Chapter Text
Kim Taehyung was born into a very religious and strict family. His father was especially strict with his children and expected them to obey his words.
But he was such a sweet and caring boy since he was little, so they had no problems with him.
His older brother Namjoon was a whole different story. He was two years older than Taehyung and was extremely smart for his age. He won so many prestigious awards and his parents were very proud of him.
They expected him to go to college and become a corporate worker. And maybe start his own business one day. Though he had never encouraged their ideals for his life, he never openly defied them either.
But when he turned 13 he met another young man in school who introduced him to music. His name was Min Yoongi and Joonie was wowed by his talent. He was a magnificent lyricist, rapper and musician. After that, he was just as hooked into that life.
He kept his new love for music and rapping well hidden from his parents and even his little brother. And did a good job of it for a couple of years.
Then slowly but surely, Namjoon started to bring his new life into his home life and he started to clash with his parents. When he brought his new best friend and collaborator Yoongi to meet his family, hoping that they would support his passion. It did not go well.
When they sat down for dinner, his father was cordial at first. Despite not approving of his dress style and his dyed hair. He didn't think Joonie should hang out with someone like him. Cause people would talk and get the wrong idea.
So during dinner, his father would ask Yoongi questions about his likes and interests. Which he would reply truthfully. He was proud of his accomplishments and explained that his son Joonie was very talented, and he could become an amazing entertainer one day.
"What do you mean entertainer? Our Joonie is going to find a job in the corporate world. And with God's leadership, he will guide him to open his own business and grow to be a top CEO."
Yoongi scoffed then remained quiet. Taehyung sat quietly next to his brother and saw the vein in his father's neck start to throb. So he knew that he was trying very hard to contain his anger.
Then Namjoon decided to speak up, having already discussed a plan with Yoongi in case it all goes to shit.
"Appa, I don't want to be a corporate worker, or anything like that. I have been working with Yoongi for years now. We have composed and produced our own music. And people really like it.. and ask for more.
We... we have had an offer to sign with a record company. And they will help us put our music out."
His father stood up and slammed his hands on the table.
"What?! What nonsense are you talking about? We never agreed for you to do anything of the sort!"
Then his mother spoke up, "Joonie, please think about what you're saying. The music business can be very shady and ruthless. Young boys like you are gobbled up like candy by those music type people."
"Eomma, I didn't come here to ask for permission. I am already 18 years old, and I am old enough to do it. Please trust me and know that we know what we're doing. If you and Appa would just listen to our music style, then you'll see how good we are.
We have already released demos and there were several offers for us to join them. We won't let anyone take advantage of us. We have done our homework on the contracts we're going to sign.
I just wanted to come let you know that I am signing up with them. And I would prefer to have your blessing.
But it won't stop me if you don't approve."
Their father then swiped his hands across the table. Knocking his plates and things against the wall.
"Namjoon-ah, I am only going to tell you this once. If you go against my wishes, then you pack your shit and get out of my house. I will not have one of my sons involved in the music industry. It is a haven for sinners!"
Taehyung yells out, "Appa no! Don't do this! Please, Joonie will do as you ask. He was just speaking out of turn. Weren't you Joonie?!" He asks pleadingly.
Joonie stood up, followed by Yoongi and turns to his brother. He hugs him and with tear filled eyes tells him, "I won't live in a house where I'm not free to live my life how I want. I would rather die penniless and in the gutter than live that way."
He then wipes Tae's tears away and adds, "When you grow up and get away to live your own life. Come find me. Until then, be good and stay strong. Your life is yours to live. Not for anyone else."
"I don't want you to go! I'll be all alone now." He cries out.
But Joonie just turns to his mother, who is silently crying. When she doesn't make a move towards him, he gives her a halfhearted smile and leans down to kiss her cheek.
He then tells Yoongi, "Let's go." And they walk out.
After that dinner, they were forbidden to speak Joonie's name ever again in his presence.
And their father became even more vigilant over Taehyung. He always had to know where he was and what he was doing. Who his friends were and if they were from good families. For two years he led a stifling life.
Then one day he complained to his mother about his father's rigid rules. And he asked if he could at least find a part time job somewhere.
She promised to talk to him, but told him to make sure it was a decent place and not a bar or club.
It took two months, but he finally gave in and approved of him working at a local large grocery store.
He started working there after school, and loved it. His friends Jimin and Hobi even started working there with him. They graduated high school and started working there full time during the summer.
And would go back to part-time when they started college in the fall. Which was part of the deal he made with his parents. To continue with schooling and find a good job.
