Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alec couldn’t even remember how it started.

He just remembered the heat of the club, the pounding of the music and then, Magnus.

He wasn’t there for fun. He’d never have stepped inside if that were the case. He’d never have gained the courage to but on a mission, it all seemed a hell of a lot easier.

Alec had to fit in. He’d blow their cover if he didn’t.

Dancing with Magnus had only been a bonus. A dangerous one. A stupid one.

Izzy and Jace noticed - how could they not? Their brother who was always so high strung, dancing in the middle of Pandemonium with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

“I didn’t know you knew how to dance,” Izzy said after. She’d stared at Alec wide eyed, like she was seeing him for the first time.

Alec didn’t like it.

“Anyone can dance,” Alec had responded and that had been that.

Jace tried to bring it up but Alec avoided him every time and eventually, it was back to being something they didn’t talk about anymore.

But Magnus never went away.

Magnus slipped Alec his number that night. Alec meant to throw it away, knew that he should but he’d kept it anyway. It was a memento more than anything, something he kept but never intended to use.

Until one night, a bad night, Alec found himself ripping the paper from his draw and dialing Magnus’ number. Magnus answered on the second ring and Alec spoke before he had the chance.

“Can I come over?” was all he’d said. He didn’t need to say much more.

“Of course.”

So, Alec went.

It turned into somewhat of a thing. It was a habit Alec tried to break every time he left Magnus’ loft. He was determined he’d never call again, that that was the last time they’d see each other but it was never the case. Eventually, he’d get worked up, angry and Magnus’ number would be ringing before Alec could think twice.

Alec would almost feel bad, if Magnus minded being used this way but he didn’t. He liked Alec. He liked what they did. He liked having a shadowhunter so worked up, liked being the reason Alec was worked up in the first place.

Alec didn’t tell him that wasn’t exactly the case. He didn’t tell him about every other night he’d spent beating his anger away until his fists were bloody. Magnus didn’t work Alec up, it was everything else that did. It was his mother. It was taking care of the Institute. It was being the only one of his siblings who seemed capable of rational thought. It was carrying the weight of his entire family on his shoulders.

But Magnus liked it when Alec fucked him, so Alec didn’t think it was worth correction.

Magnus had come for a meeting, the first time he and Alec fucked in the Institute.

Alec hadn’t intended to suck Magnus off in his mother’s office but he supposed he should have known where the night was going when the meeting ended with his mother storming out, leaving Alec behind to sort out her mess, as she always did.

“Show him out,” she’d hissed behind her.

Alec considered it. He was sure Magnus had other things to attend to today but when Magnus didn’t move to leave, when he merely stood there watching Alec and waiting, Alec began to consider something else.

He stood from the table and grasped Magnus’ wrist. He was pulling the warlock out of the room and down the hall before either of them could speak. He was bruising Magnus’ wrist, he was sure of it, but Magnus didn’t seem to mind.

If he did, Alec knew he wouldn’t be letting it happen.

He pushed Magnus inside his mother’s office without checking to see if she was there. It was possible she’d left, walked down the hallway and gone in. It was likely even, but when Magnus’ hips hit the wood, they were alone.

Alec sank to his knees without a word. He let Magnus fuck his throat and twenty minutes later when they both turned to leave, he realized he hadn’t even locked the door.

Alec wished he cared. He wished he was scared still but it was becoming easier and easier not to give a fuck.

After that, Magnus would meet him in the Institute sometimes. Alec didn’t ask how he got inside without activating the alarms. He pretended not to notice but surely, Magnus knew he had.

It was a security flaw, a huge one at that but it meant that when Alec slammed his door shut, Magnus could meet him. It meant Alec didn’t have to come up with an excuse to leave, didn’t have to avoid his siblings as he left and didn't have to pretend he cared if they realized he was lying.

