Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As Azula watched the waves roil below the seawall, she felt someone touch her shoulder and looked up. 

“You’ve been out here for hours,” Katara said, her voice low. “Are you really going to sit vigil all night?”

Night?

I can’t tell…

Not waiting for her to respond, Katara continued. “I know you miss Yagoda, but she wouldn’t want you to freeze to death out here trying to honor some-”

“I’m not going to freeze to death.”

That was a lie - Azula knew she was cold. Even with her finely crafted parka on, the solstice chill bit into her in a way that no furs or close stitching could stop. Every winter she had spent in Agna Qel’a had been the same in that way, as Agni’s light left the sky and her chi dark.

You need to go inside.

Azula had no desire to go inside. She had no desire to do anything at all.

“Azula.” 

“I’m fine.”

With a huff, Katara turned and walked away, hard winter ice crunching beneath her mukluks. Azula looked back down at the black ocean.

You’re not fine. At all.

It was absurd, how she felt. She had been close to Yagoda, and her death was painful - but it should not inspire such bleak despair. Perhaps it was her weak inner flame-

But it felt like it was just her.

“Princess Azula.” A slight twinge of annoyance at the sound of Chief Arnook’s voice, a useless ripple on the surface of stagnant water. “Katara tells me you won’t come inside.”

“Mhm.”

I’m not a child anymore…

“I understand that you’re grieving,” Chief Arnook said gently, “and I was wondering if you would like to sit vigil in the oasis.”

Ah.

Of course Katara had gone to get the one person she knew she would listen to. And of course he had made the one suggestion that she would actually care about.

Reluctantly, Azula stood up and turned around, bowing appropriately. “If you would allow me to, then I would very much appreciate that.” Then she smiled slightly. “It is cold out here.”

“We know, Azula.” Rolling her eyes, Katara gestured behind her. “I can take you there, if you want.”

“Thank you.”

I know how to get there… she just wants to make sure I actually do.

And ask why I was sitting out here in the first place…

Sure enough, they had only been walking for a few minutes when Katara looked at her. “Were you really going to let yourself freeze to death out there, Azula?”

“I didn’t feel like moving.”

“Yagoda told me you don’t feel like doing anything these days,” Katara responded seriously. “It was in the last letter she sent to Aang and I. She was really worried.” After a moment’s pause, she stated the obvious. “We’re really worried, too. You aren’t taking care of yourself.”

I mean…

It was completely true - and it had been for months, at least. Maybe years now. And Azula didn’t even know -

You do know.

“There’s nothing for me,” she mumbled, quiet enough that Katara simply gave her a questioning look. “Not anymore.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Very funny.

Shaking her head, Katara sighed. “Losing an elder - someone who guided you, who you have a lot of respect for - is always painful. Even if you have a complicated relationship with them.”

Azula nodded along, unsure how to respond. She knew Katara fairly well - well enough to regret it - and she had an idea of what she was saying, but she wasn’t sure how it related to her current situation. Her uncle wasn’t the only one who sometimes gave irrelevant advice.

Neither of them said anything else after that. All of Agna Qel’a was quiet - the only sounds were their footsteps and the distant thunder of the sea. Quiet and dark, like her own thoughts.

“Here.” As Katara opened the small wooden door that led into the oasis, Azula felt her eyes rake over her again. “I asked Chief Arnook, and he said you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want,” she said, then paused. “He really trusts you, Azula. You do know that, right?”

“Yes.”

That should have made her feel better. It had, when she first realized it. But now it just felt as meaningless as everything else.

“If you say so,” Katara replied, stepping in after her. “Here.”

Everything in the spirit oasis was just as Azula remembered it - warm air, soft green grass, and the glassy pool where Yue and La swam around each other in their eternal dance. A peaceful place, perfect for her to sit vigil for the woman who had tried to help her recover from her own life.

And she didn’t even succeed.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Then Katara was gone again, shutting the door behind her with a quiet thump. Azula stretched and yawned, breathing in the humid air as she drew closer to the heart of the oasis.

Every time I come here, I forget how nice it feels…

It’s a much better place to sit, Chief Arnook was right about that.

So she sat in seiza and waited, looking at the center of the spirit pool. She had learned a long time ago that it was impossible not to watch Yue and La circling - the motion drew her eyes back again and again. Whether it was their nature as spirits, or hypnosis, or a combination of both, Azula had never been sure.

Whatever it was, it was effective. 

It’s…

Hmm… 

Her eyes slowly fluttered open.

I fell asleep-

There was something in the oasis with her. At first glance it had looked like a man, but now that she was awake, Azula could see it was anything but. It wore armor of shimmering, dark purple chitin, and where its face should have been the armor blended seamlessly with the mouth and beady eyes of a crab. Or perhaps it was a crab, and the armor was an extension of-

“Your fire is gone,” the thing - it must be a spirit, right? It looks like it came out of the pool, it’s dripping wet - observed casually. “Interesting.”

A flash of ire rose within her - not a healthy motivation by any means, but it was a spark. “Interesting?”

“Very much so.” If the crab spirit sensed her sudden frustration, it did not show. “I can see your whole history in your eyes. Interesting is not sufficient to describe it.”

Then it was silent, still staring at her - into her - with its unsettling eyes. Azula didn’t want to keep looking at them, but something about its gaze left her motionless, helpless, frozen. A horrible feeling-

“What are you?”

“An observer,” the spirit replied. “And you are very worth observing.”

Why?

“Yes, I’m clearly very worth observing,” Azula said coldly, breaking free of the paralysis for a few moments. “Everything I’ve ever done was either for the worse, or for nothing at all! And now there’s nothing left for me, except sitting in this city with no flame and no idea what to do.” The two things were related, of course - she knew that, she just had no clue what to do about it. “I’m worth observing in the same way that a tragedy is.”

And now even a spirit has come to mock me about it?

Her outburst spent, Azula slouched a little, her back aching from all the time she had spent in seiza. Even with a spirit pinning her to the ground with its mere presence, all she felt was-

“I see.”

It said nothing more - it didn’t even move, other than subtly twitching its antennae and limbs. It just kept watching her.

You see what?

Is that the only reason you-

“You lack purpose. You are trapped within the stilled space of yourself, and the faded nightmares of your own past.” Now the thing just sounded like Yagoda, only much more eerie. “Perhaps you would like an opportunity to reinvent yourself.”

Of all the things Azula had expected, a spirit deal was not one of them. Even though she could hide the surprise on her face, she was absolutely certain that the entity could sense it - and that did nothing to ease her mind.

It’s trying to get me to do something…

“An opportunity.”

