Chapter Text
The Silly Utena Crossover Fic
New Students arrive...
"Wow, Anthy, look at all these new people!" Utena exclaimed to Anthy in surprise, as they fought to move through the massive crowds. Before Anthy could form any reply, they were interrupted by a bare chested, handsome young man running by!
"Princess!" Carrot Glace shouted desperately, his long legs pumping madly as he fled for his life, "Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess!"
Tira Misu, chasing him at full speed cried out, "It's time to take you're whipping of love! Call me Queen!" and continued to chase him while waving the whip around. Three other rather oddly dressed figures followed behind them, all looking very embarrassed.
Utena and Anthy watched as they disappeared into the crowd, sweatdropping. Shaking their heads they continued heading towards the school. Up ahead, they noticed Kaoru Miki in discussion with another young man and several women.
"Actually, Miki," the young man was saying cheerfully, "I'm president of the newly formed Ohtori motor club, so you joining would be easy! I'm Keiichi Morisato," he introduced himself, "and this is my sister Megumi. These are some of the club members," he says, gesturing to the several ladies, "our former president, and that's Belldandy." Megumi, Sora, Skuld and Chihiro waved cheerfully, all giving Miki a very thorough visual going over, and liking what they saw. He sweatdropped as well, and fled.
Mara watched the various goings on, perched high up on a sturdy tree branch. She was feeling very amused. "Oh, Keichii, you have no idea what kind of trouble you are in." she murmured to herself softly. Suddenly, she sways, then looses her balance on the tree limb to plummet down to the ground. But before she can pick herself up, a woman steps from behind the tree, grabs her hand and firmly pulls her up.
"Urd?!" Mara gasps softly in surprise, looking up at the tall, beautiful goddess.
Urd smiles at her slowly. "Long time no see, Mara." she said in sultry tones, and leaned in for a fiery kiss.
In the distance, Utena began to hear a low rumbling, and loud shouts, growing quickly both closer and louder. Turning backwards, she saw a growing dust cloud, and figures clearing the way for a rapidly moving object. Grabbing Anthy in her arms Utena gracefully dived to the side, even as it reached them.
The tall redheaded girl ran past them at an incredible speed, tearing up the cobblestones, even as the blond haired girl she was pulling waved cheerfully at them. In a few seconds, they were gone. "Well," Utena heard, and turned to see a tall, blue-haired girl watching with amusement "is A-ko going to be angry when she realizes she's early for school. Oh well." B-Ko shrugged, and moved off to follow A-Ko and C-ko.
Two sandy haired young women were looking one another over, as a third, dark haired woman looks on in astonishment. Except for the face paint on one, they looked remarkably similar. "Think we're related?" Lufy asked, frowning.
Linna and Nene watched eagerly as Priss Asagiri just shrugged, looking very doubtful. "Anything's possible, I guess." she slowly answered. Sylia Stingray sweatdropped, then she just shook her head.
"Utena-sama!" Utena heard from behind her, in what sounded like Wakaba's oh so familiar bezerkly kawaii tones and she was glomped! Staggering a moment, she realized by the weight that it couldn't be Wakaba on her back. "Your right, Wakaba, that was fun!" the cheerful girl said as she slid down from Utena's back, and Utena turned to see a skinny, blond haired girl with her hair up in what looked like a pair of meatballs! She grinned happily and extended her hand, saying "I'm Usagi, nice to meet you!"
"Hello, Usagi" Utena said, liking the girl's innocent air, "I see Wakaba has told you about me, and this is my friend Himimiya Anthy." Usagi turned back to the crowd, and began waving.
Responding to Usagi's waves, a small group of women came over, and Usagi introduced Rei, Minako, Ami, Makoto, Chibi-Usa and Hotaru. Usagi looked around, and then seemed to see who she was looking for. Usagi also pointed out two young women taking to Juri, and explained they were her friends Haruka and Michiru.
Appearing this Episode: Utena, Anthy, Miki, Wakaba, and Juri from Revolutionary Girl Utena. Tira Misu, Carrot Glace and the other Sorcerer Hunters. Keiichi Morisato, Belldandy, Megumi, Sora, Skuld, Urd, Mara and Chihiro from Oh My Goddess. A-ko, B-ko and C-ko from Project A-ko. Priss, Linna, Nene and Sylia are from Bubblegum Crisis. Lufy is from Gall Force. And finally, Usagi, Rei, Minako, Ami, Makoto, Chibi-Usa, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna and Hotaru are from Sailor Moon.
