Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.”

James wasn’t happy about leaving New York. Katie, the girl he’d been seeing casually for the last four months drove him to the airport. A truly kind offering, given that she hadn’t moved her car from her parking spot in nearly three weeks. 

“If you ever make it back here, give me a call, yeah?” Katie said, her white teeth shined brightly behind her painted lips. James liked Katie. They never dated exclusively, both too busy with work and friends and hobbies, but it was always nice to spend time with her when he could. 

“I will,” James agreed, flashing her a smile. “Thanks again for the ride.” 

“Course,” she said, giving him one last wave through the window, as he pulled his suitcase from the trunk, slamming it closed behind him. He waved back and watched her drive off. It was mid-afternoon and though it was cold, with the January wind cutting through his jacket like a knife, it was also sunny. James gave himself one last moment to let the sunlight warm his face before finally entering the airport. 

He had a long day of travel left ahead of him. It took three flights to get within an hour of a small town in Washington State called Godric’s Hollow. He hadn’t been back there since his mother’s funeral, almost a year and a half prior. He wasn’t looking forward to reliving that experience, but he didn’t feel like he had a choice. 

Though he loved New York — even with his super expensive apartment that he shared with four roommates and his terrible job at a catering company — it didn’t feel right to stay there any longer. He’d barely spoken to his father since he moved back to Godric’s Hollow, but he could tell from their limited contact that his father wasn’t doing well. That’s why he found himself on the three planes, each smaller than the last, heading to the cloudiest and most miserable town in the entire United States. 

His father picked him up from the airport. He had been prepared to pay for a taxi to take him all the way to his father’s house, but there his father was, standing next to his pickup truck and waiting for James to exit the plane. The airport was so small that they didn’t even have a terminal to attach to, walking right out onto the tarmac. 

“Hey Son,” his father said. Fleamont Potter looked much older than the last time James had seen him. His black hair and beard had started graying, dark circles sagged beneath his eyes, and he seemed shorter somehow as if the weight of his grief had physically crushed him. 

“Hey Dad,” James responded. James looked similar to his father, at least he used to before his father had sequestered himself off to a life of isolation in Godric’s Hollow. They both had the same curly and unruly hair, an inky black color, the same brown eyes, and the same brown skin. Although, his father’s skin looked like it was leached of some of its color, no doubt caused by his lack of vitamin D and the long months spent not taking care of himself. 

James climbed into the car next to his father. The cab smelled like tobacco that someone had tried to cover with an air freshener. James wondered when his father had started smoking again. It was a terrible habit, not that James was exactly innocent of it. They didn’t speak for a long time during the car ride back. The air between them was awkward and stale, though not tense, which James thought was an improvement from the last time they had seen each other. 

“Did you end up enrolling in school?” his father asked, forty-five minutes into the hour-long drive. 

“Yeah, I did,” James answered. “A week or so ago. I can’t sign up for individual classes yet though. I have to meet with an advisor first.” 

“When does the semester start?” 

“Tomorrow,” James said. It was a Sunday. James knew he was cutting it close, but it had been a struggle to even book the flights back. The thought of spending even more time there without at least school to distract him sounded like torture. 

“How are you planning to get there?” his father asked, he kept his voice bland, but James couldn’t help feeling the judgment behind it. His father had always struggled with the life James choose to live. 

“I have a little bit saved. I’ll probably buy a car,” James said. “I renewed my license before leaving New York.” That had been an awkward interaction, having not updated his license since he was seventeen. Luckily, he wasn’t forced to take a driver's test. He didn’t think he would have passed it while driving in the city. 

His father didn’t respond right away. “Do you remember the Lupins?” 

“Er,” James said, uncertainly. “No, I don’t think so.” 

“You used to play with their son when you were both boys.” That explained why James didn’t remember it. He had basically forgotten his entire life spent in Godric’s Hollow. Not that he had spent that much time there, his family moving away when he was only six. 

“Oh, okay,” James said, uncertainly. 

“They are selling their truck,” his father said. Of course, it’s another truck, James thought. His father was staring straight ahead, but James was sure he had glanced over quickly to see if James had reacted. “Might be a good option for you.”

“Right,” James said. “Well, I’ll take a look at it.” 

“Sure,” his father said easily. “You can use my truck until then.” 

“Thanks,” James replied. “That’ll be helpful.” 

They didn’t speak again, which James was thankful for. He didn’t have much to say, and he was afraid that if his father needled him too much, he would snap. He was also already exhausted from the long day of travel, and he needed a good night's sleep before he could truly face his new life in the quiet town. 

It was nearly midnight by the time they pulled into the driveway and James was doing his best not to nod off. The house was dark, with only a single porch light on in the front that barely even illuminated the walkway. The street his father lived on had very few street lamps and the next-door neighbors were far enough away that their lights didn’t bleed over very well. James found it creepy. 

The house was small, with only two bedrooms and one bathroom. It was a folk Queen Anne-style home, covered in white siding that looked like it hadn’t been repainted in nearly a decade. It was old, having been built in the 1930s, and hadn’t been remodeled in a long time. James was pretty sure his parents purchased it from the bank after it sat empty for several years. He doubted his father had done much to it since his mother’s death.  

He lumbered up the stairs tiredly and walked to the guest bedroom, a small room that overlooked the front yard, though the window was almost completely blocked by a large tree. It was slightly smaller than the main bedroom, though not by much. Compared to the closet he slept in in New York, it was huge. Somehow it still felt cramped though, the poorly wallpapered walls seemed to close in on him with every breath he took. 

His father mumbled a quick “Good night” before softly closing the door to his bedroom. James dropped his bags on the floor and threw himself onto the full-size bed. It was his parents’ old mattress, so it was a little lumpy, the springs in it causing him to bounce every single time he shifted around. The room was still barren, just like last time, with only two photos on the wall, both of his deceased grandparents when they were young. 

James shucked off his pants and shirt leaving him in only his boxers, before collapsing beneath the comforter. He was so exhausted that he was sure he would fall right asleep, but he was only able to rest for about twenty minutes before the silence woke him up. It had been so loud in New York, the sounds of traffic and planes and random people outside and his various roommates coming and going always filling the space. He had gotten used to it after his seven years living there. It was bizarre to be in a room so deathly still now. 

The silence kept him up long into the night. He would fall asleep for a few minutes before waking up feeling mildly panicked. It wasn’t until about six in the morning that James gave up altogether and got up for the day. He could hear his father snoring from behind his closed door. The kitchen was an absolute mess. There were dirty dishes piled high in the sink, so many that when James opened the cupboard, there was only one clean plate left. The fridge and freezer were practically empty, only a few sauces left over, half of them expired. 

He got right into washing the dishes. There wasn’t any food for breakfast, or for any other meal for that matter, and he hated thinking about his father starving alone in this house. It took him nearly an hour to get the kitchen clean. The dishwasher, he discovered, had been completely disconnected and would need to be pulled out and reattached to the water line if he wanted to use it. How had his father even survived this long? 

“Morning,” his dad said as he shuffled into the kitchen. “Thanks for cleaning.” James could see a light dusting of pink on his cheeks when he said it. James just nodded, not inclined to revel in his father’s embarrassment. 

“I’ll get groceries after classes, okay?” James said. His father nodded before pulling out a few twenty-dollar bills from his wallet. “It’s fine, Dad. I’ll cover it.” His father didn’t argue, but James wondered if he would find those bills tucked away in one of his jackets later. 

It was nearly seven thirty by that point, and with classes starting at nine, James had to get going soon. Especially given the school’s bizarre demand that he meets with an advisor before fully enrolling. James had only attended a few weeks of college right after he moved to New York when he was eighteen before dropping out. Since then, he kept telling himself he would go back, but instead, he ended up jumping from shitty job to shitty job, never quite settling down anywhere. Now that he was forcing himself to stay in Godric’s Hollow for the foreseeable future, he figured it was the perfect time to go back to school. 

He dressed as warmly as he could, pulling on a thick flannel shirt and an old pair of jeans. Most of the jackets he owned were a little too nice to be subjected to the rain – he would need to buy some new waterproof ones – so he pulled on an old North Face jacket that was just a bit too snug around his arms. 

He pulled up to the community college at 8:30 am, plenty of time to meet with an advisor and still make it to his first classes. He just hoped that he wasn’t too unprepared. He hoped that given how tiny the school was, they weren’t expecting him to do much work before classes actually began. 

The college was located right off the main highway, as were most of the things in Godric’s Hollow. It was a tiny campus, smaller than the huge high school James had attended when his family lived in Florida. It was made up of several small brick buildings that were all interconnected by paved pathways. It was raining heavily when he arrived, and he had to run to the front office to escape the cold. 

“This is private property,” a janitor said to him just as his hand touched the handle. Filch, his name tag read. 

“Right, I’m just going into the office,” he replied. The man sneered at him. 

“It doesn’t open until nine,” Filch responded snidely. 

“What?” he said, surprised before looking at the hours on the front door. Sure enough, the doors were locked, with a “We’ll be back” sign hanging on the glass indicating nine in the morning. “Oh. I guess I’ll just wait then.” 

“No loitering,” Filch snapped. 

James ended up sitting in the cab of his father’s truck while he waited for the office to open. He watched as the tiny parking lot filled with cars. He was pleased to see that his father’s truck didn’t stick out too much apart from the other students. He wondered what it would be like to start school in the middle of the year. At any other college it probably wouldn’t be a big deal, but one this small, he was bound to draw attention. 

“Good morning,” a woman greeted him when he was finally able to enter the front office. She was short with black hair chopped into a sharp pixie cut. She was clearly young, maybe even a few years younger than James. Her smile was kind in a way that made him relax immediately. 

“Morning,” he replied. “I need to meet with an advisor so I can sign up for classes.”

“Oh, of course,” she said, while nodding her head. “You’re James Potter, correct?” 

“Yes, were you expecting me?” he asked. She chuckled, her laugh twinkling. 

“I was,” she answered. “It’s unusual to have a student sign up in the middle of the year.” Well, that answered that question , James thought. “I’m Alice, by the way.” 

“Nice to meet you, Alice,” James said. 

“I’ll help you out,” she said before leading him into a tiny office behind the desk. It was so cramped that the door couldn’t close without moving both of the chairs in the room to the opposite wall. It was also ridiculously warm. He noticed at least two space heaters sitting on the floor. Immediately he felt sweat begin staining his shirt. “Right. So, are you working towards an associate degree or working to get credits to transfer?” 

“Er,” he mumbled. “I guess an associate, at least for now. I don’t have any plans beyond that at the moment.”

“Okay,” she said easily. “And you’re working toward an Associate of Arts degree or Associate of Science?” 

“Arts, I guess,” he answered, uncertainly. He should have done more research. Originally, he had planned to study Business in school, something simple that he could use in a lot of different ways, but he quickly discovered that most business classes were terribly boring. 

“Great, so we only offer a few classes every semester and only two-night classes,” she explained, sounding almost apologetic. “Sorry, it’s not a very big selection.” She handed him a list of classes and the schedule. 

“No worries. I’ll sign up for English and U.S. History for sure,” he answered. “How many classes do I have to take?” 

“It doesn’t matter, this isn’t like a university, but I would recommend four. You’ll need a math, a science, and a physical education class to graduate though.” 

“Okay, I’ll go ahead and take Calculus and…” he trailed off while looking at the class schedule. 

“We have a general movement class this semester if that would interest you. It’s probably the closest you’ll get to a standard physical education class. We also offer hiking and canoeing during the summer months,” she explained. “There is also a Biology course that fits your schedule.”

“Let’s do the Biology one,” he said. She nodded and added it to his schedule. When he was in high school, he used to love playing sports, usually soccer or football, but as he’d gotten older, he rarely had time to play recreationally. However, canoeing during the summer months sounded like exactly the kind of thing that he would find interesting. At least it would give him something to look forward to. 

“Perfect,” she said. “This makes a pretty standard schedule. It’ll probably be pretty close to what you would expect in high school.” She stopped to give him a keen look. “Which I would guess you haven’t been in in a while.” 

James laughed loudly. “No, I haven’t.” Alice chuckled as well, but it was clear she wasn’t making fun of him, not maliciously at least. She had a kindness about her that made it impossible to feel too on edge. She finally sent him on his way after that. It was only fifteen after nine by the time he left the front office, so he headed straight to his first class. 

His English I class was on the opposite side of campus, but luckily that only meant that it was three small buildings over. The school was structured so that each building only held two or three classrooms maximum, which James found frankly ridiculous. Who designed this school? He looked down at his map as he walked, noticing the bizarre name at the top. Hogwarts. Clearly, the person who founded this community college had lost their mind. 

The class had already started when he entered, but the woman teaching, Professor Sprout, just waved him in and kept on speaking. She passed him a syllabus once he took his seat. Most of the period was spent discussing what they would cover that semester. It seemed to be more of a literature class than a standard English class with several books as required reading throughout the year. 

The oddest part was that James had barely heard of any of the books on the list beyond The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, but as he looked closer, he noticed that each of them seemed to adhere to the same general theme. Despite being fiction books, they were all related to plants. He looked around the room and, for the first time, noticed that nearly every available surface was covered in potted plants. Godric’s Hollow was already drowning in greenery and plant life, but it was clear Professor Sprout was keen on replicating that environment inside her classroom. 

“Hey!” someone shouted at him as he left the room after the class finished. “You’re James, right?” James turned to look at him. He was short with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. His face was round and his cheeks turned red the moment the cold January air touched his skin. He’s all cheeks, his mother would say. 

“Yeah, do I know you?” James said as politely as he could manage.

“No,” the boy said with a laugh. “Your dad knows my mom though. She works at the grocery store where he shops. He’s been mentioning that you were planning to move here.” 

“Oh,” James said, surprised. He hadn’t expected his father to mention him to others. Really, he hadn’t expected his father to interact with damn near anyone, especially someone at the grocery store given the dilapidated state of his kitchen. 

“Just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Peter.” Peter stuck out his hand, and James grasped it firmly. Peter’s hand was sweaty and warm, his skin so soft that James wondered how much time he spent moisturizing. 

“Nice to meet you,” James said. 

“Where are you headed next?” Peter asked, cheerfully. 

“Calculus with Flitwick,” James answered once he pulled out his schedule. He really needed to memorize it before just wandering off. 

“Oof, that’s a tough one,” Peter said. “I took it last year and only barely passed. I can walk you if you want?” 

“Sure,” James answered. It was nice not to have to stare at the map as he walked, especially given that the grounds were now scattered with students. Peter fell into step next to James. 

“So, where’d you move here from?” Peter asked conversationally. James glanced at him before answering. Peter was looking around them like he was watching for something, seemingly only half interested in what James had to say.

“New York City,” James answered. He guessed that little tidbit of information wasn’t important enough for his father to share. 

“Wow, that must be a real change,” Peter said. James wondered how many times he would be forced to have this exact conversation.

“Yeah, it’s definitely different. How long have you lived here?” James asked, more out of politeness than actual interest. 

“My entire life,” Peter answered, finally looking back to make eye contact with James. “It’s boring, but I don’t want to leave my mom.” 

“Understandable,” James said. Sometimes he wished he had never left his mom. 

“This is the building calc is in,” Peter said when they reached a set of rusty double doors. “What are your other classes?”

“Biology with Slughorn and History with Binns,” James replied. 

“Oh, nice. I have Binns’s class with you,” Peter said with a wide smile. James decided that he liked Peter. James wasn’t exactly a complicated person when it came to liking and disliking people, he usually just decided within a few minutes of meeting them and he rarely needed to change his opinion. 

“Awesome, well, I’ll see you then,” James said before waving goodbye. He walked into the small building to find three classrooms. Each of them was completely barren, without a single decoration on the doors or walls. It made James feel like he was in a hospital. 

“Hello, Mr. Potter,” James heard a voice say the moment he entered Calculus. The classroom was still empty, most of the students probably moving from class to class, waiting until the last minute to take their seats. The professor was a little person, his forehead coming up just to the bottom of the whiteboard. He was dressed oddly, like a conductor, in a full black tuxedo with what looked like a black baton in-between his fingers. It looked almost like he was holding a wand.

“Hi. Professor Flitwick?” James said, hoping that he actually remembered the correct name from his schedule. 

“Yes!” Professor Flitwick yelled with a big smile. “I’m so excited you’re here. It’s a small class this semester.” 

“Oh, how many students?” James asked, moving so that he could take a seat in the front row. 

“Only five of you I believe,” Flitwick responded. “It’s not a very popular course I’m afraid.” 

James chuckled a little. “I’m sure people are just intimidated by the subject matter.” 

“You’re kind to say,” Flitwick replied. Just then the door opened and four more students came in all together. The student that was leading the group was a woman with blonde hair that looked like it had just been freshly bleached. She was wearing a heavy layer of makeup and James found himself wondering how she managed to keep it on in a place since it was so wet all the time.

“Oh, hello,” she said flirtatiously, sending James a wink as she took a seat next to him. 

“Hi,” he said, smiling politely. The way she was looking at him reminded him distinctly of a documentary he watched on Venus Fly Traps, it was so predatory. 

“You’re new, yes?” she purred. “Starting the middle of the year, how scandalous.”

James chuckled uncomfortably. “I guess,” he said. 

She gave him a long, calculating look. “I’m Rita.” She stuck out her hand. Her long nails looked like claws, the way they poked out. James gingerly grasped her palm with his, lightly shaking it before pulling away. 

“James,” he replied. 

“James,” she repeated as if testing his name out on her tongue. 

“Okay, students!” Flitwick interrupted. “It is time to start our exciting and riveting journey into the world of Calculus.” Once he began, James realized the thing he thought was a baton was actually a pen that let him write on the board remotely without ever having to touch it. It was very high-tech for such a small school. 

Given that it was the first day, they spent most of the class reviewing the syllabus and doing practice problems to see where everyone's skill level was. James had always been passable at math, good enough to do well but not so good that he wanted to pursue it in any real way. They also went around the room and did a very long-winded and complicated icebreaker. James never liked icebreakers in classes, he never managed to learn any names and he usually just left feeling awkward and embarrassed.  

When they began packing up to leave, Rita sidled up to him, leaning so close that James was basically breathing in only her perfume. He did his best not to cough the moment it coated his mouth. 

“Heading to lunch?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. 

“Great,” she said and circled her arm through his, her nails scratching lightly over his long-sleeve shirt. 

The rain had slowed to a sprinkle by the time they were walking to lunch, which James was grateful for. Rita seemed unbothered by the cold. She wore a tight pair of blue pants and a nearly sheer blue short-sleeve shirt. She didn’t even shiver against the wind, though James felt her cuddle closer to him as they walked. 

“So, tell me about yourself, James,” she said lightly. 

“Oh, well, what do you want to know?” James replied. She gave him a sly look out of the corner of her eyes. 

“Where did you move here from? And why?” she quickly added the second question.

“New York City and —”

“You moved here from New York City. Why would you want to leave a place like New York City?” she sounded much younger than she had before when she said this. James didn’t have a good gauge of how old she was, but hearing the way her voice lit up with excitement, he would guess close to nineteen. 

“Yes, I moved here to take care of my father,” he said, though he chuckled slightly at her question. He didn’t really want to leave New York, but he knew he couldn’t stay. 

“Ooh,” she said. “Is he sick? You’re such a good son, moving away from somewhere so great just to take care of him. I bet that’s very difficult for you.” Her voice became cloying again, with a slight infantilization to it. 

“He’s not sick,” James explained. “He just doesn’t do well on his own.” She gave him a false pitying look. “What about you?” That was all Rita needed to immediately launch into a rapid-fire set of facts about her life. James mostly tuned her out, it was clear that she didn’t need any prompting to rattle on about herself. 

The cafeteria was on the edge of the campus though it looked like it was one of the oldest buildings at the school. The bricks on the corners were all chipped from wear and tear, the caulk between them worn down until it was nearly invisible. The inside, though, had clearly been redone, except for the windows that looked like they were made in the 1920s. 

James hadn’t thought to bring his own food from home, not that there was anything to bring from his father’s kitchen, but based on the limited options available on campus, he was sure he would have to start bringing things himself. He ended up buying an apple, some chips, and a soda. It wasn’t enough food, but it would have to be enough to tide him over. None of the hot food options looked, or smelled, very appetizing. 

James took a seat with Rita at a round table where several other students already sat. “Hey James,” Peter greeted, coming up to take the empty seat next to him. 

“James, you just have to meet my friends,” Rita said, her voice laced with a syrupy sweetness that made James uncomfortable. She gestured around the table, introducing people as she went. James didn’t catch any of their names, too overwhelmed. 

One of them had shiny golden hair that had so much product in it that James was positive he could have been hit by a van and his hair would have stayed intact. He was giving James a glittering smile that looked carved into his face. James wondered if he did it in the mirror every single morning just to make sure it appeared perfect. When he caught James watching him, he winked and blew James a kiss. 

“Ugh, ignore him,” Rita said, though there was something simmering behind her eyes that looked deeper than disgust. Jealousy, James guessed.

He looked around the cafeteria while picking at his food. It was half empty, but James doubted that it ever looked completely full. It was oddly large for such a small school. The other students all sat in tight groups, clearly already close to their friends. James caught more than one of them watching him, though they would always look away quickly when their eyes met. As he was watching, he noticed four more students come in and get in line. 

There was something so strange about them, yet he couldn’t look away. The one in the very front of the group was a tall man whose eyes glittered with chaos. He made brief eye contact with James and raised his eyebrows in challenge before looking away. He moved with a grace that seemed out of place on his lanky body. It was harder to tell, but James was pretty sure the man would stand even taller than his six-foot-two.

Behind the tall man, was a man with light blonde hair that glittered in the fluorescent lights. He walked just slightly up on his toes in a way that reminded James of a cat on the prowl. His face was almost difficult to look at. He was intimidatingly beautiful and it hurt James’s eyes to look at him. His facial features were pulled into a slight scowl like he was annoyed with having to exist in the same space as so many regular-looking people. 

The blonde man’s pinky was interlaced with the pinky of a girl behind him. She had light brown skin that, even from where James was sitting, looked like it was silky smooth and incredibly soft. She had white blonde hair that fell almost to her hips and white eyebrows that lay starkly against her skin. Her lips were curled into a small, knowing smile. She was turned slightly so she could talk to the woman behind her. 

James had never seen a woman so beautiful. She had red hair that curled like licks of fire around her narrow shoulders. She wore a long-sleeve green knit dress that came partway down her pale legs. The dress perfectly accentuated her wide hips and thick thighs, the kind of thighs that made James want to immediately sink his teeth into them. 

She was the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. That is until the next person walked in through the doors. He sauntered with the same grace as the others, like he was floating above the ground, only letting his feet touch the floor to save face. He had black hair that curled around his ears and neck. The front pieces hung in front of his face so it took a moment for James to see him fully, but the second he did, he audibly gasped. The man had a long nose and sharp cheekbones, and his eyes were dark, almost black, but they were impossible to look away from, like two black holes intent on consuming James whole. 

“I know,” Peter said, with a slight sigh. James had forgotten that there was anyone else even in the room with them. 

“Sorry?” James asked, startled. 

“You were watching them,” Peter said quietly, gesturing toward the group who were now looking over the food options and chatting with each other idly. 

“Oh,” James said, feeling wrong-footed after being called out. “Yeah, they’re… very attractive.” 

Peter laughed so loudly that everybody at their table turned to look at him. “You could say that,” Peter said, still chuckling. 

“Who are they?” James asked as quietly as he could. 

“They’re the Blacks,” Rita interrupted Peter’s answer. “Except for the two blondes, they’re the Rosiers. They moved here a few years ago but just enrolled in school together last year. They are very hot.” She cackled as she said it. “Don’t bother though, they don’t talk to anyone except each other.” 

“Right,” James said with an awkward chuckle. 

“They really do all stick together,” Peter said, his eyes glued to the five students. “But they’re also like together, you know?” James shook his head. “The tall guy, that's Barty Black and the blond dude with him is Evan Rosier, they’re dating. I swear I’ve walked in on them chewing face in the bathrooms so many times.” Peter’s face fell into an uncomfortable scowl. 

“Oh,” James replied simply. Barty seemed to be focused on what he was buying, which looked like a very questionable-looking sandwich. He barely even looked at the others. Evan though, he watched Barty like a hawk. James hadn’t noticed at first, too distracted by the stark beauty of Evan’s face to see how his eyes kept drifting to Barty. “I see.”

“Yeah,” Peter said a little faintly. He wasn’t sure Peter had even blinked since he started telling James about the group. “The two girls are Pandora and Lily. Pandora Rosier is weird, I wouldn’t spend time with her even if she did bother to speak to me. The one time I tried she just glared at me until I left. Lily is nice, though.”

“Yeah, she’s real nice, isn’t she Pete?” Rita said venomously, she had a sharp smile on her face as she looked at Peter. Peter flushed a blotchy red. 

“She is nice,” Peter repeated. “But she and Pandora are together. I just didn’t realize at first.” James patted Peter on the shoulder comfortingly. 

“The last of one is Regulus Black,” Rita said in a stage whisper. “He’s a stuck-up brat.” James couldn’t be positive, he never had the best eyesight given the black-rimmed glasses he always wore, but he swore he saw the tips of Regulus’s lips curl up when Rita spoke, almost like he was listening in. 

The five of them finally finished buying their lunches and went to the far side of the cafeteria to sit alone. Regulus, James noticed, didn’t buy anything at all, but followed the rest of them to the table. James tried not to stare, but not staring had never been his strong suit. His first girlfriend in New York used to tell him that he resembled a deer in headlights whenever he found someone attractive. He would just stare at them, open-mouthed. 

After a few minutes, Regulus looked around the room, glancing at random students and pausing for a moment on each of them, before moving on. He jumped from one to the other until his eyes inevitably met James’. Look away , James thought.  He didn’t, of course. He kept gazing at Regulus with his dark fathomless eyes and his sharp aristocratic face. Regulus stared back with an inscrutable expression on his face before tilting his head to the side as if perplexed. 

“What class do you have next, James?” Rita said, finally pulling his attention away. She scratched her long fingernails against his neck lightly. James had to work not to flinch at the feeling. 

“Oh, er,” he answered, fumbling around trying to remember what he was even doing in the cafeteria. He’d been so absorbed by Regulus. “Biology with Slughorn.” By the time James looked up again, Regulus had looked away and James internally mourned the loss of his eyes. 

“I have that with you,” the blonde guy across from him said. James still couldn’t recall his name. 

He spent the rest of lunch trying to pay attention to the conversations happening around him, but his eyes kept drifting back to Regulus and his dark curly hair. James wanted to run his fingers through it. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked. 

“I’ll walk you to Slughorn’s,” the blonde guy said. James stood up with the others to head to his next class. Regulus and the others had already left, moving so swiftly that James barely even noticed them getting up. 

“Gilderoy, leave James alone,” Rita said with an eye roll. Gilderoy threw his arm around James’s shoulders, giving his bicep a light squeeze. 

“James doesn’t mind, do you, James?” Gilderoy said. James did, in fact, mind, but he felt like it would be rude to throw the man’s arm off his shoulders so he just offered a half smile instead. Gilderoy thankfully dropped his shoulder once they made it outside, wrapping his arms around himself. He was wearing a thin baby blue jacket that looked like it could barely keep him warm. 

“Hate the cold,” Gilderoy said, his teeth chattering dramatically. He was looking at James imploringly, though James couldn’t tell why. 

“Yeah, me too,” James said. “It gets cold in New York, but the constant rain here makes things far worse.”  

“Yes, you have to be really tough to last here,” Gilderoy said, vaingloriously. His voice changed so quickly that it felt like he’d been spontaneously possessed by an overconfident, asshole. 

Gilderoy went on to detail the ways in which he was specifically cut out to live in such an uninhabitable environment, despite the fact that there were thousands of other people that also lived in the town. This somehow led him into telling a very obviously false story about coming into contact with a brown bear out on a trail, where Gilderoy managed to tame and befriend it. James just nodded along, smiling politely and doing his best to hold in his incredulous laughter. 

The building with the biology classroom was smaller than the rest and when James walked in he realized why. The front doors opened right into the classroom, not even a hallway to work as a buffer against the cold and wet. James dried his shoes on the rug when he entered. He had chosen to wear Blundstones rather than his typical tennis shoes and he was glad for it. The constant water he was walking in made it so his feet were just slightly cold at all times, and he was pretty sure wet tennis shoes would just make it worse. 

“Hello!” James looked up when he heard the booming voice. “You must be James Potter.” Professor Slughorn was an older man who looked like he lived permanently in tweed jackets. He was very clearly balding, though he wore a toupee that was misplaced and pulled a little too far forward so that the bald spot was still visible beneath it. 

“Yes, sir,” James said. 

“Of course, of course. You look just like Monty,” Slughorn said, patting James on the back. James felt like his feet had fallen out from under him. He hadn’t heard anyone call his father Monty since before his mother died. It felt like the grief might swallow him for a moment. “Here is the seating chart. I’ll be starting class in a moment.” 

James took the chart, shaking off the misery and casting his eyes over it quickly. He was unreasonably relieved when he noticed Gilderoy Lockhart’s name next to a Frank Longbottom. It took another second for him to find his own name and when he did, he felt his stomach swoop pleasantly. There next to James Potter was the name Regulus Black. James took his seat so quickly that he nearly tripped over one of the stools. 

It took a few minutes before Regulus entered the classroom. James kept his eyes down as he pulled out a notebook, but he could feel the moment Regulus entered. It was almost like a magnetic pull, he could feel it in his chest. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Regulus walked elegantly up to the front of the room to check the seating chart. However, James was careful not to watch him as Regulus took his seat next to James. 

James was about to lift his head and introduce himself when Slughorn began class. Slughorn, it turned out, was quite the rambler. He spent most of the class talking about how he knew the great-grandson of the man who founded the college before finally passing out a worksheet for them to fill out. James thought it might be a quiz, like the one he had taken in Calculus, but instead, it was a sheet full of questions about the students. 

James filled them out quickly. Some of them were simple (What is your name? What should I call you?) while some of them were more complicated (What are you passionate about? Why do you love Biology?). Slughorn walked around the class looking at each of their answers as he went. The question “What family member are you closest to?” hit James like a punch to the gut and he had to, once again, breathe through the grief. 

When he was finally finished, he let himself pause for a moment before lifting his head so that he could finally, finally, introduce himself to Regulus. Most of the other students had begun chatting with each other by that point and Slughorn was caught in what sounded like a very boring conversation with Gilderoy, so James knew he still had some time before class started back up. 

However, when his eyes met Regulus’, James had to consciously keep himself from flinching back. The look of sheer rage on Regulus’s face was utterly unexpected. How long had Regulus been looking at him like that? James had been so focused on not looking at Regulus that he hadn’t noticed. 

James expected Regulus to look away once he had been caught staring, but instead, he continued glaring with an untamed savagery. His black eyes looked murderous, and James felt the hair on the back of his neck rise up in response. He audibly swallowed before finally breaking eye contact. 

Regulus was unnaturally still in his peripheral vision, but James could see Regulus watching him. It was unnerving and even Slughorn starting class backup couldn’t distract James from the frightening look beside him. James’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest for the remainder of the class. He didn’t even catch the last ten minutes of Slughorn’s lecture because the sound of his heart was drowning out everything else. 

The moment the bell rang, Regulus was up and out of his chair. He left the room so swiftly that it almost looked like he disappeared without any movement. James swallowed again, his mouth dry from nerves. Why did Regulus hate him so much? When Rita and Peter had talked about the Blacks keeping to themselves, he didn’t think they meant that they outright despised everyone else. What had James done to make him so mad?

“Where to next?” Gilderoy interrupted his thoughts, coming to lean against his table. He spoke flirtatiously, his bright smile so white that James was almost blinded by it.  

“History with Binns,” James answered automatically, but when he saw Gilderoy open his mouth to respond, no doubt to offer to walk him to class, he hurried on. “But I have to get something from my car. I’ll see you later.” 

He gathered his things and left as swiftly as he could. He had about fifteen minutes before he had to be in Binns’s class, but he just needed a few minutes to get his bearings. He felt so out of his depth after facing Regulus’s hate. He planned to go out to his dad’s truck and sit in the cab for a good ten minutes before heading to class. 

He walked down the path quickly, the rain already picking up after its midday lull, and was just about to step out into the parking lot when a car swung around the corner, almost hitting him where he stood. He jumped back, stumbling a little, just barely catching himself before he fell to the ground. 

The car that nearly hit him was black and sleek. It looked incredibly expensive though he was too distracted to catch what brand it actually was. What he did notice, however, was that Regulus Black was the driver. He was just barely visible behind the tinted glass, his pale fingers gripping the black steering wheel as they sped past James and out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. 

What the fuck? James’s hands were shaking, his heart beating so fast that he felt like he might be on the verge of a medical emergency. Regulus Black had almost run him over with his car. James just got here. He’d only been in town for a day. What could he have possibly done to make Regulus hate him so much? 

He never ended up going to his truck, still shaking thinking about the parking lot, he went to the bathroom and hid in a stall before heading to class. Peter sat next to him and they talked idly about things James barely kept up with. He just wanted to get out, he didn’t want to spend another minute at the school. He barely even registered that Lily was also in class with him. He couldn’t bear to look over in case she hated him just as much as Regulus did. 

When the day was finally finished, he was in his truck and out of the parking lot before most of the other students had made it outside. He wanted to head home. Actually, he wanted to head to the airport, fly back to New York, and say fuck it to Godric’s Hollow. But neither of those were viable options. He had to take care of his father and right now his father needed food. At least grocery shopping had nothing to do with Regulus Black. 

There was only one grocery store in town. It was an odd time to shop, four p.m. on a Monday, so it was essentially empty except for the employees when James arrived. James hadn’t thought to make a list, but because he had eaten so little that day, he found it easy to fill his cart with items. He ended up buying a collection of cleaning supplies as well. He had no idea what his father had in the house and didn’t want to be unprepared. 

“Did you find everything okay, dear?” a woman asked. Her name tag read Claire. There was something familiar about her but he wasn’t sure what. 

“Yes, I did,” he replied with a polite smile. 

“Are you Fleamont’s boy?” she asked as she began scanning his items. 

“Oh, yeah,” he responded when it clicked. “You’re Peter’s mother, aren’t you?” 

“Why yes I am,” she said cheerfully. 

“He mentioned you worked here,” James said. “I met him earlier today.”

“Oh my Peter,” she said lovingly. “He’s so social. So, how are you liking the Hollow?” They talked idly as she finished checking him out. She was nice enough, but he could see the barely concealed hungry look in her eye that meant she was planning to take everything he said and immediately share it with everyone she knew. 

James had had enough of Godric’s Hollow for one day. He needed to be done with it all. He went home to find his father sitting on the back porch. He was staring off into the trees completely unaware that James had returned. James didn’t bother to greet him yet. He made quick work of the groceries, putting everything away and starting dinner for both him and his father.  

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know you knew how to cook,” his father said with a chuckle. James looked at him as he walked into the house, smiling like he wasn’t just zoned out in the backyard a moment prior. 

“Well, needs must and all that,” James replied. 

“Mind making enough for four? I invited Lyall and his son over to watch the game,” he said. 

“Sure,” James mumbled. 

He was only planning to make roasted chicken with vegetables so it wasn’t difficult to double the amount. James had never been much of a cook, but after living on his own for so many years, he had slowly begun to teach himself. It was too easy to waste his entire paycheck on takeout in New York, learning how to cook was a necessity. He did his best not to think about all the recipes he’d failed to learn from his mother when he still had time. 

After he finished prepping dinner, he went upstairs and finally unpacked all of his belongings. He had left most of them in his suitcase the night before, too tired from traveling to handle it. He would need to set up his laptop and order the books he needed for classes, but he felt too exhausted to do it that day. 

About half an hour later, Lyall and his son arrived. James hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t remember them, but upon seeing Lyall, he at least remembered a little bit about who they were. The Lupins were part of the Daturachin tribe, a Native community that resided on a reservation nearby. James was pretty sure that his mother had befriended Lyall’s wife before they first moved away. James wondered if it was his father or his mother that had reached back out once they moved back. 

“Lyall,” his father greeted. “Remus.” Remus, Lyall’s son, was several inches shorter than James and rail thin. His skin was a tawny brown lined with scars that covered both his face and hands. James couldn’t remember if he’d had them as a kid, but he guessed not. It seemed the kind of thing that James would have remembered. “You remember my son James?” 

The Lupins, it turned out, were good company. Lyall went right into the living room with James’s father, turning on NFL and immediately getting wrapped up in whichever game was currently on. James hadn’t kept up with professional sports in years. 

“When did you get into town?” Remus asked after following James into the kitchen. 

“Just last night,” James answered automatically. When Remus kept watching him with calm eyes, he went on. “I didn’t want to spend more time here than I had to.” He rubbed the back of his neck uneasily as he spoke. 

Remus chuckled, relieving him of his embarrassment. “Understandable. How long are you planning to stick around?” 

“I’m not really sure,” James said, uncertainly. “He’s… not doing well on his own. I quit my job back home anyways, so there isn’t much to go back to at the moment.” 

Remus nodded. “I get it. I keep thinking about leaving this place, but the thought of my dad here on his own.” Remus paused, looking off toward the living room for a moment. 

“Yeah,” James agreed. Remus didn’t need to finish his thought, James understood. 

“You going to school? Or are you planning to work?” Remus asked, changing the subject. James breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I enrolled in a community college. It seemed like a good time to get a few credits under my belt. I’ll have to find a job though, at least part-time,” James said. “What about you?” 

“I never went to school,” Remus said. “It was too difficult with… well, everything.” James wasn’t sure what he meant, but it was clear that Remus didn’t want to talk about it, so he didn’t ask. “I work as a mechanic right now, just out of my dad’s garage, but it brings in enough cash to keep us above water.”

“Oh, yeah. My dad mentioned that you guys were selling your truck?” James asked. 

“Sold the truck you mean,” Remus said sardonically. James tilted his head in confusion. “Your dad already bought it from us last week, said he was giving it to you. It’s out front if you want to check it out.”

“He already paid for it?” James asked. Remus nodded. James shook his head in confusion. “Right, let’s take a look at it then.” The truck was a deep red color, easily spotted in the lush green wildlife. It was an old Chevy that looked like it had been originally manufactured in the 80s or 90s. At least James would fit right in with the rest of the citizens of Godric’s Hollow. 

“It used to be my dad’s but he gave it to me when I started high school,” Remus explained. “I’ve replaced most of the engine since then.”

“Why are you selling it?” James asked. 

“I was hoping to get something newer with the money from it,” Remus replied. “I’ve gotten a bit bored of working on it. It should run fine, but if you have any issues, just bring it back and I’ll fix it up.”

“Thanks, man,” James said joyfully. At least now he had one less thing to worry about. Having his own car would certainly make him feel less trapped. They went inside a few minutes later when the drizzly rain started to pick up again. James wondered if every day would be like this, the weather just waffling between heavy downpours and light sprinkles. 

Remus was limping by the time they made it back to the kitchen. He held his left leg stiffly out from his body as he walked. 

“You all right?” James asked, taking the chicken out of the oven a second before the timer went off. 

“Yeah,” Remus answered automatically, though he cringed slightly when he tried to lean casually against the counter and had to resettle when it dug into his hip uncomfortably. James raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. “It’s not a big deal. My hip only hurts when it’s raining.” 

James looked out the window above the sink at the pouring rain before looking back with dubiety. Remus chuckled helplessly. “Do you mind if I ask what happened?” 

Remus shook his head a little. “No, it’s fine. It was a car accident. It happened when I was ten. My mother — she was killed in the accident. We were hit by a drunk driver. Hence the… ” Remus cut off and gestured to the scarring on his face. 

“Ah,” James said. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“Anyways,” Remus said before clearing his throat uncomfortably, “I have permanent damage that was done to my hip. It’s usually not so bad, but sometimes it just gets a bit stiff.” James nodded in understanding though he wasn’t sure he could ever fully comprehend the pain Remus was in. James had lost his mother, just as Remus had, but he also knew it was coming. She had been sick for a while before she finally passed. To lose her in a violent instant was something entirely different. 

“When did you and your dad start coming over?” James asked. He was in the middle of serving plates of food and Remus took them both over to Lyall and James’s father. 

“A couple of months back,” Remus said. “We didn’t realize your mom had passed, but it had been almost a year since my dad heard from yours, so he reached back out.” 

“I’m glad he had someone,” James said. 

“Yeah, I think it’s been good for them,” Remus said with a one-shouldered shrug. 

They spent the rest of the night sitting around the tv chatting. Lyall and his father only talked every now and again, but they both seemed comfortable with each other. James and Remus talked about Remus’s upcoming projects and the different cars he was thinking about buying. Remus asked about James’s life in New York and for once, James didn’t feel completely bogged down by the desire to repeat the same cookie-cutter information he’d given everyone else. 

By the time they left, James and Remus had exchanged numbers and planned to meet up again that weekend. James was grateful for it. He found that he really liked Remus’s company. He was relaxed and accepting in a way that reminded James of a few of his friends from back in New York. 

James spent the evening organizing his syllabi, adding things to his calendar, and making a plan to actually complete his homework. It had been so long since he’d been in school that he knew it would take a while before he settled into a rhythm again. The strangest part of the community college was the way their schedule worked, with classes only every other day. This meant that he had both Tuesdays and Thursdays free.

The next morning, when faced with a full day with nothing to do, he decided to head out and try to find some kind of part-time job. He couldn’t bear to spend all day in the half-decorated home where his mother had spent her final days. He had noticed the night before that several boxes still sat unpacked in the living room. The walls were barren and empty, all their family photos still packed away. It was depressing and James could already feel himself slipping into that immeasurable agony that had consumed him for months after his mother died. 

The one good thing about living with his father was that he didn’t have to spend thousands of dollars a month on rent and living expenses. It was especially nice given his father’s decision to buy James a car so that James didn’t have to spend any of his own money. However, he didn’t think it would be a good idea to spend months and months without any income. If anything, now was the perfect time to try and save up money, a task that was nearly impossible before. 

His father was outside on the porch drinking coffee when James came downstairs. James made a quick breakfast for both of them before heading out. His father didn’t speak much as they ate, only asking once what James’s plan for the day was before he went back outside. James’s father hadn’t worked since before his mother got sick. James wondered if all the free time was starting to drain the man. 

James headed out in his new truck. It was raining, as usual, though not terribly hard. The inside of the truck smelled clean like a forest right after it rained. It was much more pleasant than the smell in his father’s truck. There wasn’t much in the town, only a few shops, a police and fire station, a dinky little library, a post office that was about the size of a garden shed, and the grocery store. There was a vet’s office on the outskirts of town that James noticed, but he doubted he would have the appropriate skills to work there. 

He was close to giving up when he drove past a store with a ‘Help Wanted’ sign on the front door. The shop, Longbottom’s Outfitters, was a few blocks from the main part of town, a little out of the way, but still close by. James recognized the name, but he couldn’t quite place it. A bell above the door jingled when he opened it. The inside of the store was completely empty except for a man about his age who was sitting behind the counter. 

“Hello,” James greeted. The man looked up and James finally remembered where he knew the name from. This guy, Longbottom, was in the same class as him and Regulus. 

“Hey, James,” Longbottom greeted cheerfully. James shouldn’t have been surprised that he already knew his name, but he was regardless. 

“Hey,” James repeated before realizing he’d already said that. He glanced at the man’s name tag. Frank. “I saw the help wanted sign out front. I was just wondering if you’re still hiring.”

“Oh thank god,” Frank said quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth. “Sorry! Mom — my mom, she has been looking forever and she’s making me work here until we can find a replacement.”

“That bad, huh?” James replied, only half joking. Frank’s face drained of color. 

“No, no,” Frank said swiftly. “It’s really not bad. Maybe a little boring. But really, it’s not bad. Oh my god, please don’t leave.” James couldn’t help the laugh that came out of him. 

“Relax Frank,” he said while chuckling. “I’m still interested.”

“Oh, god,” Frank repeated. “I’m sorry, I don’t usually — there’s not usually people here.” 

“It’s okay,” James said, waving him off. 

Frank, James discovered, actually wanted to get a job working at the vet's office. He had already talked to the main veterinarian who ran the place, who had agreed to take Frank on as an apprentice while he worked through school. However, Frank’s elderly mother apparently wasn’t spry enough to run the shop on her own and had kept Frank there to run it in her place. 

James didn’t mind so much though. It seemed like a steady job and the pay was deceptively good considering where they were, so he took the job offer on the spot, agreeing to start work that weekend. He left feeling satisfied. 

The rest of his day was boring and slow. The internet barely worked in his father’s house and James resolved to call the provider to get it fixed eventually. An hour or so before he planned to make dinner, his father entered his room and asked if he wanted to go to the local diner. 

It was a nice place, very cozy. It was one of the few places in town that James actually remembered from his childhood. The woman who ran it, Rosmerta, had loved James’s mom, and James had ended up spending hours there while his mother and Rosmerta caught up each week. Rosmerta was just as sweet now. She was beautiful, her blonde curly hair piled high on her head, and she had a smile that made nearly every person who entered the diner tip her far more than they usually would. James didn’t mind though, he found that it was nice just to get out of the house and it was good to see his father dressed and socializing, even if just for a bit. 

“Good to see you, Monty,” Rosmerta said with a smirk. “And James, look at you. You’re all grown up.” 

James chuckled a little, nodding when she reached out to squeeze his shoulder. He wondered how many young boys and girls had their first crushes on Rosmerta. 

“Evening, Rose,” his father said. He had a small smile on his face, polite but reserved. 

“Usual?” she asked. They took a seat at the bar. 

“Yes, please,” his father responded. 

“And you James?” she asked, turning her gaze on him. She had a softness to her that reminded James so much of his mom. It made him ache uncomfortably. 

“I’ll have the same,” he replied, mostly to save time. ‘The usual’ ended up being a garden burger with a side salad. 

“How often do you come here?” James asked once he and his father were alone again. 

“About every two weeks,” his father answered, but he wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Dad,” James said, chastising. 

“It’s hard to cook for one, you know? Since your mom — well, I don’t like to cook dinner for just myself,” his father said quietly. 

James nodded. He had been expecting that answer. “Do you eat a burger every single time you come here?” 

His father looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Mind your own business,” he said. The words weren’t harsh, if anything they were a little playful. James couldn’t remember the last time he and his dad joked around together. 

James snickered. “You can’t keep that up,” James said, not unkindly. 

His dad shrugged. “Did you find anything today?” 

“Oh, yeah. At the Longbottom’s place,” he said. 

“Augusta’s place?” his father asked, giving him a curious look. 

“Yep,” James said. “I’m taking over for Frank.” 

“That’s good, that’s good. Augusta can be a bit…” his father looked around like someone might be listening. “She’s a good woman. Just a bit controlling.”

“Yeah, I got that idea,” James replied. “Frank seemed pretty relieved.” 

“Well, good,” his father said. “I’m — I hope you’ll be happy here, James.” 

James paused for a second, taking a moment to think about what his father just said. “Thanks, dad. I do too,” he said quietly. Like most moments with his dad, he wished his mother was there to see it. He never realized how much she bridged the gap between them, how hard she worked to keep them all together. Now, it just felt like a large empty hole was left in their father-son relationship. They finished eating in mostly silence, only talking when Rosmerta came by to check on them. He knew it would be difficult to come back. He had to have a little patience. 

That night, as James listened to the rain patter down on the roof, he finally allowed himself to think about Regulus Black again. He had been doing a good job of keeping the thoughts of the murderous, angry, beautiful boy out of his head, but now that he had nothing else to consume him, all he could think about was those incomprehensible black eyes carved out of that alluring face. 

He hated the way that his heart sped up as he thought about Regulus. The guy hated him, hated him so much that he had almost run James over with his car, and yet James kept thinking about what it would feel like to have those pale fingers wrapped around his neck. 

Chapter Text

Wednesday was better... and worse. 

It was better because James remembered to bring lunch from home, so he didn’t have to eat the food in the cafeteria. It was better because James actually remembered where all of his classes were and didn’t have to look at the map, not that Peter, Rita, or Gilderoy were inclined to let him walk on his own. And it was better because he finally started to feel a little more comfortable in all of his classes, though he still hadn’t purchased any of his textbooks. 

It was worse because he was exhausted. The quiet in his father’s house kept him up at night, he would fall asleep only to jolt awake not long after, the silence making his chest tight for no discernible reason. It was worse because the rain nearly made him crash the truck his father had just purchased him — James was really not accustomed to driving, having never done it in New York. And it was worse because Regulus Black wasn’t in school at all. 

James spent much of the day Wednesday worrying about seeing the beautiful boy with black curly hair. He kept replaying the look of murderous rage Regulus had on his face and flinching internally. He had been upset about it, he would admit. Annoyed mostly, that a person who didn’t even know him could hate him so much. But by the time lunch rolled around and Regulus was nowhere in sight, despite the rest of his family sitting in the cafeteria, not speaking to one another and altogether avoiding eye contact with everyone, James started to feel insecure. 

He had always felt like he was too much, though he never shared that specific feeling with anyone. At parties or when he was meeting someone for the first time, he was often too loud or too boisterous. He would think and overthink the interactions later, wondering if he had overwhelmed the person by being too intense. 

James had a pathological need to be liked by everyone. He knew it wasn’t healthy or productive, but it was there regardless. He thought it might have come from the time when he was a little kid and he struggled to make friends at his elementary school. It had been a private school, one his grandfather was paying far too much for, and the rest of the students were not accustomed to having a non-white person in their class. He recognized now that it wasn’t his fault that they didn’t like him, but that didn’t mean that that feeling didn’t persist. 

The feeling of being unwanted and disliked was too much for him. And the thought that Regulus Black hated him so much that he would leave school made James sick to his stomach. He had been so consumed by nervousness about seeing him again, that he hadn’t even considered the possibility that he might not be there. James tried not to dwell on it, but the feeling that he had somehow chased the beautiful boy out of the school made him feel like shit. 

“You need to just talk to her, man,” Peter said. James looked away from where he was staring at the empty seat where Regulus should have been sitting at lunch. Peter was talking to Frank Longbottom, whose face was growing increasingly red with embarrassment. 

“I can’t just talk to her,” Frank said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “What would I even say?”

Peter rolled his eyes quickly, before shaking his head at Frank. “Honestly, you’re being ridiculous. She is probably already into you.”

“Who are we talking about?” James interjected. Rita had been watching the interaction with a bored, glazed-over look, but when James showed interest, she jumped in to answer the question. 

“Frank here has a crush on Alice,” Rita said, a sharp smile crossing her face. She said the words like the fact that Frank would ever even think about having a crush on someone was somehow laughable. There was a cruelty to it that made James very uncomfortable. 

“Alice?” James asked as he tore his eyes away from Rita’s vicious face. Frank was watching Rita as well before James spoke, his eyes wide like a wild animal. 

“The girl who works in the front office,” Peter answered when Frank didn’t respond. 

“Oh,” James said with a nod, remembering the woman who had helped him sign up for classes. She was attractive, though not exactly James’s type. “I get it,” James added with a small nod. Frank looked crestfallen. 

“What?” Frank breathed before throwing his hands up in the air in defeat. “Great, now I definitely don’t have a chance with her.” 

James laughed at Frank’s exaggeration. “Relax, I’m not interested in her,” he said honestly. 

“Who are you not interested in?” Gilderoy said, turning his full attention to James, a flirty smile already firmly in place. He had been overly focused on the food he had been eating, taking tiny bites as if trying not to get wrinkled from the mere act of chewing. James had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. 

“No one,” James said quickly, Regulus’s angry face flashing before his eyes for a split second. James felt a mild embarrassment about it, though no one else seemed to notice the way he blanched.

“Alice,” Rita said at the same time, shaking her head a little like it was obvious that James wouldn’t be into her. 

“Ah, Alice. You’re too good for her anyways,” Gilderoy said with a wink, his perfect grin growing even wider. James cringed a bit. 

“Hey! Don’t talk about her like that. James would be lucky to date a girl like her! Er… no offense, James,” Frank said, looking a little chagrined. 

James laughed loudly, covering his mouth to muffle the noise. “It’s fine,” James said. “You should go for it though. She seems nice.” 

“Well, if you’re not interested in Alice, then who are you interested in?” Rita asked, a slightly predatory look on her face. 

“No one,” James said, only partially lying. “I mean, I just got here. I don’t really know anyone yet.” James pointedly ignored the pouty look that Gilderoy had. Rita looked just as disappointed though James doubted it was for the same reason. 

They went off to class shortly after that. James walked with Frank, trying to put some distance between himself and Gilderoy. It was flattering that Gilderoy seemed interested in him, but James was pretty sure it was just because Gilderoy wanted attention rather than anything beyond that. Moreover, James was simply not interested in the man. There was an inauthenticity to him that rubbed James the wrong way. 

He experienced another bout of nervousness when he walked into class, but Regulus never showed up and James breathed a sigh of relief, his shoulder relaxing from where he had hiked them up around his ears. If there was a little disappointment mixed in, then no one else had to know, though the embarrassment James felt over the feeling was hard to dismiss. In History, Binns gave them a small piece of the book to read rather than lecturing. James wasn’t really sure what the point of being in class was if all they were going to do was silently read to themselves, though he didn’t say anything out loud. 

Peter was busy pulling out loose pieces of paper from his backpack. He had told James earlier that he didn’t feel like wasting money on the textbooks and had just copied the pages in the library, though it was clear all the copies were very disorganized. James posited that most things in Peter’s life were like the copied pages. 

“You can share my book if you want,” a woman spoke from the other side of James. 

James looked up and his breath caught immediately. He had been so consumed by Regulus, his angry black eyes and his long, slender fingers, that he had completely forgotten about Lily with her vibrant red hair. She tilted her head to the side, looking at him curiously. He snapped his mouth shut, only just realizing that it was hanging open. 

“Sure, that would be great,” James said, an uncomfortable blush warming his face. Lily gave him a slight smile and pushed her book to the edge of her desk so that he was able to see it. He leaned in closer, doing his best to take in the words, though he found being so close to her a bit distracting. 

She had an intoxicating aroma to her. He wasn’t even sure that he could put into words what it smelled like, but it was sweet and floral and made his mouth water slightly. Every time her hair shifted, he would get another whiff of lilac and citrus shampoo. 

“Are you ready for me to turn the page?” she asked kindly. Her voice was bright and gentle, the way one might imagine a spring goddess’ would be. 

“Yeah, go ahead,” James said, though he hadn’t understood a single word that he’d read. He wasn’t sure that it mattered much. 

At one point, he glanced up at her, almost against his will, and found that she was already watching him. He looked away quickly, though he noticed that she never stopped watching him. James looked back up a few moments later and she smiled in response. 

“Do you like history, James?” she asked. James loved the way she said his name. For the first time, he noticed a slight southern lilt to her voice. 

“It’s okay,” James responded. “It wasn’t ever my favorite in school, but I didn’t mind it either.” 

She laughed a little, though James didn’t understand why. “Yes, I understand,” she said. “It can be quite boring to read about the adventures of people who lived so long ago.” James nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah, it’s a bit hard to understand what it all means. Especially, when it’s written like this, just facts listed on a page,” James said. “It’s difficult to remember that these were real people.” 

“I agree,” she said. She looked at him again with a smile. Her eyes were the most interesting color. While they were primarily green, a color so vibrant that it looked almost radioactive, the center closest to her pupil was a bright and glittery golden. It was impossible to look away, he felt like he was being sucked into them until she finally broke eye contact. 

James cleared his throat and went back to pretending to read. Lily seemed to watch him and notice when he was almost done with a page, though his eyes were just tracking the words without taking them in, and she would turn the page right on cue. 

“That’s enough of that for today,” Binns said when there was about half an hour left of class, letting them out early. 

Lily gave him a wide smile and wave as she left. James followed her out the door with Peter by his side, watching as she ran off to latch arms with Pandora, who looked back at James with a knowing look. 

“Wow, I can’t believe she talked to you,” Peter said, his voice filled with awe. 

“I know,” was all James could say in reply. He walked out to his truck, waving to Peter when he broke off to start walking home. James had offered him a ride, but Peter had declined since it wasn’t raining anymore. James noticed that as Frank unlocked his small green Subaru, fumbling with his keys as his eyes stayed glued to the front office door. It was sweet, James thought, and a little pathetic. He would have to do something to help the boy out. 

His father was out on the back porch again when he got home, James wondered how much time he spent out there. He would have to look into getting better outdoor furniture, so his dad didn’t have to sit on a half-broken plastic chair all day. He made dinner quickly before heading to bed that night. He was so tired after several days with little sleep and he couldn’t shake off the feelings of Regulus’s absence, though he did his best not to think about it. He had never been good at avoiding thoughts , but he couldn’t ever just put things aside when they bothered him. Instead, they would lurk in every corner of his mind, waiting until his guard was even slightly dropped before attacking. 

On Thursday, he went out to the local library, a tiny brick building where only half the lights worked. A woman dressed in a thick wool skirt and a button-up shirt that looked like it was about twenty years old worked the front desk. She had a sharp face like a bird of prey and she watched James from over her glasses. She gave him a glare when he entered, so he hurried past her. 

Unfortunately, all the books he needed for classes were missing. He had hoped he could do what Peter did and copy some of his readings to tide him over before he made the journey to the next town over to actually buy them, but all the ones he needed were gone. He walked back up to the librarian, resigning himself to asking the intimidating woman for help. 

“Hello, I was wondering if you could help me?” James asked, trying to be polite as possible, though the woman’s glare never faltered. “Could you tell me when these books are due back?” He asked, passing her a list of the textbooks he needed. 

She looked at the list and typed a few things into her ancient computer, the sound of her typing echoed in the tiny building, seeming far louder than it probably was. She typed very slowly like she was just learning how to use a keyboard after avoiding it for years. She didn’t look like the kind of woman who was overly inclined to learn new technology. “They are checked out indefinitely,” the woman responded. 

“What?” he asked, a little too loudly, given how the librarian shushed him. “I didn’t know that was a possibility.”

“It’s not,” she answered tersely. “Except for the person who checked those specific books out. I allow her to keep books for as long as she needs.”

“Why?” James asked, bewildered. 

“That is not your business young man,” she said sternly. “Now, is there anything else you need?” 

“I guess not,” James muttered before leaving with his tail between his legs. He wondered who had come in the last few days to check out every single book he needed. He thought back to all the students who shared his classes, but he wasn’t even sure there was a single student that was in all of them. 

Friday morning dawned with a wave of rain so heavy that it filled the silence that permeated the house and let him get some much-needed sleep before he had to drag himself out of bed to head to campus. He drove way under the speed limit, too skittish to drive too quickly, though he was honked at by three different cars during the short drive to school. It was highly embarrassing. James resolved to spend some time driving that weekend to get more comfortable with it. He felt like a little fifteen-year-old, learning how to drive for the first time all over again. He still remembered his parents trying to teach him, both individually, and as a pair, before the stress of it overwhelmed them and they pawned his learning off on a driving instructor. 

When he pulled into the parking lot, he noticed Lily standing under one of the awnings, looking up and apparently arguing with the tallest memory of the Black family. Barty, James reminded himself. Pandora and Evan were standing nearby, a little off to the side watching their partners fight with each other, both with mildly bored looks on their faces. 

They were all dressed impeccably. James hadn’t noticed it before, but they were all wearing high-end clothing typically worn by people with old money. They were dressed ‘casually’ but James had spent enough time around pompous rich people at his catering job to notice when they were dressed so only other rich people would notice how much money they had, like a secret language all rich people spoke. It somehow didn’t surprise him that people that beautiful would be rich as well. 

It wasn’t like his family was poor exactly, but when he left home to move to New York, his father all but cut him off from the family funds. His father told him it was so James would “learn the value of money,” though for James, it just felt like the beginning of the end of their relationship. His mother would sometimes send him a few hundred dollars every now and again, telling him not to tell his father about it. The memory of his mother's secret little smiles made his stomach clench painfully, a hollow feeling in his chest. 

He watched Lily and Barty again. Lily was short, maybe only five-three, if James had to guess, and she had to crane her neck to look Barty in the eyes, though it didn’t seem to bother her. She was pointing at him, a long fingernail poking into his chest periodically as she spoke rapidly. Barty watched her with his chaos-filled eyes, looking completely unaffected by whatever angry words she spoke. If anything, they just made his smirk grow wider. 

Almost like he knew James was watching him, Barty suddenly looked up and their eyes met. James looked away, pretending to look in his bag that lay in the passenger seat for something, but not before he noticed the raptorial look crossing Barty’s face. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, goosebumps breaking out across his arms. When James finally looked back up, all four of them were gone, off to their first class. 

James felt only a slight flutter in his chest when he walked into the cafeteria later, but Regulus wasn’t there again and he didn’t show up the entire time. James went to class, listening to Slughorn chat with each student, wasting most of the class time. Binns lectured again, though it was slow and dull and James struggled to keep his eyes open. Lily, he noticed, wasn’t in class that day. He wondered if he was just chasing them all off. 

“Why is Barty staring at you?” Peter asked as they left History class. James looked up to see Barty standing by his car, the rain had picked up again and had drenched the man from head to toe, though Barty seemed unfazed by it. 

“I don’t know,” James answered honestly, sounding a little baffled. “Maybe it’s you he’s looking at?” James said, though he didn’t quite believe his own words. 

“You think so?” Peter asked, sounding far too happy about it considering how off-kilter Barty’s stare seemed. James shrugged. 

“You want a ride home today?” James asked. It took Peter a long moment to answer, still distracted by Barty and his predatory eyes. 

“Yeah, suppose it might be too much to walk in this,” Peter said, finally tearing his eyes away to look at the torrential rain. 

“Hey, you know the librarian?” James asked later as he drove out of the parking lot. Peter sat stiffly in the passenger’s seat, looking out the side window. 

“Pince? Yeah, what about her?” Peter responded distractedly. 

“She’s intense,” James said vaguely. Peter snickered, still looking out the window.

“Yeah, that’s a nice way to say that she’s a bitch,” Peter responded with a laugh. 

“Yeah,” James agreed, though he felt a little uncomfortable calling any woman that, even one as intimidating as Pince. “Do you know who it is that she lets check books out indefinitely?” 

“Huh?” Peter asked, finally giving James his full attention. “What do you mean?” 

James told him about his interaction with her. “I don’t even know who would need all those same books,” James said helplessly. 

“I bet Alice would know,” Peter said. “She has access to everyone's schedules. No idea who Pince would like enough to let them keep books as long as they wanted though. Turn here.” He gestured toward a small, partially paved road. James was glad he was driving a truck far enough from the ground that the gravel didn’t affect him too much. He vaguely wondered if he would need a four-wheel drive to get back onto the main road. 

Peter lived in a small, one-story home that looked like it was partially falling apart. The front windows had cardboard boxes taped to the inside of them, most likely to keep leaks from seeping through. The white paint on the house was peeling and eroding in multiple places, and James could see the unfinished wood beneath it. 

“Thanks,” Peter said quietly, opening the door to leave. James noticed a slight dusting of pink on his already red cheeks. 

“Anytime,” James said, driving off quickly once Peter was out of the car. 

“Want to go to the diner?” his father asked once James was home. James gave him a disapproving look. “I’ll get a salad, promise.” 

James agreed, but mostly because he was glad to see his father talking rather than sitting outside and staring off into space. “Yeah, I need to shower though. We’ll go in like an hour?” His father nodded. 

The diner was packed, or at least as packed as a restaurant could be in the small town of Godric’s Hollow. James and his father sat at the bar again and Rosmerta immediately brought them both a draft beer. “On the house,” she said with a smile. James gave her a curious look, but she just walked off to help another customer. 

“She does this most Fridays,” his father said when James looked at him confused. 

“That’s why you wanted to come,” James said with a shake of his head. His father smiled a little, looking totally unrepentant. 

“Fleamont!” a loud voice said, walking up to them. A man about his dad’s age slapped his dad roughly on the back, smiling wildly. He had an energy about him that reminded James bizarrely of a raccoon as if he was a nocturnal scavenger. He was balding very obviously, though the hair he did have on the back of his head was gelled down. He wore a mechanics jumpsuit that looked like it had seen better days. 

“Mundungus,” his father greeted, a very obviously fake smile on his face. The two chatted blandly, and to James’s surprise, neither of them mentioned him. Mundungus occasionally gave him curious looks but he never made an effort to introduce himself. James mostly ignored them, reading over the menu and occasionally looking around the diner at the locals.

“See you around,” Mundungus said before sauntering off to an empty table that was covered in half-eaten plates of food. 

“Whatever you do, do not talk to that man,” his father whispered, leaning in close so they wouldn’t be overheard.

“What?” James asked, but Rosmerta interrupted them. 

“What can I get for you boys?” she asked. She was wearing a button-down shirt that was opened far enough that her cleavage was extremely visible. James did his best not to stare, opting to look down at his menu instead. He wondered if she got more tips on Fridays like this. “The usual?” 

“Not today,” his father said cheerfully. “I’ll do a chopped salad with steak.” He shot James a smile. James returned it. 

“I’ll do the same,” James said. 

“Who are you trying to be fit for?” she said with a wink, chuckling when it caused both men to blush slightly. 

They ate mostly in silence, though they were interrupted when a large man sitting a ways down at the bar started crying loudly. James looked at him oddly, only then noticing that his Calculus professor was on the opposite side of the man, gently patting him on his wide back. James caught Flitwick’s eye and gave him a polite wave. 

“Mr. Potter,” Flitwick called before ambling over toward him quickly. “Good to see you out and about. Is this your father?”

“Fleamont Potter,” his father introduced himself. The two of them shook hands. 

“Is your friend okay?” James asked. 

“Oh, Hagrid,” Flitwick said. They all looked over to see him crying quietly into a bowl of stew. At least he wasn’t full-on sobbing anymore. “He’s fine, he just gets a little too excited about new pets sometimes.”

James tilted his head in question. 

“Hagrid has an affinity for large and dangerous animals. Our local vet always helps fix them up for him, but he also almost always makes Hagrid release them back into the wild. Hagrid tends to grow attached rather quickly,” Flitwick said with a sardonic little smile. 

James chuckled. “Poor guy,” his father spoke. Flitwick nodded with false seriousness. 

“I’ll let you get back to your meal. Good to see you, Mr. Potter,” he said, heading back to his seat next to Hagrid. 

“Wonder which animal he had to release today,” his father said quietly. 

“Yeah,” James said with a laugh. They finally finished eating, his father taking far longer to eat his salad than James did. “What did you mean about that guy? Mundungus?” James asked as they walked out of the restaurant. 

“Oh, he’s a slimy fellow,” his dad mumbled. “After we moved here he tried to convince us to give him anything that had been left in the house from the previous owners, claimed to be one of them. Of course, that wasn’t true considering the past owner had been dead for several years before we bought the house.” 

James pondered that on the way home. He wondered if Mundungus had approached his father much since his mom died. That thought made him angry, and he had to grit his teeth to keep the feelings from spilling out. Much of his mother’s belongings were still boxed up though, having never been unpacked after they moved to Godric’s Hollow. Still, he got the sudden urge to unpack all of them and make sure nothing was missing. 

With Saturday morning came the first rain-free sky that James had encountered since moving there. It was still overcast, but at least the constant wetness had let up for a bit. This also meant that he woke far earlier than he intended, still not used to the silence in his room. He was gradually growing accustomed to it, but it was still frustrating. 

He had a quick breakfast of toast and eggs, making some for his father and setting it aside for when he came downstairs with that he headed to Longbottom’s Outfitters for his first day of work. It was nice not having to drive through the rain for once, it made it far easier to learn his new route to work. 

“Morning,” Frank greeted him blearily when he opened the door to the shop. It was still early, only a little after eight in the morning, but the shop didn’t open till nine. “You won’t have to get here this early every day but figured it would give me some time to train you.”

“Sounds good,” James said, trying for cheerful, though he was sure his tiredness was more than obvious. Running the Outfitters was easier than he expected. They had restocks on Tuesday so Frank decided he would stay on and work those days. His mother would run it Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, which left only Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday for James, which he didn’t mind at all. It was only open till four in the afternoon anyways so it would never be a very long day. 

“So, that’s about it,” Frank said after giving James a tour of the shop and a rundown of how to use the cash register. By that point, it was only about 8:20. The two of them headed behind the counter, where Frank showed him the best place to keep any stuff he wanted to work on during the day. “It’s not a bad place to get homework done.” 

“What are your plans for the day?” James asked politely after Frank fell silent. He wondered if Frank was anxious to leave. 

Frank rubbed the back of his neck for a second. “It’s my first day working at the vet’s office,” Frank said with a small, but proud smile. 

“Congrats, man,” James said genuinely. He sent Frank on his way just a little bit later, giving him a pat on the back. James spent the next three hours alone in the shop. The first customers to come in were a couple who was planning to do some hiking nearby. After that, things picked up a bit but only enough to keep him moderately busy, and by the end of the day, he understood what Frank meant about it being a good place to get homework done. 

James locked up the shop a little after four, pleased that the rain had held off all day, and headed back home. He decided to take care of some of the dishes from that week. It wasn’t his favorite chore, and if the state of the kitchen was any indicator, it wasn’t something his dad would bother to do. 

He ended up pulling the dishwasher out of its spot on the wall, trying his best to figure out how to attach it to the waterline, but plumbing had never been his strong suit and he couldn’t quite figure it out. 

“What are you doing?” his father’s curious voice floated into the room. James sat up, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. 

“Trying to fix this thing,” James said. “Has it ever worked?” 

“Yeah, used to,” his father replied. “It broke a few months ago. I had to disconnect it to keep it from leaking everywhere. Just never got around to fixing it I guess.”

“We’ll have to call a plumber,” James said, standing up and groaning as he stretched the muscles in his back. 

“What’s the dinner plan?” his father asked after a few minutes of silence. 

“Well, I was about to head down to the Lupins. Want to call them and see if they want to eat with us?” James asked, already worn out from the day and not looking forward to cooking. His father agreed. It turned out Lyall was already planning to invite both of them to dinner, so it worked out well, and a half hour later James and his father loaded up into his father’s truck to head to the Reservation. 

The Reservation wasn’t far from Godric’s Hollow, only about a twenty-minute drive, but the road there was old and had nearly no street lights. It put James on edge riding through an area so heavily wooded without light. He wondered if people ever crashed their cars on the curves or hit animals that ran out into the road. The Lupins lived just inside the Reservation, a block or two out from the trees. Their driveway was long and windy, half overgrown with greenery. 

The house was a small, brown two-bedroom that looked like something out of a cozy cabin photoshoot. Behind it was a garage that was nearly the same size as the house, a small pathway leading between them. There was a tiny sign above the garage door that said “Lupin’s Garage” with a phone number written underneath. James wondered how they managed to get business with such a remote location. 

Lyall came out of the front door right after he threw the car into park. “Hey!” Lyall greeted, loudly. “Remus is in the garage if you want to let him know you’re here.”

“Thanks,” James said, leaving his father and Lyall to catch up and heading down the path toward the garage. The big garage door was open, and James could hear the faint sound of someone speaking coming from it. When he walked in, he realized it was some kind of audiobook playing. He shook his head fondly, only Remus would be listening to an audiobook while he worked on cars. 

“Remus?” he called out. 

“Back here,” Remus responded, standing up from behind a car hood he was working under. He was dressed in a thick flannel and ripped-up jeans, both of which appeared to be a size too big for him. “How’s it going?” Remus asked as he wiped his hands on a towel hanging off of his belt. 

“Fine,” James said. The two of them collapsed into lawn chairs Remus had set up in the room, Remus reaching into a half-hidden mini fridge to hand James a beer. “What are you working on?” 

“It’s my friend's car,” Remus said. “It’s a piece of junk, though don't tell her I told you that, she loves the old thing. I’m just trying to make sure it can run for a few more years.” James chuckled just as he heard the sound of a car pulling up. “Speak of the devil,” Remus muttered, though there was a smile on his face. He didn’t bother getting up. 

A few seconds later two Native girls came strolling into the garage. 

“‘Lo Mr. Lupin,” one of them spoke around a piece of gum that she was chewing lazily. She had light brown skin with blonde hair chopped into a shag haircut. Her dark brown roots were clearly growing in, but they looked purposeful. She had intense and dark eye makeup on that made her light brown eyes appear to glow slightly. 

“I think we need to have a funeral for him, Marlene,” Remus responded, kicking the tire of the car he had been working on. 

“Fuck off,” the other one responded. She had dark skin and pitch-black hair separated into four braids that fell around her head. She was the taller of the two and wore a black crop top that showed off her very muscled abs. “Whose this?” she asked, nodding toward James. 

“This is James, he just moved to the Hollow,” Remus said, already pulling out two more beers for the girls. “James, this is Marlene,” he said, gesturing to the girl with blonde hair who took the beer and jumped up to sit on the trunk of her car. “And that’s Dorcas.”

James stood up quickly and offered his seat to Dorcas, who took it with a wide grin. Remus just shook his head fondly. “Nice to meet you,” James said. 

“Likewise,” Marlene said. “I honestly didn’t know Remus had any other friends.” 

“Ah, well it’s a recent development,” James said jokingly. 

“So, you used to live here? Why did you move back?” Dorcas asked, watching James closely. 

“Came back to take care of my dad,” James said with a shrug. Both of the girls nodded. He guessed their friendship with Remus probably helped them understand. 

“Dorcas used to live in New York too,” Remus said. 

“Oh?” James said, looking at her. 

“Only for two years,” Dorcas said. “I missed home too much though.” James thought he noticed her eyes flitter over toward Marlene, but it was so quick he thought he might have imagined it. 

They stayed to chat for a while before Lyall came to tell them that dinner was ready. “You girls are welcome to stay,” Lyall said, though he only threw it over his shoulder haphazardly. 

“He secretly loves me,” Marlene said to which Dorcas snickered. 

“We’ll head out,” Dorcas said. “See you around, James.” James waved them off. 

“I hadn’t expected you to have friends like that,” James said. 

“What do you mean?” Remus asked curiously. 

“I don’t know. Girls,” James said. Remus laughed loudly and shoved his shoulder. James laughed along. “Are they…” James said, trailing off. 

“Together?” Remus supplied with a knowing smirk. James nodded. “No,” Remus said with an eye roll. “No idea why not. I’ve known them both for years, basically since we were kids, and it’s so obvious to me. They’re both idiots.” James chuckled again. 

He felt refreshed after spending the night with such fun people. He had already decided that he liked Remus, but Marlene and Dorcas were easy company whom he could see himself being genuine friends with. 

Lyall and his father were watching football, of course, by the time they came inside and they all ate around the TV before heading home. It was overall a relaxing night and James managed to only think about Regulus one time, which he thought was pretty good all things considered. He had only met the man one time, and he hadn’t even really met him, just sat next to him for a little over an hour. He felt stupid for being consumed with thoughts of him. 

On Sunday after work, James drove around Godric’s Hollow doing his best to practice making turns and stopping without slamming on his brakes. It was a difficult task, but he thought it might be getting better. The rain had held off most of the day and it was only drizzling now. His thoughts had been pretty clear most of the day, but as he drove around looking at the various houses scattered in and around the town, he caught himself wondering where Regulus and the rest of his family lived. He wondered if he had driven past their house. 

He was driving past the vet’s office when he noticed Frank’s beat-up old Subaru in the parking lot. James smiled to himself, happy that he could play a part in helping Frank work toward his dream. Next to Frank’s car was a giant red truck with a KUV body attached to it and beside that was a tiny black Audi. James couldn’t be sure, given how fast Regulus was driving, but he thought it looked similar to the car Regulus used to almost run James over. 

James was busy thinking about that when the door to the vet opened. He nearly crashed his truck. Out of the vet door walked Hagrid, no doubt the owner of the red truck, and behind him was a man James could have sworn was Regulus. They had the exact same build, and from a brief glance, very similar facial structures. It was only after a moment that he noticed the different hair. This man’s hair, while still black and curly and beautiful, was long, coming down to just past his shoulders, the top parts clipped up on the back of his head. 

The man and Hagrid looked at James curiously when he almost crashed, and James sped up to get away from their curious eyes. Who was that? James tried to remember if Peter or Rita had mentioned another member of the family. He couldn’t recall, but he figured it would be the kind of thing difficult to forget. He would have to find a way to tactfully ask Frank the next time he saw him. 

He drove home quickly after that and resolutely did not think about Regulus or any of his stupid relatives. He still didn’t have any homework yet for any of his classes, which he was grateful for, so he spent the night going through and organizing his closet just to keep busy. He texted a few of his friends from New York, but it was clear they were otherwise occupied and didn’t have much time to talk to him. James felt very homesick. 

The next morning he got dressed in an outfit much more appropriate for a New York winter rather than a Godric’s Hollow one. He wore tight black pants that hugged his ass perfectly and a nice knit sweater that he had splurged on. He added a thin white shirt underneath, so that the white just barely poked out at the edges, and added a thin silver necklace that Katie had given him for his last birthday. He still had to wear boots though to keep the rain out, his nicest shoes pushed to the very back corner of his closet where they probably would never see the light of day. 

He drove to school listening to music as loudly as he could, singing along poorly. He forgot how nice it was to have a car to himself to drive around. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done something similar since moving to New York, he had such little space that was just his. Not to mention that every single apartment he lived in was cursed with thin walls, so he never wanted to make too much noise. 

Sprout’s class went well. They had finally started reading their first book, which James was lucky enough to borrow a copy from Peter, who had already read it in the week before classes started. James had never heard of it before, but his guess about the title had been correct. It was almost completely about plants, the plot and characters secondary to the author's need to exposit information about gardening. Regardless, James was enjoying it. 

Calculus was fun as well. Flitwick knew he had his work cut out for him to make the class interesting, but he did a good job of switching things up. They spent most of the class period doing problems as a class, Flitwick standing on his desk and jumping up and down when someone got it right. Rita, James noticed, seemed to find it funny in a way that looked distinctly unkind, but he tried not to dwell on it. 

By the time lunch rolled around, he was feeling comfortable and completely at ease. He left Calculus to find that snow had begun falling and was already sticking to the grounds of the school. It snowed relatively often in New York during the winter months, but New York snow was nothing like Godric’s Hollow’s snow. While in New York, snow meant black, mushy ice melting everywhere and causing travel delays for nearly everyone in the city, Godric’s Hollow snow was stark white and silent. It was peaceful in a way. 

Rita was walking next to James as they left class, completely unbothered by the cold despite her skimpy outfit. James would have been impressed had he liked Rita more as a person. 

“Hey, Frank!” James shouted, jogging slightly on the already icy pathway to catch up with the man who was hunched over against the cold. Frank turned around to look at him, his nose bright red from the cold wind cutting through their clothes. 

“What’s up?” Frank said once James was close enough to hear him. 

“I was wondering if you could help me with something,” James said as they began walking side by side. 

“Sure,” Frank said with an easy grin. 

“I had this weird experience at the library the other day,” James said, launching into an explanation of what Pince had told him. “I was hoping to find out who had all the same classes as me, but I can only think of one person who might know.”

“Who?” Frank asked, eyes wide. Somehow so enthralled with James’s tale that he missed the point. 

“Alice,” James said conspiratorially. “I don’t really know her very well. Do you think you could go ask her? I would owe you big time.”

“I don’t know,” Frank said, uncertainly. 

“Think about it,” James said, patting him on the back and walking ahead of him into the cafeteria.

He had been so distracted by the conversation that he had completely forgotten to be nervous, not to mention the fact that he-who-shall-not-be-named had missed school for the last week, but when he walked through the doors into the cafeteria, he stopped dead in his tracks. There he was, looking effortlessly beautiful, sharp and dark and soft in all the right places, sitting at the table he shared with his family. Regulus Black. 

“What are you staring at?” Gilderoy said suddenly, his arm coming up around James’s shoulder as the blonde led him to their table. 

“I’m not,” James mumbled, but it was clear Gilderoy wasn’t even listening, so it hardly mattered. 

James barely paid attention as he sat down, abandoning the food he had brought for lunch in his bag. He didn’t feel so hungry all of a sudden. He tried his best to keep his eyes away from Regulus and the others, but it was nearly impossible. They pulled his attention like a star’s gravity pulling in a planet. James was in the middle of glancing at the man once again when Regulus suddenly looked up and met eye contact with him. 

James looked away so quickly that he felt vaguely dizzy. He couldn’t tell from that short moment whether or not Regulus looked angry. He wondered if he should look up to check again, but it felt like a dangerous thing to do. What if he was still looking over? What if that look of rage was still on his beautiful face? James didn’t think he could take it. 

It took him several beats before he finally decided to check, he just couldn’t let it go, he had to know. He decided then that if Regulus looked angry, then he would skip class. Who knows, maybe he would drop out altogether. No, James thought. That was ridiculous, he didn’t need to run from someone who hated him for no reason. 

When he looked up, Regulus wasn’t watching him at all. Instead, he was talking to Lily, a slight smile on his face. He looked at ease. Lily was laughing wildly as she spoke, her red hair moving like water as she shifted back and forth to explain some part of her story. Pandora was watching Lily as well, a tender look in her eyes. James didn’t even realize he was staring again until Regulus suddenly looked over at him. James looked away so quickly that his neck popped. 

“Regulus Black is staring at you,” Rita said, snickering while she spoke. 

“Does he look angry?” James whispered, working as hard as he could to avoid looking back at the boy. 

“No, why? Should he be angry?” Rita said, a deep curiosity in her voice, her eyes zeroing in on James’s face. 

“I don’t know,” James whispered back with a shrug as did his best to feign indifference. Rita continued to watch him, looking unconvinced by his attempted dismissal. 

“So, what do you think?” Gilderoy asked, interrupting them and throwing an arm around James’s shoulders again. He was a very tactile person, James noted, and though James was typically the same way with his friends, he was quickly growing tired of the way Gilderoy always reached out to touch him. 

“What do I think about what?” James asked, his mind still foggy with thoughts of Regulus Black.

“The Black Lake,” Gilderoy supplied unhelpfully, a wide grin in his voice. 

“Er,” James said, uncertainly, trying to catch up with the conversation he had clearly missed. 

“We’re planning a trip out there,” Peter added with a small smile. James gave him a grateful look. “Probably in two weeks. You should come.” 

“Oh, okay,” James said. “Who else is going?” He looked around the table as he spoke. 

“Well, I’m going, of course,” Gilderoy said, leaning even harder into James’s side. His cologne was growing more intense by the minute and James had to work not to sneeze as it filled his nose. 

“I am as well,” Peter added. “Plus Frank, Rita, and a few others I think.” 

“Yeah, that sounds great,” James said. Though he wasn't too keen on spending the day with Rita or Gilderoy, he liked Peter and Frank well enough. “What lake is it?”

