Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sun hung heavy in the afternoon sky as Merlin finished polishing Prince Prat’s armor. He really did it on the train field today. Merlin started to wonder if Arthur intentionally muck it up just so Merlin had to stay longer to finish it up. When he finally got finished with it his hands turned red and ached.

Merlin set the armor aside admiring his work. That was the last of the chores for the day for now. All there is left to do is bring Arthur his dinner, get him into the night clothes, and turn down his bed for sleep.

It unsettled Merlin this whole week. There hasn't been a vengeful sorcerer or a vicious monster, not even a sickness going around. It was nice but also unnerving as if the fates themselves were weaving together a disaster that will soon come.

Merlin tries not to dwell on it. there is no point if something were to happen he would be there to stop it and if there wasn't Merlin considered this a holiday. He should count this as a lucky streak; he even finished Gaius’s rounds early; this was the first amount of free time Merlin has had in a while, he should be counting his stars.

Eager for his newfound free time Merlin retreated to one of his favorite places in the castle. Going through the servant passages where he would be less likely to stop and give him more chores he went up and up the staircases. Until he reached one of the tallest towers of the castle.

The spire seems to be all but forgotten about, for all the times that Merlin has gone up there he never saw a single soul. Merlin entered the Dusty room. He almost felt sad that such a glorious view out the huge circular window was forgotten about, almost. It seemed to be used for only storage now, crates and boxes filled the room when he found it. The furniture was covered with a thick sheet of dust.

Now all the boxes were pushed to The far side of the room. Everything was as clean as It could be. The furniture spotless he made this little area of the castle his own. It was a few and only places in Camelot that Merlin truly felt like he could be by himself.

He wasn't sure what the room was intentionally used for before its time as a storage room but he did have a few ideas. Maybe it was a spare room for visiting nobles but that didn't make sense. No pompous, full of themselves noble would ever dare climb up that many steps. Maybe it was once a royal artist's studio. When he noticed around the first time he did see quite a few paintings skewed everywhere. all now stacked neatly in the corner leaning against the wall.

It would remain a mystery to Merlin but that was okay. He made his way over to the large circular window that overlooked the kingdom. He bent down to the loose floorboard underneath the windowsills and brought out The spell book he had found in the large crate that first day. Here he could study peacefully without Gaius berating him on the dangers of studying magic. Here Merlin was free. Free without worry for he placed a spell on the door that led to his own realm.

No one would ever see the door unless they looked right at it and when they did look at the decrepit old wooden door they would only perceive it as a storage closet, completely unremarkable. And if they open the door they will be nothing but a broom.

Merlin started with a warm up spell, The spell that he performed so many times at this point he didn't even need to say the words to make it happen. He cupped his hands together in front of him focusing his eyes on his hands, his magic responded with a gentle hum and when he opened his hands the shimmery blue wings of a butterfly appeared. He watched the little creature flutter and soon it took off into flight. Merlin opened the window so the little creature wouldn't be trapped here. This light breeze of the crisp spring day was welcoming. He watched the butterfly floating out the window into the clear sky.

Merlin opened up his spell book flipping through the old pages of the grimoire. It was beautifully illustrated, illuminated with gold and silver leaf. Painting and inking It was a work of art as well as a work of text.

Merlin found the spell has been working as of late. It was a difficult one; the old language felt rough against his tongue. It was a spell of invisibility which would be extremely useful considering the predicaments that he always seems to get himself into these days.

Cwician sê sêað âdêadian, scêadan me ungecnáwen, âscieppan me ungesýnelic

Make the eye fail, make me unnoticed, make me invisible. He chatted the words, keeping his intentions clear. Merlin closed his eyes, focused on his breath. Merlin sat there for hours chatting the words that never seemed right.

On the last try frustrated and annoyed Merlin all but yelled the words. His stomach dropped as his magic responded he opened his eyes to see if he did it. Merlin held his hand out in front of him. To half of his surprise and annoyance Merlin saw that only his wrist to his fingertips were transparent. The spell flickered then Merlin's hand back to normal.

Progress albeit a little but progress still, Still annoyed Merlin shut the book. He stashed it underneath the floorboard once again hidden to the world of Camelot.

Golden light started to fill the room as the sun started to set behind the mountains. The light reminded him how sorcerer's eyes turned to the color of gold, his eyes. The sun must have been the first sorcerer casting its blinding light on the land. Could it be that's where they got their power from, the sun rays herself?

Merlin enjoyed the sunset quietly wondering if he would be able to come back tomorrow. Then it hit him, the rest of his chores! He was going to be late again descending all those stairs. With haste Merlin closed the window, ran out of the room locking the door behind him and down the staircase he went.

***

Merlin stumbles through the door of Arthur’s chambers with the tray in hand.

“Good thing I can always count on you being late.” Arthur remarked not looking up from his desk.

“Do you want your dinner or not, Prat?” Merlin retorted.

“You can't talk to me like that Mer-lin.” Arthur fanned annoyance.

Arthur got up from his desk to settle at the table for dinner. He cocked an eyebrow at the bread roll that seemed to have disappeared that was there a moment ago when Merlin bright in the tray. Merlin started on his night chores, humming while he unmade the bed and got out Arthur sleepwear.

Arthur was strangely quiet this night around. They would usually bicker not till it was off to bed but Arthur didn't say a word. Merlin wondered if he should say something and Arthur would complain about his chit chat and then the bickering would start. Something stopped Merlin before he teased. Maybe it was the uncharacteristic but instead of Merlin commenting on how hard he must be thinking he settled on a different approach.

“What is bothering you?” Merlin decided.

“Nothing.” Arthur said defensively.

Yep there was something wrong, you can’t go a few years of being at someone every beck and call and not know when something is wrong. “Oh yeah, I completely believe you sire.” Merling made sure to make his sarcasm painfully clear.

Arthur let out a groan “The king paintance are alway wearing thin.”

That was all Arthur gave to the answers. Merlin could hardly hold back his glare at the mention of Uther. The ruthless, mad king will bring his own downfall. Fully he won’t bring Camelot with it when he does. Uther is still Arthur’s father and Merlin knows without Arthur breathing a word that sometimes he wishes for Uther just to be a father rather than a king.

“Would you like to go on a hunting trip? It can get your mind off your duties even if it’s just for a little while.” Merlin offer. It had been a while since Arthur had gotten out of the castle.

“You know maybe you do have a thought every once in a while.” Arthur gave a slight smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Be careful prat, that almost sounded like a compliment.” Merlin laughed.

“You wish.”

Merlin worked late into the night getting ready for the upcoming hunt. He gathers supplies, bedrolls, food, and his medicine bag just in case. He quickly learned on their trip it was just better if they had it just in case then not at all. Finally all the packing was done and they would be off in the morning.

Chapter Text

The goddess knows that this wasn't Merlin's idea of fun. Anything else at all in Merlin's mind would be more fun but it took Arthur out of his sour mood. Which made Merlin's life a little bit easier so he begrudgingly trudged on.

“Would you hurry up!” Arthur grumbled. “Hunting requires speed so pick up those knees!”

"Well maybe I would be a little faster if you carried your own stuff.” Merlin retorted back

“That is literally part of your job Marlin” Arthur deadpanned.

Merlin grumbled it seems like the weather has been on their side this time. The last time they went on a hunt it rained almost the whole time and they had to cut the trip short. Merlin would have enjoyed getting out of the rain but when they got back it took him the better part of two days to clean the mess that was their supplies and clothes that was caked in mud.

They walk forth through the twisting trees of the forest. The earth gave softly because of the moss that carpet the ground. The smell of the damp soil is crisp in the spring air. The light filter though the canopy dotting everything in view with warm light. Merlin could almost feel a peace at the day but he could never entirely enjoy it. There is a pattern to these trips, something always happens in the woods whether it was bantits, sorcerers, or creatures something will always be watching them on these trips no matter how nice the weather is.

Arthur stopped and bent down examining the patch of dirt that wasn't covered in moss. Arthur’s brow furrowed as he took in the hoof print of a deer.

“Don’t think to hard there,” merlin snorted

“Shut up Merlin, honestly if you weren't such an idiot you would know i’m tracking a deer.”

Merlin sighs and rolls his eyes, “well honestly if you weren't such a cabbagehead you would know that deer is actually a doe,” Merlin mocked.

Arthur cocked an eyebrow at him, it wasn’t as impressive as Gaius famous brow. Merlin almost laughed at how stupid the prat looked in comparison. Arthur got to his feet and mumbled something under his breath that Merlin could not decipher.

“What? I pay attention.” Merlin couldn’t help but to laugh at the blonde's stupid expression.

“And you're saying I don’t?” Arthur said accusatory

“No, I'm just saying sometimes a blind man sees better,” Merlin retorted.

Arthur huffed, an annoyed sound. Although a retort did not leave his lips. It's not like Merlin needed or wanted Arthur to pay more attention but It was fun messing with him. It would be nice to remind Arthur That he wasn’t completely an idiot. When you have to hide so much sometimes it’s easier to let people assume what they believe in you.

Arthur got back up on his feet, silently they resumed their hunt on foot. Their horses were back at the campsite that Merlin set up last night. Arthur said something about being able to sneak up on their prey better. If Prince Prat wanted the element of surprise so bad He should stop talking to him.

The day went on as they both went deeper into the forest. The canopy overhead filtered the light the further they went, tining everything a soft green of the spring time. Merlin took in the crisp air with a greediness. These couple of months he felt so tired. As if the earth herself was beckoning him to fall into a slumber as well. Now Merlin felt more awake than ever, everything was waking up. The drury days were becoming less and Merlin rejoiced.

He should do more research on the changing of the season and the effect of sorcerers but that more reading and time he didn't have. He really should look more in the book in the abandoned room where he made his hideout. It is not that he is ungrateful for Gaius food and board but sometimes it feels like he can’t have a moment to himself. Merlin knows there is a lot he needs to know while being the Apprentice to the court physician like different ailments and medicine and how to make them. Whether it’s serving and saving Arthur and being the Apprentice Merlin still gets accused by both for laying around.

Merlin has carved out his own spot just for him in the heart of Camelot where he is able to just be in that room he could be free. If you can call being confined to one room in a whole city being free. Even in Ealdor he wasn't free either. He was with Will and his mom to a point but like Gaius she was always afraid for him. Will was the one friend who Merlin let in entirely and got to know Merlin for what he truly was. Will wasn't scared maybe because they were children and hatred is taught or maybe even though didn’t have magic he knew how it felt to be different.

The hate Uther spreaded found itself even in the smallest villages. It was probably for the best no knew so he and no one else could get hurt. Merlin knows this is the most logical choice but the deep ache of feeling like none of his friends really know him feeds into loneliness.

Merlin jarred for his thoughts when he ran into Arthur who suddenly stopped ahead of him.

“Will you watch it, you clumsy bumpkin!”

Merlin doesn't know how to retort back from being shoved out of his thoughts so quickly. He just offered a quick “ yes my lord.” in the tone that alway made Arthur bristle.

“What got into you! Why do you got your head stuck in the clouds?” Arthur said with more bite than usual.

“It’s not my fault for running into you when you were the one to stop,” Merlin shot back with a huff and eye roll. Whatever happened yesterday between him and Uther really got Arthur stretched thin. Uther’s consent weight of expectation lays heavy on Arthur's shoulders and it’s not like the prince of Camelot is eager to say how he feels about what his father said. Merlin knows Arthur well enough to know that he still values Uther’s opinion but that doesn't give him an excuse to be a prat.

“Just shut up!” Arthur hiss with a whisper.

Arthur raises the crossbow up to his eye, following the shot Merlin could see the doe in the small clearing. The sun shines off her silky coat, she peacefully chews on the lush spring grass. Then Merlin could feel another present, it was small and excited. Then out of the corner of his eye Merlin saw movement of brown and white spots. Merlin stood still not wanting to move to make them run off. It was a beautiful sight to see then Merlin remember what Arthur was going to do.

“Wait” Merlin spoke back, almost inaudible as he put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder.

“What!” Arthur Whisper yells back.

Just then the fawn appeared from the brush, trotting to its mother. The small thing is completely unaware of them. Merlin holds perfectly still not wanting to disturbed the moment. The deers both eat the dew covered grass. Arthur tilts his head slightly to the side, Merlin tries to make sense of the act since he still has the crossbow raised. It’s almost like he was confused? Or Maybe he was just trying to figure out who to shoot first.

Merlin then took a deep breath and closed his eyes tight just to be safe. Merlin then made a stick on the ground on the other side of the clearing break Since Arthur was still right in front of him it was not like he would be able to see. The spell was so small and insignificant Merlin just imagined the action and it happened. The mother doe suddenly looked up and hurried out of sight with the little one trailing behind her.

Arthur lowered his crossbow and turned to face him. In these past couple of years Merlin has had quite a few growth spurts and now he’s stood taller than the prince. Merlin took pleasure in this, although Arthur never really said anything he could tell it still annoyed him having to look a few inches up.

“How did you see the fawn?” Arthur said almost accusatively.
It just occurred to Merlin that he didn’t see the little one, not at first. Only after he acknowledged it prescient Merlin saw it. He made a mental note, how can someone know without seeing?

“I saw the movement of spots before anything.”

“ spots movement.” Arthur repeated and raised his brow, “That's a show of a good eye.” He almost looked impressed. Then it was gone as soon it appeared, a frown reforming on his face
“Have you forgotten Merlin we’re on a hunting trip? We are supposed to bring back gain for the feast that is coming up!”

“Right feast.”

“Merlin, did you forget about the feast?”

“No, yep big feast, that soon.” he completely forgot about the feast that is coming up. That must be the reason Arthur has been tighter than a cork in a bottle. Uther must have brought marriage back up to Arthur.

Arthur gave an exaggerated eye roll not believing him. “Well we have to find something”

***

Arthur marched forward passing the clearing to the otherside of the wood. It was a good day for a hunt. The sky remained clear unlike last time and there was a crispness to the air. Even though the weather is favorable the uncertainty of the feast still twists his stomach in knots. No matter how clear the skies were it was difficult for him to fully enjoy the day.

The argument that he had with his father still rang clear in his mind. Arthur has had this same argument with him ever since he was old enough to court. It all ended the same to Arthur but this time was different, It had felt all too real. ‘This is why we are having a feast, It’s for the good of Camelot! ’ The king shouted as if Arthur was so selfish to ensure the future of the kingdom. He loves his people and wants to be a good leader but he also wants somebody he could love and they would love him in return.

He needed to just get out of the castle, away from it all if only it was only for a few days. Arthur couldn’t just stand around waiting for this new lady to arrive that his father wanted him to court. He hardly asked for permission from him to bring back something that could be the eye of the feast. No it was going to be painfully average this time around, a mid size buck would be alright. Nothing that could be too impressive.

He didn’t even bring the knights. Arthur only told Leon in passing right before he got to his chamber last night. He had rushed past him not giving an explanation, only demanding to be left alone on the hunting trip so he could concentrate, well alone and with Merlin. The idiot has no self-preservation and has never treated him like a prince. Out here with no castle, knights or feast; he could just be Arthur with Merlin.

What annoyed Arthur is how Merlin was able to identify the difference between a doe and a buck through the hoof print. How? What now he suddenly he has sharp eyes to notice a fawn before he did. Last week Merlin couldn't tell the difference between a rabbit and a hare. That just doesn't add up to Arthur but on the other hand there was alway something about Merlin that Arthur could never put his finger on. Even though it's been years since that fight in the market everytime Merlin always ends up surprising him, it was strange to say the least but kinda existing.

Arthur sensing something wasn't right stop and look behind him. Merlin stopped talking, Merlin never stopped talking. Merlin stood at the edge of the clearing that they just crossed, refusing to walk into this side of the woods. He just stood there looking up at the trees.

“What's the hold up?” Arthur called out.

Merlin’s eyes snapped back to him, he looked just as puzzled. “I’m not sure we should go that way.”Arthur scoffed of course Merlin would stall the hunt. They were out here for a reason, they couldn’t go out for a hunt and not come back with nothing. He would be the laughingstock of the court.

“It's just- I have a feeling.” Merlin was hesitant the way he chose his words. This made Arthur take note. He pretends that he doesn't notice the way the merlin wrings his hands or how he doesn't make true eye contact. When Merlin has these feelings usually something would happen but something would always happen. It was time for Arthur to be more vigilant.

“Come on, Merlin will be fine, so let’s get a move on.” Merlin started up again slowly in his steps he caught up with Arthur. Arthur made sure to have his hand on the hilt of his sword. It reassured himself and Merlin physically relaxed at the action.

So they carried on further into the woods. The crown of leaves above completely blotted out the sky tinting everything in green. They were completely surrounded by nature, Arthur tried to feel at peace but Merlin words didn’t let him. There was always the thought in the back of his mind that something or someone was watching. He tried to tell himself that he just needed to breathe but Merlin’s feelings were usually always right.

Arthur froze in places this time Merlin didn’t run into him but He could feel his breath on his neck. Just ahead there stood a buck grazing the grass unaware of them entirely. Silently Arthur knocked back an arrow into his crossbow. Merlin tensed up knowing what would come next. Arthur pulls the trigger with a whale from the creature and thud it falls.

Merlin let out a breath and Arthur went over to his kill. It was a good size for a buck but it was still young, the animal having only two branches of the antlers. Still this would do for the upcoming event.

Just then a scream sprung from the silence. A woman seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Her hair was dark and had curls but was messy, having twigs and dried leaves sticking out of her braids. Her clothes were well worn and ripped in some places. She didn’t look that much older then Arthur but he felt that very well may be not the case.

“How dare you hunt on my land killing the life that thrives here?”

