Chapter Text
To: [email protected].
From: National Hurricane Center.
Red Weather Alert: Category 3 hurricane imminent. Hurricane Lyta is set to make landfall within 72 hours. Evacuation of all residents strongly advised.
Ring Ring…
Ring Ring…
“Ugh,” Regina grumbled, feeling around in the dark to find the switch to her lamp before she picked up her blaring cell phone, looking at the name on the screen.
Emma Swan.
“Why in the hell…” she sighed, hitting the green button on the screen and holding it to her ear. “Ms. Swan. Would you care to tell me what hell hath befallen us this time that would require you to call me at…”
She looked at the clock on her nightstand.
“Jesus Christ, Three in the morning ?!” she growled.
“I’m…I’m really sorry, Regina, I just…we kind of have…a situation,” Emma said nervously.
In the background, she could hear the faint sounds of Snow White panicking. She smirked.
“And she can’t handle it.” She chuckled.
“Regina please, this is…kind of…unprecedented…I think,” Emma said, unsure of herself. “We could use your advice.”
“... Advice ?” Regina asked. “I thought you were calling me because of some magical disaster.”
“No,” Emma said. “Just, uh…a non-magical, natural one.”
Regina shot up in her bed.
“What did you just say?”
“Category three! Regina! Three! ” Snow squealed loud enough that only dogs could hear.
“Yes, Snow. That’s the number that comes after two, but before four,” Regina said.
“Regina, this is no time for jokes!” Snow snapped. “What do we do?!”
Regina shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not the Mayor…anymore, at least.”
Snow made unintelligible, panicked noises, and Emma was suddenly close enough to Regina that she could almost taste the blonde’s magic.
“Regina, please,” Emma said gently. “This is no time for petty arguments. We’ve never dealt with anything like this. This isn’t something we can shoot magic or fireballs at. This is a real, not magical, very dangerous situation.”
Regina turned and looked at her, a smart-ass quip on the tip of her tongue. But she looked into those emerald green eyes that were pleading to her better nature, and damn it all to hell if it didn’t work.
She inhaled deeply and nodded to Emma silently.
“Thank you,” Emma whispered so quietly that Regina could only make out what she was saying by reading her lips.
“Okay.” She turned to Snow, commanding everyone’s attention to focus on her, in a way only she could. “First things first, you put out an urgent advisory. You need to tell everyone to get the hell out of town before the hurricane actually hits. You, Emma, and David will need to stay. All emergency personnel will need to as well.”
“Okay.” Snow nodded. “...Who’s the emergency personnel?”
“Oh my God,” Regina groaned. “Firefighters. Doctors. Nurses. EMTs. The police, of which there are only two so there’s very little they can actually do. But their presence will help. I’ll stay too and-”
“No,” Emma said, getting a glare from the brunette.
“Excuse me?”
“Regina, I know you want to help, and we all appreciate it, but…someone needs to get Henry out of here,” Emma said. “Someone needs to keep him safe. And…there’s no reason you should be in danger either.”
Regina’s brows lifted to her head. “Then you go!”
“You just said I needed to stay. I’m the Sheriff,” Emma said.
“I also said there’s only two of you and that there’s very little you can do,” Regina said. “I can’t drag Henry out of town without you. If something happens I’ll never… He’ll never forgive myse-me. He’ll never forgive me.”
“I’ll talk to him before you go, he’ll understand. He’s not a little kid anymore,” Emma said.
“Oh my God, David!” Snow turned to her husband. “Neal!”
“Emma…” David said, stealing his daughter’s attention. “Why don’t you go? I’ll take over. You should be there for Regina a-and Henry!”
Regina raised a brow at him, but he carried on steadily.
“And you can take Neal,” he said. “Someone needs to look after him.”
“So you go, and I’ll stay with Mom-”
“No,” David shook his head. “I have always stuck beside your mother, and I’m not about to stop that now.”
“But what if…what if…” Emma swallowed thickly, clenching her shaking hands into fists. She barely noticed that Regina slipped her hand around her left fist to anchor her.
“If something happens to us?” David asked with a small, pained smile. “Well in that case…there’s no reason that two kids should lose a parent.”
“So Neal loses both?!” Emma demanded. “That’s not fair!”
“You’re more than capable-”
“Screw me !” Emma cried. “I don’t give a shit about me ! I’m talking about Neal !”
