Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dot Malto was really starting to get tired of Transformers.  Specifically Optimus.  Trouble seemed to follow the mech around like a shadow.  Or maybe it was the other way around.  It was the main reason she stopped working with transformers.  After she had Robbie, she couldn't risk not being there for her kids.  But it seems that she has a similar curse as trouble always seems to find her now matter where she goes.  Or at the very least, Optimus always seems to find her.  As the familiar looking peterbilt and pink suv started coming towards her as she was setting down cones for what looked to be an accident, she was really hoping that it was just one hell of a coincidence.  But Dot had never been THAT lucky.  Soon they transformed out of their alt modes and walked the rest of the way to Dot.  And Optimus knocked over her cone.  

“You messed up my cones.”  

“ Sorry, Dot.  OP's having...a day.”  

Elita tried to apologize on Optimus’s behalf while he tried and failed to fix the cone he knocked over.  

“Which continues.  This city may be in danger, Lieutenant Malto.”  

“It's Ranger Malto, OP.  I work for Park Services now, not Autobots.  The war is over, and so is our association.”  

“Think of it as working for GHOST.”  

“I don't believe in ghosts.”  

“GHOST is a secret military agency, the one we work with to ensure safe Cybertronian-Earth relations.”  

As Elita was explaining what ghost was, Dot got distracted by what sounded like a small engine.  One that was getting closer.  Fast.  Looking around she found Sari.  Sari, a techno organic that was discovered to be living on earth.  A former vessel for the All Spark.  

“MRS. MALTO!”  

She yelled as she landed.  Her wardrobe's color pallet hasn't changed since she last saw the girl.  Wearing a dress with a short skirt and leggings that bled into her boots.  The techno in techno organic became a lot more visible over the years, as she was flying on her own metallic wings.  They were similar to a seeker's jet wings, just Sari sized.  As Sari started rushing towards the group, she disengaged her battle helm and mask.  Showing that her twin pigtails had been traded out for a low ponytail.  

“Sari?!  Oh look at you… you've gotten so tall.”  

She was tall alright, a few inches taller than Dot, but that's not what caught her attention.  On her chest, right above what Dot could only assume to be a looking glass into her spark chamber, was the same badge that Optimus and Elita were wearing.  It wasn't the autobot, though its insignia was a part of the design.  Whatever her grievances with Optimus are, she always respected him for trying to keep her out of combat, even to their own detriment.  So why was she wearing the same badge that ghost had the others wearing?

“GHOST created your job to relocate you to their headquarters here.”  

Optimus said, trying to redirect the conversation.  

“So all this is a lie.”  

“If it makes you feel better, they're having me move here for work too.”  

Sari piped in.  No, no that didn't make her feel better at all. If anything it made her feel worse.  

“We needed the best.  A mysterious new enemy is threatening this town, one that attacks our convoy and abducts our prisoners.”  

“You're telling me Decepticons and more of whatever this is, are right here in Witwicky?”  

If human sized Sari flying caught her attention, then the tiltrotor aircraft halted the conversation.  As he descended, as he transformed.  And then walked up and grabbed her.  

“You always knew how to make an entrance, Megs.” 

With a laugh he set her down on one of the trucks on its side.  

“Terror in the skies.”  

“Honor in the streets.”  

“Platoon Cyber Strike reunited.  I heard GHOST wanted you on the team.”  

“Well, if it means working with you, maybe it's not all bad.  So, Optimus, what's our game plan here?” 

“I'm investigating several theories.  Meanwhile, these drones will do a sweep to collect intel.” 

- 

Megatron and Mrs. Malto were having a conversation a little ways away from them.  Sari was monitoring the drones and the data that they brought back as they slowly started coming in.  Until one drone just didn't come back.  

“Missing one.  Hate to say it Sari, but your tech has bugs--the explode-y kind.”  