“Yes.” After a moment more of scrutiny, the crab-faced spirit continued, “An opportunity that will try you, and allow you to determine what you truly want.”

Surprisingly, that sort of made sense. “Any opportunity is a test.”

“So you understand,” the spirit agreed, clicking its claw-hands - Azula could finally detect something in its voice, a little satisfaction. “I expected you would.”

Azula did not understand. At least not completely - she understood what she was being offered, but the wording left a lot of room for interpretation. In every spirit tale she had ever heard, that was a very bad thing.

It was a puzzle she had to figure out. A test in itself. 

Interesting. 

Azula thought for a moment. “So… you are giving me an opportunity.”

“Yes.”

“And what do you get out of this?” Azula asked, trying and failing to discern any kind of motivation from the crab spirit’s face. “What do you want from me?”

“Nothing more than your participation.”

That’s… very vague. Though what else was I expecting?

Well…

“You’re offering me some kind of trial. An opportunity, as you put it.” Repeating the spirit’s offer back to it, Azula watched. “With no strings attached.” No response. “What does that trial involve?”

Even though the spirit’s expression didn’t change, Azula could swear it looked more smug. “That is something you must experience without knowing beforehand.”

Of course. How incredibly suspicious.

It was a terrible idea. Accepting an offer from an unknown spirit was the kind of thing that Zuko would do - impulsive, rash. 

But there was nothing else.

“I accept.”

Azula vanished without a trace.

Chapter Text

The first thing Azula saw when she awakened was a wooden sign that said “Tusona.”

Tusona?

Blinking a few specks of sticky sanguine red away from her eyelids, she took a second look. It was indeed a Fire Nation waysign.

So I’m on… Mirta Island?

How-

Then it came back to her. A conversation in the oasis of Yue and La, between her and a spirit with the face of a crab. An offer and a desperate gamble to escape-

“Well… here we are.”

Azula took a degree or two to assess her situation. She knew where she was, and she knew - as much as she could - what had happened to her. Nothing felt out of the ordinary when she moved, and her mind seemed as intact as it had been. No missing memories, no immediately obvious curses. Even her inner flame was just as subdued and smothered as it had been.

Hm…

Something was suspicious about the road she was standing next to, though. It was in very poor condition - a perennial problem in the outlying Fire Nation, but one that should have been fixed by her father. 

This isn’t right at all.  

The obvious option was to walk to Tusona and find out exactly what was wrong. She would be able to ask around for more information, something that could help her quell her unease and plan a path forward. And when her only other option was to sit in the forest, it was a fairly easy choice.

Unfortunately, Azula had to intentionally mess up her hair to make herself look like an unkempt wanderer, which was extremely undignified. She also had to leave her lovely purple parka rolled up in a bundle in the woods - unintuitive as it sounded, slipping into a clothing shop in her undergarments would be much less notable than doing so in Water Tribe clothes, and much less likely to give her heatstroke. Either way, it was embarrassing.

“Excuse me, do you know where I could buy a robe?”

After blinking for a moment, the Home Guard soldier pointed down the street. “That building, right there. Ming can get you something less… revealing, I’m sure.”

That would be greatly appreciated.

Ignoring the soldier’s eyes fixed on her figure, Azula strode towards the clothing shop. Fortunately, the streets of Tusona seemed to be mostly empty - she only noticed a few other domestic forces personnel, and a couple of surprised shoppers doing their best not to stare. 

Would it have been a better idea to keep wearing the parka?

There was no way to avoid a certain amount of attention in this situation - there were simply worse and better options. She would just have to hope that whatever village gossip resulted from her appearance would not cause her problems down the line. 

And that no one would recognize her.

“Are you Miss Ming?” Azula said demurely as she opened the door. “I need to-”

“Oh, Agni’s rays! I see!” the older woman behind the counter exclaimed, cutting her off. “You - oh, what’s your name, dear? You can’t be from around here.”

“Fuyuka.” 

“Flower? Oh, that does suit you.” This woman was obviously going to talk the instant she left - Azula knew her type, and was very glad she had thought of a fake name. “Now, what would you like?”

Something purple, preferably-

Wait.

A problem occurred to her - she had been so busy thinking about what was off about her situation that she hadn’t thought of how to pay for the clothes. “I don’t have any money, but I can work-”

“Do you think I would let a young woman wander around without more than bindings to her name? Here, let me find something I can give you.” As she rummaged through a bin of discount clothes, Ming tutted. “If I may ask, Fuyuka, how did you end up in such an awful situation in the first place?”

Azula had been expecting such a question since before she walked into town, and had prepared an answer. “I was abducted by spirits.”

No reason not to tell the truth…

“Oh, you poor thing!” the tailor exclaimed, spinning back around for a moment before she remembered what she was doing. “I’ve heard stories about spirits in these forests, but I’ve never met anyone who encountered one - oh, forgive me, I can’t ask you to tell what you went through like that.” Abandoning the discount bin, she took a surprisingly nice red kimono off the wall behind her and handed it to her, no longer smiling. “Here, try this. It’s a man's, I hope you don’t mind the-”

“Not at all.”

The robe was easy to slip on - definitely a bit too large, but that was to be expected from something she had been given for free. Not that Azula particularly cared, anyway.

This will work.

“It fits? Wonderful! I was worried it would be too large, but it still shows your figure quite well.” Despite the energy in her voice, Ming now looked quite sober. “It’s - was - my son’s, so I’m glad it could be put to use. He was killed in battle only a couple of weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

That sounded awful-

Sucking in a breath, the older woman shook her head angrily. “Damn those water savages! I hope Fire Lord Azulon orders their ice huts melted to the ground for everything they’ve done to our soldiers.”

Ah.

I-

“Again, I’m sorry.” Azula shoved down her ire and put on her best face of tepid agreement. “War is misery.”

“Isn’t it awful?” Ming agreed. “And to think - I have to live here, right next to the prisons where they put those waterbenders! I can barely sleep some nights, thinking about it.”

A connection flashed in Azula’s memory - the waterbender prisons. Torture, dehydration, death, horror. Tusona.

They were brought here-

I’ve never been so glad to walk into a town in bindings.

Too much information. She was in Tusona during the reign of Fire Lord Azulon, just after one of his raids on the Southern Water Tribe-

“I hope you find some peace,” she said, bowing metronomically. “And thank you for the clothes. Your son would be proud of your kindness.”

For the first time, it seemed like Ming had nothing to say as she slipped out of the door. Azula did not, either - she was far too busy trying to make sense of everything.

That crab-thing sent me back in time. And to this specific location.

There was no way the spirit had done so randomly - there had to be a purpose. It had to be part of the trial. 

