Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sirius rolls onto his side, ignoring the other man as he picks up his clothes and gets dressed. He goes as far as to bury his head underneath the pillow so he can sleep through his hook up leaving his flat. He preferred it when they didn’t spend the night but it left a coldness in the bed and it sometimes made him feel a little lonely. All of his friends had grown up, gotten married and were popping out kids like no tomorrow. Some had even divorced or remarried, Peter was expecting twins with his second wife. Yet, Sirius was still doing the same shit he had done at twenty. He was thirty-two now and as much as he enjoyed the lifestyle..it wasn’t as fun. His friends could rarely join him as they were on Father duty, so he went to clubs alone and found pretty boys to bring home.

Sirius often regrets dumping his ex boyfriend Remus Lupin, it had been years and they wanted very different things. It had worked out for the best in the end, Remus got the family he wanted with a son and Sirius got to be free. No children. Something he had been set on since he was just fifteen. He would never have kids. He would never carry on the Black family surname, never put his children through what his parents had put him through. He had tried dating, he liked having that one person to go home to but Sirius had never felt a connection like that again. He had yet to meet anyone who made him feel the way Remus did. So, random hook ups and friends with benefits with men was his fill. It was as close as he could get to dating.

People bored him. Whenever he did agree to dates, he subconsciously found himself comparing them to Remus. He knew it was ridiculous, they’d split when they were twenty-four and Remus had been reintroduced to the group again when he and Lily started working together at Hogwarts primary school. It had been a shock seeing him after all that time, even more of a shock to learn he was married. It wasn’t awkward or anything, Sirius was good at hiding how he felt. Except when Remus told them he was going to be a Dad, Sirius had quite literally fallen out of his seat. He knew it would happen one day, Remus was always supposed to be a Dad. Made for it really. It was the entire reason they had split, Remus wanted to be a Dad and Sirius did not.

It hurt actually, hearing that Remus’ biggest dream was coming true without Sirius. He felt an awful wave of regret as everyone else congratulated Remus, shaking his hand and clapping him on the back. Sirius had never seen Remus so happy, he was glowing and his hazel brown eyes were wide with excitement. He had a horrible sinking realisation that night, that maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad after all. Seeing how elated Remus was, seeing his wide smile and flushed face..it would have been worth it, but Sirius had always been the stubborn kind. He didn’t want children. He hated them. They were annoying and loud, demanding and bossy, they cried and pooped and it was draining to watch..but maybe, with Remus, it would have been magical.

Of course he said none of that out loud, he congratulated the happy couple and declared they should celebrate. He knocked back beer after beer,slamming them down on the table and drowning out his regrets. Remus deserved to be happy. When Teddy Lupin was born, Remus has called him to let him know. He wanted Sirius to be aware before it was posted online or in group chats and Sirius was so grateful. He switched his phone off afterwards and crawled into bed, cried himself to sleep for a day or two. He really regret letting Remus go.

His sadness didn’t last long. He threw himself into his boring solicitor job, drinking Friday and Saturday nights with his younger colleagues and finding handsome men to take home. Occasionally the original gang got together, it was hard to figure out around childcare and alternating weeks but they made it work. Sirius and Peter could hang out more often than the others, but Sirius found Peter fairly boring on his own. When they did meet up with the two Dads- James always looked like a permanently exhausted pigeon and Remus..he looked knackered too but effortlessly handsome all the same and Sirius would have to go through the stages of regret all over again.

Remus was the one who got away and Sirius knew he would probably love the man for the rest of his life. It would just be from a comfortable distance instead of in his arms but that is what Sirius had chosen. Sirius had left, not Remus and Sirius had to suffer the consequences.

The few times he had hung out with the kids present was a refreshing reminder of exactly why he didn’t want them. Being Harry’s godfather, meant it was a sort of obligation to attend the child’s birthday parties and it was a different sort of hell. Stupidly James and Lily hosted the parties at their home, a bouncy castle in the garden and some kind of entertainer or other. The place would be cramped with snotty children running around with sticky, dirty hands either laughing, screaming or crying. Some of them would try and talk to Sirius about his motorbike but none of them could hold an intellectual conversation. They would say one random thing and then move on completely and Sirius didn’t understand a word half of them were saying. 

James took great pleasure in watching his best friend suffer, he would snort delightedly whenever Sirius pulled a face at an annoying sound a child made. He sort of understood why his parents locked him in his bedroom, not that he would ever do that to the little beasts but he got it. Kids really were relentlessly irritating.

The only ones he liked were Harry and Teddy. Harry was hilarious, he reminded Sirius so much of his Dad and couldn’t wait for Harry to be older and start being a cheeky sod. He knew in his soul that Harry would take after him and James, pulling pranks and playing football at school and he was excited to see who Harry became as he got older.

He only ever saw Teddy at Harry’s parties or around Christmas and Halloween, but he had a bit of a soft spot for him. He looked so much like Remus it was crazy, but the best thing about Teddy was that he wasn’t annoying. He didn’t scream or cry, he sat quietly by himself and played with his dinosaurs. Sometimes he watched as the other children ran by him, squealing and laughing excitedly. Sometimes he looked as if he wanted to join in but he was deaf and none of the kids could communicate with him. Sirius felt himself drawn to the child who couldn’t participate, he had taught himself sign language just to make those days a little easier for Teddy. 

Harry knew a little bit of sign too, James and Lily had taught him and themselves but whenever other friends were around, Harry simply got distracted and forgot. It wasn’t his fault and it also meant Sirius got to spend time with Teddy and his dinos. Letting himself feel that regret even deeper as Teddy smiled, laughed or gave Sirius his favourite toy to play with. Remus was always close by, sometimes he joined in and Sirius would ache painfully in his heart as the three of them played together. Sometimes Remus would stand back and observe them, feeling something similar to heartbreak as he watched Sirius be so great with his son. 

Overall though, Sirius definitely didn’t like children. Not all children were as great as Harry and Teddy, the majority really were just gross crying little gremlins and he was thankful he could go home to peace, serenity and silence. He was glad he had a flat to himself, he could have people round whenever he fancied and he didn’t need to worry about being too loud and waking anyone up. His spare room had been empty for years, his friends no longer stayed over after long exhausting nights out because they were boring and responsible now. Sirius had contemplated getting a dog but it wasn’t fair, the poor thing being stuck in a flat with no garden and who would look after it when he was working? So, the room remained empty.

It’s way into Saturday afternoon when he finally wakes up, he stretches out and starfishes in his bed and sighs as the hot sun breaks through his curtains. The very first thing he does his reach for his phone, seeing several texts from James and he can’t help but smile sleepily as he reads through. James was such a Dad these days, but he was great at it. He reminded Sirius so much of James’ late Dad, Fleamont.

prongs: picnic on park with the kids if you wanna come?
prongs: bet ur still sleeping n wasting a perfectly good summers day!!
prongs: *sent 5 photos*
prongs: we got ice cream bet ur jealous now
prongs: teddy asking for you! Told him ur in bed and he says ur lazy :p
prongs: who’d you shag last night anyways?
padfoot: my head hurts go away

Sirius shuffles around a little to get comfy, he could very easily fall asleep again if he tried hard enough and he really didn’t feel like moving yet. His eyes start to feel heavier, he can feel himself drifting off but he’s interrupted by a loud tapping at the door. He ignores it at first, thinking whoever it is will just go away but then there’s another louder knock. It’s persistent and annoying, he knows whoever it is isn’t leaving and he thinks possibly, it might be James. 

He sits up, straining his ears as the knocking stops and prays to god that if it is James, that he left the dirty kids at the park and hasn’t brought them to his mostly white flat. He’s never had children in his flat before, it’s expensive and pristine. He’s pretty sure their grubby little hands would ruin the walls in seconds and the balcony isn’t the safest thing in the world. He’s been meaning to fix the balcony doors for months but it isn’t urgent, it’s only him in the flat. The knocking starts again, he groans in annoyance as he throws his duvet off himself and slips into his boxer shorts.

If he wanted to go to the park, he would have answered but the idea of sitting in the sun with bugs attempting to invade the picnic basket whilst they tried to have adult conversations around little ears wasn’t his idea of a good time. James knew that but it could only be James who knocked that persistently. Most people would have assumed he was out or sleeping, James on the other hand, wouldn’t have cared. 

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” He yells impatiently as he heads towards the door, the knocking stopping rather abruptly.

He swears he hears footsteps retreating and running from the door, he’s about to be really annoyed if it was James playing knock-a-door run with the kids. They had done it at James’ house with Harry and Teddy, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world but Sirius knew if it was him on the other side of the door- he’d be pissed.

He peeps through peep hole and sees no one waiting on the other side of the door, he rolls his eyes as he swings it open and looks down the corridor in annoyance. James was such a knobhead.

”Down here.” A little voice says, startling Sirius despite not being loud at all.

Sirius steps back in surprise, his grey eyes wide as he looks down at the small boy standing in front of him. There’s a small black suitcase next to him and a large red duffel bag, the child looks far too small to have carried them on his own. The child is almost identical to himself. The same piercing grey eyes as his own stare up at him, looking absolutely petrified, his small lip is wobbling slightly with fear and Sirius isn’t sure what to do or say. The kid looks just like him, scarily like him and he can’t shake the sickly feeling washing over him.

”W-what’s your name?” Sirius asks, clearing his throat nervously.

”Leo.” He whispers back shyly, “Leo Sirius Black.”

Sirius inhales sharply, the blood draining from his body and leaving him feeling dizzy, “L-Leo Black? Jeez..uhm okay. One minute.”

He closes the door behind him, leaving the small boy on the otherside as he runs to his bedroom. He almost trips over his own feet as he grabs his phone, on the verge of a panic attack as he dials James’ number. It only rings twice before James answers, his voice sounding bright and happy as always.

”You coming to the par-“

”I have a kid.” Sirius blurts out, inhaling deeply and exhaling sharply as he tries to think.

He doesn’t remember ever sleeping with a woman, he doesn’t think he’s slept with one since before Remus-he would’ve been a teenager.

“What?” James asks, a slight amused huff at the end of his question.

”A kid. A son. He just turned up at my flat-“

”Woah Woah slow down.” James says, sounding alarmed and panicked himself now, “A son?”

Sirius nods as he continues rambling, “Yes! A little boy! He’s outside my flat just..he turned up? Or got dropped off? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do? I bloody hate children, Prongs! He looks just like me. I’m going to throw up-“

“You’re literally gay.” James points out, “When was the last time you slept with a woman?”

”I don’t know anymore!” Sirius snaps, “All I know is some little kid is at my front door and-“

”You left him outside your flat?” James ask slowly in disbelief, “How old is he?”

”I don’t know..three? four? Maybe five? Or six-“

James groans, “Padfoot! Bring the fucking child inside! How do you know he’s yours?”

”He’s called Leo Sirius Black.” Sirius says as he rushes back through the flat, “I need help James. I am begging.”

”Okay. We’re coming to you-“

”But my walls-“

”Mate. If you’re a Dad I think the walls are the least of your worries, we’re coming to yours right now.” James sternly hisses, “Let the child sit on the sofa at least, Jesus Christ.”

”Okay. Okay.” Sirius agrees hesitantly as he swings the front door open again.

The little boy flinches slightly, his eyes looking like a little lost puppy as he clutches a small stuffed rabbit close to his chest. Sirius feels his heart sink, he is distinctly aware of James saying his name in the phone but all he can focus on is the fear in the boys face. It takes him back in time. It reminds him of all the times his younger brother would stand before his bedroom door, his eyes filled with tears as their parents screamed the house down. The realisation slaps him all at once, he swallows thickly as he looks down at the child. He wasn’t the Dad at all. This child belonged to Regulus.

Sirius hadn’t seen his brother in ten years, he was shunned from the Black family for being a gay man and Regulus had chosen their side over his. He was certain that Regulus had married a woman some time ago, but he didn’t actively keep up with his estranged brothers life. It made more sense than him getting a random girl pregnant. He wasn’t a Dad but he was an Uncle, and for some reason or another, his nephew was at his doorstep.

”Where is your Dad?” Sirius asks gently, vomit crawling up his throat as he jumps to the worst case scenario.

Leo blinks at him, then reaches into his Jean pocket with one hand and takes out a small crumpled piece of paper. He holds it out to Sirius, his little hands shaking with fear as Sirius takes hold of it. He can still hear James’ voice on the line, trying to capture his attention but he looks at the child, unable to focus on little else. His heart is clenching dangerously in his chest, his own hand begins to shake as he unravels the paper and sees a letter addressed to him.

Sirius,

Meet your nephew, his name is Leo Sirius Black and he is four years old. Unfortunately, Regulus has found himself in prison and will be serving at least three years. I am not prepared to throw my life away or rearrange my summer plans for a child I never even wanted. It took some coaxing but your brother finally saw sense and gave up your location. I know you don’t speak anymore but it’s either this or Walburga and Orion. If you don’t want him that’s fine, his Uncles Barty and Evan are trying to get back to the UK in order to collect him but they don’t have passports and have to wait for their renewal. Your parents are still at Grimmauld if you want to take Leo to them but Regulus begged me not to do that, to the point he was in tears. I ain’t really sure what else to say except Leo has a nut allergy and cries for his stupid Dad every night. 
Good luck and thank you:)

Regulus had gotten himself locked up! Sirius couldn’t believe that. His brother was an idiot but not a criminal, he wasn’t like their parents and he definitely wouldn’t have done anything to risk custody of his son. There was more to this entire story and Sirius needed answers but he knew that first, he had to get Leo safely inside and wait for James’ help.

Chapter Text

James paces back and to, pausing occasionally to look at the quiet child sat stiffly on the sofa. Remus is leaning against the wall, his own eyes lingering on Sirius, who has his head buried into his hands. Harry and Teddy are playing cars vs dinosaurs on the floor, Leo is watching them curiously but doesn’t make a move to sit with them. Possibly too nervous in this strange house with three stressed out men he’s never met. Harry had offered but Leo was shaking with fear and shook his head. James’ son had left a space for him though, incase he changed his mind.

Remus and James exchange a knowing look, despite his ‘fear’ of children- Sirius would never send Leo to live with Walburga and Orion. He would never put the boy through their abuse and they all knew it. Sirius himself knew it, despite his denial and his anxiety, he had already started figuring out the logistics in his head. He had a spare room, he could keep Leo safe until his Uncle’s came for him. He knew it would be difficult but it was temporary, as much as he disliked children- he would never put anyone through what he went through. Walburga and Orion would not see their grandson as long as Sirius was alive.

Sirius hadn’t said anything else to the boy, other than telling him to sit and offering him a drink- which he had declined extremely politely. Sirius was sort of surprised at that, his mannerisms were just like Regulus’ and it made him feel sick. Whoever this kids Mum was, didn’t seem concerned with ensuring it was definitely Sirius’ flat. He could have moved away and then what? His nephew could have been hurt. He didn’t know who she was but he was pretty fucking livid with her for many reasons.

”Erm how old are you?” James asks, frowning at Leo.

Leo looks up at James as he holds up four fingers.He was a bit small for his age but Regulus had been too until he shot up as a teenager and surpassed Sirius in height. Sirius was still a little bitter about that. James nods, kneeling in front of Leo with a reassuring smile.

”Do you know what your parents are called?”

Leo hesitates before whispering, “Um..Mummy and Daddy.”

”Okay.” James smiles fondly, “Did Mummy bring you here?”

Leo shakes his head, “Mummy is in heaven.”

Sirius’ head snaps up towards Leo, his heart cracking in his chest as he stares at the small boy. The stuffed rabbit he was clinging to was turning a little grey from dirt but it was meant to be white. Sirius could remember one similar that Regulus had as a child. He wonders if it’s the same one, passed down to the boy in front of him or if Regulus had purchased it or if it was just a coincidence. He found himself wondering if the child’s favourite animal was a bunny and perhaps that was why he was clinging to it, or if maybe, his Mother had got him it. He sure protected the thing with every fibre of his being. He felt guilty for assuming the child’s Mum had ditched him here but he had so little to go on. He still didn’t know who dropped Leo off at his door.

”And your Daddy?” Sirius asks, his voice sounding strained and hoarse.

Leo fiddles nervously with the rabbits ear, unable to meet Sirius’ eyes as he whispers, “Auntie Lucia says Daddy is a bad man.” He swallows deeply, “My Daddy..isn’t mean or bad. My Daddy is nice. He buys me ice cream and takes me to the park and on holidays to see my Uncles and he is my bestest bestest friend in the whole entire world. He buyed me a scooters for my birf-day and took me to the fair!”

”Your Daddy is my little brother..”Sirius whispers softly, “He used to be my best best friend too.” He glances at James who nods encouragingly. “When we were little we pinky promised to always look after each other and I think that’s why you are here with me now.. I’m really sorry I haven’t been around Leo, but I promise you’re safe here.”

Leo considers what Sirius is saying and sighs, placing the rabbit teddy besides him as he looks at Sirius with an expression that means business, “Daddy will come ands picks me up soon.”

”Leo-“

”He’s not bad so they can’t lock him in the jail.” Leo says with a confident nod.

”I found her.” Remus says, holding his phone up to show the Facebook profile of Lucia Holden.

James nods in acknowledgment before turning back to Leo, “Why don’t you play with the boys? They love making new friends? Hey Haz, include Leo okay? He’s your..cousin? Sort of..maybe?”

Harry nods enthusiastically, “Come on cousin!”

Leo nervously glances around, snatches his rabbit back and then slowly lowers himself to the floor besides Harry. Sirius watches curiously as Leo anxiously sits between the two boys, it takes a few long seconds before the four year old takes a toy and starts quietly joining in.

”Kitchen?” Remus suggests.

The three men go to the kitchen, they can still see the children as it’s open plan but the kids won’t be able to overhear their conversation. Sirius can tell Remus has done a little stalking whilst Sirius and James spoke with Leo, but he’s stalling slightly as he checks over his shoulder and Sirius can tell there’s something Remus doesn’t want to say.

”Spit it out, Moons.” James mumbles impatiently, nervously tugging at his sleeves.

”Lucia’s sister, Saria Black died a year ago.. according to this status, she had Leo dumped on her three weeks ago and was complaining because she wanted to go on her retreat with her friends still.” 

Sirius sighs, “So what? Reggie's been in jail for three weeks? Does it say what for?”

“No.” Remus shakes his head, “Barty Crouch-Rosier did comment begging her to keep hold of Leo until he and his husband can come over to the UK.”

”They were his best friends in school, Barty and Evan..” Sirius trails off with a frown.

Regulus had turned his back on Sirius for being gay but..his two best friends were gay and Leo knew them as his Uncle’s- it didn’t add up. Remus scrolls further and further down until he finds a photo of Lucia with Saria and Regulus on their wedding day. He clicks on Regulus’ tagged profile and inhales sharply, as he turns the phone towards James and Sirius. Leo was definitely Regulus’ son. Sirius reaches out, his fingers accidentally brushing against Remus’ as he takes the phone to look closer. His heart speeds up in his chest at the small sparks of electricity between them but he avoids Remus’ gaze as he focuses on the phone. His brother was almost identical to himself, they had always been told how similar they looked but their personalities were polar opposites.

None of that mattered now though, the most important thing was how devoted he was to Leo. They only had access to public posts, but it was clear how much Regulus adored his son. It looked as though he lived and breathed for his little boy, in a way that Orion and Walburga never could have. Sirius feels proud of Regulus for the first time since they were teenagers. He had managed to escape years of abuse and ensure the same thing never happened to Leo. He appeared to be such a hands on, loving and kind Father..but he was in prison and Sirius still hadn’t the slightest idea as to why.

”We should reach out to Barty. Let him know I have Leo and he can collect him from me when he’s in the country.” Sirius says, passing Remus his phone back.

James blinks in surprise, “Oh? You’re actually letting them take him?”

”He knows them better than he knows me.” Sirius shrugs, “I didn’t even know he existed until two hours ago. He will be better off with them..I don’t..I don’t like kids. They’re..you know..kids.”

Remus snorts softly, “They’re really not that bad, Padfoot.”

Sirius raises his eyebrow at Remus, “Yes they are.”

”If you say so.” Remus mutters as he types away on his phone, “Barty says it’ll take at least a month..”

”A MONTH?!” Sirius squeaks out loudly, he lowers his voice to a hiss, “A month? A fucking month?!”

”Its fine.” James reassures blankly, “We’re here. We can help-“

”I didn’t sign up for this!” Sirius snaps furiously, “I don’t like kids? I don’t bloody want them!”

”So you keep saying.” Remus rolls his eyes, “It’s a month Sirius and then you can go back to shagging about.”

Sirius mouth falls open slightly, “I..I didn’t even think about that! It’s just.. what do I feed it?”

”Food.” James answers unhelpfully, “Not takeaways Sirius, they don’t count.”

”Don’t call your nephew it.” Remus adds, “Make sure he drinks plenty of water, lots of veggies and if he’s scared of the dark he will need a night light-“

”and monster spray!” James adds enthusiastically, “It’s a life saver!”

Sirius had never even heard of monster spray before! He was not cut out for this, he carried on listening in bewilderment as Remus and James continued to list various different things about being a parent and how to take care of a growing dependent human being. He was the worst person for this job, he was still surprised Lily had agreed to let him be Harry’s godfather. He wasn’t meant to play the part of a carer. He was just meant to be single rich fun Uncle Sirius to his friends kids, but here he was living his worst nightmare.

”I have the prison phone number for Regulus.” Remus announces with a satisfied smile, “Barty says it’s extortionate paying from where they are so..they’re wondering if you will call him and let him know Leo is safe?”

”They want me to call my criminal brother after ten years of not speaking to him?”

James sighs, “To let him know his little boy is safe.”

”Fine.” Sirius huffs, “But he better tell me why he’s locked up.”

”I’m sure he will.” James says uncertainly.

Sirius grabs his own phone, copying the prison number down from Remus’ screen and hovers over the call button. He’s never had to ring into a prison before and he’s oddly nervous about that, but nothing is more terrifying than knowing you’re about to call your estranged brother. They had said not a single word to each other in ten long years and that spell was about to be broken with one conversation. He knew Regulus needed and deserved to know Leo was okay, but it didn’t soften his own personal worries about everything. 

“Pads?” Remus meets Sirius’ eyes and offers him a quick smile, “You can do it.”

For some reason, hearing those words from Remus’ lips inspires something within. He suddenly feels like he can take on the damn world, no matter how gullible or impulsive it seems. Remus always made him feel stronger than he actually was, there was just something about him like he was magic and the words he spoke just miraculously came true. Sirius felt like he absolutely could do it.

”You are through to Azkaban Prison, please state the name of the prisoner you wish to speak with and your relation to them. Thank you.” An automated message says, followed by a loud beep.

”Regulus Black. His brother.”

”Thank you. Please hold.” 

The phone starts playing waiting music, it’s nothing exciting or anything. It reminds Sirius of the on loop music that rides play at carnivals. It was repetitive and annoying. He paces in the kitchen area, occasionally glancing over at the three children playing together. His eyes linger on his nephew for longer and longer each time, his heart filling with fondness and a fierce protectiveness he has for the other two already. Leo was quickly growing on him and all he had to do was exist.

”Sirius?” A panicked voice sounds from the other end of the line.

”Regulus?”

”Oh god Sirius! It is you!” Regulus breathes out, his voice shaking, “Please tell me-“

“Leo is safe Reg. I’ve got him.”

Regulus exhales sharply,”Thank fuck.” 

“What the fuck is this? What is happening?”

”I got arrested. No trial. They just threw me in here but I swear to fucking god Siri, I haven’t done anything! I didn’t do anything!” Regulus insists, his voice erratic as he continues to ramble, “I left the family after my wife died. I wanted fuck all to do it with it all. I just wanted peace. I swear, I didn’t know-“

”Why are you in jail Reg?”

”Drugs.” Regulus laughs bitterly, “I haven’t got enough time to explain..you’ll..” he hesitates, “you will have to visit me..please? Please give me a chance to explain everything.. just please?”

”Okay..”

”Leo..is he? Is he okay?”

”He’s playing with Harry and Teddy.” Sirius mumbles, side eyeing James and Remus as the continue to linger nearby.

”Oh.. are they your kids?”

Sirius barks out a sharp laugh, “Do I look paternal to you? They’re not my kids, they’re my friends kids.”

”He’s terrified of the dark Sirius.” Regulus says after a dragged out silence, “He won’t sleep unless he has a light..his Mum died of cancer a year ago and he’s really sensitive Sirius. I don’t want him to think I left him on purpose because I didn’t..I never wanted to leave him.”

”I’ll make sure he knows.”

”He’s allergic to nuts.” Regulus continues, his voice breathless as he struggles to hold back tears, “He has an epi pen, you have to carry it with you at all times.”

”Noted.”

”His best friend is Luna Lovegood, if you can..reach out to Pandora..let him see them..it’ll do him good to have some..some.. normality.”

Sirius grabs a pen, quickly writing down the name on an old receipt as well as the nut allergy, “What else to I need to know?”

”The rabbit teddy. He cannot sleep without it. He won’t go anywhere without it.” Regulus says, “His Mum got it for him, he doesn’t really remember her much but he knows that it was her who gave him that and it means a lot to him. He can’t lose it Sirius.”

”Okay.”

”He can be painfully shy and quiet especially around adults..that’s my fault.. I never should have let Maman et Papa near him.. they scared him.” Regulus whispers, his voice cracking, “Lucia is a bitch too. He likes being read to at night time, he likes Peter Pan but I make up my own versions of it, Peter has different adventures every time-“

”Reggie.” Sirius’ own voice wobbles as he speaks, “I’ll do my best until Evan and Barty arrive.”

”Thank you.”

”Anything else he’s allergic too?”

”Not as far as we know.”

”Is he a fussy eater?”

”Not really, but-“ Regulus is abruptly cut off by the automated message, telling Sirius his call time is over.

”Fuck.” Sirius curses, running his free hand through his hair, “It cut me off!”

James nods, “You only get ten minute phone calls in there.”

”Fuck.” Sirius looks at the receipt with his messy handwriting and sighs. As long as he remembered the nut allergy and the rabbit, they should be okay. 

“Is the spare room ready?” Remus asks, “I can..I’ll make the bed if you want?”

”Er yeah cheers Remus.” Sirius smiles small as he sinks against the counters, “What am I going to do?”

James brushes their shoulders together, noticing the way Sirius watches Remus disappear into the spare bedroom, “You’ll join the Fatherhood.”

”Ugh..” Sirius grimaces, “What’s that entail?”

”We take the boys to the park for picnics, we take them to ball pits and swimming..we try to do it as often as we can.” James grins, “Ooh it’s gonna be so much fun with you there too!”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Do I look like I want to go to a ball pit?”

”You will love it.” James insists, “We definitely have to go swimming!”

”No thanks.”

”Remus looks great in his swimming trunks.” James winks playfully.

Sirius nudges him harshly with his elbow, “Shut up.”

“He is a divorced dilf, can ogle him as much as you want.”

”Precisely. He might be divorced but he’s still a Dad.” Sirius mumbles, shaking his head.

James shrugs, a mischievous gleam in his eyes, “Do you know why they divorced?”

Sirius turns his head towards James, recognising the gleeful look in his eyes. James knew something that Sirius didn’t, but before he could ask, Remus returns looking perplexed as he dumps the dirty sheets into the wash basket.

”Is there somewhere else you can move your treadmill?” Remus asks with a frown.

”I forgot that was in there.” Sirius shrugs, “I suppose it could go in the living-room..”

“Yeah they’re dangerous for kids. I’ll never forget when Harry ran on mine and went flying back, it was hilarious but Lily was not impressed.” James laughs, his smile evaporating on the spot when he sees the look on Remus’ face, “I mean it’s funny to look back on! It wasn’t funny at the time!”

”I have some old bedding I can bring.” Remus suggests quietly, avoiding Sirius’ eyes.

”What’s wrong with the bedding I have?”

”Nothing but he’s four..” Remus smirks raising his eyebrow, “He might just want something more…childlike.”

”Slow down.” Sirius demands, holding his hand up to silence Remus, “He is staying for a month. I am not bending over backwards, readjusting my home and making it more…child friendly when he won’t be here next month! He can sleep in there how it is.”

“Does he have any toys with him?” James asks, “He will only get bored and start jumping on furniture and stuff if he doesn’t have toys..”

”Fucking hell.” Sirius rolls his eyes, “I’ll buy him some.”

”Yeah?” James lights up, “The big toy store in town is incredible! They have light-up tunnels between the aisles and-“

Remus snorts softly, “Have a feeling James likes that place more than the kids do.”

“I suppose I’d better go now before it closes Hmm?” Sirius grabs his keys and wallet off the kitchen counter, “Oi Leo! We’re going to the toy shop!”

”I wanna go to the toy shop!” Harry whinges standing to his feet eagerly.

”You can come in my car.” James suggests, “You won’t get shit home with a motorbike.”

“No one sign about the toy shop, I’m taking Teddy to his Mums.” Remus begs, he looks at Sirius and squeezes his shoulder,“Good luck.”

When Remus drops his hand, Sirius stares at the spot where it had been. He can feel the ghost of his finger tips squeezing lightly on his skin and he burns with the loss of contact. They never touched each other, they both avoided it. James was very affectionate, always hugging his friends but Remus and Sirius avoided even handshakes. Being exes with the same group of friends could be challenging sometimes. There was always the awkward dance around of if they should or shouldn’t do something. They had figured it out now, not touching and not being left alone was the best way to handle unwanted feelings.

Sirius can’t help but watch Remus as he gathers his and Teddy’s things, his stomach twisting itself into knots as he bends over. James nudges him pointedly and Sirius could slap him for interrupting his silent admiration of his exes backside. When Remus leaves the flat, hand in hand with Teddy, James dives on Sirius eagerly and grins.

”They divorced because-“

”Excuse me?” Leo asks, a gentle tug on Sirius’ t-shirt, “I need to go toilet.”

“Oh it’s just there.” Sirius points, watching as Leo hurries down the corridor to the loo.

James smiles after him and sighs, “He’s so cute.”

”Is he?” Sirius frowns, “He just seems..”

”Anyway! The divorce is all your fault!” James finally says, clapping his hands together excitedly.

”My fault?!” Sirius gapes, “What the fuck did I do?”

James grins, “You’re not the only one still in love with their ex.”

”No.” Sirius denies shaking his head, “You’re wrong. I’m not in love with anyone.”

”Please.” James scoffs, “The way you look at him has never changed and neither is the way he looks at you.”

Sirius blushes a little and then groans, “It doesn’t matter! He has a son and that is a dealbreaker.”

”Is it though?” James asks annoyingly, his eyebrows wiggling, “You adore Teddy.”

”Yeah because I don’t have to see him everyday.” Sirius folds his arms in protest, “Just drop it James. Kids are a no. Remus has a kid. It wouldn’t work.”

James shrugs as he walks away to help Harry get his shoes on, but he still has a shit eating grin on his face. The stupid smile that says he knows it all and Sirius knows nothing at all. But Sirius is certain on this, he might want Remus but he does not want children. No matter how sweet Teddy might be.

Chapter Text

Sirius looks around his living-room in annoyance, James is kneeling with Harry and Leo as he continues unboxing new toys and trashing Sirius’ beautiful flat. Sirius was proud of his place, it was all modern amenities and white gloss and high ceilings. Everything had a place, there was no clutter or mess because it was his bachelor pad. It was perfect. It lacked the homely warmth that James’ place had, but it was practical and suited Sirius just fine. Now it was covered in ripped up cardboard and bright coloured toys. 

It wasn’t even Leo who got carried away in the toy shop, it was admittedly himself and James.  
Ollivanders was an emporium with all kinds of toys, games and fun activities and Sirius was so excited by the tunnels as James had said. It felt like healing his inner child, he got overwhelmed and spent far too much money on random shit that simply looked cool. Orion and Walburga had been so strict that himself and Regulus had very few toys and the toys they did have were rarely touched as they were too busy with governesses and tutors to enjoy their childhood. 

Leo had shyly trailed behind the excitable adults, Harry ran ahead to his favourite section and Leo was just standing there. Sirius had to gently coax him into talking about his favourite things, it didn’t really work as Leo himself was obviously overwhelmed by everything that had happened that day. But then he saw the child’s face when he spotted a blue scooter on the last aisle and he knew that’s what Leo wanted, even though he didn’t ask for it or speak up. It was the way his eyes lit up when he spotted it. It didn’t matter how many times Sirius told him he could have anything he wanted, the child just remained quiet and Sirius was grateful that he had noticed the infatuation with the scooter because at least now, Leo had something he would enjoy playing with. The rest of it had been stuff Sirius liked the look of or things James said Leo might like because Harry did.

He found he didn’t mind splashing the cash, most of it sat untouched in his bank account and he had far too much money and nothing to spend it on anyway. Now they were back at his flat though, he regretted it immensely. Everything looked out of place but he let James get on with entertaining the kids, whilst he cringed at the mere thought of dirty handprints on his white coffee table.

He was already stressing about the month ahead, he’d need to sort out childcare for when he was working and James had told him how important routine was for children but Sirius couldn’t comprehend how to get into one. He was 32, lived alone, spent the weekdays working and the weekend partying and sleeping until he could be bothered to wake up. Now he would have to force himself out of bed to feed and dress a child, something he had never wanted to experience or do with his life. He would do it though. As much as he disliked children, he would never send his nephew to live with his parents or place him in a care home. He heard horror stories about those places and if he could save Leo from a similar fate to himself and Reggie then he would. He couldn’t promise to do a brilliant job at it though, all he could do was his best but he could already sense the doom.

”Pads?” James says, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts, “We gotta get going, Lily says she’s dishing tea out in an hour.”

”Ah okay.” Sirius nods, realising he too would have to figure something out food wise for Leo, “I’m assuming she doesn’t know about my guest yet?”

James grins, “I’m telling her tonight. I can’t wait to see her face.”

Sirius tuts at him, glancing over at the floor where Leo is sprawled on the carpet and drawing something. Sirius feels a smile spreading across his face at the sight. Leo’s little legs swinging back and fourth in the air, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he focuses on his artwork. Regulus had been an artist too when they were kids, seeing tiny pieces of his younger brother in Leo was heartwarming but it also hurt. They had grown so far apart as adults, sometimes Sirius wishes he could turn back the clock and make sure Regulus knew just how much Sirius loved him. Maybe then their adulthood would have been different.

When James and Harry leave, Harry screaming about wanting to stay with Leo and dutifully reminding Sirius as to why he didn’t like children, he decides to make a start on dinner. He had never had to cook before, he usually ate out or ordered takeout but his friends had said Leo needed veggies. He’s sure he has some somewhere, but when he opens his fridge it contains nothing but cool beers. He opens the food cupboards to find an opened packet of pasta and a potato with a root growing out of the top. He frowns to himself, peering over the counter to see Leo still colouring contently. He really didn’t want to go shopping again today, Leo was being quiet and fuss free with his new toys and Sirius still had so much to think about.

”Hey kid.” Sirius calls over to him, “Do you like Maccies?”

Leo looks up from his drawing pad and frowns, “I not know what that is.”

Sirius scoffs, “Of course your Dad never took you to Maccies. Absolute snob. It’s the best ever food! You can have fries with a burger, chicken nuggets or fish fingers, it’s up to you buddy.”

Leo thinks for a moment, humming to himself before nodding, “Nuggets please Uncle Siri!”

His heart stills a little, he was used to Harry calling him that but it was different coming from Leo because it was his biological brothers little boy. He adored Harry and James but Sirius had never stopped missing Regulus, never stopped wondering how he was doing or where he was and now he had the biggest piece of Regulus’ life and heart in his flat.

He swallows and forces a smile, “Wise choice little man.” 

Leo doesn’t really touch his food, he sits besides Sirius on the sofa and nibbles timidly at the nugget in his hand. It doesn’t take a genius to know that today has been one of the longest, strangest days of his life and even though he’s only four, he will be feeling all the changes. Sirius himself was a stranger to Leo and as he eats his own food, he can’t help but watch Leo subtly as he barely eats. It worries him a lot. Regulus used to do the same thing whenever something was bothering him, but this isn’t Regulus. He has to remind himself to stop fretting like he used to over his brother, Leo was a different person.

“You not hungry?” He asks uncertainly.

Leo jumps slightly at the sound of Sirius’ voice, “You didn’t gives me a fork.”

”Oh.” Sirius laughs softly, “You don’t need a fork for this, you just use your fingers.” Picking up one of his own nuggets, “See?”

”Grandpa Black says that it’s rude to use your fingers.” Leo whispers, his grey eyes staring up at Sirius with concern, “I not want to get in trouble.”

Sirius‘ smile falls from his face, “No one will tell you off Leo, you’re not doing anything wrong.” He pauses for a moment, sensing the child’s nerves and stands to his feet, “I’ll get you a fork, yeah?”

”Thanks you.” Leo whispers, it’s so quiet that Sirius wouldn’t have caught it if he wasn’t still looking at him.

Once he has a fork he does eat a little more, not much but more than he ate the whole day and he drinks all his strawberry milkshake. Sirius is tempted to try and get him to eat a few fries but he doesn’t want to push him too far. Today has been weird for Sirius, he can only imagine how weird it must be from a four year olds perspective. Based on what he knows so far, Leo had been through hell and back. His Mum died a year ago, his Dad has been in jail for three weeks so far and now he was staying with an Uncle he had never met. Sirius knows things will improve once his Uncle Barty and Uncle Evan arrive to take over, Leo was probably more himself and more comfortable around those two.

Sirius couldn’t really imagine Evan and Barty being good with kids. At school they had been nasty little bullies, always picking on younger students and flirting relentlessly with girls who were not interested in them. He used to compete with them for certain girls attention, Emmeline, Marlene and Mary jump to mind. Turns out they were very gay just like Sirius and were most likely putting on a straight show, just like Sirius. He knows they won’t be the same as they were at thirteen, but that’s the only version of the two that Sirius knew and he wasn’t convinced they could look after a four year old any better than he could.

“What are Uncle Barty and Uncle Evan like?” Sirius wonders out loud, noticing the way Leo’s face instantly lights up.

”They’re so funny!” He says excitedly, “Uncle Bee likes to do jokes on Daddy like hide his keys so we get to play for even longer! One time we hided in the war-dobe so we could have a sleepsover and Daddy couldn’t find us and then I gots the giggles and he did.” He face palms himself and sighs, “So we had to go home! So not fair! And my Uncle Ev is deaf like Teddy, but he teached me to sign so we always make jokes about Daddy’s hair.”

Sirius blinks at Leo, “You know sign language?”

”And French, Italian and Russian.” He nods, “Daddy teached me.”

”So…you signed to Teddy earlier?”

Leo nods eagerly almost jumping off the sofa, “I like Teddy. He’s funny.”

“What did he say?”

”That you are lazy!” Leo giggles.

Sirius can’t help but laugh at that, Teddy was adamant that Sirius was lazy and he wasn’t wrong. Not really. He also can’t believe he just managed to have a whole conversation with Leo, he was so talkative when it came to his Uncle’s so that had to be a good sign. It was evident how much Barty cared about Leo, and Sirius senses Evan is very much in the same boat. Leo clearly adores and worships them, which is good he decides, but he can’t shake the weird sinking feeling in his stomach.

”Do you want to watch a movie before bed?” Sirius suggests, “I think Peter Pan is on Netflix at the moment.”

Leo nods, “Yes please! Peter Pan is the best!”

Leo fell asleep during the movie, curled up into a little ball on the opposite side of the sofa with his stuffed bunny held tightly against his chest. Sirius manages to carry Leo to his spare room without disturbing the snoring boy, he doesn’t bother changing him into his sleep clothes. He doesn’t see how it’s important when the child was so exhausted. Sirius just feels relieved that he had somehow survived the very first day. He sort of expected it all to be much much worse but Leo was calm and polite. He didn’t talk too much or complain, he didn’t whine or mess up Sirius’ house. He was as good as gold. Sirius could absolutely do this no problem.

Sirius was rudely awoken the next morning a little before six am to the sound of banging coming from the living area, in his sleepy daze he had forgotten all about his weird day yesterday and grabbed a baseball bat out of his closet to beat the robbers to a pulp. Of course there were no robbers, just a hyperactive four year old jumping on the sofa and trashing the living-room with all his toys. Sirius takes a moment to really assess everything going on, Leo had gone to town making his living-room an absolute bomb site. He could barely make out the floor beneath the piles of abandoned toys. Leo must have been awake for awhile to have cause all this.

”W-What?” Sirius splutters in shock, “What are you doing?”

Leo stops jumping and stares at Sirius as though he’s stupid, “Jumping.”

”Well don’t? It’s a sofa not a trampoline.” 

Leo timidly sits down, his light grey eyes staring wordlessly at Sirius as he waits to be scolded properly. His Daddy never told him off but other adults did, his Grandpa, Grandma and Auntie Lucia always yelled. Sirius looks around at the mess, noticing a blue felt tip leaking onto the fluffy white carpet where Leo had been colouring last night. He closes his eyes with stress before resting the bat against the wall and clapping his hands together.

”Right, it’s only six in the morning Leo, you have got to go back to bed.”

“I not tired.” Leo replies coolly, “I am hun-gy.”

Sirius blinks, his eyes feeling heavy with exhaustion, “Okay.. breakfast then..”

At that moment his phone rings somewhere in the kitchen and he quickly abandons the conversation to see James ringing. James never called at this time and Sirius feels panicked as he swipes to answer.

”Pads!” James singsongs happily, “I knew you’d be awake with Leo.”

Sirius groans dramatically, “Do all children wake up at this hour?”

”Unfortunately for us two.” James snorts, “Teddy doesn’t wake until half seven.”

“Half seven isn’t even an acceptable hour?”

James laughs, “Oh Padfoot, you have no idea. Teddy is a good sleeper.”

”I’m a good sleeper! Half seven is unacceptable.” Sirius mutters, “Six is even worse!”

”Bet you need breakfast don’t you?”

”I..yes..I need to do a food shop.” Sirius admits, his cheeks flushing pink, “I have beers but something tells me that’s not acceptable for breakfast or for children.”

”You’re such a tosser.” James tuts, “I’ll be there in ten with Haz and Lily. She wants to meet Leo.”

”Alright. Cool.”

”Is he allergic to anything?”

”Oh! Nuts!” Sirius responds, relieved that he remembered.

James laughs, “Ten parenting points to you! Just testing your knowledge!”

”You’re such a dick.” Sirius mumbles rolling his eyes, “See you in ten.”

Sirius had heard the saying, ‘it takes a village’ when people refer to parenting and raising children but he didn’t fully grasp the concept until now. James cooked breakfast in Sirius’ kitchen, it was the very first time the hob had even been used whilst Lily helped Leo get dressed and started to move his new toys into the spare bedroom. Whilst they did that, Sirius was able to wake himself up with a shower and get himself dressed for the day ahead. He wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to cope in the upcoming weeks because Lily and James couldn’t be there every day. He would have to manage all this alone eventually- at least until Barty and Evan took over.

The two children sat on the floor to tuck into their sausage and toast, the three adults squished together on the white sofa because Sirius did not own a dining table. He never had a need for one before as he rarely spent time in his own flat. Harry and Leo are chatting away, giggling noisily and Sirius can’t help but huff in annoyance, it wasn’t even eight am and the kids were already wide awake and annoying. 

“When is his birthday?” Lily asks curiously before taking another bite of her toast.

Sirius shrugs, “I ain’t got that far. I need to arrange a visit to Reggie.” He pauses for a moment, “Do you think he will want to see Leo or is jail a no go for kids?”

Lily presses her lips together tightly, “I suppose it’s personal preference but you’d need to ask Regulus if he wants that.. he might not want Leo to see him in there.”

“Yeah.. that’s what I’m worried about.” Sirius nods stiffly.

”We can watch him when you go visit.” James speaks up, nodding towards Harry and Leo on the carpet, “They get on great.”

”Oh! You’re not going to believe this!” Sirius says turning fully to James, “He knows sign language. He was signing to Teddy yesterday when they were playing.”

”Really?” James smiles, “Wait til Moony finds out. He will probably cry.”

”Do you think so?” Sirius frowns, “Why the fuck would he cry?”

Leo snaps his head towards Sirius and narrows his eyes at him, “That’s a no no word.”

”Yeah Sirius.” James nods teasingly, “That’s a no no word.”

”It’s because Teddy is always left out.” Lily explains softly, “Not many children know sign language around here.”

”I do!” Leo smiles happily, “Can we see Teddy today Uncle Siri?”

Sirius open and closes his mouth, he wants to say no because the idea of spending his Sunday surrounded by more than one screeching child is making him physically cringe. He would usually hook up with Fabian Prewett, the hot lifeguard at the swimming baths tonight but he can already tell that won’t be happening.

“After we’ve done your food shop, we’re meeting Remus and Frank with their boys if you fancy it?” James smiles knowingly, “We were thinking of going swimming and as I said yesterday, Remus looks real damn good-“

”That’s a no no word.” Leo says to James, his eyebrows raised in disgust.

Sirius grins at Leo, “Yeah James. Do better.”

James glares at Sirius then smiles menacingly, “Hey boys! Should we go swimming today?”

Leo looks at James in confusion then towards Sirius for guidance and approval. Sirius can’t handle the way Leo is staring at him, awaiting for Sirius’ answer so he caves and nods. Leo and Harry both cheer with happiness, then Leo falters slightly.

“I not has my swimming things.”

”Luckily Leo, I am filthy f-..very rich.” Sirius nods, “Don’t worry about it.”

James was right. Remus did look very very hot in his swimming trunks and Sirius could not stop staring. He really tried to avoid the other man’s general direction but it was impossible considering they were all swimming in the kiddos pool, supporting their child as they attempted to swim from the wall to their adult. James kept smirking and winding Sirius up with his stupid eyebrow wriggles, Frank had definitely clocked onto Sirius’ predicament and kept smiling between the two exes.

Leo kept splashing Sirius in the face, temporarily blinding him each time. It was loud. The squeals, laughter, splashing and shouting from every child in the over crowded and very public swimming baths was gross. Sirius wondered how many of them had peed in the time he had been in the water because he was first to admit he had done it all the time as a child. Remus in his red swimming shorts, however, made the trip to hell worth it. 

He wasn’t even intentionally looking, Remus just somehow appeared in his line of sight. Water dripping down his chest and navel, making Sirius mouth dry and his heart rate quicken. It was the most of Remus’ body he had seen since they split nearly ten years ago and it was still leaving him breathless. Remus was perfect, even all these years later and James absolutely knew what he was doing by inviting Sirius fucking swimming with them.

”Isn’t he gorgeous?” James teases lightly.

Sirius glares at him, “Shut up.”

”Ah look at those arms.” James mumbles, nodding towards Remus.

Sirius almost breaks his neck to turn back towards Remus, who’s lifting Teddy in the air, his strong arms tensing as he pretends to drop his son into the water but catches him at the last second. Teddy is laughing delightedly as Remus plays with him and Sirius can’t help but swoon. Remus was so bloody good at the Dad thing and Sirius, doesn’t feel that familiar regret. Instead, he is happy he left because Remus deserved exactly this. He deserved these moments with his son, he deserved the family that Sirius wasn’t willing to give him and he deserved every piece of happiness Teddy gave him.

”CANONBALLS!” Harry and Leo yell from the edge of the pool, Sirius turns to look at them just in time as the two kids jump directly in front of himself and James, splashing them with the impact of their bodies against the water. The two of them are laughing hysterically, James is laughing as Sirius rubs water out of his eyes. Sirius is not amused in the slightest. 

“Excuse me!”

Sirius looks up to see the lifeguard, Fabian Prewett of all people standing over the edge of the water. He looks surprised to see Sirius, he looks at Leo for a moment and then back towards Sirius.

”Um..hi Sirius.”

“Hey Fab.”

”James you already know the rules. No jumping in the pool.” Fabian says glancing at James pointedly and then looks back at Sirius, “Sorry do you have a child?”

”No no.” Sirius shakes his head, “He’s my nephew.” 

Fabian nods, his freckled face turning as red as his hair, “So..we still on for later?”

”My nephew is staying at mine so..I don’t know..no?”

”I can be really quiet.” Fabian smirks.

Sirius laughs, “I’d like to see you try.”

”I’m going to get going.” Remus announces abruptly.

Sirius turns away from Fabian at the sound of Remus’ voice, he watches as Teddy signs furiously at his Dad and Remus just ignores him. Teddy starts screaming, flailing his arms and legs around in protest as he cries. Sirius had never seen Teddy make such a fuss before. Remus doesn’t turn around to offer the friends a wave or anything. He just heads straight into the changing rooms without a goodbye. 

“They didn’t stay long did they?” Frank says, helping Neville adjust his armbands.

“Did I do something?” Sirius frowns.

James sighs and nods towards Fabian, “Are you that stupid?”

Fabian offers Sirius an awkward smile as James rolls his eyes and swims away to where Harry and Leo are splashing nearby. 

“So tonight?” Fabian asks.

Sirius glances over his shoulder at Leo, he didn’t want to ruin his own life and put his own desires on hold for a child. If he wanted to do that, he would have had a baby with Remus when he was in his twenties. And after seeing Remus in those red trunks, Sirius absolutely needed some sort of release.

He nods offering Fabian his sweetest smile, “As long as you’re quiet.”

Chapter Text

Fabian didn’t stay the night but Sirius got to have his sweet release. They agreed to do the same the following Sunday and Sirius was more than happy with the arrangement, Fabian was surprisingly quiet when he had to be and it meant Sirius didn’t have to give up sex completely. He doesn’t think he could have coped if he couldn’t have a bit of an occasional shag. Once a week was better than none at all.

It was very needed. Leo was not the polite, sweet child that Sirius had originally believed. He was just as loud, bratty and whiney as the rest of them. He had learnt the hard way, just how mean children could actually be. They were brutal, they knew exactly how to hit where it hurt with their words and Sirius was shocked. It had only been two days when Leo’s true colours started appearing, he was clearly comfortable in Sirius’ flat now which was a positive but it was all at Sirius’ expense. 

Monday morning, Sirius had called into work and explained the situation at hand. Luckily, his boss was extremely understanding and wished him luck on his journey to finding a babysitter. This time, Sirius had been prepared for the rude six am awakening, so when Leo did get up, he was already preparing breakfast in the kitchen. He was trying to make scrambled eggs but got distracted by the outfit his nephew had chosen. For some bizarre reason, Leo was wearing a pair of shorts over a pair jeans, odd socks on his feet, a vest over his pyjama top and a thick knitted Spider-Man hat.

Leo was elated and very proud of himself and his outfit. Sirius had to force a smile and praise the poor thing like an absolute fraud. His outfit was not ‘very cool’ or ‘a stylish choice’ and Sirius definitely wasn’t ‘reconsidering his own outfit for the day’. But it made Leo smile and that made Sirius’ heart warm inside.

Then the fire alarm went off, the pan was smoking and the breakfast was ruined. So they sat down on the sofa eating rainbow cheerios with milk instead. Leo spilt his and Sirius managed to keep his cool, there was no point in crying over spilt milk. They cleaned it together, making it into a fun little game. He even managed to convince Leo to change into an outfit he chose instead.

All was well.

Sirius found several numbers for babysitters, he went into his bedroom to call them whilst Leo sat in front of the TV watching some kids show with talking superhero dogs. He thought he could trust Leo to sit alone for five minutes, but with his back turned- Leo caused havoc.

Unable to see his Uncle Sirius in the room, Leo decided to help himself to a snack. Uncle Sirius had left all the snacks in the bottom drawer and he had told Leo he could help himself whenever he wanted. He chose a packet of wotsits, struggled to open the bag by himself but he kept on tugging until the bag burst and the crisps fell to the floor. Leo wasn’t sure what to do and got distracted by a different packet. This time, he was successful in opening it and he walked away, leaving the snack drawer open and standing in the orange crisps, trailing crumbs all over Sirius’ floors. 

After a few minutes, Leo got bored of Paw Patrol and decided to get his colouring things off the coffee table. He set them out on the fluffy white rug as that is what James and Harry did the other day, and he started to finish his drawing of himself and Daddy. His hands were covered in orange crumbs from the wotsits, not wanting to ruin his drawing he wiped his hands down on the rug and continued to colour his Daddy’s hair black. He missed his Daddy a lot and couldn’t wait for him to come home again.

He started to feel a little bit sad, he knew his Daddy would come home soon unlike his Mummy who was an angel but he was still afraid. What if his Daddy forgot all about him? What if he had to stay with Uncle Sirius forever? He wasn’t sure how he felt about Uncle Sirius yet. He was okay. They had gone swimming with Harry and Teddy, that had been a lot of fun but Leo still wished it was his Daddy instead. It was weird not having Daddy to read to him every single night. He wished he could sleep in his Daddy’s arms like he always did but he couldn’t and Uncle Sirius didn’t do that. He was sort of used to it now because his Auntie Lucia didn’t either. It was just him and his bunny, she gave the best cuddles when Daddy couldn’t.

Leo can hear Uncle Sirius chatting on the phone in the other room and rolls his eyes. Daddy had told him not to interrupt phone calls because they might be important but Uncle Sirius was taking ages! He was so so bored.

Then he remembers the blue scooter that Uncle Sirius had got and he runs barefoot into the bedroom he slept in and grins to himself happily. It was the exact same one that his Daddy had got him for his birthday. It made Leo very happy because it was like having his Daddy close by, they had taken his scooter to the park almost every single day just so Leo could race on the path. It was his absolute favourite thing to do with his Daddy because his Daddy would have to chase after him. He was super duper fast on his scooter!

He starts scooting around the house, picking up speed on the hardwood floors as he rides around the kitchen in a circle. He is laughing as he does, imagining his Daddy chasing after him as he races down the path of the park.

Sirius finishes his phone calls, he wasn’t too impressed with any of the babysitters. They were all inexperienced or lacked specific qualifications and he was taking no chances when it came to Leo’s care. He can hear the four year old laughing hysterically as he heads out of his bedroom, his alerts on high as he rushes out to investigate. He sees the child speeding around the kitchen island on his blue scooter, the snack drawer left wide open and it was just an accident waiting to happen.

”Leo! Stop!” Sirius says getting his attention, “We don’t scooter in the flat!”

Leo glares at Sirius, before he continues playing on his scooter, “You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my Daddy!”

Sirius blinks in surprise, “Err no I’m not your Dad but you’re in my flat and I said stop.”

“I don’t want to!” Leo continues, picking up speed and laughing to himself.

”Leo.”

”No!”

“Leo! It’s not safe to scooter indoors!”

”Shut up, you loser!”

Sirius blinks again in disbelief, “What did you call me?”

”A loser.” Leo announces proudly, “You are a ugly loser with stupid hair.”

”Wow. Okay.” Sirius says, somewhat speechless, “Too far. Get off the scooter, I’m putting it away.”

”No!”

”Leo. I’m warning you.” Sirius says sternly, his hands on his hips, “It’s time to put the scooter away.”

“Shut up!” Leo screams, “You’re not my Daddy!”

”I don’t want to be your bloody Dad!” Sirius huffs in annoyance, “Go to your room.”

”I hate you!”

”Feelings mutual.” Sirius mutters as Leo storms off, slamming his bedroom door closed, “Little shit.”

He takes in the mess Leo created and sighs, rubbing his temples with his fingers. Before he starts to clean though, he checks himself out in the mirror. His hair was perfectly fine. Maybe Leo needed glasses like James. He hoovers the orange crumbs, puts Leo’s orange stained socks into the wash basket and then groans when he noticed the felt tips on the white fluffy rug. His rug was ruined, the kid had used black of all colours and left it open on the floor, the ink had dripped slightly creating a black circle on his soft white rug. He’d have to bin it, nothing was getting black ink out of that. It was his own fault really, thinking he could keep his £2,000 rug out with a small child around.

About fifteen minutes later he hears shuffling behind him, he turns to see Leo rubbing his puffy red eyes and his heart drops. He feels so guilty for making him cry but he couldn’t just let Leo do whatever he wanted, could he? The four year old was wrecking his home and he could’ve hurt himself. He didn’t want to banish him to his room, but he just needed a few minutes to breathe so he didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t want to do anything Orion and Walburga did when he was a child, but his patience was wearing thin.

”Uncle Siri?” Leo asks, his voice wobbling a little as he holds his rabbit teddy against his chest, “I is sorry Uncle Siri.”

Sirius sighs and pats the empty seat besides him, “It’s alright Leo.”

”I in a grumpy mood today.” Leo admits quietly as he perches on the edge of the sofa, “You’re not ugly Uncle Siri.”

”Thanks kid.” Sirius laughs softly, before frowning, “Why are you grumpy?”

”I want my Daddy.” Leo whispers, holding the bunny even tighter, “I want Daddy.”

”Sorry kid.” Sirius says sincerely, truthfully he wanted Regulus too. He wasn’t sure how to comfort or reassure the ‘grumpy’ four year old, he had very little experience with children and he sort of wishes he had paid more attention to how Remus and James did it. He expected tantrums and disagreements but he hadn’t expected to have his ego bruised by the words of a four year old.

”Uncle Siri?”

”Yeah?”

”Can we..go to the park with the scooter?” Leo asks quietly, a little scared at asking for something, “Please?”

Sirius smiles weakly, Leo was starting to get comfortable enough to express himself and so he nods, “Sure.”

It’s a warm summers day so they don’t take their coats, Sirius is on edge as Leo speeds down the path on the scooter. He stupidly hadn’t purchased a helmet to go with it, ordinarily he wouldn’t have noticed or cared. He had seen plenty of kids without helmets to protect their heads when cycling and skateboarding but those kids weren’t anything to do with him. They weren’t his responsibility but now he was fretting like crazy, visions of Leo flying over the handle bars and smashing his head open playing in his mind.

”TEDDY!” Leo yells excitedly, picking up speed as he scoots ahead towards the park.

”No! Leo!” Sirius begs, hopelessly jogging after the runaway child. He had very clearly told Leo some rules for the park before they left the flat but of course he didn’t listen. If he got kidnapped or harmed, Regulus was going to skin Sirius alive for fucks sake.

When he catches up, Leo is signing animatedly to Teddy and Remus is standing a besides them looking a little shocked. Sirius hadn’t had chance to inform Remus of Leo’s signing knowledge and they hadn’t had chance to do it at the pool because Leo was so excited swimming about and splashing. Remus smirks at Sirius when he rests his hands on his thighs to catch his breath.

”I didn’t know he could sign.” Remus says when Sirius finally looks up at him.

”Oh yeah Evan is deaf apparently.” Sirius says, “I don’t know how or anything but they use sign language a lot apparently.”

”Never thought I’d see you in a children’s park running after a kid.” Remus comments, his eyes glistening with amusement.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Yeah well, it was that or have him continue to destroy my fucking flat.”

”That’s a no no word.” Leo snaps, staring Sirius down with a scowl.

“Sorry? Jeez.” Sirius mutters, pulling a childish face behind Leos back, “It’s a free country.”

Remus snorts, “You heard anything about visiting the prison yet?”

Sirius shakes his head, “I’ve been so busy trying to figure out childcare so I can head back to work that I haven’t even applied for it.”

”Have you at least called Reg?”

”No..”

”Sirius.” Remus says with a sigh, “You have is son, you’re going to have to make an effort,yeah? He’s probably going out of his mind with worry.”

”I will do.” Sirius smiles reassuringly, “You disappeared at the swimming baths yesterday. What was that about? You didn’t even say bye.”

”Teddy was kicking off, I just wanted to get out before he caused a scene, sorry.” Remus replies, his eyes flickering downwards as he blatantly lies to Sirius’ face. 

Sirius stares at Remus for a moment, trying to get a read of him. James had said Sirius wasn’t the only one still in love with his ex but he couldn’t possibly have meant that Remus was still in love with Sirius. Remus never said anything. He knows nothing will change regardless, but he still needs to know. He wants to know if Remus still feels the things Sirius does or not. He wants to know he isn’t fucking insane for still feeling the butterflies in his stomach and the nervous sweeping in his chest. It would be reassuring he thinks, knowing he wasn’t alone in how he felt.

Teddy tugs on Sirius’ black t-shirt to get his attention, Sirius looks down at him and smiles. Teddy really was one of the cutest children in the world with his freckled skin and messy sandy brown locks. Sirius knows he’s probably biased based on who his Dad is but Teddy really is adorable. He looks just like his Dad and it make Sirius’ heart clench whenever ge sees the two of them together. Teddy yanks Sirius’ top with more force, and lifts his hands up to sign:

Leo gone.

Sirius glances around, looks at the spot where Leo had just been standing to see the four year old has disappeared on him. He is immediately met with a wave of stress, as he starts searching aimlessly around the park. He checks the bushes, looks behind trees and feels panic beginning to seep in. As a child he didn’t much care about stranger danger, he thought anywhere was better than home but now as an adult, he feels as though there is nowhere safer for Leo than with him. Having Leo out of his sight, makes him nervous on a level he has never experienced before. Then he spots Leo’s scooter abandoned on the path and he feel his life flash before his eyes. He can hear his heart ringing in his ears as he looks around aimlessly, he can see Remus and Teddy looking around too and he’s so grateful he’s not alone because they can cover more ground together but he’s scared. He has no idea where Leo could have gone. It looks as though he just disappeared on the spot.

”Leo?!” He yells frantically, running towards the scooter, “Leo? Where are you?! Please kid, just come here! Leo?”

”Uncle Siri! Watch me!” Leo calls back, making Sirius snap his head towards the sound of his voice.

Leo is on the children’s bit of the park, they’re separated by a bright yellow fence and he’s standing on the top of slide and waving at Sirius. For a moment, Sirius is smacked with relief at seeing Leo is okay and then he is furious. He can’t believe Leo would just run off like that without telling him! He was besides himself with worry and he never wanted to feel anything like that ever again. It felt as if the incident had aged him a good few years. God, he really didn’t like kids. They were so much trouble and stress. 

“I can’t believe you willingly wanted this shit.” Sirius mutters to Remus as they both head to the gate, Teddy holding his Dads hand like the sweet angel he is.

Remus shrugs, “Everyone is different. I like the challenge.”

