Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s so quiet in the war room that you could hear a pin drop. Not a single person dares to say a word - not even the favored princes - and all eyes remain fixed on the head of the table, where a large figure sits hunched over in its chair, clutching the latest newsreel between two massive fists.

Having been forewarned of some of the contents of said newsreel, Sanji does his best to keep anything from showing on his face, to maintain his expression in an implacable facade. He thinks he largely succeeds in controlling himself outwardly, but inwardly his gut is churning with emotion.

The newsreel twitches, and the five people not holding the paper sit up a little straighter in their seats, each of them bracing for impact without actually meaning to as slowly, oh so slowly, the paper is lowered down until it’s resting flat on the table.

“Well,” Judge says, his mouth working like he wants to spit. “This is certainly an … unexpected development.”

Yonji snorts, always the least skilled of the five of them when it comes to reading a room. “I don’t think ‘unexpected’ is the word to use, Father,” he says plaintively. “I’m pretty sure you can start with ‘disaster’ and work your way up from there.”

A sharp spike of resentment stabs its way through Sanji, and it’s only years of practice that keep him from glaring at his younger brother. Coming from him, a crack like that would result in a stint in the castle cells, and possibly a few broken bones to boot. Because it had come from one of the children Judge actually cares about, however, all that happens is the king narrows his eyes.

“It’s not the result I would have expected from the likes of Kaido and Big Mom going up against a pack of ragtag upstarts,” he says finally. “Having said that, given the swath Strawhat Luffy has been cutting through the Grand Line since his arrival three years ago, perhaps people should have placed better odds on him.”

“But you said he was a ‘wet behind the ears pup’ who was going to get what was coming to him when he inevitably pissed off the wrong person,” Yonji notes, his features twisting up in visible confusion. “So what does that say about you?”

A hollow thudding sound rings out from under the table - most likely Reiju kicking her youngest sibling in the shin based on the way he grimaces. For his part, Sanji holds very still so as to keep himself from rolling his eyes.

“Never mind what I said,” Judge declares, his words containing just enough bite to come across as an order. “What’s done is done, and the fact remains that, with her defeat at the hands of Strawhat and his allies, our proposed alliance with Big Mom is essentially dead in the water.”

“Big Mom has a lot of territory,” Niji points out, his brow furrowed in concentration, “and her family is huge. Her getting snuffed out won’t be enough to turn them into a non-entity overnight. I’m sure whoever’s left would still make a hell of an ally.”

“Maybe if whoever succeeds her was going to retain her title of Emperor,” Judge admits grudgingly, tapping the newsreels with his finger. “According to this, though, that’s not the case. Her second in command, Perospero, is believed to have been lost in Wano as well. That’s going to create a power vacuum, one from which Katakuri will most likely emerge as the winner.”

“So?”

“So Katakuri was rumored to not be supportive of an alliance with us,” Reiju cuts in coolly, continuing on when Judge nods his head in approval. “His priorities are also different from that of his mother and oldest brother’s. He’s never given any indication of wanting an Emperor’s title. Instead, he’ll be focusing on protecting his family specifically, and making sure they don’t splinter apart like the Whitebeard Pirates did when Newgate fell at Marineford.”

“Exactly,” Judge agrees. “Besides, even if he did want the title, it’s already been passed to someone else. Kaido’s too.”

“Who?” Sanji blurts, unable to stop himself since the answer is going to have a direct impact on his future wellbeing.

Judge glares at him, but allows him the question. Gripping the edge of the paper in one hand, he flips it casually around, and sends it skidding to the end of the table where Sanji’s sitting. 

“Blackbeard and Shanks are still in power, obviously,” he says as Sanji swallows and peers down at the four faces that are splashed across the front page. “They’ve both previously rejected our offers, so we’ll leave them be. Buggy the Clown is a new player, though, and I suppose the other one isn’t much of a surprise given his role in Kaido and Big Mom’s defeat.”

“So which will it be?” Ichiji asks, speaking up for the first time. “The clown or the Strawhats?”

“Buggy has money,” Niji notes, making Sanji want to kick his stupid face in. “His Cross Guild organization is extremely profitable by all accounts, and he’s got the likes of Mihawk and Crocodile working under him. That’s got to count for something.”  

“Spoken like someone who’s never met him,” Reiju says. “Buggy’s an idiot, and easily the weakest of the current Four Emperors. He’s also extremely annoying. Even if he were to say yes, we’d then be stuck suffering the consequence of having to frequently deal with him.”

“You think we should approach Strawhat then?” Judge asks, looking at her shrewdly. 

Reiju shrugs, unperturbed in the face of the king’s gaze. “Strawhat Luffy’s rise to power has been nothing short of meteoric. He’s said to have the kind of connections most crews could only dream of, and, aside from the incident at Marineford where he was younger, outclassed, and separated from his people, he’s never lost. Of course, the choice is yours, Father, but if we were to put the matter to a vote, he’d get mine.”

Judge doesn’t reply right away, but it’s clear from the look on his face that he’s considering her words, and Sanji stomps down heavily on the urge to groan.

*****

“Is this your idea of helping me?” He finds himself asking a few hours later, once he’s back in the relative safety of his personal chambers. “Or do you secretly find my situation as amusing as the rest of those assholes?”

“ Of course it’s my idea of helping you,” Reiju replies from where she’s seated in one of the two egg-shaped chairs that rest near the fireplace. Sanji hates them as much as he does everything else in this godforsaken country, but she’s oddly enamored with them. “Or would you rather our father marry you off to the clown?”

“Ah!” Sanji stops in the middle of his pacing to whirl around and jab a finger in her direction. “ Your father,” he practically spits. “I’ve told you a thousand times not to ever, ever imply any kind of familial tie between me and that stupid, sanctimonious prick . I am not his son, and I never will be!”

“Are you done?” Reiju asks after he’s spent a good twenty seconds standing in the middle of the room with his sides heaving. “Or would you rather continue bickering over semantics than have any kind of productive discussions?”

“It’s not semantics,” Sanji snarls. “The only father I’ve ever known is back in the East Blue where he belongs, and you can either respect that fact or leave. If it weren’t for the need to protect him, we both know I wouldn’t be here.”

“If you weren’t here, you’d be dead,” Reiju retorts. “Fa - Judge was never going to take no for an answer. If you’d opted to stay with Red Leg, or if there hadn’t been anyone who could’ve been used to get you to see reason, you’d have been taken here by force and killed if you refused to cooperate. Is that what you want?”

“I’ve got to be honest,” Sanji says. “These days, it’s a little tempting.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Reiju replies just as quickly. “It’s not funny.”

“Who’s joking?” Sanji mutters, some of the fire leaching from his voice in the wake of his sister’s pinched expression. “Exactly what kind of life do you think I have here?”

“At least you still have a life,” Reiju counters. “Call me selfish if you like, but I happen to find that preferable to the alternative. And - getting back to our earlier topic of discussion - I am doing my best to improve your circumstances. The least you could do is show a little appreciation.”

“Appreciation?” Sanji echoes, shoving his hands in his pockets and resuming his pacing. He desperately wants a smoke all of a sudden, but he has to be careful about sneaking them since Judge doesn’t approve. “Sure, I’ll appreciate the fact that you pointed your bastard father in the direction of a Pirate Emperor who’s at least close to me in age, as opposed to nearly twice that. Great, I’m sure he’ll be a much better choice.”

“Strawhat’s age had nothing to do with why I encouraged Judge towards him,” Reiju replies with a roll of her eyes. “His reputation did.”

“Meaning?” Sanji asks, intrigued in spite of himself.

Reclining back in her seat, Reiju crosses one leg over the other and rests her hands on her knee. “Strawhat Luffy causes chaos wherever he goes, but while the Navy and the World Government loathe him, the people he leaves behind tend to tell a much different story. They don’t praise him - probably because doing so would be considered treason - but they don’t condemn him either, which is a commentary in and of itself.”

“A cage is still a cage, no matter how you slice it, Reiju,” Sanji reminds her. “If Strawhat agrees to this insane plan, then I’m still going to be just as trapped as I would’ve been if the wedding to Big Mom’s daughter had gone through.”

“I never said it was an ideal solution,” she replies. “Merely that in my opinion it’s the best of the available options. At least if Strawhat takes the deal you’ll know Red Leg and the rest of his chefs will be safe. That’s got to count for something.”

It counts for everything, Sanji knows, or at least is going to do his best to convince himself. He still sees Zeff’s distraught expression every time he thinks about the fateful day when Germa’s snail ships had surrounded the Baratie and Judge had emerged to announce his demands, but he’d made the only choice he could under the circumstances.

Feeling all the fight go out of him, Sanji lets his shoulders sag as he comes to a stop next to the window. He peers through the panes at the churning waves outside, wondering if Judge has already changed their course to match the Strawhats’ last known whereabouts.

“I’ll go along with whatever Judge wants,” he says, as much to himself as to his sister. “But don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

*****

The pub their crew has settled on is bustling, but thankfully no one seems overly inclined to approach their table. They’re definitely getting the odd furtive look, and Zoro’s heard more than one person utter the words ‘Emperor Strawhat’ under their breath, but so far they’re largely being left alone.

“I’m not the only one who thinks this is weird, right?” Usopp asks from his seat near the entrance of their booth. “Like, you guys feel it too, don’t you?”

“We always knew Luffy was going to make a name for himself,” Zoro mutters, swirling the tankard of ale he’s holding, his words a subtle reminder that he’s the one who’s been with their captain since the beginning. “This is a logical conclusion from that.”

“As if you’ve ever been logical a day in your life,” Nami scoffs, digging an elbow into his side. “Knock off the hoity toity, brooding swordsman bullshit and enjoy your drink. You’re broke enough you’re not going to be getting another one anytime soon.”

“Oi, what’s that supposed to mean?” He demands, his good eye narrowing as he glares at her. “We left Wano with a ton of loot thanks to how grateful they were to us for saving them. My share should more than cover a few drinks.”

“Not with how much you already owe me,” she replies, batting her eyes at him and smiling coyly. “We’re just about even now, but the more you drink tonight, the more you’re going right back in the hole.”

“ Witch ,” Zoro starts, and across from him Usopp rolls his eyes heavenward.

“And on that note, I’m going to go find somewhere else to hang out,” the sniper says, standing as he slides out of the booth. “It looks like there’s a game of darts starting up down back. I think I might go try my luck.”

“Let us know if people start placing bets,” Nami calls after him. “I’m sure I could spin that into some kind of profit.”

“Are you ever not thinking about money?” Zoro asks, while Usopp raises a hand in silent acknowledgement before he fades into the crowd. 

“No,” Nami replies, grinning wide when he snorts. 

“Witch,” he grumbles again, but with much less force this time.

Now that Usopp’s left, it’s just the two of them still sitting in the booth. The rest of the crew have been slowly dispersing over the course of the night, such that most of them are scattered around the establishment - minus Jinbe, who’s keeping watch back on the Sunny .

Luffy himself is near the center of the bar, dancing with a rack of meat in hand and Chopper perched on his shoulders, while a crowd gathers to cheer them on. Brook’s not far away, standing on the outskirts of the group with his guitar resting in his grip. Lastly, Franky and Robin seem to be enjoying each other’s company, oblivious to anyone else around them.

All told everyone seems to be safe and in good spirits, so Zoro reclines back in his seat with a satisfied grunt. He lets himself sag a little deeper into the padded contours of the booth, taking a swig from his tankard and letting the liquid burn its way down his throat.

“You never do fully turn it off, do you?”

“Hmm?” Having closed his eye momentarily, Zoro cracks it back open to find Nami watching him with a more somber expression on her face than he feels the situation warrants. “Wazzat?”

Her expression morphing into something more like a grimace, Nami leans back until her posture is a mirror of Zoro’s own. Her mouth works for a bit, as if she’s considering and discarding a number of things she wants to say, before finally she sighs.

“You’re always on alert,” she says flatly. “Even in a place like this, where there’s no danger to be found, you never seem to fully turn off the guard dog attitude.”

Zoro blinks, taken aback by the near accusatory tone in her voice. “I’m the first mate,” he reminds her, “and the main combatant on the crew. Everyone else has their own roles to play, but that’s the only one I’ve got.”

“Maybe,” she replies dubiously, “but you don’t have to do it twenty four/seven. I don’t spend every waking moment working on my map, and the others all take breaks now and again too. Like tonight for instance.”

“That’s different,” he insists, wondering where this is coming from. “If you take a break, that means maybe we take a little longer to get somewhere. If I take a break, that means maybe we all die because I let someone get the drop on me. The varying repercussions are … significant.”

“‘Significant’,” she echoes, her fingers flashing in a sarcastic set of air quotes. “You may be our top fighter after Luffy, and by a wide margin at that, but it won’t kill you - or us - for you to take a night off.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” a voice says coolly, and when Zoro glances up, there’s suddenly a strikingly beautiful pink haired woman sitting in the booth with them. “The world is a dangerous place, after all, so I’d argue it pays to remain on alert.”

His observation haki having flared at almost the same time the woman had started speaking, Zoro reaches for his swords, his hand curving around Kitetsu’s hilt and drawing her free in the same fluid motion that sees him get to his feet. 

“Who the fuck are you?” He snarls, leveling the cursed blade right between the woman’s eyes. “And what the fuck do you think you’re trying to pull?”

The newcomer doesn’t so much as twitch, but Zoro feels the familiar sense of someone prodding at him with their own haki, which causes him to hold Kitetsu a little tighter. “Back off.” He grits out, surprised when the presence recedes and the woman raises her hands in a show of surrender. 

“My apologies,” she says. “I meant no offense.”

Zoro snorts, refusing to release his hold on the sword. “In my experience, people who say they mean no offense usually mean the opposite.”

“And in my experience, people who wave swords at other people in a crowded bar tend to draw a lot of unwanted attention,” Nami snaps, shooting him an exasperated glare. “Stand down, Zoro. At least until we’ve heard what our visitor here has to say.”

Maintaining the woman’s gaze for a few seconds longer, Zoro waits to see what she’ll do, and grunts when the answer is nothing. “Fine,” he mutters, tucking Kitetsu away and dropping down back into the booth, “but whatever it is, it’d better be worth hearing.”

“I suppose that will depend on you two,” the woman replies. “Forgive me if I seem too forward in my approach, but I’ve been sent to request an audience with your captain, and you were the only ones I could get near without a bunch of strangers overhearing as well.”

“Luffy’s not in the habit of granting audiences to most people,” Nami informs her, picking up her previously discarded drink and taking a too-casual sip from it. “However, he’s definitely not in the habit of granting them to people who still haven’t introduced themselves. Despite being asked once already.”

“Again, my apologies,” the woman says, inclining her head in acknowledgement of the navigator’s point. “Vinsmoke Reiju,” she adds primly. “Crown Princess of the Kingdom of Germa.”

Something pings in the back of Zoro’s brain at the mention of the kingdom’s name, and nor does he think he’s the only one. It’s subtle, but he knows Nami well enough not to miss the way her hand tightens around her glass, or the slight widening of her eyes. 

“That’s quite the title,” the redhead says, doing an impressive job of keeping any concern from showing in her voice despite her consternation. “But what does a princess want with a bunch of pirates?”

“Please,” Reiju replies, her tone suggesting she’s doing everything short of waving an admonishing finger at the other woman. “I think we can all agree that you people aren’t just any pirates, hmm? After all, your captain has just been declared as an Emperor of the Sea. That’s enough to catch anyone’s attention.”

“Including - whose, exactly?” Nami asks. “You said you’re here for someone who wants to talk to Luffy.”

“That’s correct,” Reiju says with a nod. “Vinsmoke Judge, my father and the current King of Germa, has a proposition for him.”

“Which is?”

The corners of Reiju’s mouth turn up in a motion that’s far too flat to be called a smile, and once again Zoro has a niggling sensation in the back of his head that the words Vinsmoke and Germa should mean something to him. He keeps quiet, however, content to let Nami run the show as she fishes for information.

Unfortunately, Reiju’s apparently having none of it. “My role tonight is simply to act as a messenger,” she says, her strange smile still not meeting her eyes. “If you’re interested, I can tell you where to find us, and if you’re not, I’ll be on my way.”

“We’re interested,” Nami says, surprising Zoro with how quickly she agrees. “And you can assure your king I speak for Luffy when I say that. What are the details?”

Somehow managing to look pleased despite her expression never really changing, Reiju draws a folded piece of paper from the pocket of her dress and hands it to Nami. “All the information you’ll need is in there,” she says. “I do hope we’ll see you soon.”

Her piece said, the princess stands and walks away from their table. Zoro watches her as she strides across the room, deftly avoiding coming into contact with any of the crowd until she’s reached the exit where a tall, muscular red headed man is standing. The two share enough features in common - in particular matching sets of strangely curled eyebrows - that Zoro feels safe in assuming they’re related, and he notes with some unease that the redhead seems even more emotionless than Reiju.

“That was weird,” he mutters, refusing to take his gaze off the pair until they’ve safely left the building. “Why’d you tell her Luffy would meet with her old man? The whole thing seems sketchy as fuck.”

“And then some,” Nami murmurs, most of her attention on the paper she’s now unfolded in her hands. “But when opportunity comes knocking, Zoro, you don’t tell it to scram until after you’ve made use of it.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He asks. 

“I’ll explain once we’re back on the ship,” she says, tucking the paper safely into the pocket of her jeans and clambouring out of the booth with far less grace than Reiju had. “Come on,” she calls over her shoulder. “I need you to help me wrangle the others. Believe it or not, we’ve suddenly got work to do.”

*****

If Zoro had thought Nami’s behaviour was strange at the bar, her actions once they’re back on the ship do nothing to dispel him of that notion. Rather than call it a night and regroup in the morning due to the late hour, she herds the entire crew into the galley, even going so far as to summon Jinbe down from the crow’s nest so that no one’s missing.

“Well this isn’t ominous at all,” Usopp says from where he’s sandwiched between Brook and Franky. “I kind of suspect I don’t want to know the answer, but what’s this about, Nami?”

In answer, Nami pulls the folded piece of paper free from her pants pocket, and drops it down onto the center of the galley table. “Germa,” she says flatly. “Which should ring a bell to at least you and Zoro, Usopp. Luffy too.”

“Germa?” Usopp repeats, his eyes going wide all of a sudden. “Oh crap! As in the insane, floating warmonger country from the North Blue? That Germa?!”

“I have to confess, I’m familiar with the name,” Robin says, speaking up from Franky’s other side. “However, I’m at a loss for how they’re connected to us.”

“They’re not,” Nami admits. “Not really, anyway, but way back in the early days of sailing together Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, and I made a promise to someone about how we’d react if an opportunity ever came calling where they’re concerned. As crazy as it sounds, it looks like tonight that may have just come to pass.”

“The old guy!” Zoro says, the name finally clicking. “The chef from - what’s the place called?”

“The Baratie ,” Usopp says grimly, nodding along when Zoro does. “The best seafaring restaurant in the entire East Blue.”

“If not more so,” Zoro agrees. “I was half dead when we left that place, but I still remember how amazing everything tasted.”

“That’s great, bro,” Franky cuts in, “but it doesn’t really help the rest of us understand what’s going on. How about you Easterners share with the class, huh?”

“It’s simple,” Luffy says, speaking up for the first time from his place at the head of the table. “Germa’s where we’re supposed to find our cook.”

Silence descends over the room as everyone not in the know shares a series of confused looks with each other. When no clarification then appears to be forthcoming, Franky shrugs and turns back to Luffy in his apparent role as unofficial spokesperson.

“Right on, Cap,” the cyborg says with a quick thumbs up. “Doesn’t really tell us much, though.”

Nami huffs out an exasperated sigh. “It’s like this,” she says, tapping a finger against the paper that she’s yet to unfold. “Back when it was just the four of us, we sailed the Merry from the East Blue to the Grand Line. Is everybody with me so far?”

A series of murmurs confirm this to be the case, and she nods her head in satisfaction. “Good. Well, not far from Loguetown and the entrance to Reverse Mountain, there’s a stretch of sea where - as Usopp put it - you can find a seafaring restaurant called the Baratie . It’s owned by a former pirate captain called Red Leg Zeff, and staffed by a bunch of other ex-thugs.”

“His fighting chefs,” Zoro recalls. “They used to duke it out with any customers that got out of hand, and Red Leg would as soon as kick your ass as look at you.”

“But he’d feed you first,” Usopp reminds him. “That’s what he told us. No one goes hungry on his watch.”

“The food was so good,” Luffy says dreamily, a spot of drool appearing at the corner of his mouth. “But,” he adds, his eyes narrowing and his expression darkening. “The old guy was sad.”

“Red Leg had a son,” Nami clarifies. “Not by blood, he told us he’d taken the kid in after they were both shipwrecked in a terrible storm, but he considered him his all the same. He raised him until he was nineteen, and then a of couple months before we visited the Baratie , Germa showed up and took him.”

Brooks makes a discordant noise. “Robin’s not the only person here who’s heard of Germa,” he says when all eyes turn to him. “Both the country and its ruling family, the Vinsmokes, had made a name for themselves in my day. What in the world would a place like that, a place in the North Blue no less, want with a boy from the East?”

“Because he wasn’t a boy from the East,” Zoro remembers. “The current Vinsmoke king has a whole pack of kids, and Red Leg’s son was one of them. He’d run off for some reason, his old man didn’t give us much in the line of details, but I don’t think they treated him very well.”

“Okay, this definitely all sounds horrible,” Chopper says, his big eyes the saddest Zoro’s seen them in a while. “But what does it have to do with us?”

“The Baratie is where Zoro fought Mihawk. Red Leg helped us treat him after the battle, and he helped us track down Nami after she’d taken off … for reasons that don’t need explaining at this juncture,” Usopp says, wilting under the force of their navigator’s glare. “He asked us for something in return, though.”

“That being?” Robin wants to know, although judging by the look on her face, Zoro’s willing to bet she already suspects the answer.

“Red Leg’s son is called Sanji,” Nami says. “And he said that if we ever happened to cross paths with Germa, that he’d appreciate it if we tried to help him.”

“That’s not all he said,” Luffy interjects. “When we first stopped at the Baratie , I thought that might be the place where we’d find our cook, but Red Leg told me I was wrong. He said that Sanji was the person we needed, and that we shouldn’t just free him, we should take him with us too.”

“Wait,” Franky says, peering at Luffy over the ridges of his sunglasses. “Is that why you’ve never looked for a cook the whole time I’ve been sailing with you?”

“Yup!” Luffy says, while Nami nods.

“Luffy made up his mind about the whole cook situation a long time ago,” she notes. “Red Leg told him Sanji was the best, so who else is a better fit for the future Pirate King?”

“Right,” Franky says, as if this makes sense. “So, what brought this on all of a sudden?”

In answer, Nami picks up the paper and waves it around. “Germa’s not your typical kingdom. They don’t have a land mass they’re based out of, but are rather entirely naval. More importantly, they’re here. One of the Vinsmokes approached Zoro and I in the bar tonight, and she told us the king wants to meet with Luffy.”

“Did she say why?” Robin asks, leaning forward slightly in her seat.

“No,” Nami admits, “and from what we know about them, I haven’t got the faintest idea as to what they’d be interested in from us.”

“It’s probably not anything good,” Usopp warns ominously, and Nami shrugs.

“That goes without saying,” she agrees. “On the other hand, I don’t think we can pass this opportunity up. We’ll be smart about it, and go in as prepared as we possibly can, but this meeting could give us a real chance to do some reconnaissance and get a feel for what we’re working with here.”

Robin nods her head in sudden understanding. “You want to use the cover of the meeting to parse out Germa’s strengths and weaknesses,” she says. “It’s a good idea.”

“Thanks,” Nami replies. “I figure it’s as good a starting point as any, and we might even get really lucky and catch a glimpse of Sanji. That could be too much to hope for, though. After all, I highly doubt the reason the king wants to see us is so he can just hand him over.”

*****

“Why,” Sanji asks no one in particular as he continues pacing the length of his chambers, “do insanely powerful pirate captains keep agreeing to meet with Judge? Surely they must have better things to do with their time.”

Reiju doesn’t bother looking up from where she’s reclined back in her usual seat. “In Big Mom’s case it made sense. She was familiar with our advanced weapons technology, and wanted a piece of it for herself. As for Strawhat Luffy, however, I’m afraid I don’t know enough about him on a personal level to comment.”

“It was a rhetorical question,” Sanji mutters. “I don’t actually care about the answer.”

“I’m aware,” Reiju says primly. “But seeing as you asked, I nevertheless figured I’d give you one.”

“ Ugh .” Bringing his hands up to scrub them over his face, Sanji massages his temples in a vain attempt to make the tension headache brewing there go away. “I don’t want to do this.”

“I know,” Reiju says quietly, but not so quietly that he misses the note of genuine regret in her voice. “It won’t go well for you if you don’t, though. You or your father.”

“Oh, of that I am very much aware,” Sanji snaps. Not for the first time, he pictures Zeff the way he’d been the last time they’d seen each other - sprawled flat on the deck of the Baratie with Ichiji and Niji looming over him, poised to strike on Judge’s command - and has to fight down a shudder.

“Trust me,” he adds, softer now. “I know exactly what’s at stake if I don’t play along here.”

“Of course you do,” Reiju acknowledges, uncrossing her legs so she can climb gracefully to her feet. “Which is why you’re going to do everything in your power to make a good first impression on these people.”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” he sighs, combing a hand through his hair to smooth away some nonexistent tangles. “Do I look okay?”

Reiju steps in close and adjusts the ruffled collar of the shirt he’s wearing. Throughout his second stint in Germa, he’s been stuffed back into what the people here consider fashionable, and every day he longs to return to his personalized suits. 

“You look like a prince,” his sister says once she’s done with him. “Which is exactly what you are.”

“Like hell is that true,” Sanji grumbles, but he follows her out the door all the same.

The castle is quiet as they make their way to the audience chamber where Judge has decided the initial meeting with Strawhat is to take place. Aside from a pair of servants who are scuttling off about their business, they pass no one except the usual assortment of guards until they reach a stairway with a window that overlooks the main entrance and come across the idiot trio in all their glory.

