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Somewhere in between those waves he has lost his common sense.
It was obvious, with the way how their surfing session played out. And it was even more obvious now, when instead of two separate rooms they booked one. When they undressed each other while kissing - slowly, without any hurry even though the rush and the need to touch, to feel, to breathe the skin was burning down his blood.
Jihyun's hands have been unraveling as if they were in a daze. Or as if because their owner didn't know where to put them but to Jaewon's back. The last part was the one he liked the most. Without any particular reasons, just the thought that he could make his partner travel to a world that consisted only of pleasure and satisfaction made him smile.
They were supposed to be just very good friends, Jaewon reminds himself. But looking at Jihyun now, hazy and lost in their kisses, the worm of any hesitation and doubts about whether it was right or not began to not exist. Just like this, as if it was always so simple and easy - as if everything regarding Jihyun made so much sense that all the worries didn't find a reason for themselves to eat him alive.
Jaewon goes up for a little, stopping to admire. He never did it before, not with any of his previous partners. Never did he feel the desire, the desperate need to just look. As if Jihyun was a painting in a museum, the original, the only one in this world of a somewhat famous painter who has never shared his works with anybody else.
But this one, the one drawn by the maestro himself in his last breath, was shared to the public for the first time ever. And God, did that feel drunkening.
The lighting, the closed eyes, the lips, red, swollen from such obvious kissing, and so deliciously gasping for air as if there wasn't enough oxygen around them. As if it disappeared once Jaewon rolled on top of him, not even having room for it to simply exist.
As if it was already too packed with their feelings for such a minor thing to stay.
Jihyun opens his eyes, not quite – most of them are still hidden in the darkness of his eyelids, but even the parts that are visible look stunning: Jaewon forgets how to function properly, losing himself in those rivers, seas, oceans of everything that is going on inside the blown from their actions and eaten by the darkness pupils underneath him.
"Hyung?"
Voice, God, this hoarse voice… it's quiet, low, and so, so fucking hoarse, Jaewon almost comes simply from hearing it and understanding that the reason why usually such an unshakable voice is now a mess is… him. Jaewon. Nothing else. Just… him.
"Huh?"
An exhale. That was his most before, and that is his most now. Maybe later it will change. Maybe later he won't be able to even breathe.
Soft and warm hand disappeared from his back and was now on his cheek, slowly and tenderly caressing it: "Why you stopped?.."
Head empty. Not because there isn't a particular reason as of why Jaewon didn't continue. There is, many of them, too many of them, and he doesn't know which one he should choose. Which one would show the most of his feelings, the most of his thoughts, the most of his intentions, because whichever he puts his mind on just doesn't work, it doesn't show, it's not–
"Jihyun," Jaewon doesn't call him, he tastes the name, the dance of different letters creating the most beautiful sound. "Kim Jihyun," it's sweet on the tongue and leaves a nice feeling afterwards. Like that one alcohol that costed more than his car and that he tried by accident a few years ago. Not that he was sorry for it, though.
A small smile when the owner of the name gets visibly confused. Jaewon raises up his hand, takes into his fingers Jihyun's hand without breaking the eye contact the whole time, and goes back, goes down, to kiss, to get lost, to disappear in those lips, in that mouth–
Jihyun is sweet. He's a candy that Jaewon wants to swallow fully, wants to know every of its angles and feel every taste it has. And now, he finally has the opportunity to get it deeper. Deeper into his blood, into his brain, into his bones, as if it's actually a drug covered in sugar.
The hand in his hair and the tongue in his mouth are making magic. A smirk: Jihyun is a fast learner. And Jaewon is not sure whether he should be proud or afraid of what is yet to come.
Jaewon gets lower, right to the red neck. The pulse under his lips is beating so fast, Jaewon can't help but bite. Lightly, just to lick and kiss afterward. Jihyun freezes, goosebumps all around the waist and back Jaewon is holding with the arm he is leaning on.
Another bite. Another lick. Another kiss.
The moan straight into Jaewon's ear almost sends him to heaven.
Oh fuck.
That neck is surely a blank canvas created to be painted with hickeys. Red, blue, dark love bites showing to everyone that this boy had the greatest time of his life. But he's not sure whenever this part is for today. He won't survive another sound Jihyun makes when he likes something. Jaewon is a human, a sucker for Jihyun, and he knows... has a rough idea about his limits.
