Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The pool party had been Chrissy’s idea. Well. That was overstating it a bit. More like, one day while Billy and Chrissy were smoking in Billy’s room, summer heat making it too hot to go outside and do anything, Chrissy said something like ‘wouldn’t it be fun if we had some people at the pool before you had to turn in your key?’

And the rest kind of just happened. Billy didn’t really care who came, hadn’t really spent much time with people after the summer of ‘85, but he adored Chrissy and knew she wouldn’t do anything too crazy. He told Max about it, said she could invite her nerd friends, and that’s how he ended up here.

A few people ended up being quite a lot, if only because Max had more friends than Billy gave her credit for. And with her friends came Steve Harrington, who brought along his best friend Robin Buckley. Chrissy made sure her hair looked extra cute, applying her blue eyeshadow and lip gloss despite Billy pointing out that it would just melt in the summer heat. He also knew that Robin wouldn’t care if Chrissy was wearing a paper bag over her head, but hell. Who was he to judge them for their stupid behavior?

And out of nowhere comes a van blasting Iron Maiden, and that’s how BIlly found out that Chrissy also invited the hellfire club, and therefore, Eddie Munson.
Now Billy understood what this whole thing was. It was a trap.

Which is how Billy ended up here, Chrissy sitting beside him talking to Robin while Steve and Eddie threw Dustin into the pool. He glowered at them, at all of it, angry that he had let himself be tricked.

“I can’t believe you did this to me.” Billy said out loud, and Chrissy looked over, rolling her eyes.

“Oh come on Billy, every time you get high all you can talk about is how cool he is, how pretty his eyes are, that you think he’s so brave for being who he wants to be despite the fact that you literally bullied him last year.”

“I’ve changed. And I barely bullied him.”

Robin snorted into her rum and coke, and Chrissy giggled, a hand on her knee. BIlly smirked at just how red Robins face got at the contact.

“Looks like I'm not the only person you were trying to set up.” Billy commented, and Chrissy snatched her hand away.

“No, no. You lovebirds carry on. I’ll find something else to occupy myself with.” Billy said as he stood up, looking for something else to do.

~
He wandered around for a few minutes, looking for some of the other guys. Steve and Tommy sat nearby, which felt weird, because Billy had felt sure that Steve and Tommy didn’t speak anymore. But there was some other guy, Billy thinks his name is Gareth? Him and Tommy were leaning on each other, laughing and sharing a beer between them. Billy had to smile, because it was nice that they all felt comfortable here. Billy hadn’t thought he would get to be in a place where he could say that, but then he met Chrissy and got closer to Max and farther away from Neil. Now he could breathe without the crush of it all. He didn’t even shove Lucas and Max, who were kissing near the edge of the pool, into the water.

It was a great day. But there was something missing. Some voice in the clamor that was absent, a hole where it would usually be.
Eddie. Billy looked around, because he had hoped the two of them could talk? Had hoped that maybe Eddie had brought some weed and they could get high together like they did every now and again. He found Dustin splashing in the pool with some of the other kids. He recognized El, and kneeled down to talk to them. El smiled at him, a small private thing, and he reached out and ruffled her hair gently. Mike glared at him and Billy made sure not to laugh. Another kid, Will, Billy thinks his name is, isn’t so kind, snorting under his breath. Mike turned to him and then they went tumbling under the water. If Billy was on duty, he would have shouted at them for horseplay. As it was, Billy was off for the season.

“Have you seen Eddie?”

Dustin squinted up at him, but El just shrugged and pointed away from the pool.

“He went that way. Said he wasn’t feeling great.”

When he followed the direction she was pointing it led straight to the locker room. Billy frowned at the part about him not feeling good, but stood up with a groan and nodded.

“Thanks El.” He said earnestly as he walked away.

