Chapter 1: Good Match
Summary:
Willow gives an excuse for Leon and Xander to hang out again, and probably brought popcorn.
Chapter Text
Leon’s actually not too surprised when, somewhere along the line, it’s suggested that he spar. What surprises him is the fact that, despite the distinct disappointment at the lack of entertainment, Willow insists, loudly, that at the moment he’s a guest and he can show off on one of his other visits because honestly it’ll take a lot to get all of the new suggestions up and running and he’d want to keep an eye on the progress, of course he would, they’re his suggestions. Clearly, the ‘scary redhead’ is used to getting her way.
And then, the second time he shows up, this time in a t-shirt and an old set of sweatpants he’d previously worn to the gym, ready to be thrown against a Slayer…Xander had been there.
It looked like they had the same thoughts, because he’d been wearing an outfit Leon recognized, too, practical and easy to move in. Not that the leather wasn’t a good look for him; it was. But apparently they’d both wanted to be comfortable and both were feeling sentimental.
“Surprise,” Xander had told him with a wolfish grin, and Leon shakes his head, amused, dropping into a ready stance.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” he asks, slightly cocky. Sure, he’s up against a more powerful opponent; he’s seen Redgrave fight. But that’s nothing new. Sure, he might have an edge thanks to the aftermath of the Las Plagas infection, but that’s all it is. An edge. Compared to the Lord Saddlers and Redgraves and demons and Tyrants and even the Krausers of the world, that’s barely anything at all. But sometimes, all you need is creativity, determination, and an edge.
“What’s the matter? You don’t have your gun or your knife, so you can’t shoot me or stab me, and there’s witches on hand to fix anything.” Leon has seen bluffs. He has even seen Xander bluff, the one time they’d tried to play cards. The man is nervous, but he’s trying so hard Kennedy will let him think he hasn’t noticed, for now.
A quiet moment of anticipation stretches and breaks, and then they move.
When it comes down to it, Leon does better than he has any right to do. He’s fully aware of this fact. A good part of it is that they’re employing the same tactics, both used to opponents who are stronger, faster, meaner. The issue here is that the tactic works more for Leon than it does Xander.
They’re more closely matched on strength than Leon thought, a fact that makes itself clear when they somehow end up on a spontaneous wrestling match on the padded floor and Xander smiles, sheepish but shy, up at him before throwing him (carefully) into one of the padded walls. Redgrave is certainly stronger, but Leon’s brief feeling of inadequacy watching the man fight disappears. He’s still a competent fighter, and this is reassuring. Maybe that’s why this was all organized, a better demonstration than the box-lifting.
The former police officer also realizes in that moment that he has it bad, because his brain is taking a moment to admire the industrial strength padding because he’s heard Xander talk passionately about building and architecture and knows, given the slightly haphazard way they’ve gone about the rest of this, that it wasn’t because of some governmental contractor or regulation, it was his—what is it, now, boyfriend? Partner?—saw a need, somewhere he could be helpful, and stepped in to fix it. He smoothly rolls and gets to his feet, trying not to show the goofy affection on his face. From the raised eyebrow, it didn’t really work, but it was worth a shot.
But even then, Xander’s just enough stronger to make a difference, and there’s how much further he can push himself. Leon’s had training to not follow his instincts, the ones that say ‘you’re hurt, choose flight’. It seems Xander, on the other hand, didn’t need that training. He doesn’t need to overcome instincts that tell him to avoid the pain. So he can have his elbow dislocated and not pause or even break a sweat.
On the other hand, it’s clear he’s had no formal training, despite the slightly breathtaking grace in the way he fights. It’s all self-taught, and he’s excellent as far as that goes, but he’s got some small openings Leon doesn’t hesitate to exploit and he’s looking forward to training Xander in that, too. Sure, he can heal if he leaves an opening and gets hit, but what if that’s just enough delay to put innocents at risk? And isn’t it better to just avoid getting hurt in the first place? Redgrave hadn’t needed to learn to avoid that, so he hadn’t, but if nothing else Leon’s pretty sure he can serve as a good motivation.