Somewhere in between those waves he has lost his common sense.
But well, Jaewon thinks as he begins to kiss the pink from the blush chest underneath him, all naked and God, so beautiful, he doesn't mind being crazy.
Another moan, now from a safe distance. Almost a safe one, but at least not as close as the first one. And Jaewon is unaffected… kind of. But he's at least capable of continuing kissing down that gorgeous chest and waist as if he didn't hear anything.
He has in mind the fact that he's Jihyun's first. In every aspect. So he's really gentle with his touches and caressing on Jihyun's side. Feather-like, just to make him understand that Jaewon's arms, lips are like water in an open ocean: everywhere, you can't really escape it. And it draws you in, making you lose your mind over the beauty of it, and not letting you go.
Jaewon is going to make this thing last in Jihyun's memory for the whole of eternity.
The broken "Hyung…" gets Jaewon once he starts to taste those abs he's been looking at since their first trip with the club. He raises his head, only to meet the unblinking once brown eyes staring right into him. It's breathtaking, really, the way Jihyun just exists and Jaewon is already on his knees ready to do whatever.
He swallows, not recognizing his own voice because of how hoarse it sounded: "Why?" and smirks a little, when it's now Jihyun whose throat is suddenly a desert.
An imaginary picture of how exactly Jaewon now looks is somehow satisfying: him naked himself, on top and leaning on both of his arms for support, squinted eyes with the gaze probably not much better from Jihyun's full of lust, and a smirk. Sly one, knowing one. He's an asshole, he knows it. A handsome one as well, which probably creates a cocktail that cannot be resisted.
And well, he was always a smart guy.
Jihyun sharply breathes, taking Jaewon up by a strong grip on his neck into a deep kiss. Jaewon closes his eyes, surrendering to the storm, a strong one, of feelings and unsaid emotions; both of them are beggars, starved for each other for months even though they met a few weeks ago. They're addicted, both not quite sure how to stop this forever craving for touches and closeness.
But if they could, why would they want to?
Hands fixed, not letting go. Lips kissing as if the world is going to break in the next few seconds and it's the last moments when they could be together; the need to breathe is forgotten, there's just them and nothing more, nothing that could ever distract them from each other.
Moments, seconds, minutes. Lungs are burning, burning down, begging for oxygen. Jaewon stops the kiss first, breathing heavily and touching Jihyun's forehead with his own in an attempt to ground himself.
How ironic. The reason why he feels dizzy is the one who can put him back.
Eyes slowly open, only to find an amazing view underneath: Jihyun still has his eyes closed, he's so pink and red, and he gasps for air just as much with his parted lips, and fuck, does it look hot. If Jaewon had a camera with him, this shot would be the one he would hide from everyone. Even from himself.
He would be that one maestro that never showed his works to anyone in this world.
Jihyun's eyelids go up, revealing what was hid under them a second ago; Jihyun swallows again, meeting the unblinking gaze above. It changed, Jaewon's sure. Somehow without him knowing and not leaving any notice of the differences from the previous version, but changed. It's obvious from the way Jihyun looks at him, with so much careful and silent anticipation as if they're somehow on a permitted territory, walking together under the gun's scope.
Quiet question, as if saying something louder would destroy everything: "Do you want me to go lower this time?"
And, okay, Jaewon's assumption of his limits was wrong as fuck. Because the way Jihyun blushes from this question even more, how his breath hitches, how he swallows– fuck, this boy is going to be the end of him. Literally, in every sense.
Shy nod, and Jaewon wants to combust. Literally, in. every. fucking. sense.
But instead, he smirks, taking Jihyun's hand into his again and intertwining fingers for a second and then putting it into his hair without even a single blink. Just to make sure Jihyun is waiting for what is yet to come; a light kiss on the forehead, the last glance at him, and
Jaewon goes
down.
Literally, poetically, physically. He has lost any sense of where the lines of differences between these words begin and end. Not that he minds it, to be honest he kinda liked it. The way there were no clear dimensions and hard mathematical problems with Jihyun that they never could solve. It was just them. Seo Jaewon. Kim Jihyun. And whatever was and is going on between them.