Ichiji is as impassive as ever, standing at the window with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes hidden behind his tinted shades. Niji and Yonji are clearly amused by something, though. At least if the way they’re snickering to each other is anything to go by.

“Strawhat is here,” Ichiji says, apparently having noticed Sanji and Reiju’s arrival, even if he barely bothers to turn his head to glance at them. “He’s come in person, and brought a pair of his commanders with him.”

“Which ones?” Reiju asks, and Sanji finds himself extra glad that she’s with him. He’s curious too, but the odds are good that his brothers would withhold any information out of spite if he were the one to request it.

“The cat burglar and the swordsman,” Ichiji replies, effectively dragging Sanji out of his stupor with this answer. “We didn’t get much of a chance to observe them, but they’re both distinctive enough that it only took a moment to confirm who was present.”

“Interesting choices,” Reiju remarks thoughtfully. “Nami makes sense if he has any inkling that there might be negotiations stemming from this meeting, but Roronoa being here can’t be anything other than a show of force.”

“That’s one way of looking at it,” Yonji pipes up, still sniggering. “Wait until you see them, Reiju. The cat burglar's gorgeous, but Strawhat’s practically dressed in rags and Roronoa looks like he just woke up. What a pair of idiots.”

“If I were you, I’d keep in mind the fact that those two ‘idiots’ single-handedly beat Kaido and the Wildfire,” Reiju says pointedly. “Judge never dared to challenge the king of beasts, so you might want to watch what you say about the men who not only sought to do it, but also won .”

“Furthermore,” she adds with a subtle lift of her chin, “Red Haired Shanks and Blackbeard both dress like men who should be drunk on a beach somewhere. Are you telling me you’d say as much to either of their faces?”

“No,” Yonji grumbles, looking annoyed at being chastised. The same again can be said for Niji where he’s standing next to him. “I guess not.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Reiju says. “Now, get out of the way, Father is expecting Sanji and I, and we don’t want to be late.”

Niji gives Sanji a nasty look. “If I was the failure,” he says smugly, “I’d want to be as late as possible for this.”

Knowing better than to rise to the bait - the fact that Judge is waiting for him won’t stop a brawl from breaking out, and the resulting bruises are not bound to go over well - Sanji ignores him in favor of stepping around the three once Reiju starts moving again. He trails after his sister all the way up to the audience room, pausing only momentarily to take a deep breath before entering.

“Good. There you two are.” Judge says from where he’s seated in a large chair on one side of the room. Two smaller ones flank it, and he irritably gestures Sanji and Reiju towards them as they approach. “Our guests should be here any moment, so sit down.”

Unhappy about being separated from his only lifeline in this room, but at the same time not stupid enough to show it, Sanji takes his spot as directed, watching out of the corner of his eye as Reiju does the same. As soon as they’re both situated, Judge then nods at a waiting servant.

“Bring them in,” he says tersely.

The servant nods, bowing low in the process, and promptly vanishes out the door. He’s then gone for only a few moments, after which he’s returning with three figures in tow.

Sanji’s first impression of Monkey D. Luffy is that he’s younger than he’d thought. Up close, he suspects they’re similar in age, possibly with Sanji himself having a slight edge. His second impression is that Ichiji had been right, and, Emperor or no, the man hadn’t considered dressing up for the occasion.

They’ve all seen the newspapers, of course, not to mention the wanted posters and the footage from Marineford. Much like in those images, Strawhat’s wearing a pair of ragged cutoff jeans and flip flops that have seen better days. His shirt is unbuttoned like usual, revealing the knotted mess of scar tissue he’d received courtesy of Admiral Akainu, and he hasn’t bothered to remove his trademarked hat from his head. Sanji can practically feel Judge seething inwardly at this perceived slight, and has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking.

Wanting to distract himself, he shifts his gaze away from the Emperor, letting it land first on Cat Burglar Nami. Much like her captain, the newsreels have not done her justice, but in her case it’s because she’s even more beautiful in person. She looks absolutely stunning in a form fitting dress that’s dark red in color, and he can only imagine the kind of damage she could do with the heels she’s wearing if she were so inclined.

Afraid he’ll get caught staring, Sanji then switches his attention to the last of the pirates to enter. Clearly here in some kind of bodyguard capacity, Roronoa Zoro looms behind his fellow crew mates with one of his hands curved over the hilts of the swords riding on his hip and his good eye roaming around the room, most likely assessing the threat level.

Sanji feels his skin prickle as the man’s attention briefly lands on him, and he tries not to instinctively press back when he feels a trace of observation haki shift against him. Judging by the way Roronoa’s eye widens subtly, he doesn’t think he succeeds, but the other man doesn’t say anything.

“Strawhat,” Judge says, effectively breaking the silence with the false cheer in his voice. “I’m so pleased that you’ve accepted my invitation. Please, why don’t you and your people have a seat, and I’ll have some refreshments brought in?”

“I could eat,” Strawhat says, perking up noticeably. “What’ve you got?”

Momentarily taken aback by the man’s cavalier tone, Judge rallies impressively as he moves. “I have anything my kitchen can offer,” he says, offering out his hand for Strawhat to shake. “Allow me to introduce myself. Vinsmoke Judge, current ruler of Germa, and these are two of my children, Reiju and Sanji.”

As one, all three pirates flick their attention towards Sanji at the sound of his name. Unsure if this means they’re already aware of why they’re here, he does his best to maintain a pleasant facade as he stands as well.

“Pleased to meet you,” he says, nodding at each of the three in turn. He’d have offered his own hand to shake, but Strawhat’s so far ignored Judge’s, so it doesn’t seem as if he’s overly interested. 

“Welcome to Germa.”

*****

The six of them make stilted small talk until the promised refreshments arrive, and then they all sit down to enjoy the food. Three chairs identical to the ones that had already been present are brought into the room for the pirates to use, with Strawhat taking the larger one in the center only after some prodding from Nami.

“Ah, delicious.” Judge says, smacking his lips together after he finishes draining the remnants of a cup of tea. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yeah, it’s good,” Strawhat replies, having long since cleared his own plate. “Could’ve used more meat though.”

“I’ll be sure to make our cooks aware for the next time you dine with us.” Judge promises, and it’s a surprise to all three Vinsmokes when Nami immediately uses his words as an opportunity to cut to the chase. 

“That’s implying there’s going to be a next time,” she says smoothly, sitting with her own cup of tea and saucer balanced demurely in her lap. “We know you want something from us, from Luffy, so why don’t you tell us what it is so we can get on with things?”

Much to Sanji’s disgust, Judge winks at her. “You’re a woman after my own heart, young lady,” he says in the most condescending manner imaginable. “And, as it happens, you’re also right. I have a proposition for your captain, one I suspect could prove advantageous to both our … organizations.”

“And that is?” Nami asks, while Strawhat mainly looks bored and Roronoa annoyed.

Sitting back in his seat, Judge splays his hands over the arms of his chair, no doubt under the mistaken impression that his posture makes him seem intimidating. He then waits a moment until he’s sure he has everyone’s attention, after which he starts to speak.

“You may or may not be aware, but Germa had been on the verge of entering into an alliance with the Big Mom Pirates on the eve of the battle in Wano. It was not a relationship borne of there being any great love between us, but rather stemmed from the fact that we knew we could come together in a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“That sounds … interesting,” Nami says, visibly careful as she chooses her words. “Now, I’m hoping your next move isn’t to tell us that you’re out for revenge for inadvertently destroying your alliance. Technically, we weren’t even targeting Big Mom in Wano. She just got in our way when she teamed up with Kaido.”

“We’d have taken her down eventually, though.” Strawhat adds with a grin that is, at least in Sanji’s opinion, more than a little manic. “Just because she was an Emperor.”

Nami’s expression goes slightly pinched, giving the impression that she’d like to throttle her captain if the opportunity presented itself. “ Regardless ,” she says firmly, “we didn’t set out to sabotage your plans, so I’ll have to ask you not to hold it against us.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Judge assures her, far, far too jovially. “As I indicated, the alliance was mainly one of convenience. Big Mom was interested in our advanced technology, and I was seeking a powerful benefactor in the form of an Emperor to assist me with some … projects in the North Blue.”

“Projects,” Roronoa echoes, joining the conversation for the first time since the Strawhats’ arrival. “Can we maybe knock off the coy bullshit for now? We did look into you, you know. Germa used to be top dog in the North, and now you don’t even have any physical land to your name. The navy is the country. You’re not out on some kind of mission of mercy, or whatever, you want to take back what you lost.”

His piece said, the swordsman settles back in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest and the eyebrow above his good eye crooked in a pointed arch. It’s clear he’s calling Judge’s bluff, and that he doesn’t give a damn if the king takes offense or not.

Watching the other man as they all wait for Judge to respond, Sanji’s hit with a sudden wave of jealousy that nearly sweeps him from his chair. He’d give just about anything to be able to speak so baldly - not to mention rudely - to Judge’s face, but since Zeff’s life would be on the line, he can’t .

Roronoa obviously has no such compunctions, however. He continues to stare Judge down, giving no sign that he feels he’s overstepped, and in fact looking like he’s getting increasingly bored the longer he has to wait for a response.

Finally, the spell is broken by the sound of Judge clearing his throat. “You’re right,” he says with just enough edge to show that it’s a grudging acknowledgement. “I intend to return Germa to her former glory, an act that would be considerably easier if I had the backing of one of the Four Emperors.”

Strawhat opens his mouth to speak, but Nami gets there first. “What’s in it for us?” She asks shrewdly, one hand resting covertly on her captain’s arm to stave him off. “You mentioned your technology, but we’re not agreeing to anything without at least some sort of demonstration. Preferably more than one.”

“I’d expect nothing less,” Judge replies, his tone smoothing out now that he senses a chance of getting what he wants. “The full extent of our laboratories will be open to you for observation purposes while we enter into negotiations, and of course we’re prepared to offer you a more traditional form of binding our two houses as well.”

“Meaning?” Nami asks, her eyes narrowing.

“A marriage to formalize the union,” Judge confirms. “Not one involving either Strawhat or myself, of course, leaders should remain independent in such situations. Having said that, we had offered Sanji as part of the last alliance, and he’s still available with it having fallen through. Perhaps one of your commanders might be interested.”

It takes every ounce of willpower Sanji has to keep his shoulders from hunching up around his ears as all three pirates turn to stare at him. He feels their gazes travel up and down the length of his body, and wants desperately to curse them out - even the beautiful Nami - for ogling him like a piece of meat. 

“You’re suggesting … ” Nami says weakly. “An actual marriage.”

“I am,” Judge confirms with a nod. “Sanji’s young, he’s of noble blood, and I’m sure you could find some use for him if you were so inclined. At the same time, as the second youngest prince, he’s nowhere near high enough up in Germa’s succession to be a risk in that capacity. He’s the best option I have.”

“ … right,” Nami says, still clearly taken aback. “I think,” she adds while maintaining a hold of an increasingly restless looking Strawhat, “that we’re going to need some time to consider this - including whether or not any of our commanders would be willing to agree to it.”

“Surely the commanders will follow whatever order the Emperor gives,” Judge says with a grin that falls flat. 

“You heard what Nami said,” Strawhat reiterates, sounding annoyed as he tugs his arm free and adjusts his hat on his head. “We’ll go back to the Sunny and talk about everything, and you can wait to hear.”

“Very well,” Judge agrees stiltedly. “May I ask how long you expect it’ll be before we have your answer?”

“Soon,” Strawhat says, giving Sanji a searching look as he stands. “It’ll be soon.”

*****

It turns out Strawhat hadn’t been kidding in his choice of words. Sanji retires to his rooms for the night not long after the pirates depart, but is summoned back to the audience chamber first thing the next morning.

“I haven’t even eaten yet,” he complains as a guard closes the door behind him. “You couldn’t have waited at least that long?”

The grin Judge gives him in response tells him everything he needs to know. Seated at his desk today, instead of the chairs near the fireplace, the king holds up a piece of paper which upon closer inspection had likely been delivered by a carrier bird.

Sanji feels a lump appear in his throat. “They said yes.”

“They said yes,” Judge confirms with a nod. Then his grin widens, taking on a nasty edge that makes Sanji sick to his stomach and immediately wipes away his appetite. “Don’t you want to know who they’ve offered in return?”

“Probably nobody important,” Sanji says with a stilted shrug. “After Dressrosa, Strawhat’s got an entire fleet of crews he can call on, so I’m assuming he’ll pull from one of them.”

“Try again,” Judge suggests. “I requested one of his commanders, and it’s a commander I’ve now got.”

“Only two of the commanders are women,” Sanji starts, his nervousness growing.

“And Roronoa Zoro is well known for his proclivities where men are concerned,” Judge counters, his expression turning even more gleeful when Sanji blanches. “I haven’t the faintest idea how, but it looks like you may have caught his eye yesterday.”

“You can’t be serious ,” Sanji says, momentarily forgetting himself. “Absolutely not. I’ll let that brute touch me over my own dead body.”

“It won’t be your dead body, it’ll be that of that old chef you’re so fond of,” Judge snarls, all traces of levity immediately vanishing from his voice. “It’s Roronoa they’re offering, so it’s Roronoa you’ll take. This is not a matter open for debate.”

“But - !” Sanji nevertheless tries.

“Enough!” Judge barks in response, nearly crumpling the missive from the Strawhats when he slams a heavy fist down on his desk. “You’ll do as you're told, or the consequences will be exactly as I promised, especially now.”

“Charlotte Pudding was an acceptable offer simply because she was one of Big Mom’s children,” he continues on as Sanji falls silent. “That connection alone made her worthwhile, but she was still a minor player in her family. Roronoa, however, is Strawhat’s right hand man, his second in command. Not for a moment did I think we’d get someone so high up the ladder. You will therefore go through with this marriage, or I swear on Germa’s throne, I will set course for the East Blue at the first available opportunity.”

“Fine,” Sanji rasps, knowing when he’s beat. “Can I go then?”

“For now,” Judge allows after a moment, “but stay somewhere easily accessible. The agreement for the alliance is still in its early stages. According to their message, the Strawhats want to continue to discuss the parameters, so they’ll be back soon enough. I imagine Roronoa will want a face to face meeting with you during those negotiations.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Sanji mutters sarcastically. “If he’s agreed under these pretenses, I doubt he gives a damn what I’m like as a person.”

Judge’s eyes narrow ominously. “I’m going to suggest you keep that attitude of yours in check. If you do anything to sabotage this alliance, anything at all, the consequences will be dire.”

Unable to listen to any more of this, Sanji turns on his heel and flees.

*****

“Remind me again why I have to be the one to do this?”

Zoro hisses out this question for the umpteenth time as he proceeds along the stone path that will take them to the castle gates. Then, also for the umpteenth time, Nami sighs.

“Because after weighing the pros and cons, you’re the best available option,” she reiterates. “You’re close enough to him in age that it’s not sketchy, you don’t have a partner Germa might find out about to blow the whole thing, and you’re not straight like Usopp.”

“I also have the etiquette skills of something that’s dead,” Zoro mutters through clenched teeth. “And that’s not a self-own, by the way. It’s a direct quote from you . And also possibly Perona.”

Nami smirks. “I really need to grab drinks with that girl someday. I can’t imagine how much dirt she must have on you.”

“Over my dead body,” Zoro growls back.

“Quiet you two,” Jinbe murmurs, effectively stopping Nami’s angry retort in its tracks. “We’re coming up on the gate, and there are bound to be guards within earshot soon.”

Nodding to show he recognizes the fishman’s point, Zoro falls silent as the three of them continue on their way. The stone archway is looming in the distance like Jinbe had indicated, and he can see movement both on top of it and down below.

Today marks the first day of negotiations between the Strawhats and Germa. After much discussion among their crew, it’d been decided that it would look suspicious if they insisted that the marriage happen right away so they could just take Sanji and run. 

Furthermore, Luffy’s gotten it into his head that he wants to take the kingdom down for hurting the chefs at the Baratie . Since that’s going to require access to the famed laboratories, not to mention assessments of threats and weaknesses, the negotiations are going to be used as a cover to gather the information they need.

Naturally, as the crew member most famed for her ability to drive a hard bargain, Nami’s been tasked with heading up this part of the plan. Meanwhile, Jinbe’s tagging along with her both for protection since he’s one of their most powerful fighters, and also because his status as a former Warlord of the Sea means he’s got the kind of political background Judge will take seriously. 

The navigator and the helmsman are perfectly reasonable choices for this mission, but Zoro can’t help but grumble over his own involvement. Normally he’d never be considered as someone to participate in treaty talks - not unless he was along to provide some added muscle, only - yet, thanks to the role he now has to play, Nami’s cautioned him that he’s likely to be dragged along to most, if not all of them.

Zoro bites back a groan as that thought crosses his mind. At this point, the potential for sitting through days, or possibly weeks , of more meetings is worse than the very real possibility that he’s going to have to marry Sanji to get him out of here. At least that part can be fixed with a quickie divorce.

Still, that’s the hand he’s been dealt, and never let it be said that he’s shirked his duties when his captain asked something of him. Luffy wants this guy for his crew, and they all know what happens once the future king of the pirates sets his sights on someone.

He’s jerked out of his reverie by their arrival at the gate. A pair of guards sporting matching blank expressions approach to greet them, and soon after they’re being ushered through the courtyard with an entire entourage surrounding them.

Zoro tries not to chafe at the feeling of having so many potential threats in the vicinity, wishing for the millionth time that he had someone he felt comfortable watching his back in the way he needs to be at his most effective. Well aware that’s not about to happen anytime soon, though, he grips Wado’s hilt with one hand, and does his best to grin and bear it.

Unfortunately, that ability becomes even more strained as they approach the front entrance and catch sight of a tall, redhead figure that’s waiting for them. It’s the same guy who’d been with Reiju the night she’d approached them, and therefore has to be another one of the Vinsmokes, although Zoro will be damned if he knows which one.

“Ichiji,” Jinbe murmurs as if he’s just read Zoro’s mind. “He’s the oldest of the quadruplets.”

“Good to know someone was paying attention to Robin’s dossier,” Nami murmurs back. 

“He looks like an asshole,” Zoro decides as they draw closer. “I don’t think he’s any happier about meeting us then we are in meeting him.”

“Probably not,” Nami admits, “but I’m betting he’ll play nice since we’ve got something his father wants.”

“Sucker bet,” Zoro replies, and then falls silent so he doesn’t risk having anyone from Germa overhear their conversation. He nods at the redhead as they reach him, unsurprised when he receives only an aborted nod back.

“Roronoa,” Ichiji says crisply. “Cat Burglar. First Son. Welcome back to Germa.”

“I’m afraid it’s still only the first time for me,” Jinbe says jovially, slipping effortlessly into the role of visiting dignitary. “It’s a pleasure to be here, however. From what I’ve seen so far, your country is very beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Ichiji replies, sounding bored. He then gestures at the entrance behind him, and another brother, this one with green hair seems to appear out of thin air. “If you and Nami will follow me, my father is waiting for you to begin the negotiations. He thought Roronoa might want a chance to speak privately with Sanji, however, so Yonji’s prepared to escort him to the private gardens if that’s acceptable.”

Zoro can practically feel Nami weighing the odds as to whether or not he’ll cause an international incident if he’s left unsupervised, and tries not to roll his eye. Just because he’d gotten arrested in Ryugu and Wano while left to his own devices, doesn’t mean it’ll happen every time .

A few seconds pass by, and Nami frowns. “Doesn’t the king think they should be a part of the discussions given how central they are to them?”

Yonji makes a scoffing sound from his spot at the back of the crowd, and Ichiji shoots him a pointed look out of the corner of his eye. “Father thinks it will be helpful to have them determine if they’re compatible, first and foremost,” he says smoothly. “Which he feels will be more likely to happen if they can speak away from prying eyes.”

That sounds oddly rational from Judge’s perspective, and immediately puts Zoro on edge. On the other hand, because it’s so rational, anyone would be hard pressed to come up with a reason to say no.

“Sounds good to me,” he says, figuring someone may as well make a decision here. He flicks his gaze over to Yonji and nods. “Lead the way.”

Yonji makes a face that suggests he doesn’t appreciate being ordered around by a lowly pirate, but doesn’t offer up any formal protests. Instead, he turns towards a smaller gate nearby, indicating that Zoro should follow him with a wave of his hand.

They don’t speak as Zoro allows the prince to lead him down a series of twisted pathways that are lined with plants. He supposes many would consider the gardens to be quite beautiful, but on the whole he doesn’t care very much for them.

Eventually they come upon a clearing that’s dominated by an ornate fountain. Several benches also line the area, and it’s here that Yonji deposits him. 

“Sit or stand,” the prince says curtly. “It doesn’t matter which one you prefer. Sanji should be here soon.”

“Whatever you say,” Zoro tells him, dropping down onto the nearest available bench. Not much caring how the prince takes it since they’re not here to worry about making a good impression, he crosses his hands behind his head and closes his eye. “I’ll wait.”

“ … good enough.” Yonji says after a moment’s pause, and Zoro hears some leaves crunch beneath his boots as he turns to walk away.

Part of him wishes he had time for a proper doze, but he knows he won’t be left alone for that long. Sure enough, only a few minutes pass before he hears the sound of footsteps again, this time containing two sets instead of one.

He cracks his eye back open just in time to see a pair of men emerge from one of the other paths. Sanji’s easily identifiable thanks to his smaller size and bright blond hair, but the family resemblance indicates that the blue haired man with him must be the last remaining brother. 

This one doesn’t bother to introduce himself, or to hide the sneer on his face as he all but shoves his brother forward. He says something low under his breath that makes Sanji glare at him, though the blond is quick to school his expression when he turns to glance at Zoro.

“Roronoa.” He says quietly, and Zoro takes that as his cue to stand.

“Your Highness,” he says just as quietly, Nami and Robin having drilled the proper title into his head the night before. “It’s good to see you again.”

“I’m sure,” Sanji says, and then falls silent as it becomes obvious he has no idea what else to add. 

The current hush is broken by the sound of his brother clearing his throat. “I’m going back to join the others,” he says, clearly indifferent to leaving his brother alone with a total stranger. “Find one of the servants if you need anything.”

“I’m sure we can manage, Niji.” Sanji replies, and somehow he’s able to make the other man’s name sound like a curse in his mouth as he leaves.

Following Niji’s departure, there’s a noticeable release of tension in the air. Sanji’s shoulders sag minutely in relief, the motion so imperceptible that he probably doesn’t even realize he’s done it, and his expression loses a bit of its brittle edge.

“He seems … nice.” Zoro says lamely, completely at a loss for how to proceed here.

Sanji snorts. “He’s an asshole,” he says tersely. “They all are, but I suspect you knew that already given that it’s only a special breed of royal family who’d look to ally themselves with a pirate crew.”

“Uh … sure.” Zoro tries, well aware that plenty of royal families will do exactly that if the situation calls for it, but equally unable to say so because they consist of people he likes and doesn’t want to see get in trouble. 

“Right, well. Here we are,” Sanji says next. “Was there anything you wanted to ask me?”

“Not really,” Zoro admits with a shrug. “I came with Nami and Jinbe for the negotiations, but your father wanted me to come here instead.”

“Judge,” Sanji says, so fast it can’t be anything other than an automatic reflex.

“ … okay,” Zoro says, watching as the other man’s face flushes. “Whatever you want to call him, I guess. He said I should come here, so here I am.”

“Here you are,” Sanji agrees, his gaze flicking over Zoro from top to bottom. “Every ragtag bit of you. For the record, the last time Judge presented me to someone for one of these alliances, she at least had the common decency to show up in clothes without any holes in them.”

Feeling a spike of annoyance stirring in his gut, Zoro glances down at himself and then shrugs. “Trust me,” he says, showing just enough teeth to make a point. “I’ve looked worse.”

“On the battlefield, no doubt,” Sanji concedes, looking grumpy. “But would it have killed you to put a little effort in today?”

In response, Zoro pulls his lips back a bit further and spreads his arms wide. “What you see is what you get, Blondie. I don’t go in for any of that frou frou shit you rich types are so fond of.”

Sanji’s eyes narrow at Zoro’s choice of nickname, and Zoro’s confident it’s taking everything he has to rein in a sudden spike of temper. “If that’s the case, why in the world did you agree to marry me?”

Now it’s Zoro’s turn to snort. “Mainly because the witch told me I had to,” he says, figuring there’s no harm in admitting as much. “I mean Nami,” he adds, when Sanji looks confused. “She’s always on the lookout for a deal she can make work in her favor.”

“That’s a terrible way to talk about a lady,” Sanji says, his countenance shifting to appalled. “It’s also a terrible reason to agree to a marriage proposal. Are you seriously telling me that’s the only reason you’re taking part in this?”

Zoro scratches absently at the side of his face. “Well,” he says slowly, “I guess it helps that you’re pretty easy on the eyes.”

This is, unequivocally, a mistake. One moment those words are leaving his mouth, and the next Sanji’s whirling like a dervish, bringing one dangerously long leg up, and catching Zoro in the midsection with his heel before he can blink.

Narrowly missing the fountain, he lands in a crumpled heap in some nearby bushes, one hand coming up to press against his chest as he struggles to breathe. Distantly, he hears a faint clicking sound, and when Sanji reappears in his line of sight, he’s holding a lighter carved in the shape of a mermaid.

“Let me make this clear,” he says, pressing the tiny flame to the tip of the cigarette he now has clamped between his teeth. “I’m going to go along with this farce of a marriage, alright? I am. I’m even willing to be as much of a wonderful, doting husband as I can be. Having said that, you’re going to learn to watch your mouth around me, or we’re going to have a problem. You got that?”

“Got it,” Zoro rasps, still slightly dazed. He stares up at Sanji where he’s now backlit by the late morning sun, and thinks muzzily about how the light surrounding him looks not unlike a halo. “Fuck.”

“Not anytime soon,” Sanji mutters, exhaling a moody cloud of smoke.

