Chapter Text
i never stay long enough in a fandom to actually finish a multi-chapter story. sob. maybe its my fault because i always try to somewhat keep to canon. which is hard when i havent actually listened to the podcast (ive listened to the first few. but that doesnt really count, does it?)
lesson learned. hopefully next multi-chapter i try to start will either be 1. in some sort of alternate universe. fix-it or something something where canon doesnt really matter. 2. or a fandom where ive actually fully interacted with the source material (as in. for example, watching the show, read the manga, etc etc-- reading a shit ton of time travel fics do NOT count. as much as id like it to, but also i dont have enough time to watch everything because so many things have a shit ton of seasons that its pain)
sigh.
notes for chapter 3
Sasha being all serious work-y, and the one that tones down tim’s eccentric ness and stuff like that.
Not!sasha being more laidback and uncaring in a way? Not stopping tim from being too intense at times, which makes martin get confused (there are doubts. But nobody else is confused. So he gets confused…)
Because i was a dumbass and forgot to put any sort of dialogue with sasha mentioning something like, say, what she liked, and then being able to do a parallel where not!sasha hates it?
Well its been communicated that sasha has straight hair (because then it turned curly with michael), so maybe not!sasha has curly hair. And martins thinking back on it or talking about it, and then he stumbles on his words because. ??? it doesnt make sense
(y’know, sasha probably is tan-ish, dark brown curly hair. Not-sasha being a blonde white shit, people have made these variations before about not sasha looking so stupidly different)
Flashbacks or reflections, like them going to the bars and having talks and stuff
Martin doing research on Barnabas Bennett, not finding much except the barest information about how he used to be some sort of tailor (OR, maybe he decides to actually go talk to elias about him. Which makes everything a little more strained with martin being ‘suspicious’ by going to elias’ office often, which would replace jon being really fucking suspicious of martin of the possibility of killing gertrude, to instead be about noting how suspicious martin is getting (post-edit. as in here rereading my notes before i send em here. jon could probably wonder if martin is spying on him for elias or something lmfao), which martin will later admit back to that conversation they had, and that when he went to his interview there was the weird appearance of bones (cue jon's confusion because he certainly didn't recall those), and that he felt some sort of connection with Barnabas Bennett, whoever it was. And that Elias knew something about him, that Barnabas had been in love with Jonah. It wasn’t like he had any other sources to learn from anyway, and that it might be.. His ghost problem. Or maybe he knew Barnabas.)
(martin talking to elias, being angry at him– because he gets mad when his friends, when people he cares about are in danger. Like ‘Where the hell is Jon!?’ and like. When Elias tries to have him back down, whether playing the ‘martin being easy’ card to distract him, to coerce him, or to intimidate him. And martins just like. More suspicious of him to where he starts avoiding him. It's not like he can report it to anyone, considering Elias is the highest authority, and what was he gonna say? ‘He made me feel uncomfortable’? ..Regardless, he didn’t say a word, and Elias avoided him. If Tim had any suspicions, it meant nothing. Because Tim died.)
“You wished to speak with me, Martin? I’m pleased. It has been awhile since we’ve had a conversation, one-on-one.”
Martin made an affirming, albeit stressed, noise. Was Elias actually angry that he’d refused any of his offers to talk? Or.. “I did, sir.”
“Elias, please.”
NOW! MY NOTES for the storyline go brr.
https://archiveofourown.info/works/26520907
regency
https://archiveofourown.info/works/27257101
Martin Blackwood is Barnabas Bennett
its probably not a tag but goddammit ill make it one
mm past lives. rebirth.
yknow it being past lives instead of elias just forcing it on him is so much better. like these moments of deja vu, peter lukas looking *familiar*..
when during the unknowing thing, melanie sneaking into office, jon tim and. basira..? at the circus thingy
and martin burning statements.
either elias already knew it was barnabas, or he'd find out then, and in his messed up joy would attempt to *turn* martin into Barnabas, Barnabas who was absolutely *devoted* to Jonah.
