Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Haerin is her roommate. Haerin is nice. Haerin cleans up after herself—never leaving any dirty plates or laundry. Haerin remembers to buy toiletries (and even snacks for her and Hanni). Haerin is thoughtful of their shared space. 

She can conclude Haerin is kind, she appreciates her mere presence. 

Haerin is pretty. 

The thing is, Danielle never really thought of it until now. 

When Danielle moved in with Hanni and Haerin, to “cheat the ways of capitalism” (as explained by Hanni)—she simply categorized Haerin as 'Hanni’s friend who is quiet but dependable!’

They never really spoke much, Hanni being their source of connection as otherwise, their schedules were always conflicting. 

With Haerin usually staying up late into the night, and Danielle an early riser (right as Haerin is going to sleep)—they would simply exchange a “Good afternoon” when Haerin woke up before said girl went to her classes. 

Most of their ‘longer’ interactions were when their friend group got together, or Hanni was present. But, never one-on-one. 

It’s not that Danielle did not want to get to know Haerin better! She just deemed there was never a good opportunity. 

It didn’t help that the both of them kept to themselves around each other, Haerin always minded her business silently. So, out of respect, Danielle did the same and made a mental note to not intrude on Haerin’s personal life—unless explicitly shared with her. 

In contrast, Danielle would say she’s a pretty open book. 

Ask her anything and she’ll answer it honestly, she feels more connected to people with shared experiences and that means telling things about herself. Whether it was a fond or embarrassing memory, Danielle would gladly share it with whomever—as long as they’d bond over it and form a stronger connection. 

But for once, Danielle couldn’t pinpoint how to go about it with Haerin, because all Haerin would do is blink slowly at her with feline eyes and nod along.

She could tell the shorter girl was listening at the very least, attentively even. But, it always made Danielle overthink if she was speaking too much and Haerin found it bothersome or even worse, uncomfy. 

Thus, ever since then, she made sure to give Haerin her space. 

However, this started 3 months ago. 

Now, the pandemic has hit. And Danielle Marsh is once again stuck in figuring out the phenomenon who is Haerin Kang.

It doesn’t really sink in for Danielle when they have their first group Zoom call. 

It’s a bit silly, watching Hyein flicker through different backgrounds—one ended up being a (unflattering) sleeping picture of Hanni (she had drool and everything), in which the elder shrieked for it to be taken down. 

Her shriek echoed through the walls of their shared apartment, she’s pretty sure even Hyein and Minji could hear those echoes. 

This means Hyein and Minji would have heard the shriek at least three times over. In probably a bass-boosted format (with how computer speakers can’t handle such a noise as compared to in-person). 

“Hyein, when I get my hands on you again, it’s so over!” Hanni threatens, pointing at her screen and all. 

“God, calm down! I can’t go to an ear doctor if you make me deaf, everything’s closed down.” Hyein seethes. She switches her background back to that of a cute river otter. 

“–which, by the way, sucks absolute balls,” Minji interjects with a groan, the pixels on her screen depict the eldest planting her head down on her desk. 

“Right? I can’t go and fight Hanni on my own now. Hey, Dani, could you go to Hanni’s room and give her a knack on the shoulder?” Hyein requests with a rasp and a grin on her face. 

Danielle swears she could see fumes coming out of Hanni’s ears, now she almost feels like barging into Hanni’s room to make sure her temperature is okay (despite the room’s AC always being set at 16 degrees Celsius).

Before Danielle could choose to decline or accept the request, a knock on her open door makes her look up from the screen.

Haerin is standing at her doorway, awkwardly scratching at her nose while mumbling out: “I can’t find my charger, can I join you?” And that’s when Danielle finally notices Haerin (nicknamed: tomato frog) is no longer in the Zoom.

She pats a spot next to her on the bed, nodding. “Get over here! We got to plot against Hanni.” 

They both giggle when they hear a "What?!” from across the hallway and through Danielle’s speaker, Haerin shuffles herself beside Danielle to peek at the laptop screen too.

“That’s it, I’m coming over.” 

True to her words, they can hear stomps from the hallway and eventually a Hanni Pham appearing at the very same doorway—grumbling all the way as she makes her spot on Danielle’s other side.

“Hyein, I can’t get to you. But, I can get my hands on Dani and Haerin,” She spits back at the screen with furrowed eyebrows. 

Danielle rolls her eyes, she knows Hanni is all talk and no bite. “Oh no, whatever shall I do?” She dramatically sighs. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” Haerin snickers, surprising Danielle—but she plays along. 

She lets herself fall into the arms of Haerin’s gray hoodie, laughing aloud. “Thank you, my savior Kang.” Danielle hums. 

“My pleasure.” Savior Kang in question continues, chuckling too—and Danielle can feel her chest rise up. 

Hanni fakes a gag and sticks out her tongue with crossed arms. Meanwhile, in the distance, Danielle can make out Minji saying: “Be like Haerin, we all know Dani doesn’t deserve that.” 

Hyein gasps. “So you’d rather I get hit?!”

“I mean…”

Then, Hyein switches her background to one of Minji’s feet, and a whole other chaos ensues (‘cause how does Hyein have that in the first place?).

It feels the same as always, the five of them continue to bicker together throughout the night—even without physical contact, their dynamic is still the same, and Danielle is grateful. 

She continues to stay in Haerin’s arms while Hanni eventually lays her head on Danielle’s lap. It’s all comfy for them.

This can’t be so bad, Danielle remembers thinking.

It turned out to be very bad. At least for Danielle.

When things such as work and classes start to adjust and accommodate a lockdown lifestyle, that’s when things start sinking in for Danielle. 

She understands the importance of it all, truly, of course, she’d rather they all stayed inside for the sake of health.

She’d do anything in her power to help for the greater good—Danielle always believed in that (ever since she heard of those various fairy tales as a kid, where good triumphs evil, always)—even if it’s just something small, she knows it will amount to something.

But, it’s all becoming just maybe-slightly-actually-a-lot overwhelming for her. 

Not only does she have to adjust to constantly using her devices, including social media (Danielle never saw the appeal of it—she preferred talking to people face-to-face over texting so she accepted this begrudgingly), but she feels deprived. 

It’s no secret she loves people, and she thrives in group harmony. But, it’s hard to feel that harmony through a screen, and Danielle has never craved that feeling so much until this past week.

Basically, Danielle Marsh is the textbook definition of an extrovert—and she takes this role to heart.

Hanni and Haerin are still good company, they now (used to) have Monopoly nights. (Which usually ended in Hanni being bankrupt, Haerin gloating, and Danielle just having to beam.)

As things adjust to online though, it’s hard to have a night where they’re all free. 

They’ve now mostly gone back to their regular routine—except it’s all now in the comfort of their shared apartment space, which sometimes gets a bit too cramped, yet also so lonely too—at least in Danielle’s eyes.

Hanni’s always working on her next art piece and coursework, (Danielle still tries and talks to her as she does so, but she also has enough emotional intelligence to know that she just has to leave Hanni alone right now) and sometimes she leaves to go to the nearby art studio. 

Leaving Danielle with Haerin, who’s gone back to having a completely opposite sleep schedule to her.

Sometimes, she does call Minji and Hyein in her own time, but they’ve also got their own schedules and everything is just hard and not the same. 

Because all Danielle wants to do is have the five of them, together, in physical contact, where she could hug Minji and tiptoe to pat Hyein’s head—as they tease Hanni, of course, without the delay from a phone speaker (and she always sees Haerin at the corner of her eyes).

It was one of those days when Hanni had left for the art studio, and when she came back, Danielle confided in her. 

“I get if you’re sick of hearing my voice, and like, I know it’s your final coursework, but it’s just hard. I’m so bad at this. I need to talk to someone, always. Ugh.” Danielle fumbles out, ending it off with a groan. 

Hanni sips on her mug filled to the brim with coffee, presumably to give her enough caffeine to work through the night on one of her artistic endeavors. 

“Nah, bro, I totally get it.” She hums out with a sigh and places her mug back on the small wooden dinner table. “And, thank you for understanding that I do need the space to work right now.” 

Then, Hanni tilts her head towards the hallway that leads to their three separate bedrooms—she snickers and rests her cheek against her palm. “Why always me, though? Why don’t you try and talk to Haerin?” She suggests.

Danielle stammers and scratches the back of her neck, pulling at her soft pink sleep shirt. “Uh, I don’t know, she seems to– you know?” Danielle gestures a wide circle to Hanni as if the other girl could telepathically understand it.

“No, I don’t know. What are you trying to say, Marsh?” Hanni raises an eyebrow. 

“I just, I just feel like she would prefer to be alone? Our days don’t align at all, and I don’t want to bother her? I don’t know. My emotions are all over the place,” Danielle garbles it all in one beautiful mess of a breath. 

She can feel Hanni judging her from her gaze. She doesn’t like it. 

Hanni scoots backward from her chair to get up, taking the mug in her hands and taking one last gulp before looking straight at Danielle’s eyes.

Danielle notes that Hanni is one of the few people she sometimes can’t tell—what exactly is she thinking? 

It makes her feel like someone drove a nail in her throat. She gulps evidently. 

“Honestly, you two always seemed the most awkward together. But, come on, this is so not like you.”

Hanni then grasps at Danielle’s wrist and hoists her out of her own seat, and it feels like a whirlwind as Danielle finds herself getting pushed towards the front of Haerin’s intimidating-looking (even though it’s the regular oak wood all their rooms have) door. 

Danielle looks over at Hanni mouthing out “What the fuck?” to which Hanni similarly mouths “Just go! She doesn’t bite!”

The taller girl furiously shakes her head, and Hanni doesn’t seem to take no for an answer, because instead of leaving Danielle to scamper away to her room—she knocks and then pushes the door open. 

“Hey, Haerin. Get up!” 

“Huh?”

There, Haerin lies sprawled on her bed. When she turns her head to the voice of the intruder, she hurriedly sits upright—her legs crisscrossed. 

“It’s time for a roommate intervention, but like, without me. You guys go talk.” 

With that, Hanni stomps out of the room (noted that the two could hear an “Ow!” from the hallway and they thankfully share a giggle over it, then silence enveloped them again). 

They stare at each other and it feels suffocating for a good five seconds to focus on anything, much less speak up, until Haerin does it herself.

“So… Um, you want to sit?” 

Danielle nods wordlessly, she actually doesn’t know what to say—except follow through with Haerin’s offer and she plops down next to her, laying down with her hands folded on her lap and staring at the ceiling (if she looks directly at Haerin again, she’s made an observation that she gets even more nervous, and that’s not what she needs right now). 