“Emma…” Snow said, walking around the desk in the Town Hall office and approaching her. “I know you’re worried, and I understand. But we have a duty to this town and we have to see to-”
“Psht,” Emma scoffed, shaking her head. “So, once again, you put your duty to the town or kingdom or whatever the fuck you want to call it, ahead of your duty to your kids.”
“Emma!” Snow gasped.
“Fuck it,” Emma said, turning to Regina. “Go home and pack a bag. I’ll meet you at your place in the morning. We’re getting our son and my brother and getting the hell out of here.”
Regina was uncertain how to react. On the one hand, she was glad Emma was going to be safe. On the other, however, she knew that she’d just relived a traumatic moment and was raging inside.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Emma had already turned and was walking out of the room.
“Emma, wait!” Regina called out, hearing her own words echoed by Snow white, who was now beside her. She turned to her, the coldness of death emanating from her glare. “I hope you’re happy.”
“You’re the one who said I needed to stay!” Snow shot back, causing Regina to sneer.
“All you had to do was say the word, Snow. I would have stayed, and you could go and be with your family,” she said. “But I guess that stupid little Mayor pin that you made yourself, which is hideous, by the way, is more important…Once again, you made the wrong choice and your children suffer the consequences.”
“First of all…my pin is not hideous,” Snow said. “And secondly, you just want a shot at being Mayor again.”
“Seriously?” Regina chuckled humorlessly. “Why the hell would I want the stress of running this town full of ingrates and degenerates? I did it for long enough. You’ll see soon enough, Snow. Being Mayor isn’t all you think it is.”
“Well I’ve had a pretty easy time so far.” Snow shrugged.
“Fine.” Regina smiled. “Then you enjoy dealing with a natural disaster. I have a family to take care of. Good night, Madame Mayor. ”
And with that, she walked out of the office, slamming the door shut behind her.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” was the first thing Regina asked when Emma showed up at her house with two suitcases and a diaper bag that was fit to burst, and baby Neal on her hip.
“No.” Emma shrugged. “But I don’t have a choice. Someone needs to take care of the kid.”
“Hey buddy!” Henry said happily from the foyer, rushing out and reaching for his baby uncle.
“Wenwy!” the toddler squealed happily. Henry carefully took him from Emma and cuddled him.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you inside from all this wind,” he said.
“Are you ready to go?” Emma asked.
“Not yet,” Regina said. “I…I need to check on Zelena…and…”
“Robyn.” Emma gave her a knowing smile. “I totally understand, Regina. Family is family. Even if there’s weird pasts involved.”
“Thank you,” Regina said with a grateful smile.
“Of course.” Emma nodded. “I should probably check on Ruby and Granny anyway. Ruby mentioned Mom’s been way too busy to even call lately.”
“The title of Mayor doesn’t leave much room for socialising,” Regina said. “Let’s go check on them and meet back here in an hour.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Emma nodded.
“Henry!” Regina called into the house.
“Yeah Mom?” Henry said, peering out of the kitchen, a Cheerio stuck to his cheek.
“Could you watch Neal? Your mother and I need to check on a couple of people before we go,” she said.
“Sure yeah I-”
Clang.
“Neal!” he groaned. “Why would you throw the…oh God it’s everywhere…”
“This is why he doesn’t get cereal anymore,” Emma called.
“Thanks for the head’s up!”
“Zelena?” Regina called out as she knocked on her sister’s door. It swung open in a matter of seconds.
“What are you doing here?” Zelena asked in a panicked tone.
“I came to check on you and Robyn,” Regina said. “The hurricane is coming.”
“I just heard on the news,” Zelena responded. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew and nearly knocked Regina off her feet, but her sister grabbed her by the wrist. “Come inside!”
The brunette was dragged into Zelena’s house before she even knew what hit her.
“Thanks.” Regina sighed. “You have to get out of here, Zee. You can’t risk staying. Especially out here in the farmlands.”
“Way ahead of you,” Zelena said, pointing to the three suitcases sitting by the door.
“Where are you heading?”
“The Adirondacks.”
“The what?” Emma asked. She’d just arrived at Granny’s Inn, and was standing in the Lucas’ apartment, looking at Granny, Ruby, and Belle.
