Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Thursdays had adopted Endeavour when he was twelve.
That was six years ago and their boy had grown, he was still skinny but if he held his head up, he was slightly taller than Fred. By the kitchen door, were the pencil lines where Win had kept track of the children’s heights through the years since they had moved to Oxford.
Sam Thursday, aged nine, was looking up at the pencil marks while he tied on his football boots, he stood up and the studs on the bottom gave him a bit more height and he grinned to himself.
“What on earth are you doing, Sam?” Win laughed, walking out of the kitchen to check on the youngest who had been quiet for a little more than ten minutes, “I’m afraid wearing football boots for height is cheating.”
Sam laughed and did a sort of backwards skip away from the doorframe. He took off his football boots then went back to looking at the markings that had in the last few days become something of interest to him. Win would usually tell him to run along and play outside or be helpful somewhere but currently his playing and being helpful involved ‘helping’ Endeavour pack his things for university.
One of the proudest moments of Fred and Win’s life, was when Endeavour gained a full scholarship to read Greats at Oxford and he was moving there the next morning, Fred would drive him to his rooms. It was all quite emotional and Win was preparing a nice evening meal for them all to enjoy together. Their Endeavour would visit of course, but things were changing and he was growing up and flying their nest all too soon. 
Endeavour and Fred walked downstairs, carrying a box of books each, Joan following behind them carrying a pile of records and looking through them with a frown.
“Don’t you listen to anything decent?” the fourteen-year-old complained with an almost laugh to her older brother.
“I could ask you the same.” Endeavour replied, setting his box down in the hallway. “Thanks dad.” he nodded to Fred as he was handed the box their father was carrying, he put it down beside his record player and the other boxes he had already packed ready to be loaded into the car the next morning.
Endeavour then turned his attention to Joan and looked through the records with her.
“Here, you like this one, remember.” He smiled, handing her a single, “Rosalind Stromming's Un Bel Di. It’s one of my best, so you have to look after it for me.”
Secretly pleased, Joan nodded and accepted the record when she handed him the pile of the rest.
“What can I have?!” Sam demanded, rushing over and starting to rummage through the boxes.
“Sam, those are his books.” Fred told him.
“Tea!” Win called out to the family from the kitchen. “Joan! Sam, come and set the table!”
Joan set the record down on the stairs to take up later and then went to the kitchen. Sam remained in the hallway, now on his hands and knees, scrabbling around the boxes. 
“Can I have this!” Sam asked, picking up a book at random and holding it out to his brother.
“I don’t think you’ll like that one, Sam.”
“Yes I will! You can read it to me!” Sam insisted, trying to cling to the book as Fred took it and passed it back to Endeavour. 
"Please 'Deavour!" 
“It’s the dictionary, not a story.” The older brother chuckled and the younger brother’s face fell.
“Go do as your mother asks.” Fred said firmly and the little boy sighed and went to the dining room.
“He’ll just miss you, that’s all.” Fred said, patting Endeavour on the shoulder and watching as Endeavour knelt down to put the book back in the box and then quickly checked the rest of the boxes.
“If you’ve forgotten anything I can drive it round or you can just pop over and collect it, we’re not clearing your room out as soon as you walk out that door.” Fred reassured him and was rewarded with a lopsided smile from his lad.
“I know, just. You know….I don’t want to be the only one rushing back home all the time, they’ll all think I’m a child.”
Fred nodded at the young man he still looked at as a little boy, understanding how anxious and misplaced he felt.
“You’ve as much right to be there as the next man. More! Brains like yours?!” Fred told him firmly. When Endeavour nodded with some uncertainty, Fred pulled him into a rare hug and then almost laughed at himself.
“I remember carrying you down these stairs.” he smiled, holding him.
“Only because my leg was broken.” Laughed Endeavour, his laugh still boyish and light but then he was suddenly serious.
“I’m grateful, dad. That you and Ma took me in. That you all took me in.”
Fred shook his head, not needing or wanting any thanks.
“Come on now, Son. Let’s get you fed. Your ma’s worried you’ll not eat enough at Oxford so make sure to have second helpings.” 
That laugh again.
Fred smiled. 

Chapter Text

Endeavour was in his room reading to Sam. Sam was cuddled up to his brother, listening with wide eyes despite having heard the story before. Endeavour glanced over to the doorway where Joan was sitting on the floor pretending that she wasn’t listening. He smiled and continued with the story. 

“You’ll probably have to take over reading to him once I’ve left.” Endeavour told her once Sam had fallen asleep.
"He's old enough to read himself now but I suppose I can read a chapter or two if he's desperate."
"Thanks Joan." Endeavour whispered with a knowing look. Sam wasn't very interested in books. He liked sports and wasn't failing any of his subjects but he was not keen on school, preferring to spend his time playing and his elder siblings helped him a lot with his reading and homework. 
The two of them still tended to baby Sam, taking their responsibilities as older brother and sister very seriously.
Endeavour placed a bookmark into their worn copy of The Hobbit and passed it to Joan then he picked up Sam with a bit of difficulty and carried him through to his own bedroom, placing him carefully into his own bed.
Joan tucked him in then the two quickly left Sam’s room before he could wake up and ask for another chapter.
“I wish you didn’t have to leave home.” Joan admitted as she was quietly looking around his bedroom; the book shelves seemed very empty, though it was still very much Endeavour’s room. Anything he wasn't taking with him in its place and the wardrobe still half filled with his things, various records, photos, newspapers and other things left around the room ready for him to come back to at any time.
“I’ll be back most weeks.” He promised her.
“So mum can make sure you’ve had a good meal?” She laughed.
Endeavour nodded in agreement.
“Still, we’ll miss you. It’s not going to be the same.”
“No. We'll be alright though.”
“I’ll look after Sam.” Joan told him earnestly.
“And Ma and Dad?” Endeavour asked.
“‘Course I will.”
“Thank’s Joanie.”
Joan gave him a hug and then waved as she left the room.
“Night Dev.” She smiled and turned off the bedroom light then rushed off to her own room.
Endeavour laughed and rolled his eyes then turned the light back on. He still had a few more things to sort out and pack. He wrote a letter to send to Joyce Morse; his sister who still lived with his father and stepmother; just a note to let her know she could still write to him at the Thursday's address and he would try to see her at Christmas as he did most years.

Breakfast the next morning reminded Endeavour of his first day of Grammar school when he moved to Oxford and in with the Thursdays.
They were sitting as a family at the table, Fred gave the impression of reading his newspaper, though actually he was watching his family over it.
Endeavour knew that he could have left for his new rooms at Oxford the previous night, but he wanted to spend as much time with his family as he could before he left and he wanted to try and slip away without making a fuss.
Fred had taken Monday morning off work to help Endeavour move to halls. Sam was quite cross not to be allowed to miss school for the morning.
"But my brother is leaving home!" he protested. "And I've got double maths. I shouldn't have to go to school."
Joan stayed quiet about it all.
Win passed Endeavour a plate of toast and sighed.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything more, love?”
“Can I have some more toast please, Mum?” Sam asked with his mouthful, reaching out for Endeavour’s plate.
Win gently pushed his hand away and Sam laughed.
“Sam, you've got Jam on your jumper.” Joan rolled her eyes and took a sip of her tea while she finished some last minute homework.
Morse struggled to eat his slice of toast but had two cups of tea. Everything had already been packed into the car the previous evening.
Win handed Joan her lunch in a paper bag. Sam would be having a cooked lunch at school but she gave him an apple to put into his school satchel to eat at playtime.
“I’ll walk you to school, Sam.” Endeavour offered.
“Wait for me, I’m just finishing this, you can walk me to my bus!” Joan said, quickly finishing the paper she was writing and shoving it into her schoolbag. Fred raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything.
“Are you coming dad?” Sam asked, allowing his mother to brush his hair flat with her hand.
“No, you three go on ahead, I’ll have a cup of tea with your mother.” Fred told them calmly.
Joan gave their father a kiss on the cheek and then rushed out.
Win was at the doorway, brushing Endeavour’s hair with her hand now. Joan watched, amused as he lowered his head so that she could reach him more easily.
“Come on, we’ll be late.” Joan laughed, grabbing her coat and rushing out of the door, putting her arm around Sam and starting the walk. Endeavour caught up easily and soon he was giving Sam a piggyback.
“So you won’t be home when I get back?” the youngest asked quietly.
“No, I’ll be at university.” Endeavour confirmed.
“But he’ll be back to visit lots, won’t you Dev?”
“Yes. You know that.”
Sam held onto Endeavour even more tightly and when they arrived at the gates of the school playground he lent against them sadly. The only child left, his sister and brother both teenagers now and his brother off to university. Some small part of him felt betrayed that they had grown up. He pulled a face and sniffed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. 
"I'm not crying." he informed his siblings. 
"We know." Endeavour told him gently, patting him on the shoulder. 
“I’ll pick you up from school, there’s an ice cream in it for you.” Joan promised Sam.
The little boys eyes smiled though his face remained glum. He moved forward and hugged Endeavour tightly.
“Best go in.” Endeavour told him gently, though he didn’t move away or stop the hug. Finally Sam let go and then after a moments thought he gave Joan a quick hug before running off through the playground.