Haerin, however, seems to have no problem looking down at Danielle and tilting her head. 

“Are you alright?”

And, that thing with Danielle Marsh being an open book, how she feels sharing her own worries helps her connect more with people, and her current yearning for such a connection—it always gets the best of her. 

Even with someone, she’s so unsure about, like Haerin Kang.

“I like people too much, and now it’s biting me in the ass,” is how Danielle started. 

Sometimes, she curses herself for how easily she can say things to people. 

But, it feels like that’s just how she wires. 

So, she starts to spill out her feelings to Haerin—all while staring up at a ceiling (it’s giving way too much therapy vibes for Danielle’s liking, truthfully). 

Throughout the 10 minutes Danielle refused to look at Haerin’s eyes, probably out of embarrassment, she can still feel Haerin’s eyes gazing down at her with affirming hums accompanying them. 

It makes it easier. 

“I understand why this has to happen. This lockdown, you know? A pandemic is no joke. But, it’s just, it’s hard. It’s hard to adjust to a life where I can’t get my main source of energy, I guess. Not to mention, I have to figure out how to do everything online now. I’m not a grandma, I swear, but I just like physical contact so much. It’s so much easier to learn and work that way. In a library, in a classroom, at a café, stuff like that.” 

She gets up and huffs out, flicking the usually made-up bangs (but these days, she can’t be bothered to do them right) that accompany her wolf cut to the side. “I try to be positive but– yeah. I guess I just had to talk to someone.”

“I hear you.”

Danielle finally turns to look at Haerin as she speaks out, and that’s when she notices Haerin doesn’t, at least,  look  like her usual self. 

For one, she looks more tired. Danielle notes she kinda resembles a raccoon right around now, eyebags being prominent and all, while raccoons in Danielle’s humble opinion are adorable (and maybe to an extent, Haerin is adorable too)—it’s concerning, to say the least.

She feels worry bubbling up in her chest.

Even with this now-discovered state of Haerin, she brings forth a soft smile. 

“I’m glad you could talk to me, Dani. I can’t say I really relate but… If it’s anything, you can always talk to me. Don’t worry about my ear going off or something.” She nods firmly, and it makes Danielle almost coo at how seriously Haerin took her melodramatic monologue. 

Instead of thanking the thoughtful girl in front of her, Danielle, of course, blurts out.

“Are you okay?”

Haerin does her signature slow blink back at Danielle. If she could, she’d command the earth to swallow her whole right now. 

“I– I’m sorry,” Danielle stammers out and immediately shifts her gaze, she was doing so well, damn it. “I do appreciate the sentiment! I’m thankful, really! It’s just–” 

She takes a peek to look at Haerin, most of her still obscured by her hair. “I couldn’t help but notice, you just look kinda tired.” 

With that, Haerin physically relaxes and lets out a scuffed laugh. “Is this what Hanni meant by roommate intervention?”

“You know her, she just says things. You know, without thinking.”

“True that.” 

“But… You can talk to me too, yeah?” Danielle redirects back to her concern. (To calm the pang in her chest, too.)

Haerin reaches her hand out hesitantly and pats Danielle’s head. This is the second time Danielle has now asked  “What the fuck?”  except this time, it’s mentally to herself. 

She hates how her cheeks flare up instinctively and decides to blame it on the fact she hasn’t had much physical contact in a good while—much less from Haerin. 

“Thank you. It’s mostly just things with school,” Haerin explains simply. “Hopefully it does calm down. But if anything, I’ll come to you.” 

With that, Danielle beams. She does like being relied on. 

“Then, you think ‘roommate intervention’ was a success?”

Haerin fake-ponders, now tapping her finger to her chin. “Maybe fifty-fifty.”

“Hey? I thought we were having a moment!” Danielle whines.

“You’re silly! Of course, it was a success since it was us together.”

After that, they begin talking more, and it’s not just mundane topics like Monopoly, bullying Hanni, or what to eat for dinner. 

They have actual conversations! Danielle couldn’t be happier, honestly.

Maybe it’s just her craving for connection hitting her again, but when you feel you’re finally getting along with someone that is under the same roof as you—especially in these circumstances—she can’t help and feel proud.

Just yesterday, Haerin was showing her sketchbook and afterward, Danielle found herself, all giddy and kicking her feet in bed. 

(She’s not sure why it got her so worked up, she can’t pinpoint it right now. Maybe it’s because it feels a sketchbook is something so personal to an individual? 

But, what Danielle does know is that Haerin helps her through this, by just being there. It’s made her appreciate her presence, and now it seems once again the lockdown isn’t so bad. 

She finds out Haerin was earnest when she told Danielle her ears wouldn’t fall off, no matter how much Danielle went to bother her. 

Every single time without fail, Danielle feels heard and listened to, with Haerin asking questions that help her expand on whatever topic her mind has conjured up to talk about today. 

This has made Haerin rise up exceptionally on her ‘people to turn to’ list.

She sincerely hopes Haerin can feel the same around her too.

Maybe that’s why she got so giddy, it felt like confirmation Haerin was comfy with her too.)

(“You draw a lot of tomatoes and frogs, what’s up with that?”

“I like tomatoes. I like frogs.”

“Ah, that’s why your name was tomato frog! So cute.”

“That’s because I’m a frog, obviously.”

“What are you saying… You’re a cat.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah huh.”)

Danielle is too busy smiling to herself to the point her cheeks hurt at the remembrance of the conversation, too indulged to notice Hanni sneaking up next to her.

“You look happier.”

Danielle yelps. 

“What the hell, man!”

Hanni snorts and stretches her arm to ruffle Danielle’s hair. “Don’t get so hostile, I was just making an observation,” acting all smug up in Danielle’s face. 

She reaches up to shake her head and fix her hair while mumbling “You could’ve at least made your presence known in a calmer manner, your highness.”

“Oh, piss off.” 

“You love me.”

Hanni rolls her eyes and perches herself on the kitchen counter, now looking down at Danielle—swinging her feet when she asks. “But, yeah, what’s got you to change your spirits?” 

Danielle knows the answer, but if there’s one thing she’s not going to do, it's give Hanni the satisfaction of being essentially the catalyst of Danielle’s high spirits. 

“After a while, you just begin to adjust to things,” she instead says, nodding firmly.

“Yeah, right,” Hanni mocks, blowing a raspberry. “Now tell me the real reason.” 

Speaking of the Devil (more like ‘comfort’ these days in Danielle’s vision), Haerin walks in—sporting an oversized baseball tee that makes her look smaller, plus her bed hair, and this now adds a +1 to the number of times Danielle had the urge to coo at Haerin.

“Haerin! Good timing! Help me!” Danielle immediately jogs to cling to Haerin’s side, hugging her arm. “Hanni’s interrogating me. Protect me, savior Kang?”

“Right, princess.” Haerin scoffs but doesn’t push Danielle away and she plays along, so it can be taken as a win. Right?

Hanni stares with raised eyebrows, before yawning. 

“Nah, you know what? You two can have fun with your weird roleplay.” 

Haerin grimaces. “What do you mean by that?”

“It means I’ve seen enough!” Hanni yells as she makes her way back to her room. 

It’s another day when Hanni has left for the art studio, Danielle’s all alone—at least until Haerin wakes up from her much-needed slumber. 

She’s learned that most of the time when Haerin is up late (which seems to be always), is that it’s got to do with her anthropology classes giving so many group projects (rather than actual teaching, you can’t learn all about the development of humans like this!!), especially after the switch to online learning.

Danielle admires Haerin’s work ethic, (she knows the value of hard work too, being someone that likes to be on top of deadlines as well) but she also wishes the girl would give herself a break once in a while. 

She always seems to be taking the lead for others, so she wants to take the lead in helping Haerin.

That’s why today Danielle brought the task upon herself to make Haerin some nice afternoon breakfast, in the form of pancakes. 

When Haerin woke up to Danielle and a tray by her side, she got a fright—flinching and pulling the blanket up to her eyes—and okay, yeah, maybe Danielle shouldn’t have just sat and waited for Haerin to wake up like that. (But, can you blame her when the girl looked so peaceful?)

“You scared me!” Haerin exhales, letting down the blanket. 

“I’m so sorry!” Danielle makes out through a fit of laughter, hugging Haerin’s head—who just groans. 

“But, hey, look. I made you something,” Danielle lets go of Haerin to gesture toward the tray. Three pancakes lay on top of each other, with butter and syrup on the side (yes, she’s quite proud of herself).

“You made these? For me?”

Danielle almost pities Haerin for how stunned she seemed to be.

“Mhm, I have declared today a rest-for-Haerin day. So, get snuggled in your blanket again and scooch over. We’re gonna binge Gilmore Girls before it gets taken off Netflix.”

(At some point, they both dozed off on Haerin’s bed, getting woken up by Hanni banging pans together.)

Hanni ends up being the catalyst for Danielle’s downfall, too. 

Has the Pandemic Changed Dating? Surveys Say More Roommates are Getting Together

Danielle falls off her bed when she reads the article sent by Hanni in their shared group chat. 

minji and hyein told me to share!!! Followed by a smiley and thumbs-up emoji, her text reads. 

Her face feels hot, and it’s not just from pure annoyance toward Hanni for dropping this out of nowhere. 

“Danielle? Are you alright?” Haerin suddenly appears through the doorway. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m all good,” she manages to squeak out and sit straight again—and she finds that Haerin isn’t even looking at her. 

“Well, uh, that’s good. I’ll be in my room.” Haerin hurriedly states and walks briskly off, leaving Danielle confused and on the floor. 

She’s sure to give Hanni an earful later because now it feels like she’s back to square one with Haerin Kang. 

“Why would you do that?” Danielle immediately confronts her, after dragging Hanni by the arm the moment she got home. 

“Connect the dots and think, Dani,” Hanni huffs, swatting Danielle’s hand off her. “I’m not trying to say something, but I’m trying to say something.” 

“No, stop, we just finally got close!” Danielle almost wants to stomp her feet but decides to simply bury her face into her hands. “Now it feels awkward all over again.” 

Hanni puts her hands on her hips and sighs. "Maybeee, it’s a tad fast,” she drawls. “However, you can’t deny you guys got some serious chemistry for only getting close recently.”

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

“I will gladly be if it means something happens between you and Haerin in the afterlife.”

“Stop that. Nothing will happen, especially after this.”

