Archive of Our Own ^beta

It had taken Cody far too long to find his way back to his brothers after abandoning the army and it happened largely by chance.

There had been years of running. A life of structure and purpose had turned to chaos and subsistence. Picking up odd jobs to pay for food and lodging and to try and keep his skills sharp. Eventually he had bought, and taken to living aboard, a small ship. This allowed him to keep on the move, never staying in one place too long. Looking back later he would wonder if he was truly running from the Empire, or from the things he had done for them. From Utapau.

Years had passed when fate brought him back to his brothers. A low level security job, he’d taken without asking too many questions. He was patrolling a cargo vessel, docked and waiting to ship who knows what to ports unknown. The infiltration team tripped a silent alarm. Cody was assessing what to do next, after all he wasn’t getting nearly enough credits to take on a team of four. But as he watched them proceed through the ship, he could easily recognise their movements. Their battle sign, the roles that each team member had taken on, were familiar to him. He couldn’t see their faces but at least two were still wearing their old clone armour helmets and leading the group…was a helmet with blue markings, a pair of Jaig eyes Cody would know anywhere.

Cody had abandoned the guard job he was getting paid a pittance for and followed his brothers. The re-union had been joyous, Cody had spoken more than he had in years and Rex was there, alive and well.

Only after a few hours had things become suddenly tense. After the initial drinking and merriment had turned to slightly more maudlin, leading to a discussion of the end of the war. Cody struggled to form the words around Utapau, something he had avoided thinking about as best he could, but still haunted his dreams.

“I…gave the order and…the shot was fired, he fell, I can still hear that veractyl’s scream, we went on to clear the upper levels, we couldn’t find his bo…him… and I had to report in. I felt…I did what I had…it’s confusing but you know how it is…good soldiers follow orders.”

Before the last sentence was even out of his mouth the collective horror was spreading over his brothers faces. Cody assumed it was judgement for the monstrous thing he had done, that he now accepted in his bones had been wrong. But surely they all understood? They had been there they had all known they had no choice. What had happened was wrong but there was concrete certainty that nothing else could have happened. They were all struggling to live with the things they had chosen to do, Cody more than most. But as he brothers drew back from him and some got to their feet he could sense that this was something else.

“Cody did you ever get it removed?” the question came from Rex, warily approaching him from the side.

“Get what removed, what are you talking about?”

Rex looked stunned.

“Oh boy, Cody you and I need to take a trip, what’s the range on that little ship of yours?”

—-

Rex had taken Cody to Alderaan, to a quiet medical facility outside of the major cities. They arrived under cover of darkness. Cody had been sedated still not fully knowing what was going on, only that Rex and his brothers said it was essential, dangerous for him to go with whatever this was untreated.

When he awoke from the surgery his certainty about Utapau was gone.

Why had he followed those orders? How had he ever imagined they could be right? His Obi-Wan was no traitor, he should have given that karking chancellor a piece of his mind for even the suggestion…but no. There was no real suggestion they had been traitors “the time has come.” Is what the evil wizened old man had said. This had been his plan all along. And these chips… these evil things in their heads, that bastard had known, known he could make them do it. He had turned them into the droids they had always insisted they were not, and then left them to deal with having killed innocent people. People they respected, fought beside.
People they loved.

Cody was broken from his reverie by Rex re-entering the room with a cloaked figure at his side, he was speaking in hushed tones, “I’m sorry to bring him here but our regular medical facility was compromised a month ago and we’re still looking for a replacement, the ships on Brakka are long gone.”

“its quite alright, this centre is far enough out of the way and I am glad you’ve found another of your brothers especially this brother.”

Cody recognised that cultured measured voice “Senator Organa, its good to see you again, it’s been a long time. Thank you for helping Rex and I.”

Removing his hood the senator looked Cody over, “Its quite alright I am happy to help, I…had been looking for you after the end of the war but you were listed as killed on Desix, I see now the empire was simply covering up the desertion of such a notable officer.”

Even all these years later the flash of shame Cody felt warred with his anger following the revelations surrounding the chip.

“I left, without authorisation, I couldn’t…I couldn’t follow those orders anymore.”

