Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Emil’s body shook and trembled in the stiff bed of his “room”. He knows that’s technically what it is, a place just for him where he got privacy for the most part, but it didn’t feel homey at all. He was lucky to have a room by himself, most patients had to share with another, but thanks to Emil’s sporadic aggression, or maybe because he had simply been there for so long at this point, he was alone. And while being alone was typically a bad thing, here it was salvation. Or as close to it as you could get.

His last session of shock “therapy” was no surprise unhelpful and even more painful than the last because of how sore his head was from the last session. He had been there for weeks, months? He couldn’t remember, and nothing about his past had come up. The doctors never questioned their methods, they blamed it on Emil being unresponsive, not wanting to be better, it was his fault. And he believed it, he had been told countless times that these were the professionals they knew what they were doing and if anyone was going to make him better it’d be them. They would save him.

But he couldn’t understand why their efforts would hurt him, why it felt like his brain was splitting everytime they were attempting to bring his past to light. He also couldn’t help but realize that maybe they had finally given up completely, he heard their mutters when they walked past his room. They thought he was dumb, and he considered them right on some level, but he was intelligent enough to hear what they were saying when they whispered.

“I don’t know why they keep trying with him.”

“I tell them to throw him back out, they never listen so they?”

Those were just a few. And he truly did agree. Why keep trying? Nothing was working, clearly Emil didn’t want it bad enough. These were all the things he thought about when he was stuck alone in his quiet room, nothing to entertain him but picking at the fickle wire his bed was made of, leaving his finger tips red and sore and sometimes even bloody or bruised.

Today was Tuesday, he thinks, since yesterday he had shock therapy and today was his “recovery” day. Typically they left him alone on these days, he only left his room for lunch and dinner, opting to skip breakfast most of the time. The sun had come up just a few hours ago leaving him to believe it was still late morning. He heard his door creak, signaling someone’s entrance and immediately it sent him into a panic, tensing up in his bed. He sat up, moving to the edge of the bed farthest away from the door, a look of fright, confusion, and aggression mixed on his face.

He was greeted with the face of a young looking woman, brown hair messy and laying over her shoulders. She had brown lipstick on, and what seemed to be eyeliner..Which was odd, the staff here barely cared enough to brush their hair or wear anything other than slippers. But Emil immediately noticed that in a way she seemed more put together than the rest of the people who worked here. Which wasn’t saying much and the woman still looked a bit rough around the edges. She was wearing a long sleeved white dress, or maybe it was a skirt and shirt? He couldn’t tell, but the skirt went far down her body just barely revealing the brown boots she wore.

Emil had a knack for examine everyone he met, but the main thing that put him off about the woman was that she was new. He had met all the staff at this point, all of them growing some sick curiosity with the severity of his case, although eventually giving up as the last doctor did.

“Oh! I’m sorry, did I startle you?” She said, clearly a tad nervous, and examining him deeply as well. “I apologize..I promise it wasn’t my intention, I’ll knock next time?” She said softly, she could tell the man was startled. And she had heard of his..Aggression, his anger. And she didn’t want to set him off, he’s bruised and bitten far too many staff and she didn’t want to end up that way. But at the same time she didn’t want to tip toe around him, she wanted him to trust her. She wanted to make a change.

She stood there for a few minutes, waiting for a reply and inhaling deeply when she realized that one wasn’t coming and the mans off put stance wasn’t faltering in the slightest. “I know you’ve never met me before, Emil. I’m Dr. Mesmer, I’m here for a temporary residence and I want to get to know you, is that alright?” She spoke softly, slowly moving towards the bed as if to not startle him, almost like you would a scared animal. “I read your case file, and I want to help you. I think I have a method possibly more efficient than what they’ve been doing, if you’re willing to try that. And if you aren’t that’s okay, but I would appreciate it if you gave me a chance.” She hummed, smiling at the man.

Emil’s shoulders dropped slightly, his posture and face softening without even realizing it. The way she talked to him was..Different. She was nice, but not overly nice like the rest of the doctors were at first. And she seemed to care about what he wanted, too. When the shock therapy started Emil didn’t get a choice, he was just told it would help and might sting a bit. She seemed different, but he still told himself he couldn’t let himself relax fully, he still doesn’t know her. He looked away for a second before looking the woman up and down once again, nodding just barely and letting out a small and hesitant “..okay.”

And even though that was barely anything, Ada’s smile widened immediately. For some reason even if this was nothing it felt like progress, in a way. She was aware of how the other staff felt about Emil, and how everyone else’s attempts had failed. She knew Emil must have trust issues after everything that’s happened, and he seemed to soften rather quickly. She moved closer to the bed, pointing to the very edge, “is this okay?” She asked, and once Emil nodded she sat down, keeping a distance for Emil’s comfort.

“I’m really glad you’ve decided to let us try this, Emil. I truly think this method of treatment could be beneficial, and I hope over time you can see that too. I want you to believe in this as much as I do, I’m dedicated to helping you feel better.” She spoke, unclipping a small, thin and round metal object from her belt. She held it up so Emil could see the item clearly. “This is my whistle, and it might seem small but this is the main object I need for your treatment. It’s a non painful and harmful medication, one you don’t need to swallow or eat, just listen to.” She started, placing it on the bed inbetween the two in case Emil wanted to examine it any closer. “Go ahead, you can touch it. I want you two to become familiar.” She nodded, and hesitantly Emil reached for it, examining it.
With that Ada started again, “it’s used in a special type of hypnosis, and I don’t want that to scare you. It’ll just put you in a slight daze, almost like you’re dreaming, so that we can reach into the deepest parts of your mind together. I want to help you find your past, and find out why you were where they found you.”

Emil nodded, seemingly entrapped with examining the whistle. It was a common object, but he still had seen nothing like it. It was different than the whistles the other staff had used to keep everyone in line, it was gentler. Everything about Dr. Mesmer seemed softer than what he was used to. “O-okay, does it hurt?” He asked, his voice still showing clear signs of doubt and hesitation.

Ada shook her head, and smiled gently at Emil. “Not even slightly. Even if it didn’t work there would be no negative effects, but I have doubts that it won’t make any progress. I truly think this might be what you need.” She assured him, wanting him to feel secure in what she wanted to attempt with him. Emil nodded, handing the whistle back to her.

He watched her hands as she clipped the item back onto her belt, standing up from the bed and fixing her skirt. “I think that’s enough for today, we can start tomorrow, does that sound good?” She asked.

Once again Emil was taken aback by her attentiveness, but nodded in agreement. He watched her smile again, and couldn’t help but acknowledge how..pretty? It looked.

“Perfect, I will see you tomorrow then, Emil. Have a nice day, I’m delighted to have the chance to work with you.” And with that she rushed out of the room, closing the door slightly behind her.

Emil spent the rest of the day thinking about Dr. Mesmer. The way she talked, the way she moved. And when he went to bed he was thinking of her, too.

Chapter Text

Emil woke up at his normal time, right before the sun came up. He spent the whole of yesterday thinking of everything Dr. Mesmer had told him. A treatment that wasn’t painful, but more effective than the shock therapy? He wanted to be hopeful but that all sounded very unrealistic. And he wanted to trust her, too, but it was hard. She was new, and it was like she said she was here temporarily. And for some reason he couldn’t help but think that she had said that in an attempt to make it hurt less when she eventually gave up on him and left. But he wished she wouldn’t do that, he much prefers honesty, and he’d bern given up on so many times it barely hurt or shocked him anymore. And sure, Dr. Mesmer was pretty and smelt nice but that gave him no reason to trust her yet.