“That's impossible…”  

While to this day Sari was still having problems with the mere FRACTION of power that the All Spark left her with,  the ability to understand technology and know how to fix it had always been one of her more stable powers.  While she worked on it together with Wheeljack, whose tech hasn't been known to be the most stable.  Sari made sure that these drones were perfect for standard use for ghost operations .  

“Tell that to the missing drone.”  

“Hey, once you become a vessel for the allspark and get some of its powers, then we can talk.” 

 Whatever Wheeljack worked on for himself wasn't her responsibility.  But since joining ghost, anything and everything that was standard issue was sent through her, if she didn't build it herself first.  

Sari was going through every other bit of data that was collected, trying to find some clue about the missing drone.  Only to be snapped out of it by Optimus.  

“The drones didn't find anything.  We'll need to search the town ourselves.  Autobots, roll out!” 

- 

Sari won't lie, after finding Mrs. Malto’s kids along with two new transformers, her first thought was very much 

‘oh please tell me I’m older than them.’  

After a back and forth between the children and their mother, the two new transformers, Twitch and Thrash were carted into the back of a ghost truck.  It took awhile to get away from the paparazzi and finally talk to Optimus.  

“Optimus, I don't like this.”  

“It's the best way to keep them safe.”  

“Then how come I wasn't treated the same after the war.”  

“Sari that was different.”  

“You fought to keep me out of ghost.”  

“Because-”  

Optimus cut himself off, looking past Sari.  

“What is it?”  

“A ghost truck just pulled up, let me see what they want.”  

- 

You know, breaking in through a skylight was a first.  The few times that Sari was a part of a mission on the ground, if you could believe it, was against Decepticons.  And they tend to be a bit too big for normal buildings.  So as they got the signal to jump in, Sari followed Elita as she broke through the skylight.

“Elita- one.  How about a little Decepticon-Autobot tango?”  

They were addressed by a ragged man in a lab coat, lugging around a transformer arm the size of his whole body in place of his normal arm.  

“For old time's sake.”  

He pressed a button, and out came several dazed looking Decepticons, before running away.  Sari dodged and ran past them, leaving the poor bastards to Elita-1.  She followed after the man.  That was her job, she was quick and she could fit through those tiny doors.  Sari ignored everything else and focused on apprehending the culprit.  She chased him through said tiny doors and down a narrow underground pathway.  She was gaining on him.  And then she was pulled back.  One of the arachamech’s webbing had grabbed onto her arm.  And then another, and another and more then.  It was impossible for her to keep going or break out on strength alone.  For tiny bots, they were strong.  By the time Sari used her blades to cut herself free and destroy the remaining arachamechs’ the man was gone.  Even racing towards the end of the tunnel yielded nothing.  It just led to an empty alleyway.  He got away.  

“DAMN IT!”

- 

“Hey… Elita.”  

“Sari, is everything alright?”  

“He got away.”  

“Are you hurt?”  

“No, I’m fine…”  

“...Dont worry about it, We’ll catch him eventually.”  

“I know.”  

“Besides, I think there's someone here, you’ll be excited to see.”

-

Sari made her way back to the warehouse empty handed.  Megatron had Hardtop in cuffs.  Mrs. Malto was hugging her kids and…  

“BUMBLEBEE!!”  

Sari immediately picked up speed and crashed into Bee with a hug.  

“OOF!  Sari!  When’d you get wings?!”  

“When’d you lose the buggy?!” 

Chapter Text

Sari was back in Detroit.  While she was moving to Witwicky for more work with Ghost, she still had to pack everything.  Her clothes, her tools, some pictures.  She was in the middle of finishing up a box and putting it aside to be put into the u-haul truck when she got the call.  

“Sari here.”  

“Sari, hey…”  

“Hey Bee, what's up?”  

“When you were younger… how did I get you to listen to me?”  

“You didn't.”  

“What?”  

“We were horrible influences on each other, if anything we enabled each other's impulsivity.”  

Sari said it with a laugh.  Then quieted when she realized the other end of the line was silent.  

“Bee?  What's wrong?”  

“They hate me…”  

“The Terrans?”  