A comment said just to get himself together: "Don't forget to moan, okay?" a wink as he was getting lower; Jihyun swallowed, watching him as if he was under hypnosis. Gosh, how come everything this boy does is gorgeous?
The honey skin on those abs Jaewon stopped on last time was calling for him pretty badly, and well… he's a human after all. And he's a weak one that really can't handle temptations. So he kisses, caresses with his tongue, caresses with his free from leaning hand, and he knew what he was doing. Could feel it in the way they go tense and come back relaxed, could feel it in the air that escaped Jihyun's lungs not with exhales. Weak attempts at them.
Black underwear suits Jihyun pretty much. A thought so random, Jaewon forgets what he was doing – just stares like a pervert. Catches himself and blinks quickly, getting rid of the last reminders of bugs inside his brain. It's not about him. It's about Jihyun and Jihyun only.
Jaewon swallows, raising his eyes up. Voice hardly heard even by himself: "Do you want me to take it off?" finger drawing circles on the outside part of the thigh covered in black fabric.
Probably the most intimate sex he'd ever have with anyone in his life. And Jaewon is not quite sure if there would be anyone, anything that could ever beat these seconds. Because he could swear: if there is a moment when he can die without any regrets, it's this one.
Slow nod on the other side of the bed. Such a simple gesture, yet Jaewon's blood becomes lava running in his veins. Hot, melting, painful to breathe when everything you can feel is your body becoming steam.
Jaewon quite literally gets on his knees. He sits up, freeing his arms from the need to be support. "Get up a little," whisper so low, he thought for a second that another person came in; Jihyun raises hips without any words, his gaze burning a hole in Jaewon's face and body – it doesn't stop in one place, moving up and down. Just like his hands a few minutes ago.
Hands slowly, against Jaewon's inner demon's wish to put it away as fast as possible, undress Jihyun completely. And, fuck him if it's the most beautiful person's body he has ever seen.
This boy is a fucking Renaissance painting. Fucking literally. In every sense, in every way, in every–
His hair suddenly feels empty. Jihyun must've removed his hand when Jaewon got up, and the realization of it somehow deepens the emptiness.
Fingers finding the soft hand on the blanket again, intertwining them with Jihyun's for a hundredth time, if not more. Slowly raising them, putting them where they're supposed to be – in Jaewon's hair, guiding, stroking, pulling, showing how much Jihyun's unraveling. And hell, does his touch feel addicting – killing him without any hurry, tasting every moment as he gets deeper and deeper into this forever pit of wanting and longing.
Jaewon doesn't rush, no. He has plenty of time, and he has plenty of patience to start from afar. From the outside part of the hips, slowly sucking and kissing his way into the part he thought he would never see. Not even in his wildest dreams. But somehow, he got lucky. Not sure how and why, but the proof is lying underneath him, going crazy and not being able to stay silent even a split second.
Bloody fucking hell.
If he's going to be this vocal every time they have sex, they're going to need a separate house. Jaewon's not going to share the result of his efforts with anybody else. No. This part of Jihyun is reserved for him. Only for him and no one else.
The hand painfully twitches in his hair when Jaewon starts to kiss the head of Jihyun's dick, and this time it's Jaewon who can't stop a moan. He– he needs a second. Oh gosh.
He's definitely not the best at sucking dicks. He never had such experience, and only tries to copy whatever brought him the most pleasure a few years ago. And if this is Jihyun's reaction to an obviously mediocre performance (no matter how hard Jaewon tries), then what will happen once Jaewon gets better at it?
One thought about it makes him weak in his knees. No, stop thinking about it, stop imagining stuff–
"What's wrong?"
An anxious soft voice somewhere from above makes reality come back. Jaewon swallows and laughs awkwardly, putting his own hand into his hair by a habit only to meet Jihyun's in there.
He hates how easy it is to be open with Jihyun. "You know, it's my first time as well," eyes go up to Jihyun, elaborating and waiting for any type of reaction: "I mean, with a boy," another awkward chuckle in an attempt to hide the fear he felt at the moment.
The best night of his life, and he ruins it like this.
"You want to… to stop?"
