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Chapter Text

Knock knock knock . “Dad?” Knock knock. “Dad it’s me.” … “please come out and talk to us.” …

Isabella sighed, leaning against the wall. It had been three days since her dad had come back without Stede. Izzy was trying to convince the crew that he was just feeling a little under the weather but they all could see the truth. Everyone saw how her dad was head over heels for Stede when he’d still been their captain. Now that Stede was gone, her dad was utterly crushed. 

The pound of boots behind her broke her from her thoughts. “D’you mind?” Izzy gruffed, giving her a little scowl. “Also I thought I told you not to bug Blackbeard too much.”

“He’s my dad and he’s struggling. I’m not just gonna let him be alone!”

“Well tough shit because being alone is precisely what he wants and what he needs.”

“Says who?”

“Says his first mate, who’s been with him for decades .” 

Isa narrowed her eyes at him but said nothing more. Izzy fixed heft with a similar glare and slipped into the captains quarters. 

Of course Izzy the spewer wasn’t making things easier for any of them. He insisted that none of them were to disturb the captain, including her. He was the only one who’d seen hide or hair of her dad the entire three days. It was always Izzy that was given memos about what the crew needed do, Izzy that got updates on how Ed was feeling, Izzy who actually got to see him. Not even his own daughter got that privilege. 

The familiar bitterness wormed into Isas mouth as it had every time she thought about her relationship with her dad. She shouldn’t have been so forgiving to him but he was her only family…no. Thinking about that hurt far more than it should. As she often did, she shoved the less than helpful thoughts into the back of her mind and left them there. She needed to focus on being there for her dad…if he ever let her in

The door opened and for a moment Isa was hopeful that her dad was coming out again only for those hopes to be replaced with disappointment when she was met with dizzy Izzy again. He fixed her with another glare but said nothing as he breezed past, closing the door behind him. Isa sighed and resumed her knocking. At this point she was very much beating a dead horse but she couldn’t think of anything else to do. 

“Dad?” She pleaded. “Can you please come out? Everyone is worried… I’m worried.” Still nothing but silence. “Whatever happened…we…” she sighed. “I’m really bad at this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” There was no answer. There hadn’t been an answer for a long time. Why was she even bothering anymore?

Her fingers laid against the smooth wood, knuckles red and aching from so much knocking. 

“Please…”

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, her forehead pressed against the wood. Soon enough, there were footsteps behind her again. 

“What the fuck do you want now?” She barked, not even bothering to turn around. 

“Er, captain asked to see me?” Lucius’s baffled voice sounded from behind her. 

She glanced over her shoulder and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry Lu.” She lamented. “I thought you were-”

“Izzy? Yeah I kinda gathered.” He answered with a weak chuckle. “Apparently Blackbeard wants a word with me.” A little tremble worked through his body but Isa only half noticed. A muted twist settled in her stomach and the bitter taste came to her mouth again. 

He wanted to see Lucius but not her. Izzy, as much as she despised the man, was still his first mate and had been his friend for years so she could somewhat understand. But she was his daughter and he hadn’t once asked to see her. 

“You alright?” Lucius asked. She sighed, as pissed off as she was, she couldn’t bring herself to direct her bitterness at the scribe. It wasn’t his fault. The anger tampered away to muted annoyance as she rubbed her sore eyes. 

“Yeah. Just tired.” She lied. 

“I can see that. When was the last time you slept?” He asked, setting a hand on her forehead. 

“Define sleep.” Because if he meant laying down and closing her eyes without ever getting any actual rest, she’d gotten plenty. 

Lucius gave her a look. “Go. Sleep.”

“But…” she looked back at the door. If he wasn’t going to come out and talk to her, she was better off saving her breath. “Okay.”

The pointed expression on the scribes face softened and he set a hand on her shoulder. “Hey try not to worry too much, ‘kay?” He assured. “I’ll try and get him to talk a little.” 

She nodded, giving him a weak smile before turning and stumbling to her cabin. She likely wouldn’t get any sleep but she was clearly wasting her time trying to get her dad to come out and talk. When she made it to her cabin, she didn’t even bother pulling back the covers before she collapsed on her bed. 

Despite her exhaustion she couldn’t get her mind to shut off, just as she’d been unable to do the night before and the night before that. No matter how she tossed and turned, she couldn’t nod off. 

The bitter taste on her tongue only grew worse as her mind wandered, shouting at her. It had been there the entire three days since her dad had come back.  

Come back alone. 

Without Stede. 

The fucker had left him. Left the entire crew, left her. 

Her brow twisted into a tight curl and she grabbed her pillow, shoving it against her face. She thought he cared. About her dad, about all of them. Guess she was wrong. 

The tightness returned to her eyes and she shoved her face further not the pillow, smushing the fluff against her eyelids. 

She hadn’t been able to make him stay. 

Don’t be ridiculous. He wouldn’t have stayed or left just because of her. He probably didn’t even think of her. She could hardly blame him. 

Dammit don’t cry! He doesn’t deserve your tears. He left you. 

No he didn’t leave her. He left her dad. He forgot about her. 

She tightened her jaw, refusing to let her lower lip start to tremble. 

She wanted to call him father. She’d actually considered calling him father and he hadn’t even cared enough to think about her when he walked away. 

He didn’t care he didn’t care!

Shut up! Stop it!

“Hey Bell?” Lucius’s voice sounded from the other side of the door. How long had he been standing there?

“Hmm?” She answered. 

“We’re having a thing on deck for your dad.”

For a moment Isa wasn’t sure she’d heard correctly but when the realization kicked in. She flew out of bed and yanked open the door. 

“You mean…you got him out of his room?” She breathed. 

“Yeah.” He set a hand on her shoulder. “He asked for me so I could write down some song lyrics for him and I managed to get him talking.”

