Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Gotta give it to Zuko, the idea of staying at an inn isn't half bad. There's no danger of anyone recognizing us and it'd be good to sleep on a bed for a change. Even if my last stay at an inn wasn't fun, I've bloodbended without regrets the last few days; Hama doesn't hold that much power over my life. 

“Wait until I change too.” I pick up my bag. “It'd be suspicious if a muscly boy walked around town with a mysterious foreigner girl dressed in all black.”

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

He is so gullible. 

I hide behind Appa but Zuko still turns away. A scoff escapes my throat. “Sooo gentlemanly.”

“Trust me, I'm not.” The sound of a stick breaking marks the end of his sentence. 

“Why do you insist so much on that?” I can't help but ask while I pull my black tunic over my head, making my hair even messier. I comb it while recounting all the ‘good deeds’ that Zuko has done in just a couple of weeks. “You've been helping everyone with the chores, pouring tea, performing heroic acts and rescue missions… so nice, so perfect.”

Surprisingly, the bitter taste of the words dissipates inside my mouth. I don't want to think of Zuko as someone worthy of trust, but why did he have to save my father from prison too? Urgh!

“I’m not nice or perfect.” He breaks another stick. “I’m broody and can't even talk to people.”

“Hey, I’m people.”

“Yeah, I mean—See? This is what I'm talking about.”

I laugh and do little to contain it. 

What makes me angry in all this is that he acts like a good guy and it isn't even an act, I'm just so adamant about not believing it. I get to decide that, right? Just like I can decide whenever I use bloodbending, or if I don't let my fear of Hama control me, or if I kill the person who killed my mom…

I… Sometimes I'm just so scared of getting things wrong again. Like this trip, when I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do when I find my mom's killer. 

That helps me stay angry at Zuko: he gets to turn his life around and become his better self while I'm an indecisive mess that only falls deeper into the dark. 

“Done.” I walk around Appa once I finish putting on my Fire National dress. 

Zuko turns around and just… stares. 

“What?”

“Nothing, I… I didn't know you had Fire National clothes.”

I throw my bag over my shoulder. “We… uh… found some the other day.”

“Oh…” He looks at the ground, scratching his nape. “It looks good on you.” 

Don't try to butter me up like that.

We decide to stay at an inn close to the forest just in case something happens, yet I can't see Appa's cave from here and that makes me uneasy. 

“I'm sorry,” the innkeeper, a young lady of very dark short hair, apologizes to us. (I think her name was Sae?) “I'm afraid there's only one room available. It has two twin beds though.”

“There aren't any other rooms?” I ask, my tone neutral. I sound almost bored, disconnected. 

“It's tourist season, all the other rooms are booked. And to be honest, I think many other inns are in a similar situation.”

“It's alright. Maybe we'll just find another—”

I stop Zuko. “We'll take the room.”

“We will?”

“That's wonderful!” Miss Sae smiles. “Thank you so much for your understanding. I'll be bringing your keys in a moment.”

She disappears into the backroom and my gaze gets lost into space across the window. I do my best to ignore Zuko's inquisitive look. 

Until I can't. “What? We're already here.”

The inn is comfortable, with a rustic design reminiscing of a small family home, but I just can't get myself to appreciate it. 

“Everything okay?” Zuko asks while he puts his bag on his bed on the left side of the room. I picked the one to the right, closest to the window, I feel better if I can be even a little closer to Appa. 

I don't look at Zuko for answering a clipped “Yes.”

No. 

I drop myself on the bed.

The room is cloaked in the indigo blue of the night but that does little to stop this anxiety from spreading all over my body. 

What if this trip was a mistake? 

What if I'm doing more harm than good? Again.

What's wrong with… me?

At first, I think I'm dreaming when I hear the whimpers, but they keep growing sharper and louder. 

I turn around on the bed and see Katara by the window. The moonlight helps me see her clearly down to her red dress. She is crying.

Chapter Text

Days later…

“Oh, sorry!”

