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In hindsight, maybe they could’ve gotten out before the whole thing came down. It’s not like they weren’t aware that the building was unstable, but the truth is that it was too sudden for anyone to do anything other than just watch as the floor gave out from under them. There wasn’t even enough of a warning for an evacuation order to be placed. Because there wasn’t really the need for one, the floor was cleared and they were making their way back out when it happened.
Buck was actually talking about how lucky they were that there was no one down there, about how an extraction from there would be tricky when it happened.
And as they go down Eddie is actually thinking about how the universe seems to have a sick sense of humor.
When Eddie comes to, he’s not entirely sure of how long he’s been out. He keeps his eyes closed, quickly taking note of himself. He doesn’t seem to be pinned down by anything. He can feel his toes and fingers, nothing seems to be broken, his ribs hurt like a bitch though, but not enough for him to say they’re anything more than bruised. He can still feel the fabric of his bag on his hands. The worrying part is the sticky feeling dripping down his head.
So he slowly sits up, blinking around himself trying to get his eyes used to the low light as he clicks his flashlight on, taking in the parking lot.
If he remembers the blueprints correctly that means they fell at least two stories.
His radio is busted, so he also focuses to try and hear any sign of movement from Buck. He can hear the faint commotion above him, but the team would be looking for them on the wrong floor so he would have to find Buck and pray like hell that his radio still works.
That’s when he hears it.
"Buckley. Diaz. Come in," Bobby’s voice comes through a layer of static that lets him know that at least Buck’s radio is somewhere to his right. He doesn’t let himself think about what it means that Buck hasn’t answered the call himself. He just pushes himself up despite the pain, ignoring how dizzy it makes him.
"Buck!" He’s calling out, moving to where the sound had come from.
It twists something inside of him, the way Buck won’t call back. The only time he reached for Buck and Buck didn’t reach back was when he was dead. Three minutes and seventeen seconds of existing in one of his worst-case scenarios.
Eddie knows he shouldn’t just jump to conclusions, there are many explanations as to why Buck would be unconscious but not dead.
Many of them include the possibility of Buck being somewhere actively dying, but he’s trying not to think about that as he hears Bobby calling again.
Maybe he’s just stupid for deciding hoping for the best was the way to go.
He’s moving, getting smaller pieces of the ceiling out of the way as he goes, but he knows there’s no way he’s getting Buck out of there alone.
And he has no idea what kind of injuries the biggest piece is hiding.
Because it seems like half the ceiling is on top of Buck.
On the less horrible side, it seems like Buck fell between two cars that seem to have also taken part of the load. The crushed cars also give Eddie something to climb to get to him, so he waits to panic until he lands next to Buck’s head, taking in the way his whole bottom half is hidden by concrete.
There’s a nasty gash on the side of his head, but he’s not really trying to figure out the extent of Buck’s injuries yet, he just yanks his glove off before bringing his hand to Buck’s pulse point on his neck, saying a silent prayer to every saint he can think of and nearly crying out in relief when he feels the surprisingly steady rhythm of his pulse against his fingers.
He probably stays a few beats too long feeling Buck’s heartbeat, before willing himself to be professional, unhooking Buck’s radio from his chest and digging in his bag, bringing the smelling salt to his nose and waiting a few seconds that seem to stretch forever as he waits for him to react.
Buck’s eyelashes flutter, face contorting in pain before his eyes fully open, gaze unfocused as he tries to look around.
"Hey, hey, don’t move your head too much, you know the drill," Eddie says, holding his face still and Buck’s eyes finally find him.
"‘ddie?" He asks, trying to focus on his face, while he looks around for Buck’s bag, because most of the stuff he would need here stays with Buck, not him.
"Yeah, I’m here, but I need you to stay still while I look for your bag and call for help, okay?" Eddie says, gently stroking his cheek, and Buck blinks at him a couple of times before mumbling an okay at the same time Bobby’s voice comes from the radio again.
"Buck? Eddie? Do you copy?"
Eddie fumbles around with the radio for a few seconds as he stands up again before he manages to hit the button to answer.
"Copy, Cap, but we need help, we’re in the parking lot, I’m fine but Buck is pinned by a piece of the ceiling, I can’t move him, I haven’t done a full assessment yet, but it’s not good," he says, looking around for the red of Buck’s bag, attaching the radio to his chest in place of his broken one.
"The parking lot?" He can hear the confusion in the captain's voice, so they definitely fell through a few stories.
"Yes, I think we’re east of the exit, I can hear movement right above us if that helps," he adds and he finally sees the strap poking out from under a car across from him.
"It does, just hang tight," Bobby says as he drops down to free the bag.
"Copy."
He’s pulling the things he needs as he walks back, trying to make a list of everything they have on them as he moves.
"Buck?" He calls, kneeling next to him again and Buck’s eyes seem more focused when they find him, "I’m gonna put the neck brace on you, okay?" He adds, but Buck’s eyes just track him as he works, "can you move your fingers and your toes?" He asks once it’s in place.
