Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Friends of Dorothy…" Glinda barely breathed as she spoke. "That is what they call them now."

"Then they are fools!" The green, spectral figure hovering before her shook her emerald head and crossed her billowing, pitch-black arms. Glinda could hear the disdain in her voice. Even more than that, though, was the envy that the disdain masked.

She acted as if she found the moniker offensive—and she did—but not just for the obvious reasons. Of course, to some degree, Elphaba was vexed by reminders of the girl who murdered her and her sister, accident or not. It also vexed Elphaba to be reminded that said girl was still remembered—even idolized—all these years later while she was reviled.

Even deeper than that, though, was the unasked question raging around her head, hidden just behind her lips. How?! Why?!

Even though Dorothy was just… some little farm brat from… Kanziz… or wherever, it was as if she really was a long-lost Ozma at last reunited with her homeland. Barely a day on Ozian soil and all who encountered Dorothy could do nothing but sing her praises, sometimes literally!

Dorothy's little road trip culminated in her effortlessly, gracefully murdering Elphaba, dethroning the Wizard, and going home all in one fell swoop. (Well, perhaps it hadn't been that short and straightforward, but that was how history typically preferred to remember the story). It was a series of victories that was godlike, both for their magnitude and short duration. She achieved in days that which Elphaba spent all her life trying to do and was remembered fondly for it, escaping before any negative consequences of her actions could catch up to her. Lucky her!

Friends of Dorothy… hmph! It doesn't even SOUND witty or clever. I bet that awful scarecrow came up with it! He never had a scrap of brains! Elphaba thought bitterly. In actuality, the creator of the expression was unknown. Even the story of its first use was more myth and legend than fact. The most popular rumor said that it was born the day someone spoke ill of Dorothy's friends, calling them strange, queer.

"The queerness doesn't matter, so long as they're friends," Dorothy replied, and the rest was history. What made Dorothy so unique was her uncanny ability to get along with, and unite, everyone she came across. Especially when Oz was dealing with some of the deepest divides it had seen in a while, that made Dorothy's deeds all the more Ozma-esque.

Ozians today who called themselves her friends did so as a silent cry for her to return and bring back those cheerier days. Animal, animal, human, other, man, woman, both, neither, in between, outside, queer, or not; to some Ozians, none of these differences mattered so long as everyone was friends, and after seeing and hearing what Dorothy was capable of creating within Oz, they wanted those days back.

That was what insulted Elphaba most of all. Even though she gave up decades of her life in service to bringing equality to all of Oz, uncaring of whether she was loved or hated, Dorothy became the symbol of Ozian revolution and rebellion. Never mind that Elphaba used to be part of multiple, actual revolutionary groups! "Green with envy" didn't even begin to cover it.

Glinda only sighed sadly. She understood, and even agreed with, where Elphaba's envy came from, but she did not want the other woman to hurt any longer. It wasn't fair, so all Glinda could focus on was helping Elphaba sit with the pain without losing sight of hope.

"Do you remember our other symbol?" she whispered, and even though it was nighttime, her icy blue eyes drifted out the window. She envisioned ribbons of red, orange, yellow, emerald, blue, indigo, and violet arching across the sky, defying gravity.

Dorothy had a connection to rainbows too, but Glinda figured that her and Elphaba's version took precedence over Dorothy's because theirs had been around for so much longer… Suddenly, they were decades in the past, at Shiz University with the rest of the Charmed Circle. They were at a café, and someone dared Elphaba to sing, and for once, their contrarian classmate complied.

She sang of a world far away from their own, where they were free from all fear, pain, and harm. It was a land no evil or sadness could touch, and she wanted to go there with all of them. The ache in her voice was audible and there wasn't a dry eye in the house after. Elphaba never sang like that for any of them ever again, but Glinda never forgot.

"I know it's not the same," she told the emerald specter. She reached out as if to brush her fingers against the specter's face, but she stopped short, perhaps fearing that if she touched Elphaba, Elphaba would melt away again. "But if it means anything at all, you started the revolution in me." Glinda rested her hands over her heart instead, voice breaking as she bowed her head. Maybe the rest of Oz was able to overlook, ignore, or misattribute Elphaba's story, but not Glinda. I've had so many friends, but only one that mattered.

"I… did…?" The figure tilted its head and Glinda nodded, blue eyes tearful. The ice was cracking. "Then… That is all that matters. It is the only thing that means anything at all." Now, the tears were falling. The ice was melting.

Maybe Elphaba's dream of being loved and remembered by the world would never come true, but she was still loved and remembered by Glinda, and that felt much the same because, to Elphaba, Glinda was her world, the only friend she ever had.

If I was destined for a cursed life even before I was conceived, then at least I got to spend some of that cursed life with you.

Out of all the Charmed Circle, past obligation and all else, Glinda was the one Elphaba wanted to take somewhere over the rainbow more than anyone else. Their entire story could even be told in color, in a rainbow more radiant than any story had ever given them before. Fiyero's red vest, Boq's orange cap, Glinda's yellow hair, Elphaba's green skin, Shiz's blue uniforms, the Suicide Canal's indigo water, and Nessa's purple blanket for her legs, which she wore irrespective of weather.

Growing up, Elphaba was just green, and Glinda was just gold. After they met, a rainbow, even more high-definition and crystal-clear than either had ever seen anywhere else before. Who needed Friends of Dorothy when there were Friends of Elphaba?

ooo

Come morning, Glinda was alone with her dreams, both the ones from the night before and the life before. The misty green figure was gone. Was it a dream, hallucination, desperate desire, or forgotten incantation? It was hard to tell, especially in Oz, especially when the air crackled with so much tension, magic, and energy.
Glinda closed her eyes and imagined a tornado splitting the sky again. The world would be but a black whirlwind of chaos and sound, but once the storm was over, a rainbow would carve a path through the azure sky and, standing in the wreckage, there would be… Elphaba!

It was wishful thinking, and Glinda knew that wishing only wounded the heart, but for once, her heart would not be caged.

All the signs and symbols are there! Oh, Elphie, friends of yours are waiting! Will you come back from somewhere over the rainbow?

Graffiti littered the Emerald City and no matter the color, style, location, age, or creator, it all read the same thing: ELPHABA LIVES!

Like a phoenix from ashes, it was hard to keep something so fabulous and magical in a darkened closet forever, it just took time for a rebirth…

Chapter Text

"Zeus must be angry!" Iason was half joking and half serious as he raised an arm to shield his face from the cold, wet wind racing by. It was unusual for storms this intense and frigid so late into the year.

"Not this time!" His companion, Lydus, wore a smirk that was almost sadistic. While Iason squinted against the torrential onslaught, Lydus reveled in the thunder and lightning. What a symphony!

