Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wolffe, at 79's: Hey, hey cut the music!

Wolffe: Someone left an ice cub on the ground and General Koon stepped in it, causing his sock to get wet. Which one of you is going to die?

BONUS

Plo Koon: Really Wolfee it's okay. I can get a new pair of socks.

Wolffe: No General. Someone has to pay, they where your 'Galaxey's Greatist Buir socks'. They are irraplacable and someone idiot got them wet.

Plo: There is no way of stoping you is there?

Wolffe, alreay loading his gun: No there isn't.

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Obi-wan Kenobi, during a senate meeting: I can’t find General Koon.

Wolffe: I got this. *USES HANDS AS A MEGAPHONE* Clones are expendable and where only made to die.

Plo Koon, across the room: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SONS!!!

Wolffe: Found him, general.

Obi-wan: Can I do that with Anakin?

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Quinlan Vos: do you remember that horrible roommate you had back when you were a youngling?

Obi-wan: you mean you.

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Obi-Wan Kenobi: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Boil: Punch hun in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Waker: Tackle him.

Cyrs: Dump him.

Wooley: Kick hun in the shin.

Cody: No, none of those. Just ask me to lean down.

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Obi-wan Kenobi: My Padawan is not THAT dramatic.

Anakin enters the council room carrying Ahsoka, the cricle of life playing, lifting Ahsoka a light shines on her: Master, behold. My padawan.

Mace Windu: You were saying.

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Fox: I give up. I’m so tired.

Thorn: Get me his emotional support senator!

Quinlan: *carrying his and fox’s girlfriend and placing her in front of Fox*

Riyo Chuchi: *smiles*

Fox: I’m up. *Kisses Riyo* Defiantly awake. *also kisses Quinlan* Thank you my loves.

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Anakin: Would you slap your best friend for a million credits?

Rex: I would roundhouse kick you in the face for free.

Anakin, tearing up: I'm your best friend.

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Quinlan: I promised Senator Chuchi we wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Fox: Why would you lie to our girlfriend like that?

Obi-wan: Your WHaT?

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Cody: What are you reading?

Obi-wan: It’s about a boy who is hearing voices so he has to go to hell wi-

Anakin: A CHILDREN’S BOOK!

Obi-wan: Yes it’s a children’s book.

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Fox: Time for plan G

Thorn: Don’t you mean plan B?

Quinlan: No, we tried plan B along time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Thire: What about plan D?

Fox: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Hound: What about Plan E?

Quinlan: I’m hoping not to use it. Fox dies in plan E.

Fox: I like plan E.

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Obi-wan, drugged up by medical: Do you think when butterflies are in love, they feel human in their stomach’s?

Cody: Obi-wan. Darling. Honey. Love of my life. WHAT THE KRIFF?!

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Cody: I’m not sure what this sentence means.

Anakin:‘ignorance is bold and knowledge is reserved’

Cody: You can read huttnese.

Obi-wan: You can read.

Cody:

Anakin: That was cold, Master.

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Obi-wan, walking through the mess hall with bolognaise and garlic bread, dropping the garlic bread in the floor: This is sadder than when I was left in an active war zone, on my own at 13.

Coby, spitting out his coffee: Excuse me?

The rest of the 212th: whAt?!

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From the amazing feralsunspotandtincan on Tumbler
Din: Cyar'ika, I hate this, I don't want you going alone.

Luke: Love, it'll be fine, I've been through way worse-

Din: That doesn't help as much as you think it does.

Luke: -AND you'd have to be undercover, which means no armour. I know how uncomfortable that makes you.

Din: That's fine, really. I'll, uh...wear a fake mustache. You know, for disguise. Then it won't really be my face, and I'll feel fine.

Luke:

Luke: Din. Sweetie. Love of my life. You already have a mustache.

Din: Yeah.

Din: But it'd be. You know. Different. A different mustache.

Luke:

Din:

Luke:

Din: ...if you say no I'm just going to stow away on your ship.

Luke: I fly an x-wing? You couldn't possibly fit.

Din: You're welcome to test that assumption at your earliest convenience.

This part is by the Awesome thewriterowl on tumbler but many know her as ShyOwl here on AO3

Luke: you seem really confident.

