Archive of Our Own ^beta

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I loved you so

I loved you so much

I'm sorry we left

I'm sorry I had to go

I'm sorry you had to go

I didn't mean for this to happen

I loved you so much.

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You turned me soft

I don't mind

It's a different experience

I thought i’d never experience

I miss my mean ways

But these days with you

Are the best ways

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I thought these would continue

A never ended experience

It seems I was wrong

I’m sorry I lied

I said we wouldn’t part

But the days have seperated

My final moments with you

Are ones I’ll love

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At first you were harsh

Our meets were strange

You took my friend

But the meets didn’t end

You opened up to me

I’ll always thank you for trusting me

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You were always my star

The brightest one too

You shined like no other

Today your glow

Will go

I’ll always miss you

You can now join

Your favorite constellation

Shine bright for me

My shining star

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you were my favorite star

my favorite moments

you had your shines

and you had your cries

no matter where

or when you were

you always had my heart

to see you go

under your place

is a sorrow to see

today and tomorrow

i won't forget the joy you brought

and the moments that followed

as you are my only star

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A day with you

Spent in joy

Spent in sorrow

Spent in grief

Any emotion you may have

You need to express

Is not a day wasted

If it means being with you

Through your sorrow and grief

Through your joy and comfort

Again with you

I love

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For the first time

I felt loved

For the first time

I loved

For the first time

I had somebody

But again and again

I’ve been left

And now by you

I just wish I saw you for the last time

like how I saw you for the first time

My favorite person, again.

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Don’t know what I want

Just wanted you

I finally have you

For weeks to months

I remember the day we met

The day we dated

I was all over you

I loved you so much

I’m sorry I couldn’t see the day

The day of our joy

The day that marks the date

That we had our date

But today marks the date

That you need to continue

The date that marks the end of my chapter

To leave yours hurts

But to be with you for most of mine

Are the chapters I won't forget

In the next life to fourth

I will always remember our anniversary.

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Thieving, stealing, taking what's wasn’t yours

That's what you always did

What you always did

You took my friend away

Well, not in a literature way

You quite literally took him. You bugnapped him.

I was mad, as i shouldve been.

I was sad, worried for my friend.

I never expected the day that karma would bite you back.

The day you would be trapped under the very place we first met.

The way you kidnapped my friend

Although you never hurt him

Karma kidnapped your life and trapped your soul

Under the sharp metal and rock, i am sorry.

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just a divider for poems and fics

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It was a lovely day, autumn and all. Thomas and Gradient joe had been awake for a few hours and it was currently 2 PM. They had planned to bake something for each other a few days ago, but unfortunately, baking is not everyone’s skill.

Right now, there was a small fire in the oven, a panicking flyswatter standing in front of it, Gradient Joe was outside doing something, he’d be home soon. He was most likely visiting Bugbo or just out somewhere. He couldn’t get too close to the fire aswell or he’d melt, sure he has pieces of metal but his flyswatter parts were plastic, and fire melts plastic. He could call Gradient Joe, but he didn’t wanna interrupt whatever he was doing. He was on his own in this situation.

The fire had gotten a bit bigger while he was considering what to do, and the house didn’t really have a fire extinguisher. It also wasn’t a fire in a pan so he couldn’t just put a lid over it. He has seen those fire videos about using baking soda or whacking it with a towel, but none of those would work since this fire isn’t as small as those fires.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the door lock unlock, he immediately ran over. As soon as Gradient Joe stepped through the door, Thomas hugged him tightly, Gradient Joe returned the hug to him. After a bit they finally pulled away.

“Hi Gradient Joe!!”

Gradient joe pulled out a piece of paper, there were some scribbling noises before he finally showed Thomas the paper.

Hello Thomas, how are you today?

“I’m doing good today, Joe! Thank you for asking!”

Joe started writing again on another sheet of paper in his usual red marker, and then showed it to Thomas again.

What’s that burning smell?

Thomas’s expression changed as he ran to the kitchen, Gradient Joe followed in a fast walk behind him. Thomas just stared at Joe, nervous since his usual white gradient was purple now. Joe quickly shut the oven door and turned off the heat, it might not go out but at least it wouldn’t get bigger, but hopefully it would go out.

Gradient Joe’s gradient turned into a lighter purple mixed with a bit of red, it wasn’t too heavy in colors but it was still there. He grabbed out his marker again and a piece of paper, there would be some scribbling noises and he showed the paper to Thomas.