“...yeah…” 

She let out a heavy sigh.  

“I’ll be done packing in an hour.  And if I skip my plane and just fly there myself.  Instead of coming tomorrow morning, I can be there in an hour and a half.”  

“Sari- you don't have to.”  

“Please, I can't wait to meet the ONLY two people on Earth who can't stand you.”  

“...thanks.”  

“Anytime.”  

- 

The Maltos were currently in the middle of redoing game night, when suddenly.  

“BEE!  MRS. MALTO!  HELLO!”  

Quickly everyone rushed out of the barn, to see Sari.  Seeing people emerge from the barn, Sari came over, namely to Bee.  

“I got here as fast as I can. I think I even shaved a few minutes off of my original ETA!”  

She said excitedly.  

“Sari, you're not supposed to be here until tomorrow.”  

Dot spoke calmly, prompting an explanation.  Bumblebee stiffened, embarrassed.  The kids eyed her curiously.  

“Well, I got a call from Bee BEGGING for my help with the new Terrans.”  

Sari teased.  Bee immediately jumped in to defend himself.  

“NOW HOLD ON!  I only called for advice!  You’re the one who came up with the idea of coming early!  And I was even able to resolve the situation, thank you very much.”  

“Yeah, Bumblebee can be a great teacher when he’s not yelling at us.”  

The red one, Twitch, jumped in.  

“Well no wonder they didn't like you.”

Terrans watched as it looked like a switch was flipped with their teacher.  It was surreal watching Bumblebee and Sari, who, even with their short time being alive, knew both were war heroes.  Bumblebee, the famous scout that retrieved vital information that saved lives and was one of the fastest Autobots online.  Sari, who while carrying the allspark, has brought bots back from the dead.  And both of them were fighting like children.  

- 

“So Sari, it's not that we aren't glad to have you, but shouldn't you be able to live on your own by now?”  

Alex asked.  It was the next day, Sari had been led to the guest room which is where she was sleeping.  It was early morning.  The kids were still asleep and Alex was busy making breakfast when Sari joined them in the kitchen.  Dot’s coffee suddenly tasted sour at the question.  

“Well, Ghost isn't really keen on letting… anything from Cybertron walk around without supervision.  So Mrs. Malto is technically my… babysitter.”  

More like parole officer

Dot thought.  It was discussed with Dot shortly after Sari flew back to Detroit to properly pack.  How  

"The Techno-Organic is already a walking time-bomb, and someone has to be there to ‘handle’ her, should the need arise.”  

Were Croft's words.  

“I tried to keep her away from Ghost.  The human courts deemed handing Sari over to ghost right after the war would be unethical.  A violation of International Humanitarian Law.  No such protection for after she turned 18.”  

Was the story she got from Op.  There was a tense silence after what Sari said.  Sari was trying her best not to show the sheer humiliation of what ghost was putting her through.  

“Call me Dot.”  

“Huh?”  

“You’re under my roof, you can call me Dot.” 

- 

The U-haul had arrived.  And Robbie and Mo had been roped into helping her boxes into her room.  Until they got distracted.  Robbie was currently examining one of her more dangerous tools, ie, her welding torch.  

“Be careful with that, could lose an eyebrow.”  

She teased.  She heard the clang as Robbie dropped it.  

“Relax, don't see it connected to any fuel, do ya.”  

“Right, sorry.”  

He rubbed the back of his neck.  

“Don't worry, as long as it still works by the end of the day everythings fine.”  

Sari picked up the dropped welding torch and put it back in the box.  She couldn't really work on anything big in her room, everything was too flammable.  She would need to wait until she could set up a proper work station at ghost headquarters.  

“So you came from Cybertron, right?”  

Mo asked.  

“Technically.”  

“What was it like?”  

“no clue.”  

“Huh?” 

“Pretty sure I was only on Cybertron long enough for my Creator to ignite my Spark then yeeted me to earth.”  

“Ignite your what?”  

