Archive of Our Own ^beta

I miss you so much. I think of you all day and night. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, but the thought of other men looking at you when I’m not there…..makes me violent. 

-Simon “Ghost” Riley letters to Laura Taylor 25/? 

The base was livelier than usual due to a helicopter landing that morning filled with another unit of soldiers. Price had told task force 141 and the doctor that General Shepard wanted this unit to restock on their supplies at the base and catch up on their missing physicals by Dr. Taylor. It was a difficult change of pace, more men in the locker room taking showers and using their supplies. Dr. Taylor couldn’t get a shower that morning due to all the men in there. The kitchen had been raided, all the leftover food that Ghost and Price made the previous night had been eaten in a matter of minutes. The gym was packed full of sweaty topless soldiers, showing off how much they could bench press to impress the others. It felt like there was no peace, except in the med clinic. Dr. Taylor had isolated herself in the clinic after a few soldiers cat-called her, causing her to punch one square in the face, but told him to come to the clinic after he was done whining so she could patch him up. 

Ghost was sitting on the couch in the med clinic, cleaning his pistol as Dr. Taylor was speaking into her headset, having a telehealth appointment with other doctors. He needed somewhere quiet, and he wanted to be close to her. He also didn’t want her alone with so many unfamiliar men in the base. She had already had one fight this morning. These men are trained to kill and if one wanted their way with her in the clinic — he didn’t want to think about it. He had heard how some of them spoke about her; the blonde hottie, blondie, dr. hottie, etc. Of course the men had shut up once they saw Ghost’s intimidating statue. He made the soldiers do 100 push ups for speaking about her like that, and then 100 more if they weren’t exhausted. No one should ever speak about her like that: no one. 

He tried to keep his focus on his gun, his gloved hand holding the cloth as he wiped the gun, but it was already spotless. His brown eyes gazed over to her every so often, just wanting to look at her. She had her back turned to him, her long blonde hair pulled back in a low ponytail resting on her tan tank top. 

“Well, it was good talkin’ to yall too. Oh, yes, yes I am still with a special ops team,” she paused and let out a small laugh. “Yes, it has been difficult but rewarding in its own way. Okay now, talk to yall later. Bye.”

She yanked the headphones off her head, nearly slamming them on her desk and let out a loud sigh. She turned in her chair to face Ghost with a frown on her lips, he held their eye contact. He adored that she never looked away from him. Never saw him as a monster — just saw him as a person. It made his cold heart break a little, and feel almost normal.

“How long are they gonna be here?” She asked him, crossing her legs. 

He shrugged his broad shoulders. “I don’t know. Price would know.”

She raised a brow at him. “But you’re the lieutenant.”

“Price’s in charge,” he simply answered, putting his pistol back into the holder on his bulletproof vest. 

She groaned, crossing her slender bare arms over her chest. “I couldn’t get a shower this mornin’ cause of ‘em. I feel gross.”

She looked fine, better than fine. She always looked good, always put together – always attractive to him. He couldn’t tell her that. The words wouldn’t come out correctly, he would make a fool of himself. 

“You look fine,” he mumbled and she smiled slightly over to him. 

A knock on the door broke their eye contact and she stood up, walking over to the door. Ghost’s hand automatically went to the pistol on his bulletproof vest, a reflex. She opened the door and it was a man he didn’t know. He had on an army uniform with a UK flag on his right arm. The man looked about Ghost’s age, early thirties. He had a clean shaven face, handsome and soft blue eyes – not scarred like his. 

“Doctor? I’m lieutenant Keith Wright with this unit. I was told you could provide the physical for my men,” the man spoke to Laura, but Ghost could see he was looking at her more than talking. His blue eyes moving up and down on her, it made Ghost’s skin crawl. 

“Yes,” she answered. “I can. I just need their files sent to my email and I can get started.”

Lt. Wright’s gaze was fixed on her, and Ghost glared at the man. “Oh, yes, sorry. I can send them to your email. Here, why don’t you write it on this.” The man pulled out a small notebook from the pocket of his uniform with a pen.

