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Chapter Text

The Seelie Court was probably Kit’s least favourite place in the whole world (except maybe the shores of Lake Lyn and the guilt that place held). The prisons were truly terrible – admittedly this one was not as bad as the one he’d been held in the last time, before Ash had chosen Kit and the Nephilim over the Seelie Queen and the fair folk, where Kit had been tortured and broken over the heritage that he had begun to grow into. Though, the cell looked much more terrifying when he woke this time, blinking the haze from his eyes.

The Seelie Knight, his captor, grinned down at him as he was dragged to his feet by his throat, the fey’s wild eyes burning through him with an almost physical pain. But worse for Kit was the two other captives in the cell – two he couldn’t recall being there when he closed his eyes. Namely, Tiberius Blackthorn. The sight of his former friend hurt more than any of the previous mistreatment, from this imprisonment anyway. He hadn’t seen him for years, he’d avoided any possible situation where seeing him was a possibility.

“You now have some friends, half-breed.” The words still sounded annoyingly musical in Faerie. The grip around his throat was terrifyingly tight and for a second Kit feared that the Knight was going to murder him in front of Ty. “Will you…?”

“Get fucked.” Kit rasped and the fey threw him aside like he weighed nothing. As he hit the wall, Kit gasped out in pain and the Centurion that wasn’t Ty rushed to his side, dark eyes blazing with fury. In Faerie, Kit managed to spit out, “I will never bow to her.” The words made the Centurions both stare at him, likely trying to figure out how and why Kit spoke Faerie.

The Knight gave him a contemptuous look. “I will let you reconsider this time.” With that baffling sentence, the Seelie Knight turned and swept away out of the cell, the door slamming shut with finality.

Ty came over and helped the other Centurion prop up Kit in a sitting position, and his long, slender fingers pressed against a wound on Kit’s head. Kit managed to bite back a cry at the pain that radiated from the press of Ty’s fingers, but a hiss still escaped, causing Ty to recoil from him. The other Centurion bit back a curse, still checking Kit’s injuries.

“He really needs an iratze,” the boy observed, a comment that made Kit close his eyes to stop the eye roll. He bit back an immature comment like no shit but the boy then ran a hand over Kit shoulders, and Kit nearly screamed as he brushed against the wounds from when he’d been whipped. “By the Angel, Ty, he’s really badly hurt. Look!” He’d pulled his hand away from Kit’s shoulder bloody, and he turned it out, showing Ty.

“He took our steles.” Ty told Kit, and again Kit had to bite back a comment about how obvious that was. “We’ll figure out how to get out of here, and we’ll get you help.” Ty’s voice was shockingly gentle, as if they had never fallen out.

“I think… I can help. Do you trust me?” There was a quiet plea in Kit’s voice, a fragility that he despised, and he couldn’t fight the feeling that Ty’s answer really could be the difference between Kit having the strength to do what he needed or not. “Ty, please…”

Ty’s eyes skittered over Kit’s face, barely meeting his eyes before fastening on his earlobe. His silence said more than any words could have. Kit let out a broken, shaky breath, trying not to fall into despair. He closed his eyes, allowing what little strength he had remaining to fill him. He let the façade of a broken shadowhunter fall away. He was Kit Herondale, the adopted child of a former Silent Brother and an angel-blooded warlock, and he was the First Heir. The unknown Centurion fixed Kit with a strange look as he struggled to his feet and called out for the guard.

The Knight stepped into the cell and Kit let his heritage shine, the wild, feral magic radiating from him like a halo of light. The Knight’s eyes widened as he recognised the nature of Kit’s power, and he dropped gracefully into a bow – the disdain he’d treated Kit with earlier gone. Kit forced himself to ignore the sounds of confusion from behind him as he stepped forward, focussing on the whispered lessons from Kieran on the correct form of address in Faerie.

“I am the only living descendant of the First Heir and the true heir to the high kingship of all Faerie.” A strangled sound came from behind him and for a moment Kit felt his tentative control slip, worried he’d spoken in English rather than Faerie. Ty can’t know – I’m not ready for Ty to know, Kit thought.

The exhaustion from his time in captivity, the weird fuzziness in his mind, the pain of seeing Ty, and the burn from his whipped back compounded and every bit of strength he had fled from him. He nearly fell, barely catching himself, staggering like he was drunk. The Seelie Knight flung himself forward to grasp at Kit and steady him. He didn’t know which of the two Centurions made the sound of distress, but the sound cut off in shock as they realised how carefully the Knight was handling Kit, helping him to sit.

“You are of Auraline?” The words sounded musical, and in Kit’s exhaustion it took him a moment to recognise it was spoken in Faerie, even though dimly he recognised that most of the interactions had been in Faerie. God, Kit was tired, he felt weak. “You bare the blood of the Lord of Shadows and the Beautiful One.” Certainty entered into the Knight’s voice.

“While humans can lie, and I have been known to do so myself, you cannot deny your eyes nor your heart – you know my power.” Kit closed his eyes as his vision swam, but he managed to keep his voice even, though the English words sounding strange in Faerie cadence. When had Kit slipped back into English? He couldn’t remember. When the fey made a distressed noise of deference, Kit gathered the little remaining power he could access and opened his eyes, focusing the power in his words. “Then obey me.” The compulsion seemed to take hold and the Knight bowed.

It felt like it didn’t take long for the Knight to return all of the supplies taken from the Centurions and Kit and guide them to the exit from the Court to the human realm, but Kit had to admit he wasn’t exactly conscious. Kit was leaning heavily on the unknown Centurion and staggering behind Ty and the Knight. The moment Kit made it into Central Park, he collapsed into the grass with a relieved sigh. He watched with vague disinterest as the Knight bowed deeply to him, nodded at the Centurions and disappeared back into the Court. The Centurion, Kit really had to figure out his name, knelt beside Kit with his stele out, drawing a quick but neat iratze and energy rune on his forearm.

“How did you do that?” Ty’s tone was flat when he broke the silence but his grey eyes sparkled with curiosity, the way they did in Kit’s dreams. “The light trick, whatever lie you told him…”

“I didn’t lie.” Kit cut Ty off and Ty glared. Still hates being interrupted, Kit noted. “And it wasn’t a ‘light trick’,” Kit used air quotes around the words, “it was faerie magic.” Ty made a noise of disbelief and Kit sighed. “I’m part-faerie. I would love to say ‘I can prove it’ but right now I don’t think I could even summon a flower petal, I need sleep.” He tried to pull himself up, managing a slumped seat before all energy fled from him. “Sleep means we need to get to the Institute.” He reached for his bag, intending to dig through it, but his arms were shaking and weak. He looked at his forearm to the already nearly faded energy rune, before sighing and holding his arm towards the Centurion again. “Could you…?” The boy didn’t hesitate to grab his arm and sketch another energy rune. “I’m Kit, by the way. Kit Herondale.”

“I know.” The boy grinned impishly, and a dim flare of recognition went through Kit. “I’m Anush Joshi.”

Unbidden, the memories from three years ago stirred in the back of Kit’s mind. “I think we’ve met before…” Anush’s eyes widened in surprise and nodded. Kit quickly began to dig through his bag, looking for his phone. “Battle of the Imperishable Fields, right? You were in the Cohort but you realised how fucked up they were, gave Diego a stele to heal Jaime, and then joined Livia’s Watch…” As if she heard her name, the ghost of Livvy appeared and waved at him. “I don’t really remember much from… Aha!” Kit found his phone and turned it on. It had nearly no battery but Kit was able to shoot off a message to Jace.

Livvy looked like she was about to speak, but Kit’s phone pinged with a response from Jace. “Institute’s on their way.” Kit slurred, the energy already disappearing all over again. “I’m just gonna…” Kit’s eyes slid closed and he slumped to the side, asleep.

Kit hadn’t intended to fall asleep, he hadn’t noticed that the second rune had pretty much entirely disappeared within a minute of it being drawn. But the next thing he knew, Jace was gently shaking him awake. His cousin helped him to his feet, and Kit was surprised to see, over Jace’s shoulder, that Ty and Anush had posted either side of him like guards, one watching the Court entrance and the other the park entrance. Clary was a few steps behind Jace with her nephew and Kit’s parabatai, Ash, concern in both their eyes.

“How long was I missing?” Kit rasped to Jace, his voice barely audible. Jace’s eyes darkened and Kit felt his stomach drop, panic curdling in his guts. “Jace, please tell me the truth. I really can’t deal with a lie right now…”

“A month, roughly. Bit longer.” Jace kept his voice low as well, but the effect was destroyed by Kit’s noise of horror, loud and cutting in the pre-dawn silence. “Kit, it’s okay. I sent Jem and Tessa a fire message the moment you text me. They’re here, with Mina, they’re safe.” Jace pulled Kit into a rough hug, speaking into Kit’s hair. “Breathe, Kit, breathe for me.”

Kit tried to bite back the panic as he realised he was hyperventilating, making himself feel even dizzier. He breathed in through his nose for four seconds, held for seven seconds and letting out a shaky breath through his mouth for eight seconds, the same technique Tessa taught him to prevent panic attacks and when using magic. He let his head drop to Jace’s shoulder, still breathing 4-7-8, and Jace ruffled his hair with a shaking hand. After a minute, Jace grabbed Kit’s wrist and led him to the parking lot. Simon was waiting in an idling van, drumming his hands on the wheel to one of his band’s terrible songs.

The moment he saw Kit, a bright smile spread over his face and winked. “If it isn’t our resident sorcerer,” he crowed, “our reformed rogue.”

“Stop corrupting my cousin with your nerdy game shit.” Jace grumbled, helping Kit into the van. “He’s nerdy enough, don’t corrupt him any further. You’ve already got my sister, my wife and my nephew. Enough.”

Both Clary and Ash laughed as they clambered in the van too, with Ash winking at Kit. They both knew most of Ash’s taste in mundane pop culture was Kit’s fault, Simon simply encouraged them with extreme enthusiasm. Ash settled beside him, hand gripping Kit’s wrist and bumping his shoulder comfortingly. Anush and Ty climbed in last, settling opposite Kit and Ash. Ash leant in to Kit, keeping his voice low and speaking in Faerie. Jace, Simon and Clary all ignored the conversation between the parabatai, but Ty and Jaime looked over with a raised eyebrow.

“I can sense the fey magic on you – is that why you fell asleep in such a dangerous place?” At Kit’s questioning eyebrow, Ash let out a silent sigh. “Two strangers standing over you as guards, outside, near an entrance to the Seelie Court?”

“Not strangers.” Kit responded in kind, before raising his voice to a normal level and speaking in English. “Ash, meet Centurions Tiberius Blackthorn and Anush Joshi. Anush, Tiberius – this is Ash Fairchild, my parabatai.”

“You mean Morgenstern.” Ty countered, eyes appraising Ash and appearing to be left wanting. “Son of Sebastian Morgenstern and the Seelie Queen, ward of the Jace from Thule.”

“No.” Kit voice came out colder than he’d planned, protectiveness for his parabatai washing over him. They’d gone through the ritual not long before his capture so the strength of the bond and the pull to protect Ash shocked him. “Ash goes by Fairchild. He’s left the Court and he’s a shadowhunter. He lives with Jace and Clary.” Ty opened his mouth to contradict him, but Kit ploughed on. “Otherwise I’m Kit Rook, bastard child of Johnny Rook and some unknown Vegas dancer, Shadow Market brat and definitely not a shadowhunter. I’m pretty sure, other than my father being Rook, none of that is true, so…”

Before Ty could respond, Anush put his hand on Ty's shoulder and offered Kit a smile. “You’re right. We didn’t know about his choice, we’ll act accordingly.” Ty frowned but nodded, and Anush’s gaze lingered on Kit. “I do have some questions about what happened in the Courts…”

“I do not have answers to give you.” Kit used Kieran’s turn of phrase casually and both Centurions frowned at him. “To appropriate a mundane quote, what happens in the Seelie Court prison, stays in the Seelie Court prison.”

Most of the others in the van laughed, but Anush and Ty didn’t. Anush opened his mouth to speak again but Simon cut him off, declaring they had arrived at the Institute. The headlights of the van swept over the Institute entrance, illuminating the best sight Kit had seen in what felt like a very long time. Tessa and Jem were waiting.

Simon hadn’t even stopped the van, it was still rolling forward when Kit vaulted out of the van door and practically flew up the steps. The moment Kit was close enough, Tessa pulled him into the tightest hug ever and Jem wrapped both of them in his arms. Kit hadn’t consciously started reassuring him was okay, but he could hear his words muffled against his parents bodies – switching between English, Mandarin and Faerie. After a long moment, Tessa and Jem stepped back with suspiciously bright eyes. Tessa caressed Kit’s cheek gently as she addressed Jace behind him.

“Thank you for letting us stay here, Jace.” Tessa’s eyes always had a lovely warmth to them, and Jace grinned cheekily at her. The motherly warmth was turned back to Kit. “Kit, love, are you hurt? Do you need an iratze?”

“Centurion Joshi already assisted there, I’m just absolutely exhausted. Can I just go to bed?” Kit stepped back from Tessa and he nearly fell, his knees buckling under him. Jace immediately attempted to steady him but Kit flickered out of sight.

“Shit…”

It didn’t take Jem long to find Kit, barely awake on the bed in the room he always stayed in. To Jem’s eternal credit, he didn’t ask why Kit had teleported away from them. Jem knew Kit’s power, knew it wasn’t always Kit’s intention, rather his subconscious mind could activate the power. Instead, the man Kit loved like a father settled beside him, pulling Kit’s head onto his lap and running gentle fingers through Kit’s tangled hair.

“Are you alright, Kit?” Jem’s voice was soft, cautious. Kit hummed tiredly, the soft treatment nearly sending Kit to sleep. “I don’t mean physically, I can see the iratzes on your arm. I meant, when you first came to live with us, the mention of anything Blackthorn would cause a panic attack. Then, after you and Julian talked it out, it was any mention of Ty. Now we find out you were imprisoned with the person who hurts you the most?”

“He didn’t want to trust that I could get us out.” Kit’s voice broke on the word trust. “I had to reveal my heritage and compel a Seelie Knight to break us out rather than trying anything else. I got whipped bloody and Ty not trusting me somehow hurt worse.”

Jem made a strangled sound and Kit belatedly realised casually telling Jem he’d been whipped probably worried him. Instead of reacting, Jem just pulled out his stele and traced another iratze on Kit’s exposed shoulder without a word. He then went back to running his fingers through his son’s hair. Before long, Kit was barely awake at all and Jem gently pulled the blankets over him. Kit heard his door creak open, and Jem step out. Clearly, Tessa was outside, and the last thing Kit heard was Jem reassuring Tessa that Kit would be okay.

Kit was so tired, so wiped out, that he didn’t dream.

Chapter Text

When Kit woke up, the warm sun and the tingle on his skin that said he was close to anti-fey materials alarmed him, until he remembered. The bone-deep exhaustion of overdoing magic hit him and he crumpled into himself, a pained sob escaping before he could bite it down. He managed to swallow any other sounds, pulling the stele Jem left for him on his bedside table and drawing an energy rune and iratze on his side.

Once the rune took effect, Kit got dressed and staggered to his door and down to the kitchen. The bright sun told him it was probably around midday, so he wasn’t surprised when he walked into noise and people. When he walked in, he was promptly tackled by his little sister who buried her head in his chest.

“Kit-Kat, you’re back! You came home!” Mina squealed as Kit lowered her to the ground, her arms still wrapped tightly around him. “You aren’t allowed to let any mean faeries steal you away again! They don’t give you back quick!” Behind her, Jace laughed and both Tessa and Jem smiled fondly. “Promise?”

“I can’t promise that, Min-Min.” Kit’s voice was soft, as it always was with his little sister. “I can promise that I will always do whatever it takes to come home, okay?”

His little sister finally let go of him and he smiled down at her, letting her drag him to the table. His parents, his cousin and Clary smiled fondly at him, but Ash looked worried. Ty and Anush weren’t there – and Kit allowed his façade, the false smile, to drop. He slumped into the chair beside his parabatai and tried to smile at Tessa as she put a cup of tea in front of him.

“Ash, what is wrong?” Kit whispered in Faerie to his parabatai, feeling the waves of discomfort from him. “Are you not happy to see me?”

Rolling his eyes, Ash gave Kit a tiny smile before turning serious again, worry flooding into Kit. He spoke in English and loud enough to include the whole table. “Kit, what do the Centurions know? How did you get free?”

“They might know the truth; I ended up needing to compel a Seelie Knight to free us and we spoke in Faerie about my heritage. He, the Knight I mean, looked really shocked about it, I don’t think the Queen’s told the Court about me.”

“What about you?” Ty. Kit’s whole body tensed and Ash swore under his breath in Faerie. “What interest does the Seelie Queen have in you?” Both Ty and Anush were in the doorway that led outside, having approached silently.

Jace laughed nervously, eyes roving around the group. “You mean other than the fact that he’s a Herondale and the Queen really, really despises me?”

Ty fixed him with a disbelieving look, before turning to Kit and raising an eyebrow. “Kit, the truth?”

“You’ve heard of the First Heir, the daughter of the former Unseelie King and Seelie Queen, right?” Both Ty and Anush nodded. “Her name was Auraline, and she managed to escape from the former Unseelie King to the human world, where she met and fell in love with a human magician, who was actually from an old shadowhunter family. His name was Roland Loss, and he was a Lost Herondale. They had a child together.” Kit watched as the realisation hit Ty, Anush following a second later. Shock was written all over both of their faces, and Ty’s shock was underwritten with disbelief. “I’m the only known living descendent, so…” Kit shrugged. “Comes with some pretty cool abilities.”

With a non-committal flick of his fingers, Kit created curls and beams of golden light that danced around the room. Mina shrieked with laughter and Kit directed a few of the curls to spin around her. The rest of the table laughed and Tessa beamed at him, her pride in his control written all over her face. Ash pulled a face, used to Kit playing with his powers in a way that the others were not, given Kit had never felt weird being magic around someone with literal fucking wings. Ty watched with silent confusion and Anush looked absolutely thunderstruck. With a conspiratorial wink at Ash, Kit disappeared from his chair in a flash of light, reappearing behind Anush in a beam of sunlight. The sounds of shock from Anush and Ty made Ash and Kit exchange wolfish grins.

“Plus some really fun powers.” Ty whipped around to face him and Anush made a panicked yelping noise that caused Jace and Ash to crack up. “Yeah, I can teleport.” Kit flashed back to his chair, picking up his cup of tea. “No, I don’t think I could have gotten us out of the cell with that, it takes an amount of energy I didn’t have, and no, I didn’t know when I lived in LA.” He took a sip before looking up and seeing a surprising amount of concern in Ty’s grey eyes. “Uh, also… Kieran knows about me, but Mark and Cristina only know I have Faerie blood, not about the First Heir part. As for the Queen, she hates that I refuse to make a claim on Kieran’s throne, and that I identify more as a shadowhunter.”

“I thought the Unseelie Court was sworn to kill the First Heir.” Anush mused. “We’ve been researching the First Heir at the Scholomance, and I thought we found that the previous King made the Riders of Mannan hunt down the whole line.”

“Yep!” Kit popped the ‘p’ and settled back in his chair. Great, he thought, I’m being researched. “But Emma and Julian killed all the Riders, then I freed Adaon from the thrall he was under from the Seelie Queen, so the Unseelie, meaning Kieran, decided I wasn’t worth the trouble of murdering.”

“Plus you broke Ash out of the Seelie Court and broke the perfect loyalty spell.” Clary added.

“I helped Ash rescue himself and…” Kit immediately corrected and everyone at the table groaned good-naturedly. Kit pitched his voice over them, “and I didn’t exactly plan to break the spell! Fey magic is weird!”

“C’mon Kit,” Jace rolled his eyes, “modesty is so not a Herondale trait.”

“Besides, didn’t Kieran declare you a beloved cousin?” Ash’s eyes gleamed and Kit hid his face with a groan, just like Ash expected. Kieran’s blatant affection for him still weirded him out. “He hugged you and ruffled your hair in front of the whole court!”

Ty’s eyes widened before his brow creased in thought. “Wait, wouldn’t Kieran be your… great-great-great-uncle or something, not your cousin?” Then after a second of silence, “and how do you accidentally remove a spell like that?”

“True, but I refuse to think of Kieran, Adaon or Ash as my uncles.” Both Kit and Ash shuddered. “So cousin is what we settled on. And again, fey magic is weird.”

“Kieran did try to convince you to allow him to acknowledge you as his little brother.” Ash managed to tease Kit with a straight face, but began snickering as he said the next part. “He argued he was the ‘brother of your heart’.”

“Kieran just doesn’t want to be the youngest.” Kit grinned. “And he called me the brother of his heart, not the other way around.”

Kit had partially forgotten the two centurions as the same teasing argument played out like it always did when Kit’s heritage as mentioned, but Anush’s quiet laughter snapped him back to reality. He sent Ash a desperate warning look, hoping he would drop the usual reminder of Kieran’s declarations about their shared love of the Blackthorns. Ash nodded, letting it drop with a meaningful look at the centurions, at Ty.

“Finished with the normal sniping?” Simon strolled into the kitchen with Izzy trailing behind him, who smiled at Kit and bounded over to him to envelop him in a warm hug. “Aw, does that mean we missed the whole thing? The debate of hearts is always my favourite part of Kit’s visits.” Simon’s voice was lousy with sarcasm and Izzy huffed a laugh into Kit’s hair.

“We didn’t debate hearts this time.” Ash drawled with a lazy wave at Simon. “By now we know our hearts so well we could draw them from memory.” Ash’s voice was so flippant that both Kit and Simon snorted, and Ash smiled. “If either of us had a modicum of artistic talent that is.”

Before any of the normal snark continued, Jem slid Kit’s phone to him. “I charged your phone for you, you have approximately a thousand messages from Drucula.”

“You have a friend named Dracula?” Anush sounded baffled and Kit laughed.

“It’s ‘Dru’-cula, as in Drusilla Blackthorn. No one is listed in my phone by their real name. They’re dumb jokes or puns, or just an emoji. Like Simon’s saved as Lord Rattigan…” Simon groaned, “Clary’s a paint palette emoji, Ash is saved as ‘Ash me later’.” Ty’s eyebrow probably couldn’t rise any higher and Kit laughed. “Dru loves gothic horror, Ash avoids questions and Clary’s an artist.”

“And Simon?” Anush asked.

“Got turned into a rat pretty early in our friendship.” Jace smirked and Simon once again groaned.

“I cannot believe you told him, Jace!” Simon made a disgusted noise and Jace held his hands up defensively.

“Clary told us, actually.” Ash’s voice was gleeful, his love for chaos all through his voice. Simon’s screech made Kit laugh and Clary turned on Ash, aghast. “She laughed too.”

The fallout from Ash’s bomb drop was so loud and chaotic that it covered up Ash dragging Kit away and the flash of light as they teleported to the greenhouse. The greenhouse was warm, sunlit and smelt like freshly mown grass, fertilizer and flowers. Ash sprawled across one of the benches, crushing the bud of a flower between his fingers. For a moment, Kit could see the relation to the Seelie Queen. But the warm affection that flooded the bond chased the thought away immediately.

“So that’s the Blackthorn Kieran said your heart belongs to.” Ash raised an eyebrow and Kit shrugged helplessly. “I mean, I get it, but I don’t get it.”

“Because of Dru, right?” Ash made a strangled choking sound and Kit laughed. “I guess you’re the brother of both Kieran’s and my heart too then.”

As Ash spluttered and tried to contradict him, Kit finally checked his phone. Jem hadn’t been wrong, there were so many messages from Dru, starting out casual, then getting worried, angry and finally scared. With a small grin, he opened a new message to her and responded.

Drucula

Sorry, swear I wasn’t ignoring you!
Kidnapped by evil faeries.
Saw Ty, so fun J

R u ok? Is Ty?
Assuming Kieran isn’t the evil faerie.

Wasn’t Ash either.
I’m ok.

After messaging Dru, he also opened a text to Cristina. He typed out a message to her, asking her to let Kieran know what had happened and reassuring them both that he was okay. There was a reason Kit had been relieved when they’d figured out how to get phone signal to the cottage. Kit found it a thousand times easier to text then read and write fire messages. When she responded, Kit nearly died of laughter, shoving the phone into Ash’s hand to read the message.

“Kieran says ‘little fair one, allowing yourself to be taken was unwise. My heart is gladdened you are safe. I ask you to avoid Seelie Knights in the future’. I agree with him.” Ash managed to read through laughter, tossing the phone back to Kit.

Tell him I’ll try. Kit typed back, still laughing.

Chapter Text

“Wait, his advice was just to… avoid Seelie Knights?” Jace was pacing around the Institute Head’s office, torn between amusement and aggravation. “And he really used the same ‘letting yourself be taken’ logic as your three-year-old sister?”

“I mean his advice isn’t wrong.” Clary smiled, a laugh in her voice. “Avoiding Seelie Knights would prevent any further abduction attempts.”

Kit grinned before sobering up. “Kier knows I don’t want to get involved in Court life. He respects my choice, and is just glad I try to keep him in the loop.”

“So his lack of advice is a sign of respect?” Jace queried, doubt written all over his face. “You’d think he could offer more.”

“If I ask, he’ll provide more. He’s respecting my wish to distance myself. If you have questions for him, I can ask him to come up here?”

“You don’t have questions about why they attacked you? Weren’t you whipped? What did they want from you?” Jace stared at Kit, clearly shocked.

“Same as last time, the Queen wants me to swear fealty to her and help her bring the Unseelie under her control so she’s the Queen of all fey.” Kit dismissed it, but the words felt wrong. The Knight hadn’t known who he was, and he tried to think about the month he’d been imprisoned. “Wait, they kept asking me for something… it’s all fuzzy. I think they may have drugged me.”

Even as he spoke, he’d fished his phone out of his jacket pocket and opened the messages from Cristina. ‘Can Kieran come topside? If not, Adaon? V important.’ Kit put the phone back in his pocket. He knew any answer wouldn’t be quick – Kieran couldn’t leave the Court lightly, and, when Kit had needed him in the past, Kit had gone to him. Clary and Jace were still theorising fifteen minutes later when Cristina responded.

Kieran will attend you tomorrow morning. NY Institute?

“Oh shit.” Kit murmured, staring in horror at the phone. Jace and Clary fell silent, staring at him. “Kieran’s coming here tomorrow. Something has to be seriously wrong for the Court to agree so quickly for him to come!”

“Maybe he didn’t ask?” Jace offered, but his gold eyes darkened to amber in concern. “Don’t jump to conclusions.”

Kit felt on edge for the rest of the day. Jace and Kit’s parents had both stressed to him that he was not allowed to even put a toe outside and, while Kit agreed, his rebellious spirit immediately wanted to leave. His feet felt itchy, his eyes draw to open sky, and his skin felt raw from the iron and rowan in the building.

The only room that calmed the wanderlust was the greenhouse, so Kit curled up under his favourite tree with a comic book he’d filched from Simon. Eventually the warm air, natural smell and bone deep exhaustion he still felt overruled the restlessness and he fell asleep.

Voices woke Kit up a few hours later, the glass roof coloured by the setting sun. Kit could hear Ash’s voice in between Alec’s and Jace’s, as well as one he only vaguely recognised. He heard his name in the yells and Kit groaned. It did not bode well when his name was yelled like that. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to blink away sleep as the voices drew closer and louder. As he woke up more, he realised that Ty, and Livvy’s ghost, were sitting on the bench across from him.

“They’ve been yelling for half an hour.” Kit jumped when Ty spoke. “The Inquisitor isn’t happy that the Consul and your cousin hid your heritage.”

“I didn’t know Alec knew.” Kit mumbled, still hardly awake. “I asked that I be the only one to tell anyone, and since I’m not a Clave shadowhunter, I didn’t think the Clave needed to know.” Ty just stared at him. “I swear on the Angel I didn’t know when I lived in LA. If I’d known then, I would’ve told you. Tessa told me when she asked if I wanted to join her and Jem’s family. The Riders of Mannan kind of alluded to it during the battle, they mocked me about killing my mum.” Ty still didn’t speak and Livvy gave him a sad smile. “Also… hi Livvy.” She waved at him and Ty made an uncomfortable noise.

“I didn’t mean…” Ty’s voice shook. “I do trust you, alright? I just couldn’t see how you planned…” He took a deep, rasping breath, like it was hurting him to say the words. “Do you still hate me? The Scholomance wants me and Anush to guard you while they figure out what’s going on, but if you don’t want me here, I’ll ask them to send me back.”

Kit flinched, remembering the hurt words from three year ago echoing in his mind as he spoke. “I never hated you Ty, I didn’t mean what I said. If I hated you, I could have left you and Anush in the Court, or Central Park. I wouldn’t have slept in front of you if I didn’t feel safe.”

Before the conversation could continue, the door of the greenhouse slammed open. Diego, Alec and Jace stormed in, still yelling and tailed by a fed-up looking Ash. Ty flinched at the noise and Kit eyed the group warily. Ash came and hauled Kit to his feet, standing beside him. Ty shot to his feet when Diego looked over, standing at attention even as Diego and Alec kept growling under their breath at each other. After another few hissed mentions of his name, Kit cleared his throat and arched his eyebrow.

“Inquisitor Rosales wants you to go to the Scholomance to be protected and studied.” Alec’s voice was tight with anger, clearly not impressed with the idea. “You would have to agree to be a test subject for their research though.”

“Hell no.” Kit didn’t even hesitate. “I’m not a guinea pig.” Alec gestured in a way that said ‘See, I told you’.

“You’d be safer…” Diego began, authority in his voice, but he stopped when Kit held up his hand.

“Not a chance.” Kit spoke the way he’d heard Kieran often address his Court – quiet, controlled, authoritative. “The Seelie Queen tried to use me in that way, trying to convince me she was protecting me and testing me to help me. I refuse to allow another to do the same.” After a moment of silence, with Jace giving him a proud look, Kit continued. “I will not leave the Institute until either Jace or Clary order me to leave or I choose to do so. I accept that you want to place guards on me – even though I know it is as much to monitor me as to protect…” Ty’s eyes widened and Diego protested. “You’d be dumb if you didn’t. Placing Centurions Blackthorn and Joshi is also logical – they know what I can do, and I clearly don’t dislike them. But unless the Heads of the Institute tell me to leave, I’m not going anywhere.”

With as much dignity as he could muster, he left the greenhouse, ignoring Diego’s protests. Outside the door, Anush was leaning against a wall, detaching himself as Kit and Ash went by, following a few steps behind them. Both of them stayed silent as Kit headed to the kitchen and fixed himself some food. He offered some to Ash and Anush, and Ash took some.

“Ty said he thought you’d send him away when they offered us as guards,” was the first thing Anush said to Kit, watching him intently as he ate. “If you doubt his ability or his desire to protect you, I honestly thought he was going to try and storm the Courts alone when you passed out in the park.” Anush studied him critically. “You won’t send him back, will you?”

“No, I won’t.”

Kit slept fitfully. Ever since he’d properly woken his powers and started training them, his dreams were often vivid nightmares or memories. This night was no different. The moment Kit’s head touched the pillow the dream consumed him.

The Seelie Queen seemed to be glowing, surrounded by a teeming mass of creatures that Kit had never seen – but he could tell they were powerful. Old and powerful. Terrifyingly old and powerful. The raw power in the air choked Kit, he couldn’t breathe.

A dark figure loomed over him, reaching down towards him. “You caused the death of my children…” Mannan. Kit knew it was him.

Kit wanted to defend himself, wanted to say that it was not him who killed the Riders, but the words caught in his throat. The only thing he could do was scream as the figure reached down, catching Kit in his grip, and squeezing.

Kit felt every bone in his body shatter. He felt his power explode out of him, consuming everything in light, washing everything clean. As the light faded away and Kit felt to the ground, he could hear the screams – Tessa, Jem, Ash… They screamed his name and it was the last thing he heard as the darkness swallowed him.

