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Chapter Text

Nakamura was certain God made him for shits and giggles.

It's been three days since he found out Hirose and Hanna are dating. Three days of trying to be happy for them. The keyword being "trying" as he has consistently bawled his eyes out every night since. He thanks his past self for choosing this hairstyle. Covering his puffy eyes has never been easier!

As he mentally high-fived himself he noticed his crush enter the class. Hanna was right by his side, wishing him a good day before rushing off to her own classroom. Hirose smiled at her as she ran off. Those big brown eyes creasing up. They rolled when his friends 'oooo'd at him. Cheeks dusted a light pink hue as he shoved a hand in his pocket. Even when annoyed he looked so pretty. Nakamura could never win.

Barely a minute later, Mr. Otogori had begun the class. Nakamura went through the motions, glancing continuously at Hirose. He looked happy, didn't he?

As if by clockwork, Nakamura began with his philosophical monologues about happiness and peace in all of the two minutes since class began.

And he wondered why he was God's favourite fool.

Nakamura was snapped out of his thoughts when Hirose turned to look at him. Startled, Nakamura straightened up. Why was Hirose looking at him? Momentarily, his hopes soared. "Nakamura!" and were promptly crushed without mercy. Mr. Otogori had called his name. And if the mortifying amount of eyes on him was anything to go by, it was not the first time he had done so. Nakamura swiftly stood up straight, knocking his chair out behind him. "Here!" he squeaked, voice cracking.

The room buzzed from the embarrassing display. Some of the boys were laughing at him while the girls were reminded of how dumb boys were for the nth time that day. Mr. Otogori was, overall, fairly disappointed. And just like that, Nakamura lost a little bit of his totally not made-up dignity before 9 a.m. A noteworthy achievement for the shy boy.

"You can sit down," Mr. Otogori hummed. Nakamura sat down robotically, almost forgetting to pick up his chair beforehand. Before his head could begin taking the express route to the 7th circle of anxiety hell, someone standing next to Mr. Otogori drew his attention. "Your seat is behind his," Mr. Otogori turned to that person with a smile. "Everyone, be sure to give Sasaki a warm welcome," their professor addressed the class. Nakamura couldn’t hear him though. His attention now laser-focused on this new face.

Sasaki beamed at the class and oh lord, Nakamura was certain he just saw the gates of heaven. Sasaki was nothing short of unfairly handsome. He was tall. With a lean body and long legs. A sharp jaw and clear skin. With a straight nose and full brows, he looked like he could be the main love interest in a BL manga. Saski's eyes took the shape of crescent moons as he smiled, a singular beauty spot beside his right eye, the singular star on his face. His frizzy hair was longer in the back, the fringe tastefully feathered to still see his eyes as he bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you all," he said and oh God even his voice was smooth as honey.

It was painfully clear to see how half the class had already fallen in love. All the girls were staring at him with dreamy eyes. The guys were split 50/50 between thinking the new guy was cool to thinking him as a threat. Nakamura, paradoxically, was both. He hated the guy for being so good-looking. He was handsome enough to even be at Hirose’s level. But having too nice of a smile to hate him fully. Ah, the age-old struggle of a homosexual. To be with him or become him, as Shakespeare probably said once. Nakamura, admittedly, was barely passing English but hey, it’s the thought that counts. And boy was Nakamura thinking. How could he possibly compete with him? A boy this pretty even Hirose might-

Oh.

Wait, that's right.

Nakamura paused his gay panic/seething session to look over to Hirose.

He has a girlfriend.

Nakamura spent that day much like every other. Paying attention in class while occasionally looking at Hirose. By the time lunch rolled around, Nakamura had calmed down considerably. His thoughts were no longer consumed by the possibilities this new boy rose. But instead with Hirose and his girlfriend, and how happy they always looked. As per usual, Hanna had dropped by as soon as the bell rang. Nakamura observed her as she made her way over to Hirose. Her smile was bright. The flower clip she always wore complimented her lighter brown eyes nicely. She was perfect. No doubt more than enough for Hirose. For whenever she approached, Hirose seemed to glow. Nakamura felt content. At peace even as he watched them. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a moment, collecting himself. It was another peaceful day, wasn’t it?

Well, that’s apparently too boring for whatever evil thing was watching over Nakamura, for in the next second he almost leaped out of his seat. A pathetic yelp tumbled from his poor body as he momentarily spasmed from the coldness against the back of his neck. Nakamura quickly turned, about to give whatever that was a piece of his mind before pausing. “Huh?” he asked intelligently as he stared up at the boy before him.

"Nakamura, right?" Sasaki asked with a friendly smile. “Sorry about that, I wasn’t sure how else to get your attention,” he chuckled sheepishly.

The shy boy just nodded, a hand on his neck in an attempt to quell the coldness there. “I see,” he managed to whisper out.

Sasaki leaned in closer over his desk. “Say, want to go somewhere for lunch together? I was hoping to see a bit more of the school,” he chirped, looking at Nakamura with excitement. While Sasaki’s eyes were monolids, like Nakamura’s, they were far more expressive than the shy boy’s. Nakamura couldn’t pull himself away from them as he nodded dumbly. “Great! Let's go!” And with that Nakamura barely managed to snatch his own lunch before being dragged away by the transfer student.

What…just happened?

The following five minutes were spent repetitively. Sasaki would ask him what a room was, and Nakamura would answer curtly, and then spend a moment of silence before Sasaki asked about another room. Nakamura was very nervous. Extremely so. It’s not like he hasn’t been dragged around like this before. In fact, it’s happened a concerning number of times. But it’s never been by someone so…friendly? Mildly pushy, sure, but still friendly. And pretty, could not forget that. In fact, that’s likely why he was having such a hard time talking. Did he really want to appear better than he was in front of this boy?

Before long, they had ended up on the roof. Here, a fair amount of students had settled in to eat. Sasaki spotted a bench in the corner. “Let’s go there,” he suggested, already walking towards the spot. Nakamura followed, noting their height difference as they went. Sasaki was a few inches taller than he was. By no means the tallest person in school, but it was enough for Nakamura to clearly notice it. Sasaki settled down on the left of the bench, patting the space beside him as a gesture for Nakamura to sit down.

When he did he began unpacking his lunch. He was slowly getting lost in his own thoughts. He wondered how Hirose was doing. If the couple was being teased too much. Maybe Hirose’s friends were poking fun at him for letting Hanna feed him. Or maybe they were encouraging him to ask her out to one of those suspense movies Hirose liked.
“Do you like that boy?”

Huh?

Nakamura snapped his head up to Sasaki. The taller boy was smiling at him calmly. Long gone was that puppy dog excitement. He looked as though he had it all figured out. A detective seeking confirmation of the facts he had already gathered. “I-” Nakamura stuttered. What could he say to that? This boy was basically a stranger. He should deny it, right? “I don’t like boys!” he said, maybe a bit too loudly, others on the roof momentarily looking over. Wincing, Nakamura lowered his voice. “What makes you think I’m gay? I’m not gay. And I definitely don’t like Hirose. I-”

“Woah okay, slow down,” Sasaki laughed, waving a hand as Nakamura began rambling. “I’m not going to judge you for it,” he told him. “I mean, that would basically be betraying my own,” the boy hummed.

That caused Nakamura to pause. “What?”

“I like boys too,” Sasaki beamed. “And girls, actually,” he confessed.

Nakamura gawked at him. “Why…are you telling me this?” he asked, confused as to what possible motives this boy could have.

“Because I want to help,” Sasaki chirped, back to those puppy eyes brimming with excitement.

The shy boy frowned, “Huh? But I barely know who you are?”

Sasaki waved a hand. “I know, I know, but it could be a fun way to get to know each other too! And-” the taller leaned in closer, “-it’s painfully obvious you like him,” Sasaki giggled.

Nakamura sputtered, “What? No, it isn’t!”

“So you just stare at everyone like that?” Sasaki raised a playful brow at him.

“I-” Well, he got him there. “Whatever, and I don’t need your help,” Nakamura insisted. “Plus-” he looked down at his hands. Fingers curling around each other. “-he has a girlfriend”

“Oh, I think you’ve misunderstood me”

Nakamura looked up in surprise. “What do you-”

“I don’t want to help you get with him,” Sasaki grinned. “I want to help you get over him!” he declared.

Ah, the job of God’s fool sure was a tough one.

Chapter Text

It’s been a day since Sasaki had offered his help to Nakamura. The shy boy had asked for time to think first. Of course, after making Sasaki promise to tell no one about their conversation. The taller agreed with ease, happily bouncing back to the classroom once they had finished their lunch. Ever since then Sasaki hadn’t tried to approach him again. Instead, spending his hours talking to others in class. It seemed like by the time 24 hours had passed he had managed to befriend a third of the class. Nakamura really couldn’t get a read on that guy. He was strange and maybe a bit too friendly. But…

No. Nakamura could handle this on his own! He didn’t need help from a stranger!

Determined to do this by himself he set his own goal for today. No staring at Hirose! From now till the end of the day he was forbidden from ever looking at him unless necessary. If what Sasaki said was true, then someone else could’ve definitely noticed his starring by now. Maybe Hirose himself had noticed it too! Hirose was way too understanding of a person to ever bring it up too. Gosh, if it turns out his intense staring had been noticed he was definitely shipping himself to heaven by the end of the day.

Nakamura had come later than usual. The reason? Avoid being around Hirose as much as possible. Since they were in the same class this was mostly impossible. But that doesn’t mean he can’t try his utmost to do so. As soon as he entered the room, he encountered his first dilemma. Hirose was playing around with his friends. They were fairly loud too. And Hirose was laughing. Ah, such a clear sound. It calmed his nerves almost instantly.

Until another laugh was heard. A deeper and far more unwelcome one. Sasaki was watching Nakamura. He raised his brow as if to say to the shorter boy ‘see? You need my help’. Nakamura swiftly snapped out of it. Huffing, he stomped past Hirose and his friends and sat right down. Sasaki chuckled behind him, “Good morning, Nakamura,” he hummed in a teasing tone.

“Good morning,” Nakamura grumbled, not wanting to even look at that handsome face. Filled with new determination, Nakamura took to doodling before class instead. He wasn’t the best artist out there, but he had some skill. He absentmindedly drew away. As he did, he continued to think about Hirose. He could still befriend him. There was some hope in that, right? So his goal hasn’t really changed. Really, why was he so upset by this? It isn’t like he ever had a shot to begin with. Yep, he can just silently get over him like this. That’s exactly what he was going to do.

“You’re even drawing him now?”

That’s exactly what he was not going to do.

“Gah,” Nakamura backed away from Sasaki. “I wasn’t drawing him,” he hissed.

The taller of the two tossed him a sly look. “Oh?” he snickered, sliding over to Nakamura’s desk. “What’s this then?” Sasaki asked as he tapped on the paper. All over that corner were doodles of Hirose.
Nakamura flushed, “I-I didn’t-” oh wow he was down BAD.

Sasaki laughed, covering the doodles with his palm. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything,” he reassured him. Before Nakamura could chew him out for laughing at him like that a girl had slid up beside Sasaki.

“Sasaki, come on. The others want to know if you want to come to that karaoke place with us today,” she whined, tugging at his arm.

Sasaki grinned at her, “Wah, I like the sound of that,” he turned to Nakamura. “Would you-”

“Great! Let’s go tell them!” she exclaimed, already dragging him away. With a surprised sound, Sasaki was dragged off. Nakamura huffed. Good, Sasaki deserved to be dragged away. See how it feels. Looking down at his paper he tore off the corner and crumpled it up. Before he could grumble more about that weirdo Sasaki and his weirdo observations, Mr. Otogiri made a timely entrance.

And so class began.

Simultaneously, Nakamura’s battle continued. As it turned out, it was incredibly hard not to look at Hirose. He never realised just how often he did so till right now. Was he really that big of a creep? No, admiring someone wasn’t creepy. But…so much of his day involved Hirose. From the moment he entered school to the second he fell asleep. All he could think about was Hirose. No that he was complaining, there were worse things to be thinking about. Still, it was a bit of a surprise to Nakamura. Thinking about Hirose, watching him, became just as routine as breathing. Before long, he found himself looking at Hirose again.

