Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Silence. It's so.. boring. The green hue of the classroom filled your mind with disgust and BOREDOM. EVERYTHING about this class was boring. You sat with a slouching posture as you stared down at your paper. A giant comically sized book sat on everyone's desks, the books so heavy you could hear the desk creaking, threatening to break under the weight. The clock's ticks loudly filled the empty space of the classroom. You stared at the clock before looking back down at your half finished paper. You had to write a paragraph for each question. You prepared yourself and sighed quietly to yourself before being interrupted suddenly.

"NO SIGHING IN THE CLASSROOM! Do that on your own time during recess when you realize the joy you get out of it is short lived."

Your teacher Ms. Bitters spat as she quickly stretched and shot herself across the classroom somehow and scolded you. You sat there with wide eyes as you gripped your pencil for safety. (As if that would help you). She slowly slinked back to her desk eerily. Ms. Bitters was creepy. You nervously looked back at your paper and prepared yourself for hell. Right when your pencil hit the paper the door swung open and a strange boy stood at the center of it. 

Everyone's head turned and stared at the boy as they were surprised to see a new student. You all stared at the strange boy. He had no ears or nose, and had a hue of green as his skin. He stood proudly with his chest out, legs apart, and hands behind his back. He walked strangely as he lifted his legs high and marched in. Ms. Bitters looked more annoyed than ever before standing near the boy.

"Class, meet your new classmate who was unfortunate enough to enroll in this horrid excuse for an educational system, Zim."

Chapter Text

"Zim" stood proudly at the front of the class with his eyes closed, he looked as if he was thriving off of being the center of attention. He had a smug smile before Ms. Bitters suddenly spoke again.

"Zim, speak now if you have something to say, because after this I don't want to hear another SOUND out of you."

Zim turned his head to Ms. Bitters then back at the class before proudly announcing his convincing story.

"Hello my fellow acquaintances, I am a perfectly normal human worm baby!"

He stares among the classroom with a smug grin and continues, none of the students seem interested or even pay attention, besides you and the weirdo rich ghost chasing kid. His mouth is wide open and his eyes twitch as he trembles in disbelief, pointing at Zim. 

"My fellow humanoids, you have absolutely NO reason to be suspicious of me or my perfectly human activities. Do not speculate anything from me and we will be the most wonderful of companions."

 He idiotically stands there in silence with his eyes closed, reassured his speech was convincing. The class is silent yet again and it feels awkward hearing the A/C blow through the vents. A few sounds emit from your classmates as they write on their papers or build paper airplanes. You raise an eyebrow at his inability to realize he should have sat down by now as you think to yourself,

 "What a weirdo, he's just standing there."

 You somehow think that he's weird because he stands for an awkward amount of time, and not because he has green skin and no ears or nose. He continues to stand there until Ms. Bitters looks down at him annoyed.

"You can take your seat now Zim."

Zim marched forward towards his seat with strange posture. He plopped down in a random empty seat that was a few desks to your right. He sat proudly and turned to check around the classroom, checking to see his human worm baby "friends". You stared at him with a suspicious stare and analyzed him. What were you analyzing? His clothes of course! Not his weird skin, lizard like appearance, and strange vocabulary! The only thing suspicious about that boy is his sense of fashion. He turned and noticed you eyeballing him and he seemed to be caught off-guard. He quickly pulled a "friendly" act as he waved at you with a glint in his eyes. He seems friendly enough so you waved back and looked back at your paper. To your left, on the other hand was the not-so friendly creepy big foot lover. His big head hung out from his desk as he creepily stared at the totally innocent new kid. 

Ms. Bitters was rambling on about space or something but you already knew how the universe would end. Zim asked her a question but it wasn't that notable, only about Earth's defense systems against extraterrestrial forces, so you didn't really care. A random roach skittered across the teachers face as she repeated the words "doom" over and over and over.. 

"I'm sorry but am I the only one who sees an ALIEN sitting in this room?" 

You and the other students lifted your heads up as Dib, the paranormal kid interrupted the silence with such a random question. You all looked around the classroom in search for an alien. You looked over at Zim for a second and considered that he was talking about him due to his awful attire, but you brushed the idea off and continued to look around.

"Over there!"

No response.

"Right over there! He's right over there, come ON!"

You all turned towards Zim as he nervously bites his lip and stares back at all of you. He's sweating and his eyes dart back and forth as he struggles to keep up his act. 

"That is no kid! That's an alien! A literal ALIEN! He's one of the monsters I've been telling all of you about! He has no good intentions, he's here to take over the world!"

Zim's wide eyes dart towards the class then towards a small watch device thingy on his hand as he anxiously hovers his finger over a button. He's ready to push it until one of your classmates leans in on his chair, Zita (you think her name was), as she stares at Dib with an annoyed expression.

