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Considering she wasn’t a mage, Rikku was thinking hard about magic. The way it worked, the skills. The spells. It was a different kind of faith, she decided.
Her own faith was in mechanics. She could pull apart and fix machina; she could combine items to create explosions and shields and punch a hole in an enemy. But she couldn’t form fire out of thin air, or freeze an enemy solid.
That took a different kind of faith –a faith of natural elements– and one’s relationship to them.
“You should learn some spells too, Rikku.”
Rikku chewed her bottom lip. It would be cool, she had to admit. To summon balls of fire, or to wrench water out of the air – she’d always have a drink, then.
She was hesitant about lightning, though.
The Calm Lands sprawled out around them. Cool winds blew down from Mount Gagazet, chilling the air and turning the sunny day uninviting. The landscape was heavily scarred from past battles with Sin, great gouges tearing ochre canyons and valleys in a once-beautiful grassy plateau. In the distance, low-set clouds scudded across the icy blue sky, obscuring Spira far below.
Here, in the Calm Lands, they were on the edge of civilization. Nothing else lived beyond this point besides the Ronso on their unforgiving mountain. The last bastions of humanity here were the Al Bhed who ran the inn, and a handful of chocobo wranglers. One of her people had left a message at the inn saying Cid had taken the airship for repairs after their little stunt in Bevelle.
She could just picture her old man’s manic grin from the thrill of rocketing down towards the stuffy Yevonites in forbidden machina.
She came by her love of machina honestly.
A chilly breeze rifled through her twin braids, flicking the feathers on the ends over her shoulders. Rikku shivered, rubbing her bulky leather gloves together. Her thin outfit was designed for the heat of the desert, not an icy mountain. Breathable orange material hugged her torso, the better to sit flat under the heavy wetsuits she wore while diving. Green pants sat high on her legs and gave her plenty of mobility; she was fast, striking quickly with deft hands to take what she needed.
Rikku was many things; cheerful, free-diver, thief, Al Bhed, and also cold.
Maybe she should learn some fire spells, just in case. It would help the party to have another mage, and more if she could light fires or keep them warm.
The only black mage they had was Lulu; a fiercely protective woman with the weight of three pilgrimages on her shoulders. She bore the brunt of their need for black magic, casting until she couldn’t anymore at times.
Rikku admired Lulu. Yuna called her a big sister, but to Rikku, she was immaculately poised and professional – for all her dress made of belts and her glittering red eyes. Lulu stood aloof, hidden behind her painted lips and aura of danger, and, despite the mage’s overtures of compassion, it was hard to view her as a friend. She always seemed so much older than she looked.
She hunched over, holding her hands close to her chest. It wouldn’t be so bad to ask! Lulu had already mentioned once that she should learn spells. That was sort of a promise to teach her, right?
Tidus would have bounded up and asked, heedless of propriety. Her friend-brother was never one to mince words, stating how he felt at any given time, trouncing centuries-old traditions in blistering ignorance.
Rikku kind of liked that about him. Who else but an outsider would ignore the teachings, or ask her to learn Al Bhed? Tidus had been kind to her from the beginning, and that alone had been enough to sway her to join Yuna’s pilgrimage.
There were other factors, of course, but he’d stood up for her, and she wouldn’t forget that.
Maybe she could trade more Al Bhed lessons for Tidus to teach her the weird way he moved. Sometimes, he moved even quicker than she could, like his muscles powered him into his next attack before he’d even finished the first one.
If RIkku could move like that, she’d be able to steal everything in the world.
It all led to the same thing. Learning. The pursuit of new skills. Rikku had left Home in order to grow as a person. She couldn’t live in her father’s shadow all the time; it wasn’t the Al Bhed way. They would succeed on their own terms, playing by their own rules.
Her brother had learned a couple of spells in his early years. ‘Furthering his education’ as he’d put it.
Bzzzzzzzzzt.
Rikku shuddered, feeling again the hot-crackle-heat, white hot, burning her whole body from head to toe in one, neverending moment of agony.