In the classroom...
The teacher took one look at the massive group of new students standing there and simply asked them to take any available seats and introduce themselves to their classmates. "They look nice enough," Utena thought, and tried to concentrate on her schoolwork. From the corner of her eye, she saw something...odd with one of the students nearby. A beautiful young woman leaned over the cute girl, the woman's catgirl costume clinging to every curve, as she kissed the girl's cheek. A graceful hand lifted the hair from the back of the girl's neck so the catgirl could nibble at it teasingly.
The cute girl noticed that Utena was staring at her and smiled weakly. "H.. H.. Hi." she gasped out as the catgirl reached around her. "I'm Miyuki-chan." the flushed girl said quietly. "Don't worry," she said, as she was slapping at the very aggressive catgirl's groping hands, who only smiled at her seductively, "they're just figments of my imagination."
"They?" Utena echoed quietly,and looked around. In the back of the room, a group of girls dressed in rabbit, church mouse, field mouse outfits, and top hat and tails were drinking tea with Nanami's cronies while a tall woman with a spiked, leather costume was looking over Wakaba like she wanted to eat her up. Wakaba didn't look like she'd mind terribly, either. Utena sweatdropped and tried to go back to work.
"Ayeka!" Utena heard someone say in whining tones from the other side of the small classroom, "I'm bored!" A contrary looking young woman with long, grey blue hair was floating in mid-air, sitting crosslegged, beside the chair of a girl with equally long purple hair. She looked like she was getting a bit irritable herself.
"Ryouko! I'm trying to concentrate! Anyways, I'm sure that lowly space pirate trash like yourself couldn't possibly apreciate the subtlety of this class anyway." Ayeka answered her in haughty tones.
Actually, it's pretty boring, a smiling Utena thought, as she continued to watch them argue along with most of the class. This was way more entertaining than the last few kendo tournaments had been.
"Well excuse me princess! I didn't ask to be dragged along with you on this little excursion, because you couldn't find a willing man to go with you!" Ryouko snapped back in waspish tones.
"I don't have to take that! Not from someone like you!" a angry Ayeka said, standing up with her fists clenched as she glared over at Ryouko as lightning like energies began arcing around her slim form.
"Oh no? Go ahead and try to stop me, if you can, little princess." Ryouko answered in throaty tones, as a sinister red glow formed around both her hands. Ayeka growled furiously and jumped her,so that in moments the two young women were rolling on the floor, tearing at each other's hair and clothes. Desks and chairs were knocked aside as the ocassional energy bolt went flying around the room. Suddenly, the whole tone of the battle seemed to change as the two seperated for a moment.
Ayeka's robe was pulled askew, bearing one rounded shoulder, and Ryouko's top was partially torn open to reveal the curve of a breast. They both struggled to regain their breaths as they gazed at each other with a frightening degree of intensely. Ryouko suddenly grasped Ayeka's shoulders and pulled her into a fierce kiss, to the cheers of the surrounding students. They stayed lip locked for several minutes.
Noticing that they have an audience, Ryouko pulls Ayeka closer, and teleports them both away. The teacher stands dazed, swaying back and forth at the front of the class, his hair and clothing smoking slightly from a stray energy bolt.
"Class dismissed." he says, blinks a few times and then promptly topples over with a loud and resounding thump.
Appearing this Episode: Utena, Wakaba, and Nanami from Revolutionary Girl Utena. Miyuki-chan, the Cheshire Cat, Mad Tea Party, and the Red Queen are all from Miyuki-chan in Wonderland. Finally, Ryouko and Ayeka are from Tenchi Muyo!
A new club at Ohtori...
A large, brightly colored banner was clearly visible over the new club's expertly designed booth. It read "Ohtori Yuri and Yaoi Club", and was, not surprisingly for Ohtori, surrounded by a massive crowd of students. Asirugawa Juri and her secretary, Takatsuki Shiori, were both frankly beginning to look more than a bit stressed as they tried to sign up the mob.
Heero Yui, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton and Quatre Rebaba Winner all happily took their membership cards, and the next pair moved up the line. "Hiii!" Mihoshi said in her extremely kawaii tones as she dragged a kicking and screaming Kiyone right behind her. "We'd like to sign up, please," she said in her kawaii way.