Magnus seemed to like it too. It wasn’t lost on Alec that this building must hold ghosts for him. Some of it was in the records but most of it wasn’t. Alec knew Magnus had been locked in the cells once, when he’d been arrested in the 1800s. He knew Magnus had been at the meetings in the early 1920s, when the downworlders had been spat on and banished. He knew Magnus had been there when his parents had been given the Institute in his city as a punishment for their war crimes.

Alec knew that fucking him under their roof did something for Magnus. How could it not?

That’s why Alec didn’t feel bad. He used Magnus as a release for years worth of anger but Magnus used him just as much. Alec could see it in his eyes, in the way he stared at the cum shinning on Alec’s tongue, in the way he moaned louder in the Institute than he did when they fucked anywhere else.

Magnus wanted Alec’s parents to catch them just as much as Alec did. He wanted Maryse to find out. He wanted to see her angry. He wanted her know that he’d been fucking her son for months and she didn’t even know.

That’s why Alec pretended he didn’t notice when Magnus put the silencing charm on his room, just before they hit the bed. That’s why Alec pretended not to notice Magnus locking the doors behind them.

It was a fantasy they both enjoyed. One that Alec knew would be a calamity if it ever actually happened.

Jace found out when he and Magnus had been fucking for a few months. The silencing charms, the locking of the doors - it was all useless when Jace walked around the corner and caught Alec with his tongue down Magnus’ throat in the hallway.

Magnus gasped, his cat eyes wide and blown as Alec pulled away. His eyes followed Alec hungrily and then darted over, noticing Jace long after Alec had.

Alec looked up and met Jace’s eyes. He loosened his grip on Magnus and dropped him to the ground. The warlock caught himself gracefully, only his unsteady breath and the spit shining on his swollen lips to indicate what they’d just been doing.

Alec thought that night in the club had been a dead give away, that Jace was being polite by pretending he hadn’t known what he was doing.

The only expression on Jace’s face was shock. He hadn’t thought for a moment that Alec was capable of this. He probably thought what their mother did, that Alec was a good soldier, a good son, not distracted with silly whims, not interested in fraternizing with the downworlders, probably still a virgin.

Alec knew he should feel panicked but when he turned and dragged Magnus away, it almost felt good to prove Jace wrong.

Jace told Izzy. Alec knew he would. He knew the second he walked away that Jace was about to turn on his heel and sprint to Izzy’s room.

What he didn’t expect was silence that followed. He half expected his sister to throw his door open and march in the second she heard but that night, he and Magnus were left alone.

Magnus didn’t like spending the night at the Institute. Alec’s bed was uncomfortable. Magnus had said so more than once but Alec didn’t need him to say it. He’d slept in Magnus’ bed. He’d slept in his own. He knew which one he’d prefer.

But that night, Magnus didn’t complain. Alec curled against him long after they’d both cum. He pretended to be asleep for a while but he knew that they were both lying there awake. Magnus had cleaned them but he’d done it so seamlessly that Alec wasn’t quite sure when he’d done it, he only knew that he was comfortable and his skin wasn’t as sticky as it normally was when Magnus left.

If he stayed silent, Alec knew this is how the night would end. Magnus would stay. They’d wake in the morning still lying like this before they both pulled themselves away. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened but it would be the first time it hadn’t happened on accident.

All Alec had to do was stay quiet and let them both pretend they thought he was already asleep.

“I want the Institute,” Alec murmured instead.

He wasn’t even aware that was what he was going to say until the words were coming out of his mouth. They felt right and honest but it wasn’t something Alec knew he was going to say until then.

“I want you to have it,” Magnus responded.

“Help me then.”

Magnus chuckled. Alec could feel it through his chest. He knew what Magnus’ next words would be, that he couldn’t help with that, but Alec spoke before he could.

“I want you to draft a declaration. I want you to say that the High Warlock refuses all further relations with the New York Institute until a new leader is selected.”

At that, Magnus was silent. “Why would I do that?” He asked eventually.

“You don’t know everything my parents did for the Circle.”

When Magnus spoke, his tone had gone dark. “Darling, I assure you I do.”

