Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sand had burned his feet on the run down from where his mom had laid the huge blue towel they reserved exclusively for days like today. Today there was too much sun to run about the house, too much energy fizzing under both him and Odyssey’s skin for either of them to sit still with his mom on the balcony, today was a good day. 

His dad was busy, he had to work on Thursdays like every other half-decent American, he had yelled as much at his mom that morning over cereal that was getting soggy in their bowls. Billy had ignored it, instead listening to his daemon chatter to him from where her starfish body had stuck itself to the side of his neck.

It had taken fourteen minutes after his dad’s truck had pulled away from the apartment’s garage for his mom to pack her beach bag and Billy to find his other flip-flop, before they had been out the door and racing towards the sandy paths: Werner was a cloud swimming through the sky behind them, his mom beaming up at him every so often when the daemon said something funny. Odette was barely visible, a gannet diving around his shoulders and pulling at the limits of their bond as she tried desperately to get to the sea faster and faster.

They had arrived with the usual fanfare. Seafoam eyes that looked so much like Billy’s own rolling as he tried to dart into the shallower waves, instead heralding him back to the towel and humming as she pulled a white bottle from the depths of the bag. 

‘Now now Ulysses,’ Werner spoke softly, voice low and rumbling. It wasn’t odd for daemons to speak to their person’s children. Billy giggled, making his mom laugh in return as she smeared suncream across both of their noses and rubbed it into the apples of his cheeks. The whale shark was the only person to ever call him or Odette by their full names; even his mom stuck to Billy. Something about hearing Ulysses or Odyssey made his dad’s jaw get all tight, and that never failed to make everyone nervous. 

Wriggling, now with the urge to escape his own thoughts more than his mother’s gentle touches to his shoulders and neck, Billy finally slipped free and grabbed his board from where he had stabbed it into the dunes close by. He and Odette raced fast and hard towards the water, her wings carrying her over the wind and letting her tumble into a graceful dive into the depths just as his toes splashed into the first crest of salt pressing into the sand. 

As always it took him a moment to steady his footing, but the leash was tied tight around one foot, and his daemon taking a brief reprieve to swim next to him as a seal pup before he popped up and she took flight again. 

Each wave that he caught fell like a new breath of air was being forced into his lungs, he felt alive and glowing. The ocean was a whole world of its own and the only one where none of the bad things followed him. He shook out his curls and yelled out a string of nothing but sound, beaming at Odette as she fell in and out of the water under him. Her feathers looked like crystals as water fell off of them as she soared over his head and back down over and over again; a fresh tumble for each wave he caught under the tip of his board. 

His mind wandered a little, drifted to a blanker slate where he felt like maybe it was what his friends worried about instead of whether or not they would have to be drying their mom’s tears in the emergency room that night. Odette caught his eye again and he grinned at her. He wouldn’t be mad if she settled as a gannet like this, he thought she was beautiful, and it would mean she stayed small. 

Endlessly, Ulysses Hargrove loved his mom endlessly, but Werner was so big that sometimes it felt like there was no room for anyone but her and her daemon in the room. His body was longer than their apartment, but his dad had bought them one with two balconies and a huge bay window that the whale shark could float outside of. Billy didn’t know how he would ever measure up.

More time must have passed than Billy thought. As he crawled his way back onto the surfboard again, his mom’s waving caught the corner of his eye and he waved back. She was so beautiful, and Werner was slipping through the water close by. He felt sad for his mom’s daemon sometimes, how did it feel for him? To only ever be as close to the water as his mom was must have sucked. 

Squinting at the blonde, he sighed and rolled his shoulders, paddling in carefully to avoid any errant fins. It was hard to pull himself out of the ocean, like trying to get out of bed on the days when he felt blanketed in sadness thick enough to be molasses. Sometimes he worried he would try so hard to pull himself out of the sea that his legs would be left behind. 

‘Did you see me, mom?’ Billy cheered, beaming at her and nearly tripping over Werner who gruffed out a quiet laugh at his haste. His fingers waved through the air, board discarded to the side in his enthusiasm. His voice came out high and hoarse with the salt air. ‘That last wave had to be seven feet tall at least!’

Blonde curls bounced as his mom nodded, gentle hands reaching out to wipe the sand from his forehead. Her eyes traced him like she was always looking for injury, always shock when she saw nothing but scraped knees and bruised elbows as if there should be something worse. He didn’t think about the surprise when he could avoid it. 

‘I saw baby! You did so good!’ His mom cheered right back, ruffling his own golden hair and tugging him gently towards their towel as Werner swam up into the air to follow. Odette followed in quick, bouncy hops as if she was a crow tapping for worms. Billy collapsed onto the edge of the blanket and watched her with a hum, tracing patterns into the sand as he tried to ignore his mom telling him that she was going to get them something to eat before they left. Apparently, his dad needed some stuff at the shop. Neither of them spoke about what happened if his mom let his dad down, there was enough broken china in the trash can to spell it out anyway.

With a kiss pressed to his forehead that probably tasted like suncream and salt, his mom and her whale shark disappeared into the crowd as best a whale shark could, as best a woman with as big a personality as Mary Hargrove ever could. 