"Aren't you two on the teaching staff?" Juri asked them with a single eyebrow raised, as she was much too cool to actually sweatdrop. Mihoshi suddenly looks like she'll start crying. "Not that that's a problem," Juri says to her quickly, and she and Shiori rapidly hand each of them their new membership cards. She didn't want a repeat of the "Usagi" incident. They were both still trying to dry out their clothes!
The crowd parted as two beautiful, almost regal seeming young women make their way through the teeming crowd. "We'd like to sign up," Dorothy Catalonia said, Releena Peacecraft at her side. Heero Yui turned back from walking away, and for just a moment, something like pain flashes in his eyes.
Duo Maxwell pulls at his arm, pouting kawaiily. "Come on Heero, don't waste time, it's your turn to be the love-monkey tonight!" Absolute dead silence. Almost everybody sweatdrops and Heero blushes, as the two leave, quickly.
A quiet and frighteningly cold voice cut through the nearly out of control crowd's increasing level of volume: "What, exactly, is going on here?" Major Motoko Kusanagi in her skintight, pseudo-military uniform scanned the large crowd and the booth, assesing the situation almost instantly.
Juri looked at her with a slightly awed expression, large, throbbing hearts in her eyes. "Sorry, we're just doing our club sign-up, and we got a much larger response than we expected." Juri said apologeticly.
The Major smiled slightly at them. "It's certaily understandable. I'm sure any club with you as a member would be swamped." she said charmingly to Juri. She turned back to the crowd and yelled, "Hey, you, and you beside him!" Toya and Yuki walk over, smiling and carrying their newly issued membership cards. "You're now part of the official crowd control. Lets try to get everybody lined up and keep them there." She and the two young men start to move off, then she stops. "Oh, and please sign me up, too."
Juri sighs happily at that and Shiori glares with jealously. As the Major leans over the table to take her membership card, she softly says to Shiori alone, "I do threesomes as well." Leaving the two fiercely blushing girls sitting there behind her, she moves off to help Toya and Yuki with the crowd.
After they finished signing up Urd and Mara, Rally Vincent and Misty Brown, and Sakura and Tomoyo, Shiori very happily said, "Whew, our relief's here," as she saw Haruka and Michiru walking up. Just as they took the seats, Miyuki-chan turned up, with all the various figments of her imagination close behind.
"OK," Haruka said, running through the checklist "the cards are for: the Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat, Red Queen, Field Mouse, Church Mouse, March Hare, Miss Door, and, of course, Miyuki-chan." Michiru calmly handed the cards out, still fending off the Red Queen's advances quite handily while doing so.
A very cute blond haired girl made her way up the line, even as she looked around her for someone. "A-ko-chan!" C-ko finally yelled out loudly. Suddenly, a red haired girl in traditional girl's uniform plummeted from the sky, pursued by a blue haired girl dressed in a suit of high-tech battle armor.
"We'd like to sign up." C-ko said to them in her normally happy tones.
Haruka and Michiru sweatdrop...
Appearing this Episode: Asirugawa Juri and Takatsuki Shiori are from Utena. Heero, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Dorothy and Releena are from Gundam Wing. Mihoshi and Kiyone are from Tenchi Muyo. Major Motoko Kusanagi is from Ghost in the Shell. Sakura, Tomoyo, Toya and Yuki are from Cardcaptor Sakura. Urd and Mara are from Oh My Goddess. Rally and Misty are from Gunsmith Cats. Haruka and Michiru are from Sailor Moon. Miyuki-chan and the various figments of her imagination are from Miyuki-chan in Wonderland. And finally, A-ko, B-ko and C-ko are from Project A-ko.
A Relaxing Drive...
Akio relaxed, leaning back in the driver's seat and smiled to himself happily as he cruised away from the bustling Ohtori Academy. "Nothing like a long drive to clear the mind of any of it's troubles," he thought. As he reached the edge of the official school grounds, he suddenly slammed to a stop and stared, disbelievingly. There was a newly erected roadblock, manned by two very luscious blondes,and a darker haired woman! All three were in pseudo-military costumes and perched on what looked like a mini tank!
His good mood having suddenly and completely evaporated, Akio roughly rolled his driver's side window down and stuck his head out. "What do you think you're doing?!" he shouted angrily at them.
