Chapter Text

Prologue

Hound sprinted through the dense foliage, Beetle's unconscious form weighing heavily on his back. Every so often, their heads would knock together, each jolt amplifying Kakashi's burgeoning headache. But there was no time to slow down; Beetle had needed medical attention three hours ago, and the limpness of his body against Kakashi was a grim reminder of that urgency.

Serow materialized beside him, her hands deftly forming signs to communicate that Iwa ninjas had barricaded their usual route into Konoha. They'd have to reroute through the treacherous Kanabi River, an area Kakashi had hoped to avoid. However, when a teammate's life hung in the balance, preferences became trivial. 

The wind shifted, bringing with it the subtle scent of foreign shinobi. 'Scouts,' Kakashi signed to Serow, who nodded in understanding. They couldn't afford any delays; the Iwa presence so close to Konoha was an audacity that would need to be reported to the Hokage. 

Kakashi's arms ached, the muscle fibers straining under Beetle's unresponsive weight. Any confrontation now would be a challenge. Keeping to the tree canopy, they advanced, Serow acting as their eyes several paces ahead, while Kakashi focused on avoiding detection from the scouts below. 

The mission had seemed straightforward, almost suspiciously so. And like an inexperienced genin, Kakashi had missed the cues, walking them right into an ambush. Just as they were about to secure the intel Danzo-sama had instructed them to find, Beetle took the brunt of an enemy assault, buying Serow time to gather the data. Leveraging smoke and paper bombs, Kakashi deceived the enemy into expecting additional forces, grabbed Beetle, and met Serow at their predetermined location.

Upon reaching the remains of what once was a bridge over the Kanabi River, memories flooded back. He could still see Rin's grief-stricken face, tainted with Obito's blood, as they had destroyed the bridge. She had been unable to hold back her tears, and Kakashi had been equally unable to offer any consolation. Now, ensuring another teammate didn't perish was the least he could do.

What was left of the bridge were crumbling pillars, standing like forlorn sentinels over the rushing waters below. Serow gracefully leaped from pillar to pillar before pausing midway to look back. "Hound?"

Grimacing, Kakashi approached the first column. Carrying Beetle complicated the task; his teammate was both larger and heavier than him. With painstaking caution, he moved—until one misstep sent a stone plummeting into the abyss. His hip collided with the pillar, threatening to send them both tumbling into the raging waters. In the nick of time, chakra flowed through his soles, anchoring him and stabilizing the precarious situation. 

"Hound!" Serow was back beside him in an instant, helping him regain his balance.

"Thanks," Kakashi grunted as they made it across, Serow following suit.

"Leaving him behind would have been understandable. He might not even make it back," Serow pointed out.

"Those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash," Kakashi retorted, adjusting Beetle's position now that they were on solid ground. 

"We took an oath knowing the risks, Hound. Our objective shouldn't be compromised."

Focused, Kakashi resumed their march. "If Obito could hear you, he'd disagree. We need to move, and fast. Beetle still hasn't regained consciousness."

"Kakashi, you're pushing your limits."

"I have limits to break."

And with a renewed burst of chakra invigorating his steps, Kakashi lunged forward into the uncertainty of the night.

#

With a sigh of relief etched into every fiber of his being, Kakashi led his squad back into the heart of Konoha. Beetle's ashen face was a grim sight, yet the shallow rise and fall of his chest signaled life. As ANBU medics took charge of the wounded, Kakashi exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Mission success.

His muscles ached from the strain of carrying Beetle, but the discomfort paled in comparison to the reward. As Serow busied herself with the initial debriefing, Kakashi knew he couldn't linger. The responsibility of leadership, freshly thrust upon him, beckoned.

Stealthily, he navigated his way into Danzo-sama's office—a chamber swallowed in shadow. Serow was wrapping up her report, her words falling softly as Danzo scrutinized the mission scrolls. Following protocol, Kakashi gave a courteous bow next to Serow and waited for recognition before straightening up. With Danzo-sama, formality wasn't just expected; it was demanded.

"Hound, Serow informs me you jeopardized the mission's objective for Beetle. Is sentimentality a common flaw among your clan?"

"Sentimentality didn't factor into it. Serow had already secured the scrolls. My actions deterred any pursuit and reclaimed a resource crucial for future operations."

Danzo made a humming noise, inscrutable in the dim light. "Now that you command your own ANBU team, I trust such perceived weaknesses will not compromise future assignments. Report to the Hokage. Dismissed, Hound."

Acknowledging with a swift nod, Kakashi disappeared in a blur, courtesy of his Shunshin technique. His failure to assassinate the Sandaime had almost cost him, but Danzo-sama had reframed it as a loyalty test for his captaincy. 

Passing the guards outside the Hokage's office, he caught an announcement of his arrival—tinged with an undertone of disdain.

"Unbelievable. They made Friend-Killer a captain?"

As the door creaked open, the Hokage's voice carried through. "Captain, come in."

After a respectful bow, Kakashi was urged to rise by a dismissive wave from the Sandaime. "Just returned from a mission, I gather?"

"Affirmative, Hokage-sama."

"Hmm, I wasn't aware. I had another task for you, but perhaps I should reassign it."

"I'm capable of undertaking it."

Eyes piercing through a curtain of pipe smoke, Sandaime weighed his words. "Are you certain?"

"The mission was brief. I can proceed."

"Rest is essential between—"

"With all due respect, Hokage-sama, delegating my inaugural task as a captain wouldn't send a promising message."

Sandaime chuckled, stroking his beard as if to ponder life's mysteries. "Fair enough. Then take this." He pulled out an ornate box from his desk drawer, revealing within it a luminous crystal that seemed to compel Kakashi's attention. "Your mission details are in the scroll. You're dismissed."

Kakashi secured the box in his pocket and turned to leave, catching Sandaime's final words. "Congratulations on your promotion, Kakashi."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama."

Stepping out of the office, the weight of the enigmatic crystal and the mantle of captaincy seemed to resonate within him. It would be foolish to underestimate something the Hokage deemed 'vitally important.'

Exiting the Hokage Tower, Kakashi moved towards the village gates. His next assignment was already calling him—deliver the crystal to a reclusive sage renowned for his mastery over seals. The sage had once been the Sandaime's mentor, a detail Kakashi would not dare to inquire about but one that underscored the mission's gravity.

Chapter 1

The river was more swollen than it had been just hours before. They were too far inland for the river to be affected by the tide. This must have been snow runoff from the mountain, but this year's winter had been warm. Hound looked around for any debris from a possible dam that might explain the sudden increase in water level but found nothing out of the ordinary. He flared his chakra to break what he suspected was a subtle genjutsu, yet nothing changed.

He turned around and retraced his steps, searching for other signs that a genjutsu user was trailing him. His own tracks had vanished, as if someone had covered them up or as if he had never been there in the first place. Hound crouched down and listened intently for any sounds that might betray someone's location. He flared his chakra once more, but again, nothing broke. How could he still be under its influence?

Hound moved quickly through the forest, having barely left the gates of Konoha. Although he had just completed one mission and was about to embark on another, the presence of an enemy genjutsu user so close to Konoha took precedence. He bounded over the wall, flaring his chakra to signal his identity to the guards.

Upon landing, he found himself surrounded by other ANBU. This was not his usual reception; most people tended to avoid ANBU Hound. He glanced around the circle, finding himself at its center. "There's an enemy genjutsu user near the gate. I've returned to file a report."

"A genjutsu user, huh? Must not be a very good one," someone mocked, and the group laughed while unsheathing their weapons. "I fail to see how blocking my entrance doesn't conflict with standing orders," Hound retorted.

The group charged him in unison, and Hound willed the earth to swallow him whole. He heard the sound of weapons thudding against the ground as curses flew. Tiger's deep voice ordered the ANBU to fan out and search for the intruder. Hound waited for them to disperse before reemerging.

Had a genjutsu been cast upon him? That wouldn't explain their reaction when he flared his chakra. He needed to speak to the Hokage immediately.

The closer he got to the tower, the more ANBU he noticed. Was the entire division after him? What had he done?

"Any sign of him?"  

"Not yet."  

"He's after the Hokage; we can't let him get close."

The accusation was serious. Had he misspoken? All the entrance points to the tower were heavily guarded, and the visible presence of the ANBU was putting the other shinobi on high alert as well.

Trapped and confused, Hound decided surrender was the best option. If he had erred and the Hokage was furious, he would accept his punishment.

Hound emerged slowly, hands raised. The ANBU tightened their grip on their blades. Dropping to his knees, he placed his hands behind his head. An ANBU agent landed behind him and shoved his face into the dirt, crushing his nose. A crowd of onlookers began to form as he was disarmed and divested of his scrolls. What had he done?

Heavy chakra cuffs were clamped onto his wrists, and he was pulled back to his feet. His hands felt lifeless and his wrists ached where the cuffs had severed his chakra flow, as if they had swollen. 

He felt a hand grip his shoulder and his stomach lurched. In an instant, they were in the bowels of the ANBU headquarters. His Hound mask was removed and his face mask yanked down. A bright flash blinded him.

"Is that a Sharingan?"  

"Where the hell did he get that?"  

"Should we alert the Uchiha clan?"  

"No, let the Hokage deal with it."

He was pushed into a chair and a neck restraint was fastened, albeit unnecessarily. It cut off some chakra to his head, preventing most dojutsu users from activating their abilities. However, Hound couldn't turn his Sharingan off, and the restraint would gradually drain his chakra, making him lightheaded.

"It's not turning off," someone noted.  

"Cover his eyes," came the reply.

Hot humiliation coursed through Hound. Cloth was tied around his head to cover his eyes. Someone reached behind him to release the cuffs, and then both arms were wrenched free and chained to the chair, again cutting off chakra from his hands.

"Can I at least know if I'm being accused of a crime or if this is another hazing?" Hound asked, aware that the only difference between the two scenarios would be the duration.

"Name."

"Hatake Kakashi. Jounin and ANBU Captain—" His words were cut off by a fist to the side of his face.

"You think we're stupid?"

Irritation flared within him, but he suppressed it; it wouldn't get him anywhere. "Of course not, Mantis-san."

"Who sent you?"

What kind of question was that? He remained silent, only to be struck again.

"Who sent you? Iwa? Kiri?"

Was he being interrogated by an enemy shinobi? Had he fallen so completely for a genjutsu that he'd wandered into an enemy village? But his Sharingan should have prevented that.

"Answer me!"

Hound remained silent, unsure of what the correct response should be. He felt a burst of pain as he was struck again.

"Two," Hound said.

"What was that?" He could smell the onions on Mantis's breath despite the mask.

"Two hits. I'm curious to see how many it'll take before you knock me out or your hand gets too sore to continue."

The next strike wasn't a surprise, but it made him bite his tongue. The metallic taste filled his mouth, and he spat it out at his captor. "Three."

"You filthy piece of shit!"

The final tally was 37. He passed out at 37. He felt somewhat proud of that number; it showed improvement over last time. He was getting better at this.

"Are you waking up?"

Hound sincerely hoped not. His face had its own pulse, and the sensation was uncomfortable under his overly taut skin.

"What's your name? Do you remember?"

"Sensei," Hound grumbled. The sound of his sensei's voice felt like a nail being driven into his brain.

His head was lifted, and Hound opened the eye that wasn't swollen shut. "Sensei?" Something was wrong with that question.

He squinted at the man before him, who had diamond-edged blue eyes. Sensei—no.

Sensei was dead.

He had died one and a half years ago during the Kyuubi rampage, sacrificing his soul for the safety of the village.

Hound jerked, trying to escape the grip of this apparition of his deceased mentor. But he had nowhere to go. His head was pulled back, forcing him to face his failures. He wished he could collapse, be lashed a hundred times, and plead for penance. But a wail clogged his throat, rendering him mute.

"Do you still want to call yourself Kakashi?"

The icy edge in his sensei's voice sank into his bones. Did he? What did the question even mean?

"He was my student. I knew him better than anyone else. Are you going to continue masquerading as my dead student?"

What?

"You should have done your research before assuming the identity of a dead ninja."

He wasn't dead. Sensei was dead. What was this?

"What kind of interrogation method is this?" Kakashi muttered. "I know this isn't real; Sensei is dead. You can't confuse me."

The illusion released his chin, and its expression of confusion looked so much like the face he remembered that it pierced his heart. He couldn’t afford to let the other ANBU see him crack.

"Where are you getting your information from? Tell me, what was Kakashi's favorite food?"

"You don’t need to know that." He really didn't want to risk food poisoning.

Minato frowned. "I already know it. I want to see if you know it."

"If you know it, there's no point in asking me." Hound wished this line of questioning would end. He was tired, he hurt, his fingers were cramping from the lack of chakra, and his face was swollen as if he had tried to swallow a beehive.

"Don't pass out."

"Fuck you," he thought, as he struggled to fend off the encroaching darkness at the edge of his vision.

#

Hound woke up, staring at the gray ceiling of the ANBU medic room. He was glad they were done messing with him. He had a mission to run, and now he was behind schedule.

He sat up and rolled his shoulders. The medical ninja had done a fine job; his face no longer hurt. It was a bit strange that he'd received medical care after the ambush. Perhaps someone higher up had discovered what was going on and decided he should be healed so he could move on. Hound wasn't the type to look a gift horse in the mouth. Such gifts were few and hard to come by.

An ANBU agent suddenly appeared, wearing a wolf mask. Hound knew Wolf, and Wolf was female; this one was not. "Who are you?"

The ANBU agent stood painfully straight, and his eyes flashed red behind his mask. An Uchiha.

"What happened to Wolf?" Hound asked, bowing his head in respect for her sacrifice.

"I am Wolf."

So they hadn't told him. He would have to ask around.

"They say you're Kakashi, but I know better. I don't know what jutsu you're using to impersonate him, but I'll figure it out. Then I will kill you," the agent said, his voice deep and raspy, as if choked by emotion.

"You could just kill me now, if you're that convinced."

"I watched him die. I was there."

"Strange, because I wasn't, and I'm the one who supposedly died."

"Listen, you may have the Hokage fooled, but not me. One misstep, just one, and I'll—"

"Wolf."

Both stiffened at the new voice. Wolf's spine snapped painfully straight. "Hokage-sama," Wolf greeted.

Hound didn't want to turn and face him.

"Kakashi, how are you feeling?"

"Why are you here?" Hound asked the man behind him.

"We tested your DNA. You are exactly who you say you are. I don't know how, but you are. Kakashi, won't you look at me?" There was a fragility to the plea that didn't belong in a Hokage's voice.

Hound turned slowly to face Minato-sensei. "You've grown, Kakashi."

He was 16 now; Sensei had died when he was 14. In two years, he had grown. Though still shorter than Sensei, the height gap was getting smaller. "Sensei is dead," he reminded himself. Was he still being messed with? Had he finally lost it?

"I'm not. I'm very much alive. I thought you were dead, but you're not. How did you survive? The rock crushed you."

Hound's brows furrowed. "I wasn't struck by the rock; Obito was. He died."

"Obito?" Sensei's eyes strayed to Wolf, still in the corner of the room. "And does the Sharingan have anything to do with that?"

Hound inclined his head. "It was a gift as he lay dying. I had lost mine due to incompetence."

"Hokage-sama, you can't actually believe him," Wolf interjected.

"I know enough about space-time jutsu to believe such things are possible," Minato-sensei responded.

Hound frowned. "You're suggesting dimensional travel."

Minato-sensei nodded. "Yes."

"How did I get here?"

"What was the last thing you remember?"

"I was leaving for a mission."

"What was your mission?"

Hound shook his head. "That is classified."

"That's the Hokage," Wolf growled.

"Not my Hokage," Hound retorted.

Minato-sensei held up his hand. "It's fine. I can respect that, but tell me what you can—anything unusual."

"I returned with a completed mission and received my next one. The Tanaka River was swollen, even though I had passed it only hours before. There was nothing to explain the difference in water level. I also couldn't find my own tracks, as if I hadn't come this way. I suspected a genjutsu user and returned to Konoha to report it."

Minato-sensei folded his arms and seemed to listen intently. "That was the first strange thing you noticed?"

"Yes."

"What is your code name?"

"Hound."

"I will have this investigated further. Until then, how about dinner?"

How about not? Could he decline? Decline an invitation to dinner from Minato-sensei? "If that's what you want."

Sensei's smile became fragile, and Hound was left wondering what he had said wrong. "I'll invite the team to join us. Wolf, would you be so kind as to send an invite to both Obito Uchiha and Rin Nohara?"

"I know that Obito has other plans. As for Rin…we both know she won't be available."

Minato sighed. "I see. Then be on your way. You're dismissed." Wolf didn't linger.

Minato-sensei flashed a tense smile. "Not much of a homecoming."

"I wasn't expecting one." Minato's smile vanished, and his expression closed off. Once again, Hound had misspoken and was left grappling with how to fix it.

"You probably need a place to stay—"

"Are the ANBU barracks not available?"

"No one actually stays there, do they?" Minato looked aghast.

Hound shrugged. "It functions as well as anywhere else."

"You can't entertain friends there."

What friends? Honestly, that was a bit mean. He had Gai, and Gai was trying. Hound wanted to honor his valiant effort, but it proved difficult. It was like trying to wash the blood off his hands. "I don't have much time for such things. I'm often not in the village anyway, so maintaining an apartment would be difficult for me."

Minato eyed him, as if trying to extrapolate details from his vague statements. Hound maintained his usual façade. He was a man of many masks; he wouldn't show what he didn't want to be seen.