How did you cause a fire?? What happened??

The handwriting was a bit messy as it was semi-rushed.

“I was trying to bake something for you but it caught fire”

Gradient Joe just imitated what seemed to be a sigh, his gradient going back to his usual black to white sphere. He wrote something down on a piece of paper.

Next time, be careful. Why don’t we try again together this time so you don’t burn down the house.

Thomas nodded, a soft smile going onto his face, Gradient Joe’s white gradient turning into a soft, pale yellow.

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It was one of those nights where Thomas and Joe would sleep together. While it wasn’t unusual for Thomas to cuddle up closely with Joe, he had always wondered why he did. 

“Hey Thomas, I have a question.”

“Hm?”

Thomas looked up, he was a bit shorter than Joe, and always had his head cuddled into the crook of Joe’s neck.

“Why do you always sleep so cuddled close to me? I don’t mind it or anything, just curious.”

“Huh, I thought you knew, but whatever! I can tell you.”

“I’m always so cuddled up because you’re warm.”

“What do you mean by that? Are you not warm too?”

“Not exactly, I can feel warmth from you and i can get semi-warm from stuff like blankets, but your body heat can warm me up better than those”

“So do you always just sleep mostly cold?”

“Yeah I guess so”

“Why not? Does your body not produce heat?”

“Not really, saying that i’m not really human anymore and dont have human like features”

“Huh, well, just go to sleep now, we can talk tomorrow”

They nuzzled their heads together like cats would, in a way to show a kiss. Thomas put his head back into the crook of his neck, and soon after drifted to sleep.

Joe stayed awake, rubbing the inside of his flyswatter hand with a finger quietly as he thought about things, and soon drifted off to sleep too.

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Thomas shot up from his bed, breathing heavy and fast as he looked around, his breathing only calming down once he realized he was still in his room.

He sat on his bed and sighed, he had been getting these nightmares more and more now, they’re usually of him turning into a flyswatter or his lair collapsing but much much worse. Now that he was thinking of the lair, he could still feel when his metal was bent weirdly, eugh.. yuck..

He got up from bed and walked out his room as quietly as possible, he walked into the kitchen and checked the digital clock on the counter, it was 7:30 AM, Joe was probably gone by now, he woke up really early at certain times to go out to do his job or something, whatever Joe had to do it was always early in the mornings, the Sun was barely up too.

He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and filled it with water and spun the water around in the cup, spilling some. He could deal with the small spills later.

He took out some food dye from somewhere and put a few drops in, watching as the drops spun around in the small water current and slowly mixed into the water. Joe didn’t know about his nightmares, he never told him about them. Joe was a wonderful partner, but he was too good for Thomas, he didn’t need to know about what burdened him or what brought him down. It’d probably free Joe if he had died in the lair rubble, but he didn’t. Fear had taken over his mind and he had survived, he had escaped from it somehow. He had just wished that he died instead and that Joe didn’t fall in love with him.

His mind continued to spin around with these thoughts, they spread further through and got darker, like how the water did after the food coloring had been added. 

At some point he had pulled himself out of his own thoughts. It was 8 AM, his mind had been swirling around for about 30 minutes, he got up from where he was sitting and poured out the water, rinsing the cup well and making sure no color was in the sink. He put away the food coloring and walked back to his room. 

He stared outside, the sun was up at this point, not all the way up but you could see it coming up, he had decided that today was going to be a sleep in day. It’s not like he had any plans today, Joe was gonna hang out with his bug friends, come back home during the afternoon or night, they’d talk, and then go to sleep. Joe was a kind man, he loved Joe, Joe loved him, but he always wondered if Joe deserved Thomas, sure he says that what he does is enough, but he could’ve been lying to make him feel better.

His thoughts spiraled down a dark path as he drifted down into sleep, a semi-peaceful sleep that would bring him away from his worries and into a peaceful state.

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In another Globe, there was a version where most people were Vampire Hunters, like Thomas’s boyfriend, Gradient Joe. His friends were vampire hunters too, he didn’t mind, he knew Joe wouldn’t actually kill him, maybe threaten him out of fear but he’d never actually harm him.

He had seen Joe and his friends kill vampires, he had watched them from the shadows at night. Hollow Clown was one of the vampires he knew, he watched Joe kill him, while vampires couldn’t feel heavy emotions, he still felt sadness filter through him.