"Aw not this whole thing again, you always go on these crazy rants about "cryptids" over whatever you call 'em."

You sit staring back at Dib as Zita brings up a very compelling argument, until Dib bring out evidence.

"You- you're kidding.. right? What about his horrible lizard head that's GREEN?!"

Dib has his hands out gesturing to Zim. You turn you head and raise an eyebrow as you examine his head shape. Zim looks at the class uneasily as they also look at his head.

"You disrespectful fool! I simply have a rare skin condition which is so unique it has not yet been documented in this planet's databases."

Dib rolls his eyes and and continues on his insane rant.

"Okay but what about his ears? He doesn't even have ears. Doesn't that seem odd to any of you? Or lemme guess, its apart of your "skin condition" isn't it?!"

Zim sadly turned his head down in shame as he pitifully responded to Dib's accusation.

"Yes." [But imagine it with a face like "yes :(" ]

You all angrily turned to Dib had shamed Zim for something he could not control. 

"That's pretty mean Dib, what did Zim ever do to you?"

You angrily mumbled at Dib as your classmates began to join in. Another classmate spoke louder continuing off of what you said.

"Yeah Dib, you really think that just because someone looks different you can call them an alien? What's wrong with you?"

"That's kinda rude man"

"I bet he thinks oranges are better than apples"

"So is my goldfish an alien to you just cuz he has twelve fins? WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE?!"

All your classmates argued with Dib as Zim began to calm down while removing his fingers from the button on his watch. Dib face palmed aggressively as he growled in anger. 

"Okay."

He took a slight breath to calm himself down.

"Obviously you can see the differences between us,"

He pauses and gestures his hands to the class. 

"And Zim."

He gestures his hands to Zim. 

"Doesn't he seem a bit weird to any of you?"

You and all the students turned your heads back at Zim and inspected him. You began to suspect there was something.. off.. about Zim. His ugly head, plastic hair, odd clothing, leather gloves, strange backpack AND hairline?!? He's really weird, could what Dib saying about Zim be true? You looked around the classroom for approval from your peers.

"Well, he does look pretty weird.."

One student blurted out as another added in, you began to feel convinced about Dib's whole psychotic alien talk. 

"Yeah, and he is sitting.."

Your eyes widen as you realize Dib wasn't going on some crazy talk, Dib might actually be right! You're so convinced you've stopped referring to him by nicknames and started using his actual name! Dib's eyes glint with joy, looking as if tears are brimming as he mumbles in disbelief to himself.

"This is what I've been talking about! I actually have proof, I'm right! It's proof that- I can finally say I'm-"

Dib nearly cries out until Zim interrupts him in a rude mocking tone.

"That I'm crazy!"

 And just like that, years of progress, blood, stinky sweat, and pitiful tears are set back to square one. The class sighs in relief realizing what they had almost done, they'd almost done the one thing no one should EVER do, believe the crazy paranormal kid.

"Woah, we almost believed DIB, that could have been the worst mistakes of our lives!"

"Yeah! Let's all clap for Zim he saved us!"

Students quickly go to high five Zim before suddenly hearing the bell ring. Ms. Bitters immediately finishes her "doom" speech.

"All of you leave my classroom, NOW."

Immediately all the students disregard Zim and push him out of the way, making a giant swarm of children pushing through the doors to escape the wretched skool. Zim gets pushed to the ground as the students run, but he follows the crowd to keep away from Dib. Doing so, he grabs onto a random students backpack which so happened to be yours. You barely notice in the hallway and attempt to push him away. 

"What are you doing? Get off of me."

You push him and he crashes down on his back before wriggling his legs like a roach in an attempt to scramble back to his feet. He sits up and stares at you while responding to your rude gesture.

"How DARE you push ME? The Mighty ZIM! I am simply your humanly schoolfellow- I have done NOTHING to provoke you!"

You look down at him with a confused and unamused expression. His behavior is weird, thats a weird kid, he's weird, you should probably stay as far away from him as possible. There's an off feeling from him.

"You're weird."

You say as you turn away from him, you begin making your way to the exit from the school before he suddenly called out to you.

“You dare call ME weird you- you- feeble headed dirt worm!”

He screamed at you as you walked away, his finger pointing dramatically at you and he shook with anger. You walked out the exit and ignored what happened with the new kid. You kept walking until you reached the corner, which you were about to turn before hearing the ghost lover go up to the weirdo. The bigfoot lover started yelling and preaching to backpack driver with hand cuffs. You raise an eyebrow confused and watch from afar until you saw them ACTUALLY start fighting, to the point where you wonder if lives will be lost. You speedwalk away as fast as possible unsure how to process what just happened. 

"Those are some weird kids.”

Chapter Text

"Gaz, are you sure this place is the best place for us to go to, especially this late?"