He didn't mind, and figured it was his future. Just like most people, he would finish school, get a good job. Then meet someone, get married and live happily.
He had already gone on several dates with a couple of girls from school. And behaved like a perfect gentleman. But he knew it was because he didn't really feel a spark with any of the girls he dated. Not really thinking about it.
***********************
A couple of weeks into their summer, Tae, and his friends were busy stocking up the aisles. When they suddenly saw their manager walking towards them, followed by two young men behind him.
He couldn't really see their faces until they stood in front of him. "Guys, I want you all to meet our two new hires. They are here for the summer like you, and will start college as well." He then called them closer and Tae took a good look at them.
He saw one was taller, and maybe older than the other but he was extraordinarily handsome. He could stop traffic. He then heard his boss calling his name.
He had been staring at the young man, and didn't realize it.
"Taehyung-ah, did you hear me? This is Kim Seokjin and his cousin Jeon Jungkook. I'd like for you boys to teach them the ropes around here. Train them for a week or until you think they learn things.
Ok? I will be in my office in case you need anything. They have already signed their time cards and were told their schedule and lunch hours. I'll leave everything else to you boys."
He then turned to leave once Tae nodded at him.
As soon as he was gone, Hobi and Jimin started asking them all sorts of questions. Like where they were from, how old they were, and if they had girlfriends or boyfriends."
Jungkook answered most of the questions, since Seokjin kept glancing towards Tae.
"We're from Gwacheon, but we moved to Busan when we were kids. And we recently moved here to start college. Jin doesn't have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but I date lots of ladies. They love me. But can you blame them?"
Jimin and Hobi start laughing and they're soon getting along really good. So they tell Tae that they will train him, and he can train Jin. Which he agrees to.
He then smiles at Jin and tells him to follow him. He walks them towards the back where they have their own lockers. He tells him to pick one and he can keep his jacket or whatever in it while he works.
He then shows him the break room where they usually sit down to eat during their breaks. He then goes to another room and comes back to hand him a smock and a name tag.
He tells him to follow him and shows him how to set prices on the pricing gun, and how to stack them on the shelves. They were soon on a roll and had a groove going.
As they talked and got to know each other, Jin asked him, "Do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend?"
Tae answered pretty straight forward and said, "No, no girlfriend at the moment. And especially no boyfriend." He then starts to chuckle.
But Jin took offense to the way he replied.
"Why? Cause you haven't met the right guy? Or do you have something against gay people?"
Tae stopped what he was doing and saw he looked upset.
"I don't hate gay people, if that's what you mean. But I'm not gay. I like girls. I just haven't met the right one yet."
Jin stared at him, waiting for him to ask him. What everyone always asks once they suspect.
"I didn't mean to upset you. If you're... you know. That way. I personally don't think it's natural for two men to be together. But I don't get involved in other peoples beliefs. If you're... you know.. g-gay.. Then I won't hold it against you."
Jin laughs as he sees him stutter and struggle to look him in the eyes. He then walks over to him and says, "You know it's such a shame that you're not gay. Cause I find you very attractive. We could've been something great together."
"S-sorry, but I'm not."
Jin then pats his shoulder and says, "Ok, don't sweat it. Now, let's get back to work."
They continued working and talking about all sorts of things. Jin would tell him about all the parties and clubs he and Jungkook would go to. And all the fun they'd have.
"Wow, so you and your cousin seem pretty close. That must be nice." Tae tells him.
"Yeah, we're more like brothers than cousins. He always has my back whenever we come across any trouble. Ya know what I mean?"
Tae shakes his head, and with a confused face asks, "Like what kind of trouble?"
"You know, just like if I happen to be with a guy somewhere and we're holding hands or hugging or kissing. And some people can be assholes about it and try to start trouble with us. Always picking on us cause they think all gay guys are soft and can't fight back.
But I know how to take care of myself. And just in case it gets out of hand, Jungkook will jump in."
Tae then sees how Jin shivers as if he's remembering something bad. He feels bad for him and asks, "Does that sort of thing happen to you alot?"
Jin shrugs and says, "Eh, it goes with the territory I guess. But I won't hide who I am just because it makes people uncomfortable. Especially those religious nuts."
"What do you mean?"
"You know.. the ones who spout all sorts of shit from the Bible. And claim that their way is the only way to live. And if you don't, then you're automatically condemned to hell. Who gave them the authority to say only they are allowed in heaven? Huh?
