Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's been a long time. 

Way too long, if you ask Sasuke. He knew, right from the start, that noone is going to understand his decision - noone ever could. And he was fine with redeeming himself now, that he’s done what he intended because it was all worth it, in the end. He got more than he bargained for, but it is what it is. And when it’s all done, and he can safely say he’s settled, ready to be the man he always wanted to be, it’s time to try and see if what’s been broken can indeed be fixed.

Looking behind himself to see the woods and shadows and lands that are no other from these right ahead of him; just the border is close. A border separating him from… well, home. 

Yes, his plan now does seem clear and easy and pretty concrete, but it was a long way for him to get here. To understand what he longs for, what he needs. It was nearly two years before he realized he belongs with his village, and nearly two more than one aspect of the village is what home means to him. 

-Yesss,- the Snake in Sasuke’s mind hisses. -Yesss indeed. I knew about your ssssecret all along.-

Everyone did, really, in a way. Sasuke would like to think he was cold as a stone and that noone could tell he’s barely holding it up, but it’s not the truth at all. Kakashi probably knew more than others, but he was by far the only one. And who didn't know while he was still shinobi of Leaf, understood later in their life, when they matured, grew up, or had a bit of an overview about the situation. 

It can barely be a secret. A blind man could tell, but Sasuke be damned if he’s lying now - he swears that at that time, he had no idea. It was just something he couldn't really put a finger on, but something so strong it was impossible to ignore. 

(I mean, the object of Sasuke’s thoughts never lets his opponent ignore him, anyway.) 

So yes, he might be annoyed, but he also… settled. He realized all of its meaning, he knows what it is, after such a long time being alone, he knows it is what it is, and he might ignore it as much as he wants and pretend it’s not there, despite his heart always jumping a bit when he thinks about him, and his lips might not give off the slight curve of the gentlest smirk he can muster, but that doesn't change anything in Sasuke’s emotions, no matter how everyone say he’s not capable of any. 

But as said before - this didn't happen overnight. It was a melodrama in complete silence, years of hate, and rage, and hate again. He felt beaten up by himself, frustrated most of the time, but he had to, in the end, accept it for what it is. Nearly four years spent in wet holes, hiding, meditating, learning, training, studying, fighting - in complete isolation. 

-I’ve been offering my ssspecial company to you many timesss.- 

He always thought that’s exactly what he needs - solitude, being on his own, figuring things out for himself, counting only on himself… that this is what kind of person he is. He’s learned the hard way that things are rarely as black and white as his teachers and his family - especially his brother - wanted him to think. 

Sasuke’s not gonna lie, he was about to rage and demolish half of the village, but the Snake is right in one thing: before you do anything, make sure you are not being used. And yes, he’s aware now that everyone wants to use him. Everyone. Sandaime as a reminder for Itachi, Danzo as a potential puppet, his parents as a tool to continue his bloodline, his brother for his own death, Tsunade for information, Kakashi for his own loneliness, Orochimaru for his eyes and fire technique, senseis as an example and pride, all the girls as sex object.

Noone listened to him. Noone, but… 

Everyone wanted to use him. Everyone but… 

-I thhhink he’sss the only one you wanted to ussse.-

Sasuke won't reach his lowest point by blushing at such profanity. 

-At leassst you intent to recccycle.-

The slight blush that covered his cheeks can be easily hidden by the cold, his headache and chakra loss he suffers from sleep deprivation, depression, nearly fatal fight and the heavy prisoner seal he was forced to use. 

He lets his mind wander, and he’d really want to let his legs do the same, but they lead him where he belongs on their own. Sasuke is actually embarrassed how much he misses it. He’s been gone for so long, and he thought he hated this place. But whenever he thinks about home, his home, the small, hidden smile is always there, and an uncertain idea of blond hair, blue eyes and unironical, happy grin. 

It’s so obvious now. But it wasn't, at the beginning. He actually thought, right when he ran away, that when he comes back, he comes to revenge, to kill, to destroy. But that won't happen. How could he ever destroy anything, when he wasn't even able to destroy himself?! 

He has to agree with his brother here: mistakes are what makes us humans, but also makes us who we are. And life isn't to be lived, it’s to suffer to make sure you’ll remember it forever, because you won't ever have the chance to live the same life again. 

He crosses the Land of Fire borders, and yes, he doesn't really travel undercover, but he’s still surprised to sense an entire ANBU unit.

“Uchiha.” 

“Irbis.” 

“You carry an uninvited enemy.” 

“The enemy possesses no power, he’s merely an informant.” 

-That’sss a rude thhhing to sssay.-

“The Hokage didn't inform us about anyth-!” 

“If you wish to stop me,” Sasuke jumps into his speech, “you may,” he doesn't stop walking, getting slightly past the guards. “But remember, it’s an Uchiha you are trying to stop.” 

When he was younger and didn't know what his family name means, he used it with great pride at all times, thinking there’s strength in it - everyone said it was. In reality, there’s nothing more than disgust. He knows the name means something to everyone around him, but not to him. Not any more. 

Irbis steps away after a while of consideration, but insists: “I have to report back.” 

Sasuke nods as if giving permission and pulls his robes closer to his body to cover the markings of his seal. Irbis can probably sense something is up, but Sasuke doesn't like to share - a secret prison seal isn't a forbidden jutsu per se, but due to the situation, Sasuke had to improvise. 

Despite his supervisor’s not being happy about his decision, he is quite proud of himself - he’s done a sufficient job.

Sasuke keeps walking without much care for the unit, so Irbis understands this conversation is over and calls off the team with a simple gesture; this intruder might be a threat, but not to the village. Weird, Irbis concludes. He can feel the longing he has for his home, but there wasn't any place or a family in his mind at all. There was only a faint orange aura and a warm feeling of a confident grin in his mind. 

-He knowsss you for three sssecondsss, and already ssseesss through your bullsssshit.-

An eye roll would be degrading for the Uchiha, so he just continues his journey. He hasn't been in the country for many years, and in these woods he’s never been before, but he knows by heart which way to take. 

Chapter Text

His journey was one of a kind, and he went through another series of severe trauma - albeit this one he brought upon himself on his own. Solitude was his garden of Eden, at least that's what he thought. He found balance and peace there, his strength, wisdom, and knowledge.

But after quite some time, he realized he was never in complete solitude. Not by far. There was always his annoying teammates and the weird teacher. There was a village of people, there was a market. There were cats. He remembered, when he was completely alone - upon his direct wish - how often he took the long way home just to walk through the village. Sometimes early in the morning or late at night, when there weren't as many people, but that was his aim. And how many times he ate hidden in the trees or somewhere, listening to people, seeing them from afar, just never speaking to them. That was enough for him, that was what he sought in the first place. 

But there, meditating for a week straight in Orochimaru’s hideout? There was noone around, nothing alive, since everyone and everything fell victim to Kabuto’s experiments. 

Three months into the isolation, he started to feel the physical aspects of the loneliness he locked himself in - headache, jumpiness, loss of time, vocabulary loss, insomnia, frustration, losing control, losing focus, hypersexuality, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, blackouts, but also terrible nightmares. Those were the worst aspect of his self-prescribed solitude.

Nigh terrors of the fight Valley of the End where instead of withdrawing, Sasuke goes too far and kills Naruto. He wakes up with full-blown panic attack, losing the ability to detect what’s reality and what’s dream or hallucination all due to the solitude - the solitude he so desperately wanted to want.  

He tried to ignore it, but just like every problem of the past you try to avoid, you eventually meet it in the middle on your way. It is what it is, and after three more months he had to admit that yes indeed; He missed the blond.

Six months into his solitude, he was already losing his mind. And four more months before he was ready to face the reality of his - as well as Itachi’s - past and presence. He never believed, for some reason, he would grow old. Yes, all the “restore my clan” was what Sandaime told him to do, what to focus on right after the massacre - of course the old man wanted a Sharingan in the village, of course he wanted Sasuke to pass his genes, but after meeting his brother, be believes in a few weeks, there will be no Sharingan bearer alive. 

Well, he hopes there won't be any, that is. 

Twelve months in, Kabuto brought into the hiding a small boy, about five years old. Sasuke didn't want to get involved at first, thinking this is none of his business and if he intervenes, it won't end well. He was right, but that's beyond the point. The boy was shy, timid but curious, reminding Sasuke of his own self at that age, and he’d love to think that’s why he got personal. At least, that’s what he told himself, at the beginning. Fourteen months in, when the child was tortured to death and killed, Sasuke set a new inner policy: never lying to himself, ever again. He befriended the boy because he was losing his mind in his loneliness.

He breathes in the land he decided to call home, closes his eyes and lets his senses remember what he cannot see anyway; the air brings instant memories into his mind. Now that the dangerous part of his journey is over, he doesn't have to hurry. The Irbis won't let Sasuke out of his range out of fear he’d lose the enemy that was brought into this country- but there’s no reason to worry. Sasuke can't release the prisoner seal - which is a part of the problem, actually. 

He stops by the river, intending to have a swim there. He was always told by all Uchihas - and some others as well - that fire and water don't mix, but he found an undeniable pleasure in letting his body relax, giving up all the control he usually has about his body, letting himself flow as the stream wishes, as nature decides. It’s a somewhat carnal feeling he can't explain, he doesn't understand why he finds joy in giving up control - he never considered it in any other part of his life, so why here? Was it the colour, reminding Sasuke of those ocean blue eyes? Is it because swimming is what he loves the most? 

He did not know.

Sasuke nearly forgot how warm the Land of Fire is, how alive it is, how many wild animals live there and make multiple noises. All the hideouts in the Land of Sound are actually soundless. All that was alive fled, because it could sense the evil that was hidden in the dark, wet, holes. 

The sun is high up and Sasuke’s alone. 

Twenty months in, he felt dead inside. He lost his purpose, lost his life, lost his past as well as his future. That’s when he met Itachi again. And in half a year again. The weird thing about it was that if Orochimaru knew, he never said anything about it. Truth be told, he never really cared for the village, he cared about his weird shit he called science - 

-That’sssss ssssincccere, but sssstill a rude thhhhing to ssssay.-

- but he never really cared for Sasuke’s future. Yes, he probably planned to kill him or take his eyes, but while Sasuke was aware of Orochimaru’s weak spots, Orochimaru obviously either didn't care, or didn't believe Sasuke had it in him to destroy him. 

There’s a pause in Sasuke’s thoughts to give Orochimaru, sealed in his own mind, a second to react as he tends to, but this time there’s silence. The young Uchiha lets the Snake have his secrets and gets out of the stream. When he’s having a light dinner and prepares to sleep right there under the sky, he thinks about what he is going to do when he gets back. What’s the reaction going to be like? 

Is he going to be squeezed to death by an orange tornado? Is he going to be ignored? Did he miss Sasuke, does he hate him, is he excited to have him back? 

Tsunade in her last report didn't mention if she told anyone Sasuke’s coming back to the village, and Sasuke didn't tell her he won't be coming alone, and now that he looks at it, it’s probably fair. 

Fourteen months in, he caught up on Orochimaru’s mentions of Itachi, and about him not being the nuke-nin and murderer everyone takes him for. 

Sixteen months in, Sasuke found and fought Itachi, defeated him, and refused to kill him. Itahci broke down, and started to tell his long, lonely, desperate, humiliating, suffering story. 

Twenty months in, Sasuke was strong and dangerous enough to challenge even Orochimaru. Around that time, Sasuke realized what exactly he felt for Naruto Uzumaki.

Chapter Text

Thirty months in, he made up his mind. He was seeing Itachi often by then. His brother seeking him then felt like a terrible fall through, but now it’s obvious Sasuke needed Itachi's attention not to end up worse than him. Of course Itachi offered to help with the Snake, as well as he knew it’s purely Sasuke’s fight - the younger also knew Itachi wished to lick his wounds afterwards, seeking the same as him: validation, company, and intimacy. 

But Itachi was so much different from his brother in most things, especially in personal matters. Itachi was shy, and after all that happened, Sasuke required answers before he was ready to provide anything for his older brother. 

“ You said,” Sasuke spoke up after many hours of silence one evening, “That you were torn between village and clan.” 

It wasn't a question, and therefore Itachi didn't feel any need to answer. 

“ But you decided to betray them both.” 

There’s still no question asked, and Itachi knows when to be silent. He was told that’s his best quality. 

“ You killed your clan, and you decided to join a bunch of psychopaths to destroy the village, and probably the world as we know it.” 

Still… no question. 

“ Say something,” Sasuke challenges after another half an hour of silence. 

“ Clan isn't family. And Elders aren't the village.” 

Sasuke expected something like this, he knew there was something wrong, something challenging in people he grew up with. “Your parents aren't family?” 

“ Parents are people who protect their children. Not people who destroy children and heirs for their own gain and greed.” 

“ Heirs?” Sasuke asks after a while, when Itachi’s calm answer settles. “They wanted to…?”

Itachi looks up with his nearly blind eyes. “Kill each heir, all the children of big kekkei genkai clans. Nara, Hyuuga, Namikaze, Sarutobi, Aburame, Inuzuka, Yamanaka, and well, you.” 

Sasuke didn't know. He had no idea he would - 

“ You were born only to compete with me,” Itachi explains calmly. “When you were six, it was decided that you are a failure in the main bloodline, and that at the age of six with your powers there’s no way you could ever be better than I. Our father was ready to practise sharingan revealing seal on you. That’s the purpose of the Uchiha bloodline. That’s the reason…” Itachi isn't known to lose his control, and he certainly isn't known to let his emotions in his speech. He breathes in and continues in an even, soft, calm voice. “According to the Uchiha elders, you were useless, and the only thing you could ever provide for your clan…” 

“ My eyes,” Sasuke whispers. “They wanted to kill me, take my eyes and activate your Mangekyou like this.”

He isn't shocked, or disgusted. He isn't even disappointed, and the never ending hate, blame, fear and rage didn't change, at the bottom of his soul. 

“ I was just a tool to them too,” he then says. “I was the family you decided to ally with, and Konoha children were those you decided to protect.” 

“ And fight for,” Itachi adds. 

“ By joining Akatsuki,” Sasuke calmly reminds him, but there is a hidden question. 

Itachi understands now that Sasuke doesn't ask questions due to his traumatized childhood. “Why do you think they aren't a threat yet?” 

Sasuke had his suspicions about that as well, but he decided he won't just assume any more. “I think there’s something worse than our grand uncle, and that’s what you spy on by joining them.” 

“ The… thing,” Itachi chooses to describe Madara, “is actually about four generations older than us, but generally, yes.” 

“ What is it?” 

“ Well asked question,” Itachi notes, “so you know about… him.” 

“ I don't think someone like Orochimaru would be scared of just anyone - or anything, for that matter.” 

“ Scared?” Itachi repeats after a while. 

Sasuke slowly nods, as if understanding it just now - scared, yes. He wasn't uneasy, or covering his back, or avoiding him, or choosing to silently ally with him because it’s safer, better, studying him from afar, no. He was downright scared of him. “Terrified, actually.” 

After Naruto killed Pein/Nagato, there was an empty position of a public leader. Itachi, as one of the oldest and most trusted members of said group, was asked by Madara himself to take the place. Itachi of course didn't accept it out of two reasons while he hoped Madara knew only about one of them, but he also knew not to underestimate his enemy. Itachi’s time on this planet was limited, and the end was near - and this time he didn't think his illness was to blame. 

“ Well, the snake always knew how to choose his enemy,” Itachi concludes. 

Sasuke smirks - he wasn't as sure. 

“ He didn't pick you as an enemy, Sasuke, think about that - he selected you as his experiment at first, but your qualities overcame his expectations, so eventually he started to court you as an ally, just like he does Kabuto. See, he let you know the truth about Danzo, about Sarutobi, about Naruto and the Uzumaki clan, but also about me. That isn't something you provide an enemy with.” 

Agreeing, Sasuke doesn't say anything. It’s dangerous to speak here about anything you want to keep a secret. “I know you don't agree with it. But I had no other choice to-”

“ No, Sasuke, no,” Itachi calms him. “I know why. I kind of pushed you, all those years back, too. I’m not judging you.” 

Sasuke watches the skies go darker. The fire he set is low, burning mostly to keep him company than to provide warmth or light - Sasuke, with his Mangekyou, could see now even if he was blind. He closes his eyes and focuses his chakra on his surroundings - water, air, ground. All the elements his clan thought of as weak. It calms him, brings him strength, balance, and peace. 

Chapter Text

Thirty-four months in, Sasuke and Itachi knew each other's lives well enough. 

---

“ I didn't open my sharingan till I was twelve.” 

The hidden question is a trademark now with the youngest Uchiha. 

“ For that, I was a failure.” 

Sasuke has a gift for this. He always finds the right, the hidden truth his opponents didn't want him to see. Especially his brother. 

“ When you were five, your sharingan activated. I was the only one to witness it, and because I knew the clan, I…” 

“ You subdued it by force,” Sasuke supplies. 

“ By… it’s a… well, it’s a forbidden technique, yes, but it’s not violent. You didn't feel any pain,” Itachi adds, as if to apologize - but in his eyes, there’s nothing to apologize for. 

“ It was your fault I was treated like a failure by our father then,” Sasuke understands. No emotion, no rage. He figured why his brother did it, but he still needed to hear it from him. 

“ Your first Sharingan ties you the strongest to the One.” 

Sasuke slows his thinking process to make sure Itachi implies what he thinks he implied. 

“ I didn't want you to be tied to me,” Itachi explains. “I needed you to be tied to someone who deserves your love.” 

Sasuke looks deep into his brother’s red eyes, as if judging him, but his brother gently smiles: “It was Naruto for you, wasn't it? The first time you felt that power in you. Desperate, tired, out of power, chakra, choices, ideas. It was just like this, wasn't it?” 

“ We were… it was a D-rank gone wrong, and an S-class nukenin surprised our team. Naruto was… I think, now that I look at it, he was the only one who cracked the way to the opponent, but also to… well, to me.” 

Itachi looks up, the timid smile on his lips. There’s silence, and Sasuke can feel Itachi imagining the situation. To be honest, he himself comes back to the memory often enough to be ashamed of it. 

“ It doesn't necessarily mean a romantic tie,” Itachi clears after a while. “Our father had his ties with his brother. His brother died for him, just like brothers usually do in the clan.” 

“ I remember him cold,” Sasuke wonders. 

“ He wasn't cold. You and I are cold. Tsunade is cold. Kakashi is cold. No, Sasuke, our father wasn't cold. Our father was a psychopath. Just like Madara is.” 

Sasuke doesn't remember much from his childhood. He doesn't remember much of his parents or other family members, he doesn't remember school, friends, training - he only remembers his brother. “You aren't cold.” 

And there it is, the smile on Itachi’s flawless face. Warm, beautiful, real. 

“ You didn't want me to be your bond, because you wanted me to kill you. And you didn't want it to be even more painful for me. That’s why you scared me with Mangekyou,” Sasuke explains out loud. Itachi’s smile falters, before his face looks serious again. “And you kept the Akatsuki away for as long as you hoped Orochimaru and Akatsuki and Danzo would eventually turn against each other.” 

Itachi slowly nods - this wasn't easy to maintain under a close inspection from all three mentioned, but he tried, and noone suspected a thing yet, but then there is his brother who has him all figured. In the end, Itachi smiles at his sibling and tells him: “I’m so proud of you.” 

Sasuke turns his head to the side, looking surprised, and then, seeing his brother is serious, his cheeks go a bit pink. “It wasn't hard to guess, with what you told me.” 

“ Ah, I’m not… it’s not just that, Sasuke. It’s… it’s this,” he reaches out and gently touches Sasuke’s shoulder. “You aren't… mad. You don't rage, and you don't revenge. You take your time, and you think about it.” 

Sasuke wants to take offence in this, but he knows it’s the truth. When he was young, he only saw red - he attacked before he thought, just like Naruto - but Naruto happened to do so for all the right reasons, with the right motivation; Sasuke had it all wrong, at the beginning. 

“ It wasn't your fault, Sasuke,” Itachi reminds him, as if he knew what his sibling thinks about. 

Uchiha curse, the mark, revenge, peer pressure, clan politics, sharingan importance - yes, all those things Naruto didn't have to deal with, his genes providing with Senju and Uzumaki chakra anchors that were positive, light, beaming; and Sasuke was left with Uchiha rage, and fear of losing, and frustration, and anger. 

“ The clan decided just because you didn't possess sharingan by the age of five, you were a failure. They decided to kill you and give me your eyes, and expected me to live with it, fight for them, blindly trust them. Say, Sasuke, would you let it happen to your brother?” 

There’s a second of silence, where Sasuke snickers and Itachi lowers his head: “Not me. A brother who’d… let’s say Naruto.” 

Sasuke doesn't even think when he says a quick and slightly irritated: “You’ve got no idea what I’ve done to Naruto.” 

Now that is the time for Itachi to gently smile and remind his brother: “I know exactly what you’ve done to him, little brother.” 

The youngest Uchiha looks up to meet his brother’s calm, red eyes with his own. “You scarred and left him, Sasuke,” Itachi tells him with complete honesty in his eyes, “like a sunburn.” 

And it was, in the end, the exact same thing Itachi’s done to Sasuke. 

“ We are…” his voice doesn't break, but it trembles. He shuts up and takes a second to start again, “that’s different.” 

Silence. 

“ Are you saying,” Itachi speaks, clear of any emotions, “You forgive me?” 

Sasuke was silent for many hours, then. But in the end, it is what it is. “You said, a few months back, that… I don't deserve to live in solitude, hated for what was needed to be done, anyway. Do you remember?”

Yes, of course Itachi remembers. 

“ It’s all the same, then. You don't deserve it, either.” 

Chapter Text

Sasuke looks at the seal his brother made for him, just in case all of his dreams come true and he and Sasuke will become the brothers he always wished upon the stars. It's a fire jutsu that lets them see with the eyes of the other, so they never have to murder any other Uchiha member. It was a gift Sasuke received about thirty-seven months into his solitude, a few days after his birthday. 

“ I didn't… want to give it to you at all,” Itachi admitted, all shy and coy, but proud, after he explained the seal’s purpose. “It’s not like you can use much of my eyes now, but when I created it, I was at my prime, and I didn't want to…” Itachi lowered his face, obviously embarrassed, but what he wanted to say was obviously important for him, so Sasuke waited with his thanks for after that. “Nowadays, I mean it as a… as a gift for your children.” 

Sasuke looks at the seal, and then up at his brother: “And yours?” 

Itachi’s smile is tired, but genuine. “I decided a long time ago I won't provide an heir.” 

Sasuke had his suspicions about this too, but before his brother’s word, all he has is theories. “Why?” 

“ I… the only person I’ve ever loved…” 

Yes, of course, Sasuke realizes. Uchihas only ever love once. Itachi went through a war, he probably lost them. 

“ Well, I don't see any chance to ever become what we used to be, once.” 

Now that is surprising. Sasuke raises his eyebrow, but before he speaks, he realizes Itachi didn't necessarily mention the gender of his loved one. That’s why Sasuke asks the way he does: “They... are still alive, then?” 

Itachi glances quickly at his younger brother, and they both know Itachi isn't talking about any woman, no matter the pronoun he sticks to. “Yes, they… they are.” 

“ Are they… Konoha citizen?” Sasuke guesses. 

“ They… never really were, I think. At least not by the time we were… close. But eventually I think… maybe after they understood what happened, with their father and all… maybe, yes, they happened to change their mind. The will of fire isn't a myth nor a lie, Sasuke.” 

“ Who… is it, Itachi?” Sasuke asks a direct question that is hard to dodge. He always did, since he was a child. 

Sasuke’s mind flies at the speed of light, all the memories he has, all the thoughts coming up to one, changing his perspective, his view. It’s such a fleeting thought, Sasuke isn't even sure the thought had touched him at all. 

“ You know exactly who it is, little brother.” 

Sasuke woke up slowly, his mind clearing of fog caused by another passing nightmare. He became immune to them, in a way. He can say what’s real and what isn't with his Mangekyou, but lately he kept choosing to stay in the nightmare, trying to solve a task at hand during it. He tried to change his decisions about leaving the village, hurting everyone, disappointing everyone, but he always woke up to the solutions he provided all the time back - he always ended up selecting the way he did in real life, all those months and years back. 

Not knowing what’s given and where is the choice we were approved to decide about our own fate, it wasn't easy to judge whether his journey was the one he was supposed to take, but he didn't necessarily think he'd made a mistake. 

It is what it is, Itachi always said. 

(Sasuke didn't think he was wrong.) 

He watches the water, skies, his surroundings. It’s morning, and he’s ready to travel south. He activates the seal Itachi gifted him to see with his brother’s eyes - he sees desert, and sand, and snow; his brother isn't alone, and he was sent on a mission above the five elemental nations. However, this seems like a grand gesture Madara gave him as the most trusted member of their group, it was actually quite the opposite - Zetsu wants Itachi out of sight, and Madara has no idea he is being played, but Zetsu forgot one important thing - you can't fool a Mangekyou. 

Not when Mangekyou wasn't achieved by a murder. 

----

“ Does Orochimaru know you activated Mangekyou?” Itachi asked one day. 

“ I’ve never confirmed it or used it in front of him. But he is a Snake.” 

“ When he tells you the secret of his eternal youth technique, your partnership is over, and he’s actively looking for ways to destroy you.” 

Sasuke nodded. He knew forty-five months into his isolation he had to go back home, and judging by the colour of Itachi’s skin and the random eye bleeding, that time was coming soon. 

—--

Sasuke walked through the forest and as much as he never wanted to reach his destination, he felt as if the journey was never ending.

-Ssso it wasss your ssssssibling who told you how to dessstroy me.- 

Thinking about his brother felt nice, calming, grounding - that’s not something he’d considered thirty months ago. It felt as if something was complete now, something went right in his life. He achieved something good he could and should be proud of. And that always felt enjoyable, it feels as if this part of his life - a big one, mind you - was solved. 

Thinking about Naruto gave him the opposite feelings of unresolved tension, and anxiety, and fear, and animalistic rage Sasuke didn't know how to deal with. The embarrassment and second-hand embarrassment was a huge problem when it came to the blond, mostly because Naruto was… well. Naruto. 

He was loud, and physical, and annoying, and physical, and in everyone’s faces, and physical, and stupid, and for fuck’s sake, so physical… ! He didn't have a conversation without touching Sasuke, bumping his shoulder or arm, gently touching him when talking to him, sometimes reaching and touching Sasuke’s hair because he just fucking wanted to, sometimes he forced Sasuke to hold hands when they were sleeping in the same tent, and sometimes Naruto cuddled closer to Sasuke for warmth or safety. 

It was… it wasn't something Sasuke was ready for, and that was also the reason Naruto was way too often confused as to why Sasuke yelling at him for no reason. He eventually understood Sasuke yells at him during training or a mission when he did something wrong, but why does he yell at him for laughing and touching Sasuke’s side when telling him a dirty joke or some juicy rumour he just heard? That didn't make any sense! 

- Humanssss in love never make any ssssenssssse.-

And Sasuke can only look back at those memories and be half amused, and half sad. He’s also pissed at himself, because he just went through so many months without anyone keeping him company (sans his brother sometimes, and sometimes the annoying duo of Kabuto and Orochimaru, but even those two quickly understood Sasuke now, at the age of seventeen, was actually life-threatening opponent, and it was easier to do as he wishes than to go against him) and he just wanted to yell at his younger self: don't you see what kind of miracle you have right in front of you?! 

Chapter Text

Sasuke was damaged, traumatized, hiding from everyone - and he happened to somehow find a friend who was able not only to bear his terrible behaviour and still keep around, but not changing his behaviour at all. He still touched Sasuke anytime he wanted - mostly as a by-product of what kind of person Naruto is, just adding gestures and touches and all those small things into everyday conversation because that’s basically what Naruto is like. And Sasuke could have it all - he didn't even have to try hard, he didn't have to do a thing and Naruto provided all the cuddles for him, all the human contact he’d die without, and Sasuke still managed to be a complete asshole and yell at him for it. 

Because now, those years in solitude all he ever thought about, all that got him through this period of life, was every single touch Naruto ever spared him, he analysed to its detail, to the core. Every gesture Naruto did, every small thing he's ever done, every kind of smile or laugh, all touches, all cuddles, all the hand holding. 

Everything he’s ever said. 

Sasuke ran away from Naruto only to find himself in a giant black hole filled up with nothing but the thoughts and memories and dreams of him, of every single detail of him. The youngest Uchiha felt like a fool, but there’s the famous saying about never knowing what you’ve got till you lose it. 

-Ssssayingssss are sssstupid.-

It’s so frustrating, and sad and funny at the same time Sasuke found himself crying his frustration out over it, raging and destroying, as well as hiding and not admitting anything to himself. 

He swore he didn't know . 

When he was leaving the village, he didn't know what he's really leaving behind, but when he did realize, it took him by a storm. Especially when he realized that the signs were right there - he can't lie about it, can't deny it, and he couldn't - even back then he knew Naruto is special to him. 

Naruto was having trouble falling asleep, and while Sasuke seemed to have the same problem, he remained unmoving with his eyes closed. Of course, Naruto could see right through that, and even if he was kinda aware Sasuke didn't really like touches, he still reached out and squeezed his fingers. Sasuke wanted to pretend he’s asleep, but his heartbeat was rising, and his breath wasn't as shallow as he wanted it to be. 

“ Why are you waking me up, idiot?” 

“ You were not asleep, asshole.”

Fair enough. “That doesn't mean I approve,” Sasuke barely moves his fingers in Naruto’s. 

“ You know well enough how to free yourself, if you want to,” Naruto shrugged and that was one of the moments Sasuke was downright fucked . When Naruto was being like this, all logical and putting actual power of decision on his teammate, Sasuke couldn't react with despect, or a sarcasm. If the idiot wasn't running around challenging Sasuke for a rematch, or about how much better of a ninja he’ll become, Sasuke didn't know what and how to respond. 

Naruto left the decision on Sasuke, and Sasuke always hated decisions for the sole purpose of choosing wrong, but this wasn't it. He knew what he wanted, and he knew what Naruto wanted - to hold hands. Naruto didn't yell about it, he just… told Sasuke to let go, if he is so unnerved by it. Obviously, Sasuke didn't want to let go. Which left him confused, frustrated, and also… blushing.

So he was left with this, really. He just stayed still, holding hands with Naruto - and then he fell asleep. (And if he woke up at night and found them being parted, Naruto slightly snoring, and rearranged Naruto’s fingers back into holding his own, it can't and won't be anything that could be proven at court.) 

Then there was the entire situation with Zabuza and Haku, far from being the only one, where Sasuke realized the touches he hated - hated with passion , he swears! - he actually… rather enjoyed. Of course, instead of just touching Naruto with the same easiness as Naruto touched his best friend, Sasuke… well. He didn't really know how to touch him, how to ask him for attention, or how to touch on his own, and now this was turning serious, how to… thank him. For his friendship, for the touches, for keeping around, even if Sasuke knew he’s being difficult, and he prayed every day, while in team 7, that Naruto would meet him at their spot, take his hand, or hug him, or tell him some dirty joke and gently jab his side or arm or shoulder. 

The only Uchiha and the only born Sharingan bearer sworn to Konoha, the prodigy, the most talented shinobi of his generation, the only person destined to decrease Uchiha Itachi, the most dangerous nukenin in the history of Konoha, didn't know how to show gratitude, or friendship, or generally how to behave like decent a human being. 

So he had to… improvise . 

Sasuke knew he started to save Naruto during missions on purpose. At first, he masked it as a “I can mock him for it later”, but eventually it became his priority not for his pride, but for Naruto’s sake, and also to… well. Touch him.

-That’sssss dissssgussssting.-

All that while having a perfectly solid excuse - I was saving his arse - but in reality, he wanted those touches. Without any romantic or any other motive, just out of curiosity, when will Naruto catch up, realizing what Sasuke is doing… 

(Sasuke wanted him to catch up - he needed it, even, for the sole purpose of Naruto knowing, since the Uchiha Heir did not know how to use words of appreciation, love and intimacy. Sasuke wanted Naruto to notice how desperately the Uchiha wants the touches, the friendship, the attention. How much Sasuke appreciates the blond’s presence and his friendship, but…)

...but it never came. 

----

Sasuke was getting ridiculous with the “I save you, so I can mock you later  , while all I secretly want is to touch you and talk to you and be close to you in the saving process” thing. They all knew Sasuke loves to humiliate Naruto and show him he’s being an idiot, especially in front of an audience of at least their team, but he’s also perfectly ready to help him up when he falls, or catch him mid-air, or take a kunai for him. On the other hand, he was also known for using his kekkei genkai on him, when Naruto was too annoying. 

While knowing about the blond’s inhuman healing, Sasuke still went all out for him, even in cases Naruto himself found unnecessary. So instead of letting the spray of shurikens fall mostly on the ground and maybe one scratching Naruto’s arm (Naruto can be fast, but he’s not as fast as a Sharingan user), Sasuke went all in, pushed Naruto to the side losing half of the second he’d need to avoid the attack without an injury, resulting in two shurikens scratching his side and shoulder. Nothing serious, it will be completely gone within two, three weeks, but still. Those injuries would last Naruto a couple of hours, a day tops, due to his genes or potentially some family kekkei genkai (Sasuke didn't know about the Kyuubi back then), but Sasuke caused himself injuries he didn't need to have, and Naruto would have fewer problems with, if Sasuke didn't intervene, for the only purpose: to touch Naruto, save him, show him gratitude like this. Sadly, his comrade never understood why he’s doing it.

“ I swear,” Naruto mumbled when he was cleaning Sasuke’s wound on his side. The shuriken spray was about to hurt Naruto’s thigh, but Sasuke unnecessarily came to save the day and ended up worse than Naruto would have, and even the blond knew it. “It’s almost as if you did it on purpose to yourself.” 

Sasuke smirked, his face was hidden behind his fringe. But yes, yes indeed. 

Naruto fixed the bandage and stood up, holding his hand for Sasuke to take to help him up. Sasuke took it without second thoughts, and maybe he blushed and hid his face from his best friend, but that was a secret, and nobody else knew.

Chapter Text

Eventually, he started to do these things for Naruto’s comfort rather than to prevent an injury. Naruto was clumsy to say the least, and while Sasuke always rolled his eyes, called him dobe, idiot, stupid, or whatever, he still caught him when his chakra flawed and Naruto was about to fall from a tree/roof/cliff/shore. Or keeping him upright when Naruto missed the last step of the stairs. Or when he missed the door a bit, and he’d hit the door frame, Sasuke was quick to hold his hand between the door frame and Naruto’s face. It was getting so obvious, he was getting weird looks from Kakashi. And when Sasuke actively took away some of the responsibilities they had on missions, even Naruto reacted. 

Sasuke was keeping patrol for their team on one of the missions. He doesn't remember what it was about, he just remembers Naruto was rightfully exhausted. Sasuke was awake, silent, mostly looking at the stars. Naruto is going to love this, Sasuke thought to himself. The view was amazing tonight. He looked around - Sakura was sleeping, the fire was going strong behind Sasuke, Kakashi… who knows. It looked as if he slept, but Sasuke was never sure about that guy. Naruto slept silently, cuddling into himself while lying on his side, facing Sasuke. Sasuke was getting a small rush from this - in a few minutes, he had to wake his friend up, which means he can touch him without it being weird. Sasuke got up and inched to Naruto’s sleeping form, reached up and gently touched his face with the back of his fingers. A gentle caress, another one. He knew Naruto won't wake up, and if so, Sasuke can pretend he was just about to jab his shoulder to wake him up. Naruto remains calm, unmoving. Sasuke hoped he could see Naruto chasing after the touch, wanting more, but the dobe didn't even move. He probably didn't even feel it. Sasuke gently touched him again. 

“ Wha’ you want, ‘ske?” Naruto mumbled with his eyes still shut

Sasuke nearly had a heart attack. He didn't even notice the blond was awake!

“ Watch,” Sasuke whispers, trying to hide his crazy heartbeat.

“ Hn,” Naruto remembers and sits up in his sleeping bag without opening his eyes. 

“ But…” Sasuke continued, seeing the state he was in. “You don't have to. I’ll take the watch for you.” 

Now that was something worth opening eyes for. Naruto looked up, all sleepy and tired and adorable. He watched Sasuke, who realized maybe he went too far for his friend, maybe he was finally being caught and maybe, Naruto will finally call him on his soft spot for him…! Sasuke’s heartbeat picked up as he anticipated the next words from his best friend. 

Naruto chuckles and says: “You know I’d fall asleep on the watch, don't you.”

Sasuke wanted to howl in desperation. “Yes.” 

“ I’ll pay you back, asshole.” 

“ Hn.” 

Sasuke didn't cry, when he was sitting on the cold grass, looking up at the stars, sometimes watching his best friend. He didn't. He didn't! And if Kakashi claims anything else, from when he woke up about three hours later to switch on the watch with him, he’s lying. 

Sasuke didn't know what he felt, back then. He just knew it hurt him, that Naruto didn't… he didn't seem to understand Sasuke was- Sasuke wanted him to…-! Sasuke, -ah. He just… 

Naruto was important to him. And Sasuke didn't know how to tell him, or how to… change their relationship. Therefore, he found another way to stick close to the blond without talking, since talking was not working for them at all - definitely not for Sasuke, because every time Sasuke said something, Naruto understood it differently, and whenever Naruto said something, Sasuke never knew what to say back, or what to do. Their relationship, whatever you want to call it, was so messed up, Sasuke didn't even know how to describe it. For instance, and Sasuke realized it much later, in his solitude - he loved to get hurt for Naruto's comfort. Not only because he got to touch his friend during the “saving”, but mostly for the talking Naruto did after, and of course… the bandaging, and the care and comfort he got from it, and more touching, and Naruto being concerned for Sasuke’s health. 

It didn't happen as much lately, but sometimes Sasuke’s “save Naruto” missions were needed. One of those times, they were attacked at night during a B-rank. Sasuke and Naruto were both asleep in their tent, when they heard a fight. Naruto was never the greatest when you woke him up unexpectedly, so of course his speed and aim were not as good as usual. It was the first time in a long while Sasuke saved Naruto from an injury that might not be lethal, but certainly dangerous, and Naruto was so shocked he didn't see the kunai coming, he actually cried a bit after it was all done, and they were safely back in their tent, clearing Sasuke’s injury. 

Sakura wanted to help, but Kakashi was smart enough to let her stand guard, insisting Naruto can take care of the Uchiha. And so Naruto did – his hands were shaking, when he was cleaning Sasuke’s side and upper thigh, but he did his job perfectly. Sasuke didn't know what to say, so he just rolled his eyes and stayed silent. 

“ Why do you do this?” Naruto whispered brokenly after a while of uncomfortable silence.

Sasuke would love to say something to his friend, reassure him, cheer him up, tell him that his injuries aren't that bad, and he’s going to be okay, but back then, the Sharingan didn't have the emotional capacity for it. 

Sasuke didn't like it, when Naruto didn't insist on an immediate answer. He usually asked a question, and then just answer it himself while jumping around Sasuke and reading his body language. It was actually an amazing process Naruto had to learn, because he never made a mistake in what restaurant Sasuke wanted to eat at when they went together, or what kind of practise he wants to do next during their training. It was one of the moments Sasuke realized how much time and effort Naruto had to invest in him. 

“ Do what.” 

Sasuke was pretending to be oh-so-above-it, but truth be told, he wasn't. Naruto was touching too close to the area of his body he just started to understand properly himself, he was hurt, he was still shocked about what could have happened to Naruto if he didn't jump in, and embarrassed by being half naked in front of his… not-crush . 

“ ...Keep saving me, if you insist we aren't even friends, and that you hate me.” 

It was actually an awakening moment for Sasuke because… did the stupid moron really believe Sasuke hated him ? And that they were not best friends?!? 

Sasuke wanted to actually say something, he was trying to think of something to say, something that wouldn't be sappy, or stupid, or rude, or just underwhelming, but as time passed and Sasuke tried desperately to try and think of what to say and how to say it, Naruto took his silence as an answer. He finished his bandaging, turned around and got into his sleeping bag. 

Naruto cried all night, his back to Sasuke, while the raven haired boy was lying on his back, wide awake, unable to do nor say anything to save his apparently-not friendship. He just lied there, listened to Naruto silent weeping, while not being physically nor emotionally capable to do anything for his best friend. 

The next time they saw each other was in the arena of Chuunin exams - the beginning of their end. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke looked up; nearly midday. He was way too close to the village, way too soon. He expected to have a week or two more just to think, just to get ready to… he didn't know what exactly. 

Everything he remembered from Konoha four years ago, is gone now. The time the people there had to grow up, age and mature was as damaging to the village as Pein/Nagato’s attack.

He heard Naruto was travelling, learning, teaching, saving the world. He lost his teacher, he found peace with his inner demon, and he was getting famous. Konoha’s hero, that’s what he’s heard - that’s all the small, stupid, socially awkward kid ever wanted, and from what Sasuke heard, he made it. Sasuke could only be jealous, from now on. His goals - killing Itachi and renewing his clan - are never going to be fulfilled. 

-Sssorry for your losss.- 

What he doesn't know is, what does Naruto think about Sasuke now. And when he sees him in just about a day… what will his reaction be? 

When they were children, they had their language no one understood. When they were fighting, yelling, arguing, everything was okay. When they agreed on anything, it was serious. When they were helping each other, it was critical. 

What really mattered, was the body language they had with one another. Fist bump was, at the end of the day, we are okay. When they did formations during a mission with their backs or bums touching, they were ready to die for the other. Jabbing and ramming each other was playful, like puppies who had way too much energy. Holding hands at night was when they were scared or lonely. And sometimes they held hands even during the day, when they were awake.

-I’m going to be ssssick.-

When Sasuke had missions or training on his own, Naruto welcomed him back with a hug, and while Sasuke rolled his eyes and never hugged Naruto back and acted as if he hated it, he never even tried to prevent Naruto from doing it. He found himself asking Kakashi for more missions alone, for more training sans the team, just to receive Naruto’s hug when he came back. 

Sasuke had four years for nothing but analysing every touch, every hug, every word, everything they’ve ever said to each other. He analysed into detail all of Naruto's personality, all the quirks and traits, the good as well as annoying, and he had a different opinion on it all today. 

-Creepy, muchhhh?-

Naruto had happened to fill up all of Sasuke’s mind, while in his isolation. In order not to lose the rest of his sanity, he relived all of their childhood, the good as well as the bad, several times, before Itachi came into the picture - after that, everything was a bit better. 

Maybe that was the reason he was so nervous now. There was a hug every time they didn't see each other for three, five days, the hug being longer depending on how long Sasuke - or Naruto, after meeting his mentor - was gone. How long hug would fix a four years old “I need to leave, and while I know you’ll never understand why, I need you to let me go”? 

And would any? 

If it would only be that, only Sasuke leaving, then perhaps. 

Naruto might be mad, after that. Stressed. Annoyed. Angry. Hurt. Disappointed. 

But after the fight they had in the Valley of End, and everything that led to it? All the hurtful, scary, degrading, humiliating, untrue things Sasuke told him, screamed at him? Yes, he needed to go, and he couldn't take Naruto with him for the simple reason of Naruto belonging into the village without anyone knowing why, but he did belong there, wanted to stay there and protect the people of Konoha - at least that’s what Sasuke told him. There was no reason to tell him the truth - Sasuke wasn't sure he'd ever come back, back then, and his death wasn't out of the picture. Sasuke’s thoughts were elsewhere, and so were his plans. But that doesn't excuse him for what he’s said and done to his supposed to be best friend. 

A simple sorry would never fix it. 

-But a ssssorry can be sssuccessssssful sssstart of a converssssation.-

He knew it won't be easy. But he still hoped he could have the blond as a teammate, or at least a colleague. 

----

“ Are you thinking about Naruto?” Itachi asked after a few hours of comfortable silence. 

The hidden smirk was impossible to see with the human eye, and while there are not many things you can hide from a Mangekyou user, there’s nothing you can hide from Itachi. Sasuke hoped he can become at least as good as his brother.

“ Hn,” Sasuke looked into his brother’s eyes just because he can now. 

Itachi senses his brother’s amusement, and he smiles to himself timidly: “I sincerely hope you won't, ever.” 

...For your own good, Sasuke knows Itachi is thinking. 

Sasuke takes a while to study his brother, analyse him – this time his look. Itachi’s looking up, eyes closed, facing the sun and catching the warmth of an ending winter. His jawline is stretched, his profile sharp and handsome and so, so young. 

“ You admitted your new-found analysing skills came from being isolated, right?” Itachi added as if it is obvious. And from his point of view, Sasuke nods, it probably is. 

“ Therefore it’s obvious why I don't want you to,” Itachi leans his head to the side, opens his eyes and looks at Sasuke, eyes black. It’s the first time Sasuke’s seen his real eyes since the massacre. “Don't you think?” 

Sasuke lets his brother’s words settle like autumn leaves, before he starts at the beginning. “I thought it’s what I prefer.” After a while, he adds: “Solitude. Loneliness. Isolation of a kind.” 

“ Preferring and having no other option never equals, Sasuke.” 

And it sounds like a warning. 

----

I know that now, my dear brother , Sasuke thinks as he travels through the woods, the glades, the rivers and lakes. He sleeps under the stars with only two names in his mind - Naruto, that’s a constant of his life, never changing, never disappearing; and Itachi. He loved his brother, when he was a child. He hated his brother while growing up. And now that he’s nearly an adult, he’s… well. He doesn't know for sure, yet. 

-Your ssssibling sssseessss you as hisssss perfect angel.-

He settles for the night, welcoming the nightmare with the ease of a desperate man; Sasuke now lives for any chance to see and talk to Naruto.

Chapter Text

The Snake in his mind is easier to ignore the closer they are to the gates of Konoha, and just the pure fact he was still able to find it means he’s still welcomed here. Itachi was right, Sasuke can find a way into the village without the Hokage knowing, but he doesn't want to give the villagers more reason to not trust him. 

There are two gennins at the gate, kids four, five years younger than him. Sasuke doesn't know them. 

“Who are you, and what business you have here?” 

He’s been gone for too long. “I’m Uchiha Sasuke. I reside here.” 

“Uchiha,” one of them murmurs and looks down into his papers, looking for his name, for his family emblem. The other one watches Sasuke like a hawk, and after a second he says what he’s thinking: “Uchiha’s don't reside here any longer.” 

Ah, so this one at least knows the most famous and probably the most feared family in this country. 

“There isn't any Uchiha residence here,” the other one says before Sasuke has any chance to reply. 

His friend, the one who knows about Uchihas, is way clearer in his means: “Leave.” 

Be it told two years ago, Sasuke wouldn't be able to get over his pride, he might actually get offended by this overprotective gennin, but he has quite changed since. He stopped wearing traditional Uchiha robes showing the crest, but he still is an Uchiha, by blood and by history. He lets his eyes show his true self, and it baffles both boys enough for Sasuke to take a step back in surrender: “I’m here to speak to the hokage.” 

“The hokage is not in the village,” the smaller one says, while the other, the one who seems to have some kind of grudge against Uchihas, says to his obviously stupid friend: “You are not to give information about Hokage to strangers, idiot!” 

“But he said to inform him about unexpected guests possessing Sharingan. And that they are welcomed here!” the boy yells in defence. 

He…? Sasuke wonders in the meantime. Has Tsunade given up her position? Was she hurt, dead? No, he would get some info, Itachi would know, he would know himself. There’s no chance something bad happened, is there? So who could “he” be, who is the hokage now? He , he , who could take over her post? Jiraiya is dead, the Snake is within him, and there’s no other - but Danzo, Danzo could- !

“He told us he’ll use the Kancho no jutsu on us if we disrespect his orders!” 

Sasuke gives a relieved huff. There’s only one person who could ever say something like that. 

“I am an old student of Kakashi,” Sasuke gently smiles at the children. “I’m sure he’s expecting me.” 

“Kakashi?” the unfriendly child asks, confused. His shy friend chimes in with a “Who is Kakashi?” 

-Danzo.-

Sasuke he jumps over the two kids and runs for the official building. 

If it’s Danzo, I don't have enough chakra to fight him , he thinks as he runs, faster than he’s ever had. He doesn't have the strength to look left and right, to think logically, he only sees danger – danger he needs to prevent. He doesn't get inside the official way but jumps in through the window to the Hokage’s office the way Kakashi taught him, all the years back, to be met with something he definitely didn't expect. He straightens up, calming his nerves as well as breath and heart – a fight is obviously not needed. 

This person might fight him, but he’s the only one who’s got the right to do it. And he’s also the only person Sasuke would let win in any type of fight. He owes him as much.

In all his glory, in the middle of the hokage’s office, stands with his hair longer and eyes bluer, icier than Sasuke remembers, his best friend. He’s wearing just a black tank top and simple white loose pants, hiding some seals Sasuke never heard about. His body is all muscles, he’s tall, a bit taller than Sasuke himself, which is a shock. He wears a tight, long braid at the back of his neck with five beads in them. He has a tattoo of the Fire crest on his shoulder, just like most ANBU do. There’s a beautiful necklace with a tiny glass pendant filled with something, resting just above his collarbones. He looks like a god – handsome, tanned, tattooed, with an attractive jawline and the eyes, fuck, the eyes . 

Gone is the awkward, unfocused boy with tangly limps and round face, who never knew how to win. This young, attractive, strong man standing in front of him is someone completely else than who Sasuke fought four years ago in the Valley of the End. 

-I am impresssed.-

“...since then.” Naruto actually finished his sentence (he was talking to someone standing at the door, Sasuke doesn't have the capacity to even notice who it is), before he looked at who came in through his window. “Now, please give us a moment.” 

He isn't surprised to see me , Sasuke realizes, still in a mild shock. He knew I was coming.  

Naruto then turns around properly. Is he a God…? They stay alone in the room, and it takes a second before Sasuke realizes he’s probably facing the current Hokage. He finally finds his manners, as he gently bows. Naruto rounds his table, offering a small, professional gesture for Sasuke to sit down: “Welcome back.” 

Professional? He’s never been professional before. He never knew he had to guard his emotions and how to be elegant, socially acceptable, let alone understanding how to use politically correct behaviour. 

“I’ve sensed you since last week, you’ve been wandering around the country for a while. The council wanted me to send guards for you, insisting you got lost. I’m glad you remembered the way back,” and then, Naruto politely smiles. “Even after all those years.” 

If Sasuke ever had any doubts in the past if he’s got it all wrong, if he’s overthinking, if he’s just being played by his mind, if he’d gone crazy in his solitude and this is what he decided to focus on not to lose the rest of his sanity…  He’s sure now. 