Endeavour and Joan walked quietly to her bus stop.
When they got there, they sat down on the bench and he looked up at the grey sky.
“Not exactly weather for ice cream.” Endeavour commented, looking in his pockets and then handing her a few coins to pay for the ice cream later.
“It makes him smile, so.” Joan shrugged. Nodding in thanks and putting the money into her school bag.
The bus arrived and Joan gave him a quick hug and then stood in the doorway of the bus.
“Call us, won’t you? Later tonight.”
“Come along now, Miss.” The bus conductor called out.
"Joan!" Called out Joan's friend Sandra.
A small group of Joan's friends peered out of the window, giggling. 
“Bye then.” Joan smiled, giving him another hug and then skipping to her seat where her friends were waiting for her.
Endeavour waved and waited until the bus was out of site then he slowly walked home.

The breakfast things had been packed up. Fred was in the living room, in his chair looking thoughtful.
Endeavour sat on the arm of the chair and put his arm around his dad who smiled and patted his hand.
“Have you time for a cup of tea?” Win asked.
"'Course." 
The three of them sat together with cups of tea, the teapot and a plate of biscuits on a tray on the table.
“I’ve packed a few things for you.” Win told him, handing him a paper bag: Inside there was a box of Happy families chocolates, some apples, a packet of biscuits and a sandwich wrapped in brown paper.
“Thanks Ma.” Endeavour smiled warmly giving her a hug. He quickly opened the chocolate box and took the playing card out and put it on the table for Sam who still collected them. He popped a chocolate into his mouth and grinned, offering the box to his parents.
“No, they’re for you.” Win laughed. “Save them, perhaps share them with any new friends that you make.”
He responded with an uncertain smile and nod.
They fell back into an easy, comfortable silence until the tea was finished.
Endeavour took the cups to the kitchen and washed them, then looked through the living room door at his parents.
“Shall we get going then?” Fred asked.
Win stood up and gave Endeavour a big hug then flattened his hair with her hand again like she had done for him and Sam earlier.
“Look after yourself, love. Give us a call tonight and remember we’re here if you need anything.” she told him, reaching up and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Endeavour nodded and allowed her to hug him again.
Win waved from the door as Fred and Endeavour got into the car and drove away. 

Endeavour looked out of the window for almost the entire journey to his halls. It didn’t take too long to get there.
“Don’t be nervous.” Fred told him, glancing over at his son when he parked the car. “You stand tall, my lad. You’ve worked hard to get here.”
They signed in and then began to move Endeavour’s things from the car to his new room:
The room was small but larger than his bedroom at home. The bed was raised with a ladder to get up to it with a small wardrobe underneath it. A wooden desk and shelves were built into the wall and there was a sink with a mirror in the corner and another cupboard beneath that. The bathroom was down the corridor, along with a small shared kitchen, though most meals were to be taken out or in the hall with his fellow students. 
“Nice.” Fred commented, looking around the room and putting Endeavour’s record player on the desk and his suitcase near the wardrobe, then he went to collect some more things.
When Fred walked in with another box, Endeavour was standing on the desk already putting books onto the shelf. His record player already on with a record quietly playing.
“There’s a phone at the end of the corridor and a phone box outside.”
“I know, I already checked.” Endeavour mumbled, jumping down and starting to sort out his desk.
"Be careful, Endeavour." Fred told him, quite sharply. Thinking of the scars on Endeavour's leg. They gave him hardly any trouble but Fred still sometimes remembered the little boy in hospital, having to go through multiple operations and months of pain. 
"Don't fuss, Dad." Endeavour smiled. "And it's Morse, remember?" he asked his father. Years of teasing and bullying at school meant that Endeavour was reluctant to use the name his mother gave him. He loved her too much to hate the name but he didn't want to share it with anyone he didn't love.
His friend Max had taken to calling him simply 'Morse'. So that was his name, and Morse was who he would be at university. 
"Sorry, Morse." Fred replied quietly. Something in him unsettled but relieved that his son was calling himself Morse because of what his friend Max had called him rather than because of one Cyril Morse who didn't even seem to cross Endeavours mind other than occasional moments of upset and worry. 

Morse sat down at his desk and took the paper bag of things Win had given to him and took his sandwich, offering half of it to Fred.
“No thanks, son.” hummed Fred as he sat down on the only other chair besides the desk chair Endeavour was already sitting on. He checked his watch.
“Do you need to be going?” Endeavour asked and it struck Fred that he didn’t know he was wanted there or not.
He felt uncomfortable here, though tried not to show it. He was proud of how clever his boy was but this was so far from his world.
Endeavour opened the already opened box of chocolates and offered them to him.
“I’ve saved your favourite.” he shrugged.
Fred smiled, touched by the gesture. The chocolates used to cause fights between Joan and Sam who collected the cards. Only Sam collected them now. But the chocolates were still a hit with all the family- a Saturday afternoon film on the telly. It was a real treat. Though it was seldom that Fred was able to enjoy his very favourite chocolate - the kind that there was always only one in the box.
Endeavour pushed the box towards him and Fred took the chocolate and ate it.
“I’d offer you tea, but I don’t know about that shared kitchen.” Endeavour chuckled.
“Not to worry. I’ll have a cup down at the nick.” He checked his watch again and stood up.
Endeavour stood up quickly, holding out his hand to shake Fred's.
Fred kindly ignored Endeavour’s hand but patted him on the shoulder.
“Oh here, some coins for the telephone. Stamps. Whatever you need.” Fred mumbled, passing him a handful of coins. 
“Thanks Dad.”
“No trouble at all.” he told him.
They stood for a moment, just looking at each other.
“I’ll call. Later tonight.” Endeavour promised.
"Right. Cheerio, then.” Fred nodded. 
“Bye.” Endeavour whispered, his voice shaking slightly.
As Fred was leaving the room he turned back to look at his boy and gave him a confident smile that Endeavour subconsciously mirrored.
“Mind how you go.”

Chapter Text

Endeavour stopped singing in his school choir not long after his voice changed.
He was fourteen and in his fourth year at the grammar school. The change in his voice had come slowly and he almost didn’t notice it. Until one day his voice squeaked and within a few short weeks he couldn’t reach the high notes that had once been so easy.
His friend Max, who was sixteen and in his last year at the grammar school gave him a sympathetic pat on the back and glared at the younger ones who dared giggle during a choir practice as Morse’s voice rasped and the clear tones changed to squeaky little rumbles of what promised to one day be a fine voice.
Unthreatened by Max, who was kind to them all, the younger voices of the choir nodded and offered Endeavour friendly smiles as he moved to stand beside Max to start trying to learn some of the lower harmonies.
When Endeavour lost that voice, he lost some of the joy in his singing. He didn’t really understand the loss and a lot of him felt pleased with the change, he felt grown up…But his mother never got to hear his grown up voice. So losing his voice felt in some way like losing another part of her.

“How about joining the choir? There are several we could try out for.”
Eighteen-year-old Endeavor, No, Morse, spoke out to the two others in the common room, holding onto the leaflet of student activities tightly in his hands.
“Choir? No fear!” came the cheerful voice of Antony Donn who was lying across a sofa, reading a book.
Before Endeavour could even ask why, Antony answered ;
“Can’t hold a tune, chap. No, choirs are not for me. I don’t even sing in church!”
Endeavour smiled fondly at Antony who quickly became bored with whatever it was that he was reading, so slammed the book shut and then selected another from the wobbling tower of books balanced on the table.
Bruce was sitting on the windowsill, looking bored.
“Not for me.” he said simply.
“Oh, alright. Perhaps another time.” Endeavour mumbled, folding the leaflet and putting it into his pocket.
“I thought we might try rowing,” Antony commented.
“You?” Bruce laughed, looking at both of the smaller men. "You need some strength for rowing. You probably can't even swim." 
“We could play croquet?” Antony offered.
Endeavour smiled, remembering reading Alice in Wonderland when he was younger and the game of croquet between Alice and the Queen of Hearts.
“Alright.” Bruce said standing up and then practically hauling Antony off the sofa. “Whoever loses buys the first round at the pub.”
Antony laughed and allowed himself to be dragged from the room.
“Come along Pagan!” Bruce called out.
Endeavour checked his pockets quickly, checking how much money he had. He couldn’t really afford to keep buying rounds.
Antony and Bruce seemed to have unlimited funds but Endeavour did not. He needed to win the game if he wanted to enjoy his drink at all.
Antony was fairly skilled at the game. Endeavour expected he had grown up playing it.
The closest Endeavour had been to that was perhaps reading about it or playing some cricket in the back garden with Fred, Sam and Joan.
“Morse!” Bruce called impatiently.
“Yes!” Endeavour called out.

