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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

I’ve heard that exact phrase from you 7 times.

Izuku stares at the note and frowns, trying to work out the implications of your words as he examines the post-it note on his door.

This is obviously a reply to his previous note about his birthday.

Do you know his birthday already? Since when? Did someone tell you?

His eyebrows knitted themselves together as he pondered more.

What do you mean by 7 times, then?

His frown etches deeper.

And how could you know a phrase he’s only said once?

--

On the 15th of July, 6 years ago, Izuku had been hit by a quirk. Although, with the damage it did to your relationship with your former best friend, the word ‘curse’ seemed to suit it much better.

“It’s an annual occurrence. After each cycle, in this case, each year, his memory would be wiped off you.” The doctor’s words were hazy in your ten-year-old mind, but they’d reverberated off the walls of your head each time his birthday drew near.

“At the stroke of midnight marking the start of the 16th of July, your face will be erased from his consciousness. In each memory, each picture he remembers, every thought he’s ever had of you in that one-year timeframe, you will disappear.” The doctor had put it quite bluntly after your insistent “Tell me, I can handle it!”s. He’d asked your mother to leave the room and had taken you at your word, explaining the painful consequence of the quirk accident.

You had to stop the tears from watering up in your eyes.

“So Izuku doesn’t know me anymore?” You whispered, tears almost bubbling over.

“He doesn’t,” The doctor confirmed. He kneeled down, looking at you at eye level. “The man’s quirk is called Wipe. Say he puts his quirk on Person A. He gets to scan Person A’s memory and choose whoever he wants from his victim’s memories to erase every year. In Izuku’s case, he chose you.”

“Why did I get chosen?” Your voice cracked, a tear sliding down your cheek. You didn’t ask for this. You were a good friend, a good child! Izuku and you were going to U.A. together, and you were going to become heroes together so come on, this can’t happen!

“Can’t we reverse this?”

You didn’t deserve this! You wanted to protest.

The doctor smiled at you, and even though you knew you asked for this you felt like punching him in the face.

“We’ll do our best to find out,” he assured you.

--

They did not find out.

In fact, everyone around you had accepted that the entire situation was a cold trail, and that the effects of the quirk were permanent since the villain was so tight-lipped about it, and had nothing further to say on the matter.

Even you were starting to lose faith in him too.

Glance at your phone, your eyes trace the date as if it had killed your pet dog. It’s that time of the year again.

The start of every July.

It’s always a bittersweet one because it’s the time when Izuku is the most comfortable with you, while you’re left to count down the days until Izuku’s memories are wiped again.

--

Izuku catches a glance of you as he enters the gym after his morning run. You both have a silent agreement to have breakfast together every Sunday, and Izuku always knows where to find you on a Sunday morning. He smiles when he sees you on the treadmill, taking you in with a fond gaze before he calls you out like every week before.

“Hey, Starlight?”

You snap out of your thoughts at the sound of your nickname, almost falling face-first on the treadmill when the green-haired wielder of One For All decides to pop up right next to you like a Jack in the Box.

Steadying yourself, you slow down the pacing of the machine, still panting from the running and the minor heart attack. “In all that is holy, what the hell was that, ‘Zuku!” you bite back, easing yourself off the treadmill.

The teen has the audacity to crack up, laughing so innocently like he didn’t almost just give you a concussion. You’re just glad that he doesn’t flinch away from you and bow his head in apology anymore like you were both strangers.

Your face clouds over rapidly.

“I’m sorry!” Izuku chuckles, wiping his tears away. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You did though,” You point out sullenly, folding your arms. “Now spill before I give you a concussion.”

Looking wounded, the green-haired teen changes the subject. “Thought you would be expecting me. It’s Sunday,” He pointed out. “Look, I wanted to ask you what you meant by your secret this morning.” He showed you the lime green Post-it, flashing your handwriting back at you. “I don’t get it.”

“You don’t have to get it. That’s why it’s a secret,” you sidestep, reaching for your towel on a nearby bench.

The broccoli boy’s gaze trails your every move. “But I—”

“Just ask Kacchan,” You say, taking a swig at your water bottle. Your body freezes like ice.

Izuku’s eyes narrow on you.

Immediately, you start chugging water from your bottle as eager as an alcoholic discovering vodka for the first time.

You wish, because you don’t think you can do this sober.

Green eyes pin you to your spot like piercing nails.

“Did you just—”

“It was a slip of the tongue,” you explain, trying to come off as defensive as you silently grimace at your mistake. “Meant to call him Katsuki.”

Shit, shit, shit—

You’d sworn you wouldn’t mess up the explosive blond’s name in front of Izuku and yet every year, you were bound to do so. Yikes. His reaction was getting more exaggerated with every year.

“Oh,” Izuku blinks, and suddenly, the hard look in his eyes disappears in the blink of an eye. He blushes crimson, rubbing his neck sheepishly as he averts his gaze from you “Sorry. It’s just a childhood thing, you know? Whenever Kaminari calls him that, even if it’s just for fun, it just…feels wrong.”

You cringe at the word “childhood”, like his words slip tiny pins into your heart and threaten to make it bleed out. “I get it,” You respond, trying to get your smile to come out naturally. It works.

Sort of.

“Wanna head to the canteen now? I’m famished.” He offers you an apologetic, nervous smile that screams Deku, and you sigh in relief at the conversation switch up. “That sounds great. Maybe I can get you to eat something other than katsu don there. If not Lunch Rush then I’ll go to—” your mom “—Katsuki.”

“You’re very funny,” He tells you seriously, making the both of you burst out laughing.

Yeah, this feels right, you tell yourself as you sweep the feelings under the carpet that tells you otherwise. Love isn’t a word you would use lightly, and definitely not to Izuku who perceives he’s only known you for a year. There’s no point in telling him, after all.

It’s not like he’ll remember anyway.

--

Izuku’s note comes back much later that day, returned just as you had returned his. You rip the sticky note off your door and took a great, long stare at it, sighing.

I know you avoided talking about the note. I know that I shouldn’t pry, because it’s your secret to keep, but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. P.s. Sleep well. The walls are thin. I'm just next door if you need someone to talk to.

Groaning, you slam your head against your door.

He thought you were crying because you had nightmares of the war.

The only thing you could think of as you fell asleep that night was how much you would prefer that.

Chapter Text

I don’t want your birthday to come.

Izuku glares at the note that had been delivered to him right in the middle of class when he’d open up his pencil case. (He needs to find out how you’re so good at hiding notes in these places). Scrunching up his nose, he takes the blue sticky note and reads it twice over.

Something was definitely up with you. And if he was going to find out what, there was only one person to talk to.

--

“What the fuck do you want, Izuku?” Katsuki demands as Izuku stands nervously at the entrance of his doorway. “It’s 4 fucking pm, and I need to get my homework done and-”

“Can I come in, Kacchan? It’s about Starlight.” Izuku interjects, eyes looking up to meet Katsuki’s.

Everything pauses.

Starlight?

The blond studies him with judgemental crimson eyes, opening and closing his mouth as his insults die on his tongue.

What did you do this time?

“You have 5 minutes.” He says finally, moving away from the entrance to let his childhood friend in. “So start talking, nerd.”

Izuku exhales a sigh of relief as he clambers in, apologising immediately for the intrusion. “Thank you so much, Kacchan, this really means a lot—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” grouses Katsuki as he closes his door, flopping on his beanbag. “What’s up?”

Izuku stays mostly silent for a full minute, muttering to himself as he busied himself with tracing his scarred hands and tugging his shirt. Just when Katsuki felt like he was going to pop a vein, the greenette blurts out, “Did you tell Starlight my birthday?”

“Hah?” The anger evaporates at his sentence, replaced with unexpected confusion at Izuku’s words. Katsuki feels his stomach churning as the gears turn in his head, trying to work out what exactly you’d done to give Izuku that thought.

It certainly wasn’t because of him.

“Why?”

“Because her Secrets have been throwing me off these few days!” Izuku says in frustration, voice raised a little louder. “ She told me to find you for answers.”

This makes the blond slam his head against a metaphorical brick, and he makes a mental note to throttle you good before blasting you into the stratosphere to hide his murder. He’ll give you a 5-second head start if he’s feeling generous.

How dare you, have him cover for your sorry ass because you were feeling a little blue.

Putting the murderous thought aside, Katsuki raises an eyebrow and feigns ignorance perfectly. “You mean that game she came up with after the war? You mean the love notes?”

“They’re secrets, Kacchan!” Izuku insists, face searing red. “No one except for you knows my birthday, so it’s either she got hit by some telepathy quirk or you told her.”

The blond can’t help but glare in silent fury at a wall as he runs a hand down his face. Katsuki doesn’t want to lie to the One For All wielder, and even he isn’t going to compromise his values because you fucked up.

“I didn’t tell her,” Katsuki replies truthfully, crimson eyes unwavering as he runs a spikey hand through his hair. “But what I can tell you is this: Shortie’s been going through things. The war did a number on us, especially you—”

“Kacchan—”

“—But things are sensitive for Shortie around this time of the year. I know about as much as you do, if that's any consolation.” Katsuki powers through. “I don’t know what secrets are shared between you clusterfucks, so all of this is just a wild fucking guess, but just try to be more-I don’t know-understanding, or whatever.” He peers at Izuku curiously, arms still folded. “You’re good at doing that kind of stuff.”

Izuku’s eyes widen comically at first, and then, his expression falls. “Oh…I had no idea…”

“She’ll tell us when she’s ready. And-no, stop that—” Katsuki pushed himself off the beanbag, stalking to where Izuku was standing. The shorter’s face was crestfallen, and it made Katsuki’s insides contort with guilt “—I don't know shit too, remember? Shortie hasn't told me anything either, okay?”

Lies.

“But I should have noticed!” Izuku insists, rubbing his eyes. Katsuki scratches the back of his neck, and out of sheer luck, his eyes land on his clock.

The 5 minutes were up.

“Then do something about it, nerd!” Katsuki yells, yanking his door open. “Anything but cook. Don't touch the stove.”

“Explosions are your thing,” Izuku reminds his best friend as he's hauled out of Katsuki’s room. “And I'm not that bad—”

“You found a way to explode an egg and burn water. Who knows what you’re going to do next,” Katsuki sneers, herding him out of his room.

“Thanks, Kacchan,” thanks sincerely. “That really cleared things up.”

“It was nothing or whatever,” Katsuki response, softer this time. “Just get out of here.”

Promptly, he slams the door so hard the wall rattles.

Snickers from his childhood friend are loud and clear as Katsuki proceeds to rest his head on his door, eyes fluttering close in exhaustion.

In an uncharacteristically quiet voice, he mumbles to himself when he hears Izuku’s footsteps fade off into the distance.

“I’m gonna fucking assassinate you, Starlight.”

The quiet lasts for a peaceful and painfully short 3 seconds and Katsuki counts them painstakingly as if they were his last 3 seconds to live.

1…

2…

3.

The door slams open and blows Katsuki back to his beanbag, making him snap his eyes open as he glowers at the person responsible. You barge into his room like it’s your own, eyebags so prominent that it actually makes his scowl soften up a little. But then he remembers what happened not less than 5 minutes ago and clings to his petty rage as if it was a lifeline.

“You.” He sneers, watching you plop down on his bed, grab his pillow and squeeze it tightly.

“Kacchan, he’s gonna forget me again,” You groan, rocking back and forth. “The stupid villain still hasn’t opened his damn mouth, and it’s been 6 years.”

“No, no, fuck you,” He spits, hoisting himself off the beanbag and stalking towards you. “First Izuku and now I’ve got to deal with you. Do any of you realise that this is a fucking school? A place where we have things like classes and homework other than your dumpster fire of a relationship with Izuku? I just covered for you mere minutes ago—”

You look at him with crazed, sleep-deprived eyes, and it makes his words die on his tongue. “The nightmares are getting worse, Kacchan.” You say quietly. “He’s gonna forget me in less than 2 weeks and I—” You swallow. “I don’t know if I can keep on doing this.”

Seriously, fuck you. Izuku might have puppy dog eyes, but you might as well be performing witchcraft with those eyes of yours. But that’s when he’s reminded of the gravity of the situation. The three of you had been a pack when you were young, and one day you just…stopped showing. Izuku never mentioned you, even though the two of you were always so damn close. Every time Katsuki himself mentioned you, Izuku had the audacity to give him a bewildered expression in return.

As if he was the one going insane.

When he’d finally cornered you into telling him what happened in middle school, he’d pushed you too far. You broke down in sobs when you told him what happened, and it made his heart clench with regret. He’d help cover for you ever since.