He’s stars trucked, he’s charmed, he’s caught, he’s damned, he’s gone. 

He’s in love . 

Chapter Text

Naruto sits into the Hokage’s chair and takes a paper from the left side of the table, writing something in. “I’ll give you this,” he signs the paper. “For your supervisor, which was settled on Cougar. She will tell you everything you need to know, and she will also decide about your ninja progress. Technically, you’ve never passed chuunin levels, but I’m sure that won't be necessary.” 

He’s talking to me as if there isn't any emotional connection between us. As if we are strangers. As if we knew each other in the past only as classmates, people who were in the same team, but never made it to friends. He’s talking to me as if he feels nothing when our eyes meet. He speaks as if I don't evoke any emotions in him. 

He treats me as if I was someone who isn't the most important person in his life. 

“The Uchiha compound was destroyed during Madara’s attack, or Zetsu’s. I’m… not really sure how that works, yet, but I’m sure Itachi told you.” 

“Ita-ehm,” Sasuke has to clear his throat. The air is suddenly too dry. “Itachi?” 

“Yes,” he looks a bit uncertain now. “He told me you know. About the coup and Itachi’s impossible choice.” 

“Yes,” Sasuke immediately responds. He just didn't tell me you two are in contact at all. 

-Jealousssss?-

“Shut up,” Sasuke mumbles, while thinking, I haven’t got even a simple ‘hi, I’ve missed you’, or the desperate, needy hug . Underwhelming doesn’t even describe his feeling.

“Excuse me?” Naruto lifts his eyebrow, but then his eyes change their colour, and Sasuke’s Mangekyou didn't expect that, even though he probably should. “Ah, yes. That’s why you possess the prisoner seal. I’ve felt your chakra levels were off, and Orochimaru's were subdued but not gone. I thought you left his body somewhere safe, not that you accepted his mind into your own to stop him from re-using his eternal technique.” 

“I – ehm,” Sasuke never thought he’s going to feel this embarrassed in front of his former friend. “I hoped to find  Lady Tsunade. It’s not possible to break the prisoner seal.” 

“That’s kind of the point of the seal, isn't it,” Naruto says and stands up, rounds the table and motions for Sasuke to stand up as well – to take a look at the seal. It trades from Sasuke’s jaw down his neck and torso, over his side and up to his back. “Let me see?” 

Sasuke stands up. He knew the Naruto he used to know wouldn't even know what a prisoner seal is, but this young man could be even able to safely break it. Sasuke wants to take off his coat and his shirt, but Naruto stops with a “no need, I can sense it.” 

His sage mode is impressive. Quick, balanced, strong enough to challenge his sharingan – maybe even Mangekyou. “It’s quite complicated, this one. Six ends, three sets of spheres. Give me a day or two. Till then, we’ll find someone you’ll be comfortable with to share your emotions with. Sakura is quite good, but I’d still recommend – well, Jiraiya was the best to get info out of anyone, but he’s… uh. Ehm, you can ask Cougar. She’ll… hm. She can talk to Orochimaru too. I can allow Itachi to perform the sealing, if you want. I’ll release the seal without damage to your eyes.” 

Twice. He mentioned Itachi’s name twice with more emotion than he provided me with. 

Sasuke is confused, heartbroken, and also frustrated. Who is this person?! Where is the ADHD Naruto. Where is their relationship. What happened? Is Naruto mad? Is he doing this on purpose? Is this some kind of elaborated joke? Why is Naruto talking about where Sasuke will be staying right now?!

“Sakura and Kakashi both offered that you could stay with one of them until you settle. You can stay in the ANBU unit flats, but be warned, those are shared.” 

Sasuke can only nod, but the obvious, and you – do you offer?, he doesn't have the balls to ask. Naruto obviously doesn't have pathetic memories about their shared past to keep him alive. It’s obvious Naruto chose to move on, and after all that Sasuke told him in the Valley of the End, and what he didn't tell him before, he doesn't blame him. 

He was theoretically ready for the option of Naruto being mad at him, offended or affronted. He didn't expect this kind of professional overview. 

“If you don't have any questions, you may go.” 

Who is this guy…? Sasuke wonders, as he slowly turns around to see the door Naruto was – without words or gestures – leading him to. 

He actually has so many questions: how did you meet my brother? How well do you know each other? You know about Madara and Zetsu. Do you know about their plans? You possess the power of six paths? How did you kill Pein? Are you mad at me? Are we still friends? When did you become Hokage? Are you in love? Where do you live? Who’s your best friend? Where is Tsunade? Why didn't the gennins at the gate know Kakashi’s name? The prisoner jutsu is a forbidden one, how comes you know how to release it, when it's not possible? How comes you knew I was coming? You said you sensed my chakra levels during my fight with Orochimaru – how is that possible? Were you looking after me with your skills? How strong you actually are? How did you become so attractive? How did you find your peace with the Nine-Tailed Fox? Why doesn't the young boy at the gates remember the name of Uchiha? Why are there no scars on your perfectly structured body? How are you able to have a calm conversation with me, when I nearly killed you, yelled the worst things at you? Why are you so calm? Where is all the touching and talking you always used to do? 

But he doesn't ask any. 

Naruto takes a white cardigan, long with a high collar but without sleeves. There isn't the “rokudaime hokage'' sign on it, but it’s obvious it belongs there. Then he remembers  - the children said that the Hokage isn't in the village at the moment. Maybe they didn't mean it as if he was gone, but simply that the village doesn't have a Hokage at all.

“W-where is Lady Tsunade?” Sasuke manages to ask. 

“Hm? Oh, she’s in the hospital.” 

Sasuke looks worried and wants to ask further – he kind of likes the woman, albeit they haven't met in person yet. 

Naruto, seeing his worried face, immediately adds: “She’s the head of it.” 

Ah, yes of course - legendary medic ninja, of course she’s the head of Leaf’s hospital! Sasuke, you are being irrational and completely useless - another thing he never expected to be, but it seems like his body reactions changed since he was a child, especially if he’s close to the blond. 

Chapter Text

Naruto was… attractive, you might say, even as a child, in the sense that something was drawing people towards him. Sasuke saw it probably before everyone else, but that’s not the point. 

Yes, he always felt intrigued, drawn to the charismatic boy with such a sad background, hated and misunderstood by everyone. He always admired his strength and the positivity he was able to find in literally everything and everyone. He was always mesmerized, and later in life, charmed. What’s new in this chemistry is the strong sexual attraction Sasuke feels towards the man Naruto have become. He’s strong, handsome, composed and self-confident in a good way, Sasuke doesn't know what to do with himself. Should he tell him? Should he corner him right here and now, forcing intimacy on him that he so desperately wanted? 

...Of course not. Sasuke would never - he could never - he can't and won't demand anything of the boy he in his nauseating fear and egoism nearly killed. Sasuke knew this was going to be hard, but he didn't consider the animalistic want he’s going to feel for his long-lost friend who became a hero. He thought Naruto will be as he was for him: interesting, calming, feeling like home, time worth spending with. But this mature, charming, attractive Naruto is like a flower for a bee, Sasuke can't stand the fact they obviously are no longer friends, and the closest they will possibly ever be is an ANBU to a Hokage, if that. When he was thinking about this in his isolation in the middle of his meditation, in between training, this wasn't an issue - he rarely felt any sexual need, but with Naruto this real and this close… 

“Cougar is ready,” Naruto tells his ex-friend, then he seals with his left hand and right in front of him, an ANBU with a Cougar mask appears. Sasuke has a vague memory of the ANBU, the chakra feels similar.

“Hok-”

“Cougar,” Naruto interrupts her immediately, but all three of them know what Cougar wanted to say; Hokage-sama. 

She probably wants to bow to him too, but he won't let her. 

“I need you to evaluate Uchiha Sasuke, his strength, purpose, and plans for his future. He’s not allowed in the official building, hospital or near any ninja units on his own.” 

The ANBU, obviously a young woman, nods and says: “I can't stay with him at all times.” 

“I’m not asking for as much. I have trust in the Uchiha to obey my orders, hence my demand of these orders, to prevent future misunderstandings.” 

The Uchiha , Sasuke can't believe his ears and eyes. The Uchiha . Not even… he’s not even referring to him by his first name . 

Sasuke understands the political situation isn't as stable as Leaf pretends it is, and while he knows this isn't personal, the Hokage is only giving orders to his subordinates, he can't stop the sadness in heart and soul. He is disappointed and offended, but he knows the decisions Naruto makes are in the best interest of the village, and Sasuke can only admire the responsible Leader Naruto has become. No matter how much that means that Sasuke is nothing but “the Uchiha” to him. 

“Copy that, Captain,” Cougar nods, turns to face Sasuke and offers a sharp: “Uchiha.” 

Sasuke actually has to use his chakra to be sure before he replies with a gentle nod: “Ino.” 

Naruto steps away as Ino takes off her ANBU mask. Sasuke remembers Ino when she was a child. She was as madly crushing on him as Sakura, maybe more. He hoped she’s past that phase, especially if their Hokage expected them to work together, at least for now. 

“Lunch still on?” Ino asks her friend before he goes back to his office. 

“Of course it is,” he gives her the famous smile, and Sasuke can't stop the jealous thug at his heart. This smile used to be his as well. “I’ve got news to share.” 

Sasuke doesn't want to sound arrogant or eccentric, he didn't expect everyone to be madly surprised or happy he’s back, he was confident he didn't matter to most people in the village, but he had hoped at least his ex-classmates might be… he doesn't know, surprised he’s back? Or at least curious about where he’d been, what he’s been doing? Or what made him come back? Is he really such a low priority for the village? 

Naruto behaves as if Sasuke only left for an A-rank and was back soon after, just as do every other ANBU - well, his ANBU he actually cared for way more than for Sasuke, and again, Sasuke doesn't want to be the arsehole here. Yes, he deserves it, yes, he expected such behaviour. It’s just… Naruto behaves as if they were nothing more than classmates when they were children. Like they were not best friends. Like they didn't use to hold hands before when they couldn't sleep, and hug when they came back from a mission.

You see, if he was angry, mad, yelling, screaming, or even crying, it would… it would mean he still cared. It would mean Sasuke is important enough to invest emotions into. But this professional indifference only meant that Sasuke meant nothing to the future Hokage. Barely a standard genin he doesn’t know by name.

“Are the news about Gaara?” Ino winks at her leader.

“It’s Kazekage-sama to you, Cougar.” 

But there’s no real warning in his tone, and Sasuke notices the young man actually blushes -  probably that’s why she giggles and bows her head, a gesture typical for ANBU and their Hokage, but Naruto seeing the gesture rolls his eyes and reminds her: “Don't, Ino.” 

She openly laughs now, it’s obvious they are close friends for her showing respect, but in personal matter she is as open and easy-going as their friendship probably is. The simple banter from Ino’s side is met with the same friendly tone; they are used to each other, used to this kind of friendship. They share a past - a past Naruto and Sasuke could share too if Sasuke wasn't destined to lose him.

Chapter Text

As Naruto disappears and him and Cougar stay alone, Sasuke realizes two important things of today: first, Naruto’s as close as ever with all his ex-classmates, that’s something Sasuke never considered, and probably with all the citizens - of course, he’s their hero now, their leader, future or current, and second, there’s something going on with Gaara, the jinchuuriki Sasuke remembers from their chuunin exams. He heard about the Kazekaze and his heroic protection of Suna, and he also heard about his kidnapping and death, and how Naruto saved him. He figured there must be a closer relationship with Gaara since the Kazekage is often a dear guest of the Hokage, as well as Naruto was known to take missions that lead him to the desert way too often. 

The realization gives another pang to Sasuke’s heart and gives him another reason to be jealous. The slight blush on Naruto’s face when Ino mentioned Gaara’s name surely meant something, maybe even something romantic between Naruto and the Kazekage. That thought leads to the realization that Naruto might have romantic feelings for someone, anyone at all, perhaps a boy even, but that boy was definitely not Sasuke.

It’s a hollow feeling Sasuke had no idea he could feel after everything that he went through, and at that realization, he gives up. He should have never hoped for a happy ending, because his life wasn't written for ever after. He was born for power, and power is the only thing he can give to the most important person in his life. He’s just a tool - just like Itachi is, just like he said all Uchihas should refrain from anything else than being tools. Soldiers in the ANBU or a police force, without any political ambitions. And it is what it is, really. Just because Itachi hoped Sasuke’s life would be happier, safer, doesn't mean it will be, or that Sasuke deserves it. He knows he doesn't deserve the happiness in the form of Naruto. He should be mindful of only being used as a power tool the way Naruto as the leader or as a Hokage wishes for, and that's all. 

Itachi was never allowed personal, civilian life, no matter how much he wanted exactly that, and Sasuke should be granted his personal wishes…? No, it’s fair like this - Itachi can't have the love of his life for himself, either. 

Ino leads him into one of the offices, and Sasuke realizes it has her name on the desk. It says she’s a sensei now. This is so… surreal, Sasuke realizes. No interrogation or some big arrest, just a… just a job interview or something.  

“Where do you want to start?” Ino asks him as she sits down and offers Sasuke a chair. 

Ino doesn't sound hateful, but she obviously isn't happy to be here, either. 

“With the basic allowance, please,” Sasuke formally bows his head, a gesture noone has seen him do in this village before. Ino is a trained ANBU, she doesn't even flinch at his personality change. 

“You are not Konoha resident any more, therefore you aren't allowed to legally use any jutsu here, including Sharingan, unless specifically asked by your superior, which is any ANBU, any active jounin, the ANBU commander or the Hokage. You aren't allowed to visit any official building unless invited, and if you once more get into the Hokage’s office through the window, I won't hesitate to break your spine .” 

The following “if you have any” Ino doesn't say, but Sasuke hears. 

“I apologize, I was under a false assumption Danzo Shimura has taken over the office.”

“What?”

“There was a misunderstanding at the Gate,” Sasuke explains. 

Ino nods and obviously wants to make Sasuke uncomfortable by making him talk. But Sasuke is past that stage. “May I ask… who is the Hokage now?”

Ino sighs - it’s obviously a question she didn't want to answer, but she must address it somehow. “I’m a straight forward person, so I tell you directly: there are… issues about you coming back into the village. Yes, the Hokage trusts you, your teachers vowed for you, and you have the biggest advantage on your side, even if none of us understands why, but that doesn't mean everyone is happy you might be allowed to join Konoha’s elite units after siding for so many years with the enemy.” 

Sasuke nods and doesn't require an answer to his previous question. 

Ino notices, and while she had been on Kiba’s side when they talked about Sasuke’s return, she also understands that life sometimes sucks. “I was one of those who said it’s dangerous to share info that could potentially harm the village. So, as an elite Konoha shinobi, as someone who is trusted to protect the village and its citizens, I’m not comfortable sharing any info with you. But as… as a former classmate, I’m glad you found your way back home, in the end.” 

Sasuke didn't expect as much, and it does warm his heart in an odd way. He didn't expect to have feelings about other people. He slightly bows to her: “Thank you.” 

She looks him up and down, and after a while of silence, she says: “You’ve changed.” 

It’s said as a compliment. Sasuke decides to take it as a good sign and continues the conversation in this tone. He doesn't smile, but he looks her in the eye. Maybe that’s why she eventually decides to answer his initial question: “It’s… complicated now. Technically, Tsunade-sama never gave up her position, but when she entered the office four years ago, she said it’s just temporary, just to make sure the village is safe, and when the leader is ready to take over, she will leave the position as well as the village. It was… supposed to be Jiraiya, the Hokage. Before Naruto is willing to become the Hokage this village wants and needs.” 

…Does that mean Naruto doesn't want to become Hokage now…? 

There’s still time, Sasuke answers himself, he’s young and wants to live a bit probably before he takes over the position that’s full of work and responsibility. Four years ago, becoming a Hokage was a life-time goal, and only four years forward it’s his reality - it’s probably much sooner than he expected. 

“And right now there’s still… well. Itachi warned us and told us about things we had to take care of. Naruto is… Naruto agreed to become Hokage, but only under one condition. Everything is even worse now, because Dog left two years ago and -”

Dog, Sasuke’s ears perk up. Kakashi used to… Kakashi is Dog. 

“-… the entire village is tense.” 

Chapter Text

Dog has been gone for two years, because Itachi warned them…? Is Dog undercover somewhere, spying on Madara/Zetsu? Is he a part of Akatsuki somehow, working undercover just like Itachi? How comes Itachi never mentioned that he came back to the village, met Naruto, Kakashi and maybe even other ANBU? Why is his brother keeping secrets from him?

“Dog… is Kakashi, right?” Sasuke asks. 

Ino wouldn't tell him, but the look on Sasuke’s face tells her he’s asking because he cares. “Why are you asking?” 

“I… I talked to the boys at the gate. And they’ve never heard his name.” 

“Ah, the chuunins?” Ino smiles. “Fucking bastards, those. They were told to pretend to outsiders they’ve never heard of his name.” 

Ah, thank Gods, Sasuke visibly calms down. He’s undercover and noone can speak about him in his name to probably protect his undercover mission he’s on. “If you talked to Itachi, you must know about Danzo.” 

“Yes, we do. Thanks for the info, Itachi told us it’s you who dug it up,” she genuinely smiles now, obviously thankful. 

“Is he dead?” Sasuke asks just to be sure. 

“No,” Ino surprises him. 

When Sasuke looks surprised, Ino explains: “We need the info he has, mostly to find all the Root members, but also to understand what exactly happened to Minato-sama, the fourth Hokage. Noone but Rinnegan or Mangekyou users can interrogate the monster, and Naruto said he’d kill him on the spot, so we are… waiting for you. Not to interrogate Danzo, ANBU-CONS don't trust us, regular ANBU members, let alone a former nukenin, but Naruto says you are the only one who can stop him when he gets angry.” 

Wait. Wait, too much information now. How does Naruto know about rinnegan? How does Ino know about Minato? If Naruto said that only sharingan or rinnegan can interrogate the devil, how comes Naruto was in question to even interrogate him at all?! Because, Naruto isn't a sharingan user, and he can't be… he can't be a rinnegan user, can he?! But then another string of thoughts takes over his mind - Naruto actively said Sasuke is the only one who can stop him. Naruto would still listen to his former friend, even as strong as he is, would he still let Sasuke stop him? This is brand-new information that gives Sasuke a tiny bit of hope. Maybe things aren't as bad, maybe Naruto is masking his uneasiness for professionalism. Maybe things can get better, maybe they still have a chance…?

But for now, the hardest to understand is… his Mangekyou? How… How can they know? 

“Itachi told you about my Mangekyou?” 

“No,” She looks forward, smiling a bit. “Naruto did.” 

How could - how is that possible to - wait. Did Itachi tell Naruto exclusively? Or does Naruto just know because of his powers of Sage? Or does he possess other powers and techniques Sasuke doesn't know about?

He lost his best friend, and Naruto got out of his sight, but obviously, Naruto was still keeping an eye on his former friend - he did say he felt Sasuke’s chakra change, and he felt Orochimaru was subdued. 

“I know you remember him as a stupid unbehaved child who was all over the place, but trust me, he changed. After meeting Jiraiya, finding out about his parents… he changed. Especially after losing Jiraiya, and after he met Nagato. He went… through a lot. And after his childhood and everything he went through while he was growing up you’d say… his life would be easier after that, gentler towards him, but…” 

Sasuke’s silent. When he was young, he hated anyone (but Naruto and sometimes Kakashi) talking to him. But he knows he made many mistakes, and pushed away people who cared about him… that was the worst. So now when there were people who were willing to, after all he’s done, talk to him, he is grateful - especially when he learns things about Naruto.

“He lost you and soon after we nearly lost Shikamaru during a mission, and after that, Dog was seriously injured and fighting for his life. Right after that, Gaara died and was brought back. And soon after, we lost Jiraiya. During the attack, nearly everyone in the village died, including Dog, Neji, Choji, Kiba, Hinata, Tsunade… me. Naruto felt every single death during that fight, and even though he’s trying to hide it, I know he’s never got over it, even when all the people who were killed were given a second chance to live, but at the cost of Nagato’s health.” 

Nagato’s… health? Not life, health…? 

-Nagato isss sssstilll alive then, I asssume…?- 

“Pein… survived the attack?” Sasuke dares to ask, because this is news to him. He thought Naruto killed the enemy. He knows he’s risking being denied again, but Cougar genuinely doesn't look like she hates his presence. She might be uncomfortable, but she’s hiding it well.

“Pein is dead. Nagato… is still alive. Barely, and he’s… it’s not going to last long, Sakura said it’s just for a while.”

“How… did that happen?” Sasuke had no idea there was a way to fight rinnegan. 

“Well, Naruto negotiated and Nagato decided to change his mind. He withdrew the power he stored to destroy Konoha and used a forbidden rinnegan technique to bring all those he killed back to life in exchange for his own life, but Naruto used a forbidden technique on his own against it, so the life exchanged for the lives of the village… is Naruto’s. He never confirmed it, not even to Sakura, and trust me, she was doing everything to get the answers out of him, I tried everything I thought might lose his control and spill the beans, even Neji asked. Naruto never told us directly what happened or what technique he used. If someone knows, it’s Gaara , and he would rather be tortured than to give away Naruto's secrets. Naruto never confirmed the use of forbidden techniques, nor the fact he wanted to die for us, but there’s no other explanation.”

-Impresssssive.-

How strong Naruto actually is…?! To interrupt and change someone’s chakra flow and aim to turn it around, especially a rinnegan technique? Sasuke didn't know that was even possible, let alone to try it. “How is that even possible?” 

Ino looks at her ex-classmate, and takes him in. He really did change, and while she can say he is still handsome, whatever was so attractive about him when they were younger, it’s gone. There are scars across his body, but the deepest ones are only visible in his eyes, deep inside him. 

When the Great Clans and the Elders talked about the Uchiha taking residence in Konoha again, Ino didn't consider Sasuke’s life, past, his feelings, nor emotions. When she looks at him, the young, attractive, talented child she was madly crushing on, is gone. What is left is a broken shell for a great power. The Uchiha is somehow broken in a matter she didn't know how to describe. It was as if heartbroken - but she didn't believe Sasuke could ever fall in love, the thought was just ridiculous. Sasuke looks tired - the kind of tired that no amount of sleep could ever fix. At the age of seventeen, he should be full of power, in his prime, just like Neji is, after all he went through. 

On the other hand, she understands we all have our demons. “I’ve never heard you say so many words in your entire childhood as I have today.” 

Sasuke agrees, and he’s not proud of himself, but he’s glad so far he doesn't make the same mistakes that got him into his isolation in the first place. And it’s actually amazing to have a conversation with someone who has a face and a real body -

-That isssss sssserioussssly a rude thhhing to sssay to ssssomeone - 

 - so he doesn't even flinch when she teases him like this; he’s actually happy she chose this rather friendly approach now. He doesn't feel like a criminal as much now. Ino notices he’s silent but in a good mood, and so far she has a good feeling of this conversation, therefore she answers his initial question: “Apparently, Uzumaki can't kill Uzumaki.”

Chapter Text

Nagato is… Uzumaki? 

Sasuke doesn't even have to form a sentence, Ino already has an answer: “He is related to Naruto’s mother somehow, we don't know much. Naruto goes and talks to him for hours, but he doesn't speak about it with anyone, maybe with Gaara, and Shikamaru I guess. But my point was, Naruto lost a lot, and then saved… everyone. Tsunade nearly died after the attack. And then everything went to shit because we thought that’s it, right? The entire village was ruined in the final Akatsuki fight, but we won, right? This is the end now, isn't it? But, shit, that was just the start. Noone really thought this is how it ends, we all knew there’s something… there’s something else, or rather someone , but we hoped for some peace period or something. And then you started sending messages, right? The rest of Akatsuki, Danzo, Madara, Zetsu, and who knows what their plan really is. Tsunade basically stepped away from the position, and she is still… I mean, she never fully recovered from the battle. Naruto agreed to take over only temporarily, and only unofficially over the Hokage position, and only until Dog returns, but we haven't heard about Dog for six months now, and-!” 

“Can I help anyhow?” Sasuke asks immediately. “Is there anything me or my brother can do, anyway we can help, Sharingan included or not?” 

Ino stops completely, obviously forgetting her entire speech. She takes a second, and then she starts from the other side of her interest. “Last time I saw you, you were leaving the village for the sole purpose of killing your brother.” 

-Thisssss issss what your peersss thhhink you left for…?-

Sasuke’s expression must have shown the confusion, because Ino immediately says: “At least that’s what… we thought. You said you need to fulfil your life goal, and as I remember…” 

This is interesting, Sasuke realizes. She is close to Naruto, that much is obvious, and yet she doesn't know what really happened in the Valley of the End? Past that, he hoped he’ll be able to explain his reasons to someone else. Preferably Kakashi, because he was… he - well. But Sasuke wasn't important enough to get Naruto for himself to tell him his story and his reasons, and Naruto probably didn't care, anyway. It’s Ino who’s responsible for Sasuke, and also the one who will decide about his fate in this village. Therefore, if he wants to share without interrogation, he should. 

“It was… ultimately Danzo’s plan. Manipulate me, so I would kill Itachi and serve Konoha under his Root, at least that was what I found in the reports.” 

“And how did you find out?” 

“Not on my own,” Sasuke admits - all those years back he’d never admit he needed anyone’s help. Today, he feels a certain amount of confidence and belonging in the fact that he didn't have to rely only on his limited knowledge. “Most of it, Itachi explained himself. But the initial idea came from Orochimaru.” 

-Sssssnitch .-

“He wanted to use you against Danzo the same way Danzo wanted to use you against Orochimaru,” Ino understands. 

Sasuke doesn't have to answer - she’s right. 

“When you left,” Ino starts after a moment, obviously amused, “We all thought Orochimaru chose you to steal your eyes and probably to fuck you in his dirty dungeons.” 

“That was his plan,” Sasuke confirms.

-Ccccc’est la vie.- 

Ino laughs out loud. Sasuke doesn't know what to do with the fact he just purposely made Ino laugh, and he’s feeling good about it. 

“But I was stronger than he expected, so eventually, he wanted an ally instead.” 

Ino stops laughing, and it takes a while, but she does ask. Sasuke can tell she doesn't really want to know the answer to that, though. “Have you ever considered his offer?” 

Sasuke closes his eyes and focuses. He can hide the truth from her by activating Sharingan without her ever realizing what really happened. But he couldn't ever be called honorary shinobi of the Leaf, if he'd ever lied to his comrades. “For… a while, yes. Yes I have.” 

“Why?” 

Sasuke hoped for the other question, he’d rather answer the “why did you decide to come back, then”, but he knows the shame he feels and the truth the ANBU interrogator needs to hear now, are crucial to the trust he can build between the old life he ran from here, and the new one he might be offered, one day. Therefore, he goes for the honesty he knows he owes to his classmates, this village - but mostly to Naruto himself. 

“To have a purpose,” Sasuke shrugs. He lost his mind a bit, in his solitude. He would have, without his dear brother. “It was either that, or…” 

...Die. 

The shame and discomfort he feels isn't something he’d find freeing, four years ago. Sasuke doesn't want to finish the sentence for it might have brought him sympathy or worse, pity.  He never wanted either. 

Ino nods, looks down on her report. She takes a second to think about what he said. It’s true, then. Sasuke really left out of necessity, not out of his choice. He needed to leave, whatever his real intentions were. He never wanted to harm anyone by leaving. He hurt Naruto, not because Sasuke wanted to leave. Not because Naruto would go with him - and everyone, even Sakura, knew that’s exactly what would happen. If Sasuke needed to leave and mentioned there’s a journey for him to take, Naruto would go with him. Sasuke having a fight with Naruto, insisting he will go alone meant only one thing - Sasuke was aware Naruto needed to stay in the village, needed to stay where he is protected and where he will receive the best care from now on. And he was right. And that is a point of view that changes her entire perception of Sasuke and his status of nukenin. She looks up. His voice is smooth, a tone lower than she remembers. Sasuke Uchiha, the arrogant, confident boy, is still arrogant and confident, but he seems… broken. Ino looks at his hands, folded in his robes. He lost everything, he said. He said he knew the village won't accept him back. He was thinking about suicide. 

...Why is he here, then, …?

While Ino takes all the information in to make sure she can report the truth to her leader, Sasuke feels like this was really short, there were many things that needed to be addressed, but Ino didn't ask about those, and now it seems the questioning is over. This is actually really underwhelming - but it’s also only a start. Ino might be the one who decides about ANBU-CONS interrogation. 

But Ino closes the report on her table and looks up to meet Sasuke’s eyes: “Did you decide where you want to stay before you get something of your own?” 

No interrogation? No prison? No blinding seal? Just “don't use chakra and don't visit official buildings alone”? That is not only underwhelming, but also… unexpected. 

“Na-ehm,” Sasuke nearly blushes because he never stutters, ever. And especially not when saying someone’s name. “Naruto told me I can stay in the ANBU flats.” 

Ino looks him in the eye, but doesn't say anything regarding that issue. “I’ll write that into the report, just so you know, you’ll share the flat.” 

“With you?” Sasuke asks. He wouldn't mind sharing it with Ino. 

Ino stops mid-move when she wants to put the file into the folders, then she looks up with an unreadable expression: “With Fox.” 

Sasuke isn't sure, he never really learned to read people’s emotions the way Naruto did, but he thinks Ino smirked to herself for some reason. 

“You can stay in the flat until you are listed as Konoha resident, or until you are officially an ANBU member.” 

“Can I be an ANBU member without being Konoha resident?” 

Ino stands up and Sasuke follows her. “Yes. You can be told you can't reside in the village, and you don't have any access to Konoha’s protection, for example healthcare, but also any help in finding somewhere to live. Your ANBU Captain will always meet you at the gates, and you will take orders from him or her, which means no sole missions and no, well, prestige. Which also means you won't be wearing a traditional uniform and won't get a traditional ANBU name. You would be just a part of the team, just the mission and payment.” 

Sasuke leads the way to the door and holds them open for his former classmate. He hoped to belong to ANBU - he hoped he could hide there before his time comes. He just needed to take down Madara and Zetsu and destroy their plan, and he wants to actively help in that. He understands now that being an ANBU won't be a hiding place for him, and that unless he is found to be a suitable resident of the village, his plan becomes complicated, for staying somewhere near the village in complete solitude again is no longer a bearable option for him. And that unless he will be allowed to come back ever again and without anyone… without Sasuke being able to find a friend, especially after his brother succumbs to the disease, his initial plan of leaving this world will take place. 

Not even the Snake in his mind has anything to say to that. Sasuke nods to let Ino know he understands his fate and has no further questions.

Ino didn't expect this kind of behaviour, and she is pleased, but still can't figure out why she used to be so drawn to him. There’s an emptiness in his eyes that was kinda always there, and she can sense he’s scared, lost. He’s empty, really. As if he never had a soul. 

Sasuke isn't allowed to use techniques, therefore they have to walk the way to the flats. Ino leads the way with her mask on, and Sasuke goes three steps behind her, his eyes closed. He’s just trying his senses, it’s been years since he refrained from using chakra for everyday things, especially in new surroundings. He thinks about the chances of Dog being already dead, he thinks about Naruto never seeing him past his possible jounin/ANBU status. And to be frank, he doesn't really see the option to become an ANBU. Never in the past has someone who left the village to become a nukenin got past the ANBU-CONS to be able to even become active shinobi of Leaf, let alone to belong in elite units. He’s sure the Commander, ANBU members and even the Hokage would never allow him such a gratitude. And honestly, he doesn't expect it. 

Chapter Text

When Ino stops at the flat with number 7 on it, Sasuke opens his eyes. He can't be this negative. Not right now. 

“I… I shouldn't be telling you this, but there’s very few people who… are on your side. Shikamaru and Naruto had to fight really hard against our generation that your return is a good thing, and most of us agree. But… keep your distance from Kiba, Hinata… and Sakura. Mainly Sakura.” 

Sakura…? Sasuke for some reason expected she might be… he… well. He didn't consider her a friend in the past as much, but now that she’s nearly an adult, and she surely must be at least as mature and professional as her best friend (if Ino and her still are as close as Sasuke remembers), Sakura must be a pleasure to be around now too. 

“It’s… it’s not - it’s, ah it’s… complicated, it’s just that… you know, it was Kakashi and her who found Naruto. After the fight in Valley of the End. And she… over the years, we all have become really protective of Naruto and all, but she… takes his well-being very seriously mostly because it’s her job to keep the Hokage healthy. She took Tsunade’s fall as a personal failure, even when she was actually the only reason Tsunade survived at all. She is anxiously taking care of Naruto. And she thinks you… aren't really something that would help Naruto’s well-being.”

Sasuke slowly bows his head, mostly to hide the tears in his eyes. While he doesn't like to hear this, he’s glad he knows about this and can react wisely if confronted. “Thank you for your honesty.” 

Ino can't see his face now, and she can't read into it too much, but it appears to her, he’s genuinely sorry to hear that, and that Sakura’s reaction was unexpected, but seems to be taken with respect. Sasuke understands he’s not in any position to make assumptions or to take offence. He has to prove himself, first. 

Ino opens the door and lets Sasuke in first. It’s a small, two-bedroom flat with a small kitchen and a dining area between the living room and the kitchen. Sasuke turns around the place. There aren't many things here, but it is obvious someone lives here. 

He doesn't want to ask confidential questions, but he has to. He cares too much about him. “Can I ask about… Dog? Is he in direct danger?” 

“He’s… we believe the worst part is over, but it is dangerous.  It’s just he isn't in any position to report back. The last one we received was nearly six months ago.”

“Can I personally help? Is it Mangekyou related? Is Dog working with Itachi?” 

“Itachi… was a great help in this mission. And he still is. You and your powers are right now needed in the village, at least those are Hokage’s order.” 

Sasuke immediately bows his head and says: “I will go by Hokage’s orders.” 

Ino watches her ex-classmate for a while, looking for something that is still the same on this young man as it was on the child she knew. She doesn't see much. Even the Uchiha crest is gone from his robes. “I understand you are asking about Dog because you genuinely care. That’s also the reason I’m answering your questions. Thank you for caring for my friend, and thank you for offering your help. It means a lot to me.” 

Ino slightly bows to him, and Sasuke bows to her out of respect too. 

“You said Danzo was still alive, and he is my first task in this village. Can I ask about him?” 

“Yes, go on. Danzo is sealed and held in a prison guarded surprisingly by chuunins.” 

The most dangerous predator is guarded by children?!?

-Lucky basssstard.-

Sasuke wants to ask, he has so many things to add to this, but Ino only laughs and explains: “Don't worry, he himself isn't actually dangerous. We took away his sharingans, therefore he’s nearly blind, he’s sealed and chained. The chuunins are there just to piss him off. They come late for shift exchanges, they gossip, eat while on duty, flirt among each other, speak together freely without supervision, so they don't really watch their profanity, eat junk food, and they practise forbidden techniques. Danzo, who is obsessed with order, silence and complete obedience is held with a  bunch of kids who are prompted to be the proper brats they are,” Ino laughs lightly. “You’ve got no idea how hilarious it is to watch it because he can speak. He’s spitting orders, yelling at the kids, trying to rule them, except all they do is draw dicks on his face and read icha icha. It’s hilarious .” 

Sasuke can't help but smile a bit - he has an idea who thought of such a punishment. 

“I swear, when we leave Naruto and Dog in the same room for five minutes, they end up creating shit noone else would have thought about.” 

Sasuke didn't know Naruto and Kakashi were this close. From what Sasuke remembers, Kakashi was always kind of cold towards the blond. But if they are this close now, Sasuke can't imagine how scared Naruto must be, knowing how dangerous the mission is for their former sensei. He also can imagine their sense of humour, which this punishment for Danzo only confirms. Sasuke realizes the two must be actually good for each other - they both lost everything at one point of their lives. 

“You said you took Danzo’s Sharingans. May I ask…” 

Ino doesn't hesitate to answer now: “All Sharingans are stored in safety as they belong to the Hokage, since no Uchiha reside on the village, let alone a sworn Shinobi.” 

That’s fair enough. Sasuke simply nods and looks around the living room. He has one more question to ask, albeit he’s a bit ashamed of that. “You told me whom I should avoid the most. Is there anyone… Do I have friends in this village?” 

Ino smiles and, to his surprise, she nods. “Yes. Like I said, Dog was pleased. Iruka said he would like to speak with you, and he seemed genuinely happy about it. Tsunade-sama speaks well of you, for someone like her. Shikamaru I think appreciates mostly that you didn't turn out to be Konoha’s enemy, for he quite liked you back in the academy, before it all.” 

Yes, Sasuke remembers. He always felt they have a gentleman’s agreement with Shikamaru. They never spoke, but it was out of respect; Sasuke didn't want questions and Shikamaru was lazy. They sometimes ate their lunches near each other - Sasuke looking for places noone else would be to escape crazy fans, Shikamaru was looking for places to have a nap afterwards without someone finding him. Most of the time they shared such places at the same time. 

“...And well, me. If you want.” 

Chapter Text

Sasuke looks up. Her face is friendlier now, but Sasuke thinks she’s mostly saying that to make the interrogating easier. He still appreciates it, and he’s still thankful. He slightly bows to her, and she gives him a beautiful smile. But as far as he didn't expect to have so many people to still believe in him, and it does lift a terrible weight from his soul and heart, there is still one important name on that list missing. That one that means everything to Sasuke, the one that he swore his life to. 

If Ino can read his emotions or not, Sasuke doesn't know. He only sees the look in her eyes that shows unspoken sympathy for him, when she accepts his appreciating nod, and turns around to leave.

“Cougar,” Sasuke stops her. “Congratulations on making it to ANBU.” 

She grins at him, seals off and disappears. Sasuke stays alone, but this alone is different from in the Snake’s den. He looks around. The flat is similar to the one Kakashi used to live in, all those years back. It’s obvious someone lives here, there are clothes, there’s an ANBU cloak, but also some cardigans, shirts, loose pants, jounin uniform… The kitchen is small, but it looks like someone is regularly cooking here. There’s a pan on the stove, and a glass and a plate in the sink, probably from today’s breakfast. The fridge isn't empty, but it’s not full, either. There’s some meat, fish, vegetables, milk, soda and some sauces. In the cabinets he finds rice and dry pasta. A homemade meal can never be a bad start of a relationship, right? Therefore, he decides to take his mind off things, and cooking can do just that. 

Because let’s face it, things could go way worse. He could have been told he needs to stay outside the village. He could have been put through ANBU-CONS interrogation he heard horror stories about. Tsunade might have lied, and he could have been immediately arrested. Yes, he hoped to… he hoped he could talk to Tsunade, or Kakashi first, because he’d be more comfortable, and he’d probably ask more, and wanted to help immediately at something, anything. He secretly hoped Naruto himself would… at least guide him through some things, not just drop him off to his subordinates, but then again, Naruto is a soon-to-be Hokage. He has more important things to do. 

He’s right about done with the lunch, when suddenly in the middle of the living room, an ANBU appears out of nowhere. Sasuke doesn't even flinch, but he’s ready for a taijutsu fight, if needed. He’s not allowed to use chakra until - and if ever -  he’s proven Konoha’s resident. The ANBU might be here to see how strong Sasuke is now, as well as prove if he really won't use chakra for techniques, unless given an approval from Hokage or a sworn Konoha Shinobi. The ANBU is a bit older than Sasuke, and also someone Sasuke doesn't have a memory of meeting. But upon the stance of the ANBU, he’s not here to fight, it actually seems like he often appears here, at this exact spot. 

“Ah, hi,” the intruder says without a bow - that’s when Sasuke realizes he’s supposed to have a roommate. 

“Fox?” Sasuke asks and gets back to his cooking just in time to turn off the stove. 

“Lion,” the ANBU introduces himself. “Fox is my neighbour and a dear friend. I thought he’s home, he’s the only one on this block who cooks. You are his roommate?” 

“Yes,” Sasuke confirms. “I’m not an ANBU-”

“I know who you are, Uchiha,” Lion interrupts him easily and his tone is firmer now, definitely defensive. 

Sasuke doesn't want to start on the rough end with Fox’ friend, he therefore casually asks: “Have we met before?” 

He ignores the tension in the room, he is shinobi after all. He’s just a tool, he isn't human. He lost the right to be one four years ago. 

“No,” the ANBU answers, obviously taken aback with the conversation. “I never attended the Academy.” 

Making sure Sasuke knows Lion isn't classist nor average. He’s a real ninja, a person who had to get where he is by hard work and following orders, but he surely has an undeniable talent, a kekkei genkai, maybe. He wouldn't be here otherwise. 

“Neither did my brother,” Sasuke says without thinking and immediately stops in his mind, because… well, he had no reason to say it. At all. Then he realizes it’s been a long time since he had to guard himself about what he says out loud. 

“I remember your brother,” the ANBU to Sasuke's surprise announces. 

“Are you one of his enemies?” It's a simple question, but Sasuke knows he has no right to ask it. He’s therefore surprised to hear Lion’s answer.

“No.” 

“Food is ready.” Sasuke takes two plates and serves them both lunch. He’d never admit he's nervous and embarrassed, because if Lion says no, Sasuke would be left alone, yes, but he also would be ridiculed by the ANBU, and probably not only by this one. 

Lion looks at the food, then at Sasuke sitting down and taking chopsticks. After a second of second-guessing, he sits down, takes off his mask and sets it on the table, looking up to meet Sasuke’s gaze. 

Dark haired, green-eyed, attractive. With sharp cheekbones and narrow, slightly bigger nose he looks confident, sharp, witty - definitely someone you don't want to fuck with. He’s taller, well build, but nowhere as muscular as Naruto. 

“My name is Hyo.” 

“I’m… Sasuke.” 

Hyo nods and takes a seat across Sasuke, and after taking the chopsticks, he even adds a silent: “Itadakimasu.” 

Sasuke isn't blushing. He isn't! And if he is, he still doesn't know why. 

-Becausssse thisss isss the firsssst time you want to make friendsssss.- 

“You’ll be staying with Fox for now?” Lion’s voice is lighter now, not as rough. 

After Hyo takes the first bite, Sasuke answers: “I was told so, yes.” He finally starts eating, but he has no idea how the food tastes. He tries to remember the last time he had company during any meal. “Wasn't I … supposed to?” 

The question is well-meant. He doesn't want to be where he’s not wanted, but it was obvious from Naruto’s tone and face he’d be happier if Sasuke was in a secluded area from the village, and close to those he trusted the most - his sworn ANBU, while most of them are his friends in personal life. 

“Hm, the food tastes amazing,” Lion compliments and has another bite before answering. Sasuke thinks this is another part of interrogation, he just doesn't know why. “You were expected to stay at Dog’s,” Lion clears without any emotion behind those words. 

While Sasuke knew he won't be welcomed, maybe not taking Kakashi’s empty flat for a residence was a mistake. 

“I’m not saying you should,” the ANBU adds right away. “I’m just saying we didn't expect you to reside with peasants here.” 

“Elite ANBU are peasants now?” Sasuke asks. 

“Well, ANBU are mostly poor for that matter, and still live in shared flats until they are at least Captains,” Hyo explains and has another bite.

Sasuke nods in understanding. “I hope I will prove I belong here.” It’s the only option for me to do something good. 

I’m a weapon, I’m a source of power. 

Please , let me belong with you, let my Hokage give me orders, and I promise I’ll prove my worth.

But after this, there’s a long silence. Sasuke realizes he should have probably stayed quiet. They eat in silence that’s not uncomfortable per se, but there is something in the air. Sasuke didn't ask a question, therefore Lion doesn't owe him an answer, and just because Sasuke said something doesn't necessarily mean Hyo is here to keep the conversation going. 

After Lion finishes his food, he puts aside his chopsticks, gets up and takes his mask from the table. He pauses for a moment, looks Sasuke in the eye and with a welcoming, warm smile he says: “You will never belong with us.” 

With that, he seals off and disappears. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke runs to the kitchen sink to throw up. He’s not used to people playing games with him, he was never bullied due to his status in this village, and noone ever tried to play him before, because even Orochimaru realized he’s a dangerous enemy. But in this village at this time, Sasuke has no power - there’s no reason to treat him with grace or any sympathy, which is an aspect Sasuke completely overlooked when he considered coming back to the village. 

He is devastated from it because he tried to be nice, he tried to make friends and to give his best, he spoke politely, he didn't ask intrusive questions and wasn't trenchant as he used to be, and he was denied, thrown away like rubbish. The Uchiha didn't feel this betrayed since… well. Since the Massacre. He never really tried to befriend an adult, and the first time he tries, he comes not only blank, but also hurt. He’s mad, and frustrated, and disappointed.

He hates it. He hates coming back. He’s angry and agonized and forlorn.

But he can't leave the village because of it. 

The part of himself who knows this treatment is exactly what he deserves reminds him, thought: He’s right. You don't deserve human contact. Get over yourself. 

The Uchiha closes his eyes, finds his balance and puts on the calm, unaffected face. That’s what he used to do since he was born, he thinks.

Sasuke gets up from the kitchen floor, cleans the dining room and kitchen, and finally decides to have a look around the place. There's a small balcony with some vegetable plants, a living room with one couch and two armchairs, a bookshelf, a few boxes probably with personal things, an open box with scrolls, a coffee table and a small TV. The other room is the bedroom and Sasuke opens the door just to see where he's going to sleep - there’s… uh. Well, there’s just a double bed. The bedroom is tiny, there’s space for only the bed, wardrobe. It makes sense for just the double bed and not two twin beds, but still. This just reeks of intimacy Sasuke isn't ready to share, especially with a stranger. 

Sasuke closes the door still slightly blushing (and he can hear the famous “ku-ku-ku'' laughter), and decides to check the bathroom. There is just a bathtub and a sink, no washing machine or a dryer. There’s shaving cream and aftershave, some deodorant and a hairbrush on the shelf above the sink, and shampoo and shower gel in the corner of the bathtub - male, obviously, but there are also some female products. Not much, just a conditioner and a shampoo, an antiperspirant, and some fragrance in a pretty glass bottle. There are three toothbrushes by the sink - red, blue and a yellow one. Sasuke figures his roommate might have a girlfriend. 

-Doesss that mean you will sssleep in the sssame bed Foxxx hasss sssexxx in?-

There is immediately another thought now - if Lion didn't like him, and even after a decent conversation and a nice meal told him he would never be a part of them with a genuine warm smile on his face, how is Fox going to react…? Sasuke’s sure Fox must like Lion a lot, if he cooks for him, and is probably okay with Lion showing up in the middle of his flat out of nowhere like this. And another thing - Lion had no idea Sasuke was coming up here to live with Fox now, does Fox himself even know, he’s going to have a roommate? And what if there is where the playing and bullying starts? What if they are going to provoke Sasuke till he uses chakra in combat against them out of his traumas and fear, and maybe anger and frustration, what would happen then? ANBU members know Sasuke is useless now, he can't really fight, he can't defend himself, he can be easily bullied, ridiculed, made fun of by the entire ANBU block, maybe even all shinobi here. And if he does blow up and uses chakra he wasn't allowed to use, what will happen then? Are they going to put him in jail? Will they execute him? He will be forced to go through the ANBU-CONS interrogation or maybe even something worse, but he still can't leave, he can't prevent this from happening.  

He is going to suffer either way, he finally realizes. It doesn't matter if he stays in the village or leaves, he will suffer. 

And when he realizes there's an anxiety attack at the brim of his mind, he does what he’s always done - flees. He moves quickly and without thinking, and when his mind comes back, he realizes he’s… back home. 

Well, at the Uchiha compound’s ruins. The compound was already nearly a ruin when Sasuke was leaving the village, but after Pein’s attack, there’s not much left here. Most of the buildings are gone, there are ruins everywhere, and you can't see where the gardens, parks, or paths were any more. There’s just a memorial made of stone, a simple Uchiha crest and underneath it all the names Sasuke as well as Itachi hated - Fugaku and Mikoto listed first.

Sasuke breathes out. He reads through the names. He listens to the silence there. He takes in the fear, pain, frustration, hurt pride there still is, and as far as Sasuke remembers, always was. Even before the Massacre. 

He destroys the memorial with a single taijutsu move. The village owes nothing to the Uchihas. 

Chapter Text

“I wondered what your opinion on this will be,” a voice behind him says. 

Luckily, Ino seems a bit amused by what she probably saw Sasuke to do, rather than mad. 

“My apologies,” Sasuke closes his eyes - his Sharingan awakened by instinct. “I know I’m not supposed to -”

“I don't blame you,” Ino stops him but doesn't come closer. “Do you need a moment?” 

Sasuke turns around to see if she’s mocking him, but she’s perfectly serious. 

“I… don't know,” it seems honest, brutal truth is what works best for Ino and him, so he sticks to that. 

“Do you want to be alone?” 

“No,” he answers quickly. He’s embarrassed about it, but that’s the truth. He doesn't want to be left alone, and he appreciates Ino and her friendly approach. He feels safer when she’s around. And also a lot more stable. 

He had no idea how much damage his solitude caused to his already traumatized soul. (If he had any, that is.)

Ino comes a bit closer then. She doesn't seem surprised, but Sasuke is sure she is. She’s just so well-trained that when she doesn't want to, you won't know her emotions. She’s ANBU, after all. “I understand it can't be easy. Take your time.” 

Sasuke lowers his head. He actually wants to cry, he wants to - he just… it’s just like after seeing Naruto. He feels hollow.  

“Is there anything I need to do?” Sasuke asks after a while. His voice is even, but he can hear how empty he sounds. 

“I was… told to keep you company and act as your guide. You are expected to be by my side at most times, but I understand if you feel more comfortable alone - I understand dealing with things on your own is in your blood.” 

Sasuke feels sorry for her - he doesn't want her to waste time on him. He’s just a tool. He’s just a power to use. He doesn't deserve personality. “I don't want to be a bother, Ino.” 

She doesn't say anything, just stands there next to Sasuke and looks around. She hasn't been here since… well, the attack. This place used to be, about a decade ago, full of life and power, then full of death and bad memories, and now… it’s empty, mostly forgotten. There’s some bad energy here, that much she can tell, but other than that, this place should burn to the roots. 

“Are you intending to bring the old fame back?” She asks, as she watches one of the crests that used to be painted on the main door of each house. The door is now broken, laying on the ground on a pile of stone and other wood, mud, grass, leaves, and dust. 

“I’m here to bury those who are trying to,” he replies darkly. He’s thinking with anger about Madara, and with sorrow about his brother. 

Itachi said there’s about three, four years, that there’s still time. But judging by the state of his eyes and the fight they need to have with Madara and Zetsu and who knows what, he knows there’s no change Itachi will survive the war even if they win.