Minato sighed, and Hound took it as a success. "I can't put you in the ANBU barracks. You'll just have to make do with an apartment. I'll assign you one that we reserve for visiting dignitaries. Don't take it as a slight, Kashi-kun. I'm certain you are deserving of ANBU rank. You've always shown such promise. But this is only until we can get you back; I'm sure your team misses you already." There was a slight uptick at the end of the sentence, making it almost a question. Hound wasn't sure what was underneath the question, so he nodded his head.

Minato-sensei scratched the side of his cheek. "I would invite you to stay with me, but I—" He grinned, very pleased with himself. "I have a son now. He's a year and a half. He's loud, though, so I don't think you would particularly enjoy living with him."

"Naruto," Hound murmured, remembering the screaming infant streaked with blood and gunk, lying under his dead mother's arm and his father's lifeless body slumped over them. His wails echoed deeply in the hollow of his chest, and to this day, Hound was jealous of the child who could grieve so openly.

Minato-sensei brightened. "You know him?"

No. "He's your son." 

Minato-sensei nodded as if he understood. "Well, you can meet my son today. Come on. Let's get you the key to your new apartment, and then I'll see Kushina to let her know. I'll give you a stipend so you can gather the things you need. I can't have you wandering around in that ANBU uniform."

Hound felt as if he had swallowed a boulder, and if he stood, it would rip a hole through him. He understood why he had to give up the uniform, but his sensei really had no idea what he was asking him to do. He inclined his head to show he understood the order, and a strange void opened between them, vacuuming up words and air. Hound grasped for anything to say to the man who had been dead for nearly two years. But it was as if he had become mute, unable to use his tongue.

"I'll go fetch that key for you from the housing administration." Sensei's hand clamped onto his shoulder and squeezed before leaving the room. His shoulder burned from the residual heat. The door closed, and Hound immediately wondered if it had all been a fever dream.

Hound stayed because Sensei was coming back. He had no desire to disappoint him; he had failed him enough as it was. So he waited. There wasn't much to do. He tapped the medical bed with the back of his heel in time with the second hand.

Had Minato-sensei really been here? The logical side of his mind said it was unlikely. He should have noticed if he was pulled into another dimension. He certainly hadn't been carrying any seals around that could cause this, and he had just passed through the same area recently.

But the mountain stream's water level was swollen from a cold winter. It had been a warm one. Even if he had changed dimensions, wouldn't the weather be consistent? As fickle as the weather was, the idea that it would change from one dimension to another was a novel idea. Not that he had much experience with dimensional crossing.

The clock continued to tick, and his heel bounced against the metal of the medical bed. He looked at the corner where Wolf had been standing, growling furiously at him. His dark hair stuck up from the back of the bone mask like hackles raised on a dog's back.

It was completely justified. In any dimension, Kakashi was unforgivable. He would have liked to have given Wolf time to release his vitriol, but Minato-sensei had sent him away too soon.

Rin was noticeably absent from the team reunion. Wolf had likely squirreled her away in protection. Did he see his hands drenched in her blood? Who could fool the Sharingan? His mouth twisted into a bitter smile as his heart burned from the acid of his own hatred. Friend-killer Kakashi, indeed.

Surely Obito would tell Minato-sensei what he had seen. Sour pain pooled in his stomach. He almost wanted to laugh. The kindness of his sensei would no doubt be stripped away. If left unchecked, Kakashi would poison those around him. He would get a second chance to kill his team. Who could stop him? Not even the fastest man alive could handle the curse that seeped from his pores.

A knock punctuated the air, shattering his wallowing. The path was so worn and familiar that it was hard to stay off it. He wasn't supposed to dwell on it. He took a quiet, deep breath as the door unlatched, and a woman walked in with a clipboard and an overly stuffed envelope.

She gave a professional smile, completely blind to the danger she was in. "Hatake-san? The Hokage sends his apologies. He has been called away on something. He sends this to you and says he will try to connect with you tomorrow." She passed him the envelope; it was soft, giving way easily to his fingers. "And if you could just sign this, you'll be free to go."

He signed the paper, and the woman left, giving him instructions on how to exit. It was likely a lecture she gave to all shinobi who stuck around long enough to go through the discharge process. Once she was gone, he spilled the contents of the envelope onto the medical bed. It contained a set of jounin attire but no headband, a set of keys, and a smaller envelope stuffed with ryo and an address. At least he had a place to go.

Hound changed into the jounin uniform. It was baggy and hung loosely on him. Hadn't Toad mentioned that he was too skinny by half? Maybe Hound needed to listen more.

The sun was harsh today, with not a cloud in the sky to offer relief from its rays. It felt more like a summer day than spring. Hound tugged his mask up as his ears pricked at the whispers. He rarely ventured into the village proper anymore. The whispers grew worse after his team died. As a child, he had stood there proudly, daring people to speak out against him as if he could prove to everyone he was unaffected and that they would stop. He hadn't realized back then that he could only stand up because he had his team backing him. He understood his father a lot better now. He too would use the blade in the manner his father had taught him, but he didn't think it would absolve him of guilt. It hadn't for his father. Kakashi must pay penance, and he needed to be alive to do so.

After killing his team, what good would it do to turn his blade on himself?

"Don't contemplate such things," he chided himself. It simply made the road too inviting. Obito's eye throbbed in his head, reminding him of a debt he could never repay.

"The door, Hatake. Stop staring at it and use the key," he thought to himself. He inserted the key into the door, and it swung open with ease. The place was more furnished than any he had remembered living in before. Kakashi's earliest memory was of his father selling furniture they didn't need to make up for his lack of missions. He had known even then it was his fault. If he could care for himself, his father could work as the village needed him to. The exchange of money and a chair had instilled in Kakashi the need to be self-sufficient. He wouldn't be a burden and would focus on bringing in income. His hard work paid off, and Kakashi could support himself when his father was no longer there. True to Kakashi's vow, he never sold another Hatake piece of furniture. Instead, it was left rotting away for the forest to reclaim.

He walked into the kitchen and found plates and bowls in the cupboards. They were white and clean, clearly meant to honor someone of higher status. The fridge was empty, but he had enough ryo to cover what he needed for now. Maybe he could get back on the roster, earn his own money, and pay back Konoha what he had borrowed.

The day moved too slowly. Hound was left idle, his thoughts wreaking havoc. He tried to control them as the book advised. But how does one change the course of a school of fish? If you interrupt them, they scatter, only to regroup and continue in the direction they intended to go.

Periodically, he would be jolted from his thoughts with a reminder that he had a mission to complete, only to be left grasping at the wind when he realized he couldn't complete it. How long could he stand the quiet? Would delirium set in? "Don't talk to ghosts, Hatake; they know too much," he thought.

Day bled into night. Hound walked out of the apartment, closing the door silently behind him. Curfew had set in, and the civilians were tucked away in their homes, curtains closed to prevent their lights from seeping out. Everyone was responsible for village safety; no lights after curfew. It was an outdated rule from a time when hidden villages were actually hidden. But shinobi were superstitious people; they held onto the strangest things, as if these habits gained magical properties through the adherence of one generation to the next. 

Hound moved quietly through the village proper. He slipped into a store with which he was familiar and gathered a couple of boxes of ration bars, dried meat, and vitamins. He then picked up a pair of gloves, sandals, and another set of shirt and pants. He also grabbed some writing implements and a couple of small mission journals. He wrote down what he had taken and left the money on the counter for the shopkeeper.

He should have grabbed a storage roll, but this was Konoha's money, not his. He couldn't waste it just because it was inconvenient for him to carry everything. He dropped off his new items and slipped one of the new journals into his vest pocket.

Hound touched his bare forehead. ANBU agents didn't run around with anything to mark them as from their village—a silly superstition. It gave Konoha the option to claim no knowledge of a fallen ANBU soldier, even if both parties knew it was a lie. Hound would never understand the game of politics.

His hair fell limply without his headband, partially shielding his replaced eye. But he missed the weight of the Konoha symbol over it. Who knew such a burden could be a comfort?

Hound couldn't stay here much longer. His thoughts veered into familiar territory. "Stop your thoughts when you notice them going in the wrong direction. Think of something else," he reminded himself. Something else, like where to train.

Curfew didn't apply to shinobi the way it did to civilians. Hound was more comfortable in the dark than he would ever be in the sunlight. He moved to find a training ground that wasn't busy. It seemed he wasn't the only one who preferred to train under the cover of darkness.

Training Ground 12 was empty. Cicadas chirped loudly, blocking out the noise from neighboring training grounds. Three training dummies stood in the middle; their straw innards spilled out onto the ground. He remembered his genin days when the dummies had been taller than him. He had been given a mission to replace them. Minato had offered to help, but Kakashi was determined to do it on his own. He had spent all day dragging and shoving the dummies from the warehouse to the field. He had simply been too small to complete the task. When he was done with one field, he asked his sensei if there was more to do. His sensei lied easily, and Kakashi, none the wiser, sank in relief.

His independent streak had not served him the way he thought it would. If he had just relied on his sensei back then, he could have completed his mission without becoming so worn out.

He struck the dummy with a roundhouse kick. A solid thunk resounded as he twisted his body for the follow-through. Fighting was easy; it was right. Every part of him was designed for it, from his analytical mind to his long limbs. He had always been tall for his age.

His fists clashed against the thick wood, hammering it smooth. Dirt was kicked up as his speed increased. The cicadas sang louder, taking his ruckus as a challenge. His wrists and ankles throbbed from the beating, and sweat soaked his back. A snap, then a crack—like a sudden bout of thunder—lanced through the air, silencing the bugs. The dummy fell over, and Hound's breath punctuated the still air.

In the span of a breath, life resumed, and the cicadas hummed—quieter this time. Hound stared down at the broken dummy and clicked his tongue. It was getting late, even for him, but he wasn't eager to return to the gifted apartment. If he stayed out here, he would have to walk through the village during the day, and he would rather swallow a shuriken.

Chapter Text

Hound waited for the tea to boil. He had been here for three days and had quickly established a routine. His days were spent in the apartment studying seals, while his evenings were spent at the training ground. There was no word on the investigation; he wasn't even sure it had started. Whatever had captured his sensei's attention must have been important, or perhaps Obito had talked some sense into him.

"Make note of trigger words; they can signal to you when your thoughts are turning dark. This way you can think about something else or distract yourself," he reminded himself.

But what if all his thoughts were dark? What else was there to think about? The kettle screeched and spat water from the spout. He turned off the flame and sighed at the overly hot water. He could wait for it to cool before using it, or he could drink bitter tea. A sense of weariness overcame him, and it suddenly felt like too much work to make tea. He put the cup away and returned to the living room. Peeking past the thick curtain, he willed the sun to set faster. He had better things to do than nothing. He turned back to his sealing work, about as eager to continue as he had been to make tea.

An excited rap on his door broke the monotony. He should have been thrilled by the intrusion, but instead, he felt a sense of loss for his solitude.

"My Rival!"

Hound stilled for a moment before rushing to the door. Gai stood there in all his green glory, backlit by the sunset, which only radiated his splendor further. Gai's tears sparkled like crystals, and Hound was crushed in his embrace as Gai soaked his shirt.

"My Rival! I came as soon as the rumors reached my ears. You're back from the dead!"

Hound didn't feel that he deserved tears, but if Gai wanted to cry them, he wouldn't deny him. How could he? "I'm glad to see you too—ugh," he grunted as Gai cracked his spine, releasing unexpected pressure and making him light-headed.

"You don't know how much I've missed you, Rival."

"Let's have some tea."

"A most youthful opportunity! I don't believe I've ever shared a cup of tea with you, Rival!"

The words pierced his heart. What a cruel, ungrateful child he had been. Gai bounded after him toward the kitchen. "You heard a rumor that I was back?" Hound prompted.

Gai bobbed his head. "Yes, and I had to see for myself if it was true!"

Hound whisked the tea until a layer of green foam appeared on top. "And they told you where to find me?"

"In the dignitary apartments!"

Why would such a precise location be spread through rumors? It was one thing to remark about seeing him, another to expose his whereabouts. That indicated intention, likely not good ones.

"Gai, who told you this rumor?"

"Your youthful teammate, Obito-kun. He didn't speak to me directly; rather, he was having a drink with Asuma-kun!"

Hadn't Asuma already left to train as a Guardian? Why was he still in the village? "Are they good friends?"

"They're very much at ease with each other. I would dare to say they're rivals on par with our own rivalry."

Was Obito the reason Asuma stayed, or was it something else? Asuma had left shortly after the Third Hokage retook his position.

"Kakashi, that pensive look ages you. Are you concerned about something?"

Hound glanced at Gai for a moment before passing him one of the teas. "I was just thinking I should have offered you something stronger, but I only have tea."

"Tea will revitalize us for our spar! Truly, the most youthful beverage!"

Hound's mouth quivered despite his efforts to control it. "Are we going to spar?"

"Of course! In honor of your death, I worked twice as hard! Now that you've returned, I must see how much I've accomplished. Dearest Rival, I challenge you!"

A wave of relief washed over him like a cool summer breeze. He hadn't realized he'd been waiting for something to feel familiar. Of course, it would be Gai. May he never change.

"Mm, alright," his tone was light, and his words had a lazy drawl.

Gai paused, looking at him in genuine shock, before smiling so widely his cheeks swallowed his eyes. "YOSH!" He shouted, bursting out of the room with a speed that shook the apartment and left Hound stupefied. He really had trained twice as hard.

A thrill of excitement hummed in his veins, his skin tingling with anticipation. He leapt after Gai, his calves already demanding more blood. He was determined to catch up. The wind whipped his hair from his eyes, and the streets were darkening. No one could see him, but he had his eyes on the target. An excited whoop threatened to emerge as he took a shortcut to the left. Dropping from the roof to maintain his momentum, he saw Gai glance back, his eyebrows shoot up, and then his smile turned feral.

Gai veered around a turn unexpectedly. Wait… where was he going? Hound scrambled to follow the new path. Gai darted between clotheslines strung between houses, navigating cleanly despite the quivering wires. Then he ran up a post and doubled back, heading in the opposite direction from the training fields.

Curious, Hound kicked off the side of a house onto the post and followed. Gai somehow squeezed his way between two buildings competing for real estate. Hound wouldn't have tried to maneuver through the tight space if he hadn't just seen Gai do it. His shirt snagged several times, making him wish for his more form-fitting ANBU uniform.

Gai emerged on the other side, widening his lead. Hound urged the ground to catapult him into the air. His legs pinwheeled as he landed on Gai's head, channeling chakra through his foot to launch himself ahead.

Gai responded with a robust laugh, charging after him like a freight train. His eyes were wide with manic glee, teeth bared in a grin of sadistic delight as Kakashi ran for all he was worth.

The rock face of Hokage Mountain did nothing to slow him down. Chakra gripped the stones, but gravity still tugged at him, like steel hands dragging him backward. Gai, under no such strain, regained the lead. Hound cursed and channeled his chakra into his feet. Rocks exploded in every direction. Hound stretched himself upward as far as he could, but the ledge remained just beyond his reach.

Eager to maintain his lead, Gai also propelled himself upward. Hound latched onto his ankle, pulling him back down and climbing up his back.

Gai rolled in the air and planted his feet back on the mountain's face. Hound buried his fingers into flesh and spandex as they were launched back into the air. Gai landed with a quake, and pebbles cascaded down like a waterfall. Kakashi clung to his shoulders like a cat that had scampered up a tree to escape a dog.

"Haha! Rival! What a rejuvenating run! I believe now we are ready for our most youthful spar!"

Hound detached himself, landing on the ground before collapsing onto the grass. His heart pounded against his ribs, his blood rushing in a frenzy. "Gai, you're a beast."

Gai plopped down on the grass next to him. "And you are not to be underestimated. Your youth burns brightly."

"Does it?" Hound—no, Kakashi—asked. They both fell quiet as nature resumed its nighttime serenade. Kakashi's breathing steadied, and they basked in the familiar glow of their rivalry.

"Your teammates must be pleased with your return," Gai said, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

Kakashi glanced at him. "I wouldn't know. I haven't seen them."

Gai's face hardened. "To abandon their teammate—"

Kakashi waved a hand, cutting him off. "In all fairness, I abandoned them first."

"You died an honorable death. You saved—"

"Gai, don't." He hoped Gai would understand without forcing him to elaborate. He couldn't claim such noble deeds. His supposed death hadn't saved anyone; if it had, his team would be alive and well.

Gai shook his head. "They shouldn't ignore you, Rival. To be here and not rush to your side—"

"Not everyone is like you, Gai." Kakashi sat up, surveying the empty observation point. The village lay dark below them but remained vibrant, a hive always busy even under the cover of night.

"You were their precious teammate. They lost their youthful fire when you died. Team 7 was shattered from that day on. Rin—" Gai hung his head, and a breeze swept his bangs aside. His eyes dimmed like dying embers. What had hollowed him out so suddenly?

"Gai? What happened to Rin?" Memories flashed unbidden—empty eyes losing their light, blood bubbling from lips instead of words, her last grimace rather than a smile, her heart a ruined mess in his hands. Wasn't everyone alive here? His hands shook, and nausea surged.

"She is unwell, my friend. Her youthful glow has been smothered, and she wastes away on her own."

"What?" Kakashi struggled to decipher Gai's poetic language, the double meaning eluding him. "She's sick?"

"It's not my place to say."

"Gai?"

"Forgive me, Rival."

Kakashi looked down at the village shrouded in darkness. The whispered rumors he had ignored—could they have been important? "Where can I find her?"

Kakashi turned to face Gai, who looked as if he had just stabbed a comrade. "Gai."

"There is no kind way to say what has become of our dear Rin. She currently resides at Shiroari-san's house. For your sake, Rival, don't visit her at night."

#

Hound was not one to heed warnings, a fault in his character. Once his feet set off in a certain direction, he was committed to reaching his destination. This trait made him devastating on the field but harmful to his own psyche.