“It's not actually a lake,” Frank said. “It’s a cove on the coast, but the rocks make the beach and the water look black. It’s on the Daturachin reservation.” 

“Oh, excellent,” James said. “Will we be surfing?” he joked. 

Peter chuckled. “You’re welcome to try, but the cold water will probably freeze your balls off.” 

“Then definitely not,” Gilderoy interrupted. “I wouldn’t want anything to happen to your balls, James.” He waggled his eyebrows flirtatiously. James tried to laugh, but he was pretty sure his cringe ruined it. Gilderoy didn’t appear to notice it. 

“Frank, you should invite Alice to come with us,” James said.

“That’s a great idea,” Peter said, elbowing Frank as he spoke. Frank blushed awkwardly. 

“We’ll see,” Frank mumbled. James wondered if he would actually go talk to her about the schedule question he had. He hoped that giving Frank a task would direct his nervous energy somewhere. 

By the time James remembered to look up at Regulus again, he was gone along with the rest of his family, the table left empty, all the chairs neatly pushed in like they had never been there. The snow was still falling heavily when they left the cafeteria. One of the students James didn't know threw a snowball at Frank the moment they walked through the doors. 

“Oof,” James said as the snowball missed Frank completely and slammed into James’s stomach. Rita screeched and made a run for the next building. James wondered how she managed to run so expertly on her tall heels as they clacked along the snow-covered sidewalk. 

“Don’t worry, James,” Gilderoy said, puffing out his chest comically. “I’ll protect you.” He stood in front of James, but the moment another snowball went flying he spun around and hid behind James’s taller frame, cowering behind him. 

His heart pounded in his chest as he approached the classroom, but when he entered the room, the seat next to his was empty. James breathed a sigh of relief, even as disappointment pooled in his stomach at Regulus’s absence. He wondered if Regulus had dropped the course. The thought made me feel guilty for a reason he couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

He was just beginning another spiral into self-doubt when Slughorn entered and started class. Just as the first word left Slughorn’s mouth, the empty chair next to James was pulled out and someone sat down. James could practically feel that it was Regulus before he even bothered to look over. It was like an electric current was suddenly running through his body the moment Regulus was next to him. 

He thought again about the rage he had witnessed last time, wondering if it would be present on his beautiful face once again. He was too afraid to check for the moment, opting instead to stare forward, pretending like he was listening to Slughorn’s stupid lecture, if it could even be called that. Slughorn wasn’t exactly the most competent professor. 

As he pretended to listen, James finally came to a conclusion. There was no reason for Regulus to dislike James. James was a kind and charismatic man who hadn’t done a single thing wrong, he thought to himself. So if Regulus disliked him, then there was only one thing to do. James was going to prove him wrong. He was going to make Regulus like him. Regulus’s rage was a monster that needed to be slain, and James was going to kill it with kindness. 

Slughorn passed out a worksheet for them to fill out with their table partner, before scurrying off to talk to a random student. It was the perfect opportunity. James turned to Regulus. 

“H—”

“Hi,” James said cheerfully, interrupting the word that was about to come out of Regulus’s mouth. “I’m James. I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself last time.” James stuck out his hand before he could second guess it. 

Regulus was staring back at him open-mouthed in surprise. He looked different than the last time James had seen him. His skin was a little less pale, though it was still extremely light, the circles under his eyes weren’t nearly as dark. He was dressed impeccably in all black, his clothing looked extremely well made and expensive, and a lavish watch adorned his thin wrist. His eyes were the most stark difference though. While before they looked pitch black, so dark that James could practically see himself reflected in them, now they looked light gray, only a smattering of gold in the very center. 

“Um, right,” Regulus said, finally recovering from his surprise. “Nice to meet you, James. I’m Regulus.” His voice was silk on bare skin, it glided across James like sunlight attracting a flower. James felt lightheaded the moment he heard it. Regulus reached out a hand, grasping James’s palm lightly. 

His skin was soft and smooth, but cold in an almost unnatural way. James had to consciously suppress a shiver as he pulled his hand back. 

“Apologies,” Regulus said. “It’s from the snow.” He gestured to the window, where the snowfall was finally beginning to slow. 

“Right,” James said. “I’m surprised you’re here, I thought you might have dropped out.” The words left his mouth before he could stop them, and he immediately tucked his lips in between his teeth. He wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole. 

Regulus smirked a little. “No, I didn’t drop out,” Regulus said, his silky voice lightly joking. “I had some business out of town.” His accent was interesting, though he sounded American, there was a slight cadence to his voice like he had been raised speaking a different language. 

“Should we get started on this?” James said, after realizing that he was once again staring at Regulus in complete silence. He gestured to the piece of paper Slughorn had given them that they had yet to look at. 

“Of course,” Regulus said, a smile clear in his voice. The worksheet was obviously something that Slughorn had found online and printed off for them to use, especially given the fact that the answers to each question were written at the bottom of the document where Slughorn had forgotten to remove them. 

“Not much of an exercise,” James said with an awkward laugh. There was a beat of tense silence as Regulus took in the paper’s contents. 

“Do you like the snow?” Regulus asked, pushing the paper away slightly as he disregarded it. 

“You’re asking me about the weather?” James asked, uncertainly. 

“Yeah,” Regulus said, looking a little wrong-footed for a second. “I guess I am.” 

“Well,” James said, looking out the window again at the white snow. “It’s much nicer than it is in New York. Cleaner. I’m not looking forward to driving in it though,” James admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I might be a danger to myself and others.” 

He turned back around to see Regulus watching him closely, though his face gave nothing away. 

“How are you liking Godric’s Hollow?” Regulus asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. 

James shrugged. He had been asked that question so many times the week before that now it felt odd to be answering it again. “It’s fine,” James said. “Nice to be with my dad.” James gave what had become his standard answer. Regulus looked unsatisfied, though the look was only there for a split second. 

“Is that why you moved here?” Regulus asked. “Because of your father?” 

“Uh, yeah,” James said, looking down at the sheet of paper again. He was immediately distracted by Regulus’s long, thin fingers. They were so delicate looking, while also undeniably masculine. He wore several large silver rings on his fingers, one of them with a green stone wedged into the metal. 

“He asked you to move here?” Regulus prompted when James forgot to continue his answer. James looked up into his grey eyes again, feeling caught, captivated and hunted all at once. 

“No,” James answered. “But I knew he needed someone here to look after him. It hasn’t been easy since my mom died.” James swallowed harshly. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Regulus said, his voice taking on an oddly formal air. 

“Thanks,” James replied automatically. “Did you get contacts or something?” James blurted out. Why did he say that?

Regulus’s perfect eyebrows furrowed slightly. “No,” he answered simply. 

“Oh,” James mumbled. “Right, I just thought there was something different — it’s not important.” 

“Okay,” Regulus said softly, though he sounded oddly amused. 

“How do you like Godric’s?” James asked, not wanting the conversation to end. Regulus tilted his head in question. “Rita mentioned you moved down here only a few years ago.” 

“Ah, Rita,” Regulus said. “Yes, it’s fine. A bit boring, but my family is happy here.” They went back to silence, James desperately searching for another topic to bring up, though Regulus was pointedly looking away now. 

Slughorn started class back up just a few seconds later, seemingly unaware of the issue with his worksheets. James snickered once Slughorn realized, an embarrassed look on his face. They didn’t get another chance to speak until class ended. Regulus was already packing up, though much slower than the last time when he had sprinted out of the classroom.

“What other classes —” James started to say, though the moment Regulus turned his eyes back on James, he fell silent. He couldn't understand why, he had always been talkative, but when Regulus looked at him, it was like he was caught in a swirl of hypnosis. 

“Shall I walk you to your next class?” Gilderoy’s voice interrupted them, his hand coming to rest on the junction of James’s neck and shoulder. He grinned widely at James, but there was an uncertainty to it. He was pointedly ignoring Regulus. James looked back at Regulus without meaning to, but Regulus was looking at Gilderoy. 

“Sure,” James agreed, mostly because he had to walk to class regardless, and he needed to get away from Regulus and his overwhelming presence. “See you, Regulus.” 

Regulus finally made eye contact with James again, and James felt his breath catch, stupid considering how much they had already been looking at one another. Regulus’s face was stony for a moment before he gave James a polite smile. 

“James,” he said, speaking James’s name like it was a farewell all on its own. James gave him one more long look before following Gilderoy out the door. Gilderoy maintained some nonstop chatter on the way to James’s next class, but James wasn’t listening.

History went by quickly. Lily wasn’t in class for some reason, but James could barely even think about her, his thoughts consumed with grey-gold eyes and long, delicate fingers adorned with large, silver rings. He was making his way to the parking lot when Frank stopped him. His face was bright red as if from embarrassment, but he was grinning wildly, his eyes bright and alert. 

“She said yes!” Frank yelled, before shushing himself and looking around like someone might be spying on them. 

“What?” James asked, his thoughts still a bit sluggish. 

“Alice. She agreed to come to the Black Lake with us,” Frank said, all his teeth showing as he smiled. 

“That’s great, man,” James said, giving him a slap on the back — a bit too hard if Frank’s stumble was any indicator. Frank’s smile didn't falter for a second though. “I knew you could do it.”

“Yes,” Frank said. “Oh, and I asked her about your classes.” 

“Yeah?” James prompted. 

Frank shook his head before speaking. “She said there isn’t anyone who shares your schedule, even with the same teachers but at different times. She has no idea who could be after the same books that you need.” 

“Hm,” James hummed. “That’s odd.” 

“For sure,” Frank agreed. James could tell that he was doing his best to look sympathetic, but the bright smile kept breaking through. 

“Well, thanks for asking,” James said. “I appreciated it. See you later.” He walked out to the parking lot and jumped into the cab of his truck. Who could be checking out the exact set of books he needed? And why? It felt oddly pointed, but James couldn’t figure out why. 

He was driving out of the parking lot when h noticed Regulus standing next to the driver’s side door of his Audi, the car nearly identical to the one James had seen at the vet’s office. He was so busy watching Regulus, who was staring back unabashedly, that he nearly rear-ended the minivan in front of him. He luckily stopped just in time, but he could see out of the corner of his eye, Barty walking to Regulus’s car laughing loudly. 

Chapter Text

He woke up early the next morning thinking about Regulus. 

“This is going to be a problem,” James muttered aloud to himself. He could already feel himself getting obsessed and he had no idea how to stop it. 

His father wasn’t up by the time he went downstairs, so James took his time cooking breakfast, making a slightly extravagant spread of fruit, bacon, toast, and eggs. He felt indulgent for some reason and decided to chase the feeling. His father entered the kitchen silently a little while later and made a plate for himself before heading outside to eat. James wondered idly if he should try and get his father to go to group therapy or something. He didn’t think his father had talked to anyone about his mother’s death. At least he was eating, James thought. 

Given that he didn’t have work or school that day, he decided to drive to a nearby town to try and purchase his books for class. He had looked at them online, and they were far more expensive to have shipped than he was willing to pay. “Nearby town,” it turned out, was a bit of a misnomer given that when he pulled it up on his GPS, it said it would take over an hour to get there. James sighed loudly and resolved himself to the long drive. He would spend a fortune on gas, he doubted his truck had good gas mileage.  

It wasn’t snowing outside thankfully, he had worried when he woke to near silence that it would be another snowy day, but it was mostly clear, only a slight drizzle coming down. He climbed into his truck, still shivering, and desperately wished he had one of those remote-start cars. He went to start his truck, hoping to turn the heater on to full blast, but it wouldn’t start. He turned the key a few times over, but it only made the truck click slightly before going silent without actually turning on. 

He wondered if the battery was already dead. He could ask his father for a jump but somehow doubted that the man owned jumper cables. He felt bad calling Remus, but he also knew if he was going to get it fixed that it was better to go ahead and do it, rather than wait around. If he didn’t call and just took his father's truck, then he would end up using it all week until he had time to meet Remus. 

James sighed as he picked up his phone and dialed Remus’s number. 

“Uh huh?” Remus mumbled groggily after the third ring. James looked at the clock in the truck, it was only a bit after eight in the morning. 

“Sorry,” James said, realizing he sounded far too chipper. “Did I wake you?” He tried to temper his voice given the time of morning. 

“Yeah,” Remus replied, sounding ruffled and a little grumpy. “What’s up? Did you need something?” He sounded anxious to hang up the call. James didn’t blame him. 

“Yeah, sorry. It’s the truck,” James said, thoroughly regretting calling the man. 

“What’s wrong with the truck?” Remus asked, sounding much more awake than he did a second before. 

“It’s not starting,” James explained. “It sounds like the battery is dead or something — ”

“That’s impossible,” Remus said quickly. “I bought a new battery for it before bringing it over to your house. 

“Oh,” James said, stumped. 

“I’ll head over and look at it,” Remus said, though his voice was already growing a little slow again. 

“Yeah, how about later this afternoon?” James said, trying to give him some respite. 

“Perfect,” Remus muttered and hung up the call, not even bothering to say goodbye. Remus was not a morning person, James thought to himself. It was important to remember those sorts of things if you wanted to maintain a friendship with someone. 

He went back into the house and settled at the kitchen table. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself now that his plans for the day had been thoroughly ruined. He only managed to sit still for about ten minutes before he was up and moving again. He could already feel the thoughts of Regulus Black creeping into his head, and he needed to do something to fend them off. 

He decided to go to the grocery store. He poked his head out of the backdoor to ask his father if he needed anything, but his father just waved him off, telling him that they had more than enough food. It wasn’t true, of course. James thought his father had just forgotten how much food a person was supposed to consume every week, let alone two people. He took his dad’s truck to the store and spent perhaps too much time driving around before heading home to unload the groceries. 

After unloading the food and cleaning the kitchen, again, he started poking around with the disconnected dishwasher. He was in the process of tracking the pipes to figure out where he needed to reattach the water line, a task that he felt very ill-equipped to manage, when Remus arrived. 

James followed him out to the truck but ended up going back indoors when he remembered how utterly useless he was with cars. He was pretty sure not driving for seven years didn’t help his already dismal mechanic skills, and he wasn’t doing anything except hovering while Remus tried to work. 

“Hey,” Remus greeted, a small smile in his voice when he reentered the kitchen. “You didn’t… mess with the truck or anything, right?” 

“What do you mean?” James asked. He was sitting on the floor staring forlornly at the dishwasher, hoping that it would spontaneously fix itself, so he had to tilt his head way back to look at Remus’s face. 

“There was nothing wrong with it exactly,” Remus said, looking like he was enjoying a private joke. 

“Huh? I swear it wouldn’t turn on,” James said, throwing his hands up as if in surrender. Remus chuckled.

“No, I believe that part,” Remus said. “The battery wasn’t dead, it was fully disconnected.” 

“What do you mean?” James repeated, jumping to his feet. His neck was growing sore looking up at the man. Remus stepped back slightly so he could lean against the counter. 

“It looked like someone had disconnected everything to take it out, but then had just left the battery in there,” Remus explained and, based most likely on what he saw on James’s face, his smile dropped slightly. “You didn’t do that?” 

“I’m not even sure I would know how to do that,” James said, falling heavily into a kitchen chair. 

Remus hummed curiously, gazing out the window at the truck in confusion. “Well someone did,” Remus said finally. “Someone who knew about cars. Do you think someone was trying to play a prank on you or something?” 

“I have no idea who would,” James confessed. “I’m not even sure who knows where I live. Peter might, his mother knows my father, but it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing he would do. I don’t know, don’t you think someone playing a prank would have left a note?” 

“A note?” Remus asked. 

“Yeah, you know, like claiming responsibility,” James said with a shrug. James had pulled more pranks than he could count when he was a child, but he wasn’t very subtle about it, always immediately telling everyone that it was him. He wouldn’t do it without the guaranteed attention that came along with it. It wasn’t one of his finer traits. 

“I guess,” Remus said uncertainly. “Well, regardless, I fixed it. Want me to show you how in case they try it again?” 

“Suppose you should,” James said, following Remus out into the sprinkling rain. It was luckily an easy fix, he didn’t think he would be able to manage anything even slightly more complicated. Just looking at the engine when Remus opened the hood made him break out in hives. 

He watched attentively as Remus explained how to do it, or he tried to at least, his mind kept drifting to who might have disconnected it. It was working fine when he left school the previous day, so they would have had to come by his house at some point in the middle of the night to do it. Who would do such a thing? He had no idea. It made him feel on edge though, thinking about someone sneaking around late at night just to mess with him. 

Remus and James went back into the kitchen when they were done, James offering Remus a beer which Remus accepted. 

“Where’s your dad?” Remus asked. 

“Outside,” James said, using his thumb to point at the back door. “He’s always out there these days.” Remus nodded knowingly. 

“Maybe we should work harder to get him over to my place,” Remus said. “Get him out of the house.” 

“Yeah, that would be ideal,” James agreed. “I worry about him sitting out there thinking about God knows what.” 

“What’s going on here?” Remus said, changing the subject as he gestured toward where the dishwasher had been pulled away from the wall. James rolled his eyes exasperatedly. 

“My father,” James said, his voice only a little snide, “decided that the best way to deal with a broken dishwasher was to disconnect it from the water line. I’m trying to fix it, but as you can probably tell from my lack of car knowledge…” Remus chuckled. 

“Want help?” Remus asked. “I’m not super knowledgeable about plumbing, but I could probably figure it out.”

“If you can fix it, I’ll buy you dinner,” James said. Remus shot him a smile before downing his beer and getting to work. It turned out that Remus was much better at plumbing than he originally said, as he was able to fix not only the water line disconnection, but the entire dishwasher as well in only an hour, way faster than James would have been able to. 

They went out to the diner a bit later, dragging James’s father along so that he wouldn’t be stuck without dinner. It was an odd group, but Remus was kind and easy going, keeping the conversation with Fleamont moving as they ate. James was pleasantly surprised to find that he had gone hours without thinking about Regulus. Of course, that thought ended the previous streak, but James took the win regardless. 

The next morning was silent, not just quiet, but completely silent. James felt more rested than he had since arriving in Godric’s Hollow, and he stretched luxuriously in his squeaky, bouncy, uncomfortable bed before getting up. Outside his window were bright gray clouds, it wasn’t quite the sun that James wanted, but it was better than the dark storm clouds that usually decorated the sky. 

He was immediately disappointed when he walked to the window and realized why it was so bright. The ground was covered in a thick layer of fresh snow. James groaned. While he didn’t hate the snow, he definitely hated driving in it. He wondered if they salted the roads here or if he would have to worry about black ice the entire drive to school. He decided to leave early that day, knowing it would probably take him twice as long to reach the school parking lot.  

His truck handled the snow and ice fairly well. The roads were mostly empty, so it wasn’t too difficult to navigate the roads. He arrived when the parking lot was only half full, choosing a spot near the back, so he wouldn’t have to worry as much about driving out with all the other cars. 

He hopped out of the cab and immediately slid ungracefully on the ice, only barely catching the bed walls of the truck with the tips of his fingers in time to stop himself from falling. He breathed out a sigh of relief as he regained his balance. He looked down at his tires, still slick with snow, and wondered if he should invest in some better ones or maybe get some chains for them. Though he had no idea how someone might attach those. He would have to bother Remus again, he thought with a chuckle. 

He was so distracted by his mundane thoughts that he almost didn’t hear the squealing of another car spinning out of control. He turned to see what the noise was, just in time to watch a Minivan that had taken the turn into the parking lot too fast, skid across the black ice. It seemed like it did nearly a full loop around half the parking lot. 

James watched with a disconnected feeling. He thought, somewhere in his head, that he knew the Minivan was heading toward him, but he couldn’t react. He felt like a deer caught in headlights, like he was unable to move and save himself, even if he had had the time to do so. He felt like his pupils widened as he was able to take in far more of his surroundings than he usually would. 

He noticed the driver of the Minivan, a guy in one of his classes who had sat with them at lunch on Monday. He couldn’t remember his name though, Benjamin or Brody, he thought. He wasn’t sure. Regardless, he was spinning the wheel wildly, one direction and then the other, but it was having no effect on the van, given its lack of four-wheel drive. 

He noticed a few students congregating near a line of parked cars not far from him. Most of them staring opened mouthed at the accident that was about to take place in front of them, unable to help or look away. He noticed Rita with both of her hands cupped around her mouth, her heavily lined eyes wide with terror. 

Finally, he noticed the Blacks and the Rosiers. They had just climbed out of Regulus’s car that was parked right next to the front doors on the far side of the parking lot from James. Lily looked like she was mid-scream, but James couldn’t hear her, he couldn’t hear anything anymore. Pandora was next to her looking only slightly worried, her hand gripped tightly around Lily’s. Evan almost looked bored, which James found oddly hilarious, and Barty just looked intrigued. 

Regulus, however, was watching James with a look of horror and devastation, like James's impending death had already happened, and Regulus was already preparing to mourn him. James thought it was odd that he would die watching Regulus, it felt right though. His heart was pounding and his body was frozen, but he felt inexplicably accepting of his fate. 

James looked away from Regulus, back to the Minivan. A moment later, something hit him, but not from the side he expected. He was knocked heavily to the ground, spinning slightly as he fell so that the back of his head smacked harshly against the concrete, bouncing a bit in a way that was decidedly worrying. He released a huff of air as it was knocked from his lungs. 

A second after he hit the ground, before he could even understand what hit him, the side of the van crashed into the back corner of his truck, denting it right above the tire. It took James a second to realize that the tire of the van should have crushed his legs, but the van was tilted up, the tires no longer on the pavement. Suddenly, James was being moved, being picked up and swung around so that his legs were no longer in the way, as the van finally tumbled to the ground. 

“What?” James mumbled. He tried to sit up, but hands pushed him down. He looked up to see Regulus Black hunched over him, his gray eyes wide and panicked. His hands were cold and firm as they pushed against James’s chest, holding him on the ground. “How?” 

“Don’t move,” Regulus said, his silvery voice a welcome sound to James’s ears. “I think you have a concussion.”

“How did you get over here so fast?” James muttered weakly. Regulus’s eyes widened even further, before settling down into a bored gaze. 

“I was standing right next to you,” Regulus said, his voice flat. 

“No, you weren’t,” James said, his voice growing in strength. He tried to sit up again and this time Regulus let him, moving away as far as he could in the small space. James tried to take in his expression, but Regulus was giving nothing away. It didn’t help that his vision immediately spun the moment he was no longer on the ground. “Ow,” he said, grabbing the back of his head.

“That’s what I thought,” Regulus said, a slight smirk escaping the blank mask. James looked away to take in their surroundings. The van was pinned against the truck, exactly where James was standing a moment earlier. The van had an additional dent in it next to James’s head. It took a moment for the memories to resurface, but James saw the sudden image of pale hands shooting forward and stopping the van with pure force. 

“How did you do that?” James said faintly. He could feel his mouth hanging open so he snapped it closed before looking at Regulus who was looking away. Regulus didn’t get a moment to respond because it was then that the screaming started. Or perhaps didn’t start, but finally made its way past the barrier James’s mind had put up to give him a moment to process what was happening. 

“James! James!” he heard someone shouting, but James wasn’t listening, too busy watching Regulus’s avoid looking at him. 

“You weren’t next to me,” James said, doing his best to sound firm though he wasn’t sure he succeeded. “You were on the other side of the parking lot.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Regulus responded. 

“Someone call an ambulance!” Rita screamed, her voice tight with anxiety. James noticed a few students poking their heads around where the cars were connected in order to look at him and Regulus. 

“Are you hurt?” Peter shouted, crawling into the bed of the truck so that he could reach James. 

“No,” James answered quickly, wishing the other students would leave him alone so he could continue his interrogation. 

“He has a concussion,” Regulus said at the same time, speaking over James. 

“I’m fine,” James said fiercely, though he did notice he was swaying a bit. 

“Regulus? How did you get over here?” Peter asked curiously. James felt smugly vindicated. See , he thought, Peter saw you too . 

“I was right next to him,” Regulus said easily, the musical quality that had left as he lied to James returning to his voice. 

“Oh,” Peter said. “I didn’t notice you, must have been too focused on James.” 

“No,” James said, but his voice was drowned out by the sound of students shouting for help as they started trying to move the van out. It took eight of them to clear it and by then the ambulances had arrived. 

Brian, or whatever his name was, was far more torn up than James. He was awake and talking, but there was blood running down the side of his head from where his skull had smacked his side window. James was pretty sure his left arm was broken as well, but he was working hard not to look at it, already feeling queasy from the concussion. 

James was not happy about being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. He found it unreasonably embarrassing to be strapped to a gurney and thrown in the back of an ambulance. He couldn’t explain why exactly, but he found it humiliating. It was ten times worse when they put a neck brace on him. 

“I really don’t think it’s that serious,” he mumbled, but the EMT simply ignored him. Regulus was somehow able to get out of being taken to the hospital in the same manner. In fact, once they were inside the ambulance, James noticed Regulus jump into the front seat, telling the driver that he would get checked out once they were there but that he felt fine. 

James listened idly to the EMT, answering questions when he asked, but he wasn’t worried. He had had a concussion before, several in fact, though that probably wasn’t a good thing. He had never been forced into an ambulance though, most of the time his father would tell him to simply walk it off and James was left to his own devices. 

It didn’t take long for them to check him in. There was no hospital in Godric’s Hollow so they had to drive for twenty-five minutes before arriving at a tiny, brick building. It looked like it was only about a block wide and had a measly five stories. James wasn’t sure he had ever seen a hospital so small. His mother, while living in the Hollow, had received treatment at a hospital over an hour away, so James had never actually seen this one. 

The doctor was a young man named Dr. Quirrell working alongside a nurse who looked to be about a hundred years old. James didn’t catch her name. Dr. Quirrell had a stutter that James was almost sure was fake. To what end? James had no idea, but he had had friends with stutters, most of them when he was a child, and he felt confident that he could tell a fake one when he heard it. 

“Is your emergency contact still the same?” the nurse asked him, her voice raspy like she had spent the last four decades smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. 

“What’s on there?” James asked, but the moment the question was out of his mouth, he knew the answer. 

“You listed a Euphemia Potter,” she said, butchering the pronunciation of his mother’s name. She rambled out the numbers of a cell phone. The cell number is still theirs, attached to a cell phone that has been tucked away in the attic, long since dead. 

James swallowed harshly, opened his mouth to speak, then swallowed again trying to clear his throat. It was impossible to talk though, the words escaping him at the moment. It felt like a tight rope had just wrapped around his neck and squeezed. The old nurse looked up impassably when he didn’t answer, a sharp, drawn-on eyebrow lifted in question. 

“No,” James finally managed to croak. “She’s not — she’s — ”

The nurse’s stern face fell into one of sympathy and she nodded tightly. “Is there someone else you can call? You won’t be able to drive for at least a day,” she said. 

“Can I just call a cab?” James said, his voice clear enough that it almost sounded like it was back to normal. 

“Very well,” the nurse agreed. “I will call one once you have been discharged.” 

“Thank you,” James said. The nurse gave him a kind smile, it looked like it was probably a rare expression for her. He appreciated it though. 

He would need to get around to changing his emergency contact. There were so many administrative things to handle after his mother died. Somehow he didn’t realize how much time that stuff would take up, but it felt like it consumed him for months, even when he felt like he could barely breathe, could barely function. The emergency contact had just slipped through the cracks. 

There was a part of him that almost didn’t want to change it, that felt like it was holding onto a piece of her like she was still the person who would show up for him if something went wrong. But he knew this feeling wasn’t real and that his father would be devastated if something happened to him and they weren't able to get in contact. 

Dr. Quirrell came back an hour later to tell him what he already knew, that he had a concussion. There wasn’t much treatment needed, or available for that matter, and it wasn’t even bad enough that he would need to stay the night. Dr. Quirrell prescribed him some pain killer and told him to head to the front desk to be discharged. 

He had only just left the hospital room when he noticed the loud noise coming from the waiting room. There hadn’t been anyone there when he arrived and he didn’t understand who it was at first. He walked down the hall a bit before hearing shuffling from the room next to his. 

“James,” someone said. James turned to see the student who had been driving the van that nearly killed him. Brandon or whatever. 

“Hey man,” James said vaguely. He looked terrible, his head mostly wrapped in gauze, his arm already resting in a cast. He had dark bruises forming across his neck and the side of his jaw, but otherwise, his face looked largely unaffected. 

“Benjy,” the man said with a small smile. 

“Sorry?” James asked, ashamed to admit that he wasn’t paying close attention, distracted by the man’s injuries. 

“My name’s Benjy,” Benjy said. 

“Right, of course,” James said with an awkward chuckle. “Sorry.”

“Well, I nearly killed you earlier, so I think I can forgive you,” Benjy said with a laugh. James was surprised to find that Benjy was attractive, really attractive actually, with his bright white smile and soft lips. James hadn’t noticed before, too distracted by a small, angry man named Regulus. 

“How are you doing?” James asked. 

“Think I’m the one who is supposed to be asking you,” Benjy said. 

“You look a bit worse for wear,” James answered with a smirk. 

Benjy shrugged, or tried to shrug, though James noticed the grimace that crossed his face. “Listen, I’m really sorry. I hit the ice wrong and my van just spun out of control.”

“It’s all right,” James said easily. “I’m unharmed.”

“I’ll pay for the damage to your truck,” Benjy said automatically. 

“Don’t worry about it,” James said. “Feel better, all right?” He left a moment later. He felt terrible for Benjy, but he didn’t feel like hanging around, his head spinning slightly. 

He left Benjy’s room and was immediately distracted by Regulus Black standing with Barty and Pandora at the end of the hall. 

They were whispering quickly to each other, Regulus’s face pulled down into a tense expression. Pandora looked disconnected like she wasn’t even aware of what was happening, despite the way words flew out of her mouth. Barty looked downright furious, his features twisted into one of intense rage, hate, and anger. James couldn’t hear what they were saying, all of them speaking too quietly to be overheard, but that didn't stop him from straining himself trying to listen. 

He inched closer, but his movement must have alerted them to him as their eyes snapped up to him, all at the same moment. James froze instantly, staring wide-eyed at the group. 

“How are you feeling, James Potter?” Pandora said softly. 

“Pandora, for the love of —” Barty said before James could even think to respond, his voice cutting and angry. 

“Leave her alone,” Regulus said quickly. James watched them interact, their emotions a complex dance that he couldn’t even begin to unravel. 

“Can I talk to you?” James said once it was clear that none of them would speak again. He directed the question at Regulus, but he felt like it was probably obvious who he meant. Pandora gave him a small smile while Barty sneered. James smiled back at Pandora but pointedly ignored Barty. 

“Of course,” Regulus said, his voice stretched into formality. He almost sounded like he had a slight accent for a moment, but James couldn't be sure. Regulus pointed to another hallway with his head and James moved to follow him. “What?” Regulus snapped, spinning around on his heel the moment he and James were alone. 

James nearly recoiled but managed to hold his resolve in the face of Regulus’s sudden anger. “Do you have some kind of mood disorder?” James said, the words escaping him almost automatically. Regulus rolled his eyes. 

“That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?” Regulus asked flatly. 

“No,” James said instantly. “I want to know the truth.”

“What truth?” Regulus replied, sounding bored all of a sudden. 

“I know that you weren’t right next to me,” James said. 

“You have a concussion,” Regulus cut in to say. 

“I’ve had concussions before,” James said quickly, “and I know that they don’t create false memories.” 

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Regulus said, sounding frustrated. “I was standing right next to you, as I already said. How would I even have made it across the parking lot in time?” 

“That’s what I want to know,” James said. “That’s what I’m asking.” He felt like his words weren’t forming correctly into sentences. He, honestly, just wanted to lie down, but he needed answers first. 

“How many concussions did you say you’d had?” Regulus asked with a sardonic twist of his mouth. 

“I know what I saw, Regulus,” James said. James couldn’t be sure, he was losing his focus a bit during the conversation, but he could have sworn that he heard Regulus gasp when James said his name. 

“No one is going to believe you,” Regulus said. 

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone,” James said. He felt like that much should have been obvious. 

“Then why does it matter?” Regulus said. James felt like he was wearing him down, but he wasn’t completely sure. Regulus was a hard man to read.  

“I deserve the truth,” James said as sharply as he could manage. His words, however, felt like they were built with bubble letters, like he couldn’t manage to say anything that wasn’t soft. 

“You deserve it, do you?” Regulus said. “I saved your life. I don’t owe you anything. I mean, you haven’t even said thank you.” 

“Thank you,” James said automatically, but remained silent otherwise. 

Regulus chuckled meanly. “You’re really not going to let this go?” he asked snidely. James shook his head. “Then I hope you enjoy disappointment.” 

James ground his teeth together, though he did his best not to show his frustration. “Why did you even bother?” he asked. He didn't know where the question came from exactly, but he was irritated. 

Regulus’s face fell blank and his eyes became distant. “I don’t know,” he said. With that, Regulus moved around James, giving him a wide berth, and strutted back down the hall toward his family. 

James leaned against the wall as he watched him go, disappointment swirling in his stomach. He knew he wasn’t crazy or hallucinating. He walked slowly toward the front desk where the old nurse sat. There were still loud noises coming in through the swinging doors that led to the lobby, but James ignored them. 

“Here you go,” she said, handing him a packet of information. “It’s crazy. I think your entire class is out in the lobby right now.” 

James groaned loudly, and she gave him an odd look. “Sorry,” James mumbled. “Just not looking forward to facing the firing squad.” She gave him a small smile. 

“It’s a blessing and curse to have people care about you,” she said. “Now, should I call you a cab?” 

“That won’t be necessary,” someone interrupted. James looked up to see Lily standing next to him, a wide smile plastered on her face. There was tension around her eyes though. “I’ll give him a ride.”

“Very good, Ms. Black,” the nurse said with a wink. James gave Lily a questioning look, but she just smiled at him and shook her head. 

“Come on, there’s a back exit,” she said. James followed her down the hall, more than happy to avoid all the students that had followed him to the hospital. Surely someone would tell them that he was fine and had headed home already. He wasn't sure that he could deal with it that day. 

Lily’s car was a bright red Jeep that matched perfectly with her hair color. It was so far off the ground that James had to grab the door in order to climb in. He tried to do it as gracefully as possible, but it was a struggle. Lily seemed unbothered by the height, jumping in like it was the easiest thing on the planet. 

“How’s your head?” Lily asked as they left the parking lot. 

“Fine,” James said with a little laugh. “It doesn’t even hurt anymore.” That wasn’t strictly true, but he wasn’t about to whine about a small headache. Lily nodded, before turning on the radio. They drove in comfortable silence for a while, James watching out the window as the trees passed in a blur of green. 

“You know,” James said as they crossed the border into Godric’s Hollow, “I wouldn’t have survived if Regulus hadn’t knocked me out of the way.” Lily looked at him from the corner of her eyes. 

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t die,” Lily said. He felt like she was sidestepping, but he couldn’t understand why. 

“It’s crazy though,” James said, turning so that he was staring out the front windshield, trying to appear and sound as casual as possible. “I could have sworn that he was standing on the other side of the parking lot right before.” 

Lily let out a musical laugh. “That’s so odd,” she said before starting to hum along with the radio, tapping her fingers across the steering wheel. She had perfect rhythm, and James wondered if she was a drummer. He wasn’t satisfied with the conversation. 

“Did you happen to see where Regulus was?” he asked after a couple of beats of silence. “I thought that maybe you all had just parked.” 

Lily hummed thoughtfully. “I’m not sure I remember,” Lily said. “I was a bit distracted.” 

James waited for her to elaborate, but the words never came. James sighed quietly, before trying again. “Even Peter was confused to see Regulus over there,” James said. “I don’t think anyone noticed him near me before the van hit my truck.” 

“Maybe he’s a secret superhero,” Lily said with an exaggerated wink. James gave a polite laugh, but he felt like he was missing something. “Do you want me to pick up your truck?” 

“Sorry?” James asked, trying to track the topic shift. 

“Well, it’s still at the school I think,” Lily said. “Would you like me to go get it for you?” 

“Oh,” James said, only then noticing that they were parked in his driveway. “No, that’s all right. I’ll go get it tomorrow.” 

“Hm, okay, if you say so,” Lily said. She leaned across him, her smell filling his nose and distracting him instantly, and opened his door. “Well, get plenty of rest. I’ll see you Friday.” It was a dismissal and James wasn’t about to overstay his welcome. 

“Sure, thanks for the ride,” he said, climbing carefully out of the car and doing his best not to slip on the slick road beneath his feet. 

It wasn’t until he was inside that he realized he had never told Lily where he lived. 

———————

Lily brushed her fingers through her hair anxiously as she drove back home. She wondered if it would be worth the risk to just pick up James’s truck and drop it off at his home that night. He would probably be too suspicious and with the things James was saying in the car ride, she didn’t think it would be smart to risk it. Still, she felt bad for him. 

She pulled up at their house just a few moments later having sped the entire way. Everyone was already back and she could faintly hear their conversations inside. She took a deep breath, it wasn’t necessary, but the action still brought her comfort, before jumping out of the car and heading inside. 

“Did he say anything?” Evan accosted her the moment she shut the door behind her. His blonde hair was in disarray, a strange look for someone who was always perfectly put together. She guessed he had been pulling at it anxiously. 

“No, he didn’t,” Lily said. It wasn’t true exactly, and Regulus would know the moment he looked, but it wasn’t a lie either. 

“Maybe he doesn’t know anything,” Sirius said. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He was still wearing his scrubs, having left the office the moment Evan called him. 

“There is no way,” Barty said, but Regulus cut in. 

“He knows there’s something… wrong with me.” Regulus’s back was a minefield of tension. He was standing by the window, gazing out at the forest, his hands clasped tightly behind his back. It had been a long time since Lily had seen him stand like that. 

“You are such an idiot,” Evan spat. “How could you be so selfish?” Regulus didn’t turn to look at him, but his back grew even stiffer, if that was even physically possible. 

“Evan,” Sirius said warningly, his eyebrows raising unhappily. 

“Don’t Evan me,” Evan snarled. Barty watched him with bright eyes. Lily tried not to look too closely at those eyes, she was sure she would find some disgusting lustfulness that she was not interested in witnessing if she looked too long. “I’m not the one who decided to stop a moving van with my bare hands in front of a whole crowd of humans.” 

“It was a little reckless, but he was trying to save James’s life,” Sirius said evenly. Lily nearly burst out laughing. Sirius calling anyone else’s actions reckless meant that they were probably batshit insane. Still, she remained silent. She didn’t think her laughter would ease the tension in the room. 

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said, finally turning. “I never meant to put any of you in danger. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“What are you going to do about this?” Evan demanded. “How are you going to fix it?” 

“I’ll leave,” Regulus said immediately, though Lily could see the unhappy twitch of his lips. Her heart ached for him. 

“Again?” Lily said. She didn’t mean the words in an unkind way, but Regulus flinched regardless. 

“No,” Sirius said, standing up fully. “No, Regulus.”

“It would only be for a few years,” Regulus argued, but Sirius was watching him like he thought if Regulus walked out the door that they would never see each other again. 

“You can’t go anywhere,” Barty said. “That will be far too suspicious.” Evan glared at him fiercely, but Barty just shrugged. “I’m sorry, but you know I’m right. Either we all leave or we all stay.”

“Barty is right,” Lily said. Barty raised his eyebrows at her, but she just rolled her eyes at him, a slight smile on her face. She and Barty didn’t always see eye to eye, but that didn’t mean she was incapable of agreeing with him. “James would be more likely to talk if you left now.” 

“Do you have any input?” Sirius said gently, directing the question to Pandora. She had been sitting on the couch staring at the coffee table in front of her, but she looked up at Sirius when he spoke. 

“Oh, so you care about my opinion now?” Pandora said, her soft voice growing sharp. 

“I have never doubted your opinion,” Sirius said grimly, but Lily caught the way his eyes shifted to Regulus for a split second. 

“We can’t allow a human the chance to say something,” Evan cut in. “Sirius, you must know that. Even if we all left tonight, it’s not safe to leave someone behind that suspects.” 

“There have been rumors before,” Regulus said. “More than once.” 

“Yes, rumors!” Evan shouted. “Not eyewitness evidence!” 

“James’s eyewitness account is hardly evidence,” Lily said. “What is he going to do? Go to the police? Become a full-time conspiracy theorist? I don’t think he would tell anyone, but even if he did, who would believe him?” Regulus nodded once in agreement. 

“It doesn’t have to be some big production,” Barty said with a tired sigh. “I mean, he already injured himself today, right? Humans die all the time, maybe he just doesn’t wake up tomorrow morning.” 

Regulus let out a noise that was so far from human that they would have been outed in a second had anyone heard it. Lily wasn’t sure she had ever heard a noise like it, a feral mix between a hiss and a growl. It made her want to sprint to safety, and it wasn't even directed at her. Barty threw his hands up placatingly, but he seemed otherwise unfazed by Regulus’s rage. 

“Regulus should be the one to fix this, but clearly it’s beyond him. I’m more than capable of handling it,” Evan said, staring Regulus down. 

“Enough,” Sirius shouted before things could escalate into a full fight. “No one is killing James.” He was holding his hands out to either side, palms facing Barty and Evan on one end and Regulus on the other. Pandora was watching them with only vague interest. Lily wanted to grab her by the hand and leave, but Regulus needed backup. She wasn’t going to let them kill James either. 

“It wouldn’t even cause him pain, he wouldn’t know what was happening,” Evan said. 

“That is not the problem and you know it,” Sirius said stiffly. 

“Do I?” Evan said. 

“It’s not like we are killing him to drink his blood,” Barty said at the same time. “You said we weren’t allowed to kill to feed.”

“No, I said you weren’t allowed to kill at all . If anything, killing James in cold blood just because he might have seen Regulus do something he shouldn’t be able to do is far worse than killing him for food,” Sirius said, his voice growing tense. “Please tell me that you know that.”

Barty shrugged and looked away. Evan still seemed unsatisfied. 

“We are not discussing murder,” Sirius said, dropping his hands. “We are deciding whether or not we should leave.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Pandora said. “I like living here. I miss it when we’re gone.”

“You’re just saying that because you think we have to stay here for your little plan to work,” Regulus said. 

“Hey,” Lily snapped. “Don’t have a go at Pandora, she’s on your side.” 

Regulus’s face twisted for a second. “Sorry,” he said softly. “If you would just tell me what you saw —”

“I can’t this time,” Pandora said regretfully. “I’m sorry, Reggie.” Regulus’s shoulders dropped in defeat. “Besides, I don’t think you can leave again.”

“What does that mean?” Sirius asked. 

“Regulus knows,” Pandora said, giving Regulus a meaningful look. Regulus looked away, and Lily was sure that if he was human, he would have been blushing. 

Chapter Text

Regulus was walking away from him. Again. Why did it always feel like Regulus was walking away from him? He was wearing a black sweater, but it hung loose around his shoulders so that James had a perfect view of Regulus’s long neck. His skin was so pale that it almost shimmered in the school lights. His black curls fell just perfectly, as if he was a model who had a professional do their hair every single morning. James sighed helplessly, his eyes glued to Regulus’s back. He wished he would turn and look at him. Even if it was anger on his face, it was better than being dismissed. 

“Regulus,” he called, but Regulus didn’t turn. “Regulus,” he said again. This time his voice was crystal clear and loud enough to wake him. 

Of course, he was dreaming about Regulus. That wasn’t a surprise. But did he have to dream about Regulus ignoring him? That was just depressing. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. His room was still dark, it was too early for the sun to have risen fully. The rain outside fell steadily against his window, a little too loudly to be relaxing. He wondered if he should invest in some nice earplugs. 

He lay in bed for a long time that morning. His head didn’t hurt anymore, which was a small victory, but he didn’t feel like starting his day yet. The night before had been a mess when James walked inside to find his father in a full panic. 

“James! I was just trying to call you! Why haven't you been picking up?” his father said, his words overlapping in their quickness. 

“Oh, sorry, I —” He paused. He couldn’t actually remember where his phone was. He didn't even know where his bag was. He thought that someone might have pulled it off him while they were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, but now he couldn’t be sure. 

“Are you okay? Why didn’t the hospital call?” His father was clearly frantic, his hands shaking slightly. James’s head was spinning too much for this. He brushed past his father so that he could fall onto the couch, breathing out a sigh of relief when he was finally off his feet. 

“I’m fine, Dad,” he replied when his father followed him into the room. “It was just a concussion. Li — A friend drove me home,” he said. 

“Is your truck still at school?” His dad took a seat in the chair across from him, but James could tell that he was working to keep himself from crowding James on the couch. James appreciated the effort, he didn’t think he could handle that kind of contact at the moment. 

“Yeah, I’ll go get it tomorrow,” James replied. “How did you find out?”

“Claire called,” he said. 

“Who?” James asked, rubbing the back of his head gingerly. He stopped when he noticed his dad watching his hand a little too closely. 

“Peter’s mother.” 

“Oh,” James replied. That was fast, he thought. 

“You should have called me, I would have come to pick you up,” his dad said, his hands clenching over and over again on his lap. 

“I know,” James said gently. “I was out of there so quickly though and half the school followed me to the hospital so it wasn’t a big deal.”

“What happened to the other kid?” 

“He’s going to be fine,” James said. “Not sure about his van though.” An annoyed look crossed his father’s face. “It’s really okay. It was just an accident.”

“James, this is serious,” his father said, speaking just a little too loudly and causing James to wince slightly. “Sorry.”

“It's fine,” James replied. “I think I’m just going to go to bed. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” 

“Yes, fine,” his dad said quickly. “Do you have meds? Is there anything you need?” 

“Nope,” James said, hauling himself off the couch and starting to lumber up the stairs, just a beat too slowly. He could feel his dad’s eyes on his back the entire walk up, but James couldn’t be bothered to continue the conversation. He was tired and drained and he just wanted to sleep.

It wasn’t until the following morning that James really considered how his father must have felt finding out that his only remaining family member had almost been killed in a freak accident. He felt a bit bad for brushing him off. If he was honest, he hadn’t even been planning to tell his father. He knew that was a bit short-sighted since, in a small town like theirs, everyone was bound to find out, but he didn’t want his father to worry. And he especially didn’t want to have to deal with his father acting like a mother hen. It was all just a bit too smothering for him. 

When it was about eight in the morning, the home phone started to ring. James didn't even realize that they had a home phone, but it rang several times before cutting off. James was just starting to wonder if his dad answered it when it started ringing again. He groaned before climbing out of bed. His father was probably still asleep, the ringing too faint to wake him. 

The ringing had stopped by the time he made it downstairs, but it started a moment after he entered the kitchen. 

“Hello?” James said. 

“James?” Frank’s voice sounded far away. 

“Frank?” 

“Yeah, sorry, did I wake you?” Frank asked, sounding guilty. 

“No, I’ve been up for a while. Why are you calling this early?” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Frank said quickly. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to work the shop today. I didn’t know if you were planning to come in and I tried to call your cell, but it’s off.”

“Oh, yeah, I lost it yesterday,” James said. “How did you get this number?” 

“My grandma had it,” Frank said with an uncomfortable laugh. “Sorry,” he repeated. James thought he apologized too much. “But I had to make sure you knew you didn’t have to come in. With everything that happened yesterday, I didn’t want you to strain yourself.” 

“I don’t mind coming in,” James said, though he had to admit it would be nice to have a day to get his feet back under him. 

“No, no, Gran would kill me,” Frank said. “Not that I mind,” he hurried to get out. “Sorry.”

James chuckled. “No worries. Thanks for covering,” James said. There was a beat of silence and James was sure that Frank was waffling about something. “Did you need something else?”

“Er, yeah, Alice called,” Frank said before clearing his throat uncomfortably. “She wanted me to ask how you were feeling. No one knew what happened to you yesterday.”

“Oh, yeah, Lily drove me home,” James replied. “I wasn't really in the right headspace to deal with everyone.”

“Sure, sure,” Frank said easily. 

“Tell Alice that I’m doing fine,” James said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively despite the fact that Frank couldn’t see him. 

Frank giggled before abruptly cutting himself off, he coughed once and let out a much deeper laugh. “I will, thanks.” James hung up a moment later and resigned himself to starting his day. He had gone to bed so early the night before that he shouldn’t have been surprised that he was up before dawn, but he had still been hoping to lounge around a while longer. 

“Morning,” his father said as he walked into the kitchen about a half hour later. James had just finished eating the eggs he had fried up. 

“Morning,” James replied. 

“What are you up to today?” he asked. 

James gave him a look. “Not sure,” he replied slowly. “You’re asking about my day now?”

“So what if I am?” his father said, sounding a little defensive. James shrugged. 

“I just don’t think you checking in is going to stop me from getting spontaneously squashed by a van,” James said. 

“Don’t joke,” his father admonished. James rolled his eyes a bit, but let it go. 

“I’ll probably head to school to pick up my truck,” he said. 

“I can drive you.” 

“Thanks,” James replied before getting up to shower. 

His father drove him to the school about an hour later. There were still some classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays but not as many as was made clear by the half-empty parking lot. There was still a line of glass next to James’s truck from where two of the van’s windows shattered. 

“Want me to wait for you?” his father asked. 

“Nah, you go on ahead,” James said. “I’m going to take it by Remus’s shop, see if he can tell me how much it’ll be to fix the dent.” His father gave him a look like he wanted to say something, but ultimately let it go and drove off. 

James pulled the keys to his truck out of his back pocket, he was glad that he was still able to find them even after the madness the day before. He climbed into the cab to find his school bag sitting in the driver's seat. He shucked it to the side so that he could sit down fully. He opened the bag and immediately paused. All of his loose papers and notebooks looked like they had been pulled out and straightened before being neatly replaced in the bag. 

Now that he was back here, he distinctly remembered pulling the bag out of the car with him when he stepped out, which meant that somehow someone had gotten into his truck so that they could put his bag back. But he was sure that he had locked the door, he always locked it the moment it closed behind him. 

He shook his head. Maybe he was just misremembering. He dug around in his bag and located his cell phone. He thought it would be dead after the full day sitting in the truck, but it turned on right away. It was like someone had purposefully shut it down, but to what end? He felt vaguely like he was losing his mind. 

Once his phone was on, he felt like he was instantly overwhelmed by the amount of texts and missed calls that flooded in. It seemed like every person he knew in Godric’s Hollow had tried to contact him. He swiped through the messages, more than a few of them from unsaved numbers. His stomach lurched at the thought that one of those unsaved numbers could have been Regulus, but all of them identified themselves in the message. James was embarrassed by the flood of disappointment he felt. 

He was a little worried that something might be wrong with the truck given the accident, but it started up and drove without issue. He took the long way to Remus’s house, trying his best not to get there too early. It was nearly ten in the morning now, surely Remus would be up. He was in luck because he noticed Remus slowly walking to the garage just as he pulled up. 

Remus looked up, an eyebrow pulled down into a look of confusion before realization dawned on his face. 

“What happened?” Remus breathed just as James jumped out of the car. 

“It wasn’t my fault,” James said immediately. Remus chuckled. 

“Whose fault was it?” Remus asked. 

“Got any more coffee,” James asked, nodding to the full mug in Remus’s hand.

James explained to Remus what happened once they were settled in the garage, coffees in hand. Remus listened closely, a look of horror on his face as James described his near-death experience. 

“Who did you say knocked you out of the way?” 

“Just this guy in Biology class,” James answered quickly, trying to get off the subject. He wasn’t sure exactly why he didn’t want to mention it, but he still felt a little silly about his dream the night before and he didn’t want Remus to pick up on his burgeoning obsession. 

“I can’t believe this,” Remus said with a shake of his head. “You’ve been in town for what? Two weeks?” James nodded. “Clearly fate is not happy about you showing up.” 

James laughed, even as an uncomfortable feeling spread down his neck. He couldn’t explain why, but Remus’s words felt a bit too on the nose. 

“So, think you can fix it?” James asked. Remus nodded. 

“Yeah, should be pretty easy,” Remus said. “I don’t have anything time sensitive, I could do it today.”

James sighed in relief. “Great, thanks,” James said happily. It was a relaxing day after that. James hung around while Remus worked, the two chatting idly about nothing. He stayed for dinner, eating at the kitchen table with Remus and Lyall. He felt far more normal by the time he got home that night. 

Going back to school the next day was a mess. Benjy, whom James thought he wouldn’t see for weeks, was right next to him the moment he climbed out of his truck. 

“James, hey,” Benjy said, that bright white smile blinding against the overcast sky. 

“Benjy,” James said, surprised. “What are you doing at school?” 

“Oh, well, I didn’t want to miss too many classes,” Benjy replied, his smile not dimming for even a moment. The bruises across his face looked worse than they had the day before, having turned a dark blue. 

“I think you could afford to miss one day,” James said uncertainly. James felt his bag begin to slip off his shoulder and he shifted around to hike it up higher. 

“Really, I’m okay,” Benjy said. “I just wanted to apologize again.” 

“You didn’t need to do that. I know that it was an accident.” James wondered what Benjy looked like when he wasn’t smiling, it was almost unnerving to look at him after a while. 

They started walking toward the school and James’s bag slipped again.

“Here, let me help you,” Benjy said cheerfully and began to forcefully pull James’s bag off of his shoulder. 

“What? No, Benjy,” James said, trying to pull it away. 

“It’s all right, I’ll carry it,” Benjy said, still grabbing at the bag. “It’s the least I can do.” 

It took nearly ten whole minutes for James to convince Benjy to let him carry his own bag. Benjy was unusually insistent that he needed to help James out like he was a delicate flower incapable of carrying a mostly empty bag. It was made worse by the fact that Benjy would not stop apologizing. By lunch, it was starting to make James feel like he was losing his mind. 

“James,” Gilderoy purred his name, jumping up from the lunch table to pull out James’s seat for him. Rita was sitting on the other side of Gilderoy and was giving James a very thoughtful look that he did not appreciate. 

“Thanks,” James muttered, sitting down quickly. He felt a bit embarrassed by the way everyone in the cafeteria was watching him. He had never been one to shy away from attention, but there was something humiliating about being known as the guy who was almost crushed to death on his second week of school. 

“How are you feeling?” Gilderoy asked. James was really getting tired of that question. 

“Fine,” he said, quickly running through the same spiel that he had given to everyone. Yes, I’m fine. No, I’m not that injured. Yes, I got lucky, but especially because Regulus was there to knock me out of the way. He hadn’t mentioned the fact that Regulus was on the other side of the parking lot, he had told Regulus he wasn’t going to tell anyone and he meant that, but that didn't mean that he wasn’t fishing for other people’s accounts. 

“Regulus knocked you out of the way?” Gilderoy asked, his smile growing tight and his eyes narrowing as if in frustration. 

“Yep,” James said distractedly. 

“I didn’t realize Regulus was over there,” Rita said, though she sounded a bit bored. “Guess he was just forgettable.” Her voice was snide as she spoke the last word. 

“Yes, he is a forgettable guy, isn't he?” Gilderoy agreed. “Right, James?” 

“I guess,” James replied, though, of course, he didn't agree. Nothing had ever been as memorable to him as Regulus. 

“Regulus knocked you out of the way?” Peter asked. 

“Yeah,” James said, finally lifting his head to look at someone. Peter looked confused, even though he had been the first one over to James when it had all happened. He should have known that Regulus helped him. 

“I just thought —” Peter started to say, but Gilderoy interrupted. 

“It’s lucky I was there to pull the van away,” Gilderoy said loudly. “It was quite heavy, you know.” 

“Like eight people helped move the van,” Benjy grumbled. 

“Wow, you’re so strong,” Rita said at the same time, drawing Gilderoy’s attention away from Benjy. She batted her eyelashes at him, smiling brightly. 

“I know,” Gilderoy agreed, though he didn’t say the words to Rita, having already turned back to James. 

James had to work not to roll his eyes. He’d had quite enough of the Rita and Gilderoy show. He wanted to ask Peter what he was thinking, but he didn’t get the chance to before heading to class. The main through line of all his conversations though was the fact that no one seemed to have noticed where Regulus was before the accident and the answer as to why was obvious. No one paid as much attention to Regulus as James did and that fact was thoroughly humiliating. 

Regulus and his family all sat silently through lunch, not speaking to anyone, including each other, and in Biology, James was treated to the same silent treatment. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but he couldn’t help the way his chest hurt when Regulus barely acknowledged him. Not that James didn’t try at first.

“Regulus,” he greeted softly when he first sat down. Regulus was sitting at the far edge of their table, about as far away as he could in the small space. His hands were clenched tightly into fists and he was staring straight ahead, his gray eyes slightly darker than usual, like angry clouds right before a storm. He didn’t even look at James when he spoke, instead just shifting his head over slightly and giving a very small nod before glancing even further away. 

James sighed quietly to himself, trying to shake off the feelings of disappointment, frustration, and anger that were surging through him. He missed most of what was covered in class that day, though he hardly thought it mattered given how distracted Slughorn always was, but regardless his thoughts were solely focused on Regulus. 

By the time he left class, he had come to only one conclusion. Regulus clearly regretted saving his life. 

By the time he made it to his history class, he was fully expecting Lily to ignore him, but she gave him a soft smile as he entered class and even chatted with him idly while they silently read next to each other. It made something inside James relax, but that all went to hell when they left the class. James immediately spotted Evan glaring fiercely at him, his eyes like daggers, puncturing James in an instant. James froze in place, only able to move when Evan’s glare slid over to Lily. 

Lily seemed unbothered by the vitriol that she was faced with, but she did release a quiet little sigh, before walking quickly to meet Evan. Barty was leaned into Evan’s side, looking relaxed as he rested his arm around Evan’s shoulders. He watched James with a curious glint in his eye, but even though his gaze wasn’t outwardly hostile, James still felt uncomfortable under it. Evan immediately started whispering fiercely to Lily and after that, Lily didn’t speak to James again. He hated it all. 

After that day, things seemed to fall into a new routine. It was fine, if a bit lonely. Benjy was still overly friendly but luckily he stopped apologizing every second that he got. Gilderoy was beyond happy about Regulus’s new attitude, getting more brazen about openly flirting with James before, after, and even during class. He would walk in with James and sit on his desk talking to him until the bell rang. It drove James crazy, but he didn’t know how to get Gilderoy to stop without hurting the man’s feelings. 

James went back to work the Saturday after the accident. It felt comfortably normal to be in the shop and he even found himself looking forward to it after a few days. He went back to the library about a week after the accident, but the librarian was just as unhelpful. 

“Can I help you?” she said stiffly when he walked in. She had sent him a nasty glare when she noticed him dripping water on the floor, but he just smiled apologetically. 

“Yes, I’m checking to see if the textbooks I need have been returned yet,” James said, trying to keep his voice friendly in the face of her disapproval. 

“Which books are those?” she replied. 

“The ones checked out by the visitor who doesn’t have a time limit on their borrowed materials,” James said. She stared at him questioningly. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know which books you are referring to,” she said simply. James sighed frustratedly. 

“Right, of course,” he said, pulling out the list of textbooks that he kept in his bag. She looked through the list painstakingly slowly, typing each title into her ancient computer one click at a time, before shaking her head and checking the next one. James thought he might sink into the ground he was waiting there so long. 

“No, these have not been returned yet,” she said finally. 

“Great, thanks,” James said, feeling slightly bad about how rude he sounded as he stomped out of the library. Clearly, she was covering for someone. He went back a few times after that, hoping to wear her down, but after the third visit, he knew she would win in their battle of wills. 

He knew he needed to just give in and make the drive to the town nearby to buy them, but he was feeling weirdly stubborn about it. Not to mention that each time he thought about it, he was again reminded of the time someone disconnected his battery without him noticing. He didn’t know why, but it gave him goosebumps every time he thought about it. There was also the fact that snow was a near constant in the weeks after the accident and he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was a bit skittish about driving in the icy weather. One near-death experience was more than enough for him, thank you very much. 

Instead, he spent most of his free time with Remus. Every time things started to feel a little off or weird in his own life, he only had to head over to Remus’s house or invite Remus to his own for things to settle again. Spending time with Remus was like spending time in nature, it grounded him.  

His father was nearly unbearable after the accident. Even though James had moved to Godric’s Hollow with the express purpose of taking care of his father, he had not been prepared to have his dad breathing down his neck at all hours of the day. Every single morning, his father would offer to drive James to school, and when James said no, he would look out the window like he was planning to follow him there regardless like his mere presence could keep him safe from danger. 

After the first week, James decided that his dad needed more friends than just Lyall Lupin. Claire, Peter’s mother, could almost be considered a friend, except for the fact that James didn’t approve of her. She was quite the gossip and he could already tell that she would eventually start driving his father insane with her mindless chatter. All of this culminated in them going to the diner almost every other day. It was like James was taking his father on playdates, trying to help him make a friend. 

“Hey Rosmerta,” James greeted with a wide smile. Rosmerta was a good constant in their lives. She was always friendly and the way she would lightly flirt with everyone who came in the diner, always made him and his father feel welcome. 

“James,” she said in greeting. “Monty,” she added with a wink. They sat at one of the tables in the back of the restaurant. It was easier for James to get a good look at everyone there that way. James kept an eye on the door as they slowly ate their dinner and noted when Hagrid came bustling in from the cold. 

“Hagrid!” James shouted. “Come join us,” he said, waving Hagrid over. His father watched him with idle curiosity. It was clear that he wanted to ask why James was inviting Hagrid over, but he didn't have the time, because, despite his size, Hagrid moved quickly. 

“Hello, fellas,” he said cheerfully, sitting heavily into a seat at their table. He seemed unsurprised to have been invited to join them, despite the fact that they had only been peripherally introduced by Flitwick. 

“How’ve you been?” his father asked politely. 

That was all it took for Hagrid to dive into a long explanation of his most recent pet. He described, in detail, a dog that he found wandering the forest behind his house. He even pulled out his phone at one point to show them no less than twenty-five photos of the “dog” he had adopted. James was almost completely sure that the dog Hagrid was talking about was actually a small wolf, but he felt bad saying that.

“Oh,” his father said faintly when he looked at the photos. “Wow, and you’ve taken him to see the vet?” 

“Err,” Hagrid said uncertainly, looking a little chagrin. “Not quite yet, been busy as of late.” 

“Right,” his father said with a small chuckle.

“Sirius will fix right up though,” Hagrid said, his earlier cheerfulness returning quickly. 

“Sirius?” James asked, immediately snapping his mouth shut after he spoke. 

“That’s the vet’s name,” his father said. 

“Sirius Black,” Hagrid supplied. “He moved here a few years ago. Smart enough to work anywhere in the country that one, but he said it’s better for his family to live here.”

“We’re lucky to have him,” his father said. 

Sirius Black. He had to be related to Regulus. Not that James didn’t already know that. He could see how similar they looked, even from far away. But to hear it confirmed was another thing altogether. 

After that night, Hagrid met them at the diner once a week and, just as James had planned, started seeking his dad out so they could talk. His father seemed a little taken aback by it at first, but he was far too polite to say anything. If it kept him from bothering James too much though, then it was worth the trouble. 

With all the snow and cold weather, the trip to the Black Lake had been pushed to the back burner. James had been looking forward to it, if just to have a distraction, but no one brought it up until March. It had been a few weeks since the accident and James was no less consumed with thoughts of Regulus than he had been the first week of school. He had gotten better at not bringing him up in conversation at least. 

One March morning, just as James was leaving Sprout’s class, Peter came up beside him, looking around shiftily. 

“What’s up?” James prompted when Peter didn’t immediately speak. 

“You’ll never guess what I heard this morning,” Peter whispered finally.

“Oh?” James asked. 

“Rita asked Gilderoy out,” Peter said. James raised an eyebrow at him. That was the hot gossip James had been expecting. 

“Okay,” James said uncertainly. 

“And Gilderoy flat out said no,” Peter said, snickering. “Said he was waiting for something better to come along.” James’s mouth hung open in surprise. 

“He said that?” James asked, a little louder than he probably should have. 

“Shh!” Peter hissed. “Yes, he did! Are you really surprised? He’s such an ass.”

“That’s definitely true,” James agreed with a shake of his head. He didn’t particularly like Rita himself, but he would never approve of someone saying something so cruel. 

Rita didn’t speak to him in Flitwick’s class, but James didn’t mind. She didn’t look upset, though she kept pursing her lips harshly every couple of minutes as if she was fighting off her feelings. James felt a pang of sympathy for her. He was surprised when she followed him to their usual table at lunch, taking her normal seat next to Gilderoy, who completely ignored her, greeting James with a bright grin. James nodded at him politely, before turning his back on him. 

“How are things with Alice?” James asked Frank when he noticed him sit down for lunch. 

“Fine,” Frank said, a light dusting of pink spreading across his cheeks. 

“Just fine?” James asked, leaning across the table so he could elbow him. Frank shrugged. 

“Not much to update you on actually,” Frank said. “I haven’t really talked to her much.”

“Why not?” Frank shrugged again, but James just waited for an answer. 

“I’m not sure what to talk about,” Frank said, sounding helpless. “She’s so — and I’m so —”

“Just talk to her, like you would talk to me or Pete,” James said, doing his best not to sound too exasperated. 

“I don’t want to help her,” Frank replied. James sighed quietly. 

“Is she still coming to the Black Lake?” James asked. 

“I think so,” Frank said. 

“Well, great,” James said. “That’s good then. We just have to make the plan and then you guys can talk.” 

“Some people need lots of help with these sorts of things,” Gilderoy whispered in James’s ear. James startled a bit at the noise, the feel of Gilderoy’s breath on his skin making him want to stand up and spring out of the cafeteria. 

“Right,” James said, scooting away from Gilderoy. 

James had been thinking that Rita asking Gilderoy out was just a random occurrence, but apparently, March was mating season for the people who lived in Godric’s Hollow because he was stopped on his way to Biology by a random woman who was in his history class. 

He couldn’t remember her name, honestly, he wasn’t sure that they had ever spoken, though it was hard to notice anyone else was in the room with Lily Black. It took her a bit of rambling to finally get to her question, asking him if he wanted to go to the movies with her. It had been a while since he was asked out. Most of the people he dated in New York he met at parties, usually leading to one-night stands, followed by casually dating and hooking up for a few months after. He wasn’t even sure that he’d ever been asked out on a proper date before. 

He felt a bit bad for her, but he wasn't interested. He tried to let her down easy, giving her shoulder a firm squeeze before escaping to the safety of the Biology classroom. Of course, he should have noticed Gilderoy waiting for him, already leaning on his desk. Regulus was sitting next to his empty chair, already looking down at his open textbook, his hand moving nimbly as he copied down something into his notebook. 

“What was that about?” Gilderoy said, his voice a tad less cheerful than it usually was. 

“Oh, nothing,” James said, not wanting to cause the girl any more embarrassment. It was hard enough building up the courage to ask someone out, let alone get rejected. 

“It sounded like she was asking out,” Gilderoy said loudly.

James coughed, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. He thought he noticed Regulus’s pen pause for a moment before he continued writing. 

“Don’t worry about it,” James said with an awkward chuckle. 

“You don’t have to play coy,” Gilderoy said with a wink. James was saved from responding when Slughorn came in and promptly started class. He spent the first twenty minutes lecturing before sending them off to do another quiz with their lab partner. It had become the standard practice for the class and James had become used to completing the quiz on his own given Regulus’s silence. Today was different though. 

“James,” Regulus’s voice cut into James’s thoughts. James looked up to see Regulus already watching him, his gray eyes bright and sharp with interest. 

“Are you talking to me now?” James said. He thought he meant the words to be snide and perhaps a bit petulant, but they came out sounding faint and helpless. Regulus’s lips twitched. 

“No,” he said. “Not really.”

James closed his eyes for a second if only to get away from those overcast sky eyes, clenching his teeth. “Then what do you want?” James asked. He hoped Regulus couldn’t pick up in the open yearning in his words. 

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said after a beat. “I’m being very rude. It’s better this way though.” 

James’s eyes snapped open. Regulus’s face was solemn and serious. James’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“I don’t know what you mean by that,” James said. 

“I know,” Regulus said quietly. “Trust me. It’s better if we’re not friends.” He couldn't be sure, but sounded like Regulus’s voice twinged on the word ‘friends’ but James couldn’t figure out why. Regardless, the words stung. He had heard that statement before. It wasn’t the first time he’d had someone push him out of their life. 

“Maybe you should have figured that earlier,” James muttered, the snideness finally present. Regulus tilted his head in question. “Then you could save yourself all this regret.”

“Regret?” Regulus said, looking caught off guard. 

“For not letting that van kill me,” James said. He could feel an embarrassed flush crawling across his face and he turned immediately so that he could focus on his quiz. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Regulus was watching him with a face of disbelief. 

“You think I regret saving you?” Regulus said. James was surprised to find that he sounded mad. 

“Don’t you?” James snapped. Regulus’s teeth clenched, the skin stretching around his jaw in a way that was disturbingly distracting for James. He quickly looked away. It was too hard to look at Regulus and talk to him at the same time. 

“You don't know anything,” Regulus all but hissed. They didn’t speak again and when class ended, Regulus was up and out of his chair before James could even look up. Not that he was going to watch him leave the classroom, he was actually working very hard not to do that. 

James kept his head down all through History. He felt embarrassed for how he had spoken to Regulus and he wasn’t quite sure how to process it all. He jumped in the cab of his truck quickly after leaving class, pulling out into the line of cars heading out of the parking lot. They were all inching slowly forward when a shiny black car pulled out in front of him, cutting him off. James could just make out the sharp gray eyes in the rearview mirror. 

James ground his teeth together. At this rate, he was going to crack one of his molars. The cars in front of Regulus pulled forward, but Regulus didn’t move. It was then that he noticed Regulus’s family just now heading out of the school, walking to his car. James’s hand was hovering over his horn, itching to press it, when someone knocked on the window. He looked over to see Benjy standing there, waving enthusiastically. James rolled his window down. 

“Sorry man, it’s —” he began to say, gesturing toward Regulus’s unmoving car. 

“Oh, no worries,” Benjy said with an easy smile. “I actually wanted to catch you.” 

“Yeah?” James said, but he could already feel the uncomfortable prickle at the back of his neck. 

“Yeah, I wanted to see if you wanted to go to dinner with me,” Benjy said happily. James’s mouth dropped open in shock and he had to consciously snap it shut. 

“Oh, well, that’s really nice,” James said. 

“I know you turned down Bridget,” Benjy said. James had no idea who that was. “But I figured I should ask you.”

“Listen, I’m sorry, but I —” James started to say. 

“Don’t say no right away,” Benjy said quickly. “Just think about it.” He gave him another handsome smile before sprinting back to his car. 

James was almost completely sure that Benjy was just asking him out because he almost killed James with his car. Benjy had been overly attentive, but James was growing sick of it. He wished that Benjy had stuck around so he could tell him no. Now he would have to wait till at least the next school day to reject him. James rolled his eyes, looking up to see Regulus watching him in the mirror, shaking slightly like he was laughing. His family finally climbed into his car and Regulus pulled out of the parking lot quickly. It was good timing too, because James was very close to rear-ending the stupid shiny car in anger. 

Chapter Text

Trust me, it’s better if we’re not friends. Regulus’s words kept echoing in James’s thoughts. The way the corner of his lips turned up like he was enjoying a private joke, just as his eyebrows furrowed like he was puzzled or frustrated. He was so hard to read. 

“James, are you listening to me?” Remus said, his voice cutting through his thoughts. 

“Er,” James said. They were sitting in his kitchen waiting for dinner to finish cooking. Lyall was over again, and he was in the living room with James's father. Remus rolled his eyes a little, but he didn’t seem too annoyed. 

“What’s got you so distracted?” Remus asked. 

“It’s nothing,” James said, standing to check on the food on the stove. “What were we talking about?”

“Marlene got a job offer,” Remus said. 

“Oh, that’s right. That’s good, isn’t it?” James asked. 

“I guess,” Remus said, “but she’s waffling with it,like she can’t decide if she would be better off staying.”

“How far away is the job?”

“Two hours from the Res,” Remus replied. “She would probably stay with her cousin, she lives down there, but I don’t know, I think she’s unsure.”

“Cause of Dorcas?” James asked. Remus nodded. “What does Dorcas have to say about this?” 

“She said that Marlene should go,” Remus said. 

“Oh,” James said, frowning slightly. “I doubt Marlene took that well.”

“Exactly,” Remus said. “I know Dorcas is just trying to keep from holding Marlene back, but Marlene was obviously asking for a reason to stay.” 

“Definitely,” James agreed, idly stirring the boiling pasta. It was an easy dinner, but James couldn’t be bothered to do much else. “So, do you think Marlene is going to do it?” 

“Probably,” Remus said. 

“What’s the job again?” 

“She would be working for a Physical Therapist,” Remus said. “Just as an assistant, I think, but it’s closer to what she wants to do than anything she can find around here.” 

“Oh, that’s right,” James said. “Maybe Dorcas can just go with her.”

“Not likely,” Remus grumbled. 

“Why not? Didn’t she live in New York for two years?” 

“Yeah, but she’s fully settled here now, at least that’s what she told me. Plus, I doubt she would go with Marlene unless Marls explicitly asked her to, and with the way they’re acting now, that’s not likely to happen.” 

James chuckled a little. “They’re a mess.” 

“Yes,” Remus agreed emphatically. “So, are you ready to tell me what was distracting you?” Remus said cheerfully. James laughed, before sobering quietly. 

“If someone said to you that it was better if you weren’t friends, what would you think that means?” James asked, moving to strain the pasta. Remus gave him a thoughtful look. 

“I guess I would assume they were letting me down easy,” Remus said. James nodded. 

“I was afraid you would say that,” James mumbled, his lips twisting to the side of his mouth in a grimace. 

The thought that Regulus was letting him down easy consumed him for most of the night, but Remus didn’t push him to talk again. Honestly, it seemed a bit like he was pitying James, but James didn’t mind. Mostly he just felt horribly embarrassed. It must be obvious how obsessed he was with Regulus. He felt so stupid. 

Well, he wasn’t going to let Regulus make a fool out of him any longer. Of course, Regulus wasn’t interested in him. Why would he be? Regulus was beautiful and interesting and intriguing and James was… well, James. That was fine. If Regulus didn’t want to be his friend, then James was just fine with that. He could stay away from him. He would stay away from him. 

James let himself wallow in self-pity that evening, but by the next morning, all he felt was resolve. He drove to school on Wednesday resolutely not thinking about Regulus, playing the radio as loud as possible to drown out any of the rogue thoughts that came through. When he jumped out of the cab of his truck, he swung his bag around one shoulder so roughly that his car keys were knocked out of his hand into a puddle of water near his tire. 

James sighed quietly and bent down to pick them up, right before his fingers curled around the metal ring, a white hand shot out and stole them. James stood up so quickly that he felt light-headed for a second. Regulus was standing right next to him and when he caught James’s eye, he leaned casually back against the side of James’s truck. 

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people,” James said. He was aiming to keep his voice neutral, but it ended up sounding friendly, already an accidental smile slipping past his control. This was just pathetic. 

“It’s not my fault that you don’t pay attention,” Regulus said, his voice silky like melted butter weaving its way between the poorly built brick wall in James’s thoughts. 

James scowled. Stupid Regulus and his stupid perfect face. His eyes were darker than they had been the day before, the molten gold in the center muted. James forced himself to look away, he would not be caught staring into Regulus’s eyes. 

“Can I have my keys?” James asked, looking back just far enough so he could see the side of Regulus’s ear and reaching out his hand, palm up in waiting. 

“Of course,” Regulus cooed, he dangled the keys above James’s open hand for a moment before dropping them. 

James turned to leave, but he could feel Regulus watching him, his luminescent eyes like a physical pressure against his skin. “What was that about yesterday? Why did you box me in?” Damn it, James thought. He had been planning to ignore Regulus, not call him out for his annoying behavior. 

 “What do you mean?” Regulus asked. James could practically hear the smirk in his words, but he didn’t dare look back at him. 

“I thought you didn’t want to be my friend,” James said, hating how whiny the words sounded. “Shouldn’t you be ignoring me? Not annoying me to death.” He wished that he could just shut his mouth, why did he keep speaking?

“Oh, well, that wasn’t for my benefit, I’ll admit,” Regulus said, the smirk turning into a full smile. James could practically feel the way Regulus’s soft lips stretched around the words, his teeth piercing James’s skin as he spoke. “That was for poor Benjy’s sake.” 

James whipped around to look at him. “You —” James gasped, pointing a finger accusingly at Regulus’s face. 

“I had to give him a chance,” Regulus purred, his eyes zeroing in on James’s in a way that made James freeze in place. He wasn’t supposed to be talking to him! He was going to ignore him. This was all falling apart. “And I’m not ignoring you.” It was a lie obviously, James had lived the last several weeks just as Regulus had. He knew when he was being ignored. 

“So you’re trying to annoy me to death then?” James spat, his temper snapping even as embarrassment curled around him. “Since Benjy’s van didn’t finish the job for you?” 

The smile fell from Regulus’s face so quickly that if James had blinked he would have missed it, anger flashed behind his storm cloud eyes, his eyebrow twitching dangerously. 

“You are ridiculous,” Regulus said blankly, all sounds of humor chased away by James’s words. 

James ground his teeth together. At this rate, he wouldn’t have anything left but gums by the end of the year. He turned around, intent on walking calmly — not stomping — away from Regulus. 

“Wait!” Regulus called, he sounded confused like he didn’t realize he and James were having an argument. James was tired of being jerked around, so he kept walking. The puddles splashed loudly beneath his feet. He was not stomping. He wasn’t. 

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said, catching up with James easily despite James’s longer legs. James sped up, just slightly, he wasn’t going to take off running to get away from Regulus. Though he was a bit tempted, he had to admit. “That was a rude thing to say. Not that I didn’t mean it, I do think you’re ridiculous, but I still shouldn’t have said it.” 

“Why aren’t you leaving me alone?” James said, speeding up just a bit more. Regulus didn’t seem to be struggling even a little keeping up with him. 

“I needed to ask you something,” Regulus said cheerfully, the smile back in his voice. “You are very distracting.” James bristled. He wasn’t distracting. 

“Fine then,” James said, stopping abruptly to turn and look at Regulus. It was the first time they’d spoken while they were both standing since being in the hospital. Regulus was shorter than James by a few inches, but in the hospital, he had seemed so tall, he stood ramrod straight, every muscle in his back engaged. He didn’t seem so tall now, he seemed relaxed. James had to tilt his head down to look at him. He hated how much he liked it. “What do you want to ask then?” 

“Why did you say no to Benjy?” Regulus asked. His teeth gleamed against his pale skin, distracting James for a moment, but his eyes snapped back up when the words clicked. 

“Are you joking?” James asked sharply. 

“You turned down Bridget too,” Regulus said, thoughtfully. “Are you just not interested in anyone here?” 

James recoiled like he had been slapped, taking a half step backward. “Fuck you,” he said between gritted teeth before he could stop himself. He spun around and stomped — he really stomped this time, he couldn’t help it — inside. He couldn’t believe that Regulus would make fun of him like that. He knew he was pathetic for being so interested in a man who had been nothing but rude to him, he knew that, but he didn’t need Regulus pointing it out. Let alone turn it into a cruel joke. 

He stewed in his own anger and self-deprecation during his first two classes. James was pretty sure that Peter was shooting him concerned looks periodically, but James resolutely ignored him. By the time lunch rolled around, James was heavily considering ditching for the rest of the day. He did not want to sit in the same cafeteria with Regulus, let alone have to sit next to him for an entire class period. 

He decided against it though, realizing that it would be horribly cowardly to run away now. He needed to prove that Regulus’s words didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that he had spent weeks obsessing over the guy and that he had spent the last several hours feeling defeated and angry. He was a grown man and he wasn’t going to be chased away like that. 

“So, you’re coming, right?” Frank’s voice cut in. James had not been paying attention, far too consumed with his own thoughts to hear what was being discussed.

“Sorry? Can you repeat that?” James asked. 

“You’re coming to the Black Lake, right?” Frank repeated. 

“Oh, right, when is that?” 

Frank shook his head. “Saturday,” Peter answered. “We’re going to meet here in the morning and then drive over there together.” 

“I’m not sure if I can,” James said regretfully. “I have to work.”

“No, no,” Frank said quickly. “Gran is going to cover the shop that day. I already checked with her. You have to come.” Frank spoke with a desperation that felt largely out of place for the stakes they were discussing. James gave him a questioning look. “Alice is coming,” Frank hissed. 

“Okay?” James said questioningly. 

“You have to be there,” Frank said. 

“All right, fine,” James replied with a quiet chuckle. “Though I’m not sure my presence is necessary for you and Alice to have a date.” Peter laughed along, but Frank just blushed furiously. 

James left lunch feeling very proud of himself. He only looked over at Regulus two times. That had to be a record. Once was when he was first entering the cafeteria, his eyes drifting over to Regulus before he could stop them. He was sitting with his family as usual, but it looked like they were all talking to each other, very specifically leaving Regulus out. Lily, who was sitting closest to Regulus, had her back fully turned to him. 

The second time was halfway through lunch when he heard loud laughter coming from the table. It was Barty, his head thrown back as he cackled. That time was the most embarrassing considering Regulus was already looking at James, his eyes unreadable. James looked away quickly, hoping that the blush he could feel spreading up his neck wasn’t too obvious. 

Regulus was already in his seat in Biology when James entered, but James didn’t even let his eyes glide past. Gilderoy was walking with him, as usual, chattering on about what car he would take to the Black Lake and the various merits of each option. James had only ever seen Gilderoy drive one car, so he had no idea what Gilderoy was talking about. 

James set his bag down in his chair a little too roughly and immediately it tipped over, the loose pages from all the copies James had made spilled out onto the floor, spreading out in a flurry of white paper. Gilderoy bent down to help James pick them up immediately.  

“What are all these pages?” Gilderoy asked. He was moving slowly, picking them all up one by one as if he was hoping James would finish quickly enough that he didn’t have to actually do anything. 

“I don’t have my books yet, so I've been making copies of all the pages,” James answered. His cheeks burned. 

“You don't have your books yet?” Gilderoy asked. James could feel others in the class listening to their conversation. 

“Someone has checked them all out of the library, and I didn’t want to order them,” James explained. 

“And they haven’t brought them back yet?” Gilderoy tilted his head to the side as he spoke. 

“Nope,” James said, finally grabbing the last sheet of paper and stacking them up messily so he could shove them quickly in his bag. “I meant to drive out to Hogsmeade, but it’s pretty far. I just haven’t gotten around to it.” 

Hogsmeade was the closest town with a sizable bookstore where James could buy his books. It took over an hour to drive there, and after James was thwarted in his earlier plan to travel there, he had been a bit lazy. 

“Oh!” Gilderoy said excitedly. “Well, I could drive you. I’m sure it would be difficult in that old piece of junk you drive, I could get you there much faster.” James drew himself up in anger. His truck was a bit old, sure, but it wasn’t a piece of junk. “We could go to dinner while we’re out, I know a great place.” Gilderoy gave him his brightest smile, which was really saying something given how he looked normally. 