Endeavour enjoyed going to lectures and enjoyed time spent studying in the libraries. Sometimes he avoided the common room, with Bruce smoking and teasing, all with a clap on the back and a “Lighten up, fellow!” and Antony, who though kind and good fun, it bothered Endeavour that Antony seemed sometimes not to bother with studying at all. There were always so many friends and acquaintances. Too many to get to know. 
Antony always had something better and more fun to do. It was the same with Bruce. Always a new camera or record, a new film to see at the cinema and a new game to play. Endeavour couldn’t afford to play games....
But he didn’t dislike them and there were worse people to share a space with. Despite Bruce’s teasing and laddish bullying, they continued to invite him and include him in what they were doing. So Endeavour set aside afternoons and evenings whenever he could to spend time with his new friends, finding common ground wherever he could despite feeling so different.

He had called home on that first night as promised, then waited a week before calling again.
He agreed with his parents that he would call home at least once a week and visit home every other Saturday or Sunday and stay for dinner.
“Don’t overwork yourself.” Win said gently, passing him a cup of tea as the family sat in the living room after dinner.
Endeavour looked up from the book that he was reading and nodded in thanks. "I'm not. I just have to get this reading done." he smiled, he was quite enjoying it.
It was Saturday evening and the family were gathered in the living room to watch a film that was showing on television. Joan was sitting beside her brother, with a box of chocolates and helping herself to them.
“Save some for Sam.” Win reminded her. The Happy Family card was already on the table waiting for Sam but even now at ten years old he wasn’t as interested in the card as he was in the chocolate.
As if aware that he was being spoken about, the youngest Thursday appeared in the doorway, in his pyjamas and dressing gown, with his hair still wet and sticking up in all directions from being washed. He was ready to go straight to bed once the film was over.
Spying the box of chocolates the little boy leapt onto the sofa to grab them.
“Hand them over, Fatty!” Sam laughed, grabbing her to try and push her from the sofa.
“Careful!” Win warned them all but the teacup in Morse’s hand had already been knocked over.
“Sorry!” Sam shouted quickly. Joan gave him a little push and the smallest tumbled from the sofa dramatically.
Endeavour stood up quickly, hot tea spilled all down his front and over his book.
Sam made more of a fuss about this than Endeavour and immediately began to cry. Then he cried even more when he noticed that Joan was holding back a laugh.
Win took hold of her little one's hand and led him upstairs to bed. 
She returned a few minutes later.
“I told him you’d be up to say goodnight to him in a few minutes.” She told Endeavour who was wiping at his shirt with a teatowel. “Poor Sam, he’s tired. He’s been that excited to see you that he’s hardly slept since you phoned!”
“He’s getting too old to act like such a baby.” Endeavour commented grumpily, sitting back down on the sofa and picking up his book again, luckily it was just a bit tea-stained and not completely ruined.
“He’s only ten!” Joan frowned, defending Sam. “He was just excited for the film and the chocolates, that’s all. He didn’t mean anything by it. You don't have to be so serious”
“I never acted like that when I was ten.” Endeavour scowled. “When I was ten, I looked after myself.”
Fred watched, worried where this conversation might be heading.
“Of course you did.” Joan shook her head, trying to look understanding “Your parents couldn’t look after you, that’s why you came to live with us and…” she mumbled, her still childish understanding of a brief conversation she had with Fred when she was eight years old and Endeavour first came to live with them; a little boy with a broken leg.
“That’s enough Joan.” Fred said quickly, putting down his pipe and watching Endeavour for his reaction.
“My mum could look after me.” Morse said defensively. “She looked after me very well.”
Joan seemed to realise she had struck a nerve and went silent.
“Endeavour….Sorry, I…”
He just pushed past her.
“I’m going to go and say goodnight to Sam.” he said, his voice shaking slightly.

“Are you fighting?” Sam asked with sleepy interest when Endeavour knocked on the door and walked into the small room.
“No.” Endeavour replied, sitting down on Sam’s bed to tuck him in.
“Sorry I knocked over your tea.”
“Sorry you missed the film.”
“That’s alright.” Sam said bravely. “It's not a cowboy film or a pirate film anyway. Is everyone upset with me?”
“Not at all.” Endeavour promised.
“Oh. Alright.” The little boy said easily. Accepting any forgiveness simply and with a smile. 
“Are you staying over tonight? Will you be here in the morning?”
“Yes but I have to go after breakfast.”
Sam grinned. In his mind that was plenty of time.
“You need to go to sleep now, though. Okay?”
The ten-year old nodded. Blinking tiredly anyway, Endeavour smiled. Sam really had stayed up all of the previous night so excited to see him.
“I’m proud to be your big brother, Sam.”
“Why?” Sam frowned but then laughed, wriggling around under the covers “I’m naughty and Joanie says I’m a pain”
“Oh! You are.” Endeavour laughed, tucking him into bed “But we still love you.”
Sam smiled contentedly.
“Night then, ‘Deavour. I really am sorry about your book.”
“It’s alright. Night Sam.”
He ruffled his younger brother's hair and left the room.
Any anger he felt towards Sam and Joan faded away almost instantly and he walked down the stairs, thinking about how much they had all grown in the years he had been with them.
Endeavour was stressed; with his workload and upcoming exams as well as the apparent apathy of his new friends who didn’t have to keep their grades up in order to be able to continue at university. Though he felt unsettled by Joan’s words. He had always felt like such a part of the Thursday family that to suddenly be reminded that he didn’t grow up with them all made him feel uneasy, as well as a guilty feeling for almost forgetting the life that he had when he was younger with Constance Morse. She had been a wonderful mother to him.
Morse tapped his pockets and then went out to the back garden, taking a box of cigarettes and matches then lighting one for himself. He heard the door closing and then Fred was standing beside him, his pipe in his hand.
“Everyone smokes at university.” Morse commented.
“Doesn’t suit you.” Fred replied.
“Well. I try to fit in.” Morse shrugged.
A few moments of silence. 
“Have you heard from Max recently?” 
Endeavour shrugged again “A letter or two since I started at Oxford. He’s in London.”
“I know, training to be a doctor like his grandfather.”
“His father was a doctor too. Died in the war, I think.” Morse mumbled, remembering the first time he had ever met Max, in the park the day before school started.
“You should write to him, phone him. You were lucky to have a friend like Max at school but university has been different hasn’t it?”
“I’ve got friends, they’re just….It’s not really what I expected.
“Not much is.” Fred sighed.
Endeavour dropped his cigarette to the floor and stamped it out, then went inside.

“Endeavour.” Joan mumbled looking guilty. “I didn’t mean anything, I’m so sorry….”
“It’s alright.” Endeavour shrugged, allowing her to hug him.
One day he would talk to her properly about his past, when she was a bit older. He would show her the framed photo of Constance Morse he kept hidden away in a treasure box that Win had given to him when he first became a Thursday.

Breakfast the next day was relaxed and Morse phoned Max for a chat and promised that he would try and write more.
Sam insisted on playing some cricket in the back garden;
“Oh please, Dev! Joan’s a useless bowler!”
Morse promised to teach Sam how to play croquet if he came to visit him at the university.
“Sure you don’t need a lift?” Fred asked. 
He had joined his sons in the game of cricket but now it was time for Endeavour to go back to get some work done before his lectures the next day.
“No, I’ll get the bus. You keep playing.” Morse smiled, patting his Dad on the shoulder.
“Bye!” Sam shouted cheerfully, getting ready to bat. “Come on Dad! Throw the ball.”
Fred smiled, nodded and went back to the game.
Endeavour went inside and collected his books and overnight bag, and Win handed him a packed lunch for later. He kissed his Ma on the cheek and shook his head as she started talking to him about looking after himself and making sure he was eating enough.
“Bye then.” Joan said, standing on the stairs so that she was almost as tall as him.
“Bye Joanie.” He smiled, letting her know he wasn’t upset or angry with her as he had been the previous night.
“Call us all in the week?”
“Of course. I’ll not visit for a little while, I’ve got lots of work to do. But before you know it, it will be the Christmas holidays and I’ll be home for two weeks.”
Joan gave him a hug and waved as he left.