Finding Shiroari-san's house was easy. After receiving basic directions from a reluctant Gai, the lights and noise led him the rest of the way. Hound stepped over a mostly empty soju bottle, wondering why the police hadn't shut this down since it was well past curfew.

He slinked closer to the house and watched as a couple stumbled out. One was definitely a shinobi; a chuunin Hound had seen near the wall. The other had an unfamiliar face. They both went down the road, and Hound waited to see if they'd look back. Although he couldn't distinguish the music, it was loud and thudding. Normally, Hound wouldn't attempt a transformation among his fellow shinobi, but these ones seemed too inebriated to notice.

With a pop of smoke, his silver hair turned brown and lay flat against his head, while his eyes turned grey. Hound had never been to any sort of party and found himself wrestling with an odd question: how does one enter a house party? 

His indecision left him pausing outside the door like an idiot. He knew he looked foolish but, then again, the shinobi best practices guide never covered how to enter house parties. He was fairly certain it assumed shinobi would avoid such locations.

Should he knock? It seemed polite but also inappropriate given he was infiltrating, not attending. Just as he was about to retreat to the safety of the bushes to quietly infiltrate, the door flew open and another man emerged. Hound froze, attributing his sudden paralysis to his earlier indecision.

The man glared at him. "Are you just gonna stand there or get out of my way?"

Hound stepped aside, allowing him to pass. "Fucking moron," the man muttered, trying to shoulder Hound as he went by, but Hound dodged.

The door remained open, providing an unintended invitation. Rude as the man was, he had solved Hound's dilemma. Hound stepped inside, vowing to himself to later research the social norms of entering house parties.

The house was saturated with the sour scents of alcohol and sweat. The walls vibrated and the lights pulsed in sync with the thumping music. It was disorienting; he couldn't even tell if the floorboards were creaking beneath him. The entrance to the sitting area was congested with people, none of whom gave him a second glance as he pushed past them into the crowded room.

Clusters of people were scattered on the furniture and along the walls. Hound's eyes darted from one group to another, avoiding sights best left unseen. The doors to the back were kept open, and more people milled around there.

Is this where he would find Rin? He couldn't imagine any shinobi worth their salt being here. The disregard for order and rules irritated him. The walls were sticky, the tatami was torn and stained, and the odor was stale and moldy. Gai must have been mistaken; he probably had the wrong house. Maybe she lived next door.

A flash of purple against a pale upturned jaw caught Hound's attention. A woman sat on the couch, pressed against a man who was talking to someone on the table. Her head rested against his shoulder as if she were asleep.

Dread overcame any relief he might have felt at seeing her alive. The man's hand moved up her leg and pulled it over his own, while she twirled his short hair between her fingers.

Echoes of Gai's warning reverberated in his chest. He should have listened. The insistent thudding of the music shook him to the core and made breathing difficult. The room's heat finally got to him. He turned and pushed through the crowd, but fingers curled around his sleeve and pulled him back.

"Find your girl?" A woman smirked, her red lips smeared. "I can help you make her very sorry."

Hound yanked his sleeve free. "Little man has a broken heart. She must have been special. Aren't you going to save her?"

Laughter filled the thick air as he quickly exited through the door he'd left open. Relief came as he darted through the trees, his sweat cooling him. He found himself back in the quiet dark village and collapsed onto the balcony of his borrowed apartment.

The interior was as dark as it should be. He checked the tub and closets for signs of intruders before closing all the thick curtains. Turning on the bathwater, he scraped his nails along his forearm as he waited for the tub to fill.

The foul odor from the party seemed to have followed him. He felt as if termites from the infested house were burrowing under his skin. He stopped the bathwater and switched to the shower, turning it to the hottest setting. Grabbing the soap, he quickly drenched his shirt enough to pull it off. It landed on the floor with a plop, and Kakashi knelt to scrub it with the soap.

He regretted his choice of clothing. These were clothes Sensei had given him, and he had worn them to that filthy place. Would the stains ever come out? Would Sensei notice?

Cursing as he saw he was staining the shirt with his own blood, he jumped up and kicked the shirt aside to avoid further damage. Focusing on his arms, he knew he needed to be clean before he could properly clean the clothes Sensei had gifted him. 

Sensei would never forgive him if he ruined those clothes.

Chapter Text

Are you not going to save her?

The mocking tone of those smeared red lips haunted him. Laughter echoed in the empty spaces of his mind. Every blink seemed to alternate between two haunting images: Rin pressed against a stranger and Rin dying, skewered on his arm.

Gai's forceful strike hit him in the chest like a battering ram, causing Hound to wheeze as he stumbled back.

Gai dropped his stance. "My rival, you seem to be somewhere else."

No kidding. He was pretty sure that hit had knocked his soul out of his body. "I'm fine. Let's go again." He resumed his fighting stance, but Gai didn't follow suit. "I'm fine."

"Rival—"

"Don't."

Gai pursed his lips and gestured with his hand for Kakashi to attack. Kakashi rushed forward and flipped over Gai's head, but his kick was blocked as if he'd hit a metal pole, causing his teeth to rattle. Nonetheless, he funneled some chakra into his shin, blasting Gai away.

Gai closed the gap between them with ease. Kakashi knew he needed to maintain distance; getting caught in a flurry of attacks could be detrimental. He substituted himself with a log—his favorite move—created a clone, and had the clone launch an attack from behind. Meanwhile, he sank into the ground to prepare the Headhunter Jutsu. Nothing was funnier than burying someone up to their neck.

His hand latched onto Gai's ankle, but instead of pulling him into the ground, Kakashi found himself being yanked out and thrown out of bounds by Gai's leg.

Kakashi rolled upon landing but didn't bother to get back on his feet. Why should he? Those who lose on the battlefield don't rise again. 

The sky above him deepened to a dark blue, the hue further darkened by heavy clouds. He heard Gai's footsteps on the pebbled landscape, the sound abnormally loud, making his ear itch. Accepting Gai's offered hand, he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

"My rival, you seem distracted."

"Do I?"

If anyone could make Gai scowl, it was Kakashi. That thought brought him some small comfort. Gai put his hands on Kakashi's shoulders and shook him. "You do! Let me help you with whatever is troubling you."

Kakashi grabbed Gai's forearms. "You've spent the last two days with me. Aren't you neglecting your team?"

A look of guilt crossed Gai's face. "Gai," Kakashi sighed, "if you have responsibilities, attend to them first."

"It's just training."

"Just training," Kakashi repeated, "says the Green Beast of Konoha."

"You should come with me!" Gai grinned.

Kakashi didn't want to go. It was one thing to be with Gai, who had never left his side, but it was another to be with others. Gai's team had never minced words with him, a fact that bothered Gai even if it didn't bother Kakashi. "I'm fine. Take care of your team. We don't leave them behind, even in training."

Gai sagged and clenched his fist. "Yes, you embody that principle so well, Rival!" Tears streamed down his face as he lifted his head. "I will never abandon my team, even in training! I will train twice as hard in honor of your wise advice, and I will take this lesson to heart!" Gai took off, leaving a cloud of dirt in his wake.

"What?" Kakashi asked, although no one was there to explain.

If there was one thing Kakashi did not embody, it was teamwork. He shook his head, accepting that Gai probably didn't think through half of what he said.

Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.

Are you not going to save her?

#

The party house looked different during the day than it did at night. Tall plants lay flat, trampled on the ground, and trash was scattered everywhere. He itched to clean it up. The porch was rotting, and one of its pillars was missing a sizable chunk. Above it, a balcony with missing spindles on its railing was occupied by Rin, who leaned against it with a cigarette in hand. Her unkempt appearance was jarring.

She looked down at him and took a drag from her cigarette. "I didn't expect you to come here. Didn't Obito warn you away from me?"

He took a few steps closer. "No one warned me. Gai told me where to find you."

Rin laughed. "How is that even worse?"

Kakashi wasn't sure what she meant.

"Did you need something, or did you come here just to gawk?"

"Are you off today?" Kakashi asked.

Rin's eyebrows furrowed. "Off from what?"

"The hospital. Is it your day off?"

"They really didn't tell you anything, did they?" She gave a humorless laugh. "I don't work at the hospital anymore."

Kakashi's brows furrowed. "Where do you work then?"

Rin grinned, showing sharp teeth. "Maybe if you come in, I'll show you. Maybe I won't even charge you for it, for old times' sake."

Oh.

Rin dropped her head down and laughed at him. His stomach felt as though it had joined the rest of the litter on the ground. "Rin—"

"Go away, Kashi-kun. You saw what you came to see." She flicked her lit cigarette butt to the ground. Kakashi rushed over to stomp it out before it could set the weeds on fire. Rin scoffed and walked back into the house.

He looked back up at the empty balcony. He had been told to leave and couldn't blame her, but he felt like he'd just swallowed vinegar.

#

Kakashi didn't have anywhere to go. Gai was busy, and that was that. Was it sad that he had only one person in his life who brought him enjoyment?

He could always rile up the locals by showing his face; it was better than being alone in the dignitary suite. 

Showing up in town was an easy way to discover the latest village gossip. He was blamed for nearly everything that went wrong, whether the accusations made sense or not.

A genin team died at the hands of an Iwa scout? They whispered that Friend-Killer Kakashi had paid the scout to do it. Someone broke his leg on the training field? Friend-Killer Kakashi must have rigged a trap. A random couple was splitting up? Friend-Killer Kakashi probably seduced the wife.

The accusations were baseless and strange, but Kakashi's presence alone fueled the gossip mill. With his hands in his pockets, he realized he had nothing to read. As he approached the market area, he thought about buying a few items if someone was willing to sell to him.

He walked in, expecting people to part before him, but no one did. Were they expecting him to shout "unclean" through their streets? Finally, someone bumped shoulders with him, apologized with a smile, and moved on.

Kakashi watched her leave and then blend into the crowd. Meanwhile, people continued to push past him as if he were a rock in a river. Vendors shouted, trying to get his attention.

This was new.

Curiosity led him to a vendor selling produce. He purchased a woven bag filled with thick cabbage and long carrots. The vendor proudly told him that his wife had woven the bag. Kakashi added a pear to his purchase, simply because the man seemed so pleased to sell his produce.

Kakashi then merged back into the crowd, allowing himself a moment to simply exist within the village, amongst the people he served to protect.

However, the novelty wore off quickly. He stepped out of the market and scanned the area to see if anyone was following him. It seemed he had remained anonymous. He looked up at the familiar sight of Hokage Mountain. Sensei's face had been completed after his death. Kushina had teased him a lot while it was being constructed, but both had been flushed with pride. Would they have been so proud if they had known that it would serve as a monument to his "heroic sacrifice," as the Third had declared at their funeral?

Here, Sensei must have seen its completion. Because Sensei is alive, right?

Kakashi turned toward the Hokage Tower. He needed to see Sensei himself to verify that he wasn't wrong. Seeing him in the hospital that one day must not have been a dream.

"Do you have an appointment?"

The man behind the desk gave him a bored look. Kakashi was taken aback; he had never needed an appointment to see the Hokage, whether it was the Third or the Fourth. "I don't—"

"Then he's busy."

"Can I make an appointment?"

"For what purpose?" The man eyed him skeptically.

"I have some matters I wish to discuss with him."

"The Hokage is a very busy man."

Kakashi was growing impatient. "And I'm his student."

"I know his students. You are not one of them."

Kakashi's hands itched for action, perhaps even to pencil in his own appointment using this man's blood. But an ANBU agent appeared in the shadows as a warning.

Kakashi frowned. "You know his students? What can you tell me about Rin Nohara?"

"Nothing. I suggest you leave. The Hokage is too busy." Wolf stepped forward, lending his authority to the man blocking Kakashi's entrance.

Kakashi studied him, but saw nothing but cold resentment. He turned away and exited the tower, glancing up at the office windows, expecting—what, he refused to acknowledge.

He could try to talk to Kushina, but that felt intrusive, like walking across wet cement. Rubbing a hand across his forehead, he adjusted the strap of his eyepatch. Weariness was setting in, but he was not in the mood to sleep.

Kakashi could investigate this issue further; the Hokage had just been the easiest route. Now that option was closed to him, so he headed to the hospital. That's where she had been working.

She had been excited when she was accepted. Her eyes had sparkled when she received her medic tag after reciting the oath. Kakashi had made sure Obito saw it too. Obito was the first person she hugged after her release, and Kakashi could never quite express how proud he was of her, no matter how hard he squeezed her in a hug.

Upon entering the hospital, the receptionist greeted him. He inclined his head. "I have an appointment with Medic Nohara."

The receptionist looked at him strangely. "Nohara? Ah, you mean Uhara."

Kakashi shook his head. "No, Nohara Rin."

"I thought we had scheduled everyone. Nohara doesn't work at the hospital anymore."

"Perhaps I was difficult to reach due to my missions. Why did Nohara leave the hospital?" Kakashi leaned against the counter.

The woman leaned forward and whispered, "She was caught stealing medication."

Kakashi frowned, trying not to dwell on how little sense that made. "How was she caught?"

"Newly installed cameras. She wasn't the only one; several were caught. But she must have stolen the most, as her license was revoked."

"When did this happen?"

"A couple of months ago. Oh! If you give me your name, I can reschedule your appointment."

Kakashi waved her off. "Don't worry about it. It wasn’t important anyway."

Medication theft. What's going on, Rin?

Chapter Text

The banging on the door woke Kakashi with a start. He lifted his head, then dropped it back down onto the pillow. It had to be Gai. In some ways, it was kind of him to be so loud. A quiet footfall was far more fatal to him than banging; no one bangs on things when they're trying to kill you. Despite that, it was annoying, and he had fallen asleep only two hours ago. 

He pushed himself out of bed and trudged to the door. Gai beamed at him with far too much joy for Kakashi's sleep-deprived eyes. "Gai."

"Kakashi, my rival, I have a joyous invite! My team would like to invite you to train with us."

Kakashi had to replay that in his head a few times. "Your team is inviting me?"

"Yes! They were very enthusiastic!"

"Shiranui and Ebisu were?" Kakashi knew both of them. Shiranui Genma was also in ANBU, and they had crossed paths many times. He had been friendly despite the rumors, but things changed after the Fourth's death. 

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just cursed, Hatake?

"I shouldn't intrude on team training," Kakashi replied. Team training was intensely private. What you shared with your team, your weaknesses and goals, were closely guarded. To invite an outsider was rare for a reason. 

"They're waiting for us."

"Give me a bit." Kakashi closed the door behind Gai and left to get his training gear. He felt out of touch with himself, as if he were on autopilot. Somehow, he felt like he was walking into a trap, but this was Gai.

But not his Gai.

"Rival, have you eaten?"

Kakashi waved away the concern. "I don't care to eat right after waking up."

"Then, after training, we will all go out together."

"Ah." There wasn’t much he could say to that. Gai seemed to be under the impression they were all going to become friends. That just didn't happen when he was involved. But he had no desire to disappoint Gai either. He was already weary of socializing, and he hadn't even left the apartment yet.

Gai led the way to the training field his team had claimed for the day. As they arrived, Gai greeted them cheerfully, and Kakashi wondered if it was too late to leave.

Shiranui grinned around the senbon between his teeth and walked over to Kakashi. "Well, if it isn't the genius of our generation, back from the dead. Pretty impressive feat."

Ebisu hung back, watching him with sharp eyes. "Obito says he's a fraud, but the Hokage says he crossed dimensions. Either way, he's not back from the dead."

Gai laughed forcefully and gestured dramatically, accidentally hitting Ebisu in the face. "My rival, I am so glad you could join us. What do you say we begin?"

Ebisu clutched his nose, and Genma threw an arm around his shoulders. "I want to see if all your boasting is true, about him being able to keep up with you."

"Can anyone keep up with Gai?" Kakashi quipped, attempting to lower expectations. Still, he followed Gai to the middle of the field. Gai was practically vibrating in place. They had sparred before, but this felt different. Maybe because Kakashi wasn't hiding.

Kakashi struck first, and Gai, of course, blocked it. He moved quickly to the side as Gai countered with his own attack. But Kakashi was going to win this one; he had learned about this version of Gai—how he differed from the one Kakashi knew and how he remained the same. He lost all those other matches, and now it was time to show off what he had learned. Because this Gai had no idea how fast Kakashi could actually move or how he was learning to intertwine his ninjutsu with his taijutsu.

Gai, his movements fluid and meticulous, unleashed a relentless barrage of punches, his fists moving in a blurring dance of precision and force. Each strike was a testament to his training and unwavering spirit, yet Kakashi, with his innate sense of timing, twisted away deftly from each impending blow.

The air pulsed with tension, Kakashi’s eyes narrowing, his movements a dance of their own, echoing the rhythm of battle that played around them. Seizing a fleeting opportunity, his fingers latched onto the tight, green spandex Gai wore, using his opponent’s momentum to send him skidding across the ground, the earth tearing beneath him.

Without losing a beat, Gai regained his composure and, like a human projectile, launched himself at Kakashi once more, his body a blur of power. Kakashi waited, every muscle coiled in anticipation, every sense tuned to the impending collision.

Then, with a sudden clap of hands against the ground, he commanded the very earth beneath them. A thick wall of soil and stone erupted between them, a solid barrier to intercept Gai’s human missile. The impact reverberated through the ground, the raw power of Gai’s assault shaking the newly formed wall, threatening to tear it asunder. The other side bore the evidence of the colossal strike, cracks snaking across the surface. 

Yet, despite the formidable assault, the earthen barrier held steadfast, a silent guardian between the two warriors. Kakashi’s gaze lingered on the cracked surface, a reflective stillness enveloping him amidst the symphony of battle, pondering the seemingly unrelenting resolve and boundless energy of his opponent. 