..what if jonah just saved barnabas' eyeballs and put them into martins eyeholes..-- euGH. only one though so as not to risk irreparable damage in the event of an accident or error or something like that.
(was not planning on writing it but i was brainstorming LMFAO. imagine i write a oneshot spin-off though. agh. i think often the reason for fics being discontinued is because its often starting at like start of canon to really showcase the idea. especially for, example, 'watching the show' fics, because they have scenes they want to write. but theres those episodes in between that they have to write but get drained by and therefore end up stopping. i really should've just written that scene instead but my knowledge of tma goes from season 1, little bit of season 2-ish, and a very basic understanding of what happened in the other seasons)
Jonah revealed himself during the panopticon thing according to the wiki
you know what would be really messed up? if jonah only really 'liked' barnabas out of curiosity. wondered how far he could push him, how easily could he be wrapped around his finger. a proper 'test' of the use of manipulation, seeing how one might react.
after all, barnabas already formed some sort of liking, even if it was more one-sided. it would be so easy to just use that blind devotion.
would it not?
and maybe. maybe barnabas 'acted out', being the strong and determined martin and not willing to be just, be ordered around anymore, that he has worth too and all that shit--
so
jonah leaves him to die by mordechai (thats how you spell it right?
and. maybe barnabas reincarnated into martin. but also maybe jonah helped it along
where it was meant to be barnabas' second try at joy away from the manipulations of jonah-- some things are not meant to be, and his 'thread' so to say, his 'fate' gets twisted and intertwined with jonahs.
i mean considering jonah fucking kept bennett's BONES???? WHAT.
(maybe during the interview martin kinda scrambles to make small talk because its so awkward and his eyes lands on a skull and is like 'so. um. whats that?? haha--'
'ah, the bones of one Barnabas Bennett.'
*awkward smile*
'ah..???' is it fake??? is it-w hat. huh? maybe Elias is just a really eccentric person.
Barnabas Bennett though? ..He felt as if he'd heard it before.
'Um. Mr. Bouchard, do you know why they're bones are here? Or maybe who Bennett is?"
"Please, call me Elias. And well, not many people know this, but Barnabas Bennett and Jonah Magnus were once in a relationship."
"Oh! D-Do you tell that to everyone..?" ..No answer to why bones were there. Christ.
"Well not many people ask. I know however that if this detail gets released out to the public, that many haters will only use it to fuel the flames."
"I see.."
I dont know what the institute looks like ive only gotten to like episode 3 because i always end up tuning out podcasts because background noise. so ive been reading the transcripts out loud doing their own little voices hfdsuhf
im reading this very britishly. im probably being offensive, idk i have a british friend but ive never really noticed an accent, or if there is im more focused on the words.
..to be fair we were playing horror games though so maybe i just. focused more on communication ;-;.
i DO have a good idea of the timeline though
also this is turning into the format that could probably work well for a multi-chapter story, which oop
edit: oh my god it totally is going to be. when i have ideas i write like those dialogue things. i have so many dialogue for different events that ive built up a story from start to end. oh.. LMFAo.
*using this as an excuse to put as much british slang as i can*
this is the most stupidest thing ever but i really want to write a scene with martin and jon, and jon noticing how much of a nervous mess martin is, and in a moment of him not being a fucking prick because he understands the stress of a new position, is just like 'do you want a fag?' and martins like *blink blink* 'you SMOKE?'
because i remember being so fucking startled when i first read that in a sentence it was like. 'go get some fags' and im just like 'WHAT'. and it continues on where we get cigarettes and im just like 'OH.'
---
barnabas: jonah-- *voice cracks*
jonah: shh..
barnabas: y-you- *sob* i-i thought i was gonna be gone forever! a-and you didn't..
jonah: *'comfort'* im so sorry, barnabas. Mordechai had told me that it wasn't that bad, and I believed him. I'm so sorry, darling, I did not know to what extent he would hurt you so. But I am here now. I promise.
