Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was Friday, January 30th and Bridget Connolly was driving 10 kph over the speed limit through the city of Bray in Wicklow county Ireland. Speeding, in an attempt to make it to her shift at The Hot Spot on time after dropping off her 3-year-old daughter Molly with her mother for the night. “Fucking hell.” she cursed under her breath as she noticed the time, 7:15 pm

She felt the familiar friend of anxiety creep into her chest, tightening her lungs so her breaths were short and sharp. As her eyes wandered back to the clock a loud high-pitched horn filled her ears, pulling her attention to the dimly lit road. A van went through the intersection causing her to slam on the brakes, her tires squealing until the front bumper of her silver 1993 Toyota Carina E was only inches of t-boning the blue 1988 Nissan Prairie.

“Fucking ejit!!” She yelled, slamming her hand on the car horn. The driver was shocked, looking at the passengers to make sure they were okay as they stopped at the crossroads. “Christ!” she exclaimed before throwing the car in reverse and backing up 2 meters before shifting her car into drive and passing the van, continuing to speed until she zipped into the parking lot of the pub. She looked down at the clock again. 7:29pm

Hastialy, she grabbed her apron and her work shoes as she pushed the door open of the car before rushing into the back door of the pub, scrambling through the crisp January air, hopping through the lot to put her nonslip waitress shoes on, tying her apron around her waist as soon as she had both hands free and putting her hair up into a loose bun at the back of her head.

“Christ Bridget, we thought you weren't going to make it.” Claire exclaimed, shoving napkins into her apron along with a few straws as Bri clocked into the machine in the narrow and dimly lit entry hall before hanging up her coat.

“Don’t get me started, I almost hit a van on the way here.”

“Molly not letting you leave again?”

“You know she’s lucky that she's got the cutest little face and those brown ringlets that make her look like Shirley Temple or I swear there are days I would not hesitate to give her to my sister to keep.”

“Bridget!” Daniel called, pulling both girls out of their conversation to look over their shoulders to see their manager at the top of the stairs. “Fuck.” Claire winced under her breath, Bridget having a similar reaction as both looked like they were being called to the headmaster's office. “Yes, Danny?” Bridget said meekly, hoping that she wasn’t about to get chewed out for clocking in 2 minutes late again for the 8th shift in a row. “Hurry up with your first round on your tables tonight. After, grab some drinks from James, I need you in the green room tonight.”

“What happened to Michelle? She usually does the green room?”

“Do you not want to be in the green room?!” Danny said, his harsh personality shining through as Bridget questioned him.

“No! I mean yes, yes I do I just know that-”

“Bridget!”

“Thank you, sir!” She exclaimed, running past him to make her rounds before heading to the bar where James was bartending.

“Hello love, I heard you were on band duty tonight.” He greeted as he continued making an old-fashioned. He was a sweet man, at least to Bridget, whom he had a crush on since she started working there 5 months ago. “Yep!” she beamed, “any idea who’s playing?” she asked, grabbing the tray off the corner of the mahogany countertop.

“Some group called Hozier? One hit wonders if you ask me, They’ve got one good song that rocked the place last week but other than that… I don’t know if they're not my type.”

“Well that would make sense James, your type is all girl groups that wear barely anything and dance with their arse out.” She jested as he placed the old-fashioned on her tray.

“I liked the Spice Girls too!”

“That continues to prove my point. Anyways, this the last drink?”

“Yeah, good luck!”

“Thanks!” she grinned before weaving through the crowd, pulling the black curtain out of her way with one hand so she could get backstage.

“Andrew, you can't add two songs to the set like that, we haven’t gone through them enough.” The brunette bassist stated to the guitarist as they both tuned their instruments, one sitting in the chair and the other leaning against the arm. “I think Jackie and Wilson and someone new are good, we’ll be fine.” The man Bri presumed was Andrew said before the drummer interrupted and noticed her in the doorway. “Ladies, ladies stop bickering, there is an angel here that has given us the divine gift of liquor.” He said, getting up from the sofa to the left of them and grabbing his drink from her tray, winking at her as he did so. “I’m Rory, love.” He smiled, moving to the side for the bassist to grab his drink.

“That’s Alex,” Rory introduced as he took the Gin and tonic off the tray. “And that shy one over there would be Andrew.” Rory continued, making Andrew smile with a faint blush on his cheeks. Andrew made his way from the arm of the chair and grabbed his scotch from her. “Ta darling.” He said to her, making her flush as well.

There was no doubt in her mind that Andrew was incredibly attractive. He was considerably taller than her and had longer, brown hair that was just past his ears but not quite to his shoulders. She also noted that he had a single freckle above his left brow and that his eyes were an intoxicating combination of blue and green. She wondered to herself if he could ever look at a girl like her the way she was looking at him, he was hoping she wouldn’t notice as he memorized her face in case this was the last time he saw her.

“Well if any of you need anything else, erm, for the night let me know, I’ve got a few tables out there as well as the opening act, so feel free to flag me down if I can get you lot something.” She said, pulling herself back to reality after drinking in his features.

“Oh, Love!” Rory called after her after she turned to leave the green room. “Yes?” She responded, spinning around to see the boys. “You didn't give us your name,” Rory said, glancing at Andrew briefly, who was watching her every move, waiting for an answer. “Bridget.”

-

Bridget had no clue what James was talking about, Hozier was so much more than one-hit wonders. The openers weren't that bad either, some band called Little Green Cars that she could definitely make it as well. She cursed the fact that she was working or she would have joined the group of girls up at the front and danced to all the songs they played. To be fair, even when she was waitressing tables it didn't stop her from moving a little in between, but she couldn't remember the last time she saw a band that she wasn't working for the pub they played in.

She chose Jackie and Wilson as her favorite song of the night, though Take Me to Church was a close second, the moment of eye contact from Andrew during the chorus was what finalized her decision.

“There's our Angel!” Rory cheered, making her giggle as she set the second round of drinks down on the small coffee table in the middle of the room. “You guys were feckin fantastic!” she beamed, fangirling like a 16-year-old over the three.

“What did you think of Jackie and Wilson? Was it too loose or was it too tight, how about someone new?-"

"Alex, don't crowd her, she's probably too busy to answer your 50 questions about our performance”

“Rory, I just want to know what to improve. We played those songs only 10 times all the way through.”

“Sorry about them.” Andrew smirked, grabbing his second scotch as he made his way to her side, the both of them watching Rory and Alex bicker about drum fills, more complex bass lines, and the inclusions of harmonies.

“I meant it, you guys were fantastic.” She said, her eyes not leaving the two as Rory began childishly imitating Alex with his bass, Andrew chuckling a little to himself as he watched his bandmates. He took a sip of his drink before he said. “You know you don’t have to lie-”

“No, I'm dead serious, one of my favorite bands now.”

“Oh? And who did we replace?”

“St Vincent, you’re between Van Morrison and The Cranberries now.”

“I wish you could begin to fathom how high of a praise that is to me.”

He looked down at her, noticing how her nose crinkled as she giggled.

“Feck off you gowl!” Rory exclaimed, pulling the two’s attention back to Alex who was wearing a cymbal on his head like a hat as he stood on the couch, holding Rory's drumsticks out of his grasp while he attempted his best to get them back.

“Never a dull fuckin moment.” Andrew chuckled as his hand pinched the bridge of his nose.

-

“Have a good night Claire.” Bridget called out as she made her way to set the alarm. “1,8,3…” she trailed off mindlessly before hitting the set button, causing her to sprint through the empty bar and slide out the backdoor just in time. She grabbed her key out of her pocket and locked up the place before turning to the parking lot.

She took down her hair, sighing as she felt the release of the tight bun on her scalp while making her way to her silver car, noticing the band still packing up their van beside her. She glanced over at Andrew who met her gaze, smiling as their eyes met as she opened the car door.

“Hey sorry for almost hitting you earlier!” Alex exclaimed from the driver's seat, snickering.

“THAT WAS YOU?” She exclaimed, baffled that she didn't recognize him sooner. “yeah, I didn't want to say anything earlier, thought it might ruin Andrew's chances with ya.” Alex smirked, causing Andrew to roll his eyes as he loaded the last few pieces of Rory’s drum set into the back.

“Bold of you to assume that I’d take such a liking to him.” she taunted cockily, until she noticed Andrew's face fall expressionless.
“And can you honestly say that you didn’t fall for this 6 foot giant-”

“Alex cut it out.” Andrew interjected, quickly throwing his guitars in the backseat to get out of there as fast as possible. Bri noticed his change in behavior and felt a wave of courage… or stupidity, she hadn't made her mind up yet, and felt compelled to tell her truth.

“No, unfortunately I think he’s incredibly intriguing and outrageously handsome. Good night boys!”

“Wait!”

“Whoa Bridget, come back!”

Alex and Rory called out as she got into her car making her giggle. She grabbed her keys and placed them in the ignition, turning her key to start…. Turning to “no please, not after that don’t do this to me!” Bridget begged as her car began struggling to turn over in the icy night air. She attempted 3 more times before a knock on her window pulled her attention from the failing vehicle. Looking up in utter embarrassment she was met with a wave of calm as she looked into his green eyes.

“Hi Darling.” Andrew smirked.

“Hi…” she cringed, knowing that there was no way out of this and it was way too late to take back what she said… she was beginning to lean more towards stupidity than courage. “Need a ride? I know Alex is being a bit of a melter and Rory is piss drunk, but I’d hate to leave you here.”

“Promise you’re not going to murder me if I get into your blue van.” she jested sarcastically

“Gealltanas.” he said, offering his hand to her to take.

She took a deep breath, weighing her decisions before she took it and got out of the car, both heading their way to the blue Nissan.

“Welcome aboard lass!” Rory slurred from the passenger seat as she got into the back with Andrew. “Jesus Wept.” Andrew muttered under his breath. “Rory please don’t be such a dope.” Alex said, his hand landing on the top of Rory’s head to turn him around to sit in his seat properly before starting the van and backing out of the parking lot.

“Oi, I better not catch you two shifting back there.” Alex smirked, looking at the pair from the rearview mirror. “Alex lay off it.” Andrew warned as Bridget blushed as red as humanly possible in the seat next to him.

“Yeah, we’re close Andrew but we’re not that close.” Rory added, making Alex snicker.

“Well I mean she was the one who deemed him so I outrageously handsome. Tell me love, was it the constant longing glances across the room with no follow through or was it the blushing like a school boy that made you come to this conclusion.”

“Alex-” Andrew warned.

“But you can’t forget that he thought she was an absolute ride when she-”

“And both of you have lost your taking privileges for the remainder of this car ride.” Andrew interrupted, making the two boy’s giggle as silently as possible for the rest of their time in the front seat.

She turned her head to look at Andrew, smiling a little as she watched him lean against the window with his head in his hand again. His hair was covering a bit of his face but the illuminance from the street lamps passing by every few kilometers made him look almost ethereal.

The remainder of the car ride was silent, though a comfortable one, until the car pulled into the drive of an old flat. The band said their goodbyes, Alex taking Rory home after they got into Alex’s 1992 white Renault 21 Savanna. “I’ll text you when we get to his flat.” Alex said before getting into the driver's seat and pulling off.

Andrew and Bridget stood there in the dark suburb, their bodies only a few centimeters away. His face was lit by the soft warm glow of the street lamps again. She took a deep breath, watching the fog from her exhale as she attempted to collect herself before she made a mistake. But then he smiled at her, a raw true smile that only came from him looking into her eyes, into the deepest corners of her. ‘What would go wrong if I made the move?’ She thought to herself. ‘I’m never going to see him again after this anyways.’

“Do you want me to take-” he said before her lips met his, kissing him deeply and passionately as she possibly could before pulling away, his face left in a serendipitous shock.

“Do you want to come inside.” he said, making Bri giggle at the quick change of his question.

“Please.”

Chapter Text

“Please.” she practically begged before he placed his lips on hers again, feeling the way they moved perfectly in time with his, kissing each other at the end of the driveway like their lives depended on it. He pulled away and grabbed her hand, luring her towards the entrance of his flat, stopping to pin her against the front door, his mouth trailing down her neck. “Fucking hell.” she moaned breathily, his right hand caressing her face while the left unlocked the door, pushing it open so they tumbled in.

He pulled away briefly to shut the door before meeting their mouths again in a fit of passion. She slid her hand in his hair, pulling slightly at his locks as he pinned her against the door. His hands traced her body, stopping at her thigh and squeezing it before they stumbled into the flat up to his room on the second floor. “God I’ve wanted to do this since you walked through that bleeding curtain.” he moaned, opening the door to his room and backing her up on the bed.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Fuck, Andrew I want this.”

“Good, because I am absolutely dying to worship your body.” He said before his lips met with hers again as their bodies slowly fell to the mattress. He slid her black long-sleeve shirt off, starting at her hip to leave a trail of kisses where her skin was becoming exposed. “Áille” he muttered before his lips met where her jawline and neck connected, Leaving love bite on the sensitive flesh. His hands slid to the back of her bra where he unclasped the fabric, slowly revealing herself to him as he kissed her once again.

“You are… Fuck how did I get so lucky.” He moaned as his hand fell upon her left breast, softly tracing her nipple as his eyes took her in. She played with the hem of his shirt, letting him know to take it off as he tossed it to the old wooden floors. His attention was back on her as he took her breast in his mouth, softly biting the skin as she slid her hands in his hair and arched her back. He hummed in delight, making her moan before he pulled away to place delicate kisses on her hips.

“Andrew, please.” She begged as he began to slide down her trousers, kissing her thighs once they were free. He placed himself between her legs, her left over his right shoulder as he nipped and kissed at her skin. Her hands gripped the sheets as he teased her with how close he was to her most intimate part of her.

She never thought she’d ever be a girl for one-night stands, but Christ he was making her feel things she'd never felt before, and in that moment the only thing she’d ever wanted was to feel him.

He pulled her knickers to the side, placing a delicate kiss on her clit making Bri’s eyes roll while she let out a moan. He placed a quick bite on her thigh before his mouth met her clit again, his tongue teasing the flesh as she tore into the sheets. His eyes looked over her body and watched as she fell into a trance-like state as his tongue dipped into her entrance, eating her out as if he had been starving for weeks.

He was starving, hungry for her touch and hungry for her to feed it to him. He pulled away softly and smirked as he watched her moan and writhe under his touch. “God… I love the way you look for me.” he groaned, before making his move back to her. He slid a single finger into her, causing her to beg for more.

“Tell me what you want”

“More please!”

“Of what darling?” he said, his voice raspy and needy yet somehow in control.

“Andrew!”

“Use your words. What do you want?”

“More, I need more of you inside me… fuck I feel so empty.” She begged.

He slid a second finger into her as he left delicate kisses on her breasts. Quickly, she rolled him over so she was on top of the man who sprawled out on the bed, looking at her with a look of shock at what just happened to him.

“Cheeky love.” he grinned devilishly as she began taking his trousers off and his shirt.

“I just really fucking need to feel you.” she said before her lips landed on his and began fighting for dominance in passion.

His hands met her hair, pulling it tightly as he moved his hips under hers. She took off his final layer and lined up with him, looking into his eyes as she took in every inch of him.

“Fuck…” He moaned as his eyes rolled back, each of his hands digging into the skin of her hips as he felt her around him. She sped her pace up, his hips hitting hers in this sinful rhythmic time that both of them craved. He took one hand and tangled it in her hair, bringing her head to his so he could kiss her lips before rolling with her on the bed so he could take over. “Andrew…” she cried out, her arms wrapped around him, their legs tangled, she didn't know where she ended and he began.

This was so much more than just a one-night stand with no connection… she never felt this with Connor before, with anyone before.

“Bridget…” He whimpered as he kissed the skin on her collarbone. At this point Andrew and Bridget were no longer just fucking to satisfy a human need, they became lovers that found it crucial to worship each other in the most intimate ways possible. Their tempo slowed and his thrusts softened as the unspoken realization of this was understood by both.

She felt it build up in her, the tightening in her lower stomach as she got closer. His lips met hers as if to say to give in to the feeling. And she did, she felt the wave of release wash over her. She rode the wave as he felt his, laying down beside her and pulling her to his chest so she rested her head on him. She listened to his heartbeat, his breath slowing down as his that wasn't wrapped around her waist played with her hair.
–

It was 7:59 pm and Bridget was clocking in for her nightly shift at The hot spot, throwing her hair in yet another loose bun before putting her apron around her waist. It had been two days since she last saw Andrew since she felt him.

“Hellooo? Earth to Bridget!” Claire said before snapping her fingers in front of her face, pulling her back into reality. “Sorry, bit distracted… Erm, do you know who's playing tonight?” She asked, looking a little nervous with her question, something Claire noticed. “No… are you alright Bridget? You’ve been asking me that every night… a bit on edge.”

“I have not!”

“You have too, look at you all paranoid… what's got into ya?”

Bridget looked at Claire and sighed, rearranging the straws and utensils in the waiter's station as she spoke. “I’m only telling you this because you’re my friend and if this leaves this conversation you'll have no one to tell it to except the corpses you'll be around 6 ft under.”

“Alright I promise, now tell me.”

Bridget took a deep breath and exhaled quickly. “I slept with one of the band members that were playing two nights ago.”

“Shut up!!”

“Claire” she warned, not wanting to get any attention brought on her. “Sorry! I’m just glad you got some finally.” Claire smiled, before realizing there must have been more to the story based on Bri’s face. “And this is a bad thing… did he do something??”
“God no! I mean… he was… that's besides the point, the point here is I might’ve left… before he woke up” Bridget cringed, now making sure that the pitchers of water were all filled to keep her mind busy.

“Oh will you stop fiddling around, I already did all of that.” Claire said, smacking her hand playfully as she reached for another pitcher to check its water levels. “Now,” She went on, “Was he bad? How did it happen? Why did you leave?”

“God no he was… amazing. My car stalled in the parking lot after closing and he offered to give me a ride after and-”

“You ended up giving him a ride-”

“CLAIRE!” Bridget yelled, bringing the chef's attention to the two girls as she looked at her in shock at the raunchy thing she just insinuated. She looked away in embarrassment, her hands running over her face before looking up at Claire like she was a schoolgirl who just got caught making out with a boy by their parents.

“Yes… I don’t know what got into me! He offered to take me home and then I kissed him and then he invited me in and… my god he was fantastic.”

“So… why did you leave, how’d you get home?”

“I think I was scared… I liked him and I don’t think I'm ready to be in something still. So I took the bus.”

“You could’ve called me.” Claire sighed, following Bridget out to the floor as their shift began. “I know… I just didn’t want to bother you and wake you up at 6 am.” Bridget said as they made their way to the bar where James was mixing drinks.

“Hello lovelies, heard you’re still on green room duty Bridget. Michelle's been pissed about that arrangement.” He said, nodding his head at the last bit, Bridget followed his gaze to see it was in an extremely peeved Michelle's direction. “Don’t know why.” She said, looking back at James. “Didn’t do anything differently.”

“Ah but you apparently did lass because Danny was raving about the review you got from that Houser band.” James chuckled as he continued to pour his mixer into a glass and place it on the tray in front of him. Bridget cringed at this, one because he butchered the band's name, and two, she recognized that drink combo.

“Hozier.” She said as rolled her eyes at James' idiosyncrasy.

“What's that?” James asked in confusion.

“Is that tray for the green room?” She asked, changing the topic as her eyes focused back on the drinks. “Uh, yeah… you okay love?” James asked, looking over to Claire to see if she could tell what was going on but he was only met with the same confused look on her face.

“Thanks.” Bridget said, pulling the tray off the counter and heading to the green room, cursing under her breath as she weaved in and out of the crowd that were getting ready for their Saturday nights to begin, some still hammered from the previous night before.

When she finally made it to the green room she froze, looking at the man who was standing perfectly still as well in the makeshift doorway of the green room.

“Hi.”

Chapter Text

“Hi,” He said breathy, almost as if he was in disbelief that she was really in front of him.

“Can I get passed? I have drinks for you guys.” she said, a little cold as she passed him into the room.

“Hey! There's our favorite lass! Come here you divine angel and bestow us your gifts.” Rory grinned already a little tipsy as he watched her enter the room, Andrew following behind. “Hi, Rory.” She forced a smile as she quickly placed the drinks down on the coffee table. She turned to escape the awkward situation but ran into Andrew in the process.

“Erm, can I have a moment?”

“Now's not a good time.”

“Please?”

She ignored him and maneuvered around him, exiting the green room as she began to wait on other tables. Andrew left in a small amount of shock at her actions, decided to follow her so he could get some form of explanation.

“How’d you get home?”

“Andrew please, I can’t do this right now. I have other tables I need to wait on.” She said, never looking at him before taking the order of the table they stood in front of. As soon as they finished she headed to the bar, Andrew continuing to trail behind.

“Why are you still here.” She said, leaning her weight against the bar as she handed James her order for table 3. “I just want to talk to you for a second.” He said, his body mirroring hers. “Unless you are ordering a drink from me, I don’t have the time.” She stated, her gaze cold.

“I’ll get a cider.”

“What?”

“You said I can't talk to you unless I order something.”

“Everything alright here Bridget?” James inquired as he made his way to the section of the bar they were leaning on. “Yeah James, everything is fine.” She assured, smiling weakly at James as she grabbed the drinks for her table and headed over to them.
He waited at the bar, watching her collect more orders from other tables until she returned to hand them to James.

“Don’t you have a set to play?” she said, her eyes never meeting him. “I just want an answer.” She sighed and then ignored him as he watched her. “Christ Bridget you're driving me crazy.” He pleaded, pulling her attention to him. She looked at him quickly then behind him where her eyes locked on Claires. She made her way to her, asked her to take care of her tables quickly then, turned around and grabbed Andrew's hand before pulling him through the crowd. She dragged him into the women's restroom and locked the door, making Andrew shift nervously.

“What do you want, Andrew.”

“Why’d you run off?”

“Do we really have to do this?”

“Why’d you run off?”

“I didn’t want to make things complicated.”

Andrew scoffed at this, his face washed with confusion. “Darling, sneaking out before I woke makes this a hell of a lot more complicated.”

“Why are you back here anyways? People only play one gig here then move on to better things.” She spat. “Because I like this place, and because I wanted to see you and figure out why you felt you needed to leave without saying anything,” he stated, watching her look at the stalls to make sure there wasn’t anyone in there with them. When she realized they were alone, she turned to face him. “There's nothing to talk about Andrew.”

“You wouldn't have slept with me if you knew I was going to play more gigs here?”

“That's not… I- and what if it was?”

“Can you honestly and in good conscience tell me that that night meant nothing to you?”

“I-” She felt like all the words for good excuses and witty remarks were stolen from her, left defenseless to say nothing but the truth as she looked into his green eyes. They were somber, searching to see if she could give any inkling of his questions that were tearing at him. She sighed as she leaned against the bathroom wall, overhearing the crowd scream the words to ‘Chocolate’ by The 1975 that was playing in the main room.

“It's complicated.”

“I can manage complicated.”

“Trust me you can't manage this.” She scoffed, leaning her head against the tile. He ran a hand through his hair and then looked at her, his emotions clear as he was wearing his heart on his sleeve, something he swore he would stop doing with girls he just met.

“I’m going insane thinking about that night and I need to know if I’m the only one that’s in this insanity or if you're there with me-”

“Yes! I am okay!? It meant something to me!”

“Then why’d you leave?” He asked, looking at her with anticipation as he watched her every move to see if anything she’d do would give herself away.

“Like I said Andrew, It's complicated-”

“But it isn't, you're making it seem like I’d leave you at the first sign of struggle. You felt something and so did I. You ran out without saying a word and I was worried because I didn't know how you got home. I- I just wish you’d explain it to me.” He made his way to her, his hands resting on her cheeks as he sighed, his thumb tracing over her cheekbone, wiping the tear that fell down her cheek.

She always cried when she was nervous or angry, something she absolutely loathed about herself because it made her feel so insignificant and weak.

“I’m not trying to yell at you I just... I just want to know if you still feel it or if I just need to wonder about why you left and move on.”

“I can’t”

“You can’t tell me if I need to move on?”

“It's complicated.” she cried, her heart feeling a little uneasy as he pulled his hands away from her face.

“Then I need to-”

“I have a daughter.” She spat, shutting her eyes tightly as soon as the words left her mouth. Andrew was in shock, his mind racing with a million questions. He looked over at her and noticed her reaction and how she seemed almost in pain to tell him this. He wanted to take that feeling away from her but he didn't know how… he felt almost helpless.

“How old is she?” He asked, making her open her eyes to look at him. She was confused on why he didn't run out like the other men she told before. “She just turned 3 a week ago.” She said, crossing her arms in front of her after wiping a second tear off her cheek, her eyes glued to the floor.

“And the father? Is… is he still in the picture?”

“God no… I mean he has custody to see her every other weekend and every Tuesday and Wednesday. But no, I left him when she was 6 months old. ”

He paused, looking at the same spot she was on the floor before thinking over his words. “So… you're saying that nothing between us can happen between us because you have a daughter?”

“I’m saying you don’t need to be dragged into a mistake I made when I was 19.”

“Y-you were 19?”

“Yeah that's kinda how math works.” She chuckled sarcastically, making Andrew giggle at her remark.

“Are you doing this on your own?” He asked sincerely.

“My mom watches her while I'm here and I pick her up after my shift is over at 1 and bring her home. Sometimes my sister helps out with her husband cus she's a stay-at-home mom to her 2 kids, but I try not to be too much of a burden to her.”

“And your daughter, what's her name?”

“Molly.”

“Beautiful name.” He smiled, making her smile in return. She paused, looking him over to see if there was any part of him that looked like he was ready to run.

“Still think it's not too complicated?”

“I’m still here aren't I?”

“I’m not ready.” She blurted before rambling on. “Connor was… a mess and I’m still trying to recover from that. And I have strict boundaries with Molly.” She warned him.

“I understand. I’m not asking you to jump into the deep end, kid or not. I just want to know if there is a chance or if I need to move on to see you as just a friend.”

“You still want to be around me?”

“Yeah, anyone that likes Van Morrison for more than ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ is someone worth getting to know in my opinion.” He smiled.

They stood in the silence, his eyes trying to read her.

“Can… can I hold you one more time… before we walk out of here as friends?” He asked, hoping he didn't overstep a boundary. His answer came as she quickly wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into his touch. He tried to memorize this moment, the way she felt against him, how she smelled like patchouli and citrus. He felt at home with her.

He wished he could just remain in that moment for the rest of his life, until they drew their last breaths, their heartbeats becoming slow. They lay there for days or hours until the two of them were discovered completely entangled in each other's embrace.

“I should get back.” She said, pulling him back to reality. “Danny would kill me if he realized I wasn’t out there and I kinda need this job.” She giggled, making him smile.

“Yeah, I’ve got a set to play.”

“Sing a song for me?” she asked as she pulled away.

“I can see about adding something to the set, what's your request?” He smirked.

“Caravan? It's my favorite Morrison song.” She smiled, and so did he. “I will convince the lads to play it.”

She made her way past him and unlocked the restroom door, but just before she left she looked back at him and smirked. “I can't wait.”

And then she left, meeting up with Claire to get her tables back as he went back to convince the lads to play her song.

“It's 5 minutes long mate.” Rory protested as he looked to Alex to see where he stood on this proposition.

“Please, it’s for Bridget.” Andrew pleaded. Alex sighed and looked at Rory. “You know the drum part?”

“Do I look like a fuckin jukebox?”

“Fine, Andrew you’re playing guitar I’ll back on piano… you figure out why she left?” Alex asked, making his way to the shitty upright that sat in the green room before playing its slightly out of tuned keys to the melody of Caravan.