Anyway, he needed a change of bandages today. But he really didn’t want a change of bandages..The nurses were always so rough, clearly in a rush to get it done so that they could be away from him and get it over with. He wished deeply he could do it himself, and had asked many times, but they refused to give him bandages of his own. Something about suicide? No matter, he thought it was ridiculous. If he wanted to kill himself he would’ve already, and he wouldn’t need the stupid bandages to do the job. He had plenty of tools in here to do that, but when was anything in this place ever really logical?

The answer was never, by the way.

Emil passed the morning by looking out the barred window of his room, he couldn’t make out much…But he could always tell what type of weather was out there, today it was gloomy. Most days it was gloomy, but sometimes it rained, or it was sunny. The weather typically was just..wet, in a way. Humid and kind of cold. Everyday the staff would take all the patients (well, the ones that were allowed to) outside, most of the patients went but Emil usually skipped. When he first got here he would go out, but as the time passed it just became too repetitive. You would think fresh air and seeing the sun would make you feel better, but in a way it made him feel worse. If it was sunny enough he’d go outside, but the depressing weather just did nothing but remind him of where he was found. This was the main reason why his skin was such a sickly pale color, he also wondered if the meds he was given didn’t help that case at all.

He was sure when they found him he didn’t look too great, but he was even more sure that currently he looked like a corpse with a barely beating heart. His skin was almost transparent, hair messy and dry from the cheap 2 in 1 shampoo they gave him. His veins stuck out like a sore thumb, and because his skin was so sick looking all the scars on his body felt illuminated. Hence why he preferred to wear his long sleeves and pants, while most of the other patients wore more comfortable uniforms. At first the staff forced him to wear the short sleeved shirts everyone else adorned, but once his looks became too unbearable he would lash out until they were eventually forced to give him the clothing he wanted. It was kind of funny, though. Typically the higher ups were the ones forcing things, right? And yet the staff here were so against dealing with their patients if you put up enough of a fight they’d give in. Silly.

By the time it was med time Emil was already feeling fatigued and tired, not even sure from what. He got his meds right before lunch, since the doctors said something about him needing to eat with them? Or something. He wasn’t quite sure what he was given, it had switched a lot since he’d been here and the names were so complicated they left his brain almost as soon as they entered. So here he stood in line with the other group of patients that took their meds at this time, eventually making it to the front. He threw back the medication, opening his mouth for the staff to prove he had really taken them, and watching as she wrote something down and shooed him off.

He decided that before he hurried off to his room he would glance around the common room, he rarely did this but sometimes it made him feel more involved..And slightly less isolated. It was the typical sight, people sitting on chairs and couches, some watching TV, some writing or drawing. And of course a staff member sat at the front side of the room to moderate things. He noticed that the staff today was Dr. Mesmer, and his face couldn’t help but perk up slightly. He was surprised she came back, and seemed so..Involved. She looks tired, yes, but she also was actually paying attention. It seemed to Emil that she truly did care about what the patients here were doing.

He stared for probably too long, acknowledging that today her lipstick was red rather than brown, and then turned to rush to his room, afraid of being caught looking at her.

He was just intrigued by the doctor, that’s all. She was different in a way he couldn’t quite place, he’d never thought about one of the staff members here so much. She lingered in his brain, everything about her coming off so graceful in a way. He admired her efforts, but was sure that she wouldn’t stay this eager for long. This place wears everyone who enters here down. Even the walls and furniture were old, creaky and falling apart under whoever’s use. Emil was certain his bed had been used many many times before him, he just wondered how many times. He couldn’t doubt that it could be even in the hundreds.

It seemed with the patients here you either stayed for a very long time, or were in and out in a flash. It was bizarre to him. Some people had been here long before he had, and still remained, and he had watched many others come and go. He hoped one day he could go, but everyday his hope weakened. And by now was almost nonexistent.

30 minutes after he took his medicine lunch began and he ushered out of his room. He stood in the corner of the cafeteria while everyone else got their food, waiting to be last so that he could avoid any crowds. When it was finally his turn he grabbed whatever they gave him, “oh Emil! How has your day been?” The lunch lady greeted him. “Mm same as usual..” he mumbled, when he first got here he was afraid the lunch lady, her name was Rose, would take offense to his quiet nature. But in a weird it seemed like she understood that it wasn’t a personal thing, he was just like that. “Well, that’s better that bad isn’t it?” Emil nodded, “there’s a new Doctor here, Dr. Mesmer? Have you met her?” She hummed, attempting to keep the conversation going as long as possible, as she knew that Emil probably needed the socialization. “Y-yeah, she talked to me yesterday..” he said, his face going slightly red, but barely. “Well, she’s rather pretty..” Rose lowered her voice to a whisper then, “and she seems more interested doesn’t she? I’m worried she’ll lose that hope, this place seems to do that to people. Poor girl.” Emil nodded, truly agreeing with the statement. He noticed that too, and felt the same way. “Anyways, I’ll let you get to your lunch. Always a pleasure!” Emil walked off then.

Emil moved to a table as far away as possible from the other patients, which wasn’t very far anyways considering the small and right space of the cafeteria there. He wished he could say he wasn’t always this antisocial but..He couldn’t remember. He didn’t know why he was the way he was, he didn’t even know where most of his scars came from. Only a few on his arms and legs he could put a name to. Another reason for his preferred long sleeves. There were plenty of patients were scars littering their bodies here, but Emil felt ashamed by his. If someone happened to ask him where they came from, he knew he wouldn’t be able to answer, and for some reason that filled him with a specific type of dread.

He ate slowly, picking at the food and chewing on what was decent which avoiding the rest. He thinks the nicest people in this place were the lunch ladies. He knew they tried their hardest to make something good with the limited supplies they had and they were always nice to Emil. He usually got his food after the lunch ladies were technically supposed to start locking up, but they always waited for him and greeted him with a smile and kind words. He didn’t mind them at all.

He was lost in thought as he usually was, until he felt a weight on the other side of the bench at the cafeteria table. He looked over quickly, eyes wide. He was clearly startled, as typically people left him be. At first some of the other patients tried to talk to him but..They soon realized that it was useless.

He was relieved to see that it was Dr. Mesmer, he assumed she must’ve been the one in charge of keeping things in line at lunch today. He didn’t even notice. They must’ve really been putting her to work.

“Emil, it’s so good to see you. Did you think on what we talked about yesterday?” She asked, smiling gently at the tentative man. Emil nodded, placing his fork down. His back remained slumped but he kept his eyes on Ada, shying the close opportunity to examine her face and makeup, different than it was yesterday.
“I know you already agreed to try my treatment, but I just want to make sure you’re sure. I want you to feel secure in this.” She hummed, waiting a few second and beginning to talk again when Emil didn’t answer. “Anyways, enough about that. I want you to think of me as more than just a doctor to you, okay? I’d love for you to trust me the most you can, and I would like for us to be able to talk about things other than just the hypnosis therapy.” She nodded.

“Okay, Dr. Mesmer..” he mumbled, looking down at his plate. The silence stretched on for far too long, until he eventually realized that he should probably talk too. The doctors always said he wasn’t trying hard enough, so shouldn’t he try now? Despite his nerves he attempted to speak. “A-ah, when will you..see me?” He asked. Something about the way he spoke was..Odd. He paused at incorrect places, some words coming out rushed and some far too slow. But he tried to pull himself together atleast a bit, he didn’t want Dr. Mesmer to think he was dumb, or something.

Ada’s smile widened at that, nodding. “Anytime! When would you like me to, Emil? I could even see you after this if you’d like, I want to take this at your pace.” She said, but even though she hid it she was nervous. Her first session on Emil..It could determine whether he wanted to continue with this or not, she had to make it comfortable for him.