”You can have Leo if you want.” Sirius says just as seriously as his name, “He is a menace.”

”He didn’t run off though Sirius. In his head, he saw the slide and got excited. He didn’t go out of his way to piss you off.” 

Sirius tuts, “We laid down rules before we came out! He didn’t listen!”

”He’s four. He isn’t going to remember all your rules.” Remus says, forever the voice of reason.

It isn’t until they’re on the playground that Teddy let’s go off Remus’ hand and runs off to join Leo on the roundabout. Remus smiles as he watches him go, a strange feeling sizzles at Sirius’ chest as he watches the look on Remus’ face, he was made for this. There were no doubts in Sirius’ head that having a child is all Remus had ever wanted and needed to be happy. He shouldn’t feel the sting of jealousy that comes with that thought but he does. All Sirius ever wanted and needed to be happy was Remus but Remus wanted more. He wanted the one thing Sirius would never give him.

”Does Teddy ever insult you? Like absolutely rip into you?”

Remus frowns as he side eyes Sirius, “Not really no?”

”Leo is such a brat.” Sirius mutters , “He called me an ugly loser today. I couldn’t even argue because I was so shocked.”

Remus bursts out laughing, his eyes crinkle shut as he shakes his head. Sirius’ heart stills at the sound, his ears picking up as he listens to Remus laugh. It was one of his favourite things, the huskiness and the way he tilts his head back and his throat wobbles. Remus always looked absolutely divine when he laughed, the sound was music to Sirius’ ears and he hates when Remus tries to hold back. Remus hated his own laugh, always attempting to stifle it but Sirius adored it. 

“He isn’t wrong is he?” Remus asks eventually a teasing tone to his voice, “You are a loser.”

Sirius grins, his eyes lingering on Remus for a moment too long, “But not ugly?”

Remus’ face burns pink as he swallows and diverts his eyes to where the two boys are jumping up and down together, “Never ugly.” He whispers softly, making Sirius’ heart fall out of his ass.

Sirius keeps looking at Remus, he hated that they couldn’t be together. He missed everything about him, his laugh was up there and every time he heard it, he thought of their lives together before Remus dropped the baby bomb. Things had been so wonderful between them, they were so loved up and happy..why couldn’t that have been enough? Why couldn’t their small family of two have been enough? Why couldn’t they have compromised and got a fucking dog? He doesn’t wish Teddy wasn’t here, he actually likes Teddy a lot considering he’s a snotty three year old but he just wonders how different things could have been. He can’t help but wonder what if..what if..what if. 

He is forced to look away when a skinny woman with a pointed nose and thin lips comes marching over to them. Her face is murderous, her eyebrows sharp as she drags her chubby child by the arm and marches to them. She’s wearing a pleated skirt and a blouse, a chain of pearls around her long neck and Sirius can’t help but think how daft she looks. She looks so out of place at the park as her pointy heels tap against the concrete.

”I’m assuming that horrible little boy is yours?!” She demands, glaring at Sirius as she points in the general direction of Leo.

Leo is standing by the slide, his arms folded across his chest as he shoots daggers at the woman and her son. It takes Sirius a second to register that yes, Leo is with him actually. Then he realises the chubby boy is sobbing his heart out.

Sirius swallows as Remus pretends to act busy with his phone, “Erm what’s the problem?”

”That nasty little brat has hit my Dudders.” The woman hisses, pointing towards Leo to emphasise her point.

Sirius almost snorts, he hears Remus chuckle and quickly disguise it as a cough, before he walks away towards the two boys. Sirius grinds his teeth together, he can’t believe Remus just left him to deal with this alone. He’s never had to deal with an angry parent with their hurt child before.

”Sorry? He hit your son?” Sirius asks, realising the woman is waiting for a reaction, “Why?”

”Why?” The woman snaps irritably, “What do you mean why? That child is a violent, disobedient little bully and he should not be allowed on the park!”

Sirius blinks, raising his eyebrows at the woman, “He’s four. He’s not violent. He’s not a bully.” He purposefully leaves out the disobedient part, because yeah..they needed to work on that a bit.

“He lashed out at my son! Unprovoked!” She snaps, “You’re a terrible Father! Letting your awful little boy do whatever he wants!”

”Oh fuck off lady.” Sirius grumbles, rolling his eyes, “I’m sorry your son got hit, but you don’t get to march over here and spout your shit about a child you do not know.”

”You dare to swear in front of little ears?” The woman looks shocked, “Wait until my husband hears about this! He will be utterly disgusted that men like you are allowed to parent. That child has no hope!”

Sirius runs his tongue on the inside of his cheek as he tries to keep his cool. If she had approached and been polite about it instead of shitting over his nephews character and Regulus’ parenting skills, he would’ve handled it differently but the woman was being nasty. He’s about to open his mouth, when Remus swiftly returns and stands between them.

”Your son lashed out first.” Remus informs her, “Maybe you should get the full story before pointing your fingers at other people’s children.”

She doesn’t say anything else, she just takes her son by the wrist and storms out of the park with a huff. The boy screaming and wailing behind her, demanding to stay at the park to play. Sirius almost feels bad for the little boy, but then he remembers what Remus said.

”He lashed out first?”

”At Teddy.” Remus whispers, his voice small, “Leo said the boy told Teddy to move but obviously Teddy didn’t hear him so he pushed him and Leo stepped in, pushed the little bastard back.”

”Should I be proud at that?” Sirius asks after a moment, a small smile creeping across his face, “Because I feel proud..”

Remus laughs and shakes his head, “Probably shouldn’t encourage it but um..I just..that’s the first time anyone has stuck up for Teddy.”

Sirius smiles, glancing over to see Leo attempting to push Teddy on the swing. The two boys are laughing loudly, as Leo struggles to push it.

”Think we should give them a hand?” Sirius asks, snorting when Leo falls over.

“Suppose we should put them both out of their misery.” Remus agrees.

Sirius never thought he’d be standing in a kids park, eleven am on a Monday morning with Remus Lupin and two children on the swings. Nothing could have ever prepared him for this exact moment but something about it just feels natural. He’s pushing Leo, the four year old demanding to be pushed higher and higher. Standing besides him, Remus is pushing his own son and it just feels normal. It almost feels like a family. Maybe this was a snippet of what Sirius was missing out on. If he had agreed to have children with Remus, maybe this is what his days would have looked like and he finds that he doesn’t completely hate it for once.

Teddy ruins that train of thought though when he falls off the swing and bursts into loud whiney tears. That was one of the things that had put Sirius off all those years ago, the crying. It was one of the absolute worse noises in the world and that along with sleepless nights just never appealed to him. He liked his peace and he liked his sleep, he was never going to give it up.

”Hey Pads?” Remus asks gently, “Can you just grab my bag off the bench?”

Remus is kneeling in front of Teddy, the three year olds hand is grazed and his knees are slightly red. Sirius hands Remus the bag, it’s a small khaki green rucksack and Sirius has no idea what could possibly be inside. Most men just carried their phone, keys and wallets in their pockets. He watches as Remus ruffles through his bag, taking out a first aid kit and a  blue water bottle. He hands the water to Teddy who begins to sip on it, whilst Remus unzips the first aid kit and cleans the graze on his hand with an antiseptic wipe.

”What the hell is in that?”

”Teddy’s stuff.”

Sirius furrows his eyebrows together, “I can see that..but like what do you..”

”Oh well I usually carry his water bottle, some snacks, change of clothes incase has an accident, the first aid kit and his hearing aid batteries.” Remus lists off, nodding to himself as he speaks.

”Should I have one of those for Leo?”

Remus presses his lips together and shrugs, “It’s optional I suppose. I just like being prepared.”

”Uncle Siri?” Leo says, tugging on Sirius’ t-shirt, “I hungry.”

Remus laughs and rummages in the bag again, taking out two small boxes of yogurt covered strawberry bites and giving one to each child, “For moments like that.”

”Genius.” Sirius says, his mind a little blown, “You’re a wizard Moony.”

Remus laughs again, “Maybe I am.”

”I should probably have one to carry his epipen with me..” Sirius realises slowly, his whole body tensing, “I fucking forgot it.”

”Yeah…you should get yourself one of these. I’d never remember Teddy’s batteries if it weren’t for this bag. I can just grab and go, knowing I have everything I need inside.”

Sirius nods and smiles as Remus zips the bag up, “You’re a really good Dad, Moons. I don’t think I’ve ever actually told you that before but.. you’re great. Teddy is really lucky to have you.”

Remus just smiles, “You’re a pretty good Uncle too.”

And Sirius has no idea why that makes him feel so good about himself.

Chapter Text

Sirius felt as though he was fighting for his survival. He had never been so physically and mentally drained in all his life, he was only thirty-two and he felt like he had lived his entire lifetime already. He was just waiting to combust. Leo was incredibly needy, he woke up like clockwork just before 6am and Sirius had to force himself out of bed to feed, dress and supervise him. He had to help the tot brush his teeth twice a day, go to the toilet to ensure he wiped properly and bathe him every other night. It was so fucking hard. He could hardly look after himself, let alone a dependent child. He didn’t understand how James had done this for almost six years, he knows having Lily and being a team would have helped a bit but he can’t see it making that much difference if Harry was ever as naughty as Leo. He had a new found respect for parents that he had never had before, they might become parents willingly but no one would expect it to be this hard. Some days he felt like screaming and crying himself, other days it felt like he was barely there because he was living off such little sleep.

It was like the four year old knew Sirius was knackered, he was pushing all of Sirius’ buttons and winding him up. Sirius couldn’t return to work yet and took all of his remaining sick days, he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Leo with someone he couldn’t trust. His own governesses and nannies had often been a nightmare, strict and unkind and he really didn’t want Leo to ever feel as inadequate as himself and Regulus did growing up. He had interviewed and spoken to fifteen different childcare providers so far and not a single one of them met his standards or ticked all of his boxes.

One of Leo’s favourite things to do, despite constantly being told no, was jumping on the white sofa. Sirius had caught him in the act countless times, all he had to do was raise a stern eyebrow and the four year old would jump off again and smile innocently at Sirius. It never stopped him from doing it permanently though. Any time Sirius’ back was turned, he would be right back to it, jumping as high as he could. Sirius contemplated getting him a small trampoline, just to end the madness of his very expensive luxurious couch being wrecked. Both James and Remus had told him it was pointless, apparently all children enjoyed jumping on beds and sofas regardless of if they had a trampoline or not.

Sirius had purchased himself a snazzy Dad bag though, a small black rucksack that he had added band pins on to make it look a little cooler. He took a page out of Remus’ book and added everything he could possibly need for Leo and their days out. He felt better having everything in one place, knowing exactly where Leo’s epipen was made him feel more relaxed. On the day he purchased and packed the bag, he realised he had no idea how to use an epipen and spent two hours on YouTube watching how to do it- just incase. He also learnt that even the smallest traces of nuts could be harmful and that it wasn’t just nutty foods that could trigger a reaction but other products too like hand creams.

Thursday was quite possibly the hardest Leo day Sirius had experienced so far. Not only was the child jumping on the sofa and scooting around the flat again, he was doing it all naked. He decided he really didn’t want to get dressed that day and managed to slip Sirius’ grasp and dodge him quickly whenever his poor Uncle tried to grab hold of him. Sirius would have let it go, if the four year old didn’t decide to piss in the middle of his floor like an untrained dog. The frustrating part was, Leo knew how to use the toilet and he looked Sirius dead in the eye as he weed, a satisfied evil grin on his face. He had looked identical to Regulus in that moment.

Sirius had managed to speak to Regulus on Tuesday, the day after the park incident. Despite the offer, Leo had refused to talk to Regulus over the phone. It was like the child didn’t trust that it was really his Daddy and he had slammed off into his room, screaming in a fit of rage. Regulus had told Sirius it was fine but he could hear the devastation in his little brothers voice. It wasn’t enough to convince Regulus to let Leo visit him in prison though. Regulus was still adamant that Sirius came alone, insisting it was no place for a four year old.

The rest of Thursday dragged slowly. Sirius was gradually losing all sanity as Leo continued to push boundaries and lash out. Remus, James and even Lily had explained that the four year old was still adjusting, still mad and confused by his Daddy disappearing and Sirius promised to do his best. He wasn’t going to shout at Leo or discipline him the way his own parents used to. He just needed to figure a way to help Leo channel all of his built up energy and newfound aggression. 

“I’m not hungry.” Leo scowled, his eyebrows drawn together in anger as Sirius placed his lunch on the coffee table.

”I’ll just leave it here so when you are you can have it.” Sirius explains gently, placing the cold tomato pasta down.

Leo glares at his Uncle, his little fists curled by his side, “I said NO!”

”I’m not forcing you to eat it kid.” Sirius yawns as he falls back into the sofa and sighs contently, “It’s just there incase you change your mind.”

Leo picks the ceramic bowl up and growls, next thing Sirius’ white tshirt and white sofa are covered in red tomato pasta. Sirius jumps to his feet, his face turned up in disgust as the sauce drips down his arm and onto his socked feet. Leo then bursts into tears and stomps his feet in frustration and begins throwing his toys around the living room as he sobs and screams.

”Leo! Will you stop that?” Sirius begs, his voice breaking with tiredness. He was so fed up, “Please.”

”You’re not my Daddy!” Leo yells, his little hands lashing out to hit Sirius in the legs, “I hate it here! I want my Daddy!”

Sirius gently takes hold of Leo’s wrists as he kneels down before him, so they’re eye to eye. Leo is crying so hard that snot is bubbling at his nose and he’s turning so red, getting himself so worked up and Sirius isn’t sure what the next step is. He just knows he needs Leo to calm down.

”We don’t hit, Leo. Okay?” Sirius says sternly but doesn’t raise his voice, never raises his voice, “I know you’re feeling pretty cross right now, yeah? But we never hurt others.”

Leo sniffles, his grey eyes filling with fresh tears as his bottom lip wobbles a little, “I sorry Uncle Siri.”

”Why don’t you have some quiet time?” Sirius suggests, remembering a particularly nasty tantrum Harry had once that Lily swerved with quite time.

Leo nods, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, “I’m sorry for being bad.”

”You're not bad Leo. You’re just..” Sirius shrugs, not really sure where he was going with that sentence, “You’re not bad.”

Leo hangs his head as he shuffles into his room, closing the door behind him. Sirius takes a moment to recompose himself, stripping his white top off and shoving it into the never ending wash basket. It was crazy how much washing accumulated now their was a tiny person around. He washes his hands and his sauce stained arm in the sink, knowing he can’t risk showering with Leo still awake. Then he sets to work, cleaning up the pieces of pasta and attempting to scrub the orange stains off the white sofa- it doesn’t work. His sofa is just as ruined as his rug, he’d have to get a professional out to clean it when Leo was gone. There was no point having it cleaned when the little monster would just wreck it again.

He manages to clear away several of Leos toys, reorganising and straightening up the living area a little. He feels better for it, the space free of all of Leo’s clutter and shit. Then he realises that Leo has been far too quiet for far too long. He feels like Spider-Man when he gets a tingly spider-sense, he can just tell that something is wrong. He strides towards Leo’s bedroom, his hand on the doorknob ready to walk in but he freezes outside when he hears Leos quiet cries and gentle voice.

”I know you watch from heaven Mummy and I sorry I bad.” Leo whispers quietly, “I try my best to be good but I just so so grumpy. Grumpy like Uncle Ev! He always in grumpy mood!” Leo enunciates dramatically and then sighs, “Daddy is in jail ands I think I never see him again like I never see you again. I forgetting what Daddy looks like..he has black hair like Leo and grey eyes like Leo but I not remember..I not remember you Mummy..I sorry.” Leos voice cracks a little bit as he sniffles again, “I try remember but I not know. I just bad.”

Sirius feels wet on his cheeks, his mouth is dry and it takes him a second to realise he’s crying. He quickly wipes his tears away, unable to listen to the four year old child tear himself apart over things that were not his fault. He wonders if he ever felt like that at four, he must have done because his parents were despicable and cruel. They were always belittling him and Regulus, making them feel small and unworthy.. but Leo, he felt like this because his Mum was dead and his Dad was locked away.

He opens the door, stepping into the bedroom Leo was staying in. The four year old curled up on the bed, his bunny held tightly as he cried. His eyes were staring up, out of the window towards the clouds and Sirius felt like he could cry again. No child deserved to go through this. No child deserved to feel this amount of pain. 

“Hey kid.” Sirius whispers as he tentatively sits on the edge of Leos bed.

He takes a moment to look around the bedroom, it really was boring especially for a four year old. Just like the rest of the house, the walls were white and bare, the wardrobe was mirrored and the blinds were blackout- purposefully put in to help James with his horrific hangovers. The treadmill was still in the corner, wedged between the wall and the wardrobe and the toys not in the living-room are tactically stacked along the empty wall. It definitely didn’t feel like a child’s bedroom and Sirius wondered how Leo slept at night.

Regulus had told him he was terrified of the dark, Sirius always left the bedside table lamp on for him but it wasn’t a cosy fun place to sleep like Harry’s bedroom, even if it was temporary. The sudden guilt knocks him sick, he could’ve done better. He should have taken up Remus’ offer of more childlike bedding.

”You feeling hungry now?” Sirius asks Leo, once the crying subsides.

Leo shakes his head.

”Do you want to talk about-“

”No.” Leo mumbles, turning away from Sirius with a huff, “I just want my Daddy.”

This is worse than the tantrums, Sirius decides. Leo being quite is far worse than him screaming and lashing out. Sirius really doesn’t like how quiet Leo is being. He’s awake, Sirius doesn’t leave the bedroom, his eyes glued to his back hopelessly as Leo fiddles with his rabbits ear. Maybe he just needed five minutes, Sirius had suggested quiet time but now he wishes he’d suggested anything but. Leo hasn’t been this quite since the day he arrived and it’s breaking Sirius’ cold heart completely. 

By dinner time, Leo was still not speaking much, he chose to sit and colour. He watched his cartoons but Sirius could tell it was a ticking time bomb. He had a feeling Leo’s emotions and frustrations were building up and he prepared himself for the lashing out. He knew it was coming. During dinner, Leo sat quietly and ate, he took his time and still didn’t eat as much as Sirius hoped. He changed into his pyjamas without a fuss and climbed into his bed whilst Sirius did the dishes and cleaned the house. Leo was due to go to James’ house in the morning so Sirius could visit Regulus but he felt oddly nervous about leaving the four year old behind. He trusted James with his entire life, he trusted James with Leo but being separated from his nephew made him feel sick. He wasn’t sure why. He knew Leo would be absolutely fine. 

After his shower he pads through to the living-room to watch some TV, he decides to check on Leo because he was acting off all day and Sirius couldn’t bare it. Usually once Leo was asleep, Sirius just got on with his own thing and took some time to be Sirius again but he couldn’t let it go. His heart stopped and time froze when he opened the door and found Leos bed empty. He rushed over pulling the duvet back to double check but Leo definitely wasn’t there. He opened the wardrobes and when they were just as bare, panic began to creep in. There’s no way he could’ve left the flat, the front door was locked and Leo couldn’t reach the chain. He had to be around somewhere.

”Leo?” Sirius calls, keeping his voice steady and clear, “Kid? Where are you?”

He crouches down on the floor to check under the bed but Leo isn’t there either. He hated how quiet he was, there was always some sort of banging or noise whenever Leo was about but he couldn’t hear anything even when he strained his ears and held his breath. He couldn’t hear shit.

”Leo? You’re not in trouble mate.” Sirius says when he starts wondering around the rest of the flat, his heart in his throat, “Just come out yeah?”

Sirius checks his own bedroom, the kitchen and the living-room too.  He even checks the bathroom, despite the fact he had just used it and knew the child wasn’t there. He triple checks the front door, it’s definitely still locked and he can’t think. Leo was only small, and clearly a fantastic hider but Sirius had no idea where he could have gone. He grabs his phone to ring James, his heart racing as he imagines Leo somehow escaping into the street and then he notices the balcony doors are open.

He jumps over the sofa, his bare feet smacking against the floor as he races over. The balcony wasn’t safe, it hasn’t been safe for years but Sirius never used it. He never fixed the stupid doors and he hates himself for it. He reaches the doors, Leo is leaning against the unsteady black frame of the balcony as he stares up at the stars. Sirius swallows nervously not wanting to startle him but noticing the way the loose fence is straining under Leo’s weight.

”Leo?” Sirius whispers, “Why are you out here?”

Leo doesn’t turn to look at Sirius, instead he lifts his hand to point at the stars, “Dog star.”

Sirius holds his breath as the fence creaks, “Very good. Why don’t you come inside? It’s cold and dark..”

”Okay.” Leo complies, leaning away from the fence.

Sirius reaches out his hand quickly, taking hold of Leos tiny one and gently pulls him away from the unstable fence. He knew he should have fixed the doors. He knew he should have fixed the fence but he was never home! There was never any reason to. When they’re safely indoors, Sirius forces the doors shut but it pops back open. He looks around for something to block the door with but there isn’t anything.

”I not tired.” Leo mumbles.

Sirius sighs, because he bloody was and Leo was rubbing his eyes and definitely trying to fight sleep. There was no way he wasn’t tired after the stressful week they had both experienced.

”How about I read something to you?” Sirius suggests hesitating a bit- he really didn’t like to read, let alone to children.“I could..I could tell you stories about your Daddy and I when we were children if you’d like?”

It was the wrong thing to say. Leo’s face immediately screwed up as he burst into tears, wailing loudly at the mention of his Dad. Sirius got it, he did but his neighbours really wouldn’t appreciate hearing a sobbing four year old at this time of night. Leo was quickly getting worked up again, he was overtired and over emotional and would not calm down. 

There was a banging on the wall from the neighbour as he yelled, “Stop that racket!” And Sirius wanted the ground to swallow him up. He didn’t know his neighbours very well but he had never had any issues with them or run ins and now he was getting unwanted neighbourly attention because of bawling toddler.

”Leo please.” Sirius begs, “We’re both exhausted.”

”I NOT TIRED!” Leo yells, his face turning red with anger.

”LEO!” Sirius yells back, quickly stepping back and faltering in shock. Leo’s little face goes pale as he stares up at his Uncle Sirius with a terrified expression on his face. It looks the same as when he was left on his stranger of an Uncle’s doorstep and it made him want to cry. They had made progress and Sirius might have just erased it all but losing his cool.“Leo, I’m so so sorry.”

”I HATE YOU!” Leo screams, running away from Sirius as fast as he can.

He slams his bedroom door and Sirius doesn’t follow. He doesn’t think he can follow.Sirius feels his heart crack into pieces, he vowed to never raise his voice at the child and he had. He felt sick, the fearful look on Leo’s face replaying in his mind. It wasn’t an excuse but he was so exhausted and he felt as though he was slowly losing his mind. He never wanted to be one of the thing Leo or any child was afraid of, but he had just shouted at his nephew.

marauders groupchat:

pads: I knew this would happen. I’m just like my parents. This is why I never wanted kids. He’s afraid of me.

prongs: what happened???

pads: I lost my temper and yelled at him. I can hear him crying in his room and I know if I go in he will scream at me. I’ve fucked this entire thing up. I bloody knew I’d be fucking shit at this and now I have a terrified four year old in my care and it’s all my fault 

moony: I’ll be at yours in about 25 mins I’ll help with Leo

Remus knew Sirius was exaggerating. He knew Sirius like the back of his hand and he was nothing like his shitty abusive parents. All parents got overwhelmed with their children sometimes, every parent snapped once in awhile and it was fine. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. He knew Sirius was spiralling, taking the incident to heart because of his own childhood and Remus just couldn’t sit around and let that happen. 

What Sirius didn’t know that Leo lashing out and screaming at Sirius meant he felt safe enough with his Uncle to express himself and show his feelings. Sirius thought he was doing something wrong, felt like he wasn’t coping but Remus knew Leo trusted Sirius and he was on a mission to make Sirius understand that.

Sirius looks like utter shit when he answers the door to let Remus in. He looks so tired and so stressed out. Remus doesn’t think he’s ever seen Sirius looking so rough, even recovering from his three day benders when they were younger Sirius still looked like a model, but six days with a child and Sirius looked like death warmed up. 

“Is he still awake?” Remus asks him, looking towards the closed door.

Sirius nods, stifling a yawn. Remus walks towards Leo’s room but Sirius gently takes hold of his arm, “I really didn’t mean to yell at him. I didn’t mean to scare him-“

”You’re fine Sirius, okay? Let me just see Leo and then I’ll come and talk to you.” Remus says softly, no judgment in his tone or his gaze, “I promise you’re nothing like your parents.”

Leo is his holding his toy bunny, his crying has stopped but the evidence remains on his tear stained cheeks. He doesn’t look up when Remus enters, gently closing the door behind him and sitting on the edge of the bed. Leo looks more exhausted that Sirius does, he’s forcing his eyes open ensuring he doesn’t nod off. He’s desperately trying to fight his sleep, perhaps worried about missing something or scared of something. Remus knows how to talk to children, he’s been working with children since he left school and he has become an expert with his own son. He knows he can get little Leo to talk, even if he is a little bit stubborn. Sometimes adults are guilty at forgetting that children are human too. They just have a bit more difficulty at explaining how they’re feeling and telling people what is happening inside their minds.

”Hey Leo.”

Leo startles slightly, his eyes lifting up to stare at Remus, “You’re not Uncle Siri.”

Remus shakes his head, “No, I’m Teddy’s Daddy.”

Leo rolls his eyes in the same way Sirius does and Remus has to suppress his laughter when Leo fixes him with a look that says ‘are you dumb?’. Leo knew who Remus was of course, he had seen him every time he had seen Teddy.

“Is Teddy here?!” Leo asks a little excitable, his shoulders relaxing and the tension evaporating.

”Not tonight. He’s sleeping at his Mummy’s house.” Remus explains softly, watching the flicker off hurt that passes the four year olds face, “You will see him on Saturday though for Harry’s birthday party.”

”Harry’s birf-day?”

”Did Uncle Siri not tell you?”

Leo shakes his head, “I nots going I think I too bad to go.”

”You’re not bad Leo.” Remus says softly, “Who told you that you’re bad?”

”Auntie Lucia.” Leo whispers, “She says I am bad and mean.”

”Oh sweetheart.” Remus murmurs, moving closer to wrap an arm around Leo.

The four year old stiffens slightly at the affection before resting his head against Remus’ chest, his bunny held firmly in his arms. Remus starts brushing the child’s black curls with his fingers, humming softly whilst he thinks for a moment.

”She was wrong to say that.” Remus continues his voice low and gentle, “You’re not bad, you’re very good and kind. You’re the bravest little boy I’ve ever met.”

”Really?”

”Really.” Remus confirms, “You’ve been through lots and lots, haven’t you? I bet it’s very difficult missing your Daddy every single day.”

”Yeah.” Leo nods against Remus’ chest, “I want my Daddy to come backs home.”

Remus pulls Leo closer, letting him get comfy on his knee as he holds him. Leo nestles against Remus automatically, it has been so long since someone held him and he feels safe with Teddy’s Daddy. 

“And I bet it’s very strange living with Sirius isn’t it? In this new bedroom and new flat?” Remus asks, Leo nods, “Lots of things are changing aren’t they?”

”Yeah.” Leo whispers, his voice heavy from getting sleepy, “I nots like it. I wants Daddy and my old room and my kitty.”

”You have a cat?” Remus asks.

”Black kitty.”

”What his name?”

”Nox.” Leo frowns, “I not know where he is.”

Remus knows absolutely nothing about cats so he lies in an attempt to soothe Leo, “Cats are very good at looking after themselves.”

Leo shrugs,stifling a little yawn, “I miss him lots but I miss Daddy the mostest.”

“Your Daddy misses you a lot too. He is doing everything he can to come home to you.”

”Teddy’s Daddy?” Leo says, sitting up to look at Remus’ face.

”Yeah?”

”Do you thinks my Mummy trying to come home too?”

The question surprises Remus and despite his best effort he can’t stop the way his heart crumbles painfully in his chest. He had lost his own Mum as a teenager, he was old enough to understand she wasn’t coming back but it still hurt and he still wished on every star to bring her home. He can only imagine how confusing it is for Leo. He knows Leos Mum died of cancer, he knows his memories of his Mum are hazy and mostly from when she was dying. He was too young to remember her when she was healthy. Leo’s grey eyes are staring at him curiously as he waits for an answer, he’s looking at Remus as if he knew it all.

”Unfortunately sweetheart, when people become angels they can’t come back.” Remus says as gently as he can, he knows he’s breaking the child’s heart with his words but there were some things you tell the truth about, “She is watching over you all the time, guiding you through things and even though you can’t see her, the ones who love us never truly leave us.”

”Daddy says the same thing…do you thinks shes here right now?” Leo asks, his eyebrows furrowed together.

”She could be.”

Leo shakes his head, “I thinks she’s with Daddy. He need her more than me. I gots Uncle Siri but Daddy is all by his own.”

”What do you think of Uncle Siri?”

Leo grins and bounces a little on the spot, “He’s the bestest!”

”Yeah?”

”Yeah!” Leo squeals excitedly, “He take me to park and swim and um he not let me jump on the sofa but he never tell me off! He just look at me and pull funny face like this!” Leo pauses to do an impression of Sirius before continuing with his delighted ramble. “He buyed me a scooter and it the same as one Daddy got me and he let me has this room all on myself! And he let me chose my own clothes ands my own snack!”

Remus smiles as he watches the child talk about Sirius like the man had put every star in the sky above. He’s aware that he used to sing Sirius’ praises in the same way, Sirius could do no wrong in his eyes just like Sirius could do no wrong in Leo’s.

“Is there anything you wish Sirius would do different?”

Leo pauses for a moment, thrown off by the question and then hesitates. Remus nods his head, giving the child the encouragement to keep going.

Leo takes a deep breath, his eyes moving to the bunny in his arms as he says, “I wish he would huggle me sometimes. Daddy used to do it every day..”

Remus wraps his arms around Leo, holding him close and wishing he could just protect him from the world outside. The world was a scary place, especially as a parent. Sometimes you’re left wondering why you ever had children in the first place. There’s so much hatred, so much unjustified cruelty and it hurts knowing one day you won’t be able to protect the smaller generation. You can only hope that their voices are loud enough to create the positive changes needed. You can only pray that somehow evil with cease to exist.

The bedroom door opens and Sirius stands there looking devastated, Remus can tell he has been listening in on everything. He has a mug in his hand with steaming hot milk and he sets it down on the bedside table, lingering in front of Leo for a moment before sitting down besides Remus. Sirius’ eyes don’t wander from the child as he holds out his arms uncertainly.

”I’m sorry kid.” Sirius says gently, “I don’t think my hugs are as good as Moony’s but-“

Leo dives out of Remus’ arms and jumps right into Sirius’ ones, knocking the wind right out of him. Sirius laughs as he wraps his strong arms around Leo, holding him tightly as he rocks him back and fourth. He presses his lips against Leo’s forehead, closing his eyes to hold the tears back as Leos little arms wrap around Sirius’ neck.

”I sorry Uncle Siri.” Leo whispers.

Sirius shakes his head, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for Leo. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

”Is okay Uncle Siri.” Leo yawns, sitting on Sirius’ lap and burying his head into Sirius’ side. 

He finally, finally drifts off to sleep, clutching tightly onto Sirius’ t-shirt and his bunny.

Chapter Text

Sirius and Remus manage to tiptoe silently out of Leos room, the exhausted child is snoring lightly with his bunny close by. Sirius is convinced they’re actually attached because even in the bath, the bunny teddy is right there on the edge of the sink waiting for him. Sirius had learnt a lot from overhearing Leo and Remus talking, he knew he was going wrong in places but he has also heard Leo’s praises. He heard how excited he got when asked about him, he heard the way Leo burst when listing all the things Sirius somehow did right. He never thought something as little as the snack drawer would matter but Leo thought choosing his own snack was top tier.

He was so unbelievably grateful to Remus too. His child free night and he had come straight round to Sirius’ place to help with a different child. Sirius knows James would have come too if he didn’t have Harry and he can’t believe how lucky he is to have such great friends. Remus is nosing around Sirius’ flat, it’s only the second time Remus had ever been round- the first time was the day Leo arrived as he had tagged along with James. This flat is very different to the one they had shared together, it’s more modern and spacious- doesn’t have random shit anywhere, looks more like a show room than a home apart from Leo’s toys it looks untouched. It appears like no one even lives there, there’s nothing that makes it seem like Sirius’ home at all.

“Moony?” Sirius whispers, his voice small as he watches Remus look around.

“Hmm?”

“I’m really fucking all this up aren’t I?”

Remus pauses for a moment, then turns to look at Sirius with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Sirius was so afraid of getting this wrong, Leo was relying on him to get it all right and he was so clueless it was really stressing him out. He looks over Remus’ shoulder at the broken doors and groans, he really needed to fix them as a top priority, the last thing he wanted was Leo falling to his death.

“No.” Remus whispers, snatching Sirius’ attention back, “You’re doing the best you can in an awful situation. No one expects you to know everything and get it all right.”

“Thanks” Sirius breathes, a smile spreading across his face. It felt good, knowing people recognised that he really was trying. “Do you want a cuppa?”

”No thanks.” Remus says, looking at the bare white walls. There really wasn’t anything that gave the place character.

”Do you think..sorry but do you think Leo actually hates me?” Sirius asks shyly, “I just..I never thought the poor kid would want to hug me. He doesn’t even know me that much and yet..it seems like all he needed was a hug.”

”He definitely doesn’t hate you.” Remus mumbles looking away again, “I think..you’re right he just really needed a hug.”

”See! I’m shit. It’s so pissing obvious that a four year old needs hugs and I just never..” Sirius tuts, running his hand through his black hair, “I have no idea what I’m doing! This is exactly what I was afraid of.. I’m going to fuck that kids head up.”

“Well actually..” Remus turns to look at Sirius, his eyebrow raised slightly. “I’m kinda mad at you for being so good at it.”

“What?”

“You’re great with him, Pads.” Remus whispers, stepping closer, “Really fucking good with him and I hate you for it.”

“Hate me?”

Remus presses his lips together and nods once, his eyes meeting Sirius’ as he sighs deeply.“You said you didn’t want kids. That you’d be awful with them but you’re not.”

“Still don’t want them though.” Sirius mutters, “Still hate the bloody things.”

”No you don’t.”

“Of course I do! They do nothing but whinge and scream and make mess.” Sirius pouts, “They’re awful Moony.”

Remus raises his eyebrow challengingly,“So.. you don’t want to make one with me?”

“W-what?” Sirius stammers, his cheeks burning bright red as Remus takes another step towards him.

“Leo’s sleeping. Teddy’s at his mums and frankly Sirius, I’ve missed you a lot.”

“Remus-“

“I know, okay? I know we can’t be anything but please, can I just..for one night can we just.. pretend?” Remus asks, taking another step forward, “I miss you. I need you. I want you.”

“Fuck me.”

Remus smirks flirtatiously making Sirius’ stomach swoop,“That’s the idea,yeah.”

“No strings?”Sirius asks breathlessly, suddenly feeling very awake.

“No strings.” Remus confirms, placing his large hands on Sirius’ hips and pulling him towards his chest, “Just one night.”

It felt like coming home, that’s the only way Sirius could describe the first kiss. Remus’ lips against his own, the air being stolen from his lungs as they fell in sync. It was gentle, soft, painful almost but everything Sirius had dreamt about for years. Sirius had heard about soulmates, he saw them in James and Lily Potter but he wasn’t sure about himself. If he and Remus were soulmates, then surely they would be together? Surely they would have figured their shit out but they hadn’t. It didn’t change how much Sirius felt for Remus though and as they kissed, every feeling he suppressed and forced away resurfaced as he moaned his exes name.

Sirius shoves Remus against one of the walls, kissing him with more vigour and need. He had never needed any man as much as he needed Remus right now. Remus chuckles softly and Sirius knows he’s screwed, Remus was always the one in charge- not him and when Remus flips them. Sirius is gone. He’s a weak weak man, and the way Remus stares down at him with that lustful blown out look in his eyes has his knees weak. He’d do anything Remus asked him to. He always would.

None of the other men Sirius had slept with over the years made him feel as much as Remus did. Every single one of his nerves were on fire, his stomach was contracting with anticipation and need and everything was rushing south, his dick hardening in his pants from Remus’ soft lips on his neck. He whines pathetically from the back of his throat as Remus starts kissing and biting his sensitive spot near his collarbone. Remus slowly takes Sirius apart, piece by piece and bit by bit, whereas the other guys would have already had their pants off. Sirius knows this is about to be the best shag of his entire life and he can’t help the way his body is reacting.

”R-Remus.” Sirius stutters, his head resting against the wall.

Remus’ large hand covers Sirius’ cock and squeezes a little, feeling it get harder as Sirius gasps and shudders. Remus knows he can make Sirius cum more than once, they used to go at it for hours and hours and if he only gets one night with his ex, he was going to make it the most memorable night. He pulls down Sirius’ joggers and wraps his hand around his prick, Sirius is a stammering breathless mess as Remus falls to his knees. He slowly licks the underside of Sirius’ aching cock, before tasting the salty precome at the tip and wrapping his lips around it. He gradually takes more and more of Sirius down his throat sucking and twisting the base with his hand, relishing the way Sirius’ hands grip his hair.

”Remus. I’m not-“ Sirius gasps, “Ah, fuck Moons.”

Remus pulls away, a string of saliva connect the tip of his exes hard dick to his mouth. Sirius stares down at him, Remus looks fucking beautiful like that and he almost cums from the sight alone. Remus takes Sirius in his mouth in one smooth motion, the head of dick hitting the back of Remus’ throat making him gag but Remus keeps going, sucking him off whilst fondling his heavy balls. A finger slides between his crack, rubbing over his puckered hole and Sirius tries to warn Remus but he shoots his load down Remus’ throat. Remus keeps sucking through his orgasm, swallowing every drop of Sirius’ salty warm cum.

”Shit.” Sirius breathes out heavily.

”We’re not done yet.” Remus tells him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “To your bed.”

Sirius drags Remus to his room by his hand, shutting the door behind him and pushing Remus onto the bed. He lost his pants somewhere during the walk but he will deal with that later. Right now, he just needs to kiss Remus. He just wants to feel his lips on his own and yes admittedly he can’t wait to be fucked into the mattress like a desperate little slut too but he’s always been like that with Remus. He never thought he would get chance to be so thoroughly fucked out again. Other guys were fine but they weren’t Remus Lupin.

Remus rolls them over so Sirius is pinned beneath him, a smirk slapped across his pretty face as he once again takes charge. He kisses Sirius jaw, enjoying the sordid noises that slip past Sirius’ lips. They’re both trying so hard to be quiet but Sirius is losing his damn mind.

”You’re so pretty Sirius. So so pretty.” Remus murmurs before sucking his neck, leaving his mark like a teenager.

”Remus!” Sirius whinges, batting him away, “James will see that!”

Remus blushes, “Are you complaining? I thought you liked being marked up?”

”Yes.” Sirius nods, he did like that a lot actually but only when Remus was the one doing it. He would never have allowed Fabian or his one night stands to do the same.

“Sirius?”

”Yeah?”

”Are you sure about this?”

Sirius sits up a little on his arms, almost knocking heads with Remus, “Are you having second thoughts?”

Remus sighs, sitting on the bed besides Sirius and rubs his hands over his face, “Me and Dora finalised our divorce the other month, she has Teddy most of the time because of my hours. Sometimes I regret asking for the divorce to be honest, I find my place really fucking lonely now.”

Sirius sits up properly, attempting to hide his half hard knob with his arms, “You asked for the divorce?”

”I did.” Remus confirms, “Because it wasn’t fair on her. She is lovely, so so lovely and sweet but..I don’t love her.”

”She’s a bit young for you Moons.”

”She’s twenty-seven.”

Sirius shrugs, “Still. You’re ancient.”

”You’re older than me!” Remus huffs, “Anyway..do you..”

”Please don’t ask me.” Sirius interrupts, slightly irritated, “You already know where I stand on the topic of kids.”

Remus nods sadly, “It’s stupid but I always thought as we got older you would change your mind-“

”Remus.”

”Then you left.”

”Rem-“

”I would’ve given up on the Dad thing you know? If you had stayed, I would have just accepted it-“

“I never would have let you do that. You wanted it so so badly and I never wanted to be the reason you didn’t go after something you wanted.” Sirius sighs, “I loved you too much to let you settle for less and now look, you’ve got Teddy and he’s great.”

Remus nods, standing to his feet, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I can’t do this. I’m so sorry.”

”It’s okay.” Sirius whispers sincerely, “You’re allowed to change your mind.”

Remus looks at Sirius, he looks tormented as he stands there between the bed and the door. It’s like he isn’t sure what he wants to do, he doesn’t know whether to stay or leave. He wants Sirius so badly but he will always want more of Sirius, one night wasn’t going to take away the pain he felt or heal his broken heart. One night was going to leave him desperately praying for another night, more alone time with his ex and he needed to keep his sanity. He could walk away. He could leave right now. But he wants to stay.

He ignores the nagging voice in his head telling him to leave as he pushes Sirius back down on the bed. He could never have all of Sirius, but he could take this moment. He could have this night and somehow that would have to be enough. He was never going to move on from Sirius full, he would never stop loving him so he would make this night work and leave satisfied with a bunch of new memories to fantasise about at the very least.

The next few hours a blur of skin meeting skin, soft gasps and desperate moans, nails digging into flesh and teeth clashing kisses, heavy breathless pants and shaking legs. It’s a night neither of them would forget, they collapse in each others sweaty arms and cuddle in the aftermath. Sirius lays on Remus’ naked chest as Remus runs his fingers through Sirius’ black hair, both satisfied and blissed out, their limbs tangled together as they both attempt to memorise and take in every detail of the moment.

When Sirius wakes the next morning, he is alone and for the first time ever, he wishes the guy he slept with would have stayed. It feels colder without Remus laid besides him and he regrets letting him in his bed. It hurts his heart, knowing they’ll never be more than that. He had wanted it in the heat of the moment. He wanted it more than he had wanted anything in a long time but as he lays naked, his own cum dried on his stomach and his bedsheets..he wants to cry. He knows things have changed between him and Remus, but Remus had never been the type of man to leave in the middle of the night. Then again they had always been a couple, they weren’t together anymore, maybe this was normal but Sirius hates the way it makes him feel.

”UNCLE SIRI!” Leo screams suddenly, his tears heard in his wobbling voice, instantly snapping Sirius out of his depressing thoughts.

He quickly shoves clothes on and runs into the living-room to find Leo sobbing in the middle of the room.

”What’s up kid?” Sirius asks in alarm, as he approaches cautiously and checking him over for some kind of injury.

”I sorry!” Leo cries harder, pointing to the white sofa, “I so so sorry.”

Sirius gasps at the ruined couch, black nail polish has spilt all over it and he honestly could cry too. Leo somehow sobs harder and Sirius feels awfully guilty, it was just a sofa. It could be cleaned, although he wasn’t sure how he was going to savour it from all the stains and black polish.

”What were you doing with nail polish Leo?” Sirius frowns, “Where did you even find it?”

”B-baf-room.” Leo chokes on his sobs, “I-I just want to have nails like you Uncle S-Siri.”

Sirius smiles despite the mess, it was his own fault for leaving the nail polish where curious little hands could reach anyway. On closer inspection, he can see that Leo had already tried painting one of his nails. It was all around the actual nail, but he had the right idea.

”Why don’t you let me do it for you instead?” Sirius asks.

Leo looks up at Sirius in surprise, “Really? You not super duper cross at Leo?”

”How can I be cross at you? I shouldn’t have left it where you could reach it but next time, just ask and we can do them together, okay?”

”Okay!” Leo agrees, grinning excitedly.

Sirius picks up the bottle and bins it, luckily he had many different shades of nail polish and a tonne of black ones. He sets every colour out on the coffee table, letting Leo choose whatever he liked. Sirius was surprised he stuck to black, the child insisting he wanted to match with his Uncle. It warmed Sirius’ heart and he quickly forgot about his night with Remus, his attention and focus fully on Leo.

Leo is absolutely ecstatic with his nails once they’re finished, he keeps admiring them and grinning excitedly. He puts his hand next to Sirius’ so he can compare them, he notices all of Sirius’ tattoos properly for the first time and asks Sirius all about them. That then leads to Sirius drawing on Leo, giving him some hand tattoos of his very own. 

“Now all you need is a leather jacket and you’ll be just as cool as me.” Sirius winks as Leo rolls his eyes.

”You’re not cool Uncle Siri.” He says, humbling him.

”Hey Leo.” Sirius says, grabbing his phone off the side, “Put your hand on mine I’m gonna take a photo.”

Leo does as he’s told, laughing at the matching nails and tattoos. He was so happy to be like his Uncle Sirius.

”Needs a mocar-bike too!” Leo says nodding to himself, “Then I be just like Uncle Siri!”

Sirius shakes his head, “Hell no. Motorbikes aren’t cool or safe kid, if you ever get one of them I’ll slash the tires.”

”You said a no no word Uncle Siri.” Leo informs him sternly, before turning his attention to his toys instead.

Yesterday might have been one of the hardest days Sirius had experienced in his life because of Leo. But Friday was shaping up to be one of his favourite days with his nephew, they hadn’t even had breakfast yet but the fact Leo wanted to dress up as Sirius made him feel all warm and gooey inside. It felt special. It was a fantastic feeling knowing a little kid looked up to you like that. He wouldn’t actually want Leo growing up to be like him though, he wanted better and brighter things for the kid.

James actually laughed when Sirius dropped Leo off. Both of them were wearing jeans and white band tees, the nail polish and fake tattoos were the absolute highlight of James’ day and when Harry saw, of course he wanted the same.

”You’re corrupting the kids.” James jokes lightly after drawing a few random tattoos on Harry.

The two boys run into the garden to play on Harry’s trampoline whilst James and Sirius have a quick cup of tea. He was very fucking nervous about seeing Regulus again. He hadn’t seen him since before he was disowned for being gay, Regulus was away at the time but he never answered Sirius’ messages or anything afterwards. He knew he couldn’t back out, as mad as he was as his little brother and as much as he wishes he could ignore what was happening, he owed it to Leo to find out what the fuck was going on. 

He had his own questions too, he needed more information if he was going to continue looking after Leo until Evan and Barty arrived from LA. He had clocked onto Leo’s fussy eating so that was on the top of his list, he wanted to ensure Leo was eating enough and if there was specific foods he would eat, he needed to know them. 

“Who have you been shagging?” James asks suddenly, gaping at Sirius’ neck.

Sirius brings his hand up to cover the marks Remus left, he can feel his face burning bright red under his best friends judgemental gaze, “No one.”

”They absolutely destroyed you.” James comments in disbelief, “I can’t believe you’re still managing to get laid with a kid around.”

”Don’t be mad just because you’re not getting none.”

James smirks as he sips his cup of tea, “We’ve been trying for another baby if you must know.”

”How’s that going for you?” Sirius teases, knowing how needy Harry was at bedtime.

”Six weeks today.” James smiles.

”Oh fuck no way.” Sirius says, “Congratulations I guess.”

James snorts and rolls his eyes, “It’s just congratulations when people want kids Pads.”

“Yeah sorry, I meant yay congratulations.” Sirius mumbles, sounding more sarcastic than he intended.

”We’re not meant to be telling anyone yet but I’m so fucking excited.” James grins, “We’ve been trying since Harry turned three..I really thought it wasn’t going to happen to be honest.”

Sirius sips his own tea, unsure of what to say, “Harry’s birthday party tomorrow.. is um.. Remus taking Teddy or is Dora?”

James eyebrows draw together with suspicion as he turns to look his best friend in the eye, “Remus is one of my best friends..I don’t see why Dora would be bringing him when I barely know her? They might bring him together but considering they’re divorced I really fucking doubt it..”

”Okay.” Sirius nods, “Cool.”

“Holy shit!” James breathes when he manages to slowly put two and two together, “It was Moony! You and Moon-“

”Shut up.” Sirius hisses, glancing out of the window to ensure the kids weren’t listening in, “It didn’t mean anything so just..”

“Pads. Don’t lie to me.”

Sirius groans, “We can’t be together. We’re not getting back together. It was just one night, that’s it.”

”One night? The whole night? Multiple times?-“

“Prongs.” Sirius mutters, narrowing his eyes, “He fucking left in the middle of the night.”

James raises his brows in confusion, “What were you expecting? Another round first thing in the morning? Breakfast in bed? You’re not together anymore?”

”I know that.” Sirius hisses, “I just didn’t expect Remus to be the kind of guy to sneak away without saying bye.”

”I have a feeling that isn’t the issue.” James mumbles under his breath.

Sirius doesn’t argue. James is rarely wrong when it comes to Sirius’ own feelings about Remus, sometimes he thinks James knows him better than he knows himself. That’s why they always called themselves brothers, they were merged together. Everyone used to think they were dating during school, never one without the other. The first time Sirius and Remus were caught, the rumour was that Sirius cheated on James- that’s how close they were but it purely platonic. James only ever had eyes for Lily Evans, and Sirius only ever had eyes for Remus Lupin. 

The prison was just as awful as Sirius had imagined. He had never been inside one before, only ever seen them in movies but the heavy creaking doors and max security was setting his nerves on edge. He had to remove all his jewellery, his rings and couldn’t take his phone with him, which was a piss take because he wanted to show Regulus photos of Leo at swimming and at the park. He especially wanted to share the ones he had taken that morning of them twinning, just to see the look on Regulus’ face.

He could only imagine how awful it was for his brother to be locked in a place like this and not knowing what his son was up to. Sirius was already feeling nauseous at not being able to check in with James even though he knew James was more than capable. So four weeks, an entire month apart from Leo must be sending Regulus absolutely insane.

Sirius takes a seat near the exit, other visitors keeping their heads down as Sirius looks around. He’s so fascinated by all the grey and blue, all the officers dotted around the place- most likely judging him for wearing a topknot and black nail polish. There’s a vending machine, which is tempting but in this day and age he only ever carries his phone and relies heavily on Apple Pay for everything. He goes to twist his rings around his fingers, something he does whenever he’s anxious or nervous but of course they had taken them off him so he can’t. Then there’s a loud buzz, the creak of the heavy door and the prisoners start filtering through.

He bites his lip as he looks at every man that comes through, he strains his neck as he tries to spot his little brother amongst them. He almost doesn’t recognise him, if it weren’t for the soft black curls- he never would’ve looked twice. His heart sinks horribly at the sight of Regulus, bile rising in his throat as he takes in his brothers beaten appearance. 

Regulus is covered in bruises. Both of his eyes are black, one of them is swollen shut and he has a fresh cut across his lip. He can’t see the rest of his body, but he just knows. He’s seen it hundreds of times, he had grown up with Regulus and himself being covered head to toe in welts, bruises and cuts. He just never thought he would be sitting in front of his brother in the exact same predicament at 32 and 29. 

“Reg-“

”Now you know why Leo can’t visit.” Regulus mumbles quietly, his eyes flickering around to check who else is in the room, “It isn’t safe.”

Chapter Text

“Who did that to you Reggie?” Sirius asks quietly, his eyes unable to move away from the battered skin.

”Just..”Regulus sighs, flexing his fingers and Sirius’ notices the raised bruised knuckles, “You know what kind of people Mum and Dad know..I’m a traitor Siri. They know people in here, not just prisoners but..the cops too.. there’s this new guy.” Regulus drops his voice even lower, not trusting anyone around them and starts speaking in French, “Ils ont commencè à travailler avec un homme du nom de Tom Riddle. Je ne voulais pas participer, ma femme ètait mourante et je voulais juste être avec elle et Leo. Ils m’ont laissè faire. Tom m’a laissè faire. Je me suis concentrè sur Leo et Saria, j’aurais dû le savoir. Ils n’allaient jamais me laisser repartir avec tout ce que je savais.”

”Qu’est-ce que tu sais? Est-ce vraiment si mauvais?” Sirius asks with a frown.

Regulus gives him an incredulous look, “You do remember our parents?”

”How can I help you, Reggie?” Sirius asks, his eyes searching his little brothers face for answers.

”You’re already doing the most important thing.” Regulus smiles weakly, “You’re looking after my baby. Just focus on him for me, please?”

Sirius is taken back by the pleading tone and the sincere desperation is Regulus’ eyes, “Y-yeah course.”

”Is he..is he doing okay? I imagine it’s weird for him living with you when he’s never even met you before..” Regulus hesitates slightly, “Sorry about that by the way..just out of nowhere..I just.. I didn’t want Lucia to take him to our parents place-“

”I’m glad he arrived at mine and not there.” Sirius reassures quickly, “He’s settling in okay, I think. He’s made friends with James’ son Harry and Remus’ son Teddy-“

”You and Remus have a son?” Regulus asks, his voice full of surprise.

”No.” Sirius shakes his head, “Remus and his ex wife have a son. Me and Remus broke up years ago, Reg.”

Regulus frowns unable to believe what he had just heard. He always thought Sirius and Remus would be together forever.“Oh,right sorry..”

”Yeah, it’s been..nearly ten years.” Sirius shrugs, deciding to quickly go back to what Reg needs to know. “Leo is great though. He’s such a smart kid. Ooh! This will make you proud! Teddy is deaf right,and Leo just..he pushed a kid at the park for picking on Teddy-“

”He pushed a child?” Regulus gapes, staring at Sirius wordlessly. That didn’t sound like Leo at all, he was usually so shy and reserved.

”Yeah but only after the little brat pushed Teddy. He told Ted to move but obviously Teddy didn’t hear him so the horrid little shit pushed Teddy over and Leo pushed him back, his Mother was furious and when she learnt the full story she dragged him out the park. I think she was embarrassed for assuming it was all Leo and Teddy’s fault.”

”That’s my boy.” Reg smirks feeling his chest swell with pride. He was so proud of his shy little boy for defending his friend.“Is he sleeping okay?”

Sirius sighs and shoots Regulus a look, “Six am? Really?”

”Like clockwork.” Reg laughs softly.

”He talks to his Mum you know?”

Regulus nods, “He doesn’t remember her much..she died when he was three and the stuff he does remember is just her being ill.”

”What was she like?”

”Beautiful.” Regulus breathes out, his eyes burning with tears almost immediately, “Beautiful soul. Beautiful mind. Beautiful in every sense of the word. I felt like the luckiest man on earth when I met her.. when the wedding got approval from the family..I felt like it couldn’t get any better and then Leo came along and for the first time in my life I felt..complete. I felt like I had the family everyone always dreams of and talks about..”Regulus’ voice cracks painfully, “When she got sick..I felt like my entire world had ended. Leo kept me going. If it weren’t for him Sirius, I would have given up such a long time ago. His Mum was the love of my life, she’s my soulmate and the only one for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of loving anyone the way I love her.”

”I’m so sorry Reggie.” Sirius whispers, his own voice filled with pain as he hears the anguish in his baby brothers voice.

As the older brother it was always his job to protect Regulus, it was always his role to look out for him and save him from harm. Many times growing up, Sirius took the blame for things Regulus did so that Reggie wouldn’t get the punishments their parents liked to dish out. He would sneak into his room to sit and read with him until he fell asleep because he was so afraid of the dark. He wishes he could have protected Reg from the pain of losing his wife too. He wishes he could have protected Leo from losing his Mum to such an awful illness too or at least protected his memories of her, let him have the good ones instead of the bad. 

“How are you planning on getting out of here?” Sirius asks, “Leo needs his Dad still.”

Regulus sighs, “I’m working with someone but I can’t tell you who. It’s all very hush hush because if it gets out to the wrong people- I’m fucked.”

”Got it.” Sirius whispers, relaxing a little bit. Regulus was smart and if anyone could lower their sentence or get freed sooner, it was him.

”Oh I have a favour to ask you..” Reg says timidly, “Um my friend Pandora..she has been looking after our cat but..turns out she’s severely allergic..any chance you can take him in?”

Sirius pulls a face of absolute horror, “I hate cats.”

“I bet Leo misses him..”

”Don’t do that.” Sirius says, already feeling himself weakening, “Don’t use Leo against me.”

”Is it working?”

”Unfortunately.” 

Regulus laughs in disbelief, before growing stern again, “Is he still being a fussy eater?”

”Fuck! I was going to ask about that! What foods does he like? What will he eat? I really don’t think he’s eating enough and it’s driving me up the wall.”

”It’s just a phase he’s having. There’s literally nothing I can say or do because one minute he likes something and the next he really really doesn’t. It’s been three months now but good luck with that one.” Regulus snorts, finding the look on Sirius’ face highly amusing, “That’s just kids for you, sorry.”

“I knew there was more reasons to dislike them.”

The two brothers chat and laugh just like old times, something heavy lingers in the air between them. Unapproachable territory. Sirius was not allowed to ask or insert himself in whatever Regulus was doing. He had to step down as big brother, trust that Regulus knew what he was doing and step up as Uncle instead. He knew the implications, if he tried to get involved he could end up in prison too and where did that leave Leo? He had to put Leo above Regulus- something that Sirius had never done before. Regulus was always his most important person, but it was clear that Leo was taking that spot and Reg would have it no other way. 

Before he leaves, he gets the address of Pandora Lovegood and decides to collect the cat on his way home to James’. As much as he disliked cats, Leo would probably be over the moon to be reunited with Nox and he would do absolutely anything on this god forsaken earth to make all these changes a little easier. He would do anything to see more of Leo’s adorable smile and bright eyes. 

He leaves Regulus with a horrible feeling in his chest and his gut, he knows looking after Leo is the most important thing but he can’t help but feel like he should be doing more. Regulus is and always would be his baby brother even if he was a grown man with a son of his very own and Sirius still felt the need to protect and help Regulus more.

Pandora Lovegood’s house isn’t far from his own flat, the front is blooming with colourful wildflowers and plants. The front door is sunshine yellow and Sirius can’t help but smile, it feels welcoming and cosy already. He thinks of his own flat, plain and white, no signs of life and he isn’t sure why it bothers him so much now when it never had before.

When she answers the door, Sirius is floored with memories of the blonde in front of him. She was also in Reggie’s year at school, he had always found her weird but as an adult, those things really don’t matter. In high-school you think that being cool and popular are the only things that matter but they’re not. 

“Hi sorry to turn up like this, Reggie said you’re allergic to the cat and asked me to come get it?” Sirius explains quickly, feeling extremely embarrassed.

”Oh thank goodness.” Pandora mumbles, opening the door wider, “It’s good to see you again, Sirius.”

Sirius follows her inside, the house is so fluorescent. The hallway and stairs alone are one of the brightest things he’s ever seen, the walls adjourned with homemade paintings and artwork. A mixture of Pandoras and presumably Luna’s. It makes his stomach flip with warmth, he imagines his own walls covered in Leo’s drawing and it makes him smile. He realises he would really really like that, it would probably make the flat feel much better. 

The sound of little footsteps padding down the stairs, snatches his attention and he sees Pandoras daughter, Luna. They’re little twins, matching long blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. Luna is wearing a sparkly pastel rainbow fairy dress with glittery wings and a crown. She’s holding a wand in one hand and Nox the cat in the other. 

For some reason Sirius assumed Nox would be smaller, perhaps a kitten but he was a fully grown chunky thing and he could tell immediately that he belonged to Regulus because he looked absolutely furious to be playing fairies with a child. He could’ve swore the cat was actually scowling at the grown ups, as if to say save me.

”He’s huge.” Sirius states dumbly, staring at the massive fucking cat.

”Yeah..”Agrees Pandora, “I’m not sure what Reg feeds him but he’s a very big boy.”

”Um..I’ve never looked after a cat before.” Sirius admits quietly, “Do you have a list of things he needs ?”

”Oh you can just take everything we took from Reggies place.” Pandora tells him, “I do want to know how Leo is though? Do you have time for a quick brew?”

Sirius hesitates, “I really should get back to him..I’ve been at the prison all morning..but maybe we can meet up with the kids one day soon? I know Leo is missing Luna.”

”Yes absolutely,”Pandora grins, handing her phone to Sirius, “Put your number in there and we can arrange it.”

”I want to see Leo!” Luna informs them eagerly, holding the cat tighter as he tries to escape.

”Put Nox down.” Pandora tells Luna sternly, “Leo’s Uncle is taking him back to Leo.”

Luna’s forehead crinkles sadly as tears begin to well up in her eyes , “Oh okay.”

“Don’t worry, you can see them both soon.” Sirius assures her kindly, handing Pandora her phone back, “Leo is missing his best friend.”

”I miss Leo too.” Luna pouts, “It’s not fair. He is always at my house and now he not.”

”I’ll make it up to you both, yeah?” Sirius finds himself saying, slowly realising that his first instinct was to comfort the child rather than roll his eyes at the dramatics.

What the hell was wrong with him? He didn’t like children, especially random kids he had never met before. He tells himself it’s because Luna is Leo’s best mate and Leo is his nephew. It definitely isn’t because he’s starting to change his mind. He still didn’t want them. Still didn’t see them in the future. His mind instantly betrays him, the memory of pushing Leo on the swing with Remus standing beside him pushing Teddy. He feels sick. He never wanted this. He still doesn’t. His heart and mind are just confused after seeing Reggie. 

He walks back to his flat, carrying Nox in the cat carrier, his cat bed tucked under one arm and a big bag of random shit in the other hand. He didn’t realise how much crap one animal could have. Nox is hissing in the cat carrier, clearly unhappy with his mode of transport but Sirius’ flat is literally a five minute walk and he hates that he’s been so close to Leo’s best friends and had no idea. They’ll arrange something as soon as possible. He can’t wait to see Leo’s reaction to seeing Luna again after such a challenging and strange week.

When they get to his flat, he sets the carrier down on his already wrecked sofa and opens the door. He tries to coax the cat out with treats but he hisses at Sirius and swats at him with his paws in warning. Sirius figures the cat can tell he’s a dog person and isnt happy about this situation or he is really pissed off at being put in a carrier. He fills the cats bowls up with food and water, leaving them to one side in the kitchen and then he empties and puts away the rest of Nox’s things. He checks on the cat again before he leaves, he’s definitely glaring at Sirius when he peeps into the carrier. Nox seems content, curled in a ball and plotting Sirius’ murder.