Kit hadn’t really consciously considered that being guarded meant 24/7, even when he was sleeping. He was thankful they didn’t insist on being in his room, but it caused a strange sense of panicked déjà vu when he opened his door and found Ty leaning casually against the opposite wall, book in his hands. Before he could stop himself, Kit slammed the door closed again, startling Ty, and collapsing on his bed in hysterical laughter.

He didn’t react to Ty’s knock, but he wasn’t surprised when Ty peeked in, grey eyes narrowed in concern. The concern didn’t fade when he saw Kit curled up on his bed, face hidden by his hands, wracked by hysterical laughter. He came closer, reaching out before dropping his hand, sitting a distance away from Kit – something Kit both appreciated and hated. Ty stayed quiet, watching as Kit managed to slowly regain control.

“Remember when I first came to the LA Institute and you sat outside my room, reading Sherlock and making sure I wasn’t lonely but was given space?” Ty hummed in acknowledgement and Kit looked up at him, muffling the shock he felt when he realised Ty was staring directly back at him. “Seeing you there just felt like déjà vu. Though I guess this time you don’t have a choice…”

“Kit, you’re the one who sent me the first edition of Sherlock Holmes, aren’t you?” Kit blinked, taken aback at Ty’s sudden topic change, but he nodded. “Why? I don’t understand why you’d send me anything, let alone something so… special. Even if you don’t hate me, you didn’t want to be my friend and you left without saying goodbye.”

Before Kit could respond to what he knew were painfully valid points, the Institute’s doorbell echoed through the room. Kit shuddered; he hated the bell at the best of times but he knew it heralded the arrival of Kieran this time. He closed his eyes but sat up, running his fingers through his hair and considering his clothes. They weren’t ratty but they weren’t new, they’d have to do for now. Before Ty could speak again, Ash stuck his head through the doorway, shooting Ty with a suspicious look.

“Kieran, Adaon and the others are here.”

Chapter Text

The moment Kit set foot in the library, walking rather than teleporting out of deference to Ty and Ash, both Unseelie royals darted over to him, greeting him quietly in Faerie. Cristina waved at him from where she was talking to Diego and Alec, and Mark frowned at him from beside Jace, though his face lit up when he saw Ty. Clary closed the door behind them, settling beside Simon and the others on the couch.

“First things first…” Kit muttered, and Kieran fixed him with an unsure look. He raised his voice and caught the attention of the others. “I’m the First Heir, I have weird magic and I asked for it to be a secret.”

“Kier!” Both Mark and Cristina whirled on Kieran even before Kit finished speaking. Mark’s mismatched eyes were wide with hurt. “Why didn’t you tell us? You just said he was Unseelie!”

“I asked him to keep it quiet.” Kit said, his tone even despite Mark turning the hurt puppy look on him. “Other than Alec, and I guess the Seelie Queen and whoever she’s told, I’m the only to tell anyone about my heritage. That way it never spreads beyond those I personally trust.”

Jace shrugged and Alec flinched a little. “Technically I did find out from you.” Alec offered. “I saw you teleport home after the ceremony and I confronted Jace. When you went missing, he told me the truth.”

“It’s fine, I actually meant to tell you while I was here, but you were so busy. Then, I meant to tell Jace before I left that he could tell you, since you’re literally part of him.” Alec offered him a smile but Diego frowned, clearly still put out that Kit hadn’t included him in the list of his trusted people. “But that’s neither here nor there right now, it’s more important that we figure out why the Queen had me captured.”

“Isn’t the Queen just trying to get you to change sides?” Cristina offered. “If you are as powerful as the legends say…”

“I thought so as well, at first, but in our escape, I was made to reveal my heritage to our captor. He had no idea and he was horrified that he’d spilt the blood of Auraline.” Kieran looked distressed that Kit’s words and Kit’s stomach dropped – his instinct was right and he hated it. “When they whipped me, they only knew I was part-Fey. They didn’t care about Court or percentage, hell, they didn’t even know I was a shadowhunter for a while, since I cover my runes any time I’m going near Faerie. They demanded something from me. A blood pledge I think.”

“A pledge?” Cristina sounded bizarrely relaxed for the situation but Kieran paled. “Surely when they realised you were a shadowhunter, they knew you wouldn’t side with the Queen?”

“That is not what a blood pledge is, Cristina, that is an oath.” Kieran’s voice was weak, and Adaon had wrapped an arm around Kit’s shoulders, and Kit noticed both of them were almost vibrating. Kieran turned to him, his silver eye swirling disconcertingly from worry. “If the Queen is seeking pledges, it does not bode well for any of us.” The others in the room, bar Ash, Adaon and Kit, looked at him confused. “They wished for you to pledge blood to her cause, yes?”

“Mhm, I think so.” Kit closed his eyes, trying to focus on the blurry swirl of memories. “The most troubling part is that I don’t actually remember much. I remember being captured, I can kind of remember the demand, and I can definitely remember being whipped,” Kit shuddered at the ghost of the pain, “but that’s it, I don’t even remember if I said no. I assume I did but I… everything is blurry. I think they drugged me.” Kit groaned in frustration, running his hands through his hair. “I should have demanded answers from the knight.”

“Little fair one, do not blame yourself. I can assure you that you did not pledge to the Queen, and your Seelie Prince can assure you of the same.” Ash nodded from beside Jace, and Kieran continued. “The Seelie Queen, or a royal of either Court, seeking blood pledges is an old, dangerous magic, much worse than the blight my father used. If they got your blood, you would know it, regardless of anything else. Your blood would stir up enough magic to make a difference.”

“You were definitely drugged.” Ty spoke up and Anush nodded in support. Kieran and Alec both gestured for Ty to continue when he didn’t immediately elaborate. “When we were brought into the cell, Kit was slumped against the wall and trying to wake him up did nothing. He only woke up when the Knight entered the cell. They had a conversation in Faerie, but clearly the Knight wasn’t impressed with whatever Kit said.”

“Yeah, then the Knight threw Kit across the room.” Anush added.

“Did he?” Kit groaned. “You would think I’d remember that, I can’t… I remember asking you to trust me to get us out and revealing my heritage, but I barely remember how we got to Central Park. There are so many gaps in my memory.”

“It may have been magic. Adaon, will you check if the magic has harmed Kit? Some spells that affect memory can have more lasting damage and leave strong traces.” Kieran mused, and a shock of white rippled through his hair as he spoke, clearly worried about Kit. “Little one, how did you get free?”

“I compelled the Knight. I revealed my heritage and…” Kit trailed off, the realisation hitting him as Kieran raised an eyebrow doubtfully. “That compulsion took way too easily, especially since I: a) suck at compulsions, and b) had been drugged and hurt.” Kit didn’t intend for his magic to spill out, but he could tell the lights were burning brighter and he tried to take a steadying breath. “Either my magic is stronger than I thought, which doesn’t make sense, or he let us go anyway, which is either really good or really bad.”

The room was silent for a moment before Ty spoke. “I don’t think it’s bad, Kit. The Seelie Knight all but threw himself at you to catch you when you collapsed, and he gave us back our supplies without you asking.”

“True, plus you didn’t see his face.” Anush added. “When he left us in the park, he looked so shaken, like he was terrified.”

“And as we were walking, he kept muttering about spilling sacred blood.” Ty continued, his hands fluttering by his sides as he spoke. Kit was relieved to see the familiar behaviour. “If I’m right, he was hidden just inside the entrance, watching over you until Jace arrived.”

Kit blinked in shock at the two Centurions and Kieran laughed, the first amusement on his face since they’d arrived. “It is no shock to me that, even drugged and injured, the little fair one was able to win the affection of his captor!” Kit groaned and hid his face, able to feel Adaon’s laughter through the arm still around his shoulders. “After all, he won over my brothers and much of my gentry with no effort. It shocks me that the Queen continues to hate him so.”

“Mother just likes to be contrarian.” Ash smirked, amused. “The Unseelie Court’s affection for him would be enough, but…”

“Hey, Prince and King – focus.” Mark sighed, clearly used to this. Kieran laughed sheepishly and Ash flushed. “The pledge, what’s the aim? You said it was worse than the blight…”

“It is so terrible that Father did not even consider using it as a weapon against the Nephilim. It is assured destruction, of everything.” Adaon spoke over Mark, voice steady but darkened with concern. Kieran’s hair rippled with white in distress and he moved to face Kit, eyes sad. “Once enough she has gathered sufficient blood and magic, she will be able to call on the old gods and primordial beasts, and command them.”

There was a stirring of curses and exclamations of disbelief from the others, but both Tessa and Magnus had looks of oh shit that told Kit it was definitely possible and at least as bad as Kit feared. Kieran held a hand up and everyone fell silent.

“Despite your inability to use magic, the effect of the spell would be enough that even Nephilim would know if it were activated.” Kieran let out an exhausted sigh, before turning back to Kit. His face held a clear apology and Kit swallowed his panic. “You are likely to be the only one who could undo the spell, should it be activated, but it would likely be fatal. The energy required…” Kit felt himself pale and Kieran leant his forehead against Kit’s. “I am sorry, little one.”

Kit felt his knees buckle as the enormity of it all hit him. Adaon lead him to an empty chair and helped Kit sink into it, running his fingers through Kit’s hair soothingly. Ash came over to him too, sitting on the arm of the chair and squeezing Kit’s shoulder tightly. Anxiety thrummed through him, dulling everything around him and, though he knew the others were talking, the room seemed to ring with white noise.

“Kier…” Kit managed to call out, voice strangled. The older fey knelt in front of him, cupping Kit’s face gently. “You’re saying that when she gets enough pledges, I’ll be the only thing that could stand between everyone and destruction?” Kieran grimaced but nodded. “Remember when I told you I’d happily give up the abilities if I could?”

The room swum in colours, and Kit covered his face and groaned. Adaon moved to take Kieran’s place kneeling in front of Kit, his hands gentle as he made Kit meet his eyes. His gleaming, silvery eyes seemed to swirl as Adaon’s magic flowed over him, filling Kit with the soft, quiet affection he knew Adaon held for both him and Kieran. But as Adaon’s magic sunk into him, a sharp pain in his head made Kit gasp, his vision swimming and fading.

Adaon uttered a cry as Kit convulsed in pain. Kit felt panic wash through him, a panic he didn’t feel himself – Ash’s. He felt someone try and soothe him, trying to get Kit’s eyes to focus on them. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, the soothing grey colour of Tessa’s magic filled his vision and the pain began to lessen.

“Kit…” Ash’s voice sounded like he was underwater, echoey and distant. “Kit, can you…?” Everything faded to black.

When he came to, Kit was shivering, freezing cold and surrounded by loud, panicked voices. There were also the warm fingers he knew to be Jem’s carding gently through his hair, and he was so comfortable that he really didn’t want to let them know he was awake. Before he could fall back to sleep, Ash all but pounced on him.

“Kit! How do you feel?” Ash and Jem both helped Kit to sit up. Kit blinked through the bright lights, eventually just covering his eyes. “Adaon accidentally reactivated the spell, you’ve been out for about two hours.”

“I feel like I have hypothermia.” Kit rasped, shuddering as Jem pulled him closer, radiating warmth. Ash slid to the other side of him, wrapping him in a one-armed hug. “I can’t remember feeling so shit in the Court, what happened?”

Adaon moved into his line of sight, eyes downcast. “I removed the magic from you.” His voice showed his concern. “The magic was attached to your life force, so it drained your strength as it was lifted. I am sorry for harming you.”

“S’all good.” Kit’s voice slurred and the same bone-deep exhaustion from before hit him. “You broke the spell, so you did the right thing.” Adaon smiled softly and grabbed Kit’s icy hand, wincing at the temperature. “I told you I was cold.”

Ash laughed as a blanket was dumped over Kit’s head. Kit freed himself and turned to see Ty backing away, soft amusement sparkling in his eyes. Kit nodded, murmuring a quiet thanks that he wasn’t sure Ty heard. Jem wrapped the blanket around his son, even as Kit began to sway sleepily against him.

Kit quickly fell back asleep, and didn’t wake, even when Jem lifted him gently and carried him to his room. Both Ty and Anush trailed after Jem like guards and posted outside his room as Jem lowered him to his bed. Covering Kit with another blanket, Jem brushed a kiss across Kit’s forehead, murmuring a promise in Mandarin against his hair – we will protect you.

The cell was dark, icy cold and stressfully silent. Each drop of water, swish of clothing or clang of metal sounded several thousand times louder than it really was. The Queen clearly planned to leave him here, alone in the dark, until he went insane. He wasn’t sure that it was a bad plan, he was already pretty sure he was hallucinating. There was no other reason for the Seelie Queen’s son, Ash Morgenstern, to be leaning over him. He didn’t hear him come in; he didn’t see him come in.

“I’m not going to go insane.” Kit muttered, and the hallucination raised an eyebrow, almost as if he was doubting it. “I refuse to die in the bitch’s cell. I will live just to spite her. Screw you, Queenie. Kill me yourself, you coward.”

Kit nearly screamed when the hallucination reached out and touched him with a warm, gentle hand. Hallucinations couldn’t touch you! The boy smothered a chuckle, shushing him, holding a long, pale finger to his lips. Kit didn’t want to pity him, didn’t want to like him – he knew about the spell so he assumed the pang in his chest was just the spell manipulating him.

“I’m glad you’re determined to live.” Kit stared at him, still not entirely sure Ash was real. “Mother said… she said you’re the First Heir?” His voice was soft, clearly trying not to let his voice carry. “Does that mean you’re going to try and kill me?”

“No.” Kit rasped, and the boy blinked, looking disappointed. “You’d be at a severe disadvantage given, you know, I’m bound, starved and injured. I’d hate to have an unfair fight.” Kit was glad the torture hadn’t broken his sarcasm; he took pride in that commonality with Jace.

“I hoped your blood would mean that you weren’t affected by the damned curse.” Ash looked heartbroken, and Kit felt a wave of annoyance hit him. “I can help you get free, if you’d like.”

“Oh, woe is me, people are bound to follow what I say and…” Kit snarked, struggling to pull away from Ash’s hand and putting on a girly falsetto. “And everyone wants to protect me and not maim or kill me.”

Ash froze, eyes lighting up. “Oh my god, you can resist!” Kit raised an eyebrow, not sure the boy was right because the pity and like he was pretending he didn’t feel weren’t fading. “Do you want to protect me?”

“From what? Yourself?” Kit’s words just made the other boy’s smile grow.

“Do you like me?”

“I don’t know you!” Kit protested, before frowning. “I don’t dislike you?”

“It doesn’t affect you!” Ash looked thrilled and settled beside him, grinning and pulling Kit into a sitting position. “I’m definitely freeing you!”

Kit didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he couldn’t help but feel suspicious. “Why?”

Ash fixed him with a look. “Your name is Christopher, right?” Kit nodded, though he hated his full name, correcting him took too much energy. “I’m Ash, but I’m sure you know that because of who my parents are…” Kit nodded again, still swept up with the fey prince’s childish enthusiasm. “I met my aunt, Clary. She clearly didn’t like my father, I can’t blame her for that, and I know she hates my mother, but when she met me, she was forced to like me, to want to protect me. I hate knowing that no one gets the chance to actually like me, the stupid spell forces them to.”

“Oh…” Kit guessed he got that. “But why free me?”

“Kidnap me.” Ash’s words should have been a joke, but his face was deadly serious. “I want to break away from my mother. I’m not like her, I’m not like my father either – I really… I really hate it here. Janus has become an asshole, he’s angry all the time since he knows this Clary despises him. Please don’t leave me here alone.” Ash pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked his cuffs.

“I didn’t say yes.” Kit wished he could take the words back, but his brain was still catching up with what was happening. “Not that I won’t but…”

“I know.” Ash’s green eyes were downcast. “I meant it, I’m releasing you anyway. I’ll try to run away again, but Janus has always dragged me back. I’ve never had anywhere to go.”

“Do you like children?” Kit asked and Ash gave him a ‘you have clearly gone insane’ look. “I have a baby sister; you’ll have to deal with being her new best friend if you come with me.” Ash brightened, and Kit grinned. “I understand terrible parents. My dad sucked, but my foster parents, Tessa and Jem, they’re the best people ever. They’ll help you.”

Ash helped him stand and offered him a drink. When Kit gave him a look, Ash grinned “It’ll numb your pain and give you energy. It tastes horrid though, fair warning.” He wasn’t wrong.

Chapter Text

Kit didn’t wake up until the next morning, nearly eighteen hours later. When he woke, he was alone and covered in several blankets and overheating. It took him a while to extricate himself from the heavy blankets, given how weak he felt. By the time he managed to almost wiggle free, Kit’s door had swung open to reveal a tired but totally amused looking Ty.

“Are you alright?” Ty helped Kit get free from the blanket burrito, stand and stagger over to the bathroom. Kit splashed water on his face and ran the wet fingers through his hair. “Kit?”

“I feel like shit.” Kit finally responded, his voice barely audible, a rasp above silence. “But I’ll survive, though.” He turned to face Ty, leaning heavily against the sink. He took in the bags under Ty’s eyes and felt a twinge of guilt – guarding him was probably exhausting. “Ty, about the book…”

“Now isn’t the time to talk about this, Kit.” Ty offered Kit his arm again. “We can talk once this is over, alright?”

Kit gritted his teeth, and rather than leaning on Ty’s arm, he gripped it and tugged, making Ty look at him. “Ty, this isn’t gonna end anytime soon, and you’re going to struggle with guarding me if you’re worried that I hate you.” Ty flinched and Kit sighed, legs shaking from the effort it was taking to stay standing. “Please, Ty, you heard Kieran tell me I’m probably going to die if the Queen gets her pledges – I don’t want to… I don’t want you to keep thinking I hate you.”

When Ty nodded, Kit tugged him back into the bedroom, pretty much falling into the bed as his legs struggled to hold his weight. Ty leant against the doorframe, and Livvy’s ghost appeared, floating beside her twin, both of them staring silently at Kit before he spoke.

“First, I’m sorry.” Kit chose to stare at the gap between the twins rather than at either of them individually. “I lied when I said that I wished I’d never met you, I was hurt and embarrassed, so I said what I knew would hurt you too.” Ty frowned and opened his mouth but Kit barrelled on. “Meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me, along with Tess and Jem adopting me and Mina being born.” Livvy laughed and Ty nodded, still silently watching him. “I left without saying goodbye because I didn’t think you cared enough about me for it to matter, I didn’t want to… I didn’t want further confirmation of how little I meant to you.” Ty flinched and Kit bit his lip. “I was embarrassed and hurt and couldn’t face you. I shouldn’t have… I should have said goodbye.”

“You promised never to be parted. Why lie? Why leave?” Ty’s voice was shaking.

Kit let out a heavy breath, this was the part that’d given him nightmares for years. “Ty, I told you I loved you and you didn’t respond. Then, you told Livvy that there was nothing without her. I got the point…”

“You were my best friend, Kit, I knew you loved me! I don’t understand why that was a reason for me to stop.” Ty went to continue but Kit spoke over him.

“Tiberius Nero Blackthorn…” Livvy cackled at Kit’s distressed groan. “Ty, that’s not how I meant it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Kit released a very anxious breath. Ty’s reaction wasn’t disgusted or angry, so it was already going better than he’d dared to hope. “I love you and you don’t feel the same.” Kit tried not to flinch as he realised that he’d used present tense. “I couldn’t face you, so when Tessa offered to take me in, I jumped on the chance. Besides, after Tessa told me about being the First Heir, I knew I couldn’t repay everything your family did for me by putting you all in danger.”

Ty slid down the doorframe, sprawling on the floor. “You were in love with me and I never knew… and I’ve spent the last three years thinking you had forgotten me.”

“Never.” Kit slid off the bed and dragged himself over to Ty. “I could never forget you.” He slumped against the wall beside Ty, careful not to touch him. He jumped as Ty gripped his hand tightly. “When I got Magnus to give you the pendant, and when I sent the Sherlock book, I wanted you to know that I wasn’t angry, that I missed you. I knew you wouldn’t read into it like that but I hoped that… Ty, I regretted saying that I wished I hadn’t met you the moment I said it.”

Ty’s free hand rose to the pendant, as if mentioning it had reminded Ty that he still wore it. Kit yearned to touch it too, so he tightened the hold on Ty’s hand. Rather than flinching, Ty pulled his hand, causing Kit to slide sideways until his head rested on Ty’s shoulder, Ty’s cheek resting against the top of Kit’s head. Kit closed his eyes and allowed relief to course through him. Ty didn’t hate him, and seemed to have understood that Kit didn’t hate him either. He relaxed enough into Ty that both of them nearly jumped out of their skins when Livvy spoke.

“Hey Kit, what’s the Herondale curse?” Livvy smiled sweetly, but the sharp gleam in her eyes told Kit that she knew. “I’m sure I’ve heard Tessa and Jem mention it. They were saying last night that it had struck again – and they were looking at your door when they said it.”

Kit couldn’t stop it – he could tell he was flushed bright red and he choked on his breath, avoiding looking at either twin. He sat up and pulled away from Ty, hiding his face. Livvy cackled again and Ty shot her a serious look. Before he could figure out how to answer, divine intervention arrived through a loud knock on the door.

“Kit? Are you up? Is Ty in there with you?” Tessa’s voice echoed through the door.

“Hi Mum.” Kit called and he could hear a relieved sigh. “I’m up, Ty and I were talking.”

“Breakfast is ready, love.” There was an obvious smile in her voice. Tessa knew the truth about Kit’s feelings for Ty, as did Jem. “Tell Ty that the rest of his family is here and Julian’s making pancakes.”

Breakfast was a loud affair, just like Kit remembered from his time with the Blackthorns. Emma winked at Kit over a cup of tea and Julian reached over and ruffled his hair as Kit walked past the kitchen. He settled beside Dru at the dining table, flinching as she immediately punched him in the arm. She repeated the action with every second thing he said. The announcement of Kit heritage had resulted in a flurry of about six punches in a row from Dru, a knowing grin from Emma, and visible shock from the other older Blackthorns – including, to Kit’s surprise, Julian. Tavvy stared at him with wide eyes and tugged on Kit’s arm excitedly.

“Do we have to bow to you? Are we meant to call you ‘Prince Kit’ or ‘Your highness’?” The question was so clearly genuine, the ten-year-old’s eyes glinting with excitement. He looked baffled when Kit dissolved into breathless laughter.

“By the Angel, NO.” Kit finally managed to gasp out, catching the eyes of Kieran and Adaon who were both hiding laughs behind their hands. They both knew Kit’s hatred of the deference he was shown by the Unseelie. “Tavvy, I’m not a prince, okay?” The boy nodded at Kit’s explanation.

Anush, reclining beside Ty with a steaming cup of coffee, fixed him with a doubtful look. “What’s your title then?”

“The little fair one chose to hold no title.” Kieran smiled teasingly at Kit, who groaned. “He often states that his title is ‘just’, as in ‘just’ Kit.”

“He ceded his right to his title, otherwise he would be a prince.” Adaon added, and everyone swivelled to look at Kit. “He openly refutes his right to rule either Court, let alone the high kingship of both.”

“And yet an annoying number of Unseelie and all of the Wild Hunt still call me the ‘Un-prince’, it drives me nuts.” Kit slumped in his chair, looking about as far from royalty as possible. “They bow to me and they take any request to be an order, no matter what!”

Emma smirked at him. “Oh my god,” she intoned sarcastically, “is that why the Riders tried to kill you?” The sarcasm was so heavy that she sounded more robot than human. “Are you saying the Riders’ horses were disappeared by you and not Ragnor Fell? That cannot be so.”

“EMMA!” Cristina sounded scandalised. “You knew?”

“Tessa explained when she asked me to keep Kit away from battles and faeries. She wanted me to keep him away from anything that may accidentally trigger his heritage – like if the Riders of Mannan mocked him about his mother’s death.”

“I figured you knew.” Kit shrugged. “I thought Julian knew too though.”

“It wasn’t my secret to tell. If you’d stayed with us, I was going to get you to tell him.” Emma shrugged and shot an apologetic look at Julian. “I was a little worried when Kieran was declared King, so I was actually pretty relieved you left, since that meant Tina and Mark didn’t have to lie to Kieran or be lied to by Julian and me. Plus, I knew how much Tessa and Jem cared for you.”

Julian put a hand on Emma’s shoulder, clearly okay with the secret. “So, what’s the play? Mark mentioned in his fire message that the Queen’s plotting something, and you’re the lynchpin to both the creation and destruction of her plan?”

“Perks of being the First Heir…” Kit grouched, and Kieran let out an undignified snort at the look on Kit’s face. “Did we come to a conclusion yesterday, or did the conversation end when I passed out?” Kit met Kieran’s eyes and knew the answer before Alec answered.

“Since you’re the key player, we thought you should be part of the conversation.” Kit sighed but nodded, he could see the point. “We did get in contact with the Alliance and key members of the Clave, and we have planned a strategy meeting in a few days. Until then, you are not to leave the Institute. Also, Diego is sending two more Centurions for your guards.” Alec paused, as if he had predicted the sound of protest Kit made. Once Kit had made his feelings on the issue known, he grinned boyishly and continued. “I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that most of us grew up with a particularly difficult Herondale and remember the hatred Jace had for being watched or confined. Plus, your parents have dealt with generations of Herondales and your… antics.” Around the table, all present members of the New York Conclave and Kit’s parents nodded. Jace looked like he wanted to protest being called particularly difficult but, in the end, he just shrugged and nodded.

“So, in other words, behave or we’ll hit you over the head with a hand mirror and tie you to your bed before absconding to a party disguised as you?” Kit turned to Tessa with a grin.

“No Herondales were involved in that story until after the mirror…” Tessa corrected Kit as everyone else gaped at her. “Sophie was a mundane that became a Lightwood, Jessie was a Lovelace and I’m me.” At Emma’s shocked laugh, Tessa grinned. “Besides, I don’t need to do that, I’ll just set Mina on you.” She bounced his baby sister on her knee and the little girl giggled cutely. Kit shuddered and held his hands up in surrender.

“I didn’t know Tessa was such a badass.” Dru whispered and Kit winked at her.

“So. Many. Stories.” Kit whispered back.

While Dru stared at Tessa with admiration, Jem turned to Ash, who met his eyes before looking away quickly. Jem huffed a laugh and reached over to ruffled Ash’s hair and pull his gaze back to him.

“Ash,” Jem used the same parental tone he always used on Kit, warm but serious, “I know being the parabatai of a Herondale results in often being convinced to join in on all sorts of hijinks.” Alec laughed in agreement and Ash flushed. “No encouraging those reckless behaviours, okay? Both of you are not to leave the Institute. You’re both in danger, right?” Ash nodded, suitably abashed.

Julian had a strange smirk on his face as he turned to face Dru, with Ash and Kit beside her. “You too, Dru. You, and Thais if she joins us, are also confined to the Institute. No taunting Kit or trying to convince him to break the rules – you’d be putting Kit, and Ty by extension, in danger if you try to cause mischief.” Ty was clearly biting back a laugh at Dru’s attempt at an innocent expression – which Kit thought made her look a lot like Livvy.

“Big brother, I’m hurt!” Dru exclaimed, a badly faked British accent making her tone a clear joke. “A lady would never…”

“You are no lady, Druscilla.” Helen used a proper voice, sounding far more convincing before dropping it and smirking at her little sister. “You’re a terror.”

Both Kit and Ash cackled and Dru managed to hold a pout for a few seconds before grinning at them both. “Fine, I’ll behave.” Her grin grew devilish and Kit tried not to groan – he knew that look. “Kit promised to teach me a few things, anyway.”

“Christopher, please remember you are no longer a Shadow Market hooligan.” Jem whispered as he passed by him, and Kit smiled weakly.

Chapter Text

When breakfast was over, Dru linked her arm with Kit’s and started to drag him away. Anush stood and followed, awkwardly tailing Kit. Before they could get too far, Kieran joined them and shot the other two a look that clearly said he needed to speak to Kit without them. Dru released Kit’s arm to cross her arms and stare Kieran down, and Anush just stood there silently, unmoving.

With a frustrated sigh, Kit grabbed Kieran’s arm and, in a flash of light, they were stood alone in the greenhouse. Kit heard the yell from the living room as Alec realised that he had already slipped away from his guard. Biting back a laugh, Kit turned to face Kieran, raising an eyebrow.

“You wanted to talk to me, right?”

“I must return to the Court, little one. There was no protest about the visit but, as you know, I can ill afford prolonged absences from my people.” Kit nodded and Kieran ruffled Kit’s hair affectionately. “I will leave Adaon here as my representative to the strategy meeting. I beg you not cause him worry. You already cause us concern; this situation makes us fearful for you.”

“I will behave, Kier.” Kit slipped into Faerie, reassuring his King, his cousin, his friend, any way he could. “My recklessness would put Ty in danger, you can be assured I don’t want that.”

Kieran laughed, relief clear in his eyes. “Little fair one, I hope you know the faith I have in you.” Kit flinched, and Kieran’s fingers forced Kit to look him in the eyes. “I do not put faith in the undeserving, you are far more powerful than you realise.” The serious gaze softened and he pulled Kit into a hug. “Please be safe, little one.”

Before Kit could say anything, the door to the greenhouse slammed open, with an exasperated Alec, amused Ash and frustrated Anush glaring in at him. Kieran stepped away from Kit as Alec stormed up and caught Kit in a headlock, messing his hair roughly and calling him ‘worse than Jace, can’t even deal with being watched for half a fucking minute’. Kit tried to break Alec’s grip, twisting and yelping as Alec began to poke his sides.

“I never left the Institute!” Kit spluttered as Alec continued his attack. “Kieran wanted to talk to me privately, are you saying I should ignore the Unseelie King’s request?”

Kieran coughed, covering a laugh. “It is true, Consul Lightwood. I wished to speak with Kit in private. Drusilla and Centurion Joshi did not relent, so Kit acted and bought me here.” Kieran was definitely laughing at him, Kit decided, so he stuck his tongue out at the King. “I do take heart in knowing how seriously you are taking protecting my cousin. I must leave you, little one. Take care.” With a warm, gentle touch to Kit’s hand, Kieran walked out.

Alec finally released Kit, fixing him with an unimpressed look. Kit skittered away, not willing to risk being put back into the headlock. Anush followed behind him, looking frustrated. He trailed behind Kit most of the way to his room, the silence between the two cold as Alec and Ash caught up. After a few more seconds, Anush spoke.

“I don’t think you understand the concept of being guarded. You can’t just disappear whenever someone wants to talk.”

“You do realise I stayed in the Institute and am definitely the safest I’ve been in my whole life, including before I knew about my shadowhunter and faerie blood?” Kit tried to keep the bitterness out of his words, but Anush’s frown and the shock on both Ash and Alec’s faces told him he’d failed. Oh well, Kit thought, in for a penny, in for a pound. “No one protected me from my father or from the danger of the Market. I didn’t have a guard when demons killed my father, when the Riders attacked me twice, when the Seelie kidnapped me for the Queen to torture. I was alone when I faced Kieran to tell him about being the First Heir. I resisted whatever that Knight did to me to try to force me to pledge to the Queen, and, even if it wasn’t my magic, it was my blood that made the Knight set us free.” Kit’s voice was cold, bitter. “So yeah, maybe the idea of being protected is weird and inconvenient to me.”

Anush gaped at him, words clearly stuck in his throat. His face told Kit he wanted to protest but that he didn’t have the words to. Alec looked sad, almost like Jem did whenever Kit mentioned that Will’s ghost was visiting. Worst of all was the rush of shame and hurt he felt through the parabatai rune – Ash. Kit knew his parabatai had struggled with knowing his mother had been one of Kit’s worst traumas. Kit was normally really good at not reminding Ash about it. With a guilty burn in the back of his throat, Kit whipped around and vanished in a flash of light.

The moment Kit reappeared in his bedroom, he slammed himself against the door, flicking the door lock and threading a spark of magic into the doorknob so that if anyone tried to force the door open, they would be shocked. He slid down the door, burying his face in his arms and trying to swallow down the panic. The sting of hurt that echoed through the bond made the panic attack harder to fight off.