“You don’t know the proof the Clave had.” Alec pushed away from him. He fell back against the bed, so they were lying side by side.

He’d thought of having the Institute for himself so many times before. It had always been an angry thought - something he contemplated behind slammed doors, after meetings with his mother that he wished had gone a million different ways.

It was never something he thought about like this, when he was calm. It was never something he imagined actually happening.

“You didn’t read the files. They played innocent, pretended they didn’t have much against them so they didn’t have to exile them but they had everything. It’s all there. I’ll show you. You can say someone leaked it or you stole it. It doesn’t matter.”

They laid in silence for a long while. Alec could tell Magnus was thinking. He let him.

“What made you decide this?” Magnus asked eventually. “What about your brother made you…” Magnus trailed off. Alec didn’t blame him for being confused. He’d probably expected a conversation tonight but one much different.

“I’m just done.”

Alec didn’t know how else to explain it. It wasn’t a sentiment he could put to words. He was just so sick of being angry about things he couldn’t change. He was so sick of being what everyone wanted him to be.

Jace had caught him making out with a boy. It wasn’t a big deal. It didn’t have to be. Jace and Izzy would tell no one if he didn’t want them to. He could pretend it never happened.

Or he could find out what would happen if he stopped pretending so much. He could find out what would happen if he started living the life he wanted instead of the one he’d always had.

“Will you help me or not?”

There was no hesitation in his voice when he answered. “Of course, I will.”

They laid in silence for a long while after, neither of them touching. It was one of the first times Alec could remember talking to Magnus like this, without a burning heat between them. Alec was always so angry when they talked. He was always in need of something only Magnus seemed to be able to give him.

Now, they laid in silence and Alec wondered for the first time if Magnus would still like him, when the thing keeping them together wasn’t a frantic gnawing need. He wondered if this was the last night they’d do this and then, he let his eyes close.

There would be others, if Magnus wasn’t interested anymore. And if he was, Alec imagined he’d find out what Magnus was like when wasn’t pinned to a wall or lying between his legs. He imagined there would be more nights like this, where they laid side by side not speaking, not feeling like they needed to.

Magnus had a cat, though Alec couldn’t remember the name of it. He’d seen it fleetingly a few times when he and Magnus had rushed into the apartment half undressed. Alec thought that maybe after all of this, he could meet it for the first time.

It could be nice to not feel so angry all the time. It could be nice to talk to Magnus like he was a person. It could be nice to see what this could be, when everything wasn’t so horrible all of the time. Alec was looking forward to it.

He was looking forward to it a lot actually. He just needed to get the Institute first.

"Thank you," Alec murmured into the dark. 

Magnus didn't respond and neither of them said anything else for the rest of the night but when Alec woke up, he was lying in Magnus' arms and the sun was just starting to break through the windows. 

Chapter Text

Three days later, the High Warlock of Brooklyn released a decree to the New York Institute and the Clave in general. The terms were very clear.

Maryse and Robert Lightwood were to be removed from their positions. Attached had been a twenty page document photocopied from the Clave’s archives. It laid out in no uncertain terms exactly how involved they’d both been in the Circle’s massacre.

No one could argue the document’s had been fabricated. The response from Jia was attached to the report.

‘Destroy this,’ she’d written. ‘Send them to New York.’

Alec wondered who exactly she’d been speaking to and why they’d defied her. He wondered if they understood even back then what might happen if those documents fell into the wrong hands.

That evening, Alec stood in his mother’s office. He thought of himself on his knees, with Magnus fucking his throat raw. He stared at the spot on the carpet, where his knees had landed.

She paced the length of the room. Izzy and Jace stood to Alec’s side. Izzy’s expression was wracked with worry. Jace stood weirdly stiff, his expression flickering to Alec every few minutes.

Alec knew Jace enough to recognize the look on his face. He was disconcerted. Worried. He had the same look on his face that he had when he found Alec and Magnus in the hallway, that Izzy had leaving the club that night after Alec danced with Magnus for the first time.