Chapter Text

It was the last day of the University term before the Christmas holidays and despite a lot of work that he needed to do, Endeavour was looking forward to going home.
Antony Donn had invited him to stay with his family and join them on a holiday - Endeavour was touched but turned down the offer.
“That’s alright, there’s always Summer.” Antony told him "Thought I’d ask you first, though.” he said kindly as he grabbed some books at random from the ever growing collection that had accumulated on the coffee table. 
“Feels very Christmas-y” Antony said cheerfully, looking out of the window of the common room, he was waiting for one of his family's cars.
They seemed to be the last two left on campus. Bruce had disappeared home the day before lectures ended, leaving them a note telling them to be ready for the pub in the New Year.
A posh looking car arrived outside and Morse smiled, seeing how excited his friend looked. Antony practically skipped away from the window and then grinned at Morse.  
“Happy Christmas then. Are you sure we can’t give you a lift home?” Antony asked, picking up his small suitcase that was waiting by the door.
“No, thank you. I’ve got to go to town quickly to get some Christmas presents."
Antony nodded, gave a wave and left.
Morse picked up his old school satchel and carrier bag of his things. He was reluctant to leave his record player behind but he would make do with the one in the living room or borrowing Joan’s. Checking his watch he had an hour or so before the shops shut. He checked that the door to his room was locked and then rushed into town.
Town was busy, mostly students it seemed and a few families, shopping for Christmas presents.
The first shop that he went into was the toy shop: Sam was easy to shop for. Endeavour checked his savings then looked around. He had spoken to Win earlier in the week and knew that Sam would already be getting a Meccano set. Endeavour looked around avoiding anything too noisy or any board games that he and Joan would end up having to play with him. He was going to get him some more army men but then he saw a stuffed toy parrot; Sam was still very interested in pirates so it was perfect.
Joan was more difficult to shop for now. She was fourteen and he doubted that she would be interested in anything from the toy shop, though he still had a look at the dolls house furniture and the stuffed animals. Her beloved knitted chicken from Aunt Renee all those years ago still sat on her bed and she still had her dolls house, though now as well as little furniture and wooden dolls, the little rooms also stored lipstick, little bottles of nail varnish and makeup she had managed to get hold of despite their parents objections, sweets, notes passed between her friends at school that she deemed important, things like that.
Endeavour sighed and then smiled before choosing a small teddy with a blue checked ribbon tied around its neck. She was still his little sister, after all. Despite how much she insisted she was grown-up. He got the same bear with a red ribbon to send to Joyce.
At the counter he grabbed two bags of chocolate coins and another little toy car for Sam, then paid a little extra for everything to be wrapped and left with the gifts in a paper bag.
He went into the newsagents and got Fred a packet of his usual tobacco and a box of handkerchiefs. Then a box of chocolates for Win.
In the second hand book shop he found a copy of Emily Dickinson poems for Joan and then a book of fairy tales with beautiful illustrations. He smiled at a memory of his Ma - He still called her Mrs Thursday, then -  when he was thirteen years old and off from school ill with a bad cold. She had cuddled him and read to him from a similar book, caring for him with as much love as she did little Joanie and Baby Sam. - Endeavour got the book without hesitation. It was a perfect present for his Ma to go along with the chocolates.
Then he went into the grocers and got a bag of oranges as Win had requested during their phone call, some apples, mince pies, gingerbread and a carrot (for Sam to leave for Father Christmas’s reindeer)
Gentle snow was falling now and it was getting dark, so slowly, carrying his many parcels and bags, Endeavour started the walk home.

Joan was waiting, looking out of the upstairs front window…
When she saw her brother walking towards the house she flung the window open and called down to Endeavour:
“You there, boy! What day is it?”
He rolled his eyes
“You’re not supposed to be in Dad and Ma’s room.” he called back up.
“No!" She sighed loudly  "You’re supposed to say ‘Why, it’s Christmas day, Sir!’
He laughed, squinting at her he noticed she was wearing lipstick and makeup: She’d been at Win’s vanity then. Win had probably agreed she could try on some lipstick so Joan was pushing her luck.
Endeavour sighed and laughed before copying her, putting on a voice as well, seeing as it was just them.
Joan clapped her hands, giving him a round of applause and then rushed downstairs to open the door for him.
She helped him carry through the bags of oranges and shopping while he rushed upstairs to put his things and the presents in his room away from Sam who would want to help but also was likely to want to look through everything.
“Hello, Love!” Win called from the kitchen as Endeavour walked back downstairs. She was making tea and he smiled as he walked in to see her.
“Thank you for getting those bits from the shop, we won't starve on Christmas day.” she half laughed as she put everything away then walked back to the stove to check on the soup.
“Need any help?” he offered, just as he had done since he was twelve.
“Not with the tea, love, no. It’s almost done but Sam’s put himself in charge of decorating the tree so you might want to make sure that’s going alright.”

The living room was decorated with paper chains made by Joan and Sam. The wireless was on and Christmas music was playing softly.
Endeavour stood in the doorway to take in the scene: Joan was lying on the Sofa, tapping her feet in time to the music, watching her little brother with amusement.
Sam was staring up at the tree holding tightly to the Christmas star tree topper.
Fred was sitting in his chair, smoking his pipe and watching his youngest problem solve.
“‘Deavour!” Sam suddenly shouted and Morse was invited into the warmth.
Within a few minutes Sam was on Endeavour’s shoulders, wobbling as they attempted to get the Star on top of the tree. Joan was laughing so much she was snorting and rushed to Endeavour’s side, slightly worried that Sam would crash down onto the coffee table she held her arms out to catch him if needed.
There was a blink of light and Endeavour turned round. Fred was standing now, camera in hand.
“Dad!” Endeavour and Joan complained.
Fred chuckled to himself, Joan and Sam started laughing too. They had the same laugh.
“Smile then.” Fred told his children.
Sam bared his teeth and grinned, Joan turned to the side and did a pose, Endeavour gave his lopsided smile. Another photo was taken, and the star made it safely to the top of the tree.
Win called them all through to the dining room for dinner.
There was so much excited chatter, about Christmas, presents, food, songs, books...everything. Endeavour didn’t have to say much. He just ate his soup and listened happily. He hadn't realised how much he had missed this. 
“Endeavour’s going to read us A Christmas Carol again.” Joan announced. “Well, we’ll all read some but he’s starting it.”
This hadn’t been planned but it had become something of a tradition for quite a few years since Endeavour had joined the family.
Fred smiled over at his lad and Endeavour smiled back.
Sam began chattering excitedly about the story.
“You need to be ready for bed first, young man.” Win reminded him.
“Yes, mum.” Sam nodded, finishing his soup and then rushing upstairs to wash and change into his pyjamas and dressing gown.
In a few days it would be Christmas Eve and in the chaos and warmth of his home, Endeavour felt himself properly relax for the first time since he left for university.

Chapter Text

The snow that had started on the last day of term continued but it didn’t settle on the ground, much to Sam’s disappointment.
It was early in the morning the day before Christmas Eve and the little boy was sliding around in the frosty back garden. He had woken Endeavour up as soon as it was light outside, the light on the frost had fooled the younger boy who believed that the snow had settled. He was disappointed when they wrapped up in their jumpers and dressing gowns and opened the back door only to find the 'snow' was just a layer of frost. Sam had tried to scrape a snowball from the frost that had settled on the windowsill in vain and then gave up and began sliding around on the grass that crunched under his feet.
Endeavour stood on the frozen path, shivering, watching his younger brother.
“Can I ride my bike?” Sam asked in a loud whisper, walking to the shed.
The red bicycle had once belonged to Endeavour and though it had been Sam’s for many years now, when the two were together Sam still liked to ask permission to use it.
“If you like, but not for long Sammy, it’s freezing.”
“Bit of exercise! That’s all you need!” Sam insisted as he dragged the bike from the shed. He sounded so much like Fred that Endeavour snorted with laughter.
Sam rode a few laps around the garden, leaving a trail in the grass. After almost slipping and falling off twice, he sensibly decided enough bike riding and walked the bike back to the shed in disappointment. It was too cold to play cricket and his football was lost somewhere in the dense hedges at the end of the garden and he didn't fancy crawling through the mud and thorn bushes .
By the time they went inside, both of their faces were bright red from cold. They trudged into the hall, quickly taking off their wet boots before going into the kitchen where Win was waiting for them.
“Tea’s in the dining room, toasts on the way.” She told them. “You both look frozen!”
“Can we eat in the living room?” Sam asked, wanting to watch television.
“Alright, seeing as it’s the holidays.” Win said sternly but she was smiling.
Sam cheered and skipped to the dining room then in a complete change of demeanour he carefully carried a cup of tea for himself and Endeavour through to the living room.
“I don’t need help with toast.” Win said before Endeavour could offer any help and he laughed at how well she knew him. 
“Is there anything that needs doing today?” he hummed, waiting for her to finish making toast so he could take a plate through for him and Sam.
“No, calm before the storm.” She put her hand on his forehead and then stroked his hair to try and gently flatten it, his curls were getting long now and slightly wild but she didn’t comment.
“Christmas Eve tomorrow.” Endeavour grinned, a glint of joy in his eyes that Win was relieved to see, it was a glint that she and Fred had worked hard to ignite and preserve.
“‘Dev! Telly!” Sam called as some bright music started and a children’s programme began to play.
“Go on, then.” Win smiled, quickly handing him the plate of toast and jam.
Fred poked his head into the living room to say goodbye before he left for work; Sam was sitting too close to the screen and Endeavour had nodded off on the sofa. Fred chuckled and said a quiet goodbye that neither boy heard. 

