Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He's always laughing in the midst of power
Always living in the final hour
There is always sweet in sour
So we are not goin' home

Wolfmother – Joker & the Thief

Consciousness is returning to you reluctantly, like after a wild party night, when you are already almost awake, but you know that as soon as you attempt any kind of motion, your mind and body will blow up with pain. This is a similar sensation, but instead of physical pain, you anticipate problems. Serious sort of problems.

The first hint you get is a stone floor that chills your bones. You would think that you just fainted on your way home and are now lying in an alley next to the dumpsters. But the uncharacteristic lack of noise of a big city makes you give up on this idea. You do smell a faint stench of rotten food though, so the proximity of some kind of trash near you is very possible.

Carefully, not to show that you are awake, you slightly open your eyes to examine the surroundings. And you don't like what you see. You find yourself in a dark, spacious room that resembles a court and a church at the same time. Lots of candles, banners on the walls with all kinds of beasts, expensive furniture and decorations… The more you inspect the room, the more you realize that you got yourself into not simple "problems". You're in deep shit, and now you need to figure out how deep exactly you are. 

There are five people in the room with you. Five potential threats. Three individuals are sitting at the long table on your right side. If you try to escape, they are the least of your worries, since it would take some time for them to get on their feet. The main threats are two people in front of you. One of them is absolutely massive. You are not new to fights, and with the right strategy, you could beat even this giant. But taking on two of your presumed kidnappers at the same time would be difficult. Or impossible. Shit, you really are trying to keep your cool even in this situation. But the more you observe, the less you believe that you can escape successfully. Will you be quick enough to outrun these two? Can you punch them hard enough to break free if they capture you? Where even is the door? You assume that it’s right behind you, but you can’t be certain, and any mistake can be crucial. Deadly.

An unknown place full of strangers, potentially sick fuckers, judging from the interior and the fact that you got here against your will. The only positive aspect of all this is that you are not tied. It’s strange, actually. Who doesn’t immobilize their victim? Perhaps...

“I believe our guest has woken up already.” A low voice fills the room, intruding into your thoughts. The instant a man finishes speaking, the candles light up brighter, transforming the gloomy, dark space into a much more pleasant and majestic room.

You finally get a chance to see the faces of your captors. The low voice supposedly belongs to a dark-haired man who is standing near a giant. You don’t like him from the get-go; there is something disturbing in his eyes, despite his polite smile. You can easily visualize him dismembering a body with that same smile. It will be best to avoid him at all costs, if possible.

Against all odds and common sense, you actually like the red-haired giant. He basically radiates positivity and warmth, and if you weren’t abducted and dragged into this strange place by him (allegedly), you would ask him out for a drink.

…

…Who knew that the lack of sexual affairs lately would result in such brain damage? You were shaking in your boots just now, fearing for your life. But as soon as some hot guy appears, your self-preservation instinct goes out the window. Shame on you, Cas.

You slowly get up, feeling absolutely fine physically, not even a hint of pain. Which is extremely strange since your arm is supposed to be quite damaged after a nasty fall that happened yesterday. The Giant notices that you discreetly inspect your body.

“I took liberty in healing your arm. I hope you do not mind,” he says with a friendly smile. His voice is just like you expected it to be, very fitting for a man of his size and overall vibe.

“And how did you do that? I don’t see a single scratch,” you ask cautiously, continuing to check your arm. Free healthcare is good and all, but it’s impossible to heal your wounds that quickly. Assuming that you were lying unconscious for several hours and not several days.

“Magic,” the Giant smiles. The Dangerous One is standing next to him silently, allowing his friend to lead the conversation with a "guest". You feel the curious glances of people who are sitting at the table, but you decide to fix your attention on the pair in front of you. The Giant makes a small step in your direction but stops immediately once you mirror his movements and take a step back, making the distance between you bigger than before.

“Very funny.” You flash him the fakest smile possible but return to your frowning look immediately. “Now explain who you are, what this place is, and why you got me here.”

“So impatient, typical human,” scoffs the Dangerous One. But after this remark, you'll just call him Brat. You decide to ignore him, waiting for the Giant to answer your questions. From the looks of it, he is the leader of this group of weirdos, and as much as it hurts to admit, you're at his mercy. It's really humiliating; you prefer to be in control. You are so dissatisfied with your position that you still consider trying to escape. Even if it would end badly, grabbing the wheel for even a second would still be better than just standing there and listening to the Giant saying… Wait, what?..

“I am terribly sorry for all the confusion that might have occurred. Believe me, we mean no harm to you. Let us start from the beginning,” the Giant says with a sympathetic smile. He spreads his arms in a friendly gesture, as if trying to hug you. “Welcome to the Devildom, Castiel! As a human, it will probably take a little while to adjust to things here,” he spills all that gibberish at you.

“The what?.. Devildom?” You can only repeat after him in confusion. The situation is even worse than you anticipated from the start. And, to be clear, you expected some cannibalistic cult that worships the Devil or something.

“Exactly! I see that you catch on quickly. Excellent!” He sounds like a proud parent whose child managed to count to three. Suddenly, he is not as hot as before. Fear starts to fade; irritation and anger begin to fill you instead. “I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of all demons. And someday soon, I will be a crowned king of the Devildom.”

“Yeah, right…” you say, just for the sake of saying something. You don’t care whether he is a prince, a king, or a madman. You are screwed either way.

Your brain is refusing to accept the information your kidnapper is trying to get across. Demons, seriously? It’s not like you would never believe in the supernatural; some good horror films almost managed to make you believe in ghosts. In theory, you might accept the existence of vampires and werewolves. But demons? What’s next, angels? God? Gods?

You allow yourself to seriously consider for a second that all you heard is indeed true. The instant you let that thought in, there is no way back. The more you stare at the two men in front of you, the less they seem human. They look exactly like any normal human being would, but at the same time, they are drastically different. You can’t put your finger on it, but it's not just unnatural eye colors and sharper-than-usual teeth. Diavolo and his friend look like fucking aliens, like white tigers masquerading as zebras. It’s extremely off-putting and bizarre.

You have been standing silently for a long time, attempting to collect your thoughts. The prince uses this opportunity to continue dumping more information on your poor head.

“The building we are currently in is the Royal Academy of Diavolo. Though we just call it RAD. You are standing inside the assembly hall, the very heart of RAD. This is where the officers of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business. I am the president of said council,” he says, looking a little bit proud of himself.

You don’t respond right away, unsure of how you should act. You decide to stop thinking about mind-blowing stuff and try to get out of this mess. Whether you are in another dimension or not, whether demons exist or not, you don’t want to stay with these… creatures in one room any longer. It’s always hard for you to keep your head cool; you are a man of action. Your whole being wants to either attack everyone on sight or turn around and run as fast as you can, looking for an escape. But you have to force yourself to act smarter. You have to know why they kidnapped you in the first place. Only after that will it be possible to decide what to do. 

“Why am I here?” You ask, tense and collected.

“I will explain everything to you,” Brat suddenly intervenes. It’s unknown why he decided to take the matter into his own hands, but he might’ve noticed your tension. Diavolo is doing his best to answer your questions in detail, but it would be wiser to explain why you woke up in an unknown place first.

“Castiel, this is Lucifer. He is a demon and the Avatar of Pride.” The prince happily introduces Brat to you. “He is also the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man… and not just in title, I assure you. Beyond that, he is also my most trusted friend.” Diavolo puts his arm around the other demon’s shoulder. Lucifer doesn’t look pleased with such high praise.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo.” Lucifer frowns and shakes the prince’s arm off. But he masks his annoyance quickly, putting his polite smile back on. “Speaking on behalf of the entire student body at this great and storied school of ours, I offer you a most heartfelt welcome, Castiel.”

You had hope that Brat would answer your most important question right away, but Lucifer just had to show how much of a snob he is. You feel tired.

“Charmed. I will repeat one last time: Why am I here? And make sure you keep your answer nice and short, no need for all this polite shit.” Not the wisest move to anger… the demons, fine. But you are too annoyed to worry about such stuff at this point.

“…Interesting. This one is quite different from Solomon,” Brat grins slightly. For some reason, he seems to enjoy your fiery attitude, even though you are acting extremely rude toward both Diavolo and him. But given the situation you are forced into, he lets it slide. “Diavolo believes that we demons should start strengthening our relationships with both the human world and the Celestial Realm. As a first step toward this goal, we’ve decided to institute an exchange program.”

You don’t like the sound of that.

“We’ve sent two of our students to the human world and two to the Celestial Realm. So I take it you’ve probably put two and two together at this point, right?” Lucifer is staring at you with his soulless eyes, waiting for any sort of reaction. He elaborates, “You’ve been chosen from among the people of the human world to participate in this program of ours. You are our newest exchange student.”

…

“…You do realize that kidnapping some random human from the streets and forcing them into this program of yours will not inspire said human to 'strengthen relationships' with your kind, right? You cannot possibly be that stupid.” Okay, great job, almost no insults. You can be proud of yourself. Maybe therapy did work, even if you abandoned it long ago. If it were the old you, you would already find yourself punching Brat’s face. With your foot. These demons would be wise to appreciate your patience.

“Oh, but you are not a 'random human'! In fact, you agreed to this program yourself!” Diavolo joyfully responds. You feel your eye twitch. You just stare at the prince, waiting for him to continue. “Do you, perhaps, recognize this app?”

He takes his strange-looking phone out of his pocket and opens some kind of game. You recognize it immediately. It’s an app that you started playing not so long ago. A tamagotchi game, where you need to look after all kinds of cute monsters: dragons, dogs with three heads, ghouls, and so on. It’s a good stress reliever that doesn’t consume much time, so you were hooked. How it could be linked to your situation is unknown, so you just nod.

“Well, it just so happens that this game was made here, in the Devildom. Our goal was to teach humans about the usual inhabitants of our world in an accessible form. I’m actually quite proud of this project…” You glare at him as strictly as you can to make him get to the point. You are interested in answers only, and this whole ordeal starts to get on your nerves even more than it already did. Diavolo notices your dissatisfaction and continues his explanation, “A week ago we launched a special deal: sign in for an exchange program and get a bunch of useful stuff to take care of your pets in the app. Dare I say, it was a tremendous success! We got so many applications that poor Lucifer was practically buried under all of them. But of course, as hardworking as he is…”

You stop listening to the praises to Lucifer and focus on your memories. That pop-up in the app that you saw one week ago… With a wall of text that you didn’t even bother to read… You saw the rewards that they offered and just clicked the ‘accept’ button. But it’s just stupid, right? Surely the reason you were dragged into another dimension is not because you wanted to level up your Cerberus as soon as possible!... Is that even slightly legal? Do human-world laws even work here?

A special deal in the game, for fuck's sake... You always knew that you would end up in hell, but not like that. It's almost insulting, actually. It's quite clear that this whole story about the app was created just to have an excuse to drag some random human into the exchange program. Even such a stupid reason sounds better than "we kidnapped you because we can, deal with it." The demons feel so confident in their right to play with humans' lives that they didn't bother to come up with anything better than that.   

You feel tired once again. Too much information and too many revelations were thrown at you. The only thing you want right now is to find a quiet place and think everything through. Or to punch somebody. You are angry and irritated at everything and everyone. And the best way to get rid of these feelings is a good old fight. Exhaustion and anger are tearing you in the opposite directions, making it hard for you to reach any sort of conclusion.

Lucifer notices your depressed state and decides to make some things clear.

“Of course we take full responsibility for your well-being, accommodation, and all the necessities. We will also take care of all your chores back in the human world. Your apartment will be taken care of weekly.” He clearly hesitates to say more than he already has. But after giving it some thought, he continues. “We can also assure you that you won’t lose your job during your stay here. We have… our own ways of persuasion. None of your friends, co-workers, or boss won’t even notice that you are gone.”

Fan-fucking-tastic. Not only do they know where you live and work, but they also have access to your home. And last, but not least, they used their magic on all of your acquaintances to make them forget about you, or some shit.

And again, against all odds and common sense, you calm down. You were indeed worried about your belongings and work. You can’t just abandon all this for a long period of time without consequences. But if it’s indeed organized like they said it is, if these shady bastards really took care of everything back home, then… Why the hell not? If it isn’t some kind of sick joke and it’s really a whole-ass new world, it’s an awesome possibility. To explore. To have fun. And to take revenge on these demons for kidnapping you. They really could do a better background check. You doubt that they realize what kind of person they “invited” for this cute little program of theirs. 

It would be reasonable to worry if these demons influenced your brain in some way. If they can make your boss forget that one employee is missing for the entire year, they can make you more favorable toward the whole situation. You did make peace with the whole thing suspiciously quickly, indeed. But you have never been reasonable to begin with, so it’s rather late to start now. Just this once, you will go with the flow.

“Fine, let’s play by your rules for now,” you sigh. You still aren’t a fan of the current state of affairs, but you found some positive aspects, and it’s enough to lift your spirits.

“Good." Lucifer nods calmly, as if he had no doubts that you would eventually give up and submit. "Let us quickly go through the basics. Your period of stay is one year from now. You will take classes and work on tasks like any other student. After one year, you will write a paper about your experience here. Nothing too hard,” Lucifer assures. It doesn’t sound too bad for now. Admittedly, you aren’t too fond of your school years, but you don’t mind reliving this experience in demonic fashion. Who knows what kind of classes they have here? Maybe you can even learn some magic.

“Of course you will not be abandoned all by yourself here,” the demon continues. “You need someone to look after you, and I think that someone should be Mammon. He is the Avatar of Greed and… how should I put it? Oh well, you’ll understand soon enough.”

That doesn’t sound reassuring in the slightest. Of course Brat has no intention to babysit you. And it isn’t surprising that he has some sort of minion for "dirty" work. But whoever this Mammon is, you would prefer his company over Lucifer’s.

“Here, take this device,” the demon says, giving you the same strange-looking phone as the one that Diavolo has. “It’s called D.D.D. It’s a lot like the cell phones of your world. You are free to use it as long as you are here. It already has all the necessary contacts and apps. Go ahead and try calling Mammon with it,” he offers with a polite smile. The more he smiles, the more forced it seems.

You are slightly intrigued to hear the voice of your new friend in misfortune. It takes him a few seconds to pick up a phone, and you hear a sleepy voice on the other end.

“Yooooo.”

Oh, so Mammon is the "cool" type. Works for you.

“Yooo,” you respond in the same manner.

“Are ya foolin’ around? Who the hell are ya?”

“Castiel the Human. You can call me Cas.”

“That’s a hella stupid name.”

“Better than yours, that’s for sure,” you say with a grin. Great, not even a full minute of knowing each other, and you are already arguing like five-year-olds.

“Hey! How dare ya insult Mammon the Great?! Ya clearly don’t have any taste!” He yells so loudly that you have to move the phone away from your poor ear. "Stupid human. Ya should’ve told me right away that you are some stupid human with some stupid name. Geez, I was gettin’ all chilly here, thinkin’ it's Lucifer again.”

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you like that,” you say mockingly. Though it seems he didn’t register that you were laughing at him anyway.

“Yeah, whatever. So, what business does a human have with THE Mammon?”

“Apparently, you will help me fit in the Devildom.”

“Haaa? Ya think I’m some kind of tour guide? Or a babysitter? Stupid human, do ya even realize who ya talkin’ to? I’m THE Mammon, the Avatar of Greed, one of the strongest demons of the Devildom!”

“Okay, I'll just tell Lucifer that you refused,” you interrupt his bravado. Mammon is definitely something else, and you could have some fun teasing him, but you would prefer to be all by yourself anyway.

“Pff, whatever. Ya think the Great Mammon would listen to you just cause you’re tryin’ to scare me with that name?” Mammon scoffs.

“I wouldn’t even dream of scaring you, O great one,” you indulge him, wondering if he is really as naive as he sounds. You hear a sudden bang; it seems that the demon fell from somewhere.

“Y-yeah? I mean, obviously, human. It seems ya know what's what!” He exclaims with fake confidence. Okay, this is rather cute. So the boy enjoys some praise, huh. You'll most definitely remember that for future reference.

“Sorry for interrupting.” Lucifer unceremoniously takes your phone from your hands. Fuck, just when it started to get good. You are pretty sure that you could find some common ground with Mammon if Brat gave you one more minute. But it seems that the demon of Pride has his own ways of convincing.

“Mammon, you have ten seconds. Nine, eight…” he says calmly, yet threateningly. His face doesn’t show any signs of emotion; his eyes are as expressionless as before, but his voice is cold as stone.

“Yes, Sir!” THE Mammon squeaks (but in a very manly way, of course), and the call ends.

Lucifer returns your phone. He looks rather pleased with Mammon’s submission and a quick demonstration of his power. The ego of the Avatar of Pride is expectedly as big as his head.

“So, now that you had a lovely chat with my brother, what do you think of him?” He asks suddenly; his red eyes are drilling your skull.

“He seems nice,” you shrug. You can’t really tell what kind of person Mammon is from a short phone call, but you already like him more than his arrogant brother. It's quite surprising how many emotions Lucifer stirs in you. You hardly know him, but he already makes you all worked up over the slightest remarks. If anything, he is rather friendly, but your intuition keeps screaming that this guy is extremely dangerous.

“You really think so?” Lucifer frowns. It seems that he isn’t fond of his brother.

“Castiel, I believe that you will have a chance to personally meet Mammon quite soon and see for yourself what kind of person he is.” Diavolo jumps back into action. “Meanwhile, Lucifer, why don’t you introduce our new friend to your brothers?”

He surely is talking about the other three demons in the room. They kept quiet the whole time, so you didn’t pay much attention to them. They visibly perk up when Diavolo mentions them. Lucifer isn’t a fan of the suggestion, though.

“Yes, as much as I dread the idea of doing so, you are right,” he sighs. You raise your eyebrow: does Lucifer hate all his brothers, or what?

One of the three unknown demons gets up to attract attention to him. He clearly knows how to work with lighting. The guy stands in the perfect spot where he is illuminated by all the candles in the best way possible.

“Oh, come on, really? You should be honored that you get to introduce such a sweet and charming brother like me!” The demon pouts. His voice is sweet and melodious – the kind you would expect from a siren. His whole appearance resembles a siren, in fact. The beauty you can and will die for, if he so chooses. You wonder if a dangerous aura is a family trait or simply a demonic trait. Diavolo may be just too good at hiding it.

Lucifer sighs even heavier than before.

“This one here is Asmodeus. He’s the fifth eldest and the Avatar of Lust.” Lucifer introduces the demon to you. Oh boy, the embodiment of Lust – that sounds rather intriguing. You definitely want to know more about this guy and his sin. Meanwhile, the banter continues.

“Wh… I can’t believe you just totally ignored what I said! And not only that, you referred to me as ‘this one’. How rude!” Asmo pouts once again and crosses his arms.

Suddenly, you hear an unknown voice; it’s coming from another person at the table.

“Hmph. At least he didn’t ignore you altogether. How do you think I feel?” This demon is annoyed by Lucifer’s attitude as well. His green eyes shine from the dark corner he is sitting in. You instantly think of a hunting beast that can jump at you at any minute.

“This one there is Satan, the fourth eldest,” Lucifer continues, looking completely unbothered by his brothers' remarks. “At first glance, he may seem like a responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving.”

So far, it seems like you should beware of all the brothers, except Mammon. You can’t imagine the guy you heard on the phone being as threatening as his brothers.

“Aha, so I’m 'that one', am I? Nice to meet you, Castiel. I’m Satan, the Avatar of Wrath.” He approaches and offers you a handshake. Well, at least he is a polite beast. You take his hand, paying no mind to Lucifer’s warnings. The part about deceiving looks can be applied to basically everybody in this room. If you decide to be cautious with anybody who is potentially dangerous, you can forget about socializing for the whole year.

“Avatar of Wrath, eh? Sounds cool as fuck, nice to meet you,” you say while shaking his hand. You can also be polite when you want to. And his sin is rather familiar to you, so he is the brother you like the most so far.

Lucifer must’ve decided that you were fooled by Satan’s artificial charm, so he repeats his warning, "Wrath is basically what he’s all about. He may flash you a pretty smile like that, but you better be careful because it is all an act.” He frowns, watching your friendly greeting. He is on high alert to be able to stop his brother in case he suddenly tries to tear your limb off.

“If you continue saying such nonsense, you’ll just scare Castiel,” Satan protests. He is still smiling, but you can feel his anger brewing inside. Yeah, you get him completely. If you were a little bit more naïve, you would call Satan your soulmate. But luckily you still have small parts of your brain intact after the whole demonic revelation. And the idea of being genuinely friendly or trusting with any kind of demon seems to you like pure madness. Satan turns back to you and continues, “Don’t take him too seriously, Castiel. Lucifer enjoys speaking ill of his brothers. He is the Avatar of Pride, after all.” Satan is all smiles, but you can clearly see how pissed off he is.

“Yeah, I noticed,” you smirk. This is definitely not a big, happy family. You hope that you will manage to avoid them as much as possible; their quarrels must be insufferable. Sure, you will probably meet them at the Academy from time to time, but it should be manageable.

Lucifer sighs once again. You are starting to think that the gray hair you occasionally notice on his head is not a fashion choice, but rather an inevitable feature of a thrilling family life.

“Are you done?” he asks with hidden irritation. You kind of feel a little bit of sympathy for the guy. “Now, the one there is Beelzebub. He’s the sixth oldest.”

You fix your gaze on a man who is still sitting at the table. Some kind of abomination is lying in front of him; it looks like a furry octopus that was run over by a truck. The stench of rotten food must come from that thing. The demon is happily munching on this monstrosity. When Beel hears Lucifer introducing him to you, he gulps the rest of the octopus in one go (impressive mouth work) and greets you, “I’m Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony.”

He doesn’t offer you a handshake and doesn’t even leave his place at the table, but you don’t mind. Beel must stink really badly after he ate that thing. He is a big and bulky boy, not as big as Diavolo, though. Gastronomical habits aside, he looks rather cute. You wave at him with a light smile.

“So…” Lucifer returns your attention to him. “There are seven of us brothers in all, and I am the eldest. Mammon, the second-oldest, will be here soon. My other brothers are not here at the moment, but… Well, we can get to them later. All in good time.”

You are curious about the rest of the brothers, but you’re glad that they are not here at the moment. The fewer weirdos surround you at a time, the better.

“I’m sure that the rest of your family is just as charming,” you reply to him. Lucifer frowns; he seems to be permanently stuck in this expression. “I have a question, though: where will I live? Is there a dormitory? Will I live with other exchange students?” After all, Lucifer mentioned that they sent some demons to the Human world and to… somewhere else, you can’t remember the name. And since it’s an exchange program, there should be other students from these worlds as well. Maybe there are more humans? Some poor souls who got into the same trap as you.

Diavolo wants to be the bringer of good news, so he cheerfully explains, “During your stay in the Devildom, the seven brothers will lend you their strength. So it was decided that you would stay with them at the House of Lamentation, for your own safety.”

…Huh? Well fuck. Your wishful thinking really didn’t work this time around. Here you were, dreaming about avoiding this dysfunctional family, and now what? You have to spend a whole year under the same roof with them. You think about your apartment back in the Human World. You were working so hard to afford it, to have a quiet corner of your personal space, and now it’s all gone. Straight back to loud madness, it seems.

“I can assure you that I know how to protect myself, even from a superior opponent. I would like to live with other exchange students,” you say confidently to Diavolo. You have to at least try to dodge the incoming catastrophe.

“We have no doubts in your abilities,” Brat says with a mocking smile, “but demons are much more powerful, both physically and magically, than any other human you encountered. Even the lowest demons have a variety of tricks that will put your life in danger. And, as I mentioned before, we take full responsibility for your well-being. Thus, you have to live at the House of Lamentation, where I and my family can protect you.”

“Lucifer is right, Castiel,” the prince joins his friend. “You see, demons are attracted to humans with nice souls. Lesser demons mostly see souls as food, an immaculate delicacy, and they will do anything to get it. The stronger the demon, the easier they control themselves when it comes to souls, but there are still high-ranked ones that consume humans anyway. I can guarantee you that seven brothers will never go after your soul. So please, trust us when we insist that the safest place for you is the House of Lamentation. It’s not a mere whim on our part, I assure you.”

So you weren’t too far from the truth when you assumed that you were kidnapped by a cult of cannibals who worship the devil. Excellent. But that part about attraction to "nice" souls implies that you have one. They really didn’t do a background check.

Now you can see the scale of the problem more clearly. Diavolo really dragged you into the pit full of hungry wolves. It’s quite a daring plan on his part to implement this exchange program. And it would be a disaster if a human died during their stay; that would put an end to Diavolo’s whole dream about strengthening relationships between worlds. So it’s understandable why he decided to be extra careful and make you live with brothers. Personally, you don’t agree with him that Lucifer’s family is that reliable, but it’s your best shot. As much as you want to explore this new world on your conditions, it’s better to do as they say for now. Courage and self-confidence are one thing, but underestimating your enemy when you only learned about its existence several minutes ago would be beyond stupidity.

“If you believe that it’s the best solution, I will trust you on this,” you reply, hiding your irritation. You'll have to play nice. For now.

“Wonderful!” The reward for your obedience is prince’s bright smile. You get a chance to admire his sharp fangs. Such teeth could break through your skull in one bite. You wonder if demons would suck only your soul out, or if they would eat your flesh as well.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of a long-awaited demon.

“HEY! Just who do you think you are, human?” You hear Mammon screaming as he runs into the room. “Ya’ve got a lotta nerve, summoning the Great Mammon!”

“Hi there,” you greet him calmly. The white-haired demon looks messier than his brothers. But to be fair, he didn’t have much time to tidy himself up before Lucifer forced him to come here. Despite his unfriendly demeanor, you don’t sense any kind of danger. If anything, Mammon looks somewhat goofy. He is a breath of fresh air in this place full of shady-looking demons. This sudden fondness toward Mammon can bite you in the ass later. He is a demon, he can’t be as simple as he looks. You decide to observe him for now.

“Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once.” Mammon ignores your greeting, runs toward you, and continues his tantrum, yelling right into your face. He smells like raspberry toothpaste. “If you value your life, then you’ll hand over all of your money now! And anythin' else of value too! Otherwise, I’ll wipe that stupid, happy-go-lucky look right off your face… by eatin’ ya! Startin’ at your head and workin' my way down, until-”

“Pffft!” You almost start laughing right into his face, but manage to stop yourself. The boy doesn’t have any talent for intimidation, it’s almost impressive. He says scary things, and you know that in theory he can do to you everything he just said, but it doesn’t hold any weight.

The main thing about threatening someone is to believe in every word you say. But Mammon doesn’t have that hidden bloodlust like Satan or wicked sparks in the eyes like Asmo. He is loud and obnoxious on the outside, but almost harmless on the inside. The whole spectacle is just an attempt to show who is the boss and to save face after Lucifer forced the greedy demon to obey his command. And you want to indulge him, really, but it’s a total fiasco.

“Wh-!” Mammon is shocked to see you laughing at him. He raises his voice even more, “How dare ya-!”

“Mammon, shut up, or I’ll punch you!” Lucifer decides to intrude. He doesn’t give his brother a chance to react, punching him immediately. That must’ve hurt. Diavolo is standing silently, looking amused. The other brothers simply observe the fight with bored looks on their faces. It seems they have seen this scene many times before.

“GAH, OWW!” Mammon yells at the top of his lungs. Your ears start ringing. “Hey, what’s the big idea?! I thought you're actually gonna give me a chance to shut up before punchin' me!”

Satan decides to introduce Mammon properly:

“Castiel, Mammon here is the Avatar of Greed. He governs and oversees all forms of it. Do not let him near your belongings, otherwise you will never see them again.”

“He is also a masochist; this part is important,” Asmo chirps, adding to Satan’s introduction. You didn’t notice when he took out his mirror, but he's already fixing his make-up with its help. Currently, he is applying a sparkling lip gloss to his puffy lips. Asmodeus notices that you are observing him and winks at you with a cheeky smile. You find yourself wanting to learn how this lip gloss of his tastes.

 “Y’all, stop tellin' lies! Ya make me look like some kind of scumbag here!” Poor Mammon attempts to fight back against his younger brothers.

“Well, you are a scumbag, hon,” Asmo grins, moving his gaze from you to Mammon.

“And you are indeed a thief. And a masochist,” Satan grins as well. He leans back on the table he was sitting at before and crosses his arms.

“I ain’t asked for that punch, and I AIN’T a masochist!” The Avatar of Greed insists loudly. Mammon is standing in the middle of the courtroom, clenching his fists. He doesn’t sound convincing and can’t put up a good fight. What a miserable sight this is.

“I noticed how you didn’t deny the thief part,” Asmo continues his teasing.

While they are arguing, you move closer to Diavolo and whisper to him, “Are you absolutely sure that there is no other place for me to live? Is it necessary to make me share the house with this bunch?”

The prince seems to find your concerns funny. He simply nods to your questions and chuckles when you let out a defeated sigh.

“Mammon,” Lucifer stops the quarrel with just one word. “You are going to be in charge of seeing to this human's needs during the whole exchange. I expect your full cooperation,” he says in a tone that doesn’t allow any objections.

“What?! Why me?” But Mammon objects anyway.

“Just give up, Mammon,” Satan mumbles without raising his gaze from the papers in his hands. You didn't even notice when he casually started working on student council documents instead of wasting time on a stupid family quarrel. So he is a smart and responsible dude? You like him even more now. “There’s no getting out of this. You know that you can’t refuse a direct command from Lucifer.”

“But why does it have to be me?! What about Beel? Why can’t he do it?” Mammon uses his last chance to dodge a bullet.

Only after this remark do you remember Beelzebub. He doesn’t take part in his brothers’ fights at all, which makes him look like the wisest demon in the room. But you assume that he is simply not much of a talker.

Asmo answers instead of him. “It isn’t a job we can entrust to Beel. We might as well ask him to eat this human.”

“Mm, yeah. I can’t promise I wouldn’t,” Beel confirms Asmo’s fears. So demons can also eat human flesh, understandable. That piques your curiosity, for some reason. While the demons are having their banter, you sneak closer to Beel. He gives you a questioning look.

“Did you eat humans before?” you ask.

“Yeah,” the Avatar of Gluttony nods.

“Raw or cooked?”

“Both.”

“How does it taste?”

“Like… a shadow boar. But sometimes, like a cursed fiery lion’s brisket,” he simply replies. You notice a hungry look in his eyes and hear a roar of his stomach. This food talk made him hungry, despite him eating that octopus earlier. A true glutton.

You check your pockets for something edible and find a pack of gummy worms.

“I will give it to you if you promise not to eat me,” you offer.

You are not sure why you approached him, especially after he admitted that he could eat you. But he seems like a normal dude with whom you can get along.

...Yeah, Cas, you completely lost your mind. He just admitted that he ate humans, and you are basically a walking steak to him. What on earth made you believe that you could "get along"? It’s his abs and violet eyes, isn’t it? You’re hopeless, Cas, you’ll die here.

Luckily, Beelzebub doesn’t attack you. He snatches the pack of worms from your hand before you even finish speaking.

“Deal. Thanks,” he says, happily munching away.

If you have to live with these guys, a small bribe here and there won’t hurt. Even if he lied to you, a pack of gummies is a small price for possible peace. And you got valuable information that you taste like a boar. Or a lion.

Satan is observing this whole conversation with discreet curiosity. As are the rest of the demons, excluding Mammon. He is too busy arguing with his older brother. But it seems that Lucifer finally forced Mammon to agree to look after you by the time you finished your conversation with Beel. Not without threats, of course.

“Hey, human!” Mammon attracts your attention, puffing his chest to look more serious and intimidating. Needless to say, it doesn't work. “Listen up. As much as I don’t wanna look after you, I’ve got no choice. It’s a huge pain in the ass, and I’m too important for this kind of thing, but Lucifer told me to do it, so I will. But in return, ya better make sure ya don’t cause me any trouble, got it?!” He looks at you, putting his hands on his hips, and waits for your answer.

Hm, not cause trouble? Impossible. But you kind of have to lie; otherwise, the greedy demon will start yelling again.

“All right,” you say as sincerely as possible. Diavolo smirks at your response. He can’t possibly read your mind, right?

“Good, that’s what I want to hear. As long as ya do as I say, we won’t have any problems. Just be sure ya don’t forget which one of us is the boss here,” Mammon says. You smile; it’s very cute that he thinks he is in charge.

“Castiel,” Diavolo approaches you and puts a hand on your shoulder. It’s heavy and warm. “From now on, you will be living with Lucifer and his six younger brothers. They will lend you a hand in overcoming any obstacle that you may face here, in the Devildom.” His gaze becomes less focused, like he is far away in his thoughts. “Humans, angels, and demons. I imagine a universe where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends. This is my dream, and I’m asking you to be the foundation for it. One year – that’s what I ask of you. Good luck.”

His golden eyes are shining with passion and stubborn confidence. You would’ve been inspired, if not for a rude disregard for your free will. He mentioned angels, right? You somehow doubt that angelic exchange students were knocked out and dragged to the Devildom against their will. No, you are sure that only humans were treated that way. As something less important and weak. As ex-food, that is now supposedly banned because the young prince suddenly decided to be friends with all three worlds. Even if Diavolo means well, he and his subordinates fail to see humans as equals.

Will you be the one to change their perspective on such things? Pff, hell no! These arrogant asses dare to underestimate you? Well, then, it will be their own downfall. Poor demons won’t even understand what hit them.

After that heartwarming speech, the meeting was dismissed. You didn’t say a single word about your true thoughts. It’s better if they think that you just accepted Diavolo’s stupid plan and went along with it. You and Mammon went to the House of Lamentation, while others stayed for some council work.

You are now walking the empty corridors of RAD in silence. Well, if you ignore Mammon’s quiet, angry mumbling about his rotten luck. It is dark and gloomy; you wonder how it is here when the building is full of students. You walk down the stairs, pass a giant statue of Diavolo in the hall, and approach the exit. Mammon storms through the door without a second thought, but you stop.

There is a whole new world behind that door. A dangerous one. A thrilling one. You know that once you go through that door, your adventure will start. You were always running away from chaos, chasing a quiet and calm life. But it seems that chaos finally got to you and tossed here. The Devildom. Maybe it’s just the thing you've needed all along? Maybe it’s time to stop running away and embrace it?

“Oi! Ya stuck here or what?” Mammon’s head pops through the door. “C’mon, I ain’t got all day, let’s go!”

And you open the door.

Chapter Text

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams

A chilly wind is running through your clothes. You are wearing a hoodie, which is just perfect for this kind of weather. You are in luck - today is a good night. No acid rains, hurricanes, or floods of the giant lava river that crosses the whole city. It’s surprising how cold it can be in the city with the river of lava.

You decide to spend your time on your way "home" productively, meaning torturing Mammon with questions about the weather and nightly cycle. He seems very annoyed, but responds to all the questions nonetheless.

Apparently, daylight is nonexistent in the Devildom. Instead, there is an endless night, with different cycles to differentiate "morning" from "evening". Demons are able to tell what time of the night it is just by looking at the sky. A skill that you need to obtain as soon as possible.

There are also more hours per night than humans have per day. The usual twenty-four hours are stretched into thirty-six, allowing demons to go to RAD, work, have time for tasks, personal stuff, and sleep.

“And somehow, I doubt that you put all these hours to good use,” you tease Mammon.

“What can ya possibly know about me, human?” The demon angrily shouts, pointing his finger at you. “Aight, if you're gonna be such an ass, I’m done answerin’ your stupid questions.”

“Guess I’ll have to find someone more knowledgeable than you. Satan, for example. He seems so responsible. A complete opposite of you, actually.”

“Ha! Satan may be the biggest bookworm in existence, but he still doesn’t know shit!” Mammon scoffs. “He spends his whole time burying himself in books, but the real life is here, in the streets!” He spreads his arms theatrically. “I’m not sayin’ that he is completely clueless though. He charmed tons of people with his fake smiles, so he has hundreds of acquaintances of all sorts. But he has zero real friends and doesn’t actually speak with anybody other than us, his bros. And the only info about the outside world he gets from his shitty encyclopedias and stuff. If it’s that sorta knowledge you're after, suit yourself.”

Mammon sounds like he is bragging and worrying about his little brother at the same time. That is very endearing.

“Didn’t expect you to be such a good big bro, Mammon. Who knew that you had such a cute side all along,” you grin.

“Hey! Ya have a death wish or somethin’? I don’t have anythin’ cute! I’m the most badass demon in the world! If ya call me cute one more time, I’m gonna bite your empty head off!” The demon starts yelling at you, quickening his step. He wants to reach the House as soon as possible and get rid of you.

“Don’t say cute stuff then; otherwise, I’m legally obligated to call you a cutie,” you continue your mindless teasing, paying more attention to the road than to the conversation. Mammon becomes as red as a tomato, though you are not sure if it's from anger or embarrassment.

“Cutie-!” he almost squeaks. “Did ya smash your head when they teleported you here?! Are all humans simply crazy?”

“More or less,” you smile. “Wait, you didn’t speak to a human before?”

“I sure did, stupid human. And lemme tell you: you’re all weirdos. Those witches that tryna drag me into the pact, that shady Solomon guy, I have chills from him, that kid…” Mammon looks at the sky, lost in thought.

Ding-ding-ding, you heard this name before.

“Wait, what’s up with that salmon-guy? I heard about him from Lucifer.”

“So-lo-mon, ya dumbass. He’s a human and a new exchange student, like you. Ya’ll meet him tomorrow, don’t jump outta your pants,” Mammon grins, noticing how you perked up after he mentioned another human.

RAD is located not far from the House of Lamentation, and the route is rather scenic. You pass a park, a cemetery and a couple of shops. Both RAD and the House are built in a rather secluded area; there are no high buildings or noise from people and cars. You already like this place.

Mammon leads you to a hill where the House is. But you stop to feast your eyes on the view of the city that lies beneath you. Countless lights from buildings look absolutely magical, paired with bright stars and an enormous moon. You've never seen stars back at home; the pollution of a big city doesn't allow such luxury. But here, in the Devildom, despite endless night, it is never really dark.

You finally notice a huge castle, the kind that you would only see in a fairy tale. It isn't that far from the House either, standing on the very edge of a city. The castle grounds are surrounded by a high stone fence that separates the castle from the buildings of the city that decided to grow up right behind the wall. You notice a huge lake near the palace, and you just know that the water there is crystal clear.

“What’s with this castle?” you ask Mammon, who is standing quietly near you, also admiring the view.

“That’s where Lord Diavolo lives,” he answers. “He is too important to live with us in the House, so he has the whole castle all to himself.”

“Would you like to live in such a place?” You are curious. How can an Avatar of Greed be satisfied with sharing a house with all his brothers? Maybe he envies Diavolo for how many riches and power he has. You could use it to your advantage.

“Nah, fuck that,” Mammon replies almost immediately, shaking his head for emphasis. “This castle is too creepy: ghosts, screams from the dungeons, Barbatos hidin’ in the corners. Besides, my bros are too childish, they can’t live without their big bro. So I’m stuck in this little house with ‘em.” You see a tiny smile on the corner of his lips.

“Here you are, showing that cute side of yours again,” you smile genuinely.

“Shut up, human,” he quietly mumbles, blushing again. It seems he is too tired to bite back more actively.

You finally approach the House you've heard so much about. If that is what Mammon calls a "little house", he would have a stroke if he ever visited your tiny apartment. A huge mansion looks like it belongs on a Halloween-themed postcard or in an amusement park as a haunted house. A perfect home for seven demons. Plus one human. There must be tons of secret passages, hidden rooms, and secrets that are waiting to be explored. You are excited.

You and the demon enter the House through giant, heavy, wooden doors and appear in the hallway. The interior is even spookier than the courtroom. Tons of paintings are hanging on the walls as far as the eye can see; most of them are either terrifying, sickening, or disturbing. Somebody in the family is a collector, and with a twisted taste as well. The whole house must’ve been decorated with this "beauty". You just hope that there are no such paintings in your room.

But once you begin to ignore the art hanging on the walls, you realize that the House is actually really beautiful. Gargoyles, dragons, snakes, and skeletons are thematically implemented in the interior as columns, door handles, statues, candelabras, and lamps. It's done so tastefully that it doesn’t look like a parody of a haunted house from horror movies. The House of Lamentation has character, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be cozy as well. A beast with a kind heart, you have a soft spot for that kind of thing.

You are already falling in love with the House, and you didn’t even get past the hallway. Mammon gives you several seconds to look around, then points his hand somewhere toward the staircase and announces, “This is the House of Lamentation, technically it’s one of the dorms here at RAD. A super special dorm, reserved for student council members. So ya better be grateful that you’re allowed to live here, ya hear me? No matter what my brothers tell ya about me, I’m an officer of the student council, elite of the elite, the top of the RAD social pyramid, got it?” Mammon starts bragging, shining like a diamond. He is completely lost in his fantasies; it's the first time you see him that happy. “In other words, I’m a big shot. A REAL big shot. Like, even regular big shots are impressed by what a big shot I am.”

You seriously need to shut him up, or at least make Mammon change the subject. The only thing you want from him is to learn where your bed is and finally pass out for many hours. You are a tough cookie, but you seriously need a break.

“Mammon, just point me in the direction of my room. Enough of your bullshit,” you interrupt him, putting a hand on your face in a tired motion. The demon looks very offended.

“Hey! What’s with this bratty attitude of yours? I’m tryin’ to teach ya about the respect toward your superiors, you ungrateful piece of shit!” Mammon pouts at you. He sighs and looks at you seriously: “You won’t last a single night here if ya keep this shit up. And then it will be me whom Lucifer will tear apart. Cut your crap if ya want to safely return home.”

You look him in the eyes, feeling the temperature of your body rise from sheer anger. Your emotions were subdued for too long, and it finally backfires. You almost enjoy the heat on your face and growling in your voice when you finally snap.

“I am no one to you, and you are no one to me. I was dragged here against my will in the first place, and since then, I've been nothing but an obedient good boy who agreed to every crap you forced on me. And now you dare to open your mouth and teach me how to live? I have zero respect for you or for anybody else in here. And I will do things my own way, whether you like it or not. If it gets me killed in the end, so be it. At least I’ll die with dignity, and it'll be much better than being a spineless loser like you, Mon.” 

Mammon stands silently in front of you. You don’t know when you approached him so closely that you can feel the smell of raspberries again. He looks at you calmly, no signs of anger in his blue eyes, but you see that you really offended him. You expected Mammon to explode with rage already, anybody in his place would. You underestimated him. Everybody does.

“If you wanna survive here in the Devildom,” Mammon says in a quiet voice, “you’d better listen real close to what I’m about to say. If it ever looks like a demon is about to attack you…” He moves closer, letting his face show a tiny piece of his real anger. “Run away. Either that, or die.”

Your whole body wakes up, ready for both attack and defense. You wanted to start a fight with somebody ever since you woke up on that stone-cold floor. It froze your bones and muscles; you were freezing until this very moment. You finally feel your blood running through your veins. Mammon wants to speak with you in a language you are quite fluent in. You want it. You need it. The demon is ready to give it all to you, and you will take it. And give it back as much as you possibly can. You tense your body, ready to strike…

Suddenly, you hear an unknown voice from above. “How about this? I vote for YOU to die, Mammon.”

Both you and Mammon freeze, looking wide-eyed at each other. You two synchronically raise your heads to stare at the demon on the stairs. Must be one of the brothers you haven’t met yet.

This one looks like a stereotypical nerd. Minus the glasses and pimples. You wonder for a second whether demons even need glasses or suffer from pimples. Bright purple hair almost covers the guy’s orange eyes. These are the only two unusual things that make this demon stand out. If not for them, you could walk right past him and not even notice. It is certainly crazy how different all the brothers are.

“Fuck… Levi,” you hear Mammon’s scared voice. Wait, "scared"?

You turn your head toward Mammon. The demon that was ready to kick your ass is completely gone. Your perfect sparring partner, the bringer of your own twisted salvation, transformed back into the good old Mammon. It's extremely disappointing, to say the least. You return your attention to a purple-haired cockblocker (which is not the right term for the whole situation, but for some reason, it still fits).

“Mammon, give me back my money. Then go crawl in a hole and die,” Levi hisses at the greedy demon.

Mammon tilts his head toward you without breaking eye contact with his brother and whispers, “This here is Leviathan, the Avatar of Envy. He’s the third-oldest. Since his name’s sorta hard to say, you can just call him Levi.” Then he raises his head and replies to Leviathan, “Come on, I told you I’d get it to ya! I just need a little more time… And ya still want me to die even after I give it back?! That’s real harsh, Levi!”

“You need 'a little more time'? How much more?” The demon asks, leaning his head to the side.

“A little more, okay? A little more means a little more!”

“You’ve been telling me that for the last 200 years, Mammon,” Levi replies, not convinced.

Holy shit, "200 years"? You actually didn’t consider before that the guys in front of you could be ancient beings, possibly completely immortal. But it can’t be right, there must be some kind of balance in the universe, right? Your head starts to almost hurt from the thought that you got into the world full of immortal, invincible, magic-wielding ancient creatures. You won’t let this thought consume you, though. Demons breathe, eat, and feel pain (you remember how Lucifer punched Mammon earlier). Therefore, they may be different, but they do the same things humans do to keep their bodies alive. You can hurt them. You can deal some damage. You can possibly kill them. This conclusion calms you down.

Meanwhile, brothers are still quarreling.

“-you’re a lowlife and a waste of space,” Levi is hissing at Mammon from the stairs.

“Hey! Come on, that’s even worse!” the demon pouts.

“Whatever… Just give me back my money. I need to buy the Blu-ray box set of 'Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and Her Reluctant Companion'! The initial round of copies includes promotional tickets to a life event as a special bonus!” Levi’s demeanor completely changes the second he starts talking about this show. His eyes are now shining with the light that only people with true passion have.

You can relate. Anime isn’t your cup of tea, though. You saw several of them, the ones that were recommended by your co-worker. While you enjoyed some of them, you never really dived deep enough to become a part of this culture. That life event sounds cool, though. You can understand how much it means for a true fan. Mammon, apparently, can’t.

“I’ve got no idea what you’re even talking about, Levi, but it doesn’t matter! Because I don’t even have any money to give you. How am I supposed to give back money I don’t have, huh?!” Mammon stares at his brother, waiting for an answer.

“So, then, you’re telling me you refuse to pay me back?!”

Fuck, this conversation is going nowhere. You find a lovely little couch where you can sit and wait for this endless quarrel to finish. Realistically, it seems that you will sleep on this couch. It is very comfortable, so you don’t mind. Right now, when the fight with Mammon is for sure cancelled, you start feeling sleepy once again.

“Listen, human,” the Avatar of Greed suddenly remembers about you. You open your eyes (you haven’t noticed when you closed them) and look at him. “Ya remember my advice from before about what to do when demons attack?” You nod. “Well, you’re about to witness that for real. So…” And you can’t care less. You close your eyes and lie down for a nap. “…time for you to die, because if it’s either you or me, it ain’t gonna be me!”

You still don't care. You raise your hand and flip Mammon off. After that, you roll to your other side to face the back of the couch and fall asleep.

...

It is unknown how much time has passed, can’t be that long, but you're now being rudely pushed by someone.

“Hey, you, wake up!” You hear Levi’s voice. You roll onto your back and open one eye. You now understand why the pushes felt so strange. Instead of using his hands, Leviathan took a mop that was standing in the corner and poked you with it till you woke up. “Are you Mammon’s drunk buddy he met in the club, or something? You can’t sleep here, go home!”

“Nope, I’m your new roommate. Nice to meet you.” You wave your hand in a friendly gesture.

“Don’t tell me Mammon rented my room to some creep again!” Levi yells. 'Creep'? Ouch. “The room is already taken, so go find Mammon and better get your money back. Or do anything else, just go away!” He continues poking you with a mop.

“First of all, you got it all wrong. I’m Castiel the Human, a new exchange student. Second of all…” You sit yourself up, take your end of the mop and pull it out of Levi’s hands in one motion. “Stop poking me with this thing, if you don’t want me to shove it up your ass.”

“Wh-!” Leviathan chokes on his words. “A human?! I didn’t know you would live with us! Ugh, that must’ve been the big news Lucifer announced yesterday, but I couldn't be there! I couldn’t abandon my brand-new game 'Ni no Kuni 3'! I had to finish the main storyline and write a review; a lot of people depend on my reviews, you know. They want to know if they should spend their precious money and time on it. But I fell asleep midway, because the night before I was rewatching 'Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and Her Reluctant Companion' to mentally prepare for the Blu-ray release. And now I need to speedrun the game even faster, because it’s been a whole day and I…”

You're patiently sitting on the couch with the mop in your hands and listening to his mumbling. Once Levi stops for a millisecond to catch a breath, you quickly interrupt him, “Dude, just show me where my room is supposed to be, and you can return to whatever it is you're doing.”

“Wait! You are a human, correct?” he asks again. You observe how he visibly forces himself to stop gibbering about his games and shows, and turns on a serious mode. The excited and passionate kid is hidden, you're now dealing with a moody teen who hates his brother.

“Yeah, I think we clarified it by now,” you respond.

“Do you realize what just happened? Mammon used you as a distraction to get away from me. Or maybe I should say he used you as a sacrifice.” Levi slightly leans toward you. “I’ll admit that Mammon is one of the scummiest scumbags you’ll ever meet, like a total lowlife. But still, it was pretty dumb of you to let him use you like that.”

“Levi, I just don’t care what he did to you or what you did to him. It’s not my problem. In fact, the only problem I have right now is that nobody fucking shows me where my goddamn bedroom is.” You really need some peace and quiet to collect your thoughts and get some rest. You have neither the energy nor the desire to check every room in the house. So you will either get the answers from somebody or you will just sleep on the couch; you are already used to it by now.

“So you really just let Mammon get away with it? And won’t even take revenge on him?” Leviathan continues to bait you, softly hissing into your ear. Shit, he may look and act like a total nerd, but he sure knows how to tempt people. Or you're just easily tempted, which sounds about right.

“All right, snake-boy, you got my attention," you sigh. "I assume you already have a bright idea?”

“Snake-?.. Ugh, whatever, just follow me, human.” Levi quickly storms up the stairs, so you just follow him to the second floor, carrying the mop in your hands. You can use it if Levi decides to attack you.

You finally get to see something besides the entry hall. The staircase and the corridors of the second floor are decorated in the same fashion as the previous room. But once you enter Levi’s bedroom, your mind is literally blown.

It is a drastic change from the rest of the house. The first thing you see is a giant aquarium, that occupies the entire wall in front of you. The whole room is illuminated by a blue light, and you understand why when you lift your head and look at the ceiling. Although, there is no ceiling. There is water, it's floating above you, defying all laws of physics. You feel like you are standing at the bottom of the ocean. A surreal feeling, that made you question your sanity for a second there. You decide to focus your attention on more normal things, otherwise you could be standing, looking at this magical water for all eternity.

Other than the watery entourage, it is a normal nerdy room. Super expensive computer, tons of manga and discs with games, figurines of cool girls and hot guys. And a bathtub instead of a bed. Yep, completely normal.

Levi nervously locks the door behind your back. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it back as he sees you raising your mop up, trying to poke the water on the ceiling. You want to learn if there is some kind of glass or if the water is floating there thanks to magic. The mop becomes wet. So magic it is.

“W-what the hell are you doing?!” You hear the demon’s hissing.

“Just checking something. Relax, I’m putting it down already.” You decide to put the mop in the corner to avoid accidentally soaking something important. You leave it at your arm’s length to be able to grab it quickly. “So, what’s on your mind?”

“Argh, I hope nobody saw us…” Levi whines quietly, looking at the door. He turns his head to look at you. “Why, you may ask? Isn’t it obvious? Imagine what would happen if someone saw me inviting you into my room! A human, who doesn’t even look like an otaku, but a normie! You know what people would say, right?!” He looks really worried about his reputation. You would understand if Levi’s main problem was the fact that you were a human. But he thinks that you are normal, seriously?

“Do you really think that I am a normal person, Levi?” You chuckle a little bit. “Mammon actually called me crazy not so long ago.”

“I don’t trust Mammon’s judgment of people, so save your breath,” Leviathan hisses. He seems to hiss often when he is annoyed. And so far, he's been constantly annoyed. “And I wasn’t speaking about your mental health, human. You are not a man of culture, so it is shameful to speak with you. Even to be in one room with you, a normie!”

“So you are an otaku, Leviathan?” You ask, sitting down on the bean bag chair. Levi is definitely not a gracious host, and you are still sore from lying on the floor, so you decide to be a bit rude and sit down without invitation. You frown. Maybe hospitality is not a concept here? Diavolo didn’t even get some kind of rug for you. He healed you, though. You decide that demons just don’t know shit about humans’ bodies or how cold stone floors could affect them. You focus on Levi’s ranting about normies and otakus.

“… no matter how much of a normie you think you are, everyone out there is an otaku in some way! Every single person!”

“Then congrats, there are no normies in your room, so we can finally move on and discuss business.” You are missing the couch already. But the bean bag chair is not half bad actually, a worthy contender.

“What makes you an otaku then, huh? What’s your passion?” Levi curls up on his gaming chair in a pose that cannot be good for his back. What’s with these demons and their annoying habit of avoiding your questions?

“Dancing,” you simply reply.

“That’s… not what I was expecting. Are you sure that you are passionate about something like this?” Levi shivers a little bit. “I mean, dancing is awful. You need to move your body in the right way while everybody is looking at you… A true nightmare for every true shut-in like me!”

“Yeah, I am sure. I actually made it my career; I’m a dance teacher.” You smile. “I don’t believe that there is a 'right' way to dance or that bad dancers even exist. If you let yourself loose and give in to the music, your dance is always beautiful; it doesn’t matter whether you have any skill or not. Audience is not for everybody, though; I agree with you on that.”

Your gaze wanders off during your little speech. You find yourself looking at the bookcase full of, well, books. One book in particular attracts your attention. “The Tale of the Seven Lords: The Lord of Shadow Awakens”.

“What is it, human? What are you looking at?” Levi asks curiously. He decides to ignore everything you said about dancing and whatnot. Levi is too awkward for such activities anyway, so the subject didn’t interest him at all.

“That thick-ass tome. Is that a demonic variant of fantasy?” You point your finger at the book.

“What?! You don’t know the greatest book series ever written, TSL?! It was even written by a human, you uncultured swine!” Ouch. If you slap Levi's face with a wet mop, will you have enough time to get to the door and avoid being killed on the spot? “The fact that you didn’t know about TSL only means that you were wasting your miserable life! So, I’m going to do you a favor and teach you about TSL. Make sure you pay attention!”

Aaand of course, you didn’t pay any attention. Blah-blah, Christopher Pigeon, blah-blah, theatrical version, blah-blah, lords, blah-blah, Henry, blah-blah, power of friendship.

You were staring at the goldfish in the tank the whole time. What a wonderful creature - so peaceful, so quiet. Apparently, the name of the fish is Henry. Henry calmed you down, so you don’t want to slap Levi with a mop that badly. Thanks, pal.

You return your mind to the conversation (more like the monolog) only when Levi starts whining about human otaku stuff. Specifically, when he mentions maid cafés.

“You are more suitable for the role of the maid than the master of the house,” you mumble, lost in thought. You imagine Leviathan in a maid dress and stockings. He seems to have a pair of nice long legs, so it should look good on him. Meanwhile, a miracle happens: Levi finally stops talking.

“What?! What do you mean by that?!” He screams so loudly that the whole neighborhood must’ve heard him.

“I'm not sure myself.” You smile at him. “So what, did you snap out of whatever it was? Are you ready to talk about Mammon, or should I just go away?”

Levi catches his breath after all the intense talking and screaming and nods.

“Yeah, let’s talk about that. I didn’t bring you here to talk about TSL, after all.” He raises his head and fixes his gaze on you. “I don’t think there’s any harm in just coming out and saying what you already know is true: Mammon is a complete and utter scumbag. It’s very important you understand this.”

“Yeah, I don’t need any more motivation than I already have. Come on, spill the beans.” Finally, you can get some action.

“Basically, I lent this scumbag money, and now I want him to pay me back. But being the scumbag that he is, he won’t do it,” Levi frowns. “I wish I could force him to, but despite what a rotten waste of space he is, Mammon’s still the second eldest. I just don’t stand a chance against him.”

Hm, interesting, so there is a pattern that shows how powerful each brother is. And of course, Lucifer is the strongest; no surprise here.

Levi continues, “You say you want to know how Mammon and I first became enemies? Well, it’s a long story, but sure, I’ll tell you, human.”

For fuck’s sake. You were supposed to find a way to torture Mammon, but you were tortured instead. You look at the fish, silently begging Henry to save you. He is supposed to be the hero, after all. You aren’t sure whether it's worth it to stay here and listen to another story about some shitty figurine that was lying in the trash in Mammon’s room. You decide to start listening; maybe you will get some info on the demon’s lair.

“…I just lost it and flew into a rage. I walked straight over to Mammon, who was lying on his bed asleep.” Levi narrates, lost in memories. “Then I raised my leg up into the air over him and brought my heel down onto his stomach as hard as I could. But the next thing I knew, he wasn’t there on the bed anymore. It all happened so fast. He moved with incredible speed. He grabbed me, picked me up, and slammed me headfirst onto the floor. And the worst part is that he was STARK NAKED!” Levi cringes as he tells the story.

You start basically vibrating in your seat, trying to hold in the laughter. If you laugh aloud, you'll embarrass Levi, and he'll kick you out of his room. Even if the demon’s idea turns out to be bad, it was all worth it for just this story. God bless Levi for his storytelling abilities; the image of naked Mammon suplexing his younger brother will be stuck forever in your head.

“…As I started to lose consciousness, I remember thinking… Why does he have to sleep in the nude? He could at least put on some underwear,” Levi complains to you. You can only nod in agreement, not fully recovered from all the laughing.

Other than learning about Mammon’s exhibitionistic tendencies, you actually got some valuable info regarding his speed. If you ever risk starting a fight with him again, you better keep that in mind. Levi suddenly confirms your thoughts.

“You didn’t see earlier, but once Mammon distracted me with you, he ran away extremely fast. No one, aside from Lucifer and Beel, has that kind of speed. I have no chance of catching him and getting my money back,” the demon sighs and stares at you with a waiting look on his face. “But if, say, a human made a pact with Mammon and bound him to their service… Then he’d have to do whatever that human told him to. Which means that if you make a pact with Mammon and order him to give me back my money, he wouldn’t have any choice but to do it, hehehe,” Levi giggles with excitement.

Whoa-whoa-whoa, hold on a second. Do pacts with demons actually exist? And it basically makes them a human’s slave? That sounds too good to be true. You need to get more info on this first.

“What exactly do you mean by 'making a pact'? Will I have to promise to give Mammon my soul, just to make him pay you?” You ask Levi.

He stops his giggling, changes his pose on a chair to an even more uncomfortable one, and explains, “Selling your soul out isn’t always necessary. It depends on what’s in the pact,” Levi frowns. “But, well, you need to give SOMETHING to the demon to make it worth the exchange, so it’s pretty much inevitable. If you don’t want to give up your soul, then I’ll tell you how you can negotiate with Mammon.”

You are prepared to hear a ton of bullshit that won’t help you with negotiating at all. What are the chances that Levi won’t lie to you? Is he really so desperate to get his money back that he is ready to sell out his brother to slavery? You can’t also be sure that you can avoid losing your soul if you try to make a pact. Is it really possible to replace the soul with something valuable for a demon? You've never heard of such cases; pacts with demons in any piece of media you've read or watched always demanded a soul. But it won’t hurt to listen to what else Levi has to say:

“Okay, color me interested. What do you have on Mammon?”

“I take it this means you think this plan of mine could work, right? Excellent! You may be a human, but still, you show some promise!” Levi straightens up in his chair, looking reassured. You are not sure if it was a bad attempt to butter you up or if Leviathan lacks validation just like Mammon, and he genuinely got excited.

“Before I can decide whether it can work or not, I need to hear all the info you’ve got. So what are you suggesting?” You repeat your question. You are quite surprised by how much patience you have today. But you have a goal, and now you can finally see a way to reach it. 

“If you just walk up to Mammon and ask him to make a pact with you, he’ll never agree,” Levi starts explaining. “No, you need some leverage… a bargaining chip. You will offer him something he wants so badly that he’d do ANYTHING to get it,” the demon smiles cunningly. He leans closer to you and starts whispering, “Lucifer has something that Mammon wants, something he’d kill to get. I’m referring to Mammon’s credit card, which Lucifer took away from him.”

Yep, it is a ton of bullshit that won’t help you in the slightest. But Levi doesn’t give up.

“Hey, I see that look on your face, I know what you are thinking. 'A credit card? Pff, why would he care so much about something like that?' Well, you’ve got no idea just how much he depends on that thing,” the demon sighs. “Let’s see, what did he used to call it again? 'My one true love'? It was something like that. It was like he thought it was a woman. He probably named it. I bet he even slept with it. Gross,” Levi cringes from the mere thought. “That idiot used it constantly, never stopped. Eventually, Lucifer had enough of his behavior, so he confiscated it. So if you decide to proceed with the pact, you need to find out where he’s hidden it.”

“Hmm, easier said than done. Not impossible, though,” you say, deep in thought. The whole credit card thing sounded incredibly stupid. Just stupid enough to be true. Getting info from Lucifer will be extremely difficult, but you're still willing to give it a shot. But only after you learn more about pacts from a more credible source. Levi could ‘forget’ to tell you a lot of details about pacts, for the sake of making them more appealing. You need to know what you are getting yourself into.

“All right, I’ll give it more thought and tell you my answer tomorrow.” Levi nods, accepting your conditions. “Now, tell me where my room is so I could leave you alone.”

“The guest room is on the first floor, near the kitchen. You won’t miss it; it has a black door with a silver handle,” Levi replies. He already turned his back on you and started playing the game he mentioned earlier.

Finally, you got a simple and short answer, without long stories and speeches. Beel is your favorite in this regard: his replies about human flesh were short and on point. The rest of the brothers could learn a lot from his example.

You immediately leave Levi’s room and go back to the first floor. You take the wrong turn and accidentally stumble upon the library instead of the kitchen, but other than that, you find your room rather quickly.

Once you open the black door with a fancy doorknob with a picture of a skull on it, you finally get to see where you are going to live for a whole year. The first thing you notice is a big tree growing from the floor right next to the bed. Its branches and leaves cover the whole ceiling of the room, just like the water did in Levi’s. The tree trunk and branches are decorated with all kinds of lamps and garland lights. Honestly, the sight is simply breathtaking. Elegant furniture, a big soft bed with light-purple bedsheets and colorful pillows, climbing plants all over the walls, and zero creepy paintings. You love it all. You even have a private bathroom, all to yourself. The room couldn’t be any more perfect.

You look out the window to check out the sight. It is absolutely wonderful: you can see not only the back garden of the house but also the distant lights of a city. It's so incredible that it takes you long enough to realize: the window can’t be here. There is a library behind this wall, and as far as you understand, your room is situated in the middle of the house. So is it an illusion?

You open the window and stick your hand out. You feel a very real chilly wind, the same you felt while walking with Mammon.

Your exhaustion is now gone; you need answers. You take a white stone out of the flower pot and throw it out the window. You watch attentively where it lands, and then head out to the exit of the house. After a brief scan of the surroundings, you find the familiar spot in the garden. A white stone is lying right where it's supposed to, between a red, unknown plant and a bench. You raise your head to look at the window, but the place where your room should be is already occupied by a familiar window of the library. It is slightly open and not very high, so with the help of a bench, you successfully climb it and appear in the library.

You decide that your window is functional only from one side and is somehow connected to this one. But your thoughts are interrupted by a scream and the sound of a cup landing on the floor. You raise your head, still sitting on the windowsill, and see Satan’s shocked face.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He yells at you, his eyes shining with an unnaturally bright green light.

“I wanted to know if I could get into my room this way. Apparently, the guest room and the library share the same window,” you reply calmly.

“I thought someone was trying to break into the house,” Satan sighs, visibly less furious. He gets on his knees and begins to collect the scattered pieces of the former cup. “You are lucky that I didn’t attack you; you would be dead in an instant.”

“Yeah, I’m really lucky that you are such a scaredy-cat and started shouting instead of attacking,” you grin mockingly. Satan stops collecting the broken cup and raises his gaze at you. You expect to see the bright green light again, but it isn’t there. The demon looks surprised and maybe even amused.

“It takes a lot of courage or a lot of stupidity to say such things to a demon,” Satan smiles, but his eyes don’t.

“Don’t mind me, just the sight of a mighty demon kneeling in front of me went to my head.” You pick yourself up from the windowsill and go to the door. When you start to open it, the hand appears from behind and slams it shut. You turn around to face Satan, who is now blocking your exit; his arm is right next to your face. He stands so close to you that you have to lean on the door. This pose would be even more threatening if you weren’t a little bit taller than Satan, but it doesn’t seem to bother him.

“You think you can break my favorite cup, spill all the tea on the floor, call me a scaredy-cat, and walk away like nothing happened?” He says it right into your face. The green light is still absent, but Satan is pissed off nonetheless.

“Yeah, it isn’t very neighborly of me, is it?” You are trying to find the same energy you felt when Mammon was ready to attack you, but it isn’t there. Either you are very tired or you don’t sense Satan’s intention to tear you apart. Anyway, the fight is not happening, but you need to end this conversation somehow. You don’t want to act like a total dick on your first day (too late, Cas), so you offer a compromise, “How about I buy you another cup? What was it like?”

Satan unexpectedly blushes and backs off. “Never mind,” he mumbles, opens the door, making you move out of his way, and leaves you alone in the room. You have no idea what happened, but since he refused your offer, you could at least look for splinters, which Satan didn’t finish picking up. You won’t bother cleaning the tea from the floor since you left your trusty mop in Levi’s bedroom.

You kneel and pick up all the splinters, but as you are about to toss them in the trash, you notice a fragment of an image that was on this cup. It's a cat, a cute cartoonish kitten. Now you understand Satan’s reaction. After this revelation, you just have to buy him a new one. You want to see the look on his face when you give it to him. You bet it will be priceless.

Cackling quietly, you return to your room. It is time to go through your stuff and make a list of the things you need.

First, you check what you have on you. Your trusty knife with its sheath is where it belongs, attached to your shin, hidden beneath your jeans. Your metal brass knuckles are in the pocket of your hoodie, as well as a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Then you take off your sneakers; a little jackknife is still here, good.

The only things missing are your phone, headphones, and keys from your apartment. The loss of these things is not critical, but unpleasant. Especially the headphones, you won’t make it through the year without music, and you are the type who doesn’t like to turn your music on without headphones, for everyone to hear. Except for when you are dancing, of course.

Next on the list are everyday necessities. Lucifer promised that all your needs would be taken care of, so you hope that he will keep his word.

Unfortunately, you don’t find any soap or toothpaste, not even toilet paper in the bathroom. Your closet is also empty, except for some kind of uniform, but it isn’t enough. You can’t even change your underwear or brush your hair. You don’t have anything except for weapons and cigarettes. And if there were some kind of pocket money for you to use, Mammon, as your technical supervisor, must’ve already stolen it. Nice.

You can’t possibly rest without dealing with this problem first. So you start wandering around the house. After all, if Satan already came home, Lucifer might have returned as well. But you can’t open any of the doors on the second floor, and the common rooms on the first floor are all empty, so you are left to your own devices. And it's never a good thing.

You return all your belongings to where they were and leave the house.

Chapter Text

Life's a game, but it's not fair
I break the rules, so I don't care
So I keep doin' my own thing
Walkin' tall against the rain

JAY-Z – Run This Town

The chilly wind is playing with your hair, so you put a hood on to hide it. And your face as well. You have no idea what time it is, but you hope that shops are still open.

You decide to go further into the city, far away from RAD and the House to avoid unwanted meetings with the brothers. The further you go, the more demons you meet on your way. They are not as boring as the ones from the student council. City folk consist of either proper monsters or humanoids with monster features. You meet fully human-like demons from time to time as well, but they are not as numerous.

The lights of shops, clubs, and cafés fill your vision with a kaleidoscope of colors. Stars are shining brightly, like diamonds. A perfect moment to put on headphones and listen to some music, hiding from the noise of a crowd. But you don’t have any, so you can only sing to yourself, under your breath.  

You stumble upon a big supermarket that should have all the things you need. You just have to get money. You walk further for another ten minutes and stop in an alley between buildings, hiding in the shadows. Then lean on the brick wall of the building and wait.

It takes you two minutes to notice a perfect victim: a demon with goat-like features, including horns and a little, cute tail. Shiny jewelry and expensive-looking clothes suggest that the demon can definitely afford luxurious things. They are holding a hot dog in one hand and a phone in the other. The demon is fully preoccupied with talking to whoever is on their phone and keeping a hot dog away from people in the crowd. They have no bag or backpack, so all the stuff should be inside their pockets, including money.

You quickly dive into the crowd, chasing a demon. It takes only a second to put your hand in their pocket, find their wallet, and grab the prize. Another second, and you're already gone, hiding in another alley, checking the wallet. You have no idea whether it's a nice catch or not, since you are not familiar with local money. You hope that it will be enough, and head back to the supermarket. You discreetly toss the documents on the ground as you go, along with a credit card. You have no use for them, so maybe some kind soul will find them and return to the owner through the police. You just hope that there is no anti-thief magic in this world that will lead straight to you.

Upon arriving at the supermarket and looking at the prices, you come to the conclusion that it was a reasonably average catch. You can buy everything you need for now with this money, but you can’t afford any clothes, even the cheapest ones.

It is a good supermarket where you can find a little bit of everything. There is also a toy department, full of stuff for kids and cute trinkets. You notice a stall with children's books and head there. Sure, you could always check out the library in the House of Lamentation for answers about demons and pacts. But children's books will be much more useful, providing you with basic information about the world and its rules without unnecessary details. You find a great book full of colorful illustrations about different kinds of demons you may encounter in the future. The variety of demons and their powers is astonishing, but you must learn that to survive. Geography, basic history, biology… You need to know it all and as soon as possible.

You finally find the most important book on your list: “Everything About Humans”. A quick check proves your guess: there is a chapter about pacts, exactly what you need. You will buy this book anyway, just to learn how demons view humans, but you quickly look through the pages to confirm whether Leviathan lied to you or not.

To your surprise, the demon didn’t hide anything from you. Since souls are so precious in the demon world, they are usually used in transactions. But actually, almost anything can be used instead of a soul, as long as both a human and a demon agree. There is also a paragraph about pact marks that appear on a human’s body. Apparently, the process is rather painful, but you are now sure that it'll be worth it.

You take your goods and head to a self-service cash register when you notice a stall with cups. You kind of need to find a new one for Satan, you recall.

There are a lot of cups with cats. It seems demons like cats as much as humans. They look normal, the same as they were back home. You wonder if they differ at all. You choose a cup full of small images of cats; each one is not like the other, depicting all the possible breeds. It looks nice, so Satan should like it. Not that you actually care. You're buying this thing just to tease him anyway.

You're finally done with your purchases and can go home. You decide to take a scenic route and go through a park. And it's a huge mistake.

Apparently, it's rather late already; the night is in its darkest phase. The park is almost completely empty, you meet only occasional runners and dog owners. Dogs, by the way, look normal as well, if you ignore the fact that they are twice as big. You walk through the park, imagining giant cats and realizing that they already exist in the Human world, when you are stopped by some demon.

He looks like a man with a bull’s head, his size is around the same as Diavolo’s. The main concern are certainly his horns, wide and huge, they must hit like a truck. But why are you always so pessimistic, Cas? Maybe this fine gentleman just wants to ask what time it is.

“You,” the gentleman moos at you. “Give me everything you've got, now!”

“Everything I’ve got, huh,” you slowly put down a bag with your purchases on the floor, and with the same motion, you pull out a knife from under your jeans. You hide this action behind the bag, then straighten up, standing with your left side of the body closer to the enemy. Such a stand allows you to hide your right hand with a knife. You approach the demon slightly, just to get away from the bag and avoid stomping on it in the middle of the fight. The hood is taken off, to give you as much line of sight as possible. You stop, waiting for your opponent to attack.

And attack he will. Judging from his gait, the gentleman is quite drunk and just looking for a fight rather than stealing your stuff. You shouldn’t take him lightly, though; who knows what abilities he has?

He tries to strike you with his left hand but misses. You easily avoid the next two hits as well, feeling more confident about your chances. He is slow, but how powerful are his attacks? You decide to try to block the fourth hit with your forearm, and it's your second mistake. He doesn’t break it but gets quite close to it, the bruise will be simply enormous. You curse and create some distance between yourself and the bull to wait out the staggering wave of pain. It seems the demon hits twice as hard as a human of his size would, you have experience. Another info to remember and experiment with.

You dodge the fifth and sixth hits, but due to the pain, you do it much slower. You are too tired to continue this fight for too long, so you decide to end it. Right after the sixth hit, you squat and hit the side of his knee with a knife. The demon moos loudly and attacks, lowering his head and pointing his horns at you. You jump out of his way, raising your hand in the process and scratching his eye with a knife. Hot blood splashes everywhere, including your face. The bull can’t stop himself from crashing into the lamppost at full speed; his horns crumple the metallic pillar.

You stand up, ready for round two, but the fight is over. You hear sobbing from under the lamppost and approach carefully to check on the demon.

“You alright, man?” you ask, hesitating to come closer.

“It huuurts,” a massive demon cries. He definitely sobered up and now regrets his decisions. You want to examine his wounds, but stop yourself. What if he has some tricks up his sleeve?

You say, “Give me a second,” and go to your bag to look for a book about demons. The bull looks at you with his healthy eye.

“What are you doing?” he asks, sobbing.

“Checking what you are capable of. I’m not planning on dying tonight,” you respond, looking for a bull in the book. And you find him! Horns, strength, bad vision, talent for mathematics… Nothing too suspicious, you decide, and look back at the demon. “I will come closer and check your wounds. But if you try something funny, you will lose the second eye, permanently. And your balls, as a special bonus. Are we clear?”

The demon actively nods but stops immediately – the motion causes pain in his damaged eye. You approach, still holding a knife, and check his head first. “What’s your name, pal?” you ask to avoid uncomfortable silence.

“B-Bob… Yours?”

“None of your business, pal,” you reply. You have no desire to tell your name to a stranger who attacked you. You are not mad though, otherwise, he would have much more wounds. By the way, what’s up with his name? It’s way too normal for a demon. You expected something grander, like an epic name from Greek mythology and shit. You stop yourself from thinking about names and focus on your patient.

His eye is relatively fine, you scratched mostly the area around it. If demonic regeneration is as good as you think it is, he will be okay. His knee is actually worse than his eye, you were attacking with the intention to deal as much damage as possible, while the hit on his eye was mostly accidental. The demon can stand with a lot of effort, but it's extremely painful.

“All right, you are coming with me. I live rather close, so I’ll patch you up there.” You stand up, ready to go.

“M-maybe I should go to the hospital?” Bob nervously suggests.

“So that they could see suspicious-looking cuts and call the police? No, Bob, I will heal you myself. Promise, you will be good as new!” You lift your bag and give it to the demon. “Here, I know that you are yearning for a chance to apologize. Help me to carry the bag and we are even.” You could easily carry it yourself, but you want to be an ass, just because.

“But my knee…!” Bob tries to protest.

“…will be good as new when I’m done with it. Now, move your butt!”

And the two of you begin walking toward the House of Lamentation. You put your knife in your pocket, in case you need it. The closer you are, the more Bob gets nervous. Finally, he breaks the silence.

“Are you sure this is where you live? This House actually belongs to seven brothers, who…”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m their new roommate. Don’t sweat it, focus on carrying my bag.”

You approach the House and ring a bell. It's really unfortunate that you don’t have the keys yet. Asmo opens the door, looks at you, and drops his jaw to the floor.

“Wh-! Tiel??? What happened?” He exclaims, leaving the door wide open and moving out of your way.

“Just went for some shopping,” you reply, entering the House. You glance at yourself in the mirror and immediately understand why Asmo was so shocked. Half of your face and your poor hoodie is covered in Bob’s blood, only your jeans and sneakers avoided damage. “Ah, don’t worry, the blood’s not mine.”

“Whose is it then?” Lucifer walks out of the living room, examining you. Mammon is walking right after him, babbling away.

“See? I told ya that the human is fine. No need to hang me from the ceilin’ anymore, right?..” He stops in his tracks once he sees you. His eyes widen to a comically big size.

The rest of the family follows him out of the living room and stops as wide-eyed as Mammon. Beel even lost several chips from how wide his mouth opened. The whole family is here to meet you, how considerate of them.

“Yeah, about that,” you start replying to Lucifer’s question. You turn your head toward the door and yell, “Bob! Where the hell are you? Come in! And don’t forget the bag!”

Poor Bob slowly waddles through the door. He seems overwhelmed by all the demons around. You start with the main question, “Lucifer, do you have a first-aid kit here somewhere?”

“Yes, it is in the bathroom on the second floor,” he responds calmly. He fixes his gaze on a bull-demon behind you, staring at him with murderous intent.

“Okay, thanks.” You turn back to Bob. “Alright, do you see this corridor over here?” You point in the direction of a kitchen. “Leave the bag in the room with a black door, then we'll go on the second floor and patch you up. And if I find a single stain of blood in the bedroom… well, you know the drill.” You casually threaten Bob while rummaging through the contents of the bag in his hands. You finally find what you were looking for and let the demon go.

“S-sure,” Bob replies and starts wobbling to your room. He understood that arguing with you doesn’t solve anything, good. You could bring the first-aid kit to him, instead of making the bull climb the stairs. But your arm really hurts (technically it’s caused by your own stupidity, but you ignore your inner voice), so you want to act like an ass again.

While Bob is busy, you go to Satan and offer him a brand-new, shiny cup.

“Here, I thought you might like it. Sorry for the old one,” you say. Satan silently looks at the cup, then back at you, then at the cup again. He finally notices all the cute cats pictured on it and adorably blushes, much heavier than before. Maybe he feels uncomfortable because of all his brothers around.

“Thanks…” he says under his breath without looking at you. He takes the cup out of your hands and presses it to his chest.

“You are welcome,” you grin. His reaction was worth every single coin you spent on this little trinket.

Bob returns to the scene, ready to conquer the stairs. You lead the way, remembering where the bathroom is. It was the only door you managed to open on the second floor earlier.

“Castiel.” Lucifer might’ve sensed that you were thinking about him. You turn your head in his direction. “The dinner is in an hour.” You nod and continue climbing the stairs.

You and Bob reach the bathroom, find a first-aid kit, and start the procedure. Demonic medicine is fully unknown to you, but luckily, all meds have instructions on how to use them. You know how to deal with all kinds of wounds, and Bob is familiar with most of the meds. Thanks to your joint effort, you patch Bob up rather professionally. His eye has already begun to heal. Demons’ regeneration is no joke.

You decide to check your arm later, after dinner. You don’t want to show weakness in front of any demon.

You lead Bob toward the exit. As soon as he steps on the porch, he becomes more relaxed. These brothers really scared him.

“Hey, Bob. Are the brothers some kind of celebrities, or what?” you ask, trying to get more info on your neighbors.

“You don’t know?” he asks, shocked. After seeing that you are not joking, he explains, “They are the Seven Rulers of the Devildom, the most powerful allies of Lord Diavolo. Everybody knows them, and reasonable people prefer to avoid them at all costs.” He looks around himself nervously, as if fearing that Lucifer might appear behind his back. “Take care, Castiel. Whoever sent you to this house wants you dead for sure,” and with these parting words, he waddles away.

You close the door and go to your room, planning to take a shower and wash Bob’s blood away. But you are in for a surprise: once you enter the room, you are greeted by Asmo, who is rudely sitting on your bed.

“Hi there, sweetie!” Asmo chirps to you. You were hoping to have a safe space all to yourself, but it seemed it wasn’t possible. You close the door and turn to Asmo, raising an eyebrow in question. “I assumed that you would wash the blood with water since you don’t have anything better, correct?” He jumps out of bed and walks toward you, holding a pink cosmetic bag in his hands. You simply nod. You are so tired that you don’t want to talk with anyone, especially with loud and cheerful Asmodeus. “I brought you some favorite products of mine to help you with cleaning. Do you know how damaging blood is to your skin? It's absolutely awful, you need to be sooo careful with this stuff, especially with your delicate human skin! These products are easy to use, but it will be better if I help you apply them for your first time. How does it sound?” Asmo asks softly. Inviting. His short pink robe is open widely on his chest, showing his sexy body. A few more inches and you'll see his nipples.

So that is what is happening here. You'll have to speak up, because your silent treatment doesn’t bother Asmodeus in the slightest.

“Asmo, I’m honored to be your target for the night, but I’m so tired that I won’t be able to get my dick up. Let’s shake sheets some other time, okay?” you reasonably suggest to the demon.

And you get the reaction you weren’t expecting. Asmo looks pissed off. He stands in front of you, squeezing his bag in his hands. “So you think that if I’m the Avatar of Lust, all I ever do is think about sex?” he asks, his voice is shaking.

You could spend your precious time assuring Asmo that he is the most caring demon in the world, and you are just an ungrateful fucker. And that you didn’t want to be an ass to him for no reason. But if it makes him get out of your room and leave you alone, you're ready to be intentionally rude.

“Mm… Yeah?” you reply as indifferently as possible.

Your calculations were correct. Asmo throws his pink bag in your face, storming toward the door. He opens it and spits out before leaving, “First use the blue one, then the red one, asshole,” and shuts the door so hard that the lamps on your tree almost fall off.

You sigh. Finally, you are alone. You'll consider whether you should ask Asmo for forgiveness tomorrow. For now, you wash yourself in the shower, use the products the demon left (you now smell like an apple pie and hope it won’t provoke Beel), and… You don’t know what to wear.

The hoodie is too dirty. The uniform in the closet is too valuable to put on right now. You are not sure if you can eat without falling asleep, you will definitely stain the uniform in this state. It's the only piece of clothing available. You want to keep it clean.

Besides, you need to learn where Lucifer hid Mammon’s card. And a little performance can help your cause.

You enter the dining room at the exact time Lucifer told you. All the brothers are already here; nobody wants to anger Lucifer after such a stressful day.

The first one to notice is Leviathan, he chokes on his soup, eyes popping out of his face. Mammon is the second one, with a very similar reaction. Asmo, Beel, Satan, and, finally, Lucifer. He doesn’t choke on his food though, unfortunately. He doesn’t show any signs of surprise. But when you sit at the table between him and Levi, he is the first to ask, “Why are you not wearing clothes?”

You smile as innocently as possible. “Don’t be so dramatic, I’m wearing jeans. By the way, can we have a talk after dinner?”

“…Sure,” he replies and returns to his food.

It's a fun dinner. You constantly feel demonic gazes on your body, but they all look away as soon as you start staring at them back. Asmo’s reactions are the funniest. He is still pissed off, but he can’t help himself and keeps looking at you. Then he angrily looks away with an annoyed ‘huff’ and stuffs something in his mouth to make himself focus on the food. But after he swallows whatever he is eating, his gaze wanders back to you, and the cycle starts again.

The demonic food is surprisingly tasty. Weird-looking, sure, but tasty. You were afraid that you'd have to eat something like that furry octopus from earlier, but there is nothing too disgusting on the table. A lot of products, especially vegetables and fruits, are just freaky versions of the ones from the Human world.

Mammon stares at you even more than others, especially when you are switching dishes. It turns out,= that he is the one in charge of the food today. When you compliment the meal, he turns away from you, blushing slightly, and mumbles, “Whatever, like I care what some stupid human thinks…”   

After dinner, you and Lucifer go to the music room, a spacious place full of musical instruments and recordings of any melody you could think of. As long as it’s classics, of course.

You and Lucifer sit in front of each other at the coffee table, each one has a cup of tea. You're still half-naked.

“So? What is so urgent that it can’t wait till tomorrow?” Lucifer asks, sipping his tea.

“As you can see, I have some problems with clothes,” you start complaining. “I finally managed to get the bare necessities that you earlier promised to provide me. But it doesn’t matter. I’m grateful for the fashionable uniform, but I need more than that. I am not thrilled to beg you for money, but I came up with the solution.” You pause to drink some tea. Lucifer looks at you curiously, waiting for you to continue. “Earlier this day, Mammon was whining to me about some credit card of his, 'one true love' and all that. He said that you confiscated it and hid somewhere. So what I am suggesting: you wanted to punish Mammon for failing to look after me? Let me use his credit card to buy some clothes. I swear to buy only the things that I really need, and only at a reasonable price. I will also provide you with all the checks after my shopping.” You finish your speech. It's hard for you to predict what Lucifer’s reaction will be. He is a total enigma, so you are preparing for the worst.

But the worst doesn’t happen. Lucifer looks content, he even cracks a smile of approval.

“Well done. Yes, indeed, I confiscated the credit card Mammon possesses as an element of educational training. But it wouldn’t be fair if I just gave it to you, don’t you think?” He sips his tea once again. “If you solve… a riddle, of sorts, you are free to use the card however you please.”

“Fine, what is your riddle?”

“When I took Mammon’s credit card, I froze it so he could never use it again.”

“Is that… a riddle?” You are confused. Your brain is not capable of solving puzzles right now.

“Yes, it is. I won’t hold you back any longer, you should rest after such an eventful day.” He gets up, taking both of your empty cups. You wave him goodbye, but he stops you at the door.

“Sorry, one more thing,” he takes out the key and gives it to you. “A key from the house. Welcome to the House of Lamentation, Castiel.”

It's a heavy metal key, simple but elegant. Now you are actually a part of the House. You give Lucifer a tired smile and go to your bedroom.

You can finally check your arm. It is quite swollen; a huge bruise occupies the majority of your forearm. None of the brothers commented on your injury during dinner, and you're kind of grateful for it. You don’t think that it's safe to use demonic medicine on your skin. On the other hand, Asmo’s beauty products haven’t caused any harm so far. But you decide that the pain is bearable, and your arm can heal itself just fine.

The instant your head touches the pillow, you fall into the deepest sleep of your life.

Tomorrow is a new day.

***

Your mind wakes up faster than your body. You are yet to open your eyes but already aware of your surroundings. Somebody is in the room with you. It takes you a minute to remember everything that happened yesterday, but it feels more like a fever dream.

You lie on your stomach, facing the door. So if you really want you can slightly open your eyes and learn who intruded in your personal space. But it's too simple, and you don’t want to kill the intrigue just yet.

Someone approaches your bed and stops. You feel a familiar poking on your back. It can be only one person – Levi with his mop. Again.

“Levi, I didn’t know you were such a pervert,” you mumble, opening your eyes. You were correct: it is indeed Levi, and it is indeed a mop. Levi looks shocked by your commentary.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” he screams, making the last traces of sleepiness disappear.

“Didn’t I tell you that if you poke me with this thing ever again, I will shove it right up your nonexistent butt?” you remind him, slowly standing up. Levi takes a few steps back, almost knocking down one of the numerous plants in the room. “So I hope you came prepared,” you grin, approaching him.

“D-don’t come closer, you psycho!” The demon points a mop at you to keep you where you are and prevent from getting closer. “I just came to wake you up, you are about to miss your first class!”

You stop obediently. Nobody told you when and where your classes start, but you don’t care either way. It was clearly the responsibility of the demon brothers to provide you with guidance. So you won’t be punished for being late. You notice that Levi doesn’t wear his uniform.

“Aren’t you going?” You ask, opening your closet.

“I study at home for now. It’s clearly a superior way of receiving education, since it lets me be as far away from madmen like you as possible!” He is still holding the mop defensively, ready to use it if you force him.

“Lucky you…” you say, taking off your jeans that were on you while you were sleeping. You hear an ungodly screech from where Levi is standing.

“W-why!… you!...” He tries to communicate with you, but you broke something inside him.

“I don’t know. I assumed that you stayed for the show, otherwise, why are you still here?” you ask, hiding your grin and putting your uniform on. A tie? Hell no. Your chest needs to breathe, so you leave your shirt slightly unbuttoned.

In your defense, Levi can leave any time he wants, he is the one blocking the door, not you. He blushes, screeches, and hisses, but stays right where he is.

“I! Just!... You talked to Lucifer yesterday, I just want to ask if you learned something about… You know… The thing!” The more clothes you put on yourself, the better Levi is at communicating. Next time he starts talking to you about something nerdy, you will just take off your clothes to shut him up, you decide.

“I did actually.” You finish dressing up and head to the bathroom. Before starting your morning routine, you turn to Levi and ask, “Be a good demon and make a simple black tea. I will share everything I know right after.”

“I’m not your servant!” the demon protests. He can’t believe how impudent you are.

“Then you will never see your money ever again,” you threaten him, turning on the water. “With the info I have, I can easily make a pact without your assistance. But since it was your idea, I will let you take part in the whole thing and make Mammon pay you. I think a cup of tea is not a big price for that. Your choice.”

Levi hisses at you and walks away. He returns with your order in several minutes. The demon was definitely watching you at the dinner yesterday, because the tea he brought matched your tastes perfectly.

“See? I told you that you would be a great maid,” you smile contently, hot tea is the best way to start a day. Along with teasing dangerous demons, of course.

“Hehe, I actually spat in it, so yeah, enjoy,” Levi giggles, waiting for your reaction. But you are not bothered in the slightest.

“Jokes on you, I’m into this shit,” you reply, continuing to drink your tea.

“What?! Ewwww, you're so gross!” Levi cringes, his face shows an extreme level of disgust.

“All right, let’s quit fooling around, we have business to discuss,” you change the subject. You may already have missed your first lesson, but you still need to show up at the Academy. The demon immediately becomes serious. You repeat everything you heard from Lucifer, including a strange riddle. Neither you nor Levi knows how to solve it.

“You know Lucifer much better than me; is there anything unusual about this phrase? Maybe he literally froze it, for example, tossed the card on the highest and coldest mountain, or something?” you ask.

“I’m… not sure. Look, you really should go now if you don’t want to piss Lucifer off.” The demon looks nervously at the clock in your room. “As for the card… I need to think about it. If he really wanted to stop Mammon from using it, he definitely made sure that the card is incredibly hard to find. A deadly cold mountain full of bloodthirsty monsters certainly fits the bill. We actually have one, not too far away. Ugh, why Lucifer of all people was the one who took it? It’s so not fair, we will never find it…”

“All right, that’s what we will do,” you notice that Levi starts to sink into his negative thoughts. You can’t allow it, you need results, not a ton of whining. “Let’s have a little competition. We both come up with the places where the card can be. With our combined brainpower, we will find the right place, for sure. And whoever guesses the right place first is the winner. The loser will have to make morning tea, or whatever the winner prefers, for… let’s say, two weeks. Deal?”

“Deal!” the demon’s mood clearly improves. After you made him brew tea earlier, Levi definitely wants to make you do the same.

You can relax now; the boy will twist his brains for a whole day to win. You hurt his ego after all, he wants his revenge. And for a small price of fourteen cups of some drink, you avoid any brain work. Sometimes it’s more entertaining to make others solve your problems.

You get to RAD by the time the first lesson ends and a break starts. Upon entering the building, you are met by a giant, full-sized statue of Diavolo. From both sides of the monument, there are stairs that lead to the second floor.

Stone Diavolo differs from his real counterpart. The monument has wings and a bare torso; the facial expression is much more serious and noble. Whoever made this statue is a real simp for their future king, and you appreciate the work they've put into his abs.

You stop gawking at the monument, there will be plenty of time for that during your stay. Right now you need to find someone who can tell where the fuck you're supposed to go.

You start wandering the halls and corridors of RAD. You are surrounded by monsters of all kinds, just like during your trip to the city. But this time you can’t hide your face from them. Your dear hoodie is lying somewhere on the floor of your bedroom, soaked in blood. And the uniform definitely wasn’t designed for socially awkward people. So you have to wade through the crowd, feeling all the curious gazes of demons. They clearly know who you are. A human must be a fascinating curiosity, and you can forgive some degree of inquisitiveness. But the main question is: are they just curious or planning to eat you?

You would think that Diavolo’s authority should be enough to keep the demons at bay. After all, it isn’t even the outside world, it’s the Academy grounds, Diavolo’s grounds. But your hopes are shattered the second you hear two demons gossiping behind your back.

“Hey, check it out. That’s the human everyone’s been talking about. You think that’s true what they say, that Mammon became a babysitter?”

“Well, if so, then I’d say that actually works out great, doncha think? If we wait and strike when he’s not paying attention, he’ll never figure out it was us. C’mon, we should devour the human before Beel does,” the second demon replies to their friend.

You pretend that you are looking at the board with a map of RAD, but actually pay attention to the pair of demons. You didn’t manage to check out the book with detailed characteristics on each demonic creature and now really regret it.

One of them has red skin and yellow eyes, too big for their head. The eyes are too noticeable and too bright, there is definitely some trick to them. It doesn’t matter if they turn you to stone or have a power of hypnosis – just avoid looking at them.

The second demon has a very sharp tail and extremely long claws. You bet they can perfectly slice you up within seconds. You have a real disadvantage here: Bob was an easy target, massive and strong, but nothing you had never encountered before. But you've never fought against claws and tails. You have no idea about their range, attack power, or how fast they hit. Plus, your arm is still a nuisance. If even one hit reaches it, you will be paralyzed with pain.

But if you don’t show that you are not to be trifled with, you will be ambushed soon enough and killed. If not by these demons, then by others. You are not planning to hide behind someone’s back, either; it’s against your very nature.

You put your hand on the place where you hid your knife: instead of attaching it to your shin like before, you fixed the weapon on your thigh. The coat of the uniform was long enough to hide the sheath beneath it. You were not planning on starting a fight that soon, especially with so many disadvantages, but you have to. Otherwise, you will be dead by the end of your first day.

You make a little detour, entering the canteen from one door and exiting from another, right behind the demons’ backs. They are too invested in planning the ambush to notice that you are no longer near the map. You must strike the one with the claws and tail first, he seems the most dangerous to you. You can only hope that once the commotion starts, other demons around you won’t join the fun. It will be a death sentence for you.

You approach, ready to take out your weapon, when all of a sudden, the two demons fall on the floor unconscious. It happens within moments; some demons around you are spooked, but most of them are confused, just like you. Somebody helped you. But who?

“Hey, you there.” You hear a pleasant voice close to you. Too close. How did he sneak up on you so quietly? You turn your head to an unknown man, ready to use your weapon if he does something suspicious.

“What do you want, Snow White?” you ask, looking at the stranger. He is indeed as pale as snow, and not just because of his skin: his hair, complexion, even his eyes lack color. He looks like some deep-sea creature who doesn’t have any melanin because he never sees the sun.

“Hm, not the greeting I expected from a fellow human,” he smiles, putting a hand on his chin.

“Human? Bullshit, you are the most demonic-looking bastard I’ve seen all day.” You narrow your eyes, inspecting him from head to toe. He may not have any wings or horns, but neither do brothers nor Diavolo. And you can feel in your bones that he is much more dangerous than he looks.

“Haha, well, to tell you the truth, there are times when even I’m not so sure whether I’m still a human or not,” he laughs pleasantly, offering you a handshake. “My name’s Solomon, I’m an exchange student, just like you.”

You look at his hand with suspicion. Somehow, you had no problem with touching the Avatar of Wrath himself, but you hesitate to take Solomon’s hand. You shake your head and cross your arms.

“Sorry, not buying it. You are the one who knocked off these demons, aren’t you? No human is capable of that.”

“A human with no magical powers like yourself surely is not capable of doing that, I agree,” he says, taking his hand away. If he is dissatisfied that you refused to greet him, he doesn’t show it. “But you have no idea how many wizards, magicians, and witches exist in the Human World. They mostly prefer a secluded life, far away from the common folk, so it doesn’t surprise me that you never heard of them, Castiel.”

“How do you know my name?” you frown. This guy and Satan are quite similar: all smiles and politeness, but the eyes show their real intentions. Satan’s eyes are burning hot from hidden anger and bloodthirst. While Solomon’s are cold and empty, like he calculates in his mind how to better use you for his benefit. Needless to say, you prefer Satan’s raging warmth over the coldness of Solomon’s manipulations.

“How could I not? You are the star of the day, after all. I have to go now, but please, allow me to give you a little advice: you are in a losing position here at the Academy. Starting a fight without any backup is a death sentence. Your tactic of beating every demon on your way to show strength and scare off the others will only lead to the opposite result. I lived much longer than you could imagine, so you can trust my judgment,” he says, looking for something in your eyes. Maybe for a brain that you (allegedly) don’t have. 

“I believe that since you have lived for so long, you should be used to people telling you to fuck off. So I hope I won’t hurt your feelings with my answer.” You frown even more. Just great, you hoped that the second human who got here would be a normal dude, with whom you could make an alliance against demons. But he turned out to be the Shady Fucker №27. You are the only "normal" one here, and you will have to fight all by yourself, as always. You sigh. No matter how bad your mood is, making enemies for no reason won’t help you in the slightest. “But I am grateful for your help back there. It could’ve ended badly if you hadn’t intervened. So I could treat you to a beer at some bar or something,” you offer rather awkwardly.

“That would be wonderful, but unfortunately, they don’t have beer here,” Solomon smiles at you.

“Wait, what? Like, at all?” you ask, shocked. You don’t drink alcohol regularly, but you feel that it will be necessary to use any possibility of relaxation while living here. And beer is one of your favorite drinks, it just hits the spot. 

“Unfortunately, it is true. The only type of alcohol demons drink is Demonus. It comes in different tastes and varieties, but for humans it’s as intoxicating as juice,” Solomon sighs, clearly also saddened by the lack of ways to get drunk.

“So you are telling me that we are sentenced to a sober life for a whole year?” You scratch the back of your head. “Not gonna lie, that’s not what I expected from literal Hell.”

“Well, luckily the ingredients for creating something simple are easy to find, and you are looking at the best alchemist in all Three Worlds,” Solomon smiles at you, looking like a sly fox.

“Now we are talking!” Your mood changes drastically. You didn’t forget your suspicions about this guy, but you definitely warmed up to him. Shady or not, he is a fellow human. You have to at least try to find common ground, and if you manage to get drunk on homemade alcohol, it will be a pleasant bonus but not the main goal.

You say your goodbyes on a much more pleasant note than expected. You remember that you forgot to ask him about your classes only after Solomon disappears behind the corner. But luckily, you got your help pretty fast.

“Castiel.” Lucifer appears right behind your back, scaring you to bits and taking away several years of your miserable life. You manage to contain your scream, but you are embarrassed nonetheless. “Where have you been? Did you forget that you are supposed to study, not sleep the whole day?” he says so coldly that someone more sensitive would be crying already. You are not about to cry, but the demon definitely spoiled your mood.

“Nobody told me anything about my studies, and I was too busy yesterday to take the initiative and ask around. Don’t take it the wrong way, though, I’m actually really interested in starting my education. So, if you can give me my curriculum, that would be awesome,” you say, as politely as possible. Your arm starts to hurt really badly, so you want to avoid the lecture from Lucifer and go to class, where you can suffer somewhere in the corner.

“Hm, something is not right, you are too polite.” Lucifer narrows his eyes in suspicion. For fuck’s sake, can’t he just let it slide and leave you alone already? This overprotective brat just can’t take it easy. You let your irritation show on your face. “Is something the matter?” Lucifer cocks his eyebrow. If it was any other person, you would believe that he was worried about you. But it's Lucifer with soulless eyes, he just cares about the amount of paperwork he would have if you dropped dead on the ground from some human disease. But you are not going to show him your weakness.

“Look, man, if you won’t give me my curriculum, I will find someone who will. Bye for now,” you turn around, ready to go… somewhere.

“Wait,” Lucifer stops you, as expected. “Here, your next class is on the second floor, so you better hurry up.” He gives you papers with the schedule of your classes, a map of RAD, and even some textbooks. You have no idea where he got all this from; his hands were empty a second ago.

“Thanks,” you express your gratitude, and finally go to class. Lucifer stays behind, looking at you, lost in thought.

Chapter Text

I break chains all by myself
Won't let my freedom rot in hell
Hey! I'ma keep running
'Cause a winner don't quit on themselves

Beyoncé – Freedom

Finally, a day full of endless learning is almost over. You didn’t limit yourself to just studying in class, no. When you got home, you immediately started working on your tasks. You had a feeling that because of the chaotic nature of the Devildom and its inhabitants you had to prepare your tasks beforehand. Otherwise, you may not have a chance to get to them at all.

The classes were not as exciting as you had hoped. Nobody has taught you any magical spells so far. Among the classes that were mentioned in your curriculum there were potions, curses, the art of seduction… That could be fun, but so far it has only been theoretical. You were not sure that you're even capable of doing the practical part, given that you have zero magic. Even potions require some degree of magical power, otherwise the drink will be useless, despite all the ingredients being mixed correctly.  

The calming atmosphere of your room was perfect for studying. Arguably, the library would be even better, but there was a chance to cross paths with somebody. It was a rare occurrence to be alone, and you didn’t want to waste it.

After you were done with your homework, you decided to look through the books you bought earlier, prioritizing the book about types of demons. You barely managed to avoid any confrontation on your first day at the Academy, but your luck could run out at any moment. Unfortunately, there was no info about killing or at least injuring the demons, given that it was a children’s book after all. You will have to do more research on that later.

You bury yourself in books so much that you almost skip dinner. Asmo has to come to your room and remind you about the necessity of eating. Only after you see him, you remember that you actually made him really upset yesterday. It doesn’t feel right to leave things as they are, so you try to apologize.

“Asmo?” you call the demon as he is about to leave.

“What do you want?” he asks, still clearly upset at you. He is not as angry as before, more like… sad. That makes you feel like a piece of trash. You enjoy making people angry or annoyed, but you never actually want to upset anybody. If they are not your enemy, that is. Asmo, so far, hasn’t done anything to you to deserve the treatment you gave him yesterday. You do think that he acts a little bit too vulnerable, being a demon and the Avatar of Lust, but even if it’s just an act on his part, you need to apologize. It’s less about him and more about you. You don’t want to let your evil part overshadow everything good you have.

“I just want to say that I’m sorry for upsetting you,” you start. This gets his attention: he listens to every word you say, so better not fuck this up. “I don’t know you well enough, but I shouldn’t make such rude assumptions about your personality based only on your sin. But just to be clear: even if you were thinking only about sex all the time, I don’t think that it’s something shameful or wrong.”

“Well, to be completely honest,” Asmodeus now smiles at you. It’s not his usual confident smile, but you notice a shadow of cheekiness in it. “I did come to your room with the intention to seduce you, Tiel. But you managed to ruin the mood so dashingly that I got angry for no reason. I… rarely get rejected, you see.” He looks right into your eyes, a warm sensation fills your whole body.

…

…You don’t understand who you are or where you are. All you can focus on are the warm lips of the man in front of you. You press him to the wall of the bedroom, not stopping kissing him for even a second. Your hands slide across his back and move down to his butt. It fits in your hands perfectly, you give his ass a little squeeze. Actually, many squeezes, you can’t stop yourself from feeling this man up. More, tighter, stronger. You feel his hands in your hair, his tongue in your mouth. His thigh is between your legs, massaging and teasing. He makes the most delightful sounds you’ve ever heard, you are addicted, you need more. His sweet smell makes you dizzy, you want to cover your whole body with it, you want to be in the center of it. You want to be inside this man. Now.

Someone’s scream seems so distant, so unimportant. Why would you care if you have this man in your arms? The next thing you know, somebody takes you by the collar and tears you from the demon you hugged just a moment ago. You slowly blink, focusing your gaze on Mammon’s face. He shakes you by the shoulders, trying to make your brain work again. You start to feel dizzy for a whole other reason. You put your hand on Mammon’s chest to stop him from shaking you. He obeys, examining you for any signs of craziness from Asmo’s hypnosis.

“Ya alright, human?” he asks, frowning. It’s the first time you've seen him this serious; he didn’t look like that even when he was about to attack you.

“Yeah… What the hell was that?..” You think you know, but you need a confirmation from Mammon. You feel dirty.

“Asmo’s power, makes people go crazy over him. Not only people actually, he even charmed flowers once,” Mammon responds. Seeing as you gained your senses, he now peeks over your shoulder to scowl at Asmodeus.

“I told you that I rarely get rejected,” Asmo says shamelessly, clearly extremely content with his actions.

You slowly approach the Avatar of Lust, looking him right in the eyes. You would never forgive yourself if you started to fear this gaze. Asmo looks at you with a mocking grin. It disappears in an instant once you slap him as hard as you can. You leave a bright red mark on his cheek. Your hand burns, but it’s a pleasant pain.

“Never do that again, you, pathetic bitch. Can’t even seduce anybody without using your power? You are so desperate, it makes me sick,” you spit your angry words in his face, enjoying the fury in his eyes.

A hand in a black glove manages to stop Asmo’s claws before they tear your throat out. Lucifer squeezes the demon’s right hand, while Mammon holds down the left one. Beel holds you from the back, preventing from striking Asmo’s heart with a knife. It takes mere seconds for all the demons to appear in your room and stop the bloodshed between you and the Avatar of Lust.

“Enough!” Lucifer orders to both of you. You and Asmo were trying to break free, but this short command returns both of you to your senses.

You relax in Beel’s arms; the knife drops on the floor. Asmo breathes heavily, piercing you with his gaze. You didn’t notice when he grew out horns and wings. Even his whole outfit changed; he is now wearing all black, with a golden scorpion crossing his torso.

“You both are having dinner in your rooms today. I’ll have a talk with the two of you later. Asmo, if I see you somewhere other than your room, your punishment will be even more severe, understood?” Lucifer takes control in his hands, as always.

“Yes,” Asmodeus nods, shakes off Mammon’s and Lucifer’s hands, and leaves without looking at you. 

Beel lets you go, which would usually upset you, but right now you don’t want to feel anyone’s touch on your body. You don’t wait until the demons leave your room and head straight to the bathroom. You need to take a shower and wash off Asmo’s taste from your mouth.

This unpleasant episode brought back many nasty memories from your past. But you are not a child now, you can protect yourself. Yeah, except you don’t, you were completely overpowered by Asmo’s charms, and it pisses you off. And scares you. No, you can’t let it get to you. Now you have more information about demons’ capabilities. And there is nothing in all three worlds that cannot be stopped. You just need to find a way to deal with these charms. But you require more knowledge of the world around you.

You don’t know how much time you spend in the shower, but when you return to your room, there is already a generous pile of food on your table. And a cup of tea, no doubt prepared just the way you like.

But you have no appetite. You look at the books you read earlier, but you don’t feel like studying right now, either. While inspecting your room, you notice your dear hoodie on the floor. You have no idea if it’s possible to wash out demonic blood, especially when the stains are not fresh anymore, but you will try.

You didn’t notice a washing machine anywhere before, so you decide to check the basement. There is a staircase that leads underground, right next to your room. So, you take your hoodie and start your journey in search of a washing machine.

The stairs are too grand to lead into just the normal basement. The second you put your foot on the first step, you feel a chilly breeze from underground. The room beneath must be huge. But you don’t want to turn around now, you want to stop thinking about depressing stuff, and a thrilling exploration of the House is the best way to do it.

You continue your descent further. The lower you go, the louder the wind howls. You find yourself in an enormous chamber. Countless columns of gray marble are growing from the floor, like trees in the forest. The whole space is lit with swarms of candles, just floating in the air. It looks like a maze, there are different sections divided by stone walls and wooden doors. You make sure to remember your path.

You are not planning to check each door, who knows what can be lurking in there? You don’t feel as fearless as before and decide to take it easy. You stay on the open field, admiring the beauty of the chamber. The surrounding walls are so high that the whole place must have a perfect echo. Perfect for singing.

Hm, that’s actually a great idea. Music was always a great way to calm down your nerves. You open your mouth and start to sing.

"Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said, "No more countin' dollars, we'll be countin' stars"
Yeah, we'll be countin' stars"

You slowly go further, deeper into the chamber. The melody of the song plays in your head, it’s getting faster, more cheerful. Your singing gets more joyful as well.

"I see this life, like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And in my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and ye' shall find"

You can’t stop yourself from swinging to the tune a little bit. Though, it’s a perfect place to dance to the music in your head. Nobody is watching, nobody cares. You want to shake off the weight from your shoulders.

"Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
On just doing what we're told"

The dancing intensifies, you are now fully immersed into the song and the imaginary tune. You even forget about the pain in your arm, so much fun you are having. You close your eyes, concentrating on the lyrics and your moves.

"I feel something so right doin' the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong doin' the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive…"

You stop so suddenly, that you almost lose your balance. You feel a blow of the wind on your skin, but it’s warm. Like someone… is breathing at you. Someone huge. There is something behind your back, something enormous. You were so lost in your own head, that you completely forgot about your surroundings. You’ve let your guard down, and now will face the consequences.

You slowly turn around, not to provoke the thing that is behind you.

Oh, dear.

Oh fuck. Holy shit. It’s a dog. It’s a giant dog. It’s three giant dogs. No, it’s actually one giant dog with three heads. It’s fucking Cerberus, that’s who it is.

Three pairs of intelligent yellow eyes look right at you. He doesn’t look hostile as of now, but he can crush you with his paws and teeth within moments, if he so pleases. You instinctively take a few steps back, slowly and carefully. You don’t even try to run, it’s pointless. It’s actually better not to move at all. You are too small to satisfy his appetite anyway, so maybe he will get bored and leave?

Cerberus bends his hind legs and sits down right in front of you with a loud boom, making you almost jump from the impact. No, he is not leaving. Suddenly, he lifts one of his heads to the ceiling and howls with all his might. Your ears start ringing. Cerberus is loud as it is, but the echo of the chamber made the sound even louder. The giant dog stares at you, waiting for something.

Seeing that you don’t react, he lifts his head again and howls one more time. Now, when you are not so overwhelmed by a sudden sound, you listen more carefully. To your surprise, you recognize the tune of the song you were singing seconds ago. Cerberus is trying to imitate your song! He is trying to sing!

This revelation woke up something warm in your heart. You are still scared, it’s a giant fucking dog after all, but maybe you can get out of this situation alive?

“What is that, big boy? You liked the song, huh?” you say, as softly as you possibly can. You have no idea how intelligent this demon-dog is or if he can understand you. But you get a response to your question nonetheless.

“RUFF!!!” Cerberus barks with his other head, you feel dizziness once again; this bark was really loud. It did sound affirmative, anyway. You decide that if you want to live, you must sing.

“L-lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep…” you continue the song where you left it. All six eyes watch you attentively, but the dog seems satisfied.

As soon as you finish one song, Cerberus barks, and you have to start another. It’s a good thing that you know a lot of them, otherwise, you would be dead meat by now. By the fifth song, the guardian of the chamber becomes visibly sleepy. He lowers all his three heads and lies down in front of you. Two of the three heads close their eyes, but one is still watching you.

Cerberus falls asleep only after the tenth song. He slightly wiggles his tail in his sleep. You did it. You pacified the monster and now can leave and never return. But… He looks really cute when he is asleep. You remember the infamous game that got you into this mess in the first place. You have your own Cerberus in there, your pride and joy. He is a lot more cartoonish in the game, and much smaller, but the resemblance is obvious.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how stupid it would be to try and pet the hellish monster? Probably around 100. But he. Is. So. Cute.

You are facing a dilemma: are you ready to possibly lose your arm or your life for touching Cerberus’ soft fur? You stare at the peacefully sleeping dog. Maybe you are willing to make this sacrifice after all. There are a lot of ways to die, but being eaten by a good boy, a legendary nightmarish monster, is not the worst one.

You slowly approach one of the sleeping heads. You wonder if each head has a different personality or if it’s only one creature, and it just so happened that he has three heads. The beast is so big that you have to stand on your toes to reach the space behind the dog’s ear. You reach the right spot and start scratching it.

The giant yellow eye right in front of you opens instantly. You were ready for it, but it’s still terrifying. Cerberus doesn’t move, though. And you are still alive. You continue scratching. The dog seems to judge the new sensations he experiences. You might have a chance to save yourself if you give him the most intense pats in your life.

And you give him all you’ve got. The ears, the head, under the chin, he even lets you touch his nose. You hear a strange sound, like some giant ball is bouncing on the floor. It turns out, it's Cerberus’ tail; he is wiggling it, hitting the floor with each swing.

Suddenly, he raises his head in front of you and opens his mouth. Well, it seems that you weren’t good enough. You look at the incoming sharp teeth, which are ready to tear off your head. But nothing happens. You feel your legs losing ground; you are carefully lifted by the collar and moved to the next head. You thought that you can get away with petting only one head? No way, better finish what you started.

By the time you finish the scratching session, you can’t move your arms. But the beast looks very satisfied, and that is what matters. You are satisfied as well, Cerberus expelled all the dark thoughts you had earlier. You are yourself again.

You head to the stairs with a bounce in your step. You dropped your hoodie when you first saw Cerberus, but you pick it up on your way back. The dog stays on the spot, following you with all his eyes. You can’t believe that you stayed alive. You actually already miss the big guy, but you can’t spend all eternity down there with him. You'll visit him tomorrow.

Your appetite comes back, so you rush to your bedroom and start stuffing your face with food. The tea is already cold, but delicious nonetheless. Just as you finish eating, your phone lights up with a new message. It’s Levi.

“Come to the kitchen, right now!” you read in the message. Well, you do need to wash all the dishes that are left after your dinner. You take all the plates and head to the kitchen.

You hear the sound of someone’s chewing. You doubt that it’s Levi. After quietly putting the dishes in the sink, you go further into the kitchen. You are not surprised when you see Beel sitting in front of a fridge, munching something. You cough a little bit to attract his attention.

“Ah, Cas, perfect timing.” The demon turns to you, closing the fridge. He stands up, so you have to raise your head to speak with him: Beel is a big boy. “Listen, do you have any food on you? Because there’s not nearly enough in the fridge,” his face becomes so unbelievably sad that you actually feel sorry for him. Those puppy eyes should be illegal. “I’m hungry…”

“Sorry, bud, ate everything already,” you point in the direction of the dishes in the sink. Beel nods and becomes even sadder. Shit, his manipulation tactics are impeccable. If you were starving, you would still give away every last crumb to this demon. Luckily, you already ate all your food before meeting Beelzebub.

“Anyway, what’re you doing in the kitchen so late?” the demon asks.

“Actually, I’m supposed to be meeting Leviathan here. Did you see him?” You look around the kitchen in case this nerd is just hiding in the dark corner, avoiding social interaction with his brother.

“You? Meeting Levi? Really?” Beel seems sincerely surprised. He shakes his head. “No, I haven’t seen him recently, only at dinner. I think he avoids me. Maybe he has one of his difficult periods again.” The youngest brother frowns, he really is concerned about his big bro.

Wait a second. "The youngest?" It doesn’t sound right. You count all the brothers you’ve met in your head. Only six, one is missing. Why haven’t you met him yet?

“Hey, Beel,” you call him. He stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “There are seven of you, correct? Where is the seventh one? I don’t think I’ve met him.”

Beelzebub’s demeanor changes in a second. He looks hostile, irritated. You don’t think that he will attack you, but mentally prepare for another fight anyway. Too many dangerous situations for one day, you think. You knew that the Devildom would be a "fun" place, but not to such a degree.

“…Now listen, don’t you ever mention him in front of Lucifer,” he says, his voice slightly rumbles, like he is seconds away from growling at you. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not going to tell you anything, either. Lucifer would yell at me if I did. And don’t bother asking any of my brothers. No one talks about him. Even though he is our brother… We have to treat him like he doesn’t exist… It’s not right. But since no one can defy Lucifer…” The rumbling is fully gone, now there is just a poor puppy in front of you. You would like to pat his shoulder, but you know that he won’t appreciate it.

On another note… You smell the potential for drama. You should really dig into this mysterious story; this might be a perfect opportunity to let your opponents fight among themselves. That would actually be an ideal scenario, but it’s too early to celebrate yet, you need to learn more. Not now, though; nobody in this household trusts you enough to spill the beans. Thankfully, you can be patient. Occasionally.

“…You know what? This isn’t any of your business, human,” Beel huffs, confirming your thoughts. He is angry, but mostly at himself, for telling that much information to the outsider. “I’m leaving. I’ve already eaten everything there was in the fridge now anyway.” The demon perks up. “I’m pretty sure Lucifer is hiding a poisoned apple in the desk in the study…” And he is gone. Wonderful. It’s delightful to be around Beel when he is calm and content, but when he is in a bad mood, you’re better off leaving him alone.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a quiet hissing.

“Psst… Hey!” You hear Levi’s voice from under the table.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you ask him, smirking. Levi’s crouching on all fours is rather amusing.

“What do you think? I didn’t want anyone to know that I’m meeting some stupid normie! This will ruin my reputation for all eternity! But you blew it! Absolutely blew it! Why did you tell Beel that you were meeting me here?!” The demon hisses at you in rage.

“Seriously? You are still insisting on this 'normie' thing? You know what? I think you’re lying.” You cross your arms and stare him in the eyes. “What was that shit about you avoiding Beel? He doesn’t seem like the type to worry over nothing, so I believe him.”

“T-that’s!... That’s none of your concern, human-normie! Mind your own business!” Levi hisses and screeches, but avoids eye contact.

“Very well then,” you say as you sit on the counter. “Why did you invite me here? I assume it’s about the riddle, correct?”

“I just thought… That before starting an expedition on the coldest and most dangerous mountain in the whole Devildom, we should first check more accessible places,” he shrugs.

“And by that you mean… A freezer?” You are surprised. You thought about this option, but it seemed too easy and stupid to you. For some reason, you expected a big quest, during which you and Levi would fight monsters on a snowy mountain for the right to possess the credit card. Maybe it’s just a little kid talking inside you; you always wanted to have an adventure like that.

“Yeah, I wanted to check it while waiting for you, but Beel came.” Levi nervously looks at the fridge. “I hope it’s in there; I don’t want to go on the mountain. It’s too difficult for my shut-in body.”

“Oh, but you will have to, if you want to visit that live event of yours, Levi,” you say, hoping to inspire the demon. Yeah, he is not the best companion for mountain climbing, so you hope that the card is indeed in such a banal place like a freezer.

You decide to stop wasting time and open the mystery box. You see an old icecream; it’s surprising how Beel hasn’t eaten it yet. On the very back, you notice a big chunk of ice with something inside. Was it really that easy?

You pull the ice out of the freezer and throw it on the counter. Yeah, it was that easy. There is a golden credit card inside the ice. Unbelievable. Well, say goodbye to your snowy adventure, Cas.

“I can’t believe that I was actually right! I won!” Levi loudly celebrates. You recall that you have arranged a little competition in the morning. Oh well, he won fair and square. “Prepare to be my servant, normie-human! Hehehe,” the nerd giggles, absolutely overjoyed. Who knew that he would be so delighted to get morning drinks for a couple of weeks?

“Let’s unfreeze this thing first,” you offer, looking around. What would be best to use for unfreezing such a huge chunk of ice?

“I’ll put it in the microwave and thaw it. Let’s see, I guess about two minutes on auto should do the trick…” Levi starts defrosting the card.

But your schemes are interrupted by the demon you didn’t expect to meet in the kitchen at this hour.

“What’s with all the racket, you two?” Mammon enters the kitchen. His gaze fixates on the microwave. He must have excellent vision, because he recognized his precious card from a mile away. “My Goldie! My baby! The one thing more important to me than life itself!” He jumps closer to you. “Get it outta there before the microwave demagnetizes it and makes it useless, you’re a pair of numskulls!” Mammon yells, annoyed by your stupidity.

“Ooh, didn’t think of that. Better stop the defrost cycle, I guess.” Levi quickly turns off the microwave, Goldie is saved.

“Levi, you idiot! How could you do somethin’ so stupid?! You’re dumb as a stump, ya know that?!” Mammon keeps yelling, trying to get to the card. But Levi blocks his way.

“Hmm, are you sure you should be talking to me like that, Mammon? After all, I’m the one who found the credit card Lucifer took from you,” Levi peeps at you, waiting for you to confirm his story. You nod obediently.

“Yep, Levi is the mastermind behind all this.” Oops, a little bit too much praise, now Levi is bright-red and embarrassed. It won’t help him in negotiations. He takes a couple of deep breaths and returns back on track.

“So, do you want me to give you your credit card?” Levi asks Mammon, smiling menacingly. 

“You’d BETTER!” Mammon yells, but Levi puts his hands on his hips and scowls. “Um, I mean, yes, please. Please, give it back, Leviathan, sir…!” The greedy demon even gets down on his knees. Surely he must have some kind of trick up his sleeve? He is one of the quickest demons, he can easily outrun you both and steal the card right away. But he obediently kneels.

“Oh wow, this is embarrassing! I can’t believe that’s all it took for you to abandon your pride! You’re one of the Seven Rulers of the Devildom, Mammon. Shouldn’t you be ashamed of yourself?” Levi got on his high horse and lost the thread completely. You watch Mammon very attentively, not to miss any signs of him preparing to run to his Goldie. But it never happens. Meanwhile, Leviathan finally got to the point, “All right, I will return your precious card on one condition: I want you to make a pact with this human.”

“Right, a pact, fine. I’m more than happy to do whatever you…” Mammon agrees, still not fully realizing what he gets himself into. “…wait, WHAT?! Why d’ya want ME to make a PACT?! With HIM?!” The demon points his finger at you. Understandable, you wouldn’t want to make a pact with yourself either.

“Think about it: if you make the pact with Castiel, you’ll have to do whatever you’re told, right? Then Cas will order you to give me my money back immediately. And since you can’t refuse a direct order from your master, you’ll do exactly that. Even if you try to steal or borrow money from me, there will always be Castiel to order you to return it back! Game over, I win!” Levi shines with self-satisfaction so brightly that it’s almost unbearable. You don’t remind him that you'll only be here for one year, and after your departure, he'll have to come up with a new plan for returning his money. And you especially don’t mention that there must be better ways to make Mammon pay, other than making him your slave. You want this pact. So you just watch the scene as an audience.

“Levi, calm down your crazy ass! I’ll pay ya back without any pacts, I promise!” Mammon begs his little brother, still standing on his knees.

“No can do, Mammon. You brought it upon yourself, now it’s time to pay your debts!” Levi doesn’t let Mammon off the hook that easily. “Make a pact with Castiel, NOW! Or you will never see your credit card ever again!” Leviathan hisses, he looks serious. Centuries of Mammon’s shit really got to him.

Mammon looks like he is in agony. He looks at the card, at you, at Levi; you see a real panic in his eyes. He angrily shouts at Levi, he cries, he bargains, but nothing helps. Eventually, he is defeated. 

You silently approach him; he is still kneeling in front of you. You repeat a gesture you saw in a book and offer Mammon your hand. He lifts his eyes at you, still full of tears. He looks beautiful like that. The demon takes your hand and submits himself to you.

There is no special spell or ritual for this. The demon just has to express his desire to make a pact. Mammon doesn’t even say anything, but you feel a burning sensation in your chest. It spreads across your whole body, making all your bones and muscles feel like they are on fire. It hurts, a lot. You squeeze Mammon’s hand tightly, but don’t make a sound. You feel how the mark of the pact appears on your upper back. A little stream of blood leaks down your spine: the mark looks like it was carved with a knife.

It takes you a couple of minutes to catch your breath. Nothing changed inside you, you don’t feel the power of the pact. You have no idea how it’s supposed to feel, but you don’t sense even the slightest hint that you can now make Mammon obey your every word.

“Did it work?” Levi asks very nervously. He was standing silently during the whole thing, but he is too curious not to say something.

“Dunno, I think I felt somethin’, but I’m not sure,” Mammon mumbles, listening to his sensations.

“Let’s try something easy,” you offer. Your gaze finds the forgotten dishes in the sink. “Mammon, wash these dishes!” you try to order him.

…

“Nah, don’t feel like it,” Mammon grins, relieved that he is still in control of his body.

“Wait-wait-wait, no! It can’t be! I don’t believe that all this effort was for nothing!” Now it’s Levi’s turn to panic.

“Well, my dear, sweet brother, I did exactly what ya wanted. Now return me my card, I have some shopping to do,” The greedy demon looks much better than before: confidence has returned to his posture. He lifts himself up and slowly approaches Leviathan, smiling victoriously.

“No-no-no! I won’t let you!...”

You stop paying attention to their banter. You are standing on the same spot, not moving a muscle, and trying to feel the pact inside you. You concentrate your mind on a single spot on your body – a pact mark. It hurts like a fresh wound, but there is something else. Some kind of energy is hiding there, something warm and desirable. You try to reach it, and suddenly, it responds back. It feels like a warm embrace, the mysterious energy makes all your pain go away, not only from a mark but even from a bruise on your arm.

You didn’t know that something so pure could be born from an unwilling act of submission. You feel like the worst person in the world when you mentally put a leash on this orb of warmth and command, “Mammon, do the dishes, NOW.”

Some unknown force takes control of Mammon’s body. He curses and screams, but still marches toward the sink to wash the plates there.

“It works! It really works!” Levi shouts in ecstasy. You watch Mammon with very complicated feelings in your heart. “Now make him pay me my money back! To the last coin! There is still time to buy the Blu-ray box set of 'Journey to the Devildom: the Tale of a Little She-Devil and Her Reluctant Companion'!” The more he repeats the name of this show, the more stupid it sounds. But it was your agreement, wasn’t it? You order Mammon to return Levi’s money.

“Look how fast he runs! I can still see him, he will be at the bank in no time!” Levi smiles, looking through the kitchen window. He sounds delighted, the demon celebrates his victory. And you just stand near the sink, looking at perfectly clean plates.

You decide to leave the brothers to their own devices, they will figure out the rest by themselves. You return to your room in a much sourer mood than expected. It’s a victory, is it not? You made a pact with one of the strongest demons in the whole Devildom, so why do you feel like shit?

You lie down on the bed, lost in thought. You were sure that you would like to command the demon, to make him obey you. But as soon as you saw the pact in action, you completely changed your mind. You put yourself in Mammon’s shoes: to give someone full control over your body, without a chance to break free… It’s exactly what Asmo did to you. It’s exactly what happened to you all these years ago. It is terrifying to lose your freedom, just like that.

You don’t know how much time has passed, but surely enough for Mammon to get back. You don’t think that Levi will answer your text, he must be preoccupied with ordering whatever he wanted to buy. So you text Beel. You need to know where Mammon’s room is, so you could have a talk with him as soon as possible. Luckily, Beel isn’t asleep yet. He responds to you nice and short, and explains the whole route. If he is surprised by your question, he doesn’t show it. You thank him and head to Mammon’s lair.

The House is gloomy and spooky during the darkest hours of the eternal night. But you are already used to its unique interior choices, so you actually enjoy your nightly walk through the corridors.

You find Mammon’s door rather quickly, thanks to Beel. You knock at the door and wait. A lot of time passes, you want to knock again, but the door finally opens. Mammon looks rough.

“What the hell do ya want, human?” he asks angrily; you are clearly the last person he wants to see.

“I want to talk. It’s urgent.”

Mammon squints his eyes but lets you in. The lights are not on, so you find something that resembles a couch only with the help of your hands. Mammon sees everything perfectly, so he doesn’t bother to turn on the lights for you. He sits somewhere in front of you. The only thing you see in the dark is his shining blue eyes.

“So? Say what ya want and get out of here,” he orders, annoyed that he has to talk to you after everything that happened.

“First of all, I want to thank you,” you say, fully aware that the demon can interpret it the wrong way.

“Wha?! For what? For becomin’ your new slave? Your shiny toy, you can play with however ya please?” Mammon is furious, he already wants to throw you out the door.

“For saving me from Asmo,” you say calmly. The demon stops screaming and starts actually listening to you. “Not gonna lie, it was awful to be used by him like that, but I did the same to you, right?” You regret that you can’t see Mammon’s face and learn his reaction to your words. “One person once told me that the individual is defined by their principles, their beliefs, and inner laws, which they never break. And I was always trying to be such a person, the one who has all these rules and beliefs. A human without all that is a useless scum with no inner strength, that is what I personally think,” you sigh. You feel extremely tired after everything that happened today. The darkness of the room makes your eyes heavy and defocused. But you need to explain everything to Mammon, you can rest later.

“And I always had that one particular rule that I swore to never break. Respect for others' free will and freedom. It comes in all forms. I would never bully someone who is weaker than me, because I will force my will on them, and they don’t have the ability to fight back. I could never force anything romantic or sexual on anybody. I didn’t have the ability to magically make someone act against their will, but I always thought that if I had this power, I wouldn’t use it.” You smile bitterly. “Guess I was wrong. It doesn’t matter whether it was the right thing to make you pay your debts, it wasn’t the correct way to do it. There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed, but I did it anyway. And for that, I’m sorry.” You don’t see Mammon’s eyes anymore, he must’ve closed them. You want to close yours as well, but only after you make your promise.

“We met each other two days ago and now are bonded by the pact. I am sorry that you were forced into all this. I know that you have no reason to trust me, our relationship so far clearly wasn’t the ideal one,” you smile. You can see his eyes again. Their expression is much softer now. “And I don’t know what kind of relationship we will have in the future. But no matter what, I will never force you to do anything with the power of a pact ever again, I swear. Otherwise, everything I went through, all my efforts to be a better person were in vain. And I won’t allow this to happen. I’m better than this, I know it. And I… ask you to believe in me as well.”

It’s the longest speech you’ve ever had. You’ve put a lot of emotions into it, and you hope that Mammon believes you. You did intend to use the power of pacts to get your revenge at first, but you won’t do it like that. Not like that. Never again.

It takes Mammon some time to process everything you said and come up with an answer. If you weren’t so tense, you would surely fall asleep, waiting for him to speak. Finally, the demon breaks the silence. “You’re not so bad after all,” he says with a smile. “I’m not mad at ya anymore, so let’s just… forget all this and move on.”

Your body instantly relaxes. You feel warm heat from the pact mark. It's soothing and calming. The warmth, relief, and exhaustion send you off to sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You rearrange me 'till I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
And there's someone in my head, but it's not me

Pink Floyd - Brain Damage

You have a little secret. It isn’t something important or interesting, but you've never told anybody about this. You actually adore snuggling. You have to hug something or somebody to be able to sleep without nightmares. It has been your thing since you were a little boy. You never slept with a teddy bear or anything; stuffed toys seemed too childish to you, even when you were a literal child. But you always had a second pillow in your bed to be able to hug it while you were sleeping.

When you first saw your bedroom in the Devildom, you were pleasantly surprised by the number of pillows on your bed. You could choose the ideal pillow for yourself, there were plenty of options.

And it seems that you found the perfect one. You haven’t had such a pleasant sleep in ages. The pillow is warm and long; you can even hug it with your legs if you want. And it hugs you back, gifting you the feeling of security and relaxation.

…Hold on. Pillows can’t hug you back, right?

You immediately open your eyes, shaking off the last traces of a pleasant dream. Firstly, it’s not your bed. Secondly, it’s not even your room. And last, but not least, you are hugging Mammon, who tossed his limbs all over you. You thank God that you have been too stressed lately, so you didn’t wake up with a boner. The situation would be even more awkward then.

…

…Scratch that. You may’ve been stressed, but Mammon sure wasn’t. You can feel his dick poking your stomach. Splendid. Well, it could be worse. At least he is lying peacefully and doesn’t try to dry-hump you or anything.

…

…

For fuck’s sake. As soon as you think about that, Mammon indeed begins to move his hips rhythmically, grinding against your torso. You jerked a bit too much when you woke up, accidentally stimulating Mammon's boner. And now the demon chases this pleasant feeling, pressing himself against your body. Well, it still could be worse, you are both dressed, at least.

…

Still dressed, thank God. You were literally expecting your clothes to just disappear all of a sudden, with your rotten luck. But it doesn’t solve the problem of a horny demon who is currently trying to fuck your belly.

You consider two options. The first one: you immediately wake Mammon up. He freaks out, starts screaming, maybe you two start fighting, you won’t be able to speak with each other for weeks after that fiasco either way. And it would be counterproductive, you kinda just made peace with each other, as far as you remember.

The second option: wait it out. Mammon will wake up eventually, either in the process or after he comes. If you pretend to be asleep, it gives Mammon the option to pretend that nothing happened. There will be a lot of ashamed glances, for sure, but at least you will be able to speak with each other somehow. Maybe he won’t even feel any shame, he is a demon after all. That would make things so much easier.

You decide that the second option is better in every aspect, so you try to relax and wait.

…

It's hard. Mammon keeps quickening the pace, which makes his hips slide slightly lower. A few more inches and he will start grinding on your own dick. If you get a boner as well, the second option simply won’t work. You won’t be able to convincingly pretend that you are asleep, he will start yelling, and you will get a bad ending, just like in the first option.

You could try to come before Mammon wakes up to get rid of the boner, but you don’t have much time. Judging from the speed of Mammon’s pushes, he is close. You have to hold on just a little bit longer.

You try to think about something unsexy, but it’s extremely difficult. Mammon starts to moan softly right into your ear. His hot breath sends goosebumps down your spine. You can’t move away from him even a little bit, his arms and legs hold you so tight that you can’t shift your position. You feel your cock hardening, and Mammon still doesn’t wake up.

There is only one thing you can do to save your new, wholesome relationship from its downfall. You put your hand on his dick through his pajama pants and move it up and down, adding friction and making this fucker finally come. Mammon shivers with his whole body, squeezing you even tighter and letting out his last satisfied moan. You take your hand away from his junk, close your eyes, and try to lie as naturally as possible in this fucked-up situation.

You can feel how Mammon lifts himself up and hear how he puts a hand over his mouth to block a scream of terror. He escapes the bed and runs out of the room, allegedly to the bathroom.

You did it. You averted the crisis.

Finally, you can let yourself relax; you were tensed like a stone this whole time. You hope that your acting was good enough for Mammon to believe that you were sleeping. You hear a distant banging and assume that Mammon is punching walls out there, maybe even with his head.

He returns after ten minutes of smashing the walls out of frustration. You still pretend to be asleep, but you want to see Mammon’s embarrassed face so badly that you can keep your act for only two minutes.

You sit up on his bed, look around, pretending to be confused, and see Mammon sitting on the couch. He sat as far away from you as possible. His whole face, even his ears, is bright red, which is an impressive sight on his dark skin. He notices that you are awake and quickly looks away, blushing even more.  

“Good morning,” you say, as neutrally as possible. He doesn’t respond. “Mon, the hell am I doing in your bedroom? And most importantly: in your bed?” You clearly recall falling asleep on the couch. Did he carry you to his bed? Why?

Mammon struggles to reply, but the poor boy is doing his best.

“I-I… What kind of h-host would I be, if I let ya sl-sleep on the couch?” It’s definitely not an honest answer, but you let it slide. Mammon is not ready for interrogation. 

“Where did you sleep then?” you ask, hiding a mocking smile with your hand.

“ON A COUCH!” Mammon yells so loudly and suddenly that you almost jump on your butt.

“Okay… Right, thanks for having me, I guess. I should go prepare for classes,” you say, slowly getting out of bed. The best choice is to leave the demon alone. You need some alone time as well. To think and… to blow off some steam. Mammon’s performance didn’t leave you unaffected, that’s for sure.

“Yeah,” the Avatar of Greed mutters, still avoiding your gaze.

You head back to your bedroom with the intention of releasing some tension and taking a shower. You walk past the mirror and throw a passing glance at it. The sight makes you wince. You look like a mess: you fell asleep in your uniform, and now your clothes look terrible. You need to buy new stuff as soon as possible.

When you arrive at your room, you suddenly realize that there are still four hours until the classes start. Mammon’s shenanigans spooked you so much that you didn’t bother to check the time.

You manage to do everything you planned and make yourself look somewhat decent when you hear a knock at the door. Surprisingly, it’s Mammon.

“Hey.” He still doesn’t look at you, preferring to stare at his shoes, but speaks more confidently. “I just talked to Lucifer, and… And he mentioned that he promised to let you use my Goldie. I’m not okay with it, ya got me? But ya look like a homeless person, wearin’ same stuff every day. And that makes me look bad, I’m your boss after all. We still have some time, so… I’ll meet your ass downstairs.” He leaves without letting you respond.

Hm, is it a bad idea to go shopping with Mammon? You wanted to give him some space, but he initiates a shopping spree with you. In the end, you decide that you worry about the demon’s emotions too much for your liking and shut your inner voice up. You need new clothes, and you will get them.

You find Mammon outside, standing next to a silver sports car. It’s absolutely beautiful. You are no expert, but you definitely can appreciate a great vehicle. The car looks like a mixture of classical models from the 70s. If you had to guess, you’d say that it is a Mustang or an old-school Corvette. The demon notices you gawking at his prized possession and starts bragging.

“What, checking out my baby, aren’t ya? My dear Demonio 666 Lexura!” He starts running around, showing off all the cool features of the car. “Hot, isn’t she? And cool too, am I right? Look at that exterior… and that color! Can’t help but fall in love, can ya?”

“Yes, she’s a real beauty,” you agree, coming closer. “Are we taking her with us? I saw some kind of shop down the road earlier, we can just go there by foot.”

“Are ya kiddin’ me?!” Mammon looks genuinely shocked. “Ya have a rare opportunity to use the legendary golden credit card of THE Great Mammon! And you wanna waste it in this shithole you called a shop?!”

“I don’t like spending someone else’s money. I just need the bare minimum, and I’ll return your money eventually. Let’s just get over with it.” You start marching toward the shop. But Mammon stays where he is, staring at you with a serious look on his face.

“You’re not used to being spoiled, aren’t ya?” he asks, making you stop in your tracks. “Always so logical, so efficient. Cas, ya got yourself into a whole new world from humans’ scary stories and shit. And ya won’t let yourself live a little even here?!” He opens a car door for you. “Cut the crap and get in the car. We're gonna celebrate the returnin’ of my dear Goldie.”

You crack a smile. “Hm, it’s the first time you called me by my name, Mon.” The demon’s confidence disappears in an instant.

“It doesn’t matter how I call you. Ya always gonna be a stupid human, and that’s that!” he yells, embarrassed.

You both get in the car. Mammon presses something, and the roof above you disappears.

“Wait, she is convertible?” you ask, surprised. It will be a wild ride.

“Hell yeah, she is! Prepare for a mind-blowing experience, human.” Mammon puts on his sunglasses, turns on some hip-hop song as loud as possible, and starts a car. He drives so fast that he breaks a speedlimit within seconds. It’s already too late to panic, so you decide to trust in Mammon’s driving skills and enjoy the road.

Loud music, an amazing car, speed, the night sky, and the lights of a city. Everything is perfect. You would prefer to be in the driver’s seat, but it’s pleasant to let someone else take control of the situation from time to time. You don’t know where you are going, and you don’t care.

***

You and Mammon barely manage to arrive at RAD in time. You both got too invested in the shopping to pay attention to time. Numerous bags with your and Mammon’s new clothing filled the trunk of a car.

It's an epic entrance. Demonio 666 Lexura is one of the coolest cars of all time, so when it appears in front of RAD, it attracts everyone’s attention. But when everyone sees a HUMAN walking out of the car, the crowd is simply shocked. It’s unknown who started this rumor and where they got this information from, but within seconds the whole Academy knew that Mammon and a human made a pact.

You feel like the protagonist of some teenage drama, where the main character, hated by everybody, starts dating the hottest and richest guy at school. Upon inspecting the crowd, you notice that the majority of demons don’t look as hostile as yesterday. Everybody knew already that Mammon was ordered to look after you, and all students knew that he wouldn’t do it. But the pact… That shit is different, on a whole other level. Even such an unreliable guy as Mammon becomes an impenetrable wall between you and hungry demons. And he doesn’t even have to do anything, the fact that the pact exists is already enough.

“I don’t get it. Why forge a pact with an ordinary human?” you hear demons gossiping.

“What are we gonna do? We can’t hunt a human when he has a pact with one of the Seven Rulers. One snap of his fingers, and Mammon will come running to protect him.”

“Did you see the car they arrived in? If I had a pact with Mammon, I would order him to give me a ride in Demonio 666 Lexura as well.”

You were the star of the day yesterday, but today ALL the attention is on you. Demons stopped hiding their interest, they're straight up gawking at you, watching your every move. Mammon is walking right beside you. He may seem like he doesn’t mind the attention, but you know that he is scanning the crowd as attentively as you are.

Your first class for today is with all the demon brothers, except for Levi, who still prefers to study from home. When you enter the room, you notice that Asmo, Satan, and Beel are the only ones here. The rest of the demons prefer to stay in the corridor and wait there for the lesson to start. Bob was right: reasonable people tend to avoid this bunch, especially when they gather together like that.

You settle in the farthest corner, preferring not to take part in a family quarrel that will inevitably start. 

“Ahahahaha!” You hear Asmo’s laughter as soon as he sees you and Mammon together.

“Asmodeus, keep your voice down, we are at RAD after all,” Satan scolds his brother, moving his attention from a book to you. He tries to look serious and collected, but you see that he is extremely curious about the whole situation.

“But how can you not laugh after what’s happened? I mean, Mammon is useless scum and all, but he is a demon. And a human was able to play him like a fiddle and force him into a pact.” Asmo talks only to Satan, purposely ignoring Mammon and you. Excellent, you definitely don’t want to engage with this demon in any way. You would actually prefer to never see him again. And it looks like the feeling is mutual.

“Pf… heheheh,” Satan lets a little chuckle escape his lips.

“Hey, I hear you laughing, Satan! I know you think it’s funny too!” Asmo is delighted. He may even try to drag Satan into bullying Mammon together.

“Hey, you two! Shut your mouths before I force ya to!” Mammon yells at them, but the demons ignore him.

“Mm, the cherry pie is exceptionally good today…” The only sane person in the room is Beel. He has around twenty pies on his desk, but they disappear with incredible speed.

All of a sudden, Asmodeus turns to you and tries to start a conversation. “I guess they really did know what they were doing when they picked you for the exchange program, huh?” He approaches you slowly, swaying his hips seductively. “I'm impressed. You may be an average human in terms of magic and strength, but you managed to make a pact with one of the Seven Rulers.” He sits on your table, looking at you from above. “What’s so special about you, hm?”

The audacity of this bitch is astonishing. Did Asmo choose to ignore everything that happened yesterday? You were literally attempting to murder each other, and now he acts like nothing happened?

“It’s not that I’m special in any way,” you decide to reply. You look into the demon’s eyes without fear. “It’s just that you are not as special as you think you are, Asmodeus.”

Asmo bares his teeth at you, even the most insane person couldn’t call this expression on the demon’s face a "smile". His usually beautiful and alluring face becomes predatory. You were right when you compared him to a siren earlier. He looks like a harpy that is ready to tear apart its prey.

“I’m trying so hard to be nice to you, little human,” he says softly. You hear new notes in his voice; it became more demonic, more monstrous. “But you insist on rejecting my love. Didn’t you understand how much I hate rejections?” He moves his face closer to you.

BAM!

Mammon smashes the top of Asmo’s head. It seemed really powerful, but Asmo doesn’t look too hurt. He is mostly offended that Mammon dared to hit him in the first place.

“OW! Why’d you hit me?! I can’t believe that you actually STRUCK my beautiful, beautiful head! Not even Lucifer has ever done something like that! Why are you always getting so VIOLENT with me, Mammon?!” he whines, finally backing away from you.

“Didn’t ya get enough scolding from Lucifer yesterday, Asmo? Quit threatenin’ Cas, you act like a fucking maniac!” Mammon tries to act like a big bro, but Asmodeus ignores him, as always.

“So he is 'Cas' already? What happened to 'stupid human'? Did the pact fry your brains, or did you simply fall in love with this mortal?” Asmo grins at his brother, making him blush. It’s a total defeat, Mammon instantly remembers the morning event and becomes unable to keep up with a quarrel.

“W-w-what? D-don’t ever say so-somethin’ like that! I’m gonna puke!..” he says, not convincing anybody.

“Oh my! You do have hots for our little human! It’s so cute and so sickening at the same time! You were made for each other; your couple will look like a pair of disgusting, stinky slugs! What a perfect match!” Asmo giggles, turning on the fight mode in both you and Mammon.

You two attack Asmodeus from both sides, dropping him on the floor. He squeals and wails, but with a little bit of teamwork, you manage to tie his arms with your belt (it’s a really good belt, made out of dragon skin; Diavolo spent a ton of money on the uniforms) and push Mammon’s tie deep in his throat to shut him up. You both sit on top of him to prevent from getting up.

“I know you won’t believe it, Castiel,” Satan says calmly, watching the show, “but Asmo can be rather nice and thoughtful when he wants. As Mammon said, he started acting like a real maniac once you arrived. I think he likes you, but since he is constantly surrounded by his fans, he has forgotten how to act around people who don’t adore him for his existence alone. As a result, he is being too clingy and scares you away,” the Avatar of Wrath declares his analysis. Asmo wiggles on the floor furiously, trying to shake you and Mammon off.

“I don’t think that 'clingy' is the right word,” Beel suddenly protests without stopping munching his eleventh pie. You didn’t expect him to join this conversation. “He almost killed Cas, and maybe he would have tried to do it again just now if Mammon didn’t stop him.”

“Don’t ya see that he is trying to kill us right fucking now?!” Mammon yells. “We could use a little help here, guys!” Asmodeus has already taken his demon form; he slaps Mammon with his wings from two sides, looking like a furious butterfly. Mammon is doing his best at holding down the upper body of his brother, but angry Asmo is a formidable opponent. You are a little bit luckier, you only have to hold down his legs. You push all your weight on him, but you feel that he will kick you off any second.  

“Exactly! He was being clingy, Castiel rejected him, he became angry and tried to kill him!” Satan ignores Mammon’s cry for help.

“It’s… shit, Asmo, stop kicking me… It’s not exactly how it was, Satan…” You try to take part in the conversation as well, but the Avatar of Lust knows too well how to maximize the efficiency of his body in a lying position.

Asmo manages to spit out Mammon’s tie (impressive mouth work) and screams, “I’m going to kill ALL of you right now!”

“What is the meaning of this?” You hear a cold, deep voice behind your back. Oh, no.

The scene Lucifer stumbles upon is bad enough by itself. But the worst thing is that he didn’t come alone.

“It sure is lively in here. Don’t you agree, Barbatos?” Diavolo enters the room right after Lucifer, smiling from ear to ear. Behind the prince, you see a stranger. He wears the same uniform as all of you, but he looks so noble and dignified in it, that even Diavolo and Lucifer can’t compete with him. He has a strange asymmetric haircut, with a lock of turquoise hair on one side.

“If you say so, Young Master,” he replies, even his voice is majestic. So he is Diavolo’s subordinate. Shit, the prince has good taste, he gathered around himself the hottest guys in all three worlds.

“Mammon, Castiel, release Asmodeus this instant.” Lucifer’s red eyes pierce through your very soul. You both get up and untie Asmo’s hands. He frowns and quietly growls at you but doesn’t try to strike. Asmo’s hair and make-up look messed up, so as soon as his hands are free, he pulls out the mirror and starts fixing his look. “I will deal with all of you at home. Now please, make an effort and stop being such a disgrace in front of Lord Diavolo.”

The prince laughs. “Don’t mind me, I just came to check on how things are going between you all. And based on what I’m seeing, Castiel fitted in rather nicely.”

Lucifer and Asmodeus quietly scoff at this, clearly disagreeing. You, on the other hand, are a little bit concerned: he’s right, you are starting to fit in, slowly but surely. It wasn’t in your plans. What happened to taking revenge for your kidnapping? You need to get your mind back on track. These are not your friends, don’t get too attached to them.

“As if my brothers weren’t already giving me headaches every single day,” Lucifer sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Now I have one more troublesome nuisance to look after.” You can’t say that you disagree with this characteristic, but still, what a brat.

A new voice intrudes into the conversation. “If I might offer my opinion, out of all of you, you’re the most troublesome, Lucifer.” An unknown man enters the room.

What was that about the hottest guys that surround Diavolo? It seems you were wrong; the most beautiful creature is standing right in front of you, and he is definitely not one of Diavolo’s people.

You instantly understand that he is an angel. He couldn’t be anyone else. His grace, his inner light, his big, wise eyes… The only thing that threw you off guard was his clothes. He is wearing a black bodysuit, the lower part of which is hidden beneath elegant white pants. The white and gold cape hides his exposed back, but his incredible hips are bare.

“Close your mouth, you look even more stupid than usual.” Asmo slightly slaps your chin to make your mouth shut. Shit, you didn’t notice when you started gawking at the angel that hard. Asmo seems annoyed: whether it’s because his hair is completely messed up after your fight, or his bad mood is caused by something else, you’re not sure.

Lucifer apparently knows this angel. He greets him with his on-brand cold stare. “Is that meant as a compliment, Simeon?” So that is what his name is. You want to know more about him. For example: is he single? Are angels even allowed to date anyone?

All of a sudden, you notice a little kid in the room. Was he always there? He is so small and angry-looking, it’s kind of funny. The boy wears the same white and gold colors as Simeon. Is he an angel as well? The little guy starts a beef with Lucifer, what a fearless little fella.

“Pff, of course not! Duh! That was a put-down! An insult! He’s taunting you!” He explains Simeon’s words to the stupid demon.

“Ah, I see you’ve brought your Chihuahua along with you.” Lucifer doesn’t look impressed. You quietly smirk: you are on the little fella’s side here, but the demon’s insult was too on point. The boy does look like a little noisy dog.

“I am NOT a Chihuahua! How many times do I have to tell you that, demon?!” The boy screams.

Suddenly, Diavolo decides to drag you into this conversation as well. “Allow me to introduce everyone to you, Castiel. There are quite a few new faces for you.” The prince points at his subordinate with a strange haircut. “Please meet Barbatos, my trusty steward. He is a man of many talents and an incredible person in general. If something out of the ordinary happens and I or Lucifer are not available, you can always ask Barbatos for help.”

Barbatos bows to you slightly, putting a hand over his heart.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” he says, looking in your eyes. He has strange eyes: they are dark green, but there is a mysterious golden light at the bottom. You remember the tales about evil spirits in the swamps, who lure the victims far away from the road with their lamps and make them drown. This golden light in his eyes reminds you of these tricky lamps. You awkwardly nod at his greeting.

Meanwhile, Diavolo starts introducing the magnificent angel to you. “This is Simeon. He’s an exchange student from the Celestial Realm. As you might’ve guessed, he is an angel.”

Simeon approaches you and offers you a handshake, which you happily accept. He is wearing black gloves, but you are glad to be able to touch his hand, even through fabric. You wince at your embarrassing thoughts. You really should stop drooling over some stranger, even if he is hot.

“Well, hello, Castiel. I’ve heard a lot of rumors!” The angel smiles kindly at you, and you feel butterflies in your stomach. You are not usually that desperate for some guy’s attention, what is happening? Is it some angelic superpower or you are that far gone?

“Nice to meet you, Simeon. Can’t imagine how I missed you at the Academy yesterday. I must’ve been completely blind!” You don’t know what you are talking about. Your mind is absent, and the only thing you can think of is how beautifully Simeon’s blue eyes combine with his dark skin.

“Oh, unfortunately, Luke and I had some business to attend to, so I wasn’t able to greet you on your first day. But I’m glad that we managed to meet at last.” He smiles even brighter, still holding your hand. You feel blessed.

Mammon and Asmo are standing with the same pissed-off looks on their faces, watching your lovely chat. Diavolo looks amused as always. You are grateful that he intrudes into the conversation once again, otherwise, you could stand and admire Simeon for all eternity.

“And this is Luke… Let’s see, you’re… a Chihuahua, was it? Or are you an angel?” He looks at the little guy, pretending to seriously consider whether Luke is a dog. Wow, you didn’t expect Diavolo to be such a meanie toward this child. He is an exchange student from another world, after all. Shouldn’t the future king be more… diplomatic?

Luke is surprised as well. “Wh…! Diavolo, now YOU’RE getting in on the act, too?! I am NOT a Chihuahua! I’m an angel!” He almost barks at the prince, how cute. The little angel turns to you, straightens up to seem taller than he is, and introduces himself. “Listen up! As you can probably tell, I’m a low-ranking angel. BUT I’ll have you know that in the Celestial Realm I report directly to Michael the Archangel, as…”

Simeon interrupts his little speech. “Luke, calm down. You need to learn not to make such a huge fuss about everything.”

“But Simeon!...” Luke protests. It’s a heartwarming scene, actually. They look like a mentor and his student. Or even like a family. It’s nice to be a witness to a healthy relationship for a change. Demon brothers are hopeless in this regard.

“He’s right.” Lucifer wouldn’t be Lucifer if he passed on an opportunity to discipline someone. “That’s exactly why people call you a Chihuahua, you know?”

“Usually, the only one who calls me that is YOU, Lucifer!” Luke angrily barks. With all this commotion, you don’t get the chance to greet the little angel properly.

“It’s nearly time for the first bell to sound,” Barbatos politely interrupts. He’s right, the lesson is about to start, but your classmates don’t dare enter the room while their prince is here.

“Yes, we should go now,” Simeon agrees. Damn, it seems he won’t stay. You are still confused about how everybody’s curriculum works. So far, it seems that every individual has a personalized schedule of classes. You're yet to study with other exchange students, but you hope that you will have a class with Simeon soon. “It was nice meeting you, Castiel. See you around.”

Simeon waves at you, nice. You wave back, hoping that you don’t look like a complete idiot. Simeon, Diavolo, Barbatos, and Luke all walk away together, leaving you with the brothers. With Lucifer in the room everyone behaves, so the class goes smoothly.

During break you decide to go to the canteen, but on your way there you meet a demon you didn’t expect to see.

“Bob?!” You stare at the bull-demon in RAD uniform.

“Hi, Castiel,” he greets you rather friendly. You expected him to escape as soon as he saw you. After all, you are always surrounded by the brothers he so fears. But right now you are alone, and he doesn’t mind talking. You choose to settle on a secluded bench in the hall with a scenic view of the enormous statue of the future king. Almost all the students of the Academy are in the canteen, so the hall is almost empty.

“I certainly didn’t expect to see you here. How are your knee and eye?” you ask as friendly as possible. He was your opponent once, but you already forgave him.

“They’re good, thanks. I heard that you are actually a mysterious exchange student everyone’s talking about. I didn’t realize that you were actually a human.” Bob looks at you curiously but without hostility. Even if he wants to eat your soul, he is too scared of brothers to do anything to you. There is no need to be on high alert around him, you decide.

“Does the fact that I’m a human bother you?”

“No, I’m just confused about how Lord Diavolo allowed you to live with the Seven Rulers, that’s all. From what I’ve heard, it’s not a suitable place for… anyone, really, not just humans,” he moos thoughtfully.

“And what exactly did you hear?” You actually feel safe in the House, despite its numerous quirks. But you won’t pass on any piece of information you can get.

“Well, it’s a cursed house with a dark history, but I don’t know much, only that a lot of people were killed there in the past. But that’s the least of your worries.” Bob looks anxious. Does he really worry about you? “Whenever brothers started a fight, the whole neighborhood was shaking. There were a lot of complaints from folks who lived nearby. Eventually, every single one of them moved out, because it wasn’t just irritating – it was dangerous. Now you won’t find any residential buildings in this area. I can’t imagine how it must feel to live in the House itself.”

“Well, so far, it was… Alright, I guess? I haven’t witnessed any grand-scale fights yet. Only a couple of days passed after all. I think I’ll manage; I only have to survive for one year.” You think that if something horrible happens, you should run to Cerberus. The underground chamber seems indestructible.

“I hope you’ll make it, it would be horrible to die so far from home,” Bob tries to give you moral support.

“Yeah, by the way, about near-death experiences… Why did you attack me the other day?” you ask without anger. You are genuinely curious.

“Oh, sorry about that. I was very drunk… I just lost my job, so I was very angry and drank too much,” he moos sadly.

“Shit, that’s rough, buddy. How did it happen?” You pat his shoulder slightly. Bob seems to appreciate this friendly gesture.

“My brains are not how they used to be… Do you know why the Academy exists?”

“It’s actually been on my mind for a little while. Why do grown-ass demons, who have lived for who knows how long, need to go to school? In the Human world we usually finish our education, then find a job, and work till we die. How does it work here?”

“Oh, makes sense, since humans live for… 70-80 years, correct? But demons live longer, too long. After some time our brains… spoil. Some demons become wild and uncontrollable. Some become too passive and struggle to do things they previously did,” Bob sighs. “I was an accountant. But I made several very crucial mistakes because my mind degraded. To prevent this, demons have to return to school every hundred years or so. Only constant and diverse brain work can return us back to how we were or prevent degradation from happening at all. I neglected it and paid for it. Now it will take some time for me to become how I used to be.”

“Damn, returning to school for all eternity… It is Hell.” Now it makes sense to you why everyone has personalized curriculums. Every demon is unique and requires an individual approach to stimulate their brain and stop degradation. That’s not an easy task, for sure.

“It was actually Lord Diavolo, who came up with that idea.” Bob looks at the monument. He may not like the Seven Rulers, but he certainly likes his prince. “He was the one who founded RAD. After demons got their chances to return to how they were before… Crime went down; all spheres, from science to art, started to develop more rapidly. Life became better. The constant chaos that ruled over all demons lost its grip. RAD is the heart of these changes. Lord Diavolo and the brothers govern it, being students themselves. That’s how they keep their minds sharp at all times. They have to, they are the rulers, after all.”

“Damn, I didn’t know that RAD was that important…” You also admire the statue of Diavolo, now you respect him much more. With the exchange program, RAD became not only the center of inner changes but also a foundation for peace between all three worlds. Diavolo is playing a very big game here. Will he pull it off? You kind of want to be around to witness it.

Your conversation is interrupted by a loud group of demons. They are standing nearby, discussing something they saw on the announcement board.

“What do you think they are so excited about?” you ask Bob.

“Hmm, hard to tell. There’s always something happening in the Devildom. Lord Diavolo makes sure to organize various events to keep folks entertained. There will be the exhibition of rare fruits and vegetables, the semi-finals of Fangol, a dancing competition, a fashion show with a lot of celebrities as models, a quiz on TSL with a big money prize… And it’s only from the top of my head.”

“Sounds interesting. Since I’m sort of a tourist here, I should visit some of these, I guess. What would you recommend?”

“I… I like flowers, so the exhibition of plants sounds good.” He answers a little bit nervously. Does he expect you to make fun of him? Well, you were quite mean to him, but you would never make fun of someone’s hobbies. Maybe a little bit of teasing can take place, but not for real.