The rejection was right on the tip of James’s tongue. He had no desire to spend any extra time with Gilderoy, especially not on a date with him in a city an hour away. That sounded awful. But out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Regulus watching the interaction. His eyes felt heavy, James could always sense them. 

Regulus wasn’t interested in him. He had made that more than clear. And more than that, he had openly mocked him for his crush earlier in the day. James could move on. He could take a hint. 

“Yeah, you know what, I would love that,” James replied. He smiled as naturally as he could, though he doubted Gilderoy would notice that it was a little fake. 

James didn’t know what he expected, perhaps Gilderoy would look a little taken aback by James’s response, but he didn’t falter for even a second. 

“I knew you were just waiting for the right person to ask you,” Gilderoy said. He leaned forward and grabbed James’s shoulder firmly as he spoke, though his hand quickly moved down to squeeze his bicep in a way that James did not appreciate. 

Slughorn started class a second later, and James breathed a sigh of relief as he fell heavily into his seat, using all of his available willpower to not look over at Regulus who was very obviously still watching him. James ignored him. He wasn’t going to rise to the bait. Class dragged, though James was very happy that Slughorn never sent them off to work with their partners. He was glad he didn’t have to face Regulus. 

“Did you say yes to a date with Gilderoy?” Peter whispered furiously the moment James sat down in History. 

“How do you know that?” James asked. 

“Everyone is talking about it,” Peter said simply. “Is it true?”

“Wow, word travels fast,” James muttered. “Yes, it’s true,” he said slightly louder, already sounding regretful. He answered the question like he was apologizing. 

“Um, why exactly did you say yes?” Peter asked quietly. 

James couldn’t very well say oh, because I didn’t want Regulus to think I have a pathetic, unrequited crush on him, so I said yes to someone else to show that I wasn’t interested. And he definitely couldn’t say because I wanted Regulus to get jealous and ask me out instead. That was just ridiculous. 

“Well,” James said slowly. “He seems nice.” Peter gave him a long, incredulous look. 

“If you say so,” Peter said before chuckling slightly. “Rita is going to kill you,” he said so quietly that James almost missed it. James was very much regretting saying yes. Lily didn’t speak to him in class that day, but he could see her shooting looks at him out of the corner of her eye. He drove home that day consumed with embarrassment and a trickle of shame. 

Regulus’s hands were cold, his skin chilled like he had been standing under a cold shower for half an hour before showing up, but his touch felt like molten lava. It burned James in a way he had never been burned. As if his insides were shifting and bubbling and heating up. He was consumed by it. 

“Can I touch you?” Regulus whispered. He didn’t give James a moment to reply, claiming his lips with his own the moment the question was out of his mouth. James wanted to focus on Regulus and his sinful mouth, but his hands were moving quickly, sliding down James’s chest like a line of fire. 

James was naked, he couldn’t remember taking his clothes off, but he barely cared. Regulus was fully dressed, wearing one of those expensive black sweaters that he always wore, his pants pressed and perfectly tailored. They hugged his hips in a way that made James jealous, he wished it was his hands there instead of clothing. 

James wanted to reach out to hold him, to tug him closer and grasp him so roughly that it would force a lovely little gasp from Regulus’s mouth. He couldn’t though. His hands were weighed down against the wall behind him. It wasn’t like they were tied down, it was like gravity was working on only one part of his body, holding his hands still. The rest of him was weightless. 

Regulus wrapped his cold fingers around James’s cock, tugging lightly before loosening his hand enough to brush over his head with just the tips of his fingers. James choked on a breath as he watched his face. Regulus looked focused, a small smirk on his lips. His eyes were glued to James’s face. 

“Please,” James breathed. Regulus kissed him again. His mouth consumed him. James felt like he was being swallowed whole as if he was being reduced to nothing more than something Regulus could absorb. Regulus’s fingers worked quickly, dancing along James’s shaft, curling around him, tugging a few times, loosening again. It was torture. 

James groaned, the sound stopping with a stutter when he came unexpectedly. He didn’t even realize how close he was, it was as if he was disconnected from his body. Like he was out of reach from the true experience. 

“Regulus,” James moaned, his words muffled. 

“This is a surprise,” Regulus whispered back. 

James’s eyes flew open. It was still dark and it took him a moment to realize why. It was morning, that much was clear, but his face was half buried in his pillows. That explained the muffled voice, he thought. 

He was laying on his stomach, spread out on his bed. He shifted slightly and immediately flushed when he felt the mess in his boxers. Both of his hands were asleep having been tucked under his head, they prickled slightly as he rolled his wrists trying to get the blood flowing. He must have been grinding against his bed. 

He climbed out of bed, moving awkwardly with the wet feeling around his soft cock. God, he hadn’t cum in his pants since he was in high school. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had a wet dream. 

And it had to be Regulus, didn’t it? James sighed frustratedly, jumping into the shower and quickly washing away the evidence. He felt mortified. He knocked his head against the shower wall, the cold tile grounding. His thoughts drifted unwillingly to Regulus’s cold fingers from his dream, and James reached down to pinch the skin on his hip to distract himself. Why did he have to have a dream like that? 

It wasn’t until James finally stepped out of the shower that he realized how late it was. He was usually an early riser, so he didn’t notice that he had overslept. He barely had twenty minutes to get dressed and make it to class. He scrambled to move as quickly as he could, forgoing breakfast so he could sprint out of the house. 

“Morning, James,” his father called as James passed. James felt a pang of guilt remembering that he usually cooked food for his father. He didn’t have the time though. He would make it up to him later. 

He made it to campus with five minutes to spare. He jumped out of the cab and nearly tripped as he landed roughly on the concrete. He managed to right himself before sprinting up to the buildings. James was surprised to find Gilderoy standing right next to the door to his first class. 

“Gilderoy,” James greeted, confused. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“Waiting for you, darling,” Gilderoy said with a grin. James wished he wouldn’t call him that. 

“Oh, well, I’m about to be late,” James said, gesturing toward the classroom. 

“I just wanted to nail down a date with you,” Gilderoy said. “A date for our date.” He laughed loudly at his own asinine wordplay. “I was thinking Tuesday, you don’t work then, right?”

“Er, right,” James said, scratching at the back of his head awkwardly. He didn’t comb his hair after his shower, too rushed to remember that he needed to do so, so his fingers immediately caught in the tangles. He probably looked like a mad scientist. “Yes, Tuesday is fine.”

James should really cancel on Gilderoy, but he also felt a bit bad for the man. One date wouldn’t do any harm. Then he would let him down easy. 

“Excellent,” Gilderoy said before leaning forward and kissing James on the cheek. James didn’t even have a moment to react before Gilderoy was off, gliding down the pathway to his first class. 

James was late to class, only by a minute or two, but Sprout gave him a reproachful look when he rushed in and took his seat as quickly and as quietly as he could. Peter gave him a once over, his eyes lingering on James’s unruly hair. James tried to comb through it with his fingers, but they kept getting caught and he gave up. 

“Alice is so excited about the Black Lake trip,” Frank rambled as they walked to the cafeteria. “I wonder if I should wear a swimsuit. Do you think she’s going to want to swim? It’ll be chilly. Maybe I should bring some extra towels and blankets. And a change of clothes in case she forgets. I don’t want her to catch a cold.”

“I’m sure Alice will be well prepared,” James said with a kind laugh. 

“Yeah, she’s responsible,” Frank said dreamily. James laughed again. “Oh, I think Regulus Black is trying to get your attention.”

“What?” James yelped. They had just walked into the cafeteria a second before, making their way through the crowd to their standard table. James’s eyes found Regulus immediately. He wasn’t sitting with his family like he usually was, he was at a table off to the side of where the others sat, all of them ignoring him and each other. 

Regulus was sitting straight backed, his hands had been clasped in front of him resting on the table, but he unclasped them and raised one hand to beckon James over with the croak of his finger. 

“I’ll see you later,” James said faintly to Frank before walking over to Regulus like he was in a daze. 

“Does he actually mean James ?” James heard Rita say as he passed their table, her voice full of insulting astonishment. James ignored it. Rita can insult him all she wants if Regulus is going to give him attention. Jesus. He really needed to get his thoughts under control. 

He arrived at Regulus’s table and stopped awkwardly behind the chair, looking down at Regulus who was watching him with sharp eyes and a very slight smile. James suddenly didn’t know what to do, and for a second, he had the panicked thought that perhaps Regulus had not been motioning him over and that he’d meant someone else. 

“Why don’t you sit with me today?” Regulus said, his voice like a purr. It vibrated through the air and caressed James’s skin like a cashmere blanket. 

James didn’t reply right away, instead, he pulled out his seat and sat down quickly, setting his bag on the floor next to him. Not once did he take his eyes off of Regulus. James wondered if this was another dream. Maybe Regulus was about to yank over the table and pull his cock out in front of the entire student body. The mental image caused a blush to spread across his face. Regulus’s smile grew wider like he knew what James was thinking. 

“This is different,” James said suddenly, mostly so that he could feel the loaded silence. Or at least it felt loaded to him. It probably didn’t feel like anything to Regulus. 

“Yes,” Regulus agreed. “I’ve changed my mind.”

“About what?” James asked. 

“About staying away from you. It’s too difficult and I’m not sure I can survive much longer watching you pout every day.”

“I don’t pout,” James said, pouting. He folded his lips in when Regulus’s smile clued him into what he was doing. “You didn’t seem to have a problem with my pouting earlier,” he snapped, perhaps a tad too harshly. 

Regulus’s grin grew wider. “Well, I was trying to be a good person, but I figure why try.”

“You know I don’t know what you mean by that,” James accused.

“I’m aware.” Regulus watched James for a moment before his eyes refocused on something over James’s shoulders. “Your friends are very unhappy that I’ve stolen you.”

“How do you know?” 

“Their collective frowns and glares are indication enough,” Regulus said. James rolled his eyes. 

“They’ll get over it, I’m sure,” James muttered. He could feel their eyes now, prickling at the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“I might not give you back to them,” Regulus threatened. James’s neck grew warm under his gaze. “Does that scare you?”

“No,” James said immediately. Scared was not the word he would use for how he was feeling at that moment. “So, does this mean that we’re friends now?” James meant the words to sound like a joke, like Regulus’s early rejection had just rolled off his back without issue. Instead, he sounded needy, at least to his own ears. 

Regulus hummed thoughtfully. 

“Or not,” James said. He surprised himself by grabbing his bag and making to get up. He was bluffing of course, nothing in the world could tear him away from this table. 

“We can try, I suppose,” Regulus said, glancing down at James’s hand clasped around the strap of his bag. “I’m not that great of a friend though, I should warn you.” He looked up at James’s eyes before glancing at the bag again, his intention clear. James let the bag drop, leaning back in his chair again. 

“Well, I’m a great friend,” James said cheerfully. “I can be a good friend for both of us.” Regulus tipped his head back and laughed. 

“I’m sure you are,” Regulus said, but there was cruelty to his words. James knew he was being made fun of, but if it was Regulus doing the mocking, then he didn’t think he minded too much. “Though if you were smart, you wouldn’t be a good friend to me. You would run the other way.”

James rolled his eyes. “I’ll take it under consideration.” Regulus shook his head in exasperation, just slightly, but his smile widened. 

“I am curious — why did you say yes to Gilderoy, he doesn’t seem your type,” Regulus said conversationally, he folded his fingers together elegantly, distracting James from his train of thought for a moment. 

James tried not to react too much to his question, it was difficult though. “He’s nice enough,” James said, then because he couldn’t help himself, he leaned forward and whispered, “and I do really need a ride to Hogsmeade.” 

Regulus’s grin turned sharp like a ceremonial dagger. “It’s not nice to use people, James.”

“I’m not using him,” James said, though he wasn’t sure that was true. 

“Hm,” Regulus hummed. “Your boyfriend is quite upset that I’m talking to you. I think he might come over here and break up our conversation.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” James said automatically. 

“He certainly thinks he is, or will be soon,” Regulus said. James thought he heard a note of jealousy, but he was almost positive that he imagined it. Wishful thinking and all that. 

“I doubt that,” James said, mostly to say something. He couldn’t really think about Gilderoy at the moment. 

“Are you not hungry?” Regulus asked. 

James flashed back to his morning of mortification, remembering the fact he had not only not been able to eat breakfast in his rush, but had also forgotten to pack a lunch. He could always go and buy something from the cafeteria, but his stomach was in knots. Sitting across from Regulus, having his full and undivided attention was almost too much for James, and he didn’t think he would actually be able to eat. 

“No,” James said with a half-shrug. “Are you?” Regulus quirked an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his lips. 

“No, I’m not hungry,” he said sardonically. James gave him a measured look. 

“Okay, then,” James said. 

He didn’t know what else to say, so he didn’t say anything. That wasn’t a very common occurrence for James. He felt like he usually was the one talking people’s heads off, always rambling on about something or other, but something about Regulus made him lose his train of thought. Regulus just stared back silently, tilting his head to the side just slightly, but letting them linger in the empty silence. 

“What are you thinking about?” Regulus asked, his voice a shock to James’s system after the long few minutes where James didn’t hear it. He wondered if he would ever get used to it. 

“I’m trying to figure out what you are,” James said simply, then immediately cringed. He didn’t like how that sounded. He just didn’t understand how Regulus was able to have such an effect on him.

“What I am?” Regulus said with a quiet laugh. 

“You did move across a parking lot at lightning speed to knock me out of the way of a moving van,” James said. Regulus’s jaw tightened, but his smile didn’t waver. 

“And are you making any headway?” Regulus asked. 

“What do you mean?”

“Into figuring out what I am?” 

“I have my theories,” James said evasively. It was a lie. He had no idea, and he was almost willing to believe that he had just imagined the whole thing, though he knew that wasn’t true. 

“What are your theories?” Regulus asked. 

“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?” James asked. 

“Is it?”

“You are obviously a government experiment, sent here specifically to fuck with me,” James said. 

“You caught me,” Regulus said, opening his hands in surrender before clasping them again.

I wish, James thought. “Although you could also be my guardian angel,” James said with a smile. Were they flirting? This felt like flirting. 

Regulus’s smile turned into a smirk. “You’re wrong,” he said. His tone was light, but there was some emotion behind his eyes, some condemnation of what James had said. 

“Don’t you believe in angels?” James asked. 

“I’ve never seen one,” Regulus replied. 

“Maybe you have, and you just don’t know it.”

“Perhaps,” Regulus conceded. “Though I doubt it.” He seemed somber all of a sudden, and James didn’t know what he had said to gain that reaction. “Either way, I don’t think I would be an angel.”

“Why not?” James asked, leaning even farther forward. 

“Angels are the good guys,” Regulus said. 

“And you’re not a good guy?” 

Regulus just looked at him, watching the emotions flicker across James’s face as he worked to decipher what Regulus wasn’t telling him. 

“You’re dangerous?” James settled on. Something sparked in Regulus’s eyes, some glint of recognition. “You don’t have to tell me,” James whispered. “Obviously, I want to know. But I’m not going to force you to share.”

“You’re too nice, James,” Regulus said, like it was an insult. Regulus looked away and James, finally free from the prison that was Regulus’s eyes, noticed how quiet the cafeteria had gotten. 

He stood up quickly, grabbing his bag. “Oh, God,” James groaned. “Not again. Come on, we’re going to be late.” 

“I’m not going to class today,” Regulus said simply. 

“Why not?” James asked, hating how crestfallen he sounded. 

That Regulus Black smirk was back. “It’s a good idea to skip class now and again,” he said. 

James didn’t know what he meant. It felt like another one of those vague statements that he was always making with the express purpose of messing with James. 

“Okay, well, I’ll see you later then,” James said, turning to leave. He wanted to go back, he wanted to spend the rest of the day sitting across from Regulus, but it was too early in the semester to start skipping classes. 

“Thank you for joining us, James,” Slughorn said the moment he entered the classroom. 

“Sorry,” James muttered. James hurried over to his seat, pausing for a moment when he noticed Gilderoy sitting in Regulus’s usual spot. “Hey.”

“My partner is not here today,” Gilderoy said. “Slughorn said we could pair up.” 

“Okay,” James said, he tried to smile at Gilderoy who looked a little surly, but he thought it came out more like a grimace than anything. 

“Today we are going to be starting a new component of the class and that is studying blood cells. We’ll start today with a little experiment. I’ll be going around to prick your fingers to draw blood, and we will look at our blood samples under a microscope. I’ll be coming around with a dropper of water — ” 

James tuned Slughorn out. He had never had a problem with blood before, but his lack of food that day was starting to catch up to him, and he suddenly felt like he could smell all the little drops of blood in the room. He should have eaten, but his stomach still felt like it was tied up in knots from his interactions with Regulus. 

He leaned his head down on the desk, placing his cheek against the tabletop. 

“James?” Gilderoy asked. He sounded judgmental. 

“Are you unwell?” Slughorn said loudly. 

“Yes,” James mumbled. The room felt like it was spinning. 

“Will you take him out of the classroom?” Slughorn said frantically. 

“But what if he throws up on me?” Gilderoy asked, sounding scandalized. 

“That is what I’m worried about,” Slughorn said. “It would be quite distracting for that to happen during the class period.” 

James cracked open one eye to see Gilderoy looking down at him with thinly veiled disgust. He lifted his head and grabbed his still unpacked bag, he didn’t need an escort, he was fully capable of walking out of the classroom all on his own. 

“Can you walk?” Gilderoy asked, standing up alongside James who was already walking. 

“Yes,” James replied. They made it to the edge of the parking lot before James had to stop. His head was spinning, and he was pretty sure that if he moved much more he would end up vomiting in the grass. He stepped down off the curb and sat down, tucking his head between his knees. 

“You shouldn’t sit on the ground, it’s very dirty,” Gilderoy said haughtily. James groaned quietly. Somehow Gilderoy’s voice made him feel even sicker. He drifted to the side and decided to just give in, falling down and laying the side of his face flat against the wet concrete. It was only drizzling, not that James would have cared either way given the state he was in. 

“What is going on?” Regulus’s sharp voice cut through the buzzing in his ears. “What did you do to him?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Gilderoy replied. “He said he was feeling sick. You should probably stand back, I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” 

“Yes, fine,” Regulus said quickly. “Why don’t you go back to class?” There was a long pause of silence, and James could only imagine what Gilderoy’s face was doing, but in the end, he agreed. 

“See you tomorrow, James,” he said before James heard the quiet sounds of footsteps walking away. 

James didn’t hear anything for a long few seconds before a cold hand touched the side of his face gently. Earlier that day, that cold skin might have caused a very different reaction, but now, it only caused him to breathe a sigh of relief. It was grounding against the nausea and dizziness he was feeling, luckily both of them were fading quickly. 

“What’s wrong?” Regulus said, his voice soft like silk. 

“Just a bit dizzy,” James mumbled. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”

“I don’t think Gilderoy does very well with the prospect of vomiting,” Regulus said thoughtfully. 

“He’s an idiot,” James replied automatically. Regulus huffed out a laugh. James hadn’t meant to say that. He hoped Regulus would call him out on it. 

“Let me take you home,” Regulus said gently. 

“I still have another class,” James said, finally feeling well enough to open his eyes. 

“You can skip one class, James.” Regulus looked exasperated. 

“I can drive myself,” James replied, dragging himself up so that he was sitting. Regulus had been kneeling over him, and he stood back once James was upright. 

“Unlikely,” Regulus said. “You’ll just endanger everyone else on the road.” 

James sighed. “Fine,” he agreed. He stood up slowly, only having to sidestep a little bit when the dizziness returned. It wasn’t unmanageable though and the wet air had cleared up his nausea. Regulus’s small and expensive black car was parked where it usually was, just a few spots away from the doors to the first building. 

The car was running, the engine so quiet that James almost didn’t notice at first. Inside it smelled like leather and costly cologne. James took a heavy breath in, pulled in by the scent. Regulus slipped into the driver's seat. 

“Why are you still on campus if you were skipping class?” 

“I still had to drive my family home,” he replied, putting the car in reverse when James buckled his seatbelt. “So, you don’t like the sight of blood?” 

James chuckled. “It doesn’t usually bother me,” he said. He sounded tired. “But I just wasn’t feeling that great today. Plus, it’s more the smell than anything.”

Regulus didn’t respond, the silence dragging between them. There was quiet music playing in the background, but James couldn’t make it out. The titles were all in French anyway, so he doubted he would recognize them. 

“Is tomorrow your date?” Regulus asked. 

“Huh?” James said. 

“Gilderoy said he would see you tomorrow.”

Oh,” James muttered, “no, we’re going down to the Black Lake.”

“Ah,” Regulus said with a small nod. 

“You could come too if you want.” James didn’t know what prompted him to say it. “It’s a group thing, a bunch of us are going.”

Regulus looked at him for a split second. “I don’t think I was invited,” Regulus said. 

James shrugged. “I just invited you.” Regulus didn’t respond. The song changed to one he recognized. He wasn’t sure of the name, this one in French as well, but he had heard it many times before. “My mom used to love this song,” he mumbled, more to himself than anything. 

“What was she like?” 

James smiled. “Like me, but even more charismatic. She made friends wherever she went.” He shook his head fondly, remembering all the times he had been stuck at the grocery store for an extra hour because his mom couldn’t stop chatting with the grocers. “She was an adventurous cook.” It was the thing he missed the most about her. He would give anything to spend another meal with her. 

“Adventurous?” Regulus asked with a tiny smirk, his brows furrowed in question. 

James chuckled. “Yes, but I mean it in a good way. My dad’s father is from India originally, but he didn’t raise my dad with any of his culture. He wanted him to assimilate with the rest of their white neighbors. When my mom learned this, she took a cooking class to learn how to make traditional Indian dishes. Not that she knew where my dad’s family was from exactly. She just picked dishes from all over the country, trying to cover all her bases. She had never even had Indian food when she met my dad, but she was always willing to try new things.”

“Do you still make any of them?” 

“No,” James said, shaking his head slightly. “I never learned. I didn’t care much about cooking until I  moved out, and by then, I lived too far away to have her teach me.” His chest clenched painfully. 

“You must really miss her,” Regulus said softly. 

“Yeah,” James said, all good humor gone. “Yeah, I do.” 

Regulus was silent for a long moment. “How old are you, James?” 

“Twenty-five,” James replied automatically. Regulus hummed thoughtfully. James wanted to know what he was thinking, but Regulus didn’t say anything. “What about your parents?”

“I don’t speak to them,” Regulus said automatically. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” James replied. 

“It’s all right,” Regulus said blankly but didn’t elaborate. 

“And the rest of your family?” James prompted. 

“Most of them are adopted,” Regulus said, smirking like he’d said a joke James didn't understand. 

“What about Sirius?” Regulus’s head snapped over to him so quickly that James nearly jumped in surprise. 

“You know Sirius?” Regulus asked incredulously. 

“No,” James said slowly. “I know of him. Hagrid talks about him sometimes. He’s a vet, right?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said, he seemed to relax. “He’s my older brother.” 

“Oh, right,” James said. He knew they had to be related given how much Sirius and Regulus looked alike, but he didn’t understand James’s reaction to him bringing up Sirius’s name. 

“Speaking of my family, I should probably head back to the school to pick them up.”

“Of course,” James said quickly. He hadn’t even noticed that they arrived at his house, too wrapped up in Regulus to see anything else. “Well, thanks for the ride.” 

“Hey, James,” Regulus said as James climbed out of the car. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but do try not to get into any mortal danger at the Black Lake. I won’t always be there to save you.” 

James shook his head. “I’ll do my best,” he replied, aiming to sound annoyed, but he mostly just sounded fond. 

Chapter Text

James expected to wake up early the next morning and ask his father for a ride to the college campus. He had all but forgotten about his truck at school, thoroughly distracted by Regulus, but when he looked out the window right before he went to sleep, it was to find his truck parked in the driveway as if he had driven it home himself. 

He walked downstairs, out into the cold evening, and opened the cab door. The truck was unlocked, and his car keys were in the ignition. He tugged them out, placing them in his pajama pant pockets. He was pretty sure his keys had been in his school bag. How did Regulus manage to get them from him? He figured he must have grabbed them when James was in the car with him.

It was nice the next morning. Or as nice as Godric’s Hollow could be. It wasn’t raining, though it was still overcast. It was cold, but not frigid. Warm enough that James wore a short-sleeved t-shirt under his thick sweater, just in case he got the opportunity to take the sweater off. 

He made a quick breakfast as usual and left before his father was even out of bed. His dad seemed oddly disappointed that James was going to be spending the day out, though James couldn’t understand why. He usually worked or went to school most days, it wasn’t like they were spending that much time together outside of dinner. Still, it made him feel oddly guilty. 

Peter and Rita both beat him to Hogwarts. James laughed out loud when he saw them. They were both leaning on the hoods of their cars, looking anywhere but at each other. It was a very unlikely pairing, and James wasn’t surprised by the looks on each of their faces. Rita just seemed annoyed, that typical “I’m above it all” expression that she always wore, while Peter looked like he was contemplating walking into oncoming traffic to escape the awkward tension. 

“Morning,” James said cheerfully. Both of them relaxed when they saw him, though Rita quickly schooled her face into one of anger and judgment. Right, James thought, his date with Gilderoy. He really shouldn’t have agreed to that. He wondered if Rita would stop glaring at him if he canceled on the man. 

“Perfect weather for it,” Peter said in way of a greeting. 

“Sure is,” James agreed. “All right, Rita?” James said with his brightest smile. 

“When are the others getting here?” she muttered instead of replying. 

They waited around for another twenty minutes while everyone arrived. Frank was right behind James, pulling into the parking lot only a few minutes after him. He was jittery and anxious like he’d had too much coffee that morning. It only got ten times worse when Alice drove up. Benjy, and two other girls whom he couldn’t remember the names of, all came together in Benjy’s damaged van. Gilderoy was last, about fifteen minutes late. 

Regulus, of course, didn’t show. James didn’t actually think he would, but he couldn’t deny that he felt disappointed when Regulus’s car never pulled into the lot. 

“Are we ready to head off?” Gilderoy asked. 

“Shotgun!” Rita yelled in reply, shooting a venomous smirk at James as she jumped into Gilderoy’s SUV. 

Peter shook his head while laughing. “You better watch out, she’s going to steal your man,” he whispered. 

“Please don’t refer to Gilderoy as my man,” James groaned. 

They took two cars. James, Peter, Rita, and Alice all jumped into Gilderoy’s SUV. Benjy, the other two girls, and Frank climbed into Benjy’s van. James shot him a bewildered look, but Frank just waved his arms around helplessly like some invisible force was making him ride in a different car from Alice.  

The Black Lake wasn’t far from where Remus’s house was, though it took a lot longer to travel a few short miles than James would have expected. He was still unused to the mountain like driving in the area. What would usually only take a few minutes took them nearly half an hour to get through. James was mildly car-sick by the time they finally parked. 

It was sprinkling rain once they reached the shore, but James welcomed the cold water droplets on his warm face. The others had said that the Black Lake was part of the ocean, not a real lake, and that was obvious the moment James walked out on the bank. However, the cove was surrounded by high walls of jagged rocks and thick trees.

The beach was covered in small black stones and pebbles that made the water look obsidian. He wondered how it would look in the sunshine – if it would gleam brightly, or if the black water would swallow the sun. It's the perfect kind of beach for a place like Godric’s Hollow, everything there is so gray and dark. Even most of the greenery is as dark as the aphotic depths of the sea.  

“Are you planning to swim?” Benjy asked, running up to stand next to James. 

“I don’t know. Do you think it’ll be too cold?” James asked. 

“Oh, it’ll definitely be too cold. That’s not going to stop me though,” Benjy replied with a wink. 

James watched as Benjy sauntered back to his van to start unloading the few items they brought with them. The water, though too dark to see through, was oddly enticing. James had always loved to swim. Growing up they had a pool in the backyard that James spent every single day of summer in until he was about thirteen. It was only four feet deep so by the time he entered high school, he was too tall to really enjoy it. Still, he spent a lot of time in the water. 

The thing he wasn’t used to was being surrounded by nature. He had been to the beach several times growing up and always enjoyed it, but East Coast beaches were way different than West Coast ones, especially places like the Black Lake. He found the thought of crashing into the water intimidating. Especially given that he had no idea what would be beneath his feet, the water too opaque to see through. 

The others seemed unbothered by the nature of it all. Being among the forest, the trees, and the black water was as natural to them as the New York subway was to James. They had an ease about them that he felt like he was missing. He wondered if his father or mother ever felt that way, he supposed not given that they had grown up in Godric’s Hollow. James just felt like he was playing at a disadvantage. 

“Hey, James, you mind helping us with this?” one of the girls he didn’t know the name of asked him. James nodded and jogged back to the car, his car sickness finally fading. They had packed a cooler as well as a bunch of camping chairs that were clearly well-worn. 

The beach was basically completely empty, James could spot a few older men a ways down from them, near where the cove met the main coast, but other than that, they were alone. Although it was still early. They set up the chairs around an empty fire pit, James shaking them all out to remove the dirt that was nearly embedded in the nylon. 

“Let’s get a fire going,” Peter said cheerfully, to which Frank and Benjy agreed. Alice nodded her head vigorously, her arms wrapped around her chest against the chilly morning. 

The task of starting a fire was much more difficult than they originally thought it would be. The fire pit was mostly empty except for some leftover ash that had been weighed down by the constant rain. They brought some firewood with them, something James would not have thought to do himself, but it wasn’t nearly enough to fill the area. 

“Maybe we should collect some sticks?” James said. 

“We’ll have to find some that aren’t wet,” Alice replied. “Otherwise they won’t burn.” 

“You got it,” James said, giving Alice a mock salute before turning toward the forest. 

“I’ll go with you,” Gilderoy said, jumping up from where he had been sitting in one of the chairs.

“Oh, okay sure,” James replied, shooting Peter a look that he hoped conveyed his panic and desire for Peter to come with them. Peter just rolled his eyes and laughed, the bastard. 

“I’ll go too,” Rita said, sauntering over toward them and batting her eyes at Gilderoy. 

“Whatever you want to do is fine, Rita,” Gilderoy replied dismissively. 

“Make sure you find some dry leaves as well!” Alice shouted as they started walking. 

“Yeah, like that’s likely,” James mumbled to himself. 

He had been hoping to go on a walk by himself, perhaps get a moment to explore the thick forest around the cove, but Gilderoy was practically glued to him. He kept bumping his hand against James’s like he wanted James to grab it. James did his best to ignore him though. He wasn’t about to hold hands on a walk through the forest with a man he barely even liked. 

Rita walked a few paces behind them. She was wearing thick heels, which James thought were very impractical for this kind of outing, yet she navigated the damp ground like an expert. He looked back at her periodically, just to make sure she wasn’t being left behind, but each time she just glared back at him, her arms crossed over her chest in annoyance. It took them a long while to find enough dry sticks and leaves for the fire. By the time they were headed back, James was about ready to drown himself in the Black Lake. 

Gilderoy had been completely unhelpful, not surprising, but still annoying. James was carrying a huge pile of sticks with a ton of leaves packed in on top, while Gilderoy was carrying one small stick in both hands like it was a heavy log. Rita carried nothing, but she was at least helpful in gathering the materials. 

When they emerged back onto the beach, half of their party was missing. Benjy and Frank were still standing next to the fire pit talking loudly about some football game. Or at least Benjy was talking loudly about the game, Frank mostly looked lost, though he was nodding along. Alice, Peter, and the other girls were missing. 

“Where’d everyone go?” James asked as he unceremoniously dumped all the sticks and leaves into the pit. 

“Frank here forgot to pack the beers,” Benjy said with a laugh, slapping Frank on the back so hard that he jolted forward. 

“Sorry,” Frank said awkwardly. “I was a little distracted this morning.” 

“It happens,” James said. “Any idea how to light a fire?”

“Nope,” Frank said with a loud pop of his lips. 

“We just throw a match on it, right?” Benjy said. 

“You two are supposed to be the outdoorsy ones,” James said as Gilderoy came to sit in one of the camping chairs. “You literally work at a hiking store, Frank.” 

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I use any of that stuff in practice,” Frank said. Benjy and James laughed. “Besides, you work there too now.”

“Fair enough,” James said with another chuckle. “Alice seemed to know what she was talking about, should we wait for her?” 

Frank’s face flushed slightly. “Yeah, good idea,” he said. 

“Oh, please,” Rita practically growled. She stood up so quickly that James expected her to topple when her heels met the rocks, but she was as graceful as ever. “Move out of the way,” she said to James, all but shoving him to the side. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, looking at Frank and Benjy with a questioning expression, but both of them just shrugged. 

Only a few moments later, a huge fire was burning in the fire pit, Rita stepped back and brushed her hands together to clear off the dirt and ash. 

“Wow, Rita,” Benjy said. “That was impressive.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Rita said with an eye roll. “You all are just incompetent.”

“Hey, you guys got the fire going!” Peter shouted, jogging up to them. He was carrying a case of beer on his shoulder. The three girls were coming up the trail behind him, each of them carrying a few things as they all talked amongst themselves. 

It was only about ten in the morning at that point, but the moment Peter opened the case of beer, they were all drinking. There wasn’t much else to do out there except drink, at least for the time being. They all sat around the fire for about an hour before people started breaking off. Peter, Benjy, and the two girls decided to go on a hike up into the forest. Rita and Gilderoy were stuck in an intense conversation about some reality TV show that James had never seen before, while Frank and Alice quietly got up to walk along the beach. 

When James was sure Rita and Gilderoy were distracted, he got up as well, heading in the opposite direction of Frank and Alice so he wouldn’t disturb them. The air was growing warmer as the morning passed, though James thought the alcohol consumption was also helping with that, and he was finally comfortable enough to take off the thick sweater he was wearing. It was still a bit chilly to just wear a t-shirt, but James preferred that to sweating. 

He didn’t walk far, just enough to get away from the noise Gilderoy and Rita were making. At one point, he stopped and settled onto the ground. The small rocks dug into his backside uncomfortably, but James ignored it, focusing instead on the sound of the small waves hitting the shore. It was peaceful and calming. 

He couldn’t help but think of his mother, of how much she would have loved this moment. He always suspected that she wasn’t happy that he’d chosen to live so far away from them, though unlike his father, she never said anything about it. She always wanted him to make his own choices, to pursue happiness in a way that didn’t rely on her approval. 

Even now though, he couldn’t escape his need for it. He thought about how happy she would be that he was back in Godric’s Hollow, that he was acting like an adult and working to take care of his father. The idea that she would approve filled him with a warmth that could have kept him going all day. 

He let his thoughts drift as he sat there, and as they were wont to do when left unsupervised, they drifted to Regulus. James embarrassingly wished he was there with him. He imagined Regulus sitting next to him, his thin fingers brushing against James’s as they listened to the water. He shook off the fantasy, abashed by his own thoughts, and impulsively decided to take off his shoes and socks so he could dip them in the water. 

It was freezing cold, so intense that it made his skin hurt, but it was the perfect distraction. He was not thinking about Regulus. He wasn’t. Or if he was, then it was happening against his will, and he wasn’t focusing on it. 

“You're going to lose a toe like that,” someone said behind him. James turned to see Remus standing on the beach, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, a quiet smirk on his face. 

“Maybe I’m trying to,” James said sardonically. 

“Then by all means, don’t let me interrupt you,” Remus said with a chuckle. James smiled widely before dancing out of the water. He shook his feet off in an attempt to dry them, the cold water numbing them painfully, before pulling on his socks and shoes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You know, you’re not the first person to tell me that,” James said joyfully. “Maybe you should try it.” 

Remus smirked. “Maybe next time,” he said. 

“What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?” James added with a wink. Remus laughed loudly. 

“You’re on my rez, remember?” 

“Oh, right,” James said. The two of them started walking back down the shore toward where the fire was burning strong. He spotted two new people hovering next to the flames. 

“Marlene loves coming here,” Remus said. Of course, it was Marlene and Dorcas he was seeing, he should have guessed. 

“Not you and Dorcas?” he asked. Remus shook his head, though there was a fond smile on his face. 

“Neither of us are really the beach types,” he said, “but Dorcas can barely say no to Marlene when she has her heart set on something.”

“What about you? Just tagging along to third wheel with them?” James asked, elbowing Remus in the side. 

“I wish,” Remus said with a loud groan. James shot him a questioning look. “I’ll tell you later,” he said quietly. They were finally walking up to the fire, and Dorcas had just spotted them. 

“Hey, James,” Dorcas said, a wide menacing grin on her face that gave James pause. “Gilderoy was just telling us about your upcoming date.” 

“Oh, right,” James said with a polite chuckle. 

“I didn’t realize you knew people outside of our school,” Gilderoy said, finally standing up, leaving Rita to cross her arms in frustration again. Gilderoy was giving James an unhappy look that looked odd on his usually perfectly smiley face. 

“Oh, yeah, our families are old friends,” he said, gesturing toward Remus. “This is Remus, by the way. And Marlene and Dorcas.” Gilderoy grinned at both of the girls but was still looking at Remus suspiciously. “This is Gilderoy and Rita.” 

Rita eyed Remus up and down for a moment before standing to shake his hand. Remus gave James a surprised look, but James just shrugged. He didn’t pretend to understand Rita’s motivations. 

“Hey guys,” Peter said suddenly. He had just come out of the trees, though Benjy and the two girls were nowhere in sight. 

“Hey, where are the others?” James asked. 

“They ran off ahead of me,” Peter said with a shrug like it didn’t bother him. James could see the way his lips twitched downward though. 

“Oh, well, whatever,” James said. “Come meet my friends.” 

He introduced Peter to the others. Marlene was wearing a band t-shirt that James didn’t recognize, but Peter's eyes lit up the moment he saw it. Immediately the two of them were enraptured with each other, both of them talking excitedly about a tour that was coming to Seattle soon. Dorcas watched on with vague interest, a slight smile on her face as she looked between the two of them. 

“We were about to eat lunch,” Gilderoy said. “Hungry?” He smiled brightly. 

“Yeah, starved,” James said. They crowded around the fire, cooking hot dogs on metal sticks. Peter was supposed to have brought buns and condiments but had forgotten, so they had plain hot dogs for lunch and mildly warm beer. It wasn’t terrible though, James realized. He was having fun. 

“Wow, what did you say you do for a living?” James heard Rita saying, he turned to see her with both of her long-nailed hands curled around Remus’s bicep. Remus was looking at her like a mouse about to be eaten by a snake. 

“I’m a mechanic?” he said, his voice raising like it was a question. 

“Oh, are you?” Rita purred. “You know, I’ve been trying to get some work done on my car.” 

“Right, well, feel free to bring it by,” Remus said with an uncomfortable cough. Rita’s lips were stretched into a predator smile, but James could see the way her eyes glanced over at Gilderoy for a split second. Gilderoy wasn’t paying attention to her, instead, he was smiling at James. He wasn’t saying anything, he was just smiling. 

“Remus, do you want to go for a walk? You were going to show me that… thing down the beach?” James said loudly. Rita glared at James so intensely that he thought she might just outright attack him. 

“That thing?” Remus said softly. James raised his eyebrows. “Oh, right, sure. Let’s go.” He gently pulled his arm out of Rita’s grasp, and she made a small humming noise, like an angry wasp about to strike. 

“Where are you two going?” Gilderoy said, his voice so close to James’s head that James jumped slightly. 

“James is trying to steal Remus away,” Rita said. She spoke the words like they were a joke, a smirk in her voice, but her eyes gave her away. 

“You’re what?” Gilderoy asked. 

“I’m not stealing anyone,” James said good-naturedly, throwing his hands up in surrender. 

“You can’t have Remus too just because Regulus didn’t agree to come,” Rita said just a bit too sharply. 

“You invited Regulus Black?” Gilderoy said. 

“How did you know I invited Regulus?” James said at the same time. Rita’s smirk grew even sharper.

“I didn’t,” Rita said smugly. “Not until you just confirmed it.”

“Why did you invite Regulus?” Gildeory asked, his face twisting with jealousy and annoyance. 

“Did you say Regulus Black?” Dorcas asked, her voice cutting through their conversation. 

“Yeah,” James said. “Do you know him?” He tried his best to keep his voice even, but given the sideways look Remus was giving him, he didn’t think he succeeded. 

“No, of course not,” Dorcas said with a derisive laugh. James tilted his head slightly. 

“That family doesn’t come here,” Marlene said softly. 

“What?” James asked, but Marlene was already turning back to Peter. Dorcas watched James for a long couple of seconds before turning her back on him as well. 

“Come on,” Remus whispered, taking the moment of Rita and Gilderoy’s distraction to pull him away. James followed quickly, the two of them walking down toward the water again. 

“What was that about?” James asked. Remus didn’t answer for a long minute, the two of them walked in silence, the only noises were the sound of water kissing the shore and the rocks shifting beneath their feet. 

“Is Regulus the one that told you it was better if you weren’t friends?” Remus asked finally. He was watching the ground in front of him, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. 

James nearly groaned aloud at the question. “Yes,” he said unhappily. “He practically saved my life and then all of a sudden he was avoiding me like I had the Black Plague. It was so humiliating. Then randomly he started talking to me again, but was all I don’t think we should be friends, I actually wish that van had smushed you to death .” James was doing a poor impression of Regulus’s voice, but he didn’t care. 

“I’m sorry, what happened?” Remus said, alarmed. 

James sighed. “Right, well a few weeks ago I was almost killed when Benjy lost control of his van on a patch of ice. Regulus knocked me out of the way,” James explained. Remus was watching him wide-eyed with panic. 

“That’s insane,” Remus said. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this.”

James shrugged. “It’s fine now, except Regulus is a dick, but he’s also very hot and very distracting.” 

Remus laughed loudly. “Wow, you’re really into this guy, huh?” Remus said, his eyes dancing with mirth. 

“Yes, thank you, that’s very helpful,” James grumbled. 

“Remind me again why you’re supposedly going on a date with that blonde guy?” Remus said, using his thumb to point backward toward Gilderoy. 

James pursed his lips for a second. “I’d rather not talk about it,” James said finally. 

Remus apparently didn’t need an explanation because those words were more than enough. He was practically doubling over with laughter. “Don’t tell me that Gilderoy asked you out in front of Regulus, and you said yes just to make him jealous,” Remus said. 

“How do you even know that?” James asked frantically. 

“I have a brain,” Remus said, still laughing. 

“I hate you,” James said. Remus just shook his head fondly. “What did Marlene mean by that family doesn't come here ?” 

“Marlene does not sound like that,” Remus said, chuckling at James’s impression. James shrugged, giving Remus a look. “I’m really not supposed to say anything.”

“Oh, it’s a secret?”

“Yeah, a tribe secret.”

“You have a tribe secret about Regulus Black’s family?” James asked incredulously. Remus huffed a laugh. 

“Right, it’s just some old legend,” Remus said finally. 

“What kind of legend?” James asked. Remus sighed. 

“It’s really more of a scary story that the elders share every year,” Remus said. He used his foot to kick a few rocks as they kept walking down the shore. The wind was starting to pick up. 

“Okay,” James said slowly. 

“It’s a complicated story, but essentially the Daturachin tribe descended from wolves,” Remus said, eyeing James like he was waiting for him to react, but James just nodded for him to go on. “Every year, they tell the story of a pack of wolves that eventually turned into men.”

“That’s not so scary,” James said evenly. Remus eyed him again, but he was smiling. 

“Then there is the story about the Gelidias,” Remus said quietly. 

“The what?” James asked, hanging onto every word. 

“Gelidias, it comes from the word gelidus, it means cold,” Remus explained. “It’s a legend about flesh-eating monsters. They’re old monsters, apparently just as old as the wolf legends, but unlike the wolf stories they get added to every couple of decades.” 

“Fascinating,” James breathed.

“My great-grandfather claimed to have known one before he died. He said that they look like humans, but they’re not. They never age or die, and they survive by eating people.” 

“Okay, that’s a little scary,” James said, suddenly shivering against the wind. Remus chuckled quietly.

“Yeah, a bit,” Remus conceded. “The way the tribe describes them they sound like aliens or something. They’re supposed to be unnaturally beautiful, but haunting-looking. Then some original tribe members met a group who claimed to live off of animals rather than humans. The legend says that our tribe made a treaty with them that we wouldn’t interfere as long as they stayed off our land.” 

“And what does this all have to do with Regulus?” 

“Well, I said that my great-grandfather claimed to know one, but he’s not the only one. Every couple of decades, it’s like the tribe picks a family or a group of people to assign the role of a Gelidias,” Remus said, shaking his head confusedly. “I don’t know, but whenever the Black family moved into Godric’s Hollow, everyone was suddenly on edge.”

“That’s crazy,” James said with a laugh. Remus nodded in agreement. 

“I know, but when Marlene’s uncle took his dog to the vet office that one of them opened, suddenly they were added to the legend,” Remus said, pausing for a second before continuing on. “And we had to stop going to that vet, which I find frankly ridiculous.” 

“I wonder if they know about it,” James said. 

“That I don’t know,” Remus said. “Seems like a weird conversation to have with someone though.”

“Definitely,” James agreed, he shivered again as a cold breeze blew past them. “Should we head back? It’s getting kind of cold.” He threw his sweater back on quickly as the temperature seemed to drop even further. 

“Yeah, we better,” Remus said, turning around. They hadn’t gone too far, James could still see Peter and Marlene locked into a lively conversation.  

“Oh, what were you going to tell me about Marlene and Dorcas?” James asked. 

Remus stared at him for a second before blinking. “Right, I forgot. So you know how Marlene was offered that position? The one she would have to move for?” 

“Yeah,” James said. 

“Well, they got into this huge blowout fight about it, except neither of them would say it was about that. We were at dinner with all of our parents. It was a mess. Then the next day Marlene showed up at the shop crying and saying that she was turning down the role. That it ‘just wasn’t a good time for it.’” Remus lifted his hands and made air quotes as he spoke. 

“Oh my god,” James groaned. 

“I know,” Remus said with a nod. “Dorcas was livid, said that Marlene was making a mistake not going. Marlene took it super personally and they didn’t speak for like two full days.” James chuckled. “Don’t laugh, that’s a lot for them,” Remus admonished, though he was laughing as well. 

“So much drama,” James said. 

“Yeah, I was this close to banning them from my shop,” he said, placing his fingers an inch away from each other, “at least until they could stop fighting, but then this morning Dorcas showed up with coffee for everyone and acted like nothing happened. Marlene said we should come out here, and Dorcas agreed, and, well, here we are.” 

“Indeed,” James agreed. 

“Good walk?” Gilderoy said loudly right as they walked up to the fire. He was smiling again, as he so often was, but he was somehow glaring at the same time. 

“Yep,” James said, choosing to ignore the look he was getting. “The others still not back?”

“No, I wonder what happened to them?” Rita said, looking off into the forest like they would just show up. 

“Frank and Alice are probably off making out somewhere,” Peter said. 

Just as he said the words it was like the sky fell. Suddenly they were drenched in rain, the downpour falling like a wall on top of them. 

“Get back to the cars!” Gilderoy shouted before taking off. They all moved to follow him, James slipping dangerously on the rocks, though Remus reached out to steady him. 

Frank and Alice ran up a second later, though James hadn’t seen which direction they came from. Both of them, along with Peter, Marlene, Dorcas, and Remus all helped James pile the chairs and coolers together to drag everything back to the cars. 

Benjy and the other two girls were nowhere in sight so they threw everything into the trunk of Gilderoy’s SUV. Gilderoy and Rita were already sitting in the front seat, the car on and the heater running. 

“Bye James, get home safe,” Remus yelled as he, Marlene, and Dorcas ran off toward his truck. 

“See you!” James shouted back, before getting into the SUV. Frank and Alice had climbed into the back seat, and James jumped into the seat next to Peter in the middle row. “Everyone all right?”

“NO!” Rita said loudly, causing James to jump slightly. “My hair is ruined.”

“I didn’t even realize it was going to rain today,” Gilderoy said. 

“It wasn’t supposed to,” Peter said. James turned to ask Frank and Alice where they had been all day, but he paused when he noticed the way they were looking at each other. They were both facing forward, but glancing at one another every couple of seconds, their cheeks flushed. James turned back to Peter. 

“Where are Benjy and the others?” James asked. 

Peter looked nervous all of a sudden. “I don’t know,” he said. “I haven’t seen them since they abandoned me on the trail.”

“Do you think they’re okay?” James asked. The car fell silent, all of them seemed to be staring out into the rain, watching the tree line. The story of the Gelidias, the human-eating monsters, kept repeating in James’s head. It wasn’t real, he knew that, but at the same time, what if something had happened to them? What if the Gelidias were actually a metaphor for bears or something, and Benjy and the others had been attacked?

Just as he was beginning to grow panicked, the three of them broke through the trees, sprinting toward his van. Benjy waved at them in acknowledgment before climbing in. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Rita said once everyone was safely in the van beside them. 

“Yeah, sounds good,” Gilderoy agreed. 

Chapter Text

James worked all day Sunday. He had slept poorly the night before and drifted through the day in a daze. The shop was mostly empty, with only a few patrons coming in during the long hours he spent sitting behind the counter. James was vaguely wondering how they managed to stay in business when twenty minutes till closing a man who looked to be about forty came in and bought nearly a thousand dollars worth of supplies. 

“Oh, like that,” James said to himself as he was locking up. He wondered how many rich people came out here totally unprepared and would spend too much money at these little shops. 

Sunday night brought with it a storm and another dream. 

This one started very similarly to the last one. James was flat against a wall, his knees weak beneath him. Regulus was touching him, wrapping his cold, thin fingers around James’s cock. His lips brushed against James’s jaw, lingering there like a hummingbird. James wished that Regulus would press the length of his body against his, but all he could feel were lips and fingertips. 

“Ah, please,” James groaned quietly, his voice muffled and distorted like something was blocking his mouth  

“Easy,” Regulus said, his voice deep and rumbly. He drifted down James’s neck, his cold lips soft and pillowy against his skin. It was at the juncture between his neck and shoulder that Regulus’s teeth came into play. 

At first, it was just a small nip, pulling at his skin lightly as his fingers tightened around James’s length. James groaned again. His hands felt heavy and stiff though he longed to reach out and touch, grab, and devour. Regulus grazed his teeth back and forth along James’s skin, the feeling sharp and intoxicating. 

“More,” James begged. 

One moment it was pleasure, and then next he was screaming. Regulus’s teeth dug into the skin of his shoulder, piercing farther and farther into his flesh, his muscle, his bone, and tearing. James woke from his nightmare disoriented and covered in sweat, his arms flinging out around him in a panic. He opened his eyes, trying to take in his surroundings as quickly as possible. 

His gaze settled on Regulus who stood against the far wall of his bedroom watching him. James couldn’t make out his face without his glasses on, but he could see the shape of him. His skin was lit up by the faint streetlamp light that filtered in through the window.

James shouted in surprise and rubbed his eyes furiously. When he opened them, Regulus was gone. Just a leftover vision from his lingering nightmare. He wiped his eyes again, the sweat burning them slightly, before blinking repeatedly to clear his vision and throwing on his glasses. 

He flopped back on the bed, his arms stretched out in either direction. He was panting slightly, and he could feel his heart racing under his skin. The pain where Regulus had bitten still stung like an old wound that twinged a bit when it rained. He rubbed the spot on his shoulder with one hand, breathing out a sigh of relief when all he found was unmarked skin. 

It took him a long few minutes to slow his heartbeat enough to fall back asleep, or at least relax back in the bed. The rain was heavy and loud against the window and roof, and now that he was awake, it kept infecting his thoughts, keeping him from rest. By the time James drifted back to sleep, it was already starting to lighten outside, the sun peeking up over the horizon.  

When his alarm jolted him awake a bit later, James huffed unhappily. He heavily considered staying in bed all day and not going to classes. He was exhausted, and his eyes hurt when he tried to open them all the way. He finally managed to pull himself up, and he hated the fact that he knew exactly who what motivated him to do it. 

His father was up and cooking when James entered the kitchen that morning. James could smell the faint scent of burning potatoes and garlic. 

“Dad?” he called curiously. 

“Morning,” Fleamont said turning to smile at James. “It’s nice today.” He pointed to the window behind the sink with his spatula. He wasn’t lying, the sun was shining brightly outside, nearly blinding compared to the constant overcast. The loud storm last night must have been the tail end of the most recent string of overcast days. 

“What are you making?” James asked uncertainly, trying to get a better look at whatever was burning on the stove. 

“Home fries,” he answered cheerfully before his smile faltered slightly. “I made some eggs, but they weren’t great.” He shrugged, embarrassed. 

James tucked his lips in to hold back a laugh. “Have you tried turning down the heat a bit?” 

“Good idea, good idea,” his father muttered, turning the nob slightly. James was pretty sure the home fries were already too crispy to be edible, but he refrained from saying so. If his father was going to the trouble to make food for himself, then James wasn’t going to discourage him. 

“I’ve got to head to school,” James said quickly, already throwing his bag over his shoulder. “See you tonight.”

“Oh, okay,” Fleamont said, sounding vaguely disappointed. 

“Save me any leftovers, I’ll eat them later,” James said. His father smiled again and nodded. James would have to make sure to throw them out discreetly tonight before they grew mold in the back of the fridge. 

He drove to school with his windows rolled down and the radio blaring. He no longer felt tired, the sunshine waking him up and making him feel invigorated. He hummed along to the radio though he didn’t recognize the song, he was pretty sure it was some local artist given the way the local radio host gushed about them. 

His morning classes were easy and passed quickly, it was a relief as he was excited to get to lunch, for no particular reason. Gilderoy threw an arm around him the moment he walked into the cafeteria, a wide smile on his face. 

“Hey Jamie,” Gilderoy said. James flinched slightly. No one had called him Jamie in a very long time, and he didn’t know how he felt about Gilderoy using the nickname. 

“Uh, hey,” James replied uncertainly. It was because of Gilderoy’s distraction that James didn’t notice until he was sitting at his usual table that Regulus wasn’t there. In fact, no one in his family was there. Their lunch table was empty, all the seats were still pushed in. Disappointment curled in his stomach. 

“— for tomorrow?” Gilderoy said, James only catching the tail end of what he said.

“Sorry?” James asked. 

“I asked if you’re excited for tomorrow?” Gilderoy raised his eyebrows twice in quick succession like he was trying to impart some hidden meaning. 

“Um,” James said a bit awkwardly. “Yeah, of course.” 

James really, really shouldn’t have said yes. He had been regretting it since he said he would go, and now that he was a day away he was dreading it. Especially since Regulus wasn’t even here to get jealous. Not that that was what James was trying to do. 

“I was thinking I would swing by around four. That way we have time to drive out?” Gilderoy said. 

“Oh, yeah, sounds good,” James said evenly. Gilderoy nodded before turning away from him to talk to the others at the table, but James didn’t mind. He looked back over the empty table where Regulus should be. 

“They’re not coming,” Peter said quietly. 

“Huh?” James said, dragging his eyes away from the table. Peter was watching him with something akin to pity. It made his skin crawl. 

“Regulus and the others, they never come on nice days like this,” Peter said. “At least, they didn’t last semester.”

“Why not?” James asked. 

“Apparently they love to go camping,” Frank jumped to say. “Lily told me that whenever it’s sunny, they play hooky and go out hiking and camping in the area.” 

“Oh,” James said. “That’s fun — I guess.” Frank and Peter shared a smile. James had to turn away from them. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe them, he could tell that they were telling the truth, but he still felt a horrible despondency when he walked into Biology and his table was empty. Gilderoy chattered away next to him, but James just tuned him out. He didn’t require responses to continue talking anyway. 

The rest of the day dragged, and by the time he was headed home, the exhaustion from his sleepless night settled into his bones and caused him to drift aimlessly. The house was empty when he got back, and there was a note on the fridge from his father that said he had gone to the store and would be back later. He must have been having an unusually good day. James wondered if his father’s health would improve if he moved somewhere that sunny all year round. 

James tried to work on homework for a bit, but he was just too restless. He walked out onto the back porch. The backyard was well-kept and organized. His mother used to pay someone to come take care of it for them when they first moved in, and James was pretty sure that his father just kept paying the man after his mother passed away. There was no way his father was keeping up with all the yard work. 

The yard had once had a chain-link fence around it, but his mother had torn it down the moment they bought the house. James could still hear her voice, faint and cracking slightly through their terrible home phone. 

“Fences are only needed if you have a dog,” she said conversationally. “We don’t have a dog. And it’s not likely your father’s going to get lost if we don’t have a fence up.”

“Well, what if you decide to get a dog?” James asked with a laugh. 

“Then we can buy a new fence,” she said also chuckling. “The old one is an eyesore anyway. Chain fences are not meant to last that long.” 

James shook his head. The yard still looked faintly like the fence posts were still there, rocks had once been shoved under the fencing and now kept grass and moss from growing correctly in the area. James related to those empty strips of yard, he felt the absence of all his pain like an indent that never faded. 

He grabbed a warm jacket from inside and decided to walk around the yard. It was far too big for the tiny house. In the far back corner, there was an overgrown trailhead that led into the forest. Curious, James decided to follow the half-formed trail. He only had to take a few long strides on the path before the house and yard were completely gone, the forest so thick that without the trail he would have been instantly lost. 

He wondered how many people had ventured out into the forests of Godric’s Hollow never to be seen again, who had gotten lost a few feet from the road but were impossible to find given the thick greenery. It unsettled him, but in the way that huge waves and daunting mountains did. Like he was terrified to encounter them, but he desperately needed to know more. 

He walked along the trail for a good half hour, stumbling every now and again on the vines and rocks that littered the pathway, before reaching a fork in the trail. To the left was an even darker part of the forest, it looked like the sun barely ever reached the ground under the canopy of trees. To the right, the trail curved around as if to head back into town, back to the road and the neighborhood where James lived. He looked between them for a while, stuck with the opportunity of making a decision. 

In the end, he chose neither path. It was getting late, and he hadn’t thought to bring a flashlight. He didn’t want to actually get lost, so he decided to head back. He wondered if that choice meant something — if it said something about the type of person he was, searching for the familiar and the safe rather than choosing between two unknowns. 

On the trek back, he had the distinct feeling he was being watched and would constantly look over his shoulders to check if anyone was around. By the time he made it back to the yard, he had formed a full paranoid fantasy about being tracked through the woods by a grizzly bear. The memory of teeth digging into his flesh an added horror to that thought. 

He made it back just as his father was returning home and spent a while making dinner for the two of them while his father sat out on the back porch. Afterward, a friend from New York called, and he was able to waste nearly an hour of his night with the distraction. He found that he missed New York less than he did a few weeks ago, though he worried why that might be. 

He felt restless after the call. He was hoping to go to bed or perhaps finish some of his work so that he didn’t have to do it all tomorrow, but he couldn’t focus. Instead, he found himself at his computer searching up the word Gelidias, the term Remus had used. 

He found a bit about the etymology of the word, but when he searched alongside the Daturachin tribe his results were extremely limited. The only useful thing that came up was a reference to a book written by a member of the tribe several decades prior. James tried to find an online version of it, but the best he could do was to locate a tiny bookstore in Hogsmeade that had a few copies in store. 

Well, he figured, he already had to go book shopping there tomorrow on his date with Gilderoy, so what was the harm in planning to stop by another bookstore? He was curious about the term and wanted to read up on it. He wrote down the name and vague location of it and finally was able to go to bed, comforted by the knowledge that at least he would know more tomorrow. 

James didn’t dream that night and he woke disappointed. If he couldn’t see Regulus at school, the least he could do was dream of the man, even if his dreams were nightmares where he ended up torn open like an animal about to be devoured. He lazed around the house for most of the morning, already dreading that evening. By noon, he was bored out of his mind and decided to go grocery shopping before finally finishing his classwork. 

Around three, he took a long shower, letting the hot water preemptively wash away the feelings of shame he had for going out with a man he didn’t even like as a friend. He was already embarrassed, and the date hadn’t even started yet. He groaned when he got out, dressing himself sluggishly and stomping down the stairs to wait. 

“Hot date?” his father asked sarcastically when he saw him. 

“Yes,” James answered unhappily. “You’ll be on your own for dinner, that okay?”

“I did feed myself successfully before you moved here, you know,” Fleamont said, though his voice was light and unbothered. 

“Successfully,” James repeated disbelievingly. He sat down on the couch at about ten to four and turned on the TV, his father sitting next to him. He sank into the piece of furniture, drumming his fingers impatiently on the armrest as he stared vacantly at the television. He barely noticed the passage of time, the clock ticking away as more and more dread pooled in James’s stomach. 

His father clearing his throat shook him out of his haze. “What time did you say your date was?” Fleamont asked curiously. 

“I didn’t,” James mumbled. “He’s supposed to pick me up at four, though.”

“Oh, do you think he’s alright, then?” 

“Huh?” James asked. His father gestured to the clock which now read 4:30. He checked his phone, but Gilderoy hadn’t called or texted. “Oh, maybe he just got caught up doing something.”

His father gave him a sideways look but didn’t comment, turning back to the TV. It was nearly five when James heard a car pull up outside followed by three loud honks. 

“Quite the gentleman,” his father said quietly. James ignored him and got up to leave. 

“See you later,” James shouted over his shoulder. 

“Should I expect you home?” his father asked offhandedly. James’s cheeks flushed brightly. 

“Yes, definitely,” he said and fled the house. 

Gilderoy was grinning at him from the driver's seat. James climbed in, still unsure of whether he wanted to even bother to ask where Gilderoy had been and why he was late. Honestly, he had been hoping that Gilderoy wouldn’t show up at all, but alas, here he was. 

“Hey, Jamie!” Gilderoy greeted. James tried to smile at him, but he was pretty sure it looked more like a grimace. 

The entire car reeked of cheap cologne, and James sneezed immediately, having just shut the door. There was loud jazz playing out of the speakers, and James could already tell that he was going to have a terrible migraine by the end of the night. It was the same SUV that Gilderoy had taken to the lake a few days prior, and it was still muddy and messy on the inside, though at least all the mud was dry. 

“Buckle up, we’ve got a bit of a drive,” Gilderoy said with a smirk before throwing the car into drive and taking off, not even waiting for James to fully buckle his seatbelt. 

It only took seven minutes — James counted — for a headache to form behind his eyes. Gilderoy chattered on throughout the drive, not even requiring so much of a noise of acknowledgment from James to continue speaking. Not to mention that the jazz playing was just a bit too loud, and he wasn’t able to fully hear what Gilderoy was saying. Regardless, James listened idly, gazing out the window as they drove. 

It took them nearly an hour and a half to reach Hogsmeade, meaning it was already 6:30 p.m. by the time Gilderoy parked his SUV on the street in the center of town, spending a comical amount of time poorly parallel parking in the spot between two cars. James did his best not to laugh.  

Hogsmeade wasn’t exactly a big town, but compared to Godric’s Hollow, it may as well be New York City. 

The main bookstore that James needed to go to was just a block or two away from where they parked, but there were two others in town, one that he planned to go to if the main one didn’t have all his books in stock, and the other one out on the edge of town where he could purchase the book on Gelidias. 

The town itself was very pretty. The sun was setting already, but the streets were very well-lit. The town was decorated with large stringed lights that swept between street lamps, and tall trees that the stores had clearly been built around towered over the sidewalks. It felt like a mountain town, but in a way that was populated and touristy. The streets weren’t very packed, but James could see a few couples and families walking around in between shops and restaurants. 

The oddest thing was the amount of noise that seemed to come from the town itself. Each of the shops’ doors were propped open, music and talking pouring out of them giving the town a feel like it was alive and breathing. James liked it, it felt comforting. Godric’s Hollow could feel so empty and isolated sometimes. 

“Dinner first?” Gilderoy asked. 

“Um,” James said, “I better get book shopping out of the way first, I’m not sure when these places close.” 

Gilderoy pouted for a second before nodding. “Right, lead the way.”

They climbed out of the car, walking the short two blocks to the largest bookstore in town. James had checked ahead, and their website had said they had all his books in stock, but he was out of luck. It took him half an hour to look for each of them, Gilderoy abandoning him to the search the moment they walked in the door. At the end of his list, there was still one missing. 

He purchased the ones he was able to find and wandered around looking for Gilderoy, wondering vaguely if he might have left, but eventually, he heard a loud voice booming from the front of the store. Gilderoy was leaning near the door, talking to two young women who were clearly flirting with him. One of them had pale pink hair and was twirling it around her finger as she batted her eyelashes at the man. James almost wanted to send him on his way with the two of them. 

James rolled his eyes. It was good that he didn’t actually care about Gilderoy, otherwise, his feelings might have been hurt. Gilderoy looked up at him the moment he caught sight of James’s approaching form. 

“Done?” Gilderoy asked, a guilty look flashing across his face, though he quickly covered it. 

“Almost. I need to go visit another store, I’m still missing one,” James said. 

Gilderoy groaned. “How important is it really?” he asked. James’s grin tightened, but he didn’t let it fall. 

“Pretty important,” James said, walking out of the store and out onto the darkened street, leaving Gilderoy to scramble after him. 

“Well, how far is this place?" Gilderoy asked.

“Not far,” James answered patiently. Gilderoy huffed. “You’re welcome to wait for me here. I can meet up with you in a bit after I pick up my last book.”

“Yes, sounds good,” Gilderoy said quickly. James really shouldn’t have been surprised, but somehow when he noticed Gilderoy striding off toward an expensive-looking clothing shop, he couldn’t help the small gasp that left his mouth. 

“Honestly,” James muttered to himself and started the short trek to the second bookstore. He found the textbook he was looking for quickly, stuffing it into his already heavy bag of books. 

He checked the time, only about 7:15 p.m., Gilderoy could afford to spend a bit more time alone. He didn't want to bother walking back to find him just to hurry off to the tiny, independent bookstore on the edge of town. He vowed to go quickly. 

It wasn’t a terribly long walk, though it was farther than either of the other two were. The town’s shops were built close together, with tight, poorly built alleys between each one. As he made his way toward the outskirts of town, the buildings began to spread out a bit more, the street lamps became more infrequent. There were houses and apartments a few streets away in either direction, but the roads he walked on were mostly empty.

It was odd how quickly it all thinned out, nearly all the people he had seen earlier disappearing from view, the inner-town sounds quieting the farther he walked. The bookstore was up a small trail lit only by small solar-powered lights half buried in the ground. If he didn’t already know what he was looking for, he would have missed it. The sign out front at the edge of the trail was mostly covered by overgrown trees. 

The bookstore itself appeared to be built out of an old house. It was tiny but warm and cozy. James found the book he was looking for right away and purchased it, the cashier, a young teenager with cropped black hair, gave him a very odd look before James headed back out the door to go find Gilderoy. He thought about calling him, letting him know that he was on his way, but decided against it. He would see him soon regardless. 

Then they would continue on their date. James sighed. He resolved to be kind and patient with Gilderoy, it wasn’t exactly his fault that James said yes. There would be no second date, and that was the only thing keeping him going. He wondered if Gilderoy would try to kiss him. James felt like he was already cringing at the rejection he would have to deliver. That or let Gilderoy kiss him, he didn’t think he would enjoy that. 

His bag full of books was heavy and weighed him down as he walked. He kept thinking about how excited he was that he now had something of value that he could use to research the story Remus shared with him. He hoped the book would provide some context about why Regulus’s family might be chosen as the Gelidias. 

There was a prickling at the back of his neck every time he thought about the way members of Remus’s tribe wouldn’t go to the vet office in Godric’s Hollow because they thought the vet was a menacing creature. He hadn’t met Regulus’s brother, but he doubted he was that intimidating. 

There was no way that the legend was real. Although, there was something odd about Regulus, wasn’t there? How else could he move so quickly? How could he be so strong? Still, there wasn’t any way that a creature of legend would be attending a community college in a random small town. That was just a ridiculous thought. 

He didn’t pay attention to his surroundings as he slowly walked back to the center of town. He knew the way, having just walked it, and didn’t feel like he needed to be that aware. That was why it took him far longer than normal to realize he was being followed. 

He first spotted the group of men a block over from him as he was ambling down the sidewalk. He could spot them through the alleys as they walked perpendicular to him. He was just barely able to hear the sounds from town as he got closer, but suddenly the voices of the group of men were much louder, drowning out the town's sounds. James had looked away from them and didn’t notice them move onto his street. They were behind him now. 

He looked over his shoulder but looked away quickly. They were probably just heading into town just as he was. Still, he felt a little unnerved by them. He couldn’t be sure, but he felt like the group behind him was smaller than the one he had seen on the opposite street. A few of them must have left, that was probably why. 

He walked a few more blocks, the men behind him inching closer. They had been talking loudly to one another earlier, but now they were silent. James was almost back in town though, only five or so blocks, and he could hear the noise increasing. 

He turned down one of the small, poorly built alleyways to get to the opposite street. The lots for each building were uneven, so the alley was tilted, forcing him to hobble awkwardly down the path. He was halfway down it when he realized the men behind him had also turned down it. 

James sighed quietly trying to calm his now racing heart. He was probably about to get mugged. He should have realized. It happened to him once a couple of months after he first moved to New York, a man pulled a knife on him and demanded that he hand over his wallet and phone. James had, his hands shaking the entire time. He didn’t have any money on him, he barely had any money to his name at all during that period of his life, but the guy made off with his metro card which was honestly the most annoying part. That and the way he was skittish about walking alone for weeks afterward. 

He cataloged what he had on him now. His cellphone, of course, and his wallet which only had about a hundred bucks in cash. Everything else could be replaced. Of course, he had the heavy bag of books which they probably thought was something very valuable. He sped up as much as he could in the awkward space, deciding that once he made it out onto the street he would take off running. Maybe if he made it back to the town center where other people were around, they would leave him alone. 

He should have been paying closer attention. 

He had forgotten about the fact that the group used to be bigger. He hadn’t realized where those other men went. As he came right to the mouth of the alley, a fist suddenly collided with the side of his face so hard that his head flung back and smacked into the side of the building with a loud crack. 

“Ah!” James shouted, using one hand against the brick to keep himself upright. “What?” 

He barely had time to open his eyes before he was hit again for the second time. His vision blurred, his glasses shifting on his face before dropping to the ground. 

“Stop,” he said, lifting a hand to block the person but another fist came from a different direction and hit him in the stomach hard. He doubled over, dropping his bag of books. Someone kneed him in the chest, and he crumbled to the filthy ground. 

There were too many of them to fight off. He was dizzy, and he expected more hits to come. What he didn’t expect was the sound of tires screeching or the sudden noise of something cracking. 

“Let’s get out here!” one of them shouted. He heard footsteps pounding against the pavement. 

“James,” a melodious voice said a moment later. Suddenly cold fingers were brushing against his skin as his glasses were placed against his face. 

He opened his eyes and gasped. “Regulus?” 

Chapter Text

Regulus manhandled James into his car before he said a word in response. James went willingly, stumbling slightly once he was upright. He gasped in pain as he moved, a bruise already forming on his abdomen, and Regulus’s strong hands tightened slightly. Not painfully, but enough for James to know that Regulus had heard him. 

James fell into the passenger seat. His head was spinning, his vision slightly blurred. He wondered if he had another concussion. It would be just his luck to get a second one only a few weeks after the first. It was dark in the car when Regulus shut the door behind him, the windows heavily tinted. The car smelled fresh and clean, and faintly like Regulus which James found inexplicably calming, his racing heart settling into a comfortable gallop. His hands shook slightly as he fixed his glasses. He was thankful that they weren’t broken. 

A moment later, Regulus was opening the driver’s side door and climbing in, gracefully as always, a stark difference from the way James always seemed to bumble around. His stomach clenched with some emotion that he couldn’t be bothered to decipher at the moment. Regulus was deadly silent, and James was having trouble processing everything that had just happened. 

Regulus threw the car into reverse, backing up quickly into the empty street. 

“My books,” James mumbled, staring down at his empty hands. 

“I got them,” Regulus said. A second later they took off down the road at a speed that was way too fast for the town streets that they were on. James’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking, trembling helplessly as adrenaline coursed through him. He gripped the seat beneath him, trying to steady himself. “Buckle your seatbelt,” Regulus said coldly. 

James hurried to obey, finally noticing the hard look of anger on Regulus’s face as he stared down the road in front of them. They had made it out of town, the streetlights growing few and far between as the road was engulfed in trees on both sides. It was like traveling into another dimension, one of comfortably dark forests and thick greenery, one without dangerous men who would gang up on one person just to hurt them. James watched the way Regulus’s anger danced across his face, doing a full routine, showing off for the crowd. 

“Are you okay?” James asked. Regulus scoffed quickly, the noise coming out before James was even fully finished speaking. 

“Am I okay?” Regulus asked quietly, saying it like he was talking to himself. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” James answered automatically. He meant it, though he wondered if later he would panic about what happened, if he was just burying his emotions right now, and they would swamp him the moment he was alone. 

Regulus suddenly yanked the car over to the side of the road, coming to a stop quickly and smoothly despite their fast speed. He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that James thought it might dent beneath his long, white fingers. He wasn’t looking at James at all. 

“Are you upset with me?” James asked stupidly. He sounded like a child who had just been scolded by their parents. 

“What were you doing out there by yourself?” Regulus snapped. He still didn’t turn to look at James. James wished he would. 

“I had to go to a bookstore,” James said. “I didn’t think Hogsmeade would be so dangerous.”

“It’s not,” Regulus said. “It’s you. You seem to attract danger.” His voice was a growl in his throat, so low that it caused James to shiver violently. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” James said. Regulus finally turned to him, but he was glaring. “Not badly,” he corrected. “Were you just in the area?”

Regulus’s eyebrows twitched slightly, but he didn’t respond. 

“How did you see us? Were you in the area?” James repeated. It felt like there was cotton in his head, words filtering through slowly and disjointedly. Regulus shook his head and looked away, his jaw clenching tightly. James found his eyes trailing down the sharp jawline, swallowing harshly. Regulus clenched his eyes closed. 

“Distract me, please,” Regulus said quietly. 

“What?” James asked, drawing his eyes away from Regulus’s beautiful jaw. 

“Just talk to me about something. Distract me,” Regulus replied. James didn’t quite understand the request, but he wasn’t about to deny him anything. 

“I think Frank and Alice are going to end up married,” James said. 

“Why?” Regulus asked.

“He’s had a crush on her forever, and she’s clearly very into him. Honestly, I don’t know how they haven’t gotten together before now, but I guess both of them are just a bit too awkward. Frank is a catch though, and they look great together. They better invite me to the wedding considering what I’ve done for them. I mean they’ve barely been on one date, but I know it’s coming. Plus they seem the type, don’t they?” 

Regulus didn’t respond, but his lips twitched slightly like he was trying to hold in a laugh. 

“Why do you want me to distract you?” James asked quietly. 

“Because I want to go back and murder those men, but I cannot do that right now. It would be too suspicious.” 

“Murder them?” James replied faintly. He noticed the way Regulus added the right-now qualifier, like he was going to kill them regardless. “You can’t kill them.”

“Yes, I can,” Regulus responded. “But you don’t need to worry about that.” 

“What?” James squeaked. “Don’t need to worry — how can I not worry?” 

“Why do you care what happens to them?” Regulus breathed. 

“Well, I don’t, but —” James cut off when he was interrupted by his stomach growling loudly. 

“Haven’t you eaten yet?” Regulus demanded, speaking the question like an accusation.

“No,” James said uncomfortably, feeling once again like a scolded child, though he had no idea why. “I was supposed to eat with Gilderoy, but I wanted to go to the bookstore first.” 

Regulus’s fingers tightened again, his eyes narrowing menacingly. Suddenly, they were swinging around in a tight U-turn and racing back into town, so fast that James felt like he was on the run from the cops. The streetlights flashed past the car like they were driving down the highway. When they made it to the denser part of town, Regulus slowed, but not by much. He was still weaving in between cars, though he moved the car expertly like it was second nature to him. 

They pulled up in front of a quaint Italian food restaurant that James hadn’t noticed before. It was a few short blocks down from Gilderoy’s car. It was tucked between two shops, the entrance appearing more like an alley than anything. If he hadn’t been looking for it, he would have missed the tiny wooden sign that hung above the door, swinging back and forth as light wind swept through the town. 

“ I Tre Manici di Scopa ,” James read out loud. Or tried to, he was pretty sure that he butchered the words. “Why are we —” Before he could finish the sentence, Regulus was opening the door and rising out of the car, shutting the door firmly behind him and cutting James off. 

James watched him walk around the front of the car, his back rigid like he was readying himself for a fight. James scrambled to get out of the car, huffing out a pained breath when he twisted slightly wrong. He put his hand on the door handle right as Regulus came around and swung open the door. 

“What are we doing here?” James asked, standing up and walking onto the sidewalk. Regulus didn’t answer him, but instantly turned to the restaurant door just as it opened, the sounds of laughter and quiet talking spilling out of the old doorway. Gilderoy emerged through the open doorway suddenly. 

“Oh! There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Gilderoy said. He was smiling brightly, as he usually did, but his eyes looked caught. Behind him, the two women from the first bookstore walked out of the restaurant, one of them immediately smirking when she noticed James standing there. 

“What’s going on?” James asked though the answer was clear. 

“Well, you see, I was quite hungry and I didn’t know when you would be back,” Gilderoy explained dismissively. “But you’re here now! We could —” It wasn’t until that moment that Gilderoy seemed to register that James wasn’t alone. “Uh, Black,” he greeted uncomfortably. 

“Lockhart,” Regulus replied stonily. The women were now staring at Regulus open-mouthed. He didn’t blame them, there was no competition between Gilderoy and Regulus. 

“What is he doing here?” Gilderoy asked, turning to look at James. 

“I was busy picking up your date while you were apparently finding his replacement,” Regulus explained. If Regulus had asked James to fall to his knees and beg for him right in the middle of Hogsmeade’s town square at that very second, James would have done it. 

“It wasn’t a replacement,” Gilderoy said, though his words were the equivalent of an eye roll, dismissive and annoyed. 

“It’s fine,” James said. “Let’s just go.”

“No,” Regulus said sternly. All four of them turned to look at him, the two women with Gilderoy seemingly hanging around to watch the show. “James hasn’t eaten yet. I’ll take him home.”

“But he’s my —”

“Italian okay?” Regulus asked James, his voice sickly sweet. James didn't care at all, just nodding dumbly, and then following Regulus into the restaurant. 

“Um, see you at school,” James said awkwardly over his shoulder at Gilderoy who was standing there looking flabbergasted, as if going out to dinner with two other people while James was being attacked would somehow end with a second date. 

“Two, please,” Regulus said softly once they were inside. James’s head was still spinning, too much happening in one hour for him to fully comprehend. 

“It’s okay if you just want to leave,” James said. “I know it’s getting late.” He would rather be skinned alive than give up the opportunity to eat dinner with Regulus, but he couldn’t stop himself from giving the man an out. Regulus looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world. 

“I’m not taking you home before dinner,” Regulus said. 

“Right this way,” the hostess said. She had stunning, blonde hair that fell like perfectly formed waves around her face. She was eyeing Regulus like she might swoop in and devour him if James dared to look away for even a second. 

“Come along,” Regulus said to James before following the hostess deeper into the restaurant. James had no choice but to follow. Not that he would make a different choice if he could. If Regulus wanted him to follow, then that was what James was going to do. 

The restaurant was beautiful. There were almost no windows, and the walls were all painted a dark green, the rooms lit only by candles and a few sconces here and there. All of the tables were small and tucked away so that they each had privacy. It had an intimate feel, the perfect place for a date. Not that he and Regulus were on a date. He had just abandoned his original date. Regulus was just being polite, making sure he didn’t go home hungry. 

“Will this work?” the hostess asked, her voice like a purr. She didn’t even look at James. It made sense. They didn’t exactly look well-matched. Though James had dressed well for his date, Regulus still outmatched him in his expensive black sweater and tailored slacks. The shoes he was wearing looked like they cost more than James’s truck. Not to mention that he was beyond gorgeous. James didn’t think he was bad-looking exactly, but compared to Regulus, he probably looked like an inbred cow. 

“This is perfect,” Regulus said with a polite smile. 

“Great, your waiter will be right with you, but please, let me know if you need anything,” she said with a smirk. Regulus didn’t even watch her leave, his eyes on James as he pulled out his chair, and then sat across from him. 

James opened one of the menus that she had placed on his table. Regulus just set his to the side. “Are you not going to order anything?” James asked, uncertainly. 

“No, I’m not,” Regulus replied matter of factly. 

“We don’t have to eat here,” James said, suddenly feeling very unsure of himself. “I have food at home.”

“James,” Regulus said. “You’re eating here.” He spoke with so much authority that James felt like it would be rude, and life-threatening, to disobey. 

“Okay,” James mumbled, his face blazing bright red as he looked back down at his menu. He just barely caught the slight smirk that spread across Regulus’s lips, though he was doing his best to ignore it. 

“Hi, how are we doing tonight?” a man said suddenly. Their waiter was much like the hostess, impossibly hot, and by the way he looked at Regulus, well informed on who their guest was. His dark hair was expertly styled on the top of his head, falling in flattering curls around his eyes. James felt a pang of jealousy, wishing he could manage his hair like that. “Can I get you started with something to drink?” 

Regulus glanced at the man for a fleeting second before turning expectant eyes on James. “Just water is fine,” James mumbled. The waiter barely even looked at him. 

“Water as well for me,” Regulus said, before flashing the brightest grin that James had ever seen. Their waiter blinked twice, his face going slack before he seemed to shake himself out of it and walked away. 

James smiled slightly, shaking his head as he did so. “Poor guy.” Regulus raised his eyebrows questioning. “You shouldn’t do that to people, it’s not polite,” James admonished jokingly. 

“Do what?” Regulus asked, his lips twitching. 

“Dazzle people,” James muttered, looking back down at his menu, though he wasn’t able to read it. 

Regulus let out a musical laugh. James reveled in it. It was the first time he had made a genuine face that wasn’t pure rage or annoyance all night. 

“Do I dazzle you?” Regulus asked bluntly with a half smile tugging at his perfectly formed lips. 

James rolled his eyes, just barely stopping himself from answering with “all the time.” It wouldn’t do to give Regulus more of an upper hand given how much he had already. 

“No, of course not,” James said, avoiding eye contact. He was pretty sure his face was on fire. He could practically feel Regulus’s grin. 

“If you say so,” Regulus said. They fell into silence for a few minutes after that, but it was comfortable. James was finally able to calm down enough so that he could read the menu in front of him. 

The handsome waiter came by a moment later to give them their drinks and take their order. James ordered a simple pasta dish, and Regulus didn’t order anything. “Are you sure?” the waiter asked. “You can always call me over if you change your mind.” He gave him a flirtatious smile that Regulus missed completely, not even looking at him. 