It seems as if he's not the only one whose heart can't stop beating like a drum not only because of lust. But because of worries. Endless amount of them. They're like rivers, falling into the seas of their emotions and feelings. Creating the same endless amount of thoughts. Making them cautious of every their breath. Of every their movement.
A reminder that it's Jihyun's ever first time hits hard. Too hard for someone who had this in mind constantly.
Jaewon can't help but smile warmly. He loves how easy it is to be open with Jihyun. "I would rather die," words said without any back thought. Just as they are, bare and naked, without any mask or an attempt to shield. Whatever he has on his mind, in his soul.
"Go on, then."
Pride finds its way into Jaewon's heart. Someone is getting bolder, not even stuttering while saying it. Not even blinking, just rising his chin a little, to show that he's confident. In his actions, his words, his decisions. He's not afraid of new things, he wants to try them. Together, with Jaewon, who has his hand over Jihyun's and who can't stop admiring.
Like this, he looks even more gorgeous.
So Jaewon obeys. Gladly, without a single thought for any complaints, he obeys by going on. By coming back where he belongs – between Jihyun's spread legs, right above his dick. And gosh, if he was destined to stay forever here, then he would gladly accept what was prepared for him.
Because not only Jihyun being so damn hard is mesmerizing, but also the way he moved. Up, and down. And up, and down. Repeating the circle over and over again with his back. With his hips. With his neck and head, not being able to control his body whenever Jaewon kissed the most sensitive parts.
Jihyun's cock in his mouth was not something Jaewon was prepared to have tried in this life.
It was new, in every sense. Physically, because it was the first time when his partner is another man. Poetically, because it was him taking Jihyun as a whole, as he is, as he wants him to take him fully. Emotionally, because it was Jaewon's first time pleasing someone not because of the feeling of guilt, of the attempt to be accepted and loved, of trying to be 'nice'.
It was his first time trying to bring pleasure to someone precious to him, to show him how much he likes him. How much he's fond of him. How much he trusts him.
Jaewon starts licking. Jihyun stops functioning.
His throat is kinda burning and probably will be sore tomorrow, but does it matter? Not now, when the hand in Jaewon's hair is this tense and this passionate in trying to… to do something Jaewon has no idea of. It has no pattern, it just pulls in and out, as if it helps in grounding Jihyun down. And God, does it feel painfully good to be guided like this.
Seconds become minutes, minutes become hours. They both lose the sense of time, and they both lose themselves in these sands of mutual pleasure only known to them. Will always be known only to them.
Jaewon tilts his head a little, trying to get a better angle. And fuck him, but why does Jihyun who tries but really can't help but thrust his hips a little into Jaewon feel so sending to heaven and back? Because right now it feels as if they don't need to do anything more, he will come just like this. Freaking untouched, like a teenager who discovered what adult magazines really consisted of.
Broken moan: "Hy…ung."
Double oh fuck.
He swears, he didn't have this 'hyung' kink a few seconds ago. He didn't, but now apparently he does.
Just like this, just this simple and easy.
Jaewon stops, swallows with Jihyun's dick in his mouth, and that triggers another arch from Jihyun whose back goes up along with his hips. How come Jihyun is the one who receives a blow job but Jaewon is the one who is the closest to orgasm? But well, logical rules have never worked with this boy. Any rules could ever be applied to him, they just don't suit him, they constantly get lost in his actions, in the feelings towards him, in–
There's a need for a small break. Right now. Jaewon gets up, breathing heavily and feeling the need, the obligation to look up. At least for a second, before he can come back down.
And well, he thinks, looking with blurry eyes up at Jihyun who looks absolutely, totally, fucking literally wrecked and lost somewhere in another world, this is one of those moments when he doesn't regret being alive.
Red, everywhere possible and impossible, from ears to his toes, Jihyun is so fucking stunning in the night dim light of the room, Jaewon forgets how to think. How to even– he just stares, without any thoughts, as Jihyun himself tries to catch a little bit of air into his lungs and how his hand is clenching onto the blanket so hard, the fingers became just as white.
He swallows, not being able to– just do whatever. Just do anything else, even breathing. Somehow it became very hard because of that head that doesn't know how to come back down. And God, that neck, that neck that is so blushed and has two love bites that are almost invisible. Almost, because Jaewon remembers where he left them and can see their redness from afar.