The dark haired woman gestured to one of the tall blondes, who climbed up on and then into the tank, morphing into a SD version of herself to fit. The brown haired girl then turned to Akio with a pleasant smile on her face.
"Hi there!" she said in cheery tones. "My name is Leona Qzaki, and I'm one of the new truant officers for Ohtori academy! When someone" (cut to the image of a gleefully smiling Touga) "mentioned a student regularly leaving classes to drive around the area, I thought it would be a good start to my new duties here." Leona seemed to get much more serious as she added. "Now, return to school, or suffer the consequences."
"Don't you know who you're talking to..." Akio started to say, when suddenly , BOOM, a tank shell whizzed straight through his windshield and right by his head! He turned around, very, very slowly, and surveyed the horrifying damage to his beautiful looking car, a massive sweatdrop on his head.
"Boss, can I shoot him now? Please?" a voice from within the tank asked eagerly.
"No, Anna." Leona shouted down into the tank. "First, we have to see if the warning shot actually worked. Then, you can shoot him." Leona looked up and smiled sweetly at Akio. He saw the look on her face and made a quick decision.
In a moment, Akio had quickly reversed the car, and sped back to the academy. He didn't know what was going on, but he was going to find out.
Appearing this Episode: Akio Ohtori and Touga Kiryuu are from Revolutionary Girl Utena. Anna Puma, Uni Puma amd Leona Ozaki are all from Dominion Tank Police: Conflict.
Meeting trouble before trouble finds you...
Akio looked like he had a truly massive headache as he surveyed the group of powerful young women Anthy had gathered for the meeting. And with what seemed like suspicious quickness to him.
"All right, and then what happened?" Akio snapped at them irritably. "After your group had that oh-so bright idea, of course." he continued with much sarcasm.
Lina Inverse flushed a bit a his tone, then continued "Well, the spell linking all the realities seemed to work, it should have allowed easy travel between the separate worlds, but then suddenly we all found ourselves here." Lina shrugged, eloquently expressing her helplessness.
Lina, Belldandy, Urd, Mara, Skuld, Washu, Ryoko, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Pluto, Rei Ayanami and Naga the White Serpent all stood around looking vaguely uncomfortable, like a band of students called up before the teacher.
"We're still trying to figure out what may have caused the spell to fail, and us all to come here..." Lina trailed off as she saw Akio's very pained expression.
"And how long will it take you to FIX this?" he asked wearily, rubbing his forehead where his veins formed a throbbing 'x'.
They looked at each other a moment, then quickly gathered into a huddle and confered quietly. Turning back to Akio, Lina simply said "We don't know."
Anthy handed Akio a couple of aspirin, which he then gulped down dry. She stepped down and went over to the group, where they began to discuss the situation and how to go about starting to fix it, even as Akio went to go have a little lay down.
Appearing in this Episode: Akio and Anthy are from Revolutionary Girl Utena. Linna Inverse and Haga the White Serpent are from Slayers. Urd, Mara and Skuld are from Oh My Goddess. Washu and Ryoko are from Tenchi Muyo. Sailor Mercury and Sailor Pluto are from Sailor Moon. And Finally, Rei Aranami is from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Just Communication...
Treise Khushrenada looked around the totally quiet command center with an very irritated expression on his quite handsome face. A soft beeping from a nearby monitor interrupted his brooding thoughts.
"Mr. Treise," Lady Une's soft voice came over the office communication system. "You have a call from... him."
The screen lit up and Miliardo Peacecraft's scowling face appeared on the screen. "You can't find them either?" he bluntly asked.
"No, I haven't" Treise said to him glumly in reply. "All five of the gundams, Releena, Dorothy and Noin are all still missing, after they went to check out that odd disturbance in a remote region in Japan."
Miliardo grimaces as he says, "The White Fang figures they've gone to ground, and are readying a devastating assault on them."
Treise snorted in disbelief, then nodded as he said, "The Earth forces are getting jumpier and jumpier, waiting for the inevitable attack."
Miliardo nodded firmly. "Lets go out there ourselves," he suggested, "and find out what really happened to them." Treise looked at him thoughtfully a moment, then he reluctantly nodded his agreement.
A nearby voice told Treise "I'm coming too." Lady Une walked in, flightsuit ready. "Mr. Treise, your Tallgeese II is ready to go. I've also prepared the Wing Gundam for myself." She looks with clear destain at the former Zechs Merquise. "I'm sure the Epyon is fueled and ready for launch?"