And what sort of God would go about creating us this way, only to specifically single us out as sinners? We are as he made us.. we didn't choose this. We were born this way. So where is their logic in that?"
Tae then remained quiet as he thought about what he said. He has never had anyone try to tell him differently than what his parents always drill into his head. He then thought about his brother and how his father says his soul is already tagged for hell once he's dead.
"Hey, are you ok?" Jin asked after seeing Tae stay quiet.
He then shakes it off and says, "Yeah, I'm fine."
They continue until lunch when they meet the others in the break room. Jimin then tells Tae, "Jungkook was telling us about a club they're going to tonight. Me and Hobi are joining him. Do you want to go with us?"
Tae then looks at all of them, who are looking back at him expectantly and says, "I don't know. You know how my parents are about going out."
Hobi then says, "But you are almost 20 years old. You could get your own place if you want and not have to follow their rules."
Jungkook glances at Jin and gives him a knowing look. But Jin shakes his head and starts to eat his food.
"Just try it one night and if you don't like it, you can go." Jimin tells him.
Tae then thinks about his father and decides against it. Even though he is an adult, he doesn't have much knowledge of how the world really works and wouldn't know how to survive on his own. And he's too scared to try anything.
"No thanks, you guys go ahead and tell me all about it."
Jimin and Hobi frown, but they had expected as much.
So that night they went out to a club with Jin and Jungkook. And they had a blast.
If Jungkook thought he was the only chick magnet, then he hasn't seen how they flock to Jimin and his perfect ass.
They all wanted to dance with him and Hobi once they saw their dance moves. And were on the dance floor all night.
Jungkook also scored for the night. And though Jin did dance with several guys throughout the night, he went home alone. Unable to stop thinking about his new coworker. He doesn't understand why he feels like he could be the great love of his life. When it's so obvious he's in deep denial and probably has self hatred.
The next day at work, they were all hanging out in the break room and talking about the fun they had, and people they met to Taehyung. And he listened intently.
He was wondering deep inside if Jin had gotten lucky with someone, not that it mattered. He was just curious. He did listen to them say how Jin danced alot with several different people, but went home alone.
As Tae appeared to sigh in relief, Jin couldn't help but notice him. And he smiled at the thought that he was worried about it.
As they worked throughout the day, Jin would take every chance he could to touch him or get as close as possible to him. And checked his reactions to him.
And just as he hoped, he would blush or unconsciously get closer to him as well. Which made him very happy.
Over the first month, they started to get friendlier and closer. Not realizing that others took notice of their undeniable attraction towards each other.
They would also continue with their outings to the clubs and parties they'd be invited to. And after a while, Tae started to go along with them. He would tell his parents that the store was doing late inventories so they'd agree.
The first couple of times he went with them to a club, he would only sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else have fun. And especially watch Jin as he danced with others. He didn't understand why he hated seeing him with anyone else. Still in denial about his growing love for him.
Then after a while, when they were at a club again he saw as Jin was about to get approached by a guy to ask him to dance, and without thinking he rushed over to him and grabbed his hands. He then led him towards the dance floor. Jin smiled the entire time, glad he took the initiative.
The song that was playing was a fast one, so Tae felt more at ease in dancing with him. He learned most of his dance moves from Jimin and Hobi. Even slow dancing.
But Jin was worried how he'll react when a slow song starts to play. So when that very thing happened right after, he half expected to walk back to his seat again.
But instead, Tae held him close and wrapped one arm around his waist, and he held Jin's hand with the other.
They moved along slowly, and Tae couldn't help how his heart was beating so fast. Nor could he control the urge to feel Jin closer to his body.
As they swayed to the music, they kept their eyes on each other. And soon their heads were pressed against each other. Jin closed his eyes as he enjoyed the moment.
Tae had doubts about what he was feeling, but now as he actually held Jin in his arms. He knew that he was very attracted to him and wanted to kiss him.
"What are you doing to me Kim Seokjin?" He whispered.
Jin opened his eyes and saw his face. He could tell he was struggling with his faith and what he felt in his heart. But he wasn't willing to let his faith win so easily.
He then cupped Tae's face in his hands and moved in to kiss his lips. Tae closed his eyes as soon as he felt those pillowy lips against his own. He thought he would feel regret or get struck by lightning, as a warning from the Lord that would tell him what he was doing was wrong. But everything felt so right.
His arms went around Jins waist tighter and their lips moved in sync. He wanted to cry by how amazing it felt. As their kissing became more heated, they suddenly felt their need against each other and that shocked Tae back to reality. He had never felt another mans member against his.