Barnabas: *crying* okay. okay. i missed you. how..?
jonah: I missed you too. im never, ever, leaving you again, okay? i promise. i never thought it was real, but i guess past lives or reincarnation isn't so much an idea but now a reality. ive waited for you for so long. i had my suspicions but i never knew to check until now.
barnabas: huh..? oh. i.. *pauses to look around* what was i doing here?
jonah: oh, you had this awlful plan to set fire to this lovely place. isn't that horrible?
barnabas: o-oh.. I.. Jonah, I know how important all your research was. This.. This is your- was? your institute, isn't it? I'm so sorry. If I'd known, become aware before then, I'm sure I wouldn't have.
jonah: it is alright, because now I have you here.
barnabas: *blush* You flatter me. ..But I am happy that I came back with you, too. .. ..I can't realy remember much though, now that I've 'awoken'. Did this happen to you too? Who.. am I? I feel like I *belong* here, but god this is scary. to be in this foreign body..
jonah: shh *kiss* your body's name is Martin Blackwood, and this is the archives. He was an archival assistant here. I'm your boss, actually. This body's name is Elias Bouchard- Honestly, I awoke working in research at my institute, funny isn't it? And I worked from there to take my rightful place as the head.
barnabas: ..Martin. Yes, that sounds right. And Elias sounds like such a pretty name. You were reborn as a privileged white man, once again, and I think I've.. had my fair share of struggles.
jonah: yes, but now we're here together, love.
barnabas: ..love you too. but. i. how do we..? theres an obvious power imbalance, and, wouldnt it be weird for.. 'martin' to suddenly act different? weird. ? I don't even know if I *want* to be Martin. it feels right, but also.. wrong?
jonah: Unfortunately, Martin doesn't really have friends. But don't worry, you don't need them, do you? You only need me.
barnabas: ..mm. i suppose. still i.. what do i do?
jonah: why dont you move in with me? i wasnt that bad of a roommate was i? everyone needs familiarity when faced with change, with difference.
barnabas: ..that sounds nice.
person. melanie?? i dont . i need to fact check. but anyway shes like.
'martin! where were you? we've been looking all over for you, and especially considering what happened, i wouldve figured youd have been more worried.. you just. disappeared after the plan! i-i mean you did really well.. (distracting elias) *side-eyes elias* but you were just up and gone!'
barnabas: huh? *confusion 'was this the person who convinced me to ruin jonah's life's work..?*
jonah: *whispers to barnabas very noticeably, smirking smugly in melanie's direction*
barnabas: oh. um. i.. left.
melanie: what.
barnabas: Look. It was a really stupid plan, and I don't know what you were expecting to achieve!
melanie: Martin, you.. *looks between him and elias, clearly suspicious* Hey, what the hell did you do to him!?
elias: *tilts head* Me?
barnabas: *steps in between them* Hey, don't yell at him! He didn't do anything!
melanie: ... *frustrated sigh* whatever. anyway, Martin, I hadn't been able to tell you. but. god. it all went to shit. Tim's dead. Daisy's probably dead. And Jon.. Jon's in a coma. He might as well be dead, but he still has brain activity, so..
barnabas: *trying not to be too obvious in his confusion, but elias leans in anyway, informing him of stuff. probably negative stuff so as to isolate him from the others.* ..why should I care?
melanie: *shock* why should you?-- Martin I thought-- *betrayed, before horror and turning to elias again* You! I know you have your creepy eye powers (dunno when they learned about it but probably before), what the hell did you do to Martin!?
barnabas: Hey! He didn't do anything to me! He just.. Made me remember. There were so many things I didn't know, that I could've been missing out on, but now he's here, helping me, and.. Look. Frankly, I don't know who you are, and I don't care. If you're going to come over here, and. and. and insult my boyfriend! then, then you can go shoo!
melanie: *confirmed that elias is doing some weird fucking trickery* ugh. fine! you'll change your mind when jon wakes up, i know it will.. *leaves*
barnabas: >:(
jonah: im so proud of you. i know you have your struggles with standing up to people.
barnabas: yeah, well, she was being really rude! for no reason!
jonah: :)
jon: *wakes up* MARTIN-
barnabas: ..
martin: jon. ? (incredulously. confusion.)
