Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sometimes, Barney wondered how it had come to this. He had adored Clint from the moment he'd found out he was going to be a big brother at the tender age of three, only a couple of months before Clint had been born. Their mother had hidden it for as long as she could—not maliciously, but to keep from having to explain a miscarriage to a three year old if something had gone wrong. Looking back from his adult perspective, he recognized that his father had already been beating her, but he hadn't known it then. The moment he'd laid eyes on the tiny baby his brother had been, he'd promised to be the best big brother, and take care of his baby brother.

He couldn't help but feel like he'd failed to keep that promise.

Being in traction gave him a lot of time to think, to wonder where he'd first gone wrong, how he could have taken better care of his little brother. He couldn't decide.

Maybe they should have stuck it out with Carson longer. The circus had been operating on bare-bones by the time they left, and Barney had been worried that Trickshot would forget in his envy that Clint was the golden goose keeping the circus going. He'd been constantly worried the elder archer would give his brother more than a couple bruises next time Clint got mouthy over the jobs that were actually keeping food in their mouths. Clint had been a mouthy teen, and Barney had despaired of keeping him safe with Carson, and had taken the first way out he could see that wouldn't put them back on the streets and starving. If only he'd listened to certain proverbs about frying pans and fires. But he'd only been seventeen, and terrified of Trick, where Clint didn't seem to know the meaning of the word fear. He'd trusted Barney to protect him back then.

Or maybe it was even further back, and they shouldn't have run away from foster care. Looking back now, Barney knew that the thing to do would have been to report the foster father's brother, but back then he'd been not even a teenager yet, and he'd been thoroughly convinced that if he didn't either give the man every painful thing he wanted or get the two of them out of there, he'd hurt Clint as much as he'd hurt Barney himself. Now, he wanted to say that he could have handled it if it meant keeping Clint safe, that Clint would have been able to handle anything that had happened and come out stronger on the other side like he always did. But it hadn't seemed that way back when he was a kid.

Looking at Clint now, though, Barney couldn't help but think he'd failed miserably.

His baby brother was looking at him with a cold, assessing gaze that seemed wrong in blue eyes that he remembered as always laughing. But at least he was here. And damn, it was good to see him. At least he could see -beyond the photos that Coulson had brought him as proof of life and contact when Clint had refused to come in that first time- that his brother really was healed and healthy, if a little thin. He was clutching his extra large coffee cup as though his life might just depend on how caffeinated he was, and if Barney wasn't in such bad shape, that thought might just be funny.

“You're here,” Barney said softly when Clint continued to just stare. Clint shrugged slightly.

“I'm here,” he agreed neutrally. 

“It's good to see you.” Clint sighed heavily. 

“You too,” he agreed, finally moving to sit on the little couch by the window. He drew his feet up onto the seat next to him and rested his chin on his knees, arms wrapped loosely around his shins. He looked relaxed, until you met his eyes. There was a wildness to his gaze, a suggestion that if he felt trapped, whatever was between him and freedom would not enjoy being there. Clint was riding a fine line between civility and going feral, and what was more, Barney got the impression that he was aware of it, and just couldn't be bothered to care. “Laura said you're gonna be laid up for a while.” Barney sighed at the reminder.

“Yeah.”

“How long's all this gonna stick around?” Clint waved a hand vaguely towards the traction hardware. Barney snorted.

“Dunno. Took more x rays yesterday. Surgeon's supposed to review it and decide if he's satisfied with how it's healing. Might do more surgery.” Clint just nodded, which was good because Barney hadn't followed the discussion enough to remember much else. Clint was lucky he got here near time for his next meds, because otherwise he wouldn't be getting information of any relevance. Clint's eyes scanned over Barney's face again critically, and he stood to lean in to study Barney's expression more closely. 

“You're in pain.”

“They should be in with more meds soon.” Clint met his eyes for a second, nodded, and turned sharply to walk out the door. Barney tried not to let himself be disappointed. After all, it was the first time he'd seen his little brother in fifteen years. That was a good thing, it was progress. Even if his leaving hurt.

