Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

People had been getting sick, not just a couple of people, a lot of people. Gerard lived on the edge of the city in a small apartment with his brother Mikey. Across the hall was another small apartment that housed his friends Ray and Frank. Mikey had known Ray and Frank for longer than Gerard. He had never been the social type, once he knew someone he could talk for hours but he had never been good at anything to do with society and people. That's why he still insisted to his brother that it was okay if he lived there rent-free, Gerard would pay for the apartment as long as Mikey stayed and helped with small chores and talking to people. Gerard took care of getting groceries which is what he planned on doing today.

It was Sunday morning which means that yesterday the grocery store got a new shipment and today the pharmacy got a new shipment and with a large number of people getting dangerously sick, Gerard had been less than calm. He tended to overthink and become overly anxious about outbreaks, always scared that everyone would have to go on lockdown and they would run out of supplies.

That is why Gerard was up making coffee at 5:30, ultimately waking Mikey up with their creaky floors. I walked slowly out of his room, rubbing his eyes as he put his glasses on and sat on their old couch. “You couldn't have been quiet before you went out?” he asked tiredly.

Gerard turned to face him, “Sorry, the coffee shop down the street is closed because they have too many workers out sick,” he looked off to the side before turning back to the counter to pour himself a coffee, opening the cabinet above him. “Do you want some?” he said as he looked over at Mikey.

Mikey nodded, “Sure, why not, it's not like I'm gonna go back to sleep anytime soon.” He watched as Gerard poured him a cup as well, handing it to him. “Did you take your meds yet?” he asked as he took a small sip of his coffee.

Gerard opened a drawer, pulling out a small orange bottle and opening it. He took one of the pills out of the bottle, putting it in his mouth before drinking some coffee to wash it down. “Yep,” he answered, grabbing his keys and finishing his coffee quickly. “I'll see you when I get back, do the dishes while I'm gone since you're up,” he said as he put his shoes and coat on before leaving and locking the door behind himself.

As Gerard walked down the stairs of his apartment to attempt to get to the door he covered his mouth with his sleeve, anxiously flicking his eyes around the halls. Once he got in his car and shut the door it felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest, though there was still a heavy feeling when he breathed. As he drove to the store on the familiar road he watched as ambulances, cops, and firefighters drove quickly down the roads of the city. By the time he had reached the pharmacy, he had counted 5 ambulances, 7 cop cars, and 3 fire trucks. Gerard put a mask on before he went into the pharmacy. Few other people wore masks, despite the high risk of getting deathly sick as Gerard put it. He thought other people were stupid not to worry about the sickness spreading around rapidly. Frank was the only one who wasn't judging him whenever he freaked out about it, at least he thought he wasn't judging him.

Before he let his thoughts spiral he pulled a paper list out of his pocket, unfolding it, and reading it. Gerard went around the pharmacy, gathering a large number of items as well as picking up any prescriptions that he or the rest of his friends nearby (Mikey, Ray, and Frank) had available. It made him feel better when he realized it was one of the few times that all of their prescriptions were refilled at the same time. When he left the pharmacy with a large amount of mostly full bags and got in his car, putting the bags in the passenger seat, he felt a bit better knowing that he had all of the things he needed. He kept his mask on as he drove to the grocery store down the road. He had done the same at the store as he did at the pharmacy, quickly gathering his items and paying for them before quickly leaving. Once in his car he took his mask off and started to head home.

~~~~~

“Jesus christ Gee,” as Frank spoke, Gerard froze, now standing in the front doorway of his apartment. He felt his chest tighten as he heard the judgy-sounding words. He was judging him, wasn't he? Gerard was sure that Frank was weirded out by him. The one person who didn't judge him was judging him. He continued walking through the door, setting all the bags down as he shut the door behind himself and looked at the ground with shame, unsure what to say.

“You carried those up all by yourself? You could have asked for help, I would've come down and grabbed some,” Frank said, walking over to Gerard and picking up over half of the bags. Frank brought the bags to the small kitchen, setting them on the table. Gerard looked up at him, feeling stupid. Frank wasn't judging him for his shopping routine, he was surprised that he had brought all of the bags up by himself.

“Oh uh, just didn't think about it I guess,” he picked up the rest of the bags, bringing them to the table where Frank had started putting things away. “What are you doing here this early? And where is Mikey?” Gerard asked as he started to help put things away.

“Oh, Mikey wanted to sleep without being woken up when you got home so I offered my bed and offered to help clean while you were gone,” he said with a smile as he put groceries away. His eyes lit up as he pulled a box out of the bag, “you got my chips!” Frank exclaimed happily, jumping slightly.

Gerard chuckled in response, nodding. “Let me organize everything and put everything into bags and then you can take them,” he said with a smile as he started to open things and move them from their boxes to ziplock bags.

Frank smiled as he helped Gerard, “why do you move all of the stuff to different packaging? It comes in bags and boxes!” he asked Gerard in a non-judgy tone.

“Because these are resealable and can fit two bags of chips in one, they sell us air and then make it so our chips go stale!” he answered while he continued to organize his stuff.

Frank shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat man, I'll eat stale chips at the same rate as ripe chips,” he said casually, unloading the rest of the bags and putting the contents on the table.

Gerard froze, looking over at Frank with a shocked and jokingly judgy look, “ripe chips? Did you just say ripe chips?”

Frank giggled, “Well yeah, what else are you supposed to call them,” he shrugged, looking over at Gerard who just stared at him for a couple of seconds before shaking his head in disbelief before turning back to the now packaged groceries.

“You are special,” Gerard said, starting to put the bags of food away in the cabinets and fridge.

~~~~~
(Wednesday)

2 days had gone by and Gerard's anxiety had not gone down, if anything it skyrocketed. Someone at his job had gotten sick and they had to shut down “temporarily” but he didn't believe that it would be temporary. Everyone else did, Mikey called him crazy and told him that he needs to up his med dosage when Gerard had been freaking out after getting the call the night before. It didn't help when that day there was the first documented death because of the sickness going around, and then another death, and another, and in total, by the end of that day, there had been 8 deaths in the nearby area. No one would let him see the worldwide news on the sickness, only the city and sometimes state news and he didn't know why. He was freaking out though.

It was movie night, except it wasn't night. It was still 11:00 am. It wasn't even afternoon and he was in Frank's room, pacing back and forth as Frank sat on the edge of the bed and watched. Frank was the only one that didn't think he was crazy. even if he didn't say it Gerard knew that Ray thought he was crazy.

“Just- the way he looks at me I know he thinks I'm crazy like Mikey does, they have to be plotting against me or something!” Gerard said in a slightly panicky voice as he bit the skin on his lips and picked at the skin on his fingers and bit his nails while he paced back and forth in Frank's small and quite crowded room.

“I'm sure that Ray doesn't think you're crazy Gee, you're just overthinking it,” Frank said back to him, watching as he had an anxiety attack of sorts. “What movie do you want to watch tonight?” he asked him.

“He does think I'm crazy…” Gerard paused in place, turning to face Frank as he kept picking and biting his skin. It tasted nice, had a nice texture, and helped him calm down and feel less suffocated. “I picked the movie last time, it's your turn,” he frowned at him.

Frank ignored his first comment and shrugged, “I've been thinking and I can't think of a movie I want to watch, Mikey chose my pick for this week when it was his turn,” he said simply, a smile lingering softly on his face. It was like he wasn't trying to smile, he was just in a good mood where the corners of his lips upturned slightly but hardly noticeable.

Gerard thought for a second before speaking up, “what about that new conjuring movie?” he asked.

“Sure, wanna go to the store and get it? I'll drive,” Frank asked, standing up and grabbing his keys. “Did you take your meds today?” he asked.

“I think I saw it at the pharmacy,” he said as he snapped his fingers lightly, “also yeah I took my meds, Mikey asks every damn morning,” he rolled his eyes as he followed Frank to the van outside.

They both got in the van, and Frank started to pull out of the parking lot. “You can stay in the car, I'll run in,” he said, glancing over at Gerard who was now bouncing his legs and biting the skin on his fingers.

Gerard nodded, looking out the window as the van went down the road. When Frank parked the van he got out and jogged into the pharmacy. He came out of the store faster than he had gone in, bag in hand as he quickly got in the van and drove off as quickly as the law would let. It panicked Gerard a bit, causing him to look around quickly. “What's happening, why are you going so fast!?” he raised his voice, panicked as he looked around quickly.

“A fight broke out, I didn't want to get hurt,” he explained simply, keeping his eyes on the road as he came up to the apartment parking lot, going up to the underground parking lot and parking in his spot.

“Why are you parking in the garage? You never park here!” Gerard panicked a bit more as he watched the garage door shut behind them.

Frank got out of the van, looking around a bit before walking over to Gerard's side of the car where Gerard could be seen frozen in his seat, unsure of what was happening. “It's alright, I just heard that it might rain pretty hard tonight and I don't want anything to happen because of winds and rocks,” Frank answered, opening the door for him. “Come on, let's get inside,” he gestured for him to get out of the van.

Gerard looked less panicked with those words but was still tense as he got out of the car and followed Frank up to Mikey and his apartment.

~~~~~

It had gotten to 10:27 pm and Frank, Mikey, and Ray had been whispering away from Gerard all day. They would come over, talk to him for a bit and ask questions like “How are you doing?” and then go back away from him and glance at him while they whispered. It didn't feel great, it made him feel like a small child whose parents are keeping secrets. They had to be shit-talking him, Frank, too? He thought he could trust him but apparently, it was stupid of him to think that. God, he was so stupid, he couldn't do anything right, couldn't make anyone happy ever. All he did was disappoint people over and over. Everyone else would be happier if he was gone, if he was dead, or better yet, never existed. Maybe if he was gone everyone would be happier, movie nights and game nights would be better without him to bring the mood down. He didn't try to bring the mood down, he just did and he didn't know how to stop. That's why he has no real friends, that's why no one loved him. Cause no one can love a fuck up like Gerard, no one. He ached to go to his room and open the window, smoke a cig or some weed, do a line or take some pills, or drink. Anything to take his mind off of what was going on around him. The world was falling apart and no one believed him. Fuck it.

Gerard got up from the couch, walking to his room. He had packed a couple bags full of emergency items and whatever else he wanted, the front pocket was a different kind of emergency. He closed his bedroom door behind him, locking it as he went straight for the bag, pulling out a small ziplock bag of white powder that he then poured a bit onto his desk, using the edge of the ziplock bag to move the powder to form 3 lines. He grabbed one of the plastic straw-looking things that come on paintbrushes, putting it between his nose and the lines. He covered the other side of his nose before doing all three lines, hardly pausing between the lines. He leaned back slightly, letting himself fall on his bed as he coughed as quietly as he could.

There was a knock on the door, Gerard couldn't care less. He didn't care till the fifth knock, finally sitting up and deciding to listen to whoever was on the other side of the door, “Gerard? This isn't funny, answer me, your door is locked,” it was Mikey, he didn't sound very happy, sounded kinda scared but Gerard didn't know why.

“Yeah, what im fine,” he groaned, setting his arm over his eyes.

He could hear Mikey sigh on the other side of the door, “we are about to watch the movie, want some popcorn?” Mikey spoke, waiting for Gerard's response.

“No uh, i'll be out in a second,” he said, grumbling quietly as he sat up, closing his eyes as he put his stuff away. He could hear Mikey walk away from the door. He waited a couple more seconds before unlocking and leaving his room. He got himself a can of pop before sitting down on the pull-out couch. They couldn't fit all of them on the couch but they could fit all of them on the pullout built into the couch. He opened his pop as he looked at everyone else.

Ray was in the kitchen with Mikey making popcorn, Frank was on the couch bed on the spot right next to him where he was staring at Gerard's face. Not his eyes but somewhere else on his face. Gerard couldn't tell where he was looking and he didn't care. He leaned back, sniffling as he closed his eyes. He relaxed into his spot, picking at the skin on his thumb on his free hand. He sniffled again and he could feel Frank's stare but he didn't question it.

He opened his eyes only when he felt the end of the bed cave in slightly from the weight of Ray and Mikey sitting down, putting a bowl of popcorn in the middle of the bed. He sipped his pop as he wiped under his nose with his sleeve. He watched from the corner of his eye as Frank looked away from him, looking at the tv.

Mikey put the DVD in the DVD player and pressed play, groaning when ads came on. “Come on, this is stupid! Why do movies have ads before them? I already paid for the movie, there shouldn't be any ads!” he complained.

“Actually, I paid for it,” Frank said in a snarky tone.

Mikey rolled his eyes, “You know what I mean asshole,” he went quiet with everyone else, the only sound in the room being from their loud air conditioning and the ad on the tv.

Ray turned his head to look at Gerard, “hey dude, what were you doing in your room?” he asked him, raising his eyebrow slightly.

“What do you mean?” Gerard played dumb.

“I don't know you kinda just got up and went to your room suddenly, and then when Mikey went to check on you and ask about popcorn you took a long ass time to respond, what's up?” Ray spoke as he grabbed a handful of popcorn.

“Got all panicky, went to listen to music,” he said as he sipped his drink, looking at the tv. “Look the ads are over, let's watch the movie,” he said with a small smile.

Everyone ignored him trying to change the subject and looked at the tv to watch the movie.

~~~~~

30 minutes into the movie Gerard started to hear gunshots, which wasn't much out of the ordinary but then he started to hear them more and more, then he heard helicopters, and that’s when he spoke up. “I can't be the only one hearing all of that..” he spoke quietly, looking at the others.

“Nope, you most definitely are not the only one,” Frank said, turning around to look out the window behind him, leaning to try and see from the pull out couch.

“I didn't want to be the first one to say something but yeah, what’s going on out there?” Ray said, getting up and going over to the window. “It looks like people are fighting?” he said in a confused voice.

“Shit..” Frank mumbled under his breath, causing Gerard to snap his head in his direction.

“What!? What's going on!?” he started to panic, looking at Frank.

The noise outside got louder, more gunshots, more helicopters, more screaming. “Uh, I don't know,” Frank said quietly.

Mikey had made his way to the window next to Ray, “shit guys..”

Now he really wanted to know what was going on out there. Suddenly the movie could no longer be heard and a red light flooded the room from the tv. The tv started to beep loudly, making Gerard jump slightly as he looked at the tv. “Outbreak, stay inside,” the tv said in a monotone voice, repeating the words over and over. “Suspected zombie outbreak, stay inside and lock your door and windows” the tv read in black text over the red screen.

They had all turned to the tv by now and they were all frozen, Gerard was the first to say something. “Frank you fucking genius you parked in the garage.” he said, getting up and off of the couch, “pack bags, pack bags, and bring anything necessary first, we can worry about wants after. I don't care how many bags, just be quick.” Gerard demanded as he started going to the closet, finding backpacks and bags and throwing them on the now empty pullout couch. his brain went into autopilot as he gave small orders.

Ray was attempting to drag Frank, listening to Gerard. “Is this real..?” Frank said as he followed Ray, stumbling along and shocked.

Ray and Frank were gone to their apartment and Mikey had gone to his room, presumably packing. Gerard had backpacks and started to stuff them with food and medicines, as many as he could fit which ended up being almost all of their food. Two backpacks from their kitchen which he set on the pull out. He could hear the upstairs neighbors moving around frantically, he could hear screaming. He grabbed his two pre-packed bags from his room, putting them on the bed as well. Mikey came out of his room with one large bag, looking at Gerard. “For once I'm happy that you are crazy,” Mikey joked, not sure what to say as he put himself on the bed.

Gerard was grabbing more bags, rolling his eyes. “Not crazy. here,” he threw an empty bag at Mikey, “Go to Frank and Ray’s and pack as much food and medicine or whatever else you want, there are a couple of bags inside of that one.” he continued rushing around the apartment, scanning the rooms for anything he missed as he heard Mikey rush out of the room.

He went through his own room again, bending down to look under his bed and grab a box out from underneath his bed and cursing under his breath. He opened the box and emptied it of its envelopes, shoving them in his inside jacket pocket. He looked under his bed again and grabbed another box, opening it and gasping.

Ray came rushing in when he heard him gasp, “What? What is it?” he asked quickly, stopping when he looked in the box, “when the fuck did you get these?” Ray asked as he stared at the box of guns, “And why?”

Gerard shrugged, taking the guns and ammo out of the box, “don’t know the answers to your questions but I do know that we now have 5 handguns,” he handed one to Ray, handing him ammo as he started to load 3 other guns, putting the 5th in his pocket, making sure the safety was on. the truth was he did know where the guns came from and he knew when he got each one but he didnt feel like explaining it.

He rushed out of the room with Ray to see Mikey standing next to the couch bed with bags on it, Frank no place in sight. “Where’s Frank?” he asked, handing Mikey a gun, he made a confused face but didn’t say anything.

Mikey shrugged, “I'm not sure, I saw him in his room a bit ago but other than that I don’t know,” he said as he examined the gun and ammo he was handed.

Gerard nodded, jogging to the apartment across the hall and looking for Frank, going to his room first. He was there, he had packed almost all of his stuff, but he was standing still. “Frank..?” Gerard said quietly as he walked slowly to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“This is real..” he said in disbelief.

Gerard frowned, walking around Frank to be in front of him, “I'm sorry Frankie, we need to go,” was all he said as he grabbed Frank's arm and brought him to the other apartment where Mikey and Ray had already grabbed most of the bags and were ready to go. Gerard handed Mikey the keys, “go bring that stuff to the van, we will be right behind you,” Gerard said, hugging him briefly. Mikey looked sad as he nodded and left with Ray, Mikey could be heard down the hall rambling quietly about them not making it out.

Gerard picked up the rest of the bags and looked at Frank, “We have to go, Frankie, we can process later,” he grabbed Frank's arm and half dragged the silent man down the stairs quietly. He listened to people freaking out in their apartments, throwing shit around and yelling, screaming, and fighting. He was sure there was at least one zombie in the building so he was being quick, trying not to frighten Frank and trying to make it so that he didn't fall as he was pulled down multiple sets of stairs with bags and a blank face.

Once they reached the garage Ray rushed over to them and grabbed the bags from Frank as he could tell he wasnt doing well. “Go get in the van bud,” he ruffled Frank's hair lightly as he went to the back of the open van, piling all of the stuff in there and helping Gerard with the many bags.

Once Gerard had dropped his bags to the floor, letting Ray pack them in the car, he went over to Frank. He dragged him the rest of the way into the second row of seats in the large van, pushing him in and shutting the door behind them, sitting next to him. Ray shut the back door and got in the passenger side, Mikey driving before he even closed the door. “Lock the doors, lock the doors,” Gerard said to the two in the front who clicked the lock button a couple of times to be sure.

They stayed quiet as they approached the closed garage door. Banging could be heard on the door, not exactly banging but lazily smacking the metal door. Mikey clicked the open button, backing up the van as the garage door opened at a painfully slow speed. They all watched as the door opened and multiple overly tired-looking people slowly wandered in, groaning like they had been asked to do their homework on a weekend. Mikey hit the gas once the door was open enough for them to fit, barreling over the groaning people and pulling quickly out of the parking lot and down the road.

Gerard looked over at Frank who looked terrified, now able to sit still. “Where are we going?” Gerard asked Mikey, looking out the front window.

Mikey stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, “I'm not sure, just.. Away” he spoke quietly as he drove.

Gerard tapped Frank on the shoulder, Frank turned his head to look at Gerard. Gerard pointed down, causing Frank to make a sour face, “Ew dude no im not giving you a blow job,” he looked at him weirdly as Gerard facepalmed.

“I'm not- I was saying to lay down idiot, i'm not thinking about blow jobs while we are trying to get out of zombie-ridden areas and definitely not from you,” he rolled his eyes, watching Ray and Mikey laugh quietly. He was glad he could lighten the mood, even if he wasn't trying to. Even Frank let out a little giggle.

Frank nodded, laying down in the seat and closing his eyes. Gerard grabbed one of the many blankets they kept in the van, placing it all the way over Frank, his legs to face. He covered his whole body which wasn't an issue to Frank. Gerard looked out the window, watching as they drove by cop cars and cops, shooting at zombies and people alike. It was hard to tell who wasn't a zombie and who was, the only thing that made it easy at that moment was that the alive people were running and screaming, and the zombies were running and eating.

Mikey went around people and through zombies, making it a sort of bumpy ride as he sped around town to find a way out with no cops. Luckily Gerard's anxiety had helped them for once. They had gotten in the van only 15 minutes or less and anyone else trying to escape was doing it poorly or was caught doing so. Mikey had found a way out, a spot that they hadn't gotten blocked off yet. He sped down the road, hoping to turn off of it before a cop sees them. a cop or two had tried shooting out their tires but failed, they were probably trying to keep everyone in the town but Mikey didn't feel like listening to that. there were quite a few cars on the road, the highway was blocked with cars. Mikey turned on roads he only knew partially, trying to go around cars. He wasn't the only one with idea but there were not enough cars for a road jam. he turned on roads, avoiding intersections and being careful about people and zombies around them. they only hit two dead ends with mostly no issues, only a couple times did a zombie or person come up to the van and try to get their attention and/or help.

~~~~~

They eventually made it to a narrow two-lane road through a forest, so far this was a terrible come down from a high for Gerard and he knew that he wouldn't be sleeping tonight either. Frank was now curled up on the rest of the bench next to Gerard, presumably sleeping by the way that his chest was rising and falling slowly, relaxed. Gerard had sat back in his seat by now, still looking out the windows into the forest. Ray had asked a couple of times in the past hour where they were going, and each time Mikey answered that he didn't know. The way he was driving wasn't random, he was taking very specific turns, obviously trying to find a certain place; but no one pushed any further on the location or name of the place. They just watched the trees go by, Ray soon fell asleep in his spot, leaving Mikey and Gerard to sit in silence while the other two let themselves take advantage of their exhaustion.

Gerard wouldn't let that happen, “Hey Mikey, where are we going?” he asked his brother, looking at him through the mirror.

He watched Mikey tense up slightly. “Ma and Pa’s old cabin, the one in Michigan, it's quite a bit up north but it is secluded, and Dad fixed it up years ago,” he spoke quietly.

Gerard sighed, “I guess that's a good idea but we don't know the area very well, and its really fucking far away,” he frowned, tapping his foot slowly and softly.

Mikey nodded, glancing at his brother through the mirror. “We can figure out the area, we just need someplace away from people..” he spoke quietly. He kept driving quietly, looking tired.

Gerard spoke up, “I can drive, just stop the car quickly, and I'll climb in the front and you can get in the back,” he leaned forward, watching as Mikey looked around the forest around them with an unsure and on edge look before he decided to slow down the car.

He glanced at Gerard, unbuckling his seatbelt as he slowed to a stop. He quickly climbed into the back, trying not to wake up the other two as he did so. As soon as Gerard saw him moving he reached to the side of the front chair and pulled back a lever, pulling back the seat so he could quickly climb to the front while Mikey climbed in the back. Once the younger of the two had moved to the back, Gerard climbed to the front. He looked around them, seeing a couple of undead wandering the forest; only one or two though, as the rest of them were presumably in the cities or towns with lots of people. He didn't speed up as quickly as his anxiety wanted him to, but only accelerated at a rate that wouldn’t wake Frank or Ray.

Mikey had climbed into the bench behind Frank, laying down to rest. Gerard looked around the car as he drove, making sure everyone rested while it was dark out. Gerard twitched as he drove, flaring his nostrils and moving his jaw strangely. He watched out the windows, driving past nearly empty roads. It was strange seeing so few cars on the road, in all of the movies people are driving as far away from the cities as they could but from where they were it seemed like they were one of the lucky few who even made it out of the city. It was a good thing that they had made it to such a dense forest road, he could hardly see the sky because of the tree tops but he could hear helicopters every so often. Gerard bit the skin on his lips, biting them raw. He hadn’t noticed anyone else awake until Ray spoke up.

“Do you think that Frank would trade spots with me? It’s cramped up here,” he asked, glancing in the back. His sudden speaking caused Gerard to jump slightly.

He shrugged slightly, mostly ignoring what he was asking. He wiped under his nose which was running, looking at the sides of the road as he drove. Ray sighed and turned around in his seat, tapping Frank until he woke up with a grumble.

“What is so important that you wake me up at this time,” Frank mumbled, sitting up and looking at Ray as he rubbed his eyes.

Ray started climbing into the back, “We are switching spots, You're smaller and it’s cramped up there,” he didn’t give him an option, forcing him to switch spots.

Frank grumbled again, climbing tiredly into the front seat with his blanket. Ray lay on the bench closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep. The smaller of the two was trying to get comfortable, failing with a sigh and deciding to sit up. He glanced over at Gerard every once and a while as they drove. They drove in silence for about 30 minutes, watching trees and animals go by, and looking down the few driveways that they passed.

Frank looked into the back seat briefly, looking over at Gerard after doing so. “Are Mikey and Ray sleeping?” Gerard asked, glancing over at him as he drove down the narrow road.

Frank nodded, keeping his eyes on Gerard. “What were you doing in your room earlier? Y’know, before the movie,” he asked, watching for any reaction from Gerard.

He wouldn’t give Frank a reaction, keeping his straight face as he spoke, “I was listening to music, I said this already,” he sighed.

Frank made a wary face, unsure about his answer. “With your door locked?” he said in an iffy tone. Gerard just nodded in response, not looking at Frank as he answered. Frank looked down at his lap, fidgeting with the hem of the blanket over his lap. “You were sniffling quite a bit,” he pointed out.

“I had a runny nose,” Gerard answered simply, acting as if it was an obvious answer.

Frank bounced his leg slightly, “You forgot to wipe your nose before you came out of your room and you aren’t tired, what's going on Gee,” he uttered almost under his breath, the sound of the car almost drowning out the sound of his voice.

Gerard could be seen visibly tensing up, “I don’t know what you’re hinting at here, you’re gonna have to say it straight up dude,” he tried to act clueless, talking in a casual voice while he hoped that Frank would just drop the topic.

He didn’t. “Don’t act dumb Gee, what was it? What did you shove up your nose that made you all relaxed, I haven't seen you that way since Mikey and I were in high school. You don't just relax like that after being in the middle of having a nervous breakdown,” he referenced a time when Gerard was at one of his lower points, not the lowest but not a great spot in his life. He shut everyone out and was putting some not-so-healthy stuff in his body. He missed those times, no one talking to him often, an almost endless state of not being sober. He missed when no one cared that he was unwell, no one paid attention. He didn't bother to talk to Mikey more than he had to, he didn't bother getting to know his brother's friend who was now sitting next to him, asking about his bad habits. Sure he talked to his brother quite a bit back then but he didn't think that he would tell Frank or that Frank would notice. Now that he thinks about it there were quite a few times when he did drink with his younger brother and his friend and he had probably said some slightly concerning things while he was drunk but he didn't think that Frank would remember it all of this time. “Gee..?” Frank said under his breath, looking over at him.

Had he been quiet for a while? He couldn’t tell. “Um,” he whispered, trying to think of something to say. He sniffled as he felt his nose starting to run a bit, strangely moving his jaw once again before speaking. “Why are you so goddamn observant..” he muttered, not answering the question but sounding a bit annoyed.

Frank sighed softly through his nose. “I've known you since high school Gerard, you may not have wanted to know me but when I had Mikey telling me about you and your bad habits , I had to get to know you behind your back, I was worried..” he spoke in a hushed tone, bouncing his leg as he played with the hem of his blanket again. “I was able to turn a blind eye when you were in college but I can't let you fall back into that pit. How long have you been using it again and how often?” he asked in a slightly stern voice, determined to get to the bottom of this.

Gerard bit the little amount of skin left on his lip as he thought. “I never stopped, just slowed down… Changed drugs a couple of times,” he spoke under his breath, refusing to look in Frank's direction as he looked over at him.

Frank looked away, frowning as he looked at his lap. “You didn't bring them with you, did you…?” he asked him, looking over at him and shifting his body to be facing Gerard.

Gerard picked at the skin on his fingers as he shook his head, “didn't have time, they were in a different box and I forgot them cause I found guns and had to go find you,” he lied, Frank must not have picked up on it though.

He nodded, looking down at his lap again, “good, that's good,” he spoke a bit louder, no longer as scared to confront him. They sat in silence for a bit, the sound of the van driving being the only noise able to be heard as they ventured further into the forest. “Where are we going?” he asked, looking back at the other two who were sleeping.

Gerard shrugged, “Old family cabin, Mikey was hoping that no one would be there so we are probably gonna clear the area when we get there. I'm worried that someone is gonna be there already or that there will be undead inside,” he spoke quietly, watching the road as he went.

Frank nodded, turning forward again and leaning against the window. “I'm scared…” he spoke in a hardly audible voice, looking out the window. “What if one of us gets hurt or attacked, what if the cops find us..” he threw out a couple of what-ifs, voice shaky. “I'm glad that you prepared though, I don't think we would have made it out if it wasn't for you.”

Gerard shrugged, “I've thought of most outcomes, this is the one situation where anxiety helps. Mikey can't call me a crazy now, I wasn’t imagining it this time..” he spoke quietly, “If one of us gets hurt we will tend to their wounds, if they get bit we can try cutting it out of them before it reaches too far. I also doubt that the cops are looking for us right now, I can hardly imagine what is going on in the cities.” he spoke strangely calmly. “We wouldn't have made it out of there if you didn't park the van in the garage,” he added.

Frank nodded, “At the pharmacy, some lady had jumped on a guy and was trying to eat his face off- well, not really trying, succeeding for the most part…” he frowned, voice breaking out of fear.

Gerard frowned, continuing to drive as he thought of what to say. “I'm scared too, I have been since the sickness started, it's been driving me crazy.” he turned on another road, one lane total, not one going both ways, just one. “It wasn't helping that you guys kept whispering and looking at me like I was crazy, or that you wouldn't let me see news from anywhere outside of this state. I'm sure with what is happening now it is probably a good thing that you guys didn't let me though, I would have panicked even further,” he looked around the narrow road.

Frank squeezed his own thigh lightly, trying to find something to help him calm down a bit, as much as he could. They both stayed quiet, Frank looking around with an on-edge look as he kept an eye out for zombies, which he could see. It was strangely quiet around them, hardly any animals or people, dead or undead. It was weird.

“What are we gonna do when our food runs out..?” Frank asked quietly, looking over at Gerard. He frowned, having more thoughts.

“As soon as we can im gonna fix up the fence around the property and we can move freely through that area and im gonna start a garden and get rabbits cause they breed fast and grow fast, there are a couple of berry-bushes up there too,” he answered, trying to calm Frank's nerves. Gerard knew that the tall fence was in shambles, it would be very hard to fix; especially without causing a herd of zombies to attack the house. Gerard just wanted to calm Frank's nerves. “Try not to worry too much about those kinds of things, I packed a lot of canned foods. Most of the things you’re worrying about, I’ve already over-thought and thought of things to do if those things do happen,” he said with a small smile.

Frank nodded and sighed quietly, looking down at his lap again. “What about water..?” he said quietly.

Gerard chuckled, “Don’t tell me we are switching places Frankie,” he joked. “Have you ever lived in a secluded place?” Gerard asked him. Frank shook his head, waiting for Gerard to make his point. “Most houses that are in low populated places have wells which we can pump if it stops working correctly, meaning we will have running water eventually, that and I think there is a shitty generator up there,” he explained with a smile.

Frank laid back in his seat, letting out a breathy quiet laugh. “Thanks for getting me out of there, I was… not sure what was happening, and without you dragging my ass out of there I think I would have frozen in place until the couple upstairs came down and ate me, they sounded zombie-ish,” he shrugged, “I don’t know if I would have moved if you weren't dragging me,” he said with a serious tone that sounded like it was tinted with sadness.

“They did sound a bit… strange?” Gerard joked, trying to raise the mood. “You don’t have to thank me either, I’ve been planning it for weeks,” he glanced over at Frank who looked exhausted. “You should try sleeping again, you look tired and it’s like 1 am or something like that,” he glanced at the clock on the radio.

Frank nodded, curling up slightly on the seat with his blanket and closing his eyes, “goodnight,” he spoke quietly as he tried to fall asleep.

“Goodnight Frankie,” Gerard said in return.