“Do you want to go in?” Ino suggests after a while of silence. 

Sasuke shakes his head. He doesn't think that’s a good idea. 

“Just so you know, you are still the owner of this place.” 

There is one more thing Sasuke wants to ask, but he’s sure he won't get an answer. “And my brother?” 

It surprised Ino, he can tell. Didn't she expect such a question…? “Your brother… never said he’d be interested in becoming a Konoha citizen again.” 

Sasuke nods. Truth be told, Itachi never told him he’s in contact with anyone in the village. But it seems he doesn't plan his future beyond taking Madara down. 

“Do you want to know what I do when I’m not feeling the best?” she asks after another while of silence. 

Sasuke does want to know. 

“I go to the Academy to scare some children. Are you joining me?” she says as she turns around to leave this graveyard. 

Sasuke doesn't know what to say. He knows he’s expected to politely decline, he isn't someone you want to show to the kids. What would you even tell them, babies, this is a nukenin who fled the village, and now he came back, while there’s a Snake in his body?

-I wanted to resssside in a sssstranger part of your body, but you don't sssseee me complaining, do you.- 

On the other side, he really doesn't want to be left alone. He swears to himself he will pay Ino back when he can. He immediately follows the Cougar and appreciates her silence on the walk back. This place is disturbing, and Sasuke shares her opinion. When they get to the Academy, Sasuke expects memories rushing in his mind, but he doesn't feel a thing. He didn't expect to feel this hollow, when he was planning on his return. 

Ino seems to go straight to the auditorium, and before they walk in there, she suddenly stops and tells him: “Actually, now that you are here… Can you get in without them noticing you, putting them in a mild genjutsu? Just remember they are barely gennins, don't show them anything too brutal, okay?” 

“I’m allowed to use chakra and Sharingan?” 

“For scaring purposes, yes,” Ino giggles as she looks at the door. “They are annoying brats.” 

Sasuke call tell based on that she loves the class. “Won't you get in trouble?” 

Ino waves her hand and rolls her eyes: “Naruto will understand.” 

Sasuke’s heart pangs at the name he hears. Nothing can awaken his emotions, but the love of his life. Is that what this mean the phrase “Uchihas only love once” mean? 

Chapter Text

Sasuke closes his eyes and focuses just fragments of his chakra to move his body where he needs it by a beautiful fire ninjutsu Itachi taught him. He appears from his head to his toes in firing ashes in front of the class as if from the shadows, with his eyes red, three tomoes swirling. He puts the class in genjutsu, making them feel like the room is suddenly dark, there’s just him, a shadow in front of them, with red swirling eyes and a dangerous aura around him. While the children are obviously confused and scared, Sasuke can study them for a while. There is a girl with Byakugan in her eyes and a boy with a dog on his desk. They are seated next to each other, too. Sasuke hopes he did well with the “scaring the children without causing severe trauma” thing. He can feel Ino smile behind him, which probably means a yes. 

When the kids realize they might be in danger, they assemble in formations, but that’s not what surprises Sasuke - the boys moved in front of the girls, and there are two boys right in front of him, obviously in the first line. Sasuke understands from this that those two would lead defence if needed. Which leads Sasuke to a simple conclusion - if they are ready, he might as well attack. He moves quickly, but not his full speed by far, and is surprised to see one of the kids, the smaller boy of those two who stood directly in front of him, the one with white hair and nearly as white eyes, is able to keep up with the Sharingan. Sasuke alters his genjutsu to appear at the other side of the class, then again to appear in the middle of them, but the white haired child is still with him. He moves with the same speed and reaches for the Hyuuga heir to try and take her away from the most guarded place up the auditorium, but right when he touches her shoulder, someone’s hand touches his cloak - the other boy, the one with black hair and disturbingly blue eyes. Sasuke spares the half a second to give them time he wouldn't just give to an actual enemy, and lets the white haired boy take the Hyuuga heir into his arms. By his frantic looking around, he’s searching for the easiest, shortest and safest way to the closest adult, or to a crowded place to announce there is an enemy in the village. 

Sasuke lets the boys win without knowing why. He retreats, falling into a bended-knee position behind Ino (a position he remembers ANBU do when their Captain calls them off), who simply unlocks the genjutsu without having to seal. “I feel like you didn't even try.” 

Sasuke keeps kneeling with his head bowed. He wasn't allowed to speak, or to introduce himself to the class. He clears his mind and body off the remains of chakra and waits for his Captain’s orders. Something warm spreads through his soul when he realizes how it felt to carry out the order of his Captain - it felt as if he belonged, as if he had a purpose. A feeling he didn't have for more than four years.

The kids by now realize this wasn't an attack, and finally notice their sensei. 

“Heyyy!” the white haired kid yells, Hyuuga still in his arms. “That wasn't nice of you, sensei!” 

The other boy, the black haired, blue-eyed one, rolls his eyes when he says: “That wasn't Ino-sensei who cast the genjutsu, idiot.” 

“Don't call me an idiot in front of our sensei, arsehole!” the white haired one yells, and then finally sets the Hyuuga girl on her feet. She’s small and obviously blushing, and Sasuke can tell she likes the white haired boy, but there’s something else that interests him. It actually twitched his feelings because… doesn't he know this behaviour from somewhere? Doesn't the “idiot” and “arsehole” sound familiar? Didn't the entire situation, the entire “I will fight to death with you if we are attacked, but in our free time, we pretend we hate each other for fun” ring a bell? 

Sasuke is, for a reason unknown to him, embarrassed. 

-Unknown reasssson, you ssssay now…?-

The boys, these two soon to be shinobi, are exactly like the copies of him and Naruto when they were still friends. It makes Sasuke feel multiple things at the same time - he’s sad, mourning for his own loss, he’s jealous of what they still have, but he also desperately needs them to realize what do they have in one another just to make sure they won't end up making the same mistakes as he did, and Naruto did, too. 

“I wouldn't have to, if you were smarter,” the black haired boy snickers, while the white eyed one yells: “Well you have to be smart, if you are slow and weak!” 

Which of course pisses the black haired boy, who obviously is an egoist, but he’s also very strict on himself. There are too many similarities for Sasuke not to project. He’s not even sorry about it; embarrassed, indeed, but not sorry. 

“I’m nearly as fast as you, I’m just taller!” 

“No, you are just fat!”

Sasuke can tell Ino is enjoying this show, those two seem to provide regular entertainment for the entire class, and while Sasuke is projecting, he realizes he and Naruto didn't talk this much. Yes, these two are arguing, maybe they are even yelling, but Sasuke can tell… they are yelling things at each other because they communicate , they know things about each other because they have regular conversations. 

The thing is, Sasuke knew everything about his best friend, but he declined Naruto any knowledge about himself back, therefore when they argued, Sasuke could aim where it hurt while Naruto never really knew Sasuke enough to fire words at him the same way back. It wasn't fair at all, but Naruto still at that time tried and went out of Sasuke’s way to make him feel comfortable, probably hoping that once in the future, they might be as close as those two kids are. Because Sasuke always knew it’s his own fault he won't let the blond as close as he would genuinely like to, he also knew they can never maintain a strong enough relationship before Sasuke copes with his childhood traumas, or at least accepts he has any to be able to start healing, and maybe then… 

He watches the children and realizes the class is at ease. Then he looks up to see… there’s no real fire in their actions. They argue because that’s their way to cope with the built-up adrenalin in their bodies after Sasuke’s pretended attack, but they… don't mean it. They don't argue to hurt each other, they just pretend they argue to… to avoid hurting each other. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke realizes this is very smart, and adult-like, and that it actually might be helpful in these situations. 

“They are amazing, right?” Ino giggles silently. “I sometimes take my lunch here.” 

“Well, maybe so, but at least I’m not a dwarf.” 

“A dwarf who was able to beat you in basketball.” 

“That was an accident!” 

“Like I said, you are fat and slow!”

“You are tiny and stupid!” 

“Arrogant arsehole!” 

“Idiot!”

“If you are so smart, then who cast the genjutsu, huh?!” the white eyed boy yells.

“I don't know who he is!” the other one screams. 

“H-he?” the white eyed one suddenly stops their argument and finally turns around to see the room. His eyes find Sasuke’s kneeling form right behind their sensei, who is laughing out loud now. 

She claps her hands a few times, obviously in a wonderful mood. “Hello, class, lovely afternoon. Rainmaru, Aoki, you understood the situation quickly and formed a defence, great teamwork. Congratulations on understanding this was just an illusion genjutsu while the attacker was real. Fast thinking, you’ve become excellent at your speed and Aoki, great distraction. Hatori, perfect at understanding what is the attacker’s plan, Rainmaru had enough time to protect you. I hope you aren't injured, my boy,” she smiled at the Byakugan. 

Bo-boy…? Sasuke looks closer and realizes that yes, Hatori Hyuuga, is indeed… a boy. Ah. That makes things (he looks at the white-eyed boy, Rainmaru) interesting. Wait - Hyuuga sees chakra points and chakra directions, yes. But how does Byakugan correlate with the ability to know someone’s plan…? Is there something else Sasuke didn't catch?

“I actually didn't need Hatori to tell me he’s the target of the enemy,” Rainmaru says, and Sasuke is now really confused. The child didn't say a thing while he attacked. “It was obvious.” 

Sasuke wasn't hiding that fact, yes. He actually made sure the kids know where his demonic eyes looked. 

“Stop bragging,” Aoki snickers. 

He’s watching Sasuke as if he guessed who he was. Sasuke doesn't blame them, the kids can't recognize him, there’s no Uchiha left in the village. 

“This is… Sharingan, isn't it,” Aoki says after a while. 

Rainmaru, who was actually just about to start arguing with his teammate about who is bragging, but with this remark, his attention diverted back to the enemy in their class. “That… must mean you are an Uchiha.” 

That causes silence in the class. Ino decides to let the situation unravel - she trusts Sasuke to be polite, and she knows the kids aren't stupid. Sasuke looks up to Ino, he needs instructions, but she only gestures for him to get up. If he wants to tell the class who he is, he can. If he wants to leave, the door is that way. Sasuke never felt so much freedom as he feels in this exact moment - he can decide on his own what to do. 

“I am Uchiha Sasuke.” 

A second of silence, and then the entire class gasps and starts talking at the same time: “Sasuke - the Sasuke? - Sasuke ”. The loudest is, of course, Rainmaru. “We know all of your adventures!”

Sasuke raises a single brow. Adventures…? What does the kid mean? Him, leaving for Orochimaru? His eyes find Aoki, who seems calmer, and hopes for an explanation, but the kids start telling him on their own. 

“You are the one who saved the Princess of Fire!” he hears the girls. 

“You and Naruto-sensei fought the Suna Hyenas!”

“Naruto-sensei got lost in the Cataly Labyrinth, and you came back and helped him!”

“Naruto-sensei got trapped in by samurais, and you answered all three questions of their palace, and then you fought the master samurai with kenjutsu, even if noone taught you! You saved Naruto-sensei that day!”

“You saved everyone in the Haunted house, even Ino-sensei and Kiba-san!” another kid says. 

“We heard about the lost Nephrite Cat!” Rainmaru laughs, and the entire class laughs too. Sasuke realizes the kids are talking about Team 7 and the missions they took. Nephrite Cat, Sasuke then remembers - yes, that one was… he lightly smirks remembering how close they were, back then.  

“My favourite is the one you saved Naruto-sensei from Zabuza and Haku,” Aoki says, slow and silent, while his peers are talking and whispering, but he’s still heard. 

Naruto-sensei, hn, Sasuke’s mind slows for a second. Naruto-sensei. Sasuke’s cheek would go pink four years ago. Today, he gently smiles at the memory. Yes, it’s his favourite, too. 

Sasuke looks back at Ino, but she only smiles. She’s leaning against the wall, and it doesn't seem like she wants to intervene in their conversation. For some reason, Sasuke is expected to talk to these kids. “That was a dangerous mission,” he tells the class cautiously. 

The kids immediately calm down, stop whispering to each other and just sit there in complete silence, obviously waiting to hear more, judging by the big eyes focused on him. Sasuke is used to the pitiful looks he got from the village when he was a child, jealous ones from the boys, admiring ones from girls. The way these kids look at him feels completely different; they just want to hear a good story that would make their hero, Naruto-sensei, a bit more human, or even more heroic. Sasuke doesn't know what example Naruto gives, what kind of sensei he is - or rather was, before he was forced to take over the office, therefore he decides to use what he knows about the job of a spy: make them think you are the one who tells the story, but actually, let them tell you the story you want to hear. 

Sasuke is a great spy. 

“Did Naruto-sensei tell you it was supposed to be our first mission outside the village?” 

“Yes!” the kids tell him excitedly. 

“He told us you were Team 7!” 

“And he told us that you two hated each other!” Rainmaru, of all people, laughs. 

Sasuke looks at Aoki to see exactly what he expected; the kid rolled his ice blue eyes. Sasuke guessed right, then. Aoki is aware of his feelings towards the annoying kid. 

“We were both strong, talented and already promising shinobi, and we both had great expectations from each other. That’s why it was usually hard for us to get along,” Sasuke explains. 

There’s a short silence before Rainmaru, peculiarly calmly says: “That’s not what Naruto-sensei told us.” 

“And what did he tell you?” Sasuke makes sure to stay unwary, calm - he doesn't want to scare or stress the kids. 

“That you… hated each other with passion, because - because - because -” 

“Because Naruto-sensei used to be stupid, and you were arrogant,” Aoki finishes, seeing Rainmaru is blushing and obviously unwilling to speech such words about his hero. 

“Is that so,” Sasuke smiles softly, obviously surprising the kids. “I used to tell him that, yes. I used to call him stupid to make sure he tries better, and he called me an idiot to remind me we are a team, and that I’m not supposed to do everything by myself. Which was the point of our team, but it took me years before I realized what is our sensei teaching us in the first place. Because when I was in Academy, and then in a gennin team, I refused to… count on other people. I only saw power and fame, and that isn't an honourable thing to do.”

The class is now even more focused, and something in their eyes changed. Sasuke realized he’s talking about himself way too much, and he needs to switch focus. The kids aren't here to hear his story. They want to know more about Naruto as a child. 

“So you… hated each other, but you didn't. Not really,” Rainmaru says after a while, and Aoki doesn't speak a word, doesn't even look up, but Sasuke can guess the slight blush on his cheeks. And he’s sure that Rainmaru might be a little slower in this, just like Naruto was, but that doesn't mean he’s stupid. He’s just… well, who knows. Maybe he just proceeds things differ-

“Exactly like me and Ao!” Rainmaru yells, runs to his best friend’s seat and hugs the black haired kid. 

-ently. 

...Ah, Sasuke raises a single brow. Okay. 

“We argue, and yell, and call each other mean words, but we don't really mean it, right?” Rainmaru yells in Aoki’s ear. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke watches them without a word for a while, and then realizes… maybe he was wrong. He’s been telling himself that at the time he left the village four years ago, he genuinely had no idea how strong his feelings for Naruto really were. He kept telling himself that he actually found out what the blond means to him many months into his solitude - but now that he’s watching Aoki not-really trying to get away from Rainmaru and his squishy hug, he realizes that… 

He was wrong. 

All the time, he was - there were moments like this, too, when Naruto suddenly touched him and Sasuke just wished for more, but on the outside pretended how much he hates Naruto’s attention, and how much the blond annoys him. And on the occasions Naruto hugged him, properly hugged him, Sasuke never wanted it to end, no matter how he rolled his eyes and muttered how disgusting and annoying Naruto was. 

When he looks back and realizes all the repressed feelings were not only hate and rage and sadness and mental illnesses and issues and traumas, but also… this. Also, his feelings for Naruto. His... love for Naruto. 

“I hate you so much,” Aoki deadpans while trying to get away from his friend’s arms. 

It was always there. Right from the start. 

-Sssssurprissse, sssssurprisssse.-

“You don't mean it,” Rainmaru laughs and squeezes Aoki a bit more. 

Aoki doesn't even pretend he’s trying to get away any more. He at least tries to look as if he’s annoyed, but Sasuke knows he isn't. If Rainmaru is aware or not, Sasuke honestly can't guess. Maybe the white haired kid has his friend all figured. Maybe he’s got no idea. Maybe he’s in denial about the true feelings, too. 

And maybe Rainmaru is just like Naruto and shows friendship in touches that will never be anything else than that: friendly, non-sexual and non-romantic. Just the kind of person Naruto and maybe Rainmaru, too, is. 

“Naruto-sensei told us you two were always fighting,” Hatori Hyuuga says in such a cute voice, Sasuke once again mistakes him for a girl. “And he also said that you usually won, Sasuke-san.” 

Sasuke-san…? The youngest Uchiha’s mind stops there for a while. He doesn't think he deserves such an honorary title from the kids, but also, this is probably a Hyuuga heir. Doesn't he know Uchihas and Hyuugas aren't on friendly terms…? 

But then the Snake in his mind reminds him: - There isss no Uchiha resssiding in thissss village any more .- 

“We were always competing with each other,” Sasuke explains. “I had it much easier. I was a kekkei genkai user, therefore a lot of what I knew was given to me. And when I was young, my brother taught me a lot of things Naruto-sensei couldn't know simply because there was noone who would teach him.”

Now that makes the kids calm down, and even Rainmaru stops choking his best friend in a tight hug. 

“Naruto-sensei probably told you he lost his parents, isn't that right?” 

“Yes,” Ranimaru speaks first, suddenly sad. It seems that with his sadness, the entire class is now sad too and Sasuke panics - he didn't want this to happen, he didn't want the kids to cry! “He told us. Minato-sama died protecting the village, and Naruto. And Kushina-san was murdered right after Naruto-sensei was born.” 

Sasuke didn't want that, c’mon! He shoots a panicked look at Ino, but she isn't showing any signs of joining their conversation. Sasuke is alone in this. 

“Y-yes. He… was very brave. Ever since we were children. I had it easy, I never had to study and practise as much as Naruto-san did, because of my inherited Sharingan and also because I had people who always helped me. But Naruto-san didn't have any kekkei genkai, and he wasn't a part of a big clan to have people to help him learn, so he had to work hard on his own. Everything he’s learned he did to become better, to be able to protect the people he loved,” he looks back at Ino, who is smiling at him now.

The kids seem to be calmer now, not at the verge of tears. Sasuke releases a sigh of relief. That was close.

“Naruto-sensei told us that he used to annoy you a lot,” Rainmaru remembers, already in a better mood. “That he always forced you to spend time with him, and you never wanted to.” 

Well. That’s not the truth either, is it. 

“We… Naruto-sensei is always happy to spend time with people. When we were children, he spent most time with Sakura-san and me. Of course, he wanted to spend time with his friends,” Sasuke hopes he can dodge the question, but of course he can't. 

“Naruto-san says you were annoyed by his presence, but you were a great team and teamwork was what kept you alive, despite never making it to friends,” Aoki joins the conversation, and he seems slightly annoyed. “But you say you were friends who respected each other, and despite having different personalities, you cared deeply about each other.” 

...Sasuke doesn't like where the annoyingly smart kid is going with this. 

“But then… you and Naruto-san destroyed the Valley of the End, and you left the village. How are we supposed to understand that?” 

Sasuke doesn't like the kid. He’s way too smart for his age. 

“That is a long story.” 

There's complete silence in the class. He turns around and hopes he can leave now, but Ino isn't moving, she doesn't look at all that she wants him out of the auditorium, or that she’s taking over the lecture. Upon seeing his helpless face, she nods towards the class. Yup, Sasuke’s alone in this. 

He never guessed he will be standing in front of a class of kids, expected to talk to them, to lead and raise them. He would never consider himself an example good enough to even tell some stories of his life to anyone, let alone kids. He understands this is just another part of interrogation, and just because he doesn't understand the purposes doesn't mean Ino and her supervisors don't have it all planned out. In the end, they knew he’s coming back. 

“We have time,” Aoki says after a while of silence. 

Sasuke never imagined he’d be expected one day to talk about his reasons, and his fight for Naruto.

“Tell us what happened?” Rainmaru asks, and it sounds like a plea. He still looks a bit sad, and Sasuke doesn't want the kids to be even… 

The Uchiha must look at loss, because Ino moves and whispers: “You don't have to.” 

That calms the young prodigy. He doesn't have to tell, but if he wants to, he has the option. Yes, he can stay silent and keep it a secret. He can disappoint the young kids, and also Ino, and don't say a word. Or, he can lie. 

But that’s not the person he decided to be in this village. And if one of these kids will remember him, twenty, thirty years forward, when they have their own kids and own lives, Sasuke doesn't want to be remembered as a liar. There was enough of them in the history of Leaf. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke gently leans against the teacher’s desk, and as he does, Ino sits down behind him, the kids calm down, lean into their chairs and seem to be ready to hear a story Sasuke isn't even sure how to tell. 

“I… have to insist, Naruto-san is my dearest friend,” he starts, looking Aoki in the eye because he can't turn around and talk directly to Ino, who wants to hear the story the most - she’s reporting every single word he says to her supervisors, after all. 

“If he really is,” Aoki’s tone is getting colder. “How comes you nearly killed him in Valley of the End?” 

“Aoki!” Rainmaru tries to hush his best friend.

“He nearly killed me too,” Sasuke says slowly because the kids need to know Naruto was strong, and Sasuke didn't win the fight. He lost it, that’s the point of the story, and his life. 

Aoki doesn't seem to be relieved at his statement. “The question still stands.” 

“Friends… sometimes fight,” Sasuke decides to try from the other point of view. “But that doesn't mean they aren't friends any more.” 

“My best friend and I fight all the time. But never have we ever used forbidden techniques and kekkei genkai, actively trying to kill the other.” 

Sasuke is saved by the tornado that runs through the class again in the form of Rainmaru, who hugs his friend so tight and so quick, Aoki actually makes a strangling noise. “I KNEW WE ARE BEST FRIENDS AND YOU ARE JUST SAYING YOU’LL MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP ONE DAY!” Rainmaru screams happily, as he nuzzles Aoki’s face.

Yup, Sasuke concludes. This kid is all Naruto. He would smile at the affection and the strength of their friendship, if Aoki didn't look him dead in the eyes. It’s obvious the debate isn't over. (Sasuke also decides that the way Aoki gently taps Rainmaru’s hand to stop strangling him, and Rainmaru mumbles an apology but won't let his friend go, only moves his arm down right under Aoki’s collarbone, but keeps hugging him tightly, is rather intimate, and Aoki seems content with that. He doesn't hug Rainmaru back, but his posture says it clearly: I’m happy you are giving me attention and affection, you mean the world to me, I’m just traumatized and don't know how exactly am I supposed to react. Aoki doesn't even try to get away from his friend this time, and sits quietly and calmly, without moving, while Rainmaru is affectionately cuddling into the crook of his neck. Sasuke finds it extremely endearing.) 

“Naruto-san and I… we were always strong headed, and stubborn. I didn't want to understand his reasons, and he refused to understand mine. We didn't fight to kill each other, it started as an argument, and escalated quickly.” 

“What was the argument about?” one of the girls asks. 

“I… needed to leave the village,” Sasuke answered honestly. 

“Why?!” the class asks in unison, including Aoki. 

“Why did you want to leave your friend? How could you leave him here?” 

Aoki’s questions are sad, accusing, but the question Rainmaru asks is literally heartbreaking: “Was Naruto-sensei not good enough for you?” 

The class keeps talking and asking questions for a while, but Sasuke doesn't really listen to them, he only focuses on Rainmaru and Aoki. Rainamru looks scared, sad, when asking such a question, and Aoki immediately reaches for his biceps and squeezes, looking into his eyes, demanding Rainmaru to look back at him. It’s such an intimate moment, such an emotionally withdrawing second, Sasuke forgets he needs air to stay alive. All he sees is Rainmaru fully realizing how much his best friend means to him, how much he sees Aoki and himself in the story of Sasuke and Naruto, how aware he actually is. And then Aoki looks down to Rainmaru’s lips and up to his eyes, while Rainmaru reaches up and touches Aoki’s fingers on his bicep. 

Noone notices but Sasuke, and maybe Ino, too. Sasuke feels as if speaking from the next room, when he answers Rainmaru’s question: “Of course he was good enough for me. He was the only reason I needed to leave.” 

“That doesn't make any sense,” one of the boys says. 

“Yeah, why would you leave your best friend… because of the best friend?” a brunette girl in third row asks. 

Sasuke looks at Aoki - he’s the only one who seems to sense there’s something else behind this sentence, and the only one who’s silent - actually… Rainmaru is silent too. For someone like him, that seems disturbing. He’s watching Sasuke, and after a while he looks at his own best friend. He seems to be evaluating his reasons to ever leave Aoki, how important, dangerous, desperate and hard of a decision that would be. 

He’s not wrong. 

The truth is, if… if he’d be allowed to talk to Dog, he might say this all in four words or fewer. But like this, facing kids, he was forced to be eloquent and concrete. Leaving vague hints is not an option, because these kids aren't here to listen to some figurative speech, and they won't let him just imagine and guess half of it. He has to say it simply and gently, and that’s a thing he never considered in his life - simple, gentle and considerate were not attributes expected of Uchiha’s life. 

Sasuke starts to explain his reasons the only logical way.

“Sometimes you have to make a decision that you need to, albeit don't want to,” Sasuke explains. “Naruto-san was a child when I left, barely older than you. He wasn't a proper shinobi, and he wasn't as strong as he is today - I knew even back then he will become a hero, and I always knew he will become the strongest of us all - he was destined to be the next Hokage, after all.” 

“But it was taking too long, wasn't it,” Rainmaru whispers in realization. 

Aoki turns his head to face his best friend, but Rainmaru is staring into his lap, head down, eyes calm. He’s not sad, just… it’s just a simple truth, said with complete honesty. 

Aoki meet’s Sasuke’s eyes, and the nukenin doesn't have to say a small “yes” for the class to understand. “I saw the Akatsuki members fight the shinobi of Leaf. Akatsuki always won. Every time. Senseis’ lives were spared only because of my brother. If he wasn't there, some of my teachers and some of yours… might not be here today.” 

Rainmaru looks up behind Sasuke, and Sasuke too checks back to see Ino’s face. She’s serious, but still seems approving of what he says to the kids, because she doesn't stop him, and doesn't intervene in the conversation. She is probably remembering how Guy, Asuma, Anko, Shikamaru, Kakashi, she herself, and later even the skillest of them all, the ANBU commander and his elite team of ANBU lost their battles against various members of Akatsuki, including Itachi. 

“Naruto-san won! He killed Sasori and Deidara!” 

Well. Sasori decided to die. Not even when Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi and Suna shinobi united had a chance against him, if he really wanted to kill them. But Naruto is a negotiator, and he’s good in politics, that’s why he’s amazing in this job and perfect for the Hokage position, so Sasori deciding to end his life might really be Naruto's doing, then. But Deidara…? Yes, the fight is famous, it’s the one Naruto became the most famous for - he saved the entire land of Fire after all, but if Orochimaru is right, and the Snake tends to be, Deidara is alive and well, getting ready for his revenge. 

-You can be ssssuch a pleasssant boy!- 

Sasuke offers a half-smile: “Indeed. But that was nearly three years later.” 

“You needed to leave to find someone else to teach you how to be strong, when your senseis failed you,” Aoki says, watching Sasuke. 

“They didn't fail me,” Uchiha insists. But yes, he used to think that, too. That senseis, the village, everyone, failed him. “I didn't leave because my senseis were not teaching me quickly enough, or that they were not teaching me everything they should.” 

But he used to think that, too. He used to say Kakashi to teach him more, quicker, steadier - but he wasn't ready for it, either. Sasuke overestimated himself quite often, when he took residence with Orochimaru. He frequently suffered from chakra suspension, he regularly blacked out, he often damaged his inner organs or veins or cells by chakra and his lack of proper care about himself. 

Chapter Text

“Then why did you leave?” another girls asks. 

Sasuke isn't sure how to explain it. He actually never thought about it in such a detailed way. It’s feelings rather than reasons, and he never liked questions “why”. Itachi told him it was because he as well as Itachi got punished by Fugaku, when they asked why. Itachi was later tortured for questions he wasn't supposed to ask. Their father loved denying Itachi sleep, and on mission forced him to spend all his chakra to be left suffering for days from withdrawal. That was just pieces and bits of what Itachi told him about their “family”. Sasuke didn't have any mercy or sorrow for the clan he once wanted to avenge. 

Sasuke looks up, trying to clear his mind of the thoughts of his brother, so used to suffering, pain, trauma, withdrawals - caused by leading members of the Uchiha clan, mostly by Fugaku. Sasuke would murder him with passion then, too, if he knew what was happening behind the closed doors of his father’s study, especially if Itachi was in there with him. 

“ You told me once,” Sasuke dared to ask one time, when he was having a picnic lunch with his brother, around thirty-six months into his solitude. “That you were about to get married.” 

Itachi offered the last remaining dango to his younger sibling, and even though Sasuke wanted to accept because he genuinely started to like sweets since Itachi’s presence in his life became a steady, calming reality, he refused it for his brother’s benefit. And Itachi, who watched his younger sibling with more than just curiosity, must have realized it, too. Maybe that’s why his cheeks went slightly pink, when he took the dango and slowly ate it. After that, he answered uneasily: “The marriage wasn't as important as another heir.” 

Sasuke refused to understand what exactly that meant. 

“ He couldn't force you to -!” 

“ He could,” Itachi reminds him a bit coldly. “As a leader, he could force me. And he did.” 

“ Did you…” 

Itachi lies down into the warm grass. This fall is the warmest he remembers. His Akatsuki robes were folded and put aside when he arrived here to have a comfortable lunch. Sasuke stays where he is, sitting with his legs folded, obviously focused on his brother and the fact that he was forced at the age of what, twelve, thirteen? to… reproduce. 

“ She was… beautiful, a bit older than me. There was a contract with her family already, that our marriage is official, and we were supposed to have a child. I was… I… Uchihas only…ever love once, Sasuke.” 

“ I know,” the younger boy heard himself answer silently. 

He felt such a strong need to just cuddle his older brother to himself,  hide him, protect him from the awful world they live in, and never let him suffer. Ever. 

“ It was… horrible, but I… I should have done it,” Itachi leans his head away from Sasuke, obviously embarrassed. “I knew what I was supposed to do. I knew - I just.”

Sasuke couldn't even imagine the situation. His brother, obviously in love with someone, and above that a shy, gentle, and timid soul, was forced to do something this intimate at such a young age, and he was still forced to… by his own father!?!

“ I wasn't able to go through that procedure, I didn't… I tried to force myself, but I didn't… my body wasn't really listening to me. But even after that, I should have done it. I should, because then it was...” Itachi whispered into the grass. 

Sasuke’s eyes fill with tears. He can imagine his brother, young, desperate, in love, not wanting this, hating just the mere idea of what is happening, but still understanding there’s no other way, that he has to do it. Sasuke didn't know if he’s going to cry or vomit. Probably both. 

“ So you didn't…” Sasuke doesn't have the balls to ask ‘so you didn't actually have sex with her’. 

Itachi isn't strong enough to talk about it, so he turns his head to look at his sibling, and he can see the tears in his eyes. Itachi’s sad smile is the last thing Sasuke saw before he noticed his eyes were swirling, and suddenly there was no picnic, no sunny day, and no glade they were on with their lunch. 

He was in a dark room, and when the darkness with just some light from the outside settled, Sasuke recognized Itachi’s old room, but he also realized he can't look where he wants to. ‘A memory,’ Sasuke realized, while he was inching closer to Itachi’s old bed. ‘He’s showing me… the memory he has of that night’. Sasuke focuses on what he sees. There’s a body on the bed. It’s a girl, Sasuke recognizes. He also recognizes he sees the memory directly through Itachi’s eyes, but he doesn't recognize any feelings in him, any emotions. Itachi must have forgotten them by choice, Sasuke assumes. Itachi’s body is shaking when he climbs the bed. The girl is awake, obviously waiting for him. She’s not naked at least, she has a -, oh, the girl sits up and takes off the last piece of clothing she had on herself. She is naked now, sitting in front of Itachi’s thirteen years old body. Sasuke can feel Itachi taking off his pants. He looks down because Itachi did at that time, and sees his cock is completely soft. Sasuke curses in his mind, and he wants to hug this Itachi, wrap a blanket around him, and lead him out of the room, run away from the fucked up clan he grew up in - 

Itachi takes himself into his hand and tries to… jerk off, but it’s obvious it’s not helping. The girl on the bed looks at least as shy as Itachi, but after a while, she raises her hand and touches his brother’s penis. Itachi jerks away from the touch, and she flinches, but Itachi quickly apologizes to her with an embarrassed whisper: “I’m...Sorry, nervous.” 

She seems to understand. Itachi inches closer to her on his knees, and she lies back down. Sasuke wants to close his eyes in hope Itachi won't have to go through this, but he can’t. He has to see what Itachi was forced to see, and he can't do anything about it.  Itachi is holding his hopelessly soft cock and tries to penetrate the girl. It takes a while, and he can feel Itachi wants to cry, wants to run away - but he won't do it. He has to follow through. This was an order, he’s a soldier, he’s ninja, he’s the heir to Uchiha, he has to listen to orders. He will decide about his own heir one day. Sasuke tries in his mind to reach for Itachi and pull him to himself, pull him away from this nightmare - but he couldn't. He was trapped in this memory, and only the castor of this jutsu could release him. That is the point of Mangekyou. Sasuke forces his inner barriers up, but not even those help shielding him from emotionally connecting with poor thirteen-years-old Itachi. 

Some things are just traumatizing without any kekkei genkai, and it doesn't matter if you are a ninja, or civilian. 

Sasuke can guess it, the moment Itachi’s soft penis penetrates her. She releases a soft sound, and it's obvious she’s uncomfortable. “I’m sorry,” Itachi apologizes again. 

Sasuke can feel tears on the cheeks that aren't his. His brother, his strong, perfect brother… is crying. Itachi tries to move in the girl, in and out, his tears fall on the naked body of the girl, and on the pillow under her head. In and out, just small moves to prevent him from slipping away - but he is as far from hard as possible, so of course his soft, still not even adult cock slips out of her. That’s the point where Itachi apologizes for the last time, takes his robe and flees the room. 

Sasuke hopes this is the end.

But of course it’s not. 

Chapter Text

Right after he flees the room, someone catches him - an adult, male. A strong, male hand catches Itachi’s arm and nearly breaks it by the force. Sasuke wants to scream to let go, his brother is crying, just please, let him go!!! But the male spits angrily at Itachi: “Unbelievable, can't even fuck a girl right. Useless fucking kid.” 

Uchiha Fugaku. The one holding Itachi with such strength it hurt, and aggressively whispering such profanities to his teenage son, was Uchiha Fugaku . Sasuke wasn't sure it was him, he didn't really recognize his father’s voice since Fugaku rarely spoke in his younger son’s presence, but it was obvious from the way he handled Itachi further, that the male was indeed Itachi’s father. 

“ I served the girl on a silver plate for you,” he swept Itachi from his feet by his single arm, nearly pulling his shoulder by doing so, and dragged/carried him somewhere. Itachi was crying, he seemed desperate, scared, embarrassed, hurt, but he didn't really try to get away from his father. He knew it would probably cause more damage anyway. “And you were not even able to get it up, let alone to get your seed in her.” 

Sasuke winced at his words, and he didn't really like what was going on - where was Fugaku taking his brother…? Sasuke thought he is going to take him back to the girl to personally supervise their sex, but no. Fugaku was taking his brother in the other direction, rammed into his study and closed the door with such force behind them the house shook. He stood Itachi down on the floor, and tore away his clothes. 

That was the moment Sasuke knew something went very, very wrong that night.

That was also the first time Itachi realized he might try to flee, and he did try, but of course Fugaku caught him before Itachi managed to move. What happened after Sasuke never wanted to know: Fugaku took his naked son by his soft penis, squeezed it hard, and at the same time he spanked his bottom, with full force. Itachi jerked away, but that only pulled on his sensitive cock. His father smirked and tugged so hard on it Itachi whimpered. Itachi was forced to stand and not move, Fugaku was holding, squeezing, hurting his cock, while spanking his bottom full power at least twenty times, until Itachi was crumbling down to a crying, whimpering, suffering mess. Fugaku decided his son had enough, so he let his limp penis go. Sasuke in Itachi’s body fell to the floor, and cried harder, curling into himself, which only enraged the Uchiha leader more. 

“ Get up!” he yelled at his son. Itachi didn't immediately get up, and Sasuke could feel how desperate Itachi was, how much he wanted to… be gone, at that moment, even when there were no real emotions in Itachi to feel. Sasuke is glad he forgot them, or forced himself to forget them. 

“ Fucking pussy,” Fugaku let out angrily, as he himself took Itachi by his arm and pulled him upright. Fugaku slapped him across his face, and Itachi tried to stop crying, but it wasn't as easy, so Fugaku slapped him again, and again. Itachi didn't stop crying, but Sasuke could feel the blood on his tongue. Itachi bit through his tongue, lips, and inner cheeks to stop making noises. He couldn't stop the tears rolling out of his eyes, but he was silent, and that was enough for the tyrant. 

“ When I tell you,” the monster said then, his voice still angry and firm, and he was looking into Itachi’s eyes, into Sasuke’s eyes now during this memory, “that you are to put your cock in the girl’s pussy and release your seed inside, you do exactly that, understand me?!”

Itachi nodded. Sasuke felt a slight hope in Itachi, hope that he can get a second chance, he can get back into the room and get the girl pregnant just like his father told him to do. But this was Uchiha Fugaku. He didn't give second chances. 

“ You could have good, easy sex,” Fugaku tells him, angry, but not as dangerous as before, when he sits into his working chair and pulls Itachi by his hips to seat him onto his table right in front of himself. Sasuke for half a second hoped… Fugaku realized he was stupidly aggressive about it, that he will do exactly what Sasuke wants to do now - wrap Itachi in a blanket, and get him out of that room, give him a soothing bath, treat his sore bum, put him into his bed, sing to him, maybe tell him a story, and just stay there, gently touching him, caressing his hair or braiding it, or just holding his hand, making sure the kid is okay. 

But of course, that didn't happen. Fugaku put the naked child to sit on his table, legs apart, so Fugaku had easy access to… Sasuke wants to close his eyes, but he can't. Itachi's eyes were wide open, not believing what his father would do. 

“ I have to do everything alone here,” Fugaku mumbled and took Itachi’s soft cock into his hard, dry, cold hand. He pulled on it, squeezed it, he was harsh and quick and Itachi didn't like it. It was rough, and it ached, and Sasuke could faintly feel more and more blood in Itachi’s mouth. Sasuke was sure his real body, the one sitting on the grass next to Itachi, was crying now. When Itachi didn't get hard after a minute, Fugaku went berserk. “You want it the hard way, don't you?! Why are you so stubborn?! You know I’ll always get what I want, stupid kid!!”

Sasuke didn't want to know what that means. Itachi was still crying, but seeing his father handing him aggressively and promising even worse did not have any calming effect on the teenager. Fugaku reached somewhere under the table, and with brutal, unnecessary force he turned Itachi around. Itachi was now kneeling on the table on all fours, his… his bottom close to Fugaku’s angry body, his face on the cold, hard table. Fugaku stood up and said angrily: “I wanted to be nice to you, remember you ruined it yourself.” 

And with that, something cold, hard, dry, and quite big entered Itachi’s tight hole all at once, without warning, without any prep, without lube. The pain was excruciating, yes, but the embarrassment, the hopelessness, the anger and fear and just stress from this evening were much worse. And his father, going as far as this for getting what he wanted - that took Sasuke’s entire idea of a “family” to grave. This was no father, and that clan was no family. 

Fugaku was a dark, dangerous, horrible monster. Why was he torturing his child, when he could just wait a bit, and Itachi would deliver the outcome himself, given the option? He would… he’d need some time alone to provide the sperm to impregnate the girl with, there were other ways to achieve what Fugaku wanted, and Itachi knew it,  - Sasuke knew it too, but Fugaku was like a mad bull. There was nothing that would stop him. He decided getting his son’s sperm the most inhuman way possible, was his goal for this evening, and he was psychopathic enough to try and brutally jerk his child off. And when that didn't help, he stuck an anal toy into his oldest son, with force and aggressiveness that he’s so used to. Itachi was crying, and he was biting on his tongue not to let too many sounds out, but he still whimpered, when the thing in him jerkily moved in and out, causing more and more pain, eventually drawing blood. After a second, Fugaku took hold of Itachi’s soft cock again. “I know you are perverted like this, and I know you like it. Make it quick, I don't have the time for you.” 

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears and eyes, he was shocked, terrified, disgusted by this thing he once proudly called father. This monster was not even human, let alone a father. 

Itachi closed his eyes and Sasuke found it worse. He felt Itachi’s body suffering a terrible pain, he also felt Fugaku’s frustration growing, but biology isn't something made up on paper, so of course after a while there was a bit of success. When Itachi reached an erection from being anally stimulated, which is pure biology, and it has nothing to do with sexual pleasure, Fugaku snickered. And when Itachi without ever even nearing orgasm provided the sperm Fugaku wanted him to, the clan leader pulled the anal toy away from his son with force. Itachi fell onto his face and stomach, crying out in pain. Sasuke could feel the tear in Itachi’s hole, and the blood that was coming out of it. Fugaku took the bowl Itachi came into, and with a jaundiced voice and stoic face, he told his son: “You disgust me.” 

Fugaku left the room open for anyone coming by to see the mess Itachi was left in. Blood, saliva, some leftover sperm, tears. The robes on the floor, Itachi’s naked body curled on Fugaku’s table, the anal toy laying on display next to his shaking body, so it would be visible from the open door. At least ten different people went by the study, saw the heir, some of them stopped by the door for a moment, made sure to take a look, see it all properly, maybe memorize it, and then with a silent whisper of disgust or a laughter left. Noone helped him. Noone thought what Fugaku did was worth a death sentence. 

Sasuke did. 

When the memory ended, Sasuke was staring into Itachi’s black, sad, soulless eyes. 

Second, two, three. 

And yet, Sasuke thought, he remained so soft. 

The siblings had been friends for a few months now, they were close, even, but this memory broke everything in Sasuke. When the memory ended and Itachi turned his head away from him, Sasuke was still in shock. Noone - noone came to help him, noone - they were all - they just-! It was - how could he…!?!

“ That… was the Uchiha clan,” Itachi whispers. 

He’s crying, Sasuke realizes. 

“ I guess… I disgust you, too, now.” 

Sasuke was silent, because he always was, when he was overcome with feelings, and he never really knew what to do when it came to excessive emotions, or stress.

Being through what he’s been, in the last four years, Sasuke is a different person than he was, back then. The moment he shared with Naruto a few years back, and now with Itachi, was similar - someone he cares about is crying with their back turned to Sasuke, hoping Sasuke would somehow make it better, - and Sasuke wanted to, he swore he wanted to, he was desperate to help - anyhow - but… he didn't know how, then. 

Itachi was slowly shaking now, obviously not only reliving the old, terrifying memory, but also in realization Sasuke was now disgusted with him, too. Itachi risked everything by showing Sasuke who he really was, who Fugaku and the clan made him into, and quite obviously, his risk didn't pay off. His younger brother probably took his father’s side in this scenario, and Itachi was once again left bereft, scared that the last person who talked to him, liked him… was now ready to turn away from him in disgust and shame, too. 

 - Not any more, Itachi . Sasuke crawled closer to his brother and held an arm above him for a second, before gently, uneasily, touching his upper arm. 

He imagined what he wanted to do, when he saw thirteen years old Itachi suffer - hold him close, whisper to him, keep him calm, maybe treat his injuries… so he - he - he does. He leans down, caresses Itachi’s arm up and down, and once more, and then he gently, slowly leans in, close to Itachi’s neck, cheek and noses at it, while caressing his shoulder. “You don't - you don't. I’m so sorry you had to… I’m so sorry, Itachi… He - what he’s done is… it’s unforgivable. It was disgusting, yes, but Fugaku was the one I’m ashamed of. Not you, Itachi, never you. I’m so sorry.” 

Itachi hides his face more, away from his brother, and closes his eyes. “You look so much like him.” 

Like Fugaku? Sasuke blinks a few times. Does he look like Fugaku?! “I’m not… I’m not him, Itachi.” 

His brother doesn't speak, but he stops hiding as much. Sasuke leans into his brother, hugging his laying form as properly as he can. He can guess what Itachi showed him is just the tip of the iceberg, just a bit of what Itachi had suffered all his life at the compound. 

“ I see… I see why you enjoyed killing Fugaku now,” Sasuke whispered. “I would - if I knew, I would be there with you, killing him with no mercy. I just… why is - you… you killed…” he trailed, he couldn't bring himself to say ‘why did you kill our mom too?’ because he knows there has to be something. 

The thing was, Itachi didn't have to kill anyone - he just had to take the fall. Madara was pretty decent at that, but Itachi said exactly this: I need to kill them myself. Then I need to look into my brother’s eyes, and after that, I’m yours.

“ She knew,” Itachi whispers, his tears still running down his face. 

Sasuke gently turns Itachi’s head to himself. His brother slowly blinks at him, and Sasuke doesn't care about anything at all, and just does what he hopes feels natural - he cuddles his brother right under his wing, caressing his back and shoulder, keeping him safe and sound. 

“ She was the one who told Fugaku, when I came back home late.  She was the one who told Fugaku how to punish me for my mistakes. When I was five, I got spanked. When I was ten, I was forced to go through chakra withdrawals. When I was thirteen, I was raped by my father. And what were those mistakes I was punished for? When I left home for a mission sooner than I should, to meet with… with them, just to talk. When I decided not to kill my enemy, and rather to bring them in for ANBU-CONS interrogation. When I was true to my Hokage, the Hokage I chose, the Yondaime. When I ended my practise five minutes earlier to spend it with you.” 

Sasuke tightens his grip on his brother. He swears to himself that he will never let Itachi suffer, ever again. 

Chapter Text

The memory of his suffering brother helps him focus, helps him realize why he wants Madara defeated, tortured, murdered. He wishes his brother could feel that Sasuke is thinking about him to assure him he might be alone right now on his mission, but he is not lonely - he’s got his brother now. Sasuke sighs. He misses Itachi. He misses Itachi almost as much as he misses Naruto. 

Breathing in, he looks around the class and his eyes settle on the Hyuuga heir, who is sitting close to an Inuzuka heir, judging by the dog next to their chair. He looks at the two girls on the right, who obviously are best friends, judging by the matching necklaces. He looks at Rainmaru, but tells his next words to Aoki. 

“What… would you do for your best friend?” Sasuke asks because he’s scared to answer questions. “Would you protect them?” 

“Yes,” the class agrees, and Aoki looks down for a while in embarrassment, but then says with raw, determined words, showing that he is embarrassed, but the fact is way more important than his ego: “I’d do everything for him.” 

And Sasuke has to admit, there is a lot of strength in this single sentence, said as raw, as loud, in public by his peers, who might hold these words against him, when it comes to it. 

Rainmaru opens his mouth to say something, reacts - he looks at his best friend with something akin to realization, but also… fear. Sasuke doesn't quite want the situation to settle, they should talk about details of this in private, especially if Sasuke is right and the young Hyuuga heir somehow belongs into the relationship. In spite of saving Hyuuga’s feelings as well, Sasuke decides to move the conversation that needs to be had here further by questioning Aoki’s earlier statement: “Everything?” 

“Yes,” Aoki’s look is hard as steel, piercing through Sasuke’s black eyes like kunais, and while he’s aware of Rainmaru needing approval, needing the complimentary touches and affection and reassurance that yes indeed, Rainmaru actually means as much to Aoki as he insists, there’s just no place and time for this. But even then, Aoki goes out of his way and his hand reaches down to Rainmaru’s thigh - the boy pauses and sneaks his hand down too, only to be met with Aoki’s. Sasuke knows their fingers are intertwined under the desk. It kind of makes him sad, and jealous, and incredibly happy at the same time. 

The class accepted that this is a conversation Sasuke and Aoki have, and while they have their opinions, they mostly watch the two geniuses interact. 

“Would you sacrifice your own life?” Sasuke asks, pretending towards the class that nothing intimate, groundbreaking for the two best friends, is happening now.

Aoki nods without hesitation. 

“Your comfort?” 

A slight uneasiness for half a second, but then the kid nods as well, sharply, quickly. 

“Your happiness?” 

Aoki takes a second, and his eyes don't seem as piercing. His nod is not as sure, and his posture not as arrogant. 

“And by happiness and comfort and life, I mean your everything . Your presence. Your clan and family. Your future. Your home. Your goal. Your ego. Your personality. Your mind .” 

There’s silence now, and while Rainmaru seems deep in thought, obviously confused at what this is about, Aoki looks scared. Terrified, actually. Sasuke can see Aoki gripping his friend’s hand in his, and Rainmaru doesn't look like he minds at all. He inches closer to Aoki without thinking. Sasuke realizes it’s probably a thing he often does, leaning and coming close and holding and touching and breathing in Aoki, his Aoki. 

Sasuke feels like he’s going to cry. He can feel so much of his own past in the two boys, they are so similar, they share a friendship of one of a kind, one similar to the one Sasuke and Naruto shared. But Aoki and Rainmaru seem smarter, so much smarter…! They don't hate each other, they know how to provide safety and comfort and affection - and while Aoki isn't exactly outgoing and public person, and he obviously doesn't flaunt affection around each step just like Naru-, ehm, Rainmaru does, Aoki  certainly knows how to handle his emotional friend, even if it means their caresses and hugs mostly happen in private. 

Sasuke closes his eyes and remembers the tingling he felt whenever Naruto was around, sometimes touching, mostly talking, somehow always trying to get a reaction out of Sasuke. The tidal waves he got remembering those moments of the hugs Naruto gifted him, like it was free, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

But now, looking at the two barely gennins, he realizes that between best friends, it actually… is . 

“Imagine you have... noone and nothing. Just your best friend. You don't even know who you are - you are not able to form opinions or decisions right because you know you are being lied to by authorities - by your parents, by your supervisors, and you know you were manipulated several times by those who were supposed to lead you. You only know one thing for sure, as sure as there is sun in the sky: you have the one and only friend.”

Sasuke pauses there, looking at the class in general, but the entire class knows he means to look at Aoki and Rainmaru.  

“No matter how you are different, and you sometimes argue, and you don't always get along that well… you know they are your best friend because they care about you, they talk to you, they share their life with you, you know everything about them, they trust you, they count on you, and you care about them just as much. But as you grow from kids to adults, you realize how important that person actually is for you. You start to understand the world we live in isn't a safe place. You find out your best friend, the only person you ever trusted, is in serious danger. And the danger isn't anything you’ve ever heard of - it’s not just death, peaceful as we all wish for. It’s torture, suffering, undescribable pain, destruction, humiliation, close friends dying, families parted and homes destroyed forever. And the only thing you hope for is that people who swore to protect you will help you.” 