------------
jon: Martin! Why.. *Why are you with Elias?*
barnabas: Because I love him.
jon: *looks like he was smacked*
barnabas: Because he's everything. Because he's all I have left. Because he understand, he *helped* me understand-- *awareness* I- You- *closed off* Elias was right.
jon: Wait, no, I- Martin!
--
(on one of the rare days he wasnt with elias...)
barnabas: *listening into elias and jon's conversation about 'barnabas bennett', how he knew that barnabas was in trouble but didn't do anything, was perfectly capable of doing so and was fully aware, but didnt because he wanted to watch.*
..
barnabas: jon!
jon: huh? martin? W-What are you doing here? I thought you didn't want to see me, after...
barnabas: no. i. You were right. J- Elias wasn't who I thought he was.. I'm so sorry. I think he missed with my head, I can't believe I didn't remember.. (how controlling he was. how what Jonah wanted was someone who he could control, mold to fit his every whim and desire. He can't believe he forget they'd had a fight over it- When he'd seen Jonah's true colors and had refused to stay docile, to be compliant. He hated that he thought that Jonah truly loved him, that he'd even let Jonah..)
----
*the archive gang noticing martin being really different*
person: ..can you tell us what elias did to you? what he *has* been doing?
barnabas: i..
person: please, this could help us learn what kind of powers he has, what things we need to protect ourselves from..
barnabas: i don't know. i. honestly I don't remember that much. the farthest I can recall is.. i was in the archives. he.. told me that i'd been burning the statements. he..*eyes watering* i. i felt really.. confused. but he felt right. J- Elias just felt right, l-like he was this hero, this savior. i don't. why didn't i question anything..? why. it doesn't make sense. i should've-- but he. .
person: ..martin?
barnabas: *looks up, feeling lost* ..i think he manipulated my memories. i. i thought.. but.. i thought he was doing a good thing, but he'd deliberately left out a memory he *knew* would've caused me to dissent, and- Oh, that FUCKER-! He-! *laughs* Oh Jonah, you daring bastard. you really thought yourself cocky enough to..
person: *whistle* woah there tiger!
person: Jonah? As in.. Jonah Magnus?
barnabas: *hums, a dark look in his face* I have a story for you. Jonah Magnus once befriended a tailor named Barnabas Bennett. They fell in love, and yet the reality was that Jonah saw a puppet, an easy mark to control, and control he did, until that puppet refused, stepped back and refused to be a compliant doll.
The puppet would later end up in trouble with Mordechai Lukas, and would send a letter to Jonah asking for help.
Jonah would deliberately ignore it. He was perfectly capable of lending out a helping hand, but no, he wanted to *watch*. And watch he did. Watch as his supposed lover died.
Jonah then became other people, bodyhopping. I bet his explanation was shite too.
..and later, he became Elias Bouchard. Elias became the Head. And then he found interest in one Martin Blackwood, found similarities between Barnabas and him, and guess what? The day I burnt those statements, he probably messed with my head, altered my memories. Right now, I am Barnabas Bennett. And I honestly don't know if I truly am him, or just a mimicry, molded to Jonah's tastes. I don't even remember who Martin is, just that he was.. me. Except he never gave me the memory of the fight, of when I actually grew a spine for myself. So I.. I loved him. And he said he loved me too. I.. He had this whole idea of past lives, and he was the only familiar thing I *had-* I trusted him. I. So I listened to him. And for that, I am so sorry. I know you're probably not comfortable with me, knowing any part of Martin that was me is gone. That Martin is probably gone. I'm sorry.