~~~~~

They had all woken up, Gerard not sleeping in the first place, and they were still driving, going past small towns and sneaking past big cities. There were only a couple instances that they had to drive over zombies and each time Gerard made Mikey and Frank close their eyes. Eventually Gerard had to get mad at himself for not refilling the van’s gas the other day like he was going to, Mikey had told him that he was being ridiculous.

“Guys we need to get gas, is there one of those old red gasoline tanks in here? We also need some other things but I probably have some to pump the gas in case the pump doesn't work,” he anxiously spoke to them, sensing the uneasiness in the van.

“When we drove up a couple summers ago I think there was a small town up here, maybe they haven't gotten zombies yet..?” Mikey was the first to speak, quiet and scared sounding.

“Let's hope that their gas station is open, they might have closed it if they heard about the infections,” Ray said, looking at Mikey.

Frank climbed into the back without warning and closed the curtains that they had on their windows, closing everyone except the ones in the front. He climbed back into the seat he had been in, sitting back down. “When we get there we should shut the one between the front and 2nd row so that they can't see in the van, they might rob us cause they wont be getting anymore shipments,” he suggested, sitting so he could see all three of the others.
“Alright, I'll keep my door open so that you guys can hear. Frank, do you also want to get into the back?” Gerard asked, glancing over at him as he drove.

Frank thought for a second before nodding.

“Why doesnt Ray drive, he looks the most intimidating. It would be stupid to rob a big guy,” Mikey brought up, earning a groan from Ray and a nod from Frank and Gerard.

“How about we pull over here and switch, it looks safe enough,” Gerard suggested, knowing the answer was yes as soon as Ray sat up, scooting close to the front. Gerard slowed to a stop in the middle of the road, switching spots with Ray quickly.

And then they went back to driving in silence, scared silence with no one confronting it until they saw a big sign, town sign. Frank climbed into the back, closing the curtain so that anyone looking in would only see the two front seats. Ray took his wallet out of his pocket and his gun from the floor of the back seat, preparing himself for turning into the town that they were coming up on. “Here we go,” Ray sighed as he turned on the road into the small town.

There were people, alive people, and they were stopped by one of them, asking Ray to roll down his window to which he obliged.

“Oh hello there, what are you doing on the road? Haven't you heard of the zombies and cops?” It was a kind lady, with a gun strapped to her. A murderous looking maternal figure with a midwestern accent that could pass as Canadian.

“Oh um yeah, I'm on my way to my mother's house and I'm low on gas, I was really hoping you would have a gas pump still working?” Ray spoke back to her, lying about his location.

“Of course dear, pull up to this gas pump over here and I'll get you all set up!” She was a kind lady, walking over to the gas pump as Ray followed close behind, parking in front of a pump and getting out of the van, keeping the door open and grabbing the two empty red gasoline cans, setting them on the driver's seat. The lady came up and opened his gas tank and put the pump in it, “so where are you coming in from and where are you headed?” she asked as she pumped his gas.

“Oh I'm coming from New Jersey and I'm on my way to the UP in Michigan, could you tell me where I am by any chance?” Ray spoke with a smile, the lady reminding him of his mother a small amount.

“Oh well you've overshot a little but if you are attempting to dodge big cities you might be in the right area. You've found yourself in Minnesota but judging from how you've driven I can tell you it will only be another 6 to 10 hours, I'll get you set up with more gas cans too, don't wantcha dying off because you don't have any gas in ya,” her accent was more noticeable at times, they definitely overshot a little.

“Oh thank you, do you also have maps?” he asked, pulling out his red gas cans and setting them on the ground, opening them.

“Yes we do, i'll get you all set up there, don't touch the pump while i'm gone,” she smiled as she left, the gas pump still in the van.

Ray leaned into the van, “guys, we are in Minnesota, she said it's a 6-10 hour drive to Michigan,” he spoke to the others through the curtain.

“What the fuck how did we get all the way here, and how did you know where we are going?” Gerard could be heard speaking.

“I used to tell Ray about the cabin all of the time, I'm not surprised he knew where we were headed,” Mikey could be heard from further back.

“See if we have anything useful we can give them, she's getting us a map and a bunch of extra gas,” Ray said, hearing stuff move around in the back as a response.

“Alright I got you the map, I wrote down which exits and roads to take and this will get you to Pellston so you can figure it out from there,” the lady came back, handing Ray a map with a smile.

“Thank you so much ma’am, is there anything I can repay you with?” Ray asked in return as he set the map on his seat.

“No need,” she spoke sweetly as she took the pump out of the car and started to fill the gas containers, also filling four more that she had brought from inside the gas station.

Ray leaned back into the van and peaked behind the curtain before reaching into the back and grabbing a bag that Gerard handed him, put together for the lady to help with the town. He took out the bag with mixed stuff like medication, some seeds, and 2 blankets, handing it to the lady who had finished filling the cans. “Here you go, as a thank you for the gas and map, you have no idea how much you have helped me,” he smiled at her.

She smiled as she took the bag, “you really didn't have to sweetheart, but thank you so much, this is gonna help a bunch,” she set the bag down next to her, “im Kathey, if you ever find yourself back here I’d be happy to house you,” her eyes squinted as she smiled, wrinkles from a life of happiness. She looked very young but one could guess that she wasn't exactly young due to her long raven hair that was highlighted and mixed with gray and silvery whites.

“Thank you ma’am, my name’s Ray, I'll be sure to look out for you,” he said with a smile as he started to move the full containers into the passenger seat.

The nice lady smiled, but from inside of the van, Gerard was biting the skin on his fingers, biting the same ones over and over. He had almost bitten them raw when Mikey swatted his hand.

“Ow! What was that for!” Gerard whispered, eyes shooting to look at Mikey in the seat behind him.

“That lady seems nice, why are you so worried?” was all that Mikey said in return. They both spoke in a lower tone, trying to be sure that no one could hear them.

“Because, something seems off,” he answered quietly, peeking out of one of the curtains.

“Usually I wouldn't agree but something does seem a bit off…” Frank was sitting crisscrossed across from Gerard.

“You guys are too anxious,” Mikey answered, leaning back in the seat.

“I've been right so far,” Gerard pointed out as he rolled his eyes. Gerard started to hear a slow hissing noise but since it was quiet, slow, and stopped from time to time, he ignored it.

Stupid idea. Once Ray had put all of the gas cans in the passenger seat, they got back on the road. Gerard had moved all of the red containers into the back seat with Mikey. Ray had stopped the car and moved to the passenger seat and Mikey moved to the front, grabbing the map and looking at it. They kept driving for 30 minutes before someone noticed something.

“Does anyone else feel like the car is tilting?” Frank had asked, looking between everyone.

Mikey nodded, hesitantly, “should I pull over and we can check it out..?” he asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

Ray nodded, “I'll cover whoever is checking it,” he looked back at the two in the back seat.

“I'll check, my dad used to have me help work on cars,” Frank spoke up. They had opened all of the curtains after they left so they could see no immediate danger as Mikey slowed down the car, slowing to a stop and unlocking the doors.

“You guys better hurry your asses up,” Gerard said as Frank and Ray got out of the car quickly, Ray holding his gun close and standing behind Frank, looking around as Frank looked at the tire.

“Shit guys do we have an extra tire,” Frank asked the others, looking up from his spot.

“If we do it's low on pressure,” Mikey could be heard speaking from inside of the van, getting out and going to the back of the van, opening the back door and looking under bags and in compartments, after a while pulling out a tire and putting it by Frank. He looked for tools, finding them near where the tire was found, handing them to Frank before closing his trunk and getting back in the driver's seat; closing the door.

“What's wrong with the tire?” Gerard asked, leaning out of the van.

“There is a screw in it, looks intentional,” Frank was speaking in an annoyed tone, starting to fix the tire, luckily having a car jack to lift it slightly.

They sat there for 3 minutes with the tire, attempting to change it before Ray started to hear something moving in the distance. It was mid day but that didn't make it easy to see in the forest. He started to hear a different noise, along with the noise of something moving he heard a quiet groaning and snarling. He raised his gun, looking in the forest line with quick movements. Suddenly Ray shot at something, missing and shooting again. The sound of something heavy hitting the forest ground could be heard along with the sound of something moving quickly. A zombie came out from the forest line, two, three in total. No one spoke while Ray shot as quickly as he could, panicking and missing quite a few shots. He hit one in the head, causing it to fall but the other two got closer and closer. Mikey could be heard yelling at Gerard inside of the van, Gerard yelling back at him like they were arguing, not a great time for sibling fighting. Frank didn't turn around to see what was happening, instead speeding up his fixing of the car.

Suddenly Mikey was outside of the car, pointing his gun at the zombies and shooting 5 times. He quickly loaded and shot, hitting them on the 3rd and 5th shots. He lowered his gun, breathing heavily. Ray looked terrified, still pointing his gun at the corpses lying on the floor. Mikey sat in the passenger seat, catching his breath. Ray leaned against the van, shaking his head.

“Couldn't have gotten my gun quicker?” Mikey was speaking to Gerard, still catching his breath.

“I'm sorry, it was buried!” Gerard said with a pit of panic in his voice, “are they both okay..?” he sounded worried.

“Yeah, yeah they are,” Mikey watched the tree line.

Frank got up, having fixed the tire, putting all of the tools and the old tire in the back of the van before getting in. Mikey moved back to the driver seat and Ray got in the passenger side. Mikey started driving again, they were all silent, no one daring to open their mouths. Only when it was dark out and no one was sleeping did Gerard speak.

“Is everyone okay..?” Gerard would ask quietly, looking at everyone. Mikey only nodded.

“Yeah, I couldn't see what was happening,” Frank had matched Gerard’s tone and volume.

“I'm sorry, I could have gotten us all killed,” Ray spoke quietly, fear laced in his voice.

“It's okay, this is new to all of us Ray, don't beat yourself up about it,” Mikey glanced over at him. “Can we switch Gee?” He looked at his brother through the mirror.

“Sure,” Gerard answered as Mikey slowed the car again and Ray climbed into the back , getting into the seat behind Frank.

Mikey stopped the car and switched places with Gerard, Gerard driving and Mikey sitting with Frank as Ray laid down in the back.

~~~~~

It was late and Gerard was driving, having seen no one on the road since the town which worried him. How many people made it out of the cities? Ray was sleeping in the back and in the seat in front of him Frank and Mikey were sleeping close together, cuddling. Mikey was facing the back of the seat, curled in slightly with his arms wrapped around Frank under his arms. Frank was facing Mikey, head close to Mikeys chest as he held around Mikey’s waist with his body curled close to Mikey, locked between his legs as they slept.

Gerard couldn't stop looking, glancing, staring through the mirror. He wasn't sure why but something back it made him upset, it had for a while now. Mikey and Frank had been doing this for a while, since they were in high school. Mikey was never one for physical contact but Frank was. A boy whose mother was never entirely there, whose father was too manly to show his son that he loved him. Frank had been in denial once his mother started pulling away and his father started leaving more, telling Mikey that they were just stressed and it would get better. Frank’s family was happy together at some point, that's why Frank didn't start getting touchy until the beginning of high school.

Gerard used to come home from college or work and find Mikey shushing him on their couch downstairs with Frank sleeping on his lap as Mikey would rub his hair or his back. Mikey would never tell Gerard what happened, ever. Gerard didn't know why Frank was so touchy with Mikey, why Mikey let him. He never understood why he would go to ask Mikey a question some nights and his bedroom window would be open with Mikey and Frank laying on the bed. Mikey was usually awake watching tv or listening to music as Frank slept on him, sometimes with tear stained cheeks, as Mikey would rub his back, play with his hair, rub his head, or caress different parts of Frank's body.

For a while Gerard thought that they were dating in high school but that image was crushed when Frank had gotten a girlfriend by the name of Jamia and suddenly she was all Frank talked about. Mikey had invited Gerard to play video games with them? Jamia was the main topic. Mikey had invited Gerard to watch a movie or show with them? Jamia would be talked about before the media played. They were all drinking together? Jamia was the topic but in a different way. When Frank and Mikey were drunk Frank would start to say slightly concerning things about Jamia, like she would ignore him for long amounts of time during the night, or she would come through Frank’s window drunk and become rude to him, or she would take a bunch of pills and scare him but yell at him for not being fast enough when Frank would run over to her house but no matter what Frank said he would defend her like she was perfect always. Jamia seemed like a nice girl when she was sober but that was not the Jamia that Gerard knew.

He used to go to college parties and there were quite a few nights when he would see Jamia, pretending to be of age to get with older guys. One time she had drunkenly come up to him and had started flirting with him but he turned her down, he didn't think she knew who he was and he was happy about that. He didn't have the heart to tell Frank about the stuff that Gerard had seen the poor boy’s girlfriend do. He had told Mikey but he didn't want to say anything to Frank, she was his everything it seemed and he couldn't take that away from him even if it was an illusion.

Frank had found out though, Gerard was there. It was at a party, Jamia had texted Frank to pick her up from a college party down the road and Frank had walked to the common party house. Gerard had seen Frank come in, raising an eyebrow and following behind him, careful not to be seen in the crowd of people. That was until Gerard had seen Jamia before Frank, she was sitting on the counter with a tall guy in front of her with his hand up her skirt as they made out. Gerard ran past people, running up to Frank and getting in front of him, thankful that he hadn't made it to the kitchen yet, only the hallway.

“Frank, what are you doing here?” Gerard had asked the younger man, blocking his view of Jamia.

“Jamia texted me and asked me to pick her up, I was looking for her.” he had answered. Gerard knew that Frank knew about the parties, he just didn't know about the other guys.

“How about you wait in the hall and I'll get her, I know where she is,” Gerard offered with a smile, hoping that Frank would take it.

He hesitantly nodded, waiting for Gerard to fetch her. Gerard ran to the kitchen, walking up to Jamia, “Jamie, your boyfriend is here to pick you up, come on,” he didn't look at her, feeling awkward. Jamie is what everyone called her at the parties and that's all she would respond to.

“Mm, no,” she spoke, obviously drunk as she was grinding on an innocent man’s hand.

Gerard then sighed and tapped the shoulder of the taller man, earning a glare from him, “excuse me sir, that lady is a minor and her boyfriend is here to pick her up,” that got his attention, causing him to let go of her and back away.

“Ew what the fuck, whore..” the man insulted before leaving to another room.

“Fuck you!” Jamia yelled, swaying side to side with her skirt and shirt still pulled up. Everyone was looking at her as she was exposed for everyone of those creeps to see.

“Come on,” Gerard had said, pulling her skirt and shirt down, covering her once exposed areas and earning a boo from all of the creeps at the party before they all filed out of the kitchen for the most part. Gerard had put his jacket around Jamia who was refusing to get up, probably unable to walk from the cocktails of pills and alcohol.

Gerard picked her up bridal style, Jamia clinging onto him as she squirmed. He turned around to bring her to where Frank was waiting, stopping in his tracks when he met eyes with Frank. He had been watching the whole time. Gerard cursed to himself as he walked to Frank, leading him out of the noisy house as he carried Jamia.

When they had made it out of the house and started walking Frank had refused to look at either of them, gluing his eyes to the ground as he led the way to Jamia’s house. When they were almost there Jamia had started to squirm and make small noises, only when they had arrived at her house and gotten to the steps did Gerard realize what she was doing. She had moved her hand between her legs and was effectively getting off in his arms, disgusting him. Gerard went into the house without Frank, having dropped her off at home before. There had been multiple times where Gerard had brought Jamia home without Frank knowing and each time the under aged girl made Gerard uncomfortable, grinding and getting off drunkenly. He brought her into her room and set her in her bed, moving her trash can next to her bed before leaving her house and walking Frank home.

Frank had been crying, holding himself as they walked and as he sniffled. Gerard had wrapped an arm around Frank as they walked, holding him close as he led them back to Gerard and Mikey’s family home and down into the basement. He had knocked on Mikey’s door and Mikey instantly had taken over, forcing Gerard back to his room and not updating him. He just knew that was the last time he heard Frank talk about Jamia.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

Gerard couldn't keep his eyes off of Frank and Mikey as they slept so comfortably intertwined with each other. Something was pulling his eyes to look at the mirror and just watch, somehow staying on the road as he did so. Eventually he had to focus on the map so he moved the mirror to be at an angle that he couldn't see Frank or Mikey, focusing on the map so that he wouldn't get lost. The thought didn't leave his mind though.

~~~~~

Once Gerard had made it to a point that he knew in the state over, he had put the map away and adjusted the mirror to see Frank and Mikey again. It was only like that for a short amount of time as Frank woke up. He sat up and yawned, stretching before he looked down at Mikey who was still sleeping. Gerard tried not to look at Frank as he heard him moving around, eventually figuring out why he was moving so much as he watched Frank crawl into the front out of the corner of his eye.

Gerard glanced over at him, “sleep well?” he asked quietly, not trying to wake anyone else.

Frank had brought a blanket with him, curling up on the seat and nodding, “as good as you can get on a van bench,” he looked up at him before leaning on the door and closing his eyes.

“How are you doing?” he looked over at Frank periodically, watching as Frank looked out the window. You could see one of the great lakes, beautiful. There were many boats on the water, some with visible people, some without people at all. There were a couple zombies crawling into the water or flailing around instead of swimming.

Frank was quiet, moving his stare to his lap before closing his eyes. “Eh, it could be better,” he chuckled, “I was hoping that I would wake up and everything would be back to normal,” he said quietly.

Gerard nodded, “that's reasonable,” he went quiet for a moment “we can make a life,” he wasn't sure what he was suggesting, just knowing that he wanted to make Frank less scared. Gerard had convinced himself that he thought about Frank like a brother. Like when he had a sinking pit of sympathy for Frank it was in the same way that he subconsciously cared for Mikey. He convinced himself that when he would pick Mikey up and throw him off of a cliff into water but wouldn't dream of doing anything close to that to Frank, it was resulting of the same “brotherly feeling” even though he would laugh when he hit Mikey when they would fight but with Frank he would never even dream of laying a hand on him.

“Mm, that sounds nice,” Frank smiled, tiredly shifting in his spot, trying to get comfortable. Gerard watched periodically, making sure Frank was okay.

One point in the drive Ray had started complaining to Mikey that it was too squished in the back with the gas cans so Mikey switched spots with him with an annoyed groan.

It seemed to Gerard that everyone was sleeping or doing a good job at faking it.

“What if we wake up and it was all just a dream..?” Frank spoke quietly, not sleeping apparently. He turned to be curled up facing Gerard, gazing at his twitching hands on the steering wheel. “What if I just fell asleep during the movie and this is all just a big nightmare,” the second time he spoke was more of a statement than a question.

“I'm sorry to break it to you Frankie but this seems pretty damn real, not fun but very real,” Gerard returned in a quiet tone.

“How do I know that though,” he trailed off, watching as Gerard picked at the thin layer of skin around his almost raw fingers, bloody and beat up from years of picking. “How do i know that i'm not gonna wake up on the couch next to you- Ray and Mikey,” he hesitated like he would have forgotten them if it wasn't for Ray turning over out of the corner of his eye.

Gerard turned his head and looked at Frank, returning his gaze to the road for only a second every once and a while. “I'm supposed to be the crazy one, don't go second guessing yourself, I can punch you if you need though,” he joked, trying to lighten up the mood. “Seriously though, I'm sorry but this is very real,” he frowned, looking over at Frank.

Frank just nodded and moved his head slightly, breaking his eyes away from Gerard’s hands, moving them to his own hands. He was tempted to talk longer, to keep telling Gerard about how badly he wants to wake up and find himself in someone's arms, he's not sure who, the fantasy is very faint. An image flashing in his mind, constantly changing to make him not able to figure out who was holding him so softly in his mind. He tried to figure out who the person holding him in his fantasies was, wanting to wake up in that person's arms as they carried him back from the couch after the movie and placed him gently in his bed. He yearned for something, someone, but he didnt know who. There was someone in his mind, image blurred and changing, it would take too much work to try and focus on who it was and Frank wasn't even sure he wanted to know.

He shifted his gaze back to Gerard, staring at his fingers as his eyes wandered up his arms and down his body, lingering at his waist for longer than he would like to admit. By this point Gerard’s attention shifted back to the road, still glancing over to check on him but not processing the boy's gaze. Frank let his eyes stop where Gerard’s hips disappeared behind the middle console, eyes slowly moving back up, going to his face.

He took in every feature on his face, he did this with everyone, wanting to remember everything to prove that he cared. Frank often stared at people to take in every feature of their faces like he would be quizzed on it. It wasn't weird that he was staring every time Gerard looked over, cutting his gaze short to look back at the road. Frank openly watched people, Gerard did not. Gerard would watch people without them knowing, from the bench across the room or the wall in the back, he was usually out of sight. No one had ever paid attention to Gerard like Frank did, even if he knew that the smaller boy treated everyone that way, long gazes and lingering touches that would leave your mouth watering if you had one to many of something.

Gerard could admit that there had been a couple times that he was drunk or high and Frank brushed a hand across his arm or thigh or grabbed at Gerard’s shoulder or arm while he was exposed to everyone for a short amount of time and it may or may not have sent him off. He would get his snack or drink, get the soft touch, and rush back to his room and lock his door. He wouldn't however, admit that when he would look down after locking his door
he could see the slight start of something in his pants which never made him happy when it was the result of his little brother's best friend.

He felt so guilty about it but wanted to blame it on being touch starved and under the influence, so that's what he did. Each time it happened he would just get more saturated in the substance, pushing it to the back of his mind. But it still crept up on him at times

Frank looked back down at his own lap, “you're right, thanks..” he whispered, cuddling back up with his blanket. He fell asleep looking at Gerard, looking content finally.

~~~~~

“Wake up, we are almost there!” Gerard shouted to them, earning groans and grumbles in return as the three others woke up. They were going up a dirt road, covered in leaves and sticks, while they were driving up to a big wooden gate that was half off of its hinges. He watched as Mikey took out his gun while he looked out the window. Ray sat up with a yawn, stretching as he also reached to take out his gun.

They passed the gate as they drove up to the house and parked a bit back. He kept the car on, scoping their surroundings to make sure that they were safe to get out of the car. “Who’s staying in the car?” he looked at the other three.

Frank raised his hand and looked back at Mikey and Ray which made both of them slowly raise their hand. Gerard sighed “Are you guys really about to send me in there alone, me?” he gave them an unsure look, knowing that he overreacted sometimes about small sounds or movements.

Ray sighed, starting to get up and out of the car. “Thank you, Ray,” Gerard spoke as he also got out of the car. “We should be quiet in there in case there is someone or something,” he added to which Ray nodded.

They held their guns close as Gerard grabbed a key-chain, which had a lot of keys on it, from under a rock before unlocking and opening the front door with it. He put the key in his pocket and slowly entered the house, Ray close behind him. Ray being bigger than them all made him have the role of being the strong and tough one, even if no one expected him to be. Gerard could hear his breath though, it was shaky and uneven; and Gerard knew that if he turned around his friend would be shaking, so he didn’t. He didn’t break his friend’s strong ego down by seeing him in a vulnerable state. It wouldn’t be fair at this point to make him feel that way.

The main floor was built of one large living room, a decent size kitchen, and a couple of rooms. There was a large pantry-like room with shelves on each wall going to the ceiling. One of the other rooms is an empty room, maybe a dining room? The last room was a bathroom with nothing more than a toilet and sink, a broken mirror hanging above it.

They split off every once and a while, checking every room on the main floor of the large cabin. Gerard wandered the main floor as he looked for Ray. his head twitched strangely as he went room from room to find him, heart rate getting higher with every empty room. “Ray..?” he whispered, holding his gun up as he went around.

“Hey dude I think this level is clear,” Ray came around the corner, gun lowered.

Gerard jumped slightly, gasping in fear before leaning on the wall next to him. He was breathing deeply, “holy shit dude you scared the fuck out of me,” he said, hand over his chest as he looked up at the tall man.

Ray laughed to himself quietly, patting Gerard on the shoulder. “My bad, did you get the rooms by the front?” he asked softly, voice deep and quiet, not wanting to make a lot of noise in the echoey room.

The shorter of the two nodded and led the way to the stairs leading to the second floor. The second floor had more rooms than the main, 3 empty rooms and 2 bathrooms. Each of the 3 empty rooms had a closet but each closet was a different size. They both started up the stairs and started checking rooms again. Ray took the left side and Gerard took the right. He was slowly walking with his gun ready, pointed at the ground. He checked room from room, not scared until the second to last room on his side. He heard something move, he knew he was far enough away that it wasn’t Ray. it was coming from the last room, a shuffling noise. It sounded like something was moving around in the empty room next door, and Gerard was not happy about this information.

He left the room he was in and readied his gun, hoping he wouldn’t have to use it. He approached the almost closed door, listening to the shuffling in the room. How did anything get in the house? It was locked and he thought that his dad had patched up all of the holes the last time he was up here. He took a deep breath before opening the door quickly and stepping inside, scanning the room anxiously as he looked for the source of the noise.
It was just a squirrel. Gerard lowered his gun as he let out a small sigh. He noticed the window which was cracked open slightly, that’s how it must have gotten in. Gerard wasn’t going to force the poor creature outside while what was happening in the world was going on. He left the room, trying to regain his composure as he went to find Ray.

“I finished my half, there was a squirrel, and I'm letting it live with us as long as it wants, it could be like a little pet,” he said with a smile as he found Ray walking down the hall, presumably also finishing his half.

Ray chuckled at Gerard’s words, “Alright, I'm not sharing my food with it though,” he joked, following Gerard as he headed down the stairs and another set of stairs to the basement.

The basement was composed of 5 rooms, one large room that had a small room in the corner that was missing its door, it was a boiler room. The other 3 rooms were 2 smallish bedrooms or storage rooms and one small bathroom. Ray went straight for the boiler room, trying to see if any of the equipment still worked. Gerard went to look in one of the empty rooms, groaning when he went into it.

“This room looks like there is water damage, I'm gonna check the other rooms but I'm gonna be upset if our basement is moldy. One more thing for us to fix,” he complained to Ray, walking over to the other empty room. “Mold on one wall I think, this is bullshit,” he complained further as he went to check the bathroom. “The carpet is fucked in the first room, salvageable in the second.” he guessed.

A groan could be heard from Ray before he went into the boiler room, looking over in Gerard’s direction. “Are you serious? That’s annoying,” he grumbled in response as he entered the room while Gerard went over to him. “Oh sweet, there are paint cans in here and some other shit,” he said as he dug around the area that he could.

“Cool, must have been left over from when my dad fixed it up. He did a shit job by looking at it but hey, at least there are no holes in our walls,” he spoke as he peeked into the room, inspecting the stuff. “Should we go back out and start bringing stuff in?” he asked, looking at Ray and backing out of the room.

“Probably, we want to get everything in before the cities calm down and zombies start trying to find others in the forest. we should have some time though, we seem to be pretty far out,” Ray suggested as he left the small room and led the way back upstairs.

As they walked Gerard spoke, “There is a small town about 10 miles away, so we have to worry about that but it’s like a 3-4 hour walk from here so i'm not sure,” he informed Ray who nodded as he led Gerard out of the house and to the car.

Ray held a thumb up to the others in the car, telling them that it was safe. Mikey climbed out of the van, Frank getting out the front. “Did you guys check the garage? We should move the van into there,” Mikey suggested as he watched his brother and friend walk out of the house.

Gerard groaned, “No we didn’t, can you help me open it and make room while Ray and Frank unpack the car?” he asked, starting to walk backward to the door next to the large garage door, both of which lead to the garage.

Mikey nodded and rolled his eyes as he followed behind Gerard. The older of the two unlocked and opened the door, walking into the poorly lit garage. They looked around, looking at the workbench and tools and other random things that made sense for their Grandpa to have. “At least we don’t have to scavenge for tools?” Mikey said as he walked over to the large metal garage door. “Give me a hand with this would you?” he asked his brother, bending down to start and open the garage.

Gerard finished moving empty or half-full boxes to the corners, making enough room for the van. He walked over to the other side of the door. “1, 2, 3,” he counted without warning. When he hit three they lifted the garage door; Mikey grabbed one of the loose planks leaning on the wall next to him and putting it between the garage and the floor, propping the door open.

Frank and Ray seemed to have gone inside. Gerard went to the van and closed all of the doors before getting in the front seat and starting to drive. He turned the van around and started to back in, using the side mirrors and Mikey to help him back in. Once successful he turned off the car and got out, watching as Mikey moved the plank and lowered the garage door as soft as he could alone. Gerard closed the side door, using the keys on the doors and locking them. Mikey opened the door that connected the garage to the house.

Gerard walked into the house with Mikey, shutting and locking the front door on the way. “Van’s in the garage,” he told the other two who were placing bags on the floor of the living room.

“Did this place come with furniture?” Frank asked, ignoring Gerard’s words.

He shrugged as Ray spoke up, “two of the rooms upstairs had some metal and wooden poles that looked like they could be put together to be bed frames or something??” he said, unsure.

“Yeah, if I remember correctly there is an attic above the garage too, I remember that I pushed Gerard off of it when we were little,” Mikey spoke with a chuckle as he remembered his childhood in the cabin.

Gerard rolled his eyes, “Yeah, you’re lucky that there was a mattress otherwise Ma would not have been happy,” he spoke as he came back into the house with a couple of bags, having gone back out to grab more.

Frank was snickering softly at the memory shared by the two brothers, Ray smiling softly.

