Chapter Text
Aching, Lan moved uncomfortably on Mandarb’s back. His shoulder was killing him! And all because of this stupid Trolloc! Four Trollocs had surprised them while Moiraine had been sleeping. Lan had woken her as soon as he had felt the Shadowspawn, but the Aes Sedai had refused to leave her books behind. By the time they had packed everything necessary, the Trollocs had stormed their camp.
The uncrowned king of Malkier had ordered the Cairhien woman to leave, but again she had refused to listen. While he threw himself against the creatures, she touched the One Power and threw two fireballs. Screaming, the Shadowspawn lit up and ran away. Only the two unharmed monsters stayed.
Lan tried to keep the attention of both Trollocs by switching his attacks. But these creatures were interested in the woman behind him. The woman, who was already preparing her next attack.
Then the sword of a Trolloc crossed Lan’s while the other aimed for Moiraine. Lan remembered himself screaming, yelling at her to run. But did she listen?
Instead, she ducked when the Trolloc swung his poisonous blade. Once, twice – after the fifth time, Lan had stopped counting. She couldn’t avoid the blade forever.
So, Lan had left his opponent to kill the monster that was attacking his bondholder. Moiraine was already in a position where she had nowhere to run. He needed one strike – The Courtier taps his Fan – and the Trolloc was dead, but there was still one left.
Out of a sudden, the last creature stormed at Lan, roaring in anger and slamming him into the nearest tree. Pain shot through Lan’s body, and he lost his sword. He thought he heard Moiraine screaming, but it could’ve been just the ringing in his ears.
In the end, he was able to grab one of his daggers, hit the right spot in the Trolloc’s neck, then the fight was over. The woman of the Blue Ajah had been over him in the next second, checking on him, when they heard the roar of more Trollocs coming their way.
Moiraine had insisted on healing him, but Lan had refused to listen this time. Although his shoulder was on fire, he had placed her on Arrow’s back. He didn’t want to risk another fight.
Since then, they had barely taken a break. For hours, they had been riding, running away from the Shadowspawn. Whenever Lan had agreed to take a small break, Moiraine had tried to convince him to give her a moment to heal him, but the sound of the Trolloc army always forced them back in the saddle.
It had taken four hours until they didn’t hear any roaring anymore and two more before Lan was certain the Shadowspawn was gone. Yet, the uncrowned king of Malkier was still on high alert. For tonight, he wanted to know Moiraine behind secure walls, surrounded by silly and drunk people who would hopefully keep the creatures away.
He felt Moiraine’s stare in his back, warily watching him. Calmly, he looked at her. “What?”
“Let me heal you.”
Annoyed, the Warder turned his eyes back on the road. “There is no time.”
“I haven’t heard a Trolloc for hours. It won’t take long.”
“Healing exhausts you. I can’t risk that.”
“You’re in pain.”
“It’s nothing.”
The woman of the Blue Ajah growled at him. “You forget I can feel the pain through the bond!”
Lan grimaced angrily. He had forgotten! Quickly, he concentrated on entering Ko’di. This way, Moiraine wouldn’t…
“Don’t do that!” The touch of her hand on his arm broke his concentration, and he brought Cat Dancer to a halt. His Aes Sedai was furious. “I still know you’re in pain! Wrapping yourself in Ko’di doesn’t heal you! It diminishes the pain but also means you don’t realize when you reach your breaking point!”
Surprised, Lan blinked over her outburst. This hadn’t happened in a long time. It reminded him of the time when he had first met Moiraine. Back then, she had been more impulsive. Now, after almost a year of being bonded to her, she had become calmer.
Moiraine must have realized it, too, because she pulled back her hand and lowered her head. “I just….” Her hands convulsed around the reins. Arrow had stopped moving as soon as Cat Dancer had stopped. Finally, she whispered, “I would feel better if you would allow me to heal you.”
There was something else bothering her. It wasn’t just his injury worrying her. Through the bond, he felt… shame? Where was this coming from? Moiraine wasn’t the kind of woman who felt shame very often. Whatever it was, it made her stomach convulse painfully. This can’t be about the Trolloc attack, right? She has killed two Trollocs. Or is this because I got hurt? But she couldn’t prevent that.