Billy walked into the locker room and found Eddie laying on the bench with his arm slung over his eyes. His shirt had ridden up, a sliver of pale skin marked with what looked to be the start of a spider web tattoo peeking out from the side of his hip. Billy wondered briefly how far up the tattoo went. If it spanned his entire back, if there was a spider in it, if there was a bug caught in the web. Would it be weird, too revealing, to ask to see the whole thing? Would it give him up, to ask Eddie to take off his shirt so that Billy could see the whole design? Would Billy care, at this point, if it did?

It took a minute for Billy’s eyes to fully adjust. The only light was coming in through the frosted windows high up in the room, dim at best. Eddie had sat up, still clutching his head, and looked at Billy with wide eyes.

“What the fuck?” He said, groaning at the sound of his own voice. Billy slowly approached him, sitting on the bench next to him.

“Are you okay man?” Billy asked, careful to keep his voice soft. Eddie still flinched. Billy reached up and felt the other guy's forehead. He was warm and a little clammy. Paired with his reaction to just the softest sounds, Billy wagered he was overheating, and no wonder, with the other boy wearing long dark jeans and his vest over a long sleeved shirt.

“Eddie, you need to cool off, you’re overheating.”

“I’m fine.”

“Eddie, man, look. Just, cool off. Have a shower, it’ll help. I’ll be right here.”

“Undress in front of you? Absolutely fucking not. Do I look stupid? Why do you think I avoided gym class?”

That one stung, because what did Eddie think Billy was going to do? What would Billy do that was so bad that Eddie would rather keep being in pain than take off his clothes. He thought they were friends. He thought maybe they could be something more, if he could stop hiding how he felt.

“You need to cool off.”

“I’ll be fine. Why do you even care? I’m only here because of the kids, you didn’t even invite me.”

Billy huffed, not in the mood to deal with Eddie being this dramatic when he was halfway to heat stroke.

“Eddie, get up. I didn’t invite anyone, Chrissy set this thing up. You need to cool down.”

Billy didn’t wait for Eddie to reply. The other boy was sweating now, but he was also shivering, and gave almost no resistance when Billy pulled off his vest and laid it on the bench with care. The rest of his clothes he pulled off with far less attention, pulling Eddie towards the showers and turning the water on so that it was just warm enough to not sting.

He got to see the spider tattoo. It spanned much of the bottom half of Eddie’s back. Eddie curled in on himself and faced away from Billy.

“Please just leave me here.”

“I can’t let you pass out.”

“I’m fine. This happens all the time.”

That didn’t make Billy feel any better. “Are you sick, maybe you’re sick or something?”

“Christ Billy.” Eddie turned around and faced him, his hair wet and sticking to his face. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong and I can’t afford to go to the doctor. So, unless I end up in the hospital, I’ll be fine.”

Billy swallowed. Eddie was skinny, his ribs exposed just a little, shadows on his torso. He had a little muscle, in a wiry way, but there was probably little fat on his bones. His hip bones were prominent, and his collarbones a sharp point on his chest.

“Stop fucking staring at me. I know how I look.”

“What?”

“I’m too fucking skinny, it’s gross, I know. Leave me alone.”

Billy hadn’t been thinking that at all. He had thinking that Eddie looked sharp, like a blade that Billy would cut himself on. That Eddie was all edge on the outside, and it was how Billy felt inside. All sharp and hard, not a soft place to be found. Maybe Eddie was his opposite. Maybe beneath the exterior he would be soft and comfortable where Billy had hard edges.

“You aren’t gross.” Billy said quietly, but wasn’t sure if Eddie heard it over the rush of water around him. He had turned back around, placing his head against the tile wall. Billy had the almost uncontrollable desire to place his hand on the space between his shoulder blades, the blades themselves looking like they could sprout wings.

“Can you get my clothes?” Eddie said, just loud enough to be heard.

“Are you going to be okay?” Billy asked, tentatively placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie shrugged and nodded, and Billy awkwardly patted his shoulder once and walked back into the main locker room where they had been.

Eddie’s clothes were gone. The entire pile was missing. For a moment he thought maybe he was just looking in the wrong place, but after looking around, and even rummaging in a few lockers, he realized that they were just genuinely missing. Billy rubbed his hands on his face roughly and got some of his extra clothing from his locker, taking them back to Eddie.