He was sitting in silence for a few minutes, eyes closed and breathing purposely. Kit wasn’t sure how long he sat there desperately trying to control the intrusive thoughts that tormented him, but when he opened his eyes again, Livvy’s ghost was chilling in front of him. She was watching him closely, pouting when he didn’t react to her.

“Hi Livvy.” Kit smiled weakly at her and she huffed.

“What’s the point of being a ghost if I can’t scare the only people who can see me?” Livvy grouched, unhappy.

“Sorry Livvy, ghosts do this to me all the time.” Kit grinned properly, feeling his panic begin to ebb away. “The ghost of Will Herondale enjoys hovering over me when I wake up so the first thing that I see is him. Says it’s a blessing to wake up to such beauty.” She cackled and Kit sat up straighter. “How’re you doing? I’m sorry we haven’t been able to talk.”

“You’re still in love with Ty, aren’t you?” Livvy’s face glowed.

“Wow, straight for the jugular then?” Kit sighed, struggling to his feet and dragging his weary body over to the bed. “You asked about the Herondale curse, do you know what it is?” Livvy shook her head, and hovered beside him as Kit propped himself against the bedhead. “You guessed it was something to do with Ty, right?”

“They really were whispering about it the other night while Ty was guarding you. They sounded sad?”

“The Herondale curse, it’s… well, not everyone thinks of it as a curse. We only ever fall in love once. The only person that would ever hold Jace’s heart is Clary, same with Will and Tessa, James and Cordelia, and Lucie and Jesse. Even when the love seems impossible, like Lucie and Jesse, or when the Herondale is under a spell, like James and Cordelia.” Livvy froze, her face falling as she understood. “That’s Ty for me. The only person I will ever love, and he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“That’s why you left.” Livvy looked sad. “Ty-Ty broke your heart, and you…”

“I didn’t know about the curse then; all I knew was that Ty was the first person that had ever made me feel that way.” Kit sighed and ran his fingers through his hair distractedly. “I tried dating in Devon, went out with this werewolf girl for a while. I liked her well enough, but I kept… it felt wrong, like I was cheating on Ty, as dumb as that sounds.”

Livvy floated closer to him, clearly upset. “Moments like this really make me hate being a ghost – I want to comfort my friend but I can’t.”

They sat talking quietly for a while, and eventually Livvy said she needed to find Ty. Kit closed his eyes, enjoying the silence for a moment. He still felt a little bad for flipping out on Anush but he didn’t regret it. He did have to face a lot alone, and he didn’t disobey the rules they’d set, so Anush’s snark was uncalled for, but Kit probably overreacted. Bloody overdramatic Herondale traits.

About fifteen minutes after Livvy left, a knock on his door shook him out of the reverie he’d slipped into. Kit stared in silence at the door, and the knocks continued, loud, forceful and seemingly not caring that he wasn’t answering. Finally, the knocks stopped and the doorknob rattled and turned, and a loud yelp echoed under the door.

“Did you booby trap the doorknob, you ass?” Dru screeched through the door and Kit grinned. “C’mon it’s only me, no one else!”

“Maybe I don’t want to see you either, Dru.” Kit countered, heaving himself up and staggering to the door. “Promise it’s only you?”

“Pinkie promise!”

Kit huffed a laugh and swung the door open. Dru was alone, and she had a bag of snacks in one hand, and was still shaking the pins and needles out of the other hand. The moment Kit swung the door fully open, Kit heard Anush call his name. Oh, fuck no, Kit did not want to deal with this right at that moment, so he grabbed Dru’s shoulder and hauled her in, slamming the door behind her, locking the door and putting the spark of magic back in the doorknob as it began to rattle. Anush cursed loudly and called for Kit again.

“I swear I didn’t know he was there!” Kit watched for a tell, but nothing. He didn’t really think she was lying anyway. “Fucker did ask if I thought you’d let me in. I thought he just wanted proof you were still here.” She stuck her tongue out at the door before turning to face Kit again. “Ash said you lost your temper at Anush earlier.”

Kit flopped back onto his bed and nodded, covering his eyes with his forearm. “I’d rather not talk about it. Wanna watch a terrible horror movie?” The whoop she let out said it all.

Kit set up his laptop, grinning as he pulled up the save list of shitty horror movies that he’d saved just for Dru, passing her the laptop so she could choose. They set themselves up against the bedframe and Dru set up their snacks. She settled beside him, shoulder to shoulder, focusing on the screen. For a moment, Kit felt a pang of nostalgia, regret for the friendship they should have had.

The movie didn’t really interest him, so it didn’t take long before he began to nod off. The moment he began to drift, he remembered what he needed to say to her. “Hey, Dru?” She paused the movie and turned to him. “I’ve missed you.” She grinned and punched him gently.

“I missed you too, Herondale.”

Kit was asleep in seconds.

Chapter Text

Dru had loaded and started another movie by the time Kit woke up again, and he was surprised at how rejuvenated he felt. It was almost like the exhaustion he’d felt since the Court was finally leaving. For a second, Kit had wondered if it had all been a terrible nightmare, but a scream from the screen bought him back to reality with a start.

“Tessa bought you lunch.” Dru waved her hand at his bedside table, eyes never leaving the screen. “The Unseelie also want you to drink the purple thing. Said it was ‘imperative to your recovery’.”

“You could call him Adaon, not ‘the Unseelie’.” Kit murmured before he quickly downed the remedy. Most of the fey magic Kit had dealt with tasted pretty ick so he was shocked when it tasted kind of like buttered popcorn. “I like him, he’s always got Kieran’s back. Plus, he punched Janus in the face when we were escaping the Seelie Court, he saved Ash and me.”

Dru shrugged, “I guess that’s cool.” With a heavy sigh she paused the movie and shuffled on the bed until she faced him properly. “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but Ash mentioned why you snapped at Anush…”

Kit sighed and flicked his wrist, sending light through the dim room so he could see at her. “Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have lost my temper, it’s just… Dru, I faced it all alone. When I met Ash and he knew, it was the first time I didn’t feel alone since I found out.”

“You didn’t need to do it alone!” Dru protested, face turning pink with anger and hurt. “You saw me so many times! For 3 years, you hid this from us! You could’ve had me that whole time! And Ty too! You chose to be alone!” Her voice wavered, and Kit was shocked to see tears in her eyes. “You could have had all of us.”

“Dru, if you’d known, you’d have been in danger too! If I’d told you and the Queen or anyone else hurt or killed you to get to me, how do you think I’d have felt? Or Jules? Do you think Ty would have ever forgiven me?” Kit gripped at his hair, a lump in his throat that burned as he tried to swallow down tears. “When I first escaped the Seelie Court, I had nightmares for months that they’d capture you or Ty. If they threatened you guys, I would have broken instantly!”

“They still could have done that! If we knew we could have…”

“Tessa and Jem watched over most of you, plus Ty’s got a necklace with protective spells and you were at the Academy, so…” Kit protested, holding his hands out as if it could placate her. “If you knew you would have been in more danger.”

Dru turned away from him and pressed play on his laptop again. Kit felt both a sting of hurt at her obvious rejection but a thrill of relief that she hadn’t outright left. He watched for a moment as she blinked at the dark screen – then he realised his magic was still lighting the room. With a silent apology, Kit lowered the magic until it barely illuminated the food Kit picked at.

As the closing credits for the movie rolled across the screen, Dru closed the laptop and stood to leave. A flash of panic filled Kit, a fear that Dru was going to leave and hate him, and he broke, saying the horrible truth that had reassured him for a year that he had been doing the right thing.

“The first time I was kidnapped by the Court, the Seelie Knights nearly killed Mina. She wasn’t even two yet, and they were willing to kill a baby to get to me. She’s only alive because I handed myself over and told them I’d fight ‘til I died if they killed her.” Kit’s voice was barely above a whisper. “This time was bad too, even thinking I was simply half-Unseelie, a gentry fey, they hurt Mina again – they made her bleed. I don’t… it terrifies me that they would hurt a three-year-old child for a normal fey. What would they do to me now, if that’s how far they’d go?” Kit was shaking, the same panic filling his mind with the memories of his baby sister, his Mina – hurt, bleeding, terrified.

“Oh…”

Kit laughed weakly, unable to meet her eyes. “Is that all you Blackthorns can say when I share life-changing realisations?”

Dru tried to grab his wrist, and Kit flinched away. “I’m sorry Kit, I just…”

“I promised not to treat you like a kid and you felt like I was.” Kit explained for her and she nodded. Kit ruffled her hair, pulling her into a loose hug. She settled beside him again. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, Dru. You’re my friend and I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

Before Dru could respond, the door swung open with a crash, framing Julian and Ty in the rectangle of light that spilled into the dark room. Julian’s parental instincts took over, taking in the dim lighting, Dru and Kit in a hug on his bed and both looking rather rumpled. He took a menacing step towards Kit, eyes narrowed.

“First Heir or not, I will kill you if you’ve so much as looked at my baby sister.” Julian gripped Kit’s collar. Dru opened her mouth to protest but, without meaning to, Kit fell into a fit of giggles. “What’s so funny, Herondale? Do you think I’m joking?”

“You think I… Dru…” Kit tried to gasp out, but every time, he lapsed into laughter again. Dru snorted, then started cackling too. “God, Julian… Dru’s just my friend! I would never…”

“Oh, am I not good enough for you, your highness?” Dru challenged. They glanced at each other and dissolved into laughter again. “Not high-born enough? Too human?”

Julian looked between the two, anger slowly fading into confusion and finally reluctant understanding. He stepped back from Kit as his parental protectiveness faded, heaving a relieved sigh as he realised how deeply he’d misunderstood. Ty kept frowning at Kit, a furrow in his brow, and behind him, his twin’s ghost was giggling too. Julian pulled Dru up and into a hug, meeting Kit’s eyes over her head, flushing slightly.

“Uh, maybe you should forget I made that threat.” Julian cleared his throat. “Anyway, Alec asked me to come up and get you. The other Centurions are here.” Kit groaned. “You know them – Divya Joshi, Anush’s cousin and Diego’s friend, and Jaime Reyes.” Dru cheered at Julian’s words. “They want to meet you properly. They’re waiting for you in the library. If you’re going to teleport, please take Ty with you, or Alec will put you in a headlock again.”

Kit offered Ty his hand, a grin on his face as the other boy grabbed his hand. “Hold on tight, Ty.” With a flash of light, the two disappeared.

Kit and Ty reappeared in another flash of light just outside the library. Ty stumbled as they appeared and Kit steadied him, uncomfortably aware that the teleportation affected people’s balance or stomach the first few times – it was why he chose outside the library rather than inside. Ty shrugged him off quickly, Kit swallowed the sting of hurt at the action, and swung the doors open.

When Kit stepped into the library after Ty, the conversation between the other three Centurions stopped. Divya stared at him from beside her cousin, a frown creasing her pretty face. Jaime, on the other hand, had a lazy smirk on his face, looking unfairly attractive in his uniform – thought Kit would always prefer Ty’s cool beauty to Jaime’s bright and lazy look.

“I knew there was something strange and powerful about you, blondie.” Jaime grinned toothily at him, winking cheekily. “I told you so when I met you in Devon, didn’t I? I feel vindicated!”

“You did tell me I was weird,” Kit offered, laughing at the memory of helping Jaime at Becky Falls. “I don’t recall powerful being said… You simply asked if all Herondales were as weird as Jace and I.” Jaime grinned and Kit turned to Divya, inclining his head in greeting. “Hi, I’m Kit Herondale, nice to officially meet you. King Kieran speaks highly of your choice to free him and battle against the Cohort in the Scholomance.” She nodded back, a modest flush colouring her cheeks.

“Anush has briefed us on what he knows of your magic, of the current situation and of your… resistance to being guarded.” Divya spoke in the same way as Diego, authoritative, in a voice that could probably be heard over the sounds of a battle.

Kit had the decency to flush in embarrassment – he wasn’t exactly proud of his outburst. “I’m not used to being monitored constantly; I value my independence. Even when I visit the Unseelie Court, I’m not guarded every second.” Divya raised an eyebrow and Kit sighed. “For what it is worth, I’m sorry for my earlier outburst, Anush. It’s no excuse but I’ve been running and hiding for years to protect myself and those I love. Despite that, it has still come to this – I’m a little… stressed?” Kit offered and Anush nodded.

“Can we get a display of your powers?” Divya asked, and Kit raised an eyebrow. “Teleportation, light manipulation… anything else?”

“There’s a few other things, but quite a lot of my power is dependent on emotion, I can’t really display it unless I’m in actual need.” Kit shrugged then grinned wildly. “Light manipulation…” Kit mused, flicking his wrist so curls of light spun around the room in a dizzying display. Ty closed his eyes to prevent the lights overstimulating him, but the other three watched on with awe. Kit winked at Jaime and solidified the lights into ropes that tied tightly around all four Centurions. All of them yelled in shock as the shimmering lights of rope tightened. “Not just a pretty light show. I can turn it solid. See ya!”

Kit turned to walk out of the room, trying not to laugh at the sounds of frustration and struggle against the bindings. As he walked out, he let the bindings around Jaime drop so the other boy could jog after him. He caught up to Kit in no time, breathless with laughter. Kit ducked into one of the empty rooms, dragging Jaime with him.

“So, you finally told the others about being the First Heir?” Jaime’s voice was more serious than Kit had ever heard it. “I was beginning to worry I’d be lying for you forever.” Jaime pulled Kit into a hug, before stepping away and ruffling Kit’s hair. “I told Diego I already knew. He yelled at me.”

“I’m sorry Jaime. I know it wasn’t fair for me to ask you to keep it a secret from him. Ended up not mattering anyway, I still got kidnapped.” Jaime just sighed and ruffled his hair again.

With a sad smile, Kit gripped Jaime’s arm and teleported him to the greenhouse. The greenhouse was quiet and almost empty, bar Ash, who waved at them. He was curled up Kit’s favourite tree, leaning against the knurled trunk with a crown of the tree’s bright red flowers in his hair.

“Hey Ash.” Kit bit back a grin, tugging at his own hair. “Is Max here?” Ash nodded, the young warlock loved making Ash look more fey though flower crowns or braids. “Look who else is here!”

“Ahh, our other witness is now here to witness a new fucking mess for us. Fun.” Ash laughed, grabbing Jaime’s hand and pulling until he was sprawled on the ground. “At least we like this Centurion.”

The three of them sprawled on the ground under the tree, Kit and Ash using magic to send flowers flying through the air as they talked. Jaime was watching them, amusement and concern warring on his face as they caught each other up on what had happened since they’d last seen each other, carefully avoiding talking about the elephant in the room. Eventually, Jaime let out an exhausted sigh.

“Diego told us about the blood pledges.” Jaime’s voice was strained, almost like he was holding back tears, but Kit knew it was just the fear for him. “He gave Divya the basic run down, but after he found out I’d already known, he told me the full truth. About what Kieran said.”

“About how I’ll probably die trying to stop her plan?” Jaime nodded and Kit felt the panic building again, and both Ash and Jaime leaned over to comfort him, Jaime ruffling his hair and Ash gripping his hand. “Yeah, puts a downer on the fun magic, huh?”

Kit knew the two of them could hear the hysteria in his voice. Both of them shifted closer and pulled him into a group hug as the panic built to a crescendo and made him start to shiver. Kit didn’t resist the hug, knowing part of the panic he felt was Ash’s, plus he could feel Jaime shaking. Before he could stop it, he began to shake with sobs.

Kit collapsed into their hug, burying his head into Ash’s shoulder, completely losing control of his careful mask. Ash held him tightly and Jaime was rubbing soothing circles on his back until the panic began to fade and Kit felt he could breathe again. After a few deep breaths, he sat back and rubbed his face.

“Sorry, I’m still processing it. I haven’t really been alone while awake for long enough to actually, you know…” Kit managed a shaky laugh and the others grinned.

“Not to return to the most depressing topic ever, but will you know when she’s getting close? Or will you only know when she’s got them all?” Jaime’s tone as careful, like he was afraid Kit was going to fall apart again. “And exactly how bad would it be?”

“Very fucking bad.” Ash answered, rubbing his thumb over Kit’s knuckles, a trick he knew would help calm Kit. “We’d probably be able to sense it earlier if we used our magic more, but Adaon is likely to know first.”

Kit sighed and slumped back against the tree. “I’ve been using my magic more these days, so I might know before you.” Ash raised an eyebrow at him and Kit looked away awkwardly. Kit made a habit of telling Ash everything, so him not knowing felt wrong. “When I went back to the Unseelie Court last time, before the parabatai ceremony, Adaon made me practice a lot so I could protect us more effectively.”

To demonstrate his control, Kit created a shimmering image of the Unseelie Court’s tower, surrounded by the wall of thorns that was dotted with blood red roses. Ash sat up straighter, eyes wide with admiration as he took in the detail of the creation. Jaime whistled in admiration, running a finger directly above one of the roses – which had been an accidental creation of Kit’s during a sparring match with Adaon, the power had exploded from him after Kit drained himself in the fight.

The image flickered and Kit doubled over with a gasp. Shocks of pain stabbed at his chest and stomach, and a wave of dizziness washed over him. Kit’s vision faded in and out and he groaned. The floor seemed to heave and he accidentally let go of the magic, which dissolved with a flash that blinded Jaime and Ash. Ash staggered and collapsed, gasping in part from the pain that flowed through the bond, but then his own pain doubled.

“Adaon…” Kit managed to gasp, feeling like every breath was killing him. “Get Adaon.” With another pained gasp, Kit collapsed.

“Weren’t you getting Adaon?” Kit heard Ash ask, and Kit couldn’t help but notice that Ash’s words were slurred. Kit felt a warm hand on his brow and the unmistakable warmth of Tessa’s magic fill him. “Not that getting his mum was a bad idea, it’s just… he asked for Adaon.”

“He was unconscious too; Magnus is with him now.” Jaime answered, clearly worried. Kit groaned and opened his eyes to see all three of them staring down at him – green, brown and grey eyes all filled with worry. “Oh, thank fu – I mean…”

“I’m raising this one,” Tessa smiled at Kit, “I’ve heard plenty of cursing in the past three years. Don’t worry about swearing in front of me.”

“Love you too, Mum.” Kit managed to roll his eyes and he pulled on Ash’s arm until Ash pulled Kit into a sitting position. “I’m careful around Min-Min.”

Tessa kissed his forehead before pulling away with her ‘you’ve said something dumb’ smile, and another wave of her warm magic gave Kit a flash of energy. Kit struggled to his feet and turned to face Ash, taking in his parabatai’s grey-green complexion. Jaime looked between the two, worry clear in his eyes. Before Jaime could start grilling them about what happened, Kit spoke.

“You felt it too, right? The wave of… wrongness?” Ash nodded at Kit’s words, eyes wide and terrified. “It’s why I wanted Adaon, rather than Mum.” Tessa ran her hand through Kit’s hair. “It could… it might be your mother?”

“Given Adaon passed out too and I felt the same wrongness…” Ash’s voice faltered on the word, “I’d have to say you’re probably right.”

Chapter Text

The library was chaotic by the time Kit and Ash, supported by Tessa and Jaime, made it there. Kit was unable to access his magic at all. The whole adult population of the New York Institute was there – from Magnus to Diego – but none of the kids were there, thankfully.

Adaon, Mark and Helen all looked exhausted, the same pained and drained look that Kit knew was reflected in him and Ash. Mark and Adaon were both on the four-seater couch and Helen was leaning heavily against Aline behind them. Adaon gave a small gesture that told Kit he was expected to sit with them. Ash followed Kit as he stepped between the gathered shadowhunters, and both of them gratefully sunk down into the cushions. Jaime joined the other Centurions, who were staring at Kit with an unsurprising intensity. Tessa went over to Jem and leant into him, watching Kit with all the world’s sorrow in her eyes.

Adaon’s fingers found Kit’s wrist, and Kit was startled by how cold the prince’s fingers were, they were as cold as ice. Kit glanced over at him and it was scary to see that it wasn’t just pain in his eyes – it was the same fear that Kit felt. Even Ash was sitting closer than he needed to, shoulder pressed against his. It was the only sign Ash gave that he was shaken by what happened. He needed the reassurance that he was not alone in this.

Alec looked between the Unseelie prince and the four part-fey, concern in his eyes. “What exactly happened?” His voice was cool and calming, but Kit could hear the worry hidden in his voice. “Prince Adaon passed out very suddenly, and Mark and Helen are both in pain. From what I understand from Tessa, Kit also passed out and Ash was acting strange, as if he were drunk.”

Adaon tensed and pursed his lips, clearly unwilling to speculate on the cause – Kit knew he preferred definite facts. Mark wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes, even Ty’s, and he was clearly still feeling the pain from before. He was curled into a ball, as if he could hide from the feeling. Helen just stayed in the circle of her wife’s arms, looking half-asleep. Kit was sure both Blackthorns had understood exactly how bad it was. Ash had turned his body to face Kit, clearly broadcasting that he expected Kit to speak.

“I can’t really be sure, but it felt…” Kit’s voice cracked as another wave of pain hit them. He felt Ash flinch and heard both Adaon and Mark suck in a pained breath. “It’s like the air feels wrong, like there isn’t enough oxygen and I can’t breathe.” Kit hated the way everyone was staring at him; it was like the air was choking him again. “Fey magic is dependent on the balance inherent in nature,” Kit felt like he was reciting from one of Adaon’s lessons, “so if the Queen’s getting ready to complete the spell, nature would be unbalanced. It would warp magic in most fey – kind of like what the blight did to warlocks but more twisted – rather than a slow, painful drain of magic, the warp just cuts you off from nature… Adaon has the most power, so he was the worst affected.”

Magnus swore under his breath and Tessa stilled in the circle of Jem’s arms. Alec and Jace both look shell shocked and worried – like they were remembering their own brush with Armageddon. After a long, uncomfortable silence, Ash cleared his throat, breaking everyone’s trance like stillness.

“Who was with Adaon when he passed out?” Jace gestured at himself and Alec, and Ash faced them with a frown. “Did he say anything when he was out? Because as the pain began to hit me, Kit was muttering in a language that sounded like Faerie, but I couldn’t understand it.”

Jace frowned and shrugged. “He did say something, but we don’t speak any Faerie so… What did Kit say, roughly?” Jace knew he could rely on Ash’s ability to mimic; he had an incredible memory and could mimic the exact manner of a person’s speech.

Ash said something that did sound rather like an archaic version of Faerie. The best way Kit could describe it was using medieval English to a modern American – there were vague similarities but only a few words really translated. Kit didn’t know any of the old Faerie languages, but there was a tug in his mind – the feeling of something being eerily familiar. Jace nodded, confirming Adaon said something similar.

“That is a very ancient language, it was already old when Mannan walked among us. I do not speak it, and I cannot think of anyone other than the Riders who would be able speak it, besides scholars specialised in ancient Faerie. It may have been an effect of the spell.” Adaon looked unnerved and Kit couldn’t help but agree. “I did recognise one word, it’s a very old name for…”

“Mannan.” Kit didn’t mean to speak, but the memory of why the language felt so familiar hit him and his blood ran cold. “It’s an old name for Mannan, right?” Adaon nodded and Kit felt goose bumps crawl up his arms. “A few nights ago, I had a dream where I heard that language – though now I wonder if it was a warning…”

“It could be a prophetic dream.” Magnus spoke quietly and Kit turned to him. “Many warlocks have them, and Clary gets them too. I’ve had quite a lot recently, as has Max. Ours tend to be warnings hidden in riddles. What happened in yours?”

Kit couldn’t stop the scared laugh that escaped him. “There was nothing subtle about my dream. The Seelie Queen was surrounded by ancient creatures, Mannan accused me of causing his children’s deaths, and then he reached down and crushed me to death in his hand.” Kit knew he was shaking but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “I had this dream the night before we discussed the pledges – I’ve had little time to think about it, otherwise I would have mentioned it to Adaon. I was reminded now because Mannan spoke in the same language but I understood it.”

“You understood Mannan in the dream, despite being in the ancient language?” At Kit’s confirmation, Adaon frowned, clearly thoughtful. “Perhaps it is your heritage? Else, the dream was to warn you, the magic that sent it may have allowed you to understand?”

Kit just shrugged and the room feel silent for a long moment. Kit turned away from Adaon to face the other shadowhunters in the room. When he caught Jace’s eye he was surprised to see fear in his cousin’s face – fear for Kit. Jace kept glancing over at Kit as Alec dismissed the group, ordering that those with fey blood not be left alone. When the group broke up and started to move away, Jace and Clary came over, helping both Ash and Kit to stand. Jace was shaking slightly, unnoticeable until he touched Kit and Kit nudged him playfully.

“Jace, I’m fine.” Kit murmured, and Jace scoffed. Killed rolled his eyes and tried to force a grin. “Puh-lease, if you, Clary or Magnus freaked out and made a scene with every nightmare, you’d never stop panicking!” Jace didn’t look mollified, so Kit kept going. “Ever since I started using my powers, I’ve had really vivid nightmares. At least one nightmare a week is me dying in some dramatic, traumatising way.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Jem had joined them while Kit spoke. Kit couldn’t see Tessa, so he assumed Mina needed something. “Unless you told Tessa, you’ve kept this hidden from us.”

“Mum warned me that waking my powers could cause horrid dreams. Once I wake up, I just want to forget them – most of the time, I get killed by someone I know. You, Jace or the Blackthorns, normally. It used to be Kieran too, but when Kieran accepted me as family, the dreams about him stopped, for some reason.”

There were several sharp intakes of breath, more than Kit expected, and he looked up and met the hurt gazes of Julian, Mark, Dru and Ty. Kit had to bite back the apologies on the tip of his tongue. It wasn’t something he had to apologise for, but the horror dawning on Julian and Mark’s faces made that fact hard to remember.

“Oh god.” Mark looked sick and it made Kit feel worse. “You’ve dreamed about us murdering you?” His voice was pained and Kit felt his throat tighten. “What did we do…?” His voice broke and he cleared his throat. “Did we do something to make you fear us? Is that why you left?”

“No!” Kit reassured quickly, but they didn’t look convinced. “I don’t fear you, all you did was be kind and care about me. The dreams are my mind trying to convince me no one cares.” Kit sighed, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. “I didn’t… I don’t fear or hate you – I thought you hated me actually.”

Even though he still looked shaken, Julian put a hand on Kit’s shoulder. “You need rest. We can, and will, talk about this later.” Julian’s voice was soft but serious. “But seriously, we do not hate you. At all.”

Jaime had chased the other Centurions away the moment they’d tried to take guard duty, settling in Kit’s room as Kit lay shaking on his bed. Pain came in waves, causing Kit to hiss or groan and Jaime would just calmly draw an iratze on his arm. The runes disappeared quickly, after what felt that seconds but was more like 15 minutes. After about an hour of misery, Ash had convinced Clary to let them suffer together. Jaime had simply smiled at Clary and rearranged the room so they could watch a movie.

“Your nightmares…” Jaime’s voice was gentle, “have you seen me or Ash kill you?” Ash flinched, like the words alone hurt him. “Because you know we’d never intentionally hurt you, right?”

“If I know you, you’ve killed me in a dream.” Kit shrugged. “Just like with Jem, Jace and Alec, knowing you would never do it doesn’t stop it, actually seems to make it worse. I’m just… I’m okay, I promise.”

Ash pulled him into a loose hug, watching the dumb comedy in comfortable silence for a while, then a loud knock cut through the silence. Jaime raised an eyebrow at Kit, who just shrugged. He couldn’t guess who was at the door, unless it was Tessa or Jem, but they normally walked in after announcing themselves since Kit would lock the door when he didn’t want company.

“I’m not falling for the doorknob zap again!” Dru. Kit grinned and gestured for Jaime to open the door. “Fool me once!” She declared as she strolled in, stopping and flushing red when she realised Kit wasn’t alone. “Oh, hey!”

“Couldn’t do the magic trick this time, it wouldn’t be worth the energy.” Kit grinned, but flinched when a spike of pain hit him. Ash gasped, feeling the same spike of pain. “Anyway, what’s up?”

Dru flinched, clearly uncomfortable. “Kit, I…”

“No.” Kit sighed. “No apologies or feeling guilty. It’s not your fault.” Dru protested but Kit grabbed her hand. “Dru, seriously… I’m dealing with a bunch of hang-ups from being raised by an abusive fuck like Johnny Rook – one is the idea that no one could actually care. The dreams are just manifestations of that – if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s his.”

Dru sunk into Kit’s bed by their knees, still looking shaking. “I can’t imagine facing us after seeing us kill you in your dreams. I’d be afraid of everyone if I kept…” Kit poked her in the ribs and she yelped, swatting his hand. “I’m trying to be serious, you ass.”

“I’m fine, I see a therapist to deal with it all. Plus, Tessa and Jem make sure I feel loved.” Kit shrugged, knowing he was being flippant about it, but he was truly no longer stuck in the dreams. “I promise – Ash, have you felt anything like that?”

“No…” Ash frowned, touching the parabatai rune and focusing on the bond. “I can feel your nightmares occasionally, but rarely. Right now, there’s nothing.”

Kit gestured as if to say ‘see’, before immediately curling into a ball with a groan, a sharp pain hitting right between his ribs and stealing his breath. With a frustrated sigh Jaime pulled Kit’s arm toward him, drawing the rune and doing the same for Ash a moment later. Dru looked worried but Kit poked her between the eyes teasingly.

“Don’t worry, the pain isn’t too bad, the runes just aren’t lasting long. Is Mark doing okay?” Kit tried to smile but he wasn’t sure it looked genuine. “Is this affecting Helen much?”

“They’re not as bad as you two – Helen’s kind of sore and sleepy, and Mark is very uncomfortable.”

They readjusted themselves on the bed so that Dru was squeezed between Kit and Ash, with Jaime perched on the bedside table. The watched the movie for a little while, with Dru pouting that it was a bad comedy rather than a bad horror. It was oddly comfortable, the four of them sitting together. Another knock echoed but the door swung immediately to reveal Tessa with two shimmering glasses of a green potion. She saw them all huddled together and smiled warmly.

“How did I know you would both be here?” She held the glasses out to Ash and Kit. “Drink, it’s a faerie-friendly pain potion. It’s helped Adaon, and Magnus is giving some to Mark and Helen now. Non-permanent runes are fading quickly from all part-fey, Alec’s been getting reports.”

Kit and Ash both down the potions quickly, and all the pain filtered. They both let out relieved sighs, and Tessa ruffled both of their hair and sat on the edge of the bed. She had her ‘mum’ expression on, and Kit straightened up – she only had that face on when she was stressed.

“Kit, love, have I ever told you about how we defeated Mortmain in the end?” Kit frowned and shook his head – he’d heard many stories about Tessa’s troubles in London, but never this one. “We nearly lost, we would have lost, but I Changed… Into Ithuriel, the angel that was trapped in my clockwork angel necklace. I burned him with heavenly fire, but collapsed, bleeding ichor. The Change should have killed me, nearly did kill me. If you had asked anyone if Changing into an angel would be survivable, they would have laughed at you, but I survived.” Tessa stressed the words, her eyes drilling into Kit’s soul. “I’m not saying there wasn’t consequences, it’s why I don’t Change often anymore, it hurts to do it. But I survived the un-survivable.”

“You’re talking about the fact I might die stopping the Seelie Queen’s plans?” Kit couldn’t meet Tessa’s eyes – he’d honestly been trying so hard to ignore the fact that his current pain was a precursor to his potential death. “Mum, I know you’re trying to say I might not die, that I need to have hope. But I can’t. I need to come to terms with it, I need you to come to terms with it, otherwise I…” Kit’s voice cracked and he needed to take a deep breath. “I’d rather expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised, than hope for the best and… well, I wouldn’t be disappointed, I’d be dead.” He tried to be matter-of-fact, but he felt a stab of hurt through his bond with Ash, and Tessa looked absolutely broken. Dru and Jaime wouldn’t look at him. “I don’t have to deal with after, but knowing you, Dad, Mina and Ash… knowing you’re all okay…” Kit stopped when Tessa pulled him into a hug, and he realised he was crying. He buried his face in her shoulder and allowed himself to break. “I just… I can’t believe I won’t get to see Mina grow up!”