I accidentally crashed against a merchant stand. I help him pick up a basket that fell; Katara watches from my side without much of an expression, but now her eyes are more curious than distracted. She has been very quiet since we encountered Yon Rha. I think it was a good idea to take a few days here in Ember Island to pass the shock, still, I feel like I should be cautious around her. Most of the time, her gaze gets lost into nowhere. (I don’t know if I’m the one to blame for that; if I had never told her about the Southern Raiders, she wouldn’t have found Yon Rha and she wouldn’t be like this.)

When I’m done, the merchant thanks me, and we keep walking.

I glance at her. She’s still wearing her Fire Nation outfit that I didn’t know she had, and I… I mean, I knew she was very curvy, but I… I mean, since the dress discovers her waist… I…

Her fingers snap right in front of my face. “You alright?”

After I blink, I see that her eyes are more amused than murderous, so I think I’m not in immediate danger despite ogling her.

“Um… Yes, everything’s fine.”

“You were staring into space.”

“Yes! Yes, that was exactly what I was doing. I wasn’t looking at… anything.”

Nice safe, Zuko. Just. Great.

“Okay…” Katara doesn’t seem to notice my awkwardness as weirder than usual. “Hey, I meant to ask, what’s that building over there?”

She points to the distance.

“Oh, that’s the Ember Island Arcade.”

“What’s an arcade?”

“It’s like a place with games and food and stuff.”

“Is it fun?”

“Meh…”

“Can we go in?”

“Do you want to go in?”

She looks from me to the arcade and then to the beach, like she is wondering if she’s enjoying too much of the Fire Nation and if that’s acceptable for her.

“Yeah, come on.”

She grabs my hand and guides the way to the arcade herself.

Since she has been in her distant state of mind, she doesn’t seem to realize whenever she touches me or how often she does, it doesn’t bother me so I haven’t said anything, but I don’t want her to feel bewildered if she happens to blink and then it dawns on her that she is grabbing my hand.

“You don’t mind this?” I ask.

“What?”

“This.” I raise our entwined hands.

“Oh…” (Yep, she hadn’t noticed she was touching my hand at all.) “No, I don’t mind.”

“Really?”

“It’s crowded in here, it’s safer if we hold hands, we run less risk of separating.”

I didn’t know she was so concerned about separating—since she hates me—but the place is crowded with all the tourists at the beach and I’m the only person she knows here, so I guess it is safer if we stick together too. Although… maybe holding hands is a bit much.

Well, if Katara doesn’t mind…

We get to the arcade and I pay the tickets with the gold coins from the knife I pawned. The inn where we stayed was surprisingly cheap and we haven’t used the money since, this is a good time to spend it.

Katara’s eyes grow when we get inside, they shoot everywhere, the colors of the games and decorations reflect on her pupils. It’s mesmerizing.

“You wanna play one of the games?” I say.

“Yeah, let’s play that one.” She points to the throwing game I played with Mai and Ty Lee back when we first visited. “I want to win that stuffed koalaotter!”

This is the most excited and… responsive I’ve seen her since days ago, so I let her drag me to the stand.

“How’s it played?”

“You have to use firebending to throw down that wall of tiles. If you throw them down all at once, you get the prize.”

“Shoot! I’m not a firebender.”

“I’ll win it for you.”

I pay for my turn and (again) the wall crumbles on my first try.

“Nice shot, kid,” the guy in the stand congratulates me again. (I can’t be the only one to ever throw down that weak wall.) “What prize?”

“The koalaotter.”

He hands it down and I give it to Katara.

She squeals, smiling, and squeezes the doll in a hug.

It’s odd for me to see. Mai hated all the prizes in here. And I guess I wasn’t thrilled over them either—(if I got a stuffed animal, I would want it to be big like a real animal, not like these little things in here) (but they are cute, I guess)—seeing Katara so excited makes me smile too. It feels good that I cheered her up, and it’s nice to know I didn’t mess up a gift for once.

“Hey, haven’t I seen you around here before?” The guy on the stand wonders.

“Um… No, I don’t think so.”

“Yes, I have. You are that guy who wrecked the Street Bender console. You were with another girlfriend back then though.”