“Yeah… we're putting it behind us though, just staying friends.” Andrew said, picking up his guitar to join Alex.

“Oh yeah… sure” Alex scoffed playfully.

“Shut it.” Andrew blushed, smiling to himself.

-

It was about twenty minutes later when she heard the familiar chords play through the sound system, causing her to pause. They had been playing for about 10 already, making her wonder if he was able to get the rest of the band to abide by her request.

He found her in the crowd, smiling as he began to sing, noticing how her face lit up as she watched him from the bar.

“So… you seem happy… have a quickie in the bathroom?”

“Claire!”

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t resist," Claire laughed, leaning against the bar beside her before she continued. “Get things sorted?”

“I think so… we're just going to be friends.”

“Bull shit!”

“It’s true! We're just friends, we put that night behind us as if it never happened.”

Claire paused, looking between Bridget and Andrew as he continued to perform, noting how Andrew looked like he was trying to make love with her with his eyes as he ogled her from the stage. “So you're telling me that you have absolutely no influence over the song that this ‘friend’ of yours is playing?”

Bridget looked at her, dumbfounded on how she could possibly know that she suggested it.

“Oh come on! I don’t know anyone that honestly listens to Van Morrsion other than his most popular songs around here.”

“You know me too well Claire.” Bridget giggled.

“Mhm, enough to know that you’re not the full shilling if you think you two are ‘Just friends’ “

“I told him about Molly.” Bridget blurted.

It was Claire’s turn to look at her friend in shock as the words registered. “You did what!” She asked, knowing how protective she is about her toddler.

“You didn’t even tell Marcus and you were goin’ out with him for two months.”

“Yeah… I don’t know why I trusted him… there’s something about him.” Bridget sighed, her attention on Claire now as she thought about Andrew and hers conversation. “He didn’t run… I gave him an out and he wanted to stay.” She went on, looking back up as he sang the line about the caravan being painted red and white.

“For my sanity… you need to be more than just friends.” Claire groaned making Bridget furrow her brow in confusion. “Why on earth is my friendship with him causing you to loose your sanity?”

“Because some men might wait for a girl to reciprocate the same feelings, it’s practically non existent what he is.”

“And that would be?”

“A guy who’s willing to wait for a girl who’s got a kid. Most would move on and might see it as a blessing… but this one… I think he’s going to stick around.”

Chapter Text

It was almost like radio silence for a whole day and it was driving Andrew crazy. As he watched the wooden analog clock add minutes to its sum, he drew a great sigh before reaching for his phone. He opened it to that silly contact photo he took of her when they exchanged numbers after the gig, chuckling as she flipped off the camera with her tongue sticking out and creating a new message, taking a deep breath before texting her.

Andrew: Sooooooo… how's life?

As soon as he hit send the clock was no longer measuring in standard time, it started the countdown for the longest, most anxiety-filled, 2 minutes of his life. His salvation was the text tone to a new message.

Bridget: I was wondering if you decided to take that out I gave you ;)
Bridget: life is a bit exhausting, Molly is starting that thing where she’s not sleeping through the night again.

He felt the wave of anxiety wash over him and was left with that giddy feeling in his stomach as he continued to text her.

Andrew: never :)
Andrew: Sorry to hear about Molly, I was going to see if you’ll be free Friday, Rory and his girlfriend invited me and Alex out.

She paused, looking up from her phone, her gaze moving to Molly from the dining room table, who was attempting her best to ‘read’ the picture book to her stuffed animals in the living room (which sounded more like incoherent babbling than words.) before looking at the contact picture she took of him making a ridiculous face with his eyes crossed.

Bridget: I’ve got Molly this weekend :(
Bridget: Sorry

Andrew: Why are you apologizing for being with your daughter?

Bridget: I don’t really know…
Bridget: shes ‘reading’ right now

Andrew: Bridget I think your 3-year-old is the new Einstein if she is reading rn

She giggled at his witty remark before snapping a photo of Molly in her brown corduroy overalls and green long-sleeve shirt, sitting on the floor in the middle of her circle of stuffed toys and a book.

Bridget: if you think toddler rambling is the new theory of relativity… yes, yes she is lol
//attachment sent//

He opened the photo and smiled warmly at the cozy living room on his phone. Bridget had a green couch with countless pillows and blankets, creating a sense of coziness that he wanted to fall into. She had two big bookshelves with a TV in the middle and lots of plants in every open space that a photo, souvenir, or book couldn't fill. In the middle, lit by white strands of Christmas lights that he determined were not a decoration that was waiting to be put away but a permanent feature, was little Molly surrounded by a giraffe, a pink elephant, a big brown dog, and 3 cat stuffed animals.

He smiled at the calmness of it, the serenity she created in something so chaotic. He mentally praised her for being so strong and not letting life get the upper hand.

Andrew: she looks like she’s having a fun time

Bridget: she was… now we are on a mission for ‘hot popcorn’ before our Connolly dinner and finding Nemo

Andrew: do I dare ask what hot popcorn is or should I not question the ways of the 3-year-old Einstein

Bridget: lol, hot popcorn is the microwave bags, she gets mad if you give her the stuff that’s already popped when she wants it so it’s serious biz

She smiled, placing the bag in the microwave before getting four places set at her dining table for their Weekly Sunday girl's night dinner with Molly, her mom, and sister. The tradition started after her father Peter died 4 years ago and it stuck ever since.

Andrew: Well I'll let you two have fun with your movie and your “Connolly” dinner. I do hope to see you soon, Are you working on Wednesday?

Bridget: I have Sundays and Wednesdays off :(
Bridget: but I would love to see you as well... Next weekend is supposed to be mine with Molly but Connor and I are swapping so He can have the 22nd free. Idk if you'd be free at all.

His heart picked up at the last text, his mind running at 100 kph he didn't realize that he was texting her what he was until he hit the send button.

Andrew: well I’ve got a gig that weekend on the 15th, it's for Trinity College and their Pink floyd event. but Alex and Rory will be there if you want to come and enjoy the music, we could go out for drinks after.

He waited, hoping that the little text bubble would pop up in the left corner so he knew she was texting him back.

Bridget: I’ll see if Claire or Michelle can cover me, I'd love to be there :)
Bridget: I gtg my sister and Mom just arrived
Andrew: Have fun :)

“Mary!” Molly cried out as she tumbled to the door from her reading circle, her arms spread out wide for a hug from her aunt. Mary picked up Molly and held her in her arms as the two made their way into the small Alleyway kitchen that Bridget was in, Beth waiting in the entryway with the meal she prepared for the girls.

“Gammy and Mary are here!” the toddler beamed as she saw her mother, Silverware for the four of them in hand. Bridget gave Mary a side hug before setting down the spoons for each spot.

Beth set the blue Pyrex dish of Coddle in the middle of the table as Mary set Molly in her chair. They all took their seats and then began filling their bowls. There was something so simplistic about this ritual that Bridget loved.

“So, how's Aiofe and Ciara?” Her mother asked Mary. Bridget was glad the topic of conversation was not on her and the night she didn’t come home till 5 am.

“They are good, Aiofe is excited to start schooling soon and doesn't understand why she has to wait a whole year instead of enrolling as a 4-year-old. And Ciara has been begging me to put her in ballet because her friend Erin is in it.” She groaned at the end.

Mary was 27, only 5-ish years older than Bridget, and was the poster child for the older sister. She married her husband Donavon who was an accountant right out of secondary. When she was 20 and had her first daughter Ciara and her second daughter Aoife when she was 23. Everything was perfectly planned in her life, right down to the snacks and meals that she would prep on Sunday mornings for the rest of the week.

“Oh well you wanted to do horse riding when you were seven because of Jane McCarthy” Beth recalled, smiling a little at the memory. “Where are they tonight?” She asked, knowing that they loved the Connolly dinners.

“Donny wanted to take them to his Ma and Da’s tonight,” Mary said a little defeated, making Bridget look up to her sister with concern.

“Did you ever get your car fixed Britty?” Mary asked, making Bridget's stomach churn. Her empathy turned into a look of annoyance.

“Ehm, yeah… the battery was burnt out.” She said quickly, hoping to change the subject until Her mother cleared her throat.

“Was that the day that you came to pick Molly up at 5 am?” She asked, in that motherly tone that can make anyone's hair stand up.

“Yeah, I texted you that I was unable to get her till that morning.”

“You could've called me I would have given you a ride,” Mary said, a little too preppy for Bridget’s tolerance.

“I didn’t want to be a bother.”

“Look if you wanted to be out with friends after work that is all I would’ve needed to know. I already take her from 6 pm till you get off at 1 am.”

“Ma, look I’m sorry I got a ride back after crashing at Claire’s.” She hated lying to her mother.

“You still needed me to take you here after, then to the mechanics to pick up your car” Beth added, raising her tone a little.

Bridget sighed, putting her head in her hand as she messed around with the food in the bowl in front of her. It was no use to say anything, she knew how this conversation was going to go.

“I love you Britty… I just thought that this was going to be a temporary situation. Two nights a week I have to watch my granddaughter and another two nights every other weekend while you're working at The Hot Spot. Why don’t you let Donavon get you a job at his office you’ll be able to work normal hours there and do something valuable with your life. You were going to UCD, you had so much potential.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I let you down but I am not sorry that I got pregnant. Molly is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now I’m trying not to be an inconvenience to you anymore and working hard so I can write like I always wanted to and hopefully get a job at the independent.” She spat, then continued to eat her food, trying to wash the overwhelming feeling of uselessness from her mind.

"I can't go back to school because I can't afford it. I'm so sorry Ma that I disappointed you by dropping out of UCD, I know you were so proud when I got in... but I have to take a different route. I've been talking with Claire and shes pretty sure that she can swing a meeting with her brother who works for the Examiner to review my writing portfolio. If he likes it, I might be able to intern there with no degree and start doing what I want."

“Britty, I’m not disappointed in you. I just hopped for better things.”

“Ma that’s the definition of disappointment.”

Mary sighed, fidgeting with Molly who was happily eating her dinner with no grasp on the gravity of the conversation that was surrounding her.

“We just want to see you succeed, thats all Britty.”

“Then let me.”

–
She pulled her phone out of her pocket, stepping out of Molly’s room after she attempted for 30 minutes to get the toddler to sleep. She didn’t even think, as if it was muscle memory she opened her messages with him and started typing.

Bridget: Hey :P

She waited a few seconds before deciding to get ready for bed, putting on a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tank top on. When she looked back at the phones she smiled, seeing his name on her screen. She immediately pushed the giddy feeling out of her head as she recognized it as the first step for falling for someone.

Andrew: Hey Bri :)
Andrew: how’s the movie going?

She felt the blush on her cheeks as she read the new nickname that he gave her. Bridget loathed nicknames. She would Cringe at most as ‘Bridget’, in her opinion, always gave her the world's most awful ones possible. Depending on the person, she would be called one of the following:

1. Birdie
2. Britt or Britty
3. Bridge
5. Gett

Birdie made her feel as if she were a 90-year-old Gammy in a northern cottage, Bridge felt like you were affectionately calling someone an appliance, And Gett was never something she identified with, even though Joan Jett was one of her favorite musicians. Britty was the only one allowed as her Father started calling her that when she was 8 years old and the name stuck.

And yet her disdain for anyone calling her a shortened version of her name was nonexistent as she read his words.

Bridget: It went okay, I just got her to sleep so I have approximately 6 hours till she wakes me up for something.

Andrew: sounds like the dream

Bridget: I’m assuming that was sarcasm

Andrew: What??? Noooooooooo

Bridget: you are such a dork
Bridget: Hey Clarie said she would cover for me on Friday :)

Bridget looked up from her phone and took a mental note of the chaotic state her flat was in from the evening's events. Molly had convinced Mary and her mom to a dance party. The party was held for about 15 minutes until it was promptly interrupted by Mary’s Husband, in the middle of them dancing to ‘Everywhere’ By Fleetwood Mac, who called her to come home as he was unable to figure out how to get both of their girls ready for bed all by himself.

As Mary carpooled with her Mom, both left in a hurry leaving Bridget with a mess and a very heartbroken toddler.

Andrew: Great! Are you okay if Alex picks you up?

Bridget: Hey I hate to do this but can we call? I wanna keep talking but I have an absolute mess to clean up

Within seconds her phone started buzzing with his call. She smiled, then answered the call and put her phone on speaker so she could walk around hands-free.

“Hello.” She smiled, as she began collecting some of the pillows that were tossed around.

“Hello, so… would you be okay with Alex coming to pick you up on Friday? The gig’s in Dublin by the way.” He asked, anticipating her answer as he was ecstatic she was able to come to the performance.

“Uhhh yeah, I live in Delgany, so if he’s okay with that.”

“He should be fine with that,” Andrew said, not even attempting to check if Alex was willing to drive to the town south of where they lived. She smiled, then quickly made her face into a neutral expression as she realized the effect he was having on her.

“I’m excited, anything I need to bring?”

“Just your lovely self.”

Chapter Text

“Hey looser, you ready for some caric.” Alex smiled as she opened the door. She laughed a little as she carefully got into the passenger seat of his car, making sure the skirt of her dress didn't fly up as she sat down.

“Hey, Alex.”

“Jesus, are you really wearing that?” he said looking her over making her feel a little self-conscious.

“Uhh… I was going to… Why does it look bad? Do I need to change??” She began to worry, looking down at the maroon dress she decided to wear.

“God no, I mean if you think you can keep Andrew acting like he’s in the friend zone with you in that… no, you definitely need to change.” He chuckled, making Bridget sigh as unbuckled her seat belt and reached for the door handle. Before she could successfully open the door, Alex smirked, throwing his car out of the park and into the drive as he began speeding away from her apartment.

“But I-” She began, quickly buckling herself in.

“No, you don’t.” Alex interrupted, making Bridget blush as she realized what he was insinuating.

“So, you ready for the gig?” He asked a few minutes later as they started their 35-minute drive to Dublin. She fiddled with the hem of her dress, still overthinking her outfit, her mind building combinations on something that could be deemed ‘friendly’… maybe a pair of skinny jeans and a black top?

“It’s for Trinity College, right?” Bridget smiled, looking over at the brunette in the driver's seat.

“Yeah, we're going to get there a bit early, I’m playing guitar for this one but you should be able to see Andrew before he goes on.”

“You’re playing in this one?”

“Yeah, I just came from sound check to pick you up.” He chuckled as he watched her expression change into a face of shock. She hated being a burden to people.

“Are you serious? Why would you… but…” She began to ramble, attempting to come up with the words on why he went out of his way to take her there.

“Trust me, I haven’t seen Andrew this happy since… well ever, so I’m glad to steal you away for the evening to get you there like.”

She smiled at his kindness before looking out at the countryside as they traveled down the N11, admiring the Great Sugarloaf in the distance as they passed the mountain on the motorway.

“How did you meet Andrew?” She asked, turning her attention back to him. He smiled quickly at the memory, a devious look unfurled his face before he began to speak.

“Well, we met in Trinity. He was in one of my courses but he dropped out in about 2009 or 2010. He wanted to pursue his music and started playing gigs by himself. I didn’t really know him around this time but I kept meeting him through mutual friends at parties, concerts, and clubs. Flash forward a few years of me getting to know him better each time we met, one day last year he asked me if I would be interested in playing on some stuff with him and a cellist as a drummer. Since then we added Rory and I moved to bass.”

“You played drums originally?”

“Yep… I’m glad we got Rory, drums are not my thing. No one wants to be a Ringo” He chuckled making her giggle. She wondered what Andrew was like back then, if he was similar to the man she was starting to get to know, or maybe he was a bit ragged… perhaps shy?

“So tell me about you?” He asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Uh me?”

“Nah the granny from three kilometers back, yes you.”

“There’s not much about me that’s interesting. I mean… I got pregnant when I was 19 and dropped out of UCD my first semester… but I would love to go back, I just don't have the time after Molly was born and ya know, being a single mom.” She went on, the familiar friend of embarrassment filling up every inch of her mind as she admitted the decisions that brought her to who she was at that very moment.

“Shit you were at UCD? That place is…”

“Really hard to get into?”

“Yeah… what were you studying?” He asked, looking over at her to make sure he wasn't overstepping before looking back on the road.

“Journalism. I wanted to go for entertainment and write about music or, a conflict and advocacy route. Just writing anything really.” she said bittersweetly as she thought of what could been. “I haven’t really told anyone that… not even Andrew yet…. I mean the journalism thing, not the kid thing.” She rambles on, her fingers frantically playing with the hem of her dress again to help calm her down.

“Ah so you’re a dropout like Andrew, you two really are perfect together.” He teased, trying to get her out of her frazzled headspace. She smiled, letting the tension in her shoulders go as he mentioned him.

__

It wasn't much longer before the two found themselves arriving at the concert hall the performance was at, starting the ride as acquaintances and exiting the vehicle as friends. She was nervous as she entered the building, going through the entrance with Alex as they made their way to the back where Andrew was waiting for them. The hall was breathtaking, the pale stonework with large glass windows creating an almost Church-like feel to its architecture even though it was a theater. She took it in as she followed Alex, her attention pulled in an instant.

“Ah! It's our green room angel!” She heard from a distance, looking over Alex’s shoulder to see Rory standing up to greet them and a girl she assumed was his date sitting where he just was. She smiled and felt Rory’s arms wrap around her in his grasp. “How you doing love?” He asked as he directed her towards the girl that was with him. “I’ve been fine.”

“Thats wonderful. Now Aisling, this is the Bridget that we all have been talking about for the past few weeks.” He said in an attempted introduction. Bridget cringed at his words but Ashling’s face lit up as she looked over her.

“You’re the girl that Andrews gushing over!” She exclaimed, making Alex and Rory hush her as Bri giggled with embarrassment.

“Shhh Aisling, they are just friends,” Alex said, though Bri and pretty much everyone in that room could tell that he was teasing. “Where is the poor fella anyways?”

“He went to go get some tea from the kitchens downstairs. You know singers with their diva vocal chords.” Rory smirked, wrapping his arm affectionately around Aisling before he placed a kiss on her cheek. Bridget smiled at how natural this interaction was.

“I heard diva vocal chords so I’m assuming Rory is being a dosser again.” A man said behind her, making her heart race in excitement as she recognized that voice.

She turned around to see him, his tall frame was wearing black dress pants and a white button-down that was rolled at the sleeves. His hair was a little tamer than usual curls that he affectionately referred to as a clump of hair that was found attached to a lolly in the underside of a car seat, and had a large smile across his face that was absolutely infectious to anyone who had the pleasure to look at it. She felt a wave of happiness wash over her as she looked at him in person for the first time in two weeks instead of the contact photo that sat above their text messages.

He made his way over to his crowd of friends before standing beside Bridget and putting his arm around her to pull her into a hug. “Glad you could make it álainn.” He beamed, looking her over and taking in every inch of the dress she was wearing, the way it fell, and complimented every curve of her body. ‘Christ this is not going to be easy’ he thought as her face lit up.

“You know it’s not fair to the rest of us when you speak Irish, not everyone can be the 30% percent that actually remembered it after secondary school” she jested, blushing as she realized his arm was still wrapped around her shoulder, mirroring Rory and Aisling.

“Ah, ach a spraoi a praiseach leat.” He smirked devilishly as she playfully rolled her eyes.

Alex looked up at the clock and sighed, “I don’t want to break up the fun here but, it's 10 minutes till call.”

“And that's our cue, Break a leg, boys,” Rory said as he and Aisling rose to their feet.

“Let me know what you think!” Andrew smiled down sweetly at Bri before Aisling took her hand and led her out to the hall, Andrew’s arm feeling unusually empty to him as she left his side.

“You’re doomed aren’t you.” Alex teased, getting his Fender guitar out of the case to tune it one last time before they went on the stage. Andrew's face contorted to a look of confusion as he watched him.

“You’re never going to be just friends. I see the way you look at her.” Alex said, making Andrew look back to the door she exited through. He knew Alex was right… but he had to try for her. He decided that night at the Hot spot that a life with her, even if she was only a friend, was better than a life without.

__

“So what do you do?” Aisling asked as they walked through the aisles to find their seats. “Ehm, at the moment I’m a waitress,” Bridget responded, her eye following the letters on the floor as she looked for the letter ‘R’

“And when you aren’t being, as my boyfriend would call it, a Greenroom angel?”

“Christ don’t call me that it makes me sound like a stripper.” Bridget scoffed making Aisling giggle at her remark, earning a ‘hey!’ from Rory as he continued to find their seats. Bridget then went on to explain how her dream job would be for Rolling Stone Magazine in the 1970s but applying to be a writer in the 2010s would have to suffice.

“Thats right you're the Morrison and Cranberries girl!” Aisling stated, making Bri confused. “Andrew told us about the first night you met, how we replaced St. Vincent in your band lineup,” Rory added as they shuffled into the row before sitting down. “It was big for him, meaning you mentioned 3 of his inspirations in a single sentence.”

Bridget was coming to the realization of how much Andrew talked about her. Sure, Rory was saying that when she walked in but, she didn’t believe the possibility that they weren’t teasing her. Weirdly enough she felt okay with it, even though she hated being in the spotlight. The most privet details about her, such as Molly and Connor, never came up in conversation just the little things that she thought would go unnoticed by any average man… then again he definitely wasn’t.

“So,” Bridget began, looking over to Aisling who was leaning her blonde head on Rory’s shoulder. “What do you do?”

“I’m a teacher for primary.” She beamed, obviously ecstatic to be in the line of work she was in. To be fair she had a very bubbly personality so this answer came as no shock when Aisling said this.

“Where do you teach at?”

“Delgany’s National, the same place Andrew and I used to go. Definitely was a strange full circle.” Aisling giggled.

“Thats Crazy that’s where my Nices are going. Do you know Ciara McCormick?”

“Yes! She is a grade below in Mr. Heany’s class, I might have her next year.”

Aisling and Bridget continued chatting about how Andrew had known Aisling since they were 5 and the cairc he would get up to until the lights lowered, letting them know the performance was about to begin.

Bridget drew her attention to the stage, her eyes sifting through each person who came on, looking for Andrew and Alex. Andrew was doing the same from the wings, looking through the crowd to see if he could spot her in her seat… Rory and Aisling too. At least that’s what he told himself.

The orchestra filed in, taking their seats and tuning their instruments before they started to play the beginnings of Pink Floyd’s ‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond Pt. 1-5’ Andrew’s eyes locked on hers as they played through the instrumental beginning of the song. Alex’s guitar began whaling through the cathedral, pulling Bridget’s attention to him as he emersed himself in his playing.

The music came to a slow, Andrew’s cue to start as he lifted the mic and began to sing what Bridget could only begin to describe as melodies from unearthly ethereal beings. Then again… it was her favorite Pink Floyd song other than in ‘The Flesh.’

Regardless of her biases, she watched him in awe as he managed to hit every note effortlessly as if the melody he was singing was not 3 steps higher than the usual male vocal range. Rory took notice of this and nudged Aisling's side to look over at the girl who was completely enthralled in his performance.

“You think she’ll be able to keep her decision?” Rory whispered to Aisling.

“Absolutely not.” She smirked, watching the way Bridget’s face lit up when he sang with his eyes locked on her.

Bridget’s smile was positively beaming, she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this type of happiness. Sure, there were those moments when Molly would do something like say her first words or take her first steps but, there was something about this. She felt like she was her age again. Since Molly, she was never able to truly live like the 22-year-old she was, and here surrounded by new friends, going out for the first time in almost a year she felt young.

__

Somehow, she found herself in Andrew’s car on their way back from Dublin as Alex rode back with Rory and Aisling. The silence between the both of them was defining. Bridget was convinced she would go mad if it continued for another second so she reached for the radio and turned it on to the station it was set to.

‘That Was My Heart’ by Ella Fitzgerald played through the speakers making Bri smile.

“I always had a soft spot for old jazzy tunes like this.” He said.

“My dad…” she paused, realizing she hadn’t spoken to Andrew about him yet, taking a breath before continuing. “He always said that any good music that we have today came from these songs, ‘Let’s Get Lost’ by Chet Baker, ‘Stella by Starlight’ by Fitzgerald… I mean he wasn’t wrong, it captivated an entire generation for a reason.”

“Good music to dance in the dim light with a bottle of wine.”

“Exactly!” She laughed in agreement. “I was almost named Stella… my ma wanted a good Irish name so she chose Bridget. Why she chose the ugliest one beats me.”

“I love your name.” He said a little too fast, making her head turn quickly to look at him. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“Not like Andrew, that at least sounds pretty to say.”

“Before it heard it leave your mouth I thought it was such an awful sound.”

She looked at him, watching how focused he was on the road in awe as if he hadn’t said something so poetic.

“I like it…” she began, drawing her attention back to the road so she couldn’t look at him as she confessed her thoughts, “when you called me Bri.” She said, making Andrew smile.

“Britty is what my dad used to call me and I hated it and now my entire family calls me it… I hated nicknames till you called me that.”

“Well, you’ll have to tell him to call you Bri,” Andrew smirked.

“I can’t…” Bridget trailed off trying to figure out the best way to tell Andrew. “He sorta… died when I was 17.”

“Christ, I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine, please don’t act like I’m some fragile thing I hate it when people change after I tell them.”

“Bri you’ve proven to me a few times that you are far from fragile.” He said, putting his hand on hers, holding it in his. She began to realize this about Andrew, how he always needed to touch in some way, especially when the conversation was difficult. He was something unnatural to her but in a good way, he was new and created a sense of serenity she hadn’t felt since… well ever.

It wasn’t much later when Andrew parked his car in the street below her apartment. He looked over at her, his hand still holding hers. “Thank you for coming.” He smiled noticing how the light casted onto her face, lighting all her features in a soft glow.

“Trust me it was my pleasure. I could listen to you sing for hours.”

She laughed as she thought to herself, looking down at her hands as she fidgeted with her dress, a nervous habit Andrew noted. “He used to go on these drives with me”

He watched her intently, trying to read her and listen as carefully as he could.

“My Ma and Mary didn’t get music as we did so we would escape for an hour and just listen… Queen, the Smiths, Van Morrison, the Beatles… we listened to a lot of Pink Floyd and,”

Her breath became shaky as she remembered the long talks they had driving through the countryside.

“He… god this sounds sappy never mind.”

“No please.” He said, squeezing her hand to reassure her.

“I think he would have really enjoyed tonight if he could come. Listening to the music he loved, and seeing the friends I made. He would absolutely love you and ask me why I wasn’t dating you.” She scoffed at the last part then realized what she said, mentally cursing herself as she overstepped the boundaries.

He smiled, nervously running a hand through his hair as he listened to her. “He sounded like a real nice bloke, I wish I could’ve met him.”

“Me too.”

Chapter Text

“Can you hand me that yoke?” Aisling asked as she pointed to the chips on the table. After the performance a week ago the lot had adopted Bri as one of their own and were inviting her out every chance they could. Today was an easy Sunday, planned for a quick stop at the fish and chips shop before going down the list of record and thrift stores they compiled one night.

Andrew passed the chips over to the other side of the booth before resting his head on Bridget’s shoulder.

“Can I help you?” She giggled.

“Mhm… tired.” He replied.

“You can’t be tired Andrew, we have like 6 places to go to after this,” Asiling smirked, watching Bridget lean her head on his. She placed her hand on his cheek that wasn’t on her, making  Alex, Rory, and Asiling watch them intently as they shared a tender moment. Bridget noticed their gaze and justified her actions as motherly instincts, not a romantic gesture. 