The tactics to use an enemy’s strengths against them backfire a little for Xander in the way they don’t for Leon, between the training specifically in that kind of fight and the fact that Redgrave is, in fact, stronger and faster. More than once Xander tries to use Kennedy’s momentum against him only to find, to his frustration, that the agent hasn’t quite built up as much momentum as he’d been expecting, so the attack is weaker than anticipated. If he’d been spending training time fighting Slayers and time in the field, no wonder. He’s not used to having to adapt to different strength levels because they’ve always been as strong or more powerful in different ways, not weaker, and from a comparison seems to be better at figuring out how to put himself in harm’s way as a shield or how to kill something than actually adapting strategies for fighting, which means if, say, human bigots ever came for him he’d be woefully unprepared.
He seems frustrated, but proud, which is good, because as it drags on Leon finds himself conserving more of his energy to keep going. While Redgrave is holding back a little, he was still throwing a little too much into the fight, showing the same burst of enthusiasm he had before that Leon now identifies as a weakness. Not enough to make that much of a difference, not in the short term, but he has to wonder how bad it got once he’d been ordered to leave, what shutting down a Hellgate or fighting through zombie hordes without chugging herbs would do. Even then, though, half-devils seem to have a lot of stamina. It becomes easier, Leon realizes, not to think about the dirty implications of that word when you’re weaving out of the way of a fist coming at your face.
Probably the biggest advantage Leon has, though, is that he’s not as conflicted. Xander seemed cocky and to be fair he had good reason to be, but more than anything he was fighting with himself as to whether or not he actually wanted to put his whole strength into it. He’s not hiding away enough of his strength that Leon’s too worried about being broken in half, but Redgrave still seems to be trying to convince himself of that fact. The faster reflexes don’t mean anything when the half-devil hesitates before elbowing Leon in the gut just long enough for Leon to deflect the attack. It’s not every time, and the blue-eyed beauty is definitely getting frustrated with himself, because it honestly seems to be a reflex, like the human reflex against pain. He’s getting in a few good hits, though, so the whole exercise doesn’t seem to be a complete waste of time, whatever the point of it all is.
And while it’s not as pronounced as it would be for your average human, the missing eye is a slight advantage for the agent. He gets in most of his good hits coming in from the blind side, and while he’s not sure about what test exactly is going on here, he refuses to fail it. Sure, maybe failing it was agreeing to fight in the first place, but he’s pretty sure it’s not that kind of mind game.
They’re both, Leon evaluates, used to using weapons. He doesn’t need to be told why they’re not; half-devil strength is dangerous enough without adding guns or swords. As guilty as he still slightly feels from the whole stabbing incident, he knows Xander would feel a lot worse about accidentally hurting Leon, which might, he realizes, be part of the point, here. The man had already started to look gloomy enough about the lucky hit on Leon’s cheek that will almost definitely bruise unless Willow heals it, despite the fact that Leon intends to wear it as a badge of honor. Fortunately, the lack of concentration had allowed Leon to break through his guard and land a blow on his boyfriend’s ribs that would bruise if Xander was fully human, which was apparently enough to distract him. On that front, they’ve both got a handicap.
They’re still putting on enough of a show to keep the Slayers entertained, apparently, although given some of the blushes he suspects the wrestling might have been part of that, but when it’s been almost half an hour he calls it. He’s starting to get thirsty and a little breathless.
“Good fight,” he tells Redgrave, holding out a hand to pull the half-human to his feet. It takes Xander a moment, and his hand is sweaty, but he allows himself to be pulled to his feet. Whatever had been bothering him is gone.
Chapter 2: A New Normal
Summary:
Xander explains the Scooby strength test.
Notes:
Original notes kept for archival reasons
either they changed how the lotro mailbox works or I am completely stupid but either way I lost over 500 items and am not a happy camper. I said uber boss was the definition of despair but I'm not sure. Comparing isn't really possible, given that this year went better on uber boss, though, so.
at least the fic is fun?
Buffy barely appears & Andrew is merely talked about but I thought I'd tag them anyway.