"Yeah, but I think my ankle is broken," he says, voice shaking along with his breathing as he reaches a hand to the side of Eddie’s face, "you’re bleeding."
"I know, it’s fine," Eddie dismisses him, clicking his penlight on, "can you follow the light for me?"
"Eddie," Buck pleads, but he does what he asks.
"I promise I’m good, okay? Let me do the worrying," he says, moving so he can open Buck’s turnout, feeling around his ribs, not missing the way he squirms in pain, before he stops to listen to his breathing, definitely not liking the way it sounds.
"Cap?" Eddie says into the radio, trying to keep himself calm.
"Go for Nash."
"I can’t know for sure because I can’t move him from where he is or the concrete off him, but Buck thinks his ankle is broken, he’s showing no signs of a spinal injury, but, uh, he has a few broken ribs and I’m pretty sure there’s too much pressure in his lung, I think it might’ve even punctured it, so how’s the plan to getting us out of here?"
"We’re working on it."
"You need to work faster," Buck says, and Eddie gives him a startled look as he raises his hand to show it to him. His covered in blood hand.
"Shit," Eddie curses, moving around the floor, debris and windshield glass digging into his legs as he feels around along the edge of the concrete to find the source of the bleeding, "shit, shit," he keeps mumbling under his breath, slowly losing the grip he has on his fear.
It doesn’t seem like Buck is impaled by anything, and it doesn’t seem to be all the way through, since he finds nothing when he feels around his back, so his best guess is that something clipped him on the way down, and that means he’s been bleeding under there the whole time. He’s digging through his med kit, only vaguely aware of Bobby’s voice on the radio and Buck saying his name as he rips a pack of gauze open, only looking up when Buck whimpers in pain once he starts applying pressure.
"Sorry, I’m sorry," he flinches, his own eyes starting to water when he meets Buck’s red-rimmed ones, "I’ll get you something for the pain," he adds, blinking through the tears he has no right letting fall right now, reaching for his kit.
"No morphine," Buck says before Eddie can pull anything from the bag.
"Buck," he pleads, but Buck seems determined as he looks back at him.
"Eddie! Come in!" Bobby’s voice interrupts the staring contest before Eddie can decide to just give him morphine anyway.
"Sorry, Cap, things got more urgent down here, Buck’s bleeding real bad, lower torso, I’m trying to get control of it, but it would be easier if I didn’t have to deal with the debris," Eddie says into the radio, maintaining pressure with one hand pointlessly looking around to see if there’s anything he could use to try and lift the stone enough to pull Buck out.
"The building is not stable enough to send someone down, we’re working on finding some alternative entrance point," Bobby tells him, and he keeps looking at Buck's face, the way the color is not so slowly fading from it.
"Work faster."
"How is your breathing?" Eddie asks Buck once he's sure he's not about to bleed out under him, moving to switch the gauze and secure it in place so he can do the same on the cut on his head.
"Fine," he mumbles, and Eddie gives him a pointed look, "everything hurts, what do you want me to say?" He adds, voice still too shaky.
"If it's hard to breathe."
"It's not," he says, and Eddie continues to watch him in disbelief as he starts bandaging his head, "it's not, I'm just in pain," he says, eyes tracking Eddie's every move.
"Morphine will help with that," Eddie says once he's done but Buck still looks determined as he shakes his head as much as he can.
"No."
"Why the hell not?"
"No."
"Fine, any other injuries you're hiding?" Eddie asks, looking for a bag of fluids to hook Buck into to try and do something about the amount of blood he’s losing and Buck just sighs.
"Just do something about your own head," Buck begs, eyes wide and Eddie touches his forehead. He had forgotten about that.
"I'm fine," Eddie says, maneuvering Buck’s arm out of his jacket to start the IV, propping the bag in the car behind him while Buck keeps watching his every move.
"And I'm trapped," he says, matter-of-factly, finally getting Eddie to stop moving around.
"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing else you can do," Buck tries to shrug, face twisting in pain as he does and Eddie can't help the way he winces with him.
"I could go look for jacks in those cars," he says, nodding to the row of cars across from them even if he knows Buck can’t see them.
"It won't work," he says, trying to sound nonchalant as he looks at the concrete pinning him down, but Eddie knows him too well to be fooled by it. If he’s honest, he’s not sure how to react because he’s not used to seeing Buck looking so genuinely scared.
"You don't know that," he says, finally sitting down next to Buck’s head, making sure he can stay in his line of sight.
"I'm better at heavy rescues than you," Buck says, looking back at him, almost as if he’s expecting Eddie to fight him on it. Not that he actually would. Maybe if they were messing around during the downtime at the station. Not now. He knows Buck has an instinct for these types of situations he never fully grasped. Knows that that instinct along with his experience in the army is what makes them one hell of a rescue team. Knows he would be following Buck’s lead here if Buck wasn’t the person he’s trying to save.
"And?" He asks, waiting for whatever conclusion Buck has reached about what's happening.