No, wait, stop that.

Nakamura looked back to the front of the class. Eyes lit with a fierce determination. His gaze was so strong it even made their teacher flinch. Nakamura spent the rest of class furiously taking notes and working on the assigned work whenever he wasn’t trying to watch up with notes. And if he heard a giggle from behind him, no he didn’t.

The next period was much the same. He’d get lost in thought, realize he was looking at Hirose, and distract himself with school work as much as possible. By the time lunch rolled around, Nakamura had successfully convinced all of his teachers that he was determined to get the best grade in the class. A feat that left them all very emotional. Even Mr. Otogiri had been taken aback by his work ethic. Before long, Nakamura had all but exhausted his brain before school ended, hand cramping from the insane amount of notes he had taken.

Sasaki whistled behind him, “Woah Nakamura, are you usually this studious?” the weasel asked, having gotten a hold of Nakamura’s notes. “Mind if I copy some of these? They’re so in depth,” he hummed.

Nakamura just let out an unintelligible groan. His head hit the desk as soon as the bell rang.

“Thank you,” Sasaki sang as he took the notes over to his own desk.
However, Nakamura was too far gone to even understand what just happened. Completely tuckered out he began imagining what it’ll be like to continue this for the rest of the day. Much less for tomorrow. And the day after that! Distracting himself with school work just didn’t seem sustainable! He would be way too tired to think, much less finish his homework. And if he didn’t finish his homework he wouldn’t be able to read his manga. Or maybe even play with Icchan!

“I want to help you get over him!”

Nakamura sat back up. No. He couldn’t just give up! He had to do this. He had to. Because if he couldn’t do this. If he doesn’t distract himself. Then he’ll really be hopeless. No, he can weather this alone. He most definitely can. It’s just a silly crush anyway, how hard can it be to get over it?

He could hear Hirose chatting in the background. Hanna’s dainty laugh followed soon after. Nakamura didn’t have to look over to know what they looked like. He had to do this.

For them.

“Here you go, Nakamura,” Sasaki’s friendly voice snapped him out of it. “Thanks for letting me borrow these,” he beamed. Nakamura nodded. Sasaki stayed beside his desk for a beat longer than needed. The taller of the two looked like he wanted to say something. But before he could even try, his name was being called elsewhere. “Ah, I have to go. See you in a bit,” he waved before going over to the small group of friends he was slowly gathering.

“What were you doing, Sasaki?”

“Oh, just returning some notes”

And just like that, Nakamura was left by his lonesome again.

The day continued, and Nakamura wore himself down more with every class. That is until P.E. came. Nakamura was barely conscious enough to stand, much less do anything during class. They were playing basketball today. Or at least Nakamura assumes they were. There was a ball, he thinks? He isn’t sure, but there aren’t any rackets so at least he knows it isn’t badminton.

“Jeez, you look awful Nakamura,” Sasaki commented as he stood up after the explanation.

“Hmfgh,” was Nakamura’s extremely intelligible reply.

“You sure you don’t want to sit out?” he asked, concern clearly written on his face. As Nakamura shook his head Sasaki shrugged. “Okay, but if you feel bad, you should tell the teacher,” he suggested before running off to join the other boys.

Nakamura moved like an apparition. Slowly trudging in the background and making a sudden appearance when you least expected. They were divided into two groups. Nakamura is pretty sure it’s basketball now judging by the fact that the ball is in fact orange. Great observational skills, Nakamura. Sadly, that’s where his skills came to a stop. He was too tuckered out to run after the ball. He thinks he heard an exasperated “Nakamura!” thrown his way after failing to dribble the ball but he isn’t sure. All he knows is that after the first game, no one really passed to him anymore. And by the second, no one came near him. By the third, he got the golden opportunity to sit on the bench. He swayed even while sitting, eyes struggling to stay open.

“Nakamura?” an angel. He must’ve died. Thank goodness he was going to heaven. “Hey, Nakamura,” ah, it was even touching him. Such a warm hand. He didn’t know angels could be so warm. “Nakamura!” Hey wait, an angel shouldn’t shake the dead.

Shaking his head, Nakamura looked up to find the culprit was none other than Hirose. His brows furrowed with concern. His hands clutching to his shoulders as he shook him. “Are you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out,” he stated, looking him over.

Nakamura was quiet for a moment.

Oh.

“I’m okay,” he reassured Hirose. “I’m just tired,” he waved a hand dismissively.

Hirose hummed, “I don’t know man, you really don’t look good,” he reiterated. “You sure you aren’t sick?” Nakamura felt a warm hand against his forehead. “Hm, you don’t seem to have a fever,” Hirose mumbled. Nakamura wanted to laugh.

How cruel.

“See?” Nakamura moved Hirose’s hand away from his forehead. “I’m fine,” he reassured him again with a small smile.

Hirose still looked sceptical but didn’t want to push it. “If you say so,” he sighed. “Well, don’t push yourself, okay Nakamura?” he smiled. “Gym class is almost over so hang in there!” and with that small encouragement, he went off to play again.

And Nakamura was left behind.

Gym class came to a close. Everyone went to get dressed again before packing their things. Some were planning on staying behind to study. Sasaki, however, was not that studious but was instead very slow. “Hurry up, Sasaki!” one of the boys in the group called as they waited by the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, hold on!” he called out after them, shoving his notebooks in his bag. He was about to lift his bag over his shoulder when a hand was placed on top of it. Sasaki paused. Looking towards the owner he frowned, “Nakamura?” The boy didn’t answer. “I see,” he turned to look at his friends waiting by the doorway. “You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up,” he beamed.

“Fine, don’t take too long!”
Turning back to Nakamura, Sasaki’s smile grew kinder. “Let’s go somewhere more quiet,” he offered. The two walked to the roof. Droves of students walked under them. Sasaki turned to Nakamura. “Well?”

The shorter of the two was quiet. Staring down at the ground as he had done ever since Gym class.

“Nakamura?” Sasaki asked, growing concerned.

A small sound could be heard. Nothing Sasaki could understand. Walking closer Sasaki tilted his head, “What was that?”

Nakamura spoke again. But his voice was carried away by the wind.

“Nakamura, you’re going to have to-”

“Help me”

Sasaki paused. “Help you?”

“You offered, right?” Nakamura asked, still not looking up. “So help me. Help me get over him,” he pleaded. A sniffle gave him away. The taller gripped his bag tighter. It felt…so familiar. At Sasaki’s silence, Nakamura opened his mouth again.

“Please”

It almost broke his heart how small and fragile that sound was. After a beat of silence, Nakamura felt a hand on his shoulder. The same shoulder Hirose had touched before. The hand wasn’t as warm as his. But it was bigger and more firm. It stayed on him, not out of concern, but support.

“Okay,” Sasaki agreed, a warm smile on his face. “I’ll help you get rid of that crush of yours,” the handsome boy announced. “After all, what are friends for?”

With that, Nakamura found himself a new friend.

Chapter Text

A day passed. After agreeing to Sasaki's help, he was instructed to bring a notebook, a pencil, and an eraser to the local library after school. Nakamura was, naturally, a little scared. Why would he need all of that just to get over a crush? Nakamura grew more and more suspicious throughout the day. The intense stares from Sasaki did nothing but make him even more anxious. Whenever he asked Sasaki about what he had planned, Nakamura would get a very suspicious "Oh, you'll see" back. Not only that but Sasaki always looked so serious about it too. Nakamura was starting to think he made a huge mistake. Well, at least he could take it a little easy on himself. Allowing himself to gaze at Hirose every now and then. He was doing this for him. So he could be genuinely happy for Hirose. He knew Hirose deserved at least that much.

So he went along with it.

As soon as school ended, Sasaki all but vanished. Nakamura blinked and he was gone. Some thought he was an apparition for a second for how fast he left. "What's gotten into him?" one of Sasaki's friends mumbled. Nakamura had a Very Bad Feeling. But, he was the one who asked for this, so there was no backing out now. With a long sigh, Nakamura began making his way out of class, but not before taking the chance to stare longingly at Hirose. His girlfriend had come out to meet him again. Already tugging at his arm. Hirose, embarrassed, was waving off his friends as he was dragged away. Nakamura didn’t stay to see which way they went.

Biking made the library a much shorter trek. He had never seen Sasaki come with a bike, making the boy’s speed more impressive. Walking in, he looked around, uneasy. Whispering a short greeting to the librarian when she welcomed him. Nakamura carefully looked through the isles. There were many different genres displayed. From history to science fiction. Anything and everything anyone could ever want. Nakamura couldn’t help but note how a small section in the romance aisle. So small he could’ve missed it. It read “Same sex”. Before he could ponder it for long a pair of hands covered his eyes and mouth. In an instant he was dragged away somewhere.

This was it. This is how he was going to die. In a library. Right next to the gay section. How fitting.

Alas, when the hands were pulled away from his eyes he did not see heaven nor hell. No, he saw something far worse. An over-excited Sasaki with a whiteboard stood before him. Maybe if Nakamura closed his eyes again he’d actually die. He’d prefer that to the glaring title on the whiteboard. One so big he was certain it was visible from space. Written in bold, blue and black letters were the words “Sasaki’s Guide To Getting Over A Crush!”

This was going to be a very long day.

“Nakamura, my pupil, as your designated love connoisseur I shall teach you the ways of the heart,” Sasaki began. Was he always this dramatic? Then again, the boy did seem very interested in theatrics. Always one of the loudest voices in the room. Nakamura is certain he’ll die of embarrassment. Sasaki continued on, ignoring his poor friend’s plight. “Now, there are many ways to get over someone,” the boy settled on one of the seats, whiteboard balancing on his hip as he gripped the top with his other hand. “Much like shoes, there is not a one-size-fits-all solution for this,” Sasaki’s smile had come down from its hectic high. Now, the boy was talking in his usual voice, the novelty of the situation having washed over him and retreated back into his seas of various emotions. “That is the reason why we must try as many things as possible,” Nakamura nodded along, having (begrudgingly) taken out his notebook to jot things down. “To start us off, I’ll be going over ten of the possible ways to do this. Keep in mind I compiled all of them through trial and error so you’re already getting the best of the best here,” Sasaki began writing things down on the whiteboard.

“First!” the boy pointed to the words he had just written. “Find a new hobby,” Sasaki grinned as though he had not just said something horrific.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, just find a new hobby”

“Uh huh…and if I don’t?”

“You will”

Suddenly Nakamura didn’t feel so safe. “Okay but I already have hobbies. And how does this help me anyway?” he asked, looking very uncomfortable.

Sasaki grinned, “Well, it certainly takes your thoughts away from that person doesn’t it?” he asked. “C’mon, just give it a try. Not only can it help you get over them, but you can also learn something new,” he encouraged, jotting down those two points and putting little stars on them. Nakamura groaned but eventually made peace with the fact that he was stuck with this delusional weirdo who thinks hobbies are just easy to grab and start.

“Fine, but how would I even know where to start?” he asked, already feeling tired from all the possibilities.

“Easy,” Sasaki chirped. “The good part about being in school is that we have clubs,” he suggested. “Of course, I won’t just drop you at one by yourself, I’ll join too,” the boy promised. Nakamura, while sceptical, did end up agreeing to try it.

Fiddling with his pencil, Nakamura asked, “Are all the ways going to be this…big?” he asked, uncertain of what the next ones will entail if this was the first thing Sasaki would tell him.

The pretty boy waved a hand, “Nah, don’t worry, I have a little bit of everything,” he reassured him. “For example, number two, getting together with friends,” he spoke as he jotted down the next step. “This one’s easy, I can just take you with me when I go with mine,” he hummed.

Nakamura frowned, “You’re making it sound like I don’t have friends of my own”

“Do you have friends of your own?”

“...Well no but it still hurts when you assume”

Sasaki snickered, “Whatever you say Nakamura,” and with that he began writing his next point. “If that’s the case, maybe we can try number three, ‘Writing out your feelings in a letter and burning it’,”

Now it was really getting strange. “Hey, you aren’t in the research of the occult club are you?” he asked, hearing the laugh of a certain girl in his head. Woah, he was getting shivers already.