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He quickly found out where Clint had gone. When Laura brought Lila and Cooper to visit, they were full of chatter about their awesome new uncle. Apparently the distance between the two brothers hadn't translated to tension with the kids, and Barney was grateful for it. Kids deserved for the people in their life to be willing to give them the world, and from what they said, it looked like Clint was on board with that. They were chattering about milkshakes and archery lessons, and looked thoroughly distracted from worrying over their dad. Laura leaned in to give him a gentle kiss, smiling tearily.

“You never told me how amazing your brother is.” Barney tried to shrug, stopping with a hiss.

“Haven't seen him since he was a kid,” he reminded her. “Any particular reason you're currently saying he's amazing?” He stopped and blinked at her. “And for that matter, how are you here?” Not that he didn't want to see her and the kids, but she should be at the motel. With him out of action, she was the only manager.

“Clint's taken over. Kicked me out of the office, said a wife's place is at her husband's side.” Barney chuckled softly. It was the kind of thing their mom had said often, which was bittersweet for him. He hadn't even been sure Clint remembered their parents, he'd been so young when they died. And the fact that she'd been saying it to people trying to separate her from an abusive man wasn't really encouraging, but Barney was pretty sure Clint hadn't understood that.

“Here's hoping I'm a husband who deserves a wife's devotion, at least some of the time.” Their father hadn't been, but that was beside the point. That devotion to their chosen partner was one thing that Barney was sure had settled just as deeply in Clint as it had in him, whether Clint remembered it or not. Mom had made a bad choice in partners, but she'd been devoted. 

“Of course you are, baby.”

“Mr and Mrs Barton.” They both looked up at the voice from near the doorway. At this point the doctor didn't need to introduce himself, but he had a certain spring to his step that he hadn't had before this. “Mr Barton, you are aware your brother came to speak with us, right?”

“I knew he was here. Makes sense he would want to speak with my doctor.”

“HIPAA regulations of course prevented me from talking about your treatment with him.” Barney nodded. “But he was very firm that he would be covering any parts of your treatment not covered by your insurance. Something about having a niche occupation?” He shook his head, obviously unconcerned with the particulars of Clint's employment. Probably a good thing, as Clint only really had one skillset. He was the best at what he did, and what he did best wasn't very nice, as a man Barney had worked with a couple of times said. “He's already filled out the paperwork, so you shouldn't be getting any bills. His only instruction was to recommend the course of treatment that was most likely to get you back as close to 100% as you can get.” He snorted. “As if I would do anything else.”

“Didn't I say he's amazing?” Laura murmured, obviously trying not to cry.

“I need the paperwork,” Barney told the doctor with a sigh.

“Sorry?”

“Well, if he's going to pay for my treatment, you should be able to talk to him about it.”

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Barney was surprised to see Clint again two days later. He'd honestly not expected to see him again at least until he was well enough to go home. He reached out and patted Barney's good leg, which was the only part of him that was reachable between the traction and Laura and the kids crowding around his head to talk to him. 

“Hey Clint.” Clint waved vaguely at him, and then reached out to tap Laura's arm. 

“Wake me up before you leave.” Laura nodded, and Clint collapsed in the chair on the other side of the room, passing out instantly. 

“Is he okay?” Laura asked, sounding concerned. Barney just shrugged.

“I'm assuming he came straight here off of a job. Then he's got the motel to get used to, and driving between here and there, and who knows what else he's got going on. It'll settle out. He'll be fine.” Because that was the one thing that had always been true. No matter what happened, Clint was always fine. “At least he trusts us enough to sleep in here.” Laura just nodded. She'd been an agent too, before she got pregnant and they moved into semi-retirement at the motel. She knew how it got going from mission to mission, never really resting. It became hard to trust anyone not on your team, and when you didn't have a team, well....

It was easy to burn out that way, without anyone to have your back, or anywhere to call home. Barney had hoped he'd be able to bring Clint home, when he'd started with SHIELD, give his brother the sense of welcome that everyone needed, but all his efforts had been in vain. Until now. Yeah, the accident and his injuries sucked. But it had brought his brother back to him.

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“Look, Coulson. I'll do whatever you want. Give you all the information I have. Work for your organization. There's just one thing I want.” Barney met Phil Coulson's professional smile with all the seriousness he could muster.