"There's no way for you to get enough contact to get enough lift to pull me out with a car jack." Buck is not wrong. Eddie knows that. Even if he could, no car jack would be able to lift the stone for the amount of time it would take him to lift it and then move to pull him out. But he also doesn’t know what else to do when they don’t have any tools that could help.
"I can keep you stable long enough for them to find us," he settles on saying even though he also doesn’t have everything he would need to treat Buck on hand. They’re lucky because this was what they were expecting to encounter, but even then, they were only supposed to keep someone stable for long enough to get them out from where they came in. That plan doesn’t work with no way out.
"For that, you need to not pass out, so, head," Buck says, eyes pleading, as if that was what he was expecting Eddie to say.
"I'm not concussed," He says, trying to ignore the way Buck’s expression makes him feel. He’s pretty sure he really isn’t concussed so he’s not worried about himself at the moment.
"You don't know that," Buck says, forever stubborn, reaching a hand to try and look at the cut he knows is somewhere around his temple.
"It's just a scratch," he shrugs after indulging him for a second and Buck gives him a disbelief look.
"I would hardly call that a scratch."
"It's a head wound, they bleed."
"Eddie," Buck’s tone is pleading, but Eddie is not ready to give in yet.
"Buck," he says, matching his tone.
"Please?" Buck pouts at him, eyes looking too blue with the way he seems to be fighting back tears. If those are from pain or from fear, Eddie is not sure, but it’s a powerful visual. Their situation is too dreary for him to keep fighting Buck like that.
"Fine," he concedes, pulling his med kit again before he’s interrupted by the radio.
"Eddie."
"Cap."
"Are you near the south wall?" Bobby asks, and Eddie raises himself to look around.
"Yeah, but there’s no clear path to it."
"How far?"
"30, 35 feet?"
"We have a plan we think might work, just hang tight."
Eddie just nods at nothing, turning to check on Buck’s IV.
"See? Plan. We're getting you out," he tells Buck, looking back at him, but he just gives him an unimpressed look.
"Head."
"Okay, fine," Eddie says, cleaning the cut as best as he can without actually being able to see it. "You happy?" He adds once he’s done, looking back at Buck, who chuckles a bit too breathlessly while glancing around them.
"All things considered," he says, and Eddie flinches.
"Sorry," he says, but Buck just makes a noncommittal noise.
They’re both bad at waiting, so Eddie checks Buck’s bandages again while Buck keeps flexing his fingers, as if he wants to grab something but has nothing to reach for. And if there's a moment for Eddie not to overthink touching him is now, so he takes his hand, lacing their fingers together, making Buck give him a startled look before squeezing his hand.
But it’s too weak, it makes the fear Eddie keeps trying to contain that much harder to fight.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Buck asks, studying his face.
"I promise," he says, even if he has no idea what Buck is seeing, even if it makes him frown at him. Because Buck is asking if he’s hurt. And he’s sure it is nothing to be concerned with.
"You have your I'm hiding something face on," Buck says, eyes still trained on his face.
"I have an I'm hiding something face?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah."
"Can't I just be worried about you?"
"That bad, huh?" Buck asks, scrunching his face, expression staying in a space between fear and pain that makes Eddie want to run his fingers through his hair, chase it away any way he can.
"You’re gonna be fine," he trying to be comforting, but at this point, he’s not sure if he’s trying to convince himself or Buck.
"And now the comforting but not really believing what you’re saying voice," Buck says as if he’s reading Eddie’s mind so he tries to deflect.
"Do you have a catalog or something?"
"Oh, definitely."
"On me?"
"You’re my partner, I gotta know these things," Buck says it like it’s obvious, and something about it makes alarm bells ring in Eddie’s head.
"You’re distracting me, what’s wrong?" He asks, sitting up, eyes flickering between everything he knows could be creating problems.
"What makes you think something is wrong?" Buck deflects, and the alarm in his head gains a new intensity.
"It works both ways," Eddie states, moving to check Buck again and he sighs.
"I’m getting numb." Buck’s expression is just fear now, even if he’s trying to act as if he’s not scared. And Eddie tries to flip the switch, to push past it, be the medic he was trained to be, but his hands are shaking as he goes through the usual checks again.
"Can you still move?"
"Yeah, I’m just, well, numb," Buck mumbles, eyes watering as he watches Eddie work.
"Why did you think that distracting me was the way to go?" Eddie asks, still trying to find something he can do to fix it, but he’s out of his depth, because the only explanation he can think of is blood loss, and since the wound he has access to is currently controlled, that means it’s internal and, considering the sound of his breathing, he was probably right and it’s his lung.
"There’s nothing you can do, I didn’t want you fussing around trying to fix it," Buck says like it’s a fact, but his voice is shaking with more than just the effort to keep speaking.
"I’m your partner, that’s literally my job," Eddie fights, but Buck just looks at him.