--------
*confronting jonah*
jonah: *something 'Barnabas' obnoxious fuck believing barnabas is still under his control*
Barnabas: *breaking free from his chains*
Martin: My name is Martin Blackwood! I-I like tea, and knitting, and I find spiders cute! I find sewing relaxing, and I Know You Jonah Magnus. I am Martin Blackwood, and I am not more Barnabas then I am Martin! Because Martin is me, just as Barnabas is me, because I *know* it happened before you came into my life. Maybe past lives could've been a thing, but it was not for you. Never for you. That does not give you any right to mess with my head, remove everything that was Martin from me, and mold me into your little doll! You have no right to call yourself Barnabas' lover. No right to shove yourself into his memory by keeping his bones here.
*stronger* I am Martin Blackwood. I am not alone. I have friends, Martin's friends, *my* friends. I have a crush on my boss, and that. is. not. you. You have no right to ruin my life like you ruined Barnabas'. God, I don't think you can even realize how fucked up that is! You just shoved Barnabas' memories into my head, pretended you loved me. I was confused, you messed with my head, and I thought I loved you, but I was wrong. You can't fake feelings of love, just as much as you can't just remove it. Barnabas just wished for attention, to be noticed and to be loved. But I? I don't have that problem. Because I, Martin Blackwood, have friends! I am not lonely, just as Barnabas is no longer lonely. Because Barnabas is I, and I am Martin! My friends are his friends, and you do not count for that. You are *nothing*, just a cockroach refusing to die. Well, no more! I refuse, and you can't make me back down!
elias: *opens mouth, hands raised as if in a 'i mean no harm' pose*
basira: *shoots at him, attempting to hit his hand. elias dodges, disgruntled..* oh no you don't. you don't even get to LOOK at them. You, Elias Bouchard, are under arrest.
---
a dance of rebirth,
or
a dance with death
"Brilliant green eyes", glowing, whatever
"Chilling green eyes"
alternatively more stuff
uh i dont remember why i wrote this but there were other random notes i remember writing??
Barnabas Bennett awoke in the body of Martin Blackwood
'When he first awoke, he remembered feeling so disoriented. He'd talked to his mother about it, but she'd brushed it off, claiming it as a weird nightmare. A child's imagination.
..He'd dreamed of a fog. A freezing fog that clung to him no matter how far he ran, a fog that was just so hungry. It blinded his vision, and any detail he thought he noticed, anything that might ground him-- A wall, or something, such as how the blind navigate. Where they focus on sound cues and touch to determine if they're near a wall.
No matter how hard he tried to focus, he couldn't. It hurt his eyes to squint, because it didn't get any clearer. He felt so lost--
..And oh-so alone.'
The reality of his situation hit him when, he, for some reason, still trusted his mum, no matter how blatant it was in hindsight how she hated him. She'd off-handedly mentioned how she wasn't going to deal with some loony, and that he could.. 'fuck off' to The Magnus Institute, where people will really believe him and his 'lies'.
Magnus. That was right.
Jonah Magnus. His everything, his love, his--
..At the first chance he had, he'd gone to the internet (crazy how things have changed), finding that Jonah Magnus had died a long time ago.
However his institute had lived on, his magnum opus so to say.
And Barnabas knew he had to go. Knew he had to find his way to the last thing Jonah left behind.
^^^ i have zero clue what that was for? i think it was one of those moments where i suddenly have an idea and have to write it down before i forget. so then it happened. but now i dont really know what to do with it lmfao.
i swear i had more notes somewhere. like about how foreshadowing, like, possibly, the actual plot of the story happening in hints and bits and pieces. not directly involved as the protagonist, but it all comes together. somehow.
but also thats hard and probably wont make sense so id. honestly probably have to resort to alternating povs/multiple povs? which. i am not the biggest fan of because, i am not that good at writing in differing thoughts.
well. 🤷🤷🤷