“I’m more of a dance guy myself. By the way, since you like plants, did you like my bedroom? It’s cool, isn’t it?” You remember that Bob was in your bedroom once and decide to indulge him on the topic of his interests.

“It’s amazing. The tree that grows there, Custos Vivorum, is actually really powerful. It protects everything under its branches, that’s why all the other plants in the room grow so well. You don’t even have to look after them, the tree keeps them alive.”

“Wow, with such a cool tree by my side, I will survive for sure!” you say jokingly.

Unfortunately, your pleasant conversation is interrupted by a bell. It’s time to go to class. You wish Bob the best of luck, the shit he is going through can’t be easy. You hope you’ll meet the guy in the future, after all, you are going to the same school.

The day continues.

***

Upon arrival home, Lucifer dragged you, Mammon, and Asmo to the music room. You three had to listen to Lucifer’s lecture about your behavior for two hours. It was excruciating. He stopped only after your stomach started growling so loudly that you couldn’t hear a word he said. You didn’t eat for a whole day; shopping with Mammon and talking with Bob were higher priorities, but they made you skip both breakfast and lunch.

When you finally got your hands on food, you couldn’t stop stuffing your face with it. Starvation made all the meals taste like the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten. Levi, who was on cooking duty today, looked happy as hell. He was stealthily putting more and more food on your plate, making Beel jealous. When you started teasing Levi about it, he pretended that he didn’t know what you were talking about.

After dinner, you rushed to your room to finish your tasks as fast as possible. You couldn’t wait to visit Cerberus again. Your studies were temporarily interrupted by Mammon, who brought all your shopping bags to your room. He complained loudly and endlessly about how you made him drag all your shit right into your room. He stopped his bravado only after you reminded him that you didn’t ask anything of the sort and that it was fully his initiative.

Before going to Cerberus, you found Satan in the library, reading his book and drinking something from his new cup. You finally got valuable information about the washing machine from him. Apparently, it was in the bathroom on the second floor. You didn’t recognize it earlier, since it was some old-fashioned model that looked like a metal barrel. But it was magical, so it should deal with your poor hoodie just fine.

Your quality time with Cerberus was definitely the highlight of the day. This time you found the good boy in his lair, which was not so far from the spot of your first meeting. He seemed happy to see you. After some intense petting and singing, Cerberus fell asleep with all his three heads, and you got a chance to explore the surroundings.

You found tons of stuff needed for taking care of such an enormous dog. A fridge full of high-quality meat, a spare stock of giant dog collars with spikes, indestructible huge balls to play with, hygiene products for dogs, and a special shower for the big boy. Whoever is the rightful owner of Cerberus, they take care of him very well. You wondered if Cerberus had the ability to leave the underground chamber. Nightmarish monster or not, every dog needs to go for a walk from time to time.

You returned to your room, took a shower, and went to sleep. Today was a relatively normal day, you thought. A lot of crazy stuff happened as always, but there was only one death-threatening situation caused by Asmo, and it was definitely a success in your book.

…

But for some reason, you can’t sleep. You have this uneasy feeling, very similar to the one you felt waking up on the stone floor of the courtroom. Problems. You feel them creeping up, and you have no idea how to avoid them.

…elp…

Huh? You hear a weak, distant voice from somewhere.

Help… Someone help me…

Somebody or something is pleading for help. Now you know how to avoid future problems! You turn to the other side of your bed and put a pillow on your head to block all the sounds. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help. The voice transmits right into your mind, like someone is speaking with you telepathically. Shit, it’s a trap, there's no doubt. It’s the most obvious trap you’ve ever seen.

Please…

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! Fine! Quit whining already! Shut up!” you angrily shout into the darkness of your room. You leave the bedroom, using a phone as your flashlight. For some reason, you are sure that the voice is coming from the second floor, so you go there.

You wander around the house as quietly as possible. Perhaps it would be better to wake someone up, it’s not safe to investigate a mysterious voice on your own. But the voice keeps begging you to hurry up, to not tell anybody, to go to the attic… There is something hypnotic in this voice, it doesn’t make you a complete dummy, but it makes you want to trust it. So you continue to go alone.

You approach a spiral staircase at the end of the corridor. You swear that you haven’t seen it before. But now it’s here.

…Over here!

The voice becomes more demanding and impatient. It starts to lose its charm. You stop, not attempting to go further. It’s a dumb idea. You are going right into someone’s trap. You need to go back.

You turn around to return to your room but suddenly run into someone. You immediately prepare for an attack but freeze once you hear a familiar, deep voice.

“Castiel.”

Lucifer stares at you from the darkness with his red eyes. A terrifying sight, to be honest.

“Damn you, Lucifer,” you sigh, putting a hand over your heart. He scared you to bits, again. “I swear, I will buy you a collar with a bell. I’m tired of almost shitting my pants because of your sick habit of approaching me from behind,” you say half-jokingly.

Lucifer doesn’t seem to appreciate your humor in the slightest. He ignores your commentary completely.

“What are you doing here? It’s not a place for humans, it’s dangerous. Go back to your room,” he says and crosses his arms.

“Actually, I was going right there, so don’t worry,” you say, bypassing him and making the distance between you as big as possible. You feel the glance of red eyes on you, even after you return to your room and crawl into bed. You feel Lucifer watching you, who knows how.

You point the middle finger into the darkness of the bedroom and say, “I want to jerk off in peace, so stop staring at me, you creep.”

The feeling of Lucifer’s sight on you disappears immediately. Just great. First, this fucking ghost intrudes into your brain, and now Brat decides to stalk you. You have even less personal space than you had in an orphanage, and you didn’t think it was even possible.

On another note, something interesting is in the attic. Before Lucifer appeared you thought that it was some kind of hungry monster that wanted to lure you in and kill. But Lucifer definitely guards this thing. Why? What is it? There is a potential for chaos, for sure. You just need to be careful and not die in the process of your investigation.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

I don’t like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go but there’s comfort in the panic

Linkin Park – Heavy

You sit on your bed, reading a history textbook. Specifically the chapter about founding RAD. The theme piqued your interest after that conversation with Bob. It seems like an important moment in all demons’ lives. It’s really bizarre to read about events from hundreds of years ago and still see familiar faces in the pictures. Neither the brothers nor Diavolo and Barbatos have changed one bit since then. They are depicted in their demonic forms, with wings and tails and stuff. You only saw Asmo’s demon form before, but now you can examine other demons as well.

Some of them are majestic, some cool, some are rather strange, but they're all unique. What pisses you off is that you can’t find the missing brother in any of the pictures. It’s like he never existed at all. You wanted to find the info on him from books like this one, since brothers refuse to talk about their youngest. But no luck so far.

“I can’t believe that you’re readin’ first thing in the mornin’!” Mammon rudely storms through the door without any attempt to knock. He jumps on a chair in front of you and examines your look. The greedy demon seems content: you are wearing a t-shirt and jeans he personally chose for you yesterday. Mammon has a good taste, that’s for sure.

“I have a lot of time before classes today, so I decided to do something useful. Maybe you should do the same?” you offer him, not moving your gaze from a picture of brothers in the book. Mammon’s demon form is so revealing that it would suit the Avatar of Lust rather than Greed. “How about being my study partner? You would really help me if you took your demonic form. The photos are not enough for my… in-depth research.” 

“Haa? I won’t take my demon form just for your stupid research, human. Maybe if ya pay me, let’s say… one million grimm, I might consider it.” Mammon grins, starting to swing on the chair.

“Is money your only motivation in life?”

“Well, duh, I’m the Avatar of Greed, did ya forget already?” The demon shrugs.

“And there is no chance that you will help me just out of the goodness of your heart?” you ask, thinking about the mysterious voice you heard this night.

“Ahahaha! Good one, Cas. A demon with a good heart, yeah, sure,” the demon laughs, almost falling from the chair, but he manages to stabilize himself last second. 

“I’ve seen a lot of evil people, and you are definitely not one of them.” You are honest with him. Mammon is not perfect in any way, but you can’t call him a bad guy.

“I won’t take my demon form just because you’re curious!” For some reason, Mammon blushes. Is it his reaction to basically calling him a good person? Right, you almost forgot that he enjoys some praise.

“I’m not talking about this kind of help. I need advice.”

“Argh, why do I have to be bonded with such a noisy human? What did ya get yourself into again?” He does his best to look annoyed but is still ready to hear you out. What a cutie.

“I need to get to the attic, but Lucifer is blocking my way. Do you know how I could distract him?”

“Wait, the attic? Where did this come from?”

“I’m talking about the spiral stairs on the second floor. I assumed they led to the attic.”

“Well, yeah, but… Shit, here ya go again, stickin’ your nose where it doesn’t belong…” Mammon scratches the back of his head, not sure if he should help you.

Damn, you need some kind of leverage. Maybe you can blackmail him with what happened yesterday in his bed? No, you might get his help right now, but he won’t trust you anymore after that. Blackmail is not an option, so you try to bribe him.

“Fine, I’m even more broke than you are, Mammon, so the best I can do is to offer to repay you in some other way. Is there something you want from me? Other than nonexistent money.”

“I… want from you?..” Mammon blushes once again, hiding his gaze. Yeah, he definitely remembered that morning. He acts like he has a crush on you, but does he really? “I… want…” he says without looking you in the eyes. He looks at your lips.

“Yeah?” you smirk. Oh, he definitely has a crush on you. Asmo was right, he must be a masochist.

“Nothing… I don’t want anything…” Mammon closes his eyes, trying to regain his senses. Well, that was disappointing. Who would’ve thought that demons could be so sensitive? You will never get laid at this rate. “All right, human. Ya need to distract Lucifer? Well, then, it’s easier than ya think. I’m only gonna say it once, so pay attention!” He returns to his usual demeanor. Luckily for you, Mammon decides to help unconditionally. This big softie is definitely not a bad guy. You straighten up and lean toward him to show that you are paying as much attention as possible. “Ya know that series Levi likes? The Tale of the Seven… How was it?”

“Seven Lords? The TSL thing?”

“Right, yeah, that’s the one. Anyway, ya need to get your hands on an exclusive vinyl edition copy of the soundtrack for that Tales of… whatever. You can use it to distract Lucifer, no problem!”

“Is he some kind of collector of rare recordings?”

“Yeah, something like that. Always hoards somethin’ creepy or cursed. Did ya see all the paintings on the walls? It’s his collection. Only such a sick bastard as him would treasure something like that. I can’t even sell this stuff to anyone! Nobody wants it besides this guy,” Mammon complains to you.

“Yes, they made a strong impression on me when I first got here. I’m not surprised that it’s his stuff. So, do you know where I can find this vinyl copy?”

“Levi must have it. He is an absolute maniac for this series,” the demon responds.

“Great, thank you!” You get out of bed and go to the door. Mammon is still sitting on a chair, so it’s easy for you to pat his head as you pass by him. His hair is soft and pleasant to the touch; you definitely need to pat Mammon more often. You don’t see his reaction, but you bet that he is blushing again.

You decide to act immediately, so you head to Levi’s room. To your surprise, you find Mammon marching right behind you.

“What?” he asks, seeing your confusion. “I don’t have anything goin’ on anyway, so… Yeah. C’mon, keep moving.” He speeds up, outrunning you. Hm, no, that won’t do. You also speed up and outrun him in return. He speeds up even more…

You end up racing all the way to Levi’s door. Mammon wins, but he looks so happy that you don’t mind being a loser. You knock on Levi’s door and wait for an answer.

“Who’s that?” You hear the voice from the other side of the door.

“It’s Cas and…”

“GO AWAY!” A sudden scream shocks you. What the hell?.. Mammon leans on the wall, watching the scene silently.

“Levi, are you okay?” you ask. You didn’t expect such a "warm" welcome from him. You thought that Levi was already on rather friendly terms with you, so such a reaction looks out of place.

“NO! I-I mean… Yes! Just… Go away, I don’t want to talk with you! With… a traitorous human-normie!” Leviathan shouts at you.

“Huh? Come on, man. You can’t just call me that without any explanation! Open the door, let’s talk.” You try to turn the doorknob, but it’s still closed.

“Nah, he won’t open the door,” Mammon whispers. “And won’t explain anythin', either. He wants ya to guess what’s up with him and apologize. That’s Levi with his mind games to ya.” Levi confirms Mammon’s words with his next phrase.

“I don’t need to explain anything to you! If you don’t know what you’ve done, then leave me alone!”

Oh my God. An ancient creature with the mind of a moody teen, wonderful. Shit, fine, you try to guess what he is talking about. You complimented his food earlier, you made Mammon pay to him, you made a pact with Mammon as planned… A pact… Freezer… Shit! You totally forgot about your competition. You agreed to be his kind of servant for two weeks.

But he is so upset over that, seriously? And you're supposed to apologize for this shit? Hell no.

“If you are talking about our bet that you won, I’m not the one to blame. I was waiting for you to tell me what I’m supposed to bring you, but you never did. You locked yourself in your room, playing your stupid game or whatever, and ignored all my messages. And now you are playing a victim over such a trivial matter. Grow up already!” You are not angry, but you sure are annoyed. He’s supposed to be a mature man but acts like a child. You may have patience for his nerdy mumbling but not for this kind of behavior.

“Bad move, Cas,” Mammon whispers to you again. “Should’ve just apologized.”

“You are right,” Levi is no longer screaming, his voice sounds lifeless and depressed. “I’m literal garbage for starting yelling at you like that. I got so angry when you didn’t come in the morning but totally forgot that I didn’t even tell you what I prefer to drink! And even ignored your messages… "Our Life – Beginnings & Always" released a new story update, so I turned off my phone to enjoy it without distractions…  I’m trash, unworthy trash, and a waste of space. A scumbag, who is even worse than Mammon,” Mammon wants to protest, but you put a hand over his mouth. You have a feeling that it would be best if Levi doesn’t know that his brother is here. Mammon calms down in an instant, breathing softly into your hand. “A shut-in otaku, who doesn’t even know how to talk to people. I bet I make you sick. You must stand there, thinking, 'When will this guy shut up? I hate him so much!' And you are right, I deserve only hate. How could anyone ever like me? I’m not as beautiful as Asmo, or clever as Satan, or cool and buff as Beel. I’m so worthless. I wish I could just disappear.”

Holy fuck, and what are you supposed to do with that? You are not very good at talking to people in general, and especially to the depressed ones. But you have to react, he doesn’t want to hear out Mammon or anyone else. He wants to hear you.

“Levi, tell me what you want to drink right now. I will bring it to you, and then we will talk. Sounds good?” You say it as softly as you can.

He doesn’t respond for a whole minute, making you worry. But at last he replies, “Water. I… just want water.”

“Great, give me a second, I’ll be right back.” You turn around and run to the kitchen. Mammon is right beside you.

You arrive at the kitchen and pour a glass of water. Mammon decides to explain Levi’s behavior before you return to his room.

“Don’t worry, Levi is always negative like that. Some days are worse than the others, though. He has been moody for a while now, stopped goin’ to RAD. We usually leave him alone, and he returns to normal after a while. But this time he takes longer than usual.”

“You didn’t try to talk to him? He is your brother, after all,” you ask. You don’t have any brothers, or a family for that matter, but you think that even such a dysfunctional family as this one should support its members. After all, no matter how much they fight, they still live together. There must be some kind of love between them, right?

“He hates talkin’ to us when he is like that. It only makes him angrier. If he wants to talk to someone, he just texts them, askin’ to come to his room. But if you’re not invited, it’s useless to even try to get somethin’ outta him. He wants to talk to you now, I can tell.”

“Okay, I hope I won’t make things worse,” you sigh. You are fully aware of how harsh you can be at times.

“Nah, don’t worry. Just hear him out, that’s all he needs,” Mammon assures you. He moves behind your back and slightly pushes you in the direction of the door. “Now go, if you take too long, he'll start tormentin’ himself for no reason.”

You return to Levi’s room, this time without Mammon. The door opens by itself. You find the demon curled up in his bathtub.

“I brought some water,” you say awkwardly. You settle on the beanbag chair next to him.

“Thanks…” He turns to you and slightly rises from his bathtub to take the glass from your hands. You give it to him carefully. Levi sips it and puts it down on the table nearby. He looks really torn up. “I’m sorry for screaming at you…”

“Don’t worry, everybody has bad days. But I want to know why your day is bad. I don’t think that our bet is the only reason,” you say with a soft and calming voice. If you want to get that record, you need to make Levi feel better. You hope that a simple heart-to-heart talk will be enough.

“It’s... It will sound too stupid…” Levi is hesitant to open up to you. He wants it, though; otherwise, he wouldn’t let you in his room.

“I don’t think so. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

“…Fine. Fine! You won. Right… Well, you know that… Beel does sports, right?” That… is not the question you expected.

“Well, I definitely assumed, but I don’t know the specifics,” you carefully reply.

“He is in the Fangol team.”

“Oh, I heard about that. The semi-finals are soon, right?” You have no idea what this sport even is, you just repeat the information you got from Bob.

“Even you heard, huh… Yes, he is the captain, the most popular player. I went on his previous game with others, he needed our support after… Never mind. And of course, his team won. Beel is… always the winner. He looked so cool, fans cheered him on, hoping to get a chance to hug him or shake his hand.” Levi frowns and sighs. So he is just jealous of Beel’s popularity? Isn’t he a proud and independent shut-in? “People love him. No matter how much he eats, no matter how much stuff he destroys out of anger when he is hungry… Did you know that he usually takes the third place in popularity contests? He surpasses even Asmo, and loses only to Lucifer and Lord Diavolo. He is the chosen one, and I'm… A piece of trash, who got jealous of his brother’s popularity. And the thing is, I hate crowds! Even if I magically appeared on that field instead of Beel, I would be terrified. So many people, trying to touch you… But such love, the cheering of the crowd… Must feel nice, don’t you think? I wish I could be as cool as Beel…”

“Is that why you avoided him?” you ask. Well, no surprise here: the Avatar of Envy is simply jealous. All the brothers are unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses, so it’s a great fuel for Levi’s insecurities. This time it’s Beel, but there is no guarantee that next week he won’t get jealous of Asmo for his beauty or Lucifer for his power.    

“Of course! How could I look him in the eyes while thinking all that? So after that game I just… I didn’t feel like going to the Academy anymore. And talking to Beel. I just… can’t. I know that I make him worried, but I can’t.”

Okay, the problem is clear to you: you just need to boost the nerd’s self-esteem. You have to make him feel good about himself. And to achieve that, he needs to showcase his abilities, preferably in front of a tolerant audience. And you think you have a perfect plan.

“Hm, so you want to be cheered on by the crowd, but you think that you don’t have what it takes?”

“Yes…”

“Well, I’ve got great news for you!” You announce as cheerfully as possible. Levi is surprised to see you that energetic all of a sudden. “You will take part in a prestigious quiz on TSL!”

“Wait, what? A quiz on TSL? When did that happen?” Levi almost jumps out of his bathtub in shock. Great, that’s the spirit you were looking for. You just hope that Bob didn’t mix up anything and the said quiz is indeed happening.

“When you were sulking in your lair! But I don’t know the details, better look the specifics up.”

But Leviathan doesn’t need you to tell him what to do, he is already browsing the web in search of info.

“I can’t believe I almost missed it… Look!” He crawls out of the bathtub and sits next to you on the beanbag chair in one swift motion. That was fast, and Levi claimed that Mammon is even faster than him? You’re screwed if you get in any kind of fight with one of the brothers, aren’t you?

Levi got too excited to notice that your arms and legs are now touching. Luckily, the chair is spacious enough for two people, and Levi’s body is very slim, so you are still comfortable. But it would be even better if he just sat on your lap. Purely to save space, of course. Leviathan shows you the RAD site on his phone. There is an announcement about the quiz. “The event takes place in two days at the building of RAD… Look how much money you get for the first place! I can finally buy an exclusive figurine of Celestia in her costume from the second season! The costume from the first season was also amazing, but after the Renaissance arc, she finally starts wearing what she wants, which was a major development of her character. She gets to express herself, and I'm obviously not talking only about her clothes, and this new costume symbolizes everything she’s been through…”

“So you will take part in this event, right?” You interrupt Leviathan’s agitated mumbling.

“You bet I do! There is no bigger TSL fan than me! I would never forgive myself if I missed this quiz and didn’t pay respects to the best series in all three worlds!” Levi gets so excited that he needs a second to catch a breath. Well, he definitely doesn’t look so gloomy anymore. Another crisis averted. “Cas, I… Tha-..” Levi shyly turns his face to you and is about to say his thanks when he realizes that you are close. Too close. You're both stuck to each other, in one chair, your bodies touch along the whole length, leaving no room for the Holy Spirit. Well, the time has come. You brace yourself.

“AAARHGAARSAAA!” Levi lets out a truly monstrous screech and falls on the floor. Your ears don’t feel so good, this was even more brutal than Cerberus’ barking. You glance at the glass of water you brought earlier: Levi’s shout was so loud that the glass shattered. It takes a second for the door to open; Mammon, summoned by Levi’s screams, storms into the room, ready to jump into action. But he slips on a manga that was lying on the floor and crashes into the bookcase; several tomes fall on his head. You notice Beel, who peeks into the room but doesn’t dare to enter.

“OUCH!” Both Mammon and Levi put their hands on the injured parts of their bodies.

“Are you guys okay?” Beel asks, but he doesn’t sound worried. He must be used to his brothers’ shenanigans.

“Levi, when was the last time you cleaned your damn room?!” Mammon asks, picking up the manga that made him fall and throwing it across the room. He is furious that he fell so stupidly.

“Seriously?! Your bedroom is a literal dump, but you criticize me? Argh, what are you all even doing here?” Levi asks both Mammon and Beel, slowly rising from the floor.

“I heard a scream, like someone was tearin’ apart a livin' pig or somethin’, and ran to help.” Mammon gets up, trying to pretend that he didn’t just fall a second ago.

“I was on my way to the kitchen but heard a lot of noise. So what happened?” Beel looks at you, checking if you are injured in some way.

“Levi will take part in the TSL quiz,” you simply reply.

“Huh? A quiz, seriously? Sounds lame…” Mammon says, but quickly changes the tune once he sees you signaling him from behind Levi’s back. “…I mean cool! Sounds cool! That’s the stuff you’re talkin’ about constantly, right? Nobody has a chance at beatin’ ya.”

Meanwhile, Beel searches for the info about the event on his phone. “Hm, it’s in two days… I have training, but I’ll try to ask the coach to let me go. I’m not sure that I’ll make it though, the semi-finals are soon…” He seems genuinely upset that he might miss his brother’s big moment.

“D-don’t worry, it’s alright,” Levi says nervously. Beel is ready to support him, even after Leviathan spent days avoiding his bro. The envious demon must feel bad about this whole situation.

“Wait a minute!...” Mammon approaches Beel and looks into his phone to read about the quiz as well. “Look at the prize money! The sum is huge!”

“Well, yeah, the event is sponsored by the wealthiest fans of the series, so the prize is bigger than usual,” Levi shrugs. He takes part in the quiz not to win money, he is going to show everybody that he is the superior fan of them all. “So… Cas, um… You’ve never read or watched TSL before, right?” he asks, returning his attention to you. You nod and wait for him to continue. “I’ll have a marathon of TSL, to prepare for the event, so… You could, you know… If you want…”

“CAS! We’re goin’ to watch the whole thing, ya got me? I’ll take part in this stupid quiz!” Mammon interrupts Levi with a sudden announcement.

“What?! You can’t do that! You don’t know a single thing about TSL, you’re only going to embarrass me by being eliminated in the first round!” Levi protests, terrified of the thought that Mammon is serious. But Mammon is serious.

“C’mon, how hard can it be? We have plenty of time to prepare! I need to win this prize money!” the greedy demon exclaims. His self-confidence is most admirable, but you know one thing for sure: you can’t beat a nerd in the thing they’re passionate about. Mammon has no chances.

“Okay, you want to take part as well, great. But why did you say that 'we' are going to watch the whole thing?” you ask. You are not sure if you want to waste your time on TSL.

“Hey, don’t be like that! Ya need to learn about our culture for your exchange program, don’t ya? The Tales of Seven… whatever, this thing is so famous that everybody should know it! So you’re obligated to learn all about it, got it?” Mammon tries to persuade you. But why? He just wants a company to watch something he is not really interested in? Or he wants to spend more time with you specifically? You did reach the conclusion that Mammon has a crush on you, but you can never really be certain of such things.

“However, the author of the series is a human, so it’s not exactly 'your' culture.”

“See? Ya already know so much! With your help I’ll get the prize in no time!” The demon changes his strategy of persuasion and starts to butter you up. He won’t give up until you say yes, will he?

“Fine, I suppose I can spare some of my time.”

“I will join as well,” Beel intrudes.

“Wh-! But why?!” Mammon asks loudly, he doesn’t look content with this turn of events. Maybe he was indeed planning to watch TSL and chill.

“I always wanted to watch it, but it’s too long to sit through alone. And when there’s a movie marathon, there’s popcorn,” Beel replies with a smile, already dreaming about tasty, crunchy food. Mammon only scoffs at this, visibly annoyed. You return your attention to Levi: you get the impression that he also wants to watch TSL with company.

“Levi, what about you? Wanna join us? Mammon will buy popcorn for all of us.”

“Huh?! Why me?!”

“Because it was your idea in the first place. Consider it an investment in your future victory,” you smile at him shamelessly. After all, he is the one with the legendary golden credit card, not you.

“Argh, I hate ya! Fine, I’ll buy some after school,” Mammon agrees surprisingly easily. You smirk: who needs a pact when you can make the demon do what you want without any magic. “Levi, you want some too, or what?”

“I…” Levi stands with his head down, avoiding your gaze. You missed when he became all negative again. “I will watch alone. I have a lot of work to do, and you will only hold me back.”

“They say that the best way to remember things is to explain them to somebody else.” You try to persuade Levi to join your bunch. The demon should get out of his lair and hang out with his bros. “So if you tell us all about TSL while we watch it, it will be a great way to prepare for the quiz.”

“Thanks, Cas, but… I can’t afford to lose.” Levi says. He sounds sad, but you won’t push any further.

“Okay, but you are always welcome to join if you change your mind.”

You and Mammon head to the door, it’s almost time for breakfast. Beel has already left, must’ve gone to the kitchen. He will certainly try to snatch something before breakfast even starts. But as you are about to leave the bedroom, you are stopped by Levi, so Mammon goes without you.

“I want to make another bet with you,” Levi says, looking very determined.

“Hm? How interesting; it seems you like to gamble as much as Mammon,” you tease the demon, making him cringe.

“Please, don’t compare me to Mammon ever again, it’s insulting.”

“Okay, so what are we betting on?”

“If… No, when I win, I get one wish. One wish that I want you to make come true.” Levi stares at you with his orange eyes, waiting for your response.

“Oh? So you can ask for anything awful or even… perverted, and I won’t be able to refuse?” you ask, more teasingly than really being concerned.

“NO! I… You must’ve mistaken me for one of my brothers. Of course, you will be able to refuse. And it won’t be anything awful or… yeah.” Levi can’t make himself say the other word, he is too embarrassed already.

“And if you lose?” you smirk.

“If I lose… You can ask for anything you want. And to be clear: I don’t ask you to put your faith in Mammon. We both know that he won’t win. But if I don’t get first place, then you will be the winner of our bet,” Levi assures, nervously twisting his fingers.

“Hm, I do want to borrow something from you, so I agree to this bet. I can’t help but wonder: what will your wish be?” You don’t worry about this bet that much. After all, you can always refuse to do whatever Levi asks of you. And the whole idea sounds rather fun.

“I will tell you if… No, when I win!” Levi replies, he tries to look more confident than he really is. But you actually have doubts about the results of the quiz. While you don’t question Levi’s knowledge of TSL, his performance in front of an audience may suffer. Some people can forget even their name if they are too nervous, and Levi will for sure get nervous in front of a crowd.

“All right, let it be a surprise. So, do you know anyone I can put my faith in? Is there another die-hard fan like you? Or the whole thing is rigged from the start, and I don’t have a chance to win the bet?”

“Well, there are some hardcore fans, but they are no match for me,” Levi says, deep in thought. He suddenly frowns. “Wait, how could I forget about him?”

“Oh, who are you talking about?”

“Solomon…” Levi replies, his face twisting like he ate a lemon.

“Huh? Snow White? He is a fan of TSL too?” It’s very unexpected. You don’t know a single thing about your fellow human, but you didn’t expect him to be a fanboy of the series. And more so, to be the one that Levi, the nerdiest nerd, fears.

“Yeah, I’d say he is as knowledgeable as me. I had an opportunity to speak with him about TSL, when I was still going to the Academy…”

“Wait, so he was here way before I arrived?” You’re surprised. You thought that all the exchange students appeared in the Devildom at the same time.

“Yes, it was decided from the start that he will be in the exchange program. But there were problems with the second human. Some thought that we should select a mage, like Solomon. They could hold their own against demons, and they would know about the existence of the Devildom beforehand. But Lord Diavolo, for some reason, was sure that we should invite a regular human instead. It took a lot of time to organize everything, so by the time we were able to teleport you here, Solomon has already been studying at RAD for some time,” Levi explains.

“So Diavolo decided to make things more difficult for everyone, I’m not surprised,” you smile. Despite all the never-ending dangers you encounter every day, your anger toward the prince fades slowly but surely. You are glad that you got the chance to get into the Devildom. But it doesn’t mean that you gave up the idea of your revenge. There is something in the attic, and you have a feeling that you can use it to your advantage. “Okay, I’m going to find Solomon at the Academy today, want to find out if he takes part in the quiz.”

“You’re not going to cheer for him, right?...” Levi asks rather timidly.

“Why not? He is my best shot at winning the bet after all.” You grin at the demon. “Or you want me to cheer you on instead?”

“N-no! That’s not what I meant!” Levi waves his hands defensively and blushes profusely. He takes several deep breaths to calm his nerves and tries to gently kick you out of his room. “I need to start preparations, so…”

“Yeah, already leaving you alone. Good luck, nerd,” you wave at him and close the door on your way out.

Well, it didn’t go too badly. Levi definitely looks better than before, so you didn’t screw up too much. On another note: you need to urgently find a partner for quick sex. Because your brain definitely doesn’t work as intended. You start imagining things, like hints of affection not only from Mammon but from Levi as well. You are hot stuff, but making two ancient demons have a crush on you while knowing them for only several days? No, impossible, that’s just your horny brain talking. Too bad that your relationship with Asmo was ruined, he would be the safest option.

Usually you would go to the club for a quick hookup, but it's very dangerous to go out at the darkest hours. You are also not a big fan of sex with unknown demons. Who knows what kind of strange quirks their body might have – it can be pretty much harmful or deadly for you. None of the demonic brothers is suitable for sex without commitment. Any kind of relationship with them is a recipe for disaster, really. Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon – they are way out of your league. Which leaves you with only one option…

***

Finding Solomon is not as easy as you hoped. The building of RAD is huge, so a search for one particular person is a big challenge. But it's worth it since you stumble upon Simeon, who is sitting in an empty classroom, writing something.

“Hi, Simeon!” You greet him cheerfully. Just the fact that you met him made your day much better. He flashes you a warm smile, moving his attention from the writing to you.

“Hi, Tiel. Do you mind if I call you like that?”

“Not at all. Everybody shortens my name however they please, I’m used to it,” you shrug, settling on a chair close to Simeon.

“You have a very beautiful name. It’s just that I already have an acquaintance who is called very similarly. Will it be rude to assume that you were named after him?”

“You are correct, actually. The lady who gave me my name, the headmistress of an orphanage, is very religious. So she really likes to name children who got to her without any documents or mentions of their names after angels.” You smile at your memories. Life at the orphanage wasn’t full of happiness and joy, but it had its good moments. The headmistress was definitely one of the best parts of your childhood, a heroic woman indeed. “Apparently, on my first day in her establishment, I cried nonstop. Nothing could calm me down. So she named me after the Angel of Tears – Cassiel. Funny how she basically called me a crybaby, but I actually like my name.”

“This is very heartwarming. I’m glad that your name brings up only pleasant emotions in you.” Simeon’s smile becomes even warmer; you feel so calm and comfortable near him. Maybe if you spend more time with him, his heavenly light will fix everything that is broken inside you?

“So Cassiel really exists, huh? What kind of person is he?” You are curious about the angel. The Celestial Realm interests you as much as the Devildom, you wonder if you ever have a chance to get there.

“To be completely honest, I don’t know. I’ve seen him briefly several times, but he is very… He prefers a secluded lifestyle and watches everything from afar. When I have a chance, I’ll definitely tell him about you. I think he will be pleasantly surprised.” Simeon seems a little bit upset that he can’t tell you much. He is so adorable.

“Sure. By the way, I’m actually looking for Solomon, have you seen him?” As much as you enjoy spending time with the angel, you have a task at hand. You’ll have plenty of time to bask in his light later.

“Oh? Did you, perhaps, take a liking to Solomon? Given that he is also human,” Simeon asks curiously. There is something sly about his smile and gaze. The angel is not as simple as he seems. But it makes you like him even more.

“Well… I just want to discuss the upcoming TSL quiz with him, that’s all.”

“How interesting. Do you want to take part as well? Are you, perhaps, a fan of TSL?” Simeon seems very interested in your answer. Is everyone here a TSL geek?

“Unfortunately, I haven’t seen or read it yet. But we are going to have a marathon of DVD series tonight. You are welcome to join us, if you want,” you offer. You would be a fool if you didn’t try to invite Simeon over.

“It would be fantastic, but I know TSL a little bit too well, so I don’t think that I will enjoy the marathon. Even with such pleasant company.” The angel smiles at you so brightly that you don’t feel any sadness after he rejects your invitation.

“You sound awfully confident. Are you going to take part in the event?”

“Oh no, that would be completely unfair. I want to give others a chance to shine. But I certainly will be among the spectators.”

“Wow, didn’t expect you to be so smug, Simeon,” you smirk at him.

“Well, I have an objectively good reason, I assure you. But I won’t tell you right away, I want to give you a chance to guess,” Simeon says with a cheeky smile. “As for Solomon, he has a class on the third floor, near the statue of the beheaded goblin. I’m sure you won’t miss it.”

“Splendid, thank you,” you say, rising to your feet. “Catch up with you later, Simeon!”

“Have a nice day, Tiel,” the angel waves at you.

You rush to the third floor, hoping to meet Solomon before the break ends. And you sure are lucky today: here he is, sitting in the quiet corner, all alone. The Seven Rulers aren’t the only outcasts at the Academy. The exchange students, including you, are not in favor among local folk either. So you aren’t surprised that you found both Simeon and Solomon in secluded places. If anything, it’s most beneficial, since you can speak to them privately whenever you want.

You settle next to Solomon, waiting for him to finish reading the book in his hands. As far as you can tell, it’s an alchemy book; the language is unknown to you, but you are sure that it’s not a human language. It takes some time for Solomon to notice that he is not alone anymore, he got too invested in his book. Though you are sure that if instead of you there was someone with malicious intents, Solomon would notice them from a mile away.

“Castiel! Hi, sorry, didn’t notice you there,” Solomon smiles apologetically, the book disappears into thin air. A cool trick, you wish you could do that.

“Hello, fellow human. It’s alright, sorry for the interruption.”

“Do you want to discuss something, or have you stopped by to say hi?” he asks, knowing too well that you wouldn’t be so friendly if you didn’t have a business to discuss.

“Just wanted to know if you are going to take part in the TSL quiz,” you reply. You have other things on your mind as well, but it's neither the right place nor time to discuss them.

“Of course I am. I didn’t expect you to be interested in it, though.”

“I’m not interested in the event, but I am looking forward to seeing you victorious.” You decide that a little bit of flattery might be just what you need.

“Haha, I don’t think that you say these kind words because you suddenly changed your mind about my persona, do you?” Solomon laughs, but his eyes are as observant as always. You understand why Mammon has chills from this guy.

“Well, we didn't have the smoothest of starts, but I think we can get along. I surely promise to make an effort, being on bad terms will be counterproductive,” you say honestly. There are too many potential perks if you manage to befriend Solomon. But you need to be vigilant around him at all times.

“Hm, very well. I suppose I should repay you with something for your efforts. For such a cautious man as yourself, it must be difficult to put aside your suspicions. Some kind of peace treaty should suffice. Do you have something in mind?” Solomon offers with a polite smile.

“I remember you boasting about your skills in alchemy, specifically in alcohol making. It would be an honor to witness it firsthand.” You remember your previous conversation with him. It will be a perfect excuse to relax and… try to get to know each other better.

“Haha, oh my, I sure like it when you are all polite like that. All right, when will you have time for a demonstration of my skills?” Solomon seems to enjoy your idea.

“How about right after the quiz? I think you will need company to either celebrate your victory or drink your sorrows away after defeat.”

“Wonderful! The event takes place right after lunch, if I’m not mistaken. Let’s meet in the evening hours at the Purgatory Hall. Do you know how to get there?”

“Yeah, all the dorms are mentioned in the map Lucifer gave me. I think I’ll find the way,” you reply. You’ve never really been in that part of the city, but it’s not far away from RAD. So far, all the important places are relatively close to each other.

“Excellent, I’ll prepare all the needed ingredients. And… thank you for your support. I’ll make sure to do whatever it takes to win,” Solomon smiles, this time more genuinely.

You wrap up your conversation once the bell rings. You have to run to class, thinking about your next move.

Solomon seems confident, but Levi won’t go down easily, that’s for sure. You’ll see who wins the competition and act accordingly. The best-case scenario is that Solomon, or somebody else, wins. Then it will be easy to get the copy of a soundtrack after you win the bet. But you’ll have to come up with something else if Levi wins. You can try to ask Leviathan nicely to borrow the recording, he may agree to this, who knows. Or you’ll have to find another way to distract Lucifer. There are many potential ways of doing that, but you decide to stick to Mammon’s plan for now. A distraction with a recording is a much more peaceful solution than everything you came up with as an alternative. However, you kind of want to do something dangerous and unreasonable, to piss Lucifer off and add more silver hair to his head. You hope you’ll get your chance to do this soon.

***

“Mammon, holy shit, you didn’t tell me that TSL is 12 hours total!” You stare at the disc with fear in your eyes. Binge-watching is fun and all, but what if you don’t enjoy it? You doubt that Mammon will let you escape before the whole thing ends.

“Yeah, I don’t think that our snacks will last that long.” Beel seems concerned as well, but for a whole other reason.

“Quit whinin', it wouldn’t be such a popular thing if the story was bad, so ya won’t even notice these 12 hours. And I made several emergency stashes of food, so ya won’t starve to death,” Mammon calms you down while turning on the TV. Beel instantly perks up.

Your group decided to settle in your room since it has a TV (which you didn’t know existed till this day, it was completely covered by climbing plants) and a pleasant atmosphere. Mammon’s bedroom has a gigantic screen, but Beel didn’t want to spend the whole marathon there, since the room was a complete mess. You agreed with Beel on this one, which made Mammon a little bit salty.

All three of you sat on your bed, with you in the middle. The demons were slightly too close, but you didn’t complain. The table was moved closer to the bed and was now filled with all kinds of snacks. You took a bucket of popcorn in your hands and prepared to watch.

…

Okay, you have to admit, it’s a fun show. Mammon’s boisterous commentaries and Beel’s thoughtful munching added to the experience just fine. Halfway through, you realized that it was actually the first time you watched something with somebody. You’ve always preferred to watch movies alone, didn’t even visit movie theaters because of that. You thought that noise from other people would only distract you. But it seems that wasn’t the case with these guys. It was fun and relaxing.

Too relaxing, actually. The warmth from two demons beside you made you sleepy. Being so laid back around the demons… That’s exactly what you tried to avoid all the time, but your body acted independently of your mind. You tried to focus on Mammon’s shouts, but you didn’t make it through the last volume. Your eyelids became too heavy, and Beel’s shoulder looked too comfy to ignore. You fell asleep.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

This world can hurt you
It cuts you deep and leaves a scar
Things fall apart, but nothing breaks like a heart
And nothing breaks like a heart

Mark Ronson – Nothing Breaks Like a Heart

Two days before the quiz passed swiftly. Leviathan locked himself in his room to prepare for his big moment, no surprise there. Asmodeus decided that the best way to deal with you was to ignore your persona completely. But every time you were near him, you still felt his piercing glances. Along with Lucifer’s. The eldest demon was watching you constantly. He might’ve had the same superpower as you: the foretelling of future problems.

Mammon surprised you by taking the whole TSL thing really seriously. He didn’t lock himself in his room as Levi did, but was very close to it. He was constantly making you ask him questions about TSL to prepare for the tournament. Thanks to that, you now know too many nerdy random facts about the series. This unnecessary knowledge has surely replaced something valuable in your brain.

The only demons who behaved normally were Beel, Satan, and Cerberus, so you found yourself hanging out with them more. Satan, after hearing about the quiz, was inspired to take part as well, but he wasn’t half as passionate about it as Levi and Mammon. He decided to enter the competition solely with his knowledge of the book series, completely ignoring a screen version. Beel was happy that he managed to take a day off from his training and was now on the sidelines with you, observing preparations for the event.

Cerberus was just being Cerberus. You made it a habit to visit him every day, but you didn’t run into any of the brothers during your visits. The hellish dog was always fed and clean though, so somebody was taking care of him.

On the day of the event everybody was nervous, even Satan, who was trying his best to keep his cool. It was a day off, but the territory of RAD was full of demons who wanted to witness the event. You may have underestimated the popularity of TSL, the crowd was simply enormous.

Organizers prepared an area in the middle of the Colosseum, surrounded by a waist-high metallic fence. There was a table for judges and wooden lecterns for contestants. The whole space of the Colosseum was decorated with cardboard stands of TSL characters, the music from the DVD series was playing loudly, booths and stalls with merch were standing in every corner. The whole thing felt like a comic-con, but with only one piece of media. Levi was on cloud nine.

“Look! There is a kissing booth dedicated to the Lord of Lechery! And there is a face-in-hole board where you can pretend to be Henry! Oh, look at these figurines of all the Lords! I need to buy them all!”

“You will buy them only if you win your money in a competition, we don’t have spare money for such unnecessary expenses,” Lucifer grumbles, but he doesn't sound as irritated as usual. The atmosphere of the event must’ve got to him, even his nagging ass softened up a little bit.

“Look at these prices,” Mammon sighs, observing the stalls. “I should’ve spent my time obtainin’ low-quality nerdy merch for sale, I would be swimmin’ in money right now.”

“Oh, look at these costumes!” Asmo exclaims, inspecting figurines. “Is that just me, or they are kind of sexy? Maybe I should look into TSL myself.”

“The food here is delicious,” Beel shares his insight. His hands are full of thematic food from the TSL universe.

“We need to find a person with a list of contenders and confirm that we are present. The quiz is about to start,” Satan scans the crowd, responsible as ever.

You also inspect the demons around you, looking for particular exchange students. But you find the prince and his steward instead. Well, more accurately, they find you.

“Good day to you all!” Diavolo greets your bunch with open arms. Barbatos silently bows. “What a wonderful gathering, don’t you think? As one of the organizers, I’m quite proud of our work.”

“Wait, you’re among the organizers?” you ask, surprised. You didn’t expect the future king to personally take part in such an event.

“But of course! After all, the quiz takes place in the building of RAD, it’s my responsibility to make sure that everything goes smoothly. And I am also one of the judges.” Diavolo smiles at you brightly.

“Are you also a fan of TSL?”

“Unfortunately, I’m only at the second book, but I’m getting there!”

“If that’s the case, are you really qualified to be a judge?” you tease with a mocking smile.

“Castiel!” Lucifer barks at you, he is furious at your manner of speaking with the future king.

“Hahaha! Why, Lucifer, Castiel is completely right!” Diavolo laughs heartily. You like his laugh, it makes you feel warm inside. “Since you exposed me like that, how about you take my place? I heard about the marathon you organized the other day, you must have much more knowledge than I do!”

“Unfortunately, it would be even more unfair. I actually made a bet on the results of this quiz, so I can’t be completely objective,” you reply. You don’t want to be a judge, even if it means the possibility of cheating in your favor. Too lazy.

“I like your honesty, Castiel. Very well, I will still be a judge, but I promise to judge only the fairness of the competition. I’ll leave the diagnosis of contenders’ answers to the professionals. Does that sound fair to you?” he asks with a wide smile.

“Yeah, sounds good,” you shrug. Why did he decide to be a judge in the first place? Does he want to be the center of attention at all times? No, something doesn’t add up. It’s more like he wants to be a part of something, not the center of it. He must be excluded from a lot of common activities, since he is the prince. Does he feel lonely when he can’t take part in something with his friends? Does he even have friends? He called Lucifer his friend, but their relationship so far has seemed purely professional, at least on Lucifer’s part.

“Excuse me,” Barbatos politely interrupts your conversation. “The quiz is about to start.” Unlike Lucifer, Barbatos looks at you without a hint of disapproval or irritation. You think that it will take much more than a couple of disrespectful words to piss him off. You kind of want to try, but it surely will end with your immediate death. Your intuition tells you that Barbatos is just as dangerous as Lucifer, if not more so.

You all head to the center of the Colosseum. Since you accompany the Seven Rulers, you get the best place right near the fence, where you can see all the judges and competitors. Levi, Satan, and Mammon all join the group of other contenders on the other side. You notice Solomon among them. He also finds you and sends a pleasant smile your way. Well, good luck, fellow human.

The quiz starts.

Leviathan was wrong about Mammon, the greedy demon doesn’t get eliminated in the first round. Even more so, he manages to get to the top ten. But the questions are getting harder and harder, to the point of insanity.

"What does the Lord of Fools say in the fifth line from the top at page 724 of Volume 3?"

"In Volume 4 of the DVD series, at exactly 159 minutes and 35 seconds in, what is the Lord of Masks holding in his left hand?"

You feel like you are losing brain cells just from hearing these questions. Mammon is out as soon as this kind of task appears. Satan impressively manages to get third place, losing only because he neglected the DVD series.

Of course, Levi gets to the finals. He manages to deal with his stage fright rather well by simply staring at the floor the whole time. He doesn’t raise his eyes even once, but still pushes the button to give an answer in record time.

His rival is, to your surprise, Solomon. You honestly cheered for him, but you didn’t believe that he would get that far. Leviathan was right to fear him; Snow White is a formidable opponent. Solomon doesn’t look tired or stressed out in the slightest, which is threatening by itself.

There is a small pause before the endgame so that each contender can catch a breath. You finally notice Simeon in the crowd. He looks just like Levi when he was among all the merch of his favorite series: absolutely delighted. Does he enjoy quizzes that much? It sounds ridiculous, but it’s the best you can come up with. There’s Luke right next to him. His height is just enough to peek above the metallic fence, but upon further inspection, you spot that he stands on his tiptoes. That’s adorable.

You suddenly notice a cheeky smile on Solomon’s lips. Shit, he has some kind of plan, doesn’t he? Come on, Snow White, unleash your power upon these poor demons.

Solomon takes out of his pocket… A pendant? In the form of a silver wing? Huh? …and casually puts it on. Maybe it’s magical? But any magical items are forbidden, it will be an instant disqualification. Meanwhile, Levi, who is still staring at the floor, notices something shiny on Solomon’s neck with his peripheral vision. He is too curious, so he lifts his eyes just for a second. And freezes.

“H-How did you get that…?!” he whispers so quietly that nobody hears him. But Solomon’s smile gets wider. “How did you get that?!” Levi screams, this time loud and clear.

“Oh, that?” Solomon slightly raises his pendant. “Just a little trinket of mine. Do you like it?”

“D-do I like it?! It’s the Lord of Corruption’s lost wing pendant – the platinum version! That’s incredibly, incredibly rare… It’s legendary!” Levi continues yelling, now the whole crowd is listening to their conversation.

“Yes, indeed. To be honest, it wasn’t easy to get it, but this pendant is worth every coin I’ve spent. I couldn’t consider myself a true fan if I didn’t manage to get my hands on it, you know?” Solomon hammers the final nail in the coffin of Levi’s self-control.

“Why-y y-you…!” Levi loses all his words, his breath becomes heavy and inconsistent. “T-that is… so… not fair…!”

Something is happening with Levi’s body. A long tail keeps appearing and disappearing behind his back, his clothes morph into a wild mix of his demonic and casual versions. Levi closes his eyes, crouches on all fours, and puts his head on a cold floor, trying to regain control over his body. He looks like he is in pain.

“Shit-…” Mammon is ready to jump over a fence and run to Levi, but Lucifer is already there. The eldest sits right on the floor, next to Levi, and puts his hand on his brother's back.

“If you’re not able to control your form, you can be disqualified, you know that. Don’t let him win like that,” he says quietly, but you can hear him from where you stand.

“What does he mean?” You turn to Satan and Mammon, who are standing on your left. “Why would he be disqualified? He doesn’t even attack anybody.”

“High-ranked demons,” Satan replies to you, “mostly take their demon form for formal occasions or during a fight. It wouldn’t be a problem if Levi was in his demon form from the start. But he is transforming in the middle of the competition, presumably to attack another contestant. It doesn’t matter if he attacks or not, if he takes his demon form, it can be considered an aggressive action. Then, it will be up to the judges to decide whether he can still take part in the quiz or not. But there is a high chance that he can be disqualified. Still, Levi didn’t transform fully yet, so he might have a chance.”

“Can we, I don’t know, distract him with something? To make him snap out of it?” you suggest, watching Levi curl on the floor, his clothes almost fully transformed.

“Yes! Great idea! Um…” Mammon enthusiastically supports you but struggles to come up with anything.

“Can we tell him that his favorite show is cancelled?” Beel offers from behind.

“Does somebody know at least one name of any show he likes?” Asmo appears on your right, staring nervously at his envious brother.

“Dammit! He always mumbles about tons of stuff, but I can’t remember any of it!” Mammon lets out a frustrated sigh.

You can’t, either. But you don’t think that it would work either way, Levi is too far gone to believe in something childish like that. No, you need to say something so sudden, maybe even stupid, that his mind instantly flips to your words, stopping the transformation.

But what… Oh, you think you got it. But if you yell something like that, you will be a laughingstock for a very long time. Luckily, you don’t give a shit. The only thought that is stopping you is: should you really do it? If judges disqualify Levi, Solomon automatically wins. That’s exactly what you wanted, right? You throw a quick glance in Solomon’s direction. He looks relaxed, maybe even bored. You expected to see some kind of evil smile, but it isn’t there. He just observes and waits.

You return your gaze to Leviathan, and that’s when all the doubts in your head disappear. You see a small tear on Levi’s cheek. He looks so miserable and sad, lying there in front of the crowd. It should’ve been his triumph, not the worst moment of his life.

You don’t want him to cry. Why? Does it really matter? You don’t want it, and that’s it. 

You put both your feet on the bars of the metallic fence, lifting yourself slightly above the crowd, and yell, “LEVI!” The demon on the ground hears you, he lifts his gaze and stares at you. There is hope in his eyes. Well, you’ll either help him or make things worse. You will make a difference anyway. You inhale as deeply as you can, and shout so loud, that the whole Colosseum must’ve heard you, “DO YOU HAVE TWO DICKS?!”

…

…

…

When a character in books or movies does something astonishing or sudden, the surrounding crowd often falls into silence in shock. You’ve always thought that it’s impossible: somebody would’ve laughed from awkwardness, or coughed, or yelled something. A crowd consists of dozens of people; you can’t silence them all at the same time. And yet, you managed it.

Nobody says a word or makes any noise. The only sound you hear during these impossibly long seconds is a slap from Asmo’s facepalm. Asmo is the only one who moved, really. You assume that the subject of dicks doesn’t shock him as much as other demons. You are rewarded with a rare sight of shock on Lucifer’s face. He still sits on the ground with his hand on Levi’s back and stares at you; he hasn’t blinked once. 

“…What?...” Levi asks so quietly that you almost miss it. He looks just as dazed as the others, but there is no tail in sight. Or demonic clothes. Or his strange but beautiful horns. So… another crisis averted?

Well, aren’t you the hero of the day? But it's time to ruin the immersion by explaining your "joke" in detail and raising the awkwardness level of the whole scene to an unbearable level. 

“Since I first saw your demon form, I’ve been thinking: you definitely have some lizard or snake features in your appearance. So, how deep does your connection with them go? Scaled reptiles usually have two dicks. That's why I’m so curious about your private parts. But don’t worry, you don’t have to reply; it's just a random thought that popped into my head,” you calmly respond to Levi, attentively observing him. It’s really hard to predict what Levi’s reaction will be. He can get frustrated or angry. He can attack you or sit there and cry. Possibilities are immeasurable, so you should be prepared for anything.

“Are you… Are you COMPLETELY INSANE?!” Levi jumps to his feet; his face, ears, and neck are bright red. He looks furious as hell but still doesn’t transform. You're kind of proud of him.

“Yeah, obviously,” you nod. “Are you?”

“Huh?..” Levi stops in his tracks, he doesn’t know how to act or what to say.

“Are you going to throw another tantrum or turn around, get behind that lectern, and win this damn quiz? If you let your victory slip through your fingers like this, you’re completely insane,” you lecture him, feeling like a parent or a teacher. You even cross your arms to look all strict and mighty. Ordering ancient demons around is fun. Extremely dangerous, sure, but fun.

“Cas… I hate you so much… How does your brain even work?..” Levi looks like all the energy was sucked out of his body. He slowly turns around and heads toward the wooden lectern. The demon practically climbs on it, waiting for the quiz to continue.

“Attention please!” Diavolo raises his hands to attract all the gazes to him. Lucifer gets up and disappears into the crowd. “The judges just discussed whether we should allow Leviathan to continue taking part in the event. It was unanimously decided that Leviathan didn’t break any rules since he didn’t fully transform. Both Solomon and Leviathan get to the finals and will compete against each other.” He turns toward the host of the quiz. “Please proceed with the competition as planned.”

And the quiz continues. Solomon doesn’t look disappointed or angry. You can’t tell what he is thinking at all.

Levi manages to regain his senses and answers all the questions just as brilliantly as before. But he still avoids looking at the crowd or the pendant. Solomon’s answers are accurate and detailed. They’re both amazing. It all comes down to one point. To one millisecond. Levi pushes the button just a moment before Solomon, and gives the right answer.

Leviathan wins.

All the brothers jump over the fence to surround Levi and congratulate him. The audience cheers for the demon, chanting his name. Solomon approaches Levi and compliments him. The host gives the winner his prized money. Lucifer watches Mammon closely to stop him if he tries to snatch the prize.

Leviathan is happy. He doesn’t even mind the hugs his brothers give him. He actually initiates one hug himself, with Beel. Levi apologizes to him, but Beel is not sure for what. All he cares about is hugging his big bro as tight as possible. Beel is so proud of him.

Solomon gets sympathetic smiles from angels. They assure him that he was answering brilliantly; Simeon says that he is very touched by Solomon’s knowledge of TSL. You decide to join them. Levi has enough people around him, but Solomon could use one more.

“It was the coolest quiz I’ve ever seen, thanks to you. And you are the most badass fan of TSL, Solomon.” You approach the wizard, patting his shoulder. He looks at you with gratitude.

You thought that he might be angry at you for ruining his plan with a pendant, but it seems that isn’t the case. Solomon looks slightly disappointed that he lost, but he still flashes you a cheeky smile while leaning toward you and whispering in your ear, “Your plans didn’t change? Are you still coming to witness my skills this evening?” His soft breath tickles your ear. You feel his hand on the small of your back. Wow, and here you thought that you had successfully masked your intentions for the evening. Solomon saw right through you.

“Sure, can’t wait to see what you're capable of,” you smirk at him. He smirks in return.

Levi goes on a shopping spree and buys almost all TSL merch. He makes sure to leave some money for that figurine he wanted.

All the inhabitants of the House of Lamentation return home. Asmo and Mammon throw a little family party to celebrate Levi’s victory. You decide to skip it since you need to prepare for your evening with Solomon. You head straight to the shower to make sure that your body looks and smells perfectly. You even jerk off while you’re at it, it will allow you to avoid coming too fast during sex. Of course, there’s always a chance that Solomon was jesting, and you won’t get any action with him tonight. But a man can hope.

You open your closet and choose something casual but fashionable. That way you don’t seem too desperate, but at the same time you show that you’ve put some thought in your look.

You smile to yourself: quite some time has passed since your last proper date. You almost forgot how exciting that is. Lately, you only had hookups in clubs and bars, which can barely be called a date. Especially since no one stayed in your life for too long, mostly by your initiative. You enjoyed being alone.

Your thoughts are interrupted by your phone. You’ve got a message from Levi.

“Where are you? Can you come to the Planetarium?”

Huh? That’s the first time you've heard of such a place.

“We have the Planetarium here?”

“Yes, you can get there through the music room. The entrance is behind the curtains.”

You glance at the clock. Well, you still have some time, better check out what Levi wants. And with that, you head to the Planetarium.

Upon getting there, you immediately regret that you didn’t find this room earlier. It’s a wonderful place, which is basically an extended gazebo attached to the house, full of dim light and fresh air from the garden. There is even a small fountain in the center. You didn’t think that it was possible to fall in love with the House even more, but you just did.

Levi is sitting on one of the armchairs, but he immediately gets up once he sees you. He looks nervous.

“Hi!” he waves at you awkwardly.

“Hi there,” you smile at him. Even though the demon seems a little bit jumpy, Levi still looks happy. Today was one of the best days of his life, despite all the obstacles. You enjoy seeing him like this, who knows why. Maybe it’s just regular human empathy. Maybe something more.

“Thanks for coming. You… your clothes… look good,” Levi is too shy to make compliments, but it’s adorable in its own way.

“Thank you, what a little charmer you are!” You wouldn’t be yourself if you didn’t tease him a little. Levi may be the star of the day, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll go easy on him. Of course, the demon blushes and hides his eyes under his hands. You want to settle on an armchair but remember about your date. The conversation will go faster if you both keep standing, the atmosphere will be too relaxed otherwise. “So, why did you invite me here?”

“My wish… I won, so I want you to make my wish come true,” Levi makes a visible effort and becomes more serious. There it is: a determination in his eyes. It looks good on him.

“Let me hear it, then.”

“I want to make a pact with you!”

…

Huh?

“Huh?” you repeat, aloud this time. All the stress Levi experienced today must’ve gotten to him. Or maybe he is drunk, who knows what Mammon or Asmo could pour into his glass.

“I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not crazy!” Levi gets defensive. Your thoughts might have been clearly visible on your face. You sigh.

“Levi… I won’t give you a lecture on how insane and stupid your offer is. I think you know it even better than me. So what's your reasoning?”

“Are you not happy that a demon wants to willingly make a pact with you? An unconditional pact, that’s like pulling five URs in a row, so rare that it’s almost impossible!” Levi says, looking at you attentively.

“Maybe, but I have no use for it. The way it makes demons lose control over their bodies… It’s disgusting. And if there are other cool features, they are not available to me because I have zero magic power. So yeah, your idea doesn’t make me happy.”

Aside from a one-time extra powerful heal in the moment of creation of the pact mark, pacts also guarantee that the demon bounded by this magical contract can do no harm to the Master. The book you bought hasn't mentioned any other perks that could be of use to you. Complete control over the demon's body is irrelevant in your case, and you're not a sorcerer who can use magic to make more use of the pact.

“Exactly!” Levi seems to hear something important for him in your answer. He is smiling now. “You made a pact with Mammon, but you don’t use it, even when it would make your life much easier. We can all see it. You don’t use him like an instrument and treat him like a living being, even though he’s such a scumbag! That’s exactly how Henry would act!”

“Henry?” You frown. Just fantastic. You already know where it’s going. A boy wants a friend. A good, supportive friend, like in the books. And he thinks that a pact will create some kind of bond between you. You almost want to call Lucifer over: after his several-hours scolding Levi will forget this dumb idea forever. But Lucifer is not here, so it seems that it’s upon you to give a lecture.

“Levi,” you approach the demon closer. “You’re a cool dude. And not because you’ve won the quiz. You don’t need to be beautiful, like Asmo, or buff, like Beel. You are already great, and I actually enjoy spending time with you. I think we have the potential to become good frie... acquaintances eventually; it’s worth a try, for sure. And it can only be achieved through joint experience and time. Pact won’t give you what you are looking for, it’s an illusion of a bond. We can hang out without this magic shit.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so worried about the pact! It doesn’t affect you in any way, it will be just there, you can ignore it and never use!” Levi starts speaking louder, he is irritated. But so are you.

“Because you give your freedom away!” you shout at him. “It doesn’t matter that I don’t use the pact on Mammon! We bonded with him only several days ago! Levi, we’ve met each other a week ago! How can you be so sure that I won’t make you do something you don’t want? Why do you immediately choose the most extreme option to make a friend?!”

“Because a pact is much more than just a contract that makes us lose our free will!” Levi shouts at you in return. “Demons feel a pact much differently from you, humans! If it was made for purely exploitative purposes, like in the case of Asmo and Solomon, sure, the pact is just a collar around our necks that makes us obey. But if the master and the demon reach something more than that… Friendship, partnership… love… The pact is no longer a collar or a contract. It’s a unity. It’s an agreement. It’s an alliance. It’s… a promise. A promise that transcends time…”

Levi suddenly takes your hands in his. He is red as a tomato, but the determination returned to his eyes and voice. “You think that the pact is something horrible and disgusting. But I don’t believe that you didn’t experience anything positive from it!” You remember the feeling of a warm embrace. The soothing sensation from the mark. The pact took your pain away. “And fine, yes, we know each other for only several days, and most of the time we were bickering. But I want you to…” Levi lost his confidence, he is blushing again. His wet hands are now shaking. “I want it to be you. The way you talk about pacts and freedom… That’s exactly why I want a pact with you!”

“Why would you want a pact with anyone? Even if it’s some kind of unity or promise. Being alone is not so bad. You don’t need an alliance with some random human to feel good about yourself.”

“I’ve been alone for much longer than you can imagine, Cas. I know what real loneliness feels like,” Levi squeezes his hands a little bit tighter.

“You have your brothers…” you protest. Levi is so lucky, and he doesn’t even realize it. You'd give a lot to have a family, no matter how insane and insufferable its members would be.

“That’s not the same! Of course, they are my family, and we care about each other no matter what, but…”

“See? You already have an alliance. You already belong. Levi, you are not alone.”

“But… I want to be bonded with you, okay? It’s all about you! Do you really think that I’m so desperate that I would jump at any human, begging for a pact?! Just to not be lonely? No! I…” Levi wants to hide his gaze, but he forces himself to look at you. “I’m so… happy when I’m with you. You make me feel strange, but in a good way. It’s only thanks to you that I got my money back after centuries of hopeless attempts, that I had the best day of my life! I made up with Beel, you saved me from the biggest embarrassment… It may be trivial to you, but it’s a really big deal to me. Nobody has done anything like that for me, besides my brothers and my sis... Khm! But they are family. And you are, like you said, a random human, who knows me for several days. But you did all that!”

Well, there you have it. How was it? "An ancient creature with the brain of a moody teen"? The moody phase is gone, welcome to “everlasting first love, with an obligatory mix of drama, maximalist tendencies, and illogical decisions in the name of feelings”. Even if it’s not "love" per se and it’s purely platonic, the point still stands.

The question is: will you, a mature, responsible (allegedly) man, indulge his fantasies? If you look at the situation objectively, it’s always better to have a pact than not have it. Especially since it’s unconditional and doesn’t impact you in any way. Well, a pact mark is a little bit painful, to be honest, but nothing you can’t endure. If the power of the contract goes against your principles, you can just not use it. And the pact gives you protection against direct attacks from Levi. If he suddenly loses control when you are around, the pact will save you.

You genuinely don’t understand Levi’s fixation on you. You’re pretty sure that Mammon is not the only masochist in the family. But since the demon almost begs you to use him to your advantage…

“Fine, I will ask you one last time: do you really want a pact with me?”

“Yes!” Levi readily replies, eyes shining like he won a quiz for the second time. How can an ancient creature be so naïve? Well, you tried to talk him out of it.

He is still holding you by the hands. The demon expressed his desire to make a pact long ago. The unknown force was waiting for the decision of a human. And finally, the agreement was reached.

You feel a familiar pain in your bones and muscles almost instantly. Levi keeps holding your hands, offering support. It takes some time for you to catch your breath. You feel the second mark right underneath the first one. It seems the line of pact marks goes right along your spine.

You reach for the force that is hidden inside the mark. It’s easier to do it when you’ve done it before. The pact takes your pain away. Your body feels lighter, like it’s surrounded by warm water that supports you and doesn’t let you drown.

“Wow…” Levi sighs, his hands are shaking. “I can feel it…”

“How does it feel?”

“Like I… Won an incredibly difficult boss fight. No, like I got 5 URs in a row. No! Like I got a rare figurine, and I now understand that it’s mine, and I can look at it every day and…”

“So… You feel satisfied?” you casually interrupt his mumbling.

“Yes, but it’s more significant, you know? Argh, it’s really hard to describe.”

“Well, I hope you’ve got what you were looking for. Gotta go!” You take away your hands and turn around to leave the Planetarium.

“Wait! Where are you going?” You hear Levi's surprised voice behind your back.

“To the Purgatory Hall, Solomon is waiting for me. Ah, but don’t tell Lucifer, he will be furious if he finds out that I went outside so late.”

“But there is a party inside… Are you sure you don’t want to celebrate? I thought… that you changed for the party.”

“No, the clothes are for Solomon, not for you,” you reply, slightly turning your head in the direction of the demon. Levi looks like you slapped his face. Maybe it would’ve been better if you slapped him, to be honest. “What’s wrong? The magic of the pact doesn’t work? Or maybe it’s impossible to make a bond out of thin air, what do you think?” Now Leviathan looks like he is about to cry. You overdid it, douchebag.

For fuck’s sake, since when do you care about this nerd so much?! Pep talking when he is depressed, helping him to regain control over his body, and now, instead of running to Solomon, you stand here and feel bad for making him cry?

But you don’t want to see him cry, do you?

…

…Fuck.

You slowly approach the demon. He can’t hurt you now, but you don’t want to make him nervous with sudden movements. Levi doesn’t move a muscle. He is concentrating on not letting tears escape his eyes.

You hug him. His face is hidden against your shoulder, you feel how his tears make your shirt wet. Levi doesn’t hug you back.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. Levi doesn’t reply. “I act like a jerk, I know.” You put a chin on top of Levi’s head. His hair is soft. “Such romantic people like you always piss me off. 'The power of friendship, everlasting bonds, promises that transcend time'. Fairy tales for kids. Beautiful, I agree. But none of that is real. Everybody betrays you, hurts you, leaves you. Even the closest ones. And the sooner you understand this, the better.”

“Then why are you still here?” Levi asks, his voice is muffled, his whole face is pressed against your shirt. “If all relationships are so meaningless and they will always end badly, why are you not on your way to Solomon? Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I’m a fool. I know how it ends, but I’m still starting it. I always managed to stop before things even began, before it was too late. Romance, friendship, doesn’t matter. Never needed it. Always avoided it.”

“More like 'always feared it'...” Levi sniffles quietly.

“…Yeah. You’re right. Don’t want to be hurt again. Don’t want to be thrown away like trash.”

“You won’t be.” Levi hugs you back. “An alliance, remember? I promise to not hurt you. But you… please don’t hurt me either.”

“…Fine. I promise.”

You’ve spent a whole night in the Planetarium. You wrote a short message to Solomon, apologizing for the change of plans. He just sent a sticker with OK on it.

None of the brothers were looking for you or Leviathan. Maybe they went to sleep early. Maybe they decided to party without you. Or maybe they knew exactly where you were and decided not to interrupt.

You were sitting on a couch, holding each other close. You appreciated these moments, because you knew that the next day Levi would be yelling and jumping away from any touch, as always. The demon was hugging you only because the atmosphere allowed it.

“What was the thing you wanted to borrow?” Levi asks, he seems tired but still happy. What a strange guy.

“An exclusive vinyl edition copy of the soundtrack for TSL,” you mumble, already half-asleep.

“Okay, you can take it tomorrow. Just be sure to use is with clean hands, and don’t accidentally sit on it, and…”

“Mhm…” you reply thoughtfully, hugging your nerd tighter. The warmth from the pact mark and Levi’s quiet voice send you off to sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day.  

Chapter Text

Pop that, pop that, make that money
Just keep it going like the Energizer bunny
Shake that, shake that, move it all around
Spank that, yank that dutch back now
Freak him, freak her, whatever your choice
Didn't come to judge, I came to get you moist

Missy Elliott - Pass That Dutch

You don’t want to wake up. You feel so comfortable. A fresh breeze from the garden brings sweet smells of flowers, a soft blanket that someone brought and covered you with, and a warm body in your arms - all that brings you peace. You decide to sleep a little bit longer.

It was your mistake. Should’ve woken up on your own when you had a chance. Because this time, a terrible scream tears you out of a dream world. You can compare it to the sound of nails on a chalkboard, but multiplied by 100 times.

Levi jumps out of the couch and your arms right to the opposite side of the room, screeching and screaming like there is no tomorrow.

“Holy shit, Levi,” you mumble, rubbing your eyes. “Do I look so nasty to you that you feel the need to create these terrifying sounds, hm?”

“N-no, I just…” Leviathan seems to blush with his whole body. “It was unexpected, that’s all. Sorry…”

The demon does his best to not throw a fit in front of you. But you know that as soon as he gets to his room, he will have an outburst of a lifetime. Such close body contact is still too much for this innocent boy.

“Do you mind if we go straight to your room?” you smirk at Levi.

“W-w-w-what for?!” The poor demon blushes even more, now his skin has the same color as the red roses in the garden that peek through the open spaces of the gazebo. 

“I want to borrow that soundtrack we were talking about. And then I’ll leave you alone, so you can process everything that happened. Sounds good?”

“Yeah…” Levi sighs, he is relieved that you didn’t offer him anything he was not ready for. The demon struggles even to look at you. You won’t get any more hugs from him in the near future, that’s for sure.

Levi waddles in the direction of his bedroom, you follow him. It takes some time for him to find the needed copy of the soundtrack. Lucifer is not the only successful collector in the House, Levi’s collections are just as impressive.

Finally, you obtain the quest item, which will help you progress further. Well, you hope so. Lucifer doesn’t look like a demon who can be distracted that easily, but you will trust Mammon on this.

Leviathan pushes you out of his room and immediately closes the door. You hear strange sounds from the other side, that could mean either frustration, severe pain, a mating call of some horrific animal, extreme diarrhea, or all of the above. Levi’s vocal abilities never cease to amaze. You decide to leave him to his own devices, the demon definitely needs some time alone.

You head to your room and start your usual morning routine. But you barely finish brushing your teeth when the door to your bathroom flies open. Mammon storms inside, only to get a spray of deodorant right in his face.

“AAAHHH!” he covers his face with hands and tries to escape to your bedroom. But he chooses the wrong direction, so instead of a door he meets your toilet, crushes right into it and falls on the floor. A complete defeat. “CAS! WHAT A HELL?!” he screams at you, his eyes are painfully red and full of tears.

“Next time you’ll think twice before intruding into my personal space. How many times have I asked you to knock? And you didn’t just ignore my words, you doubled down! What sane person just runs into someone’s bathroom, tell me, you fucker?!” you shout at the demon. His disregard for doors starts to seriously piss you off.

“Okay, okay, sorry! Shit, it hurts…” Mammon rubs his eyes, trying to stop the burning sensation.

You sigh. “Stop rubbing, come here. We need to wash it out.”

With joint efforts, you wash Mammon’s eyes well enough. You mentally make notes on how fast his eyes return to normal: seems like demons are rather vulnerable to eye damage. You should add some kind of spray to your arsenal.

You both settle in your room: you sit on a bed and Mammon straddles a chair backwards, making the backrest face you.

“So? What’s so urgent that you decided to risk your eyesight?” you ask the demon, still salty that he interrupted your me-time.

“We’re goin’ to the club, human!” Mammon announces, excitedly swinging on the chair.

“Isn’t it like… morning hours?” You check the clock on the wall: you’re correct, it’s technically morning. Thank God today is another day off.

“Well, there are clubs that work all the time, but that’s not the point! They made me dirty with this stupid quiz. The Great Mammon is a natural-born winner! So, I’m takin’ part in another competition, more suitable for such a cool person like me!”

“And you need me for…?” You actually thought about going to the Purgatory Hall and fixing the situation with Solomon. You really let him down yesterday.

“Every winner needs a crowd of fans to cheer for them! But since it’s so urgent, I’ll settle on just you,” Mammon explains enthusiastically.

“Ugh… What kind of competition is that?”

“Dance battle!”

Your demeanor changes instantly. Dance battle? Finally! That’s exactly what you need to shake off all the stress. Cerberus is your personal hero and savior in this regard, but a good dance-off will lift your spirits just enough to give you enough energy to deal with all the demonic shenanigans for another month or so.

“You should’ve said it sooner!” You jump out of bed and head to your closet. You don’t care that Mammon is in the room, you start changing into something more suitable for dancing immediately.

“W-what the hell are you doing?!” Mammon yells somewhere behind your back, but you ignore him. Thanks to Goldie, you have perfect clothes for the competition. Sneakers, sweatpants, tank top; simple but effective. The final touch is a hair tie and a beanie, to prevent your hair from getting in the way and protect your head if you decide to go for moves like headspin or head step.

“I’m ready, let’s go!” You push blushing Mammon out of the room and are ready to push him like that all the way to the club if it makes him move faster. You didn’t have a chance to dance for a whole week, you are desperate. But the demon stops you.

“Hold on a second! Are you tellin’ me that you wanna take part too?”

“Fuck yes! Now shut up and show me the way.”

“Damn, never saw you so worked up over anythin’… Aight, I’m goin’,” Mammon gives up after a particularly strong push and starts walking on his own. “Are ya into dancin’ or somethin’?”

“Yes, it’s my passion, hobby, therapy, and job,” you nod, settling in Mammon’s car. She is as beautiful as ever.

“Huh? Job?” The demon sounds surprised.

“Yeah, I’m a dance teacher.”

“Really? Cause ya don’t look like one,” Mammon squints his eyes at you.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You arch your eyebrow.

“Ya look like some kind of bandit or gangster, not like… a teacher.”

“Nah, I quitted that shit years ago,” you smirk, getting ready for another wild ride.

“What?! I was jokin’ ya know! You really were a gangster or you're just messin’ with me?”

“Who knows,” you shrug teasingly. “Come on, Mon, start driving, or we’ll miss all the good stuff!”

“Fine,” Mammon seems to be annoyed that you avoided his question, but starts the car anyway.

You get to the club in several minutes. Despite the early hours, there are a lot of demons around. Some came for the show, some came to compete.

There is a large round scene in the center of the club. You inspect the floor: the surface seems good enough for some risky moves, so you can go all in.

Luckily, there was no need to apply for the competition in advance; you just walk in, say your name and the song you’re going to use, and you’re on the list right away. It’s a freestyle competition, so you technically can choose whatever you please. While you are pretty good in a couple of different slyles, your core specialty is hip-hop and breakdancing. You decide to mix common hip-hop moves with more acrobatic ones.

Your new phone already has a list of songs that would be perfect for your performance, but what should you pick? In the end, you choose a song you never used before and don’t have a choreography for. You're in the mood for improvisation. While "Monster Winer" by Kerwin Du Bois and Lil Rick is technically not a hip-hop song, reggae and hip-hop always go hand-in-hand.

But when it’s Mammon’s turn, things get complicated.

“You are banned,” a huge crocodile-like demon, who is in charge of the list, growls at Mammon.

“Wha-?! Why? How dare ya ban the Great Mammon!” The greedy demon is one step away from throwing a fit.

“After you stole all the prize money, you should be grateful that we allow you to stay among the audience. Now scram!” The crocodile growls at Mammon, baring his impressive teeth. Demons who stand behind you and want to apply start complaining that you’re holding the line. Mammon has to back off.

“Shit!” he lets out a frustrated shout.

“What was that about you stealing money?” You start your warm-up session while talking to Mammon.

“Pff, I didn’t steal anythin’. I just took what’s mine a little bit early, that’s all.” The demon leans on a wall, watching you exercise. “I performed, got the highest score out of all, so the victory was already mine. I went for the money while the last two or three contestants were performin’. And let me tell ya, their moves sucked, so they had no chances at beatin’ me. But for some reason, the hosts of the dance-off decided that I stole the money. Even called Lucifer who caught me and forced return everythin’. How’s it fair?! And now they ban me?! Fuckin’ shitheads.”

“I agree, banning you is going too far,” you support Mammon while doing a split. “And I assume they didn’t let you claim your victory and take your money back.”

“Yeah, they gave the first place to the guy who was originally the second,” the demon scowls.

“That sucks, man.” You look at Mammon sympathetically. “Want to do a little heist?”

“Huh?”

“I’m not here for the money, I just want to dance. And I don’t care if I get banned along with you: I’m here for one year anyway. So you can go ahead and rob these fuckers,” you grin, admiring Mammon’s shocked face.

“Ya sure?” he asks, still not certain if you are joking or not.

“Yeah, just do a better job at covering your tracks.” You don’t want to meet this crocodile in a fight. At least not today, the only weapon you have on you is a little jackknife in your pocket.

“Okay, if ya say so…”

A loud song starts playing, indicating the start of the dance-off. You and Mammon approach the scene to watch other contestants. Monster features of some of them allow performing tricks and moves you’ve never seen before. You wish you had a tail to spin on it like that.

“Haha, c’mon Cas, relax, it’s not your turn yet.” Mammon puts his hand on your shoulder. You look at him with confusion, but then realize that you’ve been slightly dancing on the spot while watching other competitors. “Are ya nervous?”

“Not at all. I just can’t wait to start dancing for real,” you smile at him.

“We should organize our own dance-off, just you and me,” Mammon grins at you.

“Oh, I’m in!” You grin back.

You hear the loud voice of a host. “And now give a warm welcome to Castiel!...”

“Okay, wish me luck,” you smile and climb on the stage.

“Break a leg!” Mammon pats your shoulder.  

The music starts. You don’t care who is watching, who will win, or who will lose. You can finally become one with the music.

First, something simple. You make several variations of front and side steps, dynamically moving your legs and arms, mixing it with hip twists and kicks. The beat of the music takes over your body, and you stop thinking about your moves at all. Your body will do everything on its own.

Time for some footwork. You lower your body and, using your arms for support, start moving your legs in a circle. 2-step motion: half-turn sweep, then a return sweep to a squatting position. Right after that, a 6-step series: you make several small sweeps around one supporting arm, changing the arm every half-circle. Now, Knee Rock: you start spinning your upper body with one of your knees touching the ground. You alternate the supporting arm during spinning.

You rise from the ground to give yourself a couple of seconds to rest. The song is about a hot girl on a dance floor, so you should put an emphasis on your hips. You arch your back and do a body roll, followed by a side-to-side booty pop, putting your weight on each of your legs. You squat and start rhythmically opening and closing knees, then do several twerking motions and rise up again.

Now it’s time for some power moves. These will be more difficult, but more exciting. You start with a shoulder spin by erecting yourself upside down, with a weight fully supported by one shoulder, and spinning. After that, a shift to a headspin, then you drop on your upper back, shoulders, and arms, and continue spinning with their support; the legs are extended upward and swing around in a circle.

You stop the motion and rise on your legs once again. More hip and leg motions to the beat of the music. Not seductive enough to be something too inappropriate, but very pleasant to look at.

You stand upwards by raising your body with just one arm, then start spinning again. Both the support for the body and the rotating motion are done by one hand.

You change your hand and move your body closer to the ground. Time for one of the most difficult moves – Jackhammers. You start fast-pace hopping on one arm, continuing spinning, your body is in parallel with the floor.

The finishing move is Air Flare. You keep your body entirely inverted and vertical, with your hips high off the ground. Then spin in a circle while hopping with your hand. Every time you transition your hand, your entire body is completely off the ground, high in the air.

Spin, spin, spin, and drop on the ground. You freeze making a pose, your dance is finished. 

The audience starts applauding. You quickly leave the stage, letting the next contestant proceed with their performance. Mammon catches you the second you go down the stairs. It’s dark in here, but you still notice a blush on his cheeks. He gives you a bottle of water and a towel, who knows where he got these.

“How did you enjoy my dance?” you ask with a cheeky smile.

“I-I… It was… cool!” Mammon surely has a way with words, but you don’t really need them. Everything is written on his face.

“I hope I get to see you dance one day,” you say, opening a bottle and drinking almost half of it in one go: all the acrobatic moves exhausted you and made thirsty. “Are you going to do the thing we discussed earlier?”

“What thing?...” Mammon is too focused on a drop of water sliding down your throat to pay attention to your conversation.

“You can lick it if you want,” you say casually, calmly closing the bottle.

“Thanks… wait, WHAT?!” Finally, Mammon starts paying attention to your words.

“Will you do the thing we were talking about or not?” You hide your smirk with a towel, rubbing it against your face to remove all the sweat.

“No-no-no, what was the other thing ya said?!” Mammon insists with a panicked voice.

“I forgot already,” you give him an innocent smile.

“Okay… Yeah, fine, the thing… Oh! Right! I wanted to offer ya to join!” the demon finally manages to return back on track.

“Hm, want me to be your partner in crime? I take 50%, just so you know.”

“Uhh, how about 30%?” Mammon tries to bargain. Seriously?

“60% or no deal,” you smirk at him.

“Wait! But it was 50%! Ya can’t just…”

“65%, Mon, my last offer.”

“You’re just impossible! Fine, deal!” Mammon angrily agrees. You offer him a handshake to seal the deal. He snatches your hand in a rather rough manner, but once he feels the touch of your skin, the demon instantly calms down. Mammon now holds your hand much more gently.

You don’t let go of his hand and lead him to a more secluded place where you can discuss your next move. You find a perfect space near a storage room (you check inside it to make sure that it’s empty), turn to the demon and say, “So, you’ve dealt with these people before. Where did they stash their money last time?” You relax your hand so that if Mammon weakens his grip, your hand would be released instantly. But he keeps holding it tightly. You don’t mind.

“On the second floor, in the office of the owner of this club. I don’t think that they changed the place. There’s a big safe in there, perfect for keepin’ money,” Mammon, like the good boy he is, tells you everything in detail.

“How did you deal with safe last time?”

“It was open,” the demon shrugs.

“What?!”

“The owner is an old man who refuses to go to the Academy and fix his brains. He always forgets stuff. One time he forgot about my gigantic debt to him, and he allowed me to borrow even more money! So he must’ve forgotten to close the safe.”

“But I doubt that we will be that lucky this time…” you say, thinking about the safe. Hm, wait a minute… “Mon, do you see the owner among the crowd?”

Mammon turns around and scans the audience.

“Yeah, you see that fat guy with silver hair? That’s him.”

The man he is talking about stands right near the stage, he is fully immersed in the performance. Perfect.

“Okay, give me a second, I want to check something.” You let go of Mammon’s hand and dive into the crowd.

You approach the owner from behind. You expected him to be surrounded by bodyguards or hang out in the VIP zone. But he is here, among the common folk. Props to him. But your fondness toward the guy doesn’t stop you from putting your hands in his pockets.

Empty. Also empty. Maybe here? Oh, you got something.

You take a piece of paper and disappear in the crowd as fast as you can. You go straight to Mammon.

“Where did ya go?!” The demon is not happy that you left him alone so suddenly. But you don’t pay attention to him, checking the piece of paper in your hands.

“Jackpot!” You grin widely.

“What is that? Some kind of numbers?”

“That’s the safe code.”

“No shit! How did you get it?!” Mammon opens his mouth in surprise. You slightly tap his chin to make it close.

“All the old folks I knew tended to write down all the important information, including passwords, in their notebooks, on random pieces of paper, and so on. I assumed that the owner might’ve done the same thing since he has a bad memory. But with a local thief on the loose,” you stare at Mammon, “he couldn’t just leave this info in his office, he had to carry it around with him. I checked my theory, and I was correct.”

“Wow…” Mammon looks genuinely impressed by such simple brain work.

“Now we need to figure out how to get to his office. The stairs to the second floor are guarded, we can’t go through there.”

“I know how we’ll get there. Follow me!” he exclaims, and snatches your hand once again. You think that Mammon just likes to hold you by the hand.

He leads you to the exit and then outside, to the nearby alley. From here you get access to the other side of the club.

“If I remember correctly, that window up there leads to his office,” Mammon points at the window on the second floor.

“Do you suggest we climb the walls?” You look around, hoping to find something that will help you get that high.

“Cas, I’m a demon, remember? A demon with badass wings!” You turn back to Mammon. Oh. Ooooh, his demon form looks even better in real life. He looks like he is in some BDSM club. Seriously, why are his demonic clothes so slutty? In comparison to him, Asmo looks like a humble priestess. “Ready to fly?” Mammon grins at you.

“Wait, what?” You are too invested in gawking at Mammon’s body to react in time. The demon picks you up, carrying you like a princess, and takes off. “YOU…” you start yelling, but remember in time that you are actually on a heist. So you have to shut your mouth not to alert all the people in the club.

Luckily (or unfortunately), it was a very short flight. One second and you are standing in the owner’s office. You promise yourself to take revenge on Mammon later.

You look around, searching for some kinds of security cameras or alarm systems. Of course, there can always be something magical, but you can’t detect it, so why bother? But you will make Mammon open the safe, just in case there is some kind of curse.

The greedy demon is already approaching the goal of the whole operation.

“Mon, wait!” You quietly shout to stop the demon before he touches the safe.

“What?” he whispers, itching to get his hands on money.

“I don’t know how it works in the Devildom, but in the Human world we prefer to avoid leaving fingerprints during heists. Cover your hands with something, then touch the safe.”

“Fine.” He looks around and finds some kind of handkerchief on the table. You give him a piece of paper with the code, and Mammon starts opening the safe. You lean on the wall right next to the door, waiting for the demon to finish.

But, of course, the door suddenly opens. The opened door blocks your view, so you can’t see who entered the room. But they can’t see you either. Mammon notices that there is someone else in the room, so he quickly turns around. Luckily, the safe and the greedy demon are rather far from the door. So whoever this is, they won’t see him right away. You have only several seconds. You take off your beanie and wait for the stranger to go further into the room. Once you see a part of their arm, you jump out of your cover right on their back and put your beanie on their head to block the view.

Unfortunately, it was the crocodile-guy. You managed to put your beanie on his little eyes, but you can’t cover his whole head because it’s simply too long. He tries to shake you off, but you can’t let go, because as soon as you do, the beanie will fall off, and he will see your and Mammon’s faces.

But Mammon is already here. He punches this guy’s neck, making him lose all the air and knocking him unconscious. You take your beanie back. Mammon shows you the money in his hands, shoves it all into your hands, picks you up again and flies into the window. It all takes mere seconds and now you are safe.

Well, if you ignore the fact that you’re high in the air and your only support is Mammon’s hands. You have to hold all the money, so you can’t even grab his neck for better support.

“You’re not gonna drop me, right? I still have the money, so you better hold me tight if you don’t want to lose it.”

“Pff, I wouldn’t drop ya even if ya didn’t have any money on you,” Mammon smiles, he seems content with the successful ending of the heist. And maybe with something else.

“Oh? Did I grow on you that much?”

“S-shut up!” The demon blushes profusely. “It’s just… Yeah, the pact! The pact forces me to save ya, that’s all!”

“Whatever you say. You can land now, no need to fly away too far.”

“Relax, I can fly us all the way home!” he claims and starts flopping his wings even harder.

“I have no doubts about your capabilities, but we left your car near the club.”

“Shit!”

And with that, you turn around and fly back. It seems that the crocodile is still unconscious, since nobody looks alert yet. So you quickly hop in the car and drive away as fast as possible. It’s great that the garage door leads straight to Mammon’s room. You avoided meeting Lucifer thanks to this feature and got right into the safe spot. You both drop on the couch, finally managing to relax.

“Wow, that was like… One of the smoothest heists I’ve ever done,” Mammon grins, staring at you.

“Let’s hope they won’t figure out who it was, then we can really celebrate,” you say, stretching on the couch. You tossed money on a coffee table nearby, so now you can admire a pleasant pile of banknotes.

“Even if they will, they can’t prove anythin’, so fuck ‘em,” Mammon leans closer to the money and starts counting.

“I hope you remember about my cut?” you decide to remind about your 65% to the Avatar of Greed.

“Don’t worry, gonna split everythin’ fair and square. Ya can check after I finish,” Mammon replies, focused on his accounting duties.

“I’ll check for sure.” You get up and head to the pool table. You notice some kind of alcohol on it. Hm, Demonus. Solomon said it doesn’t affect humans, but you take a sip anyway. It’s bitter, but in a good way. You like both the smell and taste. With a bottle in your hand, you return to the couch and offer Mammon a drink. He doesn’t tear his sight from the pile of money, continuing counting. But he slightly turns his face to you, so you just attach a bottleneck to his lips. Mammon makes a couple of sips.

“You know, that was our first kiss, indirect though,” you jest, taking away the bottle and drinking more.

Mammon instantly chokes on Demonus, trying to cough it out. You just smirk, watching him. Your petty revenge feels good.

“C-khg-Cas… I hate ya so much… Khg!” The demon finally manages to catch a breath. “Here’s your cut.”

He pushes the bigger part of the pile toward you. After a quick check you confirm that he indeed counted correctly. That’s a rather pleasant sum that can keep you afloat for a couple of months. If you spend it wisely, of course.

“Pleasure to have business with you, partner.” You ruffle Mammon’s hair, enjoying its softness.

“Hey, um… Do ya want to celebrate? I have more Demonus,” Mammon mumbles, hiding his gaze.

Maybe it doesn’t seem like it, but you have a very important decision to make. You know what will happen if you stay. All those touches throughout the day, glances, blushes. And, to be fair, you indulged Mammon a lot. You like this goofy guy. He’s good-looking, cute, sexy, and funny. You would absolutely love to get him in your bed.

But you know for a fact how many problems he will bring if you start sort of dating. You feel a slight headache just from thinking about it. There is no way that you’ll be able to pull off sex without commitment either. You could do it with Asmo or Solomon, but not with him. So, as much as you want to fuck Mammon’s brains out, you need to think with your head, not with your cock. You have enough problems already, no need to add new ones.

“Sorry, Mon, gotta go. Have fun with your cut!” You rise, squeezing money in your hands, and almost run to the door. You don’t turn around because you know that as soon as you see Mammon’s sad face, you’ll stay.

You sprint to your bedroom and start undressing. You need a cold shower, now. But the chilly water doesn’t seem to help, your brain is still in shambles. So you turn on the hot water.

Your hand slides downwards, to your dick. A few gentle strokes, and your blood runs all the way down, making you hard and not capable of thinking about anything besides Mammon. You choose a perfect memory: the moment you made a pact with him. An all-mighty demon on his knees, with tears in his blue eyes. But in your imagination, those tears were not caused by anger, pain or sadness. Such things don’t turn you on.

Instead, you imagine his tongue and lips on you, teasing and promising. Your hand in his soft hair, pulling him closer, making him take you deeper. So deep that it makes him tear up. But the demon enjoys it as much as you do. He starts moving his head along your whole length, you feel his hands on your hips, clinging for support.

But it’s still not enough. You start pushing even more, faster, deeper. Mammon stops moving and lets you just fuck his face, like the good boy he is. He touches himself, stroking his own dick at the same pace you thrust inside his mouth. You hear a satisfied moan, just like the one you heard in his bed earlier. It’s muffled but so sweet and desirable, that it drives you over the edge.

You come, biting your lip to block a loud moan. Fuck, you wish you could do all those things to Mammon for real. Just a mere thought lights up a lustful fire inside you once again.

Shit, what was inside that bottle? You’re even more horny than usual, and that’s saying a lot. Though you understand that Demonus has nothing to do with your state. And you can't blame it on the adrenaline after the heist either.

There’s only one way to deal with it for real.

***

“Did you decide what you like, sir?” A lovely shop assistant with wide eyes and a wide smile circles around you for the last ten minutes. You can only sigh and shake your head.

You decided that if you want to properly apologize (and finally get laid), you need some kind of present. The most cliché one is certainly flowers. It doesn’t matter that Solomon is a dude. From your experience, most people like flowers, no matter their gender. Unless they have allergies, of course, but you hope that a powerful alchemist and sorcerer already dealt with such problems long ago, if they ever existed.

But you’re stuck on a choice of the right bouquet. You have no idea what such a person as Solomon would like, but it’s critically important to get on his good side right away. Those sexy demons will put you in an early grave unless you blow off some steam as soon as possible.  

“For what occasion do you need a bouquet? Anniversary? Birthday? Wedding?” After getting formal permission to assist you, the assistant starts chirping more actively than before.

“I need to fuck someone. A man. What would you recommend?” you simply ask, staring at red roses. No, too trivial.

“Okay…” Your answer made the assistant thoughtfully look around, inspecting the flowers. “I assume that you don’t know his tastes that well?”

“Correct.”

“Can you describe him? Often the character of a person gives a good hint about what they might like.”

“He is… Mysterious, experienced, probably a scholar…” You struggle to come up with the right words to describe Solomon, but these ones sound about right.

“Hmmm… How about these misty irises? Iris symbolizes wisdom, which would be perfect for an experienced scholar. But the color is also important. For your cause, I would recommend yellow irises, they have a meaning of passion.”

“Perfect, please give me a lovely bouquet of yellow irises,” you nod. The assistant energetically bounces around, creating an ideal bouquet for Solomon. Well, you hope that it’s ideal.

You determinedly march toward the Purgatory Hall, hoping that Solomon is at home and not busy. After the shower you ran to the flower shop so quickly that you forgot your phone and a map of the dormitories of RAD. So now you just wander around the area where you think the Purgatory Hall may be. But luck is still on your side.

“Castiel?” Luke stares at you, he definitely didn’t expect to find you here. The tiny angel holds several packages of something that smells like cakes. Luke has quite a sweet tooth.

“Luke! Hey, buddy, need any help with these?” You point at the packages in his hands. That’s clearly too much for a little kid, they must be heavy.

“No! I’m fully capable of… Oh!” Luke tries to argue, but one of the packages almost falls in the process. You manage to catch it last second. “Thank you… Fine, maybe I need a little bit of help. But only a little bit!”

You take some of Luke’s load, as much as you can hold with one hand. Your other hand is preoccupied with the bouquet.

“What are the flowers for?” Luke asks curiously, peeking at irises from time to time.

“Oh, I just want to properly apologize to Solomon. I mistreated him and now I feel very guilty. Do you think he’ll like the flowers?”

“So that’s what it’s about! You know, I noticed that Solomon was rather gloomy recently, but I thought that he was still worried about the quiz. But don’t worry, I think he’ll love the bouquet. Everybody likes flowers!” Luke offers you his moral support.

“Not everybody, buddy, but I hope that Solomon likes them as much as you do.”

The Purgatory Hall looked not as grim as the House of Lamentation. It's brighter and lighter on the outside and on the inside. A very suitable environment for angels; you couldn’t imagine Simeon or Luke living in the House, that’s not the right place for them. Solomon, on the other hand… He would’ve felt right at home there.

You helped Luke put all the cakes in the fridge. He offered you a piece, but you had to deny his offer. Luke showed you the way to Solomon’s bedroom and left you alone.

Okay, here we go. You check the bouquet, making sure that all the flowers look impeccable. Maybe it would be best if you hid it behind your back for now. Yeah, that’s better. Finally, you knock on the door. You hear footsteps on the other side. For some reason, you’re nervous.

“Simeon, I still didn’t find… Oh.” Solomon stops talking as soon as he realizes that it’s you, not Simeon. It takes him half a second to hide his astonishment. Now Solomon stands with a completely neutral face, politely smiling. “Castiel, what a surprise. To what do I owe the honor?”

“Hi, Solomon,” you smile awkwardly. “I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday. I’m sorry that I cancelled our plans so suddenly. I came with a peace treaty.” You move the bouquet from behind your back, offering it to Solomon.

“You shouldn’t have… Oh.” You manage to surprise the sorcerer for the second time. You mentally thank the assistant in the flower shop: Solomon definitely likes your gift, his face instantly softens, and he carefully takes the flowers. “Thank you… I definitely didn’t expect such a… romantic gesture.” Solomon lifts his eyes to you; there is a gentle smile on his lips.

Wow, that was… Super easy, actually. You didn’t expect your random choice of a present to be so effective. Who knew that the heart of a wise sorcerer could melt from a simple bouquet?

“I’m glad that you like it,” you smile genuinely. Solomon without his neutrally-polite mask is an incredibly pleasant sight.

“Come in,” the man says, taking a few steps backwards, allowing you to enter his room.

The first thought you have as soon as you enter the room is, "Wow, that’s a lot". It's extremely bright inhere, the amount of lamps and chandeliers is almost uncomfortable. Flying clocks everywhere, each show different time. And books. Tons and tons of books are hidden inside incredibly high bookcases that are triple your size. It seems more like an office than a bedroom. A large bed looks almost out of place. All the furniture is either dark red, brown or golden, so your yellow irises are quite fitting. Solomon conjures an elegant vase and puts the bouquet on the coffee table in the center of the room.

“How do you like my bedroom?” Solomon asks, observing your reaction.

“Honestly? Looks like the room of a person who doesn’t know how to relax. If I assume that you’re a workaholic, will I be correct?” you reply, examining his worktable. There are a lot of intriguing ingredients and potions, but you don’t dare to touch anything.

“Haha, maybe you are right. Never thought about it.” Solomon opens one of the cupboards, takes out several bottles with unknown liquids inside and puts them on a coffee table. He settles on a red couch and pats invitingly the spot beside him. “Come on, let’s test these beverages. I’ve put a lot of effort into them, and I think you’ll enjoy my creations.”

He doesn’t have to ask twice. You rapidly take your seat right next to Solomon and taste the first bottle he offers you. It’s very similar to an ale or beer, but with soft herbal notes. It’s refreshing and delicious but also rather strong. You need to be careful with this thing. Solomon sips it as well, enjoying the taste. His pale skin starts getting more pink with each sip.

“Careful now,” you stop Solomon before he finishes the whole bottle. “How susceptible are you to alcohol?”

“It fully depends on a drink,” the mage shrugs. His pronunciation is not as clear as before but he is not entirely wasted yet. It’s better not to hurry with opening other bottles, Solomon needs a breather.

“This one is good, yeah? You must be really talented to create something like that so quickly.” You decide to distract the mage with a small talk.

“It wasn’t that hard. The potion of eternal youth – now that’s hard. But this little drink? A child’s play!” Solomon assures you, he starts "talking" with his hands more. Yep, he is drunk. But are you? You listen to your senses: there is a muffled noise in your head that prevents you from thinking clearly. Solomon in front of you, with his pink skin and shining eyes, looks like the most beautiful creature in all three worlds; Simeon doesn’t stand a chance. Yea, you’re drunk. Shit, what kind of beverage is that? You barely touched the thing. As tasty as it is, Solomon made it way too strong.

You put your head on the back of the couch, continuing to face Solomon. You stare at him, admiring how casually he looks. The sorcerer wears only a white shirt and black, classy pants. It’s so simple, but it looks so good on him. Solomon notices your interest and copies your pose. Now you both basically lie on the couch, staring at each other, examining appearances. It would be uncomfortable if you were both sober, but you are drunk so nobody cares.

You notice a lock of hair that blocks one of Solomon’s eyes. That won’t do. You lean closer to him and gently brush it away. Your hand stays there, tenderly caressing his cheek. He glances at you, eyes shining from alcohol and something else. Something new and vulnerable.

You feel Solomon’s hand on your knee. He touches you carefully, a little bit uncertainly. You expected more confidence from a man who was bragging about his skills earlier. Maybe alcohol made him like that. You wonder how he would’ve acted if he was sober. But he is not sober. He’s sitting in front of you, deceptively innocent and open. That makes your head spin. You lean even closer, slowly, not to scare him away. His lips are slightly open. Solomon watches your every move with his silver eyes. Even in such a state he stays observant.

You keep caressing his cheek, moving the hand slightly further and accidentally touching his earlobe. Solomon lets out a shaky breath, closing his eyes for a second. His ears are sensitive. This quiet, shaky breath breaks some kind of wall inside you. All your self-control was represented in this wall. But now it’s gone.

You don’t wait any longer and kiss his lips. A little bit dry and chapped, but perfect nonetheless. Solomon responds readily, putting his second hand on your shoulder. You also want to use your second hand for something nice. You decide that the best place for it is Solomon’s waist.

The magician makes your kiss deeper, you feel his tongue in your mouth. At the same time, his hand on your knee starts to slowly move upward, along your thigh. You want to take this hand and put it right where it belongs: between your legs. But you patiently wait and allow Solomon to tease you. You pull him even closer by applying some strength to the small of his back with your hand. Not close enough, you need him much closer than that. You remove your other hand from his cheek and put it right on Solomon’s thigh. You lift his leg and gently toss it over your lap. The sorcerer understands what you’re going for and shifts his weight without stopping kissing you. He straddles your lap now.

You don’t waste any time and grab his butt with two hands, moving him closer to you. Solomon lets out a quiet moan when your cocks touch through fabric. He starts moving his hips, rubbing against you. This motion feels so good that you moan right into a kiss, making the sorcerer smile cheekily.

With great regret, you remove your hands from a magical ass and start to unbutton Solomon’s shirt instead. He helps you as much as he can, not stopping grinding on your hips. As soon as more pale skin shows from under the shirt, you stop the kiss and move your lips to new areas. Long neck, strong shoulders, sexy collarbone… All needs to be kissed, licked, and maybe even bitten.

Meanwhile, Solomon tries to remove your clothes, but it’s rather hard to do when you’re attacking his whole torso with tender kisses. He has to concentrate and use some magic to make it easier for him. Unfortunately, he can’t concentrate well enough, so the spell does not work as intended. He teleports all your clothes, including shoes and underwear, somewhere.

But you pay it no mind. Fewer clothes? Perfect, just what you need right now, you can worry about the details later. You persistently try to pull off Solomon’s pants, but it’s hard to do when he sits on you like that. The sorcerer doesn’t feel like leaving your lap for even a second, so he tries his spell one more time. This time it works, his pants and underwear fly somewhere onto the table, leaving Solomon completely naked.

Felling his whole body with your skin is much better than dry-humping each other through clothes. Without stopping kissing his upper body, you move your hand down and gently squeeze both of your dicks together. You want to start rubbing them against each other, but Solomon stops you.

“I can’t let you do all the work. Let me do this…” he insists quietly. You have no reason to refuse, so his elegant hand wraps around the dicks and starts stroking them together. He definitely used some kind of spell because his palm is covered in a sticky liquid that makes your dicks slide easily. Wet sounds and quiet moans fill the room, turning you on even more.

Since Solomon took over your task, you find yourself a new objective. You move your hands back to his butt, massaging it. Your fingers slowly get closer and closer to their goal, until you slide right to the hole, starting to teasingly touch his entrance.

Solomon stops all the movements altogether. You also stop, lifting your head from the shoulder you were kissing, and looking at the sorcerer’s face. He doesn’t look angry, if anything, there is still a cheeky smile on his lips.

“So that’s how you want to do it?” Solomon asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Yeah. If that’s all right with you. I’ll stop if you’re not into this, obviously, and we can figure out something else.”

“And the other way around?..”

“No, sorry. I can only be a top,” you simply reply.

“Hm, very well. It’s just that… I didn’t do something like that in a very long time. Very long time,” he says slightly nervously. 

“I’m open to pretty much everything other than bottoming. If you’re not ready, no need to go that far tonight. Or ever. Tell me what you want instead, and I’ll gladly do it,” you assure Solomon, moving your hands away from his butt and putting them on his waist to avoid making the sorcerer nervous.

Solomon looks at you attentively, determining something in his head. He slowly gets up from your lap, takes you by the hand and leads toward the bed.

“If we’re going to do something like that, we should use a more suitable place for it,” he says, smiling at you.

Solomon lays down on the bed and pulls you to himself, making you hover above him. You put your hands on both sides of his head for support, looking at a man under you. The magician conjures some kind of bottle and gives it to you.

“Use this as a lubricant. It should be good enough for our purposes,” he smirks. You can see that he is nervous but tries to hide it. You take the bottle, but put it away for now. It’s necessary to relax Solomon first.

You start with a kiss. Soft but passionate, the man responds to you immediately. You caress his whole body with your hands, gently and calmingly. Solomon is not vocal in bed. His moans are almost nonexistent, but if you pay attention to the pattern of his breathing and the shivering of his body, you can easily find all his sweet spots. Your fingers tease his pointy, pink nipples; your mouth is on his ears, kissing, licking, and carefully biting; your cock grinds against his crotch, making him hard again. And here you have it: Solomon’s body and mind are ready for something more than that.

He initiates it himself. The bottle, controlled by magic, jumps into your hands. The sorcerer can’t be more clear than that. You open the bottle and pour a sticky liquid on your fingers. It has a pleasant, flowery smell. Your fingers find the entrance, but before pushing in, you go back to kissing Solomon’s lips and ears to distract him.

The first finger thrusts in slowly. Solomon is so tight that you can’t get too deep. You give him time to get used to the sensation, then start carefully moving the finger inside, trying to ease his muscles.

“How do you feel?” you ask, examining Solomon’s reactions. “Too much, or can I continue?” 

“That’s… mhm… all right. Continue…” He lets out a shaky breath. Solomon doesn’t look uncomfortable or in pain, so you trust his words and start pushing the second finger. Surprisingly, it goes in smoother than expected. The hole sucks your fingers in almost eagerly. Solomon becomes restless, he trembles and quivers; his fingers grab the fabric beneath him; his eyes closed: the man has fully given up himself to the sensations.

Once again, it was rather easy. You expected Solomon to be more closed and stiff, but that’s not the case. He clearly enjoys himself, and you love to see it. You stretch his hole, making him open to you more, and add a third finger. Solomon’s hips jerk up, his legs enfold your body, and pull you closer.

You kiss him, quickening the pace of your pushes, he takes all three fingers easily, they now slide freely inside.

“You can… ah… start…” Solomon whispers to you.

And you only now realize that you don’t have condoms. You usually put it on your fingers as well, during the stretching part, but you totally forgot all about it.

“Do you have condoms? I completely forgot to buy them on my way here,” you ask Solomon.

“Haha… Even if you bought them, they would’ve teleported somewhere inside your clothes,” he chuckles quietly. The sorcerer snaps his fingers, and a pack of condoms appears on the bed. Neat. Damn, you wish you were a magician. Summoning stuff like that is a skill that is very hard to underestimate.

Without wasting any more time, you put a condom on your cock, it fits rather well. Solomon shifts his position to a more suitable one and spreads his legs wider. You put a pillow under his hips, it will be more comfortable for him that way. You lean in closer, kissing him again. Your dick finds an entrance and rubs against it teasingly. Solomon shivers, making you smile at how adorable he is. His hands are in your hair and on your shoulder. He holds you tightly; he’s so open, so passionate. He is ready.

You push inside slowly and gently. It takes some time for Solomon to get used to your size, but he finally relaxes, and you can thrust deeper. He’s so tight and hot inside, you have to remind yourself about self-control; otherwise, you would start pushing further at a pace much quicker than Solomon can bear. It takes several impossibly long minutes to get here, but now you’re all the way in. Solomon twitches around you, he squeezes your dick so perfectly that you can’t take it anymore. You start moving, slowly and steadily at first, but as soon as you hear Solomon’s first vocal moan you lose your patience.

You put your hands under his knees and lift his legs. Then, you move him closer to you and spread him wider, fixating in an ideal position to thrust inside him quicker. Solomon clenches his fingers on the bedsheets and moans more. His moans are quiet, but they get slightly louder once you find the sweet spot inside him. You need to put in a lot of work to hear his voice, but you absolutely love it.

Your pushes become stronger, faster, you chase both yours and Solomon’s pleasure. He lifts his upper body and hugs you, pulling all the way to him. You kiss, moaning into each other’s lips. Solomon doesn’t close his eyes, he looks at you: at your pleasure, the blush on your cheeks; he enjoys how you look at him, how you make his body sing.

You whisper in his ear, “Solomon…” And he comes, taking you with him.

***

You spend the whole evening in Solomon’s room. Your clothes are nowhere to be found, so Solomon lends you some of his. It’s a bit too tight for your liking, but it’s much better than walking the streets naked. The magician offers to accompany you home but you politely refuse. The road is not too long, so you’re confident that you can survive even without any weapons.

And you’re actually correct, you manage to get to the House without any problems. All the problems wait for you inside the House.

You don’t have keys, but you also don’t want to alert all the inhabitants by ringing the doorbell. So you head to the garden and climb inside the Planetarium. You go through the curtains into the music room, but if you knew who you’d meet there, you would’ve taken a different route.

“Good evening, Castiel,” Lucifer is sitting on a chair, drinking tea. He doesn’t listen to any music, it’s almost like he was sitting there specifically to ambush you. “Where have you been?”

“At the Purgatory Hall,” you reply. You won’t give him any more information than this.

“Hm, how interesting…” Lucifer takes a sip. “And why are you climbing windows instead of entering through the front door?”

“I lost my key,” you shrug. It makes you a bit sad actually, you liked this key.

“You lost it…” the demon thoughtfully repeats after you. “What a shame. So you left the house on your own once again, without telling anybody and without your phone, lost your key, and returned in the dead of night. Do you realize the consequences of your actions?” Lucifer speaks calmly, but you feel the weight of his words.

“How about a small bribe?” you smile politely. You really aren’t in the mood for a several-hour lecture.

“A bribe?...” Lucifer cocks his eyebrow.

“Yeah, follow me.” You turn and head to your room. You check whether Lucifer follows you only after you reach the door. He is right behind you, standing there like a dark shadow. If the demon is angry that you made him leave his tea and go after you, he doesn’t show it. He looks just as grumpy as always, not more, not less.

You open the door and start looking for the copy of a soundtrack you borrowed from Levi. It lies on the table, so you snatch it and return to Lucifer.

“Here’s my bribe,” you say, giving the soundtrack to the demon. He takes it out of your hands and reads the name. His eyes widen when he realizes what you gave him.

“It is…” he whispers in surprise.

“Yep,” you grin at him. You have to thank Mammon later, the dude knew what he was talking about.

Lucifer stares right into your soul with his red eyes. But the more he does it, the less scary it becomes. Soon you’ll get a complete resistance to his glances.

“You are lucky that demons can’t resist temptations, Castiel,” he says as he moves closer to you. Too close. He wants to force you to take a step back and press you against the wall to assert his dominance. But you stay on the spot, not moving an inch. He now breathes you right in the face. “When there’s something we really want staring us in the face, we have to have it. That’s simply how we are,” he whispers.

“Have fun with the recording then, I heard it’s quite rare and possibly even cursed. So, good luck,” you smirk and close the door right in front of Lucifer’s face.

Fuck these demons, getting up in your grill like that. The only demon in this house who respected your personal space was Beel. And maybe Levi, but he poked you with a mop several times, so he doesn’t really count. Even polite Satan already pressed you to the door once, breathing right in your face. You technically caused it, sure, but that’s not the point.

But there is no use in thinking about all this now. You need to focus on the task at hand. After several minutes of waiting you decide that Lucifer must be busy enough with your gift. You sneak out of your room and rush to the spiral stairs. You bring all your arsenal with you, even a bottle of spray deodorant.

…Finally, no one is going to stop you.

The familiar voice suddenly appears in your head.

Now’s your chance to climb the stairs. Come… this way, Castiel.

For fuck’s sake, this ghost even knows your name. You start feeling stupid once again, you walk right into the trap. But you already decided that you should investigate, it’s too late to get cold feet.

Up the stairs you go.

…

Well, there’s a door. A door with metallic bars. It’s obviously locked, but you could stick your hand between those bars if you wanted.  

Behind the door, there is… someone. A young man, looks a little bit messy and sleepy. You come closer and inspect his clothes, hair, eyes… Yeah, eyes. Violet eyes. That was not what you expected to find here.

“I knew you were the one person who’d be able to find me,” the youngest brother smiles happily at you.

“So, who are you?” You decide not to show that you already know the answer. You need to get as much info out of him as possible.

“Who am I?... That’s a good question. I forgot the answer long ago, myself.” Wow, if he wants to hide his identity so bad, he could’ve come up with some fake name at least. The acting is good, though: sad eyes, quivering lips.

“Are you a demon?” you ask. You’re curious if he tries to hide even this fact.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Just the thought of being one of them is enough to send a shiver down my spine!” the demon exclaims loudly. You have to close your eyes for a second to hold back the laughter. “I’m a human, just like you. A demon imprisoned me in here long ago, and I’ve been stuck here ever since,” he scowls. “It was Lucifer. I’m guessing you’ve met him.”

“Yeah,” you nod, indulging the demon to continue his speech.

“I’m begging you, Castiel. You’ve got to get me out of here!” Admittedly, his puppy eyes are almost as good as Beel's.

“And how can I do that?”

“Well, you can’t open this door. Neither of us is capable of that. It’s sealed with a very powerful sort of magic. In order to break the seal, you need the consent of Lucifer and his six brothers. But you can’t just politely ask them, I assume you understand that much. You have to bend demons to your will. Make pacts with them, all of them. You already have a pact with Mammon and Leviathan, right? Then your next target should be… Beelzebub. Yes, he’d be your best choice!”

Hm, seriously? First Levi sells his brother into slavery, and now this guy, whatever his name is, wants you to make all his brothers your puppets? There is more to this.

“So, I need to make pacts with all the brothers, correct?”

“Yes, I thought I explained this part to you already." The demon becomes impatient and loses his charm, just like the last time. He is not capable of keeping his act for too long.

“Does that include you?” you smirk.

The demon widens his eyes but quickly returns to scowling.

“So you already figured it out. Bravo. You’re not as dumb as you look. If you knew from the start who I was, you should’ve said so. It would save my precious time.”

“And miss out on your talented performance? No way,” you grin, turn around, and head to the stairs.

“WAIT! Where are you going?!” the demon panics.

“Well, since you weren’t sincere with me, why would I help you? And if I’m not going to help you, there is nothing left to discuss.”

“Ugh… Wait, I’ll tell you everything, just wait!”

You stop and turn around, ready to listen to another story.

“I’m Belphegor, the Avatar of Sloth. Look, all my brothers believe that I was sent to the Human world as an exchange student. Lucifer told them that he sent me there as a punishment. But he lied. As you can clearly see, I’m actually stuck here, in this filthy attic. Lucifer locked me here, that part was the truth.”

“So why don’t you just summon your brothers like you did with me?”

“If that was possible, I would’ve done it long ago, don’t you think?!” Belphegor yells at you. “What do you think my brothers would do if they learned about my current situation? I’m sure they’d fly into a fit of rage and confront Lucifer about it. And it wouldn’t be any ordinary family squabble. No, it might very well devolve into a war that would envelop the entire Devildom. Even the Human world wouldn’t be spared its effects.”

Well, you definitely believe this part of the story. Bob mentioned how dangerous the brothers' fights were; they literally made the whole neighborhood move out and abandon their houses.

“I’d like to find a peaceful resolution. I just want to have a proper face-to-face talk with Lucifer. Sure, we may have had a falling out, but really, it was only a little misunderstanding. If I could just talk to him, he’d realize that was the case.” The demon starts making sad eyes again. That means that he lies.

“You seem to care deeply about your brothers, despite everything,” you say, slightly approaching Belphegor. “That makes me wonder: why do you want a human to make a pact with all of them?”

“Because it’s my only hope! You’re my only hope!” the demon assures. He lost his mask again. He is telling the truth. But not all of it.

You consider your options. This fucker wants you to make pacts with his brothers. You doubt that you can pull it off, but you could certainly try. The question is: what for?

When you first heard the voice in your head, you hoped that it would be something that would bring chaos into demons’ lives. Specifically, into Diavolo’s and Lucifer’s, since they were the masterminds behind your kidnapping. Belphegor definitely has the potential to be a wild card that will do just that. But, of course, you want to avoid the destruction of the Human world.

You try to imagine two situations. First one, if you go downstairs and tell the brothers all about their youngest. There will be a fight with Lucifer for the right to release Belphegor. Consequences can be dreadful. Too dreadful, you and your home world can be destroyed because of that.

Situation number two: you release Belphegor. Same fight, but now Lucifer doesn’t have the upper hand – the prisoner. If the fight gets too out of control, you have a backup.

Pacts.

You will stop all of them with the power of pacts. You’ll have to throw your principles out of the window for this trick, but you’ll forgive yourself if it’s for saving the world. This situation will certainly make Diavolo lose his cool. A fight between trusty subordinates, The Seven Rulers, what could be worse?

There is also the other side of this story. If you ignore this whole situation, Lucifer can only hide his brother for so long. For one year, to be exact, since he claimed that Belphegor is an exchange student. What happens after that? The brothers will have questions. There will be another fight. For sure. It’s inevitable. And you won’t be able to control it.

Fuck, you need to make these pacts anyway. You must obtain control over all the brothers to prevent the destruction of your world. Shit, you wanted to be a bringer of chaos, not a fucking hero.

Whether you’re planning to release Belphegor or not, it’s necessary to make the pacts. He can give you important info on his brothers to help you gain their trust. But there is one thing that doesn’t allow you to just agree to his plan.

“You know what, Belphie? I might actually help you.” You look at the prisoner, smiling kindly. The demon immediately perks up. “But I have one little condition.”

“What is it? I can’t do much from here, but I’ll promise whatever you want!” Belphegor grabs the bars of the door tightly.

“Make a pact with me!”

…

“…Huh?”

“Make. A. Pact. With. Me. Pretty please!” The pure shock on demon’s face is amusing.

“You’re joking, right? Why do you need a pact with me?..”

“Oh, I have a perfectly good explanation for that, baby boy. I want to avoid you murdering me.”

“Why… Why would I murder you?! You’re my only hope!” The demon yells at you. He is nervous.

“Not now, obviously. Once I release you. You know,” you approach the demon slowly with an evil smile, “your love toward your brothers is so heartwarming, it almost made me cry. That’s why I can’t imagine how you could possibly allow them to stay under some human’s command. No, I bet you’ll twist my neck as soon as I release you, won’t you? And you will actually be a hero in your head, saving your big bros like that! But I have bad news for you: I won’t go down that easily.”

You stop right in front of the door, Belphie can’t grab you from this distance, but you’re still close.

“So that’s my offer: you make a pact with me that will prevent you from hurting me, and I will try to help you get out.”

“Ahahahaha! You’re insane! INSANE! I? Make a pact with YOU? A HUMAN?” Belphie throws a real tantrum. He tries to grab you, but can’t quite reach. “I will kill you! Right NOW! Come here, I will twist your neck right fucking now!”

“Oh well, guess we can’t reach an agreement, can we?” You smile, turn around and head downstairs.

“GET BACK HERE! Who told you that you could just turn around and walk away?! COME BAAAAACK!”

You return to your room. Shit, you need a cigarette. You rarely smoke, usually only after something stressful. But you managed to avoid this bad habit for a whole week, strangely enough. You open the window, climb on the windowsill and start smoking.

You don’t hear Belphie’s voice in your head. It seems this ability is not something he can use constantly. Great, you were actually nervous that he might yell non-stop inside your head, driving you crazy.

It’s a shame that the pact with him seems to be out of reach. To prevent the disaster, you would prefer to have pacts with all the brothers. But you’ll think about it later.

Say goodbye to your peaceful (yeah, right) days, Cas. You have a main quest now. Four pacts in a year. How hard can it be? Very hard. But you would never say no to a challenge. You sigh, extinguish your cigarette and go to bed.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Like a small boat on the ocean
Sending big waves into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

Rachel Platten – Fight Song

You wake up in the middle of the night from a sudden call. Whoever it is, if it’s not an urgent matter, like someone’s death, you’ll kill them.

“Yooooo…” you hear Mammon’s voice.

“Mon, are you crazy?! Do you know what time it is?”

“Nah, I don’t know. I just felt like hearin’ your voice…” the demon mumbles. Huh? Now, when you pay more attention to his voice, you notice that Mammon sounds rather strange. Is he drunk? He must’ve been celebrating a successful heist. Or he was drinking his sorrows away, after you basically rejected him and ran away. You feel guilty.

“Go to sleep, you’ll hear plenty of my annoying voice tomorrow.”

“But I wanna hear it now!.. No, I wanna see ya too. Come to my room, Cas… Please…” he whines. Shit, you actually want to go. But you can’t.

“No, I won’t go to your room, Mon,” you say to him softly.  

“Then I’ll go to yours!”

“No, that’s… Ugh, fine, let’s meet in the kitchen. I’m hungry anyway,” you suggest, remembering that you didn’t eat the whole day. You were never good at looking after yourself when it came to food, constantly forgetting to eat.

Mammon has already ended the call, so you assume that he is on his way. How naïve would it be to hope that drunk Mammon is easy to deal with? Very naïve, indeed.

The demon arrived to the kitchen much faster than you, which is impressive, considering that your bedroom is literally next-door. Mammon is sitting on the counter, waiting for you. As soon as he notices your arrival, he jumps on the floor and runs to you. Damn, what a goofy boy. You feel something warm inside your heart from how much he is excited to see you.

“Ya came” he says, giving you a bright, tipsy smile.

“Of course I did,” you smile back. Stop it, Cas. All the mixed signals are the exact reason why you’re in this situation right now. Teasing from time to time is all right, but not straight-up flirting. You need to be more mindful about how you’re speaking with this boy. That would be best for you and for him. “Sorry, but I’m actually dying from hunger.”

You pass by Mammon and go to the fridge. Unfortunately, you don’t find anything useful. The demon checks several cupboards and finds some instant noodles.

“Look what I found!” He swiftly turns to you. “They’re a bit spicy but very tasty.”

“Great, thanks.” You try to take the noodles from Mammon’s hands, but he hides them behind his back.

“Ya thought that the Avatar of Greed would just give ya what ya want?” he smirks. “Pay up!”

“Mammon…” you sigh. “Fine, how much do you want?”

Suddenly, he blushes and hides his gaze.

“I don’t need money from ya. I need… somethin’ else,” Mammon raises his eyes, staring at you. Shit, alcohol made him slightly braver, that’s bad.

“I’m afraid I don’t have anything I can give to you, Mon,” you smile sadly, approaching him closer. “Come on, give me that.”

“No! You won’t get anythin’ if you don’t give anythin’ in return!” Mammon takes a few steps back, still hiding the noodles.

“Oh, shit, Lucifer! What are you doing here so late?!” You look behind the demon’s back and use the most childish trick ever.

“Lucifer?! Where?” Mammon turns around, opening his back, and you instantly snatch the food. “HEY! How could you?!” The greedy demon turns back to you, furious that you tricked him like that. Mammon jumps toward you, trying to take the noodles back, but you raise your hand and stand on your tiptoes to keep the food away. The demon keeps furiously jumping on you, eyes on the target.

Several things happen within the next few moments. First, you lose your balance when Mammon pushes you especially strongly. Your tiptoes fail you, and you start falling backwards. Second, you try to stop your falling by grabbing the side of the counter. But while attempting this, you send flying some things that were standing there: someone’s cup (luckily, not Satan’s), several plates, and something with Beel’s name on it. All that flies to the ground. Together with you.

Third, Mammon loses balance the same second you do and falls right at you. He pins you to the floor, but somehow still manages to secure your head with his hand. Thanks to him, your head doesn’t meet the floor, and you avoid something more serious than a simple butt pain.

And last, but not least, Beel chooses this exact moment to appear in the kitchen. He was here earlier, planning to eat his custard. But the demon decided that it would taste even better with some whipped cream and strawberry syrup. Beel didn’t find the whipped cream in the kitchen, but remembered that Asmo took it earlier. Who knows what he used it for, but it wasn’t Beel’s business anyway. So, he had to go to Asmo’s room in the middle of the night. Asmo wasn’t happy to see him, but gave him what he wanted anyway. And now, after all that, Beel returns to his custard, only to witness it fly to the floor.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that his heart is broken. Sadness and anger mix into a dangerous cocktail, and he loses control over his body.

“MY CUSTARD!” he growls loudly, transforming into his demon form. All the stuff in the kitchen start jumping and falling apart just from the sheer power of Beel’s rage. You don’t even have a chance to realize what is happening. Mammon just snatches you from the ground and dives into the window with you in his hands. The window was closed, so he just smashed it with his head on his way out. But it’s still better than staying in the kitchen with enraged Beel.

You both land on the ground, relatively unharmed. You’re still squeezing the fucking noodles in your hand. Terrible sounds are coming from the house; you’re pretty sure that Beel smashed a few walls down.

“Are ya all right?” Mammon nervously asks you, inspecting your body. But it’s useless since he doesn’t know shit about human bodies.

“Dude, I’m not the one who smashed a fucking window with my head. Are you all right?” You sit yourself up and start checking Mammon’s head. Surprisingly, it doesn’t look too bad, it has already started healing. You carefully remove several shards, then shift your attention to Mammon’s face. It looks fine, thanks God. Maybe a little bit too red.

You only now realize that the demon is still hugging you. You were so worried about his wellbeing that you completely ignored his hands on your body. Fine, you’ll allow yourself a little weakness one last time. Mammon jumps in surprise when you suddenly hug him in return. His heart beats incredibly fast against your chest.

“Thanks for saving me, Mon,” you say quietly. You may be a bastard, but definitely not an ungrateful one. Mammon hugs you tighter in return.

“Mammon.” The blissful moment is interrupted by a cold, irritated voice. Fuck, not him again.

Lucifer is standing right next to you; he must’ve teleported, because you didn’t notice how he appeared there. An angry face, crossed arms over the chest, shining eyes – all that hints that you won’t get any sleep tonight. You bribed your way out of one lecture, but it seems that it’s your destiny to be scolded by Lucifer tonight.

Mammon and you both get up from the ground. The demon starts to quickly explain the situation to his older brother, while you try to peek into the window from a safe distance. It seems that Beel moved to another room, destroying everything there. That’s bad, your bedroom is right next to the kitchen.

You turn back, only to notice that Lucifer is already gone.

“He went to calm down Beel,” Mammon sighs. “Let’s go, he ordered to wait for him in his room.”

“Our estimated chance for escape?”

“Zero.”

“Roger that.”

You both head to Lucifer’s bedroom, but it’s locked, so you have to wait in the corridor. You hear music coming from behind the door. He must’ve been listening to the soundtrack you gave him. A cursed one (allegedly). Oh well, guess you’ll die. You don’t have any energy to worry about that.

It doesn’t take long for Lucifer to calm down Beel and bring him to you. The glutton looks somewhat ashamed and sad. All four of you enter the bedroom.

It’s your first time here. To be honest, you expected to see mechanisms for torture, chains on the walls, and more of these unpleasant paintings that hang everywhere in the house. But it wasn’t half as bad. The bedroom is just as gloomy and dark as you anticipated, but it looks rather normal. You don’t listen to the conversation between brothers, preferring to examine the whole room. Who knows what the future will bring you later? It’s better to remember everything about this room in detail, it can be useful.

Only after the brothers reach some kind of conclusion do you return your attention to them.

“So let me get this straight,” Lucifer lets out a tired sigh. “Castiel and Mammon went to the kitchen, started fooling around, and accidentally dropped Beel’s food. Beel threw a fit and started smashing everything around him. As a result, your childish behavior caused the complete destruction of the kitchen and Castiel’s room.”

“Wait, what was that about my room?...” you interrupt him.

“Did you not listen to our conversation at all?” Lucifer frowns at you, clearly pissed off that you ignored him for the last twenty minutes.

You attempt to respond, but you’re interrupted by the sound of some dying beast.

“Beel, calm down your stomach already, the noise is terrible,” Mammon winces.

“It wasn’t me,” the glutton protests.

The sound repeats once again; it is now obvious that it comes from your stomach. You stare at the noodles in your hand, considering if you should just eat them raw right now.

“Fine, I won’t lecture you for too long, but don’t think that we won’t return to this in the future.” Lucifer finds a tiny piece of kindness in his heart. It’s already the second time your stomach rescues you from impossibly long scolding. “Castiel, your room is currently not in the right condition for you to live there, since it lacks a wall. So, for the time being, I want you to stay in Beel’s room.”

“WHA?! Now wait just a second. Why are ya puttin’ Cas in HIS room? I mean, there’s enough space in my room!” Mammon protests loudly. You have to agree with him, so far, his bedroom was the biggest out of all the ones you’ve seen. Even Lucifer doesn’t have such luxury.

Living with Mammon… You want it and don’t want it at the same time. Beel is a much more preferable option. Well, if he likes you enough not to eat you in your sleep that is. The Avatar of Gluttony is a hot guy, it’s easy to like him. But you aren’t as close with him as with Mammon, so it will be easier for you to control your lustful urges around him. Well, in theory.

And you need to make a pact with him eventually. This will be a good opportunity to get to know each other better. You observe Beel’s reaction to Lucifer’s words. He looks completely calm, your possible presence in his room doesn’t really bother him.

“Beel, unlike you, has two beds in his room.” Lucifer tries to reason with Mammon.

“I have an amazing couch! Even two couches!” The greedy demon doesn’t give up easily. Maybe if you expressed your desire to stay in his room instead, you would be able to persuade Lucifer. But you stay silent.

“This is a trivial matter, Mammon. Don’t get jealous over it. It shows immaturity,” Lucifer smirks. Oh? You didn’t expect him to fire shots like that. He did witness your hug several minutes ago, but you thought that he would just ignore it. And now he uses it to make fun of his brother. Finally, a healthy sibling thing for once!

“Wha… jealous?! Wh-Wh-Who’re you callin’ jealous?! As if I’d be jealous! Pff!” Mammon blushes and tries to deny Lucifer’s accusations. But not very successfully.

“Then the matter is closed.” Lucifer turns to Beel: “Do you understand, Beel? This isn’t a request.”

“I understand,” the big boy simply nods.

“Tch… this sucks,” Mammon quietly mumbles.

“Beel, Mammon, you are free to go. Castiel, you stay,” Lucifer announces suddenly. Shit.

Once you and the demon are left alone in the room, the atmosphere drastically changes. You don’t like being with him one-on-one. Especially in his territory.

“I must say, I enjoy this record immensely,” he says. The music is still playing in the background. If the part about the curse is true, you have been cursed at least ten times already. This thing was playing during the whole conversation. “I listened to it over and over… I can’t tell you how many times. So, despite everything, I’m actually in a good mood right now.” He approaches you closer. “Since you gave me such an incredible gift, I want to give you a piece of advice. As a token of my good will.”

Lucifer looks threatening even while saying all these kind words. You don’t let his polite smile trick you. You regret that you don’t have a weapon right now.

“Castiel, you should focus on surviving this year here, finishing the exchange program, and going back to the Human world. That’s all you need to concern yourself with.”

Yeah, right. You fucked up, Lucifer, and locked your brother in the attic. And now, instead of actually just surviving, you need to worry about preventing the apocalypse. You witnessed Beel’s power just now. And he is only sixth in strength. Your home world won’t be able to fight back against something like that.

“Would you like me to make it a bit clearer for you?” Lucifer notices that you don’t pay much attention to his words. He gets angrier. “Curiosity killed the cat. Surely you’ve heard this expression? Well, curiosity can very literally get you killed here as well. Forget all about what happened this night. I allowed you to satisfy your curiosity as a favor to you. But rest assured, it won’t happen again.”

Oh? He definitely knows that you were in the attic. But something is not right. If Lucifer believed that you had contacted Belphie, he would kill you already. You know you would if you were in his shoes. Does he think that you didn’t find anything of value there? You better keep your mouth shut, too many blind spots.   

“Sure thing, boss,” you smirk. “Can I go now?”

“Yes, you may see yourself out,” Lucifer says, turning his back on you.

You feel a great sense of relief once you escape Lucifer’s lair. Even the air seems clearer outside his room.

“Are you all right?” A sudden question almost makes you jump. It’s Beel, he is waiting for you, leaning on the wall. You didn’t expect to see him here, but it’s a pleasant surprise.

“Yeah. Let’s go to your room.”

Beel just nods. He leads you to the door not so far from Lucifer’s room, unfortunately. But you forget all your worries when you get inside.

It’s absolutely beautiful. Soft coral and violet colors, neon lights in the shapes of the sun and moon, two giant beds… The bedroom is divided into two parts, each individual has their own separate space. So it’s also Belphie’s room. You didn’t realize that he and Beel were that close.

“So, this is my room.” Beel awkwardly points in the center of the bedroom.

“It’s amazing. Which bed can I take?”

“Take the one on the left. It’s my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” the demon points at the coral part of the room.

“But why?”

“…The bed on the right is my twin brother’s.” Beel replies after some hesitation. Holy shit, they are twins? Now you get why he looks so concerned about his brother’s fate, other brothers don’t seem to care that much. “His name is Belphegor. He’s in the human world right now as an exchange student. He…” Beel sighs. “He had a falling out with Lucifer, so he was chosen to be an exchange student. Belphie didn’t want to go, but he was forced to. So don’t mention his name in front of Lucifer.”

Wow, you feel like a real piece of trash right now. Beelzebub looks so sad and troubled, and you can’t even tell him that his brother is right above his head. You mentally recall the image of the furious Belphie who threatened to twist your neck not so long ago. You feel less guilty now.

“Tell me about him more,” you say, settling on his bed. You don’t really like the idea of taking Beel's bed, but you also don’t want to sleep on a couch for who knows how long. So you decide to accept Beel’s offer for now.

The demon seems to like the idea of speaking about Belphie.

“Even though we’re twins, all that means is that our father made us at the same time. It’s not like we’re alike in any way.” He smiles: “Still, Belphie and I always got along. We used to have a little sister, Lilith. So the three of us were always together. But… that was a long time ago.”

“Lilith? I heard about Belphie at least a little bit, but I didn’t even know that you had a sister.” You’re surprised. ‘Used to have a little sister’… The story behind this can’t be joyful.

“I don’t feel like talking about her right now.” Beel looks like a sad puppy. You want to hug him, but you’re not sure that he will accept it. “When Belphie returns to the Devildom, you’ll go back to the Human world. Which means you two are never gonna meet each other.”

“That’s… a real shame. From the way you describe him, he must be a cool dude,” you force a weak smile.

This meaningful conversation is once again interrupted by your stomach. Beel’s belly growls in return.

“Haha, they’re communicating,” you smile sincerely.

“The only thing you have is this?” Beel points at the instant noodles.

“Yeah…”

“I think I’ll order some pizza then. Which one would you like?” The demon takes out his phone.

“Oh, I… I’m not sure that my money survived, so I’ll settle on these noodles, thank you,” you reply. You already took his bed, it won’t be fair to allow him to feed you as well.

“Don’t worry, I’ll pay. So what do you want?” Beel insists. Oh, well.

“I don’t know what kind of pizza you have in the Devildom, so order whatever you like,” you smile at him. This day is starting to get a little bit better.

“Okay,” Beel nods and proceeds to make a massive order over the phone. “They will bring everything in fifteen minutes.”

“Wow, that’s fast. I’m surprised that they even work at this hour.”

“I’m their VIP client. They always answer when I call.”

“Makes sense,” you nod. “I’m gonna check if something survived down there. I’ll bring my stuff if I find something.”

“Fine…” Beel agrees. “Cas… sorry for destroying your bedroom.” Oh no, it’s them. THE puppy eyes. Belphie has no chance of recreating these, no matter how hard he tries.

“Well, what’s done is done. I think some tasty pizza will help me forget about this unpleasant episode,” you get up, approach Beel and slightly pat his shoulder. “I’ll be back soon, don’t eat everything without me.”

“I won’t,” he assures you.

You head downstairs, hoping that you won’t be smashed by some wall or a part of the ceiling while you’ll look for your stuff.

…

Well… The wall is completely gone. The good news is that all the plants under the tree survived. Your money, phone, weapons, cigarettes, deodorant and hairbrush are okay. They are lying on the table, far enough from the place of the main hit. The bad news… Everything else is gone. Your bathroom is nonexistent. All the clothes, shoes, your uniform, Solomon’s stuff that he lent you… Nothing but a distant memory. The only piece of clothing you have is currently on you. Your pajamas. A black tank top and plaid blue pants. Awesome. You’re back to square one. At least you can now buy something with stolen money, but nothing too crazy.

You hope that Diavolo won’t charge you for the uniform. Just that fucking dragon-skin belt must cost a fortune. You pick up all the belongings that you have and head back. But the sound of the doorbell stops you. This must be pizza. They arrived even faster than expected. You head to the door and open it. But it’s not pizza.

“Good morning, Castiel,” Barbatos bows to you.

“H-Hi… What are you doing here? And wait… It’s morning already?!” You peek outside. Barbatos is right, the sky is not that dark. All the demonic shenanigans made you lose track of time.

“…I see. It must’ve been quite an eventful night,” You notice a shadow of a smile on his face. “As to why I’m here… I wanted to return you this.”

Barbatos hands you… Your clothes. The ones that teleported. They are folded flawlessly; you feel a faint smell of some kind of laundry detergent. At the top, Barbatos put impeccably clean shoes and everything that was in your pockets: money, a key, a little jackknife…

“Wow…” That’s the only word you can think of in this situation. “But… How?”

“You see, it’s quite an interesting story,” Barbatos smiles politely. “Young Master was having his dinner, when suddenly, these clothes appeared. The shirt landed right on top of Young Master, I got the jeans, but the shoes… One of them fell right in the soup Young Master was eating, and the other one chose his head as its target. Your underwear was actually the politest one: it landed in Young Master’s hand. But don’t worry,” his smile got wider, “I washed everything, so the stains from the soup shouldn’t be a problem.”

…

Holy. Shit. You have no words, so you hide your eyes behind a facepalm. Damn Solomon, out of all the places in the universe…

“Barbatos… I’m so sorry…” you can only mumble. This must be the most embarrassing moment of your life.

“I assure you that there is nothing to worry about.” Barbatos tries to calm you down, but his cheeky smile shows his real thoughts. He is dying of laughter inside. “Young Master found the whole ordeal quite amusing, so there is no need to apologize.”

“How did you even know that it was mine?...”

“Magic can reveal a lot of secrets,” Barbatos smiles mysteriously. You can only imagine what he found out from the inspection of the clothes that disappeared during a steamy encounter. And you don’t want to know.

“Excuse me, I have an extra-large order for Mr. Beelzebub.” Your embarrassing talk was interrupted by a pizza boy, carrying a high tower of pizza boxes.

“Yes, it’s mine,” Beel appears right behind you, and takes all the boxes. How long was he standing there and how much did he hear?! You try not to think about it. 

“Well, I see that you have other business to attend to. Farewell,” Barbatos bows politely and leaves.

You won’t think about it. Nope. The only thing on your mind is pizza. Nothing else matters. Even your underwear in the prince’s hands can’t distract you from food. You have more clothes now. That’s what you should think about. Finally, something good happened, right? Right…

You stuff your face with pizza at a pace that can even compete with Beel. That’s what a whole day without food does to you.

The breakfast is cancelled since the whole kitchen was destroyed. There is a lot of complaining, but nothing can be done. All the demons have to find food elsewhere, since you and Beelzebub ate everything pizza-boy brought.

It’s time to go to RAD, but your uniform was demolished along with your closet, so you have to use the infamous teleporting clothes. You hope that you won’t meet Diavolo while wearing these.

But there is this feeling in the back of your head, the one that saved your ass many times in the past. Problems. They are out to get you. You’re not sure how accurate your radar is today, given that you barely slept and already experienced more than enough trauma for one day. Still, you decide to take all your arsenal with you, including the spray.

You hope that you won’t need it.

***

Your hope was in vain.

It happens right after the third class. There are not many students in RAD at this hour, most of them have exactly three classes per day to be able to work right after that. The officers of the student council start their usual meeting in the assembly hall, no doubt doing something extremely important.

After the wild night and morning you need some stress relief. You find a pleasant, secluded place in the courtyard and light up a cigarette. Unfortunately, smoking is bad for your health. But not in the way you would’ve expected.

They approach you calmly, like they’re your good buddies, and it’s completely normal for them to get to you that close. They even have friendly smiles on their faces. Three demons. Three threats.

Two of them you know already. Solomon knocked them out on your first day at RAD. Red-skinned with big yellow eyes and the one with long claws and a sharp tail. But thanks to your research, you now know more about them. Red-skinned can make you see hallucinations, they are not much of a fighter but a great support. You’ll be fine as long as you don’t look them in the eyes.

The second one is as straightforward as it gets: beware of their tail and claws and you’ll be fine. Easier said than done, sure, but nobody said that survival would be easy. The only advantage you have against this demon is that their body is not so strong. Easy to cause serious damage.

The third one is some kind of lizard. But not like Levi, the real one: lizard head, scales covering their whole body, long tail. Bad eyesight, but sharp, poisonous teeth and natural armor, represented by scales.

You can’t fight them all simultaneously. Right now the best course of action will be to retreat. You’ll either manage to run away or split them and beat up one by one. They chose the ideal time for an attack: no witnesses around, the whole student council is on a meeting, the sorcerer and angels have already left home. If they kill you right here, nobody will know. Nobody will help you.

Little did they know, you don’t need anyone’s help.

“Hey, buddy, how’s it.. AAAAAAHHHHHH!” The red-skinned demon, or Red for short, greets you with a smile, approaching close enough for you to dash and poke one of their eyes with a cigarette. You don’t even need to look at them to do that: the eyes are huge, it’s hard to miss. One less eye to worry about.

Without giving the other demons a chance to grab you, you run back into the building. The door you use leads to the main hall, from there, you will be able to run in any direction. You run through the doors, enter a hall, and that is the moment you learn: there are actually four demons.

Something hits your face so hard that you black out for several moments. This one also went for an eye, smart. Now that you have one less eye to use, you can’t see shit on your left. You quickly inspect your new opponent: muscles, muscles, muscles. And enormous horns, you can only pity the demon: it must be hard to live with those things on the head.

But you can’t afford to gawk for too long, Lizard and Pointy are on your tail. There are several more students around you, but they’re just watching or cheering on your attackers. Well, as long as they don’t join the fight, you don’t care about them.

The demon who hit you, whom you decide to call Horny after their horns, looks smug as hell; they relax right after the hit, waiting for their friends. It was their mistake. You decide to use the same tactic you used for Bob: squat and attack knees. But this time, no mercy.

You cover your damaged eye, pretending to be so hurt that you need to lower your body. Your trusty knife slides familiarly into your hand, and you make your move. Forward, slash, move behind their back, another slash on the back of the knee, and while you’re at it, hit another leg in the same manner.

Horny yells from pain and falls forward, they are not capable of standing for now. But it’s only temporarily, this particular type of demon has great regeneration.

Meanwhile, Lizard and Pointy are already here. They attack you at the same time. You jump to the side and pull out your spray: you don’t want to let any of them get to you close, and deodorant is a good semi-ranged weapon. You manage to hit both of them thanks to the element of surprise, and slow them down a little bit.

That’s the best chance you’ll get, so while they’re screaming and covering their eyes, you strike Pointy. A large cut appears on their right hand, the demon howls in agony. They won’t be able to use the claws on this one.

But Lizard is already back in the game, attacking you with his teeth from the left side, exactly where your disadvantage is. Suddenly, you feel warmth from Mammon’s pact mark. You successfully avoid the attack, moving unexpectedly fast.

Your success doesn’t last long. Pointy uses their tail and slices the back of your legs, making you fall to the ground. Lizard swiftly climbs on top of you, baring their teeth. They pin your hand with a knife to the ground using the tail (damn tails), the second hand is held down by Lizard’s arm.

Poison on their teeth is deadly, if you get even one scratch, you are done. You need to act urgently. Their body can’t be fully covered with scales, there must be a soft spot somewhere. And you see it, right under the chin.

Not giving yourself time to think, you bare your teeth and bite Lizard’s neck. Your jaw and teeth may not be as powerful, but you need to survive. So you bite, bite so hard that you hear clicking in your jaw, you may even damage something there. Blood fills your mouth, you almost choke on it, but continue to bite. Lizard tries to scream from pain and horror, but they choke on blood as well. All they can manage to let out is terrifying gurgling. This taste and these sounds will visit you in nightmares, for sure. 

When you reach your limit and get as deep as you can, you start shaking your head from side to side without letting go of their neck. It takes you several swings to reach your goal: you tear a chunk of flesh from their neck. Lizard falls on the floor, twitching and gurgling, unable to continue the fight.

You get up as quickly as you can, the wounds on the back of your legs are serious but not fatal: you can still fight. There are much more students around you, most of them record everything on their phones, but don’t intervene, good. Pointy stares at Lizard and you with a horrified expression, unsure whether they should attack you, or try to help their friend, good. Horny is still on the ground, but not for long: they already make attempts to get up, each attempt is more successful than the last one. Not good. Red is nowhere to be seen, but you have no doubts that they will appear soon.

You need to neutralize Pointy before Horny and Red return their ability to fight. Your best bet: mental pressure. They are very affected by the sight of their friend, twitching on the ground in the puddle of blood. And you assume that you look like a literal creature from hell, covered in blood, with maniacal sparks in the eyes. Well, one eye.

You stare right at them, when you spit out a piece of flesh in Pointy’s direction. You smile, showing your teeth, covered in blood. Then, you lift your arm and do a beckoning gesture with your fingers, taunting them to attack you. Your left hand slides into your pocket.

It works just as intended. Pointy attacks you, but they are no longer sure in their movements. You shift the right hand with the knife, pretending that you’re going to strike. Instead of going for the attack, they decide to block your hit, protecting one side. But completely opening the other side. Your left hand, with metal brass knuckles on it, flies toward Pointy’s head. It was a good hit, Pointy stops in their tracks completely, disorientated. You continue attacking, alternating the knife and brass knuckles. Your highest priority is their head, you need to knock them unconscious as soon as possible: Horny is about to get up.

Despite being hit many times, Pointy holds up well, even strikes back. They slash your arms and thighs several times, but you manage to avoid most of the attacks. Mammon’s mark fills your body with energy, you can move much faster than usual, despite numerous wounds. But there can be only one end: you finally manage to hit strong enough to make Pointy fall to the ground.

Just in time, because Red rushes through the door, holding one hand above their damaged eye. You hear Horny getting up behind your back, they will for sure go for the attack with the horns. You stand right between the two of them, facing Red. They are furious, they run toward you at the same time. You notice Red’s eye glowing, so you close your healthy eye. You can now use only your ears. Horny is close. You hear them rushing toward you. There’s only one chance, just a little bit longer…

You jump to the side the last moment before Horny crushes into you. You fall to the ground, your damaged legs blow up with pain. Shit, this is bad, very bad. You raise your glance at the pair of demons to see what happened. Horny knocked down Red so hard that they flew all the way to the doors, smashing right into them.

And now, Horny slowly turns to you. Except, they keep turning further, facing the other direction entirely. Their eyes glow with yellow light. Oh shit, Horny’s hallucinating, Red managed to strike them with their power.

Horny lowers their horns, and charges forward. Scared demons that were standing right where Horny is charging run away as fast as they can. But the demon doesn’t chase them. They continue to push forward, running into… running into…

Oh, no. Oh, dear. Oh, fuck.

Horny crashes into the statue of Diavolo, smashing it so hard that cracks start appearing and spreading rapidly. You hear a sound of stone breaking, the monument shakes and starts to fall. Right at you.

You desperately try to get up, but your legs don’t listen to you. So you crawl, you just need to get a little further to the side to avoid the fucking stone tits of the future Demon King.

…Fuck, you can’t make it, can you?..

…Just… a little bit… further…

…

You’re lifted high in the air by someone, you feel their shaky hands on your back. You hear an extremely loud sound of the monument landing on the floor. But you’re safe.

There is a huge commotion. A lot of screams, you think you hear Mammon, Diavolo, Lucifer… No, you hear them all, except for…

You lift your eyes to your savior. It’s Asmo. He’s the one who doesn’t scream. He looks at you, terrified, still holding you in the air. You try to reassuringly smile at him, but his face twists even more. Oh, right, you forgot how horrible you look.

Well, you feel safe in his arms, so your whole body relaxes. The consciousness leaves you right there, in the air.

Damn, what a day.

***

You wake up in an unknown place. It’s very bright and smells like meds. Oh, you must be in the hospital. That makes sense. You instantly remember everything that happened. To be completely honest, you’re quite proud of yourself: fighting four demons like that wasn’t easy, but it was definitely satisfying. You missed these kinds of dangerous beatings. Bob fought well, but he was never an actual threat. These four were.

You don’t think that you actually managed to kill any of them, but the monument could finish them off. That would be funny. Instant karma for attacking a precious human on Diavolo’s grounds.

“Oh, I see that you’re already awake.” An unknown demon with a long beard appears in front of you. Must be a doctor. “My name is Dr. Aesculapius, glad to finally meet you, Castiel.”

“Sorry, what? Ae… How was that again?” You frown, trying to spell the name. Shit, where’s Bob when you need him? The bull-demon has a perfect name, you can’t believe that you actually criticized him for it.

“Don’t worry, I’m the only doctor you ever meet in the Devildom, so there is no need to remember my name,” Doc politely smiles.

“Wait, there are no other doctors here?”

“Of course there are more doctors, but you will never meet them, my boy. Because I’m the only one who is actually knowledgeable enough to cure humans,” he explains patiently.

“So, what’s wrong with me, Doc?”

“Right now? Everything’s perfectly fine, I healed you, so you’re free to go.”

“Seriously? That easy? I had quite a lot of wounds, Doc,” you narrow your eyes in disbelief.

“And magic healed all of them! Human bodies are so fragile, but they are also easy to heal. Much easier than any demon. So you can finally go!”

“Hm? 'Finally'? How long have I been here?”

“Only for several hours, my boy, but your… friends, they have no respect whatsoever. They just kept breaking the door, interrupting the process of your healing with endless questions… I had to ask Lord Diavolo himself to order them to stop! So, as much as I enjoy having you as a patient, please, take care. I don’t want to kick out the Seven Rulers ever again! Mainly because it’s simply impossible without Lord Diavolo’s help.”

“The Seven Rulers? All of them?”

“Well, I didn’t see the youngest one, but I believe he is on some kind of trip. There were also the other human and two angels… You have too many friends, my boy!” the doctor exclaims.

“Friends, huh…” you smile to yourself. It sure is pleasant when someone is worried about you.

You climb off the bed, realizing that Doc didn’t lie to you: your body is completely fine. It almost feels like cheating, you are used to spending weeks with traumatized limbs or other serious damage. But now you’re healed almost constantly, not even a single scratch left.

“Doc, do you know what happened to my… opponents?”

“Don’t worry, you will never see them again. Everything that was left of their bodies was scraped off the ground and sent to the hospital. After they regain their senses, and it will take weeks, there will be a trial. And Lord Diavolo… he doesn’t treat lightly people who stand in his way. They committed an awful crime, so they’re doomed,” Doc frowns, he seems to be on Lord Diavolo’s side.

“The prince will personally decide what to do with them?” you ask, it doesn’t sound quite right to you.

“Yes, he does it in special cases or when a crime is committed on RAD grounds.”

“So he just intrudes into the legal system however he pleases… Sounds like a dictatorship," you mumble quietly to yourself, but Doc hears you anyway.

“Monarchy is almost always a dictatorship at its core, my boy,” the doctor sighs. “Of course, we have the House of Lords, they can technically keep Lord Diavolo at bay, but he is the rightful Future King, so there is not much they can do. Not that it’s actually needed. I’ve seen a lot of kings in my lifetime, but Lord Diavolo is the best of them all.”

Hm. So far, you’ve only met demons who are very loyal to Diavolo. But it would be interesting to hear an alternative view. The prince can’t be as ideal as everyone describes him.

You say your goodbyes to Doc and leave the room. And appear right inside RAD. Huh, so it isn’t a hospital after all, it’s just an infirmary. So Diavolo supposedly hired Doc, so that he could heal you right on the spot. Such on-point foresight! So they can organize things smartly. They just chose not to when it came to your abduction. Sweet.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a hug. Mammon snatches you as soon as you appear in the corridor. He doesn’t hold you for long, releasing you immediately, but it was more than enough to show how much he worried.

You look around, noticing that the whole gang is here, even Solomon and the angels. Levi is also here, today was actually his first day at the Academy after his long break. Not the best first day, you hope that he won’t lock himself in his lair after that.

You’re instantly surrounded by everybody, even Lucifer looks a little bit worried. Everyone speaks at the same time, they need to know if you’re okay, are you hurt, what did the doctor say, do you need anything…

Each person asks if you’re fine at least twice, just in a different manner. It’s heartwarming, but exhausting. You just nod to every question. The only person who isn’t as exhausting is Satan. He asks about your state only once. Then he switches to complimenting your fighting skills.

Apparently, there are quite a lot of videos of your fight, thanks to the numerous demons that witnessed the battle. The guys show them to you on your way home. The most shocking one is definitely the one where you bite a chunk out of Lizard. That’s Satan’s favorite.

Nobody mentions that you technically destroyed a priceless monument, Lucifer and Diavolo just let it slide. Diavolo whispers to you that he has actually always hated this statue, and asks for your opinion about what he should put there instead. You suggest a fountain, and the prince wholeheartedly supports your idea.

The future king actually makes several attempts to steal you for a small talk, presumably to apologize for failing to secure your safety, but he never gets a proper chance. The rest of the gang constantly circles around you, making it impossible to have a heart-to-heart talk.

All the boys accompany you to the House of Lamentation where you all have dinner that consists of the meals that Lucifer ordered beforehand. Diavolo and Barbatos have to leave early, there is still a ton of work after today’s disaster.

Solomon and the angels go home right after them. But you manage to get a minute of privacy with Solomon before that. He hugs you and kisses your cheek, and you apologize for destroying the stuff he lent you. He assures you that it’s not a big deal.

You decide not to tell him the story about teleporting clothes. It’s better if only three people know about that, you had enough embarrassment already.

Your moment of privacy is interrupted by Beel, who snatches you and returns back to the table. He claims that you need to eat well to fully recover. You don’t argue with that logic and start eating.

Only after you eat what feels like half of all the food does Beel let you go to the shower. Unfortunately, the teleporting clothes are completely ruined, not even Barbatos could've fixed them. So you’re left with only your pajamas once again. But luckily you have enough time before classes tomorrow, so you’ll manage to buy yourself at least something. You’re planning to go to the shop that Mammon called a shithole. It’s just down the road, and the prices shouldn’t be too high for your wallet.

But once you exit the bathroom, you meet another person who wants to talk with you. Asmo was waiting for you patiently in the corridor. He perks up once he sees you, there is a friendly smile on his face.

“Hi again, Tiel,” he says, keeping his distance not to alert you.

“Hi, Asmodeus,” you reply. It’s not quite clear how you should act. You weren’t on the best terms with Asmo, to put it lightly, but today something changed. He saved you. He was the first one to get to the hall, and it was him who rescued you last second.

The brothers told you what happened: everyone heard a commotion during their meeting, and they rushed to investigate. But Asmo, who was in the toilet at that moment, was much closer. He was checking his Devilgram, where he saw all the photos, videos and live streams of your battle. Asmo instantly took his demon form and flew toward the hall. He got there just in time to help you. The demons that attacked you weren’t so lucky, the monument fell right at them. Even Horny, who was the only one still conscious, couldn’t avoid the statue, they were hallucinating too hard. Nobody in the crowd was hurt though, they managed to escape without any problems.

“Don’t worry, I won’t take much of your time, hon. I just heard that Beel destroyed not only your bedroom but your closet as well, right?” Asmo tries to act as neutral as possible. You’re not the only one who doesn’t know what to do.

“Yeah,” you nod, waiting for him to continue.

“Well, if you ask me, he did you a favor. Mammon has some kind of taste, but it’s not as ideal as mine. The clothes you had weren’t able to capture your true beauty, Tiel,” the demon smiles at you.

“Asmo, what do you want? If you came just to insult Mammon’s fashion sense, I’m not interested,” you frown. You were very content with the looks the demon chose for you.

“No, I… Sorry, let me start from the beginning. Do you have time before tomorrow's lessons? I offer you to go on a shopping spree with me, we will restore your wardrobe and make it even better than before.” Asmo flashes you a polite smile, but he doesn’t look as confident as before.

“Why?” you simply ask. The Avatar of Lust wants to fix his relationship with you? According to Satan, Asmo is always surrounded by fans. Maybe he can’t stand the thought that somebody doesn’t like him? So far, it’s the most plausible reason.

“I didn’t treat you kindly when you just got here. I know that I ruined everything by doing what I did, and I thought that just ignoring you would be good enough for both of us. But you,” Asmo sadly smiles, “you are very hard to ignore, Tiel. When we were flying there, when I was holding your unconscious body, I thought to myself: I can fix everything, as long as you’re alive. So, I ask you to give me another chance. Please, let me show you who I really am.”

Asmo still keeps his distance, giving you enough space to breathe. So that is what makes a demon start respecting your personal space: you need to nearly die in their hands, it's that easy. Sarcasm aside, you still didn’t say a proper "thank you" for your rescue. But after everything that happened between you and Asmo, you don’t have any desire to thank him. You don’t believe that he really changed, it’s impossible to do that quickly, in your opinion.

But you’re also not an ungrateful bastard, you remind yourself. And you need to make the pact with Asmodeus eventually, whether you like it or not. So you have to shove your resentment up your ass and try to make peace with the Avatar of Lust.

“I will be frank with you: I don’t think that we can ever be on good enough terms to be able to call ourselves friends. But you rescued me, and, despite our previous history, I should show more gratitude. So if that’s what you want, fine. I’ll go shopping with you.”

“Thank you, honey. I promise, you won’t regret it.” Asmo seems genuinely happy. You look at his smile and don’t feel anything. Usually you enjoy watching other people smile or laugh, but this guy caused too much damage. You can’t just move on, even after he saved your life. Maybe you just need more time. Maybe time won’t heal everything. But you have to try to be the bigger man and make an effort for the sake of the pact.

After you finish talking with Asmo, you rush to Cerberus. Apparently, the giant hellish beast is a much safer stress reliever than smoking. You have a great time petting and scratching the dog. If only all the demons could be at least half as good as Cerberus, the Devildom would be a real paradise.