The boy gasped, “We have an occult club?!” to which he was promptly glared at and silently shamed by everyone around them. Sasaki bowed, whispering apologies before turning to Nakamura again. “We have an occult club?!” He re-stated in a whisper yell.

Nakamura had the sneaking suspicion he just said something he shouldn’t have. “I’ll tell you later. Can you tell me why this is on the list?” he asked, seriously suspicious about what Sasaki was trying to do.

Sasaki tapped his chin, “Well, it’s meant to be a way to let go. Sometimes, when you write your feelings, it can help them feel less heavy,” he explained, albeit a bit clunky. Huh, so Sasaki was capable of such a thought.

“That is surprisingly thoughtful,” Nakamura noted. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as he first thought. That did sound like a good suggestion too. He has never actually told anyone about how deep his feelings were. It could be nice to make them known. Put them out there somehow, before he lets go. A sort of parting with them. After all, they have been with him for quite a while now.

The boy jutted his thumb towards himself, “See, I have great ideas. Like number four, movie night”

And he’s ruined it.

Oh well, Nakamura supposes it’s his own fault for holding such high expectations after that. “Movie night by myself or-”

“No silly, together of course. The more distractions the better,” there was a determined look in his eyes. Yeah, Nakamura wasn’t going to get out of this one.

“Okay, what are the other steps?”

“Baking. Now, I know I said I’d accompany you through this but if you want to do this one alone, that’s fine by me. I know I get grouchy when people get in my way in the kitchen,” Sasaki admitted, smiling sheepishly.

Nakamura had to agree there. He quite enjoyed cooking, but he hadn’t exactly played around with baking too much. Even then, he has been known to kick everyone out of the kitchen till he was done. From his younger sister to even his own mother. When he was in the zone, he was not to be disturbed. If this whole baking thing works out maybe he could even kill two birds with one stone. A hobby and stress relief. The dream.

“Oh, and for number six, all you have to do is check an item off your bucket list,” Sasaki began writing on the board again, placing a little heart next to the suggestion. “It can be anything, big or small, as long as you accomplish something you’ve always wanted to do. It keeps you pretty busy, not only deciding what to do, but how to do it. You’ll be way too excited to think about that person at all,” Sasaki chirped. He seemed particularly enthusiastic about this one. “You know, you could also take a buddy with you too”

There it is.

Honestly, was this guy just a freeloader? What is it with him and trying to weasel his way into every activity? Well, Nakamura supposes it’s only fair. He did ask for help, and it would make sense for the person helping him to be present. But just how much aid would he need with movies, much less doing something he’s wanted to do. Oh well, he can figure that out later. “Would that buddy pitch in too?”

“Oh of course, I could even pay for the whole thing,” Sasaki offered, much to Nakamura’s surprise. Seeing this, Sasaki softened his gaze again. “I’m here to help you, remember? If it takes a few yen to get you out of this then it’s a small price to pay,” he smiled warmly. It was the kind of smile that could light up a heart. Keep it warm for the winter. The type of smile someone far older than him would wear. Nakamura shook his head, snapping himself out of the trance. He could barely get a breath in when Sasaki continued. “Now, stay with me, number seven is to work on a project”

“Like a school project?” Nakamura asked, tilting his head to the side, confused.

The taller boy sucked in a breath, “Mm, not quite. Though it could be. Just about anything goes, really. As long as it’s something you can do for multiple days,” Sasaki clarified.

Nakamura paused for a moment before tentatively asking, “Could reading be considered a project?”

Sasaki thought for a moment, “Well, I guess so. As long as it takes you multiple days, yeah”

That was going to be the easiest one out of all of them. Was it lazy? Sure. Was it sneaky to not specify what kind of reading? Likely. But it wasn’t like Sasaki would know. He could always argue that reading was a solo activity. Yes, he was sure to ace this part of the guide.

“Oh, and number eight - I’m sure you’ll love this - is to read a romance book,” Sasaki told him, giddiness clear in his tone.

What.

“But- wait- a-a romance book?” Nakamura asked, startled. Was it possible that this guy was a mind reader? That would be awful! Nakamura would surely be ruined if he was. Quickly, think of something normal! Uh uh uh Hirose! NO!

“Yeah,” Sasaki continued, ignorant to the abject horror Nakamura was experiencing at the moment. “Any will do, though I recommend anything…that’s in that particular romance section,” Sasaki spoke in a quieter tone, leaning closer to Nakamura. “You know which one I mean?”

Nakamura, still mildly dazed but spiralling less, came to consciousness just enough to nod along. He knew what he was referring to. There was no other possible section. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be whispering. Oh well, Nakamura was just going to have to find a different project to embark on.

“Awesome, number nine has to happen right after number eight. You see, I picked out number eight to raise your standards, because clearly, they are too low,” Sasaki stated. Before Nakamura even had time to feel offended he steamrolled right through. “You must draw a diagram of your perfect partner. That way, you can recognize the flaws in your crush. It’s easier to deal with when you see them as they are, and less of who you think they are,” Sasaki explained, still sloppy but with some valid points.

It did make sense to Nakamura. And while he did want to fight Sasaki over the standard comment, he could see the use in this. In fact, he was slowly starting to see the use in all of them. Maybe he was finally starting to understand this weird boy.

“Lastly, but not least, for number ten, you’ll have to dance it out”

Nakamura takes it back. Sasaki is just weird.

“Dance?” Nakamura squeaked, scandalised. He looked as if Sasaki had just asked him to show him his ankles. Dance?! Nakamura couldn’t walk straight to save his life and now he was expected to dance?

Sasaki waved a hand, “Don’t worry, I can teach you,” as if that makes it any better.

Nakamura shook his head, “No, absolutely not,” he doesn’t even dance in the comfort of his own home. How could he dance in front of Sasaki?

The other boy was far calmer than Nakamura. Trying to win him over he explained, “It’s sometimes easier to get emotions out through movement instead of words. It could help you a lot, you know”

The shorter of the two continued to shake his head. “No, never,” he denied it over and over. There was no way. He had no rhythm. He had two left feet, there was just no way. Everything else was already so much, he wouldn’t be able to do this.

“Do you want to get over that person or not?”

Nakamura paused. Looking at Sasaki he could still see that deep determination in his eyes. With a sigh, Nakamura hung his head. “...Fine”

Sasaki grinned, “Perfect, I’m so excited to help you through this process,” he squealed, causing another round of judgemental glares.

“What if it doesn’t work?” Came Nakamura’s small voice.

Sasaki had just come up from another bow when he heard him. Frowning to himself, Sasaki hummed. “Then,” he paused. “I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do to help,” the boy admitted. The smile Nakamura was receiving now was one of apology. “This is all I can do,” he told him. Nakamura looked down, a sullen look in his eyes. “But,” the boy went to stand, drawing Nakamura’s attention, “that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try,” he grinned down at him.

Nakamura took a deep breath. “You’re right,” he felt a small fire light in his heart. “Let’s do this”

“That’s what I like to hear!”

After getting kicked out of the library, the two boys walked together. Filled with new determination, they were both excited for the days to come.

Chapter Text

Luckily for Nakamura, the weekend had arrived. It's officially been a week since he found out Hirose was dating Hana. Yet, unlike most days, he wasn't drowning in his own tears because of it. He just felt like crying a little bit, which is a major improvement from before! Naturally, this did not mean that he was allowed to take a break from his training. Because it was the weekend, they had the time to strategize.

"First things first," Sasaki began. They had decided to gather in the public library again. This time having the foresight to book one of the two private rooms the library offered. It was a bit chilly so Nakamura was bundled up in a sweater and a scarf. Which was the complete opposite of the lunatic in front of him. The guy was wearing shorts. Shorts! If this was a court case about whether Sasaki was clinically insane, he'd win simply by presenting him to the jury right now. Digging his hands deeper inside his sweater, Nakamura quietly watched as Sasaki pulled out a binder.

Wait, a binder?

The taller boy opened it and inside were a flurry of fliers. Some looked to be printed out with colour, others in black and white, and quite a few were hand drawn. Nakamura already felt overwhelmed. What was all of this? "I have gathered all of the fliers relating to school clubs I could find," Sasaki explained before Nakamura could ask.

Oh.

Oh no.

"Sasaki," Nakamura began, a twinge of fear in his voice.

Sasaki waved a hand, "Don't worry, it isn't that much," he reassured him.

It was, indeed, That Much.

It took them two hours to get through each club. Sasaki would hold one poster up and explain everything he could find about it. Nakamura would take note of the ones he thought were interesting. As time went on, Nakamura felt like his head was going to explode. So much information all at once, he could barely keep up. Finally, just as Nakamura was about to tap out, Sasaki finished with one last poster.

"The Occult Club-"

"No"

"But-"

"No."

"Nakamura, c'mon, it could be fun!" Sasaki whined, leaning over the table. There were little stars in his eyes as he looked at Nakamura.

Crossing his arms, Nakamura shook his head. "No. They tried to sacrifice me to the devil"

Sasaki winced. "Well…was it really that bad?"

"Yes!"

"Okay okay, I'm sorry," the boy laughed, waving a hand. "Fine, no Occult Club," he sighed, setting the flier in the 'No' pile. "Well, at least now we have a list," he chirped. Taking the fliers Nakamura had agreed to he handed them to him. "We'll visit each one on Monday. Try to look into them further this weekend, okay?" he grinned.

Nakamura begrudgingly agreed. While he was Very Skeptical about Sasaki's methods, he couldn't just let the guy do everything for him. So, Nakamura embarked on the journey that was finding a new hobby.

He quickly grew to hate it.

Sasaki had dragged him out of the classroom as soon as class ended. It gave Nakamura zero time to internally monologue about his woes. Only managing a glance at Hirose, who, for the first time, had been looking to him first. Sasaki gave him zero time to process it as he pulled him by his wrist.

"Do we have to go this fast?" Nakamura asked in a quiet voice.

"We should if we want to get to everything," Sasaki explained, looking back to him with a grin.

Nakamura stared at him pointedly, "And this really isn't just a ploy for you to find a club to join?"

"Whaaaaat?" Saski laughed sheepishly, "Noooooo,"

"You don't sound very convincing," Nakamura deadpaned.

"What? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over everyone," Sasaki's nervous laughter made some turn to them.

Nakamura rolled his eyes at the boy, shrinking into himself at all the attention. Who knew one of the prettiest boys in school was so sleezy? Nakamura stared at the ground, allowing Sasaki to guide him to the room. Anxiety slowly gripped his chest as they came to a stop. The reality of the situation was sinking in. He really was about to talk to a bunch of strangers today. He didn't even know what he was going to say. Of course, Nakamura practiced his lines. He knew how he would introduce himself and what he wanted to ask. But as soon as they made it to the door it was as if everything disappeared from his mind. He was blanking and he hadn't even spoken to a single group yet.

Sasaki, on the other hand, had let Nakamura go in favour of opening the door without shame. "Hi! Is this the art club?" he asked with a blinding grin. Nakamura didn't know how he managed such a thing. As if by instinct, he had inched behind Sasaki.

"Hm? Oh, yes it is!" a girl said, a large smile on her face. "Would you like to join?" she asked. Other girls in the club were staring at them. Some would cover their mouths and look at each other in disbelief.

Sasaki turned to reveal Nakamura who had opted to hide behind him. "Well?" he asked. Nakamura froze. He stuttered out entirely unintelligible garble. Wringing his hands together he felt as though his heart was about to leap out of his chest.

“Um?” The girl was put off by this. “I’m sorry, I can’t quite…” she trailed off, stepping closer to try and hear him better.

Nakamura clenched and unclenched his hands as he whispered barely audible words before finally, something was heard. “Materials,” was said slightly louder than the rest. Just enough for the girl to exclaim, “Oh! What materials you need?” she asked. Nakamura’s nod was more than enough as she smiled at him. “Well, you’d need to provide your own sketchbook,” she began. “Our budget does allow us to get quite a few materials though. We can afford to get everyone a canvas once a month to paint. Usually we use the first week of the month to plan out the painting you want to make before we bring out the canvases. You can work on them for as long as you like,” she continued, going to one corner of the class to reveal a beautiful painting. It was a sakura blossom. She brought it over to them.