As a native of town, Lydus knew more about the local lore than Iason, even though they both would've said that Iason was the more bookish one. Zeus controlled the weather, but if Iason looked closer, he would notice that it was raining harder in the field they were passing than anywhere else, including the town they were returning to. That implied divine intervention, but what would Zeus want with such a small, unassuming town like theirs? This was also a phenomenon that had occurred for years, and it was unusual for Zeus to allow a calling card to go ignored, intentionally or not, for so long.

ooo

"Oh, come on, wake up, wake up!" Kataegis growled, striking the ground again and again and again. Her arm weakened with every blow. In the beginning, it looked like a lightning bolt, long and white and crackling with power. Now, some of the light was dimming into a soft yellow-gold and a humanoid arm could be see through intermittent flashes of lightning.

Thunder rolled overhead, as if to accentuate the spectral figure's frustration. She hovered over the field, her head a ball of pure, blinding, electric charge as it looked this way and that. Rain was pouring for as far as the eye could see, the occasional gust of wind blowing the droplets across and into every inch of the field. Never had it been watered so thoroughly by mortal hands.

After several minutes, the glowing white figure raised her golden arm again. The next lightning bolt she called down struck right at her feet, and in the flash, a white-and-gold outline of her arm was briefly visible. She wielded a double-bladed axe, a labrys.

"I'm the one who always oversleeps! Not you! Remember?" Kataegis continued to demand impatiently. Another rumble of thunder rolled across the sky. Kataegis' figure sparked and sparkled as she levitated through the field, supervising the icy wind as it aided the rain.

As soon as she was satisfied, Kataegis again raised her labrys. It was visible for a fraction of a second as she charged the ground with more electricity. Despite the double-bladed axe's wicked appearance, it was more tool than weapon. For Kataegis, it was used in gardening, more specifically, waking Kataegis' partner from her dirt nap. The faster Kataegis could work, and the larger the harvest that she could create, the faster her flowering companion could be reunited with her. Kataegis' partner wasn't helping matters by sleeping in so late this year.

As Kataegis said, when they were both still mortal women, she was the one to sleep in all the time while it was her overeager partner's job of dragging her out of bed every morning.

Although, she's certainly dragged me into bed just as often! Kataegis thought, and if she had a mouth, she would've smirked.

Oh, how cruel were the gods, granting them an eternity together on Earth, but only as literal elemental avatars of what they once were.

Ah well, it's not like we didn't know they were going to try SOMETHING. All divine deals were devilish bargains, no matter who they were from. Even though they hadn't known what would happen, they knew it was going to be something. And I suppose, compared to every possible outcome, this is one of the more… simplistic ways of paying back my dues…

Although, perhaps her partner sleeping in was a form of cosmic karma for how Kataegis behaved in life. Right before she could strike the ground again with her glowing, golden labrys, a small, purple bud finally poked its head up from the soil.

"One of these days, Iris, I swear that you're going to make me have to flood all of Greece just to wake you up!" The tip of Kataegis' head sparked as she shook it, but had any mortal been able to understand, they would've heard the relief and happiness in her voice.

Her glowing specter finally lowered itself to the ground and her figure again became more human, and more visible. With piercing blue eyes, she stared at her feet, at the little purple flower bud.

"Well?" she demanded. Several seconds of silence later, the dirt slowly shifted as the bud continued its journey up and out, worming through the ground. A green stem snaked out of the soil, other purple buds sprouting from it.

More and more stems joined the first, and as they expanded and grew, so too did the buds blooming on them. Every color of the rainbow was present, and by far the most prominent was purple. At the heart of it all, where the purple was the densest, a human hand shot up. Kataegis rolled her piercing blue eyes, but she set her labrys down to offer a hand. Around them, the wind and rain dissipated, and the sun slowly reemerged.

"It's about time!" Kataegis sighed and shook her head as she pulled Iris up out of the ground.

"Morning, love!" Iris grinned, throwing her arms around the taller woman and kissing her cheek playfully.

"This won't get you out of anything," Kataegis deadpanned, but her arms were wrapped tight around Iris as Iris clung to her.

"As long as it involves you, I'm fine with that!" she replied, pulling away so that her purple eyes could meet Kataegis' blue ones. They both knew she was still teasing Kataegis, but this time, she was aiming for the heartstrings.

Another part of their current condition was that although they were free to enjoy a life of indefinite length on Earth together for as long as they could hold out, there were tight restrictions placed on when and where they could be. They weren't perfect at it, but every year, the couple did their best to make the most of the time given to them. Kataegis narrowed her eyes. She knew Iris was trying to get to her! But… Her arms tightened around Iris even more. It was effective, though she would never admit it.

"I just don't like when you sleep in. That also lessens the time we have together," she reminded Iris.

"True," Iris sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry. I just thought it was funny. Like you said, you were always the one to sleep in when we were still alive."

Technically, they still were alive, they just weren't fully human. Another condition of the deal was that Storm always had to be the one to wake Iris. That much never changed. What changed was how hard it was to wake Iris on any given year.

"Stubborn, petty, just the same as you ever were," Kataegis teased. Iris decided to be nice and let her have one victory, so rather than offer a sassy reply, she only chuckled and nodded, resting her head on the other woman's shoulder. As she did so, she caught sight of the bronze labrys resting against Kataegis' leg and she smiled at it in silent gratitude.

Chapter Text

A thunderous roar echoed across the forest and every creature fled the area as fast as it could, save for one. Birds bumped into Maxim's face as they flew by and he felt squirrles and mice skitter over and around his boots. Deer also sprinted past, some in his distant peripheral and some so close that he could've touched them. Instead, he stood at attention, upright with his hands behind his back as he stared unflincingly ahead.

"With all due respect, sir, I'm right here. I can hear you perfectly well, despite my meager human ears." As strange and tense as the situation was, Maxim smirked. He stared evenly into the big, black eyes of the fat grizzly bear lumbering to him. Soon, their noses were touching.

"Eew. Gross." Maxim deadpanned, voice slightly muffled by Captain's massive maw. Maxim squeezed his mouth shut tighter as he felt Captain's cold, slimy nose rubbing against his and he smelled something vaguely fishlike on the other man's—bear's—breath.

Oh, Captain. Maxim sighed internally and shook his head as Captain finally peeled his nose off of Maxim's face. This was a natural side effect of falling in love with, and marrying, a werebear, but catching said werebear-husband roaming the forests in the backyards of the residential suburbs was mildly concerning. Maxim wouldn't have come looking for his werebear-husband so urgently otherwise.

He's harmless, but, obviously, a normal person wouldn't know that. Animals still fled all around them. Captain hadn't roared to threaten, or even to scare, any of them, rather, he was simply enjoying the perks that being a bear gave him. He was already so big and loud as a human and it only became more extreme when he was in his bear body. For the most part, the transformations were smooth and controlled. Only once or twice a month did the moon force him to change regardless of what he or his partner wanted.

"Come on, Captain, let's go," Maxim sighed, finally reaching out to his fuzzy, furry husband.

"Rrrnngrrrnnr." Captain replied, ears twitching as Maxim's hands came closer.