*****

It doesn’t hit him until later, until after the Strawhats have returned to their ship for the day with Roronoa in tow, that he might have miscalculated. Once it does, however, he promptly chainsmokes an entire pack of cigarettes, and is tugging furiously at his hair when Reiju comes to find him in his room.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, the corners of her mouth turning down in a slight frown. “You look … stressed.”

“I can’t imagine why that would be,” Sanji wheezes, forcing his hands away from his hair. “How’d the negotiations go?”

“It’s still early stages,” she replies, “but I think they showed promise. I also think there were some initial concessions made by Father that you’re going to approve of.”

“Such as?”

Striding over to her favorite chair, Reiju drops down into it and pins him with a look. “I’ll answer that as soon as you answer my question about why you look like you’re going to be sick. What’s wrong?” She repeats, her eyes narrowing. “Did Roronoa do something?”

“Not exactly,” Sanji says weakly. “I mean, it took him roughly five seconds to confirm that he’s exactly as much of a brute as I suspected, but in hindsight that’s not really a surprise.”

“You’re stalling, Sanji,” Reiju informs him. “If Roronoa didn’t do something, then who did? Niji? I know he escorted you to the meeting earlier.”

“He did, and he was as unpleasant as ever,” Sanji agrees. “Albeit no more so than usual. No, I’m afraid this one’s all on me.”

“Meaning?”

Sanji sighs, wishing he wasn’t currently out of cigarettes as he turns to face her. “Roronoa was being … uncouth,” he says delicately. “When we were talking earlier.”

His sister gives him a flat stare. “He’s a pirate,” she says dryly. “‘Uncouth’ is typically a pretty fair descriptor for someone in that line of work.”

“Pudding wasn’t,” Sanji protests. “She was absolutely lovely the first time we met.”

“Mmm, right up until she revealed the fact that she’s a phenomenal actress, shot me, and threatened to kill the rest of us,” Reiju says, not pulling her punches in the slightest. “The woman is a complete psychopath who had every intention of seeing you dead.”

“I think ‘psychopath’ is a bit harsh,” Sanji says.

“And I think there’s a reason you’re not commenting on the ‘seeing you dead’ part,” Reiju retorts. “I also think you’re trying to change the subject. What happened?”

“Roronoa ran his mouth,” he admits, figuring he’s out of options when it comes to avoiding her. “So, I sort of … kicked him?”

“Why are you making that sound like a question?” She asks. “You either kicked him or you didn’t.”

“Wellll,” Sanji says raggedly. “He landed on the other side of the garden, so I guess it was the former.”

“ Sanji ,” Reiju hisses, showing far more emotion than she usually does. “What were you thinking ?”

“I suspect the argument could be made that I wasn’t,” he says sheepishly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Thinking, that is. Do you figure the Strawhats are going to be mad?”

“If they are, I suspect we’ll know before the night is out,” Reiju replies, crossing her arms over her chest. “Once they’ve all reconvened on their ship, I’m sure Roronoa will update them on what’s happened, and the captain will no doubt respond accordingly.”

“You’d better hope they don’t decide to cancel the deal,” she says icily. “It’s only sheer dumb luck that’s kept Father from putting you back in that cell since you’ve been with us again, and if you cost him an alliance with a second Emperor, I doubt he’ll continue to be so magnanimous.”

“I didn’t mean to do it,” Sanji protests. “It just happened!”

“Yes, well.” Sniffing disdainfully, Reiju motions for him to take the chair across from hers. “At least Roronoa didn’t come running back to the audience chamber, demanding to leave. That may mean we can still salvage this mess by way of some more concessions.”

“You mentioned concessions earlier,” he notes, dropping down into the chair as indicated. “What did you mean by that?”

“Do you remember how at the outset of the alliance proposal with Big Mom, Father was insistent that you and Pudding would remain here in Germa after you were married?” She asks, waiting until after he’s nodded to continue. “He tried to do that here too, and the Strawhats immediately shot him down.”

“It was honestly quite impressive,” she says, smiling slightly as she leans back in her seat. “The Cat Burglar may be young, but she knows what she’s doing when it comes to cutting a deal. She had no issue with heading Father off at the pass, and informed him in no uncertain terms that you would be staying with them, not the other way around.”

“And Judge accepted that?” Sanji asks skeptically. “He’s not exactly fond of being told what to do.”

“That’s true,” Reiju acknowledges. “But he wants this alliance, and Nami’s points were sound. Big Mom was likely willing to give Pudding up - or at least pretend to do so, as was more likely the case - because she was one of the younger children, and low down in the command chain.”

“But Roronoa is Strawhat’s right hand man,” Sanji says, catching on. “Of course he’s not willing to leave his first mate in Germa indefinitely.”

“Exactly,” Reiju says. “I also got the sense that Roronoa may have his own reasons for refusing to agree to do so, but it was the logic behind the first part that got Father to capitulate. I expect the negotiations are going to take even longer now as they hash out where and how you two will be spending your time, but it looks like the bulk of it will be on the Thousand Sunny .”

“Provided you haven’t done irreparable damage to the entire endeavor, of course.” She adds, apparently feeling the need to twist the knife.

“Again, I didn’t mean to,” Sanji says sulkily. “He’s just so … crass .”

“Much like uncouth, I imagine crass is a term that can be applied to most pirates,” Reiju says. “So you’re better off finding a way to live with that. Otherwise - ”

“You don’t have to remind me of what’s at stake, Reiju.” Sanji cuts her off, not wanting to hear it for the hundredth time. “I’ll behave myself from here on out, I promise. Hell, I’ll even apologize if the opportunity presents itself.”

“I’m going to suggest you make the opportunity present itself,” Reiju says. “If the Strawhats are serious about you living with them and not in Germa, then this is no longer simply a case of ensuring the best deal available gets done for you. Once you’re out from under Father’s thumb, escape might become possible.”

“And have word get back to Judge that I took off?” Sanji snorts. “Absolutely not. I may as well point a gun at Zeff’s head and pull the trigger myself if I do that. No, it’ll have the silver lining of getting me away from Judge and the idiot trio, but so far that’s the only difference I see.”

“Still,” he muses. “I suppose that’s better than nothing.”

*****

“Why are you favoring your left side?”

Caught out at the sound of Chopper’s voice, Zoro groans. He’d made it all the way back to the Sunny without Nami or Jinbe picking up on the injury to his ribs, but trust the little doctor to sniff it out as soon as he lays eyes on them.

“It’s nothing,” he says, flapping a hand to try and wave the concerns away. “I’m fine.”

Chopper snorts. “You don’t favor anything unless something serious has happened. Let me see it.”

“ Zoro .” Luffy says firmly, and Zoro bites back another groan as he recognizes the man’s ‘captain’ voice. “Did the guys from Germa do something?”

“Not exactly,” Zoro admits, straightening and moving to slide the upper half of his overcoat off so that Chopper can get a better look. “I may have accidentally … pissed Sanji off a little.”

“ Accidentally ?” Nami echoes.

“ A little ?” Chopper exclaims at the same time. “You’ve got a bruise the size of a fist under your ribs! What did he do to you?”

“I shot my mouth off and he kicked me,” Zoro replies, his voice sounding unusually breathy even to his own ears. “His old man must’ve taught him to fight back at the Baratie because it was like getting hit by a goddamned battering ram. Pretty sure I landed halfway across the courtyard.”

“Why do you sound happy about that?” Usopp wonders.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to,” Nami mutters. Planting her hands on her hips, she gazes up at Zoro with an impressive stink eye. “What did you say to him that made him so mad?”

“Uhh?”

“Never mind, I don’t actually care.” Breathing heavily through her nose, Nami makes the face she does when she’s about two seconds away from trying to drive her fist into his brain stem. “I can’t believe I have spell this out for you, idiot, but you can’t go making a terrible impression on Sanji.”

“Remember Zoro,” Robin adds. “The plan is not only to rescue Sanji from Germa, but to hopefully convince him to stay on as our ship’s cook as well. For that, we need him to like us.”

“I didn’t say anything I normally wouldn’t have,” Zoro insists. “Are you saying you want me to lie to him? To pretend to be something I’m not and lure him out under false pretenses?”

Nami’s expression curdles. “I hate it when you use logic during arguments. You have a real knack for choosing the absolute worst times to do it.”

“Never mind all that,” Chopper says. “Zoro, you need to come to the infirmary so I can wrap your ribs.”

“Can’t.” Zoro replies, holding up a hand to forestall the reindeer’s inevitable protests. “If the Vinsmokes catch sight of any bandages or have reason to believe I’m hurt, they might start asking questions. He’ll get in trouble if Judge finds out what happened.”

“Besides,” he adds, straightening to his full height even though the motion makes his ribs scream in protest. “It’s just a bruise. I can barely even feel anything.”

“Oh, bro, you are lying through your teeth,” Franky chuckles. “He got you good . I can’t wait to meet this guy.”

“Funny you should mention that,” Nami tells him. “If we’re going to make Judge think we’re taking these negotiations seriously, then we have to pretend to actually negotiate. We can’t just say we’ll accept their weapons technology in return and run. Plus, we need to get a feel for Germa’s defenses if we’re going to take them down.”

“To that end, part of the negotiations are going to involve at least some of us visiting Judge’s laboratories and being given demonstrations on what his people have to offer. As our resident weapon’s specialist, and the closest thing we have to an engineer, that’s going to fall on you, Franky.”

“Not a problem, little sis.” The cyborg says, giving her a bright grin and a double thumbs up. “You can count on me. I’ll get all the info you could hope for.”

“Please, like I’d trust you for even a moment to handle this kind of stealth mission on your own,” Nami says, ignoring the way Franky droops until even his hair wilts. “Robin’s going with you to keep an eye on things, and I think we’ll send Usopp too. His knack with weapons is almost as good as yours, so his presence will also make sense.”

“Or be considered redundant,” Usopp says quickly. “I’m sure there’s no reason to send both me and Franky into the heart of enemy territory like that. He’ll be fine on his own.”

“Can it, longnose,” Nami tells him. “I said what I said. You three will get to know the labs, while Jinbe and I continue acting as our crew’s representatives at the negotiating table. Luffy, we’ll have you on standby in case Judge wants to deal with you directly at any point, which leaves Chopper and Brook to watch the Sunny .”

“What about me?” Zoro asks, doing his best not to flinch when she glares at him. “What am I supposed to do?”

“What do you think?” She retorts, exasperated. “Your job is still the same. You’ve got to spend time getting to know Sanji so that we can make the whole marriage bit seem convincing. If you could work it so that he doesn’t also want to kill you, though, that’d be great.”

“No promises,” Zoro mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. “Pretty sure he’s got a bitch of a temper hiding under all those stuffy outfits.”

Usopp snorts. “Like father, like son then,” he says when all eyes turn to look at him. “From what I remember of Red Leg, he wasn’t a guy I’d like to meet alone in a dark alley if he was ticked about something.”

“He was good, though,” Luffy chimes in. “He fed people who needed it, and he loves his son, so we’re going to help them. Does everybody understand that?” He asks, giving Zoro a pointed look from under the brim of his hat. “Everybody?”

Sighing, Zoro holds up his hands in surrender. “You don’t have to tell me twice, Captain,” he says tiredly. “I’ll fix things with Sanji. I promise.”

“Good,” Luffy says brightly. “Then that should take care of everything.”

*****

Apparently the gardens have been determined to be the best place for he and Roronoa to meet because Sanji finds himself back there two days later for a repeat of their previous performance. The only differences so far are that this time it’s Reiju who’s escorted him, and they’ve arrived first.

“Let me guess,” Sanji murmurs as they stand near the edge of the fountain. “You decided to tag along to make sure I actually apologize, didn’t you?”

“Not quite,” she murmurs back. “There’s a chance he may bring up the incident when he gets here, and it’ll go much better for you if I’m the one who’s here to do damage control. The last thing we need is any of the other boys catching wind of it.”

“That’s a nice sentiment,” Sanji grumbles, “but didn’t you say Judge had Yonji escort him out here last time? That gives him plenty of time unsupervised with whoever brings him over today to irrevocably fuck me over.”

“Well then we’re just going to have to hope he doesn’t do so, aren’t we?” His sister replies icily. “And at the same time you’re going to practice very hard at keeping a lid on your temper.”

For a brief moment Sanji hears Zeff’s voice in his ears, rife with exasperation as the old man tells him for the thousandth time that he can’t fight with the customers, no matter how annoying they’re being. He shakes his head to banish the memory back to where it’d come from, and fixes a smile on his face that he hopes doesn’t look as forced as it feels.

Based on the look Reiju gives him, he doesn’t succeed, but the sound of footsteps signals the arrival of a pair of newcomers, so she keeps whatever it is she’s thinking to herself.

Just like last time, it’s Yonji who Roronoa is trailing after. The two of them make an interesting sight with hair two different shades of green, although Sanji thinks he might secretly prefer Roronoa’s to that of his brother’s.

If Roronoa’s surprised to find a different Vinsmoke royal with Sanji today, he doesn’t show it. Rather, he inclines his head slightly towards Reiju, the motion hardly a respectful bow, but not entirely lacking in propriety either. 

“Princess,” he rumbles in the same gravelly voice as before. “Nice to see you again.”

“And you, Commander.” Reiju replies, drawing an hilarious expression from Roronoa at her use of the title.

“ … right.” The pirate replies after a few moments of considering potential responses. He then glances around the gardens, as if seeking something to comment on.

“Flower beds look nice,” he says finally, nodding at the specific bed Sanji had sent him sprawling in the other day. “Almost as if they’re brand new.”

“We take pride in keeping the grounds well maintained,” Reiju replies with a placid smile. “Perhaps Sanji could give you a tour while Yonji and I return to the audience chamber.”

“Sure,” Roronoa replies with a shrug. “Sounds like fun.”

Reiju gives Sanji a pointed look as she turns to lead Yonji away, an obvious indication that he should both behave himself and try to do the aforementioned damage control on his own. Then she’s gone, at least leaving their youngest brother none the wiser as she takes him with her.

“And then there were two,” Roronoa murmurs after they’ve gone. “Mornin’, Curls. How’ve you been?”

Every muscle in Sanji’s body tenses, and he feels a sense of heat stirring in his legs as he’s hit with a nearly insurmountable urge to reintroduce his foot to Roronoa’s face. “You’re like this on purpose, aren’t you?” He asks in lieu of a greeting. “It has to be deliberate.”

“Guilty as charged,” the other man replies with a sharp grin. “But hey, I cleaned up more this time than last time. Consider that to be me making an effort.”

“Hmm?” Unsure of his meaning at first, Sanji takes a surreptitious glance at the man, realizing in hindsight that he is, indeed, dressed better than he’d been during their last encounter. His ratty green overcoat has been replaced by a much nicer black one, and his pants don’t appear to be quite so ragged this time. Of course, his infamous haramaki is still in place, but Sanji supposes he can’t have everything.

“I’m impressed,” he says once he’s completed his examination. “And possibly flattered. If this is what kicking you in the head gets me, then we might both survive this marriage yet.”

Roronoa snorts. “Don’t go getting ahead of yourself, Your Highness. Based on the flash of temper I saw the other day, I’m betting I’ll find plenty of ways to make you want to cave my skull in.”

“Listen, about that,” Sanji says, any previous amusement vanishing as he remembers exactly what’s at stake here if he pisses this man off too much. “I … owe you an apology. I was out of line, and I certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the … relationship between our families.”

“Damn,” Roronoa’s quiet for a moment, but eventually lets out a low whistle. “Do I even want to know how much of that was an utter crock of shit?” He asks conversationally. “Never mind,” he adds when Sanji blanches. “There’s no apology necessary, and, before you ask, no, I’m not going to bring it up with the king.”

“Why not?” Sanji asks, confused. “You do realize you could probably use it to get better terms from him for this agreement, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” Roronoa replies, “but I’d also have to listen to the witch chew me out for risking fucking things up for her and she’d probably up my debt again. S’not worth the headache.”

“You’re very strange,” Sanji remarks. “And I actually don’t mean that as an insult.”

Roronoa grins at him, but there’s less of an edge to it than before. “Give it time,” he says. “Now, about that tour your sister mentioned. I’m pretty sure there’s one in the labs being set up for some of our crew later in the week, and I honestly couldn’t care less about that. If you’re going to show me around, can it at least be parts of the place I’m interested in seeing?”

Sanji shrugs. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, for starters,” the other man replies. “I could do with something to eat other than all those little finger foods Judge keeps offering us. Do you people not believe in having full meals around here?”

“It’s called a working lunch,” Sanji replies. “Look it up.”

“I’d rather have an actual lunch,” Roronoa informs him. “So, what do you say? Is that an option or not?”

*****

Technically Sanji’s not supposed to be anywhere near the palace kitchen, but it’s an open secret that he spends a lot of his time here. So long as he avoids the place during working hours and cooks only for himself, Judge has been willing to look the other way since his return to Germa, no doubt figuring the ensuing argument wouldn’t be worth the hassle.

Escorting Roronoa down there under the guise of giving him a tour of the place is probably cheating, but Sanji’s nothing if not an opportunist. He leads the way with the swordsman trailing after him, making a point of rhyming off various details about the rooms and hallways they pass in case anyone happens to be looking.

For his part, Roronoa seems largely uninterested in the details Sanji’s providing, although he does peek up a bit when he notes the route that leads out to the main training grounds. He doesn’t say anything, however, so Sanji keeps them moving until the kitchen doors come into view. 

A pair of guards are flanking the entrance today, a fact that isn’t normally the case. Wondering if Judge has more of them on duty as a show of force while the Strawhats are here, Sanji nods at them as they approach.

“The commander’s hungry,” he says when one of the two guards shifts to bar their way. “We’re here to grab some lunch.”

Behind him he hears Roronoa make an annoyed noise, but Sanji doesn’t turn to look at him. Instead, he keeps his attention focused on the guards, watching matching expressions of indecision cross their very similar looking faces.

“Why don’t you make yourselves comfortable in one of the dining rooms, Your Highness?” The closer guard finally suggests. “We’ll alert the head chef that you’re here, and I’m sure she’ll have something prepared at the earliest opportunity.”

“That’ll take too long,” Roronoa complains. “I can smell food through those doors, and it’s not like we’re going to get in the way. I’m sure we can just tuck ourselves away in a corner somewhere.”

“It wouldn’t be proper,” the first guard starts, and Sanji shifts until he’s more in the center of the man’s line of sight.

“What’s not proper is the fact that you’re arguing with not only a member of the royal family, but also a high ranking guest,” he says irritably. “The king directed me to make sure our visitors have everything they ask for, and right now you’re impeding that. Exactly how pleased do you think he’s going to be if he finds out about it?”

Sanji’s bluffing, of course. The day he rats a single soul in Germa out to Judge is the day the king successfully brainwashes him into being an emotionless robot like the rest of his brothers. The guards don’t know this, though, and based on the glance they’re now sharing, they have no interest in testing him.

“Our apologies, Your Highness.” The second guard says, motioning for his companion to step back and get out of Sanji’s way. “Enjoy your meal.”

“Thanks,” Sanji grumbles, indicating that Roronoa should follow him with a quick flick of his hand. “Come along, Commander. Let’s go find you something to eat.”

Roronoa waits until they’re passed the guards and the doors are safely closed behind them to lean into Sanji’s personal space. “Would you stop calling me that,” he hisses, low enough that the noise from the bustling kitchen almost drowns out the words. “We don’t go in for titles like that in our crew.”

“We do in Germa,” Sanji counters - never mind the fact that he finds the whole thing ridiculous. “And the king would not be happy if he felt I was insulting you by being too informal.”

“Yeah, well, for all I care the king can - ”

“Prince Sanji!” Arriving just in time to keep Roronoa from muttering something that sounds potentially treasonous, the head chef flutters her hands nervously in front of her. “This is a very unexpected surprise. To what do my staff and I owe the honor of having you in our kitchen?”

“Hello, Cosette,” Sanji says, smiling softly in the hope of putting her at ease. “I’m sorry for barging in on you when I’m sure you’re busy, but I’m giving our guest here a tour of the palace and we’ve taken a small detour to grab a bite to eat.”

Cosette twitches nervously. “Your Highness, I’d be happy to take an order for you and have something brought to you once it’s ready. The kitchens are so loud and - and messy. Perhaps if we’d known you were coming … ”

“We’re not here to judge the state of the room, Cosette,” Sanji reminds her. “We’re just in want of a snack. Besides, what kind of tour would this be if I didn’t give him an opportunity to see one of the most important places in the palace?”

“Your Highness is too kind,” Cosette murmurs. “But still - ”

“I smell onigiri,” Roronoa says abruptly, effectively cutting off the poor woman’s agitated stuttering. “Does it already belong to someone, or can anyone have some?”

“Oni - oh yes.” Clearly not having expected the pirate to speak to her directly, Cosette flushes. “One of my new trainees finished a plate a little while ago. He’s still learning, though, and I’m afraid they’re not fit to serve.”

Roronoa sniffs again, his nostrils flaring. “They smell fine to me wherever they are,” he says. “What’s wrong with them?”

“Oh, I mean, the recipe itself turned out fine,” Cosette stutters. “We have very talented people here, who would never dream of producing anything that wasn’t palatable. It’s just the presentation that needs a little work. They’re misshapen, you see.”

“But the trainee is a fast learner,” she adds in a rush, most likely fearing some kind of punishment for either herself or the young man in question. “His next batch will be perfect, I’m sure.”

“If the food itself is fine then I don’t see what the problem is,” Roronoa replies. “You’re saying what? That they’re a little lumpy, I’m guessing? That happens all the time. It doesn’t mean you can’t still eat them.”

“I - I - it wouldn’t be - wouldn’t be appropriate to serve something to the royal family that wasn’t up to par, Sir.” Cosette replies, sounding aghast. “No one here would dream of doing such a thing.”

“Hmm,” Roronoa says, eyeing her carefully for a moment before seeming to come to a decision. “Well, I’m not a member of the royal family. If they’re just going to go to waste, can I have them?”

This suggestion temporarily robs Cosette of the power of speech altogether, and Sanji winces at her obvious consternation. He understands her concern - Judge doesn’t take kindly to food he deems to be not up to snuff, while he also won’t take kindly to the poor woman disobeying what could be construed as a direct order - yet at the same time he feels something not entirely unpleasant stirring in his gut as he watches the exchange.

A hatred of wasting food has been ingrained in him since his early days with Zeff, and the rate at which the royal family does it is one of the things he hates the most about being back in this hellhole. Judge and his other sons routinely turn up their noses at food that most people would give a limb for, a fact that sets Sanji’s blood boiling.

Even worse, the kitchen staff know better than to give any ignored food to people who won’t be bothered by something as minor as presentation. Doing so would risk punishment for both them and their families, which means the onigiri the young trainee has made is destined for the garbage bin if Roronoa doesn’t get his way.

Hating the thought of that, Sanji clears his throat. “If you wouldn’t mind, Cosette,” he says when she turns her wide-eyed gaze on him. “It seems that onigiri is what the commander feels like.”

“I’m not - ” Roronoa starts, and Sanji decides the pros outweigh the cons in this instance and digs a subtle elbow into his side to shut him up. “Fine. Whatever. Can I have the onigiri, or not?”

“I - If you insist, Sir.” Cosette says, bowing low. “I’ll have someone plate it up for you right away.”

*****

“I really don’t get what all the fuss was about,” Roronoa says when they exit the kitchens a little while later. The pirate has the tray of neatly plated onigiri cradled protectively in one arm, and his cheeks are bulging as he devours the first rice ball. “These are fuckin’ great.”

“I’ll be sure to pass your compliments along to the chef,” Sanji says dryly, watching him eat. “No doubt hearing that you couldn’t stop eating long enough to speak without your mouth full will make his day.”

“Like I keep telling you, Your Highness, don’t expect me to be someone I’m not,” Roronoa replies, saluting him with a second rice ball. “I grew up having to fight to get enough to eat, so I’ll be damned if I let something like this go to waste.”

“ That was not the part I was critiquing,” Sanji tells him seriously. “Eating every last morsel of food is something I heartily approve of.”

Roronoa gives him a shrewd look before returning to his snack. 

“Is onigiri your favorite?” Sanji asks then, figuring the topic is safe enough given their current context. 

“S’up there,” the other man replies with a shrug, which, given that he’s already moved onto the third of the six rice balls, Sanji’s going to take as an understatement. “Nothing beats a plate of properly cooked sea king meat, though.”

“Lucky for you they’re so much more prevalent in the Grand Line then,” Sanji notes. “They’re not common anywhere else, and importing them costs a fortune.”

“Uh, so I’ve heard,” he adds in a rush when Roronoa cocks an eyebrow at him. 

“‘Kay,” Roronoa says. “What about you?”

Sanji blinks. “What about me?”

“Your favorite food,” the other man clarifies, swiping a few stray grains of rice off his plate with a finger and licking them into his mouth. “What is it?”

“Why do you want to know?” Sanji asks.

“Hey, you asked first,” Roronoa reminds him. “But I figure getting to know each other is part of what we’re doing here, and it works both ways. So. What’s your favorite food?”

“Spicy seafood pasta,” Sanji admits after a moment. “Nothing beats it.”

“Sounds good,” Roronoa replies. “We don’t have a dedicated cook on the crew, but I’m sure someone can find a recipe book or something to make it.”

Part of Sanji wants to ask why any of the Strawhats would bother, but that declaration leaves him with a far more pressing question to clarify. “What do you mean , you don’t have a cook on your ship? How is that possible?”

“S’a long story.” Somehow without Sanji realizing it, Roronoa’s polished off a fourth rice ball and is now making his way through a fifth. “We tend to fend for ourselves if we have to, and there’s a roster for splitting up the main meals.”

“And that works alright, does it?” Sanji asks dubiously. “Everyone can make at least the basics to feed the whole crew?”

Roronoa snorts. “Let’s just say the results are mixed and leave it at that. Nothing gets wasted unless it’s going to give people food poisoning, but I don’t think anyone would say no if we found someone to take on the role for good. I certainly wouldn’t.”

“You wouldn’t?” Sanji asks, hoping like hell that his voice sounds as casual as he means for it to. 