Laura took it and turned slightly, using the door as a hard surface to write. Lt. Wright’s gaze was on her, and men know when another man wants someone. The way Lt. Wright looked at her made Ghost’s hands twitch, clench, and ready to punch the man. There wasn’t a longing in his eyes — it was just hunger. Like the man hadn’t seen a woman in months. Ghost slowly stood up causing Lt. Wright to look in his direction, and a surprised expression formed on his face. 

“Oh, sorry soldier didn’t see you.” Lt. Wright chuckled, but Ghost kept his harsh glare on the man. 

Ghost walked over to Laura, standing beside her causing her to look up at him slightly but then back to the notepad. 

“It’s Lieutenant Riley.” He answered, coldly.

Lt. Wright raised a brow at Ghost, silently challenging him. Laura handed him the notepad back and he smiled at her, and Laura gave him a half smile; but it was fake. A polite smile. 

“So, lieutenant you spar?” Lt. Wright asked Ghost.

“Yea,” he answered, his brown eyes never leaving the man.

“Why don’t we show my soldiers how we got our rankings, huh?” Lt. Wright’s arrogant voice was only annoying to Ghost. He wanted nothing more than to punch the man right here, but he knew he couldn’t. 

Ghost only nodded. “Gym. Be there in ten minutes.”

“Sounds good to me,” Lt. Wright looked over to Laura who had her tan arms crossed over her chest. “Doctor. Hope you’ll watch me put your boy in the ground.”

Laura let out a low chuckle, uncomfortably. Lt. Wright walked down the hallway, leaving Laura and Ghost alone in the doorway. Laura turned slightly, her arm brushing against his clothed one but he didn’t flinch from the touch – his focus was on the man walking down the hallway.

“Why did you agree to that?” She asked him.

He didn’t answer her. 

“I’m gonna have a busy day with all these soldiers. I don’t need to patch you up too,” she said and he finally looked down at her.  Her soft green hues met his brown ones. 

“You won’t.” No, she won’t but she will need to clean up Lt. Wright.

The gym was packed with Lt’ Wright’s soldiers, along with the men from task force 141. Ghost was leaning against the wall, his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. His fingers drummed against his biceps, waiting patiently for Lt. Wright to show up. Laura wasn't in the room, and for once he was happy she wasn't in his line of view. He didn't want her anywhere near this many strangers. He didn't trust any of these men, and he knew how soldiers were around women, these men hadn't seen a woman in months. And now, they were about to be in a high testosterone setting. Soap walked over to Ghost, a huge smile on his tan face. Ghost glanced over at him for a moment but then returned his attention to the door, waiting for Lt. Wright. 

“You gonna give us a show, Lt. ?” he questioned Ghost.

Ghost didn’t answer, causing Soap to frown slightly at the man. Finally, Lt. Wright walked in and his blue eyes met Ghost’s brown ones. Ghost uncrossed his arms and walked toward the center of the gym, the soldiers had formed a circle leaving a big enough circle for the two of them. Lt. Wright walked into the circle and extended his arms out. 

“You wanna show my boys how we lieutenants do it?” Lt. Wright asked, keeping his gaze on Ghost.

Ghost didn’t answer with words, only lifting his arms up in a fighting stance.

Lt. Wright smirked at Ghost, raising his arms up too. The men stared at one another, waiting for the other to throw the first punch. Ghost moved slightly to side and Lt. Wright did the same. Ghost's brown hues stared at the man. He needed to teach this man a lesson, a hard one. Lt. Wright let out a chuckle and punched his arm out toward Ghost, but Ghost grabbed his arm by the elbow, pushing the man away. Lt. Wright catch his balance and smirked at the man, and punched toward him but Ghost blocked it and tried to hook a punch under the man's chin, Lt. Wright moved out of his way just in time.

“Not bad,” Keith said to Ghost, dodging another punch from Ghost. 

The two punched and dodged one another with ease, testing each other’s skill. Ghost could feel the eyes of the recruits on him, but he only wanted Laura to look at him. He knew she wasn't in here, but he could pretend that she was. If she was watching him, it would give him the strength to finish off this trash so he can pretend that she is behind him. He didn’t care about anyone else. It was like being a kid again, wanting to impress the girl you liked in grade school in any way possible. 