"Something the job is just being there," he says, reaching for Eddie’s hand again, and Eddie takes it, stops moving for a beat, bile rising up his throat when he understands what Buck actually means.
"No, don’t talk like that."
"Come on, Eds, I know what dying feels like." Buck doesn’t seem to want to fight back the tears anymore, as they start falling as he blinks up at him and it takes strength Eddie didn’t know he had not to start crying with him.
"I don’t accept that, you promised to help me chaperone Chris’ class, you can’t just leave him hanging when he never wants to hang out with us anymore," he says, voice shaking as bad as his hands.
"You can handle a bunch of preteens," Buck says, with another weak attempt to squeeze his hand and that breaks whatever resolve he had to just sit and wait. He needs to do something.
"Cap? Any progress?" He asks into the radio, ignoring the way Buck is looking at him.
"Working on the first wall, might be another ten to fifteen minutes."
"First?"
"It’s the only way to access the parking lot without triggering another collapse."
"Things are not looking good here, so you need to be faster."
"We’re going as fast as we can."
Eddie has to fight the urge to chuck the radio because that’s not good enough.
"Eddie," Buck calls, but he shakes his head, stubbornly looking away.
"No."
"You just gonna ignore me?"
"If you’re gonna keep acting like you need to say your last words, yes," Eddie says, but he feels bad about it instantly, and he’s looking back at Buck when there’s an ominous sound and more debris is falling from the upper floors, "shit," he curses, pulling his turnout over his head and using his body to shield Buck’s as best as he can, praying that nothing too big falls on top of them as he waits for it to pass, feeling the impact against his back, hearing the way the rocks keep falling all around them, and stays that way until it the noise stops.
"Eddie, you have to get out of here," Buck pleads, tears tracking their way across his face, and Eddie feels his own tears starting to fall.
"No."
Whatever fight Buck is about to put on gets interrupted by a fit of coughing that leaves Eddie wincing until he notices he coughing up blood.
Then he’s not sure he’s breathing anymore as he digs through his med kit again, as if something to help him here would magically appear.
"Eddie." His name sounds like a plea. But he doesn’t know what Buck is asking for. For Eddie to look at him, to leave him behind, to do something, or if he just wants to say his name. He feels like it may be a combination of all.
"No, you're a stubborn idiot, so you're gonna keep being a stubborn idiot, and I'm gonna stay right here," Eddie says, dropping his kit and haphazardly wiping his cheeks as he looks at Buck.
"You can get out."
"No, I can't."
The truth is Eddie could. At least leave the very exposed position they’re both in right now, because pieces of concrete are still falling dangerously close. There’s nothing physically stopping him. But he can’t. He’s not sure he can move at all.
"Eds." Buck sounds like he has already given up, so Eddie resorts to the only defense he can use. The one he keeps hiding behind.
"Don't make me go home and tell Chris he lost another parent," he says, and Buck’s lips treble as he looks up at him.
"He is why you need to go."
"Because telling him you're dead and I left you behind is better how?" Eddie asks, voice cracking through his tears.
"Eds, he needs you."
"He needs both of us."
"Hey," Buck reaches for him, and he doesn’t know how he ended up being the one being comforted, but he takes his hand anyway.
"No, the rest of the team is coming and we're getting you out of here."
"Hey, it's okay, you'll be okay," Buck says, and his voice is getting weaker and for a second the situation just makes him mad.
"You think I would just get over you dying in my arms? Would you, if it was the other way around?"
"You have more to live for," Buck says it like it’s a fact and Eddie knows it couldn’t be a worse time, but it makes him want to start a fight.
"This is the it would've been better if you had been shot bullshit again, you're not expendable, or replaceable, or easy to leave, or whatever the hell your brain keeps telling you."
"Most people do leave," Buck says, and Eddie knows how he acts, knows the root of the problem is deeper than he can argue at the moment.
"Well, I never did and I'm not starting now, so you're not gonna give up and I'm getting you out," Eddie says, moving to get up, maybe he can find something that will work but Buck gives a tug on his hand, forces him to stay in place.
"You know you can't."
"Dammit, Buck," he starts, closing his eyes, trying to get a grip on his feelings but he’s not sure he can, not with this, not right now, "don't put me through this again, you're not allowed to die on me, I can't do this without you."
"Eddie," Buck tries, but Eddie squeezes his eyes closed, "Eddie, please, I need to tell you something."
"No."
"Look at me," Buck pleads and he does, because he can’t not do it. He knows what Buck is going to say, knows they’ve been circling around it for years, knows they’ve been steadily moving to a place where they would do something about it. But he can’t have that happen here. Can’t have the first time he says it be while he thinks it’s going to be the last, he’s not sure he can live with it.
"Eddie, I—" Buck starts when their eyes meet but he interrupts him.
"Don't say it."
"Please, I have to." The tears are running steadily down both their faces now and Eddie adjusts himself as best as he can until he’s cupping Buck’s face gently stroking his cheek while still holding his hand.