It wasn’t until lunch time that the Thursday children were all out of their pyjamas and ready for the day, not that they had much planned.
They entertained themselves and helped Win with a few chores. They read, watched television and when it began to snow again they went for a walk to the park. Sam took his bike though he didn’t exactly ride it. He sat on it while his siblings stood either side and pulled him along. He said it was so that he wouldn’t slip though they suspected that he was just being a bit lazy but they allowed it as Endeavour and Joan knew that with every passing Christmas they were growing up more and more…things might not ever be like this again.

In the evening when Fred returned from work the family ate dinner together.
When the phone rang, Sam and Joan both scrambled to it as they were expecting a call from Aunt Renee. Endeavour stayed at the table looking sleepy.
“Alright lad?” Fred asked.
Endeavour nodded, he was feeling slightly unwell but not too terrible.
“He’s just tired, back from university. A lot of them get a bit of a cold when they get home, I heard. He just needs looking after.” Win said, stroking Endeavour’s hair again and then commenting “He’s got a bit of a temperature. Nothing an early night won’t fix.”
“Thanks, Ma.” he mumbled.
Endeavour did go to bed early and lay in bed thinking of Christmas. Falling in and out of sleep…
Memories of a visit to his fathers house at Christmas when he was thirteen. The first time he had seen his father since Endeavour had become a Thursday.

The last time Endeavour had seen his father the man had been silent, looking at him blankly. Endeavour had been in a hospital bed, with serious injuries to his legs. That was months ago, he was Endeavour Morse Thursday, now. 
But Cyril Morse had sent for his son; a card inviting him to visit for a few hours the day before Christmas Eve. Endeavour was surprised and pleased. Cyril didn’t really want him, he knew that. Though occasionally out of something; guilt, maybe? The memory of Endeavour's mother? Some desire to try and be a better father... the man would reach out.
Fred reluctantly parked up outside house his son had run away from, though he smiled. The lad deserved to know his father, even if Cyril Morse was not a good man. 
"You will come back for me, won't you?" Endeavour asked, staring out of the window , gripping tightly to the his seat not making any move to get out of the car. 
"Of course. I'll collect you at four." Fred promised. "You don't have to go, you know."
"I do." Endeavour hummed. "Joycie..." he explained "And Dad invited me. He never invited me before." The little voice was so hopeful, Fred had to stop himself warning him not to get his hopes up too high for the kind of family Christmas a lonely boy might hope for. 
 
A winning bet on the horses meant a brand new red bicycle for a Christmas present for Endeavour and a doll for Joyce.
Gwen was away for the day visiting relatives. 
Cyril walked down the country lane with the two children to the pub.
Endeavour and Joyce sat on the outside step with bottles of pop and on the frosty road Endeavour slowly tried to learn how to ride his new bicycle with quiet calls of encouragement from Joyce who rocked her new baby doll.
It was a fine bicycle; red and shiny, with a height adjustable seat and a bell to ring to let people know you were passing by. Endeavour never thought he would ever have such a present and he felt very pleased with it, though he wished Cyril could teach him how to ride it. 
Endeavour wobbled, slipped and fell to the ground hard.
“Don’t worry, I’m alright.” he told Joyce bravely, wiping his bleeding hands on his trousers and wincing at the pain in his legs. He left the bike where it fell and went to sit beside his sister to finish his lemonade.
When Cyril emerged from the pub, Joyce stood up and took hold of her fathers hand. 
“Can we go home now, Dad?” she asked.
Endeavour walked alongside them, leaning heavily on his new bike. His broken leg was mostly healed but his tumble on the ice as well as stinging his hands had ripped his trousers and his leg was bleeding.
They made it back to the house and Gwen was home in the doorway waiting for them. She looked him up and down and frowned at the little boy in the yellow boots.
Endeavour stared back, trying to read her expression. He didn’t understand why she was so cross.
Gwen glared at him and he glared back, leaning heavily on his new bike.
“Look mummy, a doll.” Joyce piped up. 
“That’s nice.” Gwen responded, ushering her daughter inside. “Now go and clean up for dinner.”
“Bye Endeavour.” Joyce smiled.
“Bye Joycie.” Endeavour smiled fondly. “I’ll send you a letter in the New Year.”
The little girl nodded, waved and rushed inside her home.
Endeavour waited on the doorstep and then quickly took out a Christmas card he had written to Cyril, Gwen and Joyce from his pocket.
“Happy Christmas.” he mumbled, handing the crumpled up card to her.
“Thank you.” She said stiffly.
“You best be on your way now, boy.” Endeavour was told by his father. “Thursday’s coming to collect you, that right?”
“Yes. He’s meeting me at the church, I’m going to visit mum's grave.”
Gwen turned away and went inside. Cyril nodded, waved and then followed his wife, closing the door behind him, leaving Endeavour out in the cold.

The sky was grey and beginning to get dark. Endeavour looked at the closed door for a few moments then turned and walked slowly with the new bicycle to the churchyard.
He left the bike by the stone wall and went and sat beside his mothers grave just as snow was starting to fall. He wished he had some flowers to leave when he noticed that some of the graves had bouquets or Christmas wreaths on them. He shuffled to the edge of the graveyard where some evergreens grew and pulled at some of the small branches and picked up some pinecones from the floor, then went back to the grave he arranged them into a pattern; it wasn’t flowers or a wreath but it was something. Something to show that he had been there to see his mum.
“I miss you, mummy.” he mumbled quietly, feeling a bit silly to say it out loud but it was only him in the graveyard, so he spoke as if she could hear him.
“I’m a Thursday now.” he hummed, wiping some imaginary dust from the cold gravestone with his sleeve.
It was really snowing now and suddenly he realised that Fred Thursday was standing at the edge of the churchyard, his hat off out of respect despite the snow.
Endeavour smiled.
“Mr Thursday is my Dad.” he said very quietly. He waved to Fred, looked at his mothers grave one last time then stood and hobbled over, holding his arms out.
Fred took hold of Endeavour’s hands and there was a flash of worry and rage in his eyes as he noticed right away that Endeavour’s leg was bleeding.
“What?! Did he…?”
“No. No…Dad.” Endeavour mumbled, starting to quickly explain: “My dad….I mean, Cyril got me a bike…he won a bet on the horses and with the money he got us both a Christmas present. Can I keep the bike dad?”
“Course you can.” Fred said, noting the confusion his son was feeling.
“Can we go home now, dad?” Endeavour asked, grabbing hold of Fred’s hand and sighing with relief when Fred nodded.
Fred worried about Endeavour’s leg, so he easily lifted him up and carried him to the car. 
Fred loaded the small bicycle into the backseat and then checked on Endeavour who sat in the front passenger seat. He put his coat over him to warm him up. Endeavour was holding tightly to his favourite handkerchief and hugging Fred’s hat, he fell asleep on the car journey back to Oxford and Fred carried him inside.
“Da?” Endeavour mumbled sleepily, burying his head into Fred’s shoulder for a hug before he was put down and with some help he took off his shoes, coat and scarf.
“Everyone else is asleep.” Fred whispered.
Endeavour nodded and then quietly crawled upstairs. He went to his bedroom and quickly changed into his pyjamas. His pyjama trouser leg rolled up, showing an impressive graze to add to his collection of scars from his accident and subsequent surgeries.  
Fred knocked quietly on the door and walked in with a bowl of water, a flannel and a bandage. He sat beside his son and gently cleaned his leg and put the bandage on.
“There you are. It’s better than a cast, I must say.” Fred told him with a smile.
Endeavour nodded and yawned, cuddling against his dad.
Endeavour didn’t hug Fred as often as he did when he first arrived to live with them, so Fred stayed still, holding the hug, pleased that his son was well and not upset or too unsettled by the visit to his visit to Cyril Morse, it had been a great source of anxiety to them both and the previous night Endeavour had nightmares about having to go.
If Endeavour wanted to talk about it, of course Fred would let him. But that was up to Endeavour. 
“It’s Christmas Eve tomorrow.” Fred told him instead.
“Yes.” Endeavour whispered. He seemed a mixture of excited and nervous.
“We’ll have a wonderful day.”
“I’m glad I have Christmas with you."
“I know, son.”
“I’m grateful for the bike from…Cyril. I did say thank you.”
“I know, you’re a good lad.”
That made Endeavour smile, so Fred smiled and said it again.
“You’re a good lad, Endeavour.”
“Cyril doesn’t like me very much. Gwen Hates me…Joyce likes me though.”
“Joyce sounds like a clever one.”
Endeavour nodded, thinking of the five year old, rocking a doll gently. 
“I like Joyce.” 
“Perhaps she can come to us for a weekend rather than you going to your father’s for the day next time.”
“Yes please!” Endeavour whispered excitedly. “If they let her. Would you do that? You an’ Ma? I just know she would be good and Sam and Joanie will really like her.”
Fred chuckled though his heart ached for the siblings.
“I’ll see what I can do.” he promised.
Satisfied with that, Endeavour snuggled back down into bed. Fred tucked him in and wished him a goodnight.
“Night.” The little boy mumbled, falling asleep and dreaming of Christmas as a Thursday.