Leo is overjoyed when Sirius picks him up, he runs at his Uncle and practically jumps into his arms. Lily laughs fondly at the sight, herself and James exchanging identical raised eyebrows as Sirius asks a million questions about Leo. Did he behave? What did he have to eat? Then directing at the toddler, Did you have fun? Was you okay being with James? Sorry I had to go for a bit. He was fussing and didn’t even seem to realise. James was very amused by it.

”How is your brother?” James asks when Leo runs into the garden to say bye to Harry.

”Beaten.” Sirius mumbles, “Absolutely battered black and blue..”

”Shit.” James breathes out, “Anything we can do?”

Sirius shakes his head, “He said looking after Leo is the most important thing I can do.”

”Yeah he’s a great kid. Helped me prep lunch and ate the lot of it.” James informs him.

”What was it?”

”Sandwiches with lurpak butter, ham, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes.”

”Right..of course he’s a snob and only likes expensive butter.” Sirius grumbles, “I now have a cat at my residence by the way. So steer clear.”

James shudders dramatically, “Did not have you down as a cat man.”

”It’s Leo’s and Reggie’s cat.” Sirius snorts, “Thought I would surprise him.”

James doesn’t say anything, he just stares at his best friend, taking in the drastic change. Yeah there was still things Sirius needed to improve on when it came to Leo but after a week, it was fucking obvious to everyone but Sirius how much he actually loved and cared about Leo. He would set fire to the entire universe if anything happened to that kid under his watch. 

Leo’s little hand held Sirius’ all the way home, he told Sirius all about his time at the Potters, chatting so much shit that Sirius had a hard time following but he could tell Leo had the best time. By the sounds of it, Leo and Harry had run circles around James with games of hide and seek and tag. Leo was stifling yawns by the time they reached the flat.

”I have a surprise for you.” Sirius tells him, “I think you’ll like it.”

”Okay Uncle Siri.” Leo yawns again.

”Tired, kid?” Sirius chuckles softly as Leo rubs his eyes.

”Es-hausted Uncle Siri.” Leo tells him shaking his head, “Harry is crazy.”

Sirius laughs as he guides the four year old into the flat, he holds his breath waiting for him to realise. Leo’s eyes widen as he runs towards the cats bowls, sure enough Nox is stuffing his face and Leo just yanks him into his arms. He squeals happily, nuzzling his head into the soft black fur. Sirius waits for the cat to hiss at him or scratch him but the cat looks more than content in Leo’s arms. He rubs his face against Leo’s cheek and purrs softly. 

“Nox!” Leo repeats over and over again, “My fat kitty. I loves you Nox.”

Sirius smiles at the them, despite the cat’s hostility towards him, it was clear the cat adored Leo- as did everyone and everything that met him. He must have that Black family charm embedded in his DNA, he was raised by Regulus after all.

”You hungry kid?”

”Nope.” Leo shakes his head, “I goings to show Nox the flat.”

”Erm okay.” Sirius nods, catching the balcony doors with the corner of his eyes. Now he had a four year old and a cat to be weary of. 

He rummages through the cupboards, he knows he has a tool kit somewhere. Peter had purchased it for him, insisting he would dabble in DIY when he and Remus got a place together but of course they didn’t. They just hired people to do it for them. Neither of them were very good at manual labour, Remus was admittedly a little bit better than Sirius. The only thing Sirius tinkered with was his motorbike, which he had abandoned since getting Leo. He couldn’t take a child on a motorbike could he? So, they walked everywhere or relied on James for lifts. 

He’s about to give up, assumes Remus had taken it when they split up when he spots it at the very back of his junk cupboard. He grabs it with two hands, gently manoeuvring it out of the space and realises he doesn’t actually know how to fix anything. He’s never had to fix a door or balcony fence in his life. He needs to try though he knows that much.

Leo is chatting happily to the cat, showing him around every single room, “This is the baf-room. We not allowed to touch Uncle Siri’s nail polish okay?” He says sternly, “If you wants your nails done you ask Uncle Siri.”

Sirius laughs to himself as he listens in on Leo’s tour, he was so unintentionally funny and it made Sirius so inexplicably happy. He has a weird familiar drop in his chest, when he realises he only has three weeks left of this. Leo would be staying with Evan and Barty soon, which was for the best but it still made Sirius..sad? Sirius shakes the thoughts away, turning his focus to the balcony doors as long as they were locked and secure, the fence could wait. 

Maybe Leo could come for sleepovers occasionally, so that he could see Harry and Teddy. He’d definitely want to see his two new friends…Sirius shakes his head again, trying to push the thoughts of Leo leaving away. He didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t like how it made him feel, knowing Evan and Barty would swoop in and take over. They still had three long weeks yet, he didn’t understand why he was getting so worried about it. Leo would be absolutely fine. Barty and Evan loved Leo, Sirius knew that. 

“I fixed the balcony doors.” Sirius informs James when he arrives at Harry’s birthday party on Saturday.

James looks surprised, “By yourself?”

”Err yes? Is that so hard to believe?” Sirius frowns as Leo rips the present from his hands and runs to find Harry.

”It’s been broken for two years Pads.” James smirks, watching as Leo flees the scene, “What the fuck is in that box?”

”Oh you’ll love it.” Sirius smirks, “Leo said Harry mentioned wanting it..”

”No.” James pales dramatically, “Please tell me it’s not-“

”SLIME!!” Harry’s yells echo across the garden, “YAY!YAY!YAY! Thank you Leo! Thanks Uncle Siri!”

Leo side eyes Harry, his smile disappearing off his little face. He glances up at his Uncle Sirius with a frown, crossing his arms furiously over his chest as Harry starts eagerly opening the box of slime. Sirius rolls his eyes as Leo stomps away from Harry, pouting and narrowing his eyes at him.

”Bloody hell.” Sirius mutters when Leo kicks a plant pot angrily.

He jogs across the garden, almost tripping over other children as they run freely on the grass. Leo is sitting on a bench at the back of the garden, turned away from everyone. His face scrunched up adorably with anger.

”What’s up kid?”

”Harry call you Uncle Siri!” Leo snaps, thrusting his hand towards Harry, “You’re my Uncle Siri! Not his!”

Sirius can’t help smiling, feeling very loved as the four year old continues to sulk and glare at Harry across the garden, “Sorry kid but I am both of your Uncles. I’m Harry’s godfather, like Evan and Barty are your godfathers.”

”I not happy Uncle Siri. I warning you.” Leo sulks, his eyebrows furrowed together.

”It’s Harry’s birthday Leo, don’t spoil his special day.” Sirius tells him, “He was so excited that you were coming. He absolutely loves you. I think you might be his best friend-“

”Nuh-uh. Luna is my bestest friends.”

”You can have two best friends, kid.”

”Three.” Leo tells him, pointing across the garden, “Teddy too.”

Sirius swallows dryly, turning to see Teddy running with Harry and Neville. He can’t see Remus anywhere, he’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not. He’s not sure if he wants to see Remus or if he’s relieved the man doesn’t appear to be in the garden.

”Why don’t you go and play? Hmm?” Sirius suggests gently, pointing towards the bouncy castle where some other kids are jumping, “Look! That’s much better than jumping on my sofa isn’t it?”

”It’s Spider-Man..”Leo breathes out, his eyes wide, “My old bedroom is Spider-Man.”

”Yeah? I bet you’ve got the coolest bedroom ever.”

“Yes! It’s Spider-Man every-fink! Spider-Man wall, Spider-Man bed, Spider-Man light and even..Spider-Man bin!”

”The curtains?”

”Spider-Man.” Leo nods happily, “Daddy did it all on his self!”

”Wow aren’t you lucky?” Sirius smiles, “Go play kid, I can tell you’re itching to join in.”

”Okay Uncle Siri.”

Sirius sits back on the bench, watching as Leo sprints across the grass and tackles Teddy in a big hug. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that Teddy is only three because he’s tall like his Dad and is around the same size as Leo who is small. Teddy is giggling despite being knocked to the ground, Leo helps him up and the two of them run hand in hand, chasing after Harry and Neville. Sirius assumes the other children are from Harry’s class at school, he doesn’t know any of them.

He can see the cliques of parents, a group of gossiping blonde Mums in one corner, Dads scrolling through their phones or catching up on the football as they sit in collapsible chairs. Parents were another issue entirely, he hated the idea of making small talk with any of these people. No, he did not care that their son had lost a tooth the other night. He did not care that their daughter won a gymnastics award. He did not care.

”Mind if I join you?”

Sirius looks up to see Lily, holding two cups of juice and as he nods, she hands one to Sirius. It was an extremely hot day, the sun was sweltering and he had packed sunscreen into his Dad bag- just incase. He’d already applied it to Leo’s skin twice before they even left the house. 

“Err is Remus around?” Sirius asks as he takes another look around the garden.

Lily nods, her flaming red hair bouncing as she does, “He’s helping James with something, why?”

”He’s avoiding me.” Sirius sighs, “How are you feeling anyway? Not too hot?”

”I knew James told you.” Lily laughs softly, “I’m okay, just feel very sick all the time.”

Sirius pulls a face, “There’s another reason I don’t want kids.”

”You’re a gay man, Sirius, you don’t have to worry about the sickness part.” Lily reminds him, grinning as she sips her drink, “Leo seems to have really settled at yours.”

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees, “I’m so proud of him.”

Lily has that soft look in her green eyes, the one that Sirius can’t decipher but it’s the exact same look James keeps giving him and it’s starting to really irritate him. He wishes they would just come out and say whatever it is they’re thinking. 

“SPIDER-MAN!” A bunch of kids squeal excitedly, snatching Sirius’ attention.

A masked man in a tight spider-man suit steps outside, waving at all the eager and excited children. Teddy stands to one side, looking extremely unimpressed as he raises his eyebrow judgementally.  Sirius looks the man up and down, it’s definitely a bit risky for a kids party. The costume leaves nothing to the imagination, several Mums are blatantly staring at the man’s crotch over their sunglasses.

”Is that Moony?” Sirius breathes out, unable to tear his eyes away.

”Yeah.” Lily nods, “James begged him..”

”I would’ve been a good Spider-Man.” Sirius insists as he angles his head to check Remus’ arse out.

”You would have complained about your hair.” Lily says, smacking is thigh lightly, “Put your eyes back in your skull Black, you’re drooling.”

Sirius snatches his eyes away, not hearing Lily, “Hmm?”

”Never mind.” 

Sirius pulls a face as the blonde Mums approach Remus, twirling their long bouncy hair and giggling like school girls. He tuts at Lily, “Could they make it anymore obvious? There is children around.”

James startles him with a loud chuckle, his arms folded as he narrows his eyes at Sirius, “You got a bit of drool on your chin there mate.”

Sirius knows he is winding him up but he instinctively wipes the back of his hand on his chin anyway, “Why did you do that? Could you not afford an actual guy, Mr rich guy?”

”Remus is an actual guy.” James nods towards where Remus is posing for pics with the children.

”Teddy doesn’t look impressed.” Sirius tells him.

”He knows it’s his Dad.” James shrugs, “You and Moony gonna talk then?”

”Jesus Prongs.”

”Talk about what?” Lily puzzles, looking between her husband and Sirius.

James grins, “They got down and dirty on Thursday.”

”You owe me a tenner James.” Lily smirks, leaning back against the bench, “I bloody told you it would happen.”

”Wow betting on me again? What are we twenty?”

“Oof you have no idea.” James smirks, “Peter bet £10,000 you two would get back together by the end of this year.”

Sirius’ mouth falls open, “He can’t afford to lose that bet. He’s got twins on the way!”

”Better make sure he doesn’t lose then eh?” James teases lightly.

”I don’t want kids. Teddy is a kid.” Sirius mutters heatedly.

He was so sick to death of repeating himself to everyone. Why couldn’t they just listen and accept his decision?! His brain once again supplies him with the memory of the park, the kids on the swings and Remus by his side. He thinks about Remus with Leo that night, how amazing he was with him. He recalls the day they went swimming, the way Remus lifted Teddy in air as the child laughed with delight. Remus was meant to be a Dad, always meant to be a Dad. Sirius wasn’t though, he wasn’t made for it the way Remus was..but did he want it now? 

His eyes find Remus across the garden, lifting the kids up and posing for the glam Mums. His heart soars dramatically, his head spinning as Remus just exists before him. Could he really spend the rest of his life on the sidelines? An outsider on Remus Lupins life? Or could he do this? Could he actually step up and be Teddy’s step-father as well as Remus’ boyfriend? Sirius abruptly stands up almost knocking his and Lily’s drinks over.

”You good?” James asks with a concerned frown.

Sirius nods numbly, watching as Spider-Man waves bye to all the children and heads back inside. 

“You’re shaking, Sirius.” Lily says gently, taking his hand in hers.

”I-“

”DADDY!” Leo’s voice screams across the garden, “D-Daddy! I wants my Daddy!”

Sirius spots Leo on the floor, his hands on his knees as he sobs. One of the blonde Mums is crouched by his side, trying to lift his hands from his knees as he pulls away from her screaming for his Dad. Sirius picks up his Dad bag from where he dumped it besides the bench earlier, and runs over to Leo. 

“I’ve got it.” He says impatiently to the woman as he sees the cut on his nephews knee.

Leo sobs as he lifts his hands away, “It hurt Uncle S-Siri.”

Sirius hates blood. It knocks his sick, the sight of crimson red blood trickling down his nephews pale leg makes him want to hurl. He forces a smile, more of a painful grimace as Leo looks at him with tearful eyes for reassurance.

”You’re alright.” Sirius assures Leo (or perhaps himself) as he rummages through his bag, “You’re going to be just fine.”

He takes out a wipe, clearing away the dirt and blood and holds it down for a minute for the blood to subside. Once he’s confident it’s stopped, he moves the wipe away to find a minuscule cut on his knee. He tuts at a little at the dramatics, a reminder as to why he isn’t a fan of little kids but mostly he’s just relieved that Leo is okay. He puts a paw patrol plaster over Leo’s injury, ensuring it was a Rubble one because he was Leo’s favourite character and kisses the top of it.

”All done.” Sirius smiles, surprised when Leo wraps his arms around his neck for a hug. Sirius wraps his arms around Leo, rubbing his back comfortingly as the sobbing gradually comes to a stop, “You’re so so brave.”

“I miss my Daddy.” Leo whispers sadly in Sirius’ ear.

”He misses you too, kid.” Sirius whispers back, “He is so proud of you. He loves you very very much you know that, right? He loves you more than anything.”

Leo nods, “I know.”

Remus doesn’t mean to overhear, he was just coming back to rejoin the party as himself and not Spider-Man. He saw everything. The moment Leo tripped over the step and onto the concrete slabs, he saw how Sirius jumped into action grabbing his bag and seeing to Leo’s injury. He heard every single word, every whisper of reassurance and watched as Leo clung to every comforting thing Sirius said. Sirius probably didn’t even realise what he was doing, or how much it would have helped Leo in that moment. Sirius would never realise just how good he was with his nephew and his friends kids. It was like he refused to let himself see it.

Leo forgets his entire ordeal after cuddling Sirius for a bit. He rejoins forces with Teddy, the two of them chasing after Harry and some of his school friends again. Sirius bins everything he doesn’t need, puts the wipes back in his bag and sighs. He freezes comically when he spots Remus, the taller man smiling at the blush that creeps across his pale skin. They hadn’t spoke at all since their night of passion, Remus had no intention of bringing it up ever again. He didn’t want to ruin what little friendship himself and Sirius had built as exes. He couldn’t bare it if he lost Sirius entirely, he liked the little glimpses into his life even if they hurt sometimes.

”Hey.” Sirius breathes out awkwardly.

”You remembered your Dad bag then?” Remus teases lightly, making Sirius blush again.

”Uncle Bag.” Sirius corrects half heartedly, “Y-you erm..good Spider-Man.”

Remus chuckles and hides his face as it burns with embarrassment, “James begged. I don’t know why he couldn’t do it himself. It was a bit snug.”

”Yeah, I could tell.” Sirius says, coughing quickly in an attempt to take back the words. “The blondes were staring at your crotch.”

”I noticed.” Remus smirks, looking over his shoulder and making the Mums giggle squeakily.

Sirius falters a little. He didn’t much like the idea of Remus with anyone else. The Mums were blatantly eyeing him up and Remus was loving the attention if the flush across his freckled face was anything to go off. Sirius flexes his fingers as he tries to fight the urge to pull Remus’ arm and force him to look back at him. 

“Why did you leave?” Sirius asks instead, cursing himself for letting his mouth open without consulting his brain first.

Remus turns back to him, hurt flashing in his eyes as he presses his lips together tightly, “I had to go home and get ready, then pick Teddy to take him to nursery and go to work.”

”I-if..if you didn’t have those things to do..”Sirius’ voice breaks pathetically in his throat, “Would you have stayed?”

”No.” Remus answers truthfully.

Sirius feels his heart shatter, it felt almost as bad as when they broke up. It stung. It felt like he couldn’t breathe as his heart was sliced into pieces with each breath he took. He smiles tensely at Remus, attempting to hide the pain inside.

”Leo would’ve seen me and it would have confused him, Sirius.” Remus whispers tightly, “Kids are more observant than you realise.”

”Oh.” Is all Sirius can say, blinking stupidly as Remus begins to walks away, “and if Leo wasn’t there?”

Remus shrugs, a mischievous twinkle in his hazel eyes and a sly smile on his lips, “I guess we will never know.”

Chapter Text

Sirius holds up the different paper swatches of red and blue paint in his hands, whilst balancing his phone between them to compare the shades to a Spider-Man image on Google. He already had white and black paint tins in his shopping trolley, along with new Spider-Man themed items. It was terribly impulsive but he was Leo free for the night and he wanted the distraction. He needed the distraction. He couldn’t spend another second wondering about Remus or fantasising about their non existent future together with the kids. Sirius really did not want children. He really didn’t like them.

Harry and Leo begged for a birthday sleepover and even performed a song with a complicated dance about how they were best friends. It took everything in Sirius not to burst out laughing as the two boys stood before them in the living-room, poor Leo desperately trying to keep up with an eager Harry (who had clearly directed the entire thing). Whatever that shambles of a performance was, got them exactly what they wanted as Lily and James clapped and agreed that Leo could spend the night. 

Sirius was worried that Leo would change his mind, he had his phone on loud and was more than prepared to drop everything to fetch him, even if it was 2am. He could already sense he wasn’t going to be sleeping tonight, the anxiety of being apart from Leo for the night too much to handle. Perhaps Leo was ready, he might need a break from his Uncle Sirius but Sirius definitely wasn’t ready. He hated the idea of Leo needing something and Sirius not being there. Sirius reassures himself with the fact that Leo had his bunny and his epipen, the two things Leo absolutely needed. James could call if things got too much, if Leo was acting up or simply wanted to come back to Sirius’ flat, James had promised to call. 

Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. Distractions stopped him from messaging James every five minutes to check in on Leo. If painting the spare bedroom impulsively distracted him from the anxiety he felt? Then good. Great. If coming back to Sirius’ flat tomorrow to a Spider-Man themed bedroom made Leo smile, then even better. Sirius knew he could change it back once Leo left, but he knew he wouldn't. He had already mentally decided that yes, Leo would definitely be having sleepovers in the future. Regulus could probably do with a break every once in awhile, a chance to be just Regulus and not Dad and Sirius was more than happy to have his favourite little person stay. The spare room was no longer a spare room, it was just Leo’s bedroom and it would forever remain that way. Now that Leo was in his life and he had seen Regulus again, Sirius wasn’t just going to part ways with them. He had made that mistake with Reg before, he wouldn’t repeat history.

As soon as he returned to his flat, Nox was under his feet meowing and demanding food. Sirius had left the cat with a bowl full but the fat fluffy thing had scoffed the lot. He filled it because what else was he supposed to do? The cat wouldn’t leave him alone until he did and he had to get a move on with Leo’s bedroom make-over, he only had until tomorrow afternoon to get everything perfect. Sirius stared at Nox in disbelief as he chomped down the food, practically inhaling it. Once the bowl was empty again, Nox wandered to the sofa and started dragging his sharp claws down the back of it.

”Do what you want.” Sirius mutters in annoyance, “I’ll be getting a new one when you’re both gone anyway.”

He drags the treadmill out of Leo’s room first, taking it to his balcony where he can lock it outside. He doesn’t use it and it could hurt Leo if he isn’t careful, it’s better off out there. He drags the bedside table and lamp outside the room too, leaving them just outside Leo’s bedroom door. He realises he can’t shift the bed and pushes it away from the wall he intend to paint. He had a vision in his head, he knew what he wanted to do and he was determined to make it happen. Unlike Regulus though, Sirius didn’t have an eye for art and as he puts the decorating sheets on the floor to protect the carpets and opens the tins of paint, he realises this. He wanted to paint spider-man swinging above the bed but his painting skills are extremely limited- okay, none existent.

Luckily he knows someone with a wicked talent for art.

The phone rings, Sirius impatiently taps his foot as he holds his breath. It was half nine on a Saturday night, most people he knew would be out drinking or looking after their children. There’s no guarantee the person will answer and it leaves him a little irritable, he wants the room to be perfect for Leo. He wants Leo to come back tomorrow and be surprised that the boring white room was gone and had been replaced by his all time favourite superhero. He wanted Leo to feel at home with Sirius, in Sirius’ boring flat. He wanted Leo to find comfort here.

”Hello?”

”Ah Fabian thank fuck.” Sirius says, “Listen, I really need your help with something, are you free?”

He can hear chatting drunks and faint pounding music in the background, but Fabian says, “Yeah, I’m free.”

”Are you sure? It sounds like you’re out?”

”Its alright. I wasn’t having a good time to be honest.” Fabian replies casually, “Need me to bring anything with me?”

Sirius ponders for a moment, “Beers? Maybe? It’s going to take a while?”

”Umm okay.. what exactly is it you’re needing me to do?”

”Spider-man painting on the spare wall of Leo’s room..”

Fabian laughs softly, “Alright yeah.”

”I’ll pay yo-“

”Don’t be daft, we’re friends aren’t we? I’ll be over soon.”

Fabian arrives twenty minutes later with a crate of beers and a bottle of red. Sirius is so relieved for the extra pair of hands, the both of them will definitely be able to get it done in time. Nox curiously comes over to investigate. He sniffs at Fabian’s feet but when Fabian reaches down to stroke the cat, Nox hisses at him and scratches his hand viciously before running to hide underneath the sofa.

”I’m so sorry.” Sirius says sincerely, placing the beers down on the kitchen counter, “He doesn’t like adults. He only likes Leo.”

“I did not have you down as a cat man.” Fabian admits, dropping his phone and keys down on the coffee table.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Nope. Somehow I got dumped with my brothers kid and his cat.”

“Please.” Fabian scoffs, “You adore Leo. You’re turning soft, Sirius.”

”Shut up.” Sirius says playfully, opening two beers and handing one to Fabian.

”Show me the way.” Fabian grins, following after Sirius.

Sirius watches as Fabian takes a pencil and draws a faint outline on the back wall, it takes him a good hour for that part alone. When he starts painting with precision, Sirius just watches mesmerised by each neat stroke. He knows he should do something to help but what could he do, other than offer drinks? Then he remembers the new curtains, he could definitely do that despite being a few drinks in to the night. He drags the bedside table from the hall to the window in Leo’s room balancing on it to reach for the curtain pole. He lifts it off the hooks, and tilts it so the blackout curtains fall to the floor. Jumping off the table with a light thud, he shuffles into the living-room to start putting the new curtains on the pole.

Once he’s started, he doesn’t stop. He puts one of the new Spider-Man lampshades on the bedside lamp stand. He unboxes and sets up the Spider-Man shaped night light, adjusts the new Spider-Man clock to tell the correct time and starts framing the spider-man posters he got. Leo was going to love it, even if it was all a bit too colourful for Sirius. He wanted his flat to feel like another home to Leo, that’s all that mattered to him. He grabbed his tool kit that he had used to fix the balcony doors the previous day, to build the new toy box and cube storage unit he bought for all Leo’s toys. 

He couldn’t wait to put everything in the bedroom once the paint dried. Leo’s reaction was going to be incredible. On a whim, he decides to use the paint to add Leo’s name on the bedroom door and the toy box, making it even more personal and homely. It just felt right.

”I’m done.” Fabian informs him, a little after one in the morning.

Sirius follows Fabian into Leo’s bedroom and staggers as he is truly blown away (and a little drunk) at the Spider-Man mural, Fabian had done it so the web shooters coming out of Spider-Man’s hand spelled Leo’s name in the cobwebs. It was a minor detail that Sirius never would have thought of, but he knew it would be quite possibly Leo’s favourite part. 

“Thank you.” Sirius breathes, admiring the once plain white wall, “It’s amazing.”

”I hope he likes it.” Fabian smiles, wiping his paint covered hands down his top, “I’ll help you move his stuff back in? Did you get a new lampshade for the ceiling? I’ll put that up, you’re a bit too short to reach mate.”

”Wow.” Sirius tuts in mock offence, “Calling me short?”

”Yep. No height to you whatsoever.”

Fabian laughs at Sirius’ fake gasp, the two of them somehow standing closer together. Sirius can taste beer on Fabian’s breath, he had only drank one whereas Sirius had at least four..maybe five. He was a little dizzy when he thought about it, the weird fuzzy feeling coursing through his blood but he stands on his tiptoes and smacks his lips against Fabian’s. He truly is grateful for everything Fabian was doing to help. Fabian’s hands rest on Sirius’ hips as he kisses him back, a soft moan passing through them.

”You can help me put it all back in the morning.” Sirius murmurs against his lips, his hand trailing down Fabian’s torso and brushing over his crotch. He squeezes lightly as he feels the cock come to life beneath his palm.

Fabian nods, capturing Sirius’ lips with his own, tugging on his bottom lip with his teeth to make room for his tongue. Sirius knows it’s a bad idea. Fabian was a nice man, a good man, husband material and Sirius was head over heels for someone else. The more he kissed Fabian, the more memories of his night with Remus scorch his brain. He’s so desperate to forget about Remus. So desperate to let Remus go and enjoy the life he deserves away from Sirius, that he needs Fabian to fuck him until he can’t remember his own name, let alone the name Remus Lupin. 

The tumble out of Leo’s bedroom, crashing into the piles of furniture just outside. They don’t make it very far, both of them losing their T-shirts as Sirius goes down on his knees, tugging at Fabian’s pants until their on the floor. He licks and sucks, does everything right as elicits those sweet sounds from Fabian’s mouth but it’s Remus on his mind. It’s Remus he’s imagining his lips around as he brings Fabian to the edge. Fabian pulls out of Sirius’ mouth quickly, spurts of white cum covering Sirius’ lips, cheeks and eyelashes.

”Fuck.” Fabian mumbles, trying to catch his breath. He spreads the cum across Sirius’ lips with his thumb, pushing in a little to give Sirius a taste, “You’re so hot, Sirius especially when you look like that..covered in my cum.”

Sirius whimpers pathetically, his cock rock hard in his jeans as he stares up at the man towering over him. It was all wrong. Fabian wasn’t the one Sirius wanted to be with, but he was the only one Sirius could have without strings.

”Why don’t we take this to your room? I can make you feel good, release all that pressure for you..” Fabian whispers lowly, “We can do whatever you like Sirius.”

The heated moment is interrupted by frantic knocking at the front door, Sirius blinks in surprise before quickly standing to his feet. He had been so distracted he hadn’t checked his phone in hours! What if it was James bringing Leo back? He wordlessly shoves Fabian into his bedroom, hushing him and closing the door behind him. He tries wiping the cum off his face with Fabian’s abandoned jeans before tossing them aimlessly over the kitchen counter. He feels sweaty and sticky but he hasn’t got time to double check his appearance as the knocking persist urgently.

He would never forgive himself if Leo needed him and he was too busy fucking around with a guy to notice. He swings the front door open in panic, his heart seizing inside his chest when he sees Remus instead. He doesn’t know what’s better or worse. Of course he’s grateful that Leo is okay, but Remus is on his doorstep and Fabian is in his bedroom.

”Sorry.. is this a bad time?” Remus asks, his voice slurred slightly from alcohol.

”I..erm..”

”You’ve got cum on your cheek and in your hair.” Remus informs him, his tone short and clipped, “So I’m guessing you’re occupied, yeah?”

Sirius stares at Remus unable to comprehend the fact that he had just turned up, it was 3am and Remus was drunk, standing outside of his flat and judging him for drowning in cum. It takes him a second to realise that Remus isn’t actually judging him. If anything, Remus looks fucking devastated as he keeps staring at Sirius’ cum splattered face.

”I didn’t really expect visitors..” Sirius says, attempting to rub his face to remove the evidence of another man, “Leo’s at-“

”James’. I know. They invited Teddy. They’re all fast asleep in a tent in the living room.” Remus snaps unintentionally, rubbing his hands over his face, “Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m so fucking stupid.”

”What? Remus no, you’re not stupid.” Sirius rasps, reaching out to take his hand but having snatched from his grasp.

”Yes I am.” Remus scoffs, “I came to talk. To fix things..to change things..I don’t know. I-I just had too much to drink and I thought I could..change your mind.”

“Oh Moony.” Sirius says softly, “Please just..come in yeah? I’ll order you an Uber.”

”I’ll walk.”

Sirius shakes his head, “Like hell you will. How much have you drank? Get in the flat right now or I’ll call Dora.”

Remus pauses, he didn’t want his ex wife to know he was an irresponsible dickhead. If Teddy didn’t want to sleepover anymore, it was him the Potters would call to collect Teddy, not her and yet he had got absolutely bladdered. Too concerned with drowning his sorrows than thinking of his child potentially needing him in the night. He hesitates as he follows Sirius inside the flat, he looks around remembering the night they had shared together and feels vomit crawling up his throat.

Actual vomit.

He gags and throws up down his top and frowns, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Sirius is standing right there and he wants the ground to swallow him whole, the last thing anyone wants it to upchuck in front of their very fucking hot ex. Sirius doesn’t say anything as he guides Remus to the sofa, ensuring he doesn’t trip over all of Leo’s stuff dumped outside his bedroom. 

“I’m a mess.” Remus grumbles as he falls down onto the sofa, “My head is a mess. I’m a mess.”

“You’re not a mess.”Sirius tells him firmly, quickly fetching him a glass of water, “Sit up and drink this. It’ll help.”

”I am a mess.” Remus repeats between sips, his eyes filling with tears. He blinks them away and tilts his head towards the tv, “Is that a cat?”

Sirius follows Remus’ eye-line to see Nox peering from behind the television, staring right at Remus, “Erm yeah he’s called Nox. He hates adults… can you excuse me one second? I just need to-“

”Inform your shag that your ex has turned up in tears because he wanted to talk to you about f-feelings.” Remus guesses, laughing to himself as he sips the water loudly.

”I guess you could put it like that..yeah.” Sirius nods, rushing to his bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

This was not happening. Remus didn’t get drunk. Not like this. Not turning up at his exes place with a confession on his tongue drunk. Not being sick on himself drunk. Not sobbing on the sofa whilst sipping mouthfuls of cold tap water drunk. Fabian is spread out naked in Sirius’ bed, lazily palming his hard cock and Sirius feels the burst of arousal but is quickly shot back down to earth. As tempting as Fabian was, the man he loved was crying next door and he had to kick Fabian out.

Fabian drops his hand away from his dick as if he can read Sirius’ mind, “You’re kicking me out.”

”Sorry.” Sirius cringes but doesn’t deny, “Its just-“

“Remus.” Fabian fills in, “I heard.”

”Sorry..”

”For what it’s worth, I hope you two manage to fix things.” Fabian shrugs, “I remember you two always being together in school. You only get one great love in life, don’t waste it if you can help it.”

Sirius frowns, watching as Fabian searches for his clothes, “We’re not getting back together.”

”In that case, hit me up whenever you want your dick sucked or your holes filling.” Fabian says, “Um.. any idea where my clothes are?”

”Just..” Sirius opens his drawers, grabbing a random tshirt and jeans, “Wear these. I’ll find them when Remus is gone.”

Sirius doesn’t stay to watch Fabian change, he goes back into the living-room with the overwhelming urge to check on Remus. When he walks in, he stills at the sight of Nox curled up with Remus on the sofa. Both of them are fast asleep. His heart warms at the sight, Nox was meant to hate adults but here he was snuggling with Remus. He feels momentarily jealous of the cat, he’d do anything to cuddle up with Remus again. 

“Very domestic.” Fabian grins as he passes by, slipping his feet into his shoes and grabbing his stuff off the counter.

”Shut up Fab.”

”See you tomorrow night?”

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees without thinking, he would probably need his spine realigned after a night with Remus. Even if that night was clearing up his exes vomit and reassuring him that he isn’t a mess.

The sound of the front door closing behind Fabian, makes Remus jump awake and he groans miserably as he clutches his head. He looks down at his sick covered t-shirt and without warning strips himself, he bunches up the top and drops it to his side. The cat nuzzles closer to him, Remus chuckles softly as he scratches him behind the ears. Sirius is unable to tear his eyes away from Remus’ lightly toned body, watching as the cat purrs happily against him.

“I can’t believe he likes you.”Sirius whispers in shock.

”I’m very likeable.” Remus hits back, his voice low and emotional, “Lots of men and women want to date me but what does that matter?!”

Sirius sits on the edge of the sofa, “Remus..I’m sorry but my mind has never changed. I don’t want to be responsible for a little persons life and their future…I-I can’t.”

”Can’t!?” Remus asks his voice screeching a little as he indicates towards Leo’s things, “You’re fucking doing it aren’t you?”

”Not by choice Moony..you know that.” Sirius whispers, his heart hurting as he watches Remus’ face flicker through several heartbreaking emotions.

”I love you.” Remus bursts out, “Why? Why can’t..”

Sirius sighs, his eyes burning with tears, “You know why.”

”Because I have a son.” Remus nods, his voice breaking as his eyes remain on Nox.

”Teddy is great.” Sirius continues quietly, “He is so funny and smart, so kind and loving Rem and that’s because of you.”

”But?”

”I never wanted kids.”

Remus nods, tears falling like raindrops onto the soft black fur beneath him, “I’m so fucking deluded. I keep telling myself you’ll change your mind and I can’t move on because..if you did change your mind..then I’d want to be ready..”

”Remus.” Sirius breathes out sadly, his own heart breaking in his chest.

”I was going to ask you to marry me.” Remus states, his voice shaking as he avoids Sirius’ eyes, “The day you left.. I was-“

“You have to move on.” Sirius interrupts, unable to listen to Remus’ confession. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t because it would weaken him and he would make loads of promises he couldn’t keep and then he would break Remus’ heart all over again, “I won’t ever be the man you want. I’ll never be Teddy’s step-dad..you..you have to let it go.”

”I can’t stop loving you.” Remus whimpers, “I tried but I can’t stop.”

Me neither. Sirius thinks, wiping away his own tears quickly so Remus doesn’t spot them. He’s never seen Remus look so vulnerable and so broken before and he hates it. He hates that it is because of him, he hates that Remus’ heart is broken because he can’t be the man Remus deserves.

”I don’t want to fuck Teddy’s head up, Remus.” Sirius whispers, his throat tight as the truth starts coming to light, “I don’t want to be the reason these kids end up like me..”

Remus looks at Sirius, confusion on his pretty face, “What do you mean like you?”

”I never recovered.” Sirius admits, unable to meet Remus’ eyes, “The abuse..” he taps the side of his temple with his finger, “It’s all trapped up here and I can’t escape. Why would I ever want to put my own children through that shit? I can’t handle the pressure of being nothing like them Remus.. I raised my voice once at Leo and I felt like killing myself.”

”We all raise our voices sometimes. We all get things wrong.” Remus says, holding the cat closer to himself, “I got drunk and Teddy is at his first ever sleepover and if he decides he doesn’t want to sleep anymore..”

”You’ll sober up soon.” Sirius mumbles.

“You’re not the only one afraid of getting it wrong, Pads.” Remus whispers gently, “We’re all afraid.. I mean.. I don’t know what to do about Teddy.”

Sirius frowns, “What do you mean?“

Remus’ voice wobbles, fresh tears falling down his face, “He’s deaf, Sirius. Dora and I..we have no idea what it’s like for him. We’ve been talking to this audiologist bloke, reckons Teddy could have hearing implants in a few years but it’s a major operation and..I-I don’t know what to do.”

”What do you want to do?”

”I don’t know.” Remus sobs harder, pressing his fingers against his eyes, “I want to wait until he’s older..let him make his own choice but..what if he misses out on things now?”

”You'll figure it out.” Sirius nods, “You always figure everything out. It’s what you do best.”

Remus shrugs, “I should really go home.”

”Just stay.” Sirius insists, a little desperately, “You can take my bed-“

”No thanks.” Remus declines, looking at the dried cum on Sirius’ face.

Sirius blushes at the reminder, “Um that happened in here..we didn’t make it to the bedroom.”

Remus pulls a face of disgust, “Okay. Nox is coming with me.”

He stumbles as he stands, still both a little drunk and over emotional. He staggers into Sirius’ room with Nox in his arms and it takes everything in Sirius not to follow after him. All he wants to do is comb his fingers through Remus’ sandy brown hair, comfort him with sweet words and tell him Fabian means absolutely nothing to him. He wishes he could tell Remus he loved him too but he knows it’ll just hurt Remus even more. They had to let each other go.

Instead of following Remus, he goes into the bathroom for a shower. He scrubs at his skin until it’s red raw, wanting to erase all traces of Fabian. He felt like he had cheated, which was ridiculous because had been single since Remus and himself broke up. He had managed to hook up with many men over the years, Fabian included but with Remus sleeping in his bed- it all felt wrong. He felt like dirty lying cheat and it made him want to throw up. 

He grabs Leo’s old duvet cover on his way to sleep on the sofa, his hair dripping onto the hardwood floors. The thought of Remus sleeping just next door makes his head fuzzy, his heart and stomach nervous. Remus was the love of his life and yet, they were going to spend this lifetime apart.

Chapter Text

Sirius tosses and turns on the sofa, it’s not hard or anything. It’s soft and comfy, he sort of melts into the couch with the duvet cover but he’s far too aware of his ex sleeping next door. He’s listening out on high alert, worried that Remus will throw up and choke on his vomit or the cat will decide to murder him. He gives up on trying to sleep once it hits 5am and the sunrise starts coming through the gaps in the curtains. Sirius fills a glass with ice cold water and grabs two painkillers for Remus’ head, he creeps into the bedroom. Nox is curled at the end of the bed, he lifts his head staring Sirius down as Remus sleeps. His arm rested over his eyes, the slow fall and rise of his bare chest being the only signs of life.

He could stare at his ex all day, he was as breathtaking as a renaissance painting. The angle of his sharp jaw, highlighted by the crack in the curtains the sun shining over his freckled skin. He was so beautiful and Sirius had never deserved him. Before they got together, Sirius was broken and struggling. He had a different girlfriend every week, desperately trying to ignore the gayness like it was some sort of disgusting disease. He tried to ignore his crush on his friend, tried to bury it but it was no use. It was Remus. Remus Lupin. And he was fucking perfect. The first time they kissed, Sirius knew he couldn’t fight it, he needed this forever. He didn’t expect his forever to be cut short.

Remus’ hand drops from his eyes, making Sirius jump back into the shadows. Remus slowly peels his heavy exhausted eyes open, stares right at Sirius and groans dramatically. He looks to the side, noticing the two tablets and snatches them, swallowing them dry. 

“If you want to talk..please wait until my head stops pounding.” Remus says with another groan, “Why am I even here?”

”You don’t remember?” Sirius asks, his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach, “How drunk were you?”

”Drunk enough to turn up here.” Remus snorts, wincing when his head aches, “I’ve not felt this rough..in years.”

Sirius tentatively sits on the end of the bed, “Welcome to my world.”

”Where’s Fabian?” Remus asks, grimacing when he realises his mistake.

“You do remember!” Sirius accuses, pointing his finger at his suffering hungover ex.

”Bits and pieces.” Remus mumbles, “I remember you being covered in sp-“

”Okay okay.” Sirius holds up his hands, “Please don’t bring it up.”

”As long as you don’t tell anyone I turned up here, crying and begging for something I can’t have.” Remus mumbles, looking wholeheartedly embarrassed.

”I won’t tell a soul.” Sirius promises, “I’m going to hop in the shower.. you can use it after me? You kind of smell like sick.”

Remus sniffs himself and groans again, “Lovely.”

Remus isn’t in Sirius’ flat when Sirius gets out of the shower, he’s just gone. It’s almost like he was never there at all. Sirius starts to doubt his ex was in his bed last night, until he finds Remus’ sick covered t-shirt by the sofa. It’s the only piece of evidence he has that last night did actually happen. Remus had never been a big drinker, it was rather worrying he had reached that point and Sirius wishes he could ask Remus if he was okay but he didn’t think that would help matters.

He can’t stop thinking about everything Remus had said, the bit about asking Sirius to marry him weighed heavy on his shoulders and he could sense a bad day ahead of him. If Remus had popped that pretty question first, Sirius isn’t sure he would’ve followed through with his dumping. In fact, he knows he would have said yes and instantly started planning for their big day. For years, his life long ambition and only goal was to become Remus Lupin’s husband. His only dream snatched away from him with three little words- ‘I want kids’.

Children really did ruin everything.

Sirius takes his time dragging Leo’s furniture back into his room, he spends even longer putting Leo’s toys away, organising it all so everything has a place. He knows Leo will just put things away wherever he wants but Sirius enjoys organising things. It keeps him distracted. He likes order and tidiness, probably leftover from his traumatic childhood. It also stops him thinking about a marriage proposal that never happened.

He feeds the cat but is alarmed when the cat decides it isn’t hungry. He hates Nox and Nox hates him but the way that cat remains curled on Sirius’ bed when he loves food so much is kinda worrying. Leo loves Nox more than anything, he couldn’t let anything happen to the damn thing. He knows something is definitely wrong when the cat lets Sirius stroke his head and nuzzles into his palm with a soft purr. 

Sirius knows fuck all about cats. He hasn’t got a clue what is wrong so he calls the vet in panic. The vet tells him the cat simply isn’t hungry and will eat later, they’re not concerned in the slightest nor do they find it weird that the cat let Sirius stroke him. Sirius feels pretty stupid for being so worried after that. The vet was definitely laughing at him with all her little vet friends.

When James answers his front door, he looks like the walking dead. He looks so drained. The three boys are laughing and running loudly in the garden, Sirius could hear them down the street. It sounds like the three kids had the best night and were continuing to have the best time whilst they played.

”You look exactly how I feel.” Sirius smirks.

”Wonderful?” James guesses with a playful halfhearted grin, he really did look knackered.

”Like fucking shit.”

James scoffs, “Thanks a lot.”

”How long did they keep you up?”

James shakes his head, “Leo and Teddy were fine, slept in the tent downstairs but Harry had nightmares all night about a lizard man breaking into the house and killing us all. I was on the sofa all night too, don’t worry I didn’t just leave them on their own by the way.”

”I trust you.” Sirius laughs softly, “You know what you’re doing.”

James is just about to shut the front door when he spots Remus, “Moony!”

Sirius stiffens awkwardly as Remus comes into the house. Remus thrusts one of Sirius’ black band tees at him, both of them ignoring the way James stares between them both.

“I put the sick one in the washing machine..I’ll give it you whenever I see you?” Sirius almost whispers, feeling incredibly awkward under Remus’ sharp gaze.

“Just keep it. I don’t particularly want to bump into you again.”

”Hardly bumped into me Remus.” Sirius mutters heatedly. 

Remus narrows his eyes at Sirius coldly, before turning to look at James, “Is Teddy ready?”

”Yeah..I’ll just grab him.” James frowns, the tension in the hallway suffocating him.

”What time did you leave?”

”Why? Wanted to do breakfast in bed did you?”

Sirius inhales sharply, “Don’t take it out on me. I’ve always been honest about where I stand in life. I’ve never lied to you about that Moony.”

“Whatever.” Remus shrugs, plastering on a wide smile when James returns hand in hand with Teddy, “Thanks for last night James, I’ll text you in a bit I just..I need to go.”

James looks between the exes again and nods, “No worries Moons. Teddy was an absolute angel the entire time.”

”Good. Thanks again. I’ll see you later.” Remus smiles, taking Teddy’s bag and his hand and rushing out of the front door without another word.

James side eyes Sirius, confusion slapped on his face, “So..what happened?”

”Don't think Remus will appreciate me telling you to be honest.” Sirius mumbles as he looks down at his black boots, “Did you err know he was going to ask me to marry him?”

”Oh fuck.” James breathes out in shock, “Erm no. I didn’t.. I’m assuming that was before you broke up not recently?”

Sirius laughs despite the severity of the conversation and shakes his head, “The same day I told him it was over..he was planning on getting down on his fucking knee.”

”Shit.” James mutters, “I’m so sorry Pads.”

”What for? I chose to leave didn’t I? And now he has the son he always wanted. I did the right thing.” Sirius speaks more-so to himself but James nods along even though he doesn’t necessarily agree.

”Just..did you two sleep together again?”

Sirius shakes his head, “No.”

James looks rather surprised but pats Sirius arm supportively? Maybe it was sympathetically? James knew how badly Sirius wanted Remus in every way he could have him.

“Stay for lunch.” James insists, “Then I’ll give you a lift home, yeah?”

”Yeah.” Sirius nods, his face upturned with sadness, “Okay.”

Leo and Harry sit together, Leo wriggling about in his seat as he eats his lunch. James made lurpak buttered sandwiches again, with ham, lettuce and cucumber this time and Leo was happily eating the lot. Sirius figures lurpak might be the answer to all Leo’s fussy eating problems after all. The two boys eagerly tell Sirius everything about their sleepover, then tell him about the (imaginary) bear they were hunting in the garden before lunch. It’s a very serious conversation, Leo clings onto Harry’s every word and it reminds Sirius of himself and James. If they had met when they were younger, if his childhood was different then they’d be very much like this. 

James drops Leo and Sirius off outside their flat, Harry clinging to Leo like the scene in titanic. Neither boy wanting to say goodbye, eventually they separate and accept their fate. Knowing they’ll see each other again real soon. Sirius is bouncing with anticipation, he cannot wait to see Leo’s reaction to his new bedroom. He hoped it would make Leo feel more at home. He hoped Leo would understand just how much Sirius wanted him around, even if it was against his will at first.

Leo doesn’t even acknowledge his bedroom door, he runs straight past it to his cat. He picks Nox up and snuggles into him, his tiny arms hidden by fat black fur. Sirius watches as Leo’s face scrunches up in disgust, then he puts the cat down and his arms have blood on them. It’s not a lot but it’s obvious the cat is bleeding and Leo is distraught. 

“Nox is hurt!” He informs Sirius, his grey eyes wide with fear. “We needs a doctor!”

Sirius nods in agreement grabbing his phone and following the cat into his bedroom to try and get a better look. His fur is so fluffy and black that it’s impossible to see any sort of injury. The cat slips under Sirius’ bed out of sight, Sirius curses under his breath as he drops to the floor in an attempt to coax Nox from his hiding spot. He isn’t sure what he’s expecting but Nox curled around three kittens is the absolute last thing. He sits up in shock, then checks again to make sure he isn’t hallucinating but no. There’s definitely three tiny newborn kittens under his bed. One of them is all black, Sirius nearly missed that one. One of them is black and white and the last one is pure white. All three snuggled together, Nox is wrapped around them protectively.

Nox wasn’t a fat boy at all.

He was a pregnant girl. 

“I am going to fucking kill Regulus.” Sirius mumbles to himself as he sits there, unsure what he’s supposed to do. 

Leo comes into the room, using wipes from Sirius’ Dad bag to clean the bit of blood off his arms. Sirius is so proud of him for thinking logically that he could burst, he smiles at Leo when Leo dumps the dirty wipes in the bin in Sirius’ room. His eyes filled with worry for his feline friend.

”Nox?” He whispers quietly, his voice wobbling slightly.

”I don’t think we need to worry kid.” Sirius informs him, “Take a look.”

Leo trusts his Uncle Sirius with his everything. He knows he can go to Sirius for anything he needs and anything he wants. He doesn’t question what his Uncle is saying as he drops to the floor to peak underneath the bed. He gasps in shock, looks up at his Uncle for confirmation and Sirius just nods with a small smile on his face.

“I am a Uncle like you Uncle Siri!” Leo says, his eyes wide, pointing to each kitten as he counts them, “One..two..three.”

”You know what this means?” Sirius asks, Leo looking up at him with a frown, “Nox isn’t a boy.”

Leo frowns, “Fook-en hell!”

”Err no Leo. Don’t swear.” Sirius says sternly, trying to school his expression so he doesn’t laugh.

“I can’ts believe it! Daddy is going to be so super shocked!” Leo says exasperatedly, his face falling a little at the mention of his Dad.

”Maybe we can call him and tell him?”

Leo nods, “Yes we call him now Uncle Siri?”

“We can try.” Sirius agrees, patting the bed for Leo to sit on.

He sits besides Leo, his phone in hand as he answers the automated message. The song plays and Leo starts dancing along, giggling softly to himself but he freezes as soon as he hears Regulus’ voice.

”Hello?”

Sirius nods in encouragement but Leo shakes his head in refusal, “Um,hi Reggie, I’ve got Leo with me. You’re on speaker.”

”Oh, hey little lion.” Regulus says, a small shake in his voice, “How are you doing? Everything okay?”

”I hate you.” Leo declares angrily, “It’s not fair! Why you in the jail instead of looking after Leo?! You’re a mean Daddy and I hate you!”

Leo jumps off the bed, tears betraying his outburst of anger as he runs out of the room. Sirius hesitates before standing to follow after him, “I’m so sorry. He wanted to talk to you I swear. He was so excited and I just-“

”It’s the phone calls.” Regulus says, his voice breaking sadly, “When his Mum was dying all he had was phone calls with her, so he doesn’t really like them much. He usually FaceTimes people but can’t do that in here can I?”

”I’m sorry Reggie. He was so excited to tell you about his day.”

Regulus sighs, “It’s not your fault. Like Leo said. I’m in here and not with him. He has every right to be cross at me about it… just tell him I love him, yeah? I’ll let you go. He needs you more than I do.”

”Alright Reggie.” Sirius whispers. “I’ll visit again in the week.”

”Okay. See you soon.”

The line goes dead and Sirius’ heart breaks. He really thought Leo would talk to his Dad, Leo obviously missed Regulus a lot so he didn’t understand where the anger came from.  Leo is standing outside his bedroom door, tears have stopped falling as he stares at his name in red on the door. When he hears Sirius’ footsteps he frowns at him and points at it.

”It say Leo.” He says quietly, “That my name.”

”Really?” Sirius replies drawing out the sarcasm, “I had no idea.”

Leo narrows his eyes unamused, “ I didn’t do it Uncle Siri. I pwomise. It must have been the naughty baby kitties!”

Sirius laughs softly, “It was me.” Leo gasps at Sirius, making Sirius smile, “Why don’t you open the door, kid?”

”You drew on the door?”

”Painted.”

”You paint-did on the door?” Leo asks, his mouth hung open, “That not good.”

Sirius barks out another laugh, “It says Leo on your bedroom door, kid. That’s allowed.”

”My.. bedroom?”

Sirius nods, taking Leo’s hand in his, “Shall we look together?”

”Okay.” Leo whispers, clinging extra tightly to Sirius’ hand.

Sirius pushes the door open, guiding Leo into the made over bedroom. It’s a drastic change from the boring white to Spider-Man overkill but Leo’s eyes go wide at the sight. Sirius has never seen the kid so speechless before and his stomach does nervous flips as he waits for a reaction. Leo drops his hand stepping in to look around properly, his mouth hung open as he admires every corner. Sirius notices the ceiling lamp has been changed, but he couldn’t reach it and Fabian left before he got chance..which meant..Remus did it? He blocks that thought immediately, wanting to enjoy Leo’s moment of excited silence.

”WOW!” He yells, squealing in delight, “This is the best!”

”You like it, kid?”

”I LOVES it!” Leo grins eagerly, looking up at Sirius, “Did you do this Uncle Siri?”

“The kitties helped of course.”

”Of course!” Leo beams, “Wow..Uncle Siri?”

”Yeah?”

”I totally going to freaks out.” Leo bounces on tiptoes as he tries to take it all in. Then he dives towards Sirius, wrapping his little arms around his legs, “Thank you Uncle Siri!”

“You’re welcome kid.” Sirius grins, “It’ll be here always, whenever you want to sleepover you can.”

Leo frowns as he pulls away, “I not stay here with you?”

”Uncle Barty and Uncle Evan are coming remember?” Sirius reminds him gently, his stomach twisting with guilt.

”I remember..”Leo sighs, noticing the back wall for the first time and forgetting his moment of disappointment, “It say Leo!”

”Must have been the cats that one.” Sirius smirks, trying to ignore the gut wrenching feeling inside. 

He really didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye to Leo when the time came.

Later that night, once Leo was fast asleep, Fabian arrived. Sirius was more than happy for the distraction, skipping the small talk and politeness and dragging the hench ginger man to his bedroom. He needed to forget about Remus, Leo was a great distraction but once he was asleep, Sirius’ mind always wandered and he needed another one to get him through the night.

Fabian knew what he was doing, knew how to make Sirius wither and wriggle pathetically with his dirty mouth and rough hands. Sirius should have known they would get caught. Poor Leo ran into Sirius’ bedroom, tears streaming down his face as he clutched his bunny in his arms. Luckily their bodies were hidden by the duvet, they hadn’t got far just a little naked and a bit to touching. Lots and lots of kissing. 

“What’s up kid?” Sirius asks, awkwardly adjusting so he’s sat besides Fabian rather than straddling him.

”B-bad dream.” He hiccups, “Daddy died l-like Mummy.”

Sirius grabs his boxers off the beside lamp where they had landed and shuffles them on beneath the sheets, so he can climb out of bed and comfort the small child. He holds Leo against his chest and snuggles him closely.

”Your Daddy is okay, I promise.”

”I-I told Daddy I h-hate him.” Leo sobs harder, “I not hate Daddy. I loves my Daddy.”

”He knows.” Sirius assures, “Daddy knows how much you love him sweetheart don’t worry.”

Leo wipes his eyes with his bunny’s ear and looks over Sirius’ shoulder at the man in his bed, “Uncle S-Siri? Why that man in your bed?”

“Oh..erm.” Sirius turns bright red, “We’re having a sleepover.”

”Sleepovers are fun.” Leo yawns, rubbing his eyes. 

“Let’s get you to bed. I’ll be with you in one minute okay?”

“Okay Uncle Siri.” Leo yawns, dragging his feet across the carpet and making his way to his bedroom.

”You’re really good with him.” Fabian comments, “I haven’t got a clue what to do with all my nephews.”

“Thanks.” Sirius mumbles, “Look I’m really sorry to do this to you again but..you need to leave.”

Fabian snorts, “I don’t mind waiting..”

”Leo needs me. We redid his bedroom and he’s not used to it, so I’m going to sleep in his room with him tonight.. I’m sorry.”

”Don’t worry about it.” Fabian smiles grabbing his stuff, “He’s lucky to have you.”

Leo is half asleep when Sirius finally joins him in the big double bed, it practically drowns Leo and Sirius realises that maybe he should have swapped it out for a kids bed. Then again, if Leo had sleepovers with Harry or perhaps Teddy (he doubts Remus would allow that) then the bed was big enough for them all. Sirius settles down next to him, Leo snuggles into him and sighs contently. Sirius runs his fingers through Leo’s hair, trying to help him nod off. It’s the same thing he did for Regulus when they were little, it would have his brother snoring in minutes.

”Is that man your boyfren Uncle Siri?” Leo asks quietly, his voice heavy with sleep.

”No.” Sirius denies immediately, “Just my friend.”

Leo’s face scrunches up a little, “But you was kissing.”

Sirius presses his lips together, not entirely sure how to get himself out of this one. It was a hard thing to explain to children, the whole fuck buddies thing and now he understands why Remus didn’t stay that night. It would have confused Leo like Fabian did now, probably more so as Remus was Teddy’s Daddy. He’s grateful Remus had more sense than him, he never thought he’d be glad that Remus snuck away that night but he is.

Leo falls asleep and Sirius doesn’t have to think of excuses on the spot about Fabian. If he had any luck, Leo would simply just forget about what he saw and never mention it again. Sirius doesn’t think he’s capable of thinking up good lies and covers, especially appropriate ones for a four year old to follow.

The start of week two was pretty boring, Sirius learnt how to adapt and take care of the unexpected litter of kittens. Leo spent a lot of time playing in his bedroom with all his toys or they went to the park, just the two of them. He was relieved he hadn’t bumped into Remus, but he had a feeling Remus was avoiding the park when he wasn’t at work so he didn’t have to see Sirius.

Leo helped Sirius do a food shop, adding random shit in the trolley that he would eat. It was mainly a variation of sweets, but Sirius didn’t have the heart to say no. He ensured to pick up lurpak and various sandwich fillings, it seemed to be the only thing Leo would definitely eat. Everything else was hit and miss. Some nights he would eat his nuggets and other nights he wouldn’t. Some nights he would eat meatballs and spaghetti and others he wouldn’t. Sirius was tired of guessing what Leo was in the mood for but he was always in the mood for sandwiches with lurpak butter.

Sirius let the mess go, his rug and sofa were destroyed already so if Leo wanted to colour on the rug or jump on the sofa- whatever. It even reached a point, late Wednesday night that Sirius joined in. The two of them were dancing in their pyjamas in the living-room after Leo’s bath, singing along to Harry Styles whilst Leo swung his bunny teddy around and giggled like a mad man. When he jumped onto the sofa, Sirius joined him and they bounced until the sofa collapsed under the weight. Sirius panicked momentarily, thinking Leo was hurt but the four year old just laughed so hard he snorted, which caused the two of them to laugh again. It would end up being one of Sirius’ favourite memories with Leo.

It was Thursday when Sirius arranged to see Pandora and Luna, they met up at the park. Both the children unaware as to what was happening but when Leo saw Luna on the swings being pushed by her Mum, he absolutely lost it. He was more excited about seeing Luna again than anything else that had happened in the entire time he had stayed with Sirius. Luna and Leo ran to each other, holding each other tightly as they hugged and jumped up and down. It was so sweet. Sirius instantly regretted not arranging it sooner.  He had his Dad bag on his shoulder, a hot flask of tea in his hand and he sat side by side with Pandora, both of them watching as the two kids played together. 

The dynamic between Luna and Leo was slightly different to the dynamic between Leo and the boys. Leo was far more gentle with her, he let her go first on the steps up to the slide and everything like a proper little gentleman. Pandora kept taking photos of them both and Sirius ended up asking her to send them to him. He was surprised at how many photos had started building in his Leo folder. He seemed to take photos of everything he could now, wanting to savour every minute of his time with his nephew.

He had somehow managed to stay in contact with Barty too, the man was always asking how Leo and Reg were doing and Sirius didn’t mind keeping him and his husband in the loop. It was nice to know so many people cared and so many people were looking out for his nephew. Leo was so loved, he just hoped the child never doubted just how much. So many people were in his corner, fighting for him and loving him, wanting him to do well and be happy.

Friday, James agreed to have Leo again so Sirius could visit Regulus again. This time he was far more prepared and printed a few photos of Leo out as well as taking a drawing Leo drew for him. He knew they would make Regulus’ day because he was missing Leo terribly and as the weeks dragged on the more the miss would grow. Leo still refused to speak to Regulus on the phone, but now Sirius had a better understanding as to why he didn’t want to.

Sirius was pleasantly surprised by his younger brothers appearance, the bruising had faded significantly and it appeared that no new beatings had taken place. Regulus looked incredibly smug as he sat down, a nearby prisoner offering up his chair and standing up for his own visit instead. Sirius was mind-blown, just a week ago Regulus was being battered and now people were falling over themselves to respect him. 

“Do I want to know?” Sirius asks, sliding the photos and drawing across the table.

Regulus smiles fondly as he looks through the photos of Leo, his heart soaring at the drawing Leo did of the two of them. He missed Leo more than anything, each day was getting harder and harder but he was finally getting somewhere.

”It’s looking like I’ll be out in six months.” Regulus whispers, “It’s still longer than I would like..but it’s not three years.”

”How?” Sirius asks, unable to wrap his head around it all.

”I have dirt on Riddle and our family. They don’t know where my evidence against them is, they’re not willing to risk their reputations to keep me in here.” Regulus shrugs, smiling a little as he keeps looking through the photos.

“You’ve always been a manipulative bastard.” Sirius jokes, relief washing over him. Regulus was getting out of here.

”Only when I need to be.” Regulus points out, “Maybe..could you bring Leo next time? I know a prison isn’t really the best place for a child, I really don’t like the idea of him visiting me in here but I miss him so much. The bruising is gone so..maybe-“

”Yeah. I’ll bring him Reggie.” Sirius interrupts, “He misses you a lot.”

He doesn’t mention the nightmares. Leo had been having the same dream every night, his Daddy dying and leaving him like his Mummy did. Regulus didn’t need to know about that. Sirius was handling it. He had slept in Leo’s room every night that week, both of them seemed to sleep much better with the other one besides them.

”Barty and Evans passports arrived.” Regulus tells Sirius, “They’ll be coming to the UK at the end of next week.”

Sirius blinks in shock, “Sorry what? I thought it was a month?”

”They arrived early.” Regulus shrugs, “They haven’t got the time off work until next week though.”

”So..what?” Sirius frowns, his heart in his throat, “I only have a week left with Leo?”

”Yeah.” Regulus nods, “Bet you can’t wait to be child free again, eh?”

Sirius forces a smile, unable to shift the horrible sinking feeling inside, “Yeah..can’t wait.”

Chapter Text

Sirius felt numb. He tried his hardest to hide how he was feeling but everything just felt wrong. Deep down he knew the reason why, but currently it was like a persistent nagging in the back of his head. Like remembering you forgot something but not knowing what that something was. He had been sort of dreading the end of his time with Leo and now it was coming to and end even sooner. He felt like he didn’t have enough time to process it properly. He would speak with Evan and Barty, maybe arrange with them to have Leo a few nights a week until Reggie got out. Maybe they could work together and then he wouldn’t have to give his nephew up completely.