But what was she going to do about it?

What options do I have?

Slowly sitting down on the edge of a fountain, Azula considered her situation. She was trapped in the past, under the regime of arguably the most brutal Fire Lord of the Hundred Year War, with nothing except a kimono given to her by a generous shopkeeper. All she had to do to survive was to blend in, keep her head down-

That was unthinkable. 

Azula stood up, sparks in her throat, and strode back towards the woods. 

“Hama?”

Blood dripped out of her hands. “They cannot know. If I slash their throats, it looks like they were attacked with waterbending.”

She had attacked them with waterbending, of course. But the less the Fire Nation knew, the better.

“I don’t feel any more of them,” Hama said, starting towards the guards’ living quarters. “Now, we need spare outfits for each of us.”

Her fellow tribespeople followed her as quietly as they could, stepping through the scarlet spatters. None of them said anything to her, but she thought she could hear them whispering to one another.

They fear me.

Only once they had all started rummaging through the spare outfits did someone break the silence. “Where do we go from here, Hama?”

“Away.”

“Away to where?” Atiq replied. “We could take a ship and flee back to the South, but then what? The ashmakers will send another raid, once they realize that we have escaped.”

And there’s nothing-

“I know.”

“Another raid.” Hama could feel Taupek shuddering as she spoke. “They would burn the rest of our home out of spite, and take our children.”

“As if they wouldn’t do that already.”

Katjuk is right. 

They will only stop when the world is theirs, or when it burns. 

Silence fell over the bunkrooms again, broken only by the sound of drawers opening and fabric rustling. Hama could still feel the full moon high above her - it was barely midnight, and in the depths of winter. Tui would be with her for a long time yet.

“What do you think we should do, then, Hama?”

Ah-

To her, the answer was obvious. Wage a war of terror against the Fire Nation from the inside, keep them from ever finding rest to renew their armies. Inflict horror upon them, the same way they had her.

Twice.

“First, we hide,” she answered, slipping into a red robe. “Then, we strike back.”

After a moment of consideration, Katjuk nodded briskly. “Disrupt their war effort as much as possible.”

Exactly.

“I have my bloodbending, and all of us are waterbenders.” There was no missing the shiver that ran through the other three when she said that - Hama could feel it in her wrists, echoes tracing along her skin. “We can cause a great deal of damage to them.”

“We have to become assassins?”

“Yes, Atiq.”

They sighed at the floor, but said nothing, returning to their search for clothes. Having finished with her own kimono, Hama started to help her friends get theirs on - the unfamiliar garments were something of a struggle for them, and they also had no idea about the small details that would make the difference between being unremarkable and being noticed. It was necessary, as much as she hated it.

We’re done here.

If we want to survive until the next full moon, we need to hide. As soon as possible.

“Can we leave this place?” Taupek asked. “I hate it here.”

“I think we all do.”
“Yes.”

The four of them quickly left the barracks and made their way out of the prison compound. Taupek picked the locks on the exterior doors with some water she had found hidden away in a guard’s personal belongings, and they stepped into the moonlight, letting it wash over them like a silvery blanket.

Tui… thank you for your blessings and your curses.

“La’s depths, it feels good to be out of there,” Atiq whispered. “Thank you, Hama - and whatever spirit aided you.”

“Agreed.”

As nice as the fresh air felt, Hama knew they had no time to relax in it - they needed to be fairly far from the prison before the sun rose. “Follow me-”

Before they could enter the forest, though, Hama held up a hand.

Stop.

There was a pulse somewhere in the trees ahead of them - too far to latch onto, but tangible under her fingers nonetheless. Another ashmaker, striding towards them in a hurry.

Hama waited for her grip to solidify, then clamped down, pulling the Fire National closer. Behind her, she felt the hazy sensations of her fellow waterbenders stepping back as the figure swayed into the open, wolf-gold eyes wide with shock-

What?

You-

A young woman, wearing a purple parka with the hood down, and a pair of mukluks. Water Tribe clothes on an ashmaker. She tightened her grip.

“Hama-”

Then the woman wheezed, barely able to breathe - they can’t bend if they can’t breathe - a wisp of blue fire curling from her mouth. 

Blue-

Blue. A flash of blue, unlike any fire she had ever seen, the only thing she could make out in a purple haze-

“Who are you?”

As soon as she relaxed her grip, the woman almost keeled over, coughing as though she had just been choked nearly to death. Hama saw a few more sparks fly from her mouth before she answered with, “Azula.”

Azulon?

“Hama?” Atiq stepped up next to her. “What are you doing?”

“How did you find me?”

“A spirit,” the woman named Azula replied, scrutinizing her with her piercing eyes. “You?”

The exact same.

Narrowing her eyes, Hama nodded once, a finger on her pulse. “You’re coming with us. Whether you like it or not.”

“Thank you.”

Only when Agni’s light began to tint the edges of the sky did Azula finally feel like she could breathe again.

They had stopped to set up camp near a small creek, with just a sliver of nighttime left. Azula had managed to convince the waterbenders that she could help by starting a small fire and controlling it, keeping it from smoking so it wouldn’t reveal their location. One of the Water Tribe escapees had pulled some fish from the stream, and they had quickly prepared them and impaled them on a spit over the open flame. Then, they had retreated to the water’s edge, watching distrustfully.

Well, all but one of them.

Hama.

Azula had heard that name before from Katara. An old woman, the only survivor of the Fire Nation death camps, who had invented the ability to bend the fluids within living beings. Bloodbending, Katara had called it.

This was, undoubtedly, a much younger version of her. No wonder she was so fearless.

“You said a spirit helped you find me,” Hama began, watching her warily. “Did it look like a man in armor-”

“With a crab’s face?”

“Yes.”

So you’ve seen it, too. That’s what’s going on.

“Did it make you an offer as well?”

“It did. I accepted.” Was Hama coming to the same realization that she was? “And so did you, didn’t you?”

“Mhm.”

We both traveled… back in time.

A laugh slipped through her lips. “It brought us both back, didn’t it? That’s what it did.”

Hama nodded and chuckled, too, storm-gray eyes flashing in the firelight. Still wary, but not immediately hostile.

“How did you recognize my fire?”

She doesn’t seem to know who I am…

“They said that I would not be alone. And I saw blue fire as I died.”

I see.

For a spirit, that’s as obvious as lightning to the face.

Azula remembered the thick reddish fog clouding her eyes, and nodded. “That makes sense.”

“What about you?” Hama asked pointedly. “Why did you come looking for me? Did the spirit tell you to?”

What do you really want, ashmaker?