You waddle to Beel’s bed in a much better mood. Your roommate is already sleeping on a couch, so you just fix his blanket and go to sleep. It’s easy to fall asleep after such a wild day, and you just hope that this night will be normal, for a change.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Get in my car and we'll drive around
We'll make believe we are free
Already proved we can tough it out
And we get along so sweetly

Paramore – Fast in My Car

It was a good night. No voices in your head, no Lucifer’s scolding, no tantrums of ancient demonic creatures. You finally manage to get a good rest, and wake up in a great mood. Beel is already awake, he silently exercises, trying to be as quiet as possible and avoid waking you up. Currently he is doing sit-ups, so you have a VIP view of his backside. What a glorious sight. Your mood is getting even better. 

But, alas, Beel notices that you’re awake and stops exercising.

“Good morning,” the demon greets you with a smile.

“Good morning, Beel. Do you exercise every day like that?”

“Yeah. But it’s only a warm-up. I’m going to jog a little bit after that. Do you want to join?” the glutton suggests; he seems to like the idea of having a partner for his exercises.

“Sorry, buddy, I need to go shopping with Asmo today. But I’m definitely interested in joining you some other time.”

Lately, your primary source of physical activity has been dancing. You didn’t visit a gym for a long time, but you didn’t really need it. Breakdancing is the type of dance that keeps your body in amazing shape, given how many acrobatic moves there are. But there was a time, way before you found your true passion, when you were exercising constantly. First, it was out of boredom, there isn’t much to do in prison; then, it was needed for your line of work: you must run fast and hit hard if you want to survive in a viper nest. But you dropped all that once you learned that you can utilize your physique for something more than beating the shit out of someone. Dancing completely changed your life and gave you the strength to try to become a better person.

But the future had an excellent joke in store for you. Once you got your life in order, you were tossed into the most dangerous place in the universe – the Devildom. You already lost count of how many life-threatening situations you've encountered lately. You managed to get out of yesterday’s fight, but who knows how many more battles you have to survive. You need every advantage you can get. Doing sports with Beel can give you such an advantage. You may never be as strong as demons physically, but you don’t need to be. Just strong enough to utilize the weaknesses of your enemies. Everybody has their weaknesses.

While you were thinking about the crucial role of sport in your life, Beelzebub was worrying about something else entirely.

“You’re going with Asmo? Are you sure that it’s a good idea?” he asks. Right, you almost forgot that Beel was there when you and Asmo attacked each other. The glutton stopped your hand with a knife from thrusting into Asmo’s chest.

“I… I’m not sure. But I want to try to make the situation better. Asmo saved me, after all. So maybe we can find some common ground,” you reply. You obviously don’t say that your main motivation is to make a pact with the Avatar of Lust.

“If you say so,” Beel nods.

As embarrassing as it is, you’ll have to go outside in your pajamas. Pointy’s claws and Lizard’s blood completely destroyed the last piece of clothing you had. You hope that the next wardrobe will survive longer. You’re tired of worrying about what you can wear. 

Asmo is already waiting for you near the exit. He looks good: hair, make-up, nails, clothes - everything tastefully combines with one another. He must’ve put a lot of work into today’s look. You wonder how early he woke up.

“Good morning, Tiel,” Asmo chirps, giving you a happy smile. “Everything is ready for today’s shopping. I already rented a car, it will help us move around the city quicker. Do you know how to drive, or should I take the wheel?”

“Yeah, I know how to drive, don’t worry,” you reply, but you’re not sure that you want to drive the car Asmodeus chose. It must be some kind of bright-pink monstrosity. You start to have second thoughts about this whole idea: Asmo almost always wears something cute and pink. It suits him well, but it won’t suit you. If Asmo insists on changing your style so drastically, you’ll have to end your shopping early and buy something on your own.

But once you go outside and see your car for today, you understand that maybe you judged Asmo a little bit too prematurely. It’s an elegant, dark-blue car that strongly reminds you of Mercedes in the Human world. It looks expensive, but not in a show-off manner. A surprisingly mature car, you expected something entirely different.

“Can I ask you something?” you address Asmo while examining the vehicle. “You chose this car because you thought that I might like it, or it’s something you usually use?”

“…I see. You expect me to be a rather one-dimensional person, don’t you? Cute, pink stuff, sex, you think that’s all what I am?” Asmo still smiles, but you can see that you offended him.

“I told you before, and I’ll say it again: there’s nothing wrong with constantly thinking about sex or cute stuff. And since we decided to set aside our differences for today, I want you to be more genuine with me. You promised to show me who you really are, not to kiss my ass for the whole day.” You frown and explain your view on the matter. Asmo seems a little bit surprised, but he returns to his joyful self very quickly:

“If that’s how you put it… I think I will like this car more if I do… This!” He snaps his fingers, and the vehicle in front of you changes its color to bright red. Yeah, that looks more like Asmo’s style.

“All right, now we’re good to go. Hop in!” You climb into a driver’s seat and start a car. Asmo sits right beside you. “Turn on the music that you like,” you suggest. The demon chooses some energetic pop that you actually enjoy; you can easily imagine yourself dancing to such music. Asmo sets the direction in the GPS, and you start driving.

The road is more pleasant than you expected. When the demon relaxes enough, he starts to sing along with the song. Asmo has a beautiful voice, so you enjoy his little performance. The car also adds to the experience; you’ve never had a chance to drive such an expensive vehicle.

You arrive at the street full of clothing stores. That’s apparently a heart of fashion of the whole Devildom. Asmo leads you straight to his favorite shop – Majolish, where he drowns you in a pile of clothing that you ‘absolutely have to try on, they will take your beauty to the next level, darling’.

The more items you put on yourself, the more you realize: the guy actually knows what he is doing. Mammon’s choices were tasteful and on-point, but Asmo’s… All the clothes are professionally handpicked to match your appearance and personality. You look absolutely stunning in most of the looks, even in fucking new pajamas. That’s nothing like Asmo’s style, but he absolutely nails it.

Then he drags you to another shop to choose accessories, then another for sportswear and sneakers, then one more for underwear…

Your head starts spinning from all the items he puts on you, then takes them off, then puts something else… Asmo notices that you need a break, so he takes you to some cozy café. It’s a nice change of pace, you get to finally have your breakfast while making photos of Asmo with his food for his Devilgram.

While Asmo is publishing his new photos on his page, you look out of the window. But you are still looking at Asmo. Even three of them. They look at you from the lipstick ad, watch ad, fashion show ad… You didn’t notice it before, but Asmo’s face is all around the city.

“Asmo, are you also a model?” you ask him, thoughtfully munching your pancakes.

“Oh! I see you finally noticed all the posters and banners. Yes, I’m a model. But also a designer, producer, singer, songwriter, Devilgram-influencer, DevilTube-influencer, host of several shows, actor, voice-actor… And I’m only scratching the surface, honey,” he charmingly smiles at you, enjoying your shock.

“Like… You just had so many careers in the past, or…”

“No, hon. I’m having all this careers right now. Simultaneously.”

“Wow,” you are amazed. If there is a type of person you can genuinely respect, it’s hardworking one. And if everything he said is true, Asmo is the Avatar of Workaholism. Especially if you add the fact that he also regularly goes to RAD and works there as the officer of student council. How can he have energy for any love affairs after that? Now that’s the real magic.

“There is nothing too unusual, really. I just do what I love and what I’m passionate about,” he smiles shyly. But you can see how happy he is to brag about his accomplishments. And fine, he deserves some praise.

“I have to admit, you’re a much cooler dude than I expected,” you smirk.

This whole hangout has been surprisingly enjoyable so far. Asmo learned from his mistakes and started treating you with more respect. He didn’t make any inappropriate comments, even when you were choosing underwear. Maybe it’s all just an act, but you don’t really care. You don’t want to be friends with him, you want to drag him into a pact. And if it requires creating an illusion of a good relationship, you can manage that much. That actually reminded you of something…

“By the way, I heard that you and Solomon are bound by a pact. I can see more similarities now: you both seem to be very hardworking,” you try to change the topic of the conversation. Maybe you can get some useful information. “How did you two meet each other?”   

“That was very long ago. Solomon, he… You know what? It doesn’t matter. Many years have passed since then. I think that we are on rather friendly terms right now, maybe even real friends. I’m actually the demon who is meant to look after him while he is in the Devildom, like Mammon is for you. But, of course, he doesn’t really need my help. I just organized a little tour when he first arrived, showed him around. Luckily, I don’t have to babysit him.” Asmo smiles while talking about Solomon, but there is definitely something that he doesn’t want to mention. You guess that something happened between them long ago, and Asmo can’t quite get over it. Very intriguing.

Your conversation is suddenly interrupted by bright flashes of light, right in your face. These flashes made you disoriented for a couple of seconds. If it was some kind of attack, you would be dead by now. Luckily for you, the demons that surrounded your table have no intention to attack you. At least, not in the sense you’re used to.

“Paparazzi,” Asmo gives you an apologetic smile, then turns to cameras and starts smiling more brightly, making the perfect face for tabloids. “Yes, yes, it’s your lovely Asmo here. Take as many photos as you want, darlings!”

You don’t feel comfortable in the slightest, but you can’t even escape: there are so many journalists around your table that you can’t see even the tiniest gap between them. Flashes don’t stop even for a second, so you have to cover your eyes to at least see something. That’s what your personal hell must feel like.

Asmo is too invested in making the right pose to notice how uncomfortable you are. You would prefer to avoid attacking paparazzi, but your patience is fading fast. You can bear all this for only a minute or so.

Some kind of journalist with long hair breaks through a crowd of photographers and starts interviewing Asmo.

“Asmo, how wonderful to meet you here! Mind if I ask you a couple of questions?” She smiles widely, showing her shark teeth. She doesn’t give Asmo a chance to refuse and starts firing her questions right away: “Your fans are very curious to know: are you and that human on a date?”

“Oh, honey, no, we just stopped to have a bite to eat. I’m as heart-free as always, so, my dear fans, don’t you worry. Your lovely Asmo is still yours, forever!” Asmodeus shines so brightly that it’s almost even more obnoxious than all the flashes from cameras. Your head starts to hurt.

“I’m sure that your fans will be relieved to hear that.” The journalist shows her teeth once again. “But even though it isn’t a date, everybody is still worried about you, Asmo. Such company doesn’t seem suitable for you at all.”

“…Excuse me?” Asmo’s smile slowly disappears. The cameras around you start clicking even faster, trying to capture every detail on his face.

“I’m sure you heard about yesterday’s scandal that happened in RAD. The terrifying photos and videos are all over the internet. Four students were brutally assaulted. Currently, all of them are unconscious, and it’s hard to predict when they will return to normal life…”

“It was self-defense!” Asmo protests, but the journalist ignores him. She doesn’t want answers, she needs a reaction. And she gets it plenty.

“Some witnesses also mention that it was you who saved the human. A lot of fans wonder: why did you save him, and not any of your fellow demons?”

“I…” but Asmo is once again interrupted.

“What do you think about the exchange program after that incident? Was it a mistake? Is there a chance to make peace between a wolf and a sheep? Would it be better if the exchange program was cancelled? Do you believe that humans and angels should stay in their own worlds? To maintain the balance and avoid possible conflicts.” She fires these questions like a Gatling gun, it’s almost impressive.

You decide that the best way is to stay silent. It’s impossible for you to win this word duel, you’re only going to make things worse if you interfere. Asmo was in this game long before you were even born, so you let him handle this.

“My dear…” Asmo says menacingly, making the journalist shut up. “You’re from Spicy News, aren’t you? Should’ve guessed from the start. I can’t believe that you got so ahead of yourself that you dared to ask these kinds of questions aloud. Do you want to be convicted of treason? You really dare to criticize Lord Diavolo’s decisions?” He turns around, facing the rest of the paparazzi. “Listen up! If I find a single photo or a single sentence about today’s meeting, I’ll personally take care of your carrier.” He turns back to the journalist with shark teeth: “And you, honey, tell your bosses that they are going too far. This human and the rest of the exchange students are under the protection of the Seven Rulers and Lord Diavolo himself. So if you and your whole company don’t want to end up in jail, you better stop discrediting the exchange program. Now, leave us alone, this instant!”  

And they are gone in the blink of an eye. Asmo almost falls back on his chair, looking exhausted.

“Well,” you finally speak up, “this was intense.” 

“That’s just how paparazzi are, my dear.” Asmo turns to you, trying to look more energetic. “But Spicy News… They are the worst. 70% of their texts are about my brothers and me, and, as you might’ve guessed, they don’t like us very much. But such an open critique of the exchange program… That’s something new.” The demon frowns.

“You think that they wouldn’t be so brave if someone powerful didn’t cover their backs?” you assume. Politics are all the same, whether it’s the Human world, or the Devildom.

“I’ve been suspecting for a while now that their newspaper is not as simple as it seems. But Lord Diavolo doesn’t want to initiate an investigation. He believes that the freedom of the press is important, and that we can’t take any legal actions just because they criticize us,” Asmo sighs.

“He does have a point. Other newspapers and magazines won’t be happy if you do anything to Spicy News without any solid proof.”

“But we can’t just sit here and let them write about us whatever they want! Especially about you!” Asmo exclaims, this encounter with the journalists didn’t leave him unaffected. “Did you hear what she said?! 'Four students were brutally assaulted'! When there are tons of proofs that you were just defending yourself! And the worst part is: somebody will believe them! They have quite a lot of readers. This newspaper unites everybody who doesn’t like us, Lord Diavolo, the exchange program… And let me tell you, there are a lot of such people.”

“Yeah, I imagine not everybody supports Diavolo’s dream about straightening relationships between three worlds. His decision might’ve caused a lot of debates.”

“Yes, even B… No, doesn’t matter.” Asmo stops himself, before saying anything else. There is something sad in his expression. This demon is not as open as Mammon or Beel. You’ll have to gain his trust if you want to learn any information. You aren’t even sure that the info he is hiding has any use to you. But you still need his trust for the pact. And you kind of want to take revenge on Spicy News for attempting to smear you. Shit, what are you getting yourself into?

“And what if we organize a not-so-legal investigation?” you offer.

“What exactly do you mean?” Asmo stops sipping his coffee and looks at you curiously.

“Well, for example, we could get into the main office, look through their documents and other data. Learn where their funds are coming from…” Obviously, it can’t be as easy as it sounds. But there is something thrilling about breaking into someone’s office and stealing important info. Like a super agent. Your inner child is overjoyed.

“That… actually might work! I know where their office is, if we go there in the middle of the night… Maybe we will achieve something!” Asmo is also excited to do something like that. Of course, you don’t have any plan, don’t know where or what to search for, and there can be a grand scandal if you get caught… But you were never reasonable to begin with, so why start now? And you’re dragging Asmo along with you. Doing stupid shit in company always feels more fun.

It’s already time to go to the Academy, so you decide to gather in Asmo’s room in the evening to make the last preparations. It was mutually decided that you shouldn’t tell anybody about this plan, you can’t risk and let Lucifer know what you’re plotting.

In the Academy you instantly get surrounded by Mammon, Beel and Levi. Because of what happened yesterday, they act too overprotective. But you think about today’s operation too much to care about their behavior right now. Only the appearance of Simeon makes you return to the real world. To be fair, Luke is also here, but you can focus only on Simeon.

“Hey there, you four,” the angel greets you with a warm smile. You enthusiastically greet him back. Damn, this man is too ideal for words. “We just stopped by to invite you somewhere. We’re actually planning to go on a camping trip soon, you see. We thought it would be a good way to have fun and get to know each other better. And we’d love it if you’d all join us.”

“Wha?” Mammon doesn’t seem impressed. “Ugh, so it’s another one of your lame ideas. You always do this… Listen, for starters, camping is a total drag. Isn’t that right, Beel?”

“Hmm, camping… That would mean cooking out… Ooh, and roasting marshmallows… I’m in!” Beel happily smiles. He is very easy to persuade.

Mammon sighs: “Ya see, this is your problem, Beel. You’ve gotta quit lettin’ your stomach make decisions for ya.” He turns to Levi: “C’mon, you’re gonna back me up, right?”

“Yeah, I agree with Mammon on that. The nature is cruel to shut-ins like me…” he responds without moving his gaze from his phone. “I’ll pass.”

“All right!” Mammon is happy that someone agrees with him. “So, what ya think about this campin’ thing, Cas?”

“Sounds like fun, actually,” you shrug. You’re pretty neutral about this whole idea, but you can’t possibly miss out on quality time with Simeon.

“I was afraid you’d say that.” Mammon stares at you disapprovingly. “So we’ve got another fan of campin’ here, huh? Just bein’ around people like ya is a drag.”

“Good thing that nobody forces you to go with us, Mon. Your whining would only spoil the mood,” you grin at him.

“HEY! How dare ya?!”

“Anyway,” Simeon interrupts your banter. “Just keep in mind that we’re going camping, and you’re invited.”

“Sure, Simeon. Thank you for inviting us,” you smile at the angel.

Simeon and Luke both go away. Luke was strangely silent the whole time, maybe something happened? But you have no time to worry about the little angel. You’ve got another heist on the way.

The evening comes extremely fast. You kept yourself busy with homework, playing games with Levi (he wiped the floor with you) and visiting Cerberus. Your bond with this hellish dog grows stronger every day. After spending so much time around him, you now understand that all three heads have one personality. You wonder how it would feel to control three heads simultaneously. Must be much harder than controlling several limbs.

But today you learn something new about him. The wind in the basement is rather chilly today, you try to get warmth by leaning on Cerberus’ side and hiding among his fluffy fur. The dog notices your restlessness. You feel a sudden warmth that’s coming from within Cerberus’ body.

“What are you doing, big boy?” you ask him with a smile. The beast turns his heads to you, and you notice a yellow light in the area of his necks and chest. “Wait, what’s that? Don’t tell me you can spit fire or something.”

Cerberus carefully gets up, taking the warmth with him. He marches to the other side of the room and stops in front of a wall. You see how the light within him gets brighter as dark smoke escapes his mouths. One head opens its mouth and spits a huge amount of fire on the wall. It melts instantly. It's good that it didn’t lead anywhere, it just separated one section of the chamber from the other.

“Wow!” You cheer on the demonic dog. “Cerbie, I didn’t know you could do that! So cool!”

Cerberus seems happy to get so much praise. He drops on his back, showing his giant belly. You have to jump on him to ruffle his stomach. The dog raises the temperature within him once again, so you feel warm and cozy while you’re playing with him. You seriously need to consider stealing him once it's time to return home. And you don’t care how crazy it sounds.

But now it’s time to go to Asmo. You think you know where his room should be. The only two bedrooms you didn’t visit yet were Satan’s and Asmo’s. You knock on an elegant door with decorations in the shape of flowers. Yeah, you doubt that it’s Satan’s door. The entrance opens by itself, so you come in.

Holy shit, that’s a lot of pink roses. They cover all the furniture, which is also either pink or violet. The room is definitely… Asmo’s style. It’s actually beautiful, but you need some time to get used to it. The bed is simply enormous, it’s the biggest one you’ve seen so far. Well, it makes sense that the Avatar of Lust needs a big bed for all the… activities he might want to organize here. Though, with Lucifer under the same roof you doubt that the eldest would allow any orgies in this house.

Asmo is sitting on the bed, surrounded by an insane amount of beauty products.

“Asmo, we are going on a heist, not a fashion show. What do you need all that for?”

“Tiel, I have an amazing idea!” he chirps at you with excitement. “We need to disguise ourselves! If we get caught on cameras or meet someone in the building, it’s important they don’t know who we are!”

“You know… It’s actually not a bad idea.” Asmo’s excitement gets to you as well. With all these makeup thingies you can create an amazing disguise. “So, as a makeup pro, what are your suggestions?”

“Oh, I want it to be a surprise, darling. Come on, get in that chair.” He points in the direction of a chair that stands near his vanity. You obediently sit there. “Don’t worry, honey, you’re in safe hands. I’ll make you unrecognizable, but also won’t spoil your beauty.”

“All right then, show me what you’re capable of,” you smirk. Make-up is not something completely unknown to you. Some of your performances required not only your skill in dancing but also suitable clothes and makeup. So you don’t mind letting Asmo work on your face, it can be fun.

The demon is careful and gentle, but also quick and professional. He gives his attention not only to your face but to your hair as well. Asmo pours something on it that makes your hair completely change color. Now it's crazy bright green.

“Are you sure that’s the color you want to use? Doesn’t it stand out too much?” you ask, inspecting your hair. Asmo doesn’t let you look in the mirror just yet, but the length of your hair allows you to notice the changes in color. You need to get a haircut, you think.

“That’s exactly why I chose this dye. If somebody sees you, they will mostly notice the bright color of your hair and won’t pay much attention to your face. In theory.” Asmo assures you.

“In theory, huh. Fine, you’re the make-up artist here, not me.” You decide not to think too much and relax. The demon now works on your hairstyle, completely changing the way your hair looks. That’s exactly what you need.

When you finally look in the mirror, you can't help but admire Asmo’s work. Your hair draws all the attention, sure, but the giant red scar that crosses your face is just as distracting. It looks like the real thing, you’re impressed. But when you focus on the rest of your face, you can’t recognize yourself. Asmo drew new shadows and accented the lines of your face, making your features look sharper and rougher. Only people who know you well would recognize you in this disguise.

“So, what do you think?” Asmo smirks. He clearly sees how impressed you are, but he wants to hear your praises.

“It’s incredible, Asmo. You’re a real master,” you don’t mind to compliment such an amazing work.  

“Thank you, dear. Now get up, it’s time for me to change my face. It’s so fun, I should do it more often!” Asmo is full of energy, he jumps in the chair the second you get up and starts working immediately. “Now, go to my closet and find a costume I prepared for you. And don’t come out until I call you. I want you to see me only when I finish the preparations."

“You want me to sit in your closet for… Oh…” You start to complain while opening Asmo’s closet, but immediately stop once you see what’s inside. That’s a whole other room out there, a gigantic one. It would take hours to inspect everything inside, so you just go in.

It takes you some time to find your costume in the maze of wardrobes. There is a special area for rest with couches, armchairs, and a coffee table. There is also another area for makeup. That’s crazy how much stuff Asmo has.

You find the costume on one of the couches. It’s plain black, there is nothing unusual about it, but the fabric looks trustworthy and the boots are ideal for running. There are also gloves and a backpack, suitable for carrying anything you’ll find in the office. Asmo prepared well. You change your clothes and gaze in the mirror. You look like a stereotypical robber, Asmo’s makeup made you look like a real criminal scum. But a sexy one.  

“You can come out!” you hear Asmo’s shout. Wow, that was fast. You get out of the closet to witness the demon’s new face. And start laughing hysterically.

Asmo now has a short beard and curled mustache. His hair is slicked back, he changed the color to dark brown. The demon drew a lot of wrinkles on his face and added bags under his eyes, making himself look much older. He wears the same costume as you.

“Asmo, it’s brilliant,” you compliment him once you manage to stop laughing.

“Thanks, I know,” Asmodeus smiles, twirling his fake mustache.

Once the preparations are done, you both sneak out of the house. It’s already rather late, so everybody should be in their rooms. You write a short message to Beel saying that you’re okay and he shouldn’t worry. Otherwise, Beel might go to Lucifer and tell him that you’re gone. He replies to you with nice and short “OK”.

The red car Asmo rented is still standing near the house. You both hop in and start your journey. The office is situated almost on the other side of the city, so it’s a long ride. You park nearby, but far enough not to be detected by the security cameras on the building. Spicy News is located in a giant skyscraper. It was easy to break into the club using the window on the second floor. But this is on a much grander scale. It doesn’t look possible to use windows to get inside unless you smash them.

While you were preoccupied with observing the building, Asmo already started walking toward the main entrance.

“Hey! The hell do you think you’re doing?!” You stop him by grabbing his arm.

“Entering the building, obviously,” the demon grins at you. “Relax, we have a great disguise, so we shouldn’t worry about the cameras. And nobody will stop us from using the entrance. Watch and learn.” He shakes off your hand and keeps walking. You have no choice but to follow him.

There is one security guard inside, he is sitting near the entrance. He looks bored and sleepy, but instantly jumps on his feet once he sees you. But he has no time to do anything: Asmo immediately uses his power and orders to close his eyes and sit back on a chair. The guard silently obeys.

“See? That easy. And he won’t even remember anything that happened.”

“But I remember everything that happened when you used your power on me,” you protest.

“It depends on how much power I use. If I want to control all the actions of my target, I have to spend a lot of magic on that. And as a result, they forget everything. But with you I… I charmed you, but you still could do whatever you wanted to me. I didn’t control every single move.” Asmo doesn’t like talking with you about what happened, you can see how guilty he feels. While listening to his explanation, you notice that you are no longer as furious as you were before.

“Okay, let’s go. We don’t have the luxury to just stand here talking.” You march toward the elevator. “Do you know where the CEO’s office can be?”

“At the very top? I assume that’s how it usually is.”

“Let’s try it out.” You press the button, and the elevator starts moving upward.

Asmo’s wild guess worked, you indeed got on the right floor. You quickly find the right door, but it's locked. You start looking around, searching for something that could help you with a lock.

“Aren’t demons supposed to be very strong? Can’t you just tear out the door?” you suggest.

“Do I look like Beel to you? I can easily lift you, but I can’t break down this door. Look at it! It’s impenetrable!” You have to admit: the door looks tough, it’s made out of some kind of metal. You are about to suggest flying out of the building and breaking in through the window when you suddenly hear:

“HEY! Who’s there? Don’t you dare to move!”

It seems that there is another security guard. He was patrolling the building when he heard the commotion that led straight to you and Asmo. But luckily, you have a powerful demon on your side: it doesn’t take much to charm this guard as well.

You approach the man and start checking his pockets. You find a bunch of keys and toss them to Asmo. He catches them and starts using each one on the door, trying to open it. Meanwhile, you look around once more, hoping to find some kind of rope to tie up the guy. Charms are good and all, but it would be best to be extra careful. But there is nothing useful, so you have to leave the security guard free.

Asmo finally finds the right key, so you can come in. As soon as you’re inside, you split up: Asmo starts checking all the physical documents, and you go to the computer. Of course, there is a password, but you don’t really care. All you need is the hard drive. After opening the computer case, you quickly locate the hard drive and pull it out. All the documents should be on it.

“I can’t find anything useful,” Asmo complains. “Did you get it?”

“Yes. Let’s hope that there is something valuable on it.”

You leave the building the same way you entered it. But just as you’re about to get in the car, Asmo stops and hisses in pain.

“Asmo? What’s wrong?” You approach him, examining his body, but you don’t see any wounds.

“It’s hard to fully control two people at the same time for longer than several minutes.” The demon’s face twists. “Just a headache, let’s go…”

BANG!

The bullet flies right above your head.

BANG! BANG!

You grab Asmo by the hand and pull him to the ground, hiding behind the car. Two security guards came to their senses the same moment Asmo’s headache started, and now they are both running in your direction.

“Damn, I didn’t notice how I lost control over them,” Asmo frowns.

“We need to get in the car! Keep your head low and crawl inside,” you command and quickly enter in the car. Gunshots keep coming, several bullets left holes in the vehicle. You can only hope that they won’t manage to damage the wheels, otherwise you’re doomed. Asmo doesn’t look capable of charming them again. You start the car and drive away as fast as you can.

“I don’t understand,” Asmo says. “How did they realize what happened so quickly? They should’ve lost their memory!”

“The second one must’ve seen that the CEO’s office was open and immediately alerted the first one. We forgot to close the door. That would buy us much more time. Shit! I can’t believe I forgot such a simple thing!” You angrily punch the wheel.

“What’s done is done. Let’s hope that they didn’t see the license plate, otherwise… TIEL! IT’S THEM!” Asmo suddenly screams, looking behind. A black car is chasing you, both security guards are inside.

“I think at this point they remembered the number of the car for sure,” you calmly say, attempting not to panic.

“We need to get away from them! Drive faster!” Asmo keeps yelling, he has completely lost his cool.

“I drive as fast as I can!”

“It’s not enough!..”

BANG!

The guards got close enough to you to start shooting again. Thankfully, it’s very late, so there are almost no people around, otherwise, there would be panic. But you can’t just drive around the city dodging the bullets; somebody will for sure call the police. You don’t want to imagine what can happen if you get arrested. Most likely, Lucifer will skin you alive for being such a disgrace of an exchange student.

“I’ll try to charm the driver!” Asmo starts climbing out of the window.

“Stop, it’s too dangerous! Are you trying to get shot?!”

“SHUT UP AND DRIVE!”

BANG! BANG!

Bullets just barely miss Asmo’s head, you manage to shift the car, wiggling it left and right on the road.

“STOP SHAKING THE CAR! I CAN’T CONCENTRATE!” The demon keeps yelling at you, half of his body is out of the window.

“I’m trying to not get you killed, you fucking moron!” you reply, doing your best to stay calm.

“I got him!” You hear Asmo celebrating. But the car behind you doesn’t stop. If anything, they start driving faster. “SHIT! I CAN’T HIT HIM HARD ENOUGH TO PUT HIM UNDER THE COMPLETE CONTROL!”

“So you are telling me…” You start to giggle nervously. “That he started driving faster because he wants to fuck you now?!”

“At least he stopped shooting!” Asmo offers an excuse, climbing back into the car.

BANG! BANG!

“Ahaha! He may have stopped shooting YOU, but I’m still his target! Because I’m the reason he can’t fuck you,” you start laughing, you completely lost it.

The security guards almost caught up. One more minute, and they will crush right into you from behind. It’s important to concentrate and think what you can do in this situation. Asmo once again hisses from pain, you can’t count on his power anymore.

You drove almost across the whole city, so you start to recognize the surroundings. It’s the street right near the river, the lava river…

…

“Asmo, I have the idea, but you won’t like it.”

“Whatever! Do whatever you want, just make them disappear!” The demon screams, nervously looking at the pursuers.

“Okay, so, I’ll toss our car into lava, and since the guard behind the wheel can’t think straight, I hope…”

“YOU WHAT?!” This was the loudest Asmo’s scream so far. “YOU CAN’T! IT’S RENTAL! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH I’LL HAVE TO PAY FOR IT?!”

“Asmo! We can’t just drive away from them! They saw our car! We have to kill them! If you have any suggestions, come on, don’t be shy!”

BANG! BANG!

“Why did I listen to you?” Asmo starts whining, “I could be at home, happily sleeping…”

“Asmo, come on, I need you here! Do you agree to this plan or not?”

“But how we’ll get out of the car?!”

“That’s the neat part: you’ll get us out, with your wings! Just before we dive into the river, you will snatch me and then fly out of the door at full speed!”

“ARE YOU INSANE? You think I’m capable of such a stunt?! Oooooh, we’re gonna die…” Asmo starts whining again.

“Asmo, stop it! There is no other way out! We either die from bullets, or get away and then end up in jail. I can’t take on two guys with guns! If you can, be my guest!”

“FINE! Fine, you won. Dive into the lava, come on, I’ll get us out, sure! No problem! A piece of cake!”

“That’s the spirit!” you smirk, but you’re actually on the verge of shitting your pants. Diving into the lava is scary, to say the least. But the scariest part is to believe in Asmo. He can easily fly out of the car by himself if he decides not to waste precious seconds on you. But you have no choice. He saved you once. And you have to hope that he’ll do it again.

You check if the backpack with the hard drive is still on your back. Then, take off the seatbelt. Asmo does the same thing and takes his demon form. You drive on the road that leads to the river. The road goes straight, ending with a turn to the left and to the right. But if you don’t turn, you’ll crush into a little fence and then dive straight into the lava.

Asmo knocks out the door on his side with his legs. Thank God you have a rather strong creature in the car with you. The mechanisms that lock the doors while driving wouldn’t allow any regular human to open the door. You and Asmo stay silent, waiting for the right moment to jump out. The security guards are still on your tail, driving as crazy as before. Three seconds, two, one…

“ASMO, NOW!” you yell once there are only a few yards left. The demon hugs you tightly, jumps out of the car and instantly starts waving his wings. You both fly high in the air, observing how your red car drowns in the lava. The black car with two guards dives right after it. You see their panicking faces and hear horrible screams. The next moment they’re completely gone.

You let yourselves catch a breath and then slowly fly home. Asmo flies straight into his room through the window, landing on the bed. You’re both laying there, trying to calm down.

“I hope it was worth it,” Asmo sighs.

“I’ll ask Levi to look through the data tomorrow. Holy shit, I’m so tired. I’ll sleep here, hope you don’t mind…” you mumble, closing your eyes.

“No, you can’t, we need to wash off the makeup first. And take a bath,” Asmo protests quietly, he’s just as tired as you are. His fake mustache is barely attached to his face, and the hair is all messy. You're pretty certain that you look just as rough.

“Sorry, don’t care about all this right now,” you reply, already half asleep. Asmo sighs and gets out of bed. You feel his hands on your face, he uses some kind of liquid to remove all the makeup. You hear the sounds that imply him doing the same with his face.

He doesn’t go to the bathroom, lying down next to you instead. You hug him tightly, you have no problem doing that anymore. The dude saved you twice. He hugs you in return, and you both fall asleep.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Can't you see that something has to change before it's too late
Or you'll suffer the wrath of the storm that you create
It's not up to fate
The choice is yours to make

So don't you run and hide
Inside yourself you will find
The will, the way
To see through all this rain
When all hell breaks loose here
You'll know what to fear
The churning waters
Will not show you the mercy, I will

Hollow Point Heroes - Calm Before the Storm

Blood in your mouth. Horrible screams. Heat from lava. And pain. It’s not real, but it feels like one. Your dreams are infected with memories, the ones you wish you could forget. Your body becomes restless. You want to get out, but you’re stuck. Invisible hands hold you down, pinning to the floor. Something tears your body and mind apart. But you wait for the fire. It always appears in the end. It brings you a lot of pain, but also freedom. Just need to hold on until the fire appears. Or create it yourself…

“Shh, my dearest, it’s okay, I’m here. Sorry for leaving you alone.” Gentle hands embrace your tired body, bringing relief to your mind. You desperately cling to the source of warmth, and won’t let go ever again. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll protect you.” Something caresses your hair, you feel light kisses on your cheeks, forehead, nose… But not lips. You let out a quiet, dissatisfied whimper. “What’s that? My beloved wants a kiss?” You hear a soft chuckle. “Sorry, no can do. But if you still want it when you wake up, I will kiss you as much as you want. For all eternity…” Soulful whispers relax you and force to return to your dream. But it’s peaceful this time, happy, and full of pink roses…

***

It’s the calmest morning so far. You and Asmo wake up in each other's arms. It doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable; on the contrary, it seems right to hold him next to you like that. Several close calls made you change your perspective on Asmo. You can’t find the strength to keep being angry at him. Yet, it doesn’t sit right with you to forgive him that quickly. A little part of you is dissatisfied with such an outcome. But it’s already done, and you don’t think that you’re making a mistake.

Asmo leaves the bed once he notices that you woke up. The demon brings an elegant bottle and starts pouring the liquid from it on your head, making green dye disappear from your hair. You’re still sitting in bed, so you try not to move to avoid staining the fabric beneath you. But Asmo doesn’t seem to care: even if you ruin his bedsheet, he won’t mind. The demon just wants you to stay in his bed longer.

Neither of you speak the whole time, just a sleepy, comfortable silence surrounds you this morning. But as you’re about to leave, Asmo finally speaks up:

“Let’s take a bath,” he smiles at you brightly. “I have a wonderful bathtub, a lot better than the common bath. I guarantee that you’ll regret it if you refuse.”

“Together?” you specify, thinking about your options. Will it be smart to think with your dick in this situation? You won’t believe for a second that Asmo wants to get you in his bath for purely platonic and innocent purposes. But… the demon is hot. And he is the fucking Avatar of Lust, you can’t deny that this title makes you curious about his abilities in sex.

And you need a pact. Sex with Asmo can make it easier for you to drag him into this magical bonding. It’s really handy to have a mission to save your home world. You can justify any stupid decision you’re making because it’s all technically for the sake of the pact.

“Yes, I would like to take a bath as well. With you.” Asmo replies, grinning cheekily. You only now realize that he already changed his clothes: the demon wears only a short pink robe. The same he wore when he first attempted to seduce you. It’s even opened on his chest in the same manner, barely covering his nipples.

Asmo does his best to look confident, but it’s clear that he is nervous about your possible reaction to his offer. You may not know each other for too long, but your relationship, so far, was like a roller-coaster. One day you try to kill each other, the second he saves you, and, before you know it, you’re sleeping in each other’s arms. The Devildom’s weather definitely makes an impact on your brain capabilities: you usually avoid such drama-packed relationships to your best ability. But it’s too late to panic when you’re already in the middle of a storm, isn’t it? Just relax and enjoy the wild ride. It’ll certainly be to die for.

“Sure.” You finally make up your mind and follow the demon to the bathroom. Asmo didn’t lie: it’s one hell of a bath. Maybe if the Avatar of Lust finds your performance satisfactory, you may receive the permission to use this bathroom instead of a common one.

The bath is already full; rose petals float on hot water. Steam fills the room, making it hard for you to see Asmo’s naked body when he takes off his robe and tosses it on the ground. With that much steam, you're kind of nervous about the temperature of the water. Demons are supposed to be more resistant to fire and boiling water, but you’re for sure not. But as soon as Asmo dives into the bathtub, the steam slowly disappears. Now the demon waits for a show, looking smug and sly.

So the whole steam thing was just for teasing, huh? And, of course, Asmo won’t give you the luxury of undressing in privacy. You don’t mind, though; you were never ashamed of your body. Maybe it’s not as impressive as Beel’s or Diavolo’s, but regular exercising and dancing made you rather attractive in the abs department. You quickly take off the black costume and jump into the bathtub.

“Ooh,” Asmo slightly whines, “It was too quick, I didn’t even see the most interesting parts.”

You approach the demon, now you both lean on the edge of the bathtub, settled next to each other:

“Why do you need to watch if you can just touch?” you smirk, taking some kind of shower gel and pouring it on yourself. “If you want a real show, I can consider dancing for you sometime.”

“What an excellent idea,” the demon replies, attentively observing the traces of gel on your torso. “Let me help you with your hair. I removed the dye, but we need to use some shampoo to wash off everything.” Asmo gets up and sits on the edge of the tub, his left thigh is now next to your face. The demon crosses his legs to hide his delicate parts from your hungry glances. But you don’t mind: the thighs, covered in soap and slightly pink from all the heat, are just as attractive.

Asmo chooses a blue bottle among hundreds of others, and pours shampoo on his hands. He moves closer to you and starts massaging your head, applying the liquid to your hair. It feels very nice. You even forget about the presence of a hot, naked guy near you, immersing yourself in pleasant sensations from the massage.

Asmo tosses one leg on the other side of your head: you are now surrounded by his thighs, his hips are right behind you. The demon leans closer, moving his hands from your hair to the shoulders, continuing the massage. You also want to take part, so you lift your hands and start to caress Asmo’s legs. You try your best to imitate a massage, hoping to relax his muscles a little bit. Judging from the satisfied noises you hear from above your head, Asmo likes what you’re doing. 

The demon asks you to close your eyes and pours a stream of water on your head, washing away the shampoo. He gently strokes your hair to make sure that there is none of the liquid left. You’re about to offer your services in washing his hair as well, but Asmo interrupts you with a quiet command:

“Lift your arms for me, my dearest.”

You obediently lift them, not quite sure why. Asmo’s legs immediately slide beneath them, he shifts his body and now sits much closer and lower. The demon hugs you with his whole body from behind, with his hands on your shoulders and legs around your torso. All his limbs move synchronously, rubbing against your body, making your head spin from all the sensations. Asmo’s moves are not intense or persistent, he still teases you, continuing his massage. But he does it so professionally that you impatiently wait for something more than that.

You could easily take matters into your hands: turn around and drop Asmo on his back; finally enter inside, you’re sure that his body will accept you easily. Yet, you decide to wait. You can always take the initiative if you wish, but Asmo’s gentle movements make you want to bask in these sensations longer.

Asmo’s legs slide lower, his feet have now reached your hips. His hands also move downward, stopping on your chest. He starts with light circular motions, both on your chest and hips. The demon still teases you, the touches are not nearly strong enough to satisfy your lust, but your body responds nevertheless. Your dick becomes harder with each soft stroke, and Asmo surely notices it.

He starts to pay more attention to your chest, slightly touching your nipples with his fingers. You let out a moan, signaling to Asmo that you like what he’s doing. Only after that does the demon start acting more persistently, massaging the nipples and squeezing your cock between his feet. He strokes your whole length, slowly at first, but quickening the pace with each moan he manages to get out of you.

Asmo hugs you so tightly that you can’t change your position. You manage to slightly caress his legs with your hands, but that’s all: the demon fully controls your body, not letting you go. There is something possessive about his actions, but this time you don’t mind. You’ve allowed him to take control, he didn’t take it from you with his power. That’s a huge difference, so you can relax and enjoy yourself. You wish you could do more than that, but if that’s how the demon wants to go about it today, so be it.

Asmo leans even closer, kissing the top of your head, temples, forehead. These are the only places he can reach from his position, but the feeling of his lips on you is satisfying anyway.

This encounter is not exactly passionate, rough, or steamy. It started like a tender massage, and it will end just like that. Asmo had the whole night to hold you close, but it’s not nearly enough. If he had his way with you, he would never let go. The memories of your wounded body still haunt his thoughts. Asmo wants to give you so much love and affection that you’ll forget that pain and violence even exist. He may not be a pure angel anymore, like Simeon, whose light you adore so much. But he still wants to do everything to bring peace to your mind and soul. In his own, demonic way.

Asmo’s motions become faster, stronger. You’re close, you breathe heavily, anticipating the peak of your pleasure. But it never comes. The demon slows down, just enough to stop you from coming. You let out an annoyed sound, but Asmo only grins at it. And squeezes his body around you even tighter, completely trapping you within his embrace.

He quickens and slows down several more times, making you more frustrated with each interruption. You try to chase your enjoyment, but Asmo consistently stops you. Your body is now too sensitive: each kiss, each touch to your nipples, each stroke of your dick makes you shiver. You would be wiggling and shaking from the sensations, but Asmo holds you as tight as ever.

The demon absorbs your every moan, every trembling of your body, all the goosebumps on your skin. And finally, after what feels like hours of torture, Asmo rubs you one last time and lets you come. It must be the most intense release you’ve ever had. You might even lose your consciousness for a couple of seconds, but the demon holds you tightly, not letting you lose your balance.

It takes you several minutes to catch your breath. Once you return to your senses, you instantly remember your duties: you can’t just come and call it quits. Sex is not finished until your partner gets as much pleasure as you.

“Asmo,” you mumble, still not quite fully recovered.

“Hm?” The demon hums, without stopping kissing your face. He still can’t reach your lips, so other areas get all the extra attention instead.

“Let me go, I want to return the favor.”

“Too late, honey. I already came,” Asmo purrs in your ear.

“Huh? When did you… Wait,” you realize something. There is a strange, sticky sensation at the back of your head. “Don’t tell me you came all over my hair?!”

“Oops,” the demon grins, amused by your reaction. “Don’t worry, it may be even good for you, more nutrients and all.”

“You better wash out everything, Asmo,” you try to sound somewhat threatening, but it’s hard to do when you’re attacked with kisses. Oh, well.

“Don’t worry, Tiel, I’ll wash you nice and thorough,” the demon chuckles.

Asmo lets you leave the bathroom only after he applies around five different products to your hair, and twice as much to the rest of your body. You've never felt so clean.

You have to borrow one of his robes to get to your room and find something to wear. You wanted to use the clothes you wore yesterday, but Asmo announced that he had already washed them. You didn’t believe him for a second: he just wanted to make you stroll around the house in his robe, that’s all.

Unfortunately, you find Beel in the bedroom, he’s sitting on a couch and munching on something. He looks relieved when he sees you. But then the demon switches to confusion once he notices the robe.

“Is that… one of Asmo’s?” he asks, observing your wet hair and a black backpack in your hands.

“Yes,” you shrug. You can’t really explain to Beel why you look like this, so why bother? You should focus on dressing up and going to Levi: the sooner you learn what’s on that hard drive, the better.

“So… Is everything good between you?” Beel keeps asking questions, it’s not like him to be so curious. But it’s understandable why he’s worried.

“Yeah, I think we’re making some progress,” you reply, retrieving some clothes from the closet. You start heading to the door, wanting to change in the common bathroom, but Beel leaves first, mumbling something about the kitchen.

It takes you a second to remember that there is no kitchen. And the demon even left some food on a couch! Something bothers the big guy, but you have no idea what exactly. You decide to pay extra attention to him.

Once all the preparations are finished, you head to Levi’s room. Luckily, he lets you in easily. There is always that phobia at the back of your mind that one day the door won’t open. And the moody demon starts yelling at you from the other side once again, making you deal with his insecurities. But so far, Levi has been rather cheerful, a total opposite of the Avatar of Envy, really. That whole headache with the quiz and pact was worth it.

“Levi, can I borrow your computer for a second?” you ask, looking around. Is that just you, or did the room get cleaner?

“What?! Of course not! Do you know how much sensitive and personal information I have on it?!” Levi hisses, lifting his eyes from some manga.

“Dude, I’m not interested in your porn, I just need to check this hard drive.” You show the piece of technology to the demon.

“Wh-! I don’t have any porn!” Levi screeches. Hm, a much calmer reaction than you expected. He’s getting used to your teasing, that’s sad. “Give me that, I’ll check it myself.” He connects the hard drive to the computer and starts opening files. “That’s a lot of data. What exactly are we looking for?”

“Something about finances. I need to know where the owner of this hard drive gets the money from.” You stand right near Levi, also inspecting the screen.

“There’s a little bit of everything, hard to find something specific… Wait, these are the documents of Spicy News?!”

“Yeah, but I’ll explain everything later. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry… You got yourself into something AGAIN, and I shouldn’t worry, yeah, right…” Levi angrily mumbles but still keeps looking for the needed file. After several minutes of intense searching, the demon finally finds the file. “Look! I think that’s it… But it’s just an abbreviation of someone’s name.”

“Or the name of a company they use to launder money and transfer it to Spicy News, hiding who is behind this all…” you say, looking at the mysterious letters.

“Cas,” Levi nervously stares at the screen. “If you want to get to the bottom of this, you better contact the professional. We can sit here for hours, but we’re not qualified to do an investigation like this.”

“Do you have someone in mind already?”

“Mephistopheles. He’s the president of the RAD Newspaper Club. He’s a noble, and his parents are the founders of the Devildom Times, the biggest media empire on the market. So he is totally OP in the journalism world. If someone can get you the info you need, it’s that guy.”

“And how am I supposed to win him over? I doubt that his aristocratic ass will help me,” you sigh. A noble, a son of wealthy, powerful parents… You already hate this guy. It’s not surprising that since you respect hardworking people so much, you hate rich boys and girls who won this life just by being born. As a person who had to bear a ton of shit in life just to afford a tiny apartment… You and this guy won’t get along.

“It’s true, he won’t help you just because. Mephisto doesn’t like humans very much. He also hates us, the former angels… But the one person who he deeply cares about is Lord Diavolo. He’s a die-hard fan of him, sometimes to an uncomfortable degree… So if you manage to convince him that it’s for the prince’s sake, he’ll do anything.” Levi disconnects the hard drive and gives it to you. “If you're going to go to Mephisto, better ask Satan for help. They have a rather good relationship, purely because they both hate Lucifer so much.” The demon lowers his head: “Sorry that I didn’t manage to help you…”

“Huh? Levi, you gave me a shit ton of useful info, and you say you didn’t help?!” You put your arm around the demon’s shoulder, dragging him closer to you. “Thank you, man.” Your hand ruffles Levi’s hair. The demon is now as red as a tomato. That’s better, you won’t allow him to develop resistance against your teasing. “Gotta go find Satan. See you later!” You say your goodbyes, heading to the door.

“Yeah, later…” You hear a quiet, shy response.

The first room you check is obviously the library, but Satan is not there. You start circling around the whole house, realizing that you can just text him only when you get to an empty music room. But as you’re about to go get your phone, you hear voices coming from the Planetarium:

“I haven’t heard anything from Belphie,” Beel sounds worried. Your conscience strikes again: poor boy, you wish you could tell him the truth.

“He’s probably been busy,” Lucifer replies. Shit, not him again. This cold, soulless voice never fails to make you sick. “The life of an exchange student is a busy one.” It takes a lot of inner strength to lie right into Beel’s puppy eyes. Lucifer’s acting is very impressive.

“Belphie was against the whole idea of the exchange program from the start,” Beel gets angry. “I know he didn’t want to go to the Human world, of all places.”

“No, I don’t imagine he did,” Lucifer neutrally agrees. Damn, what an insensitive bastard. And that’s coming from you!

“Come on, Lucifer. You have to forgive Belphie. If you insist on sending an exchange student to the Human world, I’ll go instead. So could you let Belphie come back here to the Devildom?” Beel really loves his brother. You wonder if Belphie feels the same. What sacrifices is the youngest one ready to make to return to his twin?

“No.” Lucifer responds without a second thought.

“But…”

“You understand Diavolo’s dream, don’t you?”

“…For angels, demons, and humans to recognize, accept, and respect one another. And to create a new world together…” Beel monotonously declares. It seems he has heard Diavolo’s speeches many times before.

“Exactly. And the first step toward that goal is this exchange program. But Belphegor opposed it. I will eliminate anyone who tries to stand in the way of Diavolo’s dream, no matter who they might be. Even if it’s my own brother.” Lucifer’s words cut deeper than a knife. What an absolute douchebag. And the fact that it’s all a blatant lie makes things even worse. Why the hell is he so cruel to Beel? This idiot does everything to make sure that the big fight between him and his brothers is inevitable.

Beelzebub doesn’t know what to say. You can’t see his face, but you can definitely imagine it.

“What a fucking bastard!...” You hear a voice right near you. It seems that you are so used to the sudden appearances of demons at this point that your reactions are not as expressive as they used to be. So when you notice Satan on your left, you don’t even scream, just silently twitch from an unexpected sound.

“Yeah, totally agree,” you whisper to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I met Levi, and he told me that you wanted to speak with me about something,” Satan whispers back.

“You’re much better than me at finding people. I’ve spent twenty minutes looking for you around the house.”

“Could’ve texted me,” the demon smirks.

“Yeah, I know. Now, shhh, I want to eavesdrop.”

“Me too.”

Meanwhile, Lucifer is not done with escalating the situation:

“Beel, it’s not that I don’t understand how you feel. Belphie is your twin brother, and you were especially close to him. So with that said, answer me this. Who would you choose to side with, Belphegor or me?”

…

“ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!” You and Satan both storm into the Planetarium, yelling and swearing at Lucifer. Beel is shocked to see you, while Lucifer just looks slightly annoyed.

“So you two were eavesdropping,” he sighs heavily.

“Of course we were! It’s a COMMON room, Lucy! Want to have a private talk – go to your bedroom!” You rush to Beel and stand between him and Lucifer. Satan had already taken his demon form, eyes shining with green light. He stands near you, blocking Beel as well. Poor Beelzebub is so lost that he just stands behind you in complete silence.

“I can’t believe how much of a bootlicker you are, Lucifer!” Satan growls at his brother. “You’re disgusting!”

“And what was that shit about Beel choosing between you and Belphegor?! Are you completely insane? Are you sure that you study hard enough at the Academy? Because your brains are totally rotten!” You may not know how to growl as impressive as Satan, but you sure have a lot on your mind that you want to say to Lucifer.

“SILENCE!” Lucifer snarls back, but he doesn’t take his demon form. Actually, he doesn’t even look angry. You could take your time and examine the complicated expression on his face, but you’re too pissed off to do that. Whatever thoughts bother him at the moment, he has no right to speak with Beel like that.

“FUCK YOU!” You and Satan yell back.

“Hey! What is… Damn it!” Mammon runs into the room and stands between you and Lucifer. It doesn’t take long for Levi and Asmo to appear as well. Your uproar was heard loud and clear by everybody in the House. Now the whole family (and you) shield Beel from Lucifer. Or rather they shield you and Satan, it’s hard to tell for sure at this point.

“Ugh, I have neither time nor desire to have a fight with you. Do something useful for a change, and prepare yourself for school; we’re leaving soon.” Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose and leaves the room.

“Yes, run, you coward!” Satan growls at his back.

“Okay, hon, I think it’s time for us all to relax,” Asmo tries to calm down Satan. Mammon joins him, patting Satan’s shoulder. Though, it makes the demon even more furious.

“I-I’ll go make us something to drink!” Levi exclaims and runs… somewhere. You have no idea how he will prepare anything, the kitchen is still in shambles.

Since everyone is preoccupied, you return your attention to Beel.

“Hey, are you all right, bud?” you ask, putting a hand on his arm.

“Yes…” He says, hiding his eyes. Then, Beel suddenly throws his hands around you, trapping you in a hug. You’re glad that you finally got a chance to snuggle with the big guy, but he squeezed your arms, so you can’t hug him back. You wish you could. “Thank you…” he whispers.

“Don’t mention it,” you smile. Apparently, the sight of you two hugging has a calming effect on everyone. Satan hides his horns and tail, Asmo and Mammon relax, and Levi returns with six glasses of water. You all drink in silence, having no energy to discuss what just happened. Or maybe nobody wants to accidentally fire up Satan once again.

One by one, everyone returns to their rooms, leaving only you and Satan. On his way out, Asmo whispers to you that he will be absent today since he needs to resolve everything with the agency he rented a car from. But he allowed you to proceed with the investigation on your own if you had any bright ideas.

And finally, when everyone is gone, you can ask Satan for help.

“So, what did you want to discuss with me?” Satan asks curiously with a kind smile. It’s hard to believe that he was out of control several minutes ago.

“Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t really tell you that much. Right now I need to talk with Mephistopheles and ask him for a favor. I heard that you’re on rather friendly terms with him. So, I would be immensely grateful if you helped me contact him.”

“Wow, how polite of you. I almost can’t believe that it was you who called me a scaredy-cat and broke my cup on your first day here,” Satan smiles teasingly.

“I can be polite… when I need to,” you smirk.

“And that’s very smart of you. Very well, I’ll help. You were brave enough to stand against Lucifer, I can respect that. I’ll arrange a meeting. But I don’t guarantee that he’ll actually help.”

“Yeah, I understand. Thank you, Satan,” you smile genuinely. You always liked this demon, he has an attitude rather similar to yours. Maybe you could get along, eventually.

And with that, you both go to your rooms, to prepare for the day.

***

Mephisto’s office was not something particularly unusual. A typical office of a typical clerk. But Mephistopheles himself was an interesting guy. He was rather handsome and had a striking presence, but his attitude ruined all the positive aspects of his persona. He didn’t even open his mouth yet, but his facial expressions, glances, mannerisms… You wondered if it’s possible to be more insufferable than Lucifer. Now you have your answer.

“Well, well, well… Isn’t it the human? The very human who destroyed the majestic, flawless, one-of-a-kind treasure of the Devildom – the Statue of the Future King?! How dare you appear in my office after the atrocious calamity you caused?!” He starts yelping and yapping at you, like a poodle who needs to be castrated. How is this guy better than Spicy News? Objective journalism is dead. This one may be on Diavolo’s side, but he still blames you for that fiasco. You simply can’t catch a break.

“I see you know me, that’s great. I know you as well.” You try to keep your emotions under control. You need his help after all. “You were recommended to me as a professional who is willing to set aside his personal views for the sake of the Devildom and Lord Diavolo. But if that’s not the truth, I think I’ll take my business elsewhere…” You start to slowly turn around toward the door.

“Wait!” The bait worked, Mephisto is interested. “What exactly do you want?”

“Do you know Spicy News?”

“Of course! A parody on a normal newspaper. I’m shocked how people can read this garbage!” he exclaims, wrinkling his nose.

“Exactly. The other day, they dared to openly criticize Lord Diavolo and his political decisions. Only threats of jail made them refuse to actually publish the material. For now, at least. So me and several other people, who deeply care about the future of the Devildom, managed to get our hands on some exclusive material.” You can’t believe that you manage to spill all this with a straight face. “But, unfortunately, we’re not professional journalists like yourself. Our capabilities are severely lacking, so we need your help. If you agree to initiate an investigation on our behalf, you can take all the credit. We’ll give you everything we managed to find, so you could tell people the truth about Spicy News!”

“…That’s… a surprisingly self-aware speech, coming from a human. And you want to give me all the credit, why?” Mephisto seems to be impressed by your sudden care about the Devildom and Lord Diavolo.

“We care only about justice. And since you will be the one who spreads awareness among demons, it’s only fair to give you all the credit,” you lie confidently.

Your actual purpose is to avoid legal problems. When this article is published, Spicy News will inevitably try to sue its author. You’re not in a position to get into a legal fight with a giant media corporation. Especially since you stole their valuable data and killed their two employees. Mephisto can have this headache instead of you, you’re feeling generous today. Asmo also made it clear that he just wants to take down Spicy News, you doubt that he wants to publicly take part in such a grand scandal.

“…Fine. I agree to your deal. I can’t possibly allow the smearing of Lord Diavolo’s name. This newspaper may write the truth about the misdeeds of the Seven Rulers, but it’s still an eyesore for every respectable journalist! And now they dare to criticize our Future King?! Preposterous!” Mephisto resents with a burning passion. “Show me what you’ve got!”

You give the demon the hard drive: “It’s the hard drive of the CEO of Spicy News. I think you can get a lot of valuable information from it.”

“What?! How you… Never mind. I don’t want to know. I promise to keep your identity a secret. And I swear to take down Spicy News, even if that’s the last thing I do!”

Damn, what a theatre kid. If he ever decides to change his career and become an actor, he’ll give Asmo a run for his money.

“Sure thing, pal. Glad that the Devildom has such loyal citizens. Farewell.” You wave at him and head to the door.

Finally, this crazy conversation is over. Well, you can relax for now. Mephisto will do everything instead of you. It sure is pleasant to shift the responsibility onto someone.

***

The rest of the day passes calmly. You manage to live until the evening hours in peace. But, of course, peace can’t last forever. It can’t even last a full day, unfortunately.

It all starts with a simple message from Luke:

“Can you come outside now? I’m in front of the House of Lamentation.”

That’s certainly strange. It’s already almost nighttime, and Luke always tended to avoid the brothers and demons in general. Can it be a trap? But a quick check through the window confirms that the angel is indeed here, you can clearly see his white clothes. So, you have no choice but to go outside.

The little angel looks very nervous, constantly looking around him. Yeah, the surrounding area doesn’t look very welcoming. But Luke quickly relaxes once he sees you.

“Castiel! You came, thank you!” He smiles brightly. What a cute kid.

“Hi there. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I… I want to ask for a favor. Please, let me spend the night in your room!” Luke seems really worried that you refuse.

“Does Simeon know where you are?” You can’t imagine Simeon letting Luke have a sudden slumber party with you when it’s already so late.

“No! And I want it to stay that way. Please!” The angel begs you, he really wants to stay. Something must’ve happened between those two. Oh well, better let him stay here than make him march all the way back.

“Sure thing, come in,” you say, leading Luke inside the house. You didn’t mention that your room is ruined. The angel might’ve run off if he learned that he had to sleep in one room with a demon tonight. You hope Beel won’t mind.

You enter the bedroom with Luke and close the door. Beel is also here, he exercises on the floor. But he immediately stops once he sees your guest.

“Castiel! This isn’t what I was talking about at all!” the angel exclaims angrily.

“Sorry pal, my room is kinda in shambles right now. I share the room with Beel.” You turn to Beel. “Sorry man, he just appeared at the doorstep, asking to let him stay for the night. Do you mind?”

“It’s fine. Just tell him to speak quieter, I don’t want others to hear him,” the demon replies calmly and continues his exercises. He’s doing push-ups, what a great sight. But you can’t have lewd thoughts while a kid and a literal angel is here. It just feels wrong.

“Hey! I’m here, actually! If you want me to speak quieter, tell it to me, not to Castiel!” Luke barks at Beel. “And it’s not fine, at all! I don’t want to spend the night with a demon in the same room!”

“Then I’ll just call Simeon and ask him to pick you up. How does it sound?” You offer a simple solution.

“No!... Fine, I guess I don’t have a choice…” Luke finally gives up.

“That’s more like it! Did you have dinner?”

“No…”

“I’ll go downstairs and try to find something. There must be something left after our dinner. Wait here,” you exit the room.

“Wait, I’ll go with you,” Beel gets up and approaches you. “I’m also hungry.”

“Are you sure?” You whisper to him. “Maybe we shouldn’t leave the kid alone?”

“He'll be fine, we’ll be gone for only several minutes. And if he doesn’t have someone to talk to, he'll stay quiet, right?” Beel whispers back.

“All right,” you agree and turn your attention to Luke: “We’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere and don’t make loud noises, deal? I’ll make sure to find something tasty for you.”

“Deal,” the little angel nods and starts curiously exploring the room. He’ll be fine.

You both head to the dining room and find some leftovers. Half of it Beel eats on the spot, but you manage to secure the most edible food. But when you return to the bedroom, you realize that the kid is gone.

“For fuck’s sake,” you grunt and start checking all the closets and other places where the angel may be hiding. “Luke, if you don’t come out right now, I’ll return you right to Simeon when I find you!”

“I don’t think that he’s here…” Beel puts the food on the table and joins your search.

“You think he could have left the room?”

“That’s possible, the door wasn’t locked.”

“Shit, fucking kids, I’ll never be a parent,” you let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll go search the House.”

“I’ll help.”

“It’s my mistake, you shouldn’t…”

"I’ll help,” Beel insists.

“Okay, thank you.”

But even after hours of searching, you can’t find the kid. You didn’t check any bedrooms, but if Luke was there, the brothers would for sure alert everybody. You even secretly checked the underground chamber, but you found only Cerberus, as always. You told him about the lost boy and asked not to eat him. Cerberus seemed to nod, but you weren't completely sure.

After that, you checked the attic. You moved quietly, not to alert Belphie. Luckily, he seemed to be sleeping. But there were no little angels in sight. You had to keep searching.

After several more hours, Beel drags you into bed. You still want to keep going, but your body betrays you. Beel holds you in his arms, preventing you from getting up. He doesn’t talk or try to calm you down. The demon just hugs you tightly because he knows that you need a rest.

You’re too exhausted to keep up the fight. Beel’s warmth relaxes you, and your eyes finally close.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

You never lie
And you don't cheat
And you don't have any baggage tied
To your four feet
Do I deserve
To be the one
Who will feed you breakfast, lunch, and dinner
And take you to the park at dawn
Will you really be
My only man of the hour

Norah Jones – Man of the Hour

The morning comes quicker than usual. You wake up with a throbbing headache, allegedly caused by all the stress you've experienced so far. It seems you really need a vacation to some quiet and calm place. You haven't been in the Devildom for too long, but it sure felt like five years of non-stop work. Work as a babysitter with seven kids who periodically try to kill you. Yeah, sounds about right. Granted, most of the dangerous situations were caused by your own restless ass, but that doesn’t matter. Your head tries to blow up, you’re tired and worried about the damn little angel, so you’re not in the mood to reflect on your actions.

Luckily, you have this awesome stress ball in your right hand. It’s big and plump, with a little button in the middle that you can press, pinch, squeeze…

…

It’s not a stress ball, is it?

You instantly open your eyes and stare at a perfect, bare chest right beneath your face. It was covered by a t-shirt before, but now the fabric is hiked up all the way to Beel’s chin, exposing his stomach, chest… Not "chest" even, more like boobs. How did this even happen? Did you try to strip Beel in your sleep? And, of course, while you were at it, you groped one of his tits with your right hand and started torturing it. You can even feel the demon’s heartbeat, it’s uneven and fast. Wait, fast?

Shit, Beel’s awake. Obviously he is, you squeezed his chest so hard that anyone would wake up. Your instinctive response is to just freeze in place. As long as you don’t lift your eyes and avoid meeting the violet gaze, you can pretend that nothing out of the ordinary happened. Even if your hand is still on his boob. Even if you feel his stare on your face.

Okay, you need to do this, you can’t lie here for all eternity, no matter how appealing this thought is. You make one last squeeze to give yourself more courage, and remove the hand. Then, you lift your head and look right into Beel’s eyes. So far so good, he doesn’t even look angry or offended. More like… hungry?

“Good morning,” you quietly greet him, your voice sounds deeper since you just woke up.

“Good morning,” Beel repeats after you, but his voice is totally normal. He doesn’t even look sleepy. How long has he been awake?!

“I, um… Sorry for… yeah. I have a habit to grab everything beside me when I’m asleep. Should’ve told you earlier, sorry,” you apologize awkwardly, putting your hands on the t-shirt and pulling it down. It pains to cover this incredible body, but that’s the only way to return concentration to your poor brain. Beel doesn’t stop you, but doesn’t help you either.

“Mhm,” you get a thoughtful reply. Damn, it feels nice to lie next to Beel: so comfy, so safe. But you have the feeling that you’re forgetting about something… Or someone…

“Shit! The kid!” You jump out of bed, making your head spin from pain. Beel catches you when you lose balance, putting his arms around you. Hugs between you two get more and more common. As well as your habit of waking up next to hot demons. Not that you complain.

You thank him and keep marching toward the door, despite feeling completely broken. But he stops you:

“You need to go to the bathroom and have breakfast first.”

“I’m fine! And Luke can be anywhere, he might as well be already dead! I can’t just go and stuff my face with food like nothing happened!” You stubbornly shake your head and continue to go toward the door. But the demon holds you too tight. “Beel, let go!”

“You won’t help him if you collapse from exhaustion. You slept for only three hours, it’s not enough for humans. Go and at least eat something, I’ll continue searching,” Beel insists, it’s hard to argue with him when he's already made up his mind on something.

“Ugh, Beel, you’re so annoying sometimes…”

“Annoying?..” The demon hits you with his sad eyes again. This technique is too overpowered.

“No, sorry, you’re not annoying. I’m just too irritated right now, don’t take anything I say personally.” You feel obligated to apologize. This demon has you wrapped around his finger.

“I’ll forgive you if you have your breakfast.”

“Fine, fine, I’m going already…” Note to yourself: never argue with Beel. He'll win anyway.

The atmosphere at the table is gruesome, but it’s still better than yesterday’s dinner. After the banter in the Planetarium, the brothers preferred to snatch some food and go to their rooms to eat there. Even Beel didn’t have much appetite. Lucifer stubbornly stayed at the table, not willing to violate the etiquette. Only thanks to this situation there were so many leftovers left that you managed to find something for Luke. But you didn’t manage to find Luke…

Today is a similar case, but everyone stayed at the table. They just ignore Lucifer altogether. Satan must’ve told everybody what Lucifer said to Beel during their argument. To be honest, it felt good to see the eldest in such a position. You have zero hope that he understood how wrong he was, he’s the Avatar of Pride, after all. But maybe this little boycott will make him act less insufferable.

“Wait, where’s Beel?” Mammon looks around, noticing the absence of the glutton. Yeah, it’s indeed suspicious. You’re still not sure that you should hide the fact that Luke is missing. It’s a serious matter, and any help can be crucial. But you decide to talk to Beel about it first, he was the one who didn’t want his brothers to learn about the angel. Maybe he has valid reasons for that.

“Beel said that he’d eat later, but didn’t tell me why. He might have a stomachache, it happens when something or someone causes a lot of stress. I don’t think that yesterday’s quarrel left him unharmed,” you lie easily. Maybe you shouldn’t portray Lucifer as such a villain in the eyes of his brothers. You’ll need to make a pact with him eventually, and you certainly don’t help your cause with your actions. But it’s too hard to resist. You’ll deal with the consequences later. Or sooner than you think.

After a quick breakfast, you rush upstairs and find Beel on the second floor.

“I checked all the bedrooms while everyone was having their breakfast. But I didn’t find him,” Beel nervously reports the situation.

“Maybe we should tell everybody? They’ll help to search.”

“No, it’s a bad idea,” Beel shakes his head. “After what happened… with Lilith, my brothers don’t like angels very much. Simeon and Luke are okay, but nobody wants to see them in our house that much, especially uninvited. Demons are… territorial. It’s hard to tell how they'll react if they learn that an angel is here somewhere.”

“You think they can harm him? I say it’s a good reason to tell them about Luke in advance. There is a high chance that somebody finds him quicker than us. It’s better if they know how he got here, to avoid overreaction.”

“It’s not that simple. If the word gets out that we’ve put an angel’s life in danger, especially one of Michael’s apprentices, the aftermath can be awful. And the more people know about it, the sooner Michael will know. There is still a chance to find him on our own, let's keep it secret,” Beel insists. He seems to fear the wrath of this Michael. Could it be that it’s somehow connected to Lilith?

“But Beel, he’s just a kid! How long do you suggest looking for him? Who knows where he is and in what condition!”

“Angels are tougher than they look, I promise. Not a lot of things in the Devildom can actually hurt them, so I still think that he’s just lost. Please, let’s keep it secret till the end of this day. If we don’t find him, we’ll alert everybody,” Beel begs you. Shit, it doesn’t feel right at all. It’ll end badly, you know it. But you can’t say no to him, even if you should.

“Fine. Only until the end of this day. Now listen: I told everyone that you have a stomachache from all the stress. You’ll stay here for the whole day, skip classes, and search every corner. I’ll go to RAD and check if Luke returned to Simeon on his own, there’s always a chance. If that’s not the case, I’ll come back as quickly as I can, and we will keep looking for him. Got it?” you command. Your headache becomes more unbearable with each minute.

“Yes,” Beel nods.

It was the fastest you’ve ever run to school. Others may suspect something already, but you don’t really care. If you don’t find the kid, you’ll have to tell them everything anyway. You rush through the corridors of RAD, looking for other exchange students. Luckily, it’s easy to spot them in the crowd. You find Simeon almost instantly, sitting on a bench and reading a book. You stop around the corner to catch your breath: it’s important to act normally and avoid alerting the angel. After expelling depressing thoughts, you put on a fake smile and approach the angel.

“Hey, Simeon! How’s it going?” you ask as cheerfully as possible. Your head is killing you.

“Well, hello, Tiel. Good to see you,” Simeon smiles kindly, as always. He doesn’t look worried, maybe Luke indeed returned home? “You look after Luke, right?” Oh, shit. “I hope he isn’t causing too much trouble. I’m sorry you had to get caught in our private squabble. I tried to stop him before he could run off, but Luke is just too quick, I’m afraid. I’d appreciate it if you could take care of him until he’s ready to come back again.”

You want to run to the nearest wall and smash your head so hard that you'd lose consciousness. And wake up only when this nightmare is over. But you can’t, you need to find Luke.

Simeon interpreted your silence as an invitation to keep talking:

“Luke can be a real handful. Did he tell you why we had an argument? He thinks that I spend too much time with demons, that I’m too friendly to them. Luke is still young and immature as angels go, and he knows little of the world. So, he tends to judge everything in life from the perspective of someone in Celestial Realm, using its logic.” Simeon smiles: “Though that’s also one of the positive things about Luke. He’s honest, genuine, and he adheres to a strict set of values that he doesn’t break.”

“Yes, I’ll agree with you on that: he’s a cool little dude. It must’ve been hard to get him into this exchange program, given how much he dislikes demons.” You enjoy seeing Simeon talk about Luke so fondly. The angel looks like a proud mentor or a parent. Simeon understands all the positive and negative aspects of Luke’s character, which makes you believe that he’ll help his apprentice become an awesome angel.

If you manage to find him, that is. Fuck, you really have no time for these friendly talks, but you have no idea how to shut up Simeon without offending him.

“Haha, Luke was so depressed when we were chosen for the exchange program, it was really hard for him. But personally, I thought that studying in the Devildom would be a good opportunity for Luke. It’s a great chance to expand his perspective by meeting both demons and humans.” Simeon could go on and on about his little apprentice, but you are saved by the bell. “Oh, it seems it’s time to go. Tiel, if you find yourself unable to put up with him anymore, go ahead and kick him out. I’m sure he’ll come back to me if he has no place else to go.”

“Don’t worry, Luke is a good kid. I’ve got this, no problems at all,” you lie so badly, that you’re surprised how Simeon didn’t call you out yet. But the angel trusts you. And that’s the most heartbreaking part.

You’ll find him. You must.

While all the students are preoccupied with getting to classrooms, you sneak toward the exit which leads to the little garden. You’ll be able to climb the fence there and leave undetected. There’s nothing left for you to do here, it’s better to go home and keep searching. But as you’re about to start climbing, a calm voice behind your back stops you.

“Castiel? Would you be so kind as to tell me why you’re not in the classroom?” Barbatos asks politely. Shit, and you thought that you might escape unnoticed. Still, it could be worse, it’s not Lucifer after all.

“Barbatos! Hi! Good to see you! You see, my head is killing me, so I think I’ll skip classes for today.” You put on a fake smile once again, trying to sound genuine.

“Did you visit Dr. Aesculapius? I can accompany you if you forgot the way to the infirmary.”

“No, I… Look, I need a favor, Barbatos. Just let me go, and then I’ll accept any punishment. Please,” you beg the demon, because you can almost hear the clock ticking.

“Hm,” Barbatos puts a hand on his chin, thinking through your offer. “Very well, I’ll let you go. But only after you spare some time for me. This way, please.” He starts marching into the building without looking at you. There is no other option but to follow him.

Barbatos leads you to a very pleasant-looking room, full of wooden furniture and blue colors. The atmosphere here is pretty serene, making you want to stay here longer in an attempt to hide from the chaotic world outside.

“It’s a common room for officers of the student council, but exchange students also have permission to be here. I assume that Mammon didn’t mention it,” he looks at you with a question in his eyes. You just shake your head, examining the cool guns hanging on the wall. “Well, now you know. Please, take a seat,” Barbatos points in the direction of a couch. Once you’re settled, he takes a tea-making kit out of the cupboard and starts preparing you a drink.

“Um, Barbatos,” you try to attract his attention back to you. “I appreciate the effort, but I really have no time for this.”

“The most important rule I learned after living for so long,” he gives you a cup of a deliciously smelling drink, “there is always time for tea. Always.” The demon attentively watches you sip from a cup.

“If that’s true, why don’t you join?” you ask, continuing to drink. That’s some great goddamn tea.

“Because this beverage is specifically for you,” he responds calmly, taking the cup out of your weak grip. You try to fight the sleepiness, but it’s impossible. This jackass drugged you. That’s what you get for being too trusty with demons; should’ve jumped the fence while he wasn’t watching.

Your body drops on the couch, and you fall asleep.

***

You usually like to take your time before waking up completely. Lazy thoughts, the chase after an already forgotten dream… But this time you instantly open your eyes and get on your feet. You remember perfectly what happened.

To your surprise, nothing changed. Same room, same Barbatos.

“What time is it?” you furiously ask the butler.

“The classes ended an hour ago.” Barbatos replies calmly. He didn’t switch positions or take a seat; the demon stands at the exact same spot where he was standing hours ago. Though the tea set is gone, so he did move at some point. What a creep.

“Why the hell did you do this?” You try to control your anger, but it’s very hard to do in this situation. “Didn’t I tell you that I have an urgent business?!”

“You did. But whatever business it was, you couldn’t properly deal with it in your state. So, I provided you with some rest. I hope it helped with your headache.”

“Wha-?! If I took a break every time I needed it, I wouldn’t manage to do shit! There are more important things in life than a simple comfort!” You growl, quickly getting up from the couch. You’re mad at Barbatos for deciding to play a wise, all-knowing demon at the worst time possible.

“It’s certainly one way to look at things. You’re no doubt correct, sometimes life makes us forget about our own problems for the sake of something more important.” Barbatos stares at you with his scary, shining eyes. You don’t think he blinked once. “But it’s not exactly the case with you. While for most people pushing their limits is something exceptional, for you it’s a habit. A very unhealthy one. I must admit, it’s very interesting to observe your actions and decisions, Castiel. You’re always running somewhere, constantly fighting something.”

“Well, maybe it’s because you dragged me into the literal Hell?!” You’re getting more annoyed by the second. “It’s easy for you to judge, fucking grandpa. Must feel nice to be the right hand of the future king and have exceptional magical powers! Try to live one day in my shoes, then open your mouth about my way of dealing with all the shitshow in my life.”

“…I’m sorry, I’ve overstepped the boundary. I’ll make sure to avoid acting like this in the future.” The demon bows. What a fucking snob. “However,” Barbatos raises his eyes to you, “I don’t regret giving you a little break, even against your will. As you mentioned yourself: you are in Hell. So you need to manage your energy and resources more carefully. You would be a champion in sprint. But unfortunately, it’s a marathon.”

“I might appreciate it more, but you chose literally the worst time for your sudden concern. Stay out of my business, I don’t need your guidance or cryptic advices.” And with that, you rush to the exit and slam the door. You've wasted enough time with this shady bastard.

Though it hurts to admit, but the headache is indeed gone. And you feel a sudden boost of energy, making you move faster and more confidently. You’ll find Luke, now you’re more certain than ever.

***

Upon arriving home, you find Beel patrolling the house.

“Hi,” you greet him, attempting to catch a breath: you were running all the way from RAD. “Sorry, something unexpected happened. I came as fast as I could. Damn, what a shitty day…”

“It’s okay. I’ve been searching everywhere but haven’t found him yet. Satan started asking questions, I told him that I’m looking for a cake that I’ve left somewhere. I hope he believed me…” Beel reports with an anxious face. He looks very tired, the demon must’ve been searching the whole day.

“Don’t worry,” you pat his shoulder. “Now it’s my turn to look for Luke. Take a break, you must be exhausted.”

“No, I’ll help,” Beel shakes his head. “If I just stayed in the room with him, nothing would’ve happened. It’s my fault.”

“It’s nobody’s fault. Shit happens, even if you try to do what’s best.” You hug the demon, gently caressing his back. Beel puts his arms around you as well. “We’ll find him. We still have time. Let’s go downstairs, I want to check the area of my bedroom and kitchen more. We didn’t pay enough attention to this zone yesterday.”

“Okay,” Beel nods and lets you out of his hug.

You take the stairs and descend to the first floor. But once you start marching toward the kitchen, the demon stops you.

“Wait!” he says, examining some kind of painting on the wall. You approach closer and take a look at it as well. It’s not a painting, it’s an old, detailed plan of the House of Lamentation. It looks so normal, and maybe it was normal before brothers started living here. Now half of the windows are portals, and most of the rooms are expanded with magic. Judging from this plan, the basement was also normal once, before it was turned into the gigantic chamber. You’ve been there many times, but you didn’t explore even half of it. “Look here.” Beel points at the map of the second floor. “This room, right next to mine and Belphie’s… It doesn’t exist.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, moving closer and inspecting the plan. There is indeed some kind of room, but it looks so small that it’s more like a storage room.

“Yes, let’s check.” Beel snatches your hand and drags you to the second floor. He was right: the room doesn’t exist. “There is nothing. It’s just a wall… Wait a second,” the demon points at some spot on the wall, “it looks like a decorative pattern, but I can make out words written here. It’s the language of angels, it says: "When the morning star dwelt in the heavens, its light shone down upon this one, sparkling brilliantly, the eighth of the eight." It’s a riddle, and I think I know the answer.”

“The eighth of the eight… Wait, is it about your sister?” You stare at the pattern, trying to see letters in it.

“Yes,” Beel smiles. “I think it’s about Lilith.”

As soon as he pronounces her name, a wooden door appears in front of you. Beel looks at you nervously, hesitating to go further. You take him by the hand and open the door.

It’s a spacious, bright bedroom, sunshine fills the whole room through the windows. Must be an illusion, you haven’t seen the sun for so long that you need a minute to adjust to a sudden light. All the furniture is covered by white fabric to protect it from dust.

“I… I know this place.” Beel looks around in shock. “It’s Lilith’s room from back up in the Celestial Realm. I’m sure of it. But what’s it doing here, in the Devildom?...”

“Someone recreated it,” you assume, slowly walking around. You try to peek outside through the windows, but the view is blurred. “Can you tell me more about Lilith? She is your family, so I want to get to know her better.”

“Lilith is… was… She’s gone now. She died in the Great Celestial War,” Beel struggles to speak, so you approach him and take his hands in yours.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up,” you apologize, feeling guilty for making him so sad.

“No, I… I want to talk about her. It’s wrong that we don’t talk about her, even if it hurts. And I want you to know more about Lilith, because she was amazing.” Beel gives you a sad smile, squeezing your hands tighter. “Do you know about the Great Celestial War?”

“Yeah, I read about it a little bit. It happened before you and your family were cast out of the Celestial Realm.”

“Yes, Lucifer incited a revolution against our father, and we aligned ourselves with him. But in the end our father crushed our rebellion, and cast us out of the Celestial Realm.” Beel sighs, gathering strength to continue. “During the battle, Lilith’s wing was pierced by an arrow. Both Belphie and I saw it. It happened right in front of our eyes…” You notice tears on Beel’s cheek. You hug him as tightly as you can, hiding his face in your shoulder. He hugs you back, his body starts to shake. “She fell down out the heavens and… died. Just before Lilith was shot, I saw angels from the opposing side draw their bows and aim at both her and Belphie. I couldn’t save them both… the three of us were too far apart. I knew I’d only be able to get one of them in time. Then suddenly, Belphie’s eyes met mine… and just like that, I rushed over to him and shielded from the attack. I wasn’t able to save Lilith. She died. And it was my fault.”

“No, Beel, no… You did everything you could.” You hug him tighter, caressing his hair. You can’t help but sympathize with Beel. You never experienced anything like that, but you can imagine how horrible it must feel. A warm tear is running down your cheek. Beel found his way into your heart too fast, and you didn’t even notice how it happened.

“Everyone tells me that I 'couldn’t help it'. But none of them saw what I saw. They didn’t see how Lilith looked at me, as the arrow pierced her wing in the split second before she fell. They didn’t see that look of despair… Belphie hasn’t ever come out and said it, but I think he blames me for not being able to save Lilith. I know he wanted me to save her instead of him. Cas,” Beel lifts his head from your shoulder and looks you in the eyes. “If you had been in my shoes, who would you have saved? Belphie or Lilith?”

“Beel”, you sigh, “when it comes to such questions, there is no right or wrong answer. I could tell you that I would save Lilith, or Belphie, or whoever was closer, or whoever had more chances to survive… But the truth is, nobody can know for sure how they would act in your shoes. Such situations, they impact your brain more than anything. Someone would stay pragmatic and calculate who they should save based on millions of factors. Someone would act on emotions and rush to whoever they saw first. And someone would freeze on the spot, unable to make a decision.” You put your hand on his cheek. “It’s so fucking scary to act in such situations, Beel. It’s so hard to make a choice. But you did act and saved Belphie. He’s alive, thanks to you. That’s what matters. I have no idea what I would do. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to save anyone at all. But you saved your brother. And I’m very proud of you.” You attempt to smile.

Beelzebub’s violet eyes shine brightly; his face expresses such a mix of emotions that it’s hard to tell what exactly he feels after your words. Maybe he doesn’t know himself. Beel lowers his head and slightly bumps his forehead into yours, closing his eyes. You hold each other, sharing the air between you. Tears start to disappear, the heart stops beating as fast as a few minutes ago. You bring each other peace after such a hard conversation.

After a couple of minutes, you open your eyes. It feels so good to hold Beel like this, but you have a mission. You move your head farther from Beel, and look around. And freeze.

There is a woman in the room. She looks like a ghost, almost invisible in a bright light and against the white fabric on the furniture. She smiles, looking at you and the demon in your arms. Her violet eyes are the same as Beel’s.

“Beel!” You alert him, staring at the woman behind his shoulder. But when Beel turns around, she’s already gone.

“Something happened?” The demon looks confused, he didn’t notice Lilith. You’re sure that it was her.

“Yes, I just saw…”

RING!

Your phone chooses the worst moment to interrupt you. It’s Mammon. “Sorry I… I better take the call.”

“Sure,” Beel nods, looking behind him again. But nobody is there.

You accept the call and are instantly stunned by a loud scream:

“CAS! Where the hell are ya?! Get your butt down to the underground tomb, now! Lucifer is about to kill Luke!”

“Shit!” you swear and turn to Beel, “Where’s the underground to- Oh!” The demon snatches you in his arms and runs to the basement. You don’t even process what happened. Two seconds in his arms, and you’re already underground, in the part of the chamber you’ve never seen before, staring at a bizarre scene in front of you.

Mammon tries to shield the little angel, who is on the verge of tears, from furious Lucifer, who has already taken his demon form.

“Lucifer, come on! Calm down a little, would ya?!” Mammon tries to negotiate, slowly taking steps back with each word. He tries to push Luke further from Lucifer, but the angel is so terrified that he is stuck in one place. “He’s just a lost dog, that’s all! No need to go revealing your true form over this now, is there?!”

“R-right e-e-exactly! If you th-think you’re gonna s-scare me by looking all evil like that, y-you’re wrong! It w-w-won’t work!” Luke still tries to bark back, even in this situation. What a brave guy.

“Luke. That book you’ve got in your hand…” Lucifer’s voice is so calm and cold that you feel chills down your spine. “Do you realize what that is?” You notice a black book in the angel’s hands.

“Y-you mean this…? I found it a minute ago. The sculpture on the stone coffin there was holding it…”

“I know this book…” Beel says, putting you on the ground.

“FINALLY! Cas, Beel, took ya long enough!” Mammon is extremely happy to see you. Does he think that you can improve the situation? You highly doubt it, but you’ll try.

“It’s a grimoire,” Beel ignores Mammon. “This book has the power to control a demon, to make them do anything, even if it’s a violation of a pact.”

“Fuck, this sounds really bad,” you whisper, staring at the book and Lucifer. It would be one case if he was furious at Luke for trespassing. But with the grimoire in his hands, the angel becomes a threat. A threat that Lucifer must remove from existence. You jump between Lucifer and Luke, now you stand right next to Mammon. You have to protect this stupid child.

“How did ya even get here?!” Mammon asks Luke, looking behind his shoulder.

“I-I don’t know! I was in Beelzebub’s room, waiting for him and Castiel, when I suddenly…”

“Wait,” Lucifer interrupts the angel. “Beelzebub’s room? Did I hear correctly? Did you just say the words 'Beelzebub’s room'?!” The demon’s eyes become even redder; his fangs are now so long that there is no space left for them in his mouth. Lucifer gets more monster-like with each second. “So it was you two, who let THE ANGEL get into our house?! This angel, who would try to steal the grimoire?!” He roars right into your face. You didn’t notice when Beel got here, but he is standing next to you. One look into his face tells you all you need to know: he is terrified, maybe even more than Luke. He isn’t used to seeing his brother THAT pissed off.

“Y-you’ve got it all wrong! I wasn’t trying to steal…” Apparently, Luke is braver than all of you. He still dares to speak up, when you, Mammon, and Beel can’t find the strength to say at least something. Lucifer in his true form is horrifying, you won’t be able to sleep for days after this. If you survive.

Lucifer ignores Luke’s excuses, growling at Beel and the angel:

“You two had better be ready to face the consequences!”

“Lucifer, God damn it! Nothing happened! Luke will hand you the grimoire, and then we’ll just talk…” You try to reason with the demon, but it’s useless.

“SILENCE!” he roars so loudly that you hear ringing in your ears.

boom boom...

There is some kind of distant noise in the background, but you have no time to focus on it. You take a small step forward to shield the guys behind you. The only chance to get out of this alive is if Lucifer remembers that you’re an exchange student who is very precious to Diavolo. But he’s in such a state that you doubt it’ll stop him.

“Get out of my way, human! Or do you want to die here?!” He growls, but you don’t move. It makes him smirk. “A foolish human wants to sacrifice his life to defend a demon and an angel. If you want to be a hero, you’re going to have to choose one of them to save. Beelzebub or Luke. Make your choice.”

Beel twitches next to you, like Lucifer just punched him.

Boom Boom.

“I’ll save both of them, fucking asshole!” You yell at Lucifer, anger at him fills your mind. You hate him. Hate him so much. You want to tear him apart.

“What’s that now? You want to save both?” Lucifer asks with poisonous politeness, raising his voice with each sentence. The white of his eyes becomes black. The energy that illuminates from his body must be his magic. You feel your nose bleeding from the pure pressure of it, a trail of blood crosses your lips and runs toward your chin. “Do you actually think I’m going to allow a lowly human that choice?! That you can have whatever it is you WANT?! NO…”

BOOM BOOM!

BAM!

Lucifer is sent flying into the nearest wall by something big. It’s Cerberus. The best fucking creature in existence. You love him so much.  

“AAAAHHHHHH!” Mammon and Luke scream behind you, they hug each other in fear, staring at the hellish nightmare in front of them. It’s hard to tell who is scarier: Lucifer or Cerberus. Beel froze silently, he’s just as terrified, but he doesn’t make a sound.

“Cerbie!” You let out a relieved sigh. But you have no time to celebrate: Lucifer is already getting up. The only reason he allowed himself to be sent into the wall is that he didn’t expect his own dog to betray him. It won’t happen again.

You need to run. Now.

“Everyone!” You turn to two demons and an angel. “Get on the dog, right fucking now!”

“WHAT?!” they all yell in shock. Cerberus has already lowered his body, ready to accept passengers. Your friends think too slowly, you have to push them toward the beast. Beel understands your plan faster than others; he hops on the dog, dragging Mammon and Luke with him. Cerberus gently picks you up with his teeth and settles right behind his heads.

Lucifer menacingly approaches your company. The element of surprise is still working, the demon tries to grasp everything that is happening in front of him, that’s a lot to digest. But it won’t take long for him to go for an attack. You need more time.

You tear the grimoire from Luke’s hands. Lucifer’s eyes widen in horror. But he’s lucky that you don’t want to use it, even when death is several seconds away from you. Instead, you raise a hand with a grimoire and throw the book right into Lucifer. Headshot! The grimoire lands right in Lucifer’s face, giving you precious time to escape. The demon takes the book into his hands, staring blankly at it.

“Cerbie! Get us out of here!” you shout. The dog gets up, Mammon and Luke keep screaming, and Beel tries to hold onto the beast’s fur to avoid dropping on the floor. You have the best positioning of them all; you can cling to the collar with giant spikes, avoiding losing balance.

Cerberus turns around and starts sprinting toward one of the walls. He opens all his mouths, you feel the temperature rising within him, and he spits an unbelievable amount of fire right on the wall, making it melt thanks to all the heat. But there is no time to wait for it to melt fully. Cerberus crushes right into this wall with his heads, destroying it with a tremendous noise. The whole House trembles from the impact, but luckily it doesn’t collapse. You thought for a second that it would.

“AAAHHHHH!” Mammon and Luke continue to scream, holding for their dear lives on Cerberus’ back. The dog bounces out of the chamber right on the street. You’re free. But you’re not safe.

“Cerbie, run toward the park, there must be fewer people there! We need to create more distance between us and that maniac!” you command, strengthening your grip on a collar. The beast starts sprinting toward the park. He seems to be happy to be able to go for a walk.

“HE IS BEHIND US!” Luke attracts your attention, and you throw a glance backward. Oh, shit.

Lucifer flies out of the hole you left in the house. His huge, black wings grant him incredible speed, but luckily, Cerberus is slightly faster. You can see his glowing red eyes from out here.

“Cas, it was a bad idea to go through the park,” Beel mumbles, lying on his stomach.

“Why?” you ask, but you learn the answer as soon as you look in front of you. That’s a lot of people. A ton of them. “What a fuck?!”

“Exhibition of rare fruits and vegetables. It’s a fair,” Beel responds, staring at all the food beneath you. With all the searches he didn’t have a chance to properly eat. You vaguely remember Bob mentioning this exhibition a long time ago. What rotten luck.

“Cerberus, we need to slow down! Try not to flatten anybody here!” You yell at the back of the dog’s heads. He slows down, bouncing between people, trying to avoid all of them. The demons already noticed a giant dog above their heads and are now running away, screaming and swearing. You think that you notice Bob in the crowd, but who knows how many bull-demons are out there? Maybe it’s not him.

“We can’t slow down!” Mammon stares at Lucifer who gets closer and closer. “This crazy bastard is tryin’ to kill us for sure!”

“For fuck’s sake…” you try to come up with something to distract Lucifer. You pass by the stalls full of wild-looking fruits and vegetables, that was certainly a great exhibition. Before you arrived. Now, Cerberus smashes all the food in attempt to avoid crushing the demons. The main curiosity of the fair is, for sure, a high tower of apples, oranges, lemons…

…

“Cerbie, go to this tower, but don’t break it!” you command. You could just crush into it to make it fall directly on Lucifer. But he’ll avoid it easily. You need to act differently. The dog turns to his left and sprints to the tower, you need to act fast. “Beel! Hold my legs and don’t let go!” You snatch Luke’s funny hat, lie on your stomach, and crawl toward the edge of Cerberus’ body. Beel obediently holds your legs, not letting you fall.

You lower your body as much as you can, your whole torso is now flopping in the air, crushing into Cerberus’ back with his every move. With a hat in your hands, you straighten your arms and wait till the dog approaches the tower. Once you get there, you snatch a few apples and oranges from the tower with a hat, using it like a bag. Unfortunately, the tower didn’t survive the close encounter with a giant dog: it starts to fall. But, of course, Lucifer easily avoids it. He is dangerously close.

“Beel! Pull me back!” The demon returns your upper body to Cerberus’ back, staring at fruits in the hat. “Sorry, but you can’t eat them. We need to survive here. I’ll treat you to dinner once it’s all over,” you apologize to the demon, checking your pockets. Of course, you left your phone at home, so you can’t call for help. But that’s not what you’re after. You smile when you find what you were looking for: a hair tie. “Mammon, take your demon form!”

“What?! I can’t fight this guy, ya know it!” Mammon protests, transforming anyway.

“You won’t have to,” you say, putting your hair tie on both his pointy horns.

“HEY! The hell do ya think ya doing?!”

“A slingshot,” you smirk, turning to Beel. “We need to slow Lucifer down. As the strongest among us, can you shoot these fruits right into Lucifer? It’s a good hair tie, so I hope it won’t break.”

“YOU’RE CRAZY! It’ll never work!” Mammon tries to argue, but it’s pointless. Beel understands it, so he just nods. He crawls toward Mammon, takes the bag out of your hands, and prepares to shoot. Luke seems to calm down a little bit. He curiously observes how your stupid plan will play out.

You’re still in the park, but it will end soon. High buildings start right after it, so you need to hurry. Beel won’t be able to shoot if the buildings block his sight.

“FIRE!” you command, observing how the first fruit flies right into Lucifer.

“Ow! Beel, careful, you’ll break my horns if ya keep shooting like that!”

“Sorry,” Beel apologizes, and shoots the next fruit with even more force. With Mammon’s swearing and Beel’s amazing aim, you manage to slow down Lucifer. You’re not sure if it’s because your hits are that effective or the demon is just that shocked to be attacked by fruits. Either way, it’s a success. But a temporary one.

Cerberus jumps on the road outside the park. You’re in the city now. The dog masterfully dodges cars and demons under his paws, leaving huge holes in the concrete. The repairs will take months. It seems Cerberus views it as some kind of game. You caused a real panic in the city, you hear the terrified screams of citizens. The view of a giant hellish beast even makes some people faint on the spot. What a disaster.

But everybody soon realizes that Cerberus was the lesser evil. The greater one is represented by Lucifer. Each swing of his black wings sends a wave of air that makes all the windows in the surrounding buildings break. Countless shards fall down right at the demons below. But Lucifer doesn’t care. His goal is to get to you. And to kill. You feel his magical power from a distance, his bloodthirst is immeasurable.

“We’re out of ammo,” Beel reports. He returns the hat on Luke’s head, which the little angel seems to appreciate. Mammon takes off the hair tie from his horns, twisting his face in pain: Beel wasn’t gentle with his poor head.

A first ray of red light lands right between you and Mammon. You may be out of ammo, but Lucifer didn’t even start to get serious. He now tries to strike you with red flashes. You have no idea what it is, but you don’t want to find out.

“Aaahhh! We’re gonna die!” Luke screams and tries to cover. Both Beel and Mammon try to shield you and Luke from Lucifer’s strikes. You think you notice one hit landing on Mammon, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect on him.

You need to do something. It’s impossible to run across the city for all eternity. You have to look for protection, and the only person who could stop Lucifer is…

“Cerbie! Run to the castle!” you scream and the beast instantly reacts. He stops in his tracks and turns right so quickly that he smashes one of his sides into the building. The impact from the hit is so huge that you nearly fly away from his back, but you manage to snatch his collar. This turn makes Cerberus slow down even more and leaves your body without the protection of demons. And Lucifer uses this opportunity.

The red light hits you right in the stomach. At first, you don’t feel anything. But soon the pain appears, getting stronger and stronger. It takes over all your organs, one by one. You start choking on your own blood, so you turn your face away from the guys to hide your state. They won’t help you anyway, so there's no need to demoralize them. You’re almost at the castle.

Cerberus jumps over the fence and gets to the castle grounds. With all the ruckus you caused Diavolo should’ve heard you from a mile away. You just hope that he didn’t leave the castle.

A dark shadow blocks the bright moon above you. Lucifer finally caught up with you. He dives right at you, attempting to tear you apart, but Mammon and Beel block his attack. They all fall from Cerberus’ back, accidentally dragging terrified Luke with them.

You want to do something, but you can’t move. You want to ask Cerberus to stop, but the blood blocks all the sounds you attempt to make. The beast rushes somewhere, very determinedly. You understand where only when you hear the splashes of water. The dog must’ve missed baths, his basement has only a shower. So when he saw a huge lake he instantly decided to swim there for a little bit. At least, that’s your guess. Oh well, it’s a pity that you can’t swim. But in your state, it doesn’t really matter, you would’ve drowned anyway.

Cerberus jumps and dives right into the middle of the lake, far away from the shore and the fight between brothers. You feel your body crushing into the surface of the lake, then a pleasant floating sensation. You don’t feel Cerberus’ body anymore. The water around you changes its color to red, you’re losing a lot of blood from the curse Lucifer threw at you.

You feel warmth from Levi’s pact mark and suddenly realize that you’re not drowning. You may have troubles breathing due to your damaged lungs, but the power of the mark envelops you, protecting from water. So Mammon’s pact helped you move faster when you were fighting those demons, and now Levi’s pact helps you breathe underwater. It’s actually very cool, but you’ll be dead within a minute anyway. What a waste of such an awesome power…

You lazily wonder what’s going on at the shore. You hope that everyone’s alive, maybe Diavolo finally appeared and stopped Lucifer’s rampage. Your thoughts start to lose their tracks, it’s getting harder for you to maintain consciousness. Your brain successfully blocks all the pain, you heard that it can happen when a person dies.

Three pairs of yellow, glowing eyes appear right in front of you. Must be Cerberus. Does he know how to breathe underwater as well? What a good boy… You hope he enjoys his bath… You wish you could spend more time with him, there are so many songs you want to sing to him… And to walk in the park together, but slower, not like this time… And to take a nap on his fluffy fur… And to feed Lucifer to him… To scratch his head one more time…

And to…

And to…

To…

…

Your body relaxes, ready to accept its fate. Maybe next life will be kinder to you. The last sensation you feel, is a careful touch of Cerberus’ paw to your hand. He wants to spend more time with you as well.

…

…

A sudden ache on your shoulder makes you twitch. You thought that you already said your goodbyes to all the pain, but it’s here once again. And it drags you back. Something appears on your shoulder, something that sends calming waves across your whole body. The blood stops leaving you, it stays right where it belongs. Your organs return to work one by one, reviving you. You can move your limbs now, but you have no idea where or how to swim. You don’t know what is up and what is down.

Something fluffy pushes you upwards at a very high speed. Your head meets the surface of the lake and breaks free. You force yourself to open the eyes and look around. There is water, tons and tons of water. You see the castle in the distance, and maybe several people on the shore, but they are all far away.

Something soft is under your butt. You look down and meet the gaze of yellow eyes. You’re sitting right on Cerberus’ middle head, two others rise from the water next to you.

“Cerbie, what the hell happened just now?” you mumble, completely confused. Did Cerberus manage to stop Lucifer’s curse? How? The only possible way to heal such amount of damage that quickly, is…

A new pact.

You instantly raise the sleeve of your uniform: the coat flew off somewhere in the lake, so you’re now wearing only a shirt. There is a new pact mark on your shoulder.

“Cerbie, but… You shouldn’t have… Shit…” You genuinely don’t know what to say. The book has mentioned that the energy from a new pact can heal a human, like it happened to you and Mammon. His pact healed the arm, which was damaged by Bob. But you never thought that Cerberus might know about this stuff and that he could willingly use it to save you from Lucifer’s curse…

You only expressed your desire to spend more time with the beast, was it enough to make a pact? All six eyes are staring at you, waiting for your reaction.

“I… Thank you. You saved my life.” You put a hand on his head and pat the dog. “I can break the pact, if you want. I read about it, it’s possible.”

Cerberus shakes his other heads, sending drops of water flying everywhere.

“Fine, we’ll leave this conversation for now, but it’s not over,” you laugh, shielding yourself from the droplets with your hands. You turn toward the castle. “Let’s go back to the shore.”

The dog starts wiggling his paws under the water, swimming toward the ground. The closer you get, the more people you can recognize.

There’s Diavolo, in his demon form, and Barbatos, standing next to Lucifer. The Avatar of Pride is still in his true form. They don’t fight, but the conversation between them doesn’t look pleasant. Simeon is also there, but he prefers to give all his attention to trembling Luke. To your surprise, Asmo, Solomon, and Satan are also there. Judging from the colorful bags in their hands, they must’ve gone shopping together. Since they were in the city, they might have heard the commotion and followed your tracks. Currently, all the brothers and Solomon run around near the water, probably looking for you. Mammon and Beel even dive into the lake. They underestimate how far Cerberus jumped, they should’ve swum closer to the center.

But all the talking and searches stop once they notice Cerberus’ heads with you on top of one of them. You regret that you can witness their reaction only from a distance, but even from here you can see their wide eyes. On all of them, even all-knowing Barbatos.

Cerberus slowly gets out of the water, you feel his temperature rising again. A very cool trick to dry his fur quickly. He lowers his head so you could slide to the ground. Younger brothers immediately rush toward you, but don’t dare to actually approach: Cerberus still guards you, and he doesn’t like when someone’s getting too close. Demons are about to start asking questions when suddenly your vision is completely blocked by the fire.

You hear screams of despair and horror, they think that Cerberus suddenly decided to fry you. He breathes fire right at you, showering you in flames. But it doesn’t hurt in the slightest. The pact protects you from any direct damage. The beast closes his mouth, giving everyone the opportunity to see that you’re still alive. You must stink from all the smoke, but at least your clothes and hair are now dry.

“Thank you, Cerbie,” you smile at him, scratching his chin.

Nobody knows what to say, you just hear the occasional swears from each demon and one human. Simeon doesn’t say anything, covering Luke’s ears with his hands.

But it seems that one demon still has a lot on his mind:

“Castiel,” Lucifer approaches you, stopping at arm’s length. “What is the meaning of this? Why does MY dog listen to your commands, which resulted in the complete destruction of a major part of the city?”

“Excuse me?” You feel your anger returning to you again. “So it’s somehow my and Cerberus’ fault? And not of the fucking maniac who chased us around?”

“I wouldn’t chase you if you didn’t make a hole in the wall and escape.”

“But of course! You would just quietly murder us all in your basement! Too bad that I’m not planning to be a victim of some egocentric douchebag!”

“You brought it upon yourself! If you didn’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, you could just quietly live till the end of the year!”

“Oh? So I’m supposed to just ignore all the bullshit your brothers, and especially Beel, have to bear because of you?! Maybe if you watched your tongue…”

“That’s none of your business, human, what we are doing within our family. You’re just a nuisance I had to welcome into my home. You have no right…!” Lucifer breathes right into your face, his sclera is black once again.

“Fine! Fuck you and your dysfunctional family then! Destroy everything you have, like I care! But next time, turn your rotten brain on when you decide to kill a fucking angel! Do you realize the scale of a conflict we barely avoided?! I fucking know history and know damn well what happens to the Human world when the Devildom and the Celestial Realm start war!”

“This angel stole a GRIMOIRE! I understand that your brain can’t comprehend the importance of it, but nobody who dares to steal such an important artifact can live to see another day!”

“For fuck’s sake, Lucy, he’s just a KID!” You yell at him louder with each sentence. You both shout and growl so furiously that nobody dares to intervene.

“He’s an angel who you let in on OUR territory. And after he committed a crime you do everything in your power to make things worse!”

“Do you want an advice? For free! How about you fucking HIDE such mega-important shit next time?! A damn child could get to your secret hideout and take the grimoire without any obstacles! Shit, even I make a stroll down there every day! There are even no DOORS that would prevent anybody from going into the chamber!”

“You have no idea what that grimoire means to our family and why it should be where it is!”

“Then maybe don’t throw a tantrum like a fucking five-year-old after your artifact is SUDDENLY discovered?! You know, the kind of tantrum that won’t just destroy the plans of your boss, but also, possibly, WILL START A WAR?!”

“Peabrained imbecile! You know nothing about our politics, traditions, grimoires, and yet you insist on giving ME advices?!” Lucifer grabs you by a collar.

“Oh, I’ve got a lot of advices for you, Lucy! For example, I know a perfect, secure place for your priceless artifact! How about you take this super-important notebook, roll it into a tube, and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!” You grab the demon by the collar as well. Now you’re both breathing with fury right into each other faces, looking like a pair of roosters who fight for the territory.

“HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GRIMOIRE, YOU PATHETIC WORM?!”

“Oh! Did I offend you? Sorry, are you sure that you’re the Avatar of Pride, and not the Avatar of Inadequate Hysterics and Endless Whining?!”

“I WILL TEAR OUT EVERY LAST ORGAN THAT YOU HAVE, THEN MAKE CERBERUS AND BEEL EAT ALL THAT’S LEFT!”

“WOW, THE BEST OWNER AND THE OLDER BROTHER OF THE YEAR! HOW ABOUT I CUT YOUR HEAD OFF WITH A CHAINSAW AS A SPECIAL PRIZE FOR SUCH AN ACHIVEMENT?” 

Your diplomatic dispute is interrupted by a loud whimper behind you. Your head immediately turns around to look at sad Cerberus. The dog looks rather stressed out after witnessing a huge fight between his Owner and Master. Or he simply doesn’t like all the yelling, who knows. His puppy eyes make you immediately release Lucifer’s collar and give all your attention to the dog.

“Sorry, Cerbie, you’re right. This conversation is pointless.” You gently pet one of his heads. “Let’s go home, I’m tired as hell.” Cerberus once again lifts you with his teeth and settles on his back. Lucifer silently watches you two, trying to regain control over his emotions. He embarrassed himself enough for one day.

“Castiel!” Diavolo approaches your lovely group. “I have no doubts about your capabilities in controlling Cerberus’ behavior, but would you mind if I joined you two? Simply to avoid any misunderstandings with the citizens.”

“Cerbie, do you mind having one more passenger?” Нou ask the beast. He barks loudly in response, you interpret it positively. “All right, Your Majesty, get on!”

“Oh, I simply meant to accompany you, flying nearby…” Diavolo didn’t expect such an invitation.

“Well, if you refuse…”

“I don’t!” The prince quickly interrupts you and flies right onto Cerberus’ back. You hide a smirk: of course he wants a ride, who wouldn’t.

You squeeze the collar tighter, turn to the rest of the gang, and announce: “See you at home, suckers. Cerbie, let’s go!”

The dog instantly starts running at the highest speed, happy that he can now burn his energy without being chased by his Owner. Diavolo has to grab your waist to be able to avoid falling. Perfect. Though you think that Diavolo is supposed to have some super strength, making holding you rather unnecessary. You ride across the part of the city that was previously ruined. When you have time to actually look around and examine the surroundings, you understand how much damage you've caused. Spicy News will have the best day of their whole existence. They’ll write so much shit about all of you that you better start mentally preparing for the backlash.

You reach the House of Lamentation in record time, getting into the house through a hole. You both jump off Cerberus, and Diavolo decides that he should feed the beast after such an eventful walk. You lean on the wall, waiting for the prince to finish feeding. But your body betrays you once again. After your brain feels that you’re finally safe, it sends a signal that you should use this opportunity and immediately take a rest. Your legs lose their power and you almost fall to the ground, but Diavolo manages to catch you.

“Are you okay?!” he asks nervously, examining your state.

“Yeah, I just… tend to become very sleepy after I escape some dangerous situation. I spent so much energy today that I desperately need a nap,” you reply, relaxing in Diavolo’s arms. Feels nice.

“Understood,” the demon nods seriously. He snatches your whole body in his arms and starts running upstairs. You don’t even have a chance to protest – you immediately land on the Beel’s bed. “Lucifer mentioned that you’re living with Beel now. Is that the right bed?” he asks, looking around the room.

“Yeah… Thanks, but better ask for permission first,” you reply, settling comfortably.

“Yes, sorry, you’re right.” Diavolo takes an armchair, moves it closer to you and sits in it. “This was quite the day, wasn’t it?” He smiles at you.

“Nothing out of the ordinary, really,” you sigh. “It’s just a regular day for me.”

“I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you,” Diavolo stares at you sympathetically. “I promised to protect you, but you have to deal with so many problems on a daily basis. I… really failed you, didn’t I?” The prince hides his gaze, looking at his hands.

“I don’t remember the part when I asked you to protect me,” you wince. “I’m not a child you need to look after. Either treat me with deserved respect or leave my room, I heard enough whining for today.” Your response may be harsh, but you’re sick of this shit already. Everybody around you thinks they’re so unbelievably smart and powerful, giving you unasked advices and surrounding you with uncalled care.

“Oh…” Diavolo seems very surprised by your annoyed attitude. “I didn’t think that’s how you view things. Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.” He scratches the back of his head. “I understand what you mean, though. When you were arguing with Lucifer, it was very hard for me not to stand between the two of you. But Barbatos stopped me. You know, demons actually have a kind of etiquette regarding fights. If a demon sees their friend in a battle against someone, to show respect toward the friend they must never intervene. It means that they believe in the friend’s capability to deal with a threat on their own. If they help, that means that they view the friend as someone weak. That’s how most demons understand such actions. Barbatos reminded me that if I want to strengthen the relationships with humans, I should put more trust in their capabilities. In your capabilities.”

“Yeah, that's exactly what I want, Diavolo. Equality. I don’t need you patronizing me. Glad you finally started getting it.” You stare in prince’s yellow eyes, making him feel rather uncomfortable. He seems to feel guilty.

“I started the whole exchange program but forgot about the most important thing. But I’m glad that you gave me a chance to realize my mistake. I promise to act more respectfully toward you, Castiel.” Diavolo doesn’t seem to be offended by your treatment. He still has this determined and passionate glow in his eyes.

“Relax, big guy. No need for inspiring speeches, just treat me like you would any other demon, that’s all I’m asking.” You slightly smile, feeling sleepy. “What’s with all the mess we caused?”

“I’ll have a talk with Lucifer and Simeon, hope to settle everything down. Repairs of the roads and windows have already started, so don’t worry about that. And Castiel…” Diavolo smiles, noticing that you’ve already fallen asleep. He tenderly pats your head and covers you with a blanket. “…thank you. You never fail to amaze and inspire me. I’m honored to have you as an exchange student.” He turns off the lights and leaves to clean up your mess, like always.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

You're just like me, you're out your mind
I know it's strange, we're both the crazy kind
You're tellin' me that I'm insane
Boy, don't pretend that you don't love the pain

Ava Max – Sweet but Psycho

White dress. Violet eyes. Sad smile. She tries to speak, but her voice is so quiet that you don’t hear a word. You try to come closer, but no matter how many steps you take, you can’t approach her even slightly. But it doesn’t mean that you’ll give up. One day you’ll hear her, you know it.

“Cas…” A whisper and a gentle touch to your face slowly return you to the real world. You try to force your mind to stay within a dream, but to no avail. Your eyes open, and you once again meet a violet gaze, but a real one this time.

“Sorry,” Beel mumbles, he seems very tired. The demon must’ve had a rough night after everything that happened. You’re glad that Diavolo made you fall asleep and you skipped the most awkward part of the aftermath. Beel sits in an armchair, the one that the prince forgot to return to its place. “I didn’t want to wake you up, but the breakfast is ready, so…”

“Thanks,” you smile at him. You sit up on a bed and inspect Beel’s face. “You look even more exhausted than yesterday. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” the demon assures, but not as energetically as always. “We were all working the whole night, repairing the streets. It wouldn’t be so bad if not for the constant complaining of Asmo, Satan, and Levi.”

“Wait, even those guys were forced to work?”

“Yes, something about saving the reputation of all the Seven Rulers.”

“You know… I don’t think that I want to have breakfast in the dinner room.” You frown, imagining miserable faces of the demonic brothers after a sleepless night.

“Sorry, but I can’t go there without you.” Beel activates his puppy eyes. “You’re the only one who can make them behave at least a little bit.”

“Huh? Buddy, did you already forget what happened yesterday? Or, you know, all the other days before that? When I intervene, things only get worse.” You’re determined to avoid a lovely breakfast. Especially if Lucifer is there as well.

“I disagree.” Beel stubbornly shakes his head. “You saved me and Luke. Remember what you told me?” He takes your hand in his. “It’s scary to act, right? But you acted. And protected me. I’ll never forget it. I want to do something for you in return. Is there anything you want?”

Oh, your head instantly fills with images of everything you would want from this guy. But this time you can’t afford to think with your cock. You’re not sure if it’s too soon to ask for a pact, but you’re ready to take a risk.

“There is something I want…” You sigh, looking at the demon. He waits patiently, still holding your hand. “A pact. Let me make a pact with you.”

“Okay,” Beel simply replies, no hesitation whatsoever.

“Wait, don’t you want to think about it more…? Hgh…” Your face twists from a familiar pain that overtakes your whole body. Beel puts his other hand on your shoulder, offering his support. A new pact mark appears on your lower back, along the spine. “Fuck, didn’t know you could be so reckless,” you attempt to smile.

“I can,” the demon calmly nods. “But I don’t think that what I’m doing right now is reckless. Can you tell me why you need a pact with me?”

“Haha… You’re supposed to ask such things before, not after everything is done,” you giggle quietly. Pain slowly fades away, the energy from a new pact fills you instead.

“Maybe. So?” He stares at you patiently.

Well, you certainly can’t tell him the real reason. So you announce your second real reason. The best lie is the one that is partially true.

“You know, I’ve experienced something that wasn’t mentioned in any books I’ve read so far. When I was attacked at RAD, Mammon’s mark helped me move faster. Fast enough to dodge the hits from multiple demons. Then, yesterday, when Cerbie dived into the lake, Levi’s mark gave me the ability to breathe underwater. I tried to use Mammon’s power consciously several times, but I didn’t succeed. Still, in both situations pacts saved my life. So I thought…” You examine Beel’s face, but he’s very hard to read. You can’t understand his reaction to your reasoning at all. “…There is still so much time before my year here ends. So I have to do everything to survive. And a pact with you can help me with that. Though I have no idea what kind of power I just got.”

“Me neither. I've never heard about something like that.” Beel frowns. But after giving it some thought, he smiles at you. “Maybe it gave you a healthy appetite? Then I won’t have to worry about whether you’re hungry or not.”

Such an adorable demonstration of care makes you laugh. “I hope not. This house won’t be able to handle two gluttons under its roof.” You affectionately ruffle his red hair. The demon seems to enjoy it: he smiles, closes his eyes, and lowers his head to make it easier for you to reach his hair.

Your cozy conversation is suddenly interrupted by Mammon, who opens the door (without knocking, of course) and yells: “Are ya stuck here?! C’mon, drag your asses downstairs, the food is gettin’ cold!”

Finally, with the combined forces of Beel and Mammon, they manage to get you downstairs. All the brothers are already here. Asmo immediately jumps out of the table and hugs you as tightly as possible. Mammon and Levi hiss at him, annoyed by Asmo’s behavior. As soon as you sit down, Levi starts putting an enormous amount of food in front of you. Beel fully supports his actions and adds even more stuff, almost breaking your plate. Mammon and Asmo also don’t want to stay behind, so a quiet breakfast transforms into a competition to see who will feed you more food. The only sane person at the table is Satan. He just watches the show and sips a drink from his cup (you always enjoy seeing the Avatar of Wrath using the cup you gifted him).

Lucifer… He is also here. Eating and drinking like nothing happened. You don’t want to spoil your day that early, so you just ignore him. But once the amount of food on your plate gets twice as big as Beel’s portion and all the demons finally settle down, Lucifer turns to you and says calmly:

“Castiel, meet me in the music room after breakfast.”

“No,” you reply, without stopping munching on some vegetables. Lucifer’s hand squeezes a fork so hard that it breaks in half. So the calm attitude was just for show, after all.

“It’s important,” the demon insists, the voice is as cold as ice.

You have to consider your options for a second. The amount of fury this man stirs inside of you is immeasurable. He basically killed you yesterday, you’re quite sure that Cerberus dragged you out of the grave. You can still recall the feeling of your heart beating slower and slower, until it completely stops.

But the pact, though.

You somehow need to make it. Arguably, Lucifer’s pact is the most significant of all. He is the strongest and can deal the most damage to your home world. To gain control over this astonishing power… It’s not an option, it’s a necessity.

So far, it seems impossible. You’d never say no to a challenge, but objectively, it’s not happening. Yet, you still need to try your best. And for that you need to do the hardest thing ever: control your behavior. Impulsiveness was always a major part of your personality, so it’s hard to just disregard it. Especially when your anger is completely justified.

You imagine all the little doggies and kittens that will be harmed when Lucifer starts his rampage, and you won’t be able to stop it. It partially helps, but not enough. Then you imagine your appartment, destroyed by the sheer force of demonic magic. You'll have no place to return to. You can't let the demons take away your home. You have to do this.

“What’s the magic word?” You smirk, looking into the bright-red eyes in front of you. Damn it! You’re indeed hopeless.

Lucifer breaks yet another fork. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. All the brothers around you are on high alert, they watch your conversation without even breathing.

“…Please,” Lucifer breathes out, his face twitches like he is in agony. It seems that it’s really hard to go against your own sin, even for him. This little display of obedience actually makes you feel better. It’s not that hard to fight against your nature when you see that your opponent does the same.

“Fine,” you reply, returning to your food. Other demons finally start breathing, you can feel their relief in the air.

As soon as Lucifer stops eating, he gets up and marches to the music room. Usually you would make him wait for you. But you’re both trying to find some common ground here. So you get up shortly after Lucifer.

“Hey,” Mammon speaks up nervously. “Do ya want… Ya know… Someone to go with ya?”

“No. But thanks for your concern.” You give the brothers a reassuring smile and go away.

You find Lucifer standing in the middle of the room. If it was anybody else, you’d call their stand awkward. But it’s Lucifer, so it just looks menacing. He instantly starts speaking:

“I would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday,” he says with his emotionless voice. “I took responsibility for your wellbeing, but made you go through a rather terrifying and stressful experience. It’s unacceptable, so I would like to treat you to a dinner at one of the most prestigious establishments of the Devildom, as a part of my sincere apology.”

…

“A dinner…” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Easy, Cas, calm down. “A fucking DINNER?! You must be kidding me. You turn my organs into pasta, and then you want to settle this with a half-baked apology and a damn free meal?! Seriously?!”

“You should be grateful that I gift you that much after everything you've caused!” Lucifer starts to yell back immediately. You even notice a hint of relief in his eyes: keeping appearances is as hard for him as it is for you. He’s glad to be able to growl at you again.

“Oh yeah? Tell me, how many times has daddy Diavolo spanked you to force the Avatar of Pride to humiliate himself in front of a human?” You smirk mockingly.

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” Lucifer pins you to the wall, squeezing your neck with one hand. It’s getting extremely hard to breathe, but the demon uses just enough force to keep you one step away from starting to choke to death. Shit, you don’t have any weapons on you, so all you can do is punch him with your hands. But it doesn’t have any effect on him. “I don’t understand you,” he whispers, his face is too close. “How can such a pathetic, weak creature bring so much chaos? All the demons, who are much stronger, smarter than you, they obey. They tremble in fear and kneel before ME. But you… You dare to challenge me. ME. You constantly test my patience, embarrassing ME in front of my family and Diavolo. You have no power, but you think that you can do anything you please? That you can stand in MY way?” Lucifer moves even closer. His hand on your neck grows out claws, they now scratch your skin. “One movement, and your neck will break in half. Like those forks. Maybe even easier…” He stares into your eyes, enjoying your pain.

But you won’t show Lucifer what he really wants. Fear. If he wishes to break your spirit, he has chosen the wrong tactic. You stopped fearing pain and death a very long time ago.

“Kill me, Lucy,” you wheeze with a smirk, taunting the demon. “And then, it’ll be your ultimate defeat. Because after my death you’ll lose everything: Diavolo’s trust, the love of your brothers, respect of other demons. Show me how the Avatar of Pride breaks apart because of a 'pathetic' human. Give me a good laugh.”

Lucifer looks at you, visibly trying to control himself, but you see that he’s at a breaking point. Your smile gets wider. You stare in the face of your death, but your chest shakes from laughter. His claws dig even deeper.

And then it gets almost impossible to breathe. But not because his grip becomes tighter. Lucifer’s lips cover your mouth, preventing air from getting into you.

Lucifer kisses you.

…

Huh? 

His hand moves from your neck to the chest, pinning you to the wall even more. The demon doesn’t let you catch a breath, intruding into your mouth with a tongue. You have no idea what is happening, but you know that you don’t like the position you’re in. Using the fact that Lucifer is too concentrated on your lips, you abruptly jerk forward, grab his torso, and turn around with him. Now it’s him who’s pinned to the wall. Much better.

You don’t let Lucifer protest, grabbing his hair in a fist and moving his head closer. You feel him growl into the kiss. So you bite him as hard as you can. Lucifer quivers, he puts his hands on your back and leaves deep wounds with his claws. You feel blood running down, yet another uniform is completely ruined. Your breath twitches, you push the demon closer to a wall, trying to fixate him in place. Lucifer bites you back, now a little stream of blood runs down your chin as well. You tighten your grip on his hair and forcibly raise his head, exposing a white neck. Your teeth bite deeply, attempting to do as much damage as possible. Lucifer trembles and moans quietly.

You both freeze. Growling, biting, and grabbing - all of this is fine. Violence is fine, that’s how it should be between you two. But moaning… It doesn’t fit, it’s not about violence, it’s about… Something forbidden, difficult. Something scary. This little, vulnerable sound returns you both to reality.

Lucifer’s face completely changes, defensively scowling and baring sharp teeth. One strong push, and you fly backwards across the whole room, landing right into the piano. The musical instrument catches your body with dissatisfied melodic tink. The fact that your back is wounded by Lucifer’s claws makes the landing even nastier. You slowly rise up, groaning and swearing, but when you lift your eyes, you realize that the demon is already gone. What a fucker.

You look at the clock: the classes have already started. The other brothers should be gone by now. You start wobbling toward the bathroom to patch up your back, neck, and lips somehow, when you’re stopped by a doorbell. You wait for some time, hoping that Lucifer will open the door instead of you. But it seems that he ran away all the way to RAD, so you have to go and meet a guest.

“Good morn…” Simeon greets you with a wide smile, which slowly disappears as he sees your state. “Tiel, what happened?!”

“Fell from the stairs,” you shrug. You know damn well that you’re not fooling anyone, but telling the truth is not an option. A tasty-smelling object in Simeon’s hands grabs your attention. “What’s that?”

“It’s a cake… I wanted to express my gratitude… For Luke and… Ugh, what am I saying?!” The angel mumbles at first, inspecting your wounds, but then, suddenly, gets frustrated. He storms inside the house, leaving the cake somewhere on a coffee table. Simeon gently, yet firmly takes your hand and leads you to the couch. After he makes you sit down, the angel lands right near you and turns your back toward him. You feel a warm, soothing sensation; Simeon’s hands caress your wounds, making them heal under his touch. “Does this feel better?”

“Definitely,” you sigh, closing the eyes. The healing process itself is rather pleasant, but the fact that it’s Simeon who does that makes the situation even better. Especially since he took off his gloves.

“It’s the first time I see the pact marks,” the angel says quietly, his fingers touch the carved lines on your skin. He seems genuinely curious, but aren’t angels supposed to view pacts as something sinful? Dirty? “Oh, I see the new one, much lower than the first two.”

“It’s Beel’s,” you reply. Everybody will know anyway, sooner or later, so there is no need to keep secrets.

“I see… You’re definitely making impressive progress.”

“Progress? I thought angels must be against such things.”

“Not necessarily. At least, not me. There are different circumstances for each case of a pact between a human and a demon. Yours are definitely… unique, so it doesn’t surprise me that you’re making pacts.” Simeon thoughtfully caresses your back, even though it’s already healed. The marks on your skin fascinate him. “What is most surprising is that you manage to do it that fast, with several most powerful demons, and without losing your soul. Very few humans avoid losing their souls, you know. That’s why angels may judge such… bonding. But unconditional pacts are not so blameworthy for others.”

“So you wouldn’t blame a human even if they sold their soul?”

“No. You know why a human decides to make a pact with a demon?”

“For power and wealth?” you assume.

“You would think so, but it’s actually not such a popular demand. Humans use pacts as a last resort when there is no other way to get what they desire. Revenge, justice, escape from a difficult life… Most people have a very good reason for selling their souls. How can I possibly judge their decision? I’ve never been in their shoes.” Simeon moves his hands on your neck, his divine powers start to tickle a little. You shiver, making the angel smile. He removes all the traces of Lucifer’s hands and claws.

Lastly, he puts his fingers on your lips, making wounds from demonic fangs disappear. You can’t hold back a shaky sigh when you feel his fingers on your face. You want to kiss them, but don’t want to scare the angel off. So you close your eyes once again, concentrating on the pleasant sensations. Being touched by Simeon like that… You feel blessed.

Unfortunately, as soon as all the damage to your body is averted, the angel takes away his touch. It makes you so incredibly sad that you gently snatch his hand, stopping it midway. Before you can process what the hell you’re doing, you return his hand to your lips and gently kiss it.

“Thank you,” you say, raising your eyes. “You’re incredible, Simeon.”

To be honest, you hoped to embarrass the angel just a little. But he’s tougher than you think.

“It’s the least I can do after you saved Luke,” Simeon hides amused sparks in his blue eyes behind a kind smile. “I want you to know that you can count on my help with anything. My gratitude doesn’t stop on a cake and several healed wounds. Also, if you need someone to talk to, I’m always ready to listen,” he says, looking at your neck that was bruised and scratched just a minute ago.

Simeon is clearly worried about you, but there isn’t much you can tell him. You can’t let the angel intervene in whatever is going on between you and Lucifer. It’ll only complicate things. You’ll manage on your own. In comparison to some humans you know, Lucifer is the kindest creature in all three worlds.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you smile with gratitude. “By the way, how did you know that I’m here? The classes already stated; aren’t you supposed to go to RAD as well?”

“Oh, didn’t you hear? Diavolo gave you a day off, to restore energy after everything that happened. The brothers should have told you.”

“I guess they didn’t have much time to bring it up,” you shrug. “Well, that’s cool, I could use a day off.”

“As for why I’m here… I’m going to have a meeting with Michael, we have a lot to discuss. So I have to skip classes as well.” Simeon becomes serious, the upcoming meeting makes him nervous.

“This meeting… Is it something we should worry about?”

“No, it’s okay.” A smile returns to the angel’s face. “Not going to lie, this conversation won’t be pleasant, but nothing critical, for sure. You've prevented a very possible disaster, Tiel,” Simeon leans closer and hugs you. “I can’t thank you enough,” he whispers in your ear and interrupts the hug as quickly as he initiated it. Simeon gets up and heads to the door, saying his goodbyes: “I have to go now. I hope you’ll like the cake, I think it turned out wonderfully. Have a great day!” The door closes behind him, and now you’re completely alone.

As much as you wish to try out the cake, the breakfast was too intense, so you have no space inside of you left. There is also no fridge in the house, so you have to leave a meal somewhere, like… Wait.

You’re not completely alone. There is someone else in the house. You raise your head, staring at the ceiling. There wasn’t much time for you to think about Belphie after your one and only meeting, but maybe you should. The demon had several days to consider his options, there is a chance that he might accept your conditions. It would be ideal to make the pact with all the brothers, including Belphie. According to Beel and Lucifer, the youngest isn’t the biggest fan of the exchange program. You got the impression that he mostly hates humans, but maybe angels piss him off as well, after everything that happened to Lilith.

How deep does this hatred go? Does he despise being locked up more than making a pact with a human? There is only one way to find out. Nobody is at home, Lucifer won’t stop you. But nobody will save you, either, if things go south. You need to touch him to make a pact. Belphie can tear off your arm and let you bleed out to death. Still, you have to try. You want to help Beel, he needs his little brother. And you need a pact.

You rise to your feet, take the cake, and run to your bedroom. You make sure to take the phone and all your weapons, and with that, you go to the attic.

It’s awfully quiet in here. Belphie is the Avatar of Sloth, you recall, he must be sleeping. You approach the door and sit on the floor in front of it. You stare at the cake in your hands, then at the door. There is a small space beneath the bars, you can push the food right into the demon’s room. You decide that the best option is to do it now, while he’s sleeping somewhere.

Once the deed is done, you knock on the door, making the metallic sound spread across the attic. There is a commotion on the other side, you successfully woke the demon up. You hear his steps, slow and cautious. And then you see him.

Belphie doesn’t look good. He was messy the first time he summoned you, but that’s a whole other level. Did he think that you would never come again, that his chance for rescue was gone? If so, that’s perfect for you.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, standing at a distance from the door.

“Brought you some cake,” you reply, peeking into the room. It’s not as bad as you thought, it doesn’t look like a prison cell at all. You can see the room only partially, but it looks rather comfy.

“Why? Want to poison me?” Belphie scowls, suspiciously examining the food.

“Oh, I can do that? I assumed that demons can digest pretty much everything after I saw what Beel eats on a daily basis,” you grin, but the demon is still frowning. “Relax, baby boy, it’s safe. I just don’t feel like eating, that’s all. Does Lucifer even feed you?”

“…He sends food with magic.” Belphie slowly sits on the floor and takes the cake in his hands. It smells deliciously, even if he won’t eat in front of you, he’ll definitely get to it later. “I doubt that you came just to bring me that,” he says, looking at you and putting the cake away.

“That’s right. I came to ask whether you considered my offer.”

“I considered,” Belphie nods, his eyes light up with anger. “And my answer is still no.”

“Yeah, as I thought. I heard that you don’t like humans very much, so the pact is not a trivial matter to you.”

“You put it very lightly. I would tear apart every human in existence if I had a chance,” the demon smirks, looking smug as hell.

“What a charmer,” you smirk back. “And you played a poor, innocent prisoner so well. What happened to all the act?”

“I don’t need it, you won’t help me anyway,” he frowns.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. You may suck at asking for help nicely, but there is someone I care about a lot.”

“Who?” Belphie starts listening to you more attentively.

“Beel, of course. He is very likeable, don’t you think?”

“…I’m surprised that someone like you managed to see something in him. You don’t look like a perceptive person.” Belphie’s face softens a little bit once you start talking about his brother. You must use this weakness.

“He’s amazing. And he saved me yesterday from Lucifer’s claws. So I kind of feel obligated to help him out.” You start your mind game. Mammon was also there, but you need to make Beel the main character of your story. “Do you know what happened yesterday?”

“No, but I felt the whole house shaking.” Belphie looks slightly worried. Good.

“There was a fight between Lucifer and Beel. Don’t worry, though, Beel is fine. Well, physically.” You put on a sad face. The demon listens to your every word. “Mentally, though… The whole thing was very rough. It all started a couple of days ago when Beel was arguing with Lucifer. He wanted to persuade Lucifer to send you back home. Beel offered to take your place, he was worried that you had to be in a world full of creatures you hate so much.”

“What a dummy…” Belphie smiles, but quickly frowns again once he notices you watching. “What happened next?”

“Lucifer refused, of course, licked Diavolo’s ass a couple of times, but then… Damn, even I was shocked. He told Beel to choose between him and you.”

“What?!” Belphie yells, eyes wide with rage.

“I know, right? Beel was so overwhelmed that he didn’t know what to say. But it didn’t stop there.” You lie with ease, playing with Belphie’s emotions. “Yesterday was another fight, part of the house is completely ruined. Beel grows more restless with each passing day. Your other brothers may have accepted that you were sent away, but Beel hasn’t. He demanded answers, but Lucifer refused to tell the truth. They started arguing, this time much more violently. I got caught in the crossfire, so Beel had to save me.” You sigh: “It’s getting worse with each day. There isn’t much time left before they’ll try to kill each other for real. And I’m afraid… I’m afraid that Beel won’t be able to win.” You stare at Belphie, examining his reactions. The demon hides his eyes behind his bangs, but you can see his lips trembling. Perfect. “Look, I know what you think of me and humans in general. But Beelzebub saved my ass, and I’m not an ungrateful bastard. I may be useless in a fight against Lucifer, but I want to help him return you. He needs you, Belphie.”

“Then… Then just make the pacts, damn it!” The demon yells at you. “If you want to help him, just try to make the pacts! And release me!”

“I’d love to. But I want to survive in the process.” You give him a kind smile. “You just told me that you want to tear apart all humans. And that includes me, no doubt. I need a pact purely to be able to protect myself from you, nothing more. So, let me help Beel, Belphie. Let me help you.”

You can see how hard it is for Belphie to make a decision like this. His hatred for humans fights with love for Beel. He clenches his fists and breathes heavily.

“…Fine,” he whispers. Belphie looks at you once again, with disgust and anger, as always. But now you can see something new: determination. “I’ll make a pact with you, human. I won’t ask for your soul, but I’ll ask for a promise. You’ll promise that you’ll get me out of here, then we’re even.”

“Hm, fine,” you nod and take out your phone.

“What are you doing?” the demon asks nervously.

“Don’t mind me, just opening Lucifer’s contact. You know, to be able to call him if you decide to mess with me. I bet it’s really tempting to harm me, so I want to play it as safe as possible.” You charmingly grin at the demon, making him twist his face in fury.

“Then stop tempting me and let’s get this over with.” He stretches his arm and offers you a hand. You take it, announcing:

“If you make a pact with me, I promise to try to get you out of this attic. Do you accept the deal?” You look at the nervous demon, worrying if he noticed your little trick.

“I accept.” Belphie squeezes your hand. Good, he was too agitated to notice. You feel a familiar pain spreading throughout your whole body. It concentrates right beneath Beel’s mark, right on… Right on…

“Pffft! Hahaha!” You start laughing maniacally, despite the pain.

“What?! What happened?!”

“Damn… Belphie… Out of all the places, your mark appeared right on my… Holy hell, it’s too funny…” You try to catch your breath.

“Where?! Where is it?” The demon gets angry once again, he hates that you laugh at him.

“You marked my butt, baby boy,” you cackle loudly. What a suitable place for this jerk. You hope Lucifer’s mark will appear on an even nastier place.

“Bullshit!” Belphie yells, grabbing the bars. “Show me!”

“Oh? Want to see my ass, already? Maybe invite me for dinner first?” You smirk, enjoying his reactions.

“Shut up, and show me the mark!”

“All right, all right, jeez. Relax.” You smile, turn around, lower your pants and lift your shirt. Belphie’s mark appeared right where your butt crack starts. It now occupies both sides of your ass cheeks, right on the top. So far, all the marks appeared in order, so Belphie, as the youngest one, got rather unlucky. There’s only so much space along your spine.

“That’s… that can’t be happening…” The demon stares at your butt in disbelief.

“And if I do this…” You lean forward, making your ass cheeks split.

“STOP! Stop doing that!” you hear a terrified scream.

“But look! The mark breaks apart into two pieces! Does it even work? Why did it appear on such a strange spot? Does it represent that you’re an asshole?!” You continue cackling.

“YOU’RE THE ONLY ASSHOLE HERE!” Belphie screams, making you laugh even more. “Get out of here, now! You make me sick! Better get busy with making pacts, douchebag!”

“That’s what I get for bringing you the cake,” you grin and get up from the floor. “Fine, I’ll let you know if I make any progress.”

“Wait!” Belphie stops you before you get to the stairs. “The mark above mine… Is it Beel’s?”

“Oh, yeah, it happened today. Kinda funny, both twins made a pact on the same day,” you smile at the demon. “Only three to go. Don’t worry, I was genuine when I said that I want to help Beel. If it means that I have to help you out, so be it. See you later, baby boy,” you wave at him and go down the stairs.

***

You spend the rest of the day hanging out with Cerbie and doing homework. The hole he made earlier is covered with some kind of barrier, so you can’t take him for a walk. Maybe it’s for the best. The House feels empty without the noisy brothers, but you enjoy the silence. When the brothers finally get back, they don’t come alone.

“Oh, hi there,” you greet Diavolo and Barbatos in the hall.

“Hello, Castiel!” Diavolo smiles widely at you, Barbatos bows silently, as always. All the brothers stay in the hall as well, waiting for something. “I just decided to come by, and personally deliver the message, since you stayed at home today. I hope you got some rest!”

“Yeah, thanks. Is everything all right?” you ask cautiously. If the prince decided to visit the House personally, this must be important.

“Yes, not to worry! The crisis is averted, without a doubt!” Diavolo smiles and focuses his attention on everyone in the room: “I came to announce that tomorrow is the start of the group retreat at the castle. I’m planning an exchange party between demons, angels, and humans. I have a feeling that this will turn out to be quite an interesting experience for all of us.”

Everyone seems as shocked as you are, excluding Barbatos.

“Maybe for you,” Lucifer sighs, “but for me, it’s simply going to mean more headaches.”

“Now, now, don’t say that, Lucifer,” Diavolo smiles brightly at his friend.

“That’s certainly Lord Diavolo’s style to announce such news so suddenly,” Satan frowns.

“So demons, angels, and humans are all going to get together and take part in a retreat?” Asmo chirps with excitement. “Nothing like that has ever happened before, has it?”

“No, indeed not.” Diavolo looks just as excited as Asmo. “But there has to be the first time for everything. And all of you are going to be present to witness this particular first.”

“A group retreat?” Mammon winces. “Just the fact that you’d call it that tells me it’s gonna be a huge hassle.”

“Will there be food? Good food?” Beel asks some real questions here. A life without a functioning kitchen is hard.

“I’ll let Barbatos tell you all the details.” Diavolo steps aside, letting his butler do the talking.

“The duration of the retreat will be two days in total,” Barbatos starts explaining. “So, if you had any plans, kindly cancel them. You’ll be attending several events, including a dinner party and a formal dance. We’ll provide everything needed for all the guests, including food.” Beel happily nods to that.

“I have a question,” you decide to intrude. “Do you think it’s really a good idea? Isn’t it… too soon?” After yesterday’s fiasco, there must be a lot of tension between everybody. You’re afraid that this retreat can end up as another disaster.

“I understand your concerns,” Diavolo smiles, “but I think that it’s just what we all need. Living in different households makes it difficult for the demons to bond with other exchange students. I hope that this retreat can help us all get to know each other better. And,” the prince turns toward the brothers, “I want to make myself clear: I won’t tolerate anything remotely similar to what happened yesterday. Any fights with the exchange students are strictly forbidden. I thought it was obvious, but I suppose that I need to say it aloud.” Diavolo stares at Lucifer. He doesn’t sound angry or hostile, but you can still feel the weight of his words. Lucifer can only nod in reply. “And one more thing… Barbatos, please.”

“Yes, Young Master,” the butler says, approaching you with a stack of uniforms. His hands were empty just a second ago. “Please, accept these uniforms. We brought five sets, so we hope it’ll be enough for at least a month.”

“Thank you,” you smile, taking your new clothes. One headache less. Though you think that the part about one month was too optimistic.

“We have to go now, but we’ll see you tomorrow at the castle.” Diavolo and Barbatos say their goodbyes, and then leave the House.

The dinner is rather peaceful, primarily because Lucifer decides to eat alone in his room. There is food from some restaurant once again, but you hope that your next dinner in the House of Lamentation will be homemade. Your room and the kitchen should be repaired while you’ll be on retreat.

After a play session with Levi, Mammon, and Beel (Levi destroyed all of you), you go to bed. Finally, you have a chance to think about everything that happened. Mainly about Lucifer. You avoided this subject the whole day, but it’s necessary to think everything through.

Was there any sexual tension between you before the kiss happened? Well… Maybe? You can’t deny that Lucifer is a good-looking bastard, but his attitude successfully scared away any lustful thoughts. The demon, apparently, kind of likes you. For some reason. He has this weird habit of breathing right into your face when he scolds you. And he was checking out your naked torso very attentively on your first day here. But you thought he was planning to decapitate you, not to kiss.

Maybe the pact with him is not as impossible as you thought. But you remember his face just before he threw you on the piano… Maybe Lucifer was drunk, or high, or something like that. He clearly regrets his actions, so it won’t happen again.

Unless you’ll challenge his self-control. Well, it’s sort of your specialization at this point, so it’ll happen sooner or later. What an exciting gamble: Lucifer will either kill you or try to bite off your lips again. Maybe both. Anyway, this new side of the oldest brother seems promising, you’ll try to exploit it.

All for the sake of saving the world, of course. But the more you repeat it, the less you believe in this reasoning. You smirk and fall asleep, wondering if Lilith tries to contact you in your sleep again.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
"What's going on?"

4 Non Blondes – What’s Up?

You didn’t meet her this time. But you felt her presence in your dream nonetheless. You tried to reach out to her, but your consciousness was separated from hers by some kind of barrier. Like some impenetrable fog or a fabric that cannot be torn through. The barrier kept you away from her, but why it appeared in the first place is unknown. Was it protecting you from this woman? Did she want to hide from you? Or did this obstacle serve another goal entirely? Either way, you have to hope that this barrier won’t be there next time.

You wake up easily, but your sleepy brain has a hard time recognizing why your body feels so hot yet cozy. Hugging with Beel already became a common occurrence, but seeing him in your bed, uninvited, that’s something new. Well, it’s his bed, of course, but you’re sleeping here, yet he decided to join you. The demon didn’t allow himself to envelop you with his whole body, like Mammon did earlier. Beel holds you with his arms only, avoiding hugging you too tight. He wants to feel your warmth but is scared to accidentally hurt you.

That’s a very heartwarming concern, but you’re not a porcelain vase. Beel didn’t even press you against his chest, keeping you at arm's length. That won’t do. Using the fact that the demon is still sleeping, you decide to switch positions. You move closer, snuggling against his entire body. Your hands snatch his waist, your legs squeeze his thighs, and your face presses against Beel’s tits. Perfect. But it can be even better. You pull his body closer, using all your strength, putting the demon almost fully on you. Beel is your blanket now.

It’s getting hard to breathe under all this weight, but do you care? Definitely not. You bury your nose into Beel’s boobs, enjoying his smell. You’re lucky that he didn’t wake up after you moved him around so much. The demon continues snoring somewhere above your head, you can feel the vibrations in his chest. His arms finally hug you more tightly. You feel so small under this big boy, it’s a new but pleasant sensation. You've never had partners as huge as Beel. Sparring partners, maybe. But not in a romantic sense. You've been missing out, for sure.

Beelzebub is not your partner, though. The realization hits you like a ton of bricks. What the hell are you doing?! It’s the same shit as with Mammon, you can’t play with someone’s emotions simply because you’re horny. You can’t date either Mammon or Beel. Or Levi, for that matter. You have enough problems on top of problems; dating is not something you can add to this mix. The only people who can give you sex without romantic involvement are Asmo and Solomon.

Asmo, since he is the literal Avatar of Lust. And Solomon, because… Because he just seems like a person who doesn’t care much about such things. But it’s your point of view. You never really discussed it with him.

Oh, shit. You never spoke with Solomon. You just gifted him a bouquet, then drunk that beverage of his, and you fucked. That’s all. Does he think that you two are dating? Or does he have the same idea as you? With all the madness that surrounds you every day, there wasn’t much time for a private talk. You should fix this as soon as possible.

You don’t concern yourself with Asmo. He’s the embodiment of Lust, he can’t possibly think that you are now his boyfriend, right? The demon has dozens of partners, no doubt. You must be one of many, so you decide to concentrate exclusively on Solomon, for now.

Damn, emotions are hard. But you know for sure: making things even more complicated would be a mistake. No matter how much you actually want it. So you carefully wiggle your way from under Beel’s body and escape the room. It’s an early morning already, but no one is awake, except for you. That’s a rare opportunity to run some laps around the house, take a shower in peace, and visit Cerbie. He looks as energetic as ever, and you love to see it. The beast lifts your spirits high enough to live through another couple of days, no doubt, full of crazy shit, as always.

A group retreat is on the agenda, another Diavolo’s brilliant idea. In theory, it could be fun, but you’re the kind of person who always prepares for the worst. And so far, this strategy has never let you down.

All the demonic brothers are awfully excited about this little adventure. Even the ones who didn’t support it at first, like Mammon and Levi. Everybody’s baggage is enormous: food to eat, clothes to wear, figurines to take care of, books to read… Mammon also brought a huge bag, but it’s almost empty. You wonder if it stays this way after the retreat: there are a lot of things in the castle that Mammon can "borrow". The only ones who kept their luggage reasonably small were you and Lucifer. The demon decided to ignore your existence completely, just like Asmo earlier. Well, this strategy didn’t help Asmo, so Lucifer won’t benefit from it either.

Not that you want to fix things with him. You would gladly forget about the demon as well, but if this cold war continues for too long, you will never make a pact. Your neck and back still have phantom pains from Lucifer’s claws, even after Simeon’s healing. Yeah, you doubt that you can survive at least one night in Lucifer’s bed, so seducing is not an option. But you still hope that it’ll work with Asmo. Bullying Lucifer into the pact, as it was with Mammon and Belphie, is also a bad idea, you won’t survive that as well. The only option is to use the power of friendship and companionship, like with Levi and Beel. But you don’t think that Lucifer is capable of feeling something like that, especially toward your humble persona. Still, it’s not like you have a choice.

When all the demons and their luggage are ready, you all start marching to the castle. It feels bizarre: many years ago, when you were in the orphanage, you were going to different events and excursions with other children. This situation seems rather similar, but instead of other children, you’re surrounded by deadly demonic creatures. Yet, the demons act just like the orphans you knew.  

“Was it necessary to get up so early?” Mammon sighs, struggling to keep his eyes open. He yawns loudly with an open mouth, not even trying to cover it.

“I bet he just wants to get to Lord Diavolo quicker than the exchange students,” Satan grumbles: Lucifer didn’t let him take all the books he wanted.

“Can we go a little bit slower?” Levi raises his hand, breathing heavily. “My shut-in body is not suitable for such intense walking.”

“I want to visit the café over there, they offer breakfast for half a price,” Beel offers, trying not to look at the bag full of food in his hands.

“Oh, I heard their breakfast is so Devilgrammable! We should go!” Asmo supports this idea, making Beel’s eyes shine with hope.

“Agreed. Heeeey, Lucy, I need to go to the toilet,” you whine, attempting to piss the eldest demon off. You won’t let him ignore you. “Let’s check out this café really quick.” 

“No.” Lucifer growls without looking at your bunch. It will be a very long retreat.

You look around, examining the surroundings: it’s the same part of the city that was destroyed two days ago. It looks much better now: the brothers’ hard work wasn’t in vain. But of course, Spicy News didn’t let it slide that easily: the whole family, including you, was blamed for every crack in the concrete and buildings. Interviews with poor victims, who got even the tiniest cuts from broken windows, filled the pages of the newspaper. Diavolo wasn’t directly called guilty of the disaster, but the trustworthiness of the Seven Rulers was questioned many times. It was a reputational catastrophe, so it doesn’t surprise you that Diavolo decided to organize the retreat that quickly. Your guess is that the formal dance will be a demonstrative event, where you all need to showcase the strength of the bond between the three worlds. A huge risk, as always, but Diavolo likes dangerous games. You have no intention to sabotage anything on purpose, but you have a feeling that everything will go downhill even without your efforts.

Once your group gets to the castle, you’re greeted by smiling Barbatos. You’re jealous of him sometimes: being a spectator of the brothers’ shenanigans must be more fun than being the active participant. And less traumatic, both for body and mental health.

“Welcome, welcome!” Diavolo meets you with a large grin. It’s the first time you visit a castle, especially a demonic one. Everything looks extremely expensive and valuable, no comfort at all. You wouldn’t want to live in such a place. It doesn’t look suitable for Diavolo either, it must be lonely here. “I’m glad that you all could make it! We’ll wait for the exchange students to arrive, then we’ll be free to start.”

“Of course we came earlier. Lucifer was runnin’ here like his life depended on it,” Mammon mumbles, yawning once again.

“Shhh!” Levi hisses at the demon, making him shut up. Nobody wants to start another fight this early in the morning.

“Castiel!” you hear a ringing, joyful voice behind your back, just before something crushes into you at full speed. The impact was so sudden that you lose your balance, so you have to grab the nearest demon for support. Unfortunately, the nearest demon was Levi. As soon as you touch him, he starts screeching and running away, leaving you to the mercy of gravity. Satan catches you by the back of your collar last second, preventing you from meeting the floor.

“Thanks,” you breathe out, returning to the standing position, and turn the head around to see who hangs on your back like a fucking koala. It’s Luke, who is much heavier than you expected. He didn’t notice that he almost dropped you on the floor. The angel starts chirping right in your ear, causing a headache:

“I’m so glad that you’re all right! I was so worried! I didn’t even have a chance to thank you properly! I wanted to meet you at the Academy, but you were at home, and Simeon said, that it wouldn’t be smart to come to the House of the Lamentation again. So he went there alo- Mhm!” The endless talking is finally interrupted by Simeon’s hand, which he puts on little angel’s mouth.

“That’s quite enough, Luke,” he smiles politely, gently dragging the little angel off your back. Simeon almost effortlessly lifts him with one arm and puts on the ground. Wow. You start simping again. The memory of these hands on your skin appears in your mind, and you lose your concentration for several seconds. Simeon gives everyone in the room a warm smile, but you want to believe that he smiled at you the brightest. “We hope we aren’t too late.”

You notice Solomon right behind the angel and wave at him. The sorcerer waves at you in return, grinning politely, as usual.

“You’re just in time, don’t worry!” Diavolo replies as friendly as possible. “Since everyone is here, our group retreat officially begins! First of all, let’s discuss the rooms. Barbatos, please, do the honors.”

“Yes, Young Master.” Barbatos bows and starts his announcement. “All the participants will be divided into groups of three. Each group will have its own room. First group: Simeon, Satan, and Leviathan. Second group: Beelzebub, Mammon, and Luke. Third: Solomon, Asmodeus, and me. And the last, but not least: Lord Diavolo, Lucifer, and Castiel.”

…

Well, shit. All teams are more or less reasonable, especially the first one: those nerds will babble about TSL non-stop. But being Lucifer’s roommate… Sounds like a sick joke. You were not the only one who thought about this.

“HEY! What the hell?!” Mammon is the first one to express his dissatisfaction. “Cas is in MY team, got it?!”

“I doubt that it’s the right decision. Tiel should be in any other group,” Simeon frowns, staring at your neck. It’s perfectly fine now, but it looked awful just yesterday.

“I think he’ll have much more fun with us. Don’t you agree, Solomon?” Asmo winks at the sorcerer. Solomon only smirks and nods, gazing at you. Wow, now that’s tempting.

“I’m sorry, but the decision is final, and it’s not open for discussion,” Diavolo says with a charming smile. He crosses his arms and looks around, to make sure that nobody argues with him. It’s impossible to change his mind when he becomes stubborn like this. “The members of each group have the best synergy, which will help us reach the goal of improving our relationships in record time…”

“Best synergy? Me and Lucifer?” You rudely interrupt Diavolo’s speech with a question. He must be joking.

“Can’t see why not,” Diavolo grins. “While all the groups have great potential, we can’t ignore the existing problems either. Some issues are simply more… transparent than others.” The prince glances at Lucifer, who kept quiet this entire time. The look on his face stays as emotionless as possible, the demon won’t dare criticize Diavolo’s decisions. “… But I’m sure that by working together, we’ll overcome any obstacle!”

Both you and Lucifer let out a heavy sigh. Well, it’s not like you will be with him alone in the room, so you’ll probably survive. If it gets too unbearable, you can always escape to any other group.

“As a part of cultural exchange…” Barbatos continues, as he wasn’t interrupted at all. “… each breakfast will be prepared by representatives of all the Three Worlds. For today, I cooked some classical meals of the demonic cuisine. Tomorrow, we will have angelic food for breakfast, and the day after that – human dishes.”

“Wait, all the exchange students have to cook?!” You didn’t expect that you’d be forced to work in the kitchen. So far, you didn’t need to do anything at all, the brothers cooked themselves. But ever since the kitchen was destroyed, you have eaten only food from restaurants and cafés. You can manage to do something simple, like fried eggs or spaghetti, but nothing too impressive. And while the food will be good enough for you, nobody will find it delicious, for sure.

“Don’t worry,” Solomon approaches you and puts his hand on your shoulder. Mammon growls at this gesture. “I’m actually not bad at cooking, so I’ll deal with it. I’ll just need your assistance in the kitchen, that’s all.”

“Oh, I can manage that,” you smile at him with gratitude. Feeding so many mouths at a time will be tough, so it’s great to have a backup.

“So, when do we have that demonic breakfast you were talking about?” Beel asks; he has been restless since the food was first mentioned.

“Right after we’ll visit our rooms,” Diavolo responds and heads toward the stairs. “Me and Barbatos will show you the bedrooms. This way, please.”

During a short tour, you get closer to Mammon and whisper into his ear:

“I have a special mission for you.”

“Another dumb idea, as always?”

“Yeah,” you nod honestly.

“Okay, let’s hear it,” Mammon smirks.

“Teach Luke how to swear.”

“Wha?! Ya want to get me killed by Simeon or somethin’?” the demon protests quietly.

“It’s necessary for self-defense. Imagine if Lucy gets him cornered again: a swearing angel will give the bastard such a shock that it’ll buy us some time to rescue Luke. We barely managed to get to him last time.”

“Ya just think that swearin' angel is hella funny,” Mammon sighs.

“…Yeah,” you nod honestly again.

“I’ll see what I can do. But if I get caught, I’m blamin’ ya!”

“Deal.” You ruffle his white hair, making him blush. You wish you could do it regularly, but you’re trying to be mindful about your actions. No need to give Mammon any hope. You’re here for only a year, after all.

“I have a mission for ya too,” the demon leans closer with a mysterious sparkle in his eyes.

“I’m all ears.”

“Get a photo of sleeping Lucifer.” Mammon’s breath tickles your face. The smell of raspberry toothpaste, how familiar.

“What for?”

“Ya have zero imagination! There are lots of fans of Lucifer, ya know. We can make a fortune just by sellin’ his pics to those stupid freaks. Get him sleepin’ or naked – and all the money of those fans will be ours,” Mammon smirks, putting a hand on your shoulder. The same spot Solomon touched earlier.

“I like your way of thinking,” you smirk back. “Consider it done.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“Hey, lovebirds!” You hear Asmo’s irritated voice. “How about you make more space between your bodies, hm?”

“I can’t believe that you can flirt in public so shamelessly!” Levi hisses, staring at Mammon’s hand on your shoulder with hatred. “Stupid normies, you both make me sick!”

Beel silently grabs Mammon from the back and moves him farther from you. He doesn’t say anything, but you can see that he’s just as annoyed as everybody else. You never got a chance to ask Beel why he came to your bed this night. But you think that you know the answer already.

This shit is too complicated. You just want to survive, make some pacts to save the world, and maybe fuck a couple of sexy guys in the process. Nothing more. But the demons act like they have much bigger plans for you. That makes you nervous. You were never good at all this love nonsense. And now you have to deal with several guys at a time? With several ancient, powerful creatures?! You appreciate a good joke, but fate throws these kinds of hilarious jests at you constantly. You would be grateful for a little break, but it seems you won’t get it.

“Hey! Let go!” Mammon wiggles in Beel’s grip, trying to break free. “It’s not for ya, losers, to decide how and when I can touch MY human!”

“Excuse me?! 'Your human'?!” Asmo raises his voice. “Oh, please, that’s just embarrassing, maybe even sad. So do yourself a favor and Shut. Your. Mouth. Tiel was never yours and never will be!”

“Oh, dear,” Simeon sighs heavily, closing Luke’s ears.

“That’s getting intense,” Solomon smirks, leaning on the wall.

“Cas is mine!... My servant, I mean! I’m his First! And last time I checked, ya didn’t even have a pact with him, Asmo! So shut your mouth, will ya?” Mammon yells.

“Servant?” You raise your brow, staring at the demon. You cross your arms, waiting for explanation.

“N-no… I mean…”

“See?” Levi joins the argument. “Cas, didn’t I tell you that Mammon is a waste of space and a scumbag?! Calling you a servant, how dare he! You clearly need someone more honorable and loyal, like… You know… For example…”

“Levi, shut it!” Mammon growls. “Ya can’t even speak or touch Cas properly, and ya really tryin’ to make him your b… Your servant?!”

“I don’t want to make him my servant, that’s the point!” Levi blushes with his whole body, but hisses and screeches as furiously as always.

“Mammon, what do mean by telling that you’re Castiel’s 'first'?...” Satan asks suddenly, frowning. He even seems to blush a little bit.

“He just means a pact, darling,” Asmo sighs and smiles at Mammon mockingly. “But if we are speaking about Tiel’s real 'firsts', then I suppose it’s…”

“How about we continue this conversation later?” Diavolo senses a dangerous topic coming and tries to avoid it at all costs. Asmo obeys and drops the subject, but he didn’t finish talking:

“And speaking of pacts, I think I’ll make one myself, Mammon. Tiel deserves to have at least one useful demon under his command.”

“NO, YOU WON’T!” Lucifer suddenly roars, making everybody instantly shut up. “For your own sake, Asmo, Satan, if I learn about any new pact, I’ll…”

“You what?” Satan turns his angry mode on. “We are free to make such decisions ourselves, Lucifer. If it bothers you that much, maybe I should consider a pact as well.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Breakfast is ready,” Barbatos appears out of nowhere, in the middle of the crowd. You didn’t even notice when he disappeared.

“Splendid!” Diavolo exclaims nervously, “Let’s eat first. You can’t have a good, friendly conversation on an empty stomach. Leave your bags right here, they will be in your rooms when you return.”

