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Tarrey Town, the Tenth of Hylia’s Month
“You’re nervous.” Impa said, matter-of-factly.
“Of COURSE I’m nervous!” Zelda snapped, idly twiddling her thumbs as Paya, Riju, and Yona all assisted her with her dress. “It’s my wedding day! I’m about to marry Link after… WAY TOO LONG!” She grabbed a handkerchief and began wringing it between her hands. “Goddesses, what if something happens?”
“Nothing’s going to happen. You’ve got all of the sages, you’ve got LINK, you even have your draconic cheer squad up in the sky! If someone wanted to start something, this is the worst time and place to do it!” Impa snorted lightly. “The worst thing that’s happened has been Kohga’s wedding gift.” She pointed over to a gift containing two bunches of bananas, bearing the note Congrats on the Wedding, Princess Zelda! We’ll kill you, but we’ll do it later (we wouldn’t want to ruin your happy day. That would just be rude). - Hate and Stabbings, Lord Kohga and the Yiga Clan.
“Fair, though that was surprisingly thoughtful of him. Did you see who dropped the gift off?” Zelda asked. “I don’t need them thinking they can actually attend.”
“We did. He was disguised as Bolson, only to get caught by the ACTUAL Bolson. I think they made out a little.” Paya answered with a light giggle. “Rest assured, the Sheikah are checking the crowd regularly. You’ll be fine.”
Zelda began nervously chewing on the handkerchief. “Okay, so the Yiga are clear… but what if there’s some other Calamity or Upheaval or something? What if Tarrey Town sinks into the lake? What if–”
“Zelda…” Yona placed a hand on Zelda’s shoulder. “Calm down, please. Your friends are all here. We’ll keep you safe, no matter what, so just relax and enjoy things. This should be the happiest day of your life, after all… though I suspect there’s some major competition for that title.” She giggled lightly.
“You mean the time my husband-to-be rescued me from a hundred years of bodiless war with living hate, or the time he rescued me from thousands of years of being asleep inside of my Secret Stone?” Zelda chuckled wryly. “Yeah, there’s some hefty competition, but all my best days are with Link.”
“And now you’ll have another one!” Paya chimed in, happily. “And I’m sure Sir Link is just as nervous as you are!”
“Nice of Kohga to send a gift, considering how many times he’s tried to kill me.” Link mused, putting the gift aside— Kohga and the Yiga had sent one gift to each of them. “I’ll have to make sure to send him a thank-you note. Do you think bomb flowers and fire fruit would be appropriate?”
“Probably!” Sidon laughed, clapping Link on the back. “So, my best friend, are you nervous about marrying your princess?”
“I mean… kinda? I guess?” Link answered, shrugging lightly. “Honestly, I was a lot more nervous about rescuing her… and having her move in with me… and sleeping in the same bed with her… and kissing her… and rescuing her again…” Link put a finger to his mouth as he cataloged all the things he’d been nervous about. “Honestly, PROPOSING was nerve wracking, but this? This is mostly just making it official. I’m just happy we can actually do it.”
“I know what you mean, Link! I’m glad you got her to come back from being a dragon… even though that dragon’s back now… and is flying overhead… and has a crown of Silent Princess flowers woven into her mane… and I think she’s greeting people as they come in… are you ever gonna explain WHY the Light Dragon’s back?” Yunobo asked, confused.
“Nope. Not my place to explain– ask Zelda. But that’s actually not what I was talking about. I’m happy we were even able to be together in the first place.” Link smiled, leaning back in his chair and checking his reflection in the mirror.
“Hmm? Whaddaya mean, Link?” Tulin cocked his head slightly as Teba adjusted Link’s suitcoat for him.
“Well, Tulin, you gotta remember that Zelda and I are way older than we look. We grew up under the old Kingdom of Hyrule– and that had really strict societal lines. Commoners like me weren’t allowed to court nobles like Zelda, and even in my case, where I’m literally Hylia’s Chosen Hero, Zelda’s father was equally likely to tell me I wasn’t good enough as he was to actually let me court her.” Link stared up at the ceiling, idly listening to the chatter of the crowd as he waited for the ceremony to actually begin.