“Fine,” Hanni admits in defeat. “There goes my plan of not having to deal with the two of you.”

Danielle lightly shoves at her. “What do you gain from that?”

“Happiness,” Hanni sneers. "And probably less gray hairs." 

Chapter Text

Despite her protests, Danielle can’t stop thinking about it after that.

She actually reads the article—although it isn’t one of quality, it was mostly interviews between various roommates who have “gotten together” over this pandemic. 

(It was like a reality show, but in text, and if anyone has watched a single episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, they would know what media is like if you pry into people's lives. Entertaining but at what cost?)

Danielle feels guilty.

For what? She’s not sure.

…At least she tries to convince herself she’s not sure, and it has nothing to do with a certain roommate, whom her other roommate implied she should get together with. 

(A roommate who had a fond appreciation for oversized hoodies and baseball shirts. A roommate who always gave her undivided attention whenever she did talk to her. A roommate who has the cutest pout and softest eyes, and, recently, Danielle can’t help and feel this ache in her chest brewing to dote and protect her.)

Yeah, so, it has nothing to do at all with Haerin. 

It has everything to do with Haerin. 

The thought lingers, and she feels guilty and helpless and just bad. 

Because, well, Haerin did and does take care of her well (albeit these days, it’s more from a distance)—but she has no idea how Haerin feels about the whole ordeal, and it’s kinda scary, especially when she knows Haerin has a lot on her plate as well. 

Danielle thought that the longer she just avoided Haerin, the more it would all just go away—and she could view Haerin as strictly platonic once again, without thinking of the unnecessary 'what ifs?’

There are two problems with this, however. 

1. You can’t avoid someone you’re living with.
2. Haerin is unpredictable.

These obstacles come to Danielle’s realization when she attempted to test her theory of avoidance, and of course, miserably failed as a result. 

(And, maybe, it’s also thanks to the fact Danielle doesn’t really want to not interact with Haerin—when she does let her.)

The sparse amount of times Haerin acknowledges Danielle briefly and vice versa has done the opposite effect, really. 

It’s made Danielle hyper-aware of Haerin, even. 

(She remembers when Hanni first informed Danielle that another person would be living with them. 

“Is there anything I have to know about her?”

“About Haerin?”

Hanni stays silent for a moment, before shrugging.

“You can’t really tell what’s on her mind.”

“What do you mean?” Danielle furrowed her eyebrows. She doesn’t like not being able to tell.

“She’s in her head a lot, and sometimes does stuff even I can’t predict.” Hanni huffs, blowing at her bangs. “Even though I’ve known her since high school, she’s a tough one.”

Danielle bites at her lip.

“But, I know she wouldn’t hurt a fly, much less you.”)

This time, she ends up ranting to Minji. 

Minji’s also pretty high up on Danielle’s list of ‘people to turn to’. There’s many reasons for why Danielle loves her and has, as a result, placed her this high. 

For starters, Minji reminds Danielle of an anchor—in that she helps them keep grounded in reality. Especially these days with the state of the world, she ensures everyone doesn’t overthink too much to the point they become overwhelmed and fall into an emotional pit. 

She does it in a way that’s just so Minji, and Danielle really admires her for that. She guesses it comes with the responsibilities of being the eldest amongst their friends, maybe she feels obligated to—but she knows Minji can be honest about her feelings like her too, albeit in a more private sense. 

Danielle noticed that, besides Hanni, it seems Haerin is the closest to Minji in their small circle.

The two do have a lot of similar traits from what she’s observed—both more practical than the other three—though it’s easy to say Minji likes to make her presence more known than Haerin, who prefers to stay on the sidelines. 

It’s also important to note that Minji is blunter than Haerin.

“How exactly do I help you in this?” She asks Danielle with a straight face on FaceTime. 

Danielle groans into her rabbit pillow, in the comfort of her bed, which was in the comfort of her room. 

For the majority of lockdown so far, she only stayed in her room if she had a meeting or to do any work that required her focus. However, due to recent events, it’s slowly turned into an escape from the aloof gaze of Haerin—she really didn’t mean to. 

“I don’t know? Give me advice? What am I supposed to do? I hate this, it feels even more suffocating than before,” Danielle further explains. “All thanks to you, Hanni, and Hyein!” 

Minji merely hums. “Question, though.”

“Hit me.”

“Why does it matter now?”

Danielle tilts her head with wide eyes, and Minji clocks in and she has to clarify. “I mean, you two weren’t really close before, right? Why is it bothering you so much that it’s kind of, you know, back to how it was?”

Danielle shakes her head and kicks at her blanket. “You don’t get it! I’ve been wanting to get closer to her, and then– bam! It’s back to how it was. It feels like such a waste,” she whines. “Plus, I can’t keep going to Hanni to, you know, talk.”

“You have me and Hyein, though.”

“That’s not the same!”

“Riiiight,” Minji slurs. “Or, I don’t know, maybe you have been seeing her in a different light? Missing her much?” She gives a shit-eating grin and Danielle just wants to deflate. 

“I’ll hang up on you. Right here, right now.”

“No!” The elder shouts, and it makes Danielle giggle. “Okay, okay, fine, I’ll help you out,” Minji admits defeat while raising her arms.

“In all honesty,” she begins. “You’ll have to make the first move, you know? I think she’s probably as cautious as you right now, and someone has to.”

Danielle does end up feeling like she’s deflating with a heavy wheeze.

Unlike what Minji had advised, Haerin once again surprises her by breaking the act of not acknowledging each other first, right when Danielle was heading to bed. 

(She puts up the act of pretending to not notice.)

“Could you help me?” Haerin is standing at her doorway, again.

It gives an odd sense of familiarity to Danielle, and it makes her heart soar—but she still decides to approach cautiously, like any wrong move would make Haerin run away again. 

“What happened?”

“I…” Haerin looks to the side, suddenly finding Danielle’s door knob so interesting (and Danielle can see a dust of pink on her cheeks). “It’s got something to do with my assignment, you do criminology, right? We’re doing a section on criminal behavior and possible explanations.”

A pause. “And, well, maybe I needhelpwithcanva.” 

She says the final words so rapidly, that if someone weren’t paying attention, they’d have no idea what Haerin was asking for. 

Fortunately, Danielle caught every single syllable.

With that, she gives a smile and a firm nod. It seems Haerin does remember she can still talk to her.

(“What’s that?” Haerin once asked from behind her—before Hanni had sent the article, and when Danielle was sitting peacefully on the living room sofa with a laptop on her lap. 

“A poster I made on canva,” Danielle hums in response. “We’re posting it on the Baking Society’s Instagram page. It’s just some recipes our members, students—anyone can make while stuck at home.” 

Haerin tilts her head and leans down to place it on Danielle’s shoulder from behind the sofa, gripping on the edge of it. 

Danielle fails to stifle a giggle from the way Haerin’s long, dark brown hair tickles at her neck. 

On the laptop screen illuminates her creation, and that’s probably why Haerin leaned in—to take a closer look. 

It’s cute (Haerin right now is too), in her humble opinion, lots of pastel colors and big bubble text to emphasize each recipe's names—with an equally aesthetic photo of the dish to accompany it and a smaller description of the ingredients and steps. 

“It’s pretty,” Haerin concludes. “Very you.”

“Are you saying I’m pretty? Thank you,” Danielle teases.

“Maybe.” Before Danielle could react, Haerin’s warmth has left her and she’s stood up straight, proclaiming: “You should bake those recipes for us, too.”

“Oh. Yeah, of course.”)

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Haerin repeats while squeezing Danielle’s arm, and Haerin’s gratitude almost makes her flustered. 

They spent the rest of the evening doing a ‘Canva 101’ crash course as taught by Danielle, her student being Haerin—making a pretty detailed brochure for Haerin’s assignment. 

Originally, Haerin explained, it was supposed to be a slideshow as that was her forté—but her professor wanted her to present something different, and Danielle guesses the poster she made for the Baking Society stuck out to her.

(It kinda makes her feel a sense of pride, a stroke to her ego, knowing Haerin thought of her.)

“How can I repay you?” Haerin takes her eyes off the screen and to the side—staring directly at Danielle’s face for the first time in a long  while.

Danielle’s gut instinct and the default answer is to reply: “No worries about it.” 

But, instead, she replies: 

“Cuddle with me.”

“Excuse me?”

Danielle squeaks and wishes she could zip her mouth closed and throw it far off into, like, the pacific ocean or something. “I mean–”

“Okay,” Haerin interrupts her. “It’s an interesting payback, but, okay.”

“You don’t have to–” 

“I want to.”

Danielle feels relief flooding in.

That’s how they found each other doing the deed on their living room couch, even though Haerin herself said she wanted to—Danielle never knew cuddling could feel so stifling. 

Haerin’s breathing on her neck right now, and she doesn’t feel like laughing this time. She feels tense, wondering if Haerin can feel it too—hear the rummaging in her chest from her constant-beating heart. 

“You really don’t have to do this,” Danielle once again murmurs into the top of Haerin’s head (it turns out Haerin’s the little spoon by default). 

Instead of Haerin robotically repeating that it’s okay, she looks up at Danielle from burrowing her head into her chest and squints. “Danielle, I’ve been saying it’s alright. Did I do something?”

Danielle is forced to look at Haerin now that she brought her head up—she shakes her own as an answer. “It’s not that. I don’t want to force you.”

“You’re not forcing me.”

“It feels like it.”

With that, Danielle loosens herself around Haerin, sitting up and ready to scamper away back to the safe haven that is her room (maybe hug her rabbit pillow and pretend it’s Haerin rather).

However, the younger grab at her wrist and softly nudges at it—signaling Danielle to lay back down in her position from before. 

“Don’t go,” she calls out, voice significantly fainter and small. “Talk to me.”

It could be concluded that Danielle is a weak girl, the way she immediately laid back down and draped her arm around Haerin’s figure—pulling them close again.

“I know you need this, like…” Danielle can feel Haerin’s chest expand and contract. “Physical contact. I’m happy to give it, what’s wrong?”

Danielle tenses again, and she lets the cat out of the bag.

“You remember that article, right? The one Hanni sent?” She further clarifies.

“Oh,” Haerin’s chest has contracted. “Yes?”

“I’ve been worried since then,” Danielle gulped and hopes Haerin didn’t notice how her throat bobbed. “I kept wondering and wanting to ask you if everything is still alright—but it seemed we just kept avoiding each other.” 

She finally asks: “How do you feel about it?”