“Agreed,” Beel nods and starts marching toward the dining room, still holding Mammon in his arms. The greedy demon tries to break free, but it’s impossible, Beel has a very strong grip, you know from experience.

The rest of the bunch follows him, looking irritated and angry.

“Well, a great start to our retreat, don’t you think?” Diavolo walks right near you with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Yeah…” you sigh, feeling responsible for all the arguing. You had suspicions about Mammon’s feelings, but you didn’t realize that others might be into you as well. At least not to this degree. Seriously, what are the chances? At least Solomon stayed rather calm. It gives you hope that he doesn’t have any romantic feelings despite having sex with you. That would make everything at least a little bit easier. “Sorry for all this… noise.”

“I quite enjoy it, actually,” Diavolo smiles softly.

“What exactly? The arguing?”

“No, the noise. It gets really quiet here sometimes. Too quiet. From time to time, I wish I could live in the House of Lamentation as well.” The prince looks into the distance, perhaps dreaming about another, simpler life.

“We can switch places, easily,” you smirk, remembering your apartment in the Human world. “I prefer silence and loneliness, there was too much noise and crowds in my life.”

“And you never get lonely?”

“Not really. Maybe sometimes, but life quickly reminds me how shitty people actually are. Me included, of course. It’s easier to be alone.”

“Easier… But where is the fun in that?” Diavolo frowns. “I consider you a person who likes to have fun. Like myself. There is no joy in being alone.”

“Yeah, but you can have a great time with people you barely know. There’s no need to have anyone beside you all the time.”

“But when you share something amazing with another person, someone you really care about, the experience gets even more enjoyable. You can’t feel that with strangers. For example,” Diavolo gazes at Lucifer, who walks rather far from you. “There was a ball, for charity, that I had to attend alone. Neither Barbatos nor Lucifer could come with me. Basically, I could choose any other person in the room to spend my time with. They would gladly keep me company. But I didn’t, because I didn’t know any of them too well. And I didn't really have any desire to get to know them better. All I could think about was whether Lucifer would like the Demonus, or whether Barbatos would enjoy the music. I’d have a much better time if I had them with me.”

“Hm, you do have a point,” you mumble, thinking about other things entirely. You suddenly have a very dumb idea. Nothing new, really, but that’s something quite daring, even for you.

Lucifer’s concerns about pacts are fully understandable. If some kind of stranger appeared in your house and started enslaving your siblings, you wouldn’t be too happy either. If he starts guarding Asmo and Satan, you won’t be able to make pacts. What can you do in this situation? Cause a distraction. Your own romantic troubles gave you an idea of how you could make Lucifer think about something else entirely. About someone else.

You quickly glance at Diavolo: damn, he’s fine. He has a lot of good qualities, much more than bad ones. The prince is a real catch. But Lucifer is too stubborn to notice it properly. The Avatar of Pride likes men, that much you already know; that kiss is not easy to forget. And there is a good chance that Diavolo has some feelings for Lucifer. He spoke about Barbatos and Lucifer, like they were the only close people in his life. You don’t believe that there is something going on between the prince and his butler. But with Lucifer… You could easily imagine them together. That would be a pleasant sight. They didn’t end up as a couple after all those years of working together, sure. But maybe they just need a little push.

If you manage to get them together, it will be a win-win situation. Diavolo will be happier. Lucifer might become less unbearable after he gets laid. And he won’t have much time to look after his siblings. Additionally, you might improve your relationship with Lucifer as a result. Then, a pact with him might be more achievable.

But how can you make this happen? You can’t just close them in a room full of candles and roses and force them to confess their feelings to each other. They will just break the door. No, you can’t do it without the cooperation of at least one of them. The easiest option will be Diavolo, obviously. Lucifer would just bite your head off. You just need to make the prince believe that the relationship with Lucifer is something he desperately needs and desires. Even if it’s not true. It pains you to push Diavolo into Lucifer’s embrace, you would gladly handle the prince yourself. But sacrifices must be made for the greater good. Considering your current situation with the brothers, you shouldn’t be that greedy.

“Psst, Diavolo,” you whisper to the demon. He curiously tilts his head. “I want to have a talk with you later, in private.”

“Sure,” Diavolo smiles at you, intrigued by your offer.

The breakfast was relatively calm, if you don’t count the occasional growling and annoying teasing. Barbatos’ food was so tasty that everybody preferred eating instead of fighting. After that, you got a chance to finally get to your room.

The room is very simple, it's drastically different from the rest of the castle. Round walls, three beds, dressers, and shelves for clothes and other stuff. And zero personal space. Wonderful. You try to think positively: at least you’ll get to see semi-naked Diavolo, if you get lucky.

Lucifer puts all his stuff where it belongs with the speed of light. He then rushes out of the room, quickly announcing that he wants to check on his brothers. He really doesn’t allow himself to catch a break. But it’s very lucky for you, because you’re finally alone with Diavolo. He slowly puts all his personal things on the shelves, enjoying every moment of it. But as soon as he notices your attention, the demon stops and sits right next to you on the bed.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asks, waiting impatiently.

“Well… Okay, listen: what would you do if you saw two people, basically made for each other, who couldn’t start dating, for some reason?”

“Oh! You want to help someone start dating? How exciting!” Diavolo smiles brightly, supporting your idea. “I would love to help as well! So, who is our target?”

“Yeah, your help would make everything easier,” you smirk. “The target is you, Your Majesty.”

“Huh?” Diavolo asks with a smile, still processing your answer. But when he realizes what you just said, you get a rare chance to witness pure shock on his face. “Me? Why?”

“Didn’t you just say how lonely you feel?” You start persuading him. “What could be better than having a loving person beside you? The one that can support you, have fun with you,” you move slightly closer, for more emphasis, “share a bed with you? Won’t it be absolutely wonderful?” You ask with a smirk, watching how red Diavolo became. He imagined all too well everything you were describing. Amazing, the prince is not against the idea, clearly. Now you need to convince him that Lucifer is perfect for that role.

“I… Wow,” Diavolo breathes out a shaky laugh. “Didn’t expect you to be so persistent. You have a lot of nerve, speaking to me like this… and I like your nerve!” The prince stares at you with his golden, shining eyes, smiling happily. Too happy. What the hell is going on?

“Um, yeah, well, you know me, I’m quite determined when I want to be,” you smile awkwardly.

“Yes, and I absolutely adore this in you.” Diavolo nods seriously, taking your hand in his. Huh? Your brain can’t seem to process one simple thought; it crushes halfway through. “Your actions, personality, everything about you is so intriguing! The more I know about you, the more drawn to you I feel. And I can’t wait to get to know you even better!” The demon moves closer: “I’m so happy that you share my feelings, I…”

“Woah!” You jump to your feet, tearing the hand from his grip. Diavolo looks confused and… hurt? No, it can’t be right, you’re imagining things. “Look, man, there was some misunderstanding, okay? I only wanted to help you start dating Lucifer, not…” You almost said ‘not myself’, but you don’t want to say it aloud. If you say it, and Diavolo won’t deny it, you won’t be able to pretend that he was talking about an innocent, platonic friendship. 

“Lucifer?...” The demon lowers his head and hides his eyes. It takes him several seconds to straighten his posture and return the neutral look on his face. He looks almost completely normal now, that’s some impressive acting. “Why him, exactly?”

“For a simple observer like myself, you two seem perfect for each other.” You try to sound like you always do, but your voice is slightly shaking. “Like, he is always so gloomy and grumpy, and you’re so positive and smiling all the time. You two would complement each other.”

“Hm, makes sense,” Diavolo nods calmly, observing your every move. He is looking for something, in your words, your gestures. It makes you nervous, you don’t like to be studied like that. “But if we are so ideal for each other, why do you think we are still not together?”

“You two are hopeless workaholics, so you don’t speak about anything other than work. Or Lucifer is just too stubborn to consider you as a potential partner. Or you are too shy to make the first move. Or politics. Or something else entirely,” you mumble quickly. “Either way, as a simple observer, who has nothing to do with any of you, I think you two would be a great power couple.”

Diavolo tilts his head. He looks so unusual without his smile. He is always smiling, it’s his thing. But now he doesn’t, because of you. Shit, next time you get another genius idea, you better forget it instantly.

“I see,” he says quietly. “But you’re not being completely honest with me. Why would you suddenly decide to make us a couple? What is your real goal?”

“Is that so hard to believe that I just want to see you happy?” You frown jokingly. “Because I do. Loneliness, the real one, sucks. And you’re like… a Labrador, you need attention and love. Any dog requires attention, of course, but some more than others. My point is…” you sigh, trying to return back on track. “You’ve grown up on me, Your Majesty. I want to do something good for you.”

“…And?” Diavolo asks with a smile. Finally, his serious face almost started to freak you out. The prince relaxes a little bit. “Come on, there is something else, tell me.”

“What are you, a mind reader?” You narrow your eyes in suspicion.

“No, not at all. But I can sense when someone is lying to me.” He gives you a charming smile, almost the same as usual.

“Wha-! Dude! Why didn’t you say it earlier?!” you exclaim loudly, making the demon chuckle. You try to remember all the conversations you had with him. Did you lie about something important? You can’t recall.

“Sorry, but it’s a very useful advantage, don’t you agree? How could I tell you about it right away?”

“Fair, but… Damn, it’s actually very cool.” You stare at Diavolo in awe. “Such an ability for a ruler… It’s priceless.”

“I’m glad you like it, but I’m using it against you right now, if you still remember.” Diavolo grins, waiting for your answer.

“Fine, fine, you got me. It’s mainly about Lucifer. He is very… hard to deal with. So I figured that a little love affair would be very timely. And you’re the only guy who can deal with his attitude.” You technically don’t lie, so you hope Diavolo’s radar won’t detect your little trick. You can’t possibly tell him that you want to distract Lucifer and make pacts with Asmo and Satan. He will ask about your goals, and then… It’s hard to imagine what will happen after that. Damn, you need to be more cautious around this guy.

“That’s a very interesting tactic,” Diavolo smiles, but his eyes stare at you as attentively as before. “So you want to find a couple for Lucifer and to make him less… threatening, perhaps. I must agree, love can change people very drastically. Both for better and for worse. But I don’t think that your plan will work on Lucifer. He is not the kind of person who can be persuaded to date somebody, no matter what tricks you use. He is the Avatar of Pride, he decides such matters himself. And I would not recommend proceeding with this plan. If Lucifer finds out, he won’t be happy. It could be fun to experiment on someone else, but not on him, too dangerous.”

“And what about you?” you ask, completely ignoring your inner voice, that screams at you, begging to shut up. “Would you like to find someone? I was serious about wanting to help you.”

“I… Don’t think that I’m ready for such commitment,” Diavolo replies, hiding his smile once again. “It seems I don’t understand a lot of things, still. Maybe when I learn more, I’ll take the risk.”

“Come on, dude,” you awkwardly pat his shoulder, not sure how to act around him anymore. “Nobody understands anything, I guarantee you, no need to be so dramatic. I mean, just do what you always do, with your previous love interests.”

“… didn’t…” Diavolo mumbles something under his breath.

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch it. Can you repeat?”

“…I didn’t date anybody before…” he repeats louder, staring at his hands.

…

“Okay, that’s…” You try to use the right words not to traumatize the guy even more. You told him enough shit for one day, that’s for sure. “I mean, to be honest, I didn’t really properly date anybody, either. I mostly had one-night stands, or just sex-buddies, you know? All the romantic stuff is completely alien to me as well.”

Diavolo doesn’t respond to you.

“Your Majesty, please, tell me that you are not a virgin,” you say calmly, trying to be as open-minded as possible.

But Diavolo still doesn’t say anything.

“Okay… That’s totally fine. And normal. You just didn’t meet the right person. How old are you, by the way? Several hundred years or so? I bet you worked really hard throughout all these years, there wasn’t much time for all that…” you babble, mostly to yourself. “… Fuck that. How did it even happen?! I mean, I understand that there are people who are not interested in sex and relationships, that’s completely fine. But you! You’re clearly interested, right?!” You wait for Diavolo to nod slightly. “That’s what I thought! So why?! Look at you! I was so stunned when I first saw you that I almost forgot about my kidnapping! You’re marvelous! So, explain, how?!”

Your little speech seems to raise Diavolo’s spirits a bit, he is smiling again:

“Just what you said: too much work, and I didn’t meet the right person. I’m interested in romance and… everything, but I never wanted someone in particular. I admired a lot of creatures, including Lucifer.” Diavolo smiles, remembering something pleasant. “The Morning Star, the most brilliant angel in the Celestial Realm. He is beautiful now, but I wish you could see him in his angelic form. Lucifer was truly stunning, so different from everything down here in the Devildom. I was so proud when he became my right hand. Just like I was proud when I managed to hire Barbatos as my trusty steward. They both are very dear to me, but I always viewed them as my friends. No matter how magnificent they both are or how amazing I found other creatures that I met throughout my long life… I never felt like dating any of them. I started to think that I may like the concept, but can’t actually feel the attraction. But then…” He looks at you, hesitating to tell more. “I still don’t quite understand. I need more time, it’s all too sudden. Perhaps I’m actually completely wrong,” he sighs.  

You can only pat his arm, thinking about today’s argument.

“Could someone put a curse on me?” you suddenly ask, making Diavolo stare at you more attentively.

“Why do you ask?”

“It’s all too strange, don’t you think? I remember what you said about demonic attraction to human souls, but even so, it doesn’t make sense. Too many demons at a time, for a very short period of time. I understand that I’m hot stuff and all, but this is getting ridiculous. Maybe someone uses me as a destabilizer? You saw that fight just now. I know that they argue all the time, but still…”

“Don’t worry,” Diavolo smiles warmly at you, taking your hand once again. It feels more friendly than romantic, so it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. “There is no curse or a spell. I would sense it, Barbatos and Lucifer would sense as well. The spell that would be able to make several demons suddenly like you, and be completely undetected by all of us… It doesn’t exist, believe me. And it wouldn’t be able to influence such powerful demons for so long, the effect would disappear long ago.”

“So what? I must believe that it’s just my natural charm?” you scoff, not being satisfied by such answer. There must be more to it.

“Do you believe in destiny?” Diavolo watches you very closely.

“No. We make our own path, with our own choices and actions,” you confidently reply, not giving it a second thought.

“I agree. But there are also things that are just destined to be, no matter what we do. Time, future, past, destiny… All these concepts are so hard to fully grasp, no matter how many times Barbatos tries to explain them to me.”

“So that’s it? You’ll just shrug it off and believe that it’s some kind of destiny, not a potential threat?”

“Well,” Diavolo grins as widely as always. He is back to his old self. “You told me that I’m always positive, and it’ll complement the negativity of my partner. I think you’re right.” He gets up and gently pulls your hand. “Let’s go, we have quite a lot of things planned. Besides, we should check on Lucifer, he has been gone for quite some time.”

“As long as we don’t hear any explosions, I think he has everything under control,” you smile, letting Diavolo lead the way.

BOOM!

“…I spoke too soon,” you sigh, making the prince laugh loudly.

You both start running, ready to face yet another problem.

As always.

Chapter Text

So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you
And I chase it down, with a shot of truth
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

5 Seconds of Summer – Ghost of You

Diavolo managed to stop Satan’s rampage just before he almost broke some priceless vase or lamp, or whatever that twisted abomination was. Sometimes, demonic interior design choices are definitely… choices. The prince didn’t even have to do anything; his presence alone was enough to calm the raging Satan down. Apparently, it was a continuation of the previous fight between the brothers. When you arrived at the scene, Lucifer was standing silently in the corner, listening to Satan’s angry remarks. The Avatar of Wrath had a lot of complaints, that all came down to one simple thought: Lucifer sticks his nose in his brothers’ business too much. This particular fight was caused by Lucifer’s desire to check on his brothers, as if they were little children.

You have to admit, the Seven Rulers indeed act too childish for their age. Including Lucifer. It doesn’t make sense how they manage to stay so energetic and true to their sins after living for who knows how long. You try to imagine yourself living for hundreds of years, and your whole being fills with dread. You’ll either go insane or turn into a living statue with no emotions and desires. Maybe demons just built differently, but it’s honestly impressive. You wonder how much the brothers changed throughout the years. They must’ve been drastically different when they were angels.

Yet, despite everything, their family is still together. No matter how much they argue, they are brothers. That’s an inspiring thought: even if your theory is correct and someone indeed uses you to break them apart, you doubt that it’s possible. The brothers’ bond is stronger than you previously thought. Lucifer still cares about his family, even if it makes him look like a control freak rather than a wise older brother. Satan fights his brother regularly, but he doesn’t leave Lucifer’s side. Not the healthiest family dynamic, sure. But good enough for demons and the literal Avatars of Pride and Wrath.

The only thing that could potentially destroy everything is a situation with Belphie. You still don’t know shit about what actually happened. You know only half of the story, at best. But it doesn’t really matter who is to blame. The only thing that should concern you is the saving of your own ass. And the whole Human world, but primarily your ass. The fact that you get to be a hero is just a pleasant bonus.

You snap out of your thoughts only when all the groups gather in some gigantic ballroom. You didn’t even notice when you got here: family problems of your roommates captured your mind completely. That’s bad, you’re getting too invested. For your own sake, this needs to stop. You’re just a guest in this world, trying to survive. Think only about yourself, like always. Even though the charming madness of the demon brothers is very alluring.

“Tomorrow we will have a proper party to celebrate the unity of the three worlds,” Diavolo announces cheerfully. “It will be the only official event of the group retreat, where you will showcase your friendship to the numerous guests. Most of you already know how to act at such soirees, but it will be better to prepare beforehand, just in case.” The prince smiles widely during the whole speech, but the hidden meaning behind his words is very clear.

Well, there you have it. After the recent fiasco, when Cerberus and Lucifer destroyed a significant part of the city, your bunch has to bear the consequences of your actions. Diavolo hopes to fix the reputational damage with this party. Everybody who is involved in the exchange program has to show the nonexistent bonds between themselves. Technically, exchange students don’t necessarily have to participate. It’s the reputation of the Seven Rulers and Diavolo that is in danger, not yours. Luke and you did play a major part in the whole debacle, but the general public doesn’t know it. There are some pictures of you riding Cerberus, but nobody can imagine that you are actually capable of controlling the beast. Still, you’re in this shit together, whether you like it or not. If the public decides that the exchange program is more harmful than useful, it’s hard to predict the consequences. Both for the demons and the students from other worlds.

“I invited you all here to have a little practice before the main event. Primarily, to improve the dancing skills,” Diavolo explains, snaps his fingers, and beautiful instrumental music starts playing. It’s soft but energetic at the same time. “I want each demon who is fluent in dancing choose a partner among the exchange students, and teach him about local dances. They are rather easy, so I think one lesson will be more than enough. Meanwhile, me and Barbatos will instruct the demons who need help themselves.”

As soon as the prince finishes speaking, brothers start rushing toward you. Their determined faces almost humor you, but they start dashing so fast and so suddenly that you have to gather all your strength to resist the urge to hide behind Diavolo’s back. But while you are focused on them, someone snatches you from the back and starts dragging toward the center of the room.

The hand in a black glove on your forearm, tight grip, and confident steps. You smirk, allowing Lucifer to lead you wherever he wants:

“What, finally stopped ignoring me?”

The demon doesn’t respond, stopping only when there is a significant distance between your pair and the rest of the crowd. Lucifer turns to you and asks:

“Do you want to be the lead or the follow?”

“The lead, obviously,” you reply, mostly to piss him off. You don’t mind either way, but the Avatar of Pride for sure wants to be the lead, always. Even in such trivial matters. But to your surprise, he simply nods and starts explaining:

“The dance is rather similar to a waltz, all the foot movements are almost the same. But hand placement is different.” Lucifer takes your right hand and puts it on his waist. Oh. His waistline is rather… sensual. Like it was made for your hands to grab it. You try to recall all the nasty things Lucifer did to you, but it’s hard when he is so close. His warmth makes you lose your mind. Shit, you need to concentrate, this fucker can’t make your brain melt with a single touch. Yet he does. “Lift your left hand like that. Yes, the elbow needs to be at shoulder height. I trust you know all the footwork, right?” You nod, feeling his right hand on your upper back. It takes some time to get used to moving with such hand placement, several steps needed some refinement because of that. But you get the hang of it pretty quickly.

“Hm, not as difficult as I expected. Guess when it comes to dances, our cultures are not so different,” you smile, enjoying the slow dance. You personally prefer something more energetic, but this feels nice as well. Especially when you hold such hot stuff in your hands.

“Yet my brothers manage to fail in such a simple task, even after all these years,” Lucifer sighs, looking somewhere behind you. You turn around and start quietly cackling at the scene you witness.

While you were busy with Lucifer, others had to find partners for themselves as well. When it comes to skill, the pair of Satan and Simeon is definitely the most pleasant to look at. They move professionally, with calm confidence and grace. Solomon and Asmo are not so far behind, yet it seems that Solomon is not a big fan of dancing, unlike Asmo. The lack of enthusiasm from the sorcerer creates an imbalance with the demon’s theatrical movements.

But that’s where good pairs end and problematic ones start. The most hilarious one is certainly Mammon and Luke. The little angel looks determined to learn properly, but, unfortunately, he got not the best partner. Mammon, allegedly, is a good dancer, but not when it comes to waltz. He constantly messes up the footwork, making Luke angry. They both try to find the right pattern, barking at each other in frustration. And it’s not mentioning the height difference, which makes their pair look simply comical. Mammon has to bend his back rather drastically, which messes up his movements even more.

Diavolo and Beel are doing a little bit better. It takes you a second to get used to the sight of two muscular, handsome guys dancing together. They look amazing, but Beel still needs more time to get used to the music. Or to the fact that he is hugging the literal future king. The poor boy looks nervous, despite all the warm smiles Diavolo gives him. Perhaps the white, sharp fangs of the prince unsettle Beel even more. The glutton definitely knows the moves, but he needs the other partner.

The most unfortunate pair is Barbatos and Levi. While you have no doubts about Barbatos’ capabilities, the nerd gives him zero chances to showcase them. Levi doesn’t even let the butler touch him, trembling like a thin tree during the storm. Such a disgraceful display leads to a quiet lecture from Barbatos, but it only makes Levi more scared. If Barbatos manages to at least touch the nerd, that will be a real victory.

Yeah, these guys need more professional help. You weaken your grip on Lucifer and start moving toward them, but the demon snatches your hands back and tightens his fingers on your wrists.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Lucifer asks coldly, squeezing your hands on the verge of pain.

“Help others, I think I mastered your little dance already. Let go,” you frown, returning your attention to Lucifer. The demon successfully crushed all the warm feelings in your heart. You stare at his face, wondering how you could enjoy your dance with him just a moment ago.

“Who told you that you could go?” Lucifer scowls, moving closer. He lowers his voice and whispers in your ear: “You think I invited you to dance out of the goodness of my heart? It’s just a useful opportunity to speak privately, no more, no less. I would prefer to dance with literally anybody else, believe me.”

“Oh? Really?” You smirk, ignoring the pain in your wrists. “Then, I suppose, kissing me was a real torture, wasn’t it? Makes me wonder why you initiated it in the first place.”

“Shut. Up.” Lucifer growls silently, trying to avoid unwanted attention from the rest of the guys. “If you mention it one more time, I will tear the tongue out of your dirty mouth.”

“Yeah? I remember quite well how this dirty mouth made you moan, you little- UGH!” Your smirk instantly disappears when Lucifer tightens his fingers and twists your right wrist. You hear an alarming click, feel the cracking of your bones. Tears fill your eyes, you try to shout, but no sound comes out of your mouth. Lucifer took away your voice. But you soon realize that he took your ability to move as well. You can’t call for help even if you wanted to, your pair is too far away from the rest of the group, they can’t see that something is wrong.

“Now listen to me, human,” Lucifer continues whispering into your ear, as if nothing happened. “If you think that you have the right to just run around and do whatever you please, you’re terribly mistaken. I allowed you to have your fun out of respect for Diavolo and his dream. But I draw the line at my family. I won’t allow you to make another pact with any of my brothers. You can indulge them however you want, I don’t care. But new pacts are off limits. Otherwise… I’ll make sure to grant you the most painful end I could think of.”

Lucifer weakens the curse he put on you. Finally, you can move and talk again. Pain in your broken wrist makes your whole body shake, but you manage to hold in the tears and cries. You won’t give him satisfaction.

Your head slowly rises. The height difference between you two is almost nonexistent, which helps you stare right into Lucifer’s face. And spit right into it.

It takes the demon several moments to understand what just happened. His eyelids close defensively, protecting vulnerable eyes from the sticky liquid. And granting you precious seconds to pull out a knife.

“Sorry for interrupting.” A friendly voice and firm grip on your arm stop you from slicing Lucifer’s neck. The knife disappears into the void as you’re being pulled into someone’s embrace. It’s Solomon, smiling as politely as ever. “Lord Diavolo instructed everybody to change partners. Mind if I steal Castiel from you?”

By the time you turn your head toward the demon, he has already disappeared. Lucifer didn’t respond to Solomon, leaving you two silently. The sorcerer lets out a heavy sigh.

“That was close,” he says, putting his hands on the small of your back. “Are you all right?”

You nod, but don’t hug him back. Your wrist is killing you, Lucifer snapped it effortlessly. Shit, you’re so weak. Solomon notices that you keep your hands away from him. You feel a warm wave caressing your body, his magic looks for any damage. And it finds it. The sorcerer frowns, and focuses his force on your hands. The pain goes away so suddenly, filling your body with energy and heat, that you can’t hold in a quiet moan:

“Fuck, Solomon, so gooood…” you breathe out into his ear, which immediately becomes pink. Cute. You put your head on his shoulder, basking in the sensations. “I didn’t know that you are also a healer,” you murmur to him, completely relaxed.

“I’m not,” Solomon replies shakily, trying to regain his composure. “I can take away the pain, but only powerful angels like Simeon can heal creatures effortlessly. And Lord Diavolo, but there aren’t many things he can’t do. To help you properly, I need my potions.”

“Hm, so my wrist is still a mess, I just don’t feel it,” you smile weakly, then stiffen as you repeat his words in your head. “Wait, what do you mean by 'taking away the pain'? You just made it disappear, or you feel it instead of me?”

“What gave you that idea?” Solomon smiles at you, looking amused by your suspicions. But once you slightly poke one of his hands on your back, he hisses with pain, breaking the mask. “Ouch, don’t do that, please.”

“Return me my pain, and I’ll stop,” you frown, straightening up. Solomon’s face seems surprisingly stubborn. “Come on, dude, don’t be a baby.”

“If you want me to stop feeling pain, heal yourself. I’m sure Simeon will gladly help,” the sorcerer grins, he has no intention to break the spell. You wince, imagining the angel’s worried look. He won’t be happy to see you hurt again. But you don’t really have a choice. You turn around, looking for Simeon among the dancers, but he is nowhere to be seen. As well as Mammon and Luke. “Strange,” Solomon looks around with you. “Maybe he went back to his room?”

“Damn, did he discover our plan that quickly?” you mumble, feeling partially responsible.

“What plan?” the sorcerer asks curiously.

“I asked Mammon to teach Luke how to swear,” you sigh, watching Solomon shake with laughter.

“That was… Not the brightest idea. Simeon is very protective when it comes to Luke, I’m sure you know that.”

“Yeah, I know. I should look for them, it was my genius plan after all.”

“I think it would be best. And don’t forget to ask for healing. No matter how angry Simeon is, he will help anyway.”

“How about undoing the spell? Please,” you ask before leaving. Existence without pain is good and all, but not when someone suffers instead of you.

“Mmm… No. Don’t feel like it,” Solomon smiles cunningly. He sneakily kisses your cheek. “Come on, heal your wrist, and come back to me. I still want to dance with you.” He slightly pushes you toward the exit with a healthy hand. You have no choice but to obey.

You run through the countless corridors, trying to reach the bedrooms. Simeon, Mammon, and Luke might be there. It’s not like you know any other places in the castle anyway. But the further you go, the less familiar rooms you meet. Fuck, you’re lost. You turn around only to see several routes, and you have no idea which one is yours. Yeah, you’re completely lost.

You hope to find a phone in your pocket, but, of course, it isn’t there. In fact, you don’t have anything, not even your trusty knife. Solomon teleported it somewhere, and you can only hope that he chose a better place this time. An imaginary sight of your underwear in Diavolo’s hands still haunts you, filling with unspeakable shame.

After a quick inspection of the surroundings, you confirm that there is nothing useful. Just another corridor, dark and slightly disturbing. As much as your adventurous ass wants to check out the countless rooms of the castle, you don’t do it. Who knows what kind of curses you can find or what is hiding there, behind the closed doors? So far, the only inhabitants of the castle you saw were Diavolo and Barbatos. But they can’t be the only ones here, right? 

The best course of action would be to stay on the spot. Someone will notice that you’re gone, sooner or later. You have no doubt that Diavolo and Barbatos will find you within seconds. So you decide to act like a responsible adult for once and sit on the floor, waiting for somebody to notice your absence.

Several minutes pass, but nothing changes. You remember about Solomon, who has to bear your pain for who knows how much longer. Shit, maybe you should move a little. Maybe you’ll find someone accidentally, it would be better than sitting around, waiting for nothing. You start slowly moving along the corridor, trying to spot something that would help you understand where you are. But all the pictures on the walls and all the decorations are unfamiliar. You can’t shake off the feeling that you’re just going deeper into the labyrinth of the castle, getting more and more lost.

Suddenly, you see the light. Very suspicious kind of light. It’s cold and white, it shines brightly from the glass of some big mirror. It’s right in front of you, urging you to come closer and take a look.

…

Hell no. You might be unreasonable at times, but not dumb. You won’t go near this thing, won’t even look at it. After closing your eyes, you put your hand on the wall to know where you’re going and sneak past the shining mirror. The white light stays behind.

Except it doesn’t. It appears in yet another mirror, one minute later, right in front of you. You repeat your strategy, only to open the eyes, and find another mirror, in front of you, again. Wait, doesn’t it look the same as the previous two?

You turn backwards and see an empty wall. That’s the exact spot where the second mirror was. But now it’s behind your back. And it’s getting closer.

You start running, not quite sure in which direction. You might be running back, or forward, or it’s another corridor entirely. They are all the same, so it’s impossible to navigate, especially in the dark.

So that was the same mirror all along, it just decided to haunt you. You can hear it flying behind your back. It’s so big that it fills the entirety of the corridor, smashing lamps and other decorations as it chases you. While you run as fast as you possibly can, a single thought doesn’t leave your mind. When you first met the mirror, you walked past it. You went forward, it was a straight road with no turns. So how did it appear one minute later, in front of you? It didn’t fly past you, you would’ve noticed. The only explanation is…

A bright light assaults your eyes suddenly, making you lose concentration. You smash right into the mirror at full speed. Yeah, the fucker can teleport. You lost the chase the second it began.

As your body meets the surface of the mirror, you feel a strange, tingling sensation. And then you land on the floor. When you turn around, the mirror is already gone. The corridor is as dark as before, with no signs of white light.

You stand up, feeling a little wobbly, when you notice something on the floor. Someone. Your body, to be exact. Eyes and mouth are wide open, all the muscles are relaxed. That’s not just your body. That’s your corpse.

…

A shiver runs through you. "Through you"? What are you, exactly? You raise your hands, but you don’t actually feel them, not in the way you’re used to. Your skin doesn’t have color; actually, you don’t have any skin, you left it on the floor, with your corpse. There is just a transparent outline of your body, with no ability to touch or feel. Is this your soul? Are you a ghost now? You try not to look at your body that is lying beneath, such sight can break your spirit in seconds. The urge to hide and cry is immeasurable, but you’re not sure that you are even capable of crying.

The sound of music intervenes in your thoughts, gifting you hope. The ballroom must be nearby, somebody will help you, for sure. You’re salty that the mirror caught you when you were so close to others, but you can cry about it later. Right now, you have to pull yourself together and act. Running feels unusual, more challenging and easier at the same time. You don’t feel the weight of your bones and flesh, but the new sensations slow you down.

You move in the direction of the music, but it suddenly stops. Panic overtakes you, but you continue moving, looking for familiar surroundings. After impossibly long minutes, you finally find what you were looking for.

All the guys are standing in the center of the room, surrounding something on the floor. Someone. Solomon’s body, to be exact. Eyes and mouth are wide open, all the muscles are relaxed. That’s not just his body. That’s his corpse.

That can’t be right. No, it must be some kind of sick joke of the mirror. Solomon lies in the same pose as your body, which you left on the floor. Did he suffer the same fate as you because you two were bonded by his stupid spell? If so, his soul must be nearby, you must find him.

You move toward the crowd, nobody notices your appearance. Perhaps they can’t see you at all. That’s bad, but you’ll deal with it later, you must find Solomon. It’s impossible to understand what the guys are talking about. The sound of their voices is so strange, like there is a thick wall between you and them. You can understand separate words, but not sentences. As soon as you get closer, something happens to your ghostly body. It shivers and starts losing its form. You focus on the energy radiating from demonic bodies. It’s their souls, their magic. And it starts to slowly absorb you.

Human souls, so fragile, so vulnerable. Without your meaty shield you become an easy target. The irony of the situation is that nobody doesn’t even notice how they slowly devour you. There are too many of them in one place, their magic entangles with one another. It’s impossible to detect your weak soul among the strong currents of ancient energy. They will soak in your soul, piece by piece, without knowing it. And when they find your empty corpse, they’ll have to bury it, without knowing that they were the ones who killed you.

You’re no stranger to speaking to yourself in your head. Hell, you’re doing it right now. But these thoughts feel foreign, alien. Like someone transmits them right into your ghostly head. Just like…

Belphie. You feel faint warmth in your butt area, right where his mark is supposed to be.

Sure, take your sweet time. The demonic energy tears your soul apart, but you can afford to check out your ass, don’t worry about it.  

You return to reality and escape the room as fast as humanly (ghostly) possible. This all feels like a fever dream: your corpse, Solomon’s corpse, Belphie in your head. Your mind hurts, but you need to think, now.

It’s impossible to get help when everybody is gathered together like this; it will literally kill you. For the second time, yeah. But with Solomon lying on the floor like that… When will they realize that you’re gone? How soon will you manage to get someone to notice you? Is it even possible? You have to try. But such close proximity to the demonic crowd makes you nervous. And the thought of your body lying somewhere in the dark… Who knows who or what else can find it? You decide to return to your "meaty shield" and guard it. Not that you can do much to protect it, but you will feel better mentally. You hope, at least.

To avoid thinking about your own problems, you start thinking about Solomon. You can only assume that he has the same condition as you, so his soul must be here somewhere. You didn’t see it, but it must’ve run away just like you; the demonic energy may impact his soul the same way as you.

Or he was absorbed on the spot, as soon as his soul left his body. He dropped dead in the same room with the strongest demons of the whole Devildom. He had no time to escape. He’s gone, forget about him.  

You will ignore this voice for now. Belphie or not, you have no time for it. The voice doesn’t confirm who it is, playing tricks on your exhausted mind. Maybe you’re just going crazy, the sight of your own corpse could easily do this.

You find your body rather quickly, lying where you left it. It’s not too far from the ballroom, but still, the whole damn place is a maze. Now you just have to wait. Sooner or later, they’ll notice your absence and start looking for you. Magic will do its thing, and they’ll find you.

Your corpse. They will never notice your soul. Only if they specifically look for it. But once they see your body, they’ll assume that your soul is also gone. And then you’ll be gone for real. Human souls can’t just wander around the Devildom, the world itself will either absorb you, or transform into a poltergeist or other monster.

You imagine the most graphic porn you can think of, starring Lucifer. Both to calm yourself down and to scare away the voice. Unfortunately, the voice is just as annoying as you are. It can’t make you see unpleasant things, but it can scream. Very loudly. And for a very long time. So you’re just sitting there, near your fresh corpse, battling with the voice inside your head. It may be a competition, but at the end of the day, you’re both losers.

Your descent into madness stops once you notice movement at the end of the corridor. Something small and numerous approaches your body. They are definitely none of your guys.

“Another trash!” A little, round, black creature squeaks, examining your body. It looks demonic, with horns on its head, but you’ve never seen a demon like this before, not even in books. Six others agree with the first one, repeating:

“Yes! Trash!”

They surround the body, each grabbing a different part and leaving bloody scratches with their claws all over you. Little demons lift your corpse above their heads and start running. You rush after them, panic takes over your mind again. You try shouting, throwing something at them, but there is nothing you can do. You’re an invisible ghost, nobody can hear you, except for the voice in your head.

The only thing you can do is run, but even this is not an easy task. Little demons are incredibly fast, even with your body in their claws. They dive into all the little tunnels, obviously specifically made for them. They know all the twists and turns of this place, masterfully navigating around. At one point you stop moving your legs at all, starting flying instead. It feels natural, just like the absence of heavy breathing and fatigue. You try to cheat by flying through the walls, after all, you’re a ghost. But the wall doesn’t let you through, on the contrary, it starts absorbing you, just like the demons. Everything is out to get you, even fucking walls that radiate the same demonic energy. The whole castle is one big cluster of this hostile power. You won’t exist for long if you stay here.

Little shits arrive in the kitchen. Just when you’re about to start panicking again, imagining your limbs in a soup or something, they drag your body further, into the next room. It’s a storage room, filled with all kinds of food. There is a giant, metal garbage chute in the center of one wall. And the demons start to slowly open it.

Well, shit.

You can only speechlessly witness how they pick up your corpse, push it inside the chute, and let it fall into the darkness. You have no time to think about your actions, so you just jump after your body, sliding through the giant pipe, lower and lower, straight into the lowest level of the castle.

Once you land, it takes you some time to gather your thoughts. You don’t open your eyes until you’re ready to deal with whatever comes next. The voice keeps silent. You would think that the connection is lost, but you can still feel the warmth of the pact. It’s the only pleasant feeling that is available to you right now. It’s the only thing that doesn’t let you collapse from all the fear and dread.

It was smart to give yourself time to prepare. Because once you open your eyes, you find yourself sitting on a pile of rotting substances. Demonic food is not the most pleasant sight, even when it’s cooked properly, but the spoiled leftovers and scraps make your nonexistent stomach twist. It’s a good thing that you can’t feel smells right now.

Your corpse surely looks suitable in a place like this. It doesn’t look too bad for now, but if you give it enough time, it will become the worst looking thing out here. You stop yourself from nervously giggling. Shit, you are going insane fast. You went through so much shit, and where did it get you? Into the pile of trash, with your body slowly rotting on top of it.

You examine the pile slowly, thinking about your disastrous life, when you notice a pair of yellow eyes. Very familiar pair of huge, yellow eyes on red skin. It’s Red, one of the demons that attacked you earlier. But you thought that they were supposed to be in the hospital, waiting for Diavolo’s judgment? Apparently, the cheerful, friendly prince is more of a tyrant than you thought. Upon closer inspection, you find the rest of the crew: Pointy, Horny, Lizard, all of them are here. And judging from their messed-up bodies, they were never in the hospital. You can clearly see the parts that were smashed by the giant statue.

They were here for some time already, their corpses don’t look as fresh as yours. Still, it’s some kind of company. You’re not the only miserable fucker here.

Are you done pitying yourself already? Ready to get out?

Get out? You look around, noticing a way out of the room, there is no door here. In fact, the exit is incredibly large, like it was made for someone really big. Hm, maybe this pile of garbage is someone’s dinner? Wonderful, your situation is getting better by the second.

Come on, stop whining. By the looks of it, we’re underground. It’s very possible, that we are somewhere in the Labyrinth beneath the castle. It’s a giant structure, there must be a way out. They say there are tons of monsters, but you’re already dead, so they won’t be a problem if we just avoid their demonic energy.  

You look back at your body. It lies there, like a broken toy. Do you really have to just leave it there?

Oh, please. Like there’s anything you are losing, really. No looks, no strength, no brains. We’ll find you a better body, anytime. Just need to kick out the previous owner, and voila, you have a meat shield again.

Wait, it’s possible to possess other bodies? Then it can work on yours as well! You jump toward your corpse, not sure how to get back in. You lie on top of it, sliding inside. The sight is most unpleasant and surreal, so you just close your eyes. Luckily, even your ghost form allows you to use eyelids, even though you’re fully transparent.

You try to raise your arm, but it just goes through your bones, muscles, and skin. No matter how hard you try, you can’t regain the control over your body.

Come on, let’s leave! It already started to rot, you won’t be able to live in this body again, don’t you get it? You need to possess someone who is alive, not a stinky corpse! We need to get out of here, the castle will devour you sooner or later. And we still need to find the exit. Do you know how big this Labyrinth is? It’s enormous! We can’t waste our time here playing in the trash!

It’s kind of funny that Belphie insists on saying "we", sitting in a safe and cozy attic.

It’s my prison, you asshole. And you were the one who bonded us, so yes, it’s WE. I need you to get out of my "cozy attic" as much as you need me right now. So stop getting on my nerves, and let’s get out. I have no use for you if you get devoured by the castle or demons.

With a sigh, you get up, leaving your body behind. It hurts to just leave a major part of yourself, but you want to survive, in some form, at least. And for that, you need to act. You make a step outside the room, ready to look for a way out…

…Only to be stopped by someone’s tight grip on your arm. "Grip"? "On your arm"? How is it possible? You quickly turn around and meet the gaze of shining green eyes. Barbatos does his best to stay calm, but you can see how relieved he really is.

“I found you, at last,” he says, giving you a bright smile. It looks foreign on his face, you’re used to his polite mask, not to… genuine happiness. It looks especially out of place with a pile of corpses behind his back.

You have a lot of questions in your mind, each more important than the last, but you decide to ask only one:

“Did you find Solomon?”

“Yes,” Barbatos nods. If he is surprised by your question, he doesn’t show it. “Let me take you to him. This way, please.” He quickly lifts your body and carries it toward the exit. There is a dark portal, it swirls with ancient magic and power. But it doesn’t feel as hostile as other instances of demonic magic. In fact, neither the seven little demons nor Barbatos himself radiate the energy that is ready to consume you. You feel… safe around him, for some reason.

You dive into the portal and appear in the strangest room you’ve ever seen. You think that you are looking at the ceiling, but it’s actually a wall; the floor is a wall, and the wall is a floor. Furniture doesn’t have gravity here, standing and flying wherever it pleases. The fabric of reality is twisted here, making you dizzy. You try to save the last pieces of your mental stability, and this crazy room doesn’t help.

You find Solomon's body flying in the air, as well as his soul. His spirit is sleeping, unaware of everything that happens around him.

“I’ve put him to sleep once his soul left his body,” Barbatos says, placing your body in the air next to Solomon’s. “It was easier that way, and saved all of his magic. If he ran around the castle, searching for you, he would waste a lot of his life essence and therefore, his magic. But you,” he approaches you, examining your state. “You must’ve dealt with a lot of obstacles while you were outside your body. You’re almost completely gone.”  

“…Gone?” Your voice shivers, but you try to calm down.

“Don’t worry, I can help you. I have my… methods. But I must put you to sleep to save your energy.”

“Will you return me to my body?” you ask, staring at your corpse. Now, when you can compare your state with Solomon’s, it becomes clear that your body is not as fresh as you thought. It looks dead. Solomon looks like he is asleep.

“Yes. And I’ll make sure that you look just as before. Since you and Solomon are bound by his spell, he’ll get better as soon as you return to normal. And then… We’ll talk about everything that happened. But unfortunately, it has to wait. We can’t waste any more time, I’m afraid. Are you ready?” He puts his hand on your shoulder, and you can actually feel the heat of his body. It’s so unreal that you’re almost ready to cry. You were drowning in coldness ever since the mirror caught you. Only the faint warmth from Belphie’s pact kept you sane. And now, you can finally feel the proper heat. It’s incredible.

Barbatos notices your reaction and puts the other hand on you, almost in a hug. A calming feeling overtakes you, and you start falling asleep.

You hope that you can trust Barbatos. After all, nobody else knows where you are. You’re alone in this strange room, at his mercy. If you wake up with your head in a jar, you won’t be surprised. But it’s not like you have a choice.

You feel another source of warmth, you almost forgot about him.

I’ll look after you. Shut up and go to sleep before worms invade your stinky corpse instead of you.

And with these charming words of support, you lose your consciousness.

Chapter Text

Make me come alive, come on and turn me on
Touch me, save my life, come on and turn me on
I'm too young to die, come on and turn me on
Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on, turn me on

David Guetta – Turn Me On

Thump thump. Thump thump.

The real world greets you with a dull pain all over your body, but it’s a pleasant pain. It means that you’re alive. You escaped death, again. You wish you could genuinely celebrate, but it just makes you reflect on how weak you actually are. Courage, determination, strong will – none of this matters if your body is so weak, that you were literally killed by the furniture. A cursed object, an ancient artifact, “The Collector of Souls” as Barbatos calls it, but it’s still embarrassing nonetheless. And the more the demon talks, the shittier you feel.

“As a part of preparation for the arrival of the second human student, we took advantage of the fact that Solomon arrived earlier than you. We organized a grand tour all over the castle, RAD, the dormitories, and many more, but not for educational purposes. Solomon came in contact with every single magical artifact, cursed object, local food and drinks, even the most common items, to make sure that they were safe for humans,” Barbatos calmly explains, checking the reflexes of your right arm. He kneels in front of you, attentively inspecting every twitch of your muscles, holding your limb a little bit too close to his face. The demon started to spill sentences upon sentences the second you opened your eyes and found yourself in a soft, unknown bed. He spoke slowly and thoughtfully, all while checking the state of your body without letting you get out of bed.

“So you basically used him like a guinea pig?” you ask, still dizzy and disoriented. You wish you could get a mirror. The last time you saw your body, it didn’t look… fresh. You wonder how you look now, after Barbatos brought you back to life.

“Yes.” The demon nods and starts checking your other arm. “But he was a willing subject. The tests went smoothly, and we were certain that the places we checked were safe for you. But we failed to realize a simple distinction between you and Solomon: he has magic, and you don’t.” Barbatos sighs, moving his attention to your torso. The touch of his bare hands tickles, as does his breath. You have no idea how he can see anything from this distance, his nose almost touches your belly. It seems that his gaze pierces through your skin, way deeper than you can imagine. His eyes always creeped you out, but now it got really unsettling. Who knows, if Barbatos can freely stare through human flesh, maybe he can see through walls. You wish he would blink at least once, but he is too concentrated on his task to pretend to be more humanoid than he really is. “Solomon, thanks to his magical power, has a natural resistance toward some artifacts, such as the Collector of Souls. So, it seems that our preparations were in vain. It is my fault, of course.” Barbatos moves his head toward your chest, he now stares right at the spot where your heart is beating nervously. “I didn’t recognize right away that some artifacts didn’t work on Solomon not because of his human nature but due to his magical power.”

“I just turned out to be weaker than you expected,” you sigh, quite demoralized after the whole ordeal.

“Wrong.” Barbatos’ face suddenly appears right in front of you, making you squeeze your head further into the pillow. His giant, green eyes are too close, drilling into your skull. You thought that your encounter with paparazzi was uncomfortable? Well, this medical inspection is so much worse. Barbatos’ long fingers start touching every inch of your face, trying to find imperfections among your freshly resurrected muscles and nerves. “Quite the opposite. Despite my incompetence, you managed to survive for so long. We thought that we excluded most of the dangers that could potentially harm you, when in reality, we barely scratched the surface. Still, for a person with no magic, you managed to coexist with the Devildom and its dangers surprisingly well.”

“I appreciate your attempts to lift my spirits, but I literally died just now. And I almost died many times before. I’m breathing only thanks to my stupid luck and your grace. You give me too much credit.” You frown, staring into the demon’s eyes. You’re not sure if he looks at you or through you, into the depths of your empty head.

“It’s you who gives yourself not enough credit, Castiel.” Barbatos whispers, continuing to massage your face. “Which is understandable, given what you experienced just now. But you felt it, didn’t you? Just how hostile the very core of the Devildom is toward human beings. From its inhabitants to its very air: everything is merciless. It will take a lot of time and effort to make the Devildom truly inclusive and accessible to other humans. We thought we had made our first steps in that direction, but we failed. Yet you are still alive, despite being much more active and adventurous than any other human being would be. Someone would call it a miracle. But I disagree. It’s a direct result of your decisions and actions.” Barbatos stops assaulting your skull and looks at you. The yellow glimmer in his eyes shines softly. “My lack of foresight made you experience the pain that could have easily been avoided, and for that, I’m sorry. I promise to fix that mistake. Yet, I own you not only an apology but a thanks as well. The only reason the exchange program still exists is because it was you who were chosen for it. Any other person would be dead by now, but not you. We have a chance to fix everything and move toward the future, only because you managed to overcome every single obstacle on your path, and there were quite a few. And, I’m afraid, there will be many more in the future. But I promise to help you, as much as you’ll allow me.”

You gaze at the demon in front of you, having a mix of emotions in your chest. Your death, the sight of your corpse, and everything that followed - that was a lot. Maybe even too much. You feel tired and scared. An enemy with flesh and bones, that’s what you’re used to. That's what you understand and can fight. Not cryptic artifacts and mysterious energies, not the fucking world itself, which apparently wants to devour you the first chance it gets.

You’ve never felt so helpless. There was nothing you could do, only to either accept your fate or struggle a little bit longer, hoping that someone more powerful would help you. And you hated it, with all your might. You must be strong enough to survive on your own, not rely on the mercy of others. That’s how it always was, and how it should be.

But is it really possible when everything around you radiates magic and you have nothing to counter it? Barbatos says that the credit for your survival is entirely on you, but it was sheer dumb luck and nothing more. The second you encounter something magical among your opponents, you find yourself dying in the lake from a curse or crying in the corner next to your corpse. Two times you were saved by powerful creatures, two times when you were completely useless on your own.

Maybe… The Devildom is out of your league, after all? Should you just admit that this world kicked your ass and return home, where everything is much more physical and familiar? No curses, no artifacts, no magic, only trusty weapons and skill, only what you’re good at.

You’re feeling sick. It’s so unlike you to dive into such thoughts. You’ve never allowed yourself to be such a disgrace, so what happened? Sudden fear of death? But you were never scared of it. At least, not of the death during a fight. If you have to go, you’ll do it during battle with a weapon in your hand. Not from some disease, curse, or cryptic shit. You must know that you can deal some damage to your opponent, but you can’t hurt the magical mirror that collects souls and traps them within itself. You can’t wound a curse that slowly melts your organs. You’re useless as soon as something like this happens, there is nothing you can do.

And it’s fucking scary.

“I can make it go away.” Barbatos intrudes into your thoughts, making you return to reality. How long have you been sitting here, lost in your doubts and fears?

“What?” you ask quietly, looking at the creature beside you. He knows all your thoughts, no doubt. This ever-knowing look didn’t disappear even after he admitted that he fucked up and failed his task. This all-mighty demeanor starts to seriously piss you off, especially since you’re feeling so worthless in comparison.

“I can see that the recent events left a huge impression, that is more harmful than useful. Not every experience is necessary to remember, Castiel. I can make it disappear, if you wish.”

“What, by giving me amnesia? Don’t be ridiculous,” you snort, getting up from the bed. Your legs are still slightly shaky, so you start going in circles around the room, trying to return your strength.

“I won’t simply wipe out your memory,” Barbatos shakes his head, attentively observing your actions. “The events simply won’t happen. Ever. I will be the only person, besides Young Master, who is aware of the changes, and I’ll make sure that everything that you would like to avoid will never happen.” You stop in your tracks, staring at the demon as if he was a madman.

“You… You’re joking, right? You can’t possibly do things like that, do you?”

“I can. I tend to avoid using this power, but since it was my fault that you suffered so greatly, I’ll make an exception. I hate to see you bear the weight of my mistakes,” Barbatos says firmly, clearly angry at himself for being so careless. Makes sense, Mr. Perfect can’t afford to fuck up such trivial matters, otherwise, he is not perfect. You don’t believe for a second that the demon wants to literally tear the flow of time for your sake. If he really can do it, it will only be for his benefit, so he can pretend to be ideal again.

“And what exactly can you undo?” Curiosity is stronger than skepticism. Besides, the more information you have about his demonic power, the better.

“I can send you all the way back to your first day at the Devildom. Or a couple of days earlier, so I could repeat the inspection of potentially dangerous items. I could also just send you back to the start of the retreat and make sure that you’ll never meet that mirror.” Barbatos stands up and approaches the coffee table in the room. You silently observe how he starts preparing tea, and you can only hope that it won’t be drugged this time. “Though I must warn you: by fixing one mistake we only double their amount. Time doesn’t like drastic changes, and it’s hard to predict how it will restore balance. For example, after saving someone’s life with the help of time magic, somebody else will die, maybe even more than one person. And there is no guarantee that the creature you originally saved won’t die the next minute from something else. So I’m not as powerful as it seems at first glance,” the demon sighs, dark shadows fall on his face, making it hard for you to see his emotions. He puts down a cup of fresh tea for you but doesn’t make anything for himself.

“Is that your special brew again? Will it knock me out, or have you prepared something more exciting?” You smirk, examining the cup from a distance.

“This tea is only special in the sense that it’s from the Human world. Other than that, it’s a simple drink with no side effects. Although I hope that it will help restore your energy.” Barbatos smiles politely, waiting for your decision.

You approach the demon and take the cup. The smell is quite alluring, so you decide to trust him. This time. The tea is as delicious as it smells, though it doesn’t give you any energy. The void inside of you is too big to fill it with herbs and hot water.

“Did you decide whether you want to proceed with my proposition?” Barbatos asks, elegantly refilling your cup.

“I decided. And, obviously, I won’t do it.”

“May I ask why?” The demon stays as expressionless as before.

“Rewinding time just because I feel a little bit down? Please, it would be even more pathetic than being eaten by a mirror,” you jest, but in reality, the idea of forgetting last several hours doesn’t seem half as bad. The damn furniture dealt more damage than anything else in the Devildom. But you would never mess with the time for such a pitiful and selfish reason. You can overcome this on your own. Maybe. You’ll either prevail or fail miserably, but you won’t be a coward about this.

And it’s not only about the Collector of Souls. It’s about the whole damn Devildom and its magic. Nothing in this world is truly unstoppable, you repeat. You told it to yourself when you first encountered the foe that brought you to your knees – Asmo’s hypnosis. You were determined to find a way to resist it. Well, it’s about time to work toward that goal. No matter how powerful the Devildom is, there must be something you can do to walk here freely and without fear.

That is your new personal purpose, in addition to saving the world from crazy brothers.

Your death made you realize how weak you are, sure. But it’s nothing more than a refreshing slap in the face. You won’t let it break you. You’ll take your pain and fears and use them as motivation and fuel that will urge you to move forward.

As you always did.

***

“Here he is.” Barbatos leads you into the nearby room, the one with the lack of physics or common sense. It’s just as insane as you remember. The bedroom where you woke up earlier was completely normal, so it takes you some time to get used to the craziness of this space. Solomon still floats in the air, blissfully asleep. But this time, his soul is right where it should be – inside his body. Yet he still looks like a ghost due to his pale skin and hair.

“So you put me in bed but left him floating in the air?” You smile, looking at the peaceful expression on Solomon’s face. You approach the unconscious sorcerer, admiring his relaxed features. Thank God, he’s alive. The sight of his lifeless body will haunt you for a very long time. You hope that Barbatos made him fall asleep quickly enough and the magician didn’t have a chance to realize what happened to him.

“I came to the conclusion that after everything you’ve been through, you deserved the bed more than him. Besides, the sight of him in my bed would be… an unwelcome one.” Barbatos didn’t let any disgust show on his face, but his words were harsh enough.

“Wait, it was your bed?!” you raise your voice. Barbatos doesn’t strike you as a demon who would let just anyone into his personal space, no matter how guilty he feels. You almost let out a chuckle, thinking about the number of beds you visited during your short stay in the Devildom. Mammon, Asmo, Beel, Solomon, Barbatos… Quite impressive, considering the constant danger and stress you have to deal with.

You frown. Your theory about some love curse seems more possible the more you think about your personal life. Which, at this point, is more public than personal. But that’s a headache for another day. Right now, you need to focus on other matters.

“Yes, it is my personal part of the castle, and the room we just left was my bedroom.” The demon nods, hiding a shadow of amusement behind his shiny eyes. “This space,” he looks around, countless different items start flying in the air quicker. “It is more like a workplace for me. Magical manipulations, especially with time, are more precise here. I’m sure you can also feel the unusual atmosphere of this place.”

“So what kind of manipulations did you use to bring me back to life?” you ask, trying to hide nervousness in your voice. Was that some kind of necromancy? Are you technically a zombie now?

“Nothing too complicated, at least in my area of expertise,” Barbatos lightly smiles, approaching you. He stops at arm's length, scanning you with his creepy eyes one last time, to make sure that your body works as intended. “I used a handy time spell, that lets me restore objects to their original state. Usually I fix broken items with it, and, thanks to certain demons, I’ve had a lot of practice with it and mastered it to perfection. The human body is much more complex, of course, but with a bit of skill and persistence, nothing is impossible. It took me several days, but I’m quite pleased with the results. I hope you are as pleased as I am.”

“Wait, several days?!” You stare at the demon in shock. “What happened while I was… dead?”

“Nothing,” Barbatos smiles pleasantly.

“What… what exactly do you mean by that?”

“I stopped time the second I’ve put you to sleep. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to work in peace. It’s still frozen, by the way, only my part of the castle is functioning as usual,” Barbatos casually explains, like this kind of shit is completely normal. “I’ll return the flow of time once you are ready. I believe that since your disappearance, one hour has passed. There were a lot of witnesses to Solomon’s death, but I doubt that anyone besides Young Master and Lucifer understood what happened to him. I took him to my workplace, and, after obtaining permission from Young Master to act as I found necessary, I went looking for you as soon as I could. After restoring your body, I helped your soul return inside by filling you with my energy. Solomon’s soul was even easier to deal with since he has magic of his own…”

“That’s… Okay, please, stop talking for a second, my head can’t handle such atrocious info-dump.” Before you realize what you’re doing, you put a hand over Barbatos’ mouth. You can swear that this man doesn’t need to breathe at all; his monotone lecture didn’t stop even for a moment. Levi definitely has a worthy contender. The steward obediently falls silent, giving you a minute to compose yourself.

You close your eyes and take several deep breaths, trying not to think that you just shut the mouth of the most powerful creature ever. No matter how strong Lucifer and Diavolo are, nothing can top time magic. Barbatos starts talking only after you remove your hand from his face. You didn’t notice that you kept it there for the whole minute. Well, he didn’t tear it off, so it doesn’t matter.

“My apologies,” the demon says, slightly slower than before. You’re grateful, your head is still dizzy from all the horrors you went through, so it’s difficult to focus on his words while he’s talking too fast. “I know that you like your questions answered as quickly and precisely as possible, but there is no quick way to explain everything that happened.”

“It’s fine, I just needed a breather, that’s all,” you sigh, trying to reassure the demon with a smile. “I’m actually surprised that you’re answering so honestly. Such mysterious personas like you are usually not that talkative.”

“I don’t see any harm in providing honest answers to your questions. Of course, I can’t openly discuss some topics, but I’m glad to assist you as much as I can.”

“Thanks.” Your smile is more genuine this time. You return your attention to Solomon, who is still flying in the air. “Is he in such a state because we were bonded by his spell? And the Collector of Souls… Did it fail to kill me properly, thanks to his magic? Did Solomon accidentally save me?”

You stare at the pale man, and a warm feeling fills your heart. Solomon wanted to shield you from the pain, but accidentally stood between you and death. You couldn’t be happier to find him alive and well. If he suffered because of you, you would never forgive yourself. Well, maybe it’s not completely true; you would be able to move on eventually. Still, Solomon’s death would’ve sucked. You hardly deserve such a sacrifice.

“No. If anything, he made things much worse than they should’ve been.” Barbatos’ rough words intervene in your thought process. You turn around to face the demon once more. You wonder how many more times Barbatos will shock you today. “Because of his spell, the artifact couldn’t collect your soul properly. If there was no intervention, you would be trapped within the mirror, dormant pact marks wouldn’t prevent it either. It would be much easier to save you from the artifact: you would be stuck, but you’d be safe. Instead, your soul was left outside, exposed to all the demonic energy in the castle, which drained your spirit alarmingly fast. Not to mention that the spell backfired on Solomon, making his soul leave his body and doubling my work.”

“Oh…” you’re not quite sure what to say. Solomon’s good intentions were pure, but the most horrible parts of your adventure could’ve been avoided if not for his spell. You don’t blame him, of course. Your brain may be messed up, but not to such a degree. Still, you feel some kind of relief. You own your life to too many creatures already, so you’re actually glad that Solomon is not one of them. No matter how much you yearn for independence, somebody always has to rescue you. But Solomon is not a hero, he’s a victim, just like you. One less person to own your life to. One less burden to bear. “Well, that’s unfortunate, but at least everything ended well.” You try to sound as positive and energetic as possible, despite the emptiness inside of you. You hope that you can return to normal soon. “I actually realized that I didn’t thank you properly for the rescue. I’m in your debt, so if you’ll ever need anything, anything at all, I’ll do my best to help you. It’s a promise.”

“Thank you for your kind words,” Barbatos bows so low that his head almost touches the ground. What a freaky dude. “But you don’t owe me anything. I merely tried to fix my mistakes, none of this would’ve happened if I was more attentive.”

“Come on, man, don’t make me beg you to accept my gratitude,” you frown. “We can toss polite words at each other for all eternity, but let’s get on with it. I don’t care who caused this, but, at the end of the day, you saved me. Literally returned me from the grave. That’s a very big deal. Just accept my promise, you may use it or not. But I’ll be there for you if you ever need me, okay?” 

Barbatos silently looks at you, but you have no idea what he is thinking about. His face is annoyingly emotionless, but at least his eyes are as shiny as ever. They are still creepy, but you’re getting used to them. Everything about this demon makes you nervous, especially after you learned about his powers. But the more you spend time with him, the less intimidating he seems. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, and you don’t really trust the guy, but still… It’s a start. But a start of what, exactly?

“Fine,” Barbatos responds at last, tearing you from your thoughts once again. “I accept your promise.”

“Great,” you smile at him awkwardly, not sure what to do next.

“Are you ready to continue the day?” the demon asks, watching you closely.

“Do you think I should tell everybody what happened?”

“Act however you seem fit. I’ll have to tell everything to Young Master, but I believe that he won’t expose you if you decide to keep it secret. Still, I doubt that Solomon can be fooled into thinking that he simply suddenly fell asleep.”

“Yeah…” You sigh, turning to the unconscious sorcerer. You’ll have to tell him the truth. The conversation with him was in your plans anyway, but you didn’t suspect that you would have to discuss how you both died. Talking about feelings is already bad enough, but this is on another level.

You won’t manage this kind of heavy conversation with every single creature that is waiting for you in the ballroom. So you can only hope that they’ll believe your lies, at least temporarily.

“All right,” you say, taking a deep breath, preparing for whatever awaits you next. You try to hide the darkness deep inside you, hoping that you can act cheerfully enough not to alert demons and angels. No matter how much you want to stay alone with your thoughts, you have to suck it up and put on a smile. Even if you actually want to cry somewhere in the corner. “I’m ready.”

***

“I definitely appreciate the chance to see everybody in such funny poses,” Solomon looks around, admiring demons and angels, stuck in mid-conversation or mid-action. Some of them look like they’re arguing, some look worried or confused. The only demon who is calm and stands still like a statue is Diavolo. You can swear that you saw his eyes move for a second, but you decide that you’re just going crazy. Still, you feel uneasy, so you back away from his line of sight. “But I will appreciate the information more. What exactly happened?” The magician looks at you, waiting for answers.

Barbatos, Solomon, and you returned to the ballroom as soon as the sorcerer woke up. Your fellow human felt as dizzy as you were when he first came to his senses, but he regained his strength incredibly fast. By the time you reached the ballroom, he was ready to hear the story of your crazy adventure.

“Solomon,” you gather your thoughts, thinking about the right words. Barbatos simply stands still next to his prince, allowing you to lead the conversation. But you don’t think that it’s the right place for the topics you have to discuss. At the very least, you should be alone. “I’ll tell you everything, okay? Just not here. Right now, all you need to know is that before the time stopped, you fell unconscious, and Barbatos took you away. And I was... lost.”

“Lost?” Solomon arches his eyebrow and crosses his arms.

“That’s what others should think, yes,” you nod. This is a very childish excuse, but the situation will look strange anyway, no matter what lies you come up with. Besides, you really got lost before you met the fucking mirror. “I went to look for Simeon, Mammon, and Luke, got lost, and wandered too far from you. Your spell backfired because of that, and we both fell unconscious. Barbatos decided to teleport you to his private quarters and went looking for me. And now we have to walk through the doors and tell everybody how much of a hero Barbatos is.”

“Hm,” Solomon squints his eyes, staring at you. “This version can trick angels, who don’t know how human magic works, and younger brothers, who are generally not the brightest bunch. But anyone with intelligence higher than average will know that you’re lying. By that, I mean that Satan, Lucifer, and Diavolo will not buy it.”

“Diavolo will learn about everything from Barbatos anyway.” You glance in the direction of the prince. He stands still as before, but something is off. You feel goosebumps all over your body: you’re in his line of sight again. Did you not move enough? Or he can move despite frozen time? Barbatos’ power is unsettling, but there is something absolutely terrifying in the theory, that there is a person who can resist it. You hope that you’re either insane or that Barbatos just decided not to freeze his future king. If Diavolo can withstand Barbatos on his own accord, this is truly scary. You’ve never thought about him as a powerful entity, but he is literally the ruler of this whole realm. You remember the pile of corpses right beneath the castle. Remember how unbothered seven little demons were by some random body in the corridors of Diavolo’s home. He is a man who made the Avatar of Pride obey. How mighty do you have to be to make someone like Lucifer kneel?

“Castiel?” Solomon’s concerned voice returns you to reality.

“Yes, sorry.” You smile awkwardly, trying to concentrate on the sorcerer. You decide to ignore the burning yellow gaze for now. If Diavolo wants to play pretend, you’re not gonna get in the way. “Where was I?... Right, I don’t really worry whether Lucifer and Satan believe me. They don’t care about us enough to ask questions. I’m sure that they’ll just shrug it off.”

“If you say so,” Solomon answers uncertainly. He turns back to see what made you nervous, but he doesn’t spot anything unusual besides Barbatos who stands next to Lord Diavolo.

“Are you ready?” The hellish butler asks, putting his white gloves back on. You had no time to appreciate a rare treat of his bare hands, but now they’re gone. Who knows if you get to see them ever again.

“Yes.”

***

The first few minutes after Barbatos unfroze time were awkward. Solomon did his best to support your shabby story, so demons and angels had no choice but to believe you. But the sorcerer was right: Satan and Lucifer saw right through you. You don’t think that you managed to fool Simeon, either. But they didn’t bother you with questions, so you still consider it a win. Diavolo didn’t say a word, but his golden eyes didn’t move from your humble persona, not even for a moment.

You half-expected to hear Belphie’s voice in your head, but he stayed silent. It wasn’t surprising, but he promised to look after you, so you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Though disappointment quickly changed to fear. You felt a cold hand squeezing your insides from a simple thought: Barbatos had your body all to himself for several days. Did he see Belphie’s pact mark? Luckily, it was situated on a rather private part of your body, but how can you be sure that the demon didn’t see anything?

Despite reading anything you could find about pacts and marks, you still don’t know shit. From your understanding, marks don’t radiate any energy when they are not used, so they shouldn’t have been detectable while you were unconscious. But this creepy fucker can stop time and see through skin, you doubt that he didn’t notice anything. How knowledgeable is he about your progress with pacts? Could he think that it’s someone else’s mark? Now you’re just grasping at straws.

But the most interesting part is: how much does he and Diavolo know about Belphie? Do they help Lucifer hide him in the attic? Or Lucifer acts on his own? Somehow, you highly doubt that the prince and his butler don’t know anything about the youngest brother. You witnessed enough of their power to be sure that it’s almost impossible to fool them. Even for Lucifer. Diavolo can literally detect lies.

So they either help him or they don’t intrude in Lucifer’s business, who knows why. Either way, you’re fucked. Barbatos for sure knows about your pact with Belphie, so Diavolo knows about it as well. Will they rat you out to Lucifer? Or will they let it slide?

You thought about it all lunch. You didn’t taste anything you ate, which usually would be impossible, given that it was Barbatos’ cooking. Your brain was in shambles, and you couldn’t get your shit together, no matter how hard you tried. You may have attracted a ton of worried glances, but you couldn’t force yourself to act like everything was okay. Everything was not okay.

You wanted to distract yourself with heart-to-heart talk with Solomon, so you headed to his room, but you were stopped by the last person you wanted to see.

Diavolo squished you into a quite claustrophobic niche in the wall. Usually, you would be happy with this turn of events, but not today. Gods, you want to run away from him as fast as possible. You can’t believe that you talked with him about his virginity just this morning. You didn’t know how carefree you were several hours ago.

“Barbatos told me what happened,” he says without his usual smile. You decide not to look him in the eyes. Who knows how this lie detector of his works? Maybe you need eye contact or physical contact. If this shit is unconditional, you’re done.

“Yeah, that was quite an adventure,” you reply nervously, staring at a golden button on his chest. You’re lucky that he’s so tall, it’s easy to avoid the prince’s gaze.

“Words can’t describe how sorry I am for everything that happened. If there is anything I can do, please, let me know. I’ll do everything to…” You stop listening to his little speech. You hear in his voice that he is genuine, but you can also feel his piercing stare on your head. At this point, you won’t be surprised if he can shoot lasers from his eyes.

Damn, you’re a mess. Since when are you scared of a hot guy who presses you against the wall? Perhaps he turned out to be a little bit more powerful than you anticipated. But you knew from the start that he was strong, so what changed?

Fucking mirror, fucking death, fucking powerful demons that make you feel like trash. You thought that you could fool them, but is it even possible? Earlier, you decided to find something that would counter their magic, but it’s easier said than done.

And now, your current biggest secret is possibly exposed, and you have no idea how to fix it. If only it was all about you and your ego, it would be easy to shove your emotions up your ass and accept defeat. But the existence of your whole home world depends on your competence. Now you know that it wasn’t a simple quest to win over a couple of demons and drag them into the contract. You should’ve been discreet and careful, but you’ve never thought about the two most powerful players in this game: Diavolo and Barbatos. You exposed all your cards to them before you realized how dangerous they were. And you don’t know anything about them, you have no idea about their goals. Lucifer was never a real threat. They were.

“Castiel?” Diavolo slightly touches your arm to get your attention. He sounds worried, just like everybody else in this damn castle. The darkness within you stirs with hatred and disgust.

“What?” you angrily hiss at him, lifting your head and staring right into his wide eyes. You would never forgive yourself if you started to fear this gaze.

“Are you… Alright?...” Diavolo backs off a little to give you more space; he looks surprised by your sudden outburst.

You, for one, are not surprised. You’ve never felt so many emotions at once, ever since your first day in the Devildom. The moments when you first woke up in the courtroom appear vividly in your mind. You wanted to run. You wanted to fight every single person who dared to kidnap you. But you had to suppress these feelings, had to act smart, had to play by their rules. And where did it lead you? To the dead end.

You’re filled with anger. With hate. With wrath.

The person who is responsible for all the pain you experienced is standing right in front of you. But you can’t hurt him. Not in a million years. And it pisses you off so much that it’s getting hard to breathe. You want to tear him apart. Not because you genuinely hate him. Because he dared to be so strong that it demoralizes you. All your previous enemies, no matter how powerful they were, motivated you to grow and improve. Diavolo is the first one to make you sincerely scared. To make you give up. Even if it’s a temporary weakness, it’s unacceptable.

Objectively, Lucifer did much more damage than Diavolo. Hell, the prince was nothing but nice to you. But the discovery of his power combined too timely with your death and your possible failure to save your home. It’s your second-lowest point in life, and this shit hurts. And when you’re hurt, you want to hurt others.

“Castiel, please, calm down.” Diavolo tries to make the distance between you bigger, but you don’t let him do it. You move closer with each step. You have no weapons on you, but it doesn’t matter. You want to feel flesh under your fists, taste blood on your lips.

There is fear in Diavolo’s eyes, and it absolutely delights you. The warmth of Beel’s pact mark fills your body.

“Ca… Ugh!” The prince’s pleas are interrupted by a single punch that sends him right into the nearest wall. His head crashed into the stone so hard that it left visible cracks. Blood starts pouring all over Diavolo’s face, painting his skin red. The demon looks shocked and disoriented. You wish you felt a little bit of guilt or remorse, but you can only feel tremendous satisfaction.

Suddenly, you hear applause.

You turn around and meet shiny, green eyes. Satan stands nearby, leaning on the wall and enjoying the show. He claps loudly, his grin indicates endless approval of your actions.

“Feels good, isn’t it?” he asks joyfully. “But it’s nearly not enough, I see it.”

“Satan? What exactly is going on?” Diavolo doesn’t waste time and stands back up. The blood keeps running down, but he doesn’t pay much mind to it. The prince almost looks angry, but the confusion with your actions doesn’t allow him to fully dive into rage.

“I thought it was obvious, Lord Diavolo. You were invited to a fight,” Satan grins wider, ready to witness more bloodshed.

“Is that your doing?” The prince frowns, inspecting you for any traces of curses or spells.

“Of course not! He was like that since the first day, you should’ve noticed,” The Avatar of Wrath exclaims, then returns his attention back to you: “I always knew that there was something devilish inside you. An ordinary person can’t bite off a chunk of someone’s neck like it’s nothing.”

“Castiel, don’t listen to him. Are you feeling better now? Maybe I should send for a doctor?” Diavolo’s kindness is so sweet that you almost want to puke. You can only smirk. Your right hand aches with a pleasant pain from punching the prince’s face. You want him to bleed more.

“Lord Diavolo, if I may,” Satan intrudes despite Diavolo’s dissatisfaction. “Speaking from experience: when a person is in such a state, they won’t listen to reason. Better give him what he wants, he’ll return to normal once he spills all his anger out.”

“And what exactly do you think Castiel wants?” the future king asks warily, without moving his gaze away from you.

“A fight, of course.”

“You must be joking…” Diavolo sighs and shakes his head.

“I’m dead serious. Better… Oh,” Satan doesn’t finish his sentence, watching you charge at the prince once again. You’re tired of talking. Ever since you woke up, all you hear is endless chatter. You need to get physical, to get violent. No matter how hard you try to be better, to repress your feelings, this dark part of your soul is always with you. And, to be honest, you fucking love this part.

This time, you don’t get the upper hand thanks to the element of surprise. Diavolo is aware of your intentions, and he won’t let you hurt him that easily. He blocks four of your punches in a row but misses the fifth one in his stomach. But it doesn’t hurt him, his damn abs are as hard as armor. While you’re distracted on landing your fifth strike, Diavolo finally punches you back.

It feels like a mini-explosion inside your head, your legs almost lose balance. For several seconds, you don’t see anything besides pitch-black shadows. The first thing you see when your sight returns is the concerned face of the future king. But you don’t need his concerns, you need his blood.

This punch was even better than the first one. You strike right into his nose, dropping him to the ground. The pact mark fills you with strength that lets you wipe the floor with a fucking demon prince, and it feels fantastic. You prefer not to think about a simple fact that Diavolo just lets it happen, and that you wouldn't have a chance in a real fight. It feels too good to pay atention to logic and reason. You climb right on top of Diavolo to beat him up even more. He misses a couple of hits, but blocks the rest. It feels so right to have him under you that you let this thought slide into your brain with ease. A dirty smirk dances on your lips.

Diavolo uses his opportunity to jerk forward and pin you to the ground. He makes sure to fixate your legs with his hips and your arms with one hand. You both breathe heavily, blood drips from your wounded faces. You’re completely relaxed, at last. Your smirk turns into a real smile.

“Is it… over?” Diavolo whispers to you, not sure if he can let you go.

“Yeah, I think so,” you grin, enjoying the feeling of his weight on you. You start to feel slightly guilty, but your conscience doesn’t bother you that much. Still, you feel the need to apologize: “Sorry for that. I must’ve scared you.”

“Yes, that was… Very sudden, indeed,” Diavolo awkwardly removes his grip from your arms. “Do you feel better now?”

“Yep, I feel awesome,” you reply, watching how the wounds on Diavolo’s face start to heal. But your dark envy for his demonic power isn’t there anymore. No matter how shitty your chances are, you’ll do it. You’ll reach the end with dignity. Not because you have some magical carvings all over your body. But because you’re persistent. You have what it takes.

Whether you’ll succeed or not doesn’t really matter. You’re not suited for the role of a hero, you always knew that. Of course, you’ll try to save the world and all that, but you won’t beat yourself up for failing. Your opponents are ten times stronger than you, but you won’t let it break you. You’ll learn, you’ll improve, you’ll do your best.

And you’ll have fun along the way.

Chapter Text

Telling myself I won't go there
Oh, but I know that I won't care
Tryna wash away all the blood I've spilt
This lust is a burden that we both share
Two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer
Souls tied, intertwined by pride and guilt

David Kushner – Daylight

“Do you have any clothes you can change into? If not, I can ask Barbatos to find something for you.” Diavolo gently presses his palms to your face, healing the nasty bruise that he himself inflicted. You’re sitting next to each other on your bed, just like when you were discussing the prince’s personal life earlier this morning. You’re not sure in which case the atmosphere in the room was more awkward: when you were talking about Diavolo’s virginity or now, right after you’ve beaten the shit out of each other?

Once you came to your senses, Diavolo ordered Satan to keep his mouth shut about everything that happened and quickly dragged you into your shared bedroom. If anyone saw you both injured and in bloodied clothes, there would be a lot of unnecessary complications.

You smirk; a fight between the exchange student and the future king. So far, the retreat has been a tremendous success indeed, and only half of the first day has passed. Journalists from Spicy News would sell their right hands to get a chance to document everything that is happening in this castle. You would never have guessed that you’d get a chance to throw hands at Diavolo. If anything, you thought that Lucifer would be your first big target. Not the cheerful, ever-smiling prince. But you don’t feel too guilty, the demon barely noticed the scratches you left on his head. Perhaps it wasn’t fair to treat the guy this way, who knows how much mental damage you caused by your sudden outburst. Then again, he kidnapped you. Fuck his feelings.

“Yeah, I have an extra t-shirt. I’m quite notorious for destroying my wardrobe on a daily basis, so I came prepared.” You smile at Diavolo, enjoying the feeling of his healing magic and warm hands on your face. You may not care about his feelings, but it doesn’t stop you from taking pleasure in his company.

“Wonderful,” Diavolo gives you a weak smile and removes his hands. “I’ll ask Barbatos to wash everything, so don’t worry about these… stains,” he says, lowering his gaze and staring at the blood on your clothes. Your whole face and upper body are covered in red liquid, but it’s impossible to tell whose blood it is. Diavolo looks just as rough. “We can’t leave the room in such a state, but I’m worried that Lucifer can come any second. Do you mind if we use the bathroom together, to clean up as fast as possible? Or you’ll prefer to go first?”

“Wow, not bad for a virgin, Your Majesty,” you snicker, making Diavolo slightly blush and awkwardly scratch the back of his head. It feels strangely satisfying to bully this man, just like with Levi. Hm, it makes you wonder if Levi is also a virgin. It would be hella funny if that nerd managed to get laid before his hunk of a prince. “Why not? It’s not like we’re gonna be stark naked. Unless it’s what you were hoping for.”

“I can assure you, that was not my intention,” Diavolo protests, still avoiding looking you in the eyes.

“Yeah-yeah, let’s go, before Lucifer kills me for assaulting his prince,” you reply carelessly, jumping to your feet and heading toward the bathroom. You take off your shirt on the way there, tossing it under your bed. You can only hope that Lucifer won’t find it.

This time, you remember about Belphie’s mark, so you make sure to pull up your pants as high as possible. It’s still uncertain whether Barbatos and Diavolo know about this pact, so you better be careful, just in case you didn’t fuck up tremendously already.

Diavolo silently follows you, he doesn’t make a single sound. So it’s really baffling when you turn around and the first thing you see is his nipples. You spend several seconds admiring the view, no doubt embarrassing the demon even more. Well, if he doesn’t like something, he can always speak up. But he just stands there, letting you gawk at his chest. The real thing is so much better than the infamous giant statue in the Academy.

The fucker looks fantastic, even with his face fully covered in blood. You know for a fact that you don’t look half as good, but that doesn’t stop Diavolo from sneakily checking you out in return. You can’t help but be confused by the number of masochists in this damn realm. The prince is constantly surrounded by a crowd of hot guys. But here he is, staring with his golden eyes at the human, who dared to punch his face several times. Maybe powerful, ancient entities have a fetish for idiots, who are not scared to openly confront them? That would partially explain Lucifer’s kiss. But you won’t give up the theory that there is a curse that twists everyone’s minds. No matter how much your attitude and appearance match demonic tastes, the situation is getting more absurd with each passing day.

Besides, no matter how hot the prince is, he is a serious obstacle to your plans. If not an enemy. And getting close to Diavolo, who can fucking detect lies, would be beyond stupid. So, instead of teasing or flirting, you decide to act responsible, for once. You silently turn on the water in the sink and start washing your face. You kind of regret that you don’t have the stuff that Asmo gave you on your first day. It was very good for washing off blood.

While you focus on the cleaning, your thoughts wander back to the future king. You won’t interact with Diavolo more than necessary, it’s too risky. Before the retreat, you had plans to maybe befriend the guy, it could be useful. But after all the revelations it would be incredibly dangerous.  

Diavolo approaches and joins you in silent cleaning. Thankfully, this bathroom has two sinks, so you can avoid wasting time and wash as fast as possible. It’s actually a very luxurious bathroom, even by royal standards. In addition to the double sink, there is a giant shower cabin that is the size of your bedroom back in the Human world, and a huge bathtub that occupies half of the room. The prince, thanks to his sheer size and royal demeanor, looks suitable in such an entourage. But you just feel small; compact, and cozy environments are much more to your tastes.

“Can I ask you a question?” Diavolo suddenly breaks the silence while wiping his face with a towel. It would be wiser to avoid answering anything this guy asks, you fucked up enough for one day. But, as always, your curiosity is much stronger than common sense.

“Well, you can certainly try. But I don’t guarantee that you’ll get an answer.” You pick up another towel and bury your face in it.

“Sounds good enough.” Diavolo removes the fluffy fabric from his face and leans on a sink, crossing his arms and frowning. You’re getting used to his frowning face, but you miss his genuine smile. Unfortunately, you didn’t give Diavolo many reasons to smile lately. “I’m wondering why you attacked me. Was it just a ‘wrong place, wrong time’ situation? Or were you mad at me specifically? Because if I did something that made you angry, I want to know.”

You give yourself several seconds to consider whether you want to answer. In the end, you decide that the question is innocent enough, and you can respond without any risks.

“It’s a little bit of both,” you sigh, copying Diavolo’s pose and leaning on the sink next to him. “The shit that happened to me, my fucking death, it was a lot. I was really… upset. And angry, because I couldn’t protect myself, and I had to rely on the grace of others to survive. And after I realized how powerful you are and how weak I am in comparison, it was the last straw. I’ve always had these… urges, even had to go to therapy, to learn how to control myself better. I’ve made some good progress, but the whole death thing, it just… Really threw me back, you know?” You turn to face Diavolo, who listens to you very attentively. You see a hint of sympathy in his eyes. “But just so we are on the same page: it was a temporary weakness, that’s all. I don’t think that you’re better than me in any way. I truly believe that if I really put my mind into it, I could beat even your mighty ass.”

“I see,” Diavolo smiles slightly, but there is something sad in his expression. “And what if I don’t want you to see me as some kind of final boss? I want to be neither a person who makes you uneasy nor a motivator for seeking more power. I hate the idea that you want to beat my ‘mighty ass’. I want us to be in the same team, to be allies. Do you think it’s possible?”

“Allies, huh…” you repeat after him, sinking into your thoughts. The idea that just came to you is, no doubt, the stupidest idea you’ve ever come up with. But if you decide to take this risk, you can potentially get incredibly valuable information. The thing is: how much trust are you willing to put into Diavolo? Is he genuine, or is it a trick? Do you know him well enough to be able to predict his reaction to your actions? So much uncertainty, but you’re used to dealing with even shittier chances. You’ll go all in, and if it burns you, so be it. “I actually also have one question for you, Your Majesty. And since I don’t have a lie detector built in, I want you to swear that you’ll answer me honestly. If you do that, I can’t see why we couldn't potentially be in the same team.”

“All right, I swear to answer honestly,” Diavolo agrees immediately, golden eyes shine with determination, as always.

“Where is Belphegor?”

…

The shock on the prince’s face is a sight to behold. It takes him some time to process your question. He lets out a shaky laugh:

“I… I expected literally any question other than this one. Didn’t know that you’d actually… You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” He smiles awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. You stay silent, patiently waiting for his response. “All right, if that’s how you want to do it… Belphegor is in the attic of the House of Lamentation. And before you ask: I know that you two made a pact, yes.”

Well, there you have it. There is no way back now.

“So, are you helping Lucifer to hide him, or what?”

“No. Lucifer acts on his own. He hides Belphegor even from me.” Diavolo frowns, a nervous smile leaving his face. This will be an unpleasant conversation. But it’s too late to back off now.

“Why would he do that? I thought he was endlessly loyal to you.”

“He is. But at the end of the day, Lucifer’s first priority will always be his family. I don’t hold this against him. But even so, I didn’t expect him to try to hide his brother from my fair judgment.”

“Judgment? What the hell did Belphie do?” you ask. Though you suspect that you already know the answer.

“He was against the exchange program and constantly criticized my plans for the future of the Devildom. Which, of course, is not a crime. But after the decision to proceed with the exchange program was finalized, he became restless. I don’t know all the details of what exactly he said and meant to do. But Lucifer considered that it was severe and serious enough to lock him up and lie to me about his whereabouts. I’m pretty sure that he intended to bring death to as many humans as possible. Since you’ve already met him, I’m sure you agree with my conclusion.”

“So why didn’t you do anything? If you know everything already, why do you let this situation drag on?”

“I… hesitated,” Diavolo closes his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. “You see, no matter how powerful you are, it won’t save you from making mistakes. So when you say that you felt helpless after your death… I know how it feels. One wrong move, and I could make the Seven Rulers turn against each other. Or turn against me. Family problems are always a delicate matter. So, despite me truly believing that Belphegor deserves punishment, I stood aside. At least for some time. And then you arrived.” Diavolo raises his eyes at you, there is a warm glimpse deep within. “A human with no magic, I didn’t expect you to be a dark horse when you first arrived in the Devildom. But then you started making pacts at tremendous speed, and not just with anybody. You managed to bond with the most powerful demons in the whole realm. And imagine my shock when I learned about your pact with Belphegor,” Diavolo chuckles. “This was the moment I realized: you may be the key to resolving all this situation. You can do what I cannot, and I truly believe that you have all chances to deal with everything more or less peacefully.”

“In other words, you decided to make me clean up your mess,” you scowl, not sharing Diavolo’s optimism.

“I agree that it’s not fair to make you deal with it.” The prince’s smile slowly disappears. “But I think that only you will be able to maintain balance. You do this for your own reasons, and you couldn’t care less about local drama and politics, I understand that. And it would be so much easier for you if I just used force and my authority to resolve this mess. But if I intrude, the consequences will be unpredictable. For both our worlds. No matter the reason, whenever there is a large conflict in the Devildom or Celestial Realm, the Human world suffers as well. And there will be a conflict, no matter what. Our only hope for the harmless end of this story is you, Castiel.”

“So you decided to shift responsibility for your subordinates to me, a total outsider, because I dragged a couple of them into pacts? Seriously?!” You’re on the verge of shouting right into Diavolo’s face. When you first appeared in this cursed realm, your only responsibility was your own life. But over time, all the shit grew to ridiculous proportions, and now you have to deal with a threat to your world; a threat to the Devildom; family quarrels that can potentially cause war; Diavolo’s political stability, which apparently, only you can save; and fragile feelings of the whole swarm of ancient creatures that you need to care about, otherwise it may lead to a catastrophe. Not to mention that you have to resolve all that while dodging insane, mighty demons and crazy artifacts that want to kill you. You didn’t expect that this year would be a relaxing vacation, but this is just too much.

“Do you believe in fate, Castiel?” Diavolo asks, watching you closely.

“No, I already told you that it’s a ton of crap,” you sigh, putting a hand on your face in a tired gesture. If this conversation doesn’t end as soon as possible, you’ll get a severe headache.

“Well, I believe. I think that you were fated to get here, and be our savior.” Diavolo’s hand moves closer to you, but the prince hesitates to touch you.

“For God’s sake, Diavolo, don’t ever call me a fucking 'savior', or better yet 'hero', or I’m gonna puke.” Your face twists at the prince’s words. You’ve never wanted to piss off so badly in your entire life. You close your eyes and think about the reasons you’re doing all this shit in the first place: your home, your hard-earned appartment and stable job, Beel’s sad face… “Let’s imagine that I succeeded. What are you gonna do to Belphie?”

“I can’t let his disobedience slide, that’s for sure.” Diavolo frowns.

“So what, I’ll save the day, then you’ll appear and ruin everything once again? You think they’ll just let you drag him away? For the crime he didn’t even commit?”

“Castiel,” you’ve never heard him say your name in such a harsh tone. “I don’t think you understand my position here. I respect and care about the brothers, but beyond all that, I’m their future king. They agreed to follow the rules the day they appeared in the Devildom. I’ll allow them to resolve their family issues with your help, but I can’t let Belphegor do and say whatever he pleases without any consequences. And yes, I expect his brothers to accept my judgment and not stay in my way.”

“What are you planning to do to him, exactly? I saw the bodies of the demons that attacked me earlier. Is that how you always deal with your opponents?” you ask, trying to hide the nervousness deep within you. You’ve never seen Diavolo so serious before. It’s the first time you see the future king in him.

“Those demons attacked you, a person who is under my personal protection, on my territory. Since you’re a human, it may seem too harsh to you, but that’s how we deal with things here. Believe me, nobody expected them to see freedom again. They should’ve been locked up in the dungeons for all eternity. And that’s what everybody will think. But those four dared to cross my path, they threatened the future of the Devildom. I couldn’t let them live. Not after what they did to you and what they could’ve done beyond that.” Diavolo approaches and presses you to the sink, putting his hands on both sides. He doesn’t touch you, just traps in one place, towering above. A half-naked prince stirs certain natural reactions, but you’re too focused on the conversation to let them overtake you. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill Belphegor. It would undo all your achievements and put relationships between me and the brothers at risk. But how I’ll decide to punish him is none of your concern.”

“I thought you wanted to be in the same team,” you smirk, trying to ignore the bare chest right in front of your face. This fucker is doing it on purpose, you’re sure. Quite a dirty trick to make you lose concentration, but damn effective. “I would prefer to know your plans. It’ll help me deal with your mess more effectively.”

“Why are you so concerned about Belphegor? I find it most unusual,” Diavolo tilts his head to the side, observing you.

“It’s not about him, Your Majesty. But I see that you won’t tell me either way.” Diavolo smirks at your words. “And you clearly don’t favor any criticism of your decisions. But I hope that you’ll listen to a suggestion from your teammate.”

“Of course, I’m open to suggestions,” the demon smiles wider. “Especially from a teammate. Please, tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Do whatever you want with Belphegor. Just don’t separate him from his twin. Or you’re in for a ton of unnecessary trouble.”

“Your suggestion is noted,” Diavolo nods. “Anything else?”

“Yes, actually, one more thing.” You straighten up to reach Diavolo’s ear and softly whisper: “Go out and fuck somebody, Majesty.” The demon shivers with his whole body. “Chastity and self-denial can lead to, among other unplesant things, excessively violent urges. I think we will all sleep better if you just get laid after hundreds of years of celibacy. Try to lighten your load before you decide to deal with Belphie, okay?”

And at that, you dive under Diavolo’s arm, escaping the captivity and leaving the shocked prince behind. You quickly put on a t-shirt and head to the door. Solomon has waited for answers long enough. But before you can leave the room, the door opens, revealing gloomy Lucifer.

“There you are. Why am I supposed to look for you all over the castle?” The demon sounds annoyed, which is very common for him.

“I don’t know. Why were you running around the castle instead of checking the most obvious spot – our bedroom?” You smirk, noticing a slight twitch of Lucifer’s eye.

“Our bedroom… What a horrendous choice of words. Luckily, I have to sleep in the close proximity of such a pest for only two days.” Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “I came to remind you about today’s excursion, since you clearly didn’t listen when it was announced.”

“Huh? When was it?”

“Just before my brothers decided to embarrass themselves and started arguing about your persona. You seem surprised; you did not expect to have the rest of the day all to yourself, did you?” The demon twists his face in disgust from your stupidity. He’s trying a little bit too much, for your tastes.

“Come on, don’t be like that!” you smile. Diavolo is conveniently stuck in the bathroom, no doubt listening to your chatter. You lower your voice so that only Lucifer would hear you. “You can drop the act. We both know that you secretly adore me.”

Lucifer doesn’t acknowledge your attempt to anger him: “Main hall, in one hour. Don’t you dare to be late.”

And with these parting words, you are finally free. Solomon’s bedroom is just nearby, so you take around 20 steps and knock on the door. But instead of the sorcerer, you are enthusiastically greeted by Asmo.

“Tiel! I was just thinking about you! Come on in!”

“Sorry, but I need to speak with Solomon. Urgently. Do you know where he is?”

“I’m here,” the magician appears behind Asmo, lightly shoving him out of the way. “But we better speak elsewhere. Follow me, I know the place.”

“What?! You’ll just leave me here and have Tiel all to yourself?” Asmodeus whines, attempting to stop you both. “I want to have fun too!”

“I thought you were busy with your nails?” Solomon smiles politely, gently pushing you further away from the door.

“But!...”

“Sorry, nice nails though!” You wave at Asmo and follow Solomon. You silently walk through countless corridors. You're going so far that you don’t think you’ll be able to find a way back on your own. The magician seems to know this part of the castle quite well. Solomon leads you to one of the guest rooms on the other side of the castle. It doesn’t look like someone is living here, but there is no trace of dust or webs.

“I stayed in this room for some time in the past. I’m glad to see that it’s still the same,” the sorcerer smiles, looking around. It’s a simple room with simple furniture and decorations, which still look expensive. Nothing like Solomon’s room in the Purgatory Hall.

“You lived here while you were examining magical artifacts?” you ask, settling in one of the armchairs near the window. You get the privilege of admiring a beautiful view of the lake. Another place that almost became your grave.

“Precisely. It looks like Barbatos told you about our little project.” Solomon drops into another armchair on the other side of the window, looking content and relaxed.

“Yeah, this project is technically the cause of our death.” Your mouth is quicker than your brain, unfortunately.

“…Excuse me?” Solomon leans forward, looking confused.

“Sorry, that’s not how I wanted to tell you this.” You scratch the back of your head, gazing through the window. “So, long story short, I got lost and was killed by a magical mirror, the Collector of Souls. My soul left my body, and I had to wander around the castle till Barbatos found me. You were hit as well, since we were bonded by your spell. But Barbatos put you to sleep and transported both body and soul to his quarters. He fixed us there, and now we’re alive again.”

“…I see. I’m sorry that you had to go through this.” Solomon leans closer and gently pats your hand.

“I thought you would be freaked out by your death, not offering me your sympathies,” you say, carefully caressing his hand in return. Such demonstration of affection seems intimate but somehow appropriate. It makes your heart lighter.

“It’s not my first out-of-body experience. Besides, we are alive, aren’t we? I’m more concerned about your state than mine. It must’ve been challenging. The demonic magic is very harmful to humans, and the castle is the epicenter of it,” he says, squeezing your fingers.

“Well, I won’t play tough and admit that I was shitting my pants when it happened. But I’m more or less okay now. I just need more time, that’s all,” you smile, playfully stroking Solomon’s hand. It’s a little dry and chapped, just like his lips, but you like touching it anyway.

“If you need to talk with someone, I’m always ready to listen. I know how hard it is to let yourself lean on somebody, but life taught me how necessary it is to do this from time to time,” the sorcerer sighs. “By the way, why did you say that my and Barbatos’ project was responsible for our deaths?”

“The Collector of Souls was not removed only because it didn’t work on you. Barbatos decided that you’re resistant because you’re a human. But it was your magic that protected you, and I don’t have such convenient power. So Barbatos claims that your inspection was a failure.”

“Damn it, I asked him to let me help with the analysis part, but he insisted on doing everything by himself,” Solomon says with irritation, looking through the window. He turns back to you with a smile: “See? A great example of why it’s so important not to be stubborn and accept help when it’s offered.”

“Yeah, I’ll try to remember that,” you smirk, internally preparing for the next part of the dialog. You hope that if Solomon accepted news about his death like a champ, romantic talk will go just as smoothly. “There’s one more thing I wanted to discuss…”

“Before that… Here,” the sorcerer snaps his fingers, and your knife appears right before you. The same one that almost sliced Lucifer’s neck, but you were stopped by Solomon. Unfortunately.

“Thanks,” you say with gratitude, hiding the blade. You have to let go of Solomon’s hand, but maybe it’s for the best. “So, about that other thing I wanted to talk about… Um,” you struggle to come up with the right words, but it’s not surprising. Solomon smiles softly, waiting for you to start talking. “Look, I suck at these kinds of discussions. In fact, I’m so bad that 50% of the time it ends with a slap on my face. But I’ll try my best, because upsetting you is the last thing I want to do.”

“Hm, what a wonderful prelude.” Solomon puts his head on his hand, leaning on the armrest. He still smiles, but the softness is gone.

“I just wanted to clarify… who are we? How do you see our relationship?” you ask, nervously twisting your fingers.

“Oh, that’s what it’s about. You want to put on some kind of label,” the sorcerer nods thoughtfully.

“I just want to make sure that we’re on the same page. To avoid anyone getting hurt, you know?”

“Before I answer, I would like to hear your own thoughts on the matter.”

“Hey, dude, that’s not fair. I asked you first, and all that. Don’t you see that I’m already struggling as it is?” you protest, moving your glance away from the sly sorcerer. The view from the window is better anyway.

“Yes, I see it. And I have to admit that I find it quite amusing.” Solomon’s smile gets bigger. “But if you want your answer, you’ll have to cooperate.”

“Ugh, you’re the only one who doesn’t cooperate… Fine, I’ll start first,” you frown, trying to collect your thoughts. “Guess I should mention that I never really dated anybody? One-night stands are more my thing. I’m not used to… commitment. And, frankly speaking, now is not the time for dating. Too much shit is going on simultaneously, I simply can’t invest the time and energy that are needed for something serious. But I enjoy your company, and sex was amazing, so… yeah…” you finish awkwardly, avoiding Solomon’s eyes.

“So… You just want sex and occasional company?” Solomon asks, frowning thoughtfully. You have no idea what he thinks about your words.

“I guess it sums it up, yeah,” you nod.

“And if I told you that I wanted to try to date you, despite your possible lack of commitment?” the magician asks, seriously looking at you.

“In this case, I would be shocked at your lack of taste,” you try to smile. “When a person says that they are not worth it, you better believe them. You’ve witnessed the fight between brothers this morning, it’s a whole shitshow. And I seriously doubt that I’ll manage to survive till the end of this wonderful exchange program, so… I can tell you right now: I’ll either piss you off so much that you’ll turn me into a frog, or you’ll have to bury me in the near future, because I seem to attract all possible problems to myself,” you sigh, trying to understand Solomon’s reaction. “Sex without feelings is not for everybody. So if it’s not your style, it’s totally fine.”

“I wouldn’t say that it’s not my style, I just think that in your situation, you could use someone who you can trust. You think that it’s not the time for building relationships, but, in my opinion, you need support more than ever. When I first met you, I told you that you wouldn’t manage much without some backup. My point still stands. But, of course, I won’t pressure you. I don’t mind sharing a bed with you under your conditions. And I’ll provide my support as a friend, if you’re willing to accept it. Still, I think that we are missing out on a lot of benefits and potential.”

“And I think that you just dodged a bullet and avoided a ton of headaches.” You smile, relieved that you managed to discuss things calmly. Solomon is the most mature man in your current social circle. Others, though… You better not think about it; you decide to relax and enjoy your little victory. “So, um, do you want to celebrate our recent revival? To shake off some stress?”

“I can’t believe that I really thought of you as a romantic type after you brought me those flowers,” Solomon smirks, eyes shining cheerfully. Good, he is not sad or anything. Finally, something positive, for once. “But I’m afraid our celebration has to wait. We are having an excursion in 10 minutes, so we have to head back.”

“Shit, I totally forgot about it. Maybe they won’t notice that we’re gone?” You try to persuade the sorcerer one last time.

“Your eagerness is flattering, but I don’t want to anger Lucifer and Barbatos, and neither do you. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for ourselves later.”

“Fine…” you sigh and obediently follow Solomon.

***

The tour around the whole castle took hours. Diavolo was a tour guide, and he took his job seriously. He described every single painting and statue with such excruciating details and a ton of useless facts, that even Lucifer struggled to pretend that he was listening. The more you learn about Diavolo, the more similarities you see between him and Levi. Fucking nerds.

You almost fall asleep when Diavolo starts telling another "exciting" story about the origin of some terrifying statue. It’s impressive how such an intriguing piece of art can have such a boring background. Luckily, Mammon pokes your side just before you nearly collapse on the ground.

“C’mon, get yourself together! Lucifer is watchin',” he whispers in your ear. Mammon may worry about his older brother, but you don’t. You can see that Lucifer is exhausted from the whole excursion, just like everybody else. He won’t have the energy to scold you.

“Then keep me entertained,” you smirk at Mammon, irritating him.

“What am I, a clown?” he protests quietly. You don’t respond, continuing to smile at him. “Ugh, that’s exactly what ya think, yeah?! Fuck you, Cas. Treatin’ me like trash after Simeon chew me out. And it was your fault! Ya better apologize, or I’m gonna… I’m gonna…” Mammon lost his train of thought, trying to come up with a proper punishment.

“Spank me?” you offer.

“Yeah! Wait… NO!” He screams right into your ear, red as a tomato.

“Shhhh!” Lucifer hisses at you two from a distance. Yep, he is definitely exhausted. Usually he would punch Mammon at least once, but this time he doesn’t even try to come closer.

“By the way,” you continue whispering as if you weren’t interrupted. “How did Simeon learn about our plan?”

“It’s because of these stupid dances… Chihuahua said somethin’ like 'shit' when I – and it was entirely his fault! – stepped on his foot. I swear, Simeon was all the way on the other side of the room, but he somehow heard him! I blink once, and the fuckin' angel is already draggin’ me and the dog by ears toward the door! They still hurt, by the way!” Mammon expressively complains to you, trying to keep his voice down. You attempt to hold back laughter, but the demon notices your amusement anyway. “Yeah, sure, laugh, ya fucker!”

“Okay, relax,” you smile, patting his hair. Mammon instantly calms down. You hear someone’s growl, but you have no idea who that was. Maybe it’s Beel’s stomach again; the poor boy ate all his emergency snacks and is now suffering. “Remember how you asked me to make a photo of sleeping Lucifer? I’ll go for it today. Something tells me that he will sleep soundly.”

“Yeah? Be careful, this fucker is crazy, but ya already know that.”

“Actually, do you think Diavolo’s sleeping face is worth something? Or his half-naked photo? I might be able to get that.”

“Nah, don’t risk it. He is half-naked in his demon form anyway, so it'll be old news. Sleepin’ face can get us some coin, but Lucifer is more valuable. He’s always actin’ like a piece of shit, so if we show his crazy fans his 'vulnerable' side, they’ll go mad.”

“Wow, very good analysis, great job!” You smirk, patting his head once more.

“I'm not a kid, dumbass!” Mammon protests again, but doesn’t prevent you from playing with his hair. You stop before you provoke anybody; you have no energy for another big quarrel.

It takes Diavolo two more hours to narrate everything he planned, and you finally get a chance to get to Barbatos’ cooking. You hope that the corpses of poor souls that were killed by Diavolo (or Barbatos) are not used as ingredients. That would be a smart way of destroying evidence, but it seems they prefer to feed the bodies to someone else. To whom?

Beel is on the verge of death, but he handles himself well. You may or may not have seen him eating a couple of paintings, but you will never rat him out.

After a delicious dinner, your only desire is to fall asleep and never wake up. But as you’re about to head back to your room, you are stopped by Levi.

“Cas, um…” he starts nervously. Interesting. You patiently wait for him to continue, hoping that it will be something worth your time. “Can you meet me in the ballroom in… an hour, maybe? It’s important.”

“Sure, but how about telling me right away what you’re up to?”

“I can’t tell it here! Too many people around.” Levi turns his head left and right to make sure that nobody is spying on you.

“Fine, I’ll meet you in an hour, nerd,” you nod and head to the bedroom.

You walk in just in time to witness a glorious sight: Diavolo is changing into his pajamas, standing in nothing but his boxers. You regret that you left your phone in the backpack, you would be able to make some great photos. Before Diavolo would inevitably make you delete them. Still, if you’d managed to convince him that they were for your personal enjoyment only, he might’ve let you keep them.

“Castiel! If you want to use the bathroom, you’ll have to wait: Lucifer is there.” Diavolo smiles rather friendly. So he decided to act like nothing happened. Fine with you.

You’ve spent the hour playing on your phone and splashing in the shower. Finally, it’s time to go.

“Where are you going?” Lucifer asks you in a cold tone. Diavolo forced him to play cards, but the only thing the Avatar of Pride is interested in is several hours of sleep. Lucifer is extra annoyed right now, but it’s actually beneficial for you: the more Diavolo wears him down, the deeper his sleep will be.

“None of your business. Better focus on your cards; you’re losing big time,” you grin and escape before Lucifer can say anything back.

You find Levi in the ballroom, as promised. He looks really nervous, his fingers constantly grab the bottom of his oversized hoodie, threatening to tear it apart.

“So, what’s that about?” You stop next to him, waiting for explanation.

“Well, I… I think you saw my… fiasco, back when we were practicing dancing?” He lifts his orange eyes; his teeth torture his lower lip. “I think I… need your help…”

“I thought you didn’t like dancing. Why force yourself?” you ask curiously. You may be exhausted, but you’ll never say no to some dancing. Though you doubt that the nerd will let you even touch him.

“Diavolo’s orders, everybody needs to participate,” Levi sighs, but then suddenly blushes, looking somewhere at the wall behind you. “And there is someone… I want to dance with. So, will you help me?”

Oooh, now you get it. Now you have no doubts that Levi spent this hour before your meeting mentally preparing himself. He may be trembling and blushing, but he managed to be smooth enough to make you proud. How can you say no?

“Sure, dude, don’t worry, you’re in good hands. Let’s discuss first: do you want to be the lead or the follow?”

“What’s the difference? I’ll go with whatever is easier.”

“Well, as the name suggests, the lead leads, the follow follows. But in your case, it all comes down to one choice: do you want your partner to put their hand on your waist, or you prefer to hold their waist instead?”

“Wh-what?! Is that necessary?!” Levi shouts, backing away from you.

“That’s how this dance goes, I’m not the one who invented it. So, what’s your choice?”

“W-well… I think I’ll try to put my hand on… on your…” Levi really struggles to speak, but you think you got the message.

“All right, come here, place your hand right here,” you point at yourself. The demon approaches you slowly, throwing a lot of suspicious glances in the direction of the door. “If you run away now, I doubt that you’ll ever be able to dance with that mysterious person.” Your words make Levi freeze on the spot. “Come on, you’re braver than you think.”

“F-fine…” The demon comes closer and puts his trembling hand on your waist. He looks like he is about to pass out.

“See? You’re doing so well already,” you praise Levi, making him shake uncontrollably. Hm, maybe positive affirmations don’t work with him. So far, your little threat has been the most effective tactic. “Raise your other hand to the side. Higher. Higher. Try to straighten your back. More. Good.” You take his hand in yours and put your other hand on his shoulder. Levi is sweating, and you think you see a small tear on his cheek. Usually you would stop the lesson, but it’s Levi, he’s always like that. “Tell me if you can continue. You already did all the difficult stuff, we just need to learn some footwork.”

“I-I can… I think I can.” The demon gathers all his strength. This lesson will be a long one.

It took you two hours to make Levi move his legs somewhat acceptable. It went much better when you turned on the music on your phone, but he kept struggling. Still, no matter what, it was a tremendous success.

“I can’t believe that I actually did it.” Levi breathes heavily, like he just finished running a marathon. As soon as you let him go, he jumps to the other side of the room, as far from you as possible.

“I can’t believe it either. But you did it. I think that your partner will be very pleased,” you tease him. You doubt that he’ll be able to repeat this feat during the party, but he already went above and beyond. “Good job, Levi.”

“Th-thanks,” the demon shyly nods. “Can I… can I go now? I think I’m about to pass out or throw up.”

“Sure, dude. Good night.”

“G-good night…”

You take a deep breath once you’re left alone. It’s good to be alive, feel flesh on your bones, and be able to move your limbs around. If you ever become a ghost, you’ll go crazy rather fast from the lack of these sensations.

You decide to take your time and dance until you can’t move your legs. Exhaustion, heavy breathing, sweat on your body. It all feels so right, you can’t believe that you almost lost it because of a mirror. Music and dancing lift your spirits. If you could pet Cerberus right now, you would be almost the happiest person in the world.

But you can’t dance forever, there’s a job that needs to be done. You return to your room in the middle of the night, hoping that both your roommates are already asleep. So far, it seems like it: you definitely hear snoring from Diavolo’s bed, but Lucifer’s side is completely silent. You decide to go for it.

After making sure that you turned off all the sounds on your phone, you approach Lucifer’s bed. The worst part of this plan is your inability to turn off the flash. It’s pitch-black in here, you can’t take a photo without flashing Lucifer’s face. You have to pray that he is too tired to wake up from this.

You lift your phone and press the button. One second, and the deed is done; Lucifer didn’t move a muscle. You look at him: he looks more dead than simply asleep. You can see his silver hair in the dark, it shines through all the darkness. The man has the most troublesome family ever, and since they’re immortal, he is stuck with them for all eternity. Poor guy.

You turn around, opening the gallery and checking the photo. And you freeze. A pair of bright, red eyes stare at you from the screen. When did he?...

But you have no time to think, because the next second Lucifer drags you back by the collar and tosses on his bed. It's still warm from his body heat. The only thing you manage to do is throw your phone somewhere under your bed. You always hated the sight of his shiny eyes in the darkness. And now you have to look right at them. And at long, white fangs.

“Are you doing this on purpose, or are you just that stupid?” Lucifer whispers, almost growls at you. Diavolo continues to snore somewhere in the distance.

“Dude, I was just going to my bed, relax.” You try to lie your way out of this.

“So you are saying, that if I look under your bed, I won’t find a phone with my picture on it?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. You’re still not fully awake, go back to sleep.”

But you can’t be lucky, not with this brat. Lucifer stands up and starts walking toward your bed. You decide to stay still and wait for your punishment, you won’t be able to run away.

“What is this?...” You hear his concerned voice through the darkness. Lucifer returns with your bloodied shirt. Shit.

“A shaving accident. Give me that!..” You stand up and try to reach your shirt, but Lucifer doesn’t let you take it.

“Tell me what happened.” It’s not a request. It’s an order.

“I already told you. If you’re going to be an ass about it, fine. Keep it. I’ll just go to sleep.” You start walking toward your bed, but the demon grabs your arm. “Let me go. Now. Or you want to break my arm again? Fucking psycho.” He lets you go. Huh.

“Then tell me what happened when you 'got lost'. You’re hiding something, and I will find out what it is.”

“Good luck to you, cause I already told everything. Not my problem that you never listen. Sleep tight, jerk.”

You jump in your bed, regretting that you didn’t go to the shower first. But Lucifer’s bed is right next to the bathroom, and you don’t want to go in this direction.

He seems to go back to sleep, finally. Your phone is still under the bed, but you won’t risk getting it right now. You fall asleep, thinking about whether you technically got into Lucifer’s bed and can add it to your imaginary list, or it doesn’t count.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Yeah, tomorrow when the sun comes
Maybe I’ll wake up in an alley by my lonesome
And I’m starvin’ for the punishment cause I want, I want, I want

I wanna taste it all, diamonds and daggers
Strapped to the wall, louder, faster
I thought I’d seen it all til’ you dropped me to my knees
I’d beg and crawl for diamonds and daggers

Panic! at the Disco – Diamonds and Daggers

You don’t sleep well. Nightmares full of screams and deaths haunt you the whole night. You tremble like you have a fever; the sheets beneath you are soaked in sweat. But no matter how hard you try, you can’t wake up. Nightmares don’t let you go, trapping your mind within countless horrors that you can’t escape. It would be easier if these dreams weren’t real, just sick fantasies created by your exhausted brain. But every single one of these nightmares came from your memory, circling in your mind over and over, like a broken record. You can resist them while you’re awake, but right now, you’re defenseless.

Someone’s hand lies on your forehead, filling your body with warmth and calming energy. It caresses your wet hair and slowly drags you into the real world. You lean into this simple tenderness, smiling with gratitude. After a while, you open your eyes and the smile immediately fades. You expected to see the golden gaze, not the crimson one. Your instincts kick in, and you recoil as far as the bed allows.

Lucifer’s hand hovers right where your head just was. He doesn’t have his black gloves on, it’s the first time you see his red nails. And scars. Barely visible after hundreds of years, but they still haunt him. The demon slowly pulls back his arm, examining your reaction. He is calmly sitting on the edge of your bed, like he has every right to invade your personal space. You can’t say whether Lucifer is surprised by your reaction, insulted, or simply doesn’t care. His face doesn’t give you any hints.

“You were moaning in your sleep,” he says, glancing at the drenched pillow.

“Yeah, I had a wet dream starring your boss. By the way, where’s he?” you jest, looking around the room. Diavolo is nowhere to be seen.

Lucifer sighs at your obvious attempt at deception.

“He left several hours ago. He has to waste a lot of time on this retreat, but his work, especially after recent events, is as never-ending as ever. So make an effort, and try not to add even more problems and paperwork.”

“Jeez, I wonder, who was that person who destroyed half of the city and caused a lot of financial and reputational damage? Who was that mysterious troublemaker that forced Diavolo to organize the retreat in the first place?” You smirk, getting up on your feet.

“I assume that we both have our own answers to these questions that contradict each other. So let’s leave the debates for another time. Go to the shower, the breakfast is in half an hour.” Lucifer gets up and leaves the room, putting on his gloves as he walks.

Before you follow his advice, you pick up the phone from under your bed and send Mammon the spooky picture of Lucifer. You type “I failed :(” and march toward the bathroom, hoping that the photo will scare Mammon as much as it scared you.

The shower brings you back to life, washing away worries and fears. You decide to focus on today’s party: if everything goes smoothly, it can be fun. You’ve never been on a proper, high-class ball. If anyone asked you how you imagined demonic parties, before you got into the Devildom, you would come up with something like bloody rituals, sacrifices, and orgies. But it seems that the real demons are much more civilized, at least under Diavolo’s leadership. But you have no doubts that in the darkest corners of the Devildom demons still throw diabolical gatherings.

Suddenly, the door of the bathroom flies open, making you twitch and drop the shampoo bottle right on your foot. Ouch, that was surprisingly painful.

“Cas! Where are ya?!” Mammon dashes into the room and starts to spin his head, looking for you. His eyes land on you rather fast, and he freezes. You’re still in the shower, fully naked. Despite the situation, a small part of your brain that is responsible for caution reminds you to hide Belphie’s mark by immediately turning your front toward the demon.

Mammon starts hyperventilating, his eyes pop out of his skull, and his skin turns bright red from head to toe. It looks so entertaining that your anger partially disappears. But only partially.

“Have you completely lost your mind?!” You shout at him, picking up the dropped bottle and throwing it right into Mammon. The demon is in no condition to dodge your attacks, so your shot lands successfully, covering the demon’s head and clothes in sticky liquid. “How many times do I have to ask?! Knock, you fucking idiot!”

“I-I thought that Lucifer was killin’ ya right now! I ran here as soon as I got that photo!...” Mammon is making excuses, trying to regain his ability to breathe. “P-please, cover yourself with somethin’…”

“You know what? Fuck you, I’m not covering anything! And you’re not leaving either, you’ve brought it upon yourself!” You turn off the water, leaving the shower cabin and approaching Mammon. The demon starts shaking, not being able to move his gaze from your body. You admittedly should look fantastic right now, with wet hair and droplets of water all over you. But you don’t intend to reward Mammon for his stupidity, you want to punish him. The demon looks like he is about to pass out, so you decide that your tactic is working. “How do you think I managed to send this photo if Lucifer, presumably, is killing me? Can you use your brain at least once in your life?!”

“I didn’t think about it, okay?! Like you even have time to think in such situations!” Mammon protests, channeling all his efforts into looking you in the eyes instead of more interesting places. “You’re my human, I’m supposed to protect ya!”

“When did I become 'your human'? I don’t need your protection, thank you very much!” You growl right into his face.

“We have a pact! And that’s what every good Boss does: he protects his followers!” Your words clearly fly over Mammon’s head. “I’m your First, and it’s my responsibility to…”

“Mon,” you interrupt him with a tone that makes him instantly shut up. You move closer, making him back off, and press his back against the wall. You put your hand right next to his face. Mammon starts trembling harder. “I think you misunderstood our dynamic. If you want to establish some kind of hierarchy, I have bad news for you. I will be in charge, not the other way around. Luckily for you, I’m not into power plays outside the bedroom. I want to treat you as equal, and I expect the same respect in return. But if you ever decide to declare yourself my 'Boss'...” You lower your voice, almost starting to whisper: “I will put you on your knees and punish as thoroughly as I can. Am I understood?”

Mammon’s gaze is unfocused, his lips are slightly open, and his breath is uneven and shaky. It seems you melted his brain a little. This is getting dangerous, you didn’t plan to tease him, at least not to this degree. You hope that one day you’ll learn to think before saying something. Mammon quickly licks his lips, stares right into your eyes, and opens his mouth to give you an answer…

“Guys, these giant bathrooms have an echo, so quit shouting, the whole castle can hear your… Oh,” Satan chooses the perfect moment to appear in the room. He stops in his tracks once he sees you and Mammon in quite a compromising position. You immediately turn to him, hiding all the pact marks and leaving Mammon’s personal space. Satan doesn’t look too shocked. He puts a hand on his chin, attentively examining the scene. The demon looks like a zoologist who stumbled upon a rare mating ritual of some kinds of animals. “Am I interrupting something?” he asks with a smirk.

“I see that Mammon is not the only one who doesn’t know how to knock,” you frown, crossing arms over the chest.

“The doors to the bedroom and bathroom were both opened, so I don’t accept any criticism,” Satan replies, focusing his gaze on your hips. “So that’s what you’ve been doing: teaching Mammon how to knock? It will be great if you manage to teach him some manners. Though, I must admit, your way of training is most unusual.”

“Satan, I’m so disappointed in you,” you let out a theatrical sigh.

“Why?” The demon raises his eyebrow.

“You’ve got a golden opportunity to get into Lucifer’s bedroom and put some curses on his stuff. But instead, you’re wasting time mocking me and Mammon. Very shortsighted of you,” you smirk.

Satan doesn’t respond, simply disappearing behind the door. You can hear a lot of commotion, including the quiet mumbling of some spells.

“Make sure you don’t curse my shit!” You shout and turn back to Mammon. It’s very unusual of him to be so silent for so long. The demon is still red and trembling. Mammon closed his eyes, trying to regain control over his body. He’s rock-hard, even the appearance of Satan didn’t kill his arousal. Poor boy. “Hey,” you say softly, approaching Mammon once again. “It’s okay, don’t fight it.”

Mammon’s lips shake from embarrassment, the demon clenches his fists, leaving red scratches on his palms.

“No, Mon, that won’t do. Come on, come here,” you say, hugging the demon. He immediately throws his arms around you, pressing closer. Mammon hides his face on your shoulder, shivering from all the sensations. He’s too overwhelmed to speak. You can’t possibly leave him like that. You were the one who made him so worked up, so it’s your responsibility to make him feel better. “Listen only to my voice, okay? Focus only on me, I don’t want you to think about anything else,” you whisper into his ear, gently caressing his hair.

Mammon squeezes you into his embrace even stronger. He slightly nods. The demon practically jumps when you press your thigh to his crotch. But once you’re about to begin massaging him, he takes the initiative in his own hands. Mammon instantly starts grinding on your leg, his moans are muffled by your shoulder.

“That’s it, what a good boy you are,” you praise him, grasping his butt with both your hands. You press him closer to your thigh and begin moving your leg in unison with his moves. Mammon trembles more and more with each push, sliding on your leg back and forth like his life depends on it. You’re just glad that the material of his pants is not too rough, and it causes just a slight discomfort for your bare skin. Still, you wouldn’t stop him even if he was hurting you. The sight of Mammon, completely lost in his lust and sensations, is too glorious to spoil it. “You’re so beautiful like that. Don’t hold back.” Mammon responds to you with a sound that is half-whine and half-moan. The best sound you’ve ever heard. You can feel his dick pulsating even through his pants, it doesn’t take much to get him to this point. He’s ready. “Come for me, Mon,” you purr to him. A smile of satisfaction spreads across your lips as you feel him shiver especially strongly. His final moan gets especially loud as he releases right into his underwear.

Your own excitement feels a bit uncomfortable, but it doesn’t concern you that much. You focus on fondling Mammon’s body, giving him much-needed aftercare. You wish you could do more than that, but if you both don’t go to breakfast, Lucifer will appear shortly. And you can’t predict exactly what his reaction and actions will be.

“Hey,” you whisper, putting your hands on Mammon’s face and raising it from your shoulder. The demon looks absolutely stoned, still basking in the sensations from his orgasm. It almost feels cruel to interrupt this state. Your palms caress his cheeks in an attempt to get his attention. Mammon tries to focus his gaze on you, a lazy smile and hazy eyes indicate that he is still somewhere far away. “Mon, we have to go. The breakfast is about to begin.”

“Mhm…” the demon nods, without any attempt to let you out of his embrace. “I don’t wanna… Let’s just stay here.”

“Sorry, but that’s not an option,” you sigh, gently removing his hands from your body. Mammon whines quietly. “All right, that’s what we’ll do: you go to your room and take a bath. You’re not in the right state to go to breakfast anyway. I’ll bring you something to eat later, okay? But I need to go right now.”

“You’re treating him too well,” Satan suddenly opens the door. “Mammon, stop being a baby, you’re embarrassing yourself. Go to your room before that psychopath shows up.”

The appearance of Satan completely ruins the mood (and your boner), so Mammon obediently waddles away. You wipe yourself and start putting your clothes on, feeling green eyes on your body. You don’t really care. Exhibitionism is not really your thing, but you’re not bothered by someone witnessing you naked either. As long as they keep their distance and don’t touch you without permission. You make sure not to show him your back; Mammon may be too careless to detect anything unusual, but Satan will notice Belphie’s mark right away.   

“So, at the end of the day, you’re just as rude and ill-mannered as Mammon,” you smirk, finally putting the underwear on.

“I’m a demon, that’s exactly how we are. I can pretend to be polite, but only if it’s useful.” Satan smiles, he has no intention to let you prepare for the day in peace.

“So, why are you still here? I thought you left for breakfast long ago.”

“Well, somebody had to maintain the Silence spell, otherwise, Mammon’s screams would alert the whole castle. He has zero self-control,” the demon sighs.

“Damn, didn’t know you had it in you. Watching your big bro’s back while he gets it on, how wholesome. Not all heroes wear capes,” you laugh while brushing your hair. It’s still wet, but there’s nothing you can do about it right now.

“I didn’t do it for him. It’s my way of thanking you for letting me rummage through Lucifer’s stuff. And it’s partially a bribe, to ensure that you won’t tell on me.”

“Don’t worry, we’re in the same boat. I’ll be just as screwed as you are if Lucifer finds out who is behind this. I mean, it will be pretty obvious, but he won’t have any proofs, so he’ll have to fuck off.” You leave the bathroom and head to the dinner room. Satan follows alongside you.

“I’m glad that we reached an understanding. You know, so far, you’ve been doing rather well, for a human. Who knows, maybe I’ll deem you worthy of my pact for real one day.” Satan gives you a smile of approval.

“Oh? So I’m not cool enough for you, even after punching the literal future king? Dude, you’re just playing hard to get,” you tease the demon, not worrying about his mood swings too much. Being the Avatar of Wrath, he controls his anger impressively well. His only weakness is Lucifer: Satan can start raging just from Lucifer’s presence in the room. Which is an interesting fact by itself; you wonder why there is so much hatred between those two. Not that you care much, but at this point, every bit of information can help you.

You’re still pissed off at Diavolo for dragging you into this mess. Who are you, a psychologist? You need one yourself, to be honest. The prince chose literally the worst candidate for the job, but it’s not like you have a choice. Discovering the root of the tension between Lucifer and Satan can give you a new perspective. Though, in your opinion, there is no real secret behind it, Lucifer is just a dick. Satan is not a saint either, so constant fights are inevitable.

“Hard to get? Did you expect me to jump at the chance to make a pact with you, like my gullible brothers?” Satan frowns. “I’m nothing like them, so if you expect it to be easy, you’re in for a disappointment.”

“Don’t worry, you’re a tough guy, I recognize and respect it. I just got my hopes up after you told Lucifer that you want to make a pact, since it bothers him so much,” you shrug. Satan is not the demon you can tease too carelessly. Well, you shouldn’t tease demons at all, but Satan is especially dangerous. Lucifer is arguably worse, but he is responsible enough to resist the urge to kill you, and he has more self-control. At least, most of the time.

“Don’t believe anything the demon says, I thought it was an obvious rule,” Satan smirks at your words. “No matter how much I hate Lucifer, entering a pact just to annoy him would be childish and stupid. In other circumstances, I would never consider making a pact with a human. I’m not interested in souls, and I can get whatever I want from anyone without using pacts to lure in stupid idiots. Your species is surprisingly easy to manipulate. A pact gives at least some kind of guarantees, but people are willing to strike a deal based only on words. This never ceases to amaze me.”

“Spoken like a true top student of the Seduction class,” you smile, feeling relief for some reason. It would be most beneficial for your mission if Satan was just a petty child who would do anything to piss off his older brother. You would reach your goal in record time, but damn, that would be so unsatisfying. Ever since you’ve met Satan, you've felt some great potential in him. You even almost called him your soulmate. All that barely controlled rage and the constant acting to fit in and make people do what you want. It’s all too familiar to you, too relatable. You had high hopes for Satan, and you’d hate to casually make a pact with him. It should be difficult, it’s supposed to be a challenge. A challenge that you won’t fail. “So, why does such a mastermind like you even consider to 'deem me worthy'?”

“We’re quite similar, you and I. I never thought that I’d ever say something like that to a human, but here we are.” Satan’s face twists, like it pains him to admit your likeness. But it lasts only a second; the demon quickly puts his friendly smile on. “As the Avatar of Wrath, I feel like I’m obligated to help you out. After all, who will support all your worst traits if not the Avatar of your main sin?”

“You’re such a gracious patron, mister Avatar of Wrath,” you smile and jest, but your eyes remain serious. “And how can I possibly receive your full support?”

“By being useful, of course. So far, you’ve proven to be quite capable. Very few creatures have the guts to confront Lucifer, and especially Lord Diavolo. You went through a lot and remained victorious. That’s something I sincerely respect,” Satan gives you a warm smile. What a charmer. “I think we could achieve a lot by working together. But, of course, I’m not ready to commit enough to make a pact with you. Yet. I’m sure you understand, I have quite reasonable concerns. The pact will put me in a vulnerable position. So, at this stage, it’s only a matter of trust. If you make me trust you more, I don’t mind helping you.”

Yeah, the demon has no intention of handing over his freedom to you. He’s good though: hit you with the classical "everyone is so stupid and gullible, but you, babe, you’re special". Followed with: "we’re so alike, we’re perfect for each other" and "I just need a little favor, that’s all, be patient, and I’ll do the same for you". Add a charming smile and mesmerizing green eyes, a little good deed right before the conversation, and voila: the victim falls for his empty promises of making the pact. A little favor here and there, all for the sake of the pact that will never exist.

You can play these mind games with Satan all day long. Talking with fists is more your style, but you could try to beat the demon in his own game. It would be the safest option, a direct confrontation with the fourth-oldest would be potentially deadly. And counterproductive; you’re still saving the world, after all. A conflict can destroy your chances of ever getting this damn pact.

But… this jerk tried to trick you. To use you. That won’t do. Satan didn’t give you the courtesy of respect, he thinks that you’re dumb enough to fall for his lies. And you don’t want to indulge his illusions, even for the sake of smart and safe strategy. You won’t ignore your emotions, fuck that. If your selfish actions will result in the complete failure of your plans, well… Shit happens. You’ve never wanted to be a hero, after all.

You stop in the middle of the corridor, making the demon follow your lead. His captivating smile is gone, he sees something in your eyes. Something familiar.

“You know, Satan,” you say with a polite smile, “you disappoint me for the second time today. You really couldn’t use something less insulting than 'you’re not like the other girls' crap? Hell, even good old blackmail would be better than this.” You approach him closer, your eyes are not capable of glowing, unlike Satan’s, but only a blind person wouldn’t notice your anger.

The demon observes you mindfully, looking content. He enjoys your wrath, it’s always a sight to behold, no matter who your opponent is: other students, Lucifer, or Lord Diavolo himself. Your temperament may be a problem for others, but not for Satan.

“I take it, you don’t believe me,” he smiles genuinely. “Good. Let’s settle this another way. Come on, don’t hold back, make me taste my own blood,” the demon says, changing his posture and preparing for your attack.

Satan’s attitude confuses you. Was it all a trap with the purpose of enraging you in the first place? Or he really wanted to deceive you, and he just adapts really quickly? What’s up with him, seriously?

But before you can decide what to do next, an invisible force raises you in the air and turns upside down. You want to curse Satan for a dirty trick, but then you notice him hanging next to you. A cold, emotionless voice, whose owner is standing right behind you, addresses you both:

“Are you two aware that the breakfast started ten minutes ago? Do you think you’re in a position to afford being late? How dare you not show any respect toward the angels, who spent their morning cooking for you, ungrateful idiots?” Lucifer slowly walks into your line of sight.

“Oh, so we respect angels now? Good to know. Because last time you didn’t show much respect toward Luke, if I remember correctly,” you mock the demon, making Satan smirk next to you.

“Yes, indeed,” Satan nods in agreement. “I think the exchange program would be much more effective if we provided our guests with more consistent examples of healthy relationships between angels, demons, and humans. I imagine it can get really confusing when one day a certain demon tries to annihilate our respectable guest, and the other, he demands that we show more consideration, while not reflecting on his own actions.”

“Yeah, Lucifer tends to send really mixed signals,” you smirk. “I find it very confusing.”

“Shut up, both of you,” Lucifer sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He turns around and starts marching toward the dining room. You and Satan both slowly float behind him. You try to struggle and break free, but Lucifer’s magic holds you firmly.

Your grand arrival causes some laughs and a certain amount of friendly teasing, but nothing too brutal. You apologize to Simeon and Luke for being late. Luckily, they don’t hold any grudges. But Luke gets slightly upset when you tell him that Mammon is not coming:

“He ordered those spicy cookies, and now he decides to sleep instead of eating them?!”

“I can eat them instead of Mammon,” Beel offers gallantly.

“No! He demanded them, so he’ll eat them, even if I have to shove them into his unconscious body!” Luke, full of energy and fighting spirit, runs to the bedroom. But he leaves a couple of cookies on Beel’s plate, so the glutton could try them as well. Damn, this kid has a heart of gold.

“Luke enjoys cooking very much and takes it very passionately,” Simeon whispers to you. “He specializes mostly in pastries. Michael, his mentor, has quite a sweet tooth, so Luke decided to improve his skills in baking.”

“And he’s already a master chef! Did you taste this pie already? It’s phenomenal!” You praise the food with great enthusiasm. Celestial cooking is drastically different from local cuisine. You were worried that the food would turn out too sugary for your tastes. But the angels found the perfect balance of a huge variety of different flavors.

“Ah, it’s actually one of my dishes. I’m glad you like it,” Simeon smiles at you brightly.

“It’s yours?! Gods, you’re even more perfect than I thought,” you compliment the angel, hoping to make him blush. But Simeon takes your compliment well - not a single sign of embarrassment. A pity.

“Thank you for your kind words, Tiel,” he smiles even brighter, almost blinding you with his magnificence. “May I suggest trying this…”

“AAAAHHHH!” Luke rushes back at tremendous speed. He looks like he saw a monster.

“Luke?! What happened?” Simeon immediately appears near the little angel, trying to calm him down.

“M-Mammon…” Luke stutters, struggling to breathe normally.

You and Lucifer synchronously stand up on your feet, ready to rescue the greedy demon from whatever happened to him.

“He… He was naked!” Luke announces, looking absolutely horrified.

…

Lucifer sits back down with a very heavy sigh. As much as you pity Luke, you can’t hold back a hysteric laughter; you giggle so much that you almost fall under the table. Some demons join your fun, some prefer to hide their amusement, trying to be as tactful as possible. Solomon is somewhere in between, but he is more entertained by the fact that you almost fell than by Mammon’s exhibitionism. Levi cringes, clearly remembering that one time when he tried to take revenge for his precious figurine.

Simeon is not amused. His face stays calm, but his eyes shine with fury.

“I see. Luke, please stay here. I’ll go and have… a talk with Mammon. Again. I suppose I wasn’t convincing enough the first time. I’ll make sure to fix this mistake.” And the angel is gone in a blink of an eye.

“Oooh, I bet he will tear his balls off,” Asmo whispers to Satan, making sure that Luke doesn’t hear his commentary.

“What was that imbecile even thinking?...” Lucifer has never sounded so done.

“I’m happy that Mammon clearly feels himself at home,” Diavolo smiles widely, “but he should be mindful about people around him. Especially children.”

“I’m not a child!” Luke barks loudly. He slowly returns to his normal self.

“Damn, Simeon can be even scarier than Lucifer.” Levi looks at the spot where the angel was standing just seconds ago. “I bet all Lucifer’s punishments will seem like nothing compared to Simeon. Mammon screwed up big time.”

“Well, Mammon had the best morning in his life, now he’ll have the worst day. Balance,” Satan smirks, sneakily glancing in your direction.

“What, did he win the lottery or something?” Beel asks, munching on a giant cake.

“Something like that,” Satan nods with a smile.

“I wonder whether Simeon will mind me joining them. Demonic tears are a key ingredient in a lot of useful potions,” Solomon says thoughtfully.

“Luke, what happened to those cookies?” you ask, trying to distract the kid from traumatizing memories.

“I threw them at Mammon. Such a shame, they were really delicious…”

“Yes, they were,” Beel confirms. He’s the only lucky person who managed to taste them.

“Young Master, we don’t have much time left,” Barbatos addresses Diavolo while looking at the clock in his hands. “I suggest you make an announcement right now.”

“You’re right.” Diavolo nods and stands up. Everybody immediately stops talking. “As a part of our retreat, I prepared a little quest, to have fun before the official ball starts. I hope it’ll put you in a good mood so you can show yourself the best way possible during the party. I’ve prepared… The Treasure Hunt!”

“I’m not surprised in the slightest,” you smile.

“It’ll put your knowledge to the test! I hope everyone paid attention during yesterday’s tour, because it will be crucial for completing the Treasure Hunt,” Diavolo continues his speech. Well, you won’t even have to make any effort, you’re in one team with Lucifer and Diavolo, so it will be a piece of cake. “Unfortunately, me, Lucifer, and Barbatos have to miss the Hunt, as there is an urgent business we have to attend to.” Fuck. “For the time being, Castiel joins Asmo’s and Solomon’s team. But don’t worry, there will be someone who will assist you during your quest. Once Mammon and Simeon join you, please tell them all the details and go to the main hall. The Treasure Hunt will start there. I wish you all good luck!” Diavolo finishes with a grin.

Three demons leave you immediately, so now you’re alone. Without supervision.

“Do we really need to participate in this Hunt? How about we just do whatever we want?” you suggest.

“I agree, I need to make a ton of preparations for the ball,” Asmo nods, supporting your idea.

“I don’t know, guys. I feel like it’s not that easy,” Levi says nervously. “They know that we are not interested in this quest, so they definitely prepared something that will make us participate. I bet we will be cursed or something, if we ignore the Hunt.”

“I don’t want to anger Lucifer and Lord Diavolo,” Beel agrees.

“Besides, it’s Lord Diavolo we are talking about,” Satan adds to the discussion. “Treasure hunt means that there will be some kind of prize. Maybe it will be worth it.”

“You just want to brag about your knowledge of this castle,” you smirk. Satan’s team has the best chances of winning. Mammon’s team, which consists of him, Beel, and Luke… Well, they can certainly try.

“Don’t worry,” Solomon says. “I know a thing or two about the castle as well. It could be fun, so I support the idea.”

“What idea?” The door of the dining room opens and Simeon walks in. He effortlessly drags unconscious Mammon behind him. The demon is dressed, thank God. He doesn’t have any wounds, but you’re pretty sure that Simeon beat him up. The damage is already healed, either thanks to natural regeneration or Simeon’s powers.

“Diavolo organized the Treasure Hunt, we need to go to the main hall to start the quest,” you report. Simeon looks calm, but you prefer to be extra polite, just in case.

“Treasure?” Mammon instantly wakes up after hearing the magical word. Simeon lets him go and returns to Luke to make sure that the little angel is okay.

“Mammon, why were you naked?” you ask out of curiosity.

“Because he is a pervert,” Levi hisses.

“I thought y’all were here! I didn’t expect Chihuahua to come in! I forgot fresh clothes in the bag, so I had to leave the bathroom… fully exposed!”

“Towels exist, dumbass,” Asmo smirks.

“Shut up!”

The banter continued for the rest of the breakfast. Demons were too energetic due to Lucifer’s absence, so it was a whole mess. The breakfast took twice as long, but after everyone finished eating, all of you headed to the main hall.

“There must be someone who is supposed to assist us with the Hunt, right?” Luke asks, turning around and looking for the mysterious helper.

“Hm, did we take too long? I don’t see anybody,” Solomon attentively examines the surroundings.

Suddenly, an unknown, squeaky voice responds:

“Ya sure did take too long, pal! For a bunch of super strong creatures, y’all surprisingly unprofessional!”

A little black ball appears in the center of the room. It has horns, a tail, limbs, eyes, and a mouth. A very familiar-looking ball…

“Now when ya finally got your asses here, we can start! My name’s No. 2, I’m the Little D. and a humble servant of Lord Diavolo!” The little demon chirps. You don’t understand half of this gibberish. “And I… Wait. You! You there! Come closer!” The creature points his sharp finger in your direction.

Well, perhaps it’s all part of the quest. You obediently approach the demon.

“Hm, what a familiar face…” No. 2 squints his eyes, examining you closely. “I think I… Wait… Wait! It’s you! It’s definitely you! You’re supposed to be dea…”

BAM!

Your body reacts faster than you can think the whole situation through. You kick No. 2 so hard that he flies right into the wall on the other side of the room; this little creature is surprisingly light. The only thing you know is that you don’t want to let others learn what happened yesterday. You don’t feel bad for the creature: he and his… brothers tossed your body in the trash with zero care. They made you chase your own corpse across the whole castle, so it feels nice to get some kind of revenge.

“Castiel!” You hear Luke's terrified voice. “What are you doing?! He’s our helper!”

“Tiel, it was absolutely uncalled-for,” Simeon frowns and crosses his arms.

“Nice kick.” At least Satan sounds supportive.

Meanwhile, No. 2 gets up and starts yelling:

“ALERT! ALERT! One of the castle residents has been attacked! Activate the security system!!!”

“That… Doesn’t sound good…” Levi says, slowly retreating toward the exit.

“What the hell is a security system?!” Mammon shouts, not sure if he should transform or not.

“The system that activates once one of the inhabitants of the castle is attacked,” Satan casually explains. “The system doesn’t activate automatically; the attacked person needs to make an inquiry to the castle, as No. 2 just demonstrated. Nobody knows what the security system does, except for the staff of this place, because no one survived the encounter.”

“What?! I’m too young to die!” Asmo whines, nervously looking around for any kind of danger.

You rush to No. 2 and lift him by his horns. The little ball screeches and tries to scratch you with his claws.

“What does the security system do? Tell me, or I’ll smash you against the wall again.”

The little demon laughs: “I’m not telling ya anything, dead meat!”

“Maybe we should try to negotiate?” Luke offers, clearly feeling bad for the little creature. “Threats don’t seem to work.”

“Ugh, watch and learn, numbskulls” Asmo approaches No. 2 who is still hanging in your arms. The demon activates his hypnotic gaze, and it’s all over within seconds.

“What can I do for you, Master?” No. 2 is fully under Asmo’s control, it’s kind of terrifying how easy it was.

“Tell me everything about this damn security system!” Asmodeus orders.

“All the exists in the castle are blocked. Soon, the whole castle will be filled with a special substance that dissolves all organic organisms. All the staff is advised to evacuate to the underground Labyrinth and get to the Eye as soon as possible,” No. 2 responds monotonously.  

“What is the Eye?”

“The artifact that controls the security system. Lord Diavolo can turn off the alarm at will, but other inhabitants need to get to the center of the Labyrinth and do it manually. It is advised to not turn it off too early, before all the disturbances are eliminated,” No. 2 announces.

“So we need to get to this Eye…” Solomon sighs, “I admit, I have no idea how to reach the underground Labyrinth. I heard a lot of rumors about it, but I wasn’t sure that it actually existed.”

“Asmo!” Mammon yells. “Come on, ask this pipsqueak how to get there!”

But as Asmo opens his mouth, the ground starts shaking violently.

“AAAHHH! It’s an earthquake!” Levi screams, desperately trying to open the main doors. But a barrier doesn’t let him do that. “We’re gonna dieeeee!”

“Hold on! Where’s No. 2?” You notice that the little creature is gone. “Asmo, I thought you were controlling him!”

“I was!... Gh-!” Asmo is interrupted once again by a violent shake of the ground.

Something sticky starts leaking down the walls. It looks like some kind of slime, there is toxic smoke coming from this substance.

“I-is that the thing that will melt us?!” Luke shakes in his boots, starting to panic.

Solomon, Simeon, and Satan try to cast spells that would get rid of a threat, but so far, nothing is working. Beel joins Levi in his attempts to break down the door. The rest are just running around, trying to come up with something.

You try to focus in the midst of this chaos. You need to get to the Labyrinth. According to Belphie, you were there earlier. The room with a pile of corpses was the only place underground you saw, but it’s your best lead. The only downside is that the corpses may still be there. It’s hard to predict the reaction of angels to such a sight. They may even leave the exchange program. But that’s the only option available right now. Still, before announcing your plan, you decide to ask Satan whether he read something about the Labyrinth.

“Only myths and legends. For example, it’s rumored to be guarded by some terrifying abomination. It was so horrifying that heroes were constantly attacking it, trying to erase it from existence. Despite its looks, the monster craved a simple and calm life. It made a deal with a demon, and the monster got its boring life full of casual routine, instead of constant fighting and killing. In return, it had to guard the entrance to the Labyrinth forever.” Satan sighs: “But I have no idea whether it’s true. Even if it is, it’s unknown what this story is referring to.”

“Yeah, didn’t see any monsters around here. Well, other than demons, of course,” you smirk, trying to stay cool. The slimy thing is slow, but it already occupies all the surrounding walls. It seems you have to take the lead. You breathe in as much air as you can, and whistle with all your might. That attracts the attention of all the guys. “Okay, listen up! I think I know how to get underground. Strangely enough, the way down is in the kitchen, but I don’t remember how to get there.”

“I can show you!” Luke raises his hand. Your whole group follows the little angel, trying to stay as far away from the walls as possible.

“Did you hear that?” Simeon looks around, trying to determine the source of the sound.

“Maybe it’s Beel’s stomach,” Mammon assumes.

“It wasn’t me,” Beel shakes his head.

“No, it was like…” Simeon tries to choose the right words. “Like a big amount of water that moves toward us from behind. But it’s not exactly it…”

Splosh!

Now you all hear it. Everybody turns around synchronously and stares at the part of the corridor you just passed. A mountain of a slimy substance vigorously moves toward you.

“Run!” you shout, and everybody starts dashing forward. The mountain seems to get faster as well.

“We’re almost there!” Luke screams, he has tears in his eyes, but he doesn’t let them slow him down.

You remember your race against the mirror, you can only hope that the slime cannot teleport. At least, you’re not alone this time.

Everyone reaches the doors of the kitchen and gets in. Solomon and Satan do their best to block the door with spells, but the liquid slowly soaks through the entrance. You run toward the storage and open a giant, metal trash chute in the wall.

“Come on, hop in!”

“You’re joking, right?!” Asmo is obviously against the idea.

“Guys, it’s getting in!” Levi screams, observing the threat.

Beel picks up Asmo, Levi, and Mammon and throws them into the trash chute. You can hear their screams in the distance as they are sliding down the giant pipe. Beel is about to start throwing angels, but Simeon politely declines:

“Thank you, I’ll do it myself.” Simeon takes Luke’s hand, and they disappear in the dark like others.

Satan jumps in next. Beel doesn’t want to go before you, but you say: “I want you to catch me, the landing there is unpleasant.” Beelzebub nods and jumps without a second thought. You look down the pipe, into the darkness.

The sorcerer observes you closely. His spell still holds the door, but you don’t have much time left.

“Were you here yesterday?”

“Yes, don’t worry,” you force yourself to smile. “Just getting cold feet. I saw my corpse sliding down there, into the pile of trash. That is not easy to forget.”

Solomon hugs you from behind.

“You’re alive. And you’re not alone. I’m with you all the way, I promise.”

“Thank you,” you smile more genuinely. You gently get out of his embrace and jump into the pipe. The ride stirs up a lot of unpleasant memories, but it gets easier once you hear Solomon sliding behind you. Then suddenly, a small orb of light appears right in front of your nose. You recognize the feeling of Solomon’s magic. The orb shines brightly, getting rid of the thick darkness that surrounded you.

But the pipe suddenly disappears, and you find yourself falling into the void. You didn’t notice that fall when you were a ghost, but now you have flesh and bones. If you crush from this height, you won’t survive it.

Strong arms catch you in the air, not letting you fall to your death. Beel took your task seriously; he patrolled the end of the pipe in his demon form, ready to catch you any second.

“Thanks, buddy,” you smile with gratitude. You both take your time, enjoying the flight in each other's company.

And then Solomon falls right past you at tremendous speed, like a comet.

“Shit!”

“Don’t worry, I think he secured his landing with some spell.” Beel looks down, slowly descending to the ground.

“Fuckin’ finally!” Mammon runs toward you as soon as you step on the floor. “Ya took your sweet time! We are startin’ to explore this place. It’s a real maze!”

“As the name 'the Labyrinth' implies,” Satan sighs, inspecting the walls. “We can’t confirm that it’s the right place, but what else would be underground, beneath the castle?”

You don’t listen to them, looking around the room. All the trash and bodies are gone. It’s a good thing. Somebody took them. Or even ate them. That’s a bad thing. And this somebody was here very recently. This creature may still be nearby.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a slimy liquid that starts to appear on the walls.

“Damn, it’s already here,” you sigh.

“We need to move, now,” Simeon commands. Your group chooses a random direction and goes forward.

After several minutes of walking, all the walls are covered in slime. And after several more, you realize that you've reached a dead end.

“I told you that we should’ve turned left, not right!” Mammon shouts at Satan.

“Mammon, you know about this place even less than I do. So. Shut. Up.” Satan is already at the stage of glowing eyes. His brothers and the whole situation is really getting on his nerves.

“I think I hear something,” Simeon announces.

“Simeon, nooo, please, not again,” Luke whimpers.

“But I really hear it. Like something heavy is getting dragged across the floor.”

“Okay, how about we get out of here before this 'something' corners us?” you offer. But before you can start looking for another path, a huge shadow appears in front of you. It moves closer and closer…

“Run!” Mammon yelps.

“After you,” you point at the stone wall behind your back that is covered in the deadly liquid. “We’re trapped. The only thing we can do is fight.”

“Prepare yourselves, I’ll buy us some time.” Solomon creates a shiny barrier between your group and the mysterious creature. The monster crushes right into the obstacle at full speed. “Ugh, that was stronger than I anticipated.”

“Wait!” Levi yells all of a sudden. “Wait! Don’t you see? It’s Henry!”

“Levi, it’s a snake, not a fish,” you say, confused. And indeed, now you can clearly see the snake-like features of the monster. Other than being oversized, the snake looks rather common.

“I know! This snake is Henry 1.0! And my fish is Henry 2.0!” Levi declares and turns to the snake, which is still punching the barrier with its head, trying to kill you all. “Oh, Henry 1.0, I missed you so much! You grew up so big!”

Now you know what others think when you get friendly with Cerberus. But at least Cerbie doesn’t try to kill you, unlike this snake.

“I don’t think it recognizes you, Levi,” Simeon says.

“Yeah, we should kill it,” Mammon makes a reasonable suggestion.

“And eat it,” Beel fully supports Mammon’s idea.

“Kill?! Oh no, you won’t! Over my dead body!” Levi spreads his arms, as if trying to block all the possible attacks that may target Henry 1.0.

“Levi, do I need to remind you that there is a giant slime-thing that is out to kill us?” You say, not moving your attention from a snake. “I bet it already swallowed the entire castle, and we are next.”

“B-but!...”

“All right, babies, move out of my way.” Asmo elegantly pushes you aside, approaching the snake. “Your dear Asmo will save the day. Again.” The demon turns on his hypnotic eyes: “Come on, look at me. Good. Now, show us the center of the Labyrinth.”

“Wow!” You can’t hide your reaction to a giant snake that obediently follows Asmodeus’ commands. “Asmo, you’re incredible.”

“Thank you, darling, I know. Aren’t I just breathtaking?” The demon giggles happily as you traverse the maze with a snake.

“Henry 1.0, I’m so sorry for doing this to you…” Levi quietly whines, pitying his former pet.

“Castiel,” Satan whispers. “It’s clearly not a guardian from the legend. Do you think someone else can patrol this place?”

“For sure, look how massive this maze is. Stay vigilant.”

The snake leads you to a massive door that looks older than the world itself. Beel has to use all his strength to make the door open. In the middle of the room, there is a pedestal. Some round, golden object lies on top of it.

“Is this the Eye?” Luke asks, carefully looking around.

But as the last person enters the room, the doors close. You can feel a cold breeze on your skin, like someone’s ghostly presence. Someone very dangerous.

The walls, the ceiling, and the floor that were clean a second ago are now being assaulted by an incredible amount of toxic slime.

“Quick, use the Eye!” Solomon shouts, starting to cast spells once again. Others join him in attempts to hold back the deadly liquid.

You decide not to waste time and rush toward the pedestal. You pick up the round item, trying to figure out what to do with it. Shouts behind your back become more and more panicked. After pressing literally everything, you finally find the right spot. The Eye hisses, creating a fog that covers the whole room. Soon it disappears, just like the slime, revealing…

BOOM!

“Congratulations!” Diavolo appears from the fog, with Barbatos and extremely annoyed Lucifer by his side. Each of them holds a confetti popper and wears a vivid party hat. You’re now covered in sparkles and colorful pieces of paper. “You successfully completed the Treasure Hunt!”

…

…

…

You’re gonna kill him.  

Chapter Text

Don't think we fit in at this party
Everyone's got so much to say
When we walked in, I said I'm sorry
But now I think that we should stay

Ed Sheeran – I Don’t Care

“Ya know, guys,” No. 2 squeaks while munching on his piece of celebratory cake. “Ya have to admit, my actin’ was hella good. Like, my only real task was to piss someone off so badly so that this 'security system' activated. Damn, thank you for makin’ my job so easy! If ya weren’t so hot-headed, I would be in real trouble!” He giggles.

You have to squeeze a fork in your hand to stop yourself from saying something harsh. You already yelled so much today that your throat hurts.

Once your brain processed what actually happened, you blew up. You shouted and swore like there was no tomorrow. After you managed to grab Diavolo’s collar and bow him lower, it became easier to yell in his face and prove your point more easily.

Some guys also joined your rampage, but they weren’t half as active as you since they couldn’t really say anything too rude to their future king. Poor Levi and Luke preferred to stay aside, wiping their tears from relief that they were still alive.

Diavolo tried to counter your insults with a charming smile and excuses like "teamwork, working together, success of the retreat, fun little challenge to strengthen the bonds". But you weren’t convinced in the slightest.

“Yeah?! Then this brat,” you pointed at Lucifer, who already took off his party hat, “should’ve been with us as well! He’s the one who could use a bit of 'teamwork' and 'power of friendship', not us! We’re totally fine without all this shit! But you didn’t send him to fight the slime cause this jerk is too overpowered and he would ruin the challenge! So don’t feed me this 'strengthening the bonds' bullshit! You just wanted to have fun at our expense! Was that amusing enough to make us believe that we were two seconds from a horrifying death, you, son of a bitch!?”

You managed to calm down only after Diavolo promised you to never repeat this crap again. You hope that he understood how wrong he was, but you can never be sure. Damn rich, spoiled boy who is too comfortable playing with the lives of others. It could be a fun challenge if only you all didn’t truly believe that your lives were at stake. This was too much.

And now you’re sitting at the table, stuffing your face with the cake Barbatos prepared. Most of the cake was instantly consumed by Beel, of course, but others also managed to grab some of it.

“Despite such rough conditions,” Diavolo tries to speak as carefully as possible to avoid provoking you once again, “you did incredibly well! You made quite unique decisions here and there, but in the end, you won. I’ll make sure to come up with a proper prize – or should I say 'compensation' – to reward your efforts and apologize for all the difficulties you had to endure.”

“What do you mean by 'unique decisions'?” Simeon asks, calming his nerves with a special brew of Barbatos’ tea.

“Well, for example, I intended a whole other way for you to get into the Labyrinth. Remember how I told you that the information that you learned during the tour would help you in the challenge? I hoped that you would remember a statue of a monster I showed you at some point and combine my words with your knowledge of legends about the Labyrinth,” Diavolo explains, while you try to understand what he is talking about.

The statue… Wait, that horrific creature with a surprisingly boring background?! That was the guardian from the legend? That’s the real entrance to the maze?

“I can’t believe I didn’t get it…” Satan sighs heavily.

“But despite using unconventional methods, you prevailed! We were watching you the entire time, and let me tell you, that was an impressive showcase of your wits and strength!” Diavolo spills a ton of compliments on your heads. It may be one of his ways to apologize.

Hold on. They were watching you the entire time? Even while you were speaking with Solomon? You glance at Lucifer, who hasn’t moved his gaze from you this entire time. You thought that he was just angry at you for calling him a brat and a jerk, but now you’re not so sure.

Lucifer is not an idiot. If he heard your words about your corpse and combined them with every other bit of information he knew so far, he may have already figured out what happened. But should you really worry about this? You didn’t want others to know about your death, but Lucifer doesn’t care about you. As much as you dislike him, you have to admit that he isn’t the person who would expose your secret to his brothers just to create more problems for the sake of problems. You decide not to worry about it for now. Lucifer’s stares are slightly annoying, but you can easily ignore them.

Once the lunch is over, you’re free to do whatever you want until the party starts. Everybody rushes to their rooms to start preparing for the ball. Even Levi, who is notorious for not caring about such stuff. Since you didn’t bring any proper costume to the castle, you decide to relax and enjoy several hours of peace.

“Are you going to change your clothes?” But of course, ever-nosy Lucifer won’t let you take a break, even for a second. You definitely made a mistake by returning to your room, should’ve wandered around the castle instead.

“I don’t have anything suitable, it’s the best I can do,” you point at your shirt and jeans.

“I’m pretty sure Asmo helped you with your wardrobe earlier,” Lucifer frowns. “I don’t believe that he didn’t buy you at least three different costumes for formal occasions.”

“They wouldn’t fit in my backpack, and, unlike you, I can’t summon stuff from thin air. Relax, I don’t look too bad,” you reply lazily, settling on your bed.

“There are certain rules for such gatherings, and these clothes won’t do. Go find Barbatos, he will figure something out,” Lucifer insists, but you ignore him, preferring to check Devilgram on your phone instead. The demon sighs: “All my brothers are currently busy with preparations for the ball, which may be common for Asmo but very unusual for others. They’ll go above and beyond to look good tonight. And we both know that they do that not because of Lord Diavolo’s orders.”

This makes you immediately raise your head and stare at Lucifer.

“That was… a very strange guilt trip, coming from you. I thought you would ask me not to embarrass Diavolo or something.”

“You couldn’t care less about Lord Diavolo’s reputation, but I hope that you will care about not disappointing my brothers,” Lucifer says, looking at you expectantly. This conversation is very strange, you'd never expect to hear anything like this from Lucifer. His brothers’ attraction to you was always an elephant in the room, but he never addressed it so directly. It almost sounds like he is… accepting you? “So?”

“Well, fine, I guess…” you reply, still confused by Lucifer’s friendly attitude. You slowly get up on your feet and leave the room.

That was strange. Lucifer’s words reminded you of things that you didn’t have time to think through. You earlier decided to ignore your fucked-up romantic situation, as you do with half of your problems. It got especially strange ever since you almost had sex with Mammon. The one thing you promised yourself not to do in order to avoid unnecessary headache. So far, Mammon hasn’t had a chance to ambush you and ask very logical questions. But you won’t be able to avoid it forever.

Can you just say that it was just help from a friend? You didn’t even touch his skin, and it was not the first time you did it to him, even if Mammon doesn’t know about it… No, that’s just stupid. You can’t just say "no homo" and insist on keeping things as they were. The demon is into you, and it’s your responsibility to make things clear.

The Avatar of Greed… Yeah, no way he will be as chill as Solomon about your "lack of commitment". You like the guy, very much, actually. But you don’t see how your possible relationship can work. Not with all other demons and one human, who may or may not have their own plans for you. Not with all the constant danger; your confidence in your capabilities somehow combines with your assurance that you’ll die by the end of the year. And even if you survive, you’ll just go back home. Can demons freely travel between the worlds? You have no idea.

