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Chapter Text

Sendak sighed at seeing the stack of personnel files on his desk. He knew his training rotation was coming up, but he still didn’t like it. He’d have to spend the next ten or so years of his career away from the frontlines, training a new generation of cannon fodder, with maybe a few cadets that wouldn’t be a complete waste of time, but who would probably be killed a few months after they graduated from the program anyway.

It was all pointless, and he could be doing so much more for the Empire at the expansion edge, but this was his duty, too, and so he’d do it.

The files had been presorted by Haxus. Sendak got the first pick of this new batch of cadets, being Zarkon’s favorite, and Haxus had three neat categories: exceptional cadets, subpar cadets, and cadets in the middle. Of course Sendak would keep the exceptional ones and send the subpar ones on to other commanders in their training rotations; Sendak trusted Haxus’s judgment. 

So it was only the last category that Sendak had to review. He needed about ten more cadets to fill out the cohort, and they’d have to come from this borderline-average group. 

He flipped through the files, putting most in the reject pile; he only wanted to train the best. Only the very best were likely to make it out of this endless war alive, after all. There was nothing wrong with these cadets, at least on paper, but there was nothing special about them either. 

At least until he got to one file. Sim scores were at the very front, and this cadet’s scores were better than most in the exceptional group, from hand-to-hand to piloting and everything in between.

Perhaps Haxus had made a mistake in sorting, although… Haxus did not make mistakes.

There must be a reason this cadet’s file didn’t immediately go into the exceptional pile.

Sendak flipped the page, and…

Ah.

The cadet was a halfbreed, and it would be a waste of Sendak’s time to train him, because no halfbreed would ever be promoted above cannon fodder.

And yet… 

Sendak needed one more cadet to round out the cohort, and a quick glance at the rest of the pile showed no other scores even remotely close to the halfbreed’s.

Sendak had only seen scores like that once before, and they’d belonged to a halfbreed, and now the man was making a name for himself. 

Why not take a chance on his cadet?

Worse case scenario… he ended up dead, like most of the hundreds of cadets Sendak had trained over the years.

What was one more?

The new training cohort stood at attention as Sendak did a quick inspection. He tried to time his training rotations to coincide with the repair and maintenance needs of his fleet, and so he had a lot of other work to be doing right now, but since the cadets had just come aboard…

He felt that a soldier should always know the face of his commander.

The vast majority of cadets in the training program were taken from Galra orphanages, as Sendak himself had been. It was the only upward path for orphans in the Empire, the only way to make something of yourself. 

Most of them would die before they ever had the chance.

They were all on the cusp of adolescence, fifteen to seventeen years or so, a relatively even mix of males and females. 

Sendak knew instantly which one was the halfbreed. His skin was pale, unnaturally so, and he already stood half a foot shorter than the rest of the cadets. Once they hit their final growth spurts, Sendak had no doubt that the gap would only widen. He had no fur or scales, and a mop of inky black hair. Half his face was swollen, leaving one eye swollen shut, dark bruising discoloring his skin in the most striking way.

Perhaps there was already infighting among the cohort.

They would have to learn that Sendak did not tolerate any such thing.  

“Cadet,” Sendak addressed him, “step forward.”

The cadet flinched, just a little, but stepped forward without hesitation.

“Who else has been fighting?”

No one else stepped forward. The cadets all just stared ahead, not moving an inch.

“If no one will come forward,” Sendak said, “then you will all run laps around the ship until dinner time. Go.”

No one moved.

“Go!” Haxus barked.

That got everyone moving, and once the last of the cadets jogged away, Haxus turned to Sendak.

“I thought you might choose the halfbreed,” he said casually.

“His scores were good,” Sendak said.

“Mm,” Haxus agreed. “He also gets into a lot of fights.”

“I imagine he’s the target of a lot of harassment,” Sendak said.

“I have no doubt,” Haxus said. “Well, if he causes too many problems, you can always boot him from the program.”

“I doubt anyone’s given him a chance before.”