Warning: it's not in-depth, but there is a discussion of sex and a reference to Faith & several of Xander's other relationships. It's roundabout but it's not just an innuendo either so it's one of the few I'm confident on the rating. (I nearly wrote ranking. whoops)
Chapter Text
“Okay, show’s over! Get back to training,” Buffy insists, and as they walk out Xander grabs a towel from one of the racks, handing it to Leon, who wipes his face.
“You got a water fountain around here?” They head past a gym which honestly looks better than the governmental ones or the paid membership one he’d taken Xander to. At the time, he’d mostly been thinking he paid for it, so his friends deserved to get some use out of it, too, and maybe subconsciously in an effort to show off, but by the looks of things he was wasting his time. The Council clearly had its priorities—good ones, really, but they needed at minimum to make sure all the non-priorities worked without intervention, too.
“Better,” Xander tells him with a grin and leads him right into the next room. It’s not a kitchen, exactly, as it only has a microwave and a single-serve blender, no stove or any other cooking device, but the counters are covered in what Leon can only describe as an army of jerky and snack bars, and he can only imagine what the cabinets hold.
“Catch,” the man suggests and throws a thermos, which the agent, starting to shake a little from the workout, nearly drops. Nearly.
Xander pulls his own out and closes the refrigerator again.
“We were talking about logistics, and I thought Andrew was terrifying before, but man, give him a spreadsheet and the authority to feed the whole operation and I think we might be creating a Sith, giving him too much power,” his boyfriend rambles before taking a sip from the thermos and closing his eye.
The contents, apparently, are a shake, and it’s really good.
“Didn’t you say before that he was a former warlock? Isn’t that basically an ex-Sith anyway?” Leon snorts, deciding the better part of valor is sitting down before his aching legs do it for him. Luckily, there’s a small table and a few chairs in the room, so it’s easy enough for him to fix.
Xander looks up with alarm, leaning against the cabinets for possibly much the same reasons. “I will pay you to never mention that to him. We’ll never stop hearing about it.”
“I could be persuaded to take a date as payment,” Leon suggests, smiling into the thermos as he notes the beginnings of a shake mustache matching his own.
“But I’m already kinda…I mean, this is sorta…” For whatever reason, Redgrave seems hesitant to take that as an excuse.
“I was going to suggest a kiss, but I don’t want to move too fast,” he explains, and Xander laughs, light and happy, and crosses the kitchen, wiping off the yogurt and fruit from his face before dropping a light kiss on Leon’s forehead. The agent is surprised, again, but in a good way. It’s small and sweet but it’s also really, really nice, and Leon finds himself laughing, too.
“Trust me, Leon, my days of getting coerced to do things I don’t want to in a relationship are numbered, namely because from the sound of it that really bothers you,” Xander tells him, chugging the rest. That’s actually really sweet, that he sees a future here and he trusts Leon to take care of him.
“You’re damn right,” he responds hotly, relaxing slightly at the fond, cheerful look he gets in turn. Xander pulls the chair close enough for their shoulders to touch, but he doesn’t continue, which gives Leon a moment to think through what he’s going to say to try to get at the truth. He doesn’t need it, of course, but he’s curious and he’s pretty sure it won’t be a problem to ask about.
“I really thought fighting together would have already shown you I can take care of myself.” He knows maybe it’s hard to get through his head. Redgrave, at first, had treated him just like he was some normal human, partly because he didn’t fit into those easy categories of ‘Slayer’, ‘part-devil’, or ‘witch’.
“I know that,” Xander responds quickly, defensively, and Leon frowns. Huh. Something’s going on, then.
“…Okay, so what was this about?” He wouldn’t be too worried, but the man’s being secretive.
It takes Xander a minute to respond, and when he does it’s under his breath. He won’t meet Leon’s eyes. “I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t break you.”
The blush and general state of embarrassment clue him in. Suddenly, he’s blushing too. He’d thought he was beyond that, but then again, Xander seems to be bringing out his softer side again, too. “Oh. And what did you conclude?”