Slowly, as the sun burned more golden than blue and his mom still wasn't back from the queues of people waiting for takeout food from the stalls Billy couldn’t see along the pier, the boy became aware of the sand moving next to his head. 

Carefully, as to avoid touching whatever it was (Billy would never forget the way his whole body felt cold and sick under his skin the first time Neil had grabbed Odette and thrown her across the room) Billy turned over. His eyes widened as he scrambled to sit, leaning back on his palms as the grey fish squirmed closer.

It was a shark. Billy knew that; a smaller one, probably a nurse shark. The way it was moving though, the way it didn’t need to be in the water to be swimming with such ease, it was a daemon. He didn’t know whether he was more panicked or confused and his head whipped about trying to find whoever was letting the other part of their soul wander like this.

‘Woah! Brochacho! Cool it, Mara’s a cool shark, no need to unyellow your mellow,’ a voice came and Billy whirled around, finding his feet under himself in a rush. 

The boy was tall. 

Really tall.

Billy’s eyes finally reached his face and he immediately felt his own turn pink. The boy was nice to look at in a way that made his stomach churn and pictures of the bruises on his mom’s ribs flip through his mind like a scrapbook. Instead of that, he painted a scowl over his features and ignored how the other’s smile made him want to smile in return. 

‘What’s up little guy? You look all grumpy and stuff –’ a hand stretched out and rested on the freckles burning bright on Billy’s shoulder but he was frozen in the sand. Suddenly, he was confronted with the realisation all he wanted to do was hold the other boy’s hand in his. Blinking back to Mara and the stranger, Billy just about caught the end of the sentence – ’I’m Argyle, what’s your name?’

It took two attempts before the blond could swallow properly and he bit down on the inside of his cheek, hard.

‘I’m Billy,’ he nearly whispered, feeling like a coward for some reason. All he could think about was telling this new person in his life that his name was Ulysses; Billy wanted to scream until someone called him by it and wasn’t the person who had chosen it. There was no use in feeling bad about it though, a voice low and angry boomed around his skull, too late to reintroduce himself now. 

Steeling himself, Billy decided he could maybe be a little bit brave though and he swallowed, pointing behind him to where he could feel his daemon burrowing in the sand at the edge of their bond, ‘That’s Odyssey. She’s cool as well.’

Argyle scoffed and nodded, straight black hair long and bouncing around his arms where it hung loose, ‘yeah, I’d say so little man, that’s gonna be one fierce mama bear when she grows up.’

Brow furrowed in confusion, Billy turned, Odette had never changed into anything bigger than a seal before but there she was. Practically glowing against the sand was a heap of white fur, a bear cub stalking closing and twining itself around tanned ankles. Big eyes, blown wide with surprise turned up questioningly at Argyle, and a tentative grin pulled the corners of his mouth up. Maybe, one day, he could take up as much room as his mom seemed to; maybe he could grow his hair long; maybe he could tell people his name even if it scared him.

‘Do you wanna go look at the rock pools with me?’

Chapter Text

Mayhem scampered about, falling over Billy’s laces and slipping on tiles as he skittered around in excitement. Both sets of blue eyes followed him. Max’s were bright with excitement that she didn’t bother to hide, Billy’s eyes were forced into a slightly calmer expression, one that he had worked very hard to make because he really didn’t want his uncool little step-sister to know that he was just as thrilled. Or maybe it wasn’t that Max was uncool, but rather that she thought Billy was cool, and he didn’t want that to change anytime soon.

It had been over nine hundred days since Billy had seen his mom, six hundred since Neil had dug his nails into his son’s shoulder and introduced him to Susan and Max, four hundred and fifty since the four of them had all moved into the apartment that had been once been special for his mom.
Sometimes he would sit on the balcony and squeeze his eyes tightly shut, pretending that the waves he could hear in the distance were Werner’s voice telling him to slow down, to cheer up. The last time he had done it, it had started raining unexpectedly – fat droplets that would have had Mary taking him and Neil up to the roof to stand in it together – and Billy had gotten soaked. His dad had slapped him hard enough to leave a bruise on his jaw. That night he heard his dad telling Susan that Billy had slipped in a puddle.

He wondered when his dad would stop lying to his new wife about all of Billy’s bruises. He wondered what Susan would do. As always, he wanted to believe that she would save him, that she would take him to his mom (Billy wasn’t stupid. The opposite actually, he was top of his class and they were talking about having him skip a grade once he reached high school the next year. His dad knew where his mom was, they all knew it). Something told him though, that Susan Mayfield – now Hargrove, although she had never made Max change her name – and Jameson – her wispy orchid mantis – wasn’t going to be the one to get him away from his dad. Billy wasn’t sure what to think. His dad probably just needed more time to get over his mom leaving, Odyssey knew that Billy did.
A glance sent towards his own daemon made him hum, she was resting quite happily, snake snout resting in the dip of his collarbone, body coiled around his shoulder and down his arm. Sometimes neither of them felt much like talking. The only one who seemed to get it was Susan, she didn’t want to talk sometimes either. Now was one of those times; there was enough sound in the store without Billy being another loud voice in the crowd.