Eddie was standing in the middle of the shower, water off with a towel wrapped around him. BIlly handed him the pile of clothes sheepishly.

“One of the dudes must have taken your clothes. I’m sorry.”

Eddie looked up slowly, his expression some mix of hurt and anger.

“One of the dudes huh? Not you, being a dick? Not you, trying to mock me by giving me clothes you know damn well wont fit?”

“It has a drawstring…” Billy said, but he realized that it looked bad. He held the pile up a little higher and Eddie snatched them from his hand, letting the towel drop and quickly dressing. Billy pointedly looked at the wall behind him. Eddie turned as if he wanted to say something to Billy, but then he just closed his mouth and shook his head, walking away from him. The door to the locker room opened and slammed closed, leaving Billy standing in the dark wondering what the hell had just happened.

~
He only stood there for a few minutes before he too burst out of the locker room, going straight for the party. Some of the younger teens had gone home, to do chores or whatever else, but at least half of the people were still there. Steve was missing, but Max and El were still playing in the pool. Robin was laying on a beach towel with Chrissy’s little beach hat laying over her face. Gareth and Tommy sat near the deep end, feet in the water, laughing to each other.
bingo

Billy marched over to Tommy and Gareth and quickly shoved them both in the water, not giving them the chance to so much as take a breath. He was a lifeguard. He could keep them from drowning if he needed to.

When they finally surfaced, Gareth spitting like an angry cat and Tommy laughing a bit, his usually spiky hair a little deflated, Billy crossed his arms and looked down at them.

“Which one of you fucks took Eddie’s clothes?” He asked, and they looked at each other.

“Did it not go well for you?” Gareth asked. Just as Tommy said, “Did he turn you down or something? That can’t be it.”

Billy groaned, “Where are they?”

“Under my towel. Shit, is he pissed off?” Gareth asked, paddling over to the ladder and climbing out.

“He was sick and you stole his clothes, you asshole.” Billy replied as he walked over and snatched the towel off of the pile, tossing it into the water. Gareth shouted, but Billy just looked back at him, and whatever look was on his face, it shut him up.

“Is he okay?” Tommy asked, pulling himself out of the pool.

“I don’t fucking know Tommy. He left because he thought I was in on you stupid little prank.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh. Idiot.”

Billy looked around, but didn’t see Eddie, and he still didn’t see Chrissy. He sighed and walked back into the locker room to get one of the spare bags, so that he could maybe take Eddie’s clothes back to him. But when he got in there all he could think about was how hurt Eddie had looked when he thought that Billy had done it on purpose, and he sat down on the bench, folding up Eddie’s clothes neatly and sitting beside them. After a while he picked up Eddie’s vest, smoothing his fingers over the rough stitching on the back patch. His necklace and rings were in a pocket on the inside, sharp and a little heavy in Billy’s hands.

He should go after him, maybe. Should try to explain that it was just a dumb joke, a ploy to get them alone. Tommy Hagans dumb ass version of 7 minutes in heaven. He sat there for a long time, even when he heard Robin knocking on the door asking him where Chrissy went, even when Steve swung by and asked him if he was alright. He was fine, he told them, and fuck off for good measure. He had almost convinced himself to go to Eddie’s house, to apologize and at least give him his things back, when the door burst open.

Eddie walked over and sat beside him, close enough that their legs touched, close enough that Billy could smell the deodorant he must have just put on. His face still looked a little pinched, but he wasn’t pale or shaking anymore.

“Are you okay?” Billy asked, looking at him. Eddie shrugged.

“I still have the edge of a migraine. It’ll hit later. Wanted to talk to you before I left.”

“Yeah?”

“Well. Chrissy stopped me from leaving. And told me that no one hurts her best friend, and how dare I think that you would be nice to me as a joke.”

Billy chuckled at Eddie’s fairly spot-on impression of Chrissy. He could see her, all puffed up and angry like a kitten that had gotten wet.