Sasaki gasped, “That’s amazing!”

The girl blushed, “Ah, thank you,” she squeaked. Clearing her throat she directed her attention towards Nakamura again. “I decided to take the rest of the month to make this,” she explained. Nakamura could clearly see why. The painting was gorgeous. It not only had the pink of the sakura but hints of purple and blue in the petals. The sky, while vibrant, wasn’t at all competing with the pink of the flower. It was a lovely piece with dimension and heart. He openly stared in awe. “Of course, you don’t have to,” she continued. “We all go about it differently,” she shrugged. “Any other questions?” she asked them, eyes lingering a bit too long on Sasaki.

This time, Nakamura managed to mumble out something more coherent. “What are the requirements?”

“Hm, well,” she put her finger to her chin. “We do ask that you come to club meetings every Wednesday after school. But after that, there are none. You can come regardless of how much experience you have. Art is all about learning, after all,” she cheerfully explained.

“I see,” Nakamura agreed in his very smart way. What an intellectual.

“So, are you interested?” she asked them, looking to Sasaki for an answer. “You look like you’d do very well in art,” she noted, looking away bashfully.

Sasaki chuckled, “You think so?” he sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

The girl nodded, “Absolutely,” the girls behind her nodded in unison.

The pretty boy folded his arms, “Well, I’ll join-”

The entire club almost crumbled to tears. Whatever God they prayed to became real to them today. Having sent them an angel as gratitude for their servitude. Ah, it felt good to be loved by the universe. But before the girls could get too ahead of themselves…

“If he joins,” Sasaki finished, placing a hand on Nakamura’s shoulder.

“Huh?”

It was then that Nakamura was subjected to the fiercest stares he’s ever known. Hey, wait a minute, weren’t they all smiles just a minute ago?

“Is that so?” the girl asked. If Nakamura didn’t know any better, he was sure she was about to make him see God. “Well then, will you be joining us?” and the way she said it really didn’t make it sound like a question. More like a statement of fact, if Nakamura was honest. Jeez, was this the effect pretty people had on everyone? He wondered how Hana was still alive if she was dating Hirose, arguably the prettiest of them all. Nakamura was definitely not biassed on that either, that was just an objective fact!

“Um…let me think about it,” Nakamura offered.

The girl giggled, “Sure, take as long as you need,” she said. Her stare said ‘Decide quickly or die’

Well, that was definitely not terrifying.

“Well, it was great to meet you all,” Sasaki started again, looping an arm around Nakamura’s. “We have more clubs to see, thank you for having us,” he beamed. The murderous looks sent his way softened as the girls stared at the angel. Thank the lord for Sasaki. “Can I drop by just to see some more of the paintings even if we don’t join?”

The collective “YES!” almost rendered Nakamura deaf.

They were now back in the hall. Sasaki was smiling amicably. “They were nice,” he commented.

Nakamura shivered, “If you say so”

Without missing a beat, he was once again grabbed by the wrist and dragged. “Come on! We have another club to visit,” he told him. “I believe it’s the Marine Life Club, right?” he asked while looking back at the shorter boy.

“It is,” he confirmed. Looking down, Nakamura took note of Sasaki’s hold on him. Odd, since when had he let him do that? He felt his cheeks heat up as he shook off Sasaki’s hold. “I don’t know why you even put it in the pile,” he grumbled.

Sasaki gaped at him “Huh?! What do you mean you don’t know. You looked so excited when I told you about it I just had to add it!” he exclaimed.

Nakamura huffed, “I did not look excited”

“You were literally bouncing on the chair.”

“I was not.”

“You were.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Yes you were.”

Nakamura groaned, “Are you always this stubborn?” he asked him. Gosh, how did he end up with this weirdo again? Oh right, he had approached him again first. Curse his past self. Couldn’t he see how torturous this was going to be? I mean really, no one this pretty would be sane! Except for Hirose, but he’s not like other boys anyway.

“Absolutely,” Sasaki cackled, a shit eating grin on his face. “Why don’t you want to go anyway?” he asked, looking back to the front as he searched for the right room. “Marine life is awesome,” he commented.

The shy boy’s eyes trailed down once more as he tugged at his shirt. “Only some of it is,” he stated. The scathing comments of others stuck to his mind. Only Hirose understood him. They were friends after all. But others…they wouldn’t overlook such a weird interest. And even if he was a bit much sometimes, he didn’t want Sasaki to think he’s weirder than he already thinks he is.

“I disagree,” he hummed. “All animals are cool,” he stated with such resolution one would think he was asked what his thoughts were on the afterlife.

“Oh yeah?” Nakamura asked. “What’s your favourite marine animal then?” He already knew what the answer would be. Something cute like dolphins or whales. Maybe seals if he really liked cute things. The usual animals that were acceptable to like.

“Jellyfish”

Well…that caught him off guard. “Jellyfish?” Nakamura repeated, puzzled.

“Yeah, jellyfish,” he grinned at him. “A lot of people think they’re gross or scary,” he began, hands intertwined behind his back. “But I think they’re really interesting. They come in all sizes. The biggest ones have tentacles that can be as long as 36 metres,” he explained. “They don’t have brains but they’re so well adapted to their environment they don’t need one. They just follow the currents wherever it takes them and live their lives. There’s so many different types of them there’s a jellyfish for everyone to like,” Sasaki concluded. “My personal favourite is the Pink Meanie Jellyfish. What about you?” he asked, turning to Nakamura.

“My favourite jellyfish?” he asked after a beat, completely entranced by Sasaki’s excitement.

The taller boy snickered, “No, silly. I’m asking for your favourite sea animal,” he clarified.

Nakamura flushed, “Right,” he squeaked. Taking a deep breath he answered, “I like octopuses,” he confessed, preparing himself for rejection. Only to never receive it.

“Woah,” Sasaki looked down to him with awe. “Really? I always thought those were neat,” he smiled. “Though, i don’t really know much about them,” he laughed, now shoving his hands in his pockets.

The shy boy loosens up almost immediately. A small smile gracing his face as he offers, “Then you probably don’t know that all octopuses are venomous”

“What?!” Sasaki’s eyes went wide as he gaped. “They’re venomous?!” it was safe to say he was absolutely flabbergasted.

Nakamura nodded, “They are, it’s just that the only one dangerous to humans is the Blue Ring Octopus,” he explained, hands moving to his sides.

“That’s insane,” the taller boy commented, looking as if his entire existence had just been dismantled before his eyes. “What else do you know?”

“Well-” Nakamura continued. The boys walked along the halls, chatting away about octopuses and jellyfishes,

They only visited the art club that day. Which, the very next day, they decided to sign up for together. Much to the excitement of the girls in the club.

Chapter Text

Their first art club meeting was…well it went as expected. Sasaki was ogled at and Nakamura was left alone by most everyone. It was fun. Nakamura found he actually quite liked drawing. Of course most of the drawings were of Hirose but that's neither here nor there. After the hour-long meeting ended, Nakamura was just about ready to drop. His social battery was really running low and he was craving some time by himself.

This, however, was not Sasaki's plan.

"I think you should come with me and my friends to that new boba place," the taller of the two stated. "Start working on step number two," he hummed.

Nakamura held the strap of his bag tightly. "I don't think-"

"C'mon, it'll be for just a little while," he interrupted. "My treat?" Sasaki pushed further. His eyes were filled with puppy-like excitement. That look…ugh it was making it so hard for him to say no. Nakamura could already feel his energy drop at the mere thought of what he was about to get himself into.

"Fine," he agreed. "But only for a little while," Nakamura re-stated.

Sasaki excitedly nodded. "Yeah, of course. Let's get going then," and with that Nakamura was once again being dragged around by the lunatic.

He trudged along the sidewalk. The taller boy had let go of him when they changed their shoes. Walking side by side, Nakamura pondered how he even got to be in this situation. Sasaki seemed to have this odd fascination with helping him and Nakamura had yet to figure out why. He couldn't get it at all. Why on earth would he even care? But of course, he was snatched out of this thoughts and back into the real world by said enigma.

"We're here," he chimed, opening the door for Nakamura.

The shorter walked in, caving in on himself when he saw the amount of people inside. It was basically full. The baristas were working overtime and there was barely anywhere to sit. Yet somehow, Sasaki had managed to find the friends he was going to meet with. Waving a hand to them, he started walking over. Once again, Nakamura hid behind him, feeling his throat closing up with the amount of people here. Not to mention that these friends they're meeting are classmates Nakamura had never talked to in his life. He felt like he was going to die of anxiety right here and now.

"Hey guys," Sasaki began. Two girls and two boys were waiting near the wall of the shop. "I'm not too late am I?" he asked teasingly.

The girl with a bob cut, Mori, waved a dismissive hand. "Not at all, we've only been here a few minutes," she giggled. Noting the gloomy figure behind Sasaki she leaned to the side to try and get a better look at them. "What's that?" she asked, firmly believing she had just seen a ghost.

"This is Nakamura," Sasaki introduced, stepping to the side once again to show him. The poor boy looked just about ready to drop and become an actual ghost. "He's a friend I invited along," he explained happily, placing a hand on Nakamura's shoulder. It did nothing to stop his hands from shaking. If he opened his mouth Nakamura was certain he'd see his soul escape from it.

"Is he from our class?" A boy, Fujita, asked as he stepped closer. "I think I've seen him around?" The statement sounded a lot more like a question. All four classmates were now trying to figure out if Nakamura was someone from class or not. The shy boy was getting more and more uncomfortable as they stared at him. He tried to say that yes they were in the same class but when he tried Fujita loudly went "Huh?" Maybe he would really die today. Did God hate him this much?

After what felt like an eternity to Nakamura, but was probably just a few seconds to everyone else, Sasaki stepped in. Going to move in front of him again he grinned at everyone. "Of course he's in our class. How do you not recognize him? You've been there longer than I have," he poked fun at them. The group broke out onto friendly banter. Talking about how Sasaki had the worst memory out of them all. They'd start making jokes and easing into their dynamics. And Nakamura would just…be there. Honestly, that was kind of nice. And most definitely how he liked it. That was until Sasaki made attempts to include him in the conversation. Nakamura tried to avoid it, sending the boy pleading looks. But alas none of it broke through and he was left to fend by himself. Anything that required more than a nod or a shake of the head was quickly followed by "Huh?"s and "What was that?"s. It was getting increasingly harder to keep up with any of this.

They ordered boba. Though thankfully it had been the other boy, Ogawa, who took all their orders. Seeing how packed it was, he decided it was best if only one person stood in line. Sasaki, being the closest to him, relayed his order to Ogawa. Nakamura didn't have the courage to tell Sasaki he had gotten it wrong and now he was stuck with a taro boba. No big complaints if he's honest. It meant that their time was coming to an end and he could finally go home. He couldn't wait to go see his octopus. After hard days Nakamura would just sit in front of Ichan's tank and watch him. Give him puzzles to do, reward him for completing them. It was a very relaxing and fun time for Nakamura.

However, God doesn't like him having nice things.

As they all got their boba, the other girl, Aoki had suggested they go to karaoke. There was a place nearby and it was still early enough to get away with it on a school night. Ogawa was quick to agree, noting he'd have to really focus on school next week so it was good to do it now. Fujita groaned whenever he was reminded of school. Mori slapped his arm, "Why are you upset? You have the best grades of everyone here," she laughed.

"That's exactly why," the boy slumped over.

Aoki giggled, patting his back. "It's alright, we can help you study," she offered.

"Don't you have the worst grades out of all of us, Aoki?" Asked Mori, to which the long haired girl immediately flushed.

Sasaki laughed along with everyone. "Well, I say we go now and regret it later," the boy agreed. Much to Nakamura's dismay. Was he about to be dragged around again? "What do you think, Nakamura?" he asked. Everyone's eyes were on him again. His mind worked overtime to tell what the best response would be. Panicked and uncomfortable and running on fumes he squeaked out an "I'm going to the washroom" before all but running away.