There’s a beat before Haerin pushes Danielle slightly, now there’s a distance between their laying bodies, and they can see each other even clearer. 

(Danielle’s always thought Haerin’s eyes are captivating, unique to the girl herself, ever since she first laid her own eyes on them—it was the first thing she noticed and it’s stuck with her ever since. 

She thought about complimenting Haerin on them genuinely, but on second thought found that it would be too weird and, for whatever reason, Danielle was too embarrassed to do so.

Sometimes, she even finds herself staring at Haerin—when she’s not noticing Danielle—just to observe the way the younger’s eyes move.

It makes her mind numb sometimes at how easy it is to get lost in them.)

“I’m sorry for making you worry,” Haerin mumbles. “I thought you needed space. I think, to an extent, I needed space too. I was caught off guard,” her brows furrowed. As if Haerin was trying to carefully pick her words. 

Danielle doesn’t want her to, though—she wants Haerin’s honesty unfiltered, but if that’s what gets the girl across from her to talk, then she supposes it’s alright. 

She hums in understanding. “I get it, especially since it was heavily implied… That… You know? We should get together?” Danielle ends the last bit in a whisper like it’s a forbidden statement. 

“Yeah. Yeah, exactly that.” 

“But I don’t want us to become awkward over this,” Danielle admits firmly. “I really enjoy your company. Haerin, you’ve been helping me so much.”

Haerin’s former-wide eyes calm down (as Danielle has always observed them, she has memorized their movement). 

“That makes me happy to hear because I feel the same.”

“I missed you,” Danielle blurts out.

Haerin breathes, “I missed you too.”

“Hm,” Danielle then pushes Haerin back closer to her—they’re making contact again. “Now cuddle,” She humps. 

Haerin laughs “Clingy.” She says, yet snuggles into Danielle more. “But, we’re cool, right?” She muffledly asks. 

“We’re cool.”

“Cool.”

(They doze off again together on the living room couch—Hanni doesn’t wake them up this time. 

Instead, when Danielle wakes up first and cautiously grabs her phone on the side table, careful not to wake Haerin up by still holding her close, she finds a notification from Hanni that reads:  sleep tight lmao.  Attached is a picture of her and Haerin at such a close distance, which she never realized.

She immediately locks her phone in a flustered state, closing her eyes and going back to hugging Haerin.

It’s the best sleep Danielle has had in nights.) 

After this, Haerin becomes clingier (when she dared to call Danielle clingy?). 

It sort of gives Danielle whiplash from how quickly they went back to their normal interactions again—how seamless it all was. It makes the whole ordeal seem foolish in the first place.

She’s idle on a call with Hyein when the youngest of their group mentions: “Haerin’s been talking about you a lot.”

“She has been?” Danielle’s alert again.

“Mhm, it’s always Danielle and I did this today, or Danielle and I watched that, or or Danielle mentioned this today.”

Hyein’s clicking at her mechanical pen and slouching to the side while speaking. Usually, the sound of it would make Danielle’s eyes twitch—but right now she feels even her ears burning.

“Do you know why she is?”

The youngest of their group merely gives a nonchalant shrug. “Beats me,” she sighs, and for someone like Hyein, who usually has a lot to offer in terms of information—that’s unusual.

There are a lot of things about Hyein that Danielle herself can appreciate, mostly the absurdity of her actions. But it’s in a good way—one that brings Danielle entertainment into her life, and she believes without Hyein in this world, the sun would shine less. 

Anyone can go to her, and they’re guaranteed a reaction. Maybe that’s why Haerin keeps talking to her about their endeavors together. 

She’s still curious though, so Danielle presses on.

“Did she say anything… Bad?”

Hyein bursts out laughing, and it seems her internet connection isn’t stable the way her laughter keeps getting cut off.

“Hey, it’s a genuine question!”

“Oh, Dani, you’re too funny–” Hyein wheezes. “As if Haerin could ever speak badly about you.  That’s like speaking bad about, I don’t know, the Teletubbies sun baby.” 

“You’re the baby here.”

“Yet the tallest.”

“Still, my precious Hyein baby.”

“Enough!” Hyein whines like a kid, and Danielle grins widely. “But, yeah, I think Haerin likes you too much.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Danielle isn’t satisfied with the answer but decides it would be best to drop the subject for now. If anything, she could talk to Haerin about it.

“I see,” she murmurs, then changes the topic. “Anyway, how are you holding up?” 

“I’m okay.” 

The reply was so immediate and stale for Hyein that Danielle knew it wasn’t true, and she frowned.

“That’s not true.”

“It very much is.”

“Hyein.” Danielle crosses her arms. 

A silence follows afterward, and it’s loud. Hyein sighs into her mic.

“Some days are just hard without you guys.”

“I know.” Danielle purses her lips, and her chest tightens. “I love you, okay? Talk to me whenever.”

“I love you too.”

Haerin’s laying on her lap as they watch another chick flick per Danielle’s request on the television—courtesy of Minji’s Netflix that they all simultaneously use. 

Today, the movie she’s picked out is Legally Blonde (Elle Woods is her role model since she was 10 after all). Danielle would usually be gushing over her  and  Vivian Kensington (and how they should’ve totally gotten together) but instead, her mind is preoccupied. 

Haerin, however, has a tentative expression as she watches the movie play on the screen. Another one of the many reasons she loves—likes—Haerin so much. She pays attention to not only Danielle’s rambles but also her interests. 

Probably why she’s able to talk so much to Hyein about her, apparently.

Yes, the whole ordeal still bothers Danielle—but she realizes she can use this to her advantage instead.

“So,” she begins. “You talk about me to Hyein?”

Haerin immediately squirms, and Danielle ends up having to steady her so she doesn’t fall smack dab into the carpet. On the floor. Where Haerin could seriously be injured.

“I’m not mad! Hey, hey, calm down!” Danielle tries to reassure, but she keeps giggling at Haerin’s overreaction. 

“Why would she even– Ugh, I’m so gonna kill her.”

“Please do not get charged with manslaughter. Who will be my savior against Hanni?” Danielle muses, poking at Haerin’s cheek.

Haerin essentially hisses, and it’s always amazed Danielle how much the girl reminded her of a kitten (it’s why the emoji next to her contact name has always been a black cat—with a recent addition of a white heart). 

“You’re going to tease me now.”

“I won’t.” A lie.

“You will.”

“I just want to know,” Danielle tilts her head down at Haerin on her lap, who’s stubbornly not looking back at her. “Why do you talk about me?”

Haerin still doesn’t look at her when she replies. “It’s simple, I like my days with you. I want to share about them with others.”

It actually takes Danielle aback, making her brain take a little while to process what Haerin’s revealed and get herself back on track with a cough. 

“Ha, do you like me or something?”

“In your dreams, Marsh.”

So, yeah, it’s interesting. But everything’s now alright. The world may be crumbling around them, but they’re okay in this little haven they’ve made with each other (and Hanni) in a small apartment complex. 

Everything will be just fine.

Chapter Text

Danielle does dream.

She dreams about a lot of things—from marine life (where she’s surfing with the dolphins and being able to communicate with them to boot) all the way to realistic ones, like her ideal future (in each vision of this, all 5 of them are still together).

Tonight, she’s taken to a field of sunflowers. It’s mid-day and the sun shines right in her face—but it’s not one out of malice, in the sun’s defense. In fact, Danielle basks in it. 

It’s not like real life where the usual blaring hot weather would absolutely make Danielle fall to her knees, begging Hanni to pass by a 7-Eleven and grab some soft serve (“With what money?!” Hanni would ask).

No, it’s the type of weather where all kinds of creatures would come out and play. And, she can hear it, too—the chirps of sparrows and splashes of fish jumping out of the water—in a stream, she can’t see with her naked eye. 

Danielle walks further into the field, still squinting as she adjusts to the light that contrasts the sheltered woods that protected her from it.

In the middle, stands Haerin.

She’s glowing—Danielle notes—radiant, even. 

Haerin stands with her back turned from her, but even with the lack of expression, it’s almost blinding to Danielle. 

She’s got a white cotton dress with puffed-up sleeves—from her back, she’s sporting a pretty white bow on her brunette hair. And, well, when Haerin turns around—Danielle’s breath hitches. 

Haerin’s not wearing any jewelry or makeup—it’s all simply Haerin. It’s perfect in Danielle’s eyes.

The dress is a V-neck and she notes how it ends right at Haerin’s knees like it was tailored just for her to wear, the rest of Haerin’s legs covered by the array of sunflowers around them.

Similarly, Haerin’s holding a bouquet—filled with lavender and white roses. Haerin blinks at her, those eyes that Danielle has grown fond of, turning wider in realization.

Now with the added sense of an expression—it makes Danielle dizzy when Haerin’s eyes crinkle upwards with a toothy grin.  

Even under the sun, Haerin always has Danielle’s attentiveness to her body language, (Haerin is not too keen on verbally saying what she wants—so she learns Haerin’s wants and needs through this form of communication) and she notes the shorter girl’s cheeks are warm. 

“Danielle,” Haerin calls out, but she can’t find her voice to respond. 

“Will you be mine?”

(Danielle wakes up with a gasp for air before she could reply.)

It reoccurs—Haerin reoccurs the following nights, and each time, when Danielle wakes up, she feels a pit forming in her stomach (and a sudden chill over her spine when it dawns that Haerin isn’t actually beside her). 

Danielle’s not dumb, she’s not naïve and stuck in an optimist world, like others may believe when they see her smiley self. 

She knows why her dreams keep having Haerin in these, bluntly, intimate scenarios. 

(Danielle notes she really has to stop watching rom-coms with Haerin. 

Because why did she have a dream where Haerin was part of the cheer squad, and Danielle was the star player on a high school football team? 

It’s so cliché and overdone—the whole jock and cheerleader trope. She wants to just beat up her brain for even coming up with that.  

Also, Haerin deserves so much better than a shitty high school rom-com. 

Where Danielle and Haerin have milkshake dates, and Haerin gives her cheek kisses after every match, proclaiming how proud she is. 

Danielle ends up giving her jersey to Haerin, and she feels her heart swell up ten times whenever Haerin wears it, ‘MARSH’ being printed in bold on the back.

Okay, actually, maybe she doesn’t mind it so much.)

Danielle’s seen enough TikToks through mindlessly scrolling during this lockdown period, that have depicted someone agonizing when “they” appear in their dreams—which shows how far they’ve fallen.

But, Danielle believes she’s not like that. 