~~~~~

It took a while but they had unpacked the van and put all of the bags in the living room and had organized the bags, mostly by Gerard’s order. When they had finished, they all sat on the couple couches in the living room. It seemed that the main floor was furnished in the kitchen and living room. Most of the house was kind of furnished, not completely empty but only having things on the walls such as paintings and artwork from when Gerard and Mikey were kids, probably their cousins and their own work. Some of the rooms had furniture that was taken apart, making it hard to figure out what the wooden and metal poles and slabs were supposed to be. When all four of them had explored the house after bringing all of the bags in, they guessed that some of them were chairs or bed frames or night stands or other household things.

On the left side of the upstairs there was a safe which they had tried opening but couldn't figure out the combination. Mikey had pointed out that the room it was in had been their grandfather's office, where he kept most of his hunting things and trophies. Frank had suggested that there were guns or ammo or knives in it, which was plausible. no matter what it was, it did not help that the safe was very hard for them to move, but they did move it to the hallway.

Either way they couldn't figure out what was in it due to the electronic number lock, as long as they didnt break the safe open they probably wouldn't get it open. The kitchen still had all of its utensils but some were rusty or moldy or cracked. The living room had 2 old plush reclining arm chairs and a longer couch, as well as decorations on the walls and a tv stand with a tv and DVD player, the tv stand had an old gaming console in it and a bunch of movies and games but those were all pretty much useless with no electricity. There was a rug in the middle of the carpeted living room, a coffee table sitting in the middle of it.

The basement was almost completely empty, the only objects being in the boiler room. The boiler room held all of the warming and cooling systems for the house and some extra rolls of carpet and buckets of differently filled paint. Most of the windows did not have blinds or curtains, able to look through the windows.

They sat in silence for a long while, taking a break for a while.

Frank was the first to break the silence, “We should probably be putting the house together, what should we do first?” he looked around at the others.

“How about we check the attic in the garage for more stuff, like curtains or furniture?” Ray had suggested.

Mikey nodded, “there were a bunch of boxes out there too,” he added.

Gerard was the first to nod and get up, waiting for the rest of them to also get up before heading to the garage with them. Frank and Mikey talked to each other quietly as they went through boxes, leaving Gerard and Ray to check the attic.

Ray had pulled the stairs down and started climbing up, Gerard following close behind. “Fuck yeah!” Gerard had said with a smile as he looked at a couple mattresses stacked in the corner, not all being the same size. “Do you think you can push these to the ladder and I can pull them down?” he asked Ray as he stepped down a couple steps on the ladder.

“Sure, why not, wanna ask the others what size they want?” he said as he walked over to the mattresses, stepping on the beams as he walked.

He nodded, looking down at Frank and Mikey between the holes of the ladder. “There are mattresses up here,” he glanced back up at the mattresses which Ray had started to examine, “there are 4 twin sized, 2 full sized, 3 queens, and one king, what size do you guys want?” he asked.

The other two looked up at him, Frank looking shocked.

“I’ll take a full sized,” Mikey had answered, looking back down and continuing to go through boxes.

“Twin, w-why do you have so many mattresses?” Frank asked with a shocked voice, looking confused.

Gerard chuckled as he looked back up at Ray who was bringing him a full size mattress. “Gerard and I have a couple of cousins, our grandparents spoiled us so we all got our own rooms, Gee used to climb into their bed cause he wouldn't sleep alone so they didnt add on till i was born. That's also why the house is so big, the downstairs used to be our playroom kinda. Both of the bedrooms downstairs used to be all a play room until Gee finally decided he could sleep alone, that's when both those rooms were turned into bedrooms and upstairs our Pa’s office was put together. That wasn't until i was like 4 thought,” Mikey told Frank who had changed his attention to him.

“Wait, Gee wouldn't sleep alone until he was 7?” Frank asked him.

Gerard was carrying a mattress down the ladder as Mikey spoke, not speaking until he finished carrying the mattress down and putting it against the wall. “You couldn't have just said that we have cousins Mikey? Had to spill secrets,” he groaned as he climbed back up the ladder, embarrassed. “Yes, I didn't like being alone until I was 7,” he rolled his eyes, rephrasing it.

“Why?” Frank asked in return, going through the boxes again.

Gerard went quiet, happy when Ray came over and handed him another mattress, now having an excuse for not speaking. Once he got to the bottom and put the mattresses against the other one, he spoke. “I don't know,” he shrugged with a sigh as he spoke. He started to climb the ladder again.

Frank looked over at Mikey with confusion, met with Mikey making a face at him that told him to drop the subject. Frank felt kind of bad now, looking down and going through boxes again as he half watched Gerard bring 2 more mattresses down before climbing all of the way back up and into the attic.

Gerard looked around the attic some more, “so many goddamn boxes”

“Good thing that you got your organizing habits from somewhere,” Ray said as he pointed at labels on the boxes, drawn in marker messily. “Looks like you spent a lot of time with your grandparents,” he joked.

Gerard laughed at his words, starting to look at the boxes. “You have good points, it doesn't look like we need anything else up here,” he shrugged.

Ray nodded, going to the ladder and going down it, waiting for Gerard before closing up the attic.

They both smiled as they looked at the younger two looking through boxes. “Find anything?” Ray spoke as he walked over to the boxes.

“That box is full of those white plastic blinds,” Frank looked up, pointing at one of the boxes that was separated from the rest. “I think there were some curtains in there too.”

“Those boxes are all blankets and pillows,” Mikey pointed at another group of boxes.

“That's good, we get to be warm,” Gerard spoke as he started to move the mattresses into the house.

Mikey and Frank stopped looking through boxes, having looked through them all, to bring the boxes they chose into the house. Everything was placed in the hallway or living room, taking up a good amount of space. They all sat in spots in the living room, spread out. Except Frank who ran up the stairs and could be heard wondering the upstairs areas.

“I call this room!” Frank could be heard shouting from upstairs.

Mikey shot up from his seat, running to the upstairs as he yelled, “what!? I didn't know we were picking yet!” he shouted up to Frank. Mikey could be heard running around upstairs with Frank.

Ray and Gerard laughed at the childish behavior of the arguing boys who were fighting over the same room. “If Frank had not called the room, Mikey wouldn't have been fighting for that one particularly,” Gerard said between laughs.

Ray nodded as his laughs calmed down, “for sure, Mikey gets spoiled too often,” he made a jab at Gerard.

“I'm a bit guilty of that, He’s my little brother, I helped raise him,” he said with a smile as he calmed down, “Also you can not tell me that you don't spoil him, we both know damn well that you do,” he rolled his eyes.

“Pfft, whatever,” Ray chuckled as he got up, “I guess we should choose our rooms then,” he shrugged as he started to walk upstairs as well.

Gerard followed him, watching Mikey and Frank argue over a room once he got upstairs. Ray went to choose his room as Gerard went to lean on the doorframe of the room where the younger two were fighting, crossing his arms and grinning as he watched the two.

Mikey turned to Gerard, “what are you looking at?” he said in a rude tone.

Gerard chuckled, “Mikey let him have the room,” he said simply, looking between the two.

“Yeah Mikey, let me have the room,” Frank crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out at him.

“That's not fair, I didn't know that we were choosing rooms and I wanted this one!” Mikey said in a higher tone of voice, frustrated.

“Why don't you guys rock paper scissors for it?” Ray could be heard saying as he walked up to the doorway, standing a bit behind Gerard.

“Thats stupid” Frank spoke

“Yes!” Mikey had said at the same time that Frank had spoken.

“Just rock paper scissors it,” Ray rolled his eyes.

Frank groaned as Mikey turned to him. They both held their hands out in a fist, raising and dropping it at the same time 4 times in a row. On the 4th time Frank had chosen scissors and Mikey had chosen paper. The second round Mikey chose paper again and Frank chose rock. The third round Mikey had chosen rock and Frank had chosen scissors.

“Yes!” Mikey cheered as he won, jumping up and down happily.

Frank made a dissatisfied noise. “Ray, I hate you,” he whined, earning a laugh from Ray.

Gerard just stood by and watched, not putting in his input but just watching with a small smile.

Frank pouted as he left the room to find another one. Mikey looked around his newly won room.

“What room do you want Gee?” Ray asked, causing Gerard to turn to him.

“I was gonna sleep on the couch until i fix up the basement rooms which i'm gonna do when im done fixing the fence and gate which won't take as long as i thought it would, maybe a day or two depending on how many zombies,” he shrugged, looking at Ray who chuckled in response.

“Okay, it's not gonna be comfy,” he said before walking away, leaving Gerard to walk away from Mikey.

Frank ran up to Gerard as he was on his way to the stairs, “can i help?” he asked with a smile.

“Hm?” he turned to face the shorter man.

“Can i help you with the fence,” he clarified in a happy tone of voice, already over the room being stolen.

Gerard thought for a moment, “I don't want you getting hurt, I was gonna take Ray or do it alone,” he answered him.

Frank furrowed his eyebrows, frustrated again, “I wont get hurt! I can build a fence,” he rolled his eyes.

Gerard chuckled as he started to go down the stairs, hearing Frank as he followed close behind him. “I'm not worried about you getting hurt by the fence, there are animals and let's not forget the zombies out there,” he walked into the garage, Frank following him around.

“Please?” Frank asked, not sure how to change his mind.

Gerard grabbed a tool box and headed back into the house, starting down the stairs to the basement. “Nope.”

Frank groaned as he followed Gerard down into one of the rooms, the one with the most water damage. “Why?”

“Because I don't want you getting hurt,” he repeated, putting the toolbox down in the middle of the room as he started examining the walls and floor. Frank stood by one of the walls, arms crossed.

“I'm not going to!”

“The answer is no, Frank,” he turned to him, speaking in a stern tone before going back to examining the room.

He pouted, going quiet for a bit as Gerard started pulling up the carpet, tearing and cutting the wet fabric. “What are you doing?” Frank asked.

“Un molding these rooms downstairs, one of them is gonna be mine so im fixing them cause my dad obviously did it wrong,” he spoke as he finished pulling up half of the carpet, “the carpet by you seems fine though, unless it's moldy as well,” Gerard looked at the framing around the windows.

Frank went quiet for a bit again, nodding. “And how are you gonna do that?” he asked.

“Well, there is some drywall under the stairs that was left over so im gonna tear these walls off, redo the insolation cause its moldy, put drywall back on the wall, and carpet and paint the room and then do kind of the same for the other room except it's not as moldy so i won't have to tear it up as much,” he explained, starting to pull the carpet up again.

Frank nodded again, thinking. “When are you gonna do the fence?” he asked.

“Uhm, tomorrow i think, it might take a day or two and then i have to fix the gate which might take another full day plus fixing the lock on it,” he watched as Frank stepped off of the carpet and onto the concrete base as Gerard pulled up the rest of the carpet in the room, turning it upside down to check the mold.

Frank hummed in an understanding tone. “Don't you think you should rest soon? You were driving all night and it's gonna start getting dark out soon, you haven't slept in days Gee,”

Gerard shrugged, “im fine, not really tired yet,” he shook his head, cutting out the non moldy part of the rug and putting it back on the floor, rolling up the moldy carpet and throwing it out into the main room of the basement.

He nodded. They were quiet, not talking. Frank just watched as Gerard worked on salvaging the carpet.

A couple minutes later Mikey yelled down the stairs, “Gerard we need the tools to put together the random furniture!”

Gerard groaned, gathering the tools, “coming!” he shouted to him. “Let's go, I'll help you put together the bed frame you want,” he started to walk, Frank following him as he went up the stairs, going all the way to the top floor.

He put the tools down in the middle of the open area before the rooms. “Did you guys figure out which wooden piles made what?” he asked, leading Frank to where the other two were.

“We think so, the ones in this room have longer poles,” Ray spoke, looking at the four piles of wood. “That one is the king and those are queen sized, i think,” he pointed to the different piles. “And the room across the hall has the twin ones and the other room has the full sized ones,” he smiled.

“Alright, I put the tools into the halls,” he told them as he left with Frank to the room with twin sized frames. “Alright, which one do you want?” he asked, looking over at him.

Frank looked between the four frames, one being a darker red wood, one being black metal, one being white metal, and the last being a dark brown wood. “That one,” Frank pointed to the brown one.

Gerard nodded, walking over to the pile of wood. “Do i have to move this to the other room?” he asked, looking over at Frank as he nodded, “sweet,” he smiled, moving the rest of the poles to the closet for the time being.

“What tools does it need?” Frank asked, looking at the bed.

“Well the screws are here so I think all we need is one of the flat head screw drivers,” he looked over at Frank who was nodding and leaving the room. He came back with two screwdrivers, sitting down next to Gerard.

They started putting the bed together, having a hard time figuring it out without instructions. It took them a while, lots of yelling and laughing and fighting. Eventually they got there. At this point Gerard was starting to drain and fast. Whatever drug he took was finally letting up and while it keeps him awake for a long time; once it wears off he crashes quickly, getting tired, drowsy, and irritable. He tiredly brought Frank’s mattress up the stairs, Frank helping as well, mostly due to the fact that he could tell that Gerard was going down quickly.

He picked up on every small groan and yawn Gerard let out. He picked up on every time that Gerard let his eyes close for a little bit too long to be considered a blink. He noticed the way that Gerards eyes went dull. He noticed that Gerard wasn't smiling or laughing as much. It didn't seem like Gerard was even in the mood to try and hide his discomfort.

The mattress was placed on the bed frame once they had moved the frame where Frank had wanted it, earning a sigh from Gerard as he fell back onto the bed, closing his eyes.