“So. What about it?”

“Hargrove. Do you like me?”

“Yeah. We’re friends.” Billy replied, looking at the floor, at his hands, at anything but Eddie sitting beside him. But Eddie nudged him with his leg and leaned a little closer.

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Eddie…”

“Billy.”

“Don’t make me say it you fuck.”

“But I want to hear you say it.”

“Yes, I like you. Alright? I have for a while I just didn’t know what the fuck to do about it.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, and Billy was terrified to look up and see his expression. But eventually the silence got to be too much and he did look up at Eddie.

“There you are.” Eddie whispered, and then he pressed his forehead to Billy’s, hair damp on his skin. “I didn’t think I was right. I thought it was wishful thinking, or me imagining shit when I was high.”

Billy shook his head no and Eddie laughed softly, pushing his fingers into the hair on the nape of Billy’s neck. His hands were freezing despite the summer heat. It felt good on Billy’s skin.

“What now?” Billy whispered.

Eddie pulled his head away from Billy’s. Billy kept his eyes closed, still afraid to face a world that knew he was into guys more than he was into girls.

Eddie started with his forehead, pressing a soft kiss to the crease of Billy’s brow. Next was Billy’s eyelids, then each of his cheek bones. His jaw, the tip of his nose, until Billy was laughing softly. When Eddie finally kissed Billy for real, their lips pressed together, closed mouthed and sweet, Billy let out a breath and leaned into it. Eddie pulled away quickly, covering his grinning mouth with his hair.

“Now we get to be as disgusting as Tommy and Gareth out there.”
Billy couldn’t stop his laugh from bubbling up out of him. “They are pretty gross.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Yeah well…”

Eddie and Billy looked at each other and laughed again.

Outside, Tommy and Gareth nodded to each other and then bumped fists before sharing a kiss.

Chapter Text

  Eddie didn’t know why he was here.

  He knew what led to him being here, which was Chrissy Cunningham walking into the Hellfire Club one afternoon and asking everyone in the room if they wanted to come to a pool party that weekend. Apparently with the end of summer, Billy would have to give up his pool key until next year, and they wanted to throw a party before that happened.

  Why we had been invited was a mystery. Eddie thinks it might be because Dustin was friends with Billy’s younger sister's boyfriend. Sure sometimes he hung out with Billy, they would get high together sometimes. In those moments when Billy was at his most relaxed there was something there, some hint of affection, but then it would vanish until the next time they were alone.

  He didn’t keep up with all that. Just tried to keep his head down for the most part. He had graduated finally, and didn’t want to get any shit for still hanging out around the school. Maybe soon they would find a new place for the Hellfire Club. Until then, sneaking into windows it was.

  So they all piled into Eddie’s van and went to the pool party, because it was summer, and why would they ignore it when sweet Chrissy asked them to come to their little party.

  Eddie didn’t know why he was there because he didn’t like the heat. Hated it, actually. He didn’t like the cold either, but the heat was especially bad. He had a hard time controlling his own body temperature, and that meant that summers meant sweating and feeling faint anytime he went outside, and then cold sweats and shivering the minute he walked into a building. He had taken to wearing his jacket all the time, just in case.

  Today though, the heat was being especially unkind to him. He woke up that morning feeling fuzzy, and despite eating and drinking a cup of water and even taking a shower, by the time went to go get everyone for the party, he still felt faint, his eyes hurting and his head pounding in time with the music.

  He was determined to try to have a good time. He didn’t swim, just sat on the edge of the pool, talking to Gareth and his boyfriend, the ever confusing Tommy Hagen.

  Confusing because didn’t Tommy used to make fun of Eddie for everything that he thought was cute about Gareth? Confusing because of all the boys for his best friend to end up with it had to be one of Steve Harrington's best friends? One of Billy Hargroves friends? The two rival Kings of Hawkins high (Eddie could hear Dustin's voice in his head, telling him that Steve wasn’t actually like that, and actually, Robin was his best friend.)