He leaned his head ever so slightly into her hand, just enough so only she and him would know. He craved this type of touch from her. His mind began flooding with the memories of her in his bed, wrapped in his arms as they looked almost lovingly in each other's eyes. How she played with his hair till he fell asleep. Oh, and how she looked under him.

“Come on lazy, let’s get going.” Bridget smiled, tapping his face and pulling him away from his thoughts. He opened his eyes and saw the rest of the group getting their coats on to brave the late February weather. 

A few blocks later they found themselves at the second stop for the evening. “This is the store I was telling you about earlier.” Bridget said to Andrew, looking up at the sign that said ‘Nine Crows’. The interior was colorful and cheery, with clothes that were carefully picked and scattered in racks around the room. Andrew took her hand and led her into the shop, following behind the others. 

“Andrew, look at these like,” Alex said holding a pair of boots above his head so he could see over the racks. He squeezed her hand before letting it go, making his way over to Alex. 

“Okay,” Aisling said, taking the space where Andrew just was as they continued looking through the hangers. “Why is it again that you choose to blindly ignore the fact you two would be perfect together?” 

“Aisling!” 

“What?? I’m just asking the obvious question that’s been on literally everyone’s mind.” She said as if her ‘outlandish accusation’ wasn’t a reasonable question. Bridget knew she was finding herself getting too ‘friendly’ with Andrew, especially after the Trinity concert, ‘but was that so bad?’ She thought to herself before remembering they were just friends and she was the one that deemed it as so. 

“I mean look at him, if I wasn’t with Rory and didn’t grow up with him, I'd think he’s a good looker… now that he’s grown and doesn’t look like a twig.” 

“No, he’s just a tree now,” Bridget smirked, making Aisling giggle. 

“Has he always done that ehm thing? Like I know I fall victim to it a few times but my goodness does he say it a bit.” Bridget asked, teasing a little, making Aisling laugh a bit more. 

“It’s cute, it makes me smile every time he says it,” Bridget added before being interrupted.

“Goodbye ehm, hello ehm, see you ehm, what’s that ehm,” Aisling went on, causing Bridget to burst into a fit of laughter. 

Andrew, Rory, and Alex looked over at the two girls who began laughing one of those laughs that were completely contagious to anyone that was in a meter radius and clouded their minds to find every word spoken to be absolutely hilarious. 

“Ehm, are you lot alright?” Andrew smirked, fighting the urge to giggle at their outburst. Instead of receiving the answer he was looking for, the words caused the two to cackle into tears, nearly falling onto the floor as they laughed so hard they couldn’t breathe. 

“I’m lost, mate,” Rory said, smiling at Aisling's joy.

“Aye, you’re causing a ruckus.” Alex chuckled, being the first of the boys to fall victim to the girls' antics. Rory was next, a soft giggle that turned into deep laughs until Andrew became infected with the joy himself after taking a pause to admire the way he managed to ignite a feeling of wonder-filled bliss in everyone she met. ‘My lovers got humor’ he smirked.

—

It wasn’t until a few shops later, and much-shared laughter, that they headed to ‘Freebird Records’ on Wicklow Street. Bridget found herself immediately drawn to the soul section and bee-lined for Otis Redding, on the hunt for a used copy of ‘Otis Blue’ so she could tick that check mark off of her vinyl wishlist. Andrew felt a warmth in his heart as he watched her dart off to his favorite genre of music, something he realized was a feeling that one experienced when one fell a little more for someone. He cursed himself for letting him fall under her intoxicating spell, even though she had no clue she was casting it.

“Anything catch your fancy a stór?” He inquired, making his way back to her, his fingers moving over each album in the bin beside her. “Ehm yeah… looking for ‘Otis Blue’” she said, sifting through to find the familiar album cover.

“Here you go.” He smiled, holding out the album for her. Her eyes lit up until she saw the plastic wrap around the sleeve making her expression fall. 

“Something wrong?” He asked, noticing her shift in demeanor. 

“It’s new.”

“Wouldn’t you want it new? Takes the question of scratches out.” He smiled, but instead of the grin he was looking for to appear on her face she looked down she kept searching.

“Ehm, did I do something wrong?” He said, making her head whip around quickly. 

“God no! I- I just can’t afford a new one.” She looked ashamed. She didn’t realize they were going to so many shops and spent her spending money on a present for her Brother-in-law for his 28th birthday in two weeks and a Levi Jean jacket with Sherpa lining for… well him because she thought it suited him. 

“Oh.” He said, putting it under his arm without a second thought, Bridget to focused to realize. “Who got you into soul? Not a lot of people around here like that.” She paused to look at him before continuing,” l mean I could hear the influence, especially in your Jackie and Wilson song.”

“My dad, he was in a blues band.” He smiled fondly. “He was a teller by day in the local bank and would play music at the gas light.” She noticed how his tone was bittersweet, understanding it from personal experience. 

“And does he still play?” 

“Ehm… no.” He paused, smiling weakly before talking, “He had to get emergency surgery on his spine and it ended up being a botched operation causing a lot of nerve damage and pain.” 

She could tell the memory was unpleasant so she placed her hand on top of his to comfort him, making him look down at her. 

“You don’t have to go on, trust me I understand.” She stated, trying to elevate some of his emotional discomforts. 

“Ach, it’s fine really, only a few know about it. Aisling, because she was there when it happened meaning I was 6 or 7 at the time,  Alex because he’s my best mate, and Rory but that’s because I’m stuck with the bigger after we gained him as our drummer.” He jested, making Bri chuckle. 

“He’s in a wheelchair now.” Andrew blurted after a moment of silence. 

“I think music was an escape so he just turned to records and things like that. He showed me Nina and your favorite, Van. We’d listen up in the attic for hours.” He took her hand on his, looking at it before he held it tightly for a few moments, then let it go. They continued looking through records until he determined his pile was completed. He looked at her and smiled a devious look at her, causing her to giggle. 

“Oh, I know that means nothing good.” She teased. 

“Come with me.” He said as he grabbed her free hand and dragged her to the stairs that led them to the basement part of the store. 

“Where are we going?” 

“There’s a player down here so you can listen to the used records before buying them.” He said as he led her down the stairs. 

They got to the record player, Andrew taking a used record of ‘Be Altitude: Respect Yourself’ by The Staple Singers, making sure to keep the copy of ‘Otis Blue’ still hidden from her gaze. He lifted the acrylic lid to the record player, placing it through the center peg before handing her a pair of headphones connected by a Y-splitter that attached to the record player so two people could listen at once.

She smiled sheepishly before putting the pair over her ears. He did the same, mirroring her until he picked the needle up and placed it carefully on the first grove. The music began filling their ears, Bridget closing her eyes as they listened to the bass riff opening the album. 

He smiled, watching how she immersed herself in the music, nodding her head a little to the beat, her body swaying in the smallest movements. The first song finished and she opened her eyes, grinning as she looked up to see him. 

“If you want,” he said before taking a pause to construct his words, “I know you don’t have a listening partner anymore… so if you wanted- not saying I could replace him I just know how important it is to have someone who-“ 

As soon as he felt her arms wrap tightly around his waist he stopped his ramble, holding her close to him as if she would turn into dust if he let go. She looked up to him, his eyes quickly looking at her lips before they returned to her brown eyes, he missed the feeling of her deeply. She took in the feeling, of not being this close to him since they decided to be friends earlier this month. 

Friends . She thought to herself. We’re friends, friends don’t hold each other like this . She pulled away, looking at the floor, knowing that if she looked into those hazel eyes she wouldn’t be able to keep herself accountable. 

He almost whimpered at the lack of contact, wishing to throw his arms around her and pull her into his chest again. But he watched how she looked to the ground, seeming almost ashamed that she touched him. 

“I’m sorry.” She said just above a whisper, “You just… thank you, he’d be happy to know I have that kind of person in my life again.”

He melted into her words, especially when her eyes met his again. “I’m glad I could be that person.”

They stayed like that, looking longingly at each other as they continued to listen to the album until Andrew shifted his weight, nervously scratching the back of his head as he spoke. “Ehm, I don’t know if you’d be busy on the 17th, but the gang and I are going out for my birthday and I would love it if you could come. I mean I understand if you can’t with Molly or-”

“Andrew,” she smiled, “I’d love to.” 

—

“I got wine!!” Claire cheered as she walked through the front door of Bridget’s flat. 

“Thank god I was going to lose my mind.” Bridget jested, throwing her thumb in the direction of her sister Mary who was lying on the couch next to her with a green mask on her face. 

Mary lifted her head quickly and looked over to Britty with a glare,” I’m sorry my marriage is falling apart!” She spat.

“It’s not falling apart you’re being dramatic, it’s just a rough patch again.” Bridget sighed.

“You’ve been married for 7 years it’s bound to happen,” Claire added.

“But it’s never been like this…” Mary paused, lifting her head to sit up beside her sister. “I’ve pushed out two kids and I’m not as pretty as I used to be”

“Oh my god shut up!” Bridget rolled her eyes, throwing a throw pillow at her. Accurately named 

“I’m serious Britty! I think… I think he’s sleeping with someone else, someone younger and prettier-“

“And what makes you think he is.” Claire chimed in, grabbing glasses out of the cabinet in the kitchen for the three of them.

“I just have a feeling.”

“Mary, you can’t go off of feeling.” Bridget rolled her eyes, getting up to grab a glass. “Can you talk to him about it? Communication is a big thing in relationships, you know this.” 

“Are you serious!? Hi honey, how was work oh are you fucking your secretary?” Mary exclaimed, mocking Bridget’s idea. Claire’s eyes went wide, spitting out the wine into the sink as she almost choked on her sip. 

“Jesus wept.” Bridget scoffed as she patted Clair’s back as she coughed from swallowing down the wrong pipe. Claire caught her breath, looking out to Mary before blurting out, “He’s fucking his secretary?!?” 

Mary, who looked like she was going to be on the verge of tears looked down at her hands when she said this, feeling as if it validated her thoughts. “He could be.” She muttered. 

“Alright I did not call a girl's night to discuss people who are most likely not fucking their secretaries, girl’s night is fun, no kids, and lots of wine so change the subject.”

“How was your time with Andrew today?” Claire asked, making Mary look up in intrigued shock.

“Change the subject!” Bridget said again, her eyes widening as she looked to Mary who did not know about Andrew.  

“Who’s Andrew Britty??” Mary inquired, getting up from the couch to grab a glass of wine. 

“He’s a friend,” Bridget stated plainly and quickly. 

“And a good ride,” Claire said with a large smirk across her face. 

“A what!” Mary exclaimed, looking to Bri to find any form of explanation. Bridget however, did not give her one, instead shot daggers from her eyes in Claire's direction. 

“He is a friend, and I told you that in confidence,” she muttered through her teeth, irritated at how she would have to tell her sister who he was and receive her judgments that were always given. 

“We met at the Hot spot, he was playing that night when my car broke down. He offered to give me a ride home and I said yes… and yes I slept with him but to be fair I didn't think I would ever see him again. Then he played a few days later and we realized we liked each other too much to pretend that we never met so we decided to be friends.” 

“So you're dating now?” Mary smirked.

“Jesus wept, did you not hear me? I literally said we were just friends like 3 times.” Bridget groaned.

Mary, made her way back to the couch, grabbing a few crisps out of the bowl before a sly smile stretched across her face. 

“And what do you want.” Bridget spat, sitting down with Claire on the other side of the couch. 

“You like him.” Mary sang.

“I do not!” 

“Do too!! I know how you get around guys who you fancy, I figured something was up when you started being less of a grump.” Mary jested. 

Bridget sighed, pulling out her phone. As if she was on autopilot she opened up his messages. 

“Who are you texting? Is it lover boy?” Mary teased, making Bri turn off her phone quickly. “Oh! It is!!” 

“Shut up!”

Chapter Text

“How was she?” Bridget asked as she opened the door to Connor’s car to see her daughter sleeping in her car seat. “Hi, baby.” She smiled as she began to unbuckle the safety belts.

“She was fine I guess, wouldn’t stop crying last night.” Connor scoffed, watching Bridget from the driver's seat. “Don’t fecking know why.”

Bridget glared at his use of language before her attention was back on Molly, looking her over to see if she could magically gain any clues on why she was upset.

“What did she have to eat last night?”

“Bridget.” He warned, making her know better than to push. She grabbed the overnight bag she had packed for Molly for the two days at her dad's before taking her out of her car seat. She sighed, knowing there was no easier way to ask Connor but knew she needed to get it over with as swiftly as possible so she could start getting ready for her shift.

“I know I’m going to regret this, but can you take Molly on the 17th?” Bridget begrudgingly asked, balancing her 3-year-old on her left hip and an overnight bag on her right shoulder.

“And why would you need me to take her an extra day.” He inquired calmly, so calmly it scared her.

“I have something on Sunday I can’t move.”

“It’s your day off.”

“Yeah, Connor it is.”

“Why can’t you take her with you.”

“Connor please I’m just asking you for this one time. I’ve never asked this of you before.” She pleaded. He scoffed and got out of the car, leaving on top of his white ‘05 Volkswagen Golf GTI.

“What, you saying I ask you to swap all the time?”

“Historically,” she paused, watching her tone, looking at the time on her watch in an attempt to calm her nerves. “yes you have. So I’m asking you to use one of the times you owe me.”

He looked at Molly, then back at her, before rolling his eyes. “Tell me where you’re going and I’ll say yes.”

“Are you being serious right now??” She spat, keeping her volume in mind as she held her sleeping daughter. “Connor I thought you’d be happy to take her meaning you always complain about you being more of an uncle to her than a dad!” She sneered barely above a whisper.

“You know what I think? I think you’re going out to whore around, selling yourself so you can be selfish and fuck whoever gives you an ounce of attention.”

“That’s out of line!” She sneered, his words hitting her like venom on skin. He smiled, knowing he got a rise out of her.

“Ohhh I see it’s true though, you’re being a selfish bitch that’s willing to skip out on time with her daughter in order to get some-“

“Are you taking her or not?” She muttered through gritted teeth.

“I’ll take her, but you owe me.” He smirked, getting back into his car as she turned to her flat. He laughed as he watched her struggle to pick the keys up from the steps with her arms full, the bag slipping off her shoulder.

At least you get to see Andy on the 17th, she thought to herself as she trekked up the stairs to her flat.
__

“Mammy” Molly called out as she began to tear up. Ever since she woke up from her nap the tears would not stop streaming down her cheeks at any minor toddler inconvenience.

“What is it, Darling?” She inquired, bringing her attention from the mirror she was getting ready in front of for her shift to her daughter who was sitting on the floor coloring on a fold-out kids' table. Molly, who began full-blown crying, held out a little nub of a blue crayon to her mother in hopes she could magically fix it how moms always do.

“What’s wrong Molly Mae.” She spoke softly, kneeling to her level to take the crayon out of her hand.

“It broke!” She wept, screaming as Bridget took it.

“Do you want mammy to fix it?” Bridget offered sweetly.

“No!” The tot screamed, making Bri Sigh as she realized fully what kind of night it was going to be.

“Do you want to keep drawing with this one?” She offered, holding it out so Molly could grab it if she wanted. Instead of finding reason with her, Bridget was met with another ‘no’ that was screamed at the top of Molly’s lungs. Keeping her cool, she picked up Molly holding her close to her as she wailed into her chest.

“You having big feelings love?” She asked, brushing the sandy blonde curls that were stuck to her face from her tears.

“I want daddy.” She sobbed, making Bri’s heart sink. She knew the importance of a father in a child’s life, and thats why she reasoned with Connor to take her 50/50 when they were in court, but nothing could prepare her for the strength her heart would need to endure when she lived out that 50/50 lifestyle with Molly.

Every cry, every wail, every fear that caused her to call out for her Connor tore at Bridget knowing there was nothing she could do to fix it. Even though she knew it was for the best, what she did was the cause of the pain when she decided to leave him and it ate at her every day. The thing that tore at her the most was knowing she felt those cries and wails for her own father who didn’t save her when she needed him to, at least until he decided he needed to be a saint after his cancer diagnosis. She hopped and prayed to whatever greater power that one day, even if she was 60 and Molly was 41, she could forgive Bri.

“I know darling, I know.”

After a few minutes of holding Molly to calm her, she pulled out her phone and opened her messages to her mom to leave a text that was making a more frequent appearance.

Bridget: Hey Ma, I’ll be over a few minutes early tonight.
Bridget: Molly didn’t take the drop-off that well.

She sighed, kissing Molly’s forehead before starting to set her phone down on the bathroom counter until she noticed she had an unread message.

Andrew: is our greenroom angel working tonight?

She smiled, looking up at her reflection to make sure no finishing touches were needed before bringing her attention to the toddler nuzzled into her as she rested on her hip. She shoved her phone into the back pocket of her black skinny jeans and walked out to Molly’s room, Setting her on the bed where she began to play with her stuffed giraffe, making Bri grateful for the small attention spans 3-year-olds have.

After repacking an overnight bag for Molly while she stayed at her mom's until her shift was over, she pulled her phone back out, looking at Andrews's silly cross-eyed contact photo before responding.

Bridget: Mayyyybeeeee ;)
Bridget: what's it to ya :P

__

“She alright Britty?” Beth asked as she took the overnight bag from Bridget's shoulder as she entered the living room of her childhood home.

“I think she's just super tired… that and I know Connor does not stick to a schedule when she’s there.” Bridget sighed as she sat Molly down on the couch, watching her snuggle her giraffe closer to her as she continued to sleep.

“She doesn’t have a fever or anything and I made sure she ate something that wasn't garbage when she woke up from her nap. But since she's been home she's been sleeping or crying.” She said, apologetically looking at her mother.

“Ach, don’t worry about it. It’s not the first time I’ve taken care of a wain. I’m more worried about you hun.” Beth said, noticing the energy shift in her daughter.

“I’m fine ma.”

“Don’t lie to me, I carried you for 9 months I know when you’re lyin’.” She added, waving her finger in Bri’s face, making Bridget roll her eyes, a small smile on her as her mother scolded her.

“It was just something Connor said, that’s all. He’s been unnecessarily nasty during drop-offs recently.” She stated, hoping that Beth wouldn’t press any further, however, she had other plans.

“What did he do?”

“He just was… making me feel like a bad mom because it's his favorite pastime.”

“Oh hun, you’re a great mom, given the circumstances.” There it was, she thought to herself, the compliment followed by an immediate insult.

Beth smiled, heading for the kitchen. She took two mugs down from the cupboards making Bridget quickly interject.

“I need to head out ma.”

“You sure you can’t stay for a Cuppa?”

“No, unfortunately. I’ll be back at 1:30 am as always.” She said, smiling as she held her arms out to hug her mom. “And, it won’t be too long that you’ll have to keep doing this. Henry looked over my portfolio and he wants to meet with me and the head of ‘The Examiner’.” She boosted, hoping her mother would be happy to hear a bit of good news coming from her for once.

“Oh, well. Let me know when that happens.” Beth said with a straight face, crushing Bridget's spirits and making the grin on her face fall into a tight line.

“Ehm yeah, I will.”

__

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you!” The group began to sing, Bridget walked back to the table with a small cake she made and snuck into the bar without his noticing. 23 candles of various colors went around the outside of the cake, the wax slowly dripping down onto the white frosting causing her pace to quicken. His eyes went wide with the sight, of the cake, of course, not Bridget being illuminated in the dark bar by the soft glow from the candles in front of her so her eyes lit up in this warm and joyful way… fuck I want her.

She placed the cake in front of him from across the table, a faint blush on her cheeks as she watched him study her movements.

“Happy Birthday dear Andy, Happy birthday to you!!” They finished, clapping and cheering as he blew out all but one of the candles.

“Ooo! Andrews getting a Girlfriend this year!!” Rory teased, making everyone laugh. Everyone but Bridget who was trying not to read into Andrew making direct eye contact with her after Rory said this.

Once the final candle was extinguished, Andrew cut the cake, asking everyone if they wanted slices.

“God Bridget this looks amazing!” Aisling praised, as Andrew distributed pieces on paper plates

“I’m sorry I didn’t make a bigger one, I didn’t know how many people were coming.” Bridget apologized, looking at the amount of people around the table.

“You made this??” He asked, looking down at the cake he now had torn into 10 pieces.

“Yes, so shut it and dig in and let me know how you like it.” She giggled making him smile.

After the cake was ravished by everyone in the party until it was a plate with vanilla crumbs, Andrew began opening the gifts from his friends. Many records, some alcohol, a few books, and a gag gift from Alex of a ‘willy heater’ that he said was for him after he goes for one of his swims in the Irish sea this summer. Bridget blushed as she looked at it, not because she was a prude and it was something made for a cock, it was the fact that her brain quickly thought it would definitely be too small for him if he was even going to attempt to use it for that purpose, making her think back on the one time he was buried deep inside her. This resulted in her hoping no one was magically and secretly telepathic and could read the dark corners of her mind.

__

As the night went on Bridget found herself driving a very drunk Aisling and Rory back to Andrew and Alex’s flat. Alex and Andrew rode together and met up with them back at their place where a more intimate gathering began as they didn't want the night to end just yet.

“Oh! I love this song!!” Aisling squealed as the beginning notes to ‘Locked out of Heaven’ By Bruno Mars played.. She took Bridget's hand, leading her to an empty part of the living room, making Rory scoff a ‘Hey!’ as he watched his girlfriend drag someone else to dance. “I think you lost your girl mate.” Andrew chuckle, making Rory smirk, sipping on the glass of whiskey in his hand “Yeah… You should go dance.”

“What?” Andrew exclaimed quietly as he watched the two girls sway to the music.

“Trust me girls like it when guys dance.”

“I’m not trying to get her to like me-”

“Yeah we know, she already does… so go dance,” Rory said as if it was obvious, taking him a bit back when he looked back at Rory and noticed he wasn’t joking.

“After this one, let the girls have fun.” He smiled as he watched them jump to the beat, screaming “You made me stay here spend the rest of my days here.” Rory rolled his eyes, setting his drink down as he made his way over to the girls as the song changed to ‘Fluorescent Adolescent’ By the Artic Monkeys. Aisling smiled widely as she trew her arms around her boyfriend drunkenly and began dancing with him.

“Sorry.” Rory smiled sincerely.

“It’s alright! Dance with your girlfriend.” Bridget grinned bittersweetly, knowing she lost her dance partner on one of her favorite songs. She started to head back to the couch when two hands slid on her waist before turning her around. She looked up to see who was holding her close to them, smiling when she saw his hazel eyes.

“Hi.” He smiled.

“Hi.” She blushed.

“Hope you’re not planning on sitting this one out… I was kinda hoping you’d dance with me.”

“I was…”

“You’re not going to grant the Birthday boy his wish?” He smirked, making her practically melt under his gaze.

“You know when you tell people what you wished for, it doesn’t come true.” She teased making him chuckle.

“Shut up and dance.” He laughed, making her gush. She took his hands, beginning to dance with him as she moved her hips from side to side. It was then that Andrew came to the conclusion that he wasn’t truly happy unless he was holding her in some way, whether it was her body pressed against hers or her handheld within his, he yearned for her touch in some capacity.

Her heart was racing as she came to a realization herself, though she would argue more terrifying than his. She realized she was starting to fall for the man she swore she wouldn’t. Ironically, as if fate decided the music needed to sync up with her emotional thought process, the opening guitar to ‘When Somethings Wrong With My Baby’’ by Sam & Dave started to play on the speakers.

He looked down at her, noticing the redness returning to her cheeks as she knew this song very well. She slowly pulled away, though her hands remained wrapped in his. “Ehm…” She trailed on nervously. He never spoke a word, he let go of his left hand and slid it around her waist to sit at the small of her back, pulling her close to him as they started to slow dance to the melody.

Her eyes met his, a deeper emotion not uneasily read behind them as he studied her features carefully, just like he did when he first met her. Bridget, knowing that if she didn’t she would have given in to Andrew, looked away and rested her head on his chest. He leaned his head on hers, both of them closing their eyes as they felt each other so close again for the first time ssince they were tangled in his bed upstairs so many nights ago.

“You think they realize we stopped?” Aisling slurred as she whispered into Rory’s ear while they watched the two fall for each other. Rory smiled and started to lead her to the couches to their left. “I don’t know love… but let’s give them their space like,” he said as they sat down next to Alex.

“I give them 2 weeks.” Alex stated, snacking on the bowl of popcorn in front of them as they all watched the two like they were a movie.

“Nah, 4… he’s too much of a bugger to pluck up the courage and ask her,” Rory smirked, taking a handful and putting it in his mouth.

“Wanna bet?” Alex raised a brow.

“10 pounds, you're on.”

–

“You okay?” Bridget asked as she quietly closed the back door with two presents in tow, making her way into the chilled mid-March air as she walked to his sid, careful to keep hold of the blanket that was wrapped around her to shield her from the cold.

“Yeah just needed some air to clear my head.” He smiled, looking out to the stars. She shifted her weight nervously before taking the wrapped gifts from under her arm to hold them in her hand, careful so the throw blanket wouldn’t slip.

“You know… you never opened my gifts,” she said, turning his attention to her.

“You made me a cake for my birthday, you didn’t need to get me anything.” He stated though he was grinning from ear to ear. She held them out to him, letting him take the first one and start unwrapping it to see the contents inside. His eyes lit up as he unfolded the jean jacket, looking from the object in his hands to the girl in front of him.

“Do you like it? I got it at the Nine crows, the day we went with everyone. If you want me to return it and get something else for you I can I just thought it suited you well an you didn’t seem to have one--”

“Bridget.” he chuckled, pulling her out of her ramble.

“Yes?” She inquired, her attention changing from the jacket to him.

“I love it. He said, putting it over the gray sweater he wore.
She smiled and took the wrapping from the coat before handing him the second gift she held. He once again, took it carefully, unwrapping it until it revealed the red cover.

“Death of a Naturalist… how did you know I-” He went on, confused on how she pinpointed his favorite poet so easily.

“You quoted him one day while we were in the Green Room at the Hot Spot.”

“I rhyme To see myself, to set the darkness echoing. Personal Helicon.” He smiled, remembering the moment while they sat together on her break, talking about the many reasons he knew he was supposed to play and write for a living.

He opened the cover, noticing the written note on the inside.

‘To the man who reminded me that no matter how hard life may get,
we always have something to look forward to…
And things to discuss over soul and funk records.
To the Happiest of birthdays.
-your greenroom angel’

Without thought he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly as he thanked her. “It’s perfect, thank you so much.”

She took in the way he felt, though the amount of times that she was finding herself pressed against him like this was becoming more common, she noted how he always smelt ofSandalwood andd leather with hints of teakwood. She looked into his hazel eyes, smiling as she saw the freckle above his right eye. Her eyes glanced down to his lips, pink and full, she thought about how they felt, how soft they were against hers. How they once moved with hers in such an intoxicating pace and rhythm.

She wanted to feel that rhythm, the sedation that his lips created after they kissed. So, without another moment of hesitation, her lips pressed against his. It was soft at first, his eyes fluttering shut as his lips were given the satisfaction they had been burning for. One hand slid to her hipthat was covered by the blanket ass the other met her right cheek, allowing him to deepen the kiss into something more passionate. She practically moaned into the kiss, her body igniting as she needed him so desperately. So, so desperately.

It wasn't long until the kiss, though no less passionate, became hot and heavy as they became hungry for something they once shared. He pulled away for a moment, setting the two gifts down on the patio furniture, as so did she with the wrapping, before their bodies attracted to each other with a magnetic force.

His hands slid down her waist, past her hips, and down her thighs where he squeezed the flesh under his fingers, making her moan an almost whimper.