That caught Robby’s attention  

“My spark.  Transformers heart, soul, something along those lines.  The way transformers reproduce is by a protoform being forged and given to a parent.  Their spark ignites one within the protoform, kinda like how you would use a match to light another match.”  

And they said explaining where babies are made would be hard. 

  “Do you know who your creator is?”  

And it suddenly got hard.  

“...yes.”  

“Who are they?”  

Mo pushed for an answer.  

“That is for me to know and you to never find out.”  

Sari started ushering the two kids out of her room.  She closed the door on their shouts of surprise and defiance.  She knew who her Sire is.  It was an incredibly well kept secret.  Only 6 people, including her,  knew.  But if that information were to get out, both of them would be in a lot of trouble. 

Chapter Text

It was early morning, the kids had already been dragged out for training by Bee. Though from Sari’s spot at the kitchen table, she can watch them through the window. It looked alot more like them playing a game. Dot was enjoying a cup of coffee and Alex was preparing breakfast. As Sari waited for said breakfast, she scrolled through her phone. Looking through work email, going through all the requests, complaints ect ect from ghost. And she did that for all of 3 minutes before she got bored and started scrolling through social media.

“I never ‘sausage’ a good breakfast. The perfect start to a great day.”

CRASH!

One minute Sari was watching a puppy video, the next Twitch and Thrash had burst through the wall and were now fighting on the table.

“Family. Meeting.”

-

A great day huh. It's barely noon, and Sari had to clear the damage that the terrans caused, TWICE. She had to not only repair the walls, but added a hinged system into the kitchen walls. Then she was pulled away for a Decepticon attack. She barely just got back to the house to explain to Alex that really any energon powered weapon should not be used for cooking as it could result in energon poisoning. And then.

“SARI!”

It was Twitch, flying up to Sari in her alt mode.

“WE NEED A REFEREE!”

“What?”

Robby ran up next to her.

“We need a referee to keep score on the chore list! And make sure no one is cheating.”

As he said that last part he gave Twitch a sharp elbow nudge. And then the two started fighting again.

“Fine fine, I'll be your referee, just stop fighting.”

The two stopped their escalating argument and dragged Sari to the sticker chart. She was about to give up on doing anything productive today.

-

Sari had been stationed to be sitting right outside the barn, watching the two kids doing yard work, rather aggressively. Eventually Bee stepped out of the barn.

“You havin’ fun Sari?”

It was a rhetorical question, something to joke about.

“Actually yeah, they are surprisingly good at trash talk.”

“You are gonna love our family.”

She heard Thrash’s voice, him and Mo disappeared at some point during the day. She turned to see the young bot, and was met with… Bumblebee did not hesitate to tackle Swindle to the ground. Which eventually resulted in an all-out fist fight between the two.

“Stop, Bee!”

“He's our friend!”

“No, he's not. He's a Decepticon.”

The two had a back and forth, Bee eventually brought Swindle to the ground. But the fighting between the two caused them to roll.

“Go, go, go!”

Dot started ushering the kids farther away from the fight.

“Remember me, Bumblebee? We fought the Battle of the Bay. I'm gonna enjoy this.”

Bumblebee threw him into the newly fixed kitchen walls.

“My beautiful kitchen!”

“Ow, ow. Bumblebee, I said I surrender.”

Then the tables started to turn, with Swindle getting out of Bumblebee’s hold and pinning him against a nearby tree.

“Nice family you got here. I'll take them.”

“Take this!”

“Huh?”

Swindle only had enough to turn his face right into the head of Sari’s hammer. He went flying. Sari was using wings to stay hovering near Bee as he righted himself. It had become a 2v1 battle. And you can imagine who was losing. It ended with Bumble throwing Swindle into the air. And Sari raced to get just above him, to use her hammer to slam him into the ground. It left a small crater, one that Swindle yet to move from. Bumblebee readied his stinger and aimed. And then Thrash and Mo ran to him.

“Bumblebee, please! Swindle doesn't mean any harm.”

Mo begged.

“Yeah! You come out blasting, and you don't know anything about him!”