“Nope.” Roronoa says, and there goes the last rice ball with a nary a sign that he hasn’t thoroughly enjoyed each one. “I’d give a hell of a lot to get someone in the Sunny ’s galley who knew what they were doing.”

“Good to know,” Sanji says weakly, and then he turns to hustle them both down the nearest hallway.

*****

“How was Sanji today?”

Having heard the familiar slap of Luffy’s flip flops against the deck, Zoro’s not surprised when the captain sprawls out next to him. Cracking his good eye open from where he’s been trying to nap, he gives the younger man a nod and then shrugs. 

“He seemed fine,” he tries, not sure what else he can say. “He didn’t kick me into any bushes this time, so that’s probably a good sign.”

“ Shishishi , yeah, probably,” Luffy agrees. “Did anyone say anything about that?”

“None of the Vinsmokes,” Zoro says. “And I sure as shit wasn’t going to bring it up with them if they didn’t already know. Sanji apologized, but I think that was more to keep himself out of trouble than because he really meant it.”

Luffy laughs again. “He sounds great,” he says. “I can’t wait to meet him for real.”

Zoro’s about to point out that the two had met during the crew’s first audience with Judge, but then he stops, realizing that’s likely exactly what Luffy’s getting at. “Yeah,” he says instead. “I think you’ll like him.”

“His dad told me I would,” Luffy notes. “When it was just the two of us talking, he said he was sorry I didn’t find the cook I was looking for on his ship, but that he was positive Sanji was the person I wanted.”

“He and I talked a bit about food today,” Zoro tells him, “I kinda - weaseled my way into the kitchen because I wanted to see how he’d react.”

“That was smart,” Luffy agrees. “What’d you learn?”

Zoro huffs out a laugh. “Well, first of all, he’s his old man’s kid when it comes to wasting food. He definitely hates when people do it, especially if whatever it is would be perfectly fine to eat. On the flip side, you should’ve seen the look on his face when I offered to eat something the kitchen was going to throw out.”

“Was he happy?”

“Mhm,” Zoro replies, remembering the approving way Sanji had looked at him when he’d insisted on taking the slightly lumpy onigiri. “Even more so when I mentioned that we need a cook, though. I don’t think Judge has been letting him do it since he took him. He just got this expression of, I dunno … longing, I guess. Like we were talking about something he really, really missed.”

“That’s so mean,” Luffy says darkly. “People should be free to do whatever they want, so long as they’re not trying to control anyone else.”

“I know, Captain,” Zoro replies. “Trust me, I’m not disagreeing with you.”

“Yeah,” Luffy huffs out an annoyed breath. “I wish we could just take him and get out of here. All this sitting around is getting really boring, and I don’t like Judge. Or the rest of his kids, except maybe the sister.”

“You’ve met them once,” Zoro points out. “Although I’ll give you the point about Reiju. She doesn’t seem as bad as the rest. Still, it’s everyone else who keeps getting stuck having to spend all day on their stupid snail ships. If anyone has the right to complain, it’s me.”

“No,” Nami says, apparently having caught the tail end of their conversation as she approaches. “If anyone gets to complain it’s Jinbe and I. You get to spend all your time hanging out with Sanji. We’re the ones who keep getting stuck in a room with Judge and whichever assortment of his kids he’s chosen to have join him on any given day. He’s a condescending prick and the three brothers are just urgh . I can’t stand them.”

“So why don’t we just kick their asses and go?” Luffy complains. “We know Sanji doesn’t want to be here, so it’s not like it’s going to bother him if we help him leave.”

“It will if we don’t do it right,” Zoro says, confident of that much despite his and Sanji’s admittedly brief acquaintance. “Just taking him won’t be enough, we have to make sure the Vinsmokes are too crippled to come after us or Red Leg. He and his crew will be sitting ducks if Judge decides to take any frustrations out on them.”

“Which means destroying the labs and any ability on Judge’s part to rebuild his army,” Nami concludes. “And to do that, we need to get the proper mechanics in place. Robin and Franky are working on that, but it’s not something that can be rushed.”

Luffy sighs, but also nods to show that he’s willing to curb his impatience for the time being. “I just wish there was more for me to do,” he laments. “All this sitting around on the Sunny while you guys go off and see things is getting boring.”

“You’ll have plenty to do soon enough,” Nami says grimly. “Judge is already making noise about wanting to have a feast at the palace once we’ve concluded the terms of the alliance. Plus, if we actually have to go through with the wedding ceremony, you’ll be there for that too.”

“Yeah, about that,” Zoro interjects. “Exactly how likely is it that we have to take things that far? Because, I’ll be honest with you, he was a lot nicer to me today, but I still don’t think Sanji’s overly excited about the whole idea.”

“We’re talking about the man being forced into marrying a near total stranger so that his warmongering birth father won’t murder his actual father,” Nami says dryly. “Under the circumstances, I’d be more concerned if he did like the idea.”

“But don’t worry about the marriage itself,” she continues on breezily. “If worse comes to worst, we’ll just find an island somewhere where you two can get a divorce. In the grand scheme of things, there are way more important parts of the plan to worry about.”

“Speak for yourself,” Zoro grumbles. “You're not the one whose ribs he nearly caved in.”

“Honestly, I don’t see why you’re complaining about that,” Nami replies. “First of all, we both know you had it coming, and second of all you’ve been wanting another fighter on the crew who could keep up with you for years now. If he’s strong enough to put you on your ass with a single kick, then you may have actually found one if he agrees to stick around.”

“Huh,” Zoro says, an idea suddenly occurring to him. “You know, you might just be onto something there?”

*****

“So what’ll it be today, Commander?” Sanji asks cheekily the next time Zoro’s deposited near the fountain with him. “I’m afraid there are only so many tours of this place I can give you before I run out of things to say, but I promise I’ll give it my best shot if that’s what you’re after again.”

“Okay, first, stop calling me that,” Zoro says with a pointed glare. “Second, I want you to spar with me.”

“Oh come on. So far you’ve called me names in reference to my hair and my eyebrows. Surely I should be allowed to pick something that annoys - wait, what?” Having belatedly caught up to the latter of Zoro’s demands, Sanji blinks, taken aback. “Did you just say you want to spar together?”

“Yep,” Zoro confirms. “Something the witch said yesterday made me realize we have only a vague idea of what you can do. I know you’re strong - even coming at me with a cheap shot like you did, most people usually can’t send me ass over heels - but I want a better understanding than that.”

“Excuse me?” Sanji barks, planting his hands on his hips and glaring at Zoro with surprising fervor. “Did you just accuse me of cheating ?”

Zoro grins in response, pretty sure he’s about to get what he’s after. “You suckered me,” he insists. “One minute we were in the middle of a conversation, and the next you were jumping me. I mean, I’m all for fighting dirty when the situation calls for it, but that seemed like a bit much.”

“Given the words that were coming out of your mouth at the time in question, I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree,” Sanji retorts. “From where I’m standing, the only thing I did wrong was in aiming at something other than that moss covered head of yours.”

“Pity for you that you’re not going to get another chance then,” Zoro says, actively taunting him now. “If we were to go head to head, there’s no way in hell you’d stand a chance against me.”

“Oh you think so, do you?” Sanji demands, his voice so clipped Zoro’s surprised there isn’t actual steam coming out of his ears. “I’ll take that bet, Mossball, and then I’m going to make you eat your words.”

“But not here,” he says before Zoro can start drawing his blades free. “This is no place for that kind of thing, and the training grounds are better equipped to handle us anyway. Come with me and I’ll show you.”

Willing to play along, Zoro shifts his hand away from his swords and trots obediently after the blond when he turns on his heel and begins marching away. He keeps up with the pace Sanji sets easily enough, and it’s not long before men’s voices and the clash of metal on metal reaches his ears.

“Ignore them,” Sanji says when Zoro flicks his gaze over to the groups of people engaged in combat practice. “We’re probably going to draw a crowd no matter what, but we’ll head for one of the more secluded spots to delay that for as long as possible.”

“Aww,” Zoro coos. “What’s the matter, Curls? Let me guess, you don’t like the thought of there being witnesses around when I kick your ass.”

“You’re obnoxious,” Sanji says flatly. “Not to mention mistaken. The only person about to get their ass kicked here is you, Marimo.”

“Oh just for that I’m not even going to pretend to go easy on you,” Zoro hisses. He can feel himself grinning, though, and it gets even wider when Sanji matches it with one of his own.

“We’ll see.” Sanji says, and apparently they must have reached a suitable location because rather than bypassing the next training mound the same way he has all the others, the blond sheds the red cloak they’ve got him in today and steps out onto the hard packed earth. “You can leave anything you want by the railing there.”

Easily able to imagine Nami’s reaction if he damages the new clothes she’d insisted he purchase with money she’d lent him, Zoro takes that as his cue to drape the black overrobe he’s wearing and the sash that’s been keeping it belted in place next to Sanji’s cloak. Bare from the waist up, he then walks into the ring.

“That really is a nasty piece of work you’ve got there.” Sanji comments, and it takes Zoro a second to realize he’s talking about the scar that spans almost the entire length of his torso. “Who gave it to you?”

“Dracule Mihawk,” he admits, unsurprised when Sanji’s eyes widen slightly. “And maybe someday I’ll be nice and tell you the whole story.”

“You’re lucky you survived,” Sanji says. “A hit like that, most people wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t just survive,” Zoro says. “I’m going to keep getting better until I surpass the old bastard.”

Sanji smirks. “How about you focus on trying to beat me first.”

Zoro matches the other man’s smirk with one of his own, and then the two of them begin circling each other in the ring. 

Sanji hasn’t said as much, but given the way he’d reacted feet first the other day, combined with the fact that Red Leg was known for never fighting with his hands, Zoro’s going to assume he uses the same fighting style. He’s not betting on it a hundred percent, however, which is why he keeps one hand on Kitetsu’s hilt, but otherwise waits for the blond to make the first move.

As anticipated, when Sanji does move, the first thing he does is bring his right leg up in a powerful kick. He’s fast, so fast that he sneaks into range before Zoro quite knows what’s happening, although he manages to get his sword up in time to keep the kick from connecting this time.

“Interesting opener,” Zoro says, the muscles in his forearm straining as Sanji continues bearing down on Kitetsu’s blade. “You don’t use your hands when you fight, do you?”

“I don’t,” Sanji agrees. “And maybe someday I’ll be nice and tell you the whole story.”

Laughing at hearing his earlier words parroted back at him, Zoro twists his wrist in a motion that throws Sanji off balance, pulling his sword back and up at the same time. The move makes Sanji stumble backwards, giving him barely enough time to dive when Zoro swipes at him.

They go back forth like that for a while, each of them testing the waters to get a feel for the other’s capabilities. Then Zoro decides he’s spent enough time playing around, and draws Enma free to join Kitetsu.

“Finally starting to take this seriously, are you?” Sanji asks when he sees this. “Good.”

“We’ll see if you’re still saying that after you’ve had a taste of both of them,” Zoro retorts, grinning when Sanji does.

Things heat up after that, and it’s not long before the sound of repeated clashes fills the air. They connect multiple times, trading blow after blow, but with neither of them having much luck in getting past the other’s defenses. 

That fact causes a thrill to go up Zoro’s spine, and he doesn’t think he’s the only one. Something about the way Sanji’s carrying himself suggests that the other man is equally enjoying himself, and they continue moving as an evenly matched pair until someone angrily clears their throat in the background.

The intrusive noise jerks Zoro out of his reverie, and it’s only then that he realizes they’ve drawn quite a crowd while they’ve been sparring. A couple dozen soldiers are milling around the outside of the ring, but that’s not the most noticeable part.

Someone must have alerted those in the negotiations to what was going on because when Zoro glances to the side he catches sight of both Nami and Jinbe - the pair of them sticking out like a sore thumb among the drab practice uniforms of the Germa soldiers. Even worse, however, Judge has come down to see what all of the fuss is about, and he’s flanked by Reiju and Ichiji.

“Shit,” Sanji mutters under his breath, quietly enough that it’s unlikely anyone else will have heard him. He eyes the king warily, his posture hunched defensively in a way it hasn’t been throughout their entire match.

Wondering if he should ask what’s wrong, Zoro keeps his mouth shut, which turns out to be the better course of action. Drawing in a deep breath, Judge pins them both with an angry look and glares.

“What is the meaning of this?” The king demands. “We are in the middle of arranging a treaty between our two houses, a treaty that you two are at the center of, and you’re out here brawling like a pair of mongrel dogs!”

A quick glance at Nami tells Zoro that the navigator is prepared to try and do some damage control here, but a second, even quicker glance at Sanji tells him he’s not interested in being diplomatic. The blond’s face is flushed a furious, mortified red, and his hands are clenched protectively at his sides as he refuses to meet anyone’s eyes.

Rather than tuck his blades away, Zoro brings them up to rest each of the flats against his shoulders, and gives the king a disdainful look. “Are you fucking blind?” He asks casually. “Or do you not recognize sparring when you see it?”

He thinks he hears Sanji choke behind him, but the angle he’s now turned at to keep Judge in his sights means he can’t see to be sure. Meanwhile, Judge’s face is contorted with rage, a fact that Zoro truly couldn’t care less about.

“You impudent brat,” Judge spits, glaring at Zoro for all he’s worth. “How dare you speak to me like that?”

Zoro shrugs, Kitetsu and Enma riding up and down with the motion. “It’s a valid question,” he says. “Or, I guess technically they both were. We’ve been sparring. What’s it to you?”

“You are supposed to be preparing for your upcoming wedding ceremony,” Judge snaps. “Not wrestling in the dirt!”

“There’s not even a date for the ceremony yet,” Zoro reminds him. “But if it makes you feel any better, I dragged him down here, in part to make sure that there’s actually going to be one. Like hell am I going to marry someone who can’t fight. We’re an Emperor's crew. He’d be a liability if he couldn’t hold his own.”

“Which he can, by the way,” he adds, twisting his neck around so that he’s speaking more to Sanji as he shows his approval. “So at least we can check that off the list.”

Judge blinks at him, nonplussed, and Jinbe takes that as his cue to step in.

“Your Majesty,” he begins tersely, “I apologize for our crewmate’s … choice of wording when it came to addressing you, and for the rather unorthodox way he’s gone about handling this matter. Having said that, I’m afraid I’m going to have to agree that he has a point.”

“We’re the Strawhat Pirates,” the helmsman rumbles. “You sought us out for an alliance because our reputation precedes us, but that very reputation should mean you’re well aware of how often we clash with powerful opponents. If the boy can’t keep up,” he says, nodding at Sanji, “then that’s a problem. Happily for all parties involved, however, if Zoro’s satisfied with his skill set, I’m sure our captain will be too.”

“ … I see,” Judge says after a weighted pause. “Well, I can’t say I care much for your attitude, Roronoa, but under the circumstances - and in the interest of seeing the negotiations continue apace - in this instance I will let it slide. I suppose it’s only fair to make allowances given that you lack a royal upbringing.”

“ Zoro ,” Nami says pointedly before he can get a chance to respond. 

“Whatever,” he says, figuring he’s said his piece and therefore may as well back off. “Are we done for the day then? Because I’m not loving being gawked at.”

“We’ve concluded our talks for the time being, yes.” Judge rumbles. “We’ll pick them up again tomorrow.”

“Great,” Zoro says with a sigh. “That’s exactly what I figured you’d say.”

*****

“What are you doing?”

Having snuck into the kitchens early enough that not even the first of the staff should have arrived yet, Sanji feels his heart leap into his throat when a quiet voice is suddenly purring in his ear. Yelping, he lurches to the side, the move putting him at such an angle that he can now see Reiju’s judgemental stare.

“Never mind what I’m doing, what are you doing?” He demands, placing a hand dramatically over his chest. “You nearly gave me a goddamned heart attack!”

“How convenient,” his sister replies coolly. “If you’re lucky, that will take you out before someone else catches you in here. Judge is watching you at the best of times, Sanji, but now he’s doing it even more so. Especially after the little display you put on yesterday afternoon.”

“None of that was my fault,” Sanji insists. “You heard Roronoa. He was the one who wanted to spar with me, and it was him who got mouthy with Judge. I was only accommodating the Strawhats the way I was told to.”

“Oh, of course,” Reiju says, her expression flat. “I’m sure you got no enjoyment whatsoever from watching your intended talk to Father the way he did.”

“It was all him, Reiju.” Sanji says. “If he doesn’t like Judge, that has nothing to do with me.”

“It will if he can’t control his temper,” she counters. “The king will only tolerate so much insubordination before he decides he’d rather see his son-in-law-to-be bleeding out in the courtyard. Proposed alliance or no proposed alliance.”

“Look,” Sanji sighs. “I got the impression that Jinbe and Nami weren’t overly pleased with his behavior either. They probably lit into him once they were back onboard the Thousand Sunny , but if it makes you feel any better I’ll have a word with him when he comes back today and see what I can do hint that he might want to be more careful.”

“I think that’d be for the best if you can get him to listen,” Reiju agrees. “The negotiations are going well so far, and, to date, Roronoa does not appear to be completely reprehensible. I’d hate to see him destroy everything this late in the game.”

“Judge needs this deal too much for him to let a little thing like bad manners get in his way,” Sanji says, returning to his previously vacated place by the stove. “He’ll resent how he’s been spoken to for the rest of his days, but he’ll tolerate it if it gets him what he wants.”

“Only to a point,” Reiju warns, but Sanji shrugs as he adjusts a burner. “I see. You’re taking this exactly as seriously as I should have expected. You enjoyed seeing Judge be insulted in front of dozens of his men, didn’t you?”

“Obviously,” Sanji says, seeing no reason to hide it. “I hate Judge probably more than anyone else alive, and if this is how my life is going to turn out, I’m going to take my wins where I can find them. At least if I have to be married to a rude, dirty pirate, let it be one who shares my opinion of the man.”

“You don’t sound quite as bothered by your aforementioned marriage as you did before,” Reiju notes. “Don’t tell me you’re starting to like Roronoa.”

“All I’m doing is making the best of a bad situation,” Sanji replies. “The odds of having a second Emperor get taken out on the eve of me marrying one of their subordinates are slim to none, so I’m probably going to be stuck with this one.”

“And yet you sound less disappointed in this case than you did when the proposed pirate was a beautiful young woman who liked to cook as much as you do,” Reiju says suspiciously. “Forgive me if I seem a little confused by this. What happened to him being a crass, uncouth brute?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Sanji says. “Because he’s definitely all of that and more. He’s so far been treating me like an equal, though, which has to count for something.”

Reiju surprises him then by placing a hand on his shoulder. “Sanji, you need to be careful,” she says when he turns to look at her. “Don’t go turning this into some fantasy it’s not. Roronoa’s here at the behest of his captain, which means you can’t trust that anything he says or does isn’t in the service of Strawhat’s goals. If he’s been kind to you so far, there’s no guarantee that he’ll continue doing so.”

“Maybe,” Sanji replies, but even he can hear the dubious note in his voice. “Then again, maybe not. He didn’t say anything to Judge about how I behaved the first time we were alone together, even though his crew could have used it to their advantage. And he certainly didn’t do them any favors with what he said yesterday.”

“I’ll grant you that much,” Reiju says. “His motivations have so far seemed a little … confusing.”

“Pfft,” Sanji scoffs. “Try a lot confusing,” he suggests. “This whole process hasn’t been anything like what I expected.”

“Regardless,” Reiju says, looking like she’s getting ready to leave. “Remember what I said, and be careful. Don’t let your temper get the better of you, and don’t get complacent where Roronoa or the rest of the Strawhats are concerned. They’re pirates, after all. The interests they favor above all else are their own.”

“Yes, yes,” Sanji says, waving her off so that he can return to the food he’s preparing. “Don’t worry. If there’s one thing my life has ingrained in me, it’s a type of fervent cynicism. I promise not to let the big, bad swordsman woo me into a sense of complacency.”

Reiju gives him a flat stare. “A few weeks ago I would have believed that. Now, I’m not so sure. Perhaps we should stop leaving you two alone together unsupervised.”

“ Goodbye , Reiju.” Sanji says firmly. “I’m sure I’ll see you later.”

Looking distinctly unhappy, Reiju goes.

*****

Sanji hopes he doesn’t look too nervous when he and Roronoa meet later on, but sadly he appears to be out of luck. 

Most likely out of a misguided show of force on Judge’s part, Ichiji and Niji oversee the next transfer. Neither of them seems to be overly happy with the task, yet they also give no indication they’re picking up on anything unusual. Roronoa, however, gives him a shrewd look upon arrival.

“What?” Sanji asks in lieu of a proper greeting once his brothers have departed. “Why are you looking at me like that, Mossball? Didn’t anyone ever teach you that staring’s rude?”

Roronoa snorts at this. “If you haven’t noticed by now,” he drawls lazily, “you and I have had vastly different upbringings.”

“I - that’s fair,” Sanji admits, opting to seize the opening that’s just presented itself. “Considering the fact that we’re going to be married sooner rather than later, I really don’t know that much about you. How about we change that?”

“What did you have in mind?” Roronoa asks. He doesn’t look put out, exactly, but nor does he seem particularly receptive to the idea of anyone prying into his personal life.

Still, Sanji’s put a fair amount of effort into today’s plan, so he figures he may as well soldier on unless he’s given an outright no. “I thought we might do something a little different today - maybe go somewhere more secluded.”

Roronoa’s eyebrows shoot you towards his hairline, but he shrugs easily enough. “If you like,” he says quietly. “You’ll have to lead the way, though. This damn island’s such a rat warren of paths, I don’t have a clue how anyone gets anything done.”

Sanji blinks at him. “It’s hardly that bad,” he says, turning and motioning for the other man to follow him. “Surely you must be getting familiar with at least some spots by now.”

“Don’t really plan on being here long enough for that,” Roronoa says gruffly as he falls into step beside him. Then he pauses, his face taking on an unusually cautious expression. “I mean - you knew that, didn’t you? Please tell me someone explained how we’re not going to be able to stay in Germa, and that I didn’t just accidentally give you the kind of news that’s going to make you try to kick me in the head again.”

Sanji can’t help it, he laughs. However, he also feels a quick flash of something warm stirring in his gut, unsure of how to react to the notion of this scarred and violent pirate implying that he might care whether or not Sanji’s comfortable with what the future holds.

“I knew,” he confirms upon realizing that Roronoa’s still waiting for an answer. “My sister’s been keeping me updated on how the negotiations are going.”

“Right. Makes sense.” Roronoa replies. Then he waffles for a moment, appearing to have some kind of internal debate with himself, before he asks, “How do you feel about that?”

Whether the other man realizes it or not, that’s a very loaded question. Sanji considers a few possible answers, but ultimately shrugs. “Under the circumstances, my job here is to do what I’m told. Which, I will, I promise. I’ve got no interest in seeing this alliance fail.”

Quite the opposite, really, but it’s one thing to be a little overly candid with the man. It’s entirely another to hand over any information about Zeff and the Baratie . Those are secrets he’ll be taking to the grave, lest anyone else find a way to use them against him.

“Anyway,” he says, wanting to move the conversation along because Roronoa’s looking less than satisfied with his answer. “If you’ve been finding the castle hard to figure out, you might want to stick close. We’re not going anywhere you’ve been before, and I’d hate to have you wander off and get lost.”

“I don’t get lost,” Roronoa grumbles. “Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you. Especially if it’s Usopp or the witch.”

“For the hundredth time,” Sanji sighs. “Would you stop calling that lovely woman by those horrible names? You’re such a brute.”

“Better a brute than a swirlybrowed idiot.”

“Tch! I thought you didn’t want me kicking your head in. Isn’t that what you said earlier?”

“Uh, no . I said I didn’t want you trying . There’s a difference. One of them implies you’ll succeed.”

“Oh, I’ll more than succeed . Just you watch.”

They continue bickering as Sanji leads them along a path to the outskirts of the castle grounds, and then outside them altogether. If Roronoa’s concerned when they pass through one of the smallest outer gates, he doesn’t show it, and Sanji’s thankful that this one is currently unmanned.

“Okay, yeah, I probably wouldn’t have been able to find this place on my own.” Roronoa admits when they finally come to a stop. “How’d you even know this was here?”

“All the snail ships have pathways down to the water line if you know where to look,” Sanji explains, glancing around at the sandy area that’s nevertheless shaded by overgrown trees and other foliage. 

The plants also provide a level of privacy that nowhere else they’ve been to date contains, bringing with them a sense of relief since they’re unlikely to have anyone stumble over them down here. “This is one of my favorites, though. Thanks to where it interlocks on the edge of the country, it’s got access to the ocean no matter what formation it’s in.”

“S’nice,” Roronoa agrees, his gaze following Sanji’s out onto the water. “Do you swim down here?”

“Sometimes,” Sanji confirms. “But it can be risky depending on how fast the ships are moving. I don’t imagine Judge would be very impressed if I let myself get swept away because I wasn’t watching the state of the waves.”

“The edge of the ship slopes a bit before it cuts off completely, though,” he adds, pointing at the area he means. “Even if the option of swimming is out for the day, you can still wade along it for a bit without too much risk. I like to do at least that much when I can.”

Roronoa glances down at his heavy soled boots and Sanji’s more polished dress shoes. “Is that why we’re here?” He asks. 

“I mean, we can if you like,” Sanji says slowly, having never considered the possibility that the other man might be interested. “But I also brought something else.” 

“Hmm?”

At his companion’s inquiring noise, Sanji shuffles over to a clump of bushes located not far from where they’re standing. Bending down, he grabs the handle of the basket he’d stashed there in the wee hours of the morning, lifting it easily and then turning around to show the other man what he’s holding.

“You always seem to get hungry during these visits,” he says, trying and failing not to blush. “I thought maybe we could sit down for a full meal together somewhere without a bunch of people staring at us.”

“If you want, that is,” he mumbles when Roronoa doesn’t make a move to say anything. “It was just an idea.”

He drops his gaze down to the ground, feeling his face heat even further, and it’s thanks to this that he has a perfect view when a heavily scarred hand wraps itself around the basket’s handle not far from his own.

“That sounds great,” Roronoa says earnestly when they’re eyes meet. “What did you bring?”