“Jump.” He growled as she did what he said, wrapping her legs around his waist, moving the blanket around his shoulders in an attempt to keep in some heat… and hide their actions from any prying eyes. Hee took a few steps to his left, her back pressing against the cold brick of the flat. “Jesus Andrew.” She moaned, his lips trailing down her neck as he nipped and bit at the skin, making it red with attention.

He shifted her weight, making sure he hand a good hold on her so she wouldn’t fall. She felt him underneath him, how his length was hard and craving to be inside her. She moved her hips in surprise, making Andrew moan into her neck as he felt the friction against him. She smirked and did it again, her hand slipping into his curls, tugging at the roots. And with that action he snapped, moving his hips against her as she was pressed against the wall.

“Fuck Andy.” She moaned, one of his hands slid under her shirt, finding its way to her breast, under the bralette she wore. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder, practically panting as he made her feel things she hadn’t shared with any man.

But then her heart started to quicken, not from lust but from fear. She pulled away, pushing him off of her as she thought of Connor, the words he muttered when he dropped off Molly a few nights ago. Andrew looked to her face, noticing the change, slowing down to read her.

“You okay?” He inquired, stopping completely.

“I…” she trailed off, feeling like a mythic bitch for even starting this with him. “I can’t.” She said, tears threatening to pool in her eyes.

He moved away from the wall a little, carefully setting her down on her feet. He wanted to pull her close to his chest, push the hair behind her ear as he attempted to calm her but he knew there was something bigger that was causing her hesitation. She looked at the floor, her heart heavy with the feeling of shame as her soul yearned for him. Don’t be selfish, Don’t be what Connor knows you are, she reminded herself.

“Bri.” He asked, noticing her mind racing.

“I’m sorry I think I’m going to go home.” She mumbled, not daring to look into his eyes due to the disgust she had for herself. His heart sank, recognizing the look of regret on her face.

“I’m sorry.” She said, a tear falling down her cheek, he lifted his hand to wipe it off her face before quickly pulling it back to his side. Fuck Andy, you did it again, he thought as he looked down at her. He cursed himself for hoping, even for a minuet, that he would be able with her.

“I should go.” She said, his silence speaking volumes.

“No, please.” He begged, his hands meeting her arms in an attempt to hold her. “Please… I don’t know what I did-“

“Andy you didn’t do anything wrong its me.”

“But I don’t want to loose you or change a thing about us.” He stated, his eyes frantically searching for some kind of hint that things would be the same.

“I… I’m sorry Andrew. I’m so sorry.”

Chapter Text

“Ahhh! There she is!” Rory cheered as he sat on the tan leather couch in the green room. Bridget, who walked in with a tray of drinks forced a smile, her eyes avoiding Andrew at all costs. Not because she had any disdain for him, that couldn’t be any further from the truth, it was the fact she allowed herself to become what Connor made her out to be when Andrew gave her the ounce of attention that he said she’d throw herself into. She couldn’t look at him out of guilt and self-loathing that she ruined something that made her feel alive again.

Andrew, whose heart was filled with longing as he hadn’t seen her for almost a month, made his way to her, grabbing the beer he ordered off the tray. She looked up, cursing herself for folding so easily, and found the warmth in his softened expression. “Aisling said you have an interview next week.” He said, making her nod her head slowly to confirm it.

“Does that mean we’re losing our angel?” Rory pouted dramatically making Bridget and Andrew laugh. She looked back at Andrew and smiled, genuinely this time. He mirrored her, his heart happy to see her become the person he knew again. “I really hope not, you’re one of us now,” Andrew said before taking a swig of his beer.

“I guess I’m stuck with you lot.”

It wasn't until after the band's first set that they spoke again, the air between them thick with the words unsaid. Andrew, realizing when he couldn’t find her at the usual spots she would take her break in, wondered outside, remembering the one oddly warm day before his birthday when they talked by the backdoor.

“Hey.” He greeted her as he stepped out, a small relief to see her, her arms crossed as she stood out on the April night. She turned her head to see him, her expression was blank making her look almost numb. He wanted to sweep her off her feet, holding her close to him, trying in any way possible to take away that feeling.

“I’m sorry.” She said, trying her best not to cry, though in her mind she probably was the biggest crybaby that ever walked the earth.

“I just… you’re… I promised myself that after Connor I wouldn’t fall in love again.”

“Well I might be biased here, but that seems like a rotten way to live.” He chuckled, making her smile a little. There she is.

“I’m… I’m serious, I can’t do that again, I can’t be burned like that.” She said, her heart racing as she thought of Connor, his anger, his hatred.

“Bri…” he trailed off debating if it was worth it to convince her he would never imagine being like that.

“I got scared I was becoming exactly what he said I was…”

“Who?”

“Connor.” She said, just above a whisper. He took a few steps closer, seeing the look of fear on her face. He knew about Connor from their conversation in the bathrooms after their one-night stand, but she never mentioned anything further and he didn’t want to press. He could see the panic in her eyes when she thought of him, he knew that panic well.

“What did he say?” He inquired carefully.

She looked at him, seeing the genuine sincerity he had, and melted, the walls she built so high crumbling a little.

“That I’m a selfish mom who gives myself to people who show me an ounce of affection instead of spending time with my daughter.” Her head fell, looking at her shoes as she felt the shame consume her again.

He got closer, his right hand sliding to her cheek, his fingers around her ear, so he could bring her gaze back to him. “Bridget, you are anything but selfish.” He began, noticing the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“You are so strong to keep going after the things you had to go through, and you’re always putting your daughter first no matter what. You’re a phenomenal mother, Bridget, I'm sorry that his clouded and untruthful judgment made you doubt for a second how amazing you are.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, making him giggle.

“What do you have to be sorry about like?”

She wanted to give in, she wanted to kiss him and have him hold her, but something in her mind screamed and fought tooth and claw for her to run, run as fast as she could and never look back.

“I can’t be what you want me to be.”

“And what would that be?”

“Someone who can give you their all and be with you. I’m scared Andrew, I don’t know why but I can’t let myself give in and…” she paused knowing her next words might sting. “I don’t know if I want to.”

He took a moment, his thumb tracing over her cheekbone as he thought. “I really don’t want to lose you. I meant it when I said you’re one of us now. Aisling is also ecstatic that she’s not the only girl anymore. But… I don’t want to lose you, I feel like I’m able to breathe when you’re around.”

She smiled somberly, knowing she felt the same about him. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch before pulling away.

“Then I won’t, I just need you to know I can’t give you what you want.” She reminded as he put his now free hand in the pocket of the jacket she gave him.

“I’m okay with that.” He smiled.

She looked down at her watch, noticing the time. “I have to go back in, my breaks over in 30 seconds.” He nodded his head and followed her back into the pub.

She bottled her worries and any self doubts as she entered the dark pub. And, with a smirk on her face, she turned around to face him. “Oh, I know that look.” He chuckled.

“Sing me something?”

“Maybe… what’s the request?” He played along, pleased to see her back to normal.

“The one song you played last time, the love the very blood of you one.”

“You mean blood?” He shook his head. He hated that song, yet somehow his least favorite happened to be the one she loved the most… probably because it was about her, though he hadn’t told her that yet.

“Yes!” She beamed. With a smile like that how could he refuse?

“Fine, but my next drink is on you.” He rolled his eyes playfully as he gave in to her.

—

“This is going to make me sound like a cluchie, but have any of you been to Powerscourt?” She asked as she handed out their third round of drinks for the night.

“You’ve never been?” Alex asked, taking his beer from her.

“No, unfortunately, I heard it’s gear. I need to write a piece on it to present at my interview in a few weeks.” She explained, handing Rory his drink as well.

“I’ll take you,” Andrew said, a little too excited making the boys snicker to themselves at his eagerness. “I mean we could all go.” He added as he caught on.

“ I’m free on the 21st.” She offered.

“Can’t Aisling and I are having dinner with her parents… wish me luck.” He groaned

“You’ve been dating for a year now what are you giving out on?” Alex rolled his eyes before adding. “I think I’d be free.” Making Bri smile.

“You guys are too good for me… thank you.” She beamed, looking at Andrew for the last bit.

“Oh, also Aisling said you need to wear the blue tie.” She added before leaving the room. Making the boys smile as Rory looked at her in shock. “Ah! So you’ve been plotting with her have you!” He exclaimed, baffled that his silly bickering with his girlfriend continued through his mutual friend.

“Maybe!”

—

On Sunday she arrived at Andrew’s flat at 10 am per his request as he said it was important to arrive early so they could take a whole day to see everything at their own pace. The weather, though late April, was unusually sunny and warm with a high of 7° Celsius. She stepped out of her car, grabbing her long wool trenchcoat as she wandered up the drive. She smiled as the sun fell on her face, hoping that with the walking they were going to do the choice of her jeans and a thick knitted maroon sweater wouldn’t end up being too warm.

She was about to knock on the door when it opened to Andrew standing there with a huge grin on his face. “Right on time, you ready to go?” He asked, his left hand holding a bag making bri look at him inquisitively. “Lunch for us… there is a cafe there but its super overpriced for the tourists.” He clarified making her heart flutter on how he thought of every detail.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” She said, looking inside as Andrew called out for Alex. They waited for about thirty seconds until a “christ.” was muttered under Andrew's breath before he wandered back into the flat, looking for his mate.

“Alex!”

“Yeah, I heard ya the first time!” Alex shouted back as he wondered down the stairs in his pj’s.

“What… we are supposed to be leaving get dressed, Bri’s here.” Andrew chuckled as he looked up at his roommate. Bridget smiled bashfully, not wanting to be in between the two.

“I think I’m going to sit this one out mate, I’m knackered,” Alex said, waving at Bri as she looked up to him. Andrew, who was slightly frustrated in the change of plans with a lack of warning looked back at Bri to try and read her, in some way, to see if it was okay for just the two of them to go. “Get some rest, I’ll get you the full report when we come back” Bri grinned, waving back as she turned to walk out the door. Andrew took one more look back at his roommate who winked at him, making Andrew fully aware of the plan he was playing out. Instead of protesting it, meaning he could be alone with her for a few hours, rolled his eyes with a smile on his face before turning to follow Bri out the door.

It was about a 15-minute drive filled with Simon and Garfunkle, Nina Simone, and of course Van Morrison until they arrived at their destination. “Whoa.” She fawned, looking at the stone house that lay parallel to the main street.

“Thats not even the full part, this is just the front.” He grinned, watching her take in the place. They made their way through the entrance gates, tall metal archways, and decorative stone welcoming her in. She pulled out her notebook, writing and sketching a few details down on the small white pages, trying to fathom how she was going to be able to describe even an ounce of its beauty.

“It was originally built in the 13th century, around the time King John signed the Magna Carta, for an Anglo-Norman nobleman named La Poer, his surname was eventually anglicised to Power.” He said as they made their way up the stone path to the back of the house where the Gardens were.

“How do you know so much about this place?” She asked, astonished over the amount of knowledge he just shared.

“Came here a lot with my Gran as a wain when my brother and I needed to get out of the house when things got worse with my Da, plus it was a yearly trip from my secondary up in Bray.”

They made their way to the top of the hill looking out over the garden. She could see the Wicklow mountains in view while she looked out at the fountain and small labyrinth at the bottom of the stairs.

“Originally, it had 68 rooms with a mile-long row of Beech trees that lined up to the house. It was in the 18th century that those.” He pointed to the two round towers that stuck out from the building, his one hand on her shoulder as he bent down so his eyes were at her level, making sure they were seeing the same thing. “were added, Viscount Powerscourt Richard Wingfield commissioned Richard Cassels, a German architect, to extensively alter the Medieval castle into a modern country house in the 1730’s. I believe it took about 10 years to complete.”

She took in every word, jotting down the important details as her tour guide recalled the information he learned over his time as a young boy. “Want to go inside or visit the Gardens.” He asked, letting the adventure be completely up to her.

“I think I want to see the inside first, while we are here.” She said looking back at the house. “Grand.” He smiled, taking her hand and leading her through the doors.

It took them about an hour to walk through the shops and rental spaces below the house, Bri taking photos along the way as she realized it would take them about an hour for each room they visited if she continued to note every detail. He told her about the Conference of King George IV on the unfulfilled bible prophecies and balls that were held for the Viscountess until they made their way to their adventures starting place.

“And now we get to my favorite part.” He beamed, looking back out at the well-landscaped property. “I know its April, so its not as stunning as it can be.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She smiled, following him down the large staircase lined with stone statues.

“It was in the mid to late 1800’s… I should stop, i’m sorry.” he stopped nervously, looking to her to map out his next move.

“Please, keep going, you seem to enjoy teaching and I certainly don’t mind being taught.” She assured him, knowing he was happily giving this knowledge to her as she watched out for the little quirks he displayed like touching his chin, leaning his head to the left a bit, and scratching behind his right ear. When he did these, she knew he was happy thinking and sharing the knowledge of his current hyperfixation.

“Well…” he trailed on, making sure one more time that he wasn’t boring her to death before continuing. “It was the 7th Viscount I believe that created the gardens as extensively as they are today after renovating the inside… yet again. He was inspired by Versailles and the Schwetzingen Castle and it took 20 years for it to be completed. He added the winged statues of the horses, Bamberg gate, the Dolphin pond, Triton Lake, the pet cemetery, as well as the Japanese, Italian, and walled gardens. Oh, and this.” he said as they wandered upon a tower, hidden in the trees of the estate.

“What is it?” She asked, looking at the almost rook-like tower that stood before them, small cannons around the base.

He took her hand again, bringing her closer to the tower, this time not letting her go. “Its the Pepperpot Tower.”

“Why is it called the Pepperpot tower?” She asked as she looked up to Andrew, his gaze meeting hers making her blush a little.

“It was modeled after the Viscountess’s favorite 3-inch pepperpot that she adored. So, he created a small homage to their love.”

“Small.” She scoffed, looking up at the tower that was at least a few stories high.

“It’s a standard of love I’d like to meet.” He chuckled, his hand still holding hers as they looked out at the building.

–

After venturing out through all of the gardens as well as the pet cemetery and lakes, Andrew mentioned the waterfall that was 7 kilometers away and offered to take her to it. “It technically is owned by them, though the land in between there is owned by someone else, but if you want we would drive out there and have lunch by it.”

“I mean it's part of the property is it not?” She grinned, happy that their day wasn’t over yet.

And with that they ventured over there, beginning their small, 2-kilometer hike out to Ireland's 2nd largest waterfall, Andrew with the backpack full of treats that were ready to be unpacked as soon as they reached a suitable lunch spot.

“I can’t believe this was so close this entire time.” She said as they started on the side of the narrow road that looked more like a gravely path.

“Why didn’t you come here before?” He asked as they continued up the trail.

“We used to live at Lucan in northern Dublin before my dad had his diagnosis. Something about moving back to his home town… I guess it made him feel better about saying goodbye.” She said, kicking a rock along the path they took.

“How old were you?” He aksed, making sure he wasn’t crossing a line.

“16, It was my last year of secondary… I haven’t really talked about this with ayone.” she scoffed, smiling to herself as she felt so comfortable telling him things. It was scary and yet somehow relaxing.

“You don’t need to keep going. I know we don’t really know each other on that level yet.” He said, in an attempt to reassure her that he wasn’t pushing.

She stopped, looking up to him as he turned after a few steps when he realized he wasn’t still walking with her. She smiled, sweetly before putting a strand of hair behind her ear. “Would it be so bad… I mean to know you on that level?” She stated, hoping he wouldn’t push her down. Instead of protests and excuses on how he wouldn’t dream of being someone like that with her like she’d heard from guys before, her just smiled at her, before taking her hand and saying, “If you trust me enough to know you that deeply, I’d be honored.”

“Really?

“Really.”

Chapter Text

It wasn’t until a few minutes longer that they took a break, looking out on the lush meadows in the Irish countryside. “Do you wanna eat here love?” He offered, making her heart flutter as he called to her.

She could hear the low rumbling of water as it hit the rocks below, the sound almost hitting her ears like static. Knowing that any conversation they would have could be drowned in the noise, she agreed, following him out into the grassy patch he led her to with his hand still holding hers.

He let go, pulling a light blue blanket out of the top of the bag before laying it down. He took a seat, beckoning her to sit beside him, which she gratefully did while he unloaded the copious amounts of snacks that could feed about five people. She giggled, making Andrew look up from the spread of crackers and jam, biscuits, a packet of jelly babies, tayto’s, Jacob’s jaffa cakes, digestives, a few granola bars, and a bottle of C&C lemonade. His face contorted into a look of confusion as she continued to giggle at the overly sweet picnic he packed.

“What?” He smiled, looking to get an answer to what she found so amusing. However, his curiosity didn’t last long as he found himself watching how the sun would catch her brown eyes, turning the color into a warm almost honey-like shade.

“I know you were planning on Alex to come with us, but were you planning on feeding the rest of the park?” She held back a laugh, her smile infectiously causing him to do the same.

“I didn’t know what you liked… almost brought a bag of Honkey Dorys in case you didn’t like Tayto’s but Alex said that was too much.”

“I can’t believe you had that stashed in that bag all day.” She said, pointing to the small backpack he was carrying.

“Ach, Just came prepared that’s all… Though I kinda forgot cups.” He said while his attention was brought back to the C&C, pondering the ways he could split it with her.

“Do we really need cups? I mean… it's not like we… yah know.” She blushed, unsure of the simplicity that she felt while talking about them kissing out loud for the first time. Though, the word kissing was Never said.

“No, I suppose you're right.” he smiled, taking a swig before handing the bottle to her. She took a sip while he opened the packet of jelly babies, the powder pressing against his fingers as he reached into the bag. “So,” he began, “tell me what it was like to grow up in Lucan.” He said before tossing the yellow sugar-coated gummy into his mouth.

“There’s not much to tell… I went to Esker National School for primary, used to walk home with my sister for a few years until she moved schools… being five years older than me. I hated being home, did anything to stay out of there as long as possible. Made some friends and slept over at their house, go to the skate park after school, throw sticks into the Liffey, things like that.”

“Why did you stay out so much?” he asked intently, watching her face to make sure he wasn’t making her uncomfortable. She took a swig of the C&C before continuing.

“My dad…” She paused, not knowing how to tell Andrew. “I know how I talked about him before, trying to make him seem better than how he was when I grew up but the truth is, he was absolutely rubbish when it came to parenting until I was 16. He was absent and really only cared for what benefited him, no matter the consequences that came from it. I’m pretty sure my sister and I have a few half-siblings running around.” She joked, though deep down it was always something that she knew was a likely possibility given her dad's history.

“It’s weird… never mind.” She trailed off, grabbing a biscuit and munching on it as she attempted to get her mind off of it… not the subject, the way it felt so natural telling him the closest secrets she kept to herself.

“No, please, I mean… if you want to, I can understand if you want to talk about something else.” He assured her, placing a hand on top of hers. She smiled a little to herself as she felt him touch her, fondly thinking of his love language that he expressed so often towards her… not that it was love.

“I don’t want it to seem like I’m…” She paused, looking into his hazel eyes to fall into the calmness she craved for comfort before continuing. “Like I’m trauma dumping or something like.”

“If you don’t recall, I asked to know completely.” He said, his thumb now tracing circles on the back of her hand, reassuring her to continue if she pleased.

“I guess it's just weird that he had this epiphany when he got sick that he needed to be a dad for once. Stop pinning me against my sister to compete for his affection, actually made it to every dinner my mom cooked… I don’t know why she put up with him sneaking off. Mary used to say he was visiting his other family whenever he said he got stuck at the office.” She took a deep breath and sighed, her inhale shaking.

“She would shut down. My mom. Her depression was so bad before the meds that she would practically turn off like a light switch. I hated those weeks, the ones where I wanted nothing in this world but to be held by my mother… instead I was the one holding her. Then before you knew it she would be practically jumping for joy, parading through the Grocers singing ‘Penny Lane’ like she wasn’t just in bed for 3 days straight.” She scoffed, looking at their hands as she spoke.

“My dad, when he was on morphine for the pain, was a shell. It’s hard watching someone you love, someone you thought was invincible break into pieces until they are nothing but a ghost of who they once were.” He said, reflecting on his own childhood.

“It's so ironic. My da was finally being a da for once and right as he was being a decent human being he fucking died.” She scoffed, looking up at the sky, her mind wondering if he could see her from wherever he landed, though it most likely wasn’t up there.

“Is it bad that I wished he was absent when I was younger?” he blurted, looking at the clouds that passed by them slowly with her. “I mean I could actually be angry at him for a reason and not because he was ill.”

“God, aren’t we a couple of somber sods.” She jested, making Andrew laugh a little. “Come here to me.” He chuckled as he put his arm around her, pulling her to the ground with him as he laid back on the blanket. She didn’t even flinch, just leaning into his touch it felt right in that moment.

“I think thats why I ran to Connor so quickly.” She let slip. “Mary had Donavon and I had so much resentment for my mom for not letting her be a child. I was getting used to feeling loved and needed for once… and he was a shoulder to cry on when he passed. Of course, I didn’t realize he was the scum of the earth and the type who took advantage of those low moments in life… but honestly, I think I tuned out the warning signs and washed them from my mind. Everything looks red when you look at the world with rose-colored glasses.”

“What made you leave?” He asked, carefully.

“Molly.” She smiled, looking up to meet his gaze as they lay together in the meadow. He smiled softly as he watched the light in her eyes return when she spoke about her daughter, the love she had for her.

“Connor told me to get rid of her, said I was wasting my life away by keeping her but… truth is I fell in love with her when she was just two blue lines on a stick.” She paused, thinking about the train of events that led her to where she was before continuing, “So I carried her to term and he had no interest in her until he figured out she could benefit him by being a tax break. And foolishly my hopes for being the family that I always wanted continued until I realized one day after he slapped me across the face for the last time that I was bringing her up in basically the same household I grew up in.” She said bitterly, her mind falling back onto the way her cheek stung as he took his anger out on her again.

He felt the anger rise in the pit of his stomach, his blood boiling as tried to fathom how someone could treat her so carelessly like she had no importance in their life. He wanted to pull her into his chest, his hand resting on the same cheek that was treated so harshly, as he tried in any way to take away the small amount of hurt in her voice until it was a distant memory. Show her what it was like to be loved by someone who would love her unconditionally and not because they were on their deathbed or in need of some cash.

“He hasn’t hit me since… please don’t tell anyone and don’t worry I’m fine.” She assured him, seeing the pyre of frustration behind his eyes.

“You didn’t deserve that.” He said, mentally restraining himself to not reach out to her.

“I lived… and besides, I got my little Molly Mae out of it, though she's slowly becoming less little.” She groaned, wishing she could freeze time and have her remain as her little girl.

A few moments of silence passed as she thought back to the song he played at the hotspot a few weeks back. It stood out to her for a few reasons. One, it was just him and his acoustic guitar, and at that moment in his career he only had one other song he played that was like that, ‘Blood’ the one she was practically obsessed with. And two, he sang about a relationship that was very similar to Cory and hers. She related to the lyrics so deeply, making her wonder how much he would have had to experience in order to write like that.

“Andy.” She called gently.

“Yeah?”

“Did…” she stopped herself, making sure her words were deliberate but emphatic. “Your song, the one you sang a few weeks back… the ‘it looks ugly but it’s clean’.”

“Cherry wine?” He said, his posture tensing beside her as she brought it up.

“I think so.” She practically whispered, she didn’t know how to ask him so she took a deep breath and blurted it out, hoping for the best. “Was there experience that went into that?”

He looked back at her, without an inkling on what to tell her, that it was about his second girlfriend who would sleep around when they fought, how even when they were at their happiest her temper could switch as fast as a bullet leaving the barrel of a gun. She never hit him, the amount of times she threatened it was practically every time they fought, but it wasn’t what Bri went through.

“It is.” He said plainly, she didn’t read much into it, she understood the hardships that came with relationships like that and didn’t want to pressure him to talk more about it. He cleared his throat and softly smiled at her, in a way that reassured her that he was okay.

“Feels like decades ago even though it was a year or so. She was… I felt like a tightrope walker trying to keep some ounce of stability.” He said, his eyes never losing contact with hers.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” She said, laying her head on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

“It was nothing compared to you.”

“Andrew, your experience is still valid. You went through it, you lived through it.” She said. Without thought, he pulled her into his chest, his arm around her shoulders as he pulled her closer to him.

“Thank you… you don’t know how much that means.”

__

They looked up at the clouds, watching how the tree branches danced on the wind while munching on the abundance of food. As the time passed, she felt a strong sense of serenity as they laid in the field, wondering how long they would stay like that. She debated if would be so bad if the time drew into days, the two of them being found in a week after the elements made their claim.

This was feeling of peacefulness was becoming more and more apparent to her, at least in the very back in her mind, that she only felt whole when she was around two people in her life, the first being her daughter. But the second? The second person was slowly becoming Andrew, a man she met at a bar she worked at and he just so happened to be playing that night. A man, who in just under three months, became the only person who could calm her and had already consumed almost every single one of her thoughts. And it scared the living hell out of her.

“Hold on.” He said, pulling her out of his thoughts as he sat up to sift through his bag, reaching all the way in until he found the black leather bound notebook from the bottom. He pulled out a pen, scribbling a few words, before putting it back into the bag. This was not a uncommon occurrence, Andrew would pull out the notebook from wherever he had it stashed, scribbled a few words, then would ‘return back to reality’ as Alex would call it. This time however, he would look up to her every other word and practically study her.

“What were you writing?” She asked, raising a brow as she looked back at the forest green bag. He smiled, situating himself beside her again before looking back up at the sky.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“You were writing something.”

“I’m always writing something.”

“But you were looking at me while writing something and you’ve never done that before.”He smirked as she said this, watching her become flustered as he played it off. Her eyes locked on the bag, making sure Andrews attention would be off of it before attacking her target, climbing over the top of him to grab the book that laid within the canvas prison.

“Oh no you don’t” He laughed, placing his hands around her waist before pulling her into his chest, making her squeal in shock of the sudden movement.

“Let me see!” She giggled, attempting her best to wiggle out of his grasp but it was no use, he was a foot taller than her and managed to keep his grip light but secure.

“Oh to be young and in love again, remember when we were like that Seamus?” A silver haired lady reminisced to her husband, her voice caring to their ears, making both of them split like teenagers who were caught making out by their parents. Andrew looked in the direction the voice spoke from and smiled at the old couple who were now waddling down the path to the falls. Bridget, who was sitting next to him flustered, looked down at her phone to check the time.

“Ehm…” she trailed off, not looking at him in case the older woman would say something again, even though she was halfway up the trail by now.

“It’s 3:47pm, we should probably look at the falls and head back. I need to pick up Molly at 6:30pm” she stated awkwardly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear before looking down at her knees she had pulled into her chest.

“Right, we’ll get moving then.” He smiled bittersweetly, his expression forced as he was trying not to show how bumbbed he was to end their day soon.

After packing everything back into the green canvas bag, Bri looked at him again after deeming it safe from nearby Nan’s. He smiled, held out her hand, and lead her to the falls.

She expected it to be beautiful, as much of Ireland always was, but she wasn’t expecting the sheer size and misty clouds that were erupting from the splash of water hitting the mossy rocks below. She jotted down a few details, took a few photos, then looked to Andrew who raised an eyebrow quisitively.

“What.”

“Don’t you have a story to share?”

“Huh?”

She looked back out to the falls then back at him. “You usually have a antidote about these places, figured you would have one for here too.”

“Not every place in Ireland has some strange deep rooted lore.” He said, scoffing as she knew him a little to well.