Something loosened in her chest at this news. He’d finally come out of his room and he was trying to get better. Without thinking, she threw her arms around Lucius, hugging him tightly. The scribe was a bit caught off guard, a quick “ Hoof ” escaping him as she hugged him but after a split second of shock, he wrapped his arms around her as well. 

“Thank you.” She whispered. “Thank you thank you thank you.”

“Bell…” something sad was in his voice. “He’s not out of the woods yet and he has a long way to go.” She looked up at him, a question in her eyes. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up and think he’s completely fixed only to see he’s still really far into depression.”

She sighed. “Yeah. I didn’t expect him to make a full turnaround so quickly.” She tucked her head under his chin. “I’m just glad he finally left his room.”

Lucius gave her a squeeze. “These things don’t happen overnight. But your dad has been around the block quite a few times. He’s strong. I know he’ll bounce back.”

She nodded, gently pulling away and following Lucius out into the deck, where most of the crew was gathered around a figure in a red silk dressing gown. “Dad?”

Ed turned to look at her, a very weak smile coming to his face. “Heya songbird.” He sighed, the tears on his cheeks still glimmering in the morning early afternoon sun. 

She gave him a sad look and sat down next to him. “Dad…what happened?”

He sighed again. “Dunno if I’m ready to talk about it yet.” He whispered. She nodded and he gave her a sad smile, ruffling her hair. “But I’m really glad to see you.” 

She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m glad to see you too.”

The sad smile grew a little brighter when he saw the braid on her shoulder, the strip of red silk still showing proudly against the dark locks. “D’you want it back?” She asked, following his gaze. 

“Nah. I still have my half.” He took the braid in his hand, the dark hair smooth and cool in his palm. “It looks good on you.” She gave a sad smile and squeezed his hand again. 

Her dad glanced over her shoulder and a mini smile came to his face again. “Oi Frenchie!” He called as the minstrel stepped out from the galley. “Need a word with you.” Isa broke off and sat herself down in a barrel, watching as the two spoke. 

Lucius had been right. He was really close to falling off the edge, dangerously close. But seeing how he was at least out of his room and interacting with the crew. She wasn’t going to get her hopes up, as Lucius had advised her, but she did let a traitorous little glimmer of optimism sneak into her chest. 

She did her best to just focus on that and not the gross feelings that had been lying dormant; some only for a few days but others had been around for weeks. She couldn’t even put into words what she was feeling. Just a sick tightness in her stomach and chest whenever she thought about her dad leaving with…she cringed. On top of that, she was still struggling with the aftermath of dealing with the raid and arrest, Chauncey’s questioning, the act of grace, the captains leaving them to deal with Izzy , losing her dad only to suddenly get him back…without Stede. 

Stop it. 

She didn’t want to go down that path. Not now, not ever. Her dad was doing better. It was slow but he was at least trying to improve. No sense thinking too much on what had happened, especially with how delicate her dead’s situation was. He didn’t need her bringing him down. 

The salty bitter taste in her mouth flared again but she shoved it back down. When she looked at her dad, it only got worse and she had to shove it all down again and set her attention on the rest of the crew. Most of them had gathered, they were just missing Lucius, Fang and Ivan, Roach, and Oluwande…no wait…nope there was Olu, they were just missing Roach, Fang, Ivan, and Lucius, who was probably sprinting around gathering everyone. She expected Olu to shut the door to below deck but he left it open, someone  following after…

“Jim!” She squealed, all but tackling the Spaniard as she threw her arms around them. Jim was certainly caught off guard and Isa went a bit red, remembering Jim wasn’t much of a touchy-feely kind of person. “Sorry.” She gave them a sheepish grin and pulled away. 

“Nah ‘s all good.” They said with a little chuckle. “You miss me or something cachorro ?”

“ Callate, idiota. ” She teased fondly. “Good to have you back.”

“Good to be back.” They replied, ruffling her hair. 

“You actually missed this place?” A little trace of shock was in her voice. “I kinda thought you hated most of the crew.”

Jim snorted a short laugh. “‘Most of the crew’? Not ‘us’?” They teased, their voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Oh I know you don’t hate me.” She answered, just as sarcastic. “I’m too lovable.”

They snorted again. “ Tan humilde tambien. ” She wrinkled her nose at them. 

Once the shock of their return had worn off, she got a better look at them both. The sweat on Jim’s face was thicker than it usually was and Oluwandes shirt was crooked, most if not all the buttons were in the wrong hole. Most telling was that every time they looked at each other, Oluwande would glance away and blush beet red and a little smirk would come to Jim’s face, along with a little blush of their own. 

“Soooo did you two do anything fun?” She teased in her best annoying little sister voice. 

“Little shit.” They lightly socked her arm. 

The three chittered among themselves for a little until the rest of the crew was gathered and her dad cleared his throat. “So…I’ve er, I’ve been a bit off the grid for a few days. I’m sorry I’ve left you all hanging.” He looked pointedly at Isabella and the strange bitter taste settled in her mouth again. “I’ve had a lot of heavy things running around in my head and I didn’t know how to deal with them. Lucius was kind enough to talk it out with me and I came up with some song lyrics to try and capture what I’ve been feeling. I er, I wanted to share it with you because I know you lot are all for talking things through.” He cleared his throat as Frenchie started plucking the melody on his life and her dad started to sing. 

The song wasn’t too bad…okay it was awful. But what caught Isabella’s attention the most was just how broken the lyrics were. They were blunt so there was no mistaking them for a metaphor. The pain behind them was too obvious to ignore. And her dad looked so broken while singing them. The rest of the crew were exchanging looks of confusion or secondhand embarrassment but Isa kept her eyes on her dad, heart aching the entire time. 

“Life’s a hard, sad death. And then. You’re. Deeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaad.” The final note faded out and the crew started awkwardly clapping, not entirely sure what they’d just witnessed. 