  Whatever the case, he was trapped in a fenced in pool with a pounding headache trying not to stare at Billy Hargrove, who was placed just in his field of vision, shirt off and a tan already turning his skin gold.
Eddie sighed and stood up to pester Dustin instead. He was hanging around the edge of the pool with Will and Steve, who despite how uncool it might have made him look, was spending more time with the younger kids than the older ones. That was probably because Robin was too busy trying to flirt with Chrissy to hang out with him properly.

  He caught Steve's eye and motioned towards Dustin, and Steve smirked, understanding immediately what Eddie was going for. In a few long strides he was over by Dustin, him and Steve each grabbing an arm and throwing the other boy into the pool. The splash was enormous and

  Dustin surfaced a few seconds later, cursing at them. Steve was laughing, but all the noise only served to make Eddie’s head hurt worse.

  So much for having fun.

  Steve must have noticed the look on his face, because he put a hand on Eddie's shoulder and looked at him with that concerned mother hen look. It would take a few more years for Eddie to get used to that.

  “You okay dude?”

  “I just get headaches when it's this hot. I’ll be fine.”

  Steve squinted at him and then nodded, motioning towards the locker room, “I get it man. Why don’t you go in there? It’s darker, and it’ll probably be cooler too?”

  Eddie nodded, the motion painful with the pulsing in his skull. Steve slapped his arm once, smiling and going over to talk to Tommy and Gareth.

  Steve was right, the locker room was cooler, and the darkness after the hours spent outside in the glaring sun was both disorienting and lovely. Eddie stumbled in the dark, a wave of dizziness hitting him, and he cursed quietly before walking over to the bench and slowly lowering himself on to it.

  Luckily the metal bench wasn’t too hot, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable against Eddie’s back. His vest fell open, a few pins on it clanging against the metal and making Eddie wince. After a few moments the dizziness subsided and he was able to focus on just the headache again, and the faint sounds of the people outside shouting and laughing. Finally he could breathe a little easier. As long as he didn’t move, he might be okay.

  The sounds of the pool party got louder for a moment and then the sound of the door closing had Eddie sitting up and closing his eyes against the wave of pain that hit him as he did. He felt faintly damp from sweat and wanted to be mad about it but he knew the risk when he wore all the long clothes. But he had been cold that morning at his house and didn’t think to dress for the weather outside.

  Billy was standing there, looking at him like he was trying to solve some kind of puzzle, or maybe he just couldn’t see because of the dark.

  “What the fuck?” Eddie said, immediately regretting how loud his own voice was. Billy snapped out of whatever trance he had seemed to be in and was walking over to Eddie, sitting down beside him slowly.

  “Are you okay man?” Billy asked, in a soft voice, but Eddie’s headache was so bad even that hurt. Billy reached up and put a hand on his forehead and he felt cool somehow, despite the fact that he had been outside. His hand lingered there a few seconds before he pulled away.

  “Eddie, you need to cool off, you’re overheating.”

  Eddie knew that but he didn’t really have a good solution right now so he did what he always did when people were concerned about his health in some way. He shrugged and tried to play it off.
“

  I’m fine.”

  “Eddie, man, look. Just, cool off. Have a shower, it’ll help. I’ll be right here.”

  Eddie snorted out loud, because he was not about to get naked in front of Billy Hargrove, local adonis. He would rather suffer the heat than have to look down at himself and then at Billy and compare the two. Or worse, have Billy look at him with pity or disgust. He didn’t have quite enough tattoos yet to make him proud of his bare skin, and until then he would stay covered.

  “Undress in front of you? Absolutely fucking not. Do I look stupid? Why do you think I avoided gym class?”

  “You need to cool off.” Billy said again, as if the repetition would change anything. Eddie rolled his eyes.
“

  I’ll be fine. Why do you even care? I’m only here because of the kids, you didn’t even invite me.”