“It did not - not then, at least.” In retrospect, the bloody mist made sense - this woman was a bloodbender, after all. But the crab spirit had never told her that she would have a partner in her trial. “All it told me was that I would have an opportunity to reinvent myself. So when I found myself here, I knew I had to break into the prison and free you all.”

Now Hama looked truly surprised. “You wanted to free us?”

“Why do you think I was running through the woods in the middle of the night?” Azula replied dryly. “But yes, I did. That place is an atrocity.” 

“I never thought I would hear a firebender say that.”

“If you had met me when I was younger, I wouldn’t have.” Brushing her hesitance aside, Azula kept speaking. “You do know who I was, don’t you?”

She was-

“Princess Azula.”

“Exactly.”

An unreadable series of emotions passed over Hama’s face, and Azula tensed slightly. If a fight broke out-

“I didn’t even recognize you,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re named after him - that bastard Azulon, may he drown forever.”

That was a terrible fate for a firebender. Perfect, in Azula’s opinion. “May he drown forever.”

Both of them sat in silence for a few degrees, glancing at one another and commiserating over their shared hatred. It was far from friendship, or even trust, but there was a connection between them there, too. 

She had a chance to change the world, as long as she didn’t fuck it up.

“Why?”

It took a moment for Azula to figure out how to respond. “They sent me to the Northern Water Tribe after the war ended, where there was a woman who could help me heal. Master Yagoda.” After Hama nodded, she went on. “Then I learned the truth. It was… horrific, when I realized that everything I had ever dedicated myself to was wrong. And I never understood what to do with myself after that.” Her feelings dripped from her mouth like she was frozen, like the crab spirit was still piercing her with its black eyes, and she found she regretted none of it. “Everything I could have done - it meant nothing. So when I was offered an opportunity to test myself, I took it.”

Does she believe-

“Hm.”

I think she might… maybe.

Please-

“All I want is to end this war,” Azula pleaded, and as soon as she said it she knew it was true. “If-”

“How?”

That was the question - and Azula thought she had an answer. 

“I am of the line of Agni. A Fire Sage would be able to tell.” Royal ancestry was not required, per se, but to make a claim without issuing the challenge of an Agni Kai she would have to trust that the Caldera sages would find her claims of royal blood true. “And I know all the palace’s secrets. We can assassinate Azulon without being detected, and I can become Fire Lord instead.”

She has to trust me enough-

“You want to bluff your way onto the throne,” Hama confirmed. “And you want me to-”

“I can’t kill Azulon - not like this. But I can hold the Throne of Fire once I have it.”

It was a massive gamble to take. She could barely summon a flame - challenging Azulon to an Agni Kai was out of the question, and even defending her position from the inevitable challengers would be risky. But she had laid her life down already.

Ba Sing Se all over again. 

Smirking viciously, Hama shook her sleek brown hair. “Oh, I would love to stop his heart in-”

“Who?”

“Azulon,” Hama replied, looking over to the other waterbender who had approached them. “Curse him and - never mind. You’ve decided to join us, Atiq?”

Nodding, the man turned to her, eyes narrowed. “And who are you?”

Why are you here?

Why should we let you stay, rather than killing you and leaving your body in the forest?

“It’s a long story. I would rather tell all of you at once.” Next to her, Hama nodded in agreement. “And I would like to know your names.”

“Hama?”

“She’s right.”

So they all sat down around the fire and began to talk. The man who had asked her her name introduced himself as Katjuk, and the other two were called Taupek and Atiqtalaaq. Azula replied with her own name, and tried not to let the obvious distrust on their faces get to her as she began to tell her story.

I have to prove myself to them, too. I have to.

By the time they had finished explaining everything all over again, the sun had risen, and the fish were done roasting over the fire. Azula was as hungry as the rest of them, and so she ate.

“So the spirit did not just teach you to bloodbend, it brought you back. And Azula along with you,” Atiq confirmed. “A strange story, but entirely believable. Spirits do strange things.”

For reasons that they aren’t very keen on revealing.

Does it want the war to end earlier? Or is there something else?

Shaking away the wild ideas of time travel, Azula chuckled a little bit. “Strange is certainly one way to describe it.”

“You said you wanted to kill the Fire Lord, didn’t you?” Interestingly, Katjuk was looking at her despite having heard Hama gloating about it - and both of them nodded at the same time. “That would strike a blow-”

“We can do more than that.”

“I can kill him,” Hama said, glancing at her with another brilliant smirk. “And Azula is his granddaughter - a child of the royal line. She can take the throne.”

Unsurprisingly, the other three waterbenders looked reluctant to believe that. Azula herself was - it was an absurd plan. But they were all desperate.

“You’re willing to betray your country so easily?”

Yes.

Azula laughed again. “What else is there for me to do?”

Chapter Text

She and Azula were unstoppable together. 

As it turned out, the Fire Nation palace was riddled with insecurities - secret passageways that ran through the volcanic rock under Caldera City, unused and unmonitored. They were supposedly for royals who needed to escape dangerous situations, but Hama was more than happy to turn them against the Fire Lord and his family.

All their defenses for nothing… 

Thank the spirits for Azula’s help. Quite literally.

There were a few guards, of course, but she knew how to deal with them. Azula had made no objection when she stopped the first one’s heart in place - it was far safer than simply making them faint, with no chance of them waking up and warning others about the possibility of an attack. And besides, no healer would be able to discern anything unusual about their deaths, other than the timing.

It would be easy for Azula to explain her inexorable power as vengeance from the spirits. In a way, that was what it was.

Killing Azulon sent joy thrumming through her veins. It was far from the painful death she wished for him - had it been practical, she would have slowly drawn his blood from his veins in icicles, leaving him more than enough time to contemplate his demise - but it had the same result. His wife did not awaken as his heart stopped, or when Hama turned to her and quenched both pulses in her chest as well. 

Yes.

Only Azula’s slight shudder punctuated the silence, rippling under her skin like near-frozen water. Was she really so elated at the death of her own progenitors?

“I dreamed of that for so many years,” she said as the two of them slipped out, making their way to Crown Prince Iroh’s room. “Do you have any idea how good it feels?”

Azula simply smiled, blue flame casting shadows across her face. “I can see it in your eyes, Hama.”

“And I can feel it in your heart.”

They walked in silence for the rest of the night. Hama relished in the power of the full moon, and the glorious vindication of killing the man who had been the architect of so much misery. She did not know what Azula was thinking, but she did notice that she was still smiling softly, blood singing with as much happiness as her own.

I never would have imagined it. Working with a Fire National.

But I don’t think I would have it any other way.