"Miliardo Peacecraft can't officially go," Miliardo said with a grin, "but Zechs Merquise will meet you above Japan." Treise laughed softly, nodding.
Treise gave Une a odd look. "Have you been monitoring my communications, again?" he asked her thoughtfully. Une just smiled mysteriously and didn't answer.
A few hours later, Treise was smiling as he met the Epyon in low orbit. The Tallgeese II and Lady Une in the Wing Gundam hovered beside it, then together they descended. Down, diving through layers of clouds and over rough terrain, until the Ohtori region appeared on the horizon. Treise frowned, seeing a small figure in the distance.
Treise magnified the image, then asked "Zechs, Une, is that the Wing Zero over there?"
"Certainly looks like it." Zechs said calmly.
"I'm attempting communications on the standard frequencies, but nothing's getting through," Lady Une crisply reported. They soared nearer, and noticed the gundam frantically signaling with it's arms.
"He probably needs our help," Treise said smugly. They went down lower, and the gundam's arms signaled to them harder. Suddenly, they hit massive turbulence, and the radio suddenly kicked in.
"You idiots! Stay away, stay back... oh damn. It's too late." Heero said, as his angry face appeared on their video screens. "Try to leave, quickly! Go back the way you came!" Heero asked. Zechs turned his gundam and drove back, only to hit a invisible barrier. He backed up and tried again, coming to another dead stop.
"You can get in, but you can't get out," Zechs said softly. Then he began to swear. The three brought their mobile suits down by Wing Zero.
"Who's in charge here?" Treise asked Heero a few moments later, standing with Une and Zechs at the feet of his mobile suit.
"I'd guess Akio Ohtori," Heero said thoughtfully. "Last time I checked, he was over that way." Treise, Zechs and Lady Une set off. The campus was jammed with people, of all shapes and sizes. As they moved deeper, they noticed more and more damaged buildings, until they came to a fallen robot, and a handsome young man staring at it mournfully.
"Good day, sir," Lady Une said cautiously. "Are you Akio Ohtori?" she asked.
"Yes, I am," Akio said simply. He looked Treise and Zechs over thoughtfully, then smiled broadly. "I have a very important question for you!"
Both Zechs and Treise blinked a bit with surprise. "What question?" Zechs asked him cautiously.
"Do you like Cognac?" Both Zechs and Treise stammered out their affirmatives. "Good, lets go get drunk," Akio said simply, putting an arm over each of their shoulders. Ignoring any protests, he led them away.
Lady Une sweatdropped, and shook her head. A short, but determined search later, and she was directed to the Campus Security office and Lt. Noin. "Lt., report!" Une barked, entering. Noin gave her an amused, steady glance.
"Aren't you a bit out of your jurisdiction?" Noin asked her with a sweet smile. She stretched, catlike, and smoothly got out of her chair to guide Une to a seat. "How are you, Lady?" Noin asked charmingly.
"Ah, fine," Une answered, surprised. "What's going on here, anyway?" she asked plaintively. Noin laughed softly. She sat by Une, stretching her legs out, letting Une see her gracefulness.
"This place is a mix of many separate worlds, or realities. Quatre gave me a long winded explanation that gave me a headache, but until they're separated, we can't leave." Noin smiled comfortingly at Une, putting her hand on hers and patting it softly. "It's a nice place, though, even if it's a bit crazy."
Lady Une blushed, looking over at Noin.
Noin smiled warmly, and brought her chair nearer Une's. "Have I ever told you how lovely you are?" Noin asked.
"No..." Une whispered. Noin leaned over, and ever so gently kissed Une. "Where did that come from?" Une asked, sounding not at all displeased.
Noin kissed her again, gently. "I was your subordinate," Noin whispered, "it wouldn't have been appropriate. But that didn't stop me from thinking about it."
"What about Zechs?" Une managed to gasp, as Noin began nibbling Une's neck.
Noin leaned back a moment, smiling broadly. "We're each others protection. He lets me chase after my girls, while he persues his boys," she laughed. Une smiled back, and Noin drew her into another kiss.
Appearing this Episode: Treise, Lady Une, Miliardo/Zechs, Heero and Noin are all from Gundam Wing. Akio is from Revolutionary Girl Utena.