Taking in a long, sharp inhale, he sits down next to you and puts an arm on your shoulder. “Oi. Snap out of it. We’ll get the bastard to talk soon. There’s no such thing as an unbreakable quirk.”

You don’t even look at him, gaze blank and dazed.

“Come on,” Katsuki urges, “Starlight, you’re stronger than this fucker’s quirk. Plus, if there’s anyone who can overcome the odds, it’s Izuku. He loves proving us wrong.”

“He’s proved me wrong 5 times in a row.” You point out glumly, hugging his pillow tighter.

“Starlight.”

“I know!” You yell into his pillow to muffle the volume. “I just, it’s painful.” He lets you have your way with his pillow, watching you finally let your guard down as your head lands on his shoulder.

He sighs absent-mindedly, staring longingly at his pile of worksheets on the table. Whatever, they can wait.

“You’ll never know how hard it is whenever he looks at me and there’s nothing there. I’m scared Kacchan, I’m so, so scared. Do you want to know what I’ve been dreaming of? What has been haunting my nightmares time and over again?” Your voice trembles, growing decibels louder, tears spilling out as you stuff your head into his pillow. Katsuki bites his lip, not daring to reply.

“It’s Izuku’s blank face and his voice that holds so much confusion, asking who I am after we’ve been through hell and back. It’s worse than any villain I fought in the war, worse than any injury because this is something I can’t heal.” Shaking his head, Katsuki just rubs your back soothingly as you cry.

“I wish he would look at me like that again,” You whisper. “Like I wasn’t just a person he met a year ago.”

Katsuki lets you scream and ramble. He allows you to use his pillow as a punching bag because he knows that when you regain control of your emotions, you’d apologise and help him replace the casing. But right now, he needs to help you. He doesn’t know how to work with words, so he simply nods and listens, understanding that that’s all you want, need, now.

So when you ask to pass out on his bed, with puffy eyes and tissues strewn all over his floor, he agrees to wake you up at dinner time.

That bastard deserved to go to Tartarus, he thinks bitterly as he picks up the tissue balls. Maybe if you were planning to visit again this year, he’d tag along.

Just for good measure.

--

I love your eyes. They always light up whenever you smile. P.s. Your smile could light up an entire town. Please don’t stop now.

Somehow, just staring at the note on the back of your phone causes a small smile to form on your face. Maybe on a better day, the words would have processed better, but having just cried your eyes out, you were content with just interpreting it as a cheer-up note.

“I’ll try,” You whisper to yourself, steeling your nerves.

It’s easier said than done.

You love Izuku’s eyes too. You just wish he’d know just how much it means to you because, even as time is flying by too fast, there’s always a glimmer of his 10-year-old self embedded in his mannerisms and gaze when he spares one to you.

Chapter Text

I love the nickname Starlight more than I let on. It may sound a little exaggerated, but I hope you never stop calling me that.

Izuku looks at his phone screen where a Post-it note is stuck and rereads your message over and over again. By the 3rd time, his face was as red as Eijiro’s hair.

Relief sets into his bones when he sees that your messages are no longer filled with cryptic words that he has to read between the lines. That means you’re feeling better, right?

That knowledge puts him in a good mood for the whole morning, a contented smile fixed on his face as his sunny aura makes the people in his perimeter smile too.

Ochaco is the one who greets him first.

“Good morning, Deku! What’s got you in a good mood?” She beams, shouldering her school bag as he joins her outside the dorms.

Izuku greets her with a smile. “Morning Uraraka.”

For some reason, he doesn’t want to explain his feelings whenever it comes to your game of Secrets with him. It feels too personal, something that only you did with him. A selfish part of him wants to keep it that way.

“I had the best sleep in a long while.” He admits, scratching his head. It was a white lie.

His slumber had been dreamless that night, a rare occurrence that—

A thought flies over his head, making him stop short.

Why did he start calling you Starlight?

--

“Your note yesterday was sweet,” You say as you join his table for lunch. “I like your eyes too.”

Tenya drops his sandwich.

Ochaco blinks rapidly.

Shoto looks between the both of you, visibly confused. “Did I miss something?” He asks.

Izuku’s face flares red. “R-Really? U-Um…Thank you…” You cock your head, raising an eyebrow. What’s with everyone today?

Tenya gives him a disapproving stare, which makes him stuff a spoonful of katsudon in his face as the spectacles wearer gestures in the least discreet way possible at Ochaco.

Your brain, which was currently operating at the pace of a decade-old printer, finally catches up to speed.

There was no other way to put it, as you take in the hunger in her eyes and the formation of her blinding grin: Shit.

“What note?!” squeals Ochaco, sounding a little crazed as she grabs both of your hands tightly.

“Where is it? What did it say?” Her hands find your shoulders. “SHOW ME.”

You might as well stamp the word isomic on your head because you had the eyebags of a racoon. The nap in Katsuki’s room might have helped, but that isn’t going to make up for countless sleepless nights dating back to weeks ago. With that little sleep to rely on, it isn’t exactly easy to shake Ochaco off you.

“Uraraka, I think you’re killing her,” Shoto comments idly while he slurps up another spoonful of soba.

“Ochaco, the notes are private,” you insist, gently prying her hands off your shoulder blades. “I’m not gonna show you.”

Accepting Izuku’s grateful smile, you sit down with them and ignore Ochaco’s pout. Izuku’s sparkling green eyes drop down to your tray, and almost immediately, his smile turns upside down. “That’s all you’re having? I thought you’d be starving after class.”

“Not hungry,” You grouch, taking a bite from an apple. “I’m going to the gym to exercise anyway. I’ll vomit if I have a whole meal.”

“Still, that’s not enough!” Izuku protests, scooting closer to you. He pushes his bowl in your direction. “Share with me. You need the energy.”

“Consider this payback from me sharing my meal with you on Sunday,” You sigh, taking a scoop of his rice and putting it in your mouth. “We’re even now.”

“Stop counting,” scolds Izuku, completely unaware of the three onlookers staring at the both of them. “We’re still on for the study session tomorrow, right? I need to get my History notes done before our test, but I have 3 hours of training with All Might and Kacchan—”

“Yes, we’re still on,” You interrupt, nudging him to get him to stop prattling. “Now you eat some too, it’s your food, Zuku!”

“You need to sleep more too,” Izuku rambles on, descending into another round of worried mutterings, “I can’t stand to see you not taking care of yourself—mph!”

You shove the spoon in his mouth while staring at him triumphantly. Looking beyond pleased at yourself for shutting him up, you gaze accusingly at him. “Pot, meet kettle! If sleep at 11, you’ll sleep at 1!”

Izuku rips the spoon out of his mouth, arms flailing in wild gestures. “And if I sleep at 1, you won’t sleep at all!”

“I feel like I’m in the way of something.” Shoto stares down at his soba, and takes another spoonful of it. “Should we leave?”

“You can leave, I want to stay,” Ochaco says dismissively, eyes fixated on the two. Their argument had been traded off for a conversation topic about meet-up plans, so they had obviously missed something. “They were definitely closer than last year. It’s a shame that…well…you know,” The 3 of them share a look.

Biting the bullet, Tenya voices it softly. “That he’s going to forget?”

The trio’s gaze shifts back to the pair.

“She’ll get through it, though. She did last year.” Shoto pipes up.

Ochaco doesn’t know if you notice, but even though she knows that you’re hurting inside, that you’re counting down the days until the 15th like someone counting down the days left to live, your face doesn’t show a trace of that pain.

Your smile is genuine, your laughs are heartfelt and contagious. Whenever you’re with Izuku, your face lights up like a Christmas Tree, contentment and happiness surging into all of your expressions.

Ochaco’s heart swells with sympathy as she nods her head in agreement.

“She will.”

--

1 Year ago

“Tell the class?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “But—”

“Starlight, hear me out.” Katsuki powered through. “Deku’s birthday is coming up again and there’s going to be no other way to explain why he would wake up one morning and not remember you. You’ve already decided that you don’t want him to know, right? One of the idiots is going to slip up or ask him about you and you know it.”

Swallowing back your words of denial, you forced yourself not to wince. He had a point, after all.

“I-” Katsuki placed a hand on your shoulder, features softening. “I can get Kirishima to round up everyone so that we can tell them. I’ll be there to help and everything. Ask Uraraka to get the nerd squad away from the living room so we can talk freely. If you want to pretend like everything’s fine, we need to make sure that everyone is in on it.”

Silence enveloped the two of you for a few seconds as crimson eyes stared at you intensely.

“I’ll tell the teachers for safe measure,” You agreed, fingers wrung and twisted around each other. “We don’t have to tell them about Zuku’s birthday, right? Just the quirk?”

Katsuki nodded, rubbing your back. “I’ll get Kirishima to gather everyone up tomorrow evening. The sooner we meet up, the sooner we get it over with.”

--

Present

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Izuku says suddenly on your way back to the dorms. The sun was setting, the orange sky lighting your way back. “I started calling you Starlight because you reminded me of One For All.”

Oh? This was new.

Eyebrows knitted together, you prompt him to continue. “You’ve always been so warm and bright. And then the nickname Starlight came to mind instantly, and I don’t know. It just felt right.” He smiles at you. “It really suits you!”

You smile back at him, nudging him. “Thanks, Zuku.”

“What about me?” He asks curiously. “How’d you start calling me Zuku?”

“Mnn…” You look up thoughtfully, trying to find middle ground. You don’t want to lie to the One For All wielder, but you also can’t tell him the truth.

A memory consumes you, one you look back on it fondly. Your nicknames for each other are one of the things that never changed.

--

11 years ago

It was that park again. The one with All Might-themed colours that symbolised the hero’s growing popularity.

It was getting late, evening drawing near. Your mothers were on the way back from their meet-up spot in the cafe, and a five-year-old Katsuki had been tasked to take care of the three of you.

Izuku had fallen inside the sandbox where Katsuki was building a gigantic sandcastle to prove he could make better sandcastles than both of you combined when you had posted the question.

“Izuku, why do you call him Kacchan?”

Before Izuku could respond, Katsuki interrupted with his signature loud voice. “Because Deku’s a stupid loser that can’t speak properly,” He said almost braggingly, sneering like a viper who’d caught its prey. You frowned at him, helping Izuku up, “That’s mean, Kacchan,”

“Why are you calling me that now?!”

“Because it’s cute! I like it,” You smiled gleefully. Katsuki snarled again, but he doesn’t protest.

“Sorry, I knocked down our sandcastle.” Izuku stared at the lump of sand, half of the castle intact, and the other half destroyed.

“It’s fine,” You assured him, a frown etching on your face. “But I don’t wanna call you Deku.”

A light bulb lit up in your brain, and it made you clap your hands together. “I’ll call you Zuku!” You announced, pleased with yourself. “It’s shorter, and it’s nice! Unlike someone.” You glared pointedly at Katsuki, who simply threw you a writhing scowl as he stood up and dusted his hands. “I won!” He smiled proudly, admiring his work. “Take that, nerds!”

“Kacchan’s amazing.” Izuku agreed, before he makes eye contact with you. “I like the nickname. Thanks, uh…” He glanced around, eyes flickering from item to item. None of them felt right-there aren’t a lot of awe-inspiring nicknames in a playground-until he finally stared back at you.

The sun was setting and the stars had come out earlier than usual. “Starlight!” He blurted, pointing out to the shining dots in the sky. It was the biggest one he could see, and it made him grin broadly. “How’s Starlight as a nickname? Do you like it?”

Giggling happily, you nodded your head vigorously and take Izuku’s hand. “I like it a lot! Thanks, Zuku!”

Katsuki stepped out of the sandbox and brushed the sand off his shorts, scowl taking up most of his face, “You guys are lame!” He shouted, eyes narrowing on Izuku. He pointed an accusatory finger at Izuku, who tilted his head in response. “How’d you even come up with that, anyway?”

“I mean, I think Kacchan and Y/n are amazing! Kacchan’s good at everything and Starlight is both street and book-smart, so everyone finds both of you super cool! Kacchan reminds me of the Sun and Starlight reminds me of the stars! I mean, look at you two!” He explained enthusiastically, waving his hands at the both of you. “You both shine!”

Katsuki blinked rapidly, while you process his words in silence.

“Hah?!” Katsuki exploded. “You think I’m like the Sun? Are you saying I’m hot-headed or scalding or—”

“IT WAS A COMPLIMENT, KACCHAN!” You hollered, defending Izuku. “Take it!”

Kacchan was like the Sun, someone that made his presence known and a blazing force to be reckoned with. Izuku looked up to him in more ways than one.