“And what is that?” Barney had to hand it to the guy's self control. He knew that everyone wanted to know why he'd come to SHIELD, but the man was playing it cool. Barely even interest in his voice, much less the curiosity that Barney knew was eating at everyone.

“I need you to find my baby brother. Make sure he's safe.” And he had the pleasure of seeing the genuine surprise break through the man's impassive facade. “I can't find him and keep both of us safe by myself.”

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“I'm sorry Barton. He doesn't want anything to do with SHIELD.” Phil paused pointedly. “He doesn't want anything to do with you. I've tried.”

“I know, Coulson. But you found him, and he's keeping himself safe at least. And doing good?” Phil nodded.

“Most of the jobs he's taking, we put out. Things we don't have the manpower or can't be tied to.” Barney smiled ruefully. “Honestly, we don't have any agents willing to work as much as your brother. I wish he would come in.” Phil clapped his hand on Barney's shoulder comfortingly. “I'm not giving up. But I think you need to be realistic. This is going to take years, not weeks or months.”

“That you're not giving up is more than I can honestly ask. Thank you, Phil.” Phil just nodded, never one for an emotional response.

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Clint came back into Barney's room smirking like the cat that got the canary, and an entire jug of cream to boot. It had seemed strange that he'd come and asked to be woken up when Laura left, and he'd left with Laura rather than staying to talk to his brother. He should have known Clint had something planned. Clint always had something up his sleeve.

“Got your lady tucked up nice here in town, pretty little house with a nice yard for the kids.” Barney's jaw dropped as he stared at his brother, and Clint's smirk widened even further. When Barney didn't say anything, he sobered. “Look, bro, counting traffic and everything, it's two hours to get here from the motel. It's not fair to Laura and the kids to have them driving four hours every day to see you. It's not going to work with their school schedules. And it's not fair to leave you here alone. And I've already made the arrangements, from here you're going to a rehab center to get you walking again, if you sign off on it of course. All you gotta do is sign. You could go straight home, but the odds aren't good that you'll walk again if you do. The doctor told me more than he realized when I talked to him.” He stared seriously back at Barney, who was still staring at him. 

“Why?” Clint frowned.

“Why what?”

“You refuse to see me for ten years, and then you just show up and... just take care of everything? Why Clint? I don't understand.” Clint sighed and threw himself into the chair next to Barney's head, looking away.

“Look, I've had fifteen years to realize there were a lot of things you could have done if you really wanted me dead that you didn't. You got me out. I wasn't even really hurt, other than the concussion.” He swallowed hard enough for Barney to hear it. “But that doesn't mean it didn't fuck with me, Barn. I know you were trying to fix things, protect me again, but I couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle any more of you taking care of me. But you need help, and Laura needs help, and those kids need taking care of. And I can help with that. I can do that.” He sighed heavily, still not looking in the direction of the bed. “I don't know if I'll ever be able to let myself depend on you again, Barn, but I'm here now. The kids know me now.” And when he looked up to meet Barney's eyes, he knew that the kids were the reason that Clint would never be able to disappear completely ever again. He would have no problem walking out on Barney or Laura, but the kids were important to him in a way that Barney didn't quite understand. Clint stood just as suddenly as he'd sat, reaching out to pat Barney's shoulder awkwardly. “Get some rest, Barn. I'll be around.”

--------------------

And he was. Around that is. He never stayed long, and looked distinctly uncomfortable when he visited, but he made it up to the hospital about once a week, chatted awkwardly for a couple of minutes, and then made off with the kids for the afternoon to give Laura and Barney some time alone. It was amazingly considerate of him considering their upbringing. Proof that his brother was still an amazingly kind and gentle person. Even with his profession.

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“Well, I might have to take back a statement I made about your brother.” Phil held up a hand to stop Barney's automatic panicked response. “I'm still not giving up on him. Promise, Barton. But James is giving him a run for his money on the work ethic thing.” 

“James?” 

“The Winter Soldier. Widow brought him in.” Phil shook his head, dropping gracefully in the chair across the desk that Barney rarely used. “He's got enough issues to make Clint's look mild. But he's determined to eliminate HYDRA. And he sees us as the best route to help with that. But he's made it clear that if we bench him for any reason, he's gone.”