You’ll have to find a way to explain all this to Mammon, but you know beforehand that it will be a fiasco. You quietly curse all the hot guys that surround you, leaving you no chance to think straight. It’s technically your fault, and it’s childish to deny it. But you genuinely think that you’ve never had a chance to resist their demonic, angelic, and human charm.

…Yeah, those excuses are pure bullshit.

You sigh and knock on the door of Barbatos’, Asmo’s, and Solomon’s room. But the door doesn’t open. Instead, you hear a commotion, then Asmo’s voice:

“Who’s there?”

“Um, it’s me, Cas. Can I come in?”

“Absolutely not!” The demon immediately replies, confusing you even more.

“Why?”

“Don’t you know? It’s a bad omen to see the clothes of your lover before the party!” Asmo explains. Are you going crazy, or everybody else around you?

“I’m pretty sure that it applies to weddings only…”

“Oh, my! Already talking about the wedding, are we?” Asmo giggles. Okay, now you’re 100% sure that Barbatos added something to the tea.

“Look, I… I need to find Barbatos, do you know where he is?” You decide to change the subject.

“…Him? You can’t be serious.” Asmo’s voice becomes furious, the flirtatious tone is completely gone. “It’s the second time you’re knocking on this door, and the second time you’re looking for another man. Why are you never looking for me?!”

“It’s not…” Oh boy, okay, what are you supposed to say? “I didn’t take a costume with me, and Lucifer recommended finding Barbatos for…”

“You didn’t bring any of the totally perfect costumes I chose specifically for you?! Do you hate them that much?!”

“I love them! They just didn’t fit in my backpack…”

“…And instead of going to ME, the critically acclaimed designer, and the person who chose PERFECT clothes for you, you decide to seek Barbatos?! The butler?!” Asmo sounds like he’s on the verge of tears. Shit, what are you supposed to do?

“Asmo,” you say as softly as possible. It’s strange to talk with a person when you’re separated by the door, but you already had a similar experience with Levi. And you know that it’s better to talk without this barrier between you. “Can I come in? I promise to close my eyes.”

“…Fine.”

The door opens the second you close your eyes. You feel Asmo taking you by the hand and gently pulling you into the room. As soon as you get in, you feel a mix of different smells from different beauty products and perfumes.

“Sorry for the aroma. I’m used to it, but for others it can be a little too much. Solomon literally ran away, whining that it gave him a headache. I thought alchemists were supposed to be resistant to these kinds of things,” Asmo babbles, settling you on someone’s bed. “I’m just trying to find the perfect fragrance. Everything needs to be perfect today.”

“You repeat the word 'perfect' a lot. Are you that worried about the ball?” You try to guess the real reason behind his bad mood.

“Of course! It’s your first real party in the Devildom. And it’s the first time you’ll see me in something formal. I need to look absolutely amazing, otherwise… Never mind, forget what I said.”

“So… It’s all about me? I’m the reason you’re so worked up?” you ask. You wish you could see Asmo’s face.

“…Are you really that oblivious, or you’re just pretending to be?” Asmo asks with a sad smirk.

“I’m not oblivious or dumb. I’m just… confused. I’m not the person who deserves so much of your time and effort. It feels strange that the Avatar of Lust, the most popular celebrity and the most beautiful demon, is being bothered by what a guy like me would think about your clothes or fragrance.”

“You think I’m not confused? I am! I have no idea what to do to make you notice me! And it drives me crazy, because you’re the one who should worry about such things, not the other way around!” Asmo raises his voice in irritation. “I’ve never had to make any effort to make my fans love me. But now, I’m constantly thinking about you, what you would like, what kind of clothes I should wear. And you don’t even look at me! Never!”

“Asmo, I already told you, forget about this crap, just be yourself. I’m already looking at you, constantly,” you assure the demon.

“Yeah? All right, let’s see: you complemented my nails yesterday. What color were they?”

“Blue,” you reply immediately. “With a little bit of silver color at the bottom. They were beautiful, I didn’t lie.”

“…Maybe you do look at me,” Asmo sighs. You hear him coming closer. “I’m sorry I… I’m trying to find this balance, you know? Not to be too clingy, but also capture your attention. It’s hard. I’ve never had to – or wanted to – make an effort. A real one. And it’s just dragging me in two different directions, you know?”

“You feel conflicted because I don’t make enough effort myself,” you say with a sad smile. “You’re doing the double work here, and I’m just… Accepting it. And, truth be told… I don’t know if I can improve in this regard. Not now, for sure. I wish I could pay more attention to you. But I’m not used to it, and it’s not the time for me to learn. I’m stuck in a constant loop of shit and even more shit. And I don’t think that the situation will improve anytime soon,” you sigh, scratching your head. “I can try to give you as much attention as I can, but I don’t think that it will be enough. Maybe you need someone more… devoted, who can provide you everything you deserve.”

“I will decide who I need, Tiel. Not you,” Asmo says quietly. “I’m fully aware of all your pros and cons as a lover, don’t worry. I may be a little… disoriented, but that doesn’t make me blind or stupid. And I don’t really mind doing the double work, as long as you give me at least some kind of output, okay?” The demon chuckles. “Oh my, just listen to what I’m saying: agreeing to the bare minimum. And yet, I really mean it. How did I even get to this point?... You better not make me regret it, Tiel.”

“I’ll try my best,” you smile. You can feel the demon standing right in front of you. Your eyes were closed the entire time, and as much as you want to open them, you must keep your word. But you didn’t promise that you wouldn’t touch him. “Asmo, do you have any lipstick on your lips right now?”

“No, why?” Asmodeus asks, but you cannot tell whether he already knows what you intend to do.

A little jerk forward, and your hands find Asmo’s waist. You quickly pull him closer and settle him on your lap. The demon starts giggling:

“I bet you were waiting impatiently for this conversation to end so you could put your hands on me.”

“Damn, Asmo, I’m not that insensitive. I can talk about feelings and stuff. I’m just not very good at it,” you say, enjoying the feeling of the demonic butt on your legs. “Can I get a kiss now?”

“Sure, darling.” The demon smiles and gives you what you want.

Your first kiss with Asmo was a catastrophe. You almost killed each other right after. The second one is immensely better. It lasts and lasts, you’re lost in all the smells, the feeling of Asmo’s delicate lips, the warmth of his body next to yours. The demon plays with your hair, giving you a slight massage in the process. He intentionally doesn’t want to make the encounter too passionate. So when you try to move your hands from his waist a little lower, he stops you:

“Sorry, dear. But I want to focus on the preparations. You should go and find Barbatos. I believe he’s in the kitchen.”

“I thought you wanted to help me instead of him, as the 'critically acclaimed designer',” you smile, hiding your disappointment. First Solomon, then Mammon, and now Asmo – all three left you with blue balls for the last two days. Not to mention the prince with his stupidly sexy body. So many temptations around, but no luck in getting any real action.

“Now when I think about it, Barbatos will indeed be a better option. I don’t have a lot of variants that would complement you properly. I left all the good clothes for you at home. So, if anyone can get a solution out of thin air, it’s Barbatos.” Asmo says, leaving your lap and pulling you toward the door.

“You sure that you don’t mind?” You try to be cautious, just in case.

“Yes. After all, I’m seeing you wearing the stuff that I chose every day. I actually wonder what Barbatos will have in mind for you.”

After that, you’re being smooched one last time and gently kicked out. You can finally open your eyes, mentally celebrating your little victory. The conversation with Asmo went rather well. You can only hope that the talk with others will go just as good.

You scarcely remember the way to the kitchen; the castle looks completely different when the walls are not covered in slime. After a couple of wrong turns, you finally reach your destination. It’s a very spacious room, just like basically every room in the castle. You don’t know shit about cooking, but even you can understand that the kitchen is owned by a real professional.

Soon you spot the professional in question. Barbatos stands among hundreds of delicious-looking dishes that occupy the shiny surfaces of countertops. You’ve never seen so much food in one place. Now you wonder how many guests there will be. The demon notices your arrival and stops filling the bowl with some kind of cream.

“Castiel, what a pleasant surprise. How may I help you?” he asks, as neutral and polite as always.

“I’m just in need of a costume, and you were recommended to me as the person who might know what to do. But I see that you’re busy, so don’t worry about it,” you say, examining the dishes. Damn, that’s a lot, you still can’t get over it. Did Barbatos prepare it all by himself? Is there anything that this man can’t do? Well, other than checking whether deadly artifacts are safe for humans.

“I appreciate your concern, but do not worry. I have more than enough time to assist you,” he says confidently.

“Are you sure? Cause this,” you point at the food, “looks crazy. Do you need any help? I can’t do much, but I can cut stuff rather well.”

“Thank you, but I almost finished. I’m sure you’ll have a chance to showcase your cutting skills tomorrow, when it’s your turn to prepare breakfast,” Barbatos smiles. Wow, it isn’t his usual barely visible half-smile, but a very casual one. Almost like he is a normal person.

Barbatos snaps his fingers and a little black ball appears right in front of him.

“No. 4, I’m going to my chambers. Let Young Master know that I’ll be working on Castiel’s look for the ball. After that, return to the kitchen and guard all the dishes. If Beelzebub shows up, call for reinforcements.” His tone of voice changes when he addresses his subordinate. He still sounds calm, but only now do you understand that Barbatos actually speaks much softer when he addresses you.

No. 4 bows and disappears as quickly as he showed up.

“Who are these guys? I’ve never found any mentions of such demons,” you ask curiously.

“The Little D.’s, loyal servants of Young Master. Mysterious creatures indeed. But you shouldn’t concern yourself with them. They just help around the castle.”

“Yeah, for example, they help hide bodies in the dungeons.” You frown, looking at the spot where No. 4 was standing moments ago. You have your personal vendetta against these little shits. Suddenly, you feel Barbatos’ touch on your cheek. He touches you lightly, raising your head and making you look at him. The demon removes his hand when you meet his gaze.

“I know that you’re tired of my apologies, but I have to repeat how sorry I am. A lot of things went wrong that day. Little D.’s should’ve reported to me before relocating your body. But instead, they’ve let me know about you only after the fact. I can assure you, they were punished adequately,” Barbatos says, sounding sincere. “Now, let’s go to my room. Time to prepare you for the ball.”   

You follow the demon in awkward silence. You don’t know anything about this man to initiate small talk, but Barbatos seems content anyway. Sometimes, silence is better than any words, you decide. After a while, you manage to find comfort in the shared quietness, so you enjoy the rest of the way much more.

You go through the crazy room, Barbatos’ workplace, as he called it, and get to his bedroom. You didn’t have time to examine this place when you first woke up here, but nothing unusual actually stands out. A very normal, light room with solid, wooden furniture. The only uncommon thing is Barbatos’ bed, it has a round form instead of the usual rectangular one and a lot of different pillows. His bed almost looks similar to some kind of nest.

Barbatos approaches his wardrobe, opens it, and takes out an elegant-looking costume. Nothing too crazy, but stylish nonetheless. A reliable classic.

“I prepared it for you,” the demon says, carefully giving you the clothes.

“Wait, what do you mean by 'prepared'...?”

“I just prefer to be ready for everything. So, when I learned that there would be a ball and you would attend it, I decided to prepare in advance. In case something happens during the party, you will have spare clothes. By the way,” Barbatos opens his wardrobe once again, demonstrating what’s inside: “There are three more copies of the same costume, just in case. I hope it will be enough.”

“Wow… That’s… Thanks, Barbatos,” you chuckle, covering your eyes with a hand. “Am I really that hopeless, or you’re just making fun of me?”

“I’ll leave it to you to decide.” Barbatos smiles softly. “Please try it on. If it needs some adjustments, I’ll be able to do them. Should I leave the room and let you change?”

“Nah, it’s fine. I think you saw every inch of my body already while you were reviving me. So I don’t really care,” you sigh, starting to undress.

“Yes, I did.” Barbatos nods honestly. You would prefer if he didn’t confirm it, but what’s done is done. While you’re dressing up, the demon makes some comments: “I chose a very reliable material that is both durable and elastic. So if, at some point, you want to start dancing more actively, it won’t be a problem.”

“Damn, you really thought about everything, didn’t you?” You smirk, putting on the last piece of clothing. “And I think you even got my measurements perfectly.”

“I’m glad. I remembered them when I was cleaning the clothes, which were teleported to our castle several days ago.” You wince at this embarrassing memory. “Which reminds me… Here,” Barbatos hands over the shirt, which was covered in blood after yesterday’s fight with Diavolo.

“Thanks, but how did you get it? I thought Lucifer took it.”

“And I took it from Lucifer. We wouldn’t want him to have any evidence of your… temporary disagreements with Young Master.” Barbatos looks at you attentively, but he doesn’t seem angry.

“Oh, so you heard about it,” you sigh. “Are you mad? I disrespected your boss, after all.”

“I am not. When it comes to respect…” Barbatos slowly walks around you, making sure that the costume fits you ideally. “…I believe that it should be earned. Young Master certainly earned the respect of all the inhabitants of the Devildom, after everything he has done for them. But he has yet to deserve yours. Everybody in the Devildom must show their respect for their future king. But Young Master is not your prince, so technically, you don’t own him anything.” The demon smirks: “Besides, I believe that the fight was quite refreshing, for both of you.” Barbatos snaps his fingers, and the shirt in your hands disappears. "I've sent it to your room. And now..."

A distant knock at the door of the workplace interrupts your conversation. Barbatos conjures a mirror, so you can check yourself out with its help, and goes to check on the visitor. The demon returns shortly after.

“It was No. 4. He brought a note from Young Master and reported about Beelzebub’s attack on the kitchen. So far, all the food is safe, but the Avatar of Gluttony will repeat his attempt soon, no doubt about it,” Barbatos sighs, making you chuckle. The butler smiles when he hears your laughter. “So, what do you think about the costume?”  

“Well, I think I look fantastic. I’ll do my best to return this costume intact,” you smile, looking in the mirror.

“Don’t worry about that. It’s a gift. Now, let’s continue…”

“Continue? What exactly? I’m ready already.”

“We’re only getting started,” Barbatos smiles politely. “We need to choose the right shoes, a tie, make your hair, apply some make-up to refresh your tired eyes, find a perfume that will suit you, a bit of jewelry won’t hurt, either.” The butler puts a hand on his chin, thinking about the next steps.

“Wait, jewelry? I think that’s too much…” You try to slowly retreat toward the exit, but the door closes right in front of you.

“Don’t worry, Young Master already gave permission to use the royal treasury for our needs. He insists that you can use any piece of jewelry you want.” Barbatos waves the note in his hand.

“You look… awfully enthusiastic about it, Barbatos,” you sigh. “I think even one day in Asmo’s company left its traces on you.”

“Asmodeus has a lot of interesting ideas, indeed. I would even go so far as to say: I’m feeling inspired to try out a few things, thanks to his influence. Now,” Barbatos slowly takes off his gloves, revealing his hands, “let’s get started, shall we?”

*Three hours later*

It was a very long makeover, yet strangely satisfying. Barbatos definitely knew what he was doing. His confident and quiet attitude made you relax rather quickly, so you just let the demon do his magic. Barbatos seemed to enjoy the process as well, a light smile danced on his lips the whole time.

After a while, the demon made some final adjustments and conjured the mirror once again. You helped him choose every bit of your look, but you didn’t see the whole thing yet.

When you finally get to see yourself, you can only breathe out a quiet “Wow”. The make-up is minimal, the demon put an accent only on your eyes, making them more emphasized and lively. The hair looks shinier and healthier than ever, you smell better than ever, and the damn jewelry suits you too well. You were against the tie at first, but you have to admit that it really pulls the look together. Besides, Barbatos helped you tie it, and you enjoyed watching his long fingers dance between the fabric. The demon prepared several pairs of shoes, so you managed to pick the most comfortable ones for you without any problems. Overall, a tremendous success.

“Thanks,” you smile gratefully. Barbatos slightly bows his head:

“The pleasure is mine. Remember, if anything happens to the costume, find me, and we’ll go to my room to get another one.” His tone is serious, but you can see the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. He’s just teasing you.

“Come on, if you want to steal me all for yourself, just say it. No need for these excuses,” you chuckle, but when you notice that Barbatos doesn’t react to your joke, you stop laughing. The demon looks deadly serious. Did he hate the joke that much? Now it’s just awkward. “Okay, I think we’re done here. Let’s go to the kitchen and check on the food. Maybe Beel didn’t eat it all.”

“I suggest you go to the ballroom, the party is starting soon. I need to make some preparations myself,” Barbatos replies politely, but you feel that he just wants to get rid of you. Oh, well.

“All right, thanks for your help. See you at the party!” You wave and leave his chambers.

Well, awkwardness aside, you feel content. You look absolutely smashing, so you already anticipate having a ton of fun.

It takes you a while to get to your destination, but you’re finally here. The ballroom is now much more festive than it was before. You see Little D.’s working here and there, but you decide to ignore them. Some of the food is already on the tables, as well as drinks. You notice a giant stereo system that is now playing some relaxing tunes. Next to it, a crowd of demons checks their musical instruments. Must be a local band, but you don’t know them. The number of musical instruments they have is simply astonishing. They can play basically any existing melody with this stuff. And there are only seven members in the band! Each of them must know how to play every single instrument. You understand that if you live for hundreds of years, you can learn a lot of stuff, but that’s still impressive.

“Cas…” You turn around and meet silver eyes. “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, 'wow' indeed, Solomon. You look incredible,” you smile, examining his suit. Dark-blue and light-blue colors, a yellow rose on a silver collar – the whole ensemble fits him well.

“You have no shame, telling me that I look incredible when you look like this,” he laughs sincerely. “You want to start a real war between brothers? Is that your goal for today?”

“No, I was but a canvas for the real master – Barbatos himself,” you reply. “So, if anything happens, it’s his fault, not mine.”

“I see,” Solomon nods. The sorcerer looks around, leans closer to you, and whispers: “I want to show you something. Follow me.” Such secrecy piques your interest, so you go with Solomon to the other side of the room. There, behind a statue of a monster with nine heads, Solomon demonstrates his stash. “Here, some Human-world champagne and wine. It wouldn’t be fair if demons and angels were the only ones having fun,” the sorcerer smirks.

“Damn, Sol, I love you,” you laugh, rummaging through the bottles. There is more than enough for you both. “How did you even get these?”

“Well, after that fiasco with my homemade beer, which almost knocked us unconscious from a single sip, I decided to experiment with a formula more before giving you another sample. A few deals here and there, and I managed to get some high-quality contraband for tonight. Try to be sneaky with this stuff, I have a suspicion that Barbatos and Diavolo didn’t prepare any Human-world alcohol on purpose.”

“What, you think they want us to be sober? Well, it makes sense in my case: I’m a wild card even when I’m not drunk. What about you? Do you start throwing spells around? Undressing in public?”

“Well, my magic can indeed malfunction and sometimes act on its own. But it’s not like I’m doing anything on purpose,” Solomon smirks, filling two wineglasses with champagne. He gives you one, and you both share a drink. Now that’s a real party right here. “Oh, guests start to arrive. I’ll leave you for a bit, need to greet some acquaintances. Try not to break too many hearts tonight.” Solomon smooches your cheek and disappears in the crowd that gets bigger by the second.

You continue hiding behind the statue, drinking another glass and scanning the guests. No familiar faces so far. Maybe you should just spend the whole evening here, destroying Solomon’s stash.

And then you see them. Six brothers, accompanied by Diavolo, Simeon, Luke, and Barbatos, enter the room. Luke looks cute in his little tuxedo, but you focus your attention on others. Damn, it should be illegal to be that hot. You’re quite used to their sexiness in casual clothes and their demon forms, but official attire is a whole other level.

Everybody wears their colors and has these little details in their looks that make you go absolutely feral. Asmo’s high heels and unique design of the whole outfit; Satan’s black gloves that combine ideally with his dark suit; Beel’s fucking open boobs and black suspenders on a red shirt; Levi’s modest outfit, he looks like a high schooler at prom, at it’s absolutely charming, you want to ruin him immediately; Mammon’s open chest and black-and-golden outfit; Lucifer’s blue coat and black costume, this fucker has no right to look this good…

Not to mention Barbatos, in his elegant green-and-gray suit, showing off his bare hands; Simeon, in his absolutely divine white outfit that almost makes you cry from its magnificence; Diavolo, in his mafia-style costume, with a damn hat and dark gloves, makes you want to…

Whore.

You almost drop the glass of champagne on the floor when you hear a sudden voice in your head. The mark on your ass starts warming up, and that’s how you know that you are visited by an asshole.

Fuck you. I’m not "visiting" you. I was having such a wonderful dream where I was tearing your useless head off, over and over. And then this damn pact drags me right into your empty brain. So it was you who initiated this… connection.

You wish you could control these pact marks. If you master this skill one day, Belphie will never appear in your head again.

Oh, so you’re saying that you can’t even control this power? Absolutely amazing. I was bonded with the most useless creature in all three worlds.

Speaking of useless creatures, you remember Belphie’s promise to look after you while you were unconscious. But he wasn’t there.

Something pushed me out of your mind. Maybe, if you could control this power better, the connection would’ve stayed.

You wonder how this thing even works. Is Belphie capable of seeing through your eyes?

I wish, idiot. No, all I can hear are your damn thoughts. I guess I’m lucky that you don’t have a lot of action in your brain, or I would have a headache.

Meanwhile, Diavolo starts his greeting speech, the rest of the group stands next to him. Damn, even Solomon is there. Should you join them? Will they sense the magic from Belphie’s pact since he’s chilling in your head?

I knew that you were stupid, but not to this degree. Look at all these demons around you. Do you know how much magic they radiate? Scratch that, do you know how much magic radiates from the castle? Our House? This laughable parody on a real spell will go unnoticed, I guarantee you. It’s just like with your soul: if the demon doesn’t know specifically where and what to look for, they’ll never find it. Because it’s so insignificant and weak.

Belphie’s words are just a theory, since your case is quite unique. Your "superpowers" are something that was never mentioned in the books you’ve read on the topic. Still, you decide to risk it, you can’t hide behind this statue forever.

Finally, I was afraid that your brain capabilities wouldn’t be enough to accept that I’m absolutely right. Come on, move your ass!

If only you could shut up this demon for some time. Maybe if you bribe him with detailed descriptions of Beel’s actions for the duration of the whole party, he’ll agree to stop assaulting your mind with his annoying commentaries.

I don’t need any "descriptions". You already gave me excruciatingly detailed descriptions of my brothers.

…The alternative to your bribe will be the second part of non-stop porn starring Lucifer. You’ll even add Diavolo, for flavor.

Shit, fine, I won’t talk. Too much.

After finding the compromise with your personal mind-goblin…

Shithead.

…you march toward your guys. You wade through the crowd of wealthy-looking demons. If you get a chance to pickpocket at least some of them, you’ll be able to save up a good sum of money that will keep you afloat for the rest of the year. But this can wait.

You approach your gang right when Diavolo starts to introduce the exchange students to the guests.

“…Solomon, a brilliant sorcerer and alchemist, I’m sure that a lot of you heard about him. His fame exceeds the borders of the Human world, reaching the furthest corners of the Devildom. And this is…” Diavolo notices your arrival half-way through introductions, but when he turns to you fully and sees you properly, he stutters. Even slightly blushes. Damn, you need to shake Barbatos’ hand, his work is simply phenomenal. “This is… Khm, sorry, this is the star of our exchange program, Castiel. He didn’t spend much time in our realm yet, but he already managed to turn half of the Devildom upside down. And completely changed the way we view humans in the process. I couldn’t be prouder to have such a unique person among our exchange students.”

The speech lasts for quite some time before Diavolo finishes and gets roaring applause. You entertain yourself by examining angelic and demonic reactions to your stunning look. Burning eyes, blushes, open mouths - everything is how it should be. It’s really pleasant to stir such reactions, you may even become addicted.

After Diavolo finishes talking, your guys immediately surround you. You get a lot of clumsy, but absolutely adorable compliments from them. You’re not stingy on the praises yourself, so by the time you all finish exchanging pleasantries, other guests have already started dancing.

“Castiel,” Barbatos decides to change the subject, otherwise, you all could stick in the constant loop of the compliments forever. “Before your arrival, it was established that everybody wants to dance with you today. So we already came up with a queue, if it’s all right with you.” The demon gives you a little piece of paper full of names.

“Yeah, it was a whole mess,” Levi sighs. “I can’t believe that we actually came up with a proper list in the end.”

“Sounds good to me,” you smile, relieved that you don’t have to deal with this headache. “Who’s first?”

“Me!” Luke happily lifts his hand in the air.

AHAHAHAHA! Suits you well, jerk! Have fun dancing with an infant!

You ignore the loud cackling in your head, and bow to Luke politely.

“Very well, young man. Let’s show these demons how it’s done!”

“Yeah!” Luke slightly jumps, grabs your hand, and enthusiastically drags you to the center of the room. Just in time for a new melody to start. (Waltz of the Bone King - Peter Gundry)

Most of the music in the Devildom is a little bit… threatening. This one is no exception. It almost feels wrong to dance with the little angel to this tune, but he handles it rather well. Despite your huge difference in height, Luke dances much better than with Mammon. Maybe you’re just a better partner when it comes to such slow dances, but the angel manages to perform really well. When he realizes that you’re not going to step on his feet, unlike a certain demon, Luke relaxes and starts having fun. Your back hurts by the end of the tune, but Luke’s happy face is worth it.

You return Luke to Simeon and go looking for your next partner. He is currently hiding behind a massive column, presumably from you.

“Levi!” You approach the demon from behind and grab his arm with a wide grin. He screeches from surprise and starts trembling.

“L-look, I d-don’t know if I can do this… There are too many people, I can’t…”

“Nobody cares, I guarantee you.” You try to sound supportive since you’re in such a good mood right now. “We were practicing so hard! Come on, I really wanna dance with you.”

“R-really?” Levi lifts his orange eyes on you. “You’re not saying this just to laugh at me? It’s not some cruel joke, or something?”

“No, this would be a violation of our alliance, remember?” You smile at him. “I promised not to hurt you. And despite some occasional teasing, I intend to keep my word. But, of course, if you really don’t want it, I can’t force you, I suppose…” You weaken your grip on his arm.

“No! I want it! Wait!” Levi grabs your hand before he can realize what he’s doing. He blushes with his whole body, but determinedly walks in the direction of the crowd. After making three steps, he stops and turns back to you. “Do you mind if we don’t go all the way… there? I would like to dance here, on the edge of all these… people…”

“Sure thing!” You grin and put his hand on your waist, just like you practiced. Levi almost passes out, but it seems your training wasn’t in vain: he manages to keep himself together. The music starts. (The Vampire Masquerade – Peter Gundry)

I can’t believe that Levi is seriously going to dance in public. What have you done to him?!

This melody is perfect for the waltz that you practiced, so you manage to find the right rhythm rather quickly. Levi is the lead in your pair, and, despite constant shivering, his footwork is not half-bad.

“Am I doing this right?” Levi doesn’t lift his eyes even for a second. He stares at his feet, scared to miss a step. But it’s also a good tactic to avoid looking at the crowd. And you. And this won’t do.

“You’re doing well, don’t worry. Ready to play in hard mode?” You move your hand to his chin and slightly raise his head. Levi almost falls from such abruptness, but you hold him firmly. “I want to see your face. You’re so handsome tonight, Levi.”

“I-I-I-I… Cas, I…” Levi tries to say something, but he’s too overwhelmed. He does his best to continue dancing, but his legs feel like rubber. Despite hand placement and footwork, it’s you who leads now. After several failed attempts to force something coherent from his mouth, Leviathan gives up and hides his face on your shoulder.

“Fine, you can hide from me, for now. You’re doing a great job anyway,” you smirk, waltzing around with his numb body. “But what a shame, I really wanted to kiss your cheek for all your hard work. Oh, well, guess it’s not happening.”

The demon freezes, you feel him grabbing your waist with a new force. It takes him some time to gather all his strength and lift his head. His eyes are closed, though.

“Does this mean that I can kiss you?” You grin, watching him nod enthusiastically. You lean closer and smooch his cheek. Well, maybe you’ll kiss him one more time. Maybe a couple more. Your lips move along his face, lower and lower, toward his chin. You’re ready to conquer new horizons by giving your attention to his delicious-looking neck, when Levi loses consciousness. Oops.

You have to grab his body to prevent him from falling and drag him back to his dear column. Levi is surprisingly heavy, given that he has a rather slim body.

You overdid it, idiot.

Oh yeah, you totally forgot about Peeping Tom in your head.

Don’t you dare call me that! I’m not a willing participant. I’m more like a hostage of your useless brain. Find Beel, he’ll carry him to his room.

You look around, scanning the place in search of Beelzebub. Thanks to his height, you manage to spot him quickly. Him, and a ton of starry-eyed demons that surround him. Beel gazes at the table full of food with his sad eyes, but his fans don’t let him go.

What?! They are not letting him eat?! Throw a curse on them or something! Whatever you can do!

You get to Beel in record time, snatching his arm in a protective gesture. The demon looks surprised but content.

“Beel, sorry, but I need to steal you from your… friends. We have an emergency.”

“Oh, look, it’s that crazy human that injured four students and destroyed half of the city!” One of the fans twists their face in disgust. “You think you have any right to treat one of the Seven Rulers like that? The audacity!”

“Listen here, bootlicker,” you frown, “if you don’t shut your mouth, I’ll add a few more names to my list of 'injured' demons.”

“And I’ll eat what’s left of you,” Beel suddenly joins. His roaring stomach adds weight to his threats.

“Oh, um…” The fan loses all their fighting spirit the second Beel starts growling at them. “I’m sorry, I… I gotta go!” The whole swarm of fans disappears in an instant.

“Wow, Beel, well done!” You friendly push his shoulder, making the demon smile. “Let’s go, before someone steals Levi.”

“Steals?” Beel tilts his head in confusion, letting you grab his hand and lead him across the whole room.

“Yeah, he fell unconscious.”

“I knew it would end like that,” the demon sighs.

“It’s my fault, really. Levi actually danced amazingly, despite everything. By the way, when is your turn to dance?”

“Not soon,” Beel replies, he actually sounds sad. Shit, why does your heart hurt all of a sudden? Beel gently picks up Levi, and before evacuating him, the glutton looks at you and says: “But I’m looking forward to it. I’ll make sure to eat plenty so that my stomach doesn’t get in the way of the music.” This on-brand wholesomeness makes you laugh heartily.

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it too. Very much. See you soon, Beel,” you smile. The demon nods and leaves the room.

So what, you really like him, huh?

This question makes you roll your eyes. It’s not Belphie’s business anyway.

Everything that concerns Beel is my business. And don’t think that I’ll let him fall in love with such a slut like you, Cas. You don’t deserve him.

Well, that’s a good thing that it’s Beel’s choice, not his brother’s. If Belphie cares about him so much, he could put more faith in Beel’s decisions.

Beel is too kind for his own good. I won’t just let you take advantage of him.

What a waste of time. Instead of working together on making Beel’s happy, Belphie wants to be enemies. So counterproductive.

Don’t think that you can fool me. You don’t care about him, at all.

Yet you’re still working on getting his shitty brother out of the attic. You could easily leave him there, but Beel’s sad eyes don’t let you do that. You don’t need to be friends with Belphie, you just need to get him out. So that Beel could be happy again.

Belphegor stays silent, letting you focus on your next objective. Who was next on that damn list?

“Castiel,” your thoughts are interrupted by a calm voice. Barbatos approached you while you were arguing with Belphie, patiently waiting for you to notice him. “I believe it’s my turn to invite you for a dance. Would you accept my invitation?” He bows, offering his hand to you. You carefully place your hand in his.

“Sure thing,” you smile, letting Barbatos lead you to the dance floor. This time, one of the band members takes the microphone and starts singing a ballad. (Daughter of the Sea)

“I love this one,” Barbatos smiles, slowly circling with you around the room. Other couples that are spinning with you form an illusion of waves, very fitting for the song. You become one with other dancers, like a little droplet in the endless vastness of the sea. Despite the threatening nature of the song and a sad story about death and betrayal, you feel peace. Barbatos’ hands envelop you, making you feel secure. It’s almost like a trance, you allow yourself to close the eyes and fully relax. The waves carry you, they won’t let you drown.

You return to the real world only when the last chords fall silent. Barbatos still holds you, and you decide to bask in his warmth just a little bit more.

“Damn, I feel sleepy, you relaxed me a bit too much,” you smile lazily, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“I’m glad that you’re feeling that comfortable around me.” You hear his quiet voice right near your ear.

“Do you have a sea around here?”

“Yes. Do you want to see it?”

“What, decided to steal me after all?” You smile lightly. “Yes, I want. I’ve never seen a sea or an ocean. Didn’t have much time for it. Would be a pity to die before I see it.”

“…I won’t let you die.” The demon says it so quietly that you don’t understand what he said.

“Hm?”

“Sorry, I can’t take you to the sea right now.” Barbatos smiles politely, carefully moving away from you. “There are a lot of men who won’t let me do this. But I’ll show it to you. And many more places. We’ll have plenty of time for it, I promise.”

“Excuse me.” A cheerful, angelic voice interrupts this strange conversation. “Could I ask you for a dance?”

“Sure,” you nod, still a bit confused. You take Simeon’s hand, but when you turn around to Barbatos, he’s already gone.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” Simeon also looks puzzled by the quick departure of the demon. “I just heard that the next song will be quite beautiful and not as threatening as the rest of the local music.”

“Really? I won’t believe it until I hear it,” you grin, focusing your attention on the angel only. It would be stupid to think about other things while having this treasure in your arms. The song starts, sounding much gentler than all the melodies that you heard today. (Down by the River – Borislav Slavov)

“See? Told you,” Simeon smiles contently, letting you put your hands on his waist. A calming melody, the beautiful voice of a singer, and the angel in your embrace, what more do you need? It’s a strange feeling, you dance in the middle of Hell with the purest creature in all three worlds. Demons surround you, but Simeon’s calming light is like a candle in the darkness. You wish you could associate yourself with his light more, but, frankly speaking, you’re more darkness than light. It almost feels wrong to even touch Simeon, never mind thinking about something more than that. “Is something the matter?” Blue, wise eyes notice your dark thoughts, even though you tried to hide them.

“Nothing, it’s just this song… It’s much gentler, true, but still rather sad. A little melancholic.”

“Hm, I don’t think that it’s sad. On the contrary, it’s a song about love, a mutual one. I’d say it’s about happiness.”

“Yes, but the way she sings it… Like it’s a fleeting moment of happiness, you know? Like… they are not meant for each other and will soon have to go their own way,” you sigh, deep in thought.

“Interesting interpretation. In my opinion, it’s just a fragment of a much bigger story. Their story. I don’t understand why it should end tragically.” Simeon smiles, you feel his angelic energy filling your body and calming your soul.

“Well, there may be a lot of objective reasons,” you smirk, continuing your dance.

“Reasons… I’d say 'obstacles'. Everything that is worth something doesn’t find its way to us easily. Sometimes, you need to overcome a lot of obstacles on your path. If you really want it, that is,” Simeon smirks in response.

“…Yeah, I want it,” you nod, staring into the big, blue eyes. Damn, he’s too beautiful.

“Then take one step at a time. You have a lot on your plate right now. I’ll support you, as promised. But nobody can deal with all your obstacles other than you. Especially since you’re so adamant on keeping secrets and facing everything alone,” Simeon smiles teasingly. “If you let me give you an advice: you’ve spent so much time learning how to close yourself from the world, that you forgot how to open. So far, it’s your biggest obstacle. Once you overcome it… who knows, maybe you are actually much closer to your goal than you think.” Simeon lets you go and bows: “Thank you for your time. I hope we’ll be able to dance much more in the future.” And with these words, he leaves you alone.

…Okay, you need a drink. You hurry to the stash, noticing that a couple of bottles are already empty. Hell, if Solomon keeps this pace, this party may turn out disastrous very quickly. But it’s none of your concern. You pour yourself a drink, thinking about Belphie. He’s still silent, but you can feel the faint warmth on your butt. Well, works for you, you both need to take a break from each other.

You take the list of your partners and check who is next. Lucifer.

…Okay, you need another drink.

After filling yourself with alcohol, you head out to find your personal nightmare. You hope that if he breaks your arm once again, the intoxication will help you bear the pain. It takes you quite some time to find this fucker. He’s standing among other demons, but those are definitely not his fans. They look too high-ranked for blind worship. Their conversation looks professional. And impossibly boring.

You’ll do Lucifer a favor by intruding, that’s for sure.

“Time’s up, guys,” you announce, getting inside their circle and grabbing Lucifer’s arm. “He’s mine now. Go and bother someone else.” And with that, you pull your prey to the dance floor.

“Castiel,” Lucifer doesn’t sound pissed off, just tired. “Do you realize who that was?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. Let’s get on with it, I want to move on to other dancing partners as fast as possible.”

“Hm? So I’m just some kind of nuisance that distracts you from my brothers?” Lucifer crosses his arms over his chest.

“Yeah. And Solomon. And Barbatos. And Diavolo. And, possibly, Simeon,” you smirk. You lean closer to Lucifer, who frowns more with each name. “You know, I think Simeon kind of confirmed that I have a chance with him. Crazy, right?” You giggle, alcohol in your blood makes everything funnier than it really is. “So yeah, let’s just dance real quick, show everybody our strong friendship, and return to whatever each of us was doing. Cause, truth be told, you’re the shittiest dance partner in the world. No, in all three worlds!” You grin, enjoying Lucifer’s angry face. Maybe that second drink was too much.

“And you base your observation on what, exactly?”

“Dude, you broke my arm the last time we were dancing! I think I made a reasonable conclusion,” you smile, not noticing the dark energy that radiates from Lucifer’s body. Other guests notice, though, they back off as far from Lucifer as possible, leaving you alone with him in the center.  

“I see. I guess you’ll only shut up, if I show you how wrong your conclusions are.”

“Oooh, what’s that, Lucy? Have I awoken your pride?” You laugh, not sure what to prepare for: for a fight or a dance?

The demon approaches you and snatches in his arms, immediately taking the perfect posture. All right, show-off. A dance battle it is. You’re not sure how to battle a person who is literally your partner, but you’ll figure it out somehow.

Lucifer snaps his fingers, and the music band just magically knows what tune to play. Gods, this guy is unbearable, someone needs to show him his place. The music starts, and you prepare yourself for a fight. (Just Punishment – P.T. Adamczyk)

It’s an energetic and fast melody. Lucifer starts moving the second the music begins. He leads you in large circles; luckily, scared guests left a lot of free space for you both. The demon has an advantage because he is clearly familiar with this tune, but you won’t give up that easily. Lucifer lifts your right leg without any effort, gripping it under your knee and lifting it to his hip. He grabs your waist and lifts you above the ground like you weigh nothing. The demon spins around, holding you close. Your right leg is still on his hip, the left one is bent next to his thigh for more support. You clearly see his damn smirk, and you decide that you indulged him enough.

Once you land on your feet, you take the initiative in your hands. The melody gets even quicker, but so do you. Lucifer’s little trick allowed you to change the position of your hands, now it’s you who is in charge. Your left hand lets go of Lucifer’s body, the right one twirls the demon several times to make him slightly disoriented. You sharply pull him back to you, snatching his waist and making his hips touch yours. You continue circling around, getting faster or slower, depending on the part of the melody. The right hand goes right underneath his thigh to lift his leg in the same manner he did it to you. But you don’t touch his knee, putting your hand much higher instead. Not too high to be inappropriate, but dangerously close to his butt.

You have no plans to lift him above the ground, so you decide to dip him instead. By putting some pressure and slightly moving his supporting leg to the side with your foot, you gently make him lose balance. He falls back, right on your arm, which holds his back firmly and doesn’t let him fall. Now you’re the one who is smirking.

The music ends, and you lift your partner back up. Lucifer doesn’t look angry after being almost dropped on the ground. In fact, he’s still smirking, like he’s the one who won.

You hear a commotion from the part of the room where the music band is. Both you and Lucifer turn around, only to find Mammon arguing with a leading singer.

“What is this idiot up to?” Lucifer sighs and starts moving toward his brother.

After a little bit of struggle, Mammon tears the microphone from the singer’s hands and announces:

“Listen up! Ladies and gentlemen, this music sucks!” The demon jumps straight to the stereo system and puts a disc inside. “Aren’t ya tired of spinnin’ around the whole evening?! It’s time to lighten up! Let’s shake your old bones, like the grown-ups we are!”

He turns on the music that would be more suitable for the club than for a respectable gathering. You love it. (I Know You Want Me – Pitbull)

Mammon runs straight to you, avoiding Lucifer in the crowd.

“Hey, Cas! My turn! Ya wanted to see me dance? Here you have it!” He starts moving his arms, hips, and legs rhythmically, singing to the song. Your first reaction was laughter, but you have no other option than to support his idiocy.

Soon you both start showing off your hip-hop moves, mixing them with rumba and a regular club dance. Your intoxicated brain enjoys every second of it. The fun intensifies when others join you. Drunk Solomon, who barely stands from all the wine he drank; little Luke, who prefers to just jump to the music; Simeon, who has to try to close Luke’s ears every time dangerous words appear in the song; Asmo, Beel, and Satan, all three dance beside you, sharing the fun together. The bravest guests decide to dance as well, while others prefer to stay still, judging everybody who’s having fun. You notice Diavolo, who clearly wants to join as well, but he is stopped by Lucifer and Barbatos.

The more Mammon warms up, the closer he gets and the naughtier his moves become. All the occasional hip twisting and pushing can be hidden behind other dance moves. But his hands that slide lower and lower with each attempt are pretty self-explanatory. You have to catch them constantly and remove from dangerous zones.

“How about we ditch these losers and have more fun instead? Just the two of us,” Mammon purrs in your ear. His hands lie teasingly on your hips, slightly massaging them. You’re lucky that the crowd surrounds you so densely because Mammon’s skilled fingers have already gotten under your clothes. The demon smells like high-quality Demonus, which explains his courage and eagerness.

“Bad idea, you know that we won’t get a chance to be alone. Others will find us in an instant,” you sigh. Mammon’s offer sounds extremely appealing. “Maybe we’ll manage to sneak out when I finish this damn list.”

“Shit, so annoying,” Mammon frowns. “But fine, I’ll wait. Don’t keep me waiting for too long, tho’. I’ll go have some fresh air, you make my head literally spin.”

“I think the Demonus caused this, not me,” you smirk, patting his hair.

“Nah, it’s you. I know it,” Mammon mumbles and disappears in the crowd.

But you’re not alone for long.

“Tiel!” Asmo’s arms hug you from behind, pressing you to his body. Damn, this is simply impossible. You’re already half-hard just from some simple teasing. The sooner you blow off some steam, the better. “Oh, I see someone is excited to see me!” The demon giggles. The perfume that he had been choosing for so long is now mixed with a firm smell of alcohol. He still smells amazing, though. “How about a little dance? It may help you to relieve some tension.” The next song starts playing just as he says these words. (Olha A Explosao – MC Kevinho)

“Just don’t make me come right here, please,” you beg the demon, who has already tossed all his limbs around you.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t realize that you like walking around with a boner that much,” Asmo laughs, ignoring your pleads and pushing his hips right on you. He dances to the rhythm of the song, but each movement ends up teasing your already turned-on body. Asmo does it much more professionally than the greedy demon, who didn’t have the patience to keep his hands to himself in the right moments. “Poor thing,” Asmo smirks, watching you closely. “Mammon did this to you, didn’t he? He doesn’t know how to be sneaky. But I do.” His fingers slide along your body. “This idiot made you nice and hard for me. And now I’ll finish what he started.”

“As-… Fuck…” The demon turns around and starts grinding his butt on your dick. You can only squeeze his waist because your legs start feeling shaky. The craziest part is that nobody around you notices anything unusual. You’re surrounded by strangers, and nobody questions what Asmo is doing. He dances on you so convincingly that it looks like a slightly inappropriate dance of two drunk lovers. You also try to make an effort to support this illusion, but you’re already too close. “Asmo, I’m almost…”

The demon immediately turns around and slides his hand inside your underwear. It all takes mere moments: one second Asmo’s fingers squeeze your cock, and the next, he licks a white liquid from his fingers.

“See? A long-awaited release, clean underwear, and no evidence: that’s how it’s done.” Asmo grins, hugging you and letting you lean on him.

“Thanks, you’re the best,” you let out a shaky laughter.

“I know, honey. I hope you remembered all the steps, because next time we’re at the party, you’re gonna do this to me,” Asmodeus smirks.

“Deal,” you nod obediently.

After such an intense dancing session, you decide to get some fresh air. The door leads you to a park that adjoins the infamous lake. It is an absolutely stunning view. You don’t find Mammon, which is a real shame, but you don’t have the energy for him anyway. You decide to make a stroll in the direction of a curious-looking gazebo and enjoy some peace, for once.

But your plans are interrupted by some commotion behind high bushes that separate different sections of the park. You find Beel, all concentrated and collected, doing some ballet turns with headphones in his ears. That is not the kind of activity you expected to see. Beel quietly curses, mumbling something like “This doesn’t work,” and then tries out some hip-hop moves. Apparently, this doesn’t work either, so he switches to something that looks like a waltz.

It’s dangerous to scare a person that is so concentrated, especially someone as strong as Beel. So, instead of touching him, you pick up a stone from the ground and throw it into the line of the demon’s sight. Beel notices it and turns around to look where the stone came from. He finally sees you and takes off his headphones.

“Hi,” he smiles brightly.

“Hi there,” you smile in response. “What are you up to?”

“I… I chose a song, that… expresses my thoughts. It’s from the Human world, Levi helped me find it. And I wanted to dance with you to it, but I have no idea what choreography suits it.” Beel scratches the back of his head, clearly struggling.

“Oh, I know this pain,” you smirk, coming closer. “Mind if I join your brainstorm?”

“I don’t mind, just… I really wanted to prepare something for you. But I didn’t expect it to be that hard.”

“Hm… Then, how about we do something atrocious? Forget about the song, think only about the dance. Choose one dance that you want us to share. What’s your favorite one?”

“I think that waltz is good. It’s simple, and I not too energetic. And I’ll get to hug you,” Beel replies genuinely, striking you right into your heart.

“Okay, great, turn on the music and let’s do some good old waltz.”

“But the song won’t fit…”

“Doesn’t matter! We’ll be completely out of sync, yeah. But we’ll get to enjoy both, the song and the dance,” you say confidently. Beel shrugs, disconnecting his headphones and starting the music. (Symphony – Zara Larsson, Clean Bandit)

He comes closer and hugs you right away. You hug him back, and you both start slowly moving around. It doesn’t look like a waltz at all, and it would seem quite strange for anyone who would stumble upon you. Two guys, in each other’s embrace, barely moving, with a dance-pop song playing in the background.  

And now your song is on repeat
And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat
And when you're gone, I feel incomplete
So, if you want the truth…

It doesn’t matter how clumsy it looks, this moment is just for you two. You share each other’s warmth, circling around in your little, secluded area of the park.

I just wanna be part of your symphony
Will you hold me tight and not let go?
Symphony
Like a love song on the radio
Will you hold me tight and not let go?

You squeeze Beel tighter after you hear the words of the song. Shit, it’s too much. You can’t hold back anymore, fuck it.

You lift your head and immediately kiss Beel, making him shiver with his whole body. He doesn’t think much, though, immediately responding back. Damn, you should’ve done it on your first day, it’s too good to…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

A terrible scream pierces through your mind, making you twitch and leave Beel’s embrace. You grab your head in useless attempts to stop the horrible noise.

“Cas? Are you okay?” The demon’s worried voice is blocked by another audio attack from Belphie.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Your head rings, the brain burns, like it tries to escape your skull through your ears. You channel all your efforts on focusing on your pact mark, attempting to break the connection.

After a minute of torture, your mark finally stops working, shutting off Belphie. For now. You close your eyes, trying to catch your breath. Beel’s hand carefully lands on your shoulder. The demon silently looks you in the face, waiting for you to get yourself together.

“Sorry, Beel,” you try to smile, but it doesn’t work. “Just a very sudden headache. It’s a human thing.”

“Should I find Simeon? Or Lord Diavolo? They can heal you,” Beel suggests, gently caressing your back.

“No, it’s already gone, don’t worry,” you sigh. “I think I’ll go get a drink.”

“Oh, okay…” Beel nods, still confused.

But before you go, you put your hand on the back of his head, apply some pressure to make him lean closer, and kiss him one last time. It’s just a simple touch, you don’t even move your lips, but Beel likes it anyway.

“We’ll continue this later, okay?” You smile lightly, looking into hazy, violet eyes. The demon just nods, visibly forcing himself not to kiss you more. You ruffle his hair and return to the party.

The club music is still playing, more guests are dancing now. The Demonus is doing its job, guests are much more relaxed than they were before. You head to the statue with nine heads, hoping to find some wine. But you find drunk Solomon and Satan instead.

“Oh! Castiel!” Solomon waves at you his glass of wine. He and Satan are sitting on a couch next to the statue. “We were just talking about you!”

“Quiet, you idiot,” Satan hisses, but not as furious as usual. His glass is filled with Demonus, his cheeks are a little flushed.

“Well, now I’m curious,” you smirk, settling on the couch between them. Solomon levitates you a whole wine bottle, so you don’t bother getting yourself a glass and drink right from the bottle.

“We were discussing,” Solomon leans closer, like he’s telling a big secret. “That you’re a cat.”

“A cat?”

“Yeah, a cat,” Satan nods, also leaning closer, he’s very determined to explain to you his vision. “You’re so… independent. Always disappear somewhere. Also…” Satan takes another sip. “…cats have a lot of secrets. Like you.”

“And it’s very hard to earn their trust. And love,” Solomon adds, also taking a sip, but a much bigger one.

“Okay…” You sigh, looking at these two messes. “How about you go get some fresh air, hm? I think you’ve had enough.”

“No, we can’t!” Solomon shakes his head.

“Correct, we can’t,” Satan agrees. “The second we go away, someone else will snatch you. We can’t leave you alone.”

“Yes, we still need to dance with you!” Solomon tries to jump on his feet, but his head starts spinning midway through, so he drops back on the couch.

“I think it’s not happening tonight,” you smirk.

“There you are!” Asmo appears from the crowd, quickly running to Satan. “Did you already forget everything I was telling you?!”

“What are you talking about?” Satan focuses his eyes on Asmo, who looks pissed off and… scared?

“Never. Drink. With. Solomon.” Asmo frowns, glazing at the sorcerer. Solomon continues drinking as if nothing is happening. “Or you want to wake up, bonded by a pact with him, just like it happened to me? Come on, we’re taking you to your room.” The demon takes the glass from Satan’s hand and puts it on the ground. Then Asmo tries to lift his brother, but Satan doesn’t let him:

“Okay, okay, I got it! But it’s my turn to dance with Castiel. After that, I’ll go to my room, I promise.”

“Fine,” Asmo sighs heavily. “Go have your fun. I’ll watch Solomon while you’re at it.”

“Oh, no need to be on such high alert,” Solomon charmingly smiles. “We were just talking about cats.”

“Yeah, and back then, we were just talking about my ex. Don’t try to repeat this ever again, or I’ll tell Lucifer all about it.” Asmo sounds cheerful, but his eyes are as cold as ice. He lands on the couch, pushing you to your feet. “Come on, go and have fun. No need to waste your time with this drunkard.”

Now it’s more clear what kind of story Solomon and Asmo share. That’s an interesting insight. And very timely. Solomon treats you so well that you almost forgot about his nature, which you sensed when you first met him. Manipulator, and a very clever one. The way he dragged Asmo into the pact is obviously awful. Just as awful as your pact with Mammon. So you don’t have any right to judge, really. But there’s one thing that differentiates you from the sorcerer: you regret the way you made that pact, Solomon doesn’t.

You place your wine bottle somewhere near the couch and follow Satan to the dance floor. He doesn’t stand confidently enough, but is still determined to dance with you. Luckily, the next song is not extremely dynamic, so Satan doesn’t have to make too much effort. (The Chain – Fleetwood Mac)

“Oh, a rock song. Not usually my cup of tea, but this one is good,” Satan smiles, taking your hands and placing them on his lower back. He hugs your shoulders, and you begin to move to the rhythm of the music. The demon clearly enjoys it, waving his head from side to side.

“Somebody’s in a good mood,” you smirk, enjoying seeing Satan so content.

“Don’t worry, it’s just Demonus. Tomorrow I’ll be my usual gloomy self,” he smiles.

“I wouldn’t call you gloomy. You’re just more serious than others. Though you’re acting just as goofy as your brothers when you’re having fun,” you tease Satan, but he doesn’t show any signs of anger.

“Goofy… Not the word I would ever expect to hear. Is that how you see me?” He tilts his head to the side.

“Yeah. But I also know that it’s a result of a lot of hard work. I think we’re really similar in this regard,” you smile, diving into your memories. “I had to learn how to laugh, it didn’t come to me naturally. It took me a lot of time, but I got it. Then… something happened, and I forgot how to do it, again. These were very long years, with no laughter or joy. Only anger. To this day, my greatest achievement is that I managed to remember how to be happy. Funny. Goofy. Was it the same with you?”

“Yes,” Satan nods, looking at you seriously. “Ever since I was… born, all I knew was wrath. My brothers tried to help, but let’s be honest, they can’t help themselves, never mind me. Still, after a very long time, I started to get it. Books helped, watching others helped as well. At first, I just copied whatever I saw or read. But at some point, I began to understand.”

“Shit, yeah, sounds very familiar,” you smirk. The music gets faster, so you let go of Satan and start moving your body to the music. Satan follows your example, so you both just enjoy the guitar solo.

You dance next to each other, having fun. There were times when you both couldn’t imagine feeling something like that. But at this point in time, you’re both happy. You learned how to live, and you’ll be living to the fullest, no matter what. Doesn’t matter if they call you crazy, selfish, unstable, or a slut. You went through a lot of shit to be able to understand how to feel happiness, and you have to fight for the right to breathe every day of your life. So fuck them, fuck them all, you deserve all the happiness this world has to offer.

The song ends, leaving you and Satan breathless but content. You smile at each other, feeling lucky to be able to share this feeling.

“It’s good to be alive, huh?” Satan smirks, still flushed from all the dancing and alcohol.

“Damn good,” you grin.

“Are you done with your list?” Satan asks suddenly.

“No, I have… two more to go. Maybe only one, since Solomon can barely stand.”

“Hm, well, if you feel like it, find me after you’re done. The night is young, and…” His green eyes pierce you. “There are a lot of different ways to feel alive, besides fights and dancing. So, consider my offer, I think we could learn a lot from each other,” Satan smirks, then turns around and disappears in the crowd.

Okay… Was he just teasing or?...

You decide not to think about it for now, focusing on your objective instead. Despite Diavolo’s height, it’s not easy to spot him. You circle around the ballroom, looking for the prince, but he’s nowhere to be found. As you’re about to give up, a heavy hand lands on your shoulder. Diavolo is standing right next to you, and you have no idea how you didn’t notice him.

“Sorry about that,” the demon says, giving you a wide smile. “I cast a spell on myself that lets me be unnoticed. But it seems it worked too well,” he chuckles, slowly moving his hand down, along your arm, and squeezing your fingers in his. “It would be best if we have some physical contact, otherwise, you’ll lose me again.”

“Okay, whatever you say, Majesty. But consider removing this spell. If your guests see their prince dancing with an exchange student, it can be good for your PR campaign,” you offer.

“Very pragmatic of you. But I don’t want to turn our time together into something so soulless. Come on, choose the music you want to use,” Diavolo says impatiently.

“You’ll allow me to pick? I’m warning you, I won’t go soft on you,” you smirk, thinking about all the possibilities.

“Don’t worry,” Diavolo laughs. “Nobody will notice their future king dancing to something inappropriate, so you can go all in.”

“See, now I’m sad that you have this spell on you,” you sigh, connecting your phone to the stereo system.

“Maybe when our image isn’t in shambles, we’ll repeat this feat without any spells,” the prince smiles widely. “But right now, we’ll have to be a little cautious.”

“Fine,” you nod and turn on the music. (Turn Me On – Kevin Lyttle)

Your right hand still holds Diavolo’s hand, the left one is settling on his waist. You move as close as possible to him, pressing his body against yours, and start dancing to the song.

For the longest while, we jamming in the party
And you're wining on me
Pushing everything
Right back on top of me

“I expected worse,” Diavolo grins, moving alongside you.

“I just genuinely like this song. Besides, I promised myself not to sabotage your retreat on purpose, so more extreme options can wait. For now.”

Let me hold you, girl, caress my body
You got me going crazy, you
Turn me on, turn me on
Let me jam you, girl whine all around me
You got me going crazy, you
Turn me on, turn me on

“I appreciate your sacrifice,” Diavolo laughs, getting used to the rhythm. He carefully steals the initiative, leading you in circles.

Once the music becomes faster, he suddenly lifts you in the air above his head. Your only support is his hands, but damn, it feels awesome. You’ve never been lifted like that before, and it’s kind of interesting to look at the world from this angle.

Then I whisper in her ear so whine harder
And then she said to me,
"Boy, just push that thing
Push it harder back on me."

Diavolo returns you back to his embrace, only to pick up your legs and hold you like a princess, continuing to spin to the music. You’ve never been manhandled so much in your life, but it’s strangely enjoyable. You wish you could carry Diavolo like this, but you’ll be simply crushed under his weight. So, instead of dreaming about the impossible, you concentrate on the achievable.

After your landing, you take the leading role back. You may not be able to lift his whole body, but you can definitely dip the demon. You managed to hold Lucifer with one hand only, but you’ll need both of your arms to deal with this mighty man.

Diavolo understands your intentions. He takes off his hat and puts it on your head in one swift motion. The demon obediently bends back, putting trust in the capabilities of your arms. Okay, maybe you need to start exercising with Beel. You successfully do the dip, but your arms are crying. Prince’s thick ass is still too much of a challenge for you, but you won’t give up.

You continue enjoying the music and Diavolo’s body, concentrating only on your movements and the demon’s hands. You don’t go overboard with teasing and seductive moves, but Diavolo doesn’t really need them to get excited. Apparently, your close proximity is more than enough to make the prince blush and not move his golden gaze away from you even for a second.

So when Barbatos suddenly appears, he gets spooked just as much as you.

“Excuse me for the interruption,” the butler bows politely. “There is a problem with Mammon and several other guests. Very respectable guests. I’m afraid your presence is required, Young Master.”

“Oh, well,” Diavolo sighs, turning back to you. “I guess I should consider myself lucky for stealing you all for myself for more than a couple of minutes.” The prince takes your hand and gently kisses it. “Thank you, I hope we’ll repeat this experience soon.” He carefully takes his hat back, puts it on, and goes away with Barbatos.

Well, only one person is left. You take your phone back and move in the direction of the nine-headed statue. As expected, Solomon is still sitting there, all alone this time.

“Hey, handsome,” you smirk, landing on the couch right next to the sorcerer. Your bottle of wine is still here, so you happily pick it up and take a couple of sips. Solomon lazily watches you, clearly on the verge of falling asleep.

“Hey,” he responds quietly. “Do I finally have you all to myself?”

“Yep, aren’t you a lucky one?” You smile, moving closer to him.

“It’s a shame that I have zero strength to even get up from this damn couch,” Solomon sighs. “I clearly had too much wine.”

“Clearly,” you nod, thinking about your options. “Tell me, do you have any energy left for one single spell?”

“Sure, what do you have in mind?” he asks, focusing his eyes on your face.

“Something like a barrier between us and the rest of the world. So that nobody could see what we’re up to,” you teasingly move your finger up and down his thigh.

“Oh… Oh! Yes, I can do that.” Solomon immediately straightens up and casts some kind of bubble around your couch. “There, should be good enough.”

“Perfect,” you smile and check the list of songs on your phone. Yeah, this one will do. (Cum Get It – Tink)

Solomon completely freezes once the song starts playing. You lazily place your leg on his lap, move your weight on it, and settle on his thighs. Your hips start slowly grinding to the rhythm of the song. Your fingers run through your tie, untangling it. You throw it somewhere on the floor.

You unbutton your shirt really slowly, noticing how Solomon’s gaze is glued to your chest. The shirt gets unbuttoned all the way down, opening your body.

“What, want to have a taste?” you ask with a smirk, continuing to move your hips to the music. In circles, up-and-down, left-and-right, but not close enough to Solomon’s cock. You can feel the man’s frustration, but he doesn’t touch you without your permission. Solomon can only nod to your question, hoping that you’ll do something more than this. “If I allow you, where will you put your lips first?”

Solomon’s gaze slowly moves along your torso, giving special attention to your chest, and stops on your dick, which is covered by too many layers for Solomon’s liking.

Your grin gets bigger as you rise on your knees, towering above Solomon’s face. Your hands move up along the sorcerer’s chest, neck, and ears, and stop on his face. Your left hand plays with his hair, while the thumb of your right hand caresses Solomon’s lips.

“Show me how you’ll do it,” you whisper. The man under you immediately acts, opening his mouth and sucking your finger right in. His soft tongue plays with its whole length. Solomon looks at you with his silver eyes, promising and begging for more. His hands teasingly scratch the belt on your hips, ready to tear it off the second you ask him to do it. Your left hand squeezes his hair, and Solomon closes his eyes from how good this feels.

BAM!

The bubble around you bursts. Surprised, Solomon bites your thumb so hard that you curse and drop from his thighs to the couch. But soon you learn that your injured hand is not the worst part. The worst part is that after a magical malfunction, and it was definitely it, the magic doesn’t disappear, it transforms.

You run away before a swarm of fireballs, bubbles, snakes, and doughnuts attacks you. You hear Solomon’s, Barbatos’, and Diavolo’s voices somewhere behind your back, so you decide to leave them to resolve this crisis. Guests shout all around you, but you ignore them. Finally, you manage to get to the door and escape to the garden you visited earlier. Screams, crying, and laughter are coming from the ballroom, so you decide to get away from there as far as possible.

After several steps, you look at your hands in confusion. One squeezes your phone, the other holds a bottle of wine. So even in a live-and-death situation, your first instinct was to grab the booze? Wonderful. You take one sip, laughing to yourself. Well, now that’s a proper party.

You notice the gazebo in the distance, the one you wanted to visit, but was distracted by Beelzebub. Looks like a perfect scenic place to finish this bottle and smoke a cigarette in peace.

But the closer you get, the more obvious it becomes: there is someone in there. You have to make several more steps to recognize Lucifer, who is hiding from all the chaos in the gazebo. It would be polite to just leave him alone, but curiosity wins, and you slowly approach the demon.

This gazebo is much more spacious than it looked from afar. There are lots of seats and a giant table in the center, which is now being used by Lucifer. Apparently, you’re not the only one with alcohol here: the demon brought his own bottle of Demonus and a glass. Well, isn’t that fantastic? You’ll fit in right away.

You get right into the gazebo and settle in front of Lucifer, loudly putting your booze on the table. Lucifer doesn’t acknowledge your presence, preferring to stare at the lake under the night sky.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” You try to be polite, but Lucifer ignores you for the second time. You shrug and get a cigarette out of the package. But the lighter is nowhere to be seen. “Oh, shit.” But just as you’re about to get upset, Lucifer snaps his fingers, and your cigarette lights up. “Damn, thanks!” You cheerfully express your gratitude and start smoking, staring at the lake alongside the demon.

When you’re that far away from the castle, you can’t hear any commotion in the ballroom. You wonder if Lucifer is even aware of Solomon’s magical malfunction, but you don’t want to break the silence between you. A chilly, humid wind blows from the direction of the lake. It’s so peaceful out here, but the one thing that bothers you is that you don’t hear any frogs, you’re not being bitten by mosquitoes, and the water is incredibly still, like it’s artificial. You don’t remember seeing any fish, either. It’s a strange place, nothing lives here. It would be a fitting place to die, but despite all odds, you’re still breathing. Once you finish your cigarette, you look around, looking for the place to toss it. Lucifer snaps his fingers once again, and the cigarette disappears. Hm, he would be a good butler or a maid. You stare at the lake in front of you, imagining the demon in a maid's dress. 

To your surprise, Lucifer breaks the silence, probably sensing your filthy thoughts about him:

“Did you have fun today?” He asks calmly, filling his glass with Demonus.

“Yeah, I did. Thank you for not injuring me today. It would be hard to have fun with a broken arm,” you reply just as calmly.

“You’re welcome,” Lucifer says and drinks more Demonus. You decide to take a sip of wine as well. “I hope you understand why I did this. I had to protect them.”

“From me? Wow, didn’t realize I’m so scary,” you lazily tease the demon without looking at him. The lake is much more interesting.

“Don’t jest,” Lucifer sighs. “You know well enough what a pact is and why I want to protect my family from wrong choices. It doesn’t matter that you don’t actually use them. You’re definitely collecting them, and that is enough to be suspicious of you.”

“Agreed. So, do you want to learn the reason, or do you prefer to fight me till the end of the year?” you offer, making another sip.

“…Tell me the reason, then.” You feel Lucifer’s stare on your face.

“Mammon’s pact activated when I was fighting those four demons, it made me faster, and I was able to dodge most of the attacks. It saved my life. Levi’s pact activated when Cerberus jumped in the lake, it allowed me to breathe underwater. It saved my life. Cerbie stopped your curse by making a new pact with me. It saved my life. Are you following?” You look Lucifer in the eyes. After drinking some more, you continue: “You dragged me into the Devildom, but didn’t really give me any means to protect myself. You offered protection of your family, sure. But if I relied on only this, I would be dead already.”

“But you died, didn’t you?” Lucifer looks at you seriously. “I heard you talking about your corpse. Something happened to you yesterday.”

“Yeah, I died. Barbatos saved me, pushed my soul right back into my rotting body,” you smirk. “I was lucky that he found me rather quickly. The castle almost demolished my soul. So, yeah, about your brothers and their pacts.” You drink some more. “I have no intention to use them to, I don’t know, conquer the world or some shit. I’m not that ambitious. My goal is much simpler: I want to survive. And, so far, these damn pacts have proved to be very helpful. And you know what?” You put your head on your arms, leaning on the table. “After I died, after I felt how exactly it is; what it’s like, to not have flesh… I want to survive even more. Did you ever feel so helpless, so fucking miserable, that you would do anything to avoid it happening ever again?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.” Lucifer drinks from his glass. “The death of my sister, I believe Beel told you about her. The day she died… That was the moment I promised to protect my family. I’ll do anything to avoid it happening ever again, to any of us.”

“Yes, your overprotection makes sense,” you nod, “and my will to survive makes sense. The question is: will you ever trust me enough to allow me to make pacts with Asmo and Satan?”

“The ones that you have are not enough?” Lucifer smirks. “Who’s next? Are you going to try to drag me into this as well?”

“I’ll certainly try, not gonna lie. I need all the chances I can get,” you shrug.

“And you were saying that you are not ambitious,” Lucifer chuckles, alcohol gets to him as well. “I’ll have fun watching you fail, over and over.”

“Well, I’m focusing my attention on Asmodeus and Satan right now, so you’ll have to wait for your turn,” you take the bottle and drink some more. Your eyes become hazy.

“So what, if you make pacts with my brothers, you’ll focus on me?”

“You almost sound eager, Lucifer,” you smirk. The demon doesn’t reply. You move your gaze to the lake, frowning. “I actually have one more topic to discuss. As an obvious expert on curses, can you tell: do you feel anything suspicious about me? A spell, a curse, an artifact, whatever.”

Lucifer becomes more serious. He closes his eyes and concentrates on you.

“No, I don’t feel anything. Why?”

“It's my version of everything that is happening with all of us – a love curse. Diavolo says that it’s destiny, but I think that his version is bullshit.”

“I have a third version,” Lucifer grins, suddenly becoming smug. “And I think it’s correct.”

“Oh yeah? Then tell me, if you’re so sure.”

“You’re a novelty,” Lucifer simply replies and drinks more Demonus.

“Hm, care to elaborate?”

“As a human, you probably don’t understand how hard it is to live for hundreds of years. To keep living, to be exact. Wake up every day, go to work, deal with never-ending problems. Our Academy can help keep the brain active, but usually it is not enough. Every demon needs a passion: a hobby, a person they love, a goal in life. That's one of the reasons why Lord Diavolo is so invested in planning so many events. All those quizzes, exhibitions, competitions - they help demons find their passion. All my brothers, including myself, have some kind of hobby. But this kind of passion can keep you going only for so long. Hobbies and family bonds help us exist and not go crazy. But to return this special spark, when you actually want to do something, when you can’t wait for the next day to start, you need something special.”

Lucifer looks at you, observing your reaction. He sighs and continues:  

“That’s where you come in. A human, species that is alien to us, just as we are to you. We only contact you briefly, and only sorcerers who already know about our existence. But you are drastically different, you have no magic, no power, and no knowledge. An interesting addition to our everyday lives, but nothing more than this. Then, the realization kicks in: you’re strange even by human standards. You’re unique. And, the most important thing for all demons: you’re actually powerful, just not in the way we all anticipated at first.”

Lucifer is incredibly talkative tonight. If you knew this quirk of his before, you would make him drunk right away. Meanwhile, the demon continues:

“Then happens the most horrible part: either intentionally or unintentionally, you manage to play up to the things we value most. Each of us has our own 'weak' sides. I assume that Levi started to like you once you helped him win that quiz, you made him feel appreciated. Satan must like you for your temper and your ability to confront me without any fear. You must’ve done something 'cool' by Mammon’s standards to impress him; and something special for Asmo, that made him believe that you see him as someone more than just a beautiful doll. And you made Beel feel heard. He always struggled to express his feelings and thoughts properly, so people usually see him as a glutton at worst, and a talented Fangol player at best. You changed that, for better or for worse.”

“An impressive way to rationalize everything that happened. So you’re implying that it’s possible to win over any demon, as long as you find this 'weak' spot?”

“No, luckily, it’s not that simple. Otherwise, someone like Solomon would already rule over all the demons. I won’t pretend that I understand how you’re doing this. Why have all my brothers simultaneously decided that you’re the one they all need? Your uniqueness and usage of 'weak' spots would’ve captured their attention, sure, but not to this degree. The only possible reason I can find: they feel that you’re genuine. When they are vulnerable, you manage to say the right thing and do it genuinely. They trust you. And they fall in love with you as a result.” Lucifer sighs heavily. “Pacts are not the only things that bother me. Your… relationships bother me as well, perhaps even more. I don’t know if you can be wise enough to handle all of them. If you can survive long enough to bring them good memories, or if you’ll bring them only pain from your loss. But it’s something they have to deal with on their own. I can’t protect them from their feelings.”

“You can definitely help me survive long enough…” You mumble, deep in thought.

“Perhaps. I watched you today, Castiel,” Lucifer says ominously. Wait, even when you were with Asmo? Creep. “You treat my brothers well. So I give you the benefit of the doubt. If Asmo and Satan agree to make a pact with you, I will be against it, but I won’t kill you. For now.”

“Wow, I didn’t expect to get your… blessing,” you smirk. This is a good time to finish this discussion, but your endless curiosity doesn’t let you: “I can’t help but wonder: you talked about your brothers, why not about yourself?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Lucifer frowns and moves his gaze to the lake.

“Come on, man. We’re talking like adults here, we are making progress. Just tell me why you kissed me that day, please. I don’t ask it to mock you, I’m just confused,” you sigh. “Your kiss is actually one of the reasons why I was so certain about the love curse. Because it doesn’t make sense! One second you threaten to snap my neck, and the other you assault my lips! This is wild, don’t you think?”

“Yes, it’s 'wild'. I agree. But it’s not something I’m going to discuss. I already told you plenty, if you care to make any conclusions about my feelings, you can do it on your own,” Lucifer growls.

“Yeah? Alright then, let me try,” you say with a smirk, noticing how pissed off the demon is. But he’s still here, he’s not leaving. He’s curious, just like you. “I assume your 'weak' spots are more or less the same as Satan’s: you respect my inner strength, my temper, the fact that I don’t bow… No, wait, you’re the Avatar of Pride, you should value submission, right?” You drink more wine, trying to make your brains work. Lucifer gives you a side-eye. “You’re supposed to like weakness… I think. But you also said that demons tend to like power… Wait, is that why you’re so confusing?!” You point your finger at him. “Your sin tells you that you hate me, but your nature, or whatever, makes you like me?! Is that it?”

“I didn’t say that I’d give you an answer,” Lucifer smirks.

“You, bastard! But it must be it, right? Right?”

“Who knows.”

“You’re impossible…” You sigh, trying to think. Is there something you missed? “Wait, what about Diavolo?”

“What about him?” Lucifer looks really confused.

“Well, he’s powerful. He’s supposed to… I don’t know, attract you in some way?”

“So, you criticize me for trying to rationalize everything, and then you do exactly the same,” Lucifer frowns. “Demons may be weak to temptations and respect power, but that doesn’t mean that I will be attracted to anyone who is stronger than me. I’m not an animal.”

“Come on, that’s not what I meant! Diavolo is not just powerful, he has a ton of pros, objectively. You’re not blind, I’m sure you noticed them. So what’s stopping you?”

“…Are you always that annoying when you’re drunk?” Lucifer twists his face in disgust.

“Yeah. Come on, don’t be shy, I won’t tell anybody, I swear!”

“Of course, because I will kill you otherwise.” Lucifer drinks all the Demonus that was left in one go and doesn't blink an eye. “Other than the fact that I am simply not attracted to him… Imagine that one person has complete power over you. Not just you, your family as well. And if something… difficult happens, his wrath will influence not only you but your loved ones? Would you risk building a relationship with them? And I’m not even talking about romantic ones. Friendship, would you want to be friends with such a person? Or you would keep everything purely professional to avoid as much potential drama as possible?”

“Well,” you finish your bottle as well. “I would risk it, but only because I don’t have anyone who depends on my decisions. At the end of the day, I will be the only one who will face their anger. But I don’t think that Diavolo…”

“We’re not talking about him,” Lucifer interrupts you. His voice sounds a little off.

“Yeah, sorry, that imaginary person… Where was I?... Right, I think this person wouldn’t hurt your family if you… I don’t know, cheated on him, for example. He doesn’t strike me like this kind of guy. You are the one who 'hypothetically' worked with this person for years: can he really be so… such… such a bitch?” You struggle to speak and keep your eyes open, but you want to hear an answer to your question.

“I don’t know. And I have no intention to figure this out. Because I don’t like him, at all. He’s annoying. Having him as my boss is already bad enough,” Lucifer mumbles.

“Don’t know, he’s kinda… You know, cute and hot. Like, the whole package,” you lazily smile.

“Cute? Him? Please. Cerberus is cute. You are cute when you don’t talk and, preferably, sleep. Not him,” Lucifer tries to frown, but he’s too relaxed to move his facial muscles.

“Oh, I’m cute? I knew it!” You giggle. For some reason, you feel happy. “What else do you think about me?”

“…annoying…”

“What else?”

“…”

“Lucifer?...”

“…out of…this…world…”

“yeah?... you too…”

“…”

“…”

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Every Sunday's gettin' more bleak
A fresh poison each week
We were born sick, you heard them say it
My church offers no absolutes
She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom"
The only heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you

Hozier – Take Me to Church

A chilly breeze plays with your hair, bringing the scent of flowers from the garden. Despite the wind, you feel comfortable, thanks to the heavy blanket someone covered you with. Your arms are lying on the table of the gazebo, serving your head as a pillow. Half of your mind is still tangled within the dream, but you are aware that Lucifer has already left. You rarely get a chance to sleep outside, so you decide to enjoy the feeling of peace and unity with nature a little longer.

“Good morning, Castiel,” Barbatos speaks calmly and quietly, but he still scares the shit out of you. Usually you can detect whether someone is nearby, even if you don’t see them, but this bastard walks, or teleports, almost soundlessly. Your body jerks up from a sudden sound, causing a severe headache. Yeah, you should’ve drunk more responsibly, but what’s done is done. Barbatos puts a cup of tea right in front of you. “It looks like you had quite a lot of fun yesterday. Drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”

You take the cup and gulp the whole tea in one go. Maybe you should be more cautious while accepting unknown drinks from this demon, he did drug you once. But you decide that your head causes you too much pain, and you have no desire to be careful around Barbatos right now.

“Thanks,” you say with a sleepy, low voice. You can already feel the brew doing its thing. “How did the party go? I left just as things were about to get interesting.”

“If by 'interesting' you mean total chaos caused by an irresponsible drunkard, then yes, you missed a lot,” Barbatos allows himself to frown while talking about Solomon. That’s a new emotion right here. Is the butler getting more expressive in your presence?

“Well, then I’m an irresponsible drunkard №2,” you smirk, straightening up and stretching your arms. Your bones crunch pleasantly. “Did someone get hurt from all those fireballs and snakes?”

“No, luckily me and Young Master were nearby to neutralize the damage rather fast. Solomon himself clearly wasn’t in the right state to handle the situation. Which reminds me,” Barbatos hands you your tie. “It was lying near the couch. It’s a relief that it was the only piece of clothing that you lost, and all the extra costumes didn’t come in handy.” Barbatos speaks seriously, but you can see that he enjoys your embarrassment. “I don’t mind looking after your clothes from time to time, but I would appreciate, if you made a little effort not to lose them that often.”

“Yes, okay, please, stop…” you sigh, covering your face with hands. “I’ll try to be more careful. Thanks, Barbatos.”

“Wonderful,” the demon smiles brightly; your humiliation definitely lifted his spirit. “I suggest you return to your room and freshen yourself up. I already delivered everything you might need to remove your makeup into the bathroom. After that, please join Solomon in the kitchen. I believe you remember that today is your turn to prepare breakfast?”

“Fuck, I totally forgot…” You sigh, standing on your feet. Suddenly, you notice that your shirt is wide open. You didn’t button it after escaping Solomon’s magic. So you had all this serious talk with Lucifer while showing him off your basically naked torso. Incredible. You sigh and start buttoning the shirt up, doing it much slower than you would like, your head is too sleepy for such high-level tasks.

“Allow me.” Barbatos is ready to help, as always, quickly stealing the initiative and finishing the job in record time.

“Thanks,” you sigh heavier, feeling like a little child. “Are you always so thoughtful, or it’s just a common thing that butlers do?”

“I just enjoy taking care of others. It’s not just my job, it’s a… lifestyle, I suppose,” Barbatos smiles politely. He takes his time fixing your shirt, making sure that it sits properly. It doesn’t make much sense since you’re going straight to the bathroom and will take off your clothes. But Barbatos does his thing anyway, seemingly enjoying this meaningless process. “Some people are more pleasant to look after than others, though…”

“Yeah, okay.” You take his hands and remove them from your body. “Don’t go overboard with it, deal? I’m a full-functioning adult, and you ain’t my mom.”

“I’m sorry,” Barbatos immediately bows. “I didn’t realize that my actions made you feel uncomfortable. I’ll make sure to contain myself.” He speaks politely, but you have no idea what he’s thinking, with this neutral expression on his face.

“It’s okay. I’ll go prepare for the day. Thanks for the tea,” you smile reassuringly and hurry toward the castle, leaving Barbatos behind. When it comes to this guy, everything is strange. You have no idea how to act around him, and you don’t think that you’ll ever will.

Unfortunately, you find neither Diavolo nor Lucifer in the bedroom, damn workaholics. It gives you a chance to take a shower in peace, which is a rarity these days. After a short me-time, you rush to the kitchen. Solomon is already here, carefully mixing something unusual-looking. He looks rough, just like any person after a wild party should. You almost feel guilty for feeling so energetic. It seems that Barbatos prepared his special tea just for you.

“Hey there!” You greet him cheerfully, but Solomon doesn’t share your enthusiasm. He simply nods to you and continues the cooking process. You approach Solomon from behind, putting your hands on his waist and landing your head on his shoulder. Despite his unhealthy appearance, Solomon looks good in his apron, preoccupied with cooking. After curiously inspecting the contents of the bowl in front of the sorcerer, you learn that he mixes garlic with watermelon and custard. Looks odd, but you’re not the cook, Solomon is. You decide to lower your voice since the man clearly suffers from a severe hangover. “Sorry for being late, I overslept. How are you? Need some water? Coffee? Pickle juice? It usually helps a little when there are no meds.”

“No, thank you,” Solomon gives you a weak smile. “Nothing works for me except for my potions. I remembered to bring wine and champagne, but completely forgot about the aftermath. So I get what I deserve.”

“Okay then, let’s finish cooking so you can get some rest.” You smooch Solomon and put on the second apron. “What do you need me to do?”

“Cut these,” the sorcerer points at strawberries, onions, suspicious-looking mushrooms, some fish, bananas, broccoli, and pickles.

“Does… all of this go into one dish?” Solomon nods at your question. You start suspecting something, but obediently begin working. “How do you want me to cut it? Into large or small pieces? Maybe into strips?”

“However you want. And don’t worry, these are only half of the ingredients. It’s a complex recipe, but I guarantee that everybody will enjoy it,” Solomon smiles dreamily.

He seems to know what he’s doing, so you shrug and start working with a knife. It’s a meditative process, you don’t really like cooking, but cutting things into pieces is fun. After you are done with a major part of your task, you break the silence:

“So, what happened yesterday after your magic went on rampage? I didn’t have much time to observe the consequences.”

“It was… embarrassing, to say the least.” Solomon sighs heavily, filling the pot with water and throwing in raw flour, nuts, peppers, pieces of pineapple, and a ton of ketchup. “Almost everybody showed up to help save the situation. Which was very kind of them, but was very unfortunate for me. I’ve never gotten so many judgmental glances in my life.”

“Come on, you were just a little drunk, that’s all. Shit happens, nothing to judge here,” you say without a second thought, cutting bananas. You sneakily munch a couple of pieces in the process – perks of being the helper of a chef.

“That’s not why they were… displeased.” Solomon shakes his head, frustrated that he has to explain every single detail. “Just remember what we were doing before you left, and you’ll get answer.”

You imagine drunk Solomon, unable to get up from the couch. And yourself, seductively grinding against his thighs…

“Ahahahaha!” You can’t hold back a loud laugh, even for the sake of Solomon’s poor, aching head. “Gods, I completely forgot that I left you all riled up! Fuck, did everybody see your boner? Please tell me that Luke wasn’t there!”

“He wasn’t, luckily.” Solomon winces at your loud reaction. As much as he likes to see you enjoying yourself, he doesn’t appreciate when you laugh at him. “But it was traumatizing nonetheless. Still, it’s a relief that my pride was the only thing that was hurt. Drunk, angry demons are not the opponents I want to face when I’m unable to control my magic. And my body, for that matter.”

You feel obligated to approach the poor man and give him a couple of comforting kisses. Solomon doesn’t look as pale after you’re done, so it’s a success in your book.

“I’m sorry,” you try to sound genuine, but a wide grin ruins the attempt. “You were too delicious to hold back. I wish I got a chance to finish what I started, but maybe next time. Or you’re now too traumatized for any semi-public naughty activities?”

“For the next hundred years, for sure.” Solomon smiles more genuinely. “Only behind closed doors, with a couple of protective spells along the perimeter. And only sober.”

“Gotcha,” you smirk, smooch your sorcerer one last time, and return to the knife. There is still work to be done.

It takes some time to prepare a fulfilling breakfast, but you manage. The main obstacle is not the number of people you need to feed, it’s Beel. The glutton is not hard to please when it comes to quality, but the quantity has to be ridiculously large. Still, you’re quite proud of the amount of food you and Solomon prepared, and it doesn’t look half-bad.

So when almost all the demons and angels fainted the second they took a bite, it was a real shock.

“Guys?!” You jump on your feet, still not sure if it’s just a stupid prank. The only demons who avoided the dreadful fate were Diavolo, Barbatos, and Asmo. Even Lucifer didn’t manage to withstand Solomon’s cooking. You would find it entertaining if you weren’t so worried about the guys. They look like whatever they tasted haunts them even while they are unconscious.

“Don’t worry, Tiel.” Asmo calmly sips his tea (prepared by Barbatos). He doesn’t look alert in the slightest, more like tired. “That’s Solomon’s cooking for you. I hoped that since you helped him, the effect won’t be that excruciating, but alas. I suppose it’s some kind of professional deformation. Solomon is such a professional alchemist that he unintentionally lets his skill and magic influence even his cooking.”

“Unintentionally? You sure? It looks more like an attempted murder.” You observe how Diavolo and Barbatos try to wake up demons and angels, but, so far, to no avail. Is that Solomon’s way to take revenge for his embarrassment? You can respect the dedication, but holy shit. Taking out almost everybody at once, that’s just crazy.

“Yes, Tiel. Unintentionally. That’s the scariest part. Look,” Asmo points at Solomon, who calmly eats his biological weapon of mass destruction. He seems confused about the state of demons and angels, but not enough to stop eating.

“Did we accidentally add some ingredient that is poisonous to non-humans?” Solomon casually asks, looking at knocked-out Luke and Simeon with compassion.

“No, dude, you literally just almost killed the most powerful creatures in the Devildom with your cooking,” you say, watching how the sorcerer munches on the salad that completely obliterated Lucifer earlier.

“Then how am I eating my cooking without any problems?” Solomon doesn’t sound convinced. “It must be some ingredient that we don’t know about, I’m sure. Anyway, Castiel, it should be safe for you. How about this pie? It’s just delicious.” The man moves the pie closer to you. You move further from the pie.

“Thanks, I think I’ll try it out when we find the reason why everyone is out cold." You lower your voice, mumbling under your breath. "I don’t want to die for the second time.”

“See?” Asmo whispers. “No matter how many times I try to tell him that he’s awful at cooking, he always manages to find excuses.”

There can be only two explanations. Either Solomon is a maniac who is very convincing at playing a dummy. Or he genuinely doesn’t believe that he is just that bad. The first variant implies that by offering you a pie just now, Solomon tried to kill you. It wouldn’t make any sense, but it is a possibility. The fact that the sorcerer is so oblivious about his skills in cooking doesn’t make sense either. He is too old and smart for this shit. Is this some kind of curse? You tend to explain everything with curses lately, but it would sound logical. Some kind of influence from the outside, the one that Solomon doesn’t realize…

“Castiel.” Barbatos suddenly intrudes into your thoughts. “Can you take all the dishes back to the kitchen? I’m afraid that once everyone wakes up, they can lose consciousness from the sight and smell of food. They will be in a vulnerable state, so it’s important to remove all possible negative stimuli.”

“Oh, I’ll help.” Solomon finishes his breakfast and starts levitating the dishes in the direction of the kitchen.

You decide that your help is no longer needed, so you and Asmo join Diavolo and Barbatos in attempts to wake up others.

“You know,” you say, carefully lifting Luke from the floor, “I assume that among the survivors I am the only one who wasn’t aware of Solomon’s cooking. Why did you let him cook in the first place?”

“I thought it was funny,” Asmo shrugs, slapping Mammon’s face. But the greedy demon doesn’t wake up, even after several brutal smashes. “These guys won’t be killed by some soup, even if it’s prepared by Solomon. But don’t worry, Tiel.” Asmo gives you a bright smile. “I would never let you eat anything Solomon cooked, I care too much about you.”

“That’s… very comforting. Thanks, Asmo,” you say with a weak smile.

“As for me,” Diavolo joins the discussion without stopping filling Lucifer with healing magic. “I thought that it would be fair to let all the exchange students take part in the cultural exchange. Solomon was so enthusiastic about it; how could I say no?”

“Yeah, right. Now tell me the real reason, you shady bastard.” You frown at Diavolo’s excuses.

“Haha, but it is true! Though, if I’m being completely honest…” The prince still smiles, but something serious appears in his eyes. “The Seven Rulers had one important task: be your protectors. And so far, the only demon who has shown himself competent has been Asmodeus. He was the one who saved you from that statue and fulfilled his duties. But when it came to other dangers… You had to face them alone. So I figured that a little bit of food poisoning would be a good punishment for the brothers. But it’s a pity that the angels were affected as well.”

“Beel and Mammon shielded me from Lucifer,” you protest. “By your logic, they are just as competent as Asmo.”

“If they were indeed that reliable,” Diavolo frowns, “they would’ve dived into the lake after you instead of fighting Lucifer on the shore. It was a miracle that you survived. I understand that they are not used to such situations, and protecting someone is not their usual activity. But as the Seven Rulers, they must be ready for anything. We’re all a little bit rusty after centuries of paperwork and not much else. But it’s time to wake up.”

With these words, the prince unleashes his healing magic on all the demons and angels, much more powerful than he used before. It’s restoring energy softly envelopes your hand, making scratches from Solomon’s teeth disappear. But most importantly, the brothers and angels start coming back to life.

“Wha-? What happened?” Luke and Simeon are the first to wake up. It seems that demons are more vulnerable to Solomon’s peculiar skills in cooking. You immediately hand over the glasses of water to the angels, so they can get rid of an awful taste in their mouths. Soon, the brothers start to get up as well, each with the same disgusted look on their faces.

“It seems that everybody is fine, what a relief!” Diavolo smiles widely. “It means that you’re all ready for a productive day at RAD!”

“What?!” Mammon almost chokes on the third glass of water, which he desperately sips.

“I believe you all remember that today is Monday?” Diavolo grins even wider. What a sadist. “I can’t express how grateful I am that you all spent your days off in my castle. It was a very successful retreat, and I couldn’t be prouder of the results. Let’s hope that we won’t need such retreats in the future. Though I wish we could gather more often, to create happy and fun memories together. Well, let’s head to RAD, we have a lot of work to do! Don’t worry about your stuff, it will all be delivered to your homes.”

Barbatos is already standing near an open portal to the Academy. The brothers look horrible, like they just escaped the grave (which, technically, indeed happened). They can barely stand, but they can’t go against Diavolo’s order. So the poor guys waddle in the direction of the portal, looking like they will fall to the ground the second they pass through it. The angels, looking almost completely healthy, follow them. Solomon’s hangover still tortures him, and Asmo’s loud and ringing voice doesn’t help. The demon doesn’t waste time and tries to explain to the sorcerer just how deadly his food is. But you’re almost sure that in this state, Solomon doesn’t hear a single word. They disappear in the portal, leaving only you, Diavolo, and Barbatos.

“You two are a pair of sick fuckers,” you smirk. You only now realize how passive-aggressive the whole retreat was: from the infamous Treasure Hunt to the fact that the ball was held on Sunday evening. “And I somehow doubt that Simeon and Luke have some kind of resistance to Solomon’s shit. I bet you spent much more healing magic on angels than on your trusty subordinates, Diavolo.”

“I would prefer if your theory remained a little secret between us, Castiel,” Diavolo smiles politely. 

“Okay, I’ll keep my conclusions to myself. But make sure to let the brothers know about the connection between their current suffering and their unprofessionalism as bodyguards. Otherwise, they’ll never learn,” you sigh, feeling a hint of pity toward the boys.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it as clear as possible at our today’s meeting. I hope that it’ll give them motivation to help you more effectively,” Diavolo says joyfully, but there is no smile in his eyes. He always becomes serious whenever the topic of your safety is brought up.

“Yeah, about that…” You have no intention to leave before you make yourself clear. “Remember that talk we had after the whole Cerberus thing? You promised to show me respect by not intruding in my business and letting me deal with everything on my own. And now you’re so adamant on providing me uncalled protection. That doesn’t add up.”

“It was before you died.” Diavolo frowns, losing all his friendliness in an instant. “At first, I planned just to punish them and fix our reputation in the process. But now I see that you could use some help. Especially since Barbatos’ inspection failed, and the Devildom turned out to be much more dangerous for you than we anticipated. By the time Barbatos finishes his second inspection, I want you to always be accompanied by someone. Even after the inspection is finished, I would prefer…”

“Okay, hold on, Majesty,” you interrupt Diavolo’s speech. You see very familiar determination and stubbornness in his eyes. And you don’t like it one bit. “That won’t do. First you claimed that you understood everything I’ve said about equality, and now you decide to treat me like a child?! Did everything I’ve said go over your head? It’s more than enough that I agreed to live with the brothers for 'safety reasons'. But now you want to make them my babysitters?”

“I don’t think that it’s unreasonable, given the circumstances…” Diavolo tries to calmly reason with you, but it never worked before, and it won’t work now.

“Circumstances, my ass! Why don’t you just trap me in some tower, where I’ll be safe and sound for the rest of the year, huh?!” You’re fired up and ready to guard your independence, no matter what. “Listen here, Diavolo: the second you decide to take away my freedom and force your ridiculous demands on me, the whole exchange program is over. And not only because I’ll refuse to participate in this shitshow. But because by doing so, you go against the whole point of the program. You wanted angels, demons, and humans to be friends and live happily ever after? Well, guess what? It won’t happen. Instead of overcoming existing obstacles and problems, building an inclusive place for everybody, you prefer to create artificial, secure conditions that are completely unsustainable in the real world. It’s like raising a rabbit in a safe house, then releasing it into the wild, and acting all surprised when the rabbit is eaten by a fox within ten seconds.”

“I don’t ask you to surrender your independence completely, just by the time Barbatos finishes working…” Diavolo makes another try, but it fails completely.

“You know who you are, Majesty? A coward! You’re so afraid of the failure of your precious exchange program that you decide to avoid all the dangers before they even show up. And maybe you’ll avoid any reputational damage, sure. But the future you seek will never happen unless you’re willing to take risks. Hell, if you’re so scared of the consequences of your failure, why did you initiate the program in the first place? You clearly don’t have the balls to finish what you’ve started!” Before you got into the Devildom, you’d never had to shout so much in your life. And now look at you: constant yelling and growling, endless conflicts all day, every day.

“That’s not what I’m scared of!” The prince raises his voice in return. Finally, he became tired of pretending to be all calm and understanding. Now it’s a real battle between one stubborn idiot and another. “I understand that you don’t care about other people’s feelings, when you rush into danger head-first. It seems that it’s easier for you to accept that all I care about is my reputation, not your well-being. Fine, if you choose to believe it, suit yourself. But don’t blame me for the desire to avoid at least some hazards that you always seek and eventually find! You offer me to just stand aside, doing nothing, while you’re testing your luck, over and over?”

“Yes! That’s exactly what I need you to do!” You exclaim, losing your patience. “Just fuck off! I don’t need your help, care, advices, or ‘feelings’! If I ever need it, I’ll ask! That easy!”

“But you’ll never ask! That’s the whole problem!” Diavolo loses his temper as well. “You always insist on doing everything on your own!”

“Not true! If I don’t run to you at first signs of danger, begging for protection, that doesn’t mean that I’m some edgy lone wolf. I am capable of accepting help, talking about my feelings, and being grateful for someone’s care. It’s you who is too overprotective and patronizing!”

“Of course I am overprotective! You died! It’s only natural to do everything in my power to avoid this happening ever again.” Diavolo speaks just as loudly as you, but he doesn’t sound half as angry as you are. More like worried and frustrated. “And if you think that you’re so open and honest, answer me this: if nobody knew that you have almost died, would you tell anybody about that?”

“No! Because it’s only my business, my weakness. And I’ll deal with it alone, no use crying about it. Telling anybody about the situation would only complicate things.”

“There you have it! And you’re telling me that you’re capable of accepting help?”

“Hell yeah, I can. For example, I will gladly accept your help with shutting up your big mouth!”

“Castiel…” Diavolo sighs heavily.

“What? You don’t like something, Mr. My-Dungeons-Are-Full-Of-Corpses?” you ask the prince mockingly. “You really have the nerve to judge me for not wanting to tell my secrets to anybody? You have more skeletons in your closet, both figuratively and literally, than I can ever dream of! Just like everybody in this damn realm! Golly gosh, I dare to be careful and secretive around demons! What a shocker! Who in their right mind would do such a thing?!”

“Castiel, please…”

“Now listen up, Majesty. No babysitters, you hear me? Or we’re done.” You lower the volume of your voice, trying to sound as intimidating as possible. Damn, you really can’t allow Diavolo to proceed with his bright idea. You struggle with the whole Belphie thing as it is, and any additional supervision will ruin your plans even more. “If you don’t trust in my decisions, my capabilities, or my judgment, shove your opinion up your ass. Either show me some respect or go fuck yourself.”

You don’t wait for his answer, angrily stomping toward the portal. You say your goodbyes to Barbatos, who was standing silently during the whole argument with Diavolo like a piece of furniture, and teleport to RAD.

Damn prince. You’re so tired of these demons who claim that they know what you need better than you. They may live much longer, but that doesn’t make all of them automatically wise or smart. Thousands of years of experience don’t mean shit if you choose not to learn from it.

You decide to stop thinking about it, otherwise, you’ll be agitated all day. You stop in the middle of the corridor, trying to remember which class you’re supposed to go to. When, all of a sudden, the door near you opens, revealing someone’s hand that grips you and drags into the room.

You’re about to start throwing hands, when you recognize the room and the man near you. Mephistopheles snatched you into his office.

“Finally!” He exclaims dramatically, locking the door behind you. “I was trying to get to you for who knows how long! Are you even a student, or just hang out at the Academy whenever you please?”

“Dude, I skipped one day… With Diavolo’s permission, mind you.” You already start feeling tired because of this obnoxious guy. It seems that the whole eternity has passed since you gave Mephisto the hard drive of the CEO of Spicy News. You hoped that you won’t have to deal with this story ever again, but the demon has other plans.

“Lord Diavolo, human. Know your place. Now, where was I…” Mephisto approaches his desk and takes something into his hands. It’s the hard drive.

“So? Did you find something useful on this thing?” You ask mostly to move on with the unpleasant conversation; you’re not that invested in the journalism world of the Devildom.

“Oh, I did. I couldn’t call myself a journalist if I failed such a trivial task. And after everything I found, I have only one piece of advice for you.” Mephisto shoves the hard drive into your hands. “Destroy this thing.”

“Okay, let me get this straight: I get that you are a little bit of a drama queen…”

“What?!”

“…But can we skip all the theatrics and get to the specifics? What exactly did you find?”

“You… You’re so lucky that you’re under the personal protection of Lord Diavolo, human,” Mephisto’s eye starts twitching. He had to deal with a lot of brutes in his life, but you’re just insufferable. Well, the feeling is certainly mutual. “Fine, you want the specifics? You robbed the wrong demon. I found out who sponsors Spicy News, and it’s bad news for you, for me, for all of us. It’s…” The demon looks around the empty room, making sure that nobody is listening. He whispers: “It’s one of the members of the House of Lords.”

“And?” You ask, making Mephisto wince at your question. “I mean, it was pretty obvious from the start that Spicy News is used for some propaganda. So it’s one of Diavolo’s political rivals, it’s hardly surprising.”

“You don’t understand how serious the whole situation is,” Mephisto sighs. “On paper, the House of Lords should peacefully coexist with the King, providing its guidance, influencing the decisions of the ruler. It's a force that doesn’t let Lord Diavolo be the only man in the whole realm who has power over everything. And if something unexpected happens, we can temporarily take the place of the King and rule the country on the King’s behalf, to avoid the crash of the system. We are a precautionary measure that helps the King govern the Devildom wisely.”

“We?”

“Yes, I’m a member of the House of Lords. After my father retired, I took his place. And as a representative of the House of Lords, let me assure you: the support of our future King has never been stronger.”

“Right…” You sigh heavily. Well, just great. The man in charge of the investigation and the person under the investigation are in the same friend group. The worst outcome imaginable. Of course, Mephisto doesn’t want to write an article about his findings, it would incriminate not only this Lord, but the whole organization, including Mephistopheles. Should you try to reason with the demon? Is he more loyal to Diavolo or the House of Lords? “Look, when I first brought you the hard drive, you agreed that whatever Spicy News is doing is against Diavolo’s interests. You literally promised to 'take down Spicy News, even if it’s the last thing you do'. And now you’re gonna just chicken out?”

“It’s not about my pride as a journalist. And not about my fear of going against people I’ve been working with for hundreds of years.” Mephisto says it with frustration. “It’s about a very possible conflict between our future King and the House of Lords. They are the two legs on which the whole Devildom’s peace and prosperity stand. If one leg fights the other, how long do you think we will stand? Not to mention angels. They are already poking their noses in our business, thanks to the whole exchange program. I don’t criticize the program in any way, Lord Diavolo’s goals are very honorable, and I fully support them. But we have two pairs of Celestial eyes right behind Lord Diavolo’s back. How fast will the Celestial Realm learn about the conflict between ourselves? They’ll be able to use our weakened state to their advantage. Do you realize what consequences it will cause?”

“I won’t pretend that I’m a professional when it comes to politics, that’s not my area of expertise. But let’s look at the whole situation from a different perspective,” you offer, doubting if you should proceed further with the whole thing. You just wanted to take revenge on nosy paparazzi and improve your relationship with Asmo. How the hell did you get involved in the political conspiracy?! “You’re worried about the external enemy, I get it. But it’s your perspective, you care about the whole Devildom. Meanwhile, this Lord is clearly concerned with his political ambitions. They already invested in Spicy News, and already tried to smear Diavolo’s name. Whether you like it or not, the conflict has already started. Diavolo, with his exchange program, is now particularly vulnerable to all the criticism. From my understanding, the program is not very popular among the common folk. So if this Lord wants to change the balance, now is the best time.”

“You’re making it sound much more sinister than it actually is!” Mephisto loudly disagrees. “So far, Spicy News has provided only valid criticism of the Seven Rulers, avoiding any mention of Lord Diavolo. You claimed that they intended to publish some kind of material about the future King, but you don’t have any proofs! And I didn’t find anything in this hard drive either! As far as I’m concerned, this newspaper was created purely to provide an alternative point of view, nothing more. And all the finances that were donated by the Lord were just patronage, not a part of some political scheme!”

“Now you’re just making excuses,” you sigh. You don’t have the energy for yet another fight. You had a quarrel with Diavolo to protect your own interests. What will you gain here? Nothing. Diavolo’s position, the politics of the Devildom, independent journalism – those are the things you don’t give two shits about. You don’t care about Spicy News enough to proceed with this investigation. And it seems that you can make a pact with Asmo without any problems. So there is no point in pressing forward. “Fine, whatever. I’m actually impressed. I thought that you, as number 1 Diavolo’s fan, would immediately run to him and tell all about this Lord. But you’re actually thinking about the Devildom. Or about saving your own ass. I don’t really care about your reasoning. But just to make sure: you don’t want to tell me the name of this mysterious Lord, do you?”

“No, and I advise you to stay out of it. Destroy all the evidence, I will be vigilant as well. We don’t need to stir up a hornet’s nest.” Mephisto frowns, looking at the hard drive in your hands.

“Well, thanks for nothing, I guess.” You leave Mephisto’s office, thinking about your options.

You definitely shouldn’t get rid of the hard drive right away. It will be enough to just hide it somewhere. Maybe you should just go to Diavolo with it? No, he was already against the idea of the official investigation, so if he finds out that you stole a very important piece of information and killed two demons in the process… He’ll get mad, and you won’t even have any solid proofs to support your conspiracy theory.

Speaking of the two dead demons… You didn’t hear anything about them in the news. Does nobody care about two men who just disappeared? Besides, there was a chase across the city, with gunshots and everything. There weren’t many people around at that hour, but somebody should’ve seen something. It’s suspiciously quiet, nobody talks about it. Maybe the appearance of a giant dog on the streets two days later shifted all the attention? Or such chases are a usual thing around here? In any case, there is no way that the police will find out who is behind all this. Both your car and the car of the two security guards have become part of the lava river. It’s a shame that it all ended like this. It doesn’t matter how bad you are, killing people who were just doing their job doesn’t sit right with you. Still, they tried to shoot you, very persistently, so you don’t feel too bad.

You sigh and decide not to think about it. You’ll speak with Asmo later, maybe he’ll have some bright ideas. And at that, you move on with your day.

***

You’re sitting on the bench next to the Academy, smoking a cigarette and thinking about nothing. This bad habit is slowly creeping back into your life, you started indulging more frequently recently. You promise yourself to quit if you survive by the end of this damn exchange program.

Your day full of learning is over, so you just lazily watch other students exit RAD and slowly walk to their homes. You’re waiting for one particular demon whom you invited for dinner over the phone. Beel, thanks to Solomon’s cooking and Diavolo’s mercilessness, felt ill the whole day. Other brothers looked just as bad, but the inability to eat influenced Beelzebub the most. You timely remembered your promise to take him out somewhere that you made while escaping the crazy, red-eyed maniac. So now you’re morally preparing yourself to lose all your money in an attempt to feed the Avatar of Gluttony, who was starving for several hours. The student council had a meeting today, so the brothers are leaving the building a bit later than the rest of the students.

You watch from afar how all the brothers leave the Academy and march toward the House of Lamentation. Only Beel knows that you’re still here. He stays behind, waiting for the other guys to walk further. Only after they’re all gone does he turn around and quickly rush toward your bench.

“Hi,” he greets you with his on-brand shy smile, which makes him look like an adorable puppy. You extinguish your cigarette, throw it away, and rise on your feet. Beel doesn’t wear his uniform today, just like everybody else who participated in the retreat. You simply didn’t have a chance to change clothes, but nobody really cared, Diavolo let it slide. Beel looks good wearing whatever, but his casual look is one of your favorites. He looks cozy and huggable.

Instead of greeting him, you pull the demon into your embrace and kiss him. Beel flinches from surprise but instantly relaxes, hugging you back. You hope that he doesn’t mind the taste of cigarettes in your mouth, but judging from Beel’s eagerness to deepen the kiss, he is completely fine with it. Now, when his annoying twin doesn’t occupy your brain, you can finally have him all to yourself.

GROWL!

Or maybe not. You smile as you move your head away.

“Sorry…” Beel sighs, looking at his stomach judgmentally.

“No, it’s me who should be sorry. Here,” you hand over a couple of buns that you bought while waiting for the demon. “It isn’t much, but I hope that it’ll make the road less unbearable.”

“Thank you!” Beel immediately starts shining brighter than the sun, munching on the buns.

You both head to Hell’s Kitchen, a local restaurant recommended by Beel. You’ve never been there, but you’ll trust Beel’s taste.

The restaurant turned out to be a pleasant place with an informal atmosphere. Your casual look seems very fitting, so you sit back and join Beel in destroying one dish after the other. You don’t talk much, preferring to focus on the food and the company of each other. After some time, you decide to ask about today’s meeting:

“Did you discuss anything important?”

“Well, Lord Diavolo praised our success in… 'building long-lasting relationships between demons and humans', but I don’t think that anybody besides Asmo can have any kind of relationship with Solomon. Especially after what happened today. And yesterday…” Beel frowns, remembering something unpleasant, but he shakes it off quickly, returning to his food. “Taking any revenge on Solomon is strictly forbidden. Lord Diavolo also said that we should try to be friends with angels. Their meals were very tasty, so I don’t mind.”

“Hm, that’s all? You sure?”

Beel stops munching for a second, visibly focusing on his memories.

“Yes, I think that’s all.”

“Great,” you smile, relaxing at last. So Diavolo decided to listen to you. Unusual. You decide not to celebrate just yet, the prince is just as stubborn as you, who knows what he is up to.

After a delicious dinner that made half of your savings disappear, you both go home. There you find scowling demons that are not happy about your date with Beel. But it all becomes insignificant when you learn that both kitchen and your bedroom were restored. You leave the grumpy demons behind, rushing to the part of the House that was previously destroyed. The kitchen looks just like it used to, same as your bedroom. As much as you liked sharing the room with Beel, you really missed having a quiet corner all to yourself. Well, it’s only quiet until any of the brothers decide to blast your door and intrude into your personal space, but still.

It’s time to move your stuff back, and then you’ll have a chance to hang out with Cerberus. You haven’t seen him for two days, so you’re already missing him. You have no idea what you’re gonna do when it’s time to go back to the Human world. It would be best to work on the plan of stealing a giant dog, no matter how impossible it seems.

You head straight to Beel’s room and start collecting your stuff. Beel finds you as you’re about to start packing your clothes. His hair is slightly wet from a shower, and he smells like lime. Absolutely delicious. 

“Are you… leaving?” he asks quietly, sitting down on your (his) bed.

“My bedroom is finally fixed, so you don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore. You can sleep in your own bed, isn’t that awesome?” You try to cheer him up, settling next to him and slightly bumping his shoulder.

“I can sleep in my own bed,” Beel nods and looks at you attentively. “But that doesn’t mean that you have to leave. My bed is big enough for the two of us.”

…

“Gods, Beel…” You cover your face with your hand. Damn, you’re blushing, what a fuck? “Look, I can come over from time to time, but I can’t live with you. Just imagine how your brothers will act. They’re already annoying, and all we did is went on a date.”

“It was a date?” Beel smiles, looking happy despite your refusal.

“Well… I hope so. I don’t know much about dates, but that’s how I imagine them.” You shrug, trying to hide the embarrassment.

“I liked it,” Beel says quietly, leaning closer and kissing you. It isn’t very comfortable to make out while sitting next to each other, so you just climb on his lap instead. The demon instantly grabs your thighs and moves you closer. Beel’s broad legs make for an awesome chair, so you settle comfortably and enjoy the moment.

Your fingers wander along his torso, gripping his muscles through the fabric. When your grabby hands land on Beel’s pecs, you smirk into the kiss. You enjoy how round his chest is, teasing his pointy nipples through the black t-shirt. When you pinch them a little, Beel moans so sweetly that it sends electrical charges through your whole body. Blood rushes all the way down, making your brain empty and your dick hard.

Beelzebub feels the same, and his natural response is to drop you on the bed, pressing you down with his body. He attacks you with kisses all over your face, moving lower with each smooch. You don’t mind in the slightest, but you feel the need to clarify something:

“Beel, wait just a second…” you breathe out. The demon stops obediently and raises his head, staring at you with his violet eyes. “Listen, there is something I can’t do during sex, but I'm open to anything besides that…”

“Asmo told me,” Beel nods.

“Wait, what? What did he tell you?” you ask, completely confused.

“He can sense others’… desires, I think. So I talked with him yesterday, after our kiss. I don’t want to do something wrong, so I decided that Asmo could help me. And he did. He was drunk, so he told me plenty of things… I made some notes. So don’t worry,” Beel blushes but looks confident nonetheless. “I will never do anything you don’t like.”

“Okay…” You try to smile, turning red once again. Beel’s simplicity is the only thing that can make you all embarrassed like that. “And what exactly are you going to do?”

“Asmo said to use my advantages. I don’t have a gag reflex, and my mouth can open very wide,” Beel casually responds, looking right at you. No signs of embarrassment whatsoever. “So I think I’ll start with a blowjob.”

“Wait-wait-wait,” you recoil nervously. “Are you sure that it’s… safe? Can you accidentally… bite my dick off?” You shiver at the thought; your cock is not as hard anymore. “I mean… look at your fangs! I think it’s a risky idea…”

“Do you want to test it out?” Beel backs away and sits on his knees. You sit near him.

“How?”

“Use your arm. It’s not as delicate as your dick, but it’s wider. If it’s alright, I won’t hurt you during sex,” Beel says calmly, opening his mouth. It does open rather wide, maybe he can even fit your whole hand.

“That is just bizarre…” You sigh, moving closer. You washed your hands when you came home, but this fact doesn’t make the whole idea safer. Or saner. You slowly push your fist into Beel’s mouth, having a mix of emotions: fear, a hint of disgust, but mostly curiosity. The demon takes your hand with ease. His fangs don’t even scratch you, strangely enough. “Holy shit, dude, that’s insane!” You laugh a little bit, observing a crazy scene. But you don’t know yet just how insane demonic anatomy can get. Beel takes your arm and slowly pushes it further. “W-Wait!...”

You’re about to panic, but there is no need, because the demon easily swallows your arm all the way to the elbow. He breathes calmly, like his neck is not stretched by your fucking arm.

“That… that’s… What the fuck, dude?!” You try to examine Beel from different angles, but since your arm is stuck inside him, you can’t move too much. “Are you a fucking snake?! How is this even possible?! Are you hurt?”

Beel can’t reply, but he looks at you just as calmly as ever. The fucked-up situation aside, your trapped arm feels strange. Beel’s flesh envelops it, you can even feel his steady heartbeat. And warmth. You try not to move at all, you’re scared that you can accidentally hurt Beel.

It’s sickening. But damn, it’s kind of interesting. You saw how easily Beel can swallow simply enormous objects. But you never expected that his mouth and neck could stretch to this degree. Can all humanoid demons do this, or is it his personal quirk? Can he swallow more than that? At this point, you won’t be surprised if he can swallow you whole.

“Okay, I think that’s enough. I’ll pull out, okay?” You warn Beel before you start releasing your arm. It moves smoothly, and soon you’re free. The demon casually hands you wet wipes from the bedside table. “Thanks…” you mutter, staring at his completely normal mouth. “Are you all right? I didn’t hurt anything, did I?”

“I’m fine. It wasn’t unpleasant,” Beel responds, examining your reaction.

“Glad to hear it… How wide does your mouth open, exactly?”

“I think I can swallow something around your size without chewing,” he says seriously, sending shivers down your spine.

“So… In other words, if I need to hide a corpse, I should go straight to you,” you try to laugh it off, but your smirk disappears when Beel simply nods. Okay… That’s a thought that you’ll leave for another day. “You know, I constantly forget that you guys are demons. But fucked up shit like this helps to refresh my memory.”

“I think you should constantly keep this in mind,” Beel says. He doesn’t sound threatening, but the words seem menacing anyway. “So? Are you still scared of my mouth?”

“Um… To be honest, maybe even more than before we did this…” You smile nervously. “Did you have any urges to bite my arm off?”

“No.” The demon instantly replies. Somehow, you totally believe him.

“Fine, I’ll trust you on this…” you sigh, laying down. “But if I tell you to stop, you do exactly what I say, deal?”

“Deal,” Beel presses his body against yours and returns to kissing your lips. Yeah, that’s more like it. Completely normal and not creepy whatsoever. It takes you some time to relax again, but Beel definitely knows what he’s doing. You take off almost all your clothes in the process, leaving only underwear. Soon, you’re just as hard as before, but his mouth is nowhere near your crotch.

“Fuck, Beel, come on. Either do something, or I’ll take the matter into my own hands,” you quietly complain.

“Are you sure?”

“Hell yeah, I’m sure. Just put anything on my dick: hands, mouth, ass, doesn’t matter.” You sound needy and desperate, but you don’t care. Because the demon listens to your pleas and moves lower. He takes off the last piece of clothing and stares at your cock for a while. “You better not think about biting it.” You rise on your arms to look at the demon with suspicion.

“I won’t. I’m just trying to remember Asmo’s instructions,” Beel says, lost in thought. He then sighs, clearly failing to remember anything, and just swallows you whole in one motion.

You almost jump straight to the ceiling from the piercing pleasure. It’s a feeling like no other: Beel doesn’t just keep you in his mouth, his tongue plays with you freely, like a huge fucking object between jaws is not an obstacle. You would envy such skill, but it feels too good to think about anything.

Beel doesn’t even move his head, letting his mouth do all the hard work. His violet eyes stare at you, paying attention to all your reactions. When your hips start moving on their own, the demon just lets you fuck his mouth as hard and fast as you like. He closes his eyes, enjoying your taste. But it takes you too long to release inside him. Beel can be patient, but not right now. He opens his mouth wider and takes in your balls, putting immense pressure on them. You basically whimper from sudden and intense sensations. Your fingers grip his hair, and you come inside him. You had no chance to hold on any longer.

Beel happily swallows all you’re giving to him, squeezing your balls more to make sure that nothing is left. You feel like he sucked your soul out, together with the content of your testicles. You’re done.

But when you feel Beel’s erection against your leg, your strength starts returning. There’s still work that needs to be done.

“Take off everything and sit on my face,” you say, but your voice sounds so tired, like you just finished an intense workout. You may have no energy left, but you’ll do your best. Just in a lazy way.

“You don’t need to…” Beel definitely sees that he went a bit overboard, so he tries to stop you from exhausting yourself.

“I want to. Put your damn ass or dick on my face, whatever you prefer. Now.” You close your eyes, waiting for the demon to finish undressing. When you feel that he has climbed on top of you and is now hovering near your face, you open your eyes.

Hm, it’s an ass, if you’ve ever seen one. Strange, you were almost certain that Beel would prefer to have his dick sucked. But you have zero complaints.

“I told you to sit on me, come on,” you command once more, enjoying the view. You were gawking at this ass for a long time, and now it’s within inches of your face. Dreams do come true.

“Are you sure that I won’t… crush you?” Beel asks nervously, easily supporting his weight in a half-sitting position. Damn, his legs must be incredibly strong, holding all that ass without a single twitch.

“If you snap my neck or suffocate me with your thighs, know this: I’ll die happily, and my spirit will be forever grateful,” you jest, calmingly caressing Beel’s legs. “Don’t worry, Beel, I’ve got this.”

The demon sighs and carefully puts his weight on you. You have to shift your position to move your mouth right to Beel’s hole. Your hands find his dick, which makes Beel twitch his hips from your touch. His bubble-butt traps your face completely, squeezing you from both sides. Well, if it’s not what heaven looks like, you don’t want to go there.

So, you start working. Your lips and tongue caress Beel’s hole while you massage his cock to the rhythm. The more you do it, the more the demon enjoys himself. You remove one hand from his dick and place it on his ass cheek. You spread his butt a little to give yourself more room for maneuvers. Your tongue tries to reach deeper, making Beel moan loudly. Yep, he’s clearly into it. His moans do wonders for your enthusiasm and stamina, letting you forget about all the possible discomfort and focus on Beel’s needs. Your neck may hurt, tongue and lips may ache, hands may be tired; but does it really matter when Beel clearly wants more?

His hips start moving on their own, grinding against you face up and down. You try to steady him, but you don’t have enough strength to stop Beel from doing whatever he wants. So you just do your best to keep your tongue inside him and continue stroking his dick, while his massive ass flattens your face. The closer Beel gets to the climax, the less weight he is able to support with his legs. So by the end of the whole ordeal, you find yourself almost literally suffocating beneath him, desperately trying to jerk him off fast enough to make him come.

All your hard work is rewarded with Beel’s final moan. He comes a lot, pressing his hips against your head with all his might. You almost start to believe that Beel took your joke literally, and is now trying to break your neck with his weight. But finally, after a couple of close calls, he moves his butt away, granting you some fresh air. 

He drops on the bed beside you, trying to catch his breath. He looks just as exhausted as you are, so you’re quite proud of your accomplishments.

You take wet wipes and rub your face with them. Then wipe Beel, cause he’s clearly on cloud nine right now and can’t be bothered with basic hygiene. After you’re satisfied with the results, you lay down, hug Beel, and fall asleep.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Wise men say
"Only fools rush in"
But I can't help
Falling in love with you

Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help
Falling in love with you?

Elvis Presley – Can’t Help Falling in Love

A lazy morning meets you with its embrace, gently dragging you out of the dream world. You open your eyes, expecting to see Beel by your side, but he isn’t there. The delicious smell of food gives you a hint where to look for the demon, so you slowly sit on the bed and find Beel on the other side of the room. He is currently preoccupied with carefully settling the tray full of food on the coffee table next to a couch. You patiently wait for him to finish this important task before speaking up:

“Are you trying to sneakily have an additional breakfast, Beel?”

The demon twitches from your voice, clearly not expecting to see you awake.

“N-no, that’s… I prepared this for you. For us, I mean. I wanted to have breakfast together. Do you like pancakes?” he asks, looking a bit shy.

“Pancakes?” You instantly jump out of bed and dash toward the tray. It is indeed filled with pancakes, in addition to two glasses with apple juice and a sauce cup with strawberry jam. “Holy shit. Did you cook them?”

“Yes,” Beel nods, blushing and avoiding looking at you. “If you don’t like jam or juice, I can try to find something else. Levi was supposed to go shopping, but I don’t think that he woke up in time. So we don’t have much, but…”

“Okay, stop.” You gently put a hand on his mouth, making him stop mumbling. “Everything is perfect, thank you. You’re spoiling me too much, Beel, but I appreciate it. Let’s dig in!” You enthusiastically turn toward the coffee table, but you’re stopped by the quiet voice of the demon:

“Can you put something on first? Please…”

You look down and finally notice that you’re completely naked. Makes sense, given what you were doing before falling asleep, but you completely forgot about it. Now you understand the source of Beel’s shy attitude.

“Why?” You smirk. “Do I look more delicious than the pancakes?”

“…Yes.” Beel nods, blushing even more. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back if you continue walking around like that.”

“And how am I supposed to hold back when you’re being that cute?” You grin and ruffle Beel’s hair. The demon sighs and looks you in the eyes. There is hunger in his gaze. His hands lie on the small of your back…

And then the door opens.

“Hey, Beel, did ya see Cas? He isn’t in his room, so… WHAT THE FUCK?!” Mammon casually walks in the bedroom without knocking, as always, and stumbles upon the scene he wishes he would never see.

All three of you silently stare at each other, not sure what to say. You decide that the wisest option is to create some distance between you and Beel. But when you try to back off, Beel’s hands suddenly pull you closer. He frowns, looking at the intruder:

“Mammon, go away. It’s my turn with Castiel now.”

“Wha-?! Your turn?!” Mammon shouts, his eyes drill holes in you. “Since when do ya have any 'turns' with MY boyfriend?!”

“Boyfriend?” You slowly get out of the captivity of the demonic arms. Beel is not happy about it, but he lets you go. “Mon, I don’t remember discussing anything like that.”

“Like ya need to discuss something so obvious! Of course you’re my boyfriend after everything we… Shit, ya know what I mean!” Mammon waves his arms around expressively. His skin is bright red, either from pure rage or embarrassment. Maybe both. You sigh and approach the pile of your clothes that you didn’t finish carrying to your room yesterday. You silently start getting dressed. This conversation is a pure mess already, but you want to, at least, wear your underwear during it.

“Then I’m Castiel’s boyfriend as well.” Beel crosses his arms over his chest. Fuck, it’s getting out of control.

“Okay, guys, stop it. I’m nobody’s boyfriend.” You hope that now, when you’re wearing clothes, you sound more convincing.

“What?! If ya think that ya can avoid takin’ responsibility for all flirtin’ and shit, I have bad news for ya!” Mammon starts shouting louder and louder with each sentence. Beel stands silently, looking at the floor with an unreadable face. “I’m not some one-time lover that ya found in the club! We have a connection, dammit! Ya think ya can press me to the wall and make me cum all over my pants, and then just fuck my brothers behind my back?!”

“I’m not responsible for anything you imagined in your head, Mon.” You frown, feeling a headache. It’s not how this conversation was supposed to go. But it started already, so there is no way back. “I’ve never promised you anything, and I was pretty transparent with what I feel toward you and other guys. I don’t think that you didn’t notice. I’ve never had any intentions to date either of you, because it’s fucking pointless. Don’t you understand? I’ll either die or go back to the Human world, and you’ll never see me again. We have no future together, and it doesn’t matter what I feel or what you two feel. All I wanted was to have some fun. Maybe to distract myself a little from the endless horrors that I encounter on a daily basis.”

“Just to… have some fun?...” Beel quietly repeats your words. He doesn’t look at you, but even so, you can easily visualize his sad eyes in your mind.

“Yes, I’m sorry, but that’s the reality we’re leaving in.” You sign, feeling like a complete piece of trash. “I deeply care about both of you. I haven’t felt something like that… maybe ever. Before I got here, I’ve never had people who could stir such emotions within me. And as much as I enjoy everything you make me feel, you both need to understand that it’s only temporary. Don’t get attached to me, it’s not worth it. I’m not worth it. Because when I disappear from your lives, and it will happen eventually, you’ll regret letting me get into your hearts.”

“Damn, just listen to yourself!” Mammon winces. “What a knight in shinin’ armor! Ya care about our hearts, huh?! Bullshit! Ya just want to fuck everything that moves without consequences and then return to your world like nothing happened!”

“I admit that most of the time I’m thinking with my dick.” You nod, trying to stay calm. Mammon’s words are partially true, so they don’t anger you. But they kind of hurt. “I could’ve controlled myself better, could’ve communicated my desires better. That’s how I am, and I don’t think that I can change that. But I’m fucking trying, okay? I’m trying to explain everything to you right now, and maybe I’m doing a shitty job. But I’ve never intended to play with your emotions or inspire false expectations in my regard. I think I was pretty honest with you all the way. And in my opinion, I’m doing the right thing by saying all this right now, before you fall in love with me or something.”

“Well, guess what? Ya fucked up! Because I already fell in love with ya, idiot!” Mammon shouts at the top of his lungs. He breathes heavily, then growls and punches the wall, leaving a deep dent. The demon shuts his eyes, trying to calm down.

“Mon,” you say softly, making Mammon look at you. “It will pass.”

“…It will pass?... Are you… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDIN’ ME?!” The demon snaps, growling so loudly that the whole house might’ve heard. He starts transforming into his demon form. “THAT’S ALL WHAT YOUR STUPID BRAIN CAN COME UP WITH?! YA THINK I’M GONNA LET YOU TREAT ME LIKE THAT?! YOU’RE NEVER GONNA SEE THE HUMAN WORLD OR OTHER MEN EVER AGAIN, CAS! YOU’RE MINE! MINE!”

“Mammon.” A hand in a black glove lands on the greedy demon’s shoulder. Lucifer speaks calmly, trying to reason with his younger brother. You didn’t notice when he appeared next to Mammon, but you’re grateful. The situation went completely out of control; you objectively couldn’t handle it on your own. “Calm down. Or you’ll do something you will regret for the rest of your life.”

“But he…! He…!” Mammon attempts to transform back. He closes his eyes not to look at you, because the second he sees your face he’ll start raging again.

“I know. But you need to regain control. Go to your room, you have a day off today.” Lucifer insists, attentively observing Beel on the other side of the room. The glutton stands silently, looking at the floor, and hiding his eyes from everybody. He slightly trembles, clenching his fists. “Beel has a day off as well. Castiel, I believe your bedroom is already fixed. I advise you to go there this instant.”

You have no intention to argue with Lucifer, so you simply nod and leave the room, dashing past all the demons as fast as possible. Only when you get to your bedroom do you feel relief. The quiet atmosphere may inspire self-reflection and deep analysis of the whole mess, but fuck that. You’re not gonna think about everything that just happened, you need to calm yourself down. You may have looked like a heartless bastard earlier, but you were impacted as well. And much more than you would expect. You didn’t lie when you said that you care about Beel and Mammon. And hurting them like that… That really sucked.

It would be best to study a little before you need to go to RAD. But as you’re about to start doing something useful, for a change, you’re stopped by knocking at the door. Well, it’s definitely not Mammon.

When you open the door and see the crimson eyes, you can only sigh heavily:

“Oh, man, please. Not now. I know I fucked up. Can we do the whole lecture-thing later?”

“I came to talk, not to lecture you,” Lucifer answers and enters your room, like he has every right to be here despite your annoyance.

“We both know that you can’t speak like a normal person. You either try to kill me or attempt to discipline me, there is no other option,” you scoff, settling on your bed.

“I fail to see how it is my fault. In my opinion, you’re so insufferable that it’s impossible to speak with you in a civilized manner.” Lucifer slightly smirks while sitting down on a chair in front of you. But he returns to his frowning look quickly. “Let’s set aside our bickering and discuss what we both care about – my brothers.”

“The last thing I want is you getting into our business, Lucifer,” you wince. “I’ll handle this myself. Do me a favor and do not intervene.”

“So what I just witnessed was you 'handling the situation', I see.” Lucifer smirks once again.

“Laugh all you want, asshole. Neither you nor I expected this to be easy. A couple of problems along the way are a predictable obstacle.”

“I just came to make sure that you intend to overcome these problems. I would hate to tear off your testicles for breaking my brothers’ hearts.” Lucifer sighs with fake sadness.

“Pff, I bet it’s your wet dream, jerk.” The demon’s threats make you smile. “But don’t rejoice just yet: I’ll do my best to fix everything.”

“Good. I have no interest in helping you, of course, but just out of curiosity: do you understand why each of them is upset?”

“Well, obviously, because I’m, apparently, a cheating bastard. But now, when I think about it…” You put a hand on your chin, diving into your thoughts. “It seems they are mad for different reasons, hm. Beel didn’t seem to mind that I paid attention to someone besides him. He was hurt only when I started to deny that I’m his boyfriend. And when I said that I just wanted to have some fun… He didn’t take that well.”

“You’re not careful with words, are you?” Lucifer frowns, crossing his arms.

“Oh, look who’s talking! Mr. 'Choose Between Me and Your Twin', you have quite the nerve!”

“…Fine. What about Mammon?”

“He was on the verge of calling me a slut, so I have a wild guess that the Avatar of Greed doesn’t like to share. I understand the root of the problem with both Beel and Mammon, but I have no idea how to fix it. I can’t suddenly become a loyal boyfriend for Mammon and promise Beel to be with him forever.”

“You’re overthinking this.” Lucifer shakes his head. “Demons don’t care much about the future. Why bother when you live for all eternity? We’re more inclined to live in the moment. At least, both Beel and Mammon aren’t planners, they enjoy things that are here and now. You don’t need to promise them a bright future together. Show that you care about them right now.”

“And then, after they get used to having me beside them, I go back to the Human world and we never see each other again. Happy end!” You jest but the current situation actually worries you. What is more cruel: rejecting their feelings from the start, or when it will be time to part ways? Both options are quite shitty, to be honest.

“One year is better than none. I’m sure that my brothers think the same.” Lucifer stares at you attentively. “But I’m surprised that you’re that worried about their feelings. I thought that you would do anything to fix everything and avoid any more headaches, and whatever happens after your departure happens. But you actually try to act in their interests.”

“What can I say? Your brothers are just so much more likeable than you, Lucifer. It’s hard not to treat them well. But with you, it’s the complete opposite situation.”

“Likewise, Castiel, likewise.” Lucifer sighs and gets up on his feet. “I think we are done here. I’ll leave it to your imagination how to apologize to my brothers. But make sure to act as fast as possible: the longer you wait, the more upset they become. And I won’t save you for the second time if either of them lose control over their demon forms.”

“…Okay,” you reply, watching how the demon slowly goes out of the door. It’s strange to speak with him about your love problems. And it’s especially strange to get some kind of support from Lucifer. He may have ulterior motives, but you have no idea what they can be.

The rest of the day goes by basically unnoticed. You managed to study a little, then go to RAD and study there a bit more. You didn’t have any joint classes with any of your guys, which was kind of timely. You didn’t want to know whether the rest of the brothers had heard Mammon’s screaming or not; and you had no intention to discuss anything with Simeon and Solomon. Or Luke. You wonder what kind of advice the little angel would give you. Maybe something about flowers, they seemed to work wonders with Solomon.  

You spent the whole day thinking about the means to apologize properly. Correct words are also important, but you decide that coming up with the whole speech in advance is meaningless. You always speak from the heart, without unnecessary overthinking. But the right gift… If you have something in addition to your words and promises, it may help you tremendously.

You decide to start with Beelzebub. What kind of present would he like? Food, obviously. A little bit too on the nose, but realistically, you have no other options. Beel’s second passion is Fangol, but you don’t know anything about it, so you can’t exploit it for your goals. So, food it is. The only problem is that you are not a good cook. And the Devildom’s ingredients are still alien to you. And you don’t know any recipes. And you don’t know what dish Beel would like. So yeah, there are a ton of problems with this plan, but you’ll have to do it.

You returned home earlier than other demons who were preoccupied with another student council meeting. So now you’re standing in the kitchen, looking around without a single thought in your mind. Cooking for you was always simply a way to get nutrients and live for another day. You’ve never tried to get good at it, you were fine with whatever you managed to prepare for the day. It was never a process you enjoyed, just a necessity. And now you need to prepare something that won’t poison Beel for the second time in the last two days.

Wait, what do you mean by "poison for the second time"? What happened?

Oh. Oooooh, perfect. Yeah, that’s exactly what you need. You smirk, feeling the warmth of Belphie’s mark. You wish you could control when the demon pops up in your head, but it’s a problem you’ll leave for another day.

Stop avoiding the question, moron. Did something happen with Beel?

You smile and remember the infamous breakfast in as much detail as possible. You stop the stream of your memories at the moment all the guys enter the portal, avoiding your conversation with Diavolo completely.

What was that about Diavolo? I’m in your head, you know. I can sense almost all your dumb thoughts.

You stubbornly focus on sad Beel from your memories, who had trouble eating for the whole day after Solomon’s cooking. Only your invitation to Hell’s Kitchen cheered him up. And now it is necessary to do everything possible to lift his spirits once again.

Fine, keep your dirty secrets. I bet you just spread your legs for the prince the second you got the chance. That’s just how you are. And you expect me to help with cooking? Seriously? I told you that I would do anything to keep you away from Beel. Or your rotten brain can’t store even this information? And it seems you finally fucked up seriously enough that you need to apologize, and simple words won’t do. Perfect. I won’t even have to do anything.

You sigh heavily. The chance of Belphie helping you was very slim, but you still had hope. It looks like you have to do everything on your own. Unless…

What?

You can ask Solomon for help.

What?!

His version about poisonous Human-world ingredients sounded logical. And since you’re going to cook local dishes, everything should be safe for Beel this time.

Are you fucking serious right now?!

You bet that Solomon will agree to help you. He seemed fascinated by Barbatos’ cooking the other day, and definitely wanted to recreate something similar.

He knocked out even Lucifer with his poisonous filth, and now you want to feed this to Beel again?! Are you trying to apologize or to kill him?!

It would be rude to judge Solomon’s capabilities based on one failed attempt. Maybe Human-world food is just not for demons. The sorcerer may have better luck with the Devildom’s ingredients…

FINE! Fine, I got it, fucking asshole. I’ll help. I can’t believe that you actually… You know, if it was about any other brother of mine, I would even be impressed. But you threatened to poison Beel. BEEL! You’re a monster.

Well, now that it’s all settled, it’s time to get to work.

Don’t ignore me, damn human!

You open the fridge and inspect all the ingredients, making sure to pronounce every name in your head so that Belphie knows what you have to work with. It seems that Levi went shopping eventually, but there is not much left already. Beel was at home the whole day, after all.

Luckily for you, Beel’s tastes are simple. Just prepare some burgers and put in as much cheese and meat as possible.

You expected something simple, but not to this degree. Almost makes you wonder if Belphie is trying to deceive you.

Fuck you! I’m telling you, it’s his favorite food, he orders it all the time. I doubt that he’ll like whatever you’ll manage to prepare, but I’m not lying. It’s crazy how he can be such a simpleton but also have the deepest soul of us all.

You have to agree, Beel is indeed amazing.

…Yeah…

Belphie behaved the whole time you were preoccupied with cooking. If you ignore endless insults and swearing, of course. He even helped you grill the meat of an unknown animal that you had found in the fridge and decided to use instead of usual beef. Belphie shouted at you for every wrong move, but in the end, it all worked out.

You observe quite a big pile of burgers with great satisfaction. They smell good, look good, and, probably, taste good.

I wouldn’t be so sure. It was you who cooked them, after all.

“Cas?...”

Your smug smile instantly disappears as you hear a familiar voice behind your back. You turn around and meet violet eyes. Holy shit, Beel looks rough. Like a puppy, that was kicked in the guts and tossed on the streets out of a warm house.

What kind of comparison is that?! Come on, do something about it! Or I’ll make your brain blow up like the last time!

“Hey, bud.” You smile sadly, keeping your distance. “I… Look, I prepared some burgers for you. I haven’t tried them yet, but they smell really good. Do you want to try some?”

“…For me?” Beel repeats your words with surprise.

“Yep. I feel bad for not eating the pancakes you made. Well… I feel bad for a lot of things, but that’s not something the burgers can fix, yeah?” You scratch the back of your head nervously. “I just wanted to ask if you could hear me out one more time. I already said plenty today, I know. But there is something important I want to add.”

“…Okay.” Beel nods uncertainly, tensing up when you try to approach him closer. You stop the moment you see that your actions make him uncomfortable.

“Look I… I had no right to decide the nature of our relationships on my own. I intended to discuss everything with you, but it all went to shit before I even got the chance to start. The way it all played out… It was cruel. I acted like a complete jerk. And I’m truly sorry for hurting you. Maybe you won’t believe me, but you’re literally the last person in all three realms that I want to hurt.” You smile sadly. It hurts to look into Beel’s sad eyes, but you have to do it. He needs to see that you mean every word. For some reason, the warmth from Belphie’s pact mark feels almost comforting. “You know, it’s kind of unreal how fast you got into my heart. I’ve never in my life let my guard down so easily. You just… walked in, like you were supposed to be there, like it’s natural. Like it was meant to be. I don’t believe in shit like soulmates or fate, but damn, Beel, you’re just… One of a kind.”

You let out a soft laugh, diving deep into memories.

“Remember how we first met? You were munching something stinky and nasty, and you admitted right away that you fucking ate humans. And I didn’t give a shit, in the slightest. Back then, I thought that I was just mesmerized by your abs and beautiful eyes. But no, it was much deeper than that… And then, the more we spent time together, the worse the situation became. I tried to resist it, maybe not as persistently as I should have, but still. Attempts were made. And they all failed. Because you’re just that amazing, Beel. And it’s fucking scary.” You smirk, meeting Beel’s confused gaze. “Yeah, buddy, you’re really scary, you know that? And not because of your tremendous strength or insane body, that can gulp me down without a trace. You wrapped me around your finger with such ease that it’s almost crazy. Even more so: I willingly allowed this to happen. And now, every time you make your sad puppy eyes, I get this fucking urge to do anything to make you smile again. That’s not normal. Not for me, Beel. I know that I’m not talking much about my past, but believe me when I say this: I’ve always put myself first. Always. My happiness, my prosperity, my well-being – these were the only things that mattered to me. But you, Beel… You’re a fucking anomaly. You don’t care about my selfish nature. You just approached my imaginary pedestal, that was mine my whole life, and started destroying it piece by piece. And you know what?”

You decide to try to approach Beel for the second time. This time, the demon allows it. You take his hand in yours, gently squeezing it.

“I’m pretty sure that if I allow this to continue, if I decide to take the next step and call you my boyfriend… My pedestal will be in shambles almost immediately. And I’m really scared of it, Beel. Because all we have is one year, and only if I get lucky and manage to survive. I don’t want to… get used to you, okay? It’s easier to avoid any kind of attachment, especially when you’re so fucking addicting. I’ve never felt anything like this, so I don’t know how hard it will be to move on after I return to the Human World. I’m sorry, but I’m still selfish. And I don’t want to get hurt for the sake of one year, even if it will be the best year of my entire life.”

You sigh and finally let yourself lower your gaze. You were determined to keep eye contact for the duration of your whole monolog, and you succeeded. It was hard, Beel’s puppy eyes are still an unstoppable force, but at least you have hope that Beel understood your point of view.

“So I just need to find a way to travel freely between the Devildom and the Human world, got it.” Beel nods seriously.

He didn’t understand shit.

Fuck, Beel, no…

“Beel, I don’t think you…” You make an attempt to explain yourself once more, but the demon interrupts you:

“I understand. But I think it’s you who doesn’t understand…” Beel puts his second hand on your cheek, making you look at him again. “I’m also selfish. Maybe not in the same way you are, but I’m still a demon. And when I want something or someone, I won’t give up that easily. I want you. I want to be your boyfriend. If I need to find a way to get into the Human world for that, I’ll do this. Maybe I’ll manage to find a way before your year here ends. Maybe we can go there together, just for a little bit, and find Belphie.” Beelzebub smiles brightly, clearly happy that he came up with such a wonderful idea. “I want you to meet him. He’s amazing, you’ll love him. And I’m sure that he’ll like you too, because you’re also amazing.”

For fuck’s sake. I think I’ll go and smash my head against the wall a couple of times. This is just unbelievable.

Maybe for the first time ever, you agree with Belphie.

“Be-Mhm!” You make another attempt, but you’ve always knew: it’s pointless to argue with Beel. He will win anyway. This time, he wins by simply shutting your mouth with a kiss. A dishonest tactic that he definitely should use more often. You melt instantly, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of Beel’s hands around you.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

But, of course, his fucking brother is as vigilant as always. You twitch and back off, trying to focus on the damn pact mark, and shut Belphie up.

“Cas?” Beel sounds worried, but you don’t respond; you need to block Belphie no matter what.

You succeed even faster than the last time, quite a promising feat. You need to learn how to use the power of the pacts as soon as possible. If not for survivability, then for being able to make out with Beel in peace.

“Sorry, human thing. Again.” You sigh, returning your attention to Beelzebub. “Let’s… think about each other’s words, for now. Don’t know about you, but I definitely need to think everything through.”

“Thank you for talking to me.” Beel smiles, hugging you and pressing you against his chest. “I’ll find a way for us to see each other, I promise. Don’t worry about it.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about, Beel, but it doesn’t matter.” You sigh. Well, it seems that you’ll soon have a boyfriend. For the first time ever. And when there’s one, there’s ten. Others won’t allow Beel to be the only one with such a high status. You have to make amends with Mammon and talk with Levi before Beel manages to reach his goal. You’re not so sure about others; who knows what they have on their minds? But Mammon and Levi are the least… stable, so you need to focus on them first. Gods, you just wanted to have sex with hot demons, and now you need to build relationships with them? Life can be so cruel. “Okay, Beel, I have to go now. Try out the hamburgers I prepared, they should be good.”

“You won’t join?” Beel asks, doing his best not to sound too sad.

“I’ll take one, just because I’m curious. But I can’t stay. I need… I need to speak with Mammon now.” You attentively observe Beel’s reaction to your words.

“Right, you really should.” Beel nods calmly, already munching one of your burgers. He then suddenly stops and looks at the food in his hands with surprise.

“What? Don’t tell me that it’s as bad as Solomon’s cooking,” you jest, taking one of the burgers.

“No, they are delicious. Thank you. It’s just…” Beel has a complex expression on his face, like he can’t decide whether he wants to frown or smile. “You added fried eggs with ghost pepper. That’s how Belphie likes his burgers.”

You feel a light shiver along your spine, but you manage to keep a neutral face. “Well, fried eggs are rather common in Human-world burgers, and I just took the first seasoning I saw. But I guess you were right: me and Belphie might get along if we have such similar tastes.”

Beel smiles widely, not a hint of frowning left. Okay, that was close.

“I can’t wait for you to meet each other. I think I should start working on it right now. If you need me, I’ll be in the library.” Beel takes the plate full of burgers and joyfully marches away.

“Be careful with books, or Satan will demolish you and half of the House!” You shout as he leaves.

Okay, one more to go. You can do this, Cas.

You look at the burger in your hands, not feeling even slightly hungry. Then you look up. Has Lucifer come home already? You decide to risk it. This fucker doesn’t deserve your gratitude, but he helped you. Kind of. So, after putting the food on the plate, you go to the attic.

You intended to just push the hamburger under the metallic door and leave immediately, but, to your surprise, Belphie was sitting on the floor right next to the bars.

“What are you doing here, human?” The demon frowns, moves his legs closer to the body, and hugs his knees. He looks like a moody teen in this pose, which can be considered cute, but this innocent look is a complete lie. You need to be careful, the fact that he can’t hurt you directly thanks to the pact doesn’t mean that he can’t find a way to screw you over.

“Did you tell me to add fried eggs and ghost pepper on purpose?” you ask, observing the demon.

“…No. I didn’t think about it. It’s just the way I usually cook, so I repeated the algorithm to you. Did Beel become suspicious, or something?”

“A little bit. And just so you know, I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t care,” Belphie sighs. “There is no point in getting in your way while I’m still locked up here. So you can relax, for now. Or don’t relax, do whatever you want.” The demon sounds almost depressed. Which is not surprising given his situation, but still, the face of his enemy should’ve filled him with energy a bit.

“Okay, you have five minutes to tell me what happened. Then I’ll have to go.” You sit on the floor near the door and push the plate inside Belphie’s room. “Here, get some fat on your butt. You look like a skeleton.”

“Fuck you.” Belphie quietly growls, but enthusiasm is severely lacking. “Why would I tell you anything?”

“Because it’s connected to either me or Beel. Or both. You were totally fine earlier,” you insist.

“Fine… I don’t remember when was the last time I was 'fine', human.” Belphie’s face twists in anger. “I have to sit here and observe how the treacherous human plays with my twin’s feelings. Again! It’s just some kind of fucked-up joke…”

“Again? What do you mean?”

“Beel is doing the same thing Lilith did – falling in love with a human. The stupidest thing an angel or a demon can do. And I can’t do anything! I’m stuck in this attic when my brother is in danger!” Belphie exclaims, staring at you with hate.

“I am not a danger to Beel. Never was and never will be.” You respond seriously. It’s always useful to learn more about Lilith, especially since she (or somebody who looks like her) haunts your dreams from time to time. But you’ll leave this mystery for later. The dead sister is not going anywhere, while Mammon can do something very stupid. You need to get to him instead of talking with Belphie. But you stay, who knows why.

“Bullshit! Humans cannot be trusted! Lilith is dead because of you!”

“No, baby boy, it’s your fault,” you calmly say, enjoying Belphie’s shocked face. He freezes, staring wide-eyed at you.

“W-What? What did you just say?”

“I didn’t say anything unusual, just repeated your own thoughts,” you smirk. “I can’t get into your head, and you are a pretty good actor, but damn. Sometimes you’re an open book, Belphie, no matter how cunning you try to be.”

“Why did you…?”

“Beel told me about the day Lilith died. How he saved you instead of her. I felt pity for Beel, but never thought about your part of the story. Must be hard to be a survivor when someone dies instead of you.”

“You… You don’t know anything!” Belphie’s lips tremble, but not from anger.

“Yeah, I’ve never been in a situation like this. Cause I don’t have a family at all, aren’t I the lucky bastard?” You smirk again, hiding your sadness deep within. “But sometimes people who are not familiar with your predicaments see the situation clearer than you. It rarely happens, but it’s possible. Beel felt guilty for failing to save Lilith. You feel guilt for surviving instead of your sister. But you prefer to hide it, hating humans instead. Which, as a human, I find kind of lame, to be honest. It would be understandable for the first hundreds of years or so. But you still didn’t reflect on it, seriously?”

You sigh, looking at the demon behind bars. Belphie was changing his expression from rage to almost crying throughout your conversation, but now he just looks lost. Like he has no idea what he is supposed to feel.

“Look, I’m just a treacherous human with no morals, conscience, and whatever else you believe in. But even for me it’s kind of obvious: Lilith’s death was nobody’s fault, not yours, not Beel’s, and not the fault of the whole of humanity. I have no idea what that lover did to her to make you hate humans so much, but don’t judge the entire species based on one individual. I mean, imagine if I judged demons based on you!” You jest, noticing Belphie’s pissed-off look. Good, you don’t want to see his tears. Why? Well, he must look really ugly when he sobs. That’s the only reason.

“…Fuck you.”

“Damn, I’m serious, you need to eat more. Even your insults are kind of half-baked. But my burgers are not, so eat up!”

“What was that? An attempt to joke? You didn’t even bake anything.” Belphie winces, but you notice a hint of a smile. Though it disappears in an instant.

“Smartass. Eat before it gets cold. Later, baby boy!” You get up and head to the stairs, waving as you walk.

“Stop calling me that!” Belphie growls, but you ignore him.

You focus on the mission at hand, mentally preparing for Mammon’s hysterics. Except when you get to his room, it’s awfully quiet. You’re not sure what kind of noise you expected to hear, but not complete silence.

You knock at the door for several minutes straight, call for him, but you don’t get any response. It’s kind of unsettling. Mammon is supposed to be loud and obnoxious, it’s his thing. You would think that he just went somewhere, but he must be at home, Lucifer basically ordered it.

You sigh and yank the door handle with frustration, turning around to go to your room. And the door opens.

Wonderful, the door was open all along. Now you feel stupid.

You slowly get inside the room; it’s so dark in here that you have to step very carefully. The only light source is a small lamp near the bed. That’s where you find Mammon: lying in his clothes, wearing headphones, and staring at the wall. He doesn’t notice you, fully immersed in sad songs on his headphones. Yeah, that definitely looks like severe heartbreak. And it’s your job to fix it.

What would the Avatar of Greed want? Something valuable, of course. Unfortunately for you, you’re broke. You have nothing that could be considered valuable by Mammon, so you have to improvise. And that’s what you’re going to do, but, to be honest, your plan is very far from being ideal. Or reasonable. Or sane. But that’s just your style at this point.

So you slowly lie next to Mammon, giving him a second to realize that someone is in the bed with him. He tenses up and turns off the music, but the headphones are still on him. Mammon doesn’t turn around, preferring to stare at the wall instead of staring at you. So you have to talk with his back.

“Hi,” you greet him softly, putting a hand on his back. He shivers but doesn’t move away from your touch. Good. You decide to act bolder by moving closer to him and hugging the demon from the back. He even lets you push one arm under him, so that you can fully envelop him in your embrace. Mammon continues to tremble, but he stays silent. “I came to apologize. I fucked up, obviously. This is a common occurrence, but this time I hurt you in the process. And this is unacceptable. No matter how much I enjoy teasing you, I never want to hurt you. I’m sorry for being such a moron. I truly am. I could spend the whole night telling you how much you mean to me. But that’s not what you need. So I came to prove my feelings to you through my actions.”

You press your body closer to Mammon, enjoying his warmth. Your hand slowly removes the headphones from his ears, so you could lean closer and whisper to him:

“I came to appease my Avatar of Greed by giving you my biggest treasure. It’s not some shiny trinket, but it’s endlessly valuable to me. And I’m ready to give it to you, only you. Because I trust you. Because you already gave me the same thing earlier, even if it wasn’t voluntarily.” Your hand gently caresses Mammon’s hair, trying to relax him. “I’m giving you my freedom, Mon. Three days of complete control over me. You say to clean your room – I'll do it. You order me to punch Lucifer – I'll do it. No matter what your desires are, I’ll do it.”

Mammon immediately turns around to face you, still staying in your embrace.

“A-are ya sure? That’s…” The demon frowns, looking at you. “If ya expect me to act as noble as you did and not use this power, ya better take your words back, right now. Because I'll use it. If ya allow me this… I won’t be able to hold back.”

“I don’t want you to. Have your fun, you deserve it after all the shit I’ve put you through. Just… Don’t force me to do anything sexual against my will, okay? If you’re going to do something like that, I want to have the right to say no. Only for this. Nothing else.”

“Okay, but still… One last time: are ya sure?” Mammon… no, the Avatar of Greed stares at you, impatiently waiting for your decision. His shining, blue eyes look more inhuman than ever before. You offered him to have you. To own you. Even if it’s only for three days, that’s a long term. The Avatar of Greed will make sure to make every minute with his new possession count. Only his, nobody else’s.

“Yes, I’m sure, Mon. I trust you. Even if you’re mad at me, even if you can control my every move, I will trust you. Because I believe that you care about me just as much as I care about you.” You smile, hugging him tighter.

You smile, but it’s all an act. You will obey as you promised, but your plan doesn’t seem so ideal anymore. Or reasonable. Or sane. Because obsessive sparks in the eyes of the Avatar of Greed make you uneasy. Because his wide smile is a little too happy.

Because maybe you should resist the sin instead of indulging it, even if the second option seems so much easier.

Tomorrow is a new day.  

Chapter Text

I want you to be the one that's on my mind
On my mind, on my mind
I want you to be there on a Monday night
Tuesday night, every night
Are you gonna be the one that's on my mind?
3-6-5, all the time
I want you to be the one to stay
And give me the night and day

Zedd & Katy Perry - 365

There it is. This nightmare again. You’re pinned to the floor and can’t get up. Can’t escape. Then comes the pain. What hurt the most: your body or your dignity? You can’t remember. But it doesn’t matter, because it all ends with fire, both in your dream and in real life. You’ve always had a fascination with fire, with its raw power and ruthlessness. Truly a marvel of nature. It brings just as many blessings to the world, as it does calamities. Balance.

…Finally, the end of the dream is near. The fire is getting stronger; screams are getting louder and more desperate; and your smile is getting wider with each plead for mercy. Fire became your personal symbol of freedom, your redemption, but it cursed you with long years of suffering in return. Still, if you’ve got a chance, you would have done the same just to hear your enemy scream in agony once again.

It is a nightmare, yes. But the finale is always so satisfying that despite your groaning and screaming throughout the night, you wake up with a smile. Once your mind fully returns to the real world, you remember what happened.

You remember your promise to Mammon. You may come to regret your decision down the line, but so far, nothing bad has happened to you. To be honest, you partially expected this whole thing to go sexual as soon as Mammon got control over you. You were ready for it, perhaps even wanted it a little, despite you usually being in charge. It’s nice to change the perspective from time to time, as long as it’s done voluntarily. And good, steamy sex can do wonders for a bickering couple. You’d make sure to give it all to make Mammon forget all his complaints. 

But the demon surprised you. As soon as you agreed to proceed with your crazy plan, Mammon jumped off the bed, ordered you to sleep in his room, hopped in the car, and drove away. That was the moment when you started regretting your decisions. Mammon finally got his “boyfriend” all to himself, but instead of immediately getting laid, he preferred to spend the whole fucking night who knows where. Who even does that? Is his lust for you already gone? If so, then instead of three days of endless fucking, you’re in for something entirely different.

And that made you uneasy.

He was absent the whole night. You tried to wait for him at first, but eventually gave up and went to sleep. It felt strange to lie in Mammon’s bed without him. And the fact that you were sleeping alone skyrocketed the chances of the nightmares appearing. A living being next to you would scare off all the horrors, but it seemed that luck wasn’t on your side that day.

But the night is finally over, and it’s time to meet a new day. Though, in hindsight, you should’ve stayed in bed instead.

You get up and look around the room, noticing that the car is already in its spot. Mammon must be around here somewhere. You hear a commotion from the closet, so you head there. Mammon’s closet may not be that impressive compared to Asmo’s, but it’s still the same size as your bedroom. Tons of expensive clothes, shoes, and accessories fill numerous shelves. Some of them still have their price tags on, which means that the demon just hoards all this stuff without actually wearing it.

Mammon is currently preoccupied with rummaging through shiny shopping bags, full of even more new stuff. Guess that’s what you do when you’re disgustingly rich. Well, Mammon’s wealth is quite a debatable topic, but that’s beside the point. You take your time watching the demon, he looks like a kid who opens presents for Christmas. The Avatar of Greed genuinely enjoys looking through his new belongings, and it’s kind of endearing. This scene would be even more wholesome if not for a giant, black suitcase lying near the demon. It looks completely out of place next to the colorful shopping bags. Mammon didn’t open it yet, but the irrational part of you wants to just toss the suitcase out of the window, because this thing looks like it has a bomb inside or something similarly threatening.

You shake off unwelcome fears and approach Mammon.

“Where have you been the whole night? The three-day countdown has already started, you know. So you just wasted a good chunk of it.” You cross your arms, looking attentively at the demon. As soon as he hears your voice, he swiftly turns around and greets you with a wide grin:

“Hey! Ya already awake! Great. I didn’t waste anythin’, it’s all important stuff, Cas. I wanted to wake ya up, but kinda lost track of time. Go and freshen up or somethin’, we have a lotta stuff to do!” Mammon looks rather cheerful, even more than usual. You can’t be certain that he forgave you already, but he looks better than yesterday. “By the way, Beel carried all your shit to your room, I met him earlier. This dummy even put everything in your closet, so if ya need anythin’, it’s all there.”

“Okay, great.” You nod, still staring at the black suitcase. “Mammon, what is?...”

“Hey! Did ya not hear me or something? Go to your room and take a shower. I thought you’re supposed to follow my orders, no?” Mammon scoffs, frowning in irritation.

…Well, that’s definitely something you have to get used to. Just resist the urge to break his nose, Cas, and it’s all gonna be fine. After all, it was your bright idea. Maybe you’re not as suitable for a submissive role as you thought you were. You thought that you’d manage playing the part for only three days, but you’re not even 10 minutes in, and Mammon is already getting on your nerves.

You turn around, ready to “follow the orders,” but the demon stops you once again.

“Hey! Do ya not know how you’re supposed to answer your Master? I didn’t hear 'Yes, Sir', Cas. No, better say 'Yes, Boss', come on!” Mammon stares at you impatiently.

“If you want me to do something, say it aloud, Mon. I can’t read minds.” You sigh, trying to calm down.

“Hey! Enough with the back talkin’! And I told ya to call me Boss!”

“Yes. Boss.” You breathe out through your teeth and march away as fast as possible. Holy fuck, was he always so insufferable? Or is it how he shows that he’s still angry at you? It will be the longest three days of your life.

You turn on the shower the second you get to your room. Warm water helps you gather your thoughts just enough to make peace with yourself. You should view it as a challenge, not as a humiliation of your dignity. And when these three days are over… You smirk: Mammon won’t be able to sit for several days after you’re done with him. Yes, this fantasy will definitely keep you going.

After the whole morning routine is done, you leave the bathroom with a towel on your hips. It’s time to dress up and return to your tyrant. You open the closet with a warm smile: Beel’s help was very timely, you should thank him later. But you freeze when you see what’s been waiting for you inside the closet.

It looks like some kind of wild animal went on a rampage here: every single piece of clothing is torn up with claws, maybe even fangs. You didn’t expect this, but the sight of your completely destroyed wardrobe made you actually upset. You got used to it, it really suited you. And now everything is gone. Again. Neither Barbatos’ formal costume nor new uniforms survived the encounter with a mysterious beast. Damn, Asmo will be even more devastated than you, he was really proud of the stuff he chose.  

“Hey.” Mammon walks through the door casually, with a smug smile on his face. He carries a pile of new clothes in his hands. And a black suitcase. “I thought that ya could use a rebranding. Here, these are much better than whatever Asmo bought ya. Try it on.” He tosses everything on your bed, leaving only a suitcase in his hands.

“So that is… your doing?” you ask quietly, squeezing the handle of the closet. Don’t punch him. Don’t punch him. Don’t punch him.

“I think I allowed ya to walk around in Asmo’s clothes long enough, don’t ya think?” Mammon smirks angrily. “What? Ya didn’t think that it bothered me that you wore Asmo’s shit instead of mine? Of course ya didn’t; when have ya even been thinking about me, huh?”

“I didn’t think about it because you’ve never told me, Mon.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, taking several deep breaths. When will your bad luck with the wardrobe end? Nobody knows.

“I don’t have to tell ya such obvious things, Cas. And don’t forget to call me Boss. Now put this on!” Mammon sharply points at the pile on your bed.