His plan had been simple: zap the water fiend and take it down before it could hurt his sister. Only he’d missed, and Rikku still had a couple of welt-scars on her legs from the charge, and a lifelong fear of thunder and lightning.
Maybe she could focus just on fire, or water. No lightning.
Hmm…
Rikku licked her lips, casting her gaze about the inn. The Al Bhed shop was colourful, formed of wood and a circular steel frame, with dyed canvas forming a tent above and held down by recycled pylons. The shopkeeper’s stall showed the Spiran letters for Shop, keeping it simple in the face of likely Yevon-following patrons. Fences contained the backside and curled around the sides like the claws of a crab, protecting the inn from fiend attacks and outside attention.
They might be more inclined to get that now. Rikku couldn’t help herself glancing in the direction of the road they’d taken in. She’d always technically been a traitor to Yevon, but now?
Yuna was too, and so were her guardians.
Scoffing, Rikku tossed her head, sending her braids back over her shoulder. Whatever. They’d protect Yuna from anyone who came after her – that was a guardian’s duty. And all the more reason to learn magic.
Rikku was a guardian. An uncommon pastime for one of her people, but hey – she’d wanted to do something the rest of her family hadn’t done. Why not violate the sanctity of Yevon’s religion while she was at it?
She thought now that perhaps the others in the party had lost faith in Yevon too. Before, it had been only her and Tidus, and to an unknown extent, Auron. The others had followed the teachings and lived their lives according to Yevon’s rules.
Now they were adrift.
Rikku chewed her bottom lip, wondering if now was a bad time to approach Lulu for lessons. Would the mage be interested in teaching a heretic, on the heels of their great transgressions? Or would she welcome the distraction, a chance to take her mind off weighty matters?
There really was only one way to find out.
Rikku shielded her eyes and peered around for the mage’s distinctive silhouette. It was like looking for a charcoal smear on a piece of machina, a dark stain on a colourful paint job.
Maybe it was mean of her to describe Lulu like a stain. She wasn’t. At all. She was elegant and sharp, if melancholic at times.
She caught sight of Lulu in the distance, staring out towards the thin gouge cut into the cliffs – the beginning of the end of the road: Mount Gagazet.
Lulu’s black braids blew out behind her in the chilly breeze, the only motion in a still, contemplative mood. She clutched a doll in one arm; her focus, a tool to channel her magics to higher spells.
Rikku sucked in a breath and skipped over to where she was. “Hey, Lulu! You, uhh… mind if I join you? I had a question…” She linked her fingers behind her back and plastered a smile on her face.
Tilting her head, Lulu raised a thin, plucked brow and looked at Rikku through one eye. The other was obscured by her fringe, hiding half of her expression. “Rikku. Is everything alright?” She swept a hand to gesture Rikku over.
“Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking…” Rikku checked over the landscape, watching for fiends and noting the bits of machina buried in the dirt. Old defenses, or leftovers from the war. “Remember how you mentioned I should learn some spells? I uhh… kind of want to. Learn from you. If that’s okay?” She looked up at Lulu, hopeful.
For a moment, Lulu remained silent. Despite how abruptly the question had been posed, she considered it with her full attention. “It may not be a simple task. Are you willing to put in the work to learn properly?” She didn’t point out that they were almost to Zanarkand, and the use for magic would be almost non-existent once Yuna finished her pilgrimage.
That wasn’t as fun. She’d been hoping it wasn’t too hard to learn. Nonetheless, she lifted her chin and nodded sharply. “Yes. If we have more fire on Mount Gagazet, it should be better, right? And then we have more magic to fight fiends with.” Rikku lifted a shoulder and gestured to the claw pulled back on her right arm. The silver, sharp-edged weapon usually sat over her knuckles, and retracted into a sheath to prevent it stabbing herself. “Sometimes, my attacks aren’t strong enough. Magic would help, wouldn’t it?”
Should she remind Lulu about their conversation in the inn a week ago?
Lulu studied her intently, and then her expression smoothed over. “Yes, it would. I’ll teach you the basics.”