Taupek greeted her anxiously as soon as she saw them return. “Did-”

“Yes.” She couldn’t hide the ghastly smirk on her face, nor did she want to. “I killed him.”

“And Ilah,” Azula added from just behind her. “And the Crown Prince. We’ve destabilized my entire line in a night.” She felt - and sounded - almost giddy with shock, as if she could pass out on the spot, and Hama moved a little closer just in case. “It’s astonishing.”

Taking a few steps back, Taupek nodded in agreement. “He deserved it.”

They all did.

When they walked into the empty house, they were immediately greeted by Atiq with a plate of ocean kumquats. Unfortunately, these tasted nothing like sea prunes - they didn’t stew them right - but they were still food, and Hama was starving.

“Thank you, Elder Atiqtalaaq.”

“You’re welcome, Azula,” Atiq replied, “but I don’t think you have to call me an elder. I’m not that old. And shouldn’t I be calling you ‘Princess Azula?’”

“I’d rather you not.”

Hm.

That was the first time Azula had mentioned her title outside of their plans. She had never demanded that they use it, and she had never acted like royalty either. Aloof, certainly, but not spoiled or condescending, and certainly not hateful.

If anything, she seemed to loathe the Fire Nation as Hama herself did - a cool, hardened distaste. 

“You made it.” As he finished the last of his food, Katjuk sighed, relaxing tangibly. “I assume you were successful?”

“Yes, we were.”

“It won’t be long before someone finds out,” Azula said, putting her bowl down and primly wiping a few drops of soup from her mouth. “Probably a servant, or one of the guards getting suspicious. I expect that the entire palace will know by midmorning.”

Looking unconvinced, Katjuk nodded, giving them both a wary look. “And you plan to walk in and claim your right to the throne-”

“As soon as possible.” Apparently this was enough to warrant an interruption from Azula. “The last thing we want is for various distant relatives to start showing up and killing each other - and everyone else - while trying to take power. It’s been hundreds of years since a crisis of that kind happened, and it’s still taught in schools to this day.”

Ah. I see.

Yet another reason why they venerate the royal family so much…

“Won’t they just try to kill you?”

“Probably,” Azula admitted, “but I am an exceptional firebender.” She held a pale blue flame on her palm to demonstrate. “I can handle myself. I’m flattered that you’re worried, though.”

“Flattered?”

“I - yes?”

What an odd thing to say.

“We are relying on you to end this war.” As always, Taupek’s suspicion did not seem to rattle Azula whatsoever - she simply accepted it. Hama liked that about her. “So we are concerned about you.”

“Of course.”

When no one added anything, Azula clapped her hands together. “Well, I think I had better leave for Caldera again. If I don’t come looking for you with the Fire Lord’s headpiece, then assume the worst.”

With nothing but the clothes on her back…

And royal blood in her veins, of course.

Personally, Hama did not trust whatever arcane methods the Fire Sages used to discern royal blood. Azula had tried to explain it at one point, but it had quickly devolved into a babble of firebending-related nonsense that she couldn’t understand. Nor did she trust them to back Azula at all - but Azula herself seemed confident that they would, and she was the one who would be walking into the palace in broad daylight.

Either she was certain that her plan would work, or suicidal. Possibly both.

Neither of us came into this expecting success.

“Good luck.”

“Thank you.” Golden eyes shimmering, Azula looked at her. “Hama, could you keep my parka and mukluks for me?”

“You won’t take them?”

“I can’t, it would be even more suspicious if I had them,” Azula replied flatly. “And I doubt I’ll be able to arrange for you to return them - not that it wouldn’t still be suspicious, either. But I know someone in your tribe can use them.”

That’s quite nice of you…

Hama nodded. “Of course.”

Azula, not one to be outdone, took the throne like a practiced usurper.

She strode up to the palace gates at noon, dressed in the same clothes that Ming had given her, and announced herself as an heir to the throne sent by the spirits. That was easy enough.

Everything after that was not.

Several guards all but dragged her into one of the palace interrogation rooms, where they demanded to know why she was there. Unfazed, she reiterated her previous statement. Then again. And again.

They were just threatening to lightly torture her for the fourth time when High Sage Himari entered and ordered them to take her to the Caldera temple. Azula agreed, knowing that she had won.

All I need is for them to listen.

Whispers of her blue flame and uncanny knowledge of the Fire Nation spread like wildfire through Caldera, almost as quickly as the rumors of spiritual judgment that she had conveniently ensured were overheard. Faced with an empty throne, an unsolvable mystery, and a fear they were pitifully unwilling to voice, many of the nobility were easily convinced to accept her story and back her claim. Whether that was because of its veracity or because they saw her as the strongest candidate was something she could deal with later.

In the end, though, it came down to the Fire Sages. They had quickly verified her claim as a direct descendant of the line of Agni - partly through their analysis of her fire, but partly, she knew, because they were desperate to prevent the Fire Nation from descending into chaos. And their support meant everything.

So when High Sage Himari came to her one morning, she knew what he would say before he opened his mouth. “Azula, we are prepared to crown you Fire Lord.”

And so they did.

I did it… and I didn’t even have to lie.

This is better than Ba Sing Se.

Her first challenger - a distant nephew of Azulon who looked less than determined - showed up the day of her coronation, his parents watching carefully from the wings. It only took a deflected fire whip and a slight burn on one arm for him to back down, and no one else came forward to attempt to seize the crown.

When she proclaimed that the war was over, an old general from Sozin’s time stood up on the spot. “You dare to chastise us like mongoose-lizards for bringing the world under our heel? You, a woman who has never seen war?” he spat, and Azula saw his words reflected in eyes around the table. “You dare? I challenge you to an Agni Kai - to the death!”

Do you accept, you traitorous bitch?

It was meant to be a frightening challenge, from a frightening man. General Mak had been known even in her time for being a skilled firebender, a slayer of Air Nomads and waterbenders at both poles, barely below the power of the royal family. 

Azula killed him with his own flames, storm-gray eyes flashing behind her vision. 

Vengeance.

None of them dared to oppose her after that, and so she took on the twin nightmares of making peace with the rest of the world and ensuring peace within the Fire Nation. Omashu was the first to respond - in typical King Bumi fashion, too, I’ll have to accept that chute-riding invitation at some point - and then the Southern Water Tribe.

The first thing they demanded as proof of her peaceful intentions was the return of their captured waterbenders. Azula, Katjuk, and Taupek had planned for this while they lay low - she would order the distribution of posters and missives saying that any Water Tribe escapees were safe, they would respond with a disbelieving letter, she would seek them out and find them. All in full view of the Fire Nation.