Thrash defended. Bee put away his stinger as Swindle crawled out of the crater.

“Typical Autobots. All I wanted was a little help.”

And drove off.

“Sneaking out is one thing, but bringing a Decepticon to our home?”

Alex reprimanded.

“He was nice to us! And he didn't try to control us with bogus rules.”

“Rules like keeping your identity secret from the enemy? Obviously. I'm in hiding too. Remember?”

“You guys never give a Bot a chance, not Swindle, not Twitch and me.”

“I actually have no complaints.”

“Thrash, Swindle is like a skeevy car salesman, not to mention a notorious thief. You really can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth.”

“You are different from Swindle. Cons weren't born into that life; they chose it. And anyone who wears that badge can't be trusted.”

Mo was over by the wreckage of what used to be the kitchen. And pulled out a framed photo.

“They aren't all bad. Right, Mom? You're friends with Megatron.”

It was a picture of Dot, dressed in her old army uniform, carried by Megatron.

“That's different. Megatron has truly changed.”

“Which you learned when you gave him a chance. Well, I deserve a chance too, one without a bunch of rules that stop me from being me.”

Thrash yelled, before storming off to the little tent that he and Mo had set up.

“You're still grounded, but we love you.”

-

Robby and Twitch continued their competition shortly after Swindle had run away like a property damaging fight had never taken place on their front lawn. And Sari was obligated to watch all of it, mainly to break up any fighting and put stars on the little chart. And it went on like this until the sun started to fall. Until they were at ‘the last chore’ as they were calling it. Sari called it ‘destroying the yard’.

“Last chore left. First one done with their half of the lawn gets the final star and sweet victory.”

Robby had connected a controller to a mower. Honestly, Sari was impressed he got that working.

“Are we talking or mowing?”

“Oh, it's on. Three, two, one, go!”

Yep, destroying the yard. The two were less cutting the grass and more digging up the grass from the roots and leaving barren earth in their wake. And they weren't even being thorough. Large patches of grass remained on both sides. Making it look like a superpowered roomba just escaped the house. As soon as both of them ‘finished’ their sides, they turned to Sari for her verdict on who won the star. And honestly.

“It's a tie.”

“That's worse than losing!”

Twitch screamed while Robbie just yelled in frustration.

“Last stars.”

“You don't even like bebincas.”

Sari really should be an adult and put a stop to the fight. But if she didn't stop Twitch from stealing the neighbors eggs because she thought it was funny. There's no way she's gonna stop this.
At no point during this day did she think that she would be held accountable for enabling them. That changed when she saw Dot and Bumblebee pull up to the house with Mo and Thrash in tow. As the group walked closer, the two stopped their arguing.

“Ahem, The lawn's mowed forever! How many stars is that worth?”

“None. Why didn't you stop them?”

Dot turned to ask Sari.

“I am not a responsible adult by any means of the word. I was using them as free entertainment.”

She could hear the ‘thud’ as Bumblebee facepalmed.

The only thing louder was Dot’s sigh.

“As part of their 80-year grounding, Mo and Thrash can re-sod that tomorrow. With your help.” Dot pointed to Sari during that last part.”

-

Several days had passed and the lawn was truly starting to look like more than just an odd patch of dirt again. And a new day means more training.

“What's on the activities list today?”

Twitch asked Bee, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Following behind her were her siblings. Thrash was awake, though not nearly as excited. Robby and Mo were the only ones who showed the less than positive effects of waking up early for ‘training’.

“Sorry Twitch, you’re with me today.”

Sari called out from the doorway, making her way to the rest of the group.

“REALLY?!”

“Wait, hold on. Why is only Twitch going with you, why can't the rest of us?”

Thrash asked.

“Simple, we’re the only two here that can fly.”

“What are we gonna do? Aerial combat, mid flight transformations, SKYDIVING!”

“Cool your jets, I'm gonna have to teach you how to fly properly before we can get into any of that.”

“I already know how to fly. Watch.”