“Girlfriend?” Katara arches an eyebrow at me.

“We better leave.”

I’m the one to take her hand and take her away.

What is wrong with that guy? Katara is not my girlfriend, but if she was, he could have gotten me in serious trouble. Isn’t there some kind of social code for these situations?

“You had come here before?” she asks once we are far enough.

“Yeah. Once.”

“With who?”

I roll my eyes. Stupid old man! “With Azula… and Mai and Ty Lee.”

“And you were dating Ty Lee?”

I scoff. It’s funny that it is her guess. “No, I was dating Mai back then.”

“Oh, thank Spirits. For a second, I thought that guy believed Azula was your girlfriend.”

“Ew!”

She laughs.

“You know you have some twisted sense of humor. I thought that was Sokka’s thing.”

“Don’t I have a right to laugh?” she teases. “So, you were dating Mai... Knife-throwing Mai?”

“That’s her.” 

“Mmmm… So you won a prize for her too?” Her free arm hugs the doll I gave her to her chest.

“No, she didn’t want it.”

“Why not?”

“Just not her style, I guess.”

She hums meditatively. “And she was the one who thought you weren’t gentlemanly enough?”

I flinch.

I don’t feel Katara’s mocking me with it but… that's how it was. I feel some sort of knee-jerk reaction triggered by the memories of Mai always criticizing and rejecting me. It’s not very different from remembering my family—that’s messed up.

Katara apologizes for bringing up the subject. “Sorry, that’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s not that, I was just… remembering something.”

We stay wandering through the arcade for a while. The silence isn’t awkward but it isn’t companionable either, it’s like we are both in separate spheres even while our hands stay together. 

I keep thinking about Mai and our visit to this arcade and this beach. (Agni, that was a horrible time!). I can’t tell what Katara is thinking. Probably something about Yon Rha and I don’t know what to do to distract her.

“And what was the game that broke back then?” she asks all of a sudden.

“Oh. It’s one called Street Bender. It was kind of boring.”

“Which one is it?” Her head turns from one side to the other.

“Um… It’s that one over there.”

She has to stand on the tips of her toes to see it. “Can we play it?”

“If they haven’t put up the sign of ‘No Zuko’s Allowed’...”

“What exactly did you do to that game?”

“It’s a long story.”

We walk over to the console and I explain the game to Katara. We can use the metal rods in the console to move the figurines, and the buttons to make the figurines punch each other, and the person who wins is the one who gets to tackle the other player’s figurine. Since it is an Avatar-themed version, there are figurines of the two of us.

“Ooooh! I’m gonna pick myself to play!” The koala-otter rests on the console while Katara reaches for the figurine that looks like her. “You should pick the one that looks like you. It’ll be like a rematch from our fight in the North Pole.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, it makes sense that you’d want a rematch.”

“What are you talking about? I won that time.”

“No, I won.”

“I won!”

Maybe we do need a rematch. 

I pick up my figurine and we put both on the yellow-colored mini-arena. Soon after we are play-pretend punching each other.

“Ha!” Katara laughs while her figurine punches mine. “I’ll go easier on you if you admit I won at the North Pole.”

“Dream on, Water Tribe.”

We are moving the rods and pressing the buttons like crazy, it sounds like a discordant orchestra, but I don’t even mind the clattering. This is the most fun I have had in years!

In the end, Katara is the one who tackles me first.

“Yes!” She raises her arms, jumping in celebration. “How does it feel to lose to a girl, Zuko?”

“I’m used to it, I got a sister.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Then how does it feel to be beaten by a waterbender? Twice.”

“I’m telling you I won at the North Pole. You can cling to this victory all you want though.”

“I won!” she throws back.

“I won!” I argue.

How crazy it is that even though we are arguing, I can’t feel the least bit of hostility.

We are practically in each other’s faces by now. Katara is looking up at me and she’s smiling.

I have to laugh at how she’s on the tips of her toes again, trying to match my height. I can’t look away from her sparkly eyes.

Somebody interrupts our standoff-like moment. “Hey, don’t we know you?”

I turn around, two girls are staring at me.