“And her dad… Well, he was a piece of crap, honestly. All he cared about was her unlocking her power, and he didn’t care how miserable it made her. He was about a year away from ordering her to marry someone and produce an heir when the Calamity broke free.” Link scowled to himself. The older he got, the more he disliked King Rhoam, and he had never liked the man to begin with. “Honestly, I think that if someone came up to him and said ‘Your Majesty! I’ve found scriptures that indicate the princess needs to be in a loveless, unhappy marriage to unlock her power!’ he would have married her off the very next day.”
“What WAS the trigger to unlock her power, anyway?” Sidon asked, idly. “You never told me, and neither did Zelda.”
Link looked over at Sidon. “We didn’t?” He chuckled a bit. “It would be funny if it hadn’t ruined both of our lives. The trigger was love. Love, protection, positive emotions like that. That stupid old man basically cut off everything from her that would have ACTUALLY woken the powers up.” He thought for a moment. “Except me, but even that was all complicated at first.”
“Wow.” Sidon was actually left quiet and speechless, for once. “Father SAID King Rhoam was a good leader, but I guess he was a pretty bad father.”
“Yepppp.” Link said, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word. “Just… keep that to yourself, okay, guys? Zelda still mourned him, for some reason.” He stood up, straightening his suit. Besides, this is a happy day! No sense moping over things that are unchangeable, anyway– I get to marry the love of my life– so everything that led to this was worth it!”
“Even Purah blowing me up while I was cleaning out her lab?” Yunobo asked, curiously.
“If it led to me and Zelda getting married, yes.” Link stated, bluntly. “Sorry, Yunobo, but I’d blow you up a thousand times if it meant I got to marry Zelda.”
“Fair. She’s a smooth pile of rocks… at least for a Hylian.” Yunobo laughed. “All the Hylians say she’s really pretty.”
“Trust me when I say she’s the prettiest girl in the world.” Link tied a blue nightshade flower onto his lapel. “How do I look?” He asked with a grin.
“You look great, my dear friend!” Sidon answered, his teeth glinting. “You two will be stunning, I know it!”
The orchestra (actually the Stable Trotters, but they were the closest thing to an orchestra Hyrule had) tuned up as Link stood by the Goddess Statue in the center of town, resplendent in a forest green and silver suit, embroidered with a Silent Princess and a Blue Nightshade on the breast in gold thread. Now that he was out here, the nervousness was hitting him a bit. Just repeat what Impa says. Let her tie your hand to Zelda’s. Kiss Zelda. Have a party, but don’t get drunk. Easy job! Much easier than stopping the Calamity or killing the Demon King or oh goddesses my hands are sweating…
With a flourish, the music swelled and the Hyrulean National March began playing, as was tradition for a Royal’s wedding. Zelda exited the house she’d been getting ready in. If Link was looking good in his suit, Zelda was a goddess, walking the land. She wore a white dress, with golden seams and turquoise as a sub-color. She was, Link realized, colored almost exactly like Zelli the Light Dragon, who was currently flying overhead and giving the occasional friendly roar when the crowd cheered. She carried a bouquet of Silent Princesses, Blue Nightshades, and the occasional Sundelion, and a diamond tiara looped around her forehead, her veil hanging off of it to either side, with a single Silent Princess tied in her hair. She looked quite literally divine.
“Hey.” Zelda whispered to him as she walked up next to him.
“Hey.” Link replied. “You look amazing.”
“So do you.” Zelda answered. “Green is a good color on you.” She took his hand, quietly intertwining her fingers with his, as Impa began her speech.
“Friends, honored guests, and all in attendance! We come together today to join Her Royal Highness, Reborn Blood of Hylia and Heir to the Light, Princess Zelda Lucina Bosphoramus Hyrule and Link, the Knight Who Seals the Darkness, together in matrimonial bliss.” Impa produced a length of red silk cloth. “Their hands will be bound together to symbolize their fates being joined as one!” Leaning down, she deftly bound Link and Zelda’s hands together and produced a cup of tea. “Drink from the same cup of tea, to show you both accept that you are of equal rank and standing.”