"Hyung?.."
Jihyun lowers his head, slowly and as if he's returning from the clouds; his voice unstable, so quiet, so dry, so hoarse, so– so pleasing to hear. His lips are probably slightly duller now, with all that suppressed moans Jihyun didn't let out. And it probably would be harsher to kiss them, to bite, to tease, to–
Eyes become shut; a thought more to himself through clenched teeth: "Fuck…"
"Huh?.."
Jaewon quickly searches for Jihyun's hand on the blanket, and now he's not sure if it's to ground Jihyun a little or maybe to ground himself. And not a little. Not that he has any time and intention to think about it, though. Especially now, when two black-in-the-darkness eyes are shining right at him with questions. Unsaid, unasked, too obvious to just ignore.
So he just once again intertwines those soft fingers with his own, harsh ones. It's always been a contrast, he thinks. In the way they click, in the way they speak, in the way they love. That tenderness against his roughness. That purity against… him.
A small, almost unnoticeable smile if you don't look carefully enough. "Tap once you're close."
He doesn't need to pretend. Doesn't need to force himself to do something. Jaewon doesn't need to wear a mask of him wanting to do something even though he's about to throw up.
And maybe now, he goes even lower. He already knew that, well, this boy is making him swim into the deepest part of the ocean. Not that he minded it, it just turned out that he didn't know how to swim, and the only part supporting him was Jihyun himself. So now, getting his dick into the throat felt somehow calming. Soothing the fear. The worries. The whatever itch was going on.
Because licking Jihyun with Jaewon's tongue felt satisfying as if it's the way it's supposed to be. Because having Jihyun moan into the silence of the room felt natural as if it was the only way they were supposed to communicate. Because letting Jihyun into his darkness felt somehow grounding as if they were in a world where only two of them exist.
And maybe now, he thinks too much.
Jihyun's finger taps lightly on Jaewon's palm. His hand in Jaewon's hair is as tight as possible and his back is still somewhere in the skies along with his head. Somehow he hopes that his mind is far gone as well. Because it would only be fair if both of them are hazy and not thinking straight.
Jaewon goes up once again, now for different reasons from previous times. He tries to not look up at Jihyun to not get distracted. And well, to not lose his mind as well. Because if Jihyun who was full of pleasure looked so breathtaking, then Jihyun that is close to the edge is going to be even more—
Free hand without any hurry travels from knees, up to hips, up to Jihyun's so red, so wet, so shiny, so hard dick. Fingers slowly track the shapes, the beautiful lines of the inside of toned thighs. Tasting. Enjoying. Making it last. Tattooing it into his memory, right into the back of his head to never let go of these moments, to let them stay, to let them follow him every night, with each and every dream.
He has never ever given a head to anyone in this life. And to be honest, he has never ever imagined giving one to anybody.
But this doesn't stop Jihyun from moaning so loud, Jaewon stops for a second. Then he continues to go up and down with his hand, trying to not be too rough with his touch. Trying to not hurt him in the process of bringing happiness and pleasure. Because Jihyun seems so pure, so angelic, and one thought of this soft little cloud being in pain because of him makes something inside break into pieces.
Hands are tight, tense, not letting go. They stroke, pull, causing an ache both in the hair and in the hand that Jaewon is holding. He never thought Jihyun had such a strong grip, but well, everything sometimes happens for the first time. Not that he minds it, either. He's a bit masochistic when it comes to this particular boy lying on the bed.
Because, damn, Jihyun falling from the edge of pleasure with his eyes shut is so– is there even a word for something so beautiful and magnificent? Jaewon's not sure, though he never had any problems with his own native language.
Because, damn, Jihyun just comes, as if there's nothing shameful about receiving so much at the same time. As if it's only natural for him, for human beings, to enjoy themselves.
Because, damn, Jihyun doesn't imitate orgasm. He feels, lives through it, squeezing Jaewon's hand so hard it might break. He just lets go of the air that he held inside, with the same arched back and neck and head, and fuck Jaewon if that doesn't look like a prohibited painting from the 17th century that only 'chosen' were exposed to–
A few seconds later, attempts at breathing were heard in the silence of the room. Fast, rashed, as if the air was limited and a luxury. Jaewon doesn't even blink, just observes the view next to him. He himself doesn't breathe. Doesn't feel the need for oxygen. Doesn't even remember that there's air around him that he needs to exhale in order to live. He doesn't want to break this moment of stillness after the most wonderful storm he's ever seen with his loudness.