“That’s uh. That’s really great stuff Ed.” Roach complimented weakly. At least he was trying?

“His name is Blackbeard or Captain !” Izzy barked. 

“Izzy, Izzy no.” Ed corrected, standing from his crate, the silk gown fwooshing like a waterfall. “I actually do want to be called Edward from now on.” Isa's chest loosened a little more. She recalled their chat while at the bazaar about how the name of Blackbeard would sometimes be too heavy for him to bear. The rest of the crew all had expressions ranging from horrified to indifferent but Isa was thrilled at the news. “And thank you, you guys. It’s pretty difficult to lay yourself bare in front of others, y'know?”

There were a few murmurs of agreement and some half assed compliments. Ed gave them a weak smile and went on. 

“Okay well if any of you feel the need to express yourselves I’m sure Lucius would be happy to help you out the way he did for me.” The look on Lucius’s face suggested that he very much objected to being volunteered like that but the Swede looked thrilled. Already he was looking at Lucius with his hand raised, pointing to himself excitedly. 

“My genius won’t be translated into human language.” Buttons objected. “More like pure tone.” Isa exchanged a skeptical look with Wee John as Buttons let out a noise that was somehow five different notes at once. Her dad looked caught off guard for a moment but when Buttons finished, a huge smile came to his face as he grabbed the Scotsman by the jacket. 

“That. Was fucking amazing!” He gasped. “Guys the sheer level of talent we have on this ship! Why are we even just being pirates?” The crew all murmured in agreement, Isa included. “You know what? We should have a talent show!” The murmurs turned into cheers and whispers of excitement. Even Jim seemed intrigued by the idea, flipping their knife in one hand with a thoughtful look on their face. 

“I can do accents!” Pete chirped. “Does that count as a talent?”

“I don’t see why not.” Ed answered. “Anything you wanna show off, no matter how silly.”

The excited murmurs started up again. Already Frenchie and Wee John were discussing what the harpies could do and Lucius was already making a schedule and set list. 

Isa ran over to her dad and threw her arms around him. 

“What’s all this then?” He asked with a little chuckle. 

“I’m just glad to have you back.” She whispered. “I…” her voice faltered. “I thought I was gonna lose you altogether.”

“Hey no stupid naval camp is gonna keep me locked up.” He said proudly. 

“I wasn’t talking about the navy.”

Ed was confused for a moment until a look of realization came to his face and he hugged her again. “Yeah. I thought I was too.” He gave her a little squeeze. “Hey, I really need to tidy up the captain's cabin. Think you could give me a hand?”

“Glad to.” Isa agreed as she followed him back through the captains door. 

To say that the cabin needed to be tidied was an understatement. She’d never seen such a mess in her life and she didn’t even see the extent of it until she pulled open the drapes and let a bit of light in. 

“How in the world were you living like this?” She asked, looking around at the empty bottles littered around the floor. 

“Your guess is as good as mine.” He said with a chuckle. 

“So where should we start?”

“I’ll get the clothes if you get the trash?” Ed suggested. Isa nodded and picked up a bin, starting to gather the bottles. 

There wasn’t too much tension between them but there were a lot of unasked questions. Isa wasn’t sure if her dad could tell she wanted to ask something but if he did, he wasn’t making it obvious. Finally after a long and very intense internal battle with herself (“should I say something? Will that just make him upset? I mean I really wanna know. I have a right to know don’t I? But should I say anything? I mean if he wanted to talk, he’d talk. Unless he’s waiting for me to ask?”) Ed called her out. 

“I can hear you stewing like a pot of tea over there.”

“Oh. Sorry.” A bashful little smile came to her face. 

“Nah you’re good.” He paused. “Whatever you need to ask, I won’t get mad.”

She paused for a moment, turning the questions over in her mind before sighing. “What happened?”

He let out a breath of his own and set the basket down, sitting himself on the couch. “We’d made a plan to escape. I’d get a boat ready and Stede was supposed to meet me at the dock a few hours before dawn.”

She gave him a sad look and sat down next to him. “He didn’t turn up?”

He shook his head. “I waited for four hours before I finally got it through my head that he wasn’t coming.” His tone was neutral, even, but she could sense the rage and pain hidden just underneath. 

“Oh dad,” she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

He sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “It is what it is.” He hummed. “Doesn’t matter. Can’t do anything to change it.”

The ache in her chest grew a bit worse. “You’re not alone you know.” She whispered. “Any of us will drop what we’re doing if you need us. If you need to talk to us.”

Her dad smiled. It was weak and tired, leaning on cynical or pessimistic but it was still a smile. “Thanks songbird.” He whispered, kissing her forehead. 

The next five or ten minutes passed quietly, with them continuing with their own tasks until a knock came to the door and Frenchie poked his head inside. 

“Could I borrow Isa for a second?” He asked. “Wee John and I had an idea for the talent show and we need to work out some harmonies.”

Isa looked at her dad. “D’you still need me? I can go with him later.”

“Nah go on. I’m intrigued about this idea.” He chuckled. “And dont come back until you have it down perfect.”

Isa giggled and gave him a little joking salute. “Yessir!” 

He gave her a weak smile. “Oh, d’you mind sending Izzy in? He can give me a hand with the cleaning until you’re done  with The Harpies.” 

To her credit the annoyance that sparked in her chest as soon as he said the fuckers name didn’t show on her face. She forced a smile and nodded, starting to follow Frenchie before phasing. After a quick thought, she dashed back over to her dad, throwing her arms around him again. 

“I’m really proud of you dad.”

“Thanks songbird.” He whispered back. “That means a lot to me.” She pulled away and he ruffled her hair before sending her on her way again. 

Even on a good day, Isabella Noa-Teach was not an optimist. But when the little hopeful glimmer returned to her chest, she didn’t squash it down like she usually would. She just let herself feel it without worrying about everything being ruined. 