You were like the stars. You didn’t think you were as amazing as people, so you always turned a blind eye to everyone who’d said so. After all, when you were living near to Katsuki, it would always be him who was the talk of the town.

Still, Izuku doesn’t think you know how capable or awesome you are. He doesn’t think you realise that, while Kacchan might be too blinding for some people to look at, you are just as beautiful, and easy to look at, as the countless stars in the sky.

--

Present

“Starlight?”

Izuku shakes you a little, making you snap out of it just in time to see a lamp post mere inches away from your face. Quickly, he pulls you away just in time, worry prominent on his face. “Are you okay? What happened?”

You shake your head and laugh sheepishly. “Sorry, spaced out for a second. Your question brought back memories.”

“Uh…O-kay…?” He raises an eyebrow as a prompt before he repeats, “Why do you call me Zuku?”

Are those-are those tears in your eyes? He blinks again, and finds them gone.

Weird.

Instead of answering, though, you press a finger to your lips and smile mysteriously.

“It’s a secret.”

--

I don’t like Kacchan calling you Shortie. Kacchan’s amazing and all, but he shouldn’t make fun of your height. P.s. I like the nickname Zuku, too! You don’t have to tell me why you started calling me that, I’m just glad you do. I can’t imagine you calling me anything else.

You find the Post-it note staring back at you on the washing machine. Somehow, Izuku timed it such that when he stepped out of the laundry room, you would be the first one who walked in. Huffing, you stuff the note into your pocket and pull out your unwashed clothes, stuffing them swiftly into the machine.

You don’t want to tell Izuku that the whole reason why Katsuki had started calling you Shortie was to make sure he never figured out that you were his childhood friend. You didn’t want to tell him why you called him Zuku because you didn’t want to lie to him.

You don’t have to imagine yourself calling him otherwise because, in less than 2 weeks, you’ll be back to calling him Midoriya, for the 7th time to match his 7th cycle. It’s not going to hurt physically, but mentally it threatens to break you because, once upon a time, you never thought you had to act like a stranger to the person you love the most.

Chapter Text

I haven’t really been sleeping well lately, nightmares are getting to me.

Curiosity sets in Izuku’s bones as he stares at his history textbook with an accusing glare.

The note is scribbled out in a hurry, with multiple letters connected by one line in an almost illegible form.

It’s clinging on for dear life as the wind blows it around on his history textbook and threatens to peel itself off.

This is odd.

No, it wasn’t the fact that you had written in English. The both of you had opted to write your letters in your second language, just as an added safety precaution after Mineta had come deadly close to reading your notes. Sure, it wasn’t foolproof, but it stops people like Ashido and Denki from even trying to even interpret your Secret due to the barrier of language.

And it’s not because you had given this literal minutes before he met up with you again.

You know that Izuku likes structure, and that was how you had fallen into the pattern of giving your Secrets to him in the morning, and him some other time in the day, usually in the evening or at night.

It was currently 6 pm.

He shakes his head and reminds himself of Katsuki’s words: This season was a tough time for you, and as your friend, he had to be patient.

He could do patient.

A soft smile spreads across his face as he knocks on your door, clutching his study materials tighter against his chest.

You deserve at least that much.

--

You flash him a tired smile when he enters the room, sitting up straighter. “You sure took your own sweet time. I was thinking of starting without you.” You tease.

“Oh, hush you,” He shushes, sitting down on the empty rolly chair. “I’m not that bad.”

The both of you allow silence to envelop the room as you start opening books and pulling out writing materials. That is, until he breaks it.

“Want to do a sleepover on Friday?” Izuku suggests out of the blue. My eyes meet his, and instantly, I know why he’s suggesting it. “This is about my note, right?” I voice slowly.

Izuku nods his head. “We could invite Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki for a mini slumber party in the living room. A Friday movie night sounds like fun, doesn’t it?”

The picture is illustrated in warm colour tones, making you smile subconsciously as you imagine the scene. Before the Quirk accident, Katsuki, Izuku and you would have sleepovers at Katsuki’s house. Curling up under blankets and cheering for All Might together, the 3 of you rode every high and low of the movies like it was a rollercoaster that never ended.

“Yeah,” You reply, smile growing sweeter by the minute. “I’d like that. Thanks, Zuku.”

Eyes brimming with relief, concern and raw delight, Izuku beams at you, as bright and warm as a campfire. “Anytime.”

--

It’s about two hours into your study session that you start dosing off. Izuku notices it all: the way your eyes droop whenever you start down at a question too long. The way your pen dots the paper, and how you start scribbling out the answers on your arithmetic worksheet. Frankly, he’s sure that you have no idea what you’re doing when he sees you write Shakespeare on your Mathematics test paper.

He shakes you gently when he sees your eyes flutter shut, trying to wake you up when he sees you succumb to the lull of sleep. “5 more minutes…” You sigh, swatting his hand away as you slump down on your desk.

You look like one of those adults that had worked overtime to meet a deadline, and so Izuku leaves you be. Your test paper wasn’t due until next week, so it could wait. Seeing you finally get the peaceful rest you so rightfully deserved eases his heart a little.

He must have been hyper-focused on his note-taking, because by the time he glances up, it’s coming to 9. Your features are relaxed, arms probing up your head with your jaw open ajar. Izuku shakes his head, a soft smile playing on his lips.

He should probably go.

Quietly, he packs his textbook up and scribbles his Secret to you, debating if he should wake you up or not.

If he leaves you there, you’ll suffer the consequence of a stiff neck when tomorrow comes. If he takes you to your bed, there’s a chance you wake up and have trouble falling asleep again.

Luckily-or unluckily-, he doesn’t have to choose.

Midway through his internal debate, you start to stir, causing Izuku to jump back at your slightest movement.

At first, he thought you were waking up because of the crease that forms in between your eyebrows. You were muttering incoherently too, a few words and phrases that were too soft for him to capture.

But then you start to breathe more heavily, your chest heaving up and down in panicked, deliberate exhales. Eyebrows knitted together, Izuku ceases his murmurs and slides his stationery on the table you were resting your head on. A droplet of water lands on the table, right next to your arms, making his eyes snap to you.

Tears gather in your eyes, streaking down your face.

Izuku’s heart plummets like a ten-pound bowling ball.

You aren’t fine at all.

Izuku shakes your shoulder gently as your breaths get ragged, one of your hands gripping your sleeves so hard he thought you were going to tear them. “Starlight,” He whispers, emerald eyes blown wide in anxiety.

“Starlight, wake up…it’s a nightmare!”

You don’t respond to him at all, disjointed ramblings blurring into semi-coherent words. “…Zuku, please…” Your tears are overflowing now. “’m not lying…”

It took Izuku’s iron willpower to put aside your drunk-like slurs and focus on getting you awake. “Starlight,” He urges, desperation seeping through his voice. “Wake up!”

One final jolt sends you screaming like a banshee, causing him to rip his hand away like he was touching acid. Your eyes snap open. Izuku has never seen them hold that much fear in his life.

You graduate to hyperventilating, short, quick breaths being taken in and out as you cover your mouth immediately, still shivering in your chair with your homework long abandoned.

Empathy consumes Izuku a whole as your shriek replays in his mind again. He hadn’t realised how muffled the walls make them sound.

“Hey,” Nearing you, the greenette kneels to your eye level and wills the anxiety out of his eyes. He makes sure the concern is prominent, though. “It’s okay, it was just a nightmare—.”

“Zuku,” You rasp, a fresh batch of tears pearling your eyes. “Y-You’re still here…”

And that breaks him. How small you sound, how broken your voice is.

How could you think that he’d ever leave?

“Yes, I’m here,” He assures, offering you his hand. “Everything’s fine now.”

Swallowing thickly, you look up at him through your haze of tears. “Sorry, but…c-can I—” Your voice is thick as you sink to the floor beside him. “Can I get a hug? I-I really need one now.”

There are tears in his eyes too as he spreads his arms wide, welcoming you into his embrace. He takes your shivering form and pats your back soothingly, comforting you the best he can. And you seem content with doing just that because you cling to him even tighter, like you’re afraid he’s going to disappear any second.

“Don’t leave, Zuku. Stay here with me.” You say quietly, voice hoarse.

Oh, right. The nightmare was about him.

“I’m not going to leave,” He promises, arms around your torso.

“You swear?” You ask, breath hitching. Another round of tears breaks through when he nods his head, and Izuku lets you cry it all out.

He assumes they’re tears of relief when he couldn’t be farther from the truth.

You don’t talk after that. Izuku holds you like that for as long as you want and offers you tissues by grabbing them from your bedside using Black Whip because he doesn’t want to let go of you now. Eventually, your breaths start to even out, and that’s when Izuku carries you to bed and start to pick up the tissue balls as you get ready to sleep.

That’s when Izuku finally breaks in the question.

“You don’t have to answer me now, but…did your nightmare have something with me dying in it?” If that was so, he wants to do everything he can to assure you wasn’t as reckless as before. He never factored in how much his classmates cared about him until the battle against Class A on his suicide mission to battle All For One alone.

There isn’t the slightest indication of you acknowledging his question. No reply, no rustling of your pillows, not even a flinch.

Izuku thinks of leaving it like that until he sees more tears well up in your eyes, and quickly passes the tissue box to you.

You give him a watery smile, shaking your head as you admit.

“Something like that.”

--

I asked 3 different people on how to cheer you up, but no one got it quite right, so I ended up going with my own idea. I’m glad that you’re feeling better. P.s, my offer still stands. I’m a wall away if you need to talk. Just swing by.

- Izuku

Chapter Text

I asked 3 different people on how to cheer you up, but no one got it quite right, so I ended up going with my own idea. I’m glad that you’re feeling better. P.s, my offer still stands. I’m a wall away if you need to talk. Just swing by.

- Izuku

That was Izuku’s note to you yesterday. One you find pasted so haphazardy on your Mathematics test paper that…for some reason had Shakespeare on it.

This was probably right before your little incident had taken place.

Last night was a painful blur that was highlighted by Izuku’s warm arms around you, Izuku’s comforting words, Izuku’s steady patting on your back that reminded you how to breathe again.

To cut to the chase, it was a lot of…Izuku.

Thankfully, the nerd made the swift conclusion after accessing your cursed sleep-talking and wolf howl of a scream to assume that he had died in your nightmare. And technically, that was sort of true.

Kind of.

That night had scared the living daylights out of you, and probably out of Izuku as well. He hid his fear well, but…you remember his trembling fingers and shaky exhales.

He had been scared too.

--

“Izuku, I’m going there on Saturday.” You announce as you slam your tray down at his table. Green eyes meet yours, his smile dissolving as his eyebrows crunch together in confusion. It takes 5 seconds for him to realise what you’re talking about. “Oh.”

Katsuki stares between the two of you, fork in his hand and a look of petulant frustration lining his features. “Where?” He spits, stabbing his cutlet. “Stop being so vague like y’all are hotshots sitting around King Arthur’s round table. We’re teenagers who have class in twenty minutes sitting at a table made of plastic. Quit with the theatrics.”

You sighs, slumping down in your seat. “Hi, Katsuki.”

“Shortie.”

“Kacchan!” Izuku frowns. “Starlight meant the lake. The clearing she showed me when you refused to join us on our picnic a month after the war ended?”

Sharp, scarlet eyes widen in recognition as he chews his food, eyes flying to you. “You mean—”

“Yes, that clearing with the weeping willow tree thing.” You interrupt, eyes conveying your message loud and clear: Zip it.

Katsuki shoots back a glare, which ultimately says: Don’t tell me what to do, asshole.

“I don’t give a shit,” He grumbles, stabbing his food again. “That spot is practically a ‘you’ spot. I want nothing to do with it.”

It was a nice little clearing you’d found not too deep into the forest. It was one of those spots that were straight out of a story: A crystal-clean lake that was small but beautiful, and a weeping willow that casted a shadow for shade.

You used to go there often.

Turning back to you, Izuku gives you a hopeful smile. “Can I join you? I want to visit Mom.”

You nod your head. “Of course. We can have a picnic there! It’s been awhile since we last went. We can even skip rocks or find other games to play!”

Smiling to himself, Izuku takes a bite of his meal. “Sounds great, Starlight.”

--

When I introduced this game to you, it wasn’t my first time playing Secrets.

Izuku tilts his head and looks at you questioningly, Post-it note still in his hands. Was this game introduced to you? Did this mean you played this game with someone other than him? The thought makes his stomach churn. He doesn’t like that idea.

“Oh, stop with that look,” You chide as you do your sit-ups. “It’s not what you think.”