*****

The first thing they do - mainly because Sanji insists on it - is spread a blanket out over the ground not far from the water’s edge. It’d be bad enough getting dirt on themselves while they’re trying to eat, but the thought of inadvertently spoiling the food isn’t even worth considering.

Based on the way Roronoa snickers, he clearly thinks the blanket is overkill, but that doesn’t stop him from humoring Sanji and playing along. Once the blanket’s properly arranged, he flops down on top of it, crossing his legs in front of him and eagerly eyeing the basket.

“I tried to bring a varied selection since I only know a few things you like,” Sanji admits as he flips the top of the basket open. “But there’s a plate of freshly made onigiri given how fond you are of it, and also … ”

“Sea king meat!” Roronoa exclaims happily when Sanji pulls a container free and cracks its lid. “You remembered.”

“It wasn’t hard,” Sanji says sheepishly. “It was one of two things you said you enjoy, and not many people have a taste for the stuff because of how hard it is to come by.”

“It smells amazing.” Roronoa says, reaching towards it, only to have Sanji swat him away.

“You can’t just eat it straight out of the carton,” he scolds when the other man gives him a betrayed look. “Let me put it on a plate and get you some utensils first. Over my dead body am I letting you use your bare hands for this.”

“Utensils are overrated,” Roronoa says, grinning when Sanji gives him an appalled look. “Well they are .”

“Every day you give me something new to be horrified about,” Sanji informs him. “Either use a knife and fork like a civilized person, or I will introduce you to them via your one remaining eye.”

“Harsh.” Roronoa says, but he pulls his hands back and instead shifts them to start tugging at the laces of his boots.

“What are you doing?” Sanji asks curiously.

“Getting comfortable,” is the reply. The laces undone, Roronoa kicks his way free from both boots, spreading his legs out until they reach the trailing end of the blanket and wriggling his toes in the sand. Then he unhooks all three swords from his belt and lays them down carefully not far out of reach. “Care to join me?”

“Maybe in a minute,” Sanji surprises himself by saying. “Let me get the food sorted first.”

“Suit yourself.” Roronoa replies, and while Sanji busies himself with unpacking all the food, he leans forward to roll his pant legs up around his knees. The action reveals a pair of matching scars set deep into his ankles, unwittingly drawing Sanji’s attention.

“What in the world?” Sanji asks, and Roronoa laughs when he follows his gaze. 

“These ones you really don’t want to hear the story of,” he huffs. “Luffy, Nami, and Usopp still make fun of me for them, even though it’s been years.”

Sanji tilts his head to the side, unabashed in his intrigue. “I’ve never seen marks like that before,” he says. “What made them?”

“I did,” Roronoa replies, shrugging when Sanji gapes at him. “It happened back in our early days on the Grand Line. We tangled with some members of Baroque Works at a place called Little Garden. Nami, myself, and … a friend we were sailing with got caught in a trap. We were going to die if we didn’t get free, so I was ready to do what was necessary.”

“Do what was … ” Trailing off, Sanji’s eyes fall to the trio of nearby swords. “You turned those things on yourself.”

“Technically it was Kitetsu and one I don’t have anymore,” Roronoa replies, nodding at the sword with the red scabbard. “I lost Yubashiri at Enies Lobby.”

“Now that fight I have heard of,” Sanji says, resuming his unpacking. “It’s the one that really put your crew on the map. Mainly because it’s not everyday that a group of pirates are willing to declare war on the World Government.”

“They started it,” Roronoa says sharply. “They picked a fight with us when they took Robin.”

For at least the third time, Sanji stops what he’s doing to stare at the other man. “I’m sorry,” he says, one hand holding aloft the bottle of wine he’s just pulled free. “You - you challenged the World Government over what?”

“You didn’t know? Fair enough, maybe it’s not common knowledge,” Roronoa says when Sanji shakes his head. “But yeah, CP - whatever the fuck they’re called these days caught Robin on Water 7, and their plan was to throw her in Impel Down. We stopped them.”

“You destroyed Enies Lobby and put a price on all of your heads for one person?” Sanji asks.

“One crewmate ,” Roronoa corrects. “There’s a difference.”

Sanji wrinkles his nose and sets the bottle down. “Didn’t Strawhat go to Impel Down on his own too? When he caused all that mess at Marineford, wasn’t he there first?”

“Yeah,” Roronoa says grimly. “He needed allies because we’d all gotten separated at a place called Sabaody, and none of us were around to try and help him save Ace.”

It takes Sanji a moment to place the catch in the other man’s voice, but when he does, it dawns on him that it’s guilt. Roronoa Zoro thinks he let his captain down during the War of the Best, and he’s yet to let it go.

“Sorry,” Sanji says, figuring he should back off. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“S’fine,” Roronoa says. “Kinda goes hand in hand with the idea of getting to know each other better, I guess.”

“Still,” Sanji says. Having finished what he was doing, he holds out a plate loaded down with several choice cuts of sea king meat. “Try this, if you like.”

Roronoa eagerly accepts the plate, and he barely has a fork in hand before he’s shoveling a massive hunk of meat into his mouth. His table manners continue to leave something to be desired, but the appreciative moan he lets out is a different story.

“ Holy fuck ,” he groans. “This is fucking delicious .”

“You think?” Sanji asks, his ears burning. He’s not about to confess to having prepared the meal, but seeing his food be enjoyed is always flattering. “It’s just, you know, properly cooked meat.”

“Like hell it is.” Roronoa says, his words muffled thanks to the fact that he hasn’t quite finished chewing yet. “I haven’t tasted anything this good since we left the East Blue. You better hope Luffy doesn’t get a hold of this because he’ll try and kidnap your cook if he does.” 

“I’ll, uh, keep that in mind.” Sanji says, squirming awkwardly. “Although, I’d kind of assumed cooking wasn’t a high priority for him since your crew doesn’t have anyone dedicated to the position.”

Swallowing another mouthful of food, Roronoa barks out a laugh. “That’s not it at all,” he says, still chuckling. “We don’t have a cook because we’ve never been able to find someone who can keep up with the crew’s appetites, especially Luffy’s.”

“Chopper - that’s our doctor, I don’t think you’ve met him yet - thinks it has something to do with his devil fruit. Luffy fuckin’ loves food. Especially meat. Any kind of meat. All kinds of meat. I can pack stuff away and so can a lot of the others, but he can eat more than the rest of us combined. Keeping him fed is a full time job.”

“ Really ?” Sanji asks, and it’s probably weird how breathless he sounds as he asks that question, but if Roronoa notices, he doesn’t comment.

“Really,” he says instead. “I think Nami mentioned something about having a feast at the palace once the alliance is all sorted out. You’ll see what I mean if that happens.”

“I’m sure it’ll be a memorable experience,” Sanji says. “Almost as memorable as watching you eat.”

“I grew up in a dojo that doubled as an orphanage, and there wasn’t always enough food to go around,” Roronoa says without shame. “Old habits die hard, I guess. Plus, we never had food like this there. If we had, I might not have left.”

“Roronoa, you are absolutely ridiculous.” Sanji says, a comment that earns him a searching glance. “It’s just food.”

“It isn’t,” the other man replies, “and my name’s Zoro. If we’re going to be living together, you may as well use it.”

“I’ll think about it,” Sanji says lamely, watching as he continues plowing his way through the plate of sea king meat. “There’s other food, you know. I even ma - brought dessert, but if you keep going at the rate you are, you’re not going to have room for anything else.”

“Please,” Roronoa scoffs. “I’ve barely even started. Keep the good stuff coming, Curls, I’ll pack it away. Except maybe the dessert, I’ve never really been much for sweet stuff.”

“Oh.” Sanji says, and he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him because he’s somehow simultaneously thrilled to hear that the man wants to keep eating, yet disappointed that something as simple as the dessert he made is likely to get rejected. “I wish I’d known that beforehand. I could have made other arrangements.”

Roronoa eyes him over the plate of food, chewing absently on the latest cut he’s selected. “I can try whatever it is,” he says finally. “There’s no sense in letting it go to waste. Also, why aren’t you eating? I’m assuming we’re supposed to share the food.”

“Uh, right.” Sanji says belatedly. “I just … thought I’d be polite and make sure you were taken care of first.” 

“I’m good,” Roronoa promises, nodding towards the basket. “Help yourself.”

“Sure. Why don’t I just do that.”

*****

“I’m telling you, it was the best damn food I have ever tasted, and I’m positive he was the one who made it. He just got this - this look on his face when I told him how good it was. There’s no way anyone else touched that lunch. It was all him.”

“That’s nice,” Nami says tiredly. “But we heard you the first time already, and there’s nothing we can do about it right now. Stop gushing about what an amazing chef Sanji is until we’ve gotten him out of Germa. You’re getting Luffy all worked up.”

“Wh - oh.” Following the navigator’s gaze, Zoro glances down to the opposite end of the galley table, a little alarmed by the look on their captain’s face. He could be wrong, but he thinks the younger man has started drooling, and that it has nothing to do with the crew’s current meal. “Sorry, Luf. I didn’t mean to get you so excited.”

“Who says he’s the only one getting excited?” Franky grumbles, leaning out of the way as Robin sprouts a series of hands to carry plates down in a blatant attempt to distract Luffy. “Supper looks fine and all, but you’re making me lose interest because Sanji didn’t make it.”

“What he said,” Usopp says from where he’s busy upending a bottle of hot sauce over his own meal. “You’re making me hungry, which is impressive given that we’re surrounded by food.”

“Yeah, but it’s just food. No offense, Brook,” Zoro says since the skeleton had cooked. At Brook’s affable nod, he turns back to their resident sniper. “The stuff Sanji gave me today wasn’t. And he went out of his way to make things he knew I liked. He practically catered to me.”

“He didn’t practically cater to you, he literally did,” Nami corrects. “Although it probably helped that you don’t exactly have the most refined palate in the world.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Zoro says with certainty. “He’s professionally trained and it shows. I bet he’ll be just as good with anyone else’s favorites too.”

“My, Zoro, I can’t remember the last time I saw you so worked up over something,” Robin says idly. “I’m glad to see how well you and Sanji seem to be getting along. Hopefully that will make him more inclined to sail with us on a permanent basis once Judge and the others have been dealt with.”

“I really hope he does,” Chopper says while Zoro’s still busy trying to come up with a response to this. “His food sounds so good, I can’t wait to try it.”

“Me either,” Luffy says, having finished devouring the recent plate Robin had given him. “If Zoro’s this excited, I bet Sanji’s an even better cook than his dad is. We’re going to be so lucky to have him join our crew.”

“ If he agrees to join,” Nami says pointedly. “A fact that’s contingent on us getting him out of Judge’s clutches safely, might I add. What’s the status of the job in the labs?”

“As good as it’s going to get.” Franky says, giving her a thumbs up that then morphs into a high five he shares with Robin. “We deposited a few special presents during our tour down there, and they’re pretty well concealed.”

“The longer we take to complete the mission, though, the more likely they are to be discovered,” Robin warns. “Which I’m sure would result in the kind of catastrophic event where Judge turns the entirety of Germa’s might on us, effectively sending us all to a watery grave without any chance of helping Sanji.”

“ … maybe don’t let that happen,” Usopp whimpers after the room has descended into silence for a bit. “Because it doesn’t sound very fun.”

“It doesn’t,” Robin agrees, “but my point stands. We need to get out of here, sooner rather than later.”

“So, about that,” Nami says slowly. “I’ve got an idea of when the best time to make our move is.”

“Yes?”

“I think we need to do it after the wedding ceremony. No, hear me out,” she says, holding up her hands defensively when Zoro gapes at her. “One, we need all the Vinsmokes gathered in the same spot, so we know we don’t miss anyone. So far they haven’t let that happen, but they’ll all be present for the wedding. More importantly, they’ll all be away from the labs and unlikely to be able to stop anything we launch down there.”

“It’ll also be the ideal place to grab Sanji,” she continues on after Zoro’s started to nod begrudgingly. “If you steal him away during one of your outings, Judge might think he’s going with you voluntarily. We need to make a big show where he’s just as surprised as the rest of them.”

“Okay fine,” Zoro says, willing to concede that this all makes sense. “But why does it have to be after the ceremony? Why can’t it be in the middle, or right at the start even?”

“Because legally binding him to you will separate him from the Vinsmoke name in a way nothing else will,” she replies. “It’ll give him an extra layer of protection.”

“Bullshit,” Zoro shoots back. “You’re only suggesting this because you think it’ll be funny.”

“Maybe,” she says impishly, “but I’ll never tell.”

“Ugh, Luffy ,” Zoro groans. “Tell her to stop being such a colossal pain in the ass.”

“It’s Nami’s plan,” Luffy replies solemnly. “She knows what she’s talking about.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Nami says, her words earning more than a few snickers from their assembled crewmates. “Now that that’s out of the way, Jinbe and I will work on bringing the negotiations to a close during our next meeting.”

“That shouldn’t be hard,” Jinbe confirms. “Seeing as how we’ve been stalling to give Robin and Franky time to complete their part.”

“Exactly,” Nami says. “So we’ll take care of that, and then it’ll be on to arranging the ceremony. I suspect Judge has already been secretly planning that, though, so it shouldn’t take long to hash those details out.”

“Do I get literally any say in this?” Zoro wants to know.

“No,” Nami says. “All you need to do is finish your supper like a good little swordsman, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

*****

“You’re not hungry?”

“Hmm? Oh.” Barely bothering to lift his head from where he has his chin pillowed on his knees, Sanji flicks his gaze over to their latest picnic spread and shrugs. “I guess I don’t have much of an appetite today for some reason. Don’t let that hold you back, though. Eat as much as you like.”

“Does it look like I’m not?” Zoro asks, holding up the half cleared plate of shrimp fried rice he’s been steadily making his way through. “Don’t worry, Co - Curls. I’m not sitting around on your account. Not when I’ve got food like this at hand.”

That earns him a faint smile from Sanji as the man rests his chin back on his knees. “You talk a big game, Mossy,” he says quietly. “But at this point I’m pretty sure you’ll eat anything.”

“I absolutely will,” Zoro agrees. “And if you don’t believe me, you should ask Luffy about how we met when you get a chance. He’ll have a hell of a story to tell you.”

Sanji shifts slightly, moving instead to prop an elbow on his knees and his chin in the palm of his hand. “Why don’t you tell me then?” He says, sounding curious. “I’d love to hear how the famous Pirate Hunter became a pirate himself.”

“Ask Luffy,” Zoro repeats. “He loves telling it, and I let him have his fun.”

“Fine. Keep your secrets.” Sanji huffs. “I suspect it’s one thing for you to have a candid conversation with one of the Four Emperors as his first mate, but it’s another thing entirely for the likes of me to do it.”

“How’d you figure?”

Sanji shrugs again. “Just because I’m going to be living on the Thousand Sunny , doesn’t make me a member of his crew. Truth be told, I don’t really know what’s expected of me once we leave Germa. The alliance between the Vinsmokes and the Strawhats is based on a mutual exchange of power. I’m merely a token thrown in to somehow sweeten the deal.”

“Oi, don’t talk like that.” Zoro says sharply, nudging him in the hip with the toe of his boot. “S’dumb.”

“No, it most assuredly isn’t.” Sanji says, swatting him away. “It’s a statement of fact, and an accurate one at that. I have nothing to offer you or your Captain, so I frankly don’t see why he ever bothered agreeing to this part of the arrangement. He could have gotten his hands on Germa’s technology for the simple price of an agreement of mutual aid, which he’s already provided. There’s no reason to include me too.”

In that moment, Zoro wants more than ever to be able to explain the plan, to tell Sanji that not only is he a key part of the agreement, he’s the only part that matters from the Strawhats’ perspective. He’s under orders not to say anything, though - Nami’s concern that the cook will balk at the thought of escape if word that he was in on it ever gets back to Judge alive and well. 

So instead he sighs, and sets down his plate. “What’s done is done,” he says simply. “I get that this probably isn’t how you saw your life playing out, and that I’m likely not much of a prize as far as you’re concerned, but it won’t be so bad. I promise.”

“Oh shit, I - I didn’t mean to imply … ” Sanji trails off weakly, his cheeks tinted red. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles next. “That didn’t come out the way I intended.”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind,” Sanji says quickly. “This topic is taking a turn for the depressing, and I imagine I’m just borrowing trouble. I was only stuck on it because Reiju told me she thinks they’ll be concluding the negotiations today, and I suppose I’m a little … nervous about what the future might hold.”

“Not like you to admit to being nervous about anything,” Zoro notes, grinning when Sanji rolls his eyes at him. “Kidding, I’m kidding. It’s a lot to process, I’ll give you that.”

“Mhm, and still a lot to get through before it’s all said and done,” Sanji replies. “Did you know they’re planning a big feast tonight if everything goes as expected? It’ll be your family and mine, all together for the first time before the wedding ceremony. I hope nothing ridiculous happens.”

Zoro pictures the Strawhats arriving en masse on Germa, and winces. “You can hope all you want, Curls.” He says plainly. “I wouldn’t bet on it, though. My crewmates are … not always on their best behavior.”

“My brothers never are,” Sanji admits, chuckling softly. “And Judge is, well,” he grunts. “You’ve met him.”

“I have,” Zoro agrees. “Wasn’t overly impressed if I’m being honest. No offense.”

“None taken,” Sanji says, waving away the half-hearted apology. “I’m sure it’s come to your attention that I’m hardly the man’s favorite child. Hell, him offering up me as part of this deal could probably be considered an insult to you if you squint.”

“Eh, from what I’ve seen of your siblings, I’d take you over any of them any day of the week.” Zoro tells him. “Your brothers are a bunch of stuck up pricks.”

“God, they really are, aren’t they?” Sanji says, and this time when he laughs there’s no humor in it whatsoever. “I guess if there’s one thing to come from all of this, at least I won’t be stuck seeing them all the time anymore. I didn’t miss that.”

“Won’t.” Zoro corrects, and Sanji startles.

“Right, yes.” He says, flapping a hand as if to physically wave his previous words away. “I won’t miss that.”

Zoro watches him for a few seconds longer, but it’s clear from his posture that the other man has no desire to continue their current conversation. Figuring a change of subject is at hand, he offers up the plate he’s yet to finish with. “You want any?”

“I’m good,” Sanji says, waving him off with a tired laugh. “But let me see what else is in there. I suppose I could do with a snack.”

*****

Nami makes them all get dressed up for the scheduled supper with the Vinsmokes, a fact that Zoro finds distinctly unfair. They’re already going to have to jump through similar hoops on the day of the wedding, so why should they have to do it twice?

“Because it’s a formal meal between two great houses.” Nami says, rolling her eyes when he voices that question aloud. “Exactly how many times am I going to have to explain this to you?”

“As many as it takes to get me a different answer.” He mutters, tugging sullenly at the sleeves of the blazer she’s stuffed him into. “I look ridiculous.”

“I think you look very handsome, Zoro.” Robin says from her seat in the corner of the room where she’s been casually observing proceedings.

“No, he looks ridiculous,” Nami confirms. “It’s what happens when you try to cram all this muscle of his into a suit.”

“Does that mean I go can change?” Zoro asks hopefully.

“No,” she replies, ruthlessly crushing his dreams. “It means this is as good as you’re going to get, and we’re going to have to put more effort into dressing you for the wedding.”

Zoro’s resulting groan is as overdramatic as it is heartfelt, and he resigns himself to a miserable evening as he trudges out of the room after the two snickering women. “I hate you both.”

The rest of the crew have already assembled by the time they come out on deck, and they’re the usual mishmash of terrible to okay that tends to happen whenever the Strawhats are forced to dress up. Zoro tells himself that at least he’s not the only one looking uncomfortable in formalwear, but it’s a small comfort as they disembark from the ship.

“Are we sure we shouldn’t leave someone behind to keep an eye on the Sunny ?” Usopp asks. “What if Germa tries something?”

“Germa wants this alliance because they think we can help them in their fight to conquer the North Blue,” Jinbe rumbles. “Sabotaging either our relationship or our crew specifically will make it impossible for us to assist them in that regard.”

“So, I take it you don’t think we have anything to worry about,” Usopp says.

“No, I don’t,” Jinbe confirms. “Although, I imagine we’ll be in for a very long, tedious evening. Vinsmoke Judge is a blowhard.”

Several people let out barks of laughter at this, Zoro among them. No one comments any further, however, because they’re within sight of the palace walls, and it’s only a matter of time before they come across representatives from Germa.

They’re met by Ichiji at the front gates, along with an entire unit of armed guards, all of them standing at attention. It’s a move that’s meant to be as much a show of force as it is one of respect, and it takes everything Zoro has not to roll his eye at the unnecessary display.

“Emperor Strawhat,” Ichiji says, nodding at Luffy where he’s standing at the head of their group. “Welcome back to Germa. My father and the rest of our family are waiting for you in the Great Hall.”

“Sounds good,” Luffy says, a bored inflection in his tone. “Is the food ready yet?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Zoro sees Nami’s hand twitch like she wants to bury her face in it, and he thinks a faint frown line might appear between Ichiji’s eyes. That’s the extent of the displeasure the eldest prince shows, though, and his next move is to gesture for them to follow him into the palace.

Zoro hasn’t had the pleasure of visiting the Great Hall to date, and he quickly realizes that a better term for it would be “Throne Room”. A massive seat on a raised platform dominates one wall, with five smaller chairs clustered together at a lower level.

All of those are empty tonight, and instead Judge is sitting at the head of a large table along with the rest of his children. The chair directly to his right is vacant - presumably for Ichiji to take, and there are just enough chairs left to contain the entirety of the crew.

“Strawhat, welcome!” Judge booms, an ingratiating smile on his face as he sweeps an arm expansively, indicating with the move that Luffy should take the seat at the far end of the table across from him. “Please, you and your people, come join us.”

“Alright, Luffy, you’re in the middle there with Jinbe and I flanking you,” Nami hisses in a hurried rush. “Everyone else sit where you feel like, except you, Zoro. They’ve left the space next to Sanji open, so that’s where you’re going.”

Able to see the logic in this, Zoro doesn’t protest her ordering him around. Rather, he walks over to the indicated seat, dropping down into it only after Luffy’s taken his own.

“Evening, Your Highness,” he murmurs, low enough that no one else should be able to hear him. Not even Niji, who’s seated on Sanji’s other side. “How’s things?”

“Commander,” Sanji murmurs back in a blatant case of ‘turnabout is fair play’. “I’m well, thank you. Yourself?”

“Can’t complain,” Zoro replies, shuffling over slightly as Franky squeezes into the spot to his right. “Of course, that’s mainly because no one will listen if I do.”

Sanji cleverly disguises a snort by taking a sip from his water glass. “My sympathies,” he says dryly. “Your life sounds very difficult.”

Any reply Zoro might make gets lost in the sound of Judge standing up from the table. The king proceeds to make a grandiose speech about welcoming the Strawhats into his home, during which Zoro has to resist the urge to gag out loud as the man drones on and on. He also doubts he’s the only one, since Usopp’s eyes look glazed from where he’s sitting across the table, and even some of the Vinsmokes appear to be checking out.

Finally, Judge concludes his remarks with a clap of his hands, and a veritable army’s worth of servants appear with trays in hand. They all bustle over to the table, where they begin efficiently laying out the plates in front of the guests.

“It won’t be what you’re used to,” Sanji says as Zoro prods at his meal with a fork. “The chef I’ve been using for our lunches was … indisposed tonight.”

Probably because he’s sitting right next to me , Zoro thinks but doesn’t say aloud. Instead, he resigns himself to a shrug, and a quiet “That’s too bad” that no one else picks up on.

There’s minimal conversation as they eat thanks to the way their two groups aren’t intermingled. Due to the uneven numbers of six Vinsmokes and nine Strawhats, Sanji and Zoro are the only two of their combined groups who are sitting next to each other. There’s an empty space between Usopp and Yonji, one that neither the sniper nor the prince appear to be inclined to bridge.

Eventually, the silence must become too much for Judge to bear, because the king clears his throat from his spot at the head of the table. “I was wondering if you had any thoughts as to what would be an appropriate day for the wedding, Strawhat?” He says, his gaze traveling up the length of the table to where Luffy’s happily stripping the meat off a leg of lamb. “Also, since the happy couple are to be living on your ship, I was hoping to have the nuptials take place on ours.”

“That sounds like a fair trade off,” Nami says, her politest mask in place. “What do you think, Luffy?”

“Sure,” Luffy replies, only bothering to swallow before he speaks because Nami glares at him. “But I want Sanji to visit the Sunny on his own before the wedding then. He should get to see where he’s going to be staying.”

“He’ll have the rest of his life to do that,” Judge points out, a slight edge to his voice. “And having to arrange yet another meeting will only further delay when the ceremony can take place.”

Luffy has the nerve to laugh at this, something most of the Vinsmokes fail to appreciate if their expressions are any indication. “The wedding’s not happening tomorrow, that’s too soon, so there’s time to fit it in.”

“What do you think, Sanji?” He asks, switching tracks completely by turning to the blond. “Don’t you want to meet the Sunny before you come stay with us for good? You should make sure you like her before you go through with this.”

“He’s already agreed to go through with it,” Judge says, cutting in without giving Sanji a chance to respond. “I assure you, we have no intention of backing out of the deal, and I have no doubt that Sanji will feel right at home on your ship.”

Luffy frowns, and to anyone who doesn’t know him well it’d look like he was honestly confused, but Zoro can see the wheels turning behind his big, brown eyes. The captain knows exactly what he’s doing, and he’s playing the fool to get what he wants.

“How’s he supposed to know that if he can’t see her?” He asks skeptically. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s alright,” Sanji insists when Judge’s eyes narrow dangerously. “Z - the commander and I, we’ve had plenty of time to chat about what to expect once we leave Germa,” he says. “He’s been kind enough to answer any questions I might have.”

“That’s not the same as experiencing it for yourself,” Luffy notes, “and Zoro’s the only one of us you’ve spent any real time with. Don’t you want to get to know us too?”