“So there’s nothing special about this place? It’s just a water fall?”

He paused, playing with the pebble that was under his boot. “Well…” he mumbled making Bri exclaim “Aha!” In response.

“So, what is it?” She smirked, waiting to hear him speak passionately about something he found intriguing again.

“This is one of the spots they think Diarmuid and Grainne hid while hiding from Fionn.” He said as Bri shook her head side to side with amusement.

“What’s so funny? They ran around Ireland so they could love each other freely, hiding from her betrothal because she fell in love with Diarmuid when she-“

“Andy, I know the story they taught that to us in grade school.” She giggled, shoving his arm playfully.

“Well you asked!”

Chapter Text

Bri: Andy
Bri: I really hate to do this

Andrew, who was in the middle of making a cup of tea, dropped everything and reached for his phone as soon as he heard her text tone from across the room.

Quickly, he opened the message, his heart rate rising as he read the words.

Andy: you alright?

No response.

He looked up at the time, noting that no more than 39 seconds would’ve passed even though it felt like an hour.

Andy: Bri?

Bri: sorry dropping Molly off at Connor’s

Andy: Christ Bri you can't do that to me I thought you were going to tell me that you got scared off by that granny last week

Bri: what no lol

Andy: so if you weren't pushed away by mysterious grannies at waterfalls, what do you hate to do?

Bri: Can I call you? I’m about to drive home

She didn’t even wait a full 30 seconds before he called her causing her to pick up a little quicker than she wanted. “Hi,” she smiled, setting her phone to be on speaker before she started to back out of the drive. “Hi,” he replied.

“So, What is this thing you hate to do?” He asked as she threw her car out of reverse, leaving Molly in the tan house behind her for the 100th time.

“Oh well… the paper that I wrote that piece on, they want me to bring it in for my interview with the CEO of the company,” she stated, terrified of the idea of someone of such standing tearing apart every sentence and word she wrote.

“That’s amazing bri!” he exclaimed, his voice, though a little static over the speaker, was smooth and helped her collect her nerves. “So what is it you hate to do?”

“Well… you know how I’m practically Ireland's biggest baby when it comes to… uncomfortable situations?”

“Mhm”

“Hey!”

“Need I remind you that you were the one that said it.”

“Fair…anyways, I know you’re probably busy right now, and you definitely don’t have to if you don’t want to-” she rambled, making him smile to himself as he lay across his bed, his limbs sprawled out.

“What time.” He interrupted her, causing her to stutter a little before composing her thoughts.

“I-I’ll come pick you up… I have to be there in 30 minutes.”

“See you soon… oh and Bri.”

“Yeah?”

“Breathe.”

__

“Ah, there’s our star writer.” He cheered as she pulled into the flat’s drive, smiling as she had the windows down to enjoy the sunny May weather, the sound of ‘Mercy Mercy Me’ by Marvin Gaye spilling from the speakers.

“Get in!” She beamed as her eyes fell on him, her worries slowly disappearing more and more every second that she looked at him. He made his way to her passenger door, opening it before climbing in and scooting the seat back so he could sit comfortably without his knees being squished against the dash. She rolled the windows up, then pulled a folder out of her bag, handing it to Andrew before placing her hands on the steering wheel and backing out of the drive.

“You were the tour guide and the reason I saw this place and know so much about it and… I guess what I’m trying to ask here is, will you read it? I mean you really don’t have to if you don’t want to it’s not like I can’t make changes to it now, it’s all printed and-”

“Of course.” He interrupted her nervous ramble again, opening the folder and pulling out the pages. He read every word carefully noting how detailed her descriptions were, even on the smallest things he didn’t notice. Bridget was practically biting her nails as he silently read her ‘make or break’ piece next to her. She decided that Andrew reading this, with no telling of how he felt about the writing she spent two days perfecting, was more nerve-wracking than the idea of the soon-to-be interview with the CEO of the company. She pulled into the parking lot, looking over Andy who was almost finished with the article, before attempting to fix her appearance for the 50th time since she left the house.

“Wow.”

“Wow?”

“Just…” He paused, trying to fathom how he could explain the feeling. “This is… it’s phenomenal.” He praised, looking up to see her smile, oh how he loved it when she smiled.

“Really?”

“Bri, it was practically poetic. ‘From the delicate marble work below to the pristine and ornate wainscoting, to feel as if you were walking along the steps taken by some of the most notable royalty and nobility was facile. To hear the stories the walls wept if you listened and looked close enough, you could not help but imagine the thousands of historical souls that graced these halls.’ I mean… you say I’m the writer.”

“Oh please, you and I both know that you write better than I do Mr. ‘There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sins’.” She teased, making him roll his eyes.

“Bri, this is amazing, I’m honored to even be able to read it. And I’m so proud that you are taking the chance to pursue something you’ve always wanted to do, something you were made to do.” He said in full honesty, she could see it behind his eyes. Her heart fluttered, not from love, but from the feeling of someone being truly proud of something she accomplished. It was a rare, feeling that was often fueled by bettering someone in order for her to receive love from her family, but with Andrew… It was genuine, innocent, clean.

“I…” She trailed off, looking at the clock to avoid his gaze. “I should head in, my interview is in 10 minutes and I wanna be early just in case.”

“You’re going to do great, I know you will.” He assured her, making her smile softly.

“I hope so… here are the keys… Ehm, if you wanna go somewhere and come back when I’m done you can, you don’t need to stay here while I-”

“Stop worrying about me and get in there.” He laughed, handing her the folder back before she got out of the car.

__

“So the plan is to meet you at the Brazen at 8:30 pm?” Aisling repeated, making sure she got the times right.

Andrew sighed into the phone as he rested his head on the glass of Bri's car, the coolness chilling his temple. “Yes, Aisling, I’ve said that about two times already.” He chuckled, knowing she was being diligent as always.

“Okay… what if she doesn’t get it,” Rory asked in the background of the call, making Aisling shush him before pausing and inquiring as well. “I hate to ask but he has a point.”

“Trust me,” he smiled, “she’s going to get it. I wish you could’ve read her piece it was… she’s an amazing writer they’re going to offer her the position.”

The call was silent until Aisling smiled “I think he’s in love, Rory.”

“I am not!”

“Oh, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever said.” She giggled, Rory agreeing. Andrew paused, rolling his eyes before thinking about Bri. He wasn’t in love, he couldn’t be. She didn’t want to be in a relationship. And if he was he was in love, he would be doomed in a one-sided situation. The feeling was… platonic… right?

“Alright well I’ll see you at 8:30, don’t forget to tell Alex.” He said before goodbyes and hung up the call.

It was about 10 minutes later when she walked back to the car, her head watching her feet as she shuffled across the pavement. Slowly, and somberly as Andrew noted it, she climbed into the driver's seat. Pulling the seatbelt across her chest and buckling it.

“So?” He asked carefully.

He watched for any signs that told him she got it, though he was slowly worrying that the interview didn’t go so well… until he saw the faintest smirk in the corner of her mouth.

“Jesus Bri is it your mission today to make me go into cardiac arrest?” He exasperated, letting out a breath he held tight in his chest as the anticipation killed him.

This, of course, made Bri giggle quietly, a smile beginning to grow across her face. “I’m only codding ya!”

“So you got it?” He asked, though he knew there was no real reason to, he just wanted to hear the words fall from her lips.

“I am an official writer for the independent as of Monday, May 27th!” She stated proudly.

“I knew you’d get it Bri, I’m so happy for you.” He praised. They lingered there for a moment, both of them smiling like ejits at each other as they sat in the parking lot.

“I… I have to tell Claire and Mary.” She said, breaking the silence.

“You should invite them to the Brazen tonight at 8:30,” Andrew added, making Bri’s expression change to a look of confusion. “I may or may not have organized something with Aisling, Rory, and Alex for a celebration.”

“You didn’t know if I would’ve got the job.” She stated.

“Bri, I told you like 5 times already that they had no chance of even thinking about declining you for the position.”

“But… I don’t, we don’t need to celebrate this-“

“Bri.” He warned. It was a low growl, making her blush at the deep sound.

“Okay… but I need to go home and change first.” She said, turning over the car.

“ I can pick you up at your place if you want when you’re ready-“

“Or you could come back to mine.” She blurted as her heart started racing, hoping he wouldn’t say no. “Not… not in that way just to hang out… but then again you didn’t plan on being with me today anyways so you might want to go home and-“

“Bri!” He laughed, “Take me to yours”
__

“You want tea?” She asked, throwing her keys into the dish by the door and walking into the kitchen before pulling down two mugs from the cupboard.

He paused, the corner of Molly’s toys catching his eyes, before awkwardly shifting his attention back to her. Her eyes followed where he looked and bounced back to him.

“It’s weird huh? Claire said she knew Molly existed but to see her things made her…”

“Real?”

“I guess.” She shrugged, bringing her attention back to the process of making tea.

“Not that I didn’t believe you.” He blurted, making his way into the kitchen after shedding the Jean jacket she gifted him off of his shoulders and setting it on the coat rack. “I mean you sent photos it’s just-“

“Andy I get it.” She laughed, smiling to herself that she was the one to stop a nervous ramble for once. “Now you didn’t answer do you wanna cuppa?”

He sighed, in relief, as a grin grew on his face. “Ehm yeah, I’d love one.”

They spent the rest of the 3 hours in each other's company before heading to the pub. The entire time Bri noted how calm it was, relieved that there was no pressure to do something other than exist together.

It was when Bri looked at her phone to check the time that they paused their 8th episode of ‘Mrs. Browns boys’ so she could get ready for tonight.

“Where are we going again?”

“The Brazen” Andrew stated nervously as she walked down the hall to her bedroom to change.

It was about 5 minutes later when she called out to him again. “I need your opinion on something.”

“Ehm… do you want me to come to you or-“

“Andy stop being such a gentleman, you’ve literally seen me naked and almost took me against a garden wall.” She giggled, though quietly, her laugh trailing down the hall to his ears.

Slowly he followed it to her room, stopping in the doorway and locking his pointer knuckle against the doorframe. Bri, who was zipping up her tight black dress turned around halfway, a laugh stuck in her throat as she tried her best not to let it escape.

“Andy… did you just knock.”

“No?”

“So you didn’t just tap my door frame to let me know you were entering after I told you to come into my bedroom.”

“Would you believe me if I said a gang of mice were playing knock knock ginger?”

“What?”

“Christ Bri I don’t feckin know.” He laughed, the embarrassment staining his cheeks a deep crimson. She rolled her eyes and smiled at him before turning fully to face him.

“Just,” she laughed before looking down and smoothing the shimmering black fabric under her hands. “This dress or the maroon one I wore to the Pink Floyd gig. Let me grab it so you can remember what it looks-“

“I remember it.” He interrupted her, a little too quickly as their eyes locked after the words spilled from his mouth.

“I… so, what dress?”

“This one.” He said, noting how every curve of hers was hugged just right or draped elegantly with some form of pleat. She looked… fucking divine.

“You sure?” She looked back at her reflection in the mirror. “I mean I know it’s what people want to see a girl in but I don’t know if it really does anything for me but show every lump and roll I have after having a kid.” She muttered, her mind clouding over as she picked apart every single flaw she found in her body.

“Bri…” he trailed off, holding himself back from reaching out to her and pulling her out of her thoughts. Words would have to do, “You look fantastic, your body… it’s real and it’s beautiful. The kind the greats would carve into marble to depict Aphrodite, so stop picking out things only you see and look at yourself through someone else’s eyes.”

she stood there, dumbfounded that anyone real had the mental capacity to say something like that to another human being without blinking.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to overstep I-”

“You didn’t, black it is… you ready to go?”

—

“CONGRATULATIONS!!!” The table cheered as she weaved her way through the crowds to the table in the back. “Thank you for coming!” She beamed, looking out to see Alex, Rory, Aisling, Claire, and Mary sitting around the high top.

Claire got up to hug her, then Andrew while Bridget greeted the rest of the crowd. “Thank you for setting this up, she deserves this after all she’s been through,” Claire said quietly, though loud enough that he could hear her over the pub's ruckuses. “Trust me, it’s my pleasure.”

“Andy, Bri, you need to order something and Bri, make sure it’s something good because we’re covering your drinks tonight,” Rory stated, passing the drinks menus to both of them.

“Oh no, I’m not allowing that I can cover my-“

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re stubborn?”

“Rory!” Aisling exclaimed, laughing as she playfully swatted at her boyfriend.

“I know I am, that’s why you lot like me so much.” She beamed, before realizing an introduction needed to be made. “Oh! I’m horrible. Mary, this is Andrew. Andrew this is my one and only sister.” She said as the two shook hands.

“Nice to meet you I’ve heard so much about you.” Mary smiled, a smirk threatening to escape.

“All good I hope.” Andrew chuckled nervously.

“Oh, very good.” She teased.

“Mary!” Bridget exclaimed as the rest of the gang bursted out in laughter, Andrew looking back at Bri as he giggled nervously.

“Oh come on Britty, it’s my job to embarrass you.”

“I’m going to need a few shots if I’m going to survive this aren’t I.” Bri rolled her eyes, cringing at the use of the nickname she loathed, hoping her friends wouldn’t pick up on the habit of using it.

The next few hours were filled with laughter, dancing, and copious amounts of drinking. It was about 10:20 pm when Bri started to feel a bit overwhelmed, excusing herself from the table before heading for the exit to get some air. Andy, who noticed her change in energy followed her out to make sure she was okay. “Let me know if you need anything.” Claire offered before he left, making him mouth ‘thank you’ as he trailed after her.

He opened the door, watching how the streetlight pooled around her, an almost heavenly glow drenching her in dim light.

“Hi.” She greeted, smiling softly as she looked at him.

“You okay?” He asked, making his way to her side.

“Yeah… just.” She trailed off, sighing into the cool May air. “Everything is going so good, I’m waiting for the other ball to drop.”

“You know, it doesn’t always have to.”

“It does if you’ve lived my life.” She scoffed. “I’m sorry, you put this whole thing together and I’m sulking.“

“Bri, it's going to be alright. And besides, you deserve this.” He said, making his way to her side, leaning against the wall she now rested her body against. She looked up to him, her eyes watching his every move. He said I remember… I guess Alex was right, she giggled to herself as she thought of the moment Andrew and her shared while deciding on what to wear.

“What's so funny?” He smirks, his heart fluttering as another giggle leaves her lips.

“You know, Alex said that night when I wore that dress that it would make it impossible to pretend that we were in the friend zone when you saw me.” She snickered, his cheeks flushing as the embarrassment rose to his face.

“I ehm… I was able to.” He stated.

“Yes… but you remembered.”

“I remember other things!”

“My wardrobe being one of them?” She teased, though she quickly stopped giggling when she noticed Andrew's eyes looking her up and down. What she did next was blamed on the 2 and a half mojitos in her system. Carefully, and so gently, she grabbed his right hand and placed it on the dip of her left hip. This movement caused him to move his body to face her… tower over her.

“Bri…” He practically begged, his mind playing through each scenario that could play out as he imagined kissing her lips again. Bridget, who seemed to understand the cue when his eyes flicked to her lips, leaned in as her left hand met his cheek. She felt him rest his head against her palm as their faces got closer, so close she could feel his breath on her skin. Their foreheads touched. His other hand that wasn't slowly migrating to her ass mirrored hers and caressed her face.

“Andy… we should…” She trailed off, trying to protest… but fuck he was looking so good… too good.

All of a sudden her senses flooded through her mind, making her pull away from him quickly. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have… I…” her mind went black trying to think of anything to say. Truth was her excuses were absent as she tried to pull from one. They knew each other on a very detailed level, he made her laugh, he was incredibly attractive, he was kind to other people, he went out of his way to help her and support her, he orchestrated a literal get-together with her sister and best friend to celebrate her wins, and he didn’t run when he heard about Molly.

He was perfect… there was no reason for her to run from this but yet she was still too scared to give in.

“Should get back in there, I don’t want to keep them waiting for too long.” She stated, looking at the ground in an attempt to avoid his eyes.

“Uhhh yeah… you go ahead, I’ll be in in a second.” He mumbled, leaning his head against the wall in defeat as she walked off back into the bar. Jesus, you should not know how easy you are to need.

__

“There he is!” Rory cheered as Andrew finally made his way back to the hightop. His eyes immediately fell onto Bri, her eyes full of guilt as she looked back at him. It can’t be unlearned… I know the warmth of our lips pressing against one another-

“I was telling the girls about the gig you have on the 22nd,” Rory stated, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“We’d love to show if you’d let us,” Claire said with a tipsy smile on her face.

“Ehm, yeah the more the merrier.” He forced a smile before looking down at his beer.

“Good because I need to hear this ‘angelic and ethereal voice that makes you fall in love with every line he sings’ for myself because I think Britty is just being biased.” Mary teases, making her blush and hide her face in her hands.

Honey make this easy…

Chapter Text

“Fuck!” Bridget exclaimed, her nerves causing her hand to be unsteady as she attempted to apply her wing, the black liner creating an uneven line from the one on the other side of her face. 

“Here,” Claire said, turning Bri around and leading her to sit down on the toilet seat before wiping it off with a makeup wipe and applying an even line. 

“You didn’t need to.” Bri protested, saying it softly so as not to mess up Claire's work. She scoffed, closing the liquid liner with the cap and placing it back into Bri’s makeup drawer. 

“I did or we would’ve been late to the gig. What’s got you so rattled?” Claire asked as she continued applying her own makeup for the night. 

Bri’s sister had impeccable timing, entering at the exact time the question was asked. “You doing okay Britty?” 

“Yeah, Just…. Guy trouble…” She cringed as she said this, hoping Mary wouldn’t make such a big deal and pry about who it was and why it was causing her such emoti-

“You finally realizing you like Andrew?” She said, Bri’s head whipping around, her eyes wide as she heard the words. All Mary could do was laugh as she watched her sister react. 

“But… how did… Claire did you???” 

“I said nothing… But it's kinda obvious Bridget. Alex and I had a bet to see how long you two would keep this up until you gave in and realized you were in love with each other.” Claire confirmed, making Bri slump forward, her head resting in her hands. 

“Dear god am I that transparent.” 

“Yeah…” Mary stated, “But don’t worry, he’s got it bad for you too.” 

“I ruined it. How can I come back from pushing him away so many times?” She groaned before adjusting her hair one more time and putting on her necklace. 

“Well, why are you pushing him away?” Claire asked though the words came out a little funny as she said them mid-lipstick application. 

“I don’t… I guess I’m scared to be broken again. Connor was so good to me in the beginning… what if Andy is the same? What if I just end up ruining what could be a good friendship?”

“Honey, Connor treated you with the bare minimum because he knew he could while making you feel like you were loved completely. And as for the ‘ruining your friendship possibilities’ I would say that line was crossed when you slept with him.” 

“SHE DID WHAT??” Mary exclaimed as Claire winced, not realizing she spilled a bit of information that was withheld. “When??” 

“Ehm… so remember the night that my car broke down?” 

–

It was a very long and embarrassing conversation that, unfortunately for Bri, lasted the entire car ride to Trinity where the gig was. 

“So… just ask him he is so obviously in love with you,” Claire said, making Bri Roll her eyes as she got out of the car, Mary and Claire following her into the entrance of the hall. 

“Whoa… This is crazy I thought you said he was just playing in pubs.” Mary said, looking around at the hall where he previously performed the Pink Floyd concert a few months ago. 

“Yeah… I can’t believe he went from playing at the Hot Spot to this.” Claire added before waving at Aishling, Alex, And Rory from across the room, the six both making their way to each other. 

“I can, he’s been doing big gigs like this for a while now….” Bridget smiled, proud of his accomplishments in such little time. 

“Oh boke just go tell him how you feel.” Mary groaned, making Aisling perk up. 

“Did she finally come to terms with her feelings?” She asked. 

Alex sighed before begrudgingly handing a very ecstatic Claire a wad of cash. “You’re still on for when they get together.”

“You guys are the worst.” Bri laughed, shaking her head before looking out at the floor, noticing it packing up with people around them as they stood a few rows back from the stage. 

“Is that why you wore the same dress as last time?” Alex whispered in her ear, making Bri’s head turn so her attention was on him, a smirk on his face as he realized she truly did it on purpose. “I have no clue what you're talking about,”

 “Alex!” A blonde called out before making her way to him with a bright smile across her face. 

“Lyra?” Alex replied, causing both Aisling and Rory to turn their heads as she made her way over to the rest of them before hugging Alex who physically cringed as she wrapped her unwelcomed arms around him. 

“What are you doing here?” Aisling asked, trying her best to sound as genuine as possible… though the words came out a little strained. 

“Andy invited me! God, I haven’t seen you all since… forever!” She stated, a proud expression on her face as she mentioned Andrew. Aisling looked to Rory, who looked back at her before meeting Bridget's confused gaze. 

“Andy invited you?” Alex inquired, cutting the silence. 

“Yeah? Don’t sound so upset about it.” Lyra forced a laugh.

Bridget looked to Aisling to see if she could get any explanation from her on who Lyra was and why the three of them seemed so tense and was met with pitying looks, telling her everything she needed to know. 

“I’m going to use the restroom quickly before the show starts,” Bridget said, excusing herself from the group. 

“I’ll go with you,” Mary said, Claire shortly following behind. 

“That’s a good idea, we will be back in a second,” Aisling added, speeding her steps up to catch up with Bridget, looking back to her boyfriend she abandoned as well as her friend with a girl they all three collectively disliked. 

As soon as the door closed Claire looked at Aisling. “Alright talk.”

Bridget, the one the girls assumed would be the first one to ask this question, had her head back, her body leaning against the wall in an attempt to calm some form of nerves that were forming as the answer to the elephant in the room played over and over again in her head… He’s moved on.

“Lyra… Look I had no clue she would be here, none of us did we haven't seen her in over a year-” 

“Aisling, focus,” Claire said, pulling her out of a ramble. 

“I didn’t know,” Aisling said to Bridget, noticing how her breathing was shallow. 

“It’s fine. I didn’t let him know how I felt and told him I couldn’t even entertain the idea of us being together.” Bridget sighed, she couldn’t even be mad at anyone but herself. She was the one who pushed him away even when she wanted him to love her.  

“Wait what? Thats it? You're not even going to try?” Claire exclaimed, looking at Bridget as if she grew horns. 

“What is there to do? Even if this was a normal situation, I told him I didn’t want him. He did the logical thing and moved on… I just didn’t think it would be with an ex.” Bri scoffed at the irony of right person wrong time and how cruel and twisted its games were on the hearts it consumed. 

“But- You can’t just- he and you- gah!” Claire spat, throwing her arms up in the air at the end as she gave up on speaking entirely, causing a small chuckle to come from Bri as she watched her best friend. 

“I can and I will. I brought this upon myself, I need to live with the consequences.” 

– 

She could tell he wasn’t his usual self as soon as he walked onto the stage, his body tense as his hands shook a bit as he played. She looked over to Alex who shrugged in response, unsure of the uncommon nerves that seemed to overtake his mind. 

He opened with Jackie and Wilson, proceeding to take me to church, someone new, blood, a phenomenal cover of Love Somebody by the BeeGees that she determined was better than the original, and Arsonist Lullaby. Each song was progressively making him more and more like himself, the playful banter with the crowd, the faces he would make as he sang certain notes. He was slowly becoming Andy… until the last song of the night. 

“Ehm… this is a new one called it will come back…” He awkwardly said, while swapping out his guitar, adding a slide to his index finger on his left hand. “It’s about begging for mercy.”

The notes were harsh, reminding her of old American western songs, the guitar practically growling as he played. 

You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Then to look at it, look at it like that

Don't let it in with no intention to keep it

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it

Honey, don't feed it, it will come back

His eyes were looking back and forth from the guitar to her. She felt her heartache as his tone matched his guitar, pleading, begging. 

I know who I am when I'm alone

I'm something else when I see you

You don't understand, you should never know

How easy you are to need

“You okay?” Aisling asked over the guitar, noticing the two going back and forth. Bridget didn’t know to cry or just be in amazement. Her heart was heavy, the fear and guilt of causing such… frustration, such bitterness. And selfishly, she hoped she was still able to make it disappear by telling him how she wanted him… though the blonde girl that stood two people down from her in the row created a reality check as she turned to Alex and said something she couldn't hear in his ear over the music. 

All of a sudden his demeanor changed, a softness overtaking his expression causing her to look up, Andrew and Bri’s eyes locked again, pleading through the bridge. 

It can't be unlearned

I've known the warmth of your doorway

Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you

Oh, please, give me mercy no more

That's a kindness you can't afford

I warn you, babe, each night, as sure as you're born

You'll hear me howling outside your door  

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

Don't you hear me howling?

Don't you hear me howling?

Don't you hear me howling, bab e?

–

To say the uncomfortable tension between the group was bearable would be an absolute lie. Bridget, not knowing if she should stick around for someone who probably didn’t want to see her in any capacity, was paranoid that everyone that walked passed her on their way to the backstage knew in some secret crazy way that it was about her… was it about her? It had to be he, was staring at her during the song… he also looked at her during other songs that definitely weren’t written about her… Jesus Bridget, remember Lyra?? 

Suddenly the gang, and the newly added blonde, started clapping as Andrew came into the green room they waited in. She stood back, the rest of them getting up to greet him. Mary made sure to tell him that Bridget was right about his voice, making the two look at each other longingly from across the room. 

“God I’m so happy you invited me! You were amazing hun!” Lyra cheered, her arms wrapping around his neck, her lips pressing against his left cheek as she praised his performance. Bridget, whose heart was slowly losing the ability to keep calm and nonchalant about another person displaying a PDA with a man she finally realized she had feelings for, stayed back and pulled out her phone. 

“I need to get going… I’ve got to go get Molly.” She said as an excuse. 

“Is she okay??” Andrew asked, taking his hands off Lyra’s waist and making his way over to Bri with a concerned look on his face. 

“Yeah… just my mom is watching her and I need to go pick her up before it gets really late.” Bridget lied, causing Mary and Claire to gather their things after hearing their cue to leave. 

“I thought you didn’t have Molly this weekend-”

“Great show Andrew.” She forced a smile, though stook her hand out for him to shake in a moment of panic, cursing herself mentally as he looked at her hand awkwardly before taking it in his to shake. 

As soon as he let go she darted for the door, Mary and Claire following behind her as she practically sprinted out of the building once she was out of sight. “Bri wait!” Mary called, picking her pace up to match her sisters. “It’s okay, he has to understand-”

“No, I made a mistake and I need to live with it I can’t just look up to him and say ‘Hey Andrew, nice girl! your ex is about 3 times more attractive to me and probably didn’t play with your emotions as much as I did. Oh, do you want to finally go out on a date on Tuesday? I finally can love you the way you want me to, does 7 pm work for you??’ Marry, this isn’t some sappy romance novel written by a twenty-some-year-old on a weeknight because she's bored!” Bridget snapped, she could feel the familiar warmth on her cheeks and the way her vision blurred, she was slowly losing her composure and falling apart. 

“He’s basically in love with you, we see it and I’m pretty sure you see it too. Just tell him how you feel, they aren’t together yet.” Claire stated. She looked up to Bri, her face numb as she looked passed her shoulder, causing her best friend to turn and see the couple by the back door kissing. 

“Oh,” Claire said, watching the tall curly-haired man kiss the much shorter blonde. His hand sliding to her cheek, the same way he used to kiss Bri.

“Forget it. Please. I just want to go home.” 

__

“I brought a case of boxed wine and two pints of ice cream, chocolate, and cookie dough,” Aisling said as she came through the door, looking into the living room to see Mary, Calire, and Bridget all under a blanket in the early stages of a breakup ritual. 