“You’re that guy that we met at the Burakkubān town.”

Chapter Text

“Oh… Hi.”

Zuko steps away to greet the two random girls who just showed up.

This is probably none of my business either, but… I don’t like them. I know that I sound like a spoiled brat, but I don’t like how they are looking and smiling at Zuko, and playing with their hair and whatnot. I don’t like how they interrupted our conversation. Couldn’t they see it was a private moment?

“What a coincidence! We told you we would catch you the next time you visited Ember Island.”

Zuko doesn’t look too comfortable, more like he is answering and acknowledging them just to be polite. “Yeah…”

That makes me even more annoyed that they can’t take the hint of his discomfort.

I don’t know why I’m feeling so irritable all of the sudden, I was feeling fine just a moment ago when I was talking to Zuko. Yes, I’ve been struggling the past few days, but I was better until these girls came along. My new koala-otter squeezes into my chest. I look like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum. 

The fact that the girls are straight-up ignoring me and only talking to Zuko doesn’t improve my opinion of them either.

“We didn’t catch your name back then,” one of them says, the one with long light brown hair. 

They are both equally pretty and they are wearing what looks like expensive Fire Nation sbai and sinhs. Although the style is casual, the craft looks too refined for a day at the beach. I wonder if they are from wealthy families, people whom Zuko could have met before; not only because I’m trying to figure out if they’ll recognize him, but also… because I’m just curious. Mai is the daughter of a governor, right? If these girls are the daughters of rich politicians, they could be girls whom Zuko could have met and dated in the past. 

I watch his reactions, trying to see if he likes them as much as they seem to like him.

“It’s Lee,” Zuko says. “My name is Lee.”

I choke back a snort.

“Nice to meet you, Lee,” the girl says. “I’m Akari, and this is my cousin, Chiyo.” She points to the other one with shorter, darker hair.

The latter waves. “Hi!”

“Nice to meet you too.” Zuko smiles. “And by the way, this is my friend…”

“Aoi,” I rush to say, and then extend my hand to shake Akari and Chiyo’s. “Nice to meet you.”

“Aoi; what an interesting name. It’s not common around here.”

“Don’t you remember? Lee told us they are from the capital.”

“Oh, right! You must be the friend he was talking about when we met.”

“What?”

“Didn’t he tell you? It was a few days ago. We were visiting the Burakkubān town and we saw him at a jewelry stand. He was staring at a necklace for a while. When we asked him about it, he said he wanted to buy it for a friend.”

A few days ago? That means he met them at the town where we stopped to stay at the inn. Did he want to buy something for me then?

“I didn’t say I wanted to buy it for a friend, I said it reminded me of a friend,” he is quick to defend himself, but that only confirms it.

“Then it’s true? You just randomly think of me when passing jewelry stands?” I ask.

“It… It looked like your necklace, I didn’t know if you’d like it in gold too.”

“So you were thinking about buying it… for me.”

He flounders with his words. “I… It's… It was…”

Akari, Chiyo, and I laugh together at his reddened face. I don’t think I dislike them so much anymore.

“You are still traveling then?” Akari asks.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a long trip…” Zuko says, scratching the back of his neck.

He does that when he is nervous, I have noticed, and following my twister of emotions, I frown at whatever is making him nervous around Akari.

“How long are you staying in Ember Island.”

“I don’t think long enough. We’re just crashing here for a few days.”

“Then you’re returning to the capital?”

“… Yes.”

“You’d like to hang out with us for a while?” Chiyo suggests. “We came here with our friends too.”

“It’ll be like a triple-date!” Akari beams.

My face heats so fast is nearly dizzying. “Wha—No, we are not…”

“We aren’t—” Zuko’s face is still colored in ruby red. (This must be what I get for teasing him so much).

Akari laughs. “Relax, I was just joking.”

The look on her face tells me she wasn’t, not completely.

“Let’s get going. Our friends are waiting for us at our table.”

We follow the girls to the area of the arcade that serves as a restaurant, soon it becomes clear the friends they were talking about are two guys around our age sitting by themselves. They are very handsome and look very tall and muscular.