“You can stay here, I'm gonna go get the blankets and stuff,” Frank said softly before leaving the room. He came back upstairs a couple minutes later with a box of sheets, pillows, and blankets, placing the box on the floor at the end of the bed; and looking at Gerard who was laying on the bed with his eyes closed. “Gee..?” he whispered, not getting a response. Frank set a pillow next to his head and placed a blanket over him, watching as Gerard shifted in his sleep onto his side, snuggled up in the blanket. “Night Gee,” he spoke quietly as he left the room, closing the door behind himself.

~~~~~

Gerard woke up and it was dark out, he almost went back to sleep but he sat up quickly when he remembered everything and realized he was in a bed. He looked around the room and sighed when he realized it was Frank’s. He tiredly got out of the bed, shuffling his way out of the room and down the stairs slowly, wincing when they started creaking. He went into the living room and sure enough, Frank was sleeping on the couch. Gerard shook him lightly, “come on, get up..” he spoke quietly, hardly hearable.

Frank woke up with a deep breath through his nose, “hm-?” he sounded confused and tired as he rolled over and slightly opened one eye, squinting at Gerard.

“Come on, you’re sleeping in your room the rest of the night,” he put his hand on Frank’s shoulder, trying to get him to get up.

“Mmm,” Frank whined, shaking his head.

“Well either you get up and move yourself or I'm carrying you, it's your choice,” Gerard told him, rolling his eyes.

Frank probably thought that he wouldn't actually do that, he was proven wrong when his silence was ignored and Gerard started to lift him off of the couch bridal style. “Mmmm, no..” he breathed out, seeming to not be fully awake.

“Mmm yeah,” Gerard said in return as Frank accepted his fate, snuggling into him and holding onto his shirt as Gerard carried him. He carried him up the stairs and into his room, setting him down lightly on his bed, placing the pillow under his head and the blanket over him as Frank whined tiredly again.

“Goodnight Frankie,” Gerard spoke quietly, smiling as he left the room. He wandered down the stairs and layed down on the couch, tossing and turning but unable to sleep. He was exhausted but couldn't sleep, just moving and rolling over, trying desperately to fall back asleep.

After a while he sat up, staring at one of his bags next to the couch. He looked around the dark room, biting the skin on his thumb as he glanced around him anxiously. He knew he shouldn't, he shouldn't reach for the front pocket of his bag and have a great time while everyone slept. He shouldn't pull out some of the pills and crush them up on the coffee table in front of him. He shouldn't line the powder up and breathe it in, that would be irresponsible of him. But oh, how responsible he usually is.

No one would know, if he lived it out while everyone slept, no one would know. He leaned forward, tangling his hands in his hair, resting his elbows on his knees as he closed his eyes and breathed, empty and desperate as he tried to regain his composure. He put his hands on his face, dragging them down his face and past his eyes by a bit. He looked over at the bag, groaning quietly. He let his hands drop, elbows rested on his knees which were spread apart as he let his head drop and hang. He leaned back in the spot he was in, falling back into the plush fabric of the couch. It felt like sandpaper on his skin. The air felt too heavy, the silence too loud, the ringing in his ears from damage made by years of loud music and yelling overwhelming his senses until he couldn't think of anything other than that stupid bag. It was like that bag was screaming at him, laughing at him and taunting him to open it. Open the bag and grab the pills that he had refilled. He had multiple bottles of them, prescribed. He didn't need the pills but it was easy to get a prescription for something you don't need. While he was clean he had saved up multiple bottles of them, telling the doctors they helped with his manic episodes. It would be so easy to reach over and grab it.

He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. It felt like rocks going down his throat, like swallowing a mouthful of coarse sand. His mouth was so dry, like he hadn't drank an ounce of water in years. He sighed, trying to ignore the urges. “Fuck..” he mumbled.

He sat up once more, reaching for the backpack and setting it on the spot next to him. He opened the front pocket and pulled out a bottle as quietly as he could. The bottle rattled a small amount as he opened it, causing him to stop in place and listen for movement in the house. Sounded fine. He went back to his plan, taking one of the pills out from the bottle and closing it, setting the bottle carefully on the floor. He got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing the least rusty spoon he could find and making his way back to the couch. He placed the pill on the coffee table, holding it between his fingers as he lined the spoon up with the little line in the middle of the pill. He pressed down, crushing the pill in half with a small snap. He rotated the spoon, pressing it down and crushing both halves. He moved the spoon over the powder, thinning it more and more before he grabbed an old credit card from his bag and crushed it up more. He formed the powder into 2 thicker lines, leaning over and plugging one side of his nose. He did one of the lines and sniffed a bit, sighing before leaning over again and doing the last line.

He let himself fall back onto the couch, its soft fabric no longer feeling like sandpaper as he sniffed, wiping under his nose and closing his eyes. He let out one big sigh before he relaxed his body. He sat there for what felt like 10 minutes but was only about 1 before he decided to sit up and use the old card to gather whatever was left on the table and put it into the bottle with the pills before closing the bottle and returning everything to his bag, including the spoon. He zipped up his bag and placed it back on the floor, falling back into the couch again as he stared at the ceiling.

He sat in that spot for around 30 minutes before ultimately deciding to get up and scavenge the garage for wood to fix the fence with. He moved things around, twitching strangely and snapping his fingers quietly as he looked. He couldn't find any around him beside the couple different sized pieces by the garage door so he pulled the ladder to the attic down, climbing up it and looking around. It was decently dark but he could see enough to notice a pile of long boxes behind where the mattresses were. He opened one and celebrated internally when he found wood, all of the same kind. Some of it was soggy but he was sure it would dry out if he tried. He started dragging all of it by the ladder, being as quiet as he could. Gerard started to pull them down the ladder one by one, eventually getting them all down and stacked against the wall. He put the ladder back up and checked the workbench attached to the wall to see what kind of tools they had access to.

He messed around in the garage quietly for a long while before wandering back into the living room and sitting on the couch again. He pulled out a small calendar from his bag and put a little snowflake on today's date before putting it back in his bag and pulling out his sketchbook. He opened it up and looked at the sketches and drawings in it. He wanted to draw something or finish an unfinished drawing.

He curled up, flipping to a clean page and letting his hand move as it wanted. He drew for 20 minutes before he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Gerard closed his sketchbook and set it on the ground, looking behind the couch to the stairs. He watched a small silhouette walk down the stairs tiredly, blanket wrapped around it as it walked into the living room.

“Gerard..?” Frank's voice could be heard, quiet and tired as he walked closer to the couch.

“Hey Frankie, why are you up so early?” Gerard asked him, sitting up and patting the spot next to him to tell Frank to sit down, which he did. It wasn't unusual for Gerard to come stumbling to Frank in the night, something either startling him or he didn't feel safe. Frank had only twice gone to Gerard in the night and both times he had come home from the bar drunk and was bored. Gerard never questioned why he hadn't gone to Ray or Mikey, Ray being his roommate and Mikey his best friend.

“Something woke me up a while ago and I couldn't fall back asleep…” he spoke quietly, curling up by the arm of the couch. He looked at the ground in front of Gerard, spacing off slightly.

Gerard could tell he was at least partially lying, his eyes and cheeks were puffy. His cheeks were darker than the rest of his face, Gerard guessed they were red but couldn't tell completely in the lighting. His eyes were bloodshot and squinted, eyelashes stuck in clumps, slightly wet. His cheeks and eyes looked glossy. He had been crying, his random quick breaths in further solidifying the fact that he had been upset about something as he was clearly still coming down from it.

“What happened?” he asked barely above a whisper, turning to face him and putting a hand on his shoulder. Frank flinched slightly at the hand on his shoulder, sniffling.

Frank shook his head, keeping his mouth closed as he breathed in quickly, hiccuping from his previous crying. “Come on Frankie, I know something is wrong, what's going on?” Gerard spoke soft and calm, rubbing small circles in his shoulder with his thumb.

He hiccuped a couple more times, seemingly having more of a difficult time keeping calm. “It was a dream…” he mumbled, looking at the one cushion between the two, a spot with enough room for him to lay down. He was tired, he wanted comfort but he didn't want to make Gerard uncomfortable, he knew that the other man wasn't the biggest fan of affection.

Gerard frowned, continuing to rub circles into his shoulder blade slightly. “Would you want to tell me about it?” he asked softly.

Frank shook his head softly, “i-i was gonna come and see if i packed the gummies the doctor gave me, to try and help me sleep or something..” he sniffled as he spoke, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Gerard got up and walked over to Frank’s bags which were across the room, Frank’s eyes following him as he did so. He opened and went through the bags, finding them in the first bag and only having to go through 3 pockets before he found them. He grabbed one of the gummies from the bag, resealing it and closing his bag before going to another bag and grabbing a water and some kind of flavor packet from it before making his way back to the couch. He sat on the spot opposite from Frank, leaving them on different sides of the couch as Gerard handed him the gummy. He watched as Frank ate it slowly while Gerard opened the water and put the flavor packet in it, closing the bottle and shaking it before handing it to him.

“Here you go,” Gerard said with a small smile, watching Frank as he avoided eye contact.

“Thank you..” he spoke quietly as he washed it down with the fruity tasting liquid before setting the bottle on the coffee table and sniffling again, leaning against the arm of the couch.

“Mhm, are you sure you don't want to talk about it?” he asked, feeling sympathetic for him.

Frank nodded, “yeah im- im sure,” he warped his blanket around himself better.

“Would you like a hug?” he asked, holding his arms out slightly, wanting to make the smaller man feel better.

Frank didn't answer for a bit before nodding and starting to crawl across the couch, “yes please..” he said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

Gerard held him in a hug, leaning back against the spot between the arm of the chair and the back of the chair which pulled Frank slightly onto him. He rubbed his back softly, not making him move from the hug as he felt Frank shift to be more comfortable. Frank didn't want to move from his arms, it had been so long since he had been comforted by anything other than a substance or media.

Gerard shifted so that Frank laid slightly on him, resting between the older man's legs. Frank kept hiccupping a couple times a minute as he was held by Gerard. Gerard leaned over to grab something from the floor, having grabbed another blanket which he spread to cover Frank, moving it so it didn't go past his shoulders. Gerard continued to rub Frank's back with both of his hands, making patterns and shapes as he did so.

They sat like that for 10 minutes before Frank spoke up, “am i making you uncomfortable at all..?” he peered up at Gerard, not wanting to ruin anything.

Gerard shook his head, “not at all Frankie, not at all,” he spoke softly, not returning the gaze. He watched as Frank nodded and laid his head back down on Gerard’s chest. He was tense in his arms, indicating that he was on edge and sober still. “It's gonna be okay, i'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you,” he spoke quietly, just above a hiss.

“It wasn't me..” he said in a hardly audible tone.

“Hm?”

“My dream, we were stopped in the woods,” he started, “and,” he took a deep, shaky breath in. “and Mikey, Ray and you had told me to stay in the car cause you guys had to grab something from the back or something like that,” his voice got shakier as he spoke. Gerard rubbed his back a bit heavier, letting him know that he was there for him. “And out of nowhere this herd of zombies came up and attacked-” his voice broke, causing him to let out a quick breath before breathing in hard. “They- they attacked you all, and i couldn't do anything but watch…”

Gerard could feel something wet against his chest, telling him that Frank was crying. “They took their fucking time with you,” he hiccupped, “throwing you around and jumping on you, you almost made it back into the car but they got you just as you got to the door,” Frank tried to speak clearly, his body shaking made it hard. “I just wanted to get out of the van and save you guys but when I tried it was locked and,” he couldn't keep talking, his breathing too erratic.

“Shhh, it's okay, im keeping us all safe, im fine,” Gerard moved one of his hands to rub Franks head. “Im okay, Mikey and Ray are okay,” he reassured him, “we are gonna be okay,” he said quietly.

Frank sniffled, hiccupping more than before. Gerard hummed softly as Frank cried mostly silently.

It was clear that the gummy was kicking in a bit later when Frank relaxed himself a bit and his body became heavier. He started to smile softly at Gerards humming, looking up at him. Gerard looked down at him with a small chuckle as he continued humming.

“I think I'm high,” Frank said with a quiet giggle.

“Oh really? Why is that?” he replied with a small snicker, amused by him.

“I'm letting myself think about things that I usually block out,” he said simply as he laid his head back down on Gerard’s chest.

“What does that mean? What kind of things?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. He was curious now.

Frank shook his head, “if anyone knew of the thoughts in my head, you would all be very concerned.”

Gerard laughed quietly, “you've heard some of the things in my head, i think surely that my thoughts are worse than yours,” he challenged.

“Mmmmm, no. as much as high me would absolutely love to tell you, sober me would be very pissed at high me,” he spoke with a slight slurring of his words as he snuggled into him further, closing his eyes.

“I still don't understand what you mean Frankie,” he told him.

“Good,” was all that Frank said in response.

Gerard sighed, “would you tell Mikey or Ray if they asked?” he questioned.

Frank nodded, “i have told Mikey, he thinks its fucking weird and disgusting, his words not mine,” he chuckled.

Gerard scoffed, “well why can they know but i can't?”

“Because they can,” he looked up at Gerard again, making eye contact with him. They shared stares in silence for a bit too long, Gerard being the first to look away to the ceiling by tilting his head back, Frank not looking away at all. Gerard could see him in the corner of his eyes, feeling his stare but choking it up to him being soberly impaired.

“That's not a good answer,” he complained.

“It is though,” Frank replied.

Gerard sighed and went quiet, staring at the ceiling and twitching slightly, cursing at himself internally for him having to be all shaky and twitchy now out of all times.

“You're shaking, why?” Frank asked, not breaking his stare.

Gerard hated that Frank always knew. “I don't know,” he shrugged softly.

“Go take my silly gummies, you need to relax and you haven't slept since,” he paused, “how did i end up in my bed?”

“Oh my god, you just completely forgot?” Gerard sighed, “I woke up in your bed so I came down here and moved you cause you wouldn't get up.” Frank finally looked away, looking to the side.

“Just-” Frank got up from Gerards arms, going over to his bag and going in the same pocket that Gerard had, taking out and doing the same things he had before going back to Gerard and handing him the gummy he had acquired and the bottle from the coffee table, “relax now.”

Gerard shook his head, “I'm fine, I want to do things before I do that again.”

“Well, how about we move my bags to my room, then will you?” he asked as he rolled his eyes.

Gerard thought for a second before nodding, his recent high was short lived. He got up off of the couch, watching as Frank held the gummy in his fist and put the lid on the bottle. Gerard picked up Frank's bags, going up the stairs with Frank following close behind. He went into Frank’s room, setting all of the bags down softly. He had done a good job of being quiet so far, they hadn't woken anyone to their knowledge.

Frank was making his bed, putting sheets on it before pillows and blankets. Gerard closed the door as Frank sat on the bed with a smile, “come sit, you're gonna relax tonight,” he held out the bottle and gummy.

Gerard rolled his eyes as he climbed on the bed, taking the things from Frank. He ate the gummy and drank some of the fruity drink before setting it on the ground. “Can I go downstairs now?”

“No,” Frank answered with a smile.

“Now you’re gonna make me be around you when i've had a gummy? This is bullshit,” he frowned.

“Why can I see you when you're on other things but not gummies?” Frank asked with a quiet giggle.

“Because edibles give me a different kind of high, I only eat them when I'm alone for that reason,” he groaned quietly, putting his hands on his face and flopping onto his side on the bed.

Frank raised an eyebrow as he wrapped his blanket around himself again, “what do you mean, most drugs give different highs?”

“Not explaining.” he replied firmly, keeping his face hidden.

“That's dumb,” Frank said, flopping onto his side like Gerard.

Gerard scoffed, removing his hands from his face to look at Frank. “If you tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine,” he raised an eyebrow, seeinging if he would oblige.

Frank shook his head, “no thank you, i think i'm actually fine not knowing if that's the case,” he chuckled as he rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

Gerard stared at him, feeling the beginning of the edible kicking in. his eyelids got heavy, eyes getting dry no matter how hard he blinks. His mouth felt like someone had wiped it of all of its moisture. Yet it felt amazing.

“When is the next time we are going out?” Frank asked, “All of us, I mean, like the town or something,” he added.

Gerard thought for a good while, watching Frank who, by the looks of it, also had heavy eyelids and a parched mouth. “Depends when we need to, we can explore almost whenever but it is dangerous,” he spoke carefully.

“What about medical supplies, did you pick up enough of those?” he asked, looking over to meet Gerard’s eyes.

Gerard shook his head, “we only have one that was under my sink, i'm not sure how old or full it is but youre right that we need that,” he sighed, glancing away for no more than a second before looking back at Frank who was staring at him with lidded eyes and a slightly open mouth. He watched as the younger boy’s eyes wandered where they pleased, seemingly memorizing every feature on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Gerard said nervously with a small giggle.

Frank gave him a toothy grin, eyes squinting as he did so. “Why am I creeping you out?” he joked with him.

“I've seen creepier, you're more scary than creepy. Though you're not the scary part, the scary part is the way you keep staring at me, the feeling in my gut that your stare receives,” he spoke quietly, looking at the ceiling as he spoke almost poetically. “The way you just keep scanning my face like I'm something magnificent, like it's the last time you will see me. The way your mouth opens on its own as if to speak out about something or make an action but like they are frozen with fear, fear of what could happen, fear of the future. The future is terrifying,” he rambled on, “fear is terrifying, the mere idea that something bad will happen if you are to even slightly reach out slowly. speak the wrong word and fall down an endless pit that you can't seem to grab onto anything, let alone climb out of the empty space. It's all so terrifying really,” his voice was soft and carefully spoken, words chosen like the last ones he would ever speak.

Silence. No sound around them other than the sound of bugs outside and breathing inside, the sound of them breathing. Gerard was breathing calmly, Frank couldn't say the exact same. His breathing was slow but uneven, like he was manually breathing and had forgotten how.

“Your silence worries me,” Gerard turned his head to look at Frank again, making eye contact with him. Frank looked starstruck, in awe from anyone else’s view.

Frank tried to speak but his words were too heavy for him to be able to push them out of his throat, a lump in his throat of words almost whispered. He stared, trying to piece together a sentence in his head. It felt like the world was going all too fast for both of them, yet they were just laying there and sharing a stare.

“This is why i don't eat gummies with people, did i make you uncomfortable?” Gerards tone switched to one of worry, fueled by Frank's silence.

Frank shook his head slowly, “no, no you didn't,” he spoke slowly and quietly as he answered Gerard. Even that line up of those four words left him swallowing cotton, as well as his feelings. “Just- the future is terrifying,” he spoke hardley above a whistly tone.

Gerard had been laying on his side, very little space between him and Frank who also laid on his side but slightly less curled up than Gerard. They continued to stare at each other, usually Gerard would say that this would be awkward but he couldn't seem to find any uncomfortable tones in either of them.

“It's late,” Gerard spoke suddenly, whispering but not daring to break eye contact, “we should rest.”

Frank nodded hesitantly, finally looking away, looking at his blanket laid on the bed. Gerard got up off of the bed, watching as Frank sat up slowly with a sad look on his face. Gerard paused, sensing something wrong.

“You alright Frankie?” he asked quietly, voice tinted with concern. Gerard saw as Frank looked up at Gerard from the bed, laying with his knees curled slightly to his side as he propped his upper body up with his arm. He looked at Gerard through his eyelashes, head not turned all the way to see him, mostly his eyes.

“Just- scared still..” he mumbled, looking back down at the bedspread.

Gerard frowned, “how about i go grab some of my things and i'll stay here with you while you sleep, i'll keep you and i safe,” his expression changed to more of a smile when he saw Frank nod slowly. “Alright, I'll be right back,” Gerard spoke before leaving the bedroom. He came back a couple minutes later with a sketchbook and pencil and pen, sitting on the floor next to the bed.

Frank looked over at him when he returned, “I suppose the bed is too small for us to both fit on,” he spoke quietly, earning a nod from Gerard. “You can sit next to me, I don't take up much room when I sleep,” he offered.

“Are you sure?” Gerard asked as he looked up at Frank from the floor. Frank nodded and scooted closer to the wall, feeling the mattress shift as Gerard sat next to Frank, pulling his knees up to rest his sketchbook on.

Frank watched tiredly as Gerard drew. He watched every line drawn, every dot and stroke, every area that he had filled in, yet he wasn't quite sure what he was drawing.

Soon enough Frank was breathing soft and controlled as he had seemingly fallen asleep. He had laid his head slightly on Gerard’s lap. When Gerard noticed that the way his neck was probably wasn't comfortable, he held Frank’s head up a bit softly as he moved to be further under him, letting Frank use his upper thigh as a pillow as he drew. He hummed quietly as he drew, drawing through the night and as the sun rose, marking the start of the day.

The sun had risen more than half way when Gerard moved carefully from under Frank, setting his now closed sketch book on the floor next to the bed and leaving the room quietly. Gerard had gone downstairs and grabbed food from one of the bags, bringing it to the kitchen and looking for a clean pot. He did end up finding one, turning on the sink to see if there was running water. It wouldn't go so he set his stuff down on the counter and went over to his bag, grabbing a gun and loading it before going out the back door to see if he could figure out how to fix the pump.

He held his gun close as he looked around the outside of the house, coming up on some boxes attached to the side of the house. He found a big generator, celebrating to himself as he messed with it, trying to turn it on. He got it on and it seemed to be solar powered, having a chord that went to the roof. He went back inside, locking the back door and checking the sink to see if water would come out now. It did, the water worked. He smiled as he rinsed out the pot before pouring some canned soup in it, setting it on the stove which was gas powered. He took a match and turned on the gas, lighting the match and lighting the stove. He grabbed one of the few non rusty spoons and rinsed it off before slowly mixing the soup.

As he was warming up the soup he heard two pairs of feet coming down the stairs, one of the people was talking quietly about something. As they rounded the corner Gerard could see that it was Mikey and Ray.

“What are you making?” Ray asked, sitting on the couch with Mikey.

“Soup, enough for everyone,” he said as he was facing the pot, “there is a generator in the back so we have limited power, once we go out and explore i'll find another one and we might be able to take hot showers and stuff,” he poured the soup in three different bowls, bringing two of them to Mikey and Ray who thanked him. It was bright out so Gerard felt okay waking Frank up so that's what he did, going upstairs with a bowl of soup and waking Frank up.

“Why are you waking me up,” Frank complained as he sat up, smiling when he saw the soup, taking it and starting to eat it.

“That would be why I'm waking you up,” he chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What can I do around the house today?” Frank asked between sips, enjoying the soup.

“You can help Mikey with putting blinds and curtains up and de-rusting spoons and pots and stuff like that?” he suggested, “I think we were all gonna talk together about today downstairs.”

Frank nodded as he quickly finished his soup and started getting up. Once they had both made it downstairs and into the living room, they sat down in the couch-like chairs.

Everyone was quiet for a bit as the other two ate. “So, what's the plan?” Mikey asked.

“I was gonna ask Ray if he would go out and fix the fence with me, i found the wood for it in the attic last night,” Gerard spoke, looking over at Ray.

“Sure, why not,” Ray shrugged, setting his empty bowl on the coffee table. “We need someone to put up the curtains and stuff still, right?” he asked, looking between the three others.

Frank was the first to speak on that, “Mikey and I could do it, if we finish we can start the solution for getting the rust off of the stuff in the kitchen,” he suggested, stealing Gerard’s previously spoken idea.

“Why do you always sign me up for things I don't agree on?” Mikey turned to Frank, semi joking.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

The sun was peeking through the trees while Ray and Gerard walked through their yard with a wheelbarrow of supplies. Ray fixed the fence with Gerard, both of them keeping an eye out for undead, flinching at squirrels and deer, a couple times they even got so worried that they took their guns out and pointed them around.

They stayed mostly quiet as they hammered and screwed the boards in place. Inside Frank and Mikey were putting curtains and blinds up and looking at stuff around the house. Ray and Gerard stayed outside, busy with the fence and figuring out how much land they had. They stayed out until the sun was almost set, putting stuff in place, not finishing but having to stop.

They all regrouped on the couch, eating some strange stew that Mikey had heated up. “So, what's going on?” Mikey asked before taking a bite of the stew.

“About half done, you?” Ray asked quietly.

“We finished everything, I also put together one of those random piles of wood, I have a nightstand now,” Frank spoke with a smile, drinking from his bowl.

Ray nodded in response and they all fell into silence again, eating quietly and then respectively going to do their own things. Ray was the first to finish, going upstairs. Mikey was next, heading up the stairs as well. Frank and Gerard sat in silence for a bit longer than needed before Gerard got up and put his empty bowl in the sink, going downstairs, leaving Frank alone.

Frank put his bowl in the sink and went upstairs, wanting to hang out with someone. He went to Mikey first, but his room was empty. He went to find Ray but when he knocked on the door there was no answer, where did they go? He searched the top floor, after not finding them anywhere he decided that they were probably in Ray’s room and didn't hear him. Now to bother Gerard, down two sets of stairs before checking the room that had needed the most work.

He was there. sweatshirt off, leaving him in his t-shirt, a very rare sight. He had been working hard by the looks of it, walls torn down to almost nothing on the outside walls and the carpet almost entirely gone, salvaging a corner that wasn't molded. He looked up at Frank specifically. Like he knew it was him before he looked, like he could sense it or something, weird. Gerard gave him a small rushed smile that fell quickly as he had looked down at the tool box he had been digging in again.

“Hey, need something?” he asked, grabbing a couple tools and standing up.

Frank shook his head, “May I help with anything?” he asked in return.

Gerard shrugged, “I suppose if you could go upstairs to the garage and grab me the insolation spray that would be nice, it's in a blue can,” he glanced over at him before returning to tearing down what little remained of the walls.

So that is what Frank did, he went upstairs and retrieved it for him and brought it to him, back down the stairs and into the room. He moved back to a still position by the door, waiting for another order, happy to help.

“You alright Frankie?” he asked quietly, giving him a longer look before he went back to the wall.

Frank took longer than intended to answer, “I think so, can I help more?” he asked, wanting to change the subject.

Gerard nodded, “take that scraper and scrape a thin layer off of the base wood on those walls over there, can you do that?” he gave him a job. The last time Gerard had seen Frank under a large amount of stress he had been asking Gerard for things to do as well. Except, this time it was different somehow, Gerard could tell.

“Yep!” he answered, happily. He walked over to the wall and started to scrape. Somewhere along the way Gerard must have finished tearing the wall off because suddenly Gerard was right next to Frank, scraping at the panel next to him. He finished his part and turned to Gerard, watching Gerard finish and look at him.

“Good job, you should get to bed shouldn't you? It's getting late,” Gerard said as he turned to Frank, ending the silence that went for who knows how long.

Frank shrugged, “are you gonna keep doing this?” he asked.

“Well yeah but-”

“Then I am too,”

It was settled, Gerard didn't try to fight him on it, he just grabbed the scraper from him and set both of them on the floor, checking the tool box for something. He ended up pulling out one mask that had a filter on it and one surgical mask as well as two pairs of safety glasses, handing Frand the filtered mask and glasses. They both put their masks and glasses on, Gerard handing Frank the blue thing that Frank had grabbed earlier.

“Spray it between panels,” he told him, standing back as Frank went up to the first spot and hesitantly sprayed it. It slowly started to foam up, surprising Frank.

“Why do you know how to do this stuff?” Frank asked as he looked back at Gerard, “you stay in your room all of the time, no offense,” he turned back around.

“Wasn't a complete burn out till late high-school, lots of afterschool activities and I was never into the gym classes,” he shrugged, watching as Frank started to get more confident as he did it from panel to panel.

Frank chuckled when he finished the spray, “I'm pretty sure I knew you in late high-school and you seemed to care about school still and you didn't use drugs or drink that often,” he took the mask off before making a sour face and putting the mask back on, fumes bad.

Gerard laughed a little, quietly, before taking the blue can from him and setting it down and handing him the scraping tool again and a pair of gloves. “I did abuse them pretty badly. I was just still trying to not traumatize you two. After a couple incidents I realized that I had stopped hiding it as much,” he shrugged, putting gloves on and starting to scrape the extra foam off of the outside, evening it out. “I do hope I didn't actually traumatize you two though..”

“I don't think you did, Mikey and I used to check your pulse though, sometimes we still do if you are too still in your sleep,” he admitted, copying Gerard.

“You check on me in my sleep? Weirdo,” Gerard jokes, scoffing to make sure he knew it was sarcasm that caused him to roll his eyes.

Frank giggled, “yeah, you used to come to me drunk, I had to make sure you didn't die or something,” he replied, making a jab at Gerard, not a painful one.

“Well you will be happy to know that will not happen again,”

“Oh yeah, because now you won't be limited by money and I will have two sets of stairs to bring you back to your room instead of a hallway walk,” he chuckled, making a playful jab at Gerard that would make anyone else concerned.

Gerard rolled his eyes so hard that Frank would feel it as he scraped at the foam. “Youre so..” he sounded annoyed but his face showed his eyes squinted under his glasses, smiling.

“Im so what, finish that sentence Gee,” Frank teased, not taking his eyes off of the foam because he was focused and also a small amount scared of what would happen if he did tear his eyes from the foam and plant them on Gerard for even another second, this apocalypse was really getting to him.

“I couldn't choose from my pool of words to fit you,” he replied.

“Why don't you let me take a dip in your pool of words, tell me.”

“Um,” Gerard thought for a moment, ‘stupid, idotic, annoying,’ was what his brain was shouting but his heart was screaming, ‘beautiful, kind, amazing,’ so he settled between the two. “No.”

“Ugh, whatever, fine,” Frank groaned, setting his scraper down, “now what,” he turned to Gerard.

“Now it has to dry overnight so you get to go to bed,” Gerard answered, looking at the mostly level walls.

That was the wrong choice of words on Gerard’s part, “you're not going to bed?” Frank questioned.

“Well no i was gonna start the carpet on the other room and then go to sleep but-” he was cut off.

“I'm doing it with you then,” Frank interrupted firmly.

Gerard shook his head, “Frank it's dark out, go sleep, you need it,” he frowned.

“I will not be sleeping until I see you asleep,” Frank shrugged.

“You're gonna have to watch me then cause it's really a one person thing cause it's a smaller area of mold,” Gerard started to clean up the tools, putting them all in the tool box, hoping that his words would change Frank's mind.

Frank nodded. He watched as Gerard ripped up the carpet, cutting and tearing it. Eventually Frank had gone upstairs and Gerard had thought he got too tired and went to bed but he came back down the stairs with one of the chairs from the kitchen, setting it in the doorway of the room and sitting on it. He stayed awake, watching Gerard for most of it. He was kind of awake at least, more like half awake. His body was heavy and his eyes were trying to betray him.

By the time Gerard had finished with the carpet he had looked over at Frank and he had one of his feet on the chair and was leaning his knee against the doorframe and his face against his knee. He looked very tired with his eyes hardly open and his mouth slightly open as he drooled on his knee. When he processed Gerard coming closer to him he shot up, sitting up in the chair and wiping his face with his sleeve slightly as he looked up at Gerard tiredly, rubbing his eye as he smiled shyly up at him.

“You tired Frankie?” he asked in a soft tone, stopping in front of him and looking down at him.

Frank made a small tired whine noise, shaking his head slowly as he struggled to look at him. “Why are you standing in front of me..?” he asked quietly.

“Because I need you to move to be able to get out of the room, you're sitting in the doorway Frankie,” he chuckled as he watched Frank tilt his head slightly.

“Mmmmmm…” he whined again, closing his eyes and leaning on the doorframe.

Gerard sighed, “I'm gonna pick you up, okay?” he asked, but he didn't get an answer so he picked him up carefully, carrying him up the stairs and to his room, setting him in his bed and putting the blankets over him. “Goodnight Frankie,” he whispered as he left the room.

Frank slept well that night, something about falling asleep after being exhausted feels wonderful.

~~~~~

It was well past lunch and Ray and Gerard were working on the fence still. They had to shoot an undead that morning but it was only one and it was quite far away so they weren't very worried when it happened. Mikey was helping Frank with something, Frank was determined to finish putting up the walls in Gerard’s soon to be room to surprise him and it just happened that Mikey was also not a fan of gym classes in high-school so being in drama tech really helped him learn how to build half decent walls.

They put up the drywall that Gerard had already measured out, of course, making it easier for them. By the time Ray and Gerard had made it back inside, Frank had had the chance to make dinner, sandwiches. They all sat in the living room, eating their sandwiches.

“So how is everything going?” Frank asked, smiling at the others.

“We finished the fence but we still have to do the gate but it's going good” Ray smiled back, setting his plate on the table in front of him.

“That's good, I'm glad that you don't have to be unsafe for longer,” Mikey said as he ate.

Gerard and Ray nodded, everyone returning to eating in silence. Everyone finished in the same order as the day before, leaving Frank alone again. This time he wasn't as upset because he knew that Gerard would go downstairs and see the walls.

“Did you put the walls up in the room downstairs?” Gerard asked, walking into the livingroom and standing in the doorframe, waiting for an answer. He chuckled when Frank nodded with a big smile, “well thank you, that helped a lot,” he smiled, sitting next to him on the couch.

“Do you need help with painting or carpet?” he asked quietly with a smile, bouncing his leg and putting his empty plate on the stack in front of him.

“Well, if you want you can help paint?” he turned to look at him.

Frank nodded and stood up, grabbing the plates and putting them in the sink before waiting for Gerard by the stairs. They both went downstairs and spent time painting the walls and talking, painting two walls a dark gray and the other two walls a dark red color, fitting. All of the extra paint was random, teals and pinks, grays and whites, everything in between but most of the cans were half full or less. And that is how they spent their night, giggling and trying to forget about the state of their world at the moment. They talked and talked as they painted, taking their time.

“Have you checked to see if radios still work? They might be doing broadcasts of some sort,” Frank had suggested, breaking their short lived silence.

Gerard shook his head, “that's a good idea, do you want to keep painting and i'll go find one?” he asked, turning to Frank.

“Sure, go ahead just be quick,” he didn't turn away from the wall as he answered, just listening to the taller man walk away. He could hear as Gerard searched the floor above him. It took longer than expected but eventually he watched Gerard come back into the room with an old portable radio, setting it up in the center of the room, turning it on and surfing through radio stations.

They sat in silence, accompanied by the static noise of the radio while Frank coated the walls in paint while Gerard messed with the radio. Frank was finishing up with the paint when Gerard sighed.

“I'm about to give up on this thing,” he whined, slumping over as he kept slowly changing the radio station.

Frank chuckled as he set his paintbrush down and went over to sit by him, taking the radio and turning it off, setting it back down. “Then stop fucking with it and lets go to bed, we can finish the carpet tomorrow,” he suggested.

Gerard groaned, getting up and nodding tiredly. He was acting differently but Frank couldnt put his finger on what was wrong. Frank got up and brought the radio to him as he followed Gerard who brought Frank to his room. Gerard rubbed his eyes as he yawned, pointing at the bed so that Frank would take the hint.

Frank climbed into his bed and laid by the wall, snuggling up and patting the spot next to him while Gerard sat next to him tiredly. “What's wrong Gee?”

“Tired,” he mumbled, looking over at Frank in the dark room.

“Lay down,” Frank said, “ how was your day?” he asked further.

Gerard was too tired to protest, laying down and facing Frank. “Mmm, tiring, I think I'm crashing,” he said with no further explanation while he closed his eyes.

Frank understood what he was saying though, “when did you do it again..?” he asked quietly, glancing away.

Gerards eyes shot open, bloodshot as he looked over at Frank with his eyes looking between Franks, “do what again..?”

“Gee..”

Gerard groaned quietly, “give me a timeline.”

“Since this whole apocalypse started,” he answered.

Gerard thought for a moment, eyes resting on Frank's legs as Frank watched him. “Once in the car while everyone slept and once yesterday I think,” he said quietly, “oh, and the other day when you came downstairs in the middle of the night, I had pretty much just finished.”

Frank sighed, “Jesus Christ Gee, I thought you said you didn't bring it,” he had a hint of annoyance in his voice which Gerard picked up on, refusing to look at him.

“I'm sorry…” he apologized, curling his arms closer to his chest.

Frank stayed quiet for a bit, it was killing Gerard. His chest got tighter and he started to feel hot as the bricks got piled onto his chest. His breathing picked up a bit as he hoped Frank wouldn't notice. Gerard couldn't see Frank, the heavy breathing and tightness of his chest narrowed his vision, fuzzy and black gradient getting more and more potent in his vision. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand reach for his face, resting on his cheek and rubbing circles into his cheekbone. Gerard tensed up more than he already had, face twitching a couple times. He didn't realize the water blocking his vision until a tear fell, causing him to wipe his face and sniffle, blinking back tears.

He continued to refuse Frank's stare, feeling the warmth of the hand on his face as Frank’s eyes burned holes into his face. He leaned into the touch while he tried to focus on the feeling of Frank rubbing circles into his cheekbone. Gerard could feel his eyelids begin to betray him as he fought to keep them open as he blinked quickly. He had been tired for quite a while so it made sense why his body was betraying him but it didn't make him any less upset about his eyelids acting like they were being pulled shut.

As the rest of his body started to betray him and relax without him noticing, Frank started to pull himself closer to Gerard, putting his free hand in Gerards hair and playing with it softly. He couldn't care anymore even if he tried to move it would fail and he would just end up helping Frank over. Gerard didn't even realize that his eyelids had fallen, until Frank brushed his thumb over his eyelid. He heard a small humming noise, he couldn't figure out where it was coming from but he couldn't care at the moment.

Frank played with his hair and rubbed soft circles into his face, soothing him. Gerard felt himself slip away more and more over time, body limp and breathing slow. He fell asleep peacefully.

Frank stopped humming when he was sure Gerard was sleeping, sadly laying down as he pulled himself closer to Gerard. He didn't touch him any further, taking his hand out of his messy hair but keeping his hand on Gerards cheek, letting it fall to his neck. Frank turned his head to stare up at Gerard as he curled up like he would fit right against Gerard with no issue, but he didnt move any closer. He laid curled in front of Gerard, staying inches away from him as he examined his face, falling asleep in place while looking at him.

In the other room down the hall, Ray found himself pacing outside of Mikey’s door; feeling each of his teeth with his tongue as he thought, trying to focus on something. He stood still, staring at the wooden door. He reached for the doorknob, hesitating before moving his hand to knock on the door. But he didn't knock, his hand just hovered in a fist in front of the door, waiting.

Ray sighed to himself as he lowered his hand and slowly walked away, heading back to his room. He was almost there when he heard a door open, causing him to turn. Mikey peaked out of his room, making eye contact with Ray.

“I thought I heard someone out here, what are you doing?” Mikey whispered, stepping out of the room a bit.

Ray glanced away, “just- got bored but I didn't want to wake you up,” he admitted quietly. That wasn't the entire reason he had paced outside of his door like an idiot.

“Oh, well you can come in if you want,” he gestured.

Ray shrugged, “I don't want to bother you or anything.”

“No I was just fucking with some stuff, youre welcome to join,” he kept his tone quiet, smiling when he watched Ray start to walk over after a couple seconds of thinking.

Ray and Mikey went into the room and closed the door, both sitting on Mikey’s floor mattress.

“So what were you doing?” Ray asked, looking at the array of electronics on Mikey’s bed.

Mikey was typing on a computer, pausing to look up at Ray. “I brought most of my stuff and i have a bunch of charged battery packs, service isnt good but we should be online for a couple more days before the service stops working so i'm trying to see what stuff works and what doesn't,” he explained.

Ray nodded slowly, looking at everything. “So, how are you holding up?”

Mikey just shrugged in response, ignoring the question for the most part. It was too late at night for questions like that. “Make a list of some of your favorite songs, make it a long list,” he changed the subject.

Ray grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from next to Mikey and sat against the headboard, thinking and writing. Mikey had glanced over at the piece of paper and typed something up on the computer in front of him. He had taken one of the songs from the middle of the list and went to spotify, thank god for spotify premium.

Ray smiled softly, content as he thought about songs and wrote them down, doing small sketches every now and then in the corners of the paper. Mikey had grabbed a chord and plugged it into the computer and then another thing that was out of Ray’s sight. He could be seen putting a presumably empty cd in the laptop, turning the volume down and starting to do something on the computer.

It had taken a while but he gave the pad of paper to Mikey, song names and artists crammed on the page. Mikey looked over the list and nodded, looking at some of the things on the bed. He grabbed a small console and handed it to Ray, a 3ds. Ray took it happily, playing on it. He felt relaxed, almost able to forget about the state of the world with Mikey across from him. It just felt like one of those nights that Frank wasn't home so he went to hang out with Mikey, usually also late at night. They would smoke and play video games or watch movies or shows all night long unless one of them fell asleep. There were a few times that it had happened but there were a couple times they fell asleep, if it was just Mikey then Ray would go back in his room, not wanting to wake him up. If Ray was the one to fall asleep Mikey would just also go to sleep; but for a while Mikey would go out to the livingroom and sleep on the couch.

Ray wouldn't mind falling asleep next to Mikey again, watching a movie next to him in bed, both snuggled in blankets with the light off as Ray would doze off. He didn't try to stop falling asleep with him anymore, if he was tired during a movie there was no shame in falling asleep next to his friend.

“What's your favorite color?” Mikey snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Oh uh, purple,” he answered, glancing up from the ds that he had been playing on.

Mikey nodded and they went back to listening to music. Ray ended up falling asleep some time later, Mikey cleaned up the bed and turned off the portable night light he had before laying in the bed next to Ray. he had put a blanket over Ray, laying down facing the other way as he fell asleep.

~~~~~

Throughout the days they got stuff done, Gerard finishing the gate and the rooms downstairs. The room next to Gerard’s had been turned into their pantry because it was colder in the basement and they had all been setting things up in the house. Frank had a bunch of plants in his room, held in broken pots or old shoes, some in plastic bags. Some of them were on his windowsill and some were in his closet but no one knew what any of them were. Ray’s room was plain but he did have everything organized, clothes hung up and stuff sorted, a guitar or two hidden in his closet.

Mikey had two dressers but hadn't bothered to put his bed frame together which was in the corner still. Gerard had a dark brown bed frame and a matching dresser, art set against the walls and art supplies on top of his dresser.

Everyone was starting to accept that they wouldn't wake up in the morning and everything would be normal so they were finally trying to settle in. It had been well over a month already, they had spent many days hidden away doing nothing, trying to forget life. It was almost christmas and none of them had talked about it, since it started to get cold out they all just laid in their rooms all day, basically only coming out for food.

The next time they all hung out was when Frank had pulled out the uno cards and forced everyone to play. They all sat in the living room with snacks and cards, spread out and focused.

“Does anyone know the date?” Ray asked as he placed a card down.

“Wednesday December 4th,” Gerard said with a smile while he placed a card down.

“Shit, are we doing Christmas this year?” Frank asked, skipping Mikey.

“Asshole! I'm not getting you a gift because of that.” Mikey said in a slightly salty tone.

“I mean why not, we can go on our first outing and find stuff then,” Ray suggested.

Gerard nodded as he took his turn, “when do you all want to go out?”

They all did their turns as they shrugged or thought. “Why not tomorrow?” Frank asked.

“Sure, maybe we should go to sleep early tonight,” Mikey spoke up, placing a card down.

They all agreed and talked about where they would go and what they would do as they played cards. They went to sleep not long after the sun had set.

~~~~~

“I'll be fine!” Mikey had defended himself.

“You have to dress like we are going to go on a hike, cause we are! A hike with zombies and people who want to kill us!” Ray had shouted back.

They had been fighting over Mikey’s outfit for a while, he was only wearing a shirt and light hoodie with ripped jeans and cheap looking shoes. Frank had been watching them with an amused look, he knew that not only would Ray not let Mikey go out that unprepared, but Gerard definitely wouldn't let him.

“Mikey, catch,” Gerard could be heard as he walked in the room. He threw Mikey a bag with clothes in it.

Mikey groaned, about to speak when Ray cut him off, “don't even try to defend yourself here, we aren't letting you leave until you put those on,” he had said in an annoyed tone. Mikey groaned again and left the room, coming back with the clothes on, putting his empty bag on his back.

“Happy?” he said, annoyed.

They nodded. They all wore different variants of underclothes, layered on under jackets and hoodies with empty or almost empty bags on their backs along with sweatpants under jeans. Gerard’s bag was the most full, having things that the others forgot. They all left the house quietly, starting their walk as Frank looked at a map.