There is complete silence. Ino behind him seems in deep thoughts, and if she pretended to be friendly and understanding towards the Uchiha before, Sasuke can tell now, she really, truly understands what his real intentions are, and she definitely isn't pretending to be on his side now. He can feel it in her chakra, in her posture, how her opinion on the entire Valley of the End situation changed, shifted.

“But no help ever came, and if it did, it was never enough.”

The class is silent, doesn't even breathe. Sasuke realizes he might have scared them, but he thinks it’s important for the young generation to know the reality.  

“What if there was such danger waiting exclusively for your best friend, and there was noone who could beat the evil for being too bad, too scary, and too powerful?” 

There is complete silence in the room, now all the kids look scared - okay, Sasuke, that was a bit too much. There was no reason to threaten the kids with torture, maybe he shouldn't have said that. 

Ino doesn't even move in her seat, and she doesn't seem to mind the way Sasuke speaks. The class seems threatened, the Hyuuga heir has tears in his eyes, and some girls too. Rainmaru is sitting still, looking down, obviously imagining what Sasuke is saying. Portraying himself in the situation and Aoki in the other, thinking what he would do - and it’s obvious this is something he never thought about, judging from the look on his face. The more he thinks about it, the more uncomfortable he is, and eventually he shakes his head to get rid of the awful images. 

Aoki on the other hand, looks terrified to the bone. His eyes are wide open and staring into nothing, obviously lost to his inner imagines, and he’s squeezing Rainmaru’s hand under the table to the point where Sasuke’s surprised he doesn't hear bones breaking. 

“My teachers never failed me,” Sasuke repeats with intention. “The evil was just… too powerful. And my best friend, the only person I ever trusted, fully and unconditionally, was the target of said evil,” Sasuke explains. There is a second of silence, and now it’s Aoki, whose eyes are wet. “What would you do, in that situation?” 

“I’d do anything to become stronger,” Rainmaru whispers, looking at his best friend, as he slowly reaches up his free hand and gently touches the side of his face. 

The intimacy of said gesture makes Sasuke shiver, and even Ino’s breath catches. Sasuke wants to desperately look back at her to gain a bit more confidence - her approval would mean the world to him now, but he can't. It’s… he… -  he can't? He - he quickly looks back at her, just half a second. She’s already watching him with a small smile that doesn't hold sympathy. It holds… something else. Support, somehow, at first. When Sasuke glances again, it is rather sad, nonetheless understanding. 

She understands he needs something to hold onto, and she’s more than ready to remind him: “You don't have to. I know this isn't easy.” 

That was way more than he expected. Sasuke breathes in and closes his eyes - approval, validation, but also understanding. He never really got any of that. And right when he’s sure he can handle the rest, Ino whispers, so quietly he can barely make it out - and without Mangekyou, he wouldn't have -, “I’m so proud of you.” 

His breath hitches, and for some reason, his head feels like turning around. She understands. She is on his side. She is… she is genuinely showing her care for him. Sasuke’s eyes glitch with sharingan, remembering the echo of her words, chasing after it - it’s gone, she said it and her supportive smile doesn't waver. Sasuke’s hands have been shaking for the most part, but now the shaking has stopped. He focuses on the silence in the class, on the gentle gesture Aoki is now paying to Rainmaru: his other hand is now touching Rainmaru’s shoulder, so from where Sasuke sits it looks like Aoki is hiding into his friend, hugging him, obviously terrified by the mere thought of being in the situation Sasuke described. 

“Would you?” Sasuke whispers, this time addressing Rainmaru. “Would you truly do anything?” 

Rainmaru realizes that was the reason Sasuke needed to leave, but Aoki is quicker. “If I knew my only chance is to leave the village to look for someone to teach me,” the black haired kid looks up to meet Sasuke’s dark look, “If it meant I’d have to become nukenin. If it meant I’d have to pretend to join the Akatsuki themselves…” 

Aoki’s look is dark, determined, somehow scary, for a child. 

“I would do it.” 

Chapter Text

Sasuke was still shaken when he walked out of the Academy. Ino walks right next to him, and even she seems deep in thoughts. 

“So you didn't leave Konoha. You were… you left it to protect it.” 

Sasuke can't tell if she’s choosing purposely not to comment how the friendship Sasuke described to the class was no friendship - that was destined, one and only, love of his entire life situation. But in the end, Sasuke left with the sole purpose of finding any way that could help them defeat Akatsuki and find what business they have with the love of his life, who by chance happened to be the main enemies to the village. 

“Orochimaru was the only known shinobi of strength similar to the Akatsuki members,” Sasuke explains. “Therefore, he was the only person I could learn from and become stronger.” 

-Thisss wasss very niccce of you.-

Ino nods and realizes that yes, that truly was a genius plan. “You couldn't tell anyone because noone would approve of such a mission. And you couldn't tell Kakashi or Naruto because they’d go with you, which would put Naruto as well as the village, considering he’s a jinchuuriki, in danger. Kakashi was our only chance for a decent protection, so he couldn't have known, either.” 

Sasuke doesn't know what to think about it. Is Ino ignoring, on purpose, what Sasuke said about his own best friend…? Or does she think their friendship is over because Naruto… doesn't behave as his best friend? Or does Ino know something more than she lets Sasuke see? Did Naruto himself told Ino him and Sasuke were never friends in the fir-

Wait. Naruto himself said to the class - and probably to all of his friends - exactly what the kids told him. Naruto said they were a killing force in a team, yes, but also that they… how was it? How did Aoki phrase it? 

-... Desssspite never making it to friendsssss .- 

Sasuke refuses to take the Snake into account, but as much as he winces at the remark, he has to admit he is right. Those were the words Naruto chose to tell his class about the adventures of team 7. And not only that, he actually told them only the memories where Naruto was the idiot, and Sasuke was the hero. What… what exactly did Rainmaru and all the other kids mention? The Haunted house, that one he remembers. He even saved Shikamaru during that one. Zabuza and Haku - but that story can be told differently because Sasuke truly believes Naruto was the one who saved them all, not Sasuke. Sasuke only prevented Naruto from more injuries, since he didn't believe Haku wanted to kill Naruto. He befriended the blond, before. And noone wanted to kill Naruto after they talked to him for five minutes. The kids also talked about the Nephrite Cat - a story where the both of them were the idiots, but it was by chance the two of them, both of them, who defeated the enemy. It was Sasuke’s plan, but without Naruto’s perfect aim and his ability to follow instructions and his chakra reserves, they would never succeed. There were more stories where Naruto saved the day, but Naruto decided to tell the kids only the funny ones, or the ones that showed Naruto as an idiot, and Sasuke, by chance, as the hero of the day.

In Sasuke’s mind, it wasn't like that.

They were a team, and Naruto saved his arse as well. Maybe not as many times, but the worse for Sasuke, who had his heritage, his kekkei genkai, and all the things Naruto didn't have, didn't inherit, didn't know, because he was alone. It’s not fair towards him to make him look like an idiot just because Sasuke seemed as the smarter, the more talented one - it’s easy to be the better one, when your opponent is held in the dark of who he is, doesn't have anyone to learn from, didn't inherit anything, noone paid him any attention till they become team 7, and atop of that, didn't know there are two kinds of chakra messing with his flow, and how to fix it. 

It’s like saying ‘hey, watch out!’ to a blind person. 

But this, Ino obviously ignoring everything Sasuke said in the class, that he went and was ready to give his everything for Naruto… that was not good. 

“Was… that your plan? Let me talk to the kids?” Sasuke asks after a while.

“Are you kidding me,” Ino huffs in a laughter. “I didn't even think you’d let me stay with you at the compound.” 

Sasuke isn't sure he believes her. 

“You… were nice. I think Aoki and you really formed a connection there.” 

Sasuke slows, waits for Ino to return his gaze. Is Ino suggesting they bonded over feelings for their best friend? “I never… thought I’d be talking to… kids.” 

“You… were good with him. With them. You have a gift at holding their attention while explaining complicated problems. It’s not usual for them to be so attentive, you know.” 

Sasuke never thought he’s capable of such a thing. 

“You… spoke in there about losing yourself,” Ino remembers. “Do you know who you are now?” 

“I don't think that is important, Ino,” Sasuke answered meekly. 

“You spoke about losing the future. Yet you are here,” Ino continues, and it’s obvious now she’s not asking out of curiosity. 

“I did. Then my brother showed me what is upon us. All the evil that needs to be defeated. I am here to help the good side,” Sasuke explains and hopes that will be enough. But of course that’s not what Ino wants to hear. 

“Yes, that is the nearest future, close weeks, maybe months. I’m asking about the years that are to come after,” she offers a smile, but it’s obvious his answer is demanded, not optional. 

Only that there is no few months . There are weeks, possibly.

“I… I don't think that far. There is a war to win, and even if we all try our best to be prepared, I can't let my hopes up at -!” 

“Let’s say,” Ino’s expression is slightly disapproving now, and Sasuke realizes she needs more than a vague answer. “We win the war, we all survive with only minor injuries. Now. War is won, enemies defeated and dead. What is your goal?” 

Hopefully? Well, something , feelings of belonging, finding home, making… making it to friends with Naruto. But reality? Sasuke doesn't plan to live for much longer, after the war ends. If he can decide about it, anyway. “I’d… join the elite team, or stay in ANBU.”

Now Ino stops, and looks surprised. Sasuke can't pinpoint why, so he has to wait for her to speak again: “I didn't expect you to want to stay in the village.” 

Ah, so it was about that . Sasuke understands he didn't make himself clear enough: “I didn't leave for my personal vendetta, or because I was bored, or mad, or held any grudges. I left because I needed to get stronger to protect the only person I was ever lucky enough to call a friend.” 

Her expression shifts, and so does her mood. Just like in the class, her face is trying to hide her true feelings, but Ino does understand his meaning. And all he did in the past, hopefully, too. Sasuke once again hopes she’ll say something like, he’d do it for you too, or, he talks about you, obviously misses you, or… or… or something. 

But Ino doesn't. 

Chapter Text

“So… Do you want to continue in your bloodline, sworn to Konoha?” 

Sasuke lets the corner of his lips slightly smirk - of course Ino notices. He expects her to call him out on it, explain what he means by this, but Ino stays quiet. 

“I won't provide an heir,” Sasuke chooses to say. Their walk is slow, the street nearly empty. 

If the Cougar is surprised, she doesn't let it show. But there is something in her voice that says she doesn't really believe him. “You aren't even twenty yet. You don't know what the future will bring.” 

Sasuke wants to tell her the famous: Uchihas only ever love once , but he doesn't. He’s not sure if he’d be able to explain, and with no Uchiha residing in the village, it wouldn't make any sense, either. “I’m quite sure about that.” 

Ino looks around, perhaps checking for the other ANBU following them around. Sasuke is sure they were not alone, as the Hokage needs to make sure the Uchiha doesn't do anything he’d regret. Without the advance of using his chakra, Sasuke can't tell if they are followed. 

“Funny, how you think you can just decide that,” Ino offers a small smile, as if she knew something Sasuke is missing. “You don't need love, or a relationship, for a child to be born. Maybe you won't even plan on it. Things sometimes happen without our opinion on them, really.” 

Oh well, I am one to tell, my dear Ino, Sasuke thinks. He sighs. He must say it out loud. “I don't think that is an option for me.”

Ino obviously doesn't have any idea about the option for Sasuke. Sasuke , of all people. “Oh come on, don't be like that,” she smiles heartily, trying for a lighter tone. Sasuke really appreciates her approach to this questioning. “I’m sure you’ll fall in love. I’m not saying you’ll meet the right girl straight away, but like I said, you are still too young.” 

“There’s...,” he pauses, because that never thought really sunk in before. “There’s no need to be worried about more Uchihas, Ino. I’m sincerely not planning on it.” 

“Well, noone plans to fall in love,” Ino shrugs. Sasuke has to agree with this, and Ino can tell he does. “You are too young to give up hope like this.” 

Sasuke looks her in the eye shortly, and decides to say: “Uchihas only…ever love once.” 

Ino is silent for a while, searching for the answers in his face, in his posture. “Where is she, then? I’m sure she could come to pay you a visit. If she's a civilian, she will be given the option to live here as a citizen if you will become resident, but even if she is a ninja, I’m sure there is a way to…” 

And yet again, he can lie. He can hide the truth, and speak about something else. He can let it slowly evade, and he can make Ino think that maybe she died, or maybe she doesn't want him. But yet again, he promised himself. He won't… he won't lie. That’s not the shinobi, that’s not the person , he wants to be. 

“It’s… It’s not a girl, Ino.” 

He doesn't know what he expected. Her entire posture, expression, tone, all of that changing? More questions, demanding, or just straight up disgust…?

“Where is he, then?” she asks with the same tone as she asked about a potential girl, her friendly approach never changing.

Sasuke doesn't want to answer the real question here, so he focuses on the emotional part of it: “He doesn't… feel the same.” 

Her eyes drop and Sasuke knows just from that gesture that yes, Ino knows of one-sided love. 

Sasuke is sure she must know about his feelings for Naruto. He even said, for fuck’s sake, he said it loud and clear: the only person he ever considered close, was Naruto. And Uchihas only ever love once. Wasn't - wasn't it obvious? If she put two and two together, she didn't let it show, and he didn't have the courage to ask. 

“Are you… reporting everything to your supervisor?” Sasuke asks. 

“Yes,” Ino nods shortly.

Sasuke doesn't mind as much as he initially thought. Noone likes him here anyway, and at least now they have a legit reason for it. He didn't come back to Konoha to find a happy life here, and the last tiny bit of hope he had is gone. 

It’s time to go back to his initial plan. Itachi, the soft, strong, gentle Itachi, his beloved brother, lost and found again in an unexpected place and time, was also the last person he had. His time in this world is coming to an end. 

“May we stop by the market?” Sasuke asks silently. 

He plans on cooking, Lion might come for lunch again, and maybe Fox shows up. There isn't much Sasuke can offer, and his life expectancy just rapidly dropped. 

“Yes,” Ino smiles, genuinely smiles at him. “I would use some fish, and maybe rice.” 

Sasuke closes his eyes and remembers his brother’s face - he was eating the last dango with a small smile, realizing Sasuke declined just for his brother to enjoy it. Soft, pretty, strong, and so, so hurt. His brother. His Itachi. Sasuke finally understands why Itachi is lately pushing Madara for the war would start sooner. He wanted to die for much longer than Sasuke. 

“Are those tomatoes really that interesting?” Ino smiles at him.

Sasuke takes the tomatoes, and goes over to the corn. “I… was told you are my guard, but you are my leash, aren't you?” 

Ino takes the rice, and then some noodles. She seems surprised at Sasuke’s approach, but after a while, she grins at him: “Can't we pretend we are old friends on a small trip to the market?” 

Sasuke doesn't smile, but his eyes are gentler than she remembers. He nods. After a while, he asks: “Can I leave the flat on my own?” 

“Yes.” 

“Am I being followed by ANBU?” 

“Yes.”

“Am I to undergo ANBU-CONS?”

“It wasn't decided yet.” 

Sasuke nods. He appreciates she doesn't lie to him, but also doesn't give him false hopes. She didn't say a word about Naruto, and that is the only conclusion Sasuke makes after his first day in Konoha. 

“Am I allowed any responsibility?” 

“...No.” 

Sasuke thought so. “What am I… supposed to do, before the war starts?” 

Ino hoped he won't ask her because she genuinely doesn't know. The commander insisted Sasuke should be put in jail or undergo ANBU-CONS interrogation, but both Tsunade and Naruto didn't approve. If Kakashi was in the village, he’d interrogate the Uchiha on his own, but things are never easy, when you need them to be. And while Shikamaru is happy Uchiha is back and will side with Konoha, Shikaku doesn't trust the not-really-a-nukenin at all. 

With Sasuke’s presence here, when they don't have a Hokage, they don't know who is the enemy and whom they can trust. When there is war coming and the best one of them all is somewhere who knows where, mostly failing his mission, Sasuke splitting the last remaining unity between the leaders of the village is the last thing they needed - Shikaku’s words, not hers.

But Ino, as well as a few others, don't really feel for Konoha’s older generation that much, after everything that happened. They care for their generation, for their future, and those who come after them. Not for a generation that blindly served Danzo and Sandaime. 

At least, Ino hopes Sasuke can agree on that with her. 

“I understand this is frustrating to you,” Ino starts, but Sasuke shakes his head. 

He isn't frustrated, he’s terrified to his core. He knows what it means to stay alone, just with his thoughts. And maybe this is exactly his punishment. Maybe this is exactly what the Hokage and maybe even ANBU-CONS intended. Let the Uchiha suffer on his own. He’ll come around, or kill himself. 

“It’s not a problem,” Sasuke assures her with a timid smile, but with a soulless look in his eyes. Ino knows exactly then that what Sasuke actually said is ‘I’m already dead, anyway’. 

Ino has never seen anyone who gave up on life as much as the Uchiha siblings.

Chapter Text

Back at the flat, he decides to put away a few of the things he owns. There are not many clothes, and only a few scrolls he didn't decipher yet. Most of the things stayed at the compound patiently waiting for him to dig them out and burn it all - he doesn't want the history repeating itself.There’s no need for another Uchiha - or any other kekkei genkai user, for that matter - to be manipulated for someone else’s benefit. And he knows Uchihas aren't exactly skilled at detecting what is good and what is bad, what is the truth and what is some sick manipulation. They are all prone to seeing the world as black and white, and their hunger for unlimited power is best to be stopped, permanently. 

Uchihas don't know when they are being played. Especially when one Uchiha decides to play another one, be it Madara, or even Itachi. 

The last of Sasuke’s possessions is the old, old photo of team 7. He was actually ashamed, when he, not even thirteen, ran away from Konoha. And even then he realizes while staring at the photo, watching Naruto’s young, child-like face, even then he wasn't able to leave everything behind, just like he swore he will. 

Sasuke looks at the photo and even if he usually watches Naruto on it, sometimes Kakashi, today he looks directly at Sakura. Sakura, who obviously lost all feelings - at least the Platonic ones - towards him. If she’s anything Ino described and Sasuke believes she is, Sakura is a strong, important kunoichi for this village, but also a person who obviously knows where they stand, what’s their purpose in life and what’s their goal. Sasuke looks at her smiling face and tries to imagine her matured, grown up, looking similar to Ino. Her jaw is going to be stronger, her eyes more sharp. Her chakra might have lost its warmth and is now firmer, way more consistent. He always hoped that Sakura would catch Naruto, if he ever fell, and it looks like exactly that happened, judging by the warning he got from Ino about the pink kunoichi. 

In the picture of Team 7, Sakura is innocently smiling. Sasuke imagines her smile is not as common these days, but hopes it reaches her eyes just as much. 

Sasuke slips the photograph back into his travel bag - he isn't in a safe space here. The ANBU are watching him, his every move is being reported, and he is the common enemy even to people who considered him comrade, four years ago. And of course, he’s aware Fox might be the person he should fear the most. 

Cooking was a favourite pass time between mission, training and sleep, and it was the only free time indulgence Sasuke allowed himself, despite never having anyone to share a meal with, after The Night. When he still resided in the village, he had a few vegetable plants in the garden, and he loved the process of getting the ingredients, washing them, cutting them, and turning them into delicious dishes. He doesn't have to think about anything, when cooking. 

Deciding about dinner for Fox (and perhaps for Lion, too), he hopes his flatmate comes home before the war. Despite everything, Sasuke would like to know the man who offered to share his flat with the nuke-nin.When the dinner is made and the dishes done, Sasuke looks around the flat. It’s small, cosy, barely lived in - but it is not necessarily a man-cave. They could easily be a woman, Fox. Sasuke imagines it, and is sorry Ino isn't his new flatmate. He’s sure he’d enjoy her company, and he’s sure he could be helpful. Maybe she could invite Naruto for lunch, and Sasuke would cook and have an excuse to talk to him - … 

His thoughts stop here, and remembers his brother. I miss you, Itachi. I miss you so much. 

It’s not safe to think about his only love. Itachi told him about that. 

---

“ There were times,” Itachi answered after a long silence, “I only thought about… them . When I was travelling and… whenever I didn't have much to do. And after… after a few years I was able to face the truth: I was thinking about them, so I didn't have to think about anything else. The past, the possible future, if my life was different. I had a play-pretend scenario in my mind. I used my clones to… have a conversation with them.” 

Sasuke can feel his own cheeks go pink - he’s guilty of exactly that as well. 

“ I… I had entire books written about us in my mind. Thousands and thousands of pages written about the life we could have had, if we were… someone else. Or if my family… or if their…” Itachi’s cheeks go pink. Sasuke knew the gender-neutral pronouns were actually hidden male pronouns. He let his brother have this little game, he didn't want to pressure Itachi into saying anything he wasn't comfortable with, but maybe that's why Itachi just then sighed, and repeated with averted look and pink cheeks: “…ehm, his. His life, his teacher and his best friend and… I had… it was… I had so many of those stories of us in my head, Sasuke.” 

Itachi averts his eyes, secretly watching Sasuke’s reaction to the coming out of his older brother - and Sasuke, aware Itachi is like deer in a spotlight, is careful not to react at all; it is pointless, making an issue about his loved one being a male, when Sasuke himself is hardly a shining example of heterosexuality, falling for Naruto and all. But perhaps, Itachi is not aware of the depth of his feelings for the young blond. Itachi said it himself - Uchihas only ever love once, and it does not need to be romantic love. 

Realizing Itachi isn't like his younger brother, ruined by Fugaku, Mikoto, the entire clan, and also by Elders and Sandaime, he obviously has issues with himself. And after what Sasuke witnessed during the memory of Fugaku punishing Itachi, Sasuke doesn't blame his sibling for being wary. Therefore, he remains calm and exactly the same, after his brother confides in him with his loved one. 

It does not matter to Sasuke, either way. 

Thinking about what his brother said, Sasuke sighs - he understands exactly what his brother was talking about. He had these imaginary situations, and stories, and conversations, and little secrets, as well. There’s silence for a while between the siblings, where Itachi’s words linger, settle in, and Sasuke should tell his brother he has those secrets too, he knows how he feels, because he’s done that too - but he doesn't know how to express feelings, yet. “Which one was your favourite?” 

Itachi on the other hand appreciates exactly that; Sasuke getting a hint, and taking everything Itachi tells him in his sacred solitude as it is. Not making any more of it, not taking it lightly. He understands, and reacts the way Itachi needs him to. 

So he offers a gentle smile, and replies: “The one where we were both born far, far away from Konoha, far away from the ninja world. Maybe in the lands of Another Continent,where are only small villages made of farmers. We reside in a simple traditional house by the sea, own a large garden where we grow our own vegetables, and a small boat we use for fishing. There’s no need for fight, and pain, and war, or power. It’s only you and me at the house, and we take care of each other, because our parents are dead, or they never wanted us. And eventually, at the market, I would… meet him, while you would meet your one and only at school, or suddenly, with awkward fun, during school play, or perhaps the harvest festival. Eventually, we live together, the four of us. 

I am happy, I hope, in this book, this play-pretend I have in my head. I think about this imaginary universe often, as it is my favourite. I was settled with the love of my life, with you and your one and only close to me. We loved each other, in my head, as brothers and dearest friends - even in times when I told you to hate me and kill me, and you agreed. 

I think you are happy too, in this imaginary life.” 

Sasuke forces himself not to cry. 

Itachi would prefer growing up an orphan, rather than to give an option to even different parents, or their parents in an alternative universe. Itachi was still thinking about Sasuke, still hoping his brother would be happy. Sasuke won't cry. 

“ Did-” Sasuke’s voice breaks, but he’s not crying. He’s not! “Do… we grow tomatoes?” 

Itachi giggles, but Sasuke can tell he’s crying, too. “We-we did, yes, yes. Of course, we grow tomatoes, Sasuke.”

Sasuke reaches slowly to Itachi’s face and Itachi jerks away, lowers his gaze, but Sasuke follows through and gently touches his cheeks. The tears are warmer than Sasuke thought, and he gently wipes them away with his thumbs. “I had… many of these scenarios, stories, imaginations in my head, too. But the… my most recent one was… with you.” 

“ Me?” Itachi is so surprised he looks up, with his teary eyes, to stare back at Sasuke. 

“ Yes,” Sasuke wants to kill his clan now, too. How could anyone, anyone at all allow beautiful, gentle, strong Itachi to think so little about himself….?! To be surprised that anyone at all thinking about him and his well-being? How fucked up was actually his childhood?! “About you and me. About how we travelled the world. Maybe we’d eventually find our home somewhere else, in a country where they use a different language. We’d try to blend in with the commoners of and fail horribly. You’d teach me, and I’d protect you from bounty hunters. You’d work in a small bookshop or a flower shop. I’d take minor missions for the rich people of the town, guarding their wives and money. I’d take care of you when you don't feel the best, and you’d cook for us. We would bicker, and read, and play-fight, and play our little made-up games. We’d probably be the local weirdos because we’d feed all the stray cats and eat sweets on our patio at sunrise.” 

Sasuke never wanted to see Itachi cry. He never wanted to see him as broken as he did that day. 

----

He misses Itachi more than he can express. He feels alone, lost, and unimportant. He has no goal, no purpose. He finally realizes his biggest fear now is that he survives the war. Sasuke wished there’d be anything he could do for Itachi. Anything at all, but as far as it seems, Itachi never even wanted to come back to Konoha. Maybe there’s nothing he can come back to. The love of his life is… well, who knows. 

Itachi never mentioned his name. Fugaku knew about it, judging by all the terrible things he did and told his son. But Sasuke wasn't sure who it really was. He had his guesses, and Itachi gave a clue himself, it was obviously someone Sasuke knew personally. At first Sasuke thought it was Minato, Naruto’s father, but that one was already dead, while Itachi confirmed he was still alive and in Konoha. It could be one of the jounins, but Sasuke’s aim was ANBU. 

Now it comes to his mind - it could be Lion. He’s about his brother’s age, and Itachi might have mentioned him, Sasuke might have even met him, but he was a child, he doesn't remember that. 

Please , Sasuke prays silently, please don't let it be Lion . 

Chapter Text

Sasuke stands in the doorway to the bedroom and sighs. There’s just one bed. It’s large enough to fit two male bodies in, but Sasuke doesn't want to share such a proximity with a person who will probably mind his presence. He doesn't want to stay, but he can't leave, either. 

“ It won't be easy, Sasuke,” Itachi whispered during one sunrise. “Konoha doesn't forgive. And it never forgets.” 

Sasuke didn't choose his Fate. It is what it is now, Itachi. 

“ You won't be accepted back by the majority. You don't wear the name they would miss.” 

Sasuke hoped for the better, he hoped for his best friend. He did hope, but he wasn't naïve. 

“ Until Madara is defeated, you can't leave. And I’m afraid that after he’s defeated, you’ll be forced to stay.” Sasuke knew he means imprisonment.

“ And you?” Sasuke asks his beautiful brother. “After the war?What would you want?"

Itachi gently smiles, but doesn't reply - not for a long while. 

They sit in the grass, watching the sun rising, eating sweetened rice. When the sun is high and the food gone, Itachi whispers, after all: “If you could hug me one more time. If… you find me worthy of -” 

Itachi didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Sasuke moved so fast it hurt, he tucked his older brother under his wing and held him close, so close it was a bit uncomfortable, but truth be told, Sasuke’s fingers were itching for his sibling whenever he was near since the day he hugged him for the first (and last, so far) time, the only time they were physically close, and that was a few weeks ago. Itachi knew physical attention is something he longs for because that's something he never got. His brother is his only exception, since the love of Itachi’s life obviously doesn't want him. 

“ The worst thing about it will be our separation, Itachi,” he’s lying a bit, because he’s sure he’ll miss the love of his life, too.

Itachi’s eyes are a bit wet, but he hugs Sasuke back with the same importance, and breathes him in. He’s not ready to lose his sibling. He’s not ready to be permanently alone again, but he has to. Madara must be defeated.

Sasuke isn't sure if they’ll ever meet again. There’s a great chance Itachi’s illness will destroy him before he does what he needs to do on another continent - that’s where Madara sent him. There was a great chance Sasuke will be killed in the direct combat he had to endure with the Snake. There was a great chance Madara will find out about Itachi’s true intentions and corner him alone without a strategy. Not even Itachi can stand against Madara on his own. Sasuke figures they might never see each other again, and chances are this is the last time he’s speaking to Itachi. He doesn't want to think about it, doesn't want to admit it to himself, but when he buries his face in Itachi’s hair, he has to whisper one last thing he needs for Itachi to know, before either of them dies: “I love you, Itachi.” 

Sasuke leaves for the bathroom - the water is ice-cold here. Shit . Sasuke is as quick as possible. He doesn't like all the sayings about Uchihas, but this one is straight up true; all Uchihas are sensitive to cold . Sasuke covers himself in a towel and runs into the bedroom. He stops there because… he doesn't know which side of the bed Fox usually sleeps on. He doesn't want to create a misunderstanding before they even meet, but he’s tired. He’d really use some sleep right now, so he goes by the logic and lies down further from the door. He left dinner on the dining table for Fox to enjoy if he comes home - noone mentioned if he would, or where he is. Sasuke takes off the towel, puts on his pyjamas and hides under the covers. The room is warm, the windows are open, the air smells fresh, and the unit is relatively silent. Sasuke dozes off almost immediately. 

He hears and senses someone entering the flat, which stirs him up from his sleep. By the confidence in their steps in the dark living room, and by the way they don't bother covering up their presence, it must be Fox. Sasuke didn't sleep for long, because he can still feel the freshness of the toothpaste in his mouth. Standing up, Sasuke decides to meet his new flatmate.

“Dinner…?” the Fox murmurs to himself, obviously confused.

Sasuke realizes Fox might not even know he has a companion in his living quarters from now on. He stretches and reminds himself not to use chakra for detection. He takes a deep breath, opens the door - - - and he nearly has a heart attack. 

Naruto. In the middle of the living room, inspecting the dinner Sasuke made, stands Naruto. Tall, handsome, with the ANBU vest still on, tattoo visible, without hitai-ate, with sparkling blue eyes that are detectable even in this darkness, and shocked, Naruto. 

“Sasuke?” 

My -my name , Sasuke stutters in his mind. He finally said… My name . 

Sasuke wants to ask many things at the same time - is Naruto looking for Fox? Did Sasuke by accident walk into the wrong flat…? Or did Naruto ? But then Sasuke’s eyes find Naruto’s mask the ANBU is holding in his hand; a… Fox. 

The Uchiha wants to slap himself across the face. Naruto is Fox. Of course Naruto is Fox , for fuck’s sake!!! 

Sasuke had an entire speech prepared for when he will meet Fox, but that obviously isn't needed any more. He doesn't know what to say, and Naruto seems as surprised as Sasuke himself - so naturally, Sasuke panics.

“I... ehm. I made dinner.” 

The fucked up thing about it is, that despite all the inner emotions about today, and all about the past four years, and after everything he understands about their non-existent relationship now, the only thing he can recall in his mind regarding his best friend, is: … I missed you, Naruto. 

“I can… see that,” Naruto, still confused, looks down on the table, and then back at Sasuke. “For… me?” 

Sasuke slowly nods. He traces back the conversation he had with Naruto, he said he can stay in the ANBU unit, did he mean in his flat? Does that mean Naruto offered to stay with Sasuke just like Kakashi and Sakura? 

“Thank you,” Naruto says and sits down. “Would you… eat with me?” 

I missed you, Naruto. 

“Already… ate,” Sasuke says, and Naruto looks ever more surprised. 

Sasuke doesn't know what to say, or how to make this situation any less awkward. He doesn't know what the protocol’s here, and not even the entire reality of Naruto being Fox and the consequences of such has settled yet. 

Naruto looks up and Sasuke realizes it’s rude to stand above an eating Hokage, so he sits down too. He pours himself a glass of water just to keep himself busy. Naruto seems as surprised as him, and Sasuke realizes he should explain why he is here. “I… I thought taking ANBU units flat would be the neutral option. I didn't want to bother Kakashi nor Sakura, so I... “ 

I missed you, Naruto. 

Naruto looks even more surprised now, shocked even - he doesn't hide any emotion at all and Sasuke finds it so endearing, - it’s such a soft reaction near the fucked up Sharingan bearer. Sasuke noticed how attractive he is of course, how manly and hot and sexy, but this expression, the confusion and a pure, open emotional state reminds Sasuke of the days he used to describe Naruto as rather adorable, cute even. ...This isn't the train of thoughts he wants to follow, though. 

Is Sasuke speaking in any real language, or is he just drooling? Naruto isn't disgusted enough for that to be an option, but still. 

“I didn't know you were… my roommate,” Sasuke explains further, but Naruto doesn't seem to follow anything Sasuke’s saying, quite the opposite; he’s leaning away a bit in confusion now. 

Naruto blinks multiple times, and sets the chopsticks he had in his hand back down. 

“No,” Sasuke immediately disagrees, a bit hysterical now, seeing Naruto made a wrong assumption from what he told him, and to be frank, Sasuke doesn't blame him. “No, I made dinner for my roommate,” Sasuke makes clear. “I just… didn't know… it’s you. That’s why I’m surprised. Please, dig in.” 

I missed you, Naruto.

Naruto takes the chopsticks again, watching Sasuke with the same amount of confusion, his eyes not leaving Sasuke’s face for a second. 

I missed you, Naruto.

“Is… um. I’m… is there something wrong with me?” Sasuke asks silently, he can feel his tongue sticking to his palate. He totally underestimated the general effect Naruto’s presence is going to have on him. 

It takes Naruto a while, but he does shake his head. “I just…” the silence is heavy, but not unfriendly. “I’ve never… heard you say so many words in my… entire life.” 

The same Ino told him, but Ino isn't his best friend. Well, by Naruto's logic and experience, neither is Naruto himself. 

“Nor it ever happened you… talked at me,” Naruto continues. “Ever. Especially not in personal matters, let alone you… explained yourself… to me.” 

Seasons change, Naruto, and so do people. “Yes, I… know.” 

“And never had it happened you… cooked. For anyone,” Naruto adds, as if it wasn't obvious. 

I missed you, Naruto.

“My… mother taught me when I was a child,” Sasuke explains, and if Naruto took a bite, he’d choke on it. 

Sasuke never, ever mentioned his family. He only ever mentioned his brother, maybe twice, and that was out of hatred. Naruto lets the sentence settle between them. After that, he has a bite of the food. 

“It’s fantastic,” Naruto said after it, and Sasuke’s shoulders relaxed. He didn't even realize how tense he was until now. “I haven't eaten since lunch, thank you.” 

I missed you, Naruto.

Sasuke nods and looks away. The kids, Ino, and the way Naruto acts around him speaks clearly: Naruto doesn't think Sasuke is his best friend. Hell, he really thinks they never made it to friends. 

“I, uhm, looked into the seal,” Naruto speaks slowly halfway through his meal. 

I missed you, Naruto.

Sasuke has a sip of water again. He barely ate today and what he did, he threw up earlier. He feels as if he’s going to throw up again. “Found anything?” 

Naruto freezes now, staring into Sasuke’s eyes, obviously looking for something . Sasuke breaks the gaze first; he’s not strong enough to face the love of his life now, and he’ll probably never be. Especially when Naruto speaks, out of utter confusion, disbelief, he doesn't even try to cover up: “Are… you having a conversation with me?” 

Sasuke wants to punch himself in the face. Repeatedly. 

“I mean,” Naruto murmurs, “you’ve - you don't - eh. I’m not in the office, and I’m not ANBU captain right now, you don't have to… I know you respect me as your supervisor, but right now, I’m not it. I’m not any representative, so you don't… don't treat me as… You don't… have to…” 

I want to, Naruto. I want to sit here for hours, listen to every single detail of your life for the past four years, listen, maybe sit closer, maybe hug you, maybe tell you about my brother, maybe tell you how I feel about our past, maybe apologize, maybe hug you again, and again, and again. 

I missed you desperately, Naruto.

I missed you. 

I missed you. 

- Ssssay it, Ssssasssuke. -

“I missed you.” 

Naruto freezes, but then, without looking at the nuke-nin, he says a quiet: “We aren’t friends, Sasuke. I don't expect you to pretend we are.” 

Chapter Text

There’s a second of complete silence. Then Sasuke’s eyes turn red with one desperate tomoe in, fear taking over him, as he flees the room as fast as humanly possible. 

Naruto stays sitting right there, watching the empty space Sasuke just vacated. 

The thing is, Naruto was always uneasy about the relationship with Sasuke. He tried really hard, he tried to talk to him, to touch him, to know things about him, to always be there for him, if he ever needed. 

And to be brutally honest, Sasuke never looked like he minded that much, but as Naruto grew up and matured, he thinks he understands why Sasuke behaved like he did. Sasuke and him were never friends. Sasuke only tolerated him, especially when they were in one team, because Naruto was the weak one, the emotional one, the youngest and the less experienced in combat as well as emotional control. It wasn't that Sasuke wanted to be friends with Naruto, he just didn't know how to, - no, not at all. Sasuke never wanted to be friends in the first place, that’s what he told him in the Valley of the End. Sasuke tolerated Naruto and all his talking and touching and everything, for Naruto’s benefit, because Sasuke was always a leader, always mature, always skilled. He knew what it is like to lead a team, and he knew one day he’ll lead it, he might even lead a nation. Sasuke was being the leader Naruto needed him to be, as he was expected to always be the best. Sasuke didn't want to be friends with Naruto, he never wanted to - he was only behaving the way he knew a leader should . Taking care of the team, leading, helping, teaching, guarding, supporting. Sasuke’s relationship towards Naruto was never personal. His behaviour was just what a good leader is expected to do. 

Sasuke was the leader Naruto desiderated, and therefore needed for further survival. He was never a friend. He never wanted to be a friend. He just wanted to learn how to be a good leader.

Naruto, after all the time they spent separated, understood Sasuke differently. It took him four years to realize Sasuke doesn't want him as a friend, but Naruto still hoped he could change that. He hoped that if he maintained a professional approach, Sasuke and him could be… at least on neutral therms, rather than Sasuke secretly hating his guts for always being the stupid one, the last one. 

The thing is, Naruto always hoped there's a chance for them to eventually become friends. But then… then it all went to shit. Naruto was expected to become hokage, to be the adult the village needs him to be, while Sasuke found out the village as it is, is actually the worst pile of liars, manipulators, dictators, and fucking arseholes . It only means that while back then, Sasuke only found Naruto annoying, slow, and stupid, now he became the symbol of everything that ruined Sasuke’s family, his life, his past, his childhood - and tempted to ruin the last person he cared for, his older brother. 

Back then, Naruto was only an idiot. Now, four years later, Naruto could mean to Sasuke something that reminded him of simpler times, times when Sasuke hated everyone, Itachi the most, and he had home, a goal, and anchors that grounded him, or made him feel like he belonged somewhere. 

Right now, Naruto became the hokage, another liar, another manipulator, another hater of Uchihas, just like all the previous hokages. Naruto is now the enemy, a symbol of what ruined Itachi, a symbol of who lied and manipulated Sasuke, the symbol of power Uchihas tried to fight for decades. 

And Sasuke, saying he missed Naruto, means the last nail in the coffin for the next hokage. It means that Sasuke missed Naruto, the stupid kid, who wasn't an enemy Konoha made him to hate, because Konoha chose Naruto to be their representative, to be someone they trust, and they want to lead them. To Naruto, Sasuke’s ‘I missed you, Naruto’ means a ‘one day, I’ll kill you, because you decided to become the representative for those who murdered my family and ruined my brother, and took everything from me’.

It takes a while for Naruto to move from his seat. He decides to give Sasuke a few minutes, because he’s sure the Uchiha needs them. After that, he closes his eyes and focuses. He finds Sasuke near the Nara forest, which is as surprising as it makes sense. 

Itachi didn't talk much, but when he did, it was something deep, truthful, meaning it also hurt, in a way. 

Sasuke sits by the river, and even though he can sense Naruto approaching, he doesn't run any more. He doesn't speak, so Naruto sits a good four meters away from him. The moon is white in the shape of a fat letter C. There was a full moon just a couple of nights ago. 

Naruto doesn't speak, it’s one of the things he’s learned and understood after Sasuke left; don't speak unless spoken to. On the other hand, Sasuke has already spoken. The silence stretches and Naruto knows it’s not possible, but it seems Sasuke’s eyes are… he’s not crying, not really. It’s just… he seems… the fear in one tomoe sharingan isn't something an Uchiha would be proud of, but Sasuke, still one desperate tomoe out, seems somewhat content with his embarrassing state. 

Naruto has no idea how to behave now. 

“I’m sorry I fled,” Sasuke whispers. 

The tone reminds Naruto of Root members - the tone that doesn't allow any emotions, not by choice, but by inhuman training. 

“It’s obvious why you fled, and I don't blame you for it,” Naruto decides to say. 

He wants to say so many things. He wants to carry the conversation for Sasuke, like he used to. He wants to try and guess what he feels, what he can't say because he doesn't want to or doesn't know how to, doesn't matter. He wants to talk about himself and hope Sasuke will understand it’s actually about him, not the soon-to-be Hokage. He wants to joke to lighten up the mood.

But he stays silent. 

“I didn't…” Sasuke’s scared sharingan briefly meets Naruto’s ocean blue eyes. “I…” 

Naruto won't speak, and Sasuke can't bring himself to hate him for it. The Naruto he knew was all over the place, never shut up, always spoke for Sasuke, for his benefit. He always knew what Sasuke was thinking, in a way, and he always knew he speaks for them both, especially on missions or during combat. But Naruto is now silent; he doesn't assume things, and he doesn't speak so Sasuke doesn't have to. 

The Uchiha realizes just how often Naruto used to sacrifice his own comfort zone to never disturb Sasuke’s. 

Sasuke might be sick. “I…” 

Broken in a way I don't remember anyone seeing, Naruto recalls Irbis’ report. 

He seems to miss a soul he was born without. And the bits of life he used to have are worn out now,  was Ino’s report. 

However disturbed, he left the village as a human, Shikamaru told him , and while his body, nearly destructed, did make it back home, his mind didn't. 

Naruto looks directly into his eyes, and Sasuke averts his gaze immediately after. Naruto forces himself to stay seemingly unaffected, unmoving, silent. He gives Sasuke his space, but he won't force him into anything. 

“I didn't...” think it would be this hard , Sasuke thinks. “I just…” missed you .

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry for all I did. 

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry I hurt you. 

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry I left you. 

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry I was weak enough to come back. 

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry I’m weak enough to stay. 

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry you have to see me like this.

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry I used you to stay alive. 

I missed you, Naruto. And I’m sorry I fell in love with you. 

“I…” 

He wasn't able to say anything of this aloud. He honestly wasn't even sure if Naruto wanted to hear it. The hokage came down here just because he can't let Sasuke wander around his village without supervision, especially not this close to his best friends’ lands - it’s Shikamaru’s residence nearby, and over there Ino’s. He should have chosen a different place to calm his thoughts, it’s just… Itachi told him he went here whenever there was a lot on his mind. He always found peace near the river, where the white Nara deer came for a drink, late at night. Sasuke takes a deep breath and starts again, ready to say what he has to say; he owes as much to the Hokage. “I…” 

“You don't have to say anything,” Naruto whispers after a while. “You got your message across well at the Valley of the End. I assure you, I understand. We have never been friends. You came back to help me take Madara, Danzo and Zetsu down. It’s not personal. Nothing between us is personal. I don't want you to pretend you are someone else, I never wanted you to. But I used to force you, back then, without realizing, and that is my fault, my doing. I don't hold a grudge because of what you did to me. You proved you are still loyal to Konoha beyond personal feelings, and that’s the only thing that matters. You won't run away from me, and I won't hold you responsible.

We… one day, we can have a talk. One day, you can take out all of your anger and frustration on me for the days I forced you to be someone you are not - my friend, someone I admired, my hero, my leader, ...my family. I understand now you never wanted to be any of those things, and that I made a mistake by wanting that from you. Obviously, I wanted something you were never even considering, willing, or able to give. For that, I sincerely apologize. 

One day, we can agree on a final fight, settling our issues down for once and all. One day, you can hate me for what I did to you, for all the Hokages, all the representatives, did to you and your family. One day,” Naruto repeats. “But not now, when there are outer enemies around us that want nothing but death and suffering upon the only place we could ever call home.” 

Sasuke’s one tomoe disappears from his eyes, and his gaze is as black as his soul. 

Naruto stands up. “I know I am not your Hokage, but I am the Hokage of this village, and as such I command you, don't hate me until Madara and Zetsu are defeated. After that, Hokage or not, held responsible or not, sick or at full force, you can come to me, tell me you hate me, want me dead, and fight me. Be the avenger you were born as, not for anyone else, but for yourself, and for what was done to you by the Hokages, by the Council, the Elders, by the ninjas of this village. One day, you can come to me and take all frustration, fear, hate, anger, and aggression on me, for everything this village and its leaders have ever done to you, and your brother. One day, after our enemies are dead, you can finish what you started in the Valley of The End. You can kill me, the child you despised and the Hokage as a symbol of what you hate, for what was done to you. I’ll die by your hand, and I’ll be content with it.” 

Chapter Text

Sasuke looks up, eyes black, face blank, his body tensed. He’s not confused, he’s not angry, he’s not sorry. He listens and understands everything the Hokage is telling him, and it’s just like before. 

He doesn't… feel a thing. 

- I can't believe I’m sssssaying thissss, but I am sssso sssorry, Ssssassssuke. - 

He made the love of his entire life, the only person whom he ever trusted, who ever treated him like a human, the only person who was able to make him stay alive - he made them… believe not only that he hated them, hated with passion , but that he wanted to pretend he’s friend now. Naruto doesn't only think Sasuke is trying to be friends with him because he wasn't able to when he was young, he thinks Sasuke is pretending it all, so he can come back to the village and seek his help in destroying Madara and Zetsu. 

Naruto doesn't even think, not even - he doesn't even - he didn't even give a second to think about Sasuke as anything else than an avenger who wants to kill him, kill the one and only, the love of his life. Naruto believes Sasuke came back here to eventually avenge his family, meaning himself and Itachi, and he’s going to use Naruto to fulfil it. 

Sasuke wants to stop Naruto, wants to tell him the truth, he really, truly needs to tell him that he lied, he never wanted to leave, he wants to tell him the same he told the kids at the Academy, what he admitted to Ino, what he told his brother, what he told in the silence of his solitude to the imagination of Naruto - he wants to tell him everything, he wants to cry and hug him, he wants to kiss him, hide under his protective wing and stay there till death comes for him - 

...but he can't. 

Naruto turns around and leaves with a silent: “Good night, Sasuke.” 

It takes several minutes for Sasuke to calm his mind enough to start crying hysterically, desperately hiccuping, hyperventilating, screaming out of emotional pain he never felt before, one scared tomoe out. Through his tears, he can see the white deer come with grace to the riverside opposite. He drinks the water, looks around, sees red eyes, bows, turns around leaves. Sasuke has never seen anything this beautiful. The tears keep coming, but he’s calm now. Just tears, silence, and Nara forest. 

He wants to die. 

He wants Madara to come, he wants to defeat him, and then he wants some random stupid noone to rip his eyes out and stab him through his brain. He doesn't want to live in a world where the love of his entire life thinks he hates him, and he came back to kill him one day. He doesn't want to live. 

He doesn't want to live. 

He activates the technique his brother created to see with his eyes, and sees darkness. His brother is asleep, and Sasuke wishes he could kiss his temple, crown, cheek, cuddle him and sleep right there, right next to him. He wished things would be different. He wished… he wished… he wished. 

“I wish I'd never been born at all,” Sasuke whispers to the river, to the forest, to the moon. 

The sun is rising, and Sasuke’s mind is blank. He stands up and goes back to the shared flat. It’s empty, the dishes from the dinner are cleaned and put away. The bed is untouched. Sasuke falls into it, closes his eyes and falls asleep, one nightmare right after another. He wakes up soaked in sweat, crying, shaking - just like when he was twelve.

He comes out of the bedroom, looks around the flat and sighs. It’s empty. It’s probably noon, maybe later. There’s breakfast on the table, eggs, vegetables, toast. Multiple tea options on the kitchen counter. Coffee, too. Sasuke fixes himself coffee, takes the toast, sits down, and stares into space. 

He takes an ice-cold shower - he deserves the pain. After so many years, physical pain calms him, grounds him, in a way. He looks down on his body while the cold water hits his back. He forces himself to stay still, not flinch. His entire body tenses, he can feel the weird sense of fear entering his guts, he can pinpoint the second his balls and cock sag closer to his body. Comfortable pain is replaced by stinging pain, the kind you want to run away from. Sasuke calms his mind, meditates through the discomfort, and forces himself stand still.

- Ssssasssuke. That’sssss enough.-

 He holds up his face and lets the water hit his temple, some water gets into his nose and runs back to his throat.

- Ssssasssuke!-

Stopping his body from moving, his reflexes to subdue, all of his instincts to go slack. He opens his mouth as well, matching his breath to accommodate the water in his stomach. His teeth, tonsils and throat sting in freezing, burning cold.

- Fuck, Ssssasssuke!-

Two, three more seconds - unconsciousness is close, as he focuses on breathing in the water. Death is a comfortable companion, now.

-REMEMBER THE ENEMY, SSSASSSUKE-

He switches off the water and throws up all the water he has swallowed. It’s a disgusting, hurtful, humiliating thing to do, but the Snake, imprisoned in his mind, is right.

…He is not allowed die. Yet. Not before Madara is taken care of, and Zetsu at least captured. Even if Naruto does not see him as someone worth of feelings, he has to protect the Naruto. He has to see Itachi one more time before he dies. He cannot give up.

Not yet. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke emerges out of the bedroom one full-blown anxiety and right after panic attack later, only in a towel. It might have been ten minutes, or ten hours. When Sasuke stands in the living area, ready to dress himself, the main door open without knocking. 

“Interesting,” Ino winks at hi, closes the door and leans against them. “Go on.” 

Sasuke offers a small smile and Ino wants to immediately withdraw, assure him that she’s only teasing, but before she forms a sentence, Sasuke drops the towel. As if on command, Ino realizes, and she can't tell if she’s horrified at that thought, or aroused. Not by Sasuke, he doesn't have the body type she would appreciate, nor is he attractive the way she remembers, but by the simple obedience . By following an order even if it makes him uncomfortable, as if he doesn't have an opinion. She remembers that a few of her ANBU friends, those who were in Root since they were children, have the same reaction. The arousal is gone as fast as it came. 