She’s found herself having admiration for many people, and they don’t last for more than a week. Haerin has a lot for Danielle to admire—so it makes sense. Right?

So, Danielle merely has a tiny crush on Haerin. No big deal. 

“I want chocolate milk,” Hanni demands with a straight face to no one in particular. 

“Get it yourself,” Haerin scoffs. 

“How bold of you to ask the art student to do that,” said the art student in question. She humps and goes back to poking at her peas, “You know I can’t afford any time wasted, until, like, I become the next De Vinci.” 

“You’re acting like me and Danielle don’t have our own coursework too.” 

“Shush.” 

It’s a rare time when they’re all together for dinner (they decided on takeout, and unfortunately for Hanni, Steak Escape did not have any chocolate milk), and Haerin is actually speaking more than Danielle at the dinner table—unluckily, it seems Hanni takes notice.

“Hey, what’s gotten into you?” Hanni suddenly switches her attention to Danielle and tilts her head.

“Just thinking,”

“About?”

“Stuff.”

Hanni groans and slams her utensils down on the table (it wasn’t that hard actually, Danielle knows that out of the three of them—Hanni’s the weakest, Danielle’s the strongest, and Haerin sits cutely in the middle—she’s really not that much stronger than Hanni, though). 

“Oh come on, don’t make me try and communicate telepathically with the  both  of you now,” Hanni tsk-es and crosses her arms. “What’s that thing they say about couples? They spend so much time together, they begin acting like one another?”

“Couples?” Hanni suddenly has all of Danielle’s attention.

“Yeah, you and Haerin,” 

Danielle’s blood turns south, and Haerin scolds Hanni for teasing them.

The first night Danielle spent in their new apartment, she felt homesick.

Sure, it was nice to have more freedom on her own—outside the shackles of having a curfew even though she was already in university—but that doesn’t mean Danielle can’t still miss the sense of familiarity that came from her family home.

In hindsight, it was valid. They moved back to South Korea from Australia after Danielle’s acceptance—and well, it’s a whole new scenery for Danielle who was born and raised there. Her parents merely wanted to make sure she was alright and getting accustomed to the change. 

Despite being someone who she feels naturally gets along with people, it was still hard for her as someone who didn’t live near nor on campus. 

Plus, she didn’t feel that any of the people she met would end in anything fruitful—as in, they’re the kind of people you just get along with for the sake of getting along since you share classes with them. 

That was until she met Hanni—albeit, their first encounter wasn’t one that went smoothly. But, it’s so perfect for the artist that Danielle still thinks back on it fondly. 

She accidentally ran into Hanni as they were both hurriedly heading to their respective classes, to this day they still bicker about who it was that hit who.

Nevertheless, it made Hanni drop her materials and paint, and Danielle apologized profusely (because she knows how expensive art materials can be from her mini journaling phase and stocking up on washi tape). 

“You’re indebted to me!” Hanni suddenly pointed accusingly at Danielle in the middle of her multiple ‘Sorry!'s. It leaves Danielle so perplexed that she has no choice but to give her contacts to Hanni, and after their classes, they made a trip to a nearby Daiso where Danielle paid back for all of Hanni’s spilled paint. 

After that, Hanni didn’t leave her alone.

Hanni isn’t as affectionate as her, but part of Danielle feels like Hanni has a sixth sense for people. She thinks Hanni knew that all Danielle needed right now was a friend, and in her own way, Hanni was there to drag Danielle around and spend time with her—in a way that mattered in Danielle’s eyes.

It was one of those nights when Hanni had texted Danielle earlier in the evening. you wanna hang out? ofc u do. meet me at daiso

They spend the rest of the evening at the mall shopping and trying out roller skating—where both Danielle and Hanni spent the majority of their time clinging for dear life to one another so they don’t fall right on their asses.

But, it leaves them laughing breathlessly when they finally head out of the mall, and they sit in the mall’s courtyard for a bit to catch their breath. 

Danielle had thought it was just pure laughter until a hiccup arose from Hanni and when she turned to her side to look at the older girl—she found her crying through tears.

She ended up holding Hanni’s head to her chest as she cried and cried in the empty courtyard and chilly breeze, and Danielle cried with her too. 

After Hanni finally caught her breath and was reduced to sniffles, she hugged back Danielle and looked at her through strained eyes, and that’s when Hanni first opened up to her about her worries for the future.

It’s normal, Danielle realizes when they spend the rest of their night confessing to one another their dreams, worries, and feelings. It makes Danielle feel more comfortable in the fact she’s not the only one still feeling confused when everyone seems to have gotten it all together.

After that, they made a pact and pinky promise to one another to simply text: meet me at daiso. If one of them ever felt down.

So, the first night they spent in their new apartment—that’s what Danielle had texted Hanni, and Hanni barged into her room without a care in the world.

It’s after the mall incident that Danielle ends up meeting the rest of Hanni’s friends. 

She assumed maybe it was a little embarrassing for Hanni to hang out one-on-one with Danielle again after that, so Danielle just followed along when Hanni waved enthusiastically to three girls at the arcade they went to.

Hyein and Minji are both distinct characters on their own, and it wasn’t hard for Danielle to get the general gist and energy that they bring to the group. 

(“You’re from Australia, right?” Hyein squints at Danielle, she adjusts her sunglasses to fit onto the top of her head. “Is that how you know Hanni?” 

“Hyein, no–“

“Do you have a pet kangaroo? Why aren’t you upside down?”

Minji pinches Hyein’s cheek, who lets out an “Ow! What was that for?”

“Stop interrogating her,” Minji deadpans. “And stop encouraging stereotypes. What the hell do you mean by ‘upside down’?”

“I’m messing around, I just have to know if she’s good for our sensitive Hanni.”

“Who are you calling sensitive?!”)

Haerin, on the other hand, blended in perfectly—or stuck out like a sore thumb (to Danielle). 

That’s alright, Danielle remembers reassuring herself. They’ll get to know each other with time.

director called for me… pls send your thoughts and prayers thanks xoxo

but that means yall get the whole place to yourselves today  

behave!!!!! 

It’s later than usual when Danielle wakes up (maybe Haerin has been rubbing off on her). 

She squints while reading the mini spam of texts Hanni has been sending their group chat as the both of them have dozed off—Hanni likes to send whatever comes to her mind, apparently. But the final 3 texts are the only ones that really stick out to Danielle’s drowsy brain. 

A day all to her and Haerin?  Danielle isn’t really sure if this is (one of her many about Haerin) a dream come true, or a living nightmare. (And what’s with Hanni saying to behave? Does she not have trust in her and Haerin?)

Danielle groans, and she feels her head pounding from thinking about what she thinks of Haerin for even a millisecond. 

Maybe it wasn’t as simple as Danielle thought—but she’s contributed it to the fact she actually knows Haerin and more importantly, lives with her, that’s making it all weird. Unlike her previous hallway crushes. 

Maybe this day won’t be so bad and can solidify it’s not all that serious. 

The worst part to Danielle is she can’t tell anybody how she feels—she knows it’s gonna blow up when it’s revealed one of them may have not-so-platonic feelings for the other after the whole article ordeal, and that’s what their group does not need right now. Especially when they can’t see each other face-to-face, and it’s getting harder to stay connected. 

And she doesn’t want a repeat of avoiding Haerin to get her feelings in check. 

So, despite everything, Danielle decides it’s best to think lightly of this situation. Again, it’s not a big deal. She just has to get over it.

Haerin wakes up at 4PM sharp, 4 hours after Danielle did—groggy with bed hair. But, it doesn’t make Haerin any less adorable in Danielle’s eyes, the way her eyes squint, and she pouts up at Danielle. 

Before Danielle could dwell more on Haerin’s features, she exclaims out loud: "We’re going to do grocery!” Hurriedly going to her own room to get changed, and to hide her cheeks and clenched fists from Haerin’s plain sight.

After some whining from Haerin, Danielle does successfully drag her out, sporting an oversized hoodie with plaid pajama pants and all, to pass by the Costco near their apartment complex. 

Haerin’s still muttering under her breath about how “it was supposed to be Hanni’s turn to get groceries…” Danielle relays to her what Hanni said in the group chat and Haerin hums. 

“That’s no problem, it’s better if I’m with you.”

Danielle doesn’t know what to say, so she just coughs and brings up her Notes app with a list of things to buy.

(But, she knows what she thinks: Haerin is too honest when she’s comfortable with you.)

“Danielleeee,” Haerin slurs while pushing Danielle’s arms back and forth, her other hand holding onto two keychains: one a dog, the other a cat—they’re crocheted and small. “Buy these and match with me.”

Those were not on the list of things to buy from her Notes app, but Danielle decides to humor Haerin. “So, you admit you’re a cat?”

“It’s not that, it’s just that I know you wouldn’t buy it if I got the frog one,” Haerin explains drowsily, still holding firmly onto the keychains.

Danielle looks at their basket that’s already almost filled to the brim with snacks, chocolate milk, fruits, and vegetables (the last two were insisted on by Danielle, with opposition from both Hanni and Haerin). She bites her lips. 

They’re still running on a budget, and she’s not sure if they can really spend their joint savings on things such as keychains—she tries to make a point to let down Haerin easily.

“Well, I mean, who’s going to see those keychains if we’re not going to be on campus?” 

Haerin seems to ponder the question, looking down at the keychains and fiddling with them through her fingers (it makes Danielle almost tear up at how Haerin looks like a kicked kitten—she internally curses herself for being too soft). 

“Does that… Matter though? I want it for us. Just for us.”

Danielle’s a weak woman because she ends up caving in and buying the keychains for her and Haerin; they both put them on the backpacks they usually wear for classes—a black cat for Danielle, and a golden dog for Haerin.

They get back by 6PM—Haerin insisted on carrying all the grocery bags, but not even 5 minutes into their walk back home, Danielle had to help her out as she could even hear Haerin’s pants through her mask.

She assumed Haerin would go waddle back to her room to work on some new assignment from her professors—but instead, Haerin asks with a tilt to her head, after they drop off the reusable grocery bags on the kitchen counter (because save the turtles!): “Wanna hang out together tonight?”

Danielle can’t say no to her. 

The rest of the evening goes as follows: 

• They split up the chores.

(Haerin’s responsible for mopping the floor while Danielle finishes up with laundry, they talk about nonsensical things throughout this such as what color they would be if they were worms on a string. 

Even with a topic like this, Danielle feels like she could listen to Haerin’s voice for a lifetime.)