Maryse was ranting. She was unhinged in a way Alec hadn’t seen her in a long time.

“That damn warlock!” She spat, not for the first time.

They all knew what would happen now. The Clave would be forced to obey Magnus’ demands. With the evidence mounted against them, how could they not? It would be anarchy if they refused. There would be a full blown rebellion and as much as the Clave liked to pretend they had absolute power, everyone knew their empire was fragile.

“How dare he do this? After years -”

Isabelle tried to calm her. “Maybe, there’s something we can do. We can talk to Magnus -”

Alec glanced at her then back to Jace, who stared at Alec as if he couldn’t hear the conversation happening around them. Alec wondered if Jace hadn’t told Isabelle, like he assumed.

Alec looked back to his mother. He spoke before he could stop himself.

“Maybe, you deserve it.”

The room went silent. Maryse turned to stare at him, so shocked she couldn’t even be angry. Her face contorted as she processed his words.

“What do you mean by that?” She demanded under her breath.

Alec shrugged. “You did it, didn’t you?”

Isabelle stared at him, alarmed. “Alec-”

Maryse pressed her mouth into a thin line. “It was different back then. It was years ago. You’d have the same thing, if you were there.”

Alec said nothing. Maybe, she was right. Maybe, there was a world where Alec picked up a blade and chose to be as cruel as his mother had but that didn’t change the fact that this Alec, here in this world, was disgusted.

It didn’t matter that it was years ago. She’d learned nothing and Alec knew it. He could see it in the curve of her mouth. He could see it in the chill of her eyes. She was the same person she’d always been. She’d have slit Magnus’ throat, if there wouldn’t be consequences.

An hour later, they received notice from the Clave. Maryse and Robert Lightwood were to report to Idris for sentencing, in lieu of the new evidence brought forth against them. Alec would act as Head of the Institute, until more permanent decisions could be made.

Isabelle went to Idris with them and brought back the verdict. Robert would remain there, stripped of his title. Maryse would be deruned.

Alec thought that for once, the Clave had been fair. The evidence against his mother was damning. His father had only ever gone along with it.

Alec expected a confrontation but Jace said nothing, even when they were alone.

That night, Alec thought of the look on Jace’s face when Isabelle told them. Jace had always had a different relationship with Maryse than Izzy and Alec did. Jace was the golden child. Maryse had favored him from the moment he moved in with them and to Jace, Maryse had been the only mother he’d ever known.

Alec imagined her, deruned in the mundane world somewhere. He couldn’t.

They had a meeting the next evening, to discuss the recent changes with the local downworld leaders. It had been Alec’s idea, one he felt had gone over rather well. No one was happy about the crimes of the Circle being brought up again but no one could argue justice hadn’t been served.

After the meeting, Magnus and Alec stood outside of the Institute. They stood nearly a foot apart, waiting until they were alone even though they still didn’t speak. It was Alec who finally broke the silence.

“Thank you.”

Magnus didn’t move. There was a strange look on his face that Alec couldn’t read.

“It wasn’t for you.”

“I know. Thank you anyway.”

They lapsed into silence again. Slowly, Magnus turned towards him. His brow was furrowed as he took Alec in.

“Don’t make me regret it, Alexander.”

It occurred to Alec how little he and Magnus really knew each other. Magnus had put a lot of faith in him, for someone he’d only spent a handful of nights with, talking about nothing substantial.

“I haven’t mettled in Clave affairs in years. I used to but it never helped anything. No matter what pieces were removed, someone just as horrible always seemed to fall in their place. Nothing ever changed. It wasn’t worth getting involved.” Magnus fell silent but Alec still didn't speak. He could tell Magnus wasn't done. 

“I helped you.” Magnus turned to look back out to the gateway of the Institute, an almost pained expression on his face. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. “Please, Alec. Don’t make me regret it.”

A minute later, Magnus was gone and Alec stood outside alone.