"Me too, okay? Me too. But don't make me say it when you're hurt and think you're dying because you think you only deserve it when you bleed and that's not true with me, okay? It's never gonna be true with me so you're gonna keep fighting so I can say it when you're back home complaining that I'm chopping the vegetables wrong while we're making dinner, and after you make pancakes for breakfast and somehow get batter on your hair, and after you carry Chris to bed because he fell asleep on the couch even though he said he could stay awake for another movie, and when you start rambling about something I don't understand because I'll never get enough of hearing your voice. Don’t make me say it in a collapsed building parking lot when I'll never get the chance to say it again. So you're gonna stay alive for me, okay? Stop trying to say goodbye, please."
"I was gonna tell you," Buck says after a beat where he just stares at Eddie with wide eyes, and he sniffs.
"Yeah?"
"I told myself I had to do it by Friday, it's why I wanted to come over, so we could talk," Buck says slowly, every word seeming to take too much effort.
That did make sense, Buck had been particularly weird all shift. Not in a bad way, just like he had a nervous energy about him, even more after he asked Eddie if he could stop by after it. Because he never asked. He would either barge through the door not long after Eddie or just follow him home from the station. Eddie didn’t want to get his hopes up when he asked, but it felt different, there was a promise Eddie couldn’t quite place in the way Buck had smiled when he agreed.
"Why Friday?" He asks through the knot in his throat and the blur in his eyes.
"That weird place you keep saying you wanna try is having a special, I had, I had a whole date planned."
Eddie is not sure why that pulls a sob out of his chest, but it does.
"We'll go once you're better, I'll let you drag me all around the city."
"It's a date," Buck says, with a sad smile, that twists Eddie’s heart into knots.
"It is, you just gotta hang on."
"It's kind of ironic," Buck says after a few seconds and Eddie frowns at him.
"Ironic?"
"It all started in a parking lot," he explains, blinking slowly, and it takes Eddie a few seconds to understand what he means. To remember a seemingly inconsequential promise in a hospital parking lot that tied them together in ways Eddie could’ve never predicted.
"It's not ending, you're not allowed to die, remember?" He says, and Buck nods weakly, closing his eyes, "no, no, no, keep your eyes open for me, okay? You gotta keep looking at me," Eddie is begging, and Buck opens his eyes, blinking slowly but trying to keep them on him.
"Cap, where the fuck are you guys?" He says into the radio.
"A few minutes out."
"He doesn't have a few minutes!"
Eddie knows he lost the fight against his feelings here. Fear is all that exists in his body.
"It's okay," Buck says, bringing his other hand to the one that’s holding Eddie’s and squeezing it in what Eddie is sure would be a comforting gesture if it wasn't for what Buck is asking him to accept.
"No, it's not, you think I counted how long you were dead because I was just fine? You can't, I can't be there again." Eddie is not sure he recognizes his own voice.
"I’m sorry," Buck says, and Eddie thinks there’s too much under those words. Because it seems like Buck is not only apologizing for leaving, but apologizing for putting him through this, for making him care.
"No, no, okay, you're, I'll never regret loving you, but I need more, so you just gotta stay awake a little longer," Eddie says and Buck nods, eyes fluttering shut, leaning into the hand Eddie still has on his face.
Then the south wall all but explodes, and suddenly the space is filled with lights and voices and that would’ve made him cry if he wasn’t already crying.
"We're here!" He calls out and the commotion starts gathering around them.
"Get him out of the way," Bobby gives the order, and he’s being pulled away and he doesn’t have it in him to fight against it.
"Eddie, let me check you," Chim asks, but he shakes his head, watching as the airbags are placed all around Buck, the plan seeming to be lifting the cars with the concrete to get enough space to get him out.
"I'm fine."
"Eddie," he reprimands, but he shakes his head again.
"I'm fine," Eddie repeats, too focused on the effort to get Buck out to let him do anything.
It is not until Buck is on a backboard being lifted onto a gurney that he even looks at anything other than him.
"Pulse is thready but it’s there," someone calls out and he lets out a shaky exhale.
"Great," Eddie says as his knees buckle and he barely notices he’s going down until Chim catches him and lowers him down.
"We need another backboard," Hen calls out, and there are fingers on his neck and a light being shined on his eye.
"Dammit, he said he was fine," Chim says, and the last thing he hears before losing consciousness is Hen.
"He also said Buck was dying, we all know who he would choose."
The first thing Eddie notices when he comes to is the cold air of a nasal cannula. From there it’s pretty simple to gather all the parts that lead to the conclusion that he’s in the hospital. The uncomfortable bed, the antiseptic smell, the phantom of pain weighing him down in the way only hospital-grade painkillers can.
But then the reason he’s in the hospital comes back to him and he shoots up, the lights hurting his head and the IV tugging on his arm as a hand lands on his chest, pushing him back down.
"Easy, easy," Bobby’s voice startles him as he blinks at where it came from trying to focus, fighting against his hand trying to get him to lay back down.
"Buck?"