  Eddie felt bad for that immediately, because that wasn’t exactly fair. Billy and him were friends, sort of. They hung out. They got high together and laughed and listened to music. But his head hurt so bad he didn’t think about it before lashing out. He wished he had, because when he looked at Billy he looked visibly hurt by the statement. Before Eddie could say he was sorry or explain, Billy was standing up and grabbing Eddie, pulling him up and off the bench.

  “Eddie, get up. I didn’t invite anyone, Chrissy set this thing up. You need to cool down.”

  That did make sense, because Chrissy had been the one to invite them all. He was still on the cusp of apologizing when Billy took off his vest, folding it gently and putting it on the bench. Eddie was so shocked that Billy was undressing him*that he didn’t even fight it. Just let Billy pull off the rest of his clothes and pull him to the locker room showers, naked as the day he was born.

  Billy adjusted the water and then gently pushed Eddie into it, and Eddie didn’t want to admit that the water felt nice. He wanted to sit on the ground and rest, let the water run over his skin, but he didn’t want to do that while Billy was watching him. He didn’t want Billy to see him that small.

  “Please just leave me here.”

  “I can’t let you pass out.” Billy said from behind him. Eddie waved his hand in an attempt to be dismissive of his concern, even though Eddie did feel as if he could pass out.

  “I’m fine. This happens all the time.”

  “Are you sick, maybe you’re sick or something?”

  He sounded so concerned, and Eddie squared his shoulders before turning around and facing him. He hated when people started trying to tell him what to do about his health when he didn’t even know what was wrong.

  “Christ Billy. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong and I can’t afford to go to the doctor. So, unless I end up in the hospital, I’ll be fine.”

  Billy didn’t reply, too busy staring at Eddie to say anything. Eddie couldn’t figure out the look on his face but he didn’t dare imagine that it was good. He knew what he looked like, all sharp bones and skinny arms and legs.

  “Stop fucking staring at me. I know how I look.”

  “What?” Billy shook his head a little, looking right into Eddie’s eyes. The confusion on his face was genuine, and Eddie was annoyed by the way it confused him, making him think that maybe Billy hadn’t been looking at him in a negative way. He turned around so that he didn’t have to look into Billy’s eyes anymore and leaned his head against the wall.

  “I’m too fucking skinny, it’s gross, I know. Leave me alone.”

  “You aren’t gross.” Billy said. Eddie wasn’t sure he was meant to hear it, but he couldn’t contain the small smile that formed on his face, or the way that the idea that Billy had seen him naked and stated he wasn’t gross had for a moment overcome the pain of Eddie’s headache.

  “Can you get my clothes?” Eddie asked, wanting a moment to stop the blush that had spread across his face before he had to face Billy again. He didn’t know how far he could push it, and didn't want to give himself away.

  “Are you going to be okay?” Billy asked. He had placed his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, his fingers grazing his collarbone. Eddie could feel the ring on Billy’s finger, the metal hard against his skin where Billy’s hands were soft. Eddie swallowed and nodded. Billy patted his shoulder once, as if they were old pals, and they walked away.

  Eddie sat under the spray of the water for a little while longer before turning it off. The silence echoed around him in the absence of it, and in the other room he thinks he can hear the sounds of the lockers opening and closing. There's a towel slung over the wall nearby and he grabs it, wrapping it around his torso and waist and waiting awkwardly for Billy to come back with his clothes. But when he came back it wasn’t Eddie’s familiar vest and dark jeans he was carrying. It was a pile of what looked like gym clothes, and white tank top and red shorts. Eddie was about to ask what happened, and why Billy was handing him a pile of what had to be his clothes? Where did his things go?

  “One of the dudes must have taken your clothes. I’m sorry.”

  Eddie didn’t even want to look at Billy. He felt sick, knowing that while he was in the shower thinking that maybe Billy and him could be something more, thinking that maybe the signals that Eddie thought he got when they were high weren’t just Billy being overly familiar when intoxicated, Billy was hiding his clothes. A prank. His concern had been a prank.

  “One of the dudes huh? Not you, being a dick? Not you, trying to mock me by giving me clothes you know damn well wont fit?”