Senator Bail Organa considered him for a moment before speaking again, “I’m sorry about what happened to you and to your brothers, but now I’m afraid I must ask a favour of you Commander Cody.”

Rex and Cody looked equally surprised. “whatever favour you need Senator you can count on both of us to…”

“No, I only need commander Cody, it shouldn’t be dangerous but I don’t want to send two people, it’s…delicate. I have an old friend who I am concerned about, he has been living alone for a long time following the war, he lost a lot in the war and has stopped returning my comm signals, I’m worried for him. I can give you the co-ordinates of his, erm, where he has been living, I wondered if you would go check on him, so I can be certain he is all right?”

After some discussion it was agreed, Cody would go and Rex would travel back to their brothers by other means, but Cody promised to stay in regular contact. After a day of assessed recovery from the surgery and another stowing provisions on his small ship Cody stood on the landing pad ready to set off.

Rex seemed less than certain. “Cody I want you to call me if anything happens, or if you just wanna talk. I know getting the chip out can stir things up again and you…I know you must feel pretty karked up about everything that happened. You and Obi-Wan I know you were…close.”

Rex was trying to tiptoe around an issue and Cody didn’t have time for that anymore. “I loved him Rex, I loved him and I gave the order to kill him. He loved me too, we were…I don’t know how to say it, together? Combined? I was stronger then because I had…whatever it was I had with him. After it happened I felt like less somehow. Less than I was and I guess I have to find a way to live with that. But when I am done with this favour for the Senator, there’s still more than enough of me to kick this Empire where it hurts.”

Most of what Cody was actually feeling now was relief. Relief that the terrible thing that had haunted him for years was someone’s fault, there was someone to blame for the absence in his heart, in his life. Somehow he would make that vicious evil old man and his nasty bunch of thugs pay.

Rex processed what he had just heard, he didn’t seem overly surprised “what happened wasn’t your fault Cody, other people might not understand it but I do, those chips, none of us could fight them. Don’t let that guilt eat you up OK, there’s still a fight and we need you, we only just got you back. Maybe I should just come with you?”

“No, the senator wanted me to go alone and believe it or not I can take care of myself! I’ll see you soon brother.”

In truth Cody wanted some time alone, he was glad to have his brothers back, but he still didn’t feel like crying in front of them and right now his emotions felt closer to the surface than they had in years.

They swung their forearms into one another in a familiar greeting Cody had not realised he had missed and Cody turned to go.

--

The trip to Tatooine had taken over a day. Why anyone would make the effort to get to this out of the way dust ball was beyond Cody. The co-ordinates Senator Organa had provided were some ways outside of town and it took yet more time to calculate the right angle of descent for a non standard landing zone. Cody was proud he brought the ship down relatively quietly onto the moonlit desert floor next to the rock outcropping he presumed he was aiming for. Once his ship was down he rechecked the co-ordinates, the phrase middle of nowhere could have been written for this place, how could anyone live here? But the co-ordinates were correct. Exiting his ship the biting chill of the desert night was a surprise, he could still feel the heat of the twin suns on the rocks but the sand had long since lost any warmth and the starlit sky was completely devoid of clouds.

The opening that seemed the most likely entrance was confirmed when a droid sensor erupted from the sand next to a moisture vaporator flashing red and beeping at him. It ignored his attempts to talk to it but eventually fell silent continuing to flash red as he passed it and entered the cave itself.

Within, the cave held little but a camping rehydrator and stove, some crates and assorted junk. But no one was home, if this could even be called a home mused Cody. Exploring further he came to a second opening in the cave with a drop down to the sand below, and beyond endless moonlit desert. The desert was lit by two bright moons and with the naked eye Cody was able to discern a set of tracks leading off into the desert and in the middle distance a figure riding some sort of creature heading away from him. Cursing Cody wished he had some binoculars but the figure was not proceeding so fast Cody didn’t think he could catch him on foot. He debating briefly with himself tracking the figure from his ship but the chances he could easily land out further into the desert, where the dunes towered higher, seemed slim. Sealing his ship he set out at a brisk pace following the tracks in the sand.