James grabbed his water and took a long swallow, the icy liquid locking his mind back into his body. He hadn’t noticed how numb he felt until suddenly the numbness fled. He was aching slightly, and he would definitely be sore tomorrow. He took another long sip of water, letting the water baptize him from the inside out. He shivered slightly with it. 

“Are you cold?” Regulus asked, his gray eyes piercing the way they tracked every minute movement of James’s face. 

“It’s just the water,” James said, shifting in his seat. He sighed quietly as the ache settled further into his muscles. Regulus sneered slightly, but it didn’t seem pointed. 

“Are you sure?” Regulus asked after a beat of silence. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” James said. Regulus’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t give me that look.” He was helpless against any look from Regulus, but he especially didn’t want to face his ire right now. 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “What look?” he asked, sounding annoyed. 

Their waiter appeared next to them and set a basket of bread in front of them, giving Regulus a smile and lingering for a second too long before leaving again. Regulus used one thin finger to push it toward James. 

“Your eyes are so light today,” James said thoughtlessly as he picked up and tore off a piece of warm bread, popping it into his mouth. 

“It’s the lighting,” Regulus said automatically. 

“Right, the low candle lighting, why didn’t I think of that?” James grumbled. 

“Just eat your bread,” Regulus huffed with another eye roll. He didn’t seem as angry as he did earlier, but he was still watching James with a slight furrow to his brows. He looked puzzled and a bit worried. 

“What is it?” James asked finally when he couldn’t take any more of the silent staring.

Regulus shook his head once. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

“I told you I was fine,” James said, rubbing his face exasperatedly and cringing when he remembered how one of the men had punched him there. “Ow.” 

Regulus’s hands spasmed, fluttering out to the side seemingly against his will. His face didn’t change, but it was like he was so focused on keeping his face neutral that he lost control of the rest of his body, the only indicator that he was affected. 

“How are you not more upset by this?” Regulus asked, his voice tilting with a deeply buried accent. James wanted to ask where he was originally from, but he felt like that might be rude, especially given the way Regulus was trying to hide it. 

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. He was still sure that it would hit him later, and he would have to deal with the ramifications then. 

“A normal person would be,” Regulus said, speaking it like an accusation. James chuckled. 

“Yes, well,” James said. “I feel safe with you.” Immediately his face burned with embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to say that, really he hadn’t even realized that he felt that way. But the moment the words were out of his mouth, he realized that they were true. 

Regulus looked shocked, well and truly shocked, before his face did something very odd that James couldn’t begin to hope to interpret. “You are very odd,” he said, not unkindly. “You are a very odd person.” 

“Is that a bad thing?” James asked, he had never been called odd before. He wasn’t sure that he appreciated it, though Regulus didn’t look like he was trying to mock him. Regulus shook his head. 

“No, you just surprise me,” Regulus said. James wanted to ask what he meant, but they were interrupted by their waiter again, who came back to set down a plate of pasta in front of James. 

“Thank you,” James said quietly, not that the waiter paid him any mind. 

“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can get for you?” he asked, directing the question at Regulus once again. 

“No, thank you,” Regulus said with a dismissive wave of his hand. The waiter frowned, looking very put out, but left them again. The moment James tasted the food, he remembered how hungry he was. Somehow the bread hadn’t had that effect on him. He shoveled two large forkfuls into his mouth before remembering how rude it was to eat like that when he was in the presence of company. 

“Sorry,” he said after swallowing. Regulus just quirked one side of his lips up in a half smile. “Why were you in Hogsmeade?” James asked. He had been wondering about it since Regulus showed up, and now that he was safely out of the alley and had some food in him, he felt comfortable enough to ask. 

“I had some shopping to do,” Regulus said vaguely. James eyed him closely as he took another bite of pasta. 

“What kind of shopping?” James asked. Regulus stared back at him, before finally breathing a quiet sigh. 

“I was following you,” Regulus said bluntly. James dropped his fork, the clattering noise it made as it hit his bowl disproportionately loud in the quiet restaurant. 

“What?” he asked, scrambling to pick it back up. 

“I was following you,” Regulus repeated. “On your date.” He sneered slightly when he said the word. 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know,” Regulus replied. James could see the honesty of his words, he looked truly confused and bewildered, like he had driven to Hogsmeade against his will. “I’ve never tried too hard to keep someone alive, but I needed to make sure you were safe. It seemed ridiculous earlier, but now…” 

“And how did you find me, with those men?” James asked. If Regulus was going to be honest, then James was going to get answers. Regulus looked defeated. 

“I was keeping track of Gilderoy,” Regulus said. “I didn’t realize you would leave him to go off on your own, but then I noticed that he was heading off to eat dinner with two people who weren’t you, he wasn’t even wondering where you were.”

“How do you know that?” 

“It’s complicated,” Regulus said. 

“Try,” James said, feeling unsettled and intrigued. 

“I’ll explain in the car.” James nodded. “Anyway, I knew you weren’t with him, so I started driving around, trying to figure out where you went. I was able to follow —” He cut himself off and sat back slightly, his eyes vaguely panicked like he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. 

“You were able to follow?” James prompted. 

“You stopped eating,” Regulus replied, gesturing toward the fork that James was holding unmoving in his hand. 

James scoffed but stuffed another bite of pasta into his mouth. “Keep going, I’m listening.” 

Regulus took a deep, steadying breath. “I could follow your scent,” Regulus said. James’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but he was careful not to respond. “Then I saw what those men had done before, and I could feel that they would do it again.” He gritted his teeth together in frustration, the belligerent rage back on his face. 

“What did they do before?” James whispered. Regulus looked away, clearly trying to get ahold of himself. 

“Something I won’t let them get away with,” Regulus said harshly. James shivered, his stomach clenching. Regulus threatening to murder a group of men should not be this attractive. “You have no idea how hard it was not to go back right away.”

“But you will go back eventually?” James asked, though he already knew the answer. 

“Are you almost finished eating?” Regulus responded instead, gesturing toward his food. 

“I’m ready to leave,” James said, before taking four more huge bites as Regulus gestured for the waiter to bring their check. James didn’t even have time to pull out his wallet before Regulus had paid, placing far too much cash in the waiter’s hand. 

Regulus stood swiftly, and James clambered to follow, both of them rushing out of the restaurant like they had just dined and dashed. Or like they were rushing out to get handsy in the car. If only, James thought longingly. 

Chapter Text

Regulus wanted to devour James. He had since the first time he saw him. Though not always in the same way. 

James had long limbs and walked with an easy grace that seemed to come naturally to him. He probably never even noticed it. He followed Regulus out of the restaurant like a deer pouncing through the forest, with easy, innate agility that would make any other human jealous. He stood tall, his shoulders squared and his back straight, a facile dignity to him that arrived at every conversation like the rising sun. Even before Regulus smelled him, before he nearly killed him in that classroom, he noticed how James walked and the way he held himself. 

Regulus felt the eyes of their waiter and hostess watching them as they walked. He could see the way the two of them would gossip gleefully when other interesting or annoying people dined at their restaurant. They were close friends, the two of them, and they knew how to spot someone who fell into the realm of the person’s type. Regulus must have hit markers for both of them. 

He gave the hostess a polite smile as they passed, her eyes lingered on him. They didn’t even drift to James, which was a travesty in Regulus’s opinion. He was something special to look at, and these humans were doomed if they couldn’t appreciate that. There was something so invigorating and truly alive about James. Something that Regulus couldn’t hope to replicate with his un-beating heart and his unnaturally pale skin. 

“Have a good night,” the hostess called. Regulus ignored her, but James said a polite goodbye. He was too nice. They had been rude to him since they arrived, and yet James responded with courtesy and civility that they did not deserve. 

“Buckle your seatbelt,” Regulus said the moment they were in the car. 

James rolled his eyes. They spun behind his glasses making him look like a cartoon character that had just been hit in the head with an iron block. Regulus tampered down on the smile that tried to escape him. It wouldn’t do to let that kind of behavior slip. 

“You don’t have to tell me that every time,” James said, sounding a bit like an exasperated child, his typically baritone voice climbing up an octave in his exasperation. “I always do it.” 

“You didn’t last time,” Regulus said. James clicked his seatbelt in place before looking up with an incredulous expression. 

“I was suffering from a head injury,” James defended, “and assault!” Regulus clamped his teeth together with a loud click. 

“Don’t remind me,” he said, his voice a tad too threatening. He shouldn't take his anger and anxiety out on James. At this rate, James was likely to get attacked four times before they made it back to his house. 

“Are you upset with me that I was attacked? Because it really wasn’t my fault.” James leaned back to start digging through his bag of books that Regulus had placed behind the driver's seat. 

“You should have been more careful,” Regulus said because now that he thought about it, he was a bit upset with James for getting attacked. He had never met a human so prone to deadly encounters, it was like someone was trying to end him, one way or another. 

“I’m sorry,” James said, sounding anything but. His voice was slightly muffled from the bizarre way he was bending his upper body to reach the bag. 

“What are you looking for?” 

“I purchased this book before I was attacked — that’s what I was doing out there — so I was trying to find it. I just wanted to flip through it. I think it might be useful for this conversation.” He explained it like he was speaking offhandedly to a child. Regulus wanted to bite him. Not in a mean way perhaps. Just a small nibble. 

“The book you were nearly killed for?” Regulus asked using the same offhanded tone. 

“Yes,” James said. He finally managed to grab the book he was searching for, setting it on the top of his thighs before he began to haphazardly flip through it. “So, you can follow my scent?” James spoke evenly like he wasn’t bothered, but Regulus could hear the way his heartbeat stuttered for a second. 

Honestly, Regulus couldn’t believe that he had told James that. In retrospect, it probably wasn’t the first detail he should have divulged, but he was tired of hiding. He tried to stay away and that hadn’t worked out well — the long nights in the Northern Alaska wilderness were not enough to clear James from his thoughts — so the only alternative was to tell James what he wanted to know. He would just have to accept what came after. 

His family didn’t know about his decision yet, except for Pandora perhaps, and Lily, come to think of it since Pandora couldn’t bear to keep secrets from Lily for too long. Barty and Evan wouldn’t be pleased if they found out. Regulus would be lucky if Evan didn’t tear him limb from limb when they saw each other next. 

Sirius was the most unpredictable. For decades now he had harped on the, “I just want you to be happy,” train for Regulus’s life. 

“I am happy,” Regulus would always reply, and Sirius would always give him that look that meant he knew Regulus was full of shit, but he was being a kind and benevolent older brother by not mentioning it. 

Would he be disappointed when he realized Regulus’s happiness was tied to some random human man that Regulus couldn’t help but follow around like a lost puppy? For goodness sake, he had followed the man while he was supposed to be on a date with someone else. How pathetic could he get? 

He couldn’t bring himself to regret it though. James would be dead or worse right now if Regulus hadn’t intervened. He was a big guy, no doubt strong enough to protect himself from one person, but a group of men who were well experienced in the art of trapping, hurting, and killing others? It was just too much for him. And anyway, he couldn’t have stayed away if he wanted to, he was drawn to Hogsmeade the moment he knew James was headed there. It was as if James was a powerful magnet, and Regulus was a helpless piece of metal sailing through the air to collide with him. 

They hadn’t collided yet though. Soon . 

“Yes, I can follow your scent,” Regulus said. He sped up a little, pushing past the 130 mph marker. James didn’t appear to notice, he looked out of the corner of his eye at Regulus, before looking back down at his book. He seemed to be looking for something specific, but Regulus didn’t think that James would be able to make out that many of the words with his human eyes. “Does that bother you?”

“How can it?” James mumbled. “I wouldn’t be alive otherwise.” He paused for a long second, fiddling over and over again with one specific page. “I suppose it’s a bit weird. What do I smell like?”

Like Ambrosia, Regulus thought but didn’t say. Like the legendary drink of the gods, like everything I could ever dream, like something out of my nightmares. Regulus had been very well-behaved for nearly fifty years, not a drop of human blood crossing his lips — Lily was very impressed — but James’s scent was the worst kind of temptation, a thing of biblical fable the way it drew Regulus in. 

“It’s difficult to explain,” Regulus said. “Very nice.” 

James blushed. He did that a lot. At least, he did it a lot in Regulus’s presence. Regulus didn’t like to imagine that others had the joy and torture of watching red spread across James’s dark skin. The idea that anyone but him had seen that happen made him fiercely jealous. He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, careful not to break it under his grasp. He did that when leaving Godric’s Hollow when James first arrived, though he was driving Barty’s jeep. Barty was not happy. 

“You’re not — you’re not human, are you?” James asked the question carefully, it seemed to escape him like an animal burrowing out from beneath the earth to flee some unearthly predator. 

Regulus thought about lying, but he wasn’t sure that it would do him any good. James seemed to already know, he always seemed to see more of Regulus than Regulus wanted him to. He would find out eventually at this rate anyway. If he reacted badly, Regulus could always kill him. 

The thought of James dying at his hands was a hot knife stabbing into him, cauterizing his organs off from each other. If he was standing, he would have doubled over in pain. It was just an offhanded thought, Jesus Christ, it shouldn’t have affected him so much. Still, he didn’t think he could live with the guilt. It was already hard enough trying to live with himself, if James was killed because of him, he wouldn’t survive it. 

“No, I’m not human,” Regulus said. James gasped slightly, though Regulus could tell that he was working hard not to show it. He was burying down his body's natural reaction to what was, undeniably, a troubling piece of information. 

“Oh,” James said. His heart was beating so quickly that it filled the car, sounding like heavy drums coming out of the expensive speakers. 

“Does that bother you?” Regulus asked carefully. He didn’t look at James, though that did very little. James’s presence in the car was like an overfilled grocery bag, Regulus would be remiss to not notice any of the small nuances in his reactions. 

“No, of course not,” James said. He spoke politely like they were having a political discussion about the merits of a person not being human. Well, of course, they deserve rights, just not human rights. Perhaps their own set of rights that are different from our own. Not any worse, of course! Just a bit different . 

Regulus chuckled. “How magnanimous of you. What is the book for?” 

“My friend — Remus, he lives on the reservation — told me a story…” James’s voice faded off. It took Regulus a long moment to realize that he had frozen like a predator about to pounce, James’s heart beat erratically, skipping beats here and there. At this rate, Regulus really would cause James’s untimely demise. 

Okay, okay, he was only kidding. There was no reason for his chest to hurt like that. It was just a joke. 

Regulus purposefully relaxed his body, James seemed to relax minutely in response though he didn’t continue speaking. If James was talking to someone in the Daturachin tribe — Remus, whoever that was — then he already knew more than he was letting on. He knew close to everything. 

“Go on,” Regulus prompted.

“He told me about the Gelidias, a legend that they have about creatures who eat people,” he said, speaking carefully like he was expecting his words to set Regulus off again. “Do you—” James cut off with a cough, “you don’t… eat people, do you?” 

Regulus tensed again, though he tried not to show it. “No, I don’t eat people,” he said. Though he had. James had asked in the present tense though, so he answered in the present tense. He no longer ate people. 

James relaxed slightly. Regulus could see him gazing out the front windshield, his eyes with that far away look like he was trying to parse out something in his head. Regulus wished James would tell him, but he wouldn’t push. Not right now anyway. 

“I know you must have questions,” Regulus said gently. 

James looked over at him, his cheeks blazing red again. Regulus would have cut off all his fingers just to know what caused that specific blush. What could James have been thinking about that Regulus interrupting would have made him embarrassed? He thought of James asleep in his bed, breathing heavily while he worked himself over against the mattress, the huff of a moan escaping him, and at the final second, Regulus’s name spoking like a sinner’s homily. 

“You said you saw what those men did… or had done?” James asked, looking out his window as he spoke as if he couldn’t bear to look Regulus in the eye and talk to him at the same time. 

“Right,” Regulus said. That was a good question. A hard one though, a much harder one than he expected to get to start. “It’s a bit complicated.”

“I think I can follow it,” James snapped lightly. Regulus raised his eyebrows, pursing his lips to keep from laughing. James’s snapping at him was like an angry cat who gave you one last hiss before escaping to hide under your bed. 

“Myself and my family, some of us have… abilities,” he said carefully. He hadn’t had to explain this in a long time. James nodded for him to go on, finally looking back over. 

“What’s your ability?” James said. “Are you a mind reader?” 

“Not quite,” Regulus said with a small chuckle. “No, I can see… well, it’s like the past. In certain spaces, I can see what happened there. It’s almost like events that took place there exist as a permanent movie, sort of like a memory. I can see events play out as if I was there the first time.” 

James looked thoughtful for a moment. “Is it just location-based?” James asked. 

“For the most part, yes,” Regulus said. “I’ve developed it a bit over the years, sometimes I can see based specifically on a person rather than a specific place, but it’s difficult.” 

“So when you said you saw what those men had done, you meant that you watched them… do whatever it was in Hogsmeade?” James asked. He was smiling now, excitement obvious in his eyes. He looked like he had forgotten to be self-conscious. 

“Yes, I could see what they had done to someone else,” Regulus said. He smiled back, though he had to clench his teeth to hold back the wave of harsh rage that swelled inside him. 

“Wow,” James breathed. “That’s so cool!” Regulus laughed despite himself. James almost sounded like a little kid presented with a new toy. 

“I suppose,” he said. “I have a question now.”

“Oh, are we going back and forth then?” James asked before a smirk crossed his face. “Going to ask what color underwear I’m wearing?” He waggled his eyebrows. 

Regulus gave him a disapproving look, but James seemed to find it funny. At least for the moment, the intimidation he usually felt was gone. Do I dazzle you? Of course not.  

“Who is Remus?” Regulus asked. He would not let his jealousy seep into his voice, though it nearly did. 

“Oh,” James said softly. “His father and my father are friends, that’s how I met him.” James paused. “We’re just friends.” 

Damn it. He was not quite as skilled at hiding his emotions as he hoped to be. “I see,” Regulus said softly. 

“My turn again?” James asked cheerfully. Regulus nodded. “If you don’t eat people, then do you just eat normal food?” 

Regulus flinched even though James didn’t hold any judgment in his voice. “I can eat normal food, but it doesn’t do anything for me. It won’t satisfy any hunger that I feel. My family and I — we survive off of animals.” 

“So basically just food then,” James muttered quietly. Regulus wouldn’t have been able to hear it if he wasn’t a vampire. 

“Not just food,” Regulus said with a roll of his eyes. “Honestly, what exactly was it that Remus said to you?”

“He just said that you eat people,” James replied. “I assumed that you ate them whole.”

“Maybe you should read that book first,” Regulus replied with a huff. James didn’t know then. He didn't know everything. What would he think when he did? 

“Maybe,” James said softly. “Or you could just tell me?” 

Regulus chuckled, though his stomach clenched nervously. He didn’t want to answer, but James was going to find out regardless. It made more sense for Regulus to tell him himself. 

“We don’t eat them whole,” Regulus said. “We survive off of blood.” 

James was silent for a long, uncomfortable second. “You’re a vampire?” he said loudly. 

Regulus looked over nervously, expecting anger or disgust, instead, James was smiling and laughing. It wasn’t exactly a kind laugh, it was more a laugh of incredulity. As if he was making fun of Regulus for being a vampire like it was something he had chosen to do. It was like Regulus had just told him he listened to emo music and not that he was a bloodthirsty monster. 

“Yes, I’m a vampire,” Regulus said, choking on the words slightly. James cackled. 

“I should have guessed,” James said. It took a bit to get a hold of himself, and Regulus was silent as he did so. He still wasn’t quite sure how James felt even with his wild laughter. “So wait, how old are you then?” 

“I’m twenty-one,” Regulus said automatically. 

James huffed a laugh. “Of course you are. And how long have you been twenty-one?”

Regulus tried to keep from smiling, but he could feel himself losing the fight against his self-control. His lips twitched. “A while,” he said. 

James laughed loudly. Regulus felt an unusual warmth spread through him, a warmth that he hadn’t felt in years, or maybe ever. He couldn’t remember. 

“Can I ask you some questions?” James said once he calmed down again. 

“You’re welcome to. I may not answer,” Regulus replied evenly. James smiled. 

“Fair enough,” he said quietly. “So if you’re a vampire, how come you’re able to go outside during the day?”

“That’s a myth. At least, partially. We can go out in the sun, but we’re distracting,” he said with a small laugh. That was always the word Pandora used. Distracting . Regulus thought that was a little generous, they could probably cause an accident if a human saw them in the sun. “But we can go outside when it’s cloudy. That’s why we’re in Godric’s Hollow because it’s so cloudy most of the year.” 

James hummed in acknowledgment. “So you sleep at night like humans do?” 

Regulus smiled. “We don’t sleep,” he said. 

“At all?” James shouted. 

Regulus shook his head. “Nope, not at all. It’s a bit annoying, actually.” 

“Huh,” James said thoughtfully. 

“Any other questions?” Regulus prompted. 

“How do the Daturachin tribe know about you and your family?” 

“Ah, that’s a bit more complicated. A story for another time,” he said right as he pulled into James’s driveway. 

“There will be another time?” James asked. He was smiling, but there was an insecurity to his voice that Regulus didn’t love. “You’re not just going to go back to ignoring me after this?” 

Regulus paused. “Well see,” he replied playfully. 

James smiled, but there was still that uncertainty. Regulus knew it was his fault, but he still hated it. Logically, he knew he should leave James alone, let the disappointment run its course, and let him move on, but he didn’t think he had it in him anymore. He just couldn’t stay away, and if he couldn’t stay away, then he would have to fix the uncertainty on James’s face. 

He leaned over and placed his fingers lightly against the forming bruise on James’s face. He could feel rage simmering inside him, but he pushed it away. There would be time for anger later, for now, James needed tenderness. James gasped when he felt the cold against his skin. Regulus wondered if it felt good against his injury. He hoped it didn’t hurt him. James didn’t pull away, but Regulus couldn’t be sure whether it was because he wasn’t in pain or not. James seemed inclined to put himself in harm's way for little to no reason. 

“Will you do me a favor?” Regulus said softly. 

James blinked hard. “Yes,” he breathed. 

“Don’t go into the forest by yourself.” Regulus had seen him that day, and had watched him wander down the path behind his house. It wasn’t unsafe in that exact area, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t want James to make a habit of going into the forest. With his luck, who knew what kind of danger he could run into?

James smiled slightly as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Okay,” he agreed, though he looked disappointed. 

Regulus gave a half smile. He didn’t want to leave him disappointed. He mentally rolled his eyes at himself. When had he gotten so soft? 

He made the split-second decision, and before he could second guess it, he leaned forward and kissed him. James gasped against his mouth but kissed his back instantly. It felt like a revelation. His lips were like a preacher's prayer, his warmth breathing life into Regulus, resurrecting pieces of himself that had been dead and decaying for years. 

He swiped his tongue across James’s bottom lip, swallowing the groan that followed, before pulling away. James followed him instinctively before catching himself and sitting back. He blinked away the daze in his eyes, and Regulus couldn’t help but smile. 

“Go inside,” Regulus said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

James smiled brightly. “Okay — I’ll — okay, yes — tomorrow,” he responded, tripping over his words. He climbed out of the car and was about to shut the door when Regulus stopped him. 

This was a risk, especially after their night together, but Regulus couldn’t help himself. He had seen in school a few weeks ago Gilderoy call James “Jamie.” James had clearly hated it, but Gilderoy didn’t notice, too full of himself to recognize it. But Regulus wanted to know, he needed to know. Was it just because Gilderoy said it? Would James react differently if it was him? 

“Jamie,” he said smoothly, lowering his voice slightly in a way he knew would drive James crazy. It had the desired effect. James paused and turned to him, his eyes wide and bright. 

“Ye — yeah?” he stuttered out. 

“Don’t forget your books,” Regulus said, pulling them back out from behind his seat and handing it over. 

“Oh, right,” James said, a blush spreading across his skin. Regulus could smell the way the blood flushed. It made his mouth water, but perhaps not in the way it would have weeks ago. 

James was gone and into the house a few moments later. Regulus dropped his head back against the seat. He was a fool. The scent of James’s blood lingered in the car, tainting it with that intoxicating temptation. He had to put away his cravings when he was near, otherwise, they would overwhelm him like they did that first day. James’s scent drove him to the edge of insanity when he so much as thought about it. 

He picked up his phone, expecting texts and missed calls from his family. Surely Pandora had seen what he was up to tonight. He wondered if Evan would attack him when he got home. However, his phone was empty, not even a single text. 

He put it away. His family was a problem for later. Right now, he had a group of men to find. 

The drive back to Hogsmeade was quick and quiet. He didn’t even bother turning on the radio, instead keeping himself entertained by running through exactly what he was about to do. He would have to be careful not to spill too much blood. He had a great amount of self-control after so long, but it still wasn’t perfect. They couldn’t all be Sirius or Evan. Show-offs. 

He left his car on the edge of town, there was no use driving it back somewhere that it could be spotted. Not that he expected anything to happen to him. Still, it was best to avoid any future headaches when he could. 

He made his way slowly through the town, searching out memories that cropped up on different streets. He took his time. It had been so long since he hunted anyone down, but he knew they wouldn’t be able to escape him. There was no need to rush. They must not have been from Hogsmeade originally, otherwise, they would have memories all over the town. That’s how it was in Godric’s Hollow with some of the people who grew up there. If he was looking for them, he could find memories of them on every corner. 

He eventually found the memory he was looking for three blocks from where he rescued James. It must have been a few months ago as they were all dressed for much warmer temperatures. They had chosen a man much smaller than James. He wondered if they had been building up to it, had been practicing with easier targets, targets who couldn’t fight back at all. 

This victim looked like an older teenager, maybe nineteen. He memorized his face as he watched them stalk him. They cornered him in an alley that was a few blocks past where they cornered James. He wanted to look away from what they did, but he didn’t feel like he could. There were no reports of murders in Hogsmeade, so no one had ever known what happened to this man except for Regulus. 

Regulus refused to look away. He couldn’t provide any comfort now, he couldn’t help him, but he could remember what those men did. He could see it and he could make them pay for it. He could make sure that they never did it again. 

He wondered how this group of men came together and how they settled on Hogsmeade. How long had they been doing this? They were clearly organized, though not perfect. If they had been doing this for a while, then there would no doubt be a trail left in their wake. Was someone out there looking for them? Hunting them in their own way? 

“Fascinating piece of concrete?” Sirius’s voice suddenly cut through his focus. He jolted in surprise and immediately rolled his eyes as Sirius started laughing. He was way too good at that, way too skilled at sneaking up on people, even other vampires. 

“What are you doing here?” Regulus asked, turning his back on the memory that was still filtering through his thoughts. 

“Pandora said you were up to something,” Sirius said, a gleam of mirth in his eyes. 

“You didn’t think to call?” Regulus said, annoyed. 

“Where would be the fun in that?” Sirius said. His smile slipped off his face a second later. “Want to tell me what happened?” 

“Not particularly,” Regulus lied. Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. “James was attacked.” 

“In Hogsmeade?” Sirius said with a raise of his eyebrows. Regulus nodded unhappily. 

“He would have been — well, it’s just good that I was here,” Regulus said. He thought of Pandora who had never once mentioned what might happen to James. He wondered if there was a chance he didn’t intervene. Would she have just let this happen to him? Surely she wouldn’t be so cruel. 

“Who attacked him?” Sirius asked. 

“A group of men,” Regulus said. “They only came to Hogsmeade half a year ago.” 

“This isn’t the first time they’ve done it?” Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, a deep line creasing his perfectly smooth skin. 

“No,” Regulus said, suddenly feeling sick. He swallowed down the feeling. “No, it’s not.” 

Sirius gave him a long, searching look. “What do you plan to do about this?” Sirius asked solemnly. 

“You’d probably be happier not knowing,” Regulus said, turning away. 

Sirius didn't respond right away, and Regulus wondered when he would start his speech about doing the right thing as he usually did. Sirius placed his hand on Regulus’s shoulder. “Where are they now?” he asked in a low voice. 

Regulus turned to give him a truly bewildered look. 

“Don’t look so surprised,” Sirius said with an easy grin. Regulus hated the way his body relaxed. Even after all this time, he couldn’t stand it when Sirius was upset with him, or even worse, disappointed in him. 

He didn’t respond, instead, he turned to the memory and let himself be swallowed by it. Sirius stood with him quietly then followed when Regulus started making his way down the street, following the group of men as they carried the teenager back to the house they were staying in. It was in the middle of a line of houses, but it was in clearly disrepair compared to its neighbors. He wondered if they were renting it or if they were simply squatting there. 

He walked right up to the front door, Sirius one step behind him. He could smell and hear them now. 

“He’s not going to do anything,” one of them said. “If he was, he would have done it by now. And besides, he doesn’t know who or where we are. I think you guys are overreacting.”

“If he calls the police then they might start poking around,” another one said. “We’re leaving while we still have the chance.” 

There was shuffling around inside, the noises of them quickly packing. Regulus turned slightly to look at Sirius. His eyes were emotionless, but his jaw was clenched harshly. Regulus wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to help, that he could leave and let Regulus handle it, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. 

He raised a hand and knocked. Best to start things politely, he thought sardonically. 

In the end, it took less than ten minutes to kill all of them. Sirius was an animal when he wanted to be, and things were far messier than they would have been had Regulus been alone. He didn’t mind though. A little cleaning never hurt anyone. 

He found a stack of wallets in the back of the house, all of them in a trash bag. There were six in total, the driver’s licenses still inside them. He pocketed each of them. He wouldn’t be able to tell their families what happened to their loved ones, not everything at least, but maybe he could send something, money maybe. 

“Feel better?” Sirius asked joyfully. He had blood dripping down the side of his face. How the smell didn’t bother him Regulus would never understand. 

Regulus didn’t quite know how to respond. The rage was gone for the time being, though each time he thought about it, he could feel the rage swelling back up. This would have to do. 

“Let’s go home,” he said instead. 

Chapter Text

“Jamie,” Regulus said, his voice like a seductive purr. James’s knees almost gave out. He was glad they didn’t, he did not want to crumble to the ground like a fainting maiden shocked by a man’s show of strength. 

“Ye — yeah?” he replied, stuttering over himself embarrassingly. He gripped the top of the door so tightly that it dug painfully into his fingers. He needed to get a grip on himself while he was at it. 

“Don’t forget your books,” Regulus said, a wicked smirk on those wicked lips. 

“Oh, right,” James said, practically running from the car with his books in hand so that he couldn’t humiliate himself further. He shut the front door behind him once he was inside and leaned heavily against it, thunking his head back against the wood. Regulus kissed him. He couldn’t believe it. His lips were still buzzing delightfully, his thoughts muffled behind the endorphins swimming in his bloodstream. 

“James? That you?” his father called from deeper inside. The sounds of the TV were muted to a still silence as his father waited for a response. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” James said. Who else? James thought. What kind of person breaks in just to stand longingly with their back against the front door? A burglar suffering from chronic pining, he supposed. 

He wanted to go right up to bed, perhaps spend a good long while alone in the shower imagining Regulus pressed up against him, slick with warm water. He shook off the fantasy before it could get away from him. He needed to check in with his father first. He wasn’t a child, he couldn’t just go running upstairs to hide with his imagination. 

“How was your date?” Fleamont said. He was asking it sarcastically, but James’s wistful sigh must have given him away as he walked into the living room. “That good?” Fleamont raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“It was a mess,” James said honestly. He tossed his bag full of textbooks on the couch and sat down next to it, sinking into the cushions tiredly. 

“So messy that you ended up with a large bruise on the side of your head?” Fleamont asked, the first twinge of worry in his voice. James touched the bruise forming, wincing slightly. That was going to look horrible tomorrow. 

“No, that was unrelated,” James said dismissively.  

Fleamont frowned, looking troubled. “James…” 

James waved his hand around. “It’s nothing.”

“Did your date do that to you?” 

James chuckled because the actual way he received the bruises was far more distressing than what Fleamont was imagining, and James was so far away from being able to process it that there was little he could do to explain properly. 

“No, he actually abandoned me halfway through to go out to dinner with two random girls he just met that evening,” James said.

“He what?” Fleamont said with a barking laugh, he looked shocked by the noise. James nodded, a bit too hard given the way his vision started swimming. He stopped abruptly, hoping he wouldn’t spontaneously lose consciousness in front of his father. He didn’t want to visit the hospital again so soon. “That is a mess.”

“Yes,” James agreed. “But it all worked out in the end.” 

“How is that?” 

“Well, to be honest, I didn’t want to be on a date with him at all. I only said yes to be polite.” Okay, a small lie, but he wasn’t going to reveal the real reason. “But then Regulus — he’s a guy in my class — showed up and well… he’s the one that drove me home.” 

“Wow, ditched by one date and picked up another one before the night was over. Your mother would be impressed.” 

“Pretty sure Mom would tell me that I was acting loose.”

“Oh, she would,” Fleamont agreed, laughing cheerfully. “But she’d wink when she said it, and you’d know she was joking.” 

James smiled fondly, remembering the way his mother used to throw out little insults with a wink. It was her most common form of showing love, her warmth always making every insult feel like love. His smile faded from his face remembering that she was gone, that she would never meet Regulus. He wished he could call her right now, tell her all about the horrible thing that had happened to him tonight. There wasn’t a chance in a million years that he would tell his father about it, but his mother would understand. She would see the fear in his story even as he worked to bury it beneath indifference. 

“I think I’ll head up to bed,” James said softly. He looked up to see that his father’s smile had faded as well. He was lost in thought now, stuck behind his own wall of grief. Weren’t they just a pair? 

His excitement and desperation had faded significantly by the time he made it up to his room, but he decided to still shower. He was working very hard to keep the thoughts away, but every now and then he couldn’t help remembering the violent feeling of those men’s hands on him. He turned the water on until it was scorching hot, stepping under it with a sigh of relief. 

He pushed away all thoughts of his night except for those last few minutes spent in Regulus’s nice car. He wasn’t human, that was quite a reveal, but James didn't even feel troubled by it. It felt like confirmation of something he’d known from the first moment he’d seen the man. Of course, he wasn’t human. Just look at him and you’d know. 

He thought of the way Regulus pressed his lips against James’, the way his skin felt against his own. His tongue, Jesus, his tongue. It was sinful that it should feel so good with such little contact. He wanted to suck on it, to feel it in every corner of his mouth and lavished against every inch of his skin. He wanted everything. 

Finally, that desperation was back, and James slowly brought himself off in the shower, standing there afterward until the water ran cold. He crawled into bed after towel-drying his hair, thinking about how excited he was to see Regulus the next day at school. 

As he came right to the mouth of the alley, a fist suddenly collided with the side of his face so hard that his head flung back and smacked into the side of the building with a loud crack. Not again, James thought. 

“Ah!” James shouted, using one hand against the brick to keep himself upright. “What?” 

He barely had time to open his eyes before he was hit again for the second time. His vision blurred, his glasses shifting on his face before dropping to the ground. The clatter as they hit the concrete was so much louder than anything else he could hear. He hoped they weren’t broken. 

“Stop,” he said, lifting a hand to block the person but another fist came from a different direction and hit him in the stomach hard. He doubled over, dropping his bag of books. He just purchased them, he hoped they didn’t get damaged as they fell. Someone kneed him in the chest, and he crumbled to the filthy ground along with his glasses and books. 

He woke with a start, his breaths coming out in harsh, desperate pants like he had been suffocating in his sleep. Cold sweat drenched his body, seeping into his pillow and bedsheets. He was shaking terribly but also felt incapable of moving. 

A nightmare. It was just a nightmare. He tried to slow his breathing, doing his best to get himself back under control, but it was a struggle. It was a long few minutes before he felt well enough to open his eyes again. The dull light of the very early morning was slipping in through the window. It was silent, not a drop of rain falling outside, yet he could tell that it was overcast. 

He briefly glanced at the time, just a bit after five a.m., he still had time to sleep. As his heart rate slowed back to a normal pattern, his eyes grew heavy, and he drifted back into a half-sleep. When he woke up an hour or so later, he realized right away that there was no way he was going to see Regulus at school today. 

He could barely lift his head it hurt so bad. He blinked against the light before slamming his eyes shut and groaning quietly. He wasn’t going anywhere. He turned over mournfully, the window just a reminder of what he wouldn’t get to do that day. Regulus had just kissed him. He was going to see him again. Ugh. 

James felt a bit like a pouty child who’d just been told they couldn’t go on a school field trip after they tested positive for strep. It didn’t matter though. Even if he could manage to get out of bed, he doubted he would be able to safely drive. It was like Godric’s Hollow was trying to kill him, the amount of times he’d been injured since moving there. Maybe it was cursed, maybe in every universe, James Potter was cursed to die in Godric’s Hollow, he thought sardonically.

He closed his eyes and let himself drift again. He wasn’t sure that he fell back asleep, he didn’t think so, but he wasn’t thinking, and he wasn’t really present in his body, so it felt like rest. 

“James?” his father’s muffled voice carried through his closed door. 

“Yeah,” James grunted in reply. He heard the door open slowly, but he could tell that his father was still in the hallway. 

“Are you not headed to classes?” Fleamont asked. 

James tried to shake his head but had to hold in a wince of pain when that caused his spine to scream in revenge. “No, I’m not feeling well.” 

He could practically feel his father frowning at him, he knew he wanted more details on what happened to him, but James was in no state to explain it to him. Even talking felt like too much for him at that moment. 

“Do you need anything?” he asked. 

James could desperately use some water and maybe a painkiller, but he didn’t want his father to worry too much, and he knew that he would if James put in those requests. Instead, he simply said, “No, I’m okay. Thanks.” 

“Okay, just let me know.” 

He wondered if his father would spend all day sitting on the back porch thinking about his injured son stuck in bed. Would he forget as he slipped into catatonia? He almost hoped that he would so that James could be left alone. He heard the door shut softly, and he let himself relax again. 

He really could use a drink and a painkiller. He spent the next hour laying completely still weighing the benefits of venturing out of bed to procure one. For a long time, it didn’t seem worth it, and then eventually he slipped back into an uneasy sleep. He felt like he was just below the surface of wakefulness. 

The next time he woke, he could tell instantly that he wasn’t alone, though it was dead silent in his room. He didn’t open his eyes right away, keeping his breathing even as he listened closely. He felt like he was being watched. 

“I’m going to have to wake him up if you want me to check on him,” he heard someone whisper, the voice low and melodic like a river deep in the forest, dampened by the thick trees. Someone else sighed. 

“Okay, let me just…” 

Regulus, James thought. That was Regulus’s voice. His eyes shot open so quickly that he was momentarily blinded by the light in the room. He squinted immediately, blinking hard a few times. Everything was blurry without his glasses. 

“Hey, Jamie,” Regulus said, walking around so James could see him. He knelt down a bit so that his face came into focus. He was smiling sympathetically. James was pretty sure he was the most beautiful being to ever live. He felt like he’d died and gone to heaven. 

He heard a muffled noise that sounded like a swallowed laugh. Regulus shot a glare over James’s shoulder at whoever else was in the room. 

“Regulus,” James said, his voice raspy from disuse. His mouth was so dry, and his eyes ached with dehydration. 

“Let me get you some water,” Regulus said softly, gently. James hummed pleasantly as he grazed his fingers along the uninjured side of his face. 

“Okay,” he whispered. Regulus was gone for a second and then back in a flash. James blinked hard again. Did he just blackout? No, he remembered, Regulus could just do that. That fact should not have made James’s thighs clench, but alas. 

There was another muffled laugh. James had already forgotten that they weren’t alone. 

“Sirius. Enough,” Regulus snapped. His face grew stormy but softened when he turned back to James. “Come on, sit up so you can drink.” 

“Don’t want to,” James mumbled. Regulus’s lips twitched against a smile, his eyes glittering. 

“Just for a moment,” Regulus said. James slowly pushed himself up, biting roughly on the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing too much. Regulus looked worried and unhappy, his hands gentle as they helped James sit against his pillows. “Here.” Regulus handed him his glasses, which James slipped on quickly, and then placed a glass of water in his waiting hand. 

“Thanks,” James said, watching him carefully. “Did my dad let you in?” 

“Oh, no. We came in through the window.” 

James turned his head to look at the other person in the room. Sirius, Regulus’s brother. Even if he hadn’t been told, he would know instantly that they were related. He wondered if they looked like twins when they were children. So many of their features were identical: their complexion, their gray eyes, their black, silky hair. The only real difference was the way Sirius wore his hair. It was much longer than Regulus’, hanging delicately around his shoulders. 

He was also older than Regulus, James realized after a moment. It was difficult to tell with the flawless way both of their faces looked, but upon closer inspection, he could see the way Sirius’s features settled more on his sharp face. If he had to guess, he looked like he might be thirty. Not much older than James himself, at least physically. 

Sirius had a dancing humor to him that James had never seen on Regulus’s face. He was smirking slightly though it didn’t look mean. It didn’t even look purposeful, almost like that was his typical expression. He was leaning against James’s desk, his arms crossed over his chest, and he watched James and Regulus like he’d never been so entertained. 

“Sirius,” James said. If Sirius was surprised that he knew his name, he didn’t show it. 

“James,” he replied, his smirk turning into a broad grin. James felt a bit like he was still dreaming, his thoughts floating high above him, disconnected from whatever was happening between the three of them. 

“Uh, no offense, but why are you here?” James said. Sirius laughed loudly. 

“Reggie here wanted me to check on you,” Sirius said. 

“Sirius, can you not be annoying for a few minutes?” Regulus said tiredly. 

“Not likely,” Sirius mumbled. 

“Check on me? Aren’t you a vet?” James asked, realizing only a second later that it sounded a little bit rude. 

“Currently I am, but I’ve had medical training, thank you very much,” Sirius said. He didn’t look offended thankfully, he seemed to take everything with good humor. 

“Okay,” James said uncertainly. James sat patiently as Sirius did a few things to check up on him, he was barely paying attention though, instead watching Regulus who kept looking between them like at any moment Sirius was going to deliver devastating news. 

“He’s fine,” Sirius said, speaking to Regulus like James wasn’t even in the room. He wondered if he’d forgotten his bedside manner given his current position as a vet. He was sure he had a second later when Sirius started scratching behind James’s ear unconsciously. “He just needs to rest a few days.” 

James snickered. Regulus gave him a questioning look before his eyes settled on Sirius’s hand. 

“Thank you, Sirius, but he’s not actually my pet,” Regulus said. 

Sirius pulled his hand away with a good-natured laugh. “Could have fooled me,” he said jokingly. “Do you have any painkillers in the house, James?” 

“In the bathroom,” James mumbled. Sirius gave him a genuine smile, leaving the room a second later. He moved at a normal speed, James realized. “You didn’t have to check up on me, you know.” He was ridiculously glad Regulus did, if only because now James got to see him, but he was a bit embarrassed to have Regulus see him in this state, rumpled from sleep and covered in bruises. 

“Yes, I did,” Regulus said simply. He wanted Regulus to stay longer, maybe all day, but once Sirius came back with a few painkillers, the two of them left, climbing back through the window and disappearing from view. 

When he woke up again a few hours later, he was sure that it had all been a dream. Why would Regulus and Sirius be in his room at all? He thought about getting up to make sure his window was locked but ultimately decided against it. He went downstairs for dinner a bit later, and he could feel the worried looks his father was throwing at him, but he ignored them. He took more painkillers after eating and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep just after the sunset. 

He woke early the next morning intending to get up and go to work, but the moment he stood, he knew that wasn’t happening. He called Frank, telling him very apologetically that he wasn’t well and couldn’t make it in today. 

“Yeah, you weren’t in class yesterday. I was worried,” Frank said. “Gilderoy is saying all sorts of things about you, just so you know.” 

James groaned. “Of course he is,” James said unhappily. “What is he saying exactly?”

Frank hesitated. “I’m not sure I should be the one to tell you, especially if you aren’t feeling good.” 

It was obvious that Frank was too afraid to repeat whatever vitriol was coming out of Gilderoy’s mouth, and though James was terribly curious, he let the issue drop for Frank’s sake. He turned off his phone once they were done speaking and collapsed back into bed, intending to sleep all day. 

He had another nightmare, this one a bit more abstract than the exact replica he’d had the night before, but he woke in the late afternoon feeling like his skin was crawling with disgust. He could still feel their hands on him, the violence they inflicted. What were they planning to do to him? He shuddered thinking about it, standing quickly and throwing himself into the shower to wash away the memories. 

He stared into the silver handle used to turn on the shower, his warped reflection staring back at him. The bruises looked so much worse today, but he figured that was to be expected as they healed. Green was already forming around the perimeter of them. He always healed quickly from bruises in his youth, and he hoped he hadn’t lost that ability. 

He felt lifeless by the time he left the steamy shower, his skin rubbed raw by the scorching water, but the feeling of violent hands was gone, removed from his body for the time being. He wrapped a towel around his waist and padded softly across the hallway back into his bedroom. He shivered slightly when he entered, not expecting the window to be left open. 

Wait, the window was open? He didn’t open the window. He snapped his head over to the bed to find Regulus lounging against his pillows, his socked feet crossed over each other casually, one of the books James purchased the day before open on his lap. 

“Regulus,” he breathed, closing his bedroom door firmly behind him. “What?”

Regulus’s eyes dragged shamelessly down his torso to where his hand was holding up the thin towel. It was the only thing maintaining his dignity, and yet he suddenly got the bizarre desire to drop it. Probably best not to do that. Yes, Regulus appeared to have broken into his house again, climbing in through his unlocked window, but it wasn’t polite to flash people. 

“It’s good to see you out of bed,” Regulus said, his eyes drifting back up to search James’s face. He had a playful smile on his face, but his eyes were still a bit worried. 

“Yes, I was just showering,” James said, as if it wasn’t completely obvious given the water droplets still sliding down his naked chest. 

“So I can see,” Regulus responded, his smile growing slightly. James looked away, an embarrassed flush spreading across his face. He glanced back over at the open window, shivering again slightly when a gust of cold air blew in. Next to the open window were Regulus’s expensive shoes. 

“How long have you been waiting?” 

“Not long,” Regulus said. He had made no attempt to move, though he closed the book as he was speaking, setting it next to him. It was the one about Gelidias. James should have known. “Come here, Jamie.” 

It was as if Regulus had cast a spell on him, his feet moving against his will as he approached his bed. Regulus moved as well, throwing his legs over the side of the bed so that his feet were flat on the floor. Once James was close enough, Regulus reached out and lightly touched the bruise on James’s ribs. James gasped slightly, there was a slight twinge of pain, but the chill from Regulus’s fingers was like a healing balm. 

“Did you kill those men?” James whispered, his stomach swooping uncomfortably as the words escaped him. He wasn’t sure what answer he was dreading more, yes or no. 

Regulus looked up at him with piercing eyes, trapping James in the stormy gray. His face was deadly serious, but it gave nothing away. 

“You don’t need to worry about them,” Regulus said. He leaned up and placed a gentle kiss against the bruise, before standing. James still had his head tilted down so that their eyes could meet, but Regulus felt imposing now that he was on his feet. Even with his shorter stature, there was an undeniable power to him. 

“What does —” He didn’t get a chance to finish his question, because Regulus pressed his lips against his own, and he promptly forgot every single word in the English language. James felt like he had been set on fire, gasping instantly and leaning into the smaller man like gravity was pulling him in. 

Regulus cradled James’s head with one hand, his fingers tangling in the curls at the base of his neck. His other hand skated across the top of his towel, brushing periodically against his blazing skin. James’s cock thickened slowly in response, his grip on the towel tightening as he desperately tried to keep it in place. His other one was free to reach out, grab, and hold as fiercely as possible. He gave into it, holding Regulus’s waist like he would slip through his fingers at any second. 

When Regulus pulled away, much too soon for James’s liking, he was so hard that the towel was tented absurdly. Regulus just smirked triumphantly. “Get some rest, James,” he whispered. Stepping away so he wasn’t between James and his bed. 

James groaned as he let him go, watching as he walked silently back toward the open window. “You could stay,” James said, his words sounding painfully pathetic. He placed his free hand in front of his obviously hard cock. 

Regulus only smiled. “Another time,” he said stiffly. 

Once he was gone and the window was snuggly shut, James dropped the towel and brought himself off right there in his bedroom. He hadn’t been teased like that in a long time, maybe ever.  He cleaned up and crawled into bed after throwing on a pair of pajama bottoms. He swore he was feeling better already. 

Chapter Text

James was really beginning to enjoy the rainy mornings of Godric’s Hollow. He woke to a gray sky, rain pelting the window as it drenched the outside world. He could hear it on the roof above him, but it no longer irritated him. Instead, he felt comforted by it. Especially now that he knew it meant Regulus would actually be at school since there wasn’t a sun to force him into hiding. 

He got out of bed immediately, grateful that the room didn't spin. The bruise was healing, but it still looked pretty terrible. He didn’t want to miss any more of his classes though, already having missed too many with this mishap and the one previous, so he dressed quickly and headed down for breakfast. His father was already up, standing in the kitchen and staring out the front window. 

“Morning, Dad,” he said. His father jumped in surprise. 

“Oh, James,” he replied. “You’re looking…”

“I know, but it looks worse than it is.”

“Are you sure? Because it looks pretty bad.” He paused to take in the rest of James’s appearance.  “You’re not planning to go to school today, are you? You’ll cause a mass panic looking like that.” 

James rolled his eyes at his father’s dramatics. “I’m not going to cause a panic, I might just get some stares. It’s really not that bad.” 

“If you’re sure,” his father responded uncertainly. “Do you want some breakfast?”

“Sure, if you’re offering,” James said. It was so rare for his father to cook for him these days, and he wasn’t going to turn down a meal. He was starving, he realized, his stomach growling angrily at the mere mention of food. He hadn’t eaten much for the last two days as he recovered, and his body was unhappy about it. 

His father made quick work of breakfast: a few eggs (only a little overcooked), some bacon (a little undercooked), and some bread that James was pretty sure his father meant to toast but had forgotten to do so. He ate it all without complaint, barely tasting the food as he satiated his hunger. 

“Are you getting a ride from someone today?” his father said. James looked up at him curiously to find his father leaning back in the kitchen chair so that he could look out the window. He followed his eyeline and noticed Regulus’s car sitting in the driveway. 

“Um, I’m not sure,” he said honestly. He stood up from the table and grabbed his bag, a jacket, and his keys. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” Fleamont said. “Dinner at the diner tonight?”

“Sure,” James threw over his shoulder before hustling out the front door. Regulus’s car was running, the quiet hum seemed loud in the empty morning, the only other sound was the quiet patter of rain on the hood of the car. James’s heart started galloping in his chest, his palms growing sweaty as he took the few short steps to the passenger side door. He took one deep breath and opened it. 

“Hello, James,” Regulus said smoothly, his voice like velvet on skin that had been rubbed raw, soothing and distracting at the same time. “I see you’re out of bed.”

“Yeah,” James said, a helpless smile on his face. “Were you coming by to check on me?”

“No, I’ve come to drive you to school,” Regulus said. James stared at him confused for a second, feeling a bit out of his body as he stared across the interior of the car at this unbelievably beautiful man. “I usually try not to flood my car with rain.”

“What?” James said confusedly, before realizing that he was still standing outside the car, the door propped open on his hip. “Right, sorry.” He quickly climbed into the passenger seat, closing the door behind him. The inside of the car was warm, though not so warm that it made his nervous sweating worse. He breathed in a huge breath, sucking in the delightful smell that filled the car. He wasn’t sure if it was something in the car itself, or if it was just Regulus returned presence. 

“How are you feeling?” Regulus asked, his voice dropping into a gentle cadence that made James shiver. His perfect brows furrowed slightly as he reached up to graze James’s bruised skin with the tips of his fingers. James closed his eyes when he felt them touch, worried that he might lose control of himself and jump across the center console to get closer to Regulus. 

“I’m better,” James said. “It barely even hurts anymore.” 

Regulus smirked slightly and then pressed against the bruise, just on the wrong side of painful. 

“Ouch,” James said, shooing his hands away as Regulus chuckled. “It hurts when you touch it obviously, but otherwise I’m fine.” 

“Good,” Regulus said sincerely, his laughter falling away. He backed out of the driveway smoothly and took off toward the school. “You should be prepared,” Regulus said suddenly, a frown on his pink lips, “I don’t know how warm of a welcome you’ll find at school.”

“Ah, right, Frank mentioned that Gilderoy was saying some unsavory things about me,” James said easily. Regulus glared at him for a split second before his face softened. 

“That’s one word for it,” he said in a low, dangerous voice. 

James smiled fondly, he liked this side of Regulus. He’d never felt defended or protected in any of his past relationships. “You’re not allowed to kill him.” He said it as a joke, though the thought that Regulus might have killed the men who hurt him a few days ago was still weighing on his thoughts. 

The joke worked though, and Regulus smirked over at him. “We’ll see,” he said. He grinned suddenly, all of his perfect, white teeth on display like a threat. James shivered again, forcing himself to look away so that he didn’t get caught up in imagining Regulus running those teeth over his neck and shoulders. It would not be good to show up to campus with a huge bruise on the side of his face and a hard-on tenting his jeans. 

“Not that I mind riding with you, but is there a reason you wanted to take me to school or…?” James asked. Regulus’s lips twitched slightly. 

“You’re still injured, it wouldn’t be safe to have you on the road,” he replied. 

James chuckled. “At this rate, I’m always going to be injured,” he joked. Regulus’s face fell into a flat glare. 

“Don’t joke about that,” Regulus said. 

“Sorry,” James mumbled, but he couldn’t help the slight smile that spread on his lips. Regulus had such a grumpy streak and James couldn’t help but find it endearing. “How did you know I was coming to school today anyway?” 

Regulus glanced at him for a split second before his eyes returned to the road in front of him. “Pandora told me,” he said. “She said you were ‘anxious to get out of the house.’” 

James felt a flash of embarrassment. “Does she see a lot of my future?” Surely she didn’t watch him in the shower or anything. Right? Or did she? Oh, God, she definitely did. She definitely knew all his secrets. 

“Don’t stress, she can’t see that much,” Regulus said like he could read his thoughts. “Not unless she’s looking closely and most of the time she isn’t. I just asked her to tell me if you’d be on campus or not.” 

“Oh,” James said. “So they all knew you were coming to pick me up.” 

“Of course,” Regulus said curiously. James paused for a moment, looking out the window as the greenery rushed by. They were almost to campus when James spoke again. 

“Where are your siblings then? Don’t they usually ride with you?” 

“They’re capable of driving themselves,” Regulus said, but he rolled his eyes like it had taken a conversation to get them to agree to it. He wondered what Regulus’s family thought of him. Did they like him? Lily seemed to like him okay, but he wasn’t sure about the others. They pulled into the parking lot, and James immediately spotted Regulus’s four adopted siblings standing near an expensive SUV. Evan was standing by the driver’s side door, his arms crossed and a glare on his face. 

“I don’t think he likes me,” James confessed, breaking eye contact with Evan so he could look at Regulus who was smiling. 

“Evan doesn’t like anyone,” Regulus said. “Except maybe Barty, but even that is a stretch most days. I wouldn’t take it personally, he’s very grumpy.” 

“If you say so,” James said with a slight frown. He hated the thought of someone important to Regulus not liking him, though he wasn’t stupid enough to admit that little bit of insecurity out loud. 

Regulus turned off the car, and looked at James with a serious expression, he was eying the bruise again. James said nothing, just waiting for Regulus to figure out what he wanted to do. James was pretty sure that Regulus was a push away from driving James back home and forcing him to stay in bed all day again. 

“Come on,” James said. “I don’t want to be late.” His heart was pounding as he climbed out of the car. I should have kissed him , he thought annoyingly. Was kissing someone in the car on the way to school a normal thing for them? It would have been normal with anyone else, at least James thought it would, but things felt different with Regulus. He couldn’t understand why. 

They walked side by side as they approached the school buildings. Regulus reached out at the last moment and squeezed his hand gently, before peeling off to head to his class. James approached his English class right as class began, and he slipped into his seat in the very back just as Professor Sprout started speaking. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Peter was gaping at him, but he purposefully didn’t look over at him. 

The class seemed to take longer than expected, perhaps because of the way all the other students appeared to be watching him, or perhaps because he knew somewhere else on campus that Regulus was sitting in a classroom. James suddenly wished that he could just switch his entire schedule so that he didn’t have to be separated from Regulus again, though he quickly buried that thought. 

“Mr. Potter, would you mind staying behind for a moment?” Professor Sprout said right as class was ending. 

“Sure,” James said with a quick nod. He didn’t look at anyone as they filed out of the classroom and slowly walked up to Sprout’s desk once they were alone. 

“How are you feeling? I know you said you were… unwell.” 

“I’m feeling better,” James said. He knew what she was actually referring to and decided to just go ahead and explain so she didn’t feel the need to ask. “This looks worse than it is. I just fell while I was out on Tuesday and had to stay in bed for two days to recover.”

“Okay,” she said smoothly, hiding whatever emotions she was feeling behind a wall of professionalism. “Well, please let me know if you need help catching up with any of your work. I am always here if you have questions or just want to talk.”

“Thank you,” he replied politely. He skirted out of the room quickly after that, anxious to get away from Sprout’s concerned eyes. 

“Oh my god,” Peter said suddenly. He had been waiting right outside the door, and when James walked through it, he grabbed him by the arm and dragged him outside and off the main path. James followed him even though he was stronger than Peter and could easily shake out of his grasp. 

“You’re not planning to kill me, are you?” James joked as Peter pulled them around the side of a building so that they were out of sight of the other students. 

“What happened to your face?” Peter asked once they stopped walking. “Gilderoy’s been talking shit about you and I swore he was lying, but now…”

“Ugh,” James groaned, throwing his head back. It was sprinkling rain, and he could already feel his hair growing damp. “What is he saying?”

“He said that while you two were on your date, you left him to go find Regulus and then when you came back, you tried to convince him to have a threesome with you two.” James’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “That’s not all,” Peter went on. “He said that when he declined your offer, you got mad and tried to fight him, but he ended up fighting you off and left you in Hogsmeade.” 

“Fighting me — Gilderoy couldn’t fight me,” James muttered unhappily. 

“That’s what I said, I mean he’s moderately tall, but he looks like he’s afraid to pick up a textbook without pulling a muscle.” James chuckled. “But now, seeing your face, well…”

“What? Now you believe him?”

“I’m not saying I believe him,” Peter said. “But you rode to school with Regulus, didn't you?” 

“How do you know that? I didn’t see you out in the parking lot.”

“Please,” Peter said dismissively. “Everyone in the school knows about that. It was practically old news by the time class started.”

“Wow, there is a real gossip problem here.”

“It’s a small town, James,” Peter said, putting his hands on his hips like he was disappointed. “Of course, there is a gossiping problem.” 

“Right,” James said, frowning. “Can we get out of the rain? I don’t want my new books to get wet.”

“If Gilderoy didn’t beat you up,” Peter said, ignoring James’s request, “then why do you have a giant bruise on your face?”

James rolled his eyes and started walking back toward the covered walkways. “It’s really not a big deal. I just fell —”

Peter stopped him suddenly, pulling on his arm so that James would turn and look at him. “Did Regulus do that?” Peter whispered, looking around frantically for a second. “Did he hurt you?” 

“No,” James said, shaking Peter’s hand off. “Listen, I appreciate your concern, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Gilderoy is just being a dickhead, honestly. Regulus just ran into me in Hogsmeade and ended up driving me home after Gilderoy abandoned me for two random girls he had just met.” 

“Oh, did he?” Peter’s eyes lit up. 

“Not you too,” James complained. “I’m not trying to start anything. It was just a bad date, nothing crazy, so can we just drop it?” 

Peter gave him a long, measured look, something in his eyes that James found confusing. He felt like he was being dissected. “So you and Regulus, then?” 

“What about me and Regulus?” James asked, a faint blush betraying the way his heart sped up at the question. 

Peter looked around again, turning back to James with a keen look in his eyes. “Are you two — you know?” 

“What?” 

“You know!” Peter said, shaking his hands around. James watched on feeling completely out of his depth. 

“No, I don’t know. What are you asking?” 

“Are you two… doing stuff?” 

“Ew, Peter, why would you phrase it like that?” James said, though he laughed loudly. Peter smiled slightly and shrugged. 

“I’m just curious.”

“Well, keep your curiosity to yourself,” James said. 

“It’s interesting though, that he would take such an interest in you,” Peter said, growing oddly serious with each word. “I mean there so many of us who would love to —”

“Okay, enough,” James said, turning away from him. “Keep your crush on them to yourself.” He had thrown the words over his shoulder as he walked away, still chuckling lightly. 

“My crush?” Peter asked faintly, but James ignored him, walking quickly to class. 

He had already forgotten that his next class had Rita in it, and he regretted not better preparing himself when he walked in and sat next to her in his usual seat. The classroom was too warm, as Flitwick almost always kept it, and James could feel himself growing sweaty under his clothes. 

“Hello, James,” she said, a predatory smile on her perfectly painted lips. 

“Rita,” he greeted, pulling out his new Calculus textbook and pointedly avoiding her eyes. He hoped Flitwick would start class soon. 

“I’ve been dying to talk to you,” she whispered. He thought she might have been trying to sound friendly, but the venom in her words made it impossible for him to hear her without suffocating. 

“Whatever you heard from Gilderoy isn’t true,” James said quickly. He wondered how long it would take for everyone to move on. He knew the bruise on his face wasn’t helping, especially given the way Gilderoy had apparently made it seem like he was the cause, but still, James hoped people would just let it go. 

“Oh, is it?” she said. She was twisting a pink pen between her manicured fingers and every couple of seconds it would smack against the table with a snapping noise. “So you didn’t go home with Regulus?”

“Regulus just drove me home,” he said, trying to sound diplomatic. He didn’t think it would help him to let his impatience filter in through his words. 

“Strange that you were with him at all,” Rita commented, “given that your date was left to eat dinner alone.” 

“Not that strange,” he mumbled. “People have bad dates all the time. It’s nobody’s fault.” 

“If you say so,” she said. “I am curious though —”

James was in the middle of trying to stop himself from rolling his eyes where she could see when Flitwick began class, effectively cutting off her line of questioning. He was able to avoid her the entire class period, and Flitwick held him back just as Sprout did. 

“I actually am a bit behind on my homework,” James admitted to the man. “If I could just have an extension till next week.”

“Oh, of course, Mr. Potter,” Flitwick said sympathetically. “Take as long as you need. Between you and me, I think you might be the only student bothering to turn in anything on time.” 

James wasn't sure how to respond to that, and opted to just let the comment lie, leaving before Flitwick could tell him anything else about his fellow students. He was rushing to the cafeteria, excited to see Regulus again and wondering if they would sit together or if Regulus would want to sit with his family when Gilderoy stepped out from behind a corner. 

“Oh,” James shouted in surprise when he nearly crashed into the man. “Sorry, I didn't see you there.” It was only then that he noticed how oddly silent it was around them. Everyone must have already been in the cafeteria, leaving them alone on the school grounds. The rain was beginning to pick up, and it sounded heavy against the metal roofing that covered the walkways. James might have found the sound comforting under other circumstances. 

He didn’t know how he was expecting Gilderoy to react, perhaps he would be angry with him or maybe he would try to initiate the fake fight that he’d told everyone they’d had. He wasn’t sure, but what he wasn’t expecting was for Gilderoy to suddenly look mournful and piteous. 

“Of course, James. I know it must be so hard to see where you’re going with that bruise on your face,” Gilderoy said with an over-the-top pout on his lips. He reached up like he was going to touch it, and James leaned out of the way slightly.

“It’s really fine,” he said with a slight roll of his eyes. He tried to sidestep Gilderoy, but Gilderoy just stepped with him, staying in his way. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Gildeory said. 

James sighed. “About what? Scared that I’m going to reveal that you lied to the entire school?”

Gildeory didn’t even have the common decency to look scared by that, instead, he just looked sad like James had hurt his feelings. 

“I just wanted to say,” Gilderoy said, taking a fortifying breath, “that I forgive you.”

“You… you forgive me?” James asked incredulously. 

“I know that you must have been confused that night, there was no other explanation for why you would run off with Regulus Black. So, I’ve given it some thought, and I’m prepared to offer you a second chance,” Gilderoy said with a proud smile. 

“A — a second chance?” James asked. He was truly gaping at him now, his mouth hung open in shock.

“Don’t look so surprised,” Gilderoy said. “I’m fully capable of being mature about this.” He winked, throwing James a flirty smile. 

James snapped his mouth shut and ground his teeth together. “Gildeory, let me make myself perfectly clear,” he ground out. 

“Of course,” Gilderoy said, still smiling like he couldn’t even begin to understand why James might be mad at him. 

“I am never — not ever — going to go out with you again.” 

Gilderoy looked shocked. “You don’t mean that,” he said. 

“I really, really do,” James said, finally successfully sidestepping him and stomping into the cafeteria. It felt like the entire room turned to look at him when he entered and he had to repress a growl. He noticed Regulus sitting alone, his family a few tables over, and he quickly beelined toward him, slamming his bag down on the table and sitting heavily in the chair across from him. 

“Bad day?” Regulus asked. “You could have stayed home.” 

“You’re the one who showed up in my driveway,” James grumbled. “Maybe I was going to stay home and you forced him to come.” 

Regulus laughed musically. “I’ll happily take whatever blame you want to give me.” 

James couldn’t put his finger on why, but that statement made him feel incredibly sad and he looked up at Regulus with regret. He wasn’t actually mad at him, it wasn’t his fault that Gilderoy was an awful idiot. 

“Aww, don’t look so pouty,” Regulus said, his smile deceptively sweet like an enticing fruit that would kill a person in a minute flat if they took a bite. “So, no interest in going out with Gildeory again, then?” 

“Definitely not,” James said emphatically. “I only said yes the first time because —” He snapped his mouth closed before he could say anymore, his words were getting away from him. Regulus was already smirking though. 

“I was curious, why did you say yes to him?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” James said quickly. “How has your day been so far?” 

“Better all the time," Regulus said with a small smile. James felt himself relax even as his heart thudded loudly in his chest. He hadn’t thought about it before, but he wanted to ask now whether Regulus could hear it. Did he have super hearing like he had super speed? He decided against asking it right then though. He didn't know if his siblings had been told that he knew their secret and he didn’t think it would be fair to reveal it right now if it was possible they would overhear him. 

As they settled into a normal conversation during lunch, Regulus slowly began to bombard James with questions. They started easy, just a few simple ones. 

“What kind of work did you do in New York?” or “Tell me about your friends there.” But it quickly grew into questions that James was either embarrassed to not know the answer to or questions he was too overwhelmed by to answer in public. 

“Where in India is your family from?” 

“Uh,” James said, “I don’t know. Or maybe I used to know. I don’t remember. My grandparents died when I was little, and my dad never talks about it.”

“Why not?” 

“I think he was embarrassed by it growing up,” James answered. “Like he didn’t fit in with the other white Americans that he went to school with, so he just tried to forget everything about his culture that he could. Of course, my grandfather also tried hard to get him to assimilate into American culture. They never spoke any language beyond English at home, and they rarely made meals that were out of the norm.” 

“I remember you said your mom tried to learn and make dishes for you,” Regulus said. 

“Yeah. I’m not sure if she knew more than I did, or if she just started making Indian cuisine from all over the country. There are a lot of different people groups with a lot of different languages and cultures, but most of those recipes and cultural aspects are spread through family so I’m sure she just used what she could find on the internet.” 

“That’s sweet though, that she did.” 

“It was,” James agreed. “I should have… I don’t know, I wish I had asked her more about it. I doubt my dad would want to talk about it. I don’t think he’s eaten anything like that since she died. I think it’s painful for him.”

“Understandable. Who was the first person you ever dated?” Regulus asked, not leaving even a moment of silence before jumping to the next question. James oddly appreciated it though, he didn’t want to dwell on his mother’s death in the middle of lunch. However, this question in particular made him feel silly. Not to mention that it brought something up for him that he didn’t want to think about: how many people had Regulus dated? How many people had he been with? He shook off the thought. 

“Does the girlfriend I had in middle school count? We only dated for three weeks and she kissed me once before deciding that boys were gross and breaking up with me.” 

Regulus laughed quietly. “Sure, I think she counts.” 

They nearly missed class after spending so much time talking but managed to make it there right on time. Gilderoy gave them dirty looks the entire time, but James found it easy to ignore him now that Regulus was by his side. They parted ways for their last classes, and James was relieved to see Lily smiling at him when he walked into History. 

“Looking good, James,” she said with a sharp smile. He wondered if she knew what happened to him. 

“You think so?” he said with his best smirk. “Guess you like them a little more rugged.” 

Her eyes twinkled with humor. “Careful, Pandora might make you even more rugged if she hears you talking to me like that.” 

“I’ll watch out for her,” he said back with a grin, purposefully not thinking about how Pandora could potentially know about every time he jerked off to the thought of Regulus. He looked over to find Peter watching the two of them with his mouth hanging open. James gave him a questioning look, but Peter looked away quickly without speaking. 

Regulus drove James home while peppering him with more questions about his life, mostly about his childhood and his time in New York. He drove way too fast, as always, and before he knew it, they were back at his house. James was regretful to see him leave. 

“Do you want to come in?” James asked, trying to keep his voice even. 

“Better not,” Regulus said stiffly. “I don’t think I would be welcome in there tonight.” 

“Huh?” James asked. 

“I’ll see you Monday, all right?” 

It was a clear dismissal, and James felt a little confused as to what caused Regulus’s change in attitude so quickly. 

“Okay,” James said. He tried not to sound too disappointed, but he didn’t think he succeeded. He climbed out of the car, and Regulus was gone before he even reached the front door. It wasn’t until he walked inside that he realized there was another car out front. 

“Hey, James. Look who’s here!”

“Dad, you don’t have to say that every single time,” James said, laughing slightly. He came around the corner into the kitchen to find Remus and Lyall waiting for him. He grinned at them, but his face fell quickly when he noticed the stormy expression on Lyall’s face. Remus was cringing next to him, eyeing his father unhappily.

Chapter Text

The moment James was safely inside, Regulus pulled out of James’s driveway at a normal speed, but he slammed on the gas the second he was out of sight. He didn’t go far, just a few blocks down the road, and pulled his car over so that he could park right along the tree line. He got out, double-checking that he wasn’t being watched, a quick flick of his power showed that nearly everyone who lived on the street wasn’t likely to be returning until later that evening. Satisfied, he rushed back to James’s house, hiding in the forest so that he could overhear what was being said without being seen. 

“I thought you would already be here,” a man said, it took just a bit of searching to realize it was Lyall Lupin. Regulus hadn’t ever met Lyall — he hadn’t talked to any member of the Daturachin tribe, Sirius was always the one to speak with them — but he’d heard the name before. “We saw your truck out front.” 

“Oh, right,” James said joyfully as if he couldn’t feel the tension in the room. There was no way James was that oblivious. Even Regulus could sense the pressure from where he was standing. “My — A friend drove me to school today.” My what? The unspoken words were like glass shredding his skin, the curiosity damaging and annoying. 

“Is this the one who you went on a date with?” Fleamont Potter asked. James’s father sounded like he was frowning. Regulus could see many overlapping moments of his father looking unhappy in various parts of the house and the backyard. He was a troubled man, probably due to his wife’s death, and he was obviously worried about James. Regulus would find it sweet if it wasn’t for the discontent he sensed from James about their father-son relationship. 

“No, Dad,” James said. Regulus could practically feel him rolling his eyes. 

“You had a date?” Remus asked. James had spoken about Remus a few times, but Regulus still struggled to understand their relationship to each other. Especially with the tenderness in Remus’s voice. Sometimes he wondered if he should feel jealous. 

“Yes,” James responded. “With Gilderoy Lockhart. It ended just as badly as I thought it would.” 

Regulus smirked before biting his lip. While that night was tainted with the attack James had endured, his clear disdain for the boy working for his attention made Regulus want to throw James onto his bed and devour him. He’d never been very good at sharing and he could already feel this becoming a problem. 

“Is he the reason for the…” Remus trailed off with an uncomfortable cough. 

“Oh, no,” James said quickly. “That was unrelated, not a big deal.” 

“Who was it that drove you to school then?” Fleamont asked. Regulus could hear James’s heart rate jump. He wondered if the thought of him made James nervous, or if he could sense the disapproval coming from Lyall Lupin. 

“Just a friend.” James paused, then muttered, “Regulus.”

“Regulus Black?” Lyall asked. 

“Dad,” Remus whispered warningly. He spoke so lowly that Regulus was sure neither James nor Fleamont would be able to hear it. 

“Do you know him?” Fleamont asked. 

Lyall waited for a beat before responding. “No, I don’t. That family though—”

“Yeah, his brother is the town vet,” Fleamont said cheerfully. “Hagrid’s always visiting him, says he’s the best vet they’ve had in years.”

“He’s the only vet they’ve had in years,” Remus said with what sounded like a forced smile. “Before they moved here nearly everyone in Godric’s Hollow had to drive an hour if they wanted to see a proper vet.” 

“I wonder why they chose Godric’s Hollow then,” Fleamont said conversationally. 

There was the sound of pots being banged around, followed by James saying, “Let me handle it,” in a quiet voice. 

“Did Regulus mention it?” Fleamont asked. 

“Huh?” James said, sounding startled. “Did Regulus mention what?” 

“Why he and his family moved here?” Remus said, an obvious smirk in his tone. 

“Oh, no. I hadn’t thought to ask, though I’ll be sure to ask him next time we talk,” James said hurriedly. “Do you guys want to eat in here or in the living room?” 

“Let’s eat in the living room,” Fleamont said. “Say Lyall —” Regulus tuned them out as they moved into the other room, leaving James alone with Remus. 

“So, you started a date with Gilderoy and ended it with Regulus?” Remus said, holding in a laugh. 

James’s heart skipped another beat. “It wasn’t like that,” he mumbled. 

Remus chuckled, but when he spoke next, he had sobered. “What’s with the bruise?” he said in a low voice. 

“It’s really nothing,” James said easily.

There was a beat of silence before Remus said, “James.” He sounded like he was scolding him and Regulus could practically hear James folding. 

“It was just this group of men,” James said quickly, “but it wasn’t a big deal. I — I got away and Regulus came to pick me up.” 

“Did he now?” Remus muttered. “And you’re seeing him again?” 

“Suppose so,” James said. “He did pick me up for school today.”

“Wow, that’s practically a proposal in Godric’s Hollow.” 

“Shut up,” James said, smiling again. Regulus smiled too, a little helplessly. He could perfectly picture the way James’s cheeks would darken with embarrassment. Regulus longed to place his tongue flat against them, to feel the warmth that settled there beneath the skin. 

He decided to leave them to it, his family would be wondering where he was, and he was already going to get enough shit from them without lingering at James’s house all night. He felt vaguely worried about what Lyall might say to James if the two of them ended up alone, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it at the moment beyond barging in and stealing James away. That didn’t seem like a good way to keep the treaty intact. 

He ran back to his car and drove home. It wasn’t that late in the evening by the time he arrived, but Sirius’s motorcycle was already back in the garage when he pulled in to park his car. He opened the door to their living room to find every member of his family waiting for him. Lily looked sympathetic, Pandora and Sirius both looked worried, and Evan and Barty looked apoplectic. 

“Is it already time for another family meeting?” Regulus said. He meant to make the words sound joking, but they came out accusatory instead. 

“This has gone too far,” Evan said instantly. 

“You’re right, it has,” Regulus snapped back. “It’s none of your business what I do.” 

“It is when you show up to school with a human covered in bruises,” Barty said tiredly. He looked angry, but Regulus could feel that not all of his anger was directed at him. So it was Evan then. It was always Evan. At least, that’s how it felt. 

“I didn’t do that to him,” Regulus said needlessly. All of them already knew what happened to James, they also knew how he and Sirius had handled it.

“Why did you allow him to go to school then?” Pandora asked dreamily. She was such a soft woman that people often assumed she was kind, but she had a bizarre way of looking at humans that most of them found unsettling. Even other vampires who saw humans purely as food often found Pandora’s perspective a bit unnerving. 

“I didn’t allow him to do anything,” Regulus responded. He had to work to keep his voice even. “James chose to come to school, I was just there to make sure he didn’t crash his truck and kill someone. Besides, you’re the one who told me he was going to school.” 

Pandora tilted her head. “I thought you might lock him at home.” 

“Liar,” Regulus said. Pandora knew he wasn’t going to do that, she would be able to see, she didn’t get to pull back now and pretend she played no part in this. 

“Hey!” Lily interrupted. “Don’t snap at her.”

“Don’t snap at her? She’s talking about James like he’s a dog that needs to be put down.” 

“She’s not saying that,” Sirius said, but he sounded irritated. “But it doesn’t look good for any of us if James shows up looking like he was beaten half to death.” 

Regulus flinched slightly. “He was going to return to school either way, and I wasn’t going to stop him.” 

“No, you’re just going to trail around after him like you’re a lovesick puppy,” Evan said unhappily. Barty gave Evan a dirty look that Regulus pretended he didn’t see. 

“This isn’t a matter that needs to be discussed,” Regulus said. 

“It is if you’ve decided to tell him what we are,” Sirius said. 

Regulus tensed slightly, realizing his mistake immediately but it was too late to take it back. Lily gasped. “He already has.”

Evan turned to glare at Pandora rather than Regulus. “You knew he was going to do that.”

“Don’t be mad at her,” Lily said instantly. “Regulus is the one who did it.” 

“That’s because Regulus is an idiot,” Evan snarled. “I expect him to put us in danger.”

“Stop it,” Sirius shouted, looking appalled. “James showing up to school like that wasn’t ideal, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s putting us in danger. It’s not like you actually hurt him.” 

“No, but he might as well have, given the way everyone was acting at school,” Barty said. 

“They’ll move on as long as James doesn’t get hurt again,” Lily said. 

Regulus tilted his head back in irritation, he was already exhausted from this conversation, but Lily’s words were the worst part. As long as James didn’t get hurt again. His shoulders slumped. It was bound to happen, wasn’t it? James was bound to get hurt again if he spent time with Regulus, either by Regulus himself or some outside force that Regulus wouldn’t be there to stop. 

He shut down that line of thinking and left the room, abandoning his family to their argument, and walked up to his bedroom. He opened the window so that he could hear the rain that was beginning to pick up. He loved the sound of it hitting the leaves of the trees outside, it always calmed him. 

He wasn’t going to hurt James, he thought. James was safe with him. He had to be. He couldn’t afford to mess this up, he couldn’t put James in danger. Though every breath he took was filled with the intoxicating aroma of James’s blood, he wasn’t a slave to human blood anymore. He had spent years, decades, fighting it and he wasn’t going to lose control now. He couldn’t. 

He wished he hadn’t left James's house. It was much more unpalatable here than it was there. He didn’t want to hear his family arguing about his relationship with James. He would never admit it out loud, but he was already embarrassed by the way his infatuation had overtaken his thoughts. He spent every moment of the day thinking about James, about his warmth and his smile, about the way he bit his lip when Regulus flirted with him, or the way his eyes would sparkle like he couldn’t believe someone was showing him any interest. That alone was ridiculous given the way James looked. He was handsome by any standard, but in Godric’s Hollow, he was basically a supermodel. 

Most of all, he couldn’t stop thinking about his smell. Not just the smell of his blood, though that was certainly a factor considering the way it haunted him, but just his smell in general. It was like his skin was intertwined with something designed by the gods themselves, meant to lure Regulus in. It grew even stronger when James was aroused. 

Regulus could smell it immediately the moment James started to get hard, like the way his blood rushed south was calling to him. He shoved his head out of the window and directly into the rain, letting it wash over his cold skin. He needed to clear his head. He would waste away thinking about James if he didn’t get ahold of himself soon. 

“I’m sorry about that,” Barty said much later in the night. Regulus would guess that it was well after midnight. He had been lost in thought and had barely noticed the time slipping through his fingers. 

“Sorry about what?” Regulus asked because Barty was always the one to smooth things over between Regulus and Evan, and he had to be sure he knew what Barty was apologizing for this time. 

“For cornering you.” 

Regulus gave him a grim smile from over his shoulder. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” Barty said, “but you know how Evan gets.”

“Oh, I know how Evan gets,” Regulus responded with a cruel smirk. 

Barty hit him hard in the shoulder. If Regulus had been human, it would have shattered his arm. Regulus rubbed the spot, chuckling quietly. “You’re such a dick,” Barty said. 

“True.” Regulus shrugged. “Listen, I know that Evan is worried, but I’m not going to mess things up for us.”

“I don’t understand your fascination with James honestly,” Barty replied. “Why not just leave him be? Or fuck him and get it over with so you can move on.” 

“I don’t know,” Regulus muttered. “I tried — when I left, I tried — but something pulled me back. I had to… I had to come back.” He wasn’t usually this inelegant with his words.  

Barty was quiet for a long few minutes, staring out at the rain just as Regulus was. “Maybe if they got to know him a little better,” Barty said quietly. 

“I don’t think Evan is going to like James no matter how much they get to know each other.”

Barty cringed. “Yeah, that’s probably true, but it might put him more at ease.”

“I’m not going to bend over backward just so he stops acting like an asshole.”

“Don’t,” Barty said stiffly. “Don’t call him that.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Are you here to play peacemaker or protective boyfriend?” 

“Protective husband,” Barty mumbled. 

“Ah, ah, ah,” Regulus said mockingly. “Not yet, you’re not. Not with your new identities.” 

“Well, fiancée at least. And anyway, I can play both parts. It’s not like anyone else is going to do it. Sirius is just going to try and neg you into fighting again, and that’s not going to solve anything.” 

Regulus smirked. “It might solve something.”

“Pandora is acting too cagey to get any real opinion out of her,” Barty said, ignoring Regulus’s comment. 

“Pandora thinks I should put James on a leash and walk him around the house on all fours,” Regulus responded snidely. 

“Like you would be opposed,” Barty added. Regulus huffed. “Evan will calm down eventually, he’s not going to go behind your back and hurt James or anything. You just have to let him get out his issues.” 

“I don’t understand why he can’t just drop it.” 

Barty muttered something else below his breath, and Regulus didn’t bother trying to decipher it. He and Evan had been at odds since the first day they met when Sirius saved Evan’s life — or ended it, depending on one's perspective. Sirius had originally thought that Evan would fit right in and, for a bit, he did. Evan and Regulus were involved, but they fought more than they fucked, and it was only a few months before they were at each other’s throats and had to break things off. 

Sirius kept having to pull them apart, though he always seemed to enjoy their fighting more than he was disturbed by it. Regulus just found it annoying. He expected Evan to leave them once they’d finally separated, but he hung around. Evan clearly liked Sirius more than Regulus, a fact that annoyed Regulus to no end, and so he felt no need to leave their little family. It was just the three of them then. 