  “It has a drawstring…” Billy said, and he at least had the decency to look sorry. He held the pile up a little higher and Eddie snatched them from his hand, letting the towel drop and quickly dressing, not worried about whether or not Billy saw at this point. He didn’t even want to look at Billy, not until he at least got a few headache pills, or a joint, or a few shots of whiskey. Because as much as he liked Billy, he felt sick right now, and had to get away from him.
Eddie got dressed and walked towards the doorway, but couldn’t resist looking back at Billy one more time. He sat there where Eddie had left him, looking like a puppy that had been scolded. Eddie turned away and left before he forgave Billy right there on the spot.

*

  He was Gareth’s ride home so he couldn’t leave yet, but he didn’t have to stay at the party. He went to his van where he knew there was at least a pack of cigarettes, maybe an aspirin in the glove box. And he could stay in there and hide until he either caved and forgave Billy or Gareth was ready to leave, whichever came first. It was hot in the van, even with the windows down, and he knew that if he stayed in here too long he was bound to feel worse, but the idea of going back in the locker room, or of having to explain to the group why he was wearing Billy’s clothes sounded like a worse deal.

  He had smoked two cigarettes and dry swallowed an aspirin when the door to the van swung open and Eddie breathed a sigh of relief at the ability to leave. But when he turned it wasn’t Gareth sitting in his passenger's seat. It was Chrissy. She handed him a bottle of cold water, it was already dripping condensation on Eddie's bare leg. He drank about half of it in one go, because he was terrible at drinking water when he felt this bad, and then looked at Chrissy, waiting for her to say something.

  “What the fuck Eddie?”

  “What the fuck do you mean?”

  “Why would you think that Billy did it? It was Gareth and Tommy. They thought it might make you two actually talk to each other about your stupid crushes but instead you storm out of here and start chain smoking in your van?”

  Eddie blinked, staring at her sitting there in the passenger's seat with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked mad.

  “How do you even know all this?”

  “Because I was heading over to check on you because I was worried, and then Billy stormed out of the locker room and started yelling at them. How could you think that Billy would do that to you? You guys are friends!”

  “Are we?”

  “Christ Eddie, yes. You didn’t see the look on Billy’s face when he came out of that locker room. You better go and at least apologize for storming off on him. Because he looked crushed, and no one hurts my friends like that. Not even the dude he likes.”

  Chrissy opened the door to the van and left, not letting Eddie say anything in response, and he was sort of glad for it. Because what on earth could he say?

  Billy liked him. Billy Hargrove did have a crush on him. The weird moments they always had when they got high together weren’t just him imagining things or not understanding some kind of weird bro behavior.

  Eddie drank the rest of the water in small sips while he thought about that. He put new context on the way Billy was staring at him in the locker room, the whispered words ‘you aren’t gross’. The concern on his face when he first sat down with him. And the more he thought about it the more he felt like kind of an ass.

  Billy was just being nice. Taking care of him when he felt like shit, and he rewarded him by cursing at him and calling him names. Eddie sighed, crushing the water bottle and throwing it behind him into the back of the van and getting back out, taking a deep breath before walking back to the party.

  He thought that Billy would be out with the rest of the group, but Eddie found him in the locker room, sitting on the same bench that Billy found him on in the first place. He held Eddie’s vest in his hands, was looking down at it and running his fingers along the edges of the back patch where the stitching was a little rough. Eddie walked over and sat beside him, close enough that their legs touched. Billy looked up at him but didn’t move or say anything about the closeness.

  “Are you okay?” He asked, and now Eddie could hear all the genuine concern in his voice. Eddie shrugged.

  “I still have the edge of a migraine. It’ll hit later. Wanted to talk to you before I left.”

  Billy looked a little hopeful. “Yeah?”

  “Well. Chrissy stopped me from leaving. And told me that no one hurts her best friend, and how dare I think that you would be nice to me as a joke.”

  He was paraphrasing, but Billy smiled at the little voice he had put on that was supposed to be Chrissy. Eddie was stalling, he came in here all confident that he was going to tell Billy he liked him too, but looking at Billy he was terrified to do it.