"He’s alive," he says, and relief makes Eddie drop back into the bed, looking expectantly at him, wanting more information, "It was touch and go for a minute there, he was in surgery for a while, three broken ribs, a broken ankle, you were right about his lung, so there was a lot of internal bleeding, but the doctor seems confident that he’s gonna make a full recovery, Maddie is with him now," he adds and Eddie closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing to calm himself down until everything starts to sink in.
"Wait, how long was I out?" He asks, looking at Bobby again.
"A bit more than a day," he says and his eyes widen.
"Chris," he starts, trying to sit up again, and being pushed down. Again.
"He was with your aunt, but he was getting upset no one was letting him come here and everyone was confident you were about to wake up, so Hen is bringing him over," Bobby explains and he nods.
"Okay. I was feeling fine down there, what happened?"
"You did fall 2 stories."
"It wasn’t that bad," he shrugs, regretting the action when it makes him aware of the pain around his back and ribs. He probably has some nasty bruising all around his body.
"They don’t know, really, your scans were clean, their current theory is that the hit to your head along with the adrenaline crash took you out," Bobby says, with a frown, before glancing at the door, "I should get someone to check on you before Chris gets here."
"Thanks," he agrees and the next ten minutes pass on a haze of questions, nurses drawing his blood, IVs being removed, which honestly make him dizzy.
Until there’s a knock on the door and Hen is hesitantly pushing the door open, making him sit up as Christopher moves around her, hurrying into the room, and Eddie bends to pick him up, Chris coming easily, wrapping his arms around his neck, his crutches forgotten somewhere beside the bed.
"I’m okay, mijo ," he says into his hair, rubbing his hand up and down his back.
"Good to see you awake," Hen smiles, meeting Eddie’s eyes once Chris settles into his lap, seeming as unwilling to move away from him as he is to let go, so he adjusts so they’re both more comfortable.
"Thanks for bringing him."
"I also brought you a bag your aunt packed, since we didn’t know how long you’d be here," she says, dropping the bag in a nearby chair before sitting in the other one.
"They said I’ll probably be out of here by tonight," he tells her. He’s not about to complain about it even if no one seems to know how he could just walk away from a fall like that with some bruises and 2 stitches along his hairline.
"That’s good, you’ll probably still want to change while you’re still here."
They talk for a while, but Eddie is only half listening, more focused on the comforting weight of Chris against his chest. Chris almost never wants to just sit there anymore, and while the circumstances couldn’t be worse, he's also not doing anything that’s not holding him for as long as he needs considering all he’s been through.
"Dad, can we go see Buck?" Chris asks after a while, sliding off his lap, and Eddie adjusts again so he can settle on the bed next to him, but he looks at Hen, a bit helpless, because he doesn't know if he can. He’s not even sure where in the hospital Buck is. And the thought makes him tense.
"We have to check, but I’m sure we can figure something out," he tells Chris, but there’s a knock on the door, Chimney slowly pushing it open, looking around the room before sharing a look with Hen.
"Hey, Chris, why don’t we go get you something from the cafeteria?" She says, standing up and getting his crutches. So Chris frowns at all three of them with a very teenager roll of his eyes, before accepting the help down from the bed.
"I love you, kid," Eddie says, as he walks away and Chris turns around just long enough to say it back.
"Love you too, dad."
"Whatever it is, you’re gonna give me a minute," He tells Chim once the door closes, moving out of the bed, grabbing the bag, and ignoring the confused noise Chim makes as he walks into the bathroom.
"What was that?" Chim asks once he’s back in the room, adjusting the sleeves of the hoodie he’s now wearing.
"I hate hospital gowns," he shrugs. It’s true, he feels much better now in sweats. But he sits down on the bed, "what's with the serious face?"
"Nothing bad, Buck’s awake, and been asking for you, I told him I’d come check."
"Where is he?" He asks but Chim just keeps eyeing him.
"So, did it finally happen?" He asks, and Eddie rolls his eyes.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about," he deflects with a chuckle, because he does know. He had overheard something about a bet with at least half the house a few weeks back. But he's not admitting to anything about the "ridiculous pining" anytime soon. Not to Chimney at least.
"Come on, betting on you guys is not even fun anymore," Chim complains and Eddie raises an eyebrow at him, making his eyes go wide as if he had been caught. It makes Eddie laugh.
"Do you just wanna know if you won a bet?"
"Nah, no one had near-death experience down anyway," he says, moving his hands dismissively around him, and that makes Eddie frown, "what? This is what? The fifth one? Nothing ever happened with the others."
"Don’t know what to tell you, Chim, I don't even know what he remembers."
"So something did happen?" He asks and Eddie stands up again, moving to the door.
"Wouldn’t you like to know?"
"I would actually," Chim says, following him and Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose before opening the door.
"Just show me what room he’s in."