Link had to smile at that line. Zelda had swiped his drinks more often than he cared to count at home. If sharing a cup of tea was all it took, he’d been Prince Consort since three days after he’d rescued her. The night of, if stealing food counted– she’d eaten her food and then stolen almost all of his right off his plate that first night, having been ravenously hungry. He waited for her to sip from the cup, and then he did as well. Impa made good wedding tea. It was fruity.
“Now, the speaking of vows!” Impa gestured to Zelda. “Zelda Lucina Bosphoramus Hyrule, please speak your vows of devotion.”
“Link…” Zelda looked Link in the eyes, happily smiling. “Link, you’ve always been the most loyal and faithful person I’ve ever known. You’ve saved Hyrule twice, overcoming death itself to do so. Every person here has benefitted from your actions, especially me. You saved me, Link. From the Calamity, from an eternity as a dragon, but most of all… you saved me from my own sadness. Every day I’m with you, the sun shines brighter.” She smiled widely, closing her eyes as she started to cry happy tears. “I still can’t believe I actually get to marry for love! I love you, and I’ll stay with you for all of my days!” She grinned widely, shifting her bouquet into her tied hand so she could wipe her eyes a bit.
“Link– please speak your vows.” Impa gestured to Link.
“Zelda– you’re the most perfect woman in the world.” Link shut his eyes, trying to focus only on his words and not the crowd. “You’ve been my best friend since I met you– even if I wasn’t yours straight away.” They both chuckled a bit. “You’re brilliant, determined and brave, and you’ve given so much of yourself to this land without asking for anything in return.” He opened his eyes again, looking only at Zelda. “You’re why I could do everything I managed. All I have to offer is my heart and soul, but I do so happily. I’m your Link, forevermore.”
“The vows are exchanged!” Impa said, surreptitiously dabbing at her own eyes. “Zelda, you are Link’s wife. Link, you are Zelda’s husband. Take your bouquet and cast it aside– you are a maiden no longer!”
Zelda shifted her bouquet to her free hand and threw it towards the crowd as best she could. It never landed, as Zelli swooped down and snapped it up midair. Mmm… these taste wonderful! She purred, hovering a few meters overhead. Sorry, Zelda, but they looked SO tasty.
The crowd stayed silent for a few moments before a ripple of laughter ran through everyone. Out of all the potential disruptions, a dragon eating the bouquet was not on anyone’s list. “Well… congratulations to the lucky dragon, I suppose!” Impa laughed. “Link, Zelda, with your bound hands, please ring the bell and pray for eternal love between your souls!” They did, the notes ringing out clearly. “And with that, the ceremony is complete! You may kiss, and then proceed to your life together!” Impa held up her hands, and everyone (including the dragons) roared with approval as the newlyweds shared a kiss.
What followed was probably the liveliest party Hyrule had seen since the Calamity. Link quickly found out how much wine it took to get Sidon drunk (3.6 glasses of regular Hylian wine– guy’s a total lightweight), what Yunobo does for relaxation (rocks. He refused to elaborate.), who Riju had a crush on (Paya), and what Tulin’s favorite drink was (whiskey. It turns out Rito are just flat out immune to alcohol).
Zelda, meanwhile, helped herself to a Noble Pursuit or two and spent a not insignificant amount of time introducing everyone to her sister, the gigantic mile long dragon that ate her bouquet, and her other siblings, the equally huge dragons who were carefully spacing out from each other so they didn’t accidentally cause a tornado from their elements clashing. Not many people were aware that Zelda had spent the last however-many-thousand years as a dragon, and the vows had been quietly spoken, so they generally nodded politely and scurried away.
As a party favor, Purah brought the initial prototype of her ‘Purah Personnel Pacifier’, which everyone agreed was a very impressive piece of work, though Robbie was aghast at how she tested it by vaporizing his lab. “What?” She had asked, giving him one of her looks. “I moved all of your stuff out, even that ancient oven you have the hots for!” Robbie had wisely fallen silent after that, lest he rouse his wife’s ire.