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

Chapter Text

A loud clunk woke Isa from the first full night's sleep she’d had in days. She dashed out of bed when an angry scolding shout reached her ears. Not even bothering to change out of her nightgown, she raced into the hallway to see the crew all lined up, passing books, furniture, and trinkets to each other, the assembly line leading out to the deck. The loud shouting continued, coming from the captains quarters. 

“We don’t have all day! Pick up the pace!” Izzy barked. 

“What’s going on?!” Isa demanded, her eyes tracing down the line of her friends as they pulled the books down from stedes shelves. 

“Finally up I see.” Izzy snapped. Was it her imagination or was there fear in his eyes? “Get dressed and get in line. There’s a lot to be done.”

“Not until I hear what’s happening.”   She argued. 

“All of this junk needs to be gone. Throw it overboard.”

“Says who?!”

The fearful grin came back to Izzy’s face. “Blackbeard specifically requested it.” 

A chill ran down Isa's back at the name. 

No. No he was lying. This was a trick. Her dad…he’d been making progress. 

“I don’t believe you. Where’s my dad?!” 

“He’s asked to not be disturbed until everything is gone.”

“I want to see my dad.” She stood her ground. 

“Tough shit. You have two options; get dressed and help get rid of all this garbage or you can cool off in the brig.”

She took a breath, the seething rage inside her threatened to reach its boiling point but she had to stay calm. Something about this didn’t add up. She suspected Izzy was behind all this. Alright she’d play his game for a little. Just until she was able to get to her dad. 

She went back to her room and dressed quickly, resisting the urge to pinch herself, in case this was all a bad dream. No. No, yesterday was the dream. She should have known it was too good to be true. No she couldn’t think like that. She’d talk to her dad and get all this figured out. 

Izzy was still standing watching the line with a grumpy look on his face when she rejoined the group. He greeted her with a roll of his eyes and an order to “Get in line we need all the hands we can get.”

Isa glanced at the men passing books to each other one by one. “It would probably go faster if you didn’t go with an assembly line.” She retorted. 

“Did you just talk back to me brat?” He barked. 

“Do you want it to take hours to finish? Because it’s going to take forever if you keep making them throw things over one by one.”

“This is the most efficient way to do it. Makes sure everyone is working instead of slacking off. Now get in line.”

“Alright. But you said my dad wanted this gone as soon as possible and I don't think he’s gonna be happy when he sees we’re not even half done after two hours.” She challenged. 

Izzy’s face twisted into an ugly scowl as he weighed his options and once again the little glimmer of fear passed through his eyes. So she wasn’t imagining things before. “Whatever.” He snorted. “Ivan! Tell the crew to start grabbing what they can.” With that be turned and stomped out the door, which was wen Isa finally noticed that he was limping. A cane was in his hand and blood soaked bandages covered his right foot. 

Ivan and Fang gave Isa a mournful look as they started gathering handfuls of books and more of Stede's belongings. Isa watched as Izzy walked away, shaking her head as she started grabbing what she could. 

An ache came to her chest as she picked two large books from the shelf. One was the collection of fairy tales that Stede would read to the crew before lights out. The crew adored those stories and it hurt her more than she could say that it was about to become fish food. The other was Stede's anthology of Shakespeare plays and sonnets. The sour taste returned to her mouth at the thought of Stede but the memory of just how excited he was when she asked to borrow it to practice her reading still brought a cheerful glimmer to her chest. 

The crew started filing in and grabbing what they could, not even noticing her standing still and staring at the books in her arms. Doing her best to be inconspicuous, she held the books to her chest, walking out into the hall and slipping into her room while no one was looking. 

A sigh of relief left her as she closed the door behind her, tucking the books under her mattress. She was certain that when her dad figured out what Izzy told the crew to do, he’d be horrified. Maybe seeing that she’s saved two of his books would lessen the blow. For a moment, she wondered if she should grab the books from the thunder nook before deciding against it. They were safer where they were and nobody knew it was there except her and Lucius. 

Still, maybe she should check. 

She liked her head out into the hall and slipped away onto the deck. Still nobody paid her any mind as she crept over to the lower deck and wandered to the door to the galley. Something felt wrong as she stepped out of the morning sunlight and into the shadowy underbelly of the deck. She couldn’t put her finger on it but it felt like something was missing, something critical. 

Whatever. She was probably just being paranoid. 

Okay thunder nook. 

Footsteps sounded not too far away and she pressed herself against the wall as the footsteps passed. 

Izzy? What was he doing down here? Probably nothing good. 

Deciding to get the books later, she waited for Izzy to turn the corner before following him. It was just her luck that Izzy was constantly looking over his shoulder so she needed to stay hidden practically the entire time but she managed to avoid his eyesight. Where was he going?

He turned another corner and she waited five seconds until she followed. Well fuck where did he go now? How could she lose him that quic-

“-and you’re sure you want to be rid of all of them?” Wait there he was. His voice floated from inside one of the spare rooms. 

“Not sure. I’m still in the fence about some of them that might be useful.” That was her dad!

Without thinking, she dashed into the room and nearly screamed at the sight of him. 

Kohl lined his eyes and jawline and he was once again wearing his Blackbeard leathers. Even if he were still wearing the red robe, she still would have been shaken by the look in his eyes. They were empty and dark, the spirit and hope that was in them not even twelve hours ago was long gone, replaced with cold numbness. She could barely recognize him. 

A little tremble worked through her body, despite her efforts not to let them see. Slowly, like a tiger stalking a deer, Ed stood from his chair, walking smoothly towards her. 

Ever since meeting her dad, she’d never once felt intimidated by him. Sure at first he gave her all kinds of mixed signals and was very aloof towards her but she was never nervous or intimidated. She never worried about him hurting her. 

She couldn’t say the same now. 