Things got better when Evan met Barty, but even then, he and Regulus never quite got along. It didn’t help that he turned on every single person that Regulus showed even a modicum of interest in. Barty would never admit it out loud, always attributing Evan’s dickish behavior to something else, but Regulus was sure he was jealous.  

“Do you want to go hunting?” Barty asked suddenly. 

“Now that’s an idea.” Regulus grinned. 

They didn’t invite the others. Regulus didn’t even bother looking to see where they’d all gone before he and Barty were off into the forest. They didn’t go far that night, only a couple hundred miles north, but it was enough to get an adequate amount of blood to satiate him for a few days. He loved hunting with Barty the best. Sirius was too playful, Evan and the girls were too serious, but Barty was the perfect middle ground, playful enough to keep things interesting but not so much that he would make them stay out there for days. 

He didn’t go home the next morning with Barty. It was still before sunrise when they returned, and he quickly headed back to James’s house, almost against his will, certainly without thinking about it. He could hear the heartbeats and deep breaths of James and Fleamont inside the house. It was easy to separate James’s from his father’s as if Regulus was already attuned to hearing it. He supposed he was from the nights he’d spent lingering outside the house. 

He’d even gone in a few times, each time leaving feeling embarrassed and ashamed that he would do such a thing. How else would he get to hear James moan his name in his sleep if he hadn’t broken in though? He didn’t regret it, but he wasn’t sure it was something he was willing to share. Evan and Barty would never let him live it down. 

He left just as James was waking up that morning, returning home so that he could shower and change his clothes. He always felt gross after hunting. Though he'd gotten better at hunting animals over the years and rarely made a mess, he couldn’t ever get over the feeling of their fur against his fingers. 

“I don’t know how you manage this just to turn around and heal people’s pets,” Regulus once said to Sirius a few years after he went to veterinary school. Sirius just shrugged. 

“It’s the circle of life,” Sirius responded with a shrug. Regulus still found it a bit disdainful, but he had to eat, and he couldn’t bear the guilt of killing any more innocent humans. 

He showered in scalding water and left his room to find everyone else. Barty and Evan were long gone, probably off in their cottage deep in the forest. He noticed Pandora out in the rain, lying flat on the grass. He knew better than to disturb her when she was thinking. He found Lily and Sirius in the study playing a very tense and silent game of chess. 

“You’re back,” Sirius said in surprise. He was unobservant for a vampire, never as aware of his surroundings as he should be. 

“Yes, I know you were so worried,” Regulus said petulantly, throwing himself onto the couch near them. 

“Yeah, worried you were invading James’s bedroom again,” Lily muttered. 

Regulus gasped dramatically, putting one hand against his chest like he was clutching pearls. “Lily! I would never,” he hissed. Lily smirked at him. 

“No, of course not. You’re a perfect little angel.”

“I am,” he said with a decisive nod. Sirius snickered. 

Lily frowned suddenly. “You really should work to smooth things over with Evan,” Lily said. 

Regulus sighed. “Yes, thank you, Mom. I’m not the one causing problems here.” 

Lily and Sirius shared a look and Regulus glanced away unhappily. He considered the merits of storming off, but that seemed like it would make him feel too much like a little kid. He always felt like he was younger than both of them, though he and Sirius were very close in age and Lily was nearly a hundred years younger than they were. He thought it had something to do with the age they were changed, Sirius in his early thirties and Lily in her late twenties. 

He wasted the day with them watching as they played different games of chess, then checkers when chess got boring, then Clue, then Guess Who? He drifted in and out of watching them, enjoying the lazy feel of the day. With so much time on their hands, there was only so much they could do to waste it. 

When night fell they settled into the living room, lowering the shades so that they could watch movies. Regulus didn’t even bother keeping up with what they were watching, tuning them all out immediately. Pandora had finally come in from outside and she pulled Lily into her lap the moment she was sitting on the couch. Regulus was careful not to look at them, he got enough of an eye full when he accidentally used his power in the wrong place in the house.

He spent much of the next day doing the same. He didn’t go back to James’s house, still a bit unnerved by Lily calling him out for it even though she was joking. He vaguely wondered how she knew, but ultimately assumed that Pandora must have told her. He could only hope that Barty and Evan hadn’t heard. James needed time with his father anyway. He didn’t want to monopolize his time. Well, he did want to, but he was trying to control himself. 

“Are we driving ourselves again?” Evan asked snidely Monday morning. 

“Yep,” Regulus replied cheerfully. “You can walk for all I care.” 

“I’m going to hit you with my car.”

“I’m actually the one driving,” Lily said. 

Evan glared at her halfheartedly before stomping out to the garage. Regulus followed at a distance and managed to leave the house without any further confrontations. He arrived at James early, pulling into the driveway to wait. 

He could hear Fleamont drifting around inside and Regulus even caught him looking curiously through the window in the front of the house. The tint on Regulus’s car windows was too dark for Fleamont to get a look at him, but Regulus could see him searching. He wondered if Fleamont might come out to talk to him, but based on what he could see, it looked like Fleamont was very non-confrontational. Regardless, it wasn’t long before Regulus heard James hurrying down the stairs, shouting a quick goodbye to his father as he went. 

He rushed out the front door jogging halfway to Regulus’s car before stopping, spinning around, and running back to the door to lock it. Regulus chuckled to himself as James jogged back. 

“Hey,” James greeted breathlessly as he climbed into the car. Regulus could feel the warmth radiating off of him, it filled the car with his intoxicating scent the moment his heart beat. Regulus took a discreet breath in through his nose. Even if James knew what he was, it wasn’t proper for him to know that Regulus was smelling him like that. 

“Good morning, James,” Regulus said with a gentle smile. He wanted to reach over and touch him, but he held himself back, opting to put the car in reverse and pull out of his driveway. “How was your weekend?” 

“Boring,” James said instantly, he looked out the side window at the trees rushing past before glancing back with a grin on his face. “How about you?” 

“Boring,” Regulus responded, mirroring James’s smile helplessly. “How was dinner with the Lupins?” 

Regulus wasn’t sure what was in his tone, but whatever it was made the smile drop from James’s face a bit. He bit his lip uncertainly. “It was fine. Remus’s dad is a bit… overprotective.” 

Regulus tensed slightly, consciously forcing himself to relax so that he didn’t destroy the steering wheel in his hands. “What do you mean?” 

James’s heart sped up for a second, but he shrugged like he was unbothered. “It’s nothing. He’s just worried. Everyone thinks you caused my bruises. It’s a bit unfair actually considering none of them are willing to listen to me.” He paused for a second, fiddling with his nails like he didn’t care. “Except Remus. He believes me.” 

“Oh, right, Remus,” Regulus said as evenly as he could manage. James gave him a side-eyed look. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I told him what happened, that I was cornered by those men and that you got me out of there.”

“What did Remus have to say about it?” 

“He just wanted to make sure I was okay,” James said. “He’s a good friend. I think you would like him.”

Regulus barked a laugh that sounded a little too close to Sirius’s laugh for his liking. He couldn’t help thinking about what Barty said about Evan getting to know James. Some people were just bound to hate each other. 

“What?” James asked, looking startled and delighted. 

“Nothing, I just doubt Lyall Lupin would appreciate me becoming friends with his son.”

James frowned. “He’s just concerned, but if he knew you he wouldn’t act like that. Although, I would appreciate him keeping his opinions to himself,” James muttered the last bit under his breath. Regulus smiled softly. James had the tenderness about him, even when he was annoyed, that Regulus found unbelievably endearing. He’d never been drawn in by softness in a person before, always seeking out the meanest person in the room. There was just something about James. 

“I wanted to ask you something,” Regulus said, deciding to change the subject. He wanted to know exactly what Lyall had said to James, but at the same time, he didn’t want to push, and he already knew that it wouldn’t solve anything. It would just bother him and he had enough to haunt him without those words playing a part. 

“Yeah?” James asked, he was back to grinning, his teeth white and straight. One of his canines was chipped on the side and Regulus found himself insatiably curious about how it happened. 

“It’s supposed to be nice tomorrow. I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere with me.” 

James’s smile stretched even wider if that was even possible. “Like a date?” His eyes glittered. 

Regulus pursed his lips as if he were considering it. “We’ll see.”

James laughed. “Yes, I’d love to. What did you have in mind?”

“It’s a surprise.” 

Chapter Text

It was easier to be at school after a weekend of healing. Though the bruise on his face was still a nasty green color, it looked much less conspicuous than it did on Friday. Plus, most students had lost interest in whatever terrible thing had happened to him and the staring was down considerably. 

He was floating on a wave of endorphins after riding in Regulus’s car again that morning. He knew that he should feel more embarrassed by the way his body buzzed pleasantly under Regulus’s attention, but he couldn’t help it. There was something so intoxicating about it all, especially having those sharp gray eyes on him. He thought that he could get high off of it if he really tried. 

“I can’t believe you talked him into driving you to school again,” Peter said with a suggestive grin. 

James bristled slightly, but his heart wasn’t really in it. “I didn’t talk him into doing anything,” he chided gently. “He just showed up.”

“Wow,” Peter said, his eyes distant and dazed like he was imagining what he would have to do to get the same treatment. “What’s he like when it’s just the two of you?”

James shrugged slightly. “Not that different than he is usually. He smiles more, but he’s a serious guy. I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Wow,” Peter repeated. He eyed James, his eyes dragging up and down in a way that made James want to cover himself. 

“What?” he asked nervously. 

Peter shook his head as if clearing it. “Nothing,” he said, chuckling uncomfortably and turning back to his paper. James wondered vaguely if Peter had a crush on Regulus. He wouldn’t blame him if he did, but there was also that uncomfortable jealousy that he had to contend with when he thought about someone else looking at Regulus the same way he did. 

James dismissed the conversation shortly after that — it was a bit of a task, but he managed to shake it off — and he didn’t think about it again until he was in the car with Regulus at the end of the day. 

“Good day?” James asked even though he’d sat with Regulus at lunch and had an entire class with him. 

Regulus hummed. His sharp eyes were tracking someone outside the car. James followed his gaze to see Peter jogging to his vehicle. 

“What?” James asked. 

“Is Pettigrew interested in you?” Regulus asked without looking away from Peter who had now dropped his keys into a puddle and was trying to get them out without falling in. 

James barked a laugh in surprise. “No,” he said, dismissing the decision to tell Regulus that James was not the one Peter had a crush on. “Why do you ask that?” 

Peter finally managed to grab his keys, and as he stood up, he turned his head and looked directly at them. Regulus moved unnaturally fast, not quite the blinding speed that he could move at, but still a little faster than a normal human would. James didn’t even have time to take a breath before Regulus’s tongue was in his mouth, sliding against his teeth, his lips soft and crushing. 

James forgot about Peter altogether. Kissing Regulus was like dying and being reborn all in the same millisecond, it was like being consumed by fire all while wearing a coat made of ice. It made James completely stupid if he was honest. Not a single thought could escape the way Regulus felt against him. James gasped when Regulus pulled away, settling back into his seat, a triumphant smirk on his lips. 

James blinked blearily, looking around in confusion, and glancing over just in time to watch Peter pull out of the parking lot. Right, Peter, James had forgotten that he existed. He had forgotten that anyone existed, even himself. He realized what had happened only a second later, and he gave Regulus a curious look. 

“You are a surprisingly jealous person, did you know that?” James said, withholding a smile with every muscle on his face. 

Regulus frowned slightly. “Sorry,” he said. 

James finally let his smile loose, laughing quietly. “I’m not complaining.”

Regulus looked up with a surprised expression before his face melted back into the triumphant smirk that he had worn a moment earlier. “Oh, I see. I should have known that’s what you were into. What with your attempt to make me jealous with Gilderoy.”

James flushed, looking away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t,” Regulus said easily, throwing the car into drive. 

James waited for a beat before he said, “Did it work?”

Regulus laughed, the sound zipping up James’s spine pleasantly. “What do you think?” 

James couldn’t be sure. Though Regulus had shown up that night when he was on a date with Gilderoy, he didn’t do so until James was in danger. He didn’t flinch when thinking about it, but it still felt like tonguing a cold sore, that sharp pain stinging him before fading back where it belonged. 

“So, tomorrow?” James asked as they approached his house. It never took long for them to make it home with the way Regulus drove, and James always found himself wishing that he would drive just a tad slower so they would have longer together. 

“I’ll pick you up at eight unless that's too early for you?” He grinned as he said it, as if the thought of James asking to change the time was unthinkable. 

“Yeah,” James replied with a gentle smile of his own. It took him a moment to realize that they were both just staring at each other, grinning, before Regulus’s eyes cleared slightly. 

“We’re here,” he whispered, “by the way.” 

“Oh,” James said. He chuckled uncomfortably. “Right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow?” He didn't like how unsure he sounded. He wasn't usually this unsteady. 

"You will.” Regulus’s voice was firm, his smile warm. James had the sudden unshakable urge to invite Regulus up to his bedroom. He had been there before, so he didn't understand why the prospect made him feel so nervous. He wasn’t even going to ask him, yet his heart was racing. Regulus's eyebrows furrowed just slightly, a question in his eyes. 

“Okay, bye!” James yelped before Regulus could voice it. He jumped out of the car and practically sprinted to the door, not looking back in case Regulus was still watching. His heart didn’t slow until the door was shut and locked behind him. 

He breathed out a harsh breath and shook himself, feeling oddly foolish. It wasn’t that James could be considered suave in any context, but he'd dated before, he'd kissed, he'd had sex, there was no reason for him to feel so nervous. He was acting like a fourteen-year-old in the way his thoughts kept drifting back to Regulus, the thought of being near him or having him in such a private place making his palms sweat. 

He moved through the house a second later, once he'd managed to chastise himself fully for his stupid, horny brain, and went looking for his father. He expected him to be in the kitchen or maybe the living room, but he was outside again, sitting on the back porch. It must have been a bad day. 

The night before hadn't been too bad, their house was full with the sounds of voices and football, the smell of food cooking making the rooms seem lively and homey, but his father seemed to sink into himself a bit the moment Lyall and Remus left. It was like he was a marionette whose strings were held up by the prospect of company. 

James almost wished that Lyall had stayed longer, not too long of course, and not anywhere that he could speak with James. Jesus, their conversation had been awkward. James had known that the Daturachin tribe knew, at least in theory, what Regulus and his family were, but he'd thought it might have been more of a silly myth given the way Remus had told the story. Especially given the way that their myth wasn’t even entirely correct. 

However, he had not been expecting Lyall to corner him in the hallway when he was coming back from the bathroom so that he could give him a talk that was akin to his mother telling him not to get a girl pregnant while he was in high school. It was all said in code — you have to be careful, always put safety first, best not to engage at all if you don't know what you're doing — but James understood the gist. 

Remus had been the one to rescue him, poking his head around the corner when James was in the process of pressing his back against the wall as if it might swallow him up and help him disappear from Lyall’s unsettling and knowing gaze. 

“Everything all right?” Remus had asked uncertainly. “Dad?” 

“Oh, of course," Lyall had responded, not even bothering to look at his son. “Remember what I said, James. Remember.” 

James had been so embarrassed that he thought he was going to sink out of his skin and through the floor. Remus had apologized profusely, but James just kept waving him off. It didn’t matter that much, it wasn’t like Lyall could stop him and he highly doubted that he would bring it up to Fleamont. Still, he was vaguely worried that it might cause issues for Regulus or his family. He'd meant to bring it up first thing, but Regulus was distracting. 

He resolved to bring it up the next morning so that at least Regulus would be aware. Right away, he told himself, no dilly-dallying. 

“Dad, I’m home from school,” he said, opening the door just a sliver so no water would get inside. There was a cover over the back porch, but the porch itself was slightly tilted and small bits of water tended to seep back toward the door when it rained. His dad didn’t reply, he didn't even look up. “Dad?” 

“Oh! Oh, James, sorry. I didn't see you there," Fleamont said, turning slightly. “Did you just get in from New York?" 

“No, Dad,” he said softly. He hadn’t noticed before, but his dad was sitting only half under the awning and his entire left side was drenched. "Why don't you come inside? Let's get you cleaned up."

“Oh, no, that’s all right. Think I'll just wait out here a little longer. Your mom should be home soon." 

James’s chest hurt, his throat growing tight. “Mom wouldn't like it if you were soaking wet. At least change your clothes.” 

Fleamont stared off for a moment and James wasn't sure he was going to reply at all before he nodded firmly and stood up. James spent the rest of the evening getting his father into the shower and then into some dry clothes before feeding him dinner. He seemed to come back to himself as the night went on, but James continued to worry. 

"I'm thinking we should make a doctor's appointment,” James said gently as they finished eating. 

“Why?” Fleamont asked. 

“Earlier, you seemed a little out of it —”

“That was nothing,” Fleamont said fiercely. “I was just feeling tired.”

“Dad, you were acting like you didn’t know why I was here. You brought up Mom coming home.”

"I was just tired. I don't need to go to the doctor."

“Dad! This could be serious, something could be going on with you, we need to —”

“This is my decision, not yours!”

“I came here to take care of you, why won’t you let me?”

"I am the parent here, not you. I’m fine, James. Drop it.” He shoved back from the table and lumbered up the stairs. James pushed out a long breath as he watched him go, the weight of everything bearing down on him, impossibly heavy. 

He wondered if he should stay home the next day, and try to take care of his father. If he went into another thing like he had earlier, where he didn't remember when it was, then he could end up hurting himself. Selfishly though, he wanted to go on his date with Regulus. He really wanted to go on his date with Regulus. 

He glanced at the clock, it was only 8:30, not too late to call. He grabbed his phone quickly and dialed Remus's number. 

“Yeah?" Remus answered on the second ring. 

“Hey, I need a favor,” James said quietly. He'd heard his father’s door close upstairs but who knew how sound traveled in that old house. 

“Yeah,” Remus repeated. “Somethings wrong?” He said it like a question but there was a certainty there that made James feel such a strong rush of fondness that he oddly felt like crying. He and Remus barely knew each other, yet he already felt closer to him than he had to any of his New York friends. 

“My dad, he had this... I don't know, episode, and I don't want to leave him alone tomorrow.”

"Where are you going tomorrow?” 

“I have to run an errand for school,” he said, lying easily. He had no idea why the lie slipped out of his mouth though, why it felt necessary. “Do you think you could ask your dad to come over and spend the day with him? Just so he's not alone.”

Remus was quiet for a long moment. “Yes, I don't see why not. What time?”

“Maybe eight,” James said, then he thought of Lyall potentially seeing Regulus pick James up. “Actually, let's make it nine.” His father would be fine on his own for an hour. Hopefully. 

After hanging up, James leaned forward, pushing his plate out of the way, and dropped his head onto the table, his forehead knocking against the wood with a quiet thump . He didn't want to dwell on this, especially with such an exciting day tomorrow, but he knew this wouldn't be the end of things. He highly doubted this was an isolated incident. He wondered how many times it had happened before he’d moved in with his father. 

He slept poorly that night, unsurprisingly, and when he woke up the next morning, he lay in bed for half an hour wondering if he was a bad son for leaving his father. They’d had such a tense relationship after James first left home when he was eighteen. Though his mother worked hard to smooth things over, there was always a disconnect between them. 

He loved his father, of course, he did, but it was hard to come back, to leave his life in New York, the life he’d built for himself, so that he could take care of his father who didn’t even seem to want him there. He wondered if his mother would be disappointed in him, if she would think that he wasn’t trying hard enough. But what else was he supposed to do? 

Ultimately, he decided to put it aside for the day. It was just one day. He’d uprooted his life, he was here, and he was taking care of his father. He deserved one day to himself. It didn’t take him long to get ready, but he realized when he got out of the shower that he had no idea what they were going to do that day so he didn’t know how to dress. 

It wasn’t raining too hard, but that could always change at a moment’s notice, so he decided to wear some jeans, comfortable boots, and a thin long-sleeve Henley. He grabbed a rain jacket as well, just in case. His father wasn’t up yet when he went downstairs, so he quickly climbed the stairs and cracked open Fleamont’s bedroom door just to make sure he was all right. He was still snoring loudly. He was a creature of habit though and James knew that he likely had an alarm set for 9 am, a late alarm just to make sure he was out of bed. 

He left him to sleep. Lyall would be over later and the two of them could spend the day together. He didn’t bother to leave a note, Remus had no doubt told Lyall that James was doing stuff for school today and he would pass on the message to Fleamont. 

He was in the kitchen debating whether he should grab something quick to eat when there was a soft knock at the door. The clock read 7:50 am. Regulus was early. He opened the door quickly to find Regulus on his doorstep looking like he’d walked straight off the set of a movie. His hair was perfectly styled, the curls falling gracefully around his sharp face, and James desperately wanted to run his fingers through them. He put his hands in his pockets to keep himself under control. 

“Morning,” Regulus said with a gentle smile, his eyes sparkling. The gray was so bright that it nearly looked silver, the amber circle around his pupil adding a depth that made James want to learn to paint just so he could replicate it.

“Morning,” James replied breathlessly. 

“Ready?” Regulus nodded to his car. 

James only nodded, grabbing his jacket and keys before locking the front door and following Regulus out into the drizzling rain. He was halfway to Regulus’s car when he realized that Lyall might find it suspicious that he’d left his truck while running an errand. 

“What is it?” Regulus asked when he noticed that James had stopped watching. 

James cringed slightly. “Do you mind if I drive?”

Regulus’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why?” he asked. 

“It’s a long story, but Lyall is coming over and I just don’t want him to ask questions.” Regulus’s eyebrows furrowed even more. “Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything. Sorry, I know this is annoying.”

“James,” Regulus interrupted. “It’s fine. Give me ten minutes, I’ll be back without my car.”

James blew out a guilty sigh and went to wait under the front porch awning. He felt stupid despite Regulus’s easy agreement. He was in the middle of berating himself for not asking earlier when Regulus came jogging around the corner lazily. 

“All right, let’s go,” Regulus said, grinning. James smiled back, though it felt a bit shaky on his face. They climbed into his truck, James in the driver’s seat, and he quickly pulled out of the driveway. It was odd to have Regulus in the car with him, he was so used to Regulus driving them. It made him feel nervous like he was sixteen again, trying to pass a test to get his driver’s license. 

“Where to?” James asked once they were a block away from his house. 

Regulus directed him easily, telling him the next turns to take, but never exactly where they were headed. They headed toward the highway, then traveled a few dozen miles outside of town. They’d been driving for about 45 minutes when Regulus told him to turn onto a tiny gravel road that ended at a small trailhead. 

“We’re hiking?” James asked. 

“Yeah, I hope you're up for it,” Regulus said, partially questioning and partially a challenge. His smirk was full of mirth. 

“Oh, I’m up for it,” James replied with a laugh. He parked his truck in the grass and jumped out of the car. He was heading over to Regulus’s door to open it for him but Regulus was already out, leaning against the hood, moving without James catching it. “Show off.” 

Regulus threw his head back and laughed. James’s cheeks hurt from smiling so widely. Regulus reached forward and tangled his fingers with James’s and began pulling him into the forest, a sharp right turn from there where the trail opened up. 

“The trailhead is that way,” James said, pointing with his thumb even as he trailed after Regulus. 

“I know,” Regulus said, not even bothering to turn his head to look at James. James chuckled slightly but didn’t question him further. The forest was incredibly dense, the moment they crossed into its borders, the world outside the trees disappeared. Even the light rain couldn’t touch them, though it appeared to be clearing up anyway. 

He tied his raincoat around his waist and rolled his sleeves up as they walked, the thick and humid air sticking to his skin uncomfortably. He wished he’d worn something a little lighter, but they were too deep in it now. 

It had been a long time since he’d gone on a real hike, one without a trail, and he found himself stumbling frequently, his boots catching on roots and rocks. Regulus was patient with him, not laughing once, but James still found that his face was bright red with embarrassment. They didn’t talk much for the first hour. James had to focus on where he was walking and Regulus seemed content to let the silence lie. 

He was comforted by the sounds of birds and wildlife off in the forest, lost in thought, when Regulus’s voice startled him. “What was wrong this morning?”

“Huh?” James asked.

“You seemed off,” Regulus said simply. 

“Oh.” James swallowed. “It wasn’t anything to do with you.”

Regulus gave him a soft look. “Something’s worrying you?” 

James considered brushing his question off, changing the subject, or dropping back into companionable silence, but there was something about Regulus’s keen eyes that made him feel safe. It felt like he could tell him anything. 

He sighed very quietly and said, “It’s my dad.”

Regulus’s eyebrows lifted for a split second before his face relaxed back into a polite, neutral expression. “What about him?” 

“You remember I told you about my mom dying? That’s why I moved here in the first place.” He started walking again as he spoke, there was no need to have this conversation standing still in the middle of the forest. 

“I remember,” Regulus said easily. He moved so slowly that he could have been levitating off the ground. 

“Well, my dad wasn’t taking care of himself. I didn’t really know how bad it was, mostly because we barely spoke after I went back to New York once the funeral was over, but I could tell from our limited conversations that things were getting bad. I thought maybe trying to hire a nurse or something to help him, but I just felt so guilty. I couldn’t do it. Hence why I moved here.”

Regulus nodded, his face carefully blank. James wondered what he was thinking, he wondered if Regulus also thought he was a bad son. 

“I’ve been trying to take care of him — cleaning, buying food, cooking, that sort of thing — but yesterday he had this moment where it was like he didn’t know what was going on. He’d been sitting out in the rain and he couldn’t remember that I lived with him now. It was scary.”

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said gently. “That must have been terrible to watch.”

“Right, but it’s not just that.” He was growing frustrated. He didn’t want to show his frustration to Regulus, especially right then, but it was just too much for him. “I thought about hiring a nurse to come to take care of him or even live with him for a while, but I decided not to because I thought he wouldn’t like it. Now I’m wondering if I should have done that. This feels like it’s too much for me to deal with on my own. I feel like I’m failing him.”

“James,” Regulus said, stopping James with a hand on his elbow. “You’re not failing him. He had one episode. That doesn’t mean that you’ve done something wrong or that this is the end of the world. Lots of people go through things like this, not just you and your father. You were there to check on him, that’s more than enough.”

James felt strangely like he might start crying and he bit the inside of his cheek so hard that he tasted blood to keep him from doing so. It wasn’t until Regulus’s nostrils flared almost imperceptively that James realized he shouldn’t do that. 

“Sorry,” he whispered. 

“It’s fine,” Regulus replied, shaking his head. “Why don’t you take your dad to see a doctor? That way you at least have some answers, maybe get an action plan.” 

“He refused,” James said stiffly. “I brought it up last night and he acted like I’d insulted him just for bringing it up.” 

Regulus hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe he just needs a little time. I’m sure it was scary for him too. Try again in a few days, see if that changes anything.”

James sighed again, nodding twice. “Yeah.”

“Now, come on. We’re not far and I think I know the perfect way to get your mind off of things.” He winked and grabbed James’s hand again, pulling him along. 

Chapter Text

Not far turned out to be Regulus speak for three more hours of hiking . James’s legs ached by the time he heard Regulus gasp, a look of childlike joy spreading across his face as he finally caught a glimpse of where they were headed. 

“It’s just up ahead,” he said. James, drenched in sweat by that point, smiled as authentically as he could though it was hard to do when he felt so out of breath. 

“Great,” he said, panting. He heard Regulus chuckle under his breath but decided to valiantly ignore it. The last part of the hike was on a steep incline that left James’s thighs burning. He hadn’t been exercising since moving to Godric’s Hollow and those two months of rest now felt like they might be his undoing. 

They finally pushed through a very thick line of trees, so thick that only a small bit of sunshine managed to cross through them. It made James feel like he was inside of a cave, like he was climbing out from underground, escaping into the world, and touching freedom for the first time. Regulus was behind him now, and his hand brushed against James’s lower back to guide him through the trees. 

James was blinded for a moment when the sun hit his eyes, but he blinked a few times and could finally make out what was in front of him. Pushed up against the tree line were dense patches of flowers, all growing on top of each other like a tiny, colorful jungle. The flowers only acted as a border for what was most likely the main draw of what Regulus wanted James to see. 

Shining brightly in the afternoon sun was a small lake, or perhaps a large pond. The surface of the lake drifted in the wind, the light reflecting off the green water and dancing before James as if in celebration. James gasped as he took in the oasis, the water calling to him not just because of its beauty, but because sweat was drying on the back of his neck making him feel sticky and a bit gross. He could only hope that he didn’t smell too badly. 

“This place is amazing,” James said in wonder. 

“I thought so,” Regulus murmured. His mouth was right next to James’s ear. He placed his hands on James’s hips and pressed his chest up against his back, hooking his chin onto James’s shoulder as if to lock him in place. “Care for a swim?” 

James shivered, goosebumps breaking out across his skin. “Yes,” he whispered. It felt wrong to speak too loudly, the wind and slight waves brushing up against the edge of the pond dominated the clearing like it was their home, a place where only their language could be spoken. He didn’t feel like an intruder though, he felt like an honored guest. 

James felt like he had entered another world. Even the trees around him seemed greener than before, the leaves recovering from winter and dancing in the spring breeze. It almost didn't feel real. He leaned back slightly, feeling Regulus’s strong body against his. He was slightly cold as always, but James found it comforting. He was overheated and still sweating. 

Regulus slipped his cold fingers under the hem of James’s Henley, brushing them against his skin. He drifted them along his stomach enticingly and James gasped in response. His nails were cut short but James could still feel them and his stomach clenched reflexively. Regulus moved his hand down just slightly and unbuckled James’s belt with a quick flick of his wrist. 

James wanted to look down, to watch Regulus’s long, thin fingers work, but he couldn't look away from the clearing in front of him, from the water and the flowers. It was like he was being hypnotized. Regulus unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans painfully slow. 

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to collapse before I make it into the water,” James whispered. 

Regulus chuckled then pressed his lips against James’s neck. James groaned, tilting his head to give him more room. It wasn’t that he was unaware of what Regulus was, or that he had momentarily forgotten, but it was like he didn’t care. It wasn’t like he could stop Regulus if he really wanted to hurt him, but he didn’t think he minded all that much. 

He offered his neck to Regulus even as he began to pull James’s jeans and underwear down his hips slowly. For all James knew, Regulus had just been waiting to get him truly alone so that he could strip him down and devour him alive. James would let him. If that’s what Regulus wanted, then James would give it to him. He felt the keen desire to be perfect for Regulus, to be everything he could want and need. 

Regulus had been moving at a glacier pace, but when James’s jeans were just above his cock, he abruptly yanked them down so they pooled around James’s ankles. The peculiar feeling of direct sunlight on his hard cock drew his attention away from the way Regulus was grazing his teeth very lightly against his skin. 

He looked down and gasped loudly. Regulus’s hands, usually deathly pale, were glittering in the sunlight as if millions of diamonds had been woven into the very fabric of his flesh. 

“Your skin,” James moaned. He hadn’t intended for it to be a moan, but at the exact moment that he went to speak Regulus danced his fingers over the head of his cock. 

“Does it disturb you?” Regulus purred. He was a predator, the world’s best predator, a Venus fly trap meant to lure him in only to close around him and take every ounce of him from himself. 

“No,” James said. “You’re perfect.” 

Regulus rewarded his words by gripping his shift tightly. James groaned, throwing his head back so that it hit Regulus’s shoulder, a bit lower than his but sturdy and safe. Regulus licked up the shell of James’s ear, then whispered, “Take off your clothes and get in the water.”

“Okay,” James said with a nod. He felt drunk, like he was unsteady on his feet, intoxicated, and lost in the effects of Regulus on his body. A second later Regulus vanished from behind him and James was left alone with his jeans and underwear around his ankles. 

He looked behind him, but of course, Regulus was gone. He expected nothing less from him. 

“Regulus?” he called out but received no answer beyond a very light chuckle that carried in with the next breeze. 

James smiled. If this was all some elaborate prank to get him naked in the middle of the forest, then he was falling right into his trap. He shook his head with a smirk. Ridiculous, he thought. He pulled off his Henley, tossing it into a patch of flowers. Then he shucked off his boots and socks, adding his jeans and underwear to the pile. 

He took one careful step into the water, then the next. The water was the perfect temperature, a little cold, but just enough to make him shiver with delight. The sun was hot on his shoulders, warming his hair where it touched his ears. The pond wasn’t very deep, it only went to just below his shoulders by the time he reached the center. He quickly dunked his head beneath the water then lifted up to shake out his curls. 

He took in the clearing from his new perspective, it wasn’t a perfect circle, but it was pretty close. He wondered how something like this could form in the middle of the forest. A flash of movement caught his eyes, and he looked over toward the trees to his left just in time to see Regulus walk out into the clearing. 

The way his skin appeared was momentarily blinding, as if James was walking out in the snow on a sunny day. He blinked hard a few times, his eyes slowly adjusting, and was finally able to see. James wasn’t sure that he had the words to explain how he felt witnessing Regulus in all his naked glory. 

He glowed in the sunlight, his skin sparkling as if made of the reflective surface of water. It was breathtaking. His body was toned and perfect, just as James had expected it to be. His muscles moved subtly under his glowing skin, each of them defined just enough to be seen by the naked eye. 

James’s eyes danced down his body, starting at his curly black hair which fell over the top half of his face. His head was tilted down slightly, his eyes closed. He looked like he was posing just so James could take a long look. His eyes drifted down his neck to his collar bones, what he wouldn’t give to drag his teeth across them. His nipples were hard and pink, perfectly proportioned on his strong chest.

James looked at Regulus’s hands first as he made his way down, his long fingers hanging limply by his sides. He looked fully relaxed and unaffected by his own nakedness. Next, he moved to his abs and then the enticing v-shaped muscles that led to the small patch of hair just above his cock. 

James unconsciously licked his lips as he finally let himself look at Regulus’s cock. It was partially hard, hanging heavy between his slightly spread legs. Though Regulus’s skin was pale, even as it reflected the sunlight, his cock still had a slight pink tinge to it like there was flowing blood in his veins. 

He finally moved back up to Regulus’s face. His eyes were open now, watching James with an unreadable emotion. If James had to guess — and he didn’t like to, given how mysterious he found Regulus on most days — he would say that he looked apprehensive. He wondered if Regulus expected him to be afraid. 

“Are you going to join me?” James called. They’d been staring at each other in silence for so long that his voice felt like it was cutting through glass. So much tension in such a beautiful and peaceful place was strange. 

Regulus smirked slightly and slowly, with poised deliberate steps, entered the water. James couldn’t help the wide smile that stretched across his face as he watched him. He didn’t move toward him, though he wanted to. He felt like he was watching an angel come down to Earth, descending from heaven just to swim with him. When he was finally close enough to touch, James reached out with both hands unconsciously. 

He felt like he was being sucked in by him. It felt like Regulus had a gravity to him that James would never be able to escape, not that he wanted to. 

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice full of awe, as he grabbed Regulus by the waist and pulled him in. His skin was cold, but only slightly, and he reveled in the feel of it when he pressed him against his chest. 

Regulus grinned viciously. “Are you sure? I’m not sure your open-mouthed staring made it obvious enough.” 

James scoffed even as his face grew hot. “Oh, fuck off,” he said, chuckling and splashing Regulus in the face with a small amount of water. 

Regulus sputtered, shaking his head around to remove the water. “Rude,” he said, his smile ruining whatever pouting he was attempting. James’s cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much. 

He leaned forward without thinking and pressed his lips against Regulus’s, just a short chaste kiss, before pulling back. “Sorry,” he said.

“Why are you sorry?” Regulus asked, his eyes impossibly soft. 

It took James a moment to respond, emotionally lost by the way Regulus looked at him. “You’re always the one to take charge. I assumed it was because you’re… you know.” He felt awkward explaining his reasoning, it wasn’t something he’d consciously thought of until that moment. 

Regulus shook his head slightly, a fond smile on his lips. “A vampire?” 

“Right,” James said with a small breathless laugh. “That.”

“It’s not a bad word, you’re welcome to say it,” Regulus said teasingly. 

“Oh really? So you think I should go around telling everyone in town? ‘Don’t worry, guys. Regulus said it was fine if I said it.’” He laughed loudly when Regulus shoved his shoulder gently. 

“No, please don’t do that. Although they’re unlikely to believe you, I’m sure most of them would think you were crazy.”

“That’s true,” James agreed. “I wouldn’t do it anyway.” His voice dropped suddenly, the seriousness of what he was about to say drowning out his playfulness. “I would never tell anyone your secret.”

Regulus didn’t sober, he was still smiling like they were joking around, but he said, “I know, James. Don’t worry.”

James blew out a small breath. Regulus’s eyes raced across his face as if memorizing every detail. He then kissed James on the cheek, but he didn’t pull away afterward, instead, he started pressing a line of kisses down to his jaw. 

“That’s why I wanted to take my truck,” James said. He was already hard, just a quick touch of Regulus’s lips was enough to make him feel like he hadn’t jerked off in months. “I don’t want you to get in trouble if something goes wrong.” 

Regulus froze suddenly and then very slowly pulled away. “What did you just say?”

James watched him confusedly, unsure what the frown on Regulus’s lips meant. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“In case something goes wrong?” Regulus asked, his voice tight with tension. 

James nodded. 

“What does that mean?” 

James tilted his head, his felt like it was full of cotton, probably because most of his blood had rushed south the moment Regulus had touched him. 

“James,” Regulus said firmly. 

“Nothing,” James said softly. Regulus was mad at him, but he couldn’t figure out why. 

“You didn’t tell anyone where you were going today?” Regulus asked. James shook his head quickly. “No one knows you’re with me?” 

“No, of course not,” James said. 

“James,” Regulus said his name again, this time with a frustrated growl. 

“What?” 

“Do you think I’m going to hurt you?” As he said it, he pulled away, just out of reach of James’s hands. 

“Wait, come back,” James said. He should have probably felt embarrassed by the whine in his voice, but he couldn’t help the way he reacted to Regulus. He couldn’t be blamed for his behavior. Not with a very naked Regulus only a few inches away from him. 

“Answer my question first.” What was his question? James had to search to find it. 

“I don’t think you would hurt me on purpose,” he said carefully. “But I know it isn’t easy for you.” 

Regulus looked offended which James was confused by. He felt like he was being as sensitive as he could manage given the circumstances, and he didn't understand Regulus’s reaction. 

“James,” Regulus said tiredly. 

“Stop saying my name like that,” James said suddenly.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re disappointed in me.”

Regulus, to his surprise, smiled, the expression lightening up his face and chasing away the bad emotions like the sun chases a shadow. He finally came back into the cradle of James’s arms. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He leaned forward again and James tilted his head to give him space to press his cold lips against his neck. “I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“I know,” James said, his voice taking on a breathlessness quality again. 

“If you knew that then you would have told people where you were going,” Regulus said. 

James felt abruptly caught. “Oh.” 

“Yes, oh,” Regulus said, his voice a low purr. His tongue dipped out from between his lips and brushed against James’s oversensitive skin. “Next time you'll tell people.”

“Okay,” James said. He would agree to almost anything if it meant that there would be a next time. He felt Regulus grin against his neck, just a small stretch of his lips. 

“You would agree to anything I said right now, wouldn’t you?” Regulus asked. 

“You said that you couldn’t read minds.” 

Regulus laughed, his hands tightening around James’s waist. James was gripping Regulus’s hips like he might hang onto a guardrail. Though the water wasn’t deep enough for him to sink beneath the surface, he felt like if he let go he would drop away and never be found. Only Regulus was holding him up, only he was real. 

“You smell so good,” Regulus said, speaking so low that James wondered if he was meant to hear it. He shifted his hips to the side, just slightly, causing their cocks to rub together. James was fully hard — again, he couldn’t be blamed, naked Regulus and everything — but he was surprised to find that Regulus was hard as well. 

James groaned at the friction, the water between them slicking the way for him to frott against Regulus. Regulus took a large breath in through his nose and drifted it up James’s neck and jaw, searching for his lips. 

When their lips finally met, it was like sparks were going off all around them. James felt like he was in the center of a storm, madness and violence all around, but he was safe in the eye, held tightly in the hands of a man whom no person or storm could touch. Regulus’s hand came up to cradle James's face as James pulled him even closer, their naked bodies pressed up against each other. James felt like his toes were going numb. 

Regulus groaned against him, a noise that James would savor until he was old, gray, and dying. His stomach clenched at the sound, he was nearly overwhelmed by it. He brushed his tongue against Regulus’s lips, requesting an entry that was instantly allowed. Though Regulus always ran cold, James must have been warm enough for the both of them. He did not feel cold against his mouth and his tongue. 

Regulus made one more groaning sound that was choked off at the end, then abruptly he was gone. James slipped on the watery ground beneath him when Regulus vanished and he nearly fell forward into the pond, catching himself at the last possible moment. 

“What?” he said dazedly, blinking to clear his vision. Regulus was still there, he realized, just a few feet away. The water wasn’t as deep where he stood, and James could see most of his sparkling chest, now dripping with water. Regulus’s eyes were squeezed closed. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Regulus said, though he didn’t open his eyes. “I just need a second.”

“Was it something I did?” James whispered. Regulus shook his head, then slowly opened his eyes again. 

“It's just overwhelming,” Regulus said. “I have to be careful.”

James nodded like he understood, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to, not really. His draw to Regulus was something otherworldly, something uncontrollable, but he could never hurt him. Regulus was impossibly strong and fast, James couldn’t do a single thing to him, even if he wanted to. He couldn’t imagine being on the flip side of it. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” James asked. Regulus smirked suddenly, but he shook his head. 

“No, you’re perfect.” Regulus reached forward slowly, moving close enough so that he could tangle his fingers with James’s. “Follow me.” 

James nodded and let Regulus pull him across the lake toward the opposite side of where they’d entered. There was a thick patch of flowers waiting for them, all of them growing right along the edge of a large boulder. The lake grew shallower as they approached, but not as drastically as it did in the other direction. By the time they made it to the boulder, the water was about as deep as their upper thighs. 

Regulus turned to grin at him. “Hop up,” he said. 

“What?” James asked. Regulus gestured to the boulder. “You want me to climb up there.” 

“Yes,” Regulus said. He didn’t wait for James to move, he simply turned, grabbed him by the waist, and lifted him out of the water. James couldn’t remember the last time he was lifted like that, not since he was a child and he’d hit his middle school growth spurt, that was for sure. He was too big of a man for someone to easily lift. Regulus did it like he weighed nothing. 

He only had a second to wonder if the boulder would be too hot from baking in the sun, but it was actually a bit cold against his bare skin. He yelped when it touched him. Regulus only laughed. 

“It’s not that bad,” he chastised. 

“You’re one to talk. It probably wouldn’t feel cold to you at all. You’re probably the same temperature.”

Regulus rolled his eyes playfully. “If you’d rather I didn’t touch you either, I’m more than happy to oblige.” 

James, for the first time, realized that he was spread out fully naked in front of Regulus’s wandering eyes. He subtly spread his legs a little wider, leaning back onto his elbows. 

“If you think you can manage that —” 

He didn’t even get a chance to finish his sentence because he choked on his words when Regulus leaned forward and licked a long stripe up the underside of his cock. 

Regulus laughed, placing a quick kiss on his hip. He placed his hands on each of James’s thighs, pushing them apart even further so he could fit between them. His thumbs lazily grazed the skin of his inner thighs. James broke out in goosebumps again. 

“You’re right,” Regulus said in a deep voice. “I can’t help myself.” 

He placed three kisses along James’s stomach, open-mouthed and sloppy, before taking the head of James’s cock in between his lips. His cock was so heavy that it was lying against his stomach, and Regulus didn’t bother to lift it, keeping his hands on James’s thighs. 

“Oh, fuck,” James groaned. He wanted to watch Regulus work, but he could only see the top of his head from that angle and the feel of his mouth made his toes curl. He tipped his head back, his eyes already rolling as Regulus worked his tip. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d reacted like this to a blowjob, but it felt different than every other time. He didn’t know if it was because he’d been helplessly pinning for Regulus for weeks at that point, or if it was because Regulus was so ethereal in comparison to everyone he’d ever met. 

Regulus, seemingly satisfied with lavishing attention on James’s cockhead, finally started working the rest of him into his mouth. The slight chill to his mouth made it seem like Regulus had been drinking cold water prior to putting James into his mouth. He’d never been one for temperature play before, but now he felt like he wouldn’t be able to live without it. James forced his eyes open just so he could burn the image of Regulus sucking his cock onto the back of his eyelids. 

Regulus’s nose brushed through the dark curls above James’s cock as he finally settled his cock into his throat, his muscles spasming around it. He vaguely wondered if vampires had gag reflexes in the same way that humans did, but the thought was interrupted when Regulus hummed quietly and James’s brain short-circuited. 

He reached down and tangled his fingers into Regulus’s mostly dry hair, the very ends of the curls were wet from when James had splashed him. He didn’t grip him tightly, he didn’t want to cause pain, but he felt like if he didn’t have something to grab onto then he might float off the planet and never return. 

Regulus dropped one hand away from James’s inner thigh and brushed his fingers over James’s balls before rolling them in his palm. He hadn’t moved off his cock since he’d swallowed it down, James couldn’t understand how though he’d guessed it had to do with his lack of a need to breathe. 

He’d had his eyes closed the entire time as if he was enjoying a long, delicious meal, but finally, his eyes shot open. The gray pierced through James instantly. His hips thrust up once of their volition. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered without thinking. Regulus almost looked like he was smirking. James didn't think he’d ever seen someone smirk with a cock in their mouth. 

Without pulling off, he abruptly hollowed his cheeks and sucked so hard that James thought he might remove his soul from his body. He dropped his hand from Regulus’s hair, opting to grab either side of the boulder. He felt like he was trying to withstand an earthquake, like he just needed to hold on and he wouldn’t be shaken. 

Regulus began moving up and down along his cock, sucking fiercely the entire time. He didn’t even blink as he did it. James didn’t think that he’d ever seen Regulus look less human, and yet he was more turned on than he’d ever been in his entire life. 

“Fuck, oh, fuck, Reg — Regulus. I’m going to —” He could barely get the words out, his body shaking uncontrollably as Regulus worked him to the brink of madness. He hoped that Regulus understood, that he knew to pull off if he wanted to because he didn’t have another word in him. 

Regulus had been massaging his balls the entire time, but he stopped suddenly, just long enough to reach back and press two fingers against James’s perineum. James could only be glad that they were so far from civilization because he was sure his shout could be heard for miles in every direction. Regulus swallowed his cum down without hesitation, but James was barely aware of it. He was too busy trying to catch his breath. 

By the time he came back to his body, his fingers ached from where they’d been gripping the boulder for dear life. He felt weightless and relaxed, spread out in the sun, naked as the day he was born. He lifted his head slowly and found Regulus watching him with a smug smile. He had folded his arms across James’s stomach and was resting his chin on his forearms, his eyes glittering. 

“I thought you had to be careful,” James said, his voice sounding wrecked. 

Regulus’s smile widened. “I’m stronger than I thought,” he said. James knew distantly that that sentiment should have made him nervous, that Regulus could have lost control at any time, could have bitten down on his unmentionables and sucked him dry — and not in the fun way — but his heart didn’t even skip a beat. 

“Strange that vampires can swallow cum. You’d think that would be bad for you,” James said jokingly. 

Regulus laughed, tilting his head back as he did so. “Lucky for you, I have no problem swallowing.” 

“Oh, I can tell,” James said. He reached for Regulus and pulled him up so that he could crawl onto the boulder and straddle James’s hips. Regulus was still hard, his length heavy against James’s stomach. “Do you want me to —”

Regulus shook his head twice and kissed James softly on the lips. “Not right now,” Regulus said. “It’ll go away, and I don’t want to go too far.”

“Too far?” James asked, quirking his head to the side. 

“It’s easier to control myself when you’re not touching me, let’s just leave it at that.”

James blushed, though he wasn’t sure why he felt oddly embarrassed. Perhaps it was the idea of Regulus — as calm and controlled as he was — losing control just from James’s touch. The idea of it made his heart speed up. Regulus must have heard it cause he rolled his eyes playfully and leaned down to kiss him again. It was gentle though, just a slow waltz, their tongues dancing together like they were drifting across an empty ballroom. 

James could have stayed there forever. 

Chapter Text

Regulus and James floated in the small lake for a long while that afternoon. Not speaking or moving, just drifting in the calm, their fingers laced together preventing them from being carried apart. James felt like he was buzzing by the time they decided to leave, his mind blank for the first time in weeks. 

“We can stay longer if you want,” James said dazedly as they gently walked to the edge of the lake, the water dropping to just below their hips. Regulus was in front of him and James was having trouble dragging his eyes away from the way Regulus’s muscles cut down as if paving the way for the prize he knew lay below the water’s surface. 

“Stop staring at my ass,” Regulus said playfully, he was pulling James behind him, their fingers still locked. 

“I’m not staring at your ass,” James said through a smile. 

“I can feel your eyes.”

“Impossible,” James said, chuckling. “It’s still below the water. I can’t even get a good look.” He stuck out his bottom lip as he said it, a pout clear in his voice. 

Regulus laughed, tilting his head back slightly so that his wet curls danced around behind him. James’s cheeks hurt from grinning so hard. Before he could stop himself, he reached forward and grabbed Regulus’s ass below the water, squeezing gently, his cock already half-hard. 

Regulus batted his hand away, throwing a smile over his shoulder. 

“Stop that. I can hear your stomach growling, we need to get back, and if you start something now we might never leave.”

“I’m okay with that,” James replied. Regulus rolled his eyes, his grin growing even wider. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I would actually prefer not to keep you hidden away in the forest for the rest of your life.” 

James’s face dropped into a comical frown as he dramatically placed a hand against his chest. “You don’t?” 

“Hush,” Regulus said. 

They’d finally reached the end of the lake and James regretfully followed Regulus out of the water. He didn’t feel hungry yet and he hadn’t noticed his stomach growling, but to be fair, he’d been thoroughly distracted by everything that had happened that day. He figured his body was too content to feel hunger at the moment. 

It wasn’t until he started getting dressed, the water on his skin drying quickly in the sunshine, that he felt his stomach clench painful. 

“Oh, I’m starving,” James said, surprised. 

“Yes, I believe I already said that.” 

“How long do you think our hike back will take?” James eyed the tree line curiously. It had been quite a trek to get out there. He could only hope that it wouldn’t be as bad going back. He was starting to feel a bit dehydrated as well which didn’t bode well for him. 

Suddenly, the trees disappeared behind Regulus’s face as he stepped into view, pressing himself against James’s body. Hunger and thirst instantly forgotten, James leaned down and kissed Regulus softly on the lips. It was like taking a refreshing dip all over again, Regulus’s lips replenishing something that James didn't even know was missing. 

“Do you trust me?” Regulus whispered, pulling back just enough that their lips were no longer touching. James mourned the loss. 

“You know I do,” James said. 

Regulus kissed him on the cheek once before pulling away again, this time his eyes glittering with mischievousness. “Do you want to see how I travel through the forest?” 

James’s eyes widened. “Yes,” he replied enthusiastically. Regulus chuckled again. 

“I should have known,” he mumbled, so low that James wasn’t sure if he was even talking to him. “Okay, make sure you have everything.”

James quickly moved away and found his shoes and socks under a tree, he put them on quickly, only hoping that his sweat from earlier hadn’t left too much of a stench. He had no idea how well Regulus could smell and he hated the idea that he didn’t smell great. A panic swept through him as he started to wish that he’d brought deodorant with him. 

“James,” Regulus said softly. James’s head snapped up to look at him. He held out a hand, his pale, skinny fingers an enticing draw. “Come.”

“Yeah,” James responded, the dazedness back in his voice. Regulus dragged him into the trees, just enough that they were out of the sun, Regulus’s skin returning to something closer to normal. He still looked inhuman, James would never be able to see him any other way now that he knew, but he at least wasn’t glowing anymore. 

“Ready?” Regulus asked. James nodded twice. Regulus turned away from him, presenting his back, then looked over his shoulder and said, “Climb on.”

James tilted his head to the side for a second. “Onto your back?” Regulus nodded. “Are you sure? I’m not exactly light.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes aggressively. “Please,” he said. 

“If you're sure,” James said uncertainly. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been given a piggyback ride, it had to have been more than a decade. Regulus’s back was sturdy as he climbed on, jumping slightly just as Regulus reached out and caught the back of his knees. It was strange to hang onto someone so much smaller than him. 

“Hold on.” James didn’t need to be told twice, looping his arms around Regulus’s neck as Regulus took a few slow steps forward. Then, without warning, Regulus started running. Really running. Not the human-looking jog that he sometimes did, but the so-fast-he-could-barely-be-seen running. 

James’s hands tightened, but Regulus’s grip on him was firm and unmoving. The air rushed through his hair rapidly making him feel like he was on a rollercoaster. Trees went flying by them so quickly that James couldn’t even see them. He shouted in glee, his heart racing as adrenaline spiked through him. 

“Oh my god!” he shouted, a laughing tearing out of him. It was amazing, more fun than he’d had in weeks. Regulus moved so skillfully that James didn’t worry for even a moment that they might hit something. He trusted him completely, he knew that Regulus wouldn't let him get hurt. 

Before he knew it, the hours-long walk was finished, only a few short minutes of Regulus running and they'd traveled miles. Regulus slowed to a stroll as James panted heavily, his body shaking with energy and excitement. 

“That was amazing,” James said breathlessly. 

“I knew you’d like it,” Regulus said. 

“You travel like that all the time?” 

Regulus shrugged, his shoulders moving slightly under James’s arms. “Not all the time. I still drive, obviously, but it’s quicker than most methods.” 

“Wow,” James said. Once Regulus stopped moving, he unhooked his arms, Regulus gently lowering his feet to the ground. His legs were quivering slightly, but Regulus didn’t let him go until he wasn’t at risk of falling again. “Wait. Why did you make me hike all the way out there if we could have gone in minutes?”

Regulus rolled his eyes again, his smile firmly in place. “Because I thought you might like the hike.” He wrapped an arm around James’s waist as he spoke, thoroughly distracting him. “Plus it gave us time to talk before we were…” he hummed, placing a gentle kiss against James’s neck, “otherwise occupied.” 

James sighed at the feeling of Regulus’s lips against his skin. “Okay,” he said, “you’re forgiven.”

Regulus grazed his teeth against James’s neck causing James to grip him tightly on the shoulders to keep from falling over. “I haven’t asked for your forgiveness.” 

James tried to come up with some kind of snarky reply, but his words had escaped him, replaced with a desire to drop to his knees and worship at Regulus’s feet for a few hours. Regulus pulled away a split second later, putting just enough room between them that only his hand was still touching James’s side. 

“I need to get you home,” Regulus said. 

“No one is expecting me,” James said. He’d meant the words to be relaxing, to say that James could stay as long as he wanted, but Regulus frowned upon hearing them. 

“Don’t remind me,” he muttered. “Come on. I’ll drive us.” 

James let out a defeated sigh, recognizing that Regulus wasn’t going to be persuaded. His body rejoiced when he climbed into the passenger seat though, his muscles exhausted from the long day of hiking and swimming. He really was hungry, he would need to eat as soon as he got home. 

“I wanted to ask you something,” Regulus said suddenly, breaking the easy silence between him. James was surprised to hear that he sounded oddly nervous. 

“Yeah?” 

Regulus chewed on his bottom lip for a second, then said, “Would you want to come to my house? I know you’ve sort of met my family, but I’d like you to meet them officially.” 

“Yes!” James said immediately. 

“Yes?” Regulus replied. 

“Of course. I’d love to you. Right now?” 

“No, I should probably… prepare them.” He let out an uncomfortable laugh. “How about after work on Thursday? I could come get you.” 

“Okay,” James agreed, the first trickle of nervousness seeping in. Regulus was right, he’d already met most of Regulus’s family, even Sirius, but never in their own home. Plus, he’d already thought that at least one of them didn't like him, if not two. 

“What are you thinking about?” Regulus asked. 

“Huh?”

“Your heart rate sped up,” Regulus explained. 

“Oh,” James mumbled, blushing slightly. “Do you think they’ll like me?”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” 

“Of course, what else would I worry about?” 

Regulus chuckled softly. “Sirius and Lily already like you. Pandora is just odd, she can be hard to read, but she’ll go along with whatever Lily thinks most of the time.”

“And Barty and Evan?” James asked regretfully. 

“They’ll behave,” Regulus said darkly, his voice sending a shiver up James’s spine.

“Okay,” James said. Regulus glanced over in the corner of his eye, his dark look vanishing into something playful. 

They didn’t speak much on the way back, but Regulus kept one hand laced with James’s resting on his thigh. It was comforting, a domesticity that James would have never expected. Regulus left him to drive the final stretch alone, kissing him softly one more time with a promise to see him the next morning. James spent the rest of the day in a state of bliss. He could barely believe that he’d meet someone like Regulus and more than that, that he’d gotten to spend the day with him all to himself. It was like a gift he could never repay, something unreal and untouchable. 

Just as promised, Regulus was there waiting for him the next morning to take him to school. James’s father had barely even questioned him about his day, which he was grateful for because he was pretty sure that being in Regulus’s presence for so long had fried his brain. 

The school day went by as usual. His professors seemed to be ramping up for midterms though so there were a lot more assignments than usual. James was also sure that he caught Peter and Frank giving him odd looks throughout the day but he couldn’t figure out why. The strangest thing was the fact that none of Regulus’s family was there, all of them suspiciously absent. 

“Where is everyone?” he asked Regulus on the ride home, finally curious when Lily didn’t show up for their shared class. 

Regulus stared ahead silently for a second. “Ah,” he said awkwardly, “they were busy today.” 

James’s eyebrows furrowed. “Busy doing what?” 

Regulus’s eye flickered over to him for just a second before he stared back at the road. “They just wanted to be prepared.” 

James waited for him to elaborate, but they arrived back at his house before Regulus said another word. “You can tell me, you know? I won’t judge.” 

Regulus gave an elegant shrug, just one shoulder lifting and falling back into place like he was a trained dancer. “I don’t want to scare you off.” 

“You’d think if I was going to be scared off, it would have happened yesterday,” James joked. Regulus smiled softly, but it seemed more out of politeness than genuine entertainment. 

“Sirius can be a bit much.”

“Sirius? He seemed fine when I met him before.” 

Regulus seemed to struggle to find words for a moment before he gave up trying and said, “We’ll see. Just let me know you want to leave at any point and we will.”

“Okay,” James said. “Wow, I think you’re more nervous than I am.” Regulus grimaced. “Hey, it’s fine.” He reached out and brushed his fingers comfortingly on the back of Regulus’s hand. “You don't have to worry. I won't judge you for your family.” 

“You can’t promise that,” Regulus said seriously. 

“What are you so worried about? Do you think one of them is going to try and eat me?” Regulus gave him a look so full of shock and horror that James immediately threw his hands up. “No, no. I was just kidding.” 

“I won’t let them do that.” His voice was something right below a snarl. 

“I know,” James said, giving a breathless laugh. “I know you won’t. Really, it’ll be okay. Lily and Sirius already like me, right? That’s what you said.”

“Right, right,” Regulus said, seeming oddly distracted all of a sudden. “I should go. I’ll pick you up tomorrow from work.” 

“Yeah,” James agreed. He wanted to kiss him again, he’d kissed him goodbye yesterday, but he suddenly felt incapable of doing so. The worried line between Regulus’s eyebrows made him anxious and unsure. “Tomorrow.”

He left Regulus’s warm car and hurried inside his house, careful not to look back in fear that he would be caught staring. His father was in the living room when he came in. He’d seemed fine since spending time with Lyall the day before, he thankfully hadn’t had any more episodes yet, but James quickly found that that worry was going to be a constant companion of his. 

“Good day?” his father asked easily. 

“Yep, you?” James responded. He felt anxious to get upstairs, to get some time alone, though he wasn’t sure why. 

“Yeah, not too bad.” Fleamont nodded as he spoke, his eyes glued to the TV. 

“Oh,” James said quickly. “I’ll be home late tomorrow. I’m going out with a few friends after work.” 

“Good on you,” his father responded with a laugh. James just shook his head. He wasn’t going to question his father’s good mood. He left him a bit later, telling him that he’d be back to make dinner in a few hours. Fleamont just waved him off. 

The moment James was upstairs, his bag discarded onto his bed, his phone rang. He answered it immediately, strangely hoping that it was Regulus, though they’d just talked to each other. 

“Hello,” James said quickly, a desire in his voice that he really should have been more embarrassed about. 

“Ah, expecting someone else, were we?” Remus’s mocking voice said. James felt a bit bad by the way his body deflated.

“No, of course not,” James lied. Remus laughed. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to see how everything went. My dad said you were running errands all day, but see, I was thinking, that kind of sounds like a huge fucking lie.”

James chuckled. “Yeah, might have been,” he confessed. Remus barked a laugh. “Don’t tell him though. I am really trying to keep it a secret.” 

“Uh huh,” Remus said. “So tell me what happened then.”

“You’re a gossipy old woman,” James said before instantly launching into a recap of everything he and Regulus had done together, leaving out Regulus’s glowing skin and their run through the forest obviously. He hadn’t realized how badly he’d wanted to tell someone until Remus had asked. 

Remus mostly listened in silence, only making a few noises of surprise and agreement now and again. He could hear the sounds of tools being moved in the background and figured that Remus must have been working. 

“So when are you seeing him?”

“I’m meeting his family tomorrow.”

“Wow,” Remus said. “That’s fast.”

“Suppose so,” James agreed. “I’ve basically already met all of them, most of them go to my community college.” 

“That’s right, you mentioned that before,” Remus said. He sounded like he was nodding. “Are you nervous?”

“Yes!” James shouted with another laugh. “They’re all so… I don’t know. Intimidating.”

Remus snickered. “I’m sure they’ll like you just fine.”

"You say that now, but you never know what could happen.”

“Are you going to tell your dad?”

“Fuck no,” James said emphatically. Remus gasped dramatically, making James laugh even harder. “No, not right now. He doesn’t know anything about Regulus yet. I’ll tell him when — well, eventually.”

“Yeah, I get it.” 

“So, what about you?” James asked quickly, feeling oddly bad for dominating the conversation for so long. “You seeing anyone?”

Remus gave a derisive laugh, a hint of bitterness there that James wondered about. “No, I’m not. Not that I would call to tell you about it if I was. I’m not usually one for — what did you say — being a gossipy old woman.”

“Hey!” James shouted in mock offense. “You’re the one who asked about Regulus.”

“Just cause I knew you’d go crazy trying to keep it a secret.”

“Oh, Remus Lupin, a man after my own heart. Remind me how you know me so well already?”

“I’m a secret mind reader, obviously.”

“Obviously,” James agreed. 

They ended their call not long after that, updating each other on only a few other things. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a close friend like Remus. In New York, it felt like everyone he knew was just a peripheral friend like they were only there to go out to bars with. There was no substance. It was strange, looking back only a few months after leaving, to find that he’d failed so spectacularly in putting roots down in the city. 

It was a stark difference to how he felt in Godric’s Hollow. He’d felt a bit resentful moving here at first, but now it seemed like he belonged. 

After he hung up with Remus, he spent a few hours catching up on all the schoolwork he’d been neglecting, then he went down to make some food for him and his father. His dad was watching football in the living room when he walked passed, a rerun of an old game it looked like though James didn’t stick around to figure it out. 

He could barely sleep that night, worried about the next day, and when he finally got up to head to work he felt like he looked far rougher than he had the day before. He showered thoroughly and ate breakfast before heading off to work, glad to have something to distract him. He didn't think about what he would do with his truck till it was nearly time to close. Would Regulus drive to pick him up? 

His question was answered the moment he locked up the store, finding Regulus leaning up against the wall outside looking like he was straight out of a magazine. He was dressed casually as if they were going hiking again, but James could tell from just a look that the clothes he was wearing were likely extremely expensive. 

“James,” Regulus said, purring his name. He was so dangerous, James realized. Not because of the power he held or because he was a vampire, but because all he would have to do was demand something of James, and James would give it to him. He would lie down in front of a train if Regulus asked him to. 

“Hi,” James replied dumbly. Regulus’s smirk turned into a real smile, his teeth glittering in the streetlights. It was already dark outside, though it hadn’t been for long. Summer was definitely on the way. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Regulus asked. He was still grinning, but there was an uncertainty in his eyes. “We could go out to dinner instead.”

“No, I want to meet your family,” James said with grave certainty, though the idea of getting Regulus alone for the night was hard to say no to. 

Regulus held out a hand for him. “Best let me drive. It’s not the easiest place to find.”

“Sure,” James said following him like a lamb to the slaughter. 

Regulus wasn’t kidding about it being hard to find. They had to drive down several well-hidden roads and driveways, deep into the forest, in order to get to his house. When they finally arrived, it was impossible to miss. Expensive lights spanning down the driveway and illuminating the house. It was a beautiful building, several stories tall and built at the top of a slopped hill so that it looked imposing among the tall trees. 

“Wow,” James said. 

“Yes,” Regulus said. “Sirius chose it. He always did like to show off.” 

James shook his head slightly. When they were both out of the car, Regulus interlaced their fingers, apparently understanding that James needed his steadiness. 

“Remember what I said,” Regulus whispered. “If you want to leave, just tell me and we’ll go.” 

James leaned into his strong side for a second like a cat greeting their owner. “It’ll be okay. I’m ready.”

“All right,” Regulus said uncertainly. He led them up the main steps to the front door and entered without unlocking it. James doubted they had much of a need for locks given that no one outside their home could hurt them. 

The entryway was brightly lit and well decorated, the walls covered in a light green paint that made it feel like it was a continuation of the forest outside. Huge windows lined the walls. He thought it was likely a beautiful room during the daytime. The room itself was empty, and he felt his chest clench slightly with nerves. 

Where are they? James thought but didn't say. Regulus shook his head. “They’re being difficult,” he said as if answering James’s questions. "Come on.”

He led James through the house toward the kitchen at the very back of the first floor. It was, like the rest of the house, full of expensive decor and unusually up-to-date for a home full of creatures that didn’t eat human food.

He only had time to take in a small section of the room before turning to find all of Regulus’s family waiting in a large dining room, all of them unnaturally still and watching the two of them enter the room. 

“This isn’t what I meant by act natural,” Regulus muttered. 

“This is the dining room. People greet guests in the dining room,” Barty said. He was standing at the very back of the room, his back against one of the floor-to-ceiling windows. He looked unusually tall, not that he was short by any means, but his height seemed almost unnatural. 

“No, they don’t. They greet them in the foyer,” Evan said, turning his head to look up at Barty from where he was sitting at the head of the table. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest like he was waiting for an attack. 

“How do you know that?”

“Because some of us have experience greeting guests.”

“Don’t know who’d want to greet you,” Barty said, grinning. “You’re a terror.”

“Okay,” Regulus interrupted. “If you two are going to fight, please do it elsewhere. None of us are interested.” 

“Fine,” Evan snarled and, to James’s surprise, stood up and stomped out of the room. 

“Oh, I guess he meant it,” James said, causing Sirius to let out a loud, sharp laugh. He was sitting in the seat opposite where Evan had been. He looked the most human of the group, a relaxed quality to his frame like he was trying to put James at ease. 

“Reggie,” Barty whined. “You said you would be nice.”

“I never agreed to that,” Regulus said dryly. 

“Now he’s going to yell at me.”

“No less than you deserve, I’m sure,” Regulus responded. “James, you’ve met Lily and Pandora.” He practically turned his back on Barty who looked mournfully at the empty doorframe that Evan had just left through. 

“Yes, hi,” James said awkwardly. Lily was standing near Sirius, her arms also crossed though not defensively. Pandora was sitting on top of the dining table, her legs crossed beneath her.

“Hi James, I’m so glad that Regulus didn’t kill you,” Pandora said, her eyes sharp. It wasn’t with cruelty that she spoke, but James got the distinct impression that she was trying to make him uncomfortable.

“Was that a possibility?” James asked jokingly, not missing the way Regulus went aggressively still next to him. Pandora’s grin widened meanly, but Lily spoke before Pandora had the chance to respond. 

“No, it wasn’t. Regulus wouldn’t hurt you.” 

Regulus relaxed slightly, but he still seemed oddly still, too still. 

“I know that,” James said, smiling as if that could defuse the tension he didn’t understand. 

“He’s too soft for that,” Lily added, her eyes sliding to Regulus’s face, a sharpness appearing as if to match Pandora’s. 

“You’re a terrible sister. I should have let Sirius kill you,” Regulus mumbled. 

“Oh, I’m trembling with fear,” Lily said, shaking her legs around like she was a cartoon character. Regulus laughed, a soft noise that James felt oddly possessive over. 

“I’m going to go after Evan,” Barty said suddenly, James was surprised he hadn’t already left. 

“Just leave him,” Sirius said. “He needs time to cool off.” Sirius, James gathered, was more easygoing than the rest of his family who all had a stiffness that spoke to harsh upbringings. However, he also spoke with an undeniable authority, something well-practiced and intimidating. 

Barty’s shoulders fell. “I guess so,” he said miserably. 

“James, has Regulus shown you the rest of the house yet?” 

“Oh, uh, no,” James said. “We just got here.” He pointed toward the front door as if anyone in the room would be confused. Lily pursed her lips like she was trying not to laugh. 

“I’m going to do that now,” Regulus said, his eyes flashing at Sirius. Sirius’s eyebrow twitched like he’d understood whatever Regulus was trying to convey. “Come along, James.”

“Oh, all right,” James said. “Good to meet you all.” 

None of them responded, he and Regulus were already out the door, heading toward the entryway. 

“We’re not spending the evening with them?”

“We’ll catch up with them later. They said they would —” he shook his head. “It’s not important. They’re all idiots.” 

James smiled fondly. “They love you.”

“Ugh, try not to rub it in,” Regulus said dismissively, a gentle curve to his lips softening his words. “Let’s go upstairs.” 

There must have been more than a dozen rooms in the house in total and James was having trouble tracking them. Regulus explained what each of them was used for, one at a time, but it was too much information for James to take in. A few of the doors remained closed, Regulus only touching them gently and announcing what lay beyond them. 

It took them almost forty-five minutes for Regulus to explain all the rooms before they made it to the third floor where they entered a large bedroom, bigger than his father’s entire house. 

“This is my room,” Regulus said quietly, dropping James’s hand for the first time. James took in the room, impressed that it was so brightly decorated. He’d expected something dark and dreary. In the center of the room was a bed with all-white linens. 

“I thought you didn’t sleep?” James asked. 

“Sometimes it’s nice to lounge though,” Regulus said. “Besides, beds can be good for other things.”

James felt suddenly like his spine had been lit on fire. He glanced at Regulus to see him watching him with lidded eyes. 

“You’re sure that your family won’t overhear us?” James whispered. 

“Oh, we’ll overhear,” came a voice right outside the door. 

Regulus groaned loudly, then walked over to open it, moving at a human speed. James had to use all of his willpower to calm himself. “I thought you were going to leave us alone.”

“You’re very slow,” Sirius said, entering the room a few steps. “Barty and Evan are gone. I doubt they’ll come back tonight.”

“Good riddance,” Regulus said. Sirius frowned slightly. 

“Evan will come around.” He ducked his head just slightly like he was talking to a child. 

“Is he not happy that I’m here?” James couldn’t help but ask. Sirius glanced at Regulus for just a second before answering. 

“He’s very territorial. He had a difficult entrance into this life and he knows the danger strangers can hold. You shouldn’t take it personally.”

“What do you mean he had a difficult entrance?” James asked curiously. Regulus made a quiet sighing sound, coming back over to stand next to James. 

“Probably shouldn’t share it without his permission,” Sirius said regretfully. 

“Oh, of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize —”

“It’s fine, James,” Sirius said with a kind laugh. “It can be a difficult subject for some.”

“For most,” Regulus said scornfully. “Sirius is just an outlier.” 

He shrugged easily. “No use in crying over it all now. Besides,” he grinned sharply, “mine is the best story. Who else gets their baby brother to rescue them from a poor, pitiful human life?”

James blinked in surprise. “You changed him?” James asked, regretting the words immediately when Regulus scowled. “Sorry.”

“No, stop apologizing,” Regulus said, squeezing his hand gently. “I might as well tell you. You’ll learn it eventually anyway.”

“You don't have to,” James said quietly. 

Regulus just shook his head fondly, then looked over at Sirius who was watching them curiously. “Will you tell it?” 

Sirius’s smile widened again and he nodded toward the door. “I would love to.” 

Chapter Text

Regulus’s fingers were laced with James’s as they followed Sirius into his office. At least, James assumed it was an office. It had a desk in the center of the room full of a mess of papers thrown around in disarray. There wasn’t anything else on the desk though, no computer or any decorations. There was no bed either, but James figured that was due to the whole never-sleeping thing that Regulus had just mentioned. 

“Just ignore all that,” Sirius said offhandedly, waving his hand around to indicate the mess he’d made. 

“What have you been working on?” Regulus asked in that judgmental voice that only a younger sibling could use and get away with. 

Sirius rolled his eyes, but when he looked at James, James was surprised to find that he looked a bit embarrassed. It was strange to see that expression on someone who looked so sure and confident. And attractive, obviously. He wasn’t blind, okay? 

“You have a lot of free time when you don’t need sleep,” he replied, aiming the words at James as if Regulus wasn’t even in the room. James believed that, if only because he could imagine how much free time he would have if sleep didn’t fill so much of his life. 

James chuckled though, intrigued by the way Sirius's eyes glanced over to the desk and back again. It was like he couldn't be sure if he wanted to explain it or not. 

“Honestly, I don’t think James is going to judge you for it,” Regulus said dismissively. James could practically hear the eye roll. James jumped slightly. 

“No, no! Of course, I wouldn’t! I would never do something like —”

“James,” Regulus said, chuckling softly. Sirius’s lips were tucked between his teeth as he held back laughter. 

“I believe Reggie is just messing with you,” Sirius said. 

“Oh, right,” James said, letting out a relieved laugh. 

“I’ve been writing music,” Sirius confessed. “It’s not very good. But, you know, maybe I’ll show you another time,” he said noncommittally. 

“Cool,” James replied encouragingly, unreasonably interested in hearing what kind of music an immortal vampire might write. “I’d love to hear it.” 

Sirius gave him a grateful smile before turning to look at a large painting on the wall next to his desk. James hadn’t noticed it upon first entering the room. A small alcove had been carved into the wall in the perfect shape to fit the painting so that it wasn’t visible from the doorway. There was a small shadow cast over it making the old wooden frame look even more ancient. 

The painting was of two young boys, both pale and unhappy looking, their eyes a matching shade of gray. Their clothes were old-fashioned, frilly, and bizarre to his modern eyes. He didn’t know time periods well enough to understand when they might have lived, but he could tell that they were much older than he’d originally thought. 

“Is this a painting of the two of you?” James asked, his voice a distant whisper. Regulus’s hand in his tightened slightly, as if he didn’t like looking at the painting. 

“Yes,” Sirius said, gazing at it just as James was. “It’s customary for children to have their portraits painted when they reach the age of eight. I was nine when mine was done, I had to wait for Regulus to turn eight.” He grinned when Regulus let out a small huff like he was annoyed. “They didn’t want to bother hiring someone to do two separate portraits, not when we were so close in age.”

“Right,” James said like he understood, even though nothing could have been further from the truth. He’d already known that Regulus was rich, but he hadn’t imagined that he was rich while still human as well. He supposed it made sense, he had that stiffness to him that people had when they were raised to be proper. 

“You see, James,” Sirius went on, “our family is rather unique. Though our mother and father were human when they had us, once they successfully brought an heir and a spare into the world, they were finally allowed to join their parents as vampires.”

“Oh?” James said, the word escaping him without his permission. “Your — your parents are vampires?” 

Sirius nodded once, finally dragging his eyes away from the portrait to look at James. There was a deep frown on his lips, some memory clearly bothering him. “We come from a large family of vampires. Neither Regulus nor I are sure who was the first one to be changed, the legends our family likes to share don’t go far enough back, and our family members love to invent new stories when the mood hits them.”

“More like when the lies benefit them,” Regulus muttered. 

Sirius shrugged one elegant shoulder. “That’s true.” 

“Don’t let Sirius fool you,” Regulus said, his voice like a dance on James’s eardrum, playfulness returning to the conversation in an instance. “He created plenty of lies himself.”

“Stories, Reggie,” Sirius said with a grin. “They were stories, not lies. And anyway, you always got a kick out of them when we were children. I had to keep you entertained.”

Regulus let out a quiet huff of laughter. “Sure,” he said, “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

“Anyway,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes playfully, “the point is that we don’t know who the first vampire of the Black family was, but we were raised among them. Or at least with the stories about them. Human children aren’t allowed among the vampires, especially not their newly changed parents. For vampires that have only tasted human blood, children are too much of a lure. Especially for vampires from our family who have never had to control themselves.” 

James shivered slightly, Regulus squeezed his hand. “So who raised you?” 

“They hired human caretakers to teach us. Our parents were changed shortly after this painting was completed, so we knew them when we were very little, but once they were changed, they vanished from our lives until we came of age. Of age meant twenty-five in our family. Not the eighteen you would think of nowadays.”

“Did you know any of your other family?” James asked. 

“Our Uncle wasn’t terrible either, though he only visited us twice. We were also brought before our great-grandfather a few times,” Regulus answered. “He seemed to have more… control over himself than most of the other family members did.”

“He scared Reggie,” Sirius said without mercy. 

“I was a child, Sirius. All adults scared me.” 

Sirius barked a laugh, and even James couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped him. Trying to imagine Regulus scared of anyone was quite the feat, he seemed so intimidating, so sure of himself. 

“So you always knew about the… vampires?” James asked. The word still felt wrong on his tongue, as if he wasn’t allowed to say it. 

Sirius nodded. “We were always told what the expectations for us were. If we wanted to join our family, then we would have to follow their rules.”

“By join, you mean —”

“If we wanted to be gifted,” he said the word like it had wronged him, “immortal life, then we needed to produce heirs, we needed to carry on the bloodline.”

“Oh,” James breathed. 

“Yes, oh,” Sirius said with an unhappy nod. “So we always knew what our fates would be.”

“What if you —” James cut himself off, suddenly unsure of if his question would be considered rude or not. 

"What if we what?” Regulus asked, knocking his shoulder lightly against James’s, a comforting touch that made James relax just a tiny bit. 

“What if you didn’t want to become a vampire?” James asked, cringing slightly. Sirius gave him a kind look. 

“Then you died,” he answered bluntly. 

James felt oddly like he’d just been slapped. “What?” 

“They couldn’t allow our family to continue unchecked,” Regulus said, his voice distant. “If you refused to fulfill your purpose, then you were killed.” 

It took James a moment to digest that. He was suddenly very worried about where this conversation was going. Did Sirius have a child out there somewhere? Did Regulus? 

“Why eight years old?” 

“Good question,” Sirius said. “Back then, children weren’t as likely to survive their first few years of life as they are now. They had to be sure that the children would reach adulthood before turning the parents into vampires. Vampires can’t have children, not in our frozen state, so they only had a few chances.”

“So once you were eight years old, that meant you would probably survive?” 

"Generally speaking,” Sirius said. “It was more likely at least, there is never a guarantee of course.” James thought he saw Sirius’s eyes flash to Regulus, but he couldn’t be sure, not with the quick way the two of them moved. 

“So… how were both you changed? Did you both get married?” He tried not to sound too worried as he asked the question, but he wasn’t sure that he succeeded. 

Sirius smirked slightly, his lips held tightly together like he was trying not to laugh. “No, we didn’t go the traditional route.” 

Regulus squeezed James’s hand again and James squeezed him back. He couldn’t be sure, but he had the strangest feeling that Regulus needed to comfort. 

“When I was almost of age, a family member was sent to help me find a wife. In a family such as ours, you can imagine that they have a tight grip on who we marry. Our parents,” he gestured to Regulus as if James wouldn’t know who he was speaking about, “were easily matched.”

Regulus groaned quietly, James gave him a worried look but Regulus just shook his head, a rueful expression on his face. 

“They were cousins,” Sirius said without preamble. “They did love to keep our blood pure.”

“Your parents are cousins?” James said, shocked, looking down at Regulus as he dropped his face into his free hand. 

“You enjoy sharing this fact far too much,” Regulus mumbled. 

“Yep,” Sirius said, grinning again like this was all so entertaining. “I believe they had a similar plan for me, they wanted me to marry my cousin Bella, but that all fell apart when I was two years away from entering society. I was already having weekly meetings about the proper ladies I would have available to me once I entered the marriage market, but I wasn’t happy about it, as I’m sure you can imagine.”

James nodded because although he didn’t know Sirius well, he couldn’t picture this man being forced into anything. 

“Then my eldest cousin disappeared on her wedding night. She was betrothed to some terrible man that my family had chosen for her, and she’d been fighting it the entire time, so when she was about to be forced down the aisle, she ran for the hills.”

“They told us she died,” Regulus whispered. “They said that they killed her for her disobedience.” 

Sirius frowned slightly. “It’s true. We didn’t realize that she had survived until nearly two decades later.” 

“That’s so sad,” James said. 

“It was,” Sirius agreed. "She was always my favorite cousin too. Andromeda is her name.”

“Is? She’s still alive?” James asked. 

Sirius smirked. “I’ll get there.”

“Oh, right, sorry, go on,” he rambled quickly. Regulus leaned into his side again. It was the only thing keeping him tethered, he was sure. 

“Once Andromeda vanished, the clamps around our lives got that much tighter. It was suffocating.” Sirius swallowed harshly. There was something so strangely human about it, something that made James remember that these were just two men, despite their inhuman abilities. Just two brothers who had been through something unfathomable together. “Regulus and I were getting antsy, so one day, when I was about eight months from entering society, we traveled to the ocean together.” 

Regulus leaned even heavier against James’s side, James dropped his hand and put an arm around his shoulders. He noticed Sirius track the movement, but he couldn’t interrupt what his expression meant as he watched it happen. 

“We’d been taught to swim as children, and we’d been brought to that manor near the beach many times, so we thought it would be fine. We didn’t account for the storm rolling in, or for the hellish riptides that were forming under the water. Reggie —” Sirius stuttered on his name, pausing only a second before shouldering through the sentence like it was a fight he had to win. “Regulus nearly drowned, he was pulled under the water, nearly dragged out to sea.”

“Oh God,” James said quietly, holding Regulus so tightly that if he’d been human, it likely would have bruised him. 

“It was only because of our Uncle that he survived. We’d thought the manor was empty, but our Uncle Alphard had been staying there for a short while, having only just returned from his travels. He rescued Regulus from the ocean, but when he brought him on shore…” Sirius looked haunted.

“I was dead,” Regulus said plainly. Sirius’s gaze snapped up to him. 