Sanji’s eyes flit over the expanse of the table as he clearly wracks his brain to come up with the best way to answer that question. “As the king has already pointed out, I’ll have all kinds of time to familiarize myself with the Thousand Sunny , and the same will obviously apply to the crew.”

“Exactly,” Judge agrees, his tone suggesting that the matter is closed. “Under the circumstances, I think that will be entirely sufficient.”

“Well, I don’t.” Luffy says, reclining back in his seat with a huff. “Zoro says he can fight and he likes him fine, which are both good signs, but I want everyone else to meet him too. Properly,” he adds, when Judge appears to be about to bring up the fact that they’re all here tonight. 

“That wasn’t part of the arrangement,” Reiju says, entering the conversation when words fail her father. “Nothing like that was ever discussed during the negotiations.”

“Maybe not,” Luffy says, “but we’re discussing it now.”

“Hmm,” Reiju says, nodding at Judge. “I don’t see what harm it could do,” she says after a moment’s pause, “and I suppose some of us could go along as additional representatives.”

“No.” Luffy says flatly, exactly as Zoro had anticipated based on his posture. “Just Sanji. Unless he wants to bring someone with him, I guess.”

“I - ” Now looking thoroughly confused, Sanji glances back and forth between Luffy and Judge, clearly trying to gauge what the correct reaction is here. “I’m fine either way?”

“There you go then!” Luffy says with an affable nod and a bright grin thrown in Judge’s direction. “He can come tomorrow while your people are setting up all the wedding stuff.”

“Very well,” Judge says tersely. “Although I maintain this is an entirely unnecessary event, I am of course willing to go along with it as a show of good faith.”

“Sweet,” Luffy says happily. “Now is there any more meat?”

*****

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Reiju asks, and not for the first time either. “I don’t mind, I promise.”

Busy giving his appearance one last check over in the mirror, Sanji brushes a few stray strands of hair into place and straightens. “I got the feeling based on the way Strawhat was talking last night that he really doesn’t want anyone else tagging along,” he says, turning away from the vanity. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“They’re pirates, and there’s no real reason for Strawhat to have demanded this meeting,” she says acerbically. “I don’t like not knowing what his motivations are.”

“Well, I don’t particularly like it either,” Sanji admits, “but seeing as I’m going to be spending the rest of my days in the midst of these people, I don’t see how having that start one day earlier is going to matter. It’s not like you’ll be around to help me once the ceremony is over.”

“And I don’t much care for that either,” she retorts. “Yet this is extremely unusual, and, try as I might, I can’t come up for a reason as to why Strawhat would want it. It brings no added benefit to the alliance, especially since the terms of same have been concluded.”

“You’re not saying anything I haven’t already told myself, Reiju.” Sanji says, lighting up a cigarette to calm his nerves as they exit his room together. “Having said that, what’s done is done, and at this point you’re more use to me if you stick around here and try to keep the wedding preparations from getting too over the top.”

“It is a royal wedding,” she says a little snidely. “I’m afraid pomp and circumstance go hand in hand with that.”

“Yes, but as someone who’s met my husband-to-be, I’d appreciate it if you could keep the decorations to something he won’t actively roll his eye at. Don’t worry, I’m aware that’s a lot to ask.”

“And then some,” she murmurs. “Out of curiosity, did he give you any indication that Strawhat was going to ask for this … I don’t even know what to call it, if I’m being honest. Tour, perhaps?”

“He didn’t,” Sanji admits, puffing out a cloud of smoke. “Truth be told, I don’t think he knew about it. He doesn’t have much of a poker face, or rather he never seems to bother, and I think he’d have just come right out and said it if he knew this was coming.”

“I have no idea what to make of that,” Reiju says, her face crinkling hilariously in annoyance. “Honestly, their lack of predictability makes the Strawhats a strategist’s nightmare.”

“A fact that I suspect they’d accept with pride,” Sanji tells her. “Or at least Zoro definitely would. I can’t much speak for the others yet.”

“Zoro, hmm?” Reiju says. “Careful, Sanji. I’ve already warned you about letting him pull the wool over your eyes. Don’t let him lure you into a false sense of security.”

“I won’t,” Sanji says with a casual flick of the hand holding his cigarette. “Trust me, I know better than to get my hopes up here.”

*****

He and Reiju part ways at the top of the master staircase - her to continue on to wherever the wedding preparations are being set up, and him to exit the palace entirely. None of the guards pay him any mind as he passes them by, and he takes a deep breath when he steps out into the open air.

The Strawhats’ ship is moored at the farthest available dock. Judge had ordered this under the guise of respecting their privacy during their time with Germa, but Sanji’s willing to bet that there’d been an underlying act of snobbery also at play.

Still, that’s not for him to point out, and he picks his way carefully down to the docks, the heels of his dress shoes clicking faintly as he steps from the stone pathway to the wooden boards. The Thousand Sunny ’s lion figurehead smiles down at him as he approaches, and he finds himself coming to a halt, not sure what to make of it.

“She won’t bite,” a voice says without warning, and Sanji startles when a shadow detaches itself from the hull of the ship and starts moving towards him.

“What are you doing down here?” He asks as Zoro draws nearer. “Don’t tell me you were waiting for me?”

“Figured it was only fair since you’ve never been aboard, and you really don’t know the rest of the crew,” Zoro says. “Odds are about fifty/fifty that anyone else we sent down would have you heading for the hills without thinking twice.”

“Please,” Sanji scoffs. “If you haven’t managed to run me off over the past few weeks, I highly doubt anything could. Your manners are atrocious, and by atrocious, I mean non-existent.”

“You say the sweetest things, Curls.” Zoro replies with a grin, followed by him gesturing for Sanji to fall into step beside him. “C’mon. Come meet the others.”

Someone’s had the foresight to toss a rope ladder down prior to their arrival, and Zoro wastes no time in scaling it upwards. Seeing no other option, Sanji quickly scrambles after him, eventually coming to a halt when he reaches the white railing that seems to line most of the ship.

“Oi!” Zoro barks as Sanji slides over said railing and is surprised to find himself landing on a patch of luscious green grass that covers a large portion of the main deck. “There’s no way you idiots aren’t all lurking around somewhere, so get your asses out here.”

A door opens in the distance, and the next thing Sanji knows, Nami’s appearing at the top of a nearby set of stairs that she promptly begins to descend. “For the record,” she says, her dark eyes narrowing at Zoro, “ some of us have been doing actual work this afternoon. Not napping in the shade under the guise of waiting for poor Sanji to get here.”

“Welcome aboard, though.” She’s quick to add with a much more pleasant look thrown Sanji’s way. “I know Luffy kind of dropped this whole thing on everyone cold turkey, but we’re glad you could make it.”

“It’s my pleasure, my dear.” Sanji promises, bowing low over her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it when she offers it out. “Thank you very much for the invite.”

“Hmm,” she replies, her eyes sparkling. “You’re much more polite than Zoro’s given us reason to believe. Not that that shocks me,” she says while Sanji shoots a dirty look the swordsman’s way. “He’s always had a knack for bringing out the worst in people.”

“He’s been fine,” Sanji’s quick to say, remembering Reiju’s words about not getting too cocky here. “I’ve quite enjoyed the time we’ve spent together.”

Nami gives him a funny look. “You know I’m actually inclined to believe that? I suspect it’s going to make things interesting moving forward.”

“If you say so,” Sanji says, not really sure how she wants him to respond. “Anyway, I kind of got the impression that your captain wanted to give me a tour of the ship? Unless I’ve got that wrong, in which case just let me know why I’m here and we can get down to it.”

“Okay that part we’re going to have to work on,” Nami says, sharing a look with Zoro. “But not today,” she notes briskly. “You’re right about the tour, and we’d really like you to stay for a while and get to know the crew a bit. You don’t have any other plans today, do you?”

“I’m at your disposal,” Sanji assures her.

“Great,” she replies with a grin. “Obviously you can see the helm and the main deck from here, but I figured we’d go all the way down to the hold and then make our way to the top. How does that sound?”

“Fine to me.” Sanji says, which is how he suddenly finds himself being dragged along for a whirlwind tour of the Thousand Sunny .

He’s heard of the ship of course, not to mention seen pictures of her in the newsreels. The capabilities she’d showcased in her maiden voyage out of Water 7 had been briefly been the talk of Germa when Judge had postulated whether or not he could replicate the technology, but that’s nothing compared to seeing her in person.

As is to be expected, a large portion of the hold is dedicated to storage space. Staple goods, spare materials, and other items are located down below, each of them meticulously categorized in their respective places. What he doesn’t expect are the mechanics he can’t fathom the purposes for, and the multiple smaller vessels used for exploring various types of terrain.

“That’s the Mini-Merry.” A new voice says while Sanji’s busy examining a compact boat that has a happy looking sheep at its prow, and when he turns it’s to find the sniper Usopp coming to a stop next to him. “Franky designed her, the same way he did the Sunny and everything else down here, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t especially fond of her.”

Blinking, Sanji glances down at the little boat again, and then back to the newcomer. “Your crew’s first ship was called Merry, wasn’t it?”

The smile Usopp gives him in return is a little bit pinched, but seems to be genuine all the same. “Yeah,” he confirms. “She was a gift from a friend back in Syrup Village where I’m from. We lost her in Enies Lobby.”

“Syrup?” Sanji echoes weakly, feeling a hollow pain in his chest at the name. He’d forgotten, perhaps intentionally so, that the Strawhats initially hailed from the East Blue. He knows Syrup Village, one of its main exports had been peppers that Zeff had often sourced for the Baratie .

“Mhm,” Usopp replies, thankfully oblivious to Sanji’s internal turmoil. “It’s a little blink and you miss it place back East,” he says with a shrug. “Not unlike Shimotsuki and Cocoyasi.”

“Watch it, longnose.” Zoro grumbles, while Nami makes an unimpressed face next to him. “Shimotsuki’s nothing to scoff at.”

Which likely means that’s his hometown and Cocoyasi is Nami’s. Absently, Sanji wonders if the mikan trees he’d seen up above were transplants from the navigator’s village, well aware of that export too.

“Yeah, yeah,” Usopp’s muttering now. “If you guys are done in here, though, you may as well show him the workshops. Franky’s helping Robin since it’s her turn to cook, but I’ve tidied up as best as I could.”

“Does that mean you can actually see the floor for once?” Nami asks dryly. “Franky and Usopp both keep workshops down here,” she adds for Sanji’s benefit, “ and they both thrive on chaos. Both rooms usually look like a matching set of bombs went off.”

“Hey, the only people who need to be able to find stuff in there are the two of us, and we always know where everything is,” Usopp insists, leading them along down a short hallway. “Don’t mock it until you’ve tried it.”

“I’ll stick to my well organized study,” Nami replies. “And we both know how Zoro’s liable to react if you put one barbell out of place in the crow’s nest.”

“I will kill you stone dead,” Zoro promises, his words making Usopp shudder. “Touch my training gear and they will never find your body.”

“Trust me, big guy, I’ve got better things to do with my time.”

Usopp then gives them a quick tour of the workshops that sit across the hall from each other. It’s easy to tell which belongs to who, but Nami’s likewise not wrong in her assessment of their setup. Sanji silently resolves never to touch anything down here, lest he inadvertently set off a chain reaction that sinks the ship.

Once they climb out of the hold, Nami points out the locations of the main washroom and a slightly smaller one that doesn’t have quite as much expansive plumbing. Sanji blinks in surprise at the luxurious tub and shower in the larger one, not having expected something so extravagant for a pirate ship.

“Franky wanted everything to be the best it could be,” Zoro says when he mentions as much. “The Sunny ’s meant to be the ship that finds the One Piece, so he didn’t cut any corners in designing her.”

“Even the bunk rooms are as spacious as he could make them,” Nami pipes up. “That’s the men’s over there, and I’ve got the women’s all to myself ever since Franky and Robin started sharing.”

“Sharing where?” Sanji asks, confused. “Is she in the men’s bunk too?”

“Nah,” Zoro replies with a shrug. “ Sunny was built with private cabins for the captain and first mate. They’ve got Luffy’s since he never uses it. He’s in with the rest of us.”

“Meaning you don’t use yours either,” Sanji realizes. “Seeing as you’re the first mate and all.”

“Uh, no,” Zoro admits, caught out. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept in it.”

“Thriller Bark,” Nami says. “Chopper put you in there to recuperate after he moved you out of the infirmary. He figured you’d be better off having more space.”

“Right.”

The two of them fall silent for a moment, until Nami ultimately waves a hand dismissively. “We can talk more about sleeping arrangements after the wedding,” she decides. “Now, speaking of Chopper, why don’t we hit up the infirmary as our next stop?”

They’ve lost Usopp somewhere along the way, and although Dr. Chopper greets them happily when they poke their heads into his workspace, he opts not to follow them any further. Instead, he promises to see them at dinner, and makes a small joke about hoping Sanji doesn’t spend as much time in his office as some of the others do.

“He means Zoro,” Nami says as they exit using a different door than the one they’d come in through. “We’ve all picked up our fair share of cuts and bruises over the years, but sometimes the infirmary feels like it’s Zoro’s second home.”

“It’s not that bad.” Zoro whines, but Sanji loses the thread of anything else he might say as he finds himself standing in a cosy looking lounge area that’s dominated by a massive aquarium on most sides.

“That’s beautiful.” He says before he can help it, and a quiet chuckle alerts him to the fact that he’s once again missed the arrival of another Strawhat.

“It is, isn’t it?” Says the First Son of the Sea as he slowly stands up from the meditation pose he’d been sitting in prior to being interrupted. “It almost reminds me of home at times,” he adds as he strides over to them. “It’s good to see you again, Sanji. Welcome aboard the Thousand Sunny .”

“Thanks,” Sanji says absently, his attention caught by the various species of fish that are swimming around the tank. “Is this just decorative, or do you use it as food stock?”

“The latter,” Nami says. “I guess it’s a bit harsh in a way, but it guarantees that we almost always have fresh fish at hand, which is nothing to sneeze at when you can only keep products on ice for so long.”

“No, it makes perfect sense,” Sanji assures her. “Honestly, it’s an elegant solution to a legitimate potential problem.”

“You have no idea how legitimate,” Zoro mutters. “I was serious when I told you about Luffy’s appetite.”

“And on that note,” Nami says with a clap of her hands. “The galley’s right through here.”

Sanji tells himself not to get his hopes up - that if the crew don’t have a dedicated cook there’s likely no one who’s maintaining the kitchen to the level he’d dream of - and damned near chokes when he catches sight of the place.

The first word that comes to mind is pristine . Despite the fact that the room already contains three individuals - Nico Robin where she’s working at the countertop, Strawhat where he’s trying to steal whatever she’s making, and Franky who’s impeding the latter - the place is immaculate, with top notch appliances and cookware stored as far as the eye can see.

“It’s … nice,” he says weakly, which has the effect of catching Strawhat’s attention.

“Hey, you’re here!” He exclaims, abandoning his wrestling match with the much larger cyborg in favor of bounding over to the doorway. “Why didn’t anybody tell me?”

“I tried,” Zoro says, “but like usual you had food on the brain.”

“It’s not my fault,” Strawhat protests. “I only had a small lunch because we’re doing supper for Sanji, and it’s taking forever.”

“It is barely three o’clock in the afternoon, Luffy.” Robin says as she conjures up a few extra hands to help her chop some ingredients. “That’s too early for supper, which as of right now is scheduled to start exactly on time.”

“Provided you stop distracting us, Cap.” Franky warns ominously. “Otherwise, no promises.”

Strawhat lets out a low whine of discontent, and Nami reaches out to snag him by the collar. “Come on,” she says, giving him a slight shake. “We’ve been showing Sanji around and still have a few stops to make. You can help with that.”

“Fine,” Strawhat huffs. “Did you show him my favorite seat yet? That’s the best spot on the ship!”

“He means the figurehead,” Zoro says as the four of them duck back out of the galley and emerge on a landing that looks down over the lawn. “He likes to get up there and nap.”

“As opposed to you, who naps literally anywhere he can,” Nami says, prodding the captain on ahead of her. “Fair warning, Sanji, tripping over Zoro is a common pastime around here because he’s capable of falling asleep wherever he feels like. And he does .”

“S’practical,” Zoro says, sounding sulky. “Being able to rest at a moment’s notice is important.”

“Yes, well in your case I still think we should have Chopper test you for narcolepsy, but whatever. Onto the gardens!”

The rest of the tour concludes in short order, although they skip the crow’s nest and the private quarters near the front of the ship for the time being. Not long after that, Franky calls for people to help him set up furniture on the lawn, an act that sees the rest of the crew crawl out of their various locations.

“We’re doing pot luck style since we weren’t sure what you liked,” Franky tells him almost apologetically as he passes by him holding a couple of chairs. “Except Zoro mentioned spicy seafood pasta, so there’s some of that.”

“It’s not a dish I’ve made before, however.” Robin adds, appearing at her partner’s elbow as if by magic. “You therefore have my apologies in advance if we poison you. It’s entirely accidental, I promise.”

“Because that’s not disturbing at all,” Usopp grumbles as he trundles past with some blankets for people to spread out on. “Hey, Chopper, it sounds like you might want to have the infirmary on standby in case the night goes sour.”

“I always do!”

The food is brought out not long after that, and while it’s not the most highbrow table he’s ever seen, it’s a hearty meal containing multiple options. Sanji fills a plate after he’s waved towards the table, and finds himself sitting down next to Zoro shortly thereafter. 

“Cheers,” the swordsman says, saluting him with a bottle of sake. “Hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will,” Sanji says, taking a bite of a buttered roll once he’s comfortably settled. “Really, this is much more than I was expecting. You didn’t all have to go to these lengths just for me.”

“Pffft,” Strawhat mumbles around a mouthful of food. Sanji doesn’t think he’s imagining that the younger man’s table manners are even less restrained than they’d been in Germa. “We wanted to meet you, the real you, before everything changes. It’s not fair that only Zoro’s gotten to spend any time with you.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was an issue.” Sanji says, unsure of how he’s supposed to take that. “I’d have gladly made myself available if I’d known.”

“No one’s blaming you .” Strawhat says, but when it looks like he wants to continue, he’s stopped by Nami’s hand on his arm. “Yeah, yeah, I know . Anyway, Sanji, why don’t you tell us about yourself? We only really know from Zoro that you’re really strong, you smoke, and you don’t like when people waste food.”

“That’s not true,” Zoro says while Sanji’s trying to figure out a response to this. “I also told you he’s a temperamental bastard.”

“Excuse me?” Sanji shrills. “I most certainly am not , you’re just a mannerless oaf who’s deserved it every time I’ve yelled at you.”

He realizes too late that this probably wasn’t the best reaction he could’ve made, but not a single one of the pirates looks put out by it. In fact, more than one of them are nodding sagely, and Strawhat cackles in delight.

“He is terrible, isn’t he?” Nami says with a smirk. “I mean, he’s not completely useless, I suppose, especially in a fight or if you need some math done really quickly. Other than that, he doesn’t really have much to offer.”

“Math?” Sanji echoes, and Zoro shrugs when he glances at him.

“I’m good with numbers,” he says. “The witch likes to have me double check stuff for her when she’s budgeting for supplies and whatnot.”

“Much though it pains me to admit it, I’ve never seen him make a mistake,” Nami says. “Granted, he makes up for that in a bunch of other ways, but what can you do?”

“I am sitting right here, remember?”

“Trust me, you’re hard to miss.”

“Oi, Sanji,” Strawhat says, waving to get his attention. “Don’t worry about them, they’re always like that. I meant what I said earlier, what do you like to do?”

“Oh, um, I guess I don’t really know?” Sanji lies. “Training and keeping in shape are a huge part of life in Germa, so that’s definitely a pretty common pastime.”

“He likes to swim,” Zoro announces suddenly. “And the ocean in general.”

“How did you figure that out?” Sanji asks, blinking. “I don’t think I ever mentioned it.”

In answer, Zoro points at his right eye. “I do still have one of these left,” he says cheekily. “So it wasn’t hard.”

“Yes, well,” Sanji shifts awkwardly, not sure how he feels about being read like that. “I’ve spent my whole life at sea, I suppose it was inevitable under the circumstances.”

“Do you like music?” Strawhat asks apropos of nothing. “You haven’t heard Brook play yet, have you?”

“I - no?” Sanji says, confused as he glances at arguably the Strawhats’ most unusual looking member. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.”

“How convenient then that I was practicing some new work while I was on watch,” the skeleton says with an echoy laugh. “I’ll have to share it with everyone once we’re done eating.”

His comment is met with approving noise from most of his crew mates, and Sanji lets out a relieved breath when it seems like they’re done asking him questions for the time being. He hasn’t made up his mind yet what he wants to do about the whole cooking situation since he’s not sure if that’d be considered overstepping on his part, but when you get down to it, any discussion of how he likes to spend his time is bound to get into it if it goes on for too long.

Supper continues on, and enough time passes that it slowly starts to get dark. Jinbe gets up to go light the lamps that line the Sunny ’s deck, his actions accompanied by soft strains of music as Brook pulls out his violin.

A few of the crew break into an impromptu dance, completely indifferent to the stranger in their midst, and the sound of laughter soon joins the music. As Sanji watches, Usopp spins Chopper in a wide circle, the motion more exuberant than he means for it to be when he accidentally sends the little reindeer tumbling across the lawn.

“Careful,” Zoro says, albeit without any real sign of frustration. Instead, he reaches out to stop Chopper’s roll, plucking the giggling doctor out of thin air and letting him clamber up onto his shoulders. “If you fall overboard, that devil fruit of yours is going to be a problem.”

“If he falls overboard, you’re just going to go in after him like you always do,” Strawhat laughs, turning to Sanji with a wink. “Zoro’s pulled every last one of us out of the water since we’ve sailed together, even Robin a couple of times.”

“Is that so?” Sanji asks, glancing over at Zoro, who looks completely indifferent to the fact that Chopper’s still using him as a seat. “What an unexpectedly noble houseplant he is.”

Strawhat nearly falls over backwards, he laughs so hard at this, and the next thing Sanji knows, an unnaturally long arm is slapping him on the back while the pirate cackles. “You’re funny,” he says, dashing tears of mirth from his eyes. “I knew you would be.”

“That makes you the first then,” Sanji says. “Because I don’t think anyone’s ever told me that before.”

“Their loss,” Strawhat says, sobering slightly. “But I guess we’ll all have plenty of time to get to know you better, and the other way around too. Which reminds me, what do you think of the Sunny ?”

“She’s beautiful,” Sanji says, and in that he’s being completely honest. “I’ve never seen a ship like her.”

“Damn right, you haven’t,” Franky says proudly. He’s somehow pulled a guitar from somewhere, and begins playing a tune that in no way matches the one currently emanating from Brook’s violin. “And you never will again. The Sunny ’s one of a kind.”

“Absolutely,” Sanji agrees. “And I appreciate the tour before … everything. It’s nice to have an idea of what to expect.”

“We’re definitely trying,” Strawhat agrees. “Hey, if you could ask absolutely anything about us, the Sunny , our adventures, anything - what would it be?”

Sanji takes a moment to consider this. There’s a little voice in the back of his head that sounds like Reiju, and it’s telling him to tread carefully. Despite that, he doesn’t think Strawhat’s offer is a trap, so he lifts his head and asks, “How did you and Zoro meet?”

“Damnit, Curls.” Zoro groans while Strawhat laughs for an incalculable time tonight. “That’s such a waste of a question.”

“No no, it’s a great question!” Strawhat insists, slapping his own leg in glee. “I love telling this story almost as much as Zoro hates it.”

“I went looking for him,” he says then, barely pausing for breath as he launches into his tale. “I’d just left Goa about a week beforehand, and I knew I needed to get myself a proper ship and a crew before heading to the Grand Line. I read about Zoro in the papers, and figured he sounded like the right guy for the job.”

“The Demon of the East Blue,” Sanji quotes, remembering the way the name had started appearing in the headlines not long before Judge and Germa had come storming back into his life. “He was the top bounty hunter in the area, right?”

“He was,” Strawhat confirms, “but he was also in troubllleee.”

“I was not,” Zoro denies, looking offended at the insinuation. “You know full well I let those dumbass marines bring me in.”

“Right,” Strawhat says with a nod. “He was a prisoner at the marine base in Shells Town because he got into it with the commanding officer’s son.”

“Little prick had it coming,” Zoro interjects. “It served him right for going around like he owned the place, and I only hit him the once.”

“Because that was bound to go over well with a marine commander’s son,” Sanji says, rolling his eyes. He’s familiar with Shells Town too, and if the rumours about Ax-Hand Morgan were even close to the truth, Zoro had been nothing short of insane in picking a fight with the man that early in his career.

“Yeah, it was so dumb of him,” Strawhat snickers. “The ax guy was pissed, and he was going to take it out on the whole town, so Zoro cut a deal with him. He let the marines tie him up outside of their base, and they agreed that if he survived out there for thirty days without food or water then they’d let him go.”

“ … what?” Sanji rasps. Feeling all the color drain from his face, he stares at Zoro. “You did what ?”

“I did what I had to do.” Zoro replies, shifting uncomfortably. “I got in his way when he was trying to hurt this little kid - ”

“Rika,” Strawhat supplies helpfully.

“Right, and he was going to start with her and her mom if I didn’t go for it.” Zoro shrugs. “Wasn’t much of a choice in the end.”

“ Anyway ,” Strawhat says, moving to fill the silence that’s fallen across the lawn. “He’d been out there for, what, three weeks by the time I showed up?”

“About that, yeah.” Zoro says. 

“That’s what I thought. So, they had him tied to a bunch of posts in the middle of the yard, kind of like a scarecrow,” Strawhat says, miming the position for his audience’s benefit. “He was all sunburnt and he smelled so bad , but he didn’t want to come with me at first because he still had like ten days to go.”

“And I didn’t want to be a pirate,” Zoro says with a laugh. “Pretty ironic in hindsight.”

“You were so stubborn,” Strawhat says, shaking his head. “I should’ve just busted you out anyway, but then Rika showed up with those rice balls for you and then the marines showed up too, right when we were all standing there.”