Jace and him didn’t talk for nearly a week. They worked together. Jace would nod when Alec asked him to do something and he’d do it without complaint but they didn’t talk, not even once, until one night, Jace finally broke.

Jace was kneeling in the alley. His fingers reached out, dipping into some ichor smeared on the ground. Normally, the Head of the Institute didn’t do ground missions but they were strapped for people. The uncertainty of the New York Institute had ripple effects. People left not because they disagreed with the Clave’s ruling but because they didn’t want to be around if the Clave decided to take things further.

Alec couldn’t blame them. The Clave’s attention was normally not a good thing and Alec knew damn well which Institute had their attention now.

Jace rose to his feet. He wiped his fingers on the rough material of his pants. He nodded once in the direction the demon had gone and then, they were both walking forward again.

“You and the warlock?” Jace’s voice was rough. He was trying to sound casual. He was failing.

Alec shifted the bow on his back. “His name is Magnus.”

“I know.”

They kept walking.

“When did it start? Before that night in the club?”

“No. That was the first night.”

They stopped when they reached the next street. Jace looked around, frowning. After a second, they started down one way instead of the other. Alec didn’t ask why.

“And he, what? Had you look for evidence?”

Alec tightened his grip on the bow. “No, I’m the one that asked him to do it.”

Jace stopped walking. His knuckles were white where he was gripping his seraph blade. “Why would you do that?” He turned to Alec. His eyes were tight and brimming with anger.

Alec stopped. He stared, taking in Jace’s face without responding. Finally, he opened his mouth. “Why? Do you think it’s wrong, what happened to them?”

Jace shook his head. “Of course, I don’t. They deserved it but you -” Jace sputtered, uncharacteristically fumbling for his words. “You, just, after years of -”

Alec’s eyes narrowed. “After years of what?”

“You did everything they told you to!” Jace snapped. “You followed her every word, you enforced every command and then one day you wake up and decide to have the guy you’re fucking ruin them?” Jace was panting, hard and out of breath. He looked furious, more so than Alec had ever seen him.

“You never even disagreed with them. You said nothing and then one day at the drop of a hat, you just -” Jace shook his head. His words broke off. “I don’t understand you. I don’t understand how you could do that. You didn’t even try anything else.”

Jace turned away. He started walking again, leaving Alec to follow behind him.

“What else could I have tried?” Alec asked. He laughed humorlessly as Jace turned back to him.

His parabatai threw his hands up. “I don’t know!" His words were twisted with sarcasm. "You could have started by telling her she was wrong and seeing what happened.”

Jace disappeared down the street. Alec followed at a lengthy distance that neither of them tried to close.

It was only when they reached the entrance of the Institute that they fell in line together.

“Why does it bother you so much, if you know they deserved it?”

Jace stilled with his back to Alec.

“What happens if you disagree with me?” Jace finally turned to peer at Alec in the dark. “Are you going to say something? Or are you going to have your boyfriend send me away?”

Alec blinked in surprise. “Jace, that’s ridiculous.”

Jace quirked an eyebrow. “Is it? I wouldn’t know. You didn’t tell me about any of it either.”

Without another word, Jace disappeared into the Institute.

Magnus’ loft was quiet.

Alec half expected to arrive and find people there, music or some other evidence that Magnus was busy and Alec should go find somewhere else to sulk. But when he arrived, the loft was quiet and there was only the soft light in the living room shining out onto the street below.

Alec hesitated on the sidewalk. It had always felt so easy, knocking on Magnus’ door. There were never any words that needed to be exchanged. Magnus would open the door and all of sudden, they’d be kissing. They’d be scrambling to get their clothes off before they hit the bed and sometimes, even after they would say nothing to each other.

It was easy like that. They both got what they needed and then, they were gone before any awkward conversation could be had but now, it had been weeks.

Something had changed. Everything between them was no longer frantic and rushed or maybe, Alec was just less angry. 