And Gai, with his muscles tense and breathing measured, eyed the barrier, a blend of respect and unyielding spirit in his gaze. A tense silence settled around them, the air thick with unspoken words and unbroken wills, a transient calm in the storm of their clash.

Shiranui spat out his senbon as he doubled over in laughter, while Ebisu ran over to check on Gai.

"Oh man, that was rich. You got him good," said Genma. Ebisu and Gai emerged from behind the wall, Gai's spandex torn and his knees exposed, but he looked absolutely delighted in his loss.

Genma grabbed Kakashi by the shoulder and shook him. "My turn. I want to see how I measure up."

"Then I will go next," Ebisu declared.

Was he a yardstick? Kakashi gave a sharp nod, and Genma shot him a grin.

#

Kakashi ended up having lunch with the team. Shiranui leaned across the table, his hands in his hair. "How did we all lose to you? You're what, 14?"

"16."

"Ugh, that's gross."

"Kakashi has always been beyond his years. That's why he's my rival!" Gai exclaimed.

"Quiet down; there's no need to shout," Shiranui muttered.

"It is rather impressive," Ebisu said, adjusting his sunglasses. "You took us on one after another. You were ranked Jounin just before you 'died,' were you not?"

"He didn't die. This is a different Kakashi," Shiranui corrected him.

"Even so, did you make it to ANBU?" Ebisu whispered.

"He's not going to tell you; he's a stickler for the rules," Shiranui scoffed. "A bit like you, unless you're feeling nosy."

Their orders arrived, and Gai groaned. "Kakashi, where is your food? You can't live on just tea."

"I have food at the place where I'm staying."

"But my rival, we can't eat in front of you; it's unyouthful." Gai looked as if he'd just gutted his tortoise.

"Really, it's fine. I'm not hungry."

Shiranui leaned over and spoke with the waitress. Kakashi didn't want to waste money dining out; it seemed frivolous, and how would he account for it when returning the money loaned to him by Konoha? The waitress returned with an empty plate, and Shiranui placed some of his meal on it. Just as he was about to pass it to Kakashi, Ebisu snatched it and added his own portion.

"What a beautiful display of camaraderie!" Gai wept rivers of tears and happily added some of his curry to the plate as well.

Kakashi stared down at the odd assortment of food on the plate. He felt numb toward the gesture; he had told them it was unnecessary.

Gratitude is the key to happiness.

"Thank you," he bowed to the group. Did he owe them something now? "ANBU," he finally said. The group looked at him curiously. "I was recently transferred back to ANBU with the rank of captain."

"What!" Genma lamented, hanging his head. "He's 16, and he beats me here too?"

#

Kakashi walked up the steps to his sensei's yellow house. It felt a bit like a dream, as if everything had been neatly undone. Not even the nail holes from the boards over the windows remained. The yellow paint seemed vibrant, as though it hid the life within. Would the image shatter if he knocked too hard?

Holding his breath, he knocked. The image stayed the same, but there was a shout from inside, followed by a screech of impressive caliber.

Kushina yanked the door open, a blonde toddler tucked under one arm like a bundle of sticks.

"Kakashi-san!"

Kakashi bowed. "Kushina-san, I was—"

"Come inside. It's a mess, but that's life with this little terrorist." She swung the door open wider for him.

A feeling like spiders crawling down his throat hit him, and he swallowed to move them along. Kushina kicked a toy out of the way and set Naruto back on his feet. The boy grabbed hold of his mom's green dress and looked up at Kakashi with wide eyes. Kakashi wished he would stop; looking too closely would surely reveal the wreckage he had brought upon this child's life.

"Naruto, this is your Kakashi-nii."

Kakashi stumbled over the familial term. "It's just Kakashi, please."

Kushina huffed, "Just Kakashi? You were Minato's student the longest."

His tongue burned with all the things he should say. "I had a question for Sensei. I can't request an appointment to see him. Could you pass along that I'm looking to schedule a meeting?"

Kushina's brows furrowed. "You can't schedule an appointment? Aren't you on the list?"

"I'm listed as dead."

"But still! You've been here a few days already, right? He should have done that by now."

"Nine days."

"Nine?! Are you serious? Where has the time gone? Nine days, and I haven't had you over for dinner? I'm so sorry."

Kushina had no business apologizing to him. "Please, it's fine. Could you just pass along my message? I'm trying to find out what's happening with Rin."

"Rin? What do you want to know about—Naruto, no!" Kushina rushed over, jamming her fingers into Naruto's mouth. "Don't you bite me." She pulled her fingers out, a string of drool attached. "Don't eat string, Naru-chan," she scolded, before disappearing for a moment.

"She doesn't work at the hospital anymore," Kakashi probed.

"She doesn't do a lot of things anymore. Did you see her?"

"Briefly."

"Then you know."

"But what happened?"

"Do you really have to ask? You died."

That wasn't it. "I heard she was stealing medication."

Kushina picked up Naruto and set him on her hip. "She's not what you probably remember. It would be best to keep your distance. She's different now, warped even. We tried to help her, but she refused to stop. You don't understand all that she did, what she took. It's heartbreaking. She had so much promise."

"She had promise?" That rubbed him the wrong way, as if they had given up on Rin.

Those who break the rules are scum, but those who leave their teammates behind are worse than scum.

"What about Obito?" Kakashi asked.

"He's fine. He's working hard."

Something in her tone didn't sit well with him. "He's in ANBU."

Kushina sighed. "Yes, he is. I never expected him to go that far, but he was determined. He knew you would have ended up there. From what I hear, he was right."

Did their rivalry extend past his death? Obito was too good for ANBU; he had no business skulking in the shadows, doing the village's dirty work. He deserved to be seen and recognized for all he had to offer. "Why would Sensei allow him to join?"

"Hey now, he's not the little screw-up you remember—"

"He was never a screw-up!" Kakashi snapped. Her wide blue eyes reminded him of whom he was talking to. He bowed. "Sorry."

"Are you okay, Kakashi-kun? Maybe some tea or—"

"No, no thank you. I should go. You weren't expecting me, and I'm imposing."

"I should have invited you over a long time ago, you know. I'm at fault."

"Mah, I've been busy. Gai has been banging on my door every day. In fact, I'm late to meet with him. If you could pass along my message to Sensei." He bowed and turned to leave quickly.

He had only managed to get a couple of feet away from the house when he heard his name being called. Turning around, he saw Kushina hurrying toward him with Naruto on her hip. "Kakashi, wait a minute. I wanted to say something. I'll pass along your message, but I don't know when Minato will reach out to you. Your death was hard on him, you know." She shifted to her other foot and tugged Naruto's pant leg down. "Having you back, knowing you're not staying—it's hard on him. I think if you had plans to stay, it would be different, you know? I'm just saying give him time. It's hard for everyone."

Kakashi felt like she was expecting a specific response, but he wasn't sure what to say. It was a strange request, and he couldn't articulate why.

"Kakashi-kun?"

Turning to face her properly, he said, "I'll be patient," giving her the answer she seemed to want. She looked relieved, but he found no comfort in giving the right answer. "I'll go now."

"Take care, Kakashi-kun!"

Kakashi took to the rooftops, unsure of where to go, but knowing the door behind him was now closed.

Chapter Text

Dew lay heavy on the memorial stone and rolled down its face, as if the names themselves were crying. The sorrow of the forgotten went unheard by all except Kakashi. His skin was tacky from the humidity, and dew dripped down the side of his face. He stared at the foot of the stone, imagining the rest of it—how it should look without his name defacing it.

A songbird landed on top of the stone and whistled, reminding him that day had already approached. It was time for him to rejoin the world. He rolled his shoulders, startling the bird, which flew off in a flurry of feathers. He watched it go to a nearby tree, tweet a scolding remark at him, and then continue on its journey. The bird was probably right; he should be training. When he returns, he'll still need to be mission-ready.

He briefly considered meeting up with Gai and his team but decided against it; he didn't want to keep intruding on them. They didn't need an extra person always hanging around. He rubbed his neck and headed to one of the less frequently used training grounds. Kakashi wasn't particularly interested in socializing anyway, something he had been doing more than usual over the past couple of days.

During his training, Kakashi allowed himself to stop thinking and simply experience. He let momentum drive him, the strain in his muscles fuel him, and the burning in his lungs motivate him further. As long as he could move, he would. Don't stop, don't lose control. His head buzzed, and his back was slick with sweat. Something snapped, and he flung shuriken at the noise. Twisting on his ankle, he realized the only movement he had captured was a few stray leaves falling to the ground. He watched their descent, and only when they landed did he straighten up. The trees offered no clues, but that didn't mean no one was there.

The interruption reminded Kakashi of his need for water. If he were better at water jutsus, he could probably pull moisture from the air to drink. It was something to look into. He gathered his tools and headed back to the apartment for a shower.

There was an excited knock on the front door. Kakashi knew only one person who would be that excited to be at his door. As he opened it, Gai called out from the other side, "My Rival!"

"Gai."

"My team is going out for drinks! I insist you come with me!"

Drinks already? Where had the time gone? "Well, it's a bit early for drinking."

Gai threw his head back as if Kakashi had told him a joke. "In a couple of hours. Ebisu has a few matters to attend to. We just finished our training for the day, and I came here to invite you."

"Ah."

"So, will you come?"

Was there any way to get out of this? He wouldn't mind a couple of drinks, though. "Sure."

"Great! I'll see you tonight, then!" Gai took off suddenly before Kakashi could even ask which bar. He shook his head in mild amusement. He'd figure it out. Gai was not hard to spot in a bar—or anywhere, for that matter. Stealth was not his strong suit.

Kakashi stepped outside, letting the late afternoon sun warm him. He briefly wondered what Rin was doing. Maybe a bar would be a setting where she would feel comfortable, and he could ask her some questions.

#

Kakashi frowned when he heard glass shatter, followed by a shout. He dropped into a crouch and immediately focused on the house from which the noise was coming. He crept toward the house and stilled his breathing to better hear what was being said.

"Where is it?" Kakashi identified the speaker as an unknown male voice.

"I don't know; maybe one of your sleazeball friends took it," Rin fired back.

The sound of a slap stung Kakashi's nerves, but he didn't give away his position. Frankly, he didn't know who had slapped whom.

"You probably smoked it all. That was a product to be sold, bitch! All that money is gone because of you."

"I didn't touch it!" Rin snarled.

"You fucking did!" There was the sound of scuffling and some screeching. But if they were trying to hurt each other, they would. Rin was as trained as any other shinobi. She could manage a tussle. The door rattled, and he crouched lower among the tall weeds. The door slid open with a bounce, and Rin stumbled down the porch and steps but quickly regained her footing.

"Fuck you!" Rin shouted at him. "You worthless piece of shit!"

The man wasn't very tall and looked like he had a severe case of acne. "You bring me the money you smoked, or you don't come back, whore." The door slammed closed to punctuate his sentence but bounced back open. He had to close it again.

"No one wants to live in your dump, anyway," Rin muttered. "Give me my stuff!"

"Give me my money!"

Rin bared her teeth in a sneer, picked up a rock, and threw it at the house. It hit the door paneling and bounced off. She then snagged a glass bottle and threw it; it shattered on the porch. "Ass!"

Rin swung around and grabbed something else to hurl at the house when the door opened again.

"I said fuck off!" He took several steps as if he were going to rush at her. Kakashi's knees tensed, ready to spring into action to protect her, but Rin took several steps back and flipped him off. The man never left his porch, but he watched Rin march down the path away from the house.

Kakashi studied the man until he headed back inside. He couldn't claim to know him. It wasn't particularly surprising; Kakashi never claimed to be social.

He easily tracked Rin. She wasn't even trying to be aware of her surroundings. She kept adjusting her shirt; the collar was stretched out awkwardly on her.

She was nearly back in town when Kakashi decided to drop down in front of her. She stopped, and her eyes widened. "Kakashi?"

He straightened up. "Rin," he greeted.

She looked behind her and then around. "Where did you come from?"

"Around."

Rin stared at him as if waiting for something, though he wasn't sure what. She then sighed heavily and walked around him.

"Where are you headed?" Kakashi moved to follow her.

"Somewhere."

Kakashi wondered if she knew he had witnessed the earlier exchange, or if he was reading too much into her response. "If you need a place to go, you can come with me." Was that okay to say?

Rin squinted at him, and Kakashi found himself bracing for something. "You were there, weren't you? Spying on me."

Spying? Well, technically, that was probably true, but that had not been his intention. "I came to invite you out, but then—" He let the words trail off, unsure what to say next.

"Seriously?" Her brows furrowed.

Kakashi shrugged.

"Where did you want to go?"

"Mm, Gai's team invited me out for drinks."

She seemed to be waiting for more, but he had nothing else to offer.

Slowly, she nodded her head. "Alright, Kashi-kun."

Kakashi felt his entire being cringe at that. Rin giggled, and Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "Don't you think I'm too old for such a name?"

He immediately regretted saying anything. The small amount of joy she had was stripped from her, like tearing off wallpaper and leaving the wall marred.

"If you need a place to stay, there's another room where I am." He felt like he was walking a fine line. Just because she had to leave her boyfriend's house didn't mean she had no place to go. But if she didn't, and he didn't offer, what kind of teammate would he be?

Obito, I'm trying.

"Where are you staying?" Rin asked.

"Ah, in the dignitary suites."

"Oh, fancy. The benefits of being the teacher's pet. He must be thrilled to have you back." Rin gave him a plastic smile. "I've always wanted to see what the dignitary suite looks like, so I'll take you up on your offer."

#

Rin didn't have anything with her—no clothes, no toothbrush—and yet she didn't seem particularly disturbed by it. She wandered around the apartment, running her hand along the walls. Kakashi felt the urge to grab a bucket of soapy water and follow her.

"You can stay in this room." The room was furnished, even boasting a few yukatas and slippers in the closet.

"You don't want to share a room?" Rin winked.

"Why would we share? There's plenty of space."

Rin covered her mouth as she laughed. "You're so cute. Never change."

But he was trying to change.

"I'll work on dinner."

"Oh! I forgot you could cook. I remember that one time you had us over for dinner; you made that fish. It was so good. You could always do everything perfectly."

He felt like a failure at everything that mattered.

She liked the fish he had made for them? He had stopped making it after they were gone. Could he still manage it? He was relieved to find he didn't have all the ingredients for that dish. A simple meal of vegetables and rice was all he had to offer. He knocked on the bedroom door. "I'm leaving to meet Gai's team; do you want to come?"

"No thanks," Rin's small voice barely made it through the door.

Kakashi had hoped he could talk to her there. Perhaps she knew that, which is why she was avoiding him. "There's leftover dinner if you're hungry."

He left the apartment, having no real interest in going either. But he had told Gai he would.

A good friend keeps his word.

#

Kakashi pushed back the hanging fabric as he entered. The sour scent of sake and wood lacquer mingled with the haze of cigarette smoke. Gai was easy to spot; he was even waving Kakashi over. Others looked in his direction, and he had to resist the urge to disappear.

He slid into a booth next to Gai, and a cup was pushed in front of him. Genma reached over and filled it. "I almost thought you weren't coming, but Gai insisted on having faith."

Kakashi pulled the drink toward himself. Gai grinned widely and shook Kakashi's shoulders. "My rival is very reliable. If he says he will be there, then he will be there!" Gai added, clearly satisfied.

Kakashi was surprised; he had never heard himself described that way. He tried to hide behind the cup as best he could.

"I guess they'll let just anyone in here."

Kakashi looked up and found himself face-to-face with an older Obito Uchiha. His jaw had squared out and was marred with dark stubble.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Genma demanded through clenched teeth.

"If you don't know, you're stupider than I thought."

Kakashi focused on the cup, but he could see Obito's twisted reflection in it. It was so different from the Obito he once knew. He felt an unbearable desire to throw the cup against the wall and shatter it. He couldn't help it; he knew he was a coward. But how could he discard something so precious?

Gai stood up. "How can you say that about your teammate?"

"He's no teammate of mine. Kakashi died. I was there when it happened. This is nothing but a fake, and you all are idiots for not seeing through such an obvious disguise."

Ebisu pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. "You have one part right; he is no teammate of yours. We were having a nice evening; perhaps you should return to yours."

Obito huffed and went to a nearby table, followed by Asuma.

"We should go somewhere else," Gai suggested.

Kakashi shook his head and glanced at Obito. He wasn't angry with him. He had been longing to see him again and felt a great desire to beg for forgiveness. The best he could do was give Obito the space he clearly wanted. He stood up and left some ryo on the table. "I have other things I should be doing."

"You're leaving?" The disappointment in Gai's voice was almost too much for him to bear. It was the extra push he needed to step out the door and into the brisk night air, thick with the scent of fresh leaves. "Where are you going?" he muttered to himself.

The apartment was dark, but there was a pungent smell of dead skunk. Hopefully, it would dissipate over time; stenches, like blood, were difficult to remove. He stood in front of Rin's door and waited. He could hear a faint, almost mournful voice from within the room.

Empathy is important to friendship.

Kakashi would want to be alone to grieve in private. He didn't know what she was grieving, but he could at least offer space. He had nothing else to give.

I'm sorry.

Chapter Text

Rin was dressed in the same loose clothes as yesterday. The scent from last night clung to her like damp fur on a dog. It was just past noon, and Kakashi had only returned to the apartment to grab a ration bar.

"Morning."

Despite the simple greeting, he wasn't sure how to respond.

Rin leaned against the kitchen counter. "How was your evening at the bar? Meet any cute girls?"

"I met with Gai and his team." There was a moment when Rin seem to be waiting for something more, but Kakashi could not begin to guess. He answered her question. 