“Rika blamed herself for Zoro getting in trouble, so she’d made him food to keep him going.” He explains. “Except the marines took it from her, and the commander’s son stomped it all into the ground.”

“Bastard,” Sanji says. “Not only did he take food from a starving man, but then he wasted it too.”

“Sort of,” Strawhat replies. “He actually went to eat them himself first, but it turned out Rika’d made them using sugar instead of salt, so they were really bad on top of everything else.”

“They were so bad,” Zoro agrees, half laughing. “I honestly can’t remember the last time I tasted something so terrible.”

“Wait,” Sanji frowns at him. “I thought the marines threw them on the ground and destroyed them?”

“And then he ate them anyway!” Strawhat crows, flinging his arms into the air as he laughs. “He made me pick them up for him after everyone else was gone, and he ate the whole thing!”

“I hadn’t eaten for three weeks ,” Zoro hisses as the rest of the crew join in on their captain’s laughter. “I’d have been an idiot if I’d passed up food at that point, no matter how awful.”

“Maybe,” Strawhat says, still snickering. “But you didn’t have to do what you did next.”

“What’d he do?” Sanji demands, curiosity getting the better of him, especially when he sees a blush start spreading across the bridge of Zoro’s nose, visible even in the lantern light. “Come on, Mossball. What’d you do?”

“Nothin’,” Zoro mutters, hunching forward and then immediately having to adjust his position when the movement causes Chopper to slip.

“The marines had already chased Rika out of the yard at that point,” Strawhat says, now speaking in a conspiratorial whisper. “He told me to tell her the food was delicious.”

“Alright, alright, it’s not that big a deal!” Zoro says, his voice carrying over the teasing catcalls and whistles his crew mates start throwing his way. “I’m a pirate, not a monster . Honestly, fuck off, all of you. You’ve all heard this story before.”

“Sanji hasn’t!” Someone in the crowd points out.

“ Fine ,” Zoro huffs. “So that’s the long and short of it, Curls. The marines tried to have me executed a few hours later, and I signed on with Luffy because at that point I didn’t have a better option.”

“And you’ve never regretted it,” Strawhat says, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back with a self satisfied air. “You were my first, and you’ve never looked back.”

Grinning faintly in acknowledgement, Zoro salutes him with his latest sake bottle. “That I haven’t, Captain.” He agrees. “Not a single fuckin’ time.”

*****

“I should probably be getting back.”

Sanji’s announcement is met with a series of half-hearted protests, as well as a sleepy murmur from Chopper where he’s long since passed out in Zoro’s lap. If Zoro’s being honest, he’s got no idea what time it is now, other than late.

“Hold on, I’ll walk you out.” He hears himself say, pausing only long enough to let Robin come and take Chopper from him before he climbs to his feet.

Sanji watches the exchange with a funny look on his face, and gives Zoro a lopsided smile. “You don’t have to,” he assures him. “I’m perfectly capable of getting back on my own.”

“Nah, s’fine.” Zoro tells him. “I’m not tired yet anyway.”

“And he wants an excuse to avoid helping with the clean up.” Usopp says from where he too is now back upright. “Anything to get out of doing a little work, right, Zoro?”

“You know it,” Zoro chirps back, smirking when Usopp rolls his eyes at him. “C’mon, Curls.” He says, grabbing Sanji by the elbow and tugging him towards the ladder. “Let’s get out of here before he rats us out to Nami.”

“Pfft, Sanji doesn’t have to worry,” Usopp calls after them, “but you’re busted, sword boy.”

“Something tells me that’s a regular occurance for you,” Sanji mumbles around a yawn. “Like, very regular.”

“You noticed, did you?” Zoro asks with a laugh. Grabbing at the ladder, he throws one leg over the railing, briefly steadying himself before he starts his descent ahead of Sanji’s. “Pretty sure taking the piss out of me was half the reason Luffy arranged this little get together.”

Sanji’s quiet as he climbs down the ladder, but once they’re both safely on the dock he turns to look at Zoro with a complicated expression on his face. “Tonight wasn’t what I was expecting,” he says seriously. “Granted, if I’m being honest, I have no idea what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this.”

“Welcome to life with the Strawhat Pirates,” Zoro replies. “Your guess is as good as anyone’s for what we’re going to do at any given moment, and I promise you, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

“I’m not sure if I should feel comforted or alarmed to hear you say that,” Sanji says as they make their way down along the wharf.

“Eh, probably both,” Zoro says, laughing slightly when Sanji rolls his eyes. “Look at it this way, at least you’ll never be bored.”

“Mhm.” Coming to a halt at the spot where the dock ends and the path up to the castle begins, he sighs. “I can take it from here, Moss. There’s no sense in you having to subject yourself to my family again any sooner than you have to.”

Zoro thinks about arguing with him, but something in the other man’s tone holds him back. “If you’re sure,” he says instead, unsurprised when Sanji nods.

“I’m sure.” Sanji says, and then he startles Zoro by turning to face him directly. “You know, the next time we see each other is probably going to be at the end of an aisle.”

“ … yeah.” Zoro agrees, his words suddenly catching in his throat. “Guess so.”

“Mm.” Giving his head a little shake, Sanji squares his shoulders resolutely. “I know you kind of got dragged into this against your will,” he says quietly, “but I meant what I said the first time we spoke. I’m willing to make the best of the situation, I promise.”

“Curls - ” Words fail him, causing Zoro to stall out mid-sentence before he takes a deep breath and forges ahead. “Look, I can’t get into the details right now, but it’s not what you think, okay? It’s not at all what you think.”

“I have absolutely no idea what that means,” Sanji says. “If this is your attempt at calming some pre-wedding jitters, you should know you’re doing a terrible job at it.”

“Trust me, I’m aware,” Zoro sighs. “Just - just try not to stress, alright? Everything’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.”

“You know I almost believe that?” Sanji says weakly. “Don’t tell Reiju, though, she’ll light into me for being a naive idiot.”

“Reiju doesn’t know anything about us,” Zoro says. “And Judge isn’t going to know what hit him.”

“Careful, Marimo,” Sanji says in a voice that comes out in more of a rasp. “That sounds an awful lot like you’re planning to double cross my dear old sperm donor.”

“Of course not,” Zoro says, deciding belatedly that he better claw this conversation back before he gives the game away and gets them all in trouble. “I just meant - if you’re worried about what your life is going to be like on the Sunny - don’t. No one’s going to make you do anything you’re not interested in.”

“Aside from the whole marriage thing,” he adds ashamedly. “I get that that’s maybe not something you’re as totally onboard with as you keep pretending.”

“It … doesn’t seem to be shaping up quite as poorly as I initially feared,” Sanji says slowly. “I don’t know if I’ve said it yet, but you’re nothing like what I expected.”

“Back at you.” Zoro replies, his shoulders sagging with relief as a previously unknown kind of tension seeps out of them. “So, why don’t we just agree to get this next part over with, and we can talk again after the wedding?”

Sanji doesn’t answer him right away, his face screwing up the way it does when he’s deep in thought, but eventually he nods. “Alright, Mossball,” he says. “After the wedding it is. Don’t let me down.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Zoro says, and if he stays where he is as Sanji leaves, watching the other man until he’s out of sight, no one needs to know that but him.

*****

“You know,” Nami says thoughtfully, her lips pursed as she tilts her head from side to side in order to better examine him, “I was on the fence at first, but you were right, Robin. This was a much better idea than sticking him in another suit.”

“I agree,” Robin says, mirroring Nami’s movements with her own head. “Not only does it seem more natural on him, it’s only practical given the level of fighting we should be able to expect. You were also smart to insist that he be able to wear his swords during the ceremony.”

“Would you two please stop talking about me like I’m not six inches away from you?” Zoro implores. “You’re getting on my nerves.”

“Oh well excuse us for trying to make sure you look good on the most important day of your life,” Nami says snidely. “We can always go the tuxedo route if you’d prefer. Franky’s whipped up a high powered sewing machine just for the occasion.”

“I’m good, thanks.” Zoro says quickly.

“Funny, I rather thought you would be.” Nami says, while Robin doesn’t even bother hiding her resulting smile behind a hand. “Alright then, in that case you’re as good as you’re going to get, so let’s get this show on the road.”

Taking that as his cue to leave, Zoro exits the woman’s bunkroom as fast as he reasonably can. He hears Nami and Robin moving along behind him, and comes out on the deck to find most of the crew already assembled.

Most, but not all, that is.

“Where’s Luffy?” Nami barks, noticing as quickly as Zoro has that their captain appears to be missing. “I swear to god, if he’s still off sulking, he’s going to get my fist upside his head.”

“Then you better start throwing punches,” Usopp says tiredly. “Because, mutiny aside, that’s exactly what he’s doing.”

“Not today, he isn’t.” Nami says firmly. “Jinbe, go fish him out, will you? Try reminding him, yet again , that the wedding’s all for show, so it’s okay if he doesn’t get to officiate it.”

“I’ll try,” Jinbe rumbles, carefully stepping past her, “but I’m making no promises.”

“Whatever,” Nami grunts. “Bribe him with food if you have to, just get him moving. Honestly,” she then asks the world at large, “is there some unwritten rule that says our plans can never go off without a hitch?”

Usopp gives her a flat look. “What do you think?”

Tuning out their inevitable bickering, Zoro wanders over to the railing, figuring he may as well take advantage of being given a moment to clear his head. He lets his hands settle over the neatly polished wood, taking a deep breath as he gazes over at where the Germa ship is waiting for them.

“Are you okay, Zoro?” Chopper asks, toddling over to stand next to him. “You sound stressed.”

“Hmm? Nah, I’m fine,” Zoro says, twisting to give the reindeer the most reassuring smile he can muster. “Just anxious to get the whole thing going.”

“Me too,” Chopper agrees. “I hope the plan works, and that Sanji’s interested in staying with us. I thought he seemed to fit in really well when he was here the other night.”

“He did, didn’t he?” Zoro muses. “I thought so too.”

Anything Chopper might say in response to this is drowned out by the sound of Jinbe returning, now with a disgruntled looking Luffy thrown over his shoulder. 

“One Emperor as requested.” Jinbe says with a laugh, moving his arm in a motion that allows Luffy to slide down to the ground. “I think that’s everybody now.”

“Good,” Nami says, jabbing a finger in Luffy’s direction when he opens his mouth to no doubt complain again. “Let’s get moving then. The sooner we get this started, the sooner we can get it over with.”

A number of heads nod in agreement, and the nine of them climb down off of the Sunny . They move as one along the docks and over the path that will take them to the castle, where they’re inevitably met by a number of guards decked out in fancy livery who’ve been stationed there to direct them on where to go.

 “The ceremony is being held in the center of the palace gardens,” one of them murmurs by way of explanation. “The prince requested it.”

Zoro doesn’t know what surprises him more, the fact that Sanji had picked this specific location, or that Judge had allowed him the choice. He tries not to read too much into the former, but it gets harder and harder when a familiar looking fountain swims into view.

A handful of chairs have been secured on either side, only a few of them necessary given the meager number of guests who are present. Zoro fails to register much about the decor beyond that, however, thanks to the way his attention is promptly snagged by Sanji, who looks resplendent in a white ensemble that compliments his own black one.

“ Fuck me ,” he hears himself rasp, coming to a halt on the outskirts of the arrangement. Most of the crew continue past him towards their seats, except for Nami, who stops to give him a curious look.

“Getting cold feet?” She asks, her voice pitched in such a way that he only partly thinks she’s joking. 

“Not … exactly,” he says stiffly, keeping his own voice low so as to not be overheard. “Kinda getting worried that I half wish this was real, though.”

“No shit,” she replies, surprising him with a laugh. “You’ve been heading that way since day one. Now, come on,” she adds, curling a hand around his arm and leading him forward. “Let’s go see if we can’t help fantasy become reality.”

“ Witch, ” Zoro mutters, unable to think of a better response.

“I know, big guy. I know.”

She deposits him at the end of the aisle, where Sanji is standing with Reiju. The two women eye each other for a moment, like they’re sizing each other up, and then nod decisively at the exact same time.

“Your Highness,” Nami says primly.

“Cat Burglar,” Reiju counters.

Neither of them says anything further, and then they both turn to leave, each of them going to join their respective families.

“Well, that was weird.” Zoro notes, watching them go.

“Not to mention a little ominous,” Sanji agrees, his eyes flicking over Zoro’s body as if seeing him for the very first time. “I’m impressed, Marimo. You look very nice.”

“So do you,” Zoro says, perhaps a little too earnestly if the way Sanji’s eyes widen slightly is anything to go by. “Are you ready to do this?”

“As much as I’ll ever be, I suppose.” Sanji says, tugging gently at the collar of his suit. “Apologies in advance if I stumble a bit when we’re going through the vows.”

“It’s all good,” Zoro assures him. “There are definitely worse things that can happen.”

“Yes, well.” Music begins to fill the air as the organist starts to play, and Sanji releases his grip on his clothing. “Looks like that’s our cue,” he says, holding out an arm awkwardly. “Shall we?”

Zoro stares at the proffered limb for a moment before nodding firmly. “Might as well,” he says, looping his own arm through it. “C’mon, Curls. Let’s get this show on the road.”

The walk down the aisle somehow manages to take both an eternity and no time at all. Zoro catches sight of Judge’s grinning face and has to fight the urge to scowl on his way by, but otherwise nothing of note occurs.

“Excellent.” The officiant says upon their arrival, beaming at them as if they’ve just executed a particularly difficult maneuver. “If you gentlemen will kindly join hands like so, we can begin.”

Mimicking the hold the older man has outlined, Zoro grips Sanji’s hands in his own, noting that, although they appear to be slim and delicate from a distance, up close they’re calloused and covered in tiny scars.

“Sword practice,” Sanji says weakly when Zoro absently runs his thumb over one. “From when I was a kid.”

“Liar,” Zoro replies, adding another comforting stroke when Sanji blanches. “We can talk about it later.”

“Moss … ” Sanji starts, but the officiant clears his throat, effectively signaling that the time for any talking on their part is over.

They both fall silent, as do the assembled guests and even the organist. The officiant welcomes everyone to the gathering, after which he launches into a meandering speech about love and duty that shows no sign of stopping anytime soon.

Vaguely concerned he’s going to fall asleep in the middle of everything, Zoro does his best to tune the man out. Instead he focuses on using his observation haki to get a feel for the surrounding area, startled when he feels Sanji of all people press back.

“You’re good at that.” He murmurs, his lips barely moving so as not to attract anyone’s attention. “Some of the best I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks,” Sanji murmurs back. “Now, would you mind telling me what the hell you think you’re doing?”

“Just wait for it,” Zoro says. He thinks the officiant might finally be getting to the point, which means it’s time for him to start paying attention again. “We’re almost there.”

Sanji makes a face at him. “For the record,” he says. “I’ve never been a big fan of surprises.”

Unable to help himself, Zoro grins at him. “I think you’ll like this one.”

“And now,” the officiant says, oblivious to the fact that he’s cutting off an entirely separate conversation. “If His Highness and the Commander will repeat after me.”

Zoro and Sanji both grimace at the man’s use of the titles that neither of them care for, but one after the other they dutifully echo the words that make up their vows. Then they pause as the officiant takes a deep breath, before he happily proclaims them married.

“You may now - ”

“ WAIT !”

Even though he’d had no idea the protest was coming, Zoro can’t help but let out a sharp bark of laughter as the entire audience, himself and Sanji included, turn to where Luffy is now standing up out of his seat, seemingly oblivious to the way a furious Nami is trying to drag him back down.

“ Strawhat !” Judge thunders, likewise rising across from him. “What the hell is the meaning of this?!”

Ignoring him, Luffy twists to look at Robin, who’s seated directly behind him. “That’s far enough, right?” He asks their resident historian. “Sanji’s ours now, isn’t he?”

Robin taps her chin with a delicately manicured finger, her eyes going vacant for a moment as she contemplates what Luffy’s asking. “Yes,” she says eventually. “I think it’s sufficient.”

“Good.” Luffy says, and Zoro damned near howls with laughter when he turns and punches Judge square in the teeth between one blink and the next. “Everybody move!”

“What the absolute fuck ?!” 

Sanji’s indignant exclamation somehow manages to rise above all the other shouts and bellows as the area promptly devolves into chaos. There’s no time for explanations, however, and Zoro’s been given very clear instructions on what he’s supposed to do next.

“Sorry about this, Curls.” He says, using the grip he’s still holding on Sanji’s hand to yank the other man towards him and then haul him up onto his shoulder. “I promise we’ll explain everything as soon as we get a chance.”

“Excuse me?!” Sanji screeches, sounding like he’s gotten a bit of the wind knocked out of him by Zoro’s abrupt manhandling. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, asshole? Put me down!”

“Can’t do that,” Zoro informs him, pulling Wado free and swiping one-handed at a trio of soldiers who’ve come streaming towards him. He also distantly registers the sight of the officiant scurrying away, and feels a small sense of satisfaction at that. “I’m afraid you’re coming with us.”

“Uh, yeah ,” Sanji says, managing to wrap one flailing hand in Zoro’s hair and giving it a vicious yank while the other grips his jacket. “That was the whole idea behind this entire stupid farce of a wedding. So, I repeat, what the fuck do you think you’re doing ?”

“It’s a long story,” Zoro says, grinning when he picks up the sound of explosions ringing out in the distance. It looks like Franky’s started setting off the little toys he’s stashed in the labs, which means things are about to get interesting. “Try not to squirm so much, though. I’d hate to drop you and mess up your pretty suit.”

“Actually,” he pauses for a moment, using the opportunity to send a few more soldiers flying in the meantime, and then continues on. “Maybe squirm at least a little bit. We need this to look good, and like we’re taking you against your will.”

“Which you are !” Sanji practically spits, redoubling his efforts to wriggle free. “I certainly didn’t sign up for whatever’s happening here!”

“Please,” Zoro scoffs, and this time he kicks a soldier away from him in a move he thinks Sanji would be proud of if he weren’t so ticked off. “What you signed up to do was sacrifice yourself to save your old man and everyone else on that floating restaurant of his. We’re just arranging things so you don’t have to.”

For the first time since Zoro had snatched him up, Sanji goes still. “How did you know about that?” He asks stiffly. “I never said a word about that.”

“You didn’t,” Zoro agrees, jumping over a couple of fallen chairs and bolting across the courtyard to where he can see a number of Strawhats up ahead, “but you’re forgetting how we started out in the East Blue. Red Leg sails the Baratie not far from the entrance to the Grand Line. We met him on our way by.”

He feels it as Sanji’s grip shifts on the back of his overcoat, the cook’s fingers rhythmically clenching and unclenching, probably due to nerves. “You met Zeff?” He finally rasps. “Was - was he okay?”

“I mean, physically, yeah.” Zoro says, ducking between Nami and Usopp, who turn to provide him with cover while also encouraging him to head for the path down to the docks. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees one of Nami’s thunderbolts hit Niji square in the chest and smirks. “Seemed pretty worried about you, though.”

“Tch!” Sanji grunts, but even Zoro can tell the dismissive sound is forced. “That shitty old geezer knows better than to waste time worrying about me. I told him I’d be fine .”

“Oh yeah, you’re totally fine , Curls.” Zoro shoots back in the same exasperated tone. “What with how you just let your prick of a blood parent marry you off to a pirate so he can use you as a bargaining chip in an alliance.”

“Well it’s not like I had a choice!” Sanji snaps. “If I’d run, he’d have killed Zeff - most likely brutally and somewhere he could make me watch. That was never an option.”

“I know,” Zoro says, pitching his voice softer now, possibly too soft in fact, based on the way Sanji grumbles at him. “I get it, I do. That’s why we didn’t let you in on the plan. Nami figured that if we told you what was going on, there was a chance you’d blow it to protect your home.”

“There may be … some logic to that,” Sanji grits out. “But that’s no excuse for hauling me away like a sack of potatoes! Honestly, don’t you have any manners at all?”

“None,” Zoro laughs, sidestepping a few fallen soldiers that Franky and Robin have taken out ahead of him. From his current location he can see that the two have already reached the Sunny and are getting her ready to set sail. “I bet Red Leg’s going to be wild when you tell him you had to marry me to get out of Germa.”

“You let me worry about Zeff,” Sanji sniffs. “I’ve been handling the old coot for years.”

“Good to know.” Zoro says, and then he gathers his momentum and leaps onto the Sunny without bothering to reach for the ladder.

This action serves to jostle Sanji pretty badly, and he lets out an annoyed grunt as Zoro’s shoulder digs into his sternum. Undeterred, Zoro barely bothers to adjust his hold, and races for the galley.

“You need to stay out of sight,” he says once he’s pulled the door open and ducked inside. Shifting to slide Sanji out of his hold, he sets the other man down on his feet, noting absently that he’s definitely looking a little rumpled. “If you try and join the battle, Judge will think you’re with us.”

“Apparently I am with you.” Sanji gripes, all while trying to yank his clothes back into some semblance of order. “Or so I’m now being told.”

“You know what I mean,” Zoro says, unbothered by the sarcasm. “We’re going to make sure Germa’s crippled so they won’t be a threat to anyone again - Red Leg included - but it’s for the best if you don’t have a part in it.”

Sanji makes a face at this, but it’s obvious he can see the logic in what Zoro’s saying, even if he doesn’t much care for it. “You’re sure you can do it?” He asks finally. “Because if you can’t, if even a fraction of Germa’s power survives, my father is as good as dead, so you promise me before you go back out there, Roronoa Zoro, that you know what you’re doing.”

“We know what we’re doing,” Zoro says firmly, meeting the other man’s gaze and holding it until he nods. “Don’t worry. Those of us who’ve met Red Leg really like him, and we made him a promise. We’re not going to let him down.”

Sanji stares at him. “Are you - are you saying that Zeff put you up to this?”

“Something like that,” Zoro says with a shrug. “We’ll tell you the whole story once the dust settles. For now though, you agree that you’ll stay in here and keep out of the way?”

Sighing, Sanji nods. “If I must,” he says, sounding tired. “But please make sure you give Judge and the idiot trio a thorough ass kicking for me. Oh, and also … ”

“Yeah?” Zoro prods when he trails off. “What is it?”

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Sanji says, his face pinched. “Try not to hurt my sister. She was the one who got me out of Germa the first time, and she’s been trying to do damage control for the length of my second stint.”

Zoro nods. “You have my word, the only way I’ll lay a hand on her is in self-defense, and I’ll let the others know too.”

“Thanks,” Sanji says, and it’s obvious that he’s nowhere near as indifferent as he’s trying to appear when he utters the word. “Well then what are you waiting for, hmm? Get your dumb ass out there and go deal with my shitty relatives like a good husband!”

Grinning, Zoro salutes him with Wado. “Yes, dear.”

*****

Sanji’s not sure how much time passes while he hides in the galley. There’s a clock on one wall that ticks steadily away during his confinement, but his mind is racing too much for him to properly focus on what it says. He feels not unlike someone who’s just gotten hit by a natural disaster, and has yet to register whether he’s coming or going at this point.

Eventually he gets up off the couch where he’s been sitting, needing something to do with his hands while he can hear the sounds of shouting and gunfire in the distance. A number of things appear to be exploding as well, and he tries not to get his hopes up that those noises are coming from the direction of the laboratories the way they seem to be. 

Almost absently, he paces the length of the galley while making his way through a few of the cigarettes he has stashed in the pocket of his suit jacket. He has to use a small bowl rescued from the sink to deal with the butts in lieu of an ashtray, a fact that he absently figures means none of the Strawhats smoke.

Inevitably, he starts poking around the galley the way he’d wanted to the first time he’d visited the ship. His brief sojourn during that trip hadn’t been long enough to get a decent look, so now he lets himself explore to his heart’s content, even ducking into the pantry and cold storage at one point.

From there it seems to be a natural progression for him to start pulling things out and reorganizing them. Keeping the Baratie maintained in perfect shape had been a common way for him to work through stress, and he notes a number of ways that the setup of the Sunny ’s kitchen could be improved.

Needing something to do with his hands he goes about tackling this task, after which he feels like he blinks and suddenly he’s standing at the countertop with a mixing bowl full of ingredients in his hands. His ears tell him the fighting is still going on outside, so he shrugs and decides to trust his instincts. 

The aroma of biscuits baking in the oven has filled the room by the time the galley door opens again, and Sanji feels a short spike of panic until Zoro shoves his way inside. Sighing in relief, he releases his grip on the counter and catches the swordsman’s eye.

“Is it over?” He asks, returning to his previously abandoned task of cleaning up the space where he’d been working. He notes that Zoro has the signs of general wear and tear from a battle, but on the whole he appears to be relatively unscathed. “Did you win?”

“Yes and yes,” the other man replies, a wolfish grin turning up the corners of his mouth. “Germa’s in ruins, and every last one of the labs has been flattened.”

Sanji nearly collapses in relief before another thought occurs to him. “And my relatives?” He asks cautiously, realizing in hindsight that he’d only specified his desire to see Reiju survive. “What about them?”

“Alive, all of them.” Zoro confirms, and this time Sanji does sag at his words. “Something you should know about Luffy is that he prefers to leave his enemies utterly defeated but not actually dead. He says if you just kill them outright then they don’t get to live with the fact of failing to get what they want.”

“Huh.” Sanji considers this for a moment. “In that case, I think I might have married the wrong pirate.”

Zoro’s grin gets bigger. “We’ll find you a place where you can get a divorce if that’s what you want,” he assures. “In the meantime, we’re setting sail now, but Germa should still be in sight for a little while longer if you want to go take a look. I think Judge might be having a meltdown on the battlements right now. He was screaming at Luffy for betraying him when I left.”

“And my siblings were being as useless as ever, I’m sure,” Sanji notes. “Although I suppose that’s what you get when you rob people of their emotions and ability to feel any kind of empathy.”

“I mean, to be fair, I think Niji and Yonji were dealing with the much more pressing problem of being unconscious,” Zoro snickers. “But I’m sure your point stands too.”

“Who took them out?” Sanji wonders.

“Nami and Robin,” Zoro replies just as quickly. “Apparently they didn’t come across well anytime they were around the girls.”