"He must really have to go," Fujita chuckled.

Sasaki looked after where Nakamura had gone, frowning. "Yeah," he hummed pensively.

Nakamura burst into the small washroom. Rushing inside one of the stalls he curled into himself. He was struggling to keep his breath steady. Nakamura has rarely been around so many people at once. He was fine with talking to them in school around other classmates. It was different there. Now he was stuck in a small space with so many strangers. He could barely keep his small ragged breaths under control. Nakamura planted his face into his thighs as he sat on the floor. How was he going to get out of this? How could he possibly refuse? Would that ruin the mood? What would they say about him if he did that? He was already annoying them wasn't he? Nakamura felt like he was intruding on them. Like he didn't belong anywhere near them. Not the easy going Ogawa. Not the rambunctious Fujita. Not the caring Aoki. Not the playful Mori. And most of all, not Sasaki. Of course making a friend wouldn't be this easy. They weren't really friends. They were more like a stray cat and its owner. It made him feel awful.

"Nakamura?" speak of the devil. Maybe if he stayed quiet Sasaki would leave. Unfortunately for him, it seemed that no one else was in the washroom with them. "Are you okay?" he asked, standing in front of the only stall being occupied right now. "Nakamura?" Sasaki asked again, waiting for a response.

Nakamura sniffled. Ah, when had he started…"I'm fine" he tried, voice strained.

"You don't sound fine," Sasaki chuckled. Though the silence following it confirmed his suspicions. "Nakamura, I'm asking sincerely. Are you okay?"

There was a beat of silence before a very small, "No," lifted through the stall. It was so small and fragile. It reminded Sasaki of when Nakamura had agreed to his help. That small sound was more than enough for Sasaki to make a choice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he tried, leaning against the wall facing the stall.

Another stretch of silence before Nakamura spoke again. "I'm not good with people," was his lame explanation. "I don't want to ruin the mood…" he trailed off, sniffling again.

Sasaki was quick to jump in. "You aren't ruining anything," he told him with such certainty that Nakamura almost believed it. "I…" Nakamura prepared himself. Maybe he was going to back out on his word. Leave the stray cat where he found it. Closing his eyes, millions of worst case scenarios filled his head before- "I think I owe you an apology"

What.

"An apology?" Nakamura hiccuped out. Too taken aback to try and control the shaking in his voice.

Sasaki hummed in confirmation. "An apology. For forcing you to come with me," the boy began. "I just got carried away. I was thinking we could kill two birds with one stone. Get you to try both a new hobby and hang out with friends. And…well I also wanted to introduce you to them," he shifted his weight from one foot to another. "For me, being with people helps me feel energised," Sasaki disclosed, rubbing his arm. "I can see now that isn't the case for you," he chuckled out. "I took things too far. I should've listened when you said no," he sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry," and with that, Sasaki waited.

It took a little while before he heard shuffling from the other side. "Do you promise not to force me to socialise like that again?" came the impossibly small voice from the other side of the stall.

"Yes," Sasaki agreed without hesitation.

"Promise to tell me who we're going to be with if I come?"

"Absolutely," he pushed himself away from the wall.

"And you're going to tell them if I'm coming before we get there?" that small voice was slowly getting stronger.

"I will," he smiled at the door.

"And if we agree to something you won't change the plans?" the shaking had almost disappeared.

"I won't change a thing," Sasaki told him.

"And you won't get my order wrong?"

"I will never- wait, I got your order wrong?"

A snicker could be heard from inside the stall. "Okay," the lock on the door clicked. "I forgive you," Nakamura said, opening the door.

Sasaki beamed, "Thank you," and goodness the Gods above really have favourites. It was virtually impossible to be upset at that face. "Oh here," the taller boy pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket. "In case you want to clean up," Sasaki shrugged, stuffing his hands back into his pockets once Nakamura took the cloth. The shorter of the two quickly wiped at his eyes. Sasaki gave him some privacy, turning to look at the door to the washroom. “Planning on heading home?” he asked Nakamura as he was handed back the handkerchief.

The shy boy nodded, going to the sink to wash his hands and try to make himself presentable.

“Do you want to walk home on your own or should I come with you?” Sasaki asked, making sure he was giving Nakamura enough time and space to decide.

“I can go on my own,” he told him, voice regaining its usual timber.

Sasaki smiled, “Okay, I’ll go tell them that something came up,” the boy offered. Nakamura nodded, giving him a tired smile. “See you tomorrow then. We can have the hangout another day. Just the two of us next time,” he promised, hesitantly patting Nakamura’s shoulder. The shorter boy hummed in agreement. And with that, they went their separate ways.

Sasaki realized even he had things to learn from this too.

Chapter Text

Nakamura found himself engulfed in a steady silence. Sasaki was, for once, busy with school work. As it turns out, his outing with friends made him forget an assignment that was coming up and now he was behind. Being the fantastic friend (introvert) he is, Nakamura left him to his own devices. Instead, he opted to sneak glances at Hirose. Everything about him was impossible to ignore. That soft fluffy hair, his big round eyes, his smile. So brilliant. Every day, Nakamura fell for him all over again. Every day, he went one step back.

“Stay strong, buddy,” Sasaki suddenly whispered in his ear.

Nakamura jumped, slapping a hand over his ear. Turning around, he whisper yelled at Sasaki, “Don’t do that!”

The sly boy gave him a foxy grin. “Why? Don’t want to miss even a moment of what he does?” he teased.

Nakamura was about to reply when someone cleared their throat. Turning around, Nakamura was mortified to find Mr. Otogiri staring right at him. “Is there a problem back there?” he asked.

In his panic, Nakamura let out a pathetic whine which was, thankfully, covered by Sasaki’s cheerful “Nope!”

“Alright then,” and just like that, their teacher turned right around to continue teaching.

Sadly, Nakamura was already a very noticeable shade of red that wouldn’t clear up till the end of class. In his deep embarrassment, he managed to glance at his crush. Hirose was, of course, looking at him. Whatever was up there absolutely loved watching him suffer, Nakamura was sure of it. Nakamura was about to curse God when Hirose giggled. He actually laughed. Nakamura couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. The boy only grew brighter in his eyes. Maybe God does love him, after all. A few moments later Hirose gave him a sympathetic look, and just like that he turned back to the lesson. Just like that, the moment was gone.

Nakamura thought about it for the rest of the day.

Through his walk home. Through his homework. Through dinner. Through feeding Icchan. He thought about it over, and over, and over again. Holding his pillow tight he giggled into it. Kicking his feet into his mattress, Nakamura was absolutely glowing. That was until he remembered his mission. Pausing mid-kick, Nakamura stared into his semi-lit room.

“Fuck”

With a groan, he flopped himself fully on the bed. He was failing. Miserably at that. God, did he HAVE to be so pathetic? Nakamura pulled at his hair. This was too hard! There was no way he could do it! No way, no way, no way!

Just then a memory broke through his stupor.

With a gasp, Nakamura sat up. That’s right! Sasaki’s guide! He quickly made his way to his desk. The boy took out his writing supplies before pulling out a page from one of his notebooks. There, in the darkness of his room, he stared down at the piece of paper. Now that he had gotten set up, he wasn’t entirely sure how to start. Nakamura was creative, don’t get him wrong, it’s just that he wasn’t exactly a writer. If anything he enjoyed reading far more. Putting what he felt into words was already hard, but making it comprehensible enough to write was borderline impossible. Crossing his arms, Nakamura frowned at the paper.

He could give up.

“Stay strong, buddy”

“Ugh,” Nakamura’s head hit the desk. Even when Sasaki wasn’t here he was annoying. A shiver climbed up his spine as he remembered how close he was. With a hand over his ear, Nakamura began to think. What did he like about Hirose? Thinking back on the few times they’ve talked, he’s noted how warm-hearted he was. He never once made him feel left out. When he went to the aquarium, he didn’t make fun of him for liking octopuses. Not to mention he stayed with him when Nakamura asked. Hirose always did his best to help those around him and accommodate their desires, even at the cost of his own. Hirose was everything Nakamura wasn’t. The sun to Nakamura’s pathetic moon. Yeah, that’s it!

With all of his memories within grasp, Nakamura began to write. He wrote of the play, where Hirose had looked so nice. He wrote on the scary movie they made, giggling to himself when he recalled how Hirose had latched onto him. He wrote about the aquarium, and the sea. He wrote on everything, even memories he wasn’t a part of. Moments Hirose felt too dazzling to touch. Nakamura ended up ripping out more and more pages. His heart swelling with affection. He really liked Hirose. He was the perfect boy. Hirose was his everything.

So why…was he also thinking of Sasaki?

Shaking his head, Nakamura pushed the weirdo out of his mind, instead focusing on his beloved. When he was done, he had accumulated well over five pages worth of memories. “Okay,” he smiled to himself, determination flaring up again. “Now to burn-” he paused, killing his newfound determination in seconds. “Oh,” that’s right, he had forgotten. The entire point was to move on. Taking a deep breath, he stood up. “You can do it, Okuto,” he told himself, slapping his cheeks. “It’s just paper, you can do it,” he continued, looking down at the letter he had just spent over an hour writing. “You can do it,” he repeated, sweat accumulating on his forehead as he reached down a hand for the pages. “You…” Closer. “Can…” Just a little more. “Do it…” His fingers almost reached the pages. And then “Tomorrow” and with that Nakamura jumped right to bed.

Oh well, it wasn’t like anyone was checking his work. “Hmph, it’s not like I can’t just lie to stupid Sasaki,” he hummed.

Somewhere, in a large kitchen, a loud sneeze rang out.

“Shut up!” echoed a voice from another room.

“Sorry!” Sasaki called back, rubbing his nose. Weird, he’s been sneezing a whole lot tonight. A cocky smirk crossed his face. Someone must be thinking about him. And with that ego boost, he went right back to bed.

Chapter Text

“Heyyyyyy Nakamuraaaaa,” Sasaki teased, sliding up right to Nakamura’s side during lunch. “I saw you staring again,” he continued, playfully nudging him with his elbow.

Nakamura blushed, stuttering out a Totally Convincing "I was not!"

“Oh you so were. You aren’t very sneaky about it, you know,” the taller continued to poke at him. “You clearly need even more guidance from your bestest friend in the whole world,” Sasaki hummed, puffing out his chest in pride.

The shy boy scoffed, "What makes you so sure we're best friends?" he murmured, taking a bite of his rice.

Sasaki gasped, a hand to his chest in mock pain. "How could you? After all I've done for us," he sniffed, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

From where he was, Nakamura could see the window behind Sasaki. A pile of girls had gathered just outside the classroom. If their glares were anything to go by, Nakamura may have to start taking measurements for his coffin. "Shh, not so loud," he basically pleaded. Sasaki, as Nakamura had quickly noticed, had a hard time controlling his volume.

"Say I'm your best friend then," he pouted. And lord above, who decided to make Sasaki so pretty? Puppy dog eyes sared up at him. Even when trying to be cute there was an undeniable handsomeness to him. With his fluffed up hair and sharp jawline. Ugh, not even Nakamura was immune to his charm.

With a sigh, Nakamura relented. "Fine, you're my best friend," he agreed.

Sasaki gasped, "Yes!" he exclaimed, pumping his fist.

Nakamura let out an exasperated sigh. "Happy you added another best friend to your roster?" he asked.

This made Sasaki laugh. "What? No, you're the only best friend I have," he told him.

The shorter of the two almost choked on his egg roll. Sasaki patted his back, snickering as he did. "Huh?!" he managed to get out between coughs.

"Yeah! You're my first," he told him, winking at Nakamura. This did not help! Once Nakamura had finally gotten over his mortification, Sasaki continued. "And as my best friend in the whole world-"

"Oh no," Nakamura sighed, already feeling a headache coming. The thing about Sasaki was that, contrary to (very) popular belief, he was very sneaky. Using almost any tactic to get what he wants. Nakamura had a bad feeling about where this was going. "What do you need me for this time?" he asked, crossing his arms.