Several hours later he was debating turning back, the figure had disappeared over a dune ahead over an hour ago and Cody was certain he did not still want to be out here when the suns began to rise. He pushed himself hard to crest the dune hoping for a view of his prey and was relieved to see about another 20 minutes walk along the top of the dune another rock outcropping with the creature tied up outside, no sign of its rider but he could not have gone far.

As Cody drew closer to the creature he could see a soft glow coming from within the stones, indicating another cave. The sky had begun to colour pink with the slow rising of the first sun as he approached and the creature raised its head and regarded him as he passed. There was no response to Cody’s calls as he entered the cave the light had receded further in, leading Cody deeper into what he could see now was one cavern. The lantern lighting the further end showing a slumped heap of rags which must be Cody’s prey sprawled on the uneven floor. As Cody approached he tripped on something that skittered and rolled away from him stooping to pick it up he could tell it was a glass bottle which was now empty. Bringing it to his nose the smell of the rough alcohol made him screw up his face, it reminded him of the worst output from the onboard stills back on the negotiator.

Rolling his eyes he nudged the sprawled figure with his foot “hey, get up, a friend sent me.” The figure moaned and shuffled but didn’t immediately rise. Waiting for this drunk to get up Cody took a chance to look around at the cavern end that was better illuminated and could see writing. Carved into the walls of the cave in neat script were hundreds maybe thousands of names, some he didn’t recognise but at waist hight to his left he could see ‘Nova’ ‘Sinker’ ‘Wyler’. Names from the 212th, what the hell was this place?

“Cody? Oh Cody m’luv, I’ve misshed you!” the slurred cry brought Cody out of his confusion and he turned to regard the figure only to look directly into a face he had thought he would never see again. There, propped up on one elbow was the unmistakable form of Obi-Wan Kenobi, older, ragged, eyes puffy and red but beaming up at the now dumbstruck Clone.

He struggled to get up swaying on his feet, as Cody rushed to steady him he found himself engulfed in a loose limbed embrace with armfuls of a man he had thought long dead just moments ago. The clearly intoxicated Jedi master buried his head in the crook of Cody’s neck lolling his head on Cody’s shoulder. “You’re my fayvit Cody, the besht dream. MMMM My Cody.” Obi Wan was leaning on him pretty heavily now as Cody struggled to process what was happening.

“Obi, I thought…why are you here?”

Obi-Wan turned his head, still on Cody’s shoulder to regard him his brows drawing together, “ish fukin’ Empire day, I wanted to c’mere and ya know…” Obi wan gestured loosely around “…’member my friends…say sorry. Might have got a bit carried away.”

Cody could never in his life remember seeing Obi-Wan drunk, and now here he was in the literal middle of nowhere holding him up listening to him slur and sway, despite himself Cody couldn’t help but smile, as little sense as this all made Obi-Wan was here, alive. “I think you did Obi, but what would you have to say sorry for?”

Obi-Wan frowned again, “let ya down, Cody. Let everyone down. Now yerrr gone, alll’s marchin’ ‘way.”

“NO Obi don’t say that, you never let us down, we… we never meant to…”

Obi-Wan barrelled on regardless, “sss’all chits, in yer heads, I let him steal you all, even you, an you were My Cody.”

Cody felt relief wash over him, Obi-wan knew about the chips, knew some of what had happened. Though this felt like a discussion to have maybe another time.

“not all o’ you though! I kept a bit o’ Cody safe. in ma heart.” Cody could see that the arm Obi-Wan did not have draped around him attempted clumsily to beat his chest. “all that’s left now,”

Cody was struggling to follow Obi-Wan’s slurred statements, though his sentiment was clear and warmed Cody’ heart. What came next only confused him further.

“Theys threw you away, on D’six. I couldn’t find you Cody. mmm sorry.”

The sun was starting to rise outside now and light was slowly creeping in the entrance of the cave.

“Obi-Wan listen I think we should go its gonna get hot here soon, we should get you home.”

Obi-Wan clearly wasn’t listening but he untangled himself and lurched towards the cave entrance and stood facing out into the rising sun. The golden rays showed the red still in his hair and beard and the tears gathered in his bloodshot eyes as he looked out at the rising sun and then turned again to brush his fingers over the cave wall where the sun had hit the back wall by the entrance. There carved in larger script was Cody’s own name.

