Archive of Our Own ^beta

  Porchay had life going well for him. He regretted very little of the choices he had made, but one choice he definitely did not regret was renting a small place along the outskirts of the city and restarting his life free of the mess his brother got himself into. Porchay wanted nothing to do with it and wanted no part in it. If his brother was happy with his life as it was, then so was Chay, but that didn’t mean Chay would force himself to be involved in the same ways as his brother was. That didn’t mean that Porsche never visited Chay, either. They’d always arrange days to hang out and spend time together, just like the times back at their old house.

  Originally Chay had planned to just move back to the old house, but to do so his brother had a condition that he’d take two bodyguards with him and have them tag along at all times, for his safety. Although he didn’t blame Porsche for his concern due to the fact he’d been kidnapped at that house (which was also inconveniently on the radar for any enemies now), he just couldn’t stand the idea of someone constantly on his tail.

  Chay commonly found himself playing music at local bars and sometimes cafés. It often reminded him of how Porsche would always talk about wanting to open a beachside bar of his own, and how Porchay would commonly chip in that he’d play live music there. That dream had gone out the window as soon as it was thought up. Though, Chay wouldn’t linger on it too much, as he’d rather not spiral down into that constant pit of sadness yet again. He’d just crawled out of it, and barely, at that.

  Unfortunately, having a normal life wasn’t something Porchay was in for. From losing both his parents to being stuck with a gambling uncle, debt collectors just around the corner at their necks at all times, and an older brother who struggled for money in every way just to ensure Chay had an easy life of his own, even going so far as joining the literal mafia. Porchay sometimes beat himself up for ever thinking he’d be able to have a simple life with Porsche and follow both of their dreams in peace.

  Porchay also couldn’t forget how he’d almost dragged himself into the business just as Porsche had done, falling in love with someone who he’d once thought of as his idol – his life inspiration. All for it to come crashing down just as his other dreams had, figuring out Wik the idol was actually Kim Theerapanyakun of the Main family. Porchay thought he may have actually been fine with being a part of it if only Kim hadn’t pushed him away the way he did. Chay would have been willing to give it a chance, seeing as Porsche did so and was doing quite alright himself. But, of course, Chay was wrong for thinking it was that simple.

  Chay actually had indulged in a few self-defense classes with Arm and Tankhun when he first was staying at the compound. He’d stayed there for about a month before he decided he couldn’t stand it and would rather be anywhere but there. And, being home for two weeks nearly drove him insane when every time he’d go out with his friends or just go to the store he’d look over his shoulder and see two men dressed in all black just following him. He knew it was for his safety, but it just irritated him to no end. It felt like every form of privacy or peace just didn’t exist anymore. Though, the classes with Arm and Tankhun were a bit fun, and took his mind off of the drowning guilt and depressed state he’d been stuck in. Aside from that, watching Korean dramas and hanging out with Tankhun wasn’t the worst. While some could say the man was definitely special in his own way, Chay didn’t hate it. It just made the man more fun and joyful to be around.

  If there was one thing Chay missed about being at the compound, he’d definitely say it was his time spent with Tankhun. But, even then, Tankhun started leaving the compound sometimes and even came to visit him sometimes. It always made Chay’s day in a way he couldn’t just make up. He could ignore the bodyguards for the time being, while he and Tankhun caught up on dramas and played games just like they used to at the compound. It helped Chay feel less lonely, aside from the times Porsche would come to visit him, which felt like it was rare.

  His self-defense skills had been good enough that Porsche deemed him safe enough to be on his own as long as he let Porsche know even when he felt slightly unsafe or saw something that was even the slightest suspicious. Porsche wanted to take no chances, and his frequent messages to Porchay asking about how he was and how things were going and other things among that made him feel less forgotten and a bit better about this whole ordeal. Chay had also been in a few quarrels with people trying to get their hands on him, and he hated to say that death was becoming a common thing he’d see, but when his hands were bloody he felt like there was no more lying to himself about what was a fact. He wouldn’t deny it always shook him up, though. He never was able to sleep right after taking someone’s life, even knowing it was to save his own.

  Porchay gripped one of the straps of his gig bag slung over his shoulders, waiting for the signal to cross the road, as he was called in to a local bar to perform. He wouldn’t say he was perfect, of course. He always said he could do better (he would never admit he compared himself to his former idol, but the way Wik’s fingers glided across the fretboard as his angelic voice made Chay’s heart throb was something he couldn’t erase from his mind no matter how hard he tried), and that just urged him to keep trying his best, which always landed him with another gig.

  As he entered the bar, he headed back to find the person he deemed almost to be a sort of friend – especially with how much the guy called Porchay up to perform at his bar. He could probably say they were friends, anyways. Chay always liked coming here. The atmosphere was nice, and it wasn’t too crowded on normal days, though weekends spoke for themselves. He’d often be around on calmer days, which he preferred anyways – today being one of those days.