Sasaki grinned, his eyes turning to crescents. At the beginning, Sasaki had thought his smile to be heavenly. Now? It was starting to look more and more sly by the hour. "Well, we have art club tomorrow right?"

"Uh huh," Nakamura agreed.

"And we get out fairly late?" Sasaki continued, leaning in a bit more.

"Yes," the shy boy agreed again, a frown on his face.

"And we don't really have any big assignments due till next week?" Sasaki pushed, leaning over the small desk.

Nakamura moved back, "Just spit it out," he pleaded, feeling his cheeks warming.

"Let's have a movie night!" Sasaki beamed.

"Huh?" and Nakamura blanked.

"I know, I know," Sasaki began. "It's a school night and we don't want to be late. So I was thinking, why not have a sleepover while we're at it?" He suggested. "You can stay over at mine and we can just come to school together," he hummed, leaning on his palm as his elbow rested on the desk. "So…what do ya think?"

Nakamura froze. A sleepover? He hasn't gone to one of those…ever! He didn't even know what to expect! Everything he knew about them came from the BL books he'd always read. And virtually all those sleepovers weren't among friends. Was he supposed to bring something? What if Sasaki's parents don't like him? What if-

"Hey," Sasaki snapped him out of his thoughts. The taller boy poked his forehead, "You're thinking too much again. Just go ask your parents first, okay?" he suggested, a warm smile on his face. "You can text me if you have any questions," Sasaki offered.

Nakamura felt a wave of relief roll over him. "Okay, I'll do that," he agreed, nodding to himself. A small smile fluttered over his face as he looked back to Sasaki. "Thanks,: he offered

Sasaki chuckled, "Don't mention it," he stated, waving a dismissive hand.

Later that day, Nakamura sat with his family at dinner. Poking at his food, he nibbled on his lip. He's always had a tough time knowing when to bring things up. It wasn't until his sister got fed up that someone told him to "Spit it out already!"

"Okay!" he hissed to her. "Mom," Nakamura turned to her. She was a sweet lady, her a
hair tied back into a loose bun. She hummed encouragingly as Nakamura talked. "A friend invited me to a sleepover and-"

"You have friends?" his sister, very rudely, cut in.

"Kana!" their mom called out. "Don't be mean to your older brother," she warned before turning her attention back to Nakamura. "Have you finished your schoolwork?" she asked.

Nakamura nodded his head, "I have," he affirmed.

His mom shrugged, "Then go ahead. I trust you'll remember your manners. You should make them some of your curry. It's rude to go to someone else's house empty handed," she explained.

The boy nodded, "Okay mom, I will," Nakamura found himself smiling. "Thqnk you"

And so, the following day came at a snail's pace.

"Ready to go?" Sasaki asked him as he shrugged his bag over his shoulder.

Nakamura nodded, "I am," there was a nervous shiver in his voice.

Sasaki chuckled, "It's a sleepover Nakamura, not a final exam, relax," he laughed.

Nakamura nodded along, "Yeah, okay. It's totally fine," he agreed.

The taller one grinned, "There you go!" he chirped before pausing. "Though," he began, moving closer to Nakamura. "There's one thing you should know," he began, the atmosphere shifting almost immediately.

Nakamura gulped, "What is it?" he asked, completely put off by his sudden change in demeanor.

"When you see my older brother, don't get scared, okay?" Sasaki told him. Looking around he leanee in closer, whispering in his ear "He can smell fear."

Nakamura’s soul left him at that moment.

"Okay that's all," Sasaki beamed. "Let's go!" And just like that he was being dragged by his hand outside the classrooms. Pale white and on the verge of death, Nakamura was faced with the abject horror that is Sasaki's family. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Arriving at Sasaki's place, Nakamura had temporarily forgotten about his troubles. The house was huge. Much bigger than his own. It was in a richer part of town, where all the houses had hedges all around the property. Even the gate was big. Nakamura stared, completely taken off guard by it. "This is-"

"Mine!" Saski grinned. "Well, my older brother's but still," he shrugged. Opening the gate he made a sweeping gesture as he held it open. "Come on in," he bowed.

Nakamura slowly walked inside. Their garden was fairly big. From where he was he could spot some flowers and gardening material. He couldn't see very well into the backyard, but he was certain he could see some vines. Sasaki noticed his curiosity, "That's my older brother's. He gardens as a form of stress relief," he explained.

Nakamura nodded, "I see," he muttered. Following Sasaki, he entered the house. The place was…actually kind of empty? There weren't any pictures around of family, just some abstracy paintings to decorate the walls. Some fake plants in the corners, but it was mostly barren. Only the basic essentials for nearly every room he was shown. As Sasaki gave him a little tour, dropping by the kitchen first to drop off the curry, they came upon a closed door. "That's my older brother's study. No one but him is allowed in there," Sasaki explained. Okay, why was nearly everything he's heard about Sasaki's older brother suspicious. He was scary, secretive and could probably hide a body with his gardening experience.

Before Nakamura could dwell on it, Sasaki was pulling him to yet another room. "And this is my room!" he exclaimed. Nakamura gasped as he looked around. Unlike the rest of the house, Sasaki's room was full of life. Fairy lights had been hung all around the room. Above his bed were polaroid pictures strung up in rows. All around were posters of bands and movies. Near the desk were piles upon piles of notebooks. On the shelves were textbooks, a medal and a trophy.

"I didn't know you played volleyball," Nakamura noted as he looked at the trophy.

Sasaki chuckled, "Yeah! We went to nationals once! We got second but it was still great fun," he explained. "Oh and this one," he held the medal so Nakamura could take a better look. "Was from swimming," he told him. "I didn't really like it though," he admitted, scratching the back of his head. "This is only a participation medal," he waved as he handed it to Nakamura.

The boy ran his fingers over the grooves. A worn down etching of a swimmer on its front, the year written just under it. "Woah," he breathed. Nakamura was entranced. Looking around the room some more he could see so many things he hadn't even asked about. A poster depicting all the jellyfishes found so far was the only thing that he had expected. Nakamura felt as though he had been given a chance to look inside Sasaki's head. Even if just for a moment.

"What do you think?" Sasaki's voice pulled him back out.

Nakamura looked up at him. "I love it"

This time, it wasn't Nakamura who was left without words. Sasaki was looking down at him in surprise. His eyes fixated on Nakamura's own. It was only for a moment, but it was as if something clicked then. Sasaki quickly looked away, clearing his throat. "You think so?" he chuckled out, shoving his hands in his pockets. A light blush covered his face. "That's good since we'll be sleeping here for tonight," he declared, returning to his usual cadence. "You can put your things on my bed, let's go watch some movies," he urged.

Nakamura snickered at Sasaki's excitement. "Okay, Okay, let's go," he agreed, taking Sasaki's hand in his own. "What movies were you thinking?" he asked.

"Oh you know," Sasaki waved, "The usual," he smiled sheepishly.

Nakamura narrowed his eyes at him. "The usual?" He asked.

"Yeah! Just…movies. You know the ones," he explained nervously.

"Sasaki," Nakamura began as Sasaki sat him down in the living room.

"You know them. They've got music-" He continued as he moved to the kitchen.

"Sasaki."

"And people," Sasaki returned with a bowl of popcorn.

"Sasaki."

"And places! Lots of buildings!" his voice was steadily getting higher as he placed another bowl of chocolates and another with takoyaki.

"Sasaki!" Nakamura called, crossing his arms. "What movie is this," he demanded.

Sasaki fidgeted with his hands. "Hear me out, okay. It's a horror-"

"Nope," Nakamura went to stand.

"Pleaseee," Sasaki pleaded, draping a blanket over both of them. "It's less scary when you're not alone," he tried.

Nakamura did not look impressed. "I don't do well with horror, Sasaki," he told him. However, he didn't try to stand.

Sasaki grabbed his arm, pressing up against Nakamura's side. "Pleaseeee? Stay by my side?" and once again this fool used his looks against him. How could he be so weak against that pout? "We can watch any movie you want to watch afterwards," he offered.

Nakamura corssed his arms, humming in consideration. "Do you promise?" he asked, glancing down at the curled up Sasaki at his side.

"I promise," he nodded.

Taking a deep breath, Nakamura unfurled his arms. "Fine," he agreed begrudgingly.

"Yes!" Sasaki sat up, arms in the air. "I'll put it on, we can pick the next one after," he grinned.

"If I get nightmares you better take responsibility," Nakamura warned, tugging the blanket higher on himself.

"I will!" the sly boy beamed, already choosing the movie. "Oh, this is going to be great! I've heard such good things about this movie," Sasaki cackled as it began playing. "Hey, if you ever get scared," Sasaki leaned on Nakamura's shoulder, "Just grab onto me," he teased, elbowing Nakamura's side.

Nakamura rolled his eyes at him. "Shut up," he scoffed, the smile on his face betraying his faux annoyance.

So, the movie began.

And halfway through the house was filled with screams. Nakamura was latched on tightly to Sasaki's arm. Small yelps and screams escaping him with every scare. Sasaki would gasp before letting out nervous chuckles. The rest of the movie was spent cuddled up in fear, snacks completely forgotten. Then, at the very last moment, both of them got scared so badly they ended up falling off the couch. While on the floor, reeling from the movie, Sasaki began to laugh. Nakamura, who had landed on top of him, was still trying to catch his breath as he looked up to him. "Stop laughing," he gasped out, smacking Sasski's shoulder.

"Oh man, you were screaming so much," he giggled, looping an arm around Nakamura's waist. "You're such a scaredy cat!" he teased.

Nakamura huffed, "As if you weren't scared too!" he huffed, pinching Sasaki's cheeks.

The taller of the two continued to laugh, "Ow ow, okay okay," he chuckled, taking Nakamura's hands in his own. "We were both scared," he relented.

Nakamura moved to get off of him. "Good. Now to watch something way better," he stated. Standing up, Nakamura glanced around the house. It was getting late and still no one had come yet. "Hey, when is your family coming back?" he asked, looking down to Sasaki who was stil sprawled out on the floor.

"Hm? Oh! My older brother will be getting back later tonight," he explained, finally moving to get up.

"And your parents?" Nakamura finally asked.

"Well," Sasaki began, "They don't live here so, probably never," he snickered.

Nakamura felt like a bucket of cold water had been dropped on him. "Oh," he said dumbly. "I'm sorry I-"

"Don't be," Sasaki cut him off. "I'm not," he beamed at him before going to settle back down on the couch. "So, what did you want to see?"

Nakamura, while curious, knew when to drop it. So, instead, he went to explain the movie he was eager to see. For the rest of the night, the two boys went from romcoms, to drama, to a detective movie and finally a short pirate movie. Throughout the night they huddled together, eating snacks and talking. As Nakamura found out, Sasaki was an absolute genius with detective movies. He had basically figured out who it was the moment they appeared on screen. And in turn, Sasaki learned about Nakamura's partiality to Charlie Chaplin movies. Something that surprised him, if his expression was anything to go by. Little by little, they learned about each other.

Finally, it was time to head to bed. The two got ready, Sasaki choosing to change in the bathroom go allow Nakamura more room to get dressed. Once the two were ready, they headed to Sasaki's bed. It was spacious enough for two people to fit comfortably. Not to mention Nakamura had insisted on it. He didn't want Sasaki to take the couch when he had been so accomodating. So now here they were, tucked in with all the lights off. Nakamura laid with his back against the window and his front to Sasaki.

"Did you have fun?" Sasaki asked.

"I did," Nakamura hummed, the moon allowing Sasaki to see his smile.

"Even though I made you watch a horror movie?" the taller of the two pressed, a raised brow and smile on his face.

With a sigh, Nakamura answred "Even though you madr me watch a horror movie"

Sasaki chuckled, "So, did it work?"

Nakamura frowned, "Did what work?"

"Movie night," Sasaki shifted closer. "Remember? You're trying to get over he-who-shall-not-be-named?" he reminded him, looking into Nakamura's eyes expectantly.

Oh.

That's right. That's why they were doing this. Nakamura had…

Nakamura had forgotten.