Cody approached the drunken man who was swaying heavily and whose earlier drunken giddiness seemed to be turning more morose.

“Ya get two sunrises a day here Cody, you’re the first one to see them.” The words dissolved into a sob which had Cody rushing to close the distance clutching his lover from behind as the man tried to smother sobs and his shoulder shook. As Obi-Wan turned into him he could see fat tears rolling down the mans cheeks. “mmm sorry, won’t forget Cody, I won’t forget you. I miss you.”

All Cody could do was gather the man in his arms and try to console him “hey, hey its ok Obi, I’m right here, I missed you too, shhh shh its OK.”

Obi-wan didn’t respond and it didn’t take long to realise he had slipped back into a state of only semi-consciousness. He lifted the man into a firemans carry and carefully made his way out to the waiting beast and the dawn of a new day.

--

Obi-Wan woke slowly, his body reluctantly returning to consciousness. He was warm but not as warm as he would expect to be if the suns were up. He slowly moved his limbs beneath…he was in a bed, on a soft pad covered by a soft duvet and with a pillow. The shock of this realisation brought him to full consciousness as he tried to sit up despite his throbbing head. He was naked, he didn’t sleep naked in Tatooine, its frigid nights required layers, where the hell had he ended up? He was torn between luxuriating in this bed for as long as he could, he had not slept anywhere this comfortable in literally years, and finding out how he had got here. He could tell he was on a ship, judging from the cabin size a small one, it did not feel like it was in motion.

Before he could decide on a course of action a figure entered the small room and…Obi-Wan was struck dumb.

Cody was smiling warmly and carrying a large beaker of water. “you’re finally up, here drink this and take these.” He put the beaker of water down on a shelf at the back of the bed space and held out his hand containing two tablets, which Obi-Wan took in silence, looked at briefly and then swallowed without question washing it down with the water.

Obi-Wan could not believe his eyes, this could not be true, he struggled for something to say. If he was losing his marbles and this was a hallucination he should focus on what he knew, what was real, but in his addled state that led him to blurt out.

“I’m naked?”

He cringed inwardly, his social skills once so finely honed had apparently abandoned him and left him sounding like a simpleton. Cody seemed unphased, still smiling his eyes bright. “the ride back from where I found you was a bit sweaty, I laundered your clothes, I’ll go grab them in a sec, there’s a fresher with a shower and plenty of warm water you’ll probably feel better after. I’ll go...”

Panicked at the suggestion Cody would leave Obi-Wan lunged to grab one of his arms startling the clone, Obi-Wan stammered to explain himself. “Sorry I…Cody is it…you’re real?”

Cody huffed out a small laugh, “yeah pretty real.” He gently lifted his free hand to stroke Obi-Wan’s cheek.

Obi-Wan leaned into the hand on his face briefly closing his eyes. “Sorry I…I thought I had finally lost my mind.”

Cody nodded, “No I don’t think ghosts have greying hair at the temples and a bad knee, its me Obi.”

The two just sat and stared at one another for a moment before Cody extracted himself. “I’ll go get your clothes grab a shower and then we can talk OK?” not waiting for a response he left the cabin.

--

Obi-Wan was ashamed at the amount of dirt he scrubbed off himself in the shower. The sand bath tradition here on Tatooine was apparently not serving him well. He was even more ashamed that Cody had found him slumped and inebriated on a cave floor, what must he have thought? After thoroughly scrubbing himself and washing his hair and beard Obi-Wan contemplated himself, for the first time in possibly years, in a mirror. He barely recognised the man looking back, scruffy and unkempt even if he was clean. Cody had left his clothes neatly folded in the room he had woken in, as he slipped on the lose linen tunic he noticed a small hole near the hem had been neatly sewn shut. He was still rubbing his fingers over the stitches as he walked out into the ships combined cockpit and social seating area.

“You had a hole, didn’t want it to become a tare.” Cody offered having turned and seen where Obi-Wan’s focus was from his seat by the cockpit. He stood to move to the social seating hoping Obi-Wan would join him. “feeling any better?”