Tessa just held him as he broke into pieces, sobbing as the reality of his mortality hit him. Dru and Jaime had slipped out of the room at some point, and Ash shifted so that he was pressed up against Kit’s side, his warmth a comfort to Kit. Tessa just pulled Ash into the hug too, and Kit could feel him shaking. After a few minutes, the three of them calmed down and Kit pulled back. He didn’t pull away, staying in the circle of their arms. Both Tessa and Ash had tears on their faces, and Kit scrubbed at his eyes.

“I’m sorry… I know it’s probably harder for you to deal with then me.” Kit’s voice was tiny, vulnerable. “I just… trying to pretend to be positive isn’t helping.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I just don’t want to think about losing another child.” Tessa smiled sadly, smoothing his hair and kissing his forehead. “We’ll all be fine, even if it doesn’t feel like it at first – you’ll be missed for the rest of our lives, but we will survive.”

“Plus, I’ll make sure they’re alright. What else are parabatai for?” Ash grinned, but the grin faded almost immediately. “I won’t give up hope, no matter what.” Ash gave him a look that said ‘I dare you to tell me not to’.

“Fine.” Kit shoved him with his shoulder and Ash laughed softly. “Just promise me you’ll try to accept the probability of me dying. You can hold onto the hope, just accept the chance.” They both nodded and Kit relaxed into them, even though Kit knew he still had to talk to Jem and Jace about it. After a few moments of silence, Tessa stood with a sigh and went to the door. “Mum, can you not talk to Dad about this? I want to do it.” Tessa nodded and opened the door. “Oh, and Mum? I love you.” That got a blinding smile.

Talking to Jace was the next plan for Kit. After a little while longer with Ash and Dru, Kit asked Jaime to tag along as he searched for his cousin. Kit checked pretty much everywhere he knew Jace would lurk when he was stressed. Library? Empty. Training room? Emma and Julian sparring, Cristina and Mark reclining nearby observing, no Jace. After a moment of thought, Kit spun and headed to the music room. The hunch proved fruitful; the tinkling of the piano was audible from the hallway.

“Hey Jaime, this probably won’t be fun.” Kit spoke quietly, and Jaime nodded. “Can you stay out here?”

Before Jaime took up a guard post, he gripped Kit’s shoulder comfortingly. Kit knocked and went in, unsurprising to find that Jace wasn’t alone. Alec was curled up on a bench with Rafe in his arms and a book propped open, as Jace absently played the piano, just random keys rather than an actual song. All three looked up as Kit came in, concern clear in both adults’ eyes. Rafe wiggled free of his dad and ran over, tugging Kit’s arm excitedly.

“Dad and Tio Jace are worried about you.” Rafe said matter-of-factly, and both of them paled. “They try talk quiet, but I know what they whisper.”

Kit laughed. “I worry everyone, Rafe. It’s nothing new.” Rafe relaxed and Alec mouthed ‘thank you’ over Rafe’s head, pulling the kid into his arms. “But I do need to talk to Jace, alone, if possible?”

“After, can we play?” Rafe struggled against Alec’s arms and gave Kit a grumpy look. “You promised you’d teach me that video game last time and you haven’t yet.”

“Maybe tomorrow, Rafe.” Kit smiled. “I got hurt earlier, and my mum would yell at me if I didn’t rest.” He pouted but nodded. “Thanks, Rafe. I promise I’ll play soon.” The little boy skipped away.

“Are you okay, Kit?” Alec fixed him with a look and Kit raised an eyebrow at him. “You look pale, scared. If you want to talk to Jace alone, okay – but…”

“It’s… probably better that you stay.” Kit muttered after a minute, but Alec hesitated, like he wasn’t sure Kit was serious. “It’s about what’s happening, about the fey magic.”

“O…kay?” Jace gave him a strange look, a mix of apprehension and confusion.

“You’re both understand that this means the thing Kieran spoke about is starting, right?” Both nodded. “And you remember he said I might die stopping it?” Jace froze and his eyes went blank, emotionless. Alec sighed deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I just wanted to…”

“You aren’t gonna die!” Jace exploded, shooting to his feet and gripping Kit’s arms roughly. “Don’t think like that! It’s not going to happen!”

“Jace, calm.” Alec’s voice was hard and Jace took a step away from Kit with a super long exhale, collapsing into the piano stool again. “Why bring this up?”

“Because if, if, I die, I wouldn’t be able to pass on with the knowledge that everyone is hurting and can’t get closure.” Jace went to speak and Kit grabbed Jace’s wrist. “I’m not saying you can’t stay positive or have hope, I just need you to accept that it’s more likely than not that I will not survive.”

 “I won’t!” Jace growled. “I will never accept that.”

“Jace…” Alec sighed, grabbing Jace’s shoulders and forcing him to face him. “Kit isn’t asking you to be okay with his death if he dies, he’s asking to talk about it so it’s not worse for you, should the worst happen, right?” He raised an eyebrow at Kit, like he was begging for Kit to agree. “You’re not asking him not to grieve you, right?”

“By the Angel, no! I don’t want to die, I’m just… Jace, if I die, I don’t want you to spend ages angsting over it, blaming yourself, trying to figure out how I might have been saved. No Herondale guilt, I’ve heard too many Herondale ghosts’ angst over not saving their friends, their family.” Kit met Jace’s eyes and pulled a face, and Jace softened, pulling Kit into a crushing hug. “Alec, can I actually speak to Jace alone now? There are a few things…”

“Sure, but Kit…” Kit hummed and Alec reached over to tousle his hair. “For whatever its worth, I really, really hope you don’t even get hurt.” With his awkward grin, he left the room.

Kit pulled away from Jace, pushing him back onto the piano stool and perching beside him. “For the sake of saying it all out loud – I’m pansexual, I’ve been in love with Ty for years, and I’m so glad I got to know you.”

Jace let out a sound like a laugh crossed with a sob. “First, what the hell is pansexual? Is it gay deluxe? Second, way to state the fucking obvious. And third, you’re stuck with me now, you’ll forever be my baby cousin.”

“Thanks.” Kit put as much sass in the single word as possible and Jace chuckled again. “I know I’m not exactly the best shadowhunter, and that I complain whenever you try to train me, but…”

“I know being my cousin probably sucks – being related to a big name always does.” Jace’s voice shook and he took a deep breath. “You know I am really proud of you, right?”

“I won’t tell you that I didn’t resent you at first.” Kit nudged Jace with his knee. “But you turned out to be worth it.”

They sat in silence for a while, comfortable at first, but the mood in the room grew darker and Jace seemed to deflate. There was a lost look in his eyes, like he was trying to figure out what he could say to Kit to make Kit understand why he couldn’t let it go. Kit watched as he played with the piano keys silently.

“Please don’t give up on living – Kieran might be wrong.” His voice was barely audible and Kit got the distinct feeling that if Kit contradicted him, he might fall apart. “I nearly gave up when Sebastian was controlling me, I tried to give myself up to the Clave, who would have killed me. Clary stopped me, even though it kept me tied to the jackass. If I had given up, maybe things wouldn’t have gotten as bad as they did. But, if I’d given up, I’d never have gotten engaged, never have freed Jem from being a Silent Brother, never met Tessa, and I wouldn’t have met you.”

“Tessa also told me not to lose hope, but that’s not my point. I’m not giving up, I promise.” Jace raised an eyebrow. “If we keep pretending that I won’t die, and I do, you’ll all be hurt with no avenue for closure. If I don’t, it’s lose nothing, gain nothing. If we acknowledge the probability, we’ve had this conversation and you know I love you. If I survive, you keep me and you know what you mean to me. We lose nothing by acknowledging the chance I’ll die.”

“Okay?”

“I want you to be okay, and I know we don’t usually talk about soft things, but I need you to understand. I’m pretending it won’t affect me, but it could – it’d be something that might stop me from passing on, I can’t imagine being able to rest easy if you were all hurting so badly.  It hurt Ash to talk about this too, and I won’t make either of you give up the hope I’ll be fine, but don’t pretend my life is guaranteed.” Jace opened his mouth to protest but Kit continued. “You can’t put your head in the sand about this, Jace! We’re shadowhunters! Our lives are danger.”

“I just wish our family didn’t always have to suffer.” Jace sounded exhausted, way older than he was. “I really hoped you would be spared.”

“When he’s being serious, Will says that we tend to bring the suffering on ourselves because we care too much and trust to little.” Kit mused and Jace snorted. “But, yeah, I wish we didn’t always suffer.”

“Are you… look, you seem like you’re handling it well, but are you?” Jace nudged him with his shoulder.

“Hell no, I’m terrified of dying! I hate that I have to come to terms with the fact that I won’t see you and Clary or Simon and Izzy get married. That I won’t see Min-Min grow up.” Kit groaned, leaning into him. “But I’d rather address the feeling rather than bury it.”

Chapter Text

Kit found out later that Alec had been hovering by the door like a nervous mother hen the whole time that Jace and Kit were talking. Kit definitely got it. It wasn’t fun to know that your parabatai was suffering when there was nothing you could do – even now, there was a hollow pit in Kit’s stomach, despair and hurt that didn’t belong to him. So, Kit understood that Alec ducking straight back into the music room meant that Jace probably wasn’t as okay as Kit had hoped.

Jaime kept glancing over at Kit as they walked back to Kit’s room. “Kit, I…” He looked uncomfortable before stopping suddenly and making Kit turn to face him. “I don’t get how you’re being so calm. It’s not even happening to me and I’m terrified for you.”

“God, do I really seem calm?” Kit laughed, but the laugh came out a touch hysterical. He leant again the hallway’s wall and ran his fingers through his hair roughly. “Jaime, I’ve had two emotional breakdowns, sobbed like a child and had multiple people think I actually want to die. I just don’t want to freak anyone out more!” Kit’s vision swam, and he tried to take a deep breath but it came as a gasp. He slid down the wall, trying to swallow the panic, gripping at his hair like a lifeline, the pain grounding him momentarily. “I need to talk to Jem. I have to figure out how to explain it to Mina and I just… And that’s only my family, am I meant to talk to Clary, Simon, Izzy? The Blackthorns? To Adaon? How bad is it going to be if I don’t?” Kit felt like there was a compression bandage squeezing all the air from his lungs – breathing hurt, not breathing hurt. Everything hurt. “Do I need to talk to Ty? He made that spectral sensor, is it weird to say I’ll drop in and visit him as a ghost?” Kit’s ears were ringing and felt dizzy, so he closed his eyes. His skin felt like it was burning, his clothes itched. “Rafe knows something is up and I promised to teach him a game – is he going to hate me or have trust issues because of me?”

“Kit!” Cold hands gripped his hands roughly, rubbing his knuckles. It sounded like it was not the first time he’d called his name. Kit opened his eyes and realised it wasn’t Jaime in front of him anymore. It was Ty, rubbing Kit’s hands like Kit and Livvy had both done for Ty in the past. “Can you hear me now?” Ty’s voice was soft and Kit nodded. Ty gave him a small smile, leaning back and dropping his hands – Kit felt the loss like a punch. “If you want to talk, we can. If you want to visit me as a ghost, I’d be happy about that too – even if I cannot see you.” Kit groaned and curled into himself. God, he wished anyone but Ty had found him. “Rafael understands death, he’d understand. And I’m sure Jules and the others would be happy to talk, but they’d understand if it’s too hard for you.”

Jaime lifted a hand in farewell and melted into the shadows, and Kit’s heart skipped. Now it was just him and Ty – who was helping Kit to his feet and kept a hand on the small of Kit’s back. Oh god, Kit was still so gone for Ty. He still felt raw from the panic attack and to have Ty near him, let alone touching him, was too much. His skin seemed to burn where Ty touched him, and Kit both loved and hated it. Ty helped him the rest of the way to his room.

Ty hovered by Kit’s bed as Kit collapsed onto it. “Kit, I… I heard most of what you said.” Ty looked like he wasn’t sure what to say. “Kieran fears you might die in the attempt to stop her, he didn’t say it was assured.”

“I know. That’s not why I’m talking about this.” Kit’s voice was raspy from his panic attack and Ty frowned, pouring Kit a glass of water and passing it to him. “Livvy! I have a dead person question.” She popped into existence beside Ty and grinned at Kit. “If you knew there was a chance that you were going to die before it happened, would you have done things differently? Told your siblings how much you loved them?”

Livvy smiled sadly and nodded. “I’d definitely be doing the same as you.” Her voice was echoey and she reached out as if to cup his cheek. “On that point, you need to tell him properly, Kit. And if you do die, I expect you to come and hang out with me.” With those parting words, she disappeared.

“Tell me what properly?” Ty frowned at Kit, and Kit flinched. “Or does she mean someone else?”

“I love you.” Kit closed his eyes; he could not bear to watch Ty’s face as he said it.

“I know, you told me the other day you were…”

“No, Ty, I am in love with you. Like I am currently in love with you. I will be in love with you until the day I die, and long after that. Herondales only fall in love once and that is you for me. It’s why being around you is so hard.” Silence. After an excruciating thirty seconds, Kit opened his eyes and peeked at Ty, shocked to see tears on his face. “I don’t expect that you… I don’t need a response.” The other boy just rubbed at his eyes weakly. “Ty?”

“Why?” His voice was small, unsure. It hurt Kit to hear Ty like that. Ty dropped onto the bed next to Kit limply. “I don’t get why you, of all people, love me, of all people.”

“I told you once that I liked you because no one or nothing gets forgotten with you – you can tell me everything down to the barest detail on something. And your eyes! Hell, you held a knife to my throat the first time we met and all I could think of was how beautiful you are. Even when you appear in my nightmares, I’m just glad to see you again. I am so desperately, undeniably, hopelessly in love with you.” Kit reached out, touching Ty’s cheek softly. “I love being in love with you, even though it hurts.” Kit brushed his hand down Ty’s face, resting against his neck. “If dying meant saving you, I wouldn’t even hesitate.”

“I don’t want you to die.” Ty looked distressed and leant into Kit’s hand like Church would with Jem. “Please don’t tell me this then leave – don’t do this to me again. You can’t keep telling me you love me and then leaving me.”

Kit leant his forehead against Ty’s, not saying a word. He wasn’t going to make empty promises, he wasn’t going to lie. Kit considered for a moment, before deciding fuck it, he would deal with the consequences. He leant forward and brushed his lips against Ty’s for the barest second. When Kit pulled away, Ty stared at him shell-shocked. Kit smiled sadly.

“Sorry, I just… felt like I had to.” Kit pulled fully away from Ty, not touching at all. “You don’t need to say anything back. But, uh…” Kit shrugged. “Maybe one of the others should guard me tonight.”

“Good idea.” Divya was in the doorway, voice sardonic but not cruel. Kit flushed; he hadn’t heard the door open. “We can figure it out after dinner.”

“Nah.” Kit yawned and Divya raised an eyebrow. “I’m not hungry and I’ve had an exhausting day. You can leave me alone. I swear on the Angel I’m not leaving this room – I don’t think I could teleport if I wanted to. I’m just done with people today.” Divya shrugged and gestured for Ty to come with her. “Night.”

Screams. Blood. Monsters. Kit was surrounded by a maelstrom of chaos, and he was utterly alone. He could hear a chant, in Faerie. The Seelie Queen’s words didn’t quite reach him, but he knew the voice, the cadence. He spun around, searching for an exit, for something familiar. Nothing. No one. But then, that same ancient Faerie language that Kit somehow understood cut through the noise around him.

“If you fight, you will lose everything .” Before the words finished echoing, the towering frame of Mannan appeared in front of him. Mannan’s voice wasn’t angry, it actually sounded… sorrowful. “Even if your body or mind survive, your soul will not.” The chaos swirled closer to him, ripping at his hair, his clothes, his skin. A scream was torn from Kit as Mannan pressed a hand to Kit’s left forearm – leaving fiery lines in fey script seared into his skin. “You would be better to die.”

Light poured from him, bathing everything in the golden light of Kit’s power. Kit’s vision doubled, then got fuzzy. The chaos slowly began to disappear and Mannan knelt in front of him as the light continued to burn from him, in him, as him. Kit fell to his knees, gasping, screaming, trying to reign the power in, to turn it off. A sound echoed in his ears, sounding like breaking glass and Kit felt it in his head, like his brain had crystallised and shattered.

“And yet you cannot let her control us.” Mannan tilted Kit’s face up, burning eyes meeting teary eyes. He whispered words that echoed in Kit’s mind, with no clear meaning.

Mannan disappeared and then all of his family and friends were all around him. He was surrounded by them, but the light burning in him kept burning, tearing at him. It made them look fuzzy, like an out of focus camera. Blinking seemed to make it worse, like they were disappearing.

No, they were disappearing. Kit couldn’t see them anymore.

The last part of them he saw was the horror-filled grey eyes of Ty.

Then he blinked again, and he was alone.

He was kneeling on the ground of a park he didn’t recognise, alone. He stared at his hands, only to be horrified as the Voyance rune from all those years ago seemed to shimmer on his skin and disappear.

Everything went white, full of blinding flames.

But Kit wasn’t… dead.

Kit woke up screaming, his left forearm burning and his bedroom filled with blinding light. He curled in on himself, shivering and trying to take calming breaths. When he finally managed to calm down and the light had begun to fade away, Kit realised both Jem and Divya were pinned against the wall with thin whips of light and both were desperately blinking the spots from their vision.

“What happened?” Divya demanded, squinting her eyes as the ropes of light dissolved, freeing them. “Where are you hurt?” Kit shook his head and Divya frowned and gestured at him, her voice strangely gentle. “Kit, you’re bleeding, you are hurt.”

Kit looked down and realised, to his shock, that the burning in his forearm was due to the words seared into his skin, oozing blood sluggishly. He stared in horror at the words – they were the same words Mannan had whispered to him before he’d disappeared in Kit’s dream. It hit him like a truck – Mannan all but told him that Kit was guaranteed to die or, at the very least, be injured or damaged in some way that would render him helpless. Divya traced an iratze on him, frowning as it faded without affecting the wound.

He looked up at Jem and his stomach tightened. “I need Adaon. I don’t care what time it is; I need Adaon.”

“Kit, breathe.” Jem tried to soothe him, but Kit felt gratified to see Divya slip out of the room. “You’re okay…”

“No, no I’m not.” Kit whispered. “Dad I… if my dreams are prophetic, like Magnus thinks… my fate is death or worse.” Jem froze. He knew better than to brush Kit’s words off, he’d spent too much of his youth dying. “I can’t, Dad. I’m… I’m gonna die and I’m terrified.”

Jem took a deep breath and moved to sit beside Kit, putting an arm around him. “I’d think you were a fool if you weren’t scared. As someone who spent a long time waiting to die, let me offer you a little bit of advice.” He sighed deeply and leant against the headboard. “People keep trying to give you hope, trying to force you to stay positive. It’s impossible to be fully prepared, because even if you are at peace, other people will not be. But as frustrating as their denial and fight can be, remember that it is because they love you and do not wish to lose you. Because they need you to be okay for them to be okay. Will used to drive me insane with it, but in the end, he ended up helping me be at peace.” His voice took the same wistful tone it always did when he talked about Will.

“Thanks Dad.” Kit’s voice was barely a whisper. He knew how much Jem hated talking about his time when he was sick.

“I love you, Kit. Regardless of your blood, you are my son and I will never not love you. I hope with everything I have that you survive, but should you pass, I will hold onto your memory as I do Will’s.”

“I love you too, but that’s not… I’m scared that survival is… Dad, what if death is the kinder result?”

Jem hummed thoughtfully. “I understand Will’s side now, I used to say similar things to him, and it would drive him insane. The feeling of helplessness to save you really does hurt.” He pulled Kit closer, and Kit felt a wave of security fall around them. “All I will say is that I really hope you are wrong.”

When Divya got back with Adaon, Jem stood up and left, catching Divya by the arm and pulling her behind him. He whispered something to Adaon as he went and Adaon raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised at Jem’s willingness to leave Kit’s side. He placed a bottle of salve on Kit’s bedside and reached for Kit’s arm, rubbing the stinging salve over the burn. The moment he realised the blood was coming from words burnt into Kit’s skin, he froze. He didn’t say a word, just moving to press his forehead against Kit’s.

After a moment of silence, he pulled back, tears in his eyes. “Oh, little fair one.” He murmured in Faerie, voice sorrowful. “Can you read the words?” At Kit’s shake of the head, Adaon shuddered. “It says ‘With my soul’s light, I guide you home’. It is a very old manner of saying… it means that you will sacrifice your life to return them.”

“It was from Mannan in my dream.” Kit whispered and Adaon tensed, the hand gripping his wristed tightening. “He said I would lose everything to stop her, but that I cannot allow her to control them.” Kit kept speaking in Faerie, very aware that Divya may be listening at the door. “He intimated that even should I survive, my soul would not. I believe he means that should I survive, I will lose my Sight, my magic, my access to the Shadow World.” Adaon shuddered. “And perhaps my sanity.”

Adaon ran his fingers through Kit’s hair comfortingly. “You know, even should you lose your Sight, we will keep you safe. You may not be able to see us, but we will be there.” His voice was strong, sure.

“Thank you, though I doubt the Unseelie will be alone in that – Jace, my parents, Ash. They will not abandon me while I live.” Kit smiled fondly but his mind seemed to burn with anxiety. He couldn’t imagine sleeping but he leant back into his pillows anyway. “The dream, Adaon. Mannan burned the words into my skin and my power just seemed to explode out of me and everyone, all the ancients and monsters, they dissolved in the light. But… but the light just burned through me. By the time the light burned itself away something in me had snapped.” Kit shuddered, remembering the feeling of his mind shattering. “I was surrounded by all of you and you just… disappeared. I could not see you. Then my runes…” Kit was shaking, nausea building in his throat.

“Little one, please.” Adaon whispered as he pulled Kit into a gentle hug. “Do not… I need you to breathe.”

Kit’s laugh sounded more like a sob. “The thought of losing you all and losing a part of myself is so much worse than simply dying.” Over his head, Adaon huffed, half a laugh and half exasperation. “I am lost to you regardless, and if I survive, I will suffer.”

“I am sorry you are to go through this.” Adaon whispered into his hair. He hummed something lowly, Kit felt a wave of warmth and he dropped into sleep.

Chapter Text

Kit woke hours later, with sunlight streaming through the window and a bloodstained bandage carefully wound around his arm. He sat up and tugged at the bandage, shocked that the words were still oozing blood. He pressed a finger to the skin by the wound and hissed when it stung. The skin was covered in the salve that was still by his bed, a salve Kit knew had reduced his wounds to the barest scar before.

“They tried more iratzes, warlock magic and fey salves. Nothing healed it.” Livvy popped into existence beside him, eyes filled with concern. Kit frowned and grabbed the salve, smearing more over the wound. “Why and how did you do that to yourself?”

“I didn’t do it to myself.” Kit murmured, rewrapping the bandage and wincing as the touch stung his wound. “It’s a gift, I guess, from Mannan in my dream. Fey magic is so fucking weird.”

Kit managed to stagger to his feet and get himself ready. He stood in front of the mirror before he put a long-sleeve shirt and he froze. Fuck. A fey line sat glowing over his heart and Kit could not read it. He grabbed a piece of paper and jotted the words down. The lack of reaction from Livvy at the lines of light on his skin made Kit think that maybe they were invisible to her.

“What’s that?” She asked quietly, eyebrows raised.

“You can’t see the words over my heart, can you?” He asked and she shook her head. “It’s the same script as my arm, but it’s written in light, not in blood.” He stared at the words for a second longer, before sighing and pulling the shirt over his head. “Today is going to suck.”

“Why do you say that?” Anush was in the doorframe, with Divya hanging back, frowning at him. “First, I assume you were talking to a ghost?” Kit nodded. “Secondly, Adaon and Tessa weren’t sure you were going to have the energy to come down for lunch.”

“Lunch?” Kit gaped at him. “It’s lunchtime? Jesus, my sleep cycle is fucked.” Kit groaned, earning a laugh from both Centurions. Kit forced a grin and stretched, snatching up the paper and shoving it in his pocket. “I’m coming down. I should probably stop isolating myself, plus I’m starving!”

“Good, we got Taki’s!” Jace dodged around the Centurions, wrapping an arm around Kit’s shoulders and all but dragging him from the room. “Rafe was close to rioting.”

Jace kept speaking the whole time he guided Kit towards the kitchen, talking about everything but the current situation. Lunch was as hyperactive as any he’d ever had involving the Blackthorns. Conversation moved faster than Kit’s still tired mind could keep up with, so rather than attempting to contribute, Kit just allowed himself to relax and watch the body language and facial expressions of those gathered.

If you fight, you will lose everything. Mannan’s voice echoed in Kit’s mind, and he couldn’t prevent the flinch from the words. Pain seared in his arm and Kit swallowed a hiss. With your soul’s light, you will guide us home.

Beside him, Ash shot him a concerned look, likely feeling the spike of pain and anxiety from the bond. Before Ash could ask, Rafe shot over and grabbed Kit’s injured wrist. Kit managed to bite back any reaction to the pain, gently and discretely shifting Rafe’s hand to his. Rafe barely reacted to the shift, choosing instead to give Kit a serious look.

“You promised you’d play.” He stated bluntly. “Can we or…?”

“Rafe, Kit’s still not…” Alec begun but Kit shook his head at him.

“Yeah, let’s do it!” Kit grinned and Rafe bounced on the balls of his feet. “But I won’t be as good this time.” Rafe shrugged and tugged him from the room.

Rafe and Kit had settled quickly with the TV, and Rafe picked the game up quickly. By the time Tavvy and Max came in, Kit was being easily defeated. Kit passed the controller to Tavvy, sitting beside him and showing him how to play too. After a while Kit was able to sit back and watch, occasionally offering either boy some tips on the game. Ty and Ash followed them in as well, watching them silently. Ty was very studiously not looking at Kit, but Kit expected that – he had crossed a line.

After a while, Ash spoke. “Kit.” Rafe groaned when Ash spoke, clearly annoyed. Both Kit and Ash looked at him in shock. “Rafe, I… is it not okay that I’m here? I can go.” Rafe had never been cold to Ash, so the annoyance seemed to sting.

“Anytime someone talks to Kit now, we get sent away.” Rafe grouched, and Kit hurt for him. He remembered how being constantly sent away like that sucked. “We know Kit is hurt, we know something’s happening in Faerie, but no one is telling us more!”

No one seemed to have an answer for him, and both Max and Tavvy were staring over with the same determination in their eyes. They wanted information, to be included. It reminded him of Dru back when he lived with them, too old to not be aware of the situation but too young to be included. The thought made Kit’s mind up for him.

“Rafe,” Kit kept his voice low, calm, “they just don’t want to tell you that, to fix the problem in Faerie, I could die.” The boys froze, staring at Kit in horror. In his peripheral vision, Kit could see both Ty and Ash glaring at him. “And it’s not coz they don’t think you can handle it. It’s because none of them can, they refuse to believe it.”

“Kit! Tavvy doesn’t need to…” Ty growled and Tavvy frowned at him.

“If I do die and they found out that you all knew, they’ll be hurt, Ty. Tavvy’s seen death, and he isn’t a baby anymore.” Kit countered.

“Is that why Papa asked us to be gentle?” Max cocked his head to the side like the world’s cutest confused blue puppy. “Dad just said you were hurt.”

“I am hurt, Alec’s right.” Kit kept his voice soft, and both Rafe and Max frowned.

“Your wrist.” Rafe seemed to deflate. “You flinched and moved my hand when I touched your wrist earlier.”

Kit pulled his sleeve up to show them the bandage, a small smudge of blood already discolouring the white bandage. Rafe paled, clearly concerned that he’d gripped Kit’s wrist, but Kit grinned, ruffling his hair. Max grabbed Kit arm above the bandage, trailing his other hand over the injury with blue sparking fingers. The bandage briefly flashed blue and the wound stung, but Kit knew nothing else had happened. Clearly Max did too, because he pulled back with a pout.

“It’s not just you, Max. Iratzes, salves, magic, it won’t heal.” Kit murmured to him, and the little warlock reached for his wrist again. Kit pulled his wrist away, poking Max in the centre of his forehead. “It’s from a dream. I meant to ask your Papa about it, but playing with you sounded more fun.”

“Rude!” Magnus strolled in, trailing magical and real sparkles. “Adaon and Tessa did tell me this morning, though. Your dream branded you with a fey phrase, yes?” Kit nodded and Magnus flicked his wrist, banishing the bandage. Kit hissed in pain and Magnus grimaced. “Oh, that looks…”

“Unpleasant? Painful?” Kit offered and Magnus grinned at him. “It’s a line in the ancient language, but Adaon said it says ‘with my soul’s light, I guide you home’. Another line appeared this morning,” Kit fished the paper from his pocket, “but it’s not burnt on my skin. I meant to ask Adaon…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ash exploded, hurt blossoming through the bond, but Ash’s face read anger. “You didn’t tell me about the dream, about being hurt, about…”

“Ash.” Kit pulled Ash down to sit beside him. He didn’t shout, keeping his voice even. “I planned to, promise, but I told Rafe I’d teach him the game today. Anyway, the dream was super late last night and I only woke up right before lunch. I haven’t had time to tell you.” With a scoff, Ash stormed away and Kit sighed deeply. “That could have gone better.”

Magnus examined his arm, speaking lowly to Max about possible reasons magic cannot heal Kit’s wounds. Kit closed his eyes, desperately trying not to flinch or make any noise as the two warlocks examined him. Kit wasn’t able to prevent the wince when Magnus covered the wound with his hand, but when he started to force magic in, a wave of dizziness hit Kit. A loud ringing filled his ears, and Kit tried to move to cover his ears but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move. Sitting there, panic flooding him, Kit tried to breathe, to focus, only for Mannan’s voice to begin to echo around him. No one else reacted so he knew it was

‘Alone, you stand against us. With your soul’s light, you guide us home. Alone, you stand against us. With your soul’s light, you guide us home.’ The raspy voice of Mannan echoed again and again, consuming Kit. ‘Alone…’ his voice repeated over and over.

“KIT!” A human voice, familiar, cut through the boom of Mannan’s words. “Hey Kit, c’mon! Magnus, what’s wrong with him?” Kit couldn’t place the voice and his eyes wouldn’t open to see who it was. “What do we do?”

“I’m fine.” Kit’s voice was small, barely able to force the words out of his throat. Slowly his eyes slid open, and he could see Julian hovering over him, face pale. But that wasn’t the voice. He glanced over at Magnus, and he found the source of the panicked voice. Mark, looking shaken. “What… what happened?” His mouth tasted awful.

“You fainted.” Julian pressed a glass of water into Kit’s hands, helping him drink it when his shaking nearly spilt it everywhere. “And you started coughing up blood.”

“That’s the awful taste.” Kit muttered, earning a small smile from Julian.

“Tavvy came and got us before that.” Mark’s voice was shaking as much as Kit’s hands were. “Luckily, they stayed away. Raziel, Kit, you kept shaking and coughing up blood!”

“Oh, I convulsed?” Kit’s tone seemed to baffle them, like his nonchalance was unwarranted. “It happens sometimes when my blood pressure drops. The coughing blood thing started when I started using my power. Sorry if it scared you.”

“Scared the hell out of me.” Magnus dropped to sit beside him. “I couldn’t see anything magically wrong, but your arm was pouring blood, then you started coughing blood and… well, your convulsions sent blood flying.”

“S’always happened.” Kit swished water through his mouth, hoping that would get rid of the gross taste. “I think I was six the first time, when I still went to mundane school.” He rubbed his sleeve across his face, and he was surprised to see how much blood was staining the sleeve. “My dad didn’t care nearly as much.”

Julian flinched and Mark gaped at him. Behind them, Ty’s eyes simply widened slightly in shock. Magnus knew how bad Kit’s dad had been – and had ranted endlessly about some people not deserving children – so he wasn’t shocked.

Kit got shakily to his feet, and all four of the others looked ready to dive for him if he fell. Thankfully, he didn’t. That would have been mortifying, Kit could feel his face flush. God, he hated feeling so weak. Julian frowned at him and hooked an arm around Kit’s waist, stabilising him. He gave him a look that told him he did not appreciate Kit’s recklessness. Kit sighed and acquiesced.