With that, Twitch transformed into her alt-mode, flew into the air to do a small loopty-loop, then transformed back and hit the ground.

“Ta-da!”

The scene was truly completed by the small claps from the rest of the Malto children.

“Nice, how about we put that to the test then, with a race.”

Sari offered, starting to walk away from the group. An excited gasp escaped Twitch as she ran to catch up with Sari.

-

“You know about the curve in the road, right?”

A few miles down the road from the Malto’s house the road made a curve, as if trying to dodge something in the forest, before it rights itself. Twitch nodded excitedly.

“We start here, and the first one to reach the road once it curves back in is the winner, sound fair.”

“Sounds easy!”

Twitch transformed into a drone, her engines whirling, ready to speed off.

“Ready when you are.”

Sari activated her battle helm and brought out her wings.

“Ready. Set. GO!”

-

Twitch zoomed down the road, and quickly entered the forest. Quickly trying to dodge any tree that was in her path, and breaking through any branch that was small enough. At some point she realized that she lost track of Sari. She had been right beside her up until the forest. Then she looked up. Sari was flying above the trees, and she was ahead of Twitch.

-

“You cheated!”

Sari had reached the road first. Twitch broke through the treeline like a bat outta hell. She was covered in small dents and scratches to her paint job. A twig had gotten stuck in her wing, the area between her rodders and the rest of her body. Sari started to remove the twig as she spoke.

“Never said you had to fly through the forest, just that you had to get here.”

“Urgh, Fine! Rematch, first one to get back to the house wins!”

“Sounds good to me.”

Sari shrugged. Her nonchalant attitude was starting to get on Twitch's nerves.

“Ready, set, GO!”

Twitch was already flying above the trees before she said ‘go’.

-

Fun fact about the Malto estate. They actually lived on an incline. One wouldn't think of mountain, but without the trees, you could see the whole of the small town of Witwicky. That also means that right above those tall trees, the winds start to pick up. Which was the problem that Twitch Malto was facing right now. Constantly being blown around and off track. Just as Twitch was trying to power through her way towards home, a particularly strong gust of wind sent her spiraling sideways. And then she wasn't. Sari had caught and steadied her. Twitch transformed into bot-mode, and Sari readjusted her grip so she was holding her hand.

“The winds only get stronger the higher you get.”

“How are you doing this?”

Sari had kept them steady. She stayed hovering in the air like the winds are nothing. Like she's not the only reason Twitch isn't being thrown around.

“Big bots like Megatron don't need to worry about winds at this altitude. He’s big and powerful enough so the winds don't be a problem until he’s A LOT higher up. We're small, we can't just power through the winds like there is nothing. We have to work smarter, not harder. Now, you ready to learn how to fly?”

Twitch eagerly nodded her head.

“You gotta lean into the winds.”

Chapter Text

“Honestly, I’m surprised they deliver all the way out here.”

Sari kicked the front door behind her as she carried the packages to the dinner table.

“Oh is there anything for me? I ordered a new cookbook.”

Alex walked in and straight to the fridge to start cooking. Dot had taken the rest of the kids to see her office, so it was only her and Alex in the house with Bumblebee outside.

“No, no, no, sorry nothing with your-”

Just as she was going through all the letters and smaller packages, she reached the largest on the bottom. It was addressed to her.

“Huh?”

Sari didn't really order stuff for herself. She placed orders for materials and tools all the time, but most of it was on ghost’s dime. And never really sent to her place of residence. Because opening mysterious packages is totally not a bad idea. Sari quickly cut the tape and peeked inside.

“Holy mother of- ''

Inside was the latest gaming console. The Polystation 5. And right on top of it was Guilty Justice, the latest installment in a long line of fighting games.

“Hey, did it finally come in?”

It was Bee, bending down and peeking through the window.

“Did you- How did you?”

“The card.”

“The-”

That's right. Right before Bee went into hiding. The Sumdacs gave him an emergency credit card. Incase of the event he needed to pay for something. It was given with the understanding that it would probably never be used, but still wanted to help out in some way.