Once Joe and the others left the body, he swiftly and silently moved down to the poor vampire clown’s body. He sat beside it for a while until he heard shouting come from a familiar voice, Joe’s friend. He quickly moved back to the shadows, just before they came back.

He had seen others like that Quienteon guy be killed too, he didn’t really care but seeing one of his own kind dead still hurt. He always paid his respects and left flowers on their body. They were usually destroyed but he would still leave them.

Back to the current time, he had been watching a movie with Gradient Joe, they had been sitting together on his bed. While it’s hard to hide his fangs while eating, he always made some effort to still hide them, even if he trusted Gradient Joe. He had decided that today would be the day that he finally told Joe about how he was a vampire, after all they have been together for years.

About an hour or two later, the movie finally finished, Thomas yawned, he had been resting his head on Joe’s shoulder, who had his arm wrapped around Thomas and had been softly patting his side in a comforting way. 

“Hey Joe, I have something to tell you”

“Hm? Yeah? What is it?”

“So, you know how we’re both vampire hunters?”

He always felt bad lying to Joe, especially about being a vampire hunter, when he was what Joe and his friends hunted.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“I haven’t been exactly honest with you.”

“Oh?”

“I’m uhm,”

Bah! Why was this so hard! It didn’t seem so hard before, but like always, Joe listened to him, even if he struggled to speak. It was sweet, he had no idea WHY he was so scared, Joe wouldn’t judge or hurt him, he was just afraid for no reason.

“Grub this is taking forever for me to spit out I’m sorry”

He took a deep breath, and shouted it all out at once.

“I’mnotactuallyavampitrhunterI’mavampire!”

He looked at Joe to see what his reaction was, he looked the same but his white gradient had gotten a bit smaller. He stood up and looked down at Thomas, who had a nervous look on his face.

“Could you stay here really quick my dear?”

“Uhm, yeah of course!”

Had he messed up? Oh grub was her nervous, Joe had walked out the room, he was alone in his own room, usually he didn’t mind but now it felt odd, uneasy. He took a few deep breaths and looked outside, it was rainy, the rain softly tapping against the glass. He always thought they sounded odd, they made specific patterns, but he didn’t pay too much attention. The rain sounded nice. The tapping if the rain in their specific pattern got harder. Tap, space, tap. Tap tap space. Space tap. Tap space tap, tap tap space, space tap. It repeated, sounded nice, the rain sounded like it was getting harder, it was starry tonight, the stars glowed from time to time. Glow, glow, glow, glow. Glow glow dark. Glow dark glow. Glow dark glow. Dark glow dark dark. It was strange why they behaved like this, but it was pretty, the rain was calming too. He was probably overthinking it all, he sighed and listened to the rain as he calmed down.

It had been awhile, and he had just been staring outside, he hadn’t even noticed when Joe came into the room again and put a stake to his throat.

“Joe?.. What are you doing?”

“Doing what I always do to you disgusting vampires.”

It felt like a blade had just torn into him. To hear his own boyfriend of years say an insult to him. After everything they did, cooked, made, all of it, down the drain just because he was a vampire. While he didn’t have normal anatomy like one, a good stab to the same spot could easily kill him, and Joe knew that.

“But why?”

“You know why, I’m a vampire hunter, you’re a vampire. We can’t exist together. Either I die or you die. I can’t believe you LIED to me too! After all these years were you going to suck all my blood? Were you gonna turn on me and Bugbo?!”

“I knew I should’ve trusted him! I knew I shouldn’t have gone on that stupid date with you!”

That was all it took to knock him off. He just stared up at Joe, mouth slightly open in shock. He took the stake with a shaky hand and put it to where his heart would be. An easy stab there could kill him, even without a heart, the metal would bend and if broken or punctured seriously, it could kill him. He continued staring up at Joe, who had a mix of colors, red and blue, they weren’t mixed into a purple, but mixed together in a way that you could see each individual color. Like a spiral in a way. He continued to stare up at Joe, and only moved the stake closer to his own body, inviting Joe to do what he was going to do.

Joe just stared down at him, before shoving the stake into his metal, a noise of the metal being punctured coming out. It wasn’t a nice noise for the two of them to hear, and Thomas loosened his hold on the stake. He just stared down at Joe’s feet as his view slowly blackened, he was in too much pain to say how he loved him one last time.