Emil perked up a little, “mm..After this?” He asked, sitting up a little, which did him no good since Dr. Mesmer was still taller than him. The woman nodded, smiling at Emil, “yes, after this. Eat your lunch and when I’m done taking everyone to the common room I will come to you, alright?” She said softly, and Emil nodded. “Good, I will see you then.” She smiled, standing up and leaving to go check on other patients, since she had probably already spent too much time with Emil when her job was to check on everyone.

Emil had never eaten so quickly. By the time lunch was over he felt like his skin was on fire, and he sat patiently at the edge of his bed. At every noise coming from outside the room or the door he perked up, checking to see if it was Dr. Mesmer. It was not. And when it eventually was her he had to attempt to hide his nerves, but failed for the most part as his body still shook slightly, and he stuttered everytime they talked. Something told him that today would change everything. That he was meant to meet Dr. Mesmer somehow and she really did care for him and her intentions were true.

But also, maybe it was the fact that she was the first truly nice and genuine person he had met since he awoke from the awful fever that left him here. And he could already feel himself growing attached, and trusting her when the back of his head was screaming at him not to. It was like something beckoned him to her, and while his walls were still up he still desired to know more about him. But he knew that was unprofessional, she asked the questions and he answered, he was fine with that..

Ada smiled at Emil, “hello, how was lunch?” She questioned, pulling a chair up to face his bed. Emil shrugged, “fine..” he said, picking at his cuticles nervously. “I heard you ate all your food, that’s very good Emil.” She praised, and then Emil’s face truly turned red, bright red. “O-oh ah thank you Dr. Mesmer.” He stammered. Ada noticed this but pushed it off. Ada was aware that she was..Decent, looking. And Emil was very sheltered, she was sure he hadn’t really experienced romance before and therefore was confused when someone was nice to him, mistaking her gestures as flirting. It was cute, but unprofessional.

“So, I’d like to start our session off with a few questions; Is shock therapy the only treatment you’ve received?” Emil nodded, Ada frowned slightly but pulled herself back together. “Alright…Do you have any friends here?” Emil hesitated but shook his head, before peeking up a bit “I’m friends with rose.” He said, Ada quirked an eyebrow. She’s read almost all the files since she’s gotten here. No mention of a Rose. “Who’s Rose?” She questioned softly, not wanting to offend him if Rose turned out to be nonexistent. “Ah uhm…The lunch lady.” He said, embarrassment covering his face. Ada sensed this. “No need to feel embarrassed Emil, any person counts as a friend.” She reassured.

“Well, let’s move on.” She nodded, not wanted to prod too much as it was only the first day of therapy. “I want you to get comfortable Emil, if you need to lay down you can. I actually would recommend it.” She said, her nerves starting to build. She wanted to do this right. She had..experimented on some people, but this felt bigger. Emil was very different than her past patients. Emil did as he was told, Ada admired and appreciated that, and laid down, not being able to help his awkwardness. “You’re too stiff, relax. Everything is going to be okay, this isn’t going to hurt at all.” She reassured him softly, keeping her voice gentle. Emil breathed in deeply, letting his muscles relax. “Are you ready?” He nodded, and with that the gentle humming of the whistle filled the room. At first Emil felt nothing, but as the whistle continued on it felt almost like he was sleeping, but awake at the same time. His muscles felt almost like jello in his skin. He felt insanely concentrated, he was fully aware of what was around him, but he wasn’t on edge or paranoid like he usually was. “Let’s start, Emil. How do you feel?” Ada asked, speaking quietly as to not startle him out of his dazed state. “Mm..good, I feel calm.” He stated, not a stutter or hesitance in sight. Dr. Mesmer felt relieved, this was a good sign. “Good. What’s in your head? What are you imagining.” Emil didn’t answer for a second, his eyebrows furrowing as he searched for an answer, trying to think. “Dogs.” He said, and Ada nodded, writing it down in her notebook. “What are the dogs doing?” She prodded gently, “…growling, I-I think at me.” He said, his breathing picking up frantically, his mouth forming into a gentle smile. “The dogs are bad? Not friendly at all?” She asked, his voice gentle, it was clear he was having a hard time and she didn’t want to make it worse. “They’re coming towards me” he said shakily, “h-help me please” his voice going up a few octaves in panic, almost like he was going to cry. “Dr. Mesmer please.” He cried, and Ada panicked for a second. She’s never had a patient react so badly. She quickly pulled herself together, snapping and pulling him out.

Emil sat up immediately, scooting backwards toward the bed frame and holding his knees close to his chest. His breathing was heaving, frantic and quick. “Emil..I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to be so scary for you.” She apologized softly, her voice founding…Genuine. He stared at her for a second, “I-I’m sorry, Dr. Mesmer.” He apologized, convinced he had done something wrong. Ada shook her head, “it’s not your fault Emil..And I know that was scary, but I think it’s a good sign.” She said, and Emil looked at her as if she was the crazy one. “I know I know; but this could be a lead into your past, dogs could be why you were found in such an awful state covered in so many scars.” She spoke gently, “I’d like you to keep trying with me me, keep cooperating, I think we can put some pieces together.” Emil hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Do you promise?” He asked.

“Yes Emil; I promise, I would never hurt you.”

Chapter Text

Emil had nightmares about the dogs.

He spent the night tossing and turning, not being able to stay still long enough to fully fall asleep. And every time he let himself drift off he was awoken by his own cries or terrifying thoughts. It was scary. Dogs were scary, but he’d never been this afraid before...At least not that he could remember anyways. He wasn’t sure if seeing what he saw, and feeling the way he did, was a good thing. Dr. Mesmer said it was good..And she was a professional, she knew what she was doing. And she was right, this could be a hint into his past and why he’s this way. He’s never been so afraid and had such vivid dreams or thoughts about dogs, it could mean something right?

Anyways, it didn’t matter. He was very tired, only getting about 3 hours of sleep at most. He pressed into the puffy spots under his eyes, frowning. He always felt ugly, but he couldn’t help but blame himself for making it worse. It was morning now and the sun was shining brightly through his window, and he decided that today he actually would go to breakfast. He supposed he needed the energy, and he ended up skipping dinner last night, he just didn’t want to be around people. Given, he still didn’t want to be around people; but his stomach kept growling at him, typically he was okay with neglecting his needs, but he felt the urge to look better lately…

He stepped out of his uncomfortable bed, slowly making his way to the cafeteria. He passed the common room, a few doctors’ offices..He stopped in his tracks at one of the offices, it was vacant for a while since the previous doctor there left. Or maybe died? Disappeared? Nobody told the patients anything but either way, the doctor was gone. And on the door was a piece of tape, “Dr. Ada Mesmer.” Written on the tape. It was kind of sad they wouldn’t give her a real nameplate. But he supposed it made sense considering she was only here temporarily. He looked around quickly before peeking into the small window. It looked mostly barren.. But there were some bags, files, makeup. He wondered if she did her makeup here, as there was also a mirror perched on the clearly old and beaten-up desk. He wondered how long she’d be here..Maybe awhile if she had her own office now? Maybe she could cure him before-

“Emil, what are you doing?” He heard a feminine voice behind him, jumping and pulling away from the door, he quickly grew defensive. He was met to see Dr. Mesmer. Of course. How embarrassing is that. Emil frowned deeply, looking away, “mm.. I’m just going to b-breakfast.” He said, not even being able to stare at the woman. He didn’t want to see her angry or judge mental gaze. He already felt bad enough about his..creepy? Odd? He didn’t even know what to call it, behavior.