“Well, what am I thinking then?” He demands, shoving the sticky note under his bottle as he walks over to you. He sits down on the floor next to you, holding your ankles so that you can perform the sit-ups at a faster pace.

Expression neutral, you don’t stop your reps as your reply without missing a beat. “You look like I just betrayed you for introducing a bonding game from my childhood to you, but you know that isn’t fair so you’re not saying anything so that you don’t come off as selfish.”

“I didn’t say that!” Izuku defends quickly.

You pause mid-sit-up. “Did you think it though?”

His head droops. “Yes.”

You laugh, a smile forming on your lips. “I used to have this…friend. We used to live pretty close by, actually, before he-uh,” You swallowed, eyes hazy for a moment. “Moved.”

Izuku doesn’t stop you and lets you continue. “We came up with it together. At first, it was just a form of communication, like passing notes in class. But slowly, it became more…personal.” You smile fondly while you recite the memory, and Izuku listens carefully, hanging on your every word. “We started falling into the habit of doing it more often until it was on a daily basis. Simple things like, ‘I was actually really mad when this happened, even though I pretended that everything was fine.’”

Your smile is so tender as you recall the origins of the seemingly meaningless game. But this isn’t meaningless to him. This was special beyond words, even though it seemed ordinary or simple.

“That sounds really nice,” The One For All wielder comments, eyes swarming with understanding.

“It was,” You agree, eyes shifting to Izuku. “I introduced it to you because you’re someone I trust. I just…wanted you to know that you could do the same.”

A fiery blush creeps across his face as his heart melts when he hears you say that. He hadn’t realised how lucky he’d gotten when you became his friend. Izuku’s eyes are averted as he fiddles with the fabric of his sweat-soaked shirt. “You’ve made me really want to hug you now, but I can’t because we’re both gross and drenched in sweat.” He grumbles, making you laugh.

“I’m sorry,” You tease, nudging him playfully.

“You’re not forgiven.”

The both of you burst into a fit of giggles, before he helps you up. “Ready to go? We still have homework to do.”

Nodding, you grab your water bottle and follow Izuku out of the gym to head back to the dorms. And that’s when that question comes back.

“How are your nightmares?” He asks quietly, changing the subject. “Did you sleep better last night?’

You wish you could just forget last night. And the stupidest thing is, that had been the best sleep you’ve gotten in weeks.

“Dreamless,” You confirm, rubbing your own arm sheepishly. “Thanks for yesterday. That, uh, meant a lot to me.”

“No, no! It wasn’t a problem! I’m glad I was there to help.” In all honesty, Izuku’s relieved. He knows how painful it is, getting bombarded with wave after wave of nightmares that seem so vivid. “Do you…get those nightmares a lot?”

There’s a pause, before you nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“I know how that feels,” He admits, “I hate dreaming about losing people.”

Your scream echoes in his mind again, and it makes him shudder. He can’t stand the nightmares that he loses you in.

“Me too,” Your voice sounds…small, uncertain, so Izuku leaves the subject as that. Instead, he switches back to your story about your game with him, still interested in what you had to say.

“What did happen to him?” Izuku asks suddenly, standing outside the dorms now.

“Huh?”

“I meant, the guy you originally used to play the game with. Is he still around?”

You stare at him with a surprised look, a myriad of emotions flashing through your eyes. Your smile is dismissive, but there’s a hint of sadness in it when you reply.

“He’s long gone now.”

Chapter Text

I love your laugh. It’s not polite or feigned, it can be cute or like cackles, but it gets me cracking up too. I don’t care if Mina calls you unladylike for it, I don’t really care what anyone says about it, although I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. Seeing you genuinely happy makes me feel really happy too.

Izuku’s notes are growing dangerously sweet as the days pass by.

You make sure to remember it, embrace it, and cherish it well before this version of him goes.

It will be painful letting him go again.

“Hey Y/n, you coming?” Ochaco says, poking her head into your room. Swiftly, you hide the letter from her, shoving the note in your pocket that had been wrapped around your pencil after Izuku borrowed it from you.

Maybe you should just switch back to sticking the Post-it notes on your doors again.

A memory of Mineta almost making out your note causes you to shudder.

Nevermind. Using objects is a good idea.

“Yeah, coming down in a second,” You reply, grabbing your white hoodie and pulling it over your body before making your way out of your room.

Flicking your lights off, you turn back to see Ochako giving you a judgemental stare.

You cock an eyebrow. “What?”

“You’re smiling.” She points at you, eyes softening. “But you also look like you’re gonna cry.”

“What in All Might—” In a flash, you’re checking the closest mirror to fix your expression as Ochaco sighs loudly beside you.

“You know, I don’t understand why you can’t just tell him about the Quirk accident—”

“Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.” You sang, still frowning at your eye bags. “Trust me when I say I freaked him out. It was the worst cycle. Pretty sure he hated me—”

“Deku would never hate you!” She scolds, dragging you away from the mirror despite your protests. Ochaco pulls you into the lift as her big chocolate-brown eyes stare determinedly at you. She grips your shoulders. “Get a grip, Y/n! Isn’t this entire movie night idea he suggested for you? I don’t think Deku could hate you even if he tried. It’s the same kind of immunity Katsuki has!”

“Okay, firstly, just because we’ve known each other from childhood doesn’t give us immunity—”

“It does, you’re just blind, Y/n—”

“Secondly, I just want him to live normally!” You protest, gesturing into empty space. “You know, man’s been in a war and is already tasked with being the new Symbol of Peace. Zuku deserves some normal after all of that!”

Ochaco does not look amused.

“Well, man’s broken bones and has battled a half-immortal, white-haired Voldemort rip-off. I don’t think he can ever be normal.” She muses.

“Don’t call Shigaraki Voldemort, that guy is the embodiment of trauma.” You sigh running a hand down your face. “Hence why he deserves normality instead of me swooping into his life like an unglorified flying squirrel—”

“And you don’t?” Ochaco says, voice growing decibels louder. “You don’t deserve a normal life? One where you can live knowing that Deku properly knows you, instead of tumbling back to square 1 every year?”

You snap your mouth shut at that. You’re almost tempted to say…no. You don’t deserve it.

But the words don’t form fast enough.

“He calls you Starlight for a reason, doesn’t he? You mean something to him.” Ochaco releases your shoulders as the elevator dings, signalling that you’d hit the bottom floor. “Do something about it. Before you waste any more time.”

--

It is still thunderstorming outside, which isn’t unusual despite the summer. With the massive heat that had built up over the course of the last month, the skies had been threatening to pour since the afternoon. It only delivered in the evening.

It was the appropriate weather for some spooky horror movie, but with the Deku squad (or as Katsuki liked to call it, the nerd squad), you highly doubt that was up their alleyway. Still, you humour them.

“So, what are we watching?” You ask, sitting beside Izuku as he gives you a small smile. You feel dizzy, probably because of your sort-of pep talk with Ochaco just a few minutes earlier.

“Disney, right? We’re trying to get Todoroki up to date with all the childhood movies he missed.”

“Can we watch Frozen?” Shoto asks promptly as he dumps the snacks on the table in front of the TV.

Izuku tosses a blanket across himself, a frown creasing on his face as he tries to get comfortable. “Shoto, we’ve watched that 10 times—”

“Yes, but there’s a Frozen 2, you see?” The dual quirk wielder points to the second movie’s link, blinking back at Izuku expressionlessly. “I wanna watch this one.”

“Sounds fine to me,” Ochaco shrugs. “Where’s Iida?”

The greenette sighs and shakes his head. “He said he’s not up to it. Iida’s had a long week. Plus, I don’t think he likes compromising his bedtime for this kinda thing.”

“There are good reviews on it.” Shoto continues, scrolling through the Google page.

Todoroki really deserved a better childhood, you think to yourself, empathy welling up in your heart.

“Disney it is, then,” You smile, rubbing Shoto’s shoulder gently as a form of comfort. “We’ll watch it now.”

--

Ochaco had bets when Izuku suggested the movie night. In fact, the betting pool had been going on ever since the war ended, and one of them had been “both of you snuggling together.”

This movie night and rain was a godsend.

Watching Izuku and you were definitely much more entertaining compared to watching Kristoff singing to a bunch of reindeer, after all.

Unfortunately, both of you were stubbornly polite about each other’s personal space. Izuku had cocooned up in his blanket in the centre of the sofa while you had decided to slump over the couch’s armrest like a lazy cat.

It made her want to pull her hair out, but she refrained from getting involved.

You hated it when someone messed with your relationship with Izuku, and when you blow, she doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of your fury.

She’s asked Katsuki about it, and even he admitted that it was about as scary as when Izuku got mad.

She’s not about to pull the pin on that grenade, either.

One day, when the quirk is lifted and you finally be normal friends with Izuku, she hopes that you’d stop with the white lies and hidden secrets that you have to keep from Izuku.

One day, she’s sure.

That day just isn’t now.

--

“I’m starting to get sleepy, but Todoroki’s still watching. Is that bad?” You whisper to Izuku, scooting a little closer to him from your spot.

Izuku glances over to the dual-coloured-haired teen, eyes fixated on the screen like a child eyeing their favourite candy. “No, it’s not bad,” He assures you.

Thunder claps again, and it makes Izuku shiver in his bundle. “It’s so cold today, isn’t it?”

“Freezing,” You agree, flipping your hood up. “But that’s because there’s aircon in the dorms and the rain is making everything colder.”

A thought crosses his mind, and almost immediately, he blurts. “Want some of the blanket?”

You blink at him with shock and…something else, but it makes his cheeks warm instantly. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that, I swear! I’m so, so—”

“Shh!” Shoto shushes, eyes watching Elsa intently as she parkours across ice blocks.

Izuku bites his lip, blush growing redder. His voice lowers. “I just meant, you know, if you're cold, I’d—”

It’s almost painful watching him murmur to himself like that, and the only thing you can think of is to shift closer to close the gap between the two of you. Before he can say anything more, you wrap the blanket around yourself, making sure that there’s a crack of space between the two of you.

“Is this good?” You ask as Izuku’s mouth snaps shut.

“Yeah.” The green-haired squeaks, voice barely over a whisper. “Yeah, this is good.”

--

This reminds you of your childhood. You and Izuku had always done this, and you hadn’t been shy one bit about leaning into his embrace back when you were kids. Keeping each other warm during the winter, cheering for All Might’s victory and screaming at the screen…you hadn’t realised how much you missed it until you were inches apart.

It was astounding what puberty could do to people these days.

Izuku’s presence has a lulling effect on you, and soon, you find your head drooping, accidentally landing on the greenette’s shoulder more than once.

By the 4th time, he leans closer to you and says, “You can just lean on me, you know? I wouldn’t mind.”

You nod in response, finally caving. “Wake me up once the movie’s done…”

Mumbling out that last sentence, you close the final gap between the both of you, and fall into your slumber.

Awkwardly, he extends his arm to wrap around you, suddenly feeling overly self-conscious of his sitting position and yours.

Was this really okay? Was he overstepping boundaries? He’d never want to with you, and—

“Oh, Zuku?”

He stiffens around you, cold sweat soaking his palms. Instead, you pull the blanket around the both of you tighter. “I like your laugh too.”

You always have, really. It’s raw and sweet, never feigned in any time he laughed in his life.

Katsuki still gets those blinding smiles and eyes filled with admiration, but you were always the one who got the happy chuckles and boisterous laughter. The fact that Izuku hadn’t found your laughs creepy was a marvel in and itself, but you wonder if he knows just how much you love his.

“Thank you for today, Zuku…” you slur, drifting off into sleep.

The last thought you have before fatigue consumes you is how much you miss that special chuckle reserved just for you, partnered with that smile he only gave to you.

Izuku smiles softly beside you as you go limp, no longer feeling so awkward anymore. “You’re welcome,” He whispers, easing into your position.

“I’m glad I could help.”

--

“Well, damn, I thought it’d be hard to find them in this position, but these lovebirds are really out of it.” Ashido sighs, staring at the couch. The movie had ended 30 minutes ago, and Shoto was fast asleep in his sleeping bag as Ochaco and Ashido stared at the other two.

Izuku had fallen asleep not long after you, and it led to his head resting yours. The blanket that was wrapped around you held you together, and as a result, had given you nice, cozy warmth as you embraced each other so innocently. You both look like you’re dating.

“My payment,” Ochaco says sweetly, and Ashido groans and pulls out a 10, muttering. “’s not fair.”

“All is fair in the betting pool. Why do you think we banned Katsuki?” Ochaco demanded, stuffing the notes into her pocket before she lays out her sleeping bag.