Din: I’m willing to do anything to keep you safe and in my sight.

Luke:....have you stowed away on it before?

Din:…..no.

And Finally My part!!!!!

Luke, who just landed on an unknown planet: Well better get the food out R2, looks like we will be here a while.

Din, falling out of the area in which they keep food:

Luke:

R2:

Din: I can explain!

Luke: OMG! How did you fit in there! Are you hurt?!

Din: Nothing I haven’t done a thousand times.

Luke, looking like he is going to kill Din but speaking calmly: You’ve done this before.

Din: Uhhhh, No.

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Obi-wan and Cody watching Labyrinth.

Cody: Omg who is that? He’s not that great.

Obi-wan: HOW DARE YOU!!!! That is our lord and saviour DAVID BOWIE!!!

Later

Cody, on comm with Satine: And yeah, then he made me leave.

Satine: Understandable he ended our relationship over me saying that David Bowie was a bad singer and wasn’t hot.

Cody: Even I wouldn’t say that.

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Quinlan Vos: You know in order for us to actually be boyfriends, we have to tell each other the deep stuff.

Fox: Oh, the deep stuff, huh? Like what?

Quinlan: Like, what’s your favourite colour?

Fox: You’ve steeped over a line there Vos.

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Cody, seeing Obi-wan is struggling with his emotions: Do you want a hug?

Obi-wan, trying to contain his emotions: Jedi are not allowed t -

Cody, holds out his arms:

Obi-wan, slides in them:

Cody: See a hug always helps.

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Wrecker: What if the “g” in GIF was silent?

Tech: Go to sleep.

Echo, remembering a similar conversation with Fives: What gif I don’t want to?

Hunter: Fuck you two.

Crosshair, sarcastically: Do they lose hug privileges?

Hunter: And for that you have to, Only Tech gets hug’s tomorrow.

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[After dinner]

Quinlan: How do you like it?

Fox: From the back, with you pulling my hair and spanking my ass.

Quinlan: *blushes hard*

Quinlan: I...I meant the coffee.

Fox: Oh. Strong. No sugar.

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Bo-Katan: As mandalorian’s our main saying is Fuck the Jedi.

Din: Yeah Fuck the Jedi. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a bounty to collect.

[1 week later]

Din: Hey, guess who I married?

Bo-Katan: Who?

Din: the last Jedi, Luke Skywalker.

Bo-Katan: What?! Why would you do that?!

Din: You said as Mandalorian’s we fuck the Jedi, and he is perfect.

Bo-Katan:

Din: You didn’t mean Literally

Bo-Katan: NO!!

Luke: :]

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Cyrs, holding a python: Mum, dad, I bought a snake! What should I name him?

Cody: You did whAT?!

Obi-wan: William Snakespeare

Chapter Text

Cody: Name one thing you wanna try in the bedroom.

Obi-wan, on his fith cup of tea: Getting a full 8 hours of sleep.

Cody: I would like that for you too.

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Hunter, opens a door to an impiral office: This is the place we are looking for.

Crosshair, Spins in the chair behind the desk: I've been expecting y-

Crosshair, continues to spin: Shit.

Crosshair, try's to stop the chair from spinning: Shit

Crosshair, still spinning no matter how hard he tries: Shit

Tech: What the hell is going on?

Crosshair, on his comm: Mayday! Help me! The chair won't stop.

Hunter: I have no idea.

Mayday, kicking the door down: Cross, baby, I'm here to h-

Wrecker: Who's that?

Mayday, laughing as Crosshair still spins:

Crosshair, crossing his arms: Mayday, this isn't funny.

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Bit by clonegirlie:

Hera: Honey, just so you know I invited Omega and she requested a plus 5

Kanan: Plus 5? That’s a little too much

Hera: I know but she insisted, and the more the merrier

Kanan: Well, if it makes you happy

-At the wedding-

Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker, Tech, Echo: *staring at Kanan*

Kanan: *staring them back*

All together: *pointing at each other* WAIT A MINUTE

Bit by eclec-tech:

Crosshair: *arms crossed* He's looking well considering how far he fell.

Hunter: *not making eye contact* Well, you know. Jedi.