“I need to talk to Adaon.” Kit paused, frowning. “And Ash and Mark, too. Helen if she wants to talk fey shit… But no one else. No Centurions.” Kit emphasised when Ty looked set to protest.

“Well, that can wait. You need to get yourself cleaned first.” Julian admonished. “I think Ash and Adaon might have heart attacks if they saw you covered in blood. Just wait until you see your reflection.” Julian gave him a fondly exasperated look. “Mark will get Adaon and Ash for you and meet you at your room in 15 minutes. Check with Helen too, Mark.”

Mark nodded but sighed when he realised Ty was staring intently at him. “Uh, Jules, the Centurions might disagree with being left out given, you know, they have to guard Kit.”

“Don’t care.” Kit’s tone was flat and Ty flinched. “It’s a fey issue. Unless they plan on including me in all their Centurion conversations, they can deal with it.”

“You aren’t just fey, Kit.” Kit was surprised when Magnus spoke. His voice was calm but serious. “Don’t make your friends’ lives harder.”

Kit stiffened, staring straight at Magnus for a few second. “I don’t care. Adaon and Ash are the only ones who seem to get it. But if you really want to know – fine.” Kit’s power swirled around him, forcing Julian to back away. “I know how to stop the Queen, how to send the ancient beasts and deities away, but I will lose everything. On the off-chance I survive, I’ll lose my Sight, my power, my mind.” Kit was yelling now, all the frustration and hurt exploding from him. “If I survive, it could leave me worse than dead! But I have to do it but because letting her control Mannan, let alone anyone or anything else, is about as smart as giving the Cohort control of the Princes of Hell! And I have to do it alone.”

Kit’s magic spiked, growing brighter, and with a blinding flash that took a whole minute to dissipate, Kit disappeared.

Chapter Text

When Kit opened his eyes, he nearly screamed. He’d hadn’t intentionally teleported, the magic just surged through him uncontrollably. And he was no longer in the Institute or even the human realm. Alec was gonna kill him. The rainbow stars glinting above him told him he was in one of the Courts and Kit felt anxiety crawl up his throat like bile. He’d accidentally teleported to the last place he wanted to be. He froze when he heard a voice behind him.

“Little prince, you finally answered my summons.” When Kit whirled around, the towering form that Kit knew was Mannan appeared. Burnished copper armour, wild silver hair, glowing bronze skin – Mannan shone in metallic. “You need to understand the truth of what you face.”

Kit felt like his brain was lagging, and for a moment all Kit could think to say was “I’m no one’s prince.” The words garnered a deep, throaty chuckle from Mannan, but then his words hit Kit. “Oh my god, you hijacked my magic!”

“Have you not sensed me?” Mannan sounded disappointed.

Kit frowned. “Well, between being affected by the Queen raising you, being affected by a Seelie Knight’s spell and recovering from being assaulted, I haven’t been able to sense anything weird in my magic.”

Mannan seemed to accept the explanation, moving aside so Kit could see behind him. Kit felt his blood turn to ice as he saw the teeming mass of ancient monsters and deities. Even one of those creatures would have no issue destroying Kit entirely. There had to be hundreds, thousands of powerful fey beings. The magic tore at Kit’s skin, strangling him, suffocating him. Mannan moved back to shelter Kit from the power, and Kit collapsed to his knees, choking back a sob.

“I’m meant to… that?” Kit felt like throwing up, and he breathed through his nose. “Alone, without help?”

“Do you now see why I say to defeat the Queen, you will lose everything?” Kit nodded numbly and Mannan sighed. “No one can be near you; the magic may kill them.”

The words swum through his head – alone, you stand against us. The realisation landed like a punch and Kit curled in on himself, staring up at Mannan in abject horror. “Oh, you meant alone-alone.”

Mannan looked at him with pity. “There is more, little prince. The ghost I have sensed with you, was she returned with necromancy?” Kit froze, that was not a question Kit had expected. Before Kit could chose his answer, Livvy popped into being beside him and nodded. Kit went to pass it along but Mannan stared intently at her. “Little pale one, the same magic the little prince must use to send us back, it will dissolve the artificial tether that keeps you bound here to your kin.”

The nausea that had been slowly leaving Kit returned with full force. Wasn’t his personal sacrifice enough? How cruel would the universe have to be to make Kit be the person to destroy Livvy’s final remnant on this earth? Kit knew that Ty would never forgive that – but Kit supposed Ty hating him wouldn’t matter if he was dead or forced out of the Shadow World.

“Will I move on, return to where I was before? Or will I just be… gone?” Livvy’s voice was reedy, nervous, and Kit definitely could not blame her. “Because if I can go back to where I was before, I don’t care.”

“You will move on to the Shining Lands.” Mannan’s voice was gentle, shocking Kit.

“That’s fine then.” Livvy’s voice was hard, like she had decided for him. “Ty’s never going to move on if I’m always tied to him.”

Mannan nodded, clearly impressed with Livvy’s spunk. He turned back to face Kit. “Do you now understand your fate?” Kit nodded, a shiver running down his back, still reeling from the raw power he’d felt. “You have one moon, little prince, then at first light she will attack the Unseelie Court. Your King will need you, and you will need to act swiftly.” Mannan waved his hand at Kit and he felt his power activate.

The flash of light stole them away.

Kit reappeared in his bedroom, nearly collapsing onto his bed before he realised that he was not alone. Mark was pacing a hole into the carpet, Adaon was staring moodily out the window, and Ash was slumped on Kit’s bed right where he was about to fall. He neatly caught Kit as he fell.

“Where did you disappear to, little one?” Adaon’s voice was sharper than expected. “People are looking for you!”

“Faerie.” Kit muttered and all three gave him sharp looks. “Apparently Mannan wanted a heart-to-heart.” Kit leant into Ash, closing his eyes as Mark and Adaon growled at him for being stupid. “I didn’t choose to be kidnapped through hijacked magic. I’d rather not have made the realisation of how fucked I am.”

“I’m sorry, are you saying that Mannan hijacked your magic?” Ash looked incredulous when Kit nodded. “I hope I get to face the bastard when…” Kit shuddered, not watching to imagine Ash, his parabatai, up against the teeming mass of monsters. Obviously, the horror that flowed through their bond startled Ash. “Kit, what’s wrong?”

“Tomorrow, they’re being set loose on the on the Unseelie Court tomorrow.” Kit rasped. “I’m going to fucking die tomorrow and if I’m not quick enough, the whole Unseelie Court may die too.” Kit spat the words as quick as possible, the poisonous words burning him, and Ash pulled him into a crushing hug. “I know how to stop it, how to send them home, but… I have to do alone.”

“No, you don’t. I won’t let you.” All three of them spoke as one. Kit felt a sad warmth filled him.

“I love you for saying that, but this isn’t me being self-sacrificing. I need… I need to essentially drain my magic entirely. It’ll be messy, it’ll be explosive, and it would kill you.” Kit’s voice cracked, and he felt Ash’s arms tighten around him. “Mannan made it clear. There’s no chance.”

“She plans to attack tomorrow?” Mark refocused on Kit, clearly upset. “We need to warn Kier!”

“Or we could just go to him, warn him in person?” Kit offered, trying to smile. “I’d rather not… I’d rather not have an audience to the end of my life.”

“I’d love to say yes, but you know Jace would kill all of us if we did that.” Ash’s laugh was clear in his words.

“Too right.” Jace grumbled from the door and Mark flinched away from him. “I heard enough of what you were saying. Tomorrow, Unseelie Court – do you know anything more specific.”

Ki shrugged slightly. “I was told I had until sunrise tomorrow, and, given the target is Kieran and his court, it’ll happen wherever he will be, I guess.” Kit’s voice was still shaking. “As dumb as it sounds, I don’t want you, Tessa and Jem to see…” For the first time, Kit could not say it, couldn’t acknowledge the fact of his death. “My parents, especially. I don’t want…” Kit’s voice shook and broke, and he needed to take a deep breath. “I don’t want to be another bad memory, another face in their nightmares. Another child they’ve lost.”

“Kit, you can’t take that choice away from them.” Jace’s voice was quiet, his face unreadable. “I want to be there for you, I need to be there for you. I’m sure Tessa and Jem are the same.”

Kit groaned, knowing Jace was right but the thought of Tessa holding his corpse as his life ebbed away made him feel queasy. With a deep sigh, Kit stood and went to Jace, leaning heavily on Jace’s shoulder. Jace just leant his chin on Kit’s head, and Kit could feel the tremors through Jace’s frame. Jace was clearly struggling with it and Kit couldn’t blame him.

“I’m sorry, Kit.” Jace’s voice was barely audible. “I know I’m not making this any easier.”

Kit laughed and breathed back. “As dark as it is, I’m not the one who has to live with it. I just want you to be okay.”

Dinner was quiet, subdued and awkward. It was clear that everyone knew it was Kit’s last day would be tomorrow. There was an undercurrent of tension and they kept looking at Kit like they expected him to slump to the side, dead at the table. It was also obvious that Tessa and Jem had told Mina something, because his little sister was clinging to him, refusing to sit on her own chair, even when Ash offered her his chair beside Kit. Instead, she perched on his lap, cuddling up to him.

Eventually, the silence made Kit so uncomfortable that he broke, huffing out an anxious breath. “God, if my funeral is this depressing, I’m glad I won’t see it.”

The asinine comment partially worked, Jace and Ash snorted and Tessa rolled her eyes. The others looked unsettled, and Mina clung tighter to him. Jem reached over and gripped Kit’s shoulder warmly.

“Are there any Herondales who are not irreverent about their own mortality?” Jem smiled wistfully – the smile Kit had named the Will smile. “Will was much the same. He once told me that he expected me to wear a mourning dress and grieve as Queen Victoria did for her prince, but I was to wear white for the rest of my life and never love another as I did him.” Tessa laughed wetly and Jace was shaking with silent laughter. “Other times he would tell me I was to roll him into the Thames and drink until I passed out.”

“I’m not quite that morbid.” Kit grinned and arched an eyebrow hautily. “I simply expect an extravagant party, and Jace is to jump from a cake in a sequined mini-dress.” Simon groaned, muttering that Jace would do it and not to tempt him. “Oh, and all of the pain au chocolat.” Jem snorted.

“Am I to have any role in this?” Ash grinned. “Because I think I should leave the theatrics to the Herondales.”

“Fiiine…” Kit laughed and Jace cackled. “But, seriously, I’m not dead yet, don’t… I don’t want everything to be so sad and awkward.”

“Jace in a mini-dress is nothing but awkward.” Simon mumbled and Jace flipped him off. But Kit’s dumb joke seemed to have worked. The mood lifted and the light-hearted sniping continued.

Chapter Text

Kit was trying to sleep, but the quakes of magic he could feel were keeping him awake. He could hear everything, feel everything, and every time he nearly fell asleep, another quake would hit. He could hear Mannan in his mind, calling for him to rest and be peaceful, and he could hear the other ancient fey begging for freedom. Kit tried to settle, meditating, but every wave of magic lit his nerves on fire. While he lay staring at the ceiling, Livvy popped into being above him.

“Ty wants to see you.” She whispered. “I told him that your magic will break the tie and now he’s pacing his room. He was taken off guard duty, and he’s overwhelmed. Can you please go to him?”

Kit smiled sadly, hovering his fingers as though he was cupping her cheek. “Is he mad at me?”

“No, he’s only mad at me because I told him I was relieved to be able to move on.” Livvy’s light seemed to dim and Kit’s heart hurt. “I hate not being seen, not being able to help, I can’t help Ty-Ty, I can’t hug him or rub his hands. I just have to watch him suffer.” Kit stood up, facing her.

“Which room is Ty’s?”

Kit materialised in the threshold of Ty’s room, staggering slightly when a quake of magic hit his system. Ty’s grey eyes flicked straight to him, swirling like storm clouds. Kit was both surprised and unsurprised as Ty launched himself at Kit, shaking violently. Acting on instinct, Kit wrapped him arms tightly around Ty, squeezing until he was convinced that Ty could not breathe. After a long moment, Kit decided to speak.

“Ty, what…” Kit swallowed the question. Asking what was wrong was dumb, it was obvious what was wrong. “I know everything is changing, and it all sucks, but…”

“The same magic that going to kill you is going to take Livvy from me too.” Ty’s voice rasped painfully and Kit wanted to scream, nothing about this was fair. “In a few hours, she’ll have disappeared and you’re… leaving me again. I don’t – I don’t want you to die.” Ty dug his nails into Kit’s back and Kit bit back a hiss of pain. “Please don’t leave me again, it hurts when you aren’t here.”

“I love you, Ty, I love you.” Kit whispered into Ty’s shoulder. “I would do anything to protect you, to protect all of you – Mina, Jace, Tessa, Jem, everyone. But you… Ty, even if Livvy and I are gone, if you need us, we’ll be there. In your memories, yes – but, like Will with Jem and Tessa, whenever you need me, I’ll come and see you.”

“Then you’ll never move on, Kit.” Ty ran his fingers through Kit’s hair. “I’ll always need you.”

Ty went to pull away, but he paused and frowned. Then, to Kit’s shock, Ty surged forward and kissed Kit full on the lips. After a second, Ty deepened the kiss, one of his hands found Kit’s waist and pulled him, as if he could be any closer, the other tangling in Kit’s curls and tugging. Kit groaned lowly and pulled away to catch his breath.

“Fuck.” Kit muttered against Ty’s lips. “God, Ty, you’re breaking my heart.” Kit tried to take a step away but Ty gripped both his hair and waist tighter.

“Don’t go.” Ty’s voice was small. “Stay with me.”

“For as long as I can, Ty. And, God, I wish I could stay forever.” Ty pulled Kit until he settled on the bed with him. Kit flushed and Ty pressed another kiss to Kit’s lips. Ty’s fingers kept playing with Kit’s curls, threading and tugging as if Kit’s hair was one of his stim-toys. “Sleep, Ty. I’ll be here when you wake.”

Kit woke a few hours later to panicked knocking on Ty’s door. The knocking was insistent, but not loud, clearly aiming not to wake the whole Institute. Kit looked at the clock and bit back a curse, it was 2am, and he’d been told to be prepared by 4am. Kit turned to face Ty, and he grinned as Ty blinked sleepily at him. The panicked knocking continued until Ty groaned, loud enough to be heard.

“Ty, Kit’s missing!” Mark called lowly through the door. “Adaon, Ash and Jace are all pretty concerned that he might have gone to the Courts already.”

“I’m in here, Mark.” Kit groaned and Ty smiled into his hair. “I couldn’t sleep and…”

“Oh Raziel, they’re going to kill you. You scared the shit out of everyone.” Julian’s voice was so clearly relieved. “And why the hell are you in Ty’s room?”

“Sorry Jules.” Ty sat up, brushing his lips against Kit’s cheek. “I asked Kit to sneak over to me. Divya took me off guard duty, but I needed to talk to him. He fell asleep after we talked and I didn’t want to wake him.”

Kit gaped at him, shocked. Ty lied for him. Tiberius Blackthorn lied! For him! Ty rolled his eyes at Kit and Kit grinned back. The silence from the other side of the door hung for a second, clear judgement echoing in it.

“Well… time to get ready. The Clave wants to strategise.” Mark said, and Kit could almost hear the eye-roll. “You have ten minutes before we break in and drag you out, not matter what you look like.” Two sets of footsteps echoed in the hall as Ty’s older brothers left.

Ty grinned, pulling Kit to his feet and wrapping himself around Kit. Ty kissed him greedily, hands tugging at Kit’s hair again. Finally, Ty gasped and stepped away, evidence of their kiss written on his face – flushed cheeks, swollen lips and sparkling eyes.

“You should get ready.” His voice rasped, but the tone was warm.

“I promised to stay with you, didn’t I? For as long as possible.” Kit leant his head on Ty’s shoulder. “Get ready then we’ll go to my room.”

Less than five minutes later, Kit and Ty materialised in Kit’s room. Not even a second after they appeared, Ash launched at Kit and punched him on the shoulder. Anush and Divya were glaring at Ty, who was carefully ignoring their angry gazes. Jaime was hiding a grin, winking subtly at Kit as he dodged around them to grab his clothes and ducking into the bathroom, quickly changing and splashing water on his face.

“What were you thinking, Centurion?” Divya’s commanding voice was cold, harsh. “You disobeyed orders…”

“How is this Ty’s fault?” Anush countered, glaring at Kit as he left the bathroom. “He purposely makes our jobs harder by teleporting away!”

“He was safe.” Ty spoke quietly. “I needed to talk to him, but you took me off guard duty and told me not to speak to him.” The words hit Kit in the stomach, painful.

“Ty, shut up!” Anush hissed. “He chose…”

“It’s my fault.” Kit kept his voice even, meeting Divya’s eyes calmly. “I figured it wouldn’t matter who was guarding me. I couldn’t settle down, and I knew talking to Ty would help, so I went to him.”

“Why not Ash?” Anush stared him down. “Or you could have asked for Jaime, his room is literally right next to yours.”

Kit looked at Ty from the corner of his eye, watching him fidget. He chose to go for the truth, or at least a version of it. “Well, I’m not in love with Jaime or Ash.” He saw Ty’s eyes widen in surprise. “Sue me if I wanted to spend some time with the person I love before I die.”

The room stilled, frozen by his admission. Ty was flushed pink, fidgeting with a stim-toy Kit had seen him stuff in his pocket, as the group stared between the two. After an agonising moment, Ash made a disgusted noise and flung a ten-dollar bill at Jaime as Jaime dissolved into laughter, doubling over and clutching his stomach.

“Really, Kit?” Ash sighed, clearly annoyed. “A last-minute confession, seriously? You’re so fucking cliché.”

“Don’t be bitter, Ashy-boy. It’s sweet.” Jaime teased.

Eyes flicking between his two friends, Kit calculated. “Of course, you two assholes would make a bet out of this. What was the terms of your bet?” Both boys paused, looking at him intently. They recognised the tone of his voice, what Jem had called his Shadow Market voice, calculating and smooth. “Because timeframe-wise, I confessed to Ty twice. First, after I woke up from the spell from the Seelie Knight being broken, but Ty didn’t… catch it. I made it clearer two days ago.”

“I still win,” Jaime grinned, “I bet Ash you would confess before the battle.” Ash huffed and looked away, growling as Jaime ruffled his hair. “Ash thought you’d be too chicken to tell him.”

Kit sighed heavily, grabbing the Herondale dagger from his bedside table and strapping it to his arm as he started to walk out. “Such faith in me, my parabatai.” Ash snickered and followed him gleefully, the loss of the bet already forgotten. “Let’s go plan my death!”

Adaon was pacing in a corner of the library when Kit, Ash and the Centurions arrived. Most of the Clave-in-Exile and members of the Downworld Alliance were there, and Kit’s stomach flipped as they all stared straight at him. All of these people would be witness to his… ugh, he couldn’t even think it. Ash took Kit’s arm and tugged him to the corner with Adaon, dodging artfully around the crowd.

When they reached him, Adaon pulled Kit closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I worried you chose to face them alone.” He muttered in Faerie. “But Tiberius’ brothers tell me that instead you visited his quarters.” There was clear amusement in his voice.

Kit chose to ignore the second comment. “Do not forget that I do have to do part of it alone.” Kit whispered back. “Though I am counting on you to keep the Seelie away until I can complete my part.”

“They will not get close.” Ash spoke, watching as Alec fought for everyone’s attention. He swapped to English. “You know Alec will have to reveal your heritage to everyone?”

“What do I care? By mid-morning I’ll be dead.” Kit scoffed, causing Ash to snort loudly right as Alec successfully got everyone to go quiet.

Alec shot them both a look, and Kit had to fight the urge to hide behind Adaon like a child. “Everyone, meet Kit Herondale. As many of you may have heard, Kit is the First Heir.” Alec raised an eyebrow at Kit, as if prompting him, so Kit waved sheepishly. Alec bit back a grin and cleared his throat, getting everyone to return their attention to him. “Over the last few days, I’ve briefed you on the overall situation, and last night I told you we had a plan to stop the Seelie Queen. Kit is that plan.” A general murmur of disbelief went around the room and Kit felt his stomach tighten. “He has the ability to stop the monsters, we just need to stop the monsters and the Seelie Knights from hurting him or the Unseelie.”

“It’s also important not to get close to me, too.” Kit added. “To stop the monsters, I essentially need to nuke my magic – I’d try to stay about 20 feet away from me. But the magic’s aftershocks will spread and affect the monsters and deities, sending them back to where they came from.”

“What happens if you get hurt? How quickly after this magical detonation can we get to you?” Kit didn’t know the member of the Clave that spoke, but he was standing very close to Alec’s mother. “You will more than likely need some iratzes or healing of some kind.”

“Kadir…” Alec looked uncomfortable. “It’s pretty unlikely that Kit will… um… survive his plan.” At Alec’s hesitant words, a wave of indignation ran around the room. Kit saw several of the shadowhunters shake their head in disappointment, as if they thought that Alec was recklessly sacrificing Kit. “Believe me, if we could avoid hurting Kit, we would in a heartbeat, but….”

“I’ve chosen this myself.” Kit pitched his voice, purposefully mimicking Kieran’s mannerisms. “My heritage is already a death sentence; my blood has been dangerous my whole life. If my life is going to be forfeit, I’d rather it be used to protect people and not harm them.” People still looked unconvinced. “Alec has been trying to figure out a different answer with the Unseelie King and Prince Adaon.”

“There is no other resolution.” Adaon spoke carefully, eyes flicking around the room. “We do not easily sacrifice our blood. If the cause was not just or if there was any other answer, we would not stand by and allow the First Heir to do this.”

“Can’t we just fight the monsters? We kill demons all the time.” Beatriz, a tutor at the Academy, asked.

“I do not recommend trying to kill Mannan or Fenrir, or any other fey deity. Even the Wild Hunt would not try it.” Mark answered her, face impassive. “Unless you plan on getting all parabatai to re-enact Julian and Emma’s defeat of the Riders?” Mark’s tone was hilariously sarcastic and Kit fought not to snort with laughter.

“Jace, how do you feel about this?” One of Simon’s Academy friends, Marisol, asked.

“If killing monsters would prevent this, I’d do that.” Jace spoke in a low monotone. “I’m not happy about it, I just…” Jace’s voice cracked and Kit’s heart hurt. Around the room he could read the pity on everyone’s face. “We can’t find any other solution.”

Jace’s words seemed to settle the issue. Alec and Diego issued orders and directions, speaking on everything Kit or the Unseelie had ever told them. Finally, Clary drew a portal rune, one she’d specifically modified for passage to Faerie so Jace and Ash could safely visit the Unseelie Court while Kit was there.

Through the portal, Kit could see the canvas tents of the Court under the sparkling Unseelie Court night sky. With a deep breath, Kit stepped through the portal beside Adaon, breathing in the air of the land of Faerie.

Chapter Text

Shadowhunters were still coming through the portal and forming up on the Faerie side when Kieran and General Winter approached them. Kit, Ash and Adaon bowed and Alec and Diego shook his hand when the king stopped in front of them. Ash, Alec and Diego returned to the shadowhunters, Alec and Diego shouting orders to prepare for battle. Winter gave Kit a curt nod, wild eyes staring straight into Kit’s soul, clearly withholding questions. Kit shot Adaon a glance and the older prince nodded, suggesting the general knew.

“General Winter, I understand you’ve been told the situation.” Kit spoke in Faerie and the general nodded. Kit was surprised to see pity in the redcap’s normally icy eyes. Kit shook it off, meeting Winter’s eyes evenly. “Is there an elevated position that is easy to defend from a distance?”

“What distance do you require?” Winter’s eyes slid out of focus, as though he was visualising the whole field as a 3D map. “I know of three potential positions that may work depending on the distance you require, but in each you will be left unreasonably exposed to attack.”

“We predict at least 20 feet but he wishes to double it.” Adaon spoke for him and Winter frowned. “Is it not possible, General?”

“It would leave the prince… I apologise, the Un-Prince,” Kit laughed and Winter bowed his head to him, “in a very vulnerable position for attack.”

Before Kit could respond, the earth began to tremble and shake. Even the most sure-footed of shadowhunters stumbled from the shocks and a few fell to their knees as the quakes continued. A loud roar filled the area, not from a being – monster or otherwise – but from the tremors consuming the realm of Faerie. Kieran flinched and paled, but otherwise gave no reaction – but Kit could see the pain in his eyes, and he suddenly remembered Kieran telling him that the King was a reflection of his realm. Kieran being in pain meant the court was in dire straits. Kit watched him for more of a reaction as the tremors continued, only for Kieran to be obscured in darkness.

Kit looked up and wanted to scream. For as far as the eye could see, a layer of the ancient beasts blocked the moonlight and starlight. The ground finally stopped trembling, and the yells in Faerie and an array of human languages could finally be heard. Then, gradually, the shadowhunters’ witchlights began to flicker on across the field, and the redcaps who had been guarding Kieran from a distance immediately closed ranks. They encircled Kieran, Adaon and Kit and their eyes flashed dangerously, daring anyone to attack.

A strange bronze glow lit the field, highlighting the field of shadowhunters and fey, and showing them the mass of Seelie warriors approaching them. Kit looked up and stared blankly, shocked. About a hundred feet above them, Mannan’s hulking bronze figure held the ancient beings back, even as the Seelie’s attack began. As expected, the Seelie appeared to be aiming straight for the ring of redcaps protecting Kieran. Kit went to free the Herondale dagger from its sheath, pausing when Kieran put a hand on his elbow. Kit raised an eyebrow.

“The redcaps will take offence if you prepare for attack too openly.” Kieran murmured in his ear, eyes watching the circle as they repelled each attack. “Be ready but leave the blade in the sheath.”

“Their aim is to protect you, right?” Kit breathed back, and Kieran nodded. “So, I need to be ready if there is a breach, they need to be able to focus on you.” Regardless, Kit let go of the hilt.

As they spoke, Kit felt a sharp pain through the parabatai bond, eyes immediately seeking out Ash. The platinum-hair of his parabatai was easily visible in the melee, fighting back-to-back with Jaime, facing off against a group of five Seelie Knights, one of whom had managed to leave a pretty deep cut across Ash’s ribs. Without a second thought, Kit released the dagger from its sheath and threw – relieved when he saw the blade thump squarely in the back of the Knight who had been braced to strike at Ash, the Knight immediately crumbling to the ground. Ash looked up to see where the dagger came from, grinning wildly at Kit.

Kit grinned back, before turning to face Kieran. “Forgive me for this, Kier.”

With those words, Kit flashed to Ash’s side, plucking his dagger from the dead Knight and immediately plunging it in the shoulder of a Knight attempting to swing at Jaime. Jaime efficiently dispatched the Knight, whirling to face Kit with a scowl.

“What the fuck are you thinking?” Jaime growled, pulling Kit behind him, killing another Knight in the same movement. “You are a target here! You can’t use up your magic and your only weapon is a dagger.” Jaime gestured at one of the many other centurions, but it was Ty who came over, eyes flicking around him and his stance ready. “You weren’t meant to be in this fight! Are you so desperate to die?”

“I can’t stand by while you all fight, plus the redcaps should be focused on Kieran.” Kit, to his credit, did know he was being reckless, and Jaime shot him a glare. Kit grabbed a blade from one of the dead Knights and swung it experimentally. “Besides, they’ve been told to target Kieran, not me. Just look at them, it’s probably safer for me here!” Jaime just kept glaring, pulling Kit into a back-to-back (-to-back-to-back) stance with Ty, Ash and himself.

 “Why aren’t the monsters attacking?” Ash whispered to Kit as they circled, watching the Seelie Knights. “Surely… look, I can see my mother.” Ash pointed by jutting his chin, and sure enough the Seelie Queen was at the edge of the field, glaring at the sky, arms up and chanting. “She looks livid!”

“I think Mannan is resisting – he was meant to have been Unseelie, is worshipped by the Unseelie. Her orders would be repulsive to him.” Kit muttered back.

The conversation ended there, another wave of Seelie Knights rising to attack, separating Kit from the others. Kit felt the sting of a blade running across his ribs, but he barely noticed. Ty and Jaime launched to protect him, dispatching two Knights in their movement.

The battle raged on, loud and chaotic. Hacking. Slashing. Dodging. Kit barely had time to breathe, each and every ounce of energy focused on surviving the battle. Kit knew he was bleeding from a million cuts and nicks, and he lost track of how many Knights had met the sharp edge of his borrowed blade. He’d thrown the dagger once more at some point, when he’d noticed a Knight sneaking up on Jace and Alec. Everything was a blur. Everything was a mess. Everything was too loud.

Then a sound broke through the chaos. Kit would never be able to describe it. If Kit thought it was loud before, he was wrong. The sound echoed across the field, ringing in everyone’s ears, forcing them to their knees. Kit staggered but stayed standing – the only one standing. He stared blankly up at Mannan, realising belatedly that the deafening sound was Mannan roaring.

He glanced around the field. Ty was desperately covering his ears, eyes screwed shut as the sound continued. Jaime and Ash were on their knees, eyes unfocused and blood running from their ears. Alec and Jace were the same, only a few feet away. Even the Seelie Queen lay crumpled at the edge of the blood-soaked field, her guards unconscious around her. Kieran and his ring of redcaps had sunk to their knees too, but Kieran’s eyes were focused, searching. When he saw Kit, he mouthed something – probably run. But Kit couldn’t move.

Then Kit felt clawed hands grip him, pulling him, claws digging painfully into his flesh. Kit still felt disoriented, so it surprised him when he felt a hand around his ankle. Dazed, he looked down to find he was several feet off the ground and Jace desperately gripping his ankle, knuckles white. Kit looked over his shoulder to find an ancient winged creature, and Kit heard a voice echo in his head. It is time. Fly with me and free us. Kit stared into the creature’s ancient, desperate eyes for a second before he decided. Kit kicked Jace’s hand off him.

Kit rocketed straight up into the night sky, until he was surrounded by the ancient creatures. Kit felt the same power surround him that had terrified him the other day, but this time it didn’t grate against him, it wrapped him in warmth, it seemed to pour into him until Kit felt his own magic respond.

Suddenly, the creatures and deities around him were thrown into sharp relief, his magic lighting him like the sun. Below him, Kit could see the field lit as though struck by dawn light. Kit vaguely heard something from below, a scream that sounded vaguely like his name along with a plea for him to come back down. Jace or Ash – Kit couldn’t tell.

“Are we high enough that they will not be hurt?” Kit was surprised to realise he was speaking the ancient language. Mannan nodded and Kit felt the weight of worry lift. “Then I am ready. Do it.”

Mannan pressed his hand flat to Kit’s chest, right over his heart. A jolt of pain forced Kit to falter, falling to his knees as the air below him solidified and caught him. It felt like electricity was coursing through him, sparks flying from his skin. Mannan knelt in front of him, caught by the air as well, and lowered his head in a bow.

“Speak the words, little prince. Your presence is helping us resist, but I cannot fight the Seelie Queen’s magic much longer.”

Kit’s magic pulsed and he gasped, voice cracking. “Alone, I stand against you.”

A wave of magic poured out from him and Kit bit back a scream. It felt like the magic was building him up only to tear him apart all over again. Kit felt an explosion brewing under his skin, felt it crawling along his veins like fire, burning him from the inside out. Many of the ancients bowed their heads to him.

Mannan pressed his forehead to Kit’s as Kit managed to gasp the final words, his left forearm bursting into flame as he spoke the words burnt there. “With my soul’s light, I guide you home.”

The light exploded from him, burning so bright it seemed to turn the dark of predawn to midday light. A mixture of fire and sunlight burned from him, the roar of the magic swallowing his scream of pain. Around him the monsters began to disappear, relief on each face.

Eventually, it was only Mannan, and Kit felt a shattering feeling in his head and his heart – and a sob was torn from his throat as the final remnants of his magic began to burn, wrapping Mannan and beginning to dissolve the god.

“Thank you, little one. I pray for you.” Mannan’s voice echoed around him.