“What are you doing down here?” He asked, his voice low. 

“I-I…I was just…”

“How much did you hear?”

“Nothing! I swear I didn’t hear anything.”

He gave her a good long look, his eyes narrowed, examining her every move as one would examine a bug or rare stone. 

“I don’t believe you.” He snorted. 

“I’m not lying.” She defended. “I-I swear I’m not lying!”

“Do you think I’m dumb?”

“I…”

“I can see right through you, you know. You might as well be made of glass when I’m with you.” She was quiet. “Your captain gave you an order! Tell me the truth!”

“I am!” She stood her ground doing her best to not let her nerves get the better of her. 

Ed gave her a good long look again and then turned away. “Izzy!” He barked. “Escort Isabella to the brig. That might teach her to be a bit more obedient.”

Isas eyes widened at this order and her heart pounded but she said nothing. Aside from her eyes, she was the picture of calm. 

The glimmer of fear came to Izzy’s face again but he did as he was told, trying to grab her wrist. 

“Take your goddamn hands off me.” She growled, giving her dad a dirty look as she followed the first mate down the hall, to a set of stairs, and then down to the brig. 

Funny. This was the first time she’d even been in this room. Stede rarely used it and she never saw the need to be down there. 

A shiver ran down her body as she stepped into the room. Despite the fact that it was made of wood, the room was strangely cold and there were chains hanging on the wall. Still she said nothing as Izzy opened the cell door but as she stepped inside, she gave him a long, cold glare. 

“You did this, didn't you?”

A small flick of doubt and regret showed on Izzy’s face for a fraction of a heartbeat before his expression was blank again. 

“I had to.” Was all he said as he stuck the key in the lock, giving her one last look before exiting once again, leaving her alone. 

Honestly, she wasn’t sure what was going to finish her off first; the uncertainty or the boredom. As she usually did when she was stuck in a small space, she occupied her time by pacing back and forth. When her feet started to hurt too much to keep walking, she sat down and stared at the wall, counting all the nails that held the room together (257). 

She repeated this cycle until she felt like she’d gone insane. It could have been an hour or a day for all she knew. The entire time, the only thing she could think about was her dad. 

What had happened to him? What in the world went through his mind in those few hours when he was on his own? And why did Izzy-

Izzy. 

A hot boiling rage began to bubble in her stomach like a heated cauldron. Her dad had asked her to send in Izzy while she went to rehearse with the Harpies. Shortly after that he disappeared. Whatever Izzy had said to him in that brief period when they were left alone had sparked something. It had sent her dad off the deep end. 

The rage began to fester like an old untreated wound, becoming rotted and foul, sending anger through her veins. Not just anger. Hatred. Pure unfiltered hatred. She’d never felt something this extreme in her entire life. While she knew that she’d have to go on the defensive to survive in this world, she didn’t consider herself a violent person and she’d never felt anything more than muted annoyance or anger for anyone she didn’t like. Not this time. Someone had lit a flame in the pit of her belly and it was rapidly growing into a wildfire, spreading all throughout her brain and destroying any peaceful thought that entered her mind. 

Izzy Hands had utterly destroyed her happy life. 

As God was her witness, she’d never forgive him. 

The click of the lock yanked her out of her thoughts as Fang stepped inside the brig. A sigh of relief left her as he opened the cell door and she rushed to his arms, hugging him tightly. 

“What’s happened?” She whispered, her fists closing around the fabric of his shirt. “He was fine yesterday. How did he change again so quickly?”

“I dunno hon.” He lamented. “I wish I could give you an answer.” He cupped the back of her head, ruffling her hair. 

She sighed again. “Thanks for springing me.” She hummed. “How long have I been down here?”

“Bout four or five hours.”

“Holy shit!” She gasped. “I’m honestly surprised Wee John didn’t come bashing the door down to get me sooner.” She knew how protective her fellow Irishman was of her. “Then again I wouldn’t want to risk making my dad angry when he…” her voice faltered when she saw the look in Fangs eyes as soon as she mentioned Wee John. He pursed his lips and looked away, remorse glimmering in his eyes as he stared at the floor. “Fang?” She asked. “Has something happened to the crew?” The twist in his brow deepened and he appeared to be on the verge of tears. “What’s happened? What did my dad do?!”

Fang took a shaky breath, eyes squeezed shut. “We marooned them.” 

The shock hit Isabella like a wave of icy water. Every muscle in her tensed and her hands twitched like crushed insects. For a split second the only thing in her mind was a long, low tone, like she’d been close to a big explosion. “I…I don’t believe you. You’re lying!” She accused. Fang shook his head and before she could stop herself, she was bolting up the stairs, already breathless when she reached the galley and ready to drop by the time she got to the deck. Sure enough, in the distance was a little barren rock where a cluster of figures stood together. Even from the ship she could see Oluwandes bright colored hat and the Swedes blonde hair as they slowly sailed away. 

“No…” Isabella breathed. 

“I’m so sorry hon.” Ivan set a hand on her shoulder. 

Angry prickles danced in her throat and the familiar tightness say behind her eyes but she shoved it all down as she spun around, grabbing Ivan by the jacket. “Turn around.” She ordered. “We’re not leaving them there! Turn us around right now!”

Was she mistaken or was that remorse in his eyes? Something else too. Fear. “‘M sorry, kid. I can’t.”

“I’m the captains daughter, I outrank you so you need to do as I say!” She didn’t want to wave her title around like that but she had no other choice. “And I say turn around and get them back.”

Ivan shook his head again. “Blackbeard gave specific orders to leave ‘em there and to not go back unless he said.”

The tightness behind her eyes turned to a blazing rage that settled in her head and in the center of her chest. Without saying another word to Ivan, she turned on her heel and stalked to the captains door. Everyone she passed could practically see the smoke rising from the tips of her ears as she threw open the door and stomped down the hall, throwing open the door to the now empty captains quarters in a similar manner. 