“And Widow's the one Clint sent to us, right? Natasha?” Phil nodded.

“Yeah. She wasn't happy being a solo agent, and she needed the protection from whomever trained her. She's been pretty closed-mouthed about it. We know they were Russian, and she's pretty sure she and Clint took them off the field before she came in. But they were connected to HYDRA, and apparently she saw an opportunity to rescue someone else she knew was being used against their will. I think she was hoping they could team up, but he zones out to the point that he can't tell friend from foe. He's too much of a danger to work on a team, but he doesn't really need one.” There was awe in his voice when he spoke again. “The man's a machine. Takes down entire bases by himself with just a cleanup team. And he's Sergeant James Barnes?” Ah, the awe in his voice was explained then. Phil Coulson was such a Captain America and the Howling Commandos fanboy. It was adorable really, the one thing he got really passionate about. Barney wondered if Phil's new agent had noticed it yet.

“Speaking of the Howlies, any luck on finding Captain America yet?” Phil sighed.

“Not yet. But we have to be getting close. There's just not a whole lot of area left that we haven't searched.” Barney nodded. Phil kept up to date on the search for the captain with a single-mindedness that he otherwise only dedicated to running missions. Well, and any and all news about the surviving Howling Commandos. The man was a little obsessed. 

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“Hey, Barney, can I ask a favor?” Barney looked up at his brother, who was watching him from the corner of his eye. Clint was biting his lip, clearly uncertain about starting this conversation. Well, that was pretty typical for when his brother wanted something from him, actually. He could remember Clint doing this so many times when they were teenagers, any time he wanted something but wasn't sure how Barney would react to it.

“Don't know what I can do for you from here, but sure.” Clint smiled slightly. 

“That storage attic in the main building. Nobody uses it. I've checked, there's nothing up there but a dust bunny colony.” He paused pointedly. 

“And?”

“I was wondering if you'd mind if I converted it to a little apartment. I just- It's too weird living in your house, man.” Clint bit his lip again, looking away. “I've been staying in an empty room,” he revealed. “I just-”

“Go ahead, Clint. I like the thought of you having your own space at the motel.” Maybe now that contact had been made, he wouldn't be such a stranger. It would be good for him to know he had a home base. And it would be good for Barney to know that Clint would retreat to him if he needed to. Clint gave him a look like he could see right through every thought in his head, but eventually nodded.

“Okay. Thanks, Barn.”

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The renovations were pretty straightforward, at least as far as Barney could tell, and it wasn't much longer than a month before Clint was officially moving into his new home. He seemed pretty content with it when he reported to Barney that it was finished, and Barney was going to take the win where he could. Plus Barney was finally healed enough to be let off the traction, so he was in a really good mood. It was nice to be able to move again. 

The next time Clint came to visit, Barney was relaxed and smiling -and lying on his side ! - watching people out his window. It wasn't the best view, but he could see it! He rather thought that it wouldn't be getting old any time soon. Clint reacted to his good mood by relaxing, sitting and chatting far longer than he would normally be comfortable with. Long enough that by the time Laura arrived with the kids, Clint hadn't even retreated to the window like he normally did when he was starting to get uncomfortable but didn't want to leave yet. Even after he left, Barney couldn't suppress his smile. Things were getting better.

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"The Winter Soldier's staying with us!" Clint exclaimed, almost bouncing as he approached Barney, who suppressed a sigh. It figured that Coulson had finally arranged for Barnes to work in his area so he could meet him and he was stuck in rehab. Though, judging by the clear excitement his brother was showing, maybe it was a good thing. He hadn't ever seen Clint this happy since they were kids.

He listened indulgently as Clint chattered on about how amazing the Winter Soldier was, finally sounding something like the fifteen year old Barney remembered. It was nice, though he knew it wouldn't last. Clint had been through too much to go back to that innocent boy, no matter how much Barney wished otherwise.

God he sounds like a kid with a crush, Barney thought fondly.

"You talk to him? What's he like?" he asked during a lull and Clint froze.

"Talk to him? Why would I talk to him?" Barney raised an eyebrow.