“Yes, Boss.” You decide to ignore your emotions as long as you can, hiding them deep within. Things will go south when you eventually blow up with fury, but you don’t have much of a choice. Either postpone the riot or give in to your rage here and now. Both options suck but you made a promise to follow the rules. And you’ll have to do it as long as you can. So you obediently start dressing up. Even Mammon’s reaction to your naked body doesn’t amuse you. The demon heavily blushes and turns his head away to avoid looking at you, but he still stays nearby.

Mammon bought clothes that were very similar to those destroyed during Beel’s rampage. The demon remembered what you liked and what measurements you have, but instead of feeling grateful, you are burning with irritation. Once you’re done, you straighten up and silently wait for the next command.

Mammon turns back to you, examining the clothes on your body with great satisfaction. Then, he puts a suitcase on the table nearby and opens it.

“Ya know,” he says without looking at you, focusing on the contents of the suitcase instead. “I’m not actually mad at ya. Everythin’ that’s worth somethin’ always gets attention. Like, you wouldn’t blame the treasure for attractin’ folks who want to get it, would ya? Nah, it’s me who is to blame, Cas. I’m the Avatar of Greed, after all. I’m supposed to snatch everythin’ I want in the blink of an eye. But I hesitated when it came to you. I should’ve made it clear to everyone who ya belong to. But don’t worry: I won’t repeat the same mistake.”

The demon turns the suitcase toward you, so you can see what’s inside as well. There, on the red velvet lining, you see elegant handcuffs, a leather whip, a riding crop, different types of gags… And from the looks of it, there is a hidden second layer; you don’t want to know what kind of things are there. You forcibly stop yourself from thinking in that direction, focusing on the star of this cute set: a huge, golden collar with the letter “M” engraved in the center. Different jewels are tastefully implemented into the collar; it looks objectively beautiful. Which does not make the idea of wearing it around your neck any more appealing.

“That’s what I’ve been doin’ all night, Cas. A special order for the Great Mammon, they’ve made this collar in record time. That particular place is known for such things, so I decided to take the whole set. But don’t worry: I won’t whip ya or anythin’.” Mammon smiles widely, takes the golden collar, and walks toward you. “Look, it even has a little ring on the bottom. I can attach a chain to it to make sure that you won’t run off with any of my brothers. Cool, isn’t it?”

“…I’m obligated to follow your orders, Boss. So I think that the collar is rather unnecessary.” You take a few steps back as the demon approaches you. The thought of wearing this thing does not spark joy. You start regretting your decisions once again.

“Don’t ya get it? It’s a message. Both to them and to you. Now, sit down, I’ll put it on ya.” Mammon impatiently puts a hand on your shoulder and applies some pressure, making you sit down on the bed. He starts attaching the collar to your neck, joyfully murmuring to you: “If ya thought that we’re gonna go to RAD, forget it. We’re done wastin’ time in that shithole. Right now, we’re gonna join breakfast; otherwise, Lucifer will become suspicious. But then, we’ll hop in the car and drive away. I’ve already prepared a spot for us. They’ll never find us, and I’ll have you all to myself.”

“Yeah, just don’t forget that we agreed to only three days, okay?” You respond nervously, feeling like the demon is starting to forget about the limitations of your agreement. But you don’t worry too much: you seriously doubt that Mammon is capable of masterfully hiding from others, especially Lucifer. So even if he attempts to kidnap you, it won’t take long for others to find you both. You just hope that it’s not just your wishful thinking, Mammon was always a dark horse when it came to his powers. He doesn’t look or act like the second in strength, but you shouldn’t take his usual attitude for granted. His powers can come into play very unexpectedly, but you hope that it won’t happen this time. Otherwise, you’re fucked.

“Yeah-yeah, I remember. Damn, ya look good.” Mammon sighs dreamily, inspecting your look. His fingers slide along the collar, caressing the gold and gems. It feels strange to have so much weight around your neck, but it’s not as uncomfortable as you thought it would be. You don’t like the idea of wearing a fucking collar with Mammon’s initials on it, but a promise is a promise. It seems you’ll have to constantly remind yourself that it was originally your idea.

“Thanks, but to be honest…” You decide to try to ruin Mammon’s plans by simply seducing him. He may be drunk with power over you, but it doesn’t make him any more resistant to your charms. You hope, at least. So instead of letting him do whatever he wants, you grab Mammon’s waist and pull him closer, making him sit on your lap. The demon doesn’t have time to protest before he gets snuggled against your body. “I think gold looks better on you. How about we explore that suitcase in more detail? I bet there is a lot of stuff that will look good on you as well.”

“Shit…” Mammon quietly hisses, letting you slowly caress his back. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, trying to regain control. “Don’t think that you are in charge here. I’m the Boss now, I’m… Eek!” The demon adorably squeaks as you lightly bite his neck, kissing the spot afterward. It seems that your strategy is working. If you keep this up, maybe you’ll manage to regain control over the situation. You prepare to drop Mammon on the bed and trap him underneath you. But as you’re about to do it, he escapes your embrace and jumps on his feet. “Enough, Cas! Fuck, why do ya always have to melt my brain like that?! Not this time, ya hear me?” He tries to sound irritated, but his red face spoils the effect. “It was your idea, so stop tryin’ to back off now! Ya gave me these three days, so it’s all fair and square!”

“I agree, but you started to be really creepy about it, Boss.” You frown, moving your gaze to the closet. “I don’t mind the collar and whatnot, but you destroyed my belongings.”

“Stop makin’ me sound like the bad guy! I bought ya new shit to replace the old crap from Asmo. And instead of makin’ ya start a fight with Lucifer or some shit, I planned the whole vacation in a secret place for the two of us! I treat ya better than you’ve ever treated me!” Mammon scowls, waving his arms around expressively.

“Come on, you don’t really mean that, do you?” You say it softly as you get up and approach the demon. You put a hand on his shoulder and look him in the eyes. “I get it that you’re angry at me, but don’t say that I don’t treat you well. I can be a douchebag at times, but I’ve always cared about you. And I know that you know it.”

Mammon lowers his gaze and stares at the floor, muttering something so quietly that you can barely hear separate words: “…flirtin’ with everybody…not even a single compliment or whatever…only jokin’ around…how am I supposed to feel…”  But before you can ask him to repeat, he raises his head and shakes off your hand from his shoulder. “Okay, that’s it! New rule! No talkin’ unless I ask ya anythin’, okay? And no touchin’, ya can’t just grab me and start bitin’ my neck, gotcha? I’m tired of bein’ the only one who is losin’ my mind, so all your usual crap is banned! You can answer.”

“Um, okay, Boss,” you reply, very confused by the sudden restrictions on your rights. You decide to treat it like a little win, despite everything. Mammon clearly struggles to keep up with the leading role, and he is threatened by everything you do, including simple speaking. The poor boy is not suited for the role of the Boss, but he’ll never admit it. Well, it seems you’ll have to show him his place.

After that, you finally go to join others at breakfast, though you were not looking forward to seeing the brothers’ reaction to your new accessory.

“Finally, I was about to… What a hell is that?!” Asmo interrupts his casual greeting as soon as he lays his eyes on you. The rest of the brothers have similar reactions.

“W-w-w-what is going on?” Levi jumps on his feet, his gaze is glued to the golden collar.

“Cas? Do you need help?” Beel frowns and slowly puts down a sandwich he was eating seconds ago.

“Hm, how interesting…” Satan puts a hand on his chin, examining the situation. He doesn’t sound as pissed off as others, but he still looks rather glum for some reason.

Lucifer doesn’t say anything, silently staring at your neck. Is that you or his eyes shine brighter than usual? Must be your imagination.

Since your personal tyrant ordered you to keep your mouth shut, you can only give everybody a weak smile and sit down at the table.

“Whatcha doin’, losers?!” Mammon cheerfully greets his beloved family. “Guess what? Cas is all mine now!”

“WHAT?!” The brothers’ uproar is immediate and very loud. You have no desire to participate in Mammon’s schemes, so you silently toss a bun at his head.

“Hey! That’s not how you treat your Boss, Cas! Damn you… Fine, I’ll tell them.” Mammon twists his face at your complete disrespect of his persona. “So me and Cas made a deal. He’s gonna do everythin’ I say for three days. Which means that ya can’t even lay a finger on him while the deal lasts, gotcha? Actually… Cas, new order! I forbid ya to even look at them! No talkin’, no lookin’, no touchin’!”

“Yes, Boss,” you reply with no enthusiasm, focusing on today’s breakfast. It’s Lucifer’s turn, so it should be really tasty. With Belphie trapped in the attic, the schedule of people responsible for cooking is a whole mess. Luckily, nobody ever asked you to do your part instead of the missing brother, so you get to enjoy the demonic cooking without any responsibilities. One of a few perks of living in the Devildom.

“Is this some kind of joke?” Levi hisses at Mammon, clearly on the verge of starting a fight.

“Tiel may be bound by this stupid deal, but we are not, hon.” Asmo threateningly gets up from his seat, his horns start appearing. “I offer to beat Mammon up so badly that he’ll lose consciousness… Hm, let’s see… For at least three days, I’d say.”

“I’m in.” Beel fully supports the idea, slowly rising as well.

“W-wait! It was his idea, but you want to beat me up for it?!” Mammon points at you, taking a few steps back. But when the greedy demon looks you in the eyes, his attitude suddenly changes. He straightens up, trying to look more intimidating. “Ya know what? Bring it on! Ya think ya can beat me? Not in a million years!”

“Guys, wait.” Satan’s calm voice stops everyone just in time. Lucifer prefers not to intrude, sipping his morning tea with an unreadable expression on his face. “I think this deal between Castiel and Mammon can actually be a good thing.”

“Wha-? Are you insane?!” Levi screeches, already partially transformed into his demon form.

“Think about it: three full days with Mammon would already be insufferable for every living being. Now imagine that this being has to obey Mammon’s every order.” Satan smirks, looking at everyone with amusement. “I guarantee you, after these three days Castiel will be so sick of him that he’ll never look at Mammon again. One less rival to worry about, right?”

“But I don’t like the idea of leaving Cas to deal with Mammon on his own. We should help.” Beel seriously looks at you, frowning at the sight of the collar.

“Tiel, honey, please take the piece of the cherry pie if you have everything under control and you don’t need our help. Otherwise, we’ll have to intervene.” Asmo comes closer and puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey! No touchin’!” Mammon instantly protests.

“Piss off, Mammon.” Levi hisses, attentively watching how you take a piece of deliciously-looking cherry pie. He sighs: “Fine, if you’re sure. But let any of us know if something goes wrong, okay?”

“You meant to say 'when something goes wrong', Levi.” Satan grins, enjoying the show.

The rest of the breakfast goes as smoothly as it possibly can after such a conversation. Mammon drags you to his room as soon as you finish eating. He settles you on the couch, turns on some kind of action movie for you to watch, and starts running around collecting all the stuff you’ll need for the “vacation”.

“Do you need help?” You offer awkwardly, technically breaking one of Mammon’s rules.

“Nah, I’ve got this. Just relax and watch the movie, it’s crazy good,” Mammon replies while tossing stuff into the trunk of his car.

You can only sigh and return your attention to the film. It’s you who are supposed to do all this stuff instead of Mammon. It was the whole point of your offer in the first place. A little bit of manual, maybe sexual, labor with the purpose of making up for your shortcomings. You meant to apologize by letting Mammon have fun at your expense. But so far, all you needed to do is accept significant changes in your wardrobe and be slightly quieter than usual. Mammon doesn’t seem to want to use your deal to its full potential, and you are not sure whether you like it or not. You obviously don’t want to be used like a damn slave. But on the other hand, you need to make the demon feel satisfied by the end of these three days. Otherwise, it will be a rather crappy apology. Will a couple of days of shared vacation be enough? You don’t think so, considering that your company is a very questionable pleasure by itself.

But it looks like Mammon doesn’t share your sentiments. The demon is running around like a newlywed preparing for the honeymoon. He sings something under his nose while checking if he took enough snacks for the road; making calls to make sure that the hotel prepared the room for the two of you; gently folding new shirts he bought for you…

…Okay, it seems that you overcomplicated things. Like a lot. You were so deep in your machinations that you failed to realize one very simple thing: Mammon is literally head over heels for you. All you needed to do was hug him, tell how much you like him, and praise the demon as much as your vocabulary would let you. He’d forgive you without all these deals. Well, it’s too late to take your words back, Mammon won’t let you do it. But still, that obvious revelation hits you like a ton of bricks. You could just talk without any bribes or presents. Because he likes you that much. Because he’s in love with you, that’s what he said. Stupid demon.

You’re also stupid for feeling all warm and fuzzy from watching Mammon joyfully prepare for the road.

***

“Come on, this song is lame!” Mammon whines, trying to change the tune, but you don’t let him.

“This song rocks, I don’t make the rules. Actually, I do. I declare this song the best song of all time, and we’ll listen to it on repeat till we arrive at that secret hideout of yours.” You grin, turning up the volume.

Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime
His sister had another one, she paid it for a lime
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank 'em both up
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank 'em both up
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank 'em both up

“Ya can’t be serious…” Mammon sighs, trying to pay attention to the road. He stops complaining only when you start to sing along to the song, genuinely enjoying every line of the dumb lyrics.

She put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor
Woke him up and said, "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take
I say, doctor, to relieve this bellyache?
I say, doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take
I say, doctor, to relieve this bellyache?"

You slightly nudge the demon, encouraging him to join you. Mammon listens to your voice with a wide smile. This song doesn’t require any extraordinary vocal abilities, but he takes pleasure in listening to your singing all the same. He finally decides to give up and now there are two voices that pierce the silence of the highway.

You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning

It didn’t take long for Mammon to grow tired of his own rules. It felt stupid to make you sit silently in the car, so he allowed you to speak once again. And it didn’t take long for you to exploit this power, taking over the stash of snacks, music, and other conveniences. You would take the wheel as well, but you didn’t think that Mammon was mentally prepared to let you drive his dearest Demonio 666 Lexura. Yet. You’ll get behind the wheel of this beauty eventually, for sure.

It was a long trip, but a pleasant one. You were ready to praise Mammon for choosing such a distant place to hide from Lucifer until you saw where you actually arrived. You are met by the blinding, colorful lights of a never-ending carnival for sinners of all kinds. Countless casinos, restaurants, love-hotels, and clubs fill the streets of this distant part of the land, far away from the watchful eyes of Diavolo and Lucifer. It is heaven for gamblers, party animals and chronic lovers. And the first spot Lucifer would check as soon as he realizes that you two are gone.

Well, at least the place is huge, maybe it will be easy to hide from him here. You don’t actually believe in it, but there is no use in fearing the inevitable. Sometimes denial is the only solution. So you just relax and let Mammon demonstrate to you the disgustingly expensive hotel suite where you’ll spend the next couple of days.

The hotel suite consists of a set of several rooms, basically embodying an apartment, with a style very similar to Mammon’s room back in the House of Lamentation. It’s a completely different kind of richness in comparison to Diavolo’s castle, being more modern and minimalistic. But you still feel out of place here, such over-the-top spaces make you feel uneasy. Mammon seems to enjoy it, though, so you’ll have to get used to it as well.

The first place on your list is… No, it’s not a casino, strangely enough. You were quite sure that Mammon would jump into gambling as soon as possible. And it would be true for any other time the demon visited this place. But this time Mammon is not alone, so he does his best to act responsibly. And feeding his human is a responsible thing to do, surely.

You do your best to count the price of the dinner in your head to know how much money you’ll owe Mammon. Plus the money for the hotel suite. The sum is already horrendous, and you only just arrived. But when the demon notices what you’re doing, he simply snatches the menu and makes the order instead of you.

“I brought ya here not for the trainin’ in fuckin’ math. Stop doin’ that and just enjoy the vacation. It’s a command.”

“Fine, Boss. Just don’t order anything too exotic. If it turns out to be poisonous, the only demons and an angel who can cure me are too far away from here.” You sigh, trying to forget the prices that you just saw. This place is too expensive for your tastes.

Thankfully, the food turned out to be very delicious. Not Simeon’s or Barbatos’ level, but rather close nonetheless. You also found yourself a little entertainment in the face of your self-proclaimed Boss. He adorably blushes when your leg slightly bumps into his and gently starts caressing his shin.

“S-stop it, Cas. I said no touchin’, remember?” Mammon mutters, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Hm? Oh, it’s you? My bad, I thought it was a table leg.” You smirk, slowly moving your leg away. But the demon suddenly stops you, squeezing your limb with both his legs. “Oi, Boss. I can’t follow the order if you keep trapping me like that.”

“Shut up and eat…” Mammon breathes out and squeezes your leg even more. He looks so stressed out by this simple demonstration of affection that he keeps you entertained the whole dinner.

After that, you went to the casino. One of many you’ve visited that night. Whether it was simple luck or your presence influenced the Avatar of Greed somehow, but the demon went on a winning spree. You were kicked out from one casino only to laugh it off and head to another. Mammon was winning one game after another and without any cheating. You played a few games of poker yourself, but after winning two times in a row, you decided that some kind of magic must be on the loose. There was no fun in playing games you couldn’t lose, so you stopped after financially securing the next couple of months. Mammon didn’t care about such stuff at all, leaving the casinos only after winning ginormous amounts of money.

And as it often happens, where the winner is, there is a crowd. By the end of Mammon’s spree, you find yourself surrounded by a huge number of strangers. They all look starry-eyed at the Great Mammon, trying to get on the good side of this walking moneybag. The demon basks in all the attention, leading the herd to the most expensive club in the area. You have no choice but to join, even if all you want is to take off the damn golden collar and get some rest.

Loud music, expensive drinks, sexy bodies on the dance floor. Everything is so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. The song that is playing sounds completely alien, the alcohol won’t make you drunk even for a second, and the crowd is full of monstrosities that can eat you in an instant if you’re not careful. You’ve visited clubs many times before, but this place is definitely not your turf.

So instead of jumping on the dancefloor, you have to stay near drunk Mammon, who gets surrounded by his new friends the second he sits down. He orders drinks for everybody, causing loud shouts of approval from the herd. You lazily observe how demons try to get on Mammon’s good side. In other circumstances, it would be rather easy, given that the demon already sucked in a couple of bottles of Demonus on his way to the club. But your silent presence next to Mammon doesn’t allow his fans to surround him, leaving only one side open for the attack. Alas, they end up getting in each other’s way, trying to get as much attention from Mammon as possible.

One of the demons tries a different approach, turning their attention to you.

“So you’re his pet, aren’t you? You are so gorgeous.” The demon with gray skin and black eyes smiles softly, radiating fake interest in your humble persona. But the trick works: Mammon instantly stops telling his tenth completely truthful story about his achievements to the group of his fans. A shame, you wanted to know whether he killed that giant squid or it was so impressed by Mammon’s magnificence that it gave up without a fight.

As soon as the greedy demon hears someone complimenting you, his priorities change completely. He puts his arm around you, pressing you closer to him.

“Gorgeous, huh? Hell yeah he is! Ya can watch, but no touchin’ or talkin’, ya hear me? If I spot anyone touchin’ my treasure, I’ll kick your ass, gotcha?” Mammon says it with a smile, but possessive gestures speak volumes. You don’t really like such treatment, but there is not much you can do in this situation. At least now you know that you still can’t talk to anyone besides Mammon.

“Of course, I would never dream about laying a finger on something that belongs to you, Great one.” The gray demon is laying it on thick. For your sober brain it sounds so unnatural that you can’t help but roll your eyes. But Mammon believes every word, and the gray demon notices it. “But there are so many pests around. They were shamelessly gawking at your pet the whole time, who knows what they are planning? How about moving the party into the VIP room? Somewhere more private. My friend and I are working here, and we can provide more entertainment than any of those annoying pests.” The gray one points at a more feminine pink-skinned demon next to them. So they work as a pair, huh. An effective scheme, they complement each other perfectly.

“The VIP room? Aight, now we’re talkin’! Cas, let’s go!” Mammon looks inspired by the idea of becoming a VIP client, so he snatches your hand and makes you follow the gray demon alongside him. The pink demon silently follows behind.

The VIP room looks like the rest of the club, the only difference being that it’s a secluded room with an amazing view on the dancefloor.

“My name is Ash, and this is my partner, Rose. It is an honor to serve one of the Rulers in our establishment. Please do not hesitate to express any desires that you might have. Rose and I are more than capable of satisfying all your whims.” The gray demon settles you and Mammon on the couch, landing right next to Mammon. Meanwhile, Rose snaps their fingers to make all kinds of refreshments appear on the table. They carefully sit between you and Mammon, inconspicuously separating you from your Boss.

Hm, interesting. You decide to continue playing the role of a silent observer, watching how Mammon returns to telling his hilarious stories and how the demons listen to him with open mouths. After one more bottle of Demonus they decide to act. Since it is not allowed to touch Mammon’s treasure, the greedy demon gets double the attention. The pair professionally shortens the gap between them and Mammon, little by little. Soon they almost breathe right into his face, sitting on the distance of a kiss.

Mammon notices what’s going on only when Rose’s hand slides on his knee. He freezes, choking on his words, and his eyes instantly find you. You expected to see embarrassment, confusion, maybe a little bit of guilt. But Mammon suddenly frowns, looking angry and irritated. At you.

“What? Ya gonna just sit there, doin’ nothin’? Maybe wanna say somethin’, no?” He sharply removes Rose’s hand from his leg, paying attention only to you.

“Hm, what can I say, Boss? I’m glad that you’re enjoying yourself.” You smirk, sipping your glass of Demonus. It may be useless if you want to get drunk, but you like the flavor.

“Wh-! Are ya fuckin’ serious right now?!” Mammon rudely shoves Rose out of his way and moves closer to you. “Ya don’t care? At all? Some fuckin’ extra puts their hand on me, and you aren’t even jealous?”

“I’m not in the position to get jealous, Boss. Even I am not capable of such high-level hypocrisy.” You try to laugh it off, but Mammon doesn’t let you close the topic that easily.

“I don’t believe ya! Stop tryin’ to avoid the question! Anybody would be jealous if they saw their boyfriend with someone else.” Mammon scowls, staring into your face and trying to find something in your eyes.

“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend, so what’s your point?” You smile at Mammon, making him twitch with fury.

“I. AM. YOUR. BOYFRIEND.” He growls, gripping your collar. “You’re mine, Cas. MINE!”

“I assume that’s an order? Since you don’t bother asking what I want. Right, Boss?” You sigh and wince as the collar starts pressing uncomfortably against your neck.

“You-!” Mammon growls one last time and lets go. He breathes heavily, squeezing the fabric of the couch with his fingers. The claws leave long scratches on the surface. “So what do ya want? No dating, no feelings - is that it?! Ya can fuck whoever ya want, and don’t give two shits about me, yeah?!”

“I fucking care about you, Mon! How many times do I have to repeat?!” You growl back, already tired from this conversation.

“Bullshit! Ya should’ve said somethin’ when that bitch put their hands on me! Ya should’ve done anythin’!” Mammon waves his arms around in attempts to explain his feelings to you.

“The fact that I don’t get jealous if you get attention from someone else doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you!”

“That’s exactly what it means! I’m goin’ crazy every time those fuckers touch ya, while you wouldn’t care even if I fucked someone right in front of ya! How is it fair? Why am I the only one who feels all this shit, and you’re completely fine?!” Mammon yells so loudly that you can’t even hear the music in the background. You see tears in his eyes.

“Mon, but I’m not fine, I’m…” You try to lower your voice and speak gentler, but it only pisses off Mammon even more.

“SHUT UP! Shut up! Enough! I don’t believe a single word ya say, Cas!” The demon shouts at you as loudly as he possibly can. He then points at the door and says: “Get out. It’s an order. You're not jealous, right? Then I’ll fuck these two right here, right now. It’s very convenient that ya don’t mind, Cas.”

You sigh heavily, getting up and heading toward the door. You let yourself shut the door behind you with all your might, almost breaking the handle.

Fuck, good thing that you took cigarettes with you. You desperately need them right now.

You run out of the building, finally breathing in some fresh air. The distant music from the club gets on your nerves, so you decide to walk further. You manage to get your brain working only after puffing on your cigarette a few times.

Fucking jealousy. You thought that Levi would give you a hard time with this shit, but Mammon snuck in first. There was a guy who you were working with, he had open relationships with two or three girls, or something like that. He was talking about this shit non-stop. He acted like the most enlightened person in the room, preaching about how jealousy is the same as possessiveness; and if you feel anything remotely similar to jealousy, it means that you treat your partner as an object, not a human being with their own wishes and feelings. And if you are jealous, it means that you don’t trust your partner at all.

He acted like the smartest fucker in the world who managed to beat this scary jealousy. Until you asked why he allowed his girlfriends to date only other girls but not other guys.

You’re not an expert in feelings, that’s for sure. But you’ve never viewed jealousy as something you need to beat. It’s just a feeling that is natural and healthy to a certain degree. You need to accept that it exists, try to find the root of your feelings, and make it more bearable if it messes up yours or your partner’s life.

Possessiveness is a whole other thing, of course. But you don’t think that Mammon crossed this line. Not yet, at least. He got really close with the whole wardrobe thing, though.

And now he’s angry that you didn’t react when Rose and the other one started flirting with him. Why didn’t you react? You’re definitely not an enlightened person who is too perfect for all this jealousy stuff. You do get jealous. And you did get jealous just now. It was unpleasant to see Mammon with someone else. But you had no right to have such feelings. Not when you flirt with Mammon’s whole family. Not when you can’t even date the guy because you’re leaving this realm in a year. This is just stupid. You need to get rid of such feelings, because they’re laughable, really. Pathetic. Mammon doesn’t own you anything. You can’t ask him to accept that you want to date several more guys, but also be upset if he dates or fucks someone else. Seriously, is there anything more ridiculous than this?

You laugh aloud, thinking about the whole situation again and again. Yeah, it’s unbelievably stupid.

So you toss the cigarette in the dumpster and turn around to return to this fucking VIP room and crash Mammon’s little party.

“Oh! Look who it is!” But an unknown voice behind your back is the last thing you hear before you get punched on the back of your head and lose your consciousness.

…

Goddammit.

Chapter Text

Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire

Johnny Cash – Ring of Fire

Consciousness is returning to you reluctantly, like after a wild party night, when you are already almost awake, but you know that as soon as you attempt any kind of motion, your mind and body will blow up with pain. This is a similar sensation, but in addition to physical pain, you anticipate problems. Serious sort of problems.

…No, you’re not doing this again. The situation is drastically different from your first day in the Devildom, despite several similarities. Stone, chilly floor, unknown location, and a ton of strangers – it really seems all too familiar. But unfortunately for you, it’s not Barbatos’ time shenanigans that have put you in this position. And the demons around you are much less friendly than the student council of RAD.

Your head thrums with dull pain. Whoever punched you earlier didn’t intend to go easy on you, that’s for sure. Thick ropes bind your whole body, making it impossible to move a muscle. At least your captors left you in a sitting position, so you can slightly open your eyes and examine the surroundings without alerting the demons. 

You find yourself in some kind of warehouse; it’s a drastic change from the fabulous club. You’re tied to a metallic pillar, used for the support of the roof above your head. The place is not exactly huge, but spacious enough to contain different building materials. Perhaps you’re somewhere on one of the construction sites of the next hotel or restaurant. A great place if you want to get rid of someone. Nobody will ever know if you end up smothered under the concrete and your body becomes a part of the foundation of a sumptuous casino.

…Stop it, Cas. Focus.

There are eight demons in front of you. Maybe there’s more, your line of sight is limited by all the boxes and building materials around. But it doesn’t matter, really. Any number higher than zero is bad news. The only weapon you have on you is a little knife, hidden in your shoe – the old habit of constantly carrying around a blade, no matter how small it is, is a very useful habit to have. Though it’s not as useful when you are completely immobilized.

Any idea why they kidnapped you?

You squint your eyes, searching for familiar faces. Judging from a short phrase you heard before getting smacked in the head, they know who you are. But it only means that they may have recognized that you were a human. There is a chance that they know you personally, and they’re not just a group of demons who want to devour your soul. You’re kidnapped and tied, but still have your soul intact. Why?

Maybe your soul is just that unappetizing. Demons prefer to eat “good” people, and you don’t exactly match the description. I bet your soul is all stinky and nasty.

That would be handy, it’s like having a natural defense against predators. But do souls have smells?...

Wait a second. You were so focused on your current situation that you completely missed an elephant in the room. Or a demon in your head, to be exact. It always feels strange to have Belphie hanging out in your brain. He tends to slip in unnoticed, tangling his words with your thoughts. Sometimes the only thing that lets you indicate the intruder is the faint warmth of the mark and Belphie’s potty mouth.

Fuck you. How many times do I have to repeat it? It’s you who initiates the connection, not the other way around. It’s not my fault that you’re so scared of facing any kind of danger alone. Are you going to do this every time you’re about to shit your pants? Because this is getting exhausting.

Yeah, you definitely need to prioritize getting these powers under control once you get out of here.

If you get out of here.

Belphie is supportive as always, at least something is constant in this world. You let out a heavy sigh, completely forgetting that you’re supposed to be pretending to be unconscious. A sudden slap in the face reminds you about it.

“Our Sleeping Beauty has finally woken up!” A demon with yellow, sharp fangs grins widely before slapping your other cheek. Your face burns, and you feel a thin stream of blood running down your face: the clumsy demon accidentally scratched your skin with his long claws.

“Get away from him. You’re spoiling the merchandise.” You hear a calm voice from behind the boxes. Another demon appears in your line of sight. Now this is the face you didn’t expect to see. The crocodile demon, the very same one that you met at the dance competition, approaches and squats in front of you. “Do you remember me, little human?”

“Yeah, this snout of yours looks familiar,” you smirk, but the smile disappears as you get another hit in the face. This time, the yellow-fanged demon punches you with a foot, instantly filling your mouth with your own blood. And with something else. You frown and spit on the floor, watching how your tooth lands in the little puddle of blood and saliva. Goodbye, little fella.

Can you be serious for at least one second?!

As long as your little jokes help you survive this madness, you’ll continue using this coping mechanism. It proved to be quite effective.

So far, all you have gained from it is an unnecessary injury, you idiot!

“You see, little human,” Croc thoughtfully scratches his long nose, lazily watching you spitting your blood. “You’re quite valuable, but we won’t accept any rudeness toward ourselves, understood? Be a good boy and sit quietly.”

“So you two are the good and bad cop, got it.” You continue smiling, despite the pain in your mouth. The other demon stands nearby, ready to strike whenever you feel the need to be rude. That’s the toughest part: you hate watching your tongue, especially while being tortured. “Care to explain what’s going on? Did I win the dance-off and you came to deliver my prize?”

“Funny. You’re a very funny guy, you know that?” Croc says without a hint of a smile, cracking his knuckles. He tilts his head to the side to look at you with one of his eyes. The structure of his head is a little awkward, but it doesn’t stop him from piercing you with his watchful gaze. “I know that it’s you who took the money. You and that embarrassment of the Ruler. Did you have fun with the money that doesn’t belong to you, human?” The demon rumbles, reaches for the nearest box, and takes something from it. It’s your golden collar, you didn’t realize that it’s no longer on your neck. “Out of all the ways you could spend the money, you decided to buy this tasteless thing. You two are freaky bastards, aren’t you?”

“Wait till you see the crocodile-skin shoes we bought…”

BAM!

Your bravado is stopped once again, this time Croc punches you himself. You hear ringing deep within your skull, your vision becomes unfocused.

Okay, got it. You want me to beg? Fine, I’ll do it. Please, you moron, shut your damn mouth! You’re gonna get yourself killed! How am I supposed to get out of the attic without you?!

“Now listen here, little human.” The demon in front of you growls, you managed to really piss him off. “I know the likes of you. Never worked an honest job in their life, neither you nor that disgrace of a demon.”

“You’re completely wrong, but please, continue.” You give him a fake smile, barely managing to move your face muscles from all the bruises.

“I don’t care if you actually worked as a waiter in Hell’s kitchen or something like that. It doesn’t change what you have in your gut. You’re a thief. And when you take, you don’t care what happens to those who you rob.” Croc scowls, continuing to stare at you. “You think that if you steal from the rich and mighty, it doesn’t matter? Guess what? After your little heist in the club, the owner fired my whole crew that was responsible for security. A dozen demons, who have families to support, lost their jobs in an instant. And nobody will ever hire a crew that misses a robbery of that scale, the owner made sure of that.”

“Sounds like a you problem, jerk.” You do your best to smirk, but you can’t feel your face anymore. Even simple speaking requires a huge amount of effort. “How is it my fault that you suck at your job? I’m glad that the owner got a chance to hire real pros instead of your lazy asses.”

Cas!

Croc stops the foot of his friend mere inches from your head. The demon looks at you attentively, you see a shadow of amusement in his little eyes.

“Even after all these punches, you still have the energy to bark. Good. I was hoping that you’d be resilient. You know, me and my crew arrived in this distant land in search of work. Imagine our surprise when we heard that the Avatar of Greed and his pet human arrived at the same place. The Ruler is an unreachable target for us, no matter how laughable he is, but his pet… You’ll make for fine entertainment. And help us earn some money in the process.”

You notice a commotion in the background. Numerous demons, must be his crew, who were standing silently this whole time, started to move boxes to the side, emptying the space around you. Some started to install lights, cameras…

Shit.

Shit.

“Do you know how rare porn videos with humans are? You’ll be a star in no time.” Croc smiles for the first time during the whole conversation. He looked less creepy when he was frowning. You notice a dark shadow landing on one of the boxes. A raven, how odd. “Each of us has something to say and to give to you. Do your best to survive till the end; we already found a couple of buyers who want to consume your soul afterwards.”

“So, each of you will participate? These are the honest workers with families to support, or am I missing something?” You try to jest, but your insides are ice-cold with fear. All you can do is stare at the demons who drag some kind of old mattress into the center of the room, move the lights so that they illuminate the right spot, and make sure that the cameras work properly. They almost look bored, like this sort of thing is an every-day activity for them. If you hoped that someone would show you mercy, better forget about it. Even the raven that was here just a second ago left you with these fuckers. You have no idea how that bird even got here, but it doesn’t matter anyway. You’re all alone.

Well, not completely, to be fair.

Those cunts! Fucking scumbags! Disgusting pieces of shit! We need to tear them apart! Tear them apart, Cas! You can’t give up now! Not after everything! Come on, pull the solution out of your ass like you always do! Do something, anything!

You close your eyes, trying to focus, but Belphie’s screams, while very heartwarming, don’t help you in the slightest. Your best bet is to make a run for it once they remove the ropes from your body. The knife in your shoe won’t help you: it’ll take too much time to get it. So yeah, you just need to run, dodging a dozen demons on your path. Where to run? No idea. Will the doors of the warehouse be open? You highly doubt it. Will you be able to move after spending several hours tied from head to toe and getting several punches in the head? Well, you can certainly try…

You feel like you’re freezing. The floor beneath your knees is cold, the metallic pillar behind your back is cold, even the fucking Croc’s stares are as cold as ice. You’ve always craved warmth. Heat even. Heat of battle, heat of a good argument, heat in the bedsheets. That’s how you’ve always lived, and that’s how you’re gonna go. Not pressed down to the ground, unable to move. Not overpowered by someone. Not without a chance to fight back.

Not again.

You open your eyes, staring at the mattress the demons prepared for you. That’s the destiny they chose for you. That’s your death, right there. Long, humiliating, painful death. Cold and lonely, no matter how many parasites your head has.

Hey!

You won’t let it happen. You can’t. As long as you feel this fire burning inside you, you’ll crush everyone who tries to put it out. You feel your blood boil as you move your gaze and look at Croc. He’s still sitting in front of you, enjoying your fear. The golden collar in his hands shines with colorful gems.

You try to focus on this little trinket, but your thoughts wander off somewhere. Like something gentle takes you by the hand and shows you the right way. Gold. So beautiful. Like the sun. Like a fire. Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Your shoulder burns.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!...” Croc screams so suddenly, that the crew behind his back drops one of the cameras. He jumps on his feet, staring at his hands. The collar melted almost instantly. The stench of burnt flesh and melted metal fills the room.

The demon that punched you with his foot quickly runs toward his friend, as does the rest of the crew. They stare at his hands in shock, trying to figure out what to do. But there is nothing they can do anymore.

Because the pact on your shoulder still burns.

It happens just as suddenly. One second, the demons stare at Croc, then at you, then at the ropes that slowly slide downward, releasing you. The fire dances on your former shackles, on both the ropes and the golden collar in Croc’s hands. It flickers like a little butterfly - so small, so innocent. Then it grows bigger, gently enveloping your arms, torso, legs…

“NOOOO!!! PLEASE HEL-...!” But others are not as resilient to hellish fires as you are. You watch as Croc’s skin and scales dissolve under the heat, leaving bare, white bones. Then, leaving nothing, not even a pile of ash.

The demons try to run for their lives, but the fire catches them faster. The quickest one manages to get to the doors, slamming them open. The demon gets a chance to glaze at the beautiful night sky above and let out a scream… before being consumed by the hellish flames without a trace.

You slowly get up as the warehouse around you gets destroyed by the fire. It’s quite hard to move your legs; you had no chance to run away even if you attempted such a feat. But you pull yourself together and wobble in the direction of an open door. Cerberus’ pact protects you from the heat, giving you a sense of security even in a room full of flames that burn the building to the ground.

What… What just happened?

You don’t reply. Is there even a need to reply? Definitely not now, when you finally get some fresh air, sit in front of the warehouse and watch it burn. Damn, it feels nostalgic.

Nostalgic? You’ve done something like this before?

Nothing can beat this scene. When the fire consumes the building that became a coffin for your foes; when they die a horrible death, and you’re still breathing… These are the things worth living for.

Okay, you won. Great job. See? Even I admit it. Let’s just think about it later, when you calm down, okay? We need to find help, you’re bleeding and…

What an amazing power. It isn’t just some regular fire, definitely not. Demons are resilient to it, to a certain degree. Normal flames wouldn’t cause that much damage so quickly. No, these are real hellish flames, an unstoppable calamity that can wreak havoc on half of the realm, if you let it. What will you be able to do once you manage to control this fire?

Cas, how about you stop fantasizing about the destruction of the world and focus on the current problems? We need to…

Current problems, right. Pacts.

No, that’s not what I meant!

Do you really need them anymore?

What?!

Your primary focus was to protect your home world from possible damage in case the fight between the brothers starts. But maybe you’re actually capable of protecting your home even without pacts? Will the Rulers be resistant to these flames? You have a feeling that they won’t. Not even Lucifer.

…

Oh. It seems you are capable of killing them now.

IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON MY BROTHERS!... IF YOU HURT THEM, I SWEAR, I’LL DESTROY YOU! I’LL KILL ALL THE HUMANS, EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!

Belphie’s threats don’t impress you. What does impress you are your own feelings. You feel… sadness? Sadness from the thought of killing the demons, who may attempt to destroy the Human world. Fuck, you already like these dumbasses too much, even your annoying stalker.

I’m not a stalker, you damn pyromaniac!

Why couldn’t you discover such an awesome power earlier? Now you’re stuck with your feelings, forced to continue working toward a “good” ending. It would be so incredible to just brute-force your way to the finish. Maybe you still need time to learn how to control the fire, sure, but you’ve already tasted how sweet these powers are. You want to use them more.

Fuck, you really are a pyromaniac. Great, just great. So what, you’re now going to have these urges to burn everything down? Don’t forget that I’m stuck in the attic if you decide to start the fire in the House. Out of all the people they could’ve chosen for their stupid exchange program, they chose you. Unbelievable.

Lucifer was the one responsible, if you remember correctly. Makes you wonder why he decided that you were the one who should be dragged to the Devildom. He’s always such an enigma when it comes to everything that involves your persona.

Meanwhile, the warehouse finally burns down, leaving just a couple of piles of ash. Luckily for all the locals, this particular building was situated on a rather distant and partially abandoned construction site, which made it perfect for keeping hostages and filming porn in the first place. And such convenient placement allowed you to avoid any collateral damage, which is a rare occasion that is worth celebrating.

So you’re saying that you were successfully destroying my home even without any fire powers? Damn Cerberus doomed us all…

“CAS!” A sudden impact pushes you to the ground, as you’re getting smooshed under something heavy and restless. You see black bat wings flopping in front of you, feel a suffocating embrace and soft hair against your cheek. Mammon lies on you, squeezing you tight and crying into your shoulder. He shivers, trying to say something, but his own tears choke him.

Ew.

Since you can’t do anything other than be Mammon’s personal teddy bear for hugging, you decide to concentrate on removing Belphegor from your brain.

What?! First you drag me into your empty brain, and then you want to get rid of me? Show some respect, human. You can’t use me however you please.

Damn, he calls you human again. And here you thought that he had finally started to call you by your name.

Lies.

You focus on the mark, trying to interrupt the connection. It’s easier to do when the demon doesn’t shout in your head.

Consider yourself lucky that I don’t have the energy for it. But threaten my family again, and I’ll make you go insane, I swear.

Hm, the more you deal with Belphie, the more similarities you see between him and Lucifer.

WHAT?! YOU!…

And at that, you manage to deactivate the pact mark. You’re steadily getting better at controlling marks. Yeah, you’ll be able to melt people with fire in no time. The fact that you won’t use this quirk against your demons doesn’t mean that you won’t be using it at all. You forcibly hide a truly evil smirk and move your attention to Mammon. The poor demon is still sobbing on top of you, and it doesn’t look like he’ll get up anytime soon. 

“Hey, Mon.” You try to get the attention of the demon, but he only hugs you tighter, making it really hard to breathe. “Mon, I really want to get out of here before someone shows up, like firefighters or police. Let’s fly away before it happens.”

Mammon whines something, but his words are muffled by your shoulder. He slowly gets up, but freezes once he gets a chance to see you properly. His face twists, tears start running down his cheeks once again.

“Cas, shit… Your face…” He mumbles, unsure of what he should do next. Yeah, you must be really handsome right now.

“My face looks worse than it really is. Don’t worry about it, let’s return to the hotel. Please.” You get up as swiftly as possible, trying to play cool. Your whole body aches, but it’s actually manageable. You could barely walk just several minutes ago, but it’s not nearly as bad right now.

Mammon inspects you with his eyes, as if he has any knowledge of human bodies. Unable to detect anything unusual, he sighs and quickly lifts you with his arms. You’re carried like a princess again, but this time you don’t mind. It’s actually quite enjoyable, maybe Mammon will make you get used to such a way of transportation.

You both fly through the night, above all the colorful, shiny clubs and casinos. The sky is already rather bright, so it seems that it’s already an early morning. You have no idea whether the atmosphere in the Devildom just functions differently or Mammon is using some kind of shield, but you are not bothered by the wind and cold whatsoever, despite the tremendous height. It feels cozy and relaxing to be snuggled against the demon like this. You wish you could just fall asleep, but the demon’s questions don’t allow you to do this.

“What happened?” He asks, and you have to tell him everything. Almost. You decide to hide the fact that it was you who burned down the warehouse. You want to figure out how powerful you actually are before letting others know about your progress. And you didn’t mention Belphie, for obvious reasons. So the whole story came down to a quick explanation of who these guys were and how they managed to kill themselves by some spell, curse, or whatever that was. Who knows, you’re not an expert after all. “And what did they… Want to do to ya?” Mammon asks with a trembling voice.

“They didn’t tell. I think that they wanted to get to you through me. Guess they bit more than they could chew, huh?” You reply as cheerfully as possible. No need to freak out the demon even more. You prefer to let it be a little secret between you and Belphie. “By the way, how did you find me? I thought you were… you know. With them.”

Mammon’s arms start to shake, but he still holds you tightly. “I wasn’t… with them. I told ‘em to get out the second ya closed the door. I was… I was waitin’ for ya. Hoped that ya would come back. I drank, a lot. Then I went to the hotel, but ya weren’t there. That was when I finally understood that somethin’ had happened.”

“I was actually on my way back to you when they kidnapped me. I was ready to storm the VIP room and kick those two out. But I didn’t make it, sadly.” You smile, slightly caressing Mammon’s shoulder.

“R-really?” The demon stops mid-air, staring at you.

“Yeah. I was really jealous, Mon. I’m just not sure that I have any rights to have such feelings. But fuck that. I’m such a goody-two-shoes that it’s just exhausting. From now on, I’ll be kicking the asses of anyone who dares to touch you, got it?” You smirk, looking the demon in the eyes. And damn, his eyes are literally glowing. So that’s what you needed to say to him all along? Maybe your tendency to overanalyze the situation is not always a good thing. Literally, simply say the first thing that jumps into your head, and that’s it. For example: “I want you to be mine, Mammon. All mine. You’re not the only one who’s greedy here.”

Mammon doesn’t reply. He sharply breathes out and kisses your bruised lips. Finally, your first fucking kiss. That happened several miles above ground. If your face wasn’t so fucked up, it would be the scene straight from a romantic movie. Mammon doesn’t deepen the kiss, worrying that your wounds may still hurt.  

“Damn you, Mon,” you smile, tilting your head away. “You should’ve waited till my face became kissable again. I’m not exactly in a good shape for all this romantic stuff.” 

“Your face is always kissable.” Mammon shakes his head and smooches your lips one more time. You can’t hide a disgustedly wide grin. “Okay, let’s get ya to the hotel before I… Before we… Ya need some rest, okay?”

“Okay, Boss.” You smirk, noticing how Mammon winces.

“Don’t call me that. We won’t do this again. I didn’t like it.”

“Got it. Me neither, actually. But you know…” You ruffle Mammon’s hair, enjoying its softness. “…I would be down to do this the other way around.”

Mammon’s arms start shaking once again, more nervously this time. “The other way? Like… Like ya’ll be the Boss, right?”

“Right. I promise to take good care of you. If you let me, Mon.” Your hand moves from his hair to his cheek, gently pressing against the soft skin. Mammon closes his eyes for a second, leaning into the touch. “Sounds good?”

“…yeah…” The demon replies quietly, almost whispering. He presses you closer to his chest and starts flopping his wings more frantically. He tries to pretend that his face became bright red from all the physical activities, but you both know that it's not true.

***

Once you arrive at your hotel suite, the first thing you do is order some food. You haven’t eaten for a long while, so you wanted to munch on something even more than you wanted a shower. So once your order is delivered, you drag it to the dinner table and attack it immediately.

“Are ya sure that you’re alright? I think they have some kind of doctor in here. Should we call ‘em?” Mammon attentively watches you destroy one meal after another, barely touching the food himself.

“Nah, I’m fine, really. I’ll be good as new after the shower, believe me.” You wave at the demon carelessly. You look at him and ask: “You know, you didn’t really answer my question earlier. How did you actually manage to find me?”

“Oh, the ravens helped.” Mammon simply replies, finally starting to eat as well.

“Wait, come again? Ravens?” You stare at him, not sure if you heard the demon correctly.

“Yeah. They are very smart ya know. Don’t mind helpin’ me out as long as I feed ‘em. I found a couple of ravens after I returned to the hotel and didn’t find ya. They have this crazy network amongst themselves, so after they found the ravens who saw ya, we figured out the location. A piece of cake, really.” Mammon shrugs, as if a network of spying ravens is something very common.

“Okay… And you like… Understand what they say?...” you ask, not sure if Mammon is joking or not. Well, you’re in literal hell, so everything here is possible. But you’d sleep better without the thought of sentient ravens that can see your every move.

“Yeah. They are smart, but don’t understand jokes, at all. So be careful if ya decide to prank ‘em. Learned this the hard way.” Mammon says it earnestly. You even see a hint of fear in his eyes. Whatever ravens did to him, it was brutal. So he is not joking. Fuck.

“Okay, thanks for the warning, Mon. I think I’ll go take a shower.” You stand up, not feeling hungry anymore. Sentient ravens, damn. Maybe all the animals here are smarter than they look. Satan’s cats definitely act like they know all your secrets. Though the cats in the Human world act the same, so who knows what the truth is? You’ll go mad if you keep thinking about such things, so you decide to ignore all this mind-blowing stuff.

A hot shower returns you back to life. What a crazy day it was. You’re kind of glad that you dodged the bullet with the whole three-day contract idea. One day was more than enough. At least those fuckers helped you fix your relationship with Mammon without too much hassle…

You frown, thinking about the Croc and his crew. You already have quite a body count, both in a murderous and sexual way. To be honest, you’ve never been a good guy. Shit happened all the time, and despite your best efforts, you didn’t always have an option to avoid “complications.” But you’re getting uncomfortable with how often you have to kill people ever since you got to the Devildom. You’re not some kind of maniac, despite your strange fascination with fire. You don’t like killing. Fights, quarrels, battles of wits – that’s fun, that makes your blood run faster. But murders were never a goal, except for that one time in the past.

Would you kill those two guards and Croc’s crew again if you’ve got a chance? Absolutely, they were a threat, and you don’t feel guilty about their deaths. But you also wish you’d had the option to let them live. It’s not about their families, whom you’ll never meet, or that they were demons with their own hopes, dreams, and plans. No, such stuff may haunt you in your nightmares, but you won’t let these thoughts bother you while you’re awake.

The more blood on your hands you have, the further you are from your ultimate goal – to be a better person. You don’t want to be kind, selfless or merciful. It’s not you, so why bother. You just need to be better, to do your best and not be consumed by your dark side. Everybody has a dark side, yours is just a little more restless than others. You love and accept yourself fully, including your evil part. But you always have to make a conscious effort to keep it under control.

And the fact that you already killed a dozen demons and indirectly contributed to the deaths of four fellow students doesn’t help you “be better.” These newly found fire powers won’t help either, too much of a temptation. This is actually the first time you’re kind of grateful that your home world is in danger. You can ignore your urges while concentrating on your main goal. Most of the time.

All those love trials also help. What can be more distracting than eleven hot guys who don’t seem to mind your attention? Speaking of hot guys…

You turn off the water and go to the mirror. Maybe your face looks a little better now, after you washed all the blood away. If it looks somewhat normal, maybe you’ll try to have sex with Mammon right away. He seems to be in the mood, despite everything.

But when you approach the mirror and wipe off the last traces of steam from its surface, you freeze in confusion.

Your face is completely fine. No bruises, no wounds - everything is gone. Your tongue searches for an empty space where your tooth was. The empty space is also gone. No, it can’t be.

You immediately open your mouth, checking your teeth. Maybe you lost only part of a tooth, not the whole thing? But your mouth is totally fine. But you saw it. You clearly saw it. You’re not some kind of shark that can grow out teeth whenever it pleases. So why is your body completely fine? That never happened before, unless someone healed you with magic. You’re pretty sure that Mammon doesn’t have any healing powers. So how? Who?

You feel sick, checking your teeth over and over. Maybe you should be happy that you were miraculously healed. But you know that it’s not a good thing. It’s a sign of something sinister, you can feel it in your gut. You don’t know why it makes you panic that much. There is no logical explanation, it’s not such a big deal. You’ve lived through things much more disturbing than the sudden disappearance of wounds. But this little episode made your heart beat with such an irrational fear that you need to take several deep breaths just to compose yourself. Your intuition has never failed you before, it is trying to tell you something. But what?

Thump thump. Thump thump.

Your racing heart is finally slowing down. It was beating like crazy this whole time, making your head spin. You need to leave the bathroom, it's too hot and humid here. You rush outside, chasing fresh air.

“Cas… Fuck!” Mammon almost drops one of the plates to the ground, distracted by your sudden appearance. You can’t really blame him, since you only now realize that you’re running around naked. Again. These damn demons don’t just transform you into a cold-blooded maniac, they also turn you into an exhibitionist. At least Mammon can’t see Belphie’s mark while you’re facing him like that.

You silently observe the now completely clean table, Mammon with the last plate in his hands, his flushed cheeks…

A distraction. That’s what you need. You won’t have time to think about all the creepy stuff in your life if you’re gonna be busy fucking Mammon into the nearest surface. The nearest surface being the table in this case.

“You know, I just remembered a very similar scene, back in the castle.” You slowly walk toward the demon, passing by the table and putting your hand on it. Your hand slides on its surface as you approach speechless Mammon. He tries to put the damn plate on the table without moving his gaze away from your body. He misses the table five times, but prevails on his sixth attempt. “Do you remember what I said to you that day?” Mammon shakes his head, trying to look at all your body parts at once but failing miserably. “It’s okay, I’ll remind you. I said that if you ever decide to declare yourself my 'boss', I will put you on your knees and punish you as thoroughly as I can. Guess who was a naughty boy, Mon?”

His eyes instantly meet yours. You’re now standing so close to him that he can feel the smell of your shower gel. Mammon’s first instinct is to panic, searching for excuses. “B-but I didn’t mean to… It was a part of our agreement, so…” But behind all this nervousness, you clearly see what he is hiding deep within. Greed.

“You refused to proceed with our deal, so you’ll face the consequences two days earlier. Congratulations.” You give him a wide smile and put your hand on his shoulder. The demon shivers, not daring to look anywhere besides your face. You wanted to just put him on his knees and take what’s yours, but you can’t be too rough with this boy. Not when he stares at you with these big, blue eyes of his. So your hand slides upward, caressing his shoulder and neck, then stops at his cheek. You pull him closer for a kiss, finally getting a chance to taste him properly. Your first kiss was romantic and all, but damn, you waited too long to have his mouth all to yourself.

Your tongue dances with his, enjoying every second of it. Your head almost starts to spin when Mammon’s hands quickly envelop your naked body and press you closer. With great regret, you interrupt the kiss, smiling when you hear Mammon’s quiet, unsatisfied whining.

“Mon, I need to ask you to keep your hands to yourself until you get permission, okay?” You caress his cheek, trying to be convincing. Mammon can be impressively stubborn sometimes. But now you understand why he forbade you to touch or even speak to him after that unsuccessful attempt at seduction. Now you need to basically do the same, because the demon’s touches don’t let you concentrate on your goal. You promised to punish him thoroughly, after all.

Luckily, Mammon decides to follow your orders and removes his hands. You instantly feel colder, but you hope to warm up shortly. And to achieve this, you need to focus on your task. “Good boy,” you whisper, making the demon shiver deliciously. Your hand returns to Mammon’s shoulder and presses down, giving a hint where to move next. He instantly obeys, kneeling in front of you and looking up in expectation. Yeah, he is much better at following orders than giving them.

Your cock is already half-hard from the fact that one of your fantasies came true. Mammon is sitting here, just like when you were bonded by the pact. But now he’s doing everything willingly, how it was supposed to be from the start. The demon looks at you with his shining eyes and flushed cheeks, submitting to you of his own free will.

You can’t take it any longer, your fingers tangle with Mammon’s soft hair, which you adore so much. Your other hand takes your dick and thrusts it into the demon’s mouth. He eagerly takes half of your length from the get-go, greedily slurping and groaning. It seems you were not the only one who was waiting for this.

You patiently allow Mammon to take his time and have fun with your cock. He licks and kisses it, refusing to put it back in his mouth. He sucks your balls, playing with you, edging you on. Mammon does it all without hands, since it is forbidden to touch you. All his actions aim for only one thing: to make you lose control. And he achieves his goal successfully.

Your hand on his head squeezes his hair and carefully drags him away from your dick. Mammon looks a little bit too happy to sit on his knees with saliva all over his face, but you definitely don’t complain. “Having fun?” You smirk, meeting his sly eyes.

“Yeah.” Mammon grins, all the shame is completely gone. “I thought it was supposed to be a punishment, Boss.”

“You’re just lucky that I have a soft spot for you, so I didn’t shove the whole length right away.” You caress his blushed cheek. “But if you insist… You can grab my thighs for support. If you want to stop, tap three times. Don’t overexert yourself, okay? I want you to let me know right away if you need a break.”

“Gotcha, boss. Do your worst.” Mammon smiles and immediately grips your hips. You thrust inside as soon as he opens his mouth, hitting the back of his throat and making the demon choke. He doesn’t tap, so you continue, using his mouth as your personal toy. Mammon takes you well, despite how hard you push. Your hand squeezes his hair, allowing you to steady his head with ease. Mammon looks like a mess with all the tears that run down his cheeks. But he’s so beautiful right now that it makes you want to ruin him more.

You pull yourself out of Mammon’s mouth, making him choke on the sudden air that he can now breathe in freely. He coughs and grabs your thighs with more force. “Hey! Kh-kh… I ain’t done yet!” The demon protests, wiping his mouth and trying to ignore his own growing erection. He’s still fully clothed, which creates an interesting imbalance between you two.

“You’re done for now, Mon. Great job. Now all I need you to do is take off your clothes and lean on this table,” you say as you bend forward and fish out condoms and lubricant out of Mammon’s pocket. He gets much more embarrassed than he was with a dick in his mouth. You noticed how he took these things earlier, before you went to the restaurant. You were hoping to get a chance to use them sooner, but too many obstacles stood in your way. Meanwhile, Mammon swiftly gets out of his clothes. He lays his chest on the wooden surface and spreads his legs as wide as possible. “See? How can I punish you when you’re being so good for me?” You softly murmur to him, tenderly fondling his back. Mammon shivers at every praise, making your heart melt. “Give me a second, we need to prepare you…”

“I!...” Mammon suddenly speaks up but closes his mouth right after. He hides his face in his arms, clearly changing his mind about saying anything.

“Come on, tell me what’s on your mind.” You smile and teasingly kiss his upper back.

“Ya don’t need to prepare me. I already… Kind of… Shit, ya can just do it, okay?!” Mammon shouts into his arms, muffling all the sounds. But you can hear his embarrassment loud and clear.

“Damn, Mon. Why the hell are you so perfect?” You chuckle quietly, calmingly caressing his back. “You’re driving me crazy, you have no right to be this cute.”

“I’m not cu- Ah!” All Mammon’s complaints disappear once he feels your dick near his entrance. You rub it up and down, pouring the lubricant on the demon’s ass. Maybe you went a little overboard with the amount, but you are in the mood to make your demon a real mess. Mammon lifts his hips higher to make it easier for you to push inside. You slide in without any problems, Mammon’s hole is just as greedy as he is. He does his best to stay still, but you see that he can’t wait for you to start moving. Adorable.

You can’t possibly refuse his silent pleas, thrusting all the way in. Mammon’s moans fill the room, making you hope that the walls in this hotel are thick enough. The demon is very fucking loud, and he is not scared to let the world know it. Neither do you. So you just keep going, savoring Mammon’s moans and whimpers he lets out from each push. The quicker you move, the lower you bend. Soon you’re lying right on Mammon, completely covering him with your body. The demon doesn’t waste time, turns his head around and pulls you closer for a kiss. You catch all his cries from pleasure with your mouth, getting drunk on them.

You two are getting closer, completely losing yourself in each other. The demon is all hoarse after everything his throat went through, but it doesn’t prevent him from screaming your name over and over. You squeeze him in your embrace, taking the last steps toward your shared ecstasy.

You purr into his ear: “You’re mine. And I’m yours, Mammon.” And it’s enough to drive you both over the edge.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Won't you stop breaking in
Red sky, red light, awakening
I don't want another, day to break
Take our, steal our, night away

Fink – Warm Shadow

You wake up in each other’s embrace when it’s already long past noon. The giant bed of the luxurious hotel suite makes it a little too tempting to spend the whole day without moving a finger. Mammon is clinging to you still, having no intention to remove his skinny limbs and let you go. You’re completely stuck, and you couldn’t be more content. Maybe you should stay in bed for the rest of your “vacation”, after all. You sigh with a smile, pressing the demon closer to your chest. He snuggles to you, softly breathing right near your heart. Your fingers caress his tangled hair as your eyes open to look at the clock on the nightstand. You need to at least learn what time it is.

But instead of the clock, your gaze finds red eyes. Together with black wings and spiral horns. Lucifer is towering above you, standing with crossed arms and a frown on his face. It seems your vacation is over.

“Mammon,” Lucifer says firmly, continuing to look you in the eyes. This single word was enough to instantly wake up the greedy demon. He practically jumps in the air from shock, immediately turning toward his brother and trying to hide his completely naked body behind the blanket.

“L-L-Lucifer?!” Mammon stutters, still sitting in the bed next to you. “H-How did you find us?!”

“I think it would be more shocking if I didn’t find you.” Lucifer sighs heavily. “Get up and pack your bags, we’re leaving. I won’t allow you to skip classes again.”

Mammon instantly jumps out of bed and runs to the next room to pack all the stuff. And he drags the blanket along with him. You genuinely understand his desire not to show his private parts to his older brother, but he left you completely defenseless. You try to stop him by grabbing the end of the blanket, but the bastard is too fast. So he runs away, leaving you on the bed, stark naked, under the watchful eye of Lucifer.

“Fucking jerk!” You shout to Mammon, but he is too invested in pleasing Lucifer to hear you. Maybe he didn’t even realize that he left you in a rather vulnerable position. You sigh, turning toward Lucifer. He’s still standing nearby in the same pose, but you can swear that you see amused sparks in his crimson eyes. “Well, Lucy, congratulations.”

“…Congratulations?” The demon elegantly lifts his brow as he transforms back into his human form. What a shame, his black wings looked really cool.

“Yeah. You know, every single brother of yours has seen me naked, one way or another. Well, except for the one who is in the Human world.” And even this is a lie. You can vividly remember how you showed Belphie your ass, the day you both made a pact. Maybe you are a whore. “So congratulations, now you’re in the club.” You clap jokingly, still sitting on the bed.

“…Even Levi?” Lucifer frowns again, the amusement in his eyes is gone.

“Man, he was the first one, actually. Well, I was in my underwear, but still. I think that counts.” You smirk, finally getting up. You look around the room, trying to remember where you left your clothes. “Lucy, I know that you’re enjoying the view and all that, but can you conjure me something?”

“As if there is anything to enjoy, Castiel.” Lucifer smirks back. He checks you out from head to toe, looking as unimpressed as possible.

“Oh yeah? Thank God, at least you find me unattractive.” You sigh theatrically, pretending to be relieved. “Because I don’t think that I would be able to be of service. One look of your creepy eyes, and my dick becomes all soft and limp.”

“Is that so?” Lucifer hides a sly smirk and snaps his fingers. A pile of clothes lands right on top of you. Oh, it’s a uniform. “A gift from Lord Diavolo. He was devastated when he learned that the new uniforms that you got several days ago were already destroyed. I believe you’ll find 20 new uniforms in your closet, all enchanted by Barbatos to be more resistant to incoming damage. They both hope that it’ll help at least a little bit.”

“Hm? How do you know that I need new uniforms? Did you rummage through my closet?” you ask, putting the uniform on.

“Of course. I was looking for you and Mammon, so I had to investigate both of your rooms for clues. Luckily for me, Mammon left the site of this hotel open on his computer.”

“…Please tell me that you’re joking.” You sigh heavily, tossing the tie of the uniform on the bed. You’ve never worn it, and you’re not planning on starting now.

“I’m not. Unfortunately for you, Mammon is indeed an idiot.” Lucifer comes closer and picks up the tie. He approaches you and lifts your collar to put the tie on.

“Hey, Lucy, back off. I’m not wearing this thing.” You frown and try to create some distance between you and the demon, but his fingers in black gloves hold your shirt firmly.

“I’m not asking for your opinion. Now do me a favor and behave for five seconds.” Lucifer says quietly as he looks you in the eyes. His long fingers start to swiftly tighten the tie knot, but you can only focus on his face. It’s so close, that you can almost feel his warm breath on your skin. You try to calm down, but for some reason, the proximity of this man makes your heart beat faster. You can’t bear Lucifer’s gaze any longer, so you give up and close your eyes. You hear a smug smile in Lucifer’s voice as he whispers in your ear: “So what was that about my eyes, Castiel?”

“…They are still creepy,” you say as your hand slowly slides on Lucifer’s body and stops on the small of his back. You smile when you hear Lucifer’s breath hitch. “And you’re standing awfully close to a person who doesn’t attract you at all. It looks like somebody’s lying.”

“…It sure looks like it.” Lucifer’s husky voice is no longer near your ear. His words land on your lips as his hand grabs your tie tighter and pulls you closer. There are only a few inches between your mouths left…

“Lucifer, sir! Everythin’ is packed and ready!” You open your eyes the second you hear Mammon’s voice. Lucifer is already on the other side of the room; he gives more orders to his brother as if nothing happened. This fucker can definitely teleport, because such speed is just insane. You thoughtfully check the tie around your neck, wondering why it reminds you of Mammon’s gold collar so much.

***

As much as you wished to have a ride in Mammon’s car one more time, Lucifer didn’t share your sentiments. He asked Barbatos to prepare a portal in the hall of the hotel beforehand, so you had to use a quicker but much more boring route. One second, and you’re already at RAD, in one of its numerous corridors.

“If you think that there will be no punishment for skipping classes, you’re terribly mistaken.” Lucifer announces, grabbing Mammon by the collar before he manages to escape. “Mammon, I will be in charge of your punishment. We’ll have so much fun together, you’ll love it.” Lucifer smiles widely, sending shivers along yours and Mammon’s spines.

“It was nice knowing you, Mon,” you whisper to him, slightly patting his shoulder.

“Yeah… Well, fuck it. It was worth it.” Mammon whispers back and surprises you by quickly smooching your cheek. He hides his eyes and blushes profusely, making you chuckle softly. You ignore Lucifer’s heavy glances and gently pat Mammon’s hair.

“As for you, Castiel.” Lucifer doesn’t acknowledge your flirting, continuing his speech. “You’ll get your punishment from Barbatos and Diavolo.”

“Excuse me? From them?” You stare at him in shock.

“Exactly. Go to the assembly hall once you’re done with your classes. They’ll be waiting for you.” Lucifer smirks, enjoying your confusion. What a brat. “Mammon. I believe you won’t have any classes for another two hours. So let’s start right away.” Lucifer grabs Mammon once again and drags him away at the speed of sound. You blink only once, but the brothers are already gone.

Well, time to go to class, it seems. You didn’t have much time for your homework lately, so it’ll be a bit embarrassing. You start marching toward your classroom, only to be stopped by another person. It’s hard to get an adequate education when you’re this popular. But it’s a sacrifice that you’re willing to make, especially since you’re stopped by none other than Simeon himself.

“Hi there, Tiel!” The angel smiles at you brightly, instantly making your day much better than it was before.

“Hey, handsome. How are you doing?” You smile back. You’re kind of proud that you can compliment Simeon so casually now. When you first met him, your brain wasn’t capable of such a stunt. And now, look at you, Mr. Smooth.

“I’m doing great. And I hope my favorite human is doing just as well. I have a lot of plans that include you, after all.” Simeon smirks, not as maliciously as Lucifer, but still too self-confidently for an angel. And it’s totally enough to fluster you.

“Yeah? Well, in that case, I’m doing great as well.” You smile awkwardly, trying to regain focus. But Simeon’s smug grin is too distracting. Did it get wider just now? “What kind of plans do you have in mind?”

“Don’t tell me that you forgot.” Simeon frowns slightly, though you can clearly see that he’s joking around.

“It seems I did, sorry,” you reply, doing your best to remember what plans Simeon refers to, but your head is as empty as always.

“You and Beel agreed to go camping with me, Luke and Solomon, remember? While Levi and Mammon weren’t so excited about the idea,” Simeon reminds you, smiling as calmly as always. “Since the last weekend was reserved for the retreat, we didn’t have a chance to go camping. So, we’re planning to go at the end of this week instead. Is it all right with you, or do you have other plans already?”

“I’m completely free, don’t worry.” You smile, feeling a bit disappointed. You secretly hoped that Simeon was talking about some kind of hang-out where you would be completely alone. But you wouldn’t be able to forget about something that important in the first place, so your hopes were misplaced.

“Great! Then I’ll ask others whether they want to join. Maybe Mammon and Levi changed their minds.” Simeon’s smile gets even brighter. “I can’t wait to spend more time with everybody. The retreat was fun, but it was a bit… tense. I think a calming and relaxing atmosphere among nature is exactly what we all need right now.”

“Let’s hope that you’re right and we’ll indeed manage to relax. Because so far, all our plans have turned out to be disasters,” you sigh. Life has taught you to always be prepared for the worst, but the Devildom proved you wrong. Here, what you actually need is not simply “be prepared.” You need to be constantly paranoid, carry all your weapons at all times, and pray that it’ll be enough to deal with yet another calamity. You want to be genuinely excited about this camping trip, but your mind can’t stop imagining all the things that could go wrong.

“Don’t worry, Tiel.” Simeon’s warm hand suddenly lands on your cheek, making you instantly forget all your concerns. “I’ll make sure that you’ll get proper rest this time. Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise. You’re safe with me.”

“Yeah?” You smile, closing your eyes and leaning into the touch. It’s so soothing, and you’re quite sure that Simeon doesn’t use any angelic powers. It’s just… him. His inner light always makes you feel at ease. You take his hand in yours, without moving it away from your face, and kiss his palm. Simeon’s hand slightly twitches, but soon his other hand starts caressing your other cheek as well. The angel holds your face in his hands, giving you long-awaited comfort. But even such tiny solace can’t last forever.

“Tiel! There you are! You’re coming with me, now!” A strong grip on your forearm tears you away from the angel. You don’t even have a chance to say your goodbyes before you’re getting yeeted into some storeroom. Your head bumps into one of the shelves.

“Asmo!” You exclaim loudly, frowning at the sudden change of scene and the pain on the back of your head. “What the fuck? Are you… Wait.” You cut yourself off once you examine the demon more attentively. Asmo doesn’t look as cheerful as always. He’s pale, his make-up is still amazing but not as perfect as always, and his lips are pressed together tightly. Something is not right. “Asmo, did something happen? If it’s about Mammon…”

“No, it’s not about him, Tiel,” Asmo sighs. His trembling hand finds yours and you squeeze him back to show your support. “I wish the tricks of this idiot were the case, but it’s much more serious than that. It’s about… that night.”

Well, at least this time you know what your companion is referring to. “Okay. It’s okay, whatever this is, we’ll figure it out. Tell me what happened.”

“I got a call.” Asmo starts talking as he continues squeezing your hand. “From a company that rented that car to us. One guy works there, he’s one of my most devoted fans, and I always contact him whenever I need a car since he offers good bonuses and the best vehicles. So, he called me and told that some people were asking around about this car. He has no idea who these people were, but they looked serious. And it seems that his boss told them that I was the one who rented it and then paid off a huge sum to compensate for its 'loss'. Tiel,” Asmo’s voice starts to shake. “Someone is on our tail.”

“And I think I have an idea who that might be.” You frown, looking the demon in the eyes. Somewhere in the distance rings a bell that signals the start of a class, but neither you nor Asmo care.

“What?...” Asmo whispers as you tell him about your conversation with Mephisto. “So, you knew that someone from the House of Lords was behind all this, and you didn’t care to tell me?!”

“Asmo, I’m sorry. I meant to, but this whole thing with Beel and Mammon… It was a mess. And I didn’t think that this information was that urgent. But since they found out about the car… This is much more serious than I thought.”

“I can’t believe it…” Asmo scowls but still holds your hand tightly. Maybe the demon finds your touch comforting, despite everything. “Fine, we’ll discuss your lack of judgment some other time. Right now, we need to figure out what to do.”

“Okay, let’s think. What do we know so far? Spicy News and that Lord clearly want to deal with the problem as quietly as possible. There was no news about the deaths of those two security guards, and they didn’t report to the police that the hard drive was stolen. There is an investigation, but it’s unofficial. Which is good news.”

“You think?” Asmo smirks nervously. “If we had to deal with the police, the worst thing they could do is put us in jail. If they chose another route, it means they want to deal with us for good. But their main target is to return the hard drive, for sure. And perhaps, as long as it stays hidden, we have some advantage in our hands. They can’t kill us until they find this hard drive.”

“Are you sure that this thing is that important? There are some proofs of some kind of union between the Lord and Spicy News, but even Mephisto didn’t find anything.”

“That’s what Mephisto told you, but we can’t be certain. Besides, that’s already plenty.” Asmo looks down on your intertwined hands, deep in thought. “If their readers learn about their connection to the House of Lords, their reputation will be quite ruined. Right now, they act like an independent source of news that is not afraid to tell the uncomfortable truth, even if it’s an indirect critique of Lord Diavolo. But if their political roots are revealed, a huge number of their fans will turn their backs on them. And this Lord will lose a huge investment, in both money and time.”

“Okay, this hard drive is a threat, fine. But is it that serious that you believe they can attempt to… What exactly? Kill you? One of the Rulers? That’s ridiculous, Asmo.” You try to calm the demon down, putting your second hand on his shoulder.

“Killing is not the only way to deal with somebody. But I think my death can easily be in their plans.” Asmo smiles sadly. “When we first arrived at the Devildom, basically the only two demons who welcomed us here were Lord Diavolo and Barbatos. The rest of the demons were highly against the presence of the former angels. I think you won’t be surprised that nobles rarely change their traditional views, no matter how much time has passed. Some Lords support us, no doubt, but there are a lot of powerful demons who don’t like us, to put it lightly. And if any of them decides that I, one of the Rulers, is a threat to their plans… My title won’t be much of an obstacle to them, if they kill me stealthily.”

“Then that’s the solution!” You squeeze his shoulder and look him in the eyes. “They have the upper hand as long as nobody besides us knows about their schemes. Fuck Mephisto. We’ll find someone else, I bet you know a journalist or two. Once we ruin their reputation, they will be busy saving it instead of hunting us down.”

“No! We won’t do this!” Asmo instantly protests, looking scared. He grabs you tighter and says: “We don’t know whether they are aware of your involvement into this. It’s not so easy to get to me, they need to act carefully. But, Tiel, you’re a much easier target. Especially with your recklessness. If they learn that we are looking for someone to write this article, they’ll have to act. And who do you think will be their first target?! Or imagine that we managed to publish all the information we’ve learned. You think their company will go down in an instant? You think they’re going to jail as soon as people learn the truth? No, they’ll have power for long enough to get their revenge. And once again, who do you think they’ll prioritize: the Ruler, whose death is more dangerous and troublesome to achieve, or a human, who is much easier to kill, and it will ruin the life of the Ruler in question?!” Asmodeus barely manages to keep his voice at a reasonable volume and avoid shouting. He looks really nervous and scared, his hands hold you tight and close.

“Hey, Asmo, come on, no need to worry that much,” you murmur to him softly, attempting to calm the demon down. You hug him, and he immediately hugs you back.

“I don’t want to risk your life, Tiel,” Asmo whispers. “It’s very dangerous for me to be an enemy of one of the Lords. But it will be a literal death sentence for you. You’re under the protection of all of us, I understand that. But there are so many ways to get to you, we can’t predict them all…”

“Okay, I get it. A public reveal is not an option anymore. I won’t push it if you don’t want to do this. Let’s go to Diavolo then. Or Lucifer, whoever you prefer. Well, actually, if either of them learns about this, the other one will be involved as well, so there is no real choice here. We’ll go to them and tell everything. As simple as that. We may not have solid enough proofs in our hands, but they’ll listen to us. Especially Lucifer, he won’t ignore your concerns. Maybe he’ll even interrogate Mephisto to learn who that Lord is,” you offer, holding the demon in your embrace.

“You… Will you be angry if I tell you that I don’t want to tell them anything?” Asmo lifts his head and looks at you seriously, examining your reaction.

“Depends on your reasoning. So far, it looks like the wisest option for us.”

“And maybe it is. It is wise to let the strong and mighty deal with the problems we created, isn’t it?” Asmo murmurs as his hands slowly caress you back. “I’m afraid to act openly to avoid putting your life in anger. But I also don’t want to go to Lucifer or Lord Diavolo, even if it’s the safest option not only for me but also for you.”

“Why?” You ask calmly, already having your suspicions. Lucifer is not the only demon with Pride. Jealousy, Wrath, and Greed are also not that rare. Asmodeus is the embodiment of Lust, but he can combine all the sins of his brothers for the right reason. Or the right person. Or the wrong person.

“Remember how Lord Diavolo called me the most competent out of all my brothers for saving you?” Asmo smiles, regaining his confidence. Your embrace calmed him down after all. “I felt so happy. I am the most beautiful out of them all, obviously. But I’ve never been the best. I’ve never been the most powerful. And if I want to keep you safe, it won’t be enough to run to Lucifer at the first signs of danger. I want to be able to protect you on my own. How can I demand that you treat me like I’m the only one for you if I don’t act the part?” The demon stares at you; you see possessive sparks in his eyes. “I’m not an angel anymore, Tiel. And I can’t be your guardian angel, no matter how much I want it. But I can still guard you. I want to do everything in my power to protect you from harm. But it’s me who must do this. Not Lord Diavolo. Not Lucifer. Me. I won’t shift the responsibility of protecting you to someone else. I panicked at first, but now I understand. I just need to keep you safe. And I’ll do it, don’t worry.”

You hold in a heavy sigh. There you go again; another demon wants to protect you against your will. Everybody around you is becoming overprotective. Besides Satan. He seems to be the only one who gets your yearning for independence. Lucifer also acts normally around you, but only because he doesn’t care about you a lot; he’s very overprotective when it comes to his family.

You understand the reason why the guys started acting this way. But it doesn’t mean that you’ll accept it.

“Asmo, I get everything you’re trying to say. You want to deal with it on your own, okay. I also don’t want to tell Lucifer or Diavolo that we killed two demons in cold blood, and now one of the Lords possibly wants to kill us. Fuck those guys, we can clean up our mess ourselves. But if you think that I’ll allow you to do all this alone, think again. We’re in this together. Till the end. Either you accept it, or I go to Diavolo right now.”

“But…” Asmo tries to protest, but you’re serious.

“No buts, Asmodeus. We’re in this together. Promise me.”

“…If you promise me to be careful. I mean it.” Asmo frowns, his arms hold you tightly.

“All right. I promise.”

“Good. Then I promise as well.”

“Good.” You nod, looking the demon in the eyes. “I thought it would be more difficult to convince you.”

“I didn’t have much hope that you’d allow me to just be a hero in the first place.” Asmo smirks and puts his head on your shoulder in a tired motion. “So, my plan was to charm Mephisto and get the information out of him. Then deal with the Lord who is behind this.”

“By 'deal' you mean…”

“Yes.” Asmo responds immediately, not a hint of hesitation in his voice.

“You know, Mephisto was very convincing when he was preaching about the threats of potential conflict between the Rulers and the House of Lords…” You say thoughtfully, not sure if Asmo’s idea is that good. The more you think, the more you understand how dangerous it is to kill the Lord. How powerful are these Lords even? Shit, you may need to learn how to wield these fire powers sooner than expected.

“They should’ve learned to respect us long ago. They had all the time in the world, but some of them decided to stay in the past. It was their choice that I respected, until they started to threaten our reputation. And now they are coming after us,” Asmo says firmly. It seems you won’t be able to convince him to change his mind. Oh, well, murder it is. “Don’t worry, we’ll do it quietly, nobody has to know.”

“I think somebody actually has to know…” You reply carefully.

“Who?”

“Levi and Satan. I’ve already dragged them into this. Levi saw some of the files, and Satan was the one who contacted Mephisto for me. If Mephistopheles decides to betray us, he can mention not only me but Satan as well. I think it will be fair if we tell them everything. They can be in danger as well.” 

“But there is a chance that they’ll decide to tell everything to Lucifer or Lord Diavolo…”

“Not Satan. And I think that if I ask Levi nicely, he’ll keep my secret. He’s loyal,” you say confidently.

Asmo hesitates but agrees after giving it some thought. “Fine, but that’s it, we won’t involve anyone else.”

“Deal.” You nod. Now that you have a plan of action, the situation doesn’t seem so dire. Your brain was on high alert this whole conversation, but now you can afford to relax a bit. And acknowledge that you have a beautiful demon in your hands. It would be a shame to miss this opportunity and not steal a kiss or two. So you go for it, gently covering his lips with yours.

“What are you doing, silly?” Asmo giggles, clearly not as stressed out as at the start of the discussion. Much better, that’s how you like to see him.

“Sealing the deal,” you reply and go for another kiss. Then another. And another. The demon has to lightly push you away to return you to reality.

“By the way, about deals.” Asmo smiles and takes your hand in his once again. “I think we should make a pact.”

“Are you sure?” You move your head away to look at the demon. “I mean, I obviously want it, but this is hardly an appropriate place to make such important decisions. I was planning to take you somewhere more romantic.”

“That’s very sweet of you, but right now we need to be practical. Beautiful gestures can wait for better times. I heard from Beel that the pacts protect you. Even if they do it inconsistently, that’s better than nothing. So I want you to have my pact as well, maybe you’ll manage to use it.” Asmo says calmly, fondling the back of your hand with his fingers. “I want you to have a part of me imprinted on your body. A mere thought makes me all excited. Come on, honey, don’t keep me waiting.”

Your soft smile quickly turns into a grimace of pain when Asmo’s pact mark starts appearing on your back. The demon holds you, not allowing you to lose your balance. The pain from the new pact is as brutal as ever, but you’re kind of getting used to it.

“That’s it, baby, good job.” Asmo caresses your body and kisses your face, wishing he could take away your pain. “You know, when I was an angel, I had healing powers too, just like Simeon. I always hated to see others in pain, no matter how insignificant that pain was. That’s the only angelic feature I genuinely miss, though. When I became a demon, all compassion slowly disappeared, even toward my brothers. But when I was holding you in my embrace the day I saved you from that statue, I started to feel it again, toward you. So, my dear,” Asmo gently smiles and smooches your lips one last time. “I may not be able to heal you anymore, but I’ll do everything to prevent you from hurting. Even if it means that I need to butcher some mighty Lord.”

***

The rest of the day at RAD passed by uneventfully. The lack of prepared homework made some classes more challenging than they should’ve been, but other than that, it went smoothly. It’s finally time to face your punishment from Diavolo and Barbatos, so you head to the assembly hall. You’re not too concerned about the whole thing, something tells you that Lucifer would be a much worse option.

The assembly hall looks just like you remembered it. Right now the room feels rather empty, with only two demons inside it. Diavolo and Barbatos smile politely at you once you approach the table they’re sitting at. They are both preoccupied with student council documents.

“Castiel! Welcome, welcome! It seems today was a rather calm day, isn’t it?” Diavolo grins widely as his golden eyes inspect you for any signs of injuries or mental distress. You remind yourself to watch your tongue around him.

“And it seems that the uniform is intact as well, what a relief.” Barbatos smiles teasingly.

“Yeah, so, I came to get my punishment. What exactly are you planning?” you ask, looking around the room. What are the consequences of skipping classes in the demonic world? At least you don’t see any torturing devices around.

“Oh, it would be nice if you helped us with these documents, that’s all.” Diavolo smiles and points at the pile of papers. “Just sort it by date and alphabetical order. Barbatos and I will handle the rest.”

“That’s… all?” You don’t know what you expected, but definitely not this. “I mean, I’m pretty sure that Mammon is being whipped by Lucifer at the moment. So it feels strange to be treated so… kindly in comparison.”

“Lucifer definitely has a unique way of educating his brothers, but it’s his style, and this is mine. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than working with documentation.” Diavolo looks at the pile of papers with deep hatred, but he quickly hides it behind a friendly smile when he returns his gaze to you. Hm.

“You have a point. I’m surprised that Barbatos is helping as well.”

“Young Master suddenly set a very harsh deadline. So I feel the need to help, otherwise, he’ll work himself to death trying to meet the terms.” Barbatos sighs quietly.

“Sounds brutal. All right, I’ll help however I can.” You agree and pick up the pile you need to sort. The design is rather simple, you quickly find all the info you need. The demons also return to work, silently looking through hundreds of documents. The lack of small talk makes the whole process rather boring, but calming in a way.

Your energy starts running out after several hours of non-stop sorting. Your pile didn’t become smaller, no matter how much you worked. The demons were adding more and more papers on top of old ones, the number of documents seems simply endless.

Barbatos didn’t exaggerate when he said that Diavolo could work himself to death. You didn’t see the prince for several days only, but he looks so tired and exhausted. A very drastic change from the retreat. No matter how important this deadline is, he needs a break. Even a small rest can do wonders. You think about the possibility of using that magical tea, which made you fall asleep in an instant, but you doubt that Barbatos will agree to drug his boss. So, you should use a different approach.

“Barbatos, can you please make some tea? I’m really thirsty,” you ask, distracting the butler from some document.

“Of course.” He immediately stands up, ready to leave. “Young Master, do you wish some tea as well?”

“Yes, please. With honey, if possible.” Diavolo gives Barbatos a weak smile, not moving his gaze away from the papers.

The butler finally leaves the room, you have several minutes before he returns. Diavolo will never agree to take a break if his friend is here, but now when you’re alone…

You swiftly move toward Diavolo and land on the chair next to him. He immediately notices you and turns to face your persona with a slightly brighter smile. “Do you have any questions?”

“Yeah, actually. Do you wanna go on a date?” you suggest casually, looking him in the eyes.

Diavolo almost tears the paper in his hands from surprise, but stops himself just in time. He gives you a charming and bashful smile, looking uncertain. “I… Of course, I would be glad to… But I need to deal with other matters first. As much as I’d love to spend time with you, there is a lot of work that requires my attention.”

“I won’t take much of your time, I promise. We’ll just get a breather, that’s all. Please.” You gently put your hand on top of his, slightly caressing the back of his hand. The prince has to shut his eyes for a second to regain control over his emotions. “Let’s leave these documents for now and go somewhere. I bet you didn’t eat for a long time. We’ll both have much more energy after that. Besides, Barbatos needs a break as well. Leave him a note that he can rest for a while, and let’s go.”

“…I think I need to revise the schedule of your classes. You’re clearly getting too many Seduction lessons. Otherwise, why are you so good at tempting me?” Diavolo smirks, squeezing your hand in his.

“Can I take that as a yes?” You smile back, getting impatient. Barbatos is about to return.

“Fine, you won. Let’s go.” Diavolo laughs softly, getting up and pulling you by the hand. He quickly leaves a note for Barbatos and swiftly teleports you both to the city. You appear in the middle of the main street, full of restaurants and shops for all tastes. The prince disguises his persona with the same spell he used at the party, so you can avoid any unnecessary attention. Diavolo is much more cheerful now, he curiously looks around in an attempt to figure out where he wants to go first. “Where do you want to have dinner? Hell’s Kitchen? Ristorante Six? They both are excellent.”

“I had something… more common in mind.” You reply, not being in the mood for something fancy. Hell’s Kitchen is not as upscale as Ristorante Six, but you just visited it with Beel. “Look, over there! Headless Café, sounds fun, isn’t it?”

“Oh! Never heard of it! All right, let’s go!” Diavolo joyfully marches toward the café without letting go of your hand. He looks like a Labrador who finally got to go for a walk after the whole day at home. If the prince had a tail, it would wiggle endlessly. You smile softly, squeezing his hand and feeling its warmth. You and Diavolo may have a couple of disagreements, but one thing is certain: you both have a soft spot for each other.

The Headless Café turns out to be a cozy little place, full of wooden decorations and rattan furniture. The only unusual and very Devildom-ish detail is the number of human-world guillotines standing here and there, and giant axes hanging on the walls. Other than that, everything is very cozy and relaxing; a great place for a date with the future Demon King.

“What an interesting place! I bet the food here will be delicious as well!” Diavolo couldn’t be happier. He quickly finds a free table and pulls out a chair for you. Well, you’re not really used to these kinds of gestures, but you decide to play along. Your primary goal is to entertain Diavolo, after all. Discussions about the appropriate etiquette can wait.

You both settle in and look through the menu. You choose the meals that look less alien to you, while Diavolo is in the mood for experiments. He makes an order and starts waiting, practically buzzing with energy.

“I have to admit, you were right: I feel so much better!” Diavolo grins, happily looking at you. You knew that the prince was a fun-loving fella, but it’s the first time you’ve seen him so content. Shit, it kind of makes your heart melt a bit.

“Yeah, you definitely needed a break. By the way, what’s up with this amount of work? It’s not normal, right?”

“Yes, indeed. Just as Barbatos said: I’ve set a deadline, and now I have to work overtime to do everything. But it’ll be worth it, I’m sure.” Diavolo smiles, looking carefree despite everything.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning some kind of retreat 2.0.” You sigh, hoping that you’re wrong. The first retreat was already too much, you’re not sure that you’ll survive the second one.

“No, of course not! But I can’t tell all the details, it’ll spoil the surprise!” Diavolo laughs heartily.

“So we’re in for a surprise… Okay, then. Just make sure to rest more. Or should I swing by your castle to check on you once in a while?”

“…I would love that, actually.” Diavolo blushes slightly, clearly thinking about something else instead of the proper rest. “I want you to know that you’re always welcome in the castle. Feel free to stop by whenever you want.”

“Very well. You’re welcome at the House of Lamentation too, by the way. Well, maybe I can’t say for the whole House, but you’re definitely welcome in my room.” You smirk mockingly, watching the prince blush again. It’s a real torture to look at the handsome man who is clearly into you and lack the capability to fuck him right here, right now. Diavolo agreed to join you for dinner, but he won’t go further than that while he is still not done with his duties. What a bummer.

“I’ll remember that, Castiel.” Diavolo smiles, looking extremely happy.

***

You returned home when it was already quite late. Diavolo and you had a lovely dinner, but you didn’t even get a kiss, so you’re feeling rather down at the moment. You both returned to Barbatos shortly after the dinner and finished sorting all the damn documents. Whatever Diavolo is planning, it better be worth all this hustle.

So now you have only one desire: go to your room and fall asleep. No doubt, you’ll be having nightmares about financial reports and applications from students.

But you can’t. There is a very important task you need to attend to. You feel rather guilty, actually. No matter how crazy your life gets, you have no right to not visit Cerberus. You need to go to him as soon as possible and properly apologize. And thank him as well. His pact saved you for the second time. The dog deserves fitting appreciation.

So you run straight to Cerberus, jumping over the steps of the giant stairs that lead to the underground chamber. Cerbie is really easy to find, thanks to his sheer size. So as soon as you spot him calmly lying on the floor, you jump straight on his back and start immediately petting him. The beast barks at you joyfully, greeting you. His big tail starts swinging left and right.

“Cerbie! I’m so sorry! I wish I could come sooner, but you know how these damn demons are. If only they were as good as you, the world would be so much better.” You mumble, energetically ruffling his soft, dark fur. “Let me apologize, okay? I’m gonna sing to you as long as you want, deal? Which song do you want: something dynamic or you’re in the mood for something sad?”

“So that’s how you won him over. By signing to him. Never could’ve guessed.” A sudden intrusion into your very private conversation with Cerbie almost makes you lose your balance and fall from the dog’s back. Lucifer is standing nearby, levitating a giant piece of meat with his magic. He casually puts it down in front of Cerberus, and the beast starts immediately eating it with great pleasure. “I usually visit him in the dead of night and send all the food with magic during the day. I guess that’s why we’ve never met each other here. I changed my usual routine for one day, and here you are.”

“Hm, it almost sounds like you were waiting for me.” You smirk, quickly calming down.

“I wasn’t, but it doesn’t matter.” Lucifer sighs, tossing the second big chunk of meat to the other head.

“Since we’ve met each other here, I think we should discuss your treatment of Cerberus.” You slide down on the floor and cross your arms over the chest, ready for an argument.

“Really? Is something the matter?” Lucifer smirks, looking at you with amusement.

“You feed him quite well and keep him clean, that’s great. But every dog needs to go for a walk once in a while. And it seems that you just keep poor Cerbie underground the whole time. That’s awful. If you have no time to go outside with him, create some kind of exit from this place. I’ll go for a walk with him myself,” you suggest, feeling kind of strange about the whole situation. You’ve never thought that you would discuss the nuances of taking care of Cerberus with Lucifer. It’s wild that you now have the shared responsibility of taking care of a hellish dog. You’re Cerbie’s Master, after all. And Lucifer is his Owner, it seems you have to cooperate after all.

“I know that you don’t think highly of me, but do you really think that I keep him here without giving him a chance to see the outside world?” Lucifer frowns. “In order to show you how wrong you are, I’ll make an exception and take you with us today.”

“Take where, exactly?” you ask, watching Lucifer approach one of the walls with red runes all over it. He channels the magic into the wall, filing the runes with his power. Soon, the portal appears, growing larger and larger, just big enough for Cerberus to walk through. As soon as the portal is ready, Cerbie jumps on his four feet and dashes toward the wall. Once the beast disappears, Lucifer turns to you:

“Let’s go. There are no other demons around, but I still don’t want to leave Cerberus without supervision."

“…So you can teleport! I knew it!” You point at the demon, celebrating that your suspicions were correct.

“I can, but not as easily as Lord Diavolo or Barbatos. Barbatos is still the best at creating big portals for several people at once, so I usually ask him to create something stable.” The demon replies. It seems he is in a good mood today, he answers your questions without getting annoyed, which is a rare occasion. “But don’t worry, this is an old portal, it’s as stable as any of Barbatos’ creations.”

“Okay…” you reply, slowly approaching the portal. You can’t see what’s on the other side, but that’s what makes it intriguing. Without giving it much thought, you dive into the portal.

Once your eyes adjust, you understand that you’re standing on the edge of the pine forest. Giant, tall trees cover half of the scenery. The other half is occupied by a long, calm river. You see a large field on the other bank and hear a distant booming sound from Cerberus’ paws as he runs around the area. This is a great place for a dog, he can even play in the water if he wants. And not a single soul who could ruin the fun. Perfect.

“So, what do you think?” Lucifer quietly approaches you from behind. You turn around to face him and notice how relaxed he looks. Perhaps it’s a safe space not only for Cerberus, but for him as well. And he has let you in.

“It’s amazing. It seems you’re taking care of Cerberus better than I thought.” You smile and start moving toward the river. The demon walks nearby.

“I assume you are not planning to apologize for false accusations?” Lucifer asks, but there is no coldness in his voice.

“Definitely not.” You smirk and sit near the water. You don’t know how to swim, and you almost drowned once, but it doesn’t stop you from admiring the river from a safe distance. Lucifer settles right next to you, it doesn’t bother him that he sat on the dirty ground. “Your fancy clothes will get all dirty, Lucy. Conjure some rug or something.”

“It’s fine as it is,” he replies as he watches Cerberus running around on the field. You fall silent, also returning your full attention to the dog.

Who knows how long you’ve been sitting there, before Cerberus finally decides that he burned off all his energy. The beast returns to you and lies down, offering you to lean on his warm back. You accept his offer, while Lucifer continues sitting by himself.

“What was that about the apology?” he suddenly asks, preventing you from falling asleep in the pleasant warmth.

“Hm?” You reply sleepily, it takes you some time to understand what Lucifer means.

“You promised to sing a song, if I’m not mistaken. I’d say it’s a great time for it.” The demon replies, thoughtfully looking at the river.

“…If you want to hear my singing, simply say so.” You smirk and straighten up to avoid falling asleep again. “But it’s not beautiful or anything. So don’t get your hopes up.”

Lucifer doesn’t reply, simply waiting for you. You lazily think about the song you want to hear right now. You smile and start singing:

“Oh, all the money that e'er I spent
I spent it in good company
And all the harm that e'er I've done
Alas, it was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all”

Lucifer sits quietly, listening to the song. He looks more peaceful than ever.

“Oh, all the comrades that e'er I've had
Are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I've had
Would wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all
Good night and joy be with you all”

The serene atmosphere takes over your mind and softly drags you into the dream world. As you fall asleep, you feel the warmth from Cerberus’ inner fire and Lucifer’s coat.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Rising up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

Survivor – Eye of the Tiger

You wake up in your own bed to the annoying beeping of your alarm clock. You blink slowly, waiting for your brain to start working. Did Lucifer carry you here? He probably just levitated you with his magic, but still. If you assume that he actually was holding you in his arms, it means that literally every demon, except for Levi, Satan, and Belphie, manhandled you one way or another. Yeah, the Devildom is definitely a place full of opportunities and new experiences, just not in the way you thought it would be…

You sigh heavily and get up; it’s time to start a new day. It’s Friday, so it means that you have a little time before classes. Which is very handy, since you have quite a lot of things you should take care of. First and foremost - your powers. Well, more like the powers of the pacts, but it’s yours now anyway. And it means that you need to know how to control them. Currently, you are aware of all the powers except for Asmo’s pact. It’s also possible that the marks are capable of doing something else. But despite a very long history of relationships between humans and demons, you can’t find a single trace of cases that would be similar to yours.

Whatever is happening is unique, which is rather concerning. You don’t know what to expect, and you don’t think that the surprises that are hidden within these marks are good news. These powers are cool, yes, but you don’t know how they affect your body. It’s already established that you don’t have any magic within you. You are simply not built to do the things you did earlier. If you managed to control Mammon’s pact and decided to use it to run super-fast, would it destroy your bones and muscles? The same goes for Beel’s pact, which gives you strength. You didn’t get hurt when you activated those two pacts, but maybe you didn’t use them long enough for them to hurt you?

You smirk while thinking about Belphie’s mark: this telepathic connection could be potentially harmful to your brain. That would explain a lot of decisions you’ve been making lately.

So far, the safest options seem to be Levi’s and Cerberus’ pacts. It looks like they just envelop you with some protective shields, without influencing you directly. And in addition, Cerbie’s mark summons fire out of thin air, once again, without engaging your body. At least it seems to be the case. You still know too little about magic, so you can’t predict all the outcomes, no matter how hard you try. Perhaps Solomon could give you some advice, but your uniqueness makes you doubt it. Well, it’s certainly worth a try, but not now. Now you’re in the mood to experiment on your own.

After finishing with your morning routine, you thoughtfully look in the direction of the bathtub. Ability to breathe underwater… Not so useful in combat, but you have to start with something. You remember Belphie’s snarky commentaries about your obsession with flames. You definitely want to be able to summon fireballs as soon as possible, but he was right: it’s too risky to test your luck in the House. With Belphie still locked inside the attic… Yeah, bad idea. Levi’s pact it is.

You start filling the tub, mentally preparing yourself for a dive. You are not scared of water, even after that episode in the lake. But you don’t know how you will act once you start lacking air. Perhaps it would be wiser to ask someone to assist you, just in case. But it’s a rare occasion when you’re finally left alone, in peace. You don’t want to ruin your long-awaited solitude, so you decide to proceed alone.

The tub is finally full, and the clear water is waiting for you. You take off your t-shirt and get on your knees, ready to hold your breath. So far, it seems like these pacts grant you their power only when you put your life in danger, including Levi’s. His mark activated when you started drowning. So, you need to recreate a similar event. Unfortunately, nobody said that controlling demonic powers would be easy.

Well, here goes nothing.

You don’t give yourself any time for hesitation, swiftly lowering your head under the water. You instinctively hold your breath, simply waiting for it to run out. No matter how hard you try, you can’t just let go and let the water into your lungs, even if that’s what’s needed for the mark to work. So you wait until it won’t be possible to resist water any longer.

It takes approximately one minute for you to start twitching from the lack of air. You try to focus on Levi’s mark, trying to activate it, just before your body gives up and lets the water in. After several seconds of panic, you lift your head above the tub, gasping for air and coughing. Shit, that was horrible. But the worst thing is that it didn’t work. The mark didn’t respond to you, despite you being in danger.

Well, to be fair, you weren’t in real danger. You could lift your head any time you wanted. Could it be the reason? In any case, it doesn’t matter. Your goal is to consciously control this power at any time you want. If it doesn’t want to activate on its own, you’ll make it. And the danger of drowning will help you. Allegedly.

So, you dive again. And again. And again… By the tenth time, you kind of get used to the feeling of water in your lungs. It’s excruciating, but at least you can now spend two seconds longer fighting the urge to raise your head. Unfortunately, the pact mark stays silent. You dip into the tub once again, thinking about your options. Maybe you need to change your tactic? Meditation could help you feel the flow of demonic energy inside the mark. You felt it that one time when you controlled Mammon. It was so pure that you were not sure whether it was demonic energy. It wasn’t hostile to you, unlike basically every single magical thing in the Devildom…

You feel how your body betrays you, so you brace yourself, ready for water to enter your lungs. But the pain doesn’t come, as you feel someone’s tight grip on your shoulder. You notice a very faint warmth from the pact mark as someone drags you backwards. One strong pull, and you’re breathing heavily, adapting to the air. Your hand brushes off the hair from your eyes as you blink and look at the demon beside you. It’s Levi, he looks even paler than usual. He crouches near you, still holding your shoulder.

“W-what are you?... Are you okay?!” Levi asks nervously; his wide eyes inspect you for any kind of damage. Damn, you really freaked him out.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” you force out a smile. The warmth from the pact disappeared as soon as you left the water. But it’s progress. So, did the touch help? It looks like it. But did it help because Levi was scared and wanted to save you, or just the touch itself helps you activate the mark? Was the success based on Levi’s feelings or the physical contact was enough to wake up the mark? “Levi, I need your help.”

“Wha-? I-I mean, yeah, sure. But can you explain what is happening?” The demon stutters as he removes his hand from your body and tries to move further away from you. You frown and grab his arm, making Levi squeak. He trembles as you firmly put his hand back on your shoulder. “C-Cas, what…”

“I’m very close to solving a very important problem, Levi. I want to activate your pact mark. All you need to do is keep your hand on my body, okay?” You try to hide your impatience, but you can’t wait to check your theory.

“No-no-no, I can’t…” Levi tries to lift his hand from your shoulder, blushing and shaking his head, but you continue holding him. The demon panics even more than when he saw you standing on your knees with your head in the tub.

“Why?” You clench your teeth to avoid saying something rude. His fear of touching you is cute at times, but seriously, you’ve even danced together. You don’t ask him for a fucking handjob or something, Levi can easily handle this task.  

“Because you are… You… I-I mean, just look at you!” He screeches, desperately trying to escape your grip. You lift your brow and look down. And roll your eyes in frustration. You already forgot that you took off your t-shirt. So now you’re basically pressing Levi’s hand against your naked torso. The demon already looks like he’s about to pass out. Yeah, he won’t help you even if you put something on, he’s too freaked out. Goddammit.

You sigh and frown in disappointment. Then it strikes you: you can still use Levi for your experiment. Just not when he’s conscious. An evil smirk on your lips makes Levi tremble and try to tear his arm out of your grasp one more time. But you pull him with all your force, making him almost drop right on you. Your arms quickly hug and press his body to yours, holding tightly.

You smile as you examine the flustered demon in your arms. It should be easy to make him pass out, you’ve already done it at the party. It will be so much easier to experiment with the pact’s power when you don’t have to deal with Levi’s emotional breakdowns. A kiss or two should do the trick.

“A-alliance!” Levi squeaks, hiding his face from you. “You promised that you wouldn’t hurt me!”  

“Hurt you? But I’m not gonna…” You shut up as you see a little tear on Levi’s red cheek. You feel shivers down your spine as you realize what you’re doing. Your arms immediately release Levi, letting him jump on his feet and run to the other side of the room within moments. For fuck’s sake. You’ve almost broken one of your rules: never force anything romantic or sexual on somebody. Even if it’s just a kiss. Never take away anyone’s freedom of choice. You shake your head, feeling angry at yourself. Your pursuit of power almost caused irreversible damage to your principles. And Levi, of all creatures, definitely doesn’t deserve such treatment.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, still sitting on the floor. The scared gaze of orange eyes will haunt you for a very long time. “I’ll never do anything against your will ever again, I promise. That’s… that was disgusting of me.”

“It’s okay.” Levi relaxes the instant he hears your apology. This silly boy forgives you too easily. “I just… It’s not that I’m totally against… It’s just… I-I need more time, okay?” He mutters, blushing once again. You silently tilt your head, examining the demon. Levi’s innocence and inexperience evoke something dark within you. Part of you wants to spoil and break him, turn him into a moaning mess. But it won’t bring you satisfaction unless Levi wants the same thing. You will never take him by force. Consent and mutual passion are the sexiest things imaginable, after all.

You sigh and slowly get up. You find your t-shirt lying on the floor nearby and put it on. Levi visibly relaxes even more once you cover your torso with fabric.

“Why are you here? I thought only Mammon had a habit to break into other people’s bathrooms.” You decide to distract you both with a small talk.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Levi says loudly, ignoring your phrase about the bathroom. So, he won’t acknowledge that he just burst into your private space? Maybe you should view him less like an innocent boy and more like the demon that he is. The guy may be a virgin, or at least act like one, but that doesn’t mean that his thoughts or actions are always pure. The quiet ones are usually the freakiest, after all. “Asmo texted me that we should gather in his room, for some reason. It seems that Satan will be there too. Do you know what’s this about?”

“Unfortunately, I do.” You sigh and follow Levi to Asmo’s room.

Both Asmo and Satan are already here, sitting in the pink armchairs and waiting for you.

“Finally!” Asmodeus exclaims as he sees you and Levi enter the room. “Tiel, why is your hair wet?”

“Let me guess: one of my brothers infiltrated your bathroom again?” Satan smirks, lazily resting his hand against his cheek. “I could put a very effective curse on your door if you want. Peace and quiet are guaranteed.”

“Yeah? Will this curse protect me from your ‘infiltration’, Satan?” You smirk back, settling on Asmo’s bed. Levi lands in the hanging egg chair nearby, immediately taking the pose that must be extremely harmful to his spine.

“No.” Satan smiles cunningly. Well, at least he is honest.

“Okay, guys, stop flirting, we have important business to discuss.” Asmo snaps his fingers to attract attention to his persona.

“We didn’t…” Satan instantly tries to protest, but Asmo couldn’t care less about his excuses.

“Remember when we contacted Mephisto for one secret business?” he asks, capturing Levi’s and Satan’s attention entirely. Asmo keeps talking, telling his brothers all the details of your little mission. He tells everything about Mephisto’s findings and the fact that some Lord may be on your tail. You let him lead the conversation, adding some details from time to time. After Asmo finishes talking, the whole room falls silent.

“That’s… very bad.” Levi sighs, nervously twisting his fingers.

“I’m glad that you decided to tell us everything.” Satan says slowly, deep in thought. “I assume we’re the only ones who knows?”

“Yeah,” Asmo nods, looking much less cheerful than usual. The more you discuss this whole situation, the more dangerous it seems.

“How can you be so sure?” Levi asks, biting his lips. “I mean, Lucifer, Lord Diavolo and Barbatos know everything. And I mean everything. Even if they don’t, they’ll learn about it eventually, that’s just how it always goes. I think it would be best to just tell them. The punishment will be brutal, but it’s still better than risk spoiling the relationship between the House of Lords and us.”

“I disagree.” Satan shakes his head.

“Satan, I understand that you don’t want to go to Lucifer…”

“That’s not the point.” Satan shakes his head once again, frowning as he hears that name. “If we tell them everything, they’ll act officially and publicly. You think Lord Diavolo will just imprison this Lord and nobody will know? Or he’ll kill them quietly? That is not his style. He’ll be too furious for that, it’s treason of the highest order.” You remember the four students who attacked you, whose bodies will never be found by anybody. It seems that Diavolo plays his role of ‘cheerful, but secretly stubborn and quick-tempered prince’ a little bit too well. Even Satan doesn’t consider his future prince to be able to act cunningly. You wonder if anyone besides you even knows about Diavolo’s ability to see through lies. After all, Lucifer tried to trick his prince and hide Belphie. If nobody knows… Then why the hell did Diavolo tell you about his power? Meanwhile, Satan continues: “And after he publicly executes the traitor, it’s hard to predict what other Lords will do. It would be best for everybody if this mysterious Lord suddenly died just as mysteriously. We’ll handle this without them.”

“Wait, nobody said anything about killing!” Levi waves his arms nervously.

“Sorry, Levi, but that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” Asmo smiles sadly at him. “It’s the only way to protect Tiel. We don’t know what this Lord is capable of, so maybe me, you, and Satan are not in danger. It may be too risky to target us, but Tiel is the exchange student. They’ll kill him, if not for stealing that stupid hard drive, then to destroy the exchange program. We must protect him, don’t you agree?”

“…Yeah.” Levi lets out a defeated sigh, completely giving up. “So, our plan is to ‘interrogate’ Mephisto and kill this Lord? Wow, guys, what a brilliant plan! And how will we make Mephisto not tell on us? Do you really think that he’ll just let us kill one of the Lords and won’t interfere after Asmo’s charms disappear?”

“We could always kill him as well,” you shrug.

“No! Not everything can be solved by killing!” Levi hisses at you, but without hostility. A major improvement from your first interaction with him. Levi definitely likes you much more now. “You clearly didn’t watch TSL attentively enough! In the sixth volume…”

“Well, actually, a lot of problems can be solved by killing…” Satan interrupts Levi’s mumbling. “But I would prefer to avoid killing Mephisto. He’s useful. Levi is right: we need to find a way to keep his mouth shut. And the best way is by blackmailing him.”

“But what kind of secrets are that horrible?” Asmo hesitates. It seems that he supports your idea more, which is kind of heartwarming. “We are speaking about THE Mephistopheles, the main bootlicker of Lord Diavolo and the noble to the bone. He’ll either tell everything to his future king or to other Lords. Either way, he won’t keep quiet.”

“Not if we’ll make him our accomplice,” Satan smirks widely.

“Our… Are you insane?!” Asmo raises his voice. “This whole operation will be dangerous enough already, and you want to add the demon who will betray us the first chance he gets?!”

“I think the combination of your powers and a little bit of persuasion will be enough to control Mephisto all the way.” Satan responds calmly. He suddenly turns to you: “What do you think?”

“Mephisto can be potentially useful, I agree,” you respond, still thinking about all the possible outcomes. “He can help us approach the Lord without raising suspicion and provide us with useful info on the spot. But it can all go downhill very easily. Too easily. I would agree if Asmo was able to keep Mephisto under his spell all the time, but I already saw how Asmo’s power works. It's quite limited, he won’t be able to charm Mephisto for a long period of time. It’s brilliant for interrogation, but not for a long operation.”

“Well…” Levi joins the conversation, speaking very quietly. “There is someone who can help us with this…” You immediately turn your head toward Levi, making him nervous. “I-I mean… There is a person who can make Asmo stronger… Much stronger…”

“We will not involve HIM in this. No.” Asmo replies firmly and crosses his arms.

“Who?” you ask, but Asmo is not in the mood to respond. The demon scowls, refusing to answer.

“Solomon,” Satan replies instead of him. Asmo glares at his brother angrily, but doesn’t stop him from explaining. “He’s capable of channeling his magic through the pact. And when he does that, Asmo becomes incredibly powerful. I think his charms will be strong enough to keep Mephisto under control basically all the time.”

“The more people we add to this venture, the riskier it gets,” Asmo protests. “I’ll handle Mephisto myself. Or kill him. As simple as that.”

“If you kill him,” Levi quietly argues. “It will be very suspicious. One dead Lord is one thing, but two? Everybody will try to dig up the truth. Lord Diavolo, the House of Lords… Everybody!”

“Asmo,” you approach the demon and take his hand in yours. His brothers may not be able to change his mind, but you definitely can. “It’s understandable why you’re against Solomon joining us. But we need him. I don’t want you to fight those headaches again. I know that you can do this on your own. But it doesn’t mean that you should. You’re doing all this to protect me, right?” You wait until Asmo nods with a sad smile. “And I know that you, we, can do this. But Solomon will let us deal with everything more smoothly. Please, let’s not make it harder than it needs to be.”

“Harder than it needs to be… Funny to hear it from you, Tiel.” Asmo smiles, gently caressing your hand. “Fine. If you insist.”

“Thank you,” you smile back, squeezing his hand with gratitude.

“Are you guys sure that Solomon will even agree?” Levi speaks up again. “What if he’ll refuse?”

“I guess he’ll become another candidate for killing,” Satan smirks.  

“Stop joking like that!”

“Joking, of course…” Satan gives Levi a charming smile. “Well, jokes aside, I think that he’ll agree. Especially if Castiel is the one who will do the talking.”

“Yeah, I’ll have a perfect opportunity tomorrow,” you say, returning to the bed. “Did Simeon speak to you about his camping idea? Solomon will be there, it seems.”

“Then we should all go as well,” Satan smiles, looking at Levi attentively. And sure thing, Levi starts whining.

“What?! No way! Tomorrow is the release day of a new Ruri-chan figurine! Do you understand what this means? I can’t simply…”

“Levi, I’m 95% sure that Solomon will agree.” Satan interrupts him before Levi could start his usual rant. “But just in case we’ll get unlucky, we all have to be there to stop Solomon from ruining everything. Castiel needs a backup, you included.”

“You can ask Beel to make the order instead of you,” you offer. “He’s reliable, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“…Fine.” Leviathan sighs, ruffling his hair. “Our alliance implies that we must have each other’s backs… I can’t abandon you when you need me. That’s what Henry would never do.”

“Thank you,” you smile at him, making the demon blush. You’re pretty sure that everything will go smoothly with Solomon, but having plan B feels nice for a change. Despite you being used to facing most of the dangers alone, you’re kind of glad that these three demons are so ready to help. Somehow… you feel almost excited to be with them in one team. That’s a new one.

And you’re not sure whether this sudden change of perspective is a good or bad thing.

***

Your day at RAD goes more or less uneventfully. Most of your free time is wasted on comforting Mammon, who looks especially rough after Lucifer’s punishments. Beel acts even quieter than usual, reading books about traveling between dimensions. Under the watchful eye of Satan, of course, who doesn’t allow poor glutton to eat while reading. If not for this brutal rule, Beel would’ve finished reading 10 books already. But since he has to make constant breaks to fill his bottomless stomach, he’s only on his second book, which is still admirable. Asmo and Levi mostly stay nearby, suspiciously looking around all the time, prepared to face any sudden danger. You don’t meet neither angels nor Solomon the whole day, but you’ll have plenty of time for them tomorrow.

After all the classes are over, your guys go to the student council meeting, finally leaving you alone. You hurry back to the House of Lamentation, ready to start the next stage of experiments. Yeah, you’ve been thinking about it all day, having no intention to give up after the first failure. Levi’s power is a little too painful to master, and Cerberus’ fire is too risky. So you have to move on to the option that may be potentially harmful to your body, but can grant you better results.

You’ve already had successful experience with Belphie’s mark. The more you banished Belphie from your head, the easier it felt. It is also possible that there is some kind of correlation between the strength of the demon who granted the mark and the difficulty of mastering the power of the pact. By this logic, Belphie’s, Beel’s, and Asmo’s powers would be the easiest, and Mammon’s and Levi’s would be the hardest. You have no idea in which category Cerberus’ pact belongs. He’s a mighty beast, but is he stronger than Asmo or Beel? Or maybe he’s a dark horse whose power exceeds even Lucifer? That would be funny.

As soon as you arrive home, you rush to the attic. You can safely visit Belphie only when Lucifer is not at home, so you can’t waste any time. You quickly steal chocolate brownies from the kitchen, hoping to appease the demon enough for him to be willing to help you.

The attic meets you with silence, as usual. You sit on the floor, push the plate with food under the metallic door, and knock as loudly as you can. The Avatar of Sloth is a sound sleeper, after all.

You hear a commotion on the other side of the room. Belphie takes his sweet time, yawning and waddling toward the door, perhaps to annoy you. Or maybe that’s just the way he always is.

He sits right in front of you, throwing a passing glance at the brownies.

“I prefer the ones with raspberries,” he mumbles, lazily examining you. Belphie looks much calmer than usual, almost like he doesn’t mind your presence here.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you respond casually. If it was Belphie’s attempt to irritate you, it didn’t work. “I started working on mastering the power of the pact marks. I think there is a good chance that our telepathic connection can be controlled. But I need your assistance.”

“Well, I’m not surprised that you can’t do anything alone.” Belphie smirks teasingly. “But I can’t do anything, it’s you who always drag me into your empty head.”

“I think that physical contact can do the trick,” you reply, noticing how Belphie’s face winces. “Levi’s touch activated his mark for several seconds, so maybe it’ll work with you as well.”

“Why would I ever touch you?” Belphie frowns. “Other than with intent to twist your neck.”

“Well, either several unbearable minutes of holding my human hand or a constant threat of being ‘dragged into my empty head’, your choice. The sooner I’ll be able to control this connection, the better it will be for both of us.” You try to sound as friendly as possible, ignoring all of Belphie’s poisonous provocations. It would be counterproductive to simply start arguing.

“Holding your hand? Gross.” Belphie twists his face so much, that it makes you cackle. “Hey! Don’t you dare laugh at me!”

“I would never, baby boy. So what?” You smile and stretch your arm forward, moving it between the iron bars. Belphie looks at it like it’s a dead rat. It takes him some time to think, mumble something under his breath, and… slightly blush? No, must be your imagination, it’s quite gloomy here. Belphie lowers his head, hiding his eyes behind long bangs, and quickly puts his hand into yours. You carefully squeeze his fingers. This whole situation is kind of strange, but you have to carry on.

You close your eyes, trying to concentrate on Belphie’s mark. You’ve done it before; you just need to remember how it feels. But the feeling of a tensed demonic hand distracts you. Maybe you should make him relax a little? He may unconsciously oppose your attempts to make contact with his mind.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to ask you,” you say as you open your eyes and look at the demon. Belphie raises his head at the sound of your voice. “When I was trying to find any information about the mysterious missing brother, I noticed that history books had no pictures of you. Do you think Lucifer has put a curse on all the books or something?”

“No,” Belphie shakes his head with a slight smile. “When we only became the Rulers, there was a big photoshoot with all of us. I’ve overslept. Lucifer was so furious that he ordered to print all the books as they were, without my photos. Some of them didn’t even mention my name. A hundred years later, we had another photoshoot, but the story repeated itself. I think we’ve had around 50 different photoshoots throughout the years. I didn’t attend a single one, because I didn’t feel like it.” Belphie smirks, clearly proud of himself.

“Wow, so badass,” you grin, trying not to sound too sarcastic. “It’s actually a smart tactic. Nobody knows anything about you, even your demon form is a secret. That can be very useful.”

“Well, I tried to use it to my advantage when I pretended to be human.” Belphie sighs. “But you were no fun. Very disappointing.”

“Sorry, but these bright, violet eyes of yours are too strange and noticeable. There was no way for you to trick anyone,” you smirk.

“You humans are so boring, even such a common color is already shocking for you,” Belphie frowns, clearly not pleased that you called his eyes ‘strange’. “I bet you would have a stroke if you saw my eyes in the demon form.”     

“Oh?” You lean forward, instantly interested. “Show me.”

“Huh? Hell no, I’m not going to entertain you! Focus on the damn mark.”

“Come on, dude, please! I didn’t see your demon form at all! I’m so damn curious,” you start to whine as you notice that the demon likes it. Is he pleased by your desire to learn more about him? Or he just likes to hear you beg? Either way, Belphie looks content.

“You’re so annoying,” he sighs and removes his hand from your grip. One second, and the demon completely changes his appearance. You gawk at his cool curly horns, black-and-white oversized clothes, fluffy tail… And his eyes, just as violet as before, but they now have horizontal slit-shaped pupils, and the irises seem to be much bigger. You know that the eyes of a lot of herbivores have such a shape, like horses, goats, cows… Belphie’s whole demonic appearance resembles that of a sheep or a bull, so such pupils make sense. But they look very quirky on a human face. “So?” Belphie asks impatiently, intruding into your thoughts. You return to reality, realizing that the demon waits for your opinion, strangely enough. The nervous movements of his fluffy tail make you smile. The boy won’t accept anything besides a ton of praise, that’s for sure.

“You’re beautiful.” You smirk as Belphie blushes at your words. “Not trying to tease you or anything, I’m serious. Those are some badass horns. I think they are the coolest among the ones I’ve seen so far.”

“What about the eyes?” Belphie asks without any shame. Did Asmo teach him to fish out compliments? Belphie does it a little too professionally, making it look more endearing than annoying. He may be a questionable actor, but he’s a great manipulator.

“They are unusual, but in a good way. You look awesome. But you know…” You smile widely. “I don’t know what to think about your tail. I think I need to touch it to be sure.”

“I don’t think so.” Belphie’s tail swiftly hides behind his back. You let out a disappointed sigh.

“You’re so cruel. Showing me something so soft-looking without letting me touch it.”

“Deal with it.” Belphie grins and grabs your hand once again. You notice his long claws as he does it. “Now focus. We don’t have much time left for your dumb experiments.”

You nod and close your eyes, finally managing to concentrate on the mark. You try to reach out to it in search of gentle energy that is hidden within. A warm palm in your hand feels supportive, and soon you start to feel a similar warmth from the mark.

“I think I feel the connection,” Belphie whispers. His hand nervously squeezes you tighter. “I’m not nervous, idiot. Just disgusted.” You slowly let go of his hand, but the connection still remains. “Now try to… turn it off somehow.” The pleasant energy gently spreads its warmth across your whole body. It feels amazing, it makes you dive deeper. You sense a familiar orb of emotions: Belphie’s fears, desires, dreams. Just like with Mammon, you could put a leash on it, make the demon obey your every command. But you will never do it. The orb almost purrs like a little kitten, making you wonder once again about its nature. Why does this pact feel so strange? Why is this connection so pure and tender? That’s not how contracts are supposed to feel. It’s almost like the bond is much deeper, more meaningful.

“Cas…” Belphie’s voice sounds just like that annoying alarm clock, it tries to wake you up. You want to bask in these sensations longer, so you dive deeper... But then you feel something fluffy against your cheek, it tickles you, making you chuckle and open your eyes. You meet Belphie’s gaze, it’s much softer than you expected.

“Did you feel that?” you ask with a smile, still not quite here.

“Yes…” Belphie replies without any confidence as he hides his tail again. “It was strange, like a ton of fragments put together, but… Comforting, I think. And warm. What was that?”

“No idea. It’s not how a pact should feel, right?”

“Definitely not.” Belphie winces, he looks much more worried than you are. “But let’s not waste our time. I still hear your thoughts, it’s annoying. Turn off this damn thing.”

You almost feel sad that you have to let go of this weird energy, but it obeys easily. The connection slips away, and the warmth fades.

“Finally!” Belphie sighs, acting more relieved than he really is. He misses the warmth too, you know it. “Well, it seems that you’re not as useless as you look. Now, leave me alone. Others are coming home soon.”

“Thanks for the help,” you say, rubbing your eyes with a hand. The dive into this energy made you sleepy.

“…You’re welcome.” Belphie says almost politely, but the irritated expression on his face ruins the impression. “Get out already!”

“Goodbye, baby boy. For now.” You smirk and leave the attic.

Belphie was right, the second you go down the stairs you hear the familiar commotion from the hall. The whole family has returned. But you have no time for them right now. The experiment is not over. You go to the basement where nobody, besides maybe Lucifer, will find you. Straight to your most favorite creature in all three worlds – Cerbie. The beast is just as happy to see you. After the intense session of singing, petting, and scratching, the dog calms down. But you’re still full of determination, ready to continue your very important business. You have one particular goal in mind, and you won’t stop until you reach it.

Cerbie sleepily watches over you with one of his heads, as you close your eyes and concentrate on Belphie’s mark once again. The idea is crazy, like basically all your ideas. But if it works, if Belphie was right and the energy of the activated mark is undetectable… You’ll finally get your revenge on him for interrupting you and Beel two damn times. Yes, you can be very petty.

The familiar warmth appears once again. It responds to your call almost instantly, willingly.

What the… Have you lost your mind?! Are you going to summon me every time you feel like it? Because I have great news for you: it’s not going to happen. You have ten seconds to interrupt the connection, or I’ll scream. Loudly. One…

There it is. The moment of truth. You mentally prepare yourself for the excruciating noise…

Nine… Ten. AAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Yep, it’s just as awful as you remember. Your first instinct is to immediately kick Belphie out of your head, but you clench your teeth and focus on Belphie’s voice instead.

You can make it quieter. You can make it disappear completely. You’re in charge of this bond, not Belphegor. You won’t let him do whatever he pleases. Not anymore.

Your mind concentrates on the mark, diving deeper. You feel the energy coursing through you. It gives you control, allowing you to influence the connection.

AAAAAAAaaaaaaaa… huh?     

You wipe your forehead with your trembling hand, finally letting yourself relax. You smile victoriously as you barely hear Belphie’s voice at the back of your head. He’s still here, but now his presence doesn’t bother you. You even could silence him completely if you wish.

what have you done, damn psycho? stop it, now.

Belphie’s voice now is nothing but a mere whisper. Finally, you have the power to shut this fucker up. He was roaming in your head too freely. Now it’s your turn to have fun.

You’ve got this idea when you remembered how you controlled Mammon’s actions with the help of the same energy. You’re not going to use it that way ever again, but it’s clear that it doesn’t simply connect you to the demons. It gives you power over them. You hoped that the energy would help you influence the telepathic connection between you and Belphie. And unfortunately for him, you succeeded.

And now, it’s time to get your petty revenge. You pet Cerberus one last time and joyfully march toward the stairs, ignoring Belphie’s swears and curses.

***

Shower? Done. Condoms? In your pocket. Belphie? Terrified and trapped within your brain without a chance to speak up. You were cackling viciously all the way to Lucifer’s room. If someone saw you, they would swear that you’ve gone mad. Maybe they wouldn’t be far from the truth. But at this point, you don’t care anymore.

You shake your head to get rid of sudden nervousness. Offering Lucifer to have sex is crazy. Doing so with Belphie stuck inside your head is crazier. But were you ever reasonable? Or smart? Or careful? That’s right, never. So it’s too late to start now.

You knock on the door, mentally preparing for Lucifer to just ignore you. But despite your fears, the door opens almost immediately. You sigh and walk inside.

Lucifer is sitting at his working table, buried in the giant piles of documents. The door was clearly opened by magic. It closes behind you, leaving you with Lucifer one-on-one. Well, kind of. You’ve stayed with him in his bedroom face-to-face once, and you were regretting that you didn’t have any weapons on you. And now you’ve come to him willingly. Yep, you’re definitely crazy.

“Do you want something?” Lucifer asks without raising his eyes from the papers. He looks tired, Diavolo can’t be the only one who is overworking lately. You silently approach the demon, going all the way to his chair. You settle your butt on the table, right next to his hands. Well, that certainly got his attention. Lucifer lifts his head and stares at you with a silent question in his eyes. He looks exhausted and not ready to do any activities besides sleeping. That won’t do.

You tilt your head as your hand lands on his arm. Your fingers slide down slowly, dancing on the firm fabric of his shirt, stopping on the edge of the sleeve. You casually lift the end of the sleeve and slide under, finally feeling Lucifer’s skin under your fingers. The demon suppresses a shiver, closing his eyes and frowning.

“Don’t…” Lucifer starts protesting; his voice is already hoarse. But your fingers grab his arm and lift it toward your face. You press your lips against his black glove. You move higher with each kiss as your fingers hike up the fabric of the shirt, revealing more pale skin. It doesn’t take long for your lips to reach Lucifer’s now completely open arm. The demon fails to suppress his next shiver, making you smirk. You meet the gaze of his crimson eyes as his arm escapes your grasp. But you have no time for disappointment, as his hand firmly grabs your hair from behind and pulls you forward. To him. The long-awaited kiss assaults all your senses, making your head spin. Lucifer pulls you closer with each movement of his mouth. His other hand is now on your face, holding you tightly by the chin.

You bite his lower lip, feeling a taste of blood in your mouth. As Lucifer twitches and slightly loosens his grip, you move your hips closer to the center of the table, crumpling countless papers under your ass. Luckily, nobody cares. Especially after Lucifer gets up and starts towering above you. His hand in your hair squeezes tighter, pulling your head backward and opening your neck for his hungry gaze. You grunt as you feel his lips, fangs, and hot breath on your sensitive skin; you feel a tiny drop of blood running down your body after a particularly strong bite. The drop reaches your chest, but Lucifer catches it with his tongue and moves up, licking the whole red trail clean.

His hand that was on your chin swiftly moves down, groping your crotch through the pants. You let out a quiet “fuck” and start feeling Lucifer up in return. His hair, shoulders, back, ass – nothing escapes your strong grip as Lucifer’s hand lazily massages your dick and balls.

Your hand grabs Lucifer’s black hair and pulls his face away from your aching neck and chest. The demon growls at you and jerks forward to continue torturing your upper body, but you push him in the chest as strongly as you can. Lucifer’s confusion finally stops him, giving you a chance to start tearing his shirt off. These damn clothes, both on you and on Lucifer, start getting on your nerves.

Lucifer smirks, not attempting to help you in any way. Jerk.

“Getting impatient, aren’t we?” he teases as his hand on your groin continues its lazy movements.  

“Shut up and help me. Can you be less insufferable at least once in your life?” you hiss at him in irritation, the damn shirt just refuses to be taken off.

“Oh? Sounds like someone doesn’t know his place.” Lucifer grins wider, removing his hands from your body altogether. He chuckles as you growl at him. “Is something the matter?”

“Wanna be a jackass even in this situation? Fine, suit yourself.” You jump from the table and jerk forward, grabbing Lucifer’s waist and turning around as quickly as possible. Now it’s him who is pressed against the table. Your hands start attacking the belt on his pants as you capture his lips in another painful kiss. Your teeth torture his mouth, letting out all the frustration. Lucifer responds to you just as actively.

Until his magic tears you from him and tosses you across the whole room on his bed. Well, it’s certainly a better landing than on the piano, but still too sudden for your liking. You look around in confusion, adapting to a swift change of place. Lucifer slowly approaches you, looking so smug that it immediately evokes an irresistible urge to punch his face.

“I thought that this place would suit us better,” he says, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“It’s definitely a move in the right direction, but you’re still a jackass.” You chuckle and sit up. “Are you done playing around? Come here.”

“And you’re still insisting on giving orders. In my own bed. You think I’ll let it slide?” Lucifer smirks and snaps his fingers, making all your clothes disappear. But he doesn’t let you celebrate for too long, as bright-red ropes start creeping toward you from all sides of the bed. It all happens too fast: you don’t manage to even attempt to escape, as you find yourself tied up along your whole body. Your arms and legs are tied together, leaving you with zero chances to move. But that’s not even the worst part. Lucifer’s ropes intertwisted not only your limbs, but also your head, chest, and hips. Including your half-hard dick. You grunt as you feel the rope squeezing your balls, leaving your cock to stick out upwards.

“What the fuck is this?” You growl, fighting against the heavy breathing that clenches your chest. The abuse of your balls makes you tremble with each minor movement, making you stay as still as possible.

“Punishment for disobedience.” Lucifer stands up, tosses his long leg above your tied-up body, and sits down on your stomach, straddling you. You’d find it incredibly hot if you weren’t so pissed off.

“I prefer to know about such games in advance, Lucy.” You grunt under Lucifer’s weight.

“My bad. I thought that you’re open to everything after I found this in your room during my investigation.” Lucifer smiles and conjures something heavy. It lands on the bed beside you, making you instinctively recoil. Such sudden movement makes your balls ache, sending a wave of sweet pain across your whole body. The demon chuckles, waiting for you to catch your breath. After you regain your senses, you look at the direction of the object beside you. It’s a black suitcase. The very same Mammon bought on a whim. Shit. “Such an interesting find. And the contents… Very curious, to say the least. For example…”

Something flies out of the suitcase and lands on Lucifer’s hand. You can’t see much, concentrating on maintaining immobility. So Lucifer leans forward, keeping his face right above yours. He looks so pleased with himself that you want to spit right into his face. But before you can do anything, his fingers in black gloves forcibly open your mouth and push something inside. You try to resist, but the ropes and Lucifer’s hands hold you too tightly.

It’s a fucking gag. And not just a regular one – it has a damn hole.

“An open-mouth gag. A wonderful solution to all our problems, don’t you think?” Lucifer smirks wickedly. “A perfect tool to finally shut your mouth. But not fully; after all, your mouth can still be quite useful.”

Shit, you’re completely immobilized and have a fucking gag in your mouth. You hate being at Lucifer’s mercy like this, but no matter how much you struggle, you can’t escape.

Meanwhile, Lucifer snaps his fingers again and makes his clothes disappear. Okay, maybe it’s not that bad. You can’t see much, but you really like everything you’re capable of seeing. Lucifer notices how quickly you stop grunting once he demonstrates you his naked body.

“You’re easy to please, aren’t you?” He laughs, moving closer to your face. “Perfect. Because that’s all you’re getting today.” When the demon summons something else out of the suitcase, you can only roll your eyes in frustration: what else does he have in store for you? You freeze as Lucifer playfully waves a big, pink dildo right near your face. Fuck. “How was it? ‘I don’t think I would be able to be of service. My dick becomes soft and limp because of your creepy eyes.’ Something like that, yes? Well, I think I’ll follow your advice and use something else instead.” Lucifer chuckles, clearly enjoying your shock. “Now, be a good boy and make it wet for me.”

Lucifer mercilessly shoves the dildo right into your mouth, making you choke. You grunt as the rubber toy assaults your throat. You feel saliva running down your chin and cheeks. After a while, you get used to the size of the toy, but your mouth still feels quite uncomfortable. Lucifer watches you closely, still sitting on top of you and slowly caressing your chest with his gloved hand.

“You’re doing better than expected. Maybe I’ll consider using your mouth myself.” He smirks, pushing the toy in and out. After several minutes of torture, Lucifer finally decides that the dildo is lubricated well enough.

He removes the toy from your throat, giving you a break. Lucifer leans back and attaches the dildo to your hips, just above your dick.

“Hm, it seems there is something useless in the way.” Lucifer teasingly points at your cock, which is still embarrassingly hard. One move of his fingers, and the red ropes come to life once again. They entangle your dick and press it down, toward your balls. You audibly mewl into your gag as the ropes cruelly tie your boner to your hips, holding it down. Now the pink dildo is the only thing that points upwards. “Much better.” Lucifer sighs with satisfaction and moves lower, toward the toy. The ropes raise your head as he moves, making you look at him at all times, despite a brutal pain in your neck. You thought that your upper body was lifted by magic, but no: it’s Lucifer who holds the end of the rope, pulling you upwards with his strength alone.

The demon leans backwards on his arms and spreads his legs, granting you a first-class view of his groin and ass. It’s pointless to be angry at the fact that this bastard is too perfect, but you’re grumpy anyway.

“Watch closely. Don’t dare to close your eyes for even a second,” Lucifer orders, slowly lowering his hips. And you watch, as closely as possible. How the toy penetrates his hole. How his hips start moving up and down, bouncing on the dildo. How his ass moves right above your tied up dick.

Once Lucifer gets used to the toy, he slides all the way down, making it completely disappear inside his body. He smirks as his hips land on yours, right on your poor cock. This is the worst fucking torture you’ve ever had to endure. You have to watch Lucifer pleasure himself right on top of you, without the ability to participate. The only kind of action you get is when Lucifer takes in the whole length of the dildo and smashes his ass right where your dick and balls are held down. The mix of pleasure and pain makes you go crazy and become more restless with each second.

You need to get out and take what’s yours. How? Well, the only option is definitely the pact powers, but you are not sure that you’ll be able to concentrate enough to use them. Still, it’s not like you have any other option. If your theory about the difficulties of mastering the pacts is correct, Beel’s should be one of the easiest. And it will be perfect to release you from Lucifer’s trap.

You close your eyes, attempting to focus on the pact mark, but Lucifer pulls the rope in his hands, making you grunt from pain and open your eyes. Fucker. Okay, you can do it even with open eyes. You stare at your goal, being a smug, naked jerk that slowly slides up and down on your hips, and simultaneously focus on Beel’s mark. You try to feel the energy within, imagine the ropes tearing apart thanks to your colossal strength…

“Are you paying attention? That’s how you should… Mhm… use your useless…” Lucifer closes his eyes as he gets closer to climax. But he instantly opens them once he feels you move under him. He sees your face, lacking the gag, incredibly closely. The ropes slowly slide from your body, teared apart by your force. Lucifer sees a victorious smile on your face, before he gets thrown on the bed.

You toss the demon on his stomach, removing the rest of the ropes. You can’t hold back a relieved sigh as your dick and balls get released. Your hand, empowered by the power of Beel’s pact, holds down Lucifer’s head, pressing his face into the pillow. You swiftly raise his hips, putting him on his knees. The demon growls against the pillow, but you couldn’t care less about his wants and needs. It’s your turn.

You remove the dildo from Lucifer’s ass and toss it somewhere as far as possible. Lucifer will never need it anymore. His entrance seems to be lubricated enough, so you thrust right in, enjoying the sweet sounds you manage to get out of him. You push inside, instantly choosing an insanely quick pace. Your only goal is to reach the climax yourself, but judging by the loud moans that even a thick pillow can’t hide, you’re hitting all the right spots of Lucifer’s body. Whether he likes it or not, he’ll have to come with you.

You lean forward, basically lying down on top of Lucifer, as your hips continue to pound into him. You’re both already on the edge, just a few more thrusts and it’s over. You bite into Lucifer’s shoulder, making him grunt. He bares his fangs and tries to return the favor, but you press your hand to his head, making him stay and behave.

“Only those who behave get to bite back.” You smirk, looking into red, fiery eyes. “Now, stay down and come from my ‘useless’ dick, Lucifer.”

The demon growls, his claws tear the pillow and the sheets apart. You grin and find Lucifer’s hard cock with your hand, making him moan so loudly, that he visibly gets embarrassed. He needs only several strokes to come, ruining the bedsheets even more. Lucifer’s hole squeezes you tightly as he comes, sending you right into paradise.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

B-B-Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark
Can't be sure when they've hit their mark
And besides in the mean-meantime, I'm just
Dreaming of tearing you apart
I'm in the deep details with the devil
You know, the world can never get me on my level
I just gotta get you out the cage, I'm a young lover's rage
Gonna need a spark to ignite

But my songs know what you did in the dark

Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

ihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyou

Quiet mumbling inside your brain is the first thing you hear once you return from your all-consuming bliss. It seems using two pacts at once was a bit overkill, you lost control over your telepathic connection with Belphie. At least his voice is still barely heard; you don’t want to deal with his screaming right now.

Poor Belphie aside, you need to focus on the demon under you. Your dick is still inside Lucifer, who is breathing heavily into the torn pillow. The more you analyze the situation, the more you understand how screwed you are. The strength of Beel’s pact is long gone, nothing is holding Lucifer down. As soon as the demon catches his breath; as soon as he fully comprehends what you have done to him; as soon as he realizes that you have even forgotten to put on a condom, and now his ass is filled not only with your cock but also with your cum… As soon as the Avatar of Pride comes to his senses, you’ll become dead meat.

You need to run. Now.

But it seems that your attempt to swiftly remove yourself from Lucifer’s body and start running toward the door infuriated the demon even more. You catch a glimpse of black wings and curly horns before you get tossed down and pinned to the bed. Now Lucifer is towering above you, again. He turned into his demonic form, fully revealing his deadly beauty. You half-expected his clothes to also appear after the transformation, but Lucifer is still naked. You remember Diavolo’s words: “The Morning Star, the most brilliant angel in the Celestial Realm. He is beautiful now, but I wish you could see him in his angelic form.” Well, maybe you should be grateful for never getting a chance to see Lucifer’s angelic appearance. This fucker already melts your brain with his crimson eyes and these damn dark wings, which seem to be much bigger than you remembered. They fill almost half the room, hovering above you menacingly. Despite your best attempts to calm down, you start turning on once again, and even Lucifer’s furious glares don’t stop you. If anything, his red, glowing eyes add a certain flavor to the whole image.

Hm, you tend to call everyone who takes a liking to you a masochist, but it seems that you were the real pervert all along. Not that shocking, really, but you didn’t think that you could like someone like Lucifer, no matter how hot he looks. This guy is… intense, in many ways. You would never say no to a challenge, but when it comes to Lucifer, everything is less of a challenge and more of a suicide mission.

If you ran away now, Lucifer would probably never let you near him again. You would become a one-night mistake, nothing more. But since your escape plan failed, you kind of have to go the difficult route, otherwise, the chances of your survival are incredibly low. The Avatar of Pride won’t just let you fuck his ass in a very rude and disrespectful manner and let you go without any consequences. If you don’t appease him now, he’ll tear you apart. So, before Lucifer can start snarling at you again, you lift yourself up and kiss him. Your arms quickly wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, chest to chest. You hear the heavy flutter of Lucifer’s wings around you, the dark feathers brush against the bed. His lips are sealed, but you pay no mind to it, continuing to smooch his face.

The vibrating growling in the demon’s chest becomes quieter the longer you kiss him. You put a lot of thought into your every movement, doing your best to calm him down. Quick kiss here, tender touches of your fingers there, and Lucifer lets his fury slowly go away. Soon his wings start closing around you, tickling your skin. It’s very warm inside this black cocoon, but it becomes warmer once Lucifer’s arms land on your shoulders. He hugs you back hesitantly, like he is still not sure whether he wants it or not. Lucifer finally responds to your kiss, carefully caressing your lips with his. It’s the calmest interaction you’ve had with him so far, which is actually wild after everything you just did to him. But here he is, sitting on your thighs and almost gently kissing you. Maybe Lucifer enjoyed the ending of your sexual encounter more than he cares to admit.

diediediediediediediediediediediediediedie

Belphie’s quiet screeches help you not lose your head completely. As much as you want to initiate round two, you need to interrupt the connection with Belphie before you lose control over the volume of his voice. You don’t dare try doing anything with Belphie’s mark while Lucifer is nearby, just in case he’s able to detect something suspicious. You can’t concentrate on the pact anyway, this dark-winged menace makes you incapable of even thinking straight, never mind doing something related to magic.

So, as much as you wish to stay in Lucifer’s bed, you stop the kiss and lean back.

“Sorry,” you smile at him apologetically, trying to sound as sad as possible. Lucifer’s pride will accept your retreat only if you act all-regretful. Not that you have to actually pretend to be sad, to be totally honest. “I need to go. I still have an important business to attend to.”

“Business?” The demon frowns as his arms unconsciously tighten around you. “What can be more important than…” Lucifer stops himself in half-sentence, turning his gaze away. He doesn’t blush, but he sure looks frustrated by what he almost said. ‘What can be more important than me?’ You can’t hold back a gentle smile as your heart skips a beat. Damn, this crazy maniac almost looks adorable right now. That’s insane how Lucifer makes you feel such a confusing mix of emotions. It can’t be healthy, certainly.

“I can return later if you want,” you offer, knowing too well that Lucifer will not agree. He can’t just say out loud that he wants you to stay or return once you’re finished. You two interact best when you don’t talk at all, letting the silence and body language do the talking for you.

“No need. I still have a lot of work.” Lucifer shakes his head, removing his hands and wings. You blink once, and he is already transformed - no more horns and wings in sight. A pity. He snaps his fingers, and now you’re fully clothed, just like him. The demon simply goes to his table and starts to arrange the crumpled papers, as if you’re not in the room anymore. Wow, without even a shower or anything, straight to work. Lucifer is fully determined to ignore you, letting you get up and go to the door in silence. But you wouldn’t be you if you played by his rules.

“Hey, Lucy,” you draw his attention to you, smiling mischievously. “Hope you’ll enjoy working with your ass full of my cum.”

You run away as fast as you can, hearing something blowing up behind your back. Only after you reach your bedroom do you allow yourself to stop rushing and catch your breath. Okay, it didn’t go too badly, all things considered. There were a couple of sudden plot twists along the way, but your stupid plan could’ve ended a thousand times worse.

words can’t describe how much i hate you right now.  

Well, after you provided Belphie with free entertainment…

you son of a…

…It is time to cease the connection. You lay down on your back, settling comfortably on your bed, and focus. There it is: the energy of the pact. But it’s not as warm as before, for some reason. You frown and try to use the energy to kick Belphie out of your head. And it doesn’t work, at all. Not even a hint of the previous success with pacts. Did you overdo it? Kept the pact activated for too long? Pushed it too far? Or…

it seems you are still as pathetic as ever; nothing has changed. you really are a fucking embarrassment, even for a human.

Shit, is the pact power influenced by the demon’s emotions? Or it’s more like how they feel about you in particular? Belphie is angry at you, to put it lightly, does this fact block your attempts to stop the telepathic contact? But it worked just fine all the previous times you dragged him into your head. You and Belphie were bickering constantly, so what changed now?

disgusting slut, fucking whore, can’t stand being in your dirty head any longer…

You previously ignored all of Belphie’s remarks, letting him vent his feelings a bit. But now you start listening more closely.

stinky whore, can’t believe i’ve let you touch me with your nasty hands…

It’s not the first time Belphie slut-shamed you, but this time it’s definitely more heated. Which is understandable, you caused quite a lot of trauma for the guy. Still, there is something else, something is different. Last time, he was upset that such a person as you dared to touch his dear twin. But this time…

…don’t ever come near me again, you hear me? first you open your dirty mouth and compliment my horns and eyes, and then you turn around and go fuck Lucifer. LUCIFER! out of all the demons you could choose, you chose the one that imprisoned me! it wasn’t enough for you to force me into this… disgusting thing, you decided to use Lucifer for it. i hate you.

Yeah, it feels more like a personal offense this time. He’s furious about the fact that you chose Lucifer. Not only that, you did it after you established some kind of understanding between yourself and Belphie. So his main complaint is the person you fucked, not the fact that he was stuck in your head during the whole ordeal?

don’t put words in my mouth, human. i hate you for too many reasons to mention them constantly. i’m not a pervert, unlike you. no matter who you chose, i would react the same way. Lucifer just adds insult to injury.

“So what are we gonna do about it, Belphie?” You say into the darkness of your empty room. It’s the first time you responded to Belphie directly, other than with your thoughts. “You do realize that if you don’t forgive me, you will be stuck in my head, right?”

this is just your unconfirmed theory, nothing more. in my opinion, you’re just useless trash who can’t control even this pathetic spell, or whatever this is.

“Maybe you’re right. But something is wrong, don’t you feel it? The magic of the pact feels different, colder. I think you’re influencing it.” You sigh, feeling a light headache. Belphie’s presence starts to feel quite exhausting, and you really want to go to sleep. But this is a luxury you can’t afford right now. “Whatever, let’s imagine that I’m feeling a little bit of remorse…”

huh, ‘remorse’? you? don’t make me laugh.

“Yeah-yeah, I know what you think of me, and I don’t actually help you change your opinion, but still. Imagine that I sincerely want to apologize, but simple words are clearly not enough in this situation. What would you want me to do?”

kill yourself.

You smirk at Belphie’s instant answer, he didn’t hesitate even for a moment. "Okay, how about we browse through some different options? You know, the ones that don’t result in you living in the attic for all eternity, or the bloodshed between Beel and Lucifer, or something similar. Reasonable ideas only, deal? I think you want to leave my brain as much as I do.”

and for that, i need to forgive you? it’s not happening, human. even if you stab Lucifer and Diavolo in the chest and open the door of the attic, i'll continue to hate you.

“I think we’re moving in the right direction here. What was that about Lucifer and Diavolo? I can try to do something to them, if you want. Don’t know about killing, though. Maybe some kind of injury? Caused by a staged accident.”

We both know that you’re not capable of leaving even a scratch on them, human.

“Oh, come on, I made Diavolo bleed once!” You protest, trying not to think about Belphie’s voice getting louder. It basically returned to its full force.

You did?

“Yeah, with the help of Beel’s pact. He healed instantly, though, but it was still fun. So if you want me to organize a rematch, I can do this for you. Wanna make your prince bleed?” You offer, hoping that it sounds tempting enough for the demon.

You fucked up big time with your revenge on Belphie, and now you desperately need to get on his good side again. This connection was torture for Belphie when you could control everything about it. But now it became torture for you. He’s now loud enough to make your head blow up with pain, and potentially literally drive you mad, if he decides to scream long enough. You allowed yourself to get carried away with your newfound powers - exactly what you shouldn’t do. This unknown magic has too many blind spots for you to use it carelessly for your own entertainment. The pacts are double-edged swords, and they can turn on you the second you fuck up. And if your theory is correct and the marks are indeed connected to the relationships between you and the demons… Then this shit is more restrictive than it seemed before. If you want to have Beel’s strength, you need to keep a good relationship with him; if you want your fire powers – never forget to visit Cerbie and sing him your human-world songs.

It doesn’t sound too difficult on paper, but you need to constantly keep an eye on the mood of six demons, at all times. Six incredibly diverse, childish, and often unreasonable demons. Four of them want to date you, allegedly, and none of them likes the competition very much. You didn’t realize how important it was to fix things between you, Mammon, and Beel. You kind of acted on a whim because you like the guys and don’t want to make them sad. And it would be annoying to deal with their bickering, but that’s beside the point. And now it seems that you unknowingly secured the power of both of their pacts, at least for some time.

You wince, thinking about that time you had to use your fire power. When it was happening, you weren’t visiting Cerbie for quite some time. You were very lucky that the beast didn’t mind waiting for you, because if he was really upset… You fire would never appear, and you had to face the consequences on your own. Cerbie is still the best boy, but you need to sing to him more, just in case.

If you are correct, it partially explains why your case is so unique. None of the books mentioned good relationships between a demon and their master. It was always purely a contract, with no emotions attached. The only real-life example you know is Solomon and Asmo, and there is definitely some tension between them. You didn’t see them interacting that much, especially in the context of the pact, but their relationship is professional at best. They both are capable of acting friendly enough toward each other, but there is still a hidden conflict, presumably caused by the means Solomon used to force Asmo into the pact. And Solomon himself also doesn’t look too eager to treat Asmo more like a friend, but that is just your assumption. The sorcerer is still an enigma to you, so you can’t be certain.

You try to remember Levi’s words about their pact. It was something like: “Demons feel a pact much differently from you, humans! If it was made for purely exploitative purposes, like in the case of Asmo and Solomon, sure, the pact is just a collar around our necks that makes us obey. But if the master and the demon reach something more than that… Friendship, partnership… love… The pact is no longer a collar or a contract. It’s a unity. It’s an agreement. It’s an alliance. It’s… a promise.”

This imaginary babbling makes you frown. So the concept of good relationships between demons and their masters actually exists. Even though you didn’t see it in any book you’ve read. But the nerd got this idea from somewhere, right? You didn’t listen to his agitated mumbling too closely, but now his words reveal a whole new meaning. And here you thought that he was just a romantic nerd who is into heroic stories too much. You need to interrogate Levi as soon as possible; he was on to something.  

So, if all of this is true, does that mean that Belphie secretly treated you better than you thought? You’ve never had any difficulties dragging him into your head. You were activating his pact constantly, without any obstacles. So does he?...

No. Don’t be ridiculous. If anything, my case proves that all your conclusions are wrong. I’ve never liked you even for a second, human.

You sigh as you hear Belphie’s voice. You almost forgot that he was here. The demon kept quiet, either listening to your thoughts, or thinking about your offer.

Your offer is pure bullshit, human. Want to get rid of me and avoid doing anything that would actually hurt Lucifer or Diavolo? Do you think I can be satisfied by a ‘rematch’? I want something better than this. And since your brain is as empty as ever, I came up with my own idea. Listen closely, human, because now I’m in charge here…

***

You toss your third cigarette into a trash can, breathing out the smoke and looking at the familiar building right in front of you. The damn skyscraper of Spicy News. The House of Lamentation, RAD, the castle - all this is situated in the historic district of the city. But if you wander off far enough, you can get to more modern areas, where skyscrapers are not such an oddity. You’ve been here with Asmo only once, but it was more than enough, in your opinion. But Belphie doesn’t share it.

How long will you drag this on? It was you who whined that you didn’t have much time because of your stupid camping trip. Go there, or I will scream again.

Your face twists at the memory of Belphie’s shouting. The demon was assaulting your brain with his screams every time you disagreed with him. You’ve spent the whole night arguing with each other, so now your head feels like it’s been repeatedly stabbed a dozen times. He made you come to this damn place, on a Saturday morning, without letting you sleep even for an hour. Belphie and severe headache are killing you, making you wish to do anything to make it stop. But no matter how much you try to activate the mark and interrupt the connection, it stays cold. You still feel a faint hint of warmth since the power is technically working, but it doesn’t respond to your attempts to turn it off.

Despite all that, you’re still fighting. Because Belphie’s plan is too dangerous and stupid, even by your standards.

Oh, look who is talking! It seems you still don’t understand the situation you’re in, human. Well then, I can do it for all eternity. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

You lean on the wall, afraid to lose balance from the pain that intrudes into your mind. Constant audio tortures do unpleasant tricks to your brain, making it affect the most unexpected parts of your body. You lose your coordination when Belphie starts screaming like that, to the point that you can just fall to the ground. Your stomach also responds with the intention to vomit your breakfast out, but so far you have managed to avoid it. Your pulse becomes incredibly high, making you feel dizzy. All in all, the more Belphie screams, the worse your body reacts. The idea of knocking yourself out has visited your mind more than once. But it’s unknown how local drugs can affect humans, so sleeping pills are not an option. Right now, you’re on the verge of starting to bang your head against the wall to make yourself lose consciousness. Though you suspect that if Belphie keeps this up, your body will shut itself down on its own. Unfortunately, so far, you have managed to stay conscious.   

That’s what you get for playing with my emotions, jerk. Remember these sensations for the rest of your life, and never dare to disrespect me again.

You shake your head, regaining control over your body once again. The screaming stopped, so you get a little breather. But it never lasts too long.

Your gaze returns to the skyscraper, making you frown. Belphie’s plan was simple: if you can’t hurt a powerful demon directly, hurt their reputation. After many disputes, you managed to convince Belphie that he needed to choose one target for the mission. He chose Diavolo.

When your soul left your body, you had to chase your corpse across the whole castle. Which led you to the Labyrinth, an underground structure full of secrets. Including Diavolo’s secrets. Belphie was there when you saw the corpses of four demons lying in the trash. He saw in your thoughts who they were and where they were supposed to be. Your fight with those four demons was the talk of the city for a long time. It gained a lot of attention and attracted controversial opinions. It was stated that the attackers, after getting treatment in a hospital, would be imprisoned in the dungeons of the castle. And a lot of demons thought that it was too harsh of a punishment for assaulting some puny human. So what kind of backlash could it be if someone ratted out that the four demons were in fact dead, by the prince’s hand? Diavolo’s reputation would be stained, and this fact delights Belphie a little bit too much.

You’ve spent the whole night discussing the consequences of this plan with Belphie. While he couldn’t care less about the exchange program and Diavolo, he was still dependent on you. If Diavolo lost support, if he had to shut down the whole exchange program, you would simply return home. While Belphie would remain stuck in the attic, for who knows how long. And in the end, this whole thing would inevitably end with the fight between brothers, which would destroy not only the Human world but also Beel, Belphie, maybe the whole family… But Belphie didn’t share your pessimism:

Don’t act like a little kid. We have no proof; we don’t know where the bodies are anymore. Why do you think we are going to Spicy News? Because they are ready to work even with such unconfirmed rumors. Whatever they write about Lord Diavolo won’t hurt him half as much as you think. It’ll damage his reputation, finally, after all those years of these stupid idiots treating him like an idol with no flaws. But it’s not like he killed someone important. People will talk about it for a week and then move on, but Lord Diavolo’s reputation will remain stained. He won’t be forced to stop the exchange program. But he will still suffer. For the first time ever, he will face criticism. I was the only one who dared to openly say anything against his egocentric demands. We were always doing everything he wanted. Always! No matter how stupid his plans were, they were obligatory. Do you think it’s fair? Do you think that hundreds of years of such treatment didn’t get to his head? Nobody opposed him, and now he feels like he can do anything with no consequences. We’ll show him that it’s not true. We won’t do much damage, but it’ll be a precedent. It’ll be a start.  

You let out a heavy sigh, remembering all the endless talks you’ve had throughout the night. It’s not like you were endlessly loyal to Diavolo or something. But it still doesn’t feel right to succumb to Belphie’s orders. Diavolo is a shady guy, and he tricked you more than once, but… He still treated you well. For some reason, you have a soft spot for him. So now this whole plan feels like a betrayal of his trust.

You’re making me sick. Get on with it, human. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

You can’t hold back a quiet whine as your hands instinctively cover your aching head. You clench your teeth as you wait for another assault to end. What will give up first: your body or your mind? As much as you like Diavolo, you’re not ready to sacrifice your physical and mental health to protect him. You brought it upon yourself, sure, but you need to get out of this situation somehow. Well, it seems that you’re no longer Diavolo’s teammate.

Finally. Now go.

Your only hope to get out of this is if journalists at Spicy News suddenly become competent enough to not believe you without any proof. If they refuse to write an article about an unconfirmed accusation, Belphie will have to accept defeat. They were avoiding writing anything that would criticize Diavolo directly, so maybe they’ll refuse to take such a risk this time as well.

Your history with this company makes you wonder how safe it is for you to even approach this place. Well, it’s not like you have to be scared of a couple paparazzi, right?

I don’t care what kind of history you have with this rotten place. Go inside, or I’ll start screaming and won’t stop till you go mad.

So, you obediently march into the skyscraper. It feels strange to be here during the working hours when the whole building is overfilled with numerous demons. There is a new guard at the entrance, but the number of people walking in and out is so large that you manage to sneak past him without any problems.

You’re inside, so… What now? They should have some kind of department that works with sources for the news, right? You hesitantly approach a large board on the wall of the main hall, which contains the list of all the offices in the building. You squint your eyes as you search for something that would look like a place you need when you hear someone calling your name.

“Oh my, isn’t it the one and only Castiel, the star of the infamous exchange program?” You turn around and meet a very familiar face. You already met this lady when you and Asmo were attacked by paparazzi. Her long blond hair and shark teeth are the features that you remembered the most, but they are enough to identify the person in front of you. She was impressively persistent with her uncomfortable questions, so you don’t want to interact with her too much.

That’s who we need! Come on, tell her that you have exclusive material for her!

It takes a lot of effort for you to not wince at Belphie’s words. This lady is clearly bad news, but who are you to argue with the parasite in your head?

You…

“And you must be the famous journalist of Spicy News! Big fan of your work, by the way.” You try to smile politely. “I’m so glad to meet you here! To be totally honest, I came to share some exclusive information with your lovely newspaper, but I have no idea where I need to go. Could you help me?”

I hate it when you try to act politely. Makes me want to puke at how fake it is.

“Are you… serious?” The lady widens her eyes but then quickly switches to a bright, smarmy smile. You would prefer her to hide those sharp teeth. “You couldn’t choose more perfect timing! Please, my dear, follow me!”

You follow the lady to the elevator, then to her office. And you have to listen to Belphie’s enthusiastic cackling the whole way. The dude celebrates before the whole thing even starts, he’s clearly too invested.

Shut up!