  “So. What about it?”

  bite the bullet Eddie. “Hargrove. Do you like me?”

  “Yeah. We’re friends.” Billy replied, a blush spreading across his nose. He looked down at his hands, his breath a little more shallow. Eddie nudged him with his knee.

  “You know that’s not what I mean.”

  “Eddie…” Billy said, his voice a bit like a warning.

  “Billy.” Eddie replied, and he knew he sounded way too happy but he couldn’t help himself. Billy groaned.

  “Don’t make me say it you fuck.”

  “But I want to hear you say it.” Eddie needed him to say it. Needed to hear the words from his mouth. Billy bit his lip and then closed his eyes, shoulders sagging as he gave in.

  “Yes, I like you. Alright? I have for a while I just didn’t know what the fuck to do about it.”

  Eddie watched as Billy nervously sat there messing with his vest, as if it comforted him, and waited for Billy to look at him. He didn’t want to push him, or do anything that would fuck this up. But after a moment Billy looked up, looking shy. Eddie smiled.

  “There you are.” Eddie whispered, and then he pressed his forehead to Billy’s, hair damp and sticking to their skin. He felt Billy’s relieved exhale on his lips.

  “I didn’t think I was right. I thought it was wishful thinking, or me imagining shit when I was high.”

  Billy shook his head no and Eddie laughed softly, happy. He put his hand on the back of Billy’s neck and ran his fingers into his hair. It was a little damp from sweat, the curls falling a little.

  “What now?” Billy whispered.

  Eddie pulled his head away from Billy’s. His eyes were still closed, a crease between his brow from worry. Eddie kissed it, wanting to smooth it away, because he didn’t want Billy to worry. He kissed each of his closed eyelids, the tip of his slightly sunburnt nose, his cheeks and jawline, scratchy from not having shaved. He was stalling, because he hadn’t kissed many people in his life, probably not as many as Billy, and didn’t want to be disappointing. But he also wasn’t about to miss the opportunity to kiss Billy Hargrove, so finally, he pressed his lips to his.
Billy sighed and leaned into it, pressing back and turning so that the angle was a little better, a little deeper. Eddie pulled away, grabbing a piece of his hair to hide the stupid lovestruck smile that had to be on his face.

  “What now?” Billy asked after a few moments, when he finally opened his eyes and looked at Eddie. Eddie didn’t flinch away from the intimacy of it this time.

  “Now we get to be as disgusting as Tommy and Gareth out there.”

  Billy laughed, bright and happy. Eddie was glad that he could pull that laugh out of him.

  “They are pretty gross.” Billy admitted. Eddie shrugged.

  “I don’t get it.” He said, but he did. Because here he was with Billy, and wasn’t that the same?

  “Yeah well…” Billy said, shrugging. Eddie wondered if he was thinking the same thing. After a moment they both started laughing, leaning on each other a little.

  “I’m keeping these clothes.” Eddie said to him after the laughter died down. Billy grinned.

  “Good. I like you in my clothes.”

  Eddie’s heart skipped a beat, a little painfully, and he thought that maybe Billy would kill him. But what a way to go.

*

  Outside by the pool Chrissy watched as Tommy and Gareth gave each other a celebratory kiss. She smiled, because that must mean that they overheard good things from inside the locker room. She looked at Robin, freckles dotted across her cheeks and hair a little blonder in the sunlight, and decided that if everyone else got a kiss, she wanted one too.

  “Hey Robin?”

  Robin turned to her, hair brushing along her jaw as she did.

  “Yeah?” She replied. She sounded a little nervous, but then, she always did. Chrissy slowly put her hand on her cheek and then pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to Robin's chapped lips. Robin didn’t really respond at first, and Chrissy pulled back to see that Robin had turned bright red. After a moment she looked at Chrissy with wide eyes.

  “Can we try that again?” Robin asked, and Chrissy grinned, leaning closer.

  “As many times as you want babe.”