Jaewon takes away his hand from Jihyun's and comes up, to Jihyun himself who is still trying to get back from a daze. A small smile while his chest almost explodes from the mix of feeling he really can't divide: this boy is something he's truly proud of. He can't help it, genuinely, can't help these thoughts, because one look at Jihyun makes all his insides go into a crazy dance with his feelings.
Little whisper to the silence: "You liked it?"
Jihyun slightly nods, not being able to do more. The tenderness, oh gosh, Jaewon has never ever felt this much tenderness in his lungs.
A sudden urge to do something. Doesn't matter what exactly, just something that would help this overwhelming emotion. That would silence it at least for a bit because if he just stays like this for another second he might actually just combust–
A light press of lips onto Jihyun's forehead. He loves kissing him like this. Without any sexual intentions. Without any lust in the air. It somehow feels comforting, relaxing, intimate, as if this type of showing affection is somehow allowed only between very close lovers. As if this type of showing affection is trusting, sending a wordless message to the other side: I'm gonna fall, and I know you'll catch me.
Jihyun switches a little in place, adjusting around his body. The hips accidentally touch Jaewon's dick, and both of them are suddenly reminded that sex affects everybody involved.
Again stillness. This time it's different, with Jihyun being frozen and Jaewon trying to recover and shutting his eyes so hard, they begin to hurt pretty fast.
"Hyung, you…"
The voice underneath makes Jaewon want to fall underground from embarrassment. He laughs lightly, hides his face in Jihyun's collarbone in an attempt to seek refuge. Exhales more than actually says: "I forgot about it," and for the first time in his long life, he doesn't lie about it. It's fascinating, amazing even to him himself, but maybe it's what relationships with someone you like feel like.
Thin skin is now full of goosebumps. Jaewon feels them with his forehead, and this alone makes something inside smile. Maybe he's a creep about this boy. And maybe, he doesn't care much about it. Not when Jihyun is this close, this warm, this safe, and this cozy. And definitely not when he's trapped inside his arms, lying comfortably and relaxed.
Jaewon senses a swallow and hears, senses, with his ear a sharp inhale that cuts his skin like a knife for paper: "Do you want me to… to make you come?" He stutters a little, but the confidence in those words makes that little pause seem unnoticeable.
He raises his head, thinking that maybe he just misheard something. At the end of the day, he's a creep and he's weak for Jihyun, so it's possible that–
No. He heard everything correctly.
It's obvious, looking at the expression with so much unsureness yet passion next to him. It's obvious, having a hole in your face from that unblinking gaze that just drills into your soul. It's so fucking obvious, with the way it's just Jihyun. Straight-forward, a little scared but brave and stubborn countryside mouse that doesn't sugarcoat things. He asks, requests, and demands answers for the questions he's curious about.
It's Jihyun. It's really him, because Jaewon never had his heart beating so fast over a question of whenever he wants to come. It's really him, being the only one who makes his throat a desert full of wind that no matter how much water he drinks, it still won't be enough. It's him, really, who makes him sincere in things he always lied about.
A small smile: "I'm alright," and a feather-like kiss on the nose: "It's your night."
Jaewon can't remember the last time he was this honest with somebody. Like, ever. Except for last night, there weren't really times when he just opened up. Like this. So easily, so effortlessly, so naturally. Like he didn't bottle all those things inside of him for years, not letting them slip for a bit. Like telling all his dark thoughts, secrets, all the past he wished to forget and clenched to it so hard in the same was something he's been doing on a daily basis.
That's why this much is enough for him, even though he never was really satisfied when it came to sex. Jihyun for him himself is enough. Their closeness itself is enough, and Jaewon can't help but wonder since when he became such a romantic person whose limit is the presence of the other one.
And, well, he always knew he was a selfless person. He heard it a thousand times from other people, and after some time began to consider it as true. But knowing and believing are two very different things.