It was the same kind of half-improvised choreography that had won Azula the throne, and that had brought down Ba Sing Se. 

And so there they were, waiting in the guest suite that Azula had offered them. She had a lot to say.

This was not the official apology that she had given earlier, in front of the nobility. This was between them.

“I am sorry.”

“This is just as ridiculous the second time,” Atiqtalaaq replied seriously. “You did nothing but help us.”

It was a performance. That’s why I’m saying this now.

“And the man I was named after damaged your tribe in a way I cannot repair.” Apologizing for someone else’s actions was imperfect - spirits know she had done it before - but she had seen that it had an effect. “As his granddaughter-”

“Also, it’s not even the second time. I lost count.”

…that’s true.

Had she been reiterating her regret too much?

Azula decided to move on. “A few ships from the Southern Water Tribe are traveling to Whale Tail Island,” she said, looking at the four waterbenders, “and they will take you home from there. They were reluctant to come closer to the Fire Nation, for obvious reasons.”

“How will we get there?”

“How do you feel about taking one of the Southern Raiders’ ships?”

Dead silence. 

Was that a good idea?

“Stealing it?” Hama asked, smiling. “That would-”

“I can’t do that, unfortunately. I would have to give it to you.” As the Fire Lord, she at least had to try to protect her nation’s naval assets - letting her guests steal an unused ship would not go over well. “But I wouldn’t expect you to return it, either.”

“Ah.”

“A ship might be useful,” Katjuk admitted, “but for what? We wouldn’t have the coal to fuel it, or enough waterbenders to operate it without fuel.”

With a shrug, Atiq replied, “We could always scrap it and sell the metal.”

This sparked a much more animated conversation between the two, which Azula decided did not require her presence. “I’ll leave you alone now, then.”

I’ll… whatever I wanted to say will have to wait.

None of the Southerners objected, so she walked off, leaving them to their discussion. They would be leaving in a few days, and there was no more reason for Azula to spend time with them. Undoubtedly they would prefer each other’s company to hers.

I am the Fire Lord now. I have a nation to be responsible for, and a world to make peace with.

And I made it happen… with the help of a spirit.

For some reason, her feet took her to the turtleduck pond. There was a single drake there, in dull winter plumage - eclipse plumage, Azula had read once years ago. Its head was tucked under its feathers, and it did not move when she sat down.

“Why did I come here again?”

There was no response, of course. She was alone-

“Why are you asking me?” Hama said from behind her. “I-”

“How did I not hear you?”

“I’ve been on hunts before, Azula. I know how to be quiet.” And she hadn’t been paying attention, though she didn’t need Hama to tell her that. “But stealth relies on the opponent’s lack of awareness, too.”

Well…

Snorting, Azula acquiesced. “Fine, I wasn’t expecting you to follow me here.”

Rather than say anything else, Hama just sat down next to her, extending a hand toward the placid surface of the pond. A slight twitch of her fingers sent ripples across it, startling the turtleduck into raising its head.

“So, why did you come down here?”

Didn’t I just say I didn’t know?

“You were talking,” Azula replied, not turning her head. “I came to deliver news, not to offer advice on what you should do with a ship.”

That got a laugh from Hama. “That conversation was between Atiq and Katjuk anyway. I would have just sunk the damn thing and been done with it.”

“Send it to La’s depths.”

“Exactly.”

She couldn’t think of any way to continue the conversation, so she didn’t try, letting it end as abruptly as it had begun. Hama went back to playing with the pond water, slowly taking more of it into her hands and making more and more elaborate shapes with it. The sight brought back memories for Azula - good ones, mostly, if a bit bittersweet.

People will see this… but I don’t mind. They can learn to live with it.

They have to learn to live with it.

“You’ll write, won’t you?”

Write?

It took Azula a moment to understand. “Letters?”

“What do you think I meant?” Hama asked, chuckling again. “Yes, Azula. Letters. Like friends send to each other.” Then she shook her head, hair flying about her face. “I wouldn’t be able to believe you were so awkward if I hadn’t spent a month on the run with you.”

“I am not awkward.”

You are very awkward.

“If you say so.”

“Fine, I’ll admit it. Friendly chats are not one of my strong points.” Plotting, intimidating, dictating - those were things she had learned from a young age. Maintaining friendships had been a reward for good behavior, not a priority. “And I’ll try to remember to write.”

“Try?”

Azula sighed. “I’m going to be very busy.”

“As long as that isn’t an excuse to ignore me,” Hama conceded, “I can understand it. It’s unusual to think that someone from the Fire Nation would consider a waterbender a friend.”

And there was the word ‘friend’ again. Azula decided that she would accept it as it was.

We are friends.

“Change starts from within.”

“Is that something from Yagoda?” 

“No.”

You know… I don’t actually remember where that came from.

Uncle’s sayings were never so short.

Neither of them felt a need to say anything more, or to get up and walk away. They simply were, for a few precious degrees.

It was nice.

You should send a letter.

Azula couldn’t say she had forgotten - she couldn’t. It was impossible to forget about Hama, in a way that would have been aggravating beyond belief if she had not enjoyed it. Those memories were nostalgic, in a way that nothing else in her life had been.

Certainly nothing in her life was nostalgic now. She had memories of the Fire Nation palace, but they had become corroded, coated with the same morbid patina that had claimed much of her time in the North. Being the Fire Lord did not change that, even if it kept her busy.

Busy, not happy. Yagoda had tried to help her understand that difference, and though she had failed in her time, she had laid the groundwork for Azula to understand her own misery.

Not happy.

Her inner flame was hot, bright, and completely soulless. 

“Just do it,” she whispered to herself, pushing the latest batch of paperwork and missives from local Fire Nation leaders aside. “She asked you to.”

Taking a fresh sheet of paper, Azula began to write.

To Master Hama of the Southern Water Tribe…

“Hello, Fire Lord Azula.”

No pulse-sense was required to tell that the Fire Lord was cold - she was visibly shivering in her red parka, and her voice shook as she replied, “Hello, Master Hama.”

Master Hama.

She stood to the side as Azula and Chief Yutu greeted each other, keeping her distance from the faceless Fire Nation guards. There were fewer of them than she might have expected.

“You’re staring,” Kanna whispered in her ear, voice lilting. “And I can see why-”

“Shh.”

“Fine, fine.” Her old friend stepped back, though not without prodding her in the ribs first. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

Really, Kanna?

Why did I even tell her I wanted to talk with Azula? I should have known she would take it this way…

But is she wrong to?

After waiting for several more minutes, Hama finally got her chance as Chief Yutu stepped away, leaving Azula alone with her escort. Swallowing her distaste, she stepped forward.