Rin sighed heavily, dropping her head. "I forgot what having a conversation with you was like." She went to the fridge and pulled out the container of her dinner. She lifted the lid and then returned it. 

"Do you have a mission soon?"

Rin snorted and closed the fridge door. "I'm not an active kunoichi."

"Why not?"

Her face darkened. "We already went over that."

"You told me you weren't working at the hospital. That doesn't stop you from being a kunoichi."

"Not all of us are like you."

"What does that mean?"

"Doesn't matter."

Kakashi didn't know where to go with this. He couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong.

"Would you like to train with me?"

"Is that all you do?" Rin put her cup down on the kitchen counter. "I just told you I'm not a kunoichi."

"Then what are you?"

Rin gave him a dry look. "That's the question, isn't it?"

What were they even talking about? He felt like Rin was saying something, but he wasn't grasping what she was trying to convey. Look underneath the underneath he reminded himself, but he wasn’t sure how to do that at this moment.

"Do you miss your boyfriend?"

Rin looked startled and then started laughing. "My boyfriend? Is that what you thought? Oh my God, Kakashi, never change."

But he was trying to change. She reached out to ruffle his hair, but he ducked out of the way. She scowled and left, heading back to her room. Kakashi felt guilt well up in him. Why was he such a bad friend? And why did she not want that to change?

#

Obito was in Konoha. ANBU missions were often given suddenly, but usually at night. If Obito was able to go to the bar last night, then he should be around. Kakashi found him in one of the training grounds that the ANBU favored. It was a secluded area that Kakashi had used during joint training sessions with his team.

Obito was in a strong stance, his hair dripping with sweat. He moved through his kata, utilizing his broader frame to its full potential. His strikes would be devastating. Kakashi almost wanted to feel them, to see how strong Obito could be when he wasn't trying to mimic Kakashi and was actually working with his own strengths. Kakashi's nimble form could never manage the strength Obito possessed.

Fire erupted from Obito's mouth. Kakashi rolled out of the way and back onto his feet.

Obito bared his teeth in a sneer. "Spying on me?"

This was the second person who had accused Kakashi of spying. They acted as if it were a strange thing for a shinobi to do. "I—"

"Save it, Fraud," Obito interrupted, hurling himself at Kakashi, who feinted to the right. While Kakashi was curious to see how strong Obito was now, that didn't mean he was going to give him a free hit.

The air between Obito's fist and Kakashi's face was smoldering. Was Obito planning to burn him with each strike? Kakashi put some distance between them.

"Running away? Kakashi always faced me head-on!"

Well, that Obito wasn't trying to burn his face off. Or at least, when he was, he telegraphed his intention with a slow-moving katon.

Obito kept the pressure on, forcing Kakashi to give up ground. Kakashi tried to escape using a substitution jutsu, but Obito's Sharingan saw through it. No matter where Kakashi ran, Obito charged after him like a bull seeing red.

"Stop running!" Obito ordered, as if that were a reasonable demand. Kakashi had just used another substitution jutsu, and Obito responded by setting it aflame.

Burning logs littered the field, and the smoke began to irritate Kakashi's eyes. Obito was probably missing his goggles by now; he was squinting through the haze. The funny thing about eye jutsu is that if you take away someone's vision, they can't use their jutsu anymore.

Kakashi dashed to where the smoke was thickest, using it as cover while he dove into the earth to prepare for his headhunter jutsu. Enclosed on all sides by rock, he felt momentarily calm—or maybe that was just the lack of air.

He felt Obito stomp over him. "Who the hell do you think you are, trying to trick us into believing you're him? Kakashi was the best shinobi Konoha ever produced. I work every day to live up to what he could have been! But you disgrace his—"

Kakashi's hand burst from the ground, grabbing Obito's ankle. In the next second, he was free, and Obito was encased in earth up to his neck. He looked like a strange shrub.

Kakashi crouched down in front of him, knowing Obito couldn't move. It would take him a while to escape without help. Obito bared his teeth, but it wasn't threatening through his tears.

"Obito," Kakashi murmured, "still a crybaby."

Obito gaped at him for a moment, but Kakashi couldn't figure out how to fill the silence. The words he usually spoke at the memorial stone escaped him.

Obito's face contorted. "It's the smoke! Who the fuck are you to call me that?"

"Where are your goggles?"

A familiar pout tugged at Kakashi's heart. His throat burned as much as his eyes did.

"Are you…crying?"

"I'm sorry," Kakashi croaked out.

"What the hell? Don't use his face to cry!"

"I was a bad teammate, and I got you killed because of it."

"What are you talking about? Is this a play? Fuck off. Kakashi never cried. Ninja Rule Number 13: don't show emotions."

"Fuck the ninja rules!" Kakashi snapped.

"What?" Obito's voice dropped low.

Glaring at him, Kakashi was unwilling to back down. He felt a pulse of fiery chakra; the ground warmed under his hand. "You'll hurt yourself if you keep that up."

"What did you say?"

Kakashi rose to the challenge. "Forget the ninja rules."

Obito's hand burst out of the ground and wrapped around Kakashi's neck. His grip, strong as corded steel, pulled Kakashi to the ground while Obito used his neck as leverage to climb out of the earth. Obito released him only to slam his other fist into Kakashi's face.

Kakashi's vision blurred momentarily as he scrambled to catch the incoming fist. Obito grabbed his vest and shoved him onto his back, straddling him. He then let out a roar as he rained down blows against Kakashi's arms, which were shielding his face. His fists were relentless.

Using a burst of strength, Kakashi bucked Obito off and managed to free his leg, flipping their positions. He shoved Obito hard, slamming his head against the ground. As Obito reached for his face, Kakashi pulled on a fistful of his hair.

"Let go!" Obito yelled.

"You let go!" Kakashi hissed, despite the fingers digging into his cheek.

"Damn you!"

In a desperate move, Kakashi turned his head and bit Obito's hand through his mask. Obito yelped and jerked away.

"Did you just bite me?"

"And if I did? Is there a rule against biting that I'm not aware of?"

"Shinobi don't bite each other!"

"Since when?" Kakashi retorted.

"There's no honor in biting someone!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes and released Obito's hair. "What are you, a samurai?"

Obito sputtered and pointed a finger at him. "I'm ANBU, and we don't bite people!"

"Well, this ANBU did," Kakashi scoffed.

Obito sat up, his eyes sharp. "Show me."

Though annoyed by the order, Kakashi didn't want another fight. He rolled up his sleeve, revealing his ANBU tattoo.

Obito sucked in a breath through his teeth and showed his own tattoo. Kakashi already knew he was ANBU. "You really are him. I knew you would have ended up in ANBU if you'd lived long enough," Obito whispered.

"I didn't think you would," Kakashi admitted.

"What are you trying to say?" Obito growled.

"Nothing, it's just a dark path. Not something I would have wished for you," Kakashi said, rubbing his face. "You hit like a freight train."

Obito grinned. "And you're impossible to hold onto, like a fish."

"Maa, you'd think an ANBU like yourself would be able to handle a fish by now," Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Guess you still struggle with the basics."

Obito sprang to his feet, pointing down at him. "Listen here, Bakashi, I'm not that dumb kid anymore!"

Of course, he wasn't. He was tall, his jawline had squared, and he was in ANBU. Very little remained of the Obito Uchiha he had known. "Being a 'dumb kid' was his best trait. I learned a lot from him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Obito asked.

Kakashi pushed himself to his feet, feeling a weight on his shoulders. "Every day, I strive to be as good a teammate as he was."

"What are you talking about?" Obito snapped, thrusting his thumb against his chest. "You died because of me! I was late to your first mission as a jounin. I put you in a bad mood because I was disrespectful. Then, I insisted we go back for Rin when she got captured, instead of continuing the mission as we should have. We could have gone back for her later, if at all!"

Kakashi felt his veins turn to ice. "What?"

"If Rin had been a better kunoichi, she would never have gotten caught like that. If I had just paid more attention to the rules, we could have completed the mission objective, and the war could have ended sooner. But because of me, the war dragged on, and you died! You would have had a brilliant career, and I stole that from you."

What was he supposed to do with all this information? "If we hadn't gone back, Rin might have died."

"So?" Obito glared at him, his eyes watery. "She would have been better off dead than becoming what she is now. I guess you haven't seen her if you're concerned about that."

Kakashi's knees buckled; the ground seemed to vanish beneath him. In what world would Obito advocate for leaving a teammate behind?

"I should have listened to you. I should have completed the mission like you said. If I had just followed the rules!" Obito beat his chest.

Kakashi trembled. "Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash."

Obito looked startled, then confused. His face contorted into a painful caricature of his deceased teammate. "Obito doesn't abandon his teammates. I refuse to believe he would think Rin would be better off dead."

"You don't know what she's become! What she did! It spits in the face of your sacrifice every day!"

"In ANBU, if your mission objective demanded the life of a comrade, what would you do?"

"The objective. That's what you would do!"

Kakashi felt a heavy blow land; that was what he would have done before, but now? "I'd do both."

"Sometimes it's impossible!" Obito argued.

"Then I'll do the impossible." With that, Kakashi used the Body Flicker Technique to vanish from the scene. His eyes burned, and it wasn't from the smoke.

Chapter Text

Living with Rin was like living with a ghost. He rarely saw her, but when he returned home, he would find things moved around. Her unpleasant smell would linger in rooms she had visited. Worse still, she was depleting the money that Konoha had loaned him.

He needed to find a way to recoup the losses, both from his own spending and hers. Could he get a part-time job doing something? He had plenty of skills related to genin work. It wouldn't pay well, but his housing was currently covered. Still, he knew he shouldn't rely on that. If only Minato-sensei would see him; then he could request to join the jounin squad. He had no idea how long he would be here.

Did he even want to go back?

He still had a mission to complete. He wouldn't be punished if he stayed, but his team was here and they didn't seem to want him around. Of course, why would they? He was a poor imitation of their Kakashi, who had sacrificed himself for them and was not a known friend-killer. Perhaps they sensed that, and that's why everyone was avoiding him.

He should return to give them peace of mind.

Kakashi prepared a quick meal and left Rin's portion in the fridge. Sometimes she ate; sometimes she didn't. He could never tell if it was because she wasn't hungry or didn't like what he had made.

Kakashi headed toward the farms. They were always hiring genin, so they were likely short-staffed. He had done plenty of gardening and farm work when he was younger and had never minded it. Given that it was spring, there would be plenty of work for the coming months.

He greeted a group of workers knee-deep in a rice paddy, smiling so as not to alarm them. "Good morning, I'm looking for work."

"You'll want to talk to Nooka-san. I heard he's still hiring. He just inherited the farm from his grandfather, so he's behind on planting and hiring."

"Thank you."

"By the way, why would a jounin be looking for farm work?"

"Trying to get in touch with my roots," Kakashi smiled.

Nooka-san's farm showed signs of aging. Kakashi wondered if the grandson had been involved in running the farm before inheriting it. He approached a man behind a horse pulling a plow. His face was as red as his hair. "I'm looking for a job. I heard Nooka-san is hiring."

The man stopped and used a rag to wipe his face. "Yes, that's me. I'm Nooka Ninjin."

"Hatake Kakashi."

"A jounin?"

"Ah, no, I'm just borrowing the outfit," Kakashi smiled.

"Is that allowed?"

"Will you report me?"

"I suppose not. Have you ever farmed before?"

"Here and there. I've done small jobs. I have a strong back and don't mind long hours."

Nooka-san nodded. "I can't ask for anything more. I can pay you 5,000 Ryo a day."

It wasn't much, but it was more than Kakashi was currently making. He could make do until he could join the jounin squad. "I can take over plowing."

Nooka-san looked relieved. "Just take the rows to the end of the plot. I'll start planting."

Kakashi got behind the plow and coaxed the horse forward. It wasn't shinobi work, but it was more honest than what he had been doing. 

#

It had been years since he had done that kind of work. His shoulders ached, but it was a good kind of ache—productive without being destructive. It was nice to be reminded that he could still do this.

"Kakashi?"

Minato-sensei stood next to a stall that was closing for the night. He looked almost colorless against the backdrop of the setting sun.

Kakashi bowed. "Sensei."

Should he offer to help carry his bags? Should he initiate idle chatter? Minato-sensei looked uncomfortable; perhaps it would be better if Kakashi excused himself.

He licked his dry lips. "Rin is waiting for me."

"Rin? She's visiting you?"

"Yes."

"Be careful. She's unwell and has a tendency to steal," Minato warned him.

"I was taught to steal, too. I'm fairly certain you were the one who taught me."

Minato-sensei cringed. "That's not what I meant. She doesn't steal for a mission—"

"So, it being a mission makes it okay?"

"Kakashi." The tone of disappointment twisted Kakashi's gut.

"Sorry, Sensei."

The wind kicked up between them, as if to emphasize their emotional distance. Where had the anger even come from? Had he lost his mind, snapping at Sensei like that?

"Tomorrow, we should have a team dinner. Tell Rin. We'll plan for 6 p.m."

Tell Rin—easier said than done. "Yes, Sensei."

"It's good to see you again, Kakashi." Sensei smiled and headed in the direction of his home.

Kakashi wondered who he was lying to. The smile would have been more believable if Minato-sensei hadn't looked like a politician when he gave it.

#

"Sensei has ordered us to a team dinner tomorrow at 6 p.m."

Rin paused in her chewing of the rice and fish he had made to coax her out of her room. "Are you serious? Why now, all of a sudden?"

"We ran into each other at the market."

"I'm not going to that." Kakashi couldn't blame her; everyone had warned him to stay away from Rin.

"It was an order."

"Are you sure? Sensei wouldn't order people to have dinner with him." She poked at her fish.

"An invitation involves a request; this did not."

"Ugh, it's unfair that Sensei is Hokage, making ignoring him illegal."

Kakashi swirled his tea and watched the tiny leaves dance. "Why are you against this?"

"I don't want to see them."

Kakashi did. It had been so long since he had been to a team dinner. He should have cherished them when he was a chuunin. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

"When did you perfect the 'kicked dog' look?"

"What?"

"You didn't even know you were doing it! That makes it so much worse. Fine, I'll go, but you owe me this fish dish again." She jabbed her chopsticks toward his face.

"Alright, I'll make it again." As long as she would eat, he would make it several times over.

#

Kakashi wasn't known for his social prowess, but he at least knew that one shouldn't go to someone's home empty-handed. Most of his money was gone at this point, but he had some funds from the farm. Wanting to save as much as possible, he decided to buy some fruit in the spirit of frugality. He tucked the rest of the money away on his person.

"I'm pretty sure ramen would have gone over better than fruit," Rin observed, examining the small collection.

He should have thought of that. Of course, ramen would have been a better choice!

Gift-giving should always focus on what the recipient would like, not necessarily what they may need or what is practical.

"It's too late now." Hopefully, they wouldn't laugh at his mistake. He knocked on the door, which was then yanked open by Kushina-san.

Kushina-san smiled exuberantly at them. "Come in! We've been waiting for you. Look, Obito is already here. I told you he grew up."

Past Kushina, Obito raised his hand in greeting. He looked as unsure as Kakashi felt.

"We brought you some fruit," Rin said, holding out the small basket.

"You didn't have to do that!" Kushina took the basket and disappeared into the kitchen. Kakashi and Rin removed their shoes and headed toward where Obito was sitting with a cup of tea.

In the kitchen, they could hear Sensei's muffled voice. If he strained, he could probably make out what was being said, but he wanted to give the couple some privacy.

"Obi-nii!" Naruto squealed.

"Hey, mini ninja!" Obito scooped Naruto up and grinned at him. Naruto looked like a chubby and happy baby, completely unlike the Naruto from Kakashi's world. Naruto babbled and Obito pretended to carry on a conversation with him. One would almost think they were actually talking if Naruto's sounds weren't nonsense.

Rin reached out to touch Naruto's hair, but Obito pulled him away. "Don't touch him. You know the rules. Not until you're clean."

Rin's face turned red. "I'm not going to contaminate him," she hissed.

"Those are the rules."

"You and your damn rules!"

"Language!" Kushina scolded them. "Not in front of Naruto." She took Naruto out of Obito's arms and retreated to the kitchen.

"See what you did," Obito pouted.

"That was your fault."

It was surreal to see Rin and Obito fight. Had he ever witnessed it before? If they were fighting, where did that leave him? Was he supposed to mediate, as Rin had once done?

He knew he had read books about mediation, but his mouth was too dry to speak. So he watched them bicker until Rin stood up, announcing she was going to the bathroom. She stomped past them, slamming the bathroom door.

Obito stuck out his bottom lip in an irritated pout. "What's your problem?"

“I’ve never seen you two fight,” Kakashi admitted.

“Really? Huh. Yeah, I guess that's because when we were little, I always fought with you. Sorry about that. I should have listened to you more,” Obito said, tracing a circle on the table.

Listened to him more? That was a terrible idea. “Why did you pick a fight with her? She wasn’t hurting him.”

Obito gave him a pitying look. “You don’t get it, Kakashi. She will. Just like she hurt all of us. She'll hurt you too.”

Minato came out with a large steaming pot and a smile on his face. “I hope you all are hungry. Kushina has been perfecting this recipe—eggplant ramen!”

Kakashi felt himself flush with pleasure that Sensei remembered he liked eggplant. In that moment, he felt he could forgive just about anything, simply knowing that Minato remembered a detail about him that most people didn’t know. He wouldn’t have blamed him if he had simply forgotten, but he hadn’t.

“Thank you, Sensei.”

Kushina sat Naruto in a high chair and offered him some cold noodles. “I never forgot how much you liked eggplant. I always thought it was strange, but you were a strange kid,” she smiled.

Oh.