Bit by me:

Tech: Does that mean I’m a Jedi?

Chapter Text

Obi-wan: Look at my face.

Anakin: Okay?

Obi-wan: No no, keep looking.

Anakin: I am looking!!!!

Obi-wan: No you're not. Look harder.

Anakin: Is there a point to this?

Obi-wan: Yes. So look as hard as you can. Focus on every part of my face.

Anakin: Alright! I am!!!!

Obi-wan: Does it look like I give a Kriff?

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In an AU were Crosshair and Mayday went awol and They live on tattoine with Obi-wan and Cody. All 4 of them are bounty hunters

Cody: Hey can I have a sip of your water

Crosshair: It’s not water.

Obi-wan: Vodka. I like your style.

Crosshair: It’s vinegar.

Cody + Obi-wan: whAt

Crosshair: I said its vinegar.

Mayday: Cross, we talked about this.

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More for the bounty hunter AU

Luke: *sneaks in through the window*

Cody, turning in his chair and flicking the light on: You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Luke: Uh I- I was with Mayday

Mayday, turning his chair: Wanna try again?

Luke: okay fine i was with Boba

Boba, perched on top of the bookcase: strike three bitch

Luke: Tech?

Tech, emerging from the potted plant in the corner: keep digging that hole, buddy

Luke: yeah well, does Briggs know where you guys are?

Briggs, dropping from the ceiling: Don't even try it

Anakin: Beru and Owen are always out late!

The fridge and freezer doors open, revealing a very cold Beru and Owen: You can't pin this on us!

Luke: Least I came back, I haven't seen Din all day!

Din, riding in doing a wheelie on a speeder bike: Speeder Patrol coming in!!

Luke: okay but Crosshair isn't here either! Why am I getting in trouble?!

Crosshair, perched next to Mayday: hey asshole

Luke: What about Fox???

Fox, muffled beneath the floorboards: Nice try, motherfucker

Luke: Okay, but what about Obi-wan?!

Obi-wan, slurping a juice box next to Cody: Think again

Chapter Text

Fox: *Pouring monster into his coffee* I'm going to die. *Chugs the coffee*

Cody:

Obi-wan:

Mayday:

Tech:

Crosshair: ..mood

Chapter Text

Cody: so... i've seen you've been spending a lot of time with Tech recently.

Fox: no, Cody it isn't what it looks like.

Cody: oh really? so there is nothing for me to be jealous about?

Fox: no! you are the only one for me.

Cody: is that so?

Fox: i promise. Tech and i are just dating okay? he's my boyfriend.

Cody: so there are no bestfriend feelings involved?

Fox: you are still the one and only bestfriend! he's just the love of my life nothing more!

Cody: but i'm still the platonic love of your life right?

Fox: of course you are bro.

Cody, tearing up: bro...

Crosshair: What th-

Chapter Text

Palps: *dies*

Thorn: timer starts now! when is he coming back? i say two months!

Thire: bullshit. one month

Fox: six weeks.

Cody: what are you DOING?? Palpatine is DEAD shouldn't we be celebrating?!?!

Edan, sipping her coffee: eight days. No more. No less.

Chapter Text

Alpha-17: Okay Fox, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Fox: Indiana Jones.

-Years later-

Alpha-17: And did you become Indiana Jones, Fox?

Fox: No.

Alpha-17: See not all dreams come true.

Fox: But I did marry the female equivalent.

Edan, nervous wave: Hello Mr 17

Chapter Text

Ness: *picks up Fox and puts him on Edan's lap*

Fox: *Bluches*

Edan: *Kisses his check* Nice.

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Fork: *signing what ice cream he wants*

Ice man: *judging glare, gives wrong ice cream*

Fork: … *visibly upset, trying to sign that it was the wrong flavor *

Edan: *about to commit murder * he ordered strawberry you ***** *starts to curse*

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Edan: What are you, five?

Some random senator: Yeah, 5 heads taller than Fork.

Fork: *risably hurt*

Edan: *Death glares the senator*

Edan: You messed up. *Draws knife from up her sleves* Big time.

Chapter Text

Cody: What is love?

Obi-wan: Well it’s…

Anakin, walking by: Baby don’t hurt me.