“Honestly I forgot about that.”

Sari trailed off.

“Well I never really used it till now.”

“Oh, are you gonna introduce it to the kids?”

“Huh?”

“Honestly, this seems right up their alley. And I think that Dot mentioned them having a projector stored away. I can go get it.”

Sari was running out the kitchen and up the stairs missing the heavy sigh from Bumblebee and the sympathetic look from Alex.

-

Sari was just walking back into the kitchen with the Projector in hand when it started. The door bell was going crazy. Well not crazy, crazy implied that it was being pushed at random. This had a pattern, a tune.

“Jingle bells?”

The doorbell was being pushed to the tune of the classic Christmas song. And Alex was singing along to it, kinda.

“Hide the bots, hide the bots~”

And then it hit them. Alex let out a gasp as he realized. Sari dropped the projector.

“Hide the bots!”

Alex rushed to the window, trying to get Bee’s attention.

“Shh, shh. Bumblebee, get in the barn.”

Except Bee was too preoccupied with stretching to hear him. So Sari got his attention the only way she could think of. She threw a spoon at him. It doinked off of him and hit the grass. But it got his attention.

“Hey!”

“Get in the barn!”

Sari was viciously trying to shoo him into the barn when she heard the door open.

“Sweetheart, we have company.”

Dot called out in a last ditch effort to warn them. Wouldn't have given them much time as shortly after she called out, her and Jon Scholder were walking into the kitchen.

“Agent Scholder? What brings you here?”

Sari had only met Scholder once. While she had been working for Ghost since she turned 18, she was based in Detroit. Mainly focusing on working and perfecting tech and gear for them. She was introduced to Scholder during her tour of the base when she moved to Witwicky. But it was rather brief.

“Sorry Sumdac, but that's… classified”

Sari was taken aback at his words as he just went about studying the kitchen. Maybe for some kinda proof that his ‘Decepticon’ was here in some shape or form.

“Ah, yes. Early 20th century craftsman aesthetic. Big on charm, not defensibility.”

Or not.

“You are?”

Scholder looked at Alex.

“My husband, Doctor Alex Malto. This is GHOST Agent Schloder.”

“Oh, good-good to meet you. Nobody home but us, and we definitely shouldn't go into the backyard or barn.”

Oh we’re so doomed.

“Hah. That's oddly specific.”

“Haha yeah, I may have commandeered the barn as my own personal workshop. It's a bit of a hazard zone at the moment.”

Sari quickly tried to save the situation. Only for it to immediately get ruined again by Bumblebee’s VERY AUDIBLE TRANSFORMATION SOUND.

Son of a-

“Ah, yes. The music of my quarry. Well, I say let's dance!”

Sari watched with wide eyes as he pulled out a taser, flicked it on, then ran out the house. Quickly pushing aside the shock, Sari rushed after him, with Dot and Alex right behind her.

“Scholder, I said before that the barn is a no go zone. Tones of unfinished weaponry with bugs and glitches… Please don't go in.”

She practically begged the last part. But that didn't stop him. He pushed open the barn door and Sari was considering several options. Most of them would either get her arrested or a stern talking to from Optimus. Then Jon whistled and turned off the taser. Then Sari looked into the barn and remembered that they were looking for a buggy, not a camaro.

“The X- limited edition, custom paint, turbo ejection, seats that shift to cradle your buttocks. Yeah, I'm going to have to commandeer your vehicle for my mission.”

“Ah- you can't just commandeer my car! It’s- uhh- pet project, still working on it. Not safe for general use!”

“Not a problem. You’ll drive.”

“Wait, what?”

“That frees Ranger Malto up for her GHOST training.”

“Yippee.”

“This will give you access to the elevator at the Ranger station. Orientation is on level five. Better study hard. There's a test, a tough test. It's called… life.”

Oh my god, he's an idiot.

As Dot was handed the keycard, he rushed to the passenger seat and made himself comfortable.

