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Inexplicably Great Fics, LanceOfLore's Fav Fics, Nia’s Fav Fics
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Published:
2023-08-07
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2,106
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1/1
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Forever The Name On My Lips

Summary:

It’s a stupid idea. Ochako really, really shouldn’t be contemplating allowing Toga into her dorm room and yet… she’s never wanted to do something more.

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Two teenage girls on opposite sides of a war spend a night together pretending like they won’t meet each other on a battlefield again one day. They find comfort in each other’s arms, just for a single night.

Notes:

**No manga spoilers in the oneshot, but I’m going to imply manga spoilers in the notes**

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I tagged ambiguous ending because… it is lol, but I had the canon universe and chapter 395 in mind while writing this so… yeah. Togachako just make me sad :((

Work Text:

The night Izuku comes back, Ochako cries. 

Her tears are a mixture of sorrow, anger, joy, and pride. She’s so unbelievably emotional at his return, she doesn’t quite know how to regulate herself. The hours spent in Recovery Girl’s office, waiting for her to give her consent to return with Izuku back to the dorms had been hard. Watching her friend - once happy, cheerful, and so full of life, return home a shell of who he once was had been even harder. Still, Ochako had put a smile on her face, because Izuku did some unbelievable things, and he deserved to have someone show him how proud they were of him because of it.

Ochako’s not around Izuku now, nor is she around anyone else. Her dorm room feels empty, the things scattered around her room are nothing more than a mere memory of what her life was like before she fought in a war. Before she saw people, both young and old, die in front of her eyes. Ochako’s seen grief more than most people ever will, and it’s haunting.

She stares at the open fashion magazine on her bed like it’s a ghost. And maybe, in a way, it is. She’ll never be that girl again - the one who sat on her bed reading late into the night without a worry in the world. The girl who smiled, and laughed, and worried over tests.

Worrying over a test seems so insignificant now. 

The anger is unexpected, but it rushes over her like a tide.

She rips the magazine apart, and then she throws it across her room, a sob ripping its way out of her throat. Her hands tremble as she moves on to another magazine, and then before she knows it, she’s knocking her lamp down as she hurls the suitcase with her hero costume in it across the room with her chest heaving, the sound of glass shattering echoing in her ears.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

She blinks, gaping at the mess she’s managed to create, before swivelling around to her window, where the knocking sound is undoubtedly coming from.

She’s not sure what she was expecting, but it definitely was not her.

She freezes, stiffening up at the sight of a wide-eyed Toga Himiko sitting on the ledge of the window,  her face pressed up against the glass.

“ How?!” Ochako cries out in shock. This shouldn’t be possible, UA’s supposed to be safe.

Tentatively, Toga shrugs, gives her a little wave and a grin, holding something up in her other hand. Ochako narrows her eyes at it. 

It’s a bag filled with bottles of alcohol. A lot of it. So much, in fact, that it’s probably impossible to drink it all and not die.

‘Why do you even have that?’ Ochako thinks, confused, curiosity replacing the anger in her that burns and burns. ‘Why are you here?’

“Screw it,” she mutters under her breath, and then she inches towards her window. She’s close enough now that Toga has to tilt her head up to meet her eyes, and there’s a silent question in them: ‘ are you going to let me in?’

The thing is, Ochako doesn’t know. It’s a stupid idea, and she really, really shouldn’t be contemplating allowing Toga into her dorm room - further into UA, and yet… she’s never wanted to do anything more. Despite the fact that less than a couple of weeks ago, Ochako had fought her. Despite the fact that she’s a hero and Toga is a villain, despite the fact that Toga might actually murder her, the temptation is there and oh, it is so very strong.

She cracks her window open just a tiny bit - enough to hear Toga speak.

“Hi, Ochako!” She says, and Ochako instantly knows that something is off. Her voice is loud, but it still sounds… quieter than it normally is. More subdued. It’s then that the realisation hits Ochako that Toga really isn’t that much older than her at all - she’s still a kid, just like she is. One who also just fought in a war. One who wasn’t lucky enough to get her friend back. “It’s cold out here, did you know that?”

Ochako makes a split decision - the dumbest one she’s made so far in her entire life.

She lets her in.

“Wow,” Toga grins, ignoring the mess that Ochako created - the one she probably watched her create, skipping across her room to jump on her bed. Ochako blinks rapidly at her, still standing by her opened window. “I thought your room would be pink! I like pink, but this is cute too!”

Ochako will never fully get Toga’s obsession with all things she deems cute. It doesn’t bother her anymore though, not one bit. Except-

“…Right,” Ochako doesn’t really know what to do now that she’s actually in her room. Forget being expelled from UA, if she’s caught with her she’ll be arrested for harbouring a villain.

Whoops. That maybe should’ve crossed her mind a little sooner.

“Your lamp was cute too before you broke it,” Toga adds on, sighing as she sits up. She pats the mattress beside her, motioning for Ochako to come and sit too. Ochako isn’t sure why she listens, but she does, and now she’s sitting so close to her that their shoulders touch. “ Ahhh , your dorm really is as pretty as you. I kinda miss going to school. Do you ever wonder if we’re classmates in an alternate universe?”

Ochako stiffens even more. “I- what are you doing here?”

Toga rummages through the bag she brought, pulling out a bottle. Ochako recognises the brand of Vodka she has from the one time she visited Yaomomo at her house - it’s expensive. More than her own family could afford. Toga must’ve stolen it from somewhere, then.