“I’m fine guys we didn't even go out.” Bridget added, though happy she had the three of them there for her. 

“It doesn’t matter, you’re stuck with us and we’re doing this so... chocolate or cookie dough.” Aisling stated, looking at her as she waited for her choice, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet for each of them. 

“Both?” Bri asked.

“I like your thinking.” She smirked, scooping out serving after getting the choices from the other girls as well before distributing the bowls and getting under the blanket with them. Bridget focusing on the tv, her heart aching as she realized the last time she watched reruns of Mrs. Browns Boys was with Andrew. 

“Can we watch something else?” Bri asked quietly, making Mary look at her with confusion. 

“Don’t you love Mrs. Browns boys?” 

“Yeah, I just…” Bri paused, thinking about what she would say. ‘It’s just the last time I watched this was with him, how now when I watch it I think of Andrew’s arm around me and my head on his chest?’ “I’ve seen these a bunch of times and I kinda want to watch something else.”

“Okay… what are you thinking?” Mary asked, knowing there was more to the answer Bridget gave. 

“500 days of summer okay?” Bridget asked, thinking of a breakup movie she enjoyed, though the rest of the girls looked at her as if the movie selection would be a terrible idea. 

“Guys,” she added, looking at Claire as she gave her a look of pity. “I’m fine. Seriously. I just know what not to do for the next guy I end up liking.” 

“You better not get all weird with me now that he’s dating Lyra again,” Aisling said, trying to lighten the mood, though deep down Bridget knew she was serious.

“Unfortunately for you Aisling, you’re stuck with me.” 

“Good because if you try disappearing Rory, Alex, and I would be very very sad.” She smiled before shoving a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. 

“I’m not going to disappear. Yes, I had feelings for him and it sucks that I waited too long… but we're just friends if he still wants to be. I am completely fine… Honestly.”

Bridget noticed the specific buzzing tone she set for her phone and cringed internally before getting the courage to look at the notification. 

Andrew: hey, you free to talk?

Chapter Text

“Jesus Bridget you look like fucking shit”

“Hello to you too Connor,” Bridget replied coldly, Molly sleeping as she rested on Bri’s hip. Though now a bit apprehensive of the conversation she knew was about to take place as she walked them to his front door.

“Long night?” He questioned with a smirk that made her stomach sour. She made her way closer to the entrance, not daring to meet his gaze in an attempt to not feed into his antics.

“She fell asleep on our way here. She had a long day at daycare and I’m pretty sure shes going to be out for a while if you let her.” She stated, handing Molly over to him. He pulled her close to him, pushing her hair out of her face, his eyes lightening up as he looked down at her sleeping soundly. It was moments like this that assured her that no matter how much she had to put up with Connor's bullshit, in her mind, she was doing the right thing.

“So, who’s the guy?” of course.

“Connor, please for the love of Christ, drop it.”

“I just want to know if you're okay.”

“Yeah right.” She scoffed, setting down Molly’s overnight bag in Connor's entryway where they stood. “You can’t seriously think I’d fall for that.”

“Contrary to belief, I do still care about you meaning you are the mother to my daughter.” He said, making sure he wasn't too loud as he was still holding on to Molly.

“I-” She paused, not knowing if she should go into it as he tended to use anything he could against her. “I just missed out on something that could’ve been… something.” She mumbled. Connor looked at her, watching her nervously fidget with her fingers in the same way she did since they were teenagers.

“Well.” He began, drawing her attention to him before shoving her hands in her pockets. “Maybe it's for the best.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you bring him around Molly?” He asked a bit of bitterness in his tone. Jesus record timing too.

“What? No. I haven’t even introduced Aisling to her.” she spat back.

“You better keep it that way.”

“Connor you have introduced her to the past what? Four girls you’ve been with?” She sneered, her face construing into a look of disgust.
“Better than being around the revolving door of men you’re constantly with.”

“Oh fuck off!” She whispered and yelled, “I will see you on Thursday.”

__

“Hey, greenroom angel.” He mumbled into the side of her head, his arms wrapped around her to pull her into his chest, holding her tight.

She pulled away so he would look at her, their eyes locking. He smiled, and her heart melted as it always did around him, how it always will. She wrapped her arms around him, her left hand immediately tangled in his hair by the nape of his neck.

“I love you.” She beamed. He pressed his forehead against hers, making both of their eyes flutter shut at the feeling. She craved moments like this, the ones where the world passed by them so quickly but they never seemed to notice as they were secluded within each other's company.

“I love you, baby.”

Suddenly Bridget was jolted out of her sleep, her alarm blaring as it blinked 6:30 am over and over. She groaned, her heart aching as the moment played through her head again. “I love you, baby.”

She lazily shuffled out of bed to the dresser across the room, mumbling “Yeah, yeah I hear you.” before practically slamming the button on the top to shut the alarm off. The silence engulfed her, her mind becoming a broken record as it replayed the dream on a hellish loop.

“I love you, baby.” she could see the smile on his face, know the smell of his cologne, and feel his curly hair on her fingertips. She looked up to see her reflection, noticing the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and the mess of curls on top of her head. Pretending everything is fine is a bit harder than I thought.

—

“She lives!!!” Rory cheered as Bridget walked into the pub, making her way to the table where Alex, Aisling, Andrew, and, Lyra sat with him.

Rory, who had a pint in his hand for her that she took a little too quickly, smiled as he hugged her followed by Alex and Aisling. “Yeah yeah, some of us work for a living” she smirked as a playful smile grew on his face.

“Bollocks, I knew there was something I wasn’t doing right,” he said sarcastically making everyone chuckle.

“Right, you musicians are all the same. Freeloaders who prey on the innocent 9-5ers like me to become mindless groupies.” She teased, everyone, laughing along to their antics… well almost everyone.

“I think that is a really gross stereotype,” Lyra stated, a cold look on her face. “I don’t know if you noticed and actually care but Andrew is extremely talented and has worked hard to be where he is.”

“I- I didn’t mean it like that I was just-”

“Lyra” Andrew smiled, though a bit forced as he wrapped his arm around her to bring her to his side. “It's just a bit of craic. Don’t worry.” To which Lyra “humphed” in response.

“Whatever, I need some air” she added, beginning to get up from the table, a “Lyra?” spoken in response as Andrew followed her out of the bar, leaving everyone to shift in their seats uncomfortably.

“God I didn’t miss her.”

“Rory!”

“What Aisling, we were all thinking it…”

“Doesn’t mean it needed to be said out loud.” Aisling scolded, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms. This made Bridget smile slightly as she noticed her movements mimicking Bri’s when she corrected Molly.

“A bad dose, Bridget?” Alex asked, his eyes looking into her with sympathy.

“I’m fine guys.”

“Well it’s got to be hard watching them bein’ all banjaxed and all-“

“Rory.” She warned, shooting a glare in his direction causing him to raise his hands as a surrender. He looked to Aisling and Alex before taking a sip of his beer and clearing his throat. “Im sorry.”

Bri, who was now bleeding a little from the hangnail she created and tore due to nerves in the small amount of time the conversation unfolded, sighed and grabbed her bag as she rose from her seat.

“Bri where are you-“

“I just need some air. I’ll be right back.” She said, a forced smile on display in an attempt to avoid any more pity from her friends, a jab at Lyra to seal the deal.
—

“Hey.” Alex greeted as he leaned against the wall with her.

“They go back inside?” She asked, though a little bitter.

“Yeah… Lyra was just being… Lyra.” He said, looking down at his hands as he fidgeted with his thumb and pointer finger. “You okay? I’m not asking about him I know you’re not okay with that but… I mean generally, you seem… off?” He asked sweetly.

It was as if he took a card from the weak point of a tower, causing it to come crashing down, the tears began streaming down her cheeks as she leaned her head back into the cool bricks of the building they stood against. Without hesitation he pulled her into a hug, his arms wrapping around her as she cried into his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, never reassured her that everything was alright like Andrew would, he just held her tight and waited for her to stop when she was ready.

After a minute or two she finally calmed down from sobbing to sniffles and pulled away from Alex to wipe the tears from her face. “God I’m so pathetic.”

“Bri. You’re nothing of the sort. Now, what’s wrong?” He asked gently as if he was afraid he would cause more tears to fall.

She didn’t even think, the words flowing out of her mouth as she told him everything about Connor, how he always seemed to get her to drop her guard and get under her skin, how he damaged her to the point of being afraid to fall in love again, how she loved Andrew and knew now she could never tell him as he was moving on with Lyra, how she was so tired and was running out of the steam to keep moving forward.

“Bridget…” he sighed as he pulled her into another hug, kissing the top of her head before resting his on hers. “You are so… strong doesn’t even begin to describe what you are from what you’ve gone through.” He pulled away, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll kick his arse.”

Bridget scoffed and laughed “Andrew’s or Connor’s?”

“Both if you want me to.”

“Andrew didn’t do anything… that’s all on me.”

“No one likes Lyra I’ll kick his arse for bringing her back into our lives after a year and a half of peace.” He joked, rolling his eyes at the last bit. “Shes not quite your Connor but… he got him out of… let’s just say a worse relationship and he feels this sick and twisted guilt as if he owes it to her to put up with her antics. Though she’s a cute hoor for getting what she wants.” He looked down at his shoes, a bit of red flushing to his cheeks. “I said to much i shouldn’t have-“

“I knew about her… cherry wine. We talked about it at Powerscourt.” She said in a attempt to soothe his sudden anxiety.

“We were rooting for you… I mean we still are.” He said, breaking the silence between them. She sighed, brushing her brown curly hair behind her ear before forcing a smile on her face. “We should get back… we’ve probably been gone for about 20 minutes now.”

“Right” he agreed, following her hesitantly as she headed for the back door she escaped through.

“Alex.” She paused, turning to him after she opened the door. “Thank you for being there for me. I’m glad I’ve got a friend like you.”
—

As they got back to the high top the group was sitting at she noticed that there was one person missing. “Lyra go home?” Alex asked, sharing the same though at Bri.

“Yeah, she wasn’t feeling well.” Andrew lied, though he was a terrible liar so everyone could see the truth three his teeth.

Bridget sat in her seat beside him, shifting in on the stool while she took a sip of her beer as she tried not to look at him too much. Suddenly she felt him lean closer, she could feel his hot breath on her ear. She could feel the heat from her cheeks as he got closer to her, god she missed when things were-

“I’m sorry about how Lyra was acting… she knows theirs a history between us and she doesn’t know how to feel about it.” He said, just loud enough that she would be the only one to hear it. She pulled away slightly, creating some distance between them. Is it possible to have one conversation that doesn’t bring up her?

“It’s fine Andrew, I would feel weird about it if I was in the same situation. Especially if you’re dating.”

“Oh ehm we’re not offi-“

“Andy, it’s your round love.” Rory teased, shaking his now empty bottle and pulling both of their attentions out of the small world that contained just them.

“Yeah yeah, calm your tits.” Andrew chuckled, getting up from the stool he sat on, grabbing everyone’s empty bottles. Bridget took the last swig of hers before reaching out to give hers a little too fast, causing Andrew to grab onto her hand a bit in a attempt to grab the neck.

She let go quickly, casing the bottle to slip and Andrew to panic and fumble as he eventually caught the bottle. Please, please, let me make it through tonight.
—

June 14th was the next time she saw Andrew. A whole two weeks of barely any messaging and small talk while on the phone with either Aisling, Rory, or Alex when they would beg her to come out with them. She knew it was for the best, she was starting to feel as if the cuts were healing and it would be manageable to be around him again as if nothing happened.

And yet when she walked into the green room, her heart fluttered, calming slightly as she realized Andrew was no where to be seen. “Bri!!” Aisling cheered as she rushed to the door from her seat to hug her. Bri leaned in, needing it after the second run in with Connor this week that turned sour.

“Don’t worry she’s not here tonight to eat the head off.” She smirked, pulling Bri out of her thoughts as she began dragging Bridget to sit down beside her.

“Good to know you’ve got your priorities greenroom angel.” Rory called out, mocking to be hurt as she turned around to say hello.

“Rory you’re such a pox” Bridget teased, “but I’ve missed you too.”

“I know I’m quite irresistible.”

“You’re definitely something Rory.” Andrew chuckled as he walked through the door, though standing still as his eyes fell on her. “I-I thought you couldn’t make it.” He stumbled.

“Connor decided not to swap weekends… I can go if you don’t want me to be here-“

“No!… I mean don’t, I want you here.” He said, coming off a little too excited. His cheeks flushed a light pink as he looked to Alex and Rory who were attempting to hold back smirks caused by Andrew’s eagerness, though not very well.

“We’re going to make sure everything’s set up on stage.” Alex stated due to earning a sharp glare from Aisling after letting out a light cackle.

“And I’ll go do find us some spots.” She said, before following the boys out of the room, lightly smacking the back of their heads before saying “Christ you two are worse than my 3rd year students!” As they reached the hall.

Andrew looked back from the door to Bridget, his eyes looking her up and down. “I… Bri, are you okay? You look…”

“Just Connor.” She stated quickly to get him to drop the conversation.

“Please don’t tell me he’s been bothering you again.” He asked, his eyes sympathizing.

“Andrew it’s fine.”

“It’s not, what did he do.”

“Andrew it’s nothing-“

"Don’t lie to me. you’ve said that a million times before and yet it’s never “nothing”. so please don’t lie to me, what did he do? I can tell something is wrong” he raised his voice to plead with her, his frustration and his tone making her breath quicken.

He’d never seen her like this before, though he knew the feeling well. He took a step closer, reaching out to take her hand in his causing her to flinch. He began rubbing the back of her hand gently with his thumb to try and calm her down as his heart ached for her.

“Hey, it’s okay it’s just me I would never do that to you.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so fucking pathetic the past few weeks.” She sighed, her breath shaking as she exhaled.

“No, you’re not pathetic, you’re far from it you’re independent and strong-“

“Andrew he’s a prick and he knows how to get under my skin that’s all, now drop it.” She snapped.

“I care about you Bridget, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Chapter Text

It was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. A constant dread as he lay awake next to Lyra in his bed, her body pressed against him with her head on his chest as she slept. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to shake the feeling but it was continuously looming over him no matter what he thought about, who he thought about.

He took a breath in and held it for a few seconds before exhaling, a breathing trick his mother always made him do when she noticed his anxiety taking over. He took another breath, though exhaling it immediately as he heard his phone begin to buzz on his nightstand. Carefully, not to wake Lyra, he took it off the wooden surface so the sound of the vibration stopped echoing through the material. Turning the screen to see who was calling at 3 in the morning, Bri’s contact photo of her flipping off the camera with her tongue out filling the screen. Without hesitation, he gently moved Lyra off him so he could answer the call in another room.

Quietly he tiptoed across the wood floor of his bedroom and cursed under his breath as he tried to close the creaky door without a sound. As soon as he heard the door latch he answered the phone, his heart dropping at the sound.

“Andrew- I-” She sobbed, he could hear the sound of her heart shattering, and he could also feel his as he listened.

“Bri, what's going on? Where are you?”

“T-the hospital.” She managed to choke out before another round of hysterical cries came from her lips.

“Where are you, what hospital- are you okay are you hurt?”

“It's Molly-” She wailed, that cry that only mothers could make when the tears were for their child. “We're at Alliance in Cherrywood.”

“I’m on my way, I-I’ll be there in 20.” He said before grabbing a shirt to slide over his bare torso, slipping on a pair of boots, and fumbling for his keys while getting out the door. He was glad that the coppers were too lazy in the county at 3 am on a Tuesday or he would’ve gotten a hell of a speeding ticket while racing down M11.

He arrived in 15 minutes, barreling through the hospital doors looking for her. He made his way to the front desk, the nurse looking at his tall frame up and down taking note of the messy hair, green pj bottoms, black boots, and his grey Stereophonics t-shirt. “I’m here for Bridget and Molly Connolly.”

“Andrew?” a voice called out, his head turning to see the girl it came from. Without hesitation he rushed to her, wrapping his arms around Bridget.

“What happened, are you okay?”

“She woke up sick and- and she said she was cold but she was burning up and- and she… then she…” Bridget's words turned into a jumbled mess of tears, Andrew Kissing the top of her head gently as a hand slid into her hair in an attempt to calm her down, knowing it had worked in the past.

“She began to seize…” She mumbled, her face scrunching as she shut her eyes, trying to get the image of her three-year-old shaking on the floor as her eyes rolled back…

“Fuck Bri…” He sighed, tightening his grip on her, wishing he could absorb the sadness and worry from her bones.

“I didn’t know who to call- I’m sorry.”

“Please,” He pulled away, making her look up at him. “Never, ever be sorry for calling me. I’ll always be there for you Bri… I know it might not seem like it but I never- I mean I can’t stop lo-”

“Excuse me are you Mrs. and Mr. Connolly?” A nurse asked the two of them as they stood in the hall outside the wing Molly was in.

“Ehm, I’m Mrs. Connolly, Molly’s mother, is she okay? Can I see her? Did something happen?” Bridget rambled. Andrew took her hand in his and squeezed it gently as if to signal her to take a breath.

“She is stable. If you would follow me.” The nurse responded and Bridget followed, her hand still holding onto Andrews so he trailed behind them. Every step was hell for her, her heart racing as she imagined the worst, imagining her daughter hooked up to machines, unconscious-

“Here we are she’s in Room 108.” The nurse smiled sweetly before opening the door to a doctor looking at a monitor and Molly lying on the bed with sticky monitors on her temples and heart. Bridget's breath hitched, letting go of Andrew's Hand to kneel beside the bed.

“Oh, Molly.” She said, trying her best not to cry in front of her daughter as she traced the bridge of Molly’s nose lovingly. Andrew froze, watching the interaction in the doorway.

“Mrs. Connolly, She is stable and the monitors are reading clear, there is no damage or any signs that this is going to be an ongoing condition such as Epilepsy.” He stated, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Your daughter did however have a fever of 39 degrees. The high-grade fever is what caused Molly to have the seizure. And based on the tests that we have conducted, it looks like she has a nasty case of the flu.”

Bridget let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“We will keep her for the rest of the night to monitor but all you can do is push fluids and make sure her fever keeps down, though you are a mother so I assume you know this.” He informed her, before dismissing himself and leaving the room with the nurse, leaving Andrew, Bridget, and Molly in the room.

He stayed still, his eyes taking in how loving Bridget was to her daughter, noting how Molly had the same nose and eyes as her mother.

“You okay?” She asked him, bringing him out of his bubble.

“Your daughter is in the hospital and you're asking me if I’m okay?”

“Yeah… she's real I know.” She joked a bit making Andrew smile. “You can come closer if you want… Though I understand if you don’t want to get the flu.”

“I told you I’d always be there for you, that includes getting a few germs.” He smiled as he made his way to the chair behind her. He paused, watching her trace Molly’s face, her eyes so full of love and relief. “You're good at being a mom. I’m not going to lie, it's a bit strange seeing you change into a different person than the one we go out to the pubs with but… It suits you.”

She looked at Andrew, a genuine smile on her face as their eyes met. “It would be nice to be a 20-year-old and live my life normally but…” She turned her attention back to Molly. “I love her with my entire soul, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.”

“Who the fuck is that.” Connor sneered in the doorway, his eyes burning into Andrew who stood up immediately with his entrance.

“Connor, where have you been I called you an hour ago!” Bridget snapped, though keeping her voice down in front of Molly.

“You’re avoiding the question, why the fuck is there a man in the room with my daughter?”

“Because you were late and I didn’t know what else to do! And besides its just Andrew.” Bridget said, standing up in an attempt to push the conversation outside the room, away from their sleeping daughter. Andrew followed along as they shuffled out into the hall.

“Andrew? Is this the guy you fucked and couldn’t keep?”

“Connor what the fuck is wrong with you our daughter just had a seizure,”

“She seems fine, are you sure that she isn't faking it? She is your daughter.”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” Bridget fumed as Andrew scoffed, making Connor’s target change.
“Or maybe she is sick and has been trying to tell you but you’ve been whoring around with this guy so much you didn’t notice.” He accused, causing Andrew's composure to break.

“Thats enough.” He warned with a low growl.

“Or what?” Connor tested before looking back at Bridget, “He’s been around Molly hasn’t he, you know you think you can replace her dad so fucking easy but you can’t shes my daughter-”

“Then fucking act like one!” Bridget yelled, cutting him off. “You bring a new girl around her every week, you don’t even watch her you pawn her off on your mother after I leave so you can go have a quick fuck or get drunk with your mates.”

“Oh don’t make me the villain when both you and I know your mother would watch her all the time, and you’re asking to swap weekends with me,” Connor said, taking a few steps forward, making Andrew do the same so he could pull her out of the way if he needed.

“Because I needed to work, not to get wasted. I asked for ONE weekend to be swapped so I could go out and watch Andrew perform and feel normal for the first time since she was born. And need I remind you I had to take the night shift because it was more money and you kept missing your child support payments and I put up with it because thats what I do with your bullshit-” Connor began to close the gap, causing her breath to catch in her throat, she could already feel the sting on her cheek as he lifted his hand.

Though she never felt the burn on her face. She opened her eyes to see Andrew in front of her as his hand wrapped tightly around Connor's raised fist. If looks could kill, the way Andrew looked down at Connor would’ve taken him out in seconds.

“If you ever touch her.” He growled, “You’re fucking dead.”

Connor looked between Andrew and Bridget, his eyes locking onto Andrews as he muttered “Good fucking luck she's a piece of work.”

“Like you even gave her the time of day.” Andrew spat as he let go of his wrist with a push, “Now go be a dad and see your daughter. After that, I suggest you leave or find another waiting room to sit in.”

Connor did as he said, walking into the room his little girl was in, and closing the door behind him. Andrew looked down at Bri, his mind racing on what thoughts could be going through her head. Was she mad at him? Embarrassed? Did he cross the line and overstep?

“You…” She whispered. His heart racing now as fast as his mind.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have- actually no, I should you don’t deserve to be spoken to-” Though his words were cut off as she hugged him tightly, his arms outstretched as he didn't fully understand what was going on until a few seconds later when he wrapped them around her.

“Thank you.” It was all she could mutter out.

He sighed in relief, resting his head on top of hers. “Always.”
__

“I’m at the hospital… no I’m okay,” Bri heard Andrew speak softly. Her eyes fluttered open as she lifted her head to look at him, his phone pressed against his ear with an aggravated look on his face.

“No like I said I’m okay… I know I’m sorry I left without saying anything… Lyra” He sighed. “Lyra I’m here for a friend… Yeah Bridget, her Daughter- Lyra did you not… No, she’s a friend and needed someone… He's not in the picture… Can you please calm down? She is just a friend.”

Bridget moved a bit more from the small hospital bed she fell asleep in while cuddling her daughter after she woke up at about 4:30 crying. Andrew's gaze fell on her, his face softening as he looked at Bri.

“Go.” she mouthed, making him shake his head in protest.

“Go, I’m okay.”

Chapter Text

“No.” Andy mouthed so Lyra wouldn’t hear on the line. Bridget could hear the sound of her yelling at him faintly through the phone. She felt bad for Andy, knowing fully what that type of relationship was like.

“Lyra,” Andy said, causing her to stop for a second to hear his words. “Look I’m sorry I didn’t let you know where I was going but I’m not sorry I ran off… no hold on- Lyra…” he stated sternly, that all too familiar flutter returning to Bridget’s heart. He took the phone away from his ear, shutting it off before looking up to Bridget's gaze.

“Right, well I’m officially single again for the 5th time this week.” He forced a chuckle, though she could see it was affecting him.

“You should go be with her, I can understand where she's coming from… we don't exactly have the cleanest record.” She said, though glad he was determined to be with her, especially after Connor decided to take things too far since they split three years ago.

“I’m not leaving you. Someone needs to take care of you while you’re looking after her.” He grinned, she would just give in and let him be with her… well, take care of her.

“Fine…” Bri submitted, looking down at Molly, happy to see all the testing equipment and machines no longer hooked up to her tiny body. She pushed a light brown ringlet from her face, the strand wet with sweat as she was burning up all night. Bridget wanted nothing more than to swap bodies and absorb her pain.

It was about an hour later that they finally discharged them, Molly started to wake as she was scooped up in her mother's as they headed to her car out in the parking lot. Andrew, who offered about 10 times to get her car so they didn’t have to walk through the lot, was following behind.

“I’ll follow you to yours?”
–

About 45 minutes later Bridget and Molly entered their small but cozy apartment. Bri, setting her down on the couch before walking off to get provisions and pillows, finished setting up a little nest and turning on the telly to the Wiggles before a knock on the door faintly caught both girls' attention.

“Mammy there at the door,” Molly informed her, though her attention was glued back to the TV. Still a bit on edge from her newest interaction with Connor, Bridget opened the door with her body tense, immediately softening when she saw his hazel eyes looking back at her.

“Sorry about that, got caught off by this granny who decided she wanted to drive 10 under.” He apologized as he began taking off his boots.

“Are you sure she wasn't just going the speed limit? I’ve heard horror stories from Alex and Aisling about your driving abilities.” She jested, a smile appearing across his face.

“Now hold on a minute-”

“Mammy, why is the doctor here?” Molly’s quiet, high-pitched voice called from the couch, her big blue eyes looking up at Andrew.

“Oh love, thats my friend Andrew darling.” Bridget smiled warmly, making her way over to the couch to sit beside her. Molly, who looked still a bit knackered from her high fever the night before, smiled slightly before giving a little wave.

“Hi, Andrew.” She said, before snuggling into her mother's side to get comfortable. This earned a chuckle from the man who stood in the entryway.

“Well, that was genuinely less terrifying than I thought it would be. Need me to get you anything?”

“Ehm, no. And are you scared of a three-year-old Andy?” Bridget giggled, watching him make his way to the couch, taking a seat on the complete other side to give them some space.

“No! I… I just know that she is the most important thing in your life and you wanted to wait so then the day came, if she didn't like me… it was silly sorry.” Andrew rambled, his eyes looking to the floor.

“Thats sweet.” Bridget smiled, before brushing some hair from Molly's face. She was happy to see her feel a bit better, though the toddler was still quite pale in the face and hot to the touch. My poor little molly.

“Is this the… oh god it is,” Andrew said, before getting off the couch to look at her DVD collection that sat next to the TV. “Oh god, it is,” he repeated, officially grabbing her attention as the tone of embarrassment was dripping from his voice.

“Alright there Andy?” She scoffed, her lips in a smirk as her brows knitted together.

“Where did you get this?” He inquired, holding up The Wiggles ‘It Always Christmas with You’ 2011 special DVD her mother gave Molly a few months ago for the holidays.

She looked down at the toddler who was falling in and out of sleep on her hip before her eyes moved back to him. “Ehm, 3 year old? It's her favorite thing at the moment so my mum bought it as an early Christmas present… Andy are you alright you look… flustered” she giggled quietly as she watched him squirm under her gaze.

“Have you watched it?” He asked deadpaned.

“Parts of it, I don’t know if you know this but I am an adult so kids' shows haven't really grabbed my attention after I turned-”

“The cherry tree carol.” He stated, making Bridget choke out a laugh with bewilderment on her face.

“Andy what are you talking about.” But he didn't answer her, a devilish smirk began to overtake his mouth before turning to the player and inserting the DVD. Grabbing the remote he sat back down on the couch, this time much more comfortable and sitting closer to Bridget, and fast-forwarded just a few minutes.

“Andy It’s June, what in the world are you doing-”

“Just watch and promise not to laugh.” He said as he pressed play. Immediately the red Wiggle appeared on the screen with Ireland in the background.