“Well..that’s alright, don’t feel embarrassed. Are you curious? I know it’s probably surprising I have my own office now too.. I expected it even less than you did.” She said, smiling. Emil was rather shocked at her pleasant tone, not sounding annoyed whatsoever. She didn’t seem to mind. She was so kept together, however, Emil wouldn’t be surprised if she secretly was mad and just knew better than to show it. He nodded, hesitantly looking at Ada, and once again being surprised that she was smiling. “If you want you can come in, it’s quite empty right now..but I brought some things, maybe you can help me decorate?” She offered, pulling her keys out of her pocket with a jingle and unlocking the office door. She opened it and the door clicked as it pushed open, holding it open for Emil.
“Are you sure that would be uh..alright? Dr. Mesmer?” He asked, unsure. That was her own personal space wasn’t it? Was that intruding? He wasn’t sure. She nodded, “just come on in, I promise it’s fine.” She said, and as soon as Emil started stepping in she placed her coat down, as well as her keys. Emil’s guess was correct, as Ada seemed to only have left over makeup on her face. Emil quietly closed the door behind him, looking around the room. For the most part it was very very very empty. There was one photo on the wall, and he stared at it for a bit. It was a young girl, hair a similar color as Ada’s. She was smiling and had a light-yellow dress on. He wondered if Ada had a daughter. She didn’t seem to notice him staring.

Ada set her bag on one of the chairs in the room, pulling out some books and small decorations, it wasn’t much at all. “So, Emil, how about you set my books in that bookshelf? It’s quite empty currently, and I have plenty of books to fill it up.” She smiled, and Emil nodded and obeyed. He began placing the books where she wanted, watching out of the corner of his eye as she set some other things up on her desk. He put the books in randomly, no sense of color, height, subject, just a jumbled mess. Ada did have a lot of books..And the task took him plenty of time. By the time he was done the bookshelf was almost full, and Ada had finished setting everything up, at least he thought so. “Looks very nice.” She smiled, “I knew you would do good at that; it makes it feel so much more comfortable in here, right?” Ada asked, sitting down in the chair behind her desk. She let out a small huff, clearly relieved, he wondered if she had a rough night too. “Y-yes, it does.” He agreed.

He went to sit down but was startled by a sudden “oh!” Ada tsked, “I almost forgot..” she pulled out a small ceramic cat, handing it to Emil. “Place this somewhere for me? I’m afraid I’m too comfortable to get up now.” She laughed softly. Emil nodded, “ah uhm. Where?” He asked, and Ada shook her head in response. “Anywhere you think it fits, I do trust your judgment after all.” She said, and Emil’s face lit up red. He looked around for a second, before placing the cat on the bookshelf as well. “Is that good, dr. Mesmer?” He asked, and Ada nodded. “Yes, very.” She said, motioning for Emil to sit down.
She of course noticed the eyebags, how pale Emil seemed and even more void of energy than he already was. “How was your night, Emil? You seem exhausted..” she questioned, wanting a better insight on Emil’s current mental wellbeing. It was important for their sessions, after all.

“Mm..it was fine..” he shrugged, his eyes flicking away from him. Emil clearly wasn’t a very good liar. He sat back in his chair, slumping down. “Are you sure? You can always talk to me, that’s what I’m here for of course.” Emil nodded, “I had some nightmares but I’m fine.” He said, and Ada doubted that, but she didn’t want to prod too hard. “Well, I’m glad you’re alright. Are you sound enough for another session tonight?” She asked, smiling softly at him. Emil immediately nodded eagerly. He knows it was scary last time but..He wanted to know who he was, and he was willing to accept a few nightmares for that.
Ada was clearly pleased to see that, chuckling slightly. “I’m glad you’re so eager, it’s refreshing to see you so willing to cooperate. I know you want to be better; I want that too.” She said gently, leaning her elbows on the desk in front of her. “However, can you wait till later today? I’m quite busy today..It seems like they really wanna put me to work.” She sighed, “so it’ll probably be tonight, but I promise it’ll be the same as usual, hopefully better than yesterday. How does that sound?” She queried. “Ah yes..That’s fine Dr. Mesmer, I w-want to work around your schedule.” He stated, his face kind of red. He got nervous around Dr. Mesmer, she was too nice to him.. She was so sweet and pretty..

“Amazing, so-“ she started, when the sounds of all the patients coming back from breakfast sounded in the hallways. She frowned a little, remembering Emil’s statement of him being on his way to get breakfast. “Oh dear..I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you for so long.” She shook her head, she reached into her bag, scourging for a second. She always brought snacks to work, she wished she had more for the man.. But she didn’t exactly bring breakfast everywhere with her. He eventually pulled out a granola bar, and a bottle of water, pushing it to him over the desk. She looked for a few more seconds before returning with an orange. “I know it’s not much, but you will be at lunch so hopefully it can hold you till then at least?”

Emil’s face turned.. red, pink, everything. He felt like he was on fire. Now she was feeding him too? Dear god. “I-I can’t accept this! This is your food Mrs. Mesmer.” He said quickly, his face growing defensive. Ada shook her head, “don’t worry, I have more snacks. And I’ll be at lunch as well. And it’s not Mrs., Emil, just Ms. or Doctor is fine. I’m not quite ready to be married.” She laughed, smiling. Emil only grew more flustered at that, “ah- no I’m sorry I didn’t mean to assume- “. Ada hummed, “don’t worry, Emil. Calm down, just eat the food. You can even bring us back to your room if that's what it takes. You need to eat..”

He nodded, not wanting to be too difficult for her. He couldn’t help but worry about scaring her away, too. He felt like maybe she could help him, and she’s the only person who wanted to help him, he needed that. In a way he needed her. He didn’t want to annoy her, bother her, bug her, anything. That’s why he was so compliant, he wanted to know who he was before everything happened. Maybe he could finally get out of here if that happened. And while that thought was nice..In a way it was also scary. Where would he go after this? Back on the streets? Maybe the hospital wasn’t so bad after all..

Ada was pleased with Emil agreeing, expecting him to put up more of a fight. Emil was..Skinny, to say the least he seemed malnourished and it made his joints knobby. She wondered if that was from him barely eating, or the lack of protein or substance in the food they fed the patients here.

“Well, good. I have something to tend to now, I’m sorry we can’t talk for longer.” She frowned a bit, she reached out and placed her hand over Emil’s, resting on the desk. “I’ll see you at lunch though, and maybe we can talk more if I’m not too terribly busy. As well as our session tonight, if you’re still feeling up for it by then.” Emil nodded, eyes locked onto to where Ada was touching him. His human contact was..limited, almost nonexistent despite him being constantly surrounded by people. “Yeah, ah s-sorry. I’ll leave you be now. Thank you Dr. Mesmer.” He hesitated to pull his hand from Ada’s, but forced himself to stand up. He grabbed the snacks Ada provided him with, and stepped back. “Have a nice rest of your morning Emil, maybe try to socialize a bit today. Being locked up in your room can’t be good for you.”

Emil nodded, but he knew he wasn’t going to listen to that and would much rather stay ‘locked up’ in his room. Does it really count as locked up if he willingly spent his time there? He quickly exited the office, speed walking back to his room. Partly because he wanted the comfort of his uncomfortable bed, and also wasn’t sure if he was allowed to have snacks in his room.

Ada sat at her desk for a few moments, her brain running over the interaction. Emil was awkwardly, certainly, he clearly didn’t talk much. His stutter made that apparent, and she noticed the way he pronounced certain words oddly. Not in a way that everyone would pick up on it, but like he had only said the word a couple of times. She sighed, pulling out her notebook and writing notes on the conversation, just small things. Like the way he talked, how tired he seemed to look (and act, to be fair), and the way just the simple touch of her hand seemed to affect him so deeply. In a way she couldn’t deny she touched him as a test, she needed to see just how touch starved and isolated he was. And his reaction was enough of an answer, most definitely. She wondered if he had been hugged even once since being brought to this place…

Hours passed, Ada working and seeing a few patients. She couldn’t help but feel bad for them, because she knew this was her job but she only really cared enough to put such a high level of attention toward Emil. His case was just so…Interesting. She’s never seen anything like it. Anyone like him. Eventually lunch rolled around, and she wondered if Emil would truly show up to lunch. She only doubted it because of his clear fatigue.