  “Hey, Sky,” Porchay greeted, a small tap to the back of his shoulder, and his attention was already on Chay. “Hey, what’s up? I’m glad to finally have you back here,” The man was cheery, pulling Chay over to the back where the staff room was. “I’ve had a few other gigs around, so I guess I’ve been kind of busy lately. But, I’m glad to be back somewhere familiar,” Porchay said, taking a seat across from Sky as he removed his guitar from the bag, tuning it as needed, though he was mostly ready to go. “I’ve got a lot of openings if you’re interested. I still pay well, don’t worry,” Sky gave Chay a look, and he only let out a short laugh in return.

  “I’m not worried about that,” Chay left it vague, though he wasn’t lying. As much as he didn’t mind working for his own money, everything he wanted was at the tips of his fingers. Though he did enjoy working for his own money and spending that more often than what was in his bank, his account just spoke for itself. He had reassured Porsche on many occasions that his allowance by all means did not need to be that ridiculously large, but Porsche never backed down on it. He always stressed that he wanted things to be easier for Porchay so that he’d never have to worry about finances in the ways he had to back then – but, Chay also wanted to support himself, he didn’t want to fully depend on his brother. Hence why his savings had been piling up in his bank account as he mostly stuck to paying with what he earned from his gigs. It made him feel a bit more accomplished.

  “Well, the stage is ready whenever you are,” Sky stood up, patting Porchay on the shoulder and giving him a thumbs up as he stepped out of the room after a moment. Chay took a deep breath and prepared himself one last time, before stepping out of the staff room and stepping up onto the stage. A chair sat in the center awaiting him, along with a microphone and all of his other usual setup. He had purchased his own acoustic-electric guitar not long ago and it has been the only one he used for his gigs, since. He refused to touch his gifted one, and the one his brother got him lay in his room whenever he just played at home.

  Porchay looked over the crowd, seeing no familiar faces other than a few staff that he’d commonly run into whenever he came here. Though he already began grabbing some attention from some of the people around. He glanced over the crowd once more and he saw someone who stuck out a bit more than others. It was probably the hat and mask, but he didn’t much dwell on it other than occasionally glancing over at the person. He adjusted the microphone one last time as he sat down on the chair and got comfortable, and the rest of the night went by just as smoothly as he’d hoped for.

  Porchay had left his guitar back at his place before heading out once more. He felt like having dinner at a stall rather than at a restaurant or at home, today. He looked over his options as he headed up and down the streets for a little bit, taking in the nightlife and how calm things became as the day drifted away. Times like these reminded Chay of how much he would have missed out on being cooped up in that compound all the time (admittedly, back then he mostly hid away in the compound because it embarrassed him to leave with bodyguards. He wondered how silly a teenager like himself back then must have looked with two men dressed in all black tailing him around everywhere). It also made him wonder how much Tankhun must have been missing out on as well, though recently he’d been more willing to leave the compound, especially in comparison to him never wanting to go out in the past, as Porsche had told him.

  Chay soon found himself thinking about Kinn as well, and how he was happy his brother finally found someone that made him happy as Kinn did. Although at first Porchay did not like the man at all, he soon found himself losing that hatred as he saw Porsche and Kinn really did love each other – and it was clear the two had been through a lot together. Chay respected that, and he wasn’t going to make Porsche feel wrong for the type of person he loved, especially not after everything that’d happened (and especially not after the fact Chay fell for the same type, not that he’d ever tell Porsche).

  His mind eventually drifted over to Kim. Porchay almost made a face as he thought about how everything went so horribly wrong when it could have gone so incredibly right. He supposed trying to get close to his idol was a problem on its own, but the face his idol had used him to spy on his own brother was a bit hurtful. Though, in the end, Chay could kind of understand the worry that may have led to Kim’s poor actions, even if it didn’t entirely justify it. Some part of Chay wanted to run back to Kim and beg for him back, while the other wanted to beat him up for what he did. Maybe one day Chay would do both. Or maybe he’d do neither. He couldn’t deny he still thought about the video Kim sent him all that time ago. It had been at least a year and a half by now. He would’ve hoped Kim would have finally confronted him, but he supposed that for now, the video was all the closure he’d have.

  Porchay found himself at a small noodle stall, where he bought and had dinner nearby. Chay was just handing his bowl and chopsticks back to the kind lady at the stall when he saw someone in all black dash out of sight from the corner of his eye. He had a feeling he was also being watched from the other side as well, which had his concerns high. He tensed up and looked around the area, wondering if he was just paranoid over nothing, or if something really was up. He had to admit that after being kidnapped back at his old house, he’d been on really high alert and constantly worried about that happening again, which he’d rather not have.