On the bus ride back to James’, he sits scrolling through all the photos and videos he had taken over the past two weeks and feels his heart bursting as his eyes sting. He didn’t think he would get this attached but even his phone background had been changed to a photo of Leo after years of being his beloved motorbike. It was possibly one of his favourite pictures of Leo, absolutely covered in ice cream on the park with his nails painted black and toothy grin shown mid laugh.

Leo made Sirius want to do better. He was the reason Sirius had started waking up at 6am in the morning instead of 2pm in the afternoon. He was the reason Sirius had started learning how to cook properly, the reason Sirius had finally got around to fixing the balcony doors and the reason Sirius smiled more often than usual. He hated that his time was being cut short, but it was always the plan. Evan and Barty were always coming to take Leo with them. It was probably for the best. They had known Leo since he was born, Sirius had only know the kid for two weeks. Yet, they might have been the best two weeks of his life.

He knows he can’t show his mixed emotions, needs to keep it together when Leo comes running to him for his hug but the second James answers the door, Sirius is in bits. James wordlessly beckons Sirius into the house, nervously checking over his shoulder to ensure the children are still occupied with the trampoline and water guns. James instantly thinks something is wrong with Regulus, perhaps he got beaten badly again.

”I-I can’t say bye James.” Sirius tells him weakly, his voice small as his grey eyes glisten with tears, “I can’t do it.”

James pales as he guides Sirius to sit on the bottom of his stairs, not wanting the children to notice him just yet, “He’s not getting out?”

”What?” Sirius frowns with confusion, wiping his eyes on his leather jacket.

”What.. are you..talking.. about?” James asks, equally as confused.

”Leo.”” Sirius sniffs, “Who are you talking about?”

”Regulus..” James puzzles, “Why are you crying about Leo?”

“Evan and Barty are coming for him next week.” Sirius explains quietly, “Their passports already arrived so..um.. they’re coming earlier than planned.”

James sighs and sits besides him, “You can refuse you know? Tell them you were told a month so therefore you want your whole month?”

Sirius fixes James with a stern look and tuts, “No I can’t. They’re the ones legally named as his guardians until Reggie is out. Not me.”

”You don’t want him to go. Do you?” James breathes, “You want Leo to stay right where he is..”

”Yeah. I want him to stay.” Sirius admits, “Just for the agreed amount of time.” He quickly clarifies but James can see it in his eyes, he doesn’t want Leo to go at all. He wants Leo to stay with him..permanently.

”Then tell Evan and Barty that.” James insists, “Tell Regulus that! Reggie's his Dad he calls the shots.”

Sirius shakes his head in refusal, “It’s better for Leo if he gets into his new routine with them sooner, right? He’s got six months with them.. that extra week will make all the difference to how he settles..”

James tuts in annoyance, “You’re always making excuses instead of going after what you want.”

”What is that supposed to mean?”

”You've done it for years Sirius.” James tells him exasperatedly, “For some fucking reason, you won’t allow yourself to be happy and as your best mate, I am sick to death of it. I just want you to be happy, Pads.”

”I am happy.”

James raises his eyebrow, really not appreciating the lies right now, “Are you?”

”Yeah.”

”What about Remus?”

Sirius frowns, “What does he have to do with this?!”

”You're running away again.” James says softly, “You want Leo to stay and you’re running from it. You want Remus and you have always wanted Remus, yet you choose to run from it.” James rubs his hands over his face, knocking his glasses askew, “I just don’t understand why? You’re allowed to be happy Padfoot. You deserve to be happy. And I know you won’t like what I’m about to say but-“

”Don’t say it then.” Sirius interrupts.

”You need to hear it.” James finishes, looking Sirius dead in the eyes, “By pushing people away and forbidding yourself of the people that make you happy…you’re making them just as miserable. You really think Leo wants to stay with Evan and Barty?”

”They're his Uncle’s too!”

James shakes his head, “Why don’t you ask Leo what he wants? Ask him who he wants to stay with?”

“He’s four.” Sirius says in defence, “It isn’t up to him.”

James looks at him as if his point had just been proven, Sirius stares back absolutely baffled by the look on James’ face. He looks so disappointed in Sirius that it hurts. It feels worse than when he was disowned by his entire family for being gay. The looks of disgust and disappointment from his parents, would never beat the look of hurt and disappointment from James Potter. 

“BOYS!” James yells, tearing his gaze away from his best mate, “Uncle Sirius is here!”

Sirius stands up just in time as two little humans run at him, both hugging onto his legs in excitement. He rubs the back of their heads, messing up their hair as he smiles down at them both. Leo pulls away, flashing Sirius a toothy grin and pointing at the gap between his front teeth. 

“You lost a tooth?” Sirius gasps, kneeling down to take a closer look, “Nice!”

”Toofth fairy gonna come tonight Uncle Siri!” Leo grins excitedly, “I gots my toofth in your bag!”

Sirius blinks at him, slightly confused. He had heard about the tooth fairy before from Harry, but he wasn’t clued in on the traditions as his own parents never bothered with things like that. James is busy repacking Sirius’ Dad bag, Harry is momentarily distracted by a ball and Leo is going on a wild tangent all about the fairy and what she does.

”Slow down, kid.” Sirius says calmly, trying to wrap his head around it, “She leaves money under the pillow?”

”Yeah!” Leo nods excitedly, “One hundreds pounds!”

Sirius frowns sceptically, “One hundred pounds? Are you sure?”

“Yes! I nevers lost my toofth before! It’s my first one Uncle Siri!” Leo beams, “It means I getting grown up!”

”So, it’s one hundred pound for your first tooth?”

”Duh!” Leo nods confidently, “She gots to use it to build her castle!”

Sirius frowns again, his teeth feeling weird in his mouth due to the topic of conversation, “She has a castle made of teeth?”

”Oh yeah.” James nods in confirmation, handing the bag to Sirius, “The whole tooth fairy town is made of teeth.”

”Of course it is.” Sirius mumbles, “Bit gross.”

Harry sighs at his Uncle, “As long as you brush your teeth good it’s not!”

”I brush my teeft don’t I, Uncle Siri?” Leo bounces on his toes, his little gappy smile etching it’s why into Sirius memories.

”Yeah you’re the best at it, kid.” Sirius smiles, his eyes still sad, “We better put this tooth under your pillow hadn’t we?”

”Yes!” Leo agrees, “I can’t wait!”

Leo swings Sirius’ hand back and fourth as they walk back to his flat, he talks about his time at the Potters and mentions how he misses Teddy. Sirius wishes he could fix that but Remus was still avoiding him and the last thing Sirius wanted to do was push boundaries. Remus needed space and time and Sirius had to respect that.

Leo starts singing a nursery rhyme as they spot some ducks, he’s so happy and content and Sirius wonders if he ever had moments like that with his parents as a child. Then it hits him, he didn’t have moments like that with Orion and Walburga but he did have moments like that with his cousin Andromeda. Before she ran away from home it was her who comforted himself and Reggie. Being the bigger brother, naturally he took over her role as carer when she vanished. He never did find out what happened to her.

They stop off at a cash point so Sirius can withdraw £100 for the damn tooth. He thought it was extortionate but Leo was so adamant that it was £100 and who was he to question Leo? He didn’t know any better. He didn’t have a childhood with stories of the tooth fairy, Easter bunny and Santa..he wonders what Christmas would be like with Leo and feels his heart break. He hopes Reggie would let him spend Christmas with him and Leo, at least just once. He usually just spent it third wheeling with James and Lily, playing with Harry and his new toys whilst the couple cooked up a storm in the kitchen. He would love to be there and witness Leo’s face light up on Christmas morning.

Leo doesn’t fight sleep that night, he curls up with Sirius in his Spider-Man bed and listens to Sirius’ version of Peter Pan as he drifts off to sleep. When Leo is snoring away, Sirius takes the tooth and slips the wad of cash beneath the pillow. He lingers for a moment, watching Leo sleep. The boys soft black curls covering his eyes, his little fist curled besides his head and the other arm wrapped protectively around his bunny. He really didn’t want this to end. 

He slumps into the broken sofa, the tiny baby tooth still in his clenched fist. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t just keep Leo without permission and if Barty and Evan had already been granted temporary custody..he didn’t really have a leg to stand on. For half a second he considered kidnapping but he wasn’t going to actually do that of course. Maybe..he should just talk to his brother like James said. Nox jumps up onto his lap, he stiffens slightly but then she starts purring softly as she settles down and gets comfy.

”You don’t hate me today?” Sirius asks, stroking her behind the ears, the cat meows in response.

A few minutes of content silence passes, Nox resting on his knees as he strokes her tenderly. Then there’s a strange mewl, Nox opens one eye, her ears twitching as another mewl starts and then another. Three loud attempts at meowing, but sounds more like birds squarking.

”Kids, eh?” Sirius jokes quietly.

She huffs as she stretches out, yawning in annoyance before she jumps off the sofa to see to the kittens that are still nesting under his bed. Sirius looks around the living-room, he sees the felt tip pen on his white rug and laughs softly. He might keep the rug as it is he decides, it added more colour to the place. Then he notices a piece of paper poking out underneath it, he gets down on his knees to release it and unfolds it. It was a drawing Leo had done, but this time it was of Sirius, Leo and the four cats standing beneath a sun. Sirius holds it close to his chest, tears threatening to spill again.

All he could do was give Leo the best last week with him. They would do more trips to the park together, more colouring and jumping on the sofa. He would do anything to make Leo’s stay with him as memorable as possible. He couldn’t change the road ahead, he couldn’t stop what was already in motion but he could make Leo smile.

He puts the drawing on the fridge with a magnet, it looked so right there and Sirius wishes he had more Leo artwork to brighten the place up with. He puts the tooth on the counter, not knowing what else he’s supposed to do with it and then he reaches out to Leo’s friends- well their grownups anyway.

marauders groupchat

pads: hi sorry it’s late. Leo is leaving in a week, I was hoping we could get together with the kids and give him a proper goodbye? I think they’re planning on staying with Evans parents and they don’t live near us so could be awhile until he sees his friends again.

prongs: what’s the plan?

pads: he really loves the park near mine so I was thinking a picnic next Sat? Going to invite his friend Luna and her Mum and Neville and his parents too. Just lmk

prongs: we’re in ofc

wormtail: would love to meet him but we’re still at the Liverpool specialist currently 

pads: how is Wendy and the twins??

wormtail: still holding on but reckon they’ll be born soon which is scary and very early 

pads: let us know if there’s anything we can do to help! You got everything you need from your place?

wormtail: yeah cheers pads got everything I think

pads: lmk if you need me to bring anything to you 

wormtail: thanks mate

prongs: am I on drugs? 
prongs: did that actually just happen?

pads: stfu! the twins are my nieces too..right?

wormtail: absolutely ;)

pads: can’t wait to meet them

prongs: I think I’ve hit my head 

moony: me too

pads: will you please bring teddy? Leo misses him a lot

moony: I’m busy I’ll ask Dora to

pads: ok cheers

Sirius can’t help feeling disappointed about Remus but Saturdays picnic was about Leo getting one final day with his friends. It was nothing to do with him seeing Remus. As long as Teddy was there and Leo got to see him again- that’s all that really mattered. Leo was the top priority, whatever made him happy is all that needed to happen and if Remus tried to pull out with a lame excuse, Sirius was going to have words because no adult fall out was coming between Leo seeing his friend. Simple. 

Sirius is rudely awoken by the loud overexcited screech of a four year old discovering £100 under his pillow. He hears the footsteps padding through the flat, seconds later his bedroom door swings open and Leo is standing there in his Spider-Man pyjamas, a thick wad of cash in his hands and his bunny tucked underneath his armpit.

”Toofth fairy came!” Leo grins, jumping onto the edge of Sirius’ bed, “I am rich!”

”Yeah, £100 is a lot of money for a tooth.” Sirius says nodding his head, “What are you spending it on?”

Leo looks up at the ceiling for a minute whilst he thinks long and hard, then he bounces closer, “THE ZOO!”

”The zoo?” Sirius repeats, “You want to go to the zoo?”

Leo nods eagerly, “I loves the zoo! It gots lion and guess what, Uncle Siri?!”

”What, kid?”

”Lion is called Leo!” He beams, “We gots to go! Please Uncle Siri! Please? Please? Please?”

”Since you asked so nicely, we can do it next Sunday before your Uncle Barty and Uncle Evan come for you yeah? I’ll book the tickets and we will have the best day ever.”

Leo frowns, faltering slightly, “They coming for me soon?”

”A week.”

”How much is a week?”

”Eight sleeps actually so a bit more than a week.”

Leo nods in understanding, “Okay.”

”We’re going to have the best week ever, yeah?” Sirius asks, recognising the fear in his nephews face.

”Yeah..” Leo nods again, staring down at the cash in his hands.

”You keep that,kid.” Sirius smiles stiffly, “I’ll pay for the zoo.”

“Can I..pay to get Daddy freed?”

Sirius’ looks at Leo sadly, “It’s a lovely idea, but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. However, if you’re up to it..Daddy would like you to visit?”

Leo face bursts to life, the happiness awakening instantly at the prospect of seeing his Daddy again, “LETS GO!”

”Wait no, tomorrow! Leo it’s tomorrow!” Sirius clarifies, “Maybe you can draw him another picture and we can take it with us, yeah?”

”Okay! I going to draw him the bestest picture in the world!” Leo declares, hopping off the bed.

”What do you want for breakfast?” Sirius calls after him as he slips out of the duvet.

”ICE CREAM!” Leo shouts back, the sound of clattering pens and the rustling of paper behind it.

”Ice cream it is.” Sirius shrugs unbothered.

The fussy eater wanted ice cream? Then ice cream he would have. He just hoped Leo wouldn’t mention it to Regulus tomorrow. 

Leo is silent on Sunday morning, he doesn’t say a word as he clutches his bunny and his drawing for his Daddy. Sirius knows Leo is nervous, a prison really isn’t any place for a little kid but he knows Leo wants to see Regulus. The first moment of panic hits when they’re informed that Leo can’t take his bunny in with him. Leo’s grey eyes fill with tears, he holds onto Sirius and his drawing even tighter as he tries to keep a brave face. In the end, Sirius ends up picking him up and carrying him, in hopes of giving him that extra bit of comfort. Leo wraps his arms around his Uncle, looking around at the echoing hallway as they’re guided to the visitors room.

Sirius spots Regulus first, his brothers eyes soften at the sight of his little boy and he tries to hold it together. Sirius can see that he’s struggling to hold it together, it had been five weeks since Regulus was arrested and charged without trial and without bail. Five whole weeks since he had seen his son.

”Leo?” Regulus says softly when he reaches them.

Leo turns his head to look at Regulus and practically jumps out of Sirius’ arms and into his Dad’s. He starts sobbing as he clings onto Regulus, too afraid of pulling away or letting go. Regulus wraps his own arms around him, soothing him with gentle back rubs and kind words. Sirius can see a guard nearby, watching them suspiciously. They were only allowed a few seconds of touching, otherwise they assumed you were sneaking things in. Sirius wanted to tell him to fuck off, let Leo have some time with his Dad but the guard approached. 

“No more touching.” He tells Regulus sternly.

Regulus nods as he continues to hold back his own tears, still holding onto his baby. He didn’t want to let go, he wanted to stay like that forever with Leo in his arms where he belonged. Regulus sets Leo onto the floor, crouching down with him as Leo’s arms still cling onto him. He tries to coax Leo away but the four year old stubbornly holds on tighter, tears streaming down his little face as he shakes his head. The second panic kicking in, he didn’t want to be separated from his Daddy. He wanted to stay right there with him, where he was safe and warm.

The guard forcefully grabs hold of Leo’s arm, yanking him away and then aggressively shoves Regulus into his seat, “I said no touching.”

Leo wails hysterically as Sirius picks him up again, his little hands lashing out and his legs kicking Sirius in the stomach as he tries to reach for his Daddy again. The guard gives the two men a pointed look, other visitors looking over in alarm. If he didn’t settle, they would be removed and they definitely didn’t want that to happen.

”Why don’t you sit with me?” Sirius says gently, “Then we can tell Daddy everything we’ve been doing!” He lowers his voice to whispers into Leo’s ear, “I didn’t tell him about Nox and the kittens yet.”

Leo stills, staring at his Uncle Sirius before nodding. He wipes his tears and snot on Sirius’ shoulder, settling into Sirius’ knee as they sit down together. Regulus can’t believe his child hating big brother had single-handedly managed to soothe Leo’s outburst. Sirius offers the lingering guard one of his burning glares, before turning his attention back to his brother and nephew. 

“I heard you painted your nails like Uncle Sirius is that true?” Regulus begins, noticing Leo won’t start speaking first.

Leo nods eagerly, holding his hand out so Regulus can see the chipped black polish, “I gone have a mocar-bike and tattoos when I bigger too! I wants be just like Uncle Siri!”

Regulus fake gasps, “I thought you wanted to be like me?”

Leo shakes his head, “Uncle Siri is cooler!”

”Ouch.” Regulus snorts, narrowing his eyes at the smug look on his brothers face, “What else have you been doing?”

”Oh gosh!” Leo sighs, “You’re not goings believe it Daddy! Nox is a girl!”

Regulus’ eyebrows furrow together as he shakes his head, “Nox is not a girl.”

”She had baby kitties!” Leo announces, thrusting his drawing at his Dad, “Look!”

Regulus picks the drawing up and smiles, it’s one Leo had done of himself, Uncle Sirius and his Daddy with four cats. They all somewhat resembled fat shapeless potatoes with stick arms but he had included their black hair and Sirius’ tattoos. Regulus looks up skeptically at Sirius, who nods in confirmation.

”Nox..had..kittens.” Regulus breathes out slowly then starts laughing, “Bloody hell.”

”That a no no word!” Leo scolds, glaring at his Dad across the table.

”Yeah sorry, Leo.” Regulus says whilst smirking at Sirius, “Um..you know they’ll have to stay with you right?”

Sirius nods, “I am aware. I did all my research when they were born. Thank you for that by the way. Just what I always wanted- cats.”

Leo goes on a tangent after that, describing everything he had done with Uncle Siri since he started staying at his flat. He mentions swimming, all the trips to the park, his bedroom which takes Regulus by surprise, Harry’s birthday party and his sleepover at Harry’s.  He talks animatedly about his new friends Teddy, Harry and even Neville who he had only seen twice. He talks about seeing Luna and her Mum again. He talks about all his new toys and how he had ice cream for breakfast yesterday. Both Regulus and Sirius cling to every word that leaves the four year olds mouth. Sirius loved hearing all the memories from the eyes of his nephew, he found comfort in the fact Leo would remember. Regulus found comfort in the fact that Leo was so happy, he had a blast with Sirius and he was so grateful to his brother for stepping up like that. He hates to wonder what it would have been like for Leo if he had to stay with Orion and Walburga instead. Leo continues talking, his eyes bright and hands moving delightedly with every word he says.

”I met Uncle Siri’s boyfriend too!” Leo adds, metaphorically throwing Sirius under the bus.

Regulus looks from Leo and towards Sirius who begins shaking his head, “There is no boyfriend. Leo, you know there is no boyfriend.”

”But you was kissing on the mouth!” Leo declares loudly, causing people to glance over in their direction, “In your bed Uncle Siri.”

Regulus narrows his eyes at Sirius, “In your bed yeah? Was it Re-“

”No!!” Sirius interrupts quickly, “There’s no boyfriend.”

”But Uncle Siri, people only kiss to make babies with their boyfriends.”

Regulus snorts at the perplexed look on his elder brothers face as the buzzer sounds calling the end of visiting time, “Good luck with that conversation.” 

Everyone around them starts getting up to move, Leo and Regulus look at each other equally as devastated as Regulus holds out his arms. Leo runs to his Dad, holding him tightly and wishing he didn’t have to let go. Sirius watches them with a heavy heart as Leo starts crying again. Regulus plants lots of kisses all over Leo’s face and hair. It was obvious, that despite the years of abuse he had endured, Regulus was nothing like their parents. So..why did that mean Sirius would be? 

“I love you, Daddy.” Leo whispers into the crook of Regulus’ neck.

”I love you too, little lion.” Regulus whispers back, stroking Leo’s hair as he chokes back a sob.

”You need to break it up.” The guard from earlier tells them, “Time to go.”

Sirius takes Leo’s hand in his, the child crying silently as they leave Regulus behind. It had been an exhausting few hours for Leo, he was probably feeling incredibly overwhelmed from finally seeing his Daddy again. Sirius isn’t surprised when Leo curls up against him on the bus and falls asleep. It was a lot for him seeing Regulus in that place, he can only imagine how bizarre it is for Leo.

Chapter Text

Sirius wakes up with Leo in his bed, he didn’t even hear the four year old come into his room. Leo had never snuck into Sirius’ bed before but he’s there, with his trusty rabbit in his arms and Nox curled up besides him, ignoring her kittens beneath the bed. Sirius is positive it counts as child neglect, but Nox is unbothered by leaving them unattended. Sirius gets out of bed and ducks beneath it to check on the babies, they’re sound asleep cuddling up to each other. They’re quite sweet, Sirius thinks and he might even keep one…

He frowns at himself, “I am not keeping no fucking cats.”

He didn’t like cats or kids, he wanted neither but as he stands up and sees Nox and Leo snuggling together, he has that feeling of doubt. Seeing Regulus and Leo together yesterday had changed his outlook significantly. Regulus had grown up in that same abusive household, received the same punishments and put downs, yet he was nothing like them. He was protective, caring and sweet with his son, Leo evidently adored him and looked up to him. Leo wouldn’t miss his Dad so much if he was an abusive piece of shit.

Sirius grabs his phone off the bedside table, deciding to tiptoe out for a rare peaceful six am coffee. Leo was clearly knackered after yesterday’s visit to the prison and if Sirius was lucky, he might finish an entire cup of hot coffee before being interrupted. The thought alone makes him feel sad, he should be overjoyed that this time next week he would never have a cold coffee first thing in the morning ever again- but he’s not. It’s just another reminder that Leo won’t be around. Today starts the first day of his final Leo filled week and he fucking hates it.

So when Leo does come barging into the living-room full of energy just ten minutes later, Sirius is all smiles. He puts his coffee to one side to be forgotten about as Leo hugs him and tells him all about his dream. They have nut free chocolate spread on toast for breakfast and Sirius is relieved to have found another thing Leo will eat and he adds it to the notes on his phone with the rest of the Leo approved foods. He will have to pass it on to Barty and Evan come Sunday, educate them on what he really doesn’t like eating.

”What should we do today, kid?” Sirius asks, trying to forget the end date.

”Park!” Leo decides without hesitation.

Sirius smiles fondly, “Oh alright.”

He texts Pandora to see if herself and Luna are free, he almost texts Remus to ask if Teddy is free too but he’s a teacher and it’s Monday. He wishes he had Remus’ ex wife’s number but he had never had any need for it until now. He wonders if it’s weird to reach out to her for the boys sake, but when Leo asks if Teddy can come with them, he decides to message her on Facebook. He doesn’t get a response before they head to the park, Leo holding a bag of stale bread for the ducks.

They visit the duck pond first, Leo happily tearing the bread into bite sized pieces for the ducks. Sirius fucking hates ducks, they’re all quacking and getting uncomfortably close to his designer boots. If they shit on him, he will lose his mind but Leo is loving every second. He tries to throw the bread as far as he can, the ducks fighting over it and snatching it from one another.

”There’s plenty! Stop fighting!” Leo tells them furiously, “I won’t gives it you no more!”

Sirius takes a video of Leo getting cross at them because it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. His little scowl and pout, his finger pointing at them whenever he tells them no. Even though he’s mad at them he doesn’t stop feeding them until the bag is empty and the ducks waddle back into the water. He then bins the bag as he runs ahead to the park.

Luckily, Pandora got the text and arrives a few minutes later with Luna. Leo is so over the moon to see her again, he boasts about his new paw patrol T-shirt that Sirius got him when he saw it on sale. He wouldn’t ever forget Leo’s reaction to receiving it, he was grateful and wanted to wear it constantly. Sirius somehow managed to convince him to change out of it for bed, but he had to wash it so he could wear it again the following day.

Luna and Leo run off to the slide, Leo helps her up the steps carefully. When they reach the top they shout for Pandora and Sirius, waving manically before they go down one after the other and repeat over and over.

”He adores you.” Pandora says as Leo screams Sirius’ name again when he reaches the top of the slide.

Sirius waves to him until he goes down again, “I adore him too.”

”I’m glad you messaged today. Luna is at her Dads house Friday to Sunday, so we wouldn’t have made his farewell picnic.” Pandora says with a sad smile, “Its a shame he has to go all the way to LA.”

Sirius frowns at her, “Sorry? LA? They’re not taking Leo to LA?”

Pandora turns to look at Sirius, equally as confused as him, “Aren’t they?”

”No? They’re staying with Evans parents at their house?”

Pandora’s blue eyes go slightly wide as she purses her lips together, “Um..Evans parents are dead..”

Sirius feels the colour drain from his face, “They’re dead?”

”Yeah.. they died years ago..it’s why Evan and Barty moved away..” Pandora explains.

”Oh..”Sirius breathes, his chest feeling really uncomfortable, “Wow..I’m sorry I really thought they were staying in the UK.”

Pandora smiles at him sympathetically, holding his hand in hers as she gives it a little squeeze, “When I spoke to Barty, he said they were staying at Reggie’s for three days and then going back to LA.”

”Oh.” Sirius says numbly, forcing a smile.

He wouldn’t even be on the same continent as Leo next week. What would happen if Leo needed him urgently? He couldn’t just hop in a car or on his motorbike and rush down the motorways! He’d need to book a flight and find his passport..what if Leo needed him? He wouldn’t get there fast enough..

”Um sorry hi, Sirius isn’t it?”

Sirius looks away from where Leo is running around with Luna, towards the new voice and is taken back by the pretty tanned girl with baby pink hair. She’s absolutely beautiful. Then he spots Teddy, holding her hand and he looks again, recognising her from one of Harry’s birthday parties a few years ago.

”Dora hi!” He greets standing up to hold out his hand to her before signing to Teddy, “Hi Teddy! Thank you so much for coming!” He turns around to locate his nephew, “LEO! Look who it is!”

Leo abruptly stops running, almost tripping Luna who is chasing after him. He looks at his Uncle with irritation but his mood quickly melts away when he sees Teddy. He squeals and jumps in delight before rushing over and hugging him, he takes Teddy’s hand in his as he pulls him along. Teddy’s Mum watches awestruck as Leo begins signing frantically to her son, explaining what game they’re playing and telling him who Luna is. Teddy’s usual shyness melts away as he immediately joins in with Leo and Luna who he’s never met before. It could sometimes take hours to convince Teddy to play with other kids, but Leo was his little guiding light. 

”He’s amazing.” She smiles at Sirius, getting a little teary eyed, “Remus said Leo was Teddy’s best friend but..I just..”

”Remus said that?” Sirius frowns, sitting down but leaving enough room for Dora to sit with himself and Pandora on the bench.

”Yes, I messaged him when I got your Facebook message and he explained Leo was leaving this week.” She says, “Teddy is heartbroken, told me lots about Leo on the way here.”

“Teddy is wonderful. You should be really proud of yourself, you’ve done great with him.” Sirius says sincerely.

Dora smiles at him, “I can’t believe I thought you were…you know.”

”No?”Sirius frowns.

”A miserable kid hating bastard.” Dora answers truthfully, making Sirius laugh heartily.

”I used to be.” Sirius admits quietly, “But then my friends started having children.. don’t tell them I said that.. they’ll start telling me it’s my turn next.”

Pandora looks at Sirius curiously, “And you..still don’t want children?”

Sirius shrugs, “Who would I have children with? I’m a gay man.”

Dora looks at him with a soft smile and kind eyes, “There’s one man I know, who has a son already and left his wife because he was so utterly in love with you.”

Sirius starts spluttering and stammering nervously, his eyes wide in horror at the words leaving her mouth. This was Remus’ ex wife, the mother of Teddy and she knew who Sirius was. She knew what part he played in her marriage falling apart! Sure he wasn’t actively destroying it, he didn’t lure Remus into bed when they were married or anything but she knew Remus loved Sirius whilst they were married! Remus had told her the truth?!

”Relax.” Dora chuckles seeing the alarm on his face, “When we first met.. he told me stories about his three best friends at school. He told me about you, about how he fell head first when he was thirteen-“

”Thirteen?” Sirius whispers in shock, he hadn’t known that. He always assumed he fell in love with Remus first..

”He told me about the break-up and the ring he had got you.” Dora continues, “He was always honest with me about how he felt. I don’t doubt that he loved me, but where our love faded with time..his love for you never wavered.”

”Do you still love him?” Sirius asks quietly, his heart in his throat.

Dora shakes her head, “Not like that. I’ll love him and respect him forever as Teddy’s Dad and as my friend, but I’m not in love with him. Not like you are.”

”I can’t be with him..”

”Because of Teddy?” Dora asks, tutting a little, “Everyone else might let you blame my son, Sirius, but I won’t. I’ve seen how you are with Leo. I even saw you at Harry’s party with Teddy. You learnt sign language so he wouldn’t be left out.. you don’t do those things if you don’t care, Sirius.”

Sirius rubs his lips together and sighs, “I..I do care. Teddy deserves the entire world and I can’t..”

”You’re not your parents.” Dora says sternly, “and before you accuse Remus of telling me, he hasn’t… but I can tell.”

”How?” Sirius asks, he thought he had always hidden his past quite well.

Dora smiles sadly, “Because you remind me of me..except..I learnt that I wasn’t my parents much sooner than you did..and as I result..I let myself do things that make me happy.”

”Like my brother.” Sirius mumbles, “He realised too..”

”I think what Dora is trying to say,” Pandora starts gently, “Is that, you need to get over yourself. You’re going to lose Remus if you’re not careful.”

Dora nods and delivers the final devastating blow, “He started seeing this man..”

”What?” Sirius blinks, gaping at her.

”Apparently, he was inspired after you told him to move on..”

”Fuck.” Sirius curses angrily.

He really did not like the idea of Remus with another man. He didn’t like the idea of Remus with anyone but himself if he were being honest. He distanced himself from Dora during hers and Remus’ marriage because he could not stand being around her. He couldn’t bare watching them loved up and happy together, it knocked him sick and he hated himself for being so jealous. How could he dislike such a nice woman? Just because she didn’t run away from Remus like he did.

”Do you really want someone like me to be part of Teddy’s life?” Sirius asks Dora seriously, “My head is all wired wrong-“

”So is mine and I’m his Mother.” She says, “Besides, aren’t you already part of his life? He knows your name, he talks about your motorbike all the time and he loves Leo.. what difference does it make? You protect him, you might not think so but you do. When he was sat all by himself at Harry’s parties, you were the one who went over and played with him so he wasn’t all alone and stuck playing with myself or Remus as he does every day. You learnt BSL for him! I don’t think you realise how big of a deal that is.. you’re his hero, Sirius. He loves you completely for the things you’ve done for him.”

Sirius looks across the playground at Teddy as he laughs and runs after Leo with Luna. Of course he loved Teddy, just as he loved Leo and Harry. He would do absolutely anything for the three of them, whether they were related by blood or not, he saw them as his nephews and he wanted to always be there. Always protect them and make sure they were okay. He was supposed to hate children, he was never supposed to entertain the idea of them. But as he sat on the park bench, sat between Regulus’ best friend and Remus’ ex wife- he thought that maybe, one day, he might like to try the whole Dad thing.

He is momentarily distracted by Leo gingerly shoving Teddy towards the grown ups. He has a determined look in his eyes whilst Teddy looks irritated as Leo continues to goad him.

”Leo, what are you up to?” Sirius asks with a raised eyebrow.

Leo turns to Teddy,one of  his hands hidden behind his back, ‘Say it!’

”I can’t talk, I’m deaf’

Leo narrows his eyes at him in the same way Regulus does to Sirius, ‘Just do it!’

Teddy rolls his eyes and looks at his Mum, ‘Leo thinks you’re real pretty.Says you’re like a Princess.”

Sirius stifles his laugh as Leo glances at Dora from behind Teddy’s shoulder. Dora smiles at sweetly, “Thank you, Leo.”

”I gots you this.” Leo says, revealing an assortment of weeds from behind his back.

”Wow they’re lovely.” Dora smiles kindly, “Thank you darling.”

Leo turns bright red and smiles at her before fleeing the scene. Teddy looks annoyed as he trudges slowly after his friend. Once in the clear Sirius bursts out laughing, it reminded him of his little crush on James’ Dad when he was eleven and Petes never ending crush on James’ Mum. Dora was absolutely going to be that Mum of Leo, Harry and Teddy’s friend group growing up..or would be for the other two. Leo wasn’t going to grow up with them. He could imagine Leo as a teen being just like him, flirting and winking at Teddy’s Mum every chance he got, tormenting his best friend was a bonus of course. He wishes Leo could grow up here with these boys, he just meshed so well with them. It was like it was meant to be..he fit in here..

Tuesday, Sirius took Leo to a local fair that was happening for charity. They got to have lots of fun on all the different fairground rides whilst helping a good cause. Leo enjoyed cotton candy and a real hotdog from a hotdog stand, which he didn’t finish but Sirius was proud of him for trying. He got his face painted as a rabbit to match is much loved stuffed animal and laughed all day. Sirius had to fight the urge to reach out to Remus, it was getting harder and harder to ignore that perhaps..Dora, James and everyone else who lectured him..were right. He didn’t want to do life without Remus Lupin.

On Wednesday, he decided to take Leo out to his favourite Italian restaurant for tea. He was hoping by having a menu in front of him, Leo would chose something new and enjoy it enough to add to his limited Leo approved foods list. It was growing closer and closer to the weekend and Sirius was starting to get restless. He had received regular messages from Barty, asking how Leo was etc but he didn’t have to heart to respond. He couldn’t quite face the fact that Leo would be leaving soon and Barty felt like a taunting reminder of what was coming. He kept waking up in the morning with Leo in his bed too and he had a strong inkling that Leo was more aware of the change than he originally thought.

At the restaurant Leo unfortunately stuck to what he knew, ordering a kids bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. He looked at Sirius as if he were crazy when he started suggesting other things. Sirius ordered stone-baked pizza with peppers and cheese. They were both tucking in, when a familiar laugh sounded from across the room. Sirius’ heart shattered on the ground when he saw Remus with another man.

He had known about it, Dora had kindly given him the heads up but there was something about seeing it with his own eyes that solidified the words. It felt like everything around them froze as Remus lifted his head and caught Sirius’ devastated gaze across the room, his smile slowly disappeared as the sight of Sirius. Leo impatiently tapped on Sirius’ arm, making Sirius drag his eyes away but his heart was still in bits.

”Can I tries your pizza Uncle Siri?”

“Yes! Definitely!” Sirius beams as he picks up a slice for Leo and hands it to him.

Leo takes a small bite and pulls away in disgust, he reaches into his mouth and removes the small piece of green pepper. He looks down at the pizza, then slowly begins ripping the peppers off it. Then he eats the entire slice of pepper free pizza as Sirius picks the peppers off another slice for him so it’s ready. He didn’t have much of an appetite left anyway now and seeing Leo eating a new food was always rewarding.

”I full Uncle Siri.” Leo says, rubbing his tummy after eating half his bowl of spaghetti and two small slices of pizza.

”Ah so you don’t want ice cream for desert then?” Sirius challenges.

Leo sits up straight, “I has room in my desert tummy Uncle Siri!”

”Obviously!” Sirius smiles at him, ordering him a bowl of vanilla ice cream with a chocolate flake.

Leo hums happily around his spoon as he eats, Sirius taking another photo of him as he ends up with ice cream all around his mouth again. For some reason ice cream always created a big mess, but Sirius really didn’t mind. He steals a quick look over Leo’s head at where Remus is sat on his date. He looks beautiful in a blue button up, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows . He’s leaning forward as he talks to the other man, both of them smiling at each other and Sirius feels sick.

He knows he hasn’t any excuse for how he’s feeling or how worked up he’s getting. Remus is single. Remus can do as he pleases. It has nothing to do with Sirius who Remus shags and dates, but the jealousy is building and he hates it. He knew his ex would start dating again sooner or later but he would have preferred much later. Sirius just wants to go back to his flat now and wallow in self pity. He checks Leo’s bowl to see how long the four year old is going to be, he feels awfully twitchy as he sits there, knowing how close Remus is.

When he looks over again, Remus is already looking right back at him. He looks heartbroken, his hazel eyes filled with sorrow as he forces a small smile and turns back to his date. Sirius sort of wishes he was on a date too, even if it was only to get even with Remus.

”Done Uncle Siri!” Leo says, leaving more than half the melted ice cream in the bowl.

”Alright grab your coat, kid.” Sirius tells him as he pays the bill.

On the way out of the somewhat crowded restaurant, Leo spots Remus and let’s go of Sirius’ hand to run over to him. Sirius curses under his breath as he ducks through, trying to catch up to him but it’s too late. Leo is chatting to Remus, interrupting his date as he rambles to him excitedly.

Sirius cautiously approaches, cringing slightly as he clears his throat, ”I’m err sorry for the interruption.”

Remus glances towards Sirius briefly before he looks back at Leo, who’s telling him about losing his tooth, “and the tootfh fairy left £100 under my pillow!”

”£100?” Remus frowns, glances up at Sirius, “Why £100? Should it not be £1?”

”Oh yeah!” Leo frowns then gasps, “My tooth’s must be really really clean!”

”Must be.” Remus agrees with a soft laugh, he looks over at his date and blushes a little, “Sorry this is Teddy’s best friend, Leo and his Uncle Sirius. This is Benjy.”

Benjy? What a stupid name Sirius decides as if his wasn’t Sirius. Benjy sounded like a dogs name,at least his has charm and a uniqueness to it.

”It’s nice to meet you both.” Benjy says politely as he sips his wine.

”Nice to meet you.” Leo the traitor says.

Sirius feigns a yawn, stretching convincingly to look like he really is tired, “Come on, kid. We’ve got to go to bed.”

Leo agrees and bids his over polite farewells to Remus and his date. They’re just outside the restaurant, Sirius breathing in the cool night air when rushed footsteps sound behind him.

”Oh Sirius! Leo!” Remus calls out, making them both turn, “Don’t forget this.”

Remus holds out Leo’s bunny towards him, Leo taking it and snuggling it close, “I so sorry  Mr Bunny! Thank you Teddy’s Daddy!”

”You're welcome Leo.” Remus smiles, his eyes lingering momentarily on Sirius, “Oh, erm Dora can’t take Leo on Saturday..I’m sorry.”

Sirius rolls his eyes and steps closer, lowering his voice so Leo doesn’t hear, “I know you hate me at the moment but please don’t take it out on the kids. This is their last chance to hang out before Leo gets taken to LA. Just..bring your boyfriend if you want, just please give Leo one last day with Teddy.”

Remus hesitates, looking slightly guilty before nodding, “You’re right, sorry. I’ll bring him.”

”Thank you.” Sirius mumbles, taking Leo’s hand in his, “See you on Saturday.”

”See you..”

On Friday, Sirius would usually visit Regulus but a phone call from the prison informed him that Regulus was booked in with someone else. Sirius didn’t question it too much, he prayed Barty and Evan had some sense and were planning on taking Leo to see his Dad one more time before carting him off to LA. He was hoping he could convince Leo to start talking to Reggie on the phone, that little phone call could make such a difference to both of them if Leo wasn’t so afraid.

They decide to watch the Spider-Man cartoons when Sirius learns that Leo had only seen the live action movies. They’re snuggling together on the broken white sofa with Leos Spider-Man duvet. An assortment of different snacks and sweets are laid out on the coffee table in front of them, whilst popcorn pops in the background as it cooks. Sirius can’t stop thinking about the weekend. His last day with Leo was right around the corner and despite the happy scene playing out on the TV screen, he can’t stop the tears from falling. He never in a million years expected to get so attached to the terrified four year old left outside his flat but he had. Leo was Sirius’ entire world, his whole reason for three weeks and it was almost done.

The microwave dings loudly, indicating the popcorn is ready and Sirius lifts the blanket up and ruffles Leo’s hair as he stands. Leo laughs at him as he cuddles his bunny, his eyes glued to the action on screen. In the kitchen area, Sirius gets two bowls and starts depositing the steaming hot popcorn between them. His phone suddenly rings, the Harry Styles song Leo chose blaring loudly.

”Hello?”

”Hi, its Barty.”

Sirius’ heart sinks, “Oh hi, you alright?”

”Yeah just letting you know we will be at Reggie’s from tomorrow night.” Barty explains, “I thought maybe after the Zoo on Sunday he could come here? We’re itching to see him.”

”Oh..yeah sure.” Sirius agrees, feeling slightly dizzy, “It’ll be late though.. Zoo closes at five..I thought I’d take him out for tea afterwards.”

”That’s a good idea.. maybe we can join you?” Barty asks uncertainly, “He hasn’t seen us in a long time..maybe if we meet him in public first it might be a bit easier?”

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees, he can’t argue with that logic, “Yeah, we can meet you guys someplace for tea.”

”Cool. I’ve got to go finish packing, Evan is bitching at me for leaving it so late.” Barty laughs, “See you on Sunday.”

”See you on Sunday.” Sirius repeats back monotonously.

He sort of stands there in the kitchen, the mobile still held against his ear as an almost slow motion sickness overtakes. He really wasn’t ready for this to be the end. He really didn’t want Leo to go to LA, yet he had left it awfully late to request changes to Regulus. Barty and Evan were legally Leo’s temporary guardians..Sirius should have mentioned it. James had told him to tell Reg and yet he hadn’t listened and now…he was going to lose Leo.

”Uncle Siri?” Leo whispers, startling Sirius as he stands before him, “Was that Uncle Barty?”

Sirius nods, plastering on a fake smile, “Yeah kid, he can’t wait to see you again.”

“Do I really have to go with them?” Leo asks, twiddling his bunnies ear as he stares at Sirius with shining grey eyes.

“It was always the plan, Leo. You know that.” Sirius reminds him gently, the words tasting bitter on his tongue, “Uncle Evan and Uncle Barty were always coming to take care of you.”

Leo’s bottom lip wobbles, “Don’t you want me to stay? Was I bad Uncle Siri?”

Sirius’ whole world falls apart in that moment as Leo’s eyes fill with tears as he searches his Uncles face for some indication of what he did wrong. Sirius should have fixed it. Sirius should have found out what Leo wanted and made it happen.

”You weren’t bad at all. You’ve been the goodest boy, I am proud of you and I absolutely love being your Uncle.” Sirius explains, kneeling before him and wiping away the tears that trail down Leo’s face, “You’re wonderful and I am so lucky I got to spend three weeks with you.”

”But I wants to stay with you.” Leo sulks, his bottom lip poking out into a pout as the tears continue to fall.

”I’m sorry, kid.” Sirius says softly, I let you down he doesn’t add, as he takes Leo into his arms and hugs him tight against his chest, “I love you so much kid.”

”I love you too Uncle Siri.”

Chapter Text

Saturday rolls around much quicker than Sirius had been prepared for, it seemed like time fast forwarded and he had no time to take anything in. He felt as though he had no time to memorise his final moments with his little bestie. One minute he was sat in a restaurant on a Wednesday evening watching Remus lock eyes with another man and the next, he was using cookie cutters to create different shaped sandwiches and putting them into a picnic basket. He didn’t even own a picnic basket or picnic blanket until yesterday when himself and Leo went to the shops for picnic foods. He ensured to get all of Leo’s favourite things, determined to give him the best day with his friends. He may admittedly have gone a little overboard for Leo’s goodbye picnic but he had never done things by halves and Leo deserved the whole universe.

Its midday when Leo and Sirius are both ready to go, his Dad bag over his shoulder,the picnic basket in one hand and Leo’s hand holding his other. He wished he could have more days like this to look forward to and maybe once Regulus was home then he would. He couldn’t see his brother cutting Sirius out again, they had bonded and gotten close during his visits to the prison and Leo would want to see his Uncle again. Regulus wouldn’t do anything to hurt his son and cutting Sirius out completely would do that.

James and Lily are already there with Harry, setting up their own blanket and taking out the reusable cups and different drinks they had brought with them for everyone. James notices Sirius first, Leo clinging to him silently as he holds his bunny. He never went anywhere with the damn bunny. Harry skips over eagerly when he spots his friend and gives him a big hug, unlike Teddy, Harry was old enough to understand that Leo was leaving. They hold each other for a long moment, realising it might be the very last time they get to hug and then they run off to play together. 

“Are you okay?” James asks, his voice laced with worry.

”Fine.” Sirius nods gloomily, putting his stuff down on the ground and getting his lemon printed picnic blanket out.

James exchanges a sad look with his wife, who offers him a tight smile. Sirius was not okay, that much was clear but he would be. He always bounced back from life’s disappointments and disasters, he was strong and resilient. James was worried though, because even the strongest of men had their limits and losing Leo might just be the final straw.

Sirius is tense as he starts unpacking the picnic basket, spreading the food out but his eyes are watching Leo as he runs after Harry. He’s laughing, his little smile making Sirius’ heart leap with joy. He loved the little tyke so much and tomorrow was going to be the best last day, he had booked the VIP experience for the zoo. They would get a tour guide, be driven around to see the different animals and he would get to feed the penguins at lunchtime. Leo was going to have the best day with Sirius, he would make sure of it.

”Moony!” James greets, unable to hide his excitement, “You came!”

”Course.” Remus smiles stiffly, holding out a wrapped gift to Sirius, “We got Leo a present..I hope that’s okay?”

Sirius nods, taking the present from Remus’ outstretched hand, their fingers brushing against each other momentarily, “LEO!” He calls over, wanting to still his speeding heart and forget about his brief contact with the other man. “Teddy got you a present!”

Both Leo and Harry come speeding over, almost knocking Teddy down as they both hug him. Teddy laughs as he shoves them both away,pulling a disapproving face at them. He waits patiently for Leo to acknowledge his gift, he’s a little nervous about his friend’s reaction. Sirius hands it to Leo, and when he rips the paw patrol wrapping paper off- he freezes.

”Oh.” Leo says, holding the photo frame in his hands and brushing his fingers over the glass.

Sirius looks down over his nephews shoulder, it’s a photo of Leo with Harry and Teddy sat in a luminous orange tent with biscuits and matching toothy grins at Harry’s birthday sleepover. They look inseparable, all cuddled up closely despite all the space around them. The frame itself has best of friends engraved in the white wood and Sirius has to look away. He feels his eyes beginning to burn with tears again, it wasn’t fair but life rarely was.

’Thank you.’ Leo signs smiling and hugging Teddy again, ‘Let’s play!’

Teddy nods in agreement, watching as Leo dumps the photo frame and his bunny on the picnic blanket and runs off. He and Harry chase after him, chuckling as they attempt to catch up. Remus looks at Sirius, who’s staring down at the bunny and photo frame and can see the heartbreak in his eyes. He and James exchange knowing looks, they could only imagine how it felt and Remus didn’t particularly want to think of life without Teddy but he knew it would hurt. That he would feel like giving up. Sirius still hadn’t opened up properly and Remus had accepted that he most likely wouldn’t. But it was still clear to everyone that Leo had wormed his way into Sirius’ closed off heart. It didn’t matter what Sirius said, the walls were knocked down by the four year old the day he turned up.

“Need a hand with that?” Remus offers when he notices Sirius’ shaking hand as he tries to unpack some cupcakes.

”Please.” Sirius says, handing them to Remus as his hands continue shaking.

Remus watches unable to hide his concern, Sirius had suffered with really bad anxiety and panic attacks during their high school years and it looked like it had returned a little. Back then he would’ve held Sirius in arms, using his body weight to ground him and make him feel safe..he couldn’t do that anymore. James had noticed too, he kept looking over and silently praying Sirius would be okay. Remus and James having silent conversations with their eyes.

”Are you-“

“You didn’t bring the boyfriend.” Sirius points out, changing the subject before Remus can even ask if he’s alright.

Remus blinks at him and can’t help the startled laugh that escapes his mouth, “Benjy is not my boyfriend. I’ve only been on two dates with him.”

”Ah dates.” Sirius mumbles, “Dates are good. Lots of fun-“

”Actually..they were both kind of boring.” Remus admits with a gentle shrug, “I don’t think I’m seeing him again.”

”Really?” Sirius asks frowning, “You looked very cozy on your date-“

”Sirius.”Remus warns, “You’re the one who told me to move on, okay? I’m trying to let you go.”

”T-that’s good.” Sirius stammers, his hands shaking even more.

Remus notices and takes a hold of them, squeezing them tightly to remind Sirius and his body that he is okay. He’s here with them at the park. Usually, his anxiety would spiral and terrifying memories of his life at Grimmauld Place would resurface, but Remus held on tightly.

His hazel eyes searching Sirius’ grey ones, “You’re safe. Leo is safe-“

”I don’t want him to go.” Sirius whimpers, tears suddenly falling down his face.

Remus beckons Sirius over to the nearest bench, his hands never letting go as he sits Sirius down, “Barty and Evan are still coming for him?”

”Tomorrow.” Sirius says his voice breaking a little, “I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.”

”I just..I don’t understand Sirius.” Remus admits quietly, “You don’t want him to go..so why haven’t you told Regulus that?”

Sirius shrugs, attempting to wipe his tears on his shoulder, “Leo’s better off with them. He knows them better..”

”And what does Leo want?”

”He’s four-“

”Still knows what he wants doesn’t he? You’re telling me he does everything you say? Eats everything you tell him to? Or does he have his own mind about things?”

”Yeah but-“

”So why can’t he have an opinion on this?” Remus asks softly, “What if Leo wants to stay with you?”

”I can’t-“

Remus tuts, dropping Sirius’ hands as they stop shaking and Sirius aches for the loss. He wants Remus to keep holding his hands, keep talking to him and comforting him. He’s selfish he knows that but he can’t help it when it comes to Remus. He wants anything he can get with him.

”You did up the spare bedroom.” Remus says quietly, “Why would you do that if you knew he was leaving?”

”He deserved a nice place to sleep.” Sirius answers quickly, “A space of his own..”

”And what happens to it now?”

Sirius shrugs, twiddling nervously with his thumbs, “I thought..maybe he could sleepover sometimes..”

Remus smiles and nods, “Yeah, I think both of you would love that..”

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees, “I love him so much, Remus.”

”I can tell.”

Sirius looks up at his ex boyfriends face, the pieces falling into place like dominoes, “That’s why you left..you saw his bedroom..you put the light up.”

”I did.”

Sirius frowns, “I don’t get why you left though.”

”Because it hurt.” Remus whispers sadly, “The kids room in your flat..I know it’s not the same. I know Leo is your nephew but Sirius, it felt like stepping into a life I couldn’t have with you. It felt like I was being taunted and having it all shoved in my face. You left me because you didn’t want kids, you said you would be awful at it and there you were, being the most perfect parental figure to Leo and it hurt.”

”I never wanted to hurt you, Moony.”

”I know.”

”I let you go because I couldn’t give you the family you wanted..but..I think..maybe..” Sirius swallows thickly, “No..I mean..I know..I made a mistake.”

Remus’ face goes pale as his mind starts jumping to conclusion and his heart starts beating faster, “You..made..a..mistake?”

”I shouldn’t have left you.” Sirius whispers, “You were right. I changed my mind as I got older but I don’t regret leaving when I did.”

”Oh.” Remus breathes, sounding a bit hurt.

”If I didn’t leave, you wouldn’t have had Teddy.” Sirius points out, “I can’t imagine life without him. You were made to be his Dad.”

”Thank you..”Remus smiles shyly, “I think I’m happy you left too..like you said, Teddy wouldn’t be here otherwise..”

Sirius is about to continue and explain, he’s about to ask Remus if they can try again and take things slow. He doesn’t want to rush this because he only gets one last chance to get it all right. It isn’t just the two of them anymore and if he decides he can’t play step-Dad to Teddy, he would be breaking his little heart as well as Remus’. He refuses to hurt Teddy in any way so taking things slow is the way forward but Sirius can see it now. He can imagine life and a future so clearly with Remus, Teddy and..Leo. His heart sinks at the reminder, Leo wouldn’t be part of it and it feels wrong. Leo should be part of it. He needs to talk to Regulus.

”PADFOOT!” James yells loudly, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts. 

Sirius looks over to where James’ voice came from, the sound of it alone causing goosebumps to break out over his skin. Something is wrong. He notices the pale fearful look on James’ face as he runs toward them. Leo in his arms. Sirius is confused, he stands up in panic even though he isn’t sure what happened. James is stricken with fear and Lily is crying, but worst of all Leo is barely moving.

”HIS EPIPEN!” James screams as he gets closer, “HE NEEDS HIS EPIPEN!”

Sirius’ eyes widen as he runs over to his black Dad bag, his heart in his throat as he tips the contents out of the bag and onto the picnic blanket. He can’t find it. He turns the pockets inside out, his hands shaking more than ever as he hunts for the fucking epipen. He knew he had it. He always kept it in the same place. It was always in the same front pocket but it was gone. It wasn’t there and Leo needed it.

”I CAN’T FIND IT!” Sirius wails desperately.

Remus falls to his knees besides him and starts rummaging through the pile of shit. The spare clothes, the paw patrol plasters, the snacks, the suncream, the crayons, the colouring book and mini first aid kit but his epipen isn’t there. It’s gone. 

”Go to my car!” Remus demands, “I’ll drive you to A&E! Quick!”

James hands a slack looking Leo to Sirius, his eyes filled with tears. “I’ve got Teddy.” He tells Remus, “Just go.”

The two men run to the car, Sirius doesn’t take his eyes off Leo’s face as his lips start to turn a pale blue. Leo’s hands grab at his throat, he is clawing at it with his nails as he tries to gasp for air. Sirius somehow manages to hold it together, he doesn’t want to scare Leo even more than he already is. Sirius has never been more afraid in his entire life, he would go back and face the abuse of his parents one hundred times if it meant Leo didn’t have to experience this. He would do anything to keep Leo safe and unharmed. He sits in the backseat with Leo in his arms, holding him closely and begins talking to him. his voice wobbles slightly as he reminds Leo of all the things they’ve done over the last few weeks, reminds him about the zoo tomorrow and spoils his surprise about feeding the penguins. He just wants Leo to listen to his voice and hold on, he isn’t sure what happens if Leo closes his eyes and he doesn’t want to find out.

“S-scared.” Leo manages to say, his grey filled with tears as he looks up at Sirius.

”I got you, kid.” Sirius promises, “I’ve got you, Leo. You’re so strong and so brave, I love you. I love you so much, please keep your eyes open, okay? Just keep them open.”

Leo nods slowly as his eyes start fluttering shut, he tries to keep his eyes open. He tries to look at his Uncle Sirius, tries to listen to every word he’s saying but eventually the darkness takes over.

Sirius sobs loudly from the backseat, “Come on, Leo. Wake up!”

Remus risks his license as he speeds through red lights, narrowly missing pedestrians and a lorry. He just had the get to A&E, when he sees the sign in the distance he picks up speed. He parks in the ambulance bay, watching as Sirius runs inside holding his nephew as tears fall down his face. Remus looks to the passenger seat where Leo’s bunny is lay and throws his head into his hands, finally letting his own tears fall. Leo had to be okay, he just had to be.

Everything was like slow motion, the nurses grabbed Leo’s body out of Sirius’ arms and rushed him through the double doors. He was held back by security as they informed him that he would have to sit and wait. He didn’t want to sit and wait, he wanted to hold Leo’s hand and be right with him every step of the way. It felt like his entire world had just been turned upside down, his breathing growing more and more erratic with every tick of the clock. Today was meant to be perfect, Leo was meant to make memories with his friends before he left for LA and instead he was unresponsive in hospital. 

He feels sick, he was supposed to look after Leo and now he wasn’t breathing. He had been so careless and so stupid that he didn’t even know where the epipen was! He should have checked on a regular basis that it was in the bag but he didn’t. He just assumed everything was still in there. He assumed and it was a foolish irresponsible assumption to make. One that could cost Leo his life. How had it even happened? Sirius had ensured from day one nothing with nuts was around. All the food was nut free, he made it clear to everyone attending the picnic that nuts were forbidden. How had everything gone wrong so fast?

Remus comes rushing into the waiting area, dropping into the seat besides Sirius and when he looks up and acknowledges him properly, he sees Leo’s bunny in Remus’ hands. The silent tears don’t stop falling after that, Leo never went anywhere without his bunny and now he was in the hospital room, surrounded by strangers and didn’t even have his biggest comfort by his side. 

“He’s strong.” Remus whispers softly, resting his head against Sirius’ as he starts brushing his fingers through his hair.

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees quietly, taking Leo’s stuffed toy and holding it tight against his chest.

They don’t say anything else, they both sit together in the hospital grey and wait.

Barty is elated to finally land on British soil, he hadn’t been to the UK since they left several years prior. He looks up at the familiar cloudy grey skies, takes Evans hand in his and beams happily as he pulls their suitcase along uneven path to their awaiting Uber. Evan scowls at Barty’s happy over exaggeration, he had been mithering to come back to England for ages and now they were finally here. 

Evan much preferred the LA sunshine and after a flight lasting over 10 hours he was grumpy. Travelling wasn’t fun for him, due to his hearing problems his ears didn’t pop properly and it left him with awful ringing and headaches, meaning he would be relying on his husbands signing more than usual. It wasn’t that Barty was a bad signer, it was that Barty often lied and twisted things as a joke. It was exhausting. He just wanted to sleep away the ringing and pray it would vanish after a week.

Once they’re settled in the uber, they both switch their phones on. They both have the exact same picture of the two of them with their godson, Leo. They loved that little boy as if he were there own and it was the biggest downside to living LA. Regulus visited with Leo at least twice a year, which is more often than most people do with family in other countries but sometimes it didn’t feel like enough. 

Watching Leo grow up through photographs and video calls was painful, it was a reminder of who they left behind. When they moved to LA, Leo hadn’t been born yet but once he arrived- he changed their lives. They never thought about having children of their own and now they were in the long process of fostering. It had been a hard decision, but after weighing all of their options they liked the idea of giving second chances to troubled teens. Everyone deserves some love and guidance, even the ones who most turn their back on.

They would have stayed in the UK, at Regulus’ house until he got out in six months but they had paperwork to fill and their first teenager joining them next week. The timing was sort of awful really, but they would do anything for Regulus and Leo. It was a no brainer when Regulus contacted them and begged for help.

As soon as their phones light up, ding after ding after ding go off. Barty and Evan look at each other in utter confusion, even their Uber driver makes a comment about how popular they must be. Needing answers they start scrolling through their endless new notifications as more and more pour through.

“SHIT!” Barty curses when he realises what’s happening, “We need to go to the hospital instead!”

“On it!” The Uber driver says, quickly switching lanes as he senses the urgency in Barty’s tone.

Evan looks at Barty with fearful eyes, ‘Any update?’

’Just same. Leo is in hospital.’

Chapter Text

Remus stays. He wasn’t asked to but he wasn’t told to leave either. Even now when Leo is awake and Sirius is holding him in the hospital bed, snuggling him and brushing Leo’s black curls with his fingers. He stays. Leo is wearing a hospital gown that drowns his tiny body whilst being attached to all sorts of drips and he’s so tired but all he wants is Sirius. He clings to his Uncle, his stuffed bunny between them both. Sirius hasn’t looked at his phone for hours, Remus has been actively updating their friends and waiting for the moment Regulus finds out something happened.

He needs to go home, it’s Saturday and his night with Teddy but as he looks at Sirius and Leo he feels like he can’t. So when James offers to have Teddy for the night again, he accepts gratefully and decides he will take Monday off work and spend the day with Teddy to make up for it. He just can’t leave Sirius in this state. 

Leo’s cheeks are puffy, his eyes slightly swollen and he has a red rash covering him from head to toe. He’s too afraid to go to sleep. He had already told Sirius he was scared incase he couldn’t breathe and despite the rules against it, Sirius got into bed with him and held him close. Remus can see that Leo is losing the battle to remain awake, sleepiness taking over but he’s really trying.

Sirius’ eyes are red and blood shot, the sad glisten in them remains as he plants kisses on the top of his nephews forehead. It was the scariest thing that had ever happened to him. He really thought Leo was going to die under his watch, in his care and it was exactly the kind of thing to put him off again. He knew he wasn’t cut out for the Dad thing. He can’t believe he was stupid enough to assume something so important would be where it should be. It wasn’t like Leo’s bunny that could easily be misplaced without dire consequences, it was something that made all the difference to Leo’s allergies and it wasn’t there.

James had tripled checked after they sped off, the epipen was nowhere to be found. He also checked all the foods, read all the ingredients and found no traces of nuts. Both himself and Lily were so stressed out trying to find the trigger. Harry was absolutely adamant that Leo had eaten something, because another child on the park (that they did not know) was sharing her snacks with all of them. Unfortunately, Teddy confirmed what Harry was saying but whoever she was had left already with her family. Sirius knew he was going to have to remind Leo not to take food from strangers or at least let him- no, Barty or Evan check the ingredients first.

Leo is finally starting to drift off, Sirius looks relieved because Leo needs to sleep off the day and let his body rest properly. Remus is scrolling aimlessly on his phone, almost dropping it when the door flies open. Leo jumps out of his skin, his heart quickening and then immediately relaxes when he sees who it is. He offers them a sleepy smile, as his two Uncles make themselves known.

”What the fuck happened!?” Barty demands, panic slapped across his face as he looks between Remus, Sirius and Leo.

Evan slips around his husband, going to Leo’s bedside and signing to Leo. He appeared much calmer than Barty was, Barty was shaking with anger and fear. Evan just wanted to make sure Leo was okay first.

’Are you okay lion?’