“You were almost dead,” he corrected, “but Uncle Alphard was sure you wouldn’t survive. I begged him to save you, I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t make it. If it was anyone else in the family, they would have said no, but Uncle Alphard was always a bit soft, at least that’s what our mother said. He took pity on us and right there on the beach, a storm raging around us, he changed Regulus into a vampire.”

James didn’t know what to say. He felt like he was there, as if he was staring down at Regulus slowly dying on the beach, his face unnaturally pale, his lips blue. 

“Our family wasn’t happy about it,” Regulus whispered. Sirius clenched his teeth together. 

“No, they weren't happy about it,” Sirius said. “Uncle Alphard paid the price, but they allowed Regulus to survive only because I was still alive, because I was their pawn.” His face changed in the blink of an eye, something like regret weighing down on him. 

“It’s fine,” Regulus said. James felt a bit like he was free-falling, as if the ground beneath him had opened up and swallowed him whole. 

“I tried to follow their rules, but when I learned of Alphard’s death and without Regulus by my side, they didn’t allow us to see each other after he was transformed, I started to stray. I saw the cruelty of their actions, I knew the horrible way they lived, and I couldn't handle it. I only lasted two months on the marriage market before it became too much for me and I made a run for it.” 

“Why didn’t they allow Regulus to see you?” James asked. 

“Most vampires at that age are too volatile, too unpredictable. They cannot be allowed around humans they aren’t planning to eat. Regulus was too young, it wasn’t safe, not when they so desperately needed me to carry on the family name.” 

“Where did you go when you ran?” 

“To the continent,” Sirius said, “then when that didn’t seem far enough, to Africa. I stayed on the run for years, always looking behind me like they would catch up at any moment. It was horrible, but I was free. In a sense, at least. I lived like that for more than ten years. I had just turned thirty when Regulus found me.” 

James tensed slightly.

“I thought he was going to kill me,” Sirius said. “I thought he would have been upset that I’d run. It felt so selfish at the time, and I was so young that I didn’t consider how my actions might have affected Regulus, not until much later, not until it was too late to go back.”

“They let me live because they assumed I would be able to find him,” Regulus said quickly. “But I never blamed you, Sirius.” 

Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. 

“Okay, maybe I did for a year or so there, but I wasn’t allowed to return to the family until I caught him and that time alone gave me the chance to understand.” 

“By the time he caught up to me, I was sure I was dead, that he would kill me for what I did,” Sirius jumped in to say. “But he didn’t. He forgave me, but we both knew that if he was able to find me, then the rest of my family would eventually be able to find me as well.”

“So you changed him?” James said, understanding dawning on him. He felt more than saw Regulus nod. 

“He changed me,” Sirius confirmed. “When our family discovered what he’d done, a couple of decades later mind you, when they realized that all their future prospects for their family had been squandered, they tried to destroy both of us.”

“Obviously, they didn’t succeed,” James said. 

Sirius chuckled. “No, but only barely. We only survived because a war broke out between our family and… well, that’s not for you to worry about. Needless to say, they had enough losses without coming for us as well. We haven’t heard from them since.”

James was dreadfully curious, but he didn’t want to pry about what war Sirius was talking about, so he let that plot point drop. 

“And Andromeda?” James asked. 

“Oh, yes,” Sirius said, his grin back in full and devastating force. “She found us about ten years after Regulus changed me. While she’d run from our family, she wasn’t alone. It was with her partner, a vampire himself, that she found solace. He wasn’t a member of our family —”

“Thankfully,” Regulus muttered.

“—but he knew who we were and he knew who she was. When she asked for safety, he gave it to her. He changed her only a few months after she ran away. She didn’t ever plan to come back, not until she heard about the multiple failed pregnancies that her sister had gone through. Bella was dying to have a child, she hated her husband, but she wanted what the family had offered her. However, when Andromeda came back to check on her, it was to find Bellatrix nearly dead after another miscarriage.”

“Oh, Jesus,” James breathed, feeling vaguely ill all of a sudden. 

“It wasn’t pretty,” Sirius agreed. “Andromeda saved her life, as Uncle Alphard had for Regulus, and when the two planned to escape the family, they were discovered by Narcissa, their youngest sister. She was too young to be engaged yet, and she demanded they take her with them.” 

“Did they escape?” 

“Surprisingly,” Sirius said with another soft chuckle. “Bellatrix was always a force to be reckoned with. Once she was changed, the family didn’t dare come after her.” 

“Those are… unusual names,” James said. It was only a second after the words left his mouth that he realized how rude they sounded. 

“The Black family is known for naming their children after astronomical bodies: stars, planets, or constellations. Hence, Sirius and Regulus, both stars,” Sirius asked easily, he didn’t seem offended which James was thankful for. 

“Wow,” James replied. “And neither of you have any children, do you?” He couldn’t help the question, he had to double-check. 

Sirius barked out a laugh again, James found that the sound was oddly comforting. “No, we don’t have any children.”

James blew out a breath of relief, growing red when both Regulus and Sirius started cackling at his expense.

“So how did you end up in America? And not eating humans? And with the rest of your family?” he asked quickly, urgently trying to get the attention off of himself. 

“The not eating humans thing is all Sirius,” Regulus said.

“Our original family fed like it was a frenzy, it made them animalistic, less than human. The surviving ones grew more unhinged by the year.”

“What he isn’t saying,” Regulus interrupted, “is that he’s always had a soft spot for animals. He once found a dying bird on my window seal when we were children and painstakingly nursed it back to health.” James felt suddenly lost, unable to track how that might be related. 

“Some of us have a heart, Regulus,” Sirius said jokingly. “But yes, he’s not wrong. I’ve always had a soft spot for them, and I think I always knew that I wasn’t going to be the type of person that could take a human life.” 

He paused, his eyes settling on Regulus’s face. Regulus gave a very subtle nod. 

“When Regulus found and changed me, he’d been surviving off of human blood for his entire life as a vampire, but I couldn’t do it. Not even as I slowly began to starve in my first couple months as a vampire. It wasn’t until I was out in the forest, trying to escape the incessant smell of human blood, that I discovered my… ability.”

“Ability?” James asked. 

“I came across a dying wolf. It was very old and injured, having left its pack so that it did not hold them back. I was so hungry and I could smell its blood, but I still tried to resist. I felt nothing but pity for the creature who couldn’t even run from me. But then I heard a soft sound, something like a voice, but not quite human. It was the wolf. It spoke to me, it demanded a painless end.” 

“You can hear animals?” James breathed. He thought he heard Regulus laughing again, but Sirius’s proud smile and nod distracted him. 

“I gave the wolf what it asked for, and discovered that its blood replenished my strength. Regulus avoided my way of life at first, but it didn’t take much for him to see things my way. Especially when — well, there were a few moments where we could both see his humanity fading.” 

“Yes, I think that’s enough for tonight,” Regulus said stiffly. James felt his heart clench in sympathy, even though he didn’t know the details. 

Sirius’s smile was tight, but it didn’t fade. “The others found us, not the other way around,” Sirius said, answering James’s earlier question. “But we’ll have to entertain you with that question another time.” 

“Right, sorry,” James said quickly. 

“You apologize too much,” Regulus said. “He only means because we’re about to be interrupted.”

“Oh?” James replied just as Lily came flying around the corner into the office. 

“Are you done with your tour?” Lily said, knocking into Sirius roughly. She’d clearly done it on purpose if the mischievous look in her eyes was anything to go on. 

“Yes,” Sirius said. 

“No,” Regulus replied at the same time. 

“No?” James asked. 

“I was going to show you my bedroom,” Regulus said, his voice low, drawing James in like luring an animal into a trap. 

“We don’t have time for that,” Lily said before James could respond and embarrass himself. 

Regulus turned to glare at the woman, she only grinned even wider. 

“A storm is coming,” she said, and just like that, the energy in the room changed, sparking to life like oxygen feeding a fire. 

Chapter Text

“What did Lily mean about a storm coming?” James asked. Sirius and Regulus had reacted so quickly to her statement that James hadn’t had the chance to ask what she meant before they scattered. Sirius said something in French that James didn’t understand and Lily laughed before both of them rushed out of the room. Regulus gripped James around the wrist and started dragging him back to his bedroom. “Are we going to use your bed now?” 

“No, James, get your head out of the gutter,” Regulus said, throwing a playful smirk over his shoulder. 

James chuckled. “You’re the one who put it there.”

“My apologies,” Regulus said in a haughty voice. “I’ll try to keep you more pure in the future.”

James’s cheeks hurt from smiling. “Please don’t,” he said with a chuckle. “So, the storm?” he asked once they were inside Regulus’s room, Regulus dropping James’s wrist and walking over toward a chest of drawers in the corner of the room. 

“It’s easier if we just show you. When is your father expecting you home?” 

James shrugged. 

“You did tell him you were coming over here, right?” Regulus asked. 

“I said I was going to a friend’s house,” James said with a slight eye roll. “He’s not worried and neither am I. I’m not a child, he’s not expecting me home at any specific time.”

“Don’t get snippy with me,” Regulus said, finally grabbing whatever he was looking for out of the drawer and pulling it out. “Put this on. It’s thicker than what you’re wearing and waterproof.”

“Are we going out in the storm?” 

“Behave and you’ll find out,” Regulus said. 

“I always behave,” James said, but quickly pulled off his sweater to put on the pullover Regulus had given him. He was a bit surprised that it fit him. Regulus wasn’t a lot smaller than him, but he was shorter and slimmer. At the very least, the sleeves should have been a bit tight. “Whose was this?” 

“What?” Regulus called from inside his closet, James could see a light on inside, he could only imagine how big it was in a house like this. 

“It’s not yours, is it?” 

There was a long uncertain pause. “Why do you ask?” 

“I’m just wondering who it belonged to,” James said. He could practically hear the unwillingness to answer through his silence. “I’m not going to be jealous or whatever. I’m assuming you’ve had other…” He didn’t know what word to use. Boyfriends? They hadn’t had a discussion about any of that, so that word seemed a bit presumptuous. Humans? That seemed a bit demeaning and despite his promise to not get jealous, the thought of Regulus spending time with another human man or woman made his chest feel so tight that it was hard to breathe. 

“I bought it for you,” Regulus said softly. He’d moved out of his closet during James’s small moment of distraction and was now leaning up against the door frame, his arms crossed tightly over his chest like he was trying to protect himself. 

“You did?” James asked, confused. 

Regulus shrugged slightly, James didn’t think he’d ever seen him look this uncomfortable. “Yeah, well, I assumed if we were going to be spending more time together, you might need some stuff occasionally.”

“So you purchased clothes for me?” James asked, glancing over at the chest of drawers. “And you keep them in your room?” 

Regulus was quiet for a tense second. “Yes,” he said. There was a tightly held restraint there, but James barely noticed. He was too busy melting into the floor to hear it. 

“Oh,” he said softly. 

“Is that all right?” Regulus asked quickly, his voice still tight. James turned back to look at him with a face that must have been extremely fond if the way Regulus’s shoulders relaxed was any indicator. 

“Yes, that’s all right,” James said quietly. “Can I kiss you?” 

Regulus rolled his eyes, a tiny smile breaking through his face. James was sure that if Regulus had been human, he would have been blushing. “No, I need to get changed,” he said, but James could hear how pleased he was, he could sense the way Regulus was warmed by him. James’s fingertips buzzed with the need to touch him, but he let Regulus deny him. He’d let Regulus deny him a thousand times if that was what he wanted. 

“It’s going to be dark out, but hopefully you’ll still be able to see okay. I have night vision goggles, or Barty does, but I suspect that you’d feel a bit dumb wearing them with the rest of us.”

“Why does Barty have night vision goggles?” James asked. 

“Because Barty is an idiot,” Regulus said, then laughed. “He says that they remind him of playing a video game, he uses them to hunt.”

“Did he just tell you that?” 

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “He loves to eavesdrop.” 

“Wow,” James said, a bit surprised by how well they could hear each other. “Maybe it’s best if we don’t use your bed here.” 

Regulus walked back out of the closet, this time wearing a black hoodie and a pair of loose jeans that hung around his hips in a way that was completely distracting. He was sticking out his bottom lip in a mocking pout. “You don’t want to get in my bed?” 

“Not if your brother is going to be listening to us,” James said. 

“Yes, I supposed that it would be a bit too in the family. Well, don’t worry. They’re not always here.” He smirked and James felt his heart rate pick up for a moment. He really needed to get a grip on himself. “Let’s go. The rest of my family is going to meet us there, but we’re going to take the Jeep.” 

“We’re not running?” James asked, only a little disappointed. Regulus laughed. 

“We’ll still have to run a bit, don’t worry,” Regulus said. 

The Jeep, it turned out, was a massive off-roading vehicle that had been customized to the point where it barely looked like road-legal. The tires were massive, so high that James would have to jump to get into his seat. Regulus climbed in next to him with unforgiving grace, his eyes shining as if to say he enjoyed the show. 

It was pitch dark outside as they left the house, Regulus moving down the street with a practiced ease that made James’s stomach swoop. He trusted Regulus's instincts, but he couldn’t deny that it unsettled him a bit. Not that he would say anything, he could already hear the mocking laughter Regulus would let out and he didn’t feel like it was appropriate to get hard from being mocked. 

Eventually, they turned off the street and drove down a stretch of dirt road that looked like it was just a wide trail, the trees so close to the side mirrors that James didn’t understand how they were making it through unscathed. When Regulus finally came to a stop a bit later, they looked like they were truly lost, trees surrounding them on nearly every side. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Just a clearing near here. It’s not far.” Regulus jumped out of the car quickly, before James could even get his seatbelt off. He huffed a laugh.

“Show off,” he muttered. 

“I heard that,” Regulus said, swinging open James’s door. James unbuckled his seatbelt and swung his legs to the side, prepared to jump out in front of Regulus, but was stopped by Regulus placing one foot on the step bar and lifting himself so that he could wrap his arms around James’s middle. 

He dragged him out of the car carefully but quickly and before James could take a complete breath, his feet were on the forest floor, Regulus still wrapped around him. 

“My hero,” James said jokingly. 

“I wouldn’t want you to fall and break something,” Regulus quipped back. James opened his mouth to respond but then Regulus wrapped one hand around his bicep and pulled him to the side so that he could slam the Jeep door closed behind him. He took an imposing step forward, forcing James’s back against the side of the Jeep. 

“Oh,” James breathed for the second time that night, looking down at Regulus, his face shadowed by darkness, but his eyes glinting playfully. James licked his lips. He wanted to taste him, he wanted to touch him, but before he could, Regulus grabbed both of his wrists and pinned them to the metal behind him on either side of his head. 

“James,” Regulus said, and there was something in his voice, something unknown, something soft and hungry and uncertain, something that James wanted to explore, something he wanted a map of, a book of, an entire library of. 

“Are you finally going to eat me?” James whispered instead because he’d been too much before, and though somewhere deep inside him, he could feel that things were progressing quickly, he didn’t want to ruin them by stepping too close or asking too much. 

Regulus smirked, his eyes still unfathomable. “Not tonight. But if that’s what you’re into, I’d be happy to oblige another time.” 

“Oh, fuck,” James groaned, banging his head back against the metal. “You can’t say things like that.” 

“Really?” Regulus asked, leaning forward and dipping his head so that he could drag his nose against James’s jaw. James gasped, his hands clenching and unclenching reflexively. He felt restrained, and not just by Regulus’s hands, but by his own desire to play this right. And by his jeans, his jeans were becoming way too restraining way too quickly. “I bet I could do whatever I want and you wouldn’t complain.” 

“Whatever you want…” James responded nonsensically, words escaping him, all he knew was the inescapability of Regulus’s hands on his wrists and the feel of his skin against James’s jaw, neck, shoulder. “Fuck me, please.” The words slipped out, they fell from his lips without a second thought, and the humiliation flooding him was a very grounding experience. 

Although James had been with men — not often, he’d dated more women, it was just a bigger dating pool — he’d rarely bottomed. It wasn't that he didn't like it, he thought it was fine, it was just that most men didn’t seem to have the patience to make it good during a one-night stand and James almost always had one-night stands. So he’d gotten to the point where he’d only bottomed when someone had asked him to. He was very accommodating, and he didn’t mind, but he didn’t suggest himself. 

But there was something about Regulus. Though he could imagine Regulus beneath him, crying out and spreading his legs wider, welcoming James inside him, as deep as he could go — and he could go pretty deep, he’d been told — there was still a part of him that wanted to offer the same to Regulus. He could tell that it would be perfect, that Regulus would take his time, would consume him, feed him, devour him. And even deeper than all of that, James knew that he would never feel closer to Regulus than if he was inside of him. 

Regulus ruined his musings by laughing. It wasn’t a mean laugh, but James felt rejection pierce through him regardless. He felt like he was deflating. 

“We’re in the middle of the forest,” Regulus said jokingly. 

“I know,” James said quickly, mostly because he felt like it would feel even more embarrassing to say ‘I was just kidding.’ 

In the blink of an eye, Regulus had pulled away. His hands were still tight on James’s wrists but his face wasn’t against James’s skin anymore. James mourned the loss. 

“James,” Regulus said, his voice serious. It made James nervous, it made him feel foolish. 

“We don’t have to,” James said quickly. “If that’s not — if you don’t want to — with me, I mean. We’ve never talked about—”

“James,” Regulus said, this time sounding soft, but the rejection was still branded into James’s skin, the softness did nothing for it. “We can’t.”

“Right, of course,” James said quickly, looking away from Regulus’s perfect face to gaze out into the dark trees. His eyes had adjusted some and he could make out shapes around him, but it still wasn’t perfect. 

“James,” Regulus said for a third time, then leaned to the side and kissed James hard on the mouth, so hard that he was gasping for air. “I do want you like that.” 

“You don’t have to,” James said automatically.

“There are other dangers,” Regulus said. “There are risks we have to talk about. I’m not willing to do something that’s going to hurt you.” 

James furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” 

Regulus kissed him again, his lips soft and forceful at the same time. There was an insistence there, like Regulus was trying to tell him something, was trying to impart some meaning to him that he couldn’t see or understand. 

“Another time,” Regulus whispered, pulling just far enough away that their lips weren’t touching. “I can’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” 

“Okay,” James said, not fully understanding.

Regulus kissed him one more time, this time a quick peck, then he let go of James’s wrists and dropped to his knees before him. James gasped in surprise. 

"You don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do,” Regulus mumbled, already undoing the button on James’s jeans. 

“No! No, you don’t,” James said frantically, trying to bat Regulus’s hands away. “I don’t want you to feel obliged. You don’t owe me anything.” 

Regulus pinned back James’s wrist hard and looked up at him through his eyelashes, his eyes nearly luminescent in the darkness. “If I don’t suck your cock right now, I might die. Is that what you want, James? Do you want me to die?” 

Despite all of the emotions that James had just experienced, James tilted his head back and laughed. “God, no. Please suck my cock if it’s the only thing that will save you.” 

“My hero,” Regulus muttered, echoing James’s earlier words. In a split second, James’s jeans were opened and tugged down, along with his boxers, so that they were halfway down his thighs. His cock was swallowed down in an instant, enveloped in Regulus’s mouth like he was dying of thirst and it was the only water for miles. 

James groaned, placing the palms of his hands against the Jeep in hopes that it would steady him. He felt untethered, like so much had happened in the last few hours that he couldn’t even hope to process it. Something about Regulus made him feel like he was constantly having mood swings like he was unmoored. 

Regulus hollowed his cheeks, sucking James down so hard that James’s toes curled in his boots. He wanted to grip onto his hair, he wanted to pull him up and pin him to the Jeep, but he kept his hands where they were, he kept his distance because if this night had told him anything, it was that he was tumbling down a mountain and there wasn’t a single thing he could do to slow his momentum. He would hit terminal velocity before he hit the ground, and if anything went wrong, he wouldn’t survive it. 

“Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck,” James said, the words rushing out of his mouth as his climax approached. Regulus had been on his knees for less than a minute, there was no reason that James should be this close, he should have more control than this, he was a grown man, but it was like every swirl of Regulus’s tongue, every swallow of his throat muscles, tugged at something James’s chest so hard that he felt like he was going to break into a million pieces. 

“I’m gonna cum,” he mumbled moments before he was pushed over the edge, plummeting to the ground. He blinked and Regulus was in front of him, his strong hands placed against James’s shoulders like he was holding him up. James gave him a lazy smile, but the look froze when he noticed the tension in the line between Regulus’s perfect eyebrows. There shouldn’t be wrinkles on that face, James thought. 

“Jamie,” Regulus said. James wondered if he would ever recover from the myriad of ways Regulus had said his name since they’d met. That specific edition always made something inside him grow soft and squishy. 

“Regulus,” James said lazily. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Regulus demanded. James froze, though his body was still loose from the orgasm. 

“What?” he asked. 

Regulus’s eyebrows furrowed even further. “You nearly passed out. I had to catch you to keep you upright.” 

“What?” James repeated, more alarmed now. 

“Are you sick? You don’t feel like you have a fever, but I don't know.” He looked away, far off into the woods. “Maybe I should go get Sirius.”

“No, it’s okay!” James said quickly, suddenly very aware of the fact that his jeans were still wrapped around his thighs, his cock out in the open. “It was just a really, really good blowjob.” 

Regulus looked back at him, his face unsure, his mouth pulled into a frown. “Don’t lie.”

“I mean it,” James said quickly. He was surprised to find that it was likely true. He’d been overwhelmed by everything that day, but it was that final moment of physical touch that had undone him. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“I’m not going to give you blowjobs if you’re going to pass out from them,” Regulus said unhappily. 

“What? No!”

“You have to tell me if you’re not feeling good.”

“I feel fine, really, I promise.” 

Regulus frowned, but finally, he seemed to accept it. There was still tension there. James could understand, if Regulus had passed out above him then he would be worried too, but he didn’t want this to ruin their night, this moment. 

“Should we head to clearing?” James asked. 

Regulus’s shoulders dropped slightly and he pulled back just enough to reach down and drag James’s jeans and underwear back up over his hips. “Yes, ready for a run?”

The air rushed through his hair like he was standing on the bow of a ship, whipping through it violently. He loved the feeling of Regulus running. It was so smooth and yet blindingly fast, so quick that James couldn’t see a thing. He loved it, especially the feeling of Regulus’s hard body between his legs. 

One moment they were in the trees and the next they were walking into a clearing, Regulus having slowed like they were trying to make an entrance. He let James down carefully, keeping a hand around his waist like he was worried James might pass out again. James felt his face grow oddly hot, the protectiveness in Regulus’s touch something that James had never experienced before. 

Regulus finally let him go a few steps later, dropping his arm so that he could grab James’s hand, weaving their fingers together. They walked hand in hand toward the other shadowed figures in the clearing. James was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t daytime, sure he wouldn’t be able to see them, but he decided not to say anything. 

“You two took your time,” Sirius said, appearing at James’s side in a flash. 

“Some of us have hobbies, Sirius,” Regulus said snootily. Sirius barked a laugh. “How long until the storm?” 

James wondered if he was asking for James’s benefit, surely Regulus already knew, surely he could tell. 

“Just a few minutes,” Sirius answered, his grin seemed loud in his voice, decorating every word. “James, what do you know about baseball?” 

That brought James up short and it took him a moment to understand the words he was trying to process. “A little. I went to a few Yankees games with friends.”

“Do you know the rules?” 

“Of course,” James said, chuckling slightly. 

“Good, good,” Sirius said with a small nod. “Then you’ll be our umpire.”

“Umpire?” James asked. “Are you guys playing baseball?” 

Regulus snickered. 

“What else would we do during a storm?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know, human sacrifice or something,” James said. Regulus squeezed his hand but James didn’t know if it was a warning or just a moment of connection. 

Sirius hummed, “I don’t know. I think clear weather would be better for something like that.” 

“Yeah,” Regulus agreed. “Remember when we — actually, never mind.” James knew they were joking, but there was something else in their voices, something instinctively predatory, like they were used to being top of the food chain. James supposed that they probably were. He didn’t comment on it, mostly because he had no idea what he would actually say. 

“What does the storm have to do with baseball?” 

“You’ll see,” Regulus said, squeezing his fingers one more time before letting go. 

“Come over here,” Sirius said quickly, leading James over to a stretch of grass that seemed a bit lighter than everything surrounding it. Once again, James wished he had a flashlight or that it was light outside. 

“It’s almost time,” Pandora said, her voice like a song. She was holding a bat with both hands, swinging it down below her spread legs and then above her head like she was stretching out her shoulders. 

“This doesn’t seem like enough players for baseball,” James mumbled to Sirius.

“Don’t worry, they make due,” Sirius replied, both of them grinning at each other like they were sharing a joke. While looking at Sirius, James had the strongest desire to spill all the feelings that had been bubbling up inside him all day. There was something in his jovial smile, in his understanding and mirthful eyes, that made James want to trust him with his darkest secrets. 

James shook his head to clear it. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, it was like it was all too much and yet not enough, like the life he wanted was just out of reach, just beyond his fingertips. His chest felt tight and also like it was on the brink of breaking open. 

“Whose going first?” Sirius asked, his voice just above his normal volume despite how far away everyone was from them. They were all standing distant in the clearing, so far that James could only barely tell them apart. 

“We are,” Evan said. All of them had beautiful voices, but Evan’s was something beyond the others, like a Siren. James could imagine them in different circumstances, Evan’s voice dancing across the clearing, dragging James to his doom. There was danger there, just in the two words he spoke. 

“How are the teams broken up?” James asked, desperate to pull his thoughts back. He could feel himself getting off track, he could feel himself disconnecting. 

“Regulus, Pandora, and Evan are always on a team,” Sirius said quietly, as if he was sharing a secret, though James was sure they could all hear. “Barty and Lily are outnumbered, but they’re a formidable enemy.” 

“Yeah, we are!” Barty called, shouting loud enough for James to hear. 

“They also cheat,” Sirius added with a low laugh. “That’s why you’re here. You’re going to keep them honest.” 

“Regulus, Evan, and Pandora don’t cheat?” James asked. 

“Oh, they do,” Sirius said. “They’re just better at hiding it. Pandora, are we ready?” 

Pandora nodded twice, her blonde hair shining even in the darkness. James watched as they all moved into position: Pandora up to bat, Lily as pitcher, and Barty out in the distance guarding all the bases. James wasn't sure that this kind of organization could be fair, but he resigned himself to watch first. All of them seemed to freeze, even Sirius, as if they were waiting for something, and then off in the distance, a huge strike of lightning burnt down between the trees, illuminating the clearing so completely that James felt like he could make out every detail. 

Lily moved and it was only the crack of Pandora’s bat that made him realize she had thrown the ball. In a moment, they were all moving, so fast that James didn’t have a hope of following it, but he could hear the way Barty was shouting, the way Regulus and Lily were both laughing. 

“Here she comes,” Sirius said, nudging James with his elbow. James turned to his left just in time to see a blur of white hair rushing toward him. 

“A home run?” James said. 

Sirius made an uncertain noise, and then he lifted his hand and caught the baseball. James hadn’t even caught who threw it. Pandora touched the base a split second later, gliding to a perfect stop only a few inches from James’s face, her eyes expectant and her hands tucked behind her back. James paused for a moment, his brain struggling to catch up with what he was seeing. 

He shook himself before giving Pandora a regretful look. “You’re out,” he said. Pandora blew out a long breath. 

“I hope Regulus eats you,” she muttered. 

“Pandora, be nice,” Sirius chastised, but his smile ruined it. Pandora skipped away without a word. “So, what do you think?” he asked, turning to James. 

James laughed. “I think I understand why you need a storm.”

“Oh, yes. It can be very consicuous without the thunder.”

“How did you guys discover this?” James asked. 

Sirius laughed. “It was actually from one of my old friends, he lives down south, and though he seems very… regal, I guess you would say, he loves American sports. Once we went out to an old battlefield, and he showed us how he played the game. We thought we would attract attention in no time, but then we heard canons off in the distance and realized that there was a Civil War reenactment going on not far from where we were. They were making enough sound that no one noticed or cared about us.” 

“That’s insane,” James said, suddenly wondering if there had been a group of vampires playing baseball near one of his school field trips in Florida. 

“It was something,” Sirius said with a laugh. “My friend and his son loved it though, they went out there nearly every weekend, and when we eventually left and met Pandora and Lily, I knew we had to incorporate it somehow. Pandora had already seen us playing it before we ever met, so it all just fell into place.” 

James found that he was surprised by how whimsical they all were, even with their beauty, their money, and their baseline level of intimidation, all of them still had the childlike spirit to play a game together. Even Evan who seemed more murderous than the rest, was having a good time. When he came around to home base and James announced him safe, he even saw a tight smile cross Evan’s lips. 

They played for a while and though the lightning and thunder seemed to move around them, rain never fell in the clearing. James was still happy with the jacket though, pleased with what it represented. 

He was just starting to wonder if they would play for the whole storm when he noticed Pandora’s head snap to the side. Sirius froze beside him. James wasn’t sure what happened, but given the way they all moved a second later, he would guess that someone must have spoken, too low for his human ears to hear. 

In an instant, Regulus was next to him, his fingers against James’s lower back. 

“You should leave,” Sirius hissed frantically. Regulus opened his mouth, but Pandora spoke first. 

“It’s too late for that,” she sounded both nervous and resigned. Lily was watching her with sharp eyes and she leaned closer to whisper in Pandora’s ear, but James didn’t think that Pandora responded. She didn’t seem to move at all. 

“What’s going on?” he whispered.  

Regulus was the one to respond to him, his hand grounding and startling at the same time. “We have visitors.” 

Chapter Text

They arrived in the clearing like angels touching down to earth, gliding over the ground as if gravity didn’t affect them. They moved unnaturally fast, but not so quickly that James couldn’t see them. Only the darkness around them made the visitors difficult to make out. From far away, he could only see vague shapes and movements. 

Regulus's shoulder brushed against his as the rest of his family shifted around James so that he was behind them. James tried not to breathe, frozen to the spot. He could feel his heart racing and he wished he could slow it. It wasn't helping him hide. 

The visitors stopped a few yards away, just close enough that James could finally see them. 

On the left was a man with dark, short curls and a beard that made him look like a rugged male model in a photo shoot for camping gear. His face was blank but his eyes were nearly glowing in the dim light. In the center was another man, this one with black hair down to his shoulders, pin straight and shiny, so sharp that it looked like it would slice James’s hand open if he tried to touch it. On the right was a woman. 

James’s mind went blank for a moment upon looking at her, buzzing in his skull like she’d cast a spell on him. She was… beautiful seemed too small a word. She was otherworldly. Her dark skin glistened in the moonlight, her curves dragging James’s eyes down her body against his will. She wore a black dress that came to right below her knees, it looked expensive, far too expensive to be used to traverse through the forest. Over it she was wearing a white fur coat that was draped across her back, clinging onto her bent elbows. 

He glanced back at the other two men, the bearded one had a leather jacket on and some ripped jeans — nothing special — and the man with the straight black hair was wearing a black long-sleeve button-up with a pair of plain black slacks. Both of them looked moderately casual, but the woman looked like she was about to attend a concert in the 1940s. 

“We heard you playing,” the woman said, her voice like a siren’s song. James found himself leaning forward slightly as if trying to hear it just a fraction of a second sooner. He caught himself at the last moment and settled backward again. “We hope you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all,” Sirius said. His voice sounded different, clipped, and formal. His hand moved in a flash, lifting up to beside his face just in time to catch the baseball that the woman had just thrown at him. 

“We didn’t know there were others in the area,” the man in the center said, his voice drawling out of him like he was bored by his very existence. 

“We have a permanent residence nearby. We try to keep a low profile,” Sirius said easily. “You’ve been drawing more attention to the area than we’re used to.” 

“Oh,” the woman said, her plump bottom lip sticking out slightly. “Our apologies. We’ve led the humans east. You should be safe.” 

“We appreciate it,” Sirius responded politely. 

James was struggling to understand what they were talking about, it was only when he finally noticed the visitors’ eyes that it clicked for him. Where the golden color burned in Regulus’s eyes, the visitors each sported a crimson red. It gave their eyes a hollow effect, a soullessness that made him feel unnerved. 

“Good,” the man with the straight hair said with a smirk that looked almost cruel. 

“Do you have room for three more?” the man with the beard asked. James wasn’t sure why, but the way he was hanging back made him seem almost shy like he was a little uncertain around strangers. 

“Of course,” Sirius said. He was still talking in that clipped, polite tone and it was sending chills up James’s spine. “A few of us were about to leave, you can take their place.”

“Excellent,” the woman purred. She took two slow, cat-like steps forward, then held out her hand with delicate grace. “These are my companions: Antonin Dolohov and Severus Snape.” She nodded elegantly toward the bearded man and then the man with the straight hair. “And I’m Mrs. Zabini.” She dragged out her name like she was a snake come to life. 

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Sirius replied with a purr of his own. It was like he was sinking deeper into the safety of the performance. It made James wonder how much of Sirius’s, and in turn Regulus’s, childhood still stuck with each of them. Sirius grabbed Mrs. Zabini’s hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. She grinned down at him with a sharp smile. 

Sirius was just straightening back up, moving slowly and with precision when a breeze built from the other side of the clearing swept through the group. James was still so focused on the people in front of him that he almost didn’t notice the way it rushed through his hair, making goosebumps break out over his skin. 

Regulus tensed up, freezing in place, just as Severus tilted his head, his long hair moving unnaturally along with him. 

“You brought a human,” Severus breathed, his drawling voice finally showing a spark of interest. His words weren’t a question, but Sirius answered them anyway. 

“He’s with us,” Sirius said in that same polite, easy tone. “We won’t allow you to harm him.” 

Antonin’s head twitched, the motion so quick that James almost thought he’d imagined it, but then Lily was taking a sharp step forward and Regulus was moving to stand directly in front of him. 

The others seemed to move around him like water swept up in a storm, a lulling motion that meant force and danger. Antonin, Severus, and Mrs. Zabini moved at the same moment, each of them lurching forward a step or two before freezing. James couldn’t process it completely, he felt like his hearing had cut out. It was only the sound of his own breathing that made him realize that the noise he was hearing was hissing. Like alley cats having a fight, the two groups of vampires were making animalistic noises of warning at each other. 

Severus was the first one to move, straightening up as he took one step backward. “Perhaps it’s best if we’re on our way.”  

“I think that’s a good idea,” Lily snapped. Severus’s eyes flicked over toward her for a split second before settling on James’s face. James couldn't make out the subtleties in his expression, but there was something like curiosity and entertainment there. It was gone in a blink of an eye. 

“Come along, boys,” Mrs. Zabini said, stepping backward just as Severus had. Antonin didn’t move for a moment, but eventually, he stepped back as well. All three of them turned in unison and in a flash they were gone, disappearing into the tree line as if they’d never existed. 

No one moved for a long moment, James didn’t dare breathe. He was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. His body felt numb. 

He blinked and Sirius had moved. He was standing face to face with Regulus, his hands on either side of Regulus’s face. He looked very much like an older brother trying to get his younger brother to pay attention. He was speaking so quickly that it took James’s brain a moment to catch up with the words flowing out of his mouth. 

“Take James and go. We’ll make sure they don’t circle back.” 

Pandora whispered something that James couldn’t hear. Sirius’s eyes jumped to James, then his face dropped into a blank expression as he looked back at Regulus. 

“Regulus, you have to go.” 

Regulus didn’t move, his body was still locked in place. James felt like someone had grabbed him by the throat and was slowly cutting off his air supply. 

“Regulus,” Sirius snapped harshly. Regulus seemed to jolt to life. The next thing James knew he was thrown onto Regulus’s strong back and they were running through the trees, just as they had on their way here. It wasn't fun now. It didn’t feel like an adventure anymore. It didn’t feel like anything at all. 

They made it back to the Jeep in record time. Regulus set James down on his feet gently despite the franticness of his movements, but James still stumbled to the side, catching himself roughly on the metal door. Regulus’s hands were around his waist in an instant. 

“Get inside,” Regulus hissed. He almost sounded angry and James’s stomach sank. 

“Are you mad at me?” James asked in a choked-off voice. He couldn't bear to look Regulus in the eyes. His stomach hurt.

“Of course not, don’t be an idiot,” Regulus said harshly. James’s stomach ache got abruptly worse. 

“I’m not,” James mumbled. 

Regulus sighed very quietly. “We don’t have time for this,” he muttered under his breath. James didn’t know if he was talking to himself or not. “I’m not angry with you, but we need to move. It’s not safe here, okay?” 

James’s chest loosened, but only slightly. It reminded him of when he was a child and would feel that distant feeling of something wrong, when he would search endlessly for a reason just so he could put the feeling where it belonged. He couldn’t remember this bad feeling’s source yet. 

“Please get in the Jeep,” Regulus said gently. James nodded, then opened the Jeep door, jumping with shaking legs onto the seat. It was just as awkward this time as it was earlier that night, but he managed to do it on his own this time. Regulus slammed the door once he was fully inside and was in the driver’s seat in the blink of an eye. He reached over and started buckling James in with deft fingers. 

“Why aren't we safe?” James asked, every one of Regulus’s words arriving a beat too late in his addled brain. 

Regulus glanced up at him for a second before turning his attention back to the buckles. 

“Dolohov,” he said grimly. 

James’s eyebrows furrowed. “What about him?” 

Regulus sighed tightly. “He’s a hunter, James.”

“A hunter?”

“Some vampires get a thirst for game more than blood, they want to hunt people, and since people aren’t very good targets, they find other ways to keep things interesting. When he saw the way we tried to protect you…”

He leaned away and started the Jeep quickly, throwing it into reverse and maneuvering it back down the tiny lane with a skill James had never seen. He looked like he was barely looking through the rearview mirror. James waited a moment for Regulus to continue. 

“When you tried to protect me?” James prompted. Regulus clenched his teeth together. 

“We—I’ve just made this his most exciting game yet. You’re more protected than most humans would be. Killing you…” 

Everything clicked into place in an instant. The hissing, the expressions on each of the visitors’ faces, all of it. James suddenly felt dizzy. His breath was caught in his throat, sucking in the air was impossible. James wanted to put his head between his knees, but it felt impossible with how tight the belt buckle was. 

He tried to speak, to ask for something, to beg for anything, but no words came out, nothing left his mouth. 

Something crashed into the side of the jeep just as they left the trees, returning to the paved road for the first time in hours. A shout spilled out of James, but Regulus didn’t seem to react, even as the door to the back seat was peeled open. James’s desperate breathing sped up even further. In and out. In and out. In and out. In and out. Not a single breath seemed to enter his lungs, it was like they were all being caught in his throat. 

His vision blacked out without him realizing, but he could no longer see, there was nothing around him, nothing but empty darkness. 

“Regulus, he’s having a panic attack.” 

Whose voice was that? James wondered desperately. He didn’t recognize it. It sounded muffled like he was listening to it underwater.  

“We have to get out of here,” Regulus snarled. James wanted to shrivel up and die. He sounded so angry, furious, uncontrollable. He’d said he wasn’t mad but what if he was lying? What if he’d just said that to get James into the car? 

The palms of James’s hands burned like he was touching a fire poker. He was going to suffocate. He was sure of it. 

“Stop, Regulus. Stop. You’re scaring him.” 

“Lily, please,” Regulus snapped. 

“Regulus, look at him,” Lily snapped back. 

Lily, James thought, it’s Lily. That’s who the voice belonged to. 

“James?” Regulus said, his voice harsh again. James wondered if he would die from lack of air as his chest got even tighter. “James.” Regulus’s voice softened abruptly into something sugary and floral. “Jamie?” Regulus’s cold fingers brushed against James’s burning cheek. 

James sucked in a breath of air, his first taste of air in what felt like hours. “My dad,” he said, the word barely making it out of his lips. 

“What?” Regulus asked gently. 

James’s words came before his mind fully comprehended what he was going to say. “He’ll go to my father. You talked about following my scent. He can do that too, can’t he? He’ll go to my father and he’ll hurt him.”

“James,” Regulus said slowly. 

“I need to go home.” 

“You can’t,” Regulus said, his voice devoid of emotion suddenly. “I’m getting you to safety. You can’t go home.” 

“Reg,” Lily said softly. 

“No!” Regulus shouted. “No, that’s exactly where Dolohov expects you to go. You cannot go home.” 

“What about my father?” James shouted, the words escaping him louder than he expected them to. “You expect me to just let him die because of us?” 

“You mean because of me,” Regulus said tightly. 

James looked over at him. He didn’t remember getting his vision back, but suddenly the darkness was gone and he was back inside the Jeep. Thunder crashed violently around them. James hadn't even noticed the lightning. They were speeding down the road at a pace that James tried not to think about. He wasn’t typically afraid of Regulus’s driving, but the way Regulus was gripping the steering wheel tonight was making him nervous. 

“No, I don’t mean because of you,” James said quietly, his voice nearly a whisper. 

“He wouldn’t have chosen you if it wasn't for me.” 

James didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like it was Regulus’s fault that a crazed vampire had locked onto James as his next target. There was no way for Regulus to know that the visitors were going to show up tonight. Perhaps Pandora knew, but that didn't mean she’d told Regulus.

“I don’t blame you,” James said. 

“Enough of this,” Lily interrupted with a roll of her eyes so loud that James could hear it without looking at her. “You’re both idiots. James, I’ll send Barty to check on your father. He’ll be safe.”

“But he won’t understand why I didn’t come home,” James said. 

“You can call him later,” Lily suggested. Regulus kept his lips sealed. 

“No,” James said. “No, you don’t understand. He’s not well. He’ll forget, he won’t remember that I was even there. Sometimes I think he still believes my mom is still alive. I can't just leave him with nothing. I can't leave him in that house.”

“Could we send him somewhere?” Lily directed the question at Regulus. 

Regulus didn't respond. He was glaring down the road in front of them like it was his personal enemy. 

James felt the panic start to pull at his chest again, the worry, the feeling of being trapped swirling around him like they were all dancing around a fire. What if Regulus didn’t stop the car? How would James get home? He couldn’t return home without protection, he couldn’t lead Antonin there, but he had to do something. 

He imagined going home alone, he imagined Antonin outside in the rain watching through James’s windows, listening in on his conversations. He imagined him breaking in, ripping his father’s throat out before he could even think to scream. He imagined him sneaking down the hallway to James’s bedroom, creeping inside… 

“James, breathe,” Lily said. James hadn’t realized he’d stopped. He sucked in a long breath. 

“Do you think he’ll follow me there?” 

No one answered him for a long few moments. “Yes,” Lily finally said. “He probably will.” 

“Then you should take me home,” James said matter-of-factly. 

“What?” Regulus growled. James tried not to let the noise affect him, but it danced up his spine dangerously. He should have found it scary, he thought disappointedly down at his crouch. 

“Let me go home. I’ll tell my dad that I’m leaving, if Antonin is listening then he’ll know I’m not at home anymore and hopefully he’ll leave my father alone. Then you can take me wherever you want. I’ll go willingly. I promise.” 

No one spoke, the vehicle was filled to the brim with loaded, heavy silence. James wondered if he would have to make the argument again. He wondered if he would have to beg. He would beg if Regulus wanted him to. Though Lily’s arrival made that a bit awkward. 

“It’s not a bad idea,” Lily said tentatively, her gentle voice cutting through the silence like a hot knife. 

Regulus seemed to be grinding his teeth together. James wondered if his jaw hurt. He wanted to place his lips against his jaw to encourage him to relax. He wanted to touch him. Everything would be okay if James could touch him. 

“Fine,” Regulus said. 

“Fine?” James breathed. 

“We’ll go to your house. You can talk to your dad, but I want you out of the house in less than twenty minutes.” 

James’s chest loosened completely. Though he was still in danger, it was the thought of his father suffering because of him that was pulling him under. He would die a hundred times if it meant the people he loved survived. 

“Wait,” he said suddenly. “We have to go by your house first.” 

“Why?” Regulus asked. 

“I have to take my truck. If I show up without my truck, my dad is going to know something is wrong. He’s not the most observant, but he’s not an idiot.”

“Lily—”

“I’m on it,” she said quickly. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and placed it against her ear, whispering into it in a rush. Regulus didn’t look away from the road, but James couldn’t drag his eyes away from him. He wanted so badly for Regulus to look at him, to tell him that it was going to be okay. 

He stupidly wanted to ask again if Regulus was mad at him. He only kept himself from doing it knowing that Lily would overhear. That wasn’t a part of himself that he wanted anyone other than Regulus to see. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was doing something wrong though. Every moment had felt wrong since the visitors had arrived. 

“Barty will meet us there with the truck,” Lily said. James jumped slightly. “I’m going to meet them at the house. I need to talk to Pandora.” 

Regulus nodded once but didn’t respond. James wasn’t sure if he should say something but before he could formulate a response, Lily was jumping out of the Jeep all while it was speeding into town. James waited a whole two minutes before speaking. 

“I don’t blame you,” he said, repeating the words he’d said earlier. 

“You should,” Regulus said after a beat of silence. 

“You could have known, and you didn't do anything wrong beyond trying to protect me. I mean, what else were you going to do? Let him eat me in the middle of the woods.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Regulus snapped. “You have no idea—”

“Can I touch you?” James whispered. 

“What?” Regulus said faintly, glancing at James for the first time in a while. James smiled. 

“I want to touch you.” 

Regulus stared at him for a second before slowly nodding. James reached out with gentle fingers and brushed one of Regulus’s rogue circles behind his ear. 

“Jamie,” Regulus whispered. 

“Take me home,” James whispered back. “Then we can stay together.”

Regulus searched his face, then nodded with grim determination. 

Chapter Text

Regulus parked the Jeep a block away and walked James to the end of his driveway, hyper-aware that Dolohov was in the area. He could smell his scent in the air, he wasn’t close yet, but he would be within a handful of minutes. Regulus wanted to confront him now, he wanted to grab him by the throat and drag him as far away as he could from James. He would have under different circumstances, but the problem was that he had no way of knowing if he would win. He was a skilled fighter, he had to be with the Black family's wrath following him from continent to continent, but that didn’t mean he was unbeatable. Dolohov had the look of a man who hadn’t lost many fights. Alone, Regulus might die and if he died then who would stay and make sure James was safe? 

Lily might do it. She seemed to have a soft spot for him, but that didn’t mean she would go to the same lengths Regulus would. He would kill anyone that tried to hurt James but could Lily say the same? He highly doubted it. She'd been ruthless once, but not for a very long time.

He vaguely considered calling his family and requesting that they help him take on Dolohov the moment he stepped foot on the Potter’s property, but he could already hear Sirius, Lily, and Evan hammering on about “strategy.” Regulus was usually right there with them, planning the best way to approach conflict so none of them would get hurt and they were ensured to win, but he couldn’t think beyond the way Dolohov’s nostrils had flared when James’s scent crossed the clearing. 

“Twenty minutes,” Regulus whispered to James as they approached the house. He kissed him once on the lips. He was soft beneath Regulus's strong hands, every part of him was pliable, but with a simple gaze from James, Regulus felt like he was the one crumbling. 

“Okay,” James whispered. He sounded nervous, his heart hammering in his chest. The sound of it echoed in Regulus's ears, but he didn’t mind. It was a constant reminder that James was still alive, still safe, at least for now. 

“I’ll meet you in your truck,” Regulus replied. James smiled shakily, his pink lips stretching across his white teeth. It would have distracting if Regulus had a spare thought to offer. James squeezed his hand once then turned to jog up the driveway to his front door. His truck was already parked out front, Barty's quick work. He could sense Lily and Barty in the area, they would be able to hear whatever James said to his father. Strangely, Regulus hoped they weren't listening. He felt like this moment was something James deserved privacy for. 

At least privacy from them, Regulus couldn't help but listen in. 

“James. What’s going on?” Fleamont asked, his voice frantic. 

“I can't stay here,” James replied. His voice was shaking so badly that his words were only barely audible. This was wrong, James sounding like that was wrong. He shouldn’t ever sound so upset, so scared and hurt. 

At that moment, Regulus hated himself more than he ever had in his entire life. That was truly saying something given the terrible state of his self-esteem over his life. He’d hated himself since he was a human child, but now look at what he'd done. The situation he'd put in James was unforgivable. 

“What do you mean? You just got here,” Fleamont said, his voice rising in pitch. 

“I know. That’s why I have to leave, I have to go before I get stuck.”

“Stuck?” Fleamont asked just as a door slammed. It must have been James's bedroom, it sounded like it was from the upstairs hallway, and there was a very slightly scraping noise of metal hitting metal that only happened on James’s door. It had likely been damaged years ago, but it was such a small thing that no human noticed it. 

Regulus wondered if it was creepy that he knew that. That he knew the subtleties of every sound in James’s home. 

“Dad, please.”

"No!" Fleamont shouted. "What happened tonight? It's late, it'll be morning in a few hours, just calm down and we can talk about it when the sun is up." 

"I have to go now,” James said harshly. 

"Where will you go?” Fleamont said. Both of them started moving down the stairs quickly, their feet creaking the wooden steps that struggled to stay together after so much time. Fleamont’s feet were a tad slower as he struggled to lift them and move as quickly as James was moving. 

“Anywhere. I’ll just drive till I get tired then I’ll pull into a motel or something." 

“This is a bad idea. At least wait until later. It’s dangerous to drive like this,” Fleamont rambled. They were almost to the door, the sound of James's duffle bag swinging adding a layer of urgency to the conversation. 

“Dad,” James snapped. Regulus could hear him turning, his boots squeaking against the floor. “Just let me go.”

“But—”

“You can’t force me to die here like you did Mom,” James said in a low voice. Regulus felt the words land, he heard the breath forced out of Fleamont’s chest, a choking sound following like he was holding back tears. He heard James suck in a stuttering breath, the only indication that he was affected by what he’d just said. 

Only a second passed, but it must have felt like an eternity to them. James turned again and flew through the front door, slamming it behind him, blocking out Fleamont who was standing shell-shocked behind it. James was in tears before he entered his truck. Regulus climbed into the passenger seat as fast as he could as James began backing out of the driveway. 

“Why did I say that?” he whispered as he began driving down the street at a glacial pace. 

“Let me drive,” Regulus said. 

“‘M already driving,” James mumbled. Regulus wrapped an arm around James’s waist, stretching out his leg to replace James’s foot on the pedal, and as if he weighed nothing—which to Regulus he basically did—lifted him over his lap and settled him into the passenger seat, taking control of the truck smoothly. 

James leaned against the window instantly, loud sobs escaping his chest like a stone rolling down a hill, noise after noise like an unstoppable force. Regulus clenched his teeth, everything inside him aching terribly. He leaned over and pulled James against him. He couldn’t bear to have him so far, not when James was in so much pain, not when he was struggling to breathe. James tucked his face against Regulus’s neck, his glasses digging into his skin. 

“You did the right thing,” Regulus said. 

“He’s never going to forgive me.”

“He will. He loves you. He’ll forgive you. You had to make sure he wouldn’t follow and now he’ll stay here.”

“Did it work?” 

“Yes,” Regulus said. He could sense Dolohov moving behind them, far enough away that he couldn’t be seen, but close enough that no vampire would miss him. “He’s following us. He’ll leave your father be.”

James nodded sadly, deflating and leaning heavily into Regulus’s side. Regulus just held him on the drive to his house. It felt like it was all he could offer, and even that must have been a poor excuse given the way his body must feel to James. He wished he could be softer for him, that he could be warmer, more comforting. He felt like a lifeless statue, a being that shouldn’t exist, something that just came barreling into James’s life without a care for his safety. 

There wasn’t anything to do about that now, but it was a mistake that he was sure he would regret for the rest of his unnatural life. 

They arrived at home only ten or so minutes later, Regulus had driven as fast as James’s truck would allow, which wasn’t very fast. He could hear his family waiting for him inside. They weren’t speaking, either because they were waiting for him or because what they needed to say had already been said. He couldn’t be sure yet and he didn’t feel like searching for the pasts inside yet. He wasn’t physically tired, but his mind felt run-ragged. 

“Come on, let’s go inside,” Regulus said to James. James lifted his head and blinked blearily at him. His face was red and blotchy from crying, Regulus placed a soft kiss against his cheek, helpless to stop himself, and then helped James out of the car. James came willingly, his body malleable. 

Regulus could feel Dolohov’s intrusive eyes on his neck as they slowly walked into the house. He wasn’t even sure if Dolohov was close enough to look at them so directly, but he could feel him nonetheless. The adrenaline of being chased, of being hunted, made his stomach turn. 

He opened the front door prepared to see every member of his family waiting for him and when he made eye contact with Sirius first, his shoulders dropped slightly, but when his eyes slid over each of them in turn and landed on an extra person, he nearly threw James over his shoulder and sprinted away. Sitting in the center of his living room was Severus Snape. He couldn’t say how he reacted but it must have been concerning because Sirius intervened instantly. 

“He’s here to warn us,” Sirius said quickly, jumping to his feet. 

“Warn us?” Regulus said. What else did they need to be warned about, they all already knew that Dolohov was following them and that at his first opportunity, he would kill James. 

“Antonin is going to kill your human…pet,” Severus said unhelpfully. He sneered at James as he said it, and James, who Regulus had never seen give anyone a dirty look, sneered back. Regulus's eyebrows raised halfway up his forehead. 

“We know,” Regulus said dryly. 

Severus had the gall to roll his eyes as if he hadn’t come here willingly. “He won’t stop. I grow tired of his games, but he never will. Are you sure he is worth the trouble?” The way he glared at the word ‘he’ made it more than obvious who he was talking about. If Regulus wasn’t so unwilling to leave James’s side, he would have been over there in a second. 

“He’s worth it,” Sirius said dangerously before Regulus had a chance to reply. 

“Then you should know that he’s more dangerous than any vampire I’ve ever met. The only way to stop him is to kill him and he’s never lost a fight.”

“Does he have any abilities?” Lily asked. 

“If he does, he holds them close to his chest,” Severus responded. “I’ve only been with him for a decade.” 

Regulus nodded once. He couldn’t help but wonder what Severus was holding back, what secrets he was unwilling to tell us. 

“Why are you telling us this?” Regulus asked. 

“If you somehow manage to kill Antonin, I don’t want to pay the price for his crimes.” 

Regulus wasn’t sure that he believed him. He felt like he was missing something in their dynamic but he didn’t think he was going to get answers right now. “Is that all then?” 

Severus’s lips twitched like he might laugh, but then his face dropped back into that blank disinterest. “That’s all.” 

“See yourself out then,” James said. Regulus really wasn’t sure why he disliked the man so much, but he wasn’t going to ask him where Severus could hear. Severus left without a word, though he threw one more disdainful sneer at James on his way through the door. Once he was gone, James deflated again. He must have been exhausted. Regulus wondered how long he’d been awake and if he’d need to sleep soon.

A few tense minutes passed after Severus left, it felt like the room was waiting for something as if the next shoe was about to drop. Barty was the one to break the silence. Regulus should have guessed. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Barty asked with a small grin. He was still enjoying this, despite the danger James was in. Regulus wasn’t surprised. He would die with a laugh on his lips before he ever took the world seriously. He would only show real anger if Evan were the one suffering. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for his family, it was just that irreverence was much more important to him. 

“Are we being listened to?” Lily asked. 

Pandora shook her head. “He’s too far to hear us. He’s—” She lifted a single finger in the air, her eyes drifting off into somewhere unseen, then spun the finger in a wide circle. “—circling.” 

“What do we do?” Lily said, placing a hand against Pandora’s lower back. Pandora blinked her visions away, smiling softly up at Lily. 

“We have to get James out of the country,” Regulus said. 

“The country?” James asked alarmedly. 

“Yes. It’ll make it harder for him to follow. I doubt he has a passport. He’ll have to run wherever we go.” 

“I can’t leave the country.”

“Why not?” Lily asked. 

“Well, I don’t know. I haven’t even gone overseas before.”

“It’s easy to track,” Sirius said thoughtfully. “There might be a record of where he went.”

“He wouldn’t have to stay here,” Regulus argued. “I could move him.” 

“Regulus,” Pandora said with a quiet sigh. “You can’t go with him.” 

Everything froze, the room itself turned to ice. “What?” he breathed. 

“He knows that you’ll never go anywhere without him. He’ll know you’ll be with him even if you're in another country.” 

“No—” Regulus started to say. Pandora cut him off with a narrowing of her eyes, his words died in his throat. He knew what that look meant, what she was doing him a courtesy by not saying out loud. If you go with James, James dies. “Then what?” 

“You stay here,” Sirius said. “You, Evan, and I can lead him off track. Barty—”

“I’m staying too,” Barty said, he was still smiling. Regulus wanted to rip his teeth out. 

“Okay,” Sirius said without argument. “Lily and Pandora can—”

“We’ll keep him safe, Regulus,” Lily said. Regulus felt like he was falling. 

“Where will you go?” Regulus asked. 

“Don’t I get a say in this?” James mumbled. He looked unhappy. Regulus didn’t think he was unhappy with Regulus specifically, but suddenly the thought that James was upset with him seemed like the worst possible outcome. 

“I think we both know where they have to go,” Sirius said, cringing slightly. 

“Oh, no. I’m not giving him to them. They’ll eat him alive.”

“What?” James whispered. 

“He’s kidding,” Sirius said. 

“Is he?” Evan mumbled too low for James to hear. 

Lily was up and across the room in the blink of an eye. “Trust me, Regulus. They can keep him safe until you deal with Antonin.” 

Regulus clenched his teeth. He could feel James’s eyes on him, he could feel all of their eyes on him. He wondered if they’d already discussed this plan and if they all already knew that Regulus was going to have to say goodbye. The thought alone felt like someone was tearing his lungs from his chest. 

“Let’s pack our things,” Pandora said softly, standing from where she’d been sitting on the couch and reaching out a hand to usher Lily toward her. Lily squeezed Regulus’s arm once, it was supposed to be a comforting gesture but Regulus was too angry to appreciate it. The two of them were gone in an instant. Sirius, Barty, and Evan were gone as well, heading out in the garage to discuss their plan. He could still hear their quiet voices, Evan’s sharp annoyance cutting through Sirius and Barty’s discussion. Evan wasn’t happy about helping James. Regulus tried not to let it get to him, he knew how Evan was, but it didn't help that he was barely holding it together. 

“Regulus,” James said softly. He had dark circles under his eyes. They hadn’t been there a few hours ago. Regulus wanted to tuck him into his bed upstairs and hold him until he fell asleep. He wouldn't get to do that now, they couldn't spare the time waiting til the morning. James had to go now. “Where am I going?” 

Regulus frowned slightly, turning so that he could pull James against him. “I’ll let Lily and Pandora explain it. You’ll be safe though. I promise to meet you as soon as I can.” 

“Frank is going to wonder why I didn't come into work,” James mumbled, but his arms settled around Regulus’s shoulders as he spoke like his earlier irritation was gone. 

“You can still call him. I’m not taking your phone from you,” Regulus said, smiling softly. 

“Oh, good,” James said, as if he thought that might actually happen. “I don’t know how this whole witness protection thing works.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes quickly, but he couldn’t help but smile. “I’m sorry about this,” he said, sobering instantly. “I shouldn’t have put you in this position.”

“It’s not your fault,” James said. 

“How can it not be? I’m the reason that Dolohov knows who you are. He’s coming after you because of me. If we’d never met, then you wouldn’t be in danger right now.” 

“You don’t know that,” James replied confidently. “Actually, if we hadn’t met I probably would have been abducted by those men in Hogsmeade.” 

Regulus’s throat felt tight, anger surging through him. “Don’t remind me,” he said darkly. James grinned indulgently at him like he was nothing more than a gentle kitten with its nails out. “I promise we’ll be reunited soon.”

“I know,” James whispered. “I trust you.” Regulus squeezed him just a tiny bit closer. “Please keep my father safe. He’s going to be confused. I don’t want him to suffer because of me.” 

“I promise,” Regulus said. He was making a lot of promises tonight. He hoped that he didn’t break any of them. He stretched up onto his toes to place a kiss against James’s lips. There was still so much he wanted to do with him, so much time they hadn’t gotten to spend together. This couldn’t be the last time that they saw each other. Regulus wouldn’t survive it. 

He deepened the kiss without thinking about it, placing his hand on the back of James’s head to keep him close. 

They didn’t have any time left. Lily and Pandora were already on their way back. Sirius would be ready to move the moment he saw them. Still, Regulus prolonged the kiss, holding it until it was the final moment. 

He would see James again. He had to. 

Chapter Text

James couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept. Maybe twenty-four hours ago, something like that, but it hadn’t been a very restful sleep. Just thinking about how he’d tossed and turned the night before made his eyes heavy now. He was squished into the backseat of Lily’s vintage Jaguar. Pandora had offered to let him sit up front, but he’d declined. He was almost certain that once they were on the road, he was going to cry, and he didn’t want either of them to see. Not that he would be able to hide it, their vampire hearing would make it nearly impossible to hide, but he hoped that the backseat would allow him at least the illusion of privacy. 

So he was squished into the backseat, barely enough leg space for him to keep his toes from going numb. He wasn’t upset over it, he scarcely noticed it at all. He was too focused on the way Regulus’s lips had felt against his. Was that going to be their last kiss? Would he ever get to feel Regulus’s body pressed against his? 

When he was a kid, his mom used to say that he had a propensity for jumping to the worst possible outcome of a situation. He would overreact, not outwardly, but internally. He wondered what she would say about where his thoughts were going now. Would she call him a worrier like she usually did? Or would she sympathize with his longing to have Regulus next to him, safe and sound, again? 

He made it twenty minutes, but when a light pattering of rain began batting against the windows, the first tears fell, sliding silently down his cheeks. He didn’t bother to wipe them away, he was comforted by the feel of them, by the reminder that he had it easy. Regulus was out there somewhere, hunting Dolohov. His family was rallying around him, ensuring James’s safety. And what was James doing?

James was crying in the backseat of a car, like a dramatic child imagining themselves in a music video, like a drunk on his way home from a bar. He felt heartbroken having been separated from Regulus, especially remembering the way Regulus’s perfect face crinkled with worry. 

His thoughts became melodic and meditative as his tears continued to fall, the turmoil he felt over the day calmed like a waring sea dropped from a storm, leaving only a dull, empty buzzing that made his thoughts feel like nothing more than electricity flowing through the walls of an abandoned home. 

He couldn’t be sure when he fell asleep, but he didn’t wake until the car was slowly climbing up the side of a snowy mountain, decorated with thick trees on both sides of a thin road. 

James smacked his lips together, groaning as the white light from the snow blinded him briefly. The green and brown from the evergreen trees should have softened the blow, but the snow felt even more piercing with the plant accents. His mouth was dry like he’d been sleeping with it hanging open, the crust of drying drool sticking to the side of his face. He rubbed at his face surreptitiously, squinting at Lily and Pandora to see if they’d been paying attention to him. 

They were both staring straight ahead, their hands joined between their two seats. They were so still that they barely looked alive. James wondered if they were breathing. 

“Where are we?” James asked, clearing his throat gently when the words came out sounding like a garbled mess. He felt disgusting, like he’d been sweating in his sleep, and his hairline was still sticky with it. 

“Not far,” Pandora said. James’s eyebrows furrowed. He waited for her to elaborate, then felt stupid when he realized that was all the answer he was going to get. Lily didn’t say anything, she didn’t acknowledge him at all. 

He wondered if she was upset with him. She seemed to have a soft spot for him, but what if this fracture he was causing in her family was the final straw? What if this was the point where she decided he wasn’t worth the trouble? It made him ache to think about it, guilt settling low in his stomach. 

“Are you hungry, James?” Pandora asked as they took a curve a little too fast. The car moved smoothly, but James could see how far up they were when they crested around the side of the mountain, and his heart jumped nervously. 

“What?” he asked distractedly. 

“How often do you need to eat? It’s more often than we need to, I can see that.” 

“I’m fine,” James said, his stomach instantly betraying him by growling. It had been a while since he’d last eaten. 

Pandora whispered something so low that James couldn’t hope to make out the words. Lily nodded once, a jerky motion that made her look more like an animatronic than a living being. Or un-living being. Whatever vampires were referred to as. 

They didn’t drive for long, but by the time the car rolled to a stop, James was grasping the door handle like a man about to be sucked out of a plane. His heart was racing. He hadn’t thought he was afraid of heights, but perhaps mountains were different. The snowy mountain felt foreign to him, like an unknown monster waiting to swallow him whole. 

“They’re uncertain about James,” Pandora said. James stared at her questioningly, but she didn’t seem to be talking to him. It took him a long moment to realize she was actually looking at something and not just staring off into the distance. The trees grew thicker where they’d stopped, piling on top of each other like something out of a storybook, but through the sliver of space between them, he could make out a building, about a hundred yards away. 

“Who’s uncertain about me?” James asked nervously, whispering the words without intending to. 

“Let’s go inside,” Lily said, her voice soothing James instantly. She didn’t sound angry with him. That didn’t mean she wasn’t angry, he knew better than that, but at least she didn’t seem likely to snap at him anytime soon. He was grateful for it. His eyes ached from crying and poor sleep.

The three of them climbed out of the car together: Lily and Pandora gracefully, and James like a bear learning to walk for the first time. He nearly tumbled to his knees when his foot slipped on the ice, but Lily, reaching out to catch him, kept him from falling. She let him go the moment he seemed steady. 

He had to walk carefully to keep from sliding around as they made their way up to the thick line of trees and snow. The ground was treacherous, and it didn’t help that he kept violently shivering against the cold. He’d been dressed warmly for Godric’s Hollow, but now faced with a real winter, he could seldom bear it. 

The house itself was old and massive. It looked abandoned, the roof barely knitted together under a thick blanket of snow, the dead plants creating obstacles all around the base of the structure. It looked like it had once been painted white, but wear and tear from the harsh weather had stripped it down to the pale brown of the wood below. Three stories towered over them, but even at its height, it felt like it was never meant to grow so tall like a young boy who’d shot up over the summer holidays, hunching over to keep from being noticed. 

He almost felt like they shouldn’t be entering the front door, but Pandora and Lily proceeded forward like this was exactly what they were expecting. 

Inside, he expected to be faced with a nearly condemned building, a structure that could only be called a safe house on principle alone. Instead, he found rooms that were disturbingly modern like a museum that hadn’t been visited in over a decade. The floors were sparkling clean, the walls a stark white that hurt his eyes, and the furniture just pieces of art made to look like places of comfort. 

It was also hauntingly quiet. 

Not even a whisper of movement filled the air. Pandora had said that whoever was inside was uncertain about him, but he had a hard time believing anyone existed inside the home. He knew vampires could be still and quiet, but this seemed to be taking it to a new level. 

James trailed after Lily as they moved through the house quickly, ascending to the third floor without stopping, but it was only when they entered a hospital-like bedroom that James noticed that Pandora had left them. 

“I know you need food,” Lily said, her voice making him jump. He’d already grown accustomed to the mausoleum-like silence. “I will have to go back out for it. I’ll return soon.”  She turned to leave, but James reached out a panicked hand to stop her. She raised a quizzical eyebrow at him, her face as hard as marble. His heart hammered in his chest, feelings of abandonment slicing down his skin. 

“You’re mad at me,” James said. It wasn’t a question, but it came out pathetic like it was one. He almost wished he hadn’t said it, the moment it was out of his mouth he regretted it, but then Lily’s face softened. 

“No, James,” she said. 

“I’ve torn your family apart,” he argued. Part of him wanted to remind himself that telling Lily all the reasons she should hate him wasn’t helping his case, but another part of him knew that if she decided later that she did despise him, it would hurt far worse than if she threw him away now. 

She pursed her lips thoughtfully, but her eyes didn’t grow angry. 

“Before Sirius decided to return to Godric’s Hollow, I never saw Regulus look happy. For a long time, I didn’t know why he bothered to stay with us. It took me a long time to understand that it was his bond with Sirius that kept him around. They’d only had each other as children, and that bond had only been strengthened when they became vampires. I think without Sirius, Regulus would have disappeared, he would become nothing but dust either through forced death or living mummification.”

James felt his mouth hanging open, trying to absorb the words she was speaking. 

“Only you have brought him anything worth living for,” Lily said matter-of-factly. “I could never hate you. Not when you’ve brought someone I love so much happiness.” 

She left him alone after that, walking out the door like she hadn’t just rewritten his DNA with her words, and he was left to spiral through the thoughts of what he was to Regulus. 

He tried exploring the room to distract himself, but it was just a white room without decor. Even the window only looked out onto the snowy trees, he couldn’t make out much of anything. There wasn't much furniture beyond the bed, a bedside table, and a chair pushed up against the window. It was disturbing, but he tried not to dwell on why. If he let his thoughts wander too much, he might start feeling like he was in a prison cell. 

He took a shower in the adjoining bathroom and changed into a new set of clothes from the bag he’d rapidly packed earlier. It made him feel a bit more human to finally feel clean, but at the same time, it made him feel more stale like he was just another piece of decor in the empty room.

Once he lay down on the bed, he thought he would spend the next few hours ruminating, caught in the trap of feeling like a patient waiting on his deathbed, but the moment his eyes were closed, James was out, drifting in a dreamless sleep. 

It wasn't until a pillow smacked him square in the face that he woke up, sitting up in bed and gasping like someone was trying to smother him in his sleep. He blinked to clear his vision, searching around the room for his attacker—regardless of the fact that it was only a soft pillow hitting him in the face—and gasped again when his eyes settled on a woman dressed all in black, sitting sideways in the chair near the window. 

“What the fuck?” he said breathlessly, confused and unnerved. 

She looks like Sirius. That was the first thought he had, and he didn’t even consciously think it. Their relation to each other was just that obvious: the same curly black hair, the same sharp gaze, the same hollow cheeks, and pouty lips. It was striking. 

“Who—”

“You’ve been asleep for so long,” she said, her voice cutting, manic, and musical, a mixture that made his skin break out in goosebumps. “If I couldn’t hear you snoring, I might have thought you died in your sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” James said, still lost. 

“Apology accepted,” the woman said crisply, she had her back against one of the arms of the chair and her legs thrown over the other arm, her feet propped up against the window. She was wearing black slippers and black socks, both of which looked modern, but the rest of her clothes looked like they were from the early 1900s. 

“Sorry, who are you?” James asked. 

She gasped like she was offended, but her eyes glinted with cruel humor. “Little Reggie didn't mention me?” she asked. 

“Uh, he might have,” James said awkwardly. “It was a bit rushed, with me leaving and him… staying.” He held out his hands uncomfortably. He felt caught off guard, not quite awake enough to deal with the intense person speaking to him. 

“Oh, you’re adorable,” she mumbled, almost like she was disappointed. “I’m Bellatrix. Regulus and Sirius’s cousin.” She raised her eyebrows impressively. 

“Oh!” James said, snapping his fingers. “They did mention you.” 

She grinned, her teeth sharp and strikingly white. “Good. Now, let’s move on to more important things.” 

“Like what?” James asked, doing his best not to let his nervousness show. Her grin got even wider. 

“You’re being stalked by a hunter, James.” She said his name with a purr, like a big cat getting ready to break its prey’s neck. “That’s very intriguing. I want to know what’s so special about you.” 

James frowned. She seemed entertained by his predicament. “There isn't anything special about me.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I should have known. You’re humble too. That’s why Reggie likes you. He always liked a wounded animal.” 

“Excuse me?” James said. He did his best to sound offended, but the words came out a bit wounded, and he felt embarrassed that he might be proving her point. 

She waved her hand around like she was dismissing him, her nails were very long and sharp, painted a deep red color that looked like drying blood. “He just has a type,” she said. 

“He does?” James asked, jealousy starting to pool in his stomach. Her eyes flashed back to his face. 

“You’re possessive of him,” she stated. James felt his cheeks grow hot, but he didn’t try to deny it. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

“Of course, I’m possessive of him,” James blurted out without meaning to. “Have you seen him?” 

Bellatrix shrugged. “He’s fine.”

James gasped. “He’s not fine, he’s far better than fine—”

“Bella, you said you weren’t going to antagonize him.” The hearty voice proceeded a woman entering his bedroom by only half a second, but he still wasn’t expecting the person who entered. She looked almost identical to Bellatrix, except every detail about her was softened. Instead of pitch-black hair, deep, chestnut brown curls fell around her face, instead of sharp, long, red nails, her nails were clipped short and painted a delicate peach. 

“I’m not,” Bellatrix said. “We’re just talking. Right, James?” 

“Right,” he agreed awkwardly. 

“You don’t need to lie to her,” the woman said with a dramatic roll of her eyes. “Don’t let her push you around.” She whispered the last part like it was a secret shared between them, and James couldn't help but laugh. She was charming, almost in a disarming way. “I’m Andromeda.” 

“Andromeda,” he repeated. "Sirius mentioned you.” 

“Good,” Andromeda said, her smile kind. She turned toward her sister, the two of them could almost be twins. “Come downstairs and let him rest.” 

“It’s okay,” James said quickly. “I’m awake now. I might as well get out of bed.” He felt awkward still sitting in his pajamas, especially now that two strangers were in the room with them, but they seemed unbothered by his presence. 

“See?” Bellatrix said. “He’s fine.” Despite her statement, she climbed out of the chair fluidly, and the two of them left the room without another word. He dressed quickly, embarrassed that he’d slept so long and antsy to find out if there were any changes or updates with Dolohov. He found the rest of the house as empty as he’d left it hours earlier, and for a moment, he wondered if he’d imagined Bellatrix and Andromeda completely, but then he wandered into a sterile-looking office and realized he wasn’t alone. 

A woman was standing near the window draped with thick curtains, only a sliver of light spilling between them. The sun had begun to set, and it gave the room an orange tinge that made everything feel surreal, like something out of a science fiction movie from the 80s. The woman was standing so that one eye could look out the window, so close to the glass that she looked like she was spying on someone. She had white-blonde hair that fell to the middle of her back, and she was wearing an all-black suit, cut to accentuate her thin frame. 

“Oh, sorry,” James said after standing there staring at her like an idiot for a full 60 seconds. “I was looking for Lily.” She turned to look at him slowly, her movements stiff like a doll brought to life. Her eyes were the same golden gray as the rest of her family, but there was something haunted about them, like they were seeing more than they should have been. 

“She had to leave,” she said, her voice like scissors cutting through a strand of hair. 

“Oh, right, okay,” James muttered. He backed up quickly and stumbled out of the room. He hurried down the hallway, away from the office, and ended up in a kitchen. All the appliances were new, James noticed instantly, which seemed a bit ridiculous for a house full of vampires. 

“There you are,” a man said. James nearly jumped out of his skin. These vampires needed to stop sneaking up on him. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” James turned slightly to see a doorway on the far side of the long kitchen, a man leaning against the frame like he was trying to look relaxed. 

Immediately, James thought he might be one of the most attractive men he’d ever seen. Not more attractive than Regulus, that was just absurd, but still. He had curly brown hair that was clipped short around his ears, but fluffy and voluminous on the top of his head, his eyes were gentle and framed by the longest eyelashes James had ever seen. He was tall, taller than James even, and his shoulders were broad like he spent all his time chopping wood. 

“Um, who are you?” James asked, his voice humiliatingly distant. The man smiled softly, and though James was sure the man could see the effect he was having on him, he didn’t look like he was mocking James. 

“I’m Edward, but you may call me Ted.” 

“Ted,” James repeated. 

“Andromeda’s husband,” he supplied. 

“Oh!” James nearly shouted. “You’re the one that saved her from her family.” 

Ted’s smile grew, a genuine happiness behind it now. James felt a bit starstruck seeing it. “Is that how Sirius is describing me these days?” he asked. 

“He implied,” James corrected, although that wasn't totally true. Ted shook his head, a low laugh leaving his mouth. 

“You must have a lot of questions,” Ted said. James felt his body relax. He did. He had so many questions, but it always felt like people were trying to evade them. He started with an easy one. 

“Yes, who is…” he trailed off, pointing toward the office he’d escaped from. 

“Ah,” Ted said quietly. “Narcissa. She’s the youngest of the three sisters. You’ll have to excuse her, she’s quite protective of our home here, and your arrival has put her on edge.”

“Oh no,” James breathed. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to put you out.” 

“You haven’t,” Ted assured him. “Narcissa is just overly worried. She hasn’t had as easy a time in her second life as the rest of us.” 

James was dreadfully curious about what Ted meant, but he didn’t want to pry. Especially knowing that Narcissa was likely listening through the walls. 

“Where are we?” he asked instead. 

“Alaska,” Ted answered. “Did Lily not tell you?” 

James shook his head. “She was a bit distracted, I think. I didn’t think to ask either, I was too tired.”

“Yes, I can imagine. Traveling is quite difficult for humans, isn't it?” He tilted his head as he asked the question, genuine curiousness in his eyes like he’d long since forgotten what it was like to be a living, breathing human. 

“It is,” James asked. “Sorry, I know this is likely rude, but how old are you?” He’d never been good at controlling his mouth. Luckily, Ted did not look offended. 

“Much older than Andromeda and her sisters,” Ted said evasively. 

“And how old are they?” 

“It’s not polite to ask a lady’s age,” Andromeda said suddenly, her voice coming from behind him. 

“Oh, sorry,” James said, proud that he only jumped slightly. Andromeda was smiling at him when he turned to look at her, but her eyes slid to Ted quickly, a heated expression sparking in her eyes for just long enough for James to feel the need to look away. 

“She’s only teasing,” Ted said, sounding fondly exasperated. “What year were you born, dear?” 

“1785,” she said. “But I always said 1788 if anyone asked, I didn’t want to be married to anyone my family picked, and it seemed the easiest way to get out of it.”

“1785?” James whispered. “How much older than Regulus are you?” 

“Not much,” Andromeda replied. “He was born in 1793.”

“Wow.”

“I’m surprised he didn't tell you,” Ted said. 

James didn't have time to feel bad about it before Andromeda spoke. “Perhaps he likes lying about his age. He wouldn’t be the only one,” she said, giving Ted a meaningful look. James glanced over just in time to see him smirk. 

“I was born somewhere in the late thirteenth century. My family was very poor, so they did not keep track of dates or years like the wealthy did, but I believe that’s close to correct.” 

“Holy shit,” James said. He’d meant to think it, but the words had slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

“Quite,” Ted said politely. James felt himself blush. “Are you hungry, James?” 

James’s stomach growled angrily in response. “Yes,” he said honestly. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Andromeda said quickly. “Lily brought food a few hours ago.” She started moving toward the fridge. 

“Where is Lily?” James asked.

“She had to run an errand,” Andromeda responded. “She and Pandora will be back soon. Don’t worry. They haven’t abandoned you.” 

“That’s good,” James said honestly, relaxing slightly. He hadn’t realized how worried he was about that exact thing happening. “Have you heard from Regulus?” 

“Not yet,” Andromeda said after a beat that made James nervous. “I’m sure we will soon.” She walked back from the fridge at a human pace. He wondered how often she moved slowly when it wasn’t necessary. He appreciated it nonetheless, it gave him a feeling of normalcy. She gestured toward a long, white table, and James took a seat with his back to the kitchen. She placed a white takeout box in front of him, grinning like she’d made it herself. 

James couldn’t deny he was curious, what would Lily have gotten for him? He almost expected something odd or outlandish, but inside the box was a pile of pasta drowning in red sauce. Despite how cold it was, it smelled delicious, and without bothering to heat it up, James dug in and started scarfing it down, barely breathing in between bites. He was so enthralled with the food that he didn’t notice Andromeda and Ted leaving until someone else came to sit across from him. 

“You're a messy eater,” Bellatrix said before James had time to acknowledge her. 

“What?” he said dumbly, his mouth full of food. He hadn’t noticed the way sauce had been spilling around him as he’d shoved the food into his mouth. His face was suspiciously wet, and he quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Sorry.” 

Bellatrix shrugged, leaning forward to prop her head up on her hands. “That’s okay. I am too.” She grinned sharply. “Or so they tell me.”

“Right,” James said, swallowing uncomfortably. Bellatrix continued to grin at him for a long moment before her smile fell into a pout. 

“Aren't you going to ask?” 

“Ask what?”

“About my eating habits?”

“No,” James said slowly. “Wouldn’t that be rude?”

Bellatrix threw her head back in a huff. “Did Regulus tell you that? He’s always so strict with himself.”

James almost disagreed with her. Regulus had never said anything of the sort, but for once, his thoughts slowed enough for him to think critically. 

“He doesn’t tell me much about being a vampire.”

“He was dreadfully shy as a child,” Bellatrix replied like it was a personal affront to her nature. “What hasn’t he told you?” 

James thought carefully before he spoke. “He won’t tell me how vampires are created,” he said. It wasn’t technically true, he’d never asked, but he was sure Regulus wouldn’t tell him if he did. 

“It’s so fun!” Bellatrix said in a mocking whisper. “I can’t believe he wouldn’t share.”

James shrugged as if to say ‘What are you going to do?”

“You see, our teeth are full of venom,” she said, then opened her mouth wide as if James would be able to see what she was referencing. “When the venom enters a human, it fills them with pain. So much pain that they can barely walk, at least for most of them, but usually, we drink fast enough that our prey doesn’t even feel it. But if you let the venom sit, if you let it run through a person’s veins, it’ll eventually reach their heart. Once that happens, they start to turn, the venom changes everything inside them and makes them one of us.”

James wasn't sure what to say, he wasn't sure he was fully processing what Bellatrix was saying to him. He blinked a few times at her eager face before he could think of something to say in reply. 

“How long does it take?” 

Bellatrix tilted her head back and forth like she was doing mental math. “It depends. For some of us, it doesn’t take long, and it’s not very painful. I quite enjoyed my transformation, but then again, I barely remember it, I was so strung out on pain, to begin with, that it hardly changed anything. Others…”

For a flash of a second, Bellatrix’s face was filled with horror as if she were being haunted by a memory. 

“For others, it can last for days, sometimes up to two weeks.” She shook herself. “It’s hard to tell though. We haven’t found a common thread yet.”

James wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just nodded thoughtfully. He finished eating the rest of his cold pasta slowly as Bellatrix began rambling on about her own transformation. She seemed to find it far more interesting than anything else, and after a while, James just did his best not to listen. She’d been half dead when she was transformed, it hardly seemed to count that she could barely remember it.

He wondered what it might be like for him if he was ever changed into a vampire. He hadn’t given it much thought yet. He didn’t want to be presumptuous, but at the same time, he felt a distinctive rightness when he thought of himself that way. 

They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Bellatrix blew out a breath of air between her teeth, hissing slightly, and wandered off like she’d been dismissed. James only had to wait a moment before Lily came waltzing into the kitchen, every movement like a dance. She didn’t smile when she caught sight of James, but she did seem to relax slightly. 

“You’re eating,” she said. 

“Yes,” he nodded. 

“Good.” Then, without another word, she handed him her phone. He took it curiously, noticing that she was actively on the phone with someone. When he saw the name ‘Regulus’ in bold black letters, he felt his heart rate speed up. He put the phone to his ear. 