"I don't speak Bear," Maxim deadpanned.

"Rrrrooww." Captain's giant, brown head swung slowly back and forth before he rose up on his hind paws, towering over Maxim even more than usual. He pointed his nose at the forest, even farther away from home. Everything just smelled so interesting as a bear!

It wasn't just entertainment, though. As stated before, Captain was a large man. That meant he was an even larger grizzly. Even though trasnformations never lasted longer than a couple days at time, that was still a long time to stay cooped up in a yard that suddenly seemed more like a patch of grass. It was even harder because although Captain kept his human wits and memories about him, the impulsitvity and shorter patience and attention of a bear were now also his. He could tell himself he didn't mind waiting it out, but then he'd absentminedly wander away anyway.

Keeping him chained never seemed right. Maxim thought. Even if he's prone to… going for strolls around the neighborhood, he's not vicious. Although, at least at present, he was acting rather bratty. He kept swinging his head back and forth between Maxim and forest, huffing.

"What are you, a cub?" Maxim teased and some of Captain's whines, moans, grunts, and huffs became louder. Maxim was the younger one here!

"I grew up. You only grew old," Maxim snorted. Now he would use a chain if only to use as a leash until they got back home! "And you know we're going one way or the other. I won't stop following you until you start following me, so you can either drag this out, or save us all some time, hmm?"

Maxim meant it quite literally that he would follow Captain until Captain followed him. Even if Captain could outpace him at the start, there weren't many places for a bear to hide around residental suburbs. Maxim would find him eventually, then Captain would again have to choose between following Maxim home, or risking detection if he kept moving out of the suburbs.

"Arrraaammpphhh!" Captain complained, ears swiveling on his head. Are you calling me senile?!

Maxim still never broke his gaze. Captain tried one last time to roar at him, but it was halfhearted at best. He knew Maxim wouldn't be scared, and frankly, Captain didn't want to scare him, not seriously, at least. After the final, halfhearted, sighing roar, Captain's head drooped until his nose was nearly in the grass. Maxim smirked and turned away. Captain scowled at him, but after several seconds, he started lumbering after the other man. He made sure to spend the whole walk home sighing as audibly as possible.

Overgrown manchild! Maxim thought still smirking. He was just glad that they made it—

"Rrraaoorr!" Captain suddenly gave a choking snarl-snore, the quietest roar he could muster.

"What?" Maxim turned around with a snort of his own. Captain swung his head up and down urgently, nose pointed at his and Maxim's house. Maxim turned around again, still skeptical, but a second later, his eyes shot open, and his heart stopped dead in his chest. "Iris Long?!"

She was a… coworker (Captain was affectionate enough to call her a friend), but what was she doing knocking on their porch?!

And today, of all days! Maxim thought despairingly. He looked over his shoulder pleadingly at Captain before jogging over to Iris. Meanwhile, Captain backed away and hid behind the nearest clump of trees and bushes, just barely able to fit all of his massive, furry body behind it.

"Iris! What are you doing here?" His voice was unusually tight. A normal person would be suspicious…

"Oh, hey, Maxim, have you seen Captain?" But Iris was already so used to Maxim being impossibly strict that she noticed no difference about him.

You can't be serious. "What do you need him for?"

"Silas just asked me to deliver a letter." Iris held out a small envelope while Maxim's eyes widened. It was evident from Iris' face that she didn't know what the letter was about, but like Maxim, she was desperately curious. That was even why she tried delivering the letter to Captain, in hopes that he might allow her to know what it was about.

Unfortunately, Maxim was the one she ran into, and after taking the letter from her distractedly, he bid her a good day, muttering something about Captain being away on an extra business meeting that day that none of them had known about until it happened. Iris hid her disappointment as she bade farewell to the other man and darted away. Maxim prayed she wouldn't see Captain on her way out…

At the same time, Captain had kept close eyes, ears, and nose on the conversation. As soon as he saw Iris leaving the porch, he skittered and scrambled away as fast as he could, claws scraping against asphalt as he tried to army-crawl away on his belly. He made it around the side of house with all its blinds closed and curtains drawn right as Iris walked by. She didn't notice a thing and it was all he could do not to sigh loudly.

It's funny, Maxim and I moved to this town because we knew it was one where we didn't have to be closeted about our marriage, and yet now I'm creeping around just because I still don't feel quite ready to tell them that I… He sighed, chuckled, and shook his furry head at the irony.

Once the coast was clear, he lumbered out of hiding and moved as quickly as he could back to his own backyard. Maxim met him there with a sigh.

I thought domestic, suburban life was supposed to be peaceful! Well, he's lucky I love him so much. Despite himself, he smiled tiredly and rubbed Captain's soft, fuzzy head. Captain growled appreciatively and nuzzled him, making his smile even bigger still.

Chapter Text

"It's almost time to fly!" Hiiro whispered, standing beside Aoi in the DJ booth of ALTER EGO. They embodied the dichotomy of femininity and masculinity. Hiiro wore a long, black, gothic dress with black lace and silver and white accents. By contrast, Aoi wore a white suit and dress pants with black pinstripes and accents. They were also both decorated in silver and gold paint and jewelry, adding shine to the black and white. While Aoi's hands rested on her black turntables, Hiiro's rested on her silver-white laptop. On stage in front of them were their bandmates.

Like Hiiro, Tsubaki wore a dress. Like Aoi, it was white with black accents. It was an unusual choice for Tsubaki, as she typically wore black as well, but after Aoi offhandedly mentioned liking it, especially because it matched her white suit, Tsubaki had scarcely taken the dress off since. That left Nagisa to choose a black suit and Hiiro was far more delighted than she let on.

Ohhhh! Nagisa looks so precious and handsome! I wish I had a camera! Those were Hiiro's thoughts in the dressing room, but onstage, she was RONDO's Hiiro, and that woman was the epitome of feminine grace, mystery, passion, and allure.

RONDO was a rock and DJ band, yes, but to them, fashion, visuals, and aesthetics were just as important as sound. That was why, of every DJ unit in their city, their VJ performed onstage beside the DJ. ALTER EGO's culture also helped. It was a gay nightclub known across the world for its music and flair. The current manager, both of ALTER EGO and RONDO, Masaki, was quite an eccentric and flamboyant fashionista themself! They even wore an eyepatch, and no one knew if it was real, or just part of the costume aesthetic.

"Oh… I can see why… Masaki hired us." Nagisa whispered the day she first saw the new boss, looking back and forth between Aoi and Masaki. There was something so impossibly queer about Masaki's style, even down to the fact that Nagisa didn't know what pronouns to use. As Masaki would tell them, however, they did not care. Any pronouns worked.

The reason Nagisa was focused on Aoi in particular that day was because, like Masaki, Aoi's fashion was very gender nonconforming. In fact, almost everyone who met her at first assumed she was a feminine man only to be surprised by the opposite. Then, of course, came all the questions. Was she gay? Was she butch? Was she trans? Was she androgynous? And what pronouns were people even supposed to use anyway?