“You’re unhinged!” She bellowed, eyes locked on her father. He looked up from the map sprawled over the desk, heavy black circles blending in with the kohl stained under his eyes. 

“What did you just say?” He challenged. 

“I said you’re unhinged.” She repeated. 

He rose from his seat, sauntering over so he was standing directly in front of her, towering over her like an oak. 

A very uncomfortable murmur ripple around the small crowd of unfamiliar faces gathered around the table. “You listen here-“

“No, you listen! You’ve gone completely off the rails!” She shouted. “You think that just because you’re in pain, you’re allowed to be an ass. Well you weren’t the only one that got left behind.” Blackbeard's eyes narrowed. A very small glimpse of pain slipped through the wall of anger that Isabella had built up but she was too wired to keep herself in check. The fury coursed through her until she felt like she was going to explode. “Whatever excuse you have for leaving them behind like that isn’t good enough so don’t even bother trying.” 

“Choose your next words very carefully, girl.” He growled. 

She crossed her arms, shifting her weight to one leg. “Or what? You’ll maroon me too? If you wanna stop throwing a tantrum like a toddler, there’s still time to go back and make things right.” She looked at Izzy, the rage boiling even more as she remembered it was his words that drove him to this. Okay she needed to fix this. “Where’s Lucius?” The scribe was always much better at getting through to people. He’d gotten her dad out of his shell the first time so she had to at least try and get him to help again. Izzy was silent. “Answer me, Hands. Where is Lucius?”

“Dead.” Blackbeard answered for him. 

Isabella's entire body went cold. “What?”

“Tossed him overboard last night.” He went on. “Good riddance, was getting really annoyed with that little pretentious-“

“What the absolute fuck has happened to you?!” Isabella screamed. “Two days ago you were trying to get better and now you’re on a killing spree! Stede would be disgusted by-“ the words died in her throat at a quick flash of movement but she didn’t flinch. His hand was reared back, getting ready to strike but it didn’t move. Everyone in the room held their breath as they waited. Waited for what, Isabella wasn’t sure of. For her to say something? For him to go through with it? She didn’t know. 

A very brief flash of nerves blared through her system before the anger returned with a vengeance. Slowly he lowered his hand but the twist in his brow showcased his guilt loud and clear. 

He…he was actually going to slap her. He only stopped himself at the last moment when a glimmer of that shock won over in the end. In the brief respite, the tiny droplets of honey shown in his eyes once more before fading back into the dark brown depths. 

The shock in her chest echoed in the eyes of the crew. Shock, but not surprise. Everyone who knew of him knew he was a violent man after all. But few people ever suspected that he’d ever raise his hand against a child. Especially his own. 

Izzys expression was halfway between relieved and horrified, Fang and Ivan were looking from her to her father, conflict and fear in their eyes. And Ed? Blackbeard's face was blank as he looked from his hand to her face. Though his expression was blank, his eyes were swimming with conflict. Guilt, indifference, even his own bit of shock. But he didn’t move. None of them moved. They all stood like a gaggle of statues, staring at her. They wanted her to say something? Fine. 

Rage shone in her eyes as she whispered only loud enough for Ed to hear. “You’re just like your father.”

A drop of pain mixed in with the cocktail of conflict in his eyes but he still said nothing, even as Isabella turned on her heel and stalked right back out the door, down the hall and back into her cabin. Still he said nothing. He just stood there. Staring at his hand. 

The rage refused to cease, even as she stormed down the hall and into the quiet of her own cabin. Against the stillness of the quiet room, her thoughts screamed in her mind, taking all her focus and killing any semblance of sanity. 

He was going to hit her. He was actually going to slap her. Her own father…

No. 

Her dad died the moment he raised his hand. That wasn't him anymore. 

That was Blackbeard.

The rage parted like the Red Sea, giving way to a bitter sorrow underneath. Everything had to be so confusing now and she didn’t have anyone to turn to. Her friends were all marooned on a little barren rock miles away, her closest friend among the crew was now at the bottom of the ocean, Stede was gone, and what was likely her only living family was the one responsible for all this misery. 

The anger was so heated and crazed that it felt like her head would explode into a shower of sparks at any second.  

A tiny glimmer caught her eye in the lantern light. Draped over the chair was a long triangle of knitted silver, the shawl that her father had gotten her, back when he still was recognizable as her father. Not…this. 

The pain only worsened as she held the shawl to her chest, her mind bringing the happy memory of that day to the front of her thoughts. It was all a lie, a mockery. The joy, the safety, the sense of family, she was so stupid to think it would last. Now the good times were just there to mock her, just remind her that any good thing she had could and would be taken away at a moment's notice. 

She forced the pain down into the deepest pit in her chest, locking it in with a tiny key behind a heavy iron door. She couldn’t afford to let anyone see, not this crowd. Certainly not Blackbeard. 

As thorough as she was when it came to packing it all in, a tiny drop of sorrow found it’s way out from behind the iron, poisoning her thoughts and replacing every sense in that moment with a horrid, crippling anguish. 

That did it. 

She was going back to Ireland and nothing would change her mind.

Chapter Text

It was a blessing she was good at going unnoticed. Even as the only girl on the crew and the captains daughter to boot, nobody paid her any mind. They were all too focused on not pissing off her da…the Kraken. Even Izzy had taken a break from antagonizing her to trail after him in hopes that he’d be spared when the next explosive episode happened. 

No. Don’t think about the son of a bitch. It’ll just make you angrier. 

She took a breath, resuming her collecting. 

Nobody was in the kitchen so she was free to take what she wanted. She wasn’t exactly sure where they were so she didn’t know how long it would take to get her back to Ireland so it was a good idea to pack too much. Better than the alternative. 