Rikku perked up, clasping her hands in front of her. “You will? Thanks, Lulu!” She hadn’t even had to beg! Lulu was the best. “So! How do we start?” She whipped her head from side to side, looking for targets.
A chuckle snuck its way out of Lulu, and she beckoned Rikku closer. “First, you have to consider the element itself. Your thoughts and feelings will feed your spells, but you need to learn how to draw on your mana.” Lulu held out a hand. “To focus on fire, think of things that remind you of it, and imagine drawing it from your veins.”
“Do I even have mana?” Rikku held out a hand and tried to imagine a fire appearing. How did you draw on something like that? Was it like blood?
“Everyone does.” Lulu dropped her hand, giving Rikku her attention. “Your reservoir might be small to start with, but it will grow the more you use it. Think of it as a sort of muscle; everyone has it, though it is only called upon when needed.”
Hmm… Rikku took her glove off so she could see her bare hands. What reminded her of fire?
Home.
She flinched, sucking in a breath. The fires of exploding machina, gunshots, the screams of her dying kin. Her hands flew up to her ears, as if she could block her memories.
Warm hands wrapped around her wrists and tugged them away from her ears. “You’re here, Rikku. Think of yourself. You’re in the Calm Lands. The wind is chilly. Listen to me talk.”
Rikku shook herself off, raising her head to stare into Lulu’s face. It was okay. “You’re right. Sorry, I was thinking about…” Her heart weighed in her chest, aching.
“I know.” Lulu squeezed her hands, warming them between hands that called fire. “You are allowed to grieve, Rikku. You have lost a lot. No one here will judge you for needing time.”
Tears pricked her eyes, and Rikku raised an arm to wipe them away, sniffing. She wasn’t going to cry and look like a dumb kid. “I’ll be alright.” She didn’t want to give up learning magic just because she missed her Home and the friends who’d died.
“I know. That doesn’t mean you can’t cry,” Lulu said quietly. There was a sad awareness in the words, like it struck a chord. She lifted her hand and her fingers shimmered. Water collected in a wobbly ball, held in place above her palm by her will. “Here. Wipe your eyes.”
Rikku sniffled. “Huh,” she said thickly, reaching out to splash her face. “Can’t say I’ve ever washed my face like that before.” Magic had its uses. Once she was done, she slapped her cheeks and clenched her fists. “I’m ready to try again. Concentrate on what it feels like to me, right?”
Fire. The first element. Rikku stared at her palm.
“It helps to think about times of strong emotion,” Lulu continued to explain. “A time of need or distress can often trigger someone’s mana to form spells, or a time of great delight.”
Rikku grabbed for memories of all she’d been through. So much in a short time. The destruction of Home, the disgust at Seymour’s machinations – he’d kissed Yuna.
And more. There was the whole damn pilgrimage. Her anger churned and boiled at the end result: summoners throwing their lives away. It tied to the death of her mother, Yuna’s mother and father, Sin and Yevon and all of it rising and burning and vicious-–
Fire burst from her fingertips, sparked from the force of her anger and rage given form. A small flame, twisting about her fingers, hot, but not hurting.
“I did it!” Excitement bubbled up, washing away her rage as quickly as it had sparked it.
The flame didn’t last long, sputtering out when her anger passed. But it was something! Rikku looked up and beamed at Lulu. “Did you see? I did it!” She danced around, wiggling her fingers where the flame had been.
“Well done.” Lulu’s painted lips tilted up. “From there, we build that feeling into a spell. Concentrate on the feeling first,” she instructed, holding up her hand, palm up. A neat, controlled fire sprang into being between her fingers. “Then imagine feeding that feeling. Draw in the heat, the sun, the burning beneath your skin. Channel it to your hand, and then bind it to your will.”
Her flame grew bigger, rising up like a pillar of fire, reds and oranges and a core of white.
“Whoa…” Rikku watched, her mouth hanging open. “Are you angry all the time?”
Lulu’s head snapped to Rikku. “No.” Her flame went out, and she turned to face Rikku directly. “You must be very careful with your emotions. It is one thing to draw your feelings into a spell; another to use anger.” Her visible eye fixed on Rikku. “Never use anger, or your spells will negatively affect you. The backlash of anger is dangerous – Rikku, do not follow that path.”