She has a quick look, though, because she is intrigued and curious. Sasuke’s body is covered in a prisoner seal, yes, but underneath there’s so many bruises it would be impossible to count. She has only once seen as many bruises on a single body, and that was Kakashi. Lee comes a close second, but Ino can't appreciate Lee’s scars that much, as she doesn't find him attractive. Kakashi on the other hand looks like a God normally, let alone naked. Sasuke’s scars on his pale, porcelain skin, on the other hand, look like abuse . He’s lean and doesn't have much muscle structure, not like the men she’s used to seeing naked. His cock is smaller, but it’s not erected, so it’s hard to tell, and there’s something about his posture that is just wrong . 

“That was a teasing tone, Sasuke,” she says then, slowly, seriously. “You don't have to obey commands. I’ll tell you when it's a command, since you never finished your training.” 

Sasuke slowly nods and leans down to pick up his clothes without being ashamed of his nudity. He’s a soldier. He’s seen what happened to his brother. He saw men raping women and men. He’s seen war in smaller villages. He’s been present to prostitutes doing their jobs. 

“I’m here to… ask you if you want to join me,” Ino starts, when Sasuke dresses up. “You don't have to, like I said.” 

“And I said I don't want to be a bother,” Sasuke reminds her and comes so close she can hear his heartbeat. “I’m happy to join you.” 

Sasuke thought Naruto would tell his friends what happened between them, but it doesn't seem like it. Ino is treating him the same way she was yesterday.

“I have a lecture with the class you met yesterday. You don't have to meet them or talk to them, I’m fine with you just staying nearby. You don't have to let them know you are there.” 

Sasuke wants to ask why is she giving him the option, why is she offering so much freedom when he is the prisoner here. But to be honest, he slightly fears the answer. 

“I think you are quite good with them. The kids I mean,” Ino continues. “They had a theory lesson with Iruka, and Aoki asked about you.” 

He did? Sasuke doesn't know what he thinks about it, his mind is completely blank. After the crying and the emotional breakdown he had by the riverside, and another one in the bathroom when Orochimaru saved his life, he’s surprised he managed to smile at Ino. 

“You speak less than yesterday,” she notes when they leave the flat.

It’s not an uncomfortable silence, it’s just… “I… didn't know Naruto is… Fox.” 

Ino is silent for a while, and then she averts her gaze. “Did something happen?” 

Sasuke has no idea why he is answering. By her tone, he knows this isn't an interrogation, this isn't a thing she’d report back to the authorities. It might be the fact that Sasuke will die soon, so he doesn't care any more. Might be that he’s desperate and tired of being alone. “No, just… I guess I… should have listened to you all yesterday. Naruto… doesn't believe we ever made it to friends.” 

“You were serious, then,” Ino muses, sounding actually surprised at that. 

Sasuke should feel embarrassed, but he refuses to. There’s no reason to pretend he’s not mourning for the best friend he obviously never had but still lost. 

“He… what did… he tell you, Sasuke?” Ino asks with a serious tone. 

“That he understands why I hate him.” 

Ino isn't stupid. She knows when her friends lie, when they are not telling the truth, and when they are just straight up stupid. But this isn't a fight she can help in. “I remember him in the hospital, after you left.” 

Sasuke doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to know. He’s ashamed, and pissed, and frustrated, and angry. But even if he could go back in time, he would be forced to do exactly the same thing. 

“He was… devastated. And after that, he just… he just matured so quickly even Kiba noticed - and he doesn't notice anything, ever. But he noticed. Sakura was scared shitless, Shikamaru personally asked to be put in the same team with him. Then Naruto left for nearly two years with Jiraiya, and came back… nearly as you see him. He’s… he… Shikamaru says when you take a piece of paper and crumple it, no matter what you do, the paper is never going to be even again. It’s always going to be crumpled, just slightly more narrow, if you try really, really hard, and only after a long, long time. But it's never going to be even. And I see what he means, I just… after what I heard you say yesterday, I thought for a while, that everything might be okay, that you… I’m not saying you’ll hug it out, I don't think… that’s an option. I’m just saying I thought you'd have a conversation, and realize you two have your roots in common. You grew up together, you protected each other, you went through so many dangerous missions, you…” 

Sasuke won't cry. He can't cry - there are no more tears left in him.

Chapter Text

“I thought you'd talk, and you’ll try to work on a normal, functioning relationship. I’m not saying friendship, but… comrades? Teammates? Not even that is possible with the two of you?” 

“After everything I told him, Ino,” Sasuke breathes out and fixes his hair with a strange gesture, Ino’s never seen him do before. “After everything I did to him, I don't think… I don't think I deserve the chance.” 

“That is bullshit, Sasuke,” Ino calls him out. “That is bullshit, you are behaving as if he didn't leave a scar on you - c’mon, I've seen the giant scar on your chest that was left by his rasengan! You see, Naruto’s body is perfect. There isn't a single scar on his body, nowhere. Kurama heals every wound Naruto gets, but that doesn't mean he’s healed inside.” 

Sasuke is the first one to know. He always envied him for his perfect skin, admired it during all the night watches when Naruto slept, and even in the daylight, when his attention was elsewhere. Kakashi has probably seen it. But Kakashi probably knew, anyway. 

“I know how much I hurt him,” Sasuke looks down. 

“I think you hurt him as much as he hurt you. And that the both of you should stop going out of each other’s way, and just… talk. Give yourselves a few days, and try to talk. Get drunk, if you need to. Ask Shikamaru to clear his schedule. I don't care. But go and talk to him. Tell him exactly… what you told the kids. Because if you ask me, you had a perfectly good reason to leave.” 

Sasuke didn't expect anyone to understand his feelings. And he never expected Naruto's close friends to side with him. “Ino?” 

“Hn?” the blonde smiles. It’s nice to hear her own name. It’s nice to know that Sasuke remembered her, and he talks to her, even when he knows she has to report nearly everything they talk about. 

“You don't… have to be nice to me,” Sasuke says, instead of what he wanted initially. 

  - Coward. - 

Ino doesn't show any emotion. “You think I’m nice to you?” 

Sasuke looks up to meet her gaze - she treats him the nicest anyone has ever, except for his brother, of course. Noone ever showed support in a personal manner.

“Yes,” he nods and decides to explain. “Noone… ever sees things from my perspective.” 

Ino doesn't want to be rude, but maybe Sasuke doesn't realize it. Potentially, it’s fair to tell him, because now it seems that while Sasuke had barely anyone talking to him when he was a Konoha citizen, now he just has no one at all, when his brother left for another continent. “It’s… not easy to see something from your perspective when you… don't tell us, or show us, what your perspective is.” 

Sasuke averts his gaze and his cheeks go a bit pink. Only a little, but Ino notices. 

“Don't… don't hide away. I think a lot of people would be on your side, if they knew what your side is. And I think you’d be surprised just how many people would see things from your perspective, if you let them.” 

Sasuke faces forward, but his mind is at Ino’s words. He never thought about it that way, to be honest, and he is ashamed of never really thinking about why noone takes his side. Well, Ino is right - it’s not easy to take someone’s side when you don't know which way they are facing, or even where they stand. 

“When you told the kids about what… happened,” Ino continued after a second, “they… took your side. Aoki is… Aoki especially.” 

That’s because he’s in love with his best friend, too, Sasuke thinks, but doesn't say it out loud. If Ino didn't notice, it’s useless to tell her. 

Ino gestures for him to go inside the building if he wants to, but she reminds him again he doesn't have to be seen. Sasuke never expected such freedom in any of his decisions, and maybe that's why he decided to join her during today’s class.

When they enter the auditorium and the kids recognize Sasuke, they start half whispering to each other. Ino doesn't mind, she didn't bring Sasuke here to expect the class to behave. Essentially, she taught her students their voice should be heard, especially if they think something isn't quite right. 

“Hello, class,” Ino waves. “Sasuke decided to join us again today for our lecture. I’d like to talk about a team today and give you some tips as well as ask you about your teams and how you work as such. Before we start, does anyone have anything to say?” 

“Why do we have a group lecture for team behaviour?” one of the girls asks. 

“Because there are things we, as the older generation, would like to pass on to you. Some of you have team leaders who used to lead us, most of my generation. Some of you have younger leaders. And I would like to tell you how it was before, how it is now, and I would like to show you that the opinion of your generation, creating your rules and fighting for your world is more important than what the older generations teach you,” Ino explains and Sasuke looks at her with admiration. He never expected his generation to make it to actual leaders, people who… don't think for the leaders, but for… for new generations, for the young and those who will hold the power in a few years.

The girl nods and the class quiets down. Then  Ino notices Sasuke’s look. She slowly lowers her head, and he immediately does the same. He never thought he’ll ever respect and admire anyone who grew up in a big clan in Konoha, let alone one of his ex-schoolmates, who all seemed not mature enough, not strong enough to ever make it. 

“I wanted to ask about how you feel in your own teams,” Ino starts lightly. 

“Sometimes good, sometimes bad,” one boy shrugs. 

“Because of your teammates, or your team leader?” Ino asks. 

“Because… I don't always know what… my place in the team is. I mean, yes, Shiru always has a strategy, and when not, he always knows how to run away, or hide. And Hideko is starting as a med-nin, and she always fights, but I don't… know what should I… do.” 

“Understanding the position in your team usually depends on teamleader. What did she tell you about it?” Ino asks. It’s obvious she wants to help him, but also that she wants him to figure it out on his own. 

“Well, she says I have to find what I’m good at,” the boy shrugs. “But I don't know what that is, yet.” 

“What do you like to do the most?” Ino asks. “In the academy, or training field?” 

“Reading, history, politics, all of that,” the kid erupts with energy. “I love to learn about the past and all, but also about the past of other countries!” 

“Then you found what you are best at,” Sasuke, to his own surprise, speaks. 

Ino smiles at him and lets him deal with the kid. 

“But that is never helpful on a mission,” the kid argues. 

“The older you get and the more dangerous missions you’ll take, you’ll find out that knowing your enemy is the essential weapon. When you know the country of your enemy, you have the best odds to help your team to win. Your knowledge of politics is crucial when you want to turn potentially dangerous groups against each other, because the easiest way to win a battle is to have someone else win it for you. And your knowledge of history means you know about past conflicts, and you can use them for your benefit. It also means you know a lot of tactics that were used in the past, and you can easily predict the behaviour and strategy of your enemies, which gives an advantage to your strategist as well as the first-line fighter,” Sasuke explains. “You are very important for your team and one day you will be very important to your hokage.” 

The boy seems suddenly happy, pleased that he’s not useless, and that someone as strong as Sasuke told him that. 

Chapter Text

The class is whispering louder now, and Ino gives them a second, before she speaks again. “I have to agree with Sasuke, but I also have a suggestion for you. You say you are not good at combat, and you aren't suitable for med-nin, and you don't see yourself as the strategist. But as far as I remember, you were always good with chakra control. Sakura-san uses chakra control for perfect focus, meaning, she can focus her chakra into her eyes and hands while operating, or into her legs on long distance walks, or into different body parts during combat. Naruto-sensei can do the same, but his amount of chakra is so excessive it’s ridiculous, and his perfect chakra control shows, especially in the sealing techniques. He became so good he can now have a look at the seal and understand it so well he can break it or duplicate it. Chakra control is also crucial for direct fights - with perfectly controlled chakra, you can attack your opponent's chakra-points. It's similar to what Uchihas or Hyuugas do with their kekkei genkais, but it’s also what I’ve learned to do. Chakra control is something you work on your entire life, and it’s definitely something to be proud of.” 

Sasuke is overwhelmed by Ino’s approach. She actually helps her students, she’s teaching them, guiding them, giving them support but also actually helping them improve. She’s a great teacher, and she definitely chose the best career she could, because if Sasuke received this kind of education, this amount of help and care, maybe things would be different for him too. 

“Chakra control isn't something you are always born with,” Sasuke explains further. “I am the perfect example of that.” 

“You are?!”

“Wait,” Ino is taken aback too. “What?” 

Sasuke nods. He finds it important to tell the kids that the older generation isn't perfect. “I had to learn chakra control the hard way, and I was undoubtedly the worst one in it. I didn't know how to focus, and my anger issues were not helping. It took a lot of pain and time for me to be able to learn this,” he points at the prisoner seal that can be seen peeking from under his shirt on his neck and the side of his face. “And I never learned how to attack direct chakra points in an opponent's body to use it in combat. Even if I tried really hard.” 

“You are still young,” Ino reminds him gently, as if forgetting they aren't alone. “And you can always ask your friends to help you with it.” 

Sasuke isn't able to hold her gaze. He doesn't know how to deal with the emotions he already has for her - the understanding and the freedom and support she gives him mean the entire world to him right now. 

“Sasuke-san is right,” Ino says to the class, diverting the attention from Sasuke for now. “Chakra control doesn't always come naturally, and therefore you have to use it to your benefit, if it does.” 

“Who can help me with chakra control?” the boy asks, and seems much more excited about it now. 

“I’m not sure if your teamleader is the best option. Maybe you can go around the other team leaders to help you. The best at chakra control is definitely Tsunade-sama, but for personal reasons, she never took a team to lead, as well as she is not suited to teach. I personally studied for a while under Jiraiya-sama, however, he is sadly not an option any more. That’s why I consider the best teacher Kakashi,who isn't available now, but will be in the future. For now, recommend Sakura-san and of course Naruto-sensei, but we know both of them are very busy. It’s always good to seek any chakra-related info from Neji-san, and if you are not scared of him, you may ask Ibiki. You can always ask me, I’ll do my best, but if I were you guys, and wanted to learn something about chakra levels and how to use them, I’d ask Sasuke-san,” Ino winks at him, “but I have to warn you, learning chakra control and using it to your benefits usually takes a lot of time, and like Sasuke-san already mentioned, also a lot of pain.” 

Ino probably expected the burst of excited half-whispering, and while she looks at him apologetically, she only mentioned him because it’s the truth, generally Sasuke doesn't mind helping the kids. He would never think he’d find himself being a sensei, let alone enjoying it. But it might be the fact he’s not alone, and that Ino is here, talking him through it. 

“Is there anyone else who wants to talk about their position in the team?” 

There is a girl who awakened her kekkei genkai pretty late and is afraid she’ll never be as good as the rest of their clan. Then another girl who feels pressured into being a med-nin.

“Do you know why it’s always girls who take med-nin status?” Sasuke asks the class out of the blue, surprising himself the most again. 

The class shakes their heads, and even Ino seems unsure. “Status quo, I think? I mean, it’s because girls usually aren't really a match towards guys, especially when it comes to taijutsu or direct combat.” 

“Naruto-sensei and me are both men, and Sakura-san can beat us both up at the same time,” Sasuke argues, “with her hands tied up.” 

The class laughs, and even Ino giggles, nodding in agreement. 

“Yes, but that is Sakura-san,” the girl reminds him. “She’s not like other girls.” 

That information somehow stings - that kids find Sakura a role model, someone who is “not like other girls”. Sasuke feels personally responsible for that fact because she was in love with him, and he refused her multiple times, in terrible ways - and then he let her find nearly dead Naruto after a fight that should have never happened. Sasuke doesn't think he can ever look the pink-haired kunoichi in her eyes without feeling guilty. He feels responsible, and he doesn't know how to fix that. But he owes Sakura to teach these little girls better. 

He takes a second, looks around the class to see the girls in there. There are issues they need to know about, issues that are withheld from them. 

“I used to think that girls should be protected for obvious reasons; because they are precious and important where men are not, but it’s not that. The reason why you might be pressured into a med-nin status isn't because you are a girl, or because it’s a lesser position, or because you aren't as skilled, powerful or because men are naturally better killers or spies,” Sasuke frowns, talking mostly to the floor. “It’s because you need something that can't be learned, to provide Medicare. It’s… not anything degrading, to be a med-nin, if that’s what you are afraid of,” Sasuke tells the girl directly. “It’s actually that most men aren't able to be med-nins. Trust me, I tried as hard as I could, and one of the reasons Orochimaru is a legendary sannin is exactly this, he is a male med-nin, which is very rare. That’s because to be a Med-nin, to provide safety and care, you require empathy, you need to… be a good person, a person who wants to help people, and women have the possibility to become mothers, which means they aren't trained as well as men in their childhood to “get rid of all empathy, all feelings, all emotions, to become better shinobi”. It’s because… well, I honestly think it’s because murderers, abusers, aggressors, predators… are men. That also means that this trait is most common to a certain extent in all men, if you ask me. Empathy isn't something you can learn or teach, I think you must… be born with it. This trait also isn't something you can train becoming better at. I’ve been training for a long, long time, and I never excelled. I was barely able to learn the basics. But when I tried to teach my brother, he was able to get the basic medical techniques in mere days, without the months and months of practise I had to endure to be able to learn what he did. What I want to explain here is… that I understand you feel pressured into becoming a med-nin, but please don't take it the wrong way. You aren't pressured into it because you are a woman and because that's what women are supposed to be , or because that’s what all women do, or because ‘it’s usually a girl’s job’, or because you are expected to be a mother one day, and therefore protected and held close to the village - no. Not at all.

What the elders, mostly men in power over you, the people who want to stay hidden and manipulate you and rule you, will tell you: become a med-nin. It’s useful, and you want to be useful to your team, don't you? But in reality, what they mean when they tell you to be important for your team, is rather this: we, men, need you to become a med-nin, because we need you to save our life one day, because I, a man, am unable to  - because of who I am as a person. Because you are a good, caring woman, you are someone who has emotions and feelings, you are someone who helps people, while I am a ruthless murderer, soldier, shinobi, who only takes lives, meaning I can't save any . 

Eventually, when you get older, you’ll see that certain men in power, certain people who believe they were born to “change the world and rule it”, tend to make you believe you need to be critical for them, to them, meaning… meaning that everything important you do must be found important in the eyes of the person in power. It’s also a good trait to see if you are being manipulated: if the person in power can change the opinion of you, yourself by a simple statement, they aren't your leader - they are a tyrant. 

Because you are supposed to find yourself important for you , your own benefit, not for anyone else. Your life means your rules, and your happiness and self-worth does not depend on whether you are important to your superior, especially if they are a male in a leading position.

And speaking of med-nins, especially about female med-nins, that exactly is the issue here. You are manipulated by soldiers in power, by men, to become important not for yourself, but for them . Being a med-nin is, to men in power, a way to manipulate women into being able to take care of them. Being a med-nin also means less knowledge of politics, and less time for training to become an ANBU, which also means women don't receive the info men ANBU and elite teams, also mostly men, have. This is the way your leaders manipulate you to know less, and also to be able to save their lives. 

You see, they believe, for some reason, that their comfort is more important than your life. 

I think… I think it’s important for young people, especially girls who feel pressured into it, to know about this point of view.”

Chapter Text

There is a stunned silence in the room, and even Ino looks at him differently now. She’s not looking at a nuke-nin, she’s not looking at a former classmate, and she’s not watching him for being a ninja - she’s watching him, studying him, as a man . Not like she had when she gave him a once-over while he was naked earlier today. But as a man with opinions, a man who… thinks about issues, has an opinion on politics, on women, on social issues. She’s… it takes Sasuke a while to place the way she’s perceiving him now, the look on her face, but eventually it clicks; she finally realized he’s a human, too. Sasuke never expected to be given as much. 

“I never thought about it like this,” Ino says slowly after a second, forgetting about the class she’s supposed to teach. “But you are right, I think. I mean, yes, now that I think about it, usually your first team leader is supposed to aim all the girls to become med-nins. Never the male ones. And when I come back to my own decision about med-nin status, I felt… a bit pressured into it too. I mean, their strategy was always like ‘you’ll be really helping the team’ as if I wasn't already before? Like as if, without the med-nin status, I wouldn't be a part of the team, not a real, helping, participating, equal part of the team.” 

Sasuke nods. “Dog never did that to Sakura.” 

Ino’s smirk is a second too late, but she realizes soon enough what he actually meant by that remark. “He knows he was a terrible sensei, Sasuke. I’m sure you both were aware of that.” 

“He was too dangerous to be kept in ANBU, that’s why sandaime sent him to teach,” Sasuke explains. “And he was the only one who’d be able to take care of the Kyuubi, if needed. He was never meant to be any kind of advisor.” 

“But even then, he never made any member of the team feel like they didn't belong,” Ino reminds him. 

That is a knowledge she doesn't have from Dog, Sasuke realizes. He’s sure she knows that from Naruto, because this Naruto, this adult, handsome, attractive, talented, strong and competent Naruto, is a good enough leader to realize as much. Sasuke agrees with a simple gesture, and Ino turns around back to the class. The kids seem to be completely taken aback by everything the young man their sensei introduced says. 

“Do you think you’d be a good sensei, then, Sasuke-san?” Aoki, who was listening to the adults more as the chatting of his peers. 

The class goes silent, focused on Sasuke’s potential answer, who is still slightly disturbed by the “Sasuke-san”. Sasuke looks shortly at Ino, who sends him a supportive smile. The real answer is, I'm not human enough . The answer he provides for the kids is: “I would never ask for the honour of teaching the next generations, for I don't think I deserve it.” 

“Why don't you deserve it?” Rainmaru, as always the loudest, wants to know. 

There’s silence, and it’s obvious Sasuke doesn't want to tell the truth, but he also doesn't want to lie. Ino is quick to come to his rescue. “Do you remember when I told you that my best friend threatened our friendship, if I refuse to take the place of a sensei?” 

“You told us you didn't want to deal with snotty brats all day, and that Shikamaru-sensei had to trick you into taking the job,” Rainmaru calls her out. 

Sasuke doesn't want to smile at such a blatant lie, but also a scenario that probably happened in their life, probably many times. He hides the smile from the class, mostly, but not from Ino, who can sense it. 

“Well, you were ten when you asked me how I knew I wanted to teach. I think you are old enough for the real story,” Ino walks over to the teacher's table and leans her thighs on it. “It was right after the attack on Konoha. You have to understand that not only the attack was the start of understanding the grand schemes the elders and the sandaime ran, but also about my generation taking over the leading role of the village. I mean, it wasn't only about politics, and power, it was about our future, but most of all, it was about… your future. The goal we had, the one that my generation, my leader and my future hokage, believe in, is that when we step away from the leading position when you will take over the village, we want you to know how to tell the difference between being a leader and being a dictator. We want you to be able to choose a leader not because of us, or the older generations, or elders themselves want it, but because you believe in that person, because you think you know who your leader is and why.” 

Ino stops  here to make sure all eyes are on Rainmaru - and they are. Sasuke is watching the young white eyed kid, then eyes Aoki, and the Hyuuga heir. Aoki watches his best friend with pure love, but the young heir is… there’s something different in his eyes. It’s obvious the Hyuuga is madly crushing on Rainmaru, but that’s not it. There must be something between them, something about Rainmaru saving the Hyuuga on a mission or something. Sasuke feels himself getting invested. 

“For that, I was chosen to be the one who will be responsible for you guys, and for your chuunin teachers. I’ll be the one who decides what you have to know to survive as a generation after the wars. We won all of them for you to live in peace. And I… I felt as if the entire pressure of this, the goal of us, was solemnly given to me. As if… as if I was the only one who could do it because no other in my generation is teaching you guys, just me - Naruto-sensei is helping as much as he can, but most of the responsibility is on me. And I didn't want to - It was… it was just too much. And I was scared I’ll do something wrong,  having already the entire clan on my shoulders soon, and now you guys as our future, it was…” 

Sasuke doesn't know why he does what he does next, but he can't stop himself. He reaches out and gently touches Ino’s upper arm, as if to… comfort her. Ino’s head immediately turns to him, surprised he did what he did, but also surprised she didn't… you see, she’s a ninja, and when a stranger reaches towards her without her knowing, she should be aware of it before it even happens - she didn't even hear Sasuke inch closer to her, let alone to sense it. 

Sasuke might not be her friend, but he definitely isn't an enemy, not when he touched without alerting her ninja senses. She makes sure to report this fact back to her authorities.

In the meantime, she half-smiles at the Uchiha heir, and continues the explanation. “I felt as if I was given a responsibility I wanted to run away from - it was just too much for me to handle. Not that I wouldn't be able to do it, but because I wasn't sure that I want to do it.” 

Chapter Text

There’s uneasy silence after this confession. Sasuke understands - he felt the same when he needed to leave. 

“I felt as if everyone were against me. I felt… I wanted to fight, and I wanted to die a hero just like everyone in my clan - in ANBU, protecting the village and fighting for us, for my clan as well as for my friends, protecting the village from attackers. So I applied for ANBU, and went on a hate-rage when I found out I wasn't accepted. At first, I thought it was a punishment - I declined hokage’s direct order, after all. But then… Naruto-sensei had to come to me personally, and you know how much he hates it when he has to be professional. But he was. And he explained to me that protecting the village doesn't only mean to lead attacks. It doesn't mean just to take missions and do heroic things. Protecting the village also means managing internal affairs. And raising a new generation of ninja is the highest priority of internal affairs, especially now. Konoha’s ninja in training were attacked first handedly three times in the past twenty years: the Kyuubi attack was directed at hospital, orphanage, and academy, then the chuunin exams attack performed by Orochimaru and Suna, where 60% of gennins and chuunins died, and then lastly Pein’s attack two years ago, that was directed at academy, and hospital again. You all know we lost a lot of senseis, but also a lot of chuunins who could become senseis as well. But the worst of all was the terrible loss of young ninjas, who didn't even complete their first or second level. 

That all only meant that two years ago, ninjas in training became the most protected of this village, as well as there are fewer missions among ANBU to allow them to form relationships and start a family. 

And I understood Naruto's point of view, I did. But that didn't make me believe that I was supposed to give up my shinobi career in ANBU, when most of my friends didn't have to. Naruto was still ANBU and so was Neji, Sai, Shino and Kiba,” she smiles now, obviously amused by her own arrogance to feel shame about it now. “I refused my hokage, and I refused my leader - Naruto was an ANBU captain after all -, and I went on a mission with ANBU anyway. When I came back, Shikamaru took me for a walk, and he… he explained to me that he understands my reasons, and he agrees that it’s not fair. He told me he will do everything in his power to keep me partially involved in ANBU, and that I'll always be allowed to go on ANBU missions when I’m not needed in the village. He told me that he loves me and treasures me as one of his best friends, but… if I refuse to help this village when it needs me, he will never speak to me, ever again.” 

Sasuke doesn't remember everyone in their class, and he certainly doesn't remember all of their relationships. But he knew two things for sure - He’s in love with Naruto, and Ino-Shika-Cho will die together. Shikamaru refusing her friendship - that must have been the quickest sobering up in Ino’s entire life. 

“You believed him?” Aoki questions after a while. “That he will be able to stop talking to you?” 

Ino had thought about it too, two years ago. “Yes. He would.” 

“Why?” 

“Because he chose to ally with his hokage,” Ino smiles at the young boy in a beautiful way. 

“But why?” Aoki doesn't understand. 

Sasuke can't help the gentle smile - the one he inherited, just like his soft brother, but the one he never used before he understood there are reasons for him to smile. “The Will of Fire isn't a myth nor a lie, Aoki.” 

The black haired boy studies the Sharingan with carelessly unprotected emotions, as if he isn't sure what he thinks about it. 

“A skilled shinobi never shows his true emotions to his enemy,” Sasuke reminds the young ninja gently. 

Aoki freezes in his spot, remembers this is an adult, a might-be sensei, and remembers his manners as well as training. His blue eyes pierce through Sasuke as if weighing the possibility of him being wrong, but Sasuke can't tell, without his own chakra disturbance, what he decided. Emotions hidden well. 

“Good job,” Sasuke praises him with a small smile. 

Ino watches their interaction, studies Sasuke and his positive relations with kids, and gets sad that Sasuke can't be granted a class to teach on his own. He’d be amazing in it. 

“While you focus on covering your true intentions and your emotions, don't forget to focus on your chakra traits. If you have a secret to guard in front of an enemy, for example in a spying mission, you have to focus on hiding intentions, but not chakra. If you are covering your chakra traits in front of a shinobi, a shinobi can then tell you are hiding something from them. This might lead to an unsuccessful mission, do you know why?” 

“Because a shinobi is trained not to trust someone who is hiding their chakra traits,” Aoki answers immediately. 

Sasuke nods, and for some reason, he feels proud of that kid. Of the class, really. He doesn't know why. 

-It’ssss ssssuppossssed to feel like thissss. Ussss, teachhhhing ssssomeone. Raisssssing a new generatttttttion.-

Sasuke can tell Aoki’s opinion didn't change, and he still doesn't understand why Ino chose to do as Shikamaru and her hokage needed. Why she let go of her ANBU career and started teaching. He’s reminding Sasuke of himself so much, he wants to shake him and tell him not to repeat the mistakes he’s done. Ino senses Aoki’s (and some others) uneasiness about the way she explained things, and understands this is an important issue. She hopes Sasuke will handle the situation to prove to both, the ANBU commander, who’s watching from afar right now, and the elders in her report, that he’s not only loyal to Konoha, but also understands the Will of Fire. 

“Making decisions,” Sasuke starts after a second, looking mostly at Aoki, “as a shinobi, is never a decision you make for yourself. The decision, especially if you have a talent, a kekkei genkai, or you are exceptionally smart, is always going to affect the village.” 

Good point, Sasuke, Ino concludes in her mind as she discreetly nods. 

“Just like you leaving the village,” Aoki points out. 

Stings, but it’s the truth. “Yes.” 

Chapter Text

“Shikamaru-sensei told us that your leaving after the attack on Konoha was… well, a big deal,” Rainmaru joins the conversation. “That someone like you, someone with… a kekkei genkai, especially you as a sharingan user, fled the village, that it was… you did an awful thing, in the eyes of the hokage and the elders.” 

“Unprecedented high treason,” Sasuke mumbles under his breath. 

“What was that?” Rainmaru asks. 

“You were not charged,” Ino reminds him. She doesn't say “yet” at the end of the sentence, but Sasuke heard it, anyway. And the ANBU commander, who’s watching and listening not far away, is aware of that fact too. 

“Unprecedented high treason,” Sasuke repeats and lifts his head. “What I did, leaving the village to find and stay with the nuke-nin who attacked this village, is unprecedented high treason. The worst thing you can do in the eyes of… the village, as well as your comrades. Essentially, I betrayed everyone with my decision.” 

Aoki pays extra attention to Ino now. The way she watches her ex-classmate, the way she brought potentially dangerous person to them. Would Ino-sensei ever risk the harm of ninjas-in-training? Would Ino-sensei ever take such a risk, if Uchiha-san was a convicted traitor to this village? 

He straightens up in his seat when he realizes Ino decided she believes in the Uchiha, and she understands his reasons. 

“You knew leaving this village was high treason when you left, Uchiha-san?” the Hyuuga kid asks. 

Sasuke seems surprised that the gentle kid decided to confront him. He expected Aoki to talk, or the bold girl from before. “I… I knew, yes.” 

“You didn't leave the village because you wanted to betray it, but because you needed to protect Naruto-san, our future Hokage and therefore the village,” the Hyuuga kid continues. “And you still… is that really a high treason?” 

Sasuke doesn't know. “That’s… that’s not my decision to make.” 

“Well, I… I will, one day, rule the Hyuuga clan as the clan leader, but also, one day, as an elder and a possible elder to this village,” the Hyuuga explains. “And if you… if I was to decide about your fate, I’d decide to honour you for taking down the murderer of Sandaime. A task nobody, not the ANBU, not the elite jounins, and neither of the sannin of this village, had been able to complete.” 

Sasuke looks up in disbelief, silently seeking Ino’s eyes. It was actually the reason why Sasuke can't just be charged, Cougar knows. Tsunade insisted Sasuke went on a mission only he could manage to succeed in, and she even reached as far as telling the elders she was the one giving him the order to go. Naruto only said as much about the issue, but Ino isn't going to mention any of this to Sasuke - not when he’s being watched. 

“I… I am thankful for your kindness, Hatori-san,” Sasuke bows to the child elegantly. “But I’m not sure whether I deserve it. Whatever my personal issues, I left this village hurting people on my way out, my comrades, the people I was supposed to ally with. And I’m afraid my actions can't be pardoned this easily.” 

“You knew that you'd become a nuke-nin, a traitor, when you left the village. But you needed to leave to protect your best friend,” Rainmaru concludes. “You explained it well enough, and now you are telling us that this isn't an excuse? If you ask me, what you did was heroic . What you did should put you right next to Naruto-sensei. What excuse do the Elders have, to charge you with High Treason, after you saved the entire village, including them?!”

The “what the fuck is this bullshit, then?!” Rainmaru doesn't say because he’s sure Ino-sensei would slaughter him for this language, but the entire class (including Sasuke) hears it in his voice. 

Sasuke sighs. He wished it was this easy. “Making decisions… is never easy. And while we all wish the world to be black and white because everything would be much easier, things rarely are that simple. Most of the time in your life you find out that one situation has multiple solutions, but only few of them are manageable. Most of the time you’ll see that problems just don't have any solution at all, and you’ll have to deal with it. And sometimes, the issue would be possible to solve, if one or two things worked differently in life. What… I’m trying to say is… I knew I was committing high treason. I knew that if I won't leave, my best and only friend will die sooner rather than later, and with that, the village will be defeated. And I knew that by leaving him, I might… I might never… I was aware by leaving him, he might never be my friend because he’s not going to see things from my perspective, no matter how… I left for him. I knew that by saving his life, and possibly saving the village, I might lose him forever as my friend.” 

Silence.

“And you… you still came… back?” Aoki asks with disbelief written all over his face. 

It’s the same question, still the same issue, just as with Ino and taking a responsibility she didn't want to take. 

“It’s the same as with Ino-san, isn't it,” the Hyuuga heir realizes. 

“Yes,” Sasuke half smiles. “I was too young by the time I left to swear to Konoha. But even then, this is still my village, and even if you have no ties to me, I already fought for your future, I killed people to keep you safe, I spied on our enemies’ plans to make sure we are one step ahead. I didn't do this because someone asked me to do it. I didn't do it because I wanted to be a hero - I was doing it because it’s what I believe in. You - new generation of this village, you and your siblings, and your future children, and their future, too. Noone forced me to do anything. I just came across one point in my life, and I saw what the real Will of Fire is, and decided to do the right thing. Therefore, you are right, Hatori-san,” Sasuke repeats slowly. “It’s the same thing what happened to Ino-sensei.” 

Most of the kids understand now. It’s something they might feel in the future too, when they are going to face a similar issue. The only one who absolutely isn't okay with this, is Aoki. Ino is obviously worried about it, and Sasuke understands her reason why. This kid could easily become another great nuke-nin. Orochimaru had been dangerous and hard to get to, yes, but in direct attack, he’s not that strong.

-I am right here, Sssassuke.-

And Itachi himself, the most famous Konoha’s nuke-nin, isn't at all a nuke-nin. But this one, Aoki, could potentially mean devastating damage to this village, if he ever decided the Will of Fire just doesn't exist.

“It’s - ehm, why… why are you calling me with honours, Sasuke-san?” he’s quite cute, all blushing like that. He briefly compares him to what he remembers of the Hyuuga princess of their class. Same eyes and complexion, but where the princess is dull and easy to mistake for any other girl, this one has… an aura around him. Sasuke can't say what kind, but this kid might be stronger than Hizashi-san. 

“There are… it’s a story for another time and another place,” Sasuke stalls and looks at Ino. He can't just take over their schedule like this. He was supposed to sit and be silent, maybe sometimes answer a question. Not talk most of the time. 

-Jussssst admit you like it, Sssssassssuke-kun.-

“Do you need us to beg you?” Ino asks with a devilish smile, and Sasuke catches himself sticking the tip of his tongue at her. Ino gasps for air - because she never imagined Sasuke would do something as childish as this, and Sasuke goes all red. He had no idea he had this in himself - because they both obviously understood “begging” in a completely different scene than this one. 

The class softly laughs at their banter, and Sasuke thinks about yesterday’s conversation she had with Naruto. It’s probably easy to slip into banter with her, that even someone as emotionless, heartless and cold as Sasuke has to give in into her charm. 

“It’s,” Sasuke starts to focus on something else just so he would stop blushing. It’s not professional. “A long story. It all starts with one of my mightiest ancestors, Uchiha Madara.” 

Chapter Text

Sasuke isn't sure if the class knows about this name and looks back at Ino. She shakes her head to let him know the kids have no idea yet. 

“He is believed to be the strongest of my clan, a shinobi so great he became the leader before he was twenty. He was given the opportunity to become the hokage, the first hokage of this village he helped to build, but Hashirama Senju was more popular, therefore Uchiha Madara let him take the leading position, and he himself operated from the shadows. Uchiha Madara was the one who gave this village its name, Village of the Hidden Leaf. He was the one who started operation ROOT, that was later on, after Madara’s… death,” Sasuke chooses after a while. The kids don't have to know everything just yet, “ruled and perfected by Danzo in our time. Do you know who it is?” 

“He’s the one that is yelling at my chuunin-sister!” one of the boys at the back yells. “He’s in prison.” 

“Yes, he is,” Ino jumps in. “Do you know why?” 

“Because he wanted to hurt Naruto-san,” Rainmaru sulks down to his chair. “I don't like him,” he mutters mostly to himself.

“That, too,” Ino smiles politely at her favourite. “But mostly, Danzo was operating behind Sandaime and the elder's back on the matters of this village.” 

-If that’ssss what you thhhhink hassss happened…-

Sasuke doesn't usually react to Orochimaru’s shit talk, but this one catches his attention. He needs to ask about it when they are alone, or maybe he could wait for the interrogation. It shouldn't take long.

“And he threatened young shinobi and shinobi in training. He’s the perfect example of a terrible tyrant.” 

-He wasss no leader.-

So it’s finally starting to come out, the entire picture. Danzo really was just someone Madara kept as a useful toy. How many of these useful toys Madara has…? And was Orochimaru one of them? 

…

Now the Snake is silent, isn't he? Sasuke refocuses back on the class, seeing Ino is finishing her lecture about Danzo and the kids want more of the original story. 

“At that time, big clans were always fighting. Senju and Uchiha were the biggest ones, but they knew that starting a village wasn't safe, protected only by two big clans. There were many people hurt by the wars, and a lot of new people were coming: civilians, but also young ninja who wanted to be trained and fight under bigger villages to have higher chances to win, and eventually to live in peace. One of the first small clans who joined the village were Nara, Yamanaka, and Hyuuga.” 

The class calms down again, the story is interesting. And by the way Ino listens to every word, she didn't hear about this part of their history either. 

“At that time, clans had different relationships than they have today. Back then, the war was still a common thing and the clans were used to collaborate closely. Some relationships between allied clans are still kept today,” Sasuke looks at Ino with soft expression. 

“That means even your grandma had a friend from the Nara clan, Ino-sensei?” the girl with violet hair asks. 

Ino laughs but nods: “Yes, actually. One of my cousins is best friends with Shikaku’s youngest sister, but it’s more than that. Our families are very close, they have dinners with the main bloodline family, and they always help each other, they also share a part of their land together.”

“Nara and Yamanaka clans were bonded when they came to this village already, usually marrying each other,” Sasuke confirms her words. Ino seems happy their history leads so far to the history. “Akimichi clan - that was one of the smallest clans with unusual powers, and Nara were smart enough to form a relationship with them that also lasts until this day.” 

He looks around but doesn't see anyone who might be from the Akimichi clan. He’s sure there’s no Nara kid here, he’d recognize it straight away. 

“Clan Senju had strong ties with most clans,” Sasuke continues. “They asked Nara to be the counsellor of the leader of the village. They asked the Yamanaka to lead the interrogation and create the department today known as ANBU-CONS. They are the leaders of it even nowadays, together with a small but powerful Morino clan who was the head of spying for the same department.Aburame clan became crucial with their powers to both, ANBU and spying, honourable positions for great shinobi given to them by the First and later Second Hokage. The only ones who didn't want to be in debt to Senju, were Hyuugas.” 

Now that’s the part that is interesting and the class stirs with small whispers here and there, and even Ino didn't expect it. Hyuugas were always on the side of Konoha, always . She was sure of it. It’s also this exact moment Sasuke can feel someone else’s chakra disturbance - there’s someone watching them, someone strong, powerful, a kekkei genkai user, who is masking his presence. Sasuke hopes it’s Naruto, he hopes he’s listening, and he knows Sasuke is on Konoha’s side. But at the same time, he’s certain it’s just some ANBU who reports back, just like Ino does. 

“There was a task for Hyuugas the Senju wanted to offer, but it went unnoticed not because Hyuugas were prideful, or because they were arrogant. They simply said that their loyalty can't be bought, and that defending the village they live in comes from their responsibility and pride as residents, protecting their home, not as a debt to the current leader that will change in a few years. Uchiha Madara, upon listening to this argument, went jealous over such a mature and smart decision, because at that time, Uchihas already accepted a gifted position Senju gave them - they became the officers of internal affairs, making sure to manage order inside Konoha, between the civilians as well as ninjas in exchange for sending all trained Sharingan bearers to fight for Konoha as their Elite Shinobi or ANBU. In essence, Hyuugas chose to reside in Konoha, and decided to fight for the right to stay and live in peace. Uchihas were in debt to Senju, who gave them power over internal affairs, but took the best Sharingan Bearers to fight for their missions. 

Hyuugas prioritized their clan over the current leader, their village over their clan. That way, the village can never decide about a Byakugan Bearer - however much they’d want to. 

Based on thinking Hyuugas don't like Senju, which wasn't the case at all, Uchihas went to the small Hyuuga clan and offered to share some kekkei genkai information, thinking that the enemy of their enemy is their friend, and that Huugas could be their ally against Senju. Uchihas were also curious about Byakugan and dojutsus. Hyuugas accepted the alliance, wanting to know more about doujutsus as well, and that’s how an unwanted relation between clans was created. Unwanted by Senju, of course. Hyuugas granted some of their daughters to Uchiha sons, curious if Byakugan and Sharingan can be awakened in one body. Sadly all the Hyuuga women died during childbirth. Hyuugas blamed Uchihas for this curse and cancelled the agreement, obviously not wanting to see more of their women die when it was proven Byakugan and Sharingan cause death, which of course left Uchihas, who were famous for their anger issues, in hate for life towards Hyuugas.

The leader of Hyuuga was elegant, smart, and their clan had rules noone saw into, they were united and followed their leader. Uchihas were not united in opinion, not even in who should lead the clan. Where Hyuugas were strict, and their clan grew bigger and more successful each year, Uchihas were fighting and killing each other for power, growing smaller and less important each day. By the time Konoha was settled as a village, at the end of the Second war, the small Hyuuga clan had as many active shinobi in duty as Uchihas, who at the beginning were at least five times bigger. Above that, Hyuugas had more people in elite ANBU units. 

Like I already said, Hyuugas were the clan who first valued the village for all their citizens and for the meaning to them, as they never had a residence they could call home, and valued all people the same, meaning all shinobi and civilians held the same importance. Hyuugas fight for the village above the leaders of it, but also above themselves. Hyuugas are believed to be the first ones who awakened the will of Fire, not Senju, as the sandaime made my generation believe.”

Chapter Text

Ino had no idea about most of this, she only knows the old saying of “Hyuugas and Uchihas aren't on friendly terms” she used to hear when she was younger. She didn't know about the past, but she also had no idea it wasn't the Senju who “first awakened the will of Fire”. Apparently, Tsunade was the first hokage who had their shit together, and the first as well as last Senju to have any common sense. 

“So our clans hated each other,” Hatori speaks first. “Because of some past mistakes, and a deal that got broken.” 

“And because Uchihas can't live with the knowledge they aren't the best in this world,” Sasuke chuckles. 

“Do you believe you are the best in this world, Sasuke-san?” Aoki asks, and there’s… something in his voice, something that suggests Aoki is projecting. Like he wants an anti-hero he can make into his role-model, an example of bad influence worth following. 

“I believe nobody should be granted a power they can't handle,” Sasuke carefully explains. “Especially not one Shinobi, however talented. Nobody is untouchable, and nobody should be granted unlimited power, especially someone who believes they are better than everybody else. All Shinobi are human, and all humans make mistakes. Therefore, if you ever hear about the downfall of Uchihas, don’t believe it was when they were slaughtered. Their end has been coming for a long, long time, and they brought it upon themselves on their own, without any outsiders’ fault.” 

Aoki’s expression changes now, and Sasuke can tell he's disappointed. It’s like Aoki wants to find anything to turn against the village. As if he’s tempted himself, for whatever reason. “It sounds… as if you are happy it happened.” 

“I’m not happy about my family being gone,” Sasuke shakes his head. “I’m happy the hatred and the anger… are no longer a threat to the Will of Fire.” 

Aoki doesn't speak this time, Hatori beats him to it: “I thought… when I learned about the Uchiha modern history, I thought… I thought you were… ehm. Seeking revenge, Sasuke-san.” 

“Revenge, hm,” Sasuke murmurs. “Do you think revenge is… a nindo, or rather a path, a goal?” 

Now Aoki’s expression softens. He looks back at Rainmaru, and the white-eyed kid looks right back at him, a calming smile on his lips. “No… it shouldn't be a goal.” 

Why is Aoki thinking like this? Has he got a reason to seek revenge? Did he lose someone? Did he lose someone dear to him in the attacks on Konoha, or even before? 

“It was… what I was told, when I asked about you,” Hatori explains after a while. “I was told you left to seek revenge, and you left to become a traitor, to never come back. You went against everyone’s wish.” 

Sasuke is aware of that fact. He doesn't blame the Hyuugas - or anyone, really - thinking Sasuke left on his own accord to achieve his own dreams. “It’s an old saying, Hatori-san, that Uchihas and Hyuugas aren't on friendly terms. You know both sides of the story now, the side this village believes in, and mine. Which one you decide to believe in, that one will become the truth - at least for you.” 

Aoki still seems conflicted. “You - you left the village for your best friend while knowing you might be treated as a nuke-nin, imprisoned and even killed, if you ever come back. And you still… you still came back. You still… you still are back here, even when you told us you were not even sure if the village won't imprison you, even if you knew your best friend might never accept you back because you hurt him. You knew all of that. You knew that by leaving, you are committing high treason, and you… you still came back. I don't…” Aoki looks around, as if to see if everyone is as confused and as affected as him. 

The class is confused, but they seem understanding, somehow, they somehow accepted, somehow understood that he came back for… well. They don't know what for, but they seem to understand that he had his reasons. Aoki doesn't get it. Frankly, neither does Hatori. 

“You still, - knowing the possible consequences… came back,” Aoki shrugs in frustration. 

Sasuke honestly doesn't have a sufficient answer for that, not really. “I never left the village in my thoughts. I never refused the Will of Fire. I never gave away any information about Konoha to anyone. I never left the village for the purpose of leaving it, betray it or destroy it. I needed to find someone who will teach me. The person wasn't in this village, and that was the reason I left. I knew there will be consequences for my actions by the time I decided to leave, and I still am now that I came back. But those are the consequences I decided to face. If my death for leaving is what the village wants, then so be it. If the next leaders of this village deem me as an enemy for leaving them for my personal reasons, then I understand.” 

“You didn't leave for personal purposes, Sasuke-san,” Hatori argues. “You left to protect your best friend, and with that, you left to protect Konoha as well. Am I wrong?” 

Sasuke smiles and remembers how some teachers didn't like Shikamaru because he was smart, snarky, and most of the time, he was smarter than the chuunins who taught him. He could never have this issue with smart kids. He’s happy to be proven wrong - for some reason, after he found the complete truth about his clan and all that happened, he loved to be corrected, especially by people younger than him. He loves to see the new generation, the future leaders of this village as well as country, are better than their ancestors. 

He doesn't know if there’s an emotion for it, but that’s how he feels. 

“Leaving Konoha, nor its people, was never my aim.” 

Ino sneaks a quick look to where she knows the ANBU commander sits on a low branch next to the window, listening to every word the traitor says. She was accused that her report was biased, that’s why Ino screamed in Naruto’s office for more than twenty minutes to have Hokage's counsellor as well as the Commander to be present for Sasuke's lesson with the kids. (Ino was scolded for taking a nuke-nin to children, but Naruto reminded him Sasuke wasn't accused of any crime.) 

“And I always knew I will come to help if ever needed. I decided to follow the path I admire the most, the path of Hyuugas - the path of Will of Fire.” 

Sasuke gently puts his fist right under his heart, and with his head leaning to the left, he slightly bows. Hatori recognizes the respectful bow of his ancestors and the main bloodline of his clan uses till this day. Hatori bows back to Sasuke without even thinking about it - the bow means mutual respect, but also a kinship. 

“I don't want to keep the ‘Uchihas and Hyuugas aren't on friendly terms’ going, Sasuke-san,” Hatori tells him with a serious face. 

“There’s no Uchiha residing in this village,” Sasuke quotes the chuunin at the gate as well as Orochimaru. 

“There’s you,” Rainmaru frowns. “You are back in the village.” 

Ino doesn't know how to explain to the kids that Sasuke might be back, but his right to call himself a resident wasn't granted yet, and furthermore, he isn't back because he wants to. He’s back because there’s war upon them.

Sasuke stalls. 

“Are you back in the village because we are in danger?” is the only logical explanation that exists; therefore, Aoki asks it. 

Ino wants to react, but Sasuke beats her to it: “I am back because my hokage called for me.” 

“Who is your Hokage?” Aoki asks, because of course the children are aware of the uneasy political situation of the village. Sasuke must give his generation that - they don't tell the kids the usual ‘you’ll understand when you are older’ to withhold information from them. 

“It’s the same person as it is for you, Aoki,” Sasuke answers calmly. “And for Shikamaru-sensei, and Ino-sensei.” 

He’d say and Dog and Tsunade, too, but he is aware they both technically are his Hokage, too. 

Ino doesn't want to look smug just because she knows she’d be considered biased, and this time, her supervisor might be right. She’s heard enough in the two days, more than she expected. Sasuke talked slowly, evenly, and above all, truthfully. 

He’s also managed to form a bond with Aoki, a child noone was able to get to, and everyone feared a bit. Maybe his kinship with Sasuke is a good thing, but she must be careful in her report this time. Sasuke wasn't accused of any crime… yet.

Chapter Text

Sasuke settles comfortably at the riverside, just like yesterday. Right over there, the Nara Forest begins. Sasuke closes his eyes and activates the jutsu that allows him to see with Itachi’s eyes without chakra disturbance - he doesn't want to scare the ANBU that surely followed him here. Snow, forest, darkness that comes with heavy winters. He can feel his brother is shivering with coldness that doesn't necessarily come from the weather. 