“This snow fucking sucks,” Mikey commented as they walked through the 5 inch snow.

“Happy we made you change?” Gerard said, not getting a response.

It took them around 3 hours but they made it to the small abandoned town. They crouched down behind a building, out of sight.

“If you hear something don't investigate alone, if you get any sort of injury find someone, even a scratch. Preferably stay in sight of us but if you do get out of sight, limit your time with that,” Gerard was speaking as he open his bag, pulling a couple things from it, “if you need something, ask and try to stay alert,” he handed them each a bottle of water.

They all agreed before getting up and getting their weapons out, waiting for Gerard before going around the corner and starting to explore the small town. It looked deserted, empty other than all of the objects thrown around which Gerard took his time looking through, trying to salvage anything that hadn't been ruined in snow. Frank just looked to be exploring, holding his knife close to him as he ventured. Ray stayed between Mikey and Gerard, trying to decide who to stay with. Mikey was going inside of the buildings fully, resting his hand on the gun in his pocket as he looked around. Ray decided to follow him in, gazing at things and picking some things up to shove in his bag or pockets.

Mikey was silently picking up items, stuffing them in his bag while he glanced at Ray. “What kind of things are you looking for?” he asked, looking up at Ray.

He shrugged, picking some more things up off of the floor. “Probably some crafty stuff or something that reminds me of you guys,” Ray answered.

Mikey nodded and continued to go from building to building slowly looking at stuff with Gerard always one building behind them. Frank was somewhere, no one could see him and Gerard had scolded him a couple times already whenever Frank went to show him something or tell him something.

“What's up with Frank and Gerard?” Ray asked all of a sudden, looking at Mikey who paused and looked at him weirdly.

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know, they are just acting weird, usually wouldn't Frank be showing you all of the stuff he finds?” Ray made a point, walking over to Mikey a bit.

“I guess, he might just not want to bother me,” he shrugged, picking things up and looking at them.

“And Gerard had been treating him weird, like protecting him. In the years I've known you and Gerard he only was worried about you like that, until a couple months ago he didn't worry about anyone but you,” he kept speaking, taking a break from finding things to look at Mikey.

“I don't know dude, he's my brother, i don't know everything about him,” Mikey sounded slightly annoyed.

“Yeah but you know him better than any of us, besides you when was the last time that you saw Gerard care about anyone else,” Ray kept pushing.

“Gerard cares about people, more than himself so that's your answer.”

“Yeah he cares about everyone and everything else but in a different way, you and Frank are the only ones allowed to bother Gerard and get in his space without him completely freaking out and he still freaks out a little even when it's you, i'm just wondering why he's being so strange,” Ray continued.

Mikey was facing the other way, still going over things, “I dont fucking know Ray, why dont you ask them, not the one person who didnt even know that everything was different,” he turned, an attitude to his voice and stare.

Ray dropped the topic, going back to searching through things.

Frank was following next to Gerard, rambling about some items he had found. Gerard listened half assed, glancing in buildings as they walked by.

“I'm gonna go back to exploring,” Frank smiled, running off before Gerard could protest.

Frank was humming quietly, moving around a dark and torn building. He was walking up the stairs in the back when he heard something move upstairs, just a quiet shuffle. He took his knife out of his pocket, opening it and putting his guard up, ready to kill something. Should he go get someone to help cause that is what Gerard said? Yes, is he going to do that? No.

He continued up the stairs, “ hello..?” he whispered, a zombie would have killed him already right? He didn't know, he hadn't seen a zombie in weeks.

He held his knife up, checking rooms quietly. “Frank?” he could hear his name being yelled outside but he didn't say anything. He kept going through rooms and kept hearing Gerard calling him, eventually Ray and Mikey joined in too. There was one more room and he was standing outside of it because it was locked. He should go to the people yelling for him because he probably couldn't even guess what was behind the door.

“Frankie!?” Gerard sounded more panicked by the sound of it but Frank couldn't pay attention to that right now. He took a deep breath as he put a hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it before kicking the door wide open with a loud noise. “FRANK!” was the response from the loud noise. Well atleast if he died they would know where. He stepped into the room and held his knife close.

It looked like some sort of office but from where he was standing he couldn't see anyone or anything that would have made noise. He lowered his knife but only a little, looking behind the door just to be sure. “Hm. come out fucker, I know there is something in here.” Frank spoke quietly, mostly to himself.

He heard something shuffle. “Fuck I was joking,” he mumbled to himself. It came from the desk so he kicked the large metal desk. The yelling of his name had gotten louder as the other three presumably were checking buildings.

When he kicked the desk he didn't get a response so he kicked it again, harder. Something made a noise. “Alright buddy, I'm like 90% sure that animals aren't this good at hiding and you seem pretty alive to me so I feel like you should just give up and come out,” that didn't get anyone to move any further either.

“Oh, also I'm not gonna kill you, I probably should have opened with that,” he chuckled, playing with the knife in his hand.

“How do I know you wont kill me?” a small voice could be heard from behind the desk.

“Look in those holes, I only have a knife and I think if I was capable of killing you my friends wouldn't be screaming my name,” he rolled his eyes, crouching in front of the desk and pushing his knife under the desk, “see, i'm not gonna kill ya, just want to make sure you aren't gonna kill me.”

The other person pushed the knife back under, to him, shuffling around under the desk. Frank stood back up when he saw the chair behind the desk move and heard someone standing up. He was around the same height as Frank and had dark brown short hair. He was clutching a large knife close to him but other than that he looked frail and lost.

“There you go, what's your name?” Frank asked, “I'm Frank, I think you picked up on that though,” he referenced the loud people yelling his name.

The scared looking man chuckled under his breath at the yelling people, “Pete,” was all he said and it was said quietly.

“Alright Pete, would you like to stay here and chill under that cozy desk or would you like to follow me?” he asked, putting his knife in his pocket.

Pete didn't say anything, just taking a step closer to Frank. Frank smiled and led him out of the building. Gerard had given up on yelling, so had Mikey by the sounds of it. Ray was still shouting his name every so often.

They were huddled in the middle of the town, by the looks of it Gerard was freaking out. Mikey and Ray had their backs facing Frank and when Frank made eye contact with Gerard, the taller of the two turned away almost immediately, letting himself drop to the floor and put his head in his hands as he crouched. This caused Ray to turn around with a puzzled look which became more confused when he saw the boy following close behind Frank. Mikey had knelt down next to Gerard and had hugged him, whispering something to him. That confused Frank.

“Guys I found a person! His name is Pete,” he smiled, stopping in front of them all and looking back at Pete.

“Oh sick, he's not gonna kill us right?” Ray asked, glancing to look over at the Way brothers who were still on the ground.

“Nope, sorry for freaking you guys out, I was worried he would shoot me if I yelled back to you but turns out all he has is this knife,” he explained.

Mikey got up and turned around to face him, “it's alright, we are just glad you aren't dead,” Mikey looked over at Pete, everything paused as he did, Mikey looked like he was taken off guard.

Ray had turned around, trying to force Gerard out of his hands and onto his feet, whispering things to him. “Mikey help me with Gee,” he requested.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” it took him longer than it should have to tear his eyes away and look at his brother on the floor, “Leave him be Ray, he just needs a second.”

Ray nodded and both him and Mikey turned back to Pete and Frank, Mikey ogling over Pete who still hadn't looked up from the knife in his hands for more than a second.

“That's Gerard on the floor, that's Ray, that tall poofy one.. and Mikey is the one staring, Mikey why are you staring,” Frank spoke to Pete, switching his aim to Mikey when he noticed the staring.

“Oh uh, sorry,” Mikey answered, forcing himself to look at Frank.

Pete nodded once at Frank, staying close to him. He looked tired and weak.

“Hey dude, when was the last time you ate or slept?” Ray asked, raising an eyebrow.

Pete thought for a moment, “two days ago and four days ago I think,” he spoke quietly as he answered him, “not literally four days, but i've only gotten like 3 hours of sleep in that time.”

“Dude are you alright? We are gonna take you back home and fix those numbers,” he took a water bottle out of his bag and handed it to Pete who downed the water in a couple seconds, crushing the bottle and shoving it in his pocket, nodding.

“It's like a 4 hour walk in the snow, do you think you can walk that far?” Frank asked him, getting a hesitant shake of the head in return. “Would you let Ray carry you or something?” he asked.

Pete shrugged, legs shaking and body shivering most likely due to exhaustion and his outfit being nothing but a hoodie and jeans by the looks of it. Ray walked closer to them slower than normal, not wanting to scare Pete as he tried to take the knife from him. Pete flinched but ultimately let him put the knife in his bag and pick him up.

“I would put you on my back but my backpack,” he explained as he felt Pete tense in his arms.

Gerard had composed himself for the most part, avoiding eye contact. “we should start heading back, it's gonna get dark in an hour or two, did everyone get everything they wanted?” he asked.

Everyone nodded and followed Gerard who had started walking before anyone answered. Ray and Gerard walked side by side in front of Frank and Mikey, Pete laying over Ray’s shoulder and looking around the forest, eyes darting around. Mikey was staring and Frank said something about it an hour after they had left the town.

“Why have you been ogling the new guy,” he said, more of a statement as he looked at Mikey and nudged him with his elbow.

“What? I haven't been,” Mikey denied Frank's words.

“Bullshit, you've been staring at him like you used to stare at that one kid in science class,” he rolled his eyes, moving his eyes to Pete who looked to at least be resting his eyes, arms around Ray.

“He's kinda cute..” Mikey looked away with a slight red tint to his cheeks.

“Fucking fag,” he chuckled, looking over at Mikey who looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“You're one to talk,” he mumbled.

“What.”

“Oh Gee I'm so tired but I can't sleep, climb into my bed with me and snuggle,” Mikey mocked him, rolling his eyes.

“I do not sound like that, I have never once asked Gerard to sleep with me,” Frank said a little too loud.

Gerard was drinking water when he said that as they walked, when he heard Frank he spit out his water, pausing and turning to look at the two of them. “What.”

“Has Frank asked you to sleep with him?” Mikey asked.

“These are weird questions guys,” Ray pointed out.

“Shh, I want to hear,” Mikey punched Ray on the arm lightly.

“You're lucky I have my arms full or I would have hit you back.”

Mikey stuck his tongue out at him.

“No, Frank has never asked to sleep with me, what the fuck,” Gerard went back to walking, making everyone walk with him.

Frank and Mikey fell back a little again, Frank groaning.

“Asshole, I have never asked him to sleep with me, he's your brother that's gross.” Frank spoke quieter than before, careful for Gerard.

“It is gross, that's why it's gross that you want to get in his pants,” Mikey rolled his eyes.

“Ew no, stop it you're just trying to distract me from your ogling,” Frank looked over at him, punching him in the arm. “I thought you liked taller guys,” he added.

Mikey shrugged, “yeah, I still can like miniature sized people like you and Pete,” he rolled his eyes.

“I'm not even that short dude, I'm average,” he scoffed.

“Average is like 5 '8 or something like that, you're short,” he chuckled, making fun of Frank.

“Im sorry not all of us are build like jacks giant fucking beanstalk,” he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

“You're trying to make fun of me for being lanky but I'd rather be a beanstalk than one of those bite sized snicker bars,” he chuckled, shoving Frank playfully.

Frank scoffed, “whatever, you're stupid.”

Mikey giggled in response, going back to staring at Pete who was awake and looking at Frank and Mikey. Mostly Mikey.

“I think you're not the only one ogling,” Frank teased, bumping into him on purpose.

“Whatever, leave me alone,” he groaned and Frank shrugged with a chuckle.

~~~~~

They made it back safe but had to take a couple breaks cause Ray’s arms got tired and no one else could carry the cold and weak boy. They probably could but it would have taken longer. When they got back Ray had set Pete down on the couch and said goodnight before going upstairs, ditching the rest of them.

“Where is he sleeping?” Gerard asked, looking at the other two while Mikey made food.

“I don't know, I bet Mikey has room in his room,” Frank winked at Mikey who made a sour face at Frank.

“Or he can sleep in your bed cause you never sleep on your own,” Mikey suggested.

“Yes I do, my bed is comfy,” he rolled his eyes.

“Guys I don't care where you sleep, I care where he sleeps,” Gerard rolled his eyes, starting to leave the room.

“What? Where are you going?” Frank asked.

“To get him new clothes, his look like they definitely need to be cleaned” he talked about Pete like he wasn't right here.

“No, I'll get him clothes,” Frank said, running upstairs before anyone could say anything about it.

“Hes so fucking strange,” Mikey mumbled, bringing a bowl of soup to Pete and setting it infront of him on the coffee table, moving it to be right infront of him. “There you go, let me know if you need anything,” he spoke sweet with a smile.

“Okay homo..” Gerard mumbled back, looking at Mikey as he gave him a death glare.

Mikey sat on the floor next to Pete and helped him drink the soup. He was shivering and shaking, staring at the carpet but not refusing the soup as he started to slowly eat it. Frank came down the stairs with a pile of clothes, setting them next to Pete on the couch.

“There you go,” Frank smiled, sitting in one of the chairs.

Mikey set the soup down and Frank traded spots with him. “Do you need help changing?” he asked him, getting a small “no '' in return. He nodded and everyone started to leave the room, “shout when you're done, i'll get you some blankets,” he smiled as he left the room, “Mikey go grab some extra blankets for him.”

Mikey groaned and went upstairs, coming back down with a couple blankets. They all waited for Pete to shout before going back to the living room, Mikey putting blankets around him.

They all sat somewhere in the living room, distancing themselves from each other.

“Thank you for saving me,” Pete spoke quietly as he went back to drinking his soup.

“It's alright,” Mikey paused to look at Frank, “could have saved Gerard a heart attack,” he added.

“I did not have a heart attack,” Gerard rolled his eyes.

Pete chuckled, everyone looked at him. “How long were you there for?” Mikey asked.
“That office, a couple days. That building, about two weeks I think. That town I've lived in for most of my life, moved there when I was 14,” he answered, finishing the soup and setting the bowl down, getting comfortable in the blankets. “I lost my gun a month back or something like that, i had been hiding in those buildings since winter started.”

“Wow, what happened, why is the town deserted?” Frank asked, to which Mikey punched him on the arm. “Ow! What?”

“No its fine,” Pete started, “the town was fine for a couple months, some kid decided to go into the woods to prove to everyone that zombies were fake, his parents wouldnt turn him in because they didn't want him to die but in the process the rest of the town either died or fled,” he shrugged. “What about you guys?”

“That sucks dude, Gerard here was worried about something bad happening. everyone in our town was getting sick, we wouldn't let him find out that the rest of the world was the same but he still was packed days before the outbreak even started. We fled the city before they could block off every exit and we were lucky enough that Mikey and Gerard’s parents had a cabin,” Frank explained.

Pete nodded with a yawn and tired eyes, “do you want to sleep in my room? I can sleep on the couch,” Mikey offered.

Pete shook his head, “I could never kick you out of your room.”

“I don't know, if i can fit two people in my small bed you two can both fit in your full bed,” Frank stood up, picking up the bowl and bringing it to the kitchen.

Mikey glared at Frank when Pete looked away. Gerard looked over at Mikey.

“Come on dude, you'll be fine,” Gerard said to him.

“Okay, alright, there is enough room,” Mike sighed.

“No no it's okay, the couch is fine,” Pete answered, looking up at him, “i'll be alright,” he smiled softly.

“Are you sure?” Gerard asked, raising an eyebrow. Pete nodded and pulled the blankets around himself more. “Alright.”

“I'm gonna head to bed, night guys,” Frank said before walking upstairs. Everyone shouted goodnight at him, Gerard also went upstairs.

“Well, I guess I'm going to bed too, don't be afraid to knock on my door, it's the one with the star stickers on it,” Mikey smiled as he stood up, walking away slowly, retreating upstairs.

~~~~~

Frank tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. He just kept thinking about what would have happened if it wasn't Pete that he found, what if it had been a zombie and they hadn't found him, what if it was an animal and it hurt him badly, what if it wasn't him that went in. what if it had been Mikey or Gerard or Ray and it had been a zombie. What if they died, what if Gerard was the one to go in that building alone. What if he died. What would have happened if he died, if Gee died. What would he have done if Gee had died, if it was by zombie Frank wouldn’t have the heart to kill him, he couldn't.

Suddenly the pillow beneath him was wet, salty wet, tears. He sat up and sniffled, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. He stared out his window, looking at the moon through the trees as he thought. He wiped his tears as they fell, sniffling and trying to stop them. He calmed down his tears eventually, not his thoughts though. He got up, leaving his room and slowly walking to Mikey’s door. His hand hovered over the doorknob before he walked away. He slowly walked down the stairs, hesitant as he did so.

“Hello..?” a small voice called, presumably Pete.

“Hey, what are you still doing?” he asked quietly, changing his path to walk to the living room and look at Pete who was laying on the couch. He uncurled himself where he was laying and sat up, looking at his lap.

“I'm not sure, just thinking… you?” Pete asked, looking up at him.

Frank leaned on the back of the couch. “I was thinking, was gonna go see Gerard to distract myself,” he shrugged as he spoke quietly.

“Oh, so what's going on with Mikey and Gerard, are they related or something?” he asked in return, confused.

“Oh, yeah they are, they have a way of doing things,” he paused, “you probably didn't get the joke, their last name is way,” Frank added on.

Pete chuckled a small bit, “so what's with Ray? That's the one with the poofy hair right? Why did he go straight upstairs?” he asked.

“Yeah that's him, he was probably just tired or something,” he shrugged, “so what were you thinking about?” he asked.

Pete looked at the ground, “I don't know, you'd think with the lack of sleep I've gotten that I'd be sleeping but even with the gate and locked doors I don't feel safe I guess,” he shrugged.

Frank nodded with a hum, looking at him. “If you need to be with someone or something, i'm sure Mikey wouldn't mind if you went and asked him to hang out, he might give you a hard time but he isn't actually bothered,” he gave him a soft smile.

“Okay, can you show me his room? He told me it was the one with the stickers on it but I'm still afraid I'm gonna knock on the wrong room,” he got ready to get up.

“Yeah of course, come on I'll show you,” Frank waited for Pete by the stairs. They went up the stairs and Frank showed him the right door. Pete smiled and nodded before mouthing thank you and waving at him. He turned to the door and readjusted his blankets.

Frank turned around and went back to his own room, closing the door and laying down. He was trying to go back to sleep.

At Mikey's door Pete hovered outside of it, cracking his knuckles for a bit before knocking on the door softly. He heard stuff moving around before he saw the door open. He looked up at Mikey.

“Hey, need something?” He sounded tired which made Pete feel bad a small amount as Mikey looked down at him.

“I uh, i'm sorry for bothering you but Frank said that you wouldn't mind if I hung out with you..” he looked down.

Mikey stepped to the side, “yeah for sure, come in dude.”

Pete walked in, sitting on the mattress awkwardly as he glanced around the room. It was dark, no lights on. Mikey shut the door and moved some things around in a bag before pulling out a battery powered night light, turning it on and sitting on the bed across from Pete as he put the night light down on his side table.

“Want to play a game or something?” Mikey asked, looking at Pete.

Pete shrugged, “Sure, what do you have?” he asked, looking over at him.

Mikey pulled a pile of board games and cards, setting them on the bed in front of him, “ these ones.”

Pete looked at the pile from where he was, scared to touch it.

“You can look through these, I found them in the closet in the hallway so they are pretty old,” Mikey reassured him.

Pete looked through the pile, moving things around. He picked one out and Mikey took the rest of them and put them on the floor.

“Monopoly, trying to ruin our friendship before it starts?” Mikey joked as he set up the board.

Pete smiled, grabbing his character and sitting it on the board.

“So where are you from?” Pete asked as he rolled his die and moved his piece.

“We are all from New Jersey,” Mikey stated, “it was quite the ride here but we hardly saw any zombies.”

“Sick, so before this all happened, what did you like to do for fun?” he asked, watching as Mikey took his turn.

Mikey shrugged, “electronics mostly, crafts, music,” he smiled, “you?”

“Sweet, i used to be the bassist in a small band in my town, i liked to do things with art, look at it, make it,” he shrugged, “music was a big part of my life too.”

“That's cool,” he took his turn, “I've always wanted to learn an instrument but I've always been too shy to ask any of my three roommates who all play instruments,” Mikey giggled at his own words.

Pete watched him closely as he spoke, taking in every feature on his face. it had been a long time since he had seen a person like this, that's why he was staring. “I could teach you to play bass if you ever find one, I'd be happy to teach you,” he offered.

“Really? I'm pretty sure that Frank brought most, if not all, of his instruments. If he doesn't have one I can ask Ray,” Mikey looked like he was hiding his excitement as he played the game with him.

“Yeah of course, I can definitely talk to Frank about that some time. Do you know how long I'm allowed to stay here? I dont want to overextend my stay,” Pete looked worried.

“You're always welcome, I doubt anyone is gonna kick you out and I can always pull another mattress in my room if you're staying for a while,” he smiled.

“You're too nice Mikey,” he smiled.

They both played monopoly and talked for a while, staring for longer than considered normal as the other spoke. By the end of their game they had both started to feel strongly about each other, neither of them could put their finger on the emotion but they knew it was strong.

Maybe monopoly didn't ruin every relationship.

~~~~

It was much later and Frank could occasionally hear the sound of laughing or voices that let themselves get too loud before quieting back down through excitement. Frank was still overthinking, eyes closed and curled up facing the wall.

He had spiraled at this point, no longer caught up in the events of the day but events in general.

He wanted to go to Mikey and sob in his arms while he ranted but he was busy with Pete and probably hated him now that he thought about it. He was such a whiny bitch and Mikey probably only put up with him because he pitied him and not in a good way.

He could go to Gerard?

No he couldn't, Frank was annoying and suffocating, those are two things Gerard didn't like. Frank was touchy and loud, Gerard hated touchy and loud. He rarely even let Mikey hug him for more than a second. Gerard hated loud things, he hated when things got too close, he hated physical affection, he hated Frank. Frank was suffocating and that's putting it lightly. Loud, obnoxious, touchy, annoying, four words that Gerard didn't like.

If he thought for longer he could come up with more words that annoyed Gerard and applied to himself. Gerard probably hated the way that Frank was always by his side, a liability, a responsibility.

Tears, his pillow had been wet for a bit but he had only noticed in a break in thoughts, a couple seconds where his mind didn't sound like a lunchroom in highschool. He shot up, sitting upright with his legs hanging off the side of the bed. He wrapped a blanket around himself and put pajama pants on before leaving his room quietly. He sniffled and tried to stop tears as he walked down the hall and down the stairs, fast but hesitant.

He stood at the top of the stairs to the basement and wiped his nose on his shirt like he had been doing in his room, causing the bottom and top of his shirt to be coated in snot and tears. He stared at the dark area down the stairs, the only light coming from under Gerards door and it was faint. As he started to go down the stairs slowly he realized he could hardly see anything.

It was terrifying. Especially in his current state. He hurried over to Gerards door, running down the rest of the stairs quickly. Just as he was about to wipe his face and knock, the door opened.

Gerard stood in front of him, quickly seeing him and taking in his features, wet and puffy, red and slimy, fast breathes and panicked looks. “Frankie?'' His voice was quiet and soothing.

That might just be because Frank was overthinking everything but he liked to tell himself that it was a soothing tone. “U-um,” his voice cracked. He cursed to himself softly before clearing his throat and trying again, “are you busy..?”

“No, of course not, come in,” Gerard let Frank in, dimming his nightlight that he had gotten from Mikey. “What's going on?”

Frank sat down on his bed, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders around himself more as he used his shirt to wipe his slow falling tears while he looked away.

“Was Mikey busy?” Gerard asked, sitting next to Frank but not close enough for Frank to be comforted by it.

Frank nodded, “Pete couldn't sleep, they are talking or something,” he shrugged, looking over at Gerard but not directly at him.

“What's going on in that mind of yours Frankie,” Gerard asked, reaching an arm out to rub his shoulder lightly, attempting to do what Mikey would do.

Frank stayed quiet for a moment before his tears started to fall more often, “too much..” he spoke quietly, trying to ignore the painful lump in his throat.

Gerard got up and went over to his closet, “no peeking,” he said with no explanation, Frank looked away, listening as Gerard searched before walking over and stopping in front of him. “Open,” he put something up to Frank's lips.

“Are you gonna poison me?” he asked, keeping his eyes closed while he tried to ignore the worry building in his stomach.

“Kinda? It's my solution for everything,” Gerard joked, shoving something in Frank's mouth and sitting on the bed, a bit away from him.

Frank ate it and looked at Gerard with puffy eyes, trying to avoid eye contact for too long.

“Lay down Frankie,” Gerard suggested, standing up and grabbing a notebook and pencil. He sat against the headboard, waiting for Frank who was hesitant as he laid down a small amount away from him. “Whats going on?” he asked, looking over at Frank for a second.

Frank shrugged, “don't know,” it came out as more of a whisper than he would have liked. He picked at his fingers, tearing the skin slowly.

Gerard reached over and moved Frank's hands to his lap so they weren't touching, “stop that, something is stressing you out more than normal, what is it?” he asked, staring at Frank like he had something on his face.

Frank refreigned from looking at them as he parted his mouth a bit to speak. His words felt too heavy to speak, too much weight to force past his throat. A lump formed in his throat, the words straining his muscles. “You don't hate me.. Right..?'' His words were hardly spoken, too much energy used to force them out, leaving nothing to raise the volume in which they were spoken.

Gerard looked puzzled, “no- Frankie i don't hate you, why would you think that?” he moved slightly closer, scared to touch him but wanting to comfort him.

Frank felt his eyes water, “i don't know,” he answered, curling up in his spot a small amount. “I'm scared that I've been bothering you,” he whispered.

Gerard frowned, “you haven't been bothering me, you've worried me a couple times but that's because i don't want you getting hurt,” he said softly.

Frank, let himself fall in his spot further, nodding to what Gerard had to say. “Sorry I just, don't know what to do with myself,” he answered, frowning and sitting up. “Im gonna..” he trailed off, looking to the side, “i'm gonna go back to my room, sorry for interrupting you,” he stood up, walking over to the door and standing awkwardly, “goodnight Gee, thank you,” he said before leaving the room, not giving Gerard time to answer

Gerard didn't move, he just sat still in his spot and thought about him. “Poor guy,” he mumbled before going back to what he was doing before Frank had come in.

Frank had shuffled quickly to his room, up two sets of stairs and ignoring the quiet giggling and talking coming from Mikey’s room. He closed his door behind him, flopping onto his bed and crying, just crying into his pillow. He stayed like that until he eventually fell asleep on his pillow, now wet from his tears.

In the room next to Mikey, Ray was laying in his bed, just staring at the ceiling and nothing more. Nothing interesting, no thoughts about the world ending, no thoughts about his friends, no thoughts about family, and definitely no thoughts of Mikey and Pete next door. That would be ridiculous, there is no reason that he should be even slightly bothered about the two on the other side of the bathroom between their rooms.

So why was his brain stuck on the idea of them? it upset him, quite a bit. He didn't understand why. Why they were giggling so much, why they were up so late, why he looked at him like that, why he was thinking about this.

Ray sat up, getting out of his bed and putting a jacket and jeans on before leaving his room and quietly going downstairs. He grabbed one of the nightlights from the table, Mikey had insisted on putting them everywhere, before he left the house. He shut the back door behind him quietly as he started to walk around outside, keeping his hands in his pockets and keeping himself aware of the gun in his waistband.

He walked around the enclosed yard, keeping his eye out for animals. It was a really large yard, there could be animals that he didn't know about hiding, there probably was a rabbit or squirrel hiding under the house or broken shed in the back. He didn't check though, he just walked around the yard, taking in the air. It smelt okay, there was an undertone of something rotten. There were probably undead outside of the fence, he didn't realize that they smelt so bad.

He took a cigarette out of his pocket along with a lighter, holding the cigarette to his mouth and lighting it. He put his lighter back in his pocket as he smoked the cigarette. In, hold, out, that was the process. He didn't want to waste the only cigarettes he had so he smoked it to the filter, throwing the rest of it on the floor and stomping out the burning paper. He decided to keep walking around.

Ray did a couple laps around the house, listening to the couple crickets and frogs he could hear as he walked. Once he went inside he locked the door behind him, going upstairs and to his room. Thank god, Pete and Mikey must have gone to sleep because it's quiet in their room. Ray changed out of his pants and hung his jacket up before laying in his bed once more, closing his eyes to sleep and finally sleeping.

~~~~~

(10997 words)

Chapter Text

Mikey groaned as he woke up, sitting up in place. Pete must be downstairs cause the spot next to him is empty. He sat on the bed, looking over at his dresser for a moment before getting up and going over to it, changing his clothes before leaving the room. He went downstairs but no one was there. But, did he miss someone in the bathroom upstairs? He went to check, going upstairs and checking both bathrooms. Empty. He went to Ray’s room, knocking on the door.

He didn't get an answer, he knocked again but he got nothing in response. “Ray? Are you awake? It's Mikey,” he spoke quietly, not wanting to wake Frank up in the room behind him. He didn't get an answer so he opened the door but when he looked at the room, no one was there. “What the fuck,” he started to get worried.

He went downstairs to the basement, no one in the main room, no one in the pantry, no one in the boiler room, and no one in Gerard’s room. He was really worried now, was Frank gone too? He ran up the stairs quietly, not having time to catch his breath until he got to Frank’s room.

The one room he didn't knock on. Frank was awake but Gerard wasn't, he was laying partially on Frank. Frank’s head shot up when the door opened, looking at Mikey.

“Shit..” he whispered to himself.

“Frank.” Mikey spoke sternly, “why is my brother on you?” he asked.