In the beginning, even Aoi wasn't sure. I… was born female, and even up until high school, I was fairly feminine, but then I began experimenting with other things. Now, I guess I still feel like a woman, but… it doesn't really matter to me—that is, I don't feel STRONGLY about it—but that's always how I've felt… I feel like I feel the same, I just dress differently than I did in high school. Like, I wear binders now, and stuff, and I like it, but I'm not sure… Does that make me trans?

Was Aoi a ciswoman who enjoyed nontraditional style, or was she perhaps nonbinary or genderfluid and just hadn't realized it? These were the questions that plagued Aoi's mind from time to time. As her bandmates would tease behind her back, she was the epitome of an oblivious, useless lesbian. Despite her obvious crush on Tsubaki, the two were still running circles around one another over a year after their first encounter. Perhaps some of that carried over into Aoi's gender as well?

But of course, Aoi was so much more than just her gender. After all, at that very moment, she was DJing for ALTER EGO. She smiled as the golden outline of a person appeared in her peripheral. It was a projection from Hiiro's VJing, and she made it run around the room, the wall as its racetrack. The theme of the night's show was connection, to other people, cultures, and worlds through music, travel, and communication.

That was part of why RONDO had such a dichotomous wardrobe. It symbolized difference and sameness, and used the example of how different genders could be perceived across different fashions, styles, and colors. DJing itself felt perfect for the theme, since the nature of DJing involved mixing and matching different songs together into one seamless track.

The golden figure had silver, winged shoes. It was Mercury, Roman God of Travel, just one of many that Hiiro showed dancing and moving to the beat of her bandmates' music. He was as fast and bright as quicksilver, and the first planet from the sun. The only thing faster was Aoi, fingers a blur as they jumped between discs, knobs, switches, buttons, dials, and sliders.

Like Mercury, Aoi was a wanderer. She was never one to stick around for very long. She considered herself at the mercy of the winds of fate. Maybe it was wind created by the winged shoes. In any case, she quite literally ran into RONDO, meeting Hiiro at ALTER EGO and running into Tsubaki in a chapel before running after her to ask her to be RONDO's vocalist. They'd been together ever since, the one traveling troupe that Aoi had yet to leave. That wasn't the only connection Aoi had to Mercury, however.

His sign was sometimes used to symbolize androgyny. He was considered "between" Venus and Mars on a scale of feminine to masculine. In fact, the outdated term "Hermaphrodite" took half of its name from him. He was the masculine Hermes to the feminine Aphrodite. And just as he had two snakes wrapped around his staff, creating his iconic caduceus, masculinity and femininity intertwined inside of everyone. Sometimes, the overlap was just more complex in certain people. Aoi could see herself as one such individual.

She was Hiiro's little sister, learning makeup and embracing her feminine side with the other woman. He was Nagisa's older brother, doing stupid things with the smaller boy because neither of them ever looked before they leaped. And they were Tsubaki's partner, an equal balance in all things, a supporter and lover, melody and harmony. Aoi was a wanderer not just of worlds or music, but genders. A masculine woman, a feminine man, a masculine man, a feminine woman, Aoi had felt like all of them before.

"Hey, yo, Aoi, I got it! I just thought of what we could call you!" While Nagisa grinned excitedly, Aoi only raised an eyebrow and smirked. "A GJ! Gender Jockey!" It was a title that made Tsubaki cringe and Hiiro chuckle, but Aoi had to admit, the logic was there. Just as a DJ mixed and matched songs, a "GJ" did so with gender. Sometimes Aoi felt like a guy, sometimes a girl, sometimes both, sometimes neither. It was exactly like how Mercury would travel between worlds, blurring the barriers and boundaries wherever his winged shoes flew him.

Higher and higher still Mercury raced, notes twisting around him and his caduceus, racing him skyward. In the booth above the crowd, Aoi smiled and laughed with all the merry mischief of an ancient Roman adventurer. He was the dress of blue roses. She was the black tuxedo. They were the plaid flannel jacket that used to belong to Tsubaki. He was the thundering guitar. She was the voice ringing up to Heaven. They were the discs scratching against the turntables. With Mercury leading the way, all of ALTER EGO took flight on the wings and winds of music.

Chapter Text

Golden horn gleaming like a star in the sunrise, a pure-white unicorn tossed its silver mane and whinnied softly. Did it know it was being gawked at? Was it showing off? As if reading their thoughts, the unicorn pawed at the emerald grass with a golden hoof and again tossed its majestic mane. Its owner was no less mysterious, grinning warmly but refusing to answer whether or not the unicorn was trained.

"There a special occasion?" The old woman instead asked, glancing casually at the family of five.

"Nope!" The father, Nicholas, smiled broadly, hands resting on the shoulders of his youngest daughter. "We just noticed that you were in town and we decided that there was no time like the present!"

"We!" Darton, the other father, snorted. His hands used to rest on the shoulders of his middle daughter, but after hearing his husband's little remark, he crossed his arms. Nicholas, however, smiled innocently at him.

"It was convenient," he said, speaking both to his husband and the unicorn's owner. "I know you've traveled close to our area before, but never this close before."

"Well, you made a good call, sir!" The unicorn's owner smiled. "I know my friend can be… standoffish, at times, but that it is only because they care so much!" She turned a teasing wink on the shining stallion and received an indignant whinny in reply. She only laughed.

"That thing's not going to, uhh…" Darton pointed nervously at the unicorn.

"That thing is my partner!" The owner's smile vanished. "Neither of us will harm you if you will harm neither of us."

While Darton looked chastized by her sharp tone, Nicholas was clearly more interested in the unicorn than the owner.

"You three are lucky!" He encouraged his and Darton's daughters. "You guys get to go up close and pet the unicorn, real close and personal, like! Maybe if you ask really nicely, you'll even be allowed for a little ride!"

"Why can't you go, Papa?" the youngest daughter asked, biting her fingernails and staring up at him with wide, inquisitive eyes.

"Unicorns don't like boys," Nicholas replied, chuckling. It's ironic that they became a symbol of the gay community when they're the opposite of gay men. I LOVE guys! He thought, grinning as the unicorn's owner herded his and Darton's three daughters over to the large white beast.

Darton fidgeted and failed not looking anxious while Nicholas watched the unicorn dreamily. Right before his middle daughter went to pat its soft nose, though, it suddenly reared away from her. Its horn glistened a dangerous gold, but that was as far as it got before the owner stepped between the three children and the unicorn. While she commanded the unicorn to relax, she gestured for the three children to back away slowly and return to their fathers. At the same time, said fathers were rushing over (somewhat).

While Nicholas wasnted no time leaping into action, skidding to a half only when he saw his children running at him, his partner was slightly more hesitant. He didn't want him or his husband to acidentally trigger the unicorn into attacking. But its owner had it under control. Several minutes later, they all regrouped, the unicorn safely back inside its stable. Now, the only loose end was figuring out what the heck happened.