“Endeavour.”
Endeavour felt himself being shaken lightly awake.
“...What? What?” he asked, looking around. Sighing with relief when he saw Fred. It was the Christmas holidays and he was home from university. 
“You were calling out in your sleep,” Fred explained. “Nightmare?”
Endeavour felt embarrassed and nodded. It had been a long time since he'd had nightmares, at least nightmares that left him crying and calling out.
“No one else heard.” Fred reassured him. “You’ve got a bit of a temperature. That’ll be it.”
“I was remembering my first Christmas with you.” Endeavour admitted.
Fred smiled.
“You sang the solo at school.” he chuckled, remembering proudly when his son had sang so beautifully that time seemed to stop for a few moments.
“....Joanie was Mary in her school Nativity.” Endeavour grinned.
“Oh yes. She took her starring role very seriously.”
“And Father Christmas visited!” Endeavour chuckled. His eyes were shining, remembering how they had included him, a lonely thirteen year old into their celebrations.
Endeavour glanced over at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was almost 6am on Christmas Eve.
“Well I expect he’ll visit again if you’re good.” Fred said seriously, he had always remained adamant to his children that Father Christmas was real, no matter how much his older two laughed or rolled their eyes at him.
“Dad.” Endeavour chuckled.

Endeavour was feeling a lot better by the afternoon and the next morning. By Christmas eve evening time he read out the last of A Christmas Carol with Joan.
They had some toast and a few snacks, something like a picnic tea while they watched Christmas programmes on television.
Sam left a mince pie and a carrot on the mantle for Father Christmas and the reindeer and then stood with his arms crossed, looking very serious as he made sure that all the fireplaces in the house were put out to be ‘safe’ for the old elf.
When Sam was finally in bed, Joan put a Christmas record in the living room and it played quietly.
Fred, Win and Endeavour had a small glass of sherry each.
“You can have an orange squash, that’s your best offer.” Fred told fourteen-year-old Joan when she nonchalantly asked for a glass.
“But it’s Christmas eve!” She complained with a sigh, going back to reading her magazine, looking at the Christmas radio and television programme timetables.
Before long Joan announced she was going to bed, giggling conspiringly with Win who had allowed her a sip from her glass of sherry.
“Winifred!” Fred had gasped, half jokingly but half truly shocked at the pair of them.
“Night Dad!” Joan smiled, quickly kissing him on the cheek and then quietly running upstairs.
The father shook his head in disbelief at his middle child and then turned to look at Endeavour who was half asleep, fighting to stop from nodding off on the sofa, glass still in hand.
“Sherry too much for you?” Fred laughed. Taking the glass away and putting it on the side before it was dropped.
“How are you feeling love?” Win asked Endeavour.
“Much better now, thank you.” he sniffed, he had a slight cold but he didn’t feel bad at all. He felt happy and excited for the day tomorrow.
At 11pm He wished his parents goodnight and went to bed.

On Christmas morning, Endeavour grinned. There was a Christmas stocking full of presents at the end of his bed. He had wondered if he would get one this year, seeing as he was now nineteen and had officially moved away from home. No, this would always be home.
There was a gentle knock on his door.
“Come in.”
Joan walked in, carrying her own Christmas stocking, she sat down on the floor beside his bed to wait for Sam. She had obviously woken up earlier to get dressed and do her hair, though she had put her dressing gown back on over her outfit to stay warm.
Endeavour looked at the clock, it was almost 8am: the time that Sam had been told he was allowed to wake them up.
At one minute to eight, Sam burst through the door of Endeavour’s bedroom. He climbed to sit next to Endeavour on the bed and then the three of them quietly began opening their stockings.
Joan was pleased with a new lipstick, a compact mirror and some sweets as well as the usual orange and candy cane.
Endeavour had a new pen and the same sweets, an orange and a candy cane. He also had a toy car, something he laughed at but thought he would put on his desk at university. 
Sam had some new army men to add to his already quite large collection, a pack of playing cards, a toy car and a football comic that had been rolled up to fit into the stocking tied with a ribbon. The rest of the space in his stocking was filled with sweets and chocolates.
The three of them looked at the presents from Father Christmas, swapping sweets and chocolate among themselves until just before nine in the morning, Sam couldn’t wait any longer and rushed to their parents room, jumping on the bed cheering;
“Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas.” They laughed, seemingly prepared for Sam to jump on them. Fred and Win had in fact woken up and got ready and dressed for the day while Endeavour, Joan and Sam were together opening their Christmas stockings.
Sam settled himself in between his parents, showing them all of his new things. Joan and Endeavour came in and perched themselves on the sides of the bed, joining in with the excitement.

A while later, the living room was in comfortable chaos as the Thursday family slowly went about the day, opening presents, talking, laughing and singing. Joan and Sam had a small argument that was calmed and forgotten about after a cup of tea and some breakfast.
Endeavour was wearing a new jumper from Aunt Renee and looking through a crossword book, thoughtfully clicking his new pen. He was grateful for the book tokens from his parents and thinking about what books he might buy. He also had a new notebook from Joan and Sam had made him several drawings and chosen a box of chocolates for him.
Sam was watching television, surrounded by his new Meccano set and other toys, cuddling his toy parrot. He was still in his pyjamas and dressing gown, though he had wrapped his new scarf around his neck and was wearing some new football socks. Fred was sitting beside him, humming along to the Christmas carols that were playing, looking at the Mecano set and happily arranging toy soldiers into ranks.
Joan was reading the poetry book from Endeavour while eating some sherbet sweets.
Win was sitting down, enjoying a bit of peace before she started on the Christmas dinner.
Everyone was happy and grateful.

Christmas dinner was a wonder and was followed not by a Christmas pudding but by a Birthday cake; a tradition that came about when Endeavour first came to them and had quietly told Win that it was something his mum had done.
Endeavour smiled warmly as he ate his slice of cake. It was delicious and he thought of his family and life with the Thursdays and remembered his mother; who now seemed like a distant and slightly conflicting memory, as he remembered her warmth and softness… but he also remembered sickness, silence and the overwhelming feeling of being left alone.
“Are you alright, Dev?” Joan asked quietly, tapping him on the shoulder.
Endeavour nodded, not realising that he had been lost in thought. He smiled. He wasn’t alone.
“Yeah, I'm alright.” he replied, almost a whisper. “I was just thinking about my mother,” he admitted.
“Oh.” Joan said, unsure what to say. She was always curious about Endeavour’s past; though true to a promise she had made at eight years old, she never pressed the matter or asked, only let Endeavour talk about it if he chose to.
“Good thoughts?” Joan asked cautiously; she had at times upset him, so she tried never to assume anything about the life he had before he was her brother.
“Yeah.” he croaked.
“Well. That’s good then.” She nodded, nudging him slightly.
Endeavour smiled truly then, for Joan and the Thursdays. The loss of his mother was a dull, quiet ache and a private sadness that would never leave him. But the hurt was softened by the love of the family that had found him.
“I’m glad to be a Thursday,” he mumbled quietly.
“Have you gone soft?” Joan laughed, nudging him again, making him laugh. She was always quick to snap him out of the melancholy moods he often found himself in.
After dinner Fred, Endeavour and Sam did the washing up and then the family gathered in the living room once again. It wasn’t late but they were tired and happy for the day they settled down for a cosy evening together.

On Boxing Day, Endeavour would phone Joyce then he would phone Max Debryn and arrange to see him in the new year.
There was a lot of university work that he needed to get done but there was plenty of time.
Still with a slight cold, Endeavour fell asleep on the sofa sitting beside his dad. He could have been twelve years old again. He was woken by the flash of the camera and Joan and Sam's giggling. He threw a cushion at them.
Fred laughed and ruffled Endeavour’s hair.
They were all pestered into playing a game of cards with Sam which turned into a boisterous game of snap that was only stopped at Win’s insistence that they all calm down. So they watched television with cups of tea, sweets and slices of cake despite being ridiculously full, until they each went up to bed until it was Just Endeavour and Fred sitting on the sofa. The television was off now and they were just sitting comfortably, Fred having a smoke of his pipe.
“Good Christmas?” Fred asked.
“The best.” Endeavour told him earnestly.
“You’re a good lad.” Fred smiled. 
“Must have been raised well” Endeavour shrugged with a half smile.
“Oh yes, very well.” Fred agreed with a laugh.
Endeavour got up and put on a record.
“Just one song, then I’ll go to bed.” he yawned and the record started to play, an old favourite of theirs that they first heard on the radio during a summer holiday on a fine day.
“Ah…Un Bel Di.” Fred remembered.  
They sat together, listening until the song ended. Then Endeavour got up to go to bed.
“Night, Son.”
“Goodnight, Dad. Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas.” 