Upon that realization he gasped, sitting up in bed. "It did!" he exclaimed, grabbing Sasaki's shoulders. "I didn't think about him at all the entire night!" he laughed while shaking his friend. "Sasaki, it's working!" he cheered.

Sasaki laughed. "See? I told you this list works!" he declared. "Aren't I the best?" he asked, pride lacing his voice.

"Of course, it's why you're my best friend," Nakamura hummed with a smile, letting him go.

Sasaki sputtered, "Wait wait wait, did you- did you just call us best friends?" he asked, wide eyed and slack jawed. Nakamura hummed in affirmation, only to get dragged down into Sasaki's arms. A fit of giggles escaping him as he rolled them both around on the bed. "Ahhhh! We're best friends!" he exclaimed.

Nakamura tried squirming out of his hold. "Yes yes, now let go you're suffocating me," he laughed, pushing Sasaki away.

"Okay okay, sorry," he chuckled, letting the smaller go. "Ooh! You know what we should do? We should-"

"Sleep," Nakamura filled in, having cocooned himself in the blankets once more.

Sasaki bit his tongue. "Yeah, good idea, let's do that first," he agreed sheepishly.

Snickering, Nakamura placed a hand over Sasaki'a. "Good night," he hummed.

Sasaki interlaced their fingers together, holding Nakamura's hand tight. "Good night."

The moon watched over them with pride.

Hours later, the door to Sasaki's room opened. Sharp eyes peered inside, locking into the two figured in bed. Silently, the door was closed again, leaving only a passing cloud as a witness.

Chapter Text

Nakamura was, to put it bluntly, fucked.

He had never really baked before and the entire kitchen had already been turned upside down. Naturally, he could cook but baking was a different beast altogether. It was why Sasaki had refused to bake with him.

"Sorry, Nakamura. Last time I tried, my older brother banned me from the kitchen for a month."

Well, Nakamura was most definitely getting yelled at for this. Sighing, he looked at the two bowls in front of him. One was a fluffy white base of heavy whipped cream while the other was a heavier chocolate mixture. He was attempting to make "Wet brownies". Nakamura had no idea why Sasaki had called the recipe that but that's what it said. However, it was now calling for folding.

This is where Nakamura had been promptly railed.

He had no clue what folding was. He'd have to research it and who knows how long that would take. So, he just stood there, glaring at the mixture accusingly.

"What are you doing, shitty Okuto?"

Ah, perfect. Just what he needed. "Hello to you too, Kana," an annoying little sister to make his day worse. "If it wasn't obvious, I'm baking," he informed her with a huff.

Kana looked at him, completely unimpressed. "I didn't know baking involved you standing there looking like an idiot," she replied.

Okuto rolled his eyes, "It wouldn't if I knew what 'folding' meant," he grumbled.

"You don't know what folding is?" she asked incredulously, mocking him with her gaze alone. "Wow, you really are hopeless," she sneered.

The boy crossed his arms. "If you aren't going to help, go away already. Don't you have homework to do?" he huffed.

Kana waved him off, "Already done," she walked closer to his mess of bowls and ingredients. "Hmm, okay, here's the deal," she began, looking back at Okuto. "I'll help you-" she raised a hand upon hearing the gasp from her older brother to shush him. "But," she continued. "I will only do so if you agree to let me take some of this to school tomorrow," she decided.

Okuto nodded immideately, "Deal," he smiled.

Kana smirked, placing her hands on her hips, "Perfect, now start clearing the area. I can't work with so much shit around," she instructed.

"Fine, fine," and so Okuto cleared off anything they didn't need as Kana read the instructions thoroughly. Coming back to her side he asked, "So…how do you fold?"

His younger sister frowned in concentration as she rolled up her sleeves and went to wash her hands. "It's pretty easy actually. Watch closely, shitty Okuto," she told him.

As much as he didn't like the nickname, he did pay attention. When she returned to the bowls she took the one with the heavier mixture, took a small amount and placed it on the side of the lighter one. "You want to go around the edges and then fold into the middle," she explained, showing him how she was doing it. "See how it's changing colour?" she asked.

Okuto nodded, "Yeah, it's turning a lighter brown," he noted. "Hey, since when did you know how to bake?" he asked with an impressed but curious smile.

Kana scoffed, "Since ages ago, duh," she then took a portion of the new mixture and placed it with the heavier one.

"Really?" he asked before a sly smile crossed his face. "Was it for valentine's day?" he asked.

The girl immediately began to sputter. "What! No way! Why would I- Ugh you're so annoying!" she yelled, mixing the ingredients furiously.

Jackpot.

"So, who was it? Who did you give your baked goods to?" he continued to press. While he was fine with her bullying him half the time, sometimes he needed to have a go at her too.

Kana turned away from him. "Leave me alone!" she snapped. "It's not like you know anyone in my class, dumbass!" she continued.

Okuto snickered, "Ah, it was someone from your class then?" he teased.

His sister turned even redder. "Of course, it's not like I talk to anyone outside of it!" she squeaked, adding more of the mixture in qith the chocolate.

"Was he the one that gave you the cookies back?" he asked, wanting to be cheeky.

Kana huffed, "So? What if he was!" she yelled.

Okuto laughed, "Aha! You did give a boy chocolates! Was it just him or did more boys give you chocolates?" he asked, wiggking his brows.

His sister paused. Not facing her brother, she asked, "Does it have to be a boy?"

The boy blinked, taken aback by the sudden question. The atmosphere seemed to shift, taking a more serious tone. "No," Okuto answered after a beat of silence. "It doesn't have to be," he reassured her.

"...If I tell you…do you promise to not tell mom and dad?" she asked, still looking away from him.

Okuto hummed, "I can keep a secret," he agreed.

Finally, she turned to him. "Then, is it okay if a girl gave me chocolates on Valentine's day?" she asked.

"That's fine," Okuto agreed, giving her a reassuring smile.

"It's not weird?" she asked.

Okuto shook his head, "Not at all"

"So…it's not weird if I gave her chocolates back?" she asked, anxiously fiddling with her fingers.

Okuto took her hands in his. "Kana," he began. "Do you like her?" he asked.

Kana froze. Eyes wide as she stared up at her brother. "Is it bad if I do?" she whispered, voice frail and laced with fear.

Just then something clicked for him.

"Kana," he chuckled. "It isn't wrong. It isn't bad or weird. No matter who you like, you're still my little sister. You always will be," he told her.

His sister looked at him in shock before tears began welling in her eyes. "You mean it?" she asked, sniffling.

"Yeah. I mean, what kind of gay man would I be if I didn't accept my little sister for liking girls?" he asked with a laugh.

Kana gasped. "You're gay?"

Okuto nodded, letting go of her hands. "I am," he chuckled. "Hey," he started again, wiping a stray tear from Kana's face. "If you ever need someone to cover for you whenever you go on a date with a girl, I'll be happy to do so," he offered.

Kana smiled, more tears slipping past her lashes. "Thank you," she went in to hug him. "And," she sniffled. "If you get a date with a boy I can do the same," she told him through her tears.

Okuto laughed as he hugged her back. "Thanks," he hummed. "Here, I can finish this up. You have to do it to learn," he chimed. Kana would have replied if she wasn't still crying. Instead, she stood next to him as he mixed it all together. Slowly calming down and through her sniffled giving him instructions.

Putting the brownies in the oven, he turned to Kana. "Did you put on the timer?"

"Yeah," she answered, her tears having dried fully.

The rest of their time was spent in comfortable silence. Occasional jokes were exchanged as they cleaned up the rest. Until, finally, their parents returned home. As Okuto layed in bed he reflected on what his sister told him. He found a smile tugging at his lips. He had always felt so alone. He never really had many friends, and the ones he did have were straight. There was no one in the world for him to relate to. No one to share his crushes with or talk about boys. Nowhere to express himself outside the confines of his books. But now he had two people. One, an eccentric transfer student who had become his best friend. And another his sister, who he had known for most of his life yet never truly understood. Okuto found comfort in it. The solidarity he now shared both inside and outside his family. It made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to be so alone anymore.

Chapter Text

Ever since he got a girlfriend, he's felt like he's doing most everything right. He has good friends. Sure they're stupid sometimes, but they're fun to be with and they help pass the time. Now he even has a girlfriend, Hanna. She's one of the prettiest girls in school. Kind and sweet, she's a good match for him. While she can be clingy, she keeps him company and drags him out of his comfort zone. Life was peaceful and whole. Even his sister noted how calm Hirose had been the past week. Life was good, as it was meant to be.

Then a transfer student came.

And suddenly it wasn't so calm.

There are things Hirose has gotten used to. He had his obnoxious friends who were loud and made gross jokes. And then he has Nakamura. The quiet boy at the corner of the classroom. Alwas around, silently observing everyone. Hirose had gotten used to his stare. Feeling eyes on him throughout the day. It became somewhat comfortable after a while. An expected occurrence throughout the day. But over time, the starring was coming to be less and less. Hirose would hear Nakamura's voice more often. An unusual sound that was slowly becoming the norm. He'd no longer be around after class. No longer present in the back of Hirose's mind whenever he looked over. It's as if Nakamura had finally found his place. The puzzle piece he had been missing since they were first years.

Had Hirose found his?

Their blooming friendship had inspired Hirose to try. To deepen the friendships he had. To try and get even a glimpse at the closeness Sasaki and Nakamura had.

None of it worked.

He would initiate deeper conversations. Try to share more than just interests with his friends. They were silent. Unable to do the same they'd awkwardly move on. Swerving around any attempts at deeper connection. They were scared. Still children deep down. Children that had learned to keep those sorts of things to themselves for the sake of others' comfort. So Hirose stopped trying with them

Instead, he turned to Hanna. Sweet Hanna.

Hirose was holding her hand as they walked back home. Though the action was intimate his fingers were not. It all felt like decorum. A necessary step to life. Tightening his grip he began. Began with re-telling one of his fears. His voice held together with tape and glue. "Do you think I should hang out with my friends tomorrow, even though I don't want to?"

Hanna's reply was expected. "Of course not," she reassured him.

"What if they don't like me for saying no?" He continued, slowly allowing for himself to be seen. Peeking through the curtain. A glimmer of hope in the dim spotlight shining on him.

Hanna frowned, "That's a silly reason to not like you. If that's all it takes then they aren't good friends," she explained.

Hirose could feel it. The stage was set. "That's true. Still, if I did that every time I don't know how often I'd be able to hang out with them," he admits, a small smile on his face.

"You know, Hirose," Hanna began. Hirose had already filled in what she was about to say. A multitude of reactions. In between each was a glimpse of a memory. Black hair ruffled by sea winds, fair skin and lanky limbs. And- "I didn't know you were such a worrier"

And she wasn't him.

"Right," he chuckled, scratching the back of his head. The spotlight was gone. The curtain left still. "Sorry, I guess I've been thinking too much recently," he hummed.

They returned home. Laying on his bed he replied that seaside memory again and again. Every time he added something new. Something he should have said. Something he should have admitted to. Slowly, his memories shift to the glimpses he gets at school. Moments that barely scratch at the surface. He imagined himself as Sasaki. Always at Nakamura's side. Teasing and talking freely. Sharing casual affections. Then he imagined himself as Nakamura. Letting someone else take the lead in adventures. Letting down his guard and allowing himself to be known without regret. Then he was neither. And he was laying in bed. And he was Hirose. Never alone, but always lonely. Hirose who hid from the spotlight. Hirose who was scared to lose his friends for being honest. Hirose who wants everything he can't have. Just Hirose.

And then tomorrow came, as it always does.

Ever since he got a girlfriend, he's felt like he's done nothing right. He has friends but not friendship. He has a girlfriend but not a relationship. Life was slow and isolating. His sister notes how calm Hirose has been the past two weeks. Life was gruelling, as it often was. Still, there was a faint light. A dim spotlight shining on his curtains.

As he walked to school, he could still smell the sea.