While everyone else was visibly shaken, the youngest daughter looked breathless with excitement. "That was wicked!" she whispered.

"I think… It was… my fault," the middle daughter whimpred at the same time. Unlike her youngest sister, she looked on the verge of tears.

"W-w-well, wh-what did you do?" Darton asked fretfully.

"Or what do you think you did?" Nichloas interrupted gently. She was the most anxious of all, and although he was not trying to shield her from the cosnequences of her actions, he genuinely could not remember anything she did to provoke the unicorn, and he'd been watching the whole time!

"B-b-because, it- it- it wasn't- wasn't… about me… being nervous…" she sniffled. "I… wasn't sure of it myself, and I… didn't plan on telling anyone so soon, but I… don't think… No. I'm not a girl. That why. Remember what Papa said earlier? They don't like boys…"

ooo

A couple years later, Princeton smiled at the unicorn, this time at a healthy and safe distance of 15 feet away.

"I said five feet would suffice!" The unicorn's owner called out.

"No thanks, ma'am, I'm all right back here!" he called back politely, smiling, hands behind his back, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"Big baby!" His youngest sister snickered, smile nasty until she turned around to face the unicorn. Unlike her brother, she was able to waltz right up to it and it immediately started nuzzling and licking her hands, a sign of familiarity. Their eldest sister said nothing, just barely concealing a smirk at the jokes of the youngest as she followed after her to pet the unicorn. She and the unicorn were both far more relaxed this time around.

Now that we know what set it off the first time… she thought, smiling grimly as she took her turn to pet the unicorn's warm, silky nose. Although, I wonder why Pop—Princeton—didn't want to tell us sooner. I feel bad that the unicorn accidentally outed him, but surely he knew that no one in the family was going to reject him just because he's trans!

Perhaps it was "big sister instinct", but on more than one occasion, she tried to gauge how Princeton felt being outed to his family by a unicorn. He seemed to think it was the funniest thing in the world and wore it as a badge of literal pride. If he was only covering up feelings of humiliation and resentment, his older sister had yet to catch him, but somehow, she didn't think that was the case. He really did find the concept of an unintentional unicorn gender detector hysterical.

Honestly, he looks more confident and happy now than he has at any other point in his life, so if he's faking, he's the world's best. Although, it really does sadden me… I'm glad he's able to be so out and free now, but was that part of why he grew up so shy? He's still shy, but not like he used to be… Princeton's oldest sister looked over her shoulder to see him smiling serenly from his safe spot 15 feet away.

Well, as long as he's happy, I guess that's all that matters! She finally decided, then she turned back to the unicorn and smiled.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

"So, what do those flowers mean?" Kara asked excitedly, pointing at the patch of white and yellow daffodils.

"Kara," Alex said patiently, "flowers aren't actually a language. When the tour guide said that, he meant that people associate certain things with certain flowers and that's how it's like a language, but it's not English or Spanish." Nor did it mean that flowers could whisper to one another when no one else was around. What a conversation that was, trying to talk the overly-excited, tragically-misguided Kara out of a fairytale belief.

"Actually," Lena interjected, "Daffodils have represented things such as hope, joy, and rebirth. Some sources say that color matters, others disagree."

Alex raised an eyebrow and Lena smiled embarrassedly, ducking her head.

"It's just… something Mom made me study when I was younger…" The Luthors may have been best known for trying to kill Superman repeatedly, but before the infamous rivalry, they were just another powerful family with as much money as they had shady dealings. That didn't mean they were better people in the past, but it did mean Lena was raised and taught in many arts and academics expected of a proper young lady.

The irony, I DID eventually develop an interest in flowers, but for scientific purposes rather than social. While a proper young lady would swoon at a luxurious bouquet of exotic and colorful flowers, Lena would marvel at the self-pollinating nature of certain plants, and the way their sex characteristics did or did not present over the course of their lives and reproductive cycles. Lena preferred taxonomy to symbolism, but she still had a rudimentary knowledge of what certain flowers were supposed to represent in culture and society.

"Well, Kara," said Alex, smirking, "is your curiosity satis—?"

"Hey, Maggie, your family is from Mexico, right?" Kara looked just as excited as ever.

"Apparently not." Alex heaved a long-suffering sigh.

"Do Spanish flowers have Spanish meanings?"

While Alex slapped her forehead, seconds away from dying from secondhand embarrassment, Maggie laughed. "Don't worry, Alex, I appreciate her enthusiasm!"

"Don't encourage her!" Alex pleaded, but it was too late. Now, Kara wanted to know about the Spanish flowers and their Spanish meanings.

"Well," Maggie began, "I don't know as much as Ms. Luth—Lena." Maggie dipped her head with an apologetic smile, but Lena shook her head and waved her hand, smiling back serenely.

Thanks to Kara, Lena, at least, was becoming a more socially accepted Luthor. Because she and Kara were dating, while Alex and Maggie were dating, that automatically connected Alex and Maggie to Lena. Of course, at first, they were guarded, and even now there was still a level of formality between the Luthor and the others—minus Kara, of course—but they were working on it.

"I don't know as much as Lena about flower symbolism, no matter what type of flower we're talking about, but I know that those guys over there—" Maggie pointed to a small patch of flowers in the next room of the greenhouse, "—are called Trillium, and in Mexico, they can mean bisexuality."

Once the quartet reached the next room, they looked down at the small box of tiny, purple and white flowers, each one with three petals.

"The reason the flowers are called bisexual is because they have both male and female sex organs," Maggie said.

"Ok, Lena," Kara teased, and Lena looked away, flustered and flattered.

"Oh, I only know that about this one flower," Maggie laughed. "So, Lena still knows more than me in that regard. It's just because that's one of the stories about why the Trillium flower came to mean bisexuality. Another one is that one petal represents same-sex attraction while another represents other-sex attraction, and the third and final petal represents both."

Maggie pulled out her phone and pulled up a photo of a flag divided into three vertical stripes. From left to right, they were pink, white, and blue. In the middle of the white stripe, there was a small purple symbol that looked like three interlocking triangles. It was the Trillium.

"So that's my flower then!" Kara looked like a kid on Christmas as she pointed at the box of Trilliums.

"Well, you're not Mexican," Alex snickered.

"Oh, true…" Kara's shoulders slumped, and her face fell. A second later, though, she a look of determination returned to her. "Then I'm going to go find me a bisexual flower that does fit me! Come on, Lena, let's go and see if we can find you a lesbian flower!"

"W-w-wait, Kara!" Lena squeaked as Kara grabbed her hand and started dragging her into the next room of the greenhouse. She went red in the face as Kara loudly, proudly, declared both of their sexualities to every other tourist in the vicinity. Lucky them, National City was a very accepting place and people were polite enough to hide their laughter as Kara and Lena barged by (bi).