That doesn’t bother her as much as it should. Ochako is much too drained to be bothered about trivial things like that, though, and she takes a swig from the bottle after Toga when she offers it to her. Maybe it’ll help her loosen up, or forget about everything for just one night. ‘An indirect kiss,’ she can’t help but think, even as she winces from the taste. She’s not a huge fan of alcohol. She’s tried it only twice, both times with her parents during a holiday.

“I was lonely,” Toga admits, the grin falling off of her face so fast it nearly gives Ochako whiplash. “Things are… different without Jin. And without Shigaraki and Mr Compress.”

“Without Shigaraki ?” Ochako echoes in confusion, and just a little bit panicky as well. If Shigaraki isn’t with the League, then where is he ? Toga is shockingly quick to explain, although she doesn’t explain it very well. Ochako shouldn’t have expected her to. They're fighting on opposite sides of a war, after all.

That makes her stomach clench painfully.

“He’s different now,” she says, a tinge of sadness audible in her voice, taking another swig straight from the bottle. Ochako has a feeling that the two of them are not going to be sober for very long, with the way they’re going at it. “Definitely not in a cute way, either. Spinner’s really upset about it. Touya…Touya’s complicated right now. I don’t know if Compress even knows about Jin. It’s sad. Not cute at all. Not happy, either. I hate it.”

Ochako sucks in a breath at the mention of Todoroki’s older brother. Todoroki has been strange too, ever since Dabi’s reveal - not that she blames him for it. Sometimes, he’s quieter than he’s ever been before, walking around the dorms like he doesn’t know where he is. Other times, he acts so starkly different - louder, more lively , that it’s obvious that he’s forcing himself to be okay and better, and it concerns her. Briefly, she wonders if his older brother has been acting the same way too, flip-flopping between emotions so fast that nobody ever has a chance of properly reading them.

It takes a while for Ochako to find the right words again. For the next few minutes, she and Toga take turns grabbing drinks from the bag, taking swigs and sharing it between each other. Ochako’s beginning to feel lighter - more fuzzy, and Toga’s developed a bit of a flush to her cheeks.

“Yeah,” Ochako whispers, her voice warbling as tears well in her eyes again. Oh no, she’s going to cry again. “Things aren’t very cute here right now, either.”

And then, quietly, drunkenly, she says it. The thing that’s been tearing at her heart ever since they participated in the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front. “I wish we never- never fought that day. I wish we spent the day in school, learning math and science and- and not fighting against you and the League and pulling bodies out of collapsed buildings . I -“

Toga gently cups her face, and Ochako finds herself lifting her hand to cup her’s, too. Her skin is as soft as silk, and little freckles dot her cheeks, her nose, her hand. She hadn’t known Toga had them before today, but she finds it strangely endearing.

She finds Toga endearing.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Ochako breathes, staring into bright yellow eyes. They’re so full of life. “What if they make me hurt you? What if- what if one day, I have to hurt you? Or another member of the League?”

Toga smiles at her, resting her forehead against Ochako’s. Their breaths mingle together, and Ochako trembles in her hold. “Another day,” she whispers into her ear. “We’ll both have to hurt each other, Ochako.”

“Toga -“

Gently, she presses a finger to her lips, shushing her. “But that’s another day. Call me Himiko. Be my friend for tonight, and I’ll be yours.”

Ochako closes her eyes, exhaling shakily. “ Okay ,” she whispers, because right now, she’s so lonely, and Himiko is too. She understands her in a way no one else can. Both of them have watched their friends change despite their support, their love, both of them have been powerless to stop it. “I’m yours tonight, Himiko.”

And she means it.

Himiko wraps an arm around her waist, and surges forward to catch her lips in a kiss. For a moment, Ochako thinks about pushing her away because in no world is this right. A hero and a villain, tangled in each other’s arms.

But they’re not a hero and a villain. Not tonight. They’re just Ochako and Himiko - two young girls with so much love in their hearts it physically hurts. Ochako manoeuvres herself into Himiko’s lap, her hands moving upward to card through her hair, done up in its usual messy space buns but rapidly beginning to come undone, and she tugs as she deepens the kiss . Himiko makes a strangled, pleasant noise muffled by her lips, her own hands making their way up into Ochako’s hair. The kiss isn’t gentle like their words, or the tender way they looked into each other’s eyes moments before. It’s rough. It’s desperate. They kiss like it’s the only thing keeping them sane. Maybe it is . Ochako doesn’t know - she probably never will . All she knows right now is that Himiko’s body is so warm pressed against her’s, and that her lips are pillowy against her own and her tongue, oh - Ochako’s brain short circuits when it enters her mouth. Himiko tastes like forbidden fruit.

“I want to pretend like I’m normal, Ochako,” Himiko gasps out, breaking the kiss. Ochako pants, staring down at her face. ‘Beautiful’ , she thinks. She wants to memorise every freckle, every scar, every little feature she has. She wants to drag her hands down her body and trace every curve she has. Ochako wants, and she wants so badly . “Just for one night, I want to be a normal girl.”

Ochako’s breath hitches. Himiko understands, and she always has. “Me too,” she croaks, tears streaming down her face. Himiko wipes them away, her own eyes becoming watery. “Me too, Himiko- please.”

“Himiko,” she says over and over again in a mantra - like a prayer. “ Himiko, Himiko, Himiko -“

Their lips crash into one another’s yet again, as if being apart for any longer than they were would’ve physically hurt them. A shiver crawls up Ochako’s spine, and warmth pools in her stomach as her hands fist Himiko’s shirt.

Ochako wants to be devoured by her. Himiko seems to be pleased to do it.

The bag of alcohol is left away from them on the very end of her bed. They don’t need it. It quickly becomes forgotten.

They’re too drunk on each other to notice it.