About three hours in, the party was beginning to get rowdy, and that, of course, meant that Hudson would have a lot of construction work waiting for him in the morning. The Gorons were riding Dinraal, cheering and hollering, while the Rito were racing Naydra to the labyrinth and back (Naydra’s face was designated as their actual location, because they were, of course, quite long). Farosh had gone for a swim, leading the Zora to collect the hundreds of electrocuted fish (Farosh ate quite a few, but again– their body was very long). Zelli had curled up along most of the Rist Peninsula and was singing a gentle, beautiful song, which the children in attendance loved, especially when she finished, causing Silent Princesses to bloom along the length of her body.
Back up on the mainland, Purah was hawking copies of her collections of smutty literature, which Zelda tried to be inauspicious about buying a copy of volumes 2 and 3. Robbie was teaching Teba how to use ancient arrows (he had QUITE the stockpile that he’d retrieved from Link after the Calamity) and had destroyed most of Kilton’s dioramas, which Hudson had, of course, promised to rebuild for a nominal fee.
Link, meanwhile, was sitting with Hudson and Rhondson, nursing his first (and only) Noble Pursuit of the day. “How do you do it, Hudson?” He asked, watching the chaos unfold around him. “Marriage, I mean. Is it really that different from just living together?”
“Well…” Hudson thought for a moment. “Not really.”
“The main change is that you are aware, at some level, that your partner is not going to just up and leave you forever one day.” Rhondson answered, gesturing at Link with her own glass. “The two of you are devoted to each other to an extent I’ve never seen before, but somewhere, deep down, you were still living separate lives. No longer. From today on, you don’t have the Zelda life and the Link life, you have the…” She cast around for a good portmantau. “Zelink life.”
Link snorted. “Zelink? That’s the best you could come up with? I’d have gone with Linzel.” The three shared a quick laugh. “But I get your meaning. It’s more than just living together, it’s that we stood up and announced to everyone that we’re the only ones FOR each other.”
“Exactly, little voe! The two of you have chosen to be together, but more than that, you have chosen to cast all pretense to the wind and be open and clear about your feelings for one another! You’ve shown your courage in doing so, your wisdom in choosing fine partners, and you both clearly have the power to bring your happy lives to fruition.” Rhondson tossed back the last of her drink. “Quite suitable for the Royal Family of Hyrule, I do say.”
By the time the part wound down, it was just after midnight. Dinraal volunteered to take the Gorons home, while the Rito flew off under their own power, proudly rejecting any assistance. The Zora bid everyone a fond farewell and swam away up the various rivers, and the Sheikah merely hopped astride their horses and rode off, bidding the new couple farewell. Zelli, Naydra, and Farosh each gave a farewell roar and returned to the sky, and the newly wedded pair walked happily to their Akkala home.
Zelda sank back into the bed, having finally been able to change out of her wedding dress. “Ahhh…” She sighed in relief. “That dress is lovely, but it’s not made for comfort…” She stretched, feeling her joints pop as she did. “Well, Link? Would you say this was a good day?”
“One of the all-time best.” Link answered, sitting next to his wife (HIS WIFE!). “It was so good seeing everyone, and, of course, there’s you. The best woman in the world.”
“You dork!” Zelda giggled, leaning over and kissing him. “Hey, Link… we’re married now!” She said, smiling widely. “We’re husband and wife!” She hugged him, pulling him forward on top of her as she giggled happily. “It finally happened! We got married!” She pulled him into a very deep kiss as she laughed, delighted that the day had gone off without a hitch.
“We are! We’re married!” Link laughed, everything sinking in for him. “It actually happened! I’m Mr. Hyrule!”
“And I’m Mrs. ‘No-Last-Name-Recorded-But-I-Think-I-Remember-It-Being-Hateno!” Zelda answered, getting a big laugh from Link as they rolled around on the bed, embracing each other. “Link.” She suddenly turned quite serious.
“Yeah, Zelda?” Link answered, matching her mood, but not letting go of her just yet.
“KISS ME.” Zelda replied, leaning forward and pressing her forehead to his. “Kiss me, and keep going until we’re both sweaty, exhausted and completely satisfied.”
Link smiled devilishly. “As you wish, my Princess. I live to serve.” He seized his wife’s lips and fell forward with her onto the bed as they enjoyed their first night together as husband and wife.