“I assure you, they never do.” Sanji says. “And Reiju, she’s okay, you promise?”

“Better than,” Zoro says, pointing at a sluggishly bleeding cut that sits up near his hairline. “She walloped me good when I didn’t fight back, and then we had a little chat about your request. I think I’ve got her blessing now. She certainly didn’t get in our way after that, I can tell you that much.”

“She better be careful,” Sanji says fretfully. He’s not surprised that his sister hasn’t opted to leave Germa under the circumstances, but part of him wishes she’d decided to run as well. “Judge is going to be miserable company for the foreseeable future.”

“Serves him right,” Zoro says flatly. “The way I see it, he’s got only himself to blame for that.”

“Anyway,” he says after they stare at each other awkwardly for the next few seconds. “If you’re interested, I brought you something.”

“Oh yeah?” Sanji asks, curious. “What is it?”

“A wedding present,” the other man replies with a cheeky grin. He then shifts slightly, revealing the fact that he’s been holding something tucked up close to his left side for the duration of their conversation.

Sanji blinks, tilting his head to the side in confusion, and then frowns. “That’s a transponder snail,” he says slowly. “This may shock you, Marimo, but I have in fact seen those before.”

“Not like this one, you haven’t.” Zoro replies, hefting it up and carrying it over to the table. Upon closer inspection it does seem to be a bit larger than average, and it’s got a little antenna Sanji’s never seen before.

“It’s one of Franky’s,” Zoro explains, stepping back and nodding at it. “He’s got it souped up so that it’s got a much wider range than they normally do. You can talk to anyone in any of the Blues with this thing.”

Sanji hisses, jerking his head away from where he’s been examining the snail, and blinking owlishly at the swordsman instead. “Any?” He tries weakly.

“Any.” Zoro confirms, and then gives him a smile that’s much softer than his previous ones. “Call your old man, Cook. I’m sure he’ll want to hear you’re okay. Whatever questions you have for the rest of us can wait until you’re done.”

Swallowing heavily, Sanji returns his gaze to the snail.

*****

Zoro departs not long after that, assuring him that he can use the galley for privacy for as long as he likes.

“What if people get hungry?” Sanji’d asked, which had caused the other man to laugh.

“Luffy stole the buffet table on his way by,” he’d said, still snickering as he’d walked towards the door. “That should be enough to tide everybody over until you’re done.”

Sanji had stared at him as he’d left, but Zoro had merely shrugged and continued on his way. He’s been gone for a good ten minutes now, leaving Sanji alone with only the snail and his thoughts for company.

Finally telling himself that enough is enough, Sanji reaches for the receiver and tugs it free from its cradle. He then proceeds to enter in a code that’s burned into his brain, waiting with baited breath to see what happens.

It rings for a while, long enough that he starts to become afraid that the distance really is too far or that no one is going to bother to pick up. Then he hears a faint click, followed by an annoyed voice informing him that he’s reached the Baratie and demanding to know what he wants to order.

Sanji chokes. “Patty, you damn idiot,” he scolds. “If the shitty geezer hears you answering the snail like that, he’s going to kick you right into the middle of the ocean.”

He hears the sound of something dropping in the background, likely something heavy by the sound of the clatter it makes when it falls. Then the voice returns, louder than before, almost as if it’s paying better attention to the receiver.

“ Sanji ?” The older chef yelps, his tone one of pure disbelief. “Is that you kid? Where are you? Are you alright?!”

“Uh, I’m fine, I think,” Sanji replies awkwardly, deciding to focus on that part for the time being. “Are you guys okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Patty asks, sounding genuinely confused.

“Because even though my bastard of a birth father said he’d leave the Baratie alone if I did what I wanted, I’ve never been able to trust that he’d keep his word.” Sanji exclaims in a rush, for the first time ever giving voice to a fear that’s plagued him during the entire length of his stay in Germa.

“ … fair enough.” Patty says, quieter now. “We’re good, though. All we’ve been dealing with are the usual idiot pirates who try and start shit they have no idea how to finish.”

“That’s good,” Sanji says, exhaling a relieved breath. “Um. Is the old man around then? I was kind of hoping to talk to him.”

“Carne’s gone to grab him.” Patty replies, kinder than he usually is. “He was next to me when I picked up the snail, and took off running the second he heard your voice. I think they’re on their way back now.”

Sanji hears a stomping sound in the background, and Patty chuckles. “Make that definitely on their way,” he corrects. “Say hi to your dad, kid.”

“ Eggplant !” A new, yet wonderfully familiar, voice is saying next. “Is that you? Heads are going to roll if this is some kind of prank.”

“It’s not a prank,” Sanji sniffs, dashing a hand over his eyes where he feels a sudden onset of wetness occurring. “It’s me, I promise.”

“Fucking hell ,” Zeff breathes, but there’s no mistaking the happiness in his voice, even if it’s also laden with a heavy dose of worry. “Where are you?” He demands next. “Are you hurt? Are you safe? What the hell is going on?”

Someone mumbles something on the other end of the line, too faint for Sanji to make out, but the incredulous noise that escapes Zeff comes through loud and clear. “What the hell is ‘you think’ you’re fine supposed to mean?”

Sanji can’t help it, he laughs. “In my defense it’s been a very confusing couple of hours,” he says in a rush. “I’m with the Strawhats,” he says next, “and if I’m understanding them correctly, you put them up to helping me.”

Nobody says anything for a long moment, and then Zeff surprises him with a ragged laugh of his own. “That crazy little bastard,” he says, and Sanji can easily picture the way he must be shaking his head right now, his ridiculous mustache swaying with the motion. “He actually did it. Is Judge dead?”

“No,” Sanji says, unsurprised that the older chef had gone there so quickly. “Apparently they prefer to let their enemies stew over the bitter sting of defeat, rather than kill them outright. Germa’s been flattened, though. They won’t be a threat to you anymore.”

“I didn’t give a flying fuck about them being a threat to me before,” Zeff says firmly, his tone the scolding one that never fails to make Sanji cringe. “That was a damned foolish thing for you to do, brat, and you’ll be lucky if I don’t throttle you when I get my hands on you again.”

“He was going to kill you!” Sanji protests. “What was I supposed to do? Just let that happen?”

“You were supposed to let me deal with it because I’m the parent and you’re the child,” Zeff retorts. “That’s how these things work. I’m responsible for you, not the other way around.”

Sanji sniffs harder, but on this point he refuses to back down. “I’m not sorry I did it,” he insists. “I’m not.”

“Do you think I’m surprised to hear that?” Zeff asks dryly. “You’re my kid, remember?”

“Yeah,” Sanji rasps, tears actively trickling down his cheeks now. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good lad,” Zeff says, softer now. “So, do you want to tell me how it is that you’ve landed yourself in Strawhat’s clutches? I hope you know I told him I figured you were the best man for the job when he came sniffing around the Baratie a few years back, looking for a cook.”

“You did?”

“Mhm,” Zeff confirms. “And I reminded him that he owed me for helping save that dumbass swordsman of his after the idiot got hacked open while fighting Dracule Mihawk on my damn ship. I figured twisting the knife a little couldn’t hurt.”

“Zoro fought Mihawk at the Baratie ?” Sanji wonders. “Really?”

“ Fought being the operative word,” Zeff snorts. “The little fool almost bled out in front of us after picking a fight with someone so far out of his league. Granted, based on the newsreels, he’s still alive, so I assume he’s more dangerous these days. Regardless, you haven’t answered my question yet. How’d you wind up with the Strawhats?”

“Uh, well ,” Sanji says weakly, unsure of the best way to explain that particular detail. “It’s kind of a funny story. The reason Judge came looking for me was because he was trying to arrange an alliance with an Emperor and planned to use a marriage pact to seal the deal. Only, he didn’t want to give up one of the sons he cared about to do it.”

Zeff coughs. “I very much don’t like where this is going.” He wheezes.

“I get it, but it could’ve been worse,” Sanji replies. “Most of the time I’ve been stuck here, Judge was working towards an alliance with Big Mom. He only turned his attention to the Strawhats after she lost in Wano and they took her place.”

“Yeah, I’ll admit I like that idea even less,” Zeff agrees. “So, that’s what happened then? Strawhat agreed to the idea under false pretenses and then took off with you once everything was said and done?”

“Pretty much,” Sanji says. “Or at least, I think so? Things only went down a couple hours ago, and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and really talk with them yet. Plus, Zoro brought me the transponder snail because he figured I’d want to talk to you.”

“ Zoro ?” Zeff echoes, and the way he utters the name makes it clear that he’s got some new concerns brewing. “You sound awfully chummy already there, Eggplant.”

“Shut up, geezer,” Sanji retorts, feeling himself flush. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Mhm,” Zeff grunts. “Out of curiosity then, which of their crew did the Strawhats offer up as their part in faking this alliance?”

Sanji doesn’t answer, and the old chef sighs. “Wonderful. Well, you can tell my new son-in-law that he gets points for having you call the second you were free, but I resent not being asked for my blessing. There’s a proper way of doing these things, you know.”

“Old man.” Sanji exclaims, feeling half amused, half mortified. “It wasn’t - it’s not like that! There’s nothing going on between us for real. He was just, I don’t know, following his captain’s orders.”

“Uh huh, I believe you,” Zeff replies, skepticism leaking from every syllable. “There’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re telling the truth.”

“I am .” Sanji insists, but even he can hear how weak his protest sounds. “You always jump to the craziest conclusions, geezer. Makes me think we should have you tested for early senility.”

“I’m as fit now as I was the day you dropped into my life as a half feral, little nightmare of a child,” Zeff informs him. “So don’t even go there.”

“You realize that doesn’t necessarily help your case, right?” Sanji points out. “Most rational adults would have washed their hands of me the second that ship showed up to rescue us from the rock.”

“Like I give a flying fuck what most people would have done,” Zeff scoffs. “You’re my son, Sanji, and there’s nothing in this world that could have made me give you up.”

“Fuck,” Sanji breathes, scrubbing at his face again. “You don’t - I really missed you. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Zeff assures him. “And much though I never wanted you to do it, I understand why you made the choice that you did. Having said that, if you ever try to sacrifice yourself for me again, it won’t be your enemies you have to worry about. It’ll be me, coming to give you the righteous ass kicking you deserve. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Sanji mumbles, doing his best to dry his eyes with his sleeve.

“Good,” Zeff says decisively. “Now then. It sounds like you’ve had a whirlwind of a day, and also like you’ve still got a number of things you need to sort out with the Strawhats. I expect you to let me know what your plans are as soon as you’ve finalized them, though, and to keep in touch regularly, no matter what you decide. Have you got all that?”

“Yeah,” Sanji says, his voice a little firmer now. “I’ve got it.”

“Good,” Zeff repeats. “Oh, and one other thing. The next time you call, I expect you to have Roronoa with you. It sounds like he and I need to have a little chat.”

“Not a chance in hell, shitty geezer.”

*****

The battered husk that was the Germa fleet has long since faded into the distance by the time the galley door opens and Sanji pokes his head out. Looking a little worse for wear, the blond slowly descends the steps down to the lawn, his eyes roaming over the crew where they’re gathered down here in their entirety.

“So.” He says once he’s come to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, one hand still curled around the railing. “I feel like you people owe me an explanation.”

Luffy opens his mouth to respond, and Zoro winces in sympathy when Nami immediately cuts him off by driving her fist into the top of his head.

“Not a chance,” she says firmly, watching as their captain theatrically writhes around on the deck. “You’ll just leave him more confused than he already is.”

“If I may,” Sanji tells her, his eyes cutting over to Zoro for a moment before returning to focus on the navigator. “Moss-For-Brains there did give me a few details while he was busy kidnapping me from my own wedding, and my father was able to fill in a number of the other blanks. I’d like to hear your side of the story, though.”

“Was the old guy happy to hear from you?” Luffy asks, rolling further down the lawn to avoid getting stomped on by one of Nami’s high heeled shoes. “I bet he was. He missed you a lot.”

“You let me worry about Zeff,” Sanji replies. “Although, I guess he did tell me to pass along his thanks.”

Luffy makes a victorious noise as he finally climbs to his feet. “That’s awesome,” he says, barely taking a moment to brush himself off. “Was he also happy that you’re going to be my cook?”

“Idiot, that was exactly what I did not want you to do,” Nami sighs while Sanji blinks. “You can’t just tell the man he has to join the crew, you have to ask .”

“But his dad says he’s the best chef on any of the seas.” Luffy whines, and Zoro watches in fascination as Sanji’s face flushes a truly remarkable shade of red. “If I’m going to be the King of the Pirates, I need the best chef. Just like I need the best navigator or the best shipwright.”

“That’s all well and good, but you still have to ask,” Nami reiterates. “We’re not going to force him to stay anywhere he doesn’t want to.”

“I know that,” Luffy huffs. “But his dad says he’s the best, and Zoro said the same thing.”

“Did he now?” Sanji asks, on those words like a dog with a bone. His eyes flick back over to Zoro, leaving the swordsman uncomfortably aware that he’s the one blushing now. “That’s funny because I don’t remember telling him that I’d cooked for him at any point.”

“Wasn’t that hard to tell,” Zoro grumbles, focusing his attention on the toes of his boots. “Anytime you brought food for just the two of us, it tasted loads better than anything the staff brought out.”

Sanji clears his throat awkwardly. “Yes, well, you’ll forgive me for saying so, but I have it on good authority that your stomach can handle literally anything. Therefore, I’m not sure how reliable a narrator you are.”

“I’m not a liar.” Zoro says firmly, meeting his gaze at that. “And your food is the best I’ve ever tasted.”

For some reason, his words make Sanji hiss like a scalded cat. “You can’t just say things like that,” he insists, flustered. “I mean, I’m - I’m good, I guess. Zeff made sure to teach me whatever he could, but I’m still just … me. I’m not sure why you’re so set on having me join your crew.”

“You’re a great cook, a great fighter, and you care about people,” Luffy says. “What more do I need to ask for?”

“I can think of a few things,” Sanji says dryly. “Besides, I’ve abandoned Zeff for long enough. I should be getting back to help him.”

“He wants more for you than that,” Luffy says. “He told us so. He wants you to go after your dream, whatever that is.”

“That’s complicated.” Sanji says, shoving his hands in his pockets and chuckling self-consciously. “My dream is … well. Let’s just say a lot of people have made fun of me over the years because of how unlikely it is I’ll be able to achieve it.”

“Man, is that all that’s stopping you?” Usopp asks, cutting through the brewing tension with a laugh. He points at Robin. “Wants to discover the history of the void century.” Chopper. “Wants to cure all diseases.” Nami. “To draw a map of the world.” Zoro. “World’s greatest swordsman.” Luffy. “King of the freakin’ Pirates.”

Laughing again, the sniper lets his hand fall back to his side and shakes his head. “Having an insane dream shouldn’t stop you from joining this crew. Hell, it’s practically a requirement.”

“He’s right,” Luffy says decisively. “So. What’s your dream, Sanji?”

Sanji doesn’t say anything at first, but eventually he takes a deep breath, looking not unlike he’s bracing himself as he opens his mouth.

“Have you ever heard of the All Blue?”

*****

Much like they all knew he would, Sanji agrees to stay on as their cook. He then insists on getting into his duties right away, and whips up a mouthwatering supper, the likes of which the Sunny ’s galley has never seen. Even Luffy manages to eat his fill, although it’s only a matter of time before he comes slinking back looking for more.

For his part, Zoro eats as much as the next person, but unlike everyone else, he refuses to allow himself to be shooed out of the kitchen once he’s done eating. 

“We share the load around here.” He says, eyeing the mountain of dirty dishes that are piled on the countertop. “Don’t tell me you’re going to say no to some help.”

Sanji’s eyes flick back and forth between him and the dishes. “Just so you know,” he says after a moment, “I have very high standards when it comes to the state of my cookware. If something isn’t finished to my satisfaction, I’ll make you do it again.”

“So you wash, and I’ll dry.” Zoro suggests, figuring he’s less likely to fuck up that task. “Don’t worry, Cook. I promise not to hurt your precious kitchen.”

“It’s hardly my kitchen,” Sanji mumbles, his ears turning pink. “I’ve barely been here for more than a few hours.”

“It’s yours,” Zoro replies. “Remember the tour? We all have a space to call our own.”

“Right, right.” Sanji says, turning to fuss with the faucet until there’s a steady stream of water gushing into the sink. “The crow’s nest is yours, isn’t it? I didn’t actually go up the last time I was here.”

“You can go see it for yourself whenever you feel like,” Zoro says, moving to join him at the counter. He picks up one of the nearby dish towels upon arrival, twisting it in his hands as he waits for the first clean dish to reach him. “Hell, we can even spar up there if you’re interested.”

“I would be. Interested, that is.” Sanji says, more to the soapy water that’s now filling the sink. “If nothing else, I’ll need to keep in shape if I’m going to be running with this crew. Your exploits are … notable.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Zoro huffs around a laugh. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for another proper fighter to come along and help me protect these lunatics.”

“Surely they can protect themselves okay,” Sanji says, dumping the first stack of plates into the sink and beginning to scrub the one at the top. “I’ve seen all your wanted posters. Your bounties suggest you’re all dangerous.”

“Our bounties suggest that there’s a vastly different level of physical power among the crew,” Zoro corrects. “Which is true. Everyone can fight to an extent, but some much better than others, and we’re not the only dangerous things out there on the Grand Line.”

“That’s fair,” Sanji says, dunking the now clean dish in the water one last time before holding it out. “So then, am I to understand you want me to help you with the noble goal of protecting the weaker members of the crew?”

Their fingers brush as Zoro accepts the plate, the touch sending a tiny jolt through him. “I want someone who can keep up with me,” he says seriously. “I want someone to watch my back the same way I’ll watch theirs, so that we can clear a path for Luffy on his way to becoming the Pirate King. I want a partner.”

He feels Sanji’s fingers twitch against his, and doesn’t think he imagines a faint intake of breath from the blond. Neither of them says anything for a moment, but then Sanji’s visible blue eye meets Zoro’s own.

“Then I guess it’s a good thing we’re married now,” he says quietly. “I’m pretty sure that’s the ultimate form of partnership.”

“We can still change that,” Zoro says in a rush. “It was, you know, when Judge offered up the deal we jumped on it because it seemed like the best way to get you out, and to buy the time we needed to rig the labs. I’m not going to hold you to anything you don’t want, I swear.”

“And there’s that nobility again,” Sanji says, the corners of his mouth turning up in a small smile. “Who’d have thought the Demon of the East was so … good.”

“I’m a pirate,” Zoro replies.

“But not a monster, I remember.” Sanji says. “You’ll drink, steal, and swear, but you won’t tell a little girl her food is bad or force a man to marry you against his will.”

Zoro shrugs, not having anything else to add, and Sanji’s smile gets even brighter, but also a little wicked. “You’re an old softie,” he practically coos. “The demon’s got a gooey center on the inside.”

“Fuck, that’s it. We’re definitely getting divorced,” Zoro says, swatting at him with the dish towel.

Sanji retaliates by splashing water at him. The soapy droplets spatter the front of his shirt, making the blond laugh. “Technically it’d be an annulment, I think, because the marriage is unconsummated. Robin was explaining the difference to me during supper.”

“Robin should mind her own business,” Zoro chokes. “Unless she wants me to pay a visit to the books in her library.”

Sanji’s eyes narrow dangerously, and this time there’s more force behind the gush of water he sends Zoro’s way. “Keep talking like that and we won’t have to worry about annulments or divorces because I’ll have widowed myself by killing you. Be nice to that beautiful lady, you animal.”

“Jeez, is it always going to be like this with you?” Zoro demands, wiping his face with his sleeve. “You’re a real piece of work, Curls.”

“And yet you married me anyway, Mossball.” Sanji sniffs. “What’re you going to do about it?”

Greatly daring, Zoro reaches out and snags him by the collar, using his grip to pull him across the minuscule distance between them. “I can think of a few things,” he says, licking his bottom lip.

His gaze tracking the motion, Sanji’s eyes go half-lidded. “I’m listening,” he says, his voice rough. “What did you have in mind?”

“Give me a year.” Zoro says, the words spilling out of his mouth before they’ve fully registered in his brain. “If I haven’t proven to you by then that there might be something real here, we’ll have it called off for good. No questions asked, and no hard feelings. Sound fair?”

“Sounds … interesting.” Sanji admits, somehow managing to shift closer even though that should be technically impossible. “But you’d better be ready to work for it, Marimo. My kitchen isn’t the only place where I have high standards.”

“It’s a deal.” Zoro says, and kisses him right in the middle of the galley.

*****

Epilogue 

“It’s too early for this, Mossball. Exactly what do you think you’re doing?”

Undeterred by the ominous way Sanji’s curling a hand in his hair, clearly poised to yank him back at a moment’s notice, Zoro continues leaving a trail of kisses down the other man’s chest.

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” He asks, nipping at a spot where he knows Sanji’s particularly sensitive. “I’m being a good husband and lavishing my dearly beloved with all the attention he so rightly deserves.”

“Was that rehearsed?” Sanji wonders, his fingers tightening but not yet making a move to cause damage. “Because it sounded rehearsed. Trite words of affirmation aren’t your style, darling. And you’re not very good at them at the best of times.”

“So?” Zoro asks, bringing one of his own hands up and allowing the pads of his fingers to ghost over Sanji’s navel. “Don’t lie. You like that I’m a blunt bastard.”

“Mmm, I like a lot of things about you.” Sanji notes. “Chief among them the way you usually let me sleep in on the rare mornings when I don’t have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to go make breakfast for our crew. The sun’s barely up, Zoro. Why am I?”

“Gotta a question for you.” Zoro replies, pressing a kiss to Sanji’s side where he knows he’s ticklish and grinning when it makes the man squirm. “S’important.”

“It had better be if it’s got you up at this hour,” Sanji grumbles. “But alright, Marimo, I’ll bite. What’s your question?”

Shifting around for a bit, Zoro doesn’t settle until he’s got his arms crossed over Sanji’s chest and his chin pillowed on top of them. From this angle, he can see the way the blond’s eyes have narrowed in suspicion, and he grins cheekily up at him. “How’d I do?”

“How’d you do … what?” Sanji asks in return. “I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.”

“No?” Zoro says, cocking his head to one side. He knows Sanji hates it when people play coy with him, as evidenced by the eye roll this motion earns him. “Really? No idea?”

“None whatsoever,” Sanji confirms. “So if you’ll kindly stop playing games, I’d appreciate it if you’d remove your giant carcass from atop my person, and let me go back to sleep.”

“Back to sleep?” Zoro asks, his good eye widening theatrically. “On our anniversary? That seems harsh.”

“It absolutely is not harsh,” Sanji says, starting to get exasperated. “The others are okay with fending for themselves today, and Robin and Franky have agreed to protect my kitchen from Luffy. Therefore, I want to spend some time lounging around in our very own bed, which we keep in our very own room, until we eventually dock for the evening so we can go have a romantic night out like you promised me.”

“I did promise you that,” Zoro agrees. “Because I’m a good husband.”

“You’re … not awful,” Sanji allows. “At least, despite the occasional urge, I haven’t killed you yet.”

“Meaning you haven’t widowed yourself,” Zoro notes. “And,” he adds with a little shimmy that emphasizes how very naked they both are in their bed, “I think it’s fair to say that the ship has sailed on getting an annulment.”

“Yes, yes. That option is very much off the table.” Sanji says, his cheeks flushing. “Trust me, I’m aware .”

“Mhm, which just leaves a divorce,” Zoro says. “So, Curls, I’m gonna ask you again. How’d I do?”

“Again, what do you mean, how did you - oh.” His expression morphing into a mixture of annoyed and fond, Sanji digs the fingers of one hand into Zoro’s hair, scratching at the spot behind his ear the way he likes. “It’s our first anniversary.” He says, understanding having finally dawned. “That means your year is up.”

“Yep,” Zoro confirms. “So lay it on me, Swirlybrows. What’s the verdict?”

Bringing his arms up to slide his hands behind his head, Sanji makes a thoughtful noise and glances up at the ceiling. “Well, it’s hard to say, really,” he starts. “You’re terribly rude, for one, those ridiculous nicknames of yours are just the tip of the iceberg. You also have terrible table manners, and equally terrible fashion sense. Then, of course, there’s the fact that you only bathe regularly because I threaten to kick you out of bed.”

“All true,” Zoro says breezily. “Guilty as charged.”

“Yes, I know,” Sanji replies. “You’re obsessed with swords, you constantly rest your filthy boots on my pristine kitchen table, and you can't navigate your way out of a wet paper bag. You sleep all the time, often underfoot, you pick fights with people you shouldn’t, and you’d drink your life away if I let you.”

“Which you wouldn’t,” Zoro points out.

“Correct,” Sanji agrees. “All told, you’re just, god, now that I think about it, you’re terrible in almost every conceivable way.”

“It’s true,” Zoro says happily. “But?”

“ But ,” Sanji says, sighing dramatically. “For whatever sin I apparently committed in a past life, you are easily one of the best things to ever happen to me. Happy anniversary, you useless houseplant.”

“Back at you, Curls.” Zoro replies with a wink.

Sanji snorts. “I’ve told you a million times, that doesn’t work properly when you only have the one eye. God, you’re such a moron. I can’t believe you’re the love of my life.”

“Again, back at you.” Zoro says, pushing himself up onto his hands and using his new vantage point to lean in for a proper kiss. “I wouldn’t trade you for anything, you annoying pain in the ass.”

“Your sweet talk could use some work, dear.” Sanji says, rolling his eyes. “In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it could use a lot of it.”

“Well,” Zoro says thoughtfully. “We do have all day. Maybe I’ll be nice and practice a little.”

“Now this I have to see.”

Zoro smirks down at him, but then allows the expression to fade into something softer. “Happy anniversary,” he says, pressing their foreheads together. “Thanks for sticking with me this long.”

His eye is closed, but he hears it when Sanji swallows. “My pleasure,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to Zoro’s temple. “Thanks for agreeing to marry me as part of the most convoluted, half-cocked plan I’ve ever heard of.”

“Anytime, Curls.” Zoro assures him. “Anytime.”