Turns out Buck is just a few rooms down from him, and the door halfway open allows Eddie to see him before they alert Buck or Maddie that they’re there. He looks better than he expected, if he’s honest. His leg is a boot, not a full cast, stretched in front of him where he’s propped into an almost sitting position, laughing at something Maddie said. There’s a bandage on the side of his head and more IVs than Eddie would like to see, but he looks good considering he was dying the last time Eddie saw him.
The open door also allows him to watch as Buck notices him, his smile shifting to something softer, making Maddie turn around, and give a knowing nod while saying something Eddie can't hear, and standing up from her chair once they reach the room.
"We’ll give you guys some privacy," she says, patting Eddie’s shoulder before grabbing Chimney’s hand and dragging him away with her.
"You owe me a date," Buck teases when he walks into the room, the lazy smile on his face letting Eddie know he does remember and he won't have to sit there and convince him it wasn't some heat of the moment thing.
He's not sure he would be able to if he had to because the sight of Buck smiling propped up on the bed after the nightmare of almost losing him again is reeling him in, making him cross the room as if he's dreaming, Buck watching him curiously, pulling himself so he's sitting up properly as he releases the side rail, sits down next to him and as carefully as can, being mindful of the list of injuries Buck is recovering from, he wraps his arms around him.
Buck comes easily, sagging into his chest with a soft oh, as Eddie presses his forehead to the side of his head, feeling like this is the first time he managed to breathe properly since he woke up in that parking lot.
"As many dates as you want," Eddie says into his hair as Buck’s hands grab at the back of his shirt.
"Yeah?"
"Whenever you want, wherever you want," he says as Buck adjusts their positioning until he manages to hide his face on Eddie’s neck.
"Okay," Buck mumbles into his skin, relaxing against him and Eddie starts running his hand through his hair. "You saved my life again," Buck says after a few moments, arms tightening around him and Eddie chuckles.
"That was definitely not me." The team had done it. Not that it matters, the only thing that matters is that Buck is going to be okay.
"You stayed there even though I had given up," Buck says, and it makes him hold on tighter.
"Like I could ever leave you," Eddie says, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.
"Still."
"I got your back, remember?" He says, pulling a chuckle out of Buck.
"Eddie?" Buck starts before pulling back so he can look at him, "I love you," he says fast, as if he’s expecting Eddie to stop him again, and it makes Eddie tilt his head, "What? We're not in a collapsed building anymore," he shrugs before Eddie manages to say it back, "and I'm not dying or actively bleeding and I never thought I needed to kill myself to love you anyway so I want to say it and you don't have to say it, I get that a hospital bed is not ideal, but to be fair when is anything ideal with us anyway, I mean, the thing that started it all was us exploding an ambulance so, and we were in a hospital bed when you told me about your will and I've been thinking about that since I woke up because when you told me, I thought that meant the possibility was all I was ever going to get, that you didn't love me enough to be in this with me but that wasn't it, was it? You were saying that—"
"That I love you too much to watch you kill yourself?" Eddie finishes for him, and he nods, "yeah, so if you could stop almost dying, please. Because I want a life, Buck, and we can't have that if you're giving up on me," he adds, cupping Buck's cheeks and his whole face softens.
"You're not mad?"
"At what? At the way we don't get a perfectly planned moment? I love you, that's all that matters. I didn't want to say it down there because I don't think I would've been able to move on from hearing it once while you were coughing up blood, now, I'm taking you home in a few days and you're probably gonna be climbing the walls over how bored you are and I'll get my simple moments to say it too," he says, stroking his cheeks and Buck leans into his touch, eyes flickering to his lips, "our first kiss will not be in a hospital though," Eddie chuckles and Buck makes an unhappy sound, pouting at him.
"You're gonna make me wait?"
"Just a few more days, you'll survive," he says, pulling Buck back to his chest, "I love you so much, you have no idea," he says burying his face in Buck's hair once he settles his weight against him, and he laughs.
"I have some idea."
"What about you?" Buck asks after a beat, pulling back to look at him and Eddie frowns.
"What about me?"
"I almost died and you walked away with just some stitches?" Buck teases, and it shouldn't affect him so much, they're both okay, but the reality of how bad it all could have been hits him like a truck as he feels his eyes start to water, making him close his eyes looking down, "okay, wrong thing to say, hey, hey, look at me," Buck says, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look, "we're both okay, I'm not allowed to die on you, you made that very clear."
"You keep trying to, I know you don't like when people tell you what to do, but dammit," Eddie says with a wet chuckle, holding his hand in place as he leans into his touch and Buck seems very serious as he looks him in the eye.
"I’ll try my best to do this one."
"I'm gonna wrap you in bubble wrap," Eddie says, startling a laugh out of Buck.
"Sounds like a horrible plan."
"I'll find something that works," he shrugs, rubbing his eyes and Buck nods.
"I'm sure you will."
"Chris asked about seeing you, feeling up for it?" He asks as Buck leans back into the bed but looks at him as if he had just remembered something, searching Eddie's face.
"Did you mean it?"
"I meant all of it, but which part?" Eddie asks, reaching for his hand, lacing their fingers together.