“I’m in the ancient land of Ireland with ‘Anúna’-” the man said, causing Bridget's eyes to dart over to Andy who mouthed, ‘Just watch’ in response. So she did, watching the three Wiggles rock back and forth, after introducing the ‘Cherry tree carol’ in a silly movement that would look odd if outside a children's movie.

The yellow one began singing, moving his arms back and forth, causing Bri to raise a brow and look back at Andy for reassurance. “It gets worse just keep watching.” He mumbled, blush on his cheeks as he took a hand and rubbed the back of his neck.

Two Anúna singers, then a camera change to a line of the Anúna chamber, then-

Oh,

My,

God.

There at the very back, towering over the rest as he did now, a very baby-faced Andrew was waving his lanky arms back in forth with the line and singing. She wanted to look at him, see if this was some joke he was elaborately pulling but she couldn't take her eyes off of the screen. He was wearing what she could only describe as the outfit that Mr. Collins wore in the 2005 Pride and Prejudice. It was a black vest, a white frilly shirt, the trousers…

When the now four wiggles went back on screen she finally was able to look at him for an explanation, causing him to chuckle. His cheeks were flushed a bright pink now as he cleared his throat. “I ehm… I was with Anúna and traveling with them as one of the members of the choir… I was also 21 and broke so when they asked if I wanted to be a part of the thing…” He trailed off, looking back to the screen.

“Please tell me you’re in more than 3 seconds of this.”

“Just wait.” And they did, watching and waiting for his next appearance for a minute before he glided across the screen, his hands still waving back and forth as they sang. My god the hair.

He must've missed a cue, causing the girl next to him to pull his hand, running off the screen together. She smirked, watching the man laugh on the screen. “Such a ladies' man.” She jested, making his eyes roll in response.
–

After changing it to a non-Christmas-themed movie and finishing it, their stomachs growled with hunger and begged for some form of lunch to soothe their grumbly cries.

“Want me to get some takeaway?” He asked.

“No, I can’t do that to you.” She protested, as usual.

“I’m hungry too you eejit.” He chuckled, a smile finding its way to Bris's face. “And besides, I’m here to make sure you're taken care of because I know you’ll forget and put her first.”

She rolled her eyes, though knowing it wasn't fully wrong. Sighing, she gave in. “Fine… I need to give her a bath anyway… Can I do a Mapo Tofu and a sweet and sour chicken for her?” She asked, her head nodding down in Molly's direction as she watched the TV.

“Of course Bri, I’ll be back in a few.” He smiled, getting up to put his boots on, still in his Pj’s that he hastily thrown on just a few hours ago.

“Let me know what I owe you.” but he didn’t answer, just smirked and walked out the door, causing a realization to hit her like a brick wall.

He’s not your’s Bri… he’s just being Andy and being a nice guy… stop getting so attached.
–

After Molly was now freshly cleaned a sudden burst of energy, though still small due to her having the flu, rushed through her as she began talking off Andrew's ear as they sat down in the living room to eat.

“How old are you?” She asked, shoving a piece of chicken in her mouth, sauce getting on her cheeks.

“I’m 23.”

“Thats really really really old.” another piece devoured, “Do you have a sister?”

He smiled, “No, but I have a brother.”

“I want a sister, just like Mammy.” She said, a bit of determination in her voice causing a scoff from Bridget who has now heard the plea a thousand times before.

Molly looked at her rice, continuing her rapid-fire questions by asking “What do you do?” Before scooping in a mouthful.

“I’m a musician, I play guitar and sing.”

“Mammy sings!” Her eyes lit up.

“No, I do not,” Bridget said defiantly. Her eyes locked onto Andrews as she watched the thought process behind his eyes. “Don’t.” She warned.

“Please, mammy? I really like it when you sing” Molly pleaded, causing Andrew to join her with a “Yeah, please Bri?”

She rolled her eyes, looking down to Molly at the other end of the coffee table, sighing as she gave into the puppy dog look. “Fine, but Andy your playing.”

And with that she got up, leaving the room for a few seconds before returning with an old acoustic guitar that she left in his hands.

“Ehm, what do you want me to play?” He stuttered a bit, though not enough for her to notice. She smiled, reflecting on a memory. “Can you play Kathy's song… a step up?” the embarrassment creeping up on her cheeks. “Fair warning, I only sing for Molly.”

It was a low alto voice, sweet like honey Andrew thought. He always liked Simon and Garfunkel, but now this was the definitive factor that they were one of his favorite bands and Kathy’s song was the best song ever composed… as long as she was singing it.
–

After hours of attempting, Molly finally closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. This time she was snuggled up next to Andrew after deeming him her new favorite… him being in the Wiggles might’ve been a big persuasion. Looking down at Molly, he smiled and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

“Is this what being a parent is like?” He asked, looking back to Bri, who had a funny look on her face. “The panic that fades into… calmness.”

“Ehm, yeah sorta.” she agreed, though she began to chuckle. “You do get to give her back at the end of the day so… not completely.”

“I guess.” He paused, looking over to Bri, who was anxiously picking at her fingers. “You okay? With the Connor thing.” She looked down at Molly to make sure she was truly sleeping before saying anything.

“Yeah, he hasn’t tried that for a while…” She paused to take a sharp inhale. “Funny how I thought it was such a perfect relationship, then again I look at relationships in a completely different way than I did three months ago.” She confessed, causing Andrew to raise his right brow.

“What do you mean?” He inquired, his heart racing. He didn’t know what to expect her to say, a small part of him hoping she would beg him to be with her instead.

“Just seeing you and Lyra…” His breath hitched, “Seeing the way you and her interact, how kind you are. I guess it just opened my mind to the possibility. I wouldn’t mind being in one if it was like that, now I just need to find the poor bloke that will put up with me.” She chuckled, looking down at Molly, knowing very few men her age would want a girlfriend with a toddler.

He exhaled, closing his eyes for a few seconds as he collected his thoughts. Of course, what was he thinking? She doesn’t want you remember?

Chapter Text

“There is the Greenroom Angel!!” Rory beamed as Bridget met them in the back room of the gig Andrew was playing that night. Immediately Ailsing wrapped her arms around her in a hug as she laughed at Rory’s nickname.

“No Claire?” She asked as she pulled away, her brows furrowed.

“No Claire, she's off running around with her new boy toy Sean.” Bridget giggled, accepting Alex’s hug as he was next in line to greet her. After their conversation a few weeks ago she began to look at Alex as close of a friend as Aisling was.

“Oh boke,” Rory whined making them all giggle in response. Looking around the room Bridget realized that Lyra wasn’t at one of his gigs for once, or at least in the room, and felt her body relax a bit. Aisling, who noticed this, smirked as she handed Bri a beer.

“You know,” She began, “you missed it last week when she went off on him. Scolding him for being at your apartment alone with him, not paying attention to her, putting her needs first… it was quite a list.”

“God, I told him it was a bad Idea.” Bridget sighed, taking a seat next to Alex as Aisling sat in Rory’s lap. “And we weren’t alone, Molly was there.”

“You mean that fucker got to meet her before me??” Rory Exclaimed, making Bri smile slightly. “Alisling got to meet her, and now Andy. What is Alex going to meet her now before I can?”

“Yeah, next week we're going to the park like,” Alex said matter-of-factly, causing Bri to smack him lightly on the chest for feeding into Rory’s antics.

“You two are the worst at egging him on.” She rolled her eyes, “Besides, he was there because I was at the hospital with Molly and… well for some reason I called him.”

“Well duh, because you looooovvveee him,” Aisling said in a sing-songy tone, earning a heck of a glare from Bridget.

“Anyways, he came back to the apartment to help out after meeting me at the hospital and wanted to make sure I was okay after being awake all night.” She clarified, watching the other three in the room smile as they looked back at her. “Christ you lot are feckin creepy like.” She giggled before taking a swig of her beer.

“You two are absolutely eejits.” Alex chuckled, sinking back into the couch as he shook his head.

“Yeah, and we’ve been having to hear Lyra going on about it because she can see it too,” Rory added.

“What are you two on about?” Bridget scoffed.

“That you two are ignoring the fact you both want each other since fuckin January.” Aisling sighed, her head now resting on her boyfriend's shoulder. “You two should stop acting the maggot and just admit it.”

“He’s with Lyra, I’m not going to just-”

“Hello, oh you're here.” she sneered slightly, her eyes narrowing as she looked down at Bridget.

“Hi, Lyra.” She attempted to sound as friendly as possible and not as forced as she truly felt. Lyra ignored her, Andrew following in a few seconds behind her. She threw her arm around his waist, holding him like a child with their favorite toy.

“Ready lads?”
–

Babe
There's something tragic about you
Something so magic about you
Don't you agree?

Babe
There's something lonesome about you
Something so wholesome about you

Get closer to me

It was a new song, and Bridget fell in love with it as soon as he played the first few notes on his guitar. Aisling and her immediately started dancing to this one, just as they did to all the other songs, causing Andrew to smile from ear to ear as he performed.

No tired sigh, no rolling eyes
No irony

No "Who cares?," no vacant stare
No time for me

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword
Innocence died screaming,
honey, ask me, I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Babe
There's something wretched about this
Something so precious about this
Where to begin?

Babe
There's something broken about this
But I might be hoping about this
Oh, what a sin

She pushed the notion that it was about lyra, who tried her best to look like she was enjoying the song, out of her mind. She liked the way it sounded too much to have it be tainted by the girlfriend of the guy she fell for.

To the strand, a picnic planned
For you and me

She froze, looking up to see his eyes locked on hers. His face changed, though only in a way that Bri noticed. There was a faint look of worry behind his eyes.

A rope in hand for your other man
That hangs from a tree

“You okay?” Aisling yelled over the music, pulling Bri out of it. She looked back at Aisling, forcing a smile on her face.

“Yeah! I’m fine.”

A picnic planned for you and me…
–

She was glued to him again, like a magnet. “Andy.” She purred while looking up at him. “I loved my song.”

His hand met the back of his neck, playing with the hair on the nape. “Ehm, im glad.”

Bridget watched this, knowing that it was a nervous habit and was a dead giveaway if you knew what you were looking for. She immediately whipped the small smile on her lips, remembering the 157cm blonde growth that was on his hip. Christ Bridget, you're such a cunt.

“It's only 9, wanna hit the pubs?” Rory offered, making Alex and Ailsing perk up.

“Only if we can go to a place that plays music and not the tourist trap you took us to last week,” Aisling said, scolding Rory by pointing her finger in his face as she sat in his lap again.

“Yeah Rory that place was shite.” Alex added, making Andrew chuckle.

“We can go to McKenna’s, what do you think Bri?” Andrew asked sweetly. But he looked down as the words left his lips, practically cooing her name.

Lyra, whose face was turning a bright red with rage met his eyes, the realization hitting him as her teeth clenched. The entire room cringed at his words.
–

“Christ Bridget didn’t realize that one-night stand was that good.”

“Yeah managed to screw his brains into forgetting his girlfriend's name.”

“You sure you only did it once?”

“Feck off the lot of you.” She groaned, moving her head to the high-top they sat at. After the name was said the four of them sprinted out of there as fast as possible to avoid the atomic bomb Lyra was about to yell, Alex mumbling that they would be at McKenna’s before closing the door to the fallout. The three of them were holding their tongues for about 30 minutes now until the floodgates opened on Rory, causing Alex and Aisling to break into a chain reaction.

“Alright cool off she's pulling a beemer.” Aisling warned, “Though there is no way you two only did it once.”

“Ash!” She exclaimed, her head springing up to look at her friend with a look of disgust. At this rate, she was pretty sure she was going to have to beg them to stop talking about her sex life. She held her head in her hands, her elbows against the table. “I feel like such a cunt for asking this, but anyone else thinks the mention of a picnic in the new song was slightly targeted?”

“It was.” He said, the voice coming from behind her, causing her to turn around quickly, eyes in shock. “Can we talk?”

“Ehm, yeah… where’s Lyra?”

“Please.” It was all he said in response, a begging look in is eyes. Like a moth to a flame, she was drawn to him and followed him through the pub out the door into the alleyway.

“You know the night we met I asked you not to murder me if I got into your van… I’m extending that favor to shady alleyways in Dublin.” She joked, though he didn’t laugh, just looked at the floor they stood on. “Andy?”

“She's asking me to choose between you or her.” He never looked at her, his gaze fixed on the ground.

Bridget has heard a few sentences that tore at her before. “Congratulations you’re 4 weeks pregnant.”, “I promise she didn't mean anything to me and I’ll never do it again.”, “I regret to inform you that your father has been diagnosed with stage 3 Myeloma.”, and “Good fucking luck she's a piece of work.”. But none of them hit her the way he just did.

“Oh…” She took a breath in, feeling her eyes beginning to sting. “I’ll go then.”

“No!” His eyes locked on hers, her wrist in his hand to pull her back as she turned away. He didn’t have any tears falling down his cheeks, but his eyes were red and distant and the look pulled at her heartstrings.

“Andrew I don’t understand-”

“I told her I couldn’t do that.” He blurted his hand still gently around her wrist.

“Andrew… why?”

“Because you’re too important for me to lose. I care about you too much,” he stated. She pulled her arm free taking a step back, her body running into the brick behind her.

“Why are you risking your relationship? I’m insignificant… I… I don't understand why… w-why did you have to say my name, Andrew.” She stumbled over her words, feeling more tears falling from her eyes. He watched her movements, his eyes looking back at her in the same way he did when Andy confronted her in the bathroom a few days after their one-night stand. Her mind traveled back to them, the way they hugged after he forgave her for running away. She wanted nothing more than to have him hold her, and comfort her like he always did but she stayed against the wall. After a few more seconds of silence, she exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding and looked over to the street. “I’m going to go back in, you should try to salvage what you have Andrew.”

“Wait.” He called out as she began to make her way back into the pub. She knew she needed to keep walking, to leave him there, but she couldn't. “Andrew there's too much history!”

“I can’t lose you.”

“Yes, you can, we… we would ruin each other, you know this.” She said, jumping back to old habits to deflect him.

“How are you always so fucking sure? You won’t even let it happen.” He snapped, though softened immediately as he watched her flinch at his tone.

“Well firstly, do you really want to start something while you're with someone else?”

“I’m not asking you to. I’m saying that Lyra has a cause for suspicion because my feelings still haven’t changed.”

“Andrew it was one night and we haven’t acted on it since why are you-”

“Because after just one night somehow you still consume my every waking thought, it’s like my subconscious is linked to you and after a few weeks without you, I go insane. I’m addicted, and just craving a single ounce of your attention and finally being sedated when you look at me.” He snapped. She felt her breath hitch, and her heart flutter.

“Y-you… you can’t say things like that,” she said breathlessly. “I hate you.”

“I’m sorry.” He said just as quietly, his eyes never leaving her.

“You can’t tell me that when you’re with her, you can’t write songs about me while you're with her… you… you can’t tell me that I’m your sedation. You’re with Lyra.” she went on, but he stayed silent, his head down as she scolded him. “You… You make it so fucking hard to do the right thing.”

“What?” he questioned, his attention back on her.

“I’m so sorry it took me so long to allow myself to humor the idea of being with you… I’m sorry I wasn’t able to say it sooner, how I would want nothing more than to be in your arms again, laugh at how you are such a touch-starved human being and how it always seemed to be with just me… then Lyra…” she shut her eyes tightly, attempting to stop yet another tear from falling down her cheeks.

“Do you still feel the same?” He asked, causing her to open them again. There was a glint of hope in his eyes, causing her stomach to churn with guilt. “Bri… Do you still feel like you could give us a chance?”

“Andrew stop. You're with Lyra-”

“But if I wasn’t”

“You’re with Lyra-”

“If I wasn’t would you be my-”

“Andrew stop it! You’re with Lyra. You’re not mine, you never were.” She exasperated, the walls around her heart growing paper thin. “Shes’s nice, and beautiful, and doesn’t deserve this.”

“She's too sweet to be savory.” He protested.

“She’s not damaged like I am. She doesn’t come with a kid and emotional baggage.”

“Yeah, but she’s not you.” He cried, hoping she would just finally give in to him. Tears now streaming down her cheeks, he wanted more than anything to just pull her into his chest. His hand reached up to wipe a tear from her face, pausing as she pulled away. “Can.. Can I touch you?” He asked, a sigh drawing from her lips. She knew if she said yes there was no turning back.

“I’m not your’s to touch.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
–

“Bri are you okay?” Aisling asked as she was the first out of the three to see her as she walked into the pub. “Lyra came storming in here and when she saw you two were missing she turned her heel out the door… Bri?”

She began to sob at the mention of Lyra catching them, slipping away to leave them fighting in the alleyway. Alex, who was closest to her pulled her into his chest as she sobbed into his grey shirt. “I’m sorry that he's too much of a gobshite to see he's in love with you.” He said softly.

“He isn’t. I told him to stay with her.”

Chapter Text

“You’re what?!”

“I’m engaged!!”

“What do you mean??”

“Well, when two people love each other very much and decide they want to spend the rest of their life together they do this ceremony called a wedd-”

“No, I know that, when did it happen?”

“About an hour ago.” Aisling beamed, Bridget could hear the smile through the phone. After 5 years of dating, Rory finally popped the question. “I know it's short notice but we're having a get-together tomorrow before they all ship out to Pittsburg on Thursday. Would you be able to make it? It would be after work of course.”

“Of course,” Bridget said, as she continued cleaning up her mess of rough drafts on her coffee table for the new article she was working on. It was for independent in the entertainment department for theater and arts and due on July 17th, four days from now. “Let me know if you need me to bring anything..”

“Bless you, just yourself. Oh and… Bri I just want to make sure you’re okay with it but, he’s going to be there.” Aisling said, saying “he” as if Andrew's name was taboo in conversation, causing Bri to roll her eyes.

“Ash, it's been two years, It's fine,” Bridget reassured her. Though a very small part of her thinks she was reassuring herself a bit.

“Okay… god I've been up to high doh for tomorrow.” She sighed dreamily.

“I’ll see you then. And congrats, I don’t think I said that… Tell Rory I’m glad he finally got the balls to do it.”

–

“So he's going to be there?” Claire asked as they pulled out of Beth's drive after dropping Molly off for the evening.

“Yeah, He’s Rory’s best friend and grew up with Aisling. I would be concerned if he wasn’t going to be there.” Bridget stated, paying more attention to the road than their conversation.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” She inquired, applying a coat of lipstick in the passenger mirror.

“No. It’s been like two years. Hell I mean Molly doesn’t even remember him she was so little.” Bridget replied, thinking back on their takeaway night. The DVD that was played was promptly tossed into the back of her closet to avoid any chance of Molly wanting to watch it as soon as she got home from McKenna’s in June of 2013 and has not seen the light of day since.

“Well if it does end up bothering you, because let's face it you’re you-”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Bri asked a bit taken aback.

“That on the extremely rare occasion you fall for someone, you tend to go head first, and it's not the easiest for you to come back from it.” Claire clarified, “But when it does, let me know and I will come up with a scenario for us to leave.”

“I won’t need it… but thanks.”
–

After 20 minutes of driving, and more talk of Andrew much to Bridget's disdain, they found themselves entering the newly engaged house in Bray.

“Here’s the Bride to be!!!” Claire cheered as they entered the living room where the group gathered, her arms spread out to tackle Aisling in a hug while Bri followed behind with a bottle of wine.

“God I’m so glad you two are here.” Aisling grinned, turning to Bri to hug her after Claire let her free. “I told you not to bring anything.” She tutted, but gratefully took the bottle from her and gave it to Rory.

“Hi-ya stranger.” He smiled. Since the tour kicked off in January 2014, they saw very little of each other. Bri understood as the two would spend what little time they had on the off days of the tour together, occasionally inviting Bri to come for dinner with Molly who now affectionately knew them as Aunt Aisling and Uncle Rory.

“What not your Greenroom Angel anymore?” Bri smirked playfully as he hugged her.

“Meanin’ it's been about two years since you’ve worked in a Bar!” He chuckled. “It’s good to see you love.”

“You too.” She smiled, interrupted with a tap on the shoulder. She turned to see the culprit and her eyes widened as she saw that grin. Without thinking she threw her arms around the brunette man, causing him to take a step back to steady himself after the sudden attack.

“Christ someone missed me.” Alex smiled, wrapping his arms around her like no time had passed. He was Andrews, being his best friend, so she joked with Aisling that she lost him in the divorce and only saw him on her 22nd birthday a year ago. Being the sweet man he was, they would text each other to catch up every blue moon and gifts were always sent for Molly and Bri’s birthday.

“Shut up you gobshite, you missed me too.” She said, noting how his hair was much longer and his frame was a bit less skinny and a bit more broad, though still thin.

“Yeah, yeah I did.” He chuckled as they pulled away. He looked over her shoulder, a soft look on his face. She turned to see him. He was standing in the entryway from the kitchen, a new beer in his hand. She whipped her head around as soon as their eyes met. “So how’ve you been?” she asked Alex, begging to be pulled into a conversation so she didn’t have to address the 187cm elephant in the room.

“Good, I ehm… still pathetically single… what else…” He trailed off.

“There was that one bird that you were with for a bit,” Rory added.

“Well, the tour kinda made it hard, it being new and all,” Alex said a bit embarrassed.

“I would assume thats hard… How are your mum and dad?” Bridget added to change the subject.

“Oh, they’re great! Ehm, how’s Mary and Beth?”
–

After mingling and silly tour memories were shared among the group of old friends, Bri found herself in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as she sipped on her newly opened bottle. She closed her eyes and took a breath in, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling.

So far, though he was sitting in the living room with them, Andrew and Bri did not make contact. Of course, stories were shared about silly mishaps on tour, such as Andrew being an eejit and giving out his phone number to his fans by mistake, and Bri laughed along with them as Alex or Rory recreated scenes from the tour bus. But throughout all the laughter their eyes didn't meet, until now.

“Oh sorry I-”

“No, it’s okay.” She forced a smile. His hair was longer, a bit past his shoulders, and still a curly mess because he refused to take more time on it than he needed. He made his way from the doorway to the fridge, grabbing another beer. He opened the bottle and looked down at the counter, trying his best to muster up some form of courage. Bri smiled as she noticed his hand messing with the hair on the nape of his neck. Guess much hasn’t changed.

“So, does a red carpet need to be thrown out when you enter a room now you’re a Grammy nominee?” She teased a devilish smirk as she sipped on her drink. His eyes lit up in response, a small laugh escaping from his lips as he looked at her.

“Ehm no, thats only if you won the thing.” He jested, slipping the hand into his pocket.

“You should’ve won, ‘stay with me’ is good and all… well call me biased I guess but ‘take me to church was much better.’” she stated, though avoiding his gaze from across the small alley kitchen.

“Oh no, now you’re going all soft on me too?” He chuckled, trying anything to get her attention again. God, he missed those hazel eyes.

“Well, I did say you made it to my top favorite bands when I first saw you play.”

“Oh yeah, we moved St. Vincent.” He recalled, thinking back to a time that was much more quiet and simpler. “How’s Molly?” He asked, making Bri grin at the mention of her daughter.

“She's good. 5 years old now and starting school so I feel old as hell. She's living with me full time too so thats a change.”

“Christ she’s 5??” He said with wide eyes.

“That is how age works, she was three the last time you saw her and it has been two years-”

“Was the seizure just due to the fever?” He interrupted, looking at the counter behind her.

“God you have the biggest heart.” She smiled. “It was just the one time Andy, don’t worry.”

“Thank god… wait did you say she was living with you full time now?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he processed the last half of her sentence.

“Yeah…” Bri sighed. “Ehm, Connor and I tried to make it work again… but he fell into old habits.” She stated, a bit ashamed. “We accept the love we think we deserve and all that.”

“Bri…”

“I liked the new album. It was good, I hope Lyra liked the songs about her.” She blurted, picking at the label on her bottle.

“Oh Bri…” He sighed, now matching her as he leaned against the counter opposite to her, his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. Their legs were just one step away from touching. “The only songs that are about her were ‘Jackie and Wilson’ when we first met and ‘Someone New.’. And no offense to her, but I don’t think I truly loved her. Maybe at one point when we dated the first time I began to fall because she took me out of an even worse one before her. But we didn’t go a week without bickering about something. We didn’t work. I didn’t go back to her after McKenna’s.”

She was taken aback by this as she was under the assumption he stayed. Continuing to pick at the label on her bottle she chuckled at the irony of their miscommunication and deeming of being the right person at the wrong time. “Well, the new girl is lucky.” She said, causing him to shake his head as he laughed. “What?”

“There isn’t a new girl. I mean I wasn’t a nun, but there hasn’t been any since you.”

“I absolutely do not believe you were delusional to create 10 love songs over a single one-night stand.” She scoffed.

“You counted?” He smirked.

“Shut up.” She mumbled, feeling the blush creep on her cheeks.

“It was 7.” He said blatantly. “‘Angel of Small Death’ after the night we… ya know, ‘Like real people do’ when I dropped you at your flat after the Pink Floyd gig, ‘To Be Alone’ started on my birthday and was finished after our talk in the parking lot at the Hot Spot, ‘From Eden’ during our picnic, ‘Foreigner’s God’ is partly about ya know Ireland being stolen but also countless references to you, I think we both know about ‘It will come back’, and ‘Sedated’ after McKenna’s.”

She felt her stomach drop, her heart was racing. There was no way? Right?

“Andy…”

“I know im a fool with a heart on his sleeve.” He smiled softly as he looked down at her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know how to-”

“Andy I know you like to slink off at parties like the one we found you in the bathroom with Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift when the cops came but this is a gathering with friends I expected you- oh hi Bri,” Rory smirked, walking into the two of them in his kitchen, Aisling following behind and bumping into him a little after his abrupt stop.

“Taylor Swift aye.” Bridget teased, raising a brow.

“Did you miss the mentioning of Ed?” He chuckled.

“Sorry, we’ll leave you two to catch up,” Aisling said with a devilish look, grabbing Rory’s arm and heading back to the living room.
“You know…” Aisling began, looking up at her fiance as they walked out of earshot of the two. “The maid of Honor and Best man do end up spending a bit of time together. And you already asked Andy to be yours and I’m planning on asking Bri tonight…”

“I knew there was a reason I’m marrying you.”

Chapter Text

“Fuck Andy…” She moaned as her hands gripped the sheets, her heart racing as she felt him in between her thighs. His tongue was dipping into her folds ravenously, greedily, starving. Suddenly her body shook as she felt his teeth gently nipping on her clit. He smiled with satisfaction as he watched her melt under his touch, a smirk across his lips that she could feel between her legs.

“So good for me, álainn.” He cooed, moving from her core to her lips, kissing her hungrily. She hummed in response, sliding her hands into his long hair.

“I missed you, Andy.” She sighed as his lips slowly trailed down her neck, leaving nips and bites down to her collarbone.

“Christ darling you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted this. I love-”

Startled, her eyes shot open as her ringtone blared through the bedroom. She looked at the clock noticing the time was 8 am groaning in response and protest. She had at least half an hour of unbothered sleep before Molly came in to bother her and Aisling ripped them out from under her feet.

“What?” She grumbled into the line, flopping back onto her bed as she rubbed her eyes to stay awake.

“Christ I’ll just ask Claire then.” Aisling chuckled. “Sorry to wake you up hun but Rory and I are going to look at a venue this afternoon and we would really like you to come with us. Molly can come too, In fact, we would love her to come because Rory and I want to ask her to be our flower girl.”