“The Adirondacks,” Belle repeated. “It’s a mountain range in Northeastern New York. It’s far enough west of Maine that by the time this hurricane reaches it, it will have dwindled down. At worst, it will be a tropical storm. But I’ve been tracking Lyta’s path and it seems like it might miss it entirely and out to sea.”
“I…wh…what’s a ‘Lyta’?” Emma asked.
“Hurricane Lyta,” Belle answered.
“It’s the name of the hurricane.” Ruby added. “I don’t know why they name these things.”
“Easier to reference for the sake of historical records,” Belle answered.
“I love you, you big nerd,” Ruby said with a smile.
“You big dope,” Granny added. Belle rolled her eyes playfully at her girlfriend and turned back to Emma.
“We’ll be safe up there. Even by the roughest of estimations, the hurricane will miss us completely. And if it doesn’t, it will have gotten low enough that it will break on the mountainside. You should join us, Emma.”
“I mean, Regina and I haven’t really decided where we’re going yet,” Emma answered. “I guess the mountains are as good a place as any.”
“Text me if you decide to join us,” Ruby said.
“Yeah, yeah okay.” Emma nodded. “I’ll let you know as soon as I meet up with Regina.”
“Stay safe, Emma,” Granny said. “Don’t get blown over in that rusty ol’ heap of metal you call a car.”
“Why does everyone keep insulting my car? It’s a good car!”
“Yep.” Ruby nodded.
“Whatever you say,” Belle added.
“Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, kid.” Granny said, unhelpfully.
“Oh…just…go back to your knitting!” Emma said grumpily before she left the apartment.
“Psht, you’d think after all this time screwing Regina, she would have picked up some better insults,” Granny said.
“Uhm…what?” Belle asked.
“Granny thinks Emma and Regina are fucking,” Ruby responded. “I keep trying to tell her they aren’t.”
“Well they need to, then!” Granny answered. “They’re both wound up tighter than one of those monkey dolls with the cymbals.”
“Did she skip her meds today?” Belle whispered.
“I think she may have taken too many,” Ruby muttered back.
“I heard that, you two!”
“Sorry Granny!”
Back at the Mills’ Mansion.
“How’s Zelena?” Emma asked as she walked in through the front door.
“All packed up and ready to go,” Regina said. “She’s heading to some mountains in New York.”
Emma stopped in her tracks. “...The Adirondacks?”
“Yes,” Regina said, raising a brow. “How did you know? And how did you remember their name?”
Emma shrugged. “That’s where Ruby, Granny, and Belle are heading too. Belle suggested we join them.”
“Join them?” Regina’s brows lifted up curiously.
“It makes sense. It would be better to stick together. Besides, Zelena is going too…someone needs to stop her and Ruby from murdering each other.” Emma shrugged.
Regina inhaled deeply and nodded, pulling her phone out of her pocket.
“I’ll text Zelena to come over. You invite the Lucas trio.”
“Belle isn’t-”
“Oh please, she and Ruby might as well be married,” Regina scoffed. Emma thought about it for a moment and then shrugged, shooting a text to Ruby for them to come to the mansion.
Half an hour later.
“This wind is absolute murder on my hair!” Zelena complained as Regina let her in.
“Too bad a house didn’t fall on you,” Ruby quipped, getting a slap on her shoulder by Belle.
“Be nice.”
Regina took Robyn, safely snug in her car seat, from Zelena’s arms and went to put her down near the play-pen they’d set up for Neal in the guest bedroom upstairs as the redhead brushed her hair out of her face, her eyes landing on Ruby.
“...What the bloody hell are you doing here?” she asked.
“Well someone’s gotta hold the water bucket,” Ruby answered with a shit-eating grin.
“Please don’t start, you two,” Emma said emphatically. “We called you all here because you all had the same idea to go to the Adirondacks, so we thought it might be a good idea for us all to go together.”
“You want me to go on some kind of… emergency road trip with HER?! ” Zelena shrieked, pointing accusationally at Ruby.
“Hey, I’m not psyched about the idea either; you walking, talking, booger!”
“No. Nope.” Zelena shook her head. “Absolutely not ! I don’t want to get fleas !”
“The only green thing I like in this world is Granny’s pea soup.” Ruby crossed her arms over her chest.
“Of course you would, after all, it must taste better than dog food !” Zelena said. “Though given my experiences at the diner, I doubt there’s much difference.”