Too tired to lift his hands to sign back, Leo nods against Sirius’ chest and when Evan reaches out a hand to stroke curls out of his face, Leo takes hold of it and squeezes. Sirius sees the tears in Evan’s blue eyes and he knows Leo is in safe hands with the two of them. They cared about and loved Leo just as much as he did, if not more.

“How did it happen?” Barty asks, much calmer after seeing Leo nod.

”We’re not sure.” Remus answers, sensing Sirius was too ashamed to talk, “Harry said Leo accepted a snack of another child at the park and yeah..”

”I’m sorry.” Leo whispers croakily, “I didn’t mean to be bad.”

Sirius stops stroking Leo’s hair and immediately starts shaking his head. He meets Leo’s eyes so Leo knows Sirius means every single word. “You’re not bad Leo. You did nothing wrong kid.”

“Does Reggie know what happened?” Barty asks, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip.

”We’ve been trying to get hold of him.” Sirius explains, the ability to talk back now he had to comfort Leo. It was amazing how Leo managed to bring him back out of his own head.

Leo looks worried, “Daddy going to be cross with Leo.”

Barty shakes his head this time, coming closer to the bed to crouch besides him, “No he’s not. Your Daddy will just be happy you’re okay and safe. Like Uncle Sirius said, you did nothing wrong.”

Sirius watches silently as Barty reassures Leo, he can almost feel Leo disappearing from Sirius and taking comfort in Barty and Evan instead. He hates how much it hurts. He hates that he feels jealous but it’s for the best. Barty and Evan would never be as stupid as to risk Leo’s safety with assumptions. He could tell already just how much the two of them doted on Leo and how much Leo loved them. Leo would be in better hands with Barty and Evan. Sirius was the one who let him down. No one else.

Leo reaches out for Evan and Sirius feels his heart sink. He smiles awkwardly at the two men as he loosens his own grasp and lets Leo be lifted carefully into Evans arms. He watches Leo with them, forcing a smile as he tries to stop tears from filling his eyes. They look like a little family together, Leo just slotted right in with the two of them. Barty was ensuring Leo’s drip didn’t tug as Evan held him and kissed the tip of his nose, making him giggle.

”We missed you so much.” Barty tells him, ruffling Leo’s hair.

”You still has a horse?” Leo asks curiously. 

Barty nods, “Yeah, you remember his name?”

”Um..” Leo frowns, “Flash?”

”Thats right.” 

Leo smiles happily, “I loves horses! Neigh!”

Sirius stands, excusing himself as his chest starts tightening and as he leaves the room he notices his hands are shaking again. Leo could have died today and Sirius would have lost him for good. He’s lucky they got to the hospital in time, he’s grateful to every nurse and doctor that saved Leo’s life but he will never forgive himself for what happened. It was too close of a call and Regulus would kill him for being so reckless, that’s if one of Leo’s other Uncle’s didn’t murder him first. 

Remus excuses himself, Leo offering him a high five as he walks past which he accepts with a chuffed smile. Leo was such a resilient kid, it was remarkable how he managed to bounce back from something so terrifying. Remus knows Sirius won’t be able to erase Leo’s pale blue lips or the rasps of his voice as he tried to breathe though. He knows Sirius will be running everything over and over in his head, wondering what he could have done differently and torturing himself over the location of his epipen.

Sirius heads into the men’s loos, running the taps and splashing cold water over his head to ground himself. It helped a little, the shaking of his hand slowed a little and he was able to focus a little better on his breathing. He hadn’t had a panic attack in years and he was determined not to start having them again now but his heart felt crushed beneath the weight of expectations and life.

”Pads?”

Moony approaches slowly, his hazel brown eyes filled with sadness as Sirius stares at his reflection and tries to recognise himself. He never thought a child would cause him this much internal pain and fear. He didn’t want to let Leo go, that much was obvious but it was clear that Leo was safer without him.

”Oh, er hi.” Sirius says when he spots Remus, having not heard him when he came in.

”Are you okay?”

Sirius forces a smile and nods as he turns the tap off, “Never better.”

”Sirius-“

”I’m parched. Did you see a vending machine anywhere?” Sirius asks, his eyebrows raised.

Remus nods silently, grabbing onto his ex boyfriends arm as he tries to walk past, “Don’t do this. Don’t shut down again.”

”Damn Moons, I just wanted to grab a drink.” Sirius jokes, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

Remus can sense that it’s a battle he won’t win, he can feel Sirius slipping through his fingers again and there’s nothing he can do. He watches hopelessly as Sirius leaves the bathroom, unsure of how he can help or what he can do. He was so sure Sirius was ready to give them another shot at the park, he was positive that’s where the conversation was heading as Sirius had called dumping him a mistake. He couldn’t believe he was losing Sirius again, he couldn’t believe it hurt just as much as last time and this time they weren’t even together!

He takes some time to recompose himself before heading back to Leo’s hospital room. He’s sat on Barty’s knee, curled up against him watching as Evan signs to him about Peter Pan. He giggles at the expression on Evan’s face, then lifts his head to see who was standing by the door. He looks a little disappointed to see Remus as he was expecting his Uncle Sirius to come back.

”Sirius not back?” Remus frowns, looking at Leo’s deflated pout.

Barty shakes his head, tickling Leo’s side and making his snort with laughter, “This one won’t go to sleep until Sirius tucks him in.”

”He went to get a drink, I don’t think he will be long.” Remus explains, “I just came to say goodnight, I’m going to head off and get from under your feet.”

”You’re not in the way.” Barty insists, “Might help Sirius if his boyfriend-“

”I’m not his boyfriend.” Remus clarifies, “I just rushed them to the hospital in my car that’s all.”

Barty frowns, Sirius and Remus had been the most envied couple at school. “Right my bad..”

”Where Uncle Siri?” Leo asks, starting to get cranky for his sleep.

”If I bump into him I’ll tell him to come back.” Remus says.

He is a little startled when Leo holds out his arms to him. He obliges and scoops him up in his arms, letting the small arms wrap around his neck, minding none of his wires get tangled and caught.

”Bye Teddy’s daddy.” Leo whispers against his ear, “Tell Teddy I miss him.”

”Teddy will miss you too.” Remus assures him, blinking away tears as he hands Leo back to Barty.

Sirius stands in the doorway, his stomach flipping as he witnesses Remus and Leo cuddling. It’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. His heart hurts at the same time because Remus was so accepting of Leo, so understanding of him and yet, Sirius had run from Teddy.

Barty notices Sirius and sighs with relief, “Leo won’t sleep without you with him.”

Remus smiles and waves at Leo, dozily walking right into Sirius and stumbles a little. He feels his cheeks flush with embarrassment, a small awkward smile on his face as he dances around his ex, knowing he wouldn’t be seeing Sirius again until Christmas time now. It hurt but he had to let it go.

Sirius finds Remus so endearing as he trips into Sirius and blushes but as he goes to say goodnight, Remus swiftly moves out of the door with his head hung low. He doesn’t understand, they were friends weren’t they? He thought they moved past what happened between them..then realised just like him, Remus never would.

”Uncle Siri!” Leo snaps impatiently.

”Sorry kid, I’m coming.” He says, breaking out of his Remus induced trance and scooping the four year old out of Barty’s arms.

He settles on the bed with him, Leo clinging onto him tightly as he rests his head against Sirius’ chest, his bunny close by as his eyes flutter shut.

”The nurse tell me I can’t go to zoo tomorrow.” Leo sulks sleepily, yawning afterwards.

Sirius feel his heart break as he glances up at Barty for confirmation and the man nods with an apologetic look on his face. Sirius swallows as he tries to fight back his tears, tomorrow was meant to be their perfect last day together. 

“Well, when you visit me with your Daddy, I’ll take you both to the zoo instead.” Sirius says, smiling despite the pain in his chest.

”Ands we feed the penwings?” Leo mumbles, close to passing out.

”Absolutely.” Sirius vows, stroking Leo’s soft black curls as his tiny snores finally fill the hospital room.

Sirius feels like he’s going to nod off too until he remembers Barty and Evan are there, he peels his eyes open to look at them. They’re both staring at him with an unreadable expression on their faces, he moves slowly not wanting to disturb Leo and looks at them fully.

”Why are you both looking at me like that?”

”He absolutely adores you.” Barty smiles fondly, his eyes watching over Leo as he breathes.

Sirius shrugs, “and you..both. He’s lucky to have so many Uncles who love him, right?”

”Yeah.” Barty agrees, signing for Evan to help him keep up.

Realising his mistake, Sirius sits up and gently slides Leo out of his arms and onto the soft white pillow. He gets Evan’s attention, Barty frowning at him with irritation as he thinks Sirius will take the piss but his face flickers with surprise when Sirius starts speaking again but signs too. Evan looks shocked whilst Sirius smiles knowingly.

‘How do you know BSL?’

’I learnt for Remus’ son.’

“He loves you.” Barty states raising his eyebrow, “Remus I mean..”

Sirius shrugs timidly, he wasn’t about to have this conversation with his brothers best friends. He would rather keep his love life private especially when said love wasn’t going to go anywhere anymore.

”I’m really sorry for what happened today.” Sirius says as he signs for Evan, “It should never have happened. I should have done better-“

”You aren’t to blame.” Barty interrupts, Evan nodding in agreement, “These kind of things happen.”

’Not worst one.’

“He’s had worse allergic reactions than that?” Sirius asks in disbelief.

“Yeah when he was about two, we had all gone to the beach and he had an ice cream. We didn’t know it had nuts in it, but Leo...it was really bad. We didn’t know about his allergy then, we didn’t know what was happening and he was so much smaller that the reaction happened in seconds.” Barty explains, “Reg was besides himself with guilt for months after that.”

”It wasn’t his fault!” Sirius insists, “He didn’t know!”

”Its not your fault either.” Barty smiles with a nod, “No one is at fault. It’s just a shitty thing that happened.”

Sirius bites his lip, “Do you err..think Reggie will see it like that or will he blame me?”

”He won’t blame you.” Barty says, “He will thank you for getting him here on time.”

The door opening causes all three men to stop talking and turn to see whoever it is, a nurse is standing side by side with a woman in a black suit. She has her hair slicked back in a bun, a large brown shoulder bag and glasses perched on the end of her nose.

”Sorry to interrupt, my name is Danielle Sutton, I’m from child services.” She says, her heels clicking on the tiles as she comes closer, “Who is the legal guardian of Leo Black?”

”Regulus-“

”Sorry, let me rephrase that, who has been granted temporary custody and is therefore the legal guardian of Leo Black?” Danielle repeats with a clipped tone.

“That would be them.” Sirius says indicating towards Barty and Evan, “I’m his Uncle..he was with me when-“

”Right well, only legal guardians are permitted to be in the hospital with the patient so I suggest you leave.” She says shortly, her eyebrow arched in annoyance as she turns to look at the married men, “We have a lot to get through.”

Barty and Evan look alarmed at the woman’s tone of voice and her distasteful attitude but Sirius is too drained to care. The married couple were about to sign forms granting them temporary custody of Leo, permission for them to take Leo wherever they pleased and whenever they wanted. Sirius was officially cut out. He can sense the woman’s impatience as he leans over Leo’s sleeping body and kisses his forehead softly. Leo murmurs a little in his sleep, a small smile on his lips as he cuddles against his bunny.

”I love you, kid.” Sirius whispers before he forces himself to walk away.

When he returns to his flat without Leo is feels more lonely and empty than ever. He can feel the haunting presence of his nephew the second he steps inside the flat. A few months ago the silence of his home would’ve been bliss but now it makes him ache. Somehow he finds the strength to feed the cats, but Nox doesn’t come running out the bedroom for her food like normal. She can probably sense the loss too.

He flicks the switch on, realising he’s doing everything backwards, barely able to function without Leo around to keep him on his toes. It’s like all the happiness has been sucked out of him and he’s left with nothing but numbness. He knows Leo is in good and capable hands, it’s only temporary until Regulus gets out and then Leo will be back in the UK. He isn’t sure if Reggie will want him near Leo again, not after todays events so he won’t dare hope. If he lets his brain runaway with itself and create little fantasies, he will only wind up disappointed.

His heart stops when he catches sight of the black nail polish staining his sofa, he chuckles softly at the memory. After that first day, Leo had insisted on having his nails done all the time and even took inspiration from Harry Styles, letting Sirius do little smiley faces although it was extra tricky on such small nails. He sees the tiny handprints on the glass doors to the balcony and he feels tears filling his eyes. He laughs when he sees the state of his once beautiful fluffy white rug beneath his feet, slightly blurred from unshed tears but he can see all the different coloured splotches from leaked pens and Leo going out of the lines when colouring perfectly. Sirius sort of falls to the floor, his arms wrapped around himself as the tears continue to fall. He had never experienced anything so painful in all his life, it felt as if all his nerve endings were on fire and he felt like he could be sick. He wouldn’t wish this on his worst enemy and that said a lot.

He knows he doesn’t want Leo to go to LA, but what could he do? Leo nearly died under his care and under his watch- that was unforgivable. He really doesn’t want Leo to go to LA though, it was so so far away. He doesn’t even want Leo to leave the flat, let alone the country. The flat was Leo’s home too now, there were bits and pieces of Leo in every single room. Sirius felt like he needed Leo like he needed the air around him to breathe. Leo was his family. He got it now. He understood what his friends had been banging on about. Leo was his entire world and he would have to live without him.

Sirius isn’t sure when he stood and raided the fridge, it was still filled with Leo’s snacks and it made him tear up again. He found what he was looking for, grabbing the entire crate of beers and taking them to the still broken sofa to drink. He turns the TV on, flicking aimlessly through the channels and settles on live action Peter Pan. He wonders if Leo has ever seen this version, and proceeds to sob into his beers as he watches the lost boys in neverland. Eventually, Nox curls up besides him on the sofa, letting him cry into her black fur and six beers later, he falls asleep- wishing for this awful day to have been some sort of nightmare.

Chapter Text

Sirius wakes up at six am on the dot, he frowns when he realises where he fell asleep and as he sits up he feels a horrible cramp in his neck from where he was laying in an awkward heap. It takes a moment for reality to come crashing down on him, the memories of yesterday resurfacing. He was supposed to take Leo to the zoo today, but instead his nephew was in hospital for observation with his legal guardians. He was actually really looking forward to going to the zoo, he had never been before. He didn’t have that kind of childhood, he missed out on all kinds of things and then as an adult he didn’t really see the point until Leo came along. Sirius knew Leo would enjoy feeding the penguins and seeing the animals, he could imagine the childish rush of seeing all your favourite animals in one place and he was really looking forward to it. Now, he was sat in the flat by himself unable to get off the sofa.

Leo had been his daily motivation for many things, including making breakfast and not lazying around in bed all day but Leo wasn’t there anymore. There was sweet fuck all Sirius could do, he notices the empty beers on the floor and sighs, knowing his life is going backwards. Next weekend, he would be partying and bringing home random men again except this time he was going to feel more empty than ever.

He curls back up, the sofa creaking a little before it jolts and thuds, breaking a bit more but Sirius can’t find it in himself to care. He closes his eyes and he tries his absolute hardest to fall back asleep. He screws his eyes tighter and tighter, covers his eyes with his arm but nothing works. He’s awake and he feels like he should be doing something. Usually he would be having a cuddle with Leo before they went and made breakfast and now he was all alone, even the cat had fucked off at some point. He lays in the same spot, unmoving as the sun rises and breaks through the balcony doors and he knows he should shower and change out of yesterdays clothes but he’s never felt so low and he can’t find the strength to move. He just wants to lie there and wallow for the rest of his life.

He feels like he’s lost everything in a matter of hours, Leo and his future with Remus and Teddy. He was ready to take that chance and face his fears but life showed him once again why Leo, Remus and Teddy were all better off without him. He was so fucking careless and stupid. His phone starts buzzing repeatedly somewhere but he cannot be arsed to move. When it starts ringing, once then twice then three times, panic sets in. Leo is still in the hospital and if something happened, he wanted to know. He forces himself to get up, tripping over one of the empty beer bottles and then he spots it. Poking out ever so slightly from underneath the coffee table is Leo’s epipen and he feels sick. How did he not notice it before? How did it even get there? He feels the overwhelming surge of guilt and then vomit crawling up his throat.

He manages to get to the bathroom in time, throwing up into the toilet bowl and heaving dryly afterwards. He shouldn’t have drunk the beers last night, that much was obvious. He makes his way to the overcrowded bathroom sink, noticing Leo’s red paw patrol toothbrush and tearing up instantly. He shoves his emotions down, grabbing his own to rid the taste of vomit, beer and morning breath. When he catches sight of himself in the mirror, he grimaces in disgust. He prided himself on his appearance but looking after Leo had aged him drastically, he had never looked so exhausted in his life. There’s a positive he thinks bitterly, he can have his beauty sleep back.

After washing his face and doing something with his hair, he goes to hunt for his phone as it continues to buzz insistently. Something was clearly going on and the more it buzz the more anxious he became. He feels horribly guilty when he sees the missed calls from the prison, Regulus had obviously tried to get hold of him and used his points to make two unanswered phone calls. It might be for the best though, Sirius really couldn’t handle a lecture from Reg right now. He felt awful enough without hearing the pain in Reggie’s voice over his son’s safety and health. 

His phone buzzes yet again, he clicks onto the marauders group chat with the intention of muting and his heart stops racing. He stares down at the photo Peter shared of himself holding a tiny newborn baby. Naturally everyone is freaking out, Peter had officially join the Dad club and the babies were early.

wormy: meet Annabelle <3 *attached 1 image*

prongs: omg omg im gonna cry

prongs: congrats guys!!!!

moony: congratulations Pete. She’s adorable!

wormy: her sister Darcy is in the nicu atm

prongs: she okay?

wormy: too early to tell I haven’t seen her yet I’m gonna head down in a bit when wendy can get in wheelchair

prongs: are they identical twins?

wormy: not really no

pads: do you need anything? 

pads: I ain’t got leo anymore so lmk if you need anything bringing from yours

pads: congrats btw

prongs: you haven’t got leo????

pads: Barty and Evan got legal custody yesterday 

Sirius should have known James would start calling him. James should have known Sirius wasn’t in the mood to answer. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to open up or start discussing feelings. He just wanted to be left alone. He mutes his phone, stopping anymore calls from going through and ignores the texts coming from his best friend too. He was fine. He was dealing with it.

He almost misses the text from Peter, nearly losing it in the spam off James but he opens it up. Hoping he can be useful and do something with his day but what he isn’t expecting is an actual day trip to Liverpool. It’s the perfect distraction though and Sirius jumps at the chance to help his friend. He hadn’t always been the nicest friend to Pete when they were younger but as the got older, Sirius and Peter were oftentimes the last two standing when James and Remus had their Dad duties and they managed to develop a somewhat stronger friendship as a result.

wormy: hi I know this is a huge ask but would you be able to bring my birth certificate to Liverpool? I thought I had it with me and I need it to register the births ASAP. Don’t tell the others. I’m not ready to explain or talk about what’s happening yet. No worries if not, I’ll jump on a train when I can.

pads: yeah I can do that!! Where about is it?

wormy: legend thank you so so much!!! It’s in the bottom drawer and in my room should be in a folder of documents :/ if not then I think the kitchen junk drawer :/

pads: haha don’t worry I’ll find it mate 

Peter has no idea how much he’s just helped Sirius by giving him something to do and distract his mind with. What was about to be the hardest Sunday of his life was about to be extremely hectic and he couldn't be more grateful. He feeds the cat, quickly changes clothes and drowns himself in deodorant before leaving his flat for the day. He was going to retrieve the birth certificate and fuck off to Liverpool, out of the way of all reminders and depressing thoughts. He was quite frankly, a genius. 

He pulls into Peters driveway on his motorbike, enjoying his moment of freedom. He hadn’t been able to use it in a few weeks and he missed the way it felt to glide in and out of traffic. He parks right by the front door, dumping his helmet on the seat. Peter kept a spare key hidden underneath the plant pot by his front door, which Sirius found incredibly unsafe and borderline psychotic but extremely helpful right now.

The small and modest two bedroom home was eerie, from the moment he stepped inside he could tell that Peter and Wendy had not been home for awhile. Everything was just as they left it. Sirius decides to check the kitchen junk drawer first, knowing Peter it would definitely be in there of all places as he wasn’t the most organise. The kitchen is spotless aside from a mug in the sink and clean dishes on the drainer, they had clearly been in the middle of doing pots when they had rushed to the hospital. Sirius isn’t sure what happened, he selfishly didn’t pay attention and now he wishes that he had. 

As he looks around the kitchen, he notices a single high chair by the window. He doesn’t think much of it, babies didn’t use high chairs straightaway so maybe they had just put the one together to see what it would look like. After checking the junk drawer thoroughly, he decides to head upstairs. Sirius had never been upstairs in Wormtail’s house before, there was never any reason to so he isn’t sure which of the closed doors on the landing is actually his room.

Sirius takes his chances and opens the first door in front of him, he stills in the doorway when he sees a pale pink bedroom with a cherry blossom wall decal. There’s a changing table with a pink blossom changing mat, a rocking chair with a pink throw and a unicorn teddy. There’s a soft circular rug in the centre and a pale pink curtains..it’s very pink and very girly…but the thing that makes him stop dead in his tracks, is the fact there is only one cot.

He thought the singular high chair was easy enough to explain but he can’t explain the one cot. There were two babies, twin girls so where was the other one? He frowns deciding to close the door, that’s when he notices the door has a pink sign that says Annabelle. Sirius glances at the remaining two doors, one was definitely the bathroom and the other had to be Wormtail’s bedroom..he just didn’t understand why the other twin didn’t have her name on the door too.

Finding Peter’s bedroom, he sees one pale pink Moses basket amongst all the grey and he knows for absolute certain that something has to be wrong. Why had they only prepared for one baby? Was only one baby coming home? Surely Peter would have said something if that was the case..

Sirius yanks open the bottom drawer and finds the folder with Peter’s birth certificate. He really does try to ignore the endless booklets about pregnancy, newborns and grief but he can’t. He picks one up, it shows a pregnant woman cradling her stomach but the title reads ‘Preparing for the worst’. He feels sick as he starts rummaging through them, finding different ones about poorly babies and unexpected illness in infants. Peter had been keeping it to himself, putting on a brave face and acting like all was well..when..clearly it wasn’t. Sirius knows he hasn’t always been the greatest friend, especially when child talk came up but this wasn’t a story of Harry riding a bike or Teddy cutting his own hair.. this was Peter’s sick child and he wanted to be there for that. He wanted to support Peter and Wendy any way he could.

He wastes no time, dropping a text to inform Peter he found the birth certificate. He was going to deliver it the same day, he abandoned his motorbike and grabbed a taxi to the train station. The entire journey he stares out of the window, watching the trees pass him by and wondered how he could possibly help Peter and his family. He wanted to do something, he just didn’t know what. He didn't really understand what was going on with the twins but the way they had prepared the nursery told him everything. 

It takes him two hours to arrive in Liverpool, he heads straight to the hospital in an Uber, determination in his bones to do this one helpful thing for Pete. He has an idea on how to support the new family but he knows Peter and Wendy will both decline any sort of monetary help. That's what Sirius knew best though, it's how he showed his love for people. He showered them with gifts and money, expressing he knew them with things they liked or wanted. He isn't very good with physical affection or words but presents he can do good. He hopes he can convince the couple to accept somehow.

He drops Peter a text when he’s at the main entrance, he didn’t know where he was going and he didn’t like hospitals at all after his experience yesterday with Leo. Peter’s appearance takes Sirius by total surprise when he spots him. His blonde hair is sticking up and despite being a Dad for just over twenty-four hours, the poor man looks as though he’s aged fifty years. He’s wearing a dirty hoodie with blue denim jeans and a ripped pair of old converse, he smiles sadly when he spots Sirius and Sirius feels that all too familiar sadness twisting in his gut.

”Here’s your birth certificate.”‘Sirius says getting it out of his pocket, “You alright?”

Peter takes it and nods, “Cheers mate. Sorry it was such a trek, do you want some money-“

”Nah.” Sirius declines, waving him off with his hand, “I’m the richest friend we have.” He jokes, “You got time for a coffee though? I need to talk to you about something?”

”Oh..um..yeah…”Peter hesitates frowning slightly.

”We don’t have to leave the hospital.” Sirius quickly says, “I wouldn’t expect you to do that.

”Cheers.”Peter breathes out in relief, “The hospital coffee isn’t that great though.”

”Coffee is coffee.” Sirius shrugs, “Lead the way.”

Peter was right, the coffee was far too gritty and tasted like utter crap. He didn't finish it and was kind of annoyed he didn't get a soft drink like Peter. They sat in silence as they drank, Peter evidentially twitching nervously as Sirius tried to think of how best to approach his concerns. He used to get told he was always poking his nose where it wasn't wanted but he couldn't help it, especially where his friends were concerned. He just wanted them all to be okay.

”You can ask.” Peter says eventually, looking up from the table to meet Sirius’ eyes, “It’s alright.”

”You only have one cot.” Sirius blurts out, “I don’t..you have twins but..only one of well…everything?”

Peter nods and smiles tightly as he furrows his eyebrows together. “We were told to expect the worst when it came to Darcy. She’s got a whole bunch of disabilities and..we were told she wouldn’t make it through birth as she would be shocked.. her heart wouldn’t be able to handle it.” Peter swallows, his eyes filling with tears, “But she did it, Sirius, she’s alive. She’s in the Nicu and she’s okay..”

”That’s good? Right? She’s..”

”She needs an operation, they’re going to wait as long as they can but it’ll be a lot for her. She’s only a newborn and..she’s already fighting for her life.” Peter whispers, “Its terrifying Padfoot, I don’t know..I can’t..”

Sirius feels absolutely useless as Peter starts crying, there isn’t a whole lot he can do and offering money seems kind of insensitive. He sits quietly, sipping his horrid coffee and trying to process. The idea of a tiny baby having an operation is incomprehensible, it’s crazy that someone so little and so new to the world would need something so big to survive.

”What..”

”Congenital heart disease.” Peter runs his hands over his face and sighs, “It’s going to be a lot of tests and monitoring for the next few months but..I sound like such a bad person when I say I don’t want to get my hope up. We didn’t even name her until she was born, we had Anna’s name chosen already but we didn’t want to get attached to Darcy…then we actually saw her and realised we were already attached even if we tried to avoid it.”

”Oh Pete.” Sirius murmurs sympathetically, he sort of gets it.

When Leo was in the hospital it was the scariest and most heartbreaking thing he ever experienced. He couldn’t imagine how much worse it must feel when it’s your own child. Peter leans across the table and shows Sirius a photo on his phone of a tiny newborn in an incubator with all kinds of wires and tubes attached to her little body. She has a small pink knitted hat on and her skin is yellow, tiny bruises cover the areas where she’s been poked and prodded. Sirius wishes he could fix it somehow, no one deserved to go through something like that.

”They think there’s more wrong with her..they just aren’t sure what yet.” Peter says, taking the phone back and smiling down at the photo of his daughter.

”There’s nothing wrong with her.” Sirius defends quickly, “She’s just Darcy isn’t she? Being different doesn’t mean wrong..”

Peter looks up towards Sirius, a surprised expression in his eyes as he smiles and nods, “Yeah…” He agrees slowly, “Thanks Pads.”

Peter pauses for a moment opening and closing his mouth like a fish a little as he tries to find the courage to voice what’s on his mind. Just like the other marauders, he is worried about Sirius and yeah, right now his focus should be on his girls but he had seen the difference in his friend from afar. Leo had changed Sirius’ life for the better and he couldn’t just let it slide.

”Leo should be with you.” Peter says after a long pause, “I know you’re hurting and you don’t want to hear it, but Leo should be with you.”

”Pete-“

”No just listen to me please?” Peter begs, “You had one accident with Leo, one that you will ensure never happens again. Is one accident worth Leo going to LA? Can you really handle not being with him?”

Sirius bites his lip, “I..I don’t..”

”Barty and Evan will be far too busy to give you updates. You’ll be wondering if Leo is okay all the bloody time..”

”Shit.” Sirius mumbles in realisation, “Shit..”

”What are you going to do about it?” Peter asks, his hands clasped together on the table, “You going to let him go to LA? Or are you going to fight for what you want? Reg..he will probably want his son in the UK too…”

Sirius nods slowly in agreement as his brain catches up with what Peter is saying. Regulus absolutely would prefer Leo to be close by and if Leo was with Sirius..well, Sirius could take Leo to visit his Dad every single week. He could finally take him to the zoo as promised and his Spider-Man room would get some use and Sirius would get to have his little bestie by his side every single day until Regulus was freed.

He couldn’t let Barty and Evan just take him away to a foreign country. He didn’t even know anyone over there, all his friends were here and his cats. Sirius still had so much he wanted to show and teach Leo, so many places he wanted to take Leo to visit and see. He wanted more rude awakenings at six am, he wanted more time sat on the sofa watching Paw Patrol or Spider-Man and he wanted to hear more of the funny shit Leo came out with during a disagreement. Their time could not be over yet…Sirius had to fight for him.

”I-I’ve got to go.” Sirius stands up abruptly, “I have to stop this! You’re right!”

”I usually am.” Peter nods humbly, “On that note..don’t forget about Moony and Teddy.. you deserve to be happy Pads. You all do.”

Sirius ruffles Peter’s blonde hair and smacks his lips on his sweaty forehead, “I love you Wormtail! You’re the best!”

Peter chuckles and rolls his eyes as Sirius starts rushing out of the hospital cafe, waving goodbye frantically with both of his hands. He really did want Sirius to have the happiest of lives, god knows he deserved it. It was about damn time Sirius realised and believed that too.

Chapter Text

When Leo wakes up on Sunday morning, he feels drained and tired after all the events of the previous day. Barty and Evan notice when his eyes flicker open and he stretches sleepily, he had slept in until 10am, having a few extra hours will have done him the world of good. His face is screwed up in a sleepy frown as he looks around the hospital room, he was so used to waking up at Uncle Sirius’ place that the change in environment is a little scary. It’s even more scary when he notices Uncle Sirius isn’t there too.

”Morning sleepyhead.” Barty grins, bending down to pick up Leo’s bunny that had fallen on the floor.

Leo narrows his eyes and snatches the bunny back, “Not sleepyhead.”

Barty laughs softly and shakes his head, of course Leo had no idea how long he had been sleeping for but his Uncle’s were relieved to see his face wasn’t as swollen and puffy anymore. The worst of his allergic reaction was over. Leo holds his bunny against his chest, his eyes feeling heavy with sleep but he refuses to be a sleepyhead. He sits up instead, turning his head and changing angles to see if Uncle Sirius is hiding somewhere as a joke. Uncle Sirius liked to play jokes sometimes, he would hide in the flat and jump out at him. Sirius thinking he was funny but Leo found it exhausting.

“You ready for some breakfast?” Barty asks him as Leo tries to peak under the chair Evan is sitting on from his hospital bed.

”Where Uncle Siri?” Leo asks with soft frown, creasing his forehead.

Barty presses his lips together, “He went home, but he will be back here soon.”

Leo nods in understanding, slightly disappointed that his favourite Uncle wasn’t at the boring hospital with him. He wanted his morning cuddles with Sirius and for Sirius to get him breakfast afterwards like he always did. Leo liked the routine he had with Sirius, he liked knowing what was happening and what was coming next. Being at the hospital meant he didn’t know what was happening and it was very difficult for him to follow along.

Uncle Siri was the best at talking Leo through things, especially when plans were changing or they were doing something new. It made Leo feel safe and confident to face the day ahead, rather than nervous at the unexpected. Sirius had a way of always making sure Leo felt good about things but he wasn’t feeling good right now. He didn’t like the hospital much, but Barty and Evan were with him and Barty said Sirius would be back soon.

He tries to do things the best he can, he uses his listening ears and doesn’t cry when the catheter is removed from his arm even though it’s sharp and makes him bleed a little bit. When a nurse brings him some toast to eat, he tries his best but he gets scared about what happened at the park. She was a stranger and giving him a snack just like the girl yesterday.

Barty really didn’t think he was lying. It was logical that Sirius would return and see their nephew. The child had been living with him for three weeks and they had got attached to one another. He figured Sirius might bring Leo a change of clothes and some of his favourite snacks so he could eat those instead of the horrible hospital jelly and dry toast. Both himself and Evan had been checking their phones for messages off Sirius as Leo slept on and off throughout the day. He was absolutely knackered, his little body working extra hard to help him get better. As lunch time approached, Evan had text him a few times to see where he was at, whilst Barty attempted to convince Leo to eat.

Leo didn’t like the hospital food, it was sloppy cottage cheese and it looked horrible. He pushed it around his plate with his fork and looked up at his Uncle’s,shaking his head in a clear no. Leo had his favourite foods and he wanted his sandwich with the nice butter or turkey dinosaurs or meatballs and spaghetti. He did not want…this.

”You need to eat Leo.” Barty tells him, glancing at the plate and knowing full well he wouldn’t ever touch it either.

When Leo refuses again, Evan takes the plate away and decides to go hunt for something a little more appetising for the four year old. He had barely eaten his toast that morning so he must be hungry by now and Evan could not blame him for not eating the slop. He knew there was a supermarket around the corner, he would just grab an assortment of snacks as they had no access to a cooker but as long as Leo ate something he really wasn’t bothered.

Barty’s phone ringing startles him and Leo sits up straighter, he thinks maybe Sirius is calling to let him know he’s on his way. He’s so excited to see his Uncle Siri, that he starts wriggling on the bed and using his hand to make the bunny jump up and down. He thought Sirius was really cross at him but now he was looking forward to Sirius coming to the hospital and getting lots of hugs from him and maybe Sirius could tell him another Peter Pan story! However, he freezes when he hears Barty speak and his eyes widen with worry.

”Hey Reggie.” Barty says, a small sigh passing his lips.

Leo swallows nervously, he had recently learnt that his Daddy was called Reggie and not Daddy, so he knew Barty was talking to him. He looks at Barty, he didn’t want to get into trouble with his Daddy because what if Daddy decided Leo was too naughty and wouldn’t want to go back to him? Like Auntie Lucia? She thought Leo was a horrible little boy even though he really really really tried to be on his goodest behaviour. Auntie Lucia called him an ungrateful brat all the time. He didn’t know what it meant but it hurt his feelings all the same because she said it in such a mean way. Maybe his Daddy would think that too now and Leo didn’t want his Daddy to think the same as her.

“Yeah Reg, he’s alright. Evan has gone to get snacks because the hospital food is disgusting, isn’t it bud?”

Leo shakes his head wordlessly, he didn’t want to be mean about the food. He was worried it would hurt the foods feelings even though it wasn’t in the room anymore. 

”Daddy wants to talk to you.” Barty says handing the phone to Leo.

Leo takes it in his hands and stares down at it, he was worried Daddy would be cross. Daddy had always told him not to take anything off strangers especially food because it could make Leo very poorly but he did. He didn’t follow the rules and he was going to be in big big trouble. Leo thought that he should probably be in the jail for being naughty. He did something wrong but his Daddy didn’t. Maybe they would swap places and Daddy would be free because Leo was bad, not Daddy. The policemen got it all wrong.

”Leo? Can you hear me?” Reggie’s voice says through the phone, “You’re not in trouble baby. I promise you’re not in any trouble. Daddy is just happy that you’re okay..I’m not cross Leo, accidents happen okay? You’re okay sweetheart.”

Leo lifts the phone to his ear, his bottom lip wobbling, “I sorry Daddy. I not follow the rules.”

”That’s okay.” Regulus tells him softly, “Everyone breaks the rules sometimes.”

”Uncle Siri is cross with Leo.” He says, tears falling down his face as he begins to sob and gasp as he speaks, “Uncle Siri…not come..back.”

“Uncle Siri will be sorting some things out.”Regulus says confidently, he’s absolutely certain that Sirius won’t just let Leo go to LA and he’s convinced that Sirius is sorting it, “He will be there soon.”

“H-he not. He..just..cross..with..m-me.” Leo gasps for air, his little heart breaking in his chest, “I not..I not..wants..him to be cross at Leo.”

”He’s not cross with you baby.” Regulus promises, “No one is cross with you. It was just an accident. Remember what I said about accidents?”

”Shit happens.” Leo nods, making Barty snort a little.

”Well yeah..but..”Regulus cuts himself off, “Nevermind. You got the right idea. No one can be cross at you for an accident, okay?”

”Okay.” Leo sniffs, “I miss you Daddy.”

Regulus swallows the lump in his throat as he whispers, “I miss you too lion.”

”Daddy?”

”Yeah?”

Leo sighs dramatically, “I wearing a dress.”

”Very nice.”

”No.”Leo sulks, “Wants my Spider-Man jammies.”

Regulus laughs, his heart aching slightly as he misses his son so much and just wants to be with him at the hospital. It was the very first time anything of this scale had happened and Regulus couldn’t be there. He had pleaded with the wardens and the guards, begged them to let him visit but they had told him it wasn’t possible. He had to sit by and wait for someone else to confirm his little boy had survived. He could do nothing but sit in his cell and wait for someone to tell him Leo was okay. It had been the worst day of his life.

“I’m sure Uncle Siri will bring them.” Regulus tells Leo.

”He better.” Leo says seriously as he contemplates all the ways he can make Sirius hurry up back to the hospital with his favourite pyjamas. 

”My time is nearly up but I love you so so so much Leo.” Regulus says with sadness in his voice, “I love you to the moon and back.”

“Loves you to the moon ands back again.” Leo says with a wide smile.

When the phone cuts off, he holds it against his ear for a moment, hoping his Daddy will talk again but when he realises he won’t. He hands the phone back to his Uncle with a sad look. Barty tries to comfort him but Leo is suddenly in a real bad mood. He just wants his Daddy, nobody else. He lashes out at his Uncle Barty like a vicious cat, hitting and kicking him until he goes back to his chair and then he screams at him whenever he tries to speak. He doesn’t want Uncle Barty. He just wants his Daddy. 

Evan returns with Leo’s favourite snacks, placing them on Leo’s knee so he can choose whatever he likes but the four year old throws them across the room as he wails and cries, flailing his arms and legs around. Evan can’t hear it, but he can see the emotions written clearly on little Leo’s face. The poor child is absolutely distraught and heartbroken, he can’t stop crying even when he takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. Leo is frustrated by everything. He just wants normal. He needs his routine and it’s all been disrupted.

’Sirius still not visited?’

Barty shakes his head, “I’ll try ringing him again.”

Leo ends up falling asleep again, holding his bunny and crying quietly as he does. Leo wasn’t sure why he was so upset, he just knew everything was wrong. He missed his Daddy. He missed his Mummy. He missed Uncle Sirius. He missed Teddy and Harry. He didn’t like the hospital. He didn’t want to eat incase the same thing happened as yesterday but he was hungry. He wanted Uncle Siri and his safe foods. He wanted Sirius to be there so everything felt normal and better. He wanted Daddy too. He was mad at his Daddy again, because Daddy was in jail instead of with him and he was so so cross. All the people he loved the most had left him all alone. He did love his LA Uncle’s but he didn’t see them a lot. He wasn’t used to them being around, not like with Uncle Siri. He had seen Uncle Siri every single day since Auntie Lucia dumped him at the front door.

Barty huffs in annoyance when the phone takes him straight to voicemail again. He didn’t usually leave messages to people, he personally never listened to them but Sirius clearly wasn’t looking at his texts. Barty felt like storming Sirius’ flat and beating the man for being such a tosser. He should have been to the hospital to visit Leo already, but he hadn’t and he hadn’t been informing them of when to expect him. Barty was pissed. 

“Oi, where are you Sirius? Leo’s been waiting for you to turn up all day. He’s absolutely distraught, he’s not eating and he won’t stop screaming the hospital down because you’ve not visited yet? Can you give me a time or something so I can let him know when you’re coming? Oh bring his Spider-Man jammies would you? He doesn’t want to wear the gown anymore.” Barty pauses and sighs, “Just try and get here for four pm will you?”

Barty tries ringing and texting again after the voice message and still has zero luck. He just wants to make sure Leo is happy, otherwise he never would have reached out to James Potter. Sirius is James’ best friend, they’re inseparable and wherever one of them is, the other is usually not that far behind. Everyone knows that, including Barty Crouch from sunny LA. Regulus had bitched enough about James and his brother for Barty to know more than plenty to form an opinion on the man.He calls James through Facebook messenger and hopes the twat answers. He feels oddly relieved when James’ voice comes through, despite the fact he found him extremely fucking annoying.

”Hi?”

”Hey is Sirius with you?” Barty asks, “He isn’t answering the phone-“

”Is Leo alright?!”

Barty falters, he isn’t sure why he finds it so endearing that Potter cares so much about Regulus’ son but he does. The sound of panic in James’ voice had caught him completely off guard. He wonders if Regulus knows the impact Leo has had with Sirius’ friends because by the sounds of it, James loved Leo too. He doesn’t blame him, Leo is a fantastic kid and so bloody charming. It does take him by surprise though, the stories Regulus had shared about James weren’t the nicest.

”Um..not really.” Barty admits quietly, “I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s so upset. We thought Sirius would have visited by now but he hasn’t and Leo is getting really cranky. He just wants Sirius.”

James groans and sighs, “He hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts at all today. I think he thought Leo was yours and Evans now. I don’t think he realised he was still allowed to be part of it.”

”What?” Barty blinks, taking a moment to absorb the stupidity, “Is he dumb? You don’t spend three weeks with a child and then ghost them?”

”Its how he copes with rejection and pain..how he deals with letting people go that he doesn’t want to say goodbye to.”

Barty curses under his breath, “That’s a bit pathetic isn’t it? Leo is four years old. He isn’t going to understand that, he’s just going to think Sirius left him like his parents did. He is one selfish motherfucker.”

As harsh as it is, James actually agrees with Barty. Sirius hadn’t thought about what Leo would think or how he would react to Sirius just leaving. He only thought of how much easier it would be for himself to cut his losses. He did the same thing with Remus except Remus was old enough to understand the complex emotions and feelings of his ex. Leo wasn’t. Leo would only blame himself or instantly think of his Mothers death and his Fathers sentence. He would be left wondering why everyone left him behind. Leo would think he did something wrong, when he had actually done everything right and woken something up inside of Sirius that everyone thought didn’t exist. 

“I’ll keep trying.” James says, “He’s done it because he wants to keep Leo. You do realise that, right? Saying goodbye to Leo will be the hardest thing he will ever have to do.”

”Oh..”Barty rubs his lips together and sighs, “James, we didn’t sign anything yet. Regulus called just after Sirius left and..we all think Leo would be better off staying in the UK and staying with Sirius.”

James inhales sharply, “Sirius doesn’t know that does he?”

”He would if he answered Reggie’s phone calls.” Barty mutters irritably, Sirius was a right tit, “I’m going to keep ringing him, maybe you and your friends can try too? The social worker is coming back later and if no one signs the documents, he’s going to end up in foster care. I don’t want that for him James, he’s already been through too much. He deserves…routine with people he knows and loves, the last thing he needs is to be sent to live with strangers. If Sirius doesn’t come then we will sign them..but we all think Sirius is the best option. He is what is best for Leo..and for Reggie.”

”I’ll keep trying. I’ll get hold of him.” James vows, “What time is the social worker coming?”

”She said after four.” Barty bites his lip as he checks the time- they had just under two hours, “She could come bang on four or at six..Sirius just needs to be here. I love Leo to pieces I really do but LA isn’t right for him. He needs to be here. He can visit his Dad if he’s with Sirius..”

James hesitates before asking, “Can’t you two stay in the UK until Reg is released?”

”We would but we’re foster carers and the boy we’re fostering joins us next week. We're not allowed to take him out of the country otherwise we would just bring him over to the UK with us..”

“I didn't realise you were...congratulations.” James whispers, “I'll keep spamming him until he answers, he usually can't resist me for long.”

Barty actually laughs at that, remembering the years of jealousy Regulus had towards the man who stole his big brother. He knows this entire experience has healed Reggie's relationship with Sirius, he hopes that his friend will finally find the peace he deserves and they can both heal from the trauma their parents caused them together. Leo had worked a miracle, the two Black brothers were actually speaking again and Barty didn’t want it to stop. This is all Reggie had wanted since Sirius was disowned, Leo had built the bridge to bring them back together again.

Sirius wakes up on the train, his head resting on the window as he checks the stop. He was relieved to see he hasn’t missed his, he had to stay awake for the next stop now, despite how exhausted he was feeling. Seeing and speaking to Peter had been the wake-up call he needed. Peter had no choice but to keep Darcy in the NICU, he imagines the new parents just want to take both twins home. Have both of them be happy and healthy but only one was sure to survive and grow.Sirius had been idiotic a lot in his lifetime, but the two things that haunt him most is leaving Remus and then leaving Leo. He let history repeat itself, he was happy and let it be taken from himself. Both times he has convinced himself it was better with him out of the way, but his heart was breaking and this time he would mend it. Leo needed him, just as much as he needed Leo. He was certain of that fact. 

He is absolutely positive that he could convince Regulus to let Leo stay with him. He understands why Reggie would probably prefer Barty and Evan to be the caregivers for Leo whilst he was in jail. It is sort of better for Leo to be with the two men he’s known since birth. There’s two of them to share the load of childcare and all the ups and downs that come along with it. But Sirius wants Leo more than he’s ever wanted anything else. He needs Leo so badly that he feels like he could burst.

His first day Leo free wasn’t awful but that was only because he was distracted with helping Peter. Distractions aren’t always going to be available. He wasn’t capable of keeping himself distracted. It would be an issue.

All he thought of as he slept on the train was Leo. Now with his eyes open, there’s a man and who Sirius assumes is his son, sat on the seats across from him and they’re laughing together. Even on the train, Sirius can feel the loss of his nephew. He had three weeks and he wanted the next six months too. He needed them to survive. He really thought he might die if he didn’t get to see Leo’s cheeky grin or hear his goofy laugh every day. He didn’t want to be in the background, getting occasional updates. He wanted to be the one telling his LA Uncle’s how he was doing, not the other way around.

When the train eventually stops, Sirius finally switches his phone on to access his mobile ticket and it starts buzzing repeatedly, yet again. He’s extremely confused. His friends could usually take a hint. When he needed a ‘Sirius sulk’ they would let him wallow for as long as he needed, then bully him once he calmed down again.

He scrolls through the notifications, his heart hammering in his chest and sinking when he sees most of them are from Barty. Every single text saying just one word- Leo. Sirius’ mind starts spinning with the worst case scenarios, he feel sick with panic as he somehow manages to ring Barty. He doesn’t answer. He tries again as he makes his way out of the busy station. He still doesn’t answer.

”Shit.” Sirius can feel his chest tightening with worry, he should have just left his phone on and blocked James for a bit instead.

He tries calling Barty again, followed by Evan who is deaf but he could pass the phone to Barty or something but neither answer. Sirius stands in the middle of the train station, people passing by in all directions. Everything is so loud, his heart is pounding, his palms are sweating and he can’t seem to breathe.He sees children with their families, laughing and chatting and he realises that’s all he wants. He wants a family of his own. That thought in mind, he closes his eyes as he dials the only person who can calm him as he shuffles towards a nearby wall.

”Sirius?”

”R-Remus.. I ca-can’t breathe.” He chokes out, letting himself slide down to the ground, “I can’t..”

”Where are you?”

Tears fall down Sirius’ pale face, a horrible ringing in his ears as he tries to ignore the world around him and focus on his breathing. It feels like he isn’t really there, he’s sort of floating between reality and his mind and he can’t stop it from happening. He wants it to stop. He doesn’t like how it feels.

”Sirius?” Remus asks softly, “Take a deep breath, hold it and slowly release..like we used to do yeah? Can you do that for me, love? Just like we used to.”

Sirius closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and tries to hold it, but he splutters as his lungs fight for air. He tries again, he pretends Remus is right besides him, coaching him through it as he did when they were teens. He’s a little embarassed that this is happening, he hadn’t had a panic attack since himself and Remus broke up. He had to coach himself through those ones but now Remus is here. He might be mad at Sirius still, but he’s talking to him and gently helping him through it. His heart rate slowly starts to decrease, everything is still loud he still feels broken and his breathing is a little weird but he isn’t having a panic attack anymore. 

“Please tell me where you are?” Remus asks once he’s sure Sirius is breathing better, “I will come and get you.”

”You c-called me love.” Sirius whispers, a small laugh escaping his lips as tears continue to roll down his face.

“It works doesn’t it?” Remus asks with a small breathless waiver to his voice, “Where are you, Sirius? We’ve all been going crazy with worry today.”

“Train station.”

He hears the sound of Remus walking around, grabbing keys and slamming doors as he talks to someone else. Sirius focuses on remembering how to breathe normally, ensuring that his anxiety over Leo doesn’t take over again. He wouldn’t be much use to his nephew if he couldn’t hide his own panic.

”I’ll be there soon.” Remus promises as the car starts up.

”Can you stay on the phone with me?” Sirius asks, feeling horribly vulnerable. 

“Of course I can.” Remus says, ready to distract Sirius from his own thoughts, “Let me tell you what happened at the supermarket today..”

Chapter Text

Sirius sits in the backseat of Remus’ car, besides Teddy’s empty crumb covered car seat. There is an assortment of snacks, toys and other random shit on the floor by his feet. Remus has music on, his stupid little boyfriend sitting beside him singing along quietly. He’s an awful singer and should just shut up really, save Sirius the headache and bleeding ears. He’s not mad. It’s all fine. Remus and Benjy were absolutely wonderful, even if Remus had said the dates were boring and he was never going to see the man again. Fucking liar.

His panic attack is over at least, now he’s just seething with jealousy. He has no claims or ownership of Remus but he would have liked the chance to apologise, explain and fix things. He’s spent his entire life loving the same man, he really ain’t sure he’s capable of loving another and yet his time had run out. Sirius stares out of the window, tears burning his eyes as all his hope disappears again. Hope was such a dangerous thing, to hope meant letting your heart be vulnerable and Sirius wasn’t okay with that but for a moment though he allowed himself to believe he could have both Leo and Remus. That they, along with Teddy could be his family. The family he didn't even realise he wanted, let alone missed and needed. His parents had put him off so badly, he had managed to convince himself that he didn't like kids and didn't want a family of his own, but oh, how wrong he was.

Part of him had always known that, but he pushed it down and ignored it. He ignored the way his heart ached and his stomach clenched whenever Remus and Teddy were around. He pretended he hadn’t been elated when Remus announced he was getting a divorce, that his heart hadn’t sped up and his mind hadn’t wandered with possibilities. He learnt sign language for a child he saw twice a year at most because it was Remus’ son and somehow he still managed to convince himself he would be a rotten parent. He wanted to be a parent now though. He had finally done that growing up thing Remus had hoped for- but Remus was sat in the front with boring blonde Benjy.

Remus jumps slightly when his phone starts ringing, he was so lost in thought as he watched Sirius in the rear view mirror. Sirius was awfully quiet, ordinarily Sirius couldn’t go five minutes without saying something dumb or obnoxious. Remus kind of wishes he would slip up, make a funny comment about Benjy’s god-awful singing or something, just anything that would let Remus know he was okay. He knows Sirius’ panic attack would make him feel rotten, but he just needed a sign that another one wasn’t starting.

He connects the phone to the Bluetooth of his car, quickly answering it before it goes off, “Hey James.”

”Did you get him?”

”You’re on hands free, I’m driving with Benjy and Sirius in the car.” Remus says, “He’s in the backseat.”

James breathes out a long sigh of relief, “You need to get to the hospital. Now.”

Sirius’ head snaps forwards towards the phone, “Leo? Is Leo alright?!”

”He’s all good.” James says calmly, Sirius can almost hear James’ stupid grin as he says, “He’s just waiting for his favourite Uncle to sign the custody papers.”

”W-what?” Sirius breathes, his hand automatically rests against his racing chest, “Custody?Favourite Uncle?..Y-You mean..me?”

”Yeah, Barty has been trying to get hold of you all goddamn day to tell you.” James explains with a tut, “They didn’t sign nothing last night because Regulus called and said he wanted you to be Leo’s carer. Barty and Evan both agree it’s for the best. They all want Leo to be with you.”

Sirius can feel fresh tears streaming down his face, “You really mean it? You’re not fucking with me?”

”I am not fucking with you, Pads. I wouldn’t do that to you, not about this. Not when it comes to Leo.” James says, getting a little choked up himself, “You’re amazing with him. You’ve always been good with Harry but god, seeing you with Leo..it was like you were a new man.”

”I feel like a new man.” Sirius laughs sheepishly, wiping his tears on the back of his hand, “I want..what I want changed. I want to be like you, James..minus the glasses and bad sense of style-“

”Hey!”

”But what you and Lily have with Harry..that’s what I want. I want a family.”

”Then go and get him.” James encourages, then gasps in shock,“And quick because the social worker will be at the hospital in fifteen minutes! If you’re not there then Barty and Evan will sign it to stop him going into the foster system.”

”Shit.” Sirius says checking the time and then the long traffic jam in front of them, “Fuck.”

Benjy senses the urgency and points in a different direction the map navigation is telling them, “Remus. It’s quicker.”

Sirius is suspicious, he doesn't trust Benjy but clearly, Remus does. Remus follows Benjy’s instructions down the back roads, Sirius’ heart is in his throat as he wonders where the fuck they're going. He had always felt like the whole world was against him, always ruining his chances at genuine happiness so why would this Benjy bloke be any different? It was obvious that Sirius was in love with his ex, Benjy must know that and by sending them the wrong way- he could get his revenge on Sirius sleeping with Remus that one time or for intruding on what was obviously their date night.

He tries to hide his surprise when he sees the hospital, Benjy had guided them through the back roads and saved them time in the traffic.Sirius had five minutes to spare until four pm and that wouldn’t have been possible without Remus’ new boyfriend. He was clearly a good man and Remus’ deserved a good man. He deserved the absolute best kind of person, Benjy was obviously that person. Sirius knew he would do better though. He loved Remus more than Benjy would ever be able to comprehend.

“Thank you.” Sirius whispers when they pull over for him to get out, “Sorry I interrupted your date.”

Benjy laughs somewhat startled, receiving a harsh elbow to the ribs from Remus, “You're welcome.”

“Go and get Leo!” Remus smiles with a gentle nod of encouragement, “You've got this.”

Sirius slams the car door shut, inhales sharply and starts running to the ward Leo is on. Part of him wants to turn around and beg Remus to come with him. He wants Remus by his side for the good, the bad and the downright ugly. He wishes Remus could be part of this moment with him. He was finally growing up and healing, but it was too late them. He just had to make sure he wasn’t late for Leo too.

Remus sits in the car and watches as Sirius disappears through the hospital doors. His heart feels so so full, Sirius was finally doing something to make himself happy. He had always known that the partying, drinking and sleeping around was a mask. He knew Sirius better than anyone, he could tell that his ex was truly fucking miserable. When Leo was left on his doorstep, he recognised that change in his eyes immediately and he’s so relieved they made it to this. Leo was going to get to live with Sirius until his Dad was out of prison. There was no better outcome for them, this was the start of a new chapter for Sirius and Leo.

”Why did he think he interrupted our date?” Benjy asks, narrowing his eyes at Remus, “What did you tell the poor man?”

Remus blushes and ducks his head shamefully, “Nothing. He saw us eating out together..remember?”

Benjy narrows his eyes, “You’re an idiot Lupin. That man is madly in love with you.”

Remus rolls his own eyes and sighs, “Let’s just go.”

Benjy pauses to think, his head tilted slightly in Remus’ direction, “Don’t you think you should go in with him?”

”Oh..”Remus’ hands grip onto the steering wheel with the intention to drive away but he realises he can’t move, “I..don’t want to interfere or anything.”

Benjy rubs his lips together, his eyebrows drawing together with worry, “What if he’s..you know..too late?”

Remus’ heart drops into the pit of his stomach at that suggestion, his eyes find his phone to read the time and he feels his chest tighten. It was four pm on the dot, Sirius would still be making his way to the hospital room..he might..not make it on time. Remus isn’t sure what to do, if Sirius is too late then he will definitely have another panic attack. He wouldn’t be able to cope with losing Leo. He wasn’t as strong as everyone thought, but Remus could be strong for him…

”Fuck it.” Remus mutters, grabbing his phone and thrusting his car keys at Benjy, “Don’t crash my car.”

”You got it Lupin.” Benjy salutes, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, “Go and get your man!”

Remus huffs out a small laugh as he shakes his head at his friend, before running in the same direction Sirius had. He could be there for Sirius for this, even if they were exes and just friends. Either way Sirius might need his support and there wasn’t a chance in hell Remus was going to let Sirius face his fears alone.

He hears the sound of Benjy driving off in his car, he definitely can’t turn back and change his mind now unless he’s willing to walk home- which he isn’t. The hospital is a good trek from his place and frankly, he’s all out of energy from Teddy’s antics. He was convinced the three year old understood his best friend was supposed to be moving away, that along with the eye witness account of Leo’s anaphylactic shock had left Teddy in one of his funks. Remus had never struggled so much with Teddy’s behaviour, he was so pent up with aggression and spent the day lashing out and demanding his Mum. Luckily Dora was more than happy to take Teddy a day early, seeing his Mum calmed Teddy significantly and although Remus felt shit about it, he was relieved now because it meant he could be there for his ex boyfriend.

Would Sirius even want him there? He had a lot of doubts but he had always been the person Sirius turned to when he was having panic attacks. He always managed to ground him and bring him back, he couldn’t just leave him knowing there was a chance of another panic attack. Mind made up, he awkwardly jogs through the corridors of the grey and white hospital in an attempt to catch up.

Leo is sulking in the corner as Evan kneels in front of him and tries to convince him to come and sit with himself and Barty on the seats whilst they talk to the nice ‘lady’. Evan doesn’t like lying to Leo, he doesn’t think this person is a nice lady at all but he needs Leo to cooperate. The social worker, Danielle, is definitely judging them both for not having Leo ‘under control’. Evan has given her a piece of his mind but he reckons Barty mistranslated on purpose to keep the peace. 

James Potter had kept her distracted in the corridor for as long as possible, he chatted so much shit that Barty was actually impressed. James had always been a chatterbox at school but his ability to keep Danielle at bay for twenty minutes was incredible. It was a shame he hadn’t managed it for a few minutes more. Danielle had said she would be there after four pm, but the idiot showed up a full thirty minutes beforehand. Now they were attempting to stall for as long as possible, praying that Sirius was on his way.

”Mr Crouch-Rosier.” Danielle intervenes strictly, “You’re both wasting time. I don’t need Leo’s signature. Let him sit there and come and sign the documents.”

Barty stiffens slightly, glancing through the small window of the closed hospital door at James expectantly. James looks both ways before shrugging hopelessly, biting his lip as he grabs his phone out of his pockets to ring his best friend again. He really didn’t want Sirius to miss this. Leo was everything that Sirius needed. Sirius was finally happy with little Leo around and he didn’t want the happiness to stop because Leo had to go elsewhere. Sirius doesn’t answer.

Barty rests his hand on Evan’s shoulder, the blonde looks up at him and sees the look on Barty’s face. They were out of time. Sirius was too late. They both look wordlessly at the sulking toddler, their hearts sinking. All Leo had asked for all day, other than his Dad, was his Uncle Sirius. Leo had cried, screamed and begged for Uncle Siri, to the point he exhausted himself several times and had to take a few power naps. Now it was getting on, night was on the way and Leo had come to the conclusion that Sirius had left him.

He had a face like thunder, his arms crossed over his chest and he kept snarling at his other Uncle’s whenever they got to close. What Danielle couldn’t see from where she sat judging and making notes, was the tears filling his grey eyes and the slight wobble of Leo’s bottom lip. He wasn’t a bad kid. He wasn’t being a brat or difficult. He was heartbroken. Evan had tried telling her that with a few choice words but she didn’t know BSL.

Danielle taps her pen impatiently, “I’m realising you two do not want Leo in your custody.” She states, putting the pen down and sighing, “There’s an available spot in Umbridge children’s home for him.”

“N-no.” Barty stutters out, standing to his feet and looking at the empty window, “We don’t want that. It’s just that we’re waiting for someone else.”

”I haven’t got all day! Leo isn’t the only child I have to deal with today. I said after four!” Danielle informs them, “If the other person can’t be bothered to show, that’s on them.”

Suddenly the hospital room door flies open, James Potter stands there panting and wheezing, holding his side, “Found Moony.”

”Moony?” Barty frowns.

”Remus. He said Sirius already came in?”

Danielle tuts, “Well he isn’t here.”

”He’s here!” Remus says as he runs through the door, “He must have got lost. Please just wait. He loves Leo more than anything, you can’t send him to LA and you can’t send him to a care home. He’s got a whole group of people who absolutely love him right here. You can’t..please please just wait.”

James nods along as Remus talks, then adds himself, “Yeah! Exactly! Our sons are Leo’s best friends. Leo’s Dad is in prison two hours from here and if he stays with Sirius, he can visit until he comes out.”

”Leo’s lost so much already.” Barty points out softly, “His Mum died a year ago, his Dad is..you know…um occupied. Sirius and his friends are here. Evan and I, we love him to pieces, he’s our nephew..we’d do anything for him. But it’s only us in LA..he hasn’t got anyone else there. He’s settled with Sirius..” Barty looks over at where Evan is signing to Leo, “We love him enough to know that he would be happier here. He wants to be with his Uncle Sirius. He wants to stay here and be with his friends and be close to his home. We..we can’t take that from him.”

”This is all very touching.” Danielle says, standing to her feet, “But he isn’t he-“

”I’M HERE.” Sirius interrupts as he stumbles through the door, he falters when he sees everyone standing, “Am I too late?”

Leo’s eyes widen happily when he hears Sirius’ voice, his bad mood evaporating on the spot as he jumps up and pushes gently past Evan and runs straight into Sirius. His little arms wrap around Sirius’ legs tightly, burying his head into Sirius’ thighs as he grins contently. Sirius kneels down, meeting Leo’s eyes before pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him.

”Hello sweetheart.”

”I thought you left me.” Leo whispers sadly.

Sirius shakes his head, “Never.”

”I wants to stay with you,Uncle Siri.” Leo says, his voice shaking slightly, “I nots want to go on a airy-plane. I just stay here. Please? I promise to be the goodest boy..I won’t be bad.”