Kit felt hollow, like some essential part of him had been stripped away. He could feel tears on his face, but he didn’t know when he’d shed them. He stared numbly as the final wisps of metallic light from Mannan disappeared and the air barrier keeping him afloat dissolved.

Kit began to fall.

Kit closed his eyes, if he were honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he’d feel the impact of the ground with how much pain was coursing through his body already. The cool air rushing past him actually felt nice, soothing him and dousing the flames that had still been burning on his skin.

Then, the wind stilled and Kit felt gentle arms wrap around him. Kit opened his eyes – partly in shock and partly to confirm he was still alive – to find Ash, black Angel-like wings extended behind him. Ash’s green eyes were distant, like Kit couldn’t read him anymore, and he absently wiped a tear from Ash’s face.

“I thought…” Ash’s voice was rough, cracking from overuse, like he’d been screaming. Kit thought that he probably had been. “I felt something shatter, my rune…” Ash was slowly floating downwards as he spoke, clearly delaying their landing. Kit felt Ash shudder against him. “I can’t feel you anymore, Kit. The bond… it’s gone.”

Sure enough, trying to focus on the part of his soul that belonged to Ash was impossible. His whole soul felt… burned out, destroyed, but the part that was once Ash was hollow, gone. Ash touched the collarbone that had held Kit’s parabatai rune and held the bloody fingers in front of Kit’s eyes – proof that the rune had broken. Before Kit could try to speak, they had landed and Ash placed him on the ground and retreated. Kit felt the loss with his whole heart and he had to swallow a sob as his friends gathered around him.

“Little one, are you alright?” He could hear Kieran, but he couldn’t see the Unseelie King. Everyone was blurring around the edges, but Kieran just… wasn’t visible. Kit felt his blood turn to ice. “Little fair one?”

Kit tried to answer but panic washed over him and his voice wouldn’t come out. Part of him screamed, begging for death rather than losing every part of him that he felt mattered. Kit looked desperately for Ash, but he was too far for Kit to reach, and Kit tried again to speak. Nothing.

“What is wrong with him?” He could hear Adaon too, but the voice seemed to be coming through water, muffled. Kit closed his eyes, feeling sick to his core as his people kept disappearing. No, nononono. “Do you need water, little one?”

Kit just lifted his right arm, showing them his Voyance run that he knew was beginning to dissolve on his skin. He refused to open his eyes even as he heard a sound like a sob – he was in enough physical pain without adding the emotional trauma of watching them disappear.

“Why is it fading?” Alec sounded panicked.

Finally, Kit found his voice. “I’m losing my Sight.” His words caused a ripple around him but he kept his eyes closed. He couldn’t see their broken expressions. “I burned away everything in me that isn’t mundane. I’m… I’m turning into a mundane.” Kit finally opened his eyes to watch as the glamour runes began to take effect. As he watched, Alec, Jace and Ash shimmered and disappeared as though they were mirages in the desert. Nausea hit him as he realised the only one he could see was Ty, who had his stele in his hand as he deactivated his glamour rune. “Ty–”

“She’s gone.” Ty whispered to him, tear in his eyes. Kit felt like he was turning to ice, shivering harshly, pain building like molten lava under his skin. “You have to live, Kit, you have to. If you love me, you can’t leave me too, okay?”

Ty’s desperate words couldn’t stop Kit’s eyes from sliding closed, and Kit felt Ty’s hand on his cheek, warm against the ice of his skin. Ty whispered something in his ear, but Kit couldn’t hear him anymore. Kit allowed himself to fall.

Chapter Text

Kit didn’t know how long he’d been unconscious, but waking up felt like being set on fire before being plunged in ice cold water – painful and shocking. If Kit didn’t feel like his body was made of lead, he would probably have jolted upright with a scream. Instead, he woke with a flinch, a loud groan torn from his dry throat, followed by hacking coughs. He managed to force his body to move, to turn on his side, curling up to try to stop the coughs wracking his frame. Before he could, someone held a straw against his lips, encouraging Kit to drink some water.

“Breathe, Kit.” Kit managed to force his eyes open, finding the dark brown eyes of Jem staring worriedly at him. Something about Jem’s face looked wrong but Kit couldn’t place it. Everything was fuzzy. Carefully, Jem helped Kit to sit, putting a plastic cup of water in his shaking hands. “Are you alright?”

Kit shook his head, searching for his voice but finding nothing there. Jem frowned and refilled the cup that Kit had drained before disappearing through the door. Kit managed to take a few sips of the water before Jem returned with a man Kit knew he should know, but his eyes wouldn’t focus on the face. Kit groaned in frustration, rubbing at his eyes roughly.

“Glamour, Magnus.” Jem’s voice was gentle, and the stranger’s face seemed to shift, then he was looking at the familiar face of Magnus Lightwood-Bane – but something still looked off. Kit moved to touch his own face in realisation. The eyes he knew should be yellow-green cat’s eyes were just… brown. “Kit, what’s wrong?”

“My eyes look wrong, don’t they?” Magnus’ voice was soft, and Kit nodded. “I took the strongest glamour off, the one that makes it hard for mundanes to focus on me. My eyes are protected by a very weak glamour.”

Kit groaned, rubbing his eyes roughly in frustration. Magnus took his hand gently away from his eyes before covering them with his own hand. Blue sparks seemed to dance under his eyelids and the aches in his body eased. Still, Kit couldn’t find his voice and he huffed as Magnus pulled away with a frown. Magnus tried to force a smile, ruffling Kit’s hair, but he looked sad.

“I’ve healed some of the pain, but there’s damaged parts I can’t touch – magical, physical and emotional. One of those pieces is his voice – it will probably return soon, but with the trauma of everything… he did lose his Sight, his parabatai bond, his magic.” Magnus kept a hand on Kit’s head comfortingly, and even though he knew Magnus was talking to Jem, Kit recognised that the words were for him too. “Like with Will and your decision to become a Silent Brother, or with James and his powers, accepting these changes will be hard, and will take time. My advice is something I’ll bet you never thought I would say…” Jem raised an eyebrow and Magnus grinned. “Have patience.” Kit huffed a laugh and Jem grinned back at Magnus. “He is fine to have visitors, but it’s his choice. He’ll lose energy quickly.”

Jem nodded before turning to Kit, sitting heavily on the end of Kit’s bed. “Mina wants to see you. She has been demanding it since we bought her back home from the Institute.” Kit frowned, looking around until he recognised where he was – his room in Cirenworth. He was home. “When we tried to bring you into the Institute, you kept convulsing. We couldn’t figure out why, so we portalled you home. It’s been about a month since then.” Kit went still, shocked. A month. Kit couldn’t believe it. Jem’s voice cracked as he continued “Your heart stopped twice in the first two days, you’ve switched between fevers and hypothermia. If I’m honest, you’re lucky you woke at all. Between Tessa, Magnus and Catarina, they’ve had to pull you back from death too many times to count.”

Before Kit could even try to communicate his opinion on that, his door was flung open and Mina shot through, throwing herself on her big brother’s chest. Seconds later, Tessa hustled in, exasperation clear on her face. But Kit just buried his face in his sister’s hair, blinking away tears and ignoring the pain shooting through him. Tessa perched on the bed beside him, and Kit could see her warm, but watery, smile firmly in place.

She put her hand on Kit’s cheek, making him meet her tired eyes. “It’s so nice to see your eyes again.” Tessa murmured and Kit had to blink away tears from the emotion in her voice. God, he loved his parents. “Jace, Jaime and the Blackthorns have all been dropping by regularly to check on you.” Without meaning to, Kit’s hand touched the scar of his parabatai rune on his collarbone and Tessa pulled the hand into her lap, her eyes and voice both full of pain for him. “He hasn’t been by, but Jace told me he’s barely left his room.”

“Even though you’re alive, your bond broke and it will feel to him as if you did die.” Jem’s voice was soft, but Kit could hear the raw emotion. Kit knew he was remembering Will, remembering when their bond broke so he could become a Silent Brother. Kit knew he was right, could feel the hollow part of his soul that was once Ash. “It will take time for him to be alright. Give him that time.”

Kit gestured like he was writing and nearly jumped out of his bed when the pen appeared in his hand and the pad of paper on his lap. Magnus snorted and Kit stuck his tongue out at him childishly. As carefully as he could with his hands shaking and arms weighing down like lead, he wrote his request.

‘I want to see him first. Before anyone else. Please.’

Tessa sighed and run her fingers through Kit’s curls. “I’ll tell Jace. He won’t be happy.”

‘Can Jem send Ash a fire message for me?’

“You write the message and I’ll send it. If it’s my handwriting, he might ignore it.” Jem assured him and Kit nodded, pulling the notepad back and flipped to a fresh page. “No rush, though.” Kit disagreed but smiled at his dad. “He’ll understand.”

‘Ash, I know it’s hard but I really want to see you. As strange as it sounds, given I’m the one who nearly died, I need to see that you’re okay. Come by at any time, I’ll see you no matter what. At the very least, please send me a fire message through Jem if you aren’t ready to see me. Please. Kit.’ He tore the paper out and folded it, watching in silent frustration at his helplessness as Jem drew the rune and the paper was consumed by flame. He started writing again. ‘I’m not really expecting an answer, but if one comes give it to me ASAP. No matter the time, no matter the situation, even if I’m asleep. Parabatai or no, Ash is my best friend.’

Jem pulled a face but agreed and Kit relaxed. Kit needed Ash to know he was still a priority to Kit, no matter what. The doorbell echoed through the house and Tessa stood. Before she could leave the room, Kit grabbed her hand, before letting go and quickly scrawling a note.

‘I really don’t want to see anyone. No one, no exceptions. Unless it’s Ash. Too tired to deal.’ Tessa nodded and Kit smiled. ‘Thanks Mum.’

Having read Kit’s messy scrawl, Jem pulled Mina away from Kit, holding the struggling toddler in his arms with a fond sigh. “Mina-mine, Kit is unwell and needs more sleep. You can bother him tomorrow.” With that, he strode quickly from the room as Mina began to shriek and wail.

“I should take my leave too.” Magnus spoke quietly, clearly pitching his voice to be inaudible to anyone who wasn’t Kit. “The wards around Cirenworth are keeping the Unseelie out, but Kieran and Adaon visit me and Alec daily for updates on you. I’ll pass a message if you want?”

Kit pulled a fresh piece of paper, considering before beginning to write in Faerie. ‘My King, I have awoken but I truly have lost my Sight and my magic, and my voice has been taken too. Once I have recovered more, I will try to visit somehow. If you wish to pass me a message, I am sure Magnus or Mark would find a way to get the message to me. Tied by blood or no, I consider you my family. If it pleases you, please continue to treat me as such. Your cousin, Kit.’

Magnus took the letter with a secretive smile. “As strange as it sounds, the fact you recall Faerie is a very good sign. If you lost that, I’d be less hopeful that you might be able to recover entirely. I haven’t told Tessa and Jem – but I don’t think you’re a lost cause yet. Try not to give up hope.”

Kit smiled as Magnus tucked the letter into his pocket and dropped a glittering wink at Kit. As he closed the door, Kit heard Manus speak to someone on the other side of the door but Kit’s eyes were heavy. He settled back and curled in on himself. Kit heard the door open and felt a hand in his hair, even could vaguely hear someone calling his name, but he was already asleep.

Kit woke up the next day to his little sister clambering onto his bed, shaking him until he opened his arms and pulled her into a hug. She snuggled into his chest and Kit smiled sleepily, pressing a kiss to her hair. She giggled and squirmed until Kit sat up and she tumbled backwards.

“Kit-Kat, I missed you!” She clambering back up to him and pulled his face down until his forehead touched hers. “You were here but not here and I missed you.” Kit hummed and Mina let him go with a pout.

“Mina, I told you an evil sea-witch stole Kit’s voice.” Tessa sounded scandalised but Kit could see the supressed grin in her eyes. “Until he’s kissed by his true love, like Ariel, remember?”

“I thought you were telling a story!” Mina gasped, before blinking owlishly at Kit. Kit nodded, putting on a sad face. “We need to find your Prince Eric!”

She leapt from his bed, pulling at his arm until he staggered to his feet. When he straightened up, he stumbled back in shock, letting out a choked gasp as he fell backwards onto his bed. Tessa rushed to him, passing him the notepad and asking what was wrong, what was hurting. Kit only needed to write a few words.

‘William fucking Herondale.’ Tessa made a choking sound, staring intently at him.

Will’s ghost was floating beside Tessa, eyes sorrowful but his usual mischievous grin firmly in place. “You’ve lost your Sight but you can still see me, huh?” His Welsh lilt was more pronounced than usual, suggesting he was actually concerned about him. “I am glad to see you’re okay, though.”

“You can still see ghosts?” Tessa asked in disbelief and Kit nodded, as shocked as her. He’d figured his ability to see ghosts would disappear along with his Voyance rune but the grinning face of Will told him otherwise. “I did not expect that. What’s he harassing you about?”

‘Checking up on me – are all Herondales this clucky?’ Will made a disgusted sound and Kit grinned.

“Oh, that reminds me!” Tessa clicked her fingers. Will made another horrified noise as he realised Tessa wasn’t going to defend him. “Jace snuck past me last night and got into your room before we could stop him. He said you were asleep though…”

At least he knew who it was now. Kit offered Tessa a sheepish grin, shrugging. ‘Was asleep. I fell asleep as Magnus left, tbh.’ Tessa huffed a laugh and pressed a kiss to his forehead. His stomach grumbled and Mina and Tessa both laughed at him. ‘Breakfast please!’

Tessa helped Kit stagger down the stairs, almost running in to Jem, who was jogging up the stairs, a charred piece of paper clutched in his hand. Kit’s heart flipped in his chest when Jem handed the paper to him, the familiar scrawl filling Kit with warmth.

‘Kit, first off, don’t ignore Jace, he sulk at me through my door FOR HOURS. Stupid dramatic Herondales.’ Kit grinned. ‘He’s planning to drag me through the portal this afternoon. I might not be much fun though. Ash.’ Ash had sketched a stick figure of Jace banging on his door and Kit grinned, showing Tessa.

After breakfast, Kit had been dragged by Mina to watch The Little Mermaid – for ‘research’ on how to get Kit’s voice back from the ‘evil witch’ – but he had pretty quickly fallen asleep. As he woke up, he could hear Mina telling someone about her plan to help get Kit’s voice back – and how this unknown person needs to help her. A soft laugh drove the final vestiges of sleep from him and he nearly launched himself at Ash.

“I missed you too.” Ash whispered, wrapping his arms around Kit tightly. The warmth in Ash’s voice filled the hole in Kit’s heart. Kit couldn’t prevent the tears that burnt behind his eyelids and a phantom pain flickered in his soul. “Mina mentioned an evil witch, stolen voices and true love’s kiss?” Ash’s voice shook with supressed laughter and Kit groaned. “No voice means I might finally get a word in edgewise!” Behind them, Kit could hear his parents and Jace cracking up, and finally Ash broke too, falling into giggles. Kit tried to glare at them, but allowed a fond smile to creep over him lips. “Your Herondale sensibilities must be so offended, Jace – Kit can’t demand all the attention anymore.”

“A true Herondale will find a way!” Jace declared and Kit sighed loudly. Before Kit could escape, Jace strode up, immediately putting Kit is a chokehold, eliciting a yelp from Kit. “Were you pretending to sleep yesterday when I came to visit, you little shit?”

Kit struggled to get loose, typing a frantic ‘No!’ on his phone and waving it under Jace’s nose. Jace let him go with a sound of disbelief and Kit could see the hurt hiding in his eyes. Kit quickly typed another message, desperate not to hurt his cousin. ‘I fell asleep as Magnus left. I felt you come in, but I was too close to sleep. Magnus said I’ll probably lose energy really quick.’ As if to prove his point, when Jace stepped back from him, Kit wavered and swayed on his feet, exhaustion hitting him like a wrecking ball. He was only saved by Ash stepping closer to prop him up. ‘Just tired, sorry.’

Ash guided Kit back to the couch, flopping lazily beside him and gesturing for Mina to climb up too. “Sleep then, you idiot. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Kit struggled to keep his eyes open, against the warm comfort, not ready to let Ash out of his sight. After a moment of attempting to resist, he sleepily managed to type out ‘please don’t go’.

Chapter Text

“Did Magnus say when Kit will start speaking again? Or is it a case of if, not when?” Jace’s voice was quiet, clearly stressed by the concept and Kit felt Ash tense under him. Kit was slumped on Ash’s shoulder, where he’d fallen asleep. “Do you know what’s causing it?”

“Magnus’ theory is the combination of physical, emotional and magical trauma has temporarily made Kit unable to speak. He hopes it is short term.” Jem’s voice was soft as well, but his sigh had a lot of weight. Kit probably should have let them know he was awake, but he knew they’d stop speaking about it if he were awake. “Magnus keeps avoiding my questions about magical trauma –about the severity of Kit’s trauma and the permanence of the damage.”

Tessa hummed quietly and Kit heard her shift, moving around and pressing a kiss to Kit’s temple. “He saw Will this morning – so he still has that kind of magical sight.” Tessa’s words seemed to have a strong effect on Ash, a shudder running through him. “He seemed shocked, like he didn’t expect to see ghosts anymore. I don’t think he expects to get his Sight back.” Kit could hear the sounds of Tessa bustling out and the door closing quietly behind her.

Mindful of Kit ‘asleep’ on his shoulder, Ash’s voice was soft and his tone was moderated, but Kit could feel the tension coiled in him. “I know I can’t sense him the same way anymore, but something feels wrong.” Ash let out a small sigh and, for half a second, Kit imagined he was able to feel a flicker of Ash’s worry. “It feels like an itch… I thought it would go away as I got used to not having him there. But it’s like when a wound is healing and it itches so bad you want to scratch at it until it reopens. It is like that but on my soul.” Jem made a curious noise and Kit felt Ash begin to shrug, aborting the action as it moved Kit. “Sometimes I feel like the bond is still active. Did you or Will have this problem?”

“I didn’t.” Jem’s voice was pained and, if Kit wasn’t feigning sleep, he’d have given his father-figure a hug. “We still knew what the other was thinking, to a point. But it was our familiarity, not the bond.” Jem sighed again and Jace made an understanding noise. “Can you explain what you’ve felt?”

“I knew when he woke up. It felt like I was on fire and covered in ice at the same time.” Ash’s voice was amused and he didn’t know why. But then Ash continued. “I can also tell you that he’s been awake for this whole conversation, but he’s too curious about the topic to let us know. He knows we’d stop talking about it if he ‘woke up’.” Sheepishly, Kit sat up and punched Ash’s arm playfully. “Told you.”

‘First, screw you. Second, I feel the same – like I can sometimes feel the bond too.’ Kit typed and Ash read it out loud with a laugh.

“Christopher Herondale.” Jem frowned at him and Kit grinned in return. “You’re so lucky Tessa was called to the labyrinth and left before this.”

Ash leaned in and muttered to Kit in Faerie under his breath. “Before you woke, I asked if I could stay for a while.”

“Ash! No Faerie, remember?” Jace hissed at him, and Ash flushed, horrified.

“Shit, sorry! I said…” Ash started, only for Kit to grip his wrist, silencing him.

‘I still know Faerie.’ Kit typed quickly and Ash frowned, unsure.

“You can still understand me?” Ash’s voice in Faerie was always melodic, but it shook as he spoke. Kit nodded, grinned at the shock, only to feel his mind echo with happy surprise. “So, you… but you… I thought you picked it up so easily because of…” Ash’s voice trailed off. Jem and Jace started between the two, identical frowns of concern on their faces.

‘Don’t think too hard. Did you say you’re staying?’

Ash went pink and laughed, switching to English. “You asked me not to go. Jem and Tessa wanted me to check with you – they were worried it might be too painful and draining for us both.”

Kit was already typing before Ash finished and after a moment, he leaned over to read what Kit was typing, immediately stealing the phone and passing it to Jem. ‘Stay stay stay stay stay stay stay’…

“I guess that’s our answer.” Jem smiled fondly at them and Kit relaxed as his phone was passed back to him. “But you need to promise that you will actually rest and let us know if anything changes or it becomes too overwhelming, alright?”

Kit was surrounded by ribbons of light in every colour imaginable, flickering and pulsing in time with Kit’s heartbeat. A stream of silver shot through with the black of Ash’s wings and the acid green of his eyes twisted around his body, wrapping around him like a python attempting to kill its prey – except it felt warm, affectionate… like a hug. It felt like Ash.

The rivers of light did not touch him for long, even the one that reminded him of Ash. They darted in and brushed against him, filling him with warmth only to dart away and leave him cold. They would flicker against his skin like a snake’s tongue.

Each touch, as fleeting as they were, pulled up a memory of the Shadow World. The Shadow Market, the LA Institute, the Blackthorns, Kieran, his parents. For a panicked moment, Kit tried to clutch at the lights, terrified that they were stealing these memories from him. He nearly sobbed when one of the lights dragged forward the memory of sitting on the roof of the London Institute, holding Ty in his arms.

“No, you can’t… you can’t take them.” Kit begged the lights, flinching when memory after memory was dredged up. “You can’t have them. They’re mine. He’s mine.”

“Do not fear, little sunbeam.” A voice echoed through his mind, unfamiliar, soft and feminine… and fey. “All is not lost. You are far more than you allow yourself to be, then you expect to be.”

Kit woke with a gasp, his fingers tangled in his sheets and his body curling in on itself. He tried to take deep, calming breaths, but they sounded rough in the silence of his bedroom. A few seconds later, his door creaked open and Kit could see the moonlight glinting off Ash’s hair. He crept in and sat on the edge of Kit’s bed, flicking his bedside lamp on and passing Kit his phone before he spoke, knowing what Kit needed.

“Are you alright?” Ash kept his voice low. “I just had a feeling you needed me.”

‘Nightmare.’ Kit typed and Ash made a sympathetic noise. ‘Well, maybe nightmare isn’t right, a weird dream. But I’m glad you’re here.’

Kit tugged on the sleeve of Ash’s jumper, until they were sitting side-by-side against Kit’s headboard. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Then Ash twisted to face Kit, clearly desperate to ask Kit a question.

“Why didn’t you think I’d come visit? Plus, I got the vibe from Jem you didn’t even expect a response.” Ash sounded hurt and Kit flinched. “Did I do something? If I ignored a text, I broke my phone a week ago and Clary is making me work to get a new one…”

‘I didn’t text, I honestly didn’t even think to.’ Ash read over his shoulder and laughed softly. ‘As for why I didn’t expect you – when I woke up, Tessa said you hadn’t come past. And when you caught me, you couldn’t get away from me quick enough.’

Ash’s voice caught and broke as he spoke. “Fuck, I couldn’t bare seeing you just lying there, all broken!” His voice climbed in octave, and he sunk his head into his hands, entire body shaking. “You couldn’t have seen what you looked like when you fell! You… you didn’t look like yourself. There were veins of magic burning under your skin, your blood looked green. Your pupils were pin-pricks, you were crying tears of blood and your runes were glowing like embers and dissolving as we watched!” He’d switched into Faerie at some point, speaking faster and faster until it was nearly incomprehensible. Kit pulled Ash into a hug as he began to sob. “Kit, as selfish as it sounds I couldn’t… just looking at you hurt. Plus, I couldn’t… I couldn’t feel the bond and I was freaking out.” Kit held him tighter and Ash finally returned the hug, burying his face in Kit’s shoulder. “It looked like you were dying and I couldn’t watch. I just couldn’t force myself to watch you dying after I’d already felt it.”

Kit just ran his fingers through Ash’s hair comfortingly, trying to say without words, without making him read it, that he understood. Ash tightened his hold in response. It felt like the scar that had once been their rune were burning, and both boys flinched, pulling away. Both of their collarbones were weeping blood in the shape of the parabatai rune. Kit stared in shock at Ash, mouthing ‘what the fuck’ at the equally bewildered boy.

After a second of shocked silence, Ash rocketed to his feet and shot down the hallway, banging strongly on the door to Tessa and Jem’s bedroom. For a moment, Kit felt the full strength of the parabatai bond, and he was suddenly flooded with hope, fear and worry. From the hall, Kit heard a gasp and thump, and Kit immediately leapt out of his bed to see Ash on his knees, clutching desperately at his chest with tears rolling down his cheeks. As Kit stood frozen, the door swung open to reveal Jem, blinking sleepily at them.

The moment he saw the blood on each of them and the pain of Ash’s face, he snapped into action, now entirely awake. He knelt by Ash, tilting the boy’s face to meet his eyes, checking for injuries or an obvious cause of pain. When Jem looked at Kit for an explanation, Kit just pointed at his bloody collarbone, then between the two of them.

“Your bond?” Jem’s eyes widened.

“Yes.” Ash managed to gasp out before twisting on his knees to look at Kit. “How the fuck are you able to move? How can you act like you’re fine, that you’re not in excruciating pain?” Ash’s voice shook painfully and Kit’s heart constricted painfully. “Jesus fuck, Kit!”

Jem seemed to flinch away from the injured boy and Kit felt his stomach drop. Fuck, the looks on both of their faces was too hard for him to deal with. Kit had left his phone on his bed when he’d heard Ash fall, so he ran to get it, typing as he walked back over to them – looking up to see Jem carefully tracing an iratze on Ash’s skin, with Ash sitting as still as a statue, even with Church the demon-cat swiping at his knees. Kit shooed the cat away and knelt beside Ash, pressing the phone into Ash’s hand.

‘Between Tessa and Magnus, so many pain potions. I can’t feel it, I swear.’ Ash nodded and leant against Kit heavily, a full-body shudder causing Kit to grip at Ash uselessly. ‘Dad – this is too strong, way stronger than it was before.’ He tossed Jem his phone and leant into Ash, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“If it’s stronger than it used to be, I might have to rush the Silent Brothers. I wrote them earlier about you both feeling the bond without the rune.” Jem helped them both to stand, watching as Ash leant heavily on Kit. “Don’t wipe away the blood – I’ll send them a fire message now.”

Kit helped Ash to the conservatory, gesturing at the beautiful starry sky outside. Ash smiled blearily, still dazed from the flash of pain. When Kit turned back towards the kitchen to get them food and a warm drink, Jem was leaning in the door frame, a potion in his hands and frowning deeply. Jem moved with him into the kitchen, only handing him the potion and frowning until he downed the potion.

“You lied to him. I forgot to make you drink this with dinner. Why didn’t you tell me you were in pain?” Kit shrugged, turning to face Jem. Jem shook his head and sighed heavily. “Brother Enoch and another Brother will be here in an hour – they’re very curious.”

Kit typed in his phone as he waited for the kettle to boil. ‘Honestly Dad, I don’t feel it. Too used to pain, I guess. I feel spikes of pain but my threshold for pain is high enough that I don’t feel it. Ash was already freaking out. Do you know how much worse it would have been for him if I said that instead?’ Jem froze, reading the message with pained eyes.

Jem pulled Kit into a gentle hug, and Kit could feel Jem trembling. “How often do you plan to make me empathise with what I put Will through?”

Kit heard Will’s chuckle and looked up to see the ghost floating by Jem’s shoulder. “Tell him that I forgave him, so he has to forgive you too.” Will’s eyes were soft and Kit typed Will’s message for Jem. “Good parabatai care for their parabatai more than for themselves.”

Jem chuckled. “That’s Will for you. Your choice to value Ash’s feelings over anything else is such a Herondale trait.” Kit grabbed the drinks and snacks, facing Jem with a cheeky grin – words not needed to convey how okay he was with Jem’s assessment. That was one part of the Herondale personality he was fine with. “But no more suffering in… well, silence. Alright?” Kit nodded.

The two Silent Brothers glided in with their usual eerie grace and immediately Kit and Ash were separated. The anxiety of being separated meant Kit struggled to focus on Brother Enoch, even as his words echoed in Kit’s mind with their usual detached care.

“Christopher Herondale, Zachariah told us about your lost voice. You need only think your answers.” Kit agreed silently and Enoch inclined his head. “You believe your parabatai bond with Ash Fairchild did not sever when the rune disappeared? Tell us what you have experienced?”

Distractedly, Kit ran through everything he’d felt in the two days since he woke up, with particular focus on what had happened earlier in the night. Enoch’s scarred face and mental voice gave nothing away as he plied Kit with questions about what he felt. The examination of the blood on his shirt in the shape of his rune and the scar of the rune still dripping blood then led to what felt like ninety million more questions, and Kit battled valiantly to answer coherently as something in the back of Kit’s mind buzzed – every instinct telling him something was wrong.

All of a sudden, a blinding burst of pain flared through the bond and Kit fell to his knees with a scream. For a moment, Enoch reeled backwards, wincing at the mental barrage and clearly confused. Another wave of pain had Kit staggering drunkenly to his feet, and running to the door of the room the other Silent Brother had led Ash to earlier. When Kit burst through the door, he saw red.

Ash was collapsed in a graceless heap on the ground, blood on his arm and taking great big rasping breaths, back arching in pain. Jem followed him in, taking the scene in and immediately he forced the Silent Brother away from Ash, blade out and teeth gritted. Kit knelt beside Ash, pulling him into a sitting position and making soothing noises. Enoch knelt by Ash’s other side, sweeping his stele over the blood and Ash sagged against Kit heavily. Enoch then traced an iratze on his arm, directly above the blood.

“How could you use a pain rune on an innocent?” Jem was several inches shorter than the Silent Brother, but he certainly seemed larger with his anger. The words hit Kit after a second and he had to swallow back bile. “Why would you let his suffering continue after you heard Kit scream? Other than causing my son pain as well– you best have learned a lot because you will not touch either of them again!”

“I do not know about our Brother, but observing Christopher as the pain from the rune hit him taught me much.” Both Kit and Ash flinched at the noise of Enoch in their minds, and Kit silent pleaded with him to be quieter. “And before you ask, Zachariah, you know well I would not have approved of the use of that rune without warning both parties.”

“Was it worth it?” Ash rasped and Kit grit his teeth. He wanted to scream that no knowledge was worth Ash’s pain, but he knew he would have asked the same question if the position was reversed. Probably feeling Kit’s anger, Ash gripped Kit’s hand, whispering in Faerie for him to remain calm. “What did you learn from us?”

“When you experienced pain, I could sense Christopher’s mind respond exactly as a parabatai’s would, except as if he himself was experiencing it. Even now, his blood is humming with Angelic power – yet when we began, he was little more than a mundane.” Enoch’s words took all of the fight from Jem and he stepped away from the other Brother. “Again, pre-empting your question, Zachariah, I do not know if the power is related to the bond or if it is a sign his blood might reactivate.”

Kit helped Ash stand, the other boy leaning heavily on him, and he glared darkly at the Silent Brothers. Kit turned to Enoch and tapped his temple, and he felt the pressure that felt like fingers pressing into his mind. His words projected to both Brothers and Jem. “I’m happy to be checked to ensure you find answers – but Ash is not to be hurt again or I will purposefully throw off any results.”

Neither Ash nor Kit got any more sleep that night, even though both of dozed intermittently. Kit’s nerves felt frayed and he could feel the concern Ash held for him as sharply he felt his own concern for Ash. The turmoil left both of them too wired to sleep properly.

Instead, Jem set them up in the living room, and the three of them watched bad comedies in moderate silence. Slowly, the sun rose and bean to throw light throughout the house. With a sigh, Jem forced himself to his feet, as he knew Mina would soon be awake and demanding a walk to the town nearby. He ruffled Ash’s hair affectionately and pulled Kit into a loose hug before disappearing.

Finally, Ash turned to Kit and smiled weakly. “Are you okay? 1 to 10, 1 being hell no, 10 being fucking peachy.” Kit considered for a second before holding three fingers up, quickly dropping one, signalling two and a half. “Ah, I see you’re feeling ‘that’s a dumb fucking question’. I’m about the same.” Kit huffed a laughed and Ash smiled before dropping his head to Kit’s shoulder. “I heard Jem confront you about lying to me about your pain. I was mad. But after this morning, I get it. If I could have lied to you about the rune, I would have, so no hard feelings.”