“I’m gonna wipe the floor with you and then take that blondie doctor back to my bas-“ before Keith could finish, Ghost landed a punch right in his face, breaking his nose. Ghost smirked under his mask, that shut him up.

Lt. Wright stepped back, his hands touching his nose and the blood gushing out onto his face. A few recruits ohh and awed at the sight. Ghost kept his harsh gaze on the sergeant. Keith shook his head, wiping the blood off his face. 

“Don’t like that I talk about her?” Lt. Wright said, making Ghost’s gaze harden. “I don’t blame you. If I had someone that hot on my team I wouldn’t want any other man talking about her.” 

Lt. Wright punched at Ghost's face, but Ghost blocked it with his hand. Ghost’s attention drifted from Lt. Wright for a split second because he spotted Laura behind the man, speaking with Soap. What was she doing in here!? His guard was down -- just a second. Lt. Wright must have noticed, because the man kicked Ghost hard in the knee, causing Ghost to nearly fall back but he balanced himself. 

“You really letting a woman distract you?” Lt. Wright mocked him. “I get it. She’s easy on the eyes, bet she is even better with no clothes on. But let’s be honest,” he paused and punched at Ghost’s shoulder, Ghost dodged it by moving to the left. “How could a woman like that ever want someone like you?”

Those words ignited something deep in Ghost, like a match was dropped in a forest. Ghost didn’t speak, and Lt. Wright tried to punch him in the face. Ghost easily dodged it, and grabbed the man’s arm, twisting it behind his back causing the man to yelp in pain. Ghost ignored his pleas and cries even when he heard soft snaps and pops in the man’s arm. The fire was growing in his body as he watched the man twist and turn in agony. He finally released the man after a solid three minutes, kicking him in the back. Keith fell straight on his face, groaning in pain.

“Medic” a soldier called out and Dr. Taylor walked over, giving a short glare at Ghost.

He didn’t like that look she gave him. He felt guilty now. Maybe he was too hard on him. But, he couldn’t stand to hear that man talk about her like that. If she knew what he had been saying all day she wouldn’t look at him like that. 

Dr. Taylor helped the man to sit up, and started to assess his body. Lt Wright’s face was covered in his own blood from his broken nose but the man kept his gaze on Ghost.

“Broken nose, possibly sprained arm but you’ll live but you need to come into my office to get some bandages and painkillers,” Laura said to the man. He smirked over to Ghost as Laura placed her hands on his back, assessing for any major bruises. 

Ghost hated seeing her hands on that man, even if she was helping him. It still made him furious. Ghost turned his back on them, and pushed soldiers out of his way to the door. He needed some fresh air, now.

Ghost was leaning against the wall beside the med clinic. After smoking a pack of cigarettes, he felt calmer and ready to explain himself to Laura even though he felt like he didn't need to. He did what any man would do for a woman; he defended her. It wasn't with words, but with his fists like any solider would do for someone they cared for. Shit. He closed his eyes. He did care for her. She was making all this so complicated. He hadn't cared for another like her in a long time, not after his family was killed; getting close to someone was dangerous. People die. Those we care about can die tomorrow, and they are gone just like that. He had thought being alone was the best, but now? Well, it was complicated that is for sure.

Ghost could hear Lt. Wright's voice behind the closed door. He hated knowing he was in there alone with Laura.

"Come on, we can go out tonight. I know a place," Lt. Wright said, his voice muffled from the closed door.

Ghost could hear Laura's uncomfortable laughter, and a polite "i'm not interested". That statement made Ghost's entire body relax. She wasn't interested in Lt. Wright, that was a victory in itself. However, Ghost thought about what Lt. Wright said to him during their sparring match 'how could a woman want someone like you'. Those words had stung him, even if he tried to tell himself it didn't matter. Lt. Wright was handsome, while Ghost was so badly scarred he hadn't looked at himself in the mirror since the incident. Laura had no idea what he even looked like, so there had to be some truth in his words. Women wanted handsome men, that's the simple truth. And he was once handsome, but now?