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You’ve been here before, this same alley. Why are you here again? What’s the point? This is where you watched Thomas watch Hollow Clown be killed, you have no point in being here, why don’t you go back now..

You’re back to the room, Thomas’s room. He’s watching a movie with Gradient Joe, you already know how this goes, why don’t you just speed it up? You know Thomas dies in the end, just hurry it up. The movie still has two hours left until he dies. Fine, whatever, you can continue doing you, I won't bother you, I’ll be back in two hours.

I’m back, how was the movie, actually, I don’t care. After this, Thomas is gonna tell Joe, he’s gonna go get his stake, kill Thomas, and dispose of his body after telling his friends who congratulate him, blah blah blah. It’s not gonna work, but whatever, you do you.

Tap, …. , Tap

Tap, Tap, ….

Tap, ….

You know this is pointless right, there’s no use in trying. So stop trying, just give up, let him die, you can’t change it. You can’t change his story, it’s supposed to go this way. 

See, look, he’s back and the stake is at his throat, lets just see what happens, come on, we can phase through and into the room.

“I knew I should’ve trusted him! I knew I should’ve never gone on that stupid date with you!”

Thomas just stared up at him, his eyes were spirals like usual, they were odd, they never moved, they never spun. Until now they did. Thomas swiftly appeared behind Joe, they had the ability to move fast, undetected. He could teleport yes, some vampires could, he could, but he chose not to do so. He moved Joe’s head to expose his throat and quickly bit down, Joe struggled, of course he would, why wouldn’t he. But the type of vampire Thomas was, he could inject a fluid into the victims body, it’d calm them down, paralyze them even. The effect was slowly taking place on Joe, as his struggles faltered slowly, and his white gradient went smaller, dimmer. Eventually, his white gradient had dimmed, Thomas pulled back away from his neck and laid him down onto the ground. He stared at the body, and put his hand on Joe’s hand. He would put his body somewhere they both had enjoyed spending together, and he would put flowers that Joe liked too. While Joe might not enjoy them wherever he may be, Thomas will always love him, even through his hatred of him.

Well, isn’t that new, I guess we’ll have to mark that down. Why don’t we leave him alone for now, I think he’ll need it.

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guys i promise im writinf something i just have no motivation i have 2 things i need to finish writing

also im getting into a new fandom thats takjng over my mind i promise ill post more soon giys 😭😭

ill get a post or two in by timorrow i swear

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Thomas had been stuck under rubble of his lair for hours. It had been day time when it first got destroyed, about 5ish pm. It had now turned dark, the stars were twinkling, and all he heard were the chirps of crickets that weren’t so sentient like the rest. He had gotten his upper half of his body free, he could continue trying but something got injured in his leg, it had been throbbing the entire time. Although he can’t feel any pain now, it was still painful in a way. A numbing pain to be exact. He had cuts and scratches all over him, metal and plastic, he was hoping somebody like Joe would come, but he didn’t. He just sighed and continued staring up at the sky, he was tired, he felt like his life was hanging on by a thread, his whole body ached. It ached and ached, the numbing throb moving through him like electricity in a conductive piece of metal.

He heard light footsteps near him, above him, upper right maybe? He doesn’t know, he just hears footsteps, it’s a pair of two feet, not Gerbo or Hoppo, Bugbo probably doesn’t even make sound when he walks, is it Joe? He hoped so, in his last moments he could spend it with his one and only beloved, a good way for him to spend his last moments. He craned his head up a bit, not far enough to see tho, everything ached, he just let out a soft sigh and moved his head back. After a few more seconds he heard somebody sit down next to him, they were quiet. He saw a faint blue glow, it was Gradient Joe. Gradient Joe was here and next to him, his body untensed a bit. 

He felt a hand grab one of his flyswatters, and felt them hold it. He just sat there holding his hand, and soon he brought his gradient head to his hand, bumping them together carefully. It was how they exchanged kisses, they bumped their heads together, since Joe didn’t really have a face. They sat like that for what felt like hours, Joe sitting next to Thomas as he stared up in the sky, it was comforting in a way. He felt his body get colder in a way, when your fingers get too cold and numb to feel. He was tired, he should rest his eyes for a bit, yeah, he’d do that. He let his eyes close as Joe held his hand, soon after he drifted away into a peaceful sleep, not knowing it would be his last. A last night with his only one, Gradient Joe.