“Moiraine.” Gently, Lan reached out and took her hand, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand. He didn’t know if she would like it – he was still trying to figure out not to cross any invisible lines – but she didn’t pull back or snap at him. In fact, he thought he felt an ease in her feelings and posture. His touch calmed her, so he continued with it.
Surprisingly, Lan noticed he enjoyed holding her hand. Her skin was so smooth under his calloused palms, and her hand seemed to fit perfectly into his. What would she do if he pressed a kiss on the back of her hand?
Moiraine’s eyes followed her hand when Lan slowly pulled it to his lips. He gave her all the time in the world to stop him, to shout at him, or to free her hand, but she didn’t. Curious, she watched their hands, not seeing that Lan always kept an eye on her face, searching for any sign of discomfort.
When his lips finally touched her skin, the Aes Sedai shivered slightly but not in revulsion. This small gesture warmed her like she never would have imagined. How could something like this make her feel better?
“Let us first find a place for the night, and then you can do whatever you like to nurse me back to health. Heal me, delve me, call a Wisdom or a Healer – I will do whatever you say.”
Moiraine raised an eyebrow doubtfully. “Whatever I’ll say, Gaidin?”
An amused smile danced around Lan’s lips, then he kissed her hand again. “Whatever my Aes Sedai needs to feel better.” His words brought a smile to Moiraine’s face.
But before they could continue, they heard branches breaking all around them. Immediately, Lan let go of her and drew his sword, his eyes scanning the trees. The road had taken a turn through a small forest, and they were surrounded by wild nature. And then the riders broke through the bushes.
“Aes Sedai!”
Lan cursed when he recognized the white color of the riders. Whitecloaks! Why hadn’t he noticed them?! And why hadn’t he shut his damn mouth?! They obviously had been listening to their conversation, and because of him, they knew Moiraine was an Aes Sedai.
“Ride!” the uncrowned king of Malkier growled while he watched the riders getting closer.
“Lan.”
He turned his head when he heard her alarmed voice. She had turned Arrow around but didn’t move. Her eyes were focused on something before her. More Whitecloaks came on horseback from behind him while others stepped out from behind the trees with their swords in their hands. They were surrounded and heavily outnumbered!
Cursing, his eyes searched for a gap – a way for Moiraine to escape – but there was none. The Whitecloaks had been well prepared.
Moiraine opened herself to Saidar, then waited for the Children of the Light to arrive. She couldn’t use the One Power until she or Lan were attacked, but she wanted to be prepared. And from their position, they had Lan’s eyes watching the front while she kept an eye on the ones coming from behind.
The commander of the group was the only one whose sword was still sheathed when the Whitecloaks stopped three feet before them. “Drop your sword and hand over the witch.”
“We don’t want to fight. Let us pass, and we won’t harm you.”
Lan’s threat didn’t scare these men. The commander simply shook his head. “This is your last warning, Warder. Drop your sword and give us the witch, or we will come and get her.”
“Touch her, and I’ll kill you!”
“Get her!” This was all what the Whitecloaks needed. A simple order, then they attacked.
Lan tightened the grip on his hilt, though his shoulder protested against his plan. Meanwhile, Moiraine’s fingers quickly wove strings of air together to create a barrier of air around her Warder and herself.
“Stop her!” one of the riders yelled as soon as they felt the wind on their skin.
The uncrowned king of Malkier swung his sword over Arrow’s back to keep the men on Moiraine’s side at distance. The wind around them became stronger, but the Whitecloaks could still reach them. Moiraine would need another moment before the barrier would stand.
Sadly, the Children of the Light on his side didn’t wait patiently for the woman to finish. Lan had to place his sword in his left hand to keep these men at distance.
“Bloody witch!”
The wind was stronger now, tearing on the white cloaks. Some of the men had to step back because the cloaks of their brothers nearly suffocated them. Others squinted their eyes when the wind picked up the dirt from the ground and blew it into their faces. Just a little more, and then these bastards can’t reach her anymore!
“You’re a sickness that needs to be erased!”
Oh, these Whitecloaks were pissed. They didn’t like Moiraine’s little magic trick. Well, they also wouldn’t be amused once…
Suddenly, Moiraine shrieked beside Lan, and in the next moment, the Warder felt a sharp pain on his temple. But when he lifted his fingers automatically, there was nothing, yet the pain was there.
