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Chapter Text

Robin Webster felt a tap on their shoulder. Looking up, they saw Drew, sporting his mischievous smile.

“Take a look at this nutcase!” Drew offered a pamphlet.

Robin turned away from their work on a local coffee union and took the paper. The front proclaimed the pamphlet to be distributed by a group called The Tribulation Force. The title declared “The End Times Have Begun!!!” An accompanying picture showed robed people in clouds with the statue of Christ the Redeemer badly edited into the background.

“I’ve seen dozens of versions of these for decades”, Robin said, handing it back.

“Oh ho ho! But it get’s worse! You didn’t even read the inside!” Drew said, almost giddy. “I’ll read some of my favorite parts. You’ve got to hear this!”

“Honestly, I’ve probably heard it all before.” Robin sighed,

“No, I’m sure some of this is new. Listen.” Drew pinched his nose to change his voice. “The United Nations is moving forward with its plans to create a New World Order. This plan was publicly announced by Romanian President Nicolae Carpathia, who will lead the New World Order as the AntiChrist! All world powers have already given up all authority to Supreme Potentate Nicolae Carpathia. Joining the Tribulation Force is the only way to avoid the Mark of the Beast!”

Drew released his nose. “What do you think?”

“Okay, the whole “the antichrist is the Romanian President” is new. I’ve never known rapture enthusiasts to care about Romania.”

“Maybe they chose it because it is the home of Dracula? He switched to a generic European accent. “They vant people to think the antichrist sucks blood!” Drew hypothesized, using his hoodie as a makeshift cape.

Robin shrugged. “Sounds like regular xenophobia to me. The Romanians have a history of people hating them. Typically, other Europeans though. It is a bit strange to see this in Southern American rapture literature.”

Drew plopped into a chair. “Southern American rapture literature,” he mocked, “You make it sound so academic. These people are nutty! And you don’t know where they’re from.”

Robin took the pamphlet and pointed to the back. “It says if you want to join to write to an address in Georgia”.  

Drew scrunched his nose. “You can only join by snail mail? You’d think they’d at least have a shitty website.”

“Yeah, you’d think.” Robin murmured, turning back to their work.

“Well, I thought you’d enjoy a break and something ridiculous. I gotta get back to sports.”

“Okay,” Robin replied, turning back to their work. But their concentration wavered.

After spending their childhood in a southern doomsday church, Robin knew that recruitment was popular. Drew was right. It was odd that no website was listed. Soon, they found themselves pulled from their work, scouring the internet for the Tribulation Force. They did find a website. It was filled with all the pseudo-biblical end of days nonsense Robin remembered hearing from the church pews.

The real FBI missing person posters were new though.

Chapter Text

Robin actually double-checked the missing persons posters. First by clicking the link provided by the Tribulation Force website (which they belatedly realized was not smart). Then by manually searching for the FBI missing person webpage.

“The Rapture has happened!!!!!!!” proclaimed the Tribulation website as Robin scrolled. When they hit the bottom of the page, the text claimed many more remained unreported and provided a hyperlink with “proof”. Against their better judgement, Robin clicked the link, hoping it didn’t fill their aging laptop with viruses. Instead, the link opened to the Tribulation Force blog. The author claimed the FBI didn’t reveal all the missing persons reports it received. The FBI was working with the “AntiChrist”, Supreme Potentate Nicolae Carpathia, to coverup the “fact” the rapture already happened.

Robin was surprised. They were taught pseudo-bibical rapture ideas from the crib. But they had never heard anyone claim that rapture already happened. The “government coverup” sounded like article headlines Robin had seen about the conspiracy group QAnon. Robin wondered if Tribulation was a branch of the group. They chided themselves neglecting to read the articles.

Robin idly scrolled through the blog posts. One post claimed the United Nations was now know as “the Global Community”. A commenter joked that they would only use the name “the artist formerly known as the United Nations”. Another blog post claimed all of Chicago had been destroyed by bombs at the beginning of World War Three. The post was date two years ago. Robin scrolled to the comments section. One commenter named xtian-noob-pwner, pointed out that Chicago was clearly fine. The blog author claimed that was a fake Chicago built in Indianapolis. That was part of the rapture coverup. Another commenter mentioned Google Earth still showed Chicago was located in Chicago. The blogger claimed Google was also part of the rapture coverup. Other coverup coconspirators were all news and media outlets, all public education, all militaries, and governments at all levels.

The US President was supposedly named a regular Potentate. The blog had no definition for what a Potentate was or what their duties might be. Robin wondered if the difference between a regular Potentate and a Supreme Potentate was the addition of sour cream and tomatoes. They chuckled at the thought. A quick internet search showed that a Potentate was a monarch of absolute power.

Robin thought about leaving a comment. It was tempting to ask what the practical difference between a Potentate and Supreme Potentate was. They wanted to point out that the amount of people covering up the supposed rapture outweighed the number of people supposedly deceived. What was the point of covering up the rapture if the total number of people in the coverup included most of the earth’s population?

Robin shook their head. They imagined reading all this nonsense was not good for the brain. They returned to writing about the local coffee union. Their brain seemed to relax. Reality was less taxing than those delusions.

But the Tribulation Force bothered Robin. If that pamphlet had reached her small office in New England, the blog could reach into even further corners of the internet.

And Robin could think of more than a few politicians that would benefit.