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Well Hi ya’ll. My name is Spider, I just turned 23. My life changed when that spider bit me. In some ways it got worse, in other ways it got better. I was fifteen when that damn Green Goblin killed my daddy.
Well, that Goblin died, but I still cried. His son and I are good friends. Despite his severe mood swings, and the fact he tries to kill me in my sleep every now n’ then, we’re cool. He even calls himself Goblin.
We live with our other friend Tater in what we call a mega-mobile. A lot of people live in those these days. It’s like a tank and a home on wheels (caterpillar tread more like it). If you’re in the desert, it’s best to live in one else you’d be easy food for the Mongolian death worms.
There’s the Jersey Devils too. All I know is a couple hundred years ago some rich assholes decided to splice a hog, an ostrich, and a horse together. They’re pests. They’re everywhere, and always get run over by mega-mobiles. I was told they ate all the pigeons and rats.
From what little electronic media and books we’ve gathered together, we learned this land was once the US of A. The national anthem was called the “Hamster Dance Song”. It’s a pretty catchy tune, must have been hard to recite though. Jesus Christ was the first president and Abraham Lincoln fought the vampires in the civil war. Apparently Johnny Cash was the first person to land on the moon and he invented the question mark.The internet also went to shit and crashed twice over. Some groups still have internet, most of us don’t.
We’re traveling to the largest city we know, it’s called Lost Vegas. Some call it LV for short. It’s ruled over by this asshole named Kingpin. He controls the water and gasoline supply ‘round those parts.
We stop every now and then to help people. I help repair their mobiles, get access to clean water, and I even made a special type of thread for lightweight clothing. It’s useful for working in this sweltering heat. We’re going to barter for some more gear and gasoline using the best currency we have: whiskey, moonshine n’ marijuana.
While we were on our way to LV, this big ole grey dude rammed into our mega-mobile. After that, shit started getting reaaallll weird.