Kit shifted to grab his phone and Ash rolled his eyes affectionately. ‘I don’t feel my own pain the way you did, but I definitely felt yours. I swear on whatever will make you believe me, I don’t feel that much pain. I’ve gotten used to it.’ Ash read as he typed, his face twisting in a frown, but he nodded reluctantly. ‘I wish you didn’t feel it. I got to feel your hope and concern for me, you had to suffer my pain.’

Chapter Text

Ash and Kit lounged in front of the TV for the rest of the morning, welcoming Mina and Jem into their makeshift pillow and blanket fort. Kit made Ash watch his favourite Disney films, Mina and Jem also watching with interest. As lunch rolled around, Jem revealed the spoils of his and Mina’s morning walk – a heap of bakery food that made Kit giddy with happiness.

Their lazy afternoon was cut through with an insistent ringing of the doorbell, and Jem crawled out of the fort with a sigh. “Before I go answer, are you up to visitors?” Kit shrugged in response and Jem sighed. “I’ll check with you depending on who it is?” Kit grinned and nodded, and Jem rolled his eyes in the way that suited someone who had both been a parent to and parabatai of a Herondale.

After a few minutes, raised voices echoed through the entrance hall to Kit and Ash, nearly rousing Mina from her nap. Kit met Ash’s eyes and groaned; the likelihood was high that it was someone being grumpy about not being allowed to see Kit straight away. They both clambered to their feet and made their way to the door to the hall. Casually, Kit leant against the doorframe, watching as Jem endeavoured to prevent Dru and Tavvy from rushing past and calm Julian and Mark as they insisted on seeing Kit. Emma was standing to the side silently, biting back a laugh at the scene. Ash shot Kit an amused look and Kit rolled his eyes in response.

“We just want to see him, Jem!” Julian sounded exasperated and Kit had to bite his lip to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “It’s not like we’re going to do anything.”

“I’m not saying no, Julian! I’m asking you let me check with him first!” Jem sounded so put out that Kit decided to intervene, no matter how funny watching Jem trying to do Blackthorn crowd control was. He cleared his throat loudly, causing Jem to turn to face him. Kit waved cheekily at the Blackthorns and gave Jem a small smile, letting him know it was fine. “Okay, clearly, he’s okay with it. But when he says he’s done, he’s done. Magnus has threatened to turn anyone who doesn’t respect that into toads.” He stepped to the side of the hall as Tavvy and Dru threw themselves at Kit.

After roughly a thousand hugs, a hundred gentle punches and more than a few attempts to ruffle his hair, the Blackthorns and Kit were settled in the living room, with Jem and Ash having given them space by taking Mina up to bed to nap properly. When they reappeared, they leaned in the doorway to the kitchen, watching with veiled concern in their eyes.

After a long moment, Julian sighed and met Kieran’s eyes seriously. “Kieran told us you lost your voice.” Behind him, Jem raised an eyebrow, clearly wondering how Kieran knew. “I’m also supposed to apologise for Jaime and Ty. They were made to return to the Scholomance last week for a mission. They argued with Diego for hours about returning, Diego got mad, they got mad, and eventually I promised them both I’d let them know when you woke up and how you were.” Kit swallowed a laugh and Julian smiled.

“Kieran and Adaon wanted me to pass on a letter, but… it’s in Faerie.” Mark looked uncomfortable, the curled letter in his hands. Kit reached his hands out, grabbing for the letter.

“Kit remembers Faerie.” Ash spoke quietly and Mark handed over the letter with a look of surprise. “No doubt, Kit will provide you with messages for Ty, Jaime and Kieran.” The clear teasing in Ash’s voice made Kit stick his tongue out at him, and Ash responded in kind.

‘Little one, do not stress about us. Stay safe within your wards and recover. I take heart that you wrote me and in Faerie. Magnus warns that you are not well, but I hold out hope. As you stated, blood does not matter – you are and forever will be my little cousin. I hold you in my heart, Kieran.’ Below, in slightly neater handwriting, the letter continued. ‘Little cousin, once you are well enough to leave the wards, I wish to check on you myself. Magnus informs me you have ‘serious magical trauma’. I have provided him with an elixir that will strengthen any fey magic remaining, if you wish to try it. Adaon.’

Kit grinned, throwing the letter to Ash for him to translate it for Jem. Julian settled properly on the couch beside him, relaxing against the cushions with a heavy sigh. Emma perched on the other side of Julian with a 1000-watt smile, but even she looked drained. They all did, all of them. Jem and Ash did too. For a moment, Kit imagined he could see flickering auras of light that dimmed and disappeared in the second it took Kit to blink. As Ash and Jem caught the Blackthorns up on the drama of the night, Kit felt himself begin to fade, feeling almost like the exhaustion from the others drained him as well. After a few minutes of fighting it, Kit’s head dropped onto Julian’s shoulder and he fell asleep.

When he woke again, the bland, glamoured face of Magnus was hovering above him, and he jerked away in shock until he remembered. He poked Magnus’s cheek with a frown and Magnus cackled before the features flickered and changed to be the right ones. Luckily the darkened room made it hard to see the eyes that Kit knew were wrong, the sun was clearly on the way to setting.

“How do you feel? One to ten fingers as a rating.” His voice was gentle and he smiled when Kit held up seven fingers. “Did Mark give you the letter from Kieran and Adaon?” Kit nodded. “Adaon said he would warm you about the elixir, did he?” Another nod, but less emphatic. Kit didn’t think warn was the right word. “He’s warned me it will taste like soil and, if you have any fey magic left, you’ll feel like electricity is coursing through you. It… how did he put it?” Magnus put on a haughty expression and mimicked the tone of Adaon’s voice. “The elixir will intensify and purify any fey nature for a short period.”

Kit gave a thumbs up, trying not to laugh at Magnus’ mimicry of his older cousin. Magnus passed him a small glass vial of a sparkling green liquid that smelt exactly like freshly moved grass and moss in the forest. Before he could second guess himself, he downed the liquid and shuddered. It did taste like soil, but Kit felt the immediate sensation of his magic flooding him, and the room lit up, and Kit just knew he was glowing. Magnus called for Jem and Tessa, smiling fondly at Kit as he played with the sparks of magic in his fingers.

“How?” Jace managed to stutter out, coming in behind Tessa and Jem. His gold eyes were glinting in Kit’s magic and he looked awed. “I thought his magic was gone?”

“It’s a fey elixir.” Magnus ran his hand down Kit’s arm, his blue magic wrapping around Kit’s arm probing, checking. “It’s only temporary. Adaon wanted to check if all of Kit’s fey nature was gone, or if it was just dormant.” Jem leaned forward and Tessa raised an eyebrow at Kit. “If it was totally gone, nothing would have happened. If it was reduced, we would have been relying on just what Kit felt.” Kit was beginning to grin, relief settling over him. “If they were dormant, Adaon described a faint glow. Not Mr Glow Stick here.”

Kit struggled not to react, shock and hope warring in him. Ash swung himself over the back of the couch, and the Blackthorns peeked around the conservatory wall. Ash draped an arm around Kit’s shoulders, grounding him as people began to throw theories around. Ash’s other hand grabbed Kit’s wrist and Kit could feel his magic seek out Kit’s.

“Holy fuck!” Ash yelped, pulling away and shaking his hand. Julian made a sound of protest and glancing behind him to where Tavvy was. “His magic is stronger! What the hell?”

Everyone stopped and faced them, variations of shock in their faces. From behind Julian, Jaime, Ty and Dru entered the room, eyes wide. Jaime looked worried but Ty looked like he’d pieced puzzle pieces together. Magnus raised an eyebrow at Ty as he approached, smiling at Kit gently. He whispered “Livvy’s gone” to Magnus and understanding hit him too.

“If I have this right…” Ty’s voice was soft but assured, “Kit’s magic is based on the balance of natural magic?” He looked at Ash and Kit and he smiled when both of them nodded. “Well, when Kit destroyed the Seelie Queen’s spell, it reduced the protections around sections of the blight and damage the cohort has done to the natural magic around Brocelind. Over the past month, the Scholomance has been working with the Downworlder Alliance to undo some of the damage to the ley lines. Could that have…?”

“Yes.” It barely registered to Kit that the broken raspy voice was his. It only occurred to him when Ash’s fingers found his wrist and he squeezed. “The Seelie Queen… she said my magic was… damaged? Decayed?” Kit tried to remember what she’d said but trying to force the memory to the surface was difficult. His throat hurt, the feeling of his magic being back was overwhelming and Ty was right there. “Maybe I never had my full power?” His voice cracked painfully and Kit dissolved into a painful coughing fit. Before he could stop coughing, Tessa handed him a glass of water and smiled.

Ty hovered beside Magnus, just out of Kit’s reach, eyes watching Kit intently. “How do you feel? Are you alright?” Kit shrugged a little hesitantly, not sure how to explain it. “What’s the matter?” Ty’s eyes flashed with concern.

“Is something wrong?” Magnus raised an eyebrow, magic flickering as he searched for anything he’d missed, even as Jace and Tessa seemed to tense up. “Are you in pain?”

Kit shook his head. “No I’m okay, it’s just… I can already feel my magic fading.” Magnus nodded, understanding in his eyes. “I guess I didn’t realise how… empty I feel without my power. I was so focused on how wrong it felt to not sense Ash, to not see what I knew was there… I guess I never really considered how wrong everything else felt?”

Jem flinched like the pain of remembering losing a parabatai was fresh wound, but Tessa nodded in understanding, pulling Kit into a gentle hug. Julian and Mark both offered him pained smiles, both of them had needed to survive losses so they understood that numb feeling that came from it. Ash leant against him comfortingly and Jaime had a fiercely protective look in his eyes that defied anyone to try to hurt him. But the look in Ty’s eyes, the flash of silver fire that screamed concerned affection, made Kit’s heart swell.

A lump formed in Kit’s throat as the glow under his skin began to disappear, the energy he’d been flooded with draining at the same pace. “I’m sorry.” Kit’s voice rasped painfully and it hit him he was losing his voice once again. For fuck’s sake, could he not catch a break? “I keep worrying you all…” He coughed painfully and sighed. “I think I’m losing my voice again.”

Sure enough, Kit’s voice locked itself away as his power faded. The last sparks of power fizzled out and Kit felt himself sag. He hadn’t even noticed the runes reappear but they faded all over again, and the sharpness in his vision blurred again. He fell into Tessa, and she made a sad sound as she wrapped him in a warmer hug. His energy was entirely gone.

“Sleep love.” Tessa whispered into his hair, and Kit hummed sleepily. “Everyone will be here when you wake.”

Kit’s dreams were full of the twisting snakes of light, magic wrapping around him comfortingly as he fell into pieces. It hurt to be around the magic he could not feel when he was awake. The rivers of light twisted around him, pressing against him like hugs. The one that felt like Ash seemed to throb against him, as though Ash was feeling Kit’s hurt.

The sweet, feminine voice from his previous dream spoke to him again. “Little sunbeam, you will become more. You are more than you know.” He could hear the smile in the voice. “But you will be.”

“When?” Kit whispered into the air. “I just want to feel like myself again.”

The golden magic around him coalesced into the form of a woman, blonde hair flowing around her, her sparkling eyes and face seemed ageless. When her pointed ears appeared below her hair, it hit Kit that this was his ancestor, the First Heir.

“Auraline…” Kit breathed. She smiled beatifically at him.

“When you are ready to be.”

And Kit woke.

“Is he going to recover?” Ty’s voice was soft and worried. “Something about him seems… I don’t know, like something is missing. Or like he’s lost.”

“Things have been very tough for him, Ty.” Magnus’ voice was hesitant, like he was worried about the words would hurt Ty. “There’s pieces of him he can’t reach, so lost is probably a good word for how he feels. But he’s stronger than any of us have ever given him credit for – I’m sure he’ll…”

Kit sat up and cleared his throat, causing both Magnus and Ty to flinch. He had been left to sleep on the couch, and the house was dark and quiet. Kit was amused to see both of them looked shamed at being caught talking about him, but he pulled out his phone, typing a quick message and throwing the phone to Magnus before stretching. Ty looked like he was torn between fleeing the room and sinking into the couch before Kit. Kit took the choice for him, reaching out and tugging him to sit beside him.

Magnus read the message out loud, answering as he went. “Firstly, lost, broken, missing – all those words work. You aren’t broken, Christopher. Secondly, where is everyone? Asleep, it’s 3am. Ty and I woke from weird dreams, and individually chose to check on you.” Kit grinned, leaning against Ty. “Finally, can you pass a message to Adaon for me – let him know what happened with the elixir? Already done, I went home briefly last night, Adaon was waiting. He’s all but asked me to kidnap you.” Kit raised an eyebrow and Magnus grinned. “Alec bought the kids with him, they’re all here now. They insisted on joining me this time, since I told them you were doing okay.”

Kit had to grant Magnus that – Rafe and Max both had an affection for him that Kit still struggled to understand, but they made it clear. Plus, they loved Mina, so it would likely be helpful to have them here. But before he could think of a reply, he heard the second last step creak and he grabbed a pillow from beside him and, shocking both Ty and Magnus, flung it in the face of Ash as he rounded the corner.

“Pleasant, Kit. Love you too, you absolute jackass.” Ash grinned, flopping on the other side of Kit to Ty like a dramatic bitch. “Another weird dream, huh?” Kit hummed in agreement and Ash sighed deeply. “Same one? No, similar one?” Kit nodded and Ash ran his fingers through Kit’s sleep-tousled curls.

“Weird dreams?” Magnus raised an eyebrow and Kit grabbed his phone back.

‘Not prophetic. I keep dreaming of Auraline, of my magic. She keeps saying I’m more than I let myself be.’ Ash read out his words as he typed, eyebrow raising with each word. ‘One dream felt coincidental, two isn’t. I didn’t tell Enoch, it’s something I want to ask Adaon about.’

“Brother Enoch? Why was a Silent Brother here?” Ty sounded on the verge of panic and Kit ran his thumb over his knuckles comfortingly. “Are you okay?”

Ash laughed uncomfortably. “Our parabatai bond seems to be returning… but, like, way stronger. Normally you know what the other is feeling but, outside of very specific situations, you can’t feel it. But Kit and I are… feeling what each other is feeling, but sharper.” Ash managed to not sound as freaked out as Kit could tell he was.

“Your bond is returning?” Alec questioned from behind them, and he rounded to couch to lean into Magnus sleepily. “Did the Silent Brothers have any theories about that?”

Kit nodded and Ash sighed before speaking. “Enoch said that when he began talking to Kit, he was little more than a mundane but, when our bond flared up, his angelic blood activated.”

Kit passed Ash his phone to read his message out to the group before leaning back into the pillows, relishing in the gentle press of Ty’s fingers in his. ‘He suggested my blood is slowly reactivating, like we now know my fey blood is. But it’ll take time.’

Chapter Text

And time it did take. Months passed, it was verging on half a year, and every time it got close to being safe for Kit, something prevented him from leaving the wards. Between the Seelie Queen and the Cohort, something would always happen that made Tessa, Jem, Jace or Alec decide to delay his visits to New York.

Ash stayed. The whole time, Ash stayed, their bond flaring intermittently. But most of the others had dropped past whenever they could. From day long sessions of D’n’D with Simon to watching old reruns of Project Runway with Magnus, Kit was rarely alone or bored.

But, over the last few weeks, Kit’s magic had begun to return, begun to spark inside him. And he was desperately concealing the fact. Ash just frowned at him every time he turned the Silent Brothers or warlocks away when they came to examine him. But then he began turning away visitors, not letting Jace, Simon or the Blackthorns in.

The reality was that the dreams of Auraline had grown darker, her comforting turned to warning him that his magic was too strong, more dangerous than before. The dream’s natural twists of his magic had gone from pure gold to tarnished bronze, rusted, corrupted. Auraline went from beautiful and carefree to decomposing and bitter. He hadn’t told Magnus, he’d planned to, but he’d always chickened out.

“Why?” Ash’s voice was harsh and it shook Kit out of his reverie. Kit turned to see Ash leaning against the side of the couch, looking frustrated. “I don’t get why you won’t tell them your magic is coming back. Why do you keep sending people away?” As Kit reached for his phone, Ash slapped his hand away. “Use your voice, Kit! Speak to me, stop pretending your voice isn’t back!” Ash’s voice cracked with anger and Kit flinched away from him. Ash’s eyes softened slightly, but Kit could see the rage, the confusion underneath. “Please, Kit.” His voice was pleading, cajoling him for the truth.

“Okay.” Kit rasped, voice barely audible. While his voice had returned a few days ago, it sounded like he’d gargled sandpaper, and it felt about the same, so he continued to stay silent. “The truth is I’m scared. You felt it, my magic is stronger, but I don’t know how strong. I want to speak to Adaon about it but they keep delaying my visit to New York.”

“If they were aware that you had your magic back, they wouldn’t be so fucking overprotective!”

“If they knew how little control I have, I’d never be allowed to leave!” Kit grabbed Ash, pulling him to sit with him. “I’m scared, Ash. I’m afraid of myself!”

“Give yourself more credit, Kit.” The quiet confidence in Ash’s voice melted some of the ice in Kit’s veins. “Your power has always been dangerous, your control was great at the end, but definitely not at first.” Kit groaned and leaned heavily on Ash’s shoulder.

“I know.” He said, voice cracking painfully. “And Adaon taught me that control.”

“I’ll see if I can find a way for you to see Adaon.” Ash promised.

Two days later, Ash grabbed Kit’s wrist and dragged him out of the house, towards the edge of Cirenworth that bordered the woods. Kit tensed as Ash walked towards the wards, tugging on Kit’s arm. For a moment, Kit imagined stepping through the wards, ice settled in his stomach, and he froze.

“Kit, Adaon is here,” Ash murmured. “He agreed to meet you in the woods close to the wards, and there will be Knights and Red Caps standing guard.” Ash sounded desperate, a plea in his voice. “You said you needed Adaon, I’m trying… I just want…” His voiced faded.

“I know.” Kit squeezed his hand and Ash turned away to hide his expression. “Thank you, Ash.”

With that he stepped through the wards, anxiety thrumming through him. When he first stepped through, his vision swam and, before his vision cleared, he was seized in a tight, warm hug. Adaon stepped away for a moment, gripping Kit’s shoulders, and his eyes suspiciously bright. His voice was joyful and Kit felt a little the anxiety wash away.

“Little one, I have missed you!” Adaon hugged him again and this time Kit leaned in, resting his head against Adaon’s shoulder. “The King and I have not stopped thinking of you. When the Seelie Prince wrote asking me to come to you, stating his belief that you needed me…” His arms tightened slightly around Kit before he let him go, “I do not believe I have ever moved so fast.”

Kit turned to face Ash, to thank him, but he’d disappeared. With a sigh he turned to face Adaon again, keeping his voice low and in Faerie. “I do need you. My powers are returning to me but…”

“Your cousin did not inform us of this!” Adaon sounded offended.

“He does not know; I have told none but Ash. My magic is stronger, less controlled.” Adaon made a noise of understanding and Kit smiled, ‘this was why I wanted Adaon’ his brain whispered. “I have been dreaming of Auraline. She at first reassured me that I would recover, but she now warns me I am too dangerous, too powerful.” Kit felt like his skin was crawling, unable to meet Adaon’s eye. “I am beginning to fear myself.”

Adaon pulled Kit to sit on the ground in front of him. “I have taught you control once, I can do so once more, beloved cousin. I do not fear you or your power. I have trust in you.”

By the time Kit staggered back through the wards, the sun was beginning to set and Kit felt like every drop of energy, magical and otherwise, had been wrung from him. Adaon had given him another hug and promised to return in a week to continue the training, and Kit felt, for the first time since his powers returned, that maybe he wasn’t going to hurt everyone around him.

Kit was so stuck in his head that, when a hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder tightly, Kit yelped. The hand spun Kit to face its owner and, when his tired eyes finally focused, he found a panicked Jace, eyes wide, hair tousled and breathing heavy enough that Kit knew he’d been running around.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Jace glared at him, worry turning his voice into a rasp. “By the Angel Kit, you’ve been missing for hours and Ash wouldn’t tell us where you were! Where the fuck is your phone?”

“Sorry, Jace.” Kit slurred tiredly, and Jace froze when Kit spoke. Belatedly, Kit realised Jace didn’t know his voice had returned. “Ash asked Adaon to meet me in the woods since my power has been returning but I can’t control it and Ash was getting frustrated because I was afraid of hurting people so I kept refusing to see people.” Kit knew he was rambling, but he was too tired to care. Exhausted, he swayed in Jace’s grip. “Adaon has to teach me control from the basics again. Ah, and you don’t need to worry about us being unsafe, there was a whole bunch of Unseelie Knights and redcaps guarding us. Plus, Adaon gives really warm hugs.”

Jace blinked at him for a moment, clearly processing the slurred rambling. For a moment Kit worried he’d kept speaking in Faerie, but Jace tugged him into a hug. “Your voice, your powers… why didn’t you tell me? Wait, never mind. Don’t answer.” Jace pulled back and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “You seem exhausted, we – I mean… if you want to…” Jace made a strangled sound and Kit felt him take a shaky breath.

“Learning magic is exhausting.” Kit admitted quietly as they got closer to the house. Jace laughed hollowly and Kit hurt for him. “But if you’re here tomorrow, we can talk. I’m really sorry, the fact I didn’t tell you probably hurts. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Kit would have said more but they’d reached the house. Tessa and Mina were waiting for him, and they threw themselves at him as he got to them. “Sorry for scaring you, Mum. I was safe, promise.” Kit muttered into Tessa’s shoulder and she pulled back with a frown. “I’m just tired, I’ll explain tomorrow. Can I go to sleep?”

Tessa sighed and stepped aside to allow Kit to walk past. Before he hit the stairs, Ash appeared out of nowhere, bracing Kit and helping him up to his room. Kit leant heavily on him, taking solace in the quiet warmth from Ah. The bond flared for a second and Kit felt the mixture of guilt and relief warring inside Ash, so he dragged Ash into his room.

“You did the right thing, Ash.” Kit murmured, sitting heavily on his bed. “I already feel better.”

“I should have told them where you were.” Ash flopped beside him.

“It might have stopped their worry, but they would have insisted on me returning to the wards.” Kit grinned and nudged Ash. “Adaon will be coming back next week to ensure I am continuing to improve. He will speak with some of the more enlightened fey to ascertain what else can be done to assist me.”

“I’m glad. Now get some sleep, jackass.”

When Kit opened his eyes, he was surrounded again by the rivers of magic. For a moment, each of the streams ran tarnished, rusted bronze, and Kit’s heart sunk. He reached out and ran his fingers through the tarnished magic with a heavy sigh. When Kit’s fingers touched the magic it shuddered, flickered and returned to the pure gold light it has originally been.

“You are fighting for this?” Auraline formed in front of him and Kit nodded. “Why?”

“My people need me. And I am not going to hide and allow them to hurt when a little discomfort on my part could save them.” Kit bowed his head to Auraline. “I understand you are the part of me that is afraid of what I am, but if Adaon and Ash can feel my strength and not fear me, I have no reason to fear myself.”

“What if they are wrong?” Auraline arched an eyebrow in a manner that immediately reminded Kit of Jace, so it was definitely a reflection of Kit himself. “What if you are more dangerous than they are willing to believe?”

“I am more dangerous than they allow themselves to see. But my potential to be dangerous is not the issue, it has never been the issue. My cousins know I could destroy the faerie courts, the clave knows what I am capable of. And yet, the only one who has ever truly feared me is me.” Kit met her eyes and squared his shoulders. “Well, I refuse to be afraid of myself. Never again.”

Auraline smiled and touched his cheek. “Welcome back, little sunbeam. You are finally home.”

Chapter Text

Kit woke with a gasp, sunlight spilling from his skin, and he couldn’t help the smile. The door creaked open and Ash peeked in, eyes wide. After a moment he entered, sitting on the very edge of the bed with worry in his eyes. Ash’s hand brushed Kit’s cheek gently, and Kit lent into the touch. As Ash pulled his hand away, Kit realised he was crying.

“Kit, are you alright?” Ash whispered, trying to keep his voice low.

“Yes.” Kit caught a glimpse of a rune on Ash’s collarbone under his sleep shirt and his stomach tightened. At first, it was shock that his Sight was fully back. But then, Kit couldn’t believe it – it was their rune... “You are finally home.” Kit muttered in Faerie, causing Ash to freeze and frown. Kit ignored the look and raised his right hand. A choked sob caught in his throat as the soft light caught the dark lines of the Voyance rune, exactly as Ty had drawn it four years ago. “Look.”

“Your hand?” Ash looked confused for a second before he blinked, grabbing his hand and scrubbing at the rune, laughing when it didn’t budge. “Your runes!” Ash pulled his collar away and cheered way too loudly for 3 in the morning. “Our rune is back!” Ash tackled him in a hug and both of them tumbled from Kit’s bed heavily. “How? When? Why?”

“What the actual hell are you two doing? It’s the middle of the fucking night!” Jace was leaning in the doorframe, glaring sleepily at them. Ash leapt up and dragged Jace over to Kit, grabbing at Kit’s hand excitedly. “What has you all worked up?”

“Jace…” Kit whispered as Ash grinned at him. “My runes are back.” Kit couldn’t tear his eyes away from the Voyance rune, almost afraid that if he looked away it’d disappear again. He knew tears were flowing down his cheeks, but he couldn’t be bothered to scrub them away. “It’s… I’m…”

“What?” Jace peered at Kit’s hand, blinking sleepily, before a grin split his face. “When did this happen?”

“When I woke up.” Kit let Jace pull him into a hug, leaning into his cousin and just letting himself cry. Jace and Ash looked at each other in a panic. “Sorry, it’s just… I can feel the bond again, the way it should be. Everything feels right and I just…”

“I know.” Jace muttered. “I remember how that feels, it’s overwhelming. Being freed from Sebastian, sorry Ash, but it was like stepping back into sunlight after being forced to stay in the dark for ages.”

“It’s like coming home.” Kit muttered and Jace laughed in agreement.

Kit purposely wore his widest collared shirt the next morning, and Kit made sure to intentionally lean on his right hand while he watched his parents struggle to lecture him for the previous day’s disappearing act. Mina seemed to sense something was different too, so she crawled up onto Kit’s lap, clinging to him.  Kit folded his arms around his baby sister, resting his newly runed right hand on top of her head.

“Look, Kit…” Jem sighed heavily, and Kit’s heart hurt for him, seeing how tired he looked. “I get that you aren’t a child and being stuck here isn’t…” Jem’s gaze had finally landed on Kit’s hand and his voice cracked in surprise. “Wait, is that…?” Beside him, Tessa covered her mouth and let out a muffled gasp.

“Everything came back last night.” Kit smiled and grabbed Jem’s hand across the table. “Jace tested it this morning too. Witchlights work, I can bear new runes and my faerie powers are responding properly.” Tessa rounded the table and wrapped Kit in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m okay now.”

Jem joined the hug, pulling both Ash and Jace into the hug as well. “Don’t think we aren’t still upset that you scared us like that…”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Kit sat back and his parents let him go reluctantly. “I should have told you but… my voice and pieces of my magic had been back for about a week. But something about the powers seemed… darker, scarier than before. I wasn’t in control at all, and it scared me. I projected that fear onto you all. And I know that is so unfair of me. It was driving Ash insane, he was the only one who knew, so he got Adaon to come here to teach me control. But because of the wards, we needed to meet in the woods…” Jem very much looked like he still had much to say, so Kit closed his eyes and said it. “I was having nightmares again, Dad, but this time it was me hurting you.”

“Oh love…” Tessa brushed her fingers through his curls gently. “Sometimes I wish you were just a little less Herondale.”

“I know, I wish I’d told you.” Kit let Tessa keep petting his hair and she smiled warmly at him. “It probably sounds pretty weak, but I haven’t really… felt like myself.” Ash scoffed, sounding suspiciously like ‘no shit’, and Jace whacked him over the head. “I promise I’ll see the Silent Brothers, I’ll go back to the therapist, get myself back on track.”

“I know you will.” Jem sighed and sunk into his chair.

Jace sighed and leant over to meet Kit’s eyes. “As selfish it sounds, Kit, I’m just relieved you weren’t shutting me out for something I did. Ash hiding the truth from us really scared me. Then you walked back through the wards and you started speaking, telling me about Adaon…” Jace curled his hands into fists and rubbed them harshly against his eyes. “Way to take my ego down a notch.”

Kit wasn’t allowed guests until the Silent Brothers cleared him. At first, he was relieved, with Ash and Jace promising to keep his recovery secret for a while longer, but then it was nearly a fortnight later and the Silent Brothers did not relent with the same repeated questions over and over and over.

The Silent Brothers had prevented him from leaving to see Adaon last week, instead forcing him to sit and be examined and answer the same pointless questions as before. But this week, he was determined to see Adaon. He’d asked Ash to pass Adaon an apology and his promise to attend this week, and no one was going to stop him.

So when, predictably, the Silent Brother attempted to corner him, before they got a chance to indirectly guilt him into staying, he teleported away. He’d noticed they’d forgotten that he was more than a simple shadowhunter, so, flash, he was at the edge of the wards and free.

He casually strode through the wards, relieved to hear the welcoming calls of the Knights and redcaps as they noticed him. He spotted Adaon quickly, and went to call out, only to freeze.

Because beside Adaon was Kieran, gentle smile on his lips. Before Kit could bow or greet him appropriately, Kieran swept him into a hug, allowing Kit to all but collapse into the King’s arms. Kieran whispered his greetings into Kit’s curls, pulling away to meet Kit’s eyes and blink a tear away. Kieran motioned for him to sit, that comfortable, fond expression on both his and Adaon’s faces.

Once the typical niceties had been exchanged, Adaon grew serious. “Your dreams of Auraline, are they still dark? The Seelie Prince informed us that your control is progressing well, despite your scholars’ best efforts.”

“Last time we met, you believed that the appearance of Auraline may be my own mind and insecurities, so that very night I held to the faith vested in me by you, by our King, by Ash.” Kit offered them his right hand, palm down, so they could see the returned runes. “I told her I refused to fear myself any longer, and upon waking I found everything lost from myself returned.”

“Show us, little cousin. We have missed your power.” Kieran smiled as the space around him glowed.

The magic still drained him quicker than it used to, and returning to Cirenworth to see the Silent Brothers still waiting for him made any remaining energy run for the hills. Before they could project a single question, Kit rolled his eyes and faceplanted into a couch with a groan. Even though he knew it was pointless, Kit covered his head with a pillow as if to block their questions.

“I think you’ve harassed Kit long enough, Brother Elijah.” Alec’s voice was tired, and Kit shifted so he could see him. He hadn’t seen Alec when he’d dragged himself in. He looked tired too, frustrated and tired. “From your reports to me, Kit doesn’t have any answers. And if Jace is right, all your questions do is annoy Kit and drain his energy. There is a very long list of people who want to see him, including me, and if you don’t start letting them see him, I’ll let Max lose in the Silent City and make you answer every question.” From below his protective pillow, Kit shuddered. Alec was not playing. “Now leave.”

Kit heard the swish of the robes as the Silent Brothers left and he twisted to face Alec, biting back a grin. “Thanks Alec. If you don’t mind though… I’m happy to see the kids tomorrow, I’m just about twenty minutes from crashing entirely. Magic… you know, I’m sure you get it, being married to a warlock and all.”

Alec hummed in agreement and pulled Kit to his feet, clearly trying not to laugh as Kit stumbled into him. “Trust me, I’ve helped Magnus stagger to our room too many times to count over the years.” He wrapped an arm around Kit and took his weight as if he was one of his children. “Let’s get you upstairs. You’ll need all the energy you can get to deal with Rafe tomorrow. He’s missed you and he’s sulking.”

“I love that little shit.” Kit murmured and Alec laughed, rolling his eyes. “Thank you, Alec, seriously.” Kit’s voice cracked as he spoke. “I’m… I…”

“It’s okay, Kit.” Alec swung the door to his bedroom open and helped Kit ease carefully onto the bed. “You never need to thank anyone for caring about you. You deserve love, alright?”