“Hello?” 

“James?” Regulus said, just his voice made James shiver. 

“Regulus,” he breathed. 

“You’re okay. I was worried.” 

“Were you?” James replied, dazed just by Regulus speaking to him. 

“Yes,” Regulus said sharply. “I’ve been calling you for an hour.”

“I’m sorry,” James said, cringing slightly. He’d left his phone upstairs; he’d been too focused on food to remember it. 

Regulus blew out a breath. “It’s okay. I miss you.” His words were clipped with worry. 

“I miss you too,” James said, aching with how true the words were. He wanted to feel Regulus against him again, he needed him.

Regulus sighed. The noise was heavy, it landed on James’s mind like a thick blanket, overheating him in a second. “We lost him.”

“Who?”

“Dolohov.”

James felt a spike of pain go through him. “What?” he whispered. 

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said, sounding genuinely regretful. “He was tracking us, but he must have caught on. He went back to Godric’s Hollow, but we’re not sure when. He’s gone now.”

“My father—”

“He’s okay. He—” Regulus made an odd noise. “He misses you, but he’s okay.”

“Oh,” James replied, tears pricking at his eyes. “I miss him too.”

“I know,” Regulus said sadly. “We’re going to keep looking. I promise I won’t let him hurt you or your father.”

“I believe you,” James said. “But be careful. I—I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“I know you don’t,” Regulus said. James could hear someone talking, someone who wasn’t Regulus, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. “I have to go. I’ll call again soon, okay?” 

“Okay,” James said. 

“I—” James waited for him to finish the sentence, but Regulus never did complete it. He hung up with the words still hanging between them. James wondered what he was going to say, he wondered if he was going to tell James that he loved him. James would have said it back, he realized with a shock. 

He would have said it back. 

Chapter Text

James waited for Regulus to call back. He explored the empty, modern house and waited for Regulus to call. He talked to Andromeda, Ted, and Bellatrix and waited for Regulus to call. He asked Lily for updates and waited for Regulus to call. He avoided Pandora’s curious, piercing gaze and waited for Regulus to call. He skirted around Narcissa and waited for Regulus to call. He slept for long hours, stress making him exhausted, and waited for Regulus to call. 

Mostly, he wasted time. 

He called Frank to let him know that he wouldn’t be coming to work for a while. 

“Is everything okay?” Frank asked. James couldn’t tell if he sounded suspicious or not, it was hard to read Frank sometimes, especially when James didn’t feel like he had his head on straight. 

“Yeah, I’m just dealing with something. I can’t really explain it.” 

“Oh okay,” Frank mumbled. “If you say so.”

“I’m sorry to leave you like this. I understand if you don’t want me to come back to the shop.” 

“I’m not going to fire you because you have a personal emergency. Also, I don't feel like interviewing anyone new. Just call me when you’re back in town. It’s fine.”

James breathed a sigh of relief, although he still felt a bit guilty. He didn’t know when he would be back, if he would be back. It was probably wrong to not just quit the job altogether, but it made him feel comforted thinking about returning to his life. It had seemed so boring when he first moved to Godric’s Hollow like he was trapping himself there, but now he longed for the simplicity it offered.

Once he hung up the phone, he wanted to call back and ask Frank to check in on his father, but that seemed a bit over the line. He and Frank were friends, but he didn’t need Frank stumbling upon something he shouldn’t. 

He thought about his father often and wondered about his mental state and if he was struggling with having to live alone again. The words he’d spoken to make his father let him go still tore him up inside. Every time he remembered them, they twisted his stomach and made him feel like he was about to lose his lunch. It was troubling, and he worried he wouldn’t be able to make things right. 

Every time he remembered his father’s memory issues, his worry got worse. He knew that Regulus and the others wouldn’t let his father get hurt, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt himself. Was he eating? Showering? Sleeping? James had no way of knowing and it wasn’t fair to hound someone else with phone calls about it. 

It was his fault that his father was in danger. It was his fault that his father was alone and likely hurting. 

He tried to fight off the feelings of anguish, but his father’s hurt face haunted him. 

The modern home that the Alaskan vampires lived in added an element of surrealness that made him uncomfortable. It was like trying to live in a model home; it made his dreams feel empty, like the hollow space in the hallways deep inside an abandoned mall. Every dream was just endless stretches of empty walls. 

Within a few hours on his first full day, he’d searched the entire home. Most of the rooms were either offices with books lining the walls or completely empty, just windows for decoration. There weren’t any beds beyond the one he was sleeping in and there were no distinguishing qualities among the other rooms. James couldn’t tell if any of them belonged to a specific person or not. 

The only room that held anything of interest was the garage he found in the basement. The garage door opened to the back of the house, likely a purposefully hidden design so if someone stumbled upon their long driveway, they wouldn’t be drawn to the massive garage door that held multiple expensive vehicles behind it. The garage itself was filled with several classic cars and two motorcycles, all of them shiny and pricey. James was impressed although he should have guessed given Regulus’s families propensity for nice vehicles. 

He couldn’t tell if the vampires lived there full-time. He knew that they could hide from him easily. If they didn’t want him to know they were there, then he wouldn’t know. But sometimes, it seemed like they would leave for hours and hours. He wondered if there was another home that they lived in or if they each had their own places scattered throughout the mountains. It wouldn’t surprise him either way. 

It felt so quiet though and he found himself wondering about the long hours vampires spent meandering. 

Lily and Pandora provided some comfort, at least they provided a familiar face when he needed one, but they seemed to leave for long hours at a time, and he had no idea if they were actually going somewhere or if they were just hiding from him, spending time alone. It made him feel lonely every time he noticed them leave. The tender way their fingers would tangle together before they would run off or head out to Lily’s car made him ache for Regulus. He would always avert his eyes. 

He tried not to interrupt them too much. They seemed lost in their own world when they were together. When he did see Lily alone, she spoke to him in clipped, worried sentences. 

“Pandora can’t see everything that’s happening, it’s not an exact science, and everyone’s paths are shifting so quickly that it’s blurring her vision,” Lily said to him one night. Snow had begun to fall outside and the two of them were sitting in the kitchen, watching it dance beyond the windows. 

“How does that work exactly?” 

Lily shrugged. “It’s hard to explain. There are some things that she sees as clearly as a memory. She calls them permanent events. They are future events that never change, no matter the pathway that people choose. They’re not common, though. Most of them show up as intrusive thoughts unless she’s looking for them like flashes of the future—lightening in a storm, she calls it. If she’s looking for them, she has to follow a specific person like a thread. So, in situations like this, where everyone is making decisions, it makes it hard for her to follow it.” 

“That’s odd,” James said, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully. “What kinds of things is she seeing?” 

Lily cringed slightly. James pretended he didn’t notice it. “Please trust me when I say it’s easier not to know. Sometimes knowing too much can make someone crazy.” 

James didn’t push her, but his thoughts ran wild with that. That’s when his dreams switched from hollow space to nightmares. He was in the middle of having a dream about being torn to shreds by a pack of wolves when his phone rang. He woke up so sweaty that his shirt was sticking to his chest. 

“Hello?” he gasped into the phone, not even bothering to check who the call was from. 

“James?” a voice squeaked. He had to shake his head to clear off the lingering effects of his dream before he could place the voice. 

“Peter?” he asked. 

“James,” Peter breathed, he almost sounded relieved yet the fear was so palpable that it made James’s heart skip a beat. “You have to help me.”

“What’s going on?” 

“I didn’t know who he was, but he took me from my house. Please, James, he’s going to kill me.” Peter yelped. “He’s going to kill me!” 

“Who?” James asked sharply. “Who is going to kill you?” 

“I don’t know his name,” Peter whispered. A man’s voice said something in the background, but James couldn’t make out what they said. Peter choked on his spit as if he were being choked. “Dolohov,” he hissed. 

James’s blood ran cold. “Dolohov?” 

“Yes,” Peter said. “James.” He started to cry, a blubbering sound that made James feel like he was about to hear Peter murdered live on the phone. “Please. I just want to go home.”

“Where are you?” James asked. “What can I do?” 

Peter was quiet for a long moment, but muffled noises were coming from the phone like Peter had put the phone in his pocket or dropped it on the ground to run. James waited with bated breath. 

“Where are you?” Peter asked. 

“I—I can’t tell you,” James said without thinking. 

Peter screamed, long and loud. The scream barely even sounded human by the end. James felt sick, his hands shaking so badly he could barely hold the phone, the sweat from his nightmare making him feel like throwing his clothes off and jumping into a cold shower. 

“James, James, please,” Peter cried. He was obviously in pain, his words were barely audible. 

“I’m in Alaska somewhere,” James said. Dolohov was hurting Peter because of James. He didn’t know why Peter was the one Dolohov had gone after, but it was too late now. He pictured Dolohov stalking his father, trying to find a way to use him against James, but not being able to get to him. He pictured him searching the town, of finding sweet, soft Peter, alone or at home with his mom. He was an easy target. 

“With—with more of them?” Peter asked, his voice shaking. 

“Them?” James asked quietly. 

“Like Dolohov?” 

James’s world spun on its axis. “Yes,” he answered. 

Peter swallowed audibly. “He wants you to get away from them. To meet him somewhere else.” 

“How—”

“He’s going to kill me if you don’t.” Peter paused but James could tell he wasn’t done, he could sense him waiting for direction. “And then he’s going to keep killing people until he gets you.” 

He hated that he felt guilty hearing Peter say that, as if Peter’s death wouldn’t be bad enough, as if both he and Dolohov knew that it wouldn’t be enough to get James out from under his protection squad. He couldn’t say whether that inclination was true or not, it didn’t matter, the threat had been made and James already knew that he couldn’t let it happen. 

“Tell me where to go,” James said. 

James had never considered how difficult it might be to escape from someone who could see the future, who could track his movements. When he climbed out of bed a few hours after Peter had called—Dolohov said he had twenty-four hours to get away—the first thing he did was search the house. Like it had been days before, the house was almost completely empty. It was like every room he entered hadn't been touched in months. Only Lily and Ted could be found 

He tried not to make any hard decisions, he tried to keep his decision-making jumping from one idea to the next. When it was time to go, when the opportunity finally arose, James would make his decision impulsively. It was the only option. 

“Hello, James,” Ted said. He was just as strikingly handsome as he was the first time James saw him, yet it always gave James pause.

“Hi,” James said a bit awkwardly. 

“Come join us,” Ted invited. 

James did for a while, but it was hard to keep his voice even. Ted and Lily seemed to have a good relationship, they talked like old friends who’d known each other for a long time, but there was also a politeness like at any moment old wounds could bubble to the surface. Under different circumstances, James would be intrigued, he would want to know what they thought of each other, but as it was, he could barely focus on the conversation. It didn’t matter to him now. 

“Pandora should be back soon,” Lily said softly, checking the delicate watch around her wrist. They’d been sitting together for about half an hour and though James never felt like he didn’t belong, he also felt a distinct wrongness in their interactions. “We’ll have to run out for a bit when she gets here.”

“That’s okay,” James said, although Lily wasn’t asking for reassurance. “Let me know when you get back.”

Lily gave him a small smile. “Of course.” 

James went back up to his room and pulled out his wallet. He didn’t have any other paper, and he didn’t want to risk searching the house for some. The receipt he found folded in his wallet would have to do. His hand shook as he started to write. 

Regulus, 

I am so sorry. He has Peter, he’s going to kill him if I don’t come. I can’t just let him die. I have to try. I know it might not work, but I have to try. I am so, so sorry. 

Don’t be angry with Lily and Pandora, or the rest of your family. It will be a miracle if I get away from them, but it’s not their fault. Tell them thank you from me. I appreciate all they’ve done to keep me safe. 

And please, please don’t come after him. That’s what he wants. I can’t bear it if anyone else gets hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me. 

He paused thoughtfully before charging on, writing the words he hadn’t yet spoken out loud. 

I love you. Forgive me. 

James  

He folded the piece of paper and set it onto his pillow, hoping Regulus would find it. He was sure he would, he had a way of finding things. He only hoped that Regulus would understand when he read it. 

Once it was out of his hands, he tucked away the guilt he felt, all the worry, all the hopes of seeing Regulus again. He sealed himself off from it all leaving it on his pillow with his love for Regulus. 

Chapter Text

An hour before James left the house, Regulus finally called him. James was so relieved to see his name pop up on his phone that he nearly dropped his cell trying to answer it. 

“Regulus?” he breathed. 

“James,” Regulus responded. His voice sent a zing up James’s spine, his stomach tightened at the sound. 

“I miss you. Are you okay?” James said quickly, forcing the words out through chattering teeth. Regulus's presence, even through the phone, made adrenaline surge through his body. 

“I’m okay. I’m coming to get you,” Regulus said simply. He sounded somber, as if he was admitting defeat. 

“You are?” James asked, momentarily forgetting that he couldn’t be here when Regulus arrived. For just a second, he felt excitement. Dread was quick to follow. 

“Yes,” Regulus said with a sigh. “We can’t find Dolohov, he’s left the area, and I can’t stay separate from you forever. I’m going to come get you and then—” He paused for a moment. “Then we’re going to go somewhere, just you and I. I’m going to keep you safe, I promise.”

James felt himself melt, he slouched down on his bed and let the hole in his chest open a little bit. “Okay,” he whispered. 

“James, I—” 

James waited for him to finish, he waited for him to speak. When he didn’t, James said, “What is it?” 

Regulus sighed sharply through his nose. “Nothing. I—I’ll tell you when I get there.”

“Okay,” James said easily. “When will that be?” He smiled as he asked it, imagining Regulus appearing at the end of his bed, grinning sharply, his white teeth all on display. 

“Tonight. I’m leaving now.”

James felt deceptively calm as he hung up. He’d been waiting for the right moment, but he needed to move soon if Regulus was going to be here in a few short hours. It was already mid-afternoon. James wondered if Regulus would be running or driving. 

James went to search the house, finding it empty and quiet, unsettlingly so. He found a note from Lily on the table, she and Pandora had run out again, off on one of their mysterious errands. Now was the time, he decided. He hadn’t settled on any one thing, he didn’t know how to work around Pandora’s power, but he tried to be as vague with his future plans as possible until the last minute. 

He hurried quickly down the stairs from the floor his bedroom was on, deciding at the last moment that he wouldn’t try to walk down the mountain. Someone would find him, they would catch up to him, that or he would freeze to death in the time it took him to figure out where he was going. 

He headed toward the garage instead, swiping a set of keys off the wall as he went. They were all hung up right next to the garage door, nice and neat, as if they knew he would be looking for them. He was steps away from one of the cars when Narcissa moved. She’d been standing on the far end of the garage, so still that James didn’t notice her at first. 

“Oh, fuck!” he yelped, startled. He dropped the keys and stared at her, frozen like a prey animal. 

“Are you stealing from us?” Narcissa asked in her odd voice. 

James swallowed. “Yes,” he said, because it was true. He was taking the car, he wasn’t planning to bring it back, that was stealing. 

Narcissa tilted her head, just slightly, so fast that it barely looked like she moved. “Do you know how to drive stick?” 

It took a moment for James to understand her question, his thoughts were buzzing through his head so quickly that he couldn’t hear them properly. “No,” he confessed. 

“Then you shouldn’t take that one. Take the Lexus instead.” She moved, gone in a blink, then appeared next to him, a set of keys dangling from her delicate finger. 

“Why are you helping me steal?” he whispered, very aware that he was wasting time, that he needed to get moving. His heart raced. 

Narcissa pursed her lips but she did not reply. James took the keys from her hand and scurried to the far end of the garage where a black Lexus was parked. It was a nice car to most people, but in a room full of luxury, it looked like any run-of-the-mill vehicle. James unlocked it with a push of a button, jumping into the driver’s seat and starting the car in one quick movement. 

Narcissa must have pressed something to open the garage because the door began to glide open without James having to do anything. He glanced back at where she’d stood a moment before, but she was no longer there. He didn’t have time to dwell on it. He drove out of the garage as quickly as he could without crashing, curving around the house to head down the long and icy road that led off the mountain. 

He expected for the jitters he felt in Narcissa’s presence to persist or even worsen now that he was alone, but the calmness from earlier seeped back into his skin and he found himself drifting easily from one thought to another, his worry melting into the background. There was nothing to do for it now, and he’d done what he could to get away. Everything else was up to chance. 

Once he made it to the bottom of the sister’s long driveway, he headed north and dialed Peter’s number. He’d been instructed to call once he was out of the house. 

“James?” Peter whispered. He sounded hopeful, James was just relieved that he was still alive. 

“I’m out,” James said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Peter whispered. James could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Where do I go now?” 

Peter coughed twice, then whispered to someone else. James couldn’t make out what he was saying. When Peter was back on the phone, he delivered instructions like he’d been reading them online. James had to tell him where he was, using a random mile marker as a point of reference. Peter must have looked up the directions. 

“He says,” Peter said right before he hung up the phone, his voice shaking, “that you have one hour to make it here.” 

“One hour?” James asked. “Is that enough time?” 

Peter audibly swallowed. “It has to be.” James’s phone beeped as the call was disconnected and without trying to call back, James knew Peter’s phone would be off. That was the last communication they would have before James arrived, it might be the last communication they had ever. 

He was lucky the driving directions were relatively easy to follow. He was driving far too quickly, but the roads were empty. The sun had set by the time he turned onto the highway Peter had mentioned, not a street lamp in sight, the road was disturbingly dark. Only his headlights reflecting off the snow provided any guidance. 

His eyes drifted to the rearview mirror often as he drove, but no cars ever appeared behind him. Where he was, no one knew how to find him. He’d gotten away, vanished, and if he was lucky, they wouldn’t have to know what happened to him. 

He hadn’t thought about that part much, he didn’t want to let any of it in, but he knew it would be bad if Regulus and the others went looking for Dolohov. He’d managed to evade all of them for days and days, and Severus seemed to think he was unstoppable. James didn’t want that kind of person going after Regulus and his family. He hoped his death would be enough. 

He pulled into the snow-covered parking lot of the abandoned gas station just a few minutes after seven. There were no lights on inside, though most of the windows were boarded up. All the pumps out front had been ripped out of the ground and the roof looked like it was about to cave in. 

It had definitely seen better days. 

The building itself was longer than James expected. Most roadside gas stations in the middle of nowhere were tiny, only big enough to fit an employee and a few rows of drinks, snacks, and candy. This one looked like a long hallway, rectangular in shape but longer than James’s home. One of the doors was boarded up, but the other looked like it had been recently repaired. 

James didn’t pause to think about what he was doing, he had less than three minutes to make it inside based on Dolohov’s hour warning, so he didn’t let himself hesitate. 

“Peter?” he called the moment he was inside. The building was pitch black, but the moment he spun in place, the lights lit up. They weren’t excessively bright, but for a moment they blinded him. Panic surged and he blinked rapidly as if it would clear his vision. He pulled his glasses off with shaking hands, they were smudged, he hadn’t noticed on the drive here. He rubbed them with the end of his sweater. 

It was too nice, too expensive, he should have worn something else. It wasn’t right to die in something so nice. 

“James,” Peter whispered. James forgot what he was doing, just for a moment, but long enough that Peter’s voice startled him. He shoved his glasses on too quickly and stabbed himself in the eye before he managed to place them on properly. 

“Peter!” He rushed forward. 

A sense of wrongness filled him. Peter had been screaming in pain, he’d been begging him to come, but now he was just… standing there. He was standing in the center of the hollowed-out gas station, his arms hanging limply against his sides. Relaxed. He looked relaxed. 

“I’m surprised you came,” Peter said. 

“Peter?” James asked, slowly to a stop a few feet away from the man. Peter’s soft, baby fat-filled features used to look so innocent to James, maybe a tad spoiled at times, but never sinister. Pity lay there now. 

“I’m disappointed,” a deep voice said. The words drifted over his shoulders and Peter’s eyes settled on the man who’d said them, but James didn't turn around yet. He was still searching Peter’s face for any clue of what was happening. “I thought you would be harder to catch.” 

The calm that James had been wearing off and on for the last day settled heavily into him, drenching his clothes and swallowing up his bones. His feelings disconnected from his thoughts like a severed wire leaving him nothing but a dead outlet. 

“Were you ever in danger?” James asked. His voice came out dead, all of him felt dead. 

Peter tilted his head to the side like he was nothing but an innocent child, but it was Dolohov who answered. 

“He was,” Dolohov said, his voice closer than it had been the last time he spoke. “I would have killed him if you didn’t show.” 

“Oh,” James breathed, his shoulders dropping a bit further. He hadn’t made an error, not really. He’d still done what he could to save a man’s life. 

“It’s better this way though, isn't it?” 

“Yes,” James agreed because it was. It was better knowing Peter would have died. 

“It was his idea though,” Dolohov practically purred as he came to stand next to James, brushing past him close enough that James could feel his presence, but not close enough to touch. 

“Was it?” James asked with bland curiosity. He thought he already knew that, Peter didn’t seem ashamed, but he seemed knowledgeable. 

“Speaking of which,” Peter mumbled, his voice still the soft cadence of a coward. “You said you would…” Peter pointed to the side of his neck and twisted his face to inelegantly allude to something. James would have wondered what it was had he been more interested in what was happening around him. 

Turning his back seemed the only right course of action. He stared at the door as Dolohov and Peter had a conversation that sounded like it was taking place underwater. He could make a run for it, he likely should try, saving a man who’d conspired to lure him away from his protection wasn’t something he needed to do, but he couldn’t get his legs to move. 

Dolohov would likely catch him anyway. 

Peter’s scream was something like out of a movie, James expected it to be fake. He’d faked so many while they were on the phone. So he turned around slowly, one eyebrow quirked. Peter was holding his neck, his face twisted in pain. He was stumbling left and right, but somehow he managed to stay standing. 

“Not… here…” Peter mumbled, his words barely intelligible. 

“Too late now,” Dolohov said with a bloody grin. Peter gave James one last pleading look, a look James didn’t understand and didn’t have the energy to interpret. Then he was stumbling away, toward the door. 

“What did you do to him?” 

“What we agreed.” 

James looked at the man, the killer, the vampire that wanted him dead and buried. He seemed so human for a moment. 

“I don’t understand,” James confessed. 

“I assume that happens to you often,” Dolohov said with a pout. He was making fun of James, mocking him. A bit rude if you asked James. He was already going to kill him, the least he could do was not taunt him. 

He was foolish to expect anything else.

“Did you come alone?” Dolohov asked. James was surprised he hadn’t asked earlier. 

“I’m alone,” James stated. He’d never been so alone in his entire life. All his life he had friends, family, loved ones, girlfriends, boyfriends. He had a life filled with others. He felt grateful for it, satisfied that despite everything he had so much good in his life. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Dolohov said, speaking thoughtfully, like a professor, like a storyteller. James wondered if he didn’t get enough attention in his usual life. “I was expecting more of a chase. You had so much protection, I thought it would be harder to get to you. I’m used to drawing things out, I once hunted a human for eleven months. Almost a year. You can understand how disheartened I felt discovering that all I had to do was dangle the life of an acquaintance in the balance to get you all to myself.”

“The other humans you’ve hunted, they let people die for them?” 

“They did,” Dolohov said with a small smile. “I’ll confess. That was usually my favorite part. The horror they showed, the cowardly choice they continued to make, putting their own short life above another’s. I enjoyed it. I figured a man who lives with a pack of vampires would be similarly ruthless. I never would have expected you to come so easily.”

For a split second, James considered making a joke. Come so easily, honestly, it was too easy, but thankfully his mouth stayed locked shut. He was in enough danger without provoking the man. 

“I knew I’d catch you eventually though, I almost always get my prize.” Dolohov’s eyes glittered, pitch black and reflecting the cheap lights hanging above. 

“Almost always?” James whispered. Fuck, he hadn’t meant to speak. Dolohov’s grin widened, satisfaction at a trap well planned and better executed. Twice he’d caught James. 

“Once, many years ago, I discovered a couple. A human woman and a vampire. He was so—” Dolohov looked away, his eyes drifting up to the ceiling, “protective. And she was so weak, a sickly little thing, always somewhere else. He kept her like a toy, but when I tried to play, he fought back. I’d never seen a prize so worth having. It was worth killing her just to see him fail.” 

“But you didn’t succeed?” James asked. His hands were shaking again, the way he described the other human-made James’s stomach turn. 

“No,” Dolohov growled, his dark eyes settling back on James’s face. “He did what your vampires refused to do. He hid her away,” he ground his teeth together, “and he changed her.” 

James gasped, a quiet thing, barely a puff of noise, but the words felt like a knife being plunged into his chest. 

“By the time, I found her, she was already writhing on the ground, half changed. There was no point then. I made quick work of him though. I would never let someone rob me of something I wanted and get away with it. He had to pay. He was dead before she ever opened her eyes.” Dolohov paused, just for a moment, his eyes moving rapidly around the room like he was seeing something James couldn’t spot. “You can imagine my surprise seeing her in the meadow.” 

James took one step backward. He could no longer feel his legs, but they seemed to react for him. 

“The meadow,” he breathed. 

Dolohov smiled viciously, a mean thing that looked hungrier than anything. “I don’t think she remembered me, that pretty little redhead kept her hidden though. Still protected, even as a vampire. Who protects you, James?” 

James’s head was spinning, he was still trying to understand what Dolohov had just told him and now he was being asked a question? How could he be expected to answer? 

“No one,” James said, the words like a life of their own, a decision made without him. 

“A shame,” Dolohov said. He sounded sad, but James understood that it wasn’t empathy for him, it wasn’t care, it was disappointment at an easy kill. That’s all James was, easy prey. He wondered how much of his life had led up to this point, it felt like so many deaths had barely grazed him, came and went before he’d understood what he’d escaped. Had he been marching here all along? 

Dolohov’s hand moved, a flash followed by stillness, but it was enough to draw James’s eyes. For a second, it appeared as if nothing had changed, but then he spotted the little black object cradled in Dolohov’s pale fingers. 

A camera. 

“It’s no fun if he doesn’t get to see it,” Dolohov said. He spoke that James couldn't hear him, as if it didn’t matter either way if he did. 

“Who?” James asked. His mouth was so dry that it felt like he’d been swallowing cotton. 

“I believe his name is Regulus,” Dolohov said. James felt a spike of anger. Dolohov didn’t deserve to speak his name. “A member of the Black family. They’ve been a thorn in my side for a long time. Torturing one of them—Well, needless to say, I need him to see it.”

He lifted the camera slowly, pointing it right at James’s drawn face. 

“We’ll have to put on a show for him. You don’t mind, do you?” Dolohov smirked. In another circumstance he would be handsome, that smirk would be charismatic, even intriguing. Now it made James's stomach flip. He abandoned all rational thought and turned to run. He knew he’d be caught, vampires were so fast that he couldn’t even see them when they ran, but he had to get away. He had to run, run, run. 

His fingers were inches from the door when he went flying backward. The inside of the gas station was lined with pieces of wood, all of them pressed together like an expensive fence. He’d wondered who put them up originally, but when he slammed into them, he figured it must have been Dolohov. They cracked against his back painfully, crumbling down on top of him as he fell to the ground in a heap. 

The pain took a moment to arrive at his brain, his adrenaline kept him conscious and kept most of the feeling in his back at bay, but he could still feel the likely broken ribs breaking apart. He’d broken a few bones in his life, he could remember it vividly. 

This was so much worse. 

Dolohov knelt in front of him as he gasped for breath. He couldn’t pull in enough air, his lungs felt like they were constricting, collapsing, caving in. 

“Beg him to avenge you,” Dolohov instructed, commanded. It sounded like pleading. 

“Regulus, don’t,” James gasped. Regulus wouldn’t listen to him, he couldn’t imagine a world where that would happen, but James had to try. He owed him that much for leaving him as he had. 

Dolohov grabbed him by the jaw, his fingers like ice. “Beg him,” he growled. 

“No,” James refused. The word came out muffled. Dolohov dropped his jaw and backhanded him across the face. His vision swam, his glasses flying off his face, but James knew he was holding back. Dolohov could have killed him with a flick of his wrist. He was making sure James stayed alive and awake. 

“I could make it worth his while,” Dolohov said. He sounded so frustrated, so easily swayed by a few denials. He lunged forward slightly and kicked James’s legs open. The movement made pain shoot up his back, but the panic he felt was more pressing. 

“No, no, no, no,” James begged. He hadn’t wanted to beg, he’d wanted to die with some dignity. Not that he considered such a thing before now. Dolohov grabbed him around the calf. 

“Then beg,” Dolohov said and with one press, snapped James’s leg. James cried so loud that his voice cut out, his vocal cords unable to stand the strain. He couldn’t see anything, his vision blurred with tears and pain, his glasses long gone, but he could make out Dolohov’s shape in front of him. “Beg him to avenge you. Convince him. Don’t you think you deserve it? He didn’t protect you, he didn’t change you. He left you to die.”

It wouldn’t have mattered if James wanted to give in, he was beyond words. He was incapable of speech. Sobs tore out of him, pain so bad that he thought he would have passed out by now. How was he still awake? Why was he still awake? Why couldn’t he have died already?

A sound like metal scrapping metal filled his ears. Warmth fell down around his ears. Blood. He was bleeding. Dolohov was making noises like an animal, a savage creature unable to refuse the call of blood. 

James put a hand up as if blocking his view would save him. He hoped it would be over soon. He prayed for it to end. Cold, dead hands pulled at the neck of his sweater, ripping it open, and a sharp penetrated his skin, harsh fangs sinking right in. 

Darkness finally, gratefully, claimed him. 

Chapter Text

Regulus, 

I am so sorry. He has Peter, he’s going to kill him if I don’t come. I can’t just let him die. I have to try. I know it might not work, but I have to try. I am so, so sorry. 

Don’t be angry with Lily and Pandora, or the rest of your family. It will be a miracle if I get away from them, but it’s not their fault. Tell them thank you from me. I appreciate all they’ve done to keep me safe. 

And please, please don’t come after him. That’s what he wants. I can’t bear it if anyone else gets hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me. 

He paused thoughtfully before charging on, writing the words he hadn’t yet spoken out loud. 

I love you. Forgive me. 

James  

If Regulus had been human still, his hands would have been shaking. They would have quivered so hard that he wouldn’t have been able to hold up the note at all, the tiny, poorly scrawled words would have blended together in his vibrating hand. As it was, his inhuman form held James’s note with unnatural stillness. It was fitting really, the inhuman anger and dread that braided into his unmoving veins and laced together with his frozen nervous system, all elements of him unreal and unresponsive. Yet the pain. The pain was real. 

“None of us noticed him leave,” Ted said regretfully. He was easily distractible, especially for a vampire. Regulus would have pulled his head from his shoulders if it wouldn’t have resulted in his own death. Andromeda would never allow him to do such a thing. 

“I saw him leave,” Narcissa added. Her voice always made Regulus nervous, it spoke to anguish and suffering like he couldn’t imagine, something so horrific that to even recount it would be torture. 

“You what?” Regulus asked, his voice like a ghost’s, leaving his throat like the violent spray of a stormy ocean. 

“He was not my prisoner,” Narcissa said darkly. He understood, in the place of his mind where thoughts ran on a continuous, rapid track, that Narcissa could never hold someone prisoner, even for their own good, even if that wasn’t the truth of the matter. That part of his brain even understood her point of view. 

But the part of his brain that was more animal than man, that held the vampire venom soaring through his body, did not understand or empathize. He had her by the neck before she could speak another word, yet she seemed unfazed. She stared down at him with disdain, elegant and poised even when threatened with violence and death. 

“When?” he asked because berating her would waste too much of his time, killing her would waste even more of it. He couldn’t afford to lose any more time. 

“An hour ago,” she said in her scratchy, unnatural voice. 

An hour. Regulus nearly collapsed into himself, he nearly dematerialized entirely. James had been gone for an hour and no one had noticed, no one had cared to keep up with him. Where were Lily and Pandora? Their car was missing from the driveway and their scene seemed distant and fading. Had they left him when he needed them most?

“We’re going after him,” Regulus snapped, his voice like the war general he was born to. “If any of you don’t follow me, I will—”

“You don’t need to threaten them,” Sirius said soothingly, his strong hand coming to rest against the back of Regulus's neck. 

“We’ll help,” Ted said. “Right?” He looked around at his coven expectantly. It only took a moment for them all to nod. Even Narcissa agreed, despite her earlier betrayal. Bellatrix just looked happy to have something to do. Only Ted, Andromeda, and Narcissa seemed focused on the task at hand. 

They took off running. With the ice and snow on the roads, cars would be too slow. James, Narcissa told him, had taken one of their cars so that meant he was only as fast as that vehicle. Regulus hoped that meant that time was on his side. Evan and Sirius flanked him, both of them sprinting at the same speed. He could outrun them both, he’d always been the fastest in the family. He wished Barty had come along, Barty would have been the most useful, but he’d stayed to watch over Fleamont Potter. 

Lightly, he was able to pick up the trail of Lily and Pandora, but they did not appear. It was like they had vanished. He thought of pulling out his phone, of dialing Lily’s number, but the only words he could think to say were ‘You’re dead to me’ and he doubted Sirius would like it very much if he said that. 

Wherever they were, and whyever they’d chosen to do what they did, Regulus owed it to them to hear their reasons, to listen with, at least, a partially open mind. 

Unless James was dead. 

If James was dead then he could not be held accountable for his actions. He would lash out at all of them, at anyone he could find. The madness from his family's blood was already taking root as he thought about it. He wouldn't survive James’s death, he realized abruptly. He would kill someone, a member of his family, and they would turn on him and take him out before he could kill anyone else. Or, if that turned out not to be an option, he would go to the people his family had been warring with for centuries. 

They might kill him on sight if he was lucky. If not, he would have to provoke them, but at least it would end in death. 

“This way,” Evan shouted. He was dragging behind, but his tracking senses were stronger than the entire family's. He accounted that to his lack of blood intake, but Sirius had been equally careful so it didn’t make sense. Secretly, Regulus thought it was because Evan was made to spend so much time cooking when he was human. He hated it, it always made him feel like a trapped housewife, he said, but it had given him a sharper sense of smell that he'd carried on to his second life. 

Regulus looked back. He was just close enough to see Evan pointing north. Regulus didn't stop running, he could see a turn-off coming up soon, and he followed the road the moment he happened upon it. It only took another mile before he started to smell him, the sweet, intoxicating scent of James’s blood, the scent that drove him to a frenzy and brought him back from the brink. 

James. 

He felt as though he was a wild animal, all instincts and no thoughts, yet the stable effect of James made him known and real. It made him feel almost human. James was warmth and life and love. 

Regulus wondered if James knew that’s what he was to Regulus. He worried that James might not know, that James would still be in the dark, if that was why he'd left even though he knew Regulus was coming for him. He said that Dolohov had Peter, but how much could Regulus mean to him if he could be given up for some human boy that James barely knew?

He had to admit, he wasn’t used to feeling insecure, and the feeling of it was very unpleasant. How was he supposed to carry on like that when rejection burned inside him? 

James’s sweet blood grew stronger, calling to Regulus like a siren. He inhaled deeply, wishing to pull out every single note of his blood in the air. There were still no noises, no hints, but James’s blood reminded him that he was on the right track. 

The building and the car James had stolen came into view after a while. Regulus had long outrun his family. He felt utterly alone. Isolate to a place of darkness he hadn't felt in years. 

He doubled his speed, pushing himself harder than he ever had, sliding to a stop gracefully right behind the stolen Lexus. It was cold, with no heat coming off of it, but he hoped that didn’t mean James had been here for long. It was frigid outside, which might have cooled off the car. The building next to it seemed silent before Regulus heard a voice inside. 

“Then beg,” Dolohov snarled. “Beg him to avenge you. Convince him. Don’t you think you deserve it? He didn’t protect you, he didn’t change you. He left you to die.” 

Regulus tore open the door with a strength even he was surprised by. The metal door tore off its hinges, flying behind him and clattering against the snow-dusted road loudly. Dolohov didn’t turn when he entered, Regulus could see that he was already lost to the siren call of James’s blood, his mouth clamped horrifically onto James’s exposed shoulder. 

Black clouded his vision as Regulus surged forward, ripping Dolohov from James with enough violence to make cracks in Dolohov’s skin. He slammed him into the opposite wall, one hand to his neck and the other digging nails first into his chest. He planned to dig out his frozen heart to crush it in his hand, but Dolohov was stronger than him. Regulus had taken him by surprise, but Dolohov recovered quickly, lifting up his leg, placing his foot against Regulus’s stomach, and kicking him away. 

Regulus jumped back to his feet, rushing forward again, but Dolohov hit him roughly in the chest and shoved him to the floor again, kneeling over him and jabbing his pointer fingers into Regulus’s eyes. The pressure was almost painful and Regulus reacted immediately, hurtling Dolohov off of him with a well-timed spin. 

They flew apart but their bodies reconnected with enough force to cause a loud booming sound, too immovable objects colliding like stars destroying each other. 

Regulus was going to lose. 

The realization hit him just as Dolohov’s nails scratched down his face. Regulus might be fast and he was a skilled fighter, but Dolohov had been honing this skill for centuries, he barely took breaks from the hunt, the kill. Regulus had gone soft in his life as a fake human. His sharpened skills dulled to a blunt edge. 

He was lucky though. He hadn’t come alone, even though he felt that isolation only moments before entering the building. Dolohov swung at him viciously, but his arm was stopped mid-movement by Ted’s rough grasp. Ted was stronger than most of them, only beaten by Barty and his absurd brawn, and Dolohov couldn’t fight it. 

Regulus clawed at him, going in for the kill, but was stopped by Sirius. He dragged Regulus away even as Regulus fought him. 

“We have to help James,” Sirius said urgently. The animal inside him receded, the need to claw and tear and kill seeped from his pores. He turned to look at James. He crumbled to the ground after Regulus had pulled Dolohov off of him. His leg was bent at an odd angle and blood was leaking from the open wound on his shoulder, it had already drenched his messy curls. His face… it was so pale. If Regulus wasn’t able to hear his heartbeat from across the room, he would think he was already dead. 

He was next to him in the blink of an eye, knelt next to the love of his life, but he didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless, without direction. James looked so broken. 

“His head is bleeding,” Sirius said quickly. “He likely has a concussion. His leg is broken and probably—” he pressed on his side, listening for the soft noise of pain that left James’s mouth, “cracked ribs, if not broken as well. Help me sit him up, we need to slow the bleeding.” 

As they worked together to gently lift James from where he was lying on his side, James’s eyes slid open, just enough to squint at Regulus. His glasses were missing, Regulus realized, but he didn’t want to look away to search for them. Not when James was looking at him like that, dazed and soft. 

“I’m so sorry,” Regulus choked out, a sob building in his throat. He hadn’t realized until that moment how angry he’d been that James had left him, had written a short note, and abandoned him, but as the anger faded, he could finally see the grief behind him. “This is all my fault.”

James blinked slowly like he was trying to communicate trust. “Angel,” James whispered. 

“James,” Regulus breathed. His voice cracked as he said it, his vision narrowing to only James’s hazel eyes. 

“Are you—” James sucked in a pained, rattling breath. “Are you an angel?” 

“Jamie,” Regulus whispered, he reached out to touch James’s cheek and noticed his fingers were shaking. He didn’t think it was possible. 

“It burns,” James whispered. Sirius paused his movements, he was wrapping gauze around James’s head. When James didn’t speak again for a moment, Sirius started moving again. But James’s eyebrows were starting to furrow, his dazed eyes growing more focused by the second. “It burns, angel. Make it stop.” 

“We’re going to get you help,” Regulus whispered. “How close is the nearest hospital?” 

“We can run there in less than half an hour, but it’s still pretty far.”

“His leg…” Regulus couldn’t bear to look at it. It must have hurt so bad to break it, to know that it was going to be broken, to watch helplessly as someone did it to him. 

“We’ll carry him,” Sirius said. That wasn’t what Regulus meant though. He knew James wouldn’t be running there. 

“It will hurt him to be moved,” Regulus responded. 

Sirius clenched his teeth. “It will,” he agreed. The wounds from Dolohov’s nails on Regulus’s face had closed up and healed already, yet with those words it felt like they had reopened, splitting harshly and bleeding profusely. James was already in so much pain, he’d already been through something horrible, and it was only going to get worse before he could be healed. 

James cried out, his voice panicked. “It burns!” he screamed. 

“Burns?” Regulus asked. He finally looked down at his mangled leg, but he couldn’t see a place where it was cut open, where it might be burning. Perhaps the adrenaline had finally faded and his pain was too overwhelming. 

“Regulus,” Sirius said grimly. Time seemed to move in slow motion as Regulus looked up. “His shoulder.”

Of course, he thought. How could he have forgotten? Dolohov had his mouth attached to James’s skin when Regulus had found them. He’d been drinking from him. From his James. 

The bite wound on his shoulder was split open yet the bleeding had mostly stopped, congealed slightly under the venom. The venom. James was shouting now, scratching at him to get relief, but for a second, all Regulus could do was stare at the open wound Dolohov had left on his love. 

“What do I do?”

“He’ll change,” Sirius said, sitting back slightly. “I can keep him alive until then.”

“No,” Regulus said sternly. 

Sirius froze for a moment, surprise evident on his face. “What?”

“I don’t want him to change.”

“Reg…”

“No, I can’t. I can’t do that to him.” 

He kept hearing Narcissa’s voice earlier that day. He was not my prisoner. The violence Regulus had brought into James’s life was immeasurable. He wasn’t meant to live such a brutal life, he was meant to be treated with a soft, gentleness. He was meant to be left alone. 

“I’ve done this to him,” Regulus whispered. “I won’t trap him in this with me.”

“Regulus,” Sirius warned. There were multitudes in that one utterance, but Regulus couldn’t hear Sirius’s arguments. He’d already made up his mind. He wouldn’t keep James prisoner with him, he wouldn’t let him turn, especially not with Dolohov’s venom running through his system. 

“What do I do?” Regulus asked stiffly. “How do I stop this?” 

Sirius started to shake his head, but Regulus shot a vicious and determined glare his way. “Sirius. Tell me.”

“I don’t—You’d have to get the venom back out.”

“I’d have to—”

“You have to suck the venom out,” he said pointing toward the wound, clearly expecting Regulus to give in. Sirius knew better than most of them how dangerous James’s blood was to him, how it called to him, and now his only option involved tasting that ambrosia on his tongue. 

“You’ll stop me if I go too far?” Regulus asked. 

Sirius shook his head, but he responded, “I’ll try.”

Regulus swallowed, briefly looking over his shoulder at where Evan, Ted, Narcissa, Andromeda, and Bellatrix had begun to tear at the floors and the wall, tending to a building fire. Dolohov lay in pieces next to them, a pile of pale flesh that was once a man. He turned back to James and didn’t allow himself time to overthink it anymore. He leaned forward, cupping James’s damaged head gently, and placed his mouth against the bite mark. 

He tasted the venom first like an evolutionary deterrent. ‘This victim belongs to another,’ the venom sang. Regulus sucked harder, pushing through the urge to pull away with only willpower in his toolbox. Even if James had been dead and gone by the time Regulus arrived, he could never have belonged to Dolohov. Dolohov held no claim over him, he never had. 

The first drop of blood, still mixed with the venom, was like an explosion behind Regulus’s eyes. It was almost painful how good it was, like the overstimulation given by a lover, the promise of more pleasure if only he were to fight through the pleasurable pain of the present. It coated his mouth, his tongue and teeth decorated with the red substance, and he knew—he knew—he wouldn’t be able to stop. 

He pulled harder, gripping James a little rougher, hearing the small gasp from James’s enticing mouth. He was a lamb to the slaughter, a gentle deer dying in his arms, a helpless man sold to a demon he believed to be an angel. 

“Regulus.”

Regulus wished he could die. No life was worth living when he could no longer taste this blood in his mouth, no good days existed beyond this moment. 

“Regulus, stop. His blood is clean, you're killing him.”

Regulus couldn’t listen, he couldn't stop himself. He felt his body grow strong and warm on the blood. Every cell of his being made new by the human blood that now ran through his veins. 

James lifted his fingers, gently touching the back of Regulus’s hand where he held James’s head. His touch was light and too cold for a living breathing human. It was soft though. He wasn’t fighting, he wasn’t clawing at him like a typical person would. 

“Angel,” he whispered, spoken like a lover’s note. Regulus pulled his mouth away, shoving away from James so quickly that James started to fall back toward the floor. Only Sirius’s quick movements were able to catch him. He was pale, so much paler than he had been when Regulus first found him. 

“I killed him,” Regulus cried. Why had he done this to himself? 

“He’ll survive if we can get him to the hospital,” Sirius said, though his voice didn't sound sure. “Do you want me to carry him?” 

Regulus almost nodded. He shouldn’t be allowed to touch James after what he'd done to him, but then he imagined James in pain and scared, flying through the Alaskan tundra in Sirius’s arms, and possessiveness took hold. 

“I’ll do it,” he said. James was barely conscious when Regulus gathered him in his arms and he didn’t even wince when Regulus had to cradle his damaged leg. 

He almost smiled when his eyes landed back on Regulus’s face. “Angel,” he called, slipping into a dark sleep. 

Chapter Text

“All right, take five,” Coach shouted.

James ran off the field with a gasping breath, a stitch had been forming in his side for nearly fifteen minutes by the time Coach called for a break. It was the dead center of summer, football practice having started a week before as they prepared for the new season starting in September. He’d made varsity a year earlier than expected. He would only be a sophomore but his high school was lacking players and he’d just barely made the cut.

He was younger than the rest of the team, but still in shape from playing hockey the year before. He wasn’t very good at hockey, but half his friends played hockey so he’d been talked into joining the team. Most of the rest of the varsity football team—the juniors and seniors—had been lazing around for the past few months and Coach wasn’t happy with their lack of stamina.

Hence, the running and the burning stitch in his side. They’d been running suicides all week. Today was the first day without someone throwing up, though James guessed that was only a matter of time.

“You’re pretty fast,” someone said, pulling James from the love affair he was having with the Gatorade in his hand.

“Huh?” James asked.

The guy who was speaking to him—his name was Matteo Moretti—grinned. His teeth were perfectly straight and a bit too sharp, his dark eyebrows thick and his jaw cut like he’d been carved out of stone. Matteo was a senior, and James was pretty sure every girl in school had a crush on him. He’d never spoken to James before and James, to his great embarrassment, was unable to reply. He blinked stupidly until Matteo laughed.

“You good, Potter?” Matteo asked.

James laughed. “You know my name?” he asked without meaning to. He was sure if his cheeks weren’t already bright red from exertion and the sunburn he was starting to get, he would have blushed harder than ever. What was wrong with him?

Matteo smirked, his curly black hair moving in the wind—a small relief in the swelteringly hot day. “You’re on my team, of course I know your name,” Matteo said, elbowing James good-naturedly. “What position do you play again?”

James choked slightly, his arm buzzing from where Matteo had elbowed him. “Wide receiver,” James said. “Hopefully.”

Matteo grinned again, his smile was very distracting. “Yeah, I bet,” he said, and then so fast that James thought he imagined it, Matteo looked down the length of his body before glancing back up at James’s eyes.

“Breaks over. Potter! Moretti! Get back out here!” Coach yelled. Matteo clapped him on the back before jogging back out onto the field. James watched him for a full second before downing the rest of his drink and following him.

By the time practice was over, three players had thrown up. James was not among them, he was accustomed to running in the heat, but he hated the noise. He was desperate for a shower by the time they left the field, the sun still high in the sky. It was an early day—relatively at least—but the days were long during the summer and it would be hours before the sun set.

He’d been paired up with several different students to run drills, but more than once he caught Matteo watching him, and he couldn’t stop himself from watching him back. He was a strong player, his long limbs making him a force to be reckoned with. He wasn’t sure if he’d been caught watching or not. Matteo was always quick to look away.

“Hey, Potter! James!” someone called his name as he was headed toward the building with the locker room. It wasn’t attached to the school, but it was still close enough to be inconvenient for the field. James turned to see Matteo and two of the other seniors standing near the bleachers. Matteo waved him over.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“What are you doing tonight?” Matteo asked.

James raised his eyebrows. “I don’t know,” James said. “Sleeping, I guess.”

The two guys with Matteo snickered and Matteo gave them a disapproving look, though he appeared to be holding back a laugh as well. James didn’t know what he’d said to cause that reaction.

“We’re throwing a party at Morgan’s place,” Matteo said. “You should come.”

“Oh,” James said, surprised. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

One of the other guys laughed slightly. “Let’s go,” he said to his friend. “We’ll see you two later.” James watched them walk away before turning back to Matteo. He was watching James with a measured look, though the ever present smile on his lips still hadn’t faded. He was team captain, though James had forgotten that earlier, and he seemed to have a magnetic quality about him.

“I’m surprised you joined the team,” Matteo said. “Don’t you usually play soccer?”

“Oh, well, yeah,” James said, scratching at the back of his sweaty head. “I was a bit sick of it though.”

Matteo pursed his lips. “Interesting,” he said.

“Is it?” James muttered, almost to himself. Matteo’s lips stretched into a further smile. James couldn’t stop his eyes from dropping to them. That had never happened to him before. Matteo took a step forward and James forced himself to look away from those lips, those too-sharp teeth. Matteo’s eyes were hazel, bright, and knowing, intelligent and guarded all at once. 

Matteo was a tiny bit taller than him, though James’s mother had told him that he wasn’t done growing yet. Regardless, that height difference wasn’t helping him in his goal to not stare at another boy’s lips. His eyes dropped again and Matteo’s smile finally faded. Only slightly and it didn’t seem he was upset, but it was enough of a change for James to gasp.

He looked up again. Matteo looked torn, almost nervous, but he dug his sharp teeth into his bottom lip for one full second and then with a steady, strong hand reached up and grabbed James by the back of the head. James wasn’t aware of what was happening until Matteo’s lips were on his.

He’d only ever kissed girls, and truly, not very many. He’d never realized… He didn’t know this was even a possibility, it hadn’t occurred to him that he’d want to kiss a boy. But then he was kissing back, only slightly. Sloppily, really, and with the inexperience only a fifteen year old could have.

Matteo pulled away a second later, and he seemed a bit surprised himself, as if he hadn’t realized that he was going to kiss James.

James gaped at him, unable to think of a single thing to say.

“Right, see you tonight. I’ll text you the address,” Matteo said. He squeezed James’s shoulder, his hand was so strong, then he was gone, heading to the locker room. James stood so still that he felt like he wasn’t real before he was able to shake himself.

The walk back to the locker room was done in a daze and the locker room was almost completely empty by the time he made it there. He showered quickly and grabbed his stuff before heading out to the parking lot where his mom was waiting to pick him up in the family minivan.

“Want to pick up Whataburger on the way home?” she asked him conspiratorially once he closed his door.

“Isn’t Dad cooking dinner tonight?” he asked her with a raised eyebrow. She raised an eyebrow back, mimicking him. He could only hold a straight face for a couple seconds before laughing.  “Yeah, I’m starved,” he agreed.

“Yes!” she cheered. They had a bad habit of eating fast food after practice, but James wasn’t about to complain. Dad wasn’t a great cook and anytime he offered, they usually ended up scrounging for food later in the night. “Good practice?” She pulled out of the nearly empty parking lot slowly, checking the street before driving off.

“It was okay,” James muttered.

“Oh, no, what happened?” she asked knowingly.

“Nothing bad,” he said quickly. “At least, I don’t think so.”

She hummed slightly and turned the radio up, an old song from the ‘70s playing out of the van’s shitty speakers. She always knew when to give James time to process before he was ready to talk. She told him that she was the same way, that she liked to parse things out in her head before she told anyone, that she liked to know her own feelings before letting anyone else run their hands through them.

“You and I are cut from the same cloth,” she would always tell James.

They made it to Whataburger in record time. It was a lull between lunch and dinner and there weren’t many people on the road. They went in to eat because his mom liked their restaurant designs, and she waited until they were halfway through their meal before finally asking him what happened.

James sighed, placing his half-eaten burger down on the platter in front of him and taking a long sip of soda before answering. “I think I might—” he swallowed harshly, his mouth suddenly dry, and forced himself to look away from his mother’s patient face. She wasn’t one to judge him, she wouldn’t judge him, but they’d also never talked about this kind of thing and what if he didn’t know her well enough?

“You can tell me anything, James,” she said, speaking his name like a secret key to a doorway only she knew the location of.

“I think I might like boys too,” he said quickly, the words pushing together so they sounded like mush.

His mom looked momentarily confused. “Yeah?” she said.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. He didn’t want to tell her about the kiss. Not yet, anyway.

“Is that all?” she asked after a beat.

“Well, yeah,” he said. “Wait, what?”

“James,” she laughed. “I already knew that.”

“What? No, you didn’t. I didn’t even know that.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “You told me you had a crush on that ghost boy.”

“Ghost boy? Casper?!”

“No, no, the one who’s half ghost or something. You remember, that show you used to watch,” she said.

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” James said, shaking his head.

“The one with the scientist.”

“I’m so lost.”

“You know what I’m talking about,” she said, waving her hands like it would help him remember.

“I really don’t,” he replied.

“Yes, you do. Remember? With the black hair.”

“That is not a helpful descriptor.”

“It was a TV show,” she said.

“Yes, you said that. That’s not helping me remember.”

“He could turn his hair white,” she said, snapping her fingers.

“Danny Phantom?” he asked loudly.

“Yes! Daniel!”

“I don’t think he goes by Daniel.”

“I’m sure his parents named him Daniel. Danny is not a suitable name for a baby.”

“He’s not real, Mom, he can have any name he wants,” James said, then finally remembered how they’d gotten on this topic. “I didn’t have a crush on him.”

“Yes, you did. You said you wanted to take him to prom when you were old enough,” she said.

The memory came back to him like a punch in the face. He groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “Oh, no, I forgot about that.” Danny Phantom. Good lord, he really had a type, didn't he?

“See? I told you, you already told me. I don’t care if you’re gay, sweetheart.”

“I’m not gay,” he said, his voice muffled from his hands.

“What’s that?”

“I’m not gay,” he repeated, lifting his head. “I like girls too. I don’t think gay is the right word.”

“Okay, well, whatever you are is fine by me,” she said. “Now finish eating, if your father finds out about this, he’ll have a cow.”

James opened his eyes to feel tears on his cheeks. His body felt numb like he was just a head sitting on a block of ice. He couldn’t see anything around him because he wasn’t wearing his glasses, but he could make out the general shape of someone with stark, white walls behind him, the sounds of faint beeping happening in the background.

He opened his mouth to say something but found that it was too dry for him to speak. He coughed then cringed as that sent a zing of pain up his throat. He still couldn’t feel anything else, but that made him a bit scared to move.

The shape in front of him began to shift and a second later, his glasses were slid onto his face. There was a crack down the center of one of them, but at least he was able to see most of the room around it.

“Remus?” he said when he saw the face in front of him.

“Do you usually cry in your sleep?” Remus asked.

James frowned. Or he tried to. It felt like he’d just gone to the dentist, like every muscle in his body had been forced into a state of numbness.

“I don—” He couldn’t quite finish his sentence. His throat hurt so bad.

“Here,” Remus said. He placed a styrofoam cup against his lips and room temperature water began sliding down his throat. It soothed the soreness just enough so he could speak.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” Remus said. “I guess you fell down a flight of stairs.”

“Stairs?” James mumbled. A muscle in Remus’s cheek twitched, the only indication that he might not believe the words he was saying. Otherwise, he looked like the perfect picture of understanding. “Were you there?” James asked stupidly. He was just trying to put everything back together.

“No,” Remus said. “Your dad got a call yesterday and I offered to drive him up here so he wouldn’t have to go alone.”

“You were with my dad?”

“We went over for dinner,” Remus clarified. “I guess you forgot since you were planning to leave.”

“Right,” James said. His eyes slid closed, they ached like he’d kept them open for too long. The memories of the last few weeks swam through his head like fish coasting down a stream, tiny flashes of all the grief and fear he’d felt, the long moments alone as he waited for Regulus to return, Peter’s phone call, and pain. Just pain. He opened his eyes, taking in the rest of the room, and felt something unhinge in his brain when he spotted Regulus.

He hadn’t noticed him before because he was too focused on Remus, but Regulus was stretched out on a couch up against the wall, his arms folded over his chest like he was trying to stay warm. His face looked perfectly blank and still, but he didn’t appear to be breathing.

“Yeah, he’s been like that for a few hours,” Remus said, following James’s eyeline. “Do you remember anything?”

“Not really,” James lied. He wished it was true, he wished he didn’t remember a damn thing.

“Right, that makes sense,” Remus said. “They said you had a pretty bad concussion. You might have some memory loss.” Remus made a small aborted noise the moment he finished the sentence like he was choking off his words.

“What?” James asked. Remus’s face looked odd, almost thoughtful but also troubled and too curious.

“Why’d you leave?”

James didn't like the way he’d asked the question, as if James was hurting Remus by going, as if Remus was aching knowing that James had left without saying a single word.

“I was just feeling… I was having a bad night,” James settled on. “I should have called.”

Remus’s eyebrow twitched. “You don’t owe me anything, James.”

“That’s not true,” James said immediately. “You’re my friend. I should have told you. Especially since you know my dad and I must have—” He couldn’t finish his sentence because suddenly it felt like something was gripping tight around his throat. “Is anyone else here?”

“Our dads are back at the hotel. Your dad hadn’t,” he looked away and made a face like he wasn’t sure if he should say the next part. “He really needed a shower and a bit of sleep so my dad took him to the hotel room. He’ll be back later, I’m sure, but I could call him if you want.”

“No, that’s okay,” James said. “Let him rest. I shouldn’t have left the way I did.”

Remus lifted a hand and placed it gently on James’s forearm. “He’s okay,” Remus said quietly.

“Yeah?”

Remus took a deep breath. “If you don’t want to stay, I could look out for him. I know you didn’t want to leave him alone, but my father and I could help.”

“No, no,” James said quickly. “He needs me. I was just dealing with something. I shouldn’t have left the way I did.”

“You already said that,” Remus said. He squeezed James’s arm comfortingly. James tried to feel grateful, he did appreciate that Remus was here, he was happy to wake up to him, but his worries felt insurmountable.

“Has Regulus been here the entire time?” James whispered as if that would keep Regulus from listening.

“Yeah, as far as I know,” Remus replied. “The other one, the red head, was here as well. She was talking to your dad.”

“Lily,” James said.

“Sure,” Remus replied like he didn’t care to know.

“That’s all?”

Something crossed Remus’s face, something almost imperceptible, a tiny flash of something like disgust or anger. “Pretty much,” he said. James’s eyebrows furrowed. “You need more water. I’m going to get you some.”

“Oh, okay,” James said as Remus hurried from the room. “What was that about?” he mumbled to himself.

“You’re better off not knowing,” Regulus said suddenly. He’d moved in a flash the moment the door was closed and was now sitting in Remus’s seat next to James’s bed. James gasped when he looked at him. There had been a moment there where he thought he’d never see Regulus again. It was a relief to see his face again. He was so beautiful, even more beautiful than James remembered. “Stop staring at me like that.”

“Sorry,” James said quickly. “Like what?”

“Like I’m an angel coming down to save you,” Regulus muttered.

James blinked. “So specific,” James whispered. “You did save me though, didn't you? I remember—I think I remember you being there.”

Regulus gave a half smile but it didn’t touch his eyes. “I was there,” Regulus said. He leaned forward. “Why did you go there? I almost didn’t make it in time.” His voice was a dangerous whisper, it spoke to pain so deep that James would never be able to understand it.

“Peter.”

“Peter,” Regulus growled. The air on James’s arms stood up, electrified by the energy coming off of Regulus’s body.

“He betrayed me,” James whispered.

“I know.”

“I thought he was my friend. I felt horrible that someone innocent had been caught up in my mess.”

“Your mess,” Regulus repeated unhappily. James ignored him, his chest growing tight.

“But he wasn’t caught. He wanted to be a vampire. He was always so interested in all of you. I thought he just thought you were hot. I didn’t realize.” He took a gasping breath as Regulus placed his hand against James’s chest.

“Breathe, baby,” Regulus whispered. It made James abruptly slam back into his body, ripping him from his oncoming panic attack.

“You’ve never called me baby before,” James said.

Regulus looked mildly embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“No! I like it,” James hurried to say. “I really like it.”

A soft smile crossed Regulus’s face, a real smile this time, his eyes crinkling slightly. His expression fell a second later though. James missed it the moment it was gone.

“I thought you were going to die,” Regulus said.

“I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize,” Regulus said, glancing away. “I don’t think I can take anymore guilt and you apologizing for almost dying is not helping.”

“I shouldn’t have left the house,” James said.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Regulus agreed. He gritted his teeth. “Narcissa shouldn’t have let you go.”

“I like her.”

“No one likes her.”

“There is no way that’s true,” James said. “She’s very intimidating.”

“I know,” Regulus said shaking his head slightly. “She thought I was holding you hostage, that I was making her help me hold you hostage.”

“You weren’t,” James said, as if that needed clarification. “I did miss you though.”

Regulus’s next smile was sad. “You have no idea what that word even means.”

“What?” James breathed.

“I shouldn’t have gotten you into this,” Regulus said. He looked down at James’s body. James hadn’t bothered to look yet, but now that he did, he wondered if he should feel worse than he did.  His left arm was bandaged and one of his legs was wrapped in a cast.

“What’s the damage?” James asked, aiming for lighthearted. Regulus did not smile. If anything, his eyes grew darker.

“You have a broken leg.”

“I remember that part,” James joked. Regulus’s furious look grew more intense. “Some deep cuts, a concussion, two of your ribs are fractured, and on your shoulders…” He trailed off with a haunted glance.

James searched his face, trying to make sense of it, before he remembered. “He bit me,” he said.

Regulus nodded, his jaw held so tight that James could have cut himself on it. “He bit you.”

“It burned.”

“That was the venom. It’s meant to incapacitate you so you don’t get away. How Peter managed to move with it, I have no idea.”

“Um, shouldn’t I be a vampire now?” James asked uncomfortably. Regulus’s eyes snapped to his.

“What did you just say?”

“With the venom, I thought that’s how you became a vampire.”

“Who told you that?”

James shrunk slightly. “Bellatrix,” he replied, feeling very much like a child accidentally tattling on someone.

Regulus scowled. “She’s such a pest.”

“I like her.”

“You say that about everyone,” Regulus muttered darkly. “Next you’re going to say you like Dolohov too.”

“No, him I don’t like,” James said unhappily. Regulus visibly softened. “Is he still—you know?”

“He’s dead,” Regulus said simply. “He can never hurt you again.”

“He wanted to hurt you more than me,” James said.

Regulus made a terrible face as if James had just lit him on fire, but it was gone as soon as it came. “I know,” he said.

“You watched the video,” James assumed.

“I watched the video,” Regulus confirmed.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” James said solemnly. Regulus scoffed and then leaned forward to kiss James quickly on the lips. James hadn’t been paying much attention to the distant beeping sound, but it was painfully obvious when that beeping began to speed up. Regulus laughed as he pulled away. “That’s embarrassing,” James said quietly.

“No more than usual,” Regulus said with a smirk.

James felt confused for only a second. “Oh, you can always hear it.”

Regulus nodded once.

“I’m humiliated,” James said simply.

“It’s quite helpful,” Regulus said primly, his eyes dragging down a bit. James’s heart sped up again. “I shouldn’t tease you now though. It might attract the nurses.”

James laughed once, but the pain it caused in his ribs made him stop. Regulus’s eyebrows furrowed instantly.

“Is the pain coming back?”

“It’s not terrible,” James said through his teeth.

“Don’t lie,” Regulus admonished. “If it hurts, you have to tell me.” He sounded nervous and James hated it.

“I’ll tell you,” James said, relaxing back into the bed. “It was just for a moment. I’m okay.”

Regulus didn’t look like he believed him. “I should get Sirius to come back. I don’t trust any of these doctors.”

“Sirius was here?”

Regulus’s lips turned up in a smirk.

“What’s that face for?” James asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Regulus said. James wanted to know, he wanted to worry about it, but Regulus must have understood that he was about to ask again because he kissed him again to shut him up.

When Regulus pulled away, James let a goofy smile stick on his face for a long moment. Regulus just shook his head like he couldn’t believe him.

“Are you still tired?”

“Yes,” James said immediately. “I think if I closed my eyes, I’d be asleep immediately.”

“You should sleep then,” Regulus said.

“You’ll still be here when I wake up?” James asked, something trickling down his spine, the first inclination that something was amiss, a worry he hadn’t realized he had. It grew worse with Regulus's frown.

“Your father will be coming back,” Regulus said.

“You’re not leaving,” James said. It wasn’t a question.

“I should—”

“I don’t want you to leave,” James added. Regulus was unsettled, uneasy, unable to respond for a moment. When James’s heart skipped a beat, Regulus sighed.

“I’ll still be here,” Regulus said. “James, you have to stop getting worked up.”

“You’re not going to leave?”

“No, I’m not going to leave.”

James didn’t know if they were just talking about the hospital. There was something to the way Regulus was holding his shoulders, like he was less comfortable than he’d been the last time they’d met.

“Get some sleep,” Regulus instructed.

James let his eyes fall closed, but he opened them a second later. “What happened to Peter?”

“I don’t know,” Regulus confessed. He looked like he’d wished James hadn’t asked that. “He must have had someone waiting for him. His car was gone and by the time we’d dealt with Dolohov, he was long gone. We’ll find him though.”

James didn’t like the sound of that. What Peter did… James didn’t know what else he was capable of.

“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Okay,” James mumbled. He really was tired. “I love you,” he said as sleep began to pull at his thoughts.

“I love you too, Jamie,” Regulus whispered.

Chapter Text

James slept for two days before they let him out of the hospital. His father didn’t seem as wrecked as he feared he would, but he didn’t seem entirely himself yet either. He insisted on driving James home himself, though he hadn’t come up to Alaska alone, so Regulus allowed him to take his car so he could drive James back down to Washington. Regulus agreed to return James’s truck to Washington once the rest of them drove back. Fleamont had no reason to suspect it wasn’t in the state with them.

James tried not to complain, especially when he noticed the strained interactions between everyone who’d come to see him in the hospital.

When he made it back to his house, his father pulled into the driveway, parking Regulus’s car with a slight jolt as he had been the entire drive back as if he wasn’t used to driving something so reactive to his touch, then he turned to James with regretful eyes.

“I know you said—” his father began. James held up a hand to stop him.

“I’m sorry for everything I said,” James said quickly.

“You don’t have to apologize for telling me your feelings.”

“They weren’t my feelings. Or they were, at the time. But I didn’t mean them long term. I was just having a bad day and I overreacted.”

“James,” his father sighed.

“Please, will you forgive me?” James’s chest grew tight as he asked, his lungs constricting. He’d been feeling guilty from the moment he left his father’s house. He never thought he would, his younger self would have never felt bad for hurting his dad, not after all their fights, but now, all he wanted was to come home.

Before he’d returned from New York, spending time with his father had seemed like a chore, like something he had to do otherwise he would live with the eternal guilt of what his mother would think of him. But now that he’d been back, now that he’d seen how poorly his father was doing, it felt less like a burden and more like something he wanted to do. He didn’t know how long they had, he never knew, but it felt more pressing now.

“Oh, James, you never have to ask for my forgiveness,” his father said. All the harsh things his father had said to him in the past ran through his thoughts, but he didn’t dwell on them. For now, they were water under the bridge. Some things were broken beyond repair, and some things were just what they were, a misshapen form that he called family.

“Thanks, Dad,” James said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

His father helped him out of the car, but neither of them could get James safely up the stairs so he crashed on the couch. Fleamont tried to stay down there with him, setting up in the recliner and throwing a thin blanket over his legs. James let him stay down there as they watched through two reruns of Forensic Files, but when his pain started returning and he knew he’d have to take more painkillers to sleep, he sent his father up to bed.

“I’m going to be out all night,” James told him. “You don’t need to mess up your back just to stay with me. I’ll yell if I need anything.”

His dad was too tired to argue by that point in the night, worn out from the long drive, so he stood up and squeezed James’s shoulder before slowly climbing the stairs, leaving James in the silent living room.

Being out all night turned out to be a bit of a naive expectation because he was jolted awake at four in the morning by the extreme need to pee. It was dark in the living room, the only light coming in from the windows, a distant street lamp glowing through the fog outside. It was because of this that he didn’t instantly notice that he wasn’t alone. His heart rate jumped in fear for a second before he realized who it was.

“Regulus?” he whispered.

Regulus’s eyes looked like they were glowing in the dim light. He looked inhuman. His statue-like face softened when James said his name, a small twitch in his jaw and a curve to his lips. It made James ache to touch him, but he was too far for James to reach out. He was stuck away from him.

“When did you get here?” James asked. He wanted to hold out a hand, to gesture for Regulus to come to him. Something stopped him though, something kept him from grabbing for what he wanted. He worried about what that something might be, but he couldn’t place it.

“I’ve been with you the whole time,” Regulus said.

“Like spiritually?” James whispered.

Regulus’s eyebrows furrowed. “No, James, not spiritually. I ran back with you, just in case your dad crashed the car or something. I waited till he went to bed to enter the house.”

James was far passed feeling stalked by Regulus. All he felt was cared for.

“I missed you,” James said.

“It hasn’t even been a day,” Regulus smirked as he spoke the words, softening the blow.

“Missed you anyway,” James said. His eyes were already growing heavy, but he still had to pee. “Do you think you could help me up the stairs?”

Regulus’s smirk grew. “Did you want me to take you to bed?”

James snickered tiredly. “Better not otherwise my dad will question it, but I can’t get to the bathroom on my own.”

Regulus moved quickly, picking James up off the couch as if he weighed nothing. It was intimate in a domestic sort of way having Regulus help him to the bathroom. He might have been embarrassed about it had he not been so tired. His leg ached, even with the pain meds and the thick cast wrapped around it, and he was beyond caring what Regulus might think of him.

“I hate that he did this to you,” Regulus muttered once they made it back downstairs. They were in the exact same position that they’d been in a moment before, James lying on his back on the couch and Regulus seated before him. He’d pulled over a chair from the kitchen table at some point, but James knew he didn’t really need to sit. He wondered if Regulus chose to do it so he wouldn’t scare James too badly. It would be much more jarring to wake up to find him standing over him, staring down like a possessed man.

“He’s gone now,” James reminded him.

“I know.” Regulus clenched his teeth. He didn’t speak again, but there were words in the air regardless. Words that sounded like ‘I’m worried this isn’t over’ and ‘This is just the beginning.” James didn’t know if he was hallucinating, or if he truly felt something shake in the air between them.

It was as if, for a moment, the world around them had shifted and aligned so that James could feel the long road ahead.

He sucked in a breath.

“Are you in pain?” Regulus asked, rushing forward fast enough for James to miss it. He knelt next to the couch, one cold hand on James’s chest.

“No,” James lied. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to take any more pain meds, not tonight at least. Especially not with Regulus here. Having him next to him, his unusual eyes glued to his, made him feel as though he’d mourn the loss of Regulus the moment he stepped away, even just to take his seat again. “Will you stay?”

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” Regulus said, which meant no. Perhaps he had to head back to his home or go meet up with someone. James decided not to ask. He let his eyes slide closed and before Regulus could think to pull away, he reached up and grabbed Regulus’s hand.

James was in the cast for five weeks by the time his birthday rolled around. He was really hoping to finally get out of it, but Dr. Quirrell said no. He even tried to ask Sirius, sure that if anyone was going to say yes to him it would be him, but Sirius just shook his head with a grimace.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said, sounding like he meant it. “You just need another week or two, then it’ll be okay to remove. It was a bad break.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Plus Regulus will bite my head off if I do something I’m not supposed to. He’s been very tetchy lately.”

“He’s always tetchy,” James pouted.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Sirius said with a kind nod. “But he’ll be worse if we don’t take care of you.”

“That’s stupid.”

Sirius gave an over-exaggerated frown. “It is, isn’t it?”

He was still pouting about it later that evening when the sunset and he was stuck in bed feeling like an invalid. He’d gone back to school only a week after coming back from Alaska, but he’d been so behind that he’d spent the next few weeks going straight home from classes to catch up on homework. He went back to work at the Longbottom’s place as well, using his crutches to walk inside and sitting behind the cash register until it was time to go. Frank had to take over all of the stocking, but he seemed more than happy to do it. Most of James’s human friends were very stressed about his accident and were falling over each other to help him. It was a bit humiliating actually.

“Are you pouting again?” Regulus's smooth voice drifted in from the open window. Sometimes he liked to speak before he showed himself, just to catch James off guard. James scowled.

“I’m not pouting,” he said. Regulus dropped through the window with an unfair grace, his feet landing soundlessly on James’s floor, his hair barely moving as he shifted. He always seemed to look more beautiful than the last time James had seen him as if James's mind couldn’t completely remember how incredible Regulus looked. It was unfair, his sharp jaw and long fingers pulling James out of his sulk without Regulus having to do a single thing.

“Sirius told me you want to remove your cast,” Regulus said, slowly prowling toward James. James propped himself up on his elbows so that he wasn’t just staring at the ceiling.

“Sirius is a snitch,” James said roughly.

Regulus tilted his head back to laugh. “He can be,” he agreed, taking another step. And another. And one more. He was at the end of the bed now, his shoulders back and his arms hanging limply by his sides. Despite the leisure with which he walked, he looked completely in control. He looked put together, managed, dominant.

“He said you’re the reason he won’t take it off,” James said.

“That’s true too.”

James frowned. “It’s itchy. And I can’t walk with it on.”

“You won’t be able to walk with it off either, not with the state of your leg.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do,” Regulus said.

James huffed and dropped his head back to the bed. Maybe staring at the ceiling wasn’t so bad after all. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Regulus shift as if pushing onto the balls of his feet, and then with a cat-like ease, he began crawling up the bed, over James's body.

James forced himself not to look directly at him. He would not be denied his right to pout, not tonight.

Regulus didn’t touch him as he crawled, he stayed just far enough away from James’s prone form so James would only be able to feel the shift in the air as he moved. By the time Regulus’s face appeared above James's own, he felt like he was being tortured. His black curls were all falling forward around his face like the branches of a tree come to provide safety and comfort to a dying man. His eyes were alight with mischief.

James wanted to kiss him, but instead, foolishly perhaps, he asked, “Why didn’t you turn me into a vampire?”

“Why would I have?”

“Because then I would be like you.”

“Do you want to be like me?” Regulus tilted his head.

James thought about it. “Don’t you want me to?”

Regulus’s lips twitched. “That’s not an answer.”

“I can’t think of a reason not to,” James said. “If I stay as I am, I’m going to age and die. I’ll lose you, likely a lot sooner than I’ll die.”

“You’ll have to watch everyone you know die,” Regulus countered.

“I might have to do that anyway,” James said, his throat tightening to the point of pain. “There is no guarantee that I won’t have to watch everyone I know and love die. I already had to watch my mother die.”

Regulus frowned softly. “There is a price.”

“What is it?” James asked instantly.

“Losing your humanity—”

“I don’t care about my humanity.”

Regulus looked unfathomably sad for a split second before his face settled with resolve. “If you’re certain…”

“I am,” James said though his heart sped up. Would his leg still be broken if Regulus turned him now? Would it always be skinnier than his other leg? Surely, being a vampire would heal that. Regulus leaned down toward him, and James nearly panicked, nearly threw him off, and scrambled away. He was like an animal fighting to stay alive. Instead, he froze, he waited, and he tried to accept what was to come.

When Regulus was only a few inches away, James tilted his chin up, careful not to reveal his shaking, and showed his neck to the predator above him. He caught Regulus smiling from his peripheral vision and had to close his eyes to keep from losing control of himself. He’d been thinking about this since Dolohov nearly killed him. He’d been thinking about what his life would be like if Regulus had let the venom spread.

Regulus’s breath crested against James’s clammy skin, making goosebumps spread out across his body. He gritted his teeth, prepared for pain, then jumped violently when he felt cold lips press against him.

“Not tonight,” Regulus mumbled, his voice low enough to make James’s hips twitch.

“Why not?” James gasped. Regulus kissed his neck one more time then lifted his head so he could kiss James directly on the lips. James kissed him back, he couldn’t imagine a context where he didn’t kiss Regulus back.

“Because I’m not ready,” Regulus whispered.

James wanted to know why, he wanted to see all the creases and shadows that Regulus kept hidden, all the secrets he’d compiled over his decades of life, but then Regulus was kissing him again and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Regulus was heavy above him when he finally dropped his weight so he wasn’t crouched above James. Their hips connected instantly and James groaned slightly, Regulus rubbing against his rapidly hardening cock. He grabbed Regulus by the waist and pulled him down a little harder, moaning when Regulus let him.

He’d been so tender with James when they first came back from Alaska. It had been driving James crazy for a while.

“Please, I need you,” James whimpered when he felt Regulus start to pull away. He couldn’t take another day of dry humping. It was making him feel like a pent-up teenager.

“You’re still hurt,” Regulus said quietly.

“Barely,” James groaned. “Please, just let me suck your cock or something. I’m desperate.”

Regulus let out one loud laugh and then covered his mouth in surprise. “You’re desperate to suck my cock? How exactly does that satisfy you?”

James grinned lecherously. “Oh, trust me. It satisfies me.” He started unbuttoning Regulus’s jeans before he could argue and was pleased when Regulus let him. He pulled out Regulus’s hard cock, wrapping one hand tightly around it. Regulus made a soft noise of pleasure and then forced James’s hand away. James nearly cried. Truly. He almost shed a tear. To be denied something so lovely…

He was so close to wallowing that he almost didn’t notice Regulus tossing off all of his clothes in the blink of an eye, leaving him kneeling over James completely naked, his cock standing proudly between his spread legs.

“Oh, please,” James said.

“You’re so alluring when you beg like that,” Regulus said, finally sounding as entrenched as James did. James went to grab his cock again, sure that he would be allowed to this time, but Regulus knocked his hand aside.

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

“No pouting!” Regulus admonished, grabbing James by the chin with one hand and pulling him up so Regulus could kiss him roughly. James pushed himself up onto his hands so he could compile then grunted in shock when Regulus shoved him back down. “Quiet. You’re going to wake the neighbors.”

“I’m going to wake my father,” James said.

“He left to go to the diner,” Regulus said, grabbing for James’s pajama bottoms. “He didn’t invite you because you always make him order vegetables.”

James gasped. “That bastard.”

Regulus laughed then yanked at James’s bottoms hard enough for them to fly off his legs, his cock flopping against his stomach.

“Jesus,” he whispered.

“It’s been so hard not to touch you,” Regulus said, staring down at James’s cock.

“No one was stopping you.”

“I was trying to be careful.” Regulus barely got the word out before he bent forward and swallowed James down to the root. James shouted in surprise, his stomach tightening as his arm flailed. He’d forgotten how skilled Regulus was with his mouth.

“I’m gonna come,” James said rapidly.

Regulus pulled off of him. “Already?” He quirked an eyebrow.

“Your mouth is on my cock and I’m in love with you, yes, already,” James said loudly.

Regulus smiled. A real, dazzling, dizzying, smile. His teeth glittered, and his eyes crinkled with happiness.

“I’d forgotten about that part,” Regulus said. “That you love me.” He dropped James cock and climbed back up so they were face to face. He kissed James once, deeply, his tongue dipping into his mouth like he was trying to claim the space for himself, like he was planning to plant a flag directly on James’s tongue. James could hear him messing with something, but he couldn’t tell what, too distracted by the feel of Regulus’s mouth on his.

When Regulus pulled away just enough to let out a pleasured whine, James finally let himself look. From this angle, lying flat on his bed, he could only make out one of Regulus’s arms disappearing behind him, moving back and forth slowly.

“Are you fingering yourself?” James said and he really did nearly come them. He had to reach between them and grab the base of his cock to keep himself from losing control.

“Yes,” Regulus said, placing his hand—the one that had just been inside of him—on James’s mattress. He lifted the other and reached behind him to grab James’s throbbing cock. He was so hard, harder than he’d ever been, and it was making him feel lightheaded.

“What are you going—”

He couldn’t finish the sentence. He couldn’t remember the concept of words. Because Regulus was lowering himself onto him, he was sitting on James’s cock, squeezing him so hard that James thought he might lose his cock. He was sure it would be worth it either way.

He wasn’t cold on the inside, he was warm. So warm. Hot even. Like lava pouring out around him. James couldn’t do anything but grip him. He thought that if he let go his soul might leave his body. Regulus’s teeth were sharp when he tossed his head back and moaned, both of his hands now directly on James’s chest, holding himself still.

“I love you,” James said helplessly. Regulus grinned down at him, his curls flying forward as he did so.

“I love you too.” Regulus kissed him once, sat up, and gripped James by the shoulders hard. “Now, hold on.”

Chapter Text

“The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.”

Chapter Text

In the weeks leading up to his birthday, James had no less than six dreams about losing his teeth.

He didn’t usually have stress dreams. Of course, he’d had his fair few in the past, a handful here and there that stuck out in his memory, but typically, James was a very good sleeper. Especially over the last year when he’d gone to bed each night feeling satiated and happy and loved.

Putting his finger on what had changed since then was difficult, but he hoped it was just birthday jitters. He usually loved his birthday, he loved attention and he loved forcing all of his friends into one place to make them have a party. It was the perfect set up for someone like him. This year should be the best one yet, with an entirely new friend group to force into party mode. Not to mention that his last birthday, when he should have gotten to experience all the new friend party antics, was when he was injured and too sad about Peter to do much of anything but sulk.

“Another nightmare?” Regulus asked as James sat up in bed, grabbing his glasses and sliding them on his face.

James rubbed his jaw as he moved like he was nursing an injury to the face. He almost felt like he’d had his teeth extracted the night before. He must have been grinding them. Glancing over, he found Regulus sitting at James’s desk, a notebook sitting open in front of him.

According to Regulus’s family—but mostly Barty and Lily—Regulus had always been a big journaler. He’d had hundreds of journals over his lifetime, often writing in them for hours on end. James hadn’t realized in the early weeks of their relationship because apparently Regulus was too busy with James to journal in his presence, and, more importantly, every single time Regulus finished writing in a journal, flipping to the last empty page, he would burn the entire book.

“What? Why did you just do that?” James yelped the first time he witnessed it happen.

They were in James’s living room sitting around the fire, the last one before the spring weather was too warm, when Regulus stood from James’s side, closed his journal, and tossed it into the fire like it was nothing. James had jumped up and rushed forward like he might be able to rescue the wilting pages when Regulus stopped him with a gentle hand.

“Why are you panicking?” Regulus asked.

“You just burned your journal! All that work!”

“I always burn my journals,” Regulus explained with a head tilt.

“Why?” James asked, still reeling with shock.

