Chapter Text
“OK, monkey, put your backpack away and then come help me make dinner. We’re having spaghetti and salad.” Chloe dropped her bag and keys and pulled off her blazer, as Trixie tossed her a cheerful “OK, mom!” and headed to her room.
Chloe headed to the kitchen and started pulling out vegetables for the salad, deliberately not pouring a glass of wine just yet, even though it was definitely calling to her. Lucifer was making her crazy as usual. His Dad was in town and unsurprisingly Lucifer was going off the rails. She was sympathetic; she knew they had a terrible relationship, and outright abuse in their past, but it was still hard to deal with Lucifer at his most erratic. She hadn’t heard how the ‘family dinner’ had gone from Lucifer yet, but when she had texted Linda to ask her, Linda had replied with a concise, “Shitshow.”
“Um, mom?”
“Yeah, honey?” Chloe turned to look at Trixie, who had come back out of her room and was looking at her mother with wide eyes and an expression of mixed shock and delight.
“You are not going to believe this,” Trixie said, with a ‘follow me’ gesture.
Chloe followed, with the amused thought that between her Devil boyfriend and circle of angelic and demonic friends, there wasn’t that much that she wouldn’t believe these days.
OK…except for what—or rather, who—was waiting for her in Trixie’s room.
Two little boys were sitting on Trixie’s bed. They looked to be maybe 8 or 9 years old. They were beautiful children, with big soulful brown eyes and dark curly hair. They were identical twins. One had a scar on his face.
“Holy shit!” Chloe exclaimed and Trixie burst out laughing.
The boys—Lucifer and Michael, how is this even possible??—were scowling. Their expressions were identical, and the scowls on their round, childish faces were endearing.
Struggling to keep a straight face, Chloe asked, “Um…what happened to you two?”
“Dad happened, of course,” Lucifer said disgustedly, his familiar accent and tone delivered in an incongruously high child’s voice.
Michael just stared at the floor. Lucifer glanced at him, then said, “He told us that if we were going to act like petulant children, then so be it. Except Michael was the only one acting like a child.”
“Go to Hell, Sam!” Michael shouted, in an equally sweet child’s voice.
Trixie started laughing again and Chloe could no longer hold back her own laughter. Lucifer and Michael stared at them, looking deeply insulted.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe gasped. “I know this must be very upsetting for both of you, but…it’s just…”
“You’re both so cute!” Trixie finished. “Mom, can I babysit them?”
The twins looked horrified. “We do not require babysitting, child,” Lucifer said haughtily, oblivious to the irony of addressing Trixie as ‘child.’ He looked back at Chloe, and she recognized the hint of panic in his eyes. “But we have no idea how to undo this. Dad isn’t answering us right now.”
Chloe shook her head, becoming a bit more serious. As the initial shock wore off, it was starting to sink in that her boyfriend now appeared to be eight years old. As amusing and apropos as this punishment might be, this had better not last long or she would have to have strong words with God. Again.
“Did this happen at dinner? Do Amenadiel and Linda know?”
Lucifer shook his head. “Right after dinner. No one knows except you two.”
“Well, if your Dad isn’t talking to you, I think we should probably ask Amenadiel for help.”
“We can’t let him see us like this!” Michael whispered in horror.
“We’d never live it down,” Lucifer agreed, nodding earnestly.
“But isn’t Amenadiel your big brother?” Trixie asked. “Doesn’t he remember when you were kids?”
Lucifer blinked. “We were never ‘kids,’ Beatrice. We were created in the adult forms you know. Dad had to invent what we might have looked like as children in order to do this to us.”
“Bastard,” Michael muttered, then clapped a hand over his mouth, wide-eyed.
Lucifer laughed—giggled, really—and said, “Oho, not the obedient son right now, are we, brother?”
“Look,” Chloe said, “maybe I can talk to Amenadiel without you being there. Really, if he can just help me get in touch with your Dad, maybe we can get this fixed quickly.” She ignored Trixie’s disappointed expression. Chloe had to admit, she wouldn’t mind spending some time with these two…little angels…but she wanted her boyfriend back more.
“That’s a good idea,” Lucifer said. “Maybe Michael and I should go back to the penthouse and wait there.”
“Do you, um, need a ride?” Chloe asked.
Michael snorted. Lucifer said, “We’ll fly.”
The twins got up and Michael opened Trixie’s window. Then they both unfurled their wings.
Trixie squealed in delight and Chloe bit her tongue to avoid doing the same.
Rather than the large, sleek wings they usually sported, both now had downy, fluffy wings, with none of their long and lethal flight feathers. They were adorable.
Lucifer and Michael stared at each other in alarm for several moments. Then Lucifer said in a small voice, “I guess we do need a ride.”