Sirius laughs softly, meeting his nephews eyes again, “Leo, you could be the naughtiest little hooligan in the world and I would still want you to stay with me.”

Danielle stares at the two in front of her, a small smile on the corner of her mouth as she watches them together. It was a no brainer really, Leo belonged with Sirius. Everyone in the room could see that.

She clears her throat, schooling her warm expression as Sirius stands to his feet, “We better sign the forms then, Mr Black. Once they’re signed, Leo is officially in your care.”

”Oh thank god.” Sirius breathes, a huge weight of his chest. He wasn’t late. Leo was going home with him.

He eagerly signs the documents, Leo’s hand never leaving his free one as he does. He had never wanted anything so badly in all his life and he had it. Leo Black was in his care until Reggie was free. He would ensure that nothing bad happened to Leo again, he would get more epipens and hire someone to fix the balcony fence and buy a new sofa. Leo was going to be safe, happy and so so loved with Sirius. Sirius would make sure of it.

Barty and James start cheering when Sirius drops the pen, Leo officially in his care. Leo seems to have a moment of realisation then, he drops Sirius’ hand and runs to his Uncle Barty and hugs him.

”I sorry Uncle Bee.” He whispers, “I just…I wants to stay with Uncle Siri.”

”Lion you don’t have to apologise. We still love you the exact same.” Barty assures him, ruffling his black curls and grinning, “We will visit again soon, ain’t that right Ev?”

Evan frowns in confusion, until Barty signs everything for him and then he nods before kneeling next to Leo. Before he can lift his hands to say what he wants to say, Leo dives at him to hug him. He felt a little bad, he knows his Uncle Evan and Uncle Barty loves him lots but he felt better staying with Uncle Siri. He liked his new bedroom at Uncle Siri’s and he liked all his new friends too. It felt like the best thing to do.

When he eventually pulls away, Evan smiles tearfully at him.

’We love you so much. All of us do. We’re going to miss you but we’re happy because you’re happy.’

’Why you crying if you happy?’

’Happy tears. I’m so happy that I’m crying.’

’Oh..one time I laugh so much I cry.’

’Yeah?’

’With Uncle Siri.’

Barty smiles, helping Evan to his feet and nods, “You’re our brave lion. We’re so proud of you.”

”I loves you.”

”We love you too sweet boy.” Barty smiles, his heart a little heavy, “Now, you can go home and get those jammies.”

Leo nods excitedly, bouncing in the balls of his feet as he grabs his bunny of the bed and then jumps into Sirius’ open arms, “TO MY FLAT.”

”Your flat?” Sirius snorts.

”Our flat?” Leo asks, his grey eyes hopeful.

Sirius nods, “Our home.”

”TO OUR HOME.” He declares, “I needs my Spider-Man jammies.”

”Okay okay.” Sirius laughs, looking at the nurse and social worker, “Is he allowed to leave?”

”Discharged an hour ago.” The nurse smiles.

Sirius turns to face Barty and Evan, “Thank you both, so much.”

”Don’t mention it.” Barty shrugs sheepishly.

”Maybe before you head back to LA, you can visit the flat.. say goodbye?”

Barty hesitates, “Would have to be tomorrow morning..we fly out tomorrow afternoon.”

Sirius nods, “He’s up from six am usually.”

”Okay.” Barty agrees, “We will be there.”

”Perfect.” Sirius smiles as he starts walking towards James and Remus.

”Wait Sirius!” Barty calls after him, almost bumping into him when he turns around, “I just..thank you. Not just for Leo but for Reggie too, he’s been waiting for his big brother to come back..he’s needed you more than he will ever admit and you’ve been there..so thank you.”

Sirius smiles, fresh tears burning his eyes as he tries to blink them away, “I needed him too. By trusting me with his son, I think..I think me and Reggie are going to be okay.”

”I know.” Barty smiles sadly, “He didn’t choose the family over you..I don’t know if you had that conversation yet..but just know, he didn’t have a choice. He would never willingly turn his back from you, Sirius.”

Sirius frowns but nods, he’s grateful Barty told him that. He isn’t sure he’s ready for the details yet, he knows that himself and Regulus aren’t ready to dig up the past together but it is a comfort to know that Regulus never had a problem with Sirius’ sexuality. 

“Need a lift?” Jame asks, ruffling Leo’s hair.

Leo sighs, “Everyone can stop touching my hair! I am getting sick of its! No touch Leo hair!”

”Oof he really is a mini you ain’t he?” James teases lightly, “Harry’s seat is in the back, let’s get you two home. I’m dropping Moony off first though.”

Sirius is so happy with Leo in his arms as they walk to James’ car, he’s aware of Remus walking and talking with James. He wants to talk to him, he feels like he’s on a lucky winning streak but what if his luck runs out? What if Remus doesn’t want to hear what he has to say? What if he tries and it ruins the happiest day of his life with Leo? He should focus on Leo fully, he shouldn’t drag Remus into it too. 

Leo holds Sirius’ hand in the backseats of James’ car, he falls asleep but still doesn’t release his Uncle’s hand. It’s as if he’s afraid Sirius will disappear, despite snoring his head off, his grasp remains firm. Remus and James are chatting about the next Dad day out with the kids, Sirius smiles to himself when he hears him and Leo mentioned in their plans. He got to have more swimming trips, more park days and sleepovers. Maybe he would even host the next one, have Leo, Teddy and Harry sleep in Leo’s new room. Midnight snacks, Spider-Man movies and a big pillow fort..maybe the Dads would do it too. It sounded like a lot of fun and why should the kids get all the fun?

”You in?”James asks, looking at Sirius in the rear view mirror.

”Text me the time,date and place and we will be there.” Sirius confirms smiling, looking over at Leo and smiling even harder.

He had never felt so happy but as they pull up outside Remus’ place, he feels the urge to say something. Most of his regrets had come from not saying how he really felt, he might not get anywhere with Remus but he had to try. When Remus slips out the car, Sirius carefully removes himself from Leo’s grip and follows Remus up the footpath to his front door.

Remus frowns at him, “What?”

”I wanted to apologise.” Sirius says, nervously looking down at his feet, “I didn’t treat you very fairly. I don’t think what I’m doing right now is very fair either but I need to tell you. I have to get it off my chest so that I can breathe easier.”

”Is this about what you were going to say at the park?” Remus asks softly, “Because I’ve been driving myself crazy..wondering..”

”Yes.” Sirius confirms, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was wrong about it all. As always you were right..I did change my mind. I want..kids..I think maybe..I even like them and..”Sirius takes a deep breath, looking up to meet Remus’ eyes, “I want you. I want Teddy too. I can see it now, Moons. I know I can do it..I can be the best  step-Dad in the world..if..if that’s..something you want too? I love you Remus, I never stopped loving you and I was fucking crazy to ever think I could go my whole entire life without you.. just..please give me a chance. Let me show you how sorry I am and how much I love you and Teddy..because I do I love you both-“

”Hey sorry to interrupt.”

Sirius turns around, his heart hammering in his chest as he sees Benjy at the bottom of Remus’ footpath. Sirius curses at himself, he hadn’t even thought about Benjy. He hadn’t even considered that Remus might be happy right now.

”I am so sorry.” Sirius blurts out as he starts moving backwards away from his ex, “I’m sorry.“

”Sirius.” Remus says stepping forward, grabbing his arm as he tries to flee, “He’s just my friend. Benjy is just a friend.”

”Oh.” Sirius breathes out, feeling incredibly embarrassed as he awkwardly glances at James.

”I want that too.” Remus whispers after a beat of silence, “All I’ve ever wanted is you.”

”Yeah?”

Remus nods, tears rolling down his flushed cheeks, “Yeah.” He steps closer to Sirius, planting a soft chaste kiss to his forehead, “But we have to go slow. We can’t..we can’t rush this.”

”Because of the boys.” Sirius agrees with a nod, “I understand.. I don’t want to screw this up and break four hearts.”

”Me neither.” Remus says, “The kids come first.”

”Always.” Sirius nods with a smile, “Maybe..I can take you on a date sometime.”

”I’d like that.” Remus blushes, ducking his head in an attempt to hide his burning cheeks.

”I’ll text you.” Sirius blushes too, feeling the flutters heavily in his stomach as he starts stumbling towards the gate and back to James’ car, “I’ll see you real soon.”

Remus laughs as Sirius trips over himself as he fumbles with the car door, “See you soon.”

Sirius grins in the backseat, waving to Remus and Benjy as James drives away. It doesn’t take long for his best friend to interrogate him and get all the details of Sirius’ nervous exchange with Remus. He was positively vibrating in the aftermath, he had never felt so happy and content in his life. He got Leo back and now, he was going to get his Remus back too.

For the first time in his life, Sirius felt like he had direction and knew what was waiting on the other side of the tunnel. He could hardly wait for the next chapter of his life but he knew if Remus was by his side, the next chapter would be fucking perfect.

Chapter Text

Sirius meets James and Remus at the pool with the kids a few days after Barty and Evan left England. The goodbye had been harder than any of them thought it would be and Sirius was kind of gutted to see them leave. Poor Leo was devastated, he cried for ages after they left but cheered up come the afternoon with a trip to the park with his friends.

Harry had broken up for the summer holidays and Teddy was only in nursery two days a week , with the schools closed Remus and Lily were both off work and Sirius had taken a long leave from his boring job (he was rich enough it wouldn’t affect him at all)so the three kids go to play together almost daily. James even attempted to host BBQ night, burning everything whilst the children played and Sirius flirted with Remus, making both of them blush silly.

The two kids almost tackled Leo to the floor in their excitement when they spot them walking towards them outside the swimming centre. Sirius has a bag filled with swimming gear, smirking to himself as he sees Remus and James carrying their stuff in their arms. Towels, armbands, swim trunks and the kids goggles balancing on the top. Sirius never thought he would be the more organised of the three of them but here he was. He was a little smug about it.

Sirius was once again reminded of how he had definitely done the right thing as Harry and Teddy eagerly danced in a circle with Leo. The three kids bounced around as they clung to  each other, both excited to swim but also excited to hang out- yet again.  Leo was so unbelievably happy. He hadn’t stopped smiling since they arrived back at Sirius’ flat Sunday night (aside from the morning his Uncles said goodbye) and had maccies for tea- just as they had done the first night Leo arrived. It felt like a full circle moment. Naturally, Leo crept into Sirius’ bed on the first night back and Sirius would have it no other way. He was never taking anything for granted ever again, every minute spent with his nephew was incredible and he loved every single second.

James ruffles Leo’s hair, making Leo slap his hand away sharply, “NO!”

”Sorry I forgot!” James says holding his hands up in surrender.

”Oh, so Leo gets an apology but you’ll continue messing my hair up?” Sirius asks, genuinely offended.

James nods, “Leo’s hair is actually good. Yours is always a mess.”

“Says the one who is nicknamed Prongs because of how his hair sticks up.”

“WE WANT TO GO SWIMMING!!”Harry whinges, sick of the chatting adults already. 

James tuts, “Alright alright let’s go.”

The three children run ahead, James close behind them telling them to be careful and look where they’re going when they almost collide into a woman. Sirius lingers behind a moment with Remus, the usual nervous flutter in the pit of his stomach as he looks at the man besides him. They had been texting a lot, had the odd late night phone call and it was good. Slow but good. They had yet found time for a date with them both being so busy with the kids but they still saw each other at the park and at a party the Longbottoms hosted the day before. 

It felt like the start again, like when they first started viewing each other as more than friends in school. The awkward jittering, dramatic swoops of their stomachs when they met each others eyes, a lot stumbling over words and ridiculous amounts of blushing. Sirius had developed a habit of twirling his hair around his finger whenever he spoke to Remus face to face and James couldn’t let it go. Every time he caught Sirius doing it, he videoed it and roasted him in the groupchat that Remus was in. He couldn’t help it, Remus just made him so nervous and giddy. He felt like a teenager again, experiencing his very first love.

”Hi.” He blinks, his cheeks flushing pink already.

Remus snorts softly, “Hi.”

”You got those red swim trunks again today?” Sirius asks, not noticing when he starts twirling a strand of his black hair around his finger.

”Yeah.” Remus smirks, “Why? Do you like them?”

Sirius nods, his face burning crimson, “Yeah. I love them. On you! I love them on you. They look good..on..on you..”

”You should see me without them” Remus winks, walking away as Sirius splutters and chokes on the mental image.

Remus is laughing as Sirius jogs to catch up to him, almost walking into the automatic doors. There was something incredibly endearing, watching Sirius fight for his man. His mentality of taking it slow and sweeping Remus off his feet again had left him clumsy with how nervous he was. It was as if Remus was some big time celebrity that Sirius couldn’t string a sentence together properly in front of. They walk through the doors, seeing James scowling at them both and shaking his head as he points to the three sulking children sat on green plastic chairs. Each one of them looks equally as annoyed as the other as they glare at the two men who were wasting their time by flirting outside. Of course the children didn’t know what they were doing, they had just assumed they were doing a James and forgot how to stop talking. Adults had a habit of doing that, stopping each other in supermarkets or in the street to talk for years! Usually when the kids had better things to do like going to the park or swimming!

”Come on Uncle Siri!” Leo whines, standing to his feet, “We got to play mermaids-“

“No!” Harry intervenes, “We got to play pirates.”

“I don’t wanna!” Leo argues, “I playing mermaids!”

”Well I’m playing pirates!”

”Fine. I not your friend no more.” Leo snarls, taking Sirius’ hand, “Harry is a loser.”

Sirius frowns at them, Leo’s face is the spitting image of his Father as he drags Sirius towards the changing rooms. Harry has his arms folded stubbornly, his eyebrows furrowed together with annoyance. Teddy simply rolls his eyes and walks past everyone to the changing rooms, Remus rushing to catch up with him. Teddy starts signing at his Dad rapidly, as he points to the sulking friends behind him.

He reminds Sirius so much of Remus that his heart clenches, he knows he loves Teddy now. How could he not? The boy was half of Remus..one day he would be the older brother of his and Remus’ kids. Sirius stops dead in his tracks, blinking in surprise at his own train of thought. James nudges him as he passes by, reminding Sirius to keep walking whilst giving him an odd look. Sirius smiles to James, then grins widely to himself as he realises the thought doesn’t scare him the way it used to. He can’t wait for the future but he also doesn’t want to rush things and miss out. Remus is here now, and that is great too but he realises he definitely definitely wants a mini Sirius running around. He’d be the coolest kid in the world. 

”Oi Prongs!” Sirius says jogging to keep up, “Listen I need a favour…”

Remus looked godly in his tight red trunks and Sirius was having a very hard time not blatantly staring at him. Remus knew it too, as he splashed around with Teddy he could feel Sirius’ eyes watching his every move. Remus wasn’t an arrogant man by any means but there was something incredibly satisfying with Sirius ogling him right in front of Fabian. The lifeguard wasn’t interested in Sirius though, he had his eyes set on a different Dad in the deeper end of of the pool.

Leo and Harry had come to an agreement, playing pirates and mermaids. Somehow that meant that they were pirates and Sirius and James were mermaids. The two boys were jumping on James, splashing and possibly drowning him but Sirius was too invested in Remus and his red swim trunks to notice much else around him. There could be a tyrannosaurus rex breaking through the building, eating those around him and Sirius wouldn’t notice.. unless it went for Remus.

”UNCLE SIRI WATCH ME!” Leo yells, grabbing Sirius’ attention immediately as he stands some distance away from the pool.

Leo grins mischievously when Sirius starts shaking his head at him in warning. Leo ignores him and runs forward on the slippery floors towards the pool and jumps. He lands with a loud splash in front of Sirius, blinding the man’s vision temporarily and comes up coughing and choking on water. Fabian blows his whistle at them, before descending down the steps of his lifeguard seat.

”You can’t do that Leo it’s not safe.” Fabian tells him once he reaches the edge of the pool.

Remus watches like a jealous green eyed monster as Sirius starts babbling his apologies to Fabian. Leo rolls his eyes and splashes water at Fabian as Sirius pulls him away, trying to get the four year old to stop soaking the lifeguard. Remus has to press his lips together to suppress his laugh. Leo might just be his favourite child now.

”You can snogs Uncle Siri later!” Leo tells him, splashing the ginger man again, “Later when Leo is sleeping! You can snogs naked again.”

Sirius’ face turns bright red, “No Leo-“

”He your BOYFREN!” Leo insists, sighing exasperatedly, “Boyfrens kiss to make babies.”

”No he’s not.” Sirius tells him but Leo has already swam away, Sirius cringes glancing sheepishly at Fabian, “I’m so sorry.”

Fabian laughs, “So, are we snogging later?”

Remus feels his anger spike, he knows he should keep his cool and ignore it. Sirius and himself were taking things extra slow, they weren’t rushing. If Sirius and Fabian were still going to snog and shag then fine! Remus had no right to be angry or jealous by it, but he was. He really really was. He wanted to skip the slow part and get married already, pick up from where they left off but that wasn’t fair on Leo and Teddy. They had to do things better this time around..even if that meant tolerating this. Unfortunately, Sirius had always attracted attention and Remus had handled it, when they were dating officially in their youth, he would just smile smugly- knowing Sirius would turn them away and boast about his boyfriend in one sentence. They didn’t have that security this time around, they weren’t official..so Sirius was a free man. He could do as he pleased.

”No.” Sirius shakes his head, side eyeing Remus and offering him a reassuring smile, “I won’t be doing that with you again.”

Fabian notices the way Sirius looks at Remus and grins, “I’m glad you two figured your shit out. About damn time.”

Remus furrows his eyebrows as he watches Fabian walk away, did everyone know how hopelessly in love Remus was with Sirius? He thought he hid it quite well but it looked as though the only one who was unaware was Sirius himself- up until Remus told him of course and Sirius hadn’t exactly reacted well to that had he? In fact, Sirius had cut him off during his confession..what if he changed his mind again? Fabian was very attractive..

Fabian blows his whistle loudly, scarpering off quickly to the other side of the swimming pool where two teenagers are trying to dunk each other. Fabian had a great body, ripped and lean, muscles and muscles…Remus felt as though he had let himself go a bit since becoming a Dad.. what on Earth could Sirius ever see in him? He was a boring teacher, who spent his evenings marking school work and reading books if he wasn’t in Dad mode. Sirius was bound to get bored again eventually..

”Stop overthinking Moons.” Sirius whispers in his ear, resting his chin on Remus’ shoulder.

Remus jumps a little then blushes, Sirius always seemed to be able to read his mind. Teddy was swimming from the edge of the pool, towards Remus. He wasn’t confident in the water, he was terrified of it because he couldn’t hear. Sirius watched the three year old, in his yellow armbands swim back and fourth with a smile on his face. Teddy never wandered far from his Dad when they visited the swimming baths and Sirius felt the overwhelming urge to help the kid swim more freely like he had done with his brother.

As kids, their nanny would take them to the swimming pool and Reggie would stay close to the edge on the shallow end. Sirius had gradually got his brother out of his shell, made him a pretty decent swimmer and he was sure that as an adult he could definitely do the same for Teddy. Sometimes he could see Teddy’s little face as he watched Harry and Leo splashing around together and knew the boy wanted to participate but didn’t trust himself. 

Currently, Harry and Leo were both attempting to drown James. The two of them laughing as James pretends to drown dramatically, then swimming up behind them to scare them. Leo squeals loudly when James jumps at them, Harry just throws himself at his Dads head to try and drown him again. Sirius isn’t sure if it’s a game or if the little shits genuinely are attempting murder but he doesn’t care right now. His chin is still rested on Remus’ shoulder and he feels at home. He cannot stop staring at Remus, watching the man’s face as he encourages Teddy’s swimming skills. He looks so proud as the tot speeds up, giggling happily to himself and Sirius’ heart feels so full. He feels so full he might explode.

”Teddy is at his Mums tonight right?” Sirius asks quietly, regretfully lifting his head off Remus’ shoulder when he sees the look Teddy gives them. He didn’t want to confuse the kid.

”Right.” Remus confirms with a nod, “Dropping him off after swimming actually.”

”Leo is staying at James’ place tonight.” Sirius smirks, “Which means?”

”We’re both child free?”

Sirius chuckles softly, “Well yeah but I was thinking more along the lines of..we’re both free for our first date.”

”Oh!” Remus blushes shyly, trying to hide his face from Sirius.

”I’ll pick you up at 5pm then yeah?” 

“What is it we’re going to do?” Remus asks curiously, unable to hide the excitement as he looks at Sirius.

Sirius smirks, “You’ll see when we get there Moons. It’s a surprise.”

”Sirius-“

”Can’t hear you!” Sirius declares falsely as he starts swimming over to James to rescue him, “See you later.”

Remus huffs a laugh, refocusing all his attention back on Teddy who has decided to see how long he can hold his breath in the water- only 3 seconds each time. He’s doing much better than Remus though, who feels as though all the air had been stolen from his lungs at the sight of Sirius alone. He couldn’t wait for their date tonight, he felt fireflies burning his insides with nerves.

True to his word, Sirius arrives at Remus home at 5pm on the dot. Remus was already a bag of nerves, trying on various outfits before settling on his usual baggy jeans and a Bowie t-shirt. He felt a bit ridiculous being this nervous, Sirius and himself had remained civil for many years..it wasn’t like he was a stranger or anything! He hadn’t been this nervous when he shagged the bloke for the first time in forever so why was the pre date nerves affecting him so much?

When he opens the front door, his heart leaps at the sight of Sirius in a black shirt and a bouquet of flowers in his arms. He looks at Remus, a smile across his pretty face as he turns pink and thrusts the flowers at the equally anxious man.

”Thank you. They’re lovely.”Remus smiles, sniffing them, “Erm come in whilst I find a vase for them.”

Sirius follows Remus, stepping into the home Remus had built without him. As he looks around he expects to feel that familiar ache in his chest, but instead he’s grinning as he admires Remus’ home. Just from the living-room alone, he can tell that Teddy lives here. All the small child’s toys are discarded around the living-room, he’d obviously had an absolute blast playing with all his things. The photos on the wall, were mostly of Teddy in his different stages of life. There was a few photos with Remus too, pushing Teddy on the swing at the park or holding him as a newborn.

He almost laughed when he saw Remus’ bookcases, the man had always been fond of reading and it was nice to see he has upgraded from stacks in their old flat to actual storage. All his books were on the top shelves, either side of his chimney, on the lower shelves were Teddy’s own books and a few funko pop figures that Teddy clearly liked to play with. Sirius didn’t feel sad at all, noticing Remus’ couch too had a child inflicted stain, instead he was happy. Remus’ house felt like a home, it was cozy, warm and welcoming. He felt like..he felt like..he belonged there. He could picture his stuff scattered amongst theirs and he wanted it. He wanted it so so badly.

“Sorry about that! I couldn’t find a vase.” Remus says as he stumbles out of the kitchen and into the living area.

”What did you end up using?”

Remus presses his lips together and huffs, “The kettle…”

”Bet they look fabulous in there darling.” Sirius teases, “I’ll have to get you a vase next time.”

Remus smiles, not bothering to hide the inevitable blush on his cheeks, “So..there’s definitely going to be a next time?”

”Oh Moony,” Sirius sighs dreamily, “There’s going to be forever.”

”Forever? I like the sound of that.”

Sirius steps closer, cupping the side of Remus’ face with his hand, “Our forever.”

“What does our forever look like?” Remus gulps, his eyes shyly looking into Sirius’.

”Well first, we’re going to go on our date. Then we’re going to become official. Tell the kids. Get married.” Sirius breathes, suddenly nervous about his grand plan, “And then maybe..we could..um.. look at surrogacy so that I can have..a baby with you but..um my you know..”

Remus nods, his own hands resting on Sirius’ waist to pull him closer, “That sounds perfect, sweetheart.”

”Then.. maybe you can too..” Sirius whispers, “I want a family with you Moons..a really really big family.”

”How big are we talking?”

”At least… seven or eight…maybe nine.”

Remus laughs and shakes his head, “The most I’ll do is four, including Ted.”

”Four it is then.” Sirius agrees, his smile widening, “Four babies for us to love.”

”I can’t wait.” Remus says sincerely, unable to erase the thoughts of four little kids playing in the back garden together with himself and Sirius. It was everything Remus had ever wanted. A family with Sirius. It was everything he has ever dreamed of.

“We better go on our first date then.” Sirius says, interlocking their hands and tugging Remus towards the front door, “You’re going to have the best time love.”

”You haven’t told me what we’re doing.”

Sirius smirks, Remus hated surprises but he knew Remus would really really like this one, “The sooner we get there, the sooner you will know.”

”You’re so annoying.” Remus mumblesc getting angsty, “God I hate you.”

”No you don’t.”

Remus smiles weakly, “No I don’t.”

He locks the front door before turning around to follow Sirius down the footpath, parked up on the side of the road is Sirius’ beloved motorbike with two helmets. Immediately Remus is shaking his head and waving his hands back and fourth in denial, there wasn’t a chance in hell he was riding that death trap. Sirius holds out the helmet, a small convincing smile of his face, his eyes asking Remus for trust and Remus weakens. He takes the helmet, his heart fluttering as he puts it on and crosses his arms. He was aware he looked idiotic in the helmet, he couldn’t pull it off the way Sirius did.

Sirius climbs onto his bike, glancing over his shoulder at Remus, “Get on and hold tight.”

Remus mumbles to himself unhappily, he had never ridden the bike before but he had witnessed Sirius and James speeding on it together. James wouldn’t even hold on, he waved his arms around like a madman relying on gravity alone- it was before kids though. Maybe he’d be more reasonable now, Remus doubted that a lot.

He clings onto Sirius, screws his eyes shut and rests his head on Sirius’ back. He wanted it to be over as quickly as possible, he didn’t want to acknowledge or see how fast they were going. He just wanted to survive. Sirius laughs to himself as he starts the engine, Remus somehow holding on even tighter. They both liked the way it felt, their bodies pressed together tightly. Sirius felt so free with Remus wrapped around him. When they started to move, Remus yelped in horror as Sirius continued to laugh loudly over the roar of the engine.

Remus slowly peels his eyes open to look around at the cars as they speed past. He hopes to god they get wherever they’re going soon, he feels sick, he can feel the wind against his bare arms and the hard seat is uncomfortable on his arse. Worst of all he can  feel his half hard cock digging into Sirius’ back, he tried to get it to go but he was pressed up right against the other man and he was only human. 

Eventually Sirius pulled up into the carpark and Remus looked around, his heart stilling in his chest when he realises where they are. They had their first ever date here when they were sixteen, Sirius had started a paper round and saved for weeks to take them here. Sirius helps Remus off the bike, smiling softly at him as Remus takes a moment to remember. 

”This okay?” Sirius asks hesitantly, he can see Remus is overwhelmed.

”Yeah.” Remus breathes, “Yeah..it’s perfect.”

Sirius takes Remus’ hand, guiding him towards the florescent pink and yellow ice cream shop ahead. It closed at 7pm and Sirius wanted to make sure they had some time to sit and talk, he already knew Remus’ order. Florean Fortescues ice cream parlour had been there since they were kids, the old fashioned ice cream shop had never changed its interior and it was like they had turned back time to being sixteen years old again. The walls inside were still the same horrible striped green and cream that Remus loathed, they still had giant plastic ice creams decorating the walls and the workers still wore the same blue shirts and triangular hats.

”Same as always?” Sirius guesses as they make their way over to the counter. Remus just nods, looking around and noticing the table they sat at is empty. It couldn’t be more perfect. 

Sirius orders Remus’ triple chocolate ice cream bowl as well as his own strawberry shortcake cone with strawberry drizzle. Remus was a bit addicted to chocolate in his youth, to the point Sirius would carry it in his pocket just incase his lover got grumpy and needed a snack. Nowadays Sirius and Remus both carried chocolate in their pockets but for their little tykes instead.

Noticing the same table Remus had, Sirius carries Remus’ bowl over to the table and slides into the booth. Remus follows him, sitting opposite as they both tuck in, their legs brushing against one another beneath the table. Sirius watches as Remus hums in satisfaction, his eyes closing as he appreciates his first taste of his ice cream. He hadn’t been to this place in forever, their ice creams were still by far the best they’d ever had.

”We have to bring the boys here.” Remus states, “They would love it.”

”I was just thinking the same thing.” Sirius smiles, licking his own ice cream as he catches Remus’ eyes.

”Don’t look at me when you’re doing that.” Remus scolds playfully, looking down at his own bowl.

”Giving you dirty thoughts am I Moony?” Sirius teases lightly, “Felt like you were having a good time on the bike earlier too.”

Remus turns as red as Sirius’ ice cream as he checks around him to make sure no one was listening in. Sirius laughs at him, he’d never seen Remus so flustered and nervous in his life. Remus was usually the more confident flirt of the two, at least when it came to Sirius.

”Sorry.” Remus mumbles, “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

”I’m nervous too.” Sirius says, reaching across the table to run a finger over Remus’ knuckles, “I’m nervous because I really don’t want to fuck this up again.”

Remus nods, interlocking their hands and smiling at them, “Me too. I am so scared you’re going to change your mind.”

Sirius stands up, moving around the table to sit besides Remus, “God no. I never stopped loving you Moony. All these years, since I was fifteen..I’ve been hopelessly in love with you. I got you back, right? After everything, despite how wrong I was about certain things, you’re sat with me right now.. I’ll never change my mind. It’s taking everything in me not to drop down on my knee and ask you to marry me tomorrow.”

A startled laugh escapes Remus’ lips at the idea of marrying Sirius tomorrow, he doesn’t hate the idea but he knows it’s not realistic. He turns to face Sirius’ properly, their hands still holding whilst Sirius’ other hand holds his melting cone.

”Why did you change your mind?” Remus whispers, his voice catching in his throat.

”I think my mind has been changing for a long time..”Sirius confesses, “Just slowly.. you know? Leo definitely gave me the push I needed to grow up but..there’s certain things that happened in the past before Leo that makes me realise I’ve always wanted a family especially with you.”

Remus swallows nervously, “Things like what?”

Sirius bites his lip and sighs, “When you announced you and Dora were expecting Teddy..my heart broke. I realised that night..that erm..being a Dad with you..might not have been as bad as I imagined.”

Remus raises his eyebrow, “You never said anything..”

”Why would I? You were happy and had the family you always wanted.” Sirius smiles, “I was never going to ruin that for you Moony.”

”And now?”

”Now..I’m ready.” Sirius nods, quickly licking ice cream that’s dripping down his fingers, “I’m ready to be your husband and Teddy’s step-dad and have babies.. I mean I am in my thirties. I’m not getting any younger and I want the rest of my life with you.”

”Okay.” Remus smiles, his heart racing in his chest, “Marry me then.”

Sirius eyebrows shoot beneath his black curls, “Marry you? For real?”

”Yeah.” Remus nods, “I don’t want to wait. I want to pick up where we left off..this slow thing really isn’t working for me.”

Sirius laughs, resting his forehead against Remus’, “What about the kids?”

”Teddy already adores you and knows you.” Remus reasons, “I think he’d be quite happy actually.”

”Leo will too.” Sirius agrees, “He will probably want to plan the wedding himself you know?”

Remus grins, his nose bumping against Sirius’, “Saves us a job.”

”Remus?” Sirius whispers, “Will you marry me?”

”Yes.” Remus nods eagerly, his hands wrapping around Sirius’ neck to pull him in closer.

Sirius kisses him in-between smiles, neither of them able to stop grinning. This is the way it was supposed to be all those years ago, the both of them were on cloud nine and despite the rush, they felt ready and it felt right. Sirius’ ice cream drops to the floor, making Sirius pull back and groan miserably at the loss. Remus laughs at him, getting some chocolate ice cream on his spoon and devouring it in front of his fiancés face.

”Moons that’s so mean.” Sirius complains as Remus licks and sucks the spoon enticingly.

”It’s really delicious.” Remus smirks at him, his eyes dark with lust, “Why don’t come and taste it?”

Sirius leans forward, letting Remus spoon feed him the chocolate overload and grimaces, “I don’t understand how you can eat that.”

”More for me then.” Remus shrugs, “Works out perfectly really because I really don’t like sharing my chocolate.”

”What about Teddy?”

Remus snorts, “I have my own stash.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” Sirius laughs fondly, “You going to take me back to your place and show me your stash?”

”Hmm maybe.”

”Don’t worry Moons, our date isn’t over yet.”

”It isn’t?”

Sirius shakes his head, “Nope! We got two more stops.”

Chapter Text

Remus is genuinely blown away as Sirius dangles the keys in front of his face. He can’t comprehend how Sirius managed to convince the owner of his favourite bookstore to hand over the keys for a private date, but as Sirius unlocks the doors and types the security number into the keypad on the side..he’s convinced. Sirius had somehow managed to pull it off. It was Remus’ absolute dream to get lost in the bookstore, no other people around to distract him or make him feel like he had to rush. He felt as if he had all the time in the world, all because Sirius had made it possible. Sirius didn’t even like reading. He’s sure the man would much rather be rollerblading or at an amusement park but here he is, doing something Remus adored simply because he adored Remus.

Sirius takes Remus’ hand and pulls the frozen man into the building, smirking at him as he admires the shocked look on his face. He would have to think of more ways to get this exact expression out of Moony because he looked absolutely adorable. He looked like he couldn’t quite believe someone would make such a big effort for him. It was like he was waiting for cameras to appear and tell him he’d been punk’ed, that this with Sirius wasn’t actually happening. Sirius locks the doors before re-tangling his fingers with Remus’ and leading him up the stairs. 

The downstairs of the book shop was all the children’s books, they even had a brightly coloured reading corner with tonnes of bean bags for the little ones. It was really cute actually and Sirius could see both Teddy and Leo spending hours flipping through the different pages. It was weirding him out a little, how he kept instinctively thinking of what Leo and Teddy would like and realising things they could do as a family whilst on his date. He’s almost embarrassed by it, but he just loves them both so much that he can’t help but make plans in his head.

”Sirius…I don’t understand how you pulled this off?” Remus frowns, letting himself be guided by Sirius’ soft grip.

”I am beautiful so I often get my own way.” Sirius deadpans, nodding his head as if it were such a chore then laughs at the look on Remus’ face, “I paid them. I think my dashing good looks helped massively though.”

”Of course.” Remus hums in amusement, knowing the bookstore owner was an elderly straight man.

He doesn’t want to know how much Sirius had willingly splashed on this place for the night. Sirius had always had more money than sense. He got left the entire inheritance from his Uncle Alphard,disowned gay to disowned gay and it set him up for life. He might not have had his parents but he didn’t need them, his Uncle had ensured of that. The financial freedom gave Sirius security as a young man, he was able to buy a flat with Remus then move out into his own place when they split up. He could do whatever he wanted with the drop of a hat just by flashing his money. He didn’t try to be boastful though, he kept a lot of his money in savings and now Sirius knew it would be left there until his death for his kids, nieces and nephews.

Sirius covers Remus’ eyes with his hands, grinning to himself as he whispers, “No peeping okay, fiancé?”

”Fiancé.” Remus hums, “I like that.”

”Good because I’m going to be calling you that all the time now.” Sirius whispers, his breath tickling the side of Remus’ neck, “I hope you like this Moons..”

Remus smiles to himself, knowing that he’s so far gone for Sirius that anything Sirius did would have him in bits. Any small romantic gesture, every flirtatious whisper or positive word spoken to him from Sirius was everything. He could do anything and Remus would thank him, he would like anything sweet Sirius did because it was him.

When Sirius uncovers Remus’ eyes, a small gasp leaves his throat again. Sirius had always been a bit of a romantic but Remus had never gotten used to the loving gestures, he always felt undeserving and tonight was no different. He feels tears burning his eyes at the fairy lights on the wall, the duvets and pillows on the floor. It’s something so simple but something so beautiful and so Remus, that he can’t help it. Sirius sees him for who he is and nothing makes him feel more loved than that. Any doubts he had just wash away as Sirius nervously glances at Remus for approval.

”It’s..it’s perfect.” He whispers, meeting Sirius’ eyes, “I love it.”

Sirius exhales dramatically, “Thank god. I thought..maybe you’d like to look around and read some books..”

”What about you?” Remus frowns, “What are you going to do?”

”I’m content with watching you.” Sirius says softly, “I’ve always loved watching you read, you’re very expressive and I can tell when you’ve reached a plot twist or read something pornographic.”

Remus splutters in protest, “I don’t read porn.”

”I flipped through you collection when we lived together Moony. Most of it was porn.” Sirius accuses playfully, waggling his finger at him, “Your cheeks go bright pink and you check around yourself when you’re reading it to make sure no one knows.”

”Shush.”Remus says weakly, rolling his eyes- Sirius was right. He could always feel himself getting flustered like he was intruding on something he shouldn’t be. 

“Andddd I convinced him to turn off the security cameras.” Sirius adds with a wink.

Remus raises his eyebrow, “Ah so there was alternative option for entertainment then?”

Sirius smirks, pulling Remus towards him by his hips, “Tonight is all about you.”

”It’s good there’s all these books then.” Remus nods, “I was thinking of saving myself for marriage this time.”

Sirius’ mouth falls open before he snorts, “As if you’d be able to do that.”

”I feel like I need to now to prove a point.” Remus mumbles stubbornly, ignoring how turned on he is already. 

“Like you could resist fucking me in an empty bookstore. It’s probably your biggest fantasy.”

”Close.” Remus admits.

”Close?” Sirius frowns, “What’s missing?”

”Bowie.”

Sirius’ face lights up as he drags himself away from his fiancé, he fishes for his phone and presses play. David Bowie plays quietly from his phone and Sirius grins widely, extremely proud of himself for finding a solution so quickly. Remus smiles at him, his heart squeezing in his chest delightedly. His fiancé was so cute, he completely misunderstood what Remus meant.

”Is it perfect now?”

”Might not be balls deep in Bowie but I’ll accept I s’pose.”Remus chuckles at the expression on Sirius’ face, “I am joking love, it’s perfect because it’s with you.”

”Aw moons.” Sirius teases, pressing himself right against Remus’ chest, one hand wandering over the bulge in his jeans.

”Fuck.” Remus rasps, his head tilted back and his throat bobbling as Sirius applies pressure, making him harder and harder.

”Do you wanna fuck me in the bookshop Moons?” Sirius asks him, undoing the button on his jeans, swiftly followed by the zip. Sirius doesn’t go further until he sees Remus nodding eagerly, his hazel eyes blown dark with desire.

He presses his lips to Remus jaw and neck, kissing him as Moony gasps above him. Sirius holds Remus close with one hand on his arse and the other down the front of his boxer shorts, lazily stroking his cock. Remus catches Sirius’ mouth with his own, kissing him passionately as Sirius speeds up slightly as he wanks fiancé off.

Remus shudders at the touch, “Stop. I’m going to cum if you don’t stop.”

Sirius smirks, moving his hand away before dropping to his knees with a sinful look in his eyes. He looks so hot looking up at Remus from the floor as he pulls the man’s boxer shorts down, his eyes widening greedily at the large erect penis in front of him. Sirius teases the slit, licking the precome and Remus grips onto his hair, biting his tongue so he isn’t too loud. Public shagging wasn’t really a kink of his or so he thought, he was getting pretty desperate to shag his husband to be against the bookcases. The adrenaline and fear of getting caught just made the entire thing hotter even though Remus knew deep down they wouldn’t. Sirius had paid the guy off but it was still exciting, there was still the thrill of doing something they really shouldn’t be.

Sirius suddenly engulfs Remus length, the tip of his penis hitting the back of his throat as Sirius sucks and licks, his eyes watching Remus’ face as he moans in pleasure. Sirius had always had an talented mouth, he has been told that repeatedly over the years but with Remus he always put that extra bit of effort in. He wanted to make Remus feel so good, wanted to taste his cum so badly.

”Pads..” Remus groans, gripping Sirius hair tighter, his fingers twitching as if he’s trying his best not to fuck his fiancés throat.

Sirius speeds up, knowing how close Remus is. Part of him wants Remus to let go and take charge. He wants his man to stop holding back and to treat him like a fuck toy, but Remus is so close and clearly won’t do what they both desire. Sirius sucks harder, using a hand to tug on the length he can’t deepthroat and finally, his throat and mouth fills with warm cum as Remus shudders his release, his hands going slack in Sirius’ hair. Remus looks down at him, his hands stroking the side of Sirius’ pretty face as Sirius swallows his reward.

”You’re beautiful.” Remus whispers breathlessly, “So so beautiful.”

”What’s wrong Moony?” Sirius asks, standing to his feet, “Don’t lie to me.”

Remus looks away guiltily, “Are you sure you want this? With me? What about Fabian?”

”What about Benjy?” Sirius hits back, folding his arms and narrows his eyes.

”Benjy is just my friend-“

”Did you shag him?”

“No.” Remus shakes his head, “I couldn’t do it.”

Sirius heart sinks, “Because of me?”

Remus nods and sighs, “You’re the only one for me, Sirius.”

“I feel the same about you Rem. I know I’ve been a fucking whore the last couple of years but it’s only because I was missing you so much. I was hurting so bad and that was my escape but it..it doesn’t change how I feel about you.” Sirius tells him, “Whatever you need for security and reassurance, tell me and I’ll do it. I’ll stop talking to Fabian, I won’t even acknowledge him when we go swimming with the boys. I’ll-“

Remus cuts him off with a kiss, smiling at him and shakes his head, “You haven’t got to do any of that. I’m just being stupid. I love you, fiancé.”

”I love you more.” Sirius replies, kissing him again, “You going to fuck me now?”

Remus laughs softly, his hands wandering over Sirius’ body, “Strip for me.”

They’re tangled up naked in the duvet covers when the sun begins to rise. Sirius yawns and stretches, his body aching from all the rounds they had last night. He looks around noticing some books on the floor from when Remus had slammed him against the bookcases. They hadn’t wasted any time making up for years without each other, Sirius isn’t sure he has every reached that many orgasms in one night. He’s sticky with cum, he wants to shower so badly but Remus is curled up besides him and he doesn’t have it in him to wake him.

He takes Remus’ hand in his, circling the palm with his finger and admiring the lifeline on his hand. Remus’ cuts off towards the end, but it looks like he has a long life if you believe in that sort of thing. As a child Sirius would compare palms with everyone on the playground, his was stupidly short and for years he thought it meant he was going to die as a teenager, but here he was in his thirties and still fighting fit.

”What are you doing?” Remus asks him sleepily.

”Looking at your lifeline.” Sirius responds with a shrug, “I don’t believe in it but..I don’t know.”

Remus chuckles to himself, “You want to come back to mine and shower?”

Sirius raises his eyebrows, “Can we shower together?”

”Absolutely.”

The shower takes longer than necessary for obvious reasons, the newly engaged couple can’t seem to keep their hands off one another. Eventually they tear themselves away from each other, long enough to get dressed and Remus agrees to drop Sirius off at James, then reluctantly agrees to be with Sirius when he tells James their news. Remus is certain James will think they’re both fucking insane for getting engaged on their first date but when you know, you know. He has wanted to marry Sirius Black since he was sixteen, he’s been falling for Sirius since he was just thirteen years old. Marriage was the obvious next step, it felt right.

Sirius knocks at James’ door, Lily answers and smiles at them when she lets them in. She doesn’t question the fact that Remus came with him, she knew they had gone on a date together and she can tell it went well with how tired they’re both looking. She’s positive Sirius is walking with a slight limp too, Remus can’t stop smirking to himself.

”It’s a shame Teddy couldn’t stay too.” Lily says as they walk into the kitchen, “We baked cookies, Leo got very creative with the decorating.”

Sirius grimaces, assuming she means he made mess but she opens the fridge to take out a plate of biscuits and points to one in particular. A little stick man behind jail bars with two blue lines coming off his face. Sirius’ heart crumbles, he’d have to get Leo to open up about his feelings a little bit more. He was obviously missing Reggie lots and was clearly still mad at him for getting locked up in the first place.

He looks out of the window and sees Harry and Leo jumping on the trampoline. Leo is having a blast as the two boys bounce up and down as high as they can. Sirius wishes he had a garden, he’d never had a reason for one before as he was rarely home to enjoy it but now he wants to get Leo his own trampoline. It might even save his new couch when that arrives..maybe he should move..get a big enough place for himself and Moony with all their future kids. A spare room for Leo of course..

James comes down stairs, his hair more untamed than usual as he’s just got out of the shower. He grins at his friends, clapping them on the back before looking out the window to instinctively check on the two kids. Lily starts boiling the kettle, Sirius can just make out a tiny tummy and smiles to himself. It’s still early days, still a secret that even he shouldn’t know but Sirius is so excited to be an Uncle again. 

“Sirius has something to tell you.” Remus informs them, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Sirius glances at Remus with a confused expression. He didn’t understand why they weren’t holding hands and announcing it together but the soft look he receives back makes his heart burst, Remus wanted Sirius to tell his chosen family. He didn’t want to take this moment from him as he told James, the man who had rescued him from his abusive parents that he was getting a family of his own. James, however, has already reached the wrong conclusion.

James sits down on one of the stools in his kitchen, his head buried in his hands as he sighs. Lily looks down utterly confused by her husbands dramatics, she glances at Remus and her face relaxes into a smile. James sighs again then slowly lifts his head, looking from Sirius to Remus.

”I am not choosing sides.” James states sternly, “You’re both friends and I am not cutting one out or choosing one over the other. You’ll just have to tolerate each other like you have done the last couple years.”

“What?” Sirius gapes at him.

”Pads sorry mate you know I love you like a brother but Moony is-“

”What do you think is happening?” Remus interrupts astounded.

”The date didn’t work did it? You’ve come to let me down gently.” James mumbles, “I won’t lie I am disappointed because you two wanted each other so badly but if the spark is gone-“

”Thanks for the faith jeez.” Sirius mutters unamused, reaching over to take Remus’ hand in his, “The date went great thanks.”

James frowns, “Then what do you need to talk to me about?”

Sirius grins at up at Remus, “We’re getting married.”

James almost falls of his stool as he stares at them both wordlessly, his eyebrows shooting up comically as he glances between them both. They had to be joking, they had only just started speaking again..

”He’s not joking.” Remus clarifies quietly, his cheeks flushing pink.

”You..you got engaged on your first date?” James blinks at them, “You..h-how?”

”I just asked him.” Sirius shrugs, grinning from ear to ear.

Remus side eyes Sirius, “I’m pretty sure I asked you.”

”No? I asked you.” Sirius insists, turning to look at his fiancé, “I specifically said Remus. Will you marry me? And you said yes.”

”I asked first.” Remus tells him, “I said marry me then.”

”That wasn’t a question.” Sirius says shaking his head, looking over to James and then Lily, “It was definitely me who asked.”

”You wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t say-“

”Baby, I proposed you said yes.” Sirius interrupts fiercely, “I never said yes to your statement.”

Remus rolls his eyes, “So dumb.”

”I’d have said yes if you’d asked.” Sirius whispers, squeezing Remus’ hand tightly, “Stop sulking.”

”I am not sulking.”

”They’re arguing like an old married couple already.” James snorts softly at Lily.

”Congratulations.” Lily says softly, her green eyes shining with tears, “It’s been a long time coming.”

”They literally just had their first date.”

”Our first date in sixteen years yes but it’s not our first date or our first all night fuck fest.” Sirius announces proudly.

”What a fuck fest?”

Sirius’ eyes bulge out of his head as he turns around to see Leo standing at the back door, his knees and palms covered in dirt from the garden. He drops Remus’ hand, his heart aching in his chest as he does and he opens his arms wide for Leo. His nephew jumps towards him, burying himself into his Uncle’s safe arms and grins at him.

”How are you kid?”

”Good! Me and Harry gots a pet snail. We founds it in the garden.” Leo says proudly, then frowns, “So what is it?”

Sirius rubs his lips together in panic, looking at the other three adults for help as they stifle their laughter. Leo was such a curious kid, always asking lots of questions about random things and wanting to know more about things he overheard. He knows he should probably speak to Regulus first but he needs to distract Leo’s inquisitive mind and all he has is the news that’s left him on cloud nine. He wants to shout it from the roof top, he wants the whole world to know he finally got his man.

”I’m getting married!” Sirius tells Leo, unable to contain his smile.

Leo’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, “What?”

”I’m getting married.” Sirius repeats.

”Oh..okay.” Leo looks heartbroken, his eyes filling with tears.

”What? Why are you crying? This is good news.” Sirius tells him, “It’s the best news.”

”You not have room for Leo anymore.” Leo whispers quietly, his voice wobbling as he tells Sirius, “You only has two bedroom.”

Sirius shakes his head, “What? No? Leo you’re still staying with me. Me and Moony aren’t living together yet.”

Leo’s face falls, “Moony?”

”Yeah, Remus.” Sirius points to the man behind him, “Um Teddy’s Dad.”

”You marrying…Teddy’s Daddy..” Leo looks stressed as he runs his hands over his face, “What’s about Teddy’s Mummy?”

”Remus..sorry I meanTeddy’s Daddy and Mummy aren’t together anymore.” Sirius explains softly, adding a little more determination when he says,“Remus is mine.”

”Oh..” Leo looks at Remus then back to Sirius, “Teddy share Leo room?”

“Not right now buddy.” Sirius says reassuringly, “We’re not married yet.”

Leo nods then smiles looking between the two men, “I comes to your wedding?”

”You’re going to be part of the wedding.” Remus tells him, smiling up at Sirius, “You’re going to have an important job.”

”What is it?” Leo whispers excitedly, bouncing on his feet.

”You’ve got to make sure Uncle Siri gets down the aisle.” Remus smiles, “Make sure he doesn’t get cold feet.”

Leo nods determined, “I can do that! I just gets him some fluffy socks!”

Sirius glances at Remus, “I won’t get cold feet.”

Two weeks after they got engaged Remus still hadn’t told Teddy. Sirius’ joy and excitement quickly dried up, he ignored the urge to look at wedding venues online and threw himself into focusing on Leo. He took Leo to visit Regulus three times in two weeks, Regulus looked happier and healthier. It made the visits so much easier for Leo seeing that his Dad was okay. Of course Leo threw Sirius in the deep end announcing Sirius’ engagement to Remus, but Reg could see the doubt in his brothers face.Sirius had never been very good at hiding his feelings.

Once the doubts were there, they were impossible to ignore but Sirius acted like all was fine. He continued to speak to Remus like normal, they went on dates when they both had some kid free time and they shagged like nothing was wrong. Sirius was furious though, he didn’t understand why Remus hadn’t yelled it from the rooftops like he did. He was convinced Remus was getting cold feet and after all that chat about Sirius being the one to runaway.

It was bullshit.

He knew he should stop letting it bubble, he was like a pan waiting to overflow and ruin everything. He should have just asked Remus why he hadn’t told Teddy the news yet instead of letting his paranoia grow.’His paranoia always led to explosive anger, his mean streak was getting ready to strike and he was certain he was going to lose Remus as a result.

They were at the park with all their friends and the children when that moment finally hit. Everyone knew they were engaged, everyone except Teddy, who was possibly the most important person in all of this. Sirius wanted Remus to tell Teddy so that he could bond with Teddy, as far more than a distant family friend he saw a handful of times a year. And if Teddy didn’t like Sirius, then they could call time on the relationship before..well, it was too late for anything hurtful to happen but Teddy was priority.

Remus kept smiling over at Sirius, his hazel eyes twinkling with happiness as his cheeks flushed. Ordinarily Sirius’ insides would turn to mush and his stomach would do back flips but he was just irritated. He looks Remus up down, his tongue running over the inside of his cheek before he turns away. He plasters on a fake smile for Leo, who had run over to ask for a drink. Sirius rams the straw into the cardboard drink container with force, Leo frowning up at him as he wordlessly takes the drink to quench his thirst.

”Why you cross Uncle Siri?” Leo whispers, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

”I’m not cross Leo.”Sirius reassures quickly, offering him a tight smile as Leo slurps noisily, draining every last drop of juice.

Leo thrusts the now empty drink carton at Sirius, before speeding off to join Harry and Teddy on the newly installed roundabout.

James is spinning the children on it, laughing to himself and occasionally jumping on board with them. He was such a big kid at heart and Sirius genuinely didn’t understand where the energy came from. Sirius was drained from the sleepless nights with Leo, recently the kid couldn’t sleep for one reason or another. Mostly it was down to the dreams he has been having about his Daddy leaving for good. Sometimes he screamed in the middle of the night, making Sirius rush into his bedroom as he sobbed about never wanting to leave Sirius.

Sirius looks over at his fiancé and sees him sitting on the bench, he’s watching over the children but he looks heartbroken. He turns like he can feel Sirius’ eyes on him, his hazel eyes weren’t twinkling with happiness anymore and his smile was forced. Sirius’ heart fell through his arse, cold dread washing over him as he realised what he had done.

Unconfidently, he walks over to where Remus is sitting, ensuring to put some distance between them on the park bench. Remus sighs, running his hands through his hair as he mentally prepares himself for the fallout. Sirius’ guilt is replaced by fury, how dare Remus sigh at him like it was his fault?! Remus was the reason they were in the mess! Not him!

“Why haven’t you told Teddy?” Sirius asks him through gritted teeth.

“That’s why you’re mad at me?” Remus blinks in surprise, lifting his head up to look at Sirius full on.

Sirius frowns, “Is there another reason I should be mad at you?”

Remus starts gnawing at his bottom lip anxiously, which does absolutely nothing to help Sirius’ own anxiety.

”Remus?” Sirius pushes gently, “What is it?”

”I..”Remus swallows thickly, his eyes burning with tears, “I don’t want to lose you.”

Sirius moves back a bit, his heart in his throat as he waits for more context, “Did you cheat on me?”

”No. No! Fuck no. Never.” Remus blurts out quickly, “But..fuck..before we got together again..before our first date..before Leo’s allergy on the park. I slept with Dora.”

”You slept with your ex wife?” Sirius clarifies, his mouth dry as Remus nods, “Okay..well I slept with Fabian..”

”Sirius.” Remus says softly, his voice breaking in his throat, “She’s late.”

”Late where?”

Remus closes his eyes for a moment before forcing them open to look at the cloud free sky above him, “She’s late on her period. She’s probably…pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” Sirius breathes out, feeling like he has just been stabbed in the chest, “You’re having a baby with your ex..”

He stands to his feet, feeling incredibly dizzy and unstable as he sways slightly trying to wrap his head around it. They had been talking about having four babies, yet Remus was having them with his ex! It made sense now, why he hadn’t told Teddy anything. Perhaps he wanted to get back with Dora, commit to her and the family they built together.

Sirius feels his chest tightening as the familiar overwhelming anxiety begins to pump through his blood. Recognising the symptoms Remus is on his feet, trying to calm him down and bring him back but Remus can’t fix this one. Not this time, not when he’s the one who caused it. Sirius hands are shaking, his breathing erratic as he looks around the park. Leo notices his Uncle acting weird and alerts James, Sirius sees James reassure him before coming over but everything is blurry and loud and he can’t focus for long.

One second he’s staring at a tree, the next James’ is in front of him talking to him but he can’t hear anything over the sounds of his heavy breathing. He sees Remus, tears streaming down his pretty face, James yelling at him. Leo is standing next to him, his little hand gripping onto Sirius’ shoulder. He looks terrified and Sirius is once again slapped with reality of how he’d be a terrible Father.

Leo suddenly wraps his arms around Sirius, instinctively Sirius hugs him back and feels his heart rate slow down. He’s inhaling shakily, but he isn’t panicking anymore as he holds his nephew close.

”I’m sorry kid.” Sirius whispers, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

”It’s okay Uncle Siri.” Leo smiles back, “Daddy has the hard breathing sometimes too and cuddles always make him feel better.”

Sirius wants to cry, Leo was the sweetest little boy in the whole entire world. He doesn’t even realise what he had just done by giving Sirius that hug, he runs off to play with his friends again, none the wiser of his Uncle’s poor mental health. James has his arm held out against Remus’ chest, stopping the taller man from approaching. Sirius weakens and looks past James and straight at his fiancé, his heart shattering at the devastation on his face.

”Do you love me?” Sirius asks quietly, “Or do you want to be with her? I-I get it if you choose her..”

”I don’t.” Remus says quickly, “I don’t love her. I love you Padfoot.”

”But you will have two children with her Remus.” Sirius mumbles, fiddling with the rings on his fingers, “I don’t want to get in the way.”

Remus shoves James’ arm away, rushing forward to hold Sirius’ shaking hands in his, “You could never be in the way. You’re my everything, Sirius. I love you so much. I hate that I’ve hurt you so badly, but it changes nothing. I still love and want you, regardless of the result of Dora’s test. I just.. I had to tell you before I told Teddy we were engaged incase you didn’t want me anymore.”

”When is she doing the test?” Sirius whispers, feeling a wave of nausea hit him.

”I’m waiting for the results right now actually.” Remus whispers, his throat tight as he looks around the park, “It’s up to you Pads. I won’t hate you if you leave. I fucked this up.”

“I love you too much to leave.” Sirius says quietly, hating himself for being so pathetically attached to Remus, “I’ll try and support you with this if she is..but I can’t promise..because the idea alone makes me..” Sirius shakes his head, “I feel sick.”

Remus’ phone buzzes in his pocket, Sirius freezes, his grey eyes going wide as James runs his hand through his hair. He looks as stressed as Sirius feels, Remus slowly removes his hands from Sirius’, reaching aimlessly for his phone in his back pocket. The three men wait with baited breath, Sirius closes his eyes unable to watch Remus’ reaction. His mind goes into overdrive as he imagines the different scenarios and endings of the result.

”It’s negative.” Remus breathes out.

James sights in relief, “Sorry I yelled at you, Moony.”

Sirius forces his eyes open, “You’re sure?”

Remus hands Sirius the phone, an image of not one but three negative tests on the screen. He nods as he hands the phone back to Remus, part of him feeling oddly disappointed. If they had a second baby together, Sirius’ would’ve been step-Dad to two amazing kids. He knew he was stupidly broody as logically he would’ve been a jealous bastard but the idea of seeing Remus holding a tiny newborn or the thought of Teddy’s face when he got told the news he was going to be a big brother…

”We should have a baby soon.” Sirius decides with a nod.

James laughs loudly, shaking his head in disbelief as he walks away to where the children are playing hide and seek. It was absurd, the men had just got engaged on their first date and were talking babies already. Remus chuckles softly, putting his phone back in his pocket.

”I think we have to tell Teddy we’re getting married first.” Remus whispers, “If you still want to.”

”Of course I do.” Sirius smiles, wiping his tears away, “I want it so badly.” 

“Me too.”

Sirius sniffles, “You want to tell him now?”

Remus shakes his head, “I want us to tell him together but I think we should do it another day when it’s just the four of us.”

”Four?”

”Leo.”

”He already knows..”

Remus shrugs, “Leo will still enjoy ice cream though Pads. I think tomorrow we should take them and sit Teddy down and tell him together..”

”How do you think he will react?”

Remus shrugs again, “I’m really not sure..”

Chapter Text

Teddy and Leo both gasp before they exchange wide eyed looks as the ice cream sundaes are placed in front of them. They’re absolutely enormous! They both have vanilla ice cream with strawberry sauce, sprinkles and fresh strawberries on the top. Teddy originally wanted chocolate but changed his mind when he found out what Leo was having as he wanted to match with his bestest friend. The two boys sat next to each other, their legs swinging back and fourth beneath the booth as they ate big mouthfuls and laughed at each others ice cream covered faces.

Remus and Sirius were far too nervous to consume anything, Sirius had never felt so sick in his life. What if Teddy didn’t like him as much as everyone said? What if Teddy didn’t want Sirius to insert himself into his Daddy’s life? What if he would prefer his Mummy and Daddy to get back together and saw Sirius as a threat to that?

’Say thank you to Sirius, Teddy.’ Remus signs to his son.

Teddy drops his spoon mid bite to sign, ’Thank you Sirius. It is super yummy!’

’You’re welcome sweetheart.’

Teddy picks up his spoon again, dipping it into the sticky strawberry sauce to taste it. Remus begins to sign again, making Teddy roll his eyes.

’We have something to tell you Ted.’

Teddy’s eyes dart back and fourth between Remus and Sirius, waiting for one of them to begin signing.

’Me and Sirius are getting married.’

”Oh!”Leo says with a mouthful of ice cream, “He knows that already.”

Remus glances at Leo, “What?”

”Leo?” Sirius asks, grimacing slightly as he pushes his hair out of his face, “Did you tell Teddy?”

”Oh yes.” Leo admits, “I not know I not allowed. I just says to him ooh I so exciteds to share my room with you! And he thought I was crazy so I say because your Daddy and my Uncle Siri are getting married, duh! And he calls me fibber and I says nuh I not! I am Leo-”

“Okay thanks Leo.” Sirius mumbles, looking at Remus nervously.

’Is that okay Teddy?’ Remus asks him, worrying that Teddy had found out from someone else instead of his Daddy.

Teddy huffs in annoyance as he puts his spoon back down, ‘Yes. I can’t wait to share a room with Leo! It’s going to be the best fun!’

’Sleepovers every night!’ Leo signs eagerly, grinning as Teddy nods in agreement.

‘Can I eat my ice cream now or will you sign to me again?’ Teddy asks, slightly irritated at being interrupted.

’Eat away kid.’ Sirius chuckles, watching as Teddy takes the biggest mouthful he can.

Teddy pauses for a moment, placing his spoon down yet again and frowns as he gets his Dad's attention by waving his hand, ‘What about my Mummy?’

’Mummy and Daddy aren’t together anymore Teddy, you know that.’

’But won’t she be sad and lonely?’

’Don't worry Teddy!’ Leo adds, attempting to comfort his bestie, ‘I will marry your Mummy so she is not sad or lonely.”

Teddy glares at Leo murderously as he sternly shakes his head. Leo absolutely wasn’t marrying his Mummy thank you very much. He was too young to get married and that would make Leo his new Daddy and that was weird. Leo tucks back into his ice cream, thinking he had solved all of Teddy’s worries about his Mummy. When actually Teddy could think of nothing worse than Leo marrying his Mummy.