The wind slowed around them, and Lan noticed Saidar had slipped Moiraine. Shocked, he turned to his bondholder. What happened? “Moiraine, what-?!”
Before he could finish his question, strong hands grabbed the uncrowned king of Malkier and pulled him from Cat Dancer. His warhorse neighed in anger – he didn’t like strangers – and even bit the arm of one Whitecloak, but they were hopelessly outnumbered.
Somehow Lan was able to free himself from his attackers, but he knew it was only a matter of time before they would disarm him.
“Come here!”
The uncrowned king of Malkier heard his Aes Sedai cursing in his back, followed by a loud thud. Lan grimaced. He didn’t like this thud. Especially since he felt a sharp pain in his right wrist at the exact same time. He had a bad feeling about what these men had done to Moiraine.
Growling, the Warder started to fight with his opponents. They had built a circle around him, but Lan knew how to attack to land a few hits. Sadly, this wasn’t enough. The fight against the Trollocs had left him exhausted, and his shoulder felt terrible. His movements seemed sloppy – even in his eyes – and he reacted way too late to deflect an attack.
One blade hit Lan’s left thigh, and groaning, he went down on his knees. Before he could pull up his arm in defense, the fist of a Whitecloak crashed into his face, sending him to the ground. From his new position, the uncrowned king of Malkier could at least see what was going on with the woman of the Blue Ajah.
Moiraine was on her feet, but the Whitecloaks had built a circle around her. She had nowhere to run and couldn’t use the One Power that quickly. One man tried his luck by grabbing her arm, but the Aes Sedai freed herself. Sadly, her movement only brought her closer to another Whitecloak, who grabbed her too. Slowly, her attackers closed in on her, giving her no room to fight.
Lan growled, but strong hands grabbed his arms and pulled him up before he could get back on his feet. “Let go of me!” His struggles were weak, and his sword lay to his feet. There was no use in fighting. He didn’t have the strength to fight. But he needed to help Moiraine. The Whitecloaks were still playing with her. He had to save her! “Leave her alone!”
Would these men kill her instantly? Or would they torture her? Lan had only heard stories about what the Children of the Light did to Aes Sedai. He and Moiraine had never talked about the possibility of what they would do if they should be captured. Was there a way to convin-?
A sudden stab of pain in his chest cleared Lan’s brain. Surprised, his eyes moved down his body until they fell on the hilt of a dagger stuck between his ribs. Confused, Lan stared at the weapon. This didn’t belong there. Where had it been coming from? And who had left him this special gift?
“No!”
Moiraine’s cry made Lan lift his head. His Aes Sedai was pale like a ghost, and her eyes were wide open in shock. Panic rushed through the bond, and Lan realized she must have felt his pain.
“Lan!”
The woman of the Blue Ajah fought against the grip of her attackers, trying to get to her Warder – useless. The Whitecloaks didn’t let go of her.
Lan noticed it became harder for him to breathe. His attacker must have hit his lung. Regret filled him when he understood what this meant. Moiraine had no chance to get to him, which meant she couldn’t heal him. In a few minutes, he would be dead.
But he didn’t feel regret because his time had come. No, he felt bad because he couldn’t have saved Moiraine! He had promised to keep her safe, and then he failed her like this. They weren’t even bonded for a year as Aes Sedai and Warder, yet he managed to get her killed. He was a terrible Warder!
“I won’t drag him all the way to the camp. These Warders are stubborn bastards. He would have fought against us, and we only have to take the witch with us.”
Lan’s attacker pulled the dagger out of his chest with a disgusted look on his face. “May your soul learn not to trust those witches in your next life.”
The Warder coughed, and blood landed on the white clothes of his opponent. This wasn’t good. His lung filled itself with blood.
Moiraine screamed angrily, and then the air was filled with other screams – the screams of injured men. Somehow, the Aes Sedai had managed to relieve a man of his dagger and wasn’t scared to use it. Furious, she sliced everything close to her, freeing herself from the Children of the Light.
As soon as they no longer held her arms, Moiraine also used her fists to create as much damage as possible – and she was successful! It didn’t take long, and all of these young men were bleeding from countless cuts on their bodies, and some even lay on the ground, whining like babies.