“ Excuse the fuck out of me?! ” Ruby growled. “You take that back, you fucking frog!”
“I shan’t,” Zelena said with a smirk, satisfied at having gotten under Ruby’s skin. She looked at Emma and was about to say something, when suddenly Ruby let out a war cry and leapt towards her, pinning her to the ground as hands started flying.
“I’ll kill you!”
“I’ll have you put down! They do that to vicious dogs!”
“Regina should have killed you when she had the chance!”
“Belle should keep you on a leash!”
“I’ll tie you up to a fucking pole and let the lightning get you, you rancid bitch!”
“You’re calling me a bitch? That’s a bloody laugh! Hey! Ow! Quit it!”
“What are you gonna cry, you little baby? Good, maybe your tears will melt your face off and then I’ll be able to stand looking at you! Fuck! Did you just kick me in the ribs? You little-”
“Guys!” Emma shouted, diving down and grabbing Ruby by the back of her shirt, pulling Zelena from the front of hers, and yanking them off of each other and onto their feet, standing in between them. “Enough!”
“She started it!” Zelena whined.
“And I’ll fucking end it, you asshole!”
“I said ENOUGH !” Emma shouted, silencing them both. “Now look, I don’t care whether you like it or not. We all need to stick together. Most of us here have some kind of magic. Leaving town isn’t going to be pretty for anyone. And we don’t know where the hurricane is heading.”
“Well, I do,” Belle muttered. “Within a small degree of error.”
“Not helping,” Emma responded, letting Zelena and Ruby go. “We’re all going to the mountains together. So you two can either sort out your differences or stay out of each other’s hair.”
“Or fur, in her case,” Zelena quipped, getting a death glare from Emma. “Sorry…it was right there.”
“What the hell is going on down here?” Regina said as she came down the stairs. “The babies are upset. I had to use magic to block out the noise and soothe them so they’d stop crying.”
“You made my baby cry?!” Zelena shrieked at Ruby.
“So did you!”
Emma positioned herself in between them again. “Don’t. You. Dare start shit up again! My baby brother is up there and he’s going through enough having to leave town without his parents. Either of you two upset him and I’ll make the hurricane look like a fucking tickle!”
They both froze, silencing themselves immediately. They’d all seen how ferocious Emma could be, how terrifying she was in her Dark One days. None of them dared anger her in the slightest.
“Sorry,” Ruby and Zelena said in unison.
“Thank you.” Emma sighed, turning to Regina. “Care to tell them your plan?”
“Of course,” Regina said with a small smile towards her as she approached the group. “The Adirondacks are only an 8 hour drive from here. Of course, we’ll need to account for traffic, we don’t know what kind of havoc is out there on the streets with everyone evacuating from our town and the surrounding areas. We should all go in the same vehicle, which means that we’ll need to take Zelena’s car.”
“Over my dead body am I letting mutts senior and junior in my precious wagon!” Zelena said, getting another glare from Emma and Regina.
“Your car is the biggest and can fit all of us,” Regina said.
“You’ll have to pull my car keys out of my cold, dead hands,” Zelena said, tucking her purse tightly under her arm.
Regina smirked as Emma stepped up beside the brunette.
“So?” Emma asked.
“Oh fine. You were right.” Regina sighed. “Happy now?”
“Yep.” Emma nodded, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a set of keys with a bright green keychain. “Here you go.”
Zelena’s eyes went wide.
“Are those…” She suddenly pulled open her purse and started looking around in it frantically before she gasped. “You stole my fucking keys!”
“Wasn’t that hard. I just needed the right distraction,” Emma said, shooting a wink over at Ruby, who grinned in response.
“You bitch !” Zelena shot at Ruby.
“Have you forgotten that I can totally eat you in your sleep?” Ruby asked. Zelena grumbled and fumed as Regina pocketed her keys.
“So, we’ll take Zelena’s car-”
“I am not paying for gas!” Zelena stated.
“And drive up to the Adirondacks,” Regina said, whipping out her credit card and holding it out towards Zelena. “And as thanks, you can choose the hotel. As nice and fancy as you want. You only have one rule - No tricks. Make sure everyone has a place to sleep. Everyone. If you try to mess with anyone, I’ll take the card back, and give whoever’s aggrieved your room.”
Zelena sighed, taking the card. “ Fine. But I’m booking the most expensive hotel I can find.”