Emil was there indeed, already haven taken his medication. He noticed awhile ago how his meds gave him quite the appetite, oddly enough. The cafeteria looked the same as yesterday, rather than some new, sad, looking patients. He moved to his typical table, pleased that none of the newbies had taken his seat. He didn’t want to talk to them, and he wondered if they would try. He doubted it, sure that the actually social and friendly patients would have warned them. Emil had a…history, to say the least; a history of ignoring people, and biting and scratching when threatened or messed with at all. He knew it was wrong but overall it worked, didn’t it? They left him be now.

He practiced the same routine as yesterday, eventually settling down. Although one thing did change, he couldn’t help but scan the cafeteria for his brown haired doctor. A few minutes passes and she walked in through the rather clanky doors, an exhausted look on her face. He wondered why. Either way, it didn’t matter. She stopped for a second, briefly speaking with the other staff in the room, Emil wasn’t very good at reading lips so all he understood was a quick ‘thank you’ from Ada. Ada began scanning the room, and Emil very quickly looked away. He didn’t want to get caught staring, he already got caught creeping in Dr. Mesmers office today and that was bad enough. He began shoving him s lunch down his throat, probably looking a tad animalistic in doing so.

He peered his head up just as Ada was approaching him, being able to feel her eyes on him. Ada smiled him, she knew Emil probably got intimidated by being approached by someone who was basically still a stranger to him..She sat down. “Mm, hi Dr. Mesmer.” And Ada couldn’t help but be a bit shocked, she didn’t expect Emil to start the conversation. She smiled at him, “Hi, Emil. How is your lunch?” She asked, “uh, it’s fine..” he said, shrugging. Obviously it wasn’t necessarily good, but he was used to it at this point. “That’s nice..How’re you feeling? Are you still up for our session tonight? If you would rather not that is fine.” She said softly, she knew she was probably asking too many times..But if Emil wasn’t in the correct headspace it might do more harm than good.

“Y-yes! I am, I swear.” He reassured, face going red at his blatant and embarrassing show of excitement. He was nervous too, of course. But he wanted so badly to make progress. He needed it. Ada giggled softly, “perfect, then I will see you tonight. I’m sorry I have to go, but they seem to really be keeping me busy today.” She sighed, rubbing her temples briefly before pulling herself together. “Okay, anyways. Enjoy the rest of the lunch!” She said, standing up and almost rushing out of the room. He couldn’t help but just stare at the door as she left. She came in here just for..him? He couldn’t believe that.

He went to dump his food before lunch ended, exiting the cafeteria and walking to his room. As soon as he got there he sat on his bed, staring out of the constructed window as he sunk deep into thought. Why would she come in there for him? Does she..like him? Is it just her sick curiosity, or does she enjoy spending time around him? He blushed at the thought, shaking himself free of that and hitting himself in the head at a quick punishment, an awful habit he picked up. She seemed so interested in him, in helping him and talking to him. It was shocking, and it left him in an internal battle with himself..he didn’t know if he was being ridiculous, if he was reading her behavior wrong. She looked at him differently than anyone else here. There wasn’t a bing of resent, or disgust, or uninterest. He shivered, frowning a little. It was a shame she was only here temporarily..Who was going to help him when she left? As far as he knew nobody here practiced the treatment that she did. He sighed, laying down in the bed, pressing the pillow in his head harshly. He thought about Ada..About her behavior. He wanted to know more about her, he wanted to know if his thought process was even slightly accurate to her feelings. As he pondered he felt himself drifting off..Lost in thought. Maybe a nap before his session wasn’t a bad idea.

Ada knocked on Emil’s door before entering, waiting for him to answer and tell her it was good for her to enter. She waited a few seconds before knocking again, assuming the man didn’t hear her at first. Now she waited a minute or two, frowning at no response. She was worried immediately, what could have happened? She didn’t take time to think about it before entering the room to make sure he was safe, her heels clacking against the floor harshly and loudly as she rushed through the room. The noise woke Emil up almost instantly, sitting up in a panic and looking around the room for wherever the loud noise came from. His eyes landed on Ada, of course. A look of confusion and panic still on his face, it reminded Ada of when she first met Emil. She sighed, stopping in her tracks still a few feet from the bed.

“Oh Emil I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were sleeping. I tried to knock but you didn’t answer and it worried me I know better than to enter without you knowing, I didn’t mean to startle you.” She apologized, her words rushed and relieved to see that he wasn’t hurt. Ada knew in this place a lot of the patients were self destructive, to say the least. She couldn’t help but think that he had hurt himself, which was awful but truly could you blame her? Emil’s face softened and he fully sat up, getting in a more comfortable position on the stiff bed. “I-I’m sorry Dr. Mesmer I promise you didn’t do anything..” he said, frowning and looking away from the woman. Ada shook her head, “no no, you didn’t do anything. Sleep is good, don’t punish yourself for taking care of your body.”

Emil nodded, looking out the window and noticing how the sun was just setting. “Mm, is it time for our session already?” He asked, yawning and stretching a bit. His voice was sleepy, tired and showing his exhaustion. Ada nodded, noticing how the chair from yesterday was still next to his bed. She moved forward and took a seat. “If you’re ready, yes, we can take it slower this time. I’ll talk you through it.” She promised, and Emil settled back. “I’m ready..I-if you are, anyways.” He stuttered out, and Ada couldn’t help but smile. “Of course, I want to learn more about what you see. Now lay back, just like yesterday.” She instructed, glad to see how he instantly did so. “Good, Emil. Close your eyes and relax, don’t let yourself become tense. I promise nothing will be painful, or interrupt your daze.” She spoke softly, her voice lowering in a way that had Emil feeling as if he was already hypnotized.

Emil breathed deeply, and when Ada could tell he was completely relaxed she spoke again. “I’m going to blow the whistle now, you will most likely fall into your sleep state quicker than yesterday.” She advised, and a few seconds later the gentle sound of the whistle filled the room. Continuing on until Ada could see that he was in his daze, showing in the way his lips parted slightly, and his curled fingers completely opened on the bed. “So, Emil. Do you feel good?” She questioned, making sure he was completely in the correct headspace. “Mm, yes..Ms. Mesmer.” He stated, his voice quiet and sounding less on edge as it typically did. “That’s perfect, now ready deep..What is it you see Emil?” She asked, watching his expression closely. Last time when he started panicking it was evident on his face, so she watched for those signs.

“A room, it’s round..” he started, and Ada didn’t respond to give him a chance to elaborate. “Loud, shouting…I-It hurts my ears. I don’t like it.” He frowned, but it didn’t seem to have any panic or genuine pain, so she continued her questions. “Is there anything in the room with you?” Writing down what Emil had said so far while she waited for his response. He was clearly reaching deep so he could answer he efficiently. “Growling, the dogs” he breathed out heavily, his breath being shaky. “They’re mad, a-approaching me, everything is louder.” He began breathing frantically, and the furrow in his brow that he had last time appeared once again. She wanted to push Emil, so much progress was being made..She just wanted to continue that. “T-They’re running at me, please make them stop I want it to stop they’re going to Hu-Hurt me!” He spoke quickly, and this time around Ada could see he was actually crying. Tears building up in his eyes and threatening to bubble over. “it’s okay Emil, they can’t actually hurt you. Relax, please.” She said, gripping the clip board she had tightly. Just a little more, he could go just a little more. “Biting! T-They’re biting!” He cried, and Ada knew she had to stop it. She knew it was too much for him now. She snapped, and instantly Emil’s eyes flew open as if someone had snuck in on him. The pain, as mental as it was, was evident on his face. He was scared, and Ada could see it.