The Whitecloak who had stabbed Lan cursed when he saw what was happening. “Forget the Warder! Get her!”
When the men let go of him, Lan sank to one knee. His fingers touched the hilt of his sword. Maybe he wasn’t in the best condition for a fight, but these guys had made a big mistake by turning their backs on him. And he wanted to be damned if he wouldn’t use this opportunity. He wouldn’t survive this, but maybe Moiraine had a chance to save herself.
Before the Whitecloaks knew what was happening to them, Lan had picked up his sword and executed his attackers. Then a new cough attack brought him down to his knees. He could barely breathe with the blood in his lungs. His eyes fell on the remaining Whitecloaks, but his brain knew he wouldn’t stand up again. His fight was over.
With sorrow in his eyes, he turned his head back to his Aes Sedai, who was still fighting bravely. He watched this stubborn woman who had forced herself into his life. A woman he barely knew. There were still so many things to learn about Moiraine – things she was still hiding from him. Lan wished he would have had more time to get to know her. Maybe in our next life, we will meet again. Lan’s vision started to blur. He lost a lot of blood.
Another wave of panic rushed through the weakening bond when Moiraine realized her Warder was close to dying. Desperately, she grabbed Saidar and wielded it against her enemies. Stones and branches were picked up by the air and thrown at the attackers. Others she suffocated by wrapping their heads into a bubble with no air.
Soon, all the Children of the Light lay motionless on the ground. Panting, the Cairhien woman rushed to Lan’s side. She felt him getting weaker by the second. Their bond was barely there.
“Lan!”
He tried to say something, but it ended with him coughing more blood. She would lose him if she didn’t hurry. Quickly, Moiraine took in their surroundings. No, she couldn’t heal him there. Healing this wound would knock them both out. She couldn’t risk waking up among the Whitecloaks. They would kill them immediately!
“Hang on,” she begged, then Lan collapsed in her arms.
Cursing, the Aes Sedai placed Lan’s sword and her new dagger on Mandarb’s back, then grabbed her Warder under the armpits and pulled him deeper into the forest. She only had a few minutes before it would be too late to save Lan. Fortunately, their horses followed without her telling them to come.
As soon as they were out of sight from the road, Moiraine stopped. Lan barely breathed when she placed him carefully on the ground and kneeled beside him. She was running out of time.
Quickly, she opened herself to Saidar and started to weave. Not the healing weave but strings of air and heat to create an illusion around them. Should the Whitecloaks wake up before they did, she couldn’t let them see them there.
A magic dome appeared over them, also including Arrow and Cat Dancer. This dome would hide them from unwanted eyes, and everyone who came close to it would be drawn to move around it. One last weave, so the dome would hold even when Moiraine was unconscious, then her fingers started to weave anew.
This time, she worked on the healing weave. She had to save Lan’s life! She couldn’t lose him! They finally started to find a rhythm in their fighting!
But most of all, she still needed to apologize to him. They had been attacked by the Trollocs because she had refused to leave her books behind. Lan had been injured because of her stupidity. Silent tears ran down Moiraine’s cheeks. They both knew the fight had been Moiraine’s fault, but Lan hadn’t mentioned it - not once. He hadn’t called her up for it, and Moiraine had stayed quiet too. The events had ashamed her. I need to apologize to him.
Desperately, she pressed her hands on the bloody wound and let the healing weave move into his body. The blade had created a lot of damage, and she also needed to remove all the blood from his lungs. Don’t you dare die on me, you bloody idiot!
The wound started to close, but soon Moiraine noticed that Lan’s body didn’t have the strength left which was needed for the healing. Frustrated, she sent her own strength through the bond, knowing very well, she would collapse soon. But this was Lan! Her Warder! Her partner! She couldn’t let him die!
More tears ran down her cheeks, feeling hot on her cold skin and dripping on Lan’s tunic. With the last of her strength and a frustrated yell that crossed her lips, the Aes Sedai finished the healing weave, and Lan’s wound closed under her palms. Relieved, she felt their bond getting stronger again. He would survive!
Moiraine’s vision blurred, and she sank onto Lan’s chest. She had done it. Now, she could rest.