He understood it just now. Thanks to Jihyun, he actually learns a lot in this life. Because the way this boy squints his wide brown eyes and says with a certain intonation: "I thought it's our night," obviously applying something makes Jaewon's head fill with too many useless thoughts once again. And it may be quite dangerous because he just missed something really important–
"Hyung," a sly smirk, knowing one, with light-up eyes are a very deadly mix that doesn't promise anything good. "I may not have dated anyone," Jihyun fucking knows what effect he has on Jaewon. Because those hands, damn it, Jaewon tries to breathe while not thinking too much about those naughty hands that go down, caressing intentionally his chest, his sides, his abs, are fucking mirroring his kisses and caresses.
So Jaewon stops. Functioning. Breathing. Fucking living. He just stares and watches as Jihyun's smile grows bigger at Jaewon's reaction: "But I'm also a man," God– "And I learn quickly," he can feel the disappearance of one hand at his waist, and the feeling of emptiness doesn't reach him in time.
Because that one hand is already on Jaewon's neck, drawing him into a kiss. A rough one, more about passion and lust than kissing in general.
Jihyun's a candy, and Jaewon wants to swallow him fully. He's reminded of it once again, with the way Jihyun's tongue is all over his mouth. Licking in, sucking, giving everything he has, demanding nothing but the same amount of affection in return. And Jaewon gives. Gives even more, kissing with the same power and desire to leave nothing for himself but a naked soul. And even that one may be given to Jihyun without any questions if he ever asks.
The hand on his hips carefully moves to touch his dick.
Jaewon stops mid-kiss. Jihyun continues.
Somewhere in between those waves he has lost his common sense, Jaewon thinks to himself hiding in Jihyun's collarbone. And he's not sure that those waves are of that ocean they swam in today. Because just maybe, a random thought to find his ground, to not unravel completely, to somehow stay put, those waves are actually Jihyun's.
Elbows begin to shake. To tremble, threatening to not handle the weight of what Jaewon experiences right now. He moans, swallows, breathing raggedly in Jihyun's skin and exhaling the last pieces of his mind. It's a fair exchange, a tempting one that he gives in to, and to which he has no choice but to do. Especially now, when those soft hands are this stubborn.
It's obvious that Jaewon is Jihyun's first. He strokes, pulls, tries to copy whatever Jaewon was doing with too much amateurism. With too much passion, constantly going over the line of pain and pleasure. And it's kinda cute, with the way he tries to pretend he's skilled at it, like he knows what he's doing. And it's kinda hot because he tries to bring the same pleasure to Jaewon in return.
Another hand draws gentle circles on the sweaty neck. The contrast between this roughness even in the way Jihyun breathes into his ear and the softness in those fingers is addicting. Drunkening. Sending. There are too many words. Too many of them to describe this feeling of lightness that feels even stronger with his closed eyes.
Jaewon's close. To which edge – he doesn't know. Doesn't want to know. Because the tension between his lungs is building too fast. With too much power that is going to ruin everything on its way. It's a dam that will–
An exhale into warm skin: "Jihyun-ah," a suppressed moan, lost somewhere in his throat. "I…"
Jihyun knows. And it's not the way he doesn't stop, doesn't get slower, doesn't give up that temp that actually sends Jaewon to the skies. No. He thought he's a sucker and a weak human being. He knew it way before now. But he didn't know he was this gone for this boy.
Because what makes Jaewon come is a kiss on his ear. A light one, a soft one, one that shows acceptance. With those harsh lips, with that overwhelming tenderness and affection, with that–
For the first time ever, Jaewon has lost himself in the ocean of another person.
And he falls, falls deeper into the new world. Falls on Jihyun, who lets out a suffocated exhale. Falls out of the trap he's been in for too long.
"Hyung…"
Jaewon comes back to reality after a few seconds. Eyes finally open, witnessing a happy face that is much closer than it's supposed to be; a brief realization, and he rolls over. To the empty side of the cold bed that feels bringing back to earth. That lets him think about everything, that makes him realize what just happened.
Damn.
Air is very needed but he can't get enough of it. No matter how many inhales Jaewon does, they're never enough. So he just breathes, breathes into the calmness of the room a thousand times a minute. "God fucking damn," he just ran a fucking marathon, and he won it. Came to be the first one and the feeling of victory is too much.