Rikku’s shoulders slumped. “Okay,” she said, voice small. She’d done it though! Summoned a small spark to her hand! “No angry memories.” She thought she understood.
The power had felt angry, drawing on things she didn’t want to dwell on. It could tempt her to do horrible things. She thought that was what Lulu was warning her about.
Reaching out, Lulu put a hand on her shoulder. “You did very well for your first attempt. I failed to warn you about using anger, therefore it is my fault. Would you try again? Perhaps try to focus on good memories this time; memories that are warm, like sitting around the campfire.”
Rikku sucked in a breath and nodded. Lulu was teaching her, and she’d learned a lesson. No using anger.
So… It was okay to look back on the memories of Home. Playing with machina, feeling the hot metal under her bare fingers when it sprung to life, sparks flying from a faulty wire.
The heat of the desert, beating down on her head, even under her protective layers of clothing. The blistering sun reflecting off the hot sand, searing metal into branding irons.
Rikku was a daughter of the desert; its heat was in her always, and in all the Al Bhed who’d called it Home.
She imagined it all, remembered, and her palm grew hot. Concentrating, Rikku drew that heat through her arm, from her heart all the way to her fingers, and lit a flame like the one she carried within her.
“There. Well done.” Lulu smiled, a light rising to her eyes. It brightened her face from the shadows weighing her down.
She liked the idea of paying her back, even in this small way. “It’s all thanks to you,” Rikku chirped, letting the flame fade. “I owe you one, Lulu!”
The mage raised her brow again. “Oh? Are you done so soon? I thought you wanted to learn magic, not a single trick.”
Rikku stopped, a thrill rising once more. “You’re right. We still have two elements to learn.”
Lulu smirked. “I think you meant three.”
“Nu-uh. I hate lightning!” Rikku screeched, throwing her arms up. “Let’s do water next, so I can make drinks!”
“We’ll leave lightning until last, then.” Lulu wouldn’t be swayed. She was as implacable as the mountain sometimes. “Still, you’ve barely touched on fire. Why don’t you concentrate on holding the flame next? After that, you can try throwing it in a proper spell.”
Rikku grinned and rubbed her hot hands together. Maybe someday down the line she’d show Brother just how it felt to get zapped.
“So if fire is warm, what emotions do you think of with water?” Was it always emotions? Or would she eventually learn to simply summon it without thinking, in the same graceful way Lulu did? It was hard to think of other things while she had desert-heat in her veins, and a fire dancing on her fingers.
Lulu’s gaze drifted briefly to the road leading out of the Calm Lands, and then back to Rikku. “Water can be many things. It is never set, always shifting.” Her tone was soft, with an ache underneath. “Like water, emotions are always shifting. Sometimes, they are lost… And sometimes, we cannot forget.” The words were almost a whisper.
Lulu was hurting too, in a different way. They were all hurting.
Rikku shuffled closer. “Well… Maybe that’s true. I think that…” She trailed off, chewing her lip. She didn’t want to sound silly. “Our memories make us who we are. The good and the bad ones. It’s okay to shift and change. Otherwise we wouldn’t grow…right?”
For a moment, Lulu’s face didn’t change. And then a small, genuine smile rose to her lips. “You’re right, Rikku. Thank you.” There was acceptance in her eye. “And it is…my pleasure to teach you. I am flattered you asked.”
Rikku scrutinised her, taking in her body language, before bounding forward to give Lulu a hug. It was a brief squeeze, before she stepped back. “Thank you for teaching me. I’ll do my best to learn.”
Lulu seemed caught off guard only for a moment, then her arms came around Rikku’s shoulders in return. “Of course.”
For a moment, they basked in the warmth of new memories. “Now, practice summoning a flame again, and concentrate on keeping it there. Let’s see if you can throw it next,” Lulu instructed, continuing the lesson with a smile.
Rikku grinned, and a flame burst into life across her fingers.