Disappointment soured his stomach, and he looked to see if Rin was coming yet. The bathroom door remained firmly closed. A bowl of hot ramen was placed in front of him, topped with the promised eggplant, eggs, crunchy garlic, and spring onion.

“Eat up, Kashi-kun! I need to know if it’s to your liking!” Kushina smiled brightly at him.

“Itadakimasu,” he said but hesitated to eat anything. They were all staring at him. Irritation flashed through him. Was this why they wanted to serve ramen? Just to see him with his mask down? To see how much he resembled Sakumo? He clenched his fingers around the chopsticks, restraining himself from snapping them in half.

A heavy thud broke the mounting tension.

“Rin?” Kakashi stood to his feet.

Minato frowned. “How long has she been in there?”

“Too long to be just using the bathroom,” Obito glared.

Kushina picked up Naruto, and Minato approached the bathroom door with a stern look. "Did you take the medication out of the bathroom?"

"Of course I did, you know," Kushina replied.

Minato nodded and reached for the door, but it opened before he got there. Rin's eyes narrowed as she looked at each of them, even Kakashi, who had remained at the table.

"What were you doing in there?" Obito demanded.

"Does it matter? You've already made up your mind," she said, pushing past Sensei and Obito. She went to the front door and slipped on her sandals.

"It's your fault we have to assume these things!" Rin glared.

"Don't order me to come again," she said.

"I didn't," Minato-Sensei responded, frowning.

Rin slammed the door on her way out, silencing the room. Kakashi slowly sank back down into his chair. 

Kakashi's eyes shifted from the closed door to the faces around the room. The air felt stifling, like a humid day in July when the heat feels like a shroud you can't shake off.

"You should go after her," Minato said softly, pulling Kakashi from his internal monologue.

"Me?" Kakashi's brows furrowed, momentarily forgetting that his mask concealed his expression.

"You're the neutral party here, aren't you?" Obito scoffed, irritation visible in the curl of his lips.

Kakashi stood, his movements somewhat mechanical, as he made his way to the door. He slipped on his shoes, grabbed his jounin vest, and stepped outside, allowing the door to close behind him with a soft click. The air outside was cooler, a relief from the tension within.

Rin was already halfway down the street, her steps brisk. "Rin," he called, hoping his voice would carry. She paused but didn't turn around.

When he finally caught up to her, her posture was rigid, like a shinobi readying for a fight she wasn't sure she could win.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, choosing his words carefully. Directness had often worked best between them, even when it was painful.

She finally turned to face him, her eyes searching his masked face as though looking for some hint of his thoughts. "Do I want to talk about what? About how everyone assumes the worst about me?"

"No one thinks—" he began, but she cut him off.

"Don't lie, Kakashi. It's written all over their faces. All over yours."

That stung more than he wanted to admit. "It's complicated," he conceded.

"So simplify it," she retorted.

He paused, formulating his words. "Everyone's on edge, Rin. The past has left scars that haven't fully healed."

She looked away. "That's just poetic enough to be annoying."

"But it's true," he insisted. "You can't deny that the tension in that room was about more than just today."

Rin sighed, her shoulders drooping as if she had been holding a weight for too long. "So what now? What's your grand solution, oh wise Kakashi?"

His mouth felt dry again, devoid of the right words. "I don't have one. I don't think any of us do. But running away isn't going to solve anything either."

For a moment, she looked like she might argue, her lips parting to form a rebuttal. But then she closed her mouth and nodded. "Alright, let's go back."

As they walked back in uncomfortable silence, Kakashi couldn't help but feel a tiny victory. Not because he had convinced her to return, but because for the first time in a long while, it felt like they were both fighting for the same thing—even if they didn't quite know what that thing was.

When they stepped back into the house, the tension seemed to have thickened, filling every corner like fog.

"We're back," Rin announced, as if declaring a ceasefire.

Kushina was the first to respond. "I'll heat up the ramen again."

As they settled back into their seats, Kakashi glanced at the untouched bowl in front of him. The eggplant still floated atop the broth, a reminder of something almost lost.

"Let's eat," Minato said, breaking the silence.

Kakashi lowered his mask just enough, picked up his chopsticks, and for the first time that evening, felt a sincere appetite.

"Let's," he echoed, hoping the simple word carried the weight of new beginnings.

The room was still far from perfect; the future uncertain. But as Kakashi took that first bite, the taste of eggplant mixing with the complex flavors of the broth, he thought that maybe, just maybe, they were taking the first step toward something that resembled healing.

And in that sliver of hope, Kakashi found his comfort.

Chapter Text

It had been a few days since the team dinner. Kakashi still had mixed emotions about the thought of it. He hadn’t seen much of Rin since then either. It was possible she was avoiding him. Maybe she didn’t have the same view about the dinner as he had.

Kakashi sat on the edge of his bed, his gaze fixed on the small wooden box he had retrieved from a hidden compartment under his mattress. It was an unremarkable box, one that could be easily overlooked—exactly what made it perfect for storing the money he was saving to repay Konoha. He had counted the money three times, and the sum was definitely less than what he had saved.

Rin had been the only one in his apartment lately, and the signs pointed unmistakably to her.

He sighed, feeling the weight of the revelation sink in. What made the situation complicated wasn't just the act of theft, it was who had committed it—Rin, the same person who had healed countless wounds on the battlefield, who had been an anchor for him and Obito.

His gaze shifted to a stack of books on the corner of his desk. Among them was a manual on investigation and trust-building exercises. Yet, no written wisdom could offer a straightforward answer to the knot he was facing.

Kakashi closed his eyes, reflecting on his own internal battles. He was a man of few relationships, but those he maintained carried weight. He pondered over the choices—confront Rin and demand an explanation or let it slide and act as if nothing happened.

Each option came with its own set of reverberations. Confrontation could result in the fracture of a relationship already hanging by a thread, while silence could create a space for more transgressions.

Rin had shown signs of internal struggle lately, he realized. Could her recent actions be a manifestation of a deeper issue? The past had already proven that unspoken problems could escalate into life-changing crises.

He remembered the tension in her eyes when she had left Minato's house, her voice laced with a bitterness that he had rarely heard from her. The way she held herself distant, ready for a fight or a flight.

"Damn it," he muttered.

There was a third option, he realized—one that sat between confrontation and avoidance, threaded with the trust and understanding that had been the foundation of their friendship before she died. He could try to address the situation without outright accusing her, thereby offering her an opportunity to open up.

His eyes drifted back to the wooden box. The money was a concern, yes, but what was of paramount importance was the relationship that had weathered countless battles—literal and metaphorical. If that relationship was now tainted, he needed to understand why.

Kakashi reached for his mask, adjusting it before grabbing his jounin vest. He pocketed the small wooden box and stepped out into the evening air, a mixture of resolve and uncertainty leading him to track down Rin.

As he made his way through the maze of Konoha's streets, each step felt like a move on a shogi board, calculated yet fraught with unpredictability. But he knew he had to make this play. The game, after all, was far from over, and much depended on his next move.

#

Kakashi arrived at a nondescript house tucked in one of Konoha's more residential areas. The muffled sounds of laughter and music leaked through the walls, indicating that the place was anything but nondescript on the inside. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door, which was slightly ajar, and stepped into a realm completely at odds with the world he knew.

The air was thick with the haze of cigarette smoke and other substances, and his senses were immediately bombarded by a melange of smells, sights, and sounds that seemed designed to disorient. Bodies swayed and voices laughed, punctuated by the occasional shout or glass breaking.

Kakashi made his way through the crowd, his eyes scanning the room for Rin. His gut was twisted in a knot, the mingling odors amplifying a sense of foreboding.

Finally, he saw her.

Rin was seated on a worn-out couch, surrounded by people he didn't recognize. Her eyes looked glazed over, and her movements seemed strangely lethargic. An empty vial lay on the table in front of her, along with a short pipe. His heart sank.

"Rin," he said, his voice more subdued than he intended. He pulled down his mask, hoping the gesture would underscore his concern. "We need to talk."

She looked up, her eyes taking a moment to focus on him. "Kakashi? What are you doing here? Come to keep tabs on me like everyone else?"

Her voice was tinged with a bitterness that he had never heard from her before. It stung, but he couldn't afford to back away now.

"I'm not here to spy on you. I came because I'm concerned."

"Concerned? Or suspicious?" She scoffed, avoiding his gaze.

"Rin, you're clearly on something." Kakashi tried to keep his voice steady, but the words came out tinged with desperation.

"I'm not on anything. You're the one who's always hiding behind masks and smokescreens. Why don't you admit that you've never cared? That you've always hated me, like the rest of the team?"

Her words were a slap, and they left a mark. The room seemed to grow quieter, the surrounding chaos fading away into a dull backdrop.

"That's not true, Rin. If I hated you, I wouldn't be here. But I need to know why you're doing this, why you're pushing everyone who cares about you away." Kakashi's voice strained with earnestness.

Rin stared at him for a moment, as if debating whether to say something. Then her eyes narrowed, and she laughed—a hollow sound that echoed in the cramped room.

"Why? Why not? Maybe it's the only way to feel something in this pathetic life."

Kakashi looked at her, his eyes searching for the Rin he knew—the Rin that had been a pillar of strength, the Rin that had risked everything for her friends.

"This isn't you, Rin. Whatever you're going through, this isn't the way to handle it. You don't have to face it alone."

She looked at him then, and for a moment, he thought he saw a flicker of the old Rin—a glint of vulnerability in her eyes.

But then she looked away, her expression hardening once again.

"I've always been alone, Kakashi. You just never noticed."

And with that, she stood up, stumbling slightly as she pushed past him and made her way out of the room, leaving him standing alone amidst a crowd of faceless strangers.

Kakashi felt a deep, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, as if he had just lost something incredibly precious, something that he hadn't even realized he had been hanging onto. He stood there for a few seconds, grappling with a harsh reality that was still settling in.

Then, with a heavy heart, he slipped through the door, and stepped out into the night, his mind a whirl of thoughts and emotions that offered no easy answers. She hadn’t been alone. She had Minato-sensei, Obito, Kushina, and to a lesser extent himself. They had grown close after Obito died. He had listened as she talked for hours and other times they had sat in silence with one another. She had not been alone. 

Or had she?

During their time as a team he didn’t recall seeing her with the other girls in the village. Minato-sensei hadn’t really known what to do with a medic despite how useful they are on a team. She and Obito had been joined at the hip it seemed. He remembered them laughing with one another during their missions. Obito had other obligations with his family that took up much of his time and before Obito died Kakashi hadn’t offered to even spar with her.

In this life Kakashi had never made the effort to befriend her. 

Pivoting on his heel, he hastily navigated through the crowd and burst out of the house, inhaling the humid night air as if it were a lifeline after the stifling haze inside. Rin was no where to be seen. How could someone so out of it gotten out of there so fast? His nose set to work trying to locate Rin. 

For so long, he had leaned on the memories of their friendship, yet those were connections she didn't share with him. Could she perceive this as nothing more than pity? How could he mend what was broken? He came to a halt on a shadowy, empty street. How could he repair a team that seemed uninterested in being fixed? They had a past that had unfolded without him, just as his had unfolded without them. He was a man unsure how to mend his own cracks, let alone those in the team that now felt like an intricate puzzle with missing pieces.

He stood alone in the dimly lit street, shrouded in silence save for the distant echoes of nocturnal life. This silence gave him room to think, but what he found in those thoughts unsettled him.

He had always prided himself on being perceptive, able to read a battlefield or an opponent's next move. But Rin had been a blind spot, a piece of the puzzle that never quite fit into his calculated worldview. Now, forced to confront the reality, he wondered how much of Rin's isolation had been his own doing—or at least, his own failing to prevent.

Kakashi's nose twitched, still searching for Rin's scent, but it was diluted by the complex aroma of the night—earth, rain, and the remnants of human activity. She had vanished, as elusive as the answers to the questions now plaguing him.

He felt like a stranger in a team that was supposed to be as close as family. The others had built relationships, made connections in ways that he had deliberately avoided. And yet, he found himself questioning whether those relationships were any more genuine than his own efforts.

The idea that each of them had separate lives, separate woes, separate joys—it suddenly struck him as a critical oversight. They had all moved in their orbits, occasionally aligning but never quite colliding, never fusing into something greater than the sum of their parts.

How does one fix something that might have been fractured from the start? How does one go about mending the very fabric of a team that had been woven with frayed threads?

A soft wind breezed through the trees, their leaves rustling like whispered secrets. Kakashi tugged on his mask at the bridge of his nose, obscuring the lower half of his face but not the raw emotions that momentarily flickered in his eyes. He didn't know how to fix himself, and the very concept of 'team' felt like a puzzle with missing pieces.

He realized he didn't even know where to begin looking for her. The village was a sprawling maze at this hour, filled with countless places where a soul wishing to escape could hide. And wasn't that what Rin was doing? Hiding from them, from herself, perhaps even from the very reality they were all trapped in?

With a sigh hidden behind his mask, Kakashi made his decision. Tonight wasn't the night for answers, and forcing them would likely only lead to more heartache. Tonight, he needed space to think, to reassess.

Turning away from the path that led back to the house, Kakashi began the solitary trek back to his apartment. Each step seemed to echo the distance he felt from his team, from Rin, and even from himself.

But maybe, he thought, the first step in solving a problem is recognizing there is one. And if he were the only one willing to try, then he'd carry that burden, as heavy as it might be. Even if she had been sprinting away from her problems, it was high time someone ran after her, and this time he wouldn't let his blind spots dictate his path.

For the team, for Rin, but also for himself, he would start looking for the missing pieces. Only then could they begin to piece together what had been broken. It was a long road ahead, but as he began to walk, he felt a newfound determination settling in.

If they were all fractured souls, then maybe, just maybe, they could find a way to heal together. And for the first time in what felt like ages, Kakashi dared to hope.

#

He was close to the apartment when he picked up her scent again. Relief flooded his heart, at least he knew where she was now. He quietly pushed the door open and darkness welcomed him. If he couldn’t smell her he wouldn’t have known she was home. He slipped his shoes off and placed them neatly by the door. In her stupor she must have forgotten to remove her own shoes. 

The earth tilted as alarm ghosted over his skin. Sakumo. 

The air felt thick, almost suffocating, as if holding its breath along with him. He turned and found the door to Rin's room loomed ahead, shrouded in darkness that seemed to swallow the faint light coming from the hallway. A sense of foreboding settled deep in his gut, urging him to turn back, but he quashed it ruthlessly. 

He turned the knob but it resisted and fear struck his heart. What if he was too late? “Rin?” He pounded on the door. “Rin!” He could smell the copper in the air. Blood seeped into the mats from under the door, creating a dark stain that would never come out. 

“Go away.” 

“Rin!” he yanked on the door again, but his hand was sleek with blood and slipped off. 

“What Kakashi?”

“Open the door!” He didn’t give her a chance to respond as threw his shoulder into the door splintering it.

“Kakashi what the hell?!” Rin screamed sitting up from her futon. Her eyes were wide and spooked but in them he saw his own reflection, covered in blood.

He turned and dashed off towards the kitchen and slammed the faucet open. His heart pounded in his chest, adrenaline still coursing through his veins as he scrubbed furiously at his hands. The faucet roared, a loud counterpoint to his racing thoughts. He watched the water darken with blood before swirling down the drain, but the stain seemed to have seeped into his very skin, refusing to leave him.

"What the hell is going on, Kakashi?" Rin's voice was shaky, tinged with anger and confusion as she appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

Kakashi turned off the faucet, finally looking up to meet her eyes. They were wide, questioning, and underneath it all, vulnerable. It was a mirror to his own disquiet, magnifying the moment's intensity.

“Kakashi?” She took a step forward and the sink bit into the small of his back. 

“Don’t look at me.” She would know he killed her. She would know what he had done. 

“How can I? You never take that mask off.” she gave him a lopsided smile. 

His mask? He reached up and felt the edge of it resting against the bridge of his nose. It was still in place. 

“Kakashi.” She held out her hand but he couldn’t reach back. He couldn’t touch her. The gesture fell back to her side unanswered. “I’m going back to bed.” 

Kakashi stood there for awhile longer before returning back to the faucet and scrubbing at his stained skin.

#

Kakashi woke up to the chirping of birds outside his window, a jarring contrast to the heaviness that settled in the room. He rubbed his eyes, put on his mask, and reluctantly made his way to the kitchen. The door to Rin's room hung at a crooked angle, splinters of wood still scattered across the floor from last night's hasty entry.

Rin finally emerged from her room, looking disheveled. Her eyes darted to the broken door then to Kakashi, and for a moment, no one spoke. She went straight to the kettle and began filling it with water.

"About the door," Kakashi finally broke the silence, "I’ll get what I need to fix it."

Rin shrugged as she spooned tea leaves into the filter. "It's just a door. Things break. People break. That's life."

He clenched his fists, the weight of last night's events, mixed with the bitter truth that she had been siphoning money, bearing down on him. "I know things are complicated right now, but we need to—"

"Complicated? You break down my door and now you're talking about complicated?" She slammed spoon onto the counter. The water gurgled to life, the sound almost as awkward as the silence.

"I had reason to be worried. You weren't yourself last night."

She gave him a sarcastic laugh. "Oh, you're worried? Since when did you start worrying about anything other than training?"

Kakashi sighed. The words stung, but they also cut through the fog of their unresolved issues. "If you needed money, you could have just asked me, Rin. There's no need to take it behind my back."

Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second before hardening again. "I didn't take your money. Believe what you want."

"Rin, please. I want to help. I want to fix this."

She looked at him, really looked at him, and he could see the barriers around her waver. But then, just as quickly, they were up again. "Some things, Kakashi, can't be fixed."