• They make dinner together. 

(They bicker for a good while about what to eat, Danielle says Haerin has to eat more healthily and Haerin argues she hasn’t gotten sick so what’s the fuss? 

She ends up making Haerin whip up a potato salad with her—more like Haerin laid her head on Danielle’s shoulder as she made the salads—because in no way will she  wait  for Haerin to get sick.)

• They watch a movie. 

(That thing about watching fewer rom-coms with Haerin? It flew out the window the moment it was Haerin, this time, that suggested a rom-com to her. 

They watch But I’m a Cheerleader, and Danielle does have to say it’s interesting, not so stereotypical either—even though Danielle is a sucker for clichés too.

It’s a bit familiar. The way it’s all centered around these two young women filled with yearning, confusion, and a desire to both please others and be true to themselves. 

When this washes over her, she looks at Haerin who’s staring intently at the television, as she normally does when they watch together while munching on her Danielle-made potato salad.)

It’s a good evening. It feels right and normal, and normalcy is rare these days.

After taking a shower and drying her hair, Danielle scrolls on her phone for a bit, only to reply to strictly anything important (which means classes and teachers—she makes a mental apology to Hyein, Minji, and Hanni). 

She only has so much energy, but she didn’t mind spending all of her today with Haerin.

“Can I come in?” Haerin knocks at her open door, she’s standing at the doorway again after showering herself.

Danielle laughs and nods, “You don’t have to keep asking at this point.” She immediately puts her phone down.

Haerin shuffles her way over to her bed, eventually laying on top of Danielle’s stomach. Both of them are under her blanket, with Danielle stroking her hair—laying down too.

“Thank you,” Haerin mutters. Danielle can feel her breath on her skin, it tickles. “For today.”

“I enjoy doing things with you, so stop thanking me, ‘kay?” Danielle quietly murmurs back. 

She glances down and sees Haerin has closed her eyes with a prolonged ‘hm’. 

“Still, it’s hard for me to really be with people. But, it feels seamless with you. I don’t feel my chest ache, and my head doesn’t hurt from thinking about how I should act. It’s rare to find that kind of a person.” Haerin rambles. “I think, I think there’s only one person in this world that’s like that, for each individual.”

And, Danielle has snuggled up to Haerin and dozed off with her enough times to know when the girl is about to sleep—and right as Haerin finished her statement, that familiar sight of her sleeping came. 

“Oh,” Danielle says to both Haerin and herself.

She likes Haerin. Too much. 

That night, Danielle’s conflicted as she lays still on her own bed, in her own room, with the object of her affection sleeping soundlessly on top of her.

Usually, she can sleep pretty easily with Haerin near her—but, not this time and definitely not with this revelation dawning on her.

She hears the jingle of keys and the door clicking open—Hanni’s back and she immediately shuts her eyes to pretend to be asleep as well. 

Danielle makes out a snicker and a tsk when she hears footsteps stop in front of her doorway, before more footsteps and the click of a door ring in her ears, and Danielle breathes again.

She ends up staying up the whole night, silently flickering her eyes between Haerin and her desk clock. 

When the clock finally hits 8AM in bright white, Danielle doesn’t stay with Haerin until she wakes up—like she normally would. (Danielle defends this action in that, it’s different now.)

She slithers out of her bed, careful to not wake up the snoozing girl—making sure to neatly put her Snoopy plushie next to Haerin to watch over her (since she can’t bring herself to). 

Danielle goes for a run, far away from Haerin.

Chapter Text

Haerin finds Danielle sitting on a bench by the river. 

It’s located an easy 5-minute walk from their apartment complex—Haerin likes to go for strolls at any time of the day here, and just, well, sit. Stare out into the water as it streams down, watch it glisten if it’s a sunny day, and listen to the occasional splashes against rocks if it’s at night.

Either way, she closes her eyes and meditates during these times. Let her mind have a break from the constant thinking and planning of her actions toward people. 

However, she didn’t think the perky, upbeat girl she recently moved in with would be here. 

Especially in the dead of the night.

(Admittedly, Haerin was jealous of Danielle. 

The way she assimilated so easily into their little group… At first, it made Haerin just a tad bit upset. 

How she got along with Minji and Hyein so quickly, unlike her, where it took months. 

It’s a bit childish but she really can’t help it—how she wants to scoff and look away whenever Danielle can banter so willingly with the two. She doesn’t know them like Haerin does!

But then, it turned to curiosity. 

Haerin started observing her rather than turning her head—and no matter how hard she tries to understand, it seems it’s just nature for this girl with the loveliest curls, to be a personification of comfort even from afar. 

She concluded that Danielle Marsh’s smile which emits warmth—it’s good enough just to watch. 

Haerin starts admiring her. But she doesn’t dare to touch the sun.)

However, it seems that has to change tonight, at least.

Haerin’s nose scrunches at the smell of booze—alcohol—that fills her nostrils.

(Recognizing it all too well from the numerous parties Hanni has made them all go to, especially at the start of the year. Haerin would have to find herself a corner to stand at, and clench at her solo cup. 

Where she cringes at any drunk person trying to flirt with her and pray Minji takes them home safe—despite her road rage.)

There’s only one potential culprit for this, but Haerin’s not sure if she wants to accept it—because it just seems so otherworldly for it to be coming from her.

An incoherent mumble comes out, a kick to the dirt from said potential culprit breaks Haerin out of her daze.

“Danielle,” Haerin croaks out from behind the bench. She nips at her own lips out of pure uneasiness at the situation, but Haerin knows she can’t leave Danielle out like this. 

(And, a part of her hopes calling for her attention can confirm it’s not Danielle that’s drinking. ‘Cause that’s a whole other can of worms to add to Haerin’s already existing worm collection—worries—while watching Danielle from a distance.)

“Huh?” Danielle slurs and lazily shifts around to face Haerin. Her pupils are wide and crazed, she has furrowed brows and it’s the most frustrated—or even downright angriest—expression Haerin has ever seen from her new roommate.

Haerin blinks at her, and it’s in an instant that Danielle’s expression changes—she’s back to having those twinkle in her eyes, which Haerin has grown fond of merely stealing gazes at. 

“Haerin! Hello!” She waves with a hefty laugh, that makes her chest expand and contract so violently. It gets to a point where she ends up coughing from laughing so hard, Haerin lets out a tsk. 

(Because Danielle needs to take better care of herself! There are sooo many things that could go wrong right now! 

What if she ends up getting sick? Or, or, some weird creep ends up taking advantage of her? 

Maybe it’s a bit absurd for Haerin to care so much for someone she’s not that close with. But, she feels the need and, more importantly, wants to look out for the older girl.

Even if she doesn’t notice.) 

At the corner of her eye, she finds it: a beer can grasped in Danielle’s hand. The culprit is confirmed.

Before Haerin could interrogate Danielle about the meaning of all this, she’s interrupted by a high-pitched: “Come! Come! Sit with me!” 

Haerin reluctantly follows and scooches over to sit by Danielle, now the one with furrowed brows and feeling frustrated. 

“What are you doing?” She finally seethes in a whisper. “It’s too late for you to be drinking out like this.” 

Haerin immediately freezes up and stiffens after. 

Danielle lets out a hum while plopping her head down on Haerin’s shoulder—and Haerin can feel her breath tickling her neck, and even in such a state Danielle somehow emits warmth for Haerin. (Though, she’s not sure if it’s from her own embarrassment this time.) 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Always so dependable, Haerinnie.” The nickname flows out so smoothly from Danielle’s lips (that are too close to her neck, seriously?) It makes Haerin sweat. 

Instead, Danielle snuggles in more with a laugh, the twinkle in her eyes being hidden by the way they went into crescents (much to Haerin’s dismay). 

Danielle ends up full-on clinging to Haerin’s arm. She’s stuck. Haerin holds her close.

“We should really head back.”

A humph in protest. “Let’s just stay. For a bit. Like this.”

Haerin is sat. She stays put. It’s oddly calming, the quietness that follows afterward—only the familiar sounds of the riverside can be heard. 

Usually, Haerin would feel horrendously uncomfortable, and probably scooch or swat someone away if they were to cling like this. Especially one she hasn’t shared many conversations with—like Danielle. 

Yet, here she is, feeling like it’s only her and Danielle in the world right now. And, she’s okay with that.

“You know, I’m happy.” Danielle suddenly confesses. Haerin tilts her head with a ‘hm?’ and Danielle nods affirmingly. “Yeah, yeah. I’m happy– I just, I wish I could ask to be looked after, too.” 

Danielle’s eyes are wide now, maybe not as crazed as before—but definitely alert when she clasps her and Haerin’s hands together and intertwines their fingers. “You know, Haerinnie,” Danielle shifts to make sure she’s all that Haerin views.

“It’s a bit weird, I don’t know you that well… But, you’re really interesting. So endearing too. It makes me want to ask you to look after me, but I also want to look after you too.” Danielle rambles as she usually does with the others—just not with Haerin.

“If anything happens, can we– let’s look out for each other, promise?”

(Haerin promises. 

They sloppily try to make it back to the apartment safely. 

Well, more like Haerin tries to get Danielle back to their apartment safely. She easily out-strengths Haerin, but eventually, Danielle lets herself be dragged back.

Danielle keeps going on and on,  about how the egg came first. How Hanni’s wrong that dinosaurs, of all things, came first. How she’d actually go and thank the first creature that came on earth, since, thanks to them—human evolution happened. And, thanks to that, someone as pretty as Haerin was able to exist.

What?

Haerin brushes it off when she finally gets Danielle to lay on her bed, the older still giggling maniacally—but snoozes off, cuddling into her Snoopy plushie after mumbling about everything and anything.

She almost finds herself stupid, at the fact she still listened to everything Danielle said—down to the most minuscule of details.

After a restless night of tossing and turning, Haerin distances herself even more from Danielle after this. Not a word between the both of them about it ever arose. 

But then the pandemic hits. 

Haerin wants to keep her promise—and it seems like Danielle’s doing the same wordlessly, too.)

Danielle’s at a random-ass park—pacing herself back and forth the same route she’s been doing all morning, lunchtime, and now going into the afternoon. 

Some pros of this include: 

• There still aren't that many people (even with lockdown restrictions being lessened).

• The fact she’s met and pat at least 7 dogs now (all nicely socially distanced from one another).

• Chugged lots of water (the best drink, it’s not boring! It’s healthy and necessary!)

• Helped an old lady with her groceries.

• Then said-old lady gave her a peanut snack (for free!). 