Alec started forward. He pushed the doorway open and made his way up the steps to Magnus’ apartment. Outside of it, he hesitated again. What was he even supposed to say?

Alec raised a hand to knock, stilled and then dropped it.

This was stupid. He should just leave. Maybe things were different now because they’d run their course and Alec should get the hint and leave Magnus alone.

Alec was just about to turn around when the door cracked open. Magnus stood on the other side. His hair was down, laying in soft ringlets around his face. His make up was gone, leaving only the remnants of eyeshadow around his eyes. He was wearing pajamas, or at least Alec thought they were. It was hard to tell sometimes, with the extravagant and sometimes odd clothes Magnus seemed to have in his collection.

Magnus’ eyes crinkled in amusement.

Alec was still wearing his gear. His boots were dirty. His bow lay at the Institute, abandoned in the foyer.

“Were you planning on knocking or?”

Alec frowned. “I was still thinking about it.” He said honestly. “I wasn’t sure if I’d be bothering you.”

“You never cared about bothering me before.”

“Yeah, but that was -” Alec trailed off, the word ‘different’ dying on his tongue. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair. He was sure it was a mess. Taking down demons tended to make it that way. He hadn’t thought to check. “Can I come in?”

Magnus stepped aside.

In the entrance, Alec knelt to take his ichor covered boots off before Magnus could ask. As he pushed them aside, he took a moment to look around Magnus’ home. There were some books and potion ingredients abandoned on Magnus’ kitchen table. It could have been something Magnus was working on an hour ago or a few months ago. It was hard to tell, when dust didn’t collect on Magnus’ things like it did everywhere else.

Magnus had clearly been in the living room before Alec arrived, because the rest of the loft was dark. There was a mundane tv show playing, though it appeared to be muted. The couch was lined with soft blankets that had a distinctly Magnus shaped hole in them.

Alec hesitated again. This is why he hadn’t wanted to knock. He didn’t know what he was doing.

“Do you want to sit?” Magnus posed behind him.

Alec’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Yeah but I -” Alec looked down to the gear he was still wearing. It wasn’t viably dirty, not like his boots, but Alec still wouldn’t risk putting it anywhere near Magnus’ furniture.

“I’ll get you something to change into.” Magnus disappeared into his bedroom. He appeared a moment later with a bundle of fabric that was soft when he pressed it into Alec’s arms. “Go clean up. I’ll wait.”

Alec nodded once, opened his mouth to speak and then closed it before disappearing into the bathroom without a word. He closed the door hard behind him. Alone, he sat on the toilet and buried his face in his hands.

Why was talking to Magnus so hard?

He’d spent so many nights here but he'd never given himself a moment to stop and be nervous. Even the first time they’d done this, the first time Alec had ever done this, he’d buried his tongue in Magnus’ mouth and instead of feeling nervous, he’d felt that rage inside of him shift into something else - something he could control, something spiteful.

He hadn’t considered what would happen if he was so horrible in bed that Magnus never wanted to do it again. He’d just done it and when Magnus moaned for the first time, he’d have done anything to make him do it again.

Now, all of that rage was gone. Alec wasn’t angry anymore. He was tired. He was sad and he had absolutely no clue how to be someone Magnus might want to be around when they weren’t falling into bed together.

Alec rose to his feet. After a second of hesitation, he switched the shower on. He pushed away the thought of the last time he’d been in here, with Magnus kissing down his wet torso, and stepped into the cold water.

Twenty minutes later, he was shivering as changed into the clothes Magnus had given him. He stopped to stare at himself in the mirror. He tried to fix his wet hair and settled at shoving it all back, so it was out of his face.

If Magnus didn’t like how he looked, he’d probably have said something prior to this. At the very least, he was clean.

When Alec emerged from the bathroom, Magnus was standing in the kitchen. There was a kettle hissing softly on the stove as Magnus spooned something into two mugs. Magnus turned to him and smiled softly. “Tea?” He asked.