"V-v-violets, and sometimes lavender, can r-r-represent—"

"Violets and lavender? Ok!" Kara cheerfully picked up her speed. "We're off to find violets and lavender then!"

"Woah!" Lena yelped as she nearly lost her footing again and, for a second time, tourists hid laughter behind hands and coughs.

Alex and Maggie were left in the dust, looking back and forth between one another and the line of amused tourists that Kara and Lena left in their wake. Alex exhaled tiredly. I'm not even embarrassed anymore. I just don't even think I have it in me to feel ANYTHING after THAT.

Maggie chuckled, knowing exactly what had Alex looking so stunned and exasperated. She kissed her girlfriend's cheek. "If it means anything to you, I think this greenhouse double date has been a lot of fun!" she promised, and at last, a smile returned to Alex's face.

"Thanks for playing along with her," she whispered. Kara didn't just embarrass Alex because of the whole "annoying little sis" thing. Sometimes, Kara's curious Kryptonian nature poked its head a little too far out and she started asking questions that could seem odd or offensive. Luckily, Maggie was a good sport, more than willing to answer. Kara was still not "out" about her Supergirl secret identity, so both Danvers sisters were grateful for Maggie's easygoingness. It was especially useful since Lena was one of the ones Kara was not out to.

Good thing Lena attributes Kara's… quirks to her natural personality! Alex thought. For a Luthor, Lena wasn't always the smartest.

"Like I said before, I like Kara's enthusiasm," Maggie said. She looked after Kara and Lena again even though they were long gone. "I hope she finds her bisexual flower…" She was sincere, but when Alex heard her, she groaned in embarrassment, certain that this was just another running joke she'd never be able to live down or outrun.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Waver's secondhand embarrassment from watching Rider coddle his magical bulls was unspeakable. In fact, it was all the young mage could do not to run away as red as his Servant's wild hair. Instead, he crossed his arms and scowled impatiently as Rider cooed at his "noble steeds".

"Aren't you just the bestest bulls in the whole wide world?" he asked, using both hands and arms to pet all four of them at once. It was a comical sight, but anything else would've felt unfair, and Rider had literal eons to perfect the art of petting four bulls at one time.

Waver scoffed under his breath, but Rider heard it. "Get over here, boy," he growled, not taking his gaze from his bulls. "Come pet them."

"What?!" At first, Waver expected to be chastized for scoffing, but somehow, Rider's true proposition was even worse. Unfortunately, Waver didn't have many other options. With a pout, he approached the bulls cautiously. "You can be more forward than that, boy," Rider's low chuckle vibrated deep within his burly chest. He took one of Waver's tiny hand in his own, his finger as large as Waver's palm, and pushed it forward.

"Hey!" Waver stumbled forward, hand suddenly pressed against one of the bull's smooth, warm flanks.

"See? Gentle as a giant!" Rider bellowed happily, sounding quite bullish himself. At the same time, Waver caught one of the bulls' big, black eyes. It gazed at him disinterestedly before looking away again and Waver almost huffed in indignation.

Well… You too! He thought lamely, scowling at the bull. Then, he glowered up at Rider. "What… purpose does this serve… exactly?"

"Things don't always have to serve a purpose, boy!" Rider laughed, finally releasing Waver's hand. A surge of embarrassment rushed through Waver when he realized how long he and Rider had been holding hands. "Sometimes, it is simply enough to enjoy life!" He threw his arms open wide before embracing his bulls again, grinning and chuckling and cooing at them.

Unbelievable… Waver's eye twitched, but Rider wasn't done.

"If, however, I had to assign a specific "meaning" to this task," he said, "I would say that it is a way to keep a man's heart soft while keeping his bonds strong." The King of Conquerers turned his beaming gaze on Waver as he continued to pat his bulls.

Unbelievable… Waver thought again, but just like the first time, Rider had more to say.

"Don't roll your eyes, boy. These bulls carry you into, and out of, battle. The least you could do is show them a little respect. After all, isn't this what the Holy Grail War means to you?" Getting the respect you deserve for your achivements rather than others' perceptions of you?

Waver was left speechless. At first, his eyes widened in horror and outrage, and he opened his mouth as if to fire back with the usual sass, snark, and shouting, but nothing came out. Rider smirked to himself, but after half a minute of silence, he turned away from Waver calmly.

"Today, you are going to help me clean and feed them," he said, gesturing to the corner of the stable farthest away from them. Tools, troughs, and other treasures awaited.

ooo

If anyone had asked Waver how long he thought it would take to feed and clean four giant, magical bulls, after snapping and saying that he hadn't the foggiest idea, he would've estimated no more than maybe an hour per bull.

Feeding can't take too long, he thought. And even cleaning shouldn't be that bad with a Servant by my side!

Oh, how wrong he was. Whether he overestimated the power of magical bulls, or if Rider was intentionally taking it slow, the simple act of feeding and cleaning took the entire day. Ordinarily, Waver would've been furious to lose an entire day doing something so trivial as playing with pets like it was a kiddie zoo, but for once, he actually enjoyed himeslf, and in that, lost track of time entirely.

This is stupid! He thought bitterly. In the beginning, it really was a hassle and a chore, lugging and dumping sacks of food around for the bulls and then filling up pail after pail after pail of water for washing, but Rider only watched him with a silent, knowing smile. His negative opinion of himself was not his fault, but for better or worse, it was his responsibility to recognize it, and where it came from.

There's not a doubt in my mind, that boy doesn't just struggle with self-image, he struggles with understanding the definition of a hero. He thinks that in order to be someone of any sort of worth, he has to be strong, tough, powerful, and manly. He feels so alone and defeated now that he overcompensates. Why else was he so quick to lash out at people, even those who genuinely meant no harm? It was a classic, textbook case of someone hiding fear, loneliness, and self-loathing behind toughness, ferocity, and extreme independence.

All good traits, of course, Rider thought. Traits befitting a warrior of Ares! But… there needs to be a balance. After all, who was Ares' other half but the Goddess of Love herself? To those not in the know, it seemed comical to imagine someone like Aphrodite standing beside someone like Ares, but to those who understood the power, depth, and rage that love could be capable of, they were a perfect couple. Waver's "Ares" side was fine. It was his "Aphrodite" side that needed work, and that was the true purpose behind the petting of the bulls that day.

I would say that it is a way to keep a man's heart soft while keeping his bonds strong.

Of course, Rider wasn't just referring to the bulls. As they were in the middle of cleaning the fourth and final one, Rider caught Waver smiling at the bull out of the corner of his eye. A large soap bubble had landed perfectly on the bulls' nose, and the sight was so comical and cute that even Waver was moved. Maybe he thought it was safe because Rider wasn't looking. If only he knew, Rider had seen it anyway.

Waver, my boy, you do not always need to hide your true feelings, be they your vulnerable feelings, or even your happy ones! A man is so much more than his toughness and his rage. A man is equally defined by what he loves, and what loves him.