"That I’m his parent?"
"Me putting you in my will didn’t clue you in?"
"I thought you meant it like, I don’t know, emergencies," Buck shrugs, and Eddie has to fight the urge to pull him back to him.
"Buck."
"What?"
"You’ve been doing everything you can for him for as long as you’ve known him."
"I just didn't know that you felt that way," Buck says, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket.
"He feels that way about you," Eddie says and Buck's eyes go wide.
"What?"
"He knows, and he loves you."
The truth is that Eddie had talked with Chris about it. Or as much as he could talk to the kid without making him feel like he needed to be ready to lose another parent at all times. They had talked about Buck taking care of him and Chris had been absolutely unfazed about it, acting like it was a given, because for him it was.
"He knows?" Buck asks, sounding awed and Eddie nods.
"He knows you're the one who will take care of him if something happens to me, I didn't tell him in as many words because I didn't want him to think about losing me too, but it wasn't even something new for him, he knows you'll protect him, he knows all you do for him, even before I changed my will, I don't know what I would've done without you these past few years and I see it and he sees it too."
"You're making it really hard not to kiss you right now," Buck says, eyes shining and he squeezes his hand.
"I love you and you're our family, so if you could get that through your head once and for all."
"The two of you are everything to me, you know that, right?"
"I know, baby, now can I tell Hen to bring our kid here before he escapes her to come here himself? Because he's getting too smart for us," he laughs, but Buck is looking at him like someone had just hit him in the head, making Eddie shoot him a questioning look while Buck shakes his head.
"Just get him here before you say more stuff that will make me kiss you senseless in this hospital bed," he says, leaning back further into his pillows making Eddie laugh.
"Is it the baby? Or me loving you just turns you on?"
"Shut up," he pouts, playfully shoving Eddie, who slides off the bed, still laughing.
"I love you," he says, leaning down to press a kiss to his birthmark before sitting down on the chair next to the bed, pulling his phone to text Hen, and then spending the next hour, watching Chris settled on the bed next to Buck and rolling his eyes at the looks Chim, Maddie and Hen keep sharing until a nurse comes to drag him back to his room.
Not that it matters much, he comes back once he’s discharged later in the day, and every day after until the doctors finally decide Buck is ready to go home, no one arguing when he says Buck would be staying with him. If he has it his way he wouldn’t be going back to the loft at all.
Eddie is actually thinking about how much conversation needs to happen before he asks Buck to move in while Buck complains about the wheelchair he needs to be on while leaving the hospital, and while Buck teases him about being the one who will have to drive once he helps him into his truck.
But Buck seems to enjoy the drive, turned on his seat so he can look at Eddie, rambling about a book he read while in the hospital, keeping their fingers linked until Eddie pulls up into the driveway. He’s actually just watching Eddie as he kills the engine and tells Buck to wait as he rounds the truck.
"You ready?" Eddie says once he’s on the other side pulling the door open more while Buck turns his whole body to him and nods. He's actually a bit surprised Buck didn't try to climb down alone. He's also so focused on making sure there's nothing Buck could hurt himself with that he doesn't notice the way he hasn't moved until he tells him to wait, "what's wrong?"
"Just stop fussing for a second," Buck asks and Eddie stops, a hand resting on his thigh, the other on the doorframe, as he waits for whatever it is Buck wants to say. They're still around the same height with the way he's leaning out of the seat and he sees when Buck makes the decision, the determined glint in his eyes being his only warning before Buck grabs him by his shirt and pulls him closer. Eddie goes willingly, blue eyes scanning his face as best as they can with how close they are before they're kissing, Buck's arms going around him as he seems to decide that Eddie can stop him from falling off the truck as he melts against him.
Not that Eddie minds, letting his hands move to his back, as he slots himself better between Buck's thighs and drags him closer to him.
The kiss is soft though, calm and unhurried, both of them getting used to what it feels like. He could get addicted to the feeling though.
But it's also intense in the way it finally settles the mess of feelings that were tangled in his chest since the parking lot. Maybe even longer than that.
Buck is alive, in his arms, and he gets to do this. He gets to take him home, and he gets to kiss him, and he gets to keep him.
"Couldn't wait until I got you inside?" Eddie teases as he tightens his hold, once Buck pulls back, dropping more of his weight on him as he nuzzles into his neck.
"The only reason I didn't do it when you got me in the truck is because the hospital parking lot is still technically the hospital," Buck says and Eddie laughs, pulling back so he could look at him.
"You're ridiculous," Eddie says, moving his hands to cup Buck’s cheeks and pulling him in for another kiss.
"But you love me," Buck says against his lips, before kissing him again. Eddie lets himself be kissed for a while longer before deciding that if this keeps going they’re never getting out of the car. So he pulls back, ignoring the pout on Buck’s lips as he doesn’t come back once he chases his lips.
"So much, baby, so much," Eddie says, gently stroking his cheek. "But can I get you home now?"
Buck just grins.