“You didn’t have to ban him. You know he doesn’t like the idea of using his friends for spare cash.”

“Course he does. He’s a saint,” Ochaco grumbles, taking a final glance at Izuku and you. “They’ll figure it out, right? Once the quirk is lifted, they’ll get it together?”

Ashido smiles, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. “They will. They’ll get through this.”

Ochaco nods, as if trying to convince herself. “They’ll be fine.”

Chapter Text

You’re the easiest person to talk to, even though there are so many things I can’t tell you. Even if you knew everything that happened that’s making me say this, there will always be one particular secret I can’t tell you, even though it’s dying to spill from my lips.

A week. 7 days until he forgets you again.

--

This was going to hurt.

“It’s awesome that we live so close,” Izuku exclaims as he ducks under a tree branch. “Even though U.A is great, it can never beat home sweet home,”

“That, I agree with.” You concur, lifting up a couple of branches.

Izuku had never felt so flustered in his life when he woke up to coos and awws all directed in his direction. It didn’t take a scientist to figure out why. With the weight wrapped around his arm and your head on his shoulder, it took him one full second to realise four things:

1. He’d just spent a night on the couch with you…

2. Forgotten to wake you up…

3. Ended up falling asleep with you…

4. On the common room’s couch, on display for everyone to see.

Izuku didn’t curse, but right now, he was screaming the word shit in his brain over and over again.

Don’t get him wrong, he’d tried to quietly untangle himself from you, but it didn’t work as you started to frown and pull him closer when you started to feel him leave.

Cute, his mind had supplied, and part of him was embarrassed that he actually liked the feeling of you in his embrace, tucked away by his side.

It felt good, felt right, but…not when you had 5 pairs of eyeballs studying the both of you in public.

Waking up in Izuku’s arms was something you never knew you wanted to do. He was rightfully embarrassed, anyone would be, and when you realise he was trying to pull away you immediately relented. With a hasty goodbye and a time to meet, you fled upstairs to pack your bag while drowning in shame.

Now, as you explore the forest of your childhood, you were trying hard not to think of the dorms and focus on why you wanted to come here.

And luck favors you today, because as an answer to your desperate plea, bright light that was previously obscured by trees shines through to brighten the clearing you’d been looking for. A large weeping willow towers over the lake, a scene you used to see often now reflecting back in your eyes.

You suck in a breath. “We’re here.”

The clearing is a special place to you because it was where Izuku used to spend much time with you back when you were little. Back when Izuku was Quirkless, this spot had been his sanctuary from the judgemental people that lined his life. Izuku was here the most for those first couple of weeks, before they ironed out to weekly visits when you’d join him with a picnic basket in hand.

After your Quirk Accident with Izuku, you’d come here a lot, too.

This place’s features might have changed, but it evokes the same feeling.

It feels like coming home.

You set down your basket and blanket by the weeping willow, taking in your surroundings. The lake was still beautifully clear as always, proof that you and Izuku had been the only ones to find this place. In contrast, the weeping willow was taller, the leaves dangling a little longer and coloured green to block the sun’s glare. Your fingers traced the bark of the tree, eyes glancing up to the branch that you always sat on just a head above where you were standing.

The nostalgia was almost suffocating.

“Let’s lay out the blankets first,” Izuku suggests, making your eyes snap to the green-haired. His scarred hands are awfully gentle as they pick up the picnic mat and spread it out.

Even though he could snap a neck as easily as breaking a toothpick, Izuku has never flaunted it, instead opting to cradle and handle everything he did with care.

Just like he did with you.

A gasp jolts you out of your thoughts, making your eyes focus on Izuku’s face. His eyebrows shoot to his hairline, mouth open ajar as he brings the two boxes out. “Did you make bentos for us?”

“No, I got takeout,” I say flatly, rolling my eyes. “Of course I cooked for us. It’s 3 p.m and we skipped lunch. I’m starving.”

“Starlight, you’re the best! Your cooking is top-tier!” He cheers, eyes glowing like stars.

“Well,” You scratch your head, settling down next to him. “I learned from the best.”

You learned from Katsuki, is what you were trying to say, but Izuku pays no mind and passes you your box. “Thank you for the food!” he greets, before ripping open the lid and tucking in with you.

Some things never change, especially when it came to Izuku and food.

“How’d you find this place, by the way?” He asks midway through your meal. He looks incredibly adorable like that, mouth stuffed like a hamster’s, but it made you pause. “I was exploring the woods and found it,” You shrug, playing with your food now. It was another white lie to add to your ever growing list, but then again, who’s counting?

It’s not like Izuku had ever questioned them.

--

The next hour was spent in blissful silence.

The Sun had decided to play nice today, and the wind was a cooling gale that made summer’s hot weather feel like a cakewalk. Your finished bentos were dumped inside the old picnic basket, and you found yourself climbing the tree like second nature.

Izuku was always nervous when you did this, even more so in middle school because the best he could do was to break your fall as you take him down with you. But your feet dig into the right places of the tree, hands clutching familiar hooks and branches until, finally, you make it up.

It was much easier now that you were stronger.

“You better be careful up there,” Izuku had warned.

“Relax!” You grin, sticking your tongue out at Izuku. “At this height? Worst I’d get is a bruised ego. I can’t call myself a hero if I can’t even land on my feet.”

Izuku takes down notes and does homework while you draw the scenery, the wind blowing your hair back as you balance on the tree branch expertly. 10+ years of practice has done you well.

A note slips out of your grasp the next time the wind blows, fluttering down to Izuku’s hero analysis notebook. Right. Your Secret for today.

“For me?” He asks, head craning up to look at you curiously.

You nod your head.

You’re the easiest person to talk to, even though there are so many things I can’t tell you. Even if you knew everything that happened that’s making me say this, there will always be one particular secret I can’t tell you, even though it’s dying to spill from my lips.

Your green-haired friend had always worn his heart on his sleeve. Whether it was loud sputters that signified his nervousness, his expressive eyes that were the window to his soul, or his ears that always tipped red whenever he was embarrassed.

After knowing him so long, he didn’t have to say a word for you to read his mind.

“I’m here when you want to tell me,” He says gently, peering up at you with a tender gaze. “Whatever it is, I’m glad that you trust me.”

It’s simple words like this that make your heart pound. And it’s even more impactful when you look into his eyes, and you know that he means it. Every word that he says is from the bottom of his heart.

Your heart aches to do the same, wishing you could work around this another way. You wish…you didn’t have to lie.

“I’m sorry…” You mutter, eyes barely meeting his.

Crap, you hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

Izuku shakes his head, face so painfully trusting. “For what?”

I’m sorry that I have to lie to you.

I’m sorry that I have to hide stuff from you.

“Everything.” You mumble, “For keeping you awake at night when I have nightmares. For having you do so much for me these past few days. Zuku, you don’t have a clue of how much this means to me—”

“Probably as much as whatever you do for me—” He argues.

“—Because I just—” You catch yourself, course-correcting. “I just…”

Love you.

You can't even get those two damn words out of your mouth.

“I get it,” Izuku assures, a smile plastered on his face. There’s a hint of Izuku’s real smile there, the one that was meant for you, but it’s hidden under layers of forgotten memories and unseen barriers.

It doesn’t assure you at all.

The sound of the lake and nature around you cover up the silence between the two of you, before you force yourself to speak again. “Hey, Zuku? Do you want to celebrate your birthday at home, instead of U.A.? We can get Kacch—Katsuki to come back with us as your birthday present, celebrate at your house and everything with a cake and presents. You like your birthdays small, right?”

Please don’t realise my slip up, please don’t realise my slip up—

“How’d you know that?” He chuckles, forgoing the tenseness edging the conversation. Hard time, that’s all he has to remember. You’re going through a difficult time now, a difficult thing he is unaware of—

“You seem like that kind of guy,” Another white lie. After all these years, each birthday of his is ingrained into your brain, searing itself like a tattoo. It burns.

“Gee, thanks,” He pouts, dropping his eyes back to the ground. This is better, you breathe in relief, smirking.

You could deal with this situation like this.

“But yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll tell Kacchan about it.”

Yeah, you can deal with this. you just had to take it one day at a time, make the most out of everything you had.

--

Our spot in the forest is a well-kept secret. It’s selfish, but I don’t want anybody else to know about it besides you and me. P.s. Don’t apologise for crying. We’re heroes, but we’re human too.

He gives you that on the way back, and as the first stars appear in the sky, you sniffle all the way home while Izuku comforts you, even though he has no idea why you’re crying.

You’re going to miss this.

Chapter Text

I wish you would realise something is wrong. There’s been something wrong for a long ti—

“Watch out!”

Your pen fumbles out of your grip as you shove your note into your pocket.

Izuku wraps his arms around you and pushes the both of you below the window just in time as glass shatters above you.

This isn’t how it was supposed to go.

Izuku uncovers your head, breath heavy with wide green eyes, having protected you from the blast. You read his expression wordlessly, wheezing out a, “thank you,” as the bus occupants shriek.

You were supposed to be on your way back to U.A., worrying about the sheer amount of revision you had to complete.

They’re terrified, fear so prominently displayed as another window fragments.

You weren’t supposed to be involved in a villain attack.

There’s a speechless agreement between the both of you as you make eye contact, and then, you smile, nodding your head confidently.

It’s go time.

You race to the passengers, quickly directing them to the door as Izuku rushes to the bus driver. Reassuring them with a calm smile, your brain kicks into gear as the bus skids to a stop. “You can let them out now!” Izuku shouts, jamming the button next to the steering wheel as he gets the bus driver out of his seat.

The sliding doors burst open just in time as the bus rocks sideways, making everyone tumble out of the bus with loud cries.

What was happening out there?

You grab onto one of the handrails as Midoriya forces the bus back to stability.

What was this person’s motive?

“Go find the villain!” You tell him, looking directly at Izuku as he leads the bus driver to you. With an affirmative nod, he takes off through one of the broken windows. Thankfully, no one seemed hurt, just shaken up from the attack. One flash of your hero license alleviates some of the worry in their eyes as they thank you.

Still, you dutifully check if everyone was okay, making sure to head back in when a lady told you she’d left her purse behind. The police are coming now, handling the situation of the now broken down bus by the side of the road. “There was an attack on the bus.” You explain, flashing your hero license when they stop you.

“I’m grabbing a women’s belongings for her. Deku should be coming back with the villain now.”

Green sparks fly not so far in the distance, putting your heart at ease. Great, he was on his way back.

A foot into the bus makes you stop short. A single person is standing between shattered glass, blood pooling out of his hand. He’s in his late 20s, but he’s shaking violently with clenched fists, paying no mind to his bleeding fingers.

Had you missed someone while you were ushering the passengers out?

You swore that no one was left here.

“Are you okay?” You ask, holding a hand out to him with another practised smile. “Here, let me help you out—”

“It’s you,” he spits, eyes shielded by his raven black hair. A perplexed expression overcomes your features, eyebrows crunched together in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“It’s you,”

What—?

A flash of silver gets your hand to be retracted fast, alarm bells blaring loudly in your head as you stumble back and take on a fighting stance.

Not a civilian, not a civilian at all.

“I can’t believe it!” His dark laughter echoes through the bus as he whips the knife downward. “We flipped an entire bus and we still didn’t get you!”

Eyes wild, grin crazed.

Grabbing his arm, you twist his hand into a lock and hiss into his ear. “Who are you?” You snarl, grip firm. “What do you want from me?”

“I can’t believe you became a hero!” He cackles, slicing at your arm with flexibility you didn’t account for. He rearranges your position in a split second, slamming your head down on glass fragments. They pierce your skin and make wince, struggling as he leans in to whisper in the shell of your ear.

“You threw my brother into jail,” He growls, digging his knee into your back. “You and that crybaby green-haired boy ruined my life by taking the only family, the only person I had away from me,” He hisses, clenching his dagger harder over your head..

“Hero?” He continues, tone mocking as you struggle against him, “You call yourself a hero? You tore a life apart before you even got into middle school, brat. Tell me what’s so heroic about that?”

Okay, well that answered your question. He wants to kill you. But who was his brother? With this guy’s raven black hair and ice-blue eyes, you were sure that you’ve never seen someone like this at all—

A dagger is plunged into your shoulder blade, and all thoughts go up in flames.

Blinding agony grapples you like hot wax coating your bones, and you throw him off your body instinctively the moment black spots dance across your eyes. You bite your lip so hard you tasted blood.