  Porchay took out his phone and contemplated messaging Porsche, telling him that he felt like someone was watching him, or like something was going on that he may be worried about. This wasn’t a scenario where running into a crowd could save him. With these people involved in the mafia, if they had the goal of kidnapping you or killing you, nothing was stopping them from doing so, not even law enforcement. That’s what had Porchay’s worry for Porsche at the very beginning, but when he saw Porsche knew what he was doing, his worry died down. But, now he had himself to worry about. Unfortunately, moving a while away from his old home and where the compound was wouldn’t just take him off the radar. If someone really had the goal of getting to him, they’d be able to track him down absolutely anywhere.

  Chay wasn’t completely worried about his abilities to protect himself, but it was still reassuring to know that if something did go wrong, his brother would be aware. Some may think Chay ditching the bodyguards was a stupid idea, but as someone who had no intentions of being a part of the literal mafia, you couldn’t blame him. He did agree to let Porsche track him, though. He’d always have his phone’s location on so if things really did go wrong Porsche would know where to look first.

  He quickly sent Porsche a message after some contemplation, alerting him that he felt he was being watched, and that it was worth it to be on alert. Porsche said he’d be on his way though it may take a little while considering how far Porchay was, not that Chay was that worried. But, in the end, he hoped it would be a false alarm and just him being paranoid.

  He was wrong.

  One step too far out of eyesight and someone already had their hands on one of Chay’s arms. He let out a short shout of surprise, though quickly peeled himself away, already reaching for the switchblade clipped to his side pocket. He did have a gun but he’d rather not attract unwanted attention unless he really needed to use it. “Don’t make this hard for us,” One of the men yelled, as Chay began backing up a bit. He made sure it wasn’t a dead end and that he was clear to run if he had to. “And do what? Hand myself over willingly? I’m not stupid, you know,” Porchay glared at him, switchblade drawn and in his hand, as he kept a safe distance.

  “You’re bolder than we heard,” The other man said, hand by his side holding a white cloth that brought back horrible memories from back at the old house. “Who sent you?” Chay questioned, knowing they couldn’t be from the Minor family as Vegas had an alliance with Kinn after everything had happened before Chay arrived. Porchay was told about some of those major things, such as how his brother took over as the head of the Minor family (which sounded totally insane when Chay first heard about it), as well as how someone who worked for the Main family left to be with Vegas who was now the head of the Minor family, who Chay was also told was the rightful heir, to begin with, and had previously been an enemy (and part of his kidnapping). Things had just been a total mess back then, but Chay could be almost for sure that Vegas wouldn’t have pulled such a bold move. It didn’t seem like his style either, anyways – judging by what Chay has seen in the past.

  “We’re not going to tell you that,” One of the men spoke, and Chay almost rolled his eyes. Of course, they wouldn’t tell him, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try getting it out of them. Chay felt a bit nervous as he backed up a bit more. He didn’t want to get his hands bloody again, but he knew that running wouldn’t save him for long and could put others in danger – he always worried that his carelessness would endanger others. He’d hate for that to happen.

  “Then, I’m not waiting around to find out,” Porchay turned around and broke out into a full-speed run, frequently looking over his shoulder as he shoved through very few people and muttered fast apologies as he continued on his way. He knew he couldn’t run forever, but as long as he could get far enough away, he may be able to slip out of sight. Though, one gunshot was all it took for Chay to lose sight of rational thinking. His hands flew up to his ears, flinching as he muttered panicked curses under his breath, his head throbbing from the overwhelming storm of thoughts trying to make some sense in his mind, the gunshots not helping one bit.

  Chay screamed as he was yanked into an alleyway, he cursed himself for getting too close to it. He quickly reached for the hand that had been over his mouth and yanked it away, jabbing his elbow into the person’s stomach before shoving him to the ground. He quickly got down with a foot over the person’s chest, holding the blade of his switchblade to his neck. Though, the man seemed a bit frantic rather than ready to fight. And, as Chay’s mind unclouded he almost felt a sense of familiarity. The eyes looked too familiar, it irked him in a way. Chay reached for the person's mask and pulled it off, which resulted in him backing away almost immediately.

  “When I first heard they trained you, I didn’t think I’d be the one on death’s doorstep,” Kim stood up, a hand over his stomach as he winced in pain. Chay almost felt bad for how harsh he was, but then he remembered the grief Kim made him suffer, and his guilt faded just as quickly as it showed up. “What are you doing here? Did Porsche send you?” Porchay questioned, though his voice hushed as he kept on high alert. “No, I was just in the area,” Kim said, though it didn’t seem entirely believable, and Chay wasted no time calling him out on that. “I thought you were good at lying,” Chay muttered, though Kim picked up on it. “I didn’t need your help,” He added, and Kim just sighed. “Porchay, I–” Chay motioned for Kim to be quiet, Kim doing as he was told when he heard footsteps nearby.