The kettle sputtered and Rin poured herself a cup, her hand slightly trembling. Without another word, she retreated back to her room, gently nudging the broken door as if it were made of glass.

Kakashi was left standing there, in a room filled with tension so thick, it could be cut with a knife. He looked at the kettle, then back at Rin's closed door. Slowly, he began to pick up the splinters of wood, each piece a sharp reminder of the fractures that had formed between them, fractures that he had no idea how to mend.

#

"My rival! Is this a new training regimen?" Gai bounded next to him, enthusiastic as a dog. Kakashi was carrying a door on his back to replace the one he had broken.

"Just fixing what I broke. At least there's something in my life I can put back together."

Gai's smile fell. "Is this about Rin?"

Kakashi wished Gai didn't read him so well. No one else could unmask him the way Gai did. He hefted the door further up his back and continued towards the apartment.

Gai fell into step beside him. "My team is going to be training at—"

Kakashi stopped and turned to Gai. "No, thank you, but no. I need to fix my own team, not run away to a different one."

Gai's brows furrowed, his expression conflicted. Kakashi sighed heavily; he hadn't meant to hurt him. "You'll always be my rival, but I need to help them. Somehow."

Gai's chin trembled, and he threw himself onto Kakashi. "You're a true shinobi! I'll train harder to be just like you!" He wiped his eyes. "I'll run 50 laps around the village before training today!"

Gai took off like an entire stampede of oxen. If only Kakashi could be so energetic.

"Wow, I didn't know you saw the oaf as a rival." Obito swung down from one of the roofs to land next to Kakashi. "What's with the door?"

"I'm replacing a door I broke."

"Why'd you break it?" Obito asked, following him.

"Why are you here?"

"What do you mean, why am I here? Didn't you just give a whole speech to Gai about fixing your team?" Obito squawked.

"I was worried about Rin, so I broke down her door."

Obito's eyebrows flew up. "That sounds a bit extreme."

"It wasn't my finest moment," Kakashi muttered. He was just glad Rin hadn't questioned him about his other behavior that night.

"Did she piss you off? What did she do? Steal stuff? Smoke in the house?"

Kakashi hesitated, considering his words. "I thought she had tried to kill herself."

"What?" Obito stopped and stared at him, wide-eyed.

Kakashi turned to face him. "She was strung out, and I thought I smelled blood. I'm glad I was wrong."

Obito gave a weak laugh. "Yeah, I don't see her ever going that far."

"What's stopping her?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me, Obito. What's there to stop her? She's alone, and she feels like she's always been alone."

"That's not my fault! If she weren't doing all that stupid stuff, she wouldn't have to be alone! We'd still be a team!" Obito's face turned red with anger, and steam seemed to come out of his nostrils like a bull.

"We weren't much of a team if she felt alone even then. What about you?" Kakashi turned the question around.

"What about me?" Obito snapped.

"Why did you leave the team?"

"I didn't. I just—" He hesitated, and the two started walking again. "I wanted to fix myself. Stop being such a screw-up. Stop being tardy to everything and causing people to die."

"I don't want to be a screw-up anymore either," Kakashi admitted.

"You're the best shinobi I know!" Obito argued.

"Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash," Kakashi recited.

"You've said that before," Obito kicked a stone. "Who are you quoting?"

"You."

There was a poignant moment, punctuated only by the sound of their footsteps. Awkwardness hung between them, stifling every attempt at conversation. Obito looked around as if wondering if there was a way to escape. But Kakashi had so much more he wanted to say if only Obito would stay, if only he could find the right words.

The apartment came into view, and Kakashi started up the stairs with the door, which was awkwardly large and ill-suited for the narrow staircase. Obito took the other end of the door, and the two worked together to get it inside.

"Damn, Kakashi, you really shredded that door."

Embarrassment crept up his neck, thankfully concealed from view. "I thought it was an emergency."

"Would she really do that?"

Kakashi leaned the door up against the wall where it was supposed to go and looked over at Obito. "I thought you were in ANBU."

"I am."

"Then you should know the signs. It's the leading cause of death on our teams." It wasn't something anybody talked about, and it wasn't supposed to be talked about. Obito knew that, if the look on his face was anything to go by. "Isolation, reliance on drugs or alcohol, taking extreme risks both in and outside of missions, being agitated, and burdened by guilt. What part of that doesn't describe Rin, or you for that matter?"

"Me?! I'm not suicidal!" Obito squawked.

Kakashi shrugged and started lining up the door.

"I'm not. I just want to live up to you. It should have been me who died that day."

Kakashi grabbed Obito by the collar and shoved him against the wall. "Don't you ever say that," he hissed. "Those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash! Don't you get it?"

Obito grasped his fists, his eyes wide. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, Kakashi."

Kakashi released him. "Help me hang this door, crybaby shinobi."

"Sure," Obito agreed, but his tone sounded hollow. Kakashi couldn't begin to guess why.

Chapter Text

Rin must have really liked her new door because she hadn't come out of it in over a week. At least his money wasn't going missing. Kakashi had noticed that the apartment was quieter than usual, even the air felt stagnant. The sound of flipping pages from his book couldn't mask the tangible silence that hung between them, like an unsaid conversation that they were both avoiding.

He pondered knocking on her door several times, but something always stopped him—fear, perhaps, of what he might find. Or maybe it was just the awkward tension that still hadn't dissipated since that night.

On the eighth day, the door finally opened. Rin stepped out, looking pale and somewhat fragile. Her eyes were not their usual vibrant self but seemed dulled, surrounded by dark circles.

"Morning," she muttered, avoiding eye contact as she moved towards the kitchen.

Kakashi looked up from his book, sensing something was amiss but not knowing exactly what. "Morning. You've been quiet. Everything alright?"

She paused, hand hovering over the tea jar. "I'm fine. Just needed some... alone time."

He closed his book and set it down on the table. "That's a lot of alone time. People might start thinking you're a hermit."

Rin chuckled weakly. "Maybe I am. Maybe solitude is underrated."

He watched as she took an unusually long time to make her coffee, her hands trembling slightly. Concern washed over him. "You don't look fine, Rin."

She sighed, finally meeting his eyes. "I'm dealing with some stuff, okay? Personal stuff. I'll be fine."

Kakashi felt like he was walking on a minefield. One wrong step, and everything could blow up. "If you ever want to talk about this 'personal stuff,' I can listen."

She looked at him for a long moment, as if contemplating whether to let him in or keep the door to her problems—and her room—firmly closed.

"Thanks, Kakashi," she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But some doors are meant to be closed, at least for now."

And with that, she picked up her tea and retreated back to her room, closing the new door quietly behind her. Kakashi was left in the kitchen, staring at the closed door, grappling with the realization that some doors, both literal and metaphorical, were much harder to open than others.

#

Laboring on the farm was more exhausting than Kakashi had ever expected it to be. He was pretty sure his hair wasn't even silver anymore, but brown from all the dirt. But the sun was setting, and he had more money in his pocket. Soon he'd be able to repay Konoha and start saving for a different apartment.

"Kakashi." Minato-sensei's voice stopped him.

Kakashi turned to see his former sensei standing there, an unfamiliar weariness in his eyes. The once effervescent man looked as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. It had been weeks since they last spoke.

"Sensei," Kakashi greeted, curt but respectful.

"How have you been?" Minato asked, but there was a hesitance in his voice, as if he was scared to hear the answer.

"Busy," Kakashi replied, brushing some dirt off his pants. "And you?"

"I've been... coping," Minato replied, his gaze drifting off into the distance.

There was a silence, heavy with words that neither could find the courage to say.

"How's Rin?" Minato finally broke the quiet, his eyes meeting Kakashi's.

Kakashi hesitated. "She's... struggling, but surviving."

Minato's eyes clouded over. "I haven't been a very good teacher, or friend, to either of you. I apologize for that, Kakashi."

Kakashi looked at him, his eyes sharp. "It's been hard on everyone, sensei. We're all dealing with things in our own ways."

Minato nodded, but there was unmistakable guilt in his eyes. "Seeing you, Kakashi, sometimes it reminds me of so much I've lost...and failed to protect. I know it's selfish to avoid you because of that, but—"

"I understand," Kakashi interrupted, his voice softer. "Grief has a way of making us do things we wouldn't normally do."

Minato looked at him, surprised by the maturity in his student's words. "You've grown up, Kakashi."

"Someone had to," Kakashi replied, his voice tinged with bitterness.

Minato sighed. "I need to be better, for all of us."

"Better is a relative term. I think just being there would be enough.” 

“You’re probably right. That wasn’t all I had to say for you though. I believe we have a way for you to go home, but Kakashi, I don’t want you to take it. I want you to stay. I want our team to be a family again.” 

#

Minato’s words hung heavy in Kakashi’s chest. The weight bearing down on his heart. Staying here, what would that mean? He would have his team again. He would have Gai and his team too. But what about his own Gai. What about his mission? 

Kakashi washed the dirt off from a long day’s labor. He wished his soul was as easy to clean. He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, searching for answers in his own mismatched eyes, but they gave nothing away. Kakashi left the bathroom and looked over at Rin’s door, still closed. 

“Rin?” He called out. 

He pressed his lips together, maybe she was asleep. He dropped down and pressed his back against her door letting the ends of his hair drip water onto his lap. “You must be asleep. Minato-sensei has a way to get me back, but he’s asked me to stay. I’m not sure I can do that.” He sighed deeply, his breath shaky. "I was talking to him today, and it's clear he's still grieving. Seeing me—someone who resembles his own student—makes it hard for him. I guess I make it hard for everyone. But I’m not him. I didn’t give up my life for you all. I survived and none of you did.” 

Kakashi paused, the silence heavy, almost as if he expected a response from the closed door. "You know, when I was in ROOT, it wasn't just missions and orders. I had people who looked up to me, relied on me. There was a point when I almost lost one of them, Serow. She nearly took her own life." His voice trembled at the memory. "She was under so much pressure, carrying too many burdens alone, and I had no idea. I was her captain, and yet I almost failed her. It was the same with my father. If I had been a better son, understood the pain he was facing maybe he wouldn’t have left for my sake.” 

“You were a child Kakashi.” Rin’s voice startled him. 

“I could have done better.  You've been cooped up in this room, and I haven't done anything about it. What kind of teammate does that make me?"

“I’m trying to get clean.” 

“What?” Kakashi straightened up. 

“I’ve been trying to get clean. Kakashi, you haven’t given up on me so I wanted to get clean for you. I wanted to show you I’m not a waste of time.” He could hear the tears in her voice. “But it’s so hard. I feel like my bones are breaking. I feel like dying sometimes, but then I hear you in the house and I remember you haven’t left me. Kakashi, please stay. I need you.” 

“I’ll stay.” he promised. 

#

Kakashi made his way to the Hokage tower, where the receptionist greeted him with a warm smile. "Ah, Hatake-san, the Hokage is expecting you. Please go in as soon as you're ready."

Acknowledging her with a nod, he swung the door open. Minato rose from his desk, grinning. "Kakashi! It's good to see you. I've been eager to show you what we've discovered as a way to send you back to your own time." Minato threw an arm around his shoulders. “I had to speak to the Sandaime about it and he suspected it might have to do with a token he has. Let’s go to the vault and I’ll show it to you. You can tell me if your recognize it.”

Kakashi's gaze sharpened, intrigued by the mention of the token. "Very well, let's go," he said, taking a moment to glance at the stacks of paper and mission reports on Minato's desk. Being Hokage clearly came with its own set of challenges.

Minato led him through a series of winding corridors deep within the tower, eventually stopping in front of a heavily sealed door. With a series of intricate hand seals, Minato unlocked it, and they stepped inside.

The vault was dimly lit but filled with various artifacts, scrolls, and other items of significant power or importance. Minato walked over to a table on which lay a small, ornate box. He carefully opened it to reveal a shimmering object that looked vaguely familiar to Kakashi. It was a talisman of some sort, its surface etched with complex sealing scripts.

"Do you recognize this?" Minato asked, watching Kakashi's reaction closely.

Kakashi stared at the object. It was the very box and crystal he had been sent with. "I can't say for certain."

Minato nodded. "Well, if the Sandaime's suspicions are correct, this could be your ticket back. But before we try anything, you’ll need to decide if you are going back or not. You could stay here, you know. Rebuild what was lost."

Kakashi felt his throat tighten. Here was a second chance, an offer to rewrite history, to save those he couldn't protect in his own timeline. But was it right? Could he abandon his original world, his original team?

He was brought back to reality by Minato's concerned look. "I need to think about it," Kakashi said softly, "It's not a decision to make lightly."

Minato nodded understandingly, "Of course, take the time you need. But remember, you're not alone. We're your family here, too."

The words landed heavy in Kakashi's heart. Family. A chance to be part of a family again, something he had lost long ago. With a nod of gratitude, he stepped out of the vault, Minato sealing it behind them.

As they made their way back to the main office, Minato put a reassuring hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "No matter what you decide, know that you have a home here."

Kakashi felt a swell of emotion but pushed it down. "Thank you, Minato-sensei," he said, the words tinged with a gravitas that transcended their usual student-teacher relationship.

As he left the tower, Kakashi realized the choice ahead was more complex than any mission he'd ever faced. Whether to go back or stay wasn't just about him; it was about the people he loved, the responsibilities he had, and the future his own future.

It was a lot to contemplate, and for once, Kakashi was thankful for the mask that hid his expression. It was an emotional shield, giving him a moment to breathe, to think, to decide what his next move would be. And for the first time in a long while, Kakashi felt the weight of uncertainty mingling with the freedom of choice.

#

"Welcome home, Kakashi!" Rin smiled as he stepped through the threshold.

His heart warmed at the greeting. When was the last time someone had said that to him? "I'm home." He peeled off his sandals.

Rin bounced away toward the kitchen. "I made dinner. We didn't have much, so it's mostly just rice and eggs."

"You seem to be feeling better."

"I'm trying. I've been looking for a job too. I thought about talking to sensei about joining the jounin squad." She scooped rice into two bowls, molding it to look like snow-covered hills.

"Do you want to be a shinobi?"

"I don't have much training in anything else," she shrugged.

"You wanted to be a medic to help people."

"Well, I can't go back to that, can I?" She snapped. Releasing a heavy breath, she grabbed a couple of rolled omelets and placed them on a plate. "Sorry, I meant that's not an option for me anymore."

He just couldn't see Rin going out into the field to hurt people. It just didn't seem like her. He wondered if it would only hurt her more. "I think," he hesitated, uncertain if he should give advice. But he had her full attention, and she was expecting him to say something. "Maybe you could try being a baker?"

"What?"

"Baking helps people?"

"Is that a question? How does baking help people?"

"When Kurenai is upset, she goes to the bakery and gets a sweet."

A bubble of laughter erupted from Rin's lips. "Oh my God, you are so cute! That's true, though. I guess bakeries do help people. Maybe I'll look into that."

Kakashi nodded, feeling satisfied with her answer. It would be better than seeing her on the battlefield.

"Speaking of work, what have you been doing for a job? I haven't seen you pack for any missions."

He took the plates of rolled omelets and set them on the table before taking his seat. "I've been working on a farm."

"You? Kakashi Hatake, the shinobi genius of our generation, a humble farmer?"

"More like a hired hand," he said, trying desperately not to blush.

"I just can't see it," she laughed.

"Dirt is easier to wash off than blood." Her laughter suddenly died, and Kakashi wondered if he had said it too harshly.

"I can understand that. When I was a field medic, I was often covered in blood. Because we didn't finish the mission of blowing up the bridge, the war was extended for several more years. Our team was disbanded, and I joined the medic corps full time. So many genin were sent out on the front lines, and often nothing I could do would save them. I would be elbows-deep in someone's chest, and I wasn't enough to keep them from death's door. That war took more than just lives from us." She drew circles on the table. 

"How did that lead to stealing medication from the hospital?"

"You know about that?" She rubbed her forehead, "medics often have to work long hours. Sometimes he would take things to boost our energy and concentration. But it can leave us jittery and unable to sleep. I got to a chuunin who was in critical condition. I went to give him morphine but then I realized he was dead. But I had the morphine prepared and well, he didn't need it. I was so tired, Kakashi. I just wanted to sleep and not see their faces." She covered her face with her hands but she kept talking. "So many were dying, and it was because we didn't finish the mission. Because I insisted we find Sensei instead."

She removed her hands and wiped her eyes, "I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. I just wanted to stop feeling." 

Rin's gaze met his, and for a moment, they shared an unspoken understanding—a kindred spirit of sorts that came from years of exposure to the harsh realities of their world. Then she shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts, and her usual smile returned.

"But you know," she changed the subject, picking up her chopsticks, "dirt also signifies growth and life. Maybe it's not such a bad thing for you to be around that for a while."

He considered her words, letting them sink in. Maybe she was right; perhaps the farm, the dirt, represented something he had been missing for a long time—life, simple and unmarred by the complexities of their shinobi world.

"Maybe," he agreed, picking up his own chopsticks.

They began to eat, and though they both had more to say, more to unpack, for now, they let the simple act of sharing a meal fill the space between them. For Kakashi, that space felt less like a void and more like a bridge—a connection he had almost forgotten could exist.

As they finished, he couldn't help but feel grateful for this moment, this reminder that even after all the battles, all the bloodshed, there was still room for something as simple and nourishing as dinner, as friendship, as life. And maybe, just maybe, it was these simple things that made the struggle worth it.

#

Rin and Kakashi were in the living room reading when an unfamiliar knock interrupted them. Kakashi rose to answer the door while Rin moved to catch a glimpse of who it was. Minato-sensei smiled.

"Good evening, Kakashi-kun," he greeted.

"Sensei," Kakashi replied, stepping aside to invite him in.