He takes the knife with him, and now all you can see is red, blanketing your hands as you frantically cover your wound with a sharp inhale and a shaky whimper. “I don’t—” You grimace again, struggling to get on your feet. “I don’t know who your brother is—”

“Liar!” He refutes, machete dripping with blood. He points it at you accusingly, eyes brimming with blazing fury. “He had a powerful mental quirk that could erase people from someone’s mind on an annual occurrence. You think I knew about this? Not even the slightest hint! I only knew how he put bread on the table when he got sent to Tartarus.”

The man’s hands are shaky, smile deranged as he laughs loudly. He’s lost his mind. “You rascals were the reason I lost the one person that cared for me!”

His final words are puzzle pieces that cause your breath to hitch. In a flash, the pain in your shoulder blade isn’t the only thing that hurts. You step closer with a shaky step, voice a whisper. “Your brother took Zuku’s memories of me…?”

“And I’ll take your emotions too,” He bites back, grin feral. “My quirk allows me to shut down one emotion of my choice permanently. All I need is enough of your DNA for my quirk to take effect. I’ll make sure your eternal suffering remains eternal, and even if your precious friend gets his memories back you’ll never experience joy ever again.” He holds up his dagger again, pearly white teeth showing. “One more stabbing ought to do it, don’t you think?”

In a flash, you’re in front of him, kicking him into one of the seats of the bus and pinning him there with an arm. Anger roars through your veins, and you have to keep your emotions in check because, gosh, you want to pummel this man to smithereens.

Grabbing him by his collar, your eyes sear holes into his. “You think I asked for this? You think I wanted to get involved with your stupid brother’s mess of a quirk?” Blood rushes to your ears as you’re pushed back to the ground, back onto glass fragments on the bus floor. The villain snaps. “My brother’s quirk was the strongest—”

“So you had to shatter window panes 10 years later to prove that?” You bit back, tears welling up in your eyes. Fear had taken the back seat as overwhelming emotions of sadness and loss cause your voice to go rag. This man’s brother didn’t deserve mercy, he deserved what he got.

“You had to endanger the lives of everyone on this bus? Because of something that happened a decade ago?”

“The fact that you’re saying that means that you can’t look at the bigger picture,” He growls, the hand gripping the dagger lifted high.

He choaks out, voice pained. “You should have died in the war,”

The dagger whips down, and you brace for the explosive pain at your arm—

Green sparks knock the weight off you with a strong tackle, causing your eyes to snap open.

Izuku had arrived.

One glance at your bleeding shoulder and the tainted dagger in the hoodied guy’s hands has wrath clouding Izuku’s eyes over.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Izuku snarls, kicking the knife out of the villain’s hand. The green haired doesn’t curse, so whenever he does it’s a flashing red neon sign that he’s simmering with rage. His aura was stifling.

“So you’re the up-and-coming Symbol of Peace,” The raven-haired chuckles resentfully at Izuku, squirming, but he’s no match for One For All. “I never knew you could make a face like that—”

“How about you shut that filthy mouth of yours before I twist your arm off?” His voice is low, ice-cold. “I caught your little friend over there without breaking a sweat. If you don’t learn when to shut up, I’ll teach it to you.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” The raven-haired hisses back.

“Oh yeah? Try me,” Izuku twisted his arms tighter, eyes dark. It took the villain a full 10 seconds to realise Izuku wasn’t kidding.

You wheeze, shattered glass digging into your skin. “Zuku, don’t—” Another whimper escapes you, snapping your childhood friend out of his murderous thoughts.

“You’re lucky Starlight was here,” Izuku bites out, handling him more roughly than necessary. You’re losing blood fast, and you don’t know how long you sit there with black dots dancing over your eyes until a tuff of green hair appears in your peripheral vision. “Hey, he’s gone now,” His voice is gentle, hand grasping yours. “I’ll get you to the hospital and call Recovery Girl asap, can you—”

“Zuku, there’s a woman waiting on me. Her purse is here somewhere, I need to pass it to her—”

“Not a chance,” He says firmly, carrying you as tenderly as he could manage. “I’ll do it. Just give me ten seconds,” He promises.

“W-Wait—” You tug his hand, ”Here…” You guide it into your pocket, and it makes him frown.

“Starlight, now is no time for—” He stops short when his hands seize the note. Splatters of blood are on the paper as he reads it with wide eyes of confusion. You don’t expect anything less, until a light bulb goes off in his head because it snaps to you with all the precision as a wound-up toy. Eyebrows crunched together, you look up at him with hazy eyes. What was that expression supposed to mean?

“How did you—”

The black dots consumes your vision completely, as Izuku’s voice tunes out to silence.

--

I don’t know why, but every time I’m with you, it’s a special feeling. Like a nostalgic burst even though we’ve only known each other for one year. It feels kind of silly, but I feel like we’ve met before. P.s., how did you know I was feeling like that? Do you have something to do with it?

-Izuku

Chapter Text

I’m not really up to talking now. Give me a day, and we can discuss your note. But just…leave me alone for the night.

“L/n will be out today as she got into a fight on her way back to the dorms yesterday. Although I’m sure many of you already know that.” Aizawa flips his file open and stands at the lectern, eyebags on broad display. “She’ll be back tomorrow—”

“Aizawa-sensei, where’s Bakugou?”

Eijiro had beat Izuku to the question the moment he saw the empty seat in front of him. It was unlike Katsuki to skip class.

“He’s taking care of her because she’s out of the dorms today. We don’t want a repeat of yesterday.”

Izuku feels a little insulted by that. It felt as if Aizawa had chosen Katsuki over him because he had more faith that the explosive boom boom man could take better care of you than he could. He knows that wasn’t the case, but a twinge of jealousy still settled in his heart and refused to leave.

He tried to gloss over everything that happened the best he could when his classmates asked yesterday, but it still got Katsuki leaving the dorms even though visitor hours were ending in mere minutes. He wasn’t back until the sky was dark either.

And that’s when he backtracks. Wait*, out of the dorms*? You just recovered from a huge amount of blood loss and a knife to the shoulder blade! How could Aizawa allow you to leave again? “She’ll be back by nightfall with Bakugou.”

Roars of questions and raise hands fill the classroom as Tenya attempts to calm everyone down with his excessive, robotic arm gestures. It doesn’t work.

“Enough!” Aizawa shouts, eyes glowing red.

The class is consumed by pin-drop silence in under 5 seconds.

“If anything, you should worry about yourselves. Summer holidays might be coming up, but with all the lost time due to the war, you’ll have to brave extra remedial classes to get up to speed. Discuss this incident in your free time. Class dismissed.”

Izuku wonders if you’ve read his note. There’s something stirring inside of him again, the strange feeling like something wasn’t quite right, like you were hiding something big from him. His head throbs, causing him to wince. But he’d given his word to wait, didn’t he?

He frowns and slumps in his seat. He’ll just have to check in with you after school.

--

Last Night

“You don’t seriously expect me to go along with this,” Aizawa sighs, eyebrow raised in genuine amusement.

“Sure, you’re being discharged tomorrow morning if the tests run are clear, but that doesn’t mean you can go gallivanting off wherever you want. If anything, you should be at the dorms, resting.”

“Sir, I need to see him again.” You insist. “I do it every year, and the connection between yesterday’s attack and my past with Izuku is only going to cause more problems if we can’t figure out a way to break his Quirk.”

“I’m not compromising U.A.’s students’ safety for this,” Aizawa deadpans, “You’re going through a tough time now, and the guy took you by surprise. You’re still learning, so I’ll give you a free pass on that, too. But going out to Tartarus is like walking straight into a lion’s den.”

“Then I’ll walk into the den with her.”

Both of your eyes flicker to the blond leaning on the side of the infirmary’s door frame, eyes sharp and arms folded. “Tartarus, eh? Sure, let’s do it.”

“Kacchan can help me then!” You jump in. “All Might can drive us there. We’ll only talk to him for an hour, you know how the procedure usually goes.”

Aizawa doesn’t say anything, simply staring at Katsuki like he was something he pulled off his shoe.

“I’m the only one actually caught up with the curriculum, aside from that green mop-headed nerd.” Katsuki shrugs. “A day wouldn’t hurt to miss for something this big.”

The next day, two forms of approval to leave the dorms were set by your makeshift bedside table.

--

Present

“And I was hoping that with the shenanigans of the outside world, you’d finally lose hope and I’d be free from your annual torment,” The villain, Isamu Suzuki, sighs, strapped down to a metal chair. “I see you brought a friend with you today.”

“I’m just here to make sure that she doesn’t have to do this alone. So don’t you dare pull some weird psychological shit, got me?” Katsuki says, tone cold, before flopping down on his armchair. Now that he’s in front of you, you can sort of see the family resemblance. His hair was longer than before, blond hair running past his shoulders. But he had the same ice-blue-like eyes as his brother you met not 24 hours ago.

“You really are a lucky girl,” Isamu sighs, making you stiffen. “Not only do you have that green-haired imp as a friend, but you also have one of the most volatile people on the planet helping you through something as trivial as this.”

“Shut it, asshole,” Katsuki grits out, crimson eyes staring daggers at the villain. “I ain’t the one on the other side of this glass, am I?”

Isamu goes quiet at that.

“We captured your brother yesterday.” You start, and it makes the blue-eyed villain’s eyes snap to you. “He was trying to avenge you.” You leaned back, not letting an inch of fear cloud your voice. “He wanted to kill me.”

“Where is he?” He demands, eyes glaring at you. “What did he do—?”

“Then tell me how to release Izuku from your Quirk,” You offer, standing firm. “You have nothing to lose. I don’t see why you have the persistence to hold out for over 6 years.”

“Don’t play mind games with me, brat.” He sneers, turning his head away. “You’ve been haggling with me for the past half-decade. Do you really think I’ll tell you what you want just like that? Fat chance.”

Staring at the scene playing out in front of him, Katsuki’s hands start to steam. “Do you want to know about your shitty brother or not?”

Isamu’s expression changes, dulling a little. Then, his lips curl into a hair-raising smile. “You know, I saw him back when All For One freed all of Tartarus.” His eyes are small, beady and knowing. “Deku, right? Your precious Zuku captured me in 5 minutes flat while he was on his rampage.”

My eyebrows twitch, and I remain silent.

“He didn’t even recognise me, even though it’s only been 5 years.” He continues, adding insult to injury. “I’m not surprised, though. He always did have a heart of a hero…” He pauses for a pregnant moment, eyes glowing bright blue.

“Just like when he protected you all those years ago.”

“Quit talking about it like that,” You mutter, voice low. “We were just kids.”

“Kids that threw me in jail,” he sighs, “You’ve always been a lucky girl, having him save you like that.”

And for some reason, that’s the line that makes you snap.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” You explode, hands fisting the armchair’s thick leather. “Did you think I wanted to get involved? I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it costed me Zuku’s memories. Why did you erase his memories that day? Why did you choose me?”

Your eyes well up with unshed tears, and you feel Katsuki’s hand on your shoulder. A silent form of support you didn’t have the time to appreciate.

“If the asshole’s getting to you, we should go. Don’t force yourself to be in the same room as this asshole for too long,” he whispers, voice warm and coaxing.

That day replays in your mind like rusty DVD tape, static lining your memories as you recall your last day with him before even reaching middle school.

It’s painful.

--

15th July, 6 years ago. (10 years old)

“Starlight, come on! Slow down—”

“Not a chance!” You replied, pulling him along with an award-winning smile on your face. “It’s your birthday! I won’t let Kacchan ruin it just because he’s not here. We’ll have cake and I even got you a present—ooph!”

A man in his early 20s crashes into you, and you immediately recoil back as Izuku frantically catches you, eyes shining with concern. Big wads of cash fly in the air as money scatters.

“Are you alright?!” Izuku asks, voice hitching.

The man gets up on his feet and whips to the both of you. Eyes brimming with anger, he starts to pick up the cash as quickly as he could manage. “Shit, shit, shit—”

“He’s over there!” A policeman says, pointing over at the man in the baseball cap. Frantically, he grabs you by the arm and yanks you away from Izuku, making you cry out. Izuku scrambles to get you back, but when the man shouts, he goes frozen stiff. “One more step and this one gets the full blast of my quirk!”

You didn’t know it at that time, but he was bluffing about having a quirk that could murder people. With everything flying by so fast, no one probably noticed how badly the robber was shaking, or how his words were rushed and forced.

All you could think about at that moment was how much you didn’t want to die. If you’d just been looking at where you were going, none of this would have happened. Izuku would still be here with you, memories intact and untainted.

The next second is a chaotic one, because that’s when a hero shows up. There’s frantic shouting by the blue-eyed captor, repeating his phrase as you’re frozen stiff in his tight grip. You don’t even want to breathe, too scared that if you move a muscle, that would be your last movement at all.