‘Teddy, Mummy and Daddy both love you very very much. Nothing will change. You will still spend time at Mummy’s and at Daddy’s.’

’What about Sirius?’ Teddy asks pointing at the man who blushes a little as he wonders if Teddy approves or not.

Remus shrugs, ‘He will live with me eventually but not yet. Not until we’re married.’

Teddy looks lost and it tugs on Sirius’ heartstrings, he’s only three and all of this must be so confusing in his little head. His parents splitting and having two homes instead of one, the man from Harry’s birthday parties suddenly being engaged to his Daddy. Sirius doesn’t expect Teddy to warm up to him straight away but Sirius had always been a little protective over him. He remembers the day Remus told himself, James and Peter that Teddy was deaf. He remembers the way Remus sobbed as he tried to wrap his head around all the challenges his son would face as he grew up. Sirius had shed a tear later that night, but he knew Teddy would adapt and figure it out. Being deaf would never hold the child back from doing great things. He had wished so badly there was more that he could do for them both, but himself and Remus weren’t really friends back then let alone anything more.

‘I love you too Teddy. The way I love Leo. I’d really like to hang out with you and get to know you better, if that’s alright with you?’

Teddy slowly nods, ‘Are you my Daddy too?’

’Thats up to you Teddy. Whatever makes you feel best. I can be Daddy or Sirius or Padfoot or lazy man, whatever makes Teddy happiest.’

’Okay…lazy man.’ Teddy giggles, making Leo laugh loudly and chant ‘lazy man’ over and over again.

Sirius just laughs fondly at the two ice cream covered kids, there was nothing sweeter than the sound of their laughter. He glances at his Moony, the man is already smiling at him, a look in his eyes as they both silently agree it couldn’t have gone any better. Leo might have already told Teddy but he had done it accidentally and in a way that made Teddy excited. They had manage to answer difficult questions and Teddy seemed elated to get to call Sirius ‘lazy man’. Sirius was going to do his best to earn Teddy’s trust and approval, no one mattered more to him than the two children across the table and the man sat besides him. They were his entire world and nothing would ever take them from him.

After their ice creams, Leo begs and pleads to go to the park. It was his absolute favourite place to go especially now they had a roundabout. Yesterday he span on it for hours making himself dizzy and stumbling around the park afterwards whilst trying to walk in a straight line. It’s starts to lightly trickle with rain, the dark clouds above indicating a storm so Sirius says no to every beg and flutter of eyelashes. In the end, Leo strops in the back of Remus’ car, his arms crossed and an infamous Black family scowl on his face. Leo was so used to having his own way that being told no was a shock to the four year olds system. He was extremely grumpy about it. Sirius rarely said no about anything.Teddy tries to sign to him to cheer him up, but Leo stubbornly glares out of his window, ignoring his friend as they drove to Sirius’ flat instead of the park.

Teddy starts sulking too, pouting sadly towards Leo as he waits for his friend to give him attention. The three year old falls asleep a couple of minutes later, exhausted from his morning running around with Leo and eating lots of ice cream until he felt sick. Sirius turns the radio up slightly when his favourite Harry Styles song plays and Leo snaps his head away from the window and towards him.

”TURN IT DOWN! Teddy sleeping!” He snaps furiously, “Don’t wake him, he only little!”

”Its alright Leo.” Remus reassures softly, “Teddy can’t hear it.”

Leo frowns, “He not hear nuffin? It all quiet? He not hear car or mo-carbike or Harry Styles?”

”He can hear very little, but he can’t hear cars or motorbikes or Harry Styles no.” Remus smiles sadly, focusing on the road ahead as the rain comes down harder.

”He talk-ed to me before.” Leo nods smiling happily, “He say hi to me. I not know he talk.”

Remus’ smile widens brightly, his eyes shining with tears, “Yeah..he does that sometimes. He only talks when he really really likes someone.”

”We are bestest friends.” Leo announces proudly, “He my bestest friend. I like when Teddy talks.”

”Me too.” Remus agrees.

Sirius watches as Remus and Leo talk away, Sirius had no idea that Teddy talked sometimes. As far as he knew Teddy was mute, didn’t speak and relied on signing. He didn’t know the kid talked occasionally. He wonders what Teddy’s voice sounded like, if he spoke with a slight welsh twinge at all like his Dad as he’d learnt words from lipreading the welsh man. Although Remus hadn’t lived in Wales since he was eight, he’d always had a very slight accent.

”He talk quiet.” Leo says, “He shy.”

”Yeah that’s right.” Remus nods, glancing at Sirius, “He is shy about his voice. It’s a little bit different to our voices.”

Leo hums and glances over at a snoring Teddy, his mouth his hung open as he sleeps. “I like his voice. It make me happy.”

”I think he will talk more now he has you.” Remus says as a single tear rolls down his face, “He’s never had a best friend before. I didn’t think he would at least not until he was older and met other deaf kids. You’re amazing Leo.”

”Thanks Teddy’s Daddy.” Leo grins happily, sitting up straighter in the car seat as they turn down Sirius’ street.

”Teddy is amazing too.” Sirius whispers to Remus.

”I know.” Remus smiles back, he was just thankful Leo had come into their lives when he did. He had changed so many lives, Remus knows himself and Sirius wouldn’t be sat in the same car right now if it weren’t for Leo.

”DADDY!” Leo suddenly yells, trying to stand up in his seat as he strains towards the window, “DADDY! DADDY! ITS MY DADDY!”

Sirius looks over Remus’ side of the car, his eyes widening in shock at the sight of his very soaked younger brother standing outside the flats. He is wearing all black, his hair sticking to his face as he attempts to hide from the heavy rainfall underneath a tree.

”DADDY! DADDY!” Leo repeats excitedly as Remus pulls over,he tugs impatiently on the door handle as if he’s being held hostage,“Let me out! Let me out! That’s my Daddy!”

Remus leans over to the back to undo Leo’s buckles as Sirius undoes his own seatbelt. Leo opens the car door and hops out, rushing straight towards his Dad. Regulus crouches down,his arms held wide open for Leo as the four year old hurdles right towards him almost tripping over his own feet in his eagerness. His tiny arms wrap around Reggie's neck as he buries his head into Regulus’ chest. Regulus stands up, his arms wrapped around his baby as he holds him close. Tears falling down his face as he sobs, never wanting to let his little boy go again.

”I’ll call you later.” Sirius tells Remus as he looks towards Regulus in utter confusion.

Remus nods as he squeezes his fiancés hand, “Love you.”

”I love you too.” Sirius smiles, quickly kissing Remus’ lips before getting out of the car.

He waves Remus off before walking towards his brother and nephew, who are still hugging each other tightly. Leo is crying in his Daddy’s arms as he holds on, his legs wrapped around Regulus’ waist as Reg soothes his back and attempts to reassure him. His own eyes are bloodshot, his cheeks flushed from crying as he buries his head into sons hair and takes some time to recompose himself.

The last few weeks had been absolute hell, even though Sirius had brought Leo to visit him,it hadn’t been the same. They were only allowed to hug for fifteen seconds, they weren’t allowed to hold hands or even sit besides each other. Being prisoner for a crime he hadn’t even committed had ruined his life and he never wanted to end up back in that place. He never wanted to part with Leo ever again. Leo had grown so much in the weeks Regulus had been away, it pained him to think what all that extra time would have made him miss out on. He was so grateful his good friend Dorcas Meadowes had been able to get him out even sooner. She was the reason he got to be there right now, hugging his son and watching his brother approach.

”Let’s get in from the rain eh?” Sirius suggests, offering Regulus a small smile.

Regulus nods as Leo holds onto him even tighter, “I missed you Daddy.”

“I missed you too Leo.” Regulus whispers back as he follows Sirius into the building, “I missed you so so much. I missed you so much my sweet sweet boy. Don’t cry, don’t cry.” He soothes as Leo sobs, “I’m here. I’m right here. Shhh. I’ve got you Leo. I’m right here baby.”

“Please don’t leave me again.” Leo begs, his tiny voice cracking as tears stream down his face, “Please don’t go Daddy.”

”I’m not going anywhere sweetheart.” Regulus tells him, rubbing his back as he presses a kiss to his temple, “I promise Leo, I’m not going anywhere.”

”You pwomised that last time.” Leo reminds him, pouting slightly as he pulls away to look at his Dad’s face, “You lied.”

Regulus’ heart shatters as his four year old looks at him accusingly, the trust none existent in his eyes. Reggie begins shaking his head and stammering nervously, he never wanted his son to doubt him or his word. It was true though. After Leo’s Mummy died, Regulus had vowed to never leave him but Leo had watched as he was forced into the back of a police car in handcuffs. The terrified look in Leo’s eyes was something Regulus wasn’t going to forget in a hurry. It had haunted him every night and day in prison. Regulus had been taken from Leo in the midst of healing, he was finally recovering from losing his Mum and then his Dad was taken. It was a lot for anyone let alone someone so young. Reggie knew he had to make it up to him, earn back his child’s trust and he needed his big brothers help.

“Do you want a brew?” Sirius offers when they get inside his flat.

Regulus can’t help but look around, almost laughing at the broken sofa and felt tip ruined rug. He sees signs of his son everywhere he looks and he knows Leo has been so loved and so well looked after by Sirius. The tiny handprints on the glass balcony doors, the random toys scattered about the floor and a single lego figure on the TV stand. Regulus’ heart bursts when he notices an array of Leo’s drawings stuck to Sirius’ fridge/freezer, his older brother had always disliked children but it looked like Leo had truly been welcomed with open arms.

Admittedly, Regulus had lost sleep over it especially at the beginning. Even when Barty and Evan had relayed their information and versions of events about Sirius and Leo, he still had that undeniable fear. He figures it’s part of being a parent, because even if Leo was in LA with the two people Regulus trusts with everything- he would still have doubts creeping in and unshakeable fears. Having Leo back in his arms is all he had wanted for the last three months, it was all he needed to feel at home and here he was. Home at last.

“Yeah that’d be nice.” Regulus says, realising he hadn’t answered yet and his brother was still looking at him.

”Still have it black with two sugars?”

Regulus nods, “Thanks.”

”Daddy?” Leo asks quietly, “Can I show you my bedroom?”

Regulus looks over at Sirius for permission as he boils the kettle. Sirius gives him a confused smile as he nods, as if it were bizarre Regulus was asking for consent to look around Sirius’ place. Both brothers knew they had a lot to unpack and talk about, neither of them would dare do it in front of little ears though. Leo drags his Dad by his hand, pulling him around the flat towards his bedroom. He is so excited to show Regulus what Uncle Siri did for him, Regulus doesn’t mean to but he bursts into tears when he sees it. Leo hugs his legs telling him not to cry, but he can’t stop because his big brother really loved his nephew and it was all Regulus could possibly have wished for. He is so grateful and relieved that Leo didn’t end up at Grimmauld Place. He owed Sirius a hell of a lot, he knows that. He sprang his child on him out of nowhere and Sirius just accepted him and loved him.

”Don’t cry Reggiekins.” Sirius teases lightly as he hands him a mug of warm tea which Regulus warms his hands with as Leo starts getting toys out to show his Daddy.

”Thank you.” Regulus whispers, “For everything.”

Sirius shrugs sheepishly, “I think I should be thanking you actually. Leo..he’s mint. He changed my life really..”

”Uncle Siri is getting married!” Leo tells his Daddy excitedly, “But not to his boyfren he was kissing naked!!!!”

Regulus pretends to gasp, “Scandalous.”

”He marrying Teddy’s Daddy!” Leo announces, “I gots a big job in the wedding! I got to give Uncle Siri fluffy socks so his feet not cold!”

”Fluffy socks?” Regulus frowns, shaking his head fondly as he sips his drink before turning to Sirius, “Teddy’s Daddy eh?”

“Yeah.”Sirius blushes, “I never stopped loving him.”

”Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out.” 

Leo grabs his bunny off the bed, bouncing on his knees happily. In all the time Leo has been in Sirius’ care, he’s never seen him shine as brightly as this. Being around his Daddy again, in a normal setting he’s comfortable in has made Leo the happiest little boy in the universe. It’s so obvious how much Regulus loves Leo, so obvious that their childhood abuse never turned Regulus into their parents and Sirius is comforted by the knowledge he never did either. He’s nothing like Walburga and Orion, he loves Leo with his whole heart and he knows he is capable of loving Teddy and his future siblings the same. He knows he can raise them feeling loved, happy and safe. History will not repeat itself. The abused don’t have to become the abusers. His parents will never win. Sirius will be happy and lord knows they will hate it.

Nox is elated to see her owner, purring and rubbing her head on Regulus’ knees and then she proudly marches her three kittens over to Lee them. Regulus finally believing Nox is a girl as he strokes the kittens in wordless disbelief. He had Nox for years and never once questioned what the previous owner said. Realistically he knows he can’t keep them all, but they’re adorable.. he’s always preferred cats to any other animal and it wasn’t like he didn’t have room in his house.

Leo doesn’t let his Daddy out of his sight, when he plays with his toys he makes sure his eyes can always find his Dad in the room. When he needs the toilet he cries and begs his Dad to go with him. At tea time, he sits on Regulus’ knee as they eat a Leo approved meal from Sirius’ list. At bed time, Regulus tells him several stories about Peter Pan as he strokes Leo curls. The four year old fights sleep for three hours until eventually, his eyes flutter shut and he begins snoring lightly in his Spider-Man bedroom, holding onto this stuffed bunny.

Regulus sneaks out, praying Sirius is still awake as he wasn’t sure where he was heading for the night. His house keys were at Pandora’s place and he didn’t want to bother her at this time of night. Luckily Sirius is awake, a cool beer in his hand as he sits on the broken sofa with the white kitten across his knee fast asleep. He turns his head towards Regulus when he hears his footsteps, smiling in relief that Leo had finally fallen asleep.

”Beers in the fridge if you want one.” Sirius tells him, stroking the top of the kittens head.

”I don’t drink.” Regulus smiles, sitting down on the arm rest of the sofa, staring at his big brother, “I really am grateful Siri. Thank you for not..”

”You ain’t got to thank me. I already told you.” Sirius says, sipping his beer, “Leo saved my life.”

Regulus looks startled, “Saved your life?”

“I don’t think things would have gotten better if he didn’t come into my life when he did. I was out drinking every weekend, doing different drugs and sleeping with random men..”Sirius shrugs, “I think I always wanted a family you know? But I just..”

”Didn't trust yourself?” Regulus guesses with a tight smile, “I felt the same..I nearly ran from him you know? When Saria told me she was pregnant, I was ready to jump on a plane and disappear. Not because we were having a baby, but because I was scared I’d be like our parents. The idea of hurting my child knocked me sick.. I really thought it was normal, the way we were treated..I thought..I thought..”

“I know.” Sirius nods, shifting closer whilst holding the sleepy kitten, “I get it Reggie.”

Regulus’ eyes are filled with tears, “I thought all parents punished their children like that when they were bad..but we didn’t even do anything wrong… we just..existed..we were just children..” His voice breaks painfully, “I could never imagine beating Leo for accidentally smashing a vase or locking in a cupboard without food because he was talking too much..I couldn’t..and even now, I still..I don’t understand why they did? Why didn’t they love us?”

“It isn’t your fault Reggie. People like that aren’t capable of love, they didn’t even love each other. The only thing Mother loved was her reflection and making us cry.”

”I’m sorry I never stuck up for you like you did for me.” Regulus whispers, tears burning his grey eyes, “I should have done more. I should have done something.”

”Reg, you were a child.”Sirius tells him, “I didn’t blame you for any of that.”

”You took my punishments.”

”Because I am your big brother. I wanted to protect you.” Sirius whispers, reaching his hand out to squeeze Regulus’, “You were my first baby you know? Other than the Nannies, it was me who looked after you..”

Regulus nods silently, tears streaming down his face, “I remember. You taught me how to tie my laces and how to kick a football. Taught me how to spell my name too. You would always sneak into my room to tell me stories, do you remember that? You told me stories about a magical black dog named snuffles. You would stay until I fell asleep, especially on nights the beatings were bad..”

”I remember Reggie.” Sirius smiles stiffly, tears filling his own eyes as he revisits their traumatic childhood for the first time in forever. He’d blocked a lot of it out, forced it out of his head but as he sat besides his little brother it all started coming back.

”You’re the reason I knew I could be a good Dad to Leo.” Regulus tells him, “I knew our parents were wrong to hit us, but I remember how you would clean my wounds, kiss my forehead and tell me I was brave. I remembered everything you taught me and how gentle you always were and I knew that’s who I had to be for him. I knew I could be a good Dad because I had the best big brother in the world to raise me.”

”Reg..”Sirius’ voice cracks and he downs his beer, “I need more alcohol to get through this chat I think. I haven't thought about our childhood in depth since I left. I just tried to block it all out.”

Regulus nods, “I tried but I left lots later than you did. Even Cissy ran away from the family.”

”She did?” Sirius’ eyes shoot up in surprise.

”She found out she was pregnant about two years before Leo was born. She fled and no one ever saw her again…like when Andy fled.” Regulus buries his face in his hands, “As an adult, I realised they didn’t make it Sirius. I’m not sure about Cissy..but Andy, they were killed.”

”Killed?” Sirius repeats slowly, the word foreign on his lips, “What do you mean killed?”

”Andy was always saying they were in the wrong body, remember? They tried to flee with that Edward Tonks, but they both went missing.” Regulus closes his eyes guiltily, “I overheard Father and Uncle Cygnus talking about how they were both dealt with. That’s the dirt I had on the family. I just didn’t know where the bodies were.”

Sirius is as white as a sheet, his mind spinning as he sits back in the sofa, his head resting against the back of it. For years he thought his favourite cousin has escaped, for years he dreamt of the day he found Andy and they could reunite. For years he had hope that he wasn’t the only one who got away untouched..but Andy was killed. They had runaway when Sirius was still a child, they were still a teenager and they had been murdered at the hands of their own parents.

“They found the bodies didn’t they?” Sirius realises.

Regulus nods sadly, “That’s why I’m out. I gave them everything they needed to take down the Black family criminal empire and Tom Riddle.”

”They’ve been arrested?”

”Not yet.. some of them are on the run.” Regulus whispers, “Lucius Malfoy for example. He’s vanished.”

”And Cissy? What about her body?”

”No.” Regulus shakes his head, “None of the bodies found were hers. She could have made it…maybe, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. She was always my favourite cousin, like Andy was yours. I am sorry about Andy, I know how much you loved them.”

Sirius nods, his throat dry, he couldn’t really wrap his head around everything just yet. He still had so many questions he wanted answering before his brother changed his mind, ”When I was disowned..Mother and Father said-“

”Don’t believe them now Siri. You know what happened to Andy now, you know where they ended up when they tried to flee. You were disowned. You were granted your freedom.” Regulus explains, “If I came with you, I would have been fleeing without permission. They would have killed us both. I stayed so you could be free.”

”But you left when Leo was born?”

Regulus shakes his head, “I…when Saria was dying, I said I had to be with my wife..no one questioned it. Then I told them I wasn’t focusing on the business because my wife was dead. Tom Riddle…he got it. He didn’t realise I was hiding things or attempting to go against them so I could be freed. He just gave me the space to grieve my wife. When he realised, they swiped first but it was careless and quick. People with great power often underestimate the power of waiting patiently. Everything is falling into place and all of them will be dealt with, there’s too much evidence against them all.”

”You’re amazing Reggie.” Sirius says awestruck, “I never would have been able to think like that..”

”You’ve never been as smart as me.” Regulus teases lightly, stifling a yawn, “Now I get to be back with Leo and that’s all that really matters.”

Sirius smiles and nods, his heart suddenly sinking as he realises what this means, “Y-yeah course.” 

“I mean..I can’t go home yet.. not until all of them have been arrested.” Regulus smirks knowingly, “Leo’s bed is big enough for two right?”

”Absolutely.” Sirius beams, “Yes. You can stay as long as you want. It’s good to have you back.”

Regulus smiles, his eyes meeting Sirius’ as he admits, “I really missed you,Siri.”

“I missed you too.”

Chapter Text

Leo’s screams wake the two men from their unexpected slumber on the broken sofa, they had accidentally fallen asleep as they bonded and chatted about all sorts of shit. They just wanted to spend time fixing their relationship, becoming brothers again as they had once been. Sirius groans, his back aching uncomfortably from the position he’d fell asleep in as Regulus jumps up to his feet.

”UNCLE SIRI!” Leo wails, sobbing hysterically.

Regulus freezes on his way to Leo’s room, glancing back at his older brother. He offers him a tight smile and a gentle nod of the head as he moves back toward the sofa. He knows Leo needs to get used to him again but he’d be lying if he said that hadn’t hurt. It was like his heart had been cracked open like an egg, all his feelings being crushed as Sirius stands to his own feet. Sirius looks and feels incredibly guilty, it wasn’t his son but Regulus was adamant that Sirius go ahead.

Leo is sat up straight in bed, clutching his bunny in his arms as tears stream down his little face. He looked paralysed with fear and Sirius feels his heart sink at the sight of him. The four year old had a few bad nights since moving in with his Uncle, mostly they were about Regulus leaving him or Leo not being able to stay with Sirius anymore. It hurt a lot, hearing Leo’s little voice break as he tried to explain what was happening inside his mind. Often he got frustrated as he struggled to express himself and get the right words out. It was one of the hardest parts about being a grown up and trying to look after a kid.

He reminded Sirius a lot of Regulus in these moments, not just because of the fear-filled grey eyes, the black hair slicked against his forehead with sweat and the wobbling pink lip. But because of how he sat in bed, clutching the bunny tightly as if the stuffed animal could protect him from the cruel outside world or the monsters of the night. Mostly though, it was the way Leo would instinctively rest against Sirius the second he sat beside him and relax into his arms as he cried. Regulus had done the same, silently sobbing into his older brothers arms about how scared he was. Sirius felt like he was better equipped with Leo, he was older now but sometimes it felt like he was taken back in time. Sometimes Leo’s room was unrecognisable in the dark and it almost felt like he was a child again himself, holding his brother whilst holding his breath and praying they didn’t get caught by their Mother.

”What happened kid?” Sirius asks gently, rubbing Leo’s back as the child hiccuped between sobs.

”My D-Daddy.”

Sirius frowns, adjusting their positions so they were eye to eye, “Your Daddy?”

”He gone.”

Sirius closes his eyes and shakes his head, “Reggie!” He calls softly, “Come here.”

The bedroom door clicks open, Regulus walks in timidly carrying a mug of warm milk for Leo, “Hey.”

Leo sits up, his eyes widen with shock, “You really here? You nots gone?”

“No baby, I’m still here.” Regulus tells him, setting the milk down on the bedside table besides the Spider-Man nightlight, “I told you, I’m never leaving you again.”

”I foughts it was a dream.” Leo says sleepily, “I foughts thats it was all in my dreams.”

Regulus sits on the opposite side to Sirius, ruffling Leo’s hair messily. Leo grabs his Dads hand off of him and scowls at him. Sirius can’t help but laugh at the child’s expression, he looked so much like Reg-

“He looks just like you when he does that face.” Regulus laughs.

Sirius cocks his eyebrow, “Excuse me? He actually looks like your double doing that.” Sirius protests, “He is your son.”

”That’s a Sirius scowl that is.” Regulus snorts “You were always scowling as a child.”

”I did not and do not scowl.” Sirius says as he tries his best not to scowl, his eyebrows furrowing slightly and betraying him.

”Shush.” Leo says as he settles back onto his pillow, “I sleepy.”

”Do you want us to stay?” Regulus asks hesitantly, unsure if maybe Leo just wanted Sirius.

Leo nods, reaching out a hand to cling to his Daddy and stretches his foot across Sirius’ lap, “Don’t go.”

”We won’t buddy.” Sirius promises, watching as Regulus strokes Leo’s hair tenderly, “We will stay.”

”Good.” Leo murmurs sleepily, his eyes heavy as he struggles to stay away.

Sirius smiles down at him, his eyes filling with tears as light snores fill the room, “I’m going to miss him so much.”

Regulus’ head snaps up towards Sirius, “Why? Where are you going?”

”Nowhere.” Sirius says instantly, “I just mean..he won’t be here everyday anymore when you go back to your house and it’s going to be so weird..”Sirius bites the inside of his cheek whilst he thinks, “I mean..my whole life revolves around him now..I don’t know what to do when he’s gone anymore.”

”Plan your wedding.. maybe?” Regulus suggests with a shrug, “And I hope you realise you’ll be having him overnight at least twice a month so I can sleep and have sex.”

”I do not need to know what you intend to do with your spare time Reg.” Sirius says with disgust, “But yeah, I’ll have him whenever you need. Just say the words and I’ll drop everything for him..no matter what.”

Regulus smiles softly, “Thank you. I know I said it already but thank you for loving him.”

”I’m gonna call Moons.” Sirius decides with a sigh, “I realise I never text him and knowing him he will be waiting up for the message.”

He feels emotional and tired, he knows the drinking during his and Reggie's heart to heart won’t have helped but he is so happy to have his little brother back. There was a time he really thought he’d never have anything to do with him again. Now he thinks the years apart may have done them a favour, made them appreciate each other more and the miss made them love each other stronger. Sirius is certain there is nothing in the world Regulus could do that would have Sirius walk away. He will be there for his little brother and his nephew for the rest of their lives. He despises the years he had without them both, he refuses to do that again.

Sirius settles back down on the sofa, cold glass of water in hand as he rings his fiancé. It’s past midnight, but he knows what Remus is like. It doesn’t take long for Remus to answer, less than three rings and the poor man in frantically saying hello whilst heavy breathing.

”Hey.” Sirius replies smiling fondly, “You’re still up?”

”Yes?” Remus frowns, wasn’t it obvious why? Sirius had said he would text him.

”You can breathe.” Sirius laughs, a smile on his face as he hears Remus take a deep breath. 

“What happened?”

Sirius feels his heart drop at the question, his smile disappearing as he remembers everything Regulus had said. He doesn’t know where to start, isn’t sure which piece of information to feed him first. He doesn’t want to keep secrets or lie to Remus ever again, but the second he says them out loud..they’re real.

”Sirius?” Remus coaxes gently, his voice painfully small, “What happened love?”

Sirius doesn’t even realise he’s been crying until he feels a tear fall onto his lap, followed by another and another until he’s sobbing. His heart aching and cracking painfully inside his chest as he tries to find the right words. There are none, of course because how do you tell someone that a person you love is gone. Sirius hates himself for never trying to find Andy. He was disowned and it never occurred to him to search for them.

”I-I got out M-Moons.” Sirius chokes out, “I..I’m alive.”

”Yeah..you’re alive love. You’re safe and-“

”Andy didn’t get out.” Sirius manages to say, his voice strained in his throat as the tears burn his eyes, “They didn’t get out Remus. Andy is dead. My family..they killed them and Ted.. they..they didn’t get out Remus.”

”Oh, sweetheart.” Remus breathes, “I’m so sorry love. I’m so so sorry.”

Sirius breathing stutters as he cries harder, “I think C-Cissy is dead too.”

”Can I come and see you?” Remus asks hesitantly, “It’s okay if you just want to be with Reg though.”

”N-no please come.” Sirius sobs, “Please.”

”I’ll be there soon love.” Remus promises, “I love you.”

”I love you too.”

Remus arrives less than half an hour later, a bag of food in his hands that he begins putting away in the cupboards. Sirius wraps his arms around Remus’ waist, his chin resting on his shoulder as Remus begins boiling the kettle. He smiles softly to himself, once again regretting all the years they missed together all because Sirius was too stubborn to act on his feelings. Remus turns around, wrapping his own arms around Sirius and kissing his head softly. It was nearing three in the morning, little Leo would be waking in just a few hours but it was clear Sirius wasn’t going to be able to sleep.

Remus brings a hand up to cup his fiancés face, rubbing his face gently with his thumb as he looks deeply into Sirius’ eyes. He was so in love with Sirius Black, the way he felt for him never stopped. He indicates with his head towards Sirius’ bedroom door, a questioning look in his eyes. He didn’t want to do anything, he just wanted to hold Sirius and see if he would go to sleep. It looked as though he definitely needed it, the bags under his eyes and the red blotchy skin from crying making him look exhausted.

”You trying to seduce me Moons?”

”No Sirius.” Remus snorts gently, “I want you to try and sleep for awhile.”

”I can’t.” Sirius shakes his head, his eyes wide with fear. He knows he fell asleep earlier but that was with Reg after drinking alcohol, he was far more sober now and he couldn’t escape the thoughts in his head if it was quiet.

”I have a present for you.” Remus tells him, shuffling away a little.

”Is it your cock?”

Remus raises his eyebrow, a small flustered smirk on his face, “No.”

“Pity.”

”Behave.” Remus scolds him playfully, rummaging in his coat pocket, clutching his hand around something.

He walks back towards Sirius, his heart racing in his chest as Sirius stares up at him with his blood shot grey eyes. Remus smiles at him, using his free hand to brush curls out of his face and presses a kiss to his forehead. 

“I got this for you a few years ago..” He tells him in a whisper.

Sirius frowns, his face falling when he realises what it could be, “Moony..”He gasps, bringing his hands to cover his mouth as Remus drops to his knee.

”Will you marry me?” Remus asks, a blinding grin plastered across his face.

“Fuck off.” Sirius gapes, “Are you joking?”

Remus laughs, “We’re already engaged? Of course I’m not joking. I just thought you might want a ring too?”

”Yes!” Sirius nods, reaching forwards with grabby hands, “Yes! I do! Give me it!”

He puts it on his own finger, smiling as he admires the moon and star pattern on the band. It’s so beautiful. It’s so them. His eyes burn with tears when he realises Remus kept hold of the ring for all these years, he never deserved someone like Remus Lupin. His heart was too pure and too big for the cruel world around them.

“Pads?” Remus hesitates slightly.

”It’s beautiful.” Sirius whispers breathlessly, smiling down at the ring on his finger, “I love it. I love you. I love you so much.”

”I love you too.” Remus smiles, pulling Sirius into his arms and holding him, “I love you Sirius.”

Sirius blushes, wiping his tears quickly before kissing Remus’ lips, “I can’t wait to be Mr Lupin.”

”I can’t wait either.” Remus admits, “It’s going to be our greatest adventure yet.”

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees, turning his head when he hears Leo’s bedroom door creak open.

”Are you decent?” Regulus asks, a hint of disgust in his voice.

Sirius snorts, “Yeah you interrupted before I got to suck him off.”

”That’s not funny.” Regulus declares as he comes into view, “Hi Remus.”

”Hi Regulus, you doing alright?”

”No.” Regulus admits, holding his phone out for Sirius to take.

Sirius frowns, accepting the phone before looking down at the screen, “What the fuck?”

The news articles are all about the Black family empire, the whole world knew the truth now and there was no escaping anything. Sirius and Regulus wouldn’t be able to walk down the street, without people stopping and staring. Furthermore, Lucius and Bellatrix had been found on the other side of town. There was no way of knowing if they were heading in this direction or elsewhere, but Sirius didn’t like the thought of them coming where Leo or Reg were. It made him feel sick, wondering if there were still more runaways out there, ready to harm the people he loves as revenge.

He hands Remus the phone, taking Regulus in his arms and holding him tightly. Regulus buries his head into Sirius’ shoulder, trying to hold back tears. Regulus had already cried more times today than he ever dared to in his life, he wasn’t a crier. Even when his wife was dying and sick, he always managed to hold it together until he was by himself. He had to be strong for everyone else, he was not allowed to show weakness. It had been drilled into his brain from a young age and he had already sobbed several times.

”Who else fled?” Remus asks slowly, not wanting to interrupt or startle the two brothers.

”As far as I know Lucius and Bellatrix.” Regulus responds, “I think..they were trying to find Cissy. Not me.”

Sirius inhales and nods slowly, “Yeah..that makes sense..”

”It means she’s alive and they know where she is.” Regulus says with a frown, “But why..”

”You’re not the only one who was trying to protect their son.” Sirius realises slowly, nodding to himself, “Lucius is a bastard but I don’t think he would ever go as far as to hurt his own child..”

”You’re right.” Regulus agrees, “Bella loved her sister, might be the only person she was capable of loving but she..she was broken after Cissy ran away. She lost her mind, became more sinister..”

Sirius bites his lip, “What do you want to do, Reg?”

”I need to visit them.” He decides in a heartbeat, “I need to see that Cissy is okay with my own eyes.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Sirius offers gently.

Regulus immediately shakes his head, “Look after Leo.”

”You can’t leave until he’s seen you Reg.” Sirius warns him.

”I know, I’ll go later.” Regulus decides, “I’m going to make coffee. I can’t fucking sleep.”

Sirius nods, “I’m with you there.” He glances at Remus, “You go and sleep love. You look exhausted.”

”It’s alright.” Remus shrugs, “No point when the sun will be up soon.”

Despite having coffee with the two brothers, Remus falls asleep shortly afterwards. His head rested in Sirius’ lap as Sirius runs his fingers through his hair, smiling at him lovingly. Regulus sips his coffee silently, watching the look on Sirius’ face. He was so in love with Remus Lupin. Regulus was truly happy for his big brother, he’d finally settled down and found the one.

Regulus knows he’s been lucky in his lifetime, he had his great love with Saria but he still misses it. He misses having that one special person. He missed going home, wrapping his arms around her as she washed dishes and peppering her with chaste kisses. He missed talking about mundane things like work over morning coffee before their excitable son came barrelling down the stairs. They had talked about more children one day,a sibling and playmate for Leo. It just wasn’t meant to be. It still hurts just as much as when he heard the words ‘cancer’. It pains him to think about the long months of suffering. It still feels like yesterday she took her last breath. He will forever wish they had more time together, more moments of her sleeping in his arms on the sofa.

Leo wakes Remus up as he stomps into the livingroom, his bunny clutched in his hands as he glares at his Daddy and his Uncle. They were supposed to be sleeping over in Leo’s bedroom, they weren’t supposed to leave him behind. He scowls at them, offering them the silent treatment which is a beautiful blessing at 6am, even though Leo thinks he’s punishing them both. He climbs onto Remus’ knee, crossing his arms over his chest and huffs dramatically like the Black brothers often do.

”What’s wrong?” Remus asks him, giving Sirius a knowing shit eating grin.

”They left me.” Leo pouts, “We was meant to has a sleepovers.”

”That’s so rude isn’t it?” Remus nods, Sirius laughing silently besides him.

Leo nods, “Teddy not do that.”

”Hmm.” Remus agrees, “Do you want to sleepover this weekend with Ted?”

”Yes! I pack my stuff!”

”Leo, it’s not until the weekend.” Regulus tells him as the eager four year old jumps to his feet.

”Oh.” Leo rolls his eyes, “I wants breakfast.”

Sirius jumps to his feet, “I’ll make breakfast sandwiches, you’ll like them. I’ll put all your favourite things on.”

”Fine.” Leo agrees, climbing onto his Daddy’s knee instead, cuddling into his chest sleepily.

”Leo? Daddy has to go out for a bit later but I will be back.” Regulus promises, “I’ll be back for tea okay?”

Leo sits up, a small gasp leaving his mouth as tears begin to fill his eyes, “You..”

”I’m coming back.” Regulus repeats, “Daddy just has work to do.”

Remus can see the struggle, Sirius too busy cooking in the kitchen to realise what is happening. Without thinking Remus kneels besides Regulus’ chair, looking Leo in the eyes and smiling at him.

”I tell you what, why don’t me, you, Teddy and Harry go to the park?” Remus suggests, “We will have lots of fun and by the time we’re done, Daddy will be home.”

”Okay.” Leo agrees, hugging his bunny tighter. Seeing Teddy and Harry always made him feel much better about things.

Remus and Sirius do take the children to the park, James tags along too- most likely for the roundabout whilst Lily stays at home. James tells his friends she’s feeling sick, but Sirius gives him a knowing smile that Remus misses entirely as he chases Teddy around the park, attempting to get the toddler to put his jacket on. It’s not the hottest day, it’s cold enough that they need a jacket but children just don’t seem to like them. Five minutes after Teddy puts his jacket on, it’s back on the floor along with Leo’s and Harry’s. All three children insisting that they don’t need or want their coats.

James is first to give up, deciding to spin the roundabout for the little terrors whilst Sirius goes and collects the jackets from the pile they made on the dirty playground floor. Remus watches as Teddy laughs loudly at something Leo says, and his heart bursts again. He always thought that Teddy would struggle making friends, Leo and Harry are amazing with him though. Kids could be awful but they could also have the kindest hearts, ever since Leo came along, Teddy’s confidence has grown significantly. Leo being able to sign, had also helped Harry pick up on it a bit better too, meaning that Teddy was rarely left out when they were together. It’s all he had ever dreamed of for his son. All he ever wanted was for Teddy to be able to join in, play and laugh with friends and now he could. 

“Are you crying Moons?” Sirius frowns as he drops the discarded jackets onto the bench.

”Just thankful.” Remus shrugs, wiping at his eyes, “Just happy.”

Sirius is about to reply when his phone starts ringing, worrying that it’s his brother, he pauses the conversation and rushes to answer it. His heart sinks when he sees it’s Peter. They had been texting back and fourth, keeping each other updated on everything and Sirius had insisted repeatedly that Pete call him if he ever needed anything urgently. It scares him now though, the phone ringing in his hand as he wonders if that poor baby girl is okay. 

“Hey Pete, you okay mate?” He breathes, nervously glancing at Remus for support.

”Yeah Pads, I just..we’re coming home.” Peter explains, “I was wondering if you could pop by the house and double check everything is ready and okay. I know we left in a hurry and I can’t remember..”

”You’re coming home?” Sirius asks him, his hope soaring dangerously high.

”With Annabelle.” Peter explains, his voice straining with anxiety and exhaustion, “Darcy is being moved to a hospital closer to home.”

Sirius closes his eyes, he hadn’t stopped rooting for the baby. He didn’t really believe in god or anything but he had been praying for Peters twins, “Yeah I’ll check the house, mate. I’ll do a food shop for you too, yeah?”

”Cheers.” Peter says, his voice wobbling slightly, “Thank you for everything Sirius.”

”Don’t thank me.” Sirius whispers, “You’d do the same if it were me.”

Peter laughs softly, no humour in his tone, “Yeah, I would do it for any of you.”

”Text me if there’s baby things you need…that’s not really my expertise but Moons is here so he can help.”

”Thank you.” Peter says again, unable to believe how lucky he was to have such great friends, “Thank you.”

Sirius knows the house is okay, he had been there before to collect Peters birth certificate for him. He decides to go food shopping first, all the children, Remus and James. The kids keep asking for various different things and despite the two Dads saying no, Sirius agrees each time- his shopping trolley getting more and more full every minute. Remus is on baby duty, buying all the formula and correct nappies and he seems to get lost in the baby clothes, making Sirius swoon hopelessly. James notices and ruffles his hair, smirking at him knowingly as Remus picks up a pink floral newborn onesie and hesitates before picking up another one. 

“I’m in love.” Sirius tells him, as if the whole world didn’t already know.

”Bet you two will be picking out baby clothes together a year from now.” James mumbles, watching as Remus continues browsing the baby clothes.

”I can’t wait.” Sirius smiles back, “If I were a girl I’d be pregnant already.”

”Good job you ain’t a girl then.” James snorts, “You would have ten of the little shits already.”

”Remus won’t let me have ten.” Sirius replies, rolling his eyes, “Only four.”

”Only f-four?” James stammers, “After this next one, me and Lil are done. Harry’s a handful as it is, you want four of them?”

”I want eight or nine, Remus wants four.” Sirius huffs, “So we’re compromising and having four.”

Remus smiles down at the bundle of clothes he picked out for the twins, shuffling over to the trolley to gently drop them in. He beams happily at Sirius, nuzzling his shoulder as he grabs hold of Sirius’ hand.

”Our first gift as a couple.” Remus informs Sirius, unable to hide the smile of his face.

”God you’re so cute.” Sirius smiles, linking their fingers together and kissing Remus’ forehead.

”Just a reminder that we’re in the middle of Morrisons.” James says, glancing around himself suddenly, “Um..where are the boys?”

Sirius pulls away looking around the aisle nervously, no sign of any of the three children,  “Fuck. Break up and find them quickly.”

The three men dart off in different directions, Sirius hurrying along trying to guide the trolley with a shitty wheel carefully as he looks left and right for the three kids. He took his eyes off them for a minute, the three of them chatting happily amongst themselves whilst Sirius was admiring Remus. He should know by now that Leo only needs a few seconds to runaway and cause mischief. The four year old always got bored whenever adults were standing around talking, he should have known he would seek an adventure and lead the other two astray.

A woman clears her throat behind him, he snaps his head and comes face to face with a miserable looking toad. She’s wearing the Morrisons uniform, her eyes sharp as she looks Sirius up and down. He looks down and sees two of the three children,Harry and Leo covered in broken egg shells and flour. Leo is trying to hold back at laugh whilst Harry grins just like his Father, staring up at Sirius without a care in the world.

”Are these your children?” She asks him sharply, holding their wrists furiously.

”Um..”Sirius looks at the two trouble makers, noticing the aisle she emerged from destroyed by broken egg shells and yolk, “No?”

“Are you sure?” The woman demands impatiently.

”Positive.” Sirius nods, “I don’t have any children.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie. As much as he loved Harry and his nephew, they weren’t his children and he wasn’t about to humiliate himself in the middle of the store. The two kids looked so incredibly smug and proud, it reminded him of himself and James with their endless pranks at school. He shouldn’t laugh but it was so tempting. He realises Teddy isn’t with them, wondering if he was just as sneaky as Remus was- always participating and never getting caught. He can’t help but feel proud at the thought.

“HARRY!” James shouts, emerging from a different aisle just behind them, “There you are! What the hell have you been doing?”

The woman blinks looking at Sirius apologetically before dragging the two children towards James. James looks absolutely flabbergasted as Sirius snorts and salutes his best friend before scurrying off down another aisle before James can do anything about it. He finds Teddy sobbing a few aisles later, his little face hidden in his hands. He crouches down besides him, gently placing his hand on his shoulder. Teddy jumps in surprise before recognising Sirius and diving into his arms as he cries harder. Sirius rubs his back soothingly, trying to calm him down before pulling away to sign to him.

’What happened Ted?’

’Harry and Leo run off so I try to find them and I not find them! I got lost!’

’Lets go find Daddy,yeah?’

’He be mad at Teddy for running away.’

’No. He will just be happy you’re safe.’

”I sorry.” Teddy whispers quietly, his voice tiny and afraid as he looks up at Sirius with wide eyes.

Sirius manages to pull himself together somehow, despite the overwhelming urge to hold Teddy and sob alongside him. Teddy had spoken to him and it was like every birthday and Christmas all at once. He got to hear Teddy’s voice.

‘It’s alright sweetheart.’ Sirius signs, blinking away the tears,’Let’s find Daddy.’ 

Just as Sirius presumed, Remus was just elated that Teddy was okay and not hurt. He understands how scary it must be whenever Teddy does something like that because they can’t call his name like they do with Harry and Leo. They have to use their eyes alone to search for the child and he knows Remus would have been besides himself with worry, wondering if Teddy had escaped to the car park or been snatched from behind. Teddy couldn’t hear his own voice either, which means he couldn’t yell or scream for help because he didn’t know how to do those noises. It was terrifying. It made Sirius feel sick and he was relieved he found Teddy when he did.

”Where’s Leo?” Remus asks him after a long reassuring cuddle with Teddy.

Sirius smirks and points to where James is standing with the two egg covered boys, the lady from before and the manager. James notices them and offers them a subtle middle finger by itching the side of his head.

”You’re terrible.” Remus laughs, kissing Sirius’ cheek as Teddy looks up at them in disgust.

Sirius is surprised when he finally gets to Peters house to find Peters mother, cleaning the home in preparation. She wasn’t Sirius’ biggest fan, didn’t approve of his lifestyle choices but when she sees the bags of shopping in his hands, she softens slightly at the intrusion.

He was always hanging around Pete, but only ever had a handful of conversations with his Mum. He wasn’t as chatty or as charismatic as James, but he knew she had formed an opinion on him long ago. It wasn’t that her opinion of him was wrong, but Sirius felt it was unfair that she didn’t get to know him the way she knew James and Remus. She seemed to write him off like many of the teachers at school did. She definitely didn’t expect Sirius’ friendship with Peter to last this long.

”He always told me you were a good boy really.” She tells him fondly, her face looking utterly drained.

“I wasn’t.” Sirius tells her truthfully, “I was a menace but..I grew up.”

She smiles at him and nods, “Pete told me all about Leo and Remus. I’m proud of you.”

Sirius falters slightly at the words, hearing it from an adult he grew up watching was everything. He’d never hear it from his own parents or the Potters because they died before he changed his ways, but hearing it from one of his friends Mums meant everything. It meant more to him than he realised it would.

”Thank you.” He tells her, as he starts unpacking the purchases from Morrisons.

”The Potters..they told me too. They were so proud of you Sirius, no one ever told me details but I read about your family in the news today and it’s clear you’re nothing like them.” She whispers, taking his hand in her wrinkled one, “Effie and Monty loved you like a son. You’re not a Black, you’re a Potter.”

”Oh.” Sirius splutters, suddenly bursting into tears as Peters Mum holds him.

”Congratulations by the way.” She whispers in his ear, “We’ve all been rooting for you and Remus for years.”

”All of you?”

She nods and laughs, “Peter was exasperated by it all. We couldn’t have one Sunday dinner without his rant about wanting to bash your heads together.”

”Yeah, it did take longer than it needed to.” Sirius agrees smiling to himself, he didn’t realise everyone was rooting for them to be together.

They work alongside each other, talking happily about all the children. He talks and talks about Leo for ages, he used to get so bored whenever his friends talked about their kids but he gets it now. He’s so proud of his nephew that he can’t help it. He doesn’t realise how much he’s talking about him until the hours pass by and he had to go.

Regulus had rung to let him know he’s heading back to the flat, he didn’t give anything away over the phone, keeping the conversation to a minimum and it left Sirius incredibly confused and frustrated as he made his way home. It felt like Regulus was constantly hiding things from him, keeping secrets and lying. He understood to an extent, but it was like with Leo, he would have liked to have known sooner. He would have loved to be part of Leo’s life sooner. He knew it wasn’t an option back then but he wishes Regulus would be more open.

Sirius might have left the family years ago but he still cared. He still wondered what was happening and if everyone was okay. He missed Regulus terribly, every single day and there were a few others he was curious about. He wanted to know. He wanted his brother to let him in and tell him everything.Regulus didn’t say anything about the prison visit over the phone, he didn’t mention anything about Cissy or the other bodies and Sirius felt like he was missing something. He wasn’t sure if he could actually trust Regulus.

Chapter Text

Sirius folds his arms, his eyebrow raised at his younger brother as Leo dives into his arms happily. Leo is ecstatic to have his Daddy back, despite the distractions all day, he was still worrying a little about whether or not he would be coming home like he promised. James and Remus had made themselves comfortable in the kitchen, chatting amongst themselves. Harry and Teddy were getting Leo’s toys out in his bedroom, most likely dumping the boxes empty if the clatter and bangs were anything to go off. Leo hears it, his ears picking up as he sighs exasperatedly and shakes his head. He knew it would be his job to tidy it up again once they were finished and went home. 

“You going to go and play with your friends?” Regulus encourages with a soft nod, “I’ll still be here. I’m just going to talk to Uncle Siri, okay?”

”Alright.” Leo agrees, barging into his room and startling the two other boys as he snatches his bunny out of Teddy’s hands and shouts, “NOT MY BUNNY.”

Regulus follows Sirius into the kitchen area, smiling politely at James and Remus, noticing Remus snuggling the white kitten lovingly. The other two kittens are play fighting somewhere in Sirius’ bedroom whilst Nox relaxes on the sofa, ignoring her parental responsibilities in favour of a nap. 

“The kittens will need homes soon.” Regulus informs Remus with a smirk, “Free to loving and caring owners.”

Remus blinks, glancing down at the sweet little kitten he’s cradling like a baby, “Oh..I don’t know..I always saw us getting a dog..”

James shakes his head, “I ain’t having any.”

”I didn’t offer you one.” Regulus tells him matter of factly.

Sirius never understood why Regulus didn’t like James, he seemed to hold a grudge for years and years. He thought now he was thirty, he would have let whatever it was go but it was clear by the sharp look in his eyes that he hadn’t. He despised Sirius’ best friend. Sirius hadn’t liked Barty or Evan once upon a time but he grew up and accepted them both. He even liked them now as adults, but it was clear Reggie was never going to forgive James. James probably didn’t even know what he had done wrong.

James clears his throat awkwardly, “Yeah just as well with the new baby coming..”

”New baby?” Remus asks, his eyes widening slightly, “Congratulations.”

”See?” James says pointedly towards Sirius, “That’s how you react to baby news at our big age.”

Regulus snorts, “I’d love to have seen your reaction to Leo.”

”I’d probably have died from shock.” Sirius tells him, “You’re my baby brother, you always will be.”

”Yeah..”Regulus agrees, sadness in his voice as he tears his eyes away, “Anyway, Lumos is yours if you want it.”

”You named the cats?” Sirius asks in disbelief, “Why the fuck is it called Lumos?”

”Opposite of Nox. Nox means night and Lumos means light.” Regulus informs him, “The black kitten is called Nox the second and the other one is called..Scatter.”

”Scatter?”

”Because his patterns are all scattered about.”

”That’s adorable.” James laughs softly.

Regulus narrows his eyes at James, “No one asked for your opinion.”

”Regulus.” Sirius scolds, “Act your age.”

Regulus raises his eyebrows and shrugs, “Okay. Anyway, Narcissa is alive and well with her son. Lives in Essex apparently.”

Sirius blinks in surprise at the abrupt change in conversation and then breathes out in relief, “That’s good..that’s..she made it out..”

”Yeah, she did.” Regulus says with a small smile, “She wants to be left alone though. Kept out of everything..and I agree, she deserves her peace.”

”What did Bella and Lucius say exactly?”

”Nothing really.” Regulus admits, “Just that they were going to escape to Cissy’s but got caught.”

”They willingly spoke to you after you sold them all out?” James frowns with confusion.

”Bella likes me believe it or not, Potter.”

”What is your issue with James?” Sirius asks him irritably, “You’ve been like this for years and I just don’t understand what he did to you?”

”Leave it Pads.” James mumbles, “It’s fine.”

”No it’s not fine! He’s acting like a child. Leo acts more mature than he does.” Sirius hits back, staring at his brother expectantly, “So what is it? What is your problem?”

”You're right it’s just childish.” Regulus says, keeping his grey eyes glued to the floor beneath his feet, “I’m being immature and petty, it doesn’t matter.”

”Regulus.” Sirius hisses sharply, “Sort it out.”

Regulus’ cheeks flush red as he audibly gulps, “He stole you from me. You went to school one day and all you cared about was James pissing Potter after that, so yeah I resented him and now I get you back after all this time but he’s had you longer than I ever did. He will always have had my big brother more than me.”

”Reg-“

”I told you it was petty.” Regulus mutters, looking up to meet James’ eye, “Sorry.”

“You will always be my brother.” Sirius tells him firmly, gripping hold of his shoulders, “Always.”

Regulus shrugs him off, “By blood yeah but James is always going to be-“

”Best friend.” James says cutting Regulus off, “I’m just his best friend, he was devastated when he left-“

”James-“

”No Pads, he needs to know.” James interrupts again, “He barely slept or ate, me and Moons had to try and get him to shower and force him to do normal daily functions because he was so broken without you. All the years in school where you weren’t speaking because of your shitty parents, he would put on this front but then breakdown behind closed doors because he didn’t know how to get you back. I promise he wanted you more than he wanted me. He always will because you’re his brother, family comes first.”

“He’s telling the truth.” Remus confirms when Regulus gives him a skeptical look, “He was a mess.”

”Rude?” 

“Sorry but you were.” Remus smiles half heartedly.

”Still hot though?”

”A hot mess.” Remus agrees with a laugh, shaking his head at his ridiculous man.

”I’m sorry again.” Regulus whispers, looking taken aback by everything he was just told.

He isn’t sure what else to say, all he knows is that he’s done discussing the family and he’s done holding a grudge. He just wants to go back to his house with Leo and Nox and get his life back on track. If Sirius wanted to know more he’d have to talk to someone else, Regulus just couldn’t do it anymore. He was so tired and his mind felt so fragile, he just needed to rest awhile. He just needed a bit of time with Leo, making up for lost time.

The doorbell rings, Sirius rushes to answer the door for the Chinese takeaway they had ordered in for everyone. He ordered Regulus’ favourite from memory, it could have changed for all he knew but he thought it would be a nice thing to do after him having nothing but prison food for the last couple weeks. It was kind of like a coming home feast, he ordered plain nuggets and chips for the kids as he knew Leo wouldn’t touch anything else and the other two would most likely want whatever their friend was eating.

Remus walks into the bedroom to inform the children, Lumos still cradled in his arms as he watches the kids play for a moment. He watches as Leo signs animatedly to Teddy, imagining this would be very much his life in a few years. Teddy playing with his siblings, perhaps a baby in his arms- they did want four children after all and Remus was determined to make it all come true. It was everything he had ever dream of, he wasn’t going to let Sirius slip through his fingers ever again.

Sirius pays the delivery man and gives him a hefty tip, having to insist and convince the poor overworked and underpaid teen to accept it. He makes his way back towards the kitchen, stilling for a moment by Leo’s bedroom to admire Remus’ arse as he leans against the doorway with the kitten in his arms, before continuing on his way. 

“You know the real reason I despise you Potter.” Regulus says between gritted teeth.

”I know.” James replies sheepishly, “I am still sorry.. I never should have-“

”What is that all about?” Sirius asks, his eyebrows raised as he looks between them both.

”Nothing.” They respond simultaneously, both of them actively avoiding the general direction of the other as they look around the kitchen.

Sirius narrows his eyes at them both, finding their behaviour suspicious and odd. It didn’t help what he had overheard but before he can mention it, three hungry kids come barrelling towards him. He decides to let it slide for now, focusing on getting everyone fed and watered but the question lingers in the back of his mind. He would have to pull James aside and hound him for answers because if anyone would cave it would be James and not Reggie.

He never gets the chance to do. A few days later, Regulus and Leo (and the cats) move back to their own house. With everyone in jail and no one on the loose who may want Regulus dead, it was safe for them to do so. That chapter of Sirius’ life came to a stop and he felt oddly empty. The flat was still and quiet without Leo, things remained clean for longer than ten minutes and he hates it. He never thought he would despise the quiet, but he does. He misses Leo like crazy after the first hour apart, the first day and the first week drag and he feels half dead the entire time. He returns to work, numb and feeling lower than ever. Leo gave him so much to live for and now he was back to his day to day life and routine, except this time, he had a fiancé and a step-son to bond with. He knew he had things to look forward to, things that made him happy but his mind was trapped in sadness. He was heartbroken and constantly disassociating throughout the days, just trying to get through work and back to his empty flat in one piece.

Remus must have known Sirius was struggling a bit, his messages had been off and Remus was waiting for Sirius to invite him round as he was the only one of the two working during the holidays. Remus stares at his fiancé waiting to be invited into the flat but Sirius just stares at him in surprise before bursting into tears. Remus wastes no time wrapping his arms around his man and kissing him gently on the side of his head. 

“I don’t like living alone anymore Moony.” Sirius tells him, his voice cracking, “I hate it. It’s all too quiet.”

“Oh,my love.” Remus whispers, “You’ll be living with me and Teddy a year from now.”

Sirius hiccups and smiles weakly, “Yeah?”

”Definitely.” Remus smiles in reassurance, stepping back and holding out a bouquet of brightly coloured flowers, “I got you these.”

Sirius laughs as tears continue to fall down his face, “I love them,thank you.”

”Bet you don’t have a vase either.” Remus teases lightly, rummaging through his Tesco bag and lifting out a box, “I thought we would start a new tradition.”

Sirius raises his eyebrow as Remus unboxes the present, revealing an old fashioned hob kettle in sage green. Sirius laughs harder then, his eyes creasing at the sides as he admires the kettle, “I love it.”

Remus fills the kettle with water whilst Sirius unwraps and cuts the stems of the bouquet a little. Once he’s done, he takes his time arranging the flowers inside the kettle, smiling the entire time before he sets it on the windowsill.

”Teddy is with his Mum tonight.” Remus informs him, “I thought we could go on a date, if you’re up for it? If not, we can snuggle and watch tv?”

Sirius smiles at him, “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Remus pulls him in by his belt loops, grinning at him flirtatiously before leaning down and claiming his lips. Sirius instinctively wraps his arms around him, feeling much less lonely now Remus was in his arms and he wishes it could be like this everyday. Just one year and it will be. One year and he will be waking up next to his wonderful beautiful man every single morning.

”Date then?”

”Did you plan it?” Sirius asks quietly.

Remus nods, “We did your one, which was very me and now I’ve done one that I think is very you..” he smiles, linking Sirius’ hands with his own, “But if you would like to stay home tonight, I can rearrange it all. You come first okay, sweetheart? Whatever you need.”

“I want to cuddle for a bit first.” Sirius admits, feeling as if Remus’ hugs could just take away all the sadness and darkness he was feeling inside, “Then I’d like to go on the date, is that okay?”

”Of course it is.” Remus smiles, dragging Sirius by his hand to the sunken sofa.

He lays down, ensuring Sirius is lay on top of him before he reaches for the throw off the floor, covering them both with it. He peppers loving kisses into Sirius’ hair and draws patterns on his back with his forefinger. Sirius feels content and safe with his Moony, he could lay there forever listening to his fiancés heartbeat.

It took everything in Sirius to pull away from Remus for their date. He loved snuggling with him, feeling Remus’ fingers draw circles on his back as he drifted off to sleep. He really wanted to see what Remus had arranged for their date though. Remus was much more shy about public declarations of love, whether that be simply holding hands or going on dates. He preferred to keep their relationship quiet, reserved for themselves and those closest to them. The fact he had arranged such a special date, just to cheer Sirius up meant a lot to him.

When they were younger, Sirius used to drag Remus, James and Peter to the arcade. He knew all the tips and tricks to winning, knew that if he hit certain slot machines the right way-money would fall out for them to use. He was a boss at the dance dance revolution game, losing hours dancing against anyone brave enough to try and take his title. He was the reigning champion as teenagers, boasting about his flawless dance skills. The only thing Sirius really sucked at was the claw machines, every single attempt was futile until one night, he managed to win a wolf stuffed animal. It seemed only fitting to give it to Moony, who had rolled his eye’s dismissively but slept with it every single night from that night onwards. He had cried about being bisexual, cried about his feelings for Sirius into the stuffed animals soft grey fur and when things turned around, he snuggled the animal and whispered about the beautiful boy he was falling in love with.

It seemed fitting to drag Sirius to the arcade.

”I thought we could see if your dance skills were still up to scratch.” Remus winks, when they pull up outside.

Sirius’ mouth falls open, “I haven’t been here since I was twenty-one..” Remus fixes him with a knowing look, “Okay fine, I haven’t been here since I was twenty-three.. perfectly acceptable age to stop the DDR.”

”Absolutely.” Remus agrees with a soft snort, “Shall we go and see who the new champion is?”

Remus recognises the competitiveness in Sirius’ eyes before he even opens his mouth, “I’m going to crush them.”

“Yes you are.” Remus agrees with a laugh, shaking his head fondly.

Sirius blinks in surprise, looking at Remus for confirmation that he was indeed still top of the leaderboard after all this time. His name ‘Padfoot’ claiming the top spot, despite the lack of visits between now and his early twenties.

”Hm.” Sirius approves, “Looks like I haven’t got to do any exercise after all.”

”Yeah, wouldn’t want you to do your back in at your old age.” Remus smirks, knowing he’s riling his fiancé up.

Sirius stares at Remus, “I know what you’re trying to do but I genuinely do think I’d do my back in. Have you carried Leo? He weighs a tonne.”

”Alright, alright.” Remus relents with an eye roll, “What about the claw machines?”

Sirius nods as he clicks his fingers and makes his way towards them, “Yes, my arch nemesis.”

”Remember when you won one of those wolves for me?” Remus smiles, noticing one filled with the wolves in different sizes and colours, “I still have him.”

”You do?” Sirius asks, sounding surprised, “Moons..”

”I say I have him, Teddy claimed him about a year ago and I never did get him back.”

”Oh, we can’t be having that. I’ll win another one.” Sirius vows, “I hope you have lots of coins Moony, because I will be here alllllllllll night.”

”It closes in an hour.”

”I’ll be here for the whole hour.” Sirius corrects.

Remus laughs as he puts coins into the slot machine, “Good luck, sweetheart.”

Sirius tries and tries and then tries again, gently slamming his forehead against the plastic box in defeat each time. It had to be rigged. The claws evidently weren’t made to grab these stupid stuffed wolves, they were the wrong size and dropped the damn animal every single time! It was infuriating. He’s about to give up, he wants to give up. The arcade is closing in fifteen minutes and he’s no closer to a win, he’s spent a lot of Remus’ money on the damn thing and he feels incredibly guilty but he is determined. 

The claw latches onto the wolfs head, Sirius steadily lifts it. His heart is pounding in his throat, part of him wants to speed to the drop zone but he knows taking it steadily will be better. They’re close, he’s glaring at the claw murderously, threatening the damn thing in his head. It reaches the drop zone, the wolf falls from the claws grip, landing awkwardly on the edge. Sirius groans dramatically, it could fall either way. It could go back into the machine with the wolf pack or fall into the hole and come home with them. He isn’t feeling very lucky as he watches the wolf wobble slightly, he turns around to look at Remus and misses the moment the teddy falls into the drop zone.

”YOU DID IT!” Remus yells, a bit too excitedly, kneeling down to retrieve the stuffed animal, “You won!”

”FUCK YES!” Sirius grins elatedly, doing a weird happy dance and receiving weird looks from the few people still inside the arcade. Remus hands the wolf to Sirius, who shakes his head and shoves it back into Remus’ chest, “It’s yours Moony.”

”You name him though.” Remus insists as they walk outside.

”Trevor.”