As Rider had said before, a king incapable of connecting with his subjects was no king at all. Where was connection and understanding without empathy, without love? There was more than one type of love, after all. It didn't always mean kissing or weddings.

"A true king, or queen, needs no permission to feel, just as they need no permission to lead or to rule," Rider said as he and Waver finished their work for the day. "It is what they were born to do, and what they practiced for years." The Heroic Spirit gave his Master a knowing smile before gesturing to the stable doors. It was time to go home. Behind them, the bulls bellowed a soft, sleepy farewell.

For a second time, Rider caught Waver looking over his shoulder and smiling at the bulls out of the corner of his eye. Rider smiled too.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Bones poked through the dirt like flowers blooming in the spring. The eerie, unnatural white of the bones contrasted sharply with the familiar, earthy, black of the soil. A tailbone pushed its way to freedom, followed by a rib right beneath it. Sonorhc sat cross-legged before the little "grave", trying to entertain herself. She beckoned for the bones to rise higher and higher, more and more patches of white disrupting the darkened ground. Slowly, the bones coalesced into a small pile before the Necromage.

"Mood," she told the lazy, lifeless, disorganized heap. Then she raised a hand again. "All right, come on, time to get up. I don't like it either, but I'm bored and need someone to talk to."

It any of her fellow mage friends could've heard her, they would've demanded to know if she thought they were chopped liver.

She would've smirked and nodded and said, "Why do you think I'm going to the bones? I'd rather talk to them than chopped livers!"

Her lips twitched and a soft huff of laughter escaped her as she thought back to the last time she "brought back" a literal, actual chopped liver. It was commonplace for Necromages to practice resurrection utilizing similar methods. Chopped liver, in particular, could provide a challenge because of how little it resembled its old, biotic form. This, however, was not the incident Sonorhc was thinking of.

It was a fancy dinner for some of the best mages in town, but those who worked with darker arts weren't always welcomed warmly. No one said anything, Sonorhc could sense disgust, disapproval, fear, wariness, uncertainty, and much more, all of it negative and distrustful. Fed up with the passive aggression, she decided to resurrect every item on the menu and every ingredient in the kitchen.

Vegetables sprouted and grew, meat chunks tried to coalesce into something vaguely resembling what they used to be, and the seafood was some of the most interesting and amusing because it looked exactly the way it did the first time it was alive. Bones were easier to work with than meat (especially ground or cooked), hence why the Necromage had summoned a skeleton, but nothing else. As she continued to move her hands this way and that, the bones followed her gestures and slowly reassembled.

When Sonorhc was finally free to sit back and enjoy the fruit of her labor, the pile of bones had transformed into a little dog. It wagged its bony tail at her so furiously that the bones on the very end kept flicking up and down as the dog's tail swished side to side. If not for the large, round bone holding the tail onto the rest of the dog, Sonorhc was sure every tailbone would've gone flying in every direction.

"Awww, what a little cutie," Sonorhc sighed, cooing as she tilted her head. For the first time in… far too long, and longer than she could remember, she felt… touched, happy, humbled. The little bony dog trotted closer to her, already trying to sniff her and crawl in her lap. It was every bit as eager as a real dog to see her, and Sonorhc was overwhelmed with embarrassment when she suddenly realized that there were tears building up in her eyes. That sweet little dog was just so happy to see her, already adopting her as its mama.

"Wait, that's right, I still have to give you vocal cords," the Necromage mumbled, distracting herself through intellectualization. She held a hand out towards the dog's "throat", trying to envision layers of tissues, muscles, fat, and even organs slowly growing around the bones of the dog's neck. Like moss on a tree. I know the moss doesn't grow FROM the tree, but if it did, coming straight out of the bark itself…

"Arf! Arf!" Speaking of barking, Sonorhc was finished. The dog looked comical, a random patch of skin now wrapped around its neck like a brace, but as evidenced by its ability to bark, Sonorhc brought back all the vital pieces.

I mean, I guess I COULD have just sensed what the dog was conveying, but, I wanted to actually hear it bark…

Again, her friends would question why she didn't just come to them if she wanted someone to talk back to her, but as the saying went, dead men told no tales. A skeletal dog was a safer confidante than a living, breathing human being that she could not dismiss to a grave at will.

The dog was still wagging its tail, but its eye sockets gazed in Sonorhc's eyes as if waiting for her to speak.

"It's just…" she sighed. "I don't even know anymore… It is getting better? Worse? I have no idea. Sometimes, everything is perfectly fine! But others, I just…" Hate. Hate. Hate. The words, thoughts, and feelings, everything Sonorhc had associated with that concept, rattled around her skull.

That's why I can't tell them. Not even other Necromages. They'd worry too much.

One would've assumed that Necromages were better suited for topics that could drift into mortality, such as poor mental health even to the point of suicidal ideation, but that was just a stereotype. Any person found such topics difficult to face, especially if it revolved around a loved one.

The irony, I may have had a better chance of getting help if I wasn't so close to them. But relationships aside, the ability to work with the dead did not mean that one knew how to work with the dying.

But I'm not even dying! She may not have felt the most alive, or lively, but technically, there was no danger. "The only enemy… is this," she told the dog, tapping the side of her head. This stupid, stupid thing of mine. It's like a ghost. It can't actually kill me, but it sure drains the life out of a me… And yet, it's not even real! It doesn't even bother me most days! So why…?

And that led them right back to the original question. Was Sonorhc getting better or worse? It was hard to tell. The Necromage couldn't help but sigh in despair. Why couldn't the world be black and white just once? But as her very existence showed, even life and death were gray.

Wonder when it'll be my turn to join the ones on the other side, and if I'll be just as miserable there as I am on this side of the green grass.

Wonder why I can't stop thinking about it… Why can't I be more grateful for what I already have? Should I be concerned? Do I need help?

Or is this just what happens when you have to think about death all the time? Or am I making it worse for myself, indulging in these thoughts? Is that wrong? How am I supposed to change how often I think about death when I'm a freaking Necromage?!

It wasn't as easy as positive thinking, and it was hard to determine the exact cause of her most recent influx of morbid thoughts.

"Arf! Arf!" Sonorhc had unwittingly stopped petting her canine corpse companion and it was more than happy to let her know.

"Oh, right, buddy, sorry… I know I brought you out just so I could talk to you, but I guess I'm so used to not really talking to anyone that I wind up drifting off into my thoughts even when you're right in my lap!"

The dog pawed at her, as if trying to get even closer to her. She couldn't tell if the dog was forgiving her, or demanding that she make up for he neglect and give it even more headpats and belly-rubs than normal. Once again, a smile managed to reach Sonorhc's face. She was more than happy to oblige. Truly, a loving dog, fleshy or skeletal, was the best form of care for anyone.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Sonorhc's thoughts were as rhythmic and steady and the dog's bony tail thwacking against her side. By the end of it, her arm was bruised, but her heart was full. If she took a closer look, she would notice that the bruise was shaped like a semicolon.