Chapter Text

Christmas ended and another term at university began and the grey days were full of lectures, studying and reading. 
Endeavour put increasing amounts of pressure on himself to do well, though his efforts showed in his exam results and feedback from his tutors. 
Bruce had taken to calling him ‘Pagan’ now, rather than Morse. Bruce playfully bullied anyone he was acquainted with.
Pagan…. Endeavour still wasn’t used to that for a name and wasn’t sure if he liked it. Though he reasoned it was a good thing to be included. 
Antony laughed along good naturedly with everything, though was altogether a kinder, more gentle friend and someone Morse liked quite well. As well as that, he seemed to notice that Morse wasn’t keen on the nickname, so he called him Morse.
Antony always payed for drinks at the pub and made a habit of buying dinner, waving away anyone else's attempts to pay. So as a thanks, Morse would help him with his academic work and join him for an occasional game of croquet.
Endeavour missed his friendship with Max Debryn who was studying away in London to become a doctor. They exchanged letters and postcards frequently though it seemed unlikely they would meet any time soon. Surrounded by these students in Oxford, Morse felt more out of place than he thought he would. Though he wouldn't admit it to the Thursday's, he wanted to make them proud and he felt coming home crying like he had done when he was a schoolboy was a poor way to repay them for all the kindness they had shown him.
Endeavour didn’t join any choirs and visited home only once a month now and phoned every other week.

Before Endeavour knew it, the days were long and light. They celebrated Sam’s Birthday and the end of Endeavour's exams, then the summer holidays began.
Looking at his younger brother, Endeavour now understood what their father always said about time passing too quickly.
Somehow the Thursday family still managed to pack into the car and drive to the sea for a week's holiday.
Endeavour was almost nineteen now.
Joan was fourteen (and a half, though at some point she had stopped adding the half to her age, none of them could remember when that quirk had stopped)
Sam was tall for ten. As tall as Endeavour had been at twelve. 
The holiday was the same as it had always been, though on the first night Fred and Win had some time to relax whilst the children went to the funfair and amusements by themselves with some spending money. Before they left, Fred had very seriously warned Endeavour he was to watch out for his siblings but especially Joan. By the second day, Joan and Endeavour were both under strict instructions to look out for Sam, who on the first day had spent more than a considerable amount of his money on cotton candy and toffee apples, went on the waltzes twice and spent the night feeling terribly sick.
By the third day, Fred and Win had given up on a peaceful holiday and joined the children on the adventures they made out of trips to the beach and walks around the village.
Fred swam in the sea with Endeavour, Joan and Sam, remembering when they were younger and how he had taught them to swim. They were all fairly confident in the water now. Sam most of all tended to jump in without checking the water first. Endeavour was more cautious but stronger and quick to follow Sam to make sure that the youngest was safe. Joan had lost interest in swimming, though today the sun was shining and the sea was calm. After seeing how much fun Endeavour and Sam were having she decided to join them; luckily she had been wearing her swimming costume on under her dress just in case, just she had done when she was younger and the first one to jump into the sea.
Sam and Endeavour started trying to push their father over and dunk him into the water, working together they almost could, almost.
“Not strong or clever enough yet, lads.” He laughed at them.
They continued fighting and splashing each other until Joan, without warning, managed to push Fred over. Fred roared with laughter as Joan rushed away as quickly as she could wading through the water to hide behind Endeavour, who held his arms out, attempting to push their Dad down again without any luck. Sam was screaming with laughter and waving to the shore to see if Win had seen.
The Thursday children had lots of talks, mostly reminiscing when they were younger as they looked around the second hand book shop and the souvenir shops, laughing about how the little cottage they rented for the week used to seem so much bigger. Just like they had at Christmas they seemed to sense the passing time. Even Sam felt different, somehow. He would be going into his last year of primary school when the holiday was over and then he would be at big school. Something about it all made him feel a bit upset and he found himself hugging Joanie and Endeavour a lot more and holding their hands even though he wasn’t scared of the ghost trains and roller coasters anymore.
The week of sea air, time together and fish and chips for supper did them all good and when the summer was over, they knew they would miss it. 

In September Endeavour’s second year at university started and the week he had spent away with his family at the seaside during the summer holiday seemed far away.
He spent his birthday in the library and then later at the pub with Antony and Bruce. A card had arrived from Max; written in Morse code as usual.
Quite late in the evening he phoned home from a telephone box near the pub.
“Happy Birthday.” Fred told him, not sure what to make of the slurred voice that thanked him.
Sam was jumping up and down wanting to speak to his brother.
“Happy Birthday!” The little boy cheered, starting to chatter quickly before Win took the phone off him.
“Happy birthday, Love.”
“Thanks Ma…” Endeavour hummed.
“You be careful.” Win half laughed at her son.
Fred took the phone again.
“We’ll see you at the weekend, son.” he said firmly.
“Yes, Dad. Thank…” as the pips were running out he heard Joan calling out "Happy Birthday" before the line went dead.

“I’m meeting my new tutor this week.” Endeavour told his family over Sunday dinner.
“Good luck.” Win smiled, offering him some more gravy to go on his dinner, Endeavour nodded gratefully.
“You’ll be fine, you keep working hard.” Fred told him earnestly, though with a slight frown over at Joan who smirked and laughed.
“None of that.” Fred told her, “You’re a smart girl and you better not throw it away.”
“I don’t see why you’re making such a fuss!” Joan sighed, continuing with her meal.
“What’s this?” Endeavour asked.
“After school detention, we all got one.” Joan rolled her eyes.
“Smoking!” Sam laughed, amused that Joan was in trouble.
“I wasn’t smoking, Sandra was! And she was only trying it, she got the cigarettes off her dad.”
“Stole them!” Sam shouted excitedly.
“But I couldn’t let her get detention on her own!” Joan declared, passionately defending her friend.
Fred smiled slightly and Joan caught it and smiled back and Fred shook his head, still smiling at his girl.
“We just want you to do well, sweetheart. You and your friends. I don’t want you getting in trouble at school, alright?”
“Yes, dad.” Joan nodded.
“You should give her a smack, dad!” Sam piped in.
“No.” Fred shook his head though he smiled knowing that Sam was only joking and his children knew that he would never hurt them or lift a hand to them.
The phone rang in the hallway and Joan grinned and jumped up,
“That’ll be Sandra!” she explained as she ran to the phone giggling. 
“Sam, eat your vegetables or no pudding.” Win told the youngest firmly.
Sam begrudgingly ate the carrots on his plate.
Endeavour smiled at his family, eating the vegetables on his own plate too.
Joan returned to the room and sat down to finish her dinner.
“It wasn’t Sandra, it was Max, he just said to remind you that you’re meeting next weekend.” She told Endeavour.
“Is Max coming here?” Sam asked, he had always liked Max.
“No, he’s visiting me at university.” Endeavour smiled.
“He’s a funny boy.” Win said fondly.
“Well, so am I by all accounts.” Endeavour said offhandedly.
“Why? Who’s said that?” Fred asked defensively “If any of those posh…”
“No one’s said anything, Dad.” Endeavour reassured him.
“You deserve to be there as much as the rest of them.” Fred said simply, as he often reminded Endeavour who was prone to melancholy and doubt.
“I know. I know….Just, I’m not like them. Any of them. Not at all. I think they’re….fond of me though. I was never part of a group before, not really. So it’s different, at university.”
“Tell us some more about university, Dev?” Joan asked. Interested but also keen to keep the conversation away from the trouble she had been in at school.
Endeavour shyly told them all about his plans for Max’s two day visit and his hopes for how his second year at university would continue.
They all had pudding - an apple pie made especially for Endeavour’s visit - and then they watched some television before it was time for Sam to go up to bed. Endeavour waited to tuck him in and said goodbye to ‘Baby Sam’, who asked for a chapter of a book, then wished his family a good night before walking back to his halls. 

Chapter Text

Something about Doctor Felix Lorimer reminded Endeavour of Cyril Morse…
Or Cyril Morse when a good mood struck him.
Lorimer was a quiet man and fond of the horses though he could at times be quick to anger, he was more often ready to laugh. Most days he saw him he would ask Morse to go and place a bet for him or go to the shop to buy him a packet of cigarettes, the newspaper or whatever took his fancy. Morse wasn’t sure what to make of him.
“I don’t know why you put up with him, Morse! Lorimer is a ridiculous man, how on earth he got his teaching position, I’ll never know!” Complained Jerome Hogg, a new friend several years older than Endeavour with ambitions to teach one day.
He seemed as if he might say more but instead shoved some chips into his mouth.
“He’s not so bad.” Morse laughed at Jerome’s passionate little speech.
They sat quietly for a moment on a bench in the quad until Jerome passed the wrapped packet of chips that they were sharing to Endeavour.
“You look as if you need them more than I do.”
Endeavour smiled and ate the chips, Jerome stood up and stretched as if he were about to go for a run.
“Now, having finished my essays….I'm out for the evening, can I tempt you?”
“No thank you, I’ve got reading and an early tutorial tomorrow. Next week perhaps?”
Clutching his heart as though wounded, Jerome smiled and winked, taking a chip before waving goodbye.
“It’s a date, Morse. Next week.”
Morse shook his head, laughing at his friend.

