Work Text:
He really does not know how to make a difference between them. The darkness, the void has gotten so close to his soul, covering it completly, suffocating it.
The door was a-jar, but in a fanatic moment he opend it, getting outside and letting that... That creature inside him, letting it take his place.
He is shivering in a corner of his mind, unconscious but at the same time he knows what is going on the outside.
They're dying.
Everyone.
And he's the first to go.
He is not dead yet, but not alive even. He is breathing and his body is moving, talking, joking, fooling everyone around, but his mind... His mind is a mess. It is leaking and merging with the mind of the other creature in his body. It lets Stiles take control sometimes, but even then he still is under it's control.
He kills someone. He can feel it. It's like a powerful itch under your finger tips, like they are bathing in blood.
After that his finger tips itch so much that they become numb. He keeps moving them, hoping that he will feel them again. It's an useless effort, really.
He is let outside again when it is poisened.
He goes to Echo House.
He hates it.
He sees a guy kill himself. He can fell a part of him dancing in joy.
He meets Oliver. He's strange and awkward and his hands shake a little bit too much, but he can work with that.
Then he meets Malia. She's beautiful and reckless and jumps without any thought in any problem she can find. She acts on instinct and she likes him.
He likes her. And he can tell that he is most likely not going to survive this adventure.
So
He kisses back when Malia gets so close that he can feel her breath.
He makes love to her.
And after that he let's it take full control.
It wants to play a game with him. He accepts. He plays for his home. His friends.
It plays for amusement. Like it knows that it is gonna win. He can't let it win.
He moves an other piece when...
When he hears it. A powerful howl.
That's
That's Scott!
He is here! Scott is here!
He throws the game because his mind was the first place he lost, but now that Scott is here it means that he has it back.
He wants it back, but...
Something goes wrong.There are two of him now, but in a way they are still merged. It has a mind, but not a soul. A body can not function without a soul.
He is split in two.
He feels sick. His two bodies are like a hourglass: the more you pour into one, the less is in the other. He does not have much. It hurts.
Scott figures it out.
But they don't have much time.
His whole body shakes when he kills Allison. His eyes water when Aiden stops breathing.
It's his fault.
He did it.
He let it inside.
And because of that they are dead.
Lydia is safe, Scott too, his dad also.
He still can't think very well. Malia knows and she tries to help.
His body is cold too, even colder than hers. He looks healthy, he looks good.
He's not.
He can't figure out how to move his limbs anymore. Sometimes his brain confuses the right foot with the left one like he confuses reality with nightmares. He still dreams about it. He does not think that he will ever stop.
Scott sleeps over as much as he can. They play video games and order pizza and Scott cuddles him after.
He is warm.
So warm.
He falls asleep as soon as his head is burried in Scott's warm chest.
Malia is over a lot, like Scott.
She sings him to sleep, gives him massages and cuts him with her claws when he feels like pain is his only anchor to reality, when no one can bring him back from the void in his mind where it has been.
It left a big part of his subconscious empty.
He didn't like to think how it would have been if the others were too late. Everything would gave been empty. He would be just a body with absolutly no ability to function.
He feels like he already is.
Liam comes around and he asks him what he is now.
He says better.
But he is not.
Because It left a huge identity problem over Stiles' shoulders.
He does not feel like a 'he' anymore.
At the same time 'he' is not a she or a them.
He...
He is nothing.
He does not feel like a person, like a human. He is constantly lavitating mentally, drawing paralels between him and it. They became one. And after more that a half suddently dissapears you're left with bits and little pieces that they also aren't a whole. They're like snow, they dissappear once you touch them.
An illusion of solidity.
He is not himself anymore, but he is also not it.
'He' does not know what or who he is.
His morals and personality are getting messed up and it's like he can't fill that void with anything.
He asks Malia for help. She is also messed up in the head. She also feels empty because the coyote was her and now it is not anymore and she also does not know who she is.
They look at each other and say what they see, flaws and perfect bits. They try to figure out who they are through the other's eyes.
Stiles gets better, Malia too.
But after Stiles gets anxious and jumpy.
Malia gets feral and revengeful.
Because the eyes are alright but the processing mechanism they have is a little fucked up.
Malia grew up thinking that soft ment weak and weak ment death.
Stiles grew up trying to protect and in his world 'we can help you' means 'you're not doing it right'.
So they both went down dark paths, but they were still trying to be each other's flashlight.
And then Theo came back to town.