Alec cautiously made his way over. He eyed the mugs like one of them might jump out at him.

He’d never liked tea.

“Uh, sure.”

Magnus poured the water. When he handed it over, something in Alec’s face made him laugh.

“I’ve never really drank tea.” Alec admitted, before Magnus could say anything. “Besides the little tea bags and those were never that good.” Frowning, Alec lifted the mug to his face so he could take a small sip and shut himself up.

It was floral with hints of orange. Alec was surprised when he didn’t hate it.

“Good?” Magnus asked.

Alec nodded. “Burnt my mouth a little but it’s good. What is it?”

Magnus led them towards the couch as he spoke. He told Alec the name of the tea but it meant nothing to him. It was from some small county Alec had also never heard of, but he kept that to himself.

They settled onto the couch. Alec awkwardly shifted his limbs, trying to find a comfortable position where he wasn’t touching Magnus but also wasn’t too far away. He took another sip of tea and then settled back against the cushions.

Magnus was staring at him, amused but looking as if he was trying to hide it.

Alec sat up again, to place his mug down.

“So, why did you come over Alec?”

Alec sat back. He shifted his hands in his lap. “Do I need a reason?”

Magnus hummed. “No, but I think there is one.”

Alec grimaced. He hesitated for a second, unsure if he should be honest or avoid it. “I got into a fight with Jace.” He settled on finally.

“Oh. About what?”

Magnus shifted. His shoulder had fallen against Alec’s, though Alec wasn’t sure when.

“He’s angry about what we did but not because he disagrees. He’s angry because I didn’t try anything else first.” Alec fell silent for a second and then continued. “And he’s angry that I didn’t tell him about any of it.”

Magnus contemplated it for a second. “Did you?” He asked finally. “Did you try anything else first?”

Alec huffed in frustration. “Of course, I did. I tried for years. Everything I ever tried to fix, she shot down. He thinks it’s so easy. He thinks I should have argued with her in front of everyone and told her she was wrong but he doesn’t understand. It’s not that easy. Disagreeing with someone doesn’t have to be some big argument. It can be years worth of not being listened to, of watching someone repeatedly make the wrong decision.”

Magnus hummed again. “If you had confronted her, would it have changed anything?”

Alec thought about it before he answered. “No. She’d have sent me away and that would have been that.”

Magnus’ hand had fallen to his arm. He squeezed softly. “Then it sounds like you did what you had to. You’ll explain it to him. There’s a reason you’re parabatai, right?”

Alec sighed. “Yeah. He’s right though. I should have told him.”

Magnus squeezed his arm again. “You’ll fix it.”

Alec looked over to him. They were close now. Magnus was leaning softly into his side, holding his arm. After a second, Magnus’ head fell to Alec’s shoulder.

It was late. It had to be nearly three am.

Alec shifted. He pulled his arm away, until he could wrap it around Magnus’ shoulders. He was thankful when it seemed fluid and less awkward than he feared. 

“What’s your cat's name?” He asked quietly.

Slowly, Magnus lifted his head. He peered around the living room, clearly expecting to find his cat somewhere. He looked confused when the white feline was nowhere to be seen. “Why?” He asked finally.

Alec shrugged. “I don’t know. You never told me.”

Slowly, Magnus laid his head back against Alec’s chest. “I wasn’t sure if you liked cats. You never stopped to pet him.”

Alec felt a twinge of guilt in his chest. “I never thought about it, I guess. I was always… preoccupied.”

Magnus laughed and the vibration was warm against Alec’s chest. “His name is Chairman Meow and he probably wouldn’t have let you pet him even if you tried.”

Alec pondered it for a second. “I’ll win him over.” He declared confidently.

Magnus laughed again and Alec realized just how few times he’d heard that sound. Alec was looking forward to hearing it more often. 

Twenty minutes later, Magnus was asleep. An hour later, Alec closed his eyes and his head settled against Magnus' own.

In his pocket, Alec’s phone lit up as he received a text from Jace.