Zuko stops dead in his tracks. “Son of a snakebitch.”

“What is it?”

“Guys, these are our friends.” Akari and Chiyo stand next to each boy. “Chan and Ruon Jian.”

I can’t describe what happens then, but the atmosphere of awkwardness is crushing. Zuko and the boys—Chan and Ruon Jian—look like they are having a stand-still. They've got to know each other from before. (Oh, Spirits, what if they know he is the Fire Prince?)

“Hey, you’re that guy that came to our party the other day,” one of the boys—(I still don't know if he is Chan or Ruon Jian)—says with a very obvious fake smile. 

“Yeah, how’s your girlfriend, buddy?” the other smirks.

“We broke up,” Zuko answers. “You already knew that.” 

If the comment shook him, I can't tell.

“Oh, yeah, we remember,” the guy goes on. His eyes sweep towards me. “Seems like you already moved on though.”

Zuko slips my hand into his protectively even as he lifts his eyes to Akari and Chiro, who look just as confused as me. 

“Girls, you know what? Thanks for inviting us over, but I think we’ll have to decline.”

“What’s wrong?”

Chan—I think?—springs from his chair. “This guy ruined the party I threw at the beginning of the summer! He broke my dad’s vase!”

Ruon Jian follows his rant. “He started a fight with me out of nowhere! All of it because he was such a loser that his girlfriend couldn’t stand him anymore! She broke up with him right then and there, in front of everyone, and then she stayed clinging to me the rest of the night.”

The one who I assume is Ruon Jian smirks again with his arms crossed over his chest and nose up. The girls and I shoot our eyes everywhere, silently apologizing to the other clients in the restaurant and the staff. (I don’t know what happened at that party, but yelling someone's private life in public, in front of a crowd of strangers is not the way to go either).

Zuko scoffs. “Right.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” His shoulders move up and down. “Just that you are a liar. My girlfriend left your party too, remember? We got back together at the beach after that, before we crushed your party to the ground. You remember that part, right?”

Both Chan and Ruon Jian turn white-faced.

“And also, I don’t appreciate that you say she was ‘clinging’ to you. She is not the type of girl to act like that. And even if she did, it’s not very polite of you to say it aloud.”

It’s so sweet that Zuko cares to defend Mai’s honor even when she’s not around.

Akari and Chiyo are not dumb, their confused stares turn into angry scowls the more they hear Ruon Jian rant.

My newfound admiration for Zuko becomes startlement when the Ruon Jian guy speaks my way. “He’s so hung up on his ex-girlfriend. Are you even hearing this, sweetheart—”

Without letting go of my hand, Zuko puts his free one on the guy’s chest. He hasn't pushed him, but anyone can tell the threat in the gesture. 

“First of all, don’t even think it is acceptable for you to talk to her. Second, even if you are blessed with the honor of talking to her, you’ll address her by her name, like a fake perfect gentleman. And third, you should be thanking the mighty Spirits that she is here because if she wasn’t, I would be throwing you across the room like I did at that lame party of yours. You remember that, too?”

Ruon Jian’s eyes grow big. 

I can almost hear Akari and Chiyo swooning—and every other girl our age in this room for that matter. It’s embarrassing to be the center of so much attention, safe that I’m not the one receiving it; Zuko is, because he is like a fabled prince. Noble and valiant. (And handsome).

And it's impressive that he only had to touch the guy to have him quivering.

“We should leave now,” he tells me.

I nod and turn around.

“For the record, I could totally take him down on my own,” I whisper to Zuko.

“Oh, I wanted to let you handle it, but—” his shoulders move up and down again—“he made me angry.”

“Mmmmm... I’ll let it slide this once.”

He smiles.

“Guys, wait!”

We turn when we hear Akari calling for us. Chiyo is close behind her.

“Sorry. That didn’t turn out so good,” she apologizes.

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”

“Well, since our friends are jerks. Do you mind if we are the ones who hang out with you for the day?”

They make googly eyes at Zuko.

Urgh! I like these girls, I really do, but at times they just…

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

Damn Zuko's obliviousness.