More people come and the baseball hat dude is getting desperate. There’s a purse with wads of cash at his feet, and you can tell that he just wants to take it and flee. One small movement from the police pushes the baseball cap dude off the edge.

“I said stay back!” He yells frenziedly, activating his quirk.

That was the first time you ever thought: This is it. I’m going to die.

You wish it was something a little less conceited, about how Izuku or your parents felt to have their daughter sent back to them dead after a normal day of school.

That was the only thought that raced past in your mind as desperate arms pull you out of the baseball cap dude’s grasp.

You’re thrown on the hard pavement, the rocky ground causing your knee to bleed out. You don’t feel anything though, because your best friend had taken your place.

“Zuku—!” You wheeze, lunging for him, but it was too late.

The man’s quirk had activated, and Izuku’s head lolls over as his green eyes, full of fear but relief that you’re safe, flutter close. You grab his hand desperately, shaking him. The baseball cap dude doesn’t move as he’s yanked away from Izuku, and in a second he’s back and smirking at you as he’s dragged away from the scene.

“Don’t expect him to be the same when he wakes up,” He yells while getting shoved into a vehicle.

The heroes involve comfort you, but it doesn’t stop you from sobbing like a child, calling out your best friend’s name in loud, ragged sobs.

--

“I saw his memories of you,” He shakes his head in disgust, rolling his eyes. “There were many of you and that short-fused bomb over there—”

“Oi!”

“But it was mostly you.” Isamu continues without missing a beat. “I never saw such unwavering devotion from anyone, much less a child. He pushed you out of the way without hesitation, not even caring about what the consequence was.”

“You want to know why I chose you?” Isamu glares at you, practically spitting now. “It’s because he’d do anything to protect you, just like I’d do anything to provide for my brother,” He snarls, before his glare evaporates into a more sombre expression, expression softening. “And now look at where we both are.” He shrugs, a sad smile stretching across his face.

“They’re both gone.”

Katsuki’s hand on my shoulder is the only form of comfort you feel now. With his help, you stand up shakily, cheeks wet. “Don’t ever, compare my relationship with Zuku with you and your brother. We are nothing alike,” You hiss, turning heel to stalk out of the door. “We’re done here.”

“And I thought you were one of the kinder ones out of all these heartless heroes in the room.” He scoffs, “You still haven’t given me intel about my brother—”

“Your brother can burn in hell for all I care.”

With that, you slam the door shut behind you, and dissolve in Katsuki’s arms.

--

Izuku can’t read you when you get back. You sound fine, but you kept evading conversations pertaining to where you went all through dinner. That’s when the note comes in, so late that Izuku had completely forgotten about its existence. It’s on his mug, the one he always uses whenever he’s working late into the night.

I’m not really up to talking now. Give me a day, and we can discuss your note. But just…leave me alone for the night.

Chapter Text

I didn’t sleep well last night. Could we talk after school? Please?

-Izuku

You sigh as you rub your face, nodding your head. Izuku had given you the note with hopeful eyes the minute you stepped foot into the classroom. This was the price you had to pay for blowing him off for an entire day.

It wasn’t that you wanted to, you just had to…organise your thoughts. Katsuki was a good person to have through it. The entire car ride home, he’d allowed you to lean into his side as he pats your once-injured shoulder. He’d be a good older brother if he wasn’t the only child.

“Rooftop, 3 pm?” He asks, and you nod again. You open your mouth to tell him something, but then you close it again.

Your voice is thick, and everything you want to tell him is stuck in your windpipe.

Finally, you manage a, “See you later,” before slumping down on your seat and try to catch a nap before homeroom starts.

--

“So…” Izuku laughs nervously, fiddling with his thumbs. Wind blows his messy curls around, ruffling them up even more as he addresses his questions head-on. “Is there something you’re not telling me? I understand if don’t want to, but—”

“The feeling,” You interrupt. “Can you…tell me what it feels like? The feeling you told me about after the villain attack?”

Izuku frowns, but he relents. “I described it in my note. Nostalgic. Easy to talk to, and someone…” He pauses. “Like someone I met before.” So close.

Your breath is shaky and biting the bullet, you blurt out, “I was at Tartarus yesterday.”

“WHAT?” Izuku squawks, before slapping his hand on his mouth immediately. “That’s where you and Kacchan went yesterday?”

He sounds so surprised that it is almost accusing. Quickly, you defend yourself. “All Might was with us—”

“All Might was with you?”

Crap. If this was an otome game, you would have chosen the wrong dialogue option.

You inhale deeply first, before exhaling. “I used to have this friend, I told you about him, right? The one that played the first version of Secrets with me.”

“You mentioned him.” Izuku lowers himself back to his seat, still weary.

“He got hit by a quirk of a guy in there. My friend may be gone, but—” You wince internally, “I wanted to know what happened. The villain said a couple of things that…got to me. I didn’t want to make you worried yesterday.”

“Well, you failed at doing that, but,” Izuku scoots closer, rubbing your shoulder. “I appreciate the thought.”

“I didn’t mean to keep you up yesterday,” You admit, eyes averted. “Sorry about that.”

You’re sorry about a lot of things.

“Don’t apologise,” He scolds, shaking his head. “If anything, I’m surprised you don’t find my description of you creepy.”

“Zuku, you’ve done weirder things,” You sigh, staring directly in front of you. Maybe if you don’t look at him, you won’t have to deal with everything that was going on.

You wish.

Yesterday was a stark reminder of what had started this mess, and now, you can’t get it out of your head.

You finally make eye contact with Izuku, seeing traces of his old self in him now.

He was always so caring, and curious.

Always the first one you’d tell if something was wrong.

Except, you can’t exactly do that now, can you?

--

(The day right after he found out he was quirkless)

“Zuku?” You glance around the clearing, picnic basket in hand. “I know you’re here, Zuku. There’s no point in hiding.”

There’s a pregnant pause, before Izuku peeks out from behind a tree.

“I made sandwiches,” You say, holding the basket out. “Mind if I join you?”

“Only for the sandwiches,” He mutters, slumping down again.

You don’t say anything that entire time you were there, simply letting him cry as you hug him tightly and listen.

It seems like he’s always the one doing that for you now.

--

Izuku frets over your shoulder even more on the roof. You check up with each other, and that’s when you realise: This is it. It’s going to be one of the last times this year that you’re ever going to have conversations this easy with Izuku.

Sure, he warmed up quickly, but each version of him wasn’t the same. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and each time you became friends with Izuku again, you felt your relationship getting even more distant.

This year was the only exception because you’d been through a war together.

And now you were going to lose him. All over again.

“You don’t have to tell me now,” You snap out of your thoughts and glance his way, startled. Izuku continues without pause, “Is the reason I feel like something’s off because of you?” He looks at me curiously, and all you can think about is how that curiosity was mirrored in his eyes so many years ago.

It’s been way too long, hasn’t it?

“Yes.”

It flies out of your mouth before you can even think, and the lack of sleep must really be getting to you because you swear a hint of recognition glimmers in his eyes for just a second.

When you blink again, however, it’s gone.

“Oh.” He mumbles. “Okay.”

What you would give to get him to remember him.

--

I don’t want you to find out why you feel like something’s missing. I’m afraid that if you get to close to the truth, you’ll only forget it all over again.

Chapter Text

I had a weird dream. Can we talk about it? I think it has something got to do with you.

-Izuku

--

“Kacchan!” Izuku cried, glancing around him frantically. Trees loomed all around him, lush greenery making every way he turned to look the same.

“Kacchan!”

Birds were chirping, cicadas screeching as he wandered through the forest while tears brim in his eyes.

How was he going to get home?

Was he going to be lost forever?

What if he—

Izuku tripped over a tree branch and yelped, falling face-first into a couple of bushes. Falling straight through with a cry, he hits the grass with a soft thud, tears finally bubbling over the low dam keeping his emotions at bay.

“Hey!” Someone called out, making him whip behind so fast he thought he’d broken his neck. His tears dry up almost immediately at the sound of a human voice.

Their face is blurry, like someone had taken a black crayon and scribbled their face out of the picture.

Izuku’s puffy red eyes make them chuckle before they put a finger on their lips. “Someone’s going to hear you, y’know. If you do that, that’ll ruin my secret clearing.”

“Who are you?” Izuku croaked, bruised by his fall.

The person shakes their head, sticking out a hand to him. “I’m—”

The cicadas shriek even louder, volume rising higher than the person’s voice. It morphs into a shrill, long ring, and the green-haired’s eyes shut at the ear-piercing sound, and discomfort, trying to focus on the person’s voice.

The alarm blaring makes Izuku shoot up from his bed, eyes snapping open. They’re frenzied, wild, and disoriented, and when he clenches his shirt, he can hear his heart pounding in his ears.

A tear slips down his face.

What the hell was that?

--

“Katsuki told me he’d join us,” You say the moment you get to the rooftop, throwing him an isotonic drink. You have another clutched in your hands, which you keep in your grasp. “You know, for your birthday. I don’t know why he told me, though. Didn’t you ask him?”

He catches it reflexively. “I texted him,” He corrected absentmindedly, eying the bottle like it was going to burst. “He left me on read.”

“Sounds like typical Katsuki,” you shrug, opening your bottle.

“If this thing explodes in my face, I’ll blame it on you,” Izuku warns, fingering the cap dangerously. “I don’t have an extra set of clothes, and there’s no way that I’m running to the dorms and back for laundry.”

“Oh, please, stop being dramatic. You could run there and back in less time than Kaminari can add 1+1.” You sigh. Green eyes meet yours, and that’s when you realise: Something’s not right.

“What’s up with that look? Does it have something to do with my note yesterday?”

“Yes and no.” He drawls inattentively, eyes pinned to the ground. “Well, I guess you could say that it is, since you’ve been writing really cryptic messages lately….not that I mind or anything! I’m just concerned, is all. As a friend! I hate it whenever you feel bad. But I got a weird dream yesterday and it’s living in my mind rent-free now. I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean, or who it’s about, but for some reason, I feel like it’s got something to do with you. Every time I think about it now, though, it just gets fuzzier. I tried to pen it down and everything—”

“Zuku, you’re rambling,” You remind him gently, placing a hand on his hand to get him to stop. As fast as lightning, he retracts his hand and mumbles out a flustered apology, and it pulls your lips down into a frown. You backtrack to what he said, and you try to squash the flame of hope that had kindled at the bottom of your heart. Dreams? Does this mean—?

“It’s just—I don't know! They started the day after the Villain Attack. I can’t remember them, but—” he breaks off, head throbbing. “There’s always a feeling there. And it’s always the same one I get when I’m with you.”

Your voice hitches, digesting the new information. You hesitate for a second, wondering if you should push the barriers of the quirk. The last few times you’d tried to introduce the idea of the Quirk Accident to him too quickly, he reacted badly to it. Whether it was physical denial…or the Quirk’s side effects.

“You have two options: The helpful one, or the fun one. Choose now.” You demand.

Izuku raises his eyebrow. “What’s the fun one?”

“Are you choosing the fun one?”

“That depends,” He says thoughtfully. “If it’s something I don’t like, can I open this in your face?”

“Hell no!” You bark, relaxing slightly. At least he was feeling well enough to crack jokes.

“I’ll choose the fun one,” He sighs, running a hand through his messy green hair.

You’re off like a bullet train. “Zuku, have you seen…memories? Of things, you never remembered happening?”

You talk about it, and you carefully ease a couple of your childhood into the mix, just to gauge his reaction.

The minute he stops to clutch his head, you put your story on pause.

“You good?” You ask, a concerned arm being placed on his shoulder.

“Yeah, j-just…headache,” He smiles at you weakly, but you bite your lip in regret, your mood turning sour. You know what this means.

This conversation was over.

“I’ll meet you back in class.” You say, standing up. You find yourself staring at him in the eyes, taking the time to fully appreciate the recognition and understanding in his eyes…before turning away. “Drink that before you get back.”

The moment you’re gone, Izuku’s headache soothes. The twinge in his heart, however, doesn’t go away. Sighing, he opens the bottle away from his face.

The foam spills on the ground, overflowing past the lid. He can’t help but think of how well that described his emotions pooling out of him now.

--

You loved Izuku for your entire life. It wasn’t always in a romantic way, but because of his ever-present existence in your life, it made it difficult not to like him.

There was no one incident that made you realise you liked the broccoli head, but the Quirk Accident had caused your feelings to evolve without you realising it. It was a daily thing. Simple things like his sweet smile, his beautiful, expressive green eyes, and how genuine he was in a world full of liars.