But at what cost? 

Her phone suddenly vibrates continuously, and the screen shows a call incoming from <hanniboo boo bear3

“Hello?”

“Stop ignoring Haerin.”

Danielle winces and almost falls to her knees at the impassiveness, of someone like Hanni, who’s usually full of life.

“She’s been sulking. Do something.” Hanni continues to demand, dead-panned. 

Danielle frowns. "What?” She doesn’t like hearing about Haerin being sad. 

Thankfully, she hasn’t had to witness it. Since she always makes sure to skedaddle out of the house, before she even gets to face the younger’s all-too-familiar-yet-so-damn-captivating-each-time(!!) gaze.

“Ugh, when I asked you two to be roommates with me, I didn’t sign up to be the mediator of a lovers’ quarrel, okay?” Hanni complains. “So, stop being some fake workout gym rat, get over here!” And scolds. 

So, yeah, it can be said Danielle is back to square one. As she always seems to be with Haerin. 

Danielle knows she has no one to blame but herself. It just makes it all the more scarier. 

Because all Haerin did was be herself. Danielle runs through things about Haerin in her mind, daily at this point. It’s hard not to think about her, she’s found—and she likes her Haerin thoughts. 

First of all, Haerin cares about her. She takes care of her well. And, well, Danielle has come to terms with the fact she does want Haerin to take care of her. 

It’s a bit shameless, she can admit that. But, she finds her shame being thrown out the window if it’s anything to do with Haerin. The way Haerin’s face, even for a millisecond, is actually faster than her thoughts always amuses Danielle. Haerin’s nose and eyes always move for a beat second, showcasing her true feelings about any situation—and even if no one notices, Danielle does. 

But it confirms to Danielle that everything Haerin does with, and for, her—it’s sincere. Because Haerin doesn’t scrunch her nose for a split second, or shift her eyes at all. She always stares directly at Danielle with the softest features she’s ever seen—the softest gaze she has ever seen.

Thinking about it all over again has Danielle hotter than normal in the park, and gone mute on this call for action by Hanni.

“Earth to Dani?  Are you even listening?!” She hears a scuffed voice, pulling her back to reality. 

“Ah, yes!” Danielle stammers, pinching at her own cheeks to get them to stop reddening (but it probably just reddened them further). 

“Okay? Then do something! I can’t stand it whenever I walk into the living room and I just see Haerin in the corner with a blanket, looking like that ‘i’m angy’ kitten.” Hanni murmurs.

“I… I don’t know if I can.” 

Danielle hates admitting she can’t do something for someone, with all her might she’d do it with her best efforts (usually). She just likes making people happy, and helping them comes with that. 

But, as she’s been telling herself these past few days: it’s different now. She can’t let herself keep indulging in Haerin—it’d make everything so messy (they even live together, god).  Even though she wants to, so badly. 

“The hell you mean you don’t know?”

“I just can’t. So, I think it’s best if you go and talk to her.” 

“See, now the hell you mean you can’t?! You know, she only really opens up to you. She’d just hum if I asked if she’s alright. She’s stupid stubborn,” Hanni continues mumbling about her frustrations towards Haerin. “So, just– just do anything with her.” 

Danielle sighs. “If we’re going to do anything, we’d have to do it with you.”

Hanni scoffs. “Fine, whatever.” 

The call clicks to an end after that.

Hey. Roommate intervention.

but just with me i swear!!!! 

come to my room ok :3 

Danielle doesn’t think much about it when she receives the messages from Hanni, she makes a mental note to do just that when she gets home from her (now) daily workout. 

When she does shuffle over to Hanni’s room that afternoon, with a towel thrown over her shoulder—she reminds herself to always think twice when Hanni messages her. 

Never again will she trust this girl.

Because before her sits Haerin and Hanni, on Hanni’s bed, chatting away until Hanni actually acknowledges Danielle’s entrance. Haerin turns around, and immediately her eyes shift to look at anything but her—Danielle does the same.

“Welcome Dani, now we can start!” Hanni announces happily. There are crickets from both Haerin and Danielle.

Hanni tries and gets them to play Monopoly like before.

But it doesn’t have the same banter, teasing, or gloating as before. It all feels suffocating.

Even when Hanni goes bankrupt and throws a tantrum over it—there are barely any words exchanged.

“How do you have all of the dark blue properties? This is so fucking rigged.” 

“You just suck with money,” Haerin spits back. 

“And?! What about Dani?” Hanni is clearly going to lengths trying to make the two talk. Danielle simply rests her back against the end of Hanni’s bed, twirling a strand of her hair—pretending she’s not listening and not caring what Haerin’s response will be.

Haerin goes quiet after that, and from the corner of Danielle’s vision, she's looking down at Hanni’s (very small) money pile.

She takes all of them with a swipe, Hanni lets out an absurdly high-pitched screech, and Haerin just places all of the money on her own (much bigger) pile.

What a cheater.  (She’s so smart.)

“There, I win,” Haerin hums, seemingly filled with pride and a small upturn of her lips. Then, Haerin gets up and brushes her hair back—even if it’s only a glimpse, Danielle feels a pit forming in her stomach from the action.

“I got to go, projects and all. Good luck if you play again, though.” She turns around, facing her back toward the two losers, it lets Danielle bask in Haerin’s presence now that she’s not looking—even just for a little bit. 

Quickly, she walks briskly out of the doorframe, and eventually both of their views.

Danielle has never ached for Haerin to look back until now.

“Hanni,” She begins with irritation, adding on a side-eye to the offender. 

“Heyyy, Dani…” Hanni scratches at her knees, pulling them close to her almost like she’s in defense. “Did you know? The director really liked my piece, amazing right?” 

Danielle clenches and grinds her teeth. “Congratulations, now don’t do this ever again,” she flicks at Hanni’s forehead for extra measure.

(When Danielle gets to her shower, she rubs at her skin with her loofah so hard, it hurts.

She doesn’t understand why when she gets out, she feels sweatier and hotter than when she got in.

Actually, she does have an idea. But, just like how she didn’t acknowledge her—Danielle doesn’t want to acknowledge Haerin either.

But she just did.)

As expected, one thing everyone should know about Haerin even though it may seem unexpected: she’s unpredictable.

It shows today, a few days after Hanni’s failed attempt at butting in and solving whatever this is. 

Happening early in the morning, at least by Haerin’s standards (Danielle knows). She’s at the gym this time, that’s currently populated with a limit of 8 people (including her)—and her phone dings, multiple times. She prays to whatever higher being is up there that it’s not a Hanni-led intervention again.

Danielle almost drops her phone when she sees who it’s actually from. 

Their last texts were from 2 weeks ago when the person asked: Where are you? Danielle replied, just went out. dw! 

The recipient answered back: Okay, come back soon though. :( It’s cold

Danielle feels a twinge of guilt. 

haerin 

Hi

Can we meet up at the river, behind the apartment? 

It’s just 5 minutes away. 

This evening, please 

Preferably 6pm

Danielle snickers at the way Haerin gave an exact time. So Haerin. 

dani ♡

oh 

hey 

yeah sure ^^

Don’t get her wrong, Danielle wanted to decline. She wanted to keep her sanity and continue her quarantine from Haerin peacefully.

Though, when Haerin calls for her, especially directly—Danielle can’t ever seem to say no.

Danielle finds Haerin sitting on a bench by the river.

6PM sharp is when the sun sets, and Danielle watches for a few minutes at just the way Haerin stares off—watching it. The way her hair flows down so perfectly and the way the breeze picks it up with so much care. 

It’s what Haerin deserves, Danielle thinks.

Unfortunately, Haerin seems to have a Danielle radar. Because she turns around without Danielle even saying a thing, or making any sound at all. 

Danielle stumbles a bit backward at the first proper view she has of Haerin’s face after a damn while. 

“Um, hi, you wanted to meet?”

“Danielle,” Haerin breathes. Danielle wants to go and embrace her. “Come sit,” Haerin invites and pats the spot next to her on the bench. Danielle rushes over.

Neither of them speaks up again for a while, it’s pure stillness, and they both don’t dare to look at each other after that. Only looking ahead at the dimming sun. 

“I miss you,” Haerin unexpectedly blurts out (she’s always full of surprises, Danielle notes again and again, it makes her like her more). 

“I miss you too,” Danielle responds.

Haerin hums, she’s playing with her fingers until Danielle can hear Haerin shifting towards her—she decides to have courage and look to the right of her.

There’s that pretty face of Haerin Kang again. The one she’s memorized each detail of, to the point Danielle can dream about her.

“I want to lie and say I only started missing you the day Hanni set us up like that. But I can’t,” Haerin mumbles, she’s still scratching at her fingers. Danielle worries for her skin because Haerin’s hands are so soft. She wants to hold them. 

(She’d always hold them, even if they were calloused.) 

“I’ve been missing you since the morning I woke up, early for once—and you left me on your bed.”

Danielle shivers at the coldness. It’s the peak of summer.

“Thanks for letting Snoopy look after me, though,” Haerin snorts.

“Haerin–“ Danielle cuts her off. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

Haerin tilts her head. “Then, could you explain why?”  

Danielle bites at her lips, and Haerin elaborates. “Why you’ve been avoiding me, like I’m some cockroach, yet you don’t want to kill me.”

“That’s pretty grim…”

“It’s how I felt,” Haerin dead-pans, and Danielle grimaces. 

Danielle sighs, cusping at Haerin’s hands so she stops picking at them. She looks up, and Haerin’s brief expression is wide-eyed—with shock, Danielle assumes. 

“You have to swear what I will say next… You won’t think it’s weird or anything!”

Haerin has her usual neutral face back on. “You have a lot of nerve to ask me that. What if you told me you accidentally ran over someone? Just because I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose.”

“Again, super grim! And never! I don’t even drive, even if I did, I’d be responsible!”

Haerin laughs, making Danielle’s lungs clench up more. “I know, I’m teasing you,” She cooes, and Danielle blushes (because hey! She’s the one that cooes at Haerin!).

Even for a brief moment, the lightheartedness of this conversation gives Danielle strength. But, it all crashes when she realizes what she has to say next—because Haerin’s anticipating. 

She inhales and doesn’t exhale until she speaks.

“There’s no other way to say this, I think, no. I know I like you. I’d like you, even if you were a cockroach,” Danielle fumbles. “I want to care for you, and I want you to care for me, too. But, in a, like, roommates-that-got-together way. Like that article said.”