”Trevor?” Remus frowns, “Fucking Trevor?”

Sirius nods, his eyebrows drawn together, “It’s a good name!”

”You’re not naming any of our kids if you think Trevor is a good name.” Remus mutters.

”Ermmm your name is Remus?”

”I didn’t name myself did I?” He points out with a raise eyebrow.

“Name it Jacob then.” Sirius says rolling his eyes with a pout, “Like that guy from twilight.”

”Trevor is fine.”

Sirius smiles widely, “I love you.”

”I love you too.” Remus whispers, taking Sirius’ hand in his, “You ready for the next bit?”

”Is it sex?”

Remus laughs and shakes his head, “No, I don’t know if you remember but we snuck into the cinema a lot when we were teens and I know it’s a little bit illegal but I thought..”

”Moony, are you asking me to break the law with you?”

”Its only breaking the law if we get caught.” Remus winks playfully.

”I knew there was still a little marauder left inside of you even though you’re a dilf now.” Sirius coos, placing his hand against his chest, “James will be so proud.”

They struggle to stifle their laughter as they creep into the cinema through the back doors, dodging a sleeping security guard and making their way upstairs. They glance in each room, deciding which movie showing they were going to crash and settle on some movie about aliens. There is hardly anyone inside, so they go near the back, managing to steer clear of other peoples view of the screen whilst holding hands and giggling like teenagers.

Sirius is so in love with Remus, every single minute spent with him reminds him of how foolish he was to ever push him away. He was such an idiot. Why wouldn’t he want more of this every day? Remus made him feel so alive, so loved and so wanted. He had struggled for years with who he was, desperate for his parents acceptance and all along there was Moony. His Moony. The man who never stopped loving him, the man who never gave up on him and by some miracle, he was Sirius’ all over again despite the history between them. Remus loved Sirius enough to forgive him for how badly he treated him. Sirius knows he will spend the rest of their lives proving just how sorry he is, showing Remus just how in love he really is. Life without Remus really wasn’t worth living, but life with Remus was blindingly bright.

He leans his head against Remus’ shoulder, refusing to let go of his hand as they settle down to watch the movie. Remus kisses the top of Sirius head, spluttering when he gets a mouthful of black hair before resting against him. The movie is a wild ride from the get go, the two of them are utterly engrossed from the first few minutes. Sirius sits up straighter when the plot twist is revealed, audibly gasping in surprise whilst Remus grins at him, somehow falling even more in love. 

They make their great escape just before the credits roll, Sirius bouncing on his feet as he rants about the movie they just saw. He couldn’t believe the humans were the aliens all along, he was so shocked but Remus had seen other movies with a similar plot. He was just smiling and agreeing with everything his fiancé was saying because he was so passionate and it made Remus feel fuzzy inside. Sirius Black was an enigma, the things that made him happiest were so simple and mundane. It was the sweetest thing about him. Remus felt extremely lucky to have this man in his life.

”You ready to go back to yours?” Remus asks, his eyes twinkling in delight. He was so happy Sirius had a good night despite the simplicity of it all.

Sirius falters a little, “Are you..will you be staying with me?”

Remus frowns, noticing the way Sirius dims like a faltering lightbulb, “Yeah baby, I’m staying..”

”Okay.” Sirius smiles again as he starts walking away, his eyes still lacking the pure joy from earlier.

”Wait.” Remus says, reaching out to pull Sirius back towards him, “Is it really that bad at the flat?”

Sirius shrugs with an awkward half laugh, “I don’t know, Moony..since Leo left..it’s just..empty and I feel so lonely. I wake up in the morning and I expect Leo to come bouncing into my room to wake me up..” He swallows thickly, trying to stop himself from crying, “I know I’m not alone, I have so many people around me and I’m so lucky but I think there’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely..you know?”

Remus wraps his arms around Sirius, pulling him into his chest and holding him close, “I’m sorry sweetheart. I hate that you feel like that.”

”It’s okay Moony. It’s not your fault.” Sirius mumbles into his shoulder, “I got attached and now I haven’t seen Leo in a week.”

”I’ll bet he’s missing his favourite Uncle too.” Remus whispers, kissing Sirius forehead, “Talk to Reggie, see if you can go and see them soon?”

”I don’t want to annoy him. He only just got his son back.” Sirius dismisses with a small smile, “He will reach out if he wants a break or something..”

Remus tuts, linking their fingers together and leading Sirius towards his car, “Let’s stay at mine tonight, yeah?”

”Yeah.” Sirius smiles in agreement, the happy little sparks returning fully.

Remus knew how stubborn both of the Black brothers could be, Regulus was probably saying similar things and driving himself insane whilst little Leo begged and begged to see Sirius. They still needed time to fully mend and heal from things, neither would reach out first but Remus could. Remus would. Anything to see his magnificent fiancé happy.

Chapter Text

When Sirius wakes up, he’s alone. His heart sinks a little as he yawns and stretches awake, he looks around Remus’ bedroom and smiles softly. It’s so easy to imagine doing this every single day, hopefully with Remus still sleeping by his side. It makes him feel calm and content. As time has moved on, he can recognise his old lifestyle wasn’t making him happy. If anything, sleeping his weekend away and drinking Friday and Saturday nights to bring random guys home for entertainment was due to sadness and loneliness. A certain sort of emptiness that he hadn’t recognised until Leo came into his life and Remus returned.

He looks around Remus’ bedroom, he had been so busy savouring every moment with his man last night that he hadn’t paid any attention to his surroundings. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, Sirius had the best ride of his life and he wouldn’t be forgetting it anytime soon. Afterwards he got to snuggle in Remus’ arms as he fell asleep, Remus tracing circles on his back and kissing his head. He felt so loved. And isn’t that what every person craves? To be loved. To be wanted. To be appreciated. He felt like the luckiest man in the world to lay there in Remus’ arms.

Remus’ bedroom is cosy and warm, lots of burnt orange and beige. He had a display of real plants like a proper adult, the opposite of the fake ones they had in their shared flat when they were younger. He also had a bookcase overflowing with books like the ones downstairs weren’t enough. The entire room felt like one giant Remus hug, it was perfect. Sirius could imagine his own things amongst it, his guitar in one corner and his stack of CDs and vinyls on top of the chest of drawers. It felt like home. He couldn’t wait to finally move in and be with Remus all the time.

The bedroom door suddenly swings open, Remus walks inside backwards. He is cursing under his breath as he tries to balance something as he closes the door with his foot. Sirius can’t help but smile at his clumsy tall man. He’s attempting to be quiet but he almost drops the tray in his hands, blushing furiously when he notices Sirius is actually awake. 

“I was going to wake you with a blowie.” Remus smirks, placing the tray down on the already crowded bedside table.

Sirius promptly lays back down and closes his eyes, “I’m asleep.”

Remus laughs loudly as he sinks down onto the bed by Sirius’ feet. He then grins wickedly as he has potentially the best idea of his life, he lifts the duvet up and begins tickling Sirius’ feet. Sirius screeches as he scrambles up and away from the relentless assault, almost banging his head on the headboard.

”Moony! No!” Sirius pouts, crossing his arms, “You just killed my semi.”

Remus smirks, “Sorry I couldn’t help myself. It was just so tempting. Besides your pancakes will get cold.”

Sirius drops his arms, “You made me pancakes?”

”Breakfast in bed.” Remus says, standing up to retrieve the tray. He carefully places it on Sirius’ lap, “Blueberries, strawberries and golden syrup.”

”You remembered.” Sirius smiles gently, as his picks up the fork and cuts into the soft fluffy pancake, “Open up Moons.”

”It’s yours.”

”Let me be romantic.” Sirius scowls before imitating an aeroplane toward Remus’ mouth, “Landing in 3..2..1!”

Remus takes the food, humming in approval at his own superb cooking skills. After he swallows he gives Sirius a look, “Eat it and then we can shower.”

”You don’t have to tell me twice.” Sirius smirks, eating happily as Remus watches him lovingly.

”I have a surprise for you in a bit.” Remus smiles, pinching a blueberry off Sirius’ plate and popping it into his mouth, “A certain little boy and his Daddy wanted to come and visit you for the day.”

”Really?” Sirius asks, sounding surprised, “You spoke to Reggie?”

”Yeah, he told me that Leo has been crying for his Uncle Siri every single day. He misses you a lot.”

”Why didn’t Reggie say something to me?”

Remus shrugs, “Why didn’t you say something to him?”

Sirius rolls his eyes as he shoves the last bite into his mouth, “I’m ready for our shower now.”

Remus holds out his hand, which Sirius takes eagerly, leaving the tray on the edge of the bed and following Remus to the bathroom. Remus pauses once they reach the bathroom and groans dramatically, dropping Sirius’ hand. He bends over the bath and starts tossing an assortment of kids bath toys out onto the floor. Sirius watches with amusement as a rubber duck, bath crayons and an assortment of swimming wind up toys land on the bath mat by his feet. Then he spots a small basket ball hoop stuck to the tiles and his face lights up, he looks around the small bathroom and spots several tiny basketballs. He picks one up, aims and scores, the ball lands in the bath and Remus turns his head, raising his eyebrow at Sirius.

”You’re such a child.” Remus snorts softly.

”It’s the coolest thing ever!” Sirius insists, “I didn’t know bath toys were a thing.”

Remus’ smile falters slightly at the reminder of Sirius’ childhood, of course he wouldn’t know about bath toys. There’s no way in hell his parents would risk Sirius and Regulus splashing about and having fun. Remus turns the shower head on, sitting on the edge of the bath whilst waiting for the water to heat up. Sirius takes the opportunity to grab another basketball and shoot once more, missing somehow and huffing indignantly.

”It’s because the hoop is small.” Sirius justifies whilst Remus tries to bite back a laugh.

”God I love you.” Remus says, his eyes unmoving from Sirius’ face, “I’m so happy.”

”I love you too.” Sirius whispers, wrapping his arms around Remus and kissing the top of his head, “I’ve never been happier. Thank you for coming back to me, Moons.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” 

“I treated you like shit.” Sirius says sadly, “I don’t deserve you.”

”You have more than made up for it.” Remus tells him sincerely, “and if you’re still doubtful, hop in the shower so I can fuck you.”

Sirius grins and quickly steps out of his boxers and into the warm shower, “Come on then,baby. I’ve been waiting all morning for this.”

Remus steps into the shower behind Sirius, the water spraying down on them both, droplets running down their skin and the shower begins to steam. Remus turns Sirius’ head up towards him, catching his fiancés lips with his own and kissing him deeply. They kiss eagerly for a while, their hands roaming across each others skin and getting tangled in each others hair. Every so often, they break the kiss just to look into each others eyes and smile sickeningly at one another. They were both so deeply and hopelessly in love, nothing felt as good as just being together.

Sirius tilts his head back against the cool tiles as Remus starts kissing his neck, nibbling gently at the soft skin behind his ear and eliciting soft moans and explicit words from his boyfriends lips. Eventually he allowed himself the honour of lowering his hands and squeezing Sirius’ perky arse cheeks before bringing one hand up and smacking him lightly.

”Moooony.” Sirius whinges incoherently, “Please.”

Remus pulled Sirius closer, their lips meeting once again sloppily and desperate. Sirius could hardly focus as their hard cocks slightly rub against each other. He was whimpering unashamedly, needing Remus more than he needed the air around him to breathe.

”Turn around, baby.” Remus commands lowly, helping Sirius to rest against the tiles.

His hands skim teasingly down Sirius’ back, before he presses himself against Sirius and brings one hand to the front of his boyfriends body and starts to play slowly with his aching dick. Sirius’ eyes roll to the back of head in pleasure as Remus continues to fondle his dick and balls. Then he unexpectedly drops to his knees, his tongue gliding down Sirius’ crack and teasing the pucker expertly.

”Remus.” Sirius gasps, as the tongue breaches his needy entrance “Moony…Moony.”

Remus pulls away when Sirius’ legs begin to shake, not wanting him to finish too soon. He stands up again, tilting Sirius’ head towards him and kissing him passionately.

”I love you, Sirius. I love you my baby.”

”I love you, Remus. I love you. I love you.”

Remus kisses him to stop his babbling, he keeps a kissing him as he reaches for the lube he snuck into the bathroom earlier. He coats his fingers in the gooey substance, then rubs them against Sirius’ twitching hole. Sirius whines a little into their kiss, Remus gently prods Sirius’ entrance with his index finger and Sirius groans loudly.

”Don’t stop.” Sirius begs, “More.”

Remus chuckles darkly as he adds his middle finger, pumping them in and out. He loves it when Sirius comes undone. Desperate and needy. Begging with no shame as he begins to pant and canter his hips back and fourth. Sirius belonged to him, none of the other men Sirius had been with mattered because Sirius was his all along. No one could make Sirius feel as good as Remus did. Maybe it was arrogant, a little possessive but Sirius Black was Remus Lupins, now and forever, in every single way. 

“Remus please.” Sirius begs again, breathing heavily, “Just give me your dick. Please, I want your dick. Please.”

”Whatever you want sweetheart.” Remus mumbles, removing his fingers.

He coats his cock in lube, before lining up with Sirius’ arse. He holds onto Sirius’ hip with one hand, guiding his erect leaking cock with the other. He gently and slowly presses in, Sirius blabbering desperately and moving his arse back to take more. He wanted more. He wanted to feel every inch of Remus inside of him, just like last night. He needed Remus. He wanted Remus.

”Please.”

Remus slams into Sirius, grunting as the tightness squeezes around his cock and Sirius whimpers, begging even more. Remus sets up a pace that drives Sirius wild, occasionally slamming into him and making Sirius keen and whimper some more. He pulls Sirius’ by his hair, ensuring he can see the pleasure on his man’s face as he thrusts against his prostate. Sirius clenches around Remus’ dick as he cums untouched, spurts of white semen hitting the tiles and dripping down his legs. Remus follows soon after, cumming hard and deep inside Sirius’ tight hole. He kisses Sirius’ neck, holding his boyfriend as he shakes through the aftermath of his orgasm.

”I love you.” He reminds Sirius again, “You’re such a good boy.”

Sirius stammers as he tries to catch his breath, his eyes finally opening and meeting Remus’ gaze, “I love you.”

Remus pulls out, turning Sirius around to face him, “You okay?”

”Hazy.” Sirius mumbles, “That was great.”

”Let’s get you cleaned up.” Remus says softly, reaching for the soap and sponge.

He carefully cleans Sirius’ body, removing all the cum and lube from his skin. Then he grabs the shampoo, lathering it in Sirius’ hair whilst Sirius hums in appreciation. Remus continues washing his hair, using conditioner too before he steps out of the shower and wraps a large fluffy towel around his waist. He grabs one for Sirius too, helping him step out of the shower and then wraps it around him. He guides Sirius to the bedroom by holding his hand, they lay in bed together, Remus holding Sirius tightly and whispering sweet nothings.

”Can we do that again?” Sirius asks after a few minutes of blissed out silence.

”We need to get ready.” Remus tells him, running his fingers over Sirius’ bare arm, “Leo will be here soon.”

Sirius jumps out of bed, the towel falling off his body as he rummages around the floor for his clothes. Remus laughs and shakes his head, going to the wardrobe and opening it. He takes out a pair of jeans and a tshirt, holding them out to Sirius and smiling sheepishly.

”I got you some stuff for when you stay here.” He explains to a confused looking Sirius, “So you don’t have to wear the dirty ones from yesterday.”

Sirius takes them gratefully, a wide smile on his face, “You really do love me, don’t you?”

”You’re only realising this now?” Remus snorts, getting his own clothes out.

Remus tosses some clean boxers and socks at Sirius’ head, the two of them get ready in comfortable silence but when the doorbell rings, the peace is instantly disrupted by Sirius thundering down the stairs. He couldn’t wait to see Leo, he was even excited about seeing Reggie a little bit. He pulls the front door open, panting a little as he catches his breath against the door frame. He grins at Reggie, who offers his a small nod then looks down, showing Sirius that Leo is hiding shyly behind his Daddy’s legs. For a second Sirius’ heart cracks, the idea of becoming a stranger to Leo again hurting more than anything else but then Leo peaks at Sirius, a large grin on his little face.

”Hey little lion.” Sirius smiles, crouching down so they’re eye level, “What are you hiding for?”

”Boo!” Leo laughs as he jumps out from behind Reggie.

Sirius pretends to be shocked and falls dramatically to the floor. Leo dives on top of him, giggling hysterically as Sirius flails around dramatically.

”Uncle Siri!” Leo snorts, his eyes screwed shut with amusement, “It is just me! It Leo! It Leo!”

Sirius gasps at the boy, “Leo?! My! Haven’t you gotten big!?”

”I losts a toof! Looks!” Leo tells him, pointing at the gap in his teeth.

”What did the tooth fairy bring you this time?” Sirius asks with a raised eyebrow.

”Just £1!” Leo says, “I gots sweeties with Daddy with it!”

Sirius laughs and shakes his head, remembering how much he had given the child when he lost his tooth at his flat. He stares at Leo, feeling a burning behind his eyes as he slowly sits up.

”I missed you kid.”

”I missed-did you too Uncle Siri! I cry lots and lots.” Leo informs him with a sad look in his eyes.

”Oh sweetheart.” Sirius says softly, wrapping his arms around Leo at long last and kissing the top of his hair, “We can’t be having that. Remember you can sleepover whenever you like, just ask Daddy and he can text me okay?”

”Okay.” Leo nods eagerly, “I sleepovers soon?”

Sirius looks at Reggie hopefully, his little brother continues to smile at the two of them together and nods his head,  “How about next weekend?”

”YES!” Sirius and Leo excitedly agree at the same time.

”We’re going to have the best time!” Sirius promises, snuggling Leo again.

Remus watches from the bottom of the stairs, smiling at his fiancé on the floor with his nephew and poor Regulus standing awkwardly at the front door. The sight of Sirius with Leo just has Remus stumbling harder and further for Sirius, he was amazing with the children and Remus couldn’t wait to expand their family together. Right now though, they needed to focus on being a couple again and getting Teddy used to him. There was no rush for anything as they had the rest of their lives to waste together. 

“We has a present for you!” Leo tells Sirius, bouncing up and down.

Sirius stands to his feet, still holding Leo in his arms as he raises his eyebrow, “Is it one of your incredible drawings?” He asks hopefully, wanting another one to put on his fridge.

”No. Is even better!” Leo frowns at his own declaration, before shaking his head, “I mean no but is okay. I draw one next weekend at our sleepovers.”

Regulus smirks knowingly, “Want to help me get it out the car, Leo?”

”Yes? Let’s go!” Leo agrees, trying to walk away and scowling at Sirius who is still holding him, “Leo go down now.”

Sirius obeys with a laugh, watching as his nephew scurries after his Dad to the big black wagon car. Remus comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Sirius’ shoulder. He gives him a soft kiss on the cheek, making Sirius blush when his brother looks over and notices them. Regulus just smiles at them, turning his attention back to the surprise in the boot of the car.

Leo comes running back over to Sirius, “She might be hung-y.”

“Pardon?” Sirius blinks at the little boy, then looks up towards his emerging brother. He notices the black cat carrier in one hand and the assortment of cat things tucked under his other arm. Sirius starts shaking his head, “No. No. I don’t want a cat.”

”But Uncle Siri..” Leo says sadly, his big puppy dog eyes tugging at Sirius’ heartstrings, “She need a home ands living with you is the bestest.”

”Fuck.” Sirius mumbles, knowing he’s already lost the battle.

”That a bad word.” Leo says, narrowing his eyes, “I telling Daddy! DADDY!?”

“Yeah?” Reggie asks as he reaches them at the door, smiling in fake innocence at his older brother. He knew Sirius preferred dogs for heavens sakes.

”Uncle Siri said bad word.”

”Did he now?” Regulus says with a soft tut, “What happens to people who say bad words?”

”Time out!” Leo nods, pointing at the bottom of Remus’ steps, “Go on Uncle Siri.”

”Yeah, go on.” Remus nods, unable to stop his laughter.

Sirius stands there dumbly, spluttering as Leo continues to point and tap his foot impatiently. Leo let’s out a loud sigh, “I counting to free ands if you not in time outs I gonna be mad. One…two..”

”Alright alright I’m going.” Sirius says, holding his hands up in surrender.

He sits on the stairs, smiling to himself. He genuinely didn’t care that Leo had put him, a fully grown man, in time out because he was here. Leo was here. He got to spend the entire day with Leo and Reggie, just as he missed. Remus invites Regulus inside, Leo already emptying Teddy’s toy box in the living-room. The kitten inside the carrier meows impatiently, not liking the fact she was trapped inside a carrier when she was in a new place. Regulus sets the carrier down on the floor, unzipping it and the white kitten saunters her way out. She looks around Remus’ place, meowing when she spots Sirius. She walks over to him, rubbing her head against his legs and covering his black jeans in white fur. He picks her up, placing her in his lap and stroking her ears with his fingers. She stretches out her front paws, yawning adorably before curling up in a ball. 

“You’re giving me Lumos?” Sirius asks, continuing to stroke the kitten as she falls asleep.

Regulus nods, “Remus said you were lonely and she’s a cuddler.”

Sirius smiles at his baby brother, an unspoken knowledge between them that they do care about each other and they do love each other. They may not be the most affectionate of siblings but years of abuse and trauma with do that to you. All that matters is that they’re trying and they’re together now, they’re here for each other now and nothing would ever force them apart ever again. Sirius knew he would always stand by Reg, always look out for him but he also knew they were grown now. He no longer had to protect his little brother from their parents. They were free. They could just be brothers.

Leo appears by his Dad, “Time out is done. You can play nows.”

”Thanks little man.” Sirius laughs as Leo runs back into the living-room to harass Remus about where his best friend is. Sirius stands up, holding the kitten safely in his arms, “What is that all about? Time out?”

”It appears Leo learnt some extremely colourful language during his stay with you.” Regulus says with a click of his tongue, “If he says a bad word, he goes into time out.”

”How does he know the difference between a swear word and a normal word?”

“He is nearly five, Sirius.”

”He is?”

Regulus nods, “September.”

“I better be invited to his birthday party.”

”Obviously.” Regulus scoffs, rolling his eyes, “He won’t allow any different unfortunately.”

“You love having me around, Reggiekins.”

”I love it less and less every time you open your mouth.” 

Sirius spends most of the day lay on his front building lego with Leo, who insists on sabotaging everything Sirius does. Remus and Regulus gossip together in the kitchen, laughing loudly and it makes Sirius’ heart feel fuzzy and warm. He loves that his brother is getting along so well with his future brother-in-law. He could see Remus and Reg becoming best friends actually, they both enjoyed similar things like reading and they both dripped in sarcasm. Leo was so happy to be with Sirius again, that every so often he would randomly squeeze Sirius’ arm.

In the late afternoon, Dora brought Teddy to his Dads and the two children were so happy to be reunited- they burst into overwhelmed happy tears as they clung to one another. Teddy insisted on playing in his bedroom with Leo, dragging his best friend up the stairs and Remus visibly cringed at the sound of another toy box being emptied.

”I’ll clean up.” Sirius tells him, kissing his mouth.

”Wait until later, Prongs is bringing Harry.” Remus explains, “I thought we could do a picnic in the garden for tea and let the boys play for a bit.”

”James is coming here?” Regulus asks, his eyes widening slightly.

Remus nods, “Yeah, I thought it would be nice for Leo to see Harry too?”

”Yeah..no.. you’re right.” Regulus nods stiffly.

”Reggie.” Sirius says sternly, “What the fuck is going on?”

Regulus stares at Sirius, he knows his brother is panicking and he hates that he is the reason yet again. Their childhoods had always been unbalanced, Sirius was the protector. He took care of Regulus, he always had that same look of fear whenever Reg was hurt at the hands of their parents. He couldn’t leave Sirius wondering why Reg was nervous and angry around James. He didn’t need his brother coming to his own conclusions. He just needed to have it out.

”James..he um..after you left..James reported our parents for abuse..”Regulus explains, unable to look Sirius in the eye, “Somehow I got the blame for it.”

Sirius’ face falters, “What do you mean.. you got the blame?”

”You know what Mothers temper is like. She had to blame someone. She had to take it out on someone-“

”She took it out on you.” Sirius realises, his heart dropping, “How bad was it?”

Regulus forces a sad smile as his eyes fill up with tears, “It’s the worst punishment I ever got.”

”I’m so sorry, Reggie.” Sirius whispers, his own heart breaking further, “I should have been there. I should have-“

”Sirius, stop.” Regulus tells him firmly, “Your job was not to protect me. That job belonged to our parents and it is not your fault that they were incapable of..incapable of love.”

”Still..I’d have rather it have been me than you.”

Regulus sighs, “Don’t you think I thought that every time you were punished too?”

”Personally I wish none of you got hurt.” Remus speaks up, “Neither of you deserved it. Both of you deserve the entire world. No child deserves to go through what you two did.”

”Yeah..”Sirius agrees, a heaviness weighing on his shoulder.

He knew himself and Regulus weren’t the only two in the world, but growing up he really thought they were. Because how could parents, who are supposed to be your safe place and your protectors, ever cause so much harm? It was horrible to think about all the children out there going through the same or similar situations as himself and Reggie. It made his stomach churn, his heart ache and his pulse race. There had to be something he could do about it. There had to be a way he could save these children from the abuse of their trusted ones. He couldn’t just sit around and leave it to someone else. He wanted to help. 

The doorbell breaks him out of his thoughts, but the inspiration and need to do something sticks around. He watches as Regulus tries to be normal around James. He notices how guilty James looks, but he also knows the two of them will get on one day. Things were still fresh between them after years of not seeing one another, but time could heal almost anything and Reggie and James would be friends too eventually.

During the picnic, the four men sit on a giant blue blanket with Lumos the cat. She apparently took a shine to Remus, refusing to leave his side as they watched the kids run around and play together. The garden was filled with soft chatter, loud laughter and genuine happiness. Sirius knew these moments would be a regular thing, because he was now officially part of the Dad club and he would have it no other way.

Chapter Text

Sirius is beyond excited when Peter invites him round to his house, he’s also a little surprised at being invited first. He assumed it would have been James, but Peter asked him and he’s so grateful. He feels so loved recently and it’s a nice feeling. When he pulls up on his motorbike, Peter is already standing at the front door. Sirius has to take a double glance because Peter looks so unlike himself, he’s dropped weight and he looks so tired. He’s seen zombies in the walking dead look more alive than Peter currently does. Sirius manages to keep that unhelpful comment to himself, instead lifting up his seat to take out a some presents he wrapped for the girls.

”Hey wormy, you doing okay?”

Peter nods, “Yeah course. You?”

”Yeah I’m good.” He smiles, nodding towards a small plastic bottle in Peters hands, “What’s that?”

”Hand sanitiser. I need you to use it before you come in.” Peter explains apologetically, “Darcy's immune system isn’t as strong as her sisters.”

Sirius nods, balancing the presents underneath his arms and taking the sanitiser. He uses a generous amount, ensuring both his hands and forearms are covered. He hates the smell, he always has. Perhaps that was why Peter was so sorry about it but Sirius truly didn’t mind, the babies safety came first and he’d do whatever was necessary to protect them. To protect Darcy.

Peter had been very tight lipped about the extent of Darcy’s medical issues. All the marauders knew is that she was vulnerable and would need surgery in a few months despite the fact she was only just born. It was scary for them, so they could only imagine how much scarier it was for Peter and Wendy. Becoming parents you expect the baby, you want the baby and you prepare for the arrival. You spend weeks getting everything ready and growing restless with excitement as the time drags. Nothing ever prepares you for the moment you find out your child has life long disabilities.

Peter leads Sirius into the livingroom, he leans down to pick up a crying baby from the bassinet and turns to Padfoot. He looks chuffed as he gently rocks the newborn in his arms, soothing her easily with his soft touch. Sirius thinks Peter suits Fatherhood, he looks so natural and he has that kind fatherly look about him. He knows he doesn’t look like a father, perhaps because he’s just a cool Uncle but he can’t see himself morphing into a sweater wearing, book reading, homework helping parent. He thinks he will be a fun cool Dad too. 

“This is Annabelle.” Peter introduces, holding the baby up proudly, “She’s always crying and pooping.”

”Delightful.” Sirius mutters, looking slightly grossed out.

”You want to hold her? I need to make her a bottle.”

Sirius’ eyes widen slightly, he wants to help his friend but he hasn’t held someone so tiny before. The thought alone is terrifying and making him panic slightly as he stares at the fragile tiny human in Peters arms. He doesn’t even know how told hold a baby. It’s been ages since he held a baby. He’s not held one since his godson was born and even then he tried to avoid doing it until the baby was bigger and Harry was quite a big newborn in comparison to the twins. What if he drops her? That would be awful. Truly awful.

”You can sit down and hold her if you’re that worried.”

Nodding his head stiffly, Sirius sits on the sofa and puts the presents down on the table. He swallows thickly as Peter gently places the baby in his arms. He doesn’t dare move, he doesn’t try to relax against the cushions despite the awkward and uncomfortable position he chose to sit in. He just stares wordlessly at the baby in his arms as Peter abandons him to get milk. She doesn’t really look like Peter or Wendy. She’s very pink, her face screwed up as she makes soft crying noises in his arms. The sound of them begin to increase a little and Sirius instinctively begins to rock her in his arms, shushing her gently.

”Is your Daddy taking too long with your milk, eh?” Sirius asks her as he continues to soothe her, “It’s okay sweet girl.”

He continues to rock her and whisper reassuring words, his gaze never leaving her face. He can’t help smiling and he feels this overwhelming burst inside of his stomach, it sort of clenches and screams within at the sight of her. He wants one so badly. It’s insistent and annoying, but he wants a baby of his own. He hears the faint sound of a camera shutter and lifts his head, seeing Peter has returned with the milk and taken a photo of him holding the baby on his phone.

”Remus is going to lose his shit.” Peter smirks, as he sends it off into the group chat.

Sirius feels his phone buzz in his back pocket but he’s far too engrossed in the moment of holding literal life in his hands. It’s crazy that someone so small and so new, already has his heart. He would do anything for his friends and their children. He was always going to be their rich Uncle who spoilt them rotten, but gods he wanted to be the rich Dad too. He never thought he would want kids and now he does. He wants them so so badly, starting with being the best step-dad to Teddy. Bonding with Teddy as his Dads fiancé was a little hit and miss, some days Teddy would sign none stop, eager and excited to hang out with Sirius…other days he stayed quite and didn’t say a thing. He would just watch Remus and Sirius closely, like he was taking in everything that was going on and trying to make sense of it.

Peter takes Annabelle from Sirius’ arms and begins feeding her with ease. He really does suit being a Dad. It seems to come so easily to Peter and Sirius wonders if it really is that simple or if Pete makes it look effortless. Sirius watches them in awe, proud of his friend for growing up and being a great Dad. His phone buzzes again, so he reaches for it and laughs softly at the chat.

wormy: *attached one image*

prongs: omffg someone give him a baby rn

prongs: damn you look hot pads

prongs: @moony get him pregnant 

moony: shit

moony: holy shit

prongs: we broke moony

pads: it’s okay I only want fifty babies

moony: only??

pads: you’re right make it one hundred babies instead

prongs: better get started asap 

prongs: heard it’s harder for two men to get pregnant xo

moony: 🙄 

moony: I hate you

moony: do you have more pics tho?

prongs: I HAVE SO MANY OF HIM AND HARRY!! Wait!

prongs: *sent 238 photos and 112 videos*

moony: shit shit shit

moony: it’s making me kinda broody

Sirius is distracted by the sound of shuffling, someone entering the livingroom. He looks up to see Wendy, she looks just as tired as Peter but she offers Sirius a shy smile. Then he spots baby number two in her arms, he eagerly jumps up to meet her but notices the way Wendy recoils with her slightly.A protectiveness in the way she shields Darcy from view. He frowns, then notices the tubes and the wires, he falters a little as he looks towards Peter for guidance.

Peter forces a smile, turning to his overprotective wife and reaches out to touch her arm comfortingly, “Pads won’t be cruel. He’s not like that.”

Sirius steps back a little more, giving them some space whilst his mind starts to spin. He knew something was wrong with Darcy but why would Wendy be so worried about him being mean? His heart sinks as he realises they’ve probably had bad experiences already and their baby girl is still just that, a baby.

”I promise I won’t be.” Sirius speaks up, “I just want to meet my niece.”

Wendy looks from Sirius to Peter then back again, she takes a deep breath and steps forward. She adjusts her arms slightly so Sirius can see the baby, his heart drops further but he smiles through the ache in his chest. He has no idea what is wrong with her, he also knows that if they don’t want to tell him then that’s okay. He won’t push for answers. He can just be there to help them and support them, he can just be there to love Darcy just as much as he loves his other niece, his nephews and Teddy.

Darcy has two small tubes in her nose, something attached to her stomach and an oxygen tank. Her face is swollen, her eyes forced shut as a result, she’s smaller than her sister- a lot smaller. Physically she looks different, he can’t place it but she is different and it’s obvious but it also doesn’t make any difference. He still adores her just the same as her twin. Sirius is slightly surprised she’s allowed home with how small she is, but he also knows they have people visiting all hours and they’re constantly in and out of the hospital with her. He’s curious too but doesn’t dare ask, instead he reaches out and gently strokes the side of her cheek.

”Hi Darcy, I’m your Uncle Padfoot.” He whispers, smiling as tears start to fill his eyes.

Life was so unfair but he knew that whatever it was, it wouldn’t hold her back. Just like being deaf didn’t hold Teddy back. She was strong, brave and would do amazing things regardless of the barriers in place. He blinks away the tears, not wanting to upset his friends and continues to smile at the baby.

“Wend, let him hold her.” Peter encourages gently, “Take some time to shower, yeah?”

Wendy looks hesitant but the idea of showering was too enticing to ignore. She could feel the grease in her hair and she had run out of dry shampoo a few days ago. Sirius sits back down on the sofa, waiting for Wendy to be ready. She looks afraid as she brings Darcy closer, placing her into Sirius’ waiting arms. He holds her gently, ensuring to support her head as he did with her sister and he can’t help but smile widely at her. He feels elated like he’s on an unshakeable high from getting meet both of the twins.

”Be careful of the wires.” Wendy says, a slight panic in her voice as she watches Sirius cautiously.

He nods, looking up at her so she can see that she really hasn’t got anything to worry about. He will protect her baby with his entire life and soul, he would quite literally die before letting anything bad happen to either of the girls. Wendy nods with a small but genuine smile, before going for her much deserved and needed shower. 

Peter sits besides Sirius on the sofa, sighing deeply as he gets comfortable with Annabelle still in his arms. He holds her so that her head is resting on his shoulder and starts rubbing her back, attempting to burp her. Sirius is too busy staring lovingly at Darcy in his arms to notice when Peter takes yet another photo of Sirius and sends it to the group chat.

”They are perfect.” Sirius whispers in awe, stroking Darcy’s cheek with his finger again, “You must be so happy.”

“Yeah.” Peter agrees with a nod, “Being a Dad really is the best.”

The day of Leo’s sleepover at Sirius’ flat, Regulus kindly drops Leo off at 7am. Part of him expected Sirius to be sleeping still but he was already wide awake, buzzing to be spending the day with his nephew. Regulus is somewhat reluctant to leave his son, not because he doesn’t trust Sirius but because the last time he had to leave- he was gone for months and Leo was always panicking about his Daddy leaving him behind. He decides to stay with them for breakfast, even though Leo ate at home and is unable to hide his shock when Sirius manages to make a full English without burning a single thing.

”I’ve learnt a lot.” Sirius boasts playfully, tucking into his eggs.

”It’s actually good?” Regulus comments with obvious confusion.

Sirius laughs and watches as his brother eats for awhile, it felt right having Regulus back in his life. It hurt to remember the years they had spent apart, but they had right now and they had the future. Leo begins to play with his food as he was already full from eating at home, then he decides to go to his room. Sirius twitches slightly at the sound of mess being made and Regulus smiles smugly, knowing his house would be clean for at least twenty four hours.

”Lumos!” He hears Leo yell happily after emptying the contents of his toy box, “Comes here kitty!”

Sirius sips his coffee then clears his throat, “So, any plans for tonight?”

”Yeah actually, I erm..I met this girl.” Regulus says timidly, offering Sirius a small smile, “She seems…yeah..erm good? I guess.”

”You two doing anything nice?”

”Just dinner and drinks.” Regulus hesitates a little, “I don’t want to rush anything..I mean it’s the first date since..I didn’t think I would date again..”

He shakes his head, turning his attention back to his food, talking about his late wife was always difficult and going on a date made him feel really guilty. He didn’t know how much time was acceptable to start dating again or if it made him look nasty. He was worried people would start questioning how much he actually loved Saria if he met someone else. He was also worried he wouldn’t be capable of loving anyone as much as he loved her. The fact was, if Saria was still alive, he would still be with her and he would be with her until the end of time. But she wasn’t here. He couldn’t be with her forever like they always talked about. They couldn’t grow their family or see the world together..but he still wanted those things. He still craved those things.

”Saria would want you to be happy, Reggie.” Sirius whispers, “She wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life. You’re only young..you shouldn’t be alone.”

”That’s what Barty said.”

”You know what, I like him more and more.” Sirius says with a click of his teeth, “He’s not completely stupid.”

”He’s only a little bit stupid.” Regulus jokes half heartedly.

Sirius smiles and nods, “Only a little.” He sighs, “Look Reg, just go on the date and have fun. Enjoy yourself. It doesn’t have to go anywhere or mean anything, but just have some time being yourself and not just Leo’s dad. Take some time to be..just Reggie.”

”Thanks Siri.”

Sirius knew Leo was going to have the best day, they had talked about going to the zoo forever ago and now it was finally happening. Better yet, his two best friends were tagging along and Remus. Sirius thought it would be a good way to bond with Teddy some more without any pressure or expectations, except he was far too interested in his friends and the animals to bother with the two boring old men. 

Leo was unable to contain his excitement, every animal they spotted received a loud squeal of delight. He managed to tire himself out within the first hour by running around and jumping so much. Sirius ended up carrying him on his shoulders for awhile, whilst Leo pointed at everything and pretended to be a king. Teddy and Harry held hands with Remus, giggling together as they played the part of Leo’s servants. Then the three boys made a big joke by telling Sirius the wrong names of all the animals and laughing until they had tears streaming down their faces when Sirius acted like he believed them.

”That’s a kangaroos!” Leo tells Sirius whilst pointing at the Lions.

“I love kangaroos!” Sirius nods, “What noise do they make?”

Leo giggles hysterically, “They talks like us, silly!”

”That’s a dog!” Harry tells him whilst pointing to the crocodiles.

’Those are flamingos’ Teddy signs, then points at the hippopotamus.

”That’s a dolphin.” Remus teases as he joins in, pointing at a gorilla. The three boys laugh so hard that the adults genuinely believe one of them will end up wetting themselves. Luckily, Remus came extra prepared as he always does.

At lunchtime they stop off at a bench, outside of the monkey enclosure. Remus unpacks the picnic he packed and the three boys eat happily as they try to plan how they’re going to break into the monkey enclosure to take one home. They were taking the entire thing very seriously, reminding the two adults of mini marauders. They even named the monkey they planned to steal, only to walk away defeated when they saw the locks.

They got ice cream before braving the the bat cave- which had Sirius screeching like a girl and being bullied by the kids and Remus the rest of the day. They got to hold parrots, owls, snakes and tortoises, Sirius taking hundreds of photos of the three boys through the day. Harry even stole his phone to take photos of animals, and took a few of his two Uncle’s together as well. There was even a parrot show towards the exit, which the kids watched eagerly. It resulted in Harry announcing he was going to get one as a pet instead of a sibling. Sirius decided to leave that with Prongs to handle.

At the very end of their day, they visited the gift shop and spent all of Sirius’ money on toys and an animal balloon each. The three of them fell asleep during the long drive home, Remus deciding to go through the McDonalds drive thru and wake them to eat tea in his car. Sirius kept an eye on Leo, his heart soaring with pride as he ate the food with his fingers without fear- no lasting damage from his evil aunt and grandparents left.

The following day Reg picks Leo up, he is so happy to see his Dad and so excited to tell him about the zoo that there is no tears. Reg invites Sirius and Remus to dinner in the week, which leaves all of them feeling happy. For the first time in awhile, Sirius no longer feels alone. He knows he has people around him who love him, even if they’re in different homes.

Once they have left, Sirius goes to hang out with Remus and Teddy. They were trying to get Teddy used to the idea of Remus dating Sirius. He knew the two men were planning on getting married but to a child so young that didn’t really mean anything significant. Dora had expressed that she didn’t think Teddy fully understood, he has only ever seen his parents be together and Uncle James and Auntie Lily. It was embarrassing to realise Teddy might believe them to be just best friends.

That theory was quickly debunked during their visit to Madame Pudifoots cafe for lunch. Teddy and Remus were eating their sandwich and chips whilst Sirius ate a chicken salad. He had decided that day to go on health kick, but he kept eyeing his boyfriends fries up. Remus purposefully left a few, knowing Sirius would cave and steal them sooner or later. Teddy was swinging his legs back and fourth beneath the table, his red and black trainers kicking the seat as he chewed happily. Sirius realised that Teddy was always happiest when he was eating or playing with his dinosaurs or running around with his friends.

”Teddy.” Remus says, deciding that now was the perfect time to explain properly, “I need to talk you.”

Teddy rolls his eyes and nods in understanding as he continues eating and slurping his fruit shoot drink loudly. Sirius smirks, he also hated being interrupted during eating because he just wanted to savour and enjoy every bite. Remus takes a deep nervous breath, ensuring Teddy is still looking at him before he begins to sign.

‘Me and Sirius are getting married because we’re in love. Not because we’re best friends. Sometimes two men love eachother-‘

’Stop.’ Teddy signs exasperatedly, ‘It’s called gay. I saw it on Peppa Pig.’

“They have gay couples on Peppa pig now?” Sirius smiles in disbelief, they never would have had things like that on kids tv shows when he was younger. To Sirius, it was further proof that the world was getting better in some small ways. Although he still believed planet Earth to be beyond repair mostly.

‘Do you not like Sirius?’ Remus signs, casting an apologetic look towards his boyfriend.

Sirius holds his breath as Teddy appears to take his time thinking it over. It could have only been a few seconds but it felt like years. Sirius knew that if Teddy didn’t like him, then his and Remus’ relationship was over. He truly had been trying his best to bond with Remus’ son, more than he had done in the past. He was trying to prove to Teddy that he was there for him and that he was safe, loved and wanted. He was so so wanted, Sirius wanted this so much. He needed it to work out, he already loved Teddy as his own.

’I like him.’ Teddy signs, ‘But I not want my Daddy to go.’

’What? Go where?’

’I don’t want you to leave me and have a new family with Sirius. I want my daddy to stay, me, daddy and mummy. Family forever.’

’Ted, I’m never going to stop being your Daddy and Mummy is always going to be your Mummy. Sirius is like…more family. We’re not taking away, we’re adding to the family. Making it bigger and happier.’

’More people to love you Teddy.’ Sirius adds, seeing the look on Teddy’s little face.

Teddy frowns at Sirius, ‘You love me? Really actually? Love me like Leo?’

’Very much.’ Sirius nods,realising he must not have understood just how much Sirius meant it when he said it at the ice cream shop that time.

Teddy smiles delightedly, before jumping out of his chair and running round the table to where Sirius is sitting. He climbs onto his knee and wraps his tiny arms around Sirius’ neck and squeezes him tightly.

”Love you.” Teddy says quietly, his voice small and wobbly.

”Love you, Teddy bear.” Sirius says back even though Teddy can’t hear him. He keeps his arms wrapped around the small child whilst he looks over at Remus with tear filled eyes, “I love you so much Ted.”

Sirius knows how important and special it is to hear those words from Teddy’s mouth. It was clear to both himself and to Remus just how much Teddy trusted and liked him to not only approach unprompted but to speak to him again. Sirius hoped Teddy would always feel safe coming to him about anything and everything. He wanted Teddy to know he could always come to Sirius, he wasn’t going anywhere. He wanted all his friends kids to know that too, hoped they all knew they were safe with him. As a child Sirius didn’t know which adults he could and couldn’t trust. He didn’t know which ones would hurt him or love him, but he prays he’s done enough. He prays he’s nothing like Orion and Walburga. He hoped he really is more like the Potters than he realises.

Later that afternoon, they drop Teddy off at Dora’s and decide to grab a chippy tea before handing back to Sirius’ flat. Lumos is harassing Remus within seconds of him entering the flat, nuzzling her head against his legs persistently until he scoops her up in his hands and strokes behind her ears. She purrs contently in his arms whilst Sirius dishes their food up in the kitchen, smiling over his shoulder occasionally at the sight.

”You know, it is killing me waiting a year for you to move in.” Remus says as the settle down on the still broken sofa together with their food.

”Is it?” Sirius asks with a hint of amusement, popping a plain chip into his mouth.

Remus nods as he pours gravy over his own portion, Sirius looks a little disgusted at Remus’ choice but doesn’t say anything as he waits for Remus to continue.

”I just can’t wait to do this with you every night. Just hang out and talk about nothing.” Remus shrugs, “It’ll be nice.”

”Yeah, Teddy too when he isn’t at his Mums. Maybe he can finally show me that dinosaur movie that he’s been going on about.”

Remus rolls his eyes, “I’m hoping he’s moved on from that film by then. It’s none stop Pads, it’s all he wants to watch. It’s driving me insane.”

”I seem to remember a younger Moony, forcing me to watch Alien Vs Predator on repeat for a week.”

”That’s different!” Remus insists, “That was only a week! This has been almost two months!”

Sirius snorts softly, “It only feels like it’s been that long, trust me I should know. I will never watch that movie again by the way. So don’t even think about suggesting it.”

“That’s a shame, I think it’s on ITV tonight.”

”God you’re annoying.” Sirius mutters, reaching for the remote to switch the tv on for Remus, “For old times sake.”

Remus smiles as Sirius flicks through the channels and stops on ITV, “You’re such a softy.”

”Maybe a little.” Sirius blushes, gazing towards Remus, “Or maybe you just bring the best out of me.”

”You did that all on your own.” Remus whispers, his throat catching slightly, “I’m so proud of you. You’ve come such a long way.”

”I’m still scared I’ll get it wrong.” Sirius admits, diverting his eyes away, “With Teddy. With you…I’m still worried I’ll fuck it up somehow.”

”You want me to tell you a secret?” Remus asks, moving slightly to take Sirius’ hand in his, “We’re all afraid of getting it wrong. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent but I think the good parents are those who try their best.”

”Yeah..”Sirius agrees with a small smile, “Yeah..I can only try my best. I just don’t ever want Teddy to feel like I did.”

”And he never will.” Remus says sternly, “You are not Orion and Walburga. You’re incredible and wonderful and I’m pretty sure my son actually prefers you to me.”

”I love you, Remus.”

”I love you too.” Remus smiles, running his thumb over Sirius’ knuckles, “So so much.”

”Thank you.” Sirius whispers softly, lifting his head and looking into Remus’ eyes, “Thank you for loving me.”

Remus tuts and laughs, “Don’t ever thank me for that. Just keep on loving me back, yeah?”

”Yeah.”

Remus grabs the two portions of chips and dumps them on the floor, before soaring forward to catch Sirius lips with his own. He pulls Sirius down, adjusting them so he’s on top of him and kissing him lovingly. It isn’t rushed or explosive, it’s just gentle, soft touches and beautiful magical kisses. He wants Sirius to feel how much he loves him, needs him to understand it. He knows words won’t be enough for Sirius, he needs to be shown. His parents fucked his head up so badly, that he will never know just how loveable he is but Remus can show him. He can hold him, kiss him and make love to him until he feels it in his bones. Remus will never stop trying, he will never give up and he will always love Sirius no matter what. Remus was never going to lose Sirius again. He would die before that ever happened. 

Next year, Sirius was going to live with him and Teddy, and everything was going to be perfect. They were going to get their happily ever after and Remus could hardly wait.

Chapter Text

Sirius watches as James takes a large box of stuff into Remus’ house, Sirius just needed a moment to compose himself outside and just wrap his head around everything. It had been a year and now he was finally moving into Remus’ home. He had to pinch himself to ensure it was real, he had been dreaming of this day for so long and now it was finally here. He was moving in with his amazing fiancé and his adorable step-son.

When Sirius looks back on his life, there are a few memories that stick out to him and make him smile. The day Leo showed up at his doorstep felt significant, it made him smile because that was the day his life started changing for the better. Leo was such a remarkable little boy, Sirius loved him so much that it could make his heart burst. Leo had come into Sirius’ life like a whirlwind, interrupting Sirius’ calm and normal life and creating chaos. Sirius would be forever grateful that his nasty aunt dropped him off. He made Sirius wake up and realise what he wanted from life, bringing him to this exact moment. Sirius knows that if Leo hadn’t come into his life when he did, he would still be the same old immature and depressed Sirius. 

His thoughts are interrupted when he spots Teddy running out of the front door towards him. He’s giggling loudly, his arms outstretched for Sirius to pick him up, which he does without hesitation. He kisses Teddy on the forehead, both of them beaming at each other. Teddy had been counting down to do this, asking his Dad every day for the last two weeks if Sirius was moving in yet. He couldn’t wait, he loved Sirius so much because he made Teddy feel safe and happy. He was always pulling pranks on Teddy’s Daddy with him, making Remus laugh or shriek with shock. 

Sirius recognises the mischievous spark in Teddy’s eyes, Leo had really helped to bring Teddy out of his shell, which was great except Leo and Harry had started teaching Teddy how to cause mayhem. Sirius hadn’t helped either, doing small little jokes at Remus’ expense.

’I poured juice in Daddy’s trainers.’

Sirius tilts his head back as he laughs, he knows he shouldn’t but just imagining Remus’ face when he slipped his feet into his shoes and realises was too good. He wishes he could be a fly on the wall in that exact moment. Teddy wraps his arms around Sirius again, nuzzling into the side of he cheek and yawning a little. He had been bouncing off all the walls all night and all morning, knowing Sirius was finally going to be living with them. It was like his biggest dream come true.

Sirius puts Teddy down, holding out his hand for him to take as he grabs the final box from his car and slams the door shut. Teddy is clinging onto his fingers, like he’s nervous Sirius might change his mind and turn around back to his flat. Sirius places the final box in the hallway with the other nine, everything he kept and everything he now owns packed away in just ten boxes. Lumos has already made herself at home, stretching out on Remus’ sofa and making herself comfortable. Teddy shuts the front door with both hands, before reclaiming Sirius’ hand. Sirius simply melts as Teddy leads him into the garden where everyone else is.

There’s a homemade banner pinned to the back fence reading ‘Welcome Home’, it had random patterns painted on it courtesy of Teddy. It has Sirius tearing up because he’s never felt more at home than he does right now. Everyone he loves is there in the garden. Remus is manning the BBQ looking incredibly fit with his sleeves rolled up as he grills the burgers. Leo and Harry are bouncing on the trampoline, Harry attempting to do flips whilst Leo watches unimpressed when the most Harry manages is a roly poly. James is sitting with Lily, who’s holding their daughter Daisy on her knee. They’re both chatting to Regulus, who’s smiling down at them from where he’s standing. No longer holding a grudge against James. Peter and Wendy are there too with the twins, Annabelle is toddling around the garden with Peter chasing after her. Whilst Darcy is in her pram, Wendy playing and talking with her. These people are his family. Every single one of them and he adores them all.

“Come here then.” Remus tuts playfully, holding one arm out for a hug as he flips the burgers with the other.

Sirius obeys, Teddy still holding his hand as he hugs his fiancé. Remus presses his lips against Sirius’ temple, making Sirius blush and his stomach jolt with nerves. Little Teddy pulls a face of disgust as he watches them.

”Love you.” Sirius tells Remus, kissing him on the cheek.

”Welcome home.” Remus whispers, catching Sirius by surprise when he turns his head and presses their lips together.

Sirius smiles between the kisses, feeling so loved. When he was growing up, he believed he was worthless. He believed he would never have anything close to this, but here he was. He pulls away, grinning at Remus as Teddy tugs impatiently at Sirius’ t-shirt.

”Ah.” Remus says, placing the spatula down and raising his eyebrow at Teddy as he signs, “Do you want to tell Sirius what you did?”

’Sirius know already!’

Remus looks at Teddy in disbelief, ‘Sirius knows what you did to his trainers?’

’I tell him already!’

Sirius blinks at Teddy as he runs away to join his friends on the trampoline, his eyes beginning to fill with tears, “He poured juice in my trainers? It was my trainers?”

”Pads, I’m so sorry.” Remus says, “I’ll buy new ones-“

”No, no, Moony it’s fine, it’s not that. It’s just that he told me he poured juice in his Daddy’s trainers and I thought he meant you but he didn’t..he meant me..and that means he called me his Dad.”

Remus swallows nervously, “I..”

”It’s good,Moons.” Sirius promises, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, “He trusts me.”

”More than that, sweetheart.” Remus smiles, pressing his nose to Sirius’ cheek as he wraps his arms around him, “He loves you.”

“Are you okay with it?” Sirius asks, “And Dora? I don’t want to impose or-“

”Shut up, you idiot.” Remus mumbles affectionately, “He gets to be loved by two Dads and a Mum, how lucky is he?”

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees, noticing the smoke behind Remus’ head, “Your burgers are burning.”

”Ah shit.” Remus says, quickly turning around to save the food.

Leo refuses to come off the trampoline even when the burgers and hot dogs are served, he keeps bouncing and ignoring his Dad entirely as he jumps as high as he can. Sirius decides to go over, having been ignored by the child himself since he arrived. When Sirius approaches though, Leo stops bouncing and narrows his eyes at his Uncle. Sirius sits on the edge of the trampoline, watching Leo closely as he pouts. His little eyebrow twitching and Sirius can’t help but smile as he realises the little boy is jealous.

”Hey Lion.” Sirius sighs, looking at Leo pointedly, “Are you ignoring me?”

”No.” He sulks, crossing his arms over his chest as he scowls exactly like Regulus does.

Sirius chokes on a laugh, forcing himself to remain neutral, “I usually get a hundred hugs by now.”

”You’re too busy with Teddy.” Leo scoffs, rolling his eyes dramatically.

”Never too busy.” Sirius promises, holding out his arms, “I missed you.”

”I saw you yesterday!” Leo giggles, caving and dropping into Sirius’ arms. Sirius tickles him, the child wriggling and snorting as he tries to escape, “Uncle Siri!”

Sirius stops tickling him, but keeps holding him tightly, “I will always love you, Leo. Luckily, my heart is big enough to love every single one of you!”

“Are you coming to my birthday next week?” Leo asks shyly, keeping his eyes on his shoes.

”Er yes! Just try and keep me away from the bouncy castle and birthday cake.” Sirius grins exaggeratedly, making Leo giggle again, “Want to go and get a burger before Uncle James eats them all?”

Leo nods, “Okay..” he hesitates when Sirius gets off the trampoline and holds out his arms for Leo to jump in, “Uncle Siri?”

”Yeah, kid?”

”Does this mean we not have sleepovers anymore? Because you live here instead?”

Sirius shakes his head, “No lion, it just means Teddy and Remus will be joining the fun.”

Leo’s face lights up as he runs and jumps into Sirius’ arms, “YAY! And Harry too?!”

”Yeah, sometimes.” Sirius promises, smiling down at Leo as he carries him to the picnic blankets, “We will have the best sleepovers in the world.”

“At my birthday, the real Spider-Man is coming! Just like last year when I was five!” Leo tells him excitedly, “and the bouncy castle is going to be even bigger because all my class is coming!”

”Very nice.” Sirius says, sitting him down on the blanket, “What do you want for your birthday? Off me and Uncle Moons?”

Leo hums, tapping his fingers against his chin as he thinks as hard as he can, “Oh..I not know.”

“How about we take you to the toy store and you can choose?” Remus suggests, handing Leo a plate with a burger on, “Do you want ketchup?”

Leo nods, letting his Uncle Sirius squirt the sauce on his burger. He looks at the food, then watches as everyone out lifts there’s up and eats it like a sandwich. Sometimes he still got worried or confused by some foods, but it usually passed quickly. Now he was nearly six, most of his memories from being little had faded. He could hardly remember his grandparents or his auntie..or his Mum. He didn’t carry his bunny with him everywhere either anymore, he did still sleep with it though and cuddled it at bed time. He still talked to the sky some nights to tell his Mum everything he had been up to, but he was growing up and forgetting the few memories he did have of her.

“It’s okay. It’s finger food.” Sirius tells him gently, relaxing when he immediately picks it up and takes a large bite.

Regulus looks at his big brother gratefully, smiling when Teddy jumps onto his knee and starts signing about the different dinosaurs on his t-shirt. Sirius loved how much Regulus fit in with his group of friends, it was amazing how quickly Teddy had taken to calling him Uncle Reggie. Teddy adored Reg almost as much as he adored Sirius. All the kids loved their Uncle Reggie. Sirius was happy to have his brother back, he felt like a hole in his heart had healed with his return. 

The two of them had spent a lot of time healing and forgiving, they bonded over their trauma- laughed about it inappropriately over beers actually which scared James and Remus a little. Apparently it wasn’t normal to laugh about how manic their parents faces were in the heat of the moment. It also wasn’t funny that their Dad used to spray saliva when he yelled but it’s how they dealt with it. They cried too, but not about the abuse. They cried about the time they lost together. They cried about how much they had actually missed one another, despite the act they performed for their friends. 

A year later and it was like the two brothers had never been apart. They had dinner once a week, either alone or with the boys and Remus. Occasionally, they went drinking together and chatted about anything and everything. Sirius had Leo every other week so Regulus could have a break and Regulus returned the favour, having Teddy sometimes if Dora couldn’t or something came up. It was nice, Sirius’ relationship with his brother was the one he had always wanted. The one he missed and craved. He hoped his own children would never fall out the way himself and Regulus had done.

That night when everyone has gone home, Sirius, Remus, Teddy and Lumos sit before the TV. Teddy chooses to watch his ultimate favourite movie the land before time, signing excitedly about how it is the best film ever. Being four years old, he couldn’t read the subtitles properly just yet but he enjoyed the animations and making up his own version of the story. He snuggled between Sirius and Remus, with a blanket over them all and a hand placed on both of his Dads as he watched the movie. Sirius and Remus couldn’t stop looking over the child’s head at each other, smiling at the fact they had made it. This was what their future was going to look like, the two of them on the sofa with a clan of children wedged between them.

When Teddy started to feel tired, he snuggled deeper into Remus’ side but kept his tiny hand on Sirius’ thigh still, like he was afraid of Sirius feeling left out or abandoned. Sirius watched as his eyelids fluttered shut, then laughed to himself when they were stubbornly forced back open as he tried to make it to the end of the movie. Eventually, he gave in and let sleep take him away.

”God, I love him so much.” Sirius murmurs when Teddy’s snores begin to fill the silence.

Remus smiles, looking down at Teddy as he sucks his thumb, “Good. Otherwise I’d have to get rid of you.”

”How’s the wedding planning going?” Sirius smirks, “I still think that-“

”No.” Remus shakes his head, “We’re not having a tacky theme like that so get it out of your head right now.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “I think we should ask Teddy for his opinion.”

”Teddy will agree with you because you’re his new favourite.” Remus grumbles, “I don’t want a spice girls themed wedding, Sirius.”

”It’s such a good idea though.”

Remus narrows his eyes, “I know you’re winding me up.”

”Me!?” Sirius asks in mock offence, clutching his chest, “I would never. You’re such a bridezilla, moons.”

”If it was up to you, it would be a quick trip to Gretna Green.” Remus mutters unamused, as he brushes Teddy’s hair from out of his eyes.

Sirius shrugs, “Doesn’t bother me. I am happy with anything so long as I get to marry you.”

”You’re adorable but I just want it to be perfect.” Remus smiles,”Unlike me, you’re only getting married the once.”

“Right, let’s get him to bed.” Sirius says, slapping his thighs as he stands to his feet, “I want to erase all traces of your ex wife from our bedroom.”

”Aw, you getting jealous babe?” Remus smirks as he scoops Teddy up into his arms.

Sirius scowls as he aggressively presses the off button on the telly, “I think we should get a new bed actually.”

Remus laughs, almost waking Teddy up from his sleep as he carries him up to his room. Sirius opens the door for him, flicking the light switch on and frowning when he spots not one but two children’s beds. He’s been in Teddy’s bedroom plenty before, playing dinosaurs or reading with Teddy whilst Remus made tea. The second bed was new, it had never been there before and Sirius is confused. He stares at the second bed whilst Remus tucks his sleeping son under the sheets of the other one and turns his night light on.

”Who?” Sirius points at it, wordlessly as he blinks at Remus.

”Oh, it’s for Leo.” Remus smiles, turning the big light off, leaving his sons room in a soft glow from the night light, before walking towards his and Sirius’ bedroom.

Sirius runs after him, still trying to form a sentence with his mouth, “You got Leo a bed? For here?”

”For when he sleeps over?” Remus says with a frown, like it was so simple and so obvious.

”You..you don’t mind?”

Remus sighs, dropping his t-shirt to the floor- standing shirtless in front of Sirius, “Padfoot, you have Leo every other week. I don’t expect that to stop because you’re living here.This is your home now. We’re family, Leo is part of our family. He’s our nephew.”

Sirius lunges forward, grabbing Remus’ face with his hands as he kisses his lips forcefully, “I’m so lucky. I love you so much, Moony. So much.”

”I would hope so considering we’re getting married next year.” Remus laughs, wrapping his arms around Sirius’ waist and pulling him closer, “Didn’t you say something about erasing my ex wife from our bedroom?”

Sirius grunts as he shoves Remus down onto the bed, Remus let’s go as he tries to break his fall. He leans up on his elbows to watch as Sirius’ enticingly removes his clothes before crawling towards Remus with a dark look in his eyes. He straddles Remus’ lap, running his fingers down his chest before leaning down and kissing his lips again.

”I love you, Remus.”

”And I love you.” Remus whispers back breathlessly.

Sirius really couldn’t wait for the rest of their lives.

the end (for now)