The ache in her chest returned as she thought of her friends starving to death on the little island. Of course he would opt for one of the most slow and painful options. Couldn’t even be merciful and take them out with a shot to the head. 

A strong tightness pinched behind her eyes. 

Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry. Stay strong for them, lass. 

At first she’d thought about going to find them on her way home but she had no idea where the rock was. It was too small to be on any kind of map and even if it wasn’t, she was still a newbie at maps and nautical charts and all that noise. What was more she didn’t know how far away the ship was from the island or what direction it was even in. If by some miracle she did find them, it would be too late. 

Don’t fucking cry! She shook her head as she continued to stuff oranges and hardtack into her sack. She had to be careful when it came to packing. If she took too much too quickly, someone would notice so she had to take a little bit at a time then hoard it in her room, rinse and repeat. 

When she filled her sack to her satisfaction, she crept back to the west wall. Making sure no one was around to see, she grabbed hold of the little crate marked by a P and turned it sharply to the left. The door swung open and she slipped inside, racing through the pitch black hallway until she found the ladder and climbed back up. Walking around the deck with a big suspicious sack would raise too many questions so the passages had really come in handy. Though every time she went in, she was struck with the uncanny feeling that she was being watched so she did her best to be in and out of them as fast as she could. 

She quickly reached the door that let out just next to her cabin and peeked through the knothole she made to see if anyone was coming before clicking open the door again. 

She’d packed most of the clothes she’d need and her food supply would last her a month or two if she rationed properly. If her calculations were correct, she had enough supplies to leave that night.

That only left one very large problem; how would she even know where in the hell she was going? If she could nab a compass she’d at least know what direction she was going in (how to get to Ireland? Just go north. If you hit Iceland you’ve gone too far) but if she got turned around and ended up in some random latitude or longitude, it would take a lot of guesswork to get her back in the right direction. Time was not something she had an abundance of; when her food ran out, that would be it so she had to get her route plotted out correctly and quickly. A compass alone would help a bit but not all the way since she’d only just begun learning to read the stars. Her dad had meant to teach her more but…the pain settled in her chest again as the traitorous thought traveled through her mind. 

Don’t think about it lass. He doesn’t even deserve to have you think about him. 

She didn’t have a map, compass, star chart, anything. If she wanted any chance of getting home, she’d need all three so she needed to find them before she left…and she knew where she could get them. 

One thing she knew about Stede…

Her eyes wandered to the sash and shawl hung over the chair, her hands tightened at the thought of that day at the bazaar again. It had all been lies. Everything they’d said to her, done for her…she shook her head. As much as she hated Stede for leaving, she also knew his tendency to go over the top would help her in this instance. The Kraken hadn’t gotten rid of the desk and she knew the drawers were packed to the brim with charts and maps. All she’d need to do was sneak in and…oh shit. 

The Kraken was still in there and he wasn’t going to leave any time soon. 

She slipped out of her cabin and down the hall, pressing her ear against the door. 

SNORK!

She jerked back as a loud snore hit her ears. Really she shouldn’t have been surprised. When he wasn’t making life utter hell for the meager crew, The Kraken was holed up in the captain's quarters, either passed out or drinking any bottle of booze he could get his hands on. 

She rolled her eyes and opened the door as quietly as she could. Sure enough, Blackbeard was passed out on the floor, holding an empty bottle of rum like a teddy bear. Too many emotions flashed in her head and she didn’t have the stamina to deal with them so she simply shook her head and crept to the desk. What luck that there was indeed a map out in the open. She grinned as she quietly started rummaging through the drawers. She quickly found a compass but she couldn’t find a single star chart. 

“Mmmmmph…”

Oh fuck. 

Isa froze as The Kraken grunted himself awake and looked right at her. 

“Er…hey?” She tried. 

“Thought you were mad at me.” He snorted, still a bit of a slur to his voice. 

“W-well, er, I’ve had a few days to think and I-I’ve cooled off a little.” She lied right through her teeth. 

Blackbeard sat up a little further. “You’re a shit liar.” He replied with a roll of his eyes. 

“Okay fine. I’m still mad at you.” She agreed, body stiff like someone walking on a frozen lake. “But I also know there’s nothing I can do to get them back.”

For a moment there was a glimmer of something in his eyes. A little leftover spark of a man who knew what happiness was. It was small but she could see it clear as day that a small bit of her dad was still there. 

But it was just a joke, a mockery. Her dad was gone forever and no amount of hoping or praying was going to do a damn thing about it. 

“What are you doing in here?” Blackbeard grunted as he stood on shaking legs. 

“I uh…” shit shit shit! Don’t draw a blank! He was staring daggers at her, particularly the map in her hands. “Nav-navigation!” She burst. “I-I need to work on my navigation skills. Fang said he’d help me if I found a map.”

“So you decided to steal one from the captain?” He challenged. 

“I didn’t have one and you have so many I…I…” her lie sounded so stupid that it died on her tongue before it was even half said. Oh who was she kidding he could see right through her. Might as well just head back to the brig now because-

“Need a star chart too?” He droned. 

Wait what? Just like that? There was no way he bought it! Normally she was an okay liar but even when Ed had still been recognizable as her dad, he could see right through her and she was certain that hadn’t changed. And he was just letting her go? This was a trap, it had to be a trap. 

“Are…you sure?” She searched his face but there was utterly nothing to find. The only thing that she could see clearly was a look of utter defeat and resignation. The look of someone who had been beaten down by life. They knew that there was no mercy in store for them and if they kept trying it would only get worse so it was easier to just give up. Let life pound them to dust. 

He didn’t care. He didn’t give two tenths of a shit anymore.

“Yeah. I…I need a star chart.” She murmured, her voice soft, in utter disbelief. 

“Some on the shelf.” He muttered. Her eyes followed his pointed finger to the shelf and took one of the worn out papers, rolling it into a tube. 