“Emil, are you alright? You need to calm down, they can’t hurt you i swear.” She spoke softly but quickly, breathing quickly as well. Emil clapped his hands on his head, gripping his hair so tight his knuckles turned white in the process. The crying only grew worse, she assumed it was from him pressing against the sore tender spots on the sides of his head. She frowned deeply, “Emil, listen to me. I am here with you, I am here for you. You don’t need to hurt yourself.” Emil shakily and slowly moved his hands down, his eyes gripped shut as his hands tangled in the sheets on his bed. He was crying so hard his breaths were labored, and Ada felt awful. She pressed her hand over his, hoping the touch would maybe make it better. She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand, but was hesitant in the motions. “Quiet, you’re going to be okay.” She promised, and it did take a few minutes for the crying to stop, but eventually it did. And as Emil came down from the panicked state, his breaths hiccuped as he tried to get air back into his lungs.

When he could he stared at Ada, not being able to say much. In times like this he went nonverbal. It could be from the embarrassment, or maybe the exhaustion, he wasn’t sure. “Are you alright now, Emil?” She questioned softly, and he nodded. “Good..” she said, noticing the half full water bottle she had given him earlier next to his bed on the floor. She gently picked it up, opening the bottle and handing it to him. “Drink this, you must be exhausted yes?” And with shaky hands he grabbed it. Ada used the next few minutes to make sure Emil was okay, and she could see he was growing tired. Which was good, she was sure he needed rest after all of that.

She checked her wrist watch, sighing. She was supposed to clock out in 15 minutes. And she did want to be home badly; even if it was to enter an empty house. “I’m glad you’re okay now..I’m sorry to say I have to go, it’s almost time for me to go home.” She stood, clipping the whistle back onto her belt. “Try to get some sleep, I can tell by your face you’re tired. I’ll see you tomorrow, Emil. You did very good today, and I treasure how much we talked. I’m glad to get to know you better.” Emil nodded, laying down in his bed, laying on his side towards Ada. She smiled softly, “goodnight.” She said, leaving the room.

As soon as she was out of the room, her frown returned. She felt awful. She wanted to push Emil, of course, but it felt like she was taking this too quickly. Her eagerness was dangerous, and she made Emil do far too much tonight. She knew she needed to hold back a bit. But atleast it seemed like Emil was getting more used to the routine. Which was surprising, considering it was only day two of the treatment. She returned to her office, packing up her items and slipping the coat on over her dress. She pulled her hair back into a bun, saying goodbye to the staff that remained in the hospital. When she got to her car she sat in the drivers seat a few moments, her hands on the wheel but not leaving quite yet.

She needed to help Emil, she needed to see him succeed the best he could before she was forced to leave the hospital. She sighed at the thought, worried 12 days wouldn’t be enough. And then she would have to leave him high and dry, how awful would that be? She pulled out of the parking lot, and their session remained on her mind the whole drive home.

Chapter Text

Ada spent the whole day worried about Emil. When she came into work that day, asking what time Emil would be available for a session she had found out that today was one of Emil’s scheduled shock therapy sessions. And then they said that she could see him later during the night.

She was shocked for a multitude of reasons. First, she had sort of assumed that Emil’s shock therapy would end now that she was treating him. Secondly, because they thought him having a hypno therapy right after would be beneficial. Sure she was surprised, but more than anything she was mad. How unprofessional could this place be? They clearly knew nothing about the job they were doing, and it shocked her. We’re they really letting anyone get a medical license these days? Of course she couldn’t show her frustration, but she was good at that. She just couldn’t understand how little they knew, and even worse how little they cared.

She wasn’t..Protective, over Emil or anything. She would feel the same way for any patient. Of course it’s heightened for him, he’s her one special patient. Not in that way. She was primarily treating him, she means. Which was normal, it was normal to care more about your favorite- no, main. Main patient. She was losing it. In her defense she slept sparsely last night, worried about work. Or maybe Emil. She needed to pull herself together.

She knew she could be more professional about her relationship with Emil, but it simply wasn’t like that. She had the right to be concerned about HER patient, she was the one person to properly care for him, so what was so wrong about that? Nothing. Anyways, she had bigger things to worry about. She of course agreed to see Emil tonight, but had no plans of going through with their session. She simply just wanted to make sure he was alright, the bandages wrapped around his head were a clear sign of the damage the shock therapy could be doing. And how sore the sides of his head hurt. She couldn’t help but wonder how he behaved after his sessions, if he acted differently at all. Part of her seeing him was concern, but it was also curiousity. In a way she wanted- no needed, to know everything about Emil. She assumed it would assist her in treating him, which would be nice. All she wanted was to help. But until then all she could do was sit at her desk, or run around doing whatever outlandish amounts of work the hospital had her do. It was clear they were taking advantage of her willingness to help and it was quite frustrating.

Emil was awoken earlier than usual that morning, taken out of his bed at around 4 am to do blood work. They did this everytime they did therapy on him, which left his head and arm sore. He wasn’t exactly sure why they did it, and at first he did ask but his questions were always pushed off or ignored. He also didn’t understand how early they forced him to be awake. He spent hours in a room full of chairs, one or two other patients accompanying them. It was the waiting room, meaning they usually tried to treat as many patients as they could in the same day. Is that ethical? He spent the whole time fiddling him thumbs. There were crayons and coloring books scattered about, but he had no interest in it. And even if he did all the pages were already scribbled on, the staff just didn’t care enough to purchase new ones.

Eventually at 2pm, hours after he had been ripped from his bed, it was his turn. But he was less than excited, more scared than anything else. He always got frightened when it was time for..That. And no matter how many times they did this, everytime he saw the table, the straps, the bright light, his skin raised in goosebumps and he let out an involuntary shiver. He was compliant though, letting them lay him in the table and strap his arms and legs down. At first he thought that maybe the straps were to stop the patients from acting up, and he was sure that was part of it, but he knew the main reason was to keep his body as still as possible when the shocks would run through him. He even opened his mouth for them to stick the muzzle in, he also wasn’t sure was this was for at first..But he quickly learned that it was to stop yourself from breaking your own teeth. He overheard the staff talking about it, once, how they had seen blood and chunks of teeth fly before from un-muzzled patients. That scared him, and made him appreciate the muzzle.

He began zoning out when they finally pressed the cold metal to his temples, his bandages long gone by this point. He doesn’t even remember when they removed them, to be honest. He closed his eyes, bracing for the inevitable seizure he was about to endure for ‘his own good’. He felt it at first, the burning pain and the way all of his muscles tensed up so painfully he was convinced they’d rip his skin to shreds.

After that he preferred to black whatever happened out.

By the time Emil was gaining enough consciousness to be aware of his surroundings he found himself held up by two staff, and then promptly put in his bed, well, rather shoved. He still wasn’t fully…There. But he knew where he was, and he knew his head was killing him. When he reached up he could feel they had put brand new bandages on his head but could feel where the plasma already made the bandages stick to his head. He curled up in his bed, despite how uncomfortable it was he was always thankful to be back in his bed by the end of his sessions. The sun was still up, but barely, but he felt so tired..He could sleep forever. He was slipping into sleep when he heard a knock on the door, and he groaned. He didn’t want to see anyone right now..Wasn’t that a given?