Itachi has been provoking Madara lately. He said things, thought things, asked about things he shouldn't. It was as if Madara knew already Itachi was never a nuke-nin in the first place, no matter how skilled manipulator the oldest and strongest Uchiha actually is. 

Opening his eyes, he realizes he wished he could take the mission in the snow and Itachi could be here, close to the place he loved so much. The riverside, just by the start of Nara forest - a place where all ninja lost their abilities. The Nara forest and the deer, who blocked all chakra points and relieved all who were permitted to enter a peaceful mind. 

A place Uchihas were so desperate to visit, they tried to make a deal with Nara, a long, long time ago. 

“ There are many parts of Uchiha history that got deleted,” Itachi told him early on, back then when Sasuke wasn't sure what the truth behind the Uchiha massacre and Uchiha Madara really were. “Some of them by the village itself, just as who named it, but also who was supposed to be the first hokage. But most of the history was deleted by Uchihas themselves, out of shame. Uchihas… are proud, pretentious, angry and power-seeking creatures, who thrive from hate, pain, and their own arrogance.” 

Sasuke, back then, still took it personally. But the more he listened and read, and the more scrolls and books and other information the clan itself wrote and Sasuke discovered, the more he understood Itachi was right. The Uchiha clan was indeed better off dead. And no matter how Madara was a sick psycho who needed to go too, this wasn't the time - yet.

“ You need to understand that Orochimaru isn't evil, he doesn't wish bad upon people, he just wants to achieve his thing. To achieve that, he sadly must kill people, but don't mistake him for a murderer. He’s genuinely sorry for all the deaths he caused, at least he used to be. By now, I think he’s kind of used to it. Madara’s aim, however, is to purposefully hurt people, to achieve what he wants. He wants to kill people to succeed, and he wants to manipulate the rest. That’s his purpose. He wants to take what he believes is his to own. He wants power, because power is what all Uchihas are cursed to want.” 

Sasuke knows noone can own people - not even a sharingan user. “You… you proved you are a great chakra manipulator, and that your genjutsu and sharingan skills in general are exceptional. But even then, manipulating so many people through genjutsu doesn't seem like a real plan.” 

“ There’s a lot you can do with a Mangekyou - and there’s even more you can do with Rinnegan.” 

“ Rinnegan?” 

It's not the first time Sasuke heard about it, but he’s not passing up this chance to find out more. 

“ The story is complicated, and noone knows where it… began. But yes, rinnegan brings me back to the issue about deleting their own history, as a clan. Uchihas were always obsessed with doujutsu, especially their own. I already told you they tried to manipulate sharingan and byakugan, but they also tried to find the lost one, the third of the known doujutsu. The rinnegan. It was believed to be hidden in a place, and I quote, noone but the permitted would have access to. 

For some reason, Uchihas believed it was hidden in the Nara Forest, or at least that there is a lead there to find and achieve rinnegan. Uchiha Madara was obsessed with this old tale the most, and in the end, he happened to find what he was looking for. Uchihas made a proposal and wanted to form an alliance with Nara - they offered inside information about the clan to the Nara, and they granted them Uchiha forest too, so that only Nara would have access to. For that, they wanted one person per generation, always the clan leader, to be permitted into the Nara Forest. Nara declined the offer not because they didn't want the alliance, but because the deer are creatures of gentle nature, and all the hatred, aggression, fear, and bad memories, and all that is in Uchihas minds, would deem the animals dead. 

Uchihas didn't take the decline well, and they hated the counsellors the same as they hated Senju, the hokages. 

Uchiha Madara waited in the shadows for someone he could manipulate, who would be permitted access to the Nara Forest. It happened the night Naruto Uzumaki was born. Namikaze Minato knew Kushina is in danger, and so is their unborn son. Uchiha Madara took the chance and manipulated Kyuubi, the nine-tailed demon. Uchiha Madara achieved the rinnegan shortly after this incident - noone knows more details than that. A rinnegan that was used to destroy Konoha by Pein, but failed, when Pein took Naruto Uzumaki’s side. The same rinnegan that was stolen from him in his death. The same rinnegan that noone knows how was obtained - and if Madara created it, or awakened it, or simply stole from somewhere, where it was already hidden.”

Rinnegan, Sasuke whispered into the silence above the river. The late afternoon was turning this peaceful scene into a rather romantic one. He smirks as he realizes what exactly happened here the last time he sat exactly where he sits now. 

Rinnegan, Sasuke says the word again, slower. He tried to find anything about this issue, about the Forrest of Nara, about Madara and the Kyuubi attack, but noone knew much. Only that it is doujutsu stronger than any other, a technique that is beyond comprehension of any human, any shinobi but the rinnegan user. It can alter death, and possesses powers not known to humans.

Konoha and it’s sound of every day’s afternoon are somewhere behind his back, while in front of him, there’s the river, a glade, the forest - and above it, there, far, far away, there are the mountains he once wished to go to. He doesn't know what’s there, but his wanderlust was always something he shared with his brother, beyond their family’s understanding. Maybe the need to leave the cursed clan was the root of this, and maybe the need to leave and never come back came entirely from his fear of belonging, fear of having a family he would love, but might lose. 

And who knows, at the end. Maybe the love of his life, the one who he wants to live for, will kill him before he has the time to think about his future again. (He’d honestly appreciate it.) 

He’s not alone, he finally realises. There’s someone approaching him in a slow, even tempo. Sasuke closes his eyes and focuses on the energy, but without chakra disturbance from his side, it’s not an easy task. After a while of standing and watching, the person lets himself be known. 

“Long time no see.” 

Chapter Text

Sasuke’s eyes widened - he expected the ANBU to take him into ANBU-CONS or in custody, depending on who ordered his imprisonment. He turns around to silently bow. 

Shikamaru gives him a surprised look. He waits for Sasuke to straighten up to see his face properly, to look in his eyes. He’s looking for anything he remembers from the Sasuke he knew back then; ambition, hunger for power, strength, speed, anger - so much anger . The rivalry with Naruto. The arrogance that kept him pursuing his goals. The unbelievable beauty he was admired as well as hated for. 

Shikamaru is looking for all his former classmate used to be but comes blank. He is as horrified as disappointed by his discovery, mainly because he hoped for the militancy Sasuke was famous for. Just as Naruto is obsessed with never giving up, Sasuke was obsessed with power. Shikamaru, seeing what is left of his former classmate, purses his lips. He regrets not bowing down to him. Giving him a discreet once-over, Shikamaru comes back to the same conclusion Ino has, in her report; how are you still alive, in such a mental state?!

Sasuke concludes that Shikamaru didn't have to come here because he wants to say hello to the traitor or see for himself whether everything he heard or read in Ino's report is true, but because the nuke-nin has been reported wandering close to Nara land, and too close to the Nara Forest. Sasuke is familiar with the sensitivity of Nara deer and understands Shikamaru's concern for the well-being of these precious animals. 

“I apologize,” Sasuke speaks before Shikamaru is able to, “for the disturbance on your land.” 

He turns around and thinks about taking a walk through the city but decides otherwise - the shinobi of this village aren't happy he’s here, and he might meet someone he’s not ready to meet. Also, he might give off the wrong idea to the ANBU following him. A brief thought of taking a walk in the Uchiha forest crosses his mind, but he dismisses it immediately. He’s not emotionally ready to come so close to the compound. …He doesn't think he’ll ever be, in the short time he has of his life. 

“You don't -” It’s rare for Shikamaru to react this quickly, and it's even rarer to hear him struggle when speaking. “That’s not why I came here.” 

Sasuke looks up to see his face. He didn't change that much. He’s older in his face, and there’s never-leaving worry in his expression that lets Sasuke know he’s fully involved in the upcoming war strategy, military plans, and all known alternatives. He’s leaner than Naruto, but his body is still more muscular than Sasuke’s. He’s wearing the famous flak jacket, but not the hitai-ate. There’s a tattoo of the Nara clan symbol on his collarbone peeking from under his v-neck, and another tattoo on his upper arm - an ANBU symbol on full display. There’s not only an ANBU captain standing in front of the nuke-nin, but also a Nara clan leader. Sasuke feels something in his chest going off at this realization.The obvious question of “why are you here, then” isn't asked, and won't be. Sasuke wasn't granted the option to ask questions. 

Instead of talking about Madara, the war, the possibility of Sasuke being executed, the fact that the village is falling apart because none of the three possible hokages are officially in the office, the fear of losing another generation to war, Shikamaru says: “Itachi told me… this was the only place that brought somewhat of a peace into his mind.” 

Sasuke follows Shikamaru’s gaze towards the forest. Just hearing Itachi’s name brings momentary peace to Sasuke’s mind. Sasuke remembers why he is here, and that the genius came to him to report back on his own. “That ties to the old history Uchiha have with Nara.” 

“About Uchihas’ rinnegan and Nara’s deer?” Shikamaru asks. 

Sasuke wants to be silent, wants the genius to make an assumption just like he let everyone do: never explaining, never asking questions. But this isn't the portrait of Uchihas he wants to die with. Not with his brother’s name on his shoulders as well. 

“Uchiha's… curse of hatred,” Sasuke slowly turns to the forest again, willingly giving the enemy an upper hand by turning his back to him. Shikamaru notices, and while never thought of Uchiha to offer such a friendly gesture, he decides to take it as a compliment, and steps further to stand by Sasuke’s side. “The Sharingan means power, but it also means endless suffering. Nara forest, and mainly the deer there, are known for chakra blocking powers, which means that any Uchiha would, without any damage to his eyes, be able to forget the curse of hatred and at least for a moment find… peace. Forgetting the terrible things their sharingan have seen and burned into their mind, so strongly they can never forget it. Each and every terrible memory is as fresh as if it happened this morning. Never fading, never changing. Just adding more and more pain and hatred to the already damaged mind.” 

Shikamaru never heard of this side of the story, he only ever found the one about Madara trying to make a deal in search for rinnegan, which was why all his ancestors denied them the access to Nara forest - at least, that’s what his grandfather told him… 

“I didn't know about this,” the genius concedes. “I also never realized the Uchiha curse is… is this, always remembering pain and… loss.” 

Sasuke briefly remembers the memory Itachi showed him with his Mangekyou right after the massacre, the one about murdering his parents. Then Itachi, lying on the grass, eating a dango and smiling at him. Then the one of Itachi laying on his Akatsuki robe, crying and cuddling to Sasuke out of fear. 

He could leave Shikamaru with half of the explanation without telling him the other one. But again, lying isn't what he wants to be famous for. “The Uchiha curse is getting worse. Each generation is damaged by the one before them, and before them. Each… each child born Uchiha must deal with stronger and firmer curse, with more pain and more damage. Mostly because those who were damaged were… supposed to raise them. It’s an endless cascade that had begun long before Madara,” Sasuke looks up to the skies. The sunset isn't far, and the clouds are turning darker at the horizon. The black-haired shinobi slowly closes his eyes and wishes he could send an emotional signal to his brother that he’s thinking about him, as he finishes the sentence in his mind: ‘And it ends with me.’

Shikamaru checks the nuke-nin now that his eyes are closed. He’s a Mangekyou user, and as that, he’s never truly blind, but Shikamaru just has to check him out. He’s lean, nearly skinny. The prisoner seal sits firmly on his neck and left cheekbone, but it’s probably taking up most of his chest and back, as well as arms. He’s wearing a dark cloak without any Uchiha emblem on it. His sharingan eyes look different now too, Shikamaru thinks. His face looks hollow and tired, blank of any expression. Shikamaru remembers the boy used to frown or wear an arrogant smirk his classmates wanted either to kiss, or smack away. Some of them, Shikamaru snickers secretly, wanted to do both. 

Chapter Text

There’s nothing left of the arrogance, or the frown. His face wears no expression but an elegant, neutral one, and when he briefly looked into his eyes, he was shocked. Ino was right in her report; there’s no life behind those black, soulless eyes. 

“That explains…” Shikamaru comes back to the conversation he has with the Uchiha. 

Sasuke opens his eyes and slightly turns his head to signal he’s listening. The Nara clan leader is beyond shocked. He wasn't ready for this kind of conversation. Hell, they never really had any conversation at all, no matter how they used to be okay spending some time in silence in one room or the same space back in the Academy days. Sasuke wanted peace and quiet, and Shikamaru looked for places to hide and sleep. Most often than not, they found themselves sharing such places in silent truce. They never spoke, but they never fought, either.  

“That explains the feeling I… sometimes had while growing up here,” Shikamaru starts again, his voice firmer. “It just felt like someone was here, at the riverside. Some magnificent chakra present. Usually during the night - I used to think it’s the deer themselves, who sometimes take a walk around the riverside, but I used to feel it even when… there was no deer around. I remember that once, I could have been what, ten, eleven? I think I was still attending the Academy. I woke up in the middle of the night of full moon, and I couldn't fall back asleep. I went to the garden and sat down in the gazebo at the end of it, over there. From there, I was sure someone is standing here, right here where we stand now. I watched the person in a dark cloak, as there was something familiar about the chakra, but also something that made me crouch and hide. I knew the person knew about me watching them, but they stood right here for long minutes. Then suddenly, they turned around to face me - I didn't know why, but I was sure their eyes were red, even if I didn’t see them.” Shikamaru remembers the night as if it was yesterday. “When I woke up the next morning, I was sure it was a dream, and that’s how I shrugged it off at first. But then I stood up and almost tripped over my shoes, that were next to my bed. Which made no sense, because I only wore those shoes to the garden, and always left them on the patio - my mother once nearly skinned me alive when I did it, when I was like, five. I’ve never done that, since. But if my shoes were there, it meant I was in the garden, right? In the gazebo, from where I saw a person in dark cloak and red eyes. There was one thing that haunted me, and still does nowadays - how did I get back to my bed - as the last thing I remember is the person turning my way and looking at me with their red eyes?”

Sasuke imagines his brother being caught by the genius child at the riverside; a nuke-nin in the middle of Konoha - entering unseen, just relaxing at the edge of Nara land. Was he using a genjutsu on Shikamaru to make him go back to his own room? Or was Itachi still the same older brother as he was to Sasuke, a long, long time ago? Did Itachi put the Nara child in a dreamless, lovely sleep, a technique he invented especially for baby Sasuke? Did he take him in his arms and delivered him safely into his bed, covering his small, tired body with a blanket, sitting by the bedside, and silently whispering soft nothings to the kid? Did Itachi kiss Shikamaru’s crown before leaving, too? 

Breathing out, Sasuke remembers every time he pretended he fell asleep somewhere in the garden or the house, anywhere else but his own bed, just to have Itachi take him into his arms and lay him down in his bed, cover him up, sing to him, then tell him he loves him and kiss his forehead. Sasuke used to think he’s so subtle, but thinking about it now, Itachi must have known all along Sasuke was only pretending to be asleep. 

He lets a soft smile take over his features, and Shikamaru forgets how to breathe for a while. There’s nothing of the life in the young Uchiha he once possessed, but the beauty… the beauty never left him. “I know Itachi was here as often as he could, after the massacre. It was the closest he ever allowed himself to the village as well as the forest,” Sasuke clears. “I’m sure you saw him that night, and I am sure he was the one who brought you safely back to your bed.” 

Shikamaru thought so, but it’s still weird to think about it like this, while at the same time, it’s not. It’s not, because the Itachi Shikamaru met; the gentle, soft, nice, eloquent, elegant, and genuinely caring, timid, shy person, the one spared of his hatred, anger, and mostly fear, that one would be an amazing older brother. Shikamaru suddenly feels flattered to know Itachi saw a scared child and handled the situation just like any responsible adult would. This realization only assures him that he’s made the right decision earlier in the Office. 

“I know so because he told me about… even before the massacre, he went to the Orphanage, and he visited Naruto when he was a baby,” Sasuke’s whispering now, not sure whether he can afford to say this. He doesn't want the Nara to think he’s trying to manipulate him into liking his brother - Sasuke doesn't have any reason to tell lies. “Apparently, he promised Minato, when they met in a hospital before Kushina gave birth, that he will take care of Naruto as if he was his older brother, if the night doesn't end well. Obviously, noone wanted the strongest Uchiha sworn to Konoha in the orphanage where the Kyuubi was held, so he usually went there in secret, but he still…” Sasuke softly smiles at the memory Itachi showed him. “I would show you the memory, but I’m not allowed to use chakra.” 

Shikamaru is shocked, scared, and amazed - can the Uchiha show him his brother’s memories? How strong his Mangekyou actually is?! - but at the same time he can't help and find the image endearing, adorable even. Itachi, portrayed by his brother, answers to the Itachi Shikamaru met himself. Soft, reliable, caring, shy. Of course, he took care of Yondaime’s son - it was in his nature, but he also saw it as his responsibility to Itachi’s hokage; the only leader he ever respected. Not his father, not Madara, not sandaime, not Danzo. Only the Yondaime, and by that, also his son.  

“That is what brings me here, Sasuke,” Shikamaru smirks in good nature - he has no idea how to genuinely smile like a normal person. It’s probably a personality trait. His father smirks all the time, too. 

Sasuke looks up, his eyes black. 

“There is a decision about your status in this village. You are from now on officially welcomed back as a Konoha citizen.”

Chapter Text

Sasuke’s mind speeds up. He doesn't have to leave the village. He doesn't have to live on his own, somewhere in the woods between nation borders. He doesn't have to keep away from people, the city centre. He can roam the lands of Konoha freely. He can feel and sense people around him. He can… he can ask for Itachi to live here for the short while they have left, and vouch for him as a Konoha citizen. 

Sasuke steps back and uses the Hyuuga respectful bow to the Konoha representative. Shikamaru doesn't fail this time, and bows right back, keeping his head lowered for a longer while. If it keeps you alive for a few more days, Shikamaru thinks before he lifts his head and finds the Uchiha’s gaze, I’ll keep fighting for you . 

Uchiha’s eyes turn red, and then it darkens at the sides. The ground spins under Shikamaru, and before he has the time to panic, he’s standing in a… he’s - he turns around. He’s in a child’s… nursery. It’s dark in the room, night behind the windows. There’s a crib under it, and inside lies a sleeping baby. A sleeping… blond baby, with small, adorable whiskers on his face. 

Naruto . 

Shikamaru turns around in the dark nursery. There, at the door, stands a kid in the shadow, by his long hair and dark eyes it's quite obvious who it is. 

The memory, Shikamaru finally realizes. ‘ I would like to show you the memory.’ The Nara curses his distrust to the most trustworthy person alive, and calms down enough to enjoy the picture of a baby Naruto silently sleeping on his back.

It looks so real, Shikamaru smirks as he leans over the crib and touches the baby’s hand, the smirk changes into a… smile. Warm, soft smile, one of those Shikamaru isn't even aware he’s capable of. Seeing a baby has been for the past few years nearly a miracle. There was just one baby born ninja two years ago, last year there wasn't any at all, and this year, he isn't aware of any pregnancy among their shinobi. Seeing Naruto as a sleeping baby is another thing to process. Shikamaru watches the small breaths he takes, and how calm he is in his sleep, which is a strange thing to see. Shikamaru knows the soon-to-be hokage well to know he's quite the cuddler, and he huddles to himself everything he finds in his sleepy state - pillows, sheets, his friends, but also the cat he had such a struggle to domesticate. And above that, Naruto moves around in his sleep, so it’s nothing new if he is turning in your arms, or he’s moving you around his own body to be the most comfortable. It’s also usual for him to fall asleep in his own sleeping bag and wake up in someone else's, whether the owner of it is still in the bag or not. Maybe that’s why Naruto is the most favourite to take missions with - you don't have to do much to receive a cuddle all shinobi crave: just lay down up to ten meters radius from sleeping Naruto. 

Shikamaru softly laughs at the baby when he says: “You were such a calm baby.” 

Behind him, Itachi finally emerges from the shadows, and Shikamaru notices he’s got another, a bit older, baby in his arms - Sasuke. Itachi comes to the crib, looks around, listens - but there’s silence in the building. It must be early in the winter morning. Sasuke in his brother's arms makes a small baby noise and Itachi takes Naruto from his crib, before he leans his face to the little heads he’s holding in his arms now. “Shh, my little ones.” 

Itachi’s voice isn't a whisper per se, but it’s soft enough. Shikamaru’s sure Naruto can't even hear him or see him yet, even if he was awake, he’s what, nine, ten weeks old? Tops. Itachi sits into the armchair, both boys on his lap. He’s caressing them, singing to them, telling them small fairy tales he probably made up himself, or he heard when he was a child. Shikamaru sits down in the other armchair and leans into it, watching both babies, but mostly Naruto. How small, tiny he is. How he moves his little feet. How baby Sasuke finds baby Naruto's hand and holds it. All the gentle, soft touches, the tender and caring kisses. The memory takes a long time, definitely over an hour, and Shikamaru is sure he could sit here and watch the gentle, soft, silent and calm display for years.

“I’m sorry we didn't come to visit earlier, Naruto, but the last time I got thrown out, the caregivers reported me to my father. Don't worry about it, my lovely one, the punishment wasn't that bad. Shh, shh, Naruto, it’s okay, we are here now. Sasuke and I will always come here to visit, no matter how much everyone doesn't want us to. We love you so much, Naruto,” Itachi softly whispers to the baby. “You are the only chance for us all, little one. You are a fearless baby, and you will become a strong leader one day. I want you to remember that you are loved, Naruto. I want you to always remember you are loved, needed, and believed in. Whatever happens, I’m never leaving you, my little ones. I would never leave my babies. Sasuke, shh, shh, you know we can't be here. Shh, there you are. Here, hold Naruto’s hand,” Itachi smiles as his brother actually holds onto Naruto’s tiny fingers, and immediately calms down. “See? All better now. I know you love Naruto very much, my sweet Sasuke. Shh, shh, everything is okay, my little ones. Your older brother will always take care of you.”  

Shikamaru doesn't recall ever crying like he does now. The slow breakdown he has when he realizes the lives of all three of them. The sorrow for their past and present, and most importantly, for their near future. He wished there was something he could do, he wished - he reaches out towards a what, eight years old Itachi? An eight years old child knows more about love and care than the entire Uchiha clan, than the Senju, than the sannins and the hokage, than Konoha’s jounins and chuunins. 

Everyone who was ever in charge. Anyone who could ever make a difference. Shikamaru grabs onto his mouth to muffle down his own sobs, but he still tries to watch the scene of three damned kids in one armchair during one cold winter night, even over his tears. He doesn't want the scene to ever end, he wants to stay here, he wants to take Naruto as well as Sasuke into his arms too, he wants to talk to soft, gentle Itachi, he wants to stay there and relive their entire childhood, but this time done right, by Shikamaru as the adult taking care of them because that is what they deserve. They deserve a loving, understanding parent, undisturbed childhood without all the damaging traumas. 

Sasuke silently withdraws his Mangekyou when he sees there are tears falling from Shikamaru’s eyes. It feels comically underwhelming, Shikamaru notes when the nursery disappears, and he’s staring into the pitch black of Sasuke’s eyes. There are tears falling on his cheeks, yes, but it's nowhere near the emotional breakdown he had while under the control of Sasuke’s jutsu. Shikamaru doesn't know what to say, so he just reaches up and wipes his tears away. 

“It’s a beautiful memory,” Sasuke explains to the confused Nara. “I just wanted you to understand my brother would never harm you.” 

Shikamaru shakes his head: “I never thought he would.” 

Sasuke keeps the soft smile on his lips. He’s glad he can show this memory to someone. He’s so proud of his sibling, and he has noone to say it to. Maybe Ino would understand. 

Chapter Text

“You… and your brother are both welcomed to this village, Sasuke. Neither you nor Itachi are nuke-nins, and neither of you was charged with high treason. My duty is to inform you, you can't leave the village for more than 24 hours. Beware, I need you to understand that… not everyone is happy you are back. And not everyone understands what you did for the village, for us and for the new generation. But please be… be patient.” 

Sasuke’s face doesn't change. He gives a slow nod. “Thank you, Nara-san.” 

“Sasuke-,” Shikamaru starts abruptly, and stops just as quickly. He is a bit embarrassed to ask, but he has to know. “Ino… Ino had to report to us some of… what you said. I just… I just wanted to tell you that if… if what you left the village for, if… if leaving… leaving,” Shikamaru takes a quick breath and tries to ignore the slight blush on his face, “if leaving us wasn't the aim of it, I’m…,” Shikamaru lowers his gaze. He was never this embarrassed in front of a friend. “I’m happy you found your way back home.” 

Sasuke remembers Ino’s words - Shikamaru is mostly happy you didn't become an enemy - and then his friendly expression comes back to his face: “If my departure didn't break our bond, I will be happy to continue it, Shikamaru.”

His heart skips a beat. There’s a warmth circling through his veins from his heart to the rest of his body. Shikamaru is so glad Sasuke is comfortable using his first name again.

“I’d be happy for that, too,” Shikamaru says gently, without any smirk, without the usual amount of annoyance in his tone. “Sasuke.” 

It’s unusual, hearing his name this often. He rarely spoke to anyone, and rarely anyone used his first name, let alone people he genuinely hoped he’s friends with. And Shikamaru and him surely never made it to friends, not officially, but they were as close to it as possible, second to Naruto. 

“I know the decision about my status wasn't easy,” Sasuke continues. “I understand I am making the already uneasy political situation in Konoha even harder. I apologize for the trouble.” 

Shikamaru shakes his head and makes a few steps further behind Sasuke, where there was a small sitting area built a few years ago. The thing about the night in the gazebo, Shikamaru thought it was Itachi, back then. He was the only one Shikamaru gave the power, the skills, but also the… the care, in a way.

He was twelve when he asked his father to build the sitting area, even if back then, Itachi was considered an enemy. It was just like with Naruto, actually. The Nara just somehow knew there’s more into the kid, there’s a reason he wants to follow him, there’s a reason he wants him to be his leader. It was the same with Itachi - he just knew that he couldn't be a bad person, right when he looked into the red eyes. He knew Itachi wasn't evil. 

Shikaku thought it was weird for his son to not only participate in manual labour, but above that coming up with the idea himself. Shikaku actually asked his son what is all that about - something he rarely had to do. He was smart enough to figure things out, especially about his son, but this was a little mystery to him - especially when Shikamaru, as far as Shikaku knew, never used the sitting area himself. 

His son sometimes stood in the gazebo and watched the riverside and the sitting area, especially during summer nights on full moons. Shikaku never understood why, but when he asked, he said that one day, he will see. 

Shikaku remembers one day, a year after they built the sitting area together, Shikamaru was sitting in the gazebo early in the morning, when it was still dark outside, the full moon still visible in the sky, a book forgotten next to him, his look so focused on the riverside he didn't even notice Shikaku approaching. 

‘ What are you watching?’ Shikaku asked his fourteen years old son. 

‘ You don't feel it?’ Shikamaru whispered. ‘You don't feel the power?’ 

Shikaku scanned the area, their garden, the riverside. He focused on all sounds, on his chakra flow, on himself and his son. He didn't feel a thing. ‘No. There’s nothing there.’ He answered to his son. 

Shikamaru watched the sitting area as he stood up and followed his father back into the house with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. He was sure the one who was expected came again that night. 

Sasuke follows the Nara to the man-made bench, and after the clan leader, he sits down as well. 

“The decision wasn't as hard as we feared. I’m not sure if you could tell, but Ino was told to… provoke you into a few actions. The elders as well as the jounin and ANBU leaders were sure you won't be able to provide your reasons why you left, let alone why you came back. You also were not expected to talk to the kids. You were not expected to seek comfort in people, the elders presumed you came back for some things that might be hidden at the compound, or maybe that you and Orochimaru have a deal, and you are on Madara’s side, which, let me tell you, is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m friends with Kiba. 

But after today, even the elders had to admit you never aimed to hurt us, and that the reason you left the village was to protect its people. And after all, you did take down Orochimaru without killing him, which means we can interrogate him. I’m not sure if any of the Konoha shinobi would be able to do that single-handedly.” 

“Orochimaru,” Sasuke starts slowly, “wasn't fighting me to beat me, let alone to kill me. He knew I refused his offer, and he knew it was time for me to come back to Konoha. He had all the time to prepare himself for the fight, but he didn't. He challenged me but didn't want to beat me. He wants to be here, and I have a feeling he wants to tell what he knows.” 

Shikamaru doesn't look as shocked as he should, this must mean he was aware of this option. “We… Naruto has a theory.” 

Sasuke’s heart jumps at the mention of his name. He can't help the tiny, small, unimportant molecule of hope he has for them. If Shikamaru knows why Sasuke left, then Naruto must know now too, right? 

Chapter Text

But emotional things aside, he needs to focus on the issue here. He nods after a second, because how comes Naruto can have a theory? Does it tie to the ‘I felt Orochimaru’s chakra was subdued’, and ‘I felt you close to the borders for days’? Sasuke doesn't want to ask. It’s not his place to know the secrets of their hokage. 

“He… he said that his chakra felt wrong, when you fought,” Shikamaru, seeing Sasuke’s expression, explains. “I’m sure Ino told you that Naruto… was asked by the elders as well as clan leaders to become the next hokage, right?” 

“Yes,” Sasuke pauses for a second, but then decides to tell the entire truth. “She also told me that Naruto…” Sasuke’s voice shakes at the name, “accepted only under a condition.” 

Shikamaru opens his mouth as if to explain, but then doesn't. 

“What I mean is… back then when we… when we,” Sasuke can't say ‘when we were friends’. Naruto told him they were never… as much. “When we were in team 7 together,” Sasuke chooses carefully and lowers his gaze, “he wanted to be a hokage. That was his… goal.” 

Shikamaru understands what the Uchiha is asking. He considers keeping it a secret, but after all, this isn't a secret. “He… doesn't want to be a hokage unless political changes are made, the elders will be disbanded, and instead, there will be a council made of 4 clan leaders and 4 active shinobi. Until then, he won't accept the hat.” 

Sasuke can imagine that. A Yamanaka, a Hyuuga, a Nara and let’s say, an Inuzuka. Four active shinobi, two of ANBU, two jounins, one older, one younger of each category. And a Hokage to give the final word. This sounds like a political system that could work for them all. It sounds fair. 

“The issue is that Naruto has already chosen the members of new council,” Shikamaru continues. “And neither the elders nor most of the clan leaders agree with two names on the list.” 

As per usual, causing drama everywhere he comes, Sasuke softly smiles to himself. It seems like, after all, Naruto is still Naruto. 

“You seem happy about that,” Shikamaru notices, a small smirk at the corner of his mouth. 

Sasuke looks up at the slowly darkening sky. He hopes his brother is well. He hopes he will come back early. He hopes they can beat Madara. He hopes they can spend at least a few weeks together with Itachi, just the two of them alone. And when Itachi’s illness is too much to bear, Sasuke will bring the end to it. And then… who knows. Maybe he can have one last conversation with Ino and Shikamaru. And then he leaves the village, burns their sharingan eyes with Amaterasu, and uses his katana for the last time. 

That is the plan he should strictly follow. He forbade himself from dying before his brother. He won't let his brother suffer ever again. 

 “He didn't change that much, did he.” 

Shikamaru watches his expressionless face. His soulless eyes. His posture that gave up on life. He shakes his head but can't stop himself from the worried look he half-tries to hide. Naruto did change a lot. He changed the ways he sees the world. He changed the way he treats people - and he doesn't let people treat him as if he owes them something. That was an interesting conversation they had after even the elders bowed down to him and asked him to lead their village as the hokage, lead their village into the war that is coming for them. Naruto declined ever leading anyone, when those who want him to lead now were the ones who wanted him dead four years ago. Shikamaru was never prouder of his leader than at that moment. 

But essentially, in his heart and soul, Naruto stayed still the same. Friendly. Loyal. Strong. Vigorous. Surprisingly elegant, in certain situations. Gentle, and a bit himbo. Well-spoken, when needed. Pretending. Hurting. Desperate. Broken.

He’s a lot like you, Sasuke. 

I just hope, Sasuke thinks at the same time as Shikamaru, he is nothing like me. 

Shikaku, who is standing in the Nara Garden close to the gazebo, watches his son talking to the enemy. He stands there, arms crossed, a frown on his face. He doesn't like the situation they are in. He doesn't like the fact that his generation isn't trusted enough to handle this political issue. He’s mad at Sandaime, at himself, at the council, at the young generation who doesn't trust him, and the generation that was led to survive, but not to lead. 

His son, who is calmly talking to the sharingan bearer, told him as much. The generation of their children doesn't trust their own parents because it was their own parents who failed them - lied to them, manipulated them, let their hokage die, let their parents ruin the future of their kids, created enemies they were not able to defeat, made decisions that cannot be unmade. 

The ex-clan leader understands why their generation was being punished before the generation of their kids were still just kids. Shikamaru is twenty years younger than Shikaku was when he became the advisor to the Hokage. And one of his first decisions was to punish Uchihas for the Kyuubi attack none but one Uchiha was responsible for - the one who wasn't at that time considered even alive, let alone a sworn Konoha shinobi. The next decision was even worse - leave Naruto on his own, keep him imprisoned in the orphanage, and then keep him away from everything. Mainly from other people, for he is dangerous. 

Maybe Shikaku should accept that his opinions are wrong because all opinions Shikaku thinks are crucial and “right” Shikamaru concedes as unimportant, wrong, or ridiculous. 

…Ridiculous, Shikaku slowly rolls over his tongue. That's what Shikamaru snickered when Inoichi and himself insisted keeping Uchiha in the village is high treason itself, and it’s all on the council. Shikamaru had the nerve to laugh out loud. What was worse than that, Neji, the arrogant brat, softly laughed alongside his son. The pretentious, spoiled and always pissed brat noone liked, especially not Shikaku who was responsible for this brat and a few others of Shikamaru’s ex classmates for a few months, and he hated every second of it. He hated how the generation didn't take him seriously. How they questioned all tasks he gave them. How they all ignored the usual drill for A- and B-ranks. How they are always poised for more info. How nothing was confidential to them because they shared details of every mission among their group. How pissed they were when Shikaku - or any other older jounin or ANBU captain - told them to do something without saying why, or when they found out they were not told the exact truth, even if it was to keep them safe. Sometimes not telling them things was for their safety in the first place! 

Shikaku sighs. It’s been two years of constant anger in the house, in the council, in the village. Dog left them. Tsunade isn't strong enough. Naruto doesn't want to be the Hokage the council wants him to be because, and Shikaku remembers the blond’s words vividly, “I don't want to be an irresponsible manipulator and a dictator like all the previous hokages”. It was this sentence that pissed Shikaku off the most - what does this little fucker know about the past hokages?! But then he said one more thing after that, and that had Shikaku stunned to the core: “I was left to fend for myself since I was five. I was neglected by everyone, the adults, the children, the senseis, the system. If you think I care for your generation, you are not just a selfish asshole, you are a complete failure, and a disgrace . You, Shikaku, and your generation, disgusts me. I’m here to try to protect my friends, and the generation that you might have given birth to, but we are raising.” 

That day, Shikaku accepted that he and his generation have lost all the power in the village. He lost the right to insist on his opinions and he lost the right to be Hokage’s counsellor as well as the clan leader, but that doesn't mean he is wrong in everything. For example, Uchiha Sasuke being allowed this near to the Nara Forest, is a gamble Shikamaru will regret, sooner or later. 

Uchihas and Naras are not on friendly terms, either. 

Chapter Text

Shikamaru watched the forest with the Uchiha for a long, long time in silence, just like they used to. There’s something in Shikamaru’s heart that wasn't there before. Like something big, heavy settled in his mind, in his heart, too. He reaches into his pocket - smoking was one of the many pleasures he was frowned upon. 

Well, not by everyone. Ino said it was cool. Asuma laughed and said that he was probably to blame. Choji asked if it helps him focus, and then agreed that it’s a good thing, then. His students thought of him as wise because of it. And Naruto… Shikamaru’s face lights up with another small smirk. Ah…Naruto .

Sasuke remembers Shikamaru prefers silence, so when he leans over the bench closer to the counsellor and gently touches the pack without any words, Shikamaru’s smirk darkens. It is what it is, isn't it, he thinks to himself as he makes an offering gesture towards the Uchiha. 

Shikaku, who watches the entire scene from the garden, far away to hear anything at all, far away not to be noticed by the boys, but focused enough to see the Uchiha lighting up a cigarette himself, frowns deeper than before. Whatever he might think or say, after smoking together in silence, there’s no way Shikamaru will ever mark the Uchiha brat as an enemy. If his friendship with Naruto was unnatural, Shikaku doesn't know how to describe what he sees down the riverside. He frowns, shakes his head disapprovingly, sulks, frowns some more. But at the end, he relaxes his posture and goes back inside. 

There’s nothing for him to change, anyway. Shikamaru told him clearly that his advice isn't appreciated by the hokage’s office any more. 

Shikamaru finishes his third cig. “I did some research. About what… you mentioned today. About the Senju and the deals with clans.”

Sasuke can feel the last of today’s sun touching his face - he feels sadness and sorrow for the night taking over, but hopes for the next sunrise.

“And it turns out there’s… well, Naras had no reason to forbid Uchihas from the forest. That decision was made by Senju.” 

Sasuke waits for the familiar wave of anger that takes over his body - but there isn't any. He isn't surprised. If Uchiha Madara entered the Nara forest before the Kyuubi attack, who knows. Maybe Danzo would die and Minato would live. Perhaps then Naruto would have an entire family, and Sasuke might have never been born in this scenario. Uchihas would be massacred a long time ago, with Madara taking over the world much, much sooner. 

“I tried to… look for reasons. But it just seemed that no matter what Uchihas did, they always turned to hate. And hate always found them.” 

Sasuke knows Madara was a jealous, possessive, ruthless, aggressive, arrogant, brutal shinobi, and even worse leader. He wanted all or nothing. When the village didn't show him the respect and love he expected, demanded , he decided they hate him, and for that, he hated them back. There wasn't any logical explanation to what happened to the Uchiha clan. 

Hate. Pain. Anger. Fear.  Fear feeds pain, pain feeds anger, anger feeds hate, hate feeds fear. It’s an endless circle that just never stops, - Sasuke wondered how comes the Uchiha crest isn’t an uroboros, - and honestly, Sasuke can feel it on himself. How tired he is. How he just doesn't want to do it, he doesn't want to keep hating and fearing and hurting. He’s so tired of it, he can't even get mad. 

“I was told to never tell you this. The elders think you’d lose it and kill off the entire council,” Shikamaru actually snickers, as if he wants to say ‘do it, for fuck’s sake, do it ’. 

Sasuke’s face is soft, maybe a bit sad. Three years ago, he wouldn't even hesitate. He’d take it as a challenge, and he'd take his anger and pain on those who caused most of the damage that was done to him. 

But after understanding the evil that are Uchihas, and after understanding the new generation of Konoha’s leaders is well aware of their ancestors’ mistakes, he has no reason to seek revenge any more. He took Itachi’s opinion to heart, and he thinks it’s better for the cursed name to be erased from this world. The future is going to be safer and way more stable without Uchihas in it. 

Sasuke doesn't want much from life any more. After making sure Naruto doesn't want him in his life as anything, not even as an ANBU he could count on in a mission, he doesn't have any reason to plan his future. 

He wants to destroy the Uchiha threatening another generation of Konoha’s shinobi, and to spend the last remaining days of his life with Itachi. That’s all he wants. That’s all he’s willing to fight for. 

For the last time. 

“I came back to Konoha to hear a death penalty verdict. I didn't expect anyone to take my side.”

Shikamaru takes the pack of cigarettes and lights up his fourth one. “I’ve always been afraid to have a conversation with you,” Shikamaru admits in a low voice, “Because I was scared I’ll hear something like that.” 

Sasuke shrugs and after a while, he takes one more cigarette from the pack, too. Shikamaru notes Sasuke doesn't cough, which means his lungs must be used to the substance. The man is one big secret Shikamaru is, despite his lazy nature, excited to explore. The silent truce from their childhood is long gone, and so far it seems that besides Naruto, Sasuke will be his favourite one to share a cig and a talk, something he suspected would happen, in a different universe, but never expected to actually experience. 

“Reality is scary,” Sasuke agrees after a while, breathing the smoke in. “Especially for Uchihas.” 

Remembering all the pain they’ve ever gone through. Remembering every single reason to use sharingan for the rest of their life as if it happened this morning - and the pain never dulls down. “Remembering your past… every memory you can't ever lose,” Shikamaru speaks after the dark settles along the riverside. “Which one pains… you the most?” 

He doesn't know why he is asking. He doesn't know why he is tempting the Uchiha, challenging their new and unshaped relationship as yet. He’s not stupid nor brave enough to provoke Sasuke like this, he wouldn't ask just anyone, probably not even Choji or Ino, and yet, he asked Sasuke such an intimate thing. 

There’s silence where Shikamaru doesn't even breathe and hopes the question goes unanswered, unreacted to - forgotten, just like the daylight in this darkness. 

And then over there, at the end of the forest across the riverside the clan leader and a nuke-nin are sitting in silence, a mighty ivory deer enters their precious silence. He’s alone, and he comes to the river to have a drink, just like yesterday. Yesterday, the deer didn't even lift his head. He wasn't interested in the nobody that sat at the other side of the river - the mighty animal doesn't have the time to care about a nuke-nin. But today, sensing a Nara close to the river, the animal stands still and tall, and when he notices it’s the Nara leader who is watching him, the deer leans his head slightly down. Shikamaru, who watches the animal as if there’s a silent conversation between them in their minds, bows his head down too.

Then, something unimaginable happens - the deer crosses the river.

Chapter Text

The stream is mellow, slow and shallow as it barely reaches the animal’s knees, and then he crosses the river, still watching the Nara leader. Shikamaru stands up from the bench and comes closer to the animal, with a hand up to its nostrils. The deer sniffs him, leans his head down and Shikamaru bows again, with grace this time. Sasuke didn't even realize he stood up as well. 

The deer stands still, as Shikamaru reaches up and scratches the side of his neck, and then slowly caresses his back in a slow, smooth tempo. Sasuke has never seen anything as breathtaking as this - and he doesn't know why he is so overwhelmed. 

“Nara deer have powers my clan desperately guards,” Shikamaru says without ceasing to stroke his fur. “This one is the herd leader. His name is Kyodai.” 

Sasuke, shocked and stunned, watches the ethereal, mighty animal. He is indeed. 

For long minutes, the deer lets the clan leader slowly rub at his fur, and Sasuke got lost in his thoughts. His mind is mostly at the issue Shikamaru proposed: of all the memories you can never lose, which one pains you the most?  

The answer is, the day I made you believe we were never friends in the first place. The day I caused you a pain so severe, you think I’m willing to kill you for the mistakes you didn't make. The day I told you, you mean nothing to me. The day I hurt you. 

To Shikamaru and his companion, he says much simpler: “The day I left.” 

It’s been many minutes of silence between them, but Shikamaru knows he’s answering the initial question. In his mind, he comes back to Ino’s report. Sasuke said he went through the decision of leaving multiple times, but all scenarios and all options and alternatives always lead him to the only possible solution: leaving was inevitable. He hates himself for it. He hates the village, the elders, his family, Orochimaru himself, he hates everyone. But all the blame, all the consequences of him leaving, Sasuke accepted as a man, and as an honourable Konoha shinobi. 

As the Nara caresses Kyodai’s head up and down in slow motion, without ever turning to Sasuke, he speaks: “Accept me as your friend.” 

It takes the Uchiha several seconds to realize what those words mean. What the Nara wants to do. 

“Accept me as your friend, and I’ll accept you as mine,” Shikamaru turns over his shoulder slightly. 

Sasuke briefly remembers what Orochimaru told him yesterday, when he got fucked over by Lion: it was the first time you tried to make friends, and you failed . He looks up and their eyes briefly meet. Shikamaru turns to face the Uchiha, and then outstretches his hand. Sasuke slowly walks towards the genius with his eyes fixed on his hand - he’s never… he was never offered friendship before. Definitely not as an adult, surely not with such honour. 

And then, right before Sasuke stands in front of the clan leader, Sasuke realizes he is a Konoha citizen again, which means there’s an Uchiha residing in the village. Sasuke is the clan leader of the Uchiha clan. So when Sasuke lifts his hand to gently catch and squeeze Shikamaru’s, he realizes that this isn't a friendship between two people.

This is an alliance between clan leaders. 

Shikamaru offers a sort of smile, something so close to an actual smile Sasuke isn't even sure it’s real - the laziest person of this village was known to snicker, smirk, and roll his eyes, but undoubtedly not to smile. Sasuke blinks, once or twice, and after that, he timidly smiles right back. He knows he should let Shimamaru’s hand go, but he’s… he can't. He was finally ready to admit to himself he was a touch starved asshole, and Shikamaru’s hand was warm, pleasantly heavy on his own, and Shikamaru didn't feel the need to protect his chakra sources at all. Instead, he let Sasuke know he trusts him, and with this gesture, Sasuke let his own chakra flow freely through his body too to make sure Shikamaru understands how serious he is about this friendship, about this alliance . 

Shikamaru hadn't let go of his hand just yet. Instead, he looks at the deer, who is watching them with elegance and grace, and then lifts their hands towards Kyodai’s head. Sasuke doesn't have the time to question the gesture, or to jerk his hand away. When he touches the animal, every fibre in his body - tensed, tired, stressed, depressed, overused, rejected, disenchanted - … relaxes. 

It feels as if all weight was lifted from his shoulders, like each and every memory his sharingan is cursed with fades away. It doesn't disappear, it just… fades. Sasuke imagines this is how traumatic memories seem to normal people. 

He opens his eyes after a long while, his hand still held by Shikamaru on Kyodai’s head. Sasuke takes in the fresh night air, Shikamaru’s slow chakra flow, the distant evening in Konoha. The chirping of birds all around. The silent water effervescence. 

He never felt this alive. 

Chapter Text

Shikamaru watches Sasuke’s expression go from ‘ please let me die’ to ‘ is this how being alive feels?’ . It’s scary, but breathtaking nonetheless, and Shikamaru wishes he could help more.

“Let go of what once was,” Shikamaru whispers softly to the prodigy. “Focus on your growth and your future.” 

Sasuke doesn't know what it means - he just knows he never wants to go back to the mind where he sees every brutal memory he ever fought for. Because now, sensing and accepting the deer’s chakra and letting him take away some of his, he can finally focus again on all he loves. On all the love he had in his childhood for his brother. On all the love he feels for his one and only. For all the warm, friendly feelings, he has for Shikamaru and Ino. For the new generation of gennins that he’s so proud of. How much he admires them all. 

Kyodai moves his head to the side, and then backs up a little, and Sasuke knows he has to let go. He mentally prepares himself to suffer as he did before the mighty, powerful animal was let to help him - he feels the fur leaving his touch, and the strange chakra leaving with it. He’s scared of the next second, he is already suffering again, he can feel the weight that is just-about-to fall back to his shoulders but… 

Shikamaru bows to the animal standing two, three meters away from them now, and then it looks at Sasuke. 

The weight is yet to set back on Sasuke’s shoulders. The feelings of the horrible memories locked in his mind in one place still feel as if they happened years ago. Sasuke feels the goosebumps of fear from behind his neck running down his spine, he knows what will come in a while - but it’s been about three seconds, and nothing happened. 

Sasuke doesn't believe what just happened. He doesn't have the emotional capacity to understand what… He slowly, just like Shikamaru, bows down to Kyodai, just much, much lower. When Sasuke straightens up, the deer has crossed the river and went back to the Nara forest. Shikamaru is standing where he is, silently analysing the prodigy. Sasuke keeps looking at the Nara forest for a long, long time. 

He recalls the fake memory of his parents dying. He isn't able to see all the details any more, and the memory doesn't sting like he’s used to. The memory of his brother being raped by their father is still heavy in his mind, but he isn't able to recall all the details either. He can clearly see Fugaku’s angry face, but some of the things he knew he remembered well not even five minutes ago, he isn't able to recall now. And the day he left… the day he told Naruto all the terrible things, the day they fought nearly to kill each other, the day is still in Sasuke’s mind, but it seems as if it happened months, years ago. The raw emotions are far from what it used to feel like, and Sasuke doesn't know what to do, or what to say. 

When he looks up, he realizes there are tears on his face. “Thank you.” 

Shikamaru was told an Uchiha doesn't say please or thank you. He was also told Uchihas don't feel any emotions. He was told Uchihas are killing machines with no honour. 

When Sasuke bowed down to Kyodai, he only proved that everything their generation was ever thought of their past, was wrong. 

“I’m so sorry for all this village did to your clan, Sasuke.” 

“I’m sorry for all my clan,” Sasuke finds Shikamaru’s eyes, “did to your village.” 

If Shikamaru ever considered he’d be emotionally moved by an Uchiha, it would be hearing this sentence. 

Sasuke is slightly shaking, mostly out of fear that the memories will come back soon with full force. “I didn't know… about the powers of your clan, Shikamaru.” 

His name, Shikamaru notes. He said it with such urgency in his voice. “Entering the forest means peace to all that suffer, but only for the time spent there. Seeing the deer gives you serenity, but touching him and exchanging a bit of chakra means you are allies now. Well, you are the only person outside Nara clan in our history who was granted the privilege of entering the forest and make alliance with deer.” 

Sasuke doesn't know what to say. 

“I believe Naras and Uchihas were supposed to make an alliance. I believe this is why we have these powers.” 

“I’ve heard that only… only one Uchiha could ever be allowed to the forest, because the memories they carry are just too hurtful.” 

“That is essentially the truth, yes,” Shikamaru agrees. “I’m not sure how long it will take for Kyodai to be able to face you again.” 

Sasuke remembers he has responsibilities now. He can't and won't, under any circumstances, be selfish. “In that case, I have to decline the alliance with Nara deer.” 

Shikamaru frowns a little. Why is he-

“My brother,” Sasuke continues immediately. “I want to leave this privilege to… Itachi. He needs to - he has to… him. Itachi. I need Itachi to be granted access to the Nara forest. Is that… acceptable to you, Nara-san?” 

Now the clan leader understands his decline, but he is still surprised. He’s heard Sasuke and Itachi are on good terms now, they even made it to friends according to Naruto and Kakashi, but it’s still surprising to hear such a sweet, selfless thing from the Uchiha who was known to be arrogant, selfish, individualist, and an asshole. As Shikamaru takes his three seconds to think about Sasuke’s request, he can see Sasuke is growing restless, as if scared he did something wrong, or that he misunderstood what an alliance means. 

“You are a good leader, Uchiha-san,” Shikamaru decides to say after a while. “Your wish is acceptable to me.” 