He’d never hide a thing from you, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. Izuku used to be as transparent as glass, even though he isn’t like that in public anymore.

Izuku was there in all phases of your life in one way or another, tied by what you might call fate.

Time and time again, you reintroduced yourself with a smile to an Izuku that didn’t know you.

You’ve done it several times now, and it hurts like someone had cracked your ribcage.

It hurts to be near him, but it hurts even more to be away.

And you’ve learnt that each time he forgets you, you’d come back to him again, even though it cut like diamond shards.

You realised that at the young age of 10.

You only discovered it was something larger than platonic feelings in your 13th year on the planet.

When you hear him talk so excitedly about his dreams that you’ve heard a thousand times over.

When you get to reintroduce the clearing to him again, when you get to call him Zuku again, when he renames you as Starlight…

Shit, you laugh to yourself, when he calls you Starlight once more. I like him.

Secrets tumble out in the form of childish Post-it notes.

I like your eyes.

I like the nickname.

I wish you knew.

That was the only way.

To convey how you felt, to communicate your feelings to him…could only be done in the form of Secrets.

--

I like your kindness, even though it causes people to take advantage of you sometimes. P.s. I hope your headache feels better. I’m a door away if you wanna talk.

Chapter Text

I’m actually pretty excited! This will be my first time spending my birthday with someone other than Kacchan! I’m so glad that it’s with you too.

-Izuku

You stare at the note on your door, taking note of everything. The way you pluck the green post-it note off and hide it in your pocket. The way your lips naturally curve upwards when you read his words of painful, blissful obliviousness of his tone to you.

You cherish it, remember it, hoard the memories you share with him because if he can’t remember them, you’ll have to do it for the both of you.

“It’s not your first time, though…” You sigh, tracing the paper with trembling fingers.

With all these firsts for him, it’ll be your last before his memory is wiped again.

“You’re lucky I love you, Zuku.”

--

You fully expect something to go wrong today in class when Aizawa asks you to stay back for a talk. Izuku shoots you a worried look, to which you reply with your own confused one with a shrug. He then points at the door, signalling that he was going to wait outside, and you nod your head, smiling at your silent conversation.

Little quirks like this were things you’d reintroduced, and it made it even more sweeter when Izuku gives you a blindingly bright smile in return.

Ochaco looks between the both of you and frowns, everything communicated completely flying over her head.

Curiously, you make your way to Aizawa’s sleeping bag with your bag slung over your shoulder.

“You wanted to see me, Aizawa-sensei?”

He slides his papers into his file, not glancing up once. “How are you holding up?”

The question catches you off guard and causes you to sputter out a, “Sorry, what?” which gets Aizawa rolling his eyes.

“How are you holding up?” He repeats, not a drop of condescension in his voice.

It makes you ease a little, and feel a little touched. Aizawa had always been hard to read, but it was made abundantly apparent that the students that didn’t get expelled in the first 2 months of his class were safely guided to his “I care about these idiots club”.

And the fact that he knew about the Quirk Accident gave him all the more reason to keep an eye on you during this time of the year.

“Not great,” You admit, wrapping your arms around yourself. “But I’ll make it through. I always do.”

“A car can make its way through a hurricane, but it’ll look all banged up with stains and dents. I don’t want the same to happen to you.”

“Yeah, well,” You smile sadly, eyes meeting his. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

Aizawa doesn’t flinch. Instead, he stares back and replies. “Bakugou has informed me of whatever you’ve learnt from the visit to Tartarus, but I suspect he withheld a little information from me. I assume it was personal because he would tell us if it was important.”

The hardened look in his eyes softened. “Have you been going for your scheduled therapy sessions to at least time someone about it?’

“I haven’t been going at all,” You confess. “I didn’t want to spend the better half of this month talking about this with her,” The ‘her’ was referring to your therapist, who was kind and patient and always willing to hear you out.

When you see Aizawa’s gaze start to harden, you quickly add. “I’ll need a whole lot more sessions after Izuku’s birthday. I don’t want to lose a second because of my problems—”

“L/n, not everything revolves around Midoriya. Your problems are way more important than him.”

“Izuku is my problem!” You counter. “But I get what you’re saying. And uh, thanks. For, you know,” You pause thoughtfully. “Checking up on me.”

“A lot of people care about you, L/n. Including Katsuki and me. Don’t try to do this all alone.” Aizawa says, a rare smile emerging. But just as fast as it came, it left.

Finally, you bow your head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

--

“You’ve definitely gotten faster,” You pout, guzzling water like your life depended on it.

Currently, you both were chilling on a bench and enjoying the wind. One of your first bonding activities last year was going for runs around the U.A. facilities. It didn’t require talking, nor did it require interaction. But you were always there trying to make him laugh, no matter what occasion.

He always did, on one of those runs. “We should do this more often. It’s the first time in a long while since we got to do this.” Izuku comments, tipping the lid of the bottle to his mouth too. “Honestly, I don’t know why we stopped.”

Your last run with him, on the country. He didn’t have to know that, though.

Izuku didn’t have to know a lot of things.

On one particularly hard day, a day when both your brains had been fried and both your bodies were on the verge of going boneless, you had stopped by a nearby bench to take a break. Curiously, you still gave him a bright smile after the run.

Wind blows the hair in your ponytail around wildly as you grin at him cheekily.

“Watch this,” You told him, patting a nearby tree. It’s steady and strong, but your next move horrifies him when you start climbing like a monkey, settling atop a tree branch like an animal that belonged there.

“Get down from there!’ Izuku had insisted, the gentle gale picking up into a warm, summer breeze. “Y-You shouldn’t do that! This is school property—!”

“I’m not breaking anything,” You grin cocksurely, eyes looking deep into his like it was a challenge. “There’s no rule in the school handbook saying that you couldn’t climb on trees. Besides, it’s cooler up here.”

As if to emphasise your point, you lean your head upward and relish the pleasant breeze.

You’d looked so calm and assured, confident in your own ability with a mentality as strong as a fortress.

How could he not like you?

It wasn’t in a romantic way, at least not at that time and not yet now.

But it was something about your innocent outlook and your eyes closed as you enjoy the wind that made him want to climb up there with you too.

“Let’s go for more runs together after my birthday,” Izuku smiles, looking at you with expectant eyes. “It’ll be the first time in a long while.”

You mirror the smile the best you can, not wanting to lie. “Whatever you say, Zuku.”

--

I have a present for you. It’ll be your first present that you receive from me, and the last one I give to you.

Chapter Text

My mother likes you already. I’ve mentioned you a lot, and I think she admires you just as much as I do now.

-Izuku

--

“Are you ready?” Katsuki asks, backpack slung over his shoulder as he barges into your room. You raise an eyebrow as he throws his bag down on the floor and plops down beside you, bearing not the slightest hint of awkwardness.

You raise a questioning eyebrow at him. “I thought we were only going off in an hour,” You say, shoving an extra set of clothes into your bag.

“We are. I just came to check up on you. You know,” Katsuki replies, eyeing the calendar that sits on your desk. “Before tomorrow.”

Katsuki knows how it’s going to go. He’s seen it before. It’s all smiles and cheer as Izuku blows out his birthday candles before he forgets everything we built up over the last year.

He knows, and that’s why he’s here.

“Thanks, Kacchan,” You sigh, digging through one of your drawers. “Means a lot to me.”

“I know that, shithead!” He barks, watching you resume packing. “Why’d you think I said yes to coming along?”

You pause when your fingers grasp a sun hat you’d hidden away. Taking it out for the first time since getting to the dorms, you smile as you trace the fabric gently.

“Zuku was always too thoughtful for his own good.” You mutter, putting the floppy cap on your head and studying yourself in the mirror. “He’s lucky he’s got you so that he doesn’t set himself on fire to keep others warm.”

“He’s got you too, you know,” Katsuki raises an eyebrow, watching you adjust the hat. “You can actually fit that now. Looks good.”

The hat had been the last thing Izuku had given to you.

In the heat of the summer and the blinding sun, you’d complained of the sunlight almost daily during the summer. A day later, you find a meticulously wrapped-up sun hat given to you the next day. You’d shredded the wrapping paper and melted into a puddle of goo when you saw the beautiful gift.

It was a tad too big for your head and kept slumping down whenever you wore it, but you loved it anyway.

Now, it was a perfect fit.

“He does,” You agree, admiring the pretty white bow tide around the hat.

“You know, I gave you gifts too, right?” Katsuki snorts, raising an amused eyebrow at you.

“Yes, I do. I still have your sunglasses, Kacchan.”

“Just tryna lighten the mood, Starlight. Hate seeing you depressed.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m trying to get all the depressing feelings out today so that I can focus on being happy tomorrow. I have no time to mope around when it’s Izuku’s special day.”

“It’s a birthday, not a marriage!” Katsuki retorts. “The nerd can live one second without you being considerate of him—”

“It’s not for him, Kacchan.” You croak. Your tone makes him stop, gaze trailing to you. “It’s for me.”

And that’s when Katsuki whips his head to you, and has a really good look at you. Your dumb floppy hat hides your face well, but when you tilt it upward, Katsuki can see everything.

Your eyebags are as bad as Shinso’s, and now that he thought about it, he could hear the exhaustion creeping back into your voice like a leech sucking the life out of you. Your face was pale, lack of sleep prominent. At this point, Katsuki isn’t sure if he should drag you by your heels to go back to your regular therapy schedule.

“Shit,” Katsuki yanks himself up and throws the cap on your bed, wrapping his arms around you to show you that you have someone here, and that you don’t have to do all of this alone.

But you do, to a certain extent.

The minute the hat’s off, the dam breaks, and tears slip down your face like a fountain leaking like a broken fountain.

“I don’t wanna do this,” You whisper brokenly, sobbing into his shoulder. “I don’t want him to go again.”

“I know.”

“What if he doesn’t like me after tomorrow? What if he keeps me at arm’s length the next time he sees me? He was already starting to do that before the war—”

“Izuku will always like you,” Katsuki confirms. “There is no way he’d hate you. Trust me. I’m always right, yeah?” He waits for a sign of agreement, of which you snort to, but he takes it.

“I know Izuku as well as you do. I know what I fucking say about the nerd. So believe me when I say that Izuku’s gonna come running back to you after a week in your presence.”

A week.

That seemed almost too far away.

“We’re going to get the nerd back eventually,” Katsuki softens, pulling away to look at you. “And after that, you and the nerd can suck face without me having to interfere to save his ass.”

You let out a ragged laugh, wiping your tears away. “Not funny, Kacchan.”

Katsuki shakes his head, giving you his usual, crazed grin.

“It got you laughing. I’d say it was funny enough.”

--

You and Izuku met when he got lost in the woods.

You’d heard someone your age crying out from your secret glade and had gone to investigate the source.

The closer you got, the louder he shouted, until suddenly, out popped a child from the bushes lining the clearing.

He was crying, a boy with wild green hair and bruises all over. A boy that had invaded your sanctuary.

“Hey!” You called out. He turned to you like a wild animal, bursting with relief. Chuckling at his reaction, you bring a finger up to your lips. “Someone’s going to hear you, y’know. If you do that, that’ll ruin my secret clearing.”

“Who are you?” He asked, voice a little ragged.

You shake your head and stick out a hand to him. “I’m Y/n. What’s your name?”

You’d clean his wounds the best you could with the lake’s water with a smile, enjoying the company of his wide-eyed admiration of heroes.

You’d hit off with him at the mention of that, even though he was a little banged up.

Taking him back to your hometown was a breeze, and after about a week of coming back here and hanging out, he’d introduced Katsuki to you too.

That clearing is still there, although it’s getting old. It’s growing up with the both of you, even though Izuku doesn't remember it at all.

--

“You’re alive!” Izuku teases you as you enter the living room with Katsuki at your side. There’s a carry-on secure on his back, and he continues without missing a beat. “Ready to go now?”

You glance back at the living room, remembering everything you’d done in the year with him: Study sessions for exams, the war, the movie night of Frozen when you’d fallen asleep with him there on that lime green couch. The couch was so stiff and uncomfortable, but that was the best sleep you’ve ever gotten in the past year.

You picture yourself washing dishes with him and flinging soap at each other, stealing each other's candy because Izuku has an unstoppable sweet tooth. You force yourself to remember everything, because the next time, it’d be different.

Taking a deep breath, you smile at Izuku with hands tightening on your bag strap. The sun hat is stuffed in there, taking up half the space of your pack.

“I’m ready.”

--

I made a promise to myself today. I won’t cry tomorrow. No matter how much I feel.

Chapter Text