He stayed where he was, but he could hear the clacking of shoes from whoever was entering. “Emil? Are you alright?” The voice was soft, and he immediately recognized it as Dr. Mesmer. He rolled over to face her, but didn’t get up, his head just hurt far too badly. The woman frowned, she could read from his face how uncomfortable and unhappy he was. She sat in her designated chair, and Emil frowned, tensing up a bit. “No session today, I promise. I just wanted to check on you.” She reassured, and he softened up almost immediately. “H-Headache..” he groaned, his voice shaky. Even speaking made the pain worse, god.

Ada sighed, scooting her chair closer to the bed gently. “I’m sorry, Emil..I know it hurts you, hopefully my treatment can yield better results.” She said softly, “and then you won’t even need the shock therapy at some point. You can be rid of the bandages and headaches, won’t that be nice?” She smiled a little, just in an attempt to make the man feel even slightly better. He nodded, but Ada could tell it was still pained and she sighed. She put her hand forward, gently putting her hand into his hair. She held his head very softly, as to not hurt it anymore. She had noticed that when he got headaches he tended to hold his head, and she was sure doing it for him was more comfortable, right? This wasn’t a reason to touch him, right?

No bother, Emil seemed to enjoy it. He tensed up slightly at first, but it didn’t take him long to melt into the touch. At first he planned on talking, but it seemed fruitless. So he just laid there silently, enjoying the touch and closing his eyes. He knew he was going to fall asleep most likely, and he should tell Dr. Mesmer so she could leave but..He didn’t want to. He wanted her to stay and touch him, and she could leave after he drifted off anyways. Ada stayed there for a few minutes, scratching his scalp ever so gently every few seconds until she noticed how gently Emil’s breath became, and how he started breathing shallowly out of his mouth. She smiled, being slow when she pulled her hand away. She spent a minute or two just sitting there, watching Emil sleep. This was probably the most comfortable she’s ever seen him, he looked so vulnerable and she knew all his walls were down. She eventually sighed, staring out of the window at the sun setting before she stood. She pulled the blanket over Emil, letting her hand hover over Emil’s body before she eventually walked away.

Today was short.

Chapter Text

Emil slept in today, not in a rush to do anything. His head was pulsing and sleep was off and on, of course he wants to get as much as possible..He tried really hard to not doubt his doctors, but he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow here. So far none of this has helped whatsoever, just hurt..And even Dr. Mesmer seemed to doubt it…her opinion mattered, she was a doctor too. He was thankful she didn’t make him do a session last night, and flustered that she came just to check on him..Very much so. At first he assumed that maybe she had just saw how tired he was and decided the session wasn’t a good idea, but for some reason he felt differently now. It felt like she knew exactly when the shock therapy ended, and came to check up on him. That was truly shocking.

This idea put him in a different headspace. She came to see him..And it really seemed like she cared to see him, talk to him, get to know him. And he couldn’t help but want to know her too, he already felt safest around her. Not that that was a hard feat when stuck in here. Overall it was embarrassing and Emil had never felt this way before, so he couldn’t even put a name on it. He had always prided himself on not getting too hopeful with these doctors and treatments, he was good at not getting attached. But Dr. Mesmer seemed to have swept in just in time to take that away..

He didn’t understand why he felt so differently looking at her, he didn’t understand how even with his head aching and burning thinking about her seemed to make him forget about that. It was odd and he wanted to talk to Ada about it but he couldn’t seem weak. Why is he even thinking like this? Why is he worried about seeming weak infront of her? He was thinking too much and he just needed that to stop now.

He already missed breakfast, which as much as he despised he could also admit that it was nice to be around people, even if it was so far away from them. He felt more daring recently though, he felt like maybe he could even handle the common room..? The idea was already in his head and it wasn’t going to leave now, he could just sit in the corner alone. Yes. Just like lunch except there’s a TV, it really couldn’t be that hard. He sat up in his bed, poking at the sore spots on his head quickly before deciding it wasn’t as bad as it could be and he could definitely handle being around people. The walk to the common room felt like it took ages, and when he was finally faced with it he just stood there for a second. There were four girls talking quietly on a couch, two people in chairs watching TV and a dozen patients sitting on the floor at the table coloring. He just happened to pick the perfect day to do this, a small love seat was empty in the corner of the room, how perfect!

He quickly made his way to claim the loveseat, noticing that the movie on the TV was some random black and white romance movie, it was so far in that he truly had no idea what was happening on it. He took this time to properly examine the common room, as he had never really sat in there before. He knew it wasn’t just him that noticed this either, because the staff and a couple of more long term patients were looking at him as if he wouldn’t notice. Lost in his train of thought he almost didn’t notice the weight added to the other side of the love seat. When he felt it he immediately expected it to be Ada, and he did want to see her badly..But when he turned to the side he was met by a different brown haired woman.

She was a patient, like him. She had green eyes like him too, but just from her facial expression he could tell she was much happier than he was. She was already looking at him when he noticed her, and he was so in shock by the encounter he didn’t even say anything. “Hi.” The girl said, even her voice cheery and as sweet as candy. Emil didn’t answer, of course. “I’m Emma, I’ve never seen you out here before. Are you new?” She didn’t seem to feel rejected by Emil at all, apparently determined to make a friend. Emil just shook his head, despite how uneasy he felt by this girl he certainly didn’t feel threatened by her, he kind of just wanted her to leave him alone more than anything.

“Oh..well, I’m kind of new anyways. I miss my dad so much already..Do you miss your family at home?” She said, growing a tad more awkward and clearly trying to start a real conversation or at least save herself the embarrassment of a bad interaction. However her words did not help him open up at all..He wasn’t gonna tell her that he didn’t have a family like her. He didn't have a dad to miss. He just turned his head away from her, pretending to be very interested in the movie. Emma didn’t say anything else, but she also didn’t move. For a solid 20 minutes they sat in silence, the tension growing every second and Emils want for her to be gone growing stronger.

He was clutching his knees so tightly his knuckles turned white when his angel appeared, the one to save him from all of this. He heard the clacking of heels first, and his head immediately popped up, eyes locking onto Dr. Mesmer walking towards him. He swore his facial expression was one of pure gratefulness..He was made even more sure of this by the smile Ada showed when they locked eyes. By the time Ada was in front of the two he was sitting up straight and no longer holding onto his knees. Ada looked at the two, her smile not faltering even a little. She was shocked, of course. More than shocked that Emil was sitting next to someone, especially a girl..But she couldn’t be unprofessional. She seemed to be telling herself that a lot lately.

“Hello Emma, Hello Emil.” She greeted them, Emma smiled at Ada and waved quickly. Emil quickly realized that Emma must be Ada’s patient as well, for some reason that bothered him. “It’s really nice to see you out here, Emil. I went to your room to look for you and was surprised to see you gone.” She laughed softly, “anyways, I was looking for you because I need to speak with you if that’s alright. Will you come with me to my office?” She said softly, and Emil stood up so quickly he lost his balance and Ada had to grab onto his arm to steady him. “Mm..I-i mean, yes.” Emil said quickly, and Ada couldn’t help but admire his eagerness. “Alright well, I’ll be seeing you Emma. Don’t be scared to call for me.” She told the girl with a polite smile, Emil didn’t look at her. Ada gently led Emil to her Office, holding the door open for him and instructing him to sit down at her desk as usual.