Sasuke releases the breath he was holding, and before he chooses to speak again, he actually has to wipe his tears off. “I’m aware that Nara always wanted Uchiha forest to allow their deer more freedom and safety, for the Uchiha forest being protected by a strong jutsu. Please, accept it now as a gift from my clan to yours, Nara-san.” 

Shikamaru actually stutters: “This wasn't - this wasn't meant to be a transaction, Sasuke. I didn't… offer alliance in hopes for the forest my clan wanted since they joined this village.” 

“And trust me, my clan has no reason to keep it, since we prefer traditional gardens to forests. The only reason Uchiha kept the forest was to piss off the Nara.” 

The jounin snickers - yes, that sounds like them. Sasuke must be aware because he apologizes again, to which Shikamaru immediately says: “Don't apologize for things you held no power over.” 

Sasuke wished life would be as easy as that. Maybe in that case, there would be no Madara to take care of. 

Chapter Text

“You’ve talked to Shikamaru.” 

Sasuke knew about her presence, hence he’s not surprised when she spoke before he saw her. It wasn't a question, and therefore Sasuke didn't feel obliged to answer. 

“You should have been there,” Ino laughs shortly. “Elders are pissed, and so is the older generation.” 

“I didn't want to cause any disturbance,” Sasuke repeats. 

Ino hums and matches Sasuke’s pace. It’s nearly midnight and the city is slowly falling asleep. Sasuke is taking the long route back to the ANBU flats. 

“Fox went on a mission earlier,” Ino tells him after a few minutes of silence. “He won't be home tonight.” 

Sasuke expects it to hurt, or to ease the pressure in him, but he feels nothing. Seeing Naruto’s face in his mind now does little to his exhausted soul. He nods to let her know he hears her. 

“Would you join me in class tomorrow?” 

Sasuke feels his lips softly curl up. “Yes, if I can.” 

After another terribly cold shower he gives in, and oversees his new emotions and thoughts about Konoha. He never guessed he’ll be ever allowed close to children, and he never guessed he’d feel inclined to teach. But he soon found out he loves it - and he does. He doesn't sleep for most of the night, thinking about his brother and all the surrounding coldness, or Naruto and the mission he must take now, just minutes before war. He thinks about the females Fox takes in this bed, and what kind of lover he must be. Does he kiss and move languidly, or does he bite and fuck fast? 

- Isss thisss ssssafe to thhhhink about? - 

The Snake was silent the whole scene with Shikamaru, but now he offers his wisdom, Sasuke rolls his eyes. He refuses to generally think about Orochimaru, solely not to give him the advantage of knowledge - there is a lot the Snake doesn't need to know, until his Hokage decides otherwise. 

- Sssso loyal, Ssssassssuke, desssspite your faithhhh. - 

Sasuke turns around in his bed, closes his eyes and focuses all his energy to think about Itachi. His soft features, his soothing voice. The smile that can still reach his eyes anytime he talks to his brother. 

“I love you, Itachi.” 

It’s the last thought he has before he falls asleep - the Snake has nothing to say to that. 

As Ino expected, Sasuke became the best part of the kid’s morning lectures. And even other senseis appreciated the fact that he was able to connect to Aoki, despite not knowing what happened and why he is alienating the village, or maybe their leaders. The outcome is still the same, nonetheless. He’s in an unexpectedly good mood today - his nightmares, the terrors he's been living for as long as he remembers, never found him last night. He slept for a few hours, and it was pitch dark and quiet. Meeting Kyodai and making friends with Shikamaru was a life-changing étude. 

“Good morning,” Shikamaru, holding a cup of coffee, mumbles.

“Not a morning person, I assume,” Sasuke notes, hiding a smile. “Wishing a good morning to me doesn't make it good for you.” 

“Fuck you, ‘ske,” the genius grumbles, but Sasuke can tell he’s actually amused. “We are teaching strategy to the brats.” 

“Ino?” Sasuke asks tentatively. 

Shikamaru wakes up a little, and looks around. “She was called on a mission.” 

There must be a reason you didn't sleep, Nara-san, Sasuke concludes. “What aren't you telling me?” 

Being friends with a genius isn't easy, Shikamaru finally notes what it is like to be friends with him, first hand. You can try as hard as you can, but you cannot outsmart him. Fuck this kid. “She was called for backup.” 

“Dog or Fox?” 

Fuck this kid!  

“Kind of both.” 

“Are you needed somewhere else?” Sasuke cryptically asks. 

Shikamaru raises his eyebrow. Sasuke doesn't demand to join the fight, fuck, he doesn't even demand to know more or be included. He’s ready to stay back with children and protect them to give time and peace to the strategist to take care of other things he needs to do. This isn't the Uchiha he used to both despise and desire. “I am expected to have alternative strategies, if everything goes to shit. And I do that best when I focus on something else.” 

“Copy that, Captain.” 

When they enter the class, the kids start to excitedly whisper among themselves. Shikamaru wishes them a good morning, and Rainmaru laughs at that. 

“Just because you are Naruto’s favourite doesn't mean you can be rude to me,” Shiki scolds the child. 

“Sorry, sensei!” Rainmaru grins at him. 

By Nara's soft expression, Sasuke can tell this is their usual morning banter. “We are here today to speak about strategy. You all know that is my forte, but as he is finally back, I decided to bring my friend Sasuke to tell you more.” 

Shikamaru wasn't here yesterday, and Ino probably didn't have time to tell him the kids know about most of what Sasuke did, and what was his situation in the village. The kids are silent now, obviously confused by Shikamaru’s claim. 

“Sasuke-san is your friend?” the blond girl asks. 

“Yes,” Shikamaru confirms and sits down at the teacher’s table. “And my dear ally.” 

“Even when he left the village?”

“Even when he betrayed you?” 

“He committed unprecedented high treason,” Aoki of all above says. 

And now Sasuke understands why he wasn't charged (yet). He couldn't be, not at the situation as it was with these kids, who had understood the power of forgetting and forgiving. They had to learn that holding grudges wasn't helping anyone for evil only initiates more evil, and nothing else. 

Shikamaru slowly turns to Sasuke, before he slowly answers: “I chose to side with my hokage. And so did Sasuke.” 

“So you know why he left?” Hatori-san questions. 

Sasuke doesn't dare to move. Ino and other ANBU, who were present in the two classes Sasuke was allowed in, probably haven’t reported everything they heard yesterday. And maybe they did, and Shikamaru only placed down what suited him best, especially with children. 

“I have a theory.” 

Their eyes met, and Sasuke couldn't tell if Shiki knows and is planning, always the strategist, his best move, or he didn't, and his thoughts are genuine. Which doesn't necessarily mean good nor a bad thing - it just means that Shikamaru will know everything . He’s smarter than Ino, more receptive than any other ANBU would be, and then another, completely different thought enters Sasuke’s mind: he’s barely the only person who is in love with Naruto Uzumaki, the hero of this world, is he? There must be a long row of people who have feelings for the blond. What makes Sasuke all that different? It won't be such a disaster for Shiki, his friend and an ally, to know. 

He hoped, at least. 

The kids keep asking what his theory is, and how he got that idea, and Shikamaru might think this could be as good an opportunity as any. 

“I believe Sasuke hasn’t left the Will of Fire. I also believe he had a good enough reason to leave, when he only came back after he defeated Sandaime’s killer, and no sooner.” 

Ah, well, Sasuke nods. There’s that. 

“I also believe,” Shikamaru continues, looking straight into Sasuke’s black eyes, “that to leave your home and your friends, you have to be desperate. And trust me, when a shinobi like Sasuke, a Sharingan bearer, the best of our generation, genius strategist and the best kekkei genkai user I know, gets desperate… you know the rest of us are as good as dead.” 

Silence. This wasn't something Ino mentioned yesterday - she actually didn't make any assumptions about him at all. She let him speak, she let him paint a picture of himself the way he wanted to. But Shikamaru now gave the kids an idea that Sasuke was powerful . That he went and left the village for someone to teach him, that the kids knew - Sasuke told them himself. But the fact that he succeeded and found those people (he’s thinking he found Itachi more than Orochimaru, but they both were crucial to the power he’s discovered), and he is probably nearly as strong as Naruto, that gives the kids another point of view. 

“I also believe that Sasuke’s motives to acquire power were not  for his personal reasons. I believe he wanted to protect someone. Or rather… something.” 

Now that’s an interesting fact, Sasuke notes. 

“Shouldn't… sensei, uh,” Rainmaru says, “shouldn't it… shouldn't it be the other… you know. You should say something, and then change it for someone, right? Because someone… is more important than… something. Isn't it?” 

Shikamaru smiles, his eyes still searching Sasuke’s face. Second, two, three. 

“If you think…,” Shikamaru faces the class, shrugging. 

Silence again. “Would you explain it to us?” Hatori asks with a cute expression. 

The boy sure knows how to manipulate superiors, Shikamaru notes. Good for him, that’s a good strategy. “Very well, Hatori-kun, good strategy. You are making a cute face at your supervisor, which most men prone to arrogance prefer. It’s always good to leave your opponent believing they are safe, while you are only a stupid, cute civilian who is admiring the mighty man’s knowledge and information.” 

Chapter Text

It’s Sasuke’s turn to raise his eyebrows. He knows about this strategy, yes - but he doesn't remember it ever being taught in the Academy. Or did he miss a lesson or two?

“Well, let’s give in, shall I,” Shikamaru muses. “Protecting someone is as selfish as anything. In essence, you are only trying to protect and save what you have with that person, or what that person means to you. Yes, you are protecting them, and you are making sure they are safe… but you are only doing it for what the person means to you.”

There is a cold silence after that, and Sasuke blushes. Is Shikamaru right…? He thinks about his plan, helping the village, taking Madara and Zetsu down, protecting the children, and then… well. There’s nothing after that, not for Sasuke. But perhaps, at the beginning, when Sasuke was leaving the village desperate to protect his best friend to keep him alive , so they can… they can, what - be friends again, after all Sasuke told the blond? And after Sasuke knew he is becoming nuke-nin and will be executed if found guilty? 

No, there was never… there was never a chance in this. 

“Sasuke-san?” 

He looks up to find Aoki studying him. 

“What do you… think?” his question is deliberate. It’s obvious he’s wanting to find Sasuke’s rebellion, to see that someone else, someone older and more powerful is against the village too, so Aoki can follow his example. There isn't hate and rage behind his eyes like it was in Sasuke’s, but there is a desire for revenge. 

“Essentially, there are only two desires that run this world,” Sasuke decides to start at the other side. “Love, and hate.” 

Shikamaru hopes he isn't wrong about the Uchiha. He hopes he really is the ally Shikamaru always needed in his life. And he realises that this answer, whatever he says to the only person in this generation that might turn against them, is going to paint the future for the next Konoha’s generation and further. And by Sasuke’s subdued tone, he understands it too. 

“And I found that one always fuels the other. When you lose what you love, you are prone to blind hatred. And when you let that desire overwhelm you, you lose a piece of yourself.” 

Shikamaru is still tense. This wasn't and answer, and the kids, especially Aoki, recognize that, too. 

“Are you saying love is as bad as hate?” 

“I’m saying that one is as dangerous as the other,” Sasuke amends. “I’m saying that love, however honourable, should never overrun your sense of honour, and also common sense. Not that you aren't allowed feelings. But revenge, anger and hate never bring anything good.” 

“So when my loved one is murdered by my enemy,” Aoki initiates an example, “I am supposed to just what, accept it? And leave it be?!” 

“That depends. In our world? Your loved one was probably murdered in a war, weren’t they?” 

Aoki doesn't like where this is going, but he nods, anyway. 

“Then it’s safe to assume it wasn't personal. It’s war. That’s why we, our generation, want to end them, to stop them and make sure it never appears again. We don't want any more loved ones being lost in wars for it only brings more fear, more deaths, more injuries, more hate and anger, and of course, more wars,” Sasuke explains slowly, with calm, understanding expression. 

The fire in Aoki’s eyes falters. It doesn't disappear completely, but it’s definitely calmer now. “So I should just accept it, like it is. That my loved ones were killed, and their killers are still alive, somewhere out there?!”

“It’s your best strategy - for you, for your remaining family and friends and -!” 

“What about you, then?” Aoki interrupts him. “Your entire clan was murdered!” 

 - Careful what you ssssay now, Ssssassssuke. - 

There’s silence in the class, and Shikamaru looks ready to jump in and scold the child, but Sasuke holds up a hand to stop their sensei. He can handle it - he wouldn't be able to before, but he is now. “I… I just want you to know I wouldn't be able to take this question well, four years ago. Two years ago, I wouldn't be able to answer it, but I am today. 

That is the… first thing I need you to know. Personal growth isn't something you should underestimate. Some of the strongest, smartest, and most amazing shinobi have come from personal growth.” 

“Like who,” Aoki snaps, obviously not believing him. 

“Well, Naruto-sensei, for instance,” Sasuke counters, and Aoki finally snaps out of his teenage rage. “His best friend, Kazekage-sama, is the second one who comes to mind. Do you know his story?” 

The kids nod, and so does Shikamaru. 

“And… I’m not sure if I can say it or not, but… my brother.” 

Shikamaru gives a slow nod, encouraging him to speak. 

“My brother was forced to kill his entire family. Including me, mind you. He failed that, but that’s not a story for today. My brother was expected to join Akatsuki to spy on them and report back to the Elders,” Sasuke stops here, but Shikamaru doesn't look like wants to stop him. Even if Sasuke decided to tell what exactly happened, how the elders forced Itachi into an impossible choice, the strategist would let him share that with the class. But Sasuke doesn't think he is here to debunk the Elders, not till they are disbanded, or till he’s asked by the Hokage or his representatives. 

Actually, now that he thinks about it, Shikamaru might be exactly that, Hokage’s representative. 

“My clan was murdered, yes. My brother and I were held apart by hatred that was forced on us,” he answers Aoki’s initial question. “But he grew up from it, and it made him stronger, in certain ways.” 

“What ways,” Aoki wants to know. He’s still wary, but he isn't pissed off any more. 

“Well, he faced me knowing I might kill him for what he did to our family, and to me.” 

“And why didn't you?” now his curiosity is back. 

Sasuke smiles a bit. “Because I did some growing up myself. I understand now that just because the fact you are being told is delivered by someone who outranks you, you have to believe it. Especially when it goes against every single thing you know about that issue, and what’s worse, against your gut feeling. Now, my brother and I are specific about this issue, I’m afraid. But yes - my brother killed my family. And I forgave him.” 

“How - how could you?” it’s a whisper, but it sounds accusing. 

It’s a good question, actually. Was it because Itachi had no other choice? Or was it because Itachi is such a soft person? Because he loves Sasuke with everything he’s got? 

“How would it help, if I killed my brother?” Sasuke asks with a soft smile. “The last family I have in this world?” 

“How could you consider him family?” 

“He is. He told me his reasons, and I understood the world is not black and white.” 

There is silence in the class. Sasuke wants to change the conversation back to “don't kill for a kill”, but Aoki seems stuck on Sasuke’s brother. 

“So he had a reason to kill your family?” Aoki asks silently. 

“It’s rather complicated, Aoki. And it’s a part of Konoha’s political affairs, I’m afraid. I can only tell you that the issue wasn't as simple as my brother murdering his family. But I was meant to believe this is exactly what happened, for reasons.” 

“By the village?” 

“Yes,” Shikamaru answers this time. “I’d like you to apologise to Sasuke-san, Aoki. I understand you want to know what happened, but you were rude to my friend. I won't allow such behaviour in my class.” 

“I don't believe Aoki owes any apologies,” Sasuke stops him. It would make no good to make the stubborn boy bow to him now. “I want to answer you as truthfully as possible, even if only to prevent something like that from happening again. The answer is, yes, by the village, as well as my brother.” 

Silence again. “So you were used, then.” 

That’s another way to look at it, Sasuke agrees. “So was my brother.” 

“He’s not a mass murdering monster, then? Your brother?” Rainmaru asks in a gentle tone. 

“No,” Sasuke smiles a bit. “My brother is brave and strong, and one of the smartest people I know.” 

Shikamaru offers his friend a warm smile.

“Do you love him, then?” Aoki asks with an unreadable expression. 

“Yes,” Sasuke gives a firm nod. 

“You don't feel like you want to avenge them? Your family I mean,” Aoki mumbles. 

“No.” 

“So you believe we should always forgive those who killed our loved ones.” 

“I believe you shouldn't give in to your worst desires. It’s good to seek justice, and that’s what Leaf - and other villages as well - is working on. Creating a system that would help us bring peace. Arrest and punish those who kill and harm, and reward those who keep the peace.” 

“Now you are just quoting Naruto-sensei,” Rainmaru informs him. 

Sasuke glances at Shikamaru, who smiles and nods, confirming the boy’s words. “Ah. I didn't know that.” And he has the decency to blush. “It’s… ehm. It’s reassuring my opinion on the world allies with my hokage.” 

“Naruto-sensei isn't officially the hokage,” Hatori reminds the Uchiha. 

Sasuke offers him a small smile: “He’s been my hokage since we were five years old.” 

It’s not necessarily the truth; Sasuke didn't know back then Naruto will make it as far, but he was old enough to understand how drawn he felt to the blond boy. Well, he was the only one who was able to get a reaction off Sasuke. Anytime. 

“While this conversation was rather informative,” Shikamaru says, “I don't think a good strategist would put up with your way of questioning, Aoki. You are just lucky you are Sasuke’s favourite.” 

That makes the black-haired kid blush, and Sasuke gives him a warm smile. Well, it’s the truth, isn't it. “Speaking of strategy, what is the most important part?” 

“Be aware of alternatives?” 

“Take into account mistakes?” 

“Don't count on strangers?” 

“Understand your weakest and strongest points?” 

All good strategy knowledge, Sasuke agrees. But the most important one wasn't said. Time to ask the master? “Shikamaru?” 

“Risks contra gain,” the genius stands up and Sasuke backs away to give his friend space. Shikamaru moves to stand in front of the class, and when passing Sasuke, he gently touches his upper arm. 

Touch starved, lonely Sasuke nearly whines at that contact. 

Chapter Text

Laying on the grass close to the riverside and feeling calmer than he had in a decade, Sasuke slowly went through the entire class on strategy. Shikamaru was an exceptional sensei, he spoke confidently and answered all questions with questions, trying to make his class find the answers themselves. He was adamant to teach them how not to lead strategy and tactics, what are the biggest mistakes and how to avoid them, rather than to teach them how to create strategy. 

Sasuke remembers this lesson when Iruka was teaching it. He forced them to learn ten basic strategies and repeat them into a test - unnecessary, stupid, and no way to raise intelligent young adults. But the way his own generation took care of the kids, was rather beautiful, and the Uchiha couldn't be prouder of all who took a part in being senseis to the youngest generation. 

When he decided to take a route around Konoha, he forgot that there are other lands and other clans, not as friendly to the Uchiha like Yamanaka and Nara. He hoped he will be allowed to walk freely without encountering anyone, but of course, he wasn't one to be as lucky. When he took a turn behind the Aburame residence, he saw the Hyuuga princess walking right towards him. Sasuke slowed down when she got close, stopped then, and bowed down. 

She stopped too. She didn't bow to him - Uchihas and Hyuugas were not on friendly terms. Sasuke didn't expect any courtesy, or common civility. She never cared for him when she was a child, and he ignored her just like everyone else. 

“Princess,” Sasuke straightened and wanted to continue on his walk, but concluded he won't be permitted, when she activated Byakugan. 

“You aren't welcome on these grounds,” the princess informed him coldly. 

Sasuke should have expected it. He was a Konoha resident, yes, but that didn't mean he was welcomed on grounds so close to clans’ residences. He should have realised sooner. He slightly bows his head. “My apologies, princess.” 

Sasuke slowly, as to not appear threatening, turns around and is about to leave. 

“Wait,” she stops him. 

Sasuke turns around. He’s close to her grounds, he has to be respectful. Hyuugas and Uchihas aren't on friendly terms, after all. 

“Why are you back?” It sounds accusing. 

“My hokage called for me.” 

“Naruto never speaks about you.” 

Sasuke remembers the female products in Fox’ bathroom; are those hers…? 

“There’s war coming, princess. Konoha’s affairs precedes personal matters.” 

Raising her chin she purses her lips, as if she disdains such excuses. Sasuke remembers Ino’s warning - if the Hyuuga princess is this unfriendly, how are Kiba or Sakura going to react when he meets them? 

“I do not wish for you to speak to Hatori-san any more, Uchiha-san.” 

Ah. That’s what this is about. “My apologies, Princess. I have never meant any harm. Hatori-san is an intelligent, perceptive, talented child.” 

Judging by her expression, he said something she didn't expect. “Yes, that… that he is.” 

He bows down again. “I apologise for causing trouble to your clan, Princess. It was not my intention. I will make sure not to cross paths again. I wish you a pleasant day.” 

Depression that left him yesterday when he touched Kyodai is back, and perhaps even stronger than it was. His future is deemed, there’s no light for him. With all he’s broken four years ago, there is nothing here left for him. Taking the longer, less comfortable route around the city, careful not to approach any other clan member, he finds himself back in the flat. Fox isn't here, obviously, but before he even takes off his coat, another ninja appears next to him. 

“Lion,” Sasuke greets him. 

“Ah, you again,” disappointed. “I hoped Fox is back.”

Sasuke shakes his head. 

Lion looks around. “No dinner today?” 

Had this been four years ago, Sasuke would at least attempt to break his spine. Today, he remembers his brother’s beautiful smile. “I was about to start on a homemade miso.” 

Sasuke must have said something that disturbed the Lion, as the man doesn't speak nor move for a few seconds. Sasuke walks into the kitchenette, washes his hands up to his elbows, gets the ingredients, and starts working on their dinner. 

“Was that an invitation?” Lion asks. 

His mind is full of smiling Itachi in the late summer light, Shikamaru’s handshake, Ino’s “I’m proud of you”. If he’s to survive Lion’s bullying and ridiculing, he will do it with grace. Shikamaru and Ino are on his side; and so far, that is what truly matters. 

“Of course,” Sasuke says without looking at him. “Your patrol must have been long and tiring.” 

“It… was,” Hyo agrees. There’s something in his voice, an emotion Sasuke wasn't any good at recognizing. “Do you need help?” 

Sasuke shakes his head. Lion takes a scroll and starts reading. Sasuke cooks. There’s silence that makes Sasuke forget he has unpleasant company - Lion sometimes looks up as if he wants to start a conversation, but he never starts, and Sasuke isn't stupid enough to force him. This isn't his place. This isn't his friend. 

Lion helps to set the table, and before he digs in, he says the “itadakimasu” like he means it. They ate in silence, except for Lion’s praise to Sasuke’s cooking. After the meal, Lion stands up. “Thank you.” 

“You are welcome.” 

“Good… night,” Lion wishes him, seals off and disappears. 

- Thisss wasssn’t half assss bad assss we feared. - 

Ignoring Orochimaru but silently agreeing with him, Sasuke takes his laundry, insisting there must be somewhere to wash these in the building. He’s lucky, he finds the room and finds it empty, which only pushes his good mood up, even more so when he finds there are public, shared showers here. When he tries to run the water he finds it nearly hot. His mood goes rapidly up - Uchihas are sensitive to cold, and Sasuke hates it.

Coming back to the flat he cleans the kitchen, sets the dinner for Naruto if he comes back, takes his night clothes and a towel and comes back down to the showers. 

He’s not as lucky this time - the place is actually full of people, two female, three male. They talk to each other, yell, laugh, banter. Sasuke considers turning around and leaving, but one of the females has already seen him. Brunette, around Itachi’s age, small and rather muscular one - definitely an active ANBU. He slightly bows his head and pointedly doesn't look at anyone as he starts stripping. He’s nearly naked when the girl caught the other’s attention and pointed out to the Uchiha. 

“Ah, look who came down with the plebs,” one of the boys says; red head, grey eyes, tattoos all over his lean, sinewy body. Sasuke bows to him too, not sure if it’s appropriate to speak. Nearly nobody wants him in this village, and he certainly doesn't have any allies in this room. 

Chapter Text

Another male’s head peeks from behind the stall, this one Sasuke recognizes, even a bit older as he is, a bit more attractive, and slightly squarer than he remembers. “Oh, fuck me, Uchiha!” 

“Haha, don't just say that! The boss said he’s bent !” the third boy laughs out loud in a way that definitely isn't friendly. 

It gets only worse from there. Kiba doesn't laugh, he actually frowns and just like that, naked, wet, with some shampoo still in his hair he stalks towards the youngest Uchiha. Sasuke is naked as well, but against well-built, muscled Kiba he feels tiny, small. Looking around make him realize he’s the shortest, as well as the weakest one here. This definitely wasn't a smart decision, Sasuke reflects. 

“You and I are going to have a little chat,” Inuzuka growls. 

Sasuke doesn't step back, but his first instinct is exactly that - Kiba is at least three inches taller and obviously pissed off. 

“I don't give a single fuck about politics, and I could fuck the entire ‘he had to leave’ bullshit,” he seems to speak more to himself than to Sasuke, “tell me, you selfish, arrogant bastard,” Kiba looks straight through his eyes into the soul the genius doubts he has, “did you enjoy it, when you kicked the life out of Naruto?!” 

“As much as Naruto did,” wasn't probably what Inuzuka wanted to hear, but was what Sasuke meant. 

Sasuke is ready to get a fist in the face, he’s ready to take the beating Kiba is about to give. It looks for a second like he’s about to take a swing at Sasuke’s face, like he’s going to give him what he deserves, but then his face breaks as if he’s barely holding up tears. “Why did you do that, then?!” the voice of a young man Kiba has become, breaks in the most heartbreaking way, and Sasuke understands this isn't about him, or about Kiba. 

It’s about Naruto. (It’s always been about Naruto.) 

“I had to leave because he needed me to,” Sasuke tells nothing except the truth, “and I came back just the same.” 

“What - what made you think - what made you - do you have any idea what it was like, watching him break after you left?!” 

That brings surprise to Sasuke’s face. Ino told him Naruto never spoke about the Valley of the End, and Shikamaru told him Sakura and Kakashi were those who found him. Sakura hates him, while Kakashi might have understood. Kiba is the only one who delineates how Naruto really was after Sasuke left the village. And apparently, it was fucking ugly. 

Everyone in the showers is now watching them except for one of the girls, who are enjoying their shower and pretend they are not here. There’s one female ANBU at the back stall, she’s older than the rest, this certainly isn't the first shower tiff she’s witnessing and not reporting back, even though she is expected so by her immediate superiors. 

There’s a moment of silence, where Sasuke expects to be hit and Kiba is waiting for a signal in Sasuke’s face to provoke him into it. Just two years ago, that would be precisely what Sasuke would do. Provoke them, let them hit him, bound him, even rape him, if they deemed so, only for one simple reason: to get more fuel for his hate and rage, to feed the ever burning love for… hate. 

The Uchiha curse. 

“There is an enemy beyond the border,” Sasuke speaks evenly, “an enemy who doesn't want your land or your money, and is ready to kill for it. There is an enemy there who doesn't follow any known shinobi rule. He wants the soul of the most important person of your life, of Ino’s, Shikamaru’s, Kakashi’s, mine, this generation’s, probably this entire village’s.”

Sasuke allows himself to breathe out slowly so as not to disturb Kiba’s concentration. The tenacity to start hitting him hasn’t left him yet, just that something has shifted in his brown eyes. 

“And we barely know how to repel the first line of his many attacks,” Sasuke finishes his line of thinking. “Leaving Naruto was the only way to at least attempt to… save him. Us all, actually.” 

“I’m not witty and smart like you are, Uchiha,” Kiba growls, “so kindly dumb it down for me. Why the fuck did you leave, and why the fuck have you come back.” 

“Not understanding my point of view doesn't make you dumb,” Uchiha says evenly. “It makes you cautious. My reason was simple, to save the only person I truly ever care about; Naruto. I saw the Akatsuki destroy and kill the best of Konoha shinobi. I had to learn from those who could beat them - knew how, and knew why.” 

Now there is a glint of understanding in Kiba’s eyes. 

“When I found out Uchiha Madara is still alive and going after Naruto, among others, what did you expect me to do,” Sasuke takes the liberty to dare the junior ANBU. “Wait around for another massacre to destroy the rest I considered my family?” 

There is a second of silence, and Kiba’s face goes softer for a while. “Why didn't you tell anyone?!” 

This time, Sasuke chuckles, and Kiba’s murderous expression snaps back to place. “Whom was I supposed to tell, when it was the Sandaime and the Elders who worked with Danzo, and it was them who ordered the slaughter of my family? It was them who knew Madara was still alive, and did nothing to prevent the war?” 

Now there’s a real understanding in Kiba’s face, but he still holds on to what he thinks is the truth. “You wanted to leave.” 

It sounds a bit like a question. 

“I wanted nothing but to stay close to the only person I’ve ever loved.” 

Sasuke didn't mean to say this. He didn't mean to admit - fuck . He’s red in the face, and despite his training, he’s unable to look Inuzuka in the eye. 

And Kiba, who looks ready to let the Uchiha go, makes it even worse. “Uchihas… only ever love once.” 

Sasuke steals himself, and looking directly in Kiba’s eyes, he says: “Indeed.” 

Finally, the ANBU lets go of him. “I… I thought you had no idea. What it was like for him, when you left.” 

Sasuke expects the punch in his face now, but it never comes. Kiba steps back, and there’s understanding in his eyes.

“Leaving him was… the bravest thing I had to do. And the hardest,” Sasuke admits. “I can't regret it because I’ve learned how to protect him. However, I will always regret leaving him, and losing him.” 

Kiba sighs and ruffles his own hair in a desperate gesture. Then he goes back to the stalls area, where the other ANBU stand, finds his running shower, and pushes his head in. Then steps away and motions for Sasuke to share the stall with him.

When Sasuke encountered one of those he was warned to avoid, this wasn't what he expected. And it wasn't what should happen, either. But Sasuke accepts the offer for what it is and shares one shower stall with Kiba. They don't talk, and they don't look at each other. Only after Kiba turns off the water, he looks at Sasuke and smirks: “I imagined how to torture the arrogant brat I remember. I actually have no idea how to treat you now, Sasuke.” 

“As you deem me worthy, Kiba-san,” Sasuke bows his head slightly and takes his towel. 

“How can I deem you unworthy, when, to save Naruto, you sacrificed your own ego above everything?”

Sasuke actually chuckles: “I didn't have much before I left, Kiba-san. Let alone after.” 

There is silence again as they dress themselves. Sasuke notices that the other occupants of the showers are minding their business and wonders if it is a golden rule they silently follow. Then Kiba whispers: “He was devastated. For months, he didn't do anything else besides training, determined to find you and bring you back. He didn't talk to anyone, he barely ate, only… he was hyperfocused just on you. And even now, it’s… he never speaks about you. Not in words, at least. But it… it stayed with him. And even now when I mentioned how… it went, seeing you after four years, he just… turned around and started talking about my newest mission. He, fuck. He’s hurting too, Sasuke.” 

“I left knowing what to expect when I came back. I know what I deserve for leaving him,” Sasuke hears himself say. It's as easy as that. For some reason, Kiba doesn't want to kill him for being in love with his Hokage. He doesn't seem to hold any more grudges against him, either. 

“If the both of you are hurting, isn't it logical to just… talk it out?” there is desperation in Kiba’s voice, and an emotion he himself probably doesn't know how to deal with. “To see… if you can forgive each other?” 

Sasuke remembers, word to word, Naruto’s reaction to his own “I missed you”. ‘We have never been friends. One day, you’ll come to me and kill me for what was done to you, to Itachi. I’ll die by your hand, and I’ll be content with it.’ 

“Whatever emotions there might have been before I left,” Sasuke sighs, “I’m sure it’s gone now.” 

Suddenly, there’s a warm palm resting on his shoulder. Looking up slightly panicked he finds Kiba looking at him with care and an attempt of comfort. How much can a gentle touch change in a person? Apparently a lot. Touch-starved and getting ready to die, Sasuke had to look away. He isn't crying, it’s not like he really can, after all. But if he was someone else, someone whose emotions were still working, he would collapse into Kiba’s arms and cry for hours. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke wakes up on the side of a bed he fell asleep on and finds the other half is still warm. Naruto must have left just a few minutes ago. Sasuke finds his cheeks burning when he imagines the love of his life sleeping next to him, but immediately shakes his head to chase away those thoughts. Getting up he finds breakfast on the table, and dinner from last night probably eaten, the dishes in the sink. Naruto isn't in the flat. 

Sasuke eats his breakfast, and when Ino comes for him two hours later, it’s to tell him good news. “Your brother is heading to the village.”

Sasuke assumes that was her mission, and being back means she was successful. 

“You and Naruto will interrogate Danzo today.” 

Recalling Naruto’s own words about Sasuke being the only one who can hold him down, he nods and tries to look professional, even when he isn't. Heading to the Official building in silence Sasuke can't tell whether it is comfortable or not. He was never good at this. 

Does she know what he told Kiba yesterday? Did she talk to the Princess? Did Shikamaru’s information about Sasuke being able to share memories scare the leaders? Did the reports she, Lion, Kiba, Shikamaru or the ANBU watching him show something she didn't approve of? 

When they reach the building, she turns to him, her face frustrated, angry… sad. “Why didn't you tell me?” 

Ah. So it was a pissed off silence. Sasuke considers playing dumb, but he owes her more than that. “It barely holds any importance.” 

“Barely - Sasuke, he…!” she shuts herself up, obviously overwhelmed by her own emotions.

“My apologies. I underestimated… the importance of such information.” 

“You - Sasuke, it’s… it’s true, then. You really… Naruto is your…” 

“Uchihas only ever love once,” Sasuke nods and bows his head. “I am aware my feelings are unimportant in this war.” 

I am a weapon. I wish to be used as one, for those I swore my loyalty to. My life after the war doesn't hold any importance, either. 

She stares him dead in the eye without blinking. 

“I honestly thought you'd figured it out,” he explains silently. 

Sighing, she ruffles both hands over her face and chuckles angrily: “Yeah - yeah, I think I did, I just… it felt so - so unreal to -... but yes. Yes, I should have realized. You were quite… transparent, to think about it.” 

Sasuke nods and waits for further instructions. Ino takes a while of looking around and running her hands through her face a few more times, before she walks into the building. Without a word, entirely professional. Sasuke schools his face as he kneels for his hokage. Ino smirks and does the same. Naruto gestures for them to get up and speaks to Sasuke as he was any other nameless ANBU he trusts. 

“We are going to interrogate Danzo. Is Orochimaru contained?” 

“Yes.” 

 -The prisssssoner sssseal issss sssstrong. - 

Not a word about sleeping next to each other. Not even a muscle in his face gives away whether his ANBU informed him about Sasuke’s feelings or not. Not a thank you for dinner, not any acknowledgement about the breakfast he prepared for Sasuke. 

Naruto leaves his supposed-to-be Hokage cloak thrown over the back of his chair, leaving him in his ANBU gear. If Sasuke thought Naruto is sexy in his hokage robes, his ANBU gear is a hundred times worse . Sasuke swallows, looking down rather than anyone else, and follows his hokage, who takes his Fox ANBU mask and leads him away from his office. “Send for Wolf and Rat. Oh, and tell Lion I’ll need him on the Fourth mission.” 

“Yes, ho-” 

“Leave it, Ino,” Naruto interrupts her, and this time there is something hard, angry in his voice. 

“I’m sorry, Captain.” 

Naruto nods and turns away to leave the room. Sasuke goes right behind him, and realises they are alone again. Knowledgeable about Naruto’s opinion on him and their relationship, Sasuke doesn't even try to make a conversation. 

“We left Danzo with chuunins. We won't transfer him to an interrogation room. I want us to appear as a team, you as my ANBU. Can you play along?” 

“Yes, Captain.” 

“I’ll lead the interrogation, you may ask him about your past and family, not on behalf of the village, past hokage, or me. Are we clear?” 

His instructions are clear and simple, his leadership absolute. He knows exactly who he is, what is expected of him, how strong he is, what he wants from this situation, how to speak and what to say. 

Gone is the little boy who didn't know a single thing about being responsible, or about being a shinobi, let alone a leader. This man is a hokage, whether he wants it or not. 

“Yes, Captain.” 

“I want you to call me Fox or Naruto for this purpose. When it comes to Itachi, you and your family, give him your worst. Torture is allowed, but he won't die until I say so, and I am the one who ends his life unless I instruct otherwise.” 

“Understood, Fox.” 

Naruto gives him a look that is still angry, but just like with Ino, he can't place his emotions, nor can he really understand them. He wasn't raised to be a social butterfly. He was raised to be a killer. 

“Confidential information such as about Itachi and Orochimaru may be revealed. Danzo is not going to live past today.” 

Sasuke nods. “Understood, Fox.” 

“Questions?” 

“No, Fox.” 

He sounds like a shinobi, Naruto muses. And he says Naruto’s ANBU name like it was a title. Like he was saying something completely else by the generic “Fox”. It takes Naruto a while, but before he even opens the door to Danzo’s cell, he realises how Sasuke calling him Fox sounds. Like he was calling him ‘hokage’. 

But that’s impossible, right? 

Chapter Text

Naruto sneers and turns to face the demon in chains. 

The room is full of chuunins. Sasuke stands next to the door, leaning against the wall, his hands crossed in front of his chest. He knows how to look intimidating when he needs to. 

“Hey, kids,” Naruto smiles at the bunch. They are barely five years younger than him. “What’s up?” 

They love him, Sasuke recognizes. It’s obvious. The young chuunins are all over their hokage, telling him one over the other what happened during their shift, and what they were doing on their last mission and when is their next one. Sasuke locks his eyes with Danzo’s, who is obviously held here without food and rest, and without all the sharingans Orochimaru implanted into him. 

 - “He wassss a paying cussstomer.” - 

Ignoring Orochimaru’s voice is something Sasuke is getting used to. It’s not like he’s going to have to endure it for long. 

“Thanks, guys, your shift is over now. Find Shikamaru-sensei and tell him you are ready for a lecture in interrogation,” Naruto tells them in an authoritative but kind tone. 

Sasuke can't ignore the way his cheeks redden, and how his posture is all wrong when he’s looking at the love of his life. There is nothing, in this world or any other, that could make him stop loving this man. Every move he makes, every word he says, Sasuke is falling deeper and deeper, and if he had any self-worth, he would be embarrassed about it, shy and timid, but there is no future for him. Not in the way he, once, hoped for. 

“Naruto-san, can't we stay here and watch the interrogation?” one of the chuunins asked. “It’s much better to learn from practise!” 

Naruto chuckles and gently ruffles the boy’s soft blue hair. “I have to agree, I myself am also better at hands-on learning, but this interrogation isn't something kids should see. One day, Ikeru. One day, you will be standing by my side, interrogating our enemies. But for that, you have to pass all your classes, and all your exams. Can you do that for me?” 

“Sure thing, Naruto-sama!”

They love him, Sasuke notes. They adore him and care for him as much as he adores and cares for them. Sasuke didn't know his heart can hurt like this, but it does - and it gets worse when his hokage leans down to the boy and kisses his forehead. “I’m proud of you. All of you. Now, out of here, you lot! Shikamaru-sensei is waiting for you.” 

“Yep!” 

And just like that, they are gone. Naruto closes the door, and as an afterthought, he seals them with markings Sasuke has never seen before. 

“Hello, Danzo. Enjoyed your time?” there’s a sneer in Naruto’s face Sasuke isn't familiar with. 

It speaks volumes about his personality and growth. 

“You are a piece of shit, child, and not a Hokage! The babies you call chuunin have no respect! They don't listen to you! They question your decisions! They are prone to opinions! The village will fall under your reign!!!” 

“Lovely,” Naruto murmurs and sits down by the table. “Exactly what I want.” 

“You and your recklessness will be the end of Konoha! You will murder hundreds with your ignorance!” 

“You killed your hundreds before I was even born, Danzo, and I’m not yelling at you, either,” Naruto mumbles again and opens the file he brought with him. “Now, were you informed of your execution?” 

“Like I care! I only ever acted in the name of Konoha! And its people!” 

“Uchiha Sasuke and Namikaze Naruto will lead your interrogation, Danzo Shimura. At the end of our questioning, you will be executed. Questions?” 

“Uchiha Sasuke?! The asshole who left the village?! And you brought him back, are you insane, you stupid kid!?!”

“Let’s start at the beginning. How did you come to power?” 

“Where is the hokage? Where are the elders?! I only answer to the leaders of this village!” 

“You lost all your privileges the second you were arrested,” Naruto reminds him dully. “But unless you forgot, your Hokage has a hospital to run, and her second in command is on a dangerous mission to retrieve what you lost us. Don't you remember? You were responsible for his demise, and for his following of Uchiha Madara.” 

“I wasn't responsible for anything!” 

“So you say Uchiha Madara took the boy without your knowledge?” 

Sasuke listens, and tries to figure out what this is about. Dog’s mission is obviously dangerous, but Sasuke still has no clue what it is his old sensei is after. 

Tenacious silence, and hard breathing. Danzo is obviously losing his upper hand. “Uchiha Madara had only one purpose. Find Rinnegan.” 

“And he was successful. Do you realize the night Uchiha Madara stole Rinnegan, Namikaze Minato, your hokage, was murdered by him?” 

“Namikaze Minato wasn't my hokage. And he was murdered by Kyuubi. The Kyuubi you bear under your heart, and call your ally.” 

“Kurama didn't kill anyone. Uchiha Madara took possession of his mind and killed Namikaze Minato on someone’s order. That someone was you, and it was a payment for Itachi Uchiha, a thirteen years old genius, who was later sent towards Madara. Again, by you.”

“Uchiha Madara was told to do what we agreed on.” 

“Kill Namikaze Minato and take Rinnegan.” 

Danzo’s eyes are hateful when he admits: “Yes.” 

Sasuke finally understands how much they have in common, Naruto and him. This is the man who murdered both of their families. 

“Uchiha Madara was supposed to seal Kyuubi into me, for Kyuubi was the price for his business with you, correct?” 

“Yes. I then promised to take care of the Uchiha clan, which I did,” hateful look finds Sasuke now, who is still leaning against the wall. 

There is a silence, and Sasuke realises Naruto is giving him a chance to speak. Sasuke takes the chance, and decides to go with his gut feeling. He remembers what Orochimaru hinted at, and that man is a lot of things, but he is not a liar. “Let’s talk about your friend, Orochimaru.” 

Danzo sneers. “The paedophile is not my friend.” 

“He says otherwise,” Sasuke continues. “Says that you promised him Sandaime, if he attaches the stolen sharingans to you.” 

“That sneaky liar! I only ever promised him I won't hunt him down! He was free to go!” 

“Did you know he joined Madara, shortly?” Sasuke asks, taking chances. Danzo obviously has his own truth he believes, even when those are obvious lies, compared to the evidence they acquired. 

“Yes. I had him followed, for a while.” 

“Why then, would Orochimaru sell you out?”

“The fucking asshole didn't sell me!!! He was scared of me!!”

Sasuke slowly leans away from the wall and joins Naruto by the table, pulling the chair next to him casually. “Then explain why you are here in chains, arrested by Fox and interrogated by the two of us?” 

That seems to make the old fart rethink his attitude, because next time he speaks, he’s looking at Sasuke with unsure eyes. “What exactly did the snake tell you?” 

Sasuke shrugs. “You know him. Nothing concrete.” 

Danzo takes a good look at the Uchiha, and then starts laughing. “Prisoner seal! You imprisoned Orochimaru in your mind, you idiot?! Him, the master of all ninjutsu, and you accepted him into your mind?! Are you stupid, Uchiha brat?!” 

- Assssk him about the Night, Ssssassssuke.- 

“Orochimaru told me about the Massacre, Danzo,” Sasuke tried. “He told me how you threatened my brother. How you tortured his young mind. And how you sold him to Madara, too. He showed me the scrolls signed by you and Elders, personally. I saw your orders, black on white.” 

“He went willingly!” Danzo yells. “The fucking brat ignored my orders, and then acted as if I was the one who put it together! The entire plan of Uchiha assassination was Madara’s!” 

“Are you saying that it wasn't you who gave the order?” 

“Of course it was me who gave the final order!” the old man yells. 

- Liesssss .- 

Sasuke leans away from the table, his voice deeper than usual. “I don't know what game you are playing, Danzo. No matter how much you want to see yourself as the head of all machinations, I know for a fact you are just another puppet in Madara’s play.” 

Naruto turns his head to look at his ex best friend. Does he have info beyond what’s in the files? And then he remembers that within the prisoner seal, Orochimaru can talk to its bearer. Deciding to leave it to Sasuke, Naruto turns back to Danzo to study his body language. He’s never seen a more dangerous monster before him. 

“Uchiha Madara is just a pawn!” Danzo screams. “He never did anything I didn't order him to!” 

- Why would a hundred yearsss old Uchhhhiha ever lisssten to hisssss power obsssesssed doll? - 

“Why would Uchiha Madara, who is over a hundred years old, who knew techniques and jutsus you can't even imagine, who possessed Mangekyou and Rinnegan, ever listen to a half blind idiot?” 

“BECAUSE I-AM-POWER!” 

“You are a stupid puppet, and hold no information we didn't know about. Everything is in the scrolls and correspondence between Uchiha Itachi, yourself, and between the Elders members and yourself, and between Sandaime and yourself.” 

Naruto eyes Sasuke, who seems done with the man, and Danzo, who really looks kinda pathetic. Perhaps Sasuke is right and Danzo is only a pawn - the argument about Madara ever being scared of Danzo is ridiculous. What does Danzo have that Madara doesn't? He wasn't even in a leading position before Namikaze Minato died. It’s obvious now Madara’s claws were deep in this man, and it was actually Uchiha Madara, who has been running this village for the past twenty years, or even more.

“I agree, Sasuke,” Naruto says casually - and his name, Sasuke’s name, sounds so sweet from his mouth. Sasuke doesn't try to dwell on it, but hearing his name, having Naruto agree with him, having a conversation with him, even if only pretended, is nearly too much for the Uchiha. “It seems we overestimated Danzo’s influence and power over the past. It seems logical that Uchiha Madara used him to get the village, the nation even, where he needed it.” 

“I’m afraid so. We may ask Orochimaru over this five-year-old child throwing a tantrum,” Sasuke suggests and Naruto chuckles. 

Sasuke wants to believe his reaction is sincere, but he knows better. 

“You are going to believe a dirty ass fucker, a perverted psycho, over me, the leader of this village?!” 

“What’s with him and judging people’s sexual orientation?” Naruto wonders. 

“What’s with him and believing he ever was a leader of this village,” Sasuke deadpans, which has Naruto emit a short laugh. Sasuke remembers his wonderful, gentle brother and adds both memories to those he cherishes the most. 

“Any further questions?” Naruto asks his companion when he stands up. 

Sasuke stands up as well and without thinking he answers in a gentle tone, “None, Naruto.” 

His hokage doesn't react at all, instead, he takes a kunai in his hand. “Danzo, for your actions against the village and against its residents you are sentencing yourself to death.” 

Sasuke can't stop the shivers that run down his spine when he hears Naruto speak in such an authoritative voice. Danzo doesn't have a single second to speak before Naruto cuts his throat. They watch the old Shadow bleed to death for about five minutes, after that, they leave the room. Two ANBU standing guards go inside to take care of the body. 

Naruto takes the wet towel Ino hands him and leads both of them back to his office. 

“So?” Ino asks. “What did we learn?” 

“Sasuke made him admit Danzo didn't lead this village. He was a pawn to Uchiha Madara even before I was born, and therefore before he found Rinnegan.” 

Ino eyes the Uchiha, then asks her hokage: “He wasn't keen on giving us any further info, was he?” 

“Worse,” Naruto sighs. “He wasn't even aware he was either manipulated, or completely played by Madara.” 

Ino curses. “So what now? The war is coming, and we have no idea how to defeat Madara.” 

“There is one more person to interrogate,” Naruto reminds her, and then turns around to face Sasuke. “Is he willing?” 

 - I have thingssss to sssshare. - 

“He was helpful before, and he helped today with Danzo. I’m certain he knows contexts he did not mention before, but what he’s willing to share, that I don't know.” 

“I’ll be ready to break the seal when your brother joins us. I am meeting him later today beyond the border,” Naruto informs him as he sits behind the desk with a folder on Danzo. As an afterthought, he adds: “You may join me.” 

Sasuke’s heart rejoices, but his features won't betray him. “Time and place?” 

Naruto doesn't look up when he says: “Five o’clock, west border.” 

“I’ll be there.” 

Chapter Text

Sasuke expected at least an ANBU team, but when Naruto meets him at the gate, he’s alone. It’s not like it makes Sasuke nervous, it’s just that Naruto isn't the child Sasuke remembers, well, perhaps he is, he’s just… so much more than that. And if Sasuke thought he was in love when he last saw him, he wouldn't know how to describe his feelings now. So the realisation he will possibly spend hours alone with him walking through the woods of western Land of Fire is making him a little… fuzzy. He tries to hide his blush and his shaking hands, but he doesn't really need to, Naruto doesn't spare him more than a single look. 

They don't run. 

Naruto walks calmly, but with purpose. He’s holding himself proudly and lets his enemies see his muscled body, his long braid at the back of his neck, and all the weapons he’s carrying. The tattoo looks amazing. He looks amazing. 

After a few minutes, Naruto finally speaks. “Itachi agreed to interrogate Orochimaru, but he doesn't know how to release the prisoner seal.” 

“I know,” Sasuke confirms. 

“Do you believe Orochimaru has the information that could help us beat Madara?” 

“I’m not even sure winning the war is possible,” Sasuke tries to hold his wavering voice steady. “Even with the right information.” 

“Have you encountered him? Madara?” 

It’s not really a conversation. It’s not personal. Naruto isn't talking to fill up the empty space, he’s asking about crucial information. Perhaps he’s making sure all the info he has adds up, and one or more parties don't lie to him. Sasuke doesn't know how many informants the Hokage has. 

“No. Not even Itachi ever really met him. He is… hiding his body, as he has to, I suppose.” 

“Is he using one of Orochimaru's eternal-life techniques?” 

- No.- 

“Orochimaru says no. Itachi thinks it’s rinnegan.” 

“The rinnegan that Nagato had.” 

“Yes. Madara needed to keep his Mangekyou, so he gifted his rinnegan to Nagato, and used him for his cause. Well, tried to use him. He failed.” 

Naruto looks up to the skies, watching a hawk fly above them. “He didn't fail. He… realized that his ways were not what he once thought.” 