“Let's roll. Ah, cushy on my tushy.”

Sari wont say that she understood exactly what Bee was saying with the honking and engine revving. But she understood the gist of it. She leaned down by the hood of the car and hoped that Scholder wouldn't notice.

“Is now a good time to mention that I never learned how to drive.”

Her response was a series of panicked honks.

-

Their only saving grace was that Scholder was an idiot. And too enamored with the ‘car’ itself to truly notice that it really was just driving itself. Sari held only really white-knuckled the steering wheel and hoped to pass the natural steering of the wheel as her own. The gear shift went untouched and her feet never touched the breaks or gas. Truly, only an idiot would think that she was actually driving the car. This painful charade only came to a halt once Scholder had them park outside a store in the middle of town. Sari didn't even bother to look at which store Scholder wanted to go to. The moment he was out of Bee, she slammed her head against the wheel.

“What do you mean you never learned how to drive?!”

Bee yelled, his voice coming through the dash.

“I mean that most of my family are sentient cars, and I can fly, name one reason why I would learn how to drive.”

“Well for starters- He is not bringing a powdered sugar donut in here.”

Sure enough, in the middle of Bee’s sentence Scholder had come out of the store. With a very powdered donut in hand.

“Picked up intel and snacks. Multitasking at its best.”

Scholder had tried to open the door, only for it to be locked. One more attempt to open the door and he was honked at.

“I told you that the car still had some problems. How about you finish your snack outside while I fix it.”

Sari offered, desperately trying to offer a solution.

“Ah. Not a problem. I'll just give it the old Poughkeepsie tickle.”

“I’m sorry, the what?”

He then placed the donut directly on top of the hood, and prepared to try and hit the door with his hip. Only for Bee to hit him with his door and send him flying to the ground.

“Pfft-”

“Hehe, Tickle that.”

-

Despite having grown up around the Autobots, Sari will never understand some people’s obsession with sports cars. Because that same obsession is the only way to properly explain why Scholder was still willing to ride in what seemed like a glitchy, semi-broken car. Scholder had dragged them all over town, eventually leading them to be driving down a mountain road. No one talked. Scholder was too focused on his ‘mission’, Bee couldn't without blowing his cover, and Sari was too stressed out to really say anything. And then the phone rang.

“Oh, pull over here.”

Sari could tell that Bee was at his limit because he just pulled to the road and slammed the breaks. Forcing the two people inside to practically be thrown against their seatbelts. It didn't take long for Scholder to collect himself.

“Classified call. Out.”

And now, Sari’s had enough of him as well.

“Classified?- You listen here! You're not the only one here who works for ghost, and this isn't even your car! If you want privacy, you step out!”

She was practically yelling in his face at this point. His phone still ringing. He collected himself once more and answered the phone, not leaving the car.

“This is uh- Schloder. Report.”

“Sir, we have two Cons in custody at HQ. One matches the description of the perpetrator-- small stature, Cybertronian drone alt mode.”

She could hear the women on the other end of the call clearly. And if Sari was white-knuckling the steering wheel before, she’s probably left an indent with how hard she’s gripping it now.

“Hold them there. I'll be--”

He couldn't finish that sentence. As Bee had literally blasted him with heated air from the ac. That must have been the final straw as Scholder finally rushed out of the car. And the moment that he was out, Bee had already begun trying to call and warn Optimus.

“Ugh! Charles Dickens, this car has issues. Yeah, all right. I'm on my way. You're off the hook. I need a more dependable ride. My quarry awaits.”

He walked into the middle of the road with full confidence, stopped the next car that passed them, and got in.

-

It seemed that everyone got back to the house at the same time. Optimus had tried to greet them.

“Bumblebee, Sari. I heard you drove with agent Scholder today.”

A resounding groan came from the two. The kids were shocked at their reaction, Optimus and Dot looked sympathetic.

“I think I have crumbs in my engine.”

Bee said, disgust clear in his voice.

“If I never talk to him again, it’ll still be too soon.”