The term continued and though Morse and Jerome didn’t go out during evenings as Jerome had asked, they often met by accident during the day in the library or around campus and from there they would take walks around Oxford and visit the parks. Conversation was easy between them and a welcome change from the boisterous behaviour of Bruce and the kind but indifferent caring's of Antony Donn; As well as the girls that they were now seeming to spend more time with.
“You are different, Morse.” Jerome commented one afternoon as they walked along the riverside.
“I deserve to be here, as much as anyone.” Morse said resolutely and it occurred to him that he sounded like Fred Thursday.
“You misunderstand me.” laughed Jerome, smiling kindly at his friend and patting him on the back.
“What I mean is. You are good and I don’t say that lightly, Morse. Not many would care to be seen with me let alone be my friend.” Jerome said, his tone light though he glanced at Morse with an almost frightened look.
“Why shouldn’t anyone want to be friends with you?”
“Well….”
It suddenly struck Morse that his friend was trying to express something that took great courage, that could cost them their friendship or more.
So Endeavour spoke up.
“You are a good person, Jerome. A kind person and I’m glad to be friends with you.”
Jerome nodded, seeming to sigh with relief and for a moment he took Morse’s hand before letting go.
“I thought you might add handsome to the mix.” Jerome commented with a slightly breathless laugh.
Morse’s silence seemed to be enough to return Jerome’s confidence as he skipped ahead.
“People will say we’re in love!” he chucked in a sing-song voice.
“...Love.” Endeavour laughed.
He was too busy for love.

Max’s visit to Endeavour was planned to be to be spent at university, though they ended up at the doorstep of the Thursday household early Friday afternoon. 
Win was delighted, pulling both boys in to hug them. She hadn’t been expecting Endeavour home and so hadn’t planned anything special for dinner. She gave her son a playful tap on the shoulder and sent Max to the living room then he instructed Endeavour to make their guest a cup of tea then she grabbed her bag and coat, kissed Endeavour on the cheek then rushed away to the shops to get ingredients to prepare treats and special dinners for the next few days.
“Sorry about her.” Endeavour chuckled, slightly wobbling as he carried two cups of tea into the living room. They were both slightly hungover and rather giggly. He handed a cup to Max and sat down beside him on the sofa with a sigh.
“Oh I don’t mind at all.” Max chirped “In fact, I’m quite excited. I remember all those delicious meals we had when we came home for lunch while we were still at school.”
Endeavour grinned and nodded, taking a sip of his tea.
“And sandwiches on Friday.” he reminded his friend, raising his tea cup. “Cheers!”
"Corned beef sandwiches" Morse said as a sort of toast before raising his cup.
Max nodded and held out his own cup and gently tapped them together, laughing at the memory of Joan’s ‘tea parties’ she would insist they attend, that involved them sitting in the living room and pretending to have tea with various dolls and her beloved knitted toy chicken.
“I’m surprised not to have sandwiches today!” Max complained.
“Oh no, she’ll make something special for us since we’re home. Sam and Joan will be pleased to see you.”
“Yes, it’s been a few years.” Max commented, sitting back and making himself comfortable on the sofa. Endeavour passed him a blanket from the side.
“Though Joanie writes occasionally.” Max added.
“She does?”
“Yes. You don’t visit home enough.”
“I do when I can, just there’s so much work to do.”
“I know, I understand.” Max nodded, suddenly looking tired.
“Sorry”
“It’s no matter, Morse. We have this weekend.” his old friend smiled, nudging him slightly.

Joan arrived home early and Endeavour’s first thought was that she must have skipped her last lesson.
“It’s only games.” She rolled her eyes, seeming to read his thoughts. She gave her brother a tight hug and then squealed and ran over to Max, jumping onto the sofa.
Endeavour went to the kitchen to make tea; another cup for himself and Max and one for Joan and Sam when he got home.
Max and Joan were chatting animatedly and endeavour sat on the floor by the sofa, leaning against it.
A little while later there was a great clatter of noise in the hallway: Sam was home.
“Mum!” The boy called out, expecting Win.
“Not quite.” Endeavour said quietly.
“Dev!” Sam cried, running and jumping into his older brother's arms and wrapping himself around him.
“Careful!” The older of the two laughed, almost stumbling backwards before carrying the youngest to the living room.
“MAX!” Sam cheered with even more excitement, he gave Endeavour a huge hug and then went to the sofa, climbing up and sitting beside Max.
“I’m here too.” Joan teased.
“You’re always here!” Sam complained.
“I might not be.” the fifteen year old said quietly.
Only Endeavour heard and he gave her a cautious glance.
“Alright?”
She nodded, giving him a look as if to say ‘we’ll talk later.’

Win arrived back home and Max joined her in the kitchen, keen to help her make dinner.
Sam was in the garden, kicking his football around and doing tricks, glancing back to make sure that Endeavour and Joan were watching him through the window.
Endeavour and Joan did occasionally glance over and grin and clap for their little brother though they quietly spoke.
“It’s getting awful here, dad’s a nightmare and mum’s almost as bad.” she complained.
“Why? What’s going on?” Endeavour asked, confused.
“Just. I feel so stuck here. I can’t wait to finish school and then they’ll get off my back.”
Her brother offered her a grim smile.
“It’s not so bad here.” he admitted, he felt so out of place at university that he had forgotten that he felt out of place at home too, sometimes. Joan seemed so happy and to have so much fun, with lots of friends. He never thought much about her feeling different or like she didn’t have a place.
“Have you thought about university? Once you’ve finished school. You’re clever enough.”
“Not for me.” Joan said resolutely.
“Lady Matilda’s….”
“No.” Joan said firmly, she was so like their dad at times. Though Endeavour knew telling her that right now wouldn’t endear him or their father to her.
“Alright…” Morse hummed, trying to think of a solution, something he could say to fix this.
“They still think I’m a little girl.”
“Well. You are still a girl.”
“You know what I mean.” she rolled her eyes with a laugh. “I’m fifteen. When you were fifteen you had a lot more freedom.”
“They just want to keep you safe."
“Keep me bored, more like!”
“They mean well.”
Seeming to want to move on from the conversation, Joan sighed and glanced out through the window at Sam who was attempting to do some sort of cartwheel.
“Could you help me with some homework later. I can manage it easily but just, it’s nice to have you around when I’m working on it.”
“Of course. Just like old times.”
Joan laughed then.
“I complain that I want things to change but maybe I just want them to stay the same…or go back to how they used to be.”
Sam stumbled over onto the floor and they both jumped up, ready to go out to him but he gave them a thumbs up and grinned at them with a face covered in mud.
They both smiled and laughed warmly at their little brother. 
“He's as tall as you now.”
“Almost.”
Endeavour nodded.
“Ma and Dad, they’ll try and support you. Whatever you want to do after school.” he told her earnestly.
“I don’t know what I want to do.”
“That’s alright too, you know.”  
“I know. Thanks, Dev.” she replied just as earnestly.
Win called for them to set the table so they went to do that. The seriousness of their conversation not forgotten but put away for now as they got ready for dinner.

Fred was pleased to have Endeavour and Max home.
The weather was beginning to get lighter and the days longer.
They ate dinner quietly, Endeavour and Max were tapping on the table and chuckling occasionally.
“Morse.” Fred commented.
“Yes?” Endeavour looked up.
Fred smiled at him.
“I mean. You’re talking to each other using something like  morse code.”
“I didn’t know you knew Morse code…not properly.”
“More under my hat than nits.”
“You’re not wearing your hat dad! It’s on the hatstand in the hall.” Sam commented, his mouth full of his last bite of food.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Win gently scolded.
Then Sam started tapping slowly on the table, attempting to spell out a word like Max and Endeavour had shown him how.
“If everyone’s almost finished I’ll go and get pudding.” Win announced.
“Lovely.” Fred nodded.
Endeavour got up to help Joan passed her plate to Sam who helped himself to anything leftover on her plate before stacking them together.
“Any plans for the weekend?” Fred asked his oldest as he took out his pipe and started preparing it to have after pudding.
“Just at home, I should think.” Endeavour smiled.  
Fred nodded, pleased to have all his family around him and Max too; What was it that Win used to call them, he thought; oh yes; an Odd fish and an Odd duck.
Joan and Max now appeared to be in deep conversation and Endeavour was slowly showing Sam the tapping code on the table.

Later that evening Fred took a stroll just as the light was beginning to fade. Not long after he had set off for the park he turned and saw Endeavour was following him.
“Can I join you?” he asked, standing a little way off and Fred was reminded of the lonely little boy that had joined them all those years ago.
“Of course you can, son.”
He still had something of the awkward little skip in his run that he had as a child as he moved to stand by his fathers side and they walked together.