“Heyyyy Mikey,” he whispered, drawing out the first word, “so-”

“Don't heyyyy Mikey me, you promised you wouldn't!” he whisper shouted across the room.

“I'm not I swear, Gerard doesn't have anyone to talk to and he got stressed and came to my room,” he answered, half lying.

“You annoy me sometimes, anyways I woke up and I can't find Pete or Ray,” Mikey changed the subject.

“Alright, we will help,” Frank lightly shook Gerard, it didn't take much for him to wake up and roll off of Frank, looking at Mikey embarrassed. “Mikey needs help finding Ray and Pete,” Frank informed him.

Mikey rolled his eyes as he left the room, waiting by the front door. Gerard and Frank didn't take long to come downstairs and follow Mikey outside.

“Where are we checking?” Frank asked.

“We should check that broken shed way back, I think I remember Ray saying something about liking it,” Gerard suggested.

“Alright, we will go to the shed,” Mikey changed his direction to go to the shed.

As they came up to the shed they didn't see anyone but as they got closer two heads poked out from the side, Ray and Pete.

“What are you guys doing out here?” Ray asked.

“Looking for you idiot,” Mikey said as he went to see the two of them, Frank and Gerard following close behind

“Oh, we are fixing the shed!” he smiled.

“For what? And in this weather?” Gerard said, gesturing to the snow around them, the apocalypse did not stop natural cycles.

“I don't know, I was thinking it would be nice to have a shed in the spring, it can be where we keep seeds and stuff,” Ray shrugged, “I saw a lot of gardening boxes in the attic, we could free up space up there.”

“Okay, sure,” Gerard grabbed a tool and started helping, Mikey and Frank stared at them, not helping.

“You two gonna do anything?” Pete asked.

“Yeah, we are gonna watch,” Frank smiled, Mikey nodded.

“Cool,” Pete answered.

And they did, they did watch the other three slave away with the fixing of the fence, fixing the walls and floor. Eventually Frank got bored and left to go inside, leaving Mikey to watch. Mikey sat inside the shed, on the ground. He looked at the three of them through non fixed areas.

~~~~~

Frank was alone in the house, able to do anything he wanted and that gave him time to grab a snack from their pantry on the main floor, anything needed to be cold was kept downstairs. He took some chips, limiting himself once he got to his room. He closed his door and opened his laptop, he turned on a movie that he had downloaded to his computer

He closed his curtains with a smile as he sat in his bed and put his headphones on, watching the screen as he ate the chips slowly. He tried to relax but he couldn't, for some reason even when watching his favorite movie all alone he couldn't turn off his brain. He groaned in an annoyed tone as he powered off his computer and re-sealed the chips.

He got up again, leaving his room and returning his food to its spot before standing in place and thinking in front of the stairs leading to the basement. He put his hand on the railing and slowly went down the stairs, until he heard the front door open and he ran back upstairs. He peaked around the corner.

“Stop hiding,” Mikey looked at him from the kitchen.

“Oh, just you,” Frank was relieved.

“You still aren't going to mess around with my brother right?” Mikey asked.

“No, of course not,” Frank assured him, avoiding eye contact.

“Right. That's coming from the guy coming from downstairs,” Mikey was skeptical and Frank almost didn't blame him, almost.

Frank rolled his eyes, “I'm not gonna do anything with him, the zombies make it hard for relationships I believe,” he justified himself.

Mikey crossed his arms, “mmmhmmmm,” he glared at him, “I get to kick you in the balls if I find you with him,” he threatened.

Frank looked down, that was their deal and it had been since high school. Frank thought Mikey was joking when he brought it up for the first time but he later found out he wasnt when Mikey threatened him the third time. Frank nodded and ran up to his room.

Mikey sighed as he sat down at the table. He knew it would probably happen, most likely. Gerard had already fallen years ago and Mikey knew. He wanted someone to take care of him without treating him differently, that's all Gerard has ever really wanted and as soon as Frank started to do that Mikey saw it click. He was sure that wasn't the only reason for Gerards assumed feelings, he noticed it when Gerard was 21 and he and Frank were 18 but he was sure there had to be something before then too. Frank used to look at Gerard like a fangirl looking at her idol. Gerard used to look at Frank like the only important person.

Somewhere along the line both of those looks changed to something Mikey couldn't figure out. Mikey didn't like looking into the idea of Frank and Gerard often, they were gonna get hurt and ruin things for everyone, that's what Mikey thought. He also did not like to think about the fact that when he first found out about Frank's crush, they were 11 and Gerard was 14. Small things that he knew couldnt affect him that bad but might have weirded him out a small amount.

~~~~~

“When did you go out to do the shed?” Mikey asked, sitting on his bed while he watched Pete pace calmly.

“Sunrise, couldn't fall back to sleep and Ray asked if I wanted to help,” he shrugged, looking over at him.

“Did you guys get to know each other?” he asked, looking at the blanket on the bed.

“I’d say we talked, I know more about him now than I did yesterday?” he answered, sitting on the end of the bed.

Mikey nodded, smiling softly, “alright.”

“Something wrong with that?” he asked,tilting his head softly.

Mikey shook his head, “no i'm just.. Tired,” he spoke quietly, “sorry.”

“Go to bed Mikey,” Pete said, looking over at him with a soft look.

“Nah, I’m making christmas gifts,” he was doing stuff on a computer, typing and clicking.

Pete stared at the laptop, “how is that thing not dead?”

“Gerard never told us what we can and can't use the generator for, I use it to charge battery packs,” he giggled, continuing to work.

“Damn, how long until he says something about it?”

“Probably in the spring when we all need to shower more,” they had been limited to two showers a week but they all knew that number would have to be raised once it started to get hot out again.

“Ew.”

“But true,” Mikey nodded, grabbing something from next to him, some medium sized box that he plugged into his computer.

Pete moved to sit next to Mikey against the headboard, laying his head on Mikey’s shoulder. He watched him work, printing things out. “What are you making?”

“That is none of your business,” Mikey chuckled, setting his computer next to the bed, half open and still doing stuff. “Are you gonna make the others gifts?”

“I don't have anything to do it with,” Pete complained.

“I can try to get you stuff,” Mikey offered, looking at him.

“Alright, I’ll figure something out,” he smiled lightly, “thank you,” he spoke quietly.

“Of course,” Mikey stated, staring at Pete for far longer than he intended to. Once he looked away he had hoped that Pete hadn't noticed his weird gaze.

But he had, and he spoke up about it. “What was that about?”

“Huh?” Mikey looked over at him again, unsure what he ment.

“That weird look you just gave me,” Pete chuckled, sounding like he might have been slightly joking, maybe.

“Oh sorry, I guess I zoned out or something.”

“I feel like that is bullshit,” Pete challenged his excuse

Mikey groaned and rolled his eyes, “fuck off im just, thinking,” he trailed off as he laid back more, forcing Pete to sit up as Mikey slid down sideways.

Pete giggled, “you look dumb,” he joked, looking at Mikey as he laid with his upper body almost perpendicular to his lower body.

“I know,” he rolled his eyes as he sat up.

“How are your eyes not stuck?” Pete asked, squinting like he was trying to figure it out.

“What do you mean?” Pete's question had confused Mikey, he wasn't sure what the shorter man was talking about.

“I mean you just roll your eyes so much you would think that your eyes would get stuck or something,” Pete joked, laughing when Mikey punched him on the arm, not hard.

“That's so dumb, shut up,” Mikey couldn't help but to smile though, satisfied with where he was for the first time in a while.

Pete laughed and did end up shutting up, leaving Mikey with no other option than to stare at him again, taking in his features and traits. Pete noticed this and it unnerved him the way that Mikey would stare at him and never give him a good reason why. He let the weird boy stare though, not sure if he was looking at him or threw him but either way Pete tried not to care.

The shorter of the two just examined the room around him from where he was, even if he had looked at it a bunch.

“Want to watch a movie?” Pete asked, feeling awkward about the gaze he was receiving from Mikey.

That snapped him out of his thoughts, “oh uh, sure hold on,” Mikey spoke as he grabbed his computer and unplugged it from the box, going to his downloads to find a movie, “what do you want to watch?” he asked.

“How about this one?” Pete pointed at the screen and Mikey clicked on it, nodding as he sat against where his headboard would be, letting Pete cuddle into his side.

They watched the movie until Mikey had noticed Pete asleep on him, that's when Mikey paused the movie and closed the device, taking away any light in the room.

He attempted to move so that he, and Pete, would be more comfortable but he couldn't because Pete almost woke up. So he just slept, uncomfortably until some time in the night when they must have moved cause Pete woke up in the middle night with his arms around Mikey’s waist and Mikey’s arms around his shoulders but he fell back asleep anyways.

~~~~~

Gerard woke up in his bed, what the hell. He looked at the walls of his apartment in confusion. How did he get here? How is he here? It's not possible, it can't be. He got out of his bed and ran to Mikey’s room, he was sleeping soundly in his bed. This wasn't right.

He ran across the hall to Frank and Ray’s apartment, running to Frank’s room to find him playing video games.

“Hey dude, what's up?” he turned to Gerard, taking off his headset once he noticed the panic on Gerard’s face. “Woah Gee, you're looking pale, come sit down”

Gerard took him up on that offer cause he could hardly contain his thoughts, what the fuck is happening.

“Dude what's going on?” Frank asked again, worried.

“Fucking- I don’t- im- im not sure what to say,” Gerard stuttered, peaking out Frank’s window.

“Start from the beginning,” Frank reminded him, taking Gerards hand and rubbing it softly. That was as close as they would ever get at home.

Home

Gerard is home
Home.

“It was on movie night, it was your turn but you told me to chose cause I was scared of the sickness going around and like 20 or 30 minutes into the movie we started to hear lots of guns and screaming and then the tv went red and told us that the apocalypse had come and there were zombies everywhere. We fled to Mikey and I’s cabin in Michigan and we had been there for months, it was almost christmas!” Gerard seemed to be freaking himself out more.

This wasn't right.

This was some sick prank.

“Are you feeling okay Gerard? My turn isn't until tomorrow for movie night and christmas isn't for months?” Frank was confused by Gerard’s anxious rant.

“What..”

“It was probably just a fucked up dream, you should go back to bed.”

And suddenly Gerard was back in bed, but it was morning now. Weird, maybe he had a panic attack and didn't remember Frank taking him back across the hall.

Left the room, in the living room was Ray and Mikey making popcorn, Frank sitting on the pull out couch.

Gerard was creeped out but he played along with the past, sitting down on his spot on the couch and tilting his head back, closing his eyes.

“Why were you in your room so long?” Frank asked, staring daggers into him.

“Listening to music or something, I don't remember,” he didn't care if his answer was the same as before, this wasn't real.

Before Frank could protest, Ray and Mikey ast down with the popcorn. And thirty minutes came along with the gunshots and Frank looked at Gerard.

“The fuck is that?” Mikey asked, going up to the window and looking out it, Ray following behind.

“Zombies,” Gerard stated.

“Come on man i'm being serious.” Mikey turned to Gerard and rolled his eyes.

Gerard counted down on his fingers and when he nodded the tv turned red. “Yeah, okay this isn't real, no way in hell.”

“Dude shut up we need to get out of here,” Ray sounded panicked.

“I'm not falling for it, this isn't real.”

“Gerard dont be like that,” Mikey looked at him with a stern facial expression.

“What Mikes, im telling the truth, this isn't real,”

“Did you take your meds this morning Gee?” Mikey asked.

“Shut up this literally isn't real.”

A zombie broke through the door, charged past Gerard and right at Mikey and Ray. Gerard watched as everyone shouted and screamed, the zombie attacking and biting Ray who fell to the floor, worrying Gerard. This can't be real

“Gerard do something!” Mikey yelled to him, looking to his older brother to save him. Instead Gerard was frozen, this wasn't real. Gerard had to be imagining this.

Frank dragged Gerard to the corner, standing in front of him but stopping when Gerard tried to stand in front of him.

Next the zombie attacked Mikey as he was making a run for Gerard. Mikey had already been crying but the bite hurt even more. And that zombie took Mikey to the ground, taking his time with him while he screamed and tried to escape.

Tears threatened Gerards eyes but he didnt let it scare him. It wasn't real, right?

He was starting to doubt himself when he looked over by the window where Ray was clutching onto his side, hardly holding onto consciousness. Mikey was now crying silently on the floor as the Zombie ripped at his back. Gerard watched while Frank hugged him tightly, crying silently into his shoulder.

“Gee help…” Mikey managed to mutter out before he went unconscious.

Frank let go of Gerard and stood in front of him, blocking the zombie from him. And without hesitation the zombie growled and lunged at him, biting Frank in the neck. He let out a pained cry and that caused Gerard to let his tears spill. He couldn't do anything but stand still, watching the zombie kill him. Rip at his neck. “Gee.. I- I lo…” Frank was cut off by the life fading from his eyes. Then the zombie just got up and left.

This feels way too real now. Gerard fell to his knees and looked at his friends bleeding out on the floor. He crawled to Frank, holding him in his arms, letting his blood soak his clothes. He cried, sobbed over his body, holding him and looking over at the other two. He placed a kiss on Frank’s nose and then his cheek, littering kisses all over his face as he sobbed.

“I'm so sorry I didn't keep you safe…” he muttered before dropping Frank's body gently before crawling over to Ray and Mikey’s body’s, holding Mikey’s. He held him tight and close, “I'm so sorry, so so sorry.”

He sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed for what felt like hours. Mikey was right, he was crazy and it had just costed him the lives of some of the only people he cared about

And then he woke up, in his bed in the middle of the woods. He shot up in his bed, drenched in sweat with his hair stuck to his forehead. He wiped his face off and noticed his very fast breathing. Are they alive?

Gerard left his bed quickly, running upstairs and quietly peeking into Mikey’s room, seeing him and Pete together, safe. He shut the door and went down the hall to Ray’s room, opening the door and looking in, he was sleeping, safe.

Gerard shut the door and rushed over to Frank’s door, taking a deep breath before opening the door. Frank was sleeping, peacefully. That should be the end of this check right? Wrong.

Gerard walked into the room and kneeled next to his bed, sighing as he let tears well up in his eyes before dropping with small plops onto the floor. He let himself cry on Frank’s bedroom floor, inches away from him as he slept.

Gerard stayed there for quite a while, just crying and occasionally laying his head on Frank’s bed, watching him breathe, making sure he was alive. Making sure he was breathing, making sure he was safe. Making sure Gerard had kept him safe.

~~~~~

Ray was reading on the couch, early in the morning. He was reading some sort of love story book that had been on one of the couple, old bookshelves littered around the house. Apparently all of the Way family likes to read.

It got boring in the house, alone even if there were other people in the house they were trapped in. Pete and Mikey were busy making gifts and playing games. Gerard had been weirdly close to Frank all day, following him and making gifts with him as well. Technically Ray could join any of them but he felt they were busy.

He had already finished all of his gifts, he had lots of free time to himself. He really didn't mind, it gave him time to think, and walk, that was about it though. He was bored and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Hey Ray?” a voice called down from upstairs, followed by feet running down the stairs. It was Mikey. He stood in the living room doorway, looking a bit ancy. “Did you happen to bring or know of a guitar or bass?” he asked a bit quietly.

At first Ray was excited, Mikey was talking to him! But that excitement was slowly crushed when Mikey had asked him that question. He had tried teaching Mikey but it was years ago and he couldn't figure out the guitar.

“Oh uh, yeah, Frank put most of his instruments under the stairs in the basement and I think he said something about finding some other ones under there too, he might have mentioned a trumpet too but i'm not sure,” he added on the unnecessary information, rambling more than he wanted to.

“Oh okay, thank you,” he said with a smile before running downstairs to find stuff before Ray could answer.

~~~~~

The living room had been lazily decorated for Christmas, unlike the rest of the house. Mikey had found one box of decorations while looking under the stairs. All of the presents were sitting next to the tv stand or on it, either in a box or bag of some sort. They were all sitting in the living room, Mikey, Pete, and Frank sharing the big couch while Gerard and Ray were sitting on the two comfy chairs.

“Open mine first!” Frank suggested happily, looking at Mikey who was closest to the gifts.

Mikey chuckled and grabbed the pile of presents that was his, grabbing a present with Frank’s name on it in bold black writing. He unwrapped it and smiled at the slightly worn band tee that must have had a tear in the shoulder because Frank had done what he always did with tears and used red thread to stitch it like how you would stitch a wound in a cartoon, unnecessary but appealing. “Thank you Frank, where did you find this?” he asked with a hint of excitement in his voice.

“It was in an old building when we went into that town,” Frank said with a smile, happy that Mikey liked it.

Everyone else opened Frank’s first too, Pete also getting a worn tee that had the side stitched up, Ray had gotten a scrapbook with a bunch of pictures of their group with some having friends that were no longer with them, and Gerard had gotten a cd with a printed out album cover on the case of it.

Ray wanted to be next so everyone opened up those presents next, Pete was given a jacket, and Gerard was given a cd much like the one that Frank had gotten him but a different band. When Mikey looked inside the bag given to him his eyes went wide and he shut the bag quickly, looking up at Ray with a soft smile and a nod. No one asked what that was about.

Mikey went next, Pete getting an ipod with a couple songs on it, Frank was given a cd collection case which was over half full with CDs, Ray was given a purple ipod with a long list of songs on it, and Gerard was given a cd player.

Pete was next but not by choice, he had fought with Gerard a bit about who got to go last. Mikey got a sweatshirt with a heart sewn into where the heart would be on a person which covered a tear in the fabric, Frank was given a makeshift plant waterer, Ray was given a set of earbuds, and Gerard was given earbuds as well.

Finally was Gerard who avoided eye contact as everyone opened their gifts. Mikey got a handmade hat, Pete got socks, Frank got what looked to be a hand made flower pot, and Ray got a CD.

Once they were done opening presents, Frank made them play uno again, for a long time. Gerard wasn't with them because he was in the kitchen due to him insisting on making a “christmas dinner” for everyone. Once the first round of uno had ended, Gerard had finished dinner and had brought them each a plate of a mix of thanksgiving and christmas looking food. They played another round of their game as they ate.

All five of them left to their rooms at the same time, cleaning up together and bringing their gifts with them after their long enjoyable night.

~~~~~

“So…” Pete said quietly, sitting on one side of the bed with his gathering of things next to him on the floor, “are we going to talk about what Ray got you?”

Mikey looked over at him from the closet where he was organizing things in storage spaces. “No,” he said before turning back to his closet.

Pete frowned, “was it really that bad?” he asked.

“No, it's just something private that I had talked to him about,” he said as calmly as he could before closing his closet and walking over to the bed, grabbing a book from his nightstand and sitting on his side of the bed.

“Come on, it's not like it's a dildo or something,” Pete rolled his eyes.

“Dude!” Mikey looked over at him with a disgusted looking expression.

“What! I mean I won't judge if it is?”

Mikey covered his face, “oh my god.. Just shut up.”

~~~~~

Frank was happily putting one of his favorite plants into the pot that Gerard had gifted him. He left his room and snuck downstairs to the basement, grabbing a couple empty tupperware from under the stairs and struggled to bring them through the house. He was plenty capable of doing it but it was awkward to bring through the house and out the back door. He set the four totes down in the lawn, looking up at the clouds which looked to be giving off a slight flurry before he ran back inside.

He shivered once he got inside, running up the stairs to his room, closing the door behind himself and jumping onto his bed with a smile. He stared at the ceiling with a smile, squirming slightly.

He was excited due to the presents he received and handed out. He was happy that everyone seemed to like his gifts.

Downstairs Gerard was in his room, laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. He wasn't excited, he was very upset actually. His breath was too fast and the air was too thick. He couldn't think of anything other than how much of a failure he was. The ringing in his ears was so loud that he couldn't tell if there was no other noise because the ringing was too loud or if everyone was just quiet. His eyes didn't move but his mind panned to the closet, imagining him standing by it and going through it, flashes of an idea that Gerard knew well but didn't know if it would be good to execute.

Gerard sat up in his bed, ideas too loud and thoughts too quiet. Ideas that everyone thought he was stupid for his gifts. Ideas that somehow everyone in the house hates him. Ideas that Frank was mad at him for relapsing. Ideas that he should relapse. Ideas to go over to his closet and reach under the third drawer. Ideas to do it even though he knew he shouldn't. He stood up and started to walk to his closet.

His door opened.

Gerard shot his head over to his open door, the light from the nightlight that Frank had in his hands made Gerard realize he had tears in his eyes which he tried to rapidly blink away before Frank’s eyes made their way to him which didn't take long.

“Hey dude can I borrow your cd player, I know you just got it but-” he paused when his eyes met Gerard’s, taking a step inside the cold room. “Are you okay?”

Gerard looked away and wiped his eyes, walking over to where he had put the stuff he got as he sniffled, “yeah, yeah sorry you can borrow it,” he said as he picked up the device.

“Gee what's wrong,” Frank said as he set his light on the nightstand next to Gerards bed.

Gerard froze, god dammit. “I'm sorry for worrying you, here” he ignored the question, handing him the device and sitting on the end of his bed.

“Gerard,” Frank rested a hand on Gerards arm, “come on, don't dodge the question,” he added.

Gerard stayed quiet for a moment, looking down at his blankets. “I'm sorry, everyone found or made useful or cool stuff and I-...” he stopped talking due to a voice crack as he tried to keep his composure.

“What do you mean? Your gifts were sweet! I already put one of my plants in the pot you gave me and I heard Pete asking Mikey why he didn't want to take his hat off, your gifts were wonderful and we all liked them,” he assured him.

“Thanks…” he sniffled quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“I mean it Gee,” he rubbed his arm softly, “hold on, i'll be right back,” Frank said before he got up and ran upstairs.

Gerard wanted to go to his closet, wanted to give in but he knew he probably didn't have the time because not long after Frank came back with his binder of cd’s and grabbed the cd player, putting a cd in it and turning the volume up slightly so the music could fill the room but not the house. Frank went back to the bed and sat next to Gerard.

“Come on, listen with me,” Frank smiled at him softly before falling back onto the bed, laying and staring at the ceiling.

Gerard hesitantly layed down not far from him and within a couple minutes Gerards brain had turned off and he was asleep, curling up next to Frank. Frank smiled softly at him before he got up and stopped the music, returning the disk to its spot in his folder. He took the black binder with him as he left Gerard alone and asleep.

~~~~~

It had been about two days since christmas and Ray, Mikey, and Frank were walking through the woods. They had agreed on the three of them going to explore and loot. The snow made it easy to find footprints and that was the only reason that Gerard let them go, that and they needed someone to stay with Pete because he wasn't ready to go out, Mikey's words not his.

They walked with their bags, looking back at Gerard who was still standing in the gate and probably would until he couldn't see them. Gerard was told that they would try to be back within a couple hours but could probably be out for a day or two if they are as isolated as they think they are.

They walked for a long time, a few hours before they even found life and it wasn't really life. It was a small group of zombies that were stuck in the snow, Frank hesitated as he stabbed them a few times. They didn't want to alert anything nearby and Frank happened to be the only one with a knife. It was more gross having to wipe his knife off on his pant leg.

After that they continued to walk like everything was normal even if they were on edge. They went through the woods and looked for any possibility of people or a town but couldn't find any. The forest was strangely quiet, eerie yet peaceful.

“Twenty questions, I'm thinking of an object,” Frank blurted out quietly, wanting to break the silence.

“Is it blue?” Ray asked after a while of silence.

“Nope, Mikey?” he turned to him as they walked.

“Uh, is it seen in a house?” Mikey asked.

“Yes,” Frank rolled his eyes, lucky guess.

“Is it in a bedroom usually?” Ray asked, adjusting his bag on his back.

“Yes,” Frank grumbled.

“A bed?” Mikey asked.

“No,” Frank smiled.

“Is it big?” Ray asked.

“Not typically,” Frank answered

“Yes or no,”

“No,”

“Notebook?” Mikey guessed, confused.

“Six guesses left,” Frank chuckled.

“Is it found in other rooms besides a bedroom?” Ray asked.

“Yes,” he smiled in response.

“I think that made it harder,” Mikey groaned, “is it small?”

“It can be”

“The fuck you mean it can be?”

“It can be,” Frank shrugged, “your question is flawed.”

“Ugh, I need one of those aha lightbulb moments,” Mikey joked.

Frank giggled nervously.

“Lightbulb!” Ray said, not quite shouting because of their environment.

“Ray won,” Frank said simply, trying not to show that he was a decently sore loser at times.

“Wow, I forgot those were a real thing that existed,” Mikey said, looking in front of him as he walked.

“How did you say the word and forget what it means?” Ray asked him.

“Look, I'm not very smart, you all think I am but I’m not,” he rolled his eyes in response, crossing his arms

“Whatever you say, Mr. I have electronics in the apocalypse,” Frank teased.

“What can I say, Gerard rubbed off on me, I simply adapted” Mikey ignored the rest of Frank’s teasing and Ray’s giggles. God how he loved that noise. Shit, would it be better to answer Frank’s teasing or Ray’s giggles for the question of which noise.

~~~~~

Back at home, Gerard was internally freaking out and Pete was just looking at him awkwardly as they panicked a bit. Gerard because what if they didn't return or something worse. Pete because he didn't know what to do about Gerard, it was more of a minor freak out than a panic attack cause he was eventually able to calm Gerard down and sit him on the couch until he fell asleep.

I'd say it's going well.

~~~~~

Around two more hours went by before Frank spotted something up ahead, being ahead of the group because since Ray complained about them walking too slow, Frank had made a point to always be ahead of both of them.

Frank quickly ran back to the both of them, “quiet, I see a town up ahead, or at least a few buildings,” he spoke quietly. They had found out earlier that the snow might have muted noises quite a bit, if you listened with no noise it carried the sound. So they walked quietly towards the back of a building.

Once they got to the back they checked everything they had, made sure each of them had a med kit and water and some food of some sort. Once they all put their bags back on and took out their weapons, they crept around the building and looked around the town quietly, motioning to each other to different buildings. Ray walked in one of the buildings, on edge when he heard a noise. He motioned for the other two to come inside for backup and so they did. They all crammed themselves in one tiny area with one target and bullets, good idea.

Wrong.

They knew that was wrong when they saw a zombie pounce out from a door in the back and no one had a clear shot at it. Ray was too close, and both Mikey and Frank had been yelling at him about it. Frank was yelling something else but it was drowned out by Ray getting cut on the arm by the undead creature. If felt like everything had stopped, it felt like a year before they all regained consciousness but it was really seconds between the scratch and Frank jumping onto the zombie and stabbing it through its temple and twisting the knife until the zombie fell beneath him and he dropped to Ray’s side.

“Fuck fuck,” he looked at the gash with an already infected sort of look, “fuck!” he yelled as he wrapped Rays arm below his elbow to cut off circulation and then at his wrist. He wiped his knife off on his pants while Mikey sat down next to Ray, obviously panicked.

“Fuck dude, that looks really bad,” Ray said with a panic in his voice.

“I can cut it out..?” Frank said, making Mikey smack him on the head, “ow. It's either we do that and we have a chance of saving him or he dies and might kill us,” Frank said in an annoyed voice.

“Sure man, do whatever I'm sure the pain cant be worse than it is already, just do it quick,” Ray mumbled with his eyes closed, he had started groaning from the pain. He was wrong about it not getting worse

Frank took a disinfectant wipe and wiped off his knife before holding it up to the decent cut on the back of Ray’s arm. “Fuck, okay,” Frank whispered before he started cutting a gash into Ray, trying to carve the cut out of him before it infected him too much. He winced as a bit of pus came out as he did it.

He gagged, looking the other way.

“Dude focus!” Mikey shouted a bit too loudly at him.

“Sorry I'm sorry I'm trying!” he shouted back before looking back at the arm and cutting the rest of it out, throwing the chunk of skin behind him before watching as blood gushed out of his arm. Frank shoved his fingers in the gash, it was painful and nasty but necessary to stop the bleeding.

Ray had his other arm up to his mouth, biting it to muffle his screams, which was working pretty well.

This was why Gerard made them pack a ridiculous amount of gauze, luckily one thing that listening to Gerard does is give you lots of random knowledge that is helpful in these scenarios.

Frank took the gauze and hesitated before shoving it in the wound until it was taller than where his arm stopped. After that he tightly wrapped medical tape around his arm so the gauze would be packed in as tight as he could. It hurt so terribly.

When it stopped and they looked up at Ray’s face he looked very alive but he had tears down the side of his face as he blinked away more and breathed as calm as he could. He looked like he was about to pass out.

Mikey got up and cleared the back room of the building, “dude, let's try to get him to this backroom and we can watch him,” he suggested.

“Lock ourselves in a room with a possible zombie? Sure, let's do that,” Frank replied as he helped Ray up and helped him walk into the employee room in the back, laying him on the couch.

Mikey shut and locked the door behind him, locking them all in the small room. “So.. looks like we are going for that two day option?” Mikey spoke quietly.

“I suppose so,” Frank sighed. Ray was on the line between being awake and asleep from pain.

They both avoided looking at him for too long as they waited for him to hopefully not turn into a zombie.

~~~~~

Mikey had somehow fallen asleep but Frank was awake the whole night until sunrise when he woke Mikey up. Mikey woke up with a quiet gasp before he rubbed his eyes and looked at Frank, calming down a bit.

“It doesn't look like he turned,” Mikey mumbled.

“It's light out, we have to either start walking back or start looting,” Frank said, avoiding Mikey’s comment.

“Alright, do you think Ray would be fine if we left him here while we loot?” Mikey asked quietly.

Frank shrugged, “I'm sure he's tired, let's go,” Frank said as he gestured to the door while opening it.

Mikey followed him out of the room and around the town, stuffing their bags with any decent items they could find. By the time they made it back to the small room they had stayed in, Ray was still asleep.

They had to wake him up. Mikey carried Ray’s bag as they walked out of the town and followed their steps back the way they came.