“Please, dear, sit here!” The Shark lady points at the chair in front of her working desk. You settle on it, watching her sit down at her table. She looks just as excited as Belphie sounds. “Now, dear, tell me everything that you have on your mind. And don’t worry, it’s completely anonymous. Not even the future king himself will learn about this meeting.”

You smile at her, masking your skepticism. After all, you and Asmo stole the hard drive of their CEO rather easily and killed two of their guards, so the security here is definitely not the best.

Wait, wait, wait… You and Asmo did WHAT?!

“But I have to ask first: why did you choose us to tell your story?” The Shark lady looks at you attentively, her piercing gaze doesn’t suit her happy grin.

“I just heard that you are one of the few who are not afraid to tell the truth.” You say, carefully looking around the room. Just a regular office, nothing too unusual. Still, something feels off. Maybe your tired brain is playing tricks on you. “Because my story is… You see, it involves the future king himself.”

“Oh my, this is definitely shocking!” the journalist exclaims, looking absolutely delighted. “As I said, your timing is perfect, my dear! I just got an official permission to publish any material on Lord Diavolo I can find. So don’t worry, your story will definitely be published! Tell me everything!”

“Hm? So there was some kind of restriction on such stories, huh?” you ask curiously, trying to avoid telling anything specific as long as possible. Something disturbs you, but you can’t understand what it is.

“Oh, my dear, I have to admit that there were some complications. Well, it seems that Lord Diavolo’s underlings decided to start an open war with us, so we just have to respond appropriately, don’t you think?” The Shark Lady bares her teeth in a wide smile, sending shivers down your spine.

Maybe coming here was a bad idea after all. Asmo assumed that the Lord who is in charge of this newspaper may plan to kill you, to ruin the exchange program. But you thought that you must beware of literal killers, not damn paparazzi. How many people are involved in this anti-Diavolo political campaign? You thought that it was more like a secret organization, or only one person, that works in the shadows and gives instructions to the CEO of Spicy News, not the whole fucking media company.

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE INVOLVED IN SOMETHING LIKE THIS?! WHY DIDN’T I SEE ANY OF THIS WHILE WE WERE DISCUSSING OUR PLAN TO COOPERATE WITH SPICY NEWS?!

Well, maybe if Belphie screamed a little less, you would have enough time to tell him about the whole thing with Spicy News, the mysterious Lord, and your plan to kill them with the help of Mephisto, Asmo, Satan, Levi, and Solomon. But instead of listening to your input, the demon preferred to shut you up every time you tried to tell him anything reasonable. You’re not the only one who gets carried away after getting some kind of power.

YOU DUMB FUCK! GET OUT OF THERE, NOW!

You sigh with a smile, relieved that Belphie finally listened to you. It would be cool to reach some understanding before getting into the death trap, but oh well. Now you just need to escape.

“You know,” you say, standing up. “Since you had such restrictions in the first place, I think I’ll take my business elsewhere. I can’t be sure that you’ll do my story justice. Thank you for your time.”

But of course, you hear the clicking of the lock as the door closes. The metal security shutters instantly cover the windows and the door, plunging the whole room into darkness. You can’t see anything around you, including the Shark lady.

“I’m afraid that it is not an option,” you hear her mocking voice behind your back. You turn around but still can’t see shit. Well, it seems like a great time to try to use Beel’s pact. If you managed to activate it during sex, surely you can use it for combat as well. You take out your brass knuckles, you have a feeling that they will complement Beel’s power nicely. “If you refuse to talk, I’ll have to make you.”

The first strike comes from the back. It seems that the Shark lady can move around the room silently, and the darkness doesn’t bother her too much. She targets your shoulder with her fangs, loudly snapping her jaws when you manage to dodge. She manages to tear the sleeve off your arm, but you are still fine.

The lady disappears into the darkness, waiting for the opportunity to strike again. It seems she prefers to avoid active combat, attacking only with the intention to finish the battle with one precise strike. Meanwhile, you try to concentrate on Beel’s mark. Your enemy gives you time to prepare since she doesn’t see you as a threat. Then you just have to use it to your advantage. You stop moving, listening to your surroundings, and attempting to use the power of the pact. But it seems that you still need more practice, connecting to the energy of the pact takes too much time.   

The attack on your left shoulder still catches you by surprise, despite your attempts to be careful. This time, the Shark Lady doesn’t miss. Her jaws clench around your flesh, dangerously close to your neck. You start hitting her head with brass knuckles, surely causing a ton of pain, but her teeth only dig deeper. Her arms snatch your body as she kicks you in the back of the knee, making your legs lose balance. She drops you on the floor, still holding you down with her fangs and arms.

What kind of journalist is this?! This lady is the most capable fighter you’ve met so far. Most of her advantage comes from the darkness, sure, but she took several hits in the head like it was nothing.

Cas! Damn it, get up!

You struggle, feeling the blood from your shoulder running down and forming a puddle right near your face. You try to toss the Shark lady to the side, but the more you move, the more damage her teeth cause to your body. She holds you, her long hair falls on your back as she digs her fangs deeper and deeper. You hear the cracking of your bones as her teeth get to them.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

Your heart starts racing faster as you feel your strength leaving you. It seems you were more exhausted than you thought. What an embarrassing display, caught by an office worker, after all that. It’s hard to imagine a more embarrassing end. But being eaten by a mirror is still on top of your list of deaths.

Cas! Shit, Cas, get up!

You try to focus on Beel’s mark, then on any mark that can possibly help you, but your consciousness slips away. Perhaps you give in too easily, but after several hours of endless noise and exhaustion, all you want is a little bit of rest. You are so tired. And the darkness full of silence looks much more alluring than anything right now.

Don’t you dare! No, you can’t give up! Not now! Cas!

You fall into the calming nothingness, at last, feeling only the pain in your shoulder.

…

The calming nothingness lasts for only three seconds before you’re forcefully dragged back. You almost want to fight back this annoying force, but it doesn’t let you go, pushing you back. You wake up to a burning sensation on your shoulder, intense heat around you, and complete emptiness in your brain. Belphie is no longer here, the connection stopped once you… did what, exactly? The sensations were too similar to the ones you experienced in the lake, but it can’t be right. You’re very much alive and…

“No… No-no-no-no…” You mumble with a shaky voice as you inspect your body. You stare at your shoulder in disbelief, trying to find at least a scratch left from the teeth of the Shark lady, but everything is gone. The only evidence of the attack is your torn clothes. Your dizziness, headache - everything is gone. You feel fucking amazing, and it scares the shit out of you.

But you have to snap out of it once a piece of the ceiling lands nearby, almost flattening you. Only now do you realize that the whole room is on fire, caused by Cerbie’s mark. But you didn’t activate it, right? You lost consciousness before you managed to do anything, so what the hell is going on?

You look around, searching for the Shark lady, but you find only a pile of ash. The fire alarm turns on, signaling that the whole building needs to evacuate. Water sprinklers activate, but they can’t do much against the hellish fire. The flames had already melted and burned down everything in the surrounding area, including security shutters, moving on to the next rooms. You need to move as well.

With a heavy sigh, you get up on your feet. This office building was very beautiful, built in a minimalistic, modern style. Perhaps working here was pleasant. Before you showed up. You slowly walk through the corridors, feeling no need to rush. Maybe the whole building will start falling apart within seconds, but you have no desire to run. The walls and furniture being swallowed by flames are too mesmerizing to watch, so you gawk at it while you can. It seems Belphie was right, and you are indeed a pyromaniac. The sight of everything being consumed by flames calms you down, but not enough for you to stop thinking about what happened.

Something saved you. But what? And how? You should be happy about your timely rescue, but you believe your intuition more than this mysterious savior. And intuition tells you that this intrusion into your personal affairs is a bad sign. Something is watching you. And you hate it, even if this… thing saved you. You want to live and die on your own terms, and whatever just happened took your freedom from you, even if it was just for a second. It forced its will upon you, and this pisses you off. Is it strange to be mad at being saved? Maybe, but you don’t care. Whatever it was, you need to learn its source. And stop it.

You manage to get out through the underground parking lot. There must be a lot of people near the main exit, maybe firefighters are also there. You want to avoid any attention, so you sneak away, stopping to look at the skyscraper only after you have walked for some time. The burning building looks terrifying and beautiful at the same time; you can only hope that the whole city won’t catch a fire. It seems that these flames are impossible to put down without some powerful magic.

A sudden appearance of a large shadow spooks you, making you twitch. Something massive flies right above you and heads to the burning skyscraper. You see the black flashes of demonic magic, and the fire disappears. Diavolo must’ve come to the rescue. You can only hope that he didn’t notice you. In any case, you should stop tempting fate any further and leave the area.

You head back home, wondering how rare these hellish flames are. Everybody will be looking for the person who made the building burn down, that’s for sure. Cerbie can’t be the only demon who can control this fire, right? Otherwise, you will be found very quickly.

You shake your head, trying to forget all the pessimistic thoughts. Despite everything, you survived. Again. That’s enough for now. You’ll deal with the rest later. Now it’s time to relax. It's a Saturday morning, which means it’s time to go camping with your… friends, it seems. Simeon wanted you to get some rest, so that’s what you’re going to do.

And recruit your fellow human to murder one of the most powerful and influential demons in the Devildom. And hide from potential assassins in the wilderness, who will be more active after you burned down the whole building of Spicy News. And hide from the cops and Diavolo, who have already started investigating the mysterious fire.

Yeah, you will do all that and take a proper rest, easy. Everything is totally fine, and you can freely catch a break.

…

Fuck, it’s a total disaster.

Chapter Text

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a damn till you can shout out
"I am what I am"

Gloria Gaynor - I Am What I Am

You walk toward the House of Lamentation, thinking about your shitty situation. As much as you wish to just dive into a complete denial of the catastrophe that is upon you, it is more important to prepare for the backlash. Cops, Diavolo, possible killers - all this is beyond your control, so all you can do is wait for the consequences to catch up. Meanwhile, it is important to think about what you’re going to tell your… friends. It’s still so strange to call those guys like that, but it seems that it’s the most fitting word. 

In addition to the inhabitants of the Purgatory Hall, Beel, Asmo, Levi, and Satan are going camping as well. The last three must be worried sick right now, the great fire in the Spicy News building should be all over the news. And they definitely won’t think that it was a coincidence. The guys will ask questions, and since you definitely can’t tell anything about Belphie, you should come up with a believable reason to be anywhere near journalists that may try to kill you.

You are still not sure what was the reason for that paparazzi to attack you. She clearly hinted that she knew about your involvement in the heist of the hard drive. But was she acting of her own accord, or she had the orders to kill you? If she was one of the killers, how many more such hidden murderers are within this damn company? It was quite stupid to just give up on explanations and let Belphie take you into the nest of vipers. But you didn’t expect that there was any real danger to begin with. Asmo’s fears about you being the target of the Lord seemed a little exaggerated to you. After all, you couldn’t be sure that they knew about your participation in the heist in the first place. But it looks like Asmo was right all along. In hindsight, you definitely should’ve been more careful, but the same thing could be said about literally every decision you’ve made so far.

What is even happening to you lately? Your theory about Belphie’s pact impacting your brain was a half-joke, but now you’re not so sure. You were always reckless, but not to this degree. You should prioritize your own wellbeing, as you always did. But instead, you’re coming up with quite suicidal solutions for all the challenges on your way. It’s a miracle that you’re still alive, considering that you completely lost your self-preservation instinct. Life throws enough shit your way, so why all you’re doing is only multiplying your problems?

You stop, watching the House of Lamentation from afar and hiding behind the fence. You can see Satan and Asmo on the porch. Satan is clearly trying to calm his brother down and prevent him from running out, searching for you. For some reason, seeing Asmo so worried spoils your mood even more. You don’t like seeing him like this. Or anyone, for that matter. 

You remember Diavolo’s sad face when he tried to persuade you to accept the protection of the student council. “I understand that you don’t care about other people’s feelings when you rush into danger head-first. But don’t blame me for the desire to avoid at least some hazards that you always seek and eventually find! You offer me to just stand aside, doing nothing, while you’re testing your luck, over and over?” That’s what he said. Maybe his words hit too close to home. You did react rather negatively, perhaps you were even too harsh; that much you are ready to admit. You’ve never stopped to think about his words, shrugging them off as something that endangers your freedom to act as you please. But now, when you watch Asmo’s face on the verge of tears and Satan’s hidden panic, you suddenly feel the need to rethink your way of living.

What is that about danger that is so mesmerizing to you? Why do you always seek it? Well, you definitely like the thrill of it, that’s for sure. Several years ago, when you decided to change your life and become a better man, the main obstacle for you was the need to give up on constant adrenaline. Being a dance teacher is very cool, but not as exciting as being an outlaw. No matter how much you hate your past, one thing is certain: you were never bored. But when you decided to change, you had to suppress your constant urge to seek danger. Therapy and dancing helped you to make this transition, as well as more legal ways to get adrenaline. Skydiving, hang gliding, bungee jumping - it was fun and fulfilling at first, but it was not it. It was a baby-mode, an illusion of real danger. With all the safety measures it was not life-threatening in the slightest. Which is an advantage for most people, but not for you. 

You thought that you would be happy after finally acquiring your own little apartment and a stable job that allowed you to earn money by doing what you loved. People find happiness in such things, but something was lacking for you, no matter how proud you were to change for the better.

So when you suddenly got teleported into the Devildom, you went all in. Before you even left the building of RAD, you decided to embrace chaos, and you definitely lived up to it. The craziness of demons suited you, and constant danger became addictive once again. Too addictive. To the point when you can’t trust your own decisions anymore. The Devildom is full of jeopardies, but Diavolo is right: you’re literally seeking them, whether consciously or subconsciously. 

Levi also appears on the porch, it's almost time to gather for the camping trip. Your nerd looks rough; he doesn’t cry like Asmo, but his face and neurotic behavior speak volumes. He’s anxious and on the verge of panic, but you don’t think that he’s that afraid of going camping. You’re the reason, and you couldn’t feel worse about it. 

Why do these demons care about your problematic ass so much? Well, you know that they apparently have a crush on you, but it’s still surprising. Nobody ever cared about you to such a degree. Maybe back at the orphanage, but there were too many children to actually feel that workers there cared about you personally. It was their job, and most of them did it well. It was never about you; you were always the one and only person who was actually concerned about your wellbeing. So the reactions you are witnessing right now are rather alien. These demons should know better than to get attached to you. You’re mortal, and what’s worse, you’re a reckless mortal. You honestly warned them that there is a high chance of you dying before this year ends…

Wait a second. When did the thought of death become so… acceptable? You like danger, yes, but it doesn’t mean that you want to die and you just seek the cool means for it. You’re ready for death if it comes, but you’ve never wanted to bring your demise closer. At least you thought you didn’t. Survival, that was the only goal of all your actions, from collecting the pacts to constant fights with demons. So when did it all go downhill? When you got used to saying that you may not survive this year and just accepted it? Why back at the skyscraper you didn’t want the unknown force to return you back? 

Or were you always like that and just didn’t notice? Do you secretly crave the peace of death?...

No, this is some bullshit. You’re just tired, that’s all. No human being can withstand the amount of pressure and stress that you’ve been experiencing ever since you got into this realm. Your mind and body are tired, so the calmness of death may look a little bit appealing. Just a little bit. But you’re no quitter. And all the shenanigans that sneaked back into your life definitely keep you entertained. Maybe the amount of adrenaline you’re getting is too much for your brain, but it’s partially your fault as well. A big chunk of your problems wouldn’t exist if not for your dumb decisions, so you’ll have to deal with the consequences of your actions. 

And do everything to prevent yourself from seeking problems on purpose. It’s nothing new that your self-destructive nature ruins your life but… 

Levi starts crying after all. Shit. You sigh and approach the House, you were standing in one place for long enough. 

Fuck, you don’t want to take responsibility for the mood of other guys. They like you, despite you being a walking red flag, and it should be their problem, not yours. But as soon as you started to like them back, seeing them being upset because of you became unbearable. This illogical urge to make them smile confuses the shit out of you. And makes you irritated. You’re supposed to be careful and look after yourself for your own sake, not for theirs. You don’t know when this shift in your mind happened, but you are less concerned about your own interests and start to prioritize others instead. It sure seems that Beel is not the only one who is capable of endangering your selfish way of living. Is it too late to try to distance yourself from these guys?

As soon as Asmo and Levi see that you’re alive and well, they immediately run toward you and hug your body from two sides. 

“We saw the news, and…” Levi murmurs, hiding his face in your shoulder. His arms on your upper back tremble, holding you tightly.

“Do you even know that there was fire in that damn skyscraper?! You disappeared, and I was worried sick…” Asmo’s hands squeeze your waist as he leans on you, talking loudly right into your ear. Both demons still have traces of tears on their faces. Satan prefers to stand nearby, but his genuine, relieved smile shows you all you need to know about his feelings.

Yeah, it’s already too late. It looks like you have to take responsibility, after all. And for some reason, the more the demons hug you, the less this idea irritates you.

“Yeah, guys, I’m all right, don’t worry…” you reply awkwardly, trying to come up with a believable story. All these thoughts about your contradictory nature didn’t allow you to think through your lie. Well, improvisation it is. “I gotta say, this morning was wild. I went to buy some things for the camp trip, when I was snatched by these bastards from Spicy News and brought to their ‘evil tower’. I think they wanted to learn about our plans from me, but Cerbie’s pact activated and burned the whole building to the ground.” 

“Wait-wait-wait…” Asmo releases you from his grasp and backs off, to look at you more attentively. “So you’re trying to say that it was you who burned down the whole building?!”

“Yep, Cerberus’ pact apparently grants me fire powers. It’s incredibly inconsistent and dangerous, but it saved me just now.” You still think that half-truths make for the best lies. You didn’t plan to tell anyone about your fire-powers before you master them, but sacrifices have to be made to keep the whole thing with Belphie a secret. “I ran away when I got the chance, so I hope that nobody saw me there, but still. I think the Lord and whoever works with him may consider this fire a declaration of war. We need to recruit Solomon and proceed with our plan as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, about that…” Satan says, still clearly thinking about your story. You can only hope that he didn’t sense anything suspicious. “I thought about that, and I think that we need to do everything tonight. We all will be far away from civilization, and technically we’ll have an alibi. If we all suddenly disappear on any other day, Lucifer will get suspicious.”

“I think you’re forgetting one little detail.” Asmo scoffs; it seems that this discussion started long before you arrived. “Simeon, Luke, and Beel. You think we’ll manage to sneak away without them noticing? Or you want to make them our accomplices as well? The more, the merrier, isn’t it?”

“I think there are a lot of ways to remove this problem. Solomon’s cooking, for example.” Satan smirks cunningly. He clearly enjoys plotting such dangerous plans.

“We are not poisoning the sweetest guys in the whole Devildom.” You frown, getting defensive. You wouldn’t mind poisoning literally anybody else, but those three don’t deserve it.

“Really?” Satan lifts his eyebrow, surprised by your sudden protest. “Didn’t expect you to be against it. I thought you were more merciless than that.”

“I’m merciless only to those who deserve it. We’ll find another way.”

“Let’s think about it when Solomon actually agrees to join us.” Levi finally speaks up, letting you out of his embrace. Hm, he was holding you the whole time and didn’t even pass out. You’re kind of proud of him. “One obstacle at a time. Beel, Simeon, and Luke are the least of our problems right now. Cas, others will arrive very soon, did you pack your stuff for a trip?”

“Oh shit, you’re right! I’ll go and take my things; I’ll be right back!” You rush to your room, realizing that you’re not ready for a two-day trip in the slightest. 

“I’ll go check on Beel. If he packs too much food, I don’t think there will be enough space in the car for all of us,” you hear Satan’s voice behind your back as you leave the guys. 

Once you arrive in your bedroom, you start shoving everything you see into your backpack, not having much time to think about what you’re taking. Inhabitants of Purgatory Hall will be here any minute, and you don’t want to keep anyone waiting. Besides, the quicker you leave the place, which cops, Diavolo, and killers will check first, the better. You’re kind of on a run right now, you just don’t know who is after you exactly.

“What’s the hurry?” A cheerful voice behind your back distracts you from your preparations, making you turn around. It’s Diavolo, shit. You would prefer to deal with cops or killers, to be honest. The prince casually leans on the door, blocking your escape route. Well, you still have a window behind your back… 

“Camping trip. Gonna strengthen relationships and all that.” You try to reply as calmly as possible, but you feel like your voice or face will betray you. So you return to collecting different stuff lying around the room to hide your nervous gaze. “And what are you doing here? Did Simeon invite you as well?”

“No, but I wish he did. If I had known about this trip earlier, I would have made sure to keep my schedule free of work for today,” Diavolo says in a rather friendly manner. It’s a shame that you can’t look him in the eyes right now, usually you can understand his thoughts clearer this way, but you can’t risk it. Not when you can’t control your own reactions. 

“Yeah, you look like a guy who would enjoy camping. Shame that you won’t join.” You do your best to support this meaningless small-talk. All the stuff you could think of is already in your backpack, so it’s time to leave. But Diavolo continues to block the door. “Look, I kind of in a hurry, angels and Solomon will arrive any second, so… I wish I could chat more, but I gotta go.” You try to get past the massive prince, but he stops you by putting his hand on your chest. Diavolo leans closer, lowering his head toward your face.

“You smell like smoke,” he whispers into your ear. “You’ve been training in making fire with traditional methods? Most admirable preparation for the camping trip.” 

“Your ability to read my actions so easily makes me a little nervous, Your Majesty.” You turn to him and look him in the eyes. There is no point in hiding, he knows.

“Making you nervous is the last thing I want, Castiel. I remember how you reacted last time.” Diavolo smiles, rubbing his face. Yeah, you are still proud of making him bleed, even though he healed himself within seconds and clearly wasn’t fighting at his full force. “And I remember how adamant you are on keeping your business private. You asked for respect and you’ll get it. On one condition.”

“Well then, spill the beans, Majesty.” You smirk, tensing more with every word. 

“You’ll be careful. As simple as that.” The prince puts his hand on your cheek, gently caressing it. It’s warm, and despite the fact that Diavolo is a clear threat to your plans, this touch makes you relax a little. “One more close call and I won’t hesitate to intrude into your affairs. I don’t know what you’re planning exactly, but I won’t insist on explanations. You’re free to act as you please, but as soon as I learn about your life being in serious danger, I won’t be able to ignore the situation.”

“And how exactly will you act?” You tilt your head, observing Diavolo’s serious face. 

“Depends on whatever you got yourself into this time.” Diavolo laughs softly, putting his second hand on your shoulder. “Also, I’ll have to insist on you accepting the supervision of the brothers. And if they won’t be effective bodyguards, I’ll have to make your security my personal duty.”

“I don’t think you have time for this, Majesty.” You try to smirk, but you don’t like Diavolo’s threats in the slightest. There are too many chances that they will come true. You did decide to act more carefully just now, but you doubt that you’ll be successful, no matter how hard you’ll try. Do the potential killers of some Lord count as ‘your life being in danger’? If so, you already fucked up in Diavolo’s eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’ll always have time for you.” Diavolo gives you a charming smile. “Especially after I’ll insist on moving you into the castle. If the brothers fail their task of protecting you, I’ll conclude that the castle is a much safer place than the House of Lamentation.” 

“Now that’s just an abuse of authority, Diavolo.” You smile, not sure whether the prince is joking or not. You observe his determined eyes, stubborn expression on his face… Yep, he is serious. “Quite funny that you call the castle a safer place, considering that I almost died there. Twice.”

“It will be a safer place after Barbatos finishes his inspection.” Diavolo frowns, he can’t really argue with you on this topic. “But I’m getting ahead of myself. It sure looks like you have everything under control. And even if not, I’m sure that the brothers will do their best to protect you. Especially after I’ll make it clear that you’ll move to the castle if they fail. I think it will be a great motivation, don’t you think?”

“Oh, please, don’t tell them that. They will never leave me alone after this…” You sigh, thinking about your options. 

You honestly want to be more cautious, just… You’ll do it after the whole Lord thing. The plan to kill one of the Lords is already crazy, and if Diavolo learns about any of it, it’ll be a disaster. He’ll lock you in the castle this instant. If not out of concern for your wellbeing, then to save his reputation. For now, he thinks that your unpredictability is something charming and exciting. What will happen after he learns that you intend to kill (and hopefully succeed) one of his noble subjects? That will be the moment when he starts to view you as a nuisance, at best. And a threat at worst. You need to prevent him from learning anything. And get on his good side, just in case. How charming do you have to be to make Diavolo forgive you for destabilizing the political situation in his realm? 

“I need a deferment.” You look at the prince, trying to match his determination.

“...Excuse me?” Diavolo looks at you with confusion in his eyes, removing his hands from your cheek and shoulder.

“A deferment. A postponement, call it whatever you want. I need… three days. Give me three days of pure freedom without any conditions. Whatever happens within this term, you won’t count it toward your imaginary scale of ‘putting my life in danger’. You won’t try to learn what I’m doing, and you won’t intrude under any circumstances. After that, I promise to be a fucking angel. Well, to a reasonable degree. But I’ll genuinely try to be careful and not provoke any more dangers.”

“So… You want to do something so risky, that you’re sure that if I learn about it, I’ll make the brothers look after you this instant?” Diavolo crosses his arms, staring at you with his golden eyes. “I appreciate the honesty, but maybe you should consider dropping this plan if you already know my reaction to it.”

“No can do, Majesty.” You shake your head. “This is too important. One last time, one last risk. And I’m stopping getting on your nerves forever. You can see lies. Now tell me: am I trying to lie to you right now?”

“It doesn’t look like it, but let me repeat myself. Do you expect me to stand aside, doing nothing, while you’re testing your luck?” Diavolo has a complicated expression on his face. You can’t say whether he is angry, disappointed, or sad. 

“Yes.” You nod and gently put your hand on his face. Diavolo winces but doesn’t move away from your touch. “Look I… It’s funny, actually. I was just thinking about our heated argument that we had that day, right before you showed up. And you know, I’m sorry. You were just worried about me, and I treated you unfairly. No matter how much I wanted to save my privacy, I should’ve chosen other words for that. And I agree that I’m being too reckless most of the time. I intend to change that. Not only because I want to avoid an early grave, but because I don’t want to see this sad expression on your face.” Your fingers caress Diavolo’s cheek. The demon looks much calmer now, but he’s still frowning. “I appreciate that you listened to my desires and didn’t force me to accept the constant supervision. There is a lot at stake, and you take a huge risk by allowing me to just wreak havoc. You’ve put your trust in me, and it means a lot. I promise to repay you in kind, but only after I’ll do whatever I planned. Please, I need one more benefit of the doubt. And after I deal with everything, I’ll do my best to behave.”   

“Honestly, I’m not sure anymore whether you’re even capable of behaving…” Diavolo laughs softly, leaning closer to your hand. “But fine. I’ll give you your postponement. Only because I see that you’re honest with me. I’m glad that my words got through to you, at least to some degree. I just want you to know…” Diavolo turns his face toward your hand and kisses your palm. “I don’t want to change you. I just want you to be more careful. I don’t want to lose you after I finally found you.”

“Found me?” you ask, continuing to caress his face. “Don’t tell me there is some stupid prophecy about me.”

“No, nothing like that. It was more like an anticipation. My personal one, but maybe others felt something similar as well. The anticipation of meeting a special person. Maybe this feeling was the reason why I didn’t end up dating anyone. I was waiting, but didn’t know for whom, and how long I was supposed to wait.” Diavolo smiles, looking you in the eyes. “I know that you don’t believe in fate. There were times when I doubted it existed as well. The longer I waited, the more difficult it was to keep believing. So when you appeared, I was full of doubts. I still am, actually. I’m afraid to believe that it finally happened, after all this time…” 

Diavolo stops himself, seeing how you tensed up. It’s romantic and all, and if you were a little bit more naive, you would be flattered. But you see a hidden threat behind his words. What will the prince do if he decides that you’re indeed his ‘special person’? Will he let you go after the whole exchange program is over? You can’t be sure about that. Diavolo makes you more and more nervous with his every word and action. 

“I’m getting ahead of myself again, sorry.” The prince gives you his on-brand charming smile in an attempt to ease the situation. “I didn’t mean to put any pressure on you. You are not obligated to respond to my feelings if that is not what you want. I don’t expect you to go against your wishes for my sake, and I will never force you to.”

“If you say so, Your Majesty,” you reply, masking your suspicion. You have no reason to believe Diavolo, but you also can’t push him away, just in case he ends up learning about your plan to kill the Lord. You need to break the ice between you both, but also stay vigilant. Quite a hard feat, but luckily for you, the prince already melts under your touches. So it seems that you won’t have to try too hard to make him fall for you completely. 

Your hand is still on Diavolo’s cheek, he let you into his personal space, so you have to use this opportunity. Your fingers start to massage his face anew, making Diavolo slightly shiver from their movements. The demon enjoys your touches, looking like he would purr if he could. He is clearly touch-starved, and you wouldn’t be yourself if you didn’t exploit this revelation. You try to hide an amused smirk as your fingers explore sensitive parts of Diavolo’s body. Nothing inappropriate, for now, but the prince reacts rather sensitively nonetheless. His face, his ears, his neck - all of this begs you to touch him more. 

But when you get to his hair, that’s when Diavolo really can’t hold back his reaction. His shaky breathing and a quiet half-whine half-moan startles not only you but him as well. All you did was give him a couple of head-pats, and it was already enough for the prince to let out such awesome sounds. You expected Diavolo to blush and act all embarrassed. After all, such a reaction goes against his usual royal demeanor, no matter how openly and cheerfully he usually acts. But the prince surprised you by calmly embracing his enjoyment. He just smiles and leans closer, pressing you against the doorway. 

“More,” he whispers as he puts his head on your shoulder. Shit, this prince is too dangerous. If he keeps acting like that, you’ll end up falling for him as well. Still, you can’t say no when he asks you so nicely. Your hands continue to ruffle Diavolo’s hair, making him smile from pure bliss. His body presses on you more and more, pinning you to the door. You certainly don’t mind, the feeling of his weight and warmth is something you enjoy tremendously. You like all body types, but there is something absolutely mind-blowing about bulky guys like Beel and Diavolo. Maybe because back in the Human World, such size was a rarity, so you didn’t have a chance to have an affair with anyone so much bigger than you. It’s kind of exciting to be the smaller one, for a change. 

“Excuse me.” Satan’s voice instantly shatters the relaxing atmosphere between you and Diavolo. You quickly remove your hands from the prince’s hair, but Diavolo doesn’t act so hasty. He slowly raises his head from your shoulder, with the confidence of a man who doesn’t mind showing his feelings in public. Diavolo is not embarrassed whatsoever that Satan saw you patting his head. If anything, he is just annoyed to be interrupted.

“Yes?” the prince asks coldly as he turns to Satan. You’re still stuck between the doorway and Diavolo’s body, and it doesn’t look like the demon intends to let you go.

“Simeon, Luke, and Solomon arrived, so we are all waiting for Castiel. We all would be grateful if you let him go, Lord Diavolo.” Satan replies casually. It’s impossible to tell what he is thinking, but he definitely looked more pleased when he witnessed you beating up Diavolo earlier. 

“Right, I completely forgot.” Diavolo nods and turns to you with a smile. “We’ll continue this discussion later, when you return. I’ll go check on Lucifer, he promised to prepare some reports for me. Have fun on your trip!” He lifts one of your arms and kisses the back of your hand. Then he finally leaves, calmly strolling past Satan.

You sigh in frustration, trying to gather your thoughts. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to hear about you almost dying twice in the castle.” Satan crosses his arms, studying you from a distance. 

“So you basically heard the whole thing. Amazing.” You frown, repeating the whole conversation in your head. You didn’t say anything too incriminating, but who knows what little details Satan noticed. 

“I assume that one close call was when that crazy bastard attacked you,” Satan says, clearly meaning Lucifer and your infamous chase across the city. “But I have no idea when you managed to nearly die for the second time.”

“I’m surprised that you forgot about the whole slime thing. That was kind of terrifying.” You try to laugh it off, picking up your backpack and heading toward the exit. 

“We both know that there was no real danger there. They faked the work of the security system, so you can’t seriously consider this a near-death experience.” Satan frowns and follows you, not pleased that you don’t want to give him any answers. “You are lucky that we don’t have much time, but I’m not dropping this topic so easily.”

“I’m confused why you care about this so much.” You stop and turn to face Satan. 

“Because I hate secrets. If something is going on, I want to have all the information about it.” Satan replies with a scowl. “You are so loud and obnoxious, that I didn’t expect you to be able to stay inconspicuous and hide so many mysteries. First it was that escapade with Spicy News, and now I learn about some schemes between you and Lord Diavolo.”

“Relax, they don’t concern you in the slightest. It’s between me and him.”

“Really? He’s already suspicious of OUR plan, thanks to you!” Satan almost growls.

“I didn’t have much choice of how I could escape the captivity, Satan.” You reply, trying to contain your annoyance. Technically, Satan has every right to be mad at you, but he doesn’t know the whole story, so such a reaction feels unfair. “It’s not my fault that Diavolo figured out whose fire it was.”

“Fuck, I know!” Satan shouts at you, but then makes a conscious effort and stops himself. The demon closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths. It takes him several seconds to stop clenching his fists and relax his body. “Ugh, sorry. Sometimes it just… happens. I don’t know whether I’ll ever be able to fully control it.”

“It’s fine.” You nod, watching how Satan returns to his usual self. “I’m impressed that you’re able to stop yourself from raging in the middle of a quarrel. I usually need something physical to calm down. Like to punch someone or be punched.”

“Yes, this helps as well. But this option is not always available. My brothers mostly prefer not to engage in a fight with me, running away instead. So I either destroy everything around me, or have to suppress the rage on my own.” Satan says with fatigue in his voice. He then smiles. “Levi made me a game not so long ago. The one that fully transports you into the game world. I can destroy and kill anything I want there, it helps a lot with such episodes.”

“Shit, you have to show me this game. I could use such stress relief from time to time,” you reply, impressed by demonic technologies. Though it seems that it's more like a combination of both magic and technology. When it comes to everyday appliances, like washing machines and kitchen stuff, demons are not as modern as humans. But it doesn’t matter, since magic helps to make up for all the shortcomings of outdated machinery. 

“I’ll show you. If it doesn’t ruin your image of goody two-shoes you’re going for.” The demon smirks mockingly.

“Oh, come on, I just promised to be more careful, that’s it.” You roll your eyes and head to the front door. Satan follows you.

“You shouldn’t let anyone force you to change. No matter what good intentions they claim to have,” Satan says seriously. “It’s in your blood to be a violent, reckless jerk. As long as you personally have no problems with it, why bother? It’s the stupidest thing you can do - to try to change for anyone. Any changes you’re doing should be for yourself, that’s it. And if anyone has any problems with your current attitude, screw them.”

“I kind of have a problem with it as well, though…” you mumble to yourself, opening the door. 

“Finally!” Asmo exclaims, turning toward you. “We’ve been waiting for ages! Hurry up and get into the car! Tiel, you’re taking the front seat, Satan, you’re in the back!”

You approach the car that will be your vehicle for two days. It’s an 8-seater minivan that has two front seats and two rows of back seats. Satan shares the last row with Simeon and Luke. Beel, Levi, and Asmo are sitting in the center, and you are in the front with Solomon. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Solomon smiles at you once you throw your backpack in the trunk and settle next to him. “Simeon can’t drive, so I took the wheel. But the road is quite long, and I would prefer to let you drive for the second half. Always found it exhausting to concentrate on the road for more than a couple of hours. Asmo told me that you’re a good driver.”

“Sure, no problem.” You smile back, fastening your seatbelt. You’re certain that it’s part of the plan of recruiting Solomon, but it seems that the sorcerer already likes you enough to join your group. Still, it’s you who finds it easy to intrude into the inner conflict of the other realm. You can’t be sure that Solomon will share your opinion. Oh well, you’ll have to figure it out when you get to your destination. 

“You’re in charge of the playlist,” Solomon says as he turns on the GPS and starts the car. “Choose something energetic, please.”

“Hm…” You rummage through the list of the songs on your phone. “How about we start with a classic ‘On The Road Again’? Is it energetic enough?”

“Perfect!” Solomon smiles, leading the car toward the end of the driveway and smoothly turning to the road. 

“Guys!” Levi leans forward and squeezes between you and Solomon. “If you need a playlist, I have one right here: a collection of the best anime openings, which includes such hits like…”

“No!” The response of all the passengers is loud and clear. You’re even impressed by such instant unanimity.

“You know what, Levi. Fu- I mean screw them.” You stop yourself just in time, remembering that there is a kid in the car. Well, you were the one who asked Mammon to teach Luke to swear, but you don’t want to make Simeon angry. So you’ll have to watch your tongue for the time being. “Give me your phone, we’re going to listen to some anime hits.”

“Really?!” Levi shines like the sun. He deserves it, especially after you made him cry earlier. “Start with this one ! I think you’ll like it. It’s from One Strike Man, and it’s both J-Pop and Rock, and it’s energetic, just like Solomon wanted, and…”

“Fine,” Solomon sighs, trying to pay attention to the road. “Turn it on, I guess.”

“Hm, I actually like this shi- I mean thing,” you say, after listening to the song for a while.

“See? I told you!” Levi looks incredibly happy that you like his choice of music.

“I prepared some buns for the road.” You hear Simeon’s voice from a distance. “Who wants some?” 

“Me!” Beel is predictably the first to react. 

“Eat carefully, or I’ll make you wash the whole car later.” Satan casually threatens his brother, but Beel is used to it, so he pays no mind. 

“Asmo? Do you want some?” Simeon offers and hands the demon a bun.

“No, honey, I’m on a diet. But thank you anyway.” Asmo accepts the offering and leans closer to the front seats. “Tiel, you should eat. I bet you didn’t have breakfast.” He tries to shout loud enough for you to hear him over the song and hands you the bun.

“Thanks,” you smile and take a bite. “Simeon, it’s delicious!” You also shout loudly for the angel to hear you.

“I’m glad you liked it!”

“So this is how the whole road will be, huh.” Solomon smiles with hidden suffering. After you quizzically look at him, he elaborates. “Loud. I should’ve expected it, but still. You know, don’t mind me. I sound like an old fogy, I know.” 

“It looks like someone didn’t get enough sleep.” You smirk, sneakily caressing his leg. Solomon indeed looks tired and even paler than usual. 

“Yes, too much work lately. But I’m fine, a day spent outside will help me regain energy.” Solomon replies and shifts his leg closer to you, so it was easier for you to fondle him. 

“I’ll take the wheel in an hour. No need to wait longer than that. And you’ll get some rest, as much as possible, okay? I’ll turn off the music so you can try to sleep.” 

“It doesn’t seem fair to make you drive the majority of the way.” Solomon frowns.

“I love driving. And someone once said that it’s important to lean on others.” 

“Don’t use my words against me,” Solomon laughs, but you see that he is grateful. “Thanks, I think I could use a break.”

“No problem.” You smile and listen to all things at once: the roaring of the engine, another anime song, loud voices behind your back and quiet, tired sighs of Solomon. You have a feeling that it will be a good day.

Chapter Text

Put it in the closet, lock the doors
I'm wondering which one is worse
Is it mine or is it yours?
Put it in the closet, lock the doors
Wondering which one is worse
I'll show mine if you show yours

P!nk - Secrets

“My dearest, I think we all here appreciate the rare glimpses of your kindness…” Asmo speaks slowly and calmly, but loud enough to outvoice Satan’s hysterical cackling in the background. “But we would appreciate it even more, if you thought a little more about yourself and possible outcomes of your generosity. It was very gracious of you to offer to take the wheel instead of Solomon, who clearly needs to fix his sleep schedule. But what would be even better, is if you didn’t forget to mention that YOU WERE EVEN MORE SLEEP-DEPRIVED THAN HIM!”

You can’t say anything in your defense, so you just wince under Asmo’s furious gaze. You felt completely fine the whole time Solomon was driving, and even a couple of hours after that, when you were in charge of the car. Your organism often shuts down once you get to safety after some stressful event. The more tired you are, the higher the possibility. It happened after the whole Cerberus debacle, but it didn’t happen this time, despite Lucifer and Belphie preventing you from getting any sleep at night.

But it turned out that you jumped to conclusions too quickly. It seems that the conversation with Diavolo kept you on your toes and boosted the amount of adrenaline. You managed to fully calm down only in the car, but your own body betrayed you at the worst moment possible: when you were in the driver’s seat. 

“I told you,” Satan barely manages to hold back his laughter when he sits near you on a log and friendly pats your shoulder. “It’s in your blood. No matter how hard you try to change, your nature will always be with you.”

“It’s almost like Cas is the Avatar of Chaos or something…” Levi speaks up, thoughtfully watching Solomon and Beel try to fix the car. The front tires are damaged, but they are easy enough to replace. The scratches on the front are noticeable, but nothing too scary. Solomon reacted quickly enough to stop the car from crushing into a tree. The main problem is that the vehicle doesn’t want to start anymore.

You tried to offer your help with repairs, but everybody unanimously decided to not let you near the car ever again. At least till you get some sleep. So now, Beel and Solomon, as the only other people here who have any idea how cars work, try to fix the problem you caused. Satan did read some books on the matter, but he decided to taunt you instead of helping. 

“Can humans be the Avatars of something?” Luke interrupts Levi. The whole ordeal was scary, and you’re insanely grateful to Solomon that he managed to avoid the worst outcome and nobody got hurt. Even Luke looks fine; perhaps, after dealing with insanely angry Lucifer and the flesh-eating slime during the retreat, other dangers don’t seem as scary. The little angel curiously peeks under the bonnet as Beel twists something inside. At least you get something good out of this situation: the sight of Beel working on a car is actually very alluring. 

“No, definitely not,” Satan replies and shakes his head, still keeping his hand on your shoulder. “But everyone has their sins. And Castiel definitely has plenty of them.” The demon smirks, squeezing his hand on your shoulder. “Though I think my sin is the most noticeable of all, right?”

“I don’t know, honey.” Asmo casually checks his makeup in the hand mirror. Not even a car crash is allowed to ruin his beauty. “I’d say my sin is even more predominant than yours. Wouldn’t you agree, Tiel?” he asks with a sly wink.

“Since it looks like we’ll have to stay in the area for a while,” Simeon intrudes into the conversation before it becomes too dangerous for Luke’s ears. “Let’s look around. It’s not the spot we initially chose, but maybe it’s for the best. No need to waste any more time on the road.”

You appreciate that Simeon tries to put a positive spin on a situation and cover for your mistake. But you partially agree with his words: a several-hour trip just for the sake of one-day camping was a bit too much. Besides, the area around you is rather pleasant. Pine trees in the distance, a long river nearby – all of it is perfect for camping.

“Let’s put our tents near the river!” Luke almost jumps from excitement, finally leaving Beel’s side and letting him concentrate on the repairs.

“Go out and explore; Beel and I got this.” Solomon waves at you with a friendly smile, hiding his exhaustion. You’ll need to pamper this poor man later.

Everybody who wasn’t busy with the repairs took part in finding the perfect spot for a camp. Satan used it as a chance to showcase the knowledge that he got from books about survival. Asmo was more into scenic, Devilgrammable spots than practical ones. Simeon was fine with whatever, enjoying the enthusiasm of others. Levi hated all of it, insisting on making a camp on some high hill. He desperately needed internet to collect daily bonuses, but he had no luck getting any connection in this wilderness.

Once the spot was finally chosen, it became abundantly clear that none of you knew how to put up a tent. Solomon had to come to the rescue once again, showing you how it’s done.

“One of the many advantages that humans have,” Solomon addresses you while you both work on a red tent, “is that we’re more prepared to deal with hardships and obstacles. Both angels and demons prefer to use their magic or brute strength. So when they’re put into a more challenging situation, where they need to go beyond their usual routine, they struggle much more than us.”

“Guess I’m a bad human, then.” You smirk, battling the metallic poles that are supposed to be the framework of the whole shelter. “It looks like I struggle quite a lot.”

“You’re doing quite well,” Solomon smiles and takes over your part of the work, demonstrating the right way to do it. “You lack experience, that’s all. You’re in your mid-twenties or so, correct? Now look at those creatures who lived for hundreds of years. At some point you just have to accept that some beings stay useless till the day they die.”

You look at the guys at the other end of an open area that you chose as your resting place. Despite Solomon’s instructions, the only person who is doing well is Simeon. Even Satan looks way out of his element. It seems Mammon was right: he’s pretty good at theoretical stuff, but anything that requires more than book knowledge is an uncharted territory for him.

“You’re a bit harsh, don’t you think?” You laugh it off, returning your attention to your own tent. It looks much better than the other ones because Solomon decided to help you not just with instructions but physically as well. “None of them are much into camping; no wonder we all depend on your expertise.”

“As soon as I heard Simeon planning such a trip, I immediately knew that I must go with all of you. Otherwise, it would be a total disaster,” the sorcerer chuckles, finishing the last steps of setting up a tent.

“Never imagined that you’d be good at it. You look like someone who prefers to spend time inside rather than outside.”

“Your assumption is correct; I’m not much of a nature lover.” The man rises to his feet and examines the fruits of his labor. He created a great shelter for you, that’s for sure. “I just chose to learn all the skills that may prove useful sooner or later. I’d hate to waste the time I have unproductively. Unlike… Well, no matter. I’m just glad to be of service.”

“You don’t really like demons, do you?” You tilt your head in curiosity. Solomon never was openly hostile toward demons, but all the little details about his history with Asmo and his choice of words suggest that you’re not far from the truth.

“I simply think that there are many more differences between us and them than Lord Diavolo realizes.” The sorcerer answers politely, hiding the coldness of his words behind a friendly smile.

“Then why join the exchange program?” And why did Diavolo choose Solomon for it? Levi mentioned that it was known right away that the magician was one of the exchange students.

“Curiosity, nothing more.” Solomon watches other guys from afar, without the intention to help them more than he already did. “You have to agree, the concept of the program is fascinating. And quite daring. It doesn’t matter whether I believe in the success of Diavolo’s plan. I simply couldn’t miss out on such a show.”

“I guess you’re quite skeptical about this whole thing, huh?” You don’t know whether you share Solomon’s view on this. Usually you would be the first one to doubt Diavolo’s grand idea. But as you grew closer to other demons and angels, you began to like the concept. You still don’t share Diavolo’s endless optimism, but you began to hope.

Maybe for you it’s not so much about the friendship between the Human world and the Devildom. It’s more about whether you personally can fit in and survive. A fun challenge at first, but now you have a faint desire to be a part of this world. At least temporarily.

“Do you think it’s possible to make peace between a wolf and a sheep?” Solomon asks suddenly. You notice tension in his voice.

“Only if a wolf loses its claws and fangs. Or if a sheep grows some fangs of its own.” You frown, wondering why this question sounds so familiar.

“Exactly.” Whatever Solomon heard in your answer made him extremely happy. He even gained some of his energy back, strolling in the direction of struggling demons. “I better help them. Otherwise, all our valuable time will be spent on this ridiculously easy task. You may take a little break; I don’t expect it to go much faster even with my help.”

You decide to take his advice and nap for a bit. Belphie didn’t let you sleep for even a second, so a short rest is very welcome. Especially considering that this night is going to be just as troublesome.

You wake up just in time for everybody to gather and make plans for the day. Beel successfully fixed the vehicle you damaged, and Solomon finished setting all the tents, almost single-handedly. Now it is time to think about food and firewood for the campfire.

You decide to divide into two teams: Asmo, Satan, and Luke being the firewood team; and Solomon, Simeon, Levi, and you being the food team. Beel is the only member of a so-called hybrid team: he will look for both firewood and food, but he’ll deliver only wood to the camp. The food team needs to be swift if they want to find anything before Beel empties both the forest and the river.

Luke is a bit out of place in the firewood team, but he is very determined to show that he can carry just as many heavy things as other members of the group. Asmo doesn’t fit in either; you can only imagine how tough the bark will be for his tender skin. But he is just as determined to show you how reliable he can be. You’ve never expected to witness such a strong kinship between Luke and Asmo, but these two want to prove themselves no matter what. You and Simeon can only smile softly at them, enjoying their adorable tenacity.

As soon as the food group starts working, Solomon drags you in the direction of the river. Levi is already swimming there, catching the fish somewhere at the very bottom with his bare hands.

The sorcerer has a more classic way of fishing in mind. He summons a metallic tackle box, full of everything you could possibly need to catch a fish. You’ve never held a fishing rod in your life, but Solomon is a patient and gentle teacher. For you, at least.

“I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re so good at this, right?” You smile, trying to follow all the instructions and not disappoint your mentor.

“There was a time when all that was available to me as food was fish. So I had to get good at it, for the sake of my survival.” Solomon hides his melancholy thoughts behind a smile. “It took me quite some time, but I can enjoy fish and fishing again. Especially since I have such pleasant company.”

When you start to hold your fishing rod with more confidence, the sorcerer summons the second box. This one is filled with several bottles of a very familiar beverage.

“Solomon, it’s a bad idea,” you chuckle, immediately fishing out one of the bottles. This man’s homemade beer was way too potent last time, but you don’t need to be very sober to catch something, right? How hard can fishing be?

“I improved the formula, don’t worry,” Solomon takes a big sip, savoring his creation. You follow his example, tasting the herbal notes of the beverage. It’s as delicious as last time, but it doesn’t hit you nearly as hard. You still feel fine and relatively sober.

“Who will have to drive us home tomorrow if we both have a hangover?” You smile: the whole fishing thing starts to become much more fun.

“I’m pretty sure that Asmo and Beel know how to drive… Or maybe not. We’ll worry about it tomorrow.” Solomon shrugs it off with a smirk.

“It’s nice to see you relaxing like this.”

“Really? Because I feel like every time we are together, I’m relaxing way too much.” The sorcerer vividly remembers how the party at Diavolo’s castle ended for him. He winces from the memories. “You make me very… inefficient and sloppy.”

“Doesn’t sound like a bad thing to me,” you shrug, trying to focus on the bobber. “You need to take a breather from being ‘efficient’, at least sometimes.”

“It’s not a bad thing. Just a sudden one.” Solomon gives you a slight smile. “I didn’t expect you to impact my life to such a degree. In the grand scheme of things, we barely even know each other. But, somehow, you have much more power over my decisions than I anticipated.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” you take another sip of beer, “you impacted me a lot as well. And I’m just as confused and disoriented as you are.”

“Really?” Solomon raises a brow and stares right into your eyes. He doesn’t believe you.

“Don’t think that I take your support for granted, Snow White.” You stare back at him; for some reason it’s important to you to make him believe your words. Well, you need his help with the whole assassination plan, sure. But it somehow feels like more than that. “You help me out all the time. You’re not the type to brag about it or even acknowledge it, but I appreciate it all the same. You saved my life twice, at the very least. You really think I’m so heartless that I’m not swooned by your chivalry?”

“You were the one who was against any kind of romantic involvement beyond sex.”

“Come on, I explained my reasoning…”

“And I accepted it. So why are we still on this topic?” Solomon tries to sound neutral, but it looks like this whole thing bothers him way more than he made you believe earlier. It seems that he has pretty low alcohol tolerance. Or you indeed make him act sloppier than usual.

“Because I want to treat you better than this?” you suggest, capturing the sorcerer’s attention once again. “Look, I still don’t get what you see in me and why you’re so kind to me. And it makes me believe that you have a shitty taste. But since it happened anyway and our feelings are mutual, let’s just roll with it. I won’t be the partner of your dreams, but I promise to make an effort.”

“Once again, I’m shocked that I thought of you as a romantic type,” Solomon can only chuckle at such a clumsy ‘love confession’. “Why have you suddenly changed your mind?”

“I realized that you were right, and I need support after all. Your support.” You look at the man near you: flannel shirt, knee-high shorts, a hat that protects his pale face from sun rays… Solomon is magnificent no matter what attire he chooses. “And I like you. A lot.” Solomon continues observing you, analyzing both your words and your behavior. “And I think you’ll be glad to hear that I decided to act more carefully in the future. Well, in a couple of days.”

“Why don’t you start today?”

“I still have a very important task to attend to. Tonight. And I could use your support.” You’re not sure whether you want to talk about it now. Solomon will decide that all you said was for the sole purpose of getting him to participate in your stupid plan. “But it’s not the reason why I said that I want to be your partner. If you don’t believe me, I’m sure you have some kind of potion that will force me to speak only the truth. I’m ready to drink it, if…”

You are stopped by Solomon’s sincere, happy laughter. He looks at you much more warmly than before.

“Don’t worry, I believe you. Just the fact that you worry about my feelings that much proves that you’re honest with me.” Solomon leans to you, kissing your cheek. “I’m just happy to get a confirmation that you care about me after all.”

“I do. Sorry for not making it clear earlier.” You enjoy the sight of cheerful Solomon. He was your ally from day one. He always had your back. And it means a lot to you.

“Now that we cleared the air, tell me about that important task of yours.”

And you tell him everything. Starting from your first encounter with paparazzi and finishing with you burning the skyscraper to the ground.

“So it was you…” Solomon mumbles quietly, staring at the water. He blinks, forcing a smile back on his face. “You’ve grown so fast. Maybe you’ll surpass me one day.” He looks at you, eyes shining with the same determination Diavolo has when he speaks about his dream. “Humanity is very lucky to have you, Castiel.”

“Um… thanks?” You’re not sure how you should respond. Solomon became much more serious after your story. And even his silly hat doesn’t help to smooth out the intensity. “So, will you join us today?”

“Of course. I’m all yours.”

“Careful with such words,” you smirk, trying to return to the easygoing mood you lost after you told your story. “I may interpret it the wrong way and take you straight to my tent.”

“…Maybe we should take a break.” Solomon returns your smirk, ready to abandon his fishing post.

But then something huge starts dragging him and his rod to the bottom of the river.

You toss your own rod to the ground, hugging Solomon from behind and trying to keep him on the shore. The fish on the other end is restless, pulling you both toward water no matter how much you resist. Solomon orders you to let him go, pushing you aside and using magic. His hands, then the rod, and then the fish get electrocuted with a short impulse of lightning. The victory is achieved, the beast has fallen, and you secured yourselves a grand feast for today.

You hug and kiss Solomon, congratulating him on his achievement. But then you notice a very familiar body floating on the water.

“LEVI!”

***

“Where am I?” Levi blinks slowly, looking around a blue tent. There’s not much space inside, so you have to crouch near the entrance while Simeon pours the last portion of his healing magic into the demon’s body. Solomon was banished to the forest by the angel, with a firm order to collect food without harming living creatures.

“In your tent. You got caught on Solomon’s fishing rod and got blasted by his lightning spell,” you reply, checking Levi’s condition from afar. Simeon’s healing magic has done wonders; the demon looks good as new.

“I’ll start cooking everything we’ve found so far.” Simeon rises and exits the tent. “Levi, have some rest. You’ve caught enough fish for all of us. Tiel, join me when you’re done here, I could use some assistance.” Simeon has problems taking the leader’s role in case of emergency. Even if his usual strategy is to be an amused observer.

You nod to him and take his place inside the tent, lying next to Levi. He’s still dizzy, so luckily he doesn’t realize how close you are to each other.

“I’m such a disgrace…” He curls into a ball, lying on his side and hugging his legs with his arms. “Getting caught on the fishing rod. It’s so not fair…”

“Happens to everybody.” You pat his shoulder, smiling at the skeptical gaze of his orange eyes. “The amount of stupid and embarrassing stuff I’ve done is much more disgraceful than any of the things you’ve done, I guarantee it.”

“We can’t use you as an example; you’re beyond any logical system known to both demons and humans,” Levi chuckles. Well, at least he didn’t succumb to his negative emotions this time.

“Can I hug you?” You want to comfort the poor guy; getting electroshocked can’t be pleasant.

Levi starts to shiver, but he puts on a brave face. The dancing was a much bigger trial than a simple hug. He jerks his head in a motion that you interpret as a nod. You move closer, putting your arm on top of him and pressing him closer. It’s an awkward position, since Levi is still curled into a ball.

You lie like this for a little while. Levi’s breathing gets harder and harder till he finally decides to act. He straightens, tosses his limbs all over you, and squeezes you so hard that you almost hear the crunching of your ribs. He grabs you like a drowning person would grab a lifebuoy. You grit your teeth, suppressing a pained moan. You don’t want to ruin the progress by scaring the demon off.

Now your breathing is getting harder, so you attempt to distract the demon with a chat. Maybe he’ll loosen his grip if he concentrates on the conversation.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you…” Levi squeezes you even more, nervously anticipating the question. Your lungs start to feel the lack of air, so you have to make an effort to breathe out the next part of the sentence: “About the… pacts… Khm. Why did you say that pacts can be more than just a contract? Where have you heard this info?”

“It’s a popular theory among the fans of the one and only Christopher Peugeot, the author of the TSL.” Levi relaxes just a little bit, letting you breathe again. His favorite topic distracts him enough to stop choking you. “While Mr. Peugeot is a human, many fans believe that he based his characters on demons. There are a lot of parallels that suggest that. Henry’s alliances that he makes with all the Lords seem very similar to how the pacts work, but not really. They’re all based on emotional connections and open new possibilities for both Henry and the Lords. While the Lords mostly benefit in an emotional sense, which still can’t be underestimated, Henry gets powers that protect him along the way. But it’s all very unstable, since he needs to make sure to maintain balance between all the Lords and keep them content with his actions. Otherwise, these powers won’t work. And he needs those powers! For example, in the second volume, when he gets attacked by four bandits…”

“So you insisted on making a pact with me,” you stare at the demon as firmly as possible, “because you read in the fantasy book that it can give you some ‘emotional benefits’?! Levi, it’s a fantasy, it’s all made up!”

“Look, the theory about the story being based around real events is very solid! I swear!” Levi starts getting fired up. “You don’t believe me because you’ve never read the books! But you should! Each word, each sentence contains such profound wisdom that you can’t simply treat it as an amusing story! It’s a cautionary tale and a full-on dissertation on numerous subjects, wrapped into a fantasy adventure! Mr. Peugeot wanted to educate the readers, I’m sure of it! So I took his ideas and used them in real life, because I believe in my idol! And look at us! You can sometimes breathe underwater! And we have a real alliance, like Henry and the Lord of Shadow! Mr. Peugeot was right all along!”

“Hm…” You bite your lip, thinking about this mysterious author. A human with the knowledge of the pacts. You’re yet to ask Solomon about his own experiences, but you already know that you and he are different. He has no emotional connections to Asmo, he can’t use the pact the way you do. Is Asmo his only demon? He must have other pacts, right?

This Mr. Peugeot knows something that could be of use to you, according to Levi’s words. There is no guarantee that he wrote everything he knew and made it available to the public. You still should read his books, maybe you’ll notice something Levi didn’t.

You know that it’s impossible to find this human while you’re stuck in the Devildom, especially since he uses a pen name and is very secretive about his persona. But it would be so useful to get a chance to speak to him…

“Excuse me,” Simeon peeks into the tent, intruding into your thoughts. “I hate to interrupt you, but I could really use some help.”

“Yeah, sorry, Simeon. I’m coming!” You try to get up, but Levi’s grip is as strong as ever. “Hey, Levi, can you let me go? We can cuddle later.”

“S-s-sure…” The demon slowly removes his limbs, releasing your body. He looks embarrassed but content. You can’t hold yourself back and smooch his cheek, making Levi screech and blush. “D-don’t do that! Without permission! I need to prepare first!”

“Sorry,” you smirk at him, pat his head, and leave the tent. Simeon is already sitting on a stump, carving a fish Levi caught earlier. “Okay, sorry for the wait. What do you want me to do?”

“Cut these mushrooms and grind these greens. I’ll make a soup.” The angel smiles as kindly as always, pointing you in the direction of a huge pile of ingredients.

“I fully trust you,” you say as you settle next to Simeon and start cutting mushrooms, “but are you sure that all of this is edible? The Devildom is a freaky place.”

“I was looking forward to this trip for a long time,” the angel replies softly. “I’ve read every book I could find about local flora. So I’m pretty sure that everything should be fine. Although…” He frowns, staring at the pile with uncertainty. “Beel and Luke did distract me when I was gathering ingredients. So maybe something poisonous sneaked in by mistake. Oh well. I’m sure I can heal everybody just in time before they pass away. There are a lot of dangerous plants in the area, so casualties are very possible.”

“Uh-huh…” You nod and continue to chop mushrooms with hesitation in your movements. Simeon’s pleasant laughter envelops you like a warm embrace, making you goggle at him.

“Sorry, but you’re making it too easy to tease you.” The angel is making fun of you, but you don’t mind in the slightest. You can’t help but chuckle along with him. “Nobody will get poisoned today, I promise. I’m pretty sure in everything I chose.”

“Great. Still can’t get used to you joking around like that.”

“Nobody can. Everybody expects that I only tell the truth and don’t know what jokes are, since I’m an angel. So I’m having lots of fun at everyone’s expense.” Simeon smiles at you, looking absolutely delighted. “It won’t last forever, of course. But I’ll enjoy it while I can. So please, don’t take offence at my little pranks.”

“I would never. As far as I’m concerned, you can do everything you want, and I’ll fully support it. You can literally do no wrong in my eyes.”

“It’s heartwarming to hear,” the angel loses a bit of his joy. “But you’re idolizing me a bit too much. While it’s pleasant, I don’t think I’ll be able to live up to your expectations.”

“I don’t expect anything from you, you are already amazing!”

“I truly am not…” Simeon now hides his gaze and looks at the distance. “I don’t want you to see me as some kind of idol, it will only lead to disappointment.”

“You’re not an idol to me, Simeon. You’re my friend.” You move closer to him, putting your hand on his shoulder. The man blesses you with his warm laugh once again.

“Friend, huh… I love the sound of that.” Simeon turns to you; his comforting gaze pierces your soul. “If you consider me a friend, can I ask you to be honest with me and answer my question?”

“Sure!” You agree before you manage to think this through. Simeon’s eyes are simply mesmerizing, you wouldn’t be able to refuse him even if you wanted to.

“Where are you going tonight?”

Oh, shit. Did he somehow learn about your plans? Simeon notices your nervousness and takes your hand in his.

“It’s okay, you can trust me. While I was gathering ingredients, I overheard Asmo and Satan planning how to distract me, Luke, and Beel. I assume everybody else is on this plan, including you, correct?”

You don’t know what you can say to the angel. You remember Mephisto’s concerns about “angel spies”. Who knows what will happen if Simeon learns about the plan to assassinate one of the Lords. He is your friend, but he’s also an envoy of the Celestial Realm. He has to report everything that is going on to his boss Michael, right? The very person Beel is afraid of. As much as you wish to spill everything to Simeon, you have to remember that at the end of the day, he is an angel.

“There is something we’re planning to do…” You try to gather your thoughts. You could use his cooperation in distracting Luke and Beel. “I wish I could tell you, I really do. But the fewer people know about it, the better.”

“Fewer people? There are at least five people that know about this, would I really make a difference?” Simeon’s eyes become slightly colder.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh and pinch your nose, not sure how to avoid offending Simeon. It’s the last thing you want, after all.

“Remember what I said to you when we were dancing together?” The angel is still insistent. “You need to learn how to open up.” Simeon frowns as he watches you shake your head.

“Simeon, I adore you with all my heart,” you squeeze his hand in yours. “But please. Fuck off.”

The corner of Simeon’s lip twitches, as if he’s not sure whether he should laugh or frown.

“You are right,” he decides to smile, but it’s not his usual bright smile. “I shouldn’t push you like this if you are not ready. I ask you to share your secrets, but I don’t give you anything in return.” Simeon puts your hands on his waist and envelops your neck with his arms. Your brain stops working. “I’ll help you with Beel and Luke. All three of us will find something to do while the rest of you proceed with that plan of yours. But once it’s all over, please, tell me all about it. And I’ll share my secret in return. I think you’ll be interested to hear it.”

“I…” You hear only half of everything Simeon is saying. Your melting brain can only focus on the pleasant heat under your palms and the tenderness of Simeon’s arms. If you move your fingers any lower, you’ll be able to touch the angel’s bare hips. Unlike Solomon, he didn’t change his usual attire. You shut your eyes in an attempt to withstand Simeon’s charms. This man knows all too well what he is doing to you. “You can’t play dirty like this. It’s unfair.” You look into his calm eyes. You can only see softness in them, not a shadow of deception. But can you really trust everything you see?

“I want to be closer to you.” Simeon’s lips are mere inches away from your face. “I want you to trust me. But if I patiently wait for you to open up, I don’t know when it’ll happen. Unlike other immortals, I know the true value of time. And I don’t want to waste it.” His hand plays with your hair, sending soothing sensations all over your body. “Please, give me a chance to prove my devotion to you. I told you earlier: my gratitude doesn’t stop at a pie and a couple of healed wounds. Let me be someone you can lean on.”

“…Fine. I’ll tell you everything after this whole thing is over.”

“Thank you. Be careful out there.” Simeon slides back, leaving your personal space. You feel cold without his embrace.

“Castiel, hey!” Satan casually approaches you two, carrying a stack of firewood in his arms. “Can I borrow you for a minute? Want to show you something.”

“You can go,” Simeon says before you can ask him for permission. “We’re almost done here anyway.” He looks and sounds like his usual self, but you can’t be certain what is going on inside his brain.

You follow Satan to the woods in silence, waiting till you both are far away from the camp. You don’t need anybody else to overhear your conversation.

“Simeon heard you and Asmo,” you say, making the demon stop in his tracks.

“That’s a problem…” He puts a hand on his chin, thinking about possible solutions.

“Not really. He offered his help with Luke and Beel.”

“Seriously? Just like that?” Satan stares at you in surprise. “You didn’t tell him anything, right?”

“I didn’t. He’s just kind and wants to help, that’s all.”

You have to lie. You can’t possibly say that you promised to tell Simeon everything. Adding Solomon to your group was already a huge risk. But you can’t add an angel to the picture as well. No matter how friendly they act around Simeon, he is still not even welcomed in their house. It saddens you a bit, but right now it’s not the time to worry about such things.

You’re not even sure yourself if you can trust Simeon. Maybe he means well, but what will he do with the information you’ll give to him? You still know so little about him. Even demon brothers feel like less of enigmas at this point, and you didn’t spend that much time with them.

Simeon, Solomon, Diavolo, Barbatos… You don’t know anything about these guys if you compare them to the demon brothers, yet you need to somehow build alliances with them, using very limited data. You can’t make pacts with them; you will never have any protection or plan B when it comes to dealing with them. You need to choose carefully based on your intuition alone.

Who can you trust?

“Castiel?” Satan captures your attention once again, snapping his fingers in front of your face. “You’re spacing out. You didn’t get enough sleep today, but we can’t afford you losing your concentration. Not today. Maybe return to your tent and get some sleep?”

“No, I’m fine. What do you think about Simeon helping us?”

“I don’t like it, but it’s the least violent way to get rid of the three nuisances.” Satan observes you, looking for any trace of sleepiness. “Which sounds awfully boring, but we need to attract as little attention as possible to our absence. Beel is not very talkative, but Luke can be a problem. If Simeon knows how to distract them, I’ll take all the help I can get.”

“So only one problem left,” you put your hands on your hips, trying to think. “Transportation. Only Asmo has wings, so we can’t just fly to our destination. We can take the car with us, but we are pretty far from the city. And whoever drives tomorrow will notice that the fuel is gone. So we need to fill up the car on our way back…”

“I thought about it already. And I think I found a solution.” Satan leads you further into the woods, bending a branch of an especially huge tree so you could pass through.

It’s the other end of the pine forest. A very familiar-looking end. It’s the same place where Cerbie likes to go for a walk. You look in the direction of the river: you almost expect to see Lucifer there. But he must be at work at this hour.

Solomon and Asmo are crouching on the ground, looking at something among the grass. They wave when they notice you, but don’t get distracted for long and return to their work.

“We are decrypting the runes of the portal that was once here,” Satan explains, settling on the ground next to them.

“It looks like it leads to the city, but it’s hard to say where we will appear,” Asmo joins the conversation without moving his gaze away from the runes.

“I felt the magic of the portal when I was collecting berries,” Solomon says, channeling magic into the ground. “If we activate it before the night comes, this will be our way to the city.”

“This portal leads to our basement,” you announce, making the guys look at you in shock. “Lucifer uses it to take Cerberus for a walk. He does it in the dead of night, according to his words, so we should either use it in the evening or in the morning. We can’t afford to meet him during our mission.”

“Huh, well, it’ll be easier to decrypt the runes now that we know where the other end of the portal is,” Satan smirks, content that the secret of the portal is revealed.

“Tiel!” Asmo runs toward you and hugs you tightly. “You just said ‘our basement’! I’m glad that you’re that used to our house already!”

“Let’s get back to work, we don’t have much time,” Solomon sighs after giving you a smile of gratitude. “Despite the risk of meeting Lucifer and Cerberus, it’s still our best way to the city. Nobody will be able to track us down. Cars don’t provide such security, as I’m sure Asmo and Castiel already know.”

You have to agree with Solomon on this one. Despite the fact that you destroyed the car in lava, the Lord’s killers found you easily. You’ll have to take the risk.

“I think we should start in the morning. Everybody will be asleep, it will be easier to move around,” you suggest.

“Agreed,” the response is unanimous. Asmo squints his eyes, looking determinedly at the runes:

“We’ll destroy this threat once and for all.”

Chapter Text

You know we got a mystery to solve
So, Scooby Doo, be ready for your act
Don't hold back
And, Scooby Doo, if you come through
You're gonna have yourself a Scooby Snack
That's a fact

Scooby Dooby Doo, here are you
You're ready and you're willing
If we can count on you, Scooby Doo
I know we'll catch that villain

Best Coast – Scooby Doo Theme Song

The rest of the day stretches into impossibly long hours of waiting. You honestly do your best to humor Simeon and enjoy all the fun activities he prepared specifically for this trip, but your mind wanders elsewhere.

You have a treasure hunt, which Satan wins thanks to his knowledge of local flora and fauna, but he tries to hide how happy it makes him feel. His prize is a detective book that is based on real events – strange murders that happened in this very area. You can’t help but raise a brow at that: no matter how unusual of an angel Simeon is, it’s still quite a morbid book for him to choose. Satan is delighted, though, so it’s all that matters.

After you feast on the delicious soup Simeon prepared, you try to roast marshmallows, but Beel quickly turns it into a game of tag. Everyone is running away from him, trying to eat the treat as fast as possible as they run. Not many of you succeed, Beel is fast when he needs to be. You sure don’t get to eat your share, but it’s pleasant to be caught in the demon’s tight embrace. Beel is distracted by your warmth as well, granting others the chance to snatch more marshmallows and finally enjoy the meal. You take one for the team, but you don’t mind.

After that, you have a TSL quiz rematch. You recall how delighted Simeon was during the previous quiz, so you aren’t surprised that he includes it in today’s list of activities. Solomon wins this time. Apparently, even demonic regeneration can’t fully handle the potency of lightning magic, and Levi is way out of shape.

You spend a whole hour in Levi’s tent, comforting him after his defeat. The demon is whining to you non-stop, and you are trying to be supportive. But your patience runs out after a while, so you decide to use a tactic you have specifically for such situations. The best way to shut your nerd up is to undress in front of him. It worked before, so it should work now. You simply straddle him and give a little performance by exposing your upper body.

It shuts Levi up for a couple of seconds, yes. But then he lets out an agonizingly painful screech, the kind only his vocal cords are capable of. He escapes the tent, but he’s way too agitated to bother to find the exit. Levi just tears numerous holes in the walls of his shelter and stumbles outside, demolishing the tent in the process. The poor demon disappears into the woods, making Luke look for him. You get out of the wreckage, frowning at your friends’ cackling. Simeon offers you a sympathetic smile, and Beel covers you with his jacket. The piece of clothing you took off was torn apart together with the tent.

When Luke brings Levi back, you have to comfort him once again. But this time you don’t risk it and listen to his whining till he wears himself out.

To be honest, he could keep going, but you both are distracted by loud noises from the other side of the camp. Luke is suddenly attacked by a giant catfish, but Asmo is quick enough to grab his hands and save the angel from being swallowed. So now the demon battles the catfish, trying to pull Luke out and completely forgetting about his charm powers. Solomon is just standing nearby, smiling and enjoying the show. It seems the situation doesn’t strike him as something dangerous.

Simeon has to rush out of the woods, where he was enjoying some quiet time for himself, and save the day. The catfish is knocked out and tossed back into the river; Luke is hugged and calmed down; Asmo is thanked; and Solomon is taken by the hand and dragged into the woods, away from prying eyes. You can only assume what transpired there, but judging by how Solomon looked after he returned, he experienced the same trashing Mammon had when Luke accidentally saw him naked.

The rest of the day passes in a similar manner. You enjoy how lively everyone is, but you don’t get a chance to rest. Even when the night comes, they continue their shenanigans and bickering. At least it means that everyone is tired by the end of the day, including Beel and Luke. They snore calmly in their tents when it’s time for you to go.

Your group is already gathered at the edge of the woods by the time you get out of your tent. Only Simeon is sitting by the fire, staring at the flames. He turns to you with a tense smile, trying to look calmer than he really is.

“I’ll keep an eye on Luke and Beel, don’t worry. But are you sure you don’t need my help? I don’t want to leave Luke out here, but maybe we can figure something out…”

You squat next to him and take his hand into yours.

“Sorry, but I can’t drag you into this. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll return before Luke and Beel wake up. And I hope you know how grateful I am that you are keeping watch. I can relax, knowing that you have my back.”

“…Fine.” Simeon sighs heavily, tightening his grip on your hand. “Be careful. And return as soon as you can. I’ll be waiting.”

“Will do.” You smile at the angel and peck his cheek. Only Simeon could agree to participate in your plan without even knowing what the plan is. You sure need to show him how grateful you are after you return.

Usually you would say “if you return”, but the team that accompanies you makes you dangerously optimistic. No matter how grim the task is, you have an unfamiliar sense of hope and confidence that you all will succeed.

Asmo, Levi, Satan, and Solomon silently greet you with serious nods, and you all delve into the darkness of the forest.

The plan is simple, not because the task is easy, but because there are way too many unknowns to create a more detailed plan. Most of it relies on improvisation, skill, and immense luck.

First, you need to use the portal and teleport into the House of Lamentation. Then, you need to quickly reach Mephistopheles’ mansion. Only he knows who this mysterious Lord is. Besides, he already knows that it was you who was investigating Spicy News. Even if you killed the Lord without his help, he could easily guess who was behind the assassination. You need to make him keep his mouth shut, one way or another.

Luckily, most aristocrats, including Mephisto’s family, live in the same historical district where the castle is situated. Asmo was right: the aristocrats don’t like to change their ways. They had been living in the same mansions since the dawn of time, century after century. The more modern city was growing around them, but their houses stayed the same. Which is quite handy for your mission. It’s very likely that the Lord you’re looking for will be nearby, and you won’t have to worry about additional ways of transportation.

You nervously check the knife you attached to your hip. It’s more of a habit at this point; having a blade with you brings you confidence, even though you sincerely hope that you won’t need it today. Brass knuckles, a jackknife, even your spray deodorant – you take all the weapons with you, just in case. The last thing you want is to be a nuisance. You can try to rely on Beel’s pact power; you triggered it successfully a couple of times before. But you don’t have much experience with it, so it can always backfire on you.

What you will absolutely avoid is using Cerberus’ pact. The last thing you want is to set the whole Lord’s mansion ablaze. Diavolo will be on your tail within moments.

“Okay,” Levi bites his nails as he watches Solomon activate the portal. The magic swirls around and flows into the runes, making the familiar gateway appear before your eyes. You can almost sense the smell of Cerberus’ lair from this side of the portal. “Are we absolutely sure that we should do this? Any second thoughts? Objections? Suggestions? Please tell me we are not doing this…”

“Levi,” Asmo interrupts his brother with an uncharacteristically harsh tone. He’s staring right at the portal; his eyes are more serious than ever. “Nobody will call you a coward if you turn around and stay here. But I won’t let you slow us down with your grumbling. So decide now whether you’re going or staying, all of you.” Asmo turns his head toward the sorcerer. “Solomon, you don’t need to go either. You already helped with the portal, so…”

“You want me to miss all the fun?” Solomon gives him a charming smile, showing no signs of nervousness. Even Satan is a bit jumpier than usual, but the human is as calm as a cucumber. “I don’t have a habit to leave things unfinished. Don’t worry, I’m with you all the way.”

Asmo hides his frown by returning his attention to Levi. The Avatar of Envy trembles but tries to compose himself. You almost don’t hear the chattering of his teeth when he nods:

“I’m going. I’m the oldest one here, it’s my responsibility to look after my little brothers. I can’t just leave you; you’ll do something stupid without me!”

“Funny,” Satan smirks, taking a more relaxed pose. “It was my reasoning as well. This group is full of troublemakers, you need someone more level-headed. So, naturally, I’m going as well.”

“Then let’s get going,” you nod and step closer to the portal. “We don’t have much time to…”

But you are stopped by the appearance of three giant heads. Cerberus is growling happily as he squeezes through the portal, thinking that it’s time to go for a walk. Lucifer likely neglected his Owner duties today and didn’t let out the giant beast. Otherwise, your whole camp would for sure be shattered by the playful monster. But that just means that it’ll be more difficult to persuade the dog to return to his lair.

“AA…” Levi is about to scream loud enough to wake up the dead, never mind Beel and Luke. But Satan is faster than the speed of sound. He slaps Levi’s mouth shut. If Leviathan was a human, you would be worried whether Satan knocked his teeth out.

“Ugh, my power doesn’t really work against Cerberus…” Asmo frowns, standing in front of you like a shield. Solomon is already in the process of casting protective magic. It’s your turn to act.

“Cerbie!” You step forward, stretching your arms upward. Cerberus lowers one of his heads and puts it in your reach so that you can scratch his chin. “I’m sorry, pal, but we’ll have to postpone today’s playtime. Please, can you return back?”

The beast tilts one of his heads in confusion as one of his paws steps forward. He almost pushes you backward with this little motion, but you manage to stand your ground.

“Come on, Cerbie! We need to do something important. Please, go back and guard the portal till we return. I promise I’ll drag Lucifer to the basement later, and we’ll be playing the whole night, okay?”

You speak sincerely, but you’re still unsure how Lucifer will act next time you meet him. But surely Cerberus’ problems will help you find some common ground?

The monster finally turns his attention from the river and the woods toward you. You watch as the beast ponders your suggestion. Is the whole night of freedom worth the wait?

“I’ll tell Lucifer that you look very sad today,” you continue to bargain, “and make him prepare an especially luxurious piece of meat.” Cerberus still seems uncertain. “I’ll sing to you till I lose my voice.” Yet he still hesitates. He wants to play in the wild too badly. “Okay, last offer: I’ll make Lucifer sing for you.”

All three pairs of eyes snap to you; such an intriguing offer finally captures his attention. Somebody snorts in the background, likely Satan, but you ignore the sound.

“That’s right, we’ll both sing. Maybe even as a duet. If you’ll be a good boy and guard the portal. Please, Cerbie.”

Finally, the beast moves backward and disappears in the portal, clearly accepting your offer.

“That’s… quite a promise.” Solomon sounds amused, unlike Asmo and Levi, who can finally continue breathing. The poor demons were frozen this whole time.

Solomon is right; basically everything you just promised the dog relies on Lucifer’s goodwill. Meaning that it may be impossible for you to keep your word. You don’t even want to think about what will happen if you disappoint Cerberus. You start to fear him and Lucifer more than the whole assassination plan.

“Let’s go.” You shake your head and step into the portal. You will worry about unnecessary things some other time. Now you need to focus on the mission at hand.

You appear in the familiar corner of the giant basement. Cerberus is lying on his bed, vigilantly guarding the portal just as you asked. You can’t help but approach him and scratch his other head.

“Thanks, buddy. I’ll be back soon.”

The rest of your group stumbles through the portal, looking around warily.

“I never was in this part of the house before…” Levi whispers nervously. It feels like some kind of monster, or even worse – Lucifer can pop out any second from the dark corners of this vast dungeon.

All five of you sneak through the basement, then up the stairs, then through the first floor of the House. You almost want to offer to use the windows instead of the front doors. Who knows what kind of alarm Lucifer could install to keep his troublesome brothers in check? But you shake your head again: no need to be so paranoid. Lucifer is a bit overprotective, true, but not to this degree, surely…

“…Guys, let’s use the windows to exit the house,” you whisper after all. You can’t risk it, not today. “The one in the library should be fine. I climbed it before and it didn’t trigger anything.”

“Oh yeah, I remember,” Satan smirks and whispers back. “Castiel is right, I doubt Lucifer put any security measures on this window.”

The walk through the library and climbing the window go smoothly. You look back at the house while Asmo helps Levi to climb down. Somewhere inside sleeps Lucifer. And Mammon. And Belphie. You feel a strange desire to go and check on them, but you shake it off. The vision of a warm bed and a cute demon among the sheets is very alluring, but you’ll indulge after everything is done.

It’s a short walk from the House of Lamentation to Mephisto’s mansion. The lordling is not exactly your neighbor, you don’t have any, thanks to the temperament of the demon brothers, but he’s relatively close.

The mansion looks luxurious, massive, and ancient. It’s much closer to the style of the castle than the House of Lamentation. If the castle would one day shrink to the size of the mansion, that’s what it would look like.

Unlike the castle grounds, there is no greenery around the mansion. Only an empty, well-groomed lawn as far as the eye can see. And a single large fountain in front of the main entrance, which makes the area a bit more hospitable. You can see something that looks like stables at the back of the mansion and a building that looks like a guest house. The area must be huge, but the man you’re looking for should be in the main building.

Solomon levitates you and himself over the fence, followed by Asmo who takes his demon form and carries Levi in his arms. Satan doesn’t have any wings, but he effortlessly jumps over the obstacle. You sneak toward the mansion, spot a window someone forgot to close, get inside…

So far, so good. Nobody among you was here before, so you have to guess where the master bedrooms should be. You have to check each room one by one. After a while, you think that you finally find the right one, but you stop yourself in time. It looks way too childish for someone like Mephisto. But you have to be certain, so you sneak closer to the sleeping person in the bed.

Instead of the journalist, you find his little copy. It could be his brother or his child. The kid looks just like him, even the hairstyle is copied perfectly. You can only hope that he is less bratty than his older version.

You quickly retreat to the door, closing it behind you. Mephisto should be right next door to this kid, it would be logical. And you are right: the interior of the next room is the same as the previous one, but there are no toys or cute stuff around. A simple bedroom with no excess in design. There’s lots of documentation on the desk, a stash of sweets next to the bed, some journals scattered on the floor, an impressive portrait of Diavolo in his demon form. And a much more personal painting next to it, depicting little Diavolo and Mephisto in a friendly hug. Also, there’s a ton of Lucifer’s photos on the walls, all connected with red threads.

Well, to be fair, there are a couple of photos of other brothers as well. There are even angels and Solomon here. Even you…

You crawl closer to the wall while your guys quietly surround the bed with determined looks on their faces. If Mephisto was awake, he would be absolutely terrified. But you fix your attention on your photos.

There is one from some kind of newspaper showing you during and after the fight with four demons inside RAD. A couple of more casual ones taken between classes. Nothing too suspicious. It seems you’re doing at least something right if the biggest gossiper of RAD doesn’t really have any dirt on you.

The only strange detail is your portrait, surrounded by a huge number of other photos. Each photo is connected to your portrait with a pink thread, but you can only guess what it means. Each picture shows one of your guys.

Mammon, looking dreamily at the desk next to him, where you sit with a grim face and try to solve some alchemical problem. Levi, sharing his excitement with you as he won one of the games on his phone. He’s so happy that he doesn’t notice how he jumped on your lap and hugged you with his arms. The demon did notice it eventually, and you were assaulted by his shouts, as per usual.

There is even Lucifer, who gives you the tiniest of smiles. And Satan, with whom you feed stray cats, sitting next to the RAD courtyard. Mephisto also used the pink thread and connected these two to you, but if it means what you think it means, these photos are not exactly good evidence. Both Satan and Lucifer look calmer than usual, true, but you would argue that it doesn’t prove their… affection, of any kind.

The next set of photos is more evident. Beel, kissing you near the bench just as you’re about to go to Hell’s Kitchen. Asmo, leaning on you closely, wrapping his arms all around your body. Judging by his barely hidden nervousness, it was the next day after he learned that the mysterious Lord was after both of you. Solomon, smooching your cheek in one of RAD’s dark corners. Clearly not dark enough. Simeon, with his hand on your cheek in an attempt to comfort you. You love when he does that.

There is even a photo of Barbatos as he leads you to the common room for the officers of the student council. Before drugging you. But even Mephisto didn’t dare to connect this photo to your portrait with a pink thread.  

The funniest photo in this circle is certainly Diavolo’s. It’s a regular photo of both of you in a school setting. But the future king’s eyes shine a bit too brightly; the smile is much softer than usual; and his hand slides at the small of your back, way past the point of it being appropriate for the man of his standing. Question marks are written all around the photo, perfectly encapsulating Mephisto’s confusion. He even went as far as scribbling all over your face with his pen, almost fully covering it with ink. Now that’s a fanboy’s fury if you’ve ever seen one.

Mephisto refused to connect this photo as well, despite adding it to the circle.

Your first impulse is to take all these photos with you instead of letting them hang on Mephisto’s wall. Despite the fact that he was literally stalking you, these are some good pictures. But you don’t have a secure enough place to put them into right now. Besides, you know how it goes: you’ll inevitably drop one of them right next to the corpse of the freshly killed Lord, and it’ll lead police and Diavolo right to you.

No, you can’t risk it. You decided to be more careful, so that’s what you’re going to do. But you can’t abstain from connecting Diavolo’s photo with your portrait. And what the hell, Barbatos’ one too. You’d put Belphie’s photo here as well, just to have the full set, but maybe in the future, when you release him from his cell…

You have to shake your head again to return to reality. You’re daydreaming way too much; it seems the lack of sleep is catching up to you. But you’ve been gawking at this wall for long enough. It’s time to deal with Mephisto.

Your gang was staring at the sleeping journalist just as intensely as you stared at the wall. It’s a miracle that the demon didn’t wake up from that much attention. Nobody wants to do the first step, so they just look at him in silence. It looks like it’s up to you to take the matter into your hands.

“Satan, use that Silence spell of yours,” you whisper to the demon. He does as you ask, covering the whole room with his magic.

You look at Mephisto. You can’t let him get up; in addition to the unknown magic he can use, he also has super strength. Fighting a demon is one thing, but having to subdue them is another thing entirely. You’re almost sure that Solomon has a couple of useful spells in his repertoire, but he doesn’t offer his help, preferring to enjoy the show. Asshole. Asmo isn’t very useful at the moment, since he needs eye contact to use his powers. Before the charms kick in, Mephisto can manage to injure someone. Levi is not even an option, and neither is Satan while he’s concentrating on the Silence spell.

So you take out your knife, jump on top of Mephisto, pin his left arm under your knee, and hold down the other arm with your free hand. Your other leg stretches along Mephisto’s body, putting some pressure on his abdomen and hips. Your foot is positioned perfectly for it to kick his balls, which you do as he wakes up from your weight. The pain in Mephisto’s testicles is enough to nullify chances of him using his lower half to try and kick you off him, at least for several seconds. Several very important seconds, which you use to put a knife to his neck and say:

“Don’t move and don’t scream. Otherwise, I’ll cut you, and then that little kid in the next room.”

Mephisto freezes; even the pain in his balls fades away.

“You won’t dare…” he wheezes, trembling as the blade presses closer to his neck.

“You’ll soon realize that I ‘dare’ to do a lot of things. Killing is a favorite pastime of mine.” Maybe it sounded a bit too supervillain-ish, but it doesn’t matter. Your goal is to terrify him, so you have to sound as evil as possible. Mephisto doesn’t reply, staring at you with fear. “Now, tell me the name of that Lord that funds Spicy News. I’d rather not use Asmo to interrogate you.” You remember how painful it was for a demon to control someone for a long time. And he may need to do it again. The less he strains himself, the better.

“Asmo?... He’s also here?” Mephisto carefully looks around, still pressed to the pillow by your blade. “I can’t believe it, you’re all here! Do you even realize what you…”

“Shut up!” you hiss at him, pushing the knife closer to his chin. You can’t allow him to start screaming and throwing tantrums. Not because someone can hear him – they can’t – but because Mephisto needs to think that you have full control over the situation, and he has none. “Look only at me. You’re only allowed to answer my questions. Or our conversation will end very abruptly, and I’ll have to speak with your…” Who was that kid? You can’t imagine anyone fucking Mephisto, so he must be “…brother.”

“…Fine. Just don’t hurt him.” Mephisto almost chokes on his breath, clearly on the verge of tears. You feel bad. No matter what your intentions are, you’re the bad guy here.

“The name. Tell me.”

“It’s Lady Francesca.”

The answer seems to cause an expressive reaction among your companions, but you don’t avert your gaze from Mephisto, holding him tightly.

“I can’t believe it!” You hear Asmo’s voice behind you. “She’s possibly the most dedicated to Diavolo’s cause, apart from Mephisto. Why?...”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Mephisto sighs, trying to compose himself. “But all the signs point at her. I hoped that it was just some mistake, that Spicy News was trying to sabotage her by planting false data in their own documents. But further investigation made it clear – it’s her.”

“So you agree that the whole Spicy News thing is dangerous, despite the crap you tried to feed me last time?” You smirk, enjoying that Mephisto finally admits that you were right all along.

“Regardless of what I think, we don’t know for sure what is going on. What are you going to do?”

“Kill her.”

“What?!” Mephisto almost jerks forward from shock but stops himself as he feels the blade cutting his neck. A little stream of blood runs down his skin and drops on the pillow.

“Don’t forget to wash your pillow later,” you say casually. “Can’t let anyone see that you were bleeding.”

“Mephisto,” Asmo joins the conversation again. “She sent killers after me and Tiel. It’s serious. We can’t let her live.”

“Then solve it all with law! Go to Lord Diavolo!”

“You know we can’t.” Satan approaches the bed. “We can’t make it too public and show that there’s any kind of tension between the Future King, the Rulers, and the House of Lords. We’ll solve it all quietly. Tonight. And you will help us.”

“What?!” Mephisto shouts for the second time, but this time he manages to control his body.

“You’ll be an accomplice. So you can’t tell on us,” you explain coldly. “Otherwise, everything you and your parents built will disappear forever. Your family will only be known as people who killed one of their own.”

“Don’t drag them into this, you…”

“Oh, I will, if you won’t keep your mouth shut…”

“Melphi!”

A sudden call from behind the door interrupts your discussion, making all of you freeze. Judging by the voice, the brother must’ve woken up. He didn’t hear you, but he can come into the room any second now.

“Send him away. Don’t try to ask for help,” you command, reducing the pressure on the demon’s neck. You give a sign to Satan and he temporarily removes his spell.

“Khm! Oli, don’t come in! I’m in the middle of a very important investigation! You know how I hate being distracted!” Mephisto sounds pretty normal. He’s a good actor when the life of his brother is at stake.

“But I had a very bad dream!” Unfortunately, Oliver is insistent.

“Then go to Father! I’m onto something big! I can’t stop my research right now!” Mephisto tries not to sound too desperate. The fact that Solomon quietly moves closer to the door doesn’t help the demon’s composure. You’re sure that the sorcerer just wants to hold the door if Oliver decides to ignore his brother, but Solomon still looks quite threatening. “I’ll read to you later, deal? Let Father read you tonight, please…”

“Ugh, fine. You’re always so busy! But you’ll go to the park with me tomorrow, right?”

“Of course!” Mephistopheles sounds cheerful, despite the tears of relief running down his face. “I’ll buy you all the ice cream we’ll find there!”

“You’ll eat half of it anyway,” the little brother chuckles, finally leaving. Satan casts the Silence spell once again, sneakily sighing with relief, just like everybody else in the room. Levi tries to hide his trembling hands behind his back, but he doesn’t look any more self-assured.

“Now let’s get back to business.” You can’t waste any more time. The morning is still in its early phase, but the clock is ticking. You need to return to the camp as soon as possible. “Who knows where this Lady lives?”

“I don’t know the exact location, only the surrounding area. But I bet Mephisto visited her more than once,” Satan states calmly.

“…You won’t leave me alone, will you?” the journalist sighs heavily, still not quite managing to stop his tears.

“We won’t. Will you help us willingly, or Asmo has to waste his power on you?”

“…I’ll show you the way.”

***

Lady Francesca’s mansion is much more exotic than the other rich houses you saw before. Peacocks freely walk around the area; monkeys climb the trees; you hear the distant roaring of something that sounds like a tiger in the background. The Lady has a personal zoo somewhere on her land, according to Mephisto. Though he still looks around nervously, clearly fearing that this unknown animal you heard is walking around just as freely as the rest of the animals.

Solomon checks the perimeter before you enter, but he senses nothing, aside from the spell that doesn’t let animals escape Lady’s grounds. Levi conjures water and pours it into the lock of the back door. He freezes it inside, breaking its mechanism and opening the entrance for you. You quietly ask Satan whether such magic can leave any traces for police to find, but he assures you that you have nothing to worry about.

You suspected that Levi had some kind of water powers but didn’t expect that he could also freeze things. So you praise him wholeheartedly, making the demon blush. You prefer to see him this way, instead of trembling in the corner while you threaten to kill a child.

Levi saw you in a whole new light today. Others didn’t have any illusions in your regard in the first place, but for Levi it’s all a big deal. You close your eyes and concentrate on his pact. You still feel the familiar warmth, but who knows what your nerd thinks of you now?

For what feels like the hundredth time, you shake your head and force your mind to concentrate. You finally enter the building, trying to suppress sudden uncertainty.

You almost feel bad for this animal-loving Lady, but as you enter the hall, you realize that you slightly misjudged her.

There are hunting trophies all around you: heads and full carcasses of dead animals, taxidermied for everyone to see; their fur under your feet; and different crossbows, guns, and rifles on the walls. This Lady is a woman with passion, clearly.

Only Mephisto doesn’t seem surprised by the decorations.

“I didn’t like to come here when I was little. Too creepy. But our families are close colleagues, so…”

“Since you know this place so well,” you don’t listen any further, looking around in search of any potential threats. This woman can jump at you with a gun without any problems, it seems. It’s a good thing that demons don’t concern themselves with security; you’ve been freely walking around other people’s houses thanks to their sloppiness. Or maybe it’s a bad thing. The Devildom would be a much safer place if demons were a bit less powerful and more troubled with their safety. “…you must know where her bedroom is, right?”

“I just promised to show her house, I don’t think…”

“Asmo, use your powers.” You don’t have to ask twice, as Asmo was just waiting for the right moment to strike. Just a second of struggle, and Mephisto is calm and ready to help. You intended to charm him anyway; you couldn’t let him ruin everything right at the finish line. Now you have one less problem to worry about.

Mephistopheles leads you to the right door, as obedient as a puppet.

Well, it is time.

You don’t even look back, knowing too well that your guys have got you covered. You sneak into yet another bedroom. There is clearly a woman lying on the bed. Luckily, she is alone.

Satan casually casts his Silence spell, and you and Asmo slowly approach the woman. You have too many questions for her to just kill her in her sleep. You must interrogate her first.

But as you come closer, a spell flies right past you, right at the sleeping woman. The lightning spell, a much more powerful version of the one Solomon used on Levi, pierces the Lady, making her twitch from pain. You can only look at Solomon in confusion, your eyes expressing only one question: “What the fuck?”

“We came to kill her, right?” Solomon smiles nonchalantly, but then frowns as Lady Francesca slowly crawls out of her bed. She seems to be stronger than Solomon expected. You hurry toward her, shielding her with your body from any potential attacks from your crew. Everybody is nervous, so it’s only a matter of time before either Solomon or someone else tries to attack her again.

You grab her by the neck and forcefully turn her face toward Asmo. You can’t afford to be gentle right now. Asmo charms her immediately, asking the first question:

“What is the goal of creating Spicy News?” The Avatar of Lust winces from pain as he talks, clearly struggling more than usual. He notices your worried look. “It feels like she has a barrier that protects her mind. Maybe some kind of artifact… But we don’t have time to look for it…”

Lady Francesca finally replies: “T-to destabilize…”

“Destabilize the Devildom? But why?” Levi can’t keep quiet, staring at the woman with a mix of pity and anger.

“I-can’t… Forbidden…” She tries to speak, but Asmo’s charms are not enough to get the needed information. If she is under some oath or a curse that doesn’t allow her to speak, it’s a huge obstacle. Asmo understands it as well.

“Solomon, give me your magic. I’m getting everything I can out of her empty skull.” The Avatar of Lust releases Mephisto, making him drop to the floor and regain free will. He wants to concentrate all his power to break through whatever protects Lady Francesca’s brain.

Solomon simply nods, closes his eyes, and channels his magic into Asmo, making him stronger. The Avatar of Lust grabs the woman instead of you and stares into her eyes.

“What is your goal? Who are you working with?” Asmo tries to suppress the pain in his head as he uses every bit of his and Solomon’s magic to make Lady Francesca talk.

“I-I-I… Can’t…”

Asmo suddenly screams from the burning pain in his head; his nose and eyes start bleeding.

“Solomon…” he wheezes, unable to tear his gaze away from the woman’s empty eyes. “Too much magic… Stop…”

You try to break the connection between Asmo and Lady Francesca, but the demon seems to be trapped in his spell just as much as the woman that is getting charmed. No amount of physical force can separate them from each other, making you crazy with worry. Solomon continues to stand silently, with his eyes closed. The powerful stream of magic continues to flow from him to Asmo.

Levi and Satan try to punch Solomon and make him snap out of it, but he is protected by a shield that nullifies their attacks. Magic also doesn’t work, no matter how hard they try. Even Mephisto, still crouching on the floor, moves closer and tries to cast a few spells in Solomon’s direction.

Lady Francesca, Asmo, Solomon, all three seem to be stuck inside their own magic, until…

The woman starts to shake violently, dripping white foam out of her mouth. Asmo still holds her, but her body seems to break from the inside, shutting down within seconds. The whites of her eyes fill with blood; some slimy substance starts oozing out of all the orifices on her head. You soon realize that this is her brain leaking out. After the last strong shake, her eyes roll back, and she freezes forever.

Asmo almost drops on the floor with her, but you catch him, pressing him closely to your chest. His whole face is covered in blood, and the sight makes your heart ache. Satan quickly approaches you two and examines Asmo, trying to hide the shakiness of his movements.

“I don’t see anything irreversible, nothing his natural regeneration can’t take care of,” he assures you, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Satan checks Lady Francesca just in case, but she is clearly dead. Not even a demon can heal this amount of damage.

Solomon finally unfreezes, breathing heavily.

“Is everybody alright?” he asks quietly. The sorcerer is much too exhausted to keep his usual pleasant smile on his face.

“No thanks to you!” Levi hisses at him, pointing at Asmo. “You almost killed him! What happened?”

“I channeled as much magic as I could, just as Asmo asked,” Solomon frowns and sits right on the floor, unable to stand. “But it’s hard to pay attention to the outside world when I’m in this state. Did we get the information we need?”

“No! And why we couldn’t even touch you? What was that barrier?” Levi continues to hiss, way too scared for his brother’s life to calm down.

“I activate this shield unconsciously every time I cast a spell that requires me to concentrate. I can’t leave myself unprotected when I do that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it difficult for you to stop me, but it’s more than a habit at this point. It’s what I always do.” Solomon’s voice doesn’t sound as clear and proper as usual. He mumbles and stumbles over his words, as if he’s about to fall asleep.

“Hey, you can’t lose consciousness as well! We won’t drag you all the way back…” Levi loses his energy by the end of the last sentence; exhaustion catches up to him as well. The only demon who remains more or less fine is Satan.

Mephisto lies on the floor, silently staring at Lady Francesca’s corpse. He can’t suppress the terror from everything that happened.

“What have you done?...” he whispers and closes his eyes, trying to hide from the awful scene.

“What have we done, Mephisto,” you say, gently holding Asmo in your arms. You can’t afford to show weakness and leave Satan alone with all the barely moving guys in the room. You still need to leave this place. “And as far as you’re concerned, nothing happened. Do you understand?”

Mephisto can only nod, pressing his face to the floor and shaking from all the tears that choke him.

You look through the window of Lady Francesca’s bedroom. The sky is bright and the moon shines softly through the clouds, slowly awakening the denizens of the Devildom.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

You heart finally stops racing like crazy, returning to its usual steady rhythm. As if something is gently caressing it, bringing you strange comfort and relief.

A new day has come.

Chapter Text

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark
Finally, I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare
See how I'll leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do
There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark

Adele – Rolling in the Deep

The way back barely registers in your head; exhaustion and emotional drain blur your vision, so you focus on what’s important: the unconscious demon in your arms. You carry Asmo with care, trying to use your last strength to walk as carefully as possible and avoid shaking his bloodied body.

Satan, as the only other man who is left standing, has to carry both Mephisto and Solomon on his back. Levi can barely move his legs as well; it seems all the spells he threw at Solomon drained him more than he expected. So Satan has to drag him by the hand while balancing two bodies with relative ease.

Usually, you would at least smirk at Satan’s misfortune, maybe tease him a bit. But you’re not in the mood for snarky remarks. Instead, you feel grateful that you don’t have to deal with the aftermath of your mission all alone.

It gets easier once you drop Mephisto at his mansion. You both watch him barely make it to the window of his bedroom, but it seems that he’ll be fine. At least physically. You wish there was some other way to secure his silence instead of purposely traumatizing him with murder, but at least you can be sure that he’ll keep your secret.

You turn around as you hear a thud behind your back – Levi finally gave up and collapsed to the ground. Satan doesn’t comment on it. He just sighs heavily and lifts his brother on his back. Solomon doesn’t show any signs of waking up as he gets crammed with yet another demon.

You make it to the House of Lamentation, but your group is in such a state that you can’t even use the windows to avoid detection. So you have to risk it and simply sneak through the front door. Lucifer doesn’t show up, so you’re just grateful that you manage to catch a break and descend to the basement in peace. Cerberus is still awake, diligently guarding the portal as you asked of him. You can only nod with a smile, silently promising that you’ll repay his loyalty with kindness.

You have to make a short stop as you teleport back to the woods. Satan manages to close the portal, though Solomon’s help would make the process easier. As you wait for the demon to finish his machinations with the runes, you watch the sky with a sense of worry. At this point, you’re knowledgeable enough to recognize that it’s still early morning, but Beel has a habit of waking up early and going for a jog. Unless he allowed himself to relax during this trip, he could be awake already.

Luckily, once you reach your camp, the only person who greets you is Simeon. It’s clear that he didn’t sleep while you were away, which slightly cheers you up: he really cares about you.

The joy of your meeting doesn’t last long though, as Simeon instantly notices your unconscious companions. You and Satan lower them to the ground so that the angel could use his healing magic. Simeon bites his lip, visibly attempting to suppress his urge to either scold you or bewail aloud. He gets paler the longer he inspects the bodies in front of him. Then the expression of sorrow finally leaves his face, replaced by determination. You watch in awe as he almost breathes in new life into your friends, taking their pain away.

“They will wake up soon,” he says as he finishes healing them. It’s the first time anyone has said anything ever since you left Lady Francesca’s mansion. The sound of his voice makes you wince: you got too used to the silence between you and Satan on your way back. “Satan, are you okay?”

The demon just nods in response, sitting down on a stump and barely masking his exhaustion.

The answer seems to satisfy the angel, so he approaches you, takes your hands in his, and starts channeling his magic into you, seeking any pain.

“You could just ask like you did with Satan,” you frown but accept Simeon’s care. Even though you’re not injured and actually feel suspiciously well even before he starts using his powers. You carried a grown man in your arms for quite a long time, yet you’re even less exhausted than you were in Lady Francesca’s mansion. These strange quirks of your own body make you nervous, but you have no time to think about it now.

“And you would tell me the truth if I did that?” Simeon gives you a cheeky smile. His fingers gently run along your arms before he lets you go, finally satisfied with your state.

You can only smile back at his teasing. He has a point after all. But your conversation is cut short as Levi, Solomon, and Asmo start to wake up at the same time.

Simeon did a great job. Despite the fact that Asmo is still covered in his own blood, and Levi and Solomon look generally rough, they all seem much healthier than mere minutes ago.

Solomon and Levi quickly understand where they are, but Asmo struggles to grasp reality for several seconds. The last thing he saw was Lady Francesca’s still face. It can’t be easy to snap out of it. Asmo looks around, trying to understand how he managed to appear in your safe camp after all the horrors that happened.

Nobody speaks up, either being wary of Simeon’s presence or preferring to think things through in their own heads. The silence breaks when Asmo growls in frustration and grips his hair with dangerous force.

The angel senses that your group needs to be alone, so he whispers something about checking on Luke and Beel and leaves you.

“I can’t believe that it’s still not over,” Asmo hisses in frustration. The pain in his voice makes you sit beside him on the ground and hug him. The demon immediately snatches you into a desperate hug, shutting his eyes. “After everything we’ve done, there’s still someone out there who worked with her. Who still wants to kill us. And we will never learn who it is because this jerk ruined everything!” Asmo angrily points at Solomon, but you press the demon closer to your chest, not letting him start an argument. The sorcerer just watches silently. It’s impossible to tell what kind of emotions hide behind his gray gaze.

“Asmo,” you call, putting fingers on his chin and turning his face to you. His furious eyes focus on you. “You’re unfair. He did his best to help. The last thing we need is to take out our frustration on each other.”

“Since when are you so thoughtful?” Satan joins the conversation with an irritated huff.

“He’s always thoughtful…” Levi mumbles under his breath.

But Satan ignores him. “Did Simeon brainwash you? Stop preaching like an angel, it doesn’t suit you. Asmo has every right to be furious, and Solomon deserves to be yelled at. If he kept his magic under control, we would have a chance to learn more.”

“Asmo was the one who asked Solomon to channel more magic into him…” Levi adds again, just as quietly.

“I’m ‘preaching’ because I don’t want people I care about to fight among themselves!” you growl at Satan. Asmo and Solomon look at you in a surprised silence. “Your usual bickering is one thing, but I don’t want to see you at each other’s throats!”

“Then you are just delusional,” Satan replies coldly.

“Maybe,” you nod readily. “But I can’t help it. You’re all too fucking likable. I really wish I wouldn’t care, but I guess I’m not as heartless as I thought. But if you want a fight that badly, I will gladly put aside my feelings for you and punch you in the face, Satan.”

The demon is still frowning, but you notice a quick quiver in the corner of his lips. Satan likes when you threaten him, what a weirdo.

“Tiel is right,” Asmo sighs and sinks further into your embrace. Simeon’s magic healed physical wounds, but the demon is still torn mentally. “It’s pointless anyway. We need to come up with a new plan instead. We can’t just wait for a new attack.”

“Let’s rest first,” Levi suggests, clearly not in the mood to strategize.

Solomon doesn’t join the conversation at all, solemnly staring at the ground. You know that he takes any kind of failure to heart, even if it’s losing a stupid quiz. But it’s the first time you see him that depressed.

The sorcerer senses your gaze and looks back at you. You try to make sense of the expression on his face, but it eludes you. It’s neither sadness nor anger. Solomon almost looks… conflicted?

His face doesn’t leave your mind the whole morning, not even the appearance of cheerful Beel and Luke can shake off the feeling that you’re missing something.

The morning becomes much livelier once your favorite glutton and the little angel join you, spreading positive vibes wherever they go. Luckily, these two are not the most perceptive pair, so they don’t notice anything too unusual in the behavior of others. All you need to do is smile widely, and it’s enough to trick them. Simeon, being the most considerate creature in all three realms, doesn’t force you to fulfill your promise immediately and tell him your secrets. No matter how curious and worried he is, the angel gives you space, not even hinting at his impatience.

You pack your stuff and get ready for the road. As you put the tents in the trunk, you suddenly hear a fragment of a conversation. Solomon and Asmo stand in front of a car, speaking quietly, as others finish their preparations in the distance.

“I’m sorry.” Solomon crosses his arms to hide how uncomfortable he feels. “It’s my fault that the magic backfired. I shouldn’t have put you in danger like this.”

“…I wasn’t my usual perfect self, either.” Asmo purses his lips with a frown. He already fixed his makeup and removed all the blood. It’s hard to believe that this stunning demon was unconscious just a few hours ago. “I was way too focused on learning who is behind this, and I pushed us beyond our limits.”

“We were both too focused on our goals. And it clouded our judgments. But at the end of the day, we both want to protect him. And it looks like,” Solomon offers Asmo a handshake, looking him in the eyes, “we need to become a team to do that. An actual team. But we have to put aside our differences and feelings.”

“You are being dramatic,” Asmo rolls his eyes, not yet taking Solomon’s hand in his. “I did it centuries ago. Maybe not all bad blood can be forgotten, but I’m doing the best I can.”

“You do. But now you’ll need to do even more than that.” Solomon sounds serious. You don’t have a good feeling about this, but still stay behind the car. “Take my hand. I’ll share my thoughts. And you’ll see what I’ve done and what I intend to do. I want you to be the first to know.”

Asmo loses his confidence as he looks at his Master. You want to prevent whatever will happen next, just because Solomon doesn’t look like his usual self. Something is wrong. But Asmo needs to decide what he wants to do without your intrusion.

And the demon makes his choice. He takes Solomon’s hand, and they both close their eyes, sharing something only they can see and feel. It all ends within seconds. Asmo lets go of Solomon’s hand, breathing heavily.

“So? What do you think?” Solomon asks casually, as if speaking about weather.

Instead of replying, Asmo simply slaps the sorcerer’s face. The sound echoes across the woods, scaring away a couple of birds.

“I deserve that,” Solomon winces. That must’ve been a good hit.

“You deserve much worse,” Asmo hisses, trying not to lose his temper completely. “Today. You’re doing it today and not a second later.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it already started.” The sorcerer sighs, looking at the sky. “All I need to do is to do nothing.”

“You think you can survive this ‘plan’ of yours? When it all comes to light…”

“I have a feeling that it’ll all work out.” Solomon gives Asmo a sly smile. “You know me. Ever the optimist.”

“Ever the fool, more like.” Asmo huffs, his wavy hair bounces slightly at the gust of his breath.

“So, what do you think about being the team?” The sorcerer ignores Asmo’s annoyance and continues to push his agenda.

“You have a lot of nerve asking this after everything you just showed me!”

“It’s for a good cause. And I’m sure Lord Diavolo would be pleased to learn about our newfound friendship.”

“…Survive the storm you’ve created first, then we’ll talk.”

“So you’re not against it? I must say, I’m surprised.” Solomon laughs softly. “You must hate me more than ever right now.”

“Don’t push it,” Asmo frowns.

“Sorry. It’s a habit.” The sorcerer laughs once more. “Isn’t it crazy? Could you ever imagine us, of all people, throwing our ambitions and feelings away for the sake of the other person? The things we do for love…”

“Love? Knowing you, it’s never as easy as that. You must have some hidden agenda in all this.”

“Just a little bit. But it seems I won’t have it my way anyway. A pity. But there are other ways to get what I want.”

“Stop with your schemes for at least a second.” Asmo shakes his head in disappointment. “I’ll go help Simeon. He seems to have a hard time preventing Beel from eating all our road snacks.”

“Sure!” Solomon answers cheerfully. Despite the hard conversation, the sorcerer seems much more relaxed than he was before. “Castiel, finished packing up?” He turns in your direction the second Asmo leaves. It seems your hiding spot wasn’t too great. Not that you attempted to hide in the first place.

“Yeah,” you reply nonchalantly and approach the man. You squint your eyes in suspicion. “What was that all about? You did a good job speaking in the most obnoxious and roundabout ways, but you didn’t expect me to not ask you directly, did you?”

“Sorry,” Solomon smiles at you with his usual charm. Yeah, he is definitely much more confident than he was in the morning. “But I can’t tell you everything just yet. I feel like I have a better chance of survival if you remain unaware at least a bit longer.”

“Are you in danger? What is going on?” You grab his shoulders, battling the urge to shake him till he spills out the truth.

“Some people will want to kill me very soon. And I need you to stop them with your impeccable communication skills.”

“Solomon, what the fuck are you talking about?!” You start losing patience, your fingers dig into the sorcerer’s pale skin. The man changes his smile from charming to a much softer one.

“You’ll learn everything in a couple of hours. It will be up to you to choose whether you want to side with me or not. But considering that even Asmo, who has the most reasons to despise me, decided to almost forgive me, I’m feeling good about my chances.”

“And why would you be so sure?”

“Because I know that you care about me. You said so yourself.” Solomon slowly wiggles his way out of your grip and kisses your cheek. “And I’m sure that after all is said and done, you’ll realize how much I care about you as well.”

“…Fine.” You’re still frowning, but you have to admit that Solomon’s kisses always make you melt a bit. You’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. “I always knew that you were shady, so I knew what I was getting into from the start.”

“I appreciate your understanding and acceptance,” the sorcerer chuckles, kisses you again, and turns around to join others.

“Hey,” you stop him for a second. “How did Asmo manage to hit you? I thought the pact was supposed to protect the Master from direct damage.”

“I’m capable enough to lift a couple of restrictions as I see fit. I removed pact protection at will. Asmodeus needed to let out his anger.” Solomon replies with a smile, as if altering pact rules is something completely normal. “We should discuss pacts later, I’m sure we can teach each other something new. But it’ll have to wait. Let’s get the show on the road.”

***

You offer to take the wheel this time as well, considering how suspiciously good you are feeling today. But everybody unanimously insists that they won’t let you drive any time soon after what happened last time. Which is fair, but still hurts. You only hope that Mammon won’t hear about your failure; otherwise, you can forget your dream of ever getting behind the wheel of his Demonio 666 Lexura.

So now Beel is driving, as a person who clearly rested more than others. Luke claimed the passenger seat next to him, barely containing his excitement of riding shotgun for the first time ever. Nobody had any objections, especially Beel, since the angel promised to feed him his homemade cookies during the drive.

You can only smile at how everyone seems to become friends with Luke. The angel is too adorable, even the demons can’t keep their guard up around him for long.

Solomon takes Luke’s seat in the last row with Satan and Simeon. You get in the middle, to the shared happiness of Levi and Asmo. The drive back is a bit quieter than the previous one. Everybody is way too tired to bicker among themselves. So you get a second to reflect on your strange behavior.

In hindsight, it was inevitable that you would abandon all your plans to get revenge and start genuinely befriending both the demons and the angels alike. A part of you hates how easy it was for you to fall for all of them. Your “dark side”, the one that Satan likes so much and tries to awaken in you, is dissatisfied with your decision. Instead of rocking the boat and purposefully causing drama, you now try to make everyone get along? Satan is right, it doesn’t really suit you.

But what the hell, it’s too late to worry about this. If Diavolo sees you as someone who can bring some kind of balance, as crazy as it sounds, you’ll try your best.

“AAHHH!” Luke’s terrified scream tears you out of your thoughts, turning on fight mode. Who? Where? The mysterious associate of Lady Francesca decided to strike back already?

Something big flies above the car and lands right in front of you with a loud boom, making Beel grab the wheel tighter and hit the brakes.

It takes you a second to recognize a huge creature with two pairs of dark wings and a piercing golden gaze. You’ve seen Diavolo’s demon form in pictures and statues, but never got a chance to witness it in real life. At least not this close.

The Future Demon King approaches your car and effortlessly opens the middle door. His head with large horns squeezes into the vehicle, slowly examining people inside. His serious eyes wander between Levi, Asmo, Satan, and Solomon, making the demons sink deeper into their seats. The sorcerer does his best to appear relaxed, despite such intense attention, but you are sure that even he can’t keep his cool in a situation like this.

Finally, Diavolo’s gaze stops at you. You meet it, stubbornly refusing to look anywhere else. Several seconds of silence seem like torture; you can almost touch the tension that filled the car.

“Castiel.” You were prepared to hear a familiar harsh tone you had heard from him before. Instead, the demon smiles widely, showing his perfectly sharp fangs. Diavolo’s voice sounds friendly, but his eyes are cold as ice. You’d prefer him screaming at you. “I came to invite you to my humble abode. Right now. We have something to discuss.”

“Lord Diavolo,” Simeon answers instead of you, clearly pissed off that the prince unnecessarily terrified Luke. “What is the meaning of this? You can’t just…”

“I believe I wasn’t talking to you, Simeon.” Diavolo is not in the mood, that much is certain.

“Okay, I’m coming, calm down.” You sigh and climb out of the car, sensing worried looks on your back. You stretch your sore body as you straighten next to Diavolo. He watches you with a frown. “Let’s go. Teleportation like last time, or you’ll give me a ride in your arms?”

Your calm response causes a mixed reaction. Diavolo is angry, and he wants to stay that way, but you almost make him smile anyway. He still has a soft spot for you, despite everything.

“I suppose we can spare a few minutes to enjoy the Devildom from above.” Without waiting any longer, he lifts you effortlessly and takes off, leaving the car far behind.

The whole flight passes in silence, but you both need these moments of peace. For you to gather your thoughts and for him to calm down a bit. Diavolo makes sure that you’re feeling comfortable, protecting you from wind and cold. You have complete confidence that the demon won’t let you fall, so you allow yourself to twist in his arms in different directions, gawking at the scenery below. Diavolo’s city is beautiful from all angles, but you appreciate the chance to see it from above as well.

The castle gets closer and closer as you fly, looking a bit menacing. You prefer to stay delusional and hope that it’s just an elaborate way to invite you on a date. You don’t even want to think about other options.

Diavolo gracefully lands on the balcony, which leads to a bedroom. Did he bring you to his room? This adds to the chance that the demon just wants to spend some time with you.

He helps you to step on the ground, holding your hand as support. You hope to distract Diavolo from whatever he has in mind by touching him in turn, but he slides his hand away and turns his back on you. Bad start.

The prince leans on the balustrade, looking at the distant city. It’s already the middle of the day. The streets are bursting with demons who got out to enjoy their Sunday.

“Do you know why I brought you here?” He asks with a calm but sad undertone in his voice.

“I have a theory, but I prefer you to tell me directly.”

“This morning I had a sudden visitor. He had to breach the etiquette to come this early, but I understand, it was urgent. He brought me the news about Lady Francesca’s death even before I learned about it myself. And about your involvement in it. Mephistopheles is a difficult man, but one thing is constant about him – his loyalty.”

“Shit…” You scratch the back of your head as you hear this. After Mephisto refused to help you with Spicy News the first time, you were certain that your tactic of threatening him would work for sure. You underestimated him. His loyalty to the Devildom, and by extension to Diavolo, is absolute. It seems he actually was thinking about the greater good when he decided against helping you with your investigation.

“I hope you appreciate my restraint, Castiel. Before I decide what to do with Asmodeus, Satan, Leviathan, and Solomon, I want to hear what you have to say.”

“Knowing Mephisto, he shared every bit of info he heard from us. Which is basically all the important stuff. I have nothing to add to what you already know.” You come closer and lean on the balustrade next to Diavolo. Shit, you really need a cigarette. “Do you mind if I smoke?”

“Go ahead,” Diavolo replies, still looking at the distance. You light up a cigarette and breathe in tart-tasting smoke. You won’t quit this damn habit anytime soon, it seems. “Why didn’t you come to me for help?”

“You said it yourself: I’m incapable of accepting help.”

“I’m starting to think you’re only incapable of accepting my help.” The demon doesn’t hide the frustration in his voice. “You had no problems recruiting others to help you. Even Solomon. So why not me?”

“I thought it would be better if we dealt with it secretly. I fucked up many times during this whole thing, and I wanted to fix it without bothering you. Besides,” you puff out some smoke, feeling it tingle the back of your throat. “I asked the brothers for help only because I already made them accomplices. And Solomon would’ve been essential to the plan if Mephisto didn’t want to cooperate. If it were any other problem that wouldn’t involve politics and your position as the Future King, I would recruit you.”

“I appreciate that you think about my position, but it’s the last thing you need to be concerned about.”

“I know. I’m concerned about many things that I shouldn’t give two shits about. You have no idea how much it pisses me off.” You crush the cigarette in your hand. Diavolo makes it disappear, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “Look, I know that you are probably planning to punish everybody who helped me and finally lock me up in some tower. But it was my bright idea. I was the one who decided to mess with Spicy News in the first place. Leave them out of it. They were just trying to protect me.”

“Which is exactly what I told them to do, huh?” Diavolo smirks. Something in your words was amusing to him. “Still, you think I can let their insubordination slide?”

“I know that it sounds crazy, but I still ask you to let me take full responsibility.”

“Hm,” Diavolo turns around and rests his backside on the balustrade. “Well, it’s partially my fault that it escalated to this degree. It doesn’t matter if you ask for my help or not. I must be aware of everything that’s happening regardless.” He looks at you, clearly calmer than before. “I’ve decided. I can’t completely ignore the brothers’ actions. They will get their punishment, but not as harsh as it could’ve been, since you ask so nicely. There will be nothing they can’t endure, I assure you. When it comes to you, I’ve already tasked you with keeping peace between everybody, which is a punishment by itself. And I need you to carry on. Meaning that any kind of attempt to discipline you would be counterproductive.”

“And what about Solomon?” you ask out of curiosity. You shiver as you hear quiet growling from Diavolo’s chest. The prince is visibly annoyed to even hear his name. Such a reaction makes you put your hand on Diavolo’s arm in a comforting motion. “Hey, Majesty, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry.” Diavolo forces out a smile, leaning into the touch. “You know, we never saw eye to eye with Lady Francesca in personal matters. You could hardly call us friends. But as far as professional interests went, we were completely in sync. The future we envisioned for the Devildom was pretty similar. So it pains me that it all had to end like that. It pains a lot.” The demon takes your hand and plants a kiss on it, sharing a moment of weakness between you two. “But I’m a politician. So no matter what I personally think, I need to do what’s best for the realm. And, unfortunately, Solomon is a huge asset. Not only because he is an exchange student, but because of his ties to all three worlds. Because of his power. He worked hard to earn his place, to build a shield that would make harming him in any way very problematic.”

“So… You’ll punish your subordinates; let me roam free because I already have it rough, and, let’s be honest, you adore me too much. And you’ll let Solomon off the hook because he is untouchable thanks to his usefulness. Is that right?”

“Yes and no.” Diavolo smiles, letting go of your hand with regret. He snaps his fingers and summons one of those black, round creatures that serve in this castle. “No. 7 will take you to Barbatos’ workshop. I want you to assist him. After that… do your best to maintain balance. Just like I do. Though I hope it will be easier for you since you won’t have to completely disregard your feelings, unlike me.”

“You know,” you say with a sigh. “Today is the most confusing day of my life. Everybody just has to be cryptic and mysterious. I’m tired of it, to be honest.”

“Don’t worry, Barbatos will explain everything. I need to go now and take care of important matters.” Diavolo is ready to take off, but you grab his hand and plant a kiss in return, making him blush slightly.

“Good luck,” you say as you squeeze his hand one last time and let go. He has to clean up your mess. Again.

“Thank you. Good luck to you as well.” The demon smiles warmly and leaves you on the balcony. You watch as he flies further and further away, finally disappearing beyond the horizon. You turn toward No. 7. The creature doesn’t even look at you, standing with closed eyes instead. “Hey, did you fall asleep?” No. 7 slowly opens his eyes, staring at you with annoyance. It looks like you indeed woke him up. “Just show me where Barbatos is, and we can leave each other in peace.”

No. 7 seems to agree that the sooner he shows you where the workshop is, the better, so you are finally ready to go. You’ve visited Barbatos’ room a couple of times before, but you would never find a way on your own. You’d need to live in the castle for months to learn at least the general layout of the most important places.

Barbatos’ room meets you with a familiar chaos and lack of gravity. No. 7 disappears as soon as you open the door, not allowing you to even thank him. But it doesn’t matter, because you freeze on the spot as you see what is in the middle of the room.

It’s all too familiar. Barbatos, hard at work, and a floating body, showing no signs of life. Your heart skips a bit as you notice pale skin, fearing that it might be Solomon. But luckily, it’s not him.

It’s Lady Francesca. All the colors left her body, leaving an empty husk. At least now she looks more at peace, floating in the air without a care in the world.

“What are you doing to her?” you ask without greeting, coming closer to the steward.

“A pleasure to meet you, Castiel.” Unlike you, Barbatos decides to follow etiquette before answering your question. “Seeking information. A simple formality. I’m sure that I already know all there is to know, but sometimes some additional evidence is needed.”

“Information? About whoever she was working with? Do you know who it is?” You lean closer to the body. It’s not a pleasant sight, but at least Barbatos’ magic masks the unpleasant odor and slows down the decay.

“Yes. Look here.” Barbatos waves his hand, and the woman’s body starts glowing with dark energy. “It’s the remains of her magic. It’s usually absorbed by the Devildom shortly after a demon dies, but I managed to get to the corpse before it happened. Now look at this part in particular.” Barbatos points at her stomach. There is a little swirl of another magic, something completely different from the demonic energy. “Do you know what this is?”

You don’t answer and stretch your arm toward this strange spot. Your fingers brush against it, sensing the familiar sensation. You felt something similar before. When your clothes got teleported. When the pain in your wrist disappeared. When a ball of light was summoned right in front of your face to expel the darkness. The lightning magic had the same sense to it as well.

No, it’s just an indication of something else, surely.

“I think these are the traces of human magic,” you say. There must be tons of sorcerers who know about the Devildom and have their own grievances with demons.

“Not just magic. It’s a sign that a demon was bound by a pact,” Barbatos clarifies. You clench your fists, trying to ignore grim thoughts. “It surely explains how one of the most devoted followers of Young Master started working against the interests of the kingdom. A demon can’t resist an order from their Master. Usually, the traces of human magic would be almost impossible to find among the dark energy that emanates from a demon’s body. But death always makes everything clearer if you know where to look.”

“Do you know… with whom the pact was made?” It gets harder to breathe as you wait for the answer. Even if you know it already.

“I know. Because I have a pact with the same person.” You stare at him in shock. You could never imagine that Barbatos could be bound by the pact. Especially not by Solomon. “Though it’s definitely a different kind of pact. I don’t know how Lady Francesca got stuck in such an arrangement, but it’s clear that she can’t be held accountable for her actions. She was stripped of her free will completely.”

“You have to be joking…” Your head starts to hurt. ‘Completely’? So does that mean that the whole hunting thing and assassins were also part of Solomon’s orders? It must be a mistake. “How can I even trust your words? I can’t confirm anything you just said. Maybe you’re just using my lack of knowledge to your advantage.”

It’s so much easier to suspect Barbatos of being the enemy than to accept that Solomon was behind this all this time.

“Solomon is smart. But not smart enough to avoid mistakes. Try to remember, was there something suspicious in his behavior or words?” Barbatos keeps his distance, giving you space to breathe.

“Do you think it’s possible to make peace between a wolf and a sheep?”

The question he asked you yesterday. The same question paparazzi with shark teeth asked you before.

He agreed to help you so readily. He didn’t want to help, he just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t find anything.

The lightning he sent flying into a sleeping woman. He tried to kill her before you could get all the information you needed.

And the magic he channeled into Asmo. He wasn’t stuck. He didn’t lose control. He wanted to blast her brain with the help of Asmo’s power. Disregarding all the harm he inflicted upon your demon.

You clench your teeth as the events of this night flash before your eyes. No matter how much you want to believe that he’s innocent, everything indicates that he’s the one who was behind the whole thing. Your conversation near the car makes much more sense now.

“I’m going to kill him.” The only logical response you can come up with takes over your brain completely. After all that Asmo had to go through because of this bastard… You can’t simply shrug it off.

“Wait.” Barbatos gently grabs your shoulder, stopping you from storming out of the room. “It seems I have to play devil’s advocate. I don’t think you should kill him.”

“What?! You are protecting him? He was plotting against your Future King, trying to destabilize this world!” It’s not like you want to kill him. But if he intended to get rid of you and Asmo, you have no other choice. No matter how much it hurts, you need to protect those who protected you.

“I believe in second chances. And it seems that Solomon decided to abandon his plans and show remorse.” Barbatos speaks seriously, making you wonder whether he’s completely crazy.

“What the hell are you talking about?! How can you be so sure?”

“Because he purposely exposed himself.” The demon nods in the direction of the floating corpse. “Believe me when I tell you that he could easily destroy all the evidence if he wanted to. He left the body for me to find. And he left your whole group alive.”

“You can’t seriously insinuate that he is capable of killing several powerful demons at once?” Solomon seemed strong, yes, but not strong enough to do something like this.

“Solomon is the most powerful human in the history of mankind, with an army of demons who serve him, bound by pacts. He would have a hard time defeating Young Master or Lucifer, but even the Rulers don’t stand a chance against him if he gets serious.” Barbatos purposely avoids mentioning where he would put himself on this imaginary power scale.

You can’t believe this. A man who got wasted from one bottle of self-made beer? Who got drunk at the party and was caught with a boner after his magic malfunctioned? The one whose heart melted from a single bouquet of yellow irises? This guy is the one who could kick all your asses if he wanted to?

“The scheme he created,” Barbatos continues, “was in the making for at least a century. Catching Lady Francesca into the pact, creating Spicy News with her, and making it popular enough to be a threat to the current government. All of this took years of hard work and dedication. You’d expect Solomon to do everything he can to protect his plans. He’s not opposed to making hard decisions if it benefits him. But instead, he decided to abandon everything he worked hard to maintain. Why?”

“Because we were on his tail.” You frown. Barbatos’ words almost sound like he admires Solomon. Well, maybe you admire the effort as well. You’d admire it even more if he didn’t try to kill you.

“I regret to inform you that you weren’t anywhere near his tail.” Barbatos smiles at you politely, but you see how much he enjoys teasing you. “As I said, he had countless opportunities to get in the way. He clearly tried something, but if you think it was the best he could do, you’re utterly mistaken.”

The demon comes closer and casually fixes your clothes, smoothing them out. You already asked him to stop treating you like a child, but it seems he decided to ignore you. His fingers run along the fabric as his soft voice flows into your ears.

“I won’t stop you from whatever you decide to do next. I just thought that you should keep in mind both sides of the story when you meet him. And the fact that half of the demons you’re living with tried to kill you at some point.”

You smirk at the butler’s remark, acknowledging that he’s right.

“But it’s not about me, you know. He wanted to hurt Diavolo. He hurt Asmo. Even if he believes that it was necessary for some bigger, noble goal, I can’t allow him to hurt my friends.”

“I’m glad that you think of them as friends already.”

“Yeah. But this fucker is my friend as well. How am I supposed to find a damn balance here?” You grit your teeth. Great, the demon brothers are on the verge of war because of Belphie; Diavolo barely controls his urges to put everyone in jail; Simeon possibly spies for Michael; and Solomon tries to straight up destroy the Devildom in its current form. Presumably for the sake of humanity, which is kind of understandable, but still. “Barbatos, please, tell me that at least you don’t plan anything fucked up.”

A soft chuckle makes you almost smile back. It’s the first time you hear Barbatos straight up laugh.

“I promise to do everything in my power to be a source of support for you instead of a reason to worry.” The demon replies without actually answering your question. You cock your eyebrow, making Barbatos chuckle again. “Sorry, what I meant to say is: I promise that I don’t plan anything fucked up.”

“Wait, you know how to swear?!” You laugh, mostly from how sudden that was. This day continues to shock you more and more. There is something incredibly wrong in Barbatos using such foul language. Even if it’s funny.

“I’m glad it brings you so much joy. Cherish this moment, because it won’t happen again.” The butler smiles, enjoying your laughter. He puts his hands on your shoulders again, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles. It seems he just likes to fiddle with your clothes. You don’t mind. “If you ever need any advice, you can always come to me. Not all battles need to be fought alone. Even if they are within your mind.”

“…I’ll remember that,” you reassure the demon, struggling to imagine a situation where you would actually go to him for advice. Maybe you need to consult with Barbatos about your love life, just for laughs. “All right. I’ll go to Solomon. And I promise not to kill him right away.” You say it as if you have even the slightest chance to actually harm the sorcerer. But Barbatos only indulges you with a smile.

“Thank you. That’s all I ask.”

Barbatos manages to calm you down and bring some comfort, despite literally being in a room with a flying corpse. You smirk: Solomon was worried that Diavolo and Barbatos would want to kill him and asked for your help. But they showed much more restraint than you. Centuries of political machinations must’ve strengthened their tolerance for betrayal. You’re yet to achieve this level of emotional control. Maybe you will never achieve it.

No matter. Mindfulness was never your strong suit. You’re much better at punching things.

And you desperately need to punch one particular shady sorcerer.

Chapter Text

Look at me
Tell me what you see
Am I good or bad?
Don't you judge so fast
Hey, hey, hey

I know you think you know me
You made your own conclusion
You think that I look scary
Well, that's your own delusion
Listen when I tell you
There's more than meets the eye
So take a closer look to find a real good guy

We're not the bad guys
We're the good guys
No, no, no, no, no
Trust me!

Daniel Pemberton - Good Tonight

You stomp your way to the Purgatory Hall, trying to gather your thoughts. The previous conversation with Solomon plays in your head over and over, making you clench your fists in anticipation. Can you actually hurt him? Probably not, not without the help of the pacts anyway. If Beel’s pact lets you hit even Diavolo (only if the prince himself allows it, of course), Solomon may not be as unreachable as it seems.

Your eyes suddenly catch sight of a flower shop where you bought a bouquet of yellow irises earlier. It seems almost like a lifetime ago. That little present didn’t just lower Solomon’s guard. It affected you as well, making you witness the sorcerer’s vulnerable side. Making you trust him.

The memories of everything Solomon ever said or did rush into your mind. All those kind words, gestures, even sex – was it all a part of some elaborate plan? He is a great manipulator; you knew it from the start. But for some reason, you never expected to be one of his targets. Not for real. Yet it happened.

And somehow you have to find the strength to move past it. Because not even Diavolo can do anything about this slimy bastard. Solomon is here to stay, and you have to come to terms with it.

But only after you beat the shit out of him.

You knock on the front door a bit too aggressively, not controlling your anger. Simeon opens it for you, looking confused by your attitude. His expression confirms everything you need to know: he doesn’t know anything yet.

“Tiel? Are you alright? Lord Diavolo took you away so suddenly…” He starts uncertainly but gets interrupted.

“I’m sorry,” you smooch his cheek without looking at him and rush toward Solomon’s room. “I’ll tell you every single detail a bit later. Thank you, you’re the best!” You don’t wait for the answer, hoping that you’ll get a chance to apologize properly later.

The number of people you need to show your gratitude and/or apologize to grows every hour. Luckily, Solomon is no longer on the list.

You kick his door without any warning, making it fly open. It wasn’t locked, so other than creating some noise, you didn’t do any damage. Your fingers catch the door handle and push the door backward, making it close with a loud thud. Your eyes search around the obnoxiously uncomfortable room. The clocks of all kinds are still flying around, and the bookcases are still as intimidatingly tall as before. Even the familiar bouquet is still in its vase, not withered by time. It makes your heart quiver a bit, but you frown. It’s safe to assume that everything about Solomon is coldly calculated in advance. Even these damn irises are likely not a sign of sentimentality but simply a trick to make you believe that Solomon actually cares about you.

The sorcerer himself is sitting on the couch, clearly waiting for you. He shows no signs of worry or awkwardness, smiling as politely as always. Well, if he already knows what is going on, there is no need to waste time on words.

Your fist meets Solomon’s face as soon as you reach the couch. You push the coffee table out of your way, sending the flowers on the floor. The sorcerer winces, looking at shards and a scattered bouquet on his carpet. It seems he’s much more affected by it than by your punch, which infuriates you even more.

You strike again and again, channeling all your frustration into your fists. Solomon fixes his eyes on your face and doesn’t do anything to stop you, taking all the punches without a flinch. His paper-thin skin bruises easily. Soon, there is not a single spot on his face that wasn’t beaten by your fists. Blood; red, swollen skin; almost unnoticeable grunts of pain. As always, you have to put in a lot of work to make Solomon moan.

You stop only when your own hands start to ache. Yet no matter how mad you are, you can’t force yourself to use Beel’s pact to do the real damage. You could send the sorcerer flying across the room if you wanted. But instead, you lower your fists and settle one of your knees on the couch, towering above Solomon.

The stream of blood runs down from Solomon’s nose, dripping on his shirt, but neither of you pays any mind. After several seconds of a silent staring contest, you ask the most important question of all.

“Did you try to kill me and Asmo?”

“No,” Solomon answers immediately, shaking his head for emphasis. “I haven’t given any additional orders regarding security ever since we started the whole Spicy News thing. Everybody involved was tasked with protecting our secrets by any means necessary. They did as was instructed, regardless of who the intruders were. I was too busy with brewing potions for the high and mighty of this realm. I needed to earn their favor for my future plans.”

Solomon chuckles softly, laying his head on the back of the couch in a relaxed motion.

“Even in the wildest dreams, I couldn’t imagine that you and Asmo would breach our security. The only thing I knew was that someone stole a hard drive from the CEO’s office. Since the information on that thing could barely lead to Lady Francesca, let alone to me, I didn’t get involved personally. Until you burned the building and approached me with the offer to join your little assassination plan, that is.”

“And I’m supposed to believe you that you had nothing to do with Asmo’s stalkers? With that shark lady trying to kill me?” You growl and clench your hand on Solomon’s shoulder, trying to resist the urge to punch him again.

“You have to. Otherwise, how would Asmo forgive me after I showed him everything?” Solomon smiles with his bruised lips.

“Asmo’s judgment is not the case here. It’s me who’s judging you now.” You can’t help but frown at Solomon’s answer. He’s right, Asmo reacted rather calmly, all things considered. And, technically, there was no direct threat to his well-being. He just got scared when someone started asking around about his car.

And you, well… It was kind of your own fault for getting trapped by the shark lady. She clearly had orders to act the way she did, though, so somebody gave the order. Barbatos said that Lady Francesca couldn’t be held accountable for her actions. But maybe she just acted within the vague instructions Solomon gave her? He was very tired lately. Was it because of brewing potions for the rich and noble demons? Was this part of the story true?

“Fair. I’m exposing all my plans to you specifically for you to judge.” Solomon nods calmly, looking content to sit below you with a wounded face while you growl at him. He’s way too good at keeping up a façade. “Is there anything else you would like to ask? I’m an open book.”

“Why did you change your mind? You worked hard on your plan; why did you abandon it?”

“Because of you.”

“Bullshit.” You refuse to even entertain this thought. Yeah, sure, the sorcerer just fell in love with you and decided to throw away all the time and effort he spent on his schemes. Because of your sorry-ass. That would never happen.

“I knew that you wouldn’t believe me. But it’s true.” Solomon risks raising his hand and putting his palm on your cheek. You twitch but don’t move away, trying hard to understand this strange man. “But I guess you know me enough by now to realize that it’s not only because I’m very fond of you. Even if it’s the case. Still, you’re so much more than just a romantic interest that makes my heart beat faster and forces me to act unreasonably. I decided to abandon my plans for something, someone, more promising than Spicy News or Lady Francesca ever could’ve been. For you.”

“Look, I know that I’m amazing and perfect in every possible way,” you jest through your teeth, not even trying to sound friendly, “but if you think that I’ll believe this kind of crap…”

“It all started when you made a pact with Mammon,” Solomon smoothly slides to the side and pushes you on the couch. You try to jump back on your feet, but his firm yet gentle grip pins you in place. He casually sits sideways on your lap and leans backward, settling comfortably against the arm of the couch and your stiff body.

“I was one of the first people to learn about it, actually. One of my demons is working at the bank, and they reported that Mammon, looking even more erratic than always, sent a huge sum to Leviathan’s account. He was cursing you and your pact as he did it, so it was all crystal clear. Considering how you acted on your first day at school, I decided to help. I leaked the information about the pact, so nobody was bothering you after that, right? Well, other than those four idiots. Whatever happened to those demons that attacked you was more than deserved.”

You frown as you remember the day you and Mammon arrived at school in his car. Everybody acted like they knew about the pact already. You haven’t thought about it too much, but maybe you should’ve.

“That was the moment I actually noticed you. I can’t understate how impressive it is to make a pact with one of the Rulers, especially that quickly. No matter how gullible they act, I only managed to get Asmo after all these long centuries of trying.” Solomon gesticulates with his hands as he talks, completely lost in his memories. “Not going to lie, I was a bit envious at first, but one thing was clear: you showed great promise.”

“Are you going to recite all that happened? Because I’m already bored.” You sigh and rub your face. Solomon was keeping his eye on you a bit longer than you thought. So what?

“Sorry, I can talk a bit too much when I reminisce. Let us skip a bit ahead. What do you think happened to Luke when he was staying in your and Beelzebub’s room?”

“Wait, what?” Your body goes numb.

“You left him all alone in your room. Where do you think he disappeared?” Solomon asks calmly, hiding amused sparks in his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you have something to do with it.”

“I do. You see, I was always wondering where Lucifer was hiding the grimoire,” the sorcerer continues, paying no mind to your shocked expression. “So when I witnessed Simeon’s and Luke’s fight, I was the one to volunteer to keep an eye on Luke and make sure that he would get to the House of Lamentation safely. This was the only place he could go to, after all. I always suspected that the grimoire could be hidden beneath the House, so when you and Beelzebub left, I teleported Luke downstairs. Angels are durable, so I wasn’t too concerned about his safety. And if it would spark some kind of conflict between angels and demons, well. With the right precautions, it would be very beneficial for the Human world.”

“What are you…” you mumble, feeling cold sweat on your forehead.

“But the next best thing happened. I learned about the whereabouts of the grimoire, and you made pacts with both Cerberus and Beelzebub! I was so proud. I was proud of you every time. You know, aside from Mammon’s pact, I was partially responsible for all the others.” Solomon chuckles and ignores the angry trembling of your body beneath him. “Leviathan was emotionally vulnerable after everything that happened on the quiz. And I hoped that my open flirting with you would spark some conversation between you two. Did it work the way I intended?”

You feel the warmth of Beel’s mark.

“I had other plans for you and Asmodeus, but it seems that my Spicy News idea helped you bond all the same. No need to thank me, of course. From my observations, Satan is almost ready to make a pact with you. Now give me some time to come up with a plan for Lucifer…”

Enough is enough. You push Solomon from your lap to the ground, right on the shattered vase and flowers. The pact fills you with inhuman strength as you punch the sorcerer once again. You don’t pause until he stops moving. Until his cunning eyes close. Until a puddle of blood forms beneath his head.

“Son of a bitch…” you growl breathlessly, trying to stop your hands from trembling.

“I was on your side from the start,” Solomon whispers, barely moving his bloodied lips. He didn’t try to protect himself at all. “You are incredible, Castiel. I had a lot of apprentices over the ages. But nobody’s growth was as exciting to witness as yours. I was always craving the power to protect our world. But I didn’t realize how satisfying it would be to have someone equal. To have someone to share this burden with.”

“Shove this burden up your ass,” you grunt. Too many complicated emotions at once make your head spin. “I’m no hero. I won’t protect anybody, neither demons nor humans.”

Even though the whole quest of making pacts exists just so you could prevent everyone from hurting each other. Damn Belphie, damn Lucifer, damn Solomon, damn them all…

“No matter who you care about, one thing will never change. You’re a human. And no matter what, your growing power will be a shield for not only you and your loved ones, but the Human world as well. Your heart is in the right place, I know it.” Solomon smiles through pain. “When it became clear that I had to choose between my plans and you, I chose you. No matter how hard it was to throw away everything I was working for, I know that I made the right choice. After I killed Lady Francesca and hurt Asmo, I still had my doubts. Even after we returned to the camp, I still had a chance to send one of my demons to get rid of any possible evidence. But then I looked at you and… I knew what I had to do.”

“It’s not enough,” you growl. Solomon opens his eyes and looks at you.

“Tell me what I need to do to make you forgive me.” He says it readily, like he actually means to do anything. There is almost… devotion in his gaze. It looks strange combined with his bloodied face.

“Stop going after the grimoire. Never touch it, never even think about it.”

“Done.”

“You’ll tell Simeon and Luke everything. And never endanger them for your schemes. Asmo too. Never use the pact with him to make him do something he doesn’t want.” You try to think about everything at once. Solomon is way too sly; he’ll use any loophole in your demands. “Same goes for Barbatos. Neither he nor Asmo are your toys or tools, got it?”

“Of course.” Solomon smiles softly. He must’ve foreseen your requests from the start. “Now, can we kiss and make up?”

“Are you joking?! No!” You’re not amused by Solomon’s carelessness. If he thinks that it’s endearing, he’s mistaken.

“How will I know that you forgave me then?” The sorcerer smirks. He looks just awful. All the wounds and bruises across his face make it look like ground meat. You shake your head in disbelief. No way this man is trying to flirt with you while being this fucked up. “Please, just one kiss. I feel that I’ll be beaten by many others today. Give me just a little respite.”

You look at Solomon as you try to catch your breath. He was acting in his own interests. In the Human world interests. Just like you. It would be hypocritical to hate him for something you would’ve done in his position. You’re mad only because you and your friends got hurt in the process. But if Solomon agrees to play by the rules, if everything is out in the open from now on…

You sigh and lean toward him, planting a careful kiss. Solomon is the one to deepen it, not caring about the state of his wounded mouth. Neither of you pays attention to the taste of blood, losing yourselves in the sweet and bitter sensations.

“Tell me,” you mumble into the kiss, “was this all a game to you? The kisses, the words… Tell me the truth; I won’t get mad, I promise.” You will never admit how much you care about his response.

“It was never a game,” Solomon says quietly as he shares his breath with you. “I used a couple of opportune moments to antagonize others, but I was always serious about you. I meant every word I said.”

“…Never lie to me again,” you say as your lips meet. You bite Solomon’s lower lip slightly, as a playful threat. The sorcerer lets out a shaky laugh, eagerly pulling you closer.

“Never. You have my word.”

A loud ringing of your phone suddenly interrupts you. Both Solomon and you moan in disappointment as your hand reaches for the device.

“Castiel?” You hear Diavolo’s voice. “Are you with Solomon right now?”

“Yeah.”

“I would advise you to go home. You see, I just had a meeting with Lucifer, and, well…”

BOOM!

Something crashed through the roof right into the Purgatory Hall. You hear the loud voices of Simeon and Luke behind the closed doors as they shout at the intruder.

“…And you told him everything?” You say with dread in your voice.

“Exactly. He flew away before I could stop him! Is he already there?”

“I think so…”

Your discussion is interrupted by the blast that makes the door crumble into tiny pieces. You turn your head, ready to see furious Lucifer.

But instead, you meet Simeon’s eyes, shining with cold wrath.

“Majesty,” you whisper into the phone, still sitting on top of Solomon. “I think Lucifer told everything to Simeon.”

“I’ll teleport to you as soon as I can! Meanwhile, get out of there!” It almost seems like Simeon’s fury makes Diavolo panic even more than Lucifer’s.

You end the call and slowly get up on your feet. Both Simeon and Lucifer enter the room; their majestic wings fill half the space. You would gawk at the breathtaking sight of their black and white wings if their faces weren’t twisted with murderous intents.

“Castiel.” Lucifer speaks first, staring at Solomon with unblinking intensity. “Go home. I’ll deal with you later.”

Solomon rises from the ground, ready to face both the angel and the demon.

“Are you going to be alright?” You whisper at him, hesitating to move.

“Don’t worry, I can take them,” Solomon flashes a careless smile, which makes you frown. You’re tired of his unbothered mask.

“Simeon,” you say as you slowly move past all the fluffy wings, resisting the urge to touch them. “I’m sorry that you had to learn about everything like this. But I feel like I need to be completely honest with you.” Simeon’s head snaps in your direction as his eyes pierce your very soul. You get the angel’s undivided attention, which sends shivers down your spine. Simeon is incredibly beautiful when he’s mad. “Solomon was the one who teleported Luke to the grimoire.”

The silence that follows is deafening. For the first time in forever, Solomon shows a different emotion other than “pleasantly amused”. He almost looks genuinely betrayed and shocked that you threw him under the bus. Well, he didn’t expect you to keep this secret, right?

You escape the room the second you hear a loud roar. You’re not entirely sure who is making this sound, but you don’t want to stay and find out. It’s up to Diavolo to fix this mess now. You walk past what you can assume is Luke’s room. The door is covered with some kind of ward. It seems it’s Simeon’s way to make Luke stay in his bedroom. He’ll be fine then, you decide, and rush toward the exit.

As you make your way to the House of Lamentation, you still hear loud explosions in the distance. You wish you could watch an epic smackdown between the most powerful creatures in the Devildom, but you wouldn’t be able to survive that.

Instead, you hurry home. You need to calm down your guys after Diavolo kidnapped you from the car. But when you finally arrive, the only person you find is Beel.

“Everybody was summoned to the castle, except for me. And I don’t know where Mammon is,” Beel reports without stopping munching on today’s dinner.

You smooch him and steal a couple of sandwiches. Beel seems fine, and you can only hope that whatever is in store for the others won’t be too much for them to handle. Diavolo promised to be merciful.

Since Lucifer is currently not at home, and you don’t want to just sit around and wait for your doom, you decide to visit Belphie and share some sandwiches with him. You have a lot of news you want to share, so you sneak your way to the attic.

As you reach Belphie’s confinement, you hear a strange sound. Like someone is… crying?

You rush to the metallic door and call the demon. “Belphie? Are you alright?”

The strange sound stops as the boy appears out of the darkness of his room. He looks rough; it almost seems like he was crying non-stop for several days.

“Cas? It’s really you?” He asks carefully, slowly approaching the door.

“Who else would it be? Are you finally going crazy in this cage, or what’s happening?” You squeeze your arm between the metallic bars. Your hand finds Belphie’s shoulder and touches it to show support.

The demon shakes at the touch; the tears start pouring again.

“I thought you were dead…” Belphie closes his eyes shut, trying to stop himself from crying.

“Huh? Why would I be…” You fall silent as you realize something. The last time you and Belphie spoke, you were attacked by the shark lady. Your telepathic connection was interrupted because you lost consciousness. And you didn’t attempt to contact him all weekend.

Oh, fuck.

“I tried to use the pact, but it doesn’t work when I initiate it. And to do it how I usually do, I need you to be in the House. But you weren’t here, and I couldn’t…” Belphie tries to calm down, but after he spent almost two days thinking that his only hope to get out of his cage may be dead, he can’t keep his emotions under control.

You pull him closer and hug his body, pressing Belphie and yourself against the cold metal bars. You can’t cuddle up to the demon too well because of this obstacle, but it’s not about comfort, it’s about the sentiment. Belphie doesn’t push you away, leaning into your clumsy hug.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m a jerk. I should’ve let you know that I’m fine. I didn’t mean to scare you like this.”

“I wasn’t scared. But I’ll twist your neck if you do it again,” Belphie mumbles. It may be the first time you see him so vulnerable. He’s actually cute when he doesn’t try to make you go mad with screams. You sigh and hug him tighter before eventually letting him go. You don’t want to push your luck. “What happened after our connection was cut off?”

You quickly tell the whole story, feeding him sandwiches in the process. Belphie is rolling his eyes at every little detail you mention.

“I can’t believe that you dragged my brothers into this mess. They completely lost their reason with you around.”

“Oh, come on, like your brothers weren’t giant troublemakers before!”

“…Maybe,” Belphie reluctantly agrees with a smile. You’re still slightly shocked how calmly you act around each other now. Maybe since Belphie thought that you were possibly dead, he changed his opinion on you, at least a little bit. You never realize the value of something until it’s gone, and all that. “And a human was the main secret villain all along. What a shocker.”

“Next time we have a similar problem, I’ll be counting on your expertise. You’re clearly an expert,” you smirk at the demon.

“Satan is an expert, or at least he tries to be. I bet he is really mad that he couldn’t solve this mystery himself,” Belphie smirks back.

“Oh, I’m not looking forward to everyone returning home. It’ll be a catastrophe.”

“Yeah, and I bet Solomon is now a persona non grata in our house.”

“He has kind of always been. Especially after he poisoned everyone.” You shake your head. Solomon managed to get on everyone’s bad side even faster than you, which is impressive. It’s a bit ironic that such a polite and positive guy is hated by everybody, while you, being the mess that you are, are the one who is the most popular among both demons and angels alike.

“Good riddance. One human in the house is more than enough,” Belphie scoffs. He may be the only one among your acquaintances who is not mad at Solomon for attempting to orchestrate Diavolo’s political demise. If anything, he would possibly support Solomon’s plan if he wasn’t trapped in a cage. But Belphie is still salty that the sorcerer poisoned Beel, so the demon doesn’t favor Solomon after all.

You can’t stay for too long; Lucifer may already be on his way back. So you say your goodbyes and hurry downstairs.

Now, what can you possibly do to make Lucifer just a little less furious? You decide that if you demonstratively do your homework in the library, the demon will at least note your efforts to become a more responsible person. So you do just that, even if it’s hard to concentrate on the history of the Devildom when you’re waiting to be punished as soon as the head of the house arrives.

It doesn’t take long. You hear the swish of his huge wings through the windows. An uncharacteristic nervousness makes your fingers grip the book tighter as your ears focus on calm footsteps that get closer and closer…  

“Hm.” This is the only reaction you get for being in the library, hard at work. Obviously, you didn’t expect to be praised, but you thought you’d get some kind of snarky remark at least. Lucifer snaps his fingers, and one of the bookcases slides to the side to reveal a hidden passage to his office.

Lucifer’s secret room. The stuff of legend among the inhabitants of the House of Lamentation. Everybody knows where it is, because Lucifer takes there those who fucked up especially severely. But nobody can open the passage except for him. You’ve never been there yet; all the previous lectures were given in the music room or in his bedroom. This is how you know that he is especially angry at you.

Lucifer walks into the passage without a single word, clearly expecting you to follow. Some part of you wants to try to escape instead. But you have to shake off this cowardly thought. So you go inside, then down the wooden steps, and finally get to see what all the fuss is about.

There are no torture devices, which surprises you. Instead, it’s a rather pleasant office, where wooden decorations and a polished stone floor create mature, serious atmosphere of a place that is used for work and not torture. The only laid-back detail is a ton of shelves filled with expensive Demonus. So it’s not only an office but a secure place where Lucifer can hide from his brothers and drink his sorrows away.

“It’s a cool room,” you mutter quietly, looking around. If the demon hears your praise, he doesn’t show it.

Lucifer leans on his desk and crosses his arms, looking at you just as silently as before. It’s impossible to say what he is thinking, but the fact that he is still in his demon form makes you nervous. At least he doesn’t straight up attack you, so that’s progress.

“Look,” you decide to start, for better or for worse, “I completely agree with everything you may have on your mind. I fucked up. I put myself and your brothers in danger. It was all my brilliant idea. And even if Diavolo allowed me to walk away without punishment, that doesn’t mean that you should. I’m prepared to take the responsibility.”

“No smart jests? No blame-shifting? You just admit that you’re in the wrong? It must be the first time I witness it.” Lucifer cocks his eyebrow, continuing to stare at you.

“Hey, I actually always admit if I do something wrong. You just make it difficult. I instinctively hate to accept that you’re right. But luckily, it happens rarely, and I’m usually the one who is correct,” you say quicker than you can think your words through. Lucifer’s gaze clearly indicates that you should act much more humbly if you don’t want to meet the full force of his wrath.

“Are you sure that you want to be a smart-mouth with me right now?” the demon asks coldly.

“You know, maybe I should stay quiet,” you sigh and scratch the back of your head. “Me talking only ever leads to more problems. Anyway, I said my piece already. I’m wrong; you’re right. Go ahead and punish me.”

“You asked me to punish you so many times that I’m starting to think that it’s something you really want.” A tiny smirk appears on Lucifer’s lips as he straightens up and approaches you. For some reason, your breath hitches as he stops in front of you, in all his demonic glory.

His proximity in this secret, secluded room makes your thoughts rush into a whole other direction, but you bite your lip from the inside and look Lucifer in the eye. He’s teasing you, but he’s still mad. Initiating something is not appropriate for the situation. It’s not a regular slip-up; you were caught doing something serious. You murdered a Lord. Fixing it with a quick, passionate sex is not an option. Or is it?...

Your thoughts get interrupted once Lucifer starts to slowly take off his red gloves, revealing his hands, covered in scars. The demon watches you closely, painfully aware of all your indecent thoughts. His bare fingers slowly envelop your neck, making you swallow down hard. His magic spins around you, summoning some kind of object.

As soon as you feel a familiar heaviness around your neck, you understand what this is. A damn collar. Again.

This one is different, though. Instead of Mammon’s initials and gems embedded into the golden frame, this collar is made of dark leather. Simple design, with one little tweak – the collar has a little bell.

“I recall you wanting this kind of collar.” Lucifer doesn’t hide his wide smirk as he watches your neck with hungry eyes.

“I wanted it for you!” You can’t help but let out your annoyance. “And I can’t believe you even remember this stuff in the first place. Is this really necessary?”

“Absolutely.” Lucifer puts on his professional mask, casually explaining to you that you’re fucked. “This little accessory is not just for fashion’s sake. From now on, the only places you’re allowed to visit are this house, RAD, and the castle. No cafes, no shops, no Purgatory Hall. The collar will notify me the second you decide to go anywhere other than those three places. And believe me, this bell rings very loudly. So if you want to keep your hearing intact, you will focus on your studies and nothing else. Enough is enough.”

“But what if…”

“No buts, no ifs. Is it clear?” Lucifer grabs the bell and tugs you toward him. A pleasant ringing fills the room. “You’d be wise to thank me for being so merciful. It’s not even the full house arrest that you deserve. Now let’s see if limiting the places you can visit will help you avoid causing trouble.”

“…Fine.” You can only sigh. It’s much less severe than any other punishment you imagined, but it’s also one of the worst outcomes. You would rather be beaten, not restricted. And you’re sure that Lucifer understands that as well. “How long do I have to wear this thing?”

“As long as I see it fit. But you can hasten the process by focusing on your education and getting good grades. The less trouble you cause, the faster you can get rid of it.” Lucifer’s fingers are still playing with the little bell. The soft ringing pisses you off, to the great satisfaction of the demon. “It looks good on you,” he says mockingly, enjoying your anger.

“One day I’ll put it on your neck,” you promise. Lucifer only scoffs in response.