“We were unaware that we were trespassing an honest mistake” Merlin tried

“That wasn’t a mistake when you pulled the trigger.” she pointed a finger at Arthur “ It is not a mistake that you bare the Pendragon crest on your cape Arthur.”

Arthur knew right there that they were in trouble. People in the woods knowing his name meant that they would like to kill him or hold him for ransom, usually the first one. He holds his ground and Merlin tries to move beside him, the idiot. Arthur made sure that Merlin wouldn’t get in the range of fire. There was only the woman that stood so she wouldn't be too hard to fight.

Arthur barely had time to complete that thought when he saw the all too familiar glow of golden eyes of the woman. Sorcerer. A sickly yellow light burst from her fingers. The light hit Arthur squarely in the chest. knees buckling Arthur collapse onto merlin who caught him before he could hit the ground. Oh gods he wanted to scream but the sound never left his lips. It felt like being buried alive. His skin crackle, pins and needles made him go limp.

“Arthur!” Merlin cried and Arthur could hardly hear.

“You will burn! Just like my family did just like my friends! Young Arthur Pendragon but there will be no end to it.” The witch laughs with psychotic delight. It was like she was waiting for this moment his whole life, maybe she had.

“No!” Merlin screamed so guttural it almost made Arthur forget what was happening. Merlin Somehow managed to break free from being pinned between the earth and himself. Arthur’s eyesight was now blurring because of the pain. Merlin did the most stupidest thing Arthur has seen Merlin do in the longest time. He jumped in front of the spell.

Relife course through Arthur, he gasped for air as if he would never get to again. That relife didn’t last long because it registered what Merlin did and what followed was an ear piercing scream that will haunt for the rest of his miserable day. An ear splitting noise that shook Arthur for his daze.

“Merlin!” Arthur roared, getting to his feet. Then the light stopped. Merlin fell to his knees painting. Arthur rushed next to Merlin, putting a hand around his back. Arthur tried to hoist the other man up but he was too weak to do so. “Come on Merlin we have to go.” Arthur tried again to help Merlin up. They were wobbly but they made it to their feet which was an exhausting feet.

“Merlin, such a funny name.” The sorceress said with cruelty and a smile etched on her lips. “Now tell me little bird what has Arthur Pendragon done to deserve such loyalty?”

“He’s my friend.” Merlin rasped his voices quiet but firm. Arthur knew right then that Merlin ment it.

The witch cackles, a horrible sound. Arthur knew neither of them could run, his arrows were spilled on the ground, and the woman was too far for his sword. Arthur couldn't see a way out.

“Well Merlin” she emphasized his name “maybe you should rethink your loyalty.” The witch then spoke something Arthur couldn’t understand the magic lighting her eyes again but no light was thrown their way.

Merlin stiffened, eyes going wide, his grip tightening around Arthur’s forearm. Arthur’s heart dropped as once again Merlin gave a grone that turned into a scream.

No stop! What are you doing?” Arthur begged the witch.

“Teaching your little bird a lesson.” The woman replay smugly like they were playing a game.

Merlin grabs Arthur’s other arm facing him trying to hold on for support. Horror snake up his spine and wrapped around his lungs as Arthur took it in. Merlin was now shorter than him. Something started to poke from his skin, his scream turned more into screeches. Merlin arms contoured, his fingers morphed into the primary feathers. Merlin’s clothes hung off of him as became smaller. Soon the man that was Merlin was now a bird.

Chapter Text

The crack was so deathening Arthur swore it must have been lighting. As the dust cleared and he regained his bearings Arthur saw where the witch stood was now crushed under a tree limb that must have fallen during the ordeal. Arthur did not breathe fearing that even the sound of his own breath would cause the woman to open her eyes. After an excruciating amount of time she did not move.

Sitting on the ground all Arthur could do was stare at Merlin or the pile of Merlin’s clothes. The man that had thrown himself so thoughtlessly in danger was no more. He was gone. Arthur’s heart constricted and tears prick the back of his eyes at the mere thought. Gone.

Then under the well worn clothes there was a slight movement, Breathing! It had to be. Arthur went through his manservant no his friend's clothes. Buried under the clothes lay a bird fast asleep. The blue-gray feathers gleamed in the light. The black tipping each feather bare a striking pattern.

“Merlin” Arthur breathed his name as if he said it too loud he would disappear. That foolish idiot. The witches' words reverberated in Arthur’s head. “Merlin, such a funny name and teaching your little bird a lesson.” Arthur had been on countless hunting trips growing up tracking and identifying animals was almost second nature. That hag turned Merlin well into a Merlin!

Merlin was fast asleep. I guess it made sense being forcefully turned into an animal must have made him pass out. Not to mention the painful spell the witch inflicted on them beforehand. Arthur’s bones still ache, his skin buzzes, and his head pulse. The aftermath made his head groggy; it felt as if he was trying to swim through mud.

Arthur slowly got to his knees, he still stared down at the sleeping bird, it still hadn’t registered that his manservant had gotten transformed into a bird. Arthur rubs his eyes in vain, as if this was all just a bad dream and he would wake up at the camp this morning ready for their second day of the hunting trip. But no that is not how this works, Arthur remind awake.

Slowly he reached down to pick up the Merlin. Arthur pulled his cape to his front, tying it to the left shoulder fastened, he tuck Merlin into the little pouch he made. On shaky legs Arthur pulled himself off the ground with help by a low tree limb. The frigid pain claws at his joints. He pushed through it knowing his beast bet would get Merlin to Gauis as quickly as he could.

Arthur gathers up Merlin’s clothes and looks for the physician apprentice’s medicine bag. At first when Merlin insisted on bringing his bag just in case he scoffed at Merlin’s worrisome nature. As hunts and patrols became more common the injuries never lessened, it had become a second nature to Merlin and the knights. It lay partially hidden in the moss as if Merlin was ready to go into action with his potions and tonics after the ordeal. The thought made Arthur’s head spin, Merlin not a warrior but willing to leap into action anyway he can.

Arthur wishes that there would be something in that bag that could help but he knows there wouldn't be anything to reverse the effect of the spell. Over the years Arthur had gotten to see what was in the bag, mostly it was just being pain reliever, bandages, disinfection, and a paste that quickened the healing process. It's not like he got a potion called ‘make me human again.’
Still he looked through the brown leather bag for anything. Nothing. Arthur then shoved Merlin's clothes into the bag, it was so stuff ful Arthur couldn’t even buckle it close.

Arthur tries to will his lungs breathe deeply, to remember his training from all though years ago when he was first becoming a knight. Never let the fear get to you if you do you will die. The same thing was true in the negotiation room. “In order to be a strong leader one mustn't feel fear.” His father’s words would scroll him. Nevertheless Arthur breathing still shook as if he held his breath too long under water.

Arthur braced himself for the inevitable; he has to will himself forward from the tree he was using for support. Arthur took one more look at his once manservant, the - his feathers moved to a steady beat. The rise and fall of breathing. Merlin is still alive Arthur reminded himself. He is just a bird. Arthur lungs constrict once more, a bird now, what if Merlin couldn’t remember anything? Did his human memories cross over to his new form?

No. No! No fate wouldn't be so cruel to him, would it? To not only force Merlin into a new body where the chances of them communicating would be next to zero but also taking away everything they've been through in the process. All the insults and jokes, the laughs they shared. Deep down Arthur feels like he is the only person who truly knows him and believes in him that Arthur could will be a good king, even though Arthur can’t see it in himself at times. That can’t all just be gone in a flash of light.

Heat curled around Arthur’s heart. No it won't be. Motivation sparking through him. He has to get to the campsite to the horses and then to Gaius. Arthur's legs still felt like molten metal but he started to make his way back to camps. Stumbling and leaning on trees when he could. The effects of the spell can still be felt with every moment. Every step would send spiking pains up his leg to his finger tips.

Every step was too slow. He needed to be at the physician now. “We will get to Gaius soon, just stay with me.” Merlin was also affected by that spell; he must be in just as much pain as him but he was also turned into a bird. Did that hurt too? The thought made Arthur’s stomach turn. “I’ll make sure that you will be okay Merlin.”

Arthur caught himself looking behind his shoulder more often than he cared to admit. At every russell of leaves or cracking of branches he would turn around to see if the witch was following them but never saw anyone there. He knew that his will only slowed them down but the uneasiness didn’t leave him. It was another strange miracle. Whenever there were bandits or successors that wanted to kill him and his knights in the woods strange things would happen. Like falling tree limbs or unexplainable gusts of winds that blew the assailants off their feet or horses without affecting his men. Maybe the woods were protecting them. Arthur shook that silly thought away. That would mean magic and nothing ever good comes from magic. Then again why did all the strange alway happen around him but never affected him.

What are you thinking Arthur he chided himself. It was affecting him now. The first person to ever declare himself as Arthur’s friend got turned into a bird. That wasn’t the work of the woods, it was the vile corruption of the witch. All those other times previously Arthur the invisible work of something or someone in their favor.

***
Arthur estimated they would be back in Camelot after sundown without brakes. in which the conclusion left a bitter taste in his mouth. The trip will be twice as long since Arthur could barely hold himself up because of the long walk back and the fact that his own horse Llamrei was guiding Flyht.

Flyht is the horse that Merlin took a liking to the most. Out of all the time when he told Merlin to clean out the stables he would probably just groom Flyht. Cleaning out the stables was the stables boy job anyways. The house was as gray as storm clouds but according to Merlin the sweetest horse in the stable. Flyht was also that fastest even rivaling his own, not that Arthur would ever say it out loud Merlin would never let him hear the end of it.

When Arthur finally made it to camp he hastily packed everything up and what he meant by packing everything up was mostly shoved without a thought of neatness. That would be something Merlin would complain about later. The thought stung him, we’ll find a way for you to be better Merlin. Arthur thought to himself. Lastly Arthur tether Merlin’s horse to his own, he then mounted his own horse.

The Gray horse protested not wanting to move at first. Flyht must have known that something wasn't right. Arthur did the best he could to calm down the storm in the creature's eyes. Arthur secured the lead hardness to Flyht’s bridle but every time Arthur would lead the horse to Llamrei He would whinnies to such a high pitch it almost sounded like screams. Arthur tried to reassure the animal. Every time he managed to get him to calm down and try again Flyht’s agitation worsen.

“Please I swear we're not leaving Merlin” Arthur pleaded with the horse.

Then it hit him, Flyht thought they were leaving Merlin behind but how in the name of the Goddess do you explain to a horse that the only person to ever so boldly proclaim to really be his friend got turned into a bird because he was protecting him?

Arthur’s chest lay heavy on one of the most physically painful and emotionally taxing days in recent memories, he was at a loss. Merlin wasn’t gone, he couldn’t be, not when he is right here. Arthur took a few steps away from the frightened horse, “Hey it will be okay,” Arthur opened the makeshift pouch he made with his cape to show to the horse. “Merlin is different now, we need to get back to Camelot to help him be better.” Flyht crossed the distance that Athur made and started sniffing the bird. After a few seconds Flyht nudged Merlin with his mussel and gave a small nicker.

Arthur sighed with relief finally he thinks the horse understands that they're not leaving Merlin behind and that he's actually right here. Arthur was then able to secure Flyht to Llamrei. He took one more look of the campsite, this was not the trip he was hoping for. He mounted Llamrei and continued the journey back to Camelot.

Arthur's nerves tingled with the eagerness to move faster but with his condition, him holding Merlin and Llamrei guiding Flyht going faster was just not an option. So they move forward at a steady pace but never fast enough. Arthur would look down at Merlin as still asleep and still a Merlin. As the sun bleeds red and orange across the sky Arthur’s shaking hands manage to lessen.

Darkness was now upon them. Thankfully one good thing that came out of today was that the moon is bright tonight. Shining silver over the land so Arthur didn’t have to stop and wait till morning. Even if it was a moonless night he doubted that he would have stopped.

Arthur sped up as much as he could while holding a bird and guiding another horse when he saw the spire of the castle come into view. Arthur leapt from his horse as soon as they got to stable. The boy was clearly shocked to see them returned so quickly. “Here, take care of them.” Arthur's voice is frantic, nothing what a prince should sound like. “Sire, is everything okay, where is Merlin?” Arthur had no time to talk; he didn't hold back from running in the direction of the Physicians chambers. “I need Gaius.” was Arthur’s only replay.
Arthur’s footfalls were loud on the stone floors as he rushed through the corridor. He didn’t care that his legs were wobbly and risk falling, he didn’t care that the pain still echoed in his bones. Up the endless stairs Arthur fling opened the door to the chamber. “Gaius I need help!”

The old man was in the middle of some potion with books layed out with his notes and a worn mortar and pestle. He was carefully filling vials of liquid which he dropped spilling the medicine everywhere. “Arthur what wrong you and Merlin aren't supposed to be back until”- the Physician stopped mid sentence as he realized Merlin wasn’t with him. “Where Merlin!”

“We were attacked in the woods by a sorceress” Arthur's voice sounded shaky even to him.

“Arthur what happened to my boy?”

Arthur even to find where to start. That Merlin saved him, that he was braver than he ever thought, that it was his fault this happened. Under sure where to even begin, he crossed the room where Gaius stood and showed Merlin still asleep in his cape. “Merlin saved me, The witch was torching me and he jumped in the way,” Tears started to pool in his eyes but Gaius comforted him on more than one occasion when he wept as a child. “I screamed Merlin's name and the witch turned him into an actual Merlin, I came back as fast as I could.”

For a long moment Gaius said nothing. He just stared down at the Merlin in question. If his hair wasn’t already white he might have gotten a few gray strains. The longer the silence stretched out the more Arthur couldn't stand it anymore Until finally broke the air “do you remember what the witch was saying when she casted the spell?”

“No, I can't speak the language of magic!”

“I know that Arthur can you try to remember phonetically!”

The use of his own name by the old man made him rang in his franticness. In Gaius’s tone he could hear his uneasiness and fear? The Physician put on a calm face for his patients but now its facade was no were to be seen. Arthur groans “I need to think!”

Just then Arthur felt a small movement in his cape. He took off the piece of clothing and carefully placed it on the table. Trying to not jostle Merlin too much. Merlin was slowly waking up. Then something occurred to Arthur that he hadn't thought of until now. Does Merlin even know he is now a bird?

Chapter Text

The last thing Merlin could vividly remember is Arthur screaming. He couldn't understand why but it shook him to his core. Then he remembered the torturer spell the witch shot at Arthur. That had to be it but why was Arthur screaming his name? Was that before or after. Merlin’s mind went to circles trying to put together the string of events but he was so tired.

In and out of sleep Merlin replayed the events in his mind until he filled all the missing pieces and when he would come across a blank he would just restart the memories. Doing this when he kept on slipping in and out of consciousness proved to be more difficult. The final shot of Arthur's arrow, the witch, the pain he felt when he jumped in front of the spell. It was all coming back to him.

Although there was only one thing he was missing in the events. The witch shot another spell but right now the words were too murky. Whatever she said, whatever the spell was, it was so painful it rival anything he felt before. It felt like every bone in his body broke and his skin was lit on fire. It was so painful his own magic lashed out. That hasn’t happened to Merlin since he came to Gaius to learn how to control it better.

Merlin felt the earth respond to his pleas and he knew that the branch broke. Not because Merlin could hear it over the sounds of his breaking bones but because the sudden stop of pain. It was too late anyways the witch’s spell already took and the world seemed to grow around him. Arthur’s voice became more muffled until sleep took him.

Which leads him to now. Arthur’s voice was horse and weighed heavy with exhaustion. He was talking with someone. The smell of herbs and stew cooking lent a hint, he was back home, In the Physicians chambers. That means the other voice had to be Gaius. Something was wrong though, Merlin couldn't quite make out what they were saying but the way they were saying things was wrong. They were frantic?

Despite Merlin’s dizziness he forced himself to wake up once more. Blurry-eyed Merlin gasped at the sight of everything around him being massive, In comparison to him. Maybe the pain in his bones was him shrinking? Oh God Arthur would never let him hear the end of this.

“Merlin, can you understand me?”

What a stupid question! Just because I'm small for now doesn't mean I don't understand. What type of question is that? Honestly I swear he's becoming more of a cabbagehead with each passing day.

“Of course prat!"

The minute he spoke the words it was wrong. He knew what he was saying but the sound that came out was shrill, something a person was not supposed to make. Arthur and Gaius stared at each other not knowing how to take that answer.

“Just … nod your head if you do.” Gaius spoke with uncertainty.

Merlin nodded.

The Price and the Physician relief was apparent. It eases the tension greatly, Merlin saw them both physically relax. With a deep sign Gaius gave a small “Oh thank goddness.”

Merlin tried to find his legs beneath him, once he tried another pang of wrongness washed over him. It tried again but it was like trying to stand up and knowing you were going to fall backwards. Gaius’s eyebrows were kitted to close together so it could make a bridge across his forehead.

Arthur’s face was an almost neutral one he wore in debts and meetings. If it wasn’t for the corners of his lips twisted downwards it would be as if he was in a strategy counsel meeting. Then there were his blue eyes, sharp and sad? He was definitely concerned which was even more alarming.

“It's probably best for now to sit my boy.” this through Marlin through a loop. Usually Gaius was the one yelling at him to get up and stop being lazy. Even though he consendly saves Camelot from the shadows while being a servant and apprentice. Something must be seriously wrong.
“No.” Merlin talked back, getting more anxious by the second but it came out all wrong again.

Arthur snotted lightly “guess he does, he still talks back.”

“Now is not the time, sire.” Gaius chided Arthur. Merlin could tell the prat wanted to protest but he was wise enough not to.

Merlin finally found his footing stood up but it felt like he was still only squatting. Everything was still way too big. When Merlin looked down to see why he wasn’t standing right it felt like everything stopped. His feet, if you could even call them that, were yellow talons where his toes should be.

The witch’s words came back to him. “Stefnian ðês rinc, Merlin âðrôwian hwæðre blâwan landriht 'land−rightceorlisc Merlin. Yfel âmânsumian êower benemnan!” the translation ran though his mind “Make this man, Merlin live and breathe that of a Merlin. I crues your namesake!”

A shiver ran through Merlin’s spine. A Merlin that witch - no it couldn't be. He held out his arms to look at but instead of arms and hands there were only feathers the color of slate gray. Merlin stubbled back in shock he was right in the translation though he didn’t want to be. He was no longer human! That's why everything is wrong!

His life was put at a standstill. How could he practice magic now did he still have his magic? Arthur would be lucky to last a week without him fending off attackers. How would he continue this apprenticeship with Gaius? What did Arthur and Gaius think of all this? Thoughts blur through Merlin’s head. There was that wrong sound again only now he noticed he was making that sound. He even sounded like a bird. How would he even talk anymore?

“Merlin, we're going to fix this.” Arthur spoke with conviction “I swear.”

“How!” Merlin screamed back but it was no use; his words didn't make sense to them anyways.

Even though Arthur didn't know what he was saying he still understood the sentiment.

“There has to be some way,” said Arthur who turned to face Gaius.

Merlin went weak at the knees, he resettle on the fabric under him. This was a nightmare Arthur must have taken him back here. Merlin tries not to imagine how it would have gone if Arthur wasn’t there to see him get turned into a bird. Everyone would probably assume he went missing and died, even Arthur himself.

The red fabric underneath him provided him with a little of confort away from his spiraling thoughts. Pendragon red Merlin whipped this head in the direction of Arthur who was still in his armor but lacking the cape. Why was the fabric that was settled underneath him Arthur’s cape? I was unconscious for the trip back and we rode out there. Did Arthur wrap me in his cape for the journey back? Merlin's heart gave a gentle squeeze at the thought but he brushed that silly notion away. So many things did not make sense to Merlin right now.

“Do you know of any way to help Merlin?” Merlin was pulled from his thoughts when Arthur's voice came out in anguish.

“I will need to do research” Gaius spoke with grit.

Merlin has never really seen Arthur and Gaius go back and forth. He found just the idea of it very odd. Merlin also knew that being the royal Physician meant Gaius has had to put up with him since forever. It only been a few years and Merlin felt like he was starting to get gray hair. I guess in a way he is now, except in not hair but in feathers.

As the back and forth continued, the question wouldn't keep quiet in his mind. What would Gwen and the knights think? Some of the guards or servants probably have to already know. How long would it take before the whole castle knew and then eventually Uther. The tyrant already thinks everything touched by magic is evil.

“With all do respect sire you have pushed yourself to exhaustion, you need rest just as much as Merlin here needs his rest. Let’s reconvene in the morning.” weariness grew in the Physicians eyes.

“But Gaius you can't be -”

“I am serious.” his uncle reaffirmed, absolute in his decision.

Merlin found Arthur’s eyes on him once more. He bent down so he didn’t tower over Merlin like a looming mountain. Arthur exhales deeply, his eyes look like they aged something that only happened with worry, “Thank you for what you did out there. That was very brave of you. I’ll make sure to return the favor.”

With that the prince was gone, leaving Merlin alone with his uncle. Even though Merlin was not looking at Gaius but he could feel the eyebrow on him. Merlin tries to focus on anything around the room to not make eye contact to get a lecture this late.

Merlin's efforts were not enough when he heard the tisk tisk tisk sound Gaius was making. “Oh Merlin, what have you gotten yourself into this time?”

Merlin at the ready to tell the story but all that came out was the shrill bird noises. Completely frustrated with himself he threw his hands but he doesn't have any which makes him even more angry. Merlin just settled on flapping his new wing in place.

“Arthur told me what happened before you woke up. Even though it was a brave thing to do, it was also insanely stupid.” rubbing his brow Gaius’s voice was filled with annoyance but he didn't raise it. “You could have done a million other things but jumped between the spell and Arthur.” Gaius sighed again. “Merlin, I know he’s the prince you matter just as much.”

This stunned Merlin into complete silence. It wasn’t like he could even say anything back but Gaius would never say things like that. Especially Arthur being the crowd prince. Uther would have considered that as treason; he would have Gaius thrown in the dungeon for considering them at the same importance.

“It's time for bed Merlin.” Gaius lifted Merlin off the table and took him to his room and placed him on the center of his bed “Please try to get some rest.”

***

The next morning the dream did not end and Merlin slept horribly. It turns out sleeping in a new body is excruciatingly difficult. Especially when you roll over only to realize you can't because your wings got in the way.

Gauis hadn't come yelling that he would be late, which would have been nice if it wasn't for the fact he didn't have hands! How was he supposed to do anything without hands!

Before even the sun rises Merlin has been trying to open the spell book he left on the side table the couple nights prior. Gauis would yell at him for such foolishness but that didn't matter right now. Merlin meant to let out a growl of frustration but it just came out wrong. Bird-like, yes which he is now but that doesn't mean it didn’t feel horrible wrong.

every time he would speak it came out so different then what a man should sound like. How would anybody ever know that he wasn't a bird? He looks and sounds like one anybody would just agree that he was in fact a bird.

This new body feels like he is wearing clothes that are far too tight. All him forced into a little form. The last few years he's been going through multiple growth spurts and since the incident Merlin has felt like he's been crammed in a small cage.

There sat Merlin in his way too big room struggling, trying to figure out how to open the spellbook without fingers.

A light tap at the door knocked Merlin out of his useless efforts. The door opened slowly, "Merlin?" The concerned voice of his mentor broke the morning silence. What am I supposed to say, Though Merlin it's not like anything I would say come out as human speech. So Merlin just sat there on his too big bed looking at Gaius.

His eyes landed on the spellbook that Merlin managed to get on his bed but it sat there unopened. Gaius gave a soft sigh, Merlin didn't know if it meant disappointment or sadness.
The physician sat on the edges of his bed next to Merlin. He pulled the book into his lap and opened it with such ease a stab of jealousy ripple through Merlin. He did the very thing Merlin was struggling to do before sunrise in a blink of an eye.

“You have the right idea to start studying.” Gaius looked as if he wanted to say more, his mouth remained pinched and brow furrowed.

The first time in a long time Merlin stayed quiet not knowing what to say. It used to be so easy. Now language feels impossible because it is. Merlin just looked up at his uncle, hoping he knew the answer this time. Something told him on the other hand that Gaius might not know which is something he can think about now.

Gaius' eyes relaxed just the slightest, it was almost unnoticeable. The old Physician tried to put his hand on Merlin's back and shoulders almost the same way he would try to comfort him when he was human. “I promise my boy we will get you back to your clumsy self.”

Merlin tried to protest that he wasn't that clumsy but once he heard the shrill unhuman noise of his voice again. That protest quickly died. Merlin looked down, not wanting to see pity in Gaius' face. After a minute he looked back up at his mentor and gave his best expression of ‘how?’ he could, which felt entirely different considering he had a beak now.

“Well we could start by looking for spell so you can regain speech”

Merlin smiled the best he could, proud that his question came across.

“I’ll try to get my rounds done as fast as possible. Arthur should be coming by soon. He wants to help as much as possible. That might slow us down on a magical solution but he was quite insistent on it. He seems really shaken by the whole thing. But I made breakfast, you have to eat something.”

Merlin looked out to the table. There was a plate already made but it seemed so far away. It was also a long way down from his bed. He hasn't even gotten a chance to try to walk on his new legs.

Gaius seems to have noticed his process of thought looking at him then back at the table. “Okay well, this is going to be high on the list today. We will get you accustomed to your new legs so you can move around the chambers easier.” With that Gaius took Merlin to the table where sat breakfast.

Before Merlin could even process what was even in front of him for breakfast Arthur burst through the door. His hair disheveled and clothing wrinkled it was like he forgot to look in the mirror this morning. The most pronounced thing about Arthur’s appearance is the purple under his eyes, it looks like he hasn't slept in days. Now looking back is entirely possible, the hunt felt like years ago.

“I just heard he’s awake.”

“That is correct, sire. In fact we were just about to have breakfast.” Gaius sat down and motioned to an empty spot at the table. They only had two chairs but since Merlin won't be able to reach the table if he sat in the chair it made sense. If he could speak Merlin would tease him about how the chairs would be too hard for his royal butt.

“It would be good for you to eat something as well, sire.”

Silently Arthur pulled out the chair. Gaius must have planned this out because there was a third plate he didn’t notice before Arthur’s entrance. Merlin felt like he hadn't eaten in years but how was he supposed to eat? It would be just embarrassing to just peck at the plate.

Arthur didn’t touch the bread, instead he just chose to stare at Merlin. They all just sat there for a minute not saying anything, ignoring the obvious issues. Merlin wanted to jump off the table, walk back to his room and shut the door but nothing would get done if he did that but it’s not actually he can say what is on everyone's mind or maybe…

“Can we all just stop staring at me and talk about the actual issues! Like I don’t know how to become my human self again? Like how would you expect me to do the talk when you can’t understand me! Seriously but nooo I alway have to be the one to figure shit out-”

“Okay okay okay Merlin we get the point now stop your screaming!” Gaius snapped. Merlin would have ranted more but at least he got the ball rolling.

“Have you found any information on Merlin’s condition?” Arthur asked eyes deep like if he just focused enough he could change Merlin back.

“I have been conducting as much research as I can between my rounds, sire” His uncle shot back, offended like he hasn't worked to try to figure out how to reverse it.

As Merlin took a closer look it dawned on him he might have been out a lot longer than he realized. They both look so tired like at any minute they would fall asleep if the opportunity came. Gaius was a lot better at hiding his tiredness but Merlin could tell they were a slight shake to his hands. Merlin never noticed it before, everything seemed a lot clearer as a bird. It makes sense that they have to see their prey somehow when they are so high up.

Would he be as high as the clouds one day? No he couldn't, he needed to get back to normal so he can protect Arthur and resume his apprenticeship. Merlin could feel that this thought would not leave any time soon. He had no hands but he did have wings. How can a man cursed to be a bird not even try to fly at least once.

“Do you know how long you've been out!” The question took him off guard, evaporating his daydream about maybe flying. Merlin shook his head ‘no’

“It's been four days, Merlin!” Arthur all but shouted.

Merlin had a feeling that he might have been out a little long but four days? This was not good at all Merlin has learned over the years unfortunately the longer you out by a spell the more powerful it is. Three whole days not including when he first lost consciousness is really bad.
That's why they all look like they haven't slept in days and are on the verge of yelling at each other.

“Have you convinced Geoffrey to grant us more access to the library?” Gaius Questioned Arthur.

“Not yet but I feel very close.”

“Good, we are going to need it.”

They have already been making plans? Merlin will need answers from the old man later. He would always warn Merlin about the dangers of even the possibility of someone knowing about his magic. Arthur still didn’t know Gaius would have at the very least prepared him if he did.

The prince and the physician bicker back and forth. Merlin was zoning in and out. He knew this was important but he was just so tired. Finally looking down at the food he started picking at the bread, too tired to care how stupid he looked. A wave of tiredness hit him again, another bad sign of how strong the spell really was.

“Merlin Please try to stay awake until nightfall” Arthur broke him from his fog. “If you don’t it would only strengthen the spell.”

“Gaius I know you also have to keep up the health of the kingdom so can I help with keeping an eye on this idiot.” The insult had no heat to it.

‘More like keeping an eye on you’ squawked Merlin.

“Very well, please try not to get in any more trouble.” The fatigue in Gaius’s voice is more apparent by the minute.

“Of course Gaius.”

Arthur got up from his chair and looked at the door then back to his now bird friend.
“It will take forever for you to follow me up to my chambers, here.” Arthur held out his arm much like how Gaius did before breakfast. Merlin stepped on, Arthur lifted him up and they started to head up to Arthur's chambers.

Chapter Text

Arthur wasn't sure what he was thinking when he decided to take Merlin with him to his chambers or how he was going to keep him awake for the rest of the day. The sooner he comes to terms with his new reality the faster he could try to fix it.

Thankfully Gausis declared bed rest for him or else he would be back in the council room and politics was the last thing he could focus on. The physician also prescribed him pain relief; sweet smelling herbs mixed together in a liquid that smells a lot nicer than it actually tasted. Nonetheless Arthur could still feel the aches of the magic. The burning of the torturest spell lingered in his joints and if he felt this horrible how did Merlin feel? It is not like he could ask him, Arthur presume that Merlin wasn't cured to be a talking animal because nothing ever works in the prince's favor.

The moment that he was notified that his friend was awake it didn’t matter. They walk in silence or Arthur walks and Merlin sits on his forearm. Sharp talons pricing into his arm, he almost regretted not wearing his armor, almost. Truly something Arthur hoped he didn't have to get used to. It was already wired enough that his closest friend was turned into a bird, a bird that couldn't talk no less and who he had to carry because he wouldn't be able to keep in stride.

Another question popped into Arthur's head: could Merlin fly? He pushed to stupid question in the back of his mind. Of course he wouldn't, would he. Arthur tried not to look at said bird. Don't be stupid even birds are taught how to fly!

Arthur was so in thought over the crisis that he didn't notice all the looks he got carrying the small raptor. The servants stop and whisper to one another. Guards who didn't bugged for their position watched them pass, their eyes following the sight. The people of the castle didn't know what to make of it but they had seen stranger things.

Unbeknownst to Arthur that is when the whispers started. It was a new hunting bird that the prince had gotten. It was a spy messenger falcon to gather intel on their enemies. The bird was a courting gift from someone the prince had effections for but was keeping it secret. Mary, the head cook of the kitchen, was pretty sure that Merlin had something to do with it. He had never missed a day since he started. late yes, almost everyday absent no.

Arthur made it back to his chambers. Merlin let out a squaw that made Arthur jump. Surely it was Merlin complaining about the state of his room. It's not like he was focused on keeping his chambers clean beside Merlin was usually tasked with that chore. Some articles of clothing lay on the ground and the bed was unturned, books were scattered everywhere some open some not. Loose leaf paper stacked on the desk, mantle and just about anywhere that had a flat surface. So it was a little messy.

“Calm down Merlin, it's not like I’m going to order you to clean it up.” Arthur chided the bird.

The raptor gave a loud caw-caw sound which made Arthur narrow his eyes at Merlin. Even as a bird Arthur still felt as if Merlin was insulting him in bird speech. Then he noticed something about the bird in front of him. If you were to look at Merlin you would just assume that it was well just a Merlin but when you look at the small falcon eyes they were the unmistakable blue of Merlin’s eyes. It’s proof that Merlin was still in fact Merlin, it offered just a slightest spark of hope in Arthur that Merlin was still in fact Merlin.

Merlin leaped down from Arthur’s arm and landed with a plunk on his desk. Arthur gave a small snicker at the strange action.

“It looks like you are going to need to work on landing Mer-lin.”

That got Arthur scolded in bird speech.

There was silence that stretched out between them. The communications have been severed there was only so much you could say with basic understanding of one and another before it fizzled out like hot wax drowning the flame. Arthur thought back before the attack when he was tracking the deer and told Merlin to shut up. Now he was incapable of human speech. He never meant that he wanted Merlin to stop talking entrily, of course it got on his nerves sometimes but the rest of the time he found his ramblings to fill a void of empty air that always surrounded his title, it was a type of solace.

Now there was no sound to fill the air. Arthur pulled out his desk chair and sat down with a sigh. The whole situation wades him down like where you're underneath the water surface trying to break through. So for the first time Arthur starts talking as both him and Merlin look out the window overlooking the citadel, he talks about how George had started to take over his responsibility and how truly awful his jokes are. That earned a higher pitched chatter in which Arthur took as a laugh.

Arthur talked until the last of the daylight was lost, he was trying to keep Merlin awake. That was the goal that is what Giuas told him to do. Merlin thankfully was just as expressive as a bird as he was human; this made talking to him so much easier and Arthur was grateful for it. There was a knock at the door and groaned in exasperation pinching the bridge of his nose Arthur stated “enter.”

George bowed and came in with try after try of food and placed it on the table. It looked as if George sucked on a lemon, his lip pressed tight together and eyebrows knitted as his look at the room in such disarray. George did his best to not disturbed the notes and books on the table. The man looked as if in any minute he would start trying to clean the space that was a losing battle for George.

“Sire your dinner is ready and since you haven’t found anything appetizing I have brought a little bit of everything.”

“I can see that George,”Arthur said with a bit of sarcasm that went unnoticed by the servant.

George’s eyes flitted towards Merlin but said nothing of it. That made Arthur’s irritation for the servant increase, the acknowledgment of something completely out of the ordinary and had nothing to say about it.

“I can get started on the nightly duties Sire as you dine,” George insisted.

“That won’t be necessary George, you are dismissed,” Arthur said curtly.

George's mouth tightened even more, never speaking back. He bowed and left the room.

Arthur looked at all the food laid out on the table but didn’t move. He really hoped that Merlin wasn’t paying attention when George basically said he hardly eaten anything when he was asleep. He did mean to really, it was just he was reading anything that could help Merlin out and he also forgot too, it also took him a whale to regain his appetite.

The Merlin in said question did not look impressed. And wobbly Merlin got up from where he was sitting and walked over to the edge of the desk and jumped off, he tried to flap his wings and with an ungraceful thud he hit the floor. Arthur wanted to cringe at the sound. The bird walked over to the table he was getting a lot better a walking but Merlin was going to need to learn how to fly if he wanted to move with ease and Arthur prayed to the gods that it wouldn't have to come to that, hopefully in the next few day they find something to restare merlin’s body. Merlin jumped on to the chair then on the table and made a notion with his wing like he was saying come on. So Arthur did. He ate a little, just another to make the bird happy and when it was time to retrieve for bed Arthur delivered Merlin back to Gaius’s chamber and tried to get some sleep.