Chapter Text

"What, man? No, man! I'm telling ya, man, I'm at least 30% right!" Hiro flapped his arms, the empty sleeves of his jacket doing likewise.

"30% ain't shit, dude!" Mondo snapped back, clenching a hand into a fist and glowering at his classmate.

Hiro gave an undignified whimper-moan-squeal and half-hid his face behind his hands, even though he was trying to act calm, cool, and collected. Of course, neither Monodo nor anyone else with them bought it for even a single second.

"Are they… always… like this?" Hajime narrowed his eyes tiredly. Even though his feelings about being around other Ultimates was… muddled, to put it mildly, it also wasn't easy for him to just pass up the chance to be close to them, no matter how mixed his feelings were. And the student that managed to put him in connection with these Ultimates was yet another Ultimate, a boy named Nagito. It occurred to Hajime that if he was an Ultimate, he and Nagito would've been classmates as Mondo and Hiro were, save that Nagito and Hajime were a year older.

"Ultimates are… the pinnacle of the expression of humanity," Nagito said, smiling dreamily at Mondo and Hiro as they continued to cuss and cower respectively. "Thus, it is to be expected that, in all that they do, they will be… more than others." His dreamy smile turned glibe. Ah yes, the chaos of boyish youth, of hotheads and hotbloods.

And as Nagito said, because they were Ultimates, the quarrels they got into were even more intense than those of their non-Ultimate counterparts. Hajime would've considered this cause for concern. Nagito saw it as a thing of beauty, a testament to the raw, overwhelming passion and power of being an Ultimate. How lucky and unworthy he was to be sitting beside such excellence!

"Was that a robophobic remark?!" Somehow, one of the quietest members of their group managed to out-shout the loudest. Kiibo was pointing an accusatory metal finger at his classmate, Kokichi. Kokichi, meanwhile, had his hands behind his head, eyes closed as he smiled.

"Whaaaat?" Kokichi asked innocently. "I'm just stating an obvious fact that everyone already knows! Robots can't have gender!"

"Yes they can!" Kiibo argued fiercely. "Even if we are not born the way humans are, we can be programmed to have sex and/or gender in any combination or amount!" Kiibo identified primarily as "male" or nonbinary (and was addressed using he/him pronouns) but he was proud to say that he could be just as "female" or "genderfluid" as any of his human classmates! They just had to tweak his settings a little.

"Waaaait, how can a robot be nonbinary if they run primarily on binary code? Kokichi asked, smirking as he brought a finger to his lips. It was as if he wanted to pretend that he was confused, but the glee at being such a tease forced a smile out of him rather than a bewildered expression.

"They are not referring to the same type of binary and you know that!" Kiibo snapped. He was still reactive, but for better or worse, he was familiar enough with Kokichi by then to catch onto at least some of his sarcasm and taunts. "Why did you invite me along with you anyway?"

"Well, because we needed a lighter, duh!" Kokichi grinned cheerfully. Some of the students looked confused while others looked almost guilty. Hiro was "affectionately" known as "Weedman" in his class and the other five with him that day were customers, whether they knew it or not.

"But our class is the only one that's supposed to know about that shit!" Mondo snarled.

"H-hey, man! Don't look at me, man!" Hiro raised his hands in front of his face, whimpering and laughing nervously. "Byakuya totally would've done something just as sleazy, but it would've been hailed as, like, corporate genius, or something! At least I gave you a free fortune-telling!"

"With a 30% chance of coming true!" Mondo's neck vein looked seconds away from bursting.

The big fortune was how likely Mondo was to get with a hot chick in the near-future. It was meant to placate Mondo for Hiro telling the other Hope's Peak classes about his "side hustle", but of course, the results only infuriated Mondo even more.

"So does that mean Mondo is 70% likely to be forever alone?!" Kokichi asked, finally perfecting the mock-innocence and confusion.

"Not necessarily. For example, the probability could mean that he has a 30% chance of "getting with" either a male, a female, or a nonbinary individual. That leaves the chance of being single at only 10%!" As noted before, although Kiibo could pick up on some of Kokichi's sarcasm, he couldn't pick up on all of it.

Hajime could only watch the quartet argue in front of him, Nagito beside him, still smiling dreamily. They hadn't even broken out the weed yet and Nagito already looked stoned and the others were acting crazy. Was this karma's way of teaching Hajime not to be so desperate to hang out and fit in with the cool kids that he stooped to levels such as this?

After all, as it was finally sinking in, they still hadn't even broken out the weed yet. Even though Hajime's primary motive for going was to be around other Ultimates, he knew there would be weed present, and he was intending on having some with the others, but that could not happen if they didn't stop acting like children fighting on the playground!

At last, though, Hiro managed to produce a handful of dented tin cans and boxes from his pants. As… unprofessional as it was, the weed was higher quality than anyone was expecting, especially from someone like him.

"Tchyou mean about that, bro?" Hiro snorted as he was the first to light up. "I used my Talent to help me divine where the best stuff was!"

"That's what you use your Talent for?!" Mondo thundered in disbelief and disdain, but a second later, "pfft." He calmed down and took a hit.

"I, for one, must commend such creativity!" Nagito replied, reclining as he hit a joint. He offered it to Hajime, and after a moment of hesitation, it occurred to Hajime that the Ultimates might finally become tolerable if he wasn't entirely sober. The only ones yet to consume any weed were the two third-years. Well, Kiibo tried, but…

"This does nothing for me." The robot sat cross-legged, and now cross-armed, as he pouted. There were various joints and vapes poking out of, or plugged into, various parts and vents of Kiibo's body, but no matter where they sent the smoke or vapor, it did nothing for him.

"Well it wasn't meant to do anything for you, silly! You're a robot! And robots can't get high!" Kokichi cackled.

"Is that a robophobic—?" Before Kiibo could finish pointing accusatorily at Kokichi, Kokichi suddenly put his mouth on a hole near the back of Kiibo's neck and inhaled as hard as he could.

"Woah, dude, that's genius! A Kiibong!" Hiro gasped in awe as Kokichi staggered away from Kiibo, giggling madly to himself. Kiibo, meanwhile, looked horrified, disgusted, and violated, but to his dismay, the others were eyeing him with interest.

Mondo still thought it was stupid as shit, but it was getting harder and harder to remember why he was mad (or that he was mad at all) after taking a massive rip from their newly-made Kiibong. Hiro would join him soon, but was still too mindblown to move yet.

Nagito didn't move either, still reclined and smiling glibly as he watched the other Ultimates share their whimpering, blushing Kiibong.

Hmm, I didn't know robots could blush. Truly, he is the Ultimate Robot to be capable of such a unique and remarkable feat! Then his mind fell down another rabbit hole. Beside him, Hajime was completely zoned out, mouth hanging open slightly. He stared dead ahead, seeing nothing, head empty. When Nagito again offered his blunt to Hajime, Hajime took it mechanically and inhaled for another draw.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text