  Porchay yanked him closer, having Kim now over him as he leaned against the wall, he tilted Kim’s hat off to the side a bit as he looked the opposite way of entrance to the alleyway. Kim looked away just in time as a group of men ran by. “Maybe if you apologized to my face I’d forgive you, rather than a video over text,” Kim looked at Chay just at the same time he looked at Kim, their faces inches apart as Kim quickly jumped back. “Isn’t it too late? I really messed up, Porchay. Maybe it’s best you don’t forgive me,” Kim said, guiltily. As much as he wanted Porchay to forgive him, and to have everything he’d lost back, he questioned if he even deserved it. He’d pushed Chay away at the worst possible moment and didn’t give him a proper chance thinking it’d protect him. But, Kim soon realized how flawed that thought process was. After Porsche joined the mafia, Chay had a target on his head. There was never a choice in that, and Kim walking away didn’t put him in any less danger. But, of course, when he finally realized that, he felt it was too late. He wouldn’t dare face Chay again and he regretted everything.

  “You’re giving up that easily?” Chay tucked the switchblade away safely where it was clipped before he drew it. He found out long ago he couldn’t hate Kim, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to run back to him and say he forgave him after he’d gotten that message all that time back, but he wanted some actual closure, which he’d only get if he and Kim talked things out. “Is this really the time to worry about this, Porchay? You almost got kidnapped, again,” Kim said, still worried about the possibilities of what could have happened to Chay just now.

  “How long have you been watching me?” Chay seemed to almost completely ignore what Kim had said previously. “Just a few days,” Chay gave Kim a look that spoke lengths of how much he didn’t believe Kim. “Come on, you can do better than that,” Kim sighed, glancing off to the side as the two stood in silence for a short moment, Kim spending that moment trying to reassure himself that no one was sneaking up on them. “About a month,” Chay snorted, a grin on his face as he leaned against the wall behind him again. “There it is,” He shoved his hands into his pockets, pulling out his phone when he remembered he’d texted Porsche not long ago, wondering if he’d gotten any updates. He saw a few messages from Porsche asking if he was okay, and felt a bit bad for not noticing sooner as he now replied to let him know he was okay. From that, he found out Porsche was nearing the general area, and Chay’s worries slowly dissolved.

  “I’m sorry, Porchay,” Kim finally said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two. Chay glanced up from his phone, the light illuminating his face slightly as a small grin appeared on his face. He looked back down and eventually put his phone away. “I guess I can forgive you. I put some thought into it, and you know what? You’re not entirely wrong. Still an asshole, though,” Chay clarified the last part, pointing at Kim accusingly as he did so. Kim let out a short laugh in response. “You shouldn’t forgive me that easily, angel,” Kim said, and Chay rolled his eyes, nudging Kim by the shoulder with his finger before he finally lowered it. “When you call me that I’d let you get away with anything.”

  “Anything?” Kim tried, and Chay looked back over at him with amusement. “Is that a sign you took that as a challenge?” Chay laughed, watching as Kim stepped forward a bit. “Maybe,” He said, and Chay gave him a look as he stepped closer. “No, you’re doing this wrong. I’ve watched Khun’s dramas and you’re supposed to put your hand here–” Chay pointed to the spot on the wall by his head. “--And, then you–” Kim leaned forward and pecked Chay on the lips. “--Kiss me,” He trailed off, Kim grinning at him as his hand lifted to rest on Chay’s cheek. “We can diverge from the script a bit. Did that count as anything?” Kim questioned, and Chay stood there for a moment before nodding. “Took you long enough, but I’m still waiting on something else…” Chay looked at Kim, expectantly. “I love you too,” Kim finally said, and Chay nearly jumped with joy. Porchay leaned forward and kissed Kim this time, pulling him closer by the hips as the two relished what they missed.

  “Chay. When you said someone was watching you I had something else in mind,” Kim jumped away from Chay, quickly drawing his gun on instinct, though lowering it when he saw it was only Porsche. “Does that mean you didn’t catch them?” Porchay questioned, acting as if he hadn’t just been caught making out with Kim by his own brother. “We did, but I’m more interested in what I just walked in on,” Porsche said, hands on his hips with a look nothing short of amused. Chay just strolled over to him, slinging an arm around his shoulders as he began pulling Porsche away. “No you’re not,” He said, making a phone motion with his free hand, as he made eye contact with Kim, over Porsche’s shoulders. “I assure you I am,” Porsche and Chay both went back and forth for a while, though not in bad nature.

  Chay would have normally called this a terrible day, but since it ended with Kim apologizing, calling him angel, and then making out with him, he’d say it was anything but terrible. Maybe just weird. Yeah, he’d settle for that. A very weird, but mostly enjoyable, day.