He then moved away from Jin in shock and without saying another word, he ran out of the club. Leaving poor Jin all alone on the dance floor. Heartbroken.
Tae drove himself home and was thankful that his parents were already asleep. He went to his room and quickly took a shower and dressed in his pj's and fell into bed. He stayed up for hours as he thought about Jin.
So many conflicting thoughts crossed his mind. Why would God make it that you would be attracted to the opposite sex like that? Why did it feel so right if it's supposedly wrong?
Could everything he's been taught to believe in be wrong? He always thought his parents were smart and knew what they were talking about. But is it possible that they are just sheep? And are following what other people have told them to believe in?
He falls asleep with so many doubts and questions in his head.
The next morning he walks into the kitchen to grab something to eat before going to work and sees his mother by the stove.
When she sees him she smiles and hands him a plate full of food, and he sits down to eat. She then joins him as she drinks a cup of coffee.
"What time did you get home last night sweetheart? Your father and I fell asleep at 10:30 and you still weren't home. I was starting to get very worried about you."
"I got home around 11:30 I think. We were done with inventory around 10:30 but our boss decided to order a late dinner for everyone, so that's why I was late."
She tsk'd and tells him, "Well I hope he doesn't try to make it a habit of asking his workers to stay so late. I don't like you being out so late at night. That's when all the looney's are out."
Tae laughs and says, "I think it'll be once a month. But I will try not to stay so late anymore."
"Oh, well.. I guess that's to be understood I suppose. I'm sure your father will understand."
Tae nods as he finishes his food and then kisses her goodbye. On the drive to work, all he kept thinking about was how he will act around Jin. He likes him, he's so sure of that now. But they can never be anything romantic. They're both men.. and his parents will never approve.
When he arrives at work, he is by his locker as he puts his smock on. He then sees Jin and Jungkook walk in suddenly and go towards their own lockers.
Jungkook barely acknowledges him before rushing out. Jin appears to be trying to get out of there just as quickly but he is having trouble opening his combination lock. Tae can see him looking at him from his peripheral vision and he looks frustrated.
So he nervously walks towards him to try to help him. But Jimin walks in from the opposite side and asks him if he could help. Jin thanks him and allows him to help.
Tae then turns and walks out, while Jin sighs in relief. Once Jimin opens it for him, he tells him he'll be heading out. And Jin soon follows behind.
He gets his work sheet and starts doing his job. Only bumping into Tae occasionally when they cross paths in the back area as they bring pallets out to stock.
Jin has done a good job of ignoring him and then joins his cousin and Hobi during lunch. Jimin decides to join Tae after seeing the awkwardness between him and Jin all day.
"So, I saw you and Jin getting all cozy last night. And then saw you running away from him. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Tae looks away, and tells him, "I just made a mistake. That's all. I guess he's upset about it."
"Oh yeah? Is that what you're calling it? Cause I saw his face after you ran Tae. He looked devastated and so lost as he watched you run.
I know you like him Tae, and you are maybe feeling conflicted. Because you're parents are.. you know."
"I can't like a man Jimin. It's a sin."
"So you're saying that I'm a sinner because I occasionally go out with guys? I am going straight to hell like your parents say people like me go?"
Tae shook his head and said, "No, I think you're too nice to deserve a spot in hell."
"Jin is a nice guy too Tae. He can't help that he likes men. God made him that way. The same God you and your parents pray to. So I don't understand why it's so wrong.
Your parents already lost one son, because of their stupid beliefs. And you lost your only brother. Has that made any of you happy?
Living like that? Just work, come home and sleep. No real life outside of that life. Have you ever seen your parents happy? Huh? Laughing and joking with each other? Or telling each other they love each other?"
Tae lets a tear fall as he thinks about his miserable home life. So dull and strict with so many rules.
"No, I don't think I've ever seen them smile or look happy."
"Look Tae, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. But I just want you to know that, your life is yours to live. Not to make anyone else happy. Just you.
I think if you let him into your heart, you could actually be happy. And if your parents don't approve, just remember that you can always move out on your own. I will always be there to support you. Ok."
"What if I fucked up? And he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?"
Jimin smiles and says, "I have seen him look your way at least 20 times since we've been here. All you have to do is apologize for being an idiot."
Tae smiles and stands up. He then walks towards where Jin was sitting with the others and asks to speak to him.
Jin looks at Jungkook, and he gives him a quick nod. So he stands up and follows Tae outside so they could talk.