“You thought I wouldn’t?” Regina scoffed, flipping her hair off her shoulder. “ Please. ”
“Alright, then.” Zelena nodded. “May I borrow your computer?”
“You can use the one in my office.” Regina said.
“What’s the password? 3mm@s A55?” Zelena asked teasingly. Ruby snorted, which won her a raised brow from Emma as Regina was still trying to decipher Zelena’s odd question.
“It’s Henry’s birthday,” she said, still not having figured it out. “What’s-”
“Nevermind. Give me some time, I’ll get it all done,” Zelena said, turning and walking towards Regina’s study.
“Alright, I’ll go start getting our bags in the car,” Emma said. “Henry!”
“Yeah?” Henry called from upstairs.
“Come help me get everyone’s bags in the car, kid,” she said. Suddenly, footsteps were heard.
“Are we all doing the road trip to the mountains?” he asked excitedly.
“Yes, dear. We are,” Regina answered.
“Hell yes!” he said, galloping down the stairs.
“No running down the- Oh forget it.” Regina sighed. “Lift with your knees, not your back.”
“Yeah, Mom, I know,” Henry said as Emma led him out of the door.
Regina gave him a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Hey,” Ruby said, walking into Regina’s study, towards the desk where Zelena was working on booking the hotel.
“What do you want, mutt?” Zelena asked in annoyance. “Spying on me?”
“Why would I spy on you?” Ruby raised a brow.
“To make sure I’m not doing anything funny with your hotel room,” Zelena answered with a shrug. “You don’t have to worry. Despite our differences, I do actually like Belle. And she’d be at best, annoyed, and at worst upset if you two don’t get to share a room together. So I’m being good, for her sake.”
“I can appreciate that.” Ruby nodded. “But that’s not why I’m here.”
“Then why are you here?” Zelena asked, smirking. “Let me guess, you want to drag your butt across Regina’s shag rug?”
Ruby snorted. “I’ll let you have that one, Zelena. Because what I’m here for is a cause that greatly outweighs whatever petty squabbles you and I have.”
“Ooh, look who’s been reading Belle’s books,” Zelena teased. “Very well, I’m listening.”
“I heard that joke you made to Regina…about her password?” Ruby raised a brow as she gave Zelena a knowing look.
“The one that flew so far over her head she couldn’t even see it?”
“The very same.”
“What about it?” Zelena asked.
“Well, it seems to me that you know Regina pretty well. And you wouldn’t have made that joke if you thought it wouldn’t hold any weight with her,” Ruby hypothesised.
“You’re correct.”
“Well, I know Emma .” Ruby smirked. “And I know for a fact that she has the same hidden feelings towards Regina as you believe Regina has for her.”
Zelena raised a brow. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
“We’re going to be out of town for a while. Belle thinks we’ll be gone for at least a week, given all the semantics. Which means we’ll be stuck with each other for that whole time, Now that we’ve gotten roped into travelling together…”
Ruby leaned over the desk, pressing her palms into the wooden surface.
“I say…let’s have some fun with it.”
“You want to play matchmaker with Emma and Regina,” Zelena stated. “Which could have two outcomes. Either Emma and Regina pull their heads out of their respective arses and finally get together, which would result in me being able to brag about it, and also we no longer have to deal with their dopey grins and doe-eyes… or it would cause a great deal of awkwardness which would be entirely too entertaining to watch.”
“You read my mind.” Ruby smirked.
“Alright, I’m in,” Zelena said, standing from the chair. “But if we’re going to do this, we have to call a truce. I won’t make any more dog quips, and you stop joking about my green skin…which isn’t even green anymore.”
“Deal,” Ruby said, holding her hand out. “And I’ll also stop joking about how you riding a broom is the only way you can ever get any action.”
Zelena raised a brow at her. “I didn’t know you joked about that.”
“I mean, it’s pretty low hanging fruit,” Ruby said with a half-shrug.
Zelena inhaled deeply and then sighed. “I suppose that’s fair enough. You have a deal.”
Zelena grabbed Ruby’s hand, shaking it firmly.
“Perfect.” Ruby smirked. “But we can’t act suspicious around the rest of the group. So we’ll have to at least pretend to argue from time to time, just to keep up the act.”
“That will be easy,” Zelena said. “So…how do you propose we start?”
Ruby grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”