“We should catch up.” All four of the guards stiffened, but Azula waved them back. “All you’ve done is send silly letters.”

“They’re not silly-”

“You write so stiffly it’s funny,” Hama interrupted - the Fire Nation soldiers tensed again. “Like-”

“Why are you talking to the Fire Lord like that?”

“Peace, Li,” Azula said firmly. “She was one of my guests in the palace, and we send letters to each other. I do not see it as disrespect to be teased by a friend.”

Also, she knows I’m right. 

“Yes, Fire Lord Azula.” Bowing, the man backed up, and the other three guards joined him. “I understand.”

“Good.”

After a moment, Azula turned to her again. “I would greatly appreciate it if you showed me your home, Hama.”

Why do you have to talk like that?

“As long as you can handle the cold, Fire Lord.”

“I have a parka.” Looking vaguely amused, Azula gestured for her escort to stop following her and walked over, not slipping on the ice once. “And I’m not a firebender for nothing, I won’t freeze.”

The two of them quickly set off, Hama leading the way through their town. With the end of the war - and generous reparations from Azula’s Fire Nation - the capital of the Southern Water Tribe was growing again, evolving into a city that would both rival and outclass the North. She had seen it happen twice now.

“So this is what our aid has been going to,” Azula half-whispered, seemingly to herself. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’m surprised you appreciate our architecture.”

“She told me how it was different.” Both of them knew who ‘she’ was - Hama couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of resentment, and she knew Azula felt the same. “I saw a lot of Northern work when I spent time in Agna Qel’a, and I always wished I could see the Southern style in life. Now I can.”

Pointing out an engraved wall that she found particularly appealing, Hama asked, “So, how does it compare?”

“If I had to answer right now? I would say I like this better-”

Ha!

Take that, you Northern bastards. 

“-after what the Earth Kingdom has been doing, I’m glad to see reparation money being put to an actual use,” Azula continued with a huff. “Ba Sing Se isn’t even subtle - they steal from the funds being sent to the damaged areas. I would cut them off entirely, but those towns still need the remainder.” Some of the energy seemed to leave the Fire Lord as she spoke, her eyes losing their predatory gleam. “And don’t even get me started on the former colonies. Yu Dao is one terrorist act away from becoming an actual war zone, as opposed to a political one.”

“So, it’s not as easy as you thought.”

“I never said it would be easy.” That was a lie - Hama distinctly remembered Azula reassuring them with those words. “This was always meant to be a sacrifice. A way of cutting off the cycle, so that people like me wouldn’t end up like me.”

A sacrifice to keep herself alive.

Azula had mentioned that during their month in hiding, after a great deal of coaxing. None of them had trusted her motives at first, and so they had pried away at her facades, forcing her to admit the truth.

Depression and grief were understandable enough.

“That’s enough of that,” Hama interjected, taking Azula’s hand and leading her towards the edge of the town. “You only have a little time here, and I’m curious about how much of your reputation is exaggerated propaganda.”

“None of it.”

They made their way to one of the open ice fields and began. Hama had heard tales of Princess Azula’s firebending prowess before, and she had seen Fire Lord Azula ruthlessly dispatch one of the murderers of her people - but fighting her herself felt different. This was just the two of them, Hama and Azula, testing the limits of each others’ skill.

Does she know how long I’ve been wanting to do this?

It certainly felt like Azula knew, and like she had been just as eager. Her strikes were as precise as needles and as powerful as storm waves - often both at once - and her eyes flashed with glee as she wove and danced across the snow. If she was afraid, she did not show it. Hama felt just as elated, especially when she noticed that many of Azula’s moves were more like those of a waterbending master than a firebender.

Yes.

After a whirlwind eternity of sparring, Hama let her hands drop to her side. “I see why so many stories were told about you, Azula.”

“Mhm.” Both of them came to a stop on the ice, staring at each other. Hama could feel their hearts pounding. “Did I live up to my name?”

“Yes.”

“That’s nice,” Azula agreed, conjuring a small wisp of fire in her palm and examining it curiously. “My inner flame liked that.”

Oh, she really does look like she’s glowing…

“Liked it?”

“I felt much more alive, compared to the last few months.” Maybe it was just the aftereffects of exertion, but Hama couldn’t help but notice that Azula looked quite flushed. “Perhaps it was sparring. Or sparring with you, specifically.”

Is she flirting?

Hm.

Leaning closer, Hama lightly kissed her on the cheek. “I’m very flattered.”

Her face can get redder?  

“Why did you do that?”

Maybe she had made an error in judgment. “I didn’t mean to upset you-”

“You didn’t upset me at all. It was nice,” Azula admitted, and Hama felt herself relax again. “I just… why?”

“Because it seemed like the right time to.” 

Now she wasn’t quite sure what to say - and Azula clearly wasn’t either. They just stood there-

“That was quicker than I expected.”

Kanna!

When Hama glanced over, she saw her best friend - joined by a few other members of the tribe, and a couple of kids - watching them and smiling. Clearly she had been too involved with Azula to notice that they had attracted spectators.

“Don’t mind her-”

“What did you mean by it?” Azula interrupted, lowering her voice. “Are you-”

“Yes.”

There, Kanna, you win. I told her.

Happy now?

“I - I am not objecting to this, but I do not think it is possible.” And there was the stiff speech from her letters - Azula was not quite backing away, but she might as well have been. “I cannot ask you to travel to the Fire Nation for me, and I cannot leave.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t-”

“Hama, it’s getting late,” Azula cut in, the distance between them widening. “It was lovely sparring with you, it really was, but I need to discuss trade agreements and further reparations with the council. We can talk later.”

As Azula hurriedly walked away, Hama gave Kanna a vicious glare. Look what you did!

Now what am I supposed to do?

Azula spent the entire trip back to the Fire Nation deep in thought.

Chapter Text

After that, everything changed.

There were very few occasions for her to visit Hama - and none for Hama to visit her - so their relationship remained one of letters and infrequent trips to the South Pole. But there was no question that it felt different.

Azula wanted more of that feeling. Hungered for it, even, like her flame hungered for sunlight and the joy she was starting to realize had faded long ago.

There’s a reason they do things the way they do. 

Now I understand it.

So she went from thinking to planning. Bringing in more advisors from everywhere in the Fire Nation was the first step - one which the nobility inevitably protested, but they were easily convinced to quiet down when Azula explained how this would further bolster their economy and help relations with the fledgling United Republic. They did not see what she was moving towards.

Instead of working to take control, she was working to let go.