Danielle has thought over and recited numerous times if she were ever to confess to Haerin, and this is not how she planned it to go ever. 

But, she never took into account that it would be Haerin calling for her this time. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I’m usually honest. You know me like the back of your hand now, I guess. I think you always did.”  That might be true now that Danielle thinks about it.

“But, it’s just– when it dawned on me that night when you said I’m the person… The person you feel is the only individual in the world for you, I didn’t know what to do.” Surprisingly, Haerin hasn’t jerked away. Her hands are still being cupped by Danielle’s. 

“I didn’t want to make it awkward, but I guess I failed, I really can’t keep shut about my feelings.”

“And that’s what I like about you.” 

It’s Danielle’s turn to be shocked. It’s the first time—even with all of her attention—that Danielle realizes Haerin’s expression hasn’t faltered, she’s verbalizing all of it out first. 

“Do you remember? The night when I found you here? It was around the time we moved in together. You were kind of drunk… I’m not sure if you will. But, that’s when I started admiring you,” Haerin is so serious-looking. It’s pretty daunting.

“I’m no better than you. After that, I started keeping a distance too. But, I never kept my eyes off you. When all of this,” Haerin gestures around them. “Hit, I had to keep the promise I made that night. That, I’d look out for you, and it’s okay if you don’t remember because you ended up looking out for me too—just like you promised.”

Danielle ends up sniffling, her nose is clogged, and that’s because the waterworks started working. Haerin dared to laugh.

“I’m sorry, I can’t remember it fully. I’m really trying–“ Danielle rasps and Haerin wiggles her hand out from the cusp to wipe tears with her thumb. They’re still soft. 

“I told you, it’s alright. I guess unconsciously, you did. Maybe, it shows we’re meant to be soulmates?” 

Danielle sometimes can’t stand how blunt Haerin can be. “You’re so cheesy, oh my god.” (She’s a lying liar, she loves it.)

“For you,” Haerin smiles, and Danielle cringes through just a little more tears. “Anyway, that night, you were saying all sorts of things. It made me wonder: how can someone be this stressful?” 

Danielle feels like she’s just been punched in the gut. “What?”

“Hey, let me cook,” Haerin assures. “I wanted to be like that too. Because, even before that, I noticed the way you lit up any room you walked into, the way you got along so easily with everyone. At some point, I guess that admiration got too far. I found myself having a crush on you. It didn’t really hit until this whole pandemic thing… Where we were stuck together, literally. I decided though, to be brave like you and embrace it.”

Danielle cries after the end of Haerin’s own monologue. Everything is bubbling out of her mouth. Haerin pats her back and doesn’t push Danielle away even though she’s so sure she looks so gross now (and excuse her for wanting to look cute and perfect for Haerin), instead, she embraces her closer. 

“Stop crying. You’re going to stain your clothes.”

“Don’t tell a woman what to do with her feelings,” Danielle blubbers back. Haerin plays with the hair behind Danielle’s neck, it's the ultimate comfort she could give. 

“Right, my bad.”

When Danielle’s breath is finally stable again, she pushes backward to look at Haerin for the billionth time this evening. It’s already dark, yet the way the lone lamp post illuminates just defines everything further.

“Then, let’s make a promise now. One we both can remember. Haerin, I promise to look after you. To hug you gently and whisper in your ear: ‘It’ll be fine Haerin, I love you’.”

Haerin blinks at her for a few beats before chuckling. “Who’s the cheesy one, now?”

“Just go with it!”

“Mmh,” Haerin slouches forward and lets herself fall into Danielle. “You know it’s a given. I promise to look after you too, Danielle.” 

“Then– Then, are we dating now?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I guess we are.” 

Danielle feels her sight getting blurred. “Wait, wait, no. You gotta ask me out.” 

“What is this? Middle school? Please don’t break up with me after 3 days.”

“Haerin.”

Haerin suddenly pats Danielle’s head. “Okay, okay, don’t pout,” She asks, and Danielle complies. “Danielle, will you be my girlfriend?”

(In Danielle’s humble opinion, when she lets out a breathy “Yes, Haerin,”—it’s better than any cliché rom-com she and Haerin have binged.

She likes the part where she claims to Haerin: “We’re engaged now!” 

She replies: “Isn’t that still a few years too early?”

“You’re right… It’s okay, plenty of time to work on our communication skills.”

“You didn’t have to say it.”

“Self-awareness is just the start.”

“As expected, I can always learn from you, Marsh.”)

When they got back from the riverside, Haerin immediately urges Danielle toward her room. Danielle mindlessly follows with a stupid grin plastered on her face (something that always seems to happen with Haerin). 

Haerin.  Haerin. Haerin. Her girlfriend, Haerin.

The moment they step into the room—and Haerin slyly closes the door behind Danielle, she grabs at Danielle's arm, nudging her to face toward her.

When Danielle does, Haerin cups her cheek, rubs her thumb on it and all, even scratches under her chin—making Danielle melt happily at all the touches of Haerin Kang. Until she leans in and leaves a quick peck on Danielle’s lips. 

It was probably just a few seconds at most, but Danielle would rather savor Haerin’s kisses forever—it felt much longer to her, to the point she huffs when Haerin pulls away.

“More, please,” she pleads.

Haerin blinks again. That staple slow blink of her’s that Danielle has given all her attention to for days, weeks, months now. 

She leans back into Danielle’s space, yet she doesn’t miss how Haerin’s eyes dart down toward her lips—and Danielle sucks in her breath. 

Danielle doesn’t move much. She relishes how nice the once-again gentle pressure feels. Haerin’s lips are soft, and she can taste coffee (maybe Americano?), and, and, Danielle’s brain just fizzles out.

Her lungs finally untangle from the harsh pull of anxiety’s vines—when Haerin pulls back, Danielle grabs at her shoulders. Tightening her grasp on it and shaking her head. 

“Dani? Is everything okay?” Worried Haerin starts with a quirk in her eyebrows and a tiny frown. 

Danielle immediately giggles and leaves another peck to Haerin’s frown. At this point, they’re just exchanging. She pulls back the strand of hair that covers Haerin’s ear (she finds them red, it’s adorable), pulls her in for a hug—rests her head on Haerin’s shoulder for the nth time. 

She hums before turning her head to whisper. “I still want more kisses, Haerinnie.” 

At that, Danielle isn’t sure what possessed Haerin to become this strong, to the point she overpowers her. But, Haerin’s towering over her—having now been pinned down on Haerin’s bed, and she can’t stop kissing Danielle. 

Not that Danielle is complaining, of course. 

It’s been 5 days. 

“Did you guys finally stop being emotionally constipated?”

“Excuse me?”

Hanni’s got her hands behind her back with a smug look. Danielle doesn’t like it at all.

“You and Haerin, a couple,” she’s sleazy. 

“What? How do you know?”

“Imagine my surprise when I came home—your room was empty, yet Haerin’s was locked, and she never locks her room,” Hanni tuts. “You two think you’re sooo slick, but I didn’t know you had that much rizz.” 

“Oh my god,” to Danielle’s embarrassment—Hanni keeps spitting nonsense. “Stop, stop. You’re only right about us being together. We only… We only kissed. And cuddled.”

“Made out, you mean, fruity ass.” Hanni makes out disgusting smooching noises.

“Shut up.” 

“Well, good timing because the lockdown is officially being lifted in a week. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Hanni brushes against her. “I’m going to tell Minji and Hyein to pay up.” 

“You betted on us?” 

“Hey, you should be thankful! I had more hope for you two!” After that, Hanni wanders off—not waiting for a comeback.

That’s when it dawns on her, the lockdown is being lifted in a week. She immediately takes her phone out of her sweatpants’ pocket and texts. 

dani ♡

love

honey

baby

guess what? 

lockdown is being lifted in a week!!!!! hanni just told me!!! 

this means we can go on dates!!! <3 

first stop is the aquarium please 

or the park

omg

a picnic!!

Much to Danielle’s surprise, she replies immediately—even though Haerin should be doing groceries right now (she’s on duty this time). 

haerinnie ♡

Seriously?

That’s great news…!! :) 

Ah

You’re so cute

Aquarium, picnic, anything you want. 

dani ♡

but you have to want to do it too, ok? 

so just lmk if you ever get tired. or have another idea. we can always cuddle and sleep in <3 

also

selfie, please?

It takes a bit longer for Haerin to get back with this one, Danielle knows it’s because Haerin is picky with photos—but she believes Haerin is the most beautiful in all of them. (She has many candid photos of Haerin in her camera roll, just for her.) 

The picture Haerin sends back, it’s her in a beanie with a ribbon on it (the one Danielle gave to her 2 days ago, from her wardrobe). Her manicured nails are pointing at the ribbon, and she’s slightly jutting her lips out. 

Danielle can’t wait when she gets back to smother them in kisses.

dani ♡

skskfjdjfbjfsHDJFNSJFB!!;?:@!( 

people died

i’m people 

MY GF !!!!! 

GIRLFRIEND!!!! 

single?

haerinnie ♡

Sorry. I’m wedded to a useless girlfriend 

(Lovingly)

I’ll be back in a bit… the cashier looked at me funnily cause of the selfies I was taking… 

She wouldn’t get it!!

Danielle giggles, and she waits patiently for Haerin to get back. The moment she does, she runs over to open the door and engulfs her in a hug—it makes Haerin drop the grocery bags, but she doesn’t protest when Danielle continues to smooch her cheeks (and her nose, and her ears, and the pocket of fat under her eyes, and her lips).

After a while of this, they're unpacking the groceries. “You know, Hanni found out,” Danielle grumbles as she helps store the fridge. 

“Of course she did,” Haerin sighs. “You know, when the lockdown gets lifted, we’ll kick her out, and she can go find someplace else to crash at.”

“How kind of you, Kang. Then we can go on all the dates we want, yes?” 

“Of course.” 

“A dream come true.” 

(That evening, the group chat exploded. It seems the other two got their Danielle and Haerin updates. 

Minji agonizes about how much she has to pay Hanni. While Hyein’s just happy to be there, sending plenty of confetti messages screaming: ‘CONGRATS!’

They make plans to meet next Saturday at a café, but joke that they’ll make Haerin and Danielle sit at a separate table if they decide to ‘be gross.'

How rude. 

But, maybe warranted, Danielle would scream at the top of her lungs to any passerby willing to listen about Haerin, after all.

The least she can and wants to do after being silenced for so long.)

(It’s different now, but at least Danielle can run into every day with Haerin by her side.)