"Rin, it's good to see you."

Rin swallowed thickly and bowed. "I'm sorry for my behavior at your home the last time we saw each other."

Minato waved off the apology. "You did nothing wrong. I should apologize. I'm sorry for making you so uncomfortable. Please forgive me." Sensei bowed to his student.

Rin's lip trembled, and she quickly turned around. "I'll go make some tea."

Kakashi invited Minato into the living room, and they sat around the kotatsu. "I told you that you would need room to host friends," Minato said, grinning impishly.

Kakashi nodded. "It seems I was wrong in that regard."

"I wanted to invite you to test for the jounin squad. It'll be next week."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly, meeting Minato's hopeful gaze. "The jounin squad, Sensei?"

"Yes," Minato leaned forward, his eyes earnest. "I think you're more than ready, Kakashi. And it will be a good opportunity for you."

Kakashi paused, weighing the offer. He thought about his own time, his own world, where he was already far past the rank of jounin. But here, it seemed like a new beginning, or perhaps a reversion to a path not taken.

"I've been working on a farm lately. I rather like it."

"Farmer Kakashi?" Minato asked, laughter in his voice.

Kakashi could only shrug, unsure how to defend himself.

Rin placed the tray of tea on the table. "He hired himself out as a scarecrow. But his boss is concerned he's scaring off more than just crows."

Laughter bloomed for the first time in both his home and his heart. This was what he wanted. He wasn't a friend-killer here; he was just Kakashi.

#

The question of whether to stay or go loomed over his head. It shouldn't have been such a complicated question to answer. Kakashi stood on the rooftop, overlooking a village that was simultaneously familiar and foreign. The setting sun cast long shadows that seemed to stretch toward him, as if trying to pull him completely into this world. He could almost hear the voices of the people who had come to matter to him in this timeline—Rin's laughter, Minato's wisdom, Obito's challenges, even the friendly rivalry of this world's Gai.

In this world, he had found a haven—a respite from the relentless march of responsibilities and expectations that awaited him in his own time. Here, he was seen not merely as the Copy Ninja or the friend-killer, but as Kakashi, a man with fears and hopes. Despite that allure, a gnawing sensation ate away at him, a palpable dissonance reminding him that this was not where he belonged.

He thought about the Kakashi of this world, someone who had sacrificed his life for his team, leaving a legacy that he felt he could never live up to. Even if he stayed, even if he gave it his all, he would always be a shadow, an echo of the man who had come before him.

How could he look Rin in the eye, knowing that he had once driven his hand through her chest and crushed her heart? How could he stand beside Minato, knowing he hadn't been there when it had mattered most? And how could he, in good conscience, exist here while his own world moved forward—without him?

As much as it hurt to admit, staying here would be the ultimate act of selfishness, betraying both the memory of the Kakashi of this world and the people who loved him. With a deep breath, Kakashi turned away from the setting sun and walked back toward the village. His steps were heavy but resolute; his heart aching, yet clear.

He would go back to where he belonged, because the burden of being who he truly was proved lighter than the weight of being someone he could never be.

#

Kakashi hesitated outside Minato's office, gathering his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he rapped lightly on the door.

"Enter," Minato's voice called from within.

Pushing the door open, Kakashi stepped into the room. Minato looked up from his paperwork, a gentle smile spreading across his face. "Kakashi! What brings you here?"

Kakashi hesitated for a moment, struggling to find the right words. "Minato-sensei, I've made a decision."

Minato's eyebrows furrowed, sensing the seriousness of the moment. "What's on your mind?"

"I've decided to return to my own world," Kakashi said, his voice unwavering.

Minato's eyes widened in surprise. "Are you sure? You've built a life here."

Kakashi nodded. "It's true, but I don't belong here. The Kakashi of this world had his own journey, his own legacy. I can't replace him. I can't keep living in his shadow."

Minato leaned forward, concern evident in his eyes. "Kakashi, you don't have to replace anyone. We value you for who you are. Think about Rin, the team, and everyone here who's come to care about you."

"I have," Kakashi admitted, "and that makes this all the more difficult. But I have a responsibility to my own world, a duty to those I left behind."

Minato sighed heavily. "I had hoped you might choose to stay. You've brought a lot to our team and to this village."

A heavy silence hung between them. After a moment, Kakashi said, "Before I leave, I was hoping we could have one last team dinner. As a way to say goodbye."

Minato's eyes softened. "Of course. It's the least we can do. When?"

"Tomorrow evening?" Kakashi suggested.

Minato nodded, standing up from his desk. "Then it's settled. We'll give you a send-off you won't forget."

Kakashi smiled, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and gratitude. "Thank you, sensei."

As he left Minato's office, Kakashi felt the weight of his decision heavy on his shoulders. But he also felt the warmth of the bond he had formed with the people of this world. He would carry that warmth with him, wherever he went.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

"What do you mean you're leaving?!" Obito slammed his hands on the table and propelled himself to his feet. "You can't be serious! Sensei!"

Minato responded with a helpless smile.

"You can't leave! What's even the point of leaving? 'Those who abandon their friends are worse than trash,' isn't that what you say? You're such a hypocrite!"

The stinging rebuke settled like electricity in the air before a storm. They were sitting around the table with tea; dinner was still on the stove, but it was Obito who was boiling over.

"Obito, I have a mission to complete, and I can't do that here," Kakashi said, his voice firm. However, a brief but telling flicker of hurt flashed through his eyes. "It's not a matter of abandoning anyone. I have responsibilities in my own world, just as I have responsibilities here."

"So what? You're just going to walk away from us?" Rin suddenly spoke, her voice trembling with anger and disbelief. "Again?"

Kakashi looked at her, his eyes widening slightly at the ferocity of her emotion. "Rin—"

"No," she cut him off, standing up abruptly. "Don't you 'Rin' me. You have no idea what it's like to be left behind, wondering if you'll ever see the people you care about again."

"I do know, Rin. I know all too well," Kakashi's voice was low, tinged with an unspoken sadness that none of them could truly understand. "But this isn't the same. I'm not walking away; I'm fulfilling my duty."

"Your duty is here, with your friends, with your team!" Obito almost shouted, his emotions bubbling over. "If you leave, you're just proving that you're still that cold-hearted, selfish kid we first met!"

"Enough, Obito," Minato's voice was calm but carried a weight that demanded respect. "It's Kakashi's choice to make."

Obito stared hard at his sensei, then at Kakashi, his eyes burning with a mixture of anger and hurt. Without another word, he stormed out of the room.

Rin looked at Kakashi, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I can't believe you're doing this to us. To me."

"Rin, it's not about hurting anyone," Kakashi tried to explain, his voice thick with regret. "I don't belong here. This world has its own Kakashi, one who made different choices, one who is the person you all deserve."

"You're wrong," Rin's voice broke as she spoke. "The person we deserve is the one who stays."

Without waiting for a reply, Rin turned and walked out of the room, leaving Kakashi alone with Minato.

Minato sighed, looking at his remaining student. "I'm sorry, Kakashi. I understand why you have to go, but they have their reasons too."

Kakashi nodded, his eyes haunted. "I know, Sensei. And that's what makes this the hardest decision I've ever had to make."

Minato stood up and walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Remember, wherever you go, whatever you decide, you'll always have a home here."

Kakashi looked up, meeting his sensei's eyes, finding bittersweet comfort there. "Thank you, Sensei. That means more than you know."

As Minato left, Kakashi sat back down at the empty table, staring at the untouched tea, feeling as if he were already a ghost in a world he would soon leave behind.

Kushina slipped into the seat next to him. "You must be missing your own team."

"I don't have a team," Kakashi said.

Confusion marred Kushina's face. "Then why?"

"My entire team died because of my choices. I can't stay here and risk that happening again," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi—" Kushina placed her hand over his, but he pulled away.

"You don't understand. I can't risk it. In my world, Naruto is an orphan. I don't want to cause that here."

"But look at all you've done. You've brought the team back together," Kushina argued.

Kakashi shook his head. "Which is why I can't stay. I want to know that I've done something good in life."

"Kakashi!" Kushina called out, but Kakashi was already out the door. He had to leave, for their sake.

#

Kakashi searched for Rin and Obito, but the night was lively, and they could be anywhere. He didn't know them well enough to guess where they might have gone. Even his memories of them were of no use; both had aged and experienced years without him. They were different people. They weren't actually his team, just as he wasn't their Kakashi.

"Hey! Kakashi!" He turned to see Genma rushing toward him. Slinging an arm around Kakashi's shoulders, Genma began poking him in the chest. "You look like you could use a drink. Come on."

Without waiting for Kakashi's response, Genma guided him through the bustling streets, expertly maneuvering around villagers enjoying the night. Eventually, they arrived at a lively bar, its windows glowing warmly, and the sounds of laughter and chatter spilling through the entrance.

As they settled onto stools and ordered a bottle of sake, Genma looked at him curiously. "You seem... distant. What's going on?"

Kakashi took a sip of his sake before answering, savoring the warmth as it slid down his throat. "I'll be leaving soon."

"Leaving? As in, leaving Konoha?" Genma looked both surprised and concerned.

"Yes."

"Wow, that's... How do you think Gai will take it?" Genma stared into his own cup, the previously jovial atmosphere suddenly growing heavy.

Kakashi sighed. "Gai has his own life, his own friends. He'll be fine. Besides, it's not my place to dictate how he should feel."

"That's easy for you to say, but Gai considers you his ultimate rival. Your leaving would be like taking away a part of him."

Kakashi pondered Genma's words for a moment. "I understand that, and it makes this decision even harder. But I have responsibilities elsewhere, a life I need to return to."

"Another life? Like a secret identity?" Genma chuckled, although his eyes remained serious.

"In a way, yes. I'd like to stay, I don't belong here. I've been interfering in a place, a time, that isn't truly mine."

Genma took a long sip of his sake, allowing the words to sink in. "You always were complicated, Kakashi. But if you feel that's what you need to do, then who am I to stop you? Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Say goodbye to Gai properly. And the rest of us too."

Kakashi nodded, feeling the weight of his decision even more keenly. "I will. Thank you, Genma."

They clinked their cups together, the echo underscoring the gravity of the moment amidst an otherwise lively atmosphere. And for a brief instant, amid the chatter and laughter surrounding them, both men were silent, lost in their own thoughts, pondering what would come next.

#

Kakashi wandered the now-quiet streets. He had stayed at the bar even after Genma left, stewing in his own thoughts. The last call had pushed him out, but he wasn't eager to go home. He found himself taking a familiar route, one he followed both in waking life and in dreams. A tall pillar of stone stood before him, names etched into it. Each one represented a life snuffed out too soon, another stone added to his metaphorical pack. It didn't matter whether he knew them or not; they were part of his village, and he would not forget their sacrifices.

However, the stone before him was a counterfeit that shattered the dreamlike state he had been walking in. Obito, Rin, Minato, and Kushina— their names were missing. In their place was "Hatake, Kakashi." He had fantasized about this very thing, but seeing it churned his stomach. That was his name, and it had no right to mar the stone of martyrs.

The ghost stood before his own memorial and cursed it.

Grief propelled his steps away, and the crickets seemed to mock his angry tears. He had killed his own team, and yet his heart wanted to claim this one as well. He could only destroy them, too.

His apartment came into view, and two dark figures stood up. He had no will to fight them and could only hope they might assist him in his penance.

"Kakashi, whoa," Obito said, grabbing him by the shoulders and holding him up. "How much did you drink?"

"Let's get him inside and hydrated," Rin said, pulling one of his arms over her shoulder.

"I'm not drunk," Kakashi insisted.

"And I'm not an Uchiha," Obito scoffed.

"Never thought you made a good one, so I wouldn't be surprised," Kakashi retorted.

Obito squawked, but the trio made it up the stairs and into the apartment. They dropped him onto the couch, and Rin headed off to the kitchen.

"We waited for you for hours," Obito grumbled. "I have things to do in the morning."

"You didn’t have to wait. Why are you here anyway?" Kakashi accepted a glass of water from Rin.

"To stop you from leaving," Rin stated firmly. "It's an intervention."

"Aren't interventions for people who abuse substances? I don't believe I was the substance abuser of the group."

Rin's cheeks flushed. "That's not— an intervention is for someone making a mistake who needs to be stopped."

"I'm going home," Kakashi said.

"This is your home!" Rin shouted. "Kakashi, please. I got clean for you. I spent the last week detoxing. I'm looking for a job. The team is coming together. You can't leave."

"Rin," Obito murmured, looking at her wide-eyed.

"But that's just it. You shouldn't get clean because of me; you should do it because it's the right thing for you. The team needs to come together because you're a family and you need each other. Don't be like me," he looked at Obito. "I'm alone. I'm a friend-killer."

"What are you talking about?" Obito asked, grasping the fabric of his pants.

"You died," Kakashi's voice croaked. "You died saving me. I was stupid and arrogant. Rin was captured, and I wanted to leave her. I wanted to complete our mission, but you told me— you told me that those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash. So we went back. We went back, and you died protecting me from a falling rock. After that, Rin, God, Obito, I couldn't save her."

"Kakashi, what happened?" Obito asked, clearly bewildered.

A hand rested on his shoulder, and it felt like a boulder. "She had the Sanbi inside her. She was a faulty Jinchuriki sent back to Konoha as a ticking time bomb. I wanted to get Sensei; he could have saved her. But she— I tried to stop her."

Rin scooted closer to him, her knees touching his. "What did I do?"

"You jumped in front of my Chidori. I couldn't deviate in time. I killed you. Then Sensei and Kushina lost their lives when Naruto was born. I was supposed to be on Kushina's protection squad, but I got reassigned that night. I was helping people evacuate when the Nine-Tails escaped. I should have been there to protect them. That was my job as their last student, but I allowed myself to be reassigned."

Rin's arms encircled his bowed head, and he could feel her trembling against him. "Oh Kakashi, why didn't you tell us? All this time, you were holding in that pain."

"I killed you."

"I'm right here." Her grip tightened. "I'm right here."

And she was there, except she wasn't. His Rin was gone; her name etched on the memorial stone.

"We can be a team again. All of us," Obito said, rubbing Kakashi's back. "We're all together again."

"I'm not him. I killed my team, but he saved his."

"But you did save us. Obito and I are in the same room. We spent hours waiting for you, and we didn't kill each other. You saved us," Rin insisted.

"She's right. We're not going to leave you, Kakashi. We're a team, and those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash," Obito added.

"That's why I have to go back. My team is on the memorial stone. I can't abandon them in favor of this, and you can't abandon your Kakashi just because I'm here," Kakashi reasoned.

The silence that followed was punctuated by Rin's sniffles. She removed her arms from his head and covered her face with her hands. "I don't know if I can do this without you. I don't want to be alone again."

Kakashi looked at Obito; this wasn't something he could resolve alone. Obito swallowed hard, then snaked his arm around Rin, pulling her close. "I'll help you."

She looked up at him, her lip trembling, but she nodded. "Who will help you, though?" she asked Kakashi.

"I have Gai. He's been a better friend to me than I have been to him. I hope to change that."

"We're going to miss you," Rin said, reaching out and grasping his hand.

Kakashi squeezed back. "I won't forget you."

#

The atmosphere in the room was thick with emotion; the tension was palpable. Kakashi stood near the Hokage's desk, holding a crystal from the Sandaime's vault in his hand. It shimmered subtly, as if mirroring the complex emotions filling the room. Minato and Kushina were present, with baby Naruto gently cradled in Kushina's arms. Rin, Obito, Genma, and Ebisu stood off to the side, their faces marked by varying degrees of understanding, resignation, and regret.

Then there was Gai, his normally exuberant energy absent, replaced by a palpable sadness that seemed out of place on his usually vibrant face.

Minato stepped forward, breaking the silence. "Kakashi, are you sure about this?"

Kakashi nodded. "I have a mission to complete in my own world. As much as I want to stay, this isn't where I belong."

Rin's voice was tinged with a bitterness she couldn't fully conceal. "So, you're just going to leave? After everything?"

Kakashi met her gaze, his own eyes filled with a complicated mix of sadness and resolve. "I have to, Rin. An entire world depends on me getting back and doing my job."

"But we're your world too, aren't we?" Obito's voice was thick, heavy with unspoken emotion.

Kakashi looked at him and then at Rin. "That's why it's so hard to leave. But the Kakashi of this world gave his life for his friends. I can't linger in the shadow of such a sacrifice."

Ebisu adjusted his glasses; his gaze was analytical but not devoid of feeling. "A noble decision, Kakashi."

Kakashi then turned to Genma. "Will you take care of them for me?"

Genma smirked, but his eyes were serious. "Of course. That's a given."

Finally, Kakashi's eyes met Gai's. The tension was almost unbearable. "Gai, look after everyone. Keep challenging them, and yourself."

Gai stepped forward, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I will, my friend. Although our eternal rivalry is pausing, know that I will train twice as hard, awaiting the day it can resume!"

Kakashi smiled—truly smiled—his eye crinkling in that familiar way. "I'll look forward to it."

Rin lunged forward and hugged Kakashi tightly. "Thank you for giving me back my family. I can't do the same for you, but I promise I'll find a way to help other shinobi like us." She released him and stepped back next to Obito. Kakashi found himself unable to respond to such a declaration, but he believed she would make good on her promise.

He glanced at Minato and Kushina one last time, nodding his thanks, before focusing on the crystal in his hand. As he channeled his chakra into it, the room filled with radiant light. And just like that, he was gone.

In the room he left behind, the air felt a little colder, the light a little dimmer. Each person dealt with the sudden emptiness in their own way, but they were unified in a singular thought: Kakashi would not be forgotten, and his absence would be keenly felt by each and every one of them.