~~~~~

Gerard had been waiting by the gate, freezing his ass off as he peeked through the cracks as best he could. He had been freaking out since last night, staying up all night by pacing his room. He didn't get an ounce of sleep and it was clear that Pete didn't get much more than Gerard. They both stood by the gate for most of the day, switching to sitting when Pete brought out chairs.

It wasn't until the sun had already passed the “middle point” in the sky, that they saw people walking slowly in the distance and at that, Gerard shoved the gate open and they both ran towards the group of people.

It was Frank, Mikey, and Ray but they seemed different, more tired. Gerard made it half way when he slowed down slightly, putting an arm out to signal to Pete for them to slow. They noticed a huge bandage on Ray’s arm which looked to be bleeding through. He was between Frank and Mikey, holding onto them for support for some reason. He looked feverish and both Frank and Mikey looked terrified.

“Shit dude, Ray might have gotten bit..” Pete spoke quietly before he started to run again, prepared to help them.

Gerard fought with himself before running after him. They made it to the three of them and Ray looked like he was fighting to stay awake, so did Frank and Mikey though.

“What the hell happened?” Gerard said, not raising his voice but sounding upset. He took Ray from the two of them, letting Ray use him for support.

“Zombie, cut, different kind of cut, and tired,” Mikey said tiredly, holding onto Pete a little more than he wanted to.

Frank had his head down as he walked and his eyes closed, trusting that he wouldn't run into anything.

Gerard frowned, not saying anything as he listened to his mind race on what could have happened and what could happen while they all walked back. Pete shoved the gate closed and locked it before following behind all of them with Mikey holding onto his arm slightly and holding onto Frank with the other.

Frank walked like he was almost asleep and only using his brain for breathing, pumping blood, and walking.

Once they had all gotten inside they laid Ray on the couch while Gerard went to grab a first aid kit. Pete sat Mikey and Frank down on the comfy chairs across from the couch and instead of falling asleep, Frank woke up more than he had been. Now that he wasn't walking he was wide awake and staring at Ray’s arm. Mikey fell asleep quickly.

Gerard came back with the first aid kit and knelt down next to Ray’s arm. “Pete, can you go grab some of the protein bars from the room downstairs and some water? They are old but they will work to get these three healthier, and I might need a towel too,” he looked over at Pete, watching him nod and run off. Gerard waited till Pete got back to turn back to Ray’s arm. “This is gonna hurt..” he mumbled to himself.

Ray was hardly awake, so tired from the sudden stress and all of the walking.

Gerard unwrapped his arm, pulling the gauze out of his wound and causing it to start bleeding a bit more in parts spots that had just scabbed or were almost scabbed. Gerard winced at the small gash in his arm, grabbing a medical disinfectant wipe and wiping the gash and around it while Ray groaned in pain.

Gerard took a needle, the smallest he could find, and put thread through it. It would work but it would be painful. He wiped the blood a bit more before starting the stitching. in, through, loop, pull, repeat. He did the best he could, tying it off at the end and wrapping a bandage around the stitches. He put a blanket over Ray, covering him to his shoulders in case he wanted to sleep, which he probably would. He grabbed a painkiller of some strong kind and mixed it in with a small amount of water before forcing Ray to drink it, giving him one of the protein bars that Pete had grabbed.

Gerard cleaned up the stuff around him, throwing the old bandages away and putting the rest of the still useful stuff in the kit before setting it on the tv stand.

He turned around, expecting to see Mikey and Frank sleeping with Pete somewhere near them but Mikey and Pete must have gone off to their room because just Frank was left. He wasn't sleeping, just, staring? Staring at Ray.

“Hey dude, you okay?” he looked at Frank.

He didn't answer, blinking once or twice.

“Frank, can you hear me?” nothing. “Frankie..?” he knelt down in front of him.

Frank jumped slightly, startled, “what, oh yeah, i'm alright,” he sounded tired, words slightly slurred.

“Can I walk you to your room?” he asked quietly in return.

“Um..” Frank looked over at Gerard but it was more like through him, “no…”

Gerard thought for a second, “why?”

“Too many stairs,” he mumbled, yawning.

“I can carry you, but not upstairs,” Gerard said as he also yawned. That whole seeing someone yawn makes you yawn thing is weird, but partly true.

“Why,” Frank complained.

“Because I stayed up all night worrying about you guys, I was right to worry,” he rolled his eyes.

“Well if we go to your room I can walk, I can go down, I just don't want to go up,” Frank chuckled.

“Alright, come on, Ray will be okay,” Gerard said calmly, “just go down to my room and i'll ask Pete to keep an eye on him.”

Frank nodded and got up, tiredly walking down the hall and into Gerards room while Gerard went upstairs and knocked on Mikey's door before lightly pushing it open.

Mikey looked almost asleep as he laid next to Pete who was sitting upright, Gerard didn't look at Mikey. “Hey, can you check on Ray every couple minutes or something? He's sleeping now but Frank and I are going to my room and I have a hunch that something is definitely not okay with Frank and I don't think I'll have time to go back and forth,” he watched as Pete nodded and signaled for him to leave. Gerard went down to his own room, finding Frank laying on one side of the bed just staring.

He shut the door behind himself, going over and quietly sitting on the bed next to him. “What happened ..?” he asked, looking over at Frank who covered his face with his hands.

“It was a loooong walk,” he mumbled, “when we finally found a town we were trying to be safe, have one person go in and call in the others once they cleared it or if they heard something, Ray heard something but no one could get the shot cause the store was too small and it risked hitting one of us.” he stopped talking like he would stop the story there.

“And then..?” Gerard asked quietly.

“It scratched him before I got to stab it, the cut looked infected and I remembered what you had said about if there was a way to stop someone from turning it would be-..” he paused, “so I did and I stayed up all night watching him incase he turned..” he turned his head to look at Gerard, eyes not quite focusing on the man beside him. “I um, killed two zombies so uhm, that's… yeah..”

“Are you alright?” Gerard asked quietly.

“I'm not sure..” Frank mumbled in return.

“There should be enough hot water for a decent shower? You can use the bathroom down here if you want to maybe relax for a bit?” he offered.

“Eh, I don't think I have clean clothes so I don't think I will,” Frank was weird about showers, even if he had just put on clothes to walk to the bathroom without flashing everyone, he wouldn't put the clothes back on after, he would put on new clothes even if the ones from before were fresh from the laundry basket. But he would wear the same clothes for multiple days without realizing it.

“You can just borrow some of mine or Mikey’s, you're going to ask if you want his clothes though,” Gerard rolled his eyes, standing up and walking over to his dresser and opening the drawers to find something to fit him.

“I don't know man…” Frank watched Gerard.

“Don't think about it, just shower. You smell like a zombie,” he said, pulling out a shirt and pants and setting them on the bed.

Frank just nodded and took the clothes with him to the bathroom, locking himself in.

~~~~~

Gerard was looking through the couple cd’s he had, about to play one while Frank watched from the bed, laying on his side.

“Are you doing alright?’ Gerard asked as he clicked play on the device before going back to the bed, sitting a bit away from Frank.

“Im not sure…”

“Would you like to tell me why?”

Frank stayed laying away from Gerard, Gerard sitting upright next to him and gazing over. “I had to shove my fingers in a giant gash that I made,” his voice shook lightly, “I killed two creatures that used to have a life..” he sounded like he was crying.

“Oh, I get it,” Gerard understood right away, he had only done medical work for his stupid friends in high school and early college and that wasn't a life or death situation. He does remember the first time, his friend had ate shit on his skateboard and had a giant chunk that got taken from his leg and Gerard had to brush the gravel out of the blood quickly and shove his hand over the exposed nerves. His friend had punched him. “I'm so sorry you had to do that alone Frankie, I would've done it for you if I was there.”

Frank didn't know how to answer.

And so they laid in Gerards bed until Frank fell asleep which is when Gerard carried him to his own bed before returning to his room.

~~~~~

Ray woke up with a groan in the night, sitting up on the couch and looking out the dark window. He got up slowly, holding onto his arm. It was feeling better than before but it still didn't feel great. He slowly went upstairs, walking tiredly. While he was walking, Mikey’s door opened and he stepped out of the room, making eye contact with Ray.

“Hey, I was just about to check on you, are you okay? How are you feeling?” he shut the door behind himself, walking up to Ray and stopping a bit away from him. Mikey looked groggy like he had woken up a couple minutes ago.

“I'm alright, sore, tired,” he answered, glancing away for a moment.

“Yeah, do you need anything?” Mikey asked quietly.

Ray shook his head, “no I’m alright.”

“Okay, let me know if you need anything,” he said with a small smile before going to his room again, Ray nodding but him not seeing it.

Ray went the rest of the way to his room, looking in Mikey’s room as he passed before the door was closed. He had seen a glimpse of Pete, cuddled on Mikey’s usual side of the bed with all of the blanket cuddled in his arms and wrapped around him. It made Ray pause for a moment, a hardly noticeable moment where his brain did a small reboot.

He was really stuck on that, the idea of both of them crammed on one side of the bed, close. He thought about it while he closed himself in his room and laid flat on his bed.

~~~~~

“I hate you,” Ray grunted while leaning back in his chair, his arm on the table as Gerard changed his bandages.

“No you don't,” he rolled his eyes with a slight smile on his face.

“You're right,” he winced as Gerard cleaned his arm. “Maybe you should come with next time,” he joked

“They won't be able to convince me not to, I left you guys alone for less than 24 hours” Gerard chuckled as he spoke, “I should have come with.”

“It's alright, now we know that we cant leave Mikey and Frank alone cause they cause trouble,” Ray chuckled.

“You were the one that got hurt?”

“They have dangerous auras or something I don't know.”

“That's not very nice,” Mikey said as he walked down the hall to the kitchen from downstairs with food. Frank was following behind him with more ingredients.

“Yeah Ray, that's not very nice,” Frank said, sticking his tongue out at him and setting the rest of the stuff on the counter as they started to make food.

“Whatever, it's the truth,” Ray turned to them, glancing at his arm to see Gerard finishing the bandages.

“Quite the predicament you're in,” Gerard chuckled as he cleaned up the space around him.

Ray turned around in his seat, staring at Frank and Mikey as they cooked, Ignoring anything that Gerard had said.

“Can one of you two go get Pete? Food is almost done,” Frank asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I'll get him,” Gerard said before grabbing the medical stuff he had brought downstairs. He went upstairs for a bit, returning with Pete not far behind him.

They all sat at the table while Mikey dished out the food, a decent amount.

“Woah, not an MRE or canned?” Pete looked at the food, confused about where they got it.

“The beans were canned,” Frank said, looking up at him as he ate.

“Thank you,” Ray said as he ate, causing Gerard and Pete to also thank them.

They all ate, a couple of them glancing at the calendar on the wall that someone had picked up while they were out. Frank was the one who found it while they were out, when he saw it was the right year for the upcoming months he knew it would probably keep them a bit more sane, that was the idea at least. Gerard enjoyed filling out the next week with what they were gonna do and what days they would eat dinner. Now that they were a while into the apocalypse they were running low on non canned items and they had all decided it would be better if they ate breakfast everyday and dinner every other day.

It was almost the new year, most of them didn't care but Gerard for some reason was a small bit excited. It was that night, they found out recently that the satellites were still in the sky, I'm sure with everything else the government doest have time for the astronauts. Any clock that was a satellite clock still said the right time and satellite phones still worked.

How did they find all of these things out? Frank and Mikey had been keeping radios on in their rooms, Frank changing the stations on his and Mikey doing some weird computer shit to constantly shuffle radio stations and stop when it recognizes something other than static. During the night, somewhere around 2 am, both of their radios had been on the same station at the same time and they both heard the emergency broadcast start again, repeating a long chain of words that Frank kind of understood but Mikey was able to understand and write it down. It constantly tells you about satellites, but didnt say anything more on that matter, and then it tells you the date which is helpful, they found that it also tells you when it's midday and midnight.

Mikey was the one that realized that satellites mean good things. “So, I think I'm close to fixing those satellite phones. Did you two ever check your phones?” Mikey asked, looking at Ray and Gerard.

Ray always said that he had never gotten around to upgrading his phone and Gerard liked having a satellite phone cause he said it was “less of a distraction.”

“Mine works fine, technically it was new when the apocalypse started,” Gerard said as he finished his food.

“I think mine is dead, can you charge it?” Ray asked, looking at Mikey.

Mikey nodded as he took the dirty dishes from the table and put them in the sink.

It was a couple hours until midnight so Frank had brought down some board games and uno because even though he had not won a single game since the world went to shit, he wanted to win finally.

He didn't win by the time it turned midnight when they all cheered, not sure what else to do but going back to playing games.

~~~~~

The next week was boring, Gerard hardly came out of his room, no one wanted to bother him so they left him alone. Frank and Ray spent time together, mostly talking about music or practicing their instruments. Mikey and Pete spent most of their time doing who knows what in Mikey's room or outside.

This day was different though, Mikey was forcing Pete and Ray to hang out because it was always “awkward” when the three of them hung out, according to Mikey. So that means Mikey and Frank were hanging out.

“Hey Mikey,” Frank said as they walked around the yard.

“Yeah?” He responded, looking over at him.

“Has Gerard talked to you at all?” he asked in a quiet voice, kind of worried.

“Not really, why?” he answered, looking in front of them.

“I don't know, since this all started he's been really close with people but I haven't heard anything from him other than dinner,” he frowned.

“I don't know, he hasn't talked to me much since this all started so I wouldn't know,” Mikey answered.

“Oh,” he said quietly, picking at the skin on his fingers as they walked.

They did laps around the house, close to the fence. It was cold out and there was quite a bit of snow but by the fence there was an area of snow that was packed down from being walked on.

“He was only being close with you,” Mikey said, keeping his head facing forward.

“What do you mean?” Frank asked, looking over at him.

“I mean that Gerard was distancing himself from everyone except you,” he said, like it was obvious. It was obvious but Frank hadn't picked up on it.

“Oh, I guess I didn't notice, I'm sorry.”

“It's alright, he gets like this sometimes,” Mikey said as he shrugged.

Frank stayed quiet for the rest of their walk, he felt terrible that he didn't realize it sooner. Once they got inside, they went their separate ways and Frank ran downstairs, knocking on Gerards door. He heard stuff shuffling around before the door opened. Gerard peaked out, not opening his door all of the way.

“Oh, hi,” he said quietly, looking down at Frank.

“Can I come in?” Frank asked quickly.

“I'd rather you not, why what's wrong?” Gerard asked, concerned with Franks tone of voice.

“Can you step out for a second?” he asked, fingeting with the bottom of his shirt.

“Yeah sure, let me just- one sec,” he went back in his room for a moment before leaving his room, closing the door behind him and leaning on it. “What do you need?”

“You know you can talk to me,” Frank said quietly.

“What?”

“If you ever need to get something off of your chest I'm here for you.”

“What's going on?” Gerard was confused.

“You have been really distant, I'm worried,” Frank said quietly, looking at the ground.

“I'm fine, just tired,” he excused, shrugging.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice soaked in worry.

“Yes, I'm sure, stop worrying about me, I'm fine,” Gerard rolled his eyes.

“Promise?” Frank asked quietly.

Gerard looked off to the side, he really didn't like breaking promises and Frank knew that. “I promise,” he said firmly as he looked back at Frank.

“Okay, I'll leave you be now,” Frank looked unsure of his answer.

“Alright, thank you for checking in on me Frankie,” Gerard said as he walked to his door, pausing with his hand on the nob and waiting for Frank to leave.

“Of course,” he said quietly as he walked upstairs.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

Gerard was in the kitchen making breakfast, leaving it on the stove as he went over to the calendar and putting a little X in the corner of the current date before taking a look at the calendar. It was the 8th day of the first month in the new year and Gerard had done nothing but lay in his bed and occasionally come up for food. Sometimes Frank would come down and check in on him, but he always told the shorter boy that he was busy with something. What could you be busy with in the apocalypse? Gerard was glad that Frank never asked because there are like 5 things that you could be doing in an enclosed space that he could think of and only two of them make you busy in the apocalypse.

Then went back to stirring the soup until it was warm enough that it was nice but wouldn’t burn your mouth. He poured it into bowls and brought 4 bowls of it upstairs, opening Mikeys door with a small knock.

~~~~~

“Do you wonder if the world can ever go back to normal,” Pete said, looking up at Mikey from his book.

“No, probably not,” Mikey said in a blunt tone, looking at his own book.

“Well, obviously not completely normal but like,” he put his bookmark in his book and closed it, setting it down on his side table. “Like jobs and other people like you see in Zombie movies, there is always some sort of civilization,” he turned to Mikey.

Mikey sighed and put his bookmark in, setting his book next to Pete’s. “Probably, we don’t know much about Zombies other than its a virus and if you cut out the infection before it gets too centralized you don’t turn,” he turned just his head to look at Pete who was facing him but looking at the blanket between them.

“Do you think we will ever find love or a relationship...?” he asked quietly, glancing at Mikey.

“I’m sure there is plenty of people still alive, they are just hiding like us,” he paused, looking at him, “we found you, didn’t we?”

Pete stared at Mikey, his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his face in general. His breathing picked up ever so slightly while he took in the taller boy’s features like he had done many times.

“Pete...?” Mikey spoke quietly, tearing Pete’s eyes away from his lips and placing them on his own eyes. He had a certain look in his eye, a certain sparkle that Mikey had only seen when he had caught him staring. A look that he couldn’t connect an emotion to. But he knew one thing about that look, and it was that it makes Pete’s eyes look more gorgeous than they did any other time. If he didn’t know how to spell it already, Mikey would learn to spell gorgeous just to describe that look in Pete’s eyes.

Neither of them said anything, they didn’t dare to break the trance that they seemed to both be in, faces inching closer together slowly. The both of them looked from each other’s lips to eyes over and over at different rates. And just when they had gotten close enough that one of them would do something about it.

Knock, “hey guys I brought-” Gerard walked in on them, Pete throwing himself backwards off the bed when the door opened. So, Gerard walked in on Mikey staring at Pete while he practically jumped backwards off the bed. “Um, don’t sex while I’m bringing you soup please...” Gerard said, avoiding eye contact with either of them as he set the soup on the nightstand.

“No Gee it’s not what it looks like-” Mikey said but was cut off.

“Yeah, sure, sure...” he paused at the door, turning to grab the door knob, “you kids, have fun, be safe,” he joked, closing the door as Mikey flipped him off.

Gerard brought the soup to Ray’s room next, knocking on the door and waiting for Ray to shout. It might just be him in there, but Gerard did not want to take chances. He heard Ray shout something, he wasn’t sure what it was until he was met with Ray opening the door.

“Hey, you need something?” Ray asked.

Gerard shook his head and held out one bowl of soup, “I made breakfast,” he said with a smile.

Ray grinned as he took the soup, “thanks dude, I love this shit, is that all?” he asked as he blew on the soup.

“Yeah, enjoy,” Gerard said as he waved, Ray smiling in return before he shut his door. Gerard went to Franks room next, knocking on the door softly.

“Come in!”

He heard that correctly. Gerard opened the door and walked in with a small nervous smile on his face. “I made soup,” he said as he walked over to Frank. Frank was tending to his plants and that’s when he saw the plant in the closet that was in the pot that he had given Frank, it melted his heart more than he was willing to admit.

“Thanks, just set it on my nightstand,” he looked up at Gerard from the floor with a smile that looked a bit too excited for a man watering his plants.

Gerard nodded and set the soup on the nightstand next to Franks small bed. “It might get cold soon, I walked into something… when giving Mikey and Pete some,” he paused at “something” cause he wasn’t quite sure what it was.

Frank stood up, closing the curtains that covered his closet and walking over to sit on the bed and consume his soup. “What do you mean? what did you walk into...?” he asked, hesitant.

“I’m not sure? I mean I knocked but to be fair I didn’t wait long before opening the door. It’s like 8 am! I didn’t think that I would have to worry,” he chuckled, leaning against a wall as he watched Frank eat a little too attentively.

“Well, what was it? Pete and Mikey?” Frank asked in an excited or shocked sounding voice.

“Yeah, I went to give them soup but when I walked in Pete was like, throwing himself off of the bed and Mikey was all pink and refusing to look at me,” he laughed a bit as he remembered the encounter.

“Thaaats what that crash was,” Frank said, thinking. “Well, the only times I’ve thrown myself off of a bed when someone walks in is if I was about to or was actively doing something “inappropriate” or if I was under the age of 10,” Frank joked, putting a word in air quotes.

Gerard chuckled, “right! And Mikey told me that it’s not what it looks like,” Gerard crossed his arms in a semi sassy way.

“I have a sneaking suspicion that it was what it looked like,” Frank said as he ate his food with a smile. Gerard stared at that smile for too long and when he finally tore his eyes away, he found that he was also smiling ever so slightly, and it felt genuine.

“I bet it was.”

~~~~~

“Can you tell Mikey to hurry up? I need to do the dishes,” Gerard said, turning to Pete, “oh and make sure not to fall again,” he joked.

Pete groaned and stood up, “I knew you wouldn’t let me live that down,” he said as he walked away towards the upstairs.

Frank was giggling in his spot in the living room as he watched Gerard over the back of the couch. “Do you need help with any chores ma?” Frank joked, causing Gerard to roll his eyes. He had been cleaning all day and the whole time Frank watched. He watched while he swept, he watched while he dusted and wiped things down, he watched as he cleaned his mess of a room, he watched as he organized every drawer in the house that he was allowed.

“Haha, very funny,” Gerard glanced at Frank with a playful glare, “no, I don’t need any help.” He heard the shower upstairs turn off, so he turned the sink on, filling one side of the sink halfway with warm water before he started to wash the dishes. Frank had taken Gerard’s CD player and his own folder of CD’s and had been playing music since Gerard had started his cleaning spree.

“Are you sure you’re okay Gee?” Frank asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered simply.

Frank knew he shouldn’t keep talking but he did, “I’m sorry it’s just, you hardly came out of your room for a week and your room was a mess and now you’re cleaning the whole house. I know you well enough to know what that means Gee.“ he spoke with concern, “or at least the bases of what it means..”

Gerard visibly slowed down while Frank spoke. “I’m fine Frank, I say I’m fine every time and I’ve been right.” His voice was stern and annoying.

Frank sunk in his spot, “sorry..” what he meant to say was “I’m sorry Gerard, I shouldn’t have said that,” but the rest of it got lost in translation from words thought to sounds spoken.

“Its fine.”

After a while of silence, Frank snuck upstairs without Gerard noticing like he had done when he was younger.

Gerard eventually finished the dishes, drying them and putting them away. He felt bad for how he had talked to Frank, he had sounded sad. He shouldn’t have said that, Frank was just checking in on him. Gerards issue was that he always wanted someone to check on him, to help him. But once anyone did, he got upset and usually ends up making the other person upset.

Gerard turned to the living room, looking at the tile floor of the kitchen. “Hey Frank.. I’m really sorry for how I’ve been treating you, I shouldn’t be locking you out or telling you I’m busy when you want to talk. You’re right, I’m not fine and I haven’t been in a long time and I’m so, so sorry for breaking that promise I just-” he took a deep breath in, tears forming in his eyes, “ I really hate worrying people and I care about you a lot and I never want to worry you or hurt you and-” he looked up at the couch to find it empty. Oh. “hello..?” He walked closer to the couch, looking over the back of it to check if Frank was there. He wasn’t.

Thats when the tears fell, the final nail in the coffin that changed Gerard from almost going to cry and can maybe hold it together to rushing downstairs and locking himself in his room as he hyperventilated on his bed, facing his closet with his hands gripping his own chest. He pulled at the fabric on his chest, tears making dark spots on his sweatshirt. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth as he closed his eyes.

He shouldn’t have talked to Frank like that, he just wanted to help. He always pushed him away, and for good reason. He always hurt Frank, even if he didn’t admit it. He always got hurt. Frank always hurt him. Everyone, always hurt him. He would be better off alone, dead even. How dare he hurt Frank like everyone else. How dare Frank hurt him by leaving. How dare he- how- how dare he-.. How dare he care. How dare Frank make him love him. Fuck. he really needs something, someone- no not someone. Oh god he’s spiraling, stop stop stop stop. Somewhere along those strings of stop he repeated in his head, it changed from asking his thoughts to stop to him asking his heart to stop, asking his lungs or kidneys give up so he can die knowing he can never physically or mentally hurt anyone ever again. Especially himself.

By that night there was a small star in the corner of the date on the calendar. He had to switch the symbol cause Ray argued that they should put a snowflake on every day that it snows so now Gerard gets a star. Woohoo, great reward in his opinion. He rode out his high in his bed, the door still slightly open and the light shining out of the room.

An hour later he was hunched over the toilet, trying to forcefully throw up whatever he had chosen to take. He hated to let it go to waste in this world but he really didn’t want Frank or Mikey finding him dead because Gerard was stupid and sad and took a couple too many pills. He hoped they went all digested.

~~~~~

Frank tossed and turned in his bed, he wanted to give Gerard a proper apology but didn’t know if he was still awake. It’s Gerard, why wouldn’t he be awake?

Frank got out of his bed and snuck down the hall and down the stairs like he had so many times, passing every room. He was confused when he saw Gerards door open. He peaked inside and saw the room empty, bed messy, confusing. He left the room and looked around the dark basement, noticing a faint light coming from under the bathroom door. He then noticed a sound that he couldn’t place exactly.

He walked over to the closed door and knocked lightly, “Gee..?”

No answer but more of what he realized now was the sound of gagging.

“Gerard open the door please? I want to apologize for how I acted,” he knocked on the door again.

A moment of silence before Gerard spoke, voice sounding strained. “It’s unlocked, c-come in,” he stuttered.

Frank turned the knob, peaking in the poorly lit room, the only light being from a flashlight that Gerard had grabbed while running for the bathroom. He noticed Gerard hunched over the toilet, hiding his face. Frank rushed over and started to tie his hair back, gathering all of Gerard’s hair to prevent it from getting dirty.

“Gerard oh my god what’s wrong?!” He sounded panicked as he watched Gerard dry heave like he had drank a bottle of vodka the night before.

Gerard shook his head slightly, Frank noticing his hands down his throat.

“If nothing is wrong, why are you trying to force yourself to throw up!” He took Gerard’s hand out of his mouth.

“I- pills-” Frank cut him off right there by grabbing him and forcing him into the bathtub. Frank had delt with overdoses before, his own and others. He shoved his fingers down Gerard’s throat, not flinching like Gerard had been when he gagged. Frank got him to throw up pretty quickly, turning on the bath and watching it wash away a couple slightly digested pills and colored stomach acid down the drain.

Gerard felt helpless, hunched over the side of the tub, gagging and throwing up on Frank’s hand. Normally, this would probably turn Gerard on more than it should, which it shouldn’t, but the circumstances were less than fortunate. He was now just dry heaving, nothing left in his stomach.

“Fucking hell, Gee..” Frank muttered as he laid Gerard against the wall beside the tub as he washed the sink and flushed the toilet. He grabbed some toilet paper and put some water on it, wiping Gerards face before forcing him, it didn’t take much in his current state, to open his mouth in order for Frank to brush his teeth for him. He had a sad look on his face as he took care of Gerard, brushing his teeth and wiping the sweat off his face before he struggled to pick Gerard up off of the floor. He found it easier to carry him than it was to pick him up in the first place.

He placed him in his bed, putting the blankets over him and wiping the hair off of his face. He looked down at Gerard, hand on his face. He had rested it there after wiping the hair away from his eyes. Gerard just stared up at him, pupils blown out and the whites of his eyes tinted with red.

Frank sighed as he looked at Gerard, “what am I going to do with you..” it was more of a question to the universe that he spoke quiet enough for only him and whatever ruled the universe to hear.

~~~~~

Frank woke up, kneeling on the floor beside the bed, head rested against the mattress. One of his hands was rested on Gerards shoulder, other hand under his own head with his elbow poking into Gerard slightly. It was still dark out.