She could not simply leave, of course - that would create yet another power vacuum, one which would undoubtedly result in either a civil war or the rise of some charismatic despot. Likely both. But she had other plans.

And it’s not like I planned to have an heir, anyway. If I stayed here I would just be putting off the inevitable, and I’ve already done enough of that.

As she gradually bled power from the Fire Nation’s aristocracy, Azula simultaneously arranged to replace it with a system similar to the one Sokka had originally proposed for the United Republic. It was slow - miserably so, at times, a tenuous process stretching out over months and years of adjustment and preparation - but every visit to the Republic and the Water Tribes, and every letter she received from Hama, renewed her resolve.

This is the right thing to do.

For me - and for the Fire Nation.

There was no certainty that her plan would even work. She would be leaving everything behind, out of her control, at the hands of a people whom she had felt less and less bound to over the years, and whose actions she could not predict. 

All she could do was encourage them to start on the right path - and put measures in place to make following the wrong one very difficult indeed. 

And, perhaps, take advantage of her spirit-chosen status one more time. 

I wonder if they’re watching me do all this…

On the fateful day when she chose to make her announcement, Azula invited citizens from every corner of the Fire Nation to her address. She did not specify what it would be about - only that she had something very important to say. As expected, the plaza was packed.

“Today, I come before you all as your Fire Lord, to announce that I will be the last,” she proclaimed. Untangling the ancient golden headpiece from her topknot, she handed it to High Sage Himari, ushering two of her most trusted former advisers up next to her. “I was never meant to start a new dynasty in the name of Agni, but to end this one. From now on, your fate will be where it belongs - in your own hands.”

Then she vanished from the stage.

“Hello, Hama.”

“Welcome back, Azula.”

Even without the news, Hama would have been able to tell that something had changed in the Fire Nation. Azula had come alone on a Kyoshi Island merchant vessel, rather than a steel cruiser filled with guards and staff - and she was not wearing the Fire Lord’s headpiece. 

It’s true.

She did give it all up.

“It’s good to be back,” Azula replied lightly. Much to Hama’s surprise, she opened her arms for a hug - which, of course, was more than fine with her. “I missed being here with you.”

With me, hm?

Had Azula actually learned how to flirt since her last three letters? Or was she just being honest, without thinking about the implications of her words?

“How much time are you planning to spend here with me?” Ignoring the dawdling spectators, Hama backed just far enough away from Azula that the tips of her fingers still rested on her waist. “Now that you don’t have to deal with your responsibilities-”

“I have as much time as I like.”

And she wants to spend it here. With me.

“Do you want to spar?”

“Of course.”

They set off for the training grounds together, hand in hand. Azula had never continued holding her hand before, and Hama found she enjoyed it just as much as she did their sparring matches.

By now, they had grown used to each other’s combat styles, and so it felt more like dancing. Blocking bursts of fire flowed into a water whip, which was deflected by a tendril of fire like two dueling sea serpents - and then Azula used her other hand to strike out, and the cycle began again. It could go on for hours.

Hama wanted to actually dance with Azula, too. And now that she was staying with them-

“Are you done?”

Unsurprisingly, Azula had noticed that she was distracted. “I think so.”

“What do you want to do now, then?” her friend asked. “We have time to do… well, anything you want. And you know your home best.”

Anything I want?

“There was something we never got to do.”

This time, Azula was expecting her kiss, and she leaned in to meet her. She didn’t quite know what she was doing, but Hama could work with-

And then someone started clapping from behind them.

I-

Of course she would be right there.

They stopped and glared, Hama speaking first. “Was that really necessary, Kanna?”

“Oh, don’t be so upset about it,” her friend replied nonchalantly. “Besides, I’ve been waiting for you two to properly admit your feelings to each other for almost two years now. I wasn’t going to miss it when it finally happened.”

“We sent letters-”

“But was that really enough?”

“She has a point,” Azula whispered, lips brushing her ear in a very tantalizing way. “It wasn’t enough.”

True…

Now, though, they had all the time in the world. And when Azula kissed her again, Hama knew they could make use of it.

She awoke to an indigo sky weighing down on her.

Pale flakes spun through the air, but Azula could tell that they were not snow, and that the tall shadows around her were anything but trees. Only the figure in front of her was somewhat familiar.

“You promised there were no strings attached to your offer,” Azula said warily, trying not to focus on its proliferating limbs. “So why am I here?”

No response. When she tried to look away, Azula found that her gaze was trapped within the entity’s, just as it had been the first time. It was impossible to focus on anything other than its alien face, even as a prickling feeling started to spread up-

“You made choices that were very intriguing.”

That was not the answer Azula had been expecting. “What, helping to kill my own family?”

“No,” the spirit replied, “that was quite predictable. And surprisingly common.” Before Azula could even think to ask for clarification about what that meant, they continued, “But I did not anticipate your selfishness.”

“Selfishness?”

“Choosing to surrender your responsibilities.”

“That wasn’t selfishness, it was an attempt to make progress!” An attempt that had at least partially succeeded, from what she knew - but it was no longer her responsibility. “The Fire Nation’s system of government needed to change, and I was the one to do it.”

Silence. Clearly they knew she was not saying everything.

“And it was… personally motivated.”

“You see selfishness as an inherently negative quality,” the crab spirit began - was it still talking to her? Or was it lecturing her about her own decisions? “At its core, it stems from self-preservation. Something that you lacked when you accepted my offer, or else you would never have chosen it.”

That made a lot of sense. Azula had been concerned about herself - well, herself and Hama - much more than she had been about the Fire Nation. After her first visit-

She was getting distracted. 

“What do you want from me?”

Absolutely nothing about the crab’s expression or tone changed, but Azula got the sense that it was disappointed. “Nothing I do not already have.”

“I assume you won’t tell me what that means.” Of course not - that was wishful thinking. “Fine.”

“You may understand, eventually.”

As she watched, the entity’s form began to smear like wet ink, bladed chitin arms melting into waves. If she had to guess, this probably meant it was leaving - and she would be, with it.

There was one more thing she wanted to say. “Thank you-” 

Suddenly she was awake, like breaking above the surface of a vast ocean. Her limbs jolted, and one arm prodded warm skin.

Before she could retract her elbow, Hama woke up. “Azula?” she mumbled, turning over under the furs. “Why?”

“Crabs.”

“Oh. Them.” Blinking sleepily a few times, Hama moved closer to her. The tingling across her skin began to subside, and warmth returned to her fingers. “Can we talk about it in the morning?”

That was exactly what I wanted in the first place.

Azula obliged, and adjusted herself so she fit next to her lover. “Of course.”

Then they went back to sleep, content.