"Relax Dib, we're just going to get pizza and have a nice family meal with dad, its so simple even your big headed slobbery FACE won't be able to ruin it."

"Hor hor hor hor hor"

The giant animatronic bear whispers. The two of them slowly turn around, feeling an overBEARing presence behind them. A mascot bear, the stitching coming undone with grease stains and the smell of sweat and tears.. and.. blood?

The bear began to dance, hopping left to right on his feet. Metal clanged against the floor and inside the suit. It's like they threw nuts and bolts together and hoped it worked, or that they got lazy and didn't think to secure it down for the people in the suits.

The restaurant was filthy, every table and chair were old with chipped paint. They didn't even have real paint, just the paint you get in those little containers you have to flip up with your thumb and get the stupid paint all over your hands.

At every table, there was a slobbering 6 year old, all with different combos. Crying and wanting to go home. Crying and wanting to stay. Crying and not liking the food. Crying because they want food. Drooling over everything. Their slobber puddled into a nearby drain.

"Heya kids, it's awfully late, we're gonna close soon so you two better haul on outta here!"

The bear had a high grating voice, one of an unfortunate teenage boy mid puberty. His voice crackled and scraped against their ears.

Gaz didn't like that man's tone, she spent MONTHS trying to find a reservation for this "new" and exciting pizza place. Now, she was finally insane, surrounded by glorious arcade games, pizza, and best of all, Freddy's new soon to be revealed Piggy animatronic.. just to be told to go home?

"I don't think you realize that I have a reservation. A slot at 7:30PM on July 15th"

She stayed perfectly still, like, creepily still, only moving to extend her arm out and shove the printed receipt of her order online to go inside. The bear stared with its ginormous bulging eyes until that aggravating voice started again.

"I see. Well, little girl, we close exactly at 7:31! You've got one minute to grab a slice and-"

The clock struck 7:31. People quickly rushed out the doors and shoved each other to the floor. Everyone seemed desperate to leave. Even the people who were crushed crawled out the door, only waiting for help once outside the premises. The bear suddenly began shrieking, his hands grabbing the head which was secured onto his own. His 'paws' dug into the suit's 'flesh' to reveal the material holding the head structure together. Despite the restaurant being trashy and looking like a midwest gas station bathroom, they sure did care for their robots. The man in the suit started looking frantically left and right, rushing over to the employees only room. He nearly tore the door off its hinges trying to get in, before attempting to tear the head off. The door, despite him not closing him even though it was company policy, slowly closed and obscured their view of him tearing it off his body. They saw his shadow stiffen, a bloody scream echoing from the room before becoming muffled. The second the door closed they heard what sounded like metal crushing and piercing flesh, similar to a sound file in a 'free audio!' collection. Gaz's eyes nearly bulged out of her head, while Dib's jaw went halfway down his torso.

With a loud buzzing, the lights flickered as the whole building lost power. The pizzeria which was once coated with the reflections of soda spills, grease, and shiny plastic, was now a dark endless cage. The only sense of movement was the dust particles moving past the two, and the air conditioning blowing past, sending a cool shiver down their spine. Before she could even blink, Dib excitedly threw his ginormous bag which was always, ALWAYS tucked into his ill-fitting coat. The tiles nearly broke from their glued floor prison from the weight. He eagerly began pulling out ghost hunting equipment, the devices already going off the charts. Their loud sirens let everything within the building know of their presence. A plastic light blared through the dark, a bright green glow providing a somewhat familiar path to follow. The tables were barely visible, the green glow made everything around them seem sick. You couldn’t even see the top, where the party cones has fallen, or plates with abandoned crust, once believing they were apart of something only to watch everything but themselves consumed.

“Great, why does everything that involve you have to change into a stupid paranormal adventure?”

Gaz complained, a very obvious frown on her face, even in the dark.

“Gaz, you don’t understand, this is the PERFECT opportunity! Just look at my EMF reader, it’s flashing, it’s detecting a large amount of activity!”

Dib turned to her with so much force his coat flew dramatically in the nonexistent wind, striking a pose like a Jojo fan trying to imitate the characters breaking their backs for the camera, and an overconfident ear to ear smile on his face.

“It’s like it was my DESTINY”

Gaz cringed. Not just a small to the side “ugh” cringe, a full, revolted, taken aback, and genuinely concerned cringe. If any of the ghosts were real and watching, she didn’t know him.

———

 Will Gaz and Dib ever escape the pizzeria? Is the exit real? Where is Professor Membrane even though he was mentioned in the beginning? WHY is Professor Membrane sitting in the car in a meeting despite the entire establishment leaving in fear and locking his children in the building? Why are they in Fazbear’s pizzeria? Why was I gone for so long? Why an I writing gibberish to reach a thousand word count?! Who knows!!! Tune in next time or something.