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“AH FUCK-!” The shout reverberated across town with the force of someone who had made the worst fuck up of their life.
“How in the hell did you even—-“ Jesse started, eyes trailing to the command block and then to the wall that had now been demolished. “Y’know what, save that for later. There’s clearly a *larger* issue.”
Quite literally, one should add, as PAMA now stood (or as they actually were more so caught between laying back and leaning) at the size of a fucking skyscraper. The large computer made some kind of mechanical groan, clearly not comprehending what had just happened. Somehow, their clothes had survived the ordeal unharmed. Probably due to command block shenanigans.
“Honestly? I just found it.” Radar admitted with a shrug. How the hell was he so calm? Maybe it was just shock.
“Alright—“ Jesse inhaled sharply, pinching their nose. “How did you make the computer… HUGE?” They pointed wildly at the kaiju-sized computer that was now in the middle of moaning about something.
“Uhhh…” Radar tapped one foot as he searched his mind. PAMA moaned louder. “What?”
“Why do I feel so… weird?”
“Probably because you’re…. A bunch of blocks tall?” Radar waved his arms a little.
“Besides that.”
“Uhhh… What kind of weird?”
PAMA put one hand on their stomach and winced. “Something feels… wrong here. It hurts.”
“How does it hurt?” Radar had one eyebrow raised now and his stomach had now started to turn into a butterfly habitat. Had he fucked PAMA over big time? The massive machine winced.
“I have a theory…” They managed before wincing again. “I think I am hungry.”
“WHAT-?” Jesse and Radar managed simultaneously. The two exchanged glances.
“PAMA that literally isn’t possible-“ Jesse shoved their head into their hands. “You’re a *computer* you don’t eat! You don’t even have a stom—“
A loud growl pierced the air. PAMA shoved their screen into their hands.
“Wow. Um. This is probably the weirdest day I’ve had in my entire life. And I’ve… Well. Yeah.” Jesse gripped the sides of their hair and scratched their temples. “Can they even eat? Will they starve? Do you know how to turn them back?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…” Radar twiddled his fingers together. “I don’t know? To all of those questions?”
PAMA whined loudly. Now citizens had started to pool around the scene, some confused, others terrified, and some pitying the poor computer who’s day had turned from weird to bad.
“Here.” Jesse handed Radar a cookie. “You climb PAMA and give them that. That’s an order.” Jesse winked tiredly with that last word.
“I don’t think this will do much for them.” Radar whimpered. “I mean, look at them! It’s like drops into an ocean!”
Jesse shrugged defeatedly. “It’s worth a try.” They said, putting their hands onto the command block.
Radar sighed, pocketing the cookie and stared up at PAMA, who seemed to be trying to melt into the ground. He scrounged through his inventory, found a good stack of dirt blocks and built up to PAMA’s now massive screen. He hoped that Harper was too busy doing something to be witnessing this.
“Here.” Radar croaked, holding out the cookie. PAMA took it between two way too large fingers and it vanished into the mouth of their screen. A whine escaped them and they clutched their stomach, which now groaned as if it were demanding the manager.
“That’s all I had!” Radar whined loudly, trying to ignore the impulse to cry. PAMA didn’t meet his gaze, they just whimpered and kept wincing.
“Owie.” They murmured. Radar sighed defeatedly and started to break down his dirt tower. As he did so, a thought crossed his mind. Perhaps, if he made the cookies fit into his inventory yet be large, like some structures were from other worlds when pulled out of an inventory, he could solve this whole issue!
Or at least one of them, anyway.
He stepped onto the ground, pocketing the remains of his tower, and got to work. If he could figure out the command… Get a few stacks of 64…A few minutes of trial and error passed, but he managed to make a breakthrough. He held up the massive cookie triumphantly before repocketing it. He built another tower and met PAMA face to face.
“What…?” PAMA mumbled, semi-distantly.
“Look at what I have!” Radar shouted excitedly. PAMA sat back and Radar hopped onto their stomach. They brought their head to his level as he pulled out one of the large cookies. “See! I solved it—“ He couldn’t even finish before PAMA descended upon it and devoured it immediately. Their eyes widened afterwards and looked right back at him, a little more energy behind them.
“How many do you have?” PAMA’s large grin made Radar want to run for the hills.
“Uh… A few stacks of 64…” Radar held the individual stacks out of his inventory. “I went a little overboard, obviously.” He snickered, right as PAMA proceeded to snatch the stacks right out of his hands. “Ah—no! You’re going to make yourself sick!”
PAMA either didn’t care or didn’t hear him, as made obvious by the fact those cookies proceeded to disappear into nothingness. Radar wondered why the ground was growing further and realized with a strange pit in his stomach that PAMA’s own stomach had swollen quite a bit. He shoved his head into his hands and sat down. A familiar groan pulled him out of his thoughts and he heard the “ground” below him rumbling.
“I told you. I fucking told you.” Radar huffed, staring at the massive computer. Another growl escaped PAMA’s stomach and they winced for a new reason, tears prickling at the eyes on their screen. Radar sighed. “Hopefully this won’t happen again.”
“It hurts…” PAMA whined in a way all drawn out and achy. Their stomach gurgled and they seemed to start to sob.
“I’m sorry!” Radar shouted, absentmindedly trailing his hand against PAMA’s stomach. They stopped sobbing for a moment and looked at him.
“Do that again.” And Radar obeyed. They laid back and stared at him, a strange little smug smirk on their face. Radar sighed.
“Fine, but only because I got you into this mess.” He said, rubbing PAMA’s stomach in small circles. PAMA seemed to purr as he did so. He fought a smile off his face. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as he thought it was…