All of that to say, Max was a nice distraction, but Billy was waiting for the other shoe to drop; he was waiting for her to realise that Billy was a coward who drove his own mom out of the house and who kissed the older boys under the pier.

On days like today though, he was the cool older stepbrother who could take Max to the nerd store – as both he and Max had dubbed it – on the bus, even when both of their parents were too busy to go with them. Not that his dad would have anyway. For some reason, Neil was on a warpath to try and eradicate his and Max’s less stereotypically gender-affirming hobbies. Billy’s room had been stripped of nearly all his posters except for the gross one of a half-naked woman his friend Javi had bought cheap to write poetry for him across the back (and holy fuck had Billy been tense when his dad examined it, but luckily the ex-military man hadn’t turned it over). Max’s room had been painted a sickly pink with small roses across the border. The two of them helped each other out though; Billy kept her comics on his bookshelf, kept her hockey stick by his door, and kept her photos of her friends in his closet in case Neil got mad they were all boys; in return, Max kept his mom’s jewellery under a loose floorboard, his eyeliner and lipgloss in the top drawer of her vanity, the letters Argyle had sent him tucked in a folder behind her headboard.

Her daemon, Mayhem (apparently named by her dad’s daemon in the fondest sense of the word only) skittered over his foot again and he ignored the way it made him want to flinch. According to the law, and society, they were siblings; but the touch was still unexpected. Mayhem – or May – spent most of his time scampering about as a chocolate brown ferret with a cream bib running under his chin. His eyes were a shade of burgundy that almost matched Max’s hair. Odette and Billy both had bets on whether or not they thought he was close to settling, since he seemed to take the one form so often and enjoyed it so much.
Now that he was a little older, a little more well-read, it made him so curious. Daemons were fascinating, a physical manifestation of your soul, always at your side. Secretly, he thought that humans were very lucky to have them. He couldn’t imagine how lonely he would feel in a world where his Odyssey wasn’t right next to him.

Before Billy could think more about his family, his step-family, and how everything kept changing, the girl with all the freckles at the counter called their ticket number and it was Billy’s turn to step up to the checkout and pay for the monster manual.
Max had wanted one for ages, and whilst Billy did have a copy from his eleventh birthday, it had been his first birthday without his mom and Neil had thrown it out a few months later. The only thing Billy could really say was lucky was that he had always had a great memory – almost photographic – so most of the monsters were still clear in his head.
When he had asked his dad for some money for his step-sister’s gift, Neil had yelled at him so loudly his ears had wrung and he could only focus on getting out. Susan had overheard though, and left a few dollars on Billy’s dresser, so he only had to take a little from his dad’s wallet to cover the rest.

Tanned fingers extended towards his sister to pass the volume over once it had been swept into a paper bag by the cashier. Billy laughed as Max clutched the book tight to her chest with a beam that he privately thought rivalled the sun itself.
‘Thanks Billy! Is there room for it next to my player’s hand-’ the rest of Max’s sentence was cut off with a grunted ‘oof’ as a grown woman barged past with her nose stuck so high in the air that she had swung her purse into the ginger.

‘Hey! Lady! Say sorry!’ Billy demanded, stepping in close to Max and double checking she was okay – she seemed fine, just a little winded – almost furious at the woman already. Who walked into a comic store and forgot to look out for short little kids? Her head turned and Billy was struck suddenly with how much like his mom she looked; soft blonde curls and blue eyes, a tan but a little pink dusting across her cheeks. His eyebrows furrowed and he hissed to himself. That was how all the moms looked. This one though, this lady was raising an eyebrow and snorting before turning away again. Her daemon dismissed them as well, a small big-cat of some type, maybe a caracal? He swished a ginger tail in his direction and turned away.

‘I’m talking to you, lady! Apologise to my sister!’ The boy yelled and stomped up, tapping her on the shoulder. He ignored the disappearance of weight from his arm as Odette slithered down to the ground and out of his field of vision (presumably, if his own instincts predicted anything, to stand guard of Max). The woman arched an eyebrow at him and didn’t say anything, toe-tapping on the floor in impatience. Billy’s skin crawled. He huffed a grunt of anger and folded his arms over his chest, ‘what? You don’t care about hurting little kids? You don’t think you gotta apologise? What, you get off on it or something?’

He realised he was yelling and bit down on his tongue hard enough to taste blood. Just as the woman’s mouth opened, presumably to say something condescending and bitchy, Max giggled loud and high-pitched behind him. Billy whirled around to look at what was going on.

‘Look Billy! She’s an owlbear!’ Her voice carried around the store and attracted more attention than Billy would have normally wanted to be focused on him or his daemon, but he was too baffled to consider it. The creature Odette had shifted into was one that Billy could remember clearly, it was fluffy and feathered, and built like a bear but with the flat, round face of an owl. He coughed and his words caught in his throat. Odette was sat on her haunches, feathers clearly ruffled, barely a foot in front of Max. Every so often someone would pass by and the daemon would make a sound somewhere between a hiss, a growl, and a chirp. The blond laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

‘Yeah Max, that’s really cool…’