Obi-Wan looked up still deep in thought. “hmm? Oh yes much better thank you, Cody I’m sorry for, well the state I was in when you found me, I don’t usually…the moonshine was stronger than I expected. I imagined this, hundreds, maybe thousands of times, longed for it, gave a lot of thought about what I would say. Not in a single one of my imagined conversations where my first words, ‘I’m naked’.

He stood and just looked at Cody, tried to drink in the relief and joy that he was here and not dead on some backwater planet as he had believed for so long.

Cody was looking right back “Obi, your first words to me where about how much you’d missed me then you threw yours arms around me, it might have been one of the happiest moments of my life. Realising you weren’t…that I hadn’t killed the man I love. Like I thought I had, for years.”

The words were enough to spur Obi-Wan into motion and he moved slowly into Cody’s space wrapping his arms around him and slowly their foreheads came together in a manner that had once been so familiar to them.

“I’ve known for years, about the chips, you never tried to kill me Cody, please don’t say that. I thought I’d lost you too, I searched as best I could but the Empire listed you as killed on Desix. I went there looking for you to make sure…well anyway all I found were Nova and Wyler’s bodies, I buried them on a hill overlooking the city and then just…gods Cody I don’t know what to say.”

The once peerless negotiator lapsed into silence before pressing his eyes closed unable to find the words and eventually just whispering “I love you.”

“I know, you told me last night.” As close as their faces where Cody could see his love blush at the comment. “you were very poetic, you thought I was a dream.”

The huff of laughter from Obi-Wan helped something unclench in Cody’s heart, an easing of a tension he had barely noticed but then when Obi opened his eyes they were wet with unshed tears. “You ARE my dream Cody, you always have been, maybe before I even met you, I dreamed of someone who would make me feel like you did, do.”

Cody felt a little wetness in his own eyes, “Obi I told you, dreams don’t have bad knees and grey hair.”

Another huff of laughter from his Jedi accompanied by a comment “mine does” as Obi-Wan closed the last distance between them Cody’s last thought before their lips met was how much he had missed being looked at, like Obi-Wan looked at him. Like he was something precious and wonderful, to be seen the way Obi-Wan saw him was something he had missed without even realising it, but as their lips met even that thought faded away.

--

Hours later they sat watching the sunset from the open door of the ship side by side with Obi-Wans head on Cody’s shoulder. A grumble from Cody’s stomach brought him back to the present, “are you hungry?”

“Obi-Wan raised his head and looked a little pensive, “Oh yes I’ve probably got erm.”

“You’ve got nothing, I have some basic supplies I can get us something,”

Obi_wan seemed mildly affronted “I’m sure I had something.”

Cody huffed out a breath, the same mild exasperation from years ago crept back into his breath, “Obi, I brought you back here last night and carried you into your, I don’t know what is it, hovel?”

“its perfectly adequate for…”
Cody cut him off
“you don’t have a bed Obi!”

“I’m a man of simple needs, I have a bed roll and its not a hovel it’s a cave.”

Cody shook his head slowly, “it’s a good thing I came along Obi-Wan, you’ve got no bed, no food to speak of, you’ve lost weight, your clothes are full of holes.”

Obi-Wan feigned indignation though in truth he was still basking in Cody’s presence as he had been since he emerged from the shower. He cut Cody off before the list could get any longer, “I am getting by fine thank you very much, its been a difficult couple of years…” Obi wan trailed off unwilling to dwell on the scale of what had been lost, what he had lost.

Cody looked genuinely pained. “I know Obi, I know.”

There was a moment of silence between them before Cody pushed on, “what I’m trying to say is, the most precious thing to me, in this whole galaxy, is living as a hermit on this god forsaken rock for some reason. I intend to make sure its taken care of, loved as it should be, treasured like he deserves to be.”

Obi wan lay his head back on Cody’s shoulder and looked out at the pink sky and setting sun over the dunes. “whoever this hermit is, he’s a very lucky man.”

Cody had no more words, he brought their joined hands up to his mouth and kissed the back of Obi’s.