“Then he better not waste it,” Haxus said, before turning Sendak’s attention back to his ships’ maintenance. 

Chapter Text

Two years into the training rotation, and Sendak was already more than ready to be done with it.

The oldest of the cadets were in the last stages of puberty, and the males were completely unbearable. Fortunately the male quarters  were across the ship from the female quarters, so he hadn’t had to deal with anyone falling pregnant, and hopefully the female cadets were bright enough not to allow such a thing to happen anyway, considering they weren’t the ones under the influence of such powerful hormonal changes.

Sendak couldn’t remember being this bone-headed during his first peak, but it had been a long time ago, and his cycles were much less severe now. Still…

The fighting was nearly constant, to the point that Sendak had mandated that all the cadets spend the entire day on the training deck, from the start of the active cycle to the end, until the issue was resolved.

Sendak was not a young man anymore, and the idea of spending every single day on the training deck from breakfast to dinner was exhausting, but if they would not learn control, then it was the only option. 

At least the cadets would be exceptionally fit by the end of this? 

Perhaps it might even allow them to survive a little longer in this endless war.

Sendak had not bothered to learn any of the cadets’ names -why should he? They’d be dead just as soon as they left the training program -but he did recognize the little halfbreed on sight.

Obviously; there could be no mistaking him.

It was after dinner, and there were strict curfews in place for the cadets -to help prevent the aforementioned pregnancies -and while Sendak could commend the cadet’s dedication, he shouldn’t be on the training deck now . 

Sendak wouldn’t even be here, except the officers’ training deck was malfunctioning -something to do with the maintenance cycle -and so…

Sendak watched the halfbreed from the doorway for a moment. The halfbreed hadn’t noticed Sendak yet, and continued his training level.

Sendak was impressed. The halfbreed was not quite sexually mature, not quite an adult, though it wouldn’t be long. A year, perhaps, at most. There might be a final growth spurt at that time, but perhaps not, which meant he might remain at his diminutive height for the rest of his days (however many of those he might have).

The halfbreed ripped through the level with a speed and ferocity that Sendak hadn’t seen in trained soldiers. 

He made obvious mistakes -to be expected of a cadet, especially one who had to be exhausted from training all day -but there was potential . The same potential that had made Sendak choose him over so many other candidates. 

It was a shame he’d never be an officer. 

“Keep your arms up,” Sendak said. “Keep your elbows close.”

The cadet froze, sustaining a sharp blow to his ribs for his trouble.

Sendak deactivated the training program. 

“Sir!” The cadet said, scrambling to salute properly. 

Sendak did not directly oversee the training program; his lieutenants, with the exception of Haxus, took turns with each rotation. Still, the cadets all knew who Sendak was.

“It’s well past curfew, Cadet,” Sendak said.

“Yes, sir,” the cadet mumbled, his face flushing in the most intriguing way. Galra didn’t flush, at least not visibly, but this cadet’s face turned red, mostly in the cheeks. 

Sendak had never seen such a thing before.

“Why are you here?”

“Sir?”

“Why are you training past curfew? Haven’t you been training all day?”

“Yes, sir,” the cadet said. “But I wanted to… I want to be better.”

Sendak remembered that the cadet had come to the program with his face swollen and bruised. The cadet was much smaller than the rest of the cohort, an easy target. 

“Go to bed, cadet,” Sendak said finally. “You’ll be useless tomorrow if you’re dead on your feet.”

The cadet seemed surprised -he’d probably expected a punishment of some kind -but he just nodded. “Yes sir.”

Sendak watched him leave, noting the grace and strength of his body. The determined set of his shoulders.

It really was too bad the cadet could never be an officer; Sendak could have made him into one of the best. 

Chapter Text

Sendak allowed the lieutenants to deal with discipline within the training cohort as they saw fit, and he heard occasionally of fights breaking out and the subsequent punishments, as well as other, less serious infractions.

Unit cohesion had to come first, and the sooner the cadets learned that, the better.

It wasn’t until Lieutenant Bretak stormed into his office, one eye swollen shut, with claw marks raking one cