Archive of Our Own ^beta

Felps is cold. 

He’s cold and his arm hurts. 

The first of these he can understand the reasoning behind—based on Cellbit’s ramblings and the fact he’s only wearing a hospital gown. But the pain in his arm is a question with no immediate answers. He tries to ignore it. 

He doesn’t feel like he’s been asleep for a month. It’s hard to trust Cellbit on that, especially when he remembers what Cellbit was like before he left. 

But then they finally get the door open, and he stumbles a little over the threshold. Into Cellbit’s arms. Cellbit holds him there for a second. Doesn’t try to stabilise him, just holds him. 

Cellbit’s warm.

And Felps is exhausted, suddenly. His arm hurts, and he feels drained, and he’s cold. He can’t do anything but sink into the embrace. Can’t even hug Cellbit back.

“I’m sorry.” Felps murmurs. 

Although he can’t quite pin down why. Just that he is.

“Me too.” 

Cellbit pulls away, and tugs him into motion. They end up in a room. Still trapped, but awaiting rescue. They sit, and talk, and Felps still isn’t sure he believes Cellbit even though it’s getting harder not to. He was right about Cucurucho, at least. As much as Felps wanted to believe he wasn’t. Because Cucurucho being nice like he pretended he was meant Felps might’ve been able to get another life for Richarlyson.

Instead, he got frozen for his efforts. For a month. Maybe longer, considering Cellbit isn’t sure how long he was out either. 

Felps sits, and waits, and he hopes Richas is still alive. 

Felps is cold. 

His arm still kind of hurts, but it’s more of a dull ache. He’s exhausted. 

So much has changed since he left—since he was taken. There are new people on the island. The Christ the Redeemer statue is finished. The Favela is more built up. Cellbit doesn’t live there anymore. The others don’t either. 

At least being lost isn’t exactly new to him. At least this time he’s not waking up to Cellbit worse than he’s been in a while—crying in his office, and hiding, and spewing paranoid bullshit—

—Well, he supposes it wasn’t really bullshit. 

And he supposes Cellbit is still paranoid. The way he’s practically plastered himself to Felps’ side proves that. But he’s lighter than he was before. Exhausted, and scared, but mostly happy, and relieved. 

Felps wishes he could share that. But he’s mostly just cold. 

Cellbit drags him into their first house. Richas’ bedroom is still behind the painting, Felps is sure, but he has a sneaking suspicion that Richas hasn’t used it in a while.

Felps almost wants to retreat back into his house. At least that one should be untouched. The same as he remembers it. 

But then there’ll be dust. 

He really can’t escape from the fact that the world has moved on without him. 

Cellbit sits him down on their first bed, and then disappears with assurances that he’ll be back soon. Richas is still with him, though. He sits next to him, and they press up against each other, and Felps tries to remember how to be warm. 

The bed is a decent size with just the two of them. But he remembers the first couple of nights when all five of them would squeeze into it together. It was cramped, and kind of uncomfortable. He misses it with an ache in his chest that he didn’t feel when they started building their own houses.

“I missed you, Pai.” Richas signs for maybe the third time since he got back. 

“I missed you, too.”

Although, it’s different. He wasn’t awake to miss Richas. But that hour or so when they were trying to escape and Cellbit couldn’t promise Richas’ safety counts a little. When they were talking about how long they’d been gone, and there was the dizzying possibility that maybe they’d missed Richas growing up. 

It wasn’t quite missing him. But it was an ache in his chest that was soothed by seeing him again, and Felps thinks that’s close enough. 

He presses a kiss to the top of Richarlyson’s head and pulls him closer. 

Cellbit comes back with pyjamas. He messes around with his comm while Felps changes. 

The fabric is cold against his skin, but it’s better than the hospital gown. 

“I’m still cold.” He complains. 

It startles a laugh out of Cellbit, and he puts away his comm. 

“Just wait, man.” 

The playful light in his eyes dies out a little as he looks up at Felps. 

Because Felps is shivering. Or maybe just trembling. Maybe the effort of moving around a body that hasn’t moved in a month is starting to hit him. His limbs feel heavy, and he’s cold, and he lets Cellbit drag him back into bed.

Maybe he’s all that and scared. 

He makes a noise of surprise when Cellbit settles into bed next to him—Richas tucked carefully between them. 

“Don’t you want to spend the night with your fiancé?”

“He understands.” 

“Okay.”

“I sent a message to Pac and Mike.” Cellbit’s smile is soft, but there’s something else to it. Regret, maybe. “Get the family back together, you know?”

“That sounds nice.”

Felps is cold. Despite the blankets around him, despite Richas’ warm body curled into his chest, and Cellbit’s hand warm in his. 

He’s also afraid that if he goes to sleep he’ll miss another month. 

As the exhaustion rolls over him, anxiety does as well. He squeezes Cellbit’s hand, and blinks himself out of the hazy half-doze he was starting to fall into. 

Richarlyson is asleep. Cellbit is not. 

“Are you going to stare at me all night?” Felps murmurs, trying not to wake up their son. 

“Maybe.” Cellbit admits. “What if I look away and Cucurucho takes you again?”

“What if I go to sleep and I miss another month?” Felps adds. 

Cellbit laughs quietly. 

“There’s something wrong with us.” 

“There’s always been something wrong with you.” Felps counters. 

“Hey, man, c’mon!” Cellbit protests lightheartedly. “After all I’ve done for you! My god.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Felps is laughing, too, a little. It’s an absurd situation. “I didn’t mean it.”

Well, he did. But he didn’t mean anything by it. Especially because lying here in bed too afraid to sleep, he gets it. It’s not rational. Neither of their fears are. If Cucurucho wants to take him again, he will. It’s not rational, but that doesn’t quell the fear curling through his stomach. 

“You need to sleep.” Cellbit says. Hypocrite that he is. 

“So do you. I bet you barely slept while I was gone.”

I’m worried about you, is what he doesn’t say. He’s been through this situation way too often to know it won’t help. 

“I—“

They’re distracted from the conversation as they hear the sound of Pac and Mike arguing in the distance. Cellbit makes a quiet noise of frustration and crawls gently out of bed. 

Felps doesn’t hear exactly what he says to them. But it’s something about Richas being asleep. As well as a few curse words. 

They quieten down, but the damage is already done. Richarlyson blinks his little eyes awake, and Felps’ heart aches all over again as for a moment Richas seems shocked to see him. 

“I’m here.” Felps whispers. 

Richarlyson hugs him tighter. 

“Hi guys.” Felps says nonchalantly when they walk through the door. “You woke up our son.”

“Idiots.” Cellbit mutters, as the two of them file in and murmur their hellos and apologies. 

After a lot of not-so-careful maneuvering Felps is surrounded by his family. Cellbit is warm where he’s plastered to Felps’ back. Richas is still curled into his chest, and Pac and Mike are on the other side of him. 

It’s a tangle of limbs—cramped, and uncomfortable. Felps wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. 

Pac, Mike, and Richas fall asleep quickly. Felps knows Cellbit is still awake. Early on in their tentative friendship Felps had learnt how to tell the difference. 

He knocks his head gently back into Cellbit’s, and Cellbit huffs. 

“Go to sleep.” Felps says. 

“You first.” 

“I’m not tired.”

“Yes you are.”

It’s getting harder to stay awake. He’s starting to get warm, he thinks. And he is tired. 

Anxiety curls in his chest. 

“Wake me up before you get up?”

“Yeah, of course.” Cellbit squeezes his hand. “If Pac and Mike don’t wake you up first.”

“True.” He says with a slight laugh. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” Cellbit repeats. 

Felps closes his eyes. And he feels restless—like he needs to move. But he doesn’t think he could even twitch a finger if he tried right now. 

Felps closes his eyes, and he focuses on the warmth of his family around him. It’s so different from the cold Federation office, and the coolness of the chair. 

Felps closes his eyes. And he falls asleep. 

He wakes up the next morning. In the same place he went to sleep. Cellbit’s the only one still in bed with him. One of Richarlyson’s signs is in his eyesight. 

Good morning, Pai! If you’re reading this: you only slept one night >:D

Maybe Richas was more awake last night than he thought. It is comforting, though. 

He sits up, and Cellbit startles awake. 

“You’re still here.” Cellbit breathes out disbelievingly. 

“And I didn’t fall into another coma.”

“Yeah.” Cellbit still has that tone of disbelief in his voice. 

They sit in silence. Any second now, Cellbit is going to fill him in on everything that he missed. It’ll be overwhelming and confusing, he’s sure. 

For now, though, he only throws out the occasional ominous phrase while they throw together breakfast. 

The sun is streaming through the windows, and Felps thinks he’s starting to feel warm.