He retracted his arms slowly as he stood up, falling over due to his legs being asleep from the way he was laying. He rubbed his legs, feeling them regain circulation. He stood up, arms feeling numb along with his legs. He left the room, staring at Gerard a bit too hard before leaving to the pantry and grabbing one of the empty bottles and filling it with water before returning to Gerards room and putting the water on his nightstand before leaving the room again and closing the door behind himself.

~~~~~

Later that day, Frank and Mikey were sitting in the living room, reading the same book when Mikey noticed Frank nodding off slightly. And then he noticed how Frank was halfway hunched over, propping his head up with his arm while blinking for longer than a normal blink.

“Frank, pay attention,” he was sort of frustrated.

“Oh, um, sorry ill- ill pay attention,” he said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

That made Mikey put his book down with the bookmark in it, “what’s going on,” he asked.

“What? Oh I- just- something kept me up last night..” he mumbled, looking down.

“Well, you left your room last night and didn’t return until this morning so, what was that about?” Mikey called him out, taking his book from him and putting the bookmark in it before putting it next to his own.

“Oh uh, I went down to apologize for an.. Argument Gerard and I had earlier yesterday, and he needed help,” Frank thought about the words he used before he used them, not wanting to make Gerard look a certain way that would upset Mikey.

“Frank.” Mikey gave him a “bullshit” look.

“What? I’m serious,” Frank said in return, not sounding so sure of himself.

Mikey made a face that showed the gears turning in his head. “Did that “argument” result in you not being there when Gerard poured his heart out to what I assume was an empty space?” he asked, looking Frank in the eyes.

Frank made eye contact with him for a second, face shocked and upset, before he buried his head in his hands. “Shit.. that’s why..” he mumbled.

“Thats why what Frankenstein? Youve given me an all-white puzzle and not a single corner piece,” he crossed his arms, waiting for an explanation.

Frank sighed, face scrunching up with what looked like annoyance. “You have to promise you won’t get mad at him,” he spoke hardly above a whisper, eyes still closed with his head in one of his hands with his other hand picking at his sweatpants.

“I can’t promise that,” Mikey answered.

“Please Mikey you can’t get mad at hi-”

“Frank, he’s my brother. I love him to death but if he did something to upset you and you’re covering it up cause you don’t want me to be upset with him, its gonna make me more upset cause its gotta be bad.” Mikey cut him off.

Frank sat in silence, staring at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers, biting it off when it was picked up enough while he contemplated telling him.

“Frank come on, just tell me.”

Frank took a deep breath in, “I asked him if he was sure if he was okay and he said yeah and he sounded upset, I apologized, he said it was fine, I was stupid and told him it wasn’t and explained why I thought that and he seemed more upset so I apologized again and snuck upstairs and apparently I missed him venting to the couch an-” he stopped himself, hoping that Mikey didn’t hear that last part and accepted that as the whole story. But Mikey was smart, so of course he questioned it.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re almost passing out while reading. spill.” Mikey leaned back slightly.

“I wanted to apologize and- he wasn’t in his room, the bathroom though. I-I found him over the toilet and when I asked what was wrong all he said was pills and- he couldn’t seem to get them back up so I had to take over and it all just-” his voice cracked.

“Reminded you of when we were young..?” Mikey tried to finish his sentence for him.

Frank nodded, “can we.. go upstairs..?” Frank asked.

“Sure dude, we can go to my room,” Mikey said as he stood up. He led the way to his room, Pete not asking any questions when he was kicked out.

They sat on Mikeys bed after Pete had left and shut the door.

“What can I do for you?” Mikey asked in a sympathetic voice.

Frank thought for a moment, “I just- don’t think he remembers all of those times in high school- I don’t think he knows about how it was at my home, I don’t think he realizes how much of the stuff he does effects me..” he spoke quiet, looking down and trying to hide his face.

“I’m sorry, how bad was he last night?” Mikay asked, unsure if he should’ve asked or not.

“I don’t think he could stand, or talk much. I had to clean him up after and brush his teeth and shit. Carried him to bed, fell asleep on the floor next to him. Like someone waiting for someone to wake up in the hospital,” Frank shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s not the end of the world I guess, I’m just tired..”

Mikey grabbed his laptop and turned on a movie he had downloaded. He held his arms out and Frank nodded, scooting closer and burying himself in Mikey. He could swear that he felt some tears through his shirt but he didn’t say much as he put a blanket over the two of them and held Frank close, running his fingers through his hair and having the movie adjusted so Frank could see it.

Once he noticed that Frank was finally asleep, Mikey eased out of his grip and left the room, storming his way quietly downstairs and ignoring what Pete shouted from the living room to him.

He busted into Gerard’s room and closed the door behind him. Gerard sat up in his bed immediately, confused about why he was interrupted from drawing.

“Wha-?”

“What. the. Fuck Gerard!” he shouted a little too loud.

“What- what did I do?” Gerard just looked confused.

“Do you not remember last night?!” Mikey shouted at him, upset that he had upset Frank so much.

“No- not really..?” he admitted.

“What was the last thing you remember and don’t even bother lying because I know what happened last night.” Mikey had his arms crossed as he leaned on one leg next to Gerard, refraining himself from punching his brother in the face.

“I was really high- took too much and went to the bathroom to throw them up, what’s the big deal..?” Gerard looked at him.

“Oh my fucking god, you’re going to say that and then ask what the big deal is? The big deal is that you couldn’t throw up the stupid fucking pills yourself and you had made Frank feel like shit earlier that day so he went to apologize and you had your fucking hand down your throat!” he yelled. “And on top of that, I’m pretty sure Frank had to shove his fingers down your fucking throat to save you!” Mikey sounded livid and Gerard was just sinking lower and lower into his spot, glancing back and forth from the floor to Mikey.

“I’m sorry..” he said, hardly a whisper.

“You’re sorry?! He brushed your teeth for you! He wiped the damn sweat and vomit off you and carried you to your fucking bed! I would have just left you there! I would have shoved my fingers down your throat and left you to wake up with the taste in your mouth and everything for YOU to clean up because YOU should be responsible for that stuff, but you never are! It’s always FRANK!” Mikey looked at him, he was sure the whole house could probably hear but he didn’t care at that moment.

“What..?”

Mikey scoffed. “For fucks sakes Gerard. Open your god damn eyes! How did you always end up back in your bed with a glass of water and a clean mouth!? He didn’t ever want me to tell you but I can’t see you hurting him like this STILL.” Usually by this loudness Gerard has started yelling back or one of them threw a punch but something was holding Mikey back and Gerard didn’t have the energy.

“I’m sorry.. I-I didn’t know..” Gerard looked up at Mikey who looked even more upset after than sentence

“Fucking-” Mikey punched him, right in the face. “THINK!” He practically screamed before leaving the room and slamming the door behind himself, leaving Gerard to shrivel up in pain, not only from the punch but also the damage of that drug he took. He was still feeling it a bit, which definitely didn’t help the painful bloody nose.

He went upstairs, sitting on the couch and processing all he had just said. Pete came creeping down the steps and into the living room, sitting next to Mikey and rubbing his back softly.

“I’m guessing you heard..?” He looked over at Pete who nodded his head, a frown on his face. “Frank didn’t wake up though.”

“Good, I’m sorry you had to hear all of that..” he muttered, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

“Its okay,” Pete offered him a soft smile as he rubbed his back, Mikey leaning into him after a lot of contemplating. He put his head on top of Mikey’s as he pulled him close, putting an arm around him and rubbing his arm lightly. “Why don’t I go bring Frank to his room since he’s out cold and we can watch a movie or read, does that sound nice?” He spoke like Mikey would shatter like glass at too sharp of a word.

Mikey nodded, sniffling and wiping his face before looking at Pete. He wasn’t sure if there were tears on his face or not, he wasn’t paying attention, he just wanted to make sure there wasn’t.

They both walked upstairs and into Mikey’s room, Pete realizing him being the same size as Frank was inconvenient to carry him. So Mikey was the one to carry him to his own room, returning with a sigh as he closed the door and flopped on the bed, looking at Pete.

“Talk to me Mikey,” Pete said, laying by the headboard and looking at where Mikey was laying.

“I want him to get better, I don’t even know where he got the pills I just-” he sighed. “I can’t watch him put Frank through what I saved him from.”

Pete looked sad, playing with Mikey’s hair and waiting for more information. He knew hardly anything about them before the apocalypse.

“I don’t know how much I’m allowed to say but Frank used to find his mom like that a lot, on drugs or alcohol, prescriptions. Shit like that, typical. I think it was because his dad was never home, maybe at work, maybe with another women. He came home some nights but most of the time I forced Frank to let me be there. I wasn’t going to allow Frank to see his shit family at its highest capacity for shit, I wasn’t going to let him do that alone,” he buried his head in his bed. “But whenever I brought him to my house I had to pray that Gerard wasn’t high, he always was, because I wanted Frank to see what a normal house looked like but my addict fucking brother,” he sighed

Pete had moved closer to where Mikey was laying, playing with his hair. “It’s okay, keep going,” Pete wanted to know everything.

“Sometimes we would drink or smoke with him, there was a couple times that Gerard offered Frank stronger drugs but that never went over well with me, so I think he stopped. It’s not his fault that he’s sick, he just is,” Mikey frowned, “my parents probably didn’t help..” he sighed again, “I just wish I could help him, I just want to help both of them.. So bad..”

Pete pulled him closer, holding him gently “I hope you know that none of it is your fault,” he assured him

“Well I think that the first time Frank tried weed or alcohol, it wasn’t Gerard so I know that I couldn’t have stopped that. I think, might have to ask about that,” he chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

“Probably,” Pete said, humming quietly to fill the silence.

And now Mikey understood why Frank enjoyed this method of comfort. It was comforting, gentle, soothing, and whatever other synonyms he could think of as his mind drifted further away without him noticing until Pete moved and Mikey jumped slightly, waking up but drifting away again shortly after.

~~~~~

Mikey was laying in his bed with Frank, playing some video games for a couple hours, eating junk food and being told to quiet down by Mikey’s mom, before they turned on a movie. Neither of them were awkward with each other anymore, they had been friends since 5th grade but had known each other longer.

Eventually Mikey fell asleep, and Frank got bored, thinking of what there was to do. So, he got up and wondered the basement floor of the Way’s house, hearing the noise of the movie that he had already watched from Mikey’s room. He could hear the sound of some tv show coming from Gerard’s room, that’s an idea, maybe not a good one but he’s done it before. He’s hung out with Gerard before, without Mikey. Only for small amounts of time but he was bored so might as well.

For some reason there was something in the back of his mind reminding him of the look Mikey gave him whenever he was a little too nice to Gerard or whenever he suggested they hang out with him more often. His defense? Gerard seems interesting.

He still walked over to the door, knocking on it softly. The tv almost immediately turned down in volume followed by a quiet shout from inside the room. “One moment!”

Frank waited for a decent couple of minutes before Gerard opened the door, almost immediately finding him in the doorway.

“Oh, I thought you were Mikey, hey,” Gerard looked a bit confused to why Frank was at his door, seemingly fine.

“Hey, Mikey fell asleep, and I’m bored,” Frank shrugged, that was it. That was the only reason that he was there, and he knew it, maybe.

“Oh uh, okay um, come in?” he offered, stepping slightly out of the way.

Frank nodded and entered the room, and now he realized why it took too long for Gerard to open the door. He had shoved all the clothes on his floor out of sight, probably the closet or under the bed. Mikey had told him to clean his room earlier, Gerard didn’t want a lecture of why his room was a hazard again.

“So,” Gerard said, closing his door and sitting on his bed. “Why not just wake Mikey?” he asked.

Frank shrugged, sitting on the end of the bed. “He deserves sleep, I made him carry me on his back today so,” he snickered to himself.

Gerard laughed quietly, eyes squinting with his smile. Frank smiled at the sight of what looked to be a genuine smile, those had been rarer from Gerard lately. If he thinks about it, Frank can see his smile fading throughout the years of knowing him as more than Mikey’s weird older brother that everyone says is a vampire.

Since he became Frank’s little crush, he had noticed it more. Crush is a strong word; it was like a kid that sees someone cool and wants him to think they’re cool, like a 11-year-old girl in her tankini trying to get the lifeguard to fall in love. He might just want to be friends with Gerard but the idea that he could have a small crush on his friend’s weird older brother was partly embarrassing. Not because it’s Gerard but because it’s his friend’s older brother. a brother that he had known since he was 5 and Gerard was 8 when Mikey had been picked up from daycare before Frank because of his mom’s new job.

Frank would like to think that the reason for his confusing feelings are that he has never had a real relationship or that he is a teenager and going through confusing feelings regularly.

“Thats a good reason not to wake him up,” Gerard said as he started to take some of the things off of his bed. He had a pile of stuff next to him on his bed and he had started to pick stuff up from it and put them in places in the room. He went over to his window, opening it and looking at Frank, “is it alright with you if I smoke?” he asked.

Frank nodded and watched as Gerard smoked out the window, the wind blowing some it of back in the room. The smell hit him, and it reminded Frank of his dad’s room when he was younger, when his dad came home every day at the same time and cooked him dinner and let him watch tv with him. His dad was always the nicest when that smell was around and that’s when the realization hit him. “Can I try it..?” he asked, looking at Gerard.

Gerard looked confused as he took a drink, trying not to cough as he looked over at Frank. “Have you ever smoked before?” he asked, stepping to the side to make room for Frank next to the window.

Frank shrugged, “I did a couple times when I was in elementary school?” he stood up and walked over to the window, “I used to smoke cigs if that counts?”

Gerard chuckled, “that doesn’t count. Are you sure that you want to try it?” He raised an eyebrow at Frank, not handing him the bowl yet.

Frank nodded, “I’m sure.”

So, Gerard nodded and handed it to him, “that hole is where you smoke from and the hole right there is the choke.” he moved Franks fingers around the piece, putting them where they should be for him, “you suck in, let go of that hole, and then inhale. Alright?” he explained, earning a nod from Frank.

If he was being completely honest, his checks were not their normal color and his heart might have skipped a beat or two as Gerard lit it for him and continued to make eye contact with him like he was watching over him, which was technically what he was doing.

“Careful, you don’t want too much,” he warned in a low voice, watching Frank let go of the choke and inhale it. Gerard pulled the bowl away from him and Frank made a sour face as he tried to hold it in like Gerard, failing and coughing out the window, a cloud of smoke going with the coughs. Gerard was laughing, “I told you to be careful,” he said as he handed him a bottle of water with some sort of flavoring packet in it, “here, drink this,” he pat Frank on the back and then rubbed one soft circle into him with his hand.

To Gerard that was probably some sort of comforting action but to Frank, he was glad he had his body pressed against the wall as he leaned out of the window at the moment. “th- thank you” he said between coughs to the best of his ability. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of his chest. As drank the drink a bit too quickly, he could feel it go down his vacuum sealed throat. And then he inhaled, and he was back.

Gerard was still laughing but quieter now as he looked at Frank who finally looked back at him and met his eyes. “You should have listened to me, I wasn’t calling you greedy,” he joked.

“Yeah yeah, I’m aware, I’m never doing that again,” he said as he stood up, walking over and sitting on Gerard’s bed with his drink that was probably Gerard’s before.

“Sure,” Gerard chuckled, going back to the bowl in his hand.

“How can you still be doing that?” He looked confused.

“Because it isn’t my first-time smoking Frankie,” he teased, rolling his eyes and turning to the window.

Somewhere during the 3 minutes of Frank sitting on the bed and waiting for Gerard, it seemed that every muscle in his eyes had relaxed. His posture had relaxed along with his mind, everything was so quiet yet so loud and it was almost perfect.

And then Gerard turned around after he noticed the silence from Frank, immediately losing his shit and laughing, kneeling over. Frank giggled and covered his face, half curling up as he did so. Frank laughed for longer than Gerard, unable to stop his laughter as Gerard closed the window and sat on the spot next to Frank on the bed. He was a reasonable distance away from him on the bed when he handed him a bag of chips and another drink.

“Thank you,” Frank said with a smile, those were some good chips.

And the next morning was the reason that Mikey implemented the “no fucking my brother” rule because Frank had fallen asleep while they were watching a movie and Gerard didn’t know what to do so Mikey found both of them sleeping in the same bed. Though they both were embarrassed, Frank more than Gerard, they both said that they hadn’t done anything so Mikey had to believe them and just drag Frank back to his room.

He never did explain to Mikey exactly what happened, he just said he was bored and fell asleep while watching a movie with Gerard.

~~~~~

Frank woke up, it was dark out, so he was going to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t. He sat up, looking around his room with a frown. Frank sat up and walked to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He messed with his hair, mouth scrunching up to the side. He walked back to his room and turned on his radio, listening to random stations of static quietly. He grabbed a pair of scissors and the radio and shut himself in the bathroom, humming quietly and sometimes drumming on things quietly as he cut chucks out of his hair. He put some of his hair in the front in a rubber band, cutting above it and then washing his hair in the bathtub as he leaned over it. He collected all the hair he cut off, putting it in one of the many plastic bags he had stolen from some abandoned stores. Most of his hair was shoulder length at the moment, he had just cut some of the hair in the front to his nose. He was about to cut most of the back off too, putting the different sections into rubber bands to make his life easier.

It looked really bad at the moment but eventually he got it. It looked like an overgrown, and for the most part better, bowl cut. but his hair laid a certain way that made it look good. He put all the hair in the bag, it was more than he thought it would be. Frank rinsed his hair once more to get the slivers off hair off of himself before he dried his hair with a towel. When he got back to his room with all of his stuff, he locked his door and lit some candles.

He opened his curtains and stared outside for a while, looking past the gate at the couple Zombies he could see roaming. There were a couple birds in the trees.

He turned around and opened the curtains to his closet. There were plants on some of the shelves, Frank watered them and took some of the smaller bits of hair and shoved it in the dirt, mixing it in with some of the plants. not all of them but probably half of them, he did some of the ones on the windowsill too, watering those plants too. He sat in his bed, looking around. He wasn’t looking at anything in particular. Just, everything.

There was no science that Frank knew of about the correlation between fertilizer and hair but it made sense in his head that it would do something.

He had been ignoring it but that dream really made him yearn for that feeling again, made him yearn for when he was in early high school and everything seemed so hard but was so easy compared to this.

He had edibles that he was saving and he hadn’t had one in a while so he got up and went over to his drawers. He was very happy that he grabbed his prescriptions before they left when the main stuff happened.

He ate one of his gummies and laid in his bed. It took about 20 minutes to kick in but it was a long 20 minutes for him.

The rest of the time that he slept, his dream was wonderful and horrible.

~~~~~

They were all eating dinner together, looking at the calendar and planning the next week. They hadn’t went out since that whole thing with Ray’s arm. Both Ray and Pete insist that they are fine to go out again but the others aren’t believing as much.

“We shouldn’t go out again until the snow melts,” Mikey stated.

“Everyone thinks of that! If we go now, then there will still be stuff to grab!” Ray said, putting his plate down.

“The snow makes it so hard though,” Frank complained.

“We are running out of food,” Pete argued.

Gerard rolled his eyes, “I looked the other day, we are fine for like 2 months with only breakfast and by then will be the first melt,” he added.

“See! We only have to wait like another month till the snow melts for like a week, and it does that multiple times!” Mikey seemed enthusiastic that he had the majority of people on his side. It had started as a small argument between Ray and Mikey at the table.

“Fine! As long as we get to go out by the end of the month,” Ray said sternly, like it was all or nothing.

“I can make that work,” Gerard said as he wrote a little note on the top of the calendar, “go out by Feb.”

“Woo no more fighting,” Pete said with a smile.

“Don’t get too excited, if we are gonna go out, we need to account for that time with food and water so how long would we ideally go out?” Gerard asked, starting his sentence looking at Pete but halfway through he looked between the calendar in his lap and the others.

“Well, it’s not nice to walk but we are definitely going to have to walk a while,” Frank leaned on his chair which he was sitting on backwards.

“Did you guys empty the last town?” Pete asked.

“I think we got a majority of the stuff there, it was pretty empty,” Mikey said as he ate his food.

“What about-”

“I found Pete in the last building on one side at the first town and I saw Ray and Mikey on the other side before I went in,” Frank interrupted Gerard who just nodded.

“Anyone know the names of those towns?” Gerard asked to which everyone shook their head. “Well let’s write that down next time and we can find one of those small notebooks to write it in,” Gerard added, writing down in a notebook.

“Why don’t we follow the road for a bit this time? The last couple times we didn’t start on the road,” Mikey suggested, bringing his and Ray’s empty plates to the sink.

“Sure, are we all going?” Frank asked.

“I think we should all go but I don’t know if that would change the amount of time we can be out for,” Ray added

“Probably, we should aim for like 4 days, but we might have to sleep outside,” Pete thought as he spoke.

Gerard wrote something on the notebook, “we could sleep in the trees, stay in groups or close together,” he suggested.

“How the hell would we sleep in trees?” Mikey asked.

“There are spots that the branches go across each other and make a kind of pocket spot, if we walk enough down the road there is an area where the trees look like that,” he looked up at Mikey, “we can all take turns being awake to keep watch for bears and Zombies and stuff?”

“Aren’t bears hibernating?” Pete asked.

“Hibernation is more of a sleepy time, they still wake up and go around just, less?” Ray said before Mikey had gotten the chance to. He had learned many animal things over the years, mostly from Mikey.

“They still come out if there is food available and to me it looks like there is still a decent amount of animals and there will start to be more and more because no one can hunt for sport when they are trying to run from Zombies,” Mikey added, proving he knew more with a smirk. Ray just rolled his eyes.

“Oh,” Pete responded.

“It sounds like winter depression,” Frank joked.

“Fair,” Gerard said as he doodled on the notebook while he thought.

“Guns are loud, do we have like.. Long sticks.. Or something?” Ray asked.

“Or a bow?” Pete said, looking at Ray confused on why he would want a stick instead of a long-range weapon.

“If we are talking weapons, how many of you know how to actually use a bow?” Frank asked, raising his hand.

Both Mikey and Gerard raised their hands, Pete partly raised his hand. “I know how to use a cross bow?”

“Come on man, why does Mikey know how to use a bow and I don’t,” Ray complained.

“Because our grandpa used to take us hunting,” Mikey stuck his tongue out at Ray who rolled his eyes.

“I can help you two learn if we can find the stuff to make them,” Frank offered.

“I know how to make bows!” Pete said excitedly.

“How-?” Gerard looked up, confused. “I know it’s a simple concept, but you know how to make like an actual hunting bow?”

“And the arrows, my grandpa had a woodshop and I used to make stuff with him,” he said with a smile.

“I love it when people know random things that actually help,” Ray said, taking the rest of everyone’s empty plates to the sink.

“Remember when Frank used to force you to play in the forest with him?” Gerard asked, directing it at Mikey, “he used to tell me all of the time that he loved it,” Gerard added, this time looking at Frank.

“You said you hated it!” Frank said, looking jokingly offended at Mikey.

“Well, it was kind of fun to be able to climb trees and make fires, remember when we got lost when we were camping Junior spring break?” Mikey looked at Frank with a smile.

“Dude I didn’t know we were actually lost until you said it for like the 10th time,” Frank laughed slightly, getting a small chuckle from Mikey.

“I know! How long were we lost?” he asked, looking excited at the memory.

“I think at least a day,” Mikey thought for a moment, “but hey, it was kind of fun in the end.”

“yeah, it was pretty fun,” Frank smiled.

“So, is that all we need to know for the trip?” Pete interrupted their conversation.

“No, how much food and water will we need?” Ray asked, looking at Gerard.

“I think we will figure out groups and have one bag in each group designated for food and medical,” Gerard suggested.

“We should each pack one of each though, in case something bad happens, just in case of emergency,” Ray added.

“Good idea, I think that’s all. There are sleeping bags that we can bring under the stairs,” Gerard said, writing more stuff down on the page.

“So, we are just going to huddle in trees with sleeping bags and we will be warm enough?” Pete seemed skeptical.

“Yep, if you keep the sleeping bags closed at the top it will make it warm on the inside from your breath, maybe,” Gerard said as he got up and put the calendar back on the wall and the notebook on the counter next to it.

~~~~~

For another week Frank sat up at night, waiting for the snow to melt while he messed with the radio. One night he was about to fall asleep when the channel he was on switched from static to a staticky beeping noise. He jumped up, it scared him. The sudden louder noise drew his attention to his radio which he grabbed and turned up the volume a bit more.

The beeping went on for a while longer and just when Frank was about to give up and try going back to sleep, it started saying words. He took out a piece of paper and a pencil, writing down what he heard as fast as he could. The person on the radio spoke slowly, word by word, probably so that people could write it down.

“Hello, I am part of an elite force separate from the government, they are broadcasting on 105 FM saying something about satellites. Satellites and most Wi-Fi works if you can get your hands on a router, the government is using this time to collect money from dead or surviving peoples accounts because that matters in a time like this. We have word that there is a government base where a giant group of the rich and higher ups are safe. It is 12 am on Saturday January 10th. We will continue to give timed updates and let you know.”

He managed to write most of it down, smiling at his hard work. He smiled harder when the talking stopped, and it started playing music. He excitedly got out of his bed and walked across the hall to Mikey’s room, opening the door and watching Mikey scramble away from Pete who he had been lying on.

Frank snickered, “I wouldn’t care if you guys were smooching just stop making it look suspicious when someone walks in,” Frank rolled his eyes, sitting on the end of the bed with a piece of paper.

“Whatever, what do you need,” Mikey looked embarrassed as he moved closer to Frank.

“There is another radio station!” he said excitedly.

“No shit, there is plenty of them,” Mikey rolled his eyes.

“No no I mean saying stuff, look I wrote it all down!” he corrected, handing him the sheet of paper with words scribbled down.

Mikey took the piece of paper and started to attempt to read it. Frank looked at Pete, chuckling.

“Mikey has a soft spot for being cuddled by big strong men,” Frank joked, looking at Mikey and teasing him.

Mikey punched him on the arm, “shut up, I’m literally taller than both of you,” He rolled his eyes and crossed one arm, the other one being used for the sheet of paper.

Frank looked over at Pete and snickered when Pete nodded with a wink, giggling in return. Mikey ignored him as they read.

“What station is this?” he asked, looking at Frank.

Frank changed his gaze to Mikey, “I think it’s 101.3,” he sounded unsure of himself.

Mikey grabbed another piece of paper, writing down what Frank’s paper said, “well you can have the poorly written copy,” he said as he finished copying it down, handing him back the piece of paper and putting his glasses on the side table.

Frank rolled his eyes and got up, “your welcome geek squad,” he walked to the door.

“I would have found out about it in the morning,” Mikey looked up at him, “is it dark in here or did you do something to your hair,” he squinted, putting his glasses back on.

“Yes, he did,” Pete assured Mikey.

“Yes, I did,” Frank looked proud of himself,

“Thats one way to do it?” Mikey shrugged.

“I’ve always cut my own hair,” Frank crossed his arms.

“Yeah, until you found out Gerard could do hair decent,” Mikey gave him a knowing look.

“I needed his help with the back, and you wouldn’t do it,” Frank furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I bet you needed help in the back from Gerard,” Pete joked, joining in on the conversation again.

“Oh my god not like that,” Frank turned around.

“Whaat? You seemed to like when Gerard was behind you back then,” Mikey added, teasing him more.

“What?!” Frank answered a bit too loudly, about to leave the room, hand on the doorknob.

“I found you in his bed too many times!” Mikey shouted once Frank had closed the door.

Frank groaned quietly before walking down the hall to his room but was stopped halfway by someone behind him, touching his shoulder and making him jump. Frank gasped slightly as he jumped and turned around, calming down when he saw Gerard.

“Sorry!” Gerard apologized quietly.

“It’s alright, do you need something,” Frank looked away from him.

“Um, can we talk in your room..?” he asked anxiously.

“Yeah, sure,” Frank led him to his room, sitting on the bed as he watched Gerard shut the door. Frank had his curtains open so the moonlight could go through. “What happened to your eye..? I didn’t want to ask in front of everyone in case you didn’t want to talk about it,” he paused, “sorry.”

“Oh uh, Mikey and I got into a.. Fight...” he looked off to the side, not wanting to say any more.

“About what..?” Frank had his suspicions on what the fight was about.

Frank sighed, “god dammit Mikey,” he mumbled to himself, “what did he tell you?”

“That you take care of me more than anyone else when I’ve done something stupid..” He looked embarrassed about something, probably what the stupid stuff was.

“I really wish he didn’t tell you that,” he groaned.

“I don’t remember last time if that makes you feel any better?” Gerard offered.

“I just didn’t want you to know that,” Frank sighed, covering his face for a moment

Gerard stayed quiet for a while before deciding to look at Frank, “so Mikey thinks you like when I’m behind you?”

“You heard that, oh my lord,” Frank let himself fall to his side as he pulled his blanket completely over himself.

“It was pretty funny,” Gerard shrugged, “and your hair looks nice,”

“Thanks..” Frank looked out from the blankets, sitting up again. “So, what did you come up here for anyways?”

“I wanted to apologize for all of those times you took care of me when you shouldn’t have had to and didn’t have to,” he paused, “Mikey told me he would’ve left me to clean myself up after I threw up and I’m pretty sure my parents would have done the same..” Gerard looked at the plants to his side.

“It’s alright, I don’t have it in my heart to let you lay on the bathroom floor with that horrible taste in your mouth,” Frank said quietly, “just because you’ve made some bad decisions doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be taken care of,” he shrugged.

Gerard’s heart fluttered, “Well thank you for that,” Gerard was taken off guard by Frank’s words, looking over at Frank and his small smile. His hair did look very nice, and so did the slight smile on his face, and his eyes, Lord. “I wouldn’t blame you if you had enough one day and stopped by the way, you don’t need to feel like you have to do it.”

“When I see someone sad, it makes me sad and if I don’t help them, I know that they could still be sad and that makes me sad,” Frank admitted, “so if you don’t want me to do it for you, think about it as me helping myself.”

“I see, understandable,” he answered.

They sat in silence for a bit.

“I’m tired, I think I’m going to head to bed,” Gerard walked over to the door, opening it and saying a quick, “goodnight Frank,” before shutting the door and scurrying downstairs.

Frank stayed sitting up in his bed, thinking. Mikey didn’t have to tell Gerard those things and Frank was a bit frustrated that Gerard had heard most of their conversation before. He was annoyed.

~~~~~

Mikey looked over at Frank and sighed, “I hate when you make that face,” Mikey spoke, looking at Frank who was angerly reading.

“Oh what?” he looked up at Mikey, his face changing to neutral, “sorry I was just reading about a guy who tells his older brother things that his best friend didn’t want him to know and then punched him in the face and he’s really an annoying character,” he said in an angry tone before going back to reading.

Mikey sighed again, “Frank you have come to me too many times for me not to tell him, I should have told him a long time ago. Was I supposed to let you take care of him with no thank you or anything for any longer?” he closed his book, marking his spot.

“Yes! I would have loved for you to do that,” Frank went quiet after that sentence, and they stayed silent for a while

“Why..?” Mikey looked confused as he spoke.

“I would rather him not know,” he answered simply.

“Yeah, but like, why?”

“I didn’t want him to know how-” he thought about his words for a moment, “I didn’t want him to know how much I care,” he put emphasis on the word Much, looking at the ground of the living room.

“I feel like that something affecting you so much should be told to the person affecting you,” Mikay paused. “I’m sorry for telling Gerard that you take care of him,” he apologized.

“And?”

“And punching him after,” he looked down.

“Thank you, just don’t tell him anything else pretty please,” Frank sat back in his chair, relaxing as he opened his book again.

Mikey agreed, going back to reading his book and glancing at Frank every once and a while. He didn’t seem that mad anymore.

~~~~~

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