Sleep once again did not come easily to Arthur Pendragon. It was starting to become the worst part of the day, night. Whatever! The point is it was almost just as restless as the first. His screams plague his nightmares. The terror on Merlin’s face when he's started sprouting feathers will haunt him. The worst of it there was nothing he could do.

Arthur's chest constricted at the thought of the pain Merlin went through. Merlin never did anything wrong, he was only protecting him. Merlin who threw himself in danger not knowing the outcome. Merlin who proclaimed why just simply because they were friends.

His chest constricted even more. It was getting harder to ignore, he had to but how could he? Merlin the bravest person he has ever known. Merlin, who never cared about the fact he is a prince. Merlin with the intelligent blue eyes that he hides behind with witty comments and jabs. Merlin, who is his servant! He needs to stop thinking about him like this.

Merlin said it himself, friend. Nothing more. Of course friends would protect each other, That's what friends do. At least Arthur thought so it's not like he had a lot friends before. Maybe the things he felt from Merlin is just how people feel about their friends.

The knocking at the door brought him back to his chambers. Arthur exhaled sharply “enter.” He dreaded who answered the door, it was just another reminder.

George promptly entered with a jarring silence then bowed deep, “Sire, the king has sent for you to meet him in the throne room.”

Arthur withheld a grown, he knew this conversation was coming. “Very well, George, you're dismissed.”
George was a good servant and that was the problem. He treated Arthur like the prince he is and not a man. As if he should be nothing more than a warrior, a master in battle strategies. He bowed once more then left. That was that. the perfect servant, never speaking back. Arthur hated it. He felt the most weight in expectations with people who expected him to command them just like that.

For the past couple of days George has taken over Merlin's position. Arthur made sure to wake up a few minutes before he walked in so he could dress himself. Despite Merlin's teasing him, Arthur does know how to actually take care of himself. George was clearly annoyed but has never commented on it. Despite being basically served a mini feast every morning by said servant Arthur could hardly eat. Begrudgingly Arthur facened his armor, after this meeting he knows he will need to take out his frustrations.

When Arthur entered the throne room he knew immediately that his father was not happy with him. The air was stiff and tense; he didn't say a word besides ‘Enter’ Arthur could see it in that man's eyes. At this moment he was a king wanting answers. Arthur moved swiftly to stand in front of his father and bowed. Arthur gritty his teeth as he did this but sometimes it felt like it was the only way Uther could see him.

“Arthur, I believe you have rested well?” The king's little pleasantries were as cold as iron. Of course Arthur knows that he cared about him against magical threats but something was off.

“Yes father.”

“Arthur don't lie,” the way Uther said this was enough for the hair on the back of his neck to rise. Was he really that easy to see through him?

The truth of the matter is felt worse than anything he had felt, worse than any tournament it felt like his very blood was boiling burning him from the inside out. “I am still experiencing aches and pains.”
Uther nodded without saying a word, his lips pressed in a thin line, eyebrows still knit, the answer seemed to be enough for the king.

“Very well and as for Merlin the severing boy Gaius has informed me about his … unfortunate state.” Uther still remembered Merlin’s name? For the amount of times he just refers to him as the servant of this stunned Arthur. For as much as this revelation shocked Arthur it also put him on edge, he had to play his cards right.

“Merlin has saved my life once more and I will try to help Gaius find a solution for he is a subject in need and”- “One may wonder why he may save your life so many times with hardly any recognition.” Uther cut off his statement before he could finish, the words were full of venom and it made Arthur blood boil even more. How dare he question Merlin's courage, these are accusations they will only devolve. He had to use his strategy skills in delegation if he wanted to go Arthur’s way.

“Merlin is loyal to the crown, he is an important asset to the crown, losing him will be losing the one man who has saved my life multiple times already putting his life at risk to ensure the future of Camelot.”

Arthur’s words felt cold on his lips, Gods above he is so much more than just an asset but that didn’t matter to the king. This approach will let the king think about Merlin usefulness to the crown. It is almost as if Arthur could see the strategy working in Uther’s mind. He just hoped this was the right course of action.

“My manservant is also a physician in training and the nephew to the court physician who has been in our trust for a long time and I strongly believe that Gaius has imbued Merlin with the same long standing loyalty.”

There it was. Arthur could see it on the king's face, though still deep in thought his eyebrows relaxed. He knew that bringing Gaius into this had been the right choice. For all the times Uther has said that Princes mustn't have trust in others he knew that the king does in Gaius, being the physician is the most trusted position in court and one day Merlin will hold that position. Arthur won’t dare breathe the words but he has trusted Merlin for a long time.

“It seems Gaius has done right with that fool of a boy.” Uther's statement was more of an annoyance than anything. The king knew that calling into question the physician nephew's character would call into question of the physician and out of the whole court Uther trusted Gaius the most. Arthur won this battle through a technicality but technicalities in court are just as important.

“You are dismissed Arthur.”

Arthur bowed to the king and turned around making his way to the door but before his hand could pull the knob his father spoke once more.

“Arthur, for his sake you better hope that Gaius finds something for this evil. You are not to tamper with such a thing, do you understand.”

Arthur turns around to face his father completely. This wasn’t a question, it was a statement and trying to protest could be disastrous.

“I understand.”

With that Arthur left the throne room.

***

Arthur made his way to the training pitch as fast as he could without regard for the other lords and ladies in the citadel as he passed . But in all honesty he didn’t care, Arthur had felt his life just got severely messed up. He just needed some to blow off some steam and hopefully wake up from the really bad and really strange dream but that didn’t happen.

Striking and slashing his ‘opponent,’ It was too late in the day for training his knights. I was unusually warm for the spring day and sweat was already sticking to Arthur’s skin. With each thrust of his sword he imagined the witch and the damage she caused. The pain he felt still buzzed in his bones, it had already been a couple of days since it had dulled but still hadn't gone away. It was a reminder of what Merlin had done, stupidity. Why did he have to be so stupid?

What he could have done differently if he was prepared for the attack. Could he fight her off if it wasn’t a surprise? If it had been a fair fight surely there would have been a different outcome. Yet here I am unscathed while others put their life on the line for me just because I will rule one day. Agner pools through him and advances his attack on the dummy. His knights and his subjects are always in peril!

Uther has alway stated on the evils of magic, Magic Arthur thought with venom, if it wasn’t for magic the majority of despair wouldn't happen. Though the thoughts are in the voices of his father it was the only truth he had known. With a final jab of his sword the leather practice dummy burst, as hay and sand came out of the leather bag Arthur just looked on breathing heavily and shoulders hunched.

“Goodshow sire.” The familiar voice pulled Arthur’s from his turmoil. Looking up he repressed a grone, George stood at the edge of the field and bowed when he knew Arthur could see him.

“What is it George?” Arthur’s voice was gruff, not only the anger lingering in his bones as well as the buzz but George was the last person Arthur wanted to see.

“The court physician has sent for you.” Arthur’s heart raced harder than it was a few minutes before.

“Did he state why?”

“That he just wanted to see you, I also recall him saying that the bird was getting on his nerves as well as some of your knights.”

“Very well George, I must leave immediately. Can you clean this mess up will you?”

Arthur didn’t look back as he left the training pitch, he didn't stop to get out of his armor. All he could do was make it to Gaius as fast as possible.

I could use a drink

Chapter Text

It was almost a pleasant morning if it wasn't for the fact that Merlin was still a bloody bird. He still hasn't gotten used to sleeping yet, he properly won't until he turns human again but sleeping is the least of his worries. The clicking of glass and turning of pages was the noise that woke him up, noises that would have never awakened him if he was human. His hearing got so much better the same goes for his eyesight. Birds really have a different way of preceding the world.

Merlin again took in his too big room, there were times he considered it cramp too small to practice magic in private. His blood ran cold. The magical artifact and books he's been collecting from defeated sorcerers since he came to Camelot were not here. Not in his too big room under the floorboards or in the physician quarters. Everything was in the forgotten tallest towers of the castle. Where he could freely practice magic without prying eyes the place where he would sneak off to any time he could. Everything was in there.

I felt like a sure idea at the time when he accidentally found the long forgotten room in the castle. It wasn’t just a place where he could be himself but it was a safety percussion. He and Gauis had already had their chamber ransake for anything related to magic multiple times then the witchfinder came. They were lucky, too lucky, at one point or another the luck will run out like sand in an hourglass. So slowly night by night Merlin moved any artifact that he has acquired over the years to the forgotten room. They still have books on magic in their chambers but after facing enemies and monsters alike you tend to gather things. It is not like you should have two Sidhe staff laying around the same goes for a griffith tooth, and other enchanted objects. There has to be something in that room that could help.

How on earth am I supposed to make my way to that room let alone open the door. He never realized how much he took for granted like opening damn doors. Thankfully Gaius thought about this part of the predicament and started to leave the door open. not like it was hard for Gaius to do he would always come in (usually to give him some chores) and never closed the door behind him when he leaves.

Jumping off the bed Merlin landed with a loud THUD. He tried to give a few flaps but it was no use. He dropped like a stone. He was going to be covered in bruises if he kept at it like this. It's not like he can get far walking with talons.

“Merlin, are you okay my boy?” the old physician asked, pushing open the door all the way.

Merlin responded in two trilling noises. It was a small form of communication they have established. Two for yes and one for no. Even though he could only ‘talk’ with yes or no questions it felt like a leap forward.

“You really need to stop throwing yourself off things to get down.” Gaius chided.

Well how else should I get down.

Merlin said but to nobody's surprise it was just bird noises. Gaius huffed, pinching his nose with four fingers and thumb, shaking his head.

“I know you are talking back. Now come on, I have lunch.” with that Gaius left the room. Merlin followed albeit more slowly.

He jumped, flapping his wings trying to jump up on the chair and onto the table. It wasn't quite a flight but it was good assistance. There on a plate layed a sliced apple and a handful of almonds. Merlin turned to look at his uncle. With a look that hopefully communicated 'why,’ It wasn't like the porridge was great but it's definitely more filling than this.

“You're a bird now Merlin. I can't have you eating people food.” said the physician not looking away from his medicine making. With a sigh Marlin started to eat which consisted of pecking at the plate. There won't be a time where this wouldn't be embarrassing.

The sudden pounding at the door interrupted the clicking of glass and the rustling of papers once more. Before Gaius could even look up at the door, it slammed open with a loud bang and a stampede of red capes and armor came flooding in. Tumbling over each other, Gwaine landed on the floor with a thump.

Still on the floor Gwaine burst into questions. “Is it true! It can't be right, just a stupid rumor? Like the servants got really broad and just started a little joke right? Where is he?”

“Let the man answer.” Leon said calmly while helping up the knight off the floor.

Merlin could only look on in shock. The whole castle mostly knows what happened in the forest. His talons were nailed to the table, he couldn't move. He wanted so greatly to just go back in his quarters and shut the door.

Lancelot was the first to see him. His eyes growing twice their size. His mouth dropped slightly as if he was saying ‘oh.’ “Merlin?” He breathed it would have been inaudible if he wasn't a bird.

Gauis exhales deeply, “I'm afraid it's true. I have been looking for an antidote for days now but yes Merlin is well, a Merlin.” All the knights started silently, no one dared say a word.

Lancelot was the first one to break from the shock. barely making a sound he made his way over to the table and gaze at the bird in front of him “Merlin?” The question was so hesitant that Merlin wanted to trun away.

He gave a nod and two trilling noises.

“We established a basic form of communication, he can answer yes and no questions. Two sounds for yes, one for no.” Gaius explained.

“My gods, I can't believe it,” Leon whispered.

Lancelot pulled out a chair and sat across from his now bird friend. Not saying a word, shoulder hunched. Merlin could almost tell what the knight was thinking. Lancelot, the friend who figured him out so quickly.

Stumbling over air, Gwaine rushed to the table as well. keeling down on the floor so his line of sight was level with the falcon. “What no! Merlin speaks to us!”

Slowly all the knights were towering over him. It made Merlin’s blood run cold even though there are his friends he feels trapped. He needed to get out, to leave the walls, it was all too much. It dawned on him this feeling he craved for the openness of the sky. This new need almost startled him just as much when the door slammed open. Fight or flight he thought to himself, I’m scared this is what this feeling was. But he was in the company of friends so he shouldn't feel frightened but he did. Maybe it was because everyone around him are giants now or maybe it all is too simple a man should never become a bird.

Merlin could smell the alcohol on the knight not only on his breath but on his clothes he must have gotten into another fight at the tavern. There were countless things he wanted to say to his friends but it was not possible for them to understand the words. So all Merlin offers in his new bird langage I miss hands. As predicted nobody understood. Gwaine let out a drunken “noooo.”

“Well at least he’s rapture” Leon said as if that made the situation any better.

“Our friend got turned into a bird. How can you say that?” Gwaine wailed.

“A falcon actually,” Leon made it sound like it was actually preferable. Merlin rolled his eyes. It was not preferable.

“What are you talking about mate?” Gwaine’s voice was beginning to rise with frustration.

“A Falcon, oh that explains everything.”

“Oh that explains everything!” Elyan retorts.

“And why does that matter?” Lancelot interjected calmly.

“Because it's a good thing.” Leon then gestured to the Merlin in question like it was the most obvious thing in Camelot. It wasn’t.

“Are you out of your mind a good thing, what the hell are you talking about?” yelling so loud Merlin wanted to cover his ears.

“Now let's settle, bickering will get us nowhere.” said Gauis, trying to intervene but either none of the knights heard him or cared enough to stop.

“Let's just be glad he wasn't named after a smaller bird” Leon’s words were becoming more irritating.

“What are you on about!” Gwaine did not try to be calm.

“Well … you know smaller birds get.” He made a vague motion. Merlin did not like how this was going.

“No?”

“Eaten.”

Eaten, he would have been eaten if he was named something else. His heart quickened, he felt the hairs feathers rise. He couldn’t, he needed out of here. To leave the sky. It was too much. Then it came back to him in a rush. The magic that has been bottled up in a too small body came rushing to the surface on its own. No not now he wanted to scream. It happened so quickly. Some of the vials on the top shelf shatter with a pop. No one seemed to notice but Gaius who moved swiftly in front of him to block him from the sight of the yelling knights.

“Why in ALL the five kingdoms would you say that while standing in front of him!” Gwaine screamed, fully turning towards the other knight.

“You asked!” Leon said defensively.

“Don't worry Merlin with those talons you won't get eaten.” Leon offers, trying to comfort the distressed falcon. But Merlin couldn't hear him.

The room was enveloped in chaos when Arthur arrived in the physician chambers, althose the yelling was mostly done by Gwain. Why am I not surprised Arthur thought to himself. “Would you stop it!”

“Who did this? We need to find the sorceress!” Gwaine's eyes were as sharp as glass, the usual glint of mischief disappeared entirely from his face. Gwaine now turned his anger on Arthur who it seems he didn't tell his knight that his manservant got turned into a bird. “And you, you didn’t tell us why!”

“Something cures need to run their course and Gaius and I have been searching for a solution for days!” Arthur yelled back as loud as Gwaine.

“We need to find them and focus them to turn Merlin back!” Elyan declares before the yell turns into a full out fight.

The knights chorus in agreements, they rally at the idea of hunting down the witch. Lancetlot gave Merlin a knowing look knowing that’s what Merlin himself fears.

“Settle, Settle!” Gaius shouted over the yelling of plans being made. Eyes nervously flicking to Merlin to see if he world has another burst of magic.

“What! aren't you upset about what happened to Merlin?” Gwaine argued back at the old physician.

“Of course I am what type of question is that!” Merlin froze and so did the lights and prince, yes he seen Gauis yell and be disappointed but this was something else in his voice. It was cold and furious at Gwaine’s accusatory question. “There is no point in hunting down the witch because she is dead,” Gauis finished.

The room went quiet once again.

Percival was the one to break the silence, “when I traveled with the druids, I heard stories like this happening.” The silence continued since Percival hardly spoke about his time with the druids. “Are you sure it was a sorceress?”

That was something Merlin hadn’t considered, was the curse inflicted on him by a magical creature rather than a person with magic? Percival’s question was something Merlin had not considered, the past few days were a blur and at his point he could hardly recall what the ‘sorceress’ looked like.

“If she wasn’t a sorceress then what could have been?” Arthurs questioned.

“Well…” Percival tread carefully choosing his words. “I have heard tales of some magical beings changing their appearance to look human like the Fea or the Sidhe.”

“Well that is something that we can try to look into but with much caution. My lore, you and I must convince Geoffrey to further our search in the Royal Library.”

Arthur nodded, his brow pinch together. “I've been trying to convince him further but there might be nothing left to research on since the mass burning at the start of the purge.”

A deep sadness darken his Uncle’s eyes. The little books of magic they hide in the chambers are precious. The loss of all the knowledge that had been passed down for centuries disappeared because of one man. Merlin never had a proper conversation with Gauis about it because just mentioning the early days of the purge he would get a far away look in his eyes, Merlin couldn't ask him to relive the horrors again.

Gauis pulled himself out of the memories “I’ll talk to Geoffrey to see if there is anything else.”

Arthur turned to Percival “You must tell us more about the tales that you had heard but not in the castle. No one must know.”

“Yes sire, I understand.” Percival bowed his head.

Gaius, Wringing his hand together still uneasy, looked over at the bird in question. Nobody had yet to notice the broken glass in the heated exchange and he was not about to let the knights and the prince notice.
“Now if I may sire, I must get back to tending to Merlin and learning more about his conduction.” It wasn't a lie. Although they need to know more about Percival’s stories, Leon pointing out that if Merlin was a smaller bird he would get eaten did not help the poor boy keep his magic under control. Also this was the first time known to Gaius that Merlin did magic in his new form.

“Of course Gaius” said Arthur, His eyes made brief contact with the man now bird who saved his life. “Men you're with me.” and with that the lights and prince left the physician chambers.

“Merlin, do you know that your wings glow when you're doing magic!” his uncle asked frantically.

What!

***

Arthur was the last to leave the physician chambers. He didn’t get to see Merlin all day and just wanted to spend time with him and tell him about the latest book he had found that could help. But that will have to wait. All the knights looked at him for the next order, and he was at a loss. He just got back from his ‘training’ that was more closely aligned to venting than actual training.

Arthur didn’t have any other duties for today which is something that never happens and the only reason that his schedule has started to slip was at the amount of work he was doing at all hours of the day and as they bleed into night it was much easier to focus on making Merlin human again. He was so very tired but if he would make any progress at the expense of sleep it was worth it. Now he has a new lead in Percival stories he couldn't rest on, That's the next step.

He was about to break the silence, give the order when Gwaine beat him to it. “I think we could all use a drink.”

In turn all the knights agreed that right now alcohol was the best course of action at the moment.

Arthur rubbing his eyes he took a deep breath trying not to yell at his knights. “How could you think alcohol is the right course of action right now.” his voice came out dangerously low even to him.

“How could it not be the right course of action right now? Mate our friend got turned into a bird and you looked like you haven’t slept in days.”

“I’ve been reading every book I can to somehow figure out how to change him back.” Just at the mention of sleep Arthur wanted to yawn but he held it in.

“Sire, you have been trying all you can but you will not figure it out if you fall asleep standing. Just an hour is all we ask.” Lancelot spoke gently; it simultaneously irritated him and put him at ease.

“Fine one hour.” he said firmly while holding up one finger.

At this point the sun had fallen ending the day. One hour he grumbled to himself. In the middle of the bustling tavern he was surrounded by his knights. He should have gotten back to his reading hours ago but he couldn’t find the strength to get up from where he sat. If he did then he would leave the company, he would be alone and he would be plagued by the sight of the transformation over and over. At least here in the tavern surrounded by his knights it drowned out the memories.

With the drink in his hand he told the story of what happened on their hunt. It shouldn't be this hard to recount the tale but it was. His story was littered with pauses and silence. Nothing about the way he told what happened sounded like a future king should his father would have sneered at his hesitancy. It took well more than one drink to get through the whole thing and when he was finished they said nothing. How pitiful was he.

“Mate… that's awful.” Gwaine’s mouth hung open, his eyes were shiny and they could burn holes in his goblet.

“You went through all of that and you didn’t tell us. Why?” Leon's words were like cold water hitting his face.

In truth the only one he did tell was Gaius and that was because he's the physician and like a father to Merlin. If anyone knows what to do it would be him. The last few days didn’t feel real, it was like a dream, things he should have remembered he just couldn't recall. It was like he was floating in a ragged ocean. He hated this feeling telling the truth would be the best outcome but it was too raw but what other option he had?

“I couldn't.” Arthur said, looking into his drink, unable to withstand their judgment on his weakness.

“But were your friends.” Elyan said simply, but it might as well have been a slap to the face.

“Yeah, no one should go through that alone.” Percival state matter of fact.

“Yeah, princess.”

They all thought they were his friends? We never said that we were, how long did they think this? It didn’t matter, he had friends, a lot of friends apparently. Arthur knew they shared camaraderie, a mutual trust but friendship too. He never was able to say he had friends. Father had always said trust was a sign of weakness and that weakness will be taken advantage of if he had friends. Adviser and camaraderie among knights were fine but it seems that all this time they considered him a friend and he didn’t know. For the first time since it happened he smiled.

“Thank you.” was all he could say but in those words were a million other things.

“You have more people who care about you than you know.” Lancelot gave a small smile.

For the first time in days when the silence came he didn't hear screams or felt the pain in his bones. He didn’t think about the trek he had to make alone but that he was surrounded by people who cared about him, not prince Arthur but just Arthur.

Chapter Text

“Merlin, do you know that your wings glow when you're doing magic!” his uncle asked frantically.

What! Merlin let out two indignant trills. No, how could he? He hasn’t been able to call upon his magic since it happened. His magic felt like it had been in a long sleep. Just like a fitful sleep Merlin could feel it toss and turn barely coherent, not enough for him to do any magic. In those fits it felt like clawing at his skin to get out. It’s fighting to bubble to the surface to be at his call to be let out much like his younger years in Ealdor.

One thing is for sure, Merlin nor his magic did not like the thought of possibly being eaten. His magic responded to the panicky feeling. The need of having to see the sky nearly overtook him again. Like a scared little kid he told himself to take deep breaths, he is not a child, he should know better, bird or not.

Merlin gaze landed on the glass left on the floor where he made the vials explode. It seems to catch the light more than it should have as if it was clearer? No, that’s not right. More noticeable maybe.

“Merlin, was this your first time doing magic as a?” Gaius gestures to himself.

Merlin gave two clips to respond, yes. The rush of having his magic finally answer him filled him with relief. The magic he possessed found the floodgates. It no longer boils and claws at his fingers and heart. Merlin focused on the shards of glass on the floor, it caught the light like jewels it was mesmerizing to watch. It struck him, he wouldn’t be physically able to say any spells he knew to fix what he had done and yet his magic did it on its own. focus Merlin, imagine the pieces coming together he told himself.

The familiar tug from his magic responded, the energy of warmth spread to the tips of his feathers much like he would have with his fingers. Instead of his magic releasing a burst of energy like a scream it just listens to him knowing what he wanted to do. Slowly the vials of glass were no longer broken and now lay on the table ready to be put away by the physician. He knew his eyes glowed as he did magic. His mother made sure he knew at the earliest of his understanding. This felt different. As his magic responds to his call it felt freer. As if it could breathe easily now it was not just regulated to his eyes. Did magic and flying feel similar?

“It's more important than ever to keep your magic concealed!” Gaius’s voice shook.

Merlin knew his magic never left him, it just it too was getting used to the small body. It felt too much, there was too much magic for his new form. He worried if he gave his magic an inch it would run rampant but when it did ‘run rampant’ it just broke a few glass bottles. Nothing he imagined doing when it was let out. It felt good, the closest thing to feeling normal. And all Gaius could say was to keep it even more under lock and key. How was he even supposed to protect Arthur now!

“don't give me that look. You're in even more danger now that your feathers glow. At least you could close your eyes while doing magic but now you have no way of hiding.”

Hiding, it always came down to hiding. He hoped for the day when he wouldn’t have to hide, to be free. He almost wanted to laugh at the cold irony of it all. He often looked to the sky to wonder about the golden age, about freedom, now he belongs to the skies too.

Of course, why does fate have to be so cruel? Said Merlin voiced by a bird.

Gaius took a deep sigh. “I know that is not what you want to hear but it's the only way to keep you safe my boy.”

The worst part about it all, he knew his uncle was right. That’s the only way it would be safe, to only do magic in the walls of the chambers. But how could he? At any rate Arthur would be in even more trouble now that he is a falcon. Against magical threats it is a bloody miracle that Arthur survived his childhood. Merlin’s Magic squirmed at the thought of hiding. Even if he would hide his magic in the chambers Gaius always said how dangerous it was to practice here. That is why he also started practicing more and more in the abandoned tower away from eyes and ears where he could just be Merlin.

He could feel his magic begging to be set free again, Pleading! Merlin had to stamp it down before it could act on its own accord like it had so many times in his childhood, hell even when he first came to Gaius it would act on its own. Freezing time as it pleased, his magic started to listen to him the more he used it. By learning and practicing the magic he possessed acted out less, it was happy to be used. If Merlin turns his back on his own magic now, he knows deep in his bones that it will start acting of its own accord once again. Some users could simply go on and never cast another spell again like Gaius but for him that never would be an option.

There was a polite knock at the door. It was nothing like the knights when they decided to visit.

“We will talk more about this later.” Gaius said with conviction. In that tone Merlin knew it would not be forgotten about.

Merlin rolls his eyes, talk. Like they were actually having a conversation. More like being talked at.

Then Gwen entered the physician’s chambers. “I think I came up with a way for Merlin to speak.” she proclaims victoriously.

He would have raised his eyebrows if he had any, Merlin looked over at his uncle. Apparently, Gwen already knew the whole story of what happened to Merlin. She came to check on him just like Arthur had when he was unconscious. When she first heard the rumor, she came to the chambers to see if it was true. Strange and awful things were not uncommon in Camelot, to her dismay it was, that’s when she learned of what transpired in the woods. Ever since Gwen has been trying to figure out ways that could help her friend.

“He’s awake! Why did nobody tell me?” Gwen asked. Narrowing her eyes at the physician in question. Merlin snickered at her abruptness which came out like a shrill kak, kak, kak sound.

“Half the castle thinks it a rumor and the other half believes it because in the past week you haven’t been seen with Prince Arthur.”

The whole castle knows. Merlin knew it wouldn’t take long, the rumor mill is fast and sometimes they’re right. He truly wishes it was a rumor, a rumor would have been a lot more fun than this. What did the other servants think? In his time as a servant, he has gotten to know others fairly enough. He the closest with Gwen of course but he gotten to know Sally in the kitchen and Scott the actual stable boy, who could hold a conversation quite well.

“Gaius told me you were literate even before coming to Camelot so this will make everything easier, You're pretty lucky. I mean not lucky that you're a Merlin obviously but lucky you can read.”

Oh, he missed Gwen. She was the type of friend he could rely on. Always so kind but don’t let that fool you, she is as smart as a whip. Let us hear it, Merlin said, hopefully they would understand what he was trying to convey.

“May I?” she gestured to the table as best as she could with all the parchment in her hands.

Gwen and Gaius sat down at the table where Merlin was perched. Gwen laid the papers down on the table. The one that caught Merlin’s eyes was the one with the alphabet scribed in big letters, the others were blank. “I hope your good at spelling.” Gwen said after everything was out. She continued “every word you say is going to need to be spelled out. You can stand on the letter. Me or whoever you’re trying to talk to can write out the sentence letter by letter.”

A smile spread across Gaius’s face “That’s brilliant!”

Gwen smile back “I’ll be here to help in anyway, even if I have to help read those old books of yours.”

“Well, I don’t think that would be necessary, beside I’m afraid Arthur has beaten you to it.” Gaius said maybe a little too fast.

As much as Merlin loved Gwen that would be a disastrous way for her to find out that they had illegal books on magic. So best not.

“that’s even better more eyes.” Gwen insisted.

Merlin could see in Gwen’s eyes that she would argue to help because it was the right thing to do. Gwen has helped him many times in the past, but she can’t help him with this. Arthur shouldn’t be either but it’s different since Geoffrey has only given him approved books that won’t be any help since magic has been fundamentally erased from Camelot’s Libraries. He steps onto the piece of parchment which grabs the attention of the both of them. Merlin decided to start with something simple.

‘Hi’ since the H and the I are right next to each other so Gwen wouldn’t have to waste parchment.

Both his uncle and friend were silent for only a moment. Then they started laughing. They laugh and laugh like Merlin told the funniest joke they ever heard. It was almost a sound of disbelief. And after a moment Merlin joined in although to them it was amused bird noises.

“My boy, I am not used to you being so quiet but now we can talk.” Gaius leaned forward to give his nephew a hug but realizing that was not the best choice of action, so he patted Merlin’s head instead. Merlin understood and didn’t protest.

“Merlin how are you feeling?” Gwen asks nervously, almost not wanting to know the answer.

It took awhile since he had to hop from letter to letter, but he soon finishes his reply. ‘It still hurts It was so painful and everything is too big too bright too loud.’ He was tortured, then had all his bones and muscles and tendons torn apart and fit back together.

The merriment ended sooner than Merlin would have wanted but he needed a remedy, this was the first time he could ask. The physician immediately got up from his chair and went to work. Gwen’s smile faded from her face and a pang of sadness hit him.
Gaius came back with a small bowl with the mixer in it that smelled so bad it made his eyes water and burn.

“Now I don’t know how well this will work. We will have to see since I am not a veterinarian. I diluted it with water, and it should be easier to drink but this should help with the pains.” Merlin grimaced at the mud color water, but he did quite literally ask for this, so he held his breath and gulped it down. He tried not to gag at the horrible taste.

“After one candle mark, you will need to tell me how you feel so I can make adjustments.”

Merlin, still standing on the parchment responded. ‘Thank you, Gaius.’

The old man smiles in return.

All afternoon Merlin was answering questions that the two had. First was Gaius questions about what hurts. How long. In turn Merlin asked what would be the best herbs for him to use now and which ones were and weren’t toxic to him. Gwen couldn’t keep herself from snickering at the exchanges since the physician was debating with a bird.

Gwen would ask question more about how it was being a type of falcon. Like what are the differences of having falcon eyes compare to human eyes which is a question that he didn’t know how to answer exactly. Or did his feathers have the same sense of touch. It was overwhelming and frustrating and wonderful he could finally speak. It was slow but he had a voice now.

Gaius did mention a spell they might be able to find to restore his voice, but they haven’t gotten the chance to research. But that just brought up more questions. How would they explain how he got his voice back but not his body. How would Gwen the knights and Arthur react to him having a voice as an actual Merlin. It was too much but right now he could speak without all those other questions.

Soon the candle mark sounded, and it was time to figure out if the dosage was enough but before they could Gwen shot up “It’s been a candle mark already! I’m sorry but I really must get back to my duties or I be so behind in preparations of the feast. I’ll be back I promise.” We bid her goodbye, then it was just the physician and the merlin in the chambers.

A feast, great just great. Of course, there has to be a feast! The news of the upcoming event made Merlin’s blood boil. Why now, just his luck. Feasts were the worst, they only led to misfortune. How on earth was he supposed to protect the royal clotpole from being assassinated, of course this just made everything so much more complicated.

Since he slept for four days and took another few to recover, he has missed so much. Who would ever keep a falcon in the loop of the on goings in the castle. Now it is clear he will have to rely on others’ intel to make sure Arthur stays alive.

That damn witch just had to turn him into a damn bird! She just had to go a muck everything up. It was always up to him to solve the messes of revenge seeking sorcerers or that tyrant of a king makes. But right now, there seem to be no answers. The first is to read through every book in the chamber to look for some answers but there is no way for him to regain his body in time. That witch might not even be a witch according to Percival.

“Your magic boy.” Gaius’s words struck him out of his thoughts enough to realize that various things around the chambers started to rise. Books, pieces of parchment and chairs, including the one Gaius was sitting in, were suspended with no incantation or with him thinking about it to make it so. Then everything came crashing when merlin realized what he was doing.

His mentor cries out at the sudden drop. “Easy!”

This couldn’t be happening. His magic hasn’t been this reactive since he was a kid.

“Well figure this out my boy.”

‘I hope you right.’ Said Merlin by hopping letter to letter.

“It will” the old man tried to reassure him to little avail. Then he continues.
“I know you tried of hiding and pretending to be someone you’re not. I know that one day everyone will get to see you for who your really are.”

“it’s been years since I first heard the prophecy and the hatred for magic has gotten worst.” Merlin spelled.

“Change takes time and with Uther hatred being so unyielding for so long it will take twice as long to undo the damage.”

Merlin knew that. It will never be the way it was before the purge.

“I know I should have let Arthur kill Uther. we would be living in the golden age right now but the guilt would have slowly killed him too.”

“There is no point in thinking about what has already been done. Arthur is still made of magic and in time telling him the truth will help him heal to.”

As Merlin got to know Arther more and see him for who he truly is. his magic became more drawn to him. It was troubling. Was it the same stupid wonderful feeling that made his heart ache that also made his magic want to be closer to him or did his magic recognize that Arther too was magic. The memory of two sides of the same coin echoes in Merlin’s head.

“The only reason why I tell you to stay hidden and warn you of the dangers so often is because I have come to think of you as a son and I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

It wasn’t the first time Gaius had referred to him as a son, hearing it again reminded him that all his talk about hiding truly came from a place of caring.

‘And you are like a father to me.’

Gaius tried to hide the water that pooled in his eyes at the little sentence that was written on the parchment. He knows that right now Merlin is going to need a lot more help. He is still competent but mentally and magically this is not going to be easy. All he could do was be there for his boy.

Chapter Text

The castle was a buzz much like Arthur’s hangover. Sitting in another council meeting bored out of his mind Arthur found himself definitely not daydreaming. That is a total unprincely thing to do. It’s not like he kept on replaying the memory of Lancelot’s words or anything. The previous night at the tavern persisted though. His knights saw him just as much as a friend as they did crown prince. Something still didn’t add up and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was.

“isn’t that right prince Arthur.” Uther said, clearing his throat.

Shit, Arthur silently cursed himself for being so distracted today. “I’m sorry, I’m still afflicted with ringing in my ears. Could you repeat the question. Arthur lied, wishing it were smooth enough to be believed.

Uther gave an annoyed huff. “The welcome feast is tonight, and I entrust that you will entertain Lady Kate.”

“But of course, Lord David and Lady Kate must be tired after such a long trip.” That was tonight! Arthur hated entertaining guests, no doubt his father would try to see if Arthur fell in love with her. Ugh he just wanted to stay in his chambers where it wouldn’t be loud, and he didn’t have to waste his time in conversation that usually bored him.

“And Arthur I’ve entrusted that you had Gaius check out the ringing in your ears.”

“Yes, it will go away soon.” Arthur responded quickly.

Some of the old council members snickered at the king’s remark.

He hasn't even met her yet but just hearing her name fills Arthur with anger. Lady Kate was the Center of the argument he and Uther had a week ago, that same argument where he told Merlin to ready the horses. He told his father time and time again he would only marry for love. So, what does he do? He’s just been inviting Ladies for a longer duration of time to see if he would end up falling in love. It made his stomach turn.

The conversation turned away from the feast guest list to food preparation which was not better. He was supposed to secure the buck for the feast; it was his fault Merlin was cursed. Arthur spilled the blood of the animal. He didn’t dare tell the king that he shot a sizable buck before the attack and just left it there. It was all just a waste. The only reason he really wanted to go on the hunt in the first place was just to get out of the castle away from his father.

“Thanks to Sir Leon the main course will be Venison.”

He would not give Uther what he wanted, not in this. Arthur will not let him control his heart, his whole future with someone who’s supposed to be his other half. Isn’t he just as deserving as Camelot to have happiness? All Uther cares about is strengthening alliances with the neighboring kingdoms and him having heirs. It always came down to heirs and the legacy of Camelot. Rage bubbled up to the forefront of his mind, he balled his fist his fingernails stinging the palms of his hands. Control your breathing Arthur, trying to range in his thoughts, focus on the meeting he told himself.

“For the next feast Arthur, I ensure you won’t come back empty handed.”

“No, your majesty,” Arthur gritted his teeth, was all he could say without letting his anger win, that would be disastrous for the meeting and for him. Uther would leverage his emotions to state how unbecoming of a prince he is and how he is too young and inexperienced to understand the real responsibility of being King.

Uther stared at him down with cold eyes. Arthur didn’t disrespect him in the words he chose but he could tell he was on thin ice.

The council meeting went on. It was so empty without Merlin without him making faces at what the old men were saying it just felt even more lonely. There was a time he was eager to sit in but that feeling had long left him. Without Merlin by his side, it felt like him versus the whole entire council.

He knew that Leon was there, and he would back him up if Arthur needed it but there was something about Merlin. His presence put him at ease, maybe that’s what it feels to have friendship, but Leon was also a friend, but Merlin was just different.

His heart ached at the thought of Merlin just being a friend. It left him with a lingering sadness he couldn’t place. It made no sense he should be happy that he and Merlin are finally ready to consider each other friends out loud. It was Merlin who didn’t care about titles from day one. It was the first semblance of normal the prince has ever gotten. His wit is like no other. Merlin’s mischievous grin is as warm as the sun and his laugh is just as bright. He loves it when Merlin talks about something he’s excited about, his whole being becomes brighter and his hands try to keep up. He loves Merlin’s constant movement and his inability to stay still. and how the light plays in his hair and his eyes shine like stars. He loves Merlin.

No no no no no.

This can’t be happening Goddess help him! He wasn’t supposed to feel that way for perpetual clumsy and insolent Merlin. With whom he shares lingering glances that last too long, Arthur could deal with small fleeting feelings that didn’t mean anything. Under no circumstances did he ever let himself finish the thought when it got too close to Love. But he let himself slip, he let himself finish the thought that he wouldn’t let himself finish for years now. It felt like he opened a box he would be unable to close. He could feel his face heat up without a doubt making his face red. Merlin who has unshakable beliefs in him no matter what. Who saved his life right after he threw him in the stocks for the first time. The man who drank poison for him. The man who can’t walk on his own two feet without falling and who steals his breakfast every day. The man who he fallen in love with a long time ago.
“You seem off today… Prince Arthur is everything okay?” Leon almost whispered hoping to get him to pay attention, so Uther doesn’t go on another tirade.
“Yes sir Leon I just have a lot on my mind.” Arthur snapped back a little too quickly.

It was his fault that he was no longer human!

***

Merlin and his Mentor were starting to get somewhere. Books were spread out and opened on every available surface. Gaius started to accumulate an impressive stack of notes that was a lot more organized than the princes’ chambers at the moment. Now Merlin was doing instinctual magic, it was much easier to do things now much to Gaius’ worry.

Merlin levitated another book towards him and flipped it open. The old man eyed him like he wanted to say something but then they would have to resolve Gwen’s version of communication when they are actively trying to find the spell to restore his speech.

Having his voice again would make everything so much easier. Who would he be able to talk to? Not too many people can know. That would only lead to Uther who would just order him to be executed right there for ‘corrupting magic.’ I guess he should be lucky it hasn’t already happened. Lancelot is a given. The only other person he can confide in is his magic.

When Merlin first showed the knight the forgotten tower with all the books and artifacts he acquired over the years; Lancelot just about had heart failure. When your friend is in possession of enough magical objects that could start being considered a study it causes worry and a few gray hairs. Once he got over the initial shock of all the illegal contraband that could easily get them now both hugged or burned alive Lancelot became more curious and would often watch him practice if time let him. Merlin dreads the day Gaius finds out.

Merlin magic knew what was coming before it quite literally barged in through the door. The door flung open Merlin’s magic knowing what to do cast a glamouring all the spell books into books on herbs which elicit a scoff from Gaius who now couldn’t read the spells.
“Good afternoon Gaius I need Merlin!” Gwanie yelled as he ran over to the table.

“What on earth could you possibly need Merlin for?” The physician yelled at the knight.

Gwanie scooped up the bird into his arms, grabbing him before Merlin could make his escape.Before he knew it Gwanie had carried him out of the chambers before the half drunken knight shut the door again, he shouted back “I’m going to help teach Merlin how to fly!”

“Will you stop it?” the knight whined as Merlin squirmed in his kidnappers grasp. Gaius' help he called out the no response was not a surprise but could have his uncle try harder for him not be forcefully taken by the man who reeked of mead.

“Ouch! Really Merlin pecking now I’m just trying to help.” Aww yes help by doing what exactly is throwing me off a cliff. Merlin squirmed so much more trying to get out of the grip of the knight.

“It’s ok birdy I’ll help you’ll see.” Merlin squawked angrily birdy! oh no you don’t Merlin peaked at the knight’s fingers.

“Okay sheech I won’t call you that again okay.”

Put me down! Merlin tried to yell at the knight again.

“Geeez Merls your fine were here anyways.”

It wasn’t the cliff that Merlin envisions himself being thrown off but the training field. Which was even more suspicious, there were no windows to be thrown from or from the top of the turrets.

“Look mate you don’t have legs, how do you expect to get around? have you even tried to fly yet?” The knight did have a point. He had been too busy trying to find any spell that could help him and when he wasn’t doing that, he and his uncle were being interrupted.

“Ahh! see I knew it, you can’t get anything past me.” Gwanie said with satisfaction.
Merlin rolled his eyes at the knight.

“Well let’s start.”

And with that the knight threw the Merlin straight up into the air. Merlin let out the most feral screeech. What in the name of the triple goddess herself was Gwaine thinking. Thankfully Gwaine is an excellent aim, so he was able to catch him when he fell back to the ground.

“Come on Merlin you got to flap those wings of yours!” The madman said with too much calmness for Merlin’s liking. The knight did in fact catch him but that was absolutely beside the point. You shouldn’t just catapult someone!

“One, two,” wait no! Merlin tries to protest “Three!” The knight threw him into the air again.

“AAAAHH” Merlin felt the wind pass through his feathers as he was launched into the air by the knight below. He didn’t weigh much and that worked to Gwaine’s treacherous advantage. Up, up, up, right before he starts to drop back down to earth he opened his eyes. The vastness of blue was right above him. Then he landed back to earth with a screeeeeeeeech.

“Come on Merls you gotta learn how to fly somehow.” Merlin looked past the knight and up at the sky. He had wondered his whole life what it would be like from up there looking down. All his life he watched the clouds pass, and change, and build; the vast sky was his escape from the small village. When he started to understand how different he really was he looked at the sky. Now he had a chance to know what it was like.

“I can see it in your eyes, you want to just flap your wings this time.” With that Gwaine launched him into the air. He didn’t keep his eyes squeezed shut this time. He watched as he moved further away from the ground. It wasn’t flying, not by a long shot. He flailed his arms, no wings as wind whistled past his feathers. He was falling but it was the closest he ever felt to flying.

They did this over and over again. With each time Merlin became more confident in his wings. He was not yet powerful enough to fly and he was clumsy, almost just crashing to the ground entirely but he was getting more adjusted to his new appendages. Maybe he would be able to fly just once before they found the spell to change him back. Merlin knew he shouldn’t be thinking that way, but it felt right.

“What are you doing too him!” A streak of red and silver made its way across the training field. Gawine almost missed catching him as he fell back to the ground. Merlin protested at the near bad landing with a very annoyed sound.

Percival towered over both man and bird but mostly bird. His panicked look said it all. “What have possessed you into doing this?” Percival then gestured to Gawine like he had lost his mind.

“Helping Merlin learn how to fly obviously,” Gawine said.

“And throwing him up and down like a madman is helping?”

“Well, he is getting more comfortable flapping his wings.”

“Oh, Goddess help us.”

Well, Gawine’s kidnapping was the first time Merlin got to use his new wings. The ‘lesson’ if you could even call it that was starting to help better his mobility.

“And you’re okay with this Merlin?” the concerned knight asked.

Merlin in turn gave two bird noises for yes. This whole situation was unorthodox, so he needs an unorthodox way of learning how to fly.
“HA see it is working,” Gawine gave a triumphant laugh.

Percival gave an exasperated sigh, rubbing the bridge of his noise. “Okay fine but you can’t just keep on throwing Merlin like that.” Percival then ran a hand through his hair.

“Then what do you suggested?” Gawine voice was starting to get annoyed.

“He also going to need to. I don’t know. Turn or maybe land.” Percival said nonchalantly.

“Good point but one thing at a time.” Gawine then lunched Merlin up in the air again which Merlin squawked at indignantly. Does he really have to be thrown without warning. It’s not too much to ask for. It started to get on his nerves and at this point the knights showed no signs of ceasing their bickering.

Merlin put his annoyance into his wings. Flapping harder, commanding the air around him to keep him in the air. Up, down, up, down, his wings burned from the exercise. Fighting against the pain and wanting to get away from the spiraling spat below he willed himself. To stay put.
Then Merlin broke the rhythm. He stayed longer and longer in the air. The two knights finally noticed that Merlin hadn’t fallen back to the field and looked up. Merlin saw them perfectly even though he had to be 30 feet up in the air. The arguing below turns into cheers. The knights hooped and holler.

“You’re doing it Birdy!”

“Yeaaah Merlin.” Percival cheers.

Merlin would have rolled his eyes again at the stupid nickname, but he was so happy. He was flying, kind of it was the first step now he needed to figure out how to go forward and Percival was right how was he going to land?

Who cares the wind felt amazing. He felt it ring through his bones as if he was jumping into frigid waters, there was magic up here too. Magic he wouldn’t have even thought about if it wasn’t for this instance. It was different and the same. It was familiar, something that was always there but Merlin didn’t notice it until now. He revels in the new magic that engulf his soul, he was the first man to know flight. There was magic in the wind as well as the earth!
For the first time since the curse Merlin didn’t feel hopeless. How could he when he stay put in the air and feel the magic of the sky. In the eternity of blue that was in front of him Merlin let the wind guide him. He went higher and higher climbing until he could see the whole training field. He could see the tops of trees and into the lower town. for a moment the wind seems to sing ‘Welcome to the sky Emry.’ The wind allowed him to keep rising as if the magic of the sky was embracing him for the first time and in a way it is. How was he supposed to land now just when he found a place that welcomed him. wind still whistles in his ear, heart pounding. He was flying the clouds pass through him making his feathers damp; it was as if they were playing with him. Merlin laughed a real laugh that made his side hurt and his voice raw.

Chapter Text

The meeting was finally called to an end, the old lords got up from their seats. Arthur got up from his uncomfortable chair and he also felt stiff from sitting too long. “Arthur, you have not been dismissed yet.” The Voice the Uther used put Arthur on edge, it was laced with accusation. It was the same tone the king would use if Arthur got out of line. He doesn’t know Arthur told himself. He doesn’t know that he has fallen for Merlin.
Gaius made his way into the room and bowed to Uther then to him. “You have sent for me Sire.” Gaius looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

“Yes.” Uther drawls “Tell me have you made any progress on the boys… condition?”

Arthur stiffens. He’s been doing the best he can to help Gaius but no matter how hard they look it seems neither of them have found anything.

Gaius bowed his head “I have been doing the best I can sire. I haven’t seen anything like this before.” His voice was thick with grief.

The king’s brow knits together “That is truly unfortunate Gaius. Now is this infection contagious.”

“Father Merlin doesn’t have a disease.” Arthur couldn’t help the anger that was rising in his throat.

“Magic is the disease Arthur I expect you to know better!” Uther roared.

“No sire, the magic that Merlin was struck with showed no signs of spreading to others.” Gaius gave Arthur a knowing glance that said control yourself. Tactics Arthur reminded himself he was still in the council meeting but this time it wasn’t him against the counsel.

“Good.” Uther said pensively, His shoulders relax just slightly, anyone else would have missed it, but Arthur was also trained in the strategy room as well with the sword.

“How can we be sure that the boy is still in there and it’s not just a regular merlin?”

“Merlin still understands communication and can still communicate by spelling out words.” Arthur spoke with calmness but the fire in his bones told another story.

Uther kept sitting on his throne deep in thought. The room was silent for what felt like years till the King broke the silents once more. “Very well Gaius, you can keep looking for a cure for this disease but for as long as Merlin is sick, he can’t be your apprentice. I can’t have the future of Camelot’s health be compromised if the boy can’t be cured.”

“I understand sire. I’ll start looking.”

Arthur often forgets that originally Merlin came here to be the next physician of Camelot. It was the very reason he was here. On missions Merlin skills came in handy when his knights or himself became wounded in battle. Merlin insisted on never going on a mission without his medical bag. Arthur even teased Merlin about it, calling him a mother hen. He almost laughs at the memory that seemed like a million years ago.
Uther viewing Merlin as sick and not infected is the best-case scenario. He could see in the man’s eyes his apprehension of the curse. Arthur just needed to sway the king into thinking it a harmless thing to the people of Camelot. How dangerous can a bird be? He was so clumsy to begin with he can’t be any more of a threat than a fly.

“Very good you’re both dismissed” Both prince and physician made their way to the door when the king spoke up once more. “And Arthur, do I need to remind you of the evils of magic?” Arthur turns around to face the king once more.

Arthur gritted his teeth, his nails cut into the palms of his hands, “No sire I am well aware what magic has taken.”

“Good. another outburst like that and the dungeon will remind you. You will not question me, I am your king.”

“Yes, your majesty.” Arthur bowed to the King holding back bile. Uther smiles at the act.

How dare he! Magic has taken his mother, Morgana, and it came so close to taking the person he cares about most. He didn’t need to be reminded what magic could do. He has seen up close the danger it possesses. Did the king forget how many assassinations attempts he lived through?

When the door was shut behind Arthur turns to Gaius “I will do anything in my power to help.” Arthur just about whispered the words to the physician. Then he turned on his heels and marched back to his chambers. Gaius already knew that Arthur would do anything for his nephew and for that he was grateful, but Gaius was also instructed by Uther to not let Arthur help at all in the process of finding the answers.

Arthur hurried through the castle and back to his chambers. After he closed the door, he bolted it, so he wouldn’t be disturbed and sat down at the table. Why did he do that! Bowing to a man who likes calling himself king more than his father. The dungeon didn’t scare him anymore, the threat had lost its meaning long ago.

The one memory that Arthur had of his mother came back to him. Before Arthur saw her for the first time, he always wondered what it would have been like if magic hadn’t taken her, he still wonders. He replayed the scene more times than he cares to admit. All the paintings had been removed from the castle; it was the only thing he had of her beside her sigil. Even when Merlin said it wasn’t real Arthur’s belief in that sentiment grew thinner every day.
When anger drove him to the castle to seek revenge he could see true fear in the kings’ eyes, it just wasn’t adding up. Maybe it’s because Uther raised him to kill since birth, and he knew he would lose but something else gnawed at Arthur. He never wielded magic but if magic was what made him live. If he was born of magic, would he be innately evil? He vowed to protect his people for as long as he could remember and if magic was the enemy, then wouldn’t he be the enemy? What if the magic lay sleeping in him. If it ever woke up, Arthur already made up his mind he would step down as king. He would need a predecessor; it couldn’t be Merlin being raised on a farm; none of the council members would accept him. Leon then. Arthur had known him for as long as he could remember, he knew the ins and outs of politics and court. Just in case he does get corrupt Leon would be his first choice.

Arthur's head swam, there was too much, this was all too much. How did his life become like this? The sooner he can resolve Merlin’s ‘sickness’ everything can go back to how it should be. Sickness, how dare the king describe Merlin that way. He wasn’t sick! It was a curse, yes, but a disease? Arthur grabbed the nearest cup and threw it as hard as he could. The glass shattered when it hit the wall. A guttural growl left his throat, it was the type of sound that left him raw.

He slipped to the floor surrounded by the papers that had all his notes. He let himself get to close with his manservant of all people. He needs to stop this; this couldn’t be happening. Nothing could happen between them even if he wanted to. A sharp pain shot through his chest. What was he thinking? There was no use, the words can’t go back to being shoved in the back of his mind where it was excusable for simple unconscious dreams. Where Arthur could think about the dimples Merlin gets when he smiles wholeheartedly or how his hair is as dark as the night sky.

It was fine when he could just think about these things when he was barely awake in the early morning, so it was easily excusable as his mind humored him. Under no circumstances can Arthur ever let his father find out. At best he’ll be banished at worst… Arthur didn’t let himself finish the thought. How could he let this happen? How could he just let himself fall in love with someone he knows he could never be with. Could he? No, don't even think about it Arthur told himself. What if you could have a life with him.

It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest, he had to push Merlin away, it would be the only way for him to be safe. Merlin had called him selfish time and again, but Arthur knew he never meant it. Would he be selfless enough to tell Merlin to leave? Merlin has never listened to him, His heart warmed at the fact he loved that about him too. A lump formed in Arthur’s throat, would he listen if he told him to leave so he wouldn’t be killed because of his selfish affections.

Arthur already knew the answers, Merlin was too stupid and foolish and loyal to listen to him even if it was for his own good. Why is Merlin so willing to put himself in danger, why doesn’t he have a shred of self-preservation? Maybe he felt the same. The dangerous thought crept into the back of his mind. No. He pushed the silly idea aside; it was because of his loyalty to Camelot. Arthur, try as he might, he couldn’t help his heart swell just a little at the foolish notion.

Arthur got up from the floor and took stock of the room. He had to order George not to tidy it up to the servant’s dismay. To others his room might look like the ramblings of a madman with papers strung across the floor and countless books open in different places. Looking at all his work reminded him of how exhausted he truly was. His shoulders and back ache from being hunched over too long. Even his eyes ached from all the reading. Every moment of free time has been spent on finding something that could help Merlin and nothing else. It was all amounting to nothing! Nothing in all these books and tomes have told him of anything of use. Every book he got from Geoffrey has not brought him any closer to the answer. He knows that books mentioning magic would be limited but everything seems to be wiped from the library. The answers he seeks were burned long ago.

Arthur moved to the window, unable to stand looking at the mess anymore. It was a clear spring day; the weather had warmed up considerably. It was the type of day that made you forget the winter a few weeks prior, the type of day Arthur would have jumped at the opportunity to get out of the castle. The type of day Merlin would make flimsy excuses so he could spend time outside.

Then something caught his eye. A gray smudge smeared across the sky dividing the training field. All his knights were surrounding it and Gwaine was in the middle of the circle of knights. Gwaine, Goddess helps him whatever show he’s putting on can’t be good. Arthur squinted his eyes trying to get a better look. Then the knight threw what he was holding straight up in the air. The gray smudged then held in the air longer than it should have and as it descended it moved slower. Wings! It had wings! Merlin! Arthur ran out of his chamber and down to the training field as fast as he could.

***
“What do you think you’re doing!” All the knights turn to the prince, Arthur surges forward towards the knight who threw Merlin in the air. Now in retrospect tackling Gwaine to the ground with nobody planning to catch the falcon was a bad idea. Arthur would begrudgingly acknowledge that later but right now he was furious.

“The hell!”

Lancelot scrambled trying to catch Merlin. And Merlin who was trying to control how to land suddenly had to try and not get concussed. Lancelot stretched out his hands while running over to Merlin. Merlin aimed for Lancelot’s forearm and they both hit the ground unprepared for the turn of events.
Percival, who was twice the size of Arthur, yanked him off the ground away from Gwaine. Elyan simultaneously pulled Gwanie by to prevent a fight breaking out. Leon rushed over to Lancelot and Merlin helping them up and quickly checking them over. Merlin perched on Lancelot’s wrist. Before anything was said Merlin gave a high pitched shrill that would have made prey look for cover. Even though nobody could truly understand him, the message came across.

“What is wrong with you?” Arthur shouted at Gwaine.

“Calm down princess he didn’t get hurt until you decided to bloody tackle me! And look he can even fly now, sort of.” Gwaine tried to reassure him.

“No, everything is not good. Your idea of teaching Merlin how to fly is to throw him up in the air! Do you know how dangerous that is? He is so clumsy he could have broken his neck.”

I’m not that clumsy, Merlin tried to protest.

“I caught him every time I have the best eye,” Gwaine shot back.

Arthur's eyes burned so hot his knights feared Gwaine would burst into flames. Do they think this is a game? What was Gwaine thinking, throwing him up and down like a heathen and the other knights just watching, amused. In all reality, this sounds like something Merlin would come up with, the stupid country bumpkin that he is. Arthur still seethes but now it seems to make more sense. The prince turns towards the bird in question.

“Merlin, what the hell were you thinking agreeing to this!” Arthur demanded to know.

Goddess, Merlin was so stupid, how did he end up blushing over this man like a maiden? Merlin will be the death of him. He made a note once he’s human again to smack him over the head for his stupidity. Arthur knew that baby birds learned how to fly by falling out of the nest, but Merlin wasn’t born a bird. You can’t expect a bird to know how to read if they turn human. It should be no different.

“He didn’t actually,” Percival stated calmly.

“Really Percival! Why you gotta do me like that?” Gwaine chided the other knight, but it seemed more like kids arguing who gets the last sweets.

“Because I almost tackled you when I first saw it too.” Percival shot back.

“Why does everyone want to tackle me?” Gwaine grumbled.

“Wait! back up what do you mean he didn’t?” Arthur asked, trying to sound as calm as possible but it came out as an exasperated huff.

“He bust down Gaius’s door and kidnapped him.” Leon said simply.

“WHAT” Arthur blanched.

“How did you know!” Gwaine demanded.

“You’re not exactly discrete.” Leon supplied.

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. If he didn’t get white hair by the end of this, it would be a bloody miracle. “Goddess help me. Okay fine but since we’re all out here square up!” Arthur barked.

The knights groan in response. Arthur really needed to blow off some steam and he wasn’t finished with Gwaine just yet. He knows that Gwaine would mean him no harm, at least not intentionally, but nothing was off the cards with stupidity.

Before Merlin knew it the prince and the knights were in the middle of training. They were paired up with one another. The midday sun beat down on them. Training wasn’t scheduled today because of the meeting this morning so none of the knights had their armor on. Arthur then decided that they would practice hand to hand combat.

With all the knights going through their drills thanks to Prince Prat, Merlin made his way under the oak tree where he would usually be stationed during the training sessions. Whatever went on in that meeting Arthur was being more of an ass then normal. Yeah, being kidnap was definitely not on his list of things to do today but Gwaine’s insane method were starting to help Merlin get use to his wings. Thinking back (before Gwaine made his entrance to the physician chambers) his magic kicked in to protect the books from the wrong eyes. Merlin really hoped the glamor he instinctually placed on the books wore off.

He should be getting back to Gaius if the ‘lesson’ was over for him. There was no point in sitting here when he could be finding spells that could help him. Going back to the stuffy chambers clawed at him, he wouldn’t be able to see the endless moving sky. Merlin hadn’t experienced claustrophobia before, but the stone castle walls made him feel a tightness in his chest. Also, it was the nicest day he had seen in a while. The grass seems to glow in the light and the slight breeze calls his name.

Merlin felt the energy of magic before it had time to make itself known to the eyes. The light swirling in the sky in the same patterns he felt in the wind. He looked at the knights. They didn’t even bat an eye at the beautiful magic that filled the air. They couldn’t see it. The magic lingers all around them, it tousles their hair and soars on the wind. Wait it was the wind, Merlin was witnessing the magic of the sky. He could feel it all around him. It felt like freedom, a promise of a dance that could take him higher than he could have ever thought possible.

He had to answer the call of the sky. It was the thought of a madman or maybe just the instincts of a bird. He could always feel the magic of the earth, it raised him. The magic of the sky was quiet, maybe because it was such a quaint day. Raging storms weren’t uncommon in the summer, how would it be then? The soft breeze tickles his face. The magic of the sky whispered, ‘come see my domain young warlock.’

He had to. Merlin was seeing the sky for the first time. He was born a person; he was supposed to spend his life on the ground and yet the magic calls out like it had his whole life and he was just now hearing it. The magic of the sky has been just as much of a constant as the magic of the earth.

I’m sorry I haven’t seen you before Merlin tells the wind. It hums a little sound like it understood why. There is still so much he doesn’t know about the world. This wonderful magic had always been present, Gaius told him his eyes still look human, but he could see so much more now. He wasn't told how to do magic but there is magic in the sky, maybe it is simpler than they thought.

Merlin stretched out his wings; he could feel the wind pass through his feathers so effortlessly. He closed his eyes taking it all in, feeling the new magic like an embrace of an old friend. Merlin calls out to the wind. The wind responds with a hum as he feels his own magic hum back. Then with a leap and flapping his wings he took off.

With all his might Merlin brought his wings up and pushed them forcefully down. He did it again, and again. Merlin relinquished his hold of the earth and reached for the sky. The struggle between the ground tried to pull him back not wanting to let go of the warlock. With a woosh Merlin felt the pull of the earth clawing him back down. Everything became a blur as he tumbled back.

I’m not leaving forever Merlin told the magic that lays deep in the life that live there.

Merlin could feel the magic of the earth let go. He felt nothing for a minute, no ground, no sky, just openness. Regained his balance, he no longer was falling headfirst down off the training field. The connection was still there but it grew further away, as the sky took him into their domain for the first time.

In the air he stretched out his wings as far as he could. Harnessing the wind and the magic, he steadies himself. The gold light was all around him. Much like when Merlin was deep in the forest the easier he could feel the magic of the earth. The higher the wind took him the magic became stronger. He was flying high; he looked over the field and the mountain that guarded Camelot. The wisps of clouds swirled and plays over his feathers.

He adjusted the angle of his wings against the wind. Merlin ends up catching the wind even higher passing through the clouds at a remarkable speed. The sheer force of the uptake makes Merlin see stars. Dizziness overwhelmed him though he couldn’t find himself to care. He was flying! Merlin cheering went unheard on the ground, but the calls of rapture made the prince and knights stop their drills as they looked to the sky.

The wind carries the sound of Lancelot’s voice up to him. “He's flying everyone, Merlin is flying!” Despite how high Merlin was he could see the ground with startling clarity. The other knights were stunned at first in awe that their friend had figured out how to do something they would never get to do or understand. “I always knew you could do it!” Gawain shouted at the top of his lungs. The knights cheering towards the sky. Merlin cheering in a high pitch noise that almost sounded like laughter.

The group of knights erupted into yells and cheers celebrating their friend's accomplishment. Merlin wanted to go higher until he could touch all the clouds and feel the true embrace of the sky. The flying started a burning sensation in his wings. It was clear that Merlin wouldn’t be able to stay up there forever, but the magic of the sky had welcomed him and invited him with openness. The magic that was always there but never seen, it was so beautiful.

How could he ever go back to being on the ground when he was just starting to get to know the magic the lives up here. He will turn back human eventually, Merlin resolved that before the spell is cast, or the potion is drunk he will say goodbye to the sky. For now, he will have to enjoy it when he can. Now for the hard part, landing. Merlin was so eager about being engulfed in the sky he didn’t think about how he would come down. Merlin stretched out his wings and stopped flapping. He let the wind take him. Merlin starts to glide in the wind, he circles around the field descending in a lazy corkscrew.

The knights spread out in a wide circle trying to give a place for Merlin to land. They cheered and yelled just as much when he was in the air. They all try to outdo each other to see who could cheer the loudest, in which Arthur was the winner. When Merlin touched down, he stumbled and skittered to the ground. When Merlin got back up to his feet all the knights knelt around him, so they didn’t loom over him like the giants they are.

“Merlin, you were bloody brilliant Birdy!” Gwaine.

“You were truly incredible!” Lancelot added.

“You touched the sky how did it feel!” congratulated Leon.

“you’re really putting those feathers to use” Percival beamed.

“You really put on a show!” Elyan cheered.

“Even as a bird you're clumsy as ever Merlin.” Arthur proclaimed and all the knights joined in a boisterous laugh and Merlin laughed along with them. It was so warm down here the earth’s magic reached him again. The light was all around them. Merlin didn’t realize how cold it would be the higher he went. He was shaking but he was unsure if it was from the cold or the thrill he felt from flying.

One thing is for certain, he will never be the same again.

Chapter Text

“Lady Kate and her father Lord Darin have arrived early. The feast is still schedule tonight.” King Uther spoke in a commanding tone even though it was just the two of them in the throne room. Arthur kept his head bowed to show respect to his king. He had had too many outbursts to his king and needed to control himself.

“I see my king.” His words were hard even to his ears.

“Arthur you will show the Lady around the castle and the kingdom.” Uther continued.

“Yes, your highness.” Was all Arthur could manage.

“Arthur I never understand why your so opposed to these things.”

Opposed! Has his father forgotten all the assassination attempts on his life? No, his father remembers but the king forgets. Arthur stayed silent, there was no point in having this argument again. He didn’t have the energy; all his energy had been going to find something, anything to help Merlin. He has been through all the legal books mentioning magic and has found nothing.

“Arthur Camelot needs an heir you know that.” Uther said in a less harsh voice.

“And Camelot needs someone who will love them just as much as I hope to love someone one day.”
Uther soften, it would have been noticeable to the untrain eye.

“Your love for Camelot is undoubtable my son just keep an open mind. You are dismissed.” There it was just for a moment before him was his father and not the king.

***
The morning in the castle was as normal as it usually was in Camelot except for one glaring thing. The Merlin flying around the castle. With Merlin’s newfound freedom of movement, he was still able to do some of his old tasks. He would be making deliveries as the physician pretended to do interviews to replace him. His uncle said it will ‘show that he still capable in understanding and it would be good for him to get out of the chambers.’ So of course, he couldn’t escape from his duty even as a falcon.

At first Merlin protested how dare he become a delivery pigeon. The nerve, he shouldn’t be delivering medicine and their instructions to the people of the castle. He should be testing his limits to see how high up he could fly before needing to come back down to the earth but alas that needs to come after his chores.

The castle buzz with anticipation the servants doing laundry, cleaning, cooking and as they did those tasks they gossiped, ‘it’s fruitless for the king to play matchmaker remember the troll incident.’ ‘don’t remind me.’ Merlin busted out laughing as a bird he had much better hearing.

Dodging, weaving in and out of servants and nobles Merlin decided to see how fast he could go. His ability improved on how to move his wings; he has gotten much better at flying after a few collisions with multiple people. Merlin knew that the inhabitants of the castle took pity on the boy forced into the body of a bird. He tries to not look at their faces when they try to say something encouraging. But he could use his clumsiness as an excuse now, ‘oh sorry I crashed into you and knocked over your clean laundry I’m not used to flying,’ he would only get scolded on being more careful.

After that incident he made a point to fly above everyone’s head as he shot up and down corridors. With one goal in mind. Go faster. The people of the castle would call out and duck as he passed just above their heads. The only drawback was he had to make deliveries one at a time, so the medicine didn’t get mixed up.

Merlin was on his third delivery of the day. Flying over people’s heads was practical but weaving through people was more fun. “Watch out it’s Merlin!” Yelled Alice holding a platter of strawberries tarts. All the cooks in the kitchen duck their head and frantically cover the food there preparing. The preparation for the feast tonight was in full swing and everything smelled delicious. Merlin landed on the counter in front of Sally.
“Ah Merlin how are you this morning!” Sally said cheerfully.

The more he interacted with people the better they have gotten at understanding his yes and no answers just by his tone. The servants who still liked talking to him have been putting in the effort to talk to him but the language barrier still want to making pull out his hair no feathers.

“I’m well.” Merlin chirped.

With his beak Merlin undid the knot that held the instructions and medicine to his leg and passed it to the baker.
“You been getting a lot better at that.” Sally laughed.

Sally took the vile and the instructions in neat scribe courtesy of Gaius. She down the liquid making a face at the taste of it.
“Goddess that taste the worst, but it makes the hand pain go away, thank you.”

It was good to know that the medicine has been working. Her pain is at a near constant from all she does in the kitchen. He’ll have to tell the good news to his uncle. Sally tied the empty vile back to merlin’s leg.

“Also, you won’t believe what I heard.” Sally started. Before she could elaborate on the subject Alice hurried over.

“It always good to see you Merlin but Audrey is on her way, and you know what will happened if she sees you in her kitchen.” Alice whispered.
Merlin shivered the first time he came in. He ended up dogging a frypan before Alice could explain what happened to him. The head cook’s remark was less then sympathetic to say the least, “I only want dead animals in my kitchen.” She screamed in a shrill voice. Of course, he just needed to come when Audrey wasn’t around.

“Right, you better be off but not with out payment.” Sally said while giving Merlin some honey almonds.

Merlin wolfed down the sweets, He would take food as payment any day. Being a merlin hasn’t changed his taste that much thankfully, but he has been craving smaller games like rabbit and quail.

Merlin responds to the bakers with two clicks, thanking them both. Then he was off again darting through the castle grounds. Laughing when the servants and nobles ducked as he shot by going so fast they became just a blur.

***
As Arthur escorted the Lady Kate around the castle grounds of Camelot, he found himself questioning every choice that led him up to this moment. The Lady seems despondent like something weighed heavy on her. She was a quiet woman her brown hair swept up under the vail she worn. Growing uncomfortable by the gnawing silence Arthur tried yet again at conversation.

“So, I’ve showed you the great hall the chapel and the stable let’s see…” Arthur took a moment, she has barely given him anything to work with. She just as uninterested as he felt but at least he is trying for the sake of the king and Camelot.

“Would you like to see our library?” maybe she would rather spend her time reading than in conversation.

“A library,” She echoed.

Maybe she was enchanted.

“Please, I must- I mean I would like to see the library.”

Arthur eyebrows shot up; he couldn’t help his surprise. That was the most enthusiastic reaction he had gotten out of her all day. Even though she cut it short, it was endearing. Maybe she was pressured too to be the pinnacle of titles given.

As Arthur escorted Lady Kate to the library his hopes were soon dashed as conversation fizzled out once again.

***
After Merlin’s rounds finished, he was feeling accomplished more than he had in the past weeks. Now he could do as he pleased, there was no amor to polish if you don’t have hands. Merlin eagerly flapped his wings to get out of the castle as fast as possible. It wasn’t the same flying inside, the walls felt as if there closing in and pulled at his throat and chest.