Chapter Text

Nakamura had been biking down the street when he first laid his eyes on it. The cat café. It was a small place. A little blue and white store squished between a salon and a tea shop. It had large windows, allowing for direct viewing of the cats inside. There was a variety of them, from the long haired Ragdoll to the hyper Bangal. Perhaps that's why it had firmly landed itself in the list of things Nakamura wanted to try. He had been itching to pay the cute cats a visit ever since the café opened a few years ago. The only problem?

“Oh my gosh, baby, I can't wait to go to the cat café with you!”

It was an extremely popular dating spot. Nakamura watched with dismay as piles upon piles of people lined the café. Nakamura had hoped that after four years of the shop being around that its popularity would dwindle. Sadly, the opposite was true. Nakamura only saw more and more couples sitting along the round two person tables inside the café. The shy boy sighed as he biked past the blue and white shop. There was no way he'd be able to just visit by himself. It would be too awkward to just sit at one of the tables by himself as the cats roamed around. Nakamura sighed as he rounded a corner. As the days got warmer, he felt the need to be out more. But there really wasn't anywhere Nakamura was especially drawn to. He didn't know how he would get over this conundrum. As per usual, Nakamura was about to push the idea of ever visiting the café out of his head when someone suddenly came to mind.

“Oh, and for number six, all you have to do is check an item off your bucket list.”

Maybe that weasel could be good for something after all. The next day, Nakamura came with a plan. He entered the classroom, ignoring everyone and zeroing in on Sasaki. The taller boy was amicably chatting with his friends at the back of the room. He chuckled at what one of them said when he suddenly felt a presence behind him. He turned around, jumping at how close Nakamura was. “Woah, when did-” before Sasaki could finish, he was being dragged to their desks by the arm. Sasaki stumbled along with a disgruntled expression. He looked between Nakamura and his friends. “Well, good morning to you too?” He chuckled nervously as Nakamura gently pushed on his shoulders, sitting him down on his chair. “Hey, if this is about the pictures I swear-”

“You're free today, right?” Nakamura interrupted him before blinking. “Wait, what pictures?” He asked, squinting at Sasaki.

Sasaki straightened up. “Huh? I didn’t say anything,” he said quickly, waving his hands. “Anyway, I’m free today, yeah. Why?” Sasaki asked, trying to distract Nakamura.

Nakamura kept squinting at Sasaki skeptically for a moment before dropping the subject for now. “Well, do you remember how one of the steps for…” Nakamura trailed off, looking around nervously. “That,” he ended up saying clumsily. “Is crossing something off my bucket list?” He asked, awkwardly. Ah, Nakamura, ever the smooth talker.

“Yeah?” Sasaki frowned, a blink later he was out of his seat with a gasp. “You want me to come with you?” The fluffy haired boy asked excitedly, little stars in his eyes as he grabbed Nakamura’s hands, holding them to his chest. His smile was so bright Nakamura was sure he went bling just now.

“You don’t even know what I want to do yet,” Nakamura complained, looking up at the taller boy with a perplexed look.

Sasaki waved a dismissive hand, letting out a puff of air. “Bah, doesn’t matter what we do, as long as we’re together I’m sure it’ll be fun,” he beamed.

Oh God. Nakamura thought he was about to have a heart attack.

He quickly swiped his hands back, looking away from Sasaki. “Don’t say things like that so loudly,” he scolded the taller boy as he crossed his arms, trying to hide the flush on his cheeks.

Sasaki chuckled. “Sorry, sorry,” He apologized, settling back down on his seat. “So, what are we doing?” He asked, looking up at his friend.

Nakamura looked back at him. “ Cat café, it’s on the way to my house,” he explained, shifting from one foot to another. Agh, why was he even nervous about this? Sasaki basically agreed already. Still, he couldn’t shake the anxious feeling that he would say no.

Thankfully for Nakamura, Sasaki was acting like an over-excited puppy again. Or maybe a weasel would be more fitting. Perhaps even a ferret. Sasaki was just as long as one anyway. He clasped his hands together. “Perfect, I love cats,” the taller boy agreed. “Oh I knew that was going to be a great addition to the list,” he giggled.

Nakamura raised a brow, “So that was your plan all along, was it?” he squinted down at Sasaki.

The taller waved his hands defensively. “What? No. It was all totally because I wanted to help my very best friend. What gives you the idea I’m just using this as an excuse to go to cool places with someone? Hahahah,” Sasaki said in a totally believable way. Look at his face. He always cringes like that!

The shy boy hummed, not believing it for a second. “Uh huh, well, you can make up for being so sneaky by paying for the whole thing,” Nakamura threatened, not really meaning it.

Sasaki shrugged. “That’s fine. Actually, I prefer it that way,” he chuckled. “I’ll treat you anytime,” Sasaki stated casually, as if the girls nearby weren’t swooning.

Nakamura sputtered. “What did I just say about saying things like that?” He squeaked, lightly kicking Sasaki’s shin.

The taller boy laughed, rubbing his shin. “Whoops,” he smiled up at Nakamura apologetically.

Before Nakamura could tell him off more, Mr. Otogiri came into the room. Class went by smoothly. Nakamura found himself thinking a lot about the cat café. It was to the point that he didn’t even notice Hirose glancing at him. As soon as the school day ended, Nakamura was quick to pack up. He barely got everything in his bag when Sasaki was already pulling him out of his chair by his arm. “Come on, come on, you’re so slow Nakamura,” the weasel whined.

Nakamura squeaked as he was swiftly dragged off, papers still in hand. “And you’re impatient,” he quipped back, shoes rubbing against the floor as he stumbled along. The pair rushed to leave. Nakamura almost fell a second time when he barely got his shoe on before being dragged again. The breeze was warm. Summer was approaching. A bright blue sky greeted them above as Sasaki continued to drag Nakamura by his arm. He laughed excitedly, turning to give the shorter boy a blinding smile. In that split moment, Nakamura understood why cats loved the sun. Before he could bask too long in Sasaki’s gaze, the fluffy haired boy turned around again. “Okay, which street do we turn to?” He asked, looking around. Nakamura blinked. Oh. They were going the wrong way.

After Nakamura got them back on track, they wound up in front of the café. As per usual, it was filled with couples. At the door, Nakamura hesitated. He frowned at the windows. There were so many people. He could feel his stomach tightening the closer they got to the café. His hands began to sweat and his heartbeat quickened. Nakamura was about to start spiralling when he heard some chimes. Looking over, he could see Sasaki holding the door open for him. “Come on,” he encouraged, an excited smile on his face. Taking a gulp of air, Nakamura nodded and entered.

Inside, the shop had lovely aesthetics. The tables were on the smaller side. They were a darker wood with matching chairs. The backs were black and metal, they curled into whimsical spirals. The floors were a chequered pattern. At the front was the waiting area. The kitchens could be spotted behind the counter. There was yet another glass door that then led into the café. Beside it was a little area where the cats were allowed to rest. Nakamura glanced around, a small smile on his face. He glanced at Sasaki. The taller boy’s face was glowing with how excited he looked over the cats. Nakamura chuckled. He nudged Sasaki. “What are you going to order?” He asked.

Sasaki startled. He looked back to Nakamura. “Oh, hm, let me see,” He looked at the menu. The two went through the process. Sasaki ended up getting a matcha latte while Nakamura settled on milk tea. They decided to get some macarons with it too. Sasaki insisted on paying for all of it. And with that, the two were allowed to enter. Going inside, they settled on an empty table. Sasaki was quieter for once, transfixed on the cats. He was gushing over them and would often turn to Nakamura to point out something the cats were doing. Nakamura chuckled, nodding along and looking at everything Sasaki pointed at. One of the cats that was allowed to roam about even hopped on Sasaki’s lap for a moment. Sasaki scared it off within three minutes because of how much he was moving. He waved at the cat as it left, turning to Nakamura to start chattering about how soft the cat was. It was actually quite nice. Enough so that Nakamura almost forgot it was a popular dating spot.

Almost.

It was Sasaki’s expression that gave it away. The way his eyes had travelled to the same spot twice. His wincing and nervous glance to Nakamura. “Hey…don’t look now but…” Sasaki leaned in as he whispered. “Hirose and Hanna just walked in,” he told Nakamura with a worried expression.

Nakamura blinked.

Oh.

That’s right. That’s why they were here in the first place. Nakamura cleared his throat. “Right, um, that’s okay,” he said stiffly. “Maybe they won’t-”

“Nakamura?”

“-recognize us,” Nakamura melted into his chair. Well, that’s what he gets for testing his luck. God was quite the jokester it seems. What’s next? Is he going to choke on his tea? Before he could test that theory, Hirose and Hanna came up next to their table.

“Hey, you’re the new kid right?” Hanna asked with a smile, looking at Sasaki.

Sasaki nodded. “I mean, it’s almost been a month now, I wouldn’t consider myself all that new anymore,” he chuckled with a cheeky smile.

Hanna giggled. “Is that right? Sorry about that, I just haven’t learned your name yet,” she apologized. As Hanna and Sasaki spoke, Hirose had turned to Nakamura.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here, Nakamura,” Hirose smiled, looking at his friend.

Nakamura waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, I just got dragged over by that ferret,” he gestured to Sasaki with an awkward chuckle. Nakamura had the nasty habit of lying whenever he thought something would make him look bad. This was especially the case around Hirose. Nakamura nervously straightened up. “What about you? What are you two doing here?” he asked awkwardly.

Hirose chuckled. “Same reason as you. I got dragged over,” he explained. “We’re on a bit of a date,” Hirose shrugged.

Even after all this time it still hurt to hear Hirose say that.

“Ah, is that right?” Nakamura said with an empty chuckle.

Hirose nodded. He ran a hand through his messy brown hair. “Actually, Nakamura-” Hirose was about to ask him something when Sasaki suddenly butted in.

“Hey, I don’t think we’ve actually had a proper introduction,” Sasaki mentioned. He beamed at Hirose. “Name’s Sasaki Haru,” He hummed, his eyes turning into half moons as he smiled. Sasaki stuck out a hand for Hirose to shake.

Hirose chuckled awkwardly at the formality of it. “Yeah, hi. I’m Hirose Aiki,” he introduced himself. “I’m a friend of Nakamura’s,” he cleared up.

Sasaki hummed, “Oh I see. Yeah, he’s talked about you,” the taller boy mentioned.

Hirose perked up, “You have?” He turned to Nakamura. The shy boy straightened up in surprise. Before he could open his mouth to answer, Sasaki began talking again.

“Oh yeah, all good things. Apparently you can get along with pretty much anyone,” Sasaki rested his chin on the palm of his hand, a lazy smile on his face. Even when he wasn’t trying he looked pretty. Damn the heavens for such clear favouritism.

Hirose scratched the back of his head, waving a dismissive hand. “Oh, that’s not true at all,” he shook his head with a polite smile. Hannah grabbed onto his arm.

“It definitely is. Isn’t Hirose so accommodating?” she asked, looking up at her boyfriend with sweet eyes.

The brunette looked flustered now. “Jeez,” he sighed, melting a little into his girlfriend. “Well, we’ll leave you two to it then,” he asserted. “Let’s continue our date,” Hirose began to guide Hanna away. He gave Nakamura one last look, smiling at him.

Nakamura managed to smile back. The duo finished up quickly after that. Leaving the café, Sasaki stretched his arms over his head. “Man, that was some good tea,” he commented, walking down the street with Nakamura beside him. The shy boy was quieter than usual. “And the cats were so cute! I can’t believe one sat on my lap,” Sasaki squealed, bringing his hands back down. “Oh and did you-” the boy paused as he felt Nakamura grab his wrist. Sasaki looked at him, a confused smile on his face. “Hm? Are you okay Nakamura?” he asked, looking down at his slightly shorter friend.

“Thank you,” Nakamura said in a light voice, looking at Sasaki with a warm expression. “For talking to Hirose for me,” he specified. Nakamura’s narrow eyes seemed to shine. His lips pulled into a sweet smile. For someone so pale, he looked so full of life.

Sasaki was startled to find that his breath had been stolen from him. He quickly chuckled, waving a hand as he looked away. “Bah, no need to thank me. That’s what friends are for,” he reassured Nakamura. Though…Sasaki feared Nakamura was getting close to stealing something else if he kept smiling at Sasaki like that.