Maybe that was the answer, then, Sasuke thought. Naruto’s power and his Will of Fire might be the answer to the conflict. 

There is silence after that, and Sasuke realises how many things go unnoticed, unsaid. When did Naruto find out who his parents were? When did he find out about Kyuubi? When did he meet Itachi? And of course, all the questions about Sasuke. Did Naruto care at all, or was it beyond the ‘we have never been friends’ border? 

Sasuke didn't know.

“Itachi is alone, not even half an hour before us,” Naruto informs him after a few minutes. 

The rest of the journey continues in silence, no matter how many questions there hang between them. 

Chapter Text

Meeting Itachi again is like a hot shower after a shift in freezing cold. Sasuke stands still behind his hokage when they meet on the clearing, but after Naruto bows to his brother, and after Itachi repeats the gesture, Sasuke smiles and takes three steps forward. Naruto doesn't say anything, hence Sasuke takes the liberty to move all the way to his brother and after a quick look in his gentle, timid eyes, he envelops him in a silent, strong hug. 

Itachi closes his eyes and after a second hugs his brother, desperately close. 

The chances of them meeting were low. 

“Sasuke,” Itachi whispers and buries his head in his brother’s neck. 

Sasuke squeezes his brother’s narrow waist and breathes him in. He’s finally at peace. 

When the siblings let go and Itachi steps closer to the hokage, Naruto gives him a soft smile. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Itachi.” 

No honorifics, Sasuke notices. 

“I’m glad I am welcomed, Naruto.” 

From either side. Sasuke doesn't want to ask, but he’s desperate to know. How did they find each other? What’s the story behind this? Why didn't his brother tell him? 

“You always will be, if that is your wish,” Naruto smiles at him politely. 

Itachi looks around the clearing. “Is this place safe?” 

Naruto obviously doesn't mind his invitation completely disregarded. Perhaps it wasn't the first time he asked, and Itachi ignored him. “Yes, it is. Not even my ANBU follow us.” 

“How did you convince them?” 

“I explained I have a sharingan bearer with me, and meeting another one,” Naruto smirks. “We should hurry. Time stands against us.” 

“Do you have a place where we can safely release Sasuke’s technique?” 

“Yes. We are meeting Shikamaru by the riverside of Nara forest,” Naruto discloses. 

Sasuke gives his brother a meaningful look, and Itachi has enough manners to at least blush. “He told you, then.” 

Sasuke gives his brother a warm smile and nods. “It took him a while to figure it out. But he knows now it was you.” 

Itachi falls in step with his sibling, preferring to walk close to him. He missed his little brother, and while he was thankful he survived, he knew their chances were slim. 

“Did you know he built the sitting area for you?” Sasuke asks silently. 

Itachi blushes when he nods. 

Catching his cold fingers in his own, Sasuke mumbles: “He likes you. You still have friends in the village, mine.” 

It came to him so easily, admitting his feelings, being the gentle support his brother needed, sought, loved. It felt so easy, giving the only person who truly loved him, what he wanted. Comfort never felt easy for him, but when it came to his brother, he didn't need his conscience to tell him what to do - he just followed his gut feeling. 

Itachi caught Sasuke’s offered fingers firmer and looked up just to see his eyes. Sasuke could tell he’s cold, so he took off his cloak and threw it over Itachi’s shoulders. Naruto, who saw this unbelievably gentle gesture, pretended he didn't. 

Ignoring things is easier than to accept them. All things considered. 

Itachi didn't thank his brother with words, but he squeezed his fingers, and Sasuke smiled at him. 

If Naruto found it odd, the soft touched and gentle smiles the siblings traded, he didn't let it show. Sasuke never let go of his brother’s fingers, not even when Naruto finally addressed him about the newest information. Sasuke realized just then that Naruto could have asked immediately, but gave the brothers a while to reconcile. He felt a single pang! close to his heart, and didn't know if it was painful, or happy. 

“I don't suppose you carry positive news, Itachi.” 

Sasuke squeezed the fingers curling in his hand protectively. 

“I’ve been compromised. Zetsu is aware of my true loyalties.” 

Naruto curses. “And Madara?” 

Itachi doesn't answer immediately. “He’s on the move.” 

“How long do we have?” 

Sasuke closes his eyes. If he knows, and if he’s aware of where Itachi is now, they barely have any time left. “Days.”

Another curse, stronger one. “And Dog?” 

“I don't have any info on him, I’m sorry.” 

More curses, and their tempo quickens. Sasuke doesn't let go of his brother’s hand for a single second. Not even when they reach the riverside, where the Nara leader is waiting for them. 

If he’s surprised to see the brothers this close, he doesn't let it show. He bows to Itachi just like Naruto before, and Itachi inclines his head towards him as well. “It’s good to see you back, Itachi-san.” 

Sasuke remembers the alliance with his friend, and how Shikamaru offered Itachi the alliance with Nara deer and their forest. He only hopes there’s time for that. He’d love to see his brother’s face after he touches Kyodai. 

Chapter Text

Shikamaru is calm when he receives the information about war. He’s calm, when he talks to Itachi about the precautions the village took. He speaks casually, quietly, slowly, and Sasuke wonders if it’s because of the memory he’s shown the Nara, of Itachi and baby Sasuke, visiting Naruto as an infant in the Orphanage. 

He wonders if Shikamaru spoke to Kiba and Ino. Wonders if Shikamaru recognised Sasuke’s feelings even before those were confirmed by his ex teammates. Probably, considering the soft look in Shikamaru’s eyes. 

“Just the four of us?” Shikamaru confirms with his hokage. 

Naruto nods, and starts painting a set of markings on the ground. After he’s finished, he motions for Sasuke to step in the middle, while Itachi has to stay away, at one of the six ends of the drawn seal on the ground. Shikamaru joins him and stands close, but not close enough to startle him. Sasuke wonders if his ally knows more than he lets on, or if he, intelligence and all, can guess why Sasuke himself is as soft with his older brother. 

Before he can give it a deeper thought, Naruto seals, unrolls three different scrolls and releases. Then he comes closer to Sasuke and asks him to take off his top. Sasuke lowers his head to hide his blush, and does as his hokage says. In a while, he’s standing by the riverside in the middle of a sealing circle half naked, with Naruto touching his stomach, the other holding a half of the rat real, where the seal is anchored. 

Sasuke swallows, and tries to not focus on the warm hand, on the tingling feeling of being touched by the love of his life, the man’s smell, his handsome features, his soft hair, his beautiful eyes. 

It takes a while of prime concentration and quite a bit of chakra, but eventually, the prisoner seal opens. Itachi is quick to hold one end with his own chakra and an anchor seal, while Shikamaru creates a mirror technique. Then it’s quick, and Sasuke feels like a part of his soul is being released from his own mind. 

When he opens his eyes, he’s laying on the ground, but Orochimaru, in his latest body, is standing in the mirror seal, right in the middle. He seems alive and well, even if slightly worse to wear, after the fight with Sasuke, and after his illness. 

Itachi seems pained; he can't rush to his brother to help him up, but Sasuke gently shakes his head, as he slowly steadies himself. He’s fine, really. Weak and would use a good night sleep, but other than that, he feels alright. 

“Good evening, Orochimaru,” Naruto greets him casually. 

He’s got an interesting way of treating his enemies. 

“Good evening, Naruto-kun. Nice to meet you, Shikamaru-kun. And, ah, good to see you, my dear friend,” the snake greets Itachi. “It’s been years, hasn’t it.” 

Itachi wisely doesn't speak, and Shikamaru isn't here to interrogate; he’s only here to assist with the prisoner seal, and of course, to judge their situation, whatever it is. 

“Orochimaru, what dealings do you have with Madara?” Naruto starts. 

“Ah, ah, ah, my little Naruto,” Orochimaru chuckles. “Now, don't be hasty. If you want my information, you shall have it. But first, why don't you tell me how you feel about Sasuke joining you, after all those years?” 

“You don't mind giving me the answers I need, then?” Naruto tries again. 

“Hm, this isn't going to work, you know,” Orochimaru looks around. He would like to sit down or at least walk, but of course, with the prisoner seal this active, he can't really move. “If you won't answer my questions, I won't answer yours.” 

“I’m glad Sasuke found his way back. Even after all that time,” Naruto repeats what he told Sasuke the first day, in his office. 

“I sense a lie there, but for now, I’ll let it slide,” Orochimaru purrs condescendingly. “To your question - no, I don't mind answering all I know.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, why would I? And more than that, I accepted my fate. I am to be executed for my crimes, which I find fair.” 

There’s a stunned silence, especially from Itachi, who knew Orochimaru longer than the other three. 

“I felt your chakra was subdued. As if you were ill,” Naruto starts slowly. 

“Well, you are not wrong. My eternal-technique isn't finished, and my lack of need to finish it didn't do well to my health.” 

“Why didn't you finish it?” 

Orochimaru shrugs and looks Naruto in his eyes. “Why would I, when the person I was trying to perform it for has died before I completed my research?” 

“...Jiraiya,” Naruto murmurs. “You were… trying to…” 

Orochimaru giggles. “There is a reason Danzo used those ugly words to describe me. I might be a pervert for loving men, but I certainly didn't kill them to become a puppet.” 

“You are not a pervert for loving men, Orochimaru,” Naruto frowns. “But for loving young boys.” 

“Ah, this rumour again,” the nuke-nin rolls his eyes. “Yes, I tend to work with young people, because there is a higher chance of them surviving my experiments. Yes, my subjects are mostly male, as there is statistically more male shinobi than female, especially those who are exceptionally gifted. Yes, I am in love with Jiraiya, no, I don't rape babies.” 

Naruto seems calmed by his explanation, but not much. “No, you only killed them.” 

There is a second of silence, and then Orochimaru chuckles. “I think it’s safe to assume I am not a good person, Naruto-kun. I killed and tortured many, but not for love of torturing and killing. I am simply obsessed with knowledge. For that, I am willing to do a lot. Even torture and kill my subjects, who happen to be usually male children, yes.” 

“You are aware of your crimes, and you are ready to die for them,” Shikamaru notes. “Why now? Why not four years ago?” 

Orochimaru chuckles, but answers as honestly as he can. “I thought it’s obvious. I was always aware I will die for my crimes. I only hoped it won't happen before I finish my technique… or before Jiraiya dies.” 

It is true, then, Sasuke notes. After Jiraiya was killed by Nagato, Orochimaru lost his purpose. 

“Now you, our young Hokage-sama,” Orochimaru’s eyes twinkle. “Tell me, how did it feel, to be nearly killed in the Valley of the End, by the person you considered your best friend?” 

“Just like Jiraiya and you, Orochimaru. I only hoped that when I let him win the fight, when I let him go, he will, one day, come back to me.” 

Chapter Text

There’s silence after that, where Sasuke looks for the real answer. Because what did that mean? Did Naruto hope, even after their fight in the Valley, that Sasuke will come back to him? 

“Do you still consider Sasuke your best friend, then?” 

Sasuke doesn't know why Orochimaru asks this. Is he just curious? Does he want to humiliate the Uchiha? Or is he… trying to help? 

“I don't think I have the capacity for such a person in my life. I’m about to become Hokage - I shan’t be left with a single best friend. Not when I have Shikamaru, Gaara, Ino, Sakura, Kakashi… there’s so many people I don't have the title for, but I would gladly enter war for.” 

Orochimaru’s eyes are tingling, and there is a smile in the corner of his lips. “You have an inane capacity for answering questions by not answering them. A rare gift, especially in a stressful situation.” 

“You know well who taught me,” Naruto gives him a timid smile. 

“Jiraiya was the best one in that,” Orochimaru agrees.

“You knew my brother was weakened,” Itachi speaks.

Naruto doesn't mind, and even if he did, he has no authority over Itachi’s actions. Nevertheless, the future hokage steps back, and lets Itachi have his round of questions. 

“And you tricked him in your care.” 

“Of course I tricked him in my care,” Orochimaru frowns. “Did you expect me to let Danzo poison his mind, and lead him to your slaughter too, Itachi?” 

Now that was interesting information. Even Itachi is shocked. 

“I hoped, at the beginning, that in his adulthood, Sasuke will join me as my ally, and we will find you and get rid of Danzo. For everything he’s done, for Yondaime, for selling the village to Madara. For chasing away Jiraiya and Tsunade, and me and you, of course. For what he’s done to you, Itachi. And what he let Madara do to your family. For the machinations that left us all, as we stand here, scarred.” 

Shikamaru understands Orochimaru is talking about the 3rd war, provoked by Madara’s machinations via Danzo, and the Kyuubi attack. His father used to have three siblings. Shikamaru used to have cousins. Fuck, he used to have an older sister he’s never met. 

“But this is better, I suppose,” Orochimaru mumbles to himself. 

“You said… you said against Danzo,” Naruto wonders. “Not Madara.” 

The nuke-nin sighs and looks up. He didn't see the skies in a long while. “As I mentioned before, It is safe to assume I am not a good person. But, perhaps, it is also safe to assume I am not an evil person, either.” 

Shikamaru speaks up then: “Evil like Madara?” 

Watching the birds, the clouds, and the ending sundown, Orochimaru shakes his head. “I don't think Madara is pure evil, either. He is… just like Itachi. And just like Sasuke.” 

What?!

“He lost the love of his life, Shikamaru-kun. Are you aware, Hokage-sama, of the “Uchihas only ever love once” curse?” 

Naruto doesn't nod, but doesn't shake his head either. Sasuke doesn't know what to make of it, but notes that for a split second, Naruto’s eyes slip towards him, then they fix back on Orochimaru, as if daring him to continue. 

“With the hatred, the Uchiha curse, the wars, and the love of their loves, what do you think it left Madara with? The hatred has taken its toll on him. I think you all know the story already.”

“Evil or not, Orochimaru, we need to destroy him. How do we do that?” 

“That, my dear Naruto, is the question. A question you need to ask right, to receive the correct answer.” 

“Orochimaru-!” 

“Naruto, don't. Let me, please,” Shikamaru jumps into his speech. Naruto shuts up, but his irritated eyes follow each of Orochimaru’s breath. “To defeat an enemy, we need to know his weak points. Do you know any?” 

“To defeat an enemy,” Orochimaru says after a few minutes of silence. 

Naruto is obviously frustrated now. He’s sweating, and his arms are slightly trembling with the need to punch the fucker in his face. 

“You need to understand him.” 

That makes Naruto lean back and exhale. Yes, that is true, but just why does Orochimaru have to be so obnoxious about it?!

“How do I understand a maniac, then,” Naruto asks, his voice forcefully bored. “Explain it to me, asshole.” 

“Naruto,” Shikamaru admonishes. “Don't.” 

“If you believe Madara to be a maniac, you won't ever defeat him, Naruto-kun,” Orochimaru explains pleasantly. “If you decide to fight him as a maniac, you lose, and everyone will die, or worse.” 

Naruto clenches his teeth. “We are running out of time, we need answers, and you-” 

“Naruto,” Shikamaru shuts him up again. “I think I understand, Orochimaru. He’s not a maniac, he’s not crazy. He has a plan, and means to use it. There is a high chance he will be successful. We need to stop him, it’s essential for our survival, for the survival of the youngest generation. Please, I’m not above begging.” 

Orochimaru looks Shikamaru in the eye, and after a second, he says: “How do you get to know an enemy… there is no way of knowing?” 

“Get to know what he is after,” Naruto recites as if from a book, and then realises what he said. “But we know what he wants! War , and power !” 

Shikamaru is inclined to agree, but by the way Orochimaru stares into the distance, he’s starting to think there’s more than meets the eye. “What does he truly want, Orochimaru?” 

“He wants the same thing you do, Shikamaru-kun. The same thing your frustrated, angry hokage wants. The same thing Itachi has wanted since before I met him. The same thing Sasuke came back to Leaf.” 

In the several minutes Orochimaru gives them, they are all thinking about what they have in common. Sasuke wants love. Naruto wants to save his village, his country. Shikamaru wants to protect the youngest generation, and his hokage, of course. Itachi wants to defeat Madara, and finally, die. 

Orochimaru looks at each of the four men, thinking about what they have in common. After a while, he decides not to torture them. “It’s peace, obviously.” 

Chapter Text

“Peace,” Naruto hisses. “Peace, by leading a war to kill most, and enslave the rest.” 

“He wants to fight… to achieve peace,” Shikamaru condones. 

In a way, it makes sense, Sasuke shrugs internally. When he kills everyone, there would be noone else to fight. No man, no trouble.

“Are you telling me that he wants to fight, kill and torture, to achieve peace,” Naruto frowns. “And you have the nerve to argue with me he’s not a maniac?!” 

“He has a plan, Naruto, maniacs aren't capable of having one,” Shikamaru explains. “Madara wants peace, and wants to achieve it by a war. That means he wants to enslave those who survive, and force them to live under his power. Am I right?” 

“No,” Orochimaru shakes his head. 

Naruto's frustrated laughter shoots through the riverside and this time, Shikamaru doesn't tell him to shut up. He actually snorts himself because now he doesn't understand it, either. Itachi, who is silent the whole time, and Sasuke, who has enough to think about for the rest of his short life, look at each other. Whatever Uchiha Madara plans, it is much worse than any of them can imagine. 

“He thinks he wants peace,” Shikamaru speaks up. “But he actually wants power.” 

“He wants power over all, and his rules for all to follow. It will be peace ruled by fear and death in case of violation. That is not peace, Orochimaru,” Naruto argues. 

“I never said I understand his way, Naruto-kun,” Orochimaru smiles at him, and Naruto’s face breaks a little. “I am saying that I am not smart enough to understand his reasons. I don't have an opinion on ways to achieve peace because I never cared for it.” 

“You care for knowledge, yes, I remember that conversation,” Naruto waves him off. “I want to know what power is Madara after.” 

“Power,” Orochimaru half-smiles. “It’s always… about power, especially with shinobi. Don't you think, Naruto-kun? It is just about what kind of power, but it’s always… about power. Everyone desires it.” 

“What do you mean?” Shikamaru asks. 

“Power,” Orochimaru chuckles, and looks straight ahead of himself, watching the Nara forest. 

Naruto doesn't like this man, and he especially doesn't like this look. It’s threatening, somehow. 

“I assume,” the nuke-nin speaks after a while. “Power is what you believe it is. Senju believed that power is prosperity. Uchihas believe power is winning all the battles, defeating all their enemies. Elders believed power is to keep people from knowledge for their own benefit. Danzo believed in absolute obedience under one dictator. Hyuugas believe it’s loyalty you can't buy. But you, my dear Naruto, just like Madara, believe it’s peace.” 

“Are you seriously comparing me to Madara,” Naruto deadpans. 

“Naruto,” Shikamaru warns.

“Are you genuinely comparing me to a sociopath?! He wants war !” 

“That he wants, yes,” Orochimaru agrees. 

“You - you aren't making any sense!” Naruto accuses the nuke-nin. 

“I genuinely think I do make sense, my Naruto. It is you who refuses to understand his point of view.” 

“What point of view is there, Orochimaru?!” 

“I wish I was smart enough to understand precisely, but I don't. I only know that there is no other way because given the time and effort, and knowledge and history, and given every opportunity and seeing the things as they are, Madara and his way are, apparently, needed.” 

Dead silence. 

“Needed,” Naruto deadpans with an ugly smirk. 

“Naruto!” Shikamaru rolls his eyes. He doesn't want to shut his hokage up, publicly belittling him, but there is obviously a reason why Orochimaru can't dumb it down, perhaps such that there is no way to explain it simply. 

“You let him say this shit to our faces?! That a war is needed?!” 

“Naruto, behave like an adult, or leave my premises!” Shikamaru scolds him. 

Orochimaru could laugh it out, but he’s actually looking pensive, perhaps a bit sad. 

“HE’S TALKING ABOUT WAR, SHIKAMARU. PEOPLE DYING, SUFFERING, AN ENTIRE GENERATION KILLED OFF, MORE ORPHANS NO ONE CAN TAKE CARE OF, EVEN LESS BABIES BEING BORN!” 

Itachi winces. Yes, each new generation is weaker in power, but also weaker in number. How many children were born in the past five years; four? Even less? There was a reason why this generation is being forced to get married and start families sooner, and also why the ANBU don't have as strict a drill as the generation before, to leave room for finding a partner. Also, the entire thing about keeping kunoichi in the village and out of danger to make it easier for them to start a family and still have an illusion of a career. 

“If you are unable to lead the interrogation, hokage-sama, I advise you to leave it to me,” Shikamaru tries to reason, but Naruto is already catching his breath for more yelling, so Sasuke speaks to Orochimaru before another round could happen. 

“You said, my old friend,” Sasuke makes a step closer to him, “that peace can be achieved, or rather, that Madara had the time and resources to give it a thought. How is that possible?” 

“He’s been thinking about how to achieve peace for the past century, and maybe more.” 

“How old he really is?” Sasuke asks. 

“Do you know how old are the statues in Valley of the End?” 

“Around 150 years, give or take?” Shikamaru guesses. 

“Give or take,” Orochimaru agrees solemnly, an impish smile on his face. “And do you know how old Madara was, when the statues were made?” 

Itachi frowns. He never thought about it, but Madara already had grandchildren when he left the village. 

“He was older than I am now,” Orochimaru confirms. 

Naruto takes a few steps back, emits an angry, disbelieving laughter, and runs his hands through his hair in utter frustration. Itachi comes back to Orochimaru’s ‘he had all the time, and all the resources’, and with a small frown looks up to meet his brother’s eyes. If they thought they were fucked two hours ago, he doesn't know how to describe their situation now. 

“Madara found the only way to achieve peace, you said,” Sasuke turns to Orochimaru again, hoping to make him talk. 

“Like I said, Sasuke-kun. Madara had all the time neither of you will ever have, and all the resources you can't ever get access to, and all the possible intelligence to his benefit to achieve the only thing he, in the end, truly wanted.” 

“Peace,” Naruto says again, it’s obvious now. He calmed down, understanding that Orochimaru isn't the one he should be mad at. He is, after all, trying to help. 

Orochimaru inclines his head, but doesn't speak. 

“And that is through a war,” Naruto confirms. 

Orochimaru doesn't speak, and doesn't even nod, he just looks at Naruto with nearly an apologetic smile. “Not just another war. The worst one yet.” 

“And you think that’s okay,” Naruto accuses his prisoner. 

“I am not smart enough to have an opinion on that, Naruto-kun.” 

“...What the fuck, Orochimaru.” 

Sasuke sneers. Only Naruto could ever get away with talking to anyone like this, let alone one of the strongest nuke-nins in history. 

“You are young, my dear Naruto. You are responsible for a lot of lives, especially from your position as Hokage. You need to have an opinion on such thing. You have friends, family, the entire village, shinobi as well as civilians, to care about and to protect. 

But I am alone. I don't have family, and I don't have friends. I don't even have allies. I am old and tired. I don't know if people dying is a bad thing or a good thing, my dear. I only know dying is a real occurrence. Common, and as needed as birth, in our world.” 

Naruto opens his mouth and Shikamaru is afraid he’ll have to shut him up again, but this time, Naruto just runs a hand through his blond hair in frustration, sighs, and doesn't say anything. 

Chapter Text

Itachi and Sasuke look into each other’s eyes. Sasuke offers a small smile, and after a second, Itachi reciprocates, even if only timidly. 

“You said you don't have anyone, Orochimaru. But you admitted you cared for Jiraiya. And that you are thriving for knowledge, for the powerful, ‘what if’, and ‘what happens when’. Say then, aren't you mad you don't get to finish your experiments and your techniques?” Shikamaru asks. 

Sasuke has to admit, it would be a smart move, if Orochimaru was normal. Or at least, still interested in life, if not success. After his answers Sasuke’s heard so far, he’s not sure anything is going to work. If there is something Orochimaru doesn't want them to know, there’s no way to get it out of him.

“Why would I pursue such techniques when I see what prolonged life does to people? Look at Madara. Look at me. I lived long enough to see my loved ones die. And Madara? All he wants is to finally die, but he can't, not before he sets the peace.” 

“Madara believes a war is the right way to achieve peace,” Sasuke concludes. 

“A war,” Orochimaru sighs, “is the only way to achieve peace. Not the smartest. Not the fastest. Not the safest. The only way.” 

Naruto makes a choked sound of frustration, and Itachi frowns. Sasuke focuses on him. On Shikamaru. … On Naruto. 

“You said you are alone, my old friend,” Sasuke says softly. “But you love Jiraiya, and you love Tsunade. If not you, they have goals. Loved ones. Future, if you will. Don't you want to protect them?” 

Orochimaru chuckles - it used to be a fearsome sound, but this time it feels rather sad. “Who am I to protect anybody?” 

“No matter your illness or your will of Fire, Orochimaru, you are one of the most powerful men I know,” Sasuke insists, hoping for it to work.

“Of course you play this card now,” Orochimaru smiles at him. “Alas, I’m afraid, my ego isn't what it used to be.” 

“I’m not exaggerating, or saying so in vain, Orochimaru. That is the simple truth.”

Naruto doesn't dare to interrupt, but Itachi, who understands they are talking to a broken man beyond any repair, realises there is one way to sway the nuke-nin. 

“All those years ago,” Itachi says with his deep, soft, silent voice. “You left the village. Will you tell them why exactly?” 

Naruto stops his pacing around, and looks up to listen. This might be an interesting answer, if Orochimaru provides one. 

“I left as I wasn't wanted in my village any more,” Orochimaru shrugs. 

“I know. That was… one of the reasons, yes. But will you tell us the other one?” Itachi prompts him. 

Orochimaru stalls for a while, looking from Sasuke to Naruto. “I was onto Sandaime before Minato died. I used to reside in ANBU-CONS. I created and led them for a few years, which means I had to walk past the Hokage’s office every time I went to my lab. I’ve heard things. I saw Danzo come and go as he pleased. I’ve heard them yell at each other. I’ve heard the words ‘Minato’, ‘assassination’, ‘finally’ and ‘being paid for service’ in one sentence. 

I’ve heard about another assassination, this time of the Uchiha clan. I’ve… It might have been Madara’s plan, and he only used Danzo and Sandaime to make it work, but the Will of Fire isn't a myth, nor is it a lie.” 

Sasuke looks up to Itachi in a silent question Itachi doesn't need to answer. His brother knew about this. “Why would you help Danzo, then? Why would you implant all of those Sharingans in him?” 

“I thought I gave the idea away already,” Orochimaru smiles. “My ego didn't like it, but I am able to admit it now, my Sasuke. I was scared and cornered into it. Threatened into it.” 

“Threatened how ?” Naruto asks before Sasuke can. Shikamaru looks like he wants to stop his hokage to make sure he won't say anything that closes the nuke-nin off, but Orochimaru doesn't seem to mind. “How would anyone threaten you , Orochimaru?” 

Sasuke looks at his brother again, and by his expression, Sasuke figures Itachi knows precisely how. Simply because the same was done to him, only a few days later. 

Orochimaru watches Naruto, examines him with his nearly soft eyes. Itachi lowers his head - it seems he was wrong about the nuke-nin, too. 

“What did Danzo force on you, my old friend?” Sasuke asks silently. 

“Danzo was obsessed with power,” Orochimaru starts, looking above the horizon where the sun went down a few minutes ago. “Obsessed to the point where my experiments were not truly mine.” 

“Are you trying to tell me those experiments Sandaime always said you were banished for, were not yours?!” Naruto hisses, and it’s obvious from his voice he doesn't believe him. 

“In my youth,” Orochimaru starts with a sigh, “I was as obsessed as he is. I’m not saying I was doing it against my will. I’m saying, where do you think I got my resources? Where do you think my subject came from? Who was responsible for hiding what exactly me and my team did in the labs?” 

“You still enjoyed it, though,” Naruto scoffs. 

“Like I already said, Naruto-kun. I thrived for knowledge. Yes, I killed and tortured, but for the knowledge the experiments brought. Not for loving to torture and kill.” 

“Whatever. So Danzo did what, threatened to tell everyone what you do in the labs? Or how did he scare you, or blackmail you, or what?” Naruto wants to know. They are running out of time. 

“Even I, in my youth, obsessed as I was, realized that the ease Danzo brought subjects into my lab, and the frequency, is rather suspicious. There were kids dying in my lab because Danzo wanted me to take bigger and bigger risks. Risks I eventually realized were not worth it. Like I said before, Naruto-kun. I am not a good person. But I hope I am not plain evil. I tried my best to ensure if my experiments are not successful, to end the torture as soon as possible. I experimented on my subjects, but I tried to evade pain as much as I could. Danzo however, insisted that subjects should be tested while conscious, so they could answer questions. And I should prolong the arising techniques for as long as possible, and I should stop until the body I was testing died of multiple organs failure. 

That wasn't what I wanted. Experiments or not, I didn't want to torture children.”

Chapter Text

Naruto’s giving the nuke-nin a long, hard look, but at the end, he slightly nods. He believes Orochimaru, at least for now. 

“At the time, I already feared Danzo was responsible for the death of my Hokage, the only one I ever respected, my ANBU captain. I also knew Itachi was being manipulated to do something horrible. I didn't know what exactly, but you can never expect anything small from Danzo. Especially when Sandaime obviously knew about it all.” 

“So you wanted to flee the village safely,” Shikamaru nods. “Without the backlash from either of them.” 

“No,” Orochimaru shakes his head. “I wanted to prevent it. I wanted Danzo to redirect his attention elsewhere to stop focusing on my children, Including Kakashi and Itachi, and especially, Naruto.” 

“Why especially me?” Naruto barks. 

“Because that was what it was, our young hokage,” Orochimaru smiles at him. “Don't you see? It was either you or Uchiha. I didn't know back then, I swear to you, Itachi, I didn't know. I was told to either transplant those Sharingans into his body, or to seal Kyuubi in him.” 

“What?!” 

By Itachi’s popped eyes, Sasuke figures this is new information for him, too. 

“And as you know, there’s no safe way to extract a tailed demon from its jinchuuriki. I was to choose between your terrible, painful death, or giving Danzo the power that was, in my eyes, harmless. The clan was dead, those eyes didn't belong to living bodies any more. I didn't know what exactly happened, but I knew you didn't slaughter them just for fun.” 

“So you… saved me,” Naruto understands. 

Orochimaru slightly inclined his head in agreement. “I trusted Danzo’s hunger for power was fulfilled, and I told him I’ll leave the village and join Akatsuki to spy on them for him. He agreed. That was my free pass away, but also my way to start working on the evidence against the Elders, against Danzo and Sandaime.” 

He eventually wanted Sasuke and Itachi to join him against Sandaime and Danzo, Sasuke figures. He never wanted power, or to rule the village. He only wanted the same thing Sasuke wants, and Itachi, and Naruto, and all that are loyal to him. 

“Have you spied on me?” Itachi asks silently.

“I always made sure I wrote in my report what Danzo wanted to hear. That you are blind to the truth. That you are lost in grief and hatred. That you are alone and miserable. He was happy, and didn't bother you.” 

Itachi closes his eyes. Sasuke believes there’s some inner fight he has with his past, with the way he perceived Orochimaru, who was obviously smarter than his brother, and a step ahead of him. 

“Are you trying to tell me that the entire time, you were a secret saviour of all?” Naruto frowns, obviously distrusting the man. 

“Have you not been listening, Naruto-kun?” Orochimaru asks gently. “I told you, I couldn't save anyone. Not you, not from hatred, and from the lies you were forced to grow up in. I ran away to focus on my knowledge, on way to destroy Danzo and Sandaime. How could I protect anyone at all, when it was my fault that Konoha doesn't have children any more? The generation of Kakashi was decimated by wars and the experiments because Danzo insisted on the subjects being from our country. 

It took me a while to realize Danzo was trying to cultivate power in a way that could be given to only certain people. The main aim was to create powerful techniques that could be transferable - just like Sharingan. So Danzo was drilling a few chosen soldiers, who were then given the exact powers cultivated just for them. And if said soldier defected, the power could be transferred to someone else, more worthy.” 

Now it’s not only Naruto who emits a frustrated, angry laughter, but Shikamaru, too. Sasuke is sneering as well. It’s obvious why there are not enough shinobi now, isn't it! 

“The ultimate purpose of Danzo, and I assume the Elders as well,” Orochimaru continues, “was to have only ten to twenty shinobi, but those would be perfect. Powerful, undefeatable, super-soldiers.” 

“Brainwashed to the bone, only reporting to Danzo,” Shikamaru completes. 

“Yes,” Orochimaru confirms. “He nearly succeeded. I also know for a fact he was keeping all ANBU, not just ROOT, on hormonal contraceptives without their knowledge.” 

“Why?” Shikamaru frowns. 

“Obvious, isn't it? He didn't need ANBU obsessed with sex, driven by hormones and urges, to actively retire to have a family. He needed power. He needed the ANBU, especially the young one, to only have one goal - following Danzo’s orders. You can't do that when you are expecting family. Your entire mindset changes with a child in the picture.” 

Naruto nods, that makes sense. Sasuke watches the nuke-nin and tries to work out what his opinion is. What he could want now, what to say to make him think about the future. He understands Orochimaru is a broken man ready for his execution, but there are lives at stake. 

“That’s why we need your help, Orochimaru,” Sasuke tries to reason. “It’s not us, we probably will die in this war just like yours died in the 2nd and 3rd. But we need to do everything we can to stop Madara and his ways. Even if what you say is right, even if the only way to permanent peace is a war and enslave the rest. Would you want Jiraiya to live in such peace?” 

Itachi, who is giving a thoughtful look to the man of Sound, asks with a soft voice: “Do you want Madara to enslave Naruto , Orochimaru-san?” 

“Naruto,” Orochimaru sighs, “is going to be dead first, if Madara has his way. He is a symbol, and as that, he needs to be publicly tortured and slaughtered. Next is going to be Kakashi, and then you, Itachi. Sasuke, I believe, is going to be the strong figure, the one who needs to be bent and broken. Enslaved, as you say, for Madara to show everyone that even the strongest have to accept his peace.” 

Naruto starts his nervous pacing again. “I understand, Orochimaru. I hear what you are saying, and I believe you.” 

There is no but in the sentence, Orochimaru notes. He inclines his head in thanks. His death won't be misunderstood, at least. 

“In all you told us, I find reason. In all your past, I understand remorse, at least towards the children. From the way you talk about him, I understand you don't follow Madara’s ways, you simply accepted them because you aren't bothered to get up and fight, or too scared to try. That is hardly a crime, however.” 

“Say, hokage-sama,” Orochimaru prompts. “Can you stop a hurricane?” 

“Hurricane lasts only some hours, Orochimaru, and then you simply rebuild. Madara, how you describe him, can live forever if he wills, and murders all with power noone can match. That is hardly a good comparison.” 

“A power noone can match,” Orochimaru repeats slowly, with a meaningful gleam in his eyes. “What is said power, hokage-sama?” 

Naruto looks at Shikamaru, and then at Sasuke. Shikamaru shrugs, but Sasuke nods. Orochimaru knows all about rinnegan. Naruto follows Sasuke’s advice and says: “Rinnegan.” 

Orochimaru looks beyond the horizon. “A power… noone can match.” 

Itachi’s gaze meets Sasuke’s, as they confirm in each other they understand where Orochimaru is probably aiming - and are horrified by it. 

Shikamaru quickly goes over all they know about Rinnegan. “A power that got stolen from those who are considered loyal.” 

“Neutral,” Orochimaru corrects. “And I were to insist, if…” and his eyes quickly skim over Sasuke, and the Nara leader. 

Shikamaru frowns, but when he looks at Sasuke and sees an ally, he comes to the simple realisation; Nara isn't neutral any more. Siding with Uchiha, and forming an alliance with him might have more far-reaching consequences than he ever anticipated. With his heartbeat picking up, Shikamaru waited for their prisoner to speak his mind. “Has Nara choosing to ally with Uchiha any hold over the Rinnegan?” 

Naruto is silent - if he’s surprised to hear this sentence, he doesn't let it show. 

Orochimaru looks thoughtful before he answers. “That, I don't know.” 

“It’s a dojutsu, my old friend,” Sasuke speaks up, trying not to look at Naruto. He hopes Shikamaru isn't in trouble for forming an alliance without hokage’s approval. “I’m sure you know everything there is about Rinnegan.” 

“Everything there is,” Orochimaru repeats slowly but seriously. “Sadly, there is not much.” 

Again, simple truth. Sasuke nor Itachi were able to find more than the legends, and the fact that wherever it was hidden, and however he did it, Madara took possession of it during the Kyuubi attack. 

“All I know is that Rinnegan shan’t be defeated, unless another Rinnegan arises.” 

The deafening silence says it all. 

“Even Uchiha Madara, as you say, with all his knowledge, time and resources, had not awakened Rinnegan,” Naruto points out the obvious. “He stole it, gifted it, and stole it back again.” 

“Perhaps, we should look at it from a different point of view,” Shikamaru murmurs thoughtfully. “Perhaps Uchiha Madara knew how to achieve it - he simply wasn't able to.” 

“Orochimaru?” Sasuke prompts him. “You must know something more.” 

“All I know is that it somehow ties to the famous ‘Uchihas only ever love once’.” 

“Which means only an Uchiha can awaken a Rinnegan?” Shikamaru wants to confirm.

“If there is another way, I do not know.” 

Itachi looks at his brother, and then eyes the young Hokage. 

“If it truly does tie to the love of our life,” Itachi’s soft voice breaks the silence, “then it must be something no Uchiha has ever done.” 

Chapter Text

As far as Itachi knew, there is no information about how to achieve Rinnegan. Shikamaru suggested that if Madara stole Rinnegan from Nara Forest, there might be info about that somewhere between the Nara secret scrolls. Naruto offered to go through the sealed documents they’ve stolen from Danzo. 

It went unsaid that the siblings won't be separated, and that they will both accompany Shikamaru. Or rather, Sasuke was aware he was not welcome at Naruto’s side, and Itachi will follow his younger brother anywhere. Shikamaru, who must have realised but says nothing, lights a cigarette, and leads his two allies to his residence. 

Near the Forrest, Itachi stops - this is his place, his last peaceful sights of this world.  

Sasuke looks up to meet Shikamaru’s eyes. “I know this is unfortunate, but I need you to offer to my brother what we agreed on, Nara-san.” 

Shikamaru frowns, unsure why is Sasuke speaking to him in such polite manner, before understanding draws on his face. Of course. There’s no time, and they must use every advantage possible. 

Itachi, unsure what was offered to him, looks from Sasuke to the young Nara leader and back. Seeing such an innocent look, and remembering the teenager who took care of newborn Naruto and baby Sasuke, Shikamaru can't disagree. He nods, and with a half-smile informs Itachi: “You were granted the access to Nara Forrest, and its Deer.” 

The look of utter surprise is as adorable as it is pitiful, and if he knew Itachi a bit better, he’s understand there are tears in his eyes. As such, Itachi looks at his brother first, and then gently bows his head towards the Nara leader. 

Shikamaru slowly bows as well, and Sasuke, just like Hyuugas do, repeats the gesture, head slightly to the left in his bow, his fist touching his chest where he can feel his heart beating. Shikamaru feels a terrible need to hug both brothers, but he won't. He’s not that soft, yet. 

“You deserve to meet Nara Deer, my dear brother,” Sasuke then leans into Itachi’s space and kisses his temple. The ‘even if only once in your life’ goes unsaid, but all three men can hear it in the silence of the riverside. 

Itachi looks up to Shikamaru again, who only nods. “You need to go alone, and you need to bow to the Deer. If they leave, never chase them. If they approach you, you may pet them. Find us in the Study - I’m sure you remember where it is.” 

Itachi doesn't blush, not precisely, but he understands Shikamaru not only figured him out, but actually decided to side with them, with him . Touched, Itachi didn't know how to react at all. 

…

Sasuke unsealed another scroll and gave it to Shikamaru, so far all the work was to naught. Itachi came back from the Nara Forrest an hour ago, silently crying, and asking for affection without words. Shikamaru watched as Sasuke gently took his brother under his wing, gently squeezed him and whispered something in his ear. They were so close, so lovely together. Shikamaru wished he could watch them (without being creepy) for hours. There was something mesmerizing about watching the brothers silently, gently cuddle, seek each other for comfort. The way Sasuke considered and regarded Itachi with gentle care was obviously appreciated, loved and reciprocated. Shikamaru couldn't tell who was more grateful for the others presence and attention, and affection, but he found the entire scene sweet and endearing. 

“How was your experience, Itachi-san?” Shikamaru asks gently, after both brothers settled down. 

“Relieving. Incredibly so. Overwhelming, as well,” he silently describes. “Thank you, Nara-san.” 

“You are more than welcome, Itachi,” Shikamaru. “I only wish I could provide this for you sooner.” 

…

They’ve been looking for hours. 

They, as expected, did not find anything. Shikamaru, despite the current sociopolitical climate, asked his Nara Elders about Rinnegan and Nara Forrest. As expected, he was told not to dwell on old fairy tales. He was also told off for alliance with Uchiha, and again told off for supporting the political system Naruto and him fought for. 

Shikamaru yelled at them to go fuck themselves with this kind of attitude, fighting over petty nothing, when there was war upon them - the worst war than there has ever been, against an enemy there is no way of defeating. He was told, by the stupid fucking Elders, that every enemy is defeatable , when there is solid strategy. 

Shikamaru fled the Elder’s Residence, angry, desperate, emitting small hysterical laughters as well as more swears, and stopped only when Sasuke, whom Shikamaru did not see in the shadows, offered him a cig, and a silent company. After ten minutes of smoking, slowly walking around the riverside, and silence, Shikamaru finally settled. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, watching the river. 

“It’s what I’m here for,” Sasuke assured him, sitting into the grass. 

Itachi sat next to him, and Shikamaru almost screamed - he had no idea the older Uchiha was among them, probably the entire time. He tried to conceive his shock, and both brothers let him. 

… 

Naruto joined them in a few minutes. He took his own cigarette out, and sat next to Shikamaru. “Anything?” 

“If you have a fitting strategy,” Shikamaru breathed out a thin stripe of smoke, “you will defeat everyone.” 

Naruto chuckles. “I found shit, as well.” 

“There’s nothing at all, and what’s worse, the oldest generation believes rinnegan is a myth, or a fairy tale,” Shikamaru grumbles. “And Pein was what, imaginary?” 

“Nagato died last night.” 

“Fuck,” Shikamaru puts off his gig. “I’m sorry, Naru.” 

“I’m glad,” Naruto shakes his head. “He was… there was no way of helping, and Tsunade said he was… only suffering.” 

“Was it…?” 

“I… he just… closed his eyes, and breathed out, and then he was gone.” 

There is silence, where Sasuke and Itachi look at each other, and silently offer their condolences to their Hokage. Naruto sighs, and thanks them for it, and Sasuke wished he knew this Naruto well enough to go to him, to offer a hug, comfort, at least a small portion of sympathy. Itachi watched his brother, and hoped he could find his way to the love of his life. Sasuke, guessing his brother’s train of thoughts, looked at him and after a second of consideration, kissed his temple. Itachi swore he did not want to dwell on it, did not want to get used to it, but he was.

Especially after he’s seen the Nara Deer, a few hours ago. He’s never felt this calm, this… relaxed, probably since he was a child. 

“This waiting is killing me,” Naruto mumbles. 

“You should sleep,” Shikamaru puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We all should.” 

“It might be for the last time, anyway,” Naruto chuckles and stands up. “The civilians are leaving through the rock tunnels above the village. Most Shinobi are placed strategically, as you suggested. ANBU-CONS will release protective seals on the village. I’ve done everything I could to protect us, but there are people who just won't leave the village. I’m afraid there won't be much left, after this fight. One way, or another.” 

“You will lead us,” Shikamaru stands up as well. “I have absolute faith in you, Naruto.” 

“Stay with me?” Naruto asks, hand on Shikamaru’s shoulder. 

Shikamaru looks at Sasuke who nods, without ever meeting Naruto’s eyes. Shikamaru looks between them, blue eyes, black eyes, blue eyes. He sighs - that’s it? That’s all? They won't even speak to each other - they won't say their goodbye, and ‘I forgive you’? They might ever see each other again, they might die in a few days, on the first lines, and they… after all this time, after everything Sasuke stated, after everything Naruto went thought, this is… 

They won't even fucking talk ?! 

“I’ll always stay with you,” Shikamaru frowns gently, addressing his Hokage, looking at him with all the love he felt. “Right from the start.” 

Naruto gives him a sad smile and says: “Till the very end.” 

Chapter Text

They visit Nara Forrest, Shikamaru and Itachi, to look for signs of Rinnegan. For any information. For anything that could lead to the defeat of Madara. They don't find anything of use, none of all. The only thing they understand is, that Madara stole rinnegan from here, from the Nara Forrest. They find a cave, an old language, and an empty jar. 

“Do you think this is the key?” Shikamaru asks, analysing the jar, as Itachi tries to read what's written on the board. 

“No,” Itachi sighs after a while. “It mostly speaks about warning. Rinnegan is, apparently, something like sharingan. It bears a terrible curse - like all the power of the world, even rinnegan comes with a price.” 

“Just like Sharingan?” 

Itachi allows a half-smile on his face. Shikamaru can't help it, but finds the smile vulnerable, and of course, sad. “Sharingan is power you pay for, for the rest of your life. Every memory, every loss, every stressful situation you need to use the power, is forever engraved in your memory, as if it happened yesterday. Deaths, torture, fear, classified information. You can never forget.” 

“But you can choose to remember good things as well, right?” Nara softly asks. “Like when you are alone with Sasuke. Keeping the memories of your protective brother must balance at least a little of the horrible things, right?” 

“There are… the way we are raised,” Itachi implies silently, and then shakes his head. Shikamaru is an ally. He probably knows about most of it, anyway. “I was… not allowed to have… childhood. I was - we were not raised to be anything else than soldiers, and therefore… there is not many good memories I… have.” 

Shikamaru doesn't know what to say. He cannot imagine the childhood, the life, Itachi and Sasuke suffered. They knew Uchihas were on a different level of skill, and that it was caused by them never having the time to be distracted, but Shikamaru never considered they did not have time for themselves as humans, not even as children. 

It actually explains a lot in their behaviour, then. “I’m so sorry, Itachi-san.” 

There is a second of silence, where Itachi stares at the stone board, pretending to be engrossed with it. Then he shakes his head and looks back at Shikamaru. “Mangekyou, on the other hand, makes you pay right before you achieve it. You must suffer terrible loss, indescribable loss, to achieve it, and you have to be the one responsible for it.” 

Shikamaru dares to ask: “It does not need to be a murder?” 

“No,” Itachi shakes his head sadly. “But, just like in Sasuke’s case, it brings horrifying trauma.” 

He wants to ask, because Itachi obviously knows, but Nara finds the information too intimate. “Sasuke… awoke Mangekyou, and it wasn't through a murder.” 

“Yes,” Itachi agrees. He actually didn't tell the Nara leader what happened. He figured it all out on his own. 

“He said the greatest lost he ever suffered was Naruto, and…” Shikamaru falters, when it all clicks. “Uchihas only ever love once.” 

“...Indeed.” 

…

Shikamaru actually stops, when Sasuke and him reach the Uchiha compound. “I don't want to force you to…”  

Sasuke doesn't react, and goes through the destroyed gardens. He remembers where the secret scrolls are, and Itachi told him where the rest is. “Our Hokage needs information.” 

Nara forces his face to stay neutral. He knows exactly what Sasuke feels for his Hokage. “I don't want you to live through your traumatic memories.” 

Sasuke looks around the place, the rest of the ruins of honourable houses, the street he always found when coming home when he was a child. “Better me than Itachi.” 

Without a doubt, Shikamaru agrees silently. “I still don't like to put you through…” 

Unexpectedly, Sasuke turns around, his face softened by an almost smile. “Thank you. For… I don't think many people were ever considerate to me without pity, before.” 

“There’s no pity. Sympathy, probably, and a lot of mixed feelings for what happened. Good or bad, I don't know. But I honestly believe it could have been prevented, most of it, all of it. Maybe even Madara, if Senju, if Hyuuga, if… if Nara and all other clans were… more… considerate,” Shikamaru slowly explains, glancing around the ruined compound, realizing, by the many houses here, how many must have died that day.

“Forty eight,” Sasuke answers, when he looks around. “Must have been slaughtered to deal with what Uchihas have done in the past.” 

The Nara leader doesn't know what to say to that. How much anger, jealousy, fear and power can cause so many deaths? Among family? As if understanding what is Shikamaru thinking, Sasuke smirks. 

“I need a favour, Nara-san.” 

Shikamaru looks Sasuke in the eye, understanding that this isn't a favour between two comrades, friends, perhaps, but between allies, clan leaders. He inclines his head to insinuate he’s listening, and taking Sasuke seriously. 

“Whatever happens, and how many will die, and in what state we might be. Make sure that after this war, there is no Sharingan to bear.” 

Seeing the deadly serious face of his ally, Shikamaru can only bow to him, in a silent promise. 

“Make all Sharingans burn. Destroy them all without ever being used. Do not store them, do not seal them, do not hide them. Destroy them. Rip our eyes out, and set them on fire. Swear to me, Nara-san.” 

The strategist is not surprised per se, but it is nonetheless disturbing to see someone as powerful so frighteningly desperate. 

Shikamaru straightens, puts his fist over his heart and gracefully  lowers his head, slightly leaning to the left. “I swear to you, Uchiha-san.” 

…

They spend nearly three days at the compound. Itachi joins them in a few hours, Naruto during the second day. They find nothing. Several texts mention the rinnegan, but they only mention the stolen rinnegan, that was indeed found in Nara Forrest. There is a list of supposed techniques, and of course, a story of how it was delivered. 

There is a myth about a God awakening it, and about a Son of God stealing it. There is another myth about Uchiha and Hyuuga alliance, which breeds rinnegan. And another myth about Uchiha, who left the village, but came back to the love of his life. There is one more about Senju and Uchiha, a destined couple. 

Nothing of actual help. 

“It feels like there is something,” Naruto mumbles, reading through the Uchiha who came back for the love of his life. “Like there is more than meets the eye, and we are going in circles right around it, blind to it, because we don't know what to look for. Like there is the answer right in front of us, but we simply don't know the right question.” 

Sasuke stares at the list of techniques rinnegan is supposed to have access to. He recognizes some of the techniques from what Pein was able to perform, and some he can imagine, as they are not that far from Mangekyou techniques, only usually darker, with worse outcome. 

The only person who knew at least something is right now being interrogated by ANBU-CONS. 

“Hokage-sama,” he addresses the love of his life. 

Naruto twitches, and winces, and for half a second, he looks at Sasuke, but doesn't react, otherwise. 

“May I be permitted to speak to Orochimaru one more time?”