“Your Herondale angst sense were tingling, weren’t they?” Kit tried to joke and Alec huffed.

“You and Jace were both raised by shit fathers and Jace has always felt weird about accepting affection.” Alec settled beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders with a grin. “You know what, that probably is my Herondale sense.”

“Mhm, definitely is.” Kit slurred, eyes falling closed and leaning heavily against Alec. Alec sighed, fond exasperation in his eyes as he laid Kit down and pulled his blanket over him. “It’s a good thing that we keep finding sappy bastards who refuse to accept our repressed bullshit, huh?”

The only answer was a soft “go to sleep, idiot,” but Kit could hear the smile in the words.

The next day the sun rose with blazing intensity, but Kit was already awake. Before the sun had risen above the horizon, Rafe and Max had jumped onto his bed, toppling Kit out. His shout of shock had Jem, Tessa and Ash running in to the room, only to find Kit on the floor with two enthusiastic kids clinging to him.

“My children are menaces.” Magnus made them all yelp as he stepped into Kit’s room behind them, glaring at his children jokingly. “Are you alright Kit?”

“About as fun as being woken up by a nightmare.” That got a laugh from most of the assembled adults as Ash helped him clamber to his feet. “I’m happy to see the gremlins, though I’d prefer for it to have been about 3 hours later in the day.”

“Well…” Magnus grinned and Kit groaned at the expression. “The Blackthorns and the rest of the New York crew wanted to see you so we’re really only here to collect you. Even though it’s currently 1am in New York, and we aren’t gathering until 8am, the brats refused to stay in bed.”

“Sorry, once I told them you were ready to see them, it was game over.” Alec clasped Kit’s shoulder, and Kit grumbled softly, even as he wrapped Rafe and Max in a gentle hug. “After all, it seems like such an inconvenience for you.”

Kit flipped Alec off over the boys’ heads, ignoring the laughter from the others and biting back his own smile. “Fine, I admit that I’m glad to see them, but considering the fact you basically had to carry me upstairs yesterday… I think it’s fair that I want more sleep.”

Alec nodded and herded his children out of Kit’s room, ignoring their grumbling. “You’ve seen him, scared the heck out of him and given him a hug. Let him sleep!”

Chapter Text

For a while, Kit thought he was too keyed up to go back to sleep. But, as if he knew Kit couldn’t fall back to sleep, Ash snuck back in, poking Kit until he wiggled over so that Ash could lie beside him. Softly, as if he didn’t want Kit to pick up on it, he began to hum that same low tune Adaon had hummed months before, and Kit slipped quickly back into sleep.

Kit felt incredible when he woke up. When Adaon had used the soothing magic (Kit knew it was magic, even if neither had told him), he’d been in pain and stressed out in general, so he hadn’t picked up on how refreshed he’d felt in comparison. But all of the physical exhaustion he’d felt from the magical drain, the aches and pains of training and the mental exhaustion from everything he’d gone through, it was all gone.

So, when he got downstairs and got tackled by the kids again, he was able to roughhouse with them for a bit before Magnus called them off. Spending time with them, with people he hadn’t seen since he’d actually recovered, felt a little surreal.

Kit wasn’t sure what he really was expecting when he stepped through the Portal to New York, but it looked like every person Kit had gotten to know over the last few years was gathered in Magnus’ loft. From Lily Chen and Maia Roberts to the Blackthorns to General Winter, every facet of the Downworld seemed to be represented. Kit was hugged and fussed over and teased, passed from group to group until he felt like he was dizzy.

After a while, Kit was overwhelmed by all of the serious affection and physical touch – even though Kit loved physical touch. Kit’s magic had evolved as it came back, leaving him with glimpses of the person touching him’s thoughts and emotions. It made physical affection a touch overwhelming sometimes, so when things got to be too much for him, Kit managed to slip away, slipping out the door and up the stairs to the roof.

He was leaning against the railing, staring at the New York skyline and letting his mind wander. The crisp air helped clear his head and wash the traces of other people’s emotions from him, even with the pollution clogging the air. The door squeaked as someone joined him on the roof but Kit didn’t turn, even as he sensed the person approach him.

“Kit?” Ty leant on the rail beside him, eyes flicking around him as Kit glanced over. “You just left without a word.” Ty’s voice was quiet but Kit could hear the note of concern. “When I asked, no one didn’t know where you’d gone. Ash suggested that I check the roof.”

“Guess I took the habit from you guys.” Kit turned to face him, and Ty reached over to grab his hand. Kit squeezed the hand, running a thumb over Ty’s knuckles. “I’m relearning my powers and… sometimes people’s touch can be overwhelming.”

Ty hummed in agreement, clearly understanding Kit’s feelings. “Is this overwhelming for you?” Ty nodded at their linked hands.

“No, it’s nice.” Kit grinned and Ty smiled back, leaning into him and nuzzling him, reminding Kit of Church once again. There was an echo of contentment from where their hands were joined. “I can sense emotions and thoughts sometimes; it seems to be worse when there’s a bunch of people. It’s not like that with you, it’s… calm, quiet. I like it.”

Kit pulled Ty into a proper hug, pressing his face into Ty’s shoulder and just letting himself breathe in the moment. The silence was comfortable, something that Kit had to admit pleased him more than he would freely admit. After a moment, Ty stepped back and Kit turned back to face the skyline.

“I didn’t get a chance to say it, Ty, but I’m sorry about Livvy.”

Ty hummed and paused before let out an exhausted sigh. “It’s okay, she was right, it was time. I miss her but…” Ty nudged Kit until he twisted to face him again. “I’m far more worried about you. The Seelie Queen and Janus have both made open threats against you, from the moment they knew you survived.”

Kit groaned and closed his eyes. “I’m very aware of it, the amount of people that have lectured me about how at risk I am.” Ty frowned and Kit cut off his frustrated growl, knowing Ty didn’t mean to annoy him. “I’ll be fine, Ty.”

“Oh, will you now?” The voice was gravelly, angry. Sardonic. Fuck. Kit turned around to find Janus smirking at him, flipping a blade lazily, catching it by the blade. “I guess you really are a Herondale, we’re fucking impossible to kill. Unfortunately for you…”

“You’re good at the impossible?” Kit couldn’t bite back the sarcastic remark and Ty groaned from beside him, muttering for Kit not to antagonise the man. Janus glowered and took a menacing step forward. “You really are just a cliché, aren’t you? Next thing you’ll be saying is that I’ll regret crossing you and laughing menacingly.”

Janus lunged for him. Kit shoved Ty to the side, letting Janus hit him, the momentum carrying them both over the railing. As they went over, Kit met Ty’s terrified eyes, and Ty scrambled for him, reaching for Kit desperately. Ty’s hand grazed his ankle, but he couldn’t save him. Ty’s scream followed them, even as Kit focused his energy and…

Both Janus and Kit hit the grass roughly, and Kit was torn from Janus’ grip as they tumbled through the grass. Kit leapt to his feet as soon as he stopped rolling, freeing the Herondale dagger from its hidden sheath as he did so. Janus staggered to his feet, off-balance and growling like a rabid dog, and Kit grinned wildly at him.

“I’ll slit your throat, you little…” Janus dove for him and Kit stepped aside, letting him barrel past and slam into a nearby tree.

“All I can think is that the last thought that went through your Alec, Clary, Maryse and Izzy’s minds would have been relief. Relief that they no longer had to deal with you!” Kit spat at him, and Janus wheeled around like a wounded bull, eyes flashing with anger. “Who would want to be linked to you? Even Ash, after you protected him from your Sebastian, even he abandoned you.”

This time Janus successfully pinned Kit to a tree, knife shaking as it pressed against Kit’s throat, a drop of blood tracing its way down his throat. Kit felt magic in the air as a portal shimmered into being behind Janus; Clary, Jace and Ash shooting through and stopping short as they took in the scene. Ash stepped, horror in his eyes, and Janus snarled for him to stop.

Before any of them could move towards them, Janus swung his hand back and drove the knife towards Kit’s chest. Kit shifted slightly, hissing as the knife sliced through his side and buried into the tree. Ash gasped in the echo of Kit’s pain and Janus laughed darkly, not noticing as Kit shifted, driving the Herondale dagger up and at Janus’ heart.

Jace’s eyes shot open and a trickle of blood escaped his lips, followed by a quiet ‘oh’. A wave of horror washed over Kit and he had to swallow vomit, forcing his mind to remember that this was Janus, not Jace. The abuser, not the loving cousin. The broken, bitter man who tried to hurt Mina, who tormented Adaon and Ash, who tried to kidnap Clary. Not his cousin. Just a monster wearing his face. Kit hardened his heart.

“Let’s see who Ash runs to, huh?” Kit whispered, pushing Janus away from him. Janus sunk to his knees heavily, looking hurt as Ash shot past him. Ash entirely ignored Janus, grabbing his stele and tracing an iratze on Kit’s forearm. At Kit’s flinch, Ash breathed an apology. “I’m okay, it’s okay Ash.” Kit wrapped an arm around Ash’s shoulders.

Janus moved and, before Kit could do more than blink, the blaring light of a seraph blade flashed behind Janus. His head fell to the grass with a sick thump, dagger still raised in his hand as his body slumped to the side. Clary was behind him, eyes steely cold and blood-stained blade clenched in her hand. Jace pulled a face and winced, rubbing the same place on his throat and offering Kit a weak smile.

“Are you okay? Sorry we didn’t get here quicker. Ty came straight to us, and Ash traced you, but it took us a second.” Jace ruffled Kit’s hair, but he still looked a little green around the gills. “Hell of a move to hide the dagger until then!”

Swallowing the bile crawling up his throat, Kit tried to focus on Jace and took a steadying breath. “Where did I end up? I wasn’t exactly focused on a location…”

“Central Park. This is the same tree we found you, Ty and Anush under before everything went… sideways.” Jace used his body to block the sight of Janus’ corpse from Kit and Ash, eyes pitying. “On the bright side of things, that’s one of two major threats against you eliminated?”

Kit shuddered and closed his eyes, trying to take calming breaths, but the adrenaline from the fight was fading and the fear and disgust was catching up to him. Ash made a distressed noise, taking Kit’s weight as he swayed unsteadily, and studiously ignoring the sight of his former guardian’s body as he manoeuvred Kit to the other side of the tree and helping him sit.

“We have to wait for the Silent Brothers. Then Clary will take us home, okay?” Ash’s voice shook and Kit took a deep breath, focusing on the small pieces of their rune that he could see. “Kit?”

“I’m sorry, that couldn’t have been easy to see.” Kit muttered, leaning his head against Ash’s shoulder. “It was bad enough for me. He looks so much like our Jace, and then after I stabbed him, he honestly… felt like him too.” Ash wrapped his arms around Kit and Kit could feel him shaking. “I called him Jace in my head right after and…” Ash’s arms disappeared, and he felt a hand tip his face up.

“Kit, we’re both okay.” Jace’s voice was gentle, and Kit opened his eyes to find his cousin kneeling in front of him. “He is gone. I’m proud of how you fought, that was a smart move. You did your teleporting trick to throw him off balance and protect Ty, and based on the unhinged way he was acting, you definitely said something to him that was absolutely infuriating. You made the Herondale name proud.” Jace’s tone was teasing but his eyes were totally serious. As Kit tried to explain, Jace shook his head. “Killing someone with my face couldn’t have been easy, but you did the right thing, okay?”

Returning to the party did not help. Deigo pulled Kit aside, immediately grilling him about what happened, even as he desperately tried to catch Alec’s eye. To be fair to Alec, he almost ran straight to Jace, wrapping him in a hug and whispering to him. Clary slumped into Simon and Izzy, and Ash went over to Dru and Thais, grinning weakly as Dru fussed over him, a blush creeping up his neck.

Diego’s questioning of why Kit left the gathering made the sense of helplessness and isolation grow. The memory of the look of shock and hurt on Jace… no Janus’ face; he kept staring at Kit from behind his eyelids every time he blinked. The blood dripping from Jace’s–Janus’ lips, the look of hatred in his eyes as he swung the dagger down… Panic closed his throat. The room seemed both silent and way too loud, crowded but empty.

“Deigo, I think that’s enough.” Jaime seemed to materialise from nowhere, wrapping an arm around Kit and beginning to steer him away. The touch burned on Kit’s skin and he wanted to shrug him off. But he couldn’t move. Diego tried to pull Kit back, only for Jaime to shake him off. “Deigo!”

“Diego, leave him be. Kit’s obviously not alright, just look at him.” Alec interjected, pressing a hand to Kit’s cheek and tapping gently, pulling Kit’s gaze to him. “Kit, you still with us?” Kit nodded and Alec frowned. “Okay, that nod was barely a nod. Are you aware of what’s happening?” Kit tried to answer but his voice stayed stuck in his throat, and Alec moved him to a chair – had there always been a chair there? He couldn’t remember. Was the room always this hot? Kit realised Alec was speaking again and he tried to focus on his words. “Tell me five things you can see?”

“You, Jaime, Diego…” Kit’s voice was shaky, and Alec nodded encouragingly. “Um, the chair and Jace?” Jace had appeared beside Alec’s side.

“Good, now four things you can hear?”

“You’re talking to me, Jaime is grumbling under his breath, is Chairman Meow meowing at someone?” Alec huffed a laugh and nodded, gesturing for Kit to continue. “There’s also a siren outside.” The buzzing in his ears seemed to fade away.

“Three things you can feel?” Alec prompted again and Kit swallowed.

“My sweater is itchy.” Kit muttered and suddenly it felt like it was constricting around him. “You’re gripping my knee? And I… does it count to say I can feel your worry?” The itch on his skin was unbearable like ants crawling and biting and hurting.

“I’ll accept it. Nearly there, two things you can smell?” Alec’s voice broke through the itch and Kit tried to keep his focus on the question.

“You and Magnus have a serious sandalwood obsession.” Kit scrunched his nose up and Alec groaned good-naturedly, squeezing Kit’s knee to encourage him. “There’s also… coffee?”

Alec hummed in acknowledgment and met Kit’s eyes evenly. “Good, now finally, one thing you can taste?”

“Salt.” The word came out in a monotone, the realisation that tears were streaming down his face leaving the burn of humiliation in his stomach. He hated seeming weak, and everyone was there, judging him. His breathing picked up again. It was too much. Too much for him to bear. “Too much…”

“Kit, stop spiralling, just listen to me. You’re safe here, no one is judging you. You were attacked by someone wearing the face of someone you love, you had to kill him, or at least get close to that. So many here have faced that, we understand, okay?” Alec nodded at someone beside Kit and all of a sudden, he was engulfed in an embrace. “Do you understand?”

“Sorry.” Kit muttered and the arms around him tightened. “I’m okay now.”

“You don’t have to be.” Jace said and there was a general rumble of agreement around the room. “You fought and almost killed someone who had my face, someone who had tortured you and your parabatai. You don’t need to be okay.”

Chapter Text

Kit couldn’t keep his eyes open, drifting off to sleep propped between Jace and Ash, the panic and adrenaline fading away and leaving him as exhausted as training with Adaon would. The conversations around him continued, though Kit really couldn’t follow them. He caught brief mentions of the Unseelie Court and when the Unseelie royals, General Winter and the other fey had disappeared quietly during the party.

Hands shook Kit awake; Ty was kneeling in front of him with a carefully neutral expression. Behind him, Kit could see milling Shadowhunters and Downworlders, a wave of noise making it impossible for Kit to pick up of anything other than a sense of general shock. He was still laying on Ash’s shoulder – and he was tense, both the bond and Kit’s power told Kit he was freaking out.

“Kit, we got word from the Unseelie…” Ty’s voice was soft, and Kit could see the worry in his eyes. “Apparently the Seelie launched an attack on the Unseelie at the same time as Janus attacked you.”

“Kier? Adaon?” Kit felt very awake now. “What happened? Are they alright?” Panic crashed through him, and he tried to take those meditative breaths.

“We don’t know, we received word from a member of the Hunt a few minutes ago.” Ty stood and offered Kit his hand, pulling Kit to his feet. “The Hunter refused to give us any information except that the attack was happening.” The emphasis on the word us made Kit’s stomach drop. “We’re organising a team to go through to Faerie.”

“I’m going.” Kit started to walk past Ty, only for Ty to grab Kit arm and stop him.

“Kit…”

“I don’t care what anyone has to say, Ty. They’re my family.” Kit was surprised by the vehemence with which the words came out. Before Tessa and Jem, when he lived with his dad and even with the Blackthorns, he wouldn’t have been so… worried about family. But now… now Kit was afraid for them. “I’m going. Just be glad I don’t teleport without you.”

“I wasn’t going to stop you.” Ty actually sounded offended and Kit turned back to face him, doubtful. “I was trying to say that the hunter said he has a message for you. That’s why I woke you up.”

When Kit stepped out onto the roof, with Ash and Ty by his side and Dru hovering in the doorway, the Hunter was standing against the railing, close to where Kit had gone over just a few hours before. Kit recognised him immediately; he was one of the oldest members of the Wild Hunt and was the origin of Kit’s ‘Un-Prince’ nickname – Kieran had introduced him to Kit as Niall.

“Well met, little Un-Prince.” The greeting was a subdued take on the normal teasing tone. Kit bowed his head and Niall bowed back. “And well met, Prince Ash, Tiberius and Druscilla Blackthorn.” Dru joined them on the roof and they all murmured back a greeting. “Lord Gwyn and the King wish for me to pass on a message.”

“I am listening.” Kit gestured for him to speak.

“Perhaps I can request the Blackthorns step away?”

Ty immediately bristled and Kit turned to him, shaking his head slightly. “Ty, please just go back into the building. I promise Ash and I won’t go anywhere without you, okay?”

Ty scowled and went to argue, but Dru tapped his shoulder, whispering something into Ty’s ear before guiding him away. Niall stayed still until the door closed behind them, then he deflated, exhaustion clear in every line of the man’s body. Ash grabbed Kit’s wrist and took a shaking breath, clearly as nervous about the message as Kit was.

Before Niall could say a word, Ash asked, “She’s dead, isn’t she?” His voice was flat, emotionless.

Niall’s eyes widened in surprise and he nodded, watching Ash carefully. “The Seelie Queen attacked the Unseelie King and was killed by the King in her attempt. I offer you my condolences, little Prince.” Ash took a shaky step back and Kit grabbed Ash’s arm, tugging him into his side. “That is not why…”

“I won’t rule them, Kit.” Ash’s voice stayed flat and Kit turned to face him, letting Ash pull away slightly. “I can’t…”

Kit kept his grip on Ash’s wrist and turned back to Niall, swallowing the lump in his throat. “That’s not what you’re here for, right?”

The look on Niall’s face told Kit that it wasn’t, the barely smothered grin told him everything. “I am not here to call on either of you to rule the Seelie Court, though you both have a claim far higher than any other to the throne of the Spring Court…”

“Hell no!” Kit yelped, and Niall couldn’t hold back the laugh this time. “We’re good.”

“The King simply wishes to inform you that the Courts will be silent while the situation is being resolved.” Niall smothered his laugh again. “And Lord Gwyn warns that you both should very carefully avoid Seelie while the throne is unoccupied.” With those words, Niall called for his horse and mounted.

“Wait, Niall!” Kit shot forward and grabbed the Hunter’s wrist. “Were there any… casualties?”

“The battle did not last long after the Queen’s death. A number of Unseelie and Seelie Knights, and two of the Hunt were wounded. The King and Prince Adaon were wounded but will recover swiftly.” Kit let out a relieved breath and Niall ruffled Kit’s hair.

“Please tell them that my heart is gladdened that they are safe and that I wish to see them when everything has been resolved.” Kit stepped back.

“Tell the King I said thank you.” Ash spoke quietly and Niall started, surprise evident on his face, but he nodded anyway. “I bare him no grudge for the death of my mother.”

Kit wasn’t sure what to expect when Niall took off, returning to Faerie with their messages, but Ash sliding on to the floor looking shellshocked wasn’t quite it. Kit hadn’t signalled to Ty and Dru that they were good to rejoin them, so he took advantage of the moment they had. He sat beside Ash, pulling him into a sideways hug and letting him process for a second.

“She’s really gone?” Ash whispered and Kit murmured a yes in response. “It doesn’t feel true. I half expect her to turn up and kidnap you again.”

“You can relax Ash, she’s gone. You can take solace in knowing that Kieran would have made triple sure of that. He hates her almost as much as you and me.”

“I feel like I should send him a thank you card. Do I owe him a blood debt for this?” Ash huffed a laugh and groaned. “Does it make me terrible that I genuinely do not feel any grief?”

“Nah, she was your birth-giver, not your mum.” Kit nudged him and Ash hummed. “Honestly, half of the time I spent locked in my room at the Blackthorns was me not grieving him and planning escape, then immediately feeling like a terrible person for not grieving him enough.”  Ash laughed, a short sharp sound that conveyed the emotional turmoil he was feeling. “No one can tell you how and who you grieve.”

Ty ducked his head out and raised an eyebrow. Admittedly the sight was probably not what he expected, with the parabatai sitting on the ground alone, leaning on each other. He stepped out onto the roof with Dru following, both looking around in confusion.

“Where did the hunter go? What’s… what’s wrong?”

Kit got to his feet and offered Ash his hand, hauling him to his feet as well. “We’re good, Ty.”

“That really doesn’t answer my questions, Kit.” Ty frowned, hands on his hips. “Come on, they’re about to make portals.”

When they returned to Alec and Magnus’ loft, people were formed into groups in front of warlocks, who were beginning to form the portals. Kit cleared his throat loudly and waved for Alec and Diego’s attention. Both of them, plus Kit’s parents and Clary and Jace, came towards him.

“You spoke to the hunter? What did he have to say?” Diego crossed his arms and raised a brow.

“The attack ended quickly.” Kit took a deep breath and, nearby, Mark and Cristina moved to face him, relief and worry warring on their faces. “Kier and Adaon were injured but are fine.”

Mark pulled Cristina into a hug, glancing worriedly at Kit. “Why didn’t Niall just tell us that?” His voice wasn’t accusatory, just curious. “Was there more?”

“My moth… the Seelie Queen is dead.” Ash hesitated on the word mother, but his words seemed to echo around the room. Everyone fell silent, staring at the group in the doorway. “Niall probably wanted to tell Kit so he could break it to me.”

“They also wanted to let me know the Courts will go silent while the whole thing is sorted out. Also, since Ash and I technically have the highest claim to the throne, Gwyn wanted to warn us to avoid the hell out of Faerie until… you know.” Kit shifted uncomfortably, the silence grating on him. “I have no doubt that they wanted to be certain that neither of us wanted the throne.”

“Either of you would be a better choice than…” Kit found the gaze of the speaker, Maryse.

“Not happening.” Ash shuddered and Kit nodded in agreement. “Nope.”

“So, what happens now?” Kadir asked.

“It’s not really our business.” Kit shrugged, causing a wave of dissent around the room but Kit just met Alec’s eyes evenly. “If we intervene, we put Kieran’s independence and the Clave’s intentions into question. It’s not worth it.”

“If K follows tradition, he could take the Seelie Court for himself.” Mark frowned, before shaking his head and making a frustrated noise. “But I don’t think he will.”

“On the bright side,” Kit grinned, “the only threat currently remaining is the Cohort.”

Honestly, it had to have been the longest day in Kit’s life – waking up being attacked by Rafe and Max felt like it was several days ago, had it really only been that morning? In the end, not many Shadowhunters left Alec and Magnus’ loft. Magnus just expanded the place with magic, before throwing his hands in the air and retreating to his room with his husband.

Ash and Kit claimed a couch and flopped down, with Ash leaning into Kit in obvious exhaustion. A number of the younger Shadowhunters seemed to gravitate towards them, including ones who Kit had never met. Ty hovered at the edge of the group until Dru pulled him to sit with her and Thais.

“Are you alright Ash?” A girl about their age at the front of the group fluttered her eyelashes at Ash, wide doe-eyes looking teary. “It can’t be easy to hear about your mum dying.”

Ash sat up slightly and raised an eyebrow at her. “First, mother, not mum. Mums are people like Tessa, like Jocelyn, calling her a mum is disrespecting them. Second…” Ash took a shaky breath and flopped back against Kit. “I’m fine, just shocked. So many people wanted her to die and she hated to do anything kind, I kind of figured she would never die.”

Kit choked back a laugh before glancing over at Ash. Their eyes met and both of them immediately fell into laughter, barely able to breathe. Everyone looked at them with a mixture of bemusement and straight up bafflement. Finally, Kit managed to catch his breath and meet the eyes of the girl who’d asked.

“Sorry, but can you really expect either of us to pretend to be sad about the death of a woman who was straight up evil to us?” Kit raised an eyebrow and the girl flushed. “I’m not judging you at all, but you clearly come from a happier family.” The girl nodded and Kit nodded. “Someone who abused you dying can be difficult because it’s this weird amalgamation of relief, guilt, small amounts of grief.” Ash nodded and the girl hid her face behind her hair. “But asking if he’s okay doesn’t help, no matter how kindly you meant it.” The girl nodded and Kit offered her a smile.

“I’m fine, I will be fine.” Ash smiled and Kit saw Dru roll her eyes. “But Kit’s right, I can’t grieve for her. I won’t grieve for her. She does not deserve it.”

The group conversation continued, but Kit didn’t care to force himself to listen. He let himself drift off, leaning against Ash and letting the relief thrumming through the bond lull him into a peaceful dream.

The Unseelie Court looked rough, but Kit’s focus wasn’t on the torn-up trees or on the fey rushing around to repair and help others struggle to the tents. He couldn’t focus on that when Kieran and Adaon were standing with some of the other Unseelie Princes, clearly in deep discussions. The words weren’t clear, muffled and echoey, even as Kit strained to hear. Then, Kieran looked up and met his eyes, and it clicked. Kieran sent him this dream, a gift he did not often bestow.

“Little one.” Kieran smiled as Kit sagged with relief. “I hear you slew Janus as I slew the Seelie Queen.” Kit shrugged and Kieran stepped forward, wrapping Kit in a hug. “Are you alright?”

“I would argue Clary finished him off, even if I defeated him, but…” Kit sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “It was harder than I thought to deal with it. Harming someone who shares a face with someone I care about…” Kit looked at Kieran and offered him a shaky smile. “If you’re worried about Ash being upset that you killed his mother, he is wondering if you would like a thank you card.”

Kieran seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “I did not truly fear it, with how cruel she was to him. But confirmation of it is nice.”

“You’re really okay, right?” Kit looked at the blood he could see staining Kieran’s pale skin. “Adaon? And the Court? Niall told me some Knights died but…”

“The Court will survive. We were injured in the battle, but I will recover swiftly.” Kieran pressed a hand to Kit’s cheek and smiled softly. “Rest, little one. Your dreams will not bother you tonight.”

It was still dark when Kit woke up, feeling refreshed and some of the worry from earlier fading away. He extricated himself from Ash, hushing when he groaned and stirred, eyes squinting into the dark. As he picked his way through the curled bodies of the other teens he nearly tripped over Ty, and Kit went down, sprawling on top of Ty. Kit was glad it was so dark as Ty’s arms came around Kit. His face flamed and he groaned softly.

“Are you alright, Kit?” Ty’s voice was a rasp against Kit’s ear, and Kit shivered. “Why’re you awake?”

“I’m okay, I woke up and wanted to get some air. Was going for the balcony.” Kit breathed back and Ty hummed, squeezing Kit before letting him go. “Would you… do you want to join me?” Kit carefully got up and offered Ty his hand, still flushed from literally falling for Ty.

Ty nodded and took Kit’s hand. He pulled Ty around the corner before flashing outside, shielding the others from the light. Ty closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths as his equilibrium righted itself. Kit whispered an apology as Ty breathed and he nodded.

“I’m sorry our conversation was interrupted earlier.” Kit grabbed Ty’s hand and squeezed, only for the breath to be stolen from him as Ty opened his eyes and the moonlight caught the grey. “And I’m sorry if… the whole Janus thing freaked you out.”

“It’s not your fault.” Ty stepped forward and wrapped Kit in another hug, the pressure just right and Kit leaned his forehead against Ty’s shoulder. “But, it’s just… do you still… why did you send Dru and I away? If you’d said you trusted us…”

“You wanted to ask if I still don’t trust you, right?” Kit sighed at Ty’s nod, refusing to let go as Ty went to step back. “Ty, Niall asked for you to leave. I didn’t know what he was going to say, and if he said Kieran was hurt or that something had gone wrong… I promise that I trust you. Entirely.”

“How can I believe that?” Ty was looking at him like he was a mystery that he really wanted to solve. “You didn’t let me help with Janus, you didn’t tell me when your power returned, you didn’t ask for me when you woke up!”

“Ty…” Kit sighed and pulled him even closer, as if he could bring Ty to be a part of him. “I swear it’s not like that. Literally the only reason I didn’t contact you when I woke up is because I wanted to see Ash first, my parabatai, he was hurt like me. Then everything just went so… fast. The powers coming back? Only Ash knew until I begged him to find a way for me to see Adaon, even my parents and Jace didn’t know.” Ty frowned but seemed to accept this. “As for Janus – why would I risk him hurting you? I never want you to get hurt.”

Silence sat between the two for a while, their arms around each other and existing in the moment. After a long moment, Kit took a deep breath and stepped back, cupping a hand around Ty’s face and watching as Ty’s eyes flicked to his before focusing on his left eyebrow.

“Kieran sent me a dream last night.” Kit whispered, and Ty looked surprised. “He wanted to check up on me and reassure me that he was alright. But I think he also knew the whole Janus thing would freak me out so he wanted to comfort me.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Ty frowned.

“I… I don’t really know.” Kit laughed at himself slightly, and Ty sighed. “I guess I just wanted… I don’t know.”

“Kit.” Ty’s voice was gentle and Kit groaned under his breath. “You’re acting different. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just…” Kit’s voice cracked and he groaned again. “It’s the first time we’re properly alone since… well the night before the whole… Manan thing.”

“We were alone this morning.” Ty observed.

“For like five minutes.” Kit muttered and Ty frowned. “It’s not like we got a chance to really talk about anything.”

“So, let’s talk?” Ty started to take a step back but then leant in and pressed a kiss to Kit’s lips. “If it makes it easier, I know I didn’t say it back, but…”

“You don’t need to, Ty.” Kit squeezed Ty’s hands and Ty scoffed.

“Kit, I didn’t say it then because I didn’t know. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, so trust me?” Ty leant his forehead against Kit’s and ran his fingers through Kit’s curls. “I love you too, Kit. Julian once told me that when you love someone, you truly see them. I see you Kit, I’ve seen you for years.”

Kit felt like his heart couldn’t take it, the happiness, the relief, all of the emotions he’d experienced over the past 24 to 36 hours. He kissed Ty properly, barely able to bite back the grin, even as Ty hummed happily. Finally, they separated, moving to lean against the wall and just bask in each other’s presence.

“You know this won’t be easy, right?” Kit muttered. “I’m still the First Heir, there’s still so much danger attached to me and my power.”

“You’re not going to convince me to abandon you.” The words sounded offended and Kit chuckled lowly. “I’m serious.”

“I know, Ty. What I meant is…” A gentle laugh broke through Kit’s words and he looked up to find Livvy’s ghost smiling down on them. “Oh, Livvy…”

Ty startled and looked around. “Where?”

“Take care of him, Kit.” Livvy looked at her twin with such fondness. “Take care of each other.”

“We will.” Kit whispered and Ty made a distressed noise. “I promise.”

“I love you both. Tell him that, okay?” Livvy floated right in front of her twin and smiled. “Tell him I said goodbye, that I’m happy.”

“Bye, Livvy.” Kit called softly and Ty echoed him, eyes damp. She smiled and waved as she faded from Kit’s vision. “She wanted me to promise that we’ll take care of each other. She said she loves you, that’s she’s happy.” Ty sniffled and Kit pressed a kiss to his temple. “She wanted to say goodbye.”

Ty buried his face in Kit’s shoulder, breaths coming out ragged and damp. It wouldn’t be easy; it never would be. But it would be worth every second just to be able to stay by Ty’s side.