“Are you really wanting her to be your flower girl or are you trying to be sweet so I don’t murder you for waking me up early on a Saturday,” she smirked, knowing she wouldn’t be able to say no to Aisling anyways.

“Ah, good dream?” Aisling asked, causing Bri to pause. Since their last meeting a month ago, she’s had five dreams of him devouring her in celebration of their rekindling, something Bri would push to the back of her mind in order to keep her sanity… or unlock it when she needed to let go.

“Ehm… nothing to write home about.” She stuttered, making her way to the kitchen to start breakfast for her and Molly.

“Liar.” She smirked, causing Bri to roll her eyes. “Anyways, it's in Dublin at 1 pm, would you be able to make it?”

“Of course. Aisling.”

“Good… Ehm meaning you’re my maid of honor I have a quick favor to ask you, and you can say no, but can you get the fabric scraps from the planner? Lorane’s currently held up with two other weddings and was unable to drop them off yesterday.”

“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem,” Bri stated, tossing two toaster waffles into the toaster before slicing up some strawberries.

“Good… And can Andrew pick you up? He needs to get some measurements for his suit for the best man.” Aisling added, causing a lump in Bri's throat to surface.

“W-why would he need to come with? Doesn’t the place Rory gets his suit from take care of that?” Bri asked.

“Well yeah usually, but Lorane’s cousin is a tailor and she recommends all of her clients to go to her… issue is because she is one of the only good ones in Wicklow, she is also booked like crazy with the other two weddings for last minute adjustments.”

“You wouldn’t believe Ireland gets anything done if we didn’t have cousins.” Bri rolled her eyes.

“So would that be alright?”

“If he can get a car seat in the back of that racecar he drives now, then yes I guess it would be alright.”

“Oh, Bri you are a literal lifesaver. I can’t wait to see you at the Hen’s teeth at 1.” Ailsing cheered.

“Not a lifesaver just doing what the Maid of honor does.” Bri smiled, though a little forced.

–

“Mammy, I can’t find my shoes!” Molly yelled down the hall as Bri put her final coat of mascara on in the bathroom.

“Be there in a second Molly!”

“Mammy, can I bring Alex jr?”

“No Molly,” She began, sighing before straightening out her top and exiting the bathroom to the entryway. “Alex jr is a little too big to bring with us.” She stated as she looked over at the two-foot fox plush Alex got her for her birthday that was on the ground next to her.

“But he wants to come with.” She whined, pulling the fox into her arms.

“How about we take Fred as his field journalist so he can report back to Alex jr all the sights he saw.” Bri offered, glad to see her daughter's eyes light up in response.
“Like you do Mammy?” Molly exclaimed.

“Yes, like I do.” She smiled. The grin turned into a laugh as Molly ran down the hall to get Fred the small badger stuffed animal from her room. “Molly you need your shoes!” She shook her head, a soft knock at the door causing her attention to shift.

“Hi, superstar.” She said as she opened the door, trying her best to avoid his gaze for a few seconds to compose herself. “Molly is currently on a mission to find Fred.”

“Fred?” He asked, looking down at her and hoping she would just look at him. He craved to see those hazel eyes again.

“Long story… how was the second part of your tour?” She asked, looking around the shoe rack to see if she could spot the pair of missing shoes.

“It was good.. Ehm, we're going to be on tour a bit from September to early November then a short break before going back at it again… Bri…”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” He laughed as he watched her on all fours now, looking under the small wooden dresser.

“Molly doesn’t like shoes so she tends to hide them when we're about to go somewhere- ow!” She yelped as she hit her head on an open drawer above her after retrieving a matching pair.

“Christ.” He cringed, getting down to help her on her feet, gently placing his hands on her head to see if there was any damage… though it was very unlikely anything other than her pride was bruised. Their eyes finally met, a smile creeping on both of their faces as they looked into each other.

“I found him!!” Molly cheered running out of her room, causing the two to split. His eyes widened at how tall she was. She looked just like her mother with light brown curls and hazel eyes. They had the same nose, though her lips and eyebrows looked more like Connors.

“Mammy… who’s that?” She asked quietly, the childish shyness kicking in as she stood behind her mom, her hand that wasn’t holding onto the badger clutched onto Bridget's dress. Bridget smiled, putting her arm around her and pulling her to her side to comfort her.

“That’s Andy, do you remember Auntie Aisling and Uncle Rory talking about Andy?” She asked, Molly thought to herself as she was picked up and sat on the couch, Bridget started to put on her shoes.

“Nope,” she stated, though still staring at him, causing him to shift his weight in the awkwardness of her gaze.

“Last time I saw you, you were three.”

“I’m five now!” she beamed, holding out her hand to show him on her fingers how old she was.

“Five?! Christ, you’re practically a teenager.” He exclaimed, making Bri smile.

After filing out of the flat to Andrew's car, and Bri humoring herself for 10 minutes as she watched Andy attempt to put a car seat in after refuting help, the four of them began their journey to Dublin up M11.

“Andy.” Molly asked from the backseat of his black BMW M3. “how do you know my mammy?”

“Ehm, well…” he trailed off nervously, looking over to Bri who had a smirk on her face as she wondered how he would explain their interaction to a 5-year-old. “She was working at a place I was going to play a gig at-”

“What’s a gig?”

“Ehm, it's a show or a small concert where you play music. And after the show, your Mammy and I talked, and then became friends.” He said, his eyes meeting hers for a few seconds before returning to the road. “She was… funny, she fit in perfectly with my other friends that were there and I was lucky to have met her.”

“Mammy is funny” Molly agreed, completely oblivious to the way her mother was looking at Andrew, her heartbeat rising slightly. She exhaled a breath she didn’t know was trapped and leaned back into the seat. What would life be like if I just gave in?

“I wouldn’t say you were lucky,” she smirked, “after all, I did make you beg ‘to make this easy’.”

“I wouldn’t be where I am without you, need I remind you… seven songs are yours.”

“Yeah, but take me to church is the thing that blew up, so please for the love of god do not give me that credit when you were the one that wrote it.” She smiled.

“I guess.”

—

“Molly!!” Aisling cheered as she saw the kid barreling down the parking lot to see her. “How’s my favorite niece?”

“Good! I brought Fred!” She smiled, holding up the badger making Rory laugh.

“What’s with you two? Am I just chopped liver to this family?” He teased, looking over to Bridget who brushed past him to see his fiance during their last meeting.

“They just opened this place a few months ago but it is genuinely the perfect place for us… I’m just hoping they have the availability for June.” Aisling stated, leading the group to the doors of the building and completely ignoring Rory.

“Do you have a date set?” Andrew asked, following closely behind Bridget, causing a sly smile to grow across Rory and Aisling's face.

“Hopefully the 11th if it's open here.” She stated as they filed through the entryway. Molly, who still had Fred in tow and was showing every object she found mildly interesting, stopped to observe a ground beetle that managed to make it through the doors. Andrew, who was paying attention to the way Bridget’s hair had golden highlights that shined in the sun, stumbled gently into the 5-year-old.

“Christ, I’m sorry! Are you alright?” He asked, kneeling down to her level to make sure she was okay, though she barely moved from the impact.

“Molly, you can’t just stop while we're all walking, you can get hurt, love.” Bridget addressed Andrew as he stood up, though the message was ignored. Molly looked up at him, tilting her head slightly.

“You’re tall.” She stated, making Ailsing laugh.

“Ehm, yeah I am.” He chuckled.

“Can you pick me up?”

“Molly!” Bridget exclaimed with wide eyes, “You can’t just… He might not want to.”

“No, it’s okay.” Andy smiled.

“Really Andy, you don’t have to-” Bridget began, though she was quickly cut off by the sound of Molly’s laughter as Andrew scooped her up, lifting her over his head to sit on her shoulders, his hands holding onto hers to make sure she was steady.

They went ahead, the 2-meter-tall giant of both of them walking through the venue. Bridget watched the two of them with a soft grin on her face.

“Oh no… I know that look.” Aisling smirked, grabbing Bri’s attention.

“What do you mean?” She asked quizzically, slightly afraid she already knew the answer.

“You’re looking at him the same way you did at the Nine of Crows… you’re falling for him again.”

“I am not!” She scoffed, though her eyes fell back on him looking at the gallery wall of pop art with Molly who was naming every color she could. “I’m not… I’m not”

Chapter Text

“Do you think you’ll ever get over it?” Aisling asked as they sat in the dress boutique in Bray.

“Me wearing pink to your wedding? Fat chance.” Bri stated, before taking a sip of her complimentary glass of champagne.

“But you would look so good in it.” The bride smiled as she pulled out a tacky bridesmaid dress that looked like it had never left the 80s.

“I know you’re messing with me but please no… that thing needs to be burned.” She laughed, causing her to smile as she set it back on the rack. “And your wedding colors are rust and maroon so nice try.”

“It was worth it to watch you squirm a bit.”

They paused, looking through the racks in Aisling’s price range. Bri sighed as she pulled out a vintage-style dress. The color was cream and was made from a silk-like material. The bodice was a corset shape and the fabric draped over the waist like ripples of water and smoothed out to a small a-line. It was the dress she and Mary talked about since she was 8.

“Oh, that one's nice.” Aisling smiled as she noticed her holding onto the fabric a bit longer than normal. Bri, snapping out of her slight wedding dress trance, smiled and moved to the next dress on the rack. “You should try it on.”

“No, this is for you. I’m not getting married anytime soon.”

“Do you think you’ll ever get married?” She asked, causing Bri’s eyes to widen a bit.

“I… Ehm… I think so.” She mumbled, her heart racing as the first thought in her head was the curve of Andrew’s smile. “I’m not against it like I used to be.”

“What changed?”

“I…” She knew she shouldn’t say his name, admit to Ailsing that the one man who was able to change her mind about getting married to someone was a person who treated her decent and happened to be Aislings childhood best friend. Still, the words were spilling from her mouth before she was able to stop herself. “Andy… I didn’t realize I wanted to be in love like that until I met someone who showed me kindness.”

“You should tell him that.”

“Are you fecking crazy??”

“Bri I don't think you understand how much he still feels the same,” Aisling said again for the 500th time. And Bri, for the 500th time rolled her eyes in response because she was too scared to get her heartbroken and allow herself to fall for him again.

“This one's nice.” Aisling smiled as she pulled out a mermaid-style dress with floral lace all over it.

“Christ if you wear something that tight I don’t think Rory will be able to wait until after the ceremony.” A man chuckled from behind, making Bri smile after she quickly let go of the dress she had in her hands.

“Hiya stranger. Thought you’d never show.” Aisling smiled as she went to hug Andrew.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He smiled, placing a quick platonic kiss on her temple as they began to walk over to Bri, an arm around Aislings shoulders.

“Hi.” He greeted as he saw Bri.

“Hi.” She replied awkwardly. ‘Bri I don’t think you understand how much he feels the same’.

“So did you guys find anything?” He asked, looking down at Aisling.

“Mhm.” She grinned, nodding her head to the rolling rack that the boutique left for her to keep her picks separated.

“Try any on?” He added, moving away from Aisling and toward the rack, pulling out a dress here and there and inspecting them.

“Not yet, we were waiting for you-” Bri stated, though was quickly interrupted by AIisling.

“And we got sidetracked when Bri found a dress and I tried to convince her to put it on… but you know her.” The bride-to-be smirked devilishly.

“Oh changed your mind on marriage then?” He teased, a smile growing on his lips as he was excited for her to play like old times.

“Yeah actually.” She said flatly, causing him to share the same blank expression when he realized she wasn’t joking.

“Oh… I… you should.” Andrew said, trying to put his words together the best he could. “I mean you should try on the dress, humor bridezilla and all.” He added to lighten the mood and to play it off like he didn’t just ask to see her in a wedding dress because he’d been curious to see what she would look like in one since the picnic.

“If Ailsing finds the dress then sure, but we have a wedding dress for a bride to find, not a sad unmarried mother.” She chuckled, grabbed a dress off the potentials rack, and handed it to Ailsing to put on.

–

“You promised.”

“Yeah because, no offense, but I didn’t think she’d actually find something today!”

“Hey! And understanding I am highly indecisive.” Aisling shrugged, as she leaned back into the loveseat. Bri rolled her eyes, a smile on her face as she watched her best friend. “But he does have a point, you did promise that you’d try one on after I found mine.”

“Ugh you two are insufferable,” Bri grumbled as she made her way to the dress rack and looked at her options. Would it be so bad to try on the dress she always wanted since she was 8?

After a bit of back and forth in her mind, she took it off the hangar and walked into the dressing room where an attendant helped lace her in before leaving her alone. A minute later Bri looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing out the silk fabric as she stared back at her reflection. It was hard not to smile as she looked at the girl in front of her. She was beautiful, she thought at least, and for a second she imagined how it would feel if her life went conventionally.

“Oi, don’t make me drag you out here.” Aisling grinned, pulling Bri out of her thoughts. She rolled her eyes and opened the door, walking over to the chairs Andrew and Aisling were waiting in.

Andrew felt his heart flutter, his mouth opening ever so slightly in awe. She looked fucking divine.

“This could've been me if I didn’t have a reality check at 19… Though I know the dress wouldn’t be this beautiful.” Bri stated while she did a stiff spin, not giving into Aisling's antics. Little didn’t she know she fell into Aislings trap to have Andrew gawking at her.

“God it’s feckin unfair how good you look.” She smirked, causing an overly dramatic eye roll from Bridget.

“You look much better in a wedding dress than I do, at least you also have a reason to be in one.”

“You have one,” Aisling smirked. “The bride requested it. I think she looks great doesn’t she Andy?”

The words didn’t even register at first, he was too busy focusing on the way her breasts were pressed together and how the fabric extenuated the curve of her waist. “I… ehm… yeah, stunning”

And it was that word that melted Bridget’s heart.

“I should get out of this, ehm can you help ais-“

“Getting a call sorry” she bluffed, rising from her seat to dial Rory, though Bridget had no clue.

“I can.” Andrew offered, a flash of crimson on his cheeks as he said the words. Bridget nodded her head towards the changing room and he followed behind, watching her intently for any signs of him being unwelcomed. Instead of shooing him out, she turned her back to him, the corset back waiting to be untied by his calloused fingers.

“One of the attendants helped me in but it looked like they were busy with other brides… if you don’t want to, if it’s too uncomfortable, I can wait”

“No Bri…” he practically panted as he reached for the strings. “It's alright I can do it if you’d like.”

She nodded and he began to pull one of the long strings to undo the knot. Slowly but surely, he made his way to each crisscross and pulled gently, loosening the bodice as the length of the strings became longer with each row being undone. Once he was at the top, just below her shoulder blades, he looked up at her reflection, meeting her gaze as she watched him. Her chest was heaving as she studied his expression each time a row was unfastened, watching his eyes look at her the same way they did on the night they first met.

As he reached the last five rows, he gathered her hair and gently moved it to one side of her neck, his fingers brushing against her collarbone. She didn’t know how she was breathing.

“I ehm…” He started, pulling her attention to him, their eyes meeting in the mirror. “There’s just three more to do, I figured you wanted to do them so you can get undressed. I’ll step out-”

Bri turned and grabbed his hand. She was shocked at her actions, grasping for him as if she were on autopilot. It’s only been a week since they last saw each other at the Hens Tooth, and it's been a month since their reunion, which brought on texting updates and random conversations. It hasn’t been that much time, why was she acting so recklessly?

“I’m sorry I-” She let go of his wrist almost as fast as she picked it up, taking a breath in an attempt to stop Connor's vicious words and accusations from reaching her. And then she remembered Aislings.

‘ I don't think you understand how much he still feels the same,’

“Andy, do you…” He watched her intently, allowing her to collect her thoughts. “I… I hope you know that… I still…”

“Still?” He asked, though he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

“Don’t make me say it.” She flushed, the embarrassment staining her cheeks.

“Please…” he pleaded, needing to hear her confession.

“That I still… it’s not as strong as it once was but when I saw you, when you looked at me the way you always did as soon as I walked through the door… I felt it all over again.” She took a breath, “I’m not the same person I was.” She stated, a little colder in tone as she avoided his gaze.

His hand gently slid to her left cheek, and Bri immediately rested her weight on it instinctively. She felt as if she could die right there, her body finally getting the touch it had been craving for the past two years. She smiled to herself as she remembered how touch-starved he used to be.

“I don’t think there could be a single version of you I wouldn’t fall for.”

“I don’t know how you did in the first place, we had a single one-night stand and talked for like five months. You’re either the biggest romantic with the sweetest soul or in an insane delusion to write me 7 songs.” She scoffed, her hand now resting on his chest as his other arm snaked around her waist.

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.” He stated, resting her forehead against hers. “If you’ll have me, I’d love to do this right.”

She smiled, fidgeting with the fabric of the dress out of nervous habit, though the reminder of the white silk made her giggle.

“What?” He inquired, pulling away to look at her.

“You know normal people wouldn’t be in a wedding dress when they accept being one’s girlfriend.”

“When have we ever been normal?” He smirked, though it faded into a genuine smile as the words played over in his head. “girlfriend?”

“Well you were asking me out… right?” She looked at him nervously.

“I mean, I was saying more of a first date-“

“I’m sorry I didn’t- I mean I shouldn’t have assumed.” She pulled away from him completely.

“No! I mean… I’d much rather ask to be yours than to just go on a first date.” He clarified, wanting to pull her back into his arms with her body against his.

“I’d love to be yours Andrew.” She hummed, her sudden tenseness from misunderstanding melted away from her shoulders. “But… I think we should wait to tell the others.”

“As long as it means I can hold you in my arms, I’m okay with that.”

Chapter Text

“Fuck how long do we have?” Andrew moaned as he trailed kisses down Bri’s throat, nipping and biting at the skin.

“It’s 14:00 so about an hour before I need to go pick her up.” Bri smiled, knowing this would please Andrew. Please her.

“Thank fuck because I’m dying to be inside you” he mumbled into her skin, the heat of his breath making her hairs stand on the back of her neck.

“Andy…” the whimper escaped as he squeezed the back of her thighs, signaling her to jump so she obeyed and wrapped her legs around his waist. Their lips connect, a fit of passionate, hungry, kisses.

Andrew walked down the hall, practically throwing her on the mattress where she sprawled out her arms like an angel, one Andy couldn’t wait to worship. He began unbuttoning the white button-up she wore to the office, moaning as his calloused fingers undid each button with an extreme lack of patience. He debated on giving a short tug to get it over with, hearing the drum line of the buttons bounce on the hardwood flooring as he took her tit in his mouth, but decided against it just in case the shirt was irreplaceable. As soon as the last button was released his lips were on her skin again, leaving licks and nips all over her chest. His hands reached under her to unclasp her nude bra, setting her free.

“Christ I never thought I’d see this again…” Andy muttered before taking her right breast in his mouth, sucking on her nipple, and tracing his tongue around the skin. Her hands wrapped into his hair, a slight tug on the roots coaxing a moan out of his throat. “If you keep looking at me like that I won’t be able to behave myself.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to darling,” Bridget smirked, her eyes fluttering as his tongue rolled around her left nipple.

“Jesus fuck you’re going to be the death of me.” He whined, his kisses trailing down her stomach. As his lips nipped and licked at the skin in between soft kisses, the realization that he hadn’t felt this part of her since the night they met. He paused, causing Bri to prop herself up on her elbows to look at him, her cheeks flushed and her lips red from his previous attack of the flesh. “Andy? Is something wrong?”

He paused, unintentionally causing Bri to become overly aware of herself, a hand covering her stomach as she watched his every move. “Don’t.” He requested though it was more of a statement. “I love that part of you and I hate it when you cover it up.”

“My stomach?” She asked in bewilderment, confused how any man could find the bump and stretch marks from carrying a child attractive in any capacity.

“God Bri, one of these days I’m going to make you tell me how beautiful you are and only let you cum when you believe it.” He growled, nipping at her thighs as she squealed, smiling to himself as she squirmed after he bit at her hips.

“I paused because I haven’t seen you like this since…”

“Oh.” She blushed, “do you want to stop?”

“I want to feel you and take all of you so badly… but I also want to give you what you deserve.”

“What do I deserve?” She asked, her face scrunched as she didn’t understand, causing a smile on Andrew’s face.

“You deserve something nice, not just a quick 30-minute fuck because Molly is out and it’s been what, 2 years since we last… Christ you have to be a witch or something to still have this effect on me after a one-night stand and a snog on my birthday.” He said, causing Bri to laugh as she ran a hand through his hair, his immediate response of falling into her touch.

“Andy, you have the same effect on me too.” She smiled softly, “As for the something nice… you do know 30 minutes is not quick… like at all.”

“30 minutes is quick when I’ve been waiting for it for years.” He whined, resting his head against her stomach, looking up at her as she continued to play with his hair. “I just want to make it up to you for putting you through… all that.”

“Andrew I was the one who made the situation a lot more complicated than it needed to be.” She scoffed. Bri paused for a moment, looking back down at him. “Do you want to wait?”

“Bri you make it hard to say yes, but I kinda think I do.” He said, his head propped up against his hands while his arms rested on each side of her.

“My boyfriend, such a gentleman.” She smiled, an approving hum coming from his throat as he heard the word boyfriend fall from her lips. He loved it, being called hers, it was just a little thing but he loved it dearly.

“You’re leaving tomorrow?” She asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah Brit fest 22nd - 24th, but I’ll be back for your birthday.”

“Oh, the international superstar didn’t have a concert, award show, or TV appearance he needed to make?” She teased, causing him to pounce on her, pulling her to him as he wrapped Bri in his arms. She giggled against his chest.

“The international superstar who is your boyfriend took the time off so there would be nothing on the 27th of August so he could be in Ireland.”

“I refuse to believe you did it on purpose.” She scoffed, expecting a laugh or maybe a ‘you got me’ from Andrew, though it didn’t come.

“I did. Well, not expect you and me to be a thing that was a happy development, but I did it last tour too.” He admitted, his expression similar to a kid that was caught red-handed. “Regardless of what happens between us, and I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant I would be where I am now with you, you were still my friend. A bloody close one too. I just wanted to make sure it would be free in case we ran into each other and started talking again.”

“Andy, you are so… I don’t understand how you’re real.”

“I missed you… what can I say.”

—

“You sure you want me to come with?” He asked, putting on his boots by the door as Bri laced her white Converse.

“Well, you’ve already been around her and she loves you, so yeah.”

“But we’re dating now, what about the rule?”

“Do you have any interest or intentions of breaking up with me after waiting for over two years to be my boyfriend?”

“N-no, I just-“

“I think it will be okay Andy.” She scoffed as she stood up and straightened out her skirt.

“Does Molly know?” He asked, now standing parallel to her, his eyes looking down at her face with a bit of concern.

“No, partially why I’m okay breaking the rule a bit… that and after everything that happened with her dad last year, I want to show her there are still good men in the world,” Bri stated as they walked out of the flat, her locking the door behind them. She turned to look at him, waiting for him to move, but he didn’t.

“Bri what…” He paused, “I know it’s not really my place but what happened with him.” Andrew asked, noticing the pain that was behind her eyes.

“Please not now.” She begged, but he didn’t let up.

“You went back to him, you told me what he did before, why did you do it?”

“Why did you go back to Lyra?” Bridget snapped, scrunching her eyes shut as soon as the words left her mouth. Why did she have to snap at him? He leaned his head back as if the words slapped him across the face.

“I just… I guess I don’t know why you thought you deserved to go back with him. And regarding the reason you told me you left last time, I worry it had to be something worse than him hitting you and I am making myself sick by coming up with various reasons why.” He admitted.

She sighed, looking at her shoes as she thought about the way he screamed, the bitter words that were said, how he fell into old habits, how Molly almost became one of the subjects of his abuse, and how Aisling called the cops to save her. Her eyes welled with tears causing her to curse under her breath as she wiped them away. Andrew immediately wrapped his arms around her but she pushed him away. “I can’t, please.”

Concern filled his eyes as he studied her. She took a breath in to calm herself and grabbed his hand, knowing that the simple use of physical touch would reassure him. “If you hug me I’ll fall apart and… and I can’t do that when I need to pick up Molly.”

He squeezed her hand as if to say he understood, leading her to the car. Halfway down the hall she stopped, looking up at him. “I’ll tell you, I promise… Just not now.”

“I know. Its okay, I’m not mad I’m just worried. I don’t want anything to happen to you and I’m just frustrated that I wasn't there to stop it.”

–

“There she is!!” Bridget cheered as the 5-year-old ran into her mother's arms at pick-up. She vowed to herself that even if the weather was pouring or shine she would always wait at the gate of Molly’s school during pick up. Aisling, who worked at the school smiled from the steps as always making Molly yell “Bye Auntie!!” as usual.

Bri took the tiny wiggles-themed backpack and slung it over her shoulder, taking the girl's hand and walking her to the car.

“How was your second day of school love?” She asked softly, in that tone that only mothers make.

“Good, Aoife and Ciara sat in the canteen with me today. Then we got to sing a song about the names of the people in our class.” She beamed, Looking up to her mother.

“I’m glad you had a good day a grhá. Do you remember Mammy’s friend we saw a few weeks ago? Back when we went to the restaurant with Auntie Aisling and Uncle Rory in July?” Bri asked getting a nod in response from her daughter.

“I like him, mammy, he’s funny.” She smiled, walking heel to toe now as her eyes watched her feet.

“What do you think of Andrew having dinner with us tonight?”

“Can he!?” Molly's eyes lit up, causing Bri to smile.

“He’s in the car do you want to ask him yourself?” She laughed, though topped as soon as she had to start picking up the pace as Molly dragged her to her car. It wasn’t much later when the door was flung open, causing Andrew to look over at the tiny child climbing into the back seat.

“Mammy said you’re staying for dinner!!”

“I said you should ask him not hold him ransom!” Bridget laughed, making Andy smile as he watched the two settle in for the ride home.

“Is that Alright with you? If I stayed for a bit?”

__

Chapter Text

Hello!

I apologize sincerely for the late updates and abandoning the book all together.

I have been finding it difficult and tedious to continue this book and I think it’s due to the fact I don’t think the quality of the chapters are consistent. Not to mention I was also 19 when I started this book and hadn’t really experienced what it means to really “live” to some degree.

A lot of Bridget is based in my own recollection of memories because I wanted her to have some form of flaws and substance I knew I could maintain. In doing so I ignored a lot of other characters (like the fact Alex and Andy are best friends but he’s barley mentioned in a lot of the book, that and magically Bri’s family doesn’t show unless needed) and there is a bunch of details and plot holes I think I just haven’t addressed.

In my time at uni I’ve been reading a lot more and annotating and I also have been taking a few classes on writing (my major is communications so I had to) and I know that based on the writing assignments I produced in this last semester, I can write this better.

So this brings me to the reason for the authors note. This book began as a passion project of a silly 19 year old. I had marked down every concert he had from 2011-2017, created a custody arrangement for Molly and mapped that out for the days on who would have her for 4 years, I luckily didn’t have to look up distances because I’ve been living in Ireland for the past year but (I am a American transplant) learning slang and Irish-isms has been another one of the things I hope translates in this book. That being said I feel like I focused more on the facts and dates instead of giving souls to the actual characters.

So to answer a few questions you might have:

1. Don’t worry it’s not being deleted
2. I will be publishing a second book still with the same name
3. I am not expecting you to follow the next book
4. It will be a very similar book but have more details and feel less “Wattpad”

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask I will gladly answer them.

Thank you for everyone who has been with me for the past year and a half, it’s been a crazy ride and I really wouldn’t be writing without your support and kudos.

Signing out for this edition,

- Sophia :)