“You think I’m the type of man to leave a dangerous paper trail like that around?” Regulus asked, shaking his head like he was disappointed that James would even bring it up.

Regulus looked to be about halfway through his current journal now. James wasn’t sure when he’d purchased the new one, but he’d been writing in them more and more over the last few weeks. It took him a moment to realize Regulus was still watching him expectantly.

“Oh, yeah,” James answered finally. “Just a small one.” He shook his head. “I wonder why that’s happening.”

Regulus’s lips twitched. “I’m not sure,” Regulus said, sounding as if he was genuinely considering it, like he could parse out the complexities of the dream world if he just thought about it enough. James smiled softly.

“What are you writing about?” he asked. He always asked that. Regulus never answered.

“You,” Regulus said with a smirk, then turned back to his journal, scribbling across the page faster than James could track.

“What about me?” James breathed.

“I’m documenting what we did last night,” Regulus said plainly, but James felt heat build up his spine.

“Oh, yeah?” James asked. “Is that what you’re always writing? You’re narrating our sex life.”

Regulus delicately lifted one shoulder. “How else would I remember everything?”

James laughed softly. “Do you journal about the sex you have with all your partners?”

Regulus gave him a mockingly disapproving look. “I only have one partner, James.”

James laughed harder. “Yes, thank you. I’m glad that’s the case. But I mean did you do this in the past?”

Regulus gave him a soft smile, something tender that made James want to crawl toward him. “No, James, only you.”

James watched him for a moment, pleased by the way the muscles in Regulus's arm would twist and bend every time he started a new line. Every part of him was artful, like a dancer twisting in the light. It was intoxicating watching him, it always had been. James had thought he might get used to the sight, but now he didn’t think he ever would. He could look at Regulus for the rest of his life and still be in awe. He could look at him longer than that if Regulus would let them have the conversation about it, but Regulus had been dodging that for months and months.

“Are you still watching me?” Regulus asked.

James smiled to himself. “Come back to bed.”

“I’m writing,” Regulus replied without looking up.

James stuck out his bottom lip. “But it’s my birthday.” Regulus paused, freezing in place, and then turned to look at him, his grin hungry.

“That’s true,” he said, standing with a grace that should have been illegal. He wasn’t naked anymore like he had been when James drifted off to sleep, but he was still only dressed in a pair of expensive boxers, the rest of his perfect pale skin on display. Regulus sauntered forward like a cat on the prowl, one foot in front of the other like someone walking a runway, and James felt his heart rate speed up.

Regulus crossed James's small bedroom in no time at all and then leaned forward so he was at eye level with James, placing his hands on James’s thighs and kissing him so thoroughly that James felt a bit dizzy. The taste of him made James groan, and when Regulus pulled the blanket aside and took a seat directly on his cock, he nearly came. Regulus’s boxers were still separating them, but the thin layer of fabric was almost more intriguing than if he was completely naked.

“Well?” Regulus asked, rolling his hips like the torture artist he was. “What now?”

“Huh?” James asked, barely an incoherent mumbled, his brain leaking out of his ears.

“You wanted me to come back to bed,” Regulus purred in his ear. James’s grip on Regulus’s hips tightened, harsh enough to leave bruises if it were possible, and he tugged Regulus just a tad closer.

“Let me blow you,” James gasped.

Regulus laughed, high and sharp, a mocking sound that made James grunt, his naked cock kicking angrily like it was trying to remind him it was still there.

“It’s your birthday, and you want to blow me?” Regulus asked. He rolled his hips when he said it so James couldn’t hear much of anything. It took a second for the words to even penetrate his mind.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “Yeah, that’s what I want.”

“No,” Regulus said.

“No?” James whined. He hadn’t realized his eyes were closed until he had to open them to look at Regulus. Regulus was smiling and shaking his head, his face soft but his eyes sharp and calculating.

“Lay back,” Regulus instructed.

James was lying backward on the bed before Regulus had even finished speaking. Regulus lifted off of him and grabbed James from under the thighs, shifting him so that he was in the center of the mattress, his legs spread just wide enough for a now-naked Regulus to sit between them. He was hard too, his cock like an evil tease for how far away it was from James’s mouth.

“Put your hands behind your head,” Regulus said softly. James moved to obey him and leaned back like he was relaxing by the pool, but he was sure he was panting like a dog, his chest moving erratically as he tried to get a bit more air.

When Regulus lowered his head so he could place a chaste kiss on James’s upper thigh, Regulus lifted his hips, presenting them behind him provocatively. When he pressed James’s legs apart and kissed the inside of his thigh, he mumbled, “It’s your birthday, James. You’re supposed to be the spoiled one.” When he took James into his mouth and swallowed around him hard enough to make James’s hips jump, he wiggled his hips like a cat preparing to pounce, as if he was overtly pleased by James's reaction.

When James finally came, Regulus swallowed around him like it was nothing and then laid directly onto James so they were face to face, their noses brushing as James caught his breath.

“Happy birthday,” Regulus whispered.

It was a Friday, so James should have had classes and then work. He’d been spending a lot of his free time at work lately, Frank was too busy to take many extra shifts so it was left to James to run the place for the most part, but he didn’t mind. He liked working for the Longbottoms’, it was calming, and he always knew what to expect.

However, since it was his birthday, he’d decided to take the day off, but from school and work. Instead, he planned to spend the day lounging about the house. He had a late lunch planned with his father—at the diner, because his dad didn’t like going to very many new places—and then a party later that night. Because Frank was invited to that party, his grandmother had decided to just close the store altogether.

“Most of us are going to be at the party anyway,” Frank told him, making James feel more special than he ever had before. Closing down half the town so he could throw a bonfire at his boyfriend’s house? He couldn’t imagine a better birthday than that.

Regulus only left that morning so that James could shower and then let him in the front door where Fleamont could see him. Things weren’t bad exactly between the two men, but since James was injured the year before, Fleamont had been a bit more distant with all the members of Regulus’s family. Especially Sirius. He really didn’t like Sirius. Though James had no idea why.

“Good morning, Mr. Potter,” Regulus said politely, his voice carrying a vague accent like he was pulling on his childhood. Sirius once told James that they’d grown up speaking something now called ‘Middle French’ but James didn’t know what that meant exactly, other than the fact that Regulus and Sirius were much older than he originally realized.

“Oh, right, Regulus,” Fleamont said like he forgot Regulus was coming, as if he and James hadn’t just talked about it. “Come in.”

“Thank you, sir,” Regulus said, giving James a quick smile to soothe his nerves. He knew better than most than James wished they got along better, but he also always found a way to remind James that he didn’t mind being put through the very polite ringer by his father.

“He loves you, of course, he wants to protect you,” Regulus had told him once when James was complaining about it.

“Should we go to lunch?” James asked loudly before his dad could start in on questions about Regulus’s future. It was a topic that had become the new focus for the man, as if he could somehow catch Regulus off guard by trying to trick him into telling him his nefarious plan. Fleamont had been very heavy-handed about James’s future when he was a young teenager but he hadn’t bothered to keep up with his ‘life plan’ in years, not since he moved to New York and definitely not since he dropped out of college.

It was annoying to watch him pretend to care about Regulus’s now, but Regulus was a good sport, often going on and on about his plan to attend a proper university before getting his master's. Regulus apparently had his masters, about a dozen times over. He and his family were all ridiculously educated. Sirius was the worst apparently, he’d studied to be a doctor and a vet in more than twenty countries.

“Lunch sounds perfect,” Regulus said kindly. “Should I drive?”

“I’ll drive,” Fleamont said gruffly.

“Dad, be nice,” James said.

“I am being nice,” Fleamont said then turned a manic, over-exaggerated grin on Regulus. Regulus returned it as if nothing was wrong. All James could do was smile apologetically.

They climbed into Fleamont’s truck, James sliding into the middle seat so Regulus could sit by the window. Regulus leaned into his side once they were seated, a calming reminder that he was there as Fleamont put the truck in reverse and backed out of the driveway. The drive to the diner was slow and quiet, the cab of the truck just a bit too hot. Regulus’s cool body was a welcome relief.

The diner was mostly empty when they arrived, but James did spot Hagrid, Professor Flitwick, and Sirius sitting at a table in the corner.

“What’s your brother doing here?” James asked when they found their seat on the other side of the diner.

“Hagrid brought in a new dog this morning,” Regulus said. “He belonged to someone, he already had a microchip in him, but Hagrid had already grown attached so Sirius said he was going to take him out to lunch to cheer him up.”

James laughed. “Poor Hagrid,” he said.

“He’s got a problem with those animals,” Fleamont said. “But he’s always nice to them.”

“Sirius has been trying to convince him to become a vet himself, or at least to run some sort of shelter for all the animals he rescues,” Regulus said.

Fleamont gave him a disgruntled look but said, “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

Regulus smiled, this time genuinely, giving James a pleased look.

The rest of lunch passed pleasantly and by the end of it, James felt light and happy. Rosmerta brought over a piece of pie for him at the end of their meal. “On the house,” she told him with a wink.

“I’m going to get a ride back with Sirius,” Regulus said at the end of lunch. “I’ll pick you up at seven for the party, okay?”

James nodded but frowned slightly when Regulus didn’t kiss him goodbye. He knew he probably didn’t want to do it in front of James's father but it still disappointed him.

“See you,” James called after him.

His father drove him through town on the way home. He couldn’t help but think about how much had changed since he first moved here. It felt like he was a completely different person. Originally, when he’d moved to Godric’s Hollow, he’d thought he would only live there for a little while, help out his father recover from his mother’s death, but now he couldn’t imagine just up and moving.

For one thing, his father needed him more than he originally thought, and for another, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere but with Regulus. Plus, he’d built a life for himself in Godric’s Hollow. Maybe it wasn’t a life he could have imagined a year or so ago but he felt like he was at home. He had a job, his family, his lover, and friends he couldn’t imagine living without.

“Do you want to stop by the cemetery?” his dad asked quietly. “I know it’s your birthday, but I thought—”

“That’s a good idea,” James interrupted him. “I’m sure mom wants to wish me a happy birthday.”

Fleamont nodded. “I bet she would.”

The cemetery was a little outside of town behind a small church that was barely used. It was a beautiful piece of land, canopied by tall, old trees that left it under permanent shading. Near his mother’s grave was a stone bench his father had paid to put in a few months after she died. They both sat on it after they approached, looking down at his mother’s name permanently etched into stone next to them.

“Your mom would be proud of you,” his father said.

James looked up at him. “You think so?”

Fleamont nodded. “I know she would,” he said. “She always—” he cleared his throat. “She always said she wanted you to follow your own path. I didn’t understand what she meant back then.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I could really appreciate it at the time.”

“She could be very cryptic,” James said carefully. His father nodded, swallowing like his unshed tears were caught in his throat.

“She always loved you without boundaries. I was envious of that. I always felt like I was putting expectations on your shoulders that you couldn’t meet, trying to decide how you should live your life for you.”

“Dad,” James said quietly.

“I just want you to know I regret it, and I want your mom to know that she was right.”

They both gave a watery laugh and fell into a comfortable silence. There wasn’t much else to say. They’d been coming out to the cemetery for months now and they’d done all the talking they could, mostly sharing fond stories and staying away from any of the hard stuff. It was cathartic, but it would never heal the wound her death had left.

Once they were done, half an hour come and gone, they stood and walked back to the truck in silence. It was companionable, which James appreciated. It wasn’t always like that with his dad and he really didn’t want to fight with him today.

When James got home, he headed toward the stairs, planning to get ready for his party—he still had a few hours but he wanted to be prepared—when his father stopped him.

“Wait, James,” he said. “There is something I want to give you.”

“You didn’t have to get me a gift,” James said, descending the few stairs he’d climbed in his angst to see Regulus again.

Fleamont avoided eye contact. “I know, but I think I might have missed a few. This is my chance to make up for them.”

“Well, all right,” James mumbled. His father went into the kitchen, James trailing behind him, and opened one of the drawers used exclusively for disposable utensils and leftover sauce packets from a few fast food places a town over. Fleamont dug around noisily, a concentrated frown on his face, before pulling out a small, velvet green box.

He handed it over with a twitch of the eye like he was nervous. James offered one curious eyebrow raise, which his father ignored, and then he opened it, the box creaking as he did.

It was a watch, and well, it was… hideous. It was really quite ugly. Maybe one of the ugliest watches James had ever seen.

“Oh,” he said, trying to muster the appropriate amount of excitement for such a gift. It was obviously expensive if the jewels set into it were any indication, but he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to appreciate them. The watch was a crime against God, a mixture of gold and silver to make a piece of jewelry so bizarre that he felt like he shouldn’t be looking at it.

On the watch’s face was a small drawing of a golfer on a green hill, one hand leaning on his putter and the other behind his head as if reacting to something surprising.

“Wow,” James said, now extremely aware of the silence that permeated around them.

“It was your grandfather’s,” Fleamont said. “Your mom’s dad.”

“He gave this to you?” James asked, glancing away from the wretched thing so he could look at his dad. “I thought Granddad hated you.”

Fleamont barked a laugh. “He did,” he said. “He thought I wasn’t good enough for your mom after I turned down a job selling insurance with him, but we made do and when he was getting older—I think you were about three—he decided to give me this watch so I could pass it on to you. He said it was good luck, that he always found himself right where he needed to be while he was wearing it.”

James could not imagine that that was true, but he nodded anyway like it all made sense.

“You don’t have to wear it, of course,” his father said quickly.

“No, no!” James interrupted him. “I want to.” He fumbled with the old box and pulled the horrible watch out with careful fingers, fitting it around his wrist with a quick press on the metal. “There, see?”

Fleamont smiled, his eyes were watering again, like they had a few times at the cemetery.

“Your mom would love this,” he said and for a second, James was sure he saw a spark of mischief in his father’s eyes, but after a blink, it was gone. “Anyway, I think I’ll take a nap. Have fun tonight, just in case I don’t see you later.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

The sun was just starting to set when Regulus pulled into the driveway. James was already outside, two beers down. He’d made his dad put two chairs out on the front lawn during the summer and together they’d planted a few flowers around them, that way James could enjoy the weather without looking like he was about to move his couch out front.

“Ready to go?” Regulus said, standing just outside of his car door.

“Yep,” James said, downing the last few swallows of his beer before tossing both of the empty bottles in the train cans by the curb. He walked around the car so he could kiss Regulus softly on the lips before getting in his seat.

“Barty went all out,” Regulus said once they were driving.

“Oh, yeah?” James asked excitedly. “What did he do?”

“More than you want to know,” Regulus said. “Honestly, we should have given him a budget.”

James laughed. “He didn’t get a bounce house or something, did he?”

Regulus looked amused. “No, sorry to disappoint you. I’m sure you would have loved a bounce house.”

“I really would have,” James said. “I loved them when I was a kid.”

“Of course, you did,” Regulus mumbled.

“So what all did he do?”

“Well, he spent about $400 buying items for the fire pit if that gives you any indication.”

“Fire pit? I thought it was a bonfire?”

“Oh, of course, Your Majesty, it’s a bonfire, huge and annoying. Don’t you worry.”

James grinned sharply. “I’m not worried,” he said. “Was anyone there when you left to pick me up?”

“Not yet, I’m sure no one is that tacky,” Regulus said.

“You say that now,” James said.

Regulus laughed, but James got the sudden image of Remus Lupin showing up to the party right at eight, case of beer in one hand and a perfectly wrapped birthday present in the other. Remus wasn’t exactly like that, but in the last year, James had gotten to know his much dorkier side. Though he worked as a mechanic in an old garage, he was meticulous about his tools to the point of insanity, often documenting how soon he would need to replace them, even if that date was years in the future. He had a neurosis to him that James had missed in those early months.

Unfortunately, the thought of Remus also made him frown.

“Why are you pouting now?” Regulus asked with another laugh.

“You know, I have other emotions, right? Not everything is pouting.”

“It is on you,” Regulus said, lifting his hand off the steering wheel so he could nudge James in the chin. “Why are you frowning?”

“I was just thinking about Remus.”

Regulus placed his hand back on the steering wheel. “Oh,” he said, “you haven’t heard from him?”

“Not yet, but he said earlier in the week that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the bonfire. He’s so frustrating. I swear he was completely fine and then one day he just changed his opinion completely. I told him that it wasn’t your fault, the whole injury thing, but every time I bring it up he just brushes me off, says he’s not mad at you.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s me he’s mad at,” Regulus said.

“See what I mean?” James asked. “Even you’re being cryptic.”

Regulus sighed. “I’m not being cryptic on purpose,” Regulus confessed. “I just never bothered to look and see what happened. All I know was that Remus was upset and Sirius said something stupid, like he always does, and—” Regulus waved his hand around. “Sirius has a way of making enemies. I wouldn’t take it personally.”

“But it’s my birthday.”

“You’re quite the princess on you’re birthday, aren't you?” Regulus asked with a smirk.

“As if you didn’t make me wait on you hand and foot while it was your birthday,” James said.

“You’d wait on me hand and foot every day if that’s what I wanted,” Regulus said confidently.

James felt a smile spread across his face, slow like syrup and wholly against his will. “Yeah, I really would,” James said. “Can you blame me?”

Regulus only laughed.

The way every member of Regulus’s family wove their cars through the thick forest on the way to their house always impressed James, even if he knew they were well-endowed with enough vampire senses to keep him safe without trying. It was still something to behold, their strong, measured hands like an exacting force like they were parting the trees by their minds’ alone.

The house came into view only with the help of the lights that lined the driveway and were attached to the outside of the building, each of them facing up to give the house an air of mystery. It was fully dark now, but James had no problem making out the party Barty and the others were working on. They’d lit the area well, no doubt prepared for the onslaught of people coming.

It was truly something to behold.

Regulus parked in the garage quickly, his car slotting in right next to his family’s row of luxury vehicles, and he ran around the car to open James’s door before he even had time to unbuckle his seat belt.

“I can’t believe you guys are letting the lowly townsfolk see your house,” James said as he climbed out of the car, his hand settling into Regulus’s.

“I almost can’t either. I thought Evan was going to bite my head off when Lily suggested it. It wasn’t even my idea,” he said exasperatedly. “But then Barty started brainstorming and as much as he’s a pigheaded asshole, Evan can never say no to Barty.”

“I heard that,” Evan said through gritted teeth, coming around the outside of the garage right as James and Regulus walked out into the open air.

“Who cares?” Regulus asked.

“I hid all the valuables,” Evan said.

“You think people are going to steal from you?” James asked, building up the energy to defend his friends from the rude suggestion. Regulus beat him to it.

“Don’t be an ass,” Regulus said. “You promised not to make anyone feel unwelcome.”

“Whatever,” Evan said. He spared a passing glance for James, one that made him want to fold in on himself. They’d been in each other’s lives for over a year now and though James had grown to genuinely like and get along well with Barty, he could never quite crack Evan. He was an impenetrable vault, incapable of bending, even to James’s continued charm.

“Birthday boy!” Sirius shouted suddenly, jogging out of the house at a human’s pace so he could wrap James in a hug, lifting him right off his feet. James cackled, laughing even harder when he noticed Regulus rolling his eyes.

“Hey, Sirius,” James said, giggling like he was a little kid. Sometimes it felt like he’d always known Sirius, like he’d met him as a child and had never been separated.

“Your guests are going to be here in a minute,” Sirius said. “Do you want to see the bonfire we built?”

“See,” James said, giving Regulus a smug look. “It is a bonfire.”

“I don’t know why I try and talk to either of you,” Regulus muttered, but James could see that he was holding back a smile.

“Come on,” Sirius said, nodding his head toward the back of the house. The sun setting had brought a chill to the air, it wouldn’t really warm up until June or July, and even then it would never really get hot, not like it would in New York. James missed the heat, but he tried not to complain.

Though James had been to Regulus’s home many times, he hadn’t spent much time outside on the property. Usually, they were in Regulus’s bedroom, if they could clear the house of everyone else for long enough. James had expected the backyard to be filled with trees, that’s what it looked like from the upper floor windows, but beneath the thick, dark green canopy of leaves, there was a bit of clearing. It looked man-made, but not new. He wondered if they’d thrown parties here before, maybe decades ago when no one here knew them.

In the center of the clearing was a massive pile of kindling surrounded by a ring of stones. The fire wasn’t lit yet, but Barty was circling it with some kind of tool.

“What’s he doing?” James asked. He didn’t bother lowering his voice, Barty would be able to hear him regardless.

“He’s making sure the fire will be the perfect height given the amount of people.”

“What?” James asked. “Is that even possible?”

Sirius shrugged. “I guess we’ll see,” Sirius said. “Should we join him?”

“I guess,” James said uncertainly, but when Barty spotted them and waved them over, all he could feel was excitement. He hadn’t had a birthday like this in years, and he wanted it to be perfect.

Chapter Text

Godric’s Hollow called to Sirius like the whimpers of an abandoned animal.

He’d never been able to stop himself from following them. When he was a child, he would tiptoe through the brush outside his home, the plants sticking to his hand-stitched trousers, looking for creatures most people ignored. Once, when he and Regulus were still living in their first childhood home, before the raid happened and they were forced to run, he’d woken up in the dead of night to the sounds of something crying out in fear.

Regulus was a fussy child; he never slept the way he was supposed to, and he had nightmares from the moment he was born.

“The winter will take that one, if we’re lucky,” the maid had said once when Regulus was only just born. She was drained and cold before the flowers bloomed, in the wrong place at the wrong time, but Regulus lived, continued to draw breath as the months went by, even after their mother left them to the incapable hands of human caretakers.

They never were very good at hiring help, and the maids they had always mistreated Regulus. He was a fussy child, after all. Too difficult, too odd.

Sirius shot out of bed when he heard the cries that night, stumbling on shaky legs in his rush to get to Regulus, only a room over, but Regulus was fast asleep, curled into a ball under a pile of quilts. Sirius thought he must have dreamt the sound, but it came again before he could leave Regulus’s bedroom.

He followed it out into the courtyard, through many doors, beyond the thick walls of their home, and found a young fox, a tiny kit abandoned in the yard. They didn’t usually scream—Sirius didn’t know that then, he barely knew a thing about animals—but this one seemed to reach through the walls of the house to him, calling for the one who might save it.

Wrapping the kit in a thick quilt he stole from the upstairs closet and placing a few pieces of meat from their dinner the night before next to the creatures seemed to be his only options, but he did what he could and sat alongside it as the chilly night grew brittle. His fingers were turning blue by the time the sun rose.

Their maid, a woman whose name escaped him now that so much time had passed, found him in the early morning. The kit ran the moment she left the house looking for him. She discovered him nearly frozen next to a ruined quilt bundled into a knotted mess.

He ended up locked in his room for weeks after that. She said she could hold no trust in him, but he knew she didn’t like him from the start.

Their family, years after Regulus had died and been reborn, after Sirius had followed a similar fate, both through mercy, discovered Godric’s Hollow by accident. It was only Regulus and Evan with him then. They’d been heading for the coast. Sirius had hoped it would provide a much-needed peace for them. The fights between Regulus and Evan had been cresting for weeks, and Sirius was at the end of his rope with both of them.

The town, barely three buildings then, was carved out of a landmass of trees so dense it seemed impossible that people would long to settle there. Sirius was always surprised by humans and their desire to live even in the oddest of circumstances.

It was only a few families who lived there, and they weren’t interested in getting to know anyone new, so they didn’t bother Sirius and his family. They began building their home in the woods only a few weeks later, a nugatory structure they would later tear down with their bare hands. Sirius couldn’t explain it, but of all the places he’d lived, this was the one that settled something in his damaged soul—if vampires could even house such an item.

A full year passed before they met the tribe, but their discovery was by accident. They weren’t even hunting, they were merely exploring the forest, when they came across a group of men, each of them taller than the last, their faces pulled into expressions of determination. Their hearts beat erratically, fear and adrenaline in equal measure, no doubt.

It wasn’t a long conversation, but the men knew what Sirius and his family were. He didn’t know how they knew, but they knew, and they could tell that they’d been hunting—animals, thankfully—in the area for months.

An agreement was struck between them; they agreed not to hunt on land that didn’t belong to them, and the men agreed not to expose them. Evan never seemed to understand, they were faster, stronger, and more dangerous than anyone could fathom. Even Regulus seemed a bit confused by Sirius’s decision to make the deal. But Sirius had long lived with the voices of animals in his head, he knew the importance of the circle of life, and the respect that came with being yet another creature living in the forest, even if he was the most powerful there.

They left Godric’s Hollow when more people moved to the town, and they’d been there long enough for someone to notice they weren’t aging. Evan and Regulus were ready to move on anyway, Evan was always interested in going back to school, he’d been denied to opportunity when he was growing up, and he craved education like other people craved air.

They wouldn’t move back for decades, but when they did, they rebuilt their house into something magnificent. Barty was with them then, and his addition made everything easier. He balanced out the group perfectly, and Sirius, secretly, was thankful that he had another person to introduce to the town he longed for.

He would close his eyes over the years and think of the trees, the sea miles off in the distance calling like a siren, the mountains in every other direction whispering tales of long forgotten journeys.

So together they built the house, but they only stayed for a short time. The tribe they’d struck a deal with still existed, but their place in the tales didn’t seem as important to the newest generation. They were reminded to behave, to follow the rules, but there were no further threats. It was an easy time for most of them, but Regulus was growing unhappy.

It had been happening slowly over the course of years and years, but by that time, it was obvious that Regulus was struggling. He was a fussy child, after all. Depression clung to the edges of his body like the blurring effect of a thunderstorm. Sirius knew they had to do something to keep him from dropping, from falling completely.

They left Godric’s Hollow only five years after moving there. For a while, they lived in Alaska with their cousins who’d settled there only a decade prior, but it wasn’t the right place. They took to traveling after that, the four of them moving every two or three years as Sirius searched for a place where Regulus would stop looking like he wished he’d stayed dead the first time around.

It was easier once Lily and Pandora found them. They’d been out in the desert near Las Vegas, Barty loved to challenge them to races out there because he loved the way the sand would form behind them. Pandora had joined the race without asking. She’d won, beating even Regulus, who was the fastest among them. They didn’t see a day without the girls after that, it was as if they had always been there.

A weight was lifted off of Regulus, he wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t healed, but he was happier than he had been without Lily and Pandora around. Sirius loved them for that.

Years passed, and they continued to move, but still Sirius thought of the trees. He waited though, until the thought they were ready, and after a few decades, he brought back the idea, thinking of the home they’d built for themselves there.

As Sirius watched the bonfire grow bigger under the tall canopy of trees, he wondered if Godric’s Hollow’s call was a good or bad thing. Regulus seemed happier and more tortured than he’d ever been. James, like an asteroid on a collision course for Earth, had crashed into their family.

“He was always meant to,” Pandora shared in confidence. She didn’t often tell them about what she saw, it was too difficult to see the expectations of others get warped after she informed them of something. “Perhaps that’s why you wanted to move back.”

Sirius thought she might have been right, but he couldn’t be sure.

He sought out Regulus in the crowd, spotting him almost instantly. He was always good at finding his brother.

Regulus was standing next to James, his hands tucked behind his back as James talked animatedly with Alice. Regulus had a small smile on his face, but his eyes were tense. It was difficult to watch. Sirius knew Regulus was keeping himself in some kind of forced purgatory, but he couldn’t figure out why.

Alice laughed loudly at something James said, but Sirius hadn’t been paying close enough attention to hear it through the various voices of everyone around them. Alice always laughed like that though. She was quiet most of the time, speaking kindly and softly, but when she laughed, it was like the noise exploded out of her. Sirius liked that about her. He wondered, idly, where her lover was tonight.

“Sirius, hi!” Speak of the devil.

Sirius turned, releasing the unnatural stillness of his muscles as Frank approached him. Frank stumbled slightly as he walked, spilling a splash of beer onto the ground, but he managed to catch himself before any real damage was done. Frank was tall, his legs unreasonably long, but he moved like he’d never been prepared for such growth.

“Hello, Frank,” Sirius greeted with a wide grin. “It’s good to see you.” When he was close enough, Sirius reached out and placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. Frank swayed slightly, he smelled strongly of whiskey, so he must have been drinking something harder before he switched to beer. Sirius would have to make sure he didn’t throw it up on anyone.

“I’m going to do it this weekend,” Frank whispered far too loudly. Sirius checked around them to make sure no one overheard.

“Are you really?” Sirius whispered back excitedly.

Frank nodded hard enough that his hair flopped around on his head. “I spoke to her father this morning. He said I was stupid for asking, but he still said yes because he thinks she’ll say yes.” He leaned a little closer. “Do you think she’ll say yes?”

“Almost certainly,” Sirius answered with a chuckle. “I’m surprised you asked her father. Isn’t that a bit old-fashioned?”

Frank shrugged, but he was grinning wildly. “I think Alice will get a kick out of it.”

“I think you’re right,” Sirius said. “Where are you going to do it?”

“At the beach,” Frank whispered. “It’s supposed to storm for the next few days, but then it should clear up. I’m going to take her out there and do it.”

Sirius grinned. “That’s amazing,” he said emphatically. “I’m so happy for you.”

Frank’s eyes crinkled as his smile stretched so wide that it took up most of his face. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Sirius laughed. “Without me?” he asked.

“Yeah, if you hadn’t given me that advance,” Frank whispered.

“You deserved it,” Sirius said. “Honestly, you’re helping me more than I’m helping you.”

Frank shook his head hard enough to sway. Sirius put his hand back on his shoulder to steady him, though Frank didn’t seem to notice. “That’s definitely not true.”

“It is! I can’t handle all this work on my own.”

Frank raised his eyebrow imperiously. Or he tried to, he mostly just looked like he was having a stroke. “Whatever you say,” Frank muttered. “Thank you anyway.”

“Thank me when she says yes,” Sirius said.

Frank grinned again. His eyes drifted to Alice. “I will,” he said.

The party was a rousing success. Two hours in, and Sirius was sure every human there was drunk. Regulus was still attached to James’s side, but he was smiling now, a soft one that meant he didn’t think anyone was watching him. James kept reaching out, seemingly unaware of his own actions, to pull Regulus into quick kisses. Regulus looked dazed every time he pulled away.

Soft little idiot, Sirius thought fondly.

Lily was near the fire, locked in a fierce argument with two kids from school. He didn’t remember their names, but Lily loved arguing, so he knew she was enjoying herself. Pandora wasn’t far from her, but she was leaning against a tree, her head bobbing to the loud music playing from the speakers Barty had insisted on buying.

Barty and Evan were missing entirely, they’d snuck off into the forest half an hour ago. They weren’t far enough that Sirius couldn’t hear them, but he was trying to ignore the sounds of grunting echoing through the trees.

Sirius was sitting on his porch railing, a bit away from the main party, but he could watch everyone from here, and no one seemed all that interested in speaking to him now that they were all tied up with each other. It gave him a moment to rest. He used to like parties, he still did sometimes, but something about tonight had him on edge, and he hadn’t been able to shake it for days.

When he heard the sound of a car pulling into their driveway, down by the road, his back straightened. Everyone who’d been invited was already here, he’d tracked them coming in, so who was coming to check on them now?

His first thought was the cops, they were far enough out in the forest that no one from town could hear them, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t get complaints about something or other. No one had left yet—Sirius had been keeping track of all the cars in case someone tried to leave drunk—but maybe someone had called.

The car turned out to be an old Jeep, the axel fucked up enough to make a creaking sound as he moved up the drive. In the driver’s seat was Remus Lupin, James’s self-proclaimed best friend and the only member of the Daturachin tribe Sirius had seen in decades. His eyes, an odd mix of hazel and dull gold, landed on Sirius right as he parked.

Sirius looked away first.

“Will you just tell me what happened at the hospital?” Regulus had asked just a few weeks ago. He’d asked so many times before, but Sirius never knew what to tell him.

“I already told you—”

“Yes, I looked at the moment, but it explains fucking nothing. You both look like freaks, and now James is acting like a kicked puppy because his best friend isn’t coming to his birthday party.”

Sirius sniffed. “I never said he couldn’t come to James’s party.”

“You and I both know it’s not your approval that’s holding this in limbo.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “This is stupid. I can just not attend if it’s that serious.”

“James won’t be happy about that either,” Regulus said with a defeated sigh. “Please explain it to me again.”

Sirius shrugged. He couldn’t look at Regulus when he lied to him. “He’s a dick,” Sirius said. “That’s all.”

“He seems nice enough to me,” Regulus drawled.

“Well, maybe I’m a better judge of character.”

Regulus made an irritated noise and dropped it. He’d asked again a few times since that conversation, but Sirius couldn’t answer him, even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. His moment with Remus in the hospital, it wasn’t exactly something he was proud of. He felt like a foolish child, like a person two steps away from insanity, but Remus had reacted the same way.

The dead silence of those hospital halls when Remus and Sirius first saw each other now lived like a festering wound inside Sirius’s chest. Why had it felt like someone was flaying open his ribs and dragging out his organs?

Remus was just a man, a random human, but he’d lifted his head, and his eyes spilled out with rage. Sirius had never been very adept at reading people—that was more Regulus’s or Lily’s specialty—but he felt like he could see every minor emotion playing across Remus’s face. It was like a dance of anger and worry, but the judgment was what cut Sirius deep.

Sirius took a minor step forward, more of an aborted step than anything, and Remus lifted his head. He’d been slumped over, drinking from an old water fountain that looked like it was only half attached to the wall, but when he stood at his full height, Remus seemed to tower over him. He wasn’t even very tall, only an inch or two taller than Sirius, but there was something… almost like a shadow, like a whisper, that felt like he was much taller than he seemed.

It took every ounce of his self-control to keep from baring his teeth like an animal. He never did that, even with the huge predators he encountered in the forest, not even with his family’s hunters. But Remus—he brought out a creature fear that made him feel like he was clawing at the walls.

Remus’s jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed, and his voice, it lingered and lingered, playing in Sirius’s head like a song blasting from two buildings over. No words could be made out through the muffle, but he could hear them regardless.

They hit Sirius’s ear like rip, tear, scorn, hurt, pain, revenge. Remus took a step forward and Sirius did something he hadn’t done ever, not even when he was sure he would die if he didn’t. He took a step back. Remus’s lips turned up at the corners. Arrogance.

“He’s a dick,” Sirius grumbled, mostly to himself, although Regulus’s eyes cut to him through the crowd. Then Regulus turned to see Remus parking and jumping out of his truck, James shouting in surprise.

Sirius watched Remus clap James on the back, the grin on his face making him look younger, like the hardships in his life were lifted from his shoulders for only a few seconds. He was handsome, Sirius thought distantly. Briefly, so quick that Sirius would have missed it had he been human, Remus’s eyes lifted to meet his, and Sirius felt the cold curl of dread make a home at the base of his spine.

He got up from where he was sitting on the porch railing and walked straight into the house. He’d seen enough of the party anyway. He didn’t need to linger to see this.

His office, sitting on the second floor of their home, had thick concrete running between the walls. It didn’t muffle everything—nothing could truly restrict vampire hearing—but it helped a little. At least he wasn’t able to hear Evan and Barty anymore, small mercies. He settled into the chair by the window and turned his stereo on. It was old-fashioned now, though he’d purchased it brand new in the 80s. Steely Dan drifted from the speakers and distracted him enough that he could keep himself from thinking about Remus.

Outside his office windows, he could make out the stretch of trees that surrounded them on all sides. He loved the peace of it, the whispers from the animals that lived throughout the forest. It was like nature herself was speaking to him even when he was alone.

The thoughts of animals weren’t words like they would be for humans, they weren’t so concrete. Animals didn’t have language, not really, but they could communicate nonetheless. Hungry, cold, hot, scared, they all came through like road signs. When he worked with them one-on-one, he could hear them like he could hear Regulus when he was too young to speak. It made perfect sense to him.

From this far away, up in his office away from the trees, he could only hear a hum of feelings, a distant blur that only formed into a concrete mass when he searched for it. Sometimes there were loud contenders—usually fear—that came through like a knife, cutting past the wall of noise. And somewhere, in the place he could always sense, was the feeling of Remus, drifting somewhere beneath him.

He must have been going crazy, losing his mind, because he couldn’t hear the minds of people, and Remus, his mind wasn’t like anything Sirius had ever encountered. It was tender and fierce, dangerous and malleable.

Eventually, the sound grew quiet, and Sirius left his office. The party had ended, and his family was now sitting around the living room. Evan was still missing, but Barty had returned to join the fray. James and Regulus were pressed up against each other on the couch, and Lily was sitting across from them. Pandora lingered near the window, her eyes dancing on the dying bonfire.

“There you are,” Lily said. “We wondered where you went.”

“Needed some fresh air,” Sirius said with a dismissive grin. He didn’t miss the way Regulus’s eyes rolled. It didn’t matter, he couldn’t tell Regulus what he felt, not without sounding insane.

“James is about to open gifts.” It was Barty, but he was facing James and laughing slightly.

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” James said, his cheeks a little pink. He smelled like booze, Sirius could smell it on his breath every time he spoke. He didn’t look too drunk, but Sirius guessed it must be hard to read. The party had dragged on for hours anyway, so he could have sobered up.

He was still thinking about the general state of James’s drunkness when chaos broke out. Sirius wasn’t quite sure how it happened, everyone was in good spirits, but then the scent of blood stuck in the air like a secret, and Lily moved like a panther. On all fours and everything. She lunged across the table with an inhuman hiss. Sirius was too shocked to stop her, as was Regulus, to both of their horror, but Barty, who’d been eagerly watching James open his gift, was paying enough attention to throw out his hand.

Lily collided with him hard enough to make an echo, but luckily, Barty was strong. He wrestled her backward, Regulus and Sirius jumping into action to help him. Lily only fought them for a second, and then her face fell into one of despair, and her body went lax.

“I’m—I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” Lily whispered, a light southern accent painting her words. Barty still held her tight enough to see cracking veins down her arm. He gave Sirius a look, a question in his raised eyebrow.

Do I let her go?

Sirius shook his head just enough for Barty to see, then he angled his forehead toward the door.

Take her outside.

Sirius turned to look at James, who was unharmed, the partially wrapped gift still cradled in his hands. His mouth was hanging open, his eyes blown wide like an animal freezing when a predator spotted them. Sirius glanced at Regulus when he felt him move. He expected to watch him rush to James’s side, to make sure he was okay, but he wasn’t looking at James at all. He was looking toward the windows where Pandora was standing only a few moments ago.

She was gone now, and after a split second, so was Regulus. He rushed from the house, leaving Sirius and James alone.

“What did I do wrong?” James whispered, his eyes wide eyes slid to Sirius’s face, and for the first time all evening, Sirius saw something on James’s face that he hadn’t seen before, something that—now that he had time to ponder it—had been there the whole time. The dread and resignation that came with grief.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Sirius said quickly. He rushed to James’s side. He didn’t touch him, he wasn’t sure that James would want to be touched in this state. “It was the blood.”

“The blood?”

Sirius pointed toward his finger, the tiny paper cut already closing. “You were wounded.”

James looked down curiously and dropped his gift in the process, lifting his hands to hold them in front of his face. “I made her react like that?”

“No,” Sirius said quickly. “No, it wasn’t your fault. It didn’t affect any of the rest of us. I’m not sure what made her lose control.”

James bit down hard on his bottom lip. “Regulus is always talking about losing control,” James whispered. “I’ve never seen it happen.”

Sirius sighed. He didn’t want to talk about this with James, mostly because he had no answers to give him, and he could see that James had questions. He was running into that problem a lot recently, it would seem. The inability to answer questions felt like his biggest hindrance right now.

“Regulus doesn’t lose control very often,” Sirius said quietly. “He used to, when he was younger, but even then he was more controlled than most young vampires.”

James glanced at him. “What was he like back then?”

“When he was young?” Sirius asked.

James nodded uncertainly. Sirius snickered.

“Fussy,” Sirius whispered.

James laughed. It was a relief to here. James didn’t look like the type of man who should ever be sad. He was too kind, too jovial. The way grief clung to him felt unnatural. He wasn’t meant to feel such emotions.

“Can I ask you a question?” James whispered.

“Sure.”

“And you promise you’ll answer?”

Sirius nearly laughed again. “Sure,” he said again, dragging out the word this time.

“Why won’t he change me?”

Sirius wanted to tip his head back and groan, long and loud, frustration from a thousand setting suns driving him mad. Instead, he shook his head and gave James a sad smile.

“I’m not sure I’m the right one to tell you that,” he said.

James frowned. “But you promised you’d answer,” James said childishly.

Sirius chuckled softly. “You’re right,” Sirius agreed. He looked away, thoughtful as he inspected the place Barty had been holding Lily just a bit ago. “I suppose it’s difficult for him, being a vampire. Half of us understand—Evan, Regulus, even Barty in his dark moments. It’s hard for us, to be changed while dying. It makes the transformation harder, and it sticks around, those feelings of death. Regulus was nearly crossed over when Alphard saved him. He was already drawing his last breath. That sort of thing, it lingers.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” James confessed.

“I know,” Sirius said with a sigh. “It’s hard to explain, mostly because I’ve never experienced it, but I think Regulus worries that you’ll suffer if he changes you. He’s afraid that you’ll regret it and do something drastic.”

James tilted his head. “Would you change me then? Since you don’t have the same hang-ups.”

Nice try, Sirius thought. He smirked. “Maybe,” he admitted, completely by accident. He’d meant to say no. James brightened. “But only if Regulus agreed. I couldn’t go behind his back. Not right now. He cares for you too much, it would break him.”

“Yeah, I guess,” James muttered.

Sirius gave him a questioning look, and James shrugged.

“If he cares so much, then why did he leave?” He gestured around the empty room.

“Ah, well,” Sirius said, cringing slightly. “I think he might be trying to kill Pandora.”

“You think she saw this happen?” James whispered conspiratorially. Sirius’s mind drifted unbidden to the smirk she wore after he entered the hospital.

“I think she knows a great deal more than she’s willing to give away.”

Chapter Text

James had to wait a full hour before Regulus came back. He wasn’t sure where he went, but Sirius had mumbled something about Pandora when James asked, so he assumed he’d followed her. Why? That he didn’t know, though he wondered if it had something to do with Pandora being able to see the future. Did she know that her partner was going to try and attack him?

Lily snapping her teeth right in front of his eyes was enough to make his heart stop. He’d been unable to move an inch, caught in her trap. He wasn’t angry with her, though. There was something on Sirius’s face like he wanted to make sure James wasn’t blaming Lily for losing control, but James didn’t know how to tell him that he would never do that. He knew Lily cared about him, she’d proven that over the last year, he knew she wouldn’t have attacked him if she’d had another choice.

Still, the sound of her teeth was haunting him a bit when Regulus came striding back into the house.

“Come, I’ll take you home,” Regulus said, his voice devoid of emotion. There was a tear in his shirt, right under the armpit, but he didn’t say anything about it, so James didn’t either. He wouldn’t usually stop himself from asking, but the words felt caught in his throat now.

The car ride back was icy, and when they pulled into James’s driveway, his palms were clammy. Regulus was staring straight ahead, right through the front windshield. His eyes looked dark and distracted, the gold mixing with his grey earlier was faded now, dulled into a storm cloud that made his eyes look black.

James opened his mouth, he wanted to say something, to apologize maybe, for making Lily attack him like that, but he couldn’t get any of his words to leave his body. It was like they were stacking up, right inside his throat, keeping any relief from escaping him.

“I need to get back,” Regulus said finally. His voice made him sound dead. James wanted to shake him or kneel down and beg for forgiveness. He wasn’t used to this twist of guilt forming in his gut. His guilt never lingered like this. He wasn’t perfect; he’d made mistakes, but he would always apologize and move on after them.

This time felt different, like apologizing wouldn’t be enough.

“You should go inside,” Regulus said when James didn’t reply. Anger mixed with the guilt into a boiling pot of bile. He swallowed painfully. It didn’t help.

“Fine,” he muttered. He slammed out of the car with more force than necessary and didn’t wait to hear if Regulus would correct his behavior. His father wasn’t in the living room, thankfully, it had become a problem for the last few months, so he was able to sneak through the house up to his bedroom without disturbing anyone.

He showered, because the anger was still itching under his skin and the guilt felt too frustrating to ignore. The water was scalding as it cascaded over his skin, the burn felt like absolution, but only up until the moment he stepped out into the cold bathroom. Goosebumps spread over his skin, and his stomach twisted again. The alcohol from earlier made him feel sick.

He didn’t bother dressing for bed before throwing himself onto the mattress. Tears started to form at the corners of his eyes, so he squeezed them closed to keep them from falling. He wouldn’t cry over this, not over something like Regulus changing how affectionate he was being all night. That was stupid. And he wasn’t going to cry over the Lily thing, because he knew she didn’t mean it. Although she hadn’t come to tell him that herself. Maybe she couldn’t trust herself to come back. Maybe she was embarrassed.

The guilt grew. James turned over in the bed and pressed his face into the pillow. It was his birthday—or it was the day after, since it was so late—and he did not want it to end like this. Regulus was supposed to come back up with him, he was supposed to take his sweet time taking James apart. James was going to ask him to—well, it hardly mattered now because Regulus had to get back.

He barely slept, and when he woke up, he was far angrier than he was guilty.

He spent the following day in bed, as he’d planned to originally, only now he was wallowing and fuming a bit. Stupidly, he kept thinking Regulus would call, but he never did. By that evening, James’s thoughts were racing. They kept flopping back and forth between anger and guilt. He hadn’t meant for Lily to act that way; he hadn’t done anything on purpose. Regulus couldn’t be this angry with him.

Was Lily the one who was angry? Surely she would just talk to him. Why hadn’t she called either? Why hadn’t Sirius? Did none of them give a shit about him?

By the next morning, both the guilt and the anger had turned into full-blown sadness. James did not do well when he was sad. Not that anyone did exceptionally great when they were sad. But James just couldn’t function at all. In the months after his mother died, he’d become so much of a shell that his New York friends were sure he was going to kill himself. It was dire.

“James? Do you want to come down for breakfast?” his dad asked through the door. They’d only seen each other once the day before because James was careful to avoid him. He didn’t feel like talking about what happened. He didn’t know if his father would notice that he was feeling down, he wasn’t the most observant man, but if he did happen to notice, James didn’t want to have to explain that he and Regulus were in a fight.

Or he guessed they were in a fight. He didn’t actually know since neither of them had called the other.

But it had been James’s birthday, so he wasn’t going to be the one to call. Definitely not.

On the third day, James thought he would go insane. He had school tomorrow, and he wasn’t looking forward to seeing all his friends on campus after his party had had such a terrible end. None of them would know, they’d all left by then, but James would know, and that would make things terrible. Unbearable, really.

By the time the sun was setting, James was heavily considering getting in his car, driving over to Regulus’s house, and demanding what the hell his problem was.

“James!” Fleamont called from the bottom of the stairs. “Come down here!”

“I’m busy, Dad!” James called back. He rolled his eyes when he heard Fleamont climbing the stairs. He knocked at the door, but only once, and then he opened it without waiting for James to answer. “Regulus is here to see you.”

Every muscle in James’s body tensed. “Oh, I’m—” He didn’t bother finishing the sentence, he pushed passed his dad gently and descended the stairs. He was careful not to run down them, he didn’t want to seem too eager, but he moved quicker than he typically would. Regulus stood outside the door, his hands hanging limply by his sides.

He didn’t smile when he saw James. James didn’t smile either. His anger was back. At least the guilt was gone.

“Let’s take a walk,” Regulus said. He was wearing a button-down black shirt that made his eyes look darker than they usually were.

“You’re dressed kind of nice for a walk,” James muttered, but followed Regulus down the path toward the woods behind his house.

Regulus didn’t rise to the bait. He didn’t say anything at all for a while. Eventually, when they’d been walking for a few minutes, James stopped and refused to go any further.

“Okay, what the fuck?” James snapped. Regulus paused, then turned slowly on his heel. His eyes were dead. Black and dead. Empty. James ground his teeth together. “I didn’t mean to make Lily act that way. You can’t treat me like a child you’re trying to punish because of something that wasn’t my fault. You’re acting like an ass.”

Regulus looked miserable for a moment, but the expression was gone so fast James didn’t have time to process it. “I’m leaving,” Regulus said darkly.

James blinked. “What?”

“My family and I—”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, James, I am,” Regulus said.

James threw up his hands. “We get in one fight, and you’re leaving? That’s ridiculous!” he yelled.

“I made this decision—”

“I don’t give a shit, you’re just doing this to be petty.”

Regulus’s face flashed with anger. “I’m not,” he snarled, cutting himself off with a sharp hiss. “The night of your birthday—”

“It was a fucking accident, you dickhead,” James snapped. “I didn’t mean to.”

“You could have been killed!”

“Well, I wasn’t, and it’s frankly rude of you to ignore me just because I almost died.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t ignoring you, I was packing.”

“You’re not leaving.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then I’m coming with you,” James said.

“No, you’re not,” Regulus growled.

James took a step forward. “Yes! I am!” he said.

“No, James, I don’t want you to come,” Regulus snapped.

The words hit James like ice being plunged through his heart. His breath stuck halfway through his lungs. Regulus froze too, but he didn’t look regretful or like he’d said the words by accident, he looked angry and resigned.

“What?” James whispered.

“I don’t want you to come with me,” Regulus said, his voice dead again. It didn’t really matter much, though, did it?

“You don’t want me?” James breathed.

Something crossed Regulus’s face, a shadow he couldn’t trace, he didn’t bother following it down the trail it was leading. He let the shadow pass and was left with the empty expression of Regulus. His boyfriend, the man he was in love with. He didn’t want him. Regulus didn’t want him. But James had only ever wanted Regulus, he’d never wanted anyone like he wanted Regulus.

Regulus had lived a lot longer than James, there had likely been tons of people before James, and there would be many after, it seemed. He thought he would be the last one. He thought he mattered the most.

“You don’t want me,” he said. It wasn’t a question this time. He felt like his chest of caving in on itself.

Regulus took a step forward, and for a second, it looked like he was going to reach out and grab James’s hand, but he didn’t. His hands stayed by his sides.

“Just promise me something,” Regulus said. James couldn’t look at his face, his eyes hurt like he’d been swimming all day and had finally given them time to rest.

“What?” he said. His tongue felt numb, he didn’t know how he moved it.

“Promise me you’ll stay safe. Don’t take any unnecessary risks. You have to keep yourself alive.”

“Why?” James asked distantly.

“Just promise me,” Regulus said quietly.

“Whatever you want,” James said. He couldn’t tell if it was a lie or not. He couldn’t tell anything.

Regulus made an aborted noise, as if he was about to say something, perhaps promise something in return. He didn’t though, instead, he leaned forward and, as light as the rain on the first spring day, kissed James on the temple.

“Goodbye, James,” he said.

James blinked, and he was gone. He blinked again and again, but Regulus did not reappear. It was only one fight, he thought desperately. It was just one fight. They’d barely even argued before, only over petty things; this wasn’t even that much of an argument. It was barely anything.

“Wait,” James gasped. He reached forward, as if he could feel the smoke left behind from Regulus’s quick escape. He took a stumbling step forward, then another, then another. He walked, because Regulus had to know that this wasn’t a relationship-ending argument. It was barely anything. It didn’t have to be the end. He could convince him, if only he could find him.

His body grew numb, and the forest grew dark, and soon the trees weren’t anything but a blur in the shadows. And when his legs could no longer lift properly, his toe snagged on a stray root, and he tumbled forward, straight into the dirt, face first. He turned on his side, because he was exhausted, and his body was numb, and nothing seemed to matter all that much. He let the earth cradle him for a bit, and he let the shadows swallow up his vision, and when a set of glowing eyes appeared in the darkness, he hoped they would mean his death. If only to keep himself from moving.

Chapter Text

Remus had to shove his shoulder against James’s bedroom door in order to get inside his bedroom. There were bags propped up against it. Remus didn’t know what they were full of, but the room had an odd smell, so he decided not to ask.

He’d been coming over once a week or so for months now, but last night Fleamont came to visit for dinner and didn’t bring James along. Remus had almost been too afraid to know why, but halfway through eating, Fleamont quietly said that he was thinking of sending him off somewhere.

“I can’t take care of him on my own, and he’s not getting any better,” Fleamont told them, a flush of shame over his aging face. Lyall gave Remus a hard look, as if it was Remus’s fault James was depressed. He gave him a hard look back, though he already knew he’d be heading over there first thing in the morning.

It was summer vacation for James, so he didn’t have classes. Fleamont had said he managed to finish out the semester, but Remus had no idea how that was even possible. Not with the way James was acting. Somehow, he’d maintained his job at the Longbottom’s place, but that shop was never all that busy. He’d gone to visit James at work once and had found him slowly folding and re-folding a pair of pants.

Fleamont let him in when Remus arrived that morning before shuffling out the back door. Remus barely acknowledged him, climbing the stairs two at a time and bursting into James’s room with all the physical strength he could muster.

Well, perhaps not that much. He felt stronger these days, and he wasn’t sure he liked the itch of it under his skin. He’d been doing a very good job of ignoring it, actually.

“James?” Remus said. James didn’t respond. He rarely did. “James, are you awake?” He inspected the bed first, but the pile of clothes and blankets looked unchanged from the last time he was in here. He’d been suspecting for a while now that James had been sleeping on the floor, and this just seemed to confirm it.

He stepped around the bed, calling James’s name again, and found a small pillow against the wall. Was he even using it? Was he passing out on the hardwood of his bedroom floor every single night? Remus shivered, the hatred that had been boiling in his stomach since he saw James in that hospital bed only bubbled up more and more.

Remus turned to take in the rest of the room. The desk was covered in loose papers, James’s laptop buried under the mess. Remus eyed them curiously. It looked like James was working on something, but then again, it could have just been a buildup of trash.

On top of the pile was a decorative card with a shine to it, like it was made out of pearl, golden curly letters etched into the front announced the upcoming wedding of Frank Longbottom and Alice Fortescue. They were friends of James’s from his school. Remus had only met them a few times, but he liked them more than most of the other freaks James had mentioned.

He huffed, about to give up on his search for James—at least for an hour or two—when he heard a quiet creak. He looked toward the window quickly, just in time to see James move forward slightly and settle back into an old wooden chair. He was curled down in it, the tall back of it blocking him completely from the rest of the room.

“James,” Remus sighed, stepping forward to get a good look at his friend. He knew what he looked like, he’d been visiting him all summer, but still felt shocked seeing his vacant eyes. He’d lost weight, Remus didn’t know that he ever ate, and his face was taking on a gaunt quality. His glasses were smudged and tilted over his nose, his eyes sunken into his face behind them.

His arms and chest, once well-toned with muscles, looked thin even through the sweater James was wearing. It was the middle of summer, and though Godric’s Hollow didn’t get exceptionally hot, it was still far too warm for James to be wearing a sweater. Even now, just standing in James’s bedroom, Remus could feel the hints of sweat against the back of his neck.

Remus sighed again and knelt before the chair. He and James were almost at eye level, given the way James was slumped over. James didn’t even acknowledge his presence. Remus supposed that he should just be happy that James was breathing and perhaps that he wasn’t actively drooling.

“James,” Remus said. “We’re going out.”

James didn’t respond for a long moment. Slowly, like the motions of a man long dead, his eyes slid away from the window to Remus’s face. “Remus,” he said. It wasn’t a question, or even a greeting, just a word that seemed to mean nothing in the labyrinth of James’s head.

“You’re going to go shower and get dressed, and then you and I are going out.”

James’s eyebrows furrowed, a frown pulling at his lips. “Go out where?”

“James, for the love of fucking God, please just do it.”

“I don’t feel so good,” James said, his voice taking on a false air, like he was working at a call center. “Think I’ll sit this one out.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Remus said. He sounded like a disappointed father. “You are getting out of this house whether you like it or not.”

He thought about threatening James with the things James’s father had said, that he would be sent away or hospitalized, but he ultimately decided against it. He couldn’t imagine that that would be all that helpful in this situation. He doubted James would even care. He did wonder if maybe it was the right option. During that first month, Remus had taken turns with Fleamont and Lyall sitting near James’s room, listening in incase he decided to do something rash. It hadn’t been a very festive Spring, and now summer was half over, and it felt like it was going to end the same way it started.

“If you don’t get up, I’m going to be forced to shower with you, and I’m warning you now, I’m a real hot water hog. You’re going to hate it,” Remus said. He was trying to joke, but his heart wasn’t in it, the words came out sounding like empty vessels.

James’s frown deepened. “I don’t feel so good, Remus,” James said.

Remus wanted to hit something. His stomach twisted in rage and grief.

He could still remember the night the news broke on the reservation that the vet and his family were leaving. Remus hadn’t been anything but a selfish, stupid kid when he heard it. He’d gone to a bonfire with Marlene and Dorcas, got tipsy off too many beers, and spent the night laughing loudly with his friends. He’d been happy about them leaving, not because he gave a shit about the silly legend the elders were pushing but because he was pleased that the people who’d put James in the hospital wouldn’t be around anymore.

He wouldn’t have to see that asshole with the long black hair ever again.

Idiot. He was a fucking idiot. He’d known how James felt about Regulus, they’d been together for over a year, but he’d expected it to be like a normal breakup. Shitty, but manageable. He hadn’t expected to be forced to watch his friend deteriorate like this. It was like someone had ripped out a handful of James’s organs, grinding them beneath the heel of their boot before trying to reinstall them.

It was pretty damn close to torture.

“I know,” Remus said quietly. “I know you don’t, but I promise we’re going to fix this. It starts with you getting out of this chair and getting into the shower.”

“None of my clothes are clean,” James said.

“I’ll find something.”

It took twenty minutes to get James out of that stupid chair—Remus considered burning it, burning anything, if only to put his anger somewhere other than inside him—but eventually he stumbled into the bathroom. Remus didn’t breathe until he heard the water turn on, this his shoulders dropped and he set to work sorting through James’s clothes.

He wasn’t kidding when he said none of them were clean; he struggled to find anything that didn’t smell like mildew. He ultimately settled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that he sprayed with a bottle of Febreze he found in the hallway closet.

It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do.

Frankly, he had to do something more than just wait around for James to get better. At this rate, it was never going to happen. James was drowning, and despite his best efforts, Remus hadn’t been helping him enough.

Briefly, he considered calling Marlene and Dorcas to come over and help him, they’d been asking about James all summer, but he couldn’t bring himself to subject James to that. He’d bring James to Marlene and Dorcas when he was in a slightly better state.

James came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Remus very carefully ignored looking at his chest, unwilling to see the way he’d lost weight, and instead focused on shoving the clothes he’d found into James’s hands. He hadn’t shaved, a layer of scruff curled over his face, making him look much older than he was, but Remus didn’t comment on it.

Getting James into the truck was easier than getting him into the shower. Remus guessed it was because he was already on his feet. He put on the radio as they pulled out onto the highway, and Remus expected James to ask where they were going, but he never did, not once.

Remus hadn’t been sure at first, but he’d ultimately decided to take James out to Hogsmeade. It would get him away from the prying eyes of Godric’s Hollow, but it wasn’t so far that they couldn’t get home if something bad happened.

He pulled into the parking lot of one of Dorcas’s favorite restaurants just a few minutes after eleven. It was still early, but he knew the place, an old diner built in the early sixties, would already be serving lunch.

“Smells nice,” James said blandly as they walked to a table in the back, led by a waitress so short Remus could look straight ahead and never see her.

“Are you hungry?” Remus asked. He tried to bury the hope, but given the way James winced, he didn’t think he’d done a good job.

“Not really,” James said. At least he was being honest.

“Well, just eat what you can. We’re going to be out for a while.”

“Why?” James asked curiously.

Remus took a very deep breath and said something he knew was cruel. “Because you’re a sinking ship.”

James didn’t look hurt, but Remus could see the way he seemed to close in on himself.

“I can’t watch you drown like this, not anymore, so we’re going to go out every single day until you start feeling better.”

“I don’t want to go out every day,” James said.

“I know,” Remus said, “but you’re going to do it anyway.”

A tiny—blink and you miss it—spark twinkled in James’s eye. “You’re very pushy,” he complained.

“I’ve been told by almost everyone in my life that I’m actually too laid back, so I know you’re lying. You’re welcome to complain, though, if it makes you feel better.” Remus would love to hear James complain, at least that would mean that James was alive. “What are you going to order?”

James slowly lowered his head until he was looking down at the plastic menu open on the table in front of him. “Maybe a burger,” he said.

“Great,” Remus said.

It was a stilted and quiet lunch, but James ate more than half of his burger, so Remus counted it as a success. When they were done, Remus drove them to the center of town and demanded that James help him shop for gifts for Marlene.

“It’s her birthday in a few weeks, and I’ve never been good at gift giving.”

“You should get her a private chef,” James said dryly. Remus laughed, a bit shocked by the statement.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Remus said.

James’s smile, just a small quirk of his lips. He looked pleased with himself. “I’ve never met anyone who likes food as much as she does.”

“I know,” Remus said. “Do you know she once talked about butter she’d purchased from these weird Amish people for like two straight hours? I didn’t even realize people could have that many opinions about butter.”

“Butter is a very tantalizing subject,” James said.

He was talking more and more as they wandered through town, Remus ultimately settling on getting Marlene a gift card to a place in town that sold fancy cheeses. The sun was peaking out of the clouds, so for a while they walked down near the water, mostly in silence, but periodically talking about their friends.

“Are you going to go to Frank’s wedding?” Remus asked. He didn’t know if this would be one of those dark topics that made James close up, but he couldn’t deny he was curious.

“I don’t want to,” James said, his voice steady in his blunt honesty. “I’m not sure I want to watch two people…” he swallowed, seemingly unable to finish speaking. “But I probably will, be kind of rude not to.”

Remus frowned. “I’m sorry,” he said.

James didn’t look at him. “I know,” he replied.

It wasn’t the cleanest afternoon, but James spent the day out of his messy bedroom and away from that window. He wondered if Fleamont would be home waiting for an update whenever they eventually made it back to Godric’s Hollow. Remus could always take James to his house, maybe he would actually sleep on a bed instead of on the floor. As the sun began to set, James began to slow pretty significantly. Remus could tell he was trying to hide it, but he wasn’t doing a very good job.

“Let’s eat before we head back,” Remus said.

“We just ate,” James said. “Are you about to tell me bad news or something?”

“What?”

“My mom used to take me out to expensive lunches when she wanted to tell me bad news. I feel like I’m a dog having one last good day.”

Remus couldn’t help it—he laughed. “Are you having a good day?”

James glanced over at him. “It’s not bad,” he said. “It could be worse. Why did you drag me out of the house?”

“I just wanted to, okay?” Remus said. James clearly didn’t believe him, but he didn’t push any further. Remus wondered if he was afraid to. “Come on, I know a bar nearby.”

He’d meant to take James there to eat again. It wasn’t like there was much going on in town, and it wasn’t all that late, so he hadn’t expected any excitement. He ordered both of them beers, though he worried that James might not react well to alcohol. He hadn’t seen James drink much in the last few months, not since before Regulus left, but James wasn’t exactly mentally stable either, was he?

James sipped the beer slowly, his eyes going dazed as he stared at the silent TVs playing a baseball game. Two men down the bar from them were watching the same game avidly, one of them tapping his leg nervously. They’d probably bet money on it. Remus could see a tense desperation in both of their eyes. James didn’t appear to notice them, not until Remus decided to go to the bathroom.

They were on their second round, James finishing his beer just a few sips after it had gone stale, and they’d eaten their way through a plate of nachos, when Remus patted James on the back and slid off the stool. The bar had started to fill up, Remus realized, a few groups now lingering around the round tables.

It still wasn’t packed, but it was a little more lively. He wondered if he could convince James to stay out a bit longer if he was clever enough. Maybe getting him drunk wasn’t the healthiest option, but then again, maybe it would be enough to snap him out of his stupor.

When he came back from the bathroom, the bar was in chaos. Several people were yelling, including both of the bartenders. Remus lunged forward, trying to figure out what was happening, when he spotted James get punched directly in the face by one of the men who’d bet on the baseball game.

Remus could swear he heard the sound of James’s glasses snapping from across the bar. One of the bartenders threw himself over the bar and started pushing himself between James and the other man. Remus didn’t know how to help. He’d never been in a fight before, especially not a bar fight.

When he saw James try and hit the other man, lurching around the bartender now firmly between them, Remus jumped into action, grabbing James around the middle and dragging him backward.

“Get him the fuck out of here!” one of the bartenders yelled. Remus didn’t see which one it was, but he didn’t stop to check.

“Let me go!” James snapped, fighting Remus as hard as he could to get back into the bar as Remus dragged him out onto the street. He’d expected James to be stronger, but he felt weak.

“No, what the hell is wrong with you?” Remus asked.

“Let me go,” James said again, this time it sounded like a plea. Remus didn’t think he’d ever heard James sound so desperate.

“Get a grip,” Remus replied, unmoved by James’s desires. James went slack in his arms, and Remus finally released him, staying close enough that if James made a move toward the bar, he could stop him. James just slumped against the wall, his head hanging low. “What happened?”

James wouldn’t look at him. “Nothing,” he said. “He started it.”

“Did he?” Remus asked incredulously. “That bartender seemed to think it was your doing.”

James’s eyes lifted slowly, and he looked so off that Remus felt like he could barely see the man he’d become friends with. Remus blinked, and James was back to normal—or as normal as he’d looked in the last few months.

“I just wanted to feel something,” James said.

Remus shook his head in disappointment. “I’m not explaining this to your father.” Anger sat in his passenger seat as he drove James home, James leaning his head against the window, staring blankly out into the dark night.

When they pulled into the driveway, he fought the urge to toss James onto the front steps and drive away. He sighed in frustration when James opened the door. He couldn’t just leave him. He shut off the truck and followed James into the house. Fleamont was snoring on the couch, so Remus and James headed upstairs.

James headed toward his chair by the window, and Remus didn’t stop him. Instead, he went to the bed and grabbed the pile of clothes, dropping half on the floor and dragging the rest downstairs to James’s washing machine.

“You’ll have to go to a professional to fix your glasses,” Remus said when he came back up.

“They’re not that bad,” James said blandly. They were barely staying on James’s face, and one of the lenses was cracked straight down the middle.

Remus put his hands on his hips and stared at the bed. He wondered if James would sleep in it now that it was empty of dirty clothes. He could only hope.

“I’ll be back in the morning.”

Chapter Text

The thing about getting better was that it took time. The other thing about getting better was that sometimes it happened when no one was looking.

Remus had been bugging James nonstop. Both Fleamont and Lyall were curious how it was going, but they’d dropped off asking for updates on James every other day and had left his well-being in Remus’s hands. He felt a little insulted by it, but he would never tell them that. He knew how men of that age were.

So Remus spent all of his free time making sure James was okay. It wasn’t all that difficult; James didn’t argue with him much, and he started getting ready on his own every time he knew Remus was coming over.

He wasn’t quite his old self, but he seemed more awake, and he was eating more, so that felt like success to Remus. Things were going well overall, easy enough.

It had been a few weeks since James's bar fight—a fight that Fleamont was carefully avoiding talking about—and there hadn't been any other incidents. Remus was tempted to say they were almost in the clear. Things were looking up.

For James, at least.

For Dorcas and Marlene, and by association, Remus, things were getting rockier.

It had all started when Marlene turned down an offer to go to school for massage therapy. That was their assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. It was a building point, something that came out of months or maybe even years of tension, but Remus considered it to be the moment things took a turn for them.

Marlene had wanted to become a massage therapist for years. She had a drive for it, and more importantly, she saw a need for it in her everyday life, especially since her father was injured at work and ended up with permanent back problems because he couldn't get access to proper care.

It was one of many stories on their reservation of people falling through the cracks, unable to keep up care for their families, and ending up with less than stellar options. They all knew it would happen to them eventually, almost none of them escaped that fate, but none of them—Remus included—knew what to do about it. If there was even anything to do about it.

Marlene, for her part, wanted to help in any way she could. She wanted to train in something that could be useful to their community. However, that kind of training, the real medical kind, was expensive, and it would involve years spent living away from the reservation before she could move back.

Remus knew better than anyone how much it was weighing on her. The thought of leaving home, leaving her family, her disabled father, and her two little sisters. It was just too much for her. She'd been mentioning it in passing to him for years.

Dorcas, he knew, was only one small piece of that puzzle. Marlene and Dorcas had been like two animals living in a tide pool, unable to escape their surroundings, yet unable to grow up and get closer.

He knew that was harsh, but to his credit, he'd been watching them act like children since they were children, and he was very much growing tired of it.

So when Marlene got into the school she wanted and ended up backed into a corner, unable to leave, she decided to defer her enrollment. And Dorcas, who'd been in a state of anticipatory grief since before she herself had moved away, reacted like a pot of boiling water spilling over the sides.

Remus knew they'd fought, but he wasn't there to witness it. Neither of them would mention what had happened or what had been said, but they both started coming over separately, spending hours in his garage pretending like they didn't want to talk about the other one.

He tried not to indulge either of them. He couldn't fix this for them, nor did he want to.

Perhaps it made him a stereotypical man, but he reacted to the issue by withdrawing completely and pretending he had no idea how weird it was that they weren't spending time together. He let them talk around the topic without ever questioning them on it, refusing to dig any deeper for them.

If they were going to fix the hurt feelings between them—hurt feelings that could almost certainly be repaired by admitting they wanted to be together—then they were going to have to woman up and do it themselves.

On the day things took another turn for James, Dorcas was sitting in his garage, half-reading a book on thru-hiking. She was humming along to the radio, her foot tapping nervously on the concrete—the only indication that she wasn't feeling as relaxed as she wanted to appear. It was sunny out, but there was still a slight smattering of rain hitting the warm pavement right outside the garage.

Remus was barely managing the humidity. He wished the bottom would just open up and the rain would fall in earnest. This heat was starting to smother him.

"Want to go down to the beach?" he asked.

Dorcas looked up slowly, her eyes dragging on the last word of the page she was pretending to read. "Now?"

Remus shrugged. "The water will be cold, but honestly, anything is better than this."

Dorcas glanced outside. She seemed bored, but her jaw was clenched tight. He wondered if she was trying not to say something, or if there was just so much on her mind that she couldn't quite hide it.

"Yeah, all right," Dorcas said. She stood, discarding her book onto her abandoned chair. Just as Remus stood to join her, he heard the sound of James's truck coming down the driveway. He'd grown very accustomed to the sound while he was building it. He was sure he could recognize it in his sleep.

Dorcas crossed her arms, leaning against the side of the garage door as they waited for James to pull up. Remus, stupidly, felt relieved. Despite the improvements James was showing, he'd yet to come over on his own or initiate any sort of interaction. Remus didn't blame him, he knew how difficult it was for James to even get out of bed.

He'd missed his friend, though, and James driving over unprompted seemed like a good thing.

All until James jumped out of the cab, his eyes light with a fire that Remus didn't like the look of. He jogged forward, his body practically vibrating with excitement.

"Remus!" he yelled, then did a double-take when he saw Dorcas, who was watching him with a bemused smirk. "Oh, hi, Dorcas," he greeted quickly before turning back to Remus. "Remus, I need your help."

Remus's eyebrow lifted. "Help with what?"

"It's a good thing!" James said too loudly. Remus highly doubted that. "Have you ever worked on motorcycles?"

Here we go, Remus thought with a frown. Dorcas turned slightly to give him a panicked look, but Remus could only shake his head. He needed to stop getting talked into things. Then again, he had always wanted to work on a motorcycle.

It probably wasn't healthy, but Remus was tired of trying to make the best choice possible. And anyway, James seemed awake, truly awake for the first time in a long while, so Remus unloaded the bikes from the bed of the truck, pretending to struggle as the newfound strength in his arms reminded him of his unease, and rolled them into his garage, promising to work on them.

There was another benefit to this insane plan from James, and that was that it gave Remus a reason to demand James come visit him without sounding like an empty nester. James agreed enthusiastically, promising to help Remus acquire parts for the bikes—which looked about a step away from being demolished—and to keep him company while Remus painstakingly worked on them.

Dorcas was very obviously laughing at both of them, though she was nice enough to try and hide it.

They did end up going down to the beach that day, all three of them, and when they got back to the house—exhausted and sweaty—Dorcas helped Lyall cook dinner, and the four of them ate together. By the time James left to go back to his house, he looked healthier than he had all year.

So Remus didn't regret agreeing to helping with the bikes, even if Dorcas clearly thought he was insane.

He didn't tell his father or Fleamont about the bikes either. They were safer not knowing, and Remus highly doubted that Fleamont would be all that happy to hear about James's dangerous new interest.

Remus was pretty sure he wasn't going to die riding the bike, if he ever managed to get them up and running, so what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Why are you suddenly interested in motorcycles anyway?" Remus asked him a few days after James brought them over. They were both about four beers deep—not the best environment for doing mechanical work—and James was pacing between the sun bearing down outside and the awning cover of the garage.

"They just seemed fun and someone was giving them away for free," James said with a dismissive shrug.

“I don’t think they were giving them away,” Remus said with a laugh. “They were meant for a junkyard.”

“Well, it makes no difference to me,” James replied with a small smile. “They ended up in my hands, and I happened to know a very skilled mechanic, so it all worked out.”

Remus snorted. “Very skilled, huh? You trying to get in my pants or something?”

James laughed heartily, his cheeks turning pink. “You wish.”

The more time James spent with Remus in his garage, the lighter he seemed, but there were stark changes that Remus couldn’t help but notice. He never spoke about Regulus or any member of his family; if the conversation even drifted toward that topic, James’s shoulders would curl in like he was trying to shield himself.

James wouldn’t even talk about that year—not his classes, not his friends, not even his father. He wouldn’t talk about almost anything of substance.

It didn’t take long for Remus to realize that James preferred to talk about Remus’s life rather than his own. It was like he didn’t want to remember that he existed, that his pain was real and tangible.

Remus let him avoid all the subjects he wanted to. He’d lived through pain, too, and he knew how hard it was to confront it. In some ways, he identified with the pain James was living with. Not the romantic heartbreak so much, Remus hadn’t experienced anything like that, but he’d experienced grief. He still lived with it, though he’d locked it behind a door inside him and refused to look at it too closely for the last few years.

Mostly, they talked about stupid things like which one of the regulars at the diner was secretly sleeping with someone else in Godric’s Hollow, or when they thought Marlene and Dorcas would finally get married and put them all out of their misery.

The one benefit to the colliding relationship issues from James’s life and Marlene and Dorcas’s mess was that James was the perfect friend to both girls. Dorcas acted like the bikes were stupid, but Remus could see her eyeing the red one every single time she came over, a spark of interest on her face.

Marlene openly adored them, and James for bringing them over.

“Yes! Hell yes, James!” she shouted when she found out, lifting her hands in fists over her head, her cropped shirt pulling up to reveal the underside of both of her boobs.

“Are you trying to flash us?” Remus asked good-naturedly.

“So what if I am?” Marlene snarked. James had his eyes averted, staring at the garage floor, but he was laughing slightly. “I knew there was a reason I liked you, James.”

“Because I brought broken bikes to Remus’s house?” James asked, flicking his eyes up nervously and then looking at her fully when he saw her arms were lowered. She’d cut the sleeves off of her cropped t-shirt, and Remus could see the muscles in her arms flex with each movement. She’d always been athletic, playing volleyball and soccer in school, but she’d been working out to excess since she and Dorcas stopped talking.

“Yes!” she shouted. “I knew you were the irresponsible one.”

James snickered.

The hot and humid summer days bore down on them as they continued to spend their time in the garage. Remus practically lived there, spending all his time either working on the bikes for James or repairing cars brought to him by locals. Cars often had issues during the summer, and he was building a bit of a reputation for fixing things quickly and inexpensively. He didn’t have much competition, given that the only mechanic nearby lived in Godric’s Hollow and charged double what Remus charged.

Every day after breakfast, Remus would head out to the garage and start work before the heat got to be too much. Lyall said he was becoming a workaholic, but Remus liked his work, it was like a puzzle, and besides, he was good at it. Most importantly, the moment Remus was in the garage, a tool in his hand and a task laid out in front of him, he didn’t have anymore room in his head to worry about things. Not James’s mental health, or Marlene and Dorcas’s stalemate, or the building tension in his bones.

“Morning, Remus,” Marlene said one Thursday.

He’d gone to the beach with Dorcas the day before, and Remus, a child of divorce, had been handed off to the Marlene. She came early on days she wasn’t working. Today, she brought a plastic pitcher full of iced coffee and two breakfast sandwiches. Remus accepted one even though he’d just eaten before walking out to the garage. His stomach growled as the scent of bacon hit his nostrils.

“Where’s the flood?” she asked.

“Huh?” he asked, taking a bite of the sandwich without pausing to drop the tool he was holding in his other hand. He was so hungry all the time lately, it was like his stomach was trying to eat itself. Marlene shook her head in open disgust, then pointed at his ankles.

Remus looked down to see his jeans pulling halfway up his shins. That was another thing he was trying to ignore. He was a bit old for a growth spurt, but lately his pant legs had been getting shorter and shorter. They must have been shrinking in the wash.

“I need to replace these,” Remus said dismissively.

Marlene’s eyebrows furrowed for a second, then she said, “When is James coming over?”

Remus took another two bites of the sandwich. It was delicious, each piece of toast layered with a spicy sauce he’d never had before. “He works till six on Thursdays. He’ll probably come over right after.”

“Tell him to bring dinner,” Marlene said, slinking into a chair and kicking out a stool from below one of the benches against the wall. She placed her beat-up boots on the top of the bench and flicked her grown-out blonde hair over the back of the chair. “If I have to eat one more meal cooked by you or your father, I’m gonna hurl.”

Remus gave her a look that Marlene failed to see as her eyes slid closed. “You could always eat at your own house.”

“Mel’s gone vegan again, so she’s been cooking these tasteless blocks for two weeks.” Mel, or Melody, was Marlene’s youngest sister, barely sixteen and obsessed with changing every detail about herself every other week.

“You can’t make anything else while she’s vegan?”

“I can,” Marlene said emphatically, “but then she glares at me over her bowl of overcooked oatmeal like I’m murdering a kitten in the kitchen. Hence, why I brought breakfast here.” She peeked open one eye. “Though if I had known how hungry you would be, I would have brought more.”

Remus finished off his breakfast sandwich in one large bite. “I’m a growing boy,” he said jokingly and then frowned.

Marlene shook her head, letting her eye fall closed. “Meadow is going to look at colleges tomorrow,” she said.

“Really?” Remus asked, already back to tinkering on Mrs. Figg’s old Buick. It was a bit of a lemon and it barely ran these days, but Mrs. Figg refused to get rid of it because it belonged to her late husband. “I thought she’d already decided to stay close next year?” Meadow was freshly seventeen, about to start her senior year of high school.

Marlene shrugged, a line forming between her eyebrows. “I guess I inspired her to get away from the rest,” Marlene said. Her voice was light, but it sounded forced. Remus winced.

“Where is she looking?”

“California, mostly,” Marlene said. “There is one in Oregon, that’s not too far, but she’s set on going to L.A., I have no idea why.”

“I thought she wanted to study Psychology? She needs to be in L.A. for that?”

Marlene shrugged again, the muscles in her face growing tight. “Who knows?” she said.

“Who is going with her?” Remus asked.

“Just Mom, Dad hates traveling.”

“Is Mel going?”

“Fuck no,” Marlene said with a laugh. “Those two would end up fist-fighting if they had to travel that far together.” Remus laughed along with her. Mel and Meadow were very close in age, about fourteen months apart, and they went through phases of being excessively close and hating each other. Marlene said it was a sister thing, that Remus wouldn’t understand. Remus had never pretended to understand teenage girls anyway.

“What are you going to do today?” Remus asked when they fell into silence.

“Thought I’d just hang here.”

“All day?” Remus asked.

Marlene turned her head like she was looking at him, but she didn’t open her eyes. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Remus shook his head even though Marlene couldn’t see him. “Just figured you had other people to bother.”

“Not anymore,” she said.

That seemed to effectively end their conversation, and they fell into a companionable silence for the next few hours, Marlene turning on the radio at one point and the two of them drinking the coffee she’d brought. At one point, Marlene got up to take a run, coming back two hours later drenched in sweat, and walking straight into Remus’s house to use his shower.

He was used to it. Since they were kids, Marlene and Dorcas had used his house as a second home.

When James came by, he was on the phone with someone.

“I don’t mind doing that,” he was saying, a deep frown on his lips. “Just send me all the information and I’ll get it done.”

“Who was that?” Marlene asked when James hung up the phone, tossing it into one of the empty chairs.

“Nosey,” James chided, then added, “It was Frank. He needs me to pick up some stuff for his wedding.”

“When is it?”

“A month,” James replied. He looked unhappy, but it was clear he was trying to fight it, as if he could force himself to feel anything else. “Want to go to Hogsmeade with me?” 

Memories of their last trip to Hogsmeade flashed through his head, but before he could answer, Marlene spoke.

“Yes, right now?”

Remus didn’t even notice that James wasn’t looking at him when he’d asked it.

James chuckled. “No, not right now,” he said. “This weekend maybe.”

“Yes,” Marlene said. “I want to go. Remus, are you going to go?” Remus looked at her hopeful face, then his eyes went to James, who was wearing an expression like he was bracing himself for rejection. Remus nearly rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I’ll go,” he said. “But you’re driving.”

James looked relieved as he agreed readily.

“Now,” Marlene said, “what did you bring me?” She was staring at the brown bag of food James was carrying. James grinned.

“I thought I would cook dinner tonight,” he said.

“Oooh, fancy,” Marlene said. Both she and James fell into a fit of giggles, and though Remus shook his head and grumbled ‘children’ under his breath, he couldn’t help smiling along.

A few minutes before they were going to head in to make dinner, Dorcas pulled up. She’d been over the day before, so Remus hadn’t been expecting her, but the moment he saw her, he froze mid-sentence. He couldn’t even recall what he’d been talking about before she showed up.

She stepped out of her car and took a few steps toward them before she noticed Marlene sitting next to James. No one spoke for a long moment. It was James who broke the tension.

“Hey, Dorcas,” he said. “Are you here for dinner?”

Dorcas’s eyes lingered on Marlene as she answered. “I can go,” she said.

James opened his mouth to respond, but Marlene beat him to it. “No, it’s okay,” Marlene said. “James was about to cook for us.” She swallowed heavily. “You should stay.”

Remus was more relieved than he thought was possible. He threw the tool he was holding into one of the drawers in his toolbox and then stood, brushing off his hand on the front of his too-short jeans.

“Let’s go inside then,” he said before Dorcas could refuse. James agreed instantly, but Dorcas and Marlene stared at each other for a long moment.

“Come on,” James said just to Remus. “I need your help figuring out your stove.”

Remus followed James into the house, but behind him, he could hear the beginning of a very soft, forgiving conversation.