The magic that lingers on the wind follows him. Did other birds see this or was it just him? Merlin wonders, it’s not like he has tried to talk to other birds. However, he could see the magic. It wasn’t prominent like it was in the sun shining brilliant gold, it shimmers more like morning dew that hung in the air. Even inside he basked in the spirit of the sky.

reaching the end of the corridor he was going too high at a speed to slow down properly. He braced for impact. “Merlin slow down would you!” Shouted George holding the heavy door open to the outside. ‘Never’ he shouted back with one shrill just to annoy the servant.

The sun painted stars in his vision, the gold monetary blinding him. Merlin blinked the stars away, as he started his wobbly ascent into the blue. Flying indoors is good practice but it is almost too controlled, no up draft that could make you go higher than you could ever imagine or drastic temperature changes that will make you shiver. Basking in the openness, gliding higher than the tallest turret, nothing could touch you.

The wisps of clouds try to pull him about, beckoning Merlin to follow the wind. The clouds were better at flying than he was and there was no way he would go near the mountain range without more practice. Navigating wouldn’t pose a problem for him like it did in the past, but the winds become fierce and unforgiving, even then Merlin had a feeling the sky would be less forgiving.

Flying around the ground of the castle has become his new favorite things. Everything from above is so different, it is hard to be worried the higher you flew. Up here Merlin could think easily about the future. The golden age seems more possible, more tangible, it was like he was in a dream that one day will come true.

The scent of roses filled the air as Merlin slowly made his way towards the royal garden. It was easily one of his favorite areas to fly over. The vibrant colors mixing together and the smell of spring in full bloom has been a privilege to see up so high. A figure sat in the middle of the garden alone hunched over. The blonde hair gentle sway in the wind and his armor glinting, Merlin made his decent.

The first time Merlin came across Arthur in the garden he teased the prat telling him that he was surprised that Arthur knew what a flower was. He has been coming here more often. This could only mean two things he had to escort lady Kate around Camelot and came here after the tour to keep on Uther’s good side or that the prince was hiding. Both seem likely.

Merlin made his present known to the prince so as not to sneak up on him. Authur looked up at him and the frown that was chiseled on his face melted away. This made the likely hood of both scenarios go up. With a thump Merlin landed missing the stone bench and hitting the ground and the prince busted out laughing.

“Looks like someone needs target practice.” Merlin hops on the bench that the prat was sitting on and pecks at his knuckles.

“Ouch! really Merlin I was just making an observation.” The prince grumbled.

Merlin snickered at Arthur’s protest.

“it’s not funny.”

They sat there for a while together. This is what annoyed Merlin the most. That he was unable to speak at all to the man in front of him. Yes, he would get chided on how much he was ‘blabbering’, but something told Merlin that Arthur needs him to talk about everything and nothing because of his dismal social skills. The prince had to learn there was more to communicating than speeches and counsel talk.

Merlin looked at Arthur and cocked his head to the side. The prince’s face had hardened back into a frown, deep in thought. He sighs and looks straight back at Merlin.

“She as interesting to talk to as dried toast.” Arthur said in a defeated tone.

Merlin let out a cackle at his remark about the lady. Usually, Merlin did most of the talking but considering the circumstances Arthur has become the one who did the talking for the two of them. With every conversation he has gotten better.

“No, really! She seems so indifferent to everything I say.” Arthur said with exasperation and pinching the bridge of his brow.
‘Well, you are not exactly a good conversationalist’ Merlin jibe back.

“I don’t know what you’re saying but shut up.” Arthur spoke with all seriousness then broke out into a small smile.

The golden air that lingered on the wind, it hung low just like the sweet-smelling flowers. Seeing Arthur in the full sun light Merlin couldn’t ignore the color of magic and the prince’s hair being the same color. It was an enchanting sight as much as it was bone chilling. Born from magic, it would make sense that the magic used to bring Arthur to life would have some physical effect on him. It was so subtle that human eyes couldn’t see it but now it was plain to see. Magic lived in the prince of Camelot just as much magic lived in Merlin. Even if the magic was just his life source and Arthur would never be able to cast a single spell there was no denying that now.

There is no doubt in Merlin’s mind that Arthur will be the finest king Albon will ever know. His other half, Two sides of the same coin. How could he ever be content with just being a friend?

Merlin can’t exactly trace it back to when he first started to fall in love with Arthur, it just sort of happened. It was a gradual thing that snuck up on him and when he realized what was happening it was too late. Arthur overtook Merlin’s heart against his will and better judgment. It is his destiny to serve Arthur, nothing could ever happen. If Arthur ever found out about the love he has for him, Arthur would most likely push him away until there strangers once more and that would be too painful so Merlin will show his love from a distance in little words of encouragement and little looks that last too long.
“Unfortunately, it’s time to get ready for the feast and I expect you to be there. I would have better conversations with you than her. Merlin squawked in laughter and with that the crowned prince got up from the bench and made his way to his chambers to get ready.

***
This was Merlin’s first feast since he was transformed, and he was more than a little on edge. How couldn’t he be? Something always happened during feast daggers, poison, ghosts, something always happened. Just because he was a bird now doesn’t mean he will do anything to protect him.
Merlin was high up on the ceiling beams looking down at everyone as they splashed drink and laughed as the night went on. The only one that looked like they didn’t want to be there was the prince himself. Arthur was still as stone with a permanent frown. We were waiting for the same thing.
The Lady herself seems to be struggling to make small talk at Arthur growing silents. It’s strange really usually the Lady who visited would go at length to impress the prince to become a future queen. But this one. She seemed so shy she could hardly string together a sentence which means either Arthur is right and she just as uninteresting as plain toast or she was up to something. Merlin was more inclined to believe the second option.
Merlin flies to a closer beam to Arthur. The clicking of silverware on glass caught everyone’s attention and the great hall quieted down.
“Arthur, Crowned Prince of Camelot come stand to welcome our guests.” Uther booming voice overtook the hall and slowly with all the command of crowned prince Arthur made his way to the king at the back of the room were Uther overlooked everyone. Arthur stop a few feet in front of the king and turned to face the lords and ladies of the great hall.

“Camelot gladly welcomes Lord Darin and Lady Kate we hope your travels were pleasant. We look forward to having you here. I hope that Prince Arthur has shown Lady Kate the best of Camelot. We hope you enjoy your stay here.” Uther spoke with a pleasant tone that he only uses to make deals. That deal was Arthur life.

The scraping of wood against stone made everyone’s head turn to the offending sound. Lady Kate stood up. “Uther of Camelot you are no king you have wrong us for the last time!” Her voice shrill and panicky. From her robe she produced a dagger and threw it straight at Arthur.

“NO” Merlin screeched

“Guards!” Uther yelled.

Merlin dived from his perched, wings tucked. He only opened his wings at the last moment with a hard landing Merlin pinned the dagger to the floor.
The assassins tried to run but the knights blocked the only door, ensuring they didn’t escape. The knights grab both Lady Kate and Lord Darin dragging them to the dungeon. As the lady Yelled demanding justice. The great hall kept quiet as if any noise at all would cause another dagger to be thrown.
Merlin didn’t realize he was still pinning the dagger down by the hilt on the stone floor and that all eyes were on him, but he could only look at Arthur. He was just shaken although it was barely noticeable. Merlin was standing in the center of the mess caused by Lady Kate he stop another attempt of Arthur’s life but in front of everyone as a bird.

“You have saved my son once again.” Uther browed was furrowed unsure what to make of the whole thing.

Merlin stepped off the hilt of the dagger and faced Uther. “Gaius and Arthur have been telling me that your intelligence was unaffected by the curse, and it seems that they were correct in that matter. It looks like you can still be of use to the crown.” Uther then looked to the crowd of nobility “Since Merlin still has the intelligence of a man, he can serve the crown in a new way. He will now be a scouter for the Crown Prince and the knights when you go on missions.” The king proclaims.

Arthur tried to hold in a gasp Merlin the bird and Merlin the man was standing in front of him. his eyes wide with fear of the moment and his new position as part of the knights. In his blue eyes he saw the man before him. The bird still standing on the dagger and Merlin the man standing before him also on the dagger. Arthur’s heart quickens was the curse fading! It was like Arthur was seeing his friend’s ghost, but he wasn’t dead. It was seeing how the man was supposed to be, but the man wasn’t tangible Merlin the man shined with shimmering gold like an apparition. His closest friend’s face showed just as much confusion as the bird’s eyes. His face Arthur hadn’t seen Merlin’s face in so long. He had to lift his head slightly to meet the eyes of Merlin’s apparition. It felt as if Arther was breathing again. He looked around the great hall everyone was still stun “Merlin” Arthur whispered reaching out one hand to the transparent golden man. Why was no one reacting? When Arthur blinked Merlin the man was gone. Merlin the bird was only in front of him. Arthur stepped towards Merlin briefly thinking it might be a dream. Without thinking Arthur knelt down to his friend. The lords and ladies of the great hall gasped. That was when he realized for sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“Arther what are you doing!” Uther called out.

“Are you okay?” Arther asked softly.

Merlin was shaking but he looked just fine “Merlin chirped.”

Arther recognized the sound as a reassuring call. The spell that was momently cast between them was broken. Quickly before his King revoke Merlin’s new statis and send him to his chambers for his disrespect of the king he held out his arm for Merlin to step on. Merlin stepped up. Arther then grabbed the dagger off the floor and rose to his feet tucking the dagger in his belt. Arther didn’t intend to bow to the bird in front of the court but that is what it looked like, so he quickly redirected the attention of the onlookers.

With Merlin perched on his arm he lifted him higher. “Too Merlin the new scout of the royal knights!”

“Too Merlin” the crowd repeated back to him breaking out in applause “Merlin has shown bravery as man and falcon his actions has shown us that Merlin is dedicated to the wellbeing of Camelot herself. This is a great honor, from servant to scout Merlin has proven to all of us that there is opportunity in Camelot for everyone that lives in this prosperous land!”

Just then all the servants in the great hall broke there silents with thunderous cheers, applause, hooting and hollering that was much louder than the lords and ladies did. It was unlike anything Arthur had ever seen. It was the servants’ jobs to not be seen, to disappear into the background of all events. Now he could see every servant’s face cheering for the new position Merlin held they were cheering for him. Every face was full of pride for the servant that was climbing in ranks.

Arthur turns to look at his king hoping to see his father. For a moment he was unsure what he saw in the king’s face. Then a wisp of a smile ghosted his father’s face. He held up a hand and the cheers quieted down.

“Everyone please there is still plenty of food to enjoy we should not let it go to waste let the feast continue.” Uther stated then motion Arthur to come over.
Merlin still perched on his forearm. Uther said in a quiet voice “We will talk about this more in the morning.” Arthur heart dropped. His speech did more than what he had hoped for. “Yes sire,” was all Arthur could conjure.

***

Arthur sighed; he hoped this wouldn’t become a normal occurrence. He was never one to go to the tavern if he doesn’t be careful, he’ll get Merlin’s reputation. Besides Going to a tavern in town to drink wasn’t a very princely thing to do. Nevertheless, he is surrounded by his knights trying to comprehend what just happened.

Arthur hated to say but the assassination attempts were a normal occurrence. If he turns to the tavern every time someone or something tries to kill him, he would be here every week and rivaling Gwaine’s alcoholism. It wasn’t the assassination attempts that convinced him to come here after the feast but Merlin’s apparition.

Did no one really see anything? even his knights did say anything about Merlin sudden ghostly human appearance. He was there clear as day and yet he made another mess that will need to be cleaned up in the morning. The king is going to want to know what happened to him there. Yet he had no explanation he was seeing the ghost of someone who was alive. If he told anybody It will sound like he’s gone mad. maybe he has.

Did Merlin see what was happening to him? did he have an outer body experience no Gaius said that only happen when someone is asleep or close to death Merlin wasn’t even injured but he saw two Merlin’s was he having an outer body experience no that didn’t make sense. He wasn’t close to death sure he was almost killed but that didn’t explain why Merlin’s soul was out of his body. He already has a headache he’ll think about this more in the morning. There is definitely going to be more reading in his future. What was happening to him?

The sounds of clicking glass and laughter progress into a rhythm that dissolves in the background. The liveliness of places like these was comforting; he got to see his people happy and the community that he didn’t get to see in the castle wall and council meetings. If The king knew he was going out with the knights to places like this he would certainly get reprimanded.

“Hey princess, how does it feel to be saved by a bird!” Gwaine taunts, trying to get a rise out of Arthur.

Even as a falcon Merlin’s foolish idiocy was nothing short of bravery. Stopping the dagger with his talons in midair. The memory of Merlin saving him for the first-time flash before his eyes. He almost met his end facing down a dagger then too. Then he was appointed his servant but now he proves to Uther that he is of use (very clever Merlin) Now he was appointed a scouting bird he could still keep Merlin close and keep an eye on him. It would be easier to find a way to change him back that way without causing suspicion on why he spends so much time with a ‘petty servant.’

“Uh princess?”

“He saved me just like the first time.” said Arthur too deep in thought not paying attention to the other men as they looked at each other with curious looks.

“First time?” Elyan asked.

“Well that is how Merlin got the position of Arthur’s servant in the first place.” Leon clarified.

“Wait Merlin saved your life and the way you repaid him is making him your servant!” Gwaine said incredulously.

“The king actually. Wait all of you didn’t know how Merlin became his servant,” Leon said baffled.

“Well, how did you know old wise one,” Gwaine shot back.

“I was there,” Leon smirked.

“Oh” was all Gwaine could manage.

“Well still he saved the prince’s life. why not make him a lord or a knight.”

“Because the new knight initiative didn’t pass until after he saved me,” Arthur said slowly. It was nothing short of a miracle that he convinced his father of trying the new initiative of letting other men not of noble blood to be knighted. Camelot is running out of sons of lords to enlist since they kept on getting killed. The image of Merlin in shining chainmail and a sword on his waist was almost enough to make Arthur choke on his drink. Merlin was a constant on their missions and strangely enough hasn’t gotten severely injured. He always made fun of him for staying out of the action. It made Arthur nervous thinking about Merlin fighting; he could just as easily be killed like any other knight, but he deserves so much more than just the title of scout.

“Once he's human again I’ll try to convince the king.”

Silents hung in the air for a moment at the prince’s decision. Merlin insists on going on mission anyways he should be trained so he doesn’t get killed. Arthur should have made that decision long ago but then he wouldn’t get to see him as often. Having Merlin be at his side all though out the day.
Lancelot gave the biggest smile, “Really?”

“He has the heart of a knight. He is one in everything but title.” Arthur looked down trying to hide his embarrassment that he put down his tanker of mead.
“Brilliant looks like someone have come to their senses.” Gwaine smirked.

The night went on, but Arthur couldn’t find himself to go back to the castle, If Uther found out that he went out for drinks right after an assassination attempt, it would be the end of him. Arthur doubted that sleep would even come to him, so what was the point? So, the drinks kept flowing one right after another. His Knights got rowdier, slamming their drinks on the table, and laughed way too loud. The conversation shifted as it often does when too many drinks are involved, and the night starts to turn into morning.

“Princess.” Gwaine voice called him from his dazed state.

“Yeah.” Arthur tried to ignore the stars forming in his eyes.

“I have a funny question.” Gwaine’s voice framed with a laugh that only spelled trouble.
“What?”

“Don’t you find it interesting that the witch knew your name and yet didn’t turn you into a dragon?”

Arthur really should not have taken a drink of his mead when Gwaine said that. Coughing half of it back up and the other half was in his lungs. The prince struggled to stop choking on the alcohol. Leon who was sitting right next to him started to smack his back a little harder than he should have for a person who is choking. When Arthur finally recovered from THAT he turns to Gwaine a shouted in his general direction.

“What the fuck Gwaine!”

“That would be the joke of the century since your father killed all the dragons.” Gwaine said with a snort, uncaring that he just unlock a whole new existential crisis for Arthur.

If it would have happened to him instead of Merlin, his father would have killed him. There would be no saving him from his father’s wrath. Uther would think the beast stole him, lost to the evils of magic forever. His stomach felt like it was climbing up his throat. Arthur pushed his mead away from him, he was going to be sick. His mind racing with Gwaine’s horrible question.

“But that Arthur’s last name, what about his first name?” Leon question.

The conversation went on while Arthur was left behind as his drunken mind spun into a million different directions. Gwaine could not just say something like that, just carry on the conversation on what he could theoretically turn into.

“Dose Merlin even have a last name?” Percival wonder aloud.

“I don’t think so,” Lancelot added helpfully.

“What about it?” call Gwaine from the other side of the table, eager to know.

“Well… The name Arthur translates to bear so would he just been turn into a bear?” Leon debated.

“Wait, wait, wait so the great Uther Pendragon killer of dragons King of Camelot named his son bear?” Gwaine let out of the most unhinged laughter Arthur ever had the displeasure of hearing.

What has his life turned into? He should have just gone home a long time ago and avoided this new mess. He would much rather face his father and tell him he went out drinking tonight than continue this conversation.

“Aww did your father call you little bear as a kid?” The knight mocked him.

“He does love honey cakes at an alarming amount.” Leon said with too much amusement.

“Personally, I think a curse of a dragon would be crueler than a bear.” Elyan offered.

“Personally, I don’t want to continue this conversation. Another word and you all will be mucking out the stalls!” Arthur retorted in pure anger.

All the knights protest with the consequence. Not wanting to push their luck they stop the debate on what animal he would turn into. There was only silents at the table. Nobody knows how to change the subject much less knows what to talk about. Arthur did not offer any other topics.

“Don’t poke the bear.” Gwaine drawled. “Or dragon.” He said a little quieter.
The knights snicker at Gwaine snide remarks.