“So…that’s all I needed.”

“Mmmmhmm.” He lay back down on the floor. As she reached for the knob in the door, Isa heard him once more, whispering in a quiet, broken voice. “Goodbye Isabella.”

She froze, her eyes going wide at the realization. 

He knew where she was going…he knew she wasn’t coming back. 

And he wasn’t going to try and stop her. 

Far too many emotions ignited inside Isabella; pity, anger, worry, but mostly confusion. Did he not want her around again? No it didn’t seem to stem from her. She looked back at him, already passed out again. A heavy sadness pulled at her gut as she looked at the empty shell of the man that used to be her dad. For all she knew, her dad really was dead and The Kraken was there to stay. She did her best to convince herself that she didn’t care but a little drop of poisoned sadness slipped into her chest as she gave him one last look and closed the door behind her. 

She had to wait until it was dark to make her escape. The crew was now pitifully small so nobody was on the deck. They’d only carried over a few of the crew from the Queen Anne and the work that needed to be done far outweighed the number of people on the crew. Since Fang and Ivan were the second mates, it meant that they were taking the brunt of the word and probably wouldn’t get to sleep until stupid o’clock in the morning. 

Her heart ached at the thought of her uncles. They’d both been so kind and warm to her and now she was never going to see them again. 

At first she’d been tempted to ask them to come with her but she wasn’t sure where their loyalties were. She knew that Jizzy and The Kraken pushed loyalty to the captain over anything so the risk of them telling either the captain or first mate was too high. For all she knew, they’d toss her back into the brig as soon as they heard her plan and then she’d never get to leave. 

It hurt but it was safer to go alone. That was just life wasn’t it?

She poked her head from out behind the captains door and found the deck empty except for one of the carried over QA crew at the helm, someone she’d met only briefly and likely didn’t even remember her name, and she didn’t remember his either. She steeled herself and slipped out the door, darting over to the lifeboats. A quick look back at the helm confirmed that the crewman’s eyes were still on the horizon. Good. 

Silent as she could, she tossed her sack of food and the few belongings that were important to her into the nearest dinghy, tugging the ropes until it was in position for launch. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” An angry voice barked. Isa whirled around to see a very pissed off izzy leaning against the side of the ship. A brief glint of brass reflecting in the moonlight caught Isas eye before disappearing into Izzy’s pocket once again. 

She furrowed her brow and narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s it to you?”

“Because it’s my job to serve my captain and keep my crew in line.” He snorted. “And to me this looks like a desertion.”

“So what if it is?!” She fumed. “I can’t stay here one minute longer!”

“Leaving behind your own father?”

“That isn’t my dad anymore!” She exploded. “My dad is gone, my friends are all gone and it’s all your fault!” For the first time since meeting him, Israel Hands was speechless. Normally she would have kept herself under control but she had been sitting on her rage for far too long. “I have no one now. I’m an orphan again because you were too damn selfish to leave well enough alone! You robbed a man of his sanity and a girl of her father, of her entire family, because you wanted the bloodthirsty Blackbeard all to yourself! Was it fucking worth it?! Well congratulations. You got what you wanted. He’s all yours.” The fire in her brain was raging, burning anything in its path and there was no way she could stop it. The nerves behind her eyes were pinching again and she could feel tears pooling in the corners. Don’t fucking cry!  “But I hope you know he’s never going to love you. Even if he was capable of love anymore, he wouldn’t have any for you Israel Hands! You’re nothing but a slug that can’t stand when people aren’t as miserable as you! You’ll keep destroying everything good in this world until there’s nothing left and one day you’re going to look at yourself and realize you’re utterly undeserving and incapable of loving anyone!” By now she was screaming, likely waking everyone in the ship but she didn’t care. The only thing that mattered to her in that moment was telling that vile man exactly what she thought of him. “I hate you, Izzy Hands! I hate you more than I could possibly ever say and I hope you rot in hell!” She spat at his feet, the glob of saliva landing smack between his boots. 

The look on Izzy’s face was utterly indescribable. 

There was anger of course, as she expected, but more than anger, there was pain. A long existing agony rooted in a place that was far too deep to be reached and had been festering for far too long. 

What had…

A queasy twist pulled at her stomach. 

No. She didn’t care. She wasn’t going to waste her energy feeling sorry for him. 

She shoved the feeling away, and continued to rig up the dinghy in silence. 

The familiar burn of eyes watching her stung at her back, no doubt she’d gotten the helmsman’s attention with that little speech. Hell Fang and Ivan probably heard in the galley, along with everyone else in the ship. For all she knew, she’d woken up the kraken as well and he was standing there watching her too. But she wasn’t going to turn around. Don’t look at them. Don’t look!

She let out a slow breath and took another slow one in, continuing like this until she’d finished rigging the dinghy. The deck was still and silent as she climbed into the boat and grabbed the rope. Before she could lower herself into the water, the silence was broken by two small words. 

“Be safe.”

She turned to look at Izzy, the twist returning to her stomach. 

A thousand different snarky responses flickered into her mind at this; “Don’t pretend you care about me” “Too little too late to be worried about my safety” “Yeah you be safe too with that monster you created”

Any of them would have worked but the sight of the strange layered look once again slipped into her mind and chased away whatever reply she wanted to give him. After a very long silence, she dropped her eyes, looking at the waves below her before looking him square in the face once more. 

“Goodbye Hands.” She replied. Her voice was flat, not a bit of aggression but cold as the bottom of the sea. 

Then without giving herself a chance to let her doubts get the better of her, she tugged at the rope, lowering herself into the water. A bitter ache settled in her chest as she laid her hand against the aged wood of the ship she’d called home for the last two months. Dammit don’t cry! She shook her head and took one final look as she started rowing, watching the Revenge grow smaller and smaller in the distance before disappearing over the horizon.