Emil looked around Dr. Mesmers office, noticing the small new things she had added to her office. As well as the massive pile of files that had been added to her desk. He was so busy looking around he kind of forgot to talk. “So..you made a new friend, Emil?” She asked, smiling at him. Emil snapped out of his thoughts, shaking his head. He felt bad as Ada probably wanted him to make new friends..but he also wasn’t going to lie. “Ah I see, well I was surprised to see you out in the common room, especially sitting next to someone. I think that’s a clear sign of progress” she said matter of factly, and Emil couldn’t help but smile a bit. “I don’t really..know her. S-she just sat next to me.” He said, shrugging a little, almost trying to seem humble. He knew damn well that just a week or so ago if someone unexpectedly sat next to him and wouldn’t stop talking to him his reaction would be very different than it was.

Ada shook her head, “nonetheless you handled it amazingly. Emma is a newer patient and I was assigned to taking care of her.” Ada said, not exactly sure why she was telling Emil this, I guess she kind of just felt relieved that Emil wasn’t going to be putting his energy into someone else. Not for any weird reason, it was just better for his treatment for sure. Emil nodded, already figuring this out on his own anyways. “Anyways- I was wondering if tonight you wanted to have a session? I only would feel right about it if you were feeling better, so I trust you’ll tell me if you’re still in too much pain.” Emil quickly nodded, he missed his sessions with Ada, despite the down sides. “N-no! I want a session, please..D-Dr. Mesmer.” He said, his seriousness evident in his tone, Ada quickly wrote down a note about that.

“Of course, Emil. I’ll be sure to meet with you tonight. I’m glad to see you’ve taken such a liking to my methods, and that you also see the progress I’m seeing. You’re doing incredibly well Emil.” She said softly, her words genuine. Emils face turned a certain shade of pink at that last part and nodded in agreement. “T-thank you for making me better.” He said, and he almost sounded like a different person, his sentence came out so clearly other than the stutter, as if he had been practicing this line for years. “There’s no need to thank me Emil, and a lot of this is you, too. Don’t forget that.” She smiled at him, and for what felt like an eternity they just stared at each other. They were both so focused on the others eyes, nose, mouth, and nothing was awkward about it. They simply just admired each other.

Ada was brought back to her mind at the sound of the patients shuffling in for lunch, and she quickly checked the clock. “Right..I’m so sorry Emil but I do have some things I need to attend to, as well as it being your lunch time.” She stood up from her chair, motioning for him to do the same and to follow her. She walked to the door, “I’ll see you tonight of course, enjoy your lunch and I really can’t wait for our session tonight.” She opened the door up for him with a gentle smile. Emil couldn’t lie he was a little saddened to have to leave Ada and go to lunch, but he did. As soon as he got to the lunch room he noticed that Emma was sitting at HIS table. She must be extremely new to not know that that was his table..When Ada said ‘newer’ he didn’t know that she meant she arrived today. He got his food as usual, and sat down at his table with no other choice. He sat as far from Emma as he could.

The girl didn’t even try talking to him this time around, they ate in complete silence other than the occasional sound of a fork scraping a plate. And Emil was more than eager to get out of there when lunch finally ended like all the rest of the patients. He rushed to his room, sitting on his bed and just patiently waiting for Dr. Mesmer. He couldn’t help but feel excited for their session, but maybe even more so just seeing her. He thinks his favorite part of the sessions is afterwards when he’s just tired and Dr. Mesmer is just there with him.

He felt like he had waited forever when Dr. Mesmer finally showed up, knocking lightly on his door before letting herself in as usual. The clacking of her heels against the floor almost became something he looked forward to, because he knew it was her. When she finally stepped in to view Emil was already in the position he normally was for their sessions, but he was looking at Ada this time instead. The woman smiled, “hi, Emil” she said, moving to sit down in her regular seat next to the man’s bed. “I’m glad to see you’re so eager you’re already ready, you’ve really gotten into the routine of this!” Emil nodded, “y-yes..I’ve been waiting for this all day.” He said bluntly, and Ada herself couldn’t help but blush a little that he’d be waiting for her.

Ada nodded and smiled softer, “well, let’s start then.” Ada started asking him her base questions like how are you feeling? How has your sleep been? All of the basics, and they flew through that part pretty quickly. Ada couldn’t lie her nerves were definitely a bit evident when it came to the main part of the session, the hypnosis. Emils freakouts concerned her, but he was learning more every session..She couldn’t deny him the possibility of seeing the truth. By the time Ada was ready they had already subconsciously got where they needed to be, ready to start.

Ada blew the whistle gently, gentler than her past times. One thing she has learned from this is that slow and steady wins the race, and minimizes the negative effects on Emil. She visibly saw as his muscles melted into the bed, that same serene face that she loved coming back out. Once Emil was deep enough in his trance, Ada put the whistle down. “What do you feel, Emil?” She asked, prepared to write down whatever he said. “C-cold.” Was all Emil said at first, and he truly looked like he was almost shivering, despite the rather warm room they were in. “What else..?” She tried urging him to say more, explain more. “Hard floor..I-i see metal. It’s quiet.” He said, calmly. The scene he described sounded unpleasant, but for once Emil was calm. Ada opened her mouth to ask more, but was interrupted by Emil “i-it smells..bad. Rotten food..” he sighed, and Ada was quickly writing this all down.

“What do you see, Emil?” She said softly, and Emil stayed quiet for a moment, deep in thought. “Not much..it’s dark. T-the moon is shining.” Ada nodded. “Are you uncomfortable, Emil?” She saw his lips pursed. “No. I-I’ve been here forever.” Ada was alarmed by that, to say the least, forever? That was nonsense. She digressed. “What about sounds?” She hummed, “B-barking..” and that uncertain tone returned back to his voice as always, “A man..barking.” Ada wrote that down, “do you mean yelling, Emil?” She offered, trying to make more sense of the abstract scene Emil was painting for her. Emil’s eyes shut even more, looking almost painful, “yes..A-and whimpering, it’s not man.” He said, voice breaking and pausing at odd times. “I w-want..” he let out a deep sigh almost as if it was hard to breath “Dr.Mesmer”

Ada flushed, sitting there silently for a moment before realizing Emil was very much so still hypnotized. She figured that was enough for tonight, probably. She snapped, waking Emil right up. For once their routine of ending their hypnosis was different, there was no crying, no calming down. She felt that was progress, Emil wasn’t seeing sunshine and rainbows and yet he was learning to possibly regulate his emotions? His progress felt too quick almost. Emil rubbed his eyes, sat up and looked around for a second. Even he seemed surprised at the calm nature of this. “Was I..good?” Emil asked, wanting to break the silence as Dr. Mesmer was unusually quiet. “O-oh! Yes, Emil it was amazing. What I saw tonight was perfect, I see big progress in you!” She said, tucking a strand behind her ear almost as a nervous habit. Emil smiled softly at that, as well as sleepily. “..Thank you” he hummed, slowly sliding back down into a lying position.

Ada hummed, “Are you tired, Emil? I will let you sleep.” she offered gently, and Emil immediately nodded in response. The way he looked at Ada felt so different now than it was before. It was hard for her to believe he was the same hostile man she met nearly a week ago, she couldn’t help but feel pride in the bond she had formed with him that so many before her had failed at. Ada stepped up, looking at Emil for a second before pulling his blanket up on him farther, tucking him into the bed. And she swore she watched Emil fall asleep in less than 30 seconds after that, his breaths becoming soft.

As soon as he was asleep she rushed out of the room. Tucked him in? Seriously? What the hell is she even doing? She was starting to feel..too attached to Emil, as a patient of course. She almost laughed at the thought of more than that, Emil was her patient after all. And that was it, of course.

So why did it feel like they’re so much closer? She enjoyed plenty of her other patients, sure. Emma was pleasant, but Emil felt different. Maybe it was because he was the only one she used her hypnotherapy on. She felt as if it must be that. She was quick to clock out, and leave the asylum before she could overthink anything.