Light laugh. The happiness inside is shining, lighting up everything around him. Veins fill up with relief he didn't feel in a long time. His body is a cloud, a weightless one that just flows around. It can be addicting, Jaewon thinks, he may get used to it. To this much naturalness that just runs. Through his body, his head, his soul, his mind. Through every cell of his body, and fills it with something more.
A question with such an obviously heard smile: "Why?"
Jaewon turns his head to see one of the most beautiful shots of Jihyun that just… is.
He leans on his elbow, smiling so hard his cheeks might actually hurt in the morning. And he observes, looks carefully at every Jaewon's movement like he sees him for the first time. Like there's something special even in the way Jaewon just exists, without doing anything much. He looks with those eyes that are so full of admiration, Jaewon's glad he lies now.
Oxygen disappears into the emptiness. The clean hand goes up, to the squish check as he begins to caress it with a thumb. "It was, like," voice low. Quiet. Almost unheard. One tone higher can destroy this feeling of just being. In the moment, in the feelings, in the ocean of whatever was going on between them. So Jaewon just obeys into the atmosphere, asking for permission to exist, "the best sex I've ever had."
A chuckle above; Jihyun leans to the touch, closing his eyes for a second, "Very funny," only to open them again with something in them that wasn't there before. It shone through the darkness, becoming little fire lights in the night sky of those eyes. Deepened attraction? Sudden pride? Infinite trust? Everything is somehow at the same time in one gaze, in one person, in one heart, visible to him and him only.
Jaewon swallows and continues to caress the warm skin of those cheeks he seems to adore. "I'm not joking," says with as much seriousness as he can put in his voice. As much as a human being can put in one's intonation. "You're fucking amazing."
Suddenly, it's Jihyun now who swallows. He looks away, his cheeks grow noticeably warmer under Jaewon's palm. So he likes being praised, a remark for the future; a smile as he continues to caress to just enjoy the seconds of happiness. Of this unrushedness that he felt only with this boy. Of this feeling of knowing that everything's gonna be alright as long as he has him by his side.
Jihyun clears his throat: "Let's go wash ourselves," he's visibly shy, stutters a little in attempts to find excuses to escape from another round of praise. How cute, Jaewon thinks, looking at that shamelessly and roughly kissed body switching a little and putting the blanket up, "we're all stinky."
Eyes squint a little, and lips get a smirk: "Together?"
It was said just to make Jihyun even shyer, because, okay, this boy is the definition of cuteness in Jaewon's eyes, even though Jihyun himself doesn't know it. Maybe he will, eventually. Because having and keeping the mode of 'no comments' while already red cheeks become even fucking redder and those ears that kinda look concerning right now was really, really hard–
"I…" Jihyun stutters a little, taking pauses between words and not giving in to Jaewon who tries to reach for eye contact. "Um, if you want to, we could…" his fingers draw circles on the blanket, and now he looks even cuter with his shyness and unsureness.
A laugh: "Relax," he lightly pushes Jihyun into his ribs who finally turns to face him after all these endless minutes of avoidance. "I was just joking," voice warm, full of milk with honey. Jaewon didn't know just how much he got to miss those two unblinking eyes full of their own shadows and all that features. Gosh, he's so beautiful.
"I wasn't, though."
With the intonation, the expression and the gaze it becomes hard to ignore the fact that Jihyun is serious. And he just looks. But Jaewon is somehow out of breath. Quite literally, because he chokes on air and on words and on thoughts and on–
A second. Another one. He finally blinks, realizing what he just heard and understanding that well, he doesn't mind it, he's all hands in. He's such a sucker for Kim Jihyun, and there's no fucking way Jihyun's not aware of it; a chuckle: "You're gonna be the death of me," not a complaint. An admiration. A compliment from him, who never says compliments to anybody in this life.
"Do you mind it?"
Someone's getting better at flirting, Jaewon thinks with pride. Jihyun is a fast-learner, after all, that wants to try new things; he sits up, his smile getting bigger and bigger every second he looks at Jihyun. And God probably spent days creating Jihyun, because this boy who doesn't even blink while Jaewon gets closer for a kiss is so stunning and just so breathtaking–
An exhale right into Jihyun's lips: "Not even the slightest."