“That I’m good moving at my own pace and I don’t need to worry about, um. Breaking you.” Xander sighs and finally meets Leon’s eye with an embarrassed gaze. “I, uh. This is a little early to be talking about this, you know, if this was normal. I know it’s not because neither of us really do normal which is why it’s nice that we have each other, but I guess it kind of came up, and I really don’t want to give any false impressions or anything, but I really wanted to make sure before this got too far because I’ve seen relationships like that, mostly with Buffy, and on her end she’d dated a normal army dude so there was a little of trying to convince both of us it’d be fine, but most of it is stuff that you don’t want to talk about but I wanted to be up front and I wanted to make sure—”
When he finally notices the fond smile, he finally takes a breath, leaning in a little further to rest his head on Leon’s shoulder. “Right. I should definitely start the story at the beginning. I mean, I already told you some of this, but mostly the overall summary, not the details. Which look like this. A lot of my relationships were more physical than I wanted. I mean, not that I didn’t want sex; I was a hormonal teenage boy. But a lot of them primarily ended up being more physical, and, like I said, it didn’t bother me, necessarily, but I wanted more. I kept thinking there should be more, that an emotional connection should’ve been made because that’s how I’m wired, and it’s gotten me into trouble.”
Leon definitely doesn’t like that, but he purposefully relaxes. Xander felt the tension, he knows, but imitating a demon or guard dog and growling at anyone who even looks at Xander wrong isn’t going to help the situation. “You’re worth waiting for,” he states with certainty instead, and it’s his turn to feel the sudden tension because the half-devil wasn’t expecting that.
Still, it only takes Xander a second to actually respond, this time. “So are you.”
Leon grins and puts an arm around Redgrave’s shoulders. The half-devil sighs contentedly and snuggles in.
“So yeah, it makes sense I’m thinking about this, even though I don’t think it’ll come up anytime soon, between our schedules and the whole romance bit and everything. And once I get started thinking, worrying is not far behind, and it all spirals from there.” Self-depreciating humor. Honestly, they both need to stop. “And, well. Anya might’ve been an ex-demon, but if I had to guess I’d say she kept some of the resilience and stamina and stuff. But I was worried about you and I really don’t want to hurt you and—” He’s going to start babbling again, which usually Leon doesn’t mind, but this babbling is nervous, anxious babbling, so this time he interrupts.
“That makes two of us,” he insists firmly, and feels the half-devil smile into his shoulder. Surprisingly, Xander doesn’t turn that into a joke, something about ‘oh, you’re not a masochist’ or whatever.
“But now I’ve made sure of that, so I can stop thinking about it and concentrate on saving the world and fixing our operations and hanging out with my hot new boyfriend without expectation or worry,” he continues, more relaxed.
“Just so you know, I’m fine with taking things slow. You’ve seen enough of me just being my friend to know that while I don’t always seem like it I’ve still got that romantic boy scout in me.” Them being friends first is such a blessing when it comes to the romance side.
Apparently it takes Xander a second to think that through. “Oh. Right.”
“So this relationship is pressure free, babe. We’ll feel our way through, whatever feels right. And if you’re feeling pressure or if someone else is suggesting the way things should go, ignore that. We’re redefining our new normal.” Apparently, for once, he’s chosen the right words, emphasizing something that they both care about, a reason that they both were invested in this relationship.
“That makes me feel a lot better. And I’m pretty sure it makes you feel better, too, no matter how cool you try to play it, Mr. Cool Agent.” They’d both gotten to know each other better than he’d realized. He hadn’t even realized that himself.
He nods. “It’s good for our peace of mind.” He pauses, and then decides that’s enough serious talk for one day. “So, seen any good zombie movies lately?” he asks, and feels Xander still, again.
“Wait, but you—it’s not a phobia, is it.” He starts laughing a little, burying his face a little further in Leon’s shoulder. “Why did I not get that? Sure, I hadn’t read your file then, but—” He sounds a little chagrined but mostly amused.
“We both had a lot to think about.” Xander’d brought life and laughter back into the situation, just as he had the rest of Leon’s life, just a new perspective, and that alone makes this all worth it. And he’s doing the same for Xander, from the sound of it, which just makes this all better.