The med clinic door opened and Lt. Wright walked out, looking over at Ghost.  The man had a bandage wrapped around his nose, cotton balls in his nostrils and a sling on his arm. Ghost had really hurt him, more than he thought he did. They didn't say a word to one another, and Lt. Wright walked down the hallway. Ghost stood up straight uncrossing his arms and walked toward the door, but Laura was standing in the doorway with a frown on her tan face. He hated seeing that expression on her face.

“Was all that really necessary?” She asked Ghost who refused to make eye contact with her, his gaze was past her shoulder focusing on the wall. "You broke the man's nose and sprained his arm."

“Yea.” He spoke quietly. “It was.” 

“Really? I find that hard to believe,” her voice was stern. “And hanging out by the door while he was in here with me.”

Ghost didn’t say a word to her, refusing to look at her. What could he say? That he was worried? That he wanted to know if she wanted that man? How could he say it without offending her? Or worse, make himself look like a fool?

“Seemed kinda personal to me,” she spoke again, walking in front of him trying to make him look at her but he directed his gaze to the side. He couldn’t look at her, he wanted to, but the guilt was gnawing at him. 

“Are you really ignoring me? I thought you liked our eye contact,” her words made him look down to her, those words made his veins feel like they were on fire. 

A smirk grew on her lips. “Ah. That’s better,” her soft green eyes on him. “Why was it so personal?”

He didn’t break their eye contact. “I’m not sayin’ “ 

She frowned. “Fine, keep your secrets.” She crossed her slender arms over her chest. “Still don’t think you should have broken his nose.” 

“I did what I needed,” he answered simply. He would never tell her what he said about her. Never. No matter how much she tried to get the answer out of him. 

“Hm.” She broke their eye contact, looking down at her feet. But then her hand rested on his bicep and her touch made him flinch slightly. He looked down to her hand and then back to her face. But he relaxed in a matter of seconds. He hated to admit to himself, but was growing fond of her soft touch. Her hand felt so soft on his arm, her slender fingers on his black hoodie. "Thanks. He was a creep."

His eyes widened slightly and he looked over to her, holding eye contact with her. So she knew? 

Her hand slowly left his arm, and he tried to reach up to grab hers but his fingers curled into his fist. He should never touch her. She’s too clean. She’s too perfect. She shouldn’t even touch him, he’s so unclean. He lowered his gloved hand back to his side in defeat. 

"You didn't think he was handsome?" The words escaped him before he could stop himself. Laura blinked up at him and chuckled to herself, leaning against the door frame.

"Why are you asking me?" A soft smile on her face. "Did you think he was?"

"Isn't that what you women like?" He desperately needed her to answer him. His heart was crawling up his throat, it felt bad to breathe.

The smile disappeared on her face. "Not all women just want a handsome face, you know that right?"

His heart dropped from his throat, and he could finally breathe again. He didn't know what to say, but he held their eye contact.

"Some women like scars, you know?" Her green hues looked softer when she spoke to him. "Some like men who don't even show their face."

His chest felt heavy and his heart was crawling up his throat once again -- he needed to breathe. He hated how she made him feel; weak and vulnerable. He was trained to kill, to be heartless and a ruthless machine but when he was in her presence, it all disappeared. It was like being a child back on the playground, desperately trying to get his crush's attention by any means necessary. He wanted to grab her arms, pull her toward him and kiss her --- kiss her till she couldn't breathe.

"What kind of woman are you?" He breathed down to her and she smiled up at him, his chest felt like it was going to concave on itself.

"You already know how I feel about your mask. And I like men with scars," she kept their eye contact as she spoke. "It's sexy too, like they have seen more of life than other men. They have a story to tell."

He smiled slightly under his mask. Yea, he knew but he liked to hear her say it. He was quiet as they looked at one another. She broke their eye contact and stood up straight, standing in front of him. 

"As much I like talking with you. I really need to finish these charts on those soldiers," he nodded back to her clinic and Ghost nodded. "Hopefully those men will be gone in the morning and we can be back to normal."

"Yea," he answered. Back to normal, that's what he wanted. No more eyes on her, expect for him. As it should be.