“I’d like to see you try. Now, there is nothing left to discuss, so…”

“Actually,” you interrupt him, trying to sound a bit more polite. You need his cooperation for this to work. “We have a little problem. I kind of promised Cerberus a couple of things…”

“And why is it my concern?” Lucifer cocks his eyebrow again.

“Because I promised that you will do something. And if Cerbie doesn’t get it, I think he’ll destroy the basement.”

Lucifer sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What is it, then?”

“We’ll have to play with him the whole night. And you’ll feed him some especially tasty meat.”

“And that’s all?” Lucifer crosses his arms. “I have a lot of work at the moment, thanks to some restless human, but I guess I can spare a few hours…”

“And we’ll sing a duet.”

“…Excuse me?” Lucifer widens his eyes. You rarely get to see a real shock on his face, but it’s always a treat.

“We’ll sing together this time. It’s non-negotiable. So,” you casually march toward the shelves with Demonus as if you own the place, “which one should we take with us? I remember how talkative you get when you’re drunk, so I think a bit of alcohol is exactly what we need.”

“First of all,” Lucifer grunts, clearly not inspired to sing tonight, “I don’t remember giving you permission to make any promises on my behalf. Second…”

“Too late, what’s done is done.” Now it’s your time to smirk. “Unless you want to repair the whole basement later, start warming up your husky vocal cords. Cerbie is waiting for our performance.”

“…I hate you,” Lucifer sighs again and grabs a couple of bottles from the shelf.

***

“I can’t believe you’ve talked me into this,” Lucifer grunts as he settles on the grass. He’s in his regular form, which puts you more at ease. You breathe in the clear air of the pine forest, watching Cerberus run in the distance.

“It wasn’t that hard, surprisingly,” you smirk and sit down next to him. “Be careful, you’re getting wrapped around my finger really fast.”

“It’s astounding how differently we see each situation. Are you that delusional?” Lucifer grabs the bell on your collar and tugs it almost playfully. It seems he just likes to mess around with the little bell.

“No, you’re just in denial,” you say as you open the first bottle. It won’t affect you in any way, but the taste should be nice. Neither of you brought any glasses, and despite the fact that Lucifer can just summon them out of thin air, it was silently decided that you would drink straight from the bottle. You take the first sip and hand the bottle to the demon. He swallows down the alcohol, clearly wanting to get drunk before Cerbie returns and he’ll have to sing to him. “So, is there any song you had in mind? I’d prefer to learn the lyrics before our great performance.”

“Yes, I know one. It’s short and simple. A lullaby.”

“Okay, great. Now let me hear it.”

“I can just write down the lyrics for you,” Lucifer frowns.

“No, I need to hear how it goes. Come on, don’t be shy.” You don’t even try to hide how much you enjoy Lucifer’s little torture. The demon simply rolls his eyes and takes another sip.

“Fine,” he submits, coughs a bit, and starts singing in a low and creepy voice:

“Hush now, hide, all you little ones
Rush now, into the middle of nowhere
Singing and laughter will die

Dreamless sleep, follows the Nowhere King
When his kingdom comes, darkness is nigh

Quiet, crawl to the in-between
Silent, secretive feeling
Of fearsome hatred that reaches the skies

You will bring joy to the Nowhere King
When he sees the light leaving your eyes”

You can’t help but laugh at this very Devildom-ish lullaby. The little bell rings as you shake with laughter, entertaining the demon.

“Okay, brilliant. Cerbie will love it,” you say with confidence. You noticed long ago that the dog prefers either spooky songs or the ones about doomed love. And it seems his Owner has a similar taste. Lucifer doesn’t reply, as if waiting for you to say something else. You smirk and say, “You have a beautiful voice, Lucy. You should sing more often.”

“I won’t, but thank you anyway.” Lucifer looks relaxed, despite just being put on the spot. So you decide to pry a little.

“So, what happened after I left the Purgatory Hall? Is everyone alive?”

“Yes. I assume you’ll be pleased to know that Lord Diavolo arrived just in time. Nobody is hurt. Almost. But the building itself sustained some damage.”

“Yeah, I think some madman broke the roof. A real freak, if you ask me,” you tease the demon, slowly drinking the remaining Demonus. Lucifer doesn’t react, stretching on the grass and lying down with a soft smile. He’s in his happy place. You wouldn’t be surprised if he relives the memories of him tearing Solomon with his claws, or something like that. “And what’s with Asmo, Levi, and Satan? They still didn’t return. You think they are fine?”

“I trust Lord Diavolo’s and Barbatos’ judgment. My brothers made terrible mistakes and should be punished accordingly.”

“I still can’t believe…” Your words get stuck in your throat as you look at Lucifer. He casually unbuttons his shirt, revealing his sharp collarbones. The Demonus definitely affects him, even if it’s more subtle than usual. His hands, still gloveless, slowly find the next button. You decide to distract Lucifer before everything inevitably goes south. Usually you’d make a move, but not when Cerberus is running around you. “So, what’s up with the scars?”

Lucifer moves his gaze to his hands. All the old wounds can be seen perfectly, no longer covered by the dark fabric.

“The Celestial War,” he simply responds, not elaborating further.

“Who managed to hurt you that much?”

“In a sense, it was self-inflicted.” Lucifer looks at you. There is a shadow of dull pain in his eyes, but it’s been too long. He learned how to live with it. “I didn’t start the rebellion relying on my own strength alone. I had a plan and the means to win. I found a weapon that would help me to take down the Father. Once and for all.” Lucifer sighs. You lie down next to him, listening silently. “But it turned out that I wasn’t strong enough for this weapon. It burned my hands the second I tried to use it. No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t submit to my will. I lost my only chance to succeed. And then we were crushed and banished.”

You don’t reply. Nothing you can say can even remotely fix everything that happened to Lucifer and his family. Time doesn’t heal all the wounds, but at least they all learned how to live with it. Except for Belphie, which is the exact reason why he is locked in the attic.

You move closer, putting your head on Lucifer’s shoulder. Your arm wraps around his torso in a side hug, making the demon tense up and stare at you in surprise. After long, silent seconds, he finally relaxes, allowing you to hold him in your embrace.

Both of you lie like that for quite some time, till Cerberus finally returns. After some friendly teasing and nudging, you manage to force Lucifer to sing alongside you. Cerbie is listening to every word without moving; even his usually active tail lies still.

But when you finish singing the lullaby, he finally unfreezes. Needless to say, the dog is ecstatic to hear your duet, to the point he starts spitting fire uncontrollably across the land. You and Lucifer both have to spend hours running after Cerberus, putting out fires, and trying to catch the beast. But since the dog thinks that it’s your way of playing tag, no amount of Lucifer’s threats makes the monster stop.

By the time you crawl into your bed, you stink of smoke and Demonus. You tried to be a gentleman and escort Lucifer to his bedroom, but he almost shoved you into your room. The demon was insistent that he needed to work, so he couldn’t allow you to get anywhere near his bed. He even dodged your attempts to peck his cheek, which left you salty.

But you’re finally in your own bed after days of lack of sleep and crazy adventures. There is a lot of tension between your friends at the moment, but Solomon must’ve infected you with his optimism. You smile and fall asleep, hoping that everything will work itself out.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

And now to see your love set free
You will need the Witch's cabin key
Find the lady of the light gone mad with the night
That's how you reshape destiny

Old Gods of Asgard (Poets of the Fall) – The Poet and the Muse

Here she is. She is standing right in front of you, staring with her violet eyes. Her white dress rustles in the non-existent breeze. It’s just you two in this dream. And for the first time she visits you in your head, there is no barrier between you.

“Finally,” she sighs with relief. “It’s impossible to get through all this demonic energy when my brothers are near you, even when you just sleep together. But you’re alone now. And I can finally talk to you.”

“Not to be rude…” You look around as the surrounding area becomes clearer the longer you focus on it. It’s Lilith’s room; the artificial sun behind the window and the furniture covered with white fabric are just the same as you remembered. “But aren’t you supposed to be dead? Are you some kind of impersonator?”

“You could call me that, yes.” She doesn’t sound offended. Lilith radiates endless calmness, humility even. “I’m but a little piece of who I once was. The Devildom has been slowly devouring me, despite the protection of this room. But don’t pity me,” she smiles, “it was my choice to be here.”

“How did you get here? And why does nobody seem to know that you’re living in this house?” This whole thing seems way too strange. It’s been hundreds and hundreds of years since she died. But her spirit seems to be unable to move on. And according to Beel, she died back in the Celestial Realm. Why is she haunting the replica of her old bedroom?

You frown as you try to remember everything you know about this girl and the Celestial War. You know little snippets from the books and the stories Lucifer and Beel told you. But it’s unknown why the war started in the first place. Because Lucifer and his siblings started the rebellion, yes. But you never actually question what made them do it in the first place. Belphie told you that Lilith was in love with a human. Could this be somehow connected to the Celestial War?

“It’s a long story,” she gives you a sad smile, “the one I think Lucifer should tell you, not me. But I’ll tell you this: when I reached the end of my journey, I met someone.” Lilith slowly flies to the window and looks through it with an empty gaze. “They were a demon, I think. They returned my memories to me. And they offered me a choice. I could either let go and move on to the afterlife, or I could stay with my family. They warned me that my brothers’ new demonic forms would be harmful to my soul, but they promised to find me a safe place in their new home, where I could hear them. Where I could watch over them from afar, yet remain so close…”

Lilith’s hand slides over the glass of the window as she relives her memories.

“Lucifer created this room as a way to preserve memories of me. That demon thought that this would be a perfect place, so they put me here. I don’t know how they did it, but it’s the only place in the whole Devildom where I can continue to exist.”

She hovers to the other side of the room and puts her hand on the wall.

“Right behind this wall is Beel’s and Belphie’s room. And there,” she points at the ceiling, “is the attic, where Belphie currently is. I hear their crying almost every night. Can you imagine the pain I’m feeling?” Lilith gazes at you. She is unable to shed a single tear as a ghost, but you know that she desperately needs it. “I can’t reveal myself to them, because their magic would destroy all that remains of me. But I never was burdened by it. As long as I could hear their laughter through the walls, I could endure. But lately all I heard was crying.”

“I’m sorry.” You feel heaviness in your stomach. Lilith evoked the memories of your own death. Even if your soul wasn’t outside your body for that long, you still know what Lilith is feeling.

You look around the sunny room with new appreciation. So the Devildom has a safe place where even human and angel souls can survive the overwhelming demonic energy.

“But then you arrived,” Lilith smiles again; her sadness is dispelled by pure happiness. And hope. “And I started hearing laughter again. Even from Beel and Belphie. You have no idea how much it means to me.” Lilith flies closer to you; her soul emanates soft, calming energy. “I need your help. I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to break the spell that keeps Belphie locked up. And for that you need the power of all seven of them. But there is another way.”

“Seriously?” You can’t help but raise your eyebrow. It almost sounds too good to be true. As much as you sympathize with this girl, you can’t just believe everything she is saying.

“The spell can be removed by the power of all seven siblings. And as much as I believe in you, you won’t be able to make a pact with Lucifer anytime soon. But you don’t need to. Because I’ll be the seventh sibling instead of him.”

“How? You can’t even leave this room,” you frown. Having plan B is always nice, but this doesn’t feel like a reliable way to use a loophole in Lucifer’s spell.

“The Devildom has been eating my soul, but I still have some strength left. Once you make the pact with Satan, come to me. We will go to the attic and fix everything. I won’t stand aside and watch my family crumble because of misunderstandings and old wounds that never healed.” Lilith’s calmness leaves her posture, changing into a much firmer emotion. Determination. She was fighting alongside her brothers in the Celestial War. And she’s still a fighter.

“Lilith, I know what’s waiting for you out there. You won’t be able to leave.”

“I will. For a short while, but I will. And if something goes wrong and I perish, I won’t have any regrets. I can’t bear this crisis any longer. If it means that I have to die again to fix everything, I’ll do it. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for them.” Lilith stares at you with intensity. “We don’t have time to wait till Lucifer is ready to enter a pact. It may never happen; we both know that.”

“Yes, but your plan is a much higher risk. Are you sure that it’s what you want?”

“Yes. Remember, come to my room as soon as you make a pact with Satan. And don’t tell anyone about me. They suffer enough as it is.”

Her firm words ring in your head as you open your eyes and sit up on the bed. You remember every single detail of this conversation. You were hoping that all the little visions of Lilith were just your imagination, but it’s really her. Poor girl.

You shake your head, trying not to think about her tragic fate; it’s way too sad to dwell on it. The bell on your collar rings in sync with your movements.

It’s still early in the morning, so you have some time before your classes. You go to the bathroom with the intention to take an ice-cold shower. You need to get rid of the sleepiness and think everything through.

As the first droplets of freezing water land on your skin, you once again remember Lilith’s sad violet eyes. As much as you’d like to help her meet her family again, at least in some capacity, it seems impossible. The fact that she survived for that long in a hostile environment is already a miracle. You know from your own experience how hard it is to exist without a meat shield when the Devildom itself tries to kill you.

Finding some kind of meat shield for her would be a temporary solution, but how? According to Belphie, it must be someone alive, who can be kicked out and replaced by a new owner. An empty corpse won’t do; you tried it, but it didn’t work. No demon can come close to Lilith; it would be a death sentence to her. And you don’t exactly have a lot of humans or angels around who you’d be willing to sacrifice for Lilith’s sake.

You’re not even sure that she would be willing to possess someone else’s body. She is an angel; it might be against her principles.

You could try to ask Barbatos for help. He helped you and Solomon, so maybe he knows the solution to your problem. But Lilith doesn’t allow to tell anyone about her. And you know for a fact that Barbatos tells everything to his “Young Master”. Diavolo is pretty good at being discreet, but when that many people know a secret, it’s not a secret at all. Sooner or later, it will reach the brothers’ ears, and if you don’t have a solution by then…

That would crush them, there is no doubt. You can’t imagine how they would feel knowing that their long-lost sister sacrificed everything to stay by their side. And they can’t even see her, because their demonic energy is too dangerous.

You rub your face, wiping off the stinging sensation in your eyes. Crying and whining won’t help here. For now, the best course of action is to do her bidding. Keep her presence a secret and make a pact with Satan. You can’t make any decisions for her. If Lilith wants it to be this way, then you’ll do it.

Any kind of suspicion about her persona already left your mind. You’re way too familiar with how she might feel right now. And you’re way too invested in this family drama. It didn’t take long for you to get attached to every member of this demonic family. Now their problems are your problems as well.

You frown as you acknowledge these thoughts. They helped you a lot throughout your time in the Devildom, but to be so fond of them is…

You suddenly get interrupted by a doorbell. It’s way too early for guests, so it must be something urgent. You completely forget that there are at least two other people in the house that could answer the door. So you squeeze your wet body into the first pair of pants you find and hurry to meet the guests. Who knows, maybe Diavolo released Levi, Asmo, and Satan, and they finally came home?

But instead of three long-awaited demons, there are two angels on the porch. Plus one human.

“Good morning, Castiel! Nice choker!” Solomon’s smile shines as brightly as usual. He doesn’t look like a person who barely escaped death just a few hours ago.

“Hi…” you murmur, not even trying to hide your astonishment. This trio are the last people you expected to see visiting the House of Lamentation. All three of them are not welcome here.

“What are you doing here?” Lucifer’s cold voice manifests together with its owner right behind your back, making you shudder. Now this is the man who needs this ‘choker’, not you.

“Believe me, we are not here by choice!” Luke immediately barks back.

“Luke,” Simeon’s soft voice and his warm palm on the little angel’s shoulder stop the arguing before it even starts. “We talked about this. I agree with Lord Diavolo that it is for the best.”

“What exactly did Lord Diavolo come up with this time?” Lucifer’s eye instinctively twitches, already sensing a huge headache that the future king bestowed upon the poor man.

Simeon decides that it would be best for him to take the lead of the conversation. Neither of his companions is suited to talk with hot-tempered Lucifer.

“You see, after everything that transpired yesterday,” he starts, but gets interrupted by Luke.

“You ruined our house!”

“I made just as much damage as Simeon and Solomon,” Lucifer frowns and crosses his arms.

“Regardless of who was responsible,” Simeon continues, hiding amused sparks in his eyes, “the Purgatory Hall is currently unlivable. So Lord Diavolo suggested that we temporarily move in with you.”

“Suggested… More like ordered,” Luke sighs, looking at all the scary paintings and statues.

“You really think,” Lucifer’s fury is almost palpable, yet he manages to stop himself from turning into his demonic form, “that I’ll allow the man who wants to get his hands on the grimoire live in my house?”

“Don’t worry,” Solomon is unbearably cheerful today, which pisses off Lucifer even more. “I promised Castiel to forget about the grimoire and stop trying to obtain it. Besides, we both know that you can’t act against Lord Diavolo’s orders, so you’ll have to let me in.”

This remark makes Lucifer clench his fingers tighter. The demon can barely accept that he has to host two angels in his house. But the treacherous, sly human is more than he can handle. Diavolo intends to make you all get along by force, but the consequences can be dire for all of you. Lucifer is already growling, so you can’t count on him to be patient and level-headed.

It seems the real part of your punishment finally starts. It’s up to you to “maintain balance”, no matter how ridiculous it is to give such a task to you.

You carefully put your hand on Lucifer’s back, trying to show him your support and calm him down a little. The demon tenses at the touch, but at least he stops growling.

“Okay, instead of arguing, let’s figure out where you’ll be sleeping,” you say, taking the lead. “Since Beel has a free bed, and he and Luke get along well enough, I think Luke should share the bedroom with him. The guest room only has one bed, but there is enough space for a sleeping bag or one of those tents we used yesterday. The music room also has a pretty comfy couch. Solomon, Simeon, which place would you prefer?”

“Solomon is not sharing a room with you,” Lucifer grunts before any of them can respond. “I want him as far from the basement as possible. But the music room is also out of the question. He needs to be supervised at all times while he’s here.”

You know for a fact that if the attic was vacant right now, that’s exactly where Lucifer would put Solomon. But alas, it’s not an option. Lucifer must be already planning to build more cells for situations like this.

“So I have to share a room with someone, but not with Castiel?” Solomon really seems to thrive on Lucifer’s annoyance. His smile gets bigger the longer he listens to the demon’s grunts. “I doubt that you’ll trust anyone other than yourself to ‘supervise’ me, so I guess we have only one option, dear roommate.”

Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose while you gently stroke his back. Such a simple gesture seems to be working wonders; Lucifer is still in his human form, for instance. It makes you a bit proud that he accepts your support, let alone allows everyone to witness how much it affects him. Not so long ago, he would break your arm for even daring to touch him so casually. Maybe Lilith is wrong and you’re closer to making a pact than she thinks?

Lucifer doesn’t reply to Solomon, so everyone accepts it as a confirmation of Solomon’s words.

“Well,” Simeon tries to speak as softly as possible, fearing to reignite the demon’s wrath. “I’d rather share a room with Tiel than go to the music room, if that’s okay.”

You were hoping he would say that. You still have a lot to discuss, and now you’ll have a perfect opportunity. Lucifer just nods in response; he clearly trusts Simeon much more than Solomon. Maybe yesterday’s battle restored their camaraderie just a bit. Hatred toward Solomon seems to bring people together.

Your conversation is cut short once the door opens for the second time. Asmo, Levi, and Satan, all tired and roughed up, stumble into the house. You immediately hurry toward them and hug both Asmo and Levi at the same time, cramming them together in your slightly wet embrace. It’s not the time for your usual tough-guy act. Your friends are fine, and they are finally at home. If it’s not the time to show emotions, you don’t know when it is.

Asmo presses his body against you without hesitation, snuggling closer. Surprisingly, Levi doesn’t run away as he usually does, leaning closer and shutting his eyes in embarrassment. Satan is the only one who doesn’t get a hug, because you’re not sure whether he’d want it or not.

Instead, you both exchange looks over Asmo and Levi’s heads. Satan looks just as tired, but you don’t see any wounds or bruises, so it’s good enough for you. You give him a little smile, which gets bigger as he smirks in response. Yes, he’s fine.

After Lucifer gets tired of the crowd in the hallway, he decides to drag everyone to the dining room to have an urgent meeting and discuss the current state of affairs. He even calls Mammon to make sure that all the family is present. Apparently, the greedy demon was running around the city in search of Solomon all this time, with the intention to kick his ass. Why he didn’t go straight to Purgatory Hall is a mystery.

At this point everybody knows every single detail about Solomon’s failed plans. Such news spread fast. The sorcerer gets bombarded by angry glares from every single person in the room, except for you and the angels. And Asmo, to your surprise. Solomon played his cards right: choosing Asmo to be the first who would learn about his plans gained him a huge favor from a demon. You can only assume that the temporary telepathic connection they shared not only exposed his thoughts but also emotions. Asmo’s calmness reassures you further that you made the right choice to believe Solomon again.

Simeon also came to terms with the sorcerer, somehow. You still notice firm glances in Solomon’s direction from time to time, but overall, they seem amicable enough. Whatever Simeon did yesterday to Solomon seems to him enough of a punishment.

Luke seems to act around the sorcerer in the same manner he did before. You’re not sure that the little angel even realized that Solomon was the one who exposed him to mortal danger by teleporting him straight to the grimoire and Cerberus. Luke is not stupid, though, so maybe he just doesn’t have it in him to be angry for too long.

But that’s where acceptance ends and the trouble starts. As soon as Satan lays his eyes on the sorcerer, he grows his claws out and goes for an attack. Lucifer has to suppress his desire to just let Satan maul the human as he restrains his younger brother. Simeon has to help Lucifer haul Satan into the dining room and tie him to a chair.

Levi, despite being terribly tired, tries his luck as well. While Lucifer is distracted, he transforms and goes for a sneak attack from behind, but Asmo grabs him by the tail just in time.

“Why are you stopping me?! He almost killed you!” Levi hisses, already raising his arm to summon Lotan upon the sorcerer.

“Well, luckily for him, he didn’t finish the job!” Asmo’s voice is upbeat, but his smirk is truly devilish. Maybe he’s not as calm about the situation as you previously thought. “Besides, revenge is a dish best served cold. We have a truce for now, but I’ll make him pay for everything later.”

“Fine, I guess you should be the one to kill him after all…” Levi stops advancing toward Solomon and hides his demon form. The sorcerer is standing with the same smile he has had ever since he arrived. Nothing bothers him, not even numerous demons who want to twist his neck. If anything, he looks thoroughly entertained.

Something huge jumps from the second floor, ignoring the stairs, and lands right near Solomon. You and Luke have only several seconds to react and jump on Beel, making him slow down. The demon stops only from sheer confusion. It’s not every day a little angel hangs on his neck like a tie. You went for his right arm and torso. You’re lucky that Beel decided to halt; he can easily continue moving with the two of you on top of him.

“Beel, it’s okay,” you say in a gentle, calming tone. “Solomon is a jerk, I know, but it’s over now. Lucifer and Simeon already trashed him for us all.”

“Are you sure?” Beel frowns; every cell of his body wants to push further and make use of the massive muscles, but your tight grip is pretty persuasive.

“Yes, I threw a couple of punches myself as well. He got what he deserved. For now. So let’s calm the fu-, khm, let’s calm down.” You stop yourself from swearing just in time, remembering that there is a kid in the room. Luke feels that Beel doesn’t move and slides down with a relieved sigh.

You let go of Beel yourself, just in time to catch furious Mammon, who flies through the doors at top speed. The demon doesn’t really notice the new ballast as he slowly marches forward with you hanging on his back. You try to shift your weight toward the ground, hoping to slow Mammon down, but it doesn’t really work.

“So it was you who wrote that stupid article in Spicy News and called me ‘useless scum’, huh?!” Mammon chose a strange reason to be fuming over.

“I didn’t write the articles myself,” the sorcerer explains, observing your attempts to save him from yet another beating. “But I admit that it was my order to tarnish your reputation by any means possible.”

“Mammon, stop,” you press his back to your chest, holding both his arms with your hands. “The fight’s over. You’ll have to wait for another opportunity to get your revenge.”

“Ugh, it’s not over until I say so!” Mammon angrily twists in your arms, but not hard enough to actually break free. Maybe he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you?

“Mon, please,” you whisper in his ear, finally making him stop.

“…Fine,” he breathes out, trying to pretend that his blush is caused by anger and not by your soft breath against his ear. “Only ‘cause you’re asking.”

“Thanks,” you allow yourself to relax and let go of the demon. It seems nobody else is planning to jump on the sorcerer.

“I knew I could count on you,” Solomon winks at you cheerfully, ignoring very loud growling from the dining room. Satan is not as easy to tame as Levi, Beel, and Mammon. “Your persuasion skills are as reliable as I expected. Now, let’s join others in the dining room.”

As everybody starts slowly moving to the next room, you stop Asmo by grabbing his hand.

“Hey, are you alright? What did Diavolo and Barbatos do to you?”

“Sorry, Tiel,” Asmo gives you a soft smile and kisses your hand in apology. “We are not permitted to tell. But don’t worry, we are fine. Lord Diavolo even gave us a day off to let us regain our strength. A bit of beauty sleep and a couple of hours in a warm bath will do wonders. Too bad you can’t join.” The demon pouts jokingly, making you smirk in response.

You even contemplate whether you want to risk it and skip classes. Pampering your demons who were hurt because of you seems like a reasonable desire to have. But Lucifer is agitated as it is, so you have to behave for now.

The meeting passes by without any major fights. Satan even gets untied halfway through the discussion. Nobody is happy to have new temporary additions to the household. But at least Beel doesn’t mind Luke joining him. As long as the little angel bakes something for Beel from time to time, they’ll be fine.

Surprisingly, nobody protests when they hear that Simeon will share a room with you. The angel was right: nobody expects him to do anything ignoble or sneaky just because he’s an angel. Even though most of them were angels themselves. If your new roommate was literally anybody else, there would be a huge fight that would last several hours.

You sigh; even you don’t expect Simeon to do anything discreditable. No matter how much you would like that.

But you’re much more concerned about Lucifer and Solomon’s pair. The sorcerer’s shit-eating grin makes you fear that this house will be blown up in the same manner as the Purgatory Hall.

But there’s nothing you can do, so there’s no point in worrying over such things. You focus all your attention on Simeon instead, taking him to your room as soon as the meeting ends. Sharing the room with the angel is like a dream come true, and you’ll make the most of it.

You can’t help but feel proud when Simeon praises your bedroom, even if it wasn’t you who decorated it. You help the angel to unpack and organize a little tour around the house. It’s not the first time Simeon visited the House of Lamentation, but last time he didn’t make it past the hallway.

Simeon praises every little thing you demonstrate to him and clearly enjoys the atmosphere of the house, to your surprise. As you walk past Lucifer’s room, you take a peek to make sure that Solomon is still alive.

To your relief, the sorcerer is alive and feels right at home in Lucifer’s bedroom. He already conjured a giant bed that occupies half of the room and put all his potions and ingredients on the demon’s desk.

You notice Lucifer standing in the corner with his arms crossed. He doesn’t move a muscle, perhaps fearing to unleash some kind of curse on accident.

“I’m sure Solomon will enjoy your collection of cur-… old recordings.” You give a suggestion to the stone-faced demon. Solomon starts conjuring his favorite floating clocks that tick obnoxiously loudly, getting on Lucifer’s last nerve. “How about that one I got for you? Do you still have it?”

“I do, in fact.” Lucifer relaxes a bit at the perspective of indirectly harming Solomon. As long as the sorcerer gets hurt ‘accidentally’, Diavolo won’t be able to blame him for insubordination. “Solomon, what would you say to some music?”

“It’s a brilliant idea, Lucifer!” Solomon responds enthusiastically, so you take Simeon by the hand and leave as fast as possible. You don’t want to be caught in crossfire.

Maybe Lucifer and Satan should join forces? Satan has the most experience at pranks and curses, so his help would be invaluable in taking Solomon down. You shake your head with a smirk. You forgot about the whole balance thing within the first five minutes and started contributing to the chaos.

***

The day at RAD ends up being uneventful. It’s a bit lonely since your group is not at its usual capacity, but Beel and Mammon still keep you entertained with their usual shenanigans. Though every conversation inevitably leads to a discussion of how it would be best to kill Solomon.

“This apple pie is delicious!” Beel smiles and bites into the sweet treat.

“Maybe we should poison Solomon’s food. I think Asmo is responsible for cooking today, he’ll help.” Mammon mumbles, thoughtfully looking at the pie.

“With the stuff he eats, he may be immune to poison,” Beel joins the brainstorming session. “Didn’t you win some money on a dancing competition or something? Maybe we should hire a killer.”

“Who do ya think I am?! I’ve already spent it…” Mammon sighs heavily, crossing out the word ‘poison’ from the list of the ways he could murder Solomon that he’s been writing all day.

You try to shut down their discussions, quickly growing tired of their insistence on hurting the sorcerer. You get it, you really do, but they won’t succeed in killing him anyway, since even Lucifer and Simeon combined didn’t finish the job. All their plans will only lead to more problems.

After they start talking in circles, you simply leave them to their own devices and decide to solve one of the issues you’ve created. You know where Mephisto’s office is, so you go right there and knock on the door.

Mephisto opens the door invitingly, staring at the document in his hands. But as he raises his gaze and sees who came to see him, he shuts the entrance. You even hear a key turning around in the lock as the demon barricades himself inside his office.

Well, you expected a reaction like this. You deserve it for sure.

“Hey,” you say as you lean on the door, completely sure that the demon hears you. “Look, I just came to check on you. And say that I’m sorry. I wish it didn’t turn out the way it did.” You sigh and rub your forehead, struggling to find words. “Anyway, good for you for having the guts to tell Diavolo everything. I didn’t expect it, but fair play. I guess I admire you for it.” You straighten up and start slowly walking away. “That’s all. Sorry for disturbing you.”

“Castiel.” You hear a muted voice from behind the door.

“Yeah?” You stop in your tracks, ready to listen.

“If you have any trace of decency left,” Mephisto says seriously, meaning every word, “you’ll resign from the exchange program and go home. Your presence in the program hurts Lord Diavolo and the Devildom much more than your possible failure to be a human student in the demon world. It doesn’t matter if the program won’t be successful. It’s more important for you to leave us all alone. You can’t be allowed to hurt anyone else.”

“Sorry, pal,” you force yourself to smirk, “but I’m not going anywhere. If you want to get rid of me, you know where to find me. See you later.” You wave at the closed door and go back to your guys.

You partially agree with Mephisto’s words, but you’re not a quitter. You’ll see it through to the end. For better or for worse.

***

“Thank you for your help!” Simeon gives you a bright smile as you delete the last viruses on his laptop.

It’s already evening, so most of the inhabitants of the House of Lamentation are in their rooms, getting ready for sleep. You and Simeon were hanging out together when he suddenly asked you to inspect his laptop.

The state of his device was horrible; it barely worked from all the suspicious applications he had installed. You suggested taking it to Levi, but for some reason Simeon was insistent that you should be the one to deal with this problem. So you could only shrug and get to work. You’re not an expert when it comes to computers, but even your basic knowledge is enough to make the laptop somewhat functional.

“I’m always happy to help,” you say as you quickly check through the files to make sure that nothing important got deleted. When a hot guy asks you for help, especially if it’s Simeon, you can’t simply say no. Especially after all the support he offered to you lately.

You frown, thinking about the recent events. You didn’t get to share your secrets with Simeon, since he learned everything without your help. But the way it all went down doesn’t sit right with you. You need to apologize somehow and learn what the angel thinks of you now. He acts as usual, but he must despise you after you murdered someone in cold blood.

Your thoughts get interrupted by something you suddenly notice among hundreds of chaotically placed files. Several gigabytes of text documents, most of them having similar names: “The Tale of the Seven Lords: Awakening (ver. 13)”, “TSL: Resistance (ver. with Henry’s death)”, “Lord of Emptiness, plans for the next book (DO NOT SEND THIS TO THE PUBLISHER)”.

“Hey, Simeon,” you speak up, not sure what you just found. “Are you into fanfiction? I knew that you were a TSL nerd, but I didn’t know you were into writing fics.”

“Oh,” Simeon sounds completely unbothered as he explains, “no, it’s not fanfiction, these are original works. Did you find a file named “TSL part 139”, by any chance? I need to finish the next volume soon, but I can’t find the file I wrote it in.”

“Hold up,” you say as you quickly turn around to face the angel. “I don’t understand. Why is your laptop full of drafts of all the TSL volumes?”

“Hm, because I wrote them?” Simeon looks at you innocently, but you know that he’s secretly dying of laughter.

“You? Wrote them?” The conversation from before flashes in your mind, finally solving the puzzle.

‘Are you going to take part in the quiz?’

‘Oh no, that would be completely unfair. I want to give others a chance to shine.’

“You’re Christopher Peugeot!” You point at him in an accusatory gesture. You are not sure how you feel about this. It’s obviously very cool, and you can’t wait to tell Levi about it. But you have too many questions to be happy that you uncovered this mystery. “Aren’t you supposed to be a human?”

“You see,” Simeon graciously lands on a chair next to you, positioning himself to fully see your face. It seems he doesn’t want to miss a single bit of confusion in your expression as he reveals his secret to you. He’s having fun at your expense, and you don’t really mind. “My publisher said that if I was known as a human, it would get me more readers among both angels and demons. If TSL was known as a book written by an angel, better believe it would never become popular in the Devildom. The same goes for the Celestial Realm, if I decided to present myself as a demon. At the time, I didn’t know any better, so I agreed to pretend to be a human.”

“Yeah, makes sense…” you say, looking at Simeon more attentively. “So how did you come up with all of this? I’m especially interested in the part that made Levi think that pacts can be more than just contracts. How can an angel know that?”

“Sometimes I have… visions. I write down everything I see and build a plot around it.” Simeon puts his hand on top of yours, looking you in the eyes. “I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any profound knowledge on the pacts. Though I’m pleased that my writing inspired Leviathan to make a pact with you.”

“So what, you have literal visions? Like you can see the future?” You frown at the thought that suddenly appears in your mind. The tale about the seven lords… Surely it can’t be based on the infamous seven brothers, right? Because if it’s the case, then Henry is…

“I’m not always sure what I see. Sometimes it’s the future, sometimes the present or the past. It’s very vague and metaphoric. A great source of inspiration for a writer, but very unreliable when it comes to real life.” Simeon gives you a sad smile as his fingers intertwine with yours. “These visions started when Lucifer and the others left. At first, I thought that they were parts of my imagination, fruits of my loneliness. But then I started writing them down, trying to see some kind of sense, a message, or maybe a warning.”

You tighten your grip on his hand, gently caressing his dark skin with your fingers. You want to make him feel less lonely.

“The more visions I saw, the more it was clear: they are unreliable. Even though they are unmistakably connected to the real events, the visions are but a reflection in the distorting mirror.” Simeon’s hand raises toward your head; his fingers gently put a naughty hair in place. “I wish my books could guide you on your path, but it’s not that simple.”

“We create our own path, with our own choices and actions…” You repeat the same phrase you said to Diavolo when he was asking whether you believed in destiny. You give the angel a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, even if your books were to contain some kind of important prophecy, I would likely ignore it. I’m not the kind of guy who would follow some cryptic script.”

Simeon laughs lightly, letting out the tension out of his chest.

“I’m relieved that I didn’t fail you, then.”

“Thank you for telling me,” you say as your hand lands on Simeon’s cheek. You too want to give him comfort with your touches. Your fingers are not nearly as silky as Simeon’s, but he enjoys your soothing caress all the same. “Do you want me to keep it secret, or?...”

“Do as you see fit; I won’t mind either way,” the angel mindlessly gives you permission, paying more attention to your hands that slide against his face and arms.

“Simeon,” you call, making the angel’s hazy gaze concentrate on your lips. “You now know everything I did last night. What do you… what do you think of me now?” Your breath hitches as you ask the question. Simeon was always your source of light in this endless darkness. If he hates you now…

“I love you all the same.”

This simple, confident answer makes you freeze on the spot. You seek any signs of Simeon’s usual amused sparks in his blue eyes, but he’s deadly serious.

“But… How?...”

Love. You’ve always avoided this word, even in your thoughts. It’s always “people I care about” or “my friends”, but never “people I love”. The implications behind this word are so terrifyingly heavy that you don’t even want to unpack what you actually feel.

But Simeon uses this word so easily. It scares you. Not because he uses it carelessly, not realizing the impact of his words. But because he says exactly what he wants to say. Simeon said that he loves you specifically because this word describes what he feels toward you.

“How?” He repeats after you, leaning closer. “How could I not, Tiel? I don’t think there ever was another option. I was teased by the visions of you for so long. So many possibilities, so many different reflections of the same soul. I couldn’t wait to meet you, to see who you really are.”

“And now that you’ve met me?...”

“None of the visions come close to the real you.”

“Remember how you asked me to not idolize you?” You ask with a tense smile, suddenly feeling like you’re supposed to meet some incredibly high standards.

“Don’t worry, I know that you’re far from perfect.” Simeon laughs softly and plants a kiss on your cheek. “But you are perfect for me. So if you accept such an imperfect angel as myself…”

“I do! I accept…” Your response sounds a bit too eager for your liking, but it doesn’t really matter when the end of the sentence drowns in a heart-stopping kiss.

Everything becomes so meaningless as Simeon’s lips find yours. You could carry the world on your shoulders and feel like it weighs nothing, as long as Simeon kisses you so passionately. Despite the heated atmosphere, the angel retains his composure, caressing your lips ardently but mindfully.

The ringing of your phone cuts into your brain like a knife through melted butter. Simeon slowly leans back to interrupt the kiss, but you grab his waist and pull him closer instead.

“Tiel… The phone…” he murmurs into a kiss.

“Fuck the phone.” You blindly search for your D.D.D., attempting to turn it off. Unfortunately, your clumsy fingers press the accept button instead.

“Castiel!” Diavolo’s joyful voice is always a pleasant surprise, but not when Simeon is right in your embrace. The angel finally escapes your grip as Diavolo’s greeting shatters the intimate atmosphere. You can only accept your defeat and greet the prince back.

“Hey! What’s up?” You hope Diavolo doesn’t notice how out-of-breath you sound.

“Sorry for such a late call, but I just can’t contain myself! I finally managed to clean up my schedule, so it’s time to reward you for that Treasure Hunt you and the others won! Tell everybody: we’re going to the beach!”

“What?!”

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

You know that I'd ride it and die for you
You know I got nothing to hide from you
You know I got space in my life for two, yeah, yeah
Got a lot of love but in constant fear
'Cause if I get hurt I don't think I'd heal
I need you to hear me loud and clear, yeah, yeah

So can you kiss me like you're dying of thirst and I'm water?
So can you kiss me like my lips help you breathe underwater?
'Cause that's how bad I want you, bad I want you

KREAM – Water (ft. ZOHARA)

The news about the beach trip spread like wildfire. Even though it was still Monday and the trip would start on Friday, many inhabitants of the House of Lamentation had trouble sleeping from excitement. You met everyone the next morning, and Beel looked like he didn’t catch any sleep. He explained that Luke kept him awake by blabbering about all the activities beaches typically have and making a list of everything he wanted to try out in the sea.

Lucifer looked just as rough as Beel. Solomon wasn’t the type of man to let the excitement get the best of him, but he had another major flaw. He was a night owl and preferred to work on his potions when all the decent people were asleep in their beds. Abandoning his plans didn’t mean that he had any fewer orders, so he had to continue working, despite the Purgatory Hall being destroyed. Lucifer couldn’t possibly fall asleep with all the commotion the sorcerer was making. On the one hand, it could be beneficial because he and Solomon wouldn’t have much energy to start fights. On the other, they were extra cranky, especially Lucifer, so everybody stayed away from them, fearing to provoke a conflict.

Everybody was excited to go to the beach, even shut-in Levi. The whole house was bursting with anticipation. The demons and the angels were making preparations the whole week, making sure they’d have everything they needed for a two-and-a-half-day trip.

Beel stashed the food for the beach around ten times, but he needed to start anew every day. Asmo’s and Satan’s suitcases were as enormous as last time, filled with clothes and books. Levi forced himself to forget about bringing his manga and figurines with him, fearing that humidity would damage his prized possessions. Mammon kept this baggage to a minimum, clearly hoping to score some rare seashells or rocks and sell them.

Simeon was infected by Luke’s cheer, so they both had fun while preparing. You couldn’t help but join them, so your bedroom became the base of operations. You’ve never visited the beach before, so you relied on Simeon’s expertise to bring all the necessary things. Soon every horizontal surface of your room was covered in bottles of sunscreen, deflated floaties for both you and Luke, beach umbrellas, volleyballs, sunglasses, beach towels…

By the end of the week there was so much stuff that there was barely any place left for Simeon’s sleeping bag. You gallantly offered to share a bed together. Simeon agreed with a teasing smile, seeing right through your ulterior motives. Unfortunately for you, Luke heard your offer as well and got excited to join your and Simeon’s ‘sleepover’. You couldn’t say no to him, so you’ve spent the last couple of nights cramped with both angels, giving Beel a chance to sleep in peace. It wasn’t too bad, though; being squished from both sides by the angels was strangely comfortable, so you got the most relaxing sleep in your life.

You did your best to visit Belphie when you were sure that Lucifer was too busy to keep an eye on his prisoner. You brought the sleepy demon different treats, hoping to make him less salty from the fact that everybody was going to have fun without him. He demanded that you use your telepathic connection more often and entertain him while he was stuck in the attic.

You didn’t get a chance to approach Satan and ask about a pact. No matter how excited you were about the trip, Lilith was still waiting. But the demon locked himself in his room, reading all the books about beaches and sea creatures of the Devildom. It was his way to prepare, and he didn’t appreciate when anyone was distracting him from reading.

Lucifer and Solomon were the only ones who remained level-headed in this chaos. Their preparations were methodical and on point. They were more concerned with finishing their work in time before the start of this impromptu vacation. They were too busy to fight amongst themselves. To your shock, Lucifer and Solomon turned out to be the calmest people in the House, serving as the voices of reason when any of you became too engrossed with preparations.

At least that was true until the day Asmo suddenly said during breakfast, “Tiel doesn’t have a swimming suit, does he?”

“Yeah, I guess I should go and buy something,” you replied, absentmindedly munching on your dish. You didn’t like the silence that followed, so you had to turn your attention to other people at the table. Everybody except Luke looked like they were struck by a sudden thought.

“Tiel, honey, let’s go…”

“Cas, we’re gonna choose the best!...”

“That’s an oversight, we should…”

Asmo, Mammon, and Lucifer spoke up at the same time, getting in each other’s way. They stopped talking, looking at others with suspicion. The rest of the guys used this sudden tense silence to butt in as well.

“I’ll go with him,” Beel stated with confidence. “I know what kind of swimwear would be best for sports and swimming.”

“Hold on!” Levi also felt a sudden surge of courage. “Do you know how much time I spend swimming in my aquarium? I’m much more knowledgeable…”

“Knowledgeable? Please,” Satan joined the fight. “Everybody knows that I’m the most reliable when it comes to knowledge. I’ve already done a little research on swimwear, so I’m…”

“Theoretical research means nothing against practical experience,” Solomon protested with a bright smile. “I’ve spent lots of time in the ocean, I’m the most fitted to help Castiel with this.”

“…And I just think that it’ll be fun to go shopping with you, Tiel,” Simeon added earnestly.

What a mess. I’d say ditch them all. But since you’re completely useless on your own, I guess I could help you choose something decent.

You barely held in a hysterical laugh. So that’s how it was going to be from now on, huh? You felt a bit honored that a bunch of hot guys were fighting over you, but at the end of the day you were the one who had to deal with this mess.

Naturally, you ended up going shopping with all of them. There were simply no options that anyone would back down. Lucifer had to temporarily remove the restricting enchantment on your collar, but he promised to put it back on you the second you return home. You behaved this whole time, which, to be honest, wasn’t that long, so you felt like you earned your freedom. But Lucifer, as always, completely disagreed with you. You started to suspect that he just enjoyed seeing you in his collar, but the demon ignored all the accusations.

It was nice to get out and go shopping, no matter how chaotic it was to be accompanied by such a crowd. Somehow you even met Diavolo and Barbatos at the shop, which was way too convenient to be a coincidence.

So you had to pose in nothing but swim trunks in front of all of them. You had to be extra vigilant to hide Belphie’s mark, but other than that you didn’t mind. You don’t really have any issues with showing your body, but the situation is still pretty bizarre. Other customers got weirded out by a massive crowd of your guys near the changing rooms and left the shop. Consultants didn’t even dare to approach you, as the guys started fighting over the best swimwear.

You were mentally prepared to be put in the skimpiest outfits possible once Asmo and Mammon took charge. To your surprise, they chose the longest trunks they could find, preferring to “Protect your precious skin from sun rays, dearest,” and “Hide your body from those weirdos. I mean, look at them, gawking at ya like a piece of meat. I’m much more tactical, right?”

“I think you meant ‘tactful’…” You chuckled, looking at yourself in the mirror. “Ok, I don’t mind these trunks. It looks like we’re done here, let’s go home.”

But you had to spend the whole day in the shop, as everybody took turns choosing the right swimwear for you. You didn’t have to pay a single grimm and ended up with several swim trunks, wetsuits for diving, shorts with different levels of tightness… Solomon was the only one who shamelessly suggested low-rise swim briefs. And despite loud protests, nobody actually stopped him from buying one for you.

Belphie was just enjoying the show, critiquing every single choice the others made. You tried to describe everything in as many details as possible to entertain the demon, which he seemed to appreciate and showed his gratitude by not being as annoying as usual.

The whole week passed in a flash. None of the demons had time to worry about the angels or the sly sorcerer under their roof. The three guests effortlessly fit in the usual routine, helping with shopping, cleaning, and preparing food. Everybody looked forward to their brief vacation, uniting in their shared excitement.

***

Friday finally comes. Nobody can focus on their classes, daydreaming about warm sand and blue sea. Surprisingly, Lucifer almost doesn’t grumble about it, just promises to force all of you to repeat the same lessons later.

During lunch break, you have to close yourself in the toilet stall. You know for a fact that you won’t be able to resist the sight of all your favorite guys in swimsuits. So in order to avoid the public humiliation of having a boner in front of everybody, you decide to prepare in advance. You couldn’t find the right moment to have some me-time with Luke and Simeon running around your bedroom. So you have to use an admittedly gross substitute – academy bathrooms. Luckily it doesn’t take long for you to finish; the sight of your half-naked guys is too vivid in your imagination. With that out of the way, you’re ready to continue on with your day.

The departure is scheduled for the evening, after all the classes and extracurricular activities end. This time Barbatos and Diavolo are the ones who have to go to your place and make a portal there. As the last bell rings, your bunch starts running toward the House of Lamentation, competing in speed.

You decide against running, remaining behind with deeply sighing Lucifer and cheerful Diavolo. Barbatos has already disappeared to collect his and Diavolo’s baggage and start preparing the portal.

“They sure are energetic,” Diavolo laughs, looking at the running demons in front of you.

“What will other demons think after seeing their Rulers running around like a bunch of little children?” Lucifer says and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“As if it’s something unusual,” you smile, being on the same wavelength as Diavolo. It’s endearing that after living for who knows how long, they are able to get excited over things like a trip to the sea.

“Castiel, I have a very important mission for you,” Diavolo leans to you and puts his big hand on your shoulder. “If you notice that Lucifer secretly sneaked in any documents to work on them during his vacation, tell me right away. I intend to incinerate anything that even vaguely resembles finance reports or student applications.”

“You want me to snitch on Lucifer?” You raise your eyebrow with a smirk. “As if you even needed to ask. I’ll make sure he doesn’t hide anything inappropriate under his mattress, like a stack of security reviews or attendance records.”

“I’m still here, by the way.” Lucifer rolls his eyes in annoyance. “You dare to conspire against me out in the open? Are you not scared of consequences?”

“Speaking of consequences…” Diavolo’s hand slides from your shoulder to your neck. His fingers gently slide between your skin and the collar, tightly gripping the leather strip and ripping it apart. It doesn’t hurt you in the slightest. You watch with gratitude as the collar disappears into thin air. “I think it’s time to get rid of this.”

“Lord Diavolo,” Lucifer’s eyebrow twitches as he suppresses his anger. “I would prefer you to not intrude into my punishments. I was just about to remove the spell that restricts Castiel’s movements.”

“But you wouldn’t have removed the collar itself,” Diavolo nods knowingly, still keeping his hand on your shoulder. “It would be a shame if Castiel got tan lines because of this accessory. So,” he moves attention to you, “upon my authority, your punishment is no longer relevant. I want everyone to have fun without any setbacks.”

“You let him off too easily,” Lucifer grunts in disagreement but doesn’t push the matter further.

Once you finally reach the House of Lamentation, everybody is finishing their preparations, sprinting around the house in search of things they just remembered they need. You go to your room with the confidence of a man who packed the evening before and got guidance from Simeon the Wise. In your opinion, Simeon deserves this title much more than Solomon.

The first time you learned that “Solomon the Wise” was a legit thing mentioned in history books, you couldn’t stop laughing for several minutes. You went straight to Solomon with it, and he seemed to be slightly offended that you considered the title that ridiculous. Luckily a few kisses remedied that, but he still brings it up every time you ask him for advice, making you unironically use his title.

You get on Lucifer’s nerves for a good several minutes while you both visit Cerberus before departure. You bug him with questions about Cerbie’s food and other needs, while the demon has to assure you several times that his magic will take care of it. Only after he provides you a demonstration of his spells actually summoning a giant chunk of meat and cleaning Cerbie’s toilet do you finally calm down.

After a quick dinner and a few threats from Lucifer, everyone finally lines up in front of a newly created portal in the middle of the entrance hall. The obedience lasts for only several seconds, though. As soon as the portal fully activates, everyone rushes through it, making Lucifer immediately follow them with a heavy sigh. Diavolo just laughs it off, energetically strolling into the portal alongside Simeon and Solomon.

You don’t have such a casual relationship with portals and magic in general, so you stay a bit behind, gripping the shoulder strap of your backpack for reassurance.

“Don’t worry,” Barbatos also stayed behind, letting everyone pass first. “This portal is fully stable. But if you have any concerns,” he extends his hand, “I could offer you my support. Do you want it?”

“I told you, I’m not a kid,” you shake your head with a smirk. You’re starting to get used to the fact that Barbatos likes to baby you, but old habits die hard. You’re still not used to the overwhelming amount of support you receive from literally everyone.

“I always offer my help not because I see you as a kid, quite on the contrary,” Barbatos assures, acting unusually persistently. “I want to assist people I care about. I won’t force you to accept my help, but I wish for you to reconsider. Your affirmative reply would make me very happy.”

“Why?” You tilt your head quizzically, staring into Barbatos’ strange glowing eyes. “Do you still feel guilty for that incident with the artifact?”

“While I do have a lot of regrets about what happened,” the demon frowns, “it is not the case. I just want to see you alive and satisfied. And I want to hold your hand. As simple as that.”

“Huh…” you mumble, not sure how to respond. You’ve never quite understood where you stand with Barbatos. He’s an even bigger enigma than Lucifer, and that says a lot. He’s a strange guy, so all the little hints of possible attraction can always be something else entirely. And now he straight up asks to hold your hand. Just because that’s something he wants. You decide to stop overanalyzing everything and just go with the flow. “Okay, sure, let’s go then. We’ve kept everybody waiting long enough.”

You grab his hand and boldly march into the portal, pulling the demon right behind you. Barbatos doesn’t stop you from tugging him, gently clenching his fingers around your hand. A familiar swirl of the portal circles around you and teleports you someplace else.

You hear and smell it first before you see it. The sea. A salty breeze plays with your hair as you focus your gaze on the endless blue surface of shimmering water. You step forward and immediately feel soft sand under your feet. You wiggle your toes, digging them into the grit and finally noticing that teleportation changed your clothes into one of your swimsuits. You look around and fail to find anyone other than Barbatos, who changed into his beach attire as well. He’s wearing a turquoise Hawaiian shirt and dark green shorts. It’s the most relaxed look you’ve ever seen him wear.

“Okay, did you just kidnap me, or what?” Your question is more of a tease than an actual concern.

“Of course not,” Barbatos answers with a polite smile. “Just a temporary relocation. I thought that you’d prefer to have your first encounter with the ocean somewhere without chatter, which wouldn’t allow you to hear the waves.”

“So you remember…” You turn your head toward the water. So that’s an ocean, not a sea. You don’t mind either way, both of those things sound exciting to you. You can’t even be angry at Barbatos for teleporting you somewhere else without your permission. The demon is kind of right: your guys wouldn’t allow you to enjoy the view in peace. “I wanted to ask you, actually. Were you the one who told Diavolo that I wanted to see the ocean?”

“I may have offered a suggestion.” Barbatos comes closer and stands next to you, also admiring the scenery. “But Young Master was the one to make the final decision.”

“…Thank you,” you murmur quietly, reveling in the sensations of soft sand and salty breeze.

“I promised to show it to you, didn’t I?” Barbatos replies just as quietly, you can barely hear him over the gentle rustle of waves. “This time we had to go as a group, but maybe one day I’ll be able to afford to make it a trip for two. What would you like to see next?”

“I think a snowy mountain sounds fun,” you reply mindlessly. It’s hard to think about the next journey when you’re completely captured by the current one. You’ve been dreaming about the ocean for too long to get over it that quickly.

“Understood.” Barbatos smiles softly. “You must’ve missed the sun.”

“I didn’t have much to think about it, to be honest.” You sigh, looking at the clear sky. Luke was babbling about the artificial sun that Diavolo created for his private beach, which sounded nuts to you at the time. But here it is, shining brightly just like in the Human world. “But it’s nice to see the daylight again.”

“Even Young Master can’t create the sun that would illuminate the whole Devildom,” Barbatos says with a hint of regret in his voice. “But I’ll talk to him about creating more such sunny places for you. We all want your stay to be as pleasant as possible.”

“Don’t sweat it, I’m here for just one year after all.” You smile, suddenly feeling homesick. You miss your work and your tiny apartment. Even some of your colleagues and students. Crazy things that happen frequently partially distract you, but it’s hard not to miss the world where you lived your whole life, no matter how many hot guys surround you. Next year you’ll go on a vacation of your own, you decide. There are so many things you need to see in the Human world.

Barbatos falls silent, allowing you to daydream while watching the waves.

“Here you are!”

But calm moments never last. The crowd of demons, angels, and a human quickly runs toward you through the sand, raising dust in the air. They seem to come from the other side of the beach, and it doesn’t look like you were too far away from them in the first place.

“What is the meaning of this?” Lucifer tries to sound threatening, but you can’t take him seriously while he’s wearing shorts with pale legs sticking out of them. Unfortunately, he’s wearing a two-piece, long-sleeved swimsuit that covers the most interesting parts of his body. Luckily, he’s the only one who disappoints you. The rest of the guys look simply stunning in their swim trunks. Some of them wear thin shirts, just like Barbatos, but unlike him, nobody buttoned up, leaving their bare chests for you to gawk at. Luke looks simply adorable in his little bathing suit. You can’t help but wonder how Belphie would look and summon him through the pact to make him join the fun.

I guess I’d wear a hoodie or something.

Wearing a hoodie at the beach must be the most insane thing you’ve ever heard.

It’s cozy and soft. I’m not some weak human who can get sunstroke from such nonsense.

“I’m sorry.” Barbatos walks closer to Lucifer and meets his anger head-on. “It seems I made a mistake while conjuring a portal, so it teleported us into the other location.”

“Mistake? In your portal?” Lucifer crosses his arms and cocks his eyebrow in disbelief. “You’re making an awful lot of mistakes lately, Barbatos.”

“Well, all that matters is that we found each other!” Diavolo interrupts them cheerfully. “Now, let’s start our vacation properly!” The glasses with alcohol-free cocktails appear in the hands of each guest. Diavolo raises his glass and announces loudly, “Welcome to the beach! Let’s have as much fun as possible!”

***

As soon as everyone finishes their drinks, everybody rushes into the ocean. The tropical scenery of the private island is also very alluring, but nobody can resist the call of the ocean. Asmo grabs you before you can step into the water and showers you in sunscreen. You nod gratefully and continue walking further into the ocean. Even if you can’t swim, you still enjoy yourself by hanging around near the shore where your feet still can reach the bottom. But soon Simeon reaches you with one of the floaties he brought for you and Luke. So you and the little angel sail around on your fancy flamingo floaties, trying to race against each other while Simeon cheers for both of you.

After a while, Satan offers to teach you to swim, and you accept. It would be wise to get rid of this weakness. Besides, it’s just fun. So you splash around with his help, slowly getting the hang of it. The water in this ocean is so salty that it supports your body with ease, making your learning smoother. By the time you completely exhaust yourself and return to just standing around, you can kind of swim, but not nearly as confidently as others. Still, you feel like you’ve made good progress for one day.

All of a sudden, you feel something tugging your swimming suit down. A thought about Belphie’s pact mark flashes in your mind as you try to kick whoever is trying to steal your clothes.

Mammon pops out of the water with a loud “Ouch!”, rubbing his head. “It’s just a prank! Ya didn’t need to kick me!”

“Prank?” You cross your arms and stare at him disapprovingly. An especially strong wave rustles toward you, bringing on its back Diavolo on his floating mattress. He’s lying on his stomach, crossing his legs in the air, and holding a glass with another cocktail.

“Don’t worry,” Diavolo smiles brightly at you. “I asked Barbatos not only to change everyone’s clothes but also to enchant yours so that they couldn’t be removed without your consent. I’d hate to see you worrying about unnecessary stuff on your vacation.” He salutes you with his glass, taking a sip and winking at you.

“Hey, not fair!” Mammon whines, upset that his plans were ruined.

Let’s beat Mammon up!

Belphie is out for blood, and you kind of agree with him. “Okay, I hope you’re prepared for consequences,” you say menacingly as you move closer to the demon. Suddenly something grabs you underneath once again. Beel emerges between your legs, settling you on his shoulders like you weigh nothing.

“Let’s crush him,” Beel smiles, slowly getting closer to Mammon.

“Haaa?! So if that’s how it’s gonna be? Fine!” Mammon looks around in search of an ally. “Hey, salmon-guy! You’re on my team!”

“Who? Me?” Solomon looks genuinely shocked to be dragged into this. “What makes you think that I’ll help you to beat Ca… Okay, you’re already climbing…” The sorcerer winces as Mammon gets on his shoulders, ready to fight.

Your hands meet Mammon’s as you try to push each other from the shoulders of your team members. While it’s hard to genuinely compete with the demon’s raw strength, you have better support underneath you. Beel is as reliable as a rock, holding you without a flinch. The same can’t be said about Solomon.

“Stop wiggling so much,” the sorcerer frowns, trying to keep balance among waves.

“Well, it’s not my fault that your grip is shit! I’m trying not to fall here!” Mammon snaps back, struggling to sit on Solomon’s shoulders.

Destroy him!

With Beel’s and Belphie’s support, it’s just a matter of time before Mammon’s back hits the surface of the ocean, dragging Solomon with him.

You all crawl back to the shore, finding out that Lucifer and Levi have already prepared a barbeque for you. Levi just recently left the water, but you don’t think Lucifer left the beach at all. So after your finish you delicious portion, you drag him toward the waves. He grunts and frowns but still allows you to lead him beneath the waves. Others follow you shortly after, with Levi in the lead. The boy looks right at home when he swims around faster than anybody.

As the sun starts to set, Diavolo gathers everybody at the beach.

“I think it’s time for us to see where we’ll be sleeping,” he announces.

“Right, I didn’t see any houses around here.” Luke looks around, searching for possible shelter.

“Don’t worry, there is a fabulous hotel that I prepared for all of you.” Diavolo smirks and waves his hands, sending a wave of magic toward the ocean. Suddenly, giant bubbles start appearing on the surface, flying upward, then fully separating from the water. They hover toward you all, stopping expectedly. “These are the bubbles that will deliver you to the underwater hotel! A couple of them will be at the beach at all times, so you can use them whenever you want!”

“Underwater?” Solomon shifts uneasily, staring at the ocean.

“Are you okay?” You whisper to him, leaning closer. It’s easy to see that the underwater hotel doesn’t excite him as much as you.

“Yes, of course.” Solomon gives you a slightly tense smile. “I don’t like the ocean very much, that’s all. Swimming is fine, but diving is not my thing.”

“Oh dear!” Diavolo shamelessly joins your conversation. “What a shame! Come to think of it, Barbatos did mention something about you not liking the ocean,” he says, grinning widely. “Oh well. I guess we could arrange a tent for you. Would you prefer it to be on the shore or in the jungle?”

“Don’t worry about me,” Solomon fully restores his polite mask. His smile is now as relaxed as always. “I’ll endure. Let’s go to this hotel of yours. I’m sure it looks fantastic.”

Solomon is right. As soon as the bubbles deliver all of you to the bottom of the ocean, you see a giant white castle, glowing brightly among the darkness. It looks a bit more sophisticated than Diavolo’s castle, as if made out of glass. Waterborne demons swim around, ready to meet the esteemed guests.

Everybody gets their own room, which you appreciate. You haven’t been alone for a long while, and you needed some alone time. But as soon as you unpack the things that were seemingly teleported here by Barbatos, you hear a knock on the door.

“H-hey,” Levi squeezes himself into your room, looking around nervously.

“What’s up?”

“Look, I found this cool place… Underwater… A grotto. And, you know, since my pact allows you to breathe underwater, I wanted to show it to you. If it’s alright. It’s okay if you have other plans or…”

“Yeah, sounds awesome,” you interrupt Levi’s mumbling. So the boy finally got the courage to invite you on a date. You’re kind of proud of him.

“Really?” The demon can’t hide his excitement, giggling joyfully. “Okay, I’ll meet you near the exit in two hours. Everybody should be asleep by then. If someone invites you somewhere else, say that you’re busy!”

“Yeah-yeah, I’ve got this,” you say as the door closes behind him.

Wow, first dancing, now this. What are you doing to him? Levi doesn’t act like himself.

“Just trying to be supportive of him, that’s all,” you mumble, heading to the shower. “I’m ending the connection, okay? I doubt Levi would want you to be present on our kind-of-date.”

Please, you think I’m dying to see his pathetic attempts at flirting with you? I’d rather sleep, thank you very much.

“Good night, then.”

Night.

Once it’s time to go meet with Levi, you sneak out of your room, wearing a wetsuit that should protect you from cold water. But as you almost approach the exit, Asmo suddenly pops out of the corner.

“Hey~!” He muses and stops you with a devilish grin. “I know where you’re going. Levi told me everything. After some persuasion on my part, of course, but still.”

“Don’t tell me you gave him the same type of advice as you gave to Beel,” you sigh with a smile.

“No need to pretend that you didn’t enjoy Beel using my advice. My brothers tell me more than you think, Tiel.” Asmo chuckles and leans on the wall. “I tried to make it easier for you and consult Levi a bit. But he just closed his ears and started singing to block my beautiful voice.” Asmo shakes his head in disbelief. “So this time you’re on your own, honey. Though I still could consult you, if you want. I know Levi longer than you, after all.”

“You know, I think it’s something I need to deal with myself,” you smile at the demon and kiss his cheek. “But thank you. I’m grateful.”

“You better be. You’ll never find a more supportive boyfriend than me.” Asmo smiles, but he is waiting for your reaction. It’s the first time since that fiasco with Beel and Mammon someone decided to make your relationship official. Well, you also kind of agreed to be Solomon’s partner. Before he stabbed you in the back. And now it’s time for you to decide whether you want to have anything serious with Asmo. Though after everything you’ve endured together, how could you not want to date this demon?

“Yes, you’re the best boyfriend ever.” You kiss Asmo on the lips, catching a delighted chuckle that escapes him.

“That’s right. Now go get him, tiger.” The demon pushes you toward the exit, trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

You meet Levi right near the doors, waiting nervously for you, already in his demon form. You can only assume that it’s easier for him to swim around with his tail out.

“Hi!” He greets you clumsily, trying to seem more confident but failing miserably. “So, um… How good does our pact work? You won’t start drowning all of a sudden, right?”

“Only one way to find out. But I think it’ll be easier to activate if I touch you. Can I hold your hand?” You smirk and move your arm toward the demon, making him blush and grind his palms against his pants, trying to remove sweat.

“S-s-sure…” Levi whispers and desperately snatches your hand, breathing deeply. “W-we danced together, s-so hand-holding sh-should be noob-level, right?”

“That’s the spirit!” You nod and close your eyes, concentrating on the pact. It takes you a couple of tries, but eventually you feel the protective aura of Levi’s mark. “Let’s go.”

Levi is the one to lead the way, obviously, gently pulling you by the hand. You swim in silence, traversing coral reefs and open waters, and getting further away from the bright hotel.

Soon you reach the place where the bottom of the ocean crumbles into countless underwater caverns.

“It’s beautiful,” you say as your eyes wander between the breathtaking scenery and the demon in front of you. Levi looks especially good under the lights of the moon that shines through the water. It seems the moon in the Devildom is much more persistent than in the Human world. It manages to deliver its light even to such depths, allowing you to see the surroundings freely.

You get to the promised underwater grotto soon enough. The rocks around you look like they melted into all kinds of wavy forms, eventually creating mazes of passages that lead into the dark unknown.

Levi freely navigates the caverns, not letting go of your hand even for a second. It seems water helps him to keep his emotions under control; the demon is much calmer than he usually is in your presence. You get dragged by him deeper and deeper, but you don’t mind. You know that he would never leave you alone in this place, so you just put your trust in him and let him lead you into murky waters.

Eventually you reach the part of the caverns Levi wanted to show you. It’s a round, open space, surrounded by stalagmites and stalactites on its sides. The ceiling is absent, opening a spectacular view to the open waters above. The moon continues to shine through, sending rays of soft light through empty spaces between rocks and creating a light show of fragmented gleams that flutter with the movement of the current.

At the very center, on a single flat rock that sticks out from the ground, vaguely resembling a bench, you notice a pile of seaweed. Seeing as it covers the whole surface of the rock, you assume that Levi put it there in an attempt to make the seating a bit more comfortable.

Leviathan gently pulls you by the hand, leading you to the rock and settling on it. The demon nervously waits for you to join, so you sit right next to him, not letting go of his hand.

“So, um… Do you like it?” Levi doesn’t look at you, preferring to stare at one of the especially long stalagmites. You lean your head on his shoulder, making him freeze and stop breathing. Your hand gently squeezes his as your other arm slides over his back and grips his shoulder in a side hug, pulling him closer. You let yourself keep silent for a few moments, enjoying the demon’s warmth and the great view in front of you.

You finally raise your head and whisper in his ear, “It’s incredible, Levi. Thank you for showing this to me. I would never get a chance to see something so beautiful if not for you. Will you allow me to show you my gratitude?”

“W-what do you mean by that?!” Levi blushes and hides his face by covering it with his trembling hands.

“Sex.”

Levi screeches and instantly dashes to the other side of the cavern. He knocks over a couple of stalagmites and buries himself in the darkest corner behind the rocks. Only the cloud of dust and sand is left on the spot where he sat before.

“Y-y-you can’t j-just say it so shamelessly! I hate normies like you!”

“Did you bring me to this secluded, romantic place for something else then?” You smirk and look in the direction he’s supposed to be hiding. You think you see an outline of his horns, but maybe it’s just a strangely shaped seaweed.

“W-well… D-don’t make me admit s-such things aloud!”

Okay, so now you have a confirmation of Levi’s desires. But the problem is that his shyness holds back both of you. You sigh and rest your head on your hand. How to fuck a guy who starts screeching every time you touch him even remotely sexually? Maybe you should’ve consulted with Asmo…

A sudden warmth in the middle of your back catches you off guard. You’ve gotten used to the protective energy of Levi’s mark, but you didn’t expect to activate another pact. You did do something similar when you used Belphie’s and Cerbie’s pacts at the same time when you were kidnapped. You also used Belphie’s and Beel’s pacts during sex with Lucifer, so maybe you shouldn’t be surprised.

You feel heat in the place you’ve never felt it before. And judging by the spot of the mark, it must be…

Suddenly you feel the wave of desire and yearning that radiates from Levi’s hiding spot. Despite him being on the verge of death from embarrassment, he wants it just as much as you. Asmo’s pact shows it as clear as day.

You squint your eyes and focus harder on this new power. Slowly Levi’s desires start to take shape; you can almost sense the words on your tongue as you untangle his mess of emotions.

“A pat on the head”, “order me around”, “a tight hug”, “use and ruin me,” “praise me”, “assertive Cas is so cool”, “try out that pose from page 43 of ‘Virgin Knights: Time to Cross Swords!’”.

You focus on this mysterious pose from erotic manga, intrigued by it. After a while the words come to you. Mating press. Huh. You smirk and shake your head: you can’t even kiss the guy without him fainting. Something so high-level is too early to even dream about, let alone implement into real life.

Some of these desires are not like the others, but thanks to Asmo, you now have the general idea of Levi’s fantasies. But damn, this pact power is pure cheating. Beel mentioned that Asmo “senses others’ desires,” but you didn’t know it would be so literal. Is that what the Avatar of Lust can sense effortlessly?

You decide to focus on Levi instead of Asmo’s privacy-destroying powers. You knew for a long time that Levi gets way too flustered when you try to act gently with him. A bit of tough love worked wonders during your dancing lesson, so maybe you should use a similar tactic here.

“Levi,” you say firmly, trying to slip into the assertive mindset Levi apparently finds sexy. “Come here.” The waves of desire become a bit more visible as Levi hears your strict voice.

You lean back and take a relaxed pose as you wait for the demon to come out of hiding. After a couple of seconds, Levi slowly swims out of his cover, warily approaching you. He prefers to stare at the seabed under his feet, but at least he’s facing you.

“Look at me.” Another order; the demon clearly struggles with this one, but to your surprise, he does as you ask of him. Levi is trembling, and his hands are clasped together in a protective pose, but he’s doing his best. “Well done. Now, I’ll ask only one time: do you want this?”

Levi nods and shuts his eyes, unable to look you in the eyes any longer.

You rise to your feet. Water makes it hard for you to move like you did on land. All your movements end up being floaty and clumsy, but luckily you don’t have a demanding audience. Levi will think that you’re cool and dominant even if you trip and lose your footing in these murky waters.

“Lie down.” You point at the now vacant rock covered in seaweed. The demon climbs it immediately, lying down on his back and clenching his hands together on his chest. He didn’t open his eyes even for a second.

Levi lies in front of you like a virgin girl that is about to be sacrificed to a monster. You laugh silently at such a theatrical pose. At least you already got his consent, so you don’t have to feel bad for playing the monster.

You float closer and settle on the rock next to Levi’s legs. Your hand lands on his knee, caressing it in attempts to calm the demon a bit. Levi doesn’t get any more relaxed, but at least he stops shaking so violently.

Levi’s demon form is one of the sexiest ones in your book. The almost see-through top that lets you see the outline of Levi’s belly beneath the fabric. And suspenders that hug Levi’s hips and support his low-rise, skin-tight pants. The cropped hoodie adds another unnecessary layer, making your fingers twitch with desire to tear through all these clothes and unwrap your present.

You start with suspenders, swiftly unclipping them and opening the path to further undressing Levi. You decide to leave his hoodie on, hoping that it will make the demon feel more comfortable and safer. But you can’t hold back from raising the see-through top and planting a kiss on Levi’s belly. The demon squeals and twists from side to side, but your firm hand on his chest stops him.

“Levi, I can’t do anything if you keep squirming around. You can make any noises you want, but I want you to lie as still as possible.”

Levi hiccups from overwhelming emotions, but he manages to give you a nod. Your hand raises from his chest and moves to his hair, ruffling it. His hair feels even softer and lighter underwater.

After Levi calms down a bit, you move back to planting kisses on his stomach. The demon trembles harder with each smooch, but at least he doesn’t squirm as much as before. You slowly make your way down, approaching the pants. You smirk into Levi’s skin as you notice that the fabric barely holds in the demon’s growing erection.

Your fingers unzip his pants, and you hear another ungodly screech somewhere above, but you choose to ignore it. After a quick unbuttoning and pulling the pants down together with his underwear, you finally get to see the most personal part of Levi’s body.

To your brief disappointment, there is only one cock, not two as you expected. But the one that is present is extremely cute. You’ve never used the word “cute” to describe dicks before, but Levi’s is objectively adorable. It may not have an impressive size, but its pink texture and the way it curls upward make you want to taste it. Levi’s cock is already pulsating before you move anywhere close to it, begging for attention.

You lean closer, your face inches away from it. But you stop as you feel an attentive gaze and raise your head to meet it. Levi’s orange eyes shine brightly in the darkness of the ocean. Despite his shyness, he watches your movements, biting his lip to contain needy whimpers. You smirk and wink at him, lowering your head, ready to mercilessly gulp down the whole length in one go.

But as your lips barely touch the pink shaft, white liquid shoots out of it. You mindlessly watch as Levi’s cum floats away to the side, taken by the currents of the ocean. You have to suppress laughter; the poor demon is already embarrassed as it is. He’s covering his face with his arms, and all you can hear are his muffled whines.

“I’m s-so sorry…” Levi mumbles, curling into a ball and hiding his exposed cock between his legs and stomach.

“For what? I take it as a compliment,” you smile and lie down next to him, hugging the demon from behind. The rock is not wide enough for two grown men, so you have to press yourself against the demon really close to avoid falling off. “You understandably got excited, don’t worry about it.”

“You calming me down makes me feel even worse…” Levi groans.

“Yeah?” You lean closer, pressing your erection against Levi’s backside. The whining immediately stops. “Then how about I squeeze another orgasm out of you? But this time you’re not allowed to come until I say so.”

Levi has to gather his thoughts before he can answer you. But eventually you see a timid nod, which makes you grin victoriously.

You rise from the rock and start dragging the demon upward, toward the open ceiling and the moon shining through it. Levi pulls his pants up and follows you. You may not swim as gracefully as the demon, but you get high enough for your liking, and that’s what matters. You stop and hover in the middle of the grotto. There is nothing you can hold on to except for the demon in your arms. You both have to cling to each other to keep balance and not float away. But as the time goes on, you find the right rhythm and adjust to the current, floating together.

Levi holds you tightly, scared to let you go for even a moment. You both are aware that you are near useless underwater, so separating would be too dangerous. You exploit Levi’s worries by wrapping your arms and legs around him, completely trapping the demon in your embrace.

Your body slides slowly against his, needily grinding and teasing the sensitive spots. Chest to chest, hips to hips, it doesn’t take long to reignite the fire inside Levi. He shivers and clings as close as possible, whimpering into your ear. You reward his openness with light kisses on his forehead and cheeks. He doesn’t pull away. The previous orgasm took away some of his shyness and fighting energy, so now he’s fully yours to use.

Your hand firmly grabs Levi’s chin and turns his face to you, and you wait till he opens his shining eyes. You wordlessly explain your intentions to him, leaning closer and letting him sense the vague warmth of your lips on his. His breath hitches as he waits for the contact, but it doesn’t happen. He stares at you quizzically, begging you to stop teasing him.

“Kiss me,” you command, forcing him to briefly take the initiative. The demon shudders at the sound of your voice; his gaze becomes hazy and unfocused. He follows your order, making the last step and connecting his lips with yours. The saltiness of water mixes with Levi’s natural taste as you immediately deepen the kiss. Levi yelps but doesn’t pull away, letting you explore his mouth with your tongue.

He melts in your arms as your hips start to jerk against his groin with more force. Your wetsuit doesn’t allow for much freedom with undressing, but you’ll make do. Your floating position in the middle of the ocean without any support doesn’t allow for anything advanced anyway, so you press yourself against your demon, chasing release.

Levi tries to match your movements, wrapping around your body like a snake. It’s hard to tell where his body ends and yours starts as you both drown in each other. Levi’s tail slithers along your back as his hands desperately cling onto your arms. Your fingers end up entangled in Levi’s hair once again, while your other hand clenches Levi’s butt, forcing him to stay in place while you grind your cock on his crotch.

Levi whimpers every time your dick slides on top of his erection. Wet stains start appearing on his pants as you slide up and down, gradually losing the stable tempo. At this point you’re just ramming Levi’s groin, sensing the proximity of your release. The demon doesn’t protest against such rough handling, moaning your name into your never-ending kiss.

Levi becomes restless as his cock heats up with the need to burst, but he clenches his hips in attempts to stop himself from coming. As you sense your demon becoming stone-hard from exertion, you smirk into the kiss.

“Good boy,” you murmur and hear a breathless whimper in response. The demon clenches around you so tightly that your bones start to hurt, but you enjoy every second of it. “You can come.”

Immediately as Levi hears these words, you feel the quickly spreading warmness inside his pants. Your own cock feels every pulsation of Levi’s orgasm, which sends goosebumps across your body. You greedily drink up every single moan and tremble of the demon, allowing yourself to finally join him in bliss.  

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

I thought there’s no use getting, into heavy petting,
It only leads to trouble and, seat wetting,
Now all I want to know, is how to go,
I've tasted blood and I want more (more, more, more)
I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance,
I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance,

Toucha, toucha, toucha, touch me,
I wanna be dirty,
thrill me, chill me, fullfill me,
Creature of the night

Richard O'brien - Touch-A-Touch-A-Touch-A-Touch Me

“Shut up, you insufferable, supercilious prick!”

“One more word and you’ll be locked up in your hotel room for the rest of the vacation.”

You slowly open your eyes and yawn, lazily turning from one side of the bed to the other. You can hear Satan and Lucifer arguing through the walls of Diavolo’s underwater hotel. They sure are loud for such early hours of the morning. At this point, you’re used to their quarrels, so their voices are more of a white noise that almost drifts you off back to sleep.

After your very productive date with Levi, you both returned to the hotel in the middle of the night. The demon couldn’t look at you after your bodies stopped slithering against each other. He even attempted to flee, almost leaving you inside the underwater caverns in the middle of the ocean. Luckily, Levi came to his senses and escorted you back, but he escaped to his room the moment you reached the hotel.

You suspect that you won’t see him the whole day. The poor guy needs to process a lot of things. But as much as you pity him, you’re still proud that you managed to finally get laid with your nerd. A victorious smile spreads across your face as your arms stretch upward, getting rid of the pleasant tension in your muscles.

Your lazy morning is interrupted by the sounds of explosions. It seems the disagreement between Satan and Lucifer reached its final phase. You can only sigh, crawl out of bed and head to take a shower, hoping that the raging demons won’t blow up the walls of your bathroom.

By the time you finish your morning routine, the conflict dies down without any casualties. There are some minor destructions in the hall and corridors of the hotel, but nothing too critical.

You use the magical bubble to rise to the beach. As it bursts open, you immediately feel the heat of the sun on your skin and a pleasant breeze. Being underwater is cool, but you missed fresh air.

Some people are already here. Asmo teaches Solomon, Luke, and Simeon how to do sup yoga. They stand on paddleboards, doing yoga poses with different levels of success. Asmo and Simeon are pretty proficient in both keeping balance and utilizing their core strength to do difficult poses, while Solomon and Luke fight for their dear lives. But once they notice that you’re watching them, they stop complaining and focus on Asmo’s lesson.

Mammon teams up with Beel to look for crabs and rare, valuable shells. As expected, each of them has their own preferences, but they still work as a team, digging through the sand at impressive speed. Mammon gives you a beautiful spiky seashell, blushing and mumbling something about a gift. Beel hands you a small green crab, so now you have a pet. After watching it crawling around on your hand, you release it into the wild, as far from Beel as possible. If the little fella is lucky, Beel won’t catch it for the second time.

In a more relaxed corner of the beach, Diavolo drinks cocktails with Barbatos and annoyed Lucifer, sitting at a picnic table with an umbrella. The prince assures you that the cocktails are alcohol-free since it’s still early morning, so you share a glass as well.

“So, what’s up with Satan?” you ask as you sip a fruit cocktail that Barbatos prepared for you within seconds. Lucifer just grunts in response, gulping down his drink.

“Don’t worry, nothing too serious,” Diavolo replies with a shiny smile. “Lucifer was checking on him, which Satan didn’t appreciate.”

“Maybe you should give him more space,” you shrug at Lucifer. “It’s not the first time Satan asks not to treat him like a child.”

“Why am I not surprised that you are taking his side?” Lucifer rolls his eyes and sighs in disappointment. “If I left him to his own devices, he would be stuck in his hotel room reading books.”

“I don’t see a problem. Levi also stayed in the hotel for now.”

“Levi is not here?” Lucifer looks around more attentively and rises to his feet. “Excuse me for a moment, I need to force my dungeon-dwelling brother out of his cave.”

“Hey.” You rise as well and stop Lucifer by gently wrapping your fingers around his arm. He cocks his brow, letting you hold him in place. “Let him be. You don’t need to watch over everybody, it’s your vacation as well.”

“I’d rather make sure to avoid any disasters than let my guard down and let my brothers ruin the vacation for everybody else. And it’ll be much easier to control them if they are all in one place.” The demon frowns and tenses, but your hand softly caresses his arm, making him calmer. “Besides, it’s a family trip. We don’t have them often. Satan and Levi can be holed up in their rooms any time they want, but they are missing out on a valuable time at the beach.”

“Let them.” You smile as your hand slides on Lucifer’s back, almost in a side hug. “Everybody has their own ways to have fun. If they regret wasting their time afterward, that’s on them. Maybe they’ll appreciate their next trip more. Kick back and relax, Lucy. The world won’t end if you take a day off.”

“I completely agree with Castiel.” Barbatos joins the conversation as well, hiding his smile behind a glass. “You should take a break once in a while.”

“I don’t want to hear anything about breaks from you, Barbatos.” Lucifer lets out a deep sigh of disbelief. “Apply your own advice to yourself first.”

“Oh, I’m indulging in breaks regularly,” Barbatos smiles politely. “Just because you don’t witness it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.”

“See? Even Barbatos is taking it easy.” You lead Lucifer back to the table and gently stuff him back into his chair. “Sit back, drink some more, play chess, solve some crosswords… Or whatever old farts like you are supposed to do.”

“Oh no, we’ve been demoted to ‘old farts’,” Diavolo smirks, eyeing the chessboard that is lying on the table, waiting for a match between the prince and Lucifer. “But I indeed like chess…”

“Chess is a very respectable game, and you slandering it just shows how immature you are.” Lucifer crosses his arms, looking genuinely offended.

“Crosswords are also quite enjoyable,” Barbatos smiles softly at you.

“Which proves my point: everybody has fun in their own way. So, Lucifer, sit tight and let others have their fun however they want.” You pat Lucifer’s shoulder and slowly walk away. “I’ll go look around the island. I’ve never seen jungles before.”

“Have fun!” Diavolo waves at you energetically.

“Don’t cause any problems,” Lucifer warns you with a hidden threat behind his words.

“All the fruits that grow around here are edible, so feel free to try them if you find some,” Barbatos suggests, refilling the glasses with cocktails.

You make your way toward exotic trees, squeezing between the giant leaves of numerous colorful plants that sprout from the ground. Knowing Diavolo and Barbatos, they already checked the whole island for any potential threats to your well-being, so you fearlessly touch unknown flowers and herbs that could be poisonous.

The whole jungle is full of colors, and soon it gets a bit overwhelming. There are no definitive paths through the dense woods, so you make your way through thick bushes and lianas. You slightly lose your sense of direction, but soon you hear a thudding noise. You notice the shaking of the trees in the distance, as if something is colliding with them with huge force. Given that you don’t have any weapons on you, you carefully approach the source of the suspicious sound.

You find Satan, banging on the trees in frustration. Lucifer is not the only one who is grumpy after their morning fight. You watch the demon from behind the bushes that hide your body. It’s a rare chance to see one of the Rulers in action, even if the only things Satan fights are trees.

The demon doesn’t exhibit monstrous strength like Beel or the fabled speed of Mammon. But there is a certain agility to his movements, they are more refined than any of his brothers’. Satan’s fighting style is much closer to Lucifer’s. Still, the eldest prefers to strike elegantly even when he is enraged, while Satan’s hits are sharper and more ferocious.

“Enjoying the show?” Satan says as another tree falls to the ground with a deafening noise. He managed to break quite a few trees before you got here, so now there is an open space where he stands, surrounded by the remains of the plants. His green eyes unmistakably find you among the leaves. “You are not as sneaky as you think you are.”

“Just admiring your deforestation skills.” You step into the open area, avoiding all the debris. “How’s your violent episode? Calmed down yet?”

“Not quite,” Satan sighs and comes closer, demonstrating bright-green flickers in his eyes. “I don’t have Levi’s game on me, so I have to ruin the landscape. I’ve been at it for about an hour, but I still feel like I can snap any moment.”

Satan’s fists twitch with the desire to punch someone. His forehead is covered in cold sweat from trying to suppress his emotions and not hurt you. The beast is trying to contain himself, but he is very close to losing control.

A familiar warmth of Beel’s pact fills your body as your fist punches Satan’s face, making him fly backward. He crashes into the giant tree, leaving a deep hole in its trunk with his body. The demon grunts and gets on his feet. His eyes are glowing with green light as he transforms into his demon form. Curled horns, sharp claws, and a spiky tail sprout from his body as he saunters closer to you. Satan slowly licks his lips and long fangs as his mouth fills with saliva at the sight of the opponent he can tear apart.

Well, there is no way back. You want to help him to let out his wrath, but you would also prefer to survive this encounter. You toss your seashell into bushes, fearing to crash it during a fight, and start thinking about your strategy. Using Cerberus’ fires would be dangerous for both Satan and the jungles around, so you have to rely on Beel’s pact more than ever. The problem is that you are a glass cannon at the moment. Your attacking power is very high, but you can’t afford to take a single serious hit from the claws or this sawtooth tail. So you concentrate on punching Satan as soon as he reaches you, while trying to activate Mammon’s pact, which will help you dodge.

Satan grins menacingly and rushes to you, readying the claws for an attack. You try to sidestep to get a better angle for a punch, but Satan’s tail immediately slithers around your legs, leaving deep scratches and pulling you toward the demon. You lose your balance and fall on your back, meeting a few sharp pieces of wood with your spine. Satan dives at you, aiming his fingers at your chest, but you kick him in the stomach, punching out the air from his lungs. The demon stumbles and bends over, allowing you to raise your upper body and strike his head.

You notice his tail releasing your leg just in time to roll to the side, escaping its grip on your neck. You jump on your feet, finally feeling the heat of Mammon’s pact. Now you have more chances to dodge.

“Nimble little shit,” Satan laughs hoarsely; his voice is much more demonic and monstrous than usual. His gentlemanly demeanor always changes when he’s raging, but right now he looks straight up feral. “But you can’t run forever.”

“Then come and get me, scaredy-cat.” The nickname from long ago makes the demon smirk. You have only a moment to react: one second, he stands right in front of you; the next, he jumps in the air, bouncing straight at you. You dodge by spinning on one leg to the side and stopping your momentum right behind Satan’s back. His tail shoots at you instantly, grabbing your left arm and torso. But you manage to hit the back of his head with your free hand, making Satan snarl.

His head snaps back to you, his pupils shrink into narrow slits as the tail squeezes you tighter, piercing your skin and drawing blood. You hear Satan’s victorious growl as he pulls his tail and makes you fall once again.

Satan swiftly climbs on top of your body, pinning your hands to the ground with his tail. The spikes stab your arms dangerously close to the veins. You’re trapped, but you still have strength to fight. With Beel’s pact, there is a chance that if you jerk forward hard enough, you’ll be able to break free.

But as you’re about to start struggling, you notice that Satan doesn’t attack. He sits on you silently, staring at your face with glowing eyes. Then, he leans forward, digging his claws into the ground next to your head, and raises his head, exposing his neck.

You try to understand what the beast wants from you. The vulnerable, pale skin is completely open, but you can’t use your hands to…

The realization suddenly comes to you. Satan copied the finale of the fight you had with now dead Lizard. They pinned you to the ground in the same manner, ready to bite you with their venomous teeth. So you had to bite them first. In the neck.

You recall Satan being a fan of this moment. He watched recordings of that combat many times, praising you for ferocious fighting style. But he doesn’t actually want you to bite him, right?

The impatient grumble starts to build up in Satan’s throat as he leans even closer to you. He digs one of his hands out of the ground and grips the back of your head with his claws, wounding your scalp. He forcefully raises your head, pulls it closer, and squashes your face against his neck, almost breaking your nose. You are now breathing right into his pale skin, feeling his smell and deep, nervous gulps.

Your spine hurts from an uncomfortable pose, your arms are still pinned to the ground far behind your back, making you twist your shoulder blades backward. You let out an irritated huff. Satan shivers as he feels your hot breath on him. The restless grumble vibrates inside his neck, urging you to act.

You decide to turn off your head and just do what he asks, blocking any traumatic memories about the awful gurgling sounds and taste of blood before they even appear in your head. Your teeth sink into soft flesh. Satan’s growl becomes softer as he feels your bite.

But even with the help of Beel’s pact, you can’t foster enough strength to actually injure the demon. With Lizard it was an actual life-or-death situation, so you couldn’t afford to dwell on your actions. Right now, you’re still not sure what exactly is going on, but the circumstances are entirely different.

You manage to make the Avatar of Wrath bleed just a bit, but it’s enough to satisfy him. Satan’s growling starts to sound much closer to purring the deeper you bite him. A few drops of blood land on your tongue, teasing it with sweetness and spiciness.

“More…” Satan grunts, pressing you closer.

…

“That’s enough.” You hear Barbatos’ voice through the red mist that filled your mind. His hand lands on your shoulder, dragging you back into reality. You slowly turn to him, noticing that you’re standing. Weren’t you pinned to the ground just a second ago? Your body aches from numerous wounds and bruises. You don’t remember how you got them. Your fight with Satan wasn’t nearly as violent to end up with so many injuries.

“Fuck…” You wince as the adrenaline wears off and the pain takes its place. Your eyes search for Satan, finding him lying on the ground.

The demon looks like he was mauled by a tiger, judging by the wounds that are much worse than yours. Both of Satan’s horns are cracked. His right arm is sticking out unnaturally, the broken bones protrude out of the skin covered in blood. One of the green eyes is completely absent. You get nauseous as you see it lying on the ground next to him.

You are about to rush to him, but you freeze as you examine the look on his face. The demon looks like he is in complete bliss.

“Satan?” You call him with uncertainty in your voice. The demon’s only eye instantly snaps to you as he slowly rises from the ground. His wounds already start to heal. “What happened?”

“I always knew that you were wild, but you surprised even me,” Satan chuckles softly.

“Did I do this?...” You mumble, looking back at Barbatos.

“You were under the influence of something,” he replies calmly, gripping your shoulder tighter to show support. “I found you both rolling on the ground, fighting like animals. I think I cleansed something, but I’m not sure what it was. Do you recall anything that could be the source of your strange behavior?”

Thump thump. Thump thump.

“I’m not sure… Fuck, it’s starting again.” You wince, but this time not from pain. As usual, your heart starts racing and your body begins to heal at an alarming pace, even faster than Satan’s. “Barbatos, so you detect something now? What is healing me?”

“I don’t detect anything.” The demon watches your healing body without a single trace of concern. “But whatever this is, I don’t think you should worry about it. Isn’t it useful that something helps you out?”

“No, it’s not. Something is taking over the autonomy of my body. It’s creepy.” You shake off Barbatos’ hand from your shoulder, creating distance. Of course, he doesn’t understand. He is so powerful that you doubt he ever felt threatened in his entire existence.

“…I see.” Barbatos tries to be polite and create an illusion that he understands your point of view, but you know for a fact that it will never happen.

“Satan,” you say, turning to the almost fully healed demon, eyeing him with suspicion. “Do you know what happened? Why did I go all berserk?”

“No idea,” Satan replies earnestly. He is a pretty good actor, but somehow you believe that he isn’t responsible for whatever happened. “Personally, I don’t agree with Barbatos’ opinion that you were under some influence. Maybe it looked abnormal for a bystander, but you just let your inner beast out. You finally let yourself be who you are deep down, even if for a few minutes. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

You listen to your body. It feels lighter, but you’re not sure whether it’s from fighting with Satan or the strange healing. The vague memories of your rampage slowly return to you, and despite all the gore and violence, you remember feeling good in the moment. Hell, you don’t even feel bad right now. Your conscience is pacified by the fact that Satan didn’t sustain any long-lasting injuries. He was more than happy to suffer your wrath. And he messed you up as well in retaliation. You frown as you realize that Satan is actually right: you feel strange satisfaction after letting out your ‘dark side’.

Well, you were the one who said that everybody has fun in different ways. Maybe it’s just your kind of fun. This whole situation still creeps you out, but since neither Satan nor Barbatos can give you any answers, you doubt that you can figure anything out right now. You just mentally add inexplicable violent episodes to the long list of your quirks and leave this mystery for another day.

Satan walks past you with pep in his step.

“I think I’ll go and hang out with my brothers. It’s a family trip, after all.” He says, unknowingly repeating Lucifer’s words. He turns his head at you and winks with a newly grown green eye. “Let’s do this again sometime.” And he saunters away, leaving you and Barbatos alone in the jungle.

“Well, he sure seems cheerful after getting his eye ripped out…” You mumble, struggling to fully comprehend what just happened. You shake your head and turn to the butler. “What are you even doing here? Aren’t you supposed to drink with Diavolo and Lucifer?”

“Young Master and Lucifer are both deeply engrossed in their game of chess. So I took my leave and decided to indulge my own desire. It wasn’t hard to find you with how loud your fight was.” Barbatos replies without missing a beat.

“Your own desire?...”

“Spending time with you.” The demon says as a matter of fact. This man is capable of saying the strangest things with a straight face.

“Huh…” You scratch the back of your head, once again not understanding what is going on. Is he hitting on you, or is he’s just a bit awkward when it comes to casual conversations? Fuck that, you’re tired of mysteries. “Hey, are you flirting with me?”

If Barbatos is baffled by your straightforwardness, he doesn’t show it. If anything, he looks entertained.

“Yes.”

You tilt your head, staring him in the eyes. “You’re just pulling my leg, aren’t you?”

Barbatos tilts his head to the side in the same manner, copying your pose. “No, I am not.”

“Wanna fuck?”

You finally get a hint of reaction. Barbatos’ mask breaks for a moment as his lips twitch in an amused smirk, but he quickly restores his polite expression.

“I would prefer to go on a couple of dates first. I am rather old-fashioned when it comes to such things.” Barbatos bows, offering you his hand. “In fact, I would like to invite you on a date right now. How do you feel about a boat ride around the island? I’ve been told that I am rather skilled with oars.”

“Sure,” you snicker and take his hand.

***

“These sandwiches are amazing!” You praise Barbatos, munching on the stuff he somehow prepared for your date. The demon’s arms work steadily as he rows the boat, taking you far away from the coast. The ocean splashes loudly around you, hitting your boat with low waves. Droplets of salt water land on your skin, but they get quickly dried away by a soft breeze. Barbatos keeps the boat steady, allowing you to kick back and relax on your seat.

“You can take more if you want,” the butler suggests, summoning another bag full of treats. “I got a bit excited and overprepared, so feel free to indulge.”

“Don’t mind if I do!” You simply can’t say no to Barbatos’ cooking. The butler watches you with a warm smile as you eat yet another sandwich. “Are you sure you don’t want some?”

“I’m perfectly fine as it is, simply enjoy your meal.”

After a while, your stomach finally gets full enough. You look around, noticing that you can barely see the island on the horizon. Barbatos took you all the way to the open water. Blue waters and blue sky are all that surround your little boat. It feels like you’re drifting in the middle of an endless azure and aquamarine void. You can only imagine how it would be if there was a night sky above you instead.

Barbatos lets go of the oars, leaning closer to you. His turquoise hair and green clothes almost make him seem like he is inseparable from the scenery, like he is one with both the ocean and the sky.

“I prepared a gift for you,” Barbatos whispers to you, letting the breeze carry his words. “But I want to ask you to keep it secret from everybody.”

“Is it so important that you had to take me all the way here just to make sure that nobody is eavesdropping?”

“I did want to show you the marvel of the endless ocean.” Barbatos lets his gaze wander for a second, admiring the flickering waves. “But yes, I also wanted to make sure that we are completely alone.”

“Okay, I’ll make sure to keep my mouth shut.”

“Thank you.” Barbatos smiles softly and summons a little, long box into his hands. “Please accept this gift.” You carefully take the mysterious box and open it.

It’s a dagger. It has the same shape as the blade you always carry around for self-defense. So this dagger will fit nicely into your sheath. But the strange thing about this thing is the material it’s made of. The glass of its blade almost blinds you as the sun reflects in it. A glass dagger is not a weapon you’ve used before, metal is much more reliable than any other material. You’ll be afraid to break this blade, so even if it looks cool, you’ll have to use it as a decorative object.

“Thank you!” You smile genuinely, barely feeling the weight of the dagger. There is no heaviness to it, as if you’re holding a little needle. “I guess my love for knives is rather obvious at this point. It’s a wonderful gift.”

“I’m glad you like it.” The demon stares at the blade in your hands, as if unsure whether he should actually give it to you. “But now I need you to listen very carefully about the nature of this dagger.”

You nod, feeling the shift of the wind. Cold air starts playing with your hair, making you shudder from sudden chilliness.

“I forged it myself. This dagger is made from a little piece of a powerful artifact that you encountered before, the Collector of Souls.”

You almost drop the blade, losing the strength of your grip. This damn mirror. The mirror that killed you. And now you’re holding one of its pieces. A fear crawls into your heart, making you unable to look at the dagger in your hands. You don’t want to see your reflection on it ever again.

“Did you destroy it?” you ask huskily.

“I did. This is the only piece that remains.” Barbatos’ hand lands on top of the dagger, sliding on your clenched fist. His fingers gently caress your hand as he holds your scared gaze. Guilt fights with tenderness in his eyes. The demon lets you see the burden he carried ever since you died and were brought back to life. “It won’t hurt you ever again, I swear. I was hoping that by turning it into a weapon, I would stop it from haunting you. Now the Collector of Souls serves you.”

“I… appreciate the sentiment.” You let out a deep sigh, gripping the dagger tighter.

“As you are aware,” the demon continues, “the Collector of Souls entrapped souls within it, as long as no spells intervened into the process. This dagger works similarly. However, it doesn’t snare souls through reflections any more. Instead, you need to pierce someone’s heart for it to work. As soon as it happens, the target doesn’t die, but their soul is captured inside this blade. Be warned that it can only hold three souls at once.”

“Hold on,” you stop another atrocious info-dump; Barbatos seems to love those. The demon obediently falls silent, letting you think everything through. “I can’t accept it. It’s way too overpowered. Look,” you lean closer to Barbatos to emphasize the importance of your words, “I’m not some kind of maniac that will run around with this thing, capturing demons left and right. But we both know that I’m still unreliable. I blacked out and beat the shit out of Satan just an hour ago; something creepy is healing my body, and who the fuck knows what this ‘something’ is capable of doing next; and I just recently murdered someone! I’m not sure if I can trust myself at this point.”

“I’m glad that you understand the importance of this artifact.” Barbatos gives you a reassuring smile. “But I wouldn’t give it to you if I wasn’t sure that you can handle such responsibility. Besides, there are a few limitations that make this dagger more difficult to use. While it can capture the soul of any creature, any shielding or healing spell will not allow it to function properly, like it was with you. So, you must strike someone’s heart suddenly and swiftly, not allowing the target to conjure any protection.”

“Hm…” Your fingers cup your chin as you ponder the powers of the dagger. It will be tricky to use it on someone powerful, they can summon a shield within moments if you’re not careful. And striking someone straight into the heart is not as easy as it seems. So all in all, this thing is useless in proper combat. It’s a weapon for stealthy attacks, which may come in handy in some circumstances.

“Now, the most important part.” Barbatos’ fingers slide along the blade as he looks at his own reflection in it. “This dagger doesn’t kill anyone, simply steals their souls. Of course, bodies without souls will immediately start to rot. But if you’re quick and return the soul back to its body within a minute, the spirit will attach itself to the body without any issues. If you ever need to release a soul out of the dagger, you need to shatter the blade.”

“Which will release every soul that was trapped there, right?” You get a confirmative nod. “And I assume that will also destroy the dagger?”

“Correct. You will never be able to use it again.”

“This thing can only hold three souls… So I only have three uses…” You mumble as you examine the dagger, twisting it in your hand. You now have the power to trap someone’s soul. Potentially, it could be permanent. You sigh heavily and hide the dagger back in the box. “Okay, thank you for such a powerful gift. But I have to be honest: I doubt I’ll ever use it. Imprisoning someone’s soul for eternity is kind of fucked up. Even death is better than that.”

“It’s up to you how to use it. My personal preference would be if you carried it on your person and used it only in dire situations for self-defense. But it is yours now. So use it as you see fit.” Barbatos’ fingers brush away a stray hair from your forehead, gently sliding along your heated skin. You mindlessly lean into the touch, seeking a bit of comfort. “I must say, I admire your dedication to preserving one’s freedom, both yours and other creatures’.”

“I’m trying to live up to my ideals, but it’s hard sometimes.”

“Would you say that freedom is the most important thing to you?”

“Y-…” You stop yourself, realizing that you’re not so sure about the answer anymore. It was true your whole life, your personal well-being and freedom were above everything else. But something changed when you got to the Devildom. You now have so many people you care about. If there was a choice between your freedom and their safety, what would you choose? You can’t give a definitive answer. “I don’t know.”

“I see.” Barbatos’ fingers slide lower, caressing your cheek. His touch is very light and careful, you barely feel it. If you close your eyes, you can almost mistake it for a breeze. Your hand lands on top of Barbatos’, pressing it closer to your skin. Your face slightly rubs against the demon’s hand, feeling its tenderness. Barbatos’ breath hitches a bit, and you can’t hide a proud smile. The demon stares at you, there is something heated in his gaze. Possessive. “If you don’t have an answer to that question, do you mind another? What do you think about a hypothetical ‘gilded cage’ situation? If you somehow found your freedom restricted in exchange for having all your possible needs and desires met, what would you feel?”

“Oh, I’d be very pissed off.” You smirk, staring back at the demon with defiance in your eyes. “Happiness for me is not about having everything I want. It’s about moving forward, overcoming obstacles, reaching goals. If I give up all that and get everything on a silver platter, what’s the point? I could never be happy and content without being in control of my life, no matter how bad I am at being a decent person. As long as I make my own choices, make progress, change, and develop, I’m free.”

“I see,” Barbatos slowly repeats for the third time. He blinks away the strange heat from his gaze, returning to his usual self. “This insatiable thirst for life is one of your most admirable qualities. Such passion fascinates me. Please know that I’ll do anything to support this fire within you. You can always rely on my help. With anything.”

“Don’t worry, I know.” Now it’s your turn to smile reassuringly, patting the ancient demon on the back. “Even if we sometimes struggle to understand each other, I know that your heart is in the right place. I trust you.” Barbatos’ gaze darts downward, stopping at your torso for a moment. But he immediately looks up, smiling back at you.

“I appreciate your kind words.”

The waves suddenly start rising as you hear a strange sound. Like something massive is sneaking up on you, pushing through water. You swiftly turn around to meet a giant wall of metal, slowly sliding past you. Your boat doesn’t collide with the sudden obstacle only because Barbatos quickly grabs the oars and rows away, escaping the crash.

You look up, recognizing that this wall of metal is actually a giant cruise ship. Its white form towers above you like an iceberg, slowly making its way toward the island.

“How did it sneak up on us?!” You ask, finally catching your breath after a sudden fright.

“Young Master made a barrier somewhere around here, separating the sunlit beach and part of the ocean from more dangerous and dark waters. The downside of this is that you can’t see anything through the barrier, so we haven’t noticed the ship till it breached Young Master’s magic.” Barbatos looks much calmer than you, steadily leading the boat back to the shore. “I’m afraid we have to cut our date short. This ship wouldn’t be able to arrive here without Young Master’s approval. I suspect it is one of his usual surprises. Let us see what he is up to this time.”

***

“Surprise!” Diavolo smiles widely as he spreads his arms, showing off a giant ship behind his back. “This is our ride home! We still have time, so you can continue relaxing on the beach. But please be ready to board the ship in a couple of hours. Since Lucifer asked me to be more mindful about the amount of time we spend on our retreats, this time I’ll return you home by Sunday evening. So you’ll have plenty of time for your homework and other chores!”

“Hooray…” Mammon’s enthusiasm dies down as soon as Diavolo mentions homework.

“Oh, please tell me there is a spa on this ship!” Asmo chirps excitedly. “I was so shocked when I didn’t find any in the hotel.”

“Yes, it was a big oversight on my part,” Diavolo smiles apologetically. “When it comes to entertainment, both the beach and the hotel have a long way to go. But I think I now have a better understanding of what I should add next.”

While everybody was running around, packing your bags, you simply stuffed your clothes, the seashell, and the dagger into your backpack and hurried to the beach. You’ve spent very little time swimming in the ocean, so you attempt to fix this mistake. You feel pretty confident in the water, so you risk swimming a bit further without supervision. But as you start to feel tired and decide to head back, someone’s hands gently grab you, helping you float on the water.

“Are you okay?” Levi’s head pops to the water surface. His orange eyes inspect you intently. “I was swimming underneath but noticed that your movements became kinda sluggish.”

“Yeah, I just need more practice,” you say, leaning on the demon for support. “Were you hiding underwater the whole day?”

“No, I was hiding in my room, actually. But I heard that we’re leaving soon, so I decided to come out,” Levi replies, blushing as he remembers why he was hiding in the first place. “S-so, um, h-how are you?”

“Quite good, actually. Finally managed to get my hands on a very handsome demon.” You smile teasingly, turning Levi’s supportive grip into a hug. Your hands shamelessly wander along the demon’s slim body, making him squeak.

“O-oh… Y-you don’t mean that you think that I’m…”

“I mean exactly that,” you chuckle, squeezing him in your embrace. “I’m glad that you returned to me. I missed you.”

“S-stop with all th-this romantic nonsense… You’re like a protagonist of some harem manga. H-how can you say such things so openly?!” Levi hides his face in embarrassment.

“It’s easy when you’re just saying what’s on your mind. Try it.” You nudge the shy demon, having fun at his expense. He hisses in annoyance, but obeys.

“You-you’re… If you were a unit in a gacha game, you’d be UR+++.” Levi masters all his strength to come up with a compliment, only to meet your confused stare. “It means you’re unique, okay?! Very rare, one of a kind, special, get it?!” He screeches in embarrassment, making you giggle and smooch his cheek.

“Okay, got it. Thank you, Levi.” A disgustingly wide smile spreads across your face. It seems everything is fine and you didn’t traumatize him during his first sex.

“Hey!” Satan calls you from the shore, waving his hand. “Get over here, lovebirds! It’s time to go!”

“Satan is so cheerful today, it creeps me out,” Levi winces and starts swimming to the beach with you on his back. “He was arguing with Lucifer just this morning, and now he shines like he discovered a hidden library, or something. Wonder what happened.”

“Yeah,” you reply absentmindedly, turning your face toward the sun. You won’t see it again anytime soon.

***

“Wow…” A collective expression of awe escapes everyone’s lips as you all look around at the kaleidoscope of colors that surround you. The cruise ship is full of entertainment for everybody, so it’s hard to choose something in particular. After a quick discussion, it was decided that everybody will choose one place each, where everybody will go collectively.

Mammon picked a casino, to no one’s surprise. He even manages to win a bit of money, while Diavolo suddenly wins a jackpot. The prince laughs it off and returns the money back to the casino, to the horror of the Avatar of Greed. You have to cheer him up with a couple of games of blackjack, where you allowed him to cheat and win several times in a row.

Asmo leads everyone to the spa, where you get the second-best massage of your life. The best one you got in Asmo’s bathtub way back then. You barely move after such intense relaxation, so Solomon leads everyone to the pool. Some people stay in the water, lazily floating around, but Luke leads the most active ones, including you, to water slides. All the splashing around makes you all hungry, so Barbatos takes you to the buffet area. Nothing can compare to his cooking, but the dishes are still delicious.

After that, Beel takes you all to the movie theater, where you watch a live stream of a fangol game. You don’t understand anything that is going on on the screen, but you cheer whenever Beel cheers and have fun munching on popcorn. After that Simeon leads you to the regular theater, to watch some musical. At first, you are a bit confused why the antagonist is wearing lingerie and the audience throws toilet paper and toasts at the stage, but soon you soak up the atmosphere and enjoy the show to its fullest.

When it’s your turn to offer the next place to visit, you ask Belphie for a suggestion. You summoned him into your head the second you stepped on the ship, making sure he could have fun with his family as well. Surprisingly, he chooses to visit a comedy show. You have to sit there for an hour, listening to your little brain goblin critiquing every single joke.

Satan decides to go to the aquarium, where you wander around, surrounded by bizarre marine life behind glass. The ocean near Diavolo’s beach was almost empty, since all the potentially dangerous animals were moved to other locations. So it’s the first time you can actually see all the fish-monsters that were supposed to be swimming alongside you. After witnessing them, you are grateful for Diavolo’s caution; these things look absolutely terrifying.

Lucifer takes you to listen to live music, specifically jazz. It’s highly encouraged to dance, so you have fun with as many partners as you can snatch. By the end of the concert, only Levi and Lucifer reject your advances, but you don’t hold a grudge.

Diavolo decides that it’s a great time to get everyone drunk, so he drags everyone to the bar. He even made sure that there would be Human world alcohol for you and Solomon. After most of the partygoers, excluding Luke, are sufficiently drunk and gullible, Levi takes the lead and takes the group to karaoke. With joint effort, you even manage to make Lucifer sing. Satan records the whole thing for future blackmail.

The endless party finally reaches its end, leaving you exhausted. You sit in the corner, sinking into an impossibly soft couch. You quietly laugh at the shenanigans of drunken demons and try to fight the sleepiness. Not many are left standing; Levi and Satan are already snoring in their seats, while Lucifer tries to stop Simeon from dancing on the table. Asmo, Mammon, and Beel are certainly the strongest soldiers, they’ve already started singing another song as a trio. Barbatos left with Solomon and Luke earlier, levitating the unconscious sorcerer into his room and making sure the little angel goes to bed in time.

You say your goodbyes to Belphie, ending your telepathic connection and rising on your feet, ready to go to your room. But you are stopped by Diavolo.

“Hey!” He approaches you with a warm, tipsy smile, immediately grabbing your shoulders with one arm and leaning to your face. “Having fun?”

“Absolutely. Thank you for such a wonderful vacation.” You can’t help but smile in response. Diavolo’s grin is simply too infectious.

“It was so nice to spend time with everybody.” Diavolo looks around the room, his affectionate gaze finds every drunk demon and an angel. The prince returns his attention to you, and his eyes become even more tender. “But I can’t shake off the thought that we’ve barely spent any time one-on-one.”

“Want to remedy that? I’m all yours as long as you manage to keep me awake,” you jest with a friendly smirk.

“I’ll do my best,” Diavolo smirks in response and leads you out of the karaoke room. Somehow you get surprised when you end up in his bedroom, even though it was a logical choice on Diavolo’s part.

The bedroom is very spacious, with predominant white and golden colors. Huge windows grant a great view of the ocean and the night sky that reflects in it. But somehow all your attention is captured by a king-sized bed in the middle of the room. You realize that it’s a bit strange and rude to stare at it so intensely, so you move your attention back to Diavolo before he notices your inappropriate drunken behavior.

The prince strides to the bed and drops onto it, spreading his arms and legs apart. He lets out a relieved groan as his body sinks into the soft mattress.

“It’s good to finally relax. Even with my stamina, all this running around the ship was exhausting.” Diavolo rolls to the side, putting his hand under his head and looking at you, still awkwardly standing near the door. “I assume you’re just as tired. Come here. This bed is simply divine.”

You’re not mad to say no to a hot man who invites you into his bed. So without much hesitation you lie right beside him, actually feeling how tiredness leaves your muscles the second your back touches the mattress.

“Shit, you were not lying,” you smirk and put both arms under your head, taking a relaxed pose. Diavolo watches you from above with a slightly sly smile.

“I’m glad you like it. I enchanted it a bit so that anybody who lies down on it gets their energy restored.”

“Wow, so you don’t even need sleep with this thing? You can pull all-nighters whenever you want.”

“Exactly. An all-nighter is exactly what I had in mind,” the prince hums as his hand slides on you and starts playing with your collar. His golden eyes wander up and down your body, becoming brighter and more piercing with each second. “Can I be forward with you?”

“Always.” Your drunk brain still doesn’t fully register the change of atmosphere in the room, but you sure like lying around with Diavolo like that.

“I thought that I would act differently. A posh dinner in an expensive restaurant, a ride to the castle in a sports car, and the finale in my bedroom, where I would taste Demonus from your lips.” Diavolo leans lower as his fingers trace your chin. You are trapped within his hungry gaze, but you enjoy every second of it. “I had it all planned. In fact, I have so many plans that it will take us several hundred years to experience them all. But now when it’s just two of us in this room…” His grip on your chin tightens up as he tries to keep his emotions under control. “I don’t know if I can hold back any longer.”

You turn your head to the side to make it easier for you both to stare into each other’s faces.

“You don’t need to hold back with me. Never had to and never will…”

Diavolo catches your words with his lips, unable to wait for you to even finish a sentence. You smirk into a kiss, hugging him with your arms and pulling him closer. Diavolo slowly moves his body, raising it above you and then trapping you under him. Your passion is evenly matched as you finally get a chance to explore each other’s bodies. Diavolo deepens the kiss, making you forget all the coherent sentences. All you know is that you want to feel his whole weight on you, so you raise your legs and envelop his thighs, pressing his body into yours. After a second of hesitation, Diavolo lets you do it, squeezing out the air out of your lungs with his sheer mass.

You don’t allow such a minor detail as lack of air to stop you from enjoying being pressed into the mattress as Diavolo has his way with you. The demon grunts as he feels your fingers in his red hair. He interrupts the kiss to taste other parts of your body. His lips find your neck, planting messy kisses. Diavolo sucks in your skin, forcing you to audibly moan from stinging pleasure. He stops for a second to admire the hickey he left, watching as it gets darker. You notice him licking his lips as he stares at the mark and mentally prepare for your body to be fully covered in dark circles. This thought only excites you further, so you impatiently shift under Diavolo, demanding attention.

You hear a low grunt as he lunges back at you, barely allowing you to move as he embraces your torso. Your fingers can only grab his hair once again, melting from wet kisses and possessive bites. You feel your clothes gradually disappear as Diavolo moves lower, caressing your chest and belly. But he doesn’t undress you fully just yet, preferring to tease both you and himself. The prince is still wearing all his clothes, but he quickly slides out of his shirt the second you start tugging at it.

Diavolo raises back up, finding your lips once more and kissing them voraciously. His chest presses you down, and you twitch as his dark nipple slides against yours. The demon notices your reaction, immediately repeating the same motion, stimulating you both. You already feel uncomfortable with the wetness in your pants and your erection being suffocated under the fabric. You can sense Diavolo’s boner against yours, so you grind on it, squeezing your legs around the demon’s thighs.

“Gh!” Diavolo frowns as pleasure shoots through his body. He’s eyeing you hungrily, grabbing one of your hands and leading it lower, to his hips. “Show me what you want.”

You stare in his eyes as your hand finds the softness of Diavolo’s butt. Your eyes widen in surprise as you touch his bare skin; the demon is completely naked. Your fingers travel lower and to the side, making Diavolo shiver and press his face against your shoulder. He breathes out heavily and raises his hips up, chasing the soft touch. He takes your fingers readily, eagerly. You can feel his cock leaving a large pool of precum on your stomach as he spreads his legs to make it easier for you to fuck him with your hand. Your own erection is long-forgotten. You can only focus on shivers that run across Diavolo’s body as he arches his back and grunts into your ear. His arms grab your shoulders as he hides his face in your hair, breathing in your smell.

When you find his sensitive spot, he freezes, clenching his muscles around you. You try to move your fingers, but Diavolo grabbed you too tightly for you to move.

“Hey, Majesty, are you okay?” You try to raise your head to find Diavolo’s eyes, but the biceps clenched around your shoulders don’t let you move your neck.

“Yes…” Diavolo breathes out, leans back, and grabs your arm that is stuck between his hips. His hazy golden gaze finds yours as he licks his lips. “I’m sorry, but I can’t hold back. Can I use you?”

“Use?... Sure-…“ Your reply is cut short as Diavolo thrusts your fingers deeper, holding you by the wrist. He takes a crazy pace immediately, hitting the sweet spot you just found. The prince growls, shutting his eyes and rolling his head back. “It feels so-… But I need more.”

Diavolo is way too fired up to be satisfied with just fingers, so he lets go of your hand and tears your pants and underwear apart, completely forgetting about magic. He is mindful enough not to injure you, but as soon as he sees your erection released from under the fabric, you can see how all the thoughts leave his brain. You have a few seconds to lie down and grab the headboard, feeling that it’s a smart choice.

Diavolo thrusts down mercilessly, taking the whole length in one go. Despite the lack of lube, it doesn’t hurt either of you as Diavolo’s body immediately adjusts to your dick. The raw friction brings only pleasure, making you lose your mind from the intensity. Diavolo grunts loudly, finally feeling your pulsating cock inside him. His hips sway in a circular motion, adjusting position and finding the best angle. You have to bite your lip as you see him moving his body so erotically. Diavolo raises his eyes at you, noticing your heated gaze. A smug smirk dances on his lips as he repeats the motion, this time to purely tease you. You have to shut your eyes for a second, fearing that you can come just from this pose alone.

“You can come whenever you want,” Diavolo’s low voice enters your ears, making you open your eyes. His yellow eyes shine brightly, watching your every move. “As I said, this bed restores energy immediately. And I wasn’t just talking about general fatigue.” He slowly strokes his cock, sitting on you like on a throne. “I have a stamina fitting for the future king. I was afraid that I’d be a bit insatiable, and it seems my fears weren’t groundless. But I’m sure you anticipated such an outcome when you started courting me, didn’t you?”

You let out a breathless laugh, gripping the headboard tighter.

“Don’t hold back, Majesty. I can take you.”

“I’m sure you can,” Diavolo smirks and raises his hips, immediately slamming them back down. You can’t hold back your voice as his butt meets your balls, sending both pleasure and hot pain into your brain. Diavolo shuts his eyes, concentrating on seeking pleasure as he drops on your crotch over and over. His hand jerks his dick in time with the thrusting of his hips; his balls continue to pump out more and more precum on your belly. The vibrations of Diavolo’s growls send waves of delight across your body, making you come the first time.

You fill Diavolo’s ass with hot semen, but you’re as hard as before. The prince smirks as he feels your release. He opens his eyes, fixating all his attention on your face.

“One more time.” It sounds like a king’s order, the one you have to follow. Diavolo slows down his movement just a little, paying more attention to the rotation of his hips. As if he can read your mind, he rocks his ass in the exact way that drives you crazy. You were able to hold on when he was just using your body for his pleasure, but when he puts in an effort to actually finish you off, you can’t resist it.

Your body tenses, and you come once again, creating a sticky mess between your and Diavolo’s bodies.

“You’re so cute,” the demon breathes out as he licks his lips. You feel like you’re on fire under his intense stare. “Makes me want to…”

Diavolo raises his hips, allowing your cock to slip out. The prince frowns as you leave his body, but he focuses on you for now. His giant hands grab your shins, raising them in the air and bending you into a circle. Your only support is your upper back and shoulders as Diavolo effortlessly raises your lower body.

“Hey!” You’re not sure whether you need to panic just yet as Diavolo spreads your thighs and lowers them to your torso.

“Don’t worry.” The demon stares at the view that opened to him, letting go of one of your shins and caressing your cock instead. You want to trust him, but you feel very uncomfortable in such an open pose. You’re not used to lying on your back with legs up in the air. “I believe it’s called ‘Amazon position’ or ‘reverse mating press’. If I straddle your hips like so…” Diavolo sits on top of you, settling his butt on your balls. Your legs bend even more under his weight, making you press your knees all the way to your chest. The prince’s hand tilts your dick toward him, aiming it into his hole. He pushes it inside and slides all the way down, letting your spine and hips feel his whole weight.

Diavolo’s hands grab both of your shins, spreading your legs further as he starts bouncing on your dick, completely overpowering you. You can see his massive cock bobbing up and down right in front of you as he makes you thrust into him over and over. Despite your back being bent so much, you start to enjoy yourself once more, letting Diavolo ride you however he wants.

“That’s it…” Diavolo murmurs, pushing his thighs down and fucking you into the mattress. The sheer satisfaction on your face edges him on, making him chase your ecstasy instead of his. “Give it to me. I want more.”

It feels way too good to be ordered around like this by the future Demon King. You look at Diavolo, meeting his gaze. Despite the overwhelming lust and passion that dominate his expression, you still see unmistakable traces of adoration and tenderness. You feel it in your bones how much he wants to make you feel good. Your voice betrays you as you moan loudly, coming for the third time. Diavolo absorbs every single detail into his memory, as he feels the imminence of his own release. His entire body shivers violently as he shoots his semen at you, covering your whole torso in it. His balls pulsate as he lets you mark him as yours, claiming you in return.

Diavolo lets go of your legs, allowing you to fully lie down. He drops on you, burying his face into your shoulder, not caring about the mess you both made.

“How does it feel?” you ask, fondling his soft hair.

“Like something I want to do for all eternity,” Diavolo smiles lazily. But the moment of tranquility doesn’t last long. You can already feel his erection returning. He rises on his arms, hovering above you as his body fills with desire. Diavolo says only one word, “More.”

And you understand that it’ll be a very long night.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Chapter Text

Why do all the monsters come out at night?
Why do we sleep where we want to hide?
Why do I run back to you
Like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?
Why am I a sucker for all your lies?
Strung out like laundry on every line
Why do I come back to you
Like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?

All Time Low, Demi Lovato - Monsters

A ringing of an alarm clock is met by a relieved sigh from you, and by an annoyed grunt from Diavolo. Without stopping kissing you, the demon throws some spell at his phone, teleporting the device into the void and shutting up the alarm. This gesture implies that Diavolo doesn’t intend to let you go anytime soon, despite numerous promises.

You’ve started asking for a break ever since the morning hours began. And while the prince nodded with understanding at your pleas, he always managed to make you agree on “just one more” round. You’ve lost count of how many “last rounds” you’ve had. While the enchanted bed was indeed replenishing your energy, allowing you to keep up with Diavolo, the never-ending sex was still taking a toll on your body. You’ve never thought that it was possible to get mental fatigue from having sex, but it was actually the case.

You had hoped that the alarm would save you, but it seems that the insatiable prince decided to ignore the outside world completely, locking himself in his room with you.

“Diavolo,” you try to sound firm, but it’s hard when the demon grinds against you and refuses to even interrupt the kiss. You try to grab Diavolo’s hands before they slip lower, toward your cock, but he just grins and escapes your grip easily. “Everybody agreed that we’d meet at the buffet area. Including us. What do you think will happen when we’re be the only ones missing?”

“You imply that others will storm the room?” Diavolo chuckles, slowing down his movements. “I doubt it. There are few perks to being the future king, and this is one of them. Nobody would dare…”

“Good morning, Young Master, Castiel.” Barbatos appears near the bed out of nowhere, making you freeze in Diavolo’s embrace. The prince laughs heartily, summoning a blanket to cover both of you.

“Well, other than Barbatos, of course.”

“Good morning…” You wave nervously at the butler. It seems Diavolo doesn’t mind such nonchalant intrusion into his personal life, but you’re not sure how to react. Barbatos doesn’t look disgusted or disapproving. It’s hard to read him, but at this point you start to recognize little hints of his actual mood. Despite keeping a professional face on, Barbatos seems amused.

“I’ve prepared you some tea.” The butler places a tray on the nearby coffee table. “You have 30 minutes to converse and prepare for the day. Please don’t skip the meeting at the buffet area, everybody will be waiting for you.”

“See what I have to deal with every day?” Diavolo sighs in exaggerated sorrow and grabs a cup, still hiding both of you under the blanket.

“You won’t get any sympathy from me today, Majesty,” you smirk. As far as you’re concerned, Barbatos just saved you from sex slavery. “Thank you, Barbatos.”

“Anytime.” The butler nods and disappears, leaving you two alone. This strange encounter threw you off, even though everybody acted like everything was normal.

“By the way, I forgot to ask: how did your date with Barbatos go?” Diavolo decides to add to the awkwardness, calmly sipping his tea. He offers you another cup, but you have to refuse. You fear that you’ll spill everything on the bed if the demons continue to shock you with their behavior. “I asked him yesterday, but he didn’t get into any details.”

“Um… It was okay, I guess,” you mumble, remembering your trip in the boat. All the romantic atmosphere was shattered the second Barbatos gifted you that fucking blade. You shift uneasily as you think about it. This powerful artifact is tucked in your backpack, wrapped in your crumpled clothes. Part of you just wants to toss this thing into the ocean. “It was cut short by the arrival of the cruise ship.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for my surprise to interrupt you!” Diavolo seems actually regretful.

“So you like… Don’t mind?” You awkwardly shift again. Why do you always have to have these conversations about relationships and feelings when you’re naked?

“Hm?” The prince looks at you quizzically for a moment, pondering your question. Then he grins widely. “Oh, you mean if I mind you dating Barbatos? Or Solomon? Or Mammon? Or…?”

“Are you going to name all of them?” You huff, feeling embarrassed, for some reason. Yeah, you’ve got quite a list of boyfriends. It actually sounds crazy when you find the courage to acknowledge it. It’s always easier to ignore the problem you’ve created, but Diavolo is not the kind of guy that would allow you to dance around the topic.

“It’s not every day I get to see you blush,” the demon chuckles, staring at you with his golden eyes. “But to answer your question: no, I don’t mind. I have to admit I had my hopes that I’d be the only one you’ll choose in the end. No matter what, I’ll always have this desire to be the only one for you. I think it’s true for most of us, no matter how acceptable we are trying to be for your and our sake. But the more I witnessed how you interact with others, how they look at you… I just had to accept that you’re important to all of us.”

“Are you sure about that?” You ask, hiding your gaze. Your fingers grab the blanket and start digging into the fabric as you try to suppress contradicting emotions. “Can you really be happy like that? I mean, you have to ignore your feelings when it comes to work, to politics, and now you have to make compromises in your love life? This sucks, man.” You rub your forehead and sigh. “Or you think that it’s destiny at work, and that’s why you go along with this? I’m not sure that it’s the right choice on your part.”

“But I don’t really have a choice, do I?” Diavolo carefully puts a cup back on the coffee table and leans closer to you. His gaze becomes heavier. “I lost it the second I decided that I wanted you. I can’t simply whisk you away or lock you up in my castle. And you’re way too invested in others to choose only one of us. To choose me. I understand that. And I learned to accept that. So don’t pity me.” Diavolo gives you a reassuring smile, putting his warm hand on your cheek. “I’m actually starting to enjoy this little comradery that is going on. Barbatos told me about your desire to see the ocean. And I helped him to prepare sandwiches for that little boat trip. And did you know that there are a couple of private chats where, besides other things, people brainstorm ideas about things that you might like? I even have the privilege to be a member of some of them!”

“Huh…” You’re not sure what to do with this information. It seems that your guys slowly start to accept the idea of sharing. But it’s still a very unreliable truce. And who knows how long it’ll last in the first place? They cooperated swimmingly during the ball, and lately they didn’t get in each other’s way when it came to one-on-one time with you. Can you actually make it work somehow? “That’s… Wow, I don’t know what to say. I guess ‘thank you’? I’m very grateful that you’re willing to compromise. This means the world to me.” You try to express your feelings through words and eyes, feeling strangely vulnerable.

Diavolo smiles wider, moving his hand to the top of your head and ruffling your hair. You can’t help but smile back at such an amicable gesture. “Don’t worry about it too much, we’ll be fine. I guess it’s much easier for immortals to accept such things. The longer you live, the easier it is to come to terms with the thought that you or your partner may fall in love with someone else. Though when it comes to demons, the possessiveness and rivalry will never go away. And the more I observe, the more I think that the same is true for humans and angels. But as long as you are willing to make an effort, so do we.”

“Thank you.” You hug Diavolo, hiding your face in his shoulder. You didn’t expect to get emotional after he was fucking you into a mattress all night long. You take a deep breath and force yourself to hide all the vulnerability behind a smirk. You’ve been open for long enough. Now it’s time to slip back into the role of a jesting, sarcastic bastard. It feels much more comfortable and suitable than laying all your emotions out in the open. You raise your head and jokingly squint your eyes at the demon. “So, Majesty. Aren’t you a bit too wise on a subject of love life and sex? Are you sure that you’re a virgin? Because let me tell you, the things you did were totally not virgin-like.”

Unlike with Levi, you certainly didn’t need to use Asmo’s pact to learn Diavolo’s desires. He shamelessly communicated through both words and body language what he wanted. You are even a bit jealous of such self-confidence. This man must have literal balls of steel to be able to do the things he did during his first-ever sex.

“I’m not aware how virgins usually act, so I just was myself,” Diavolo grins and allows you to change the subject. “I did some research. Maybe a bit more in-depth than I should’ve, but I like being prepared. And when you wait for something for centuries, well… I was way too excited to allow my shyness to get in the way of new experiences.”

“Yeah, you sure made the most of this night,” you chuckle, rubbing your shoulder. You don’t feel any soreness, but your brain still tells you that the pain is supposed to be here. The only slight discomfort comes from numerous hickeys that cover your body. Diavolo didn’t hold back at all. “Hey, can you heal those? I look like a leopard or like I have some kind of disease.”

“But I like them.” Diavolo’s finger traces one of the hickeys on your neck. “They’ll heal by the end of the day. And for now, allow me the satisfaction of looking at the imprints of my lips on your skin.” The demon stares at you beggingly, so you can only sigh and admit defeat.

“Fine. I’m first to the shower then.” You rise to your feet, ready to head to the bathroom, but Diavolo’s hands grab your waist and gently pull you back. You try to fight the sudden shift in your balance, but your body drops backward within a second. You land on Diavolo’s torso that vibrates from warm laughter. He squeezes you tighter, trapping in his embrace. “Come on, we don’t have much time to fool around,” you grunt, barely holding back an amused smile.

“We have 23 minutes and 42 seconds, I was counting.” The prince’s hot breath lands on your ear as he starts to playfully bite it. Diavolo’s body begins to grind against yours, reminding you of a big cat that begs for attention. “Nothing beats a good old shower, but magic is a decent temporary solution. So if we are quick, there’s still time for another round.”

Your body gets dropped on the bed as Diavolo changes position and climbs on top of you. His towering frame and lustful glint in his eyes tell you that refusing is not an option. Not that you actually want to.

“You’re killing me, Majesty,” you smirk and meet his lips with yours as your fingers explore his body anew.

***

“The three-legged crow is believed to be the source of all demonic powers. It grants us… Are you listening?” Satan doesn’t even need to look into the book to recite all the information from it. So when your attention starts wavering, he notices immediately.

You’re sitting in the library, preparing for tomorrow’s lessons. After you’ve returned from your brief vacation, Lucifer was perfectly clear that he wouldn’t allow anyone to slack off any longer. Despite loud whining and countless attempts to flee, Lucifer caught everyone. Everybody was divided into two study groups. Lucifer took the most problematic ones, whose attention tends to wander. And Satan was made responsible for the rest. So now you, Beel, Simeon, and Luke are listening to Satan’s lecture, while Lucifer tries to discipline the rest of his brothers and Solomon.

The “no food in the library” policy is harsh for everybody, but especially for Beel. He distracts himself by reading yet another book about traveling between worlds, still holding hope that you and he will be able to visit Belphie one day. Simeon and Luke are listening attentively to Satan’s words, while you struggle to control your thoughts.

Your mind keeps returning to that glass dagger, pondering how you could use it in the most efficient way. Can it be the key to helping Lilith somehow? Can you even stab a soul if you ever need to? Maybe if you manage to capture her spirit, you’ll be able to move her somewhere safe. The Human world shouldn’t be harmful to her, right? And then the brothers will just need to find a way to travel there regularly and visit her. But will Lilith even want to leave?

“Castiel.” Satan’s harsh tone finally makes you concentrate on the world around you. “I almost never agree with Lucifer, but I also think that you should learn more. Knowledge is key. This is important information that can help you.”

“I think you underestimate the amount of info I had to learn ever since I got here.” You frown and defend yourself. You may not be the most studious person, but given the circumstances, you were studying pretty often. You were mostly concentrating on demonic biology, their types, and how to kill them, but you weren’t slacking off with your classes as well. Everything was still new and unusual, so it was hard to grasp everything at once. But you were trying.

“All I hear are excuses. You have great potential, but instead you prefer to sleep around instead of focusing on what’s important.” Satan points at the hickeys on your skin with disgust. Not even the foundation you borrowed from Asmo can fully hide the marks the Future Demon King left on you. Simeon sighs and routinely covers Luke’s ears, while Beel prefers to keep quiet.

“Oh, bitch, don’t even go there!” Satan’s remark immediately pisses you off. You jump on your feet, and Satan mirrors your movement. You both growl furiously, staring at each other with fire in your eyes.

“How did you just call me?!”

“Is something the matter?” A cold, emotionless voice interrupts your fight as Lucifer calmly enters your side of the library. He was studying with others on the other side of the room, but your and Satan’s voices naturally attracted his attention.

“Lucifer, fuck off.”

“Fuck off, Lucifer!”

Your and Satan’s response is immediate and synchronous. Lucifer frowns and crosses his arms, not amused by your rebellious reply. “It seems I was too easy on you, since you started to forget who is in charge here.”

“Why do you always stick your nose where it doesn’t belong?!” Satan snarls, his eyes already radiate a familiar green light. “It’s none of your business!”

“Everything that is going on under this roof is my business, you better remember that. If you have any complaints, feel free to leave my house at once.”

“Lucifer, you really need to learn when to keep your mouth shut,” you sigh, not sure who you’re fighting at this point.

“I’ve never heard something so hypocritical in my entire life,” Lucifer smirks, moving his attention to you. “Apply your advice to yourself first, Castiel.”

“This is bad…” You hear Mammon’s mumbling from the other side of the library. “Fights between Lucifer and Satan were bad enough, and now Cas was added to the mix.”

“Yeah,” Levi nods, watching your quarrel from afar. “It’s like their egos are constantly clashing. And now we have three enormous egos to worry about.”

“You can say it simpler: they’re having a dick-measuring contest,” Asmo sighs, wisely nodding to himself. “I say all three of them should take it to the bedroom, undress, and release their stress like proper adults. Screaming at each other is so immature.”

“I think they’re just hungry.” Beel moves closer to his brothers, preferring to maintain distance between your raging trio. “Anybody would get angry on an empty stomach. I say we take a break and order some pizza.”

“So you want me to leave, huh?!” Satan’s voice once again captures your attention, so you turn your head to him. The demon starts picking up the books from the table as he growls at his brother. “Perfect, finally we agree on something!”

“Where do you think you’re going with these books?” Lucifer cocks his brow and grabs a weighty tome from a pile in Satan’s arms. “Everything here belongs to me. Including this library. If you want to leave, you have to do so empty-handed. You own nothing, Satan.”

“You damn bastard!” Satan growls and tries to snatch the black book out of Lucifer’s hand. “Don’t act like you’re the only one working and earning grimm here! Open your fucking eyes and stop treating us like children!...”

A bright flash assaults your vision, making you cover your face. You blink several times, focusing your eyes on the two demons in front of you. Lucifer and Satan seem disoriented, looking around in confusion.

“Are you okay?” You immediately forget about the fight, moving closer to them and checking whether they are injured.

“I think… Wait.” Lucifer’s eyes widen as he looks down at his body. “Why am I looking like this?”

“What is the meaning of this?” Satan eyes Lucifer with cold fury, crossing his arms. “Satan, is this some kind of childish mockery of yours? Why did you take this form?”

“Oh dear,” Solomon finally speaks up after silently hiding in the corner and watching the entire scene unfold. “Don’t tell me you both touched the forbidden book I accidentally left on the table. It makes people change bodies, you know.”

“What?!” Lucifer and Satan growl in unison as their magic slowly manifests in their hands.

The sorcerer looks very entertained, not showing a single hint of remorse. You have no doubts that he did it on purpose.

“You see,” Solomon slowly approaches them and lifts the black book from the ground, smiling politely, “I’ve been doing some research on this book, hoping to use it on Castiel.”

“Sorry, what?” You frown and clench your fists. Solomon notices your reaction and chuckles calmingly.

“No worries, I would never do anything without your consent. I just wondered whether we’d be able to control each other’s pacts in case we switch bodies. And whether it’s possible for you to manifest magic while you’re using my physique. The book’s spell lasts for a couple of hours only, but it’s still possible to utilize it for research and to have some fun in the process.”

“Wait, you think I can do the same stuff you do?” You already can summon fire, see others’ desires, have incredible physical strength… It’s already a lot. But you have to agree that to be a sorcerer, even if for a little while, would be awesome. Still, giving Solomon power over your pacts is the worst idea ever. It’s not clear whether it’s even possible, but either way, you don’t want to tempt fate.

“I have reasons to suspect that you could temporarily become a mage. Look at them,” Solomon points at Satan and Lucifer, who barely fight the urge to throw a couple of curses in the sorcerer’s direction. “They use each other’s magic, not their own. And while it’s much weaker than their usual level, they are still doing it!”

The demons stare at their hands in confusion, noticing that their magic, while pretty similar, doesn’t feel quite right. Lucifer summoned green flames, and Satan holds bright, red energy in his palm.

“Wait, so they switched bodies?!” Mammon once again impresses you with his smarts. He grins widely, looking at his irritated brothers. “And they both are much weaker now, huh?...” You have a second to notice Mammon’s attention moving to you before he snatches you in his arms and starts running out of the room. “Cas, it’s time for another vacation! No way Lucifer will find us this time!”

“Are you fucking serious?!” You instinctively start to struggle, trying to get out of the tight grip of the greedy demon. Luckily for you, Beel and Levi remained vigilant. Unluckily, they just hopped on top of you and Mammon, which you have to admit, stopped Mammon entirely. All three of them roll on the ground, tossing you around alongside them. You try to at least shield your face from stray hits, but that’s all you can do. In this mess of limbs, you can barely understand who is hitting whom.

You hear Solomon calling you and vaguely notice his pale hand, which you try to grab, hoping that he’ll pull you out of this pile of rowdy demons. But accidentally, Levi’s foot kicks your hand to the left. So instead of Solomon’s palm, your fingers find a smooth cover of the forbidden book.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

An inhuman scream that escapes your throat makes everyone freeze in horror. The second you touch the book, you feel like something starts to tear you apart. Your fingers clench on your chest as you feel your heart pounding at tremendous speed. You vaguely hear a sound of something snapping apart, like a rope or a thread. The book is trying to pull your soul into Solomon’s body, but something is wrong. Terribly wrong.

You lose consciousness for a second, only to wake up in Simeon’s embrace. You see countless worried eyes staring at you from above as you feel the cold floor under your back.

“I don’t understand, I can’t find any physical injuries.” Simeon frowns as he examines your body.

“Castiel, I’m so sorry.” You hear Solomon’s voice on your right. “I would never put you in danger like this. But I don’t know what happened. This book is supposed to be almost harmless…”

“I will skin you alive!...” You hear someone’s roar, but you’re not sure whether it’s Lucifer or Satan talking. Either way, you have to put yourself together and prevent bloodshed.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

“I’m fine,” you cough out and lift yourself from the floor. It’s a bit hard to stand straight, but with each beat of the heart, you start feeling better and better. Solomon looks unscratched, which is a relief. Last time a similar situation killed both of you, so you don’t want to see his dead body ever again. “No need to go ballistic over a simple prank. Just wait for a few hours and…”

“About that…” Solomon interrupts you, looking untypically nervous. After making sure that you’re indeed okay, he lowers his gaze to his hands. The book is no longer there. Only a slight layer of dust and ash covers his pale palms. “I think we have a problem. The book got destroyed the second you touched it. And I have no idea why.”

“If you intend to say that now we won’t change back,” Lucifer glares at the sorcerer with his green eyes, slowly summoning flames into his hands, “I will feed you to Cerberus this instant.”

“But then you won’t be able to hear the solution to this problem!” Solomon immediately masks his worry with a sly smile, playfully hiding behind your back.

“Talk. Or you won’t live for much longer.” Satan steadily approaches Solomon, making clear that he is ready to take him down barehanded, without any spells. His presence in Lucifer’s body certainly adds weight to his threat.

“Do you guys know Grisella?” Solomon asks casually, still using you as a shield. You roll your eyes but allow him to fool around. “She is the one who created this book. I bet she can help you two.”

“Oh, it’s that creepy witch?” Mammon winces. It seems he knows her well.

“Indeed.” Solomon nods readily. “She currently resides in New Hope village. I heard that you demons have close ties with the local community, so I’m sure you’ll get help in no time.”

“What a mess…” Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to tame his wrath. “So we have to go to the Human world to find her. Brilliant. I’ve visited this village a couple of times, but it’s impossible to teleport there directly unless you’re summoned by a magician or a witch. So we’ll have to use a passage that leads to London and then take a train…”

“Can’t this clown teleport us there?” Satan stares at Solomon with bloodshot eyes. The whites of his eyes colored in red as his blood vessels burst from the sheer intensity of his fury. If both Satan and Lucifer weren’t weakened by Solomon’s prank, the sorcerer would be either dead or severely injured.

“I would love to!” Solomon smiles charmingly, starting to enjoy the situation once again. “…But I can’t. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are places where I’m not welcomed. New Hope is one of such places. It is a very secluded village of magicians, and they don’t like outsiders. I’m afraid my presence there will only complicate things.”

“Either way, we won’t take him with us.” Lucifer sighs and turns to Satan. “The last thing I want is having him around while we are so weakened. And now we need to travel to the Human world on top of it…” He notices your puzzled gaze and says, “Have you not been listening to Satan’s lecture? Whether this legend about the three-legged crow is true or not, one thing is true: something within the Devildom is indeed the source of our powers. Once we travel to any other world, we are not nearly as powerful as usual.”

“The same is true for angels!” Luke chips in, happily sharing his knowledge with you. “We’re pretty powerful even in the Devildom, but you should visit the Celestial Realm one day! Then I’ll show you how actually strong I am!”

“It’s one of the reasons why it’s so difficult to forge diplomatic relations between the two realms.” Simeon adds, pointing at Lucifer in Satan’s body. “Whenever the need arose, Lucifer was our main diplomat. He was the strongest after all, so he could protect himself. Though I’ve always insisted that we should’ve chosen someone more… flexible.”

“I did my job well, Simeon.” Lucifer frowns at the angel.

“Of course!” Simeon smiles innocently, hiding amusement in his eyes.

“And whenever diplomacy wasn’t an option,” Solomon adds, instantly bringing down the mood in the whole room, “they’ve used the Human world as a battlefield to solve their disputes. Angels couldn’t attack the Devildom, and demons couldn’t go for the Celestial Realm directly, because both parties had a disadvantage one way or the other. But in the Human world they’re even.” The sorcerer lets his polite smile disappear for a moment, letting out his true feelings. “It slowly started to change only when I began to forge alliances with like-minded sorcerers and witches. Once the Human world had a united force that could hit back, the wars between angels and demons mysteriously stopped.”

“Don’t forget to add that demons helped you to create this united force.” Satan joins the discussion. His voice is still hoarse, ready to break into a growl any second. “Lord Diavolo always shared your opinion on these wars. Thanks to his patronage, it became easier for magicians to summon demons into the Human world, use their power and forge pacts. The demons got souls out of this arrangement, sure. But humans became much more powerful as a result.”

“I wish Celestial Realm was on the same wavelength.” Simeon sighs heavily, looking you in the eyes. “Remember how I told you that angels don’t look kindly at pacts? While it’s true that we are concerned about humans losing their souls, and it’s how we officially explain it, the actual reason is that some angels are afraid of bonding between the Human realm and the Devildom. Fighting against one force is one thing, but if the Celestial Realm has to fight both humans and demons, it’s another thing entirely.”

“Um…” Levi suddenly raises his voice, trembling when all the attention snaps to him. He clears his throat and looks at Solomon. “Since we’ve suddenly decided to discuss history and stuff… Why did you do the thing with Lady Francesca? If you weakened the Devildom, wouldn’t it provoke angels to start a new war? It doesn’t really solve the issue with the Human world…” The demon stares at the floor, avoiding Solomon’s silver gaze. “I was thinking about it ever since that night. Why did you do this?”

“I admit, it was a risk.” Solomon nods with a polite smirk. “But I didn’t plan to give angels a chance to swoop in. I had a lot of plans that would help me topple Lord Diavolo’s reign; Spicy News was just a little part of it. If everything went according to plan, as a result, the Devildom would become somewhat of a colony of the Human world. A perfect shield against angels. And demons would never be a threat after this conquest.”

“You definitely dream big, human.” Lucifer grunts, surely thinking about snapping Solomon’s neck. “After everything Lord Diavolo did for your world, that’s how you show your gratitude?”

“Lord Diavolo didn’t do any sacrifices for the sake of our world.” Solomon suddenly includes you in the conversation, putting you both on the same side. “It was always a mutually beneficial arrangement, which was wise on his part. But don’t make him sound like a hero. And while the Human world is much closer to the Devildom than it is to the Celestial Realm,” Solomon grins charmingly, “two worlds, united under the same rulership, are much better for humans than an unstable alliance with the independent Devildom. Judge me all you want, but you’d have acted similarly if our roles were reversed. But anyway,” Solomon’s hand lands on your shoulder, pulling you closer. “Thanks to Castiel here, I came to the realization that there is a much faster and safer way to ensure that the most powerful demons will be on humanity’s side, if we ever have any confrontation with angels. I’m sure none of you, including even the Future King himself, will stand aside if Castiel’s world gets attacked. And your love for Castiel sure discourages you from even thinking about harming humans, doesn’t it?”

“Don’t use me in your machinations, Solomon.” You roll your eyes again and shake off his hand. Though you don’t disagree with his words. The sorcerer is right: unknowingly, you managed to forge bonds with the main forces of the Devildom. It sure helps your world to stay safe, one way or another. But relatively speaking, you won’t live for that long. Maybe you’ve secured a couple of years of peace, but what’s next?

“That’s the best part, Castiel: I didn’t plan for it at all!” Solomon chuckles in delight, making the demons twist their faces in disgust. “I was always rooting for you to become stronger. The Human world can always use more powerful humans. But the way it all starts to work out impresses even me.” He turns his attention toward the rest of the crowd. “So you can be sure that from now on I’m a changed man! No more grand plans about conquering the Devildom. I’m now certain that the power of friendship and love is the way for all of us to thrive!”

“Ugh, you sound even cornier than main characters in Levi’s cartoons.” Mammon winces and almost spits on the ground in disgust, but he timely remembers that Lucifer can tear off his head for such discourtesy inside the house.

“It’s called anime! Not cartoons! How many times do I have to tell you that?!” Levi screeches at his brother before turning to Solomon. “I will never forgive you and will never trust you. But if Cas wants you here, so be it.”

“I only tolerate you because you shared your thoughts with me.” Asmo sighs and puts his hands on his hips. “As long as it’s for Tiel’s benefit, we’ll cooperate. But you have a long way to go to earn even a sliver of trust.”

After that, everybody turns to Beel, prompting him to also share his thoughts. The demon stands silently, looking at the pile of books in the corner. When he senses the attention on him, he finally raises his gaze.

“Sorry, I wasn’t really listening…” He mumbles and scratches the back of his head, turning to Lucifer. “I was just thinking… Can I go to the Human realm with you? And Cas as well. I want to visit Belphie and introduce Cas to him. I’m sure he’ll be happy if we come to visit…”

“No.” Lucifer replies immediately, but Satan’s face doesn’t allow him to hide his emotions as easily as usual. His expression wavers in sorrow and guilt before he restores his usual cold mask. Lucifer is about to fall silent after his harsh reply, but you slightly kick him in the shin. The demon glares at you furiously, but after you roll your eyes in Beel’s direction, silently hinting that Lucifer should be a bit less of an asshole, he sighs and elaborates, “I’m sorry, but we won’t have time for a detour. We need to fix this situation as soon as possible, preferably before the start of tomorrow’s classes. But I guess we could take Castiel with us.”

“Wait, seriously?” You didn’t expect to return to your world so soon. You felt homesick just recently, and now you actually get a chance to go back. Of course, you won’t visit your apartment or see your colleagues, but you’ll see a real sun.

“I guess your presence may prove beneficial. We don’t need your guidance; I suspect we know the area much better than you anyway. But the third person will help Satan keep his temper under control.”

“My temper? What about yours, Lucifer?” Satan grunts and crosses his arms in annoyance. “But sure, Castiel can go with us. I won’t be able to bear another trip with you otherwise.”

You ignore their bickering, approaching Beel instead. You put a hand on his arm, showing him your support. The sad demon pulls you into his embrace, ignoring everybody else in the room.

“It’s okay,” you whisper to him calmingly. “Once I return, we’ll browse through books together. I promise I’ll do everything for you to meet Belphie as soon as possible.”

“Thank you,” he whispers back, squeezing you tighter. Any anger toward Lucifer that was stewing beneath Beel’s calm demeanor slowly evaporates under your tender touches. Beel breathes out deeply and puts his trust in you.

You frown with determination: you’ll drag Satan into that damn pact. Enough of distractions.

***

You quickly grab a backpack that you’re yet to unpack, pet Cerberus for luck, and head to the place Lucifer marked on your map. You know that there are only two ways for demons to travel to the Human world: be summoned by a magician or a witch, or use one of the hidden portals that connect the Devildom and the world of humans. All the portals are controlled by Diavolo, Lucifer, and Barbatos, and only those three can freely use them. Beel was searching for any other alternative routes because there was no way to get permission for him to visit Belphie. So far, he had no luck, but it’s for the best. He wouldn’t find his brother there anyway.

One of the hidden passages is relatively near to the House of Lamentation. It’s situated in one of the alleyways, right in the middle of the city. So you hurry there, noticing two brooding figures as you come closer to the needed spot.

“Took you long enough,” Satan huffs, hunching under unfamiliar height. The demon clearly feels physically uncomfortable in Lucifer’s body. Usually he would pull a couple of pranks using his new appearance, but the prospect of being stuck in this body forever doesn’t allow him to be careless. Which is a shame; you’d participate in his antics given the chance.

“Let’s get this over with.” Lucifer sounds just as grumpy. He constantly fixes his blond hair that doesn’t lie as neatly as he’s used to. The demon puts his hand on the brick wall of the alley, ready to uncover the portal. But nothing happens. Lucifer frowns and tries again, but the portal rejects his authority. “It seems this body doesn’t allow me to be authorized as ‘Lucifer’. Satan, come here.”

“You know, there is this magical word one would say when they ask for assistance… Care to remind me what this word is?” Satan smirks smugly, waiting for Lucifer to go against his sin.

The older demon frowns, visibly battling the desire to forcibly plant Satan’s hand against the wall. He sighs, “Please, come here and help me open the portal.”

You can’t hold back and applaud Lucifer, making him look daggers at you. Finally, Satan decides to cooperate and puts his hand next to Lucifer’s. Soon all three of you walk through a familiar swirling of the portal and appear in a dark corner of a crowded train station.

“What a handy placement of the portal,” you mumble, looking around at the chaos that unfolds in front of you. Hundreds of people hurry back and forth, pulling enormous bags and suitcases. Numerous trains arrive and depart, diligently transporting people every few minutes. Unfortunately, you can’t see the sun from where you stand, but seeing fellow humans is already good enough. You never thought you’d miss them, but here you are.

“I heard Lord Diavolo invested money into this station, making sure it was built where the portal is,” Satan explains, curiously looking around. “Saves us some time whenever we need to travel to secluded places like New Hope. Most of the portals lead to either train stations, harbors, or airports. Lord Diavolo tries to make transportation easier whenever he can.”

Thump thump. Thump thump.

You nod in awe, but the gesture is interrupted by a sudden pain in your chest. Your heart starts acting up again, making you wince from unpleasant sensations. You turn away from Satan, leaning on the stone wall and trying to catch your breath. Where is that creepy healing when you need it? The aching pain doesn’t go away, but at least you manage to get used to it after a couple of minutes.

“I bought us tickets.” Lucifer appears out of nowhere, clenching said tickets in his hand.

“Wait, how?” You ask, surprised. There’s no way he bought them that quickly, given how many people are there. The queues should be simply enormous.

“Even in a weakened state, I’m still a demon. You better remember that.” Lucifer straightens up pridefully. It seems this whole situation hurt his ego more than you thought. “Some of us can charm people to do our bidding. But don’t worry, Lord Diavolo explicitly forbade using our charms on you. So when Asmo used his much more powerful charms, he was disciplined accordingly.”

“Oh, so if Diavolo didn’t forbid those powers, you’d just let Asmo do whatever he pleased?” Lucifer’s silence is enough of an answer for you. You frown and mumble, “Sometimes I really hate you.”

“…Likewise.” A quiet answer barely reaches your ears as you and Satan hurry toward your train.

***

Apparently, Lucifer’s charms are pretty powerful even in his current state. He managed to reserve a private cabin for all of you. It’s a truly luxurious room with a giant bed. But thanks to some magic, Satan and Lucifer quickly transform the cabin, dividing it into three separate sections, each with its own bed.

“And here I thought we’d cuddle together in one bed,” you jest, still slightly wincing from the pain in your heart.

“Thank you for giving fuel for my nightmares,” Satan huffs and disappears in his room. He chose the middle one, so you walk toward the furthest section, ready to finally get some sleep. It’s still early evening, but you feel absolutely exhausted.

“Castiel,” Lucifer’s voice stops you as you’re about to enter your room. You glance at him, waiting for continuation. “…Good night.” It’s definitely not what he meant to say, but he still stands in front of his room, actually waiting for your response.

“Sweet dreams,” you answer and raise your eyebrow, noticing that your reply actually cheers the demon up. Lucifer enters his room with a hint of a smile, leaving you with more questions than answers.

You shrug and close the door behind you. Your back meets the soft surface of the bed, and you immediately fall asleep.

…

But you’re quickly awakened by a strange weight on top of you. Something soft lands on your cheeks, and soon you realize that you’re being kissed. Your sleepy eyes recognize two red glimmers in the darkness of the room, and you pull Lucifer closer to meet his lips with yours. But as you’re about to kiss him, you finally remember that it can’t be Lucifer. You dodge the kiss just in time, quickly raising your upper body and staring at the intruder with fury.

“Satan, what the fuck?” You hiss at the demon, leaning as far away from him as possible.

“Hm? Isn’t it obvious?” Satan tilts his head with a smirk. “Come on, I’m supposed to have at least a bit of fun while I look like that. I know that you hate this bastard just as much as me. So here it is, his body. Do with it what you please.”

“No,” you shake your head, feeling a bit nauseous. “Even if it’s you here, it’s still his body. I won’t fucking rape him, Satan.”

“And you’ve been doing so well…” Satan sighs in disappointment. “I even started to think that I actually want to make a pact with you. Oh well.” He suddenly lunges at you, pinning you to the bed and towering above your body. His hand clenches around your neck, making it hard to breathe. “You think you can say no and I’ll accept it? You’re still just a weak human. If you’re not going to cooperate, maybe I should take what I want by force…”

“You can try,” you scowl at the demon. “But you’re even weaker than you were on the island. One punch from me with the help of Beel’s pact, and I’ll send you flying from this train. Good luck collecting your scattered limbs from the ground.”

You’re actually about to do exactly what you said when Satan lets you go with a satisfied smile.

“Easy, tiger. You’re right, I don’t have a chance against you right now. But I demand a rematch after I restore my full power.” He rises from your bed and saunters toward the door. “I wish you’d always be tough like that. You shouldn’t develop such a soft spot for Lucifer. He’ll never appreciate it.”

“It’s not about a soft spot, it’s about basic human decency,” you grunt at him. “If you demand me to rape someone just to earn your approval, shove that pact up your ass.”

“Right, I forgot that you care about consent and such. Most people who try to lure me into the pact are ready to do anything it takes only because I feed them empty promises. But I guess you don’t desire the pact with me strong enough.” Satan smirks angrily, glaring at you with bright, red eyes. “You better work harder than that if you ever want to get it. I told you, I’m not as gullible as my brothers. You’ll have to earn it.”

And with that, he closes the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts. This damn demon certainly enjoys teasing you, trying to manipulate you into doing something you don’t want. How much violence and blood do you need to give him before he is satisfied?

You soon slip back into restless dreams, chasing peace but never finding it.

Tomorrow is a new…

Thump thump. Thump thump.

…Your body shivers from a sudden cold, piercing sensation that rudely drags you back into the reality, but you’re getting stuck somewhere in between. Your head is dizzy and your vision is cloudy, but you can barely recognize a humanoid figure that hovers above you. Someone is bent over your bed as they thrust something shiny and sharp into your flesh, over and over.

You try to move your lips and say something, but you’re unable to shake off this strange torpor. It holds you in place like you’re a butterfly pinned behind glass. The unknown figure still notices your attempts to struggle and moves their attention to you.

“It seems you’re even more restless than usual. I’m terribly sorry, but you have to bear with me.” The stranger coos calmingly as they shove a giant needle into your arm. Your numbness saves your brain from registering pain, but you know that you’ll feel it later at full capacity. “It seems something was trying to tear your soul from your body. Again. The stitches are all torn apart…” The figure murmurs, continuing to thrust the needle at tremendous speed. You can barely notice a green glimmer of a thread in the darkness, as it presumably stitches your soul and body together. “And now you went all the way to the Human world. It’s hard to concentrate on this spell when you’re that far away. You surely felt quite a bit of pain before I arrived. Please notify me in advance when you plan such a trip.” The stranger falls silent before resuming their whispers. You don’t see their smile, but you hear it in their voice. “Though, you won’t remember this encounter, so my request falls on deaf ears. But don’t worry, I’ll always come running whenever I can.”

The figure seems to finish whatever they wanted. They inspect your body closely, paying especially close attention to your heart. They put their cold hand on your chest, forcing your heart to slow down.

“As much as I grew to love this sound, let’s make it a bit quieter.” They move their face toward yours, and your breath hitches from recognition. The glowing, unblinking eyes stare at you for a moment before the figure leans lower and plants a tender kiss on your forehead. “Rest well, Castiel.”

Barbatos’ soft voice lulls you to dreamless sleep, free of nightmares and joy.

Tomorrow is a new day.