"Because you obviously have a raging crush on him?" he teased gently. Clint flushed, deflating.

"You could have just said to change the subject," he muttered, looking away. "You don't have to make fun of me."

"Clint, I'm not making fun," Barney objected, hurt. "You never know until you try. And anyway, how often do you find someone you like that you wouldn't have to hide from? Someone in the same line of work would understand." Clint sighed.

"You'd think so," he said softly, but now he just sounded sad instead of defensive. "But it only ever ends with me getting my stupid heart broken." He sat in silence for a long moment before standing, clapping Barney's shoulder for a moment before walking away.

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As the weeks passed, it was obvious that Clint was becoming more and more enamored of the Winter Soldier. He always had something to say about the man, usually something he'd seen, but occasionally something he'd said or done directly to Clint.

"James kissed me," Clint said once, staring forlornly out the window.

"Why do you sound sad about that?" Barney asked, confused. Clint sighed.

"It's gonna hurt when he leaves." Barney couldn't tell if Clint even realized what he'd said.

"Clint-" Clint finally turned to look at his brother.

"You have no idea how lucky you are, finding Laura. You better appreciate her."

"I do. Believe me, I do."

"Good."

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Barney felt like he was about to have a heart attack when Ashley reported the incident. She was calm and composed as always as she went through the details of the attack, how Clint's first move had been to block the road out so that none of them could escape, how there had been an entire fucking convoy after one man, how Clint had taken out a helicopter with a bow and arrow.  

And how his brother and the Winter Soldier had been making out in front of Captain America and everybody. Apparently that was the thing that everyone from SHIELD was having difficulty understanding. Barney didn't see what the problem was. From what he'd heard James Barnes was strong, powerful, driven, but also kind, compassionate, and a little bit shy. It seemed like an obvious attraction to Barney. 

Maybe they were having a problem understanding what the Winter Soldier would see in Clint. If that was the case then Barney was offended on his brother's behalf, but he could kind of understand it. Clint had a big heart, but he'd learned to hide it so well that Barney could forgive strangers not seeing it.

When Clint came to visit him next, he brought James with him, and he seemed relaxed in a way that Barney hadn't ever seen from him before. Barney smiled at the wary look James shot him as Clint tugged him into the room.

"I hear they're gonna let you outta here soon."

"Can't happen soon enough," Barney agreed. "Hear I'm gonna have to rebuild my motel." James visibly winced at the prod, but Clint just grinned.

"Coulson's taking care of it," he declared, waving his hand as though the comment were smoke he could blow away. He settled into the chair next to Barney, still pulling James along with him. Barney held out a hand.

"Barney Barton," he introduced himself. 

"James Barnes." His hand was accepted, but not easily. James was visibly stiff and tense the entire time they were touching. Clint smiled warmly at him as they separated, and James smiled hesitantly back. It wasn't the easiest thing to draw James into conversation, but it wasn't really that difficult either, not for a natural showman like both Bartons were. 

"Hey Clint, could James and I have a moment?" Clint's eyes flicked to James, who gave a subtle nod, before he stood. 

"Alright," he agreed carelessly. "But just a minute." James' eyes followed him as he left the room before turning back to Barney.

"This where you tell me that if I break his heart you'll break my head?"

"Think he's got that covered on his own," Barney laughed, and James visibly relaxed.

"Then what?" Barney sobered.

"I know it might not seem like it, but he's always been a natural caregiver. Let him take care of you as much as you can stand it. It'll help him stay grounded. We hadn't spoken in more than fifteen years and he dropped everything to come take care of us when he heard I was hurt. It's just how he is." Slowly, James nodded.

"And I'll take care of him," he murmured, looking away from Barney, who snorted.

"I never doubted it."

"Why not?" Barney shrugged at James' sharp look.

"Not many people grow up in the business like Clint and I did. We tend to get a read on people fast. He wouldn't trust you if you were going to fuck him over."

"You think he trusts me?" Barney turned to meet his eyes seriously.

"I know he does." James looked like he didn't know how to respond to that. Clint came back in before either of them could say anything else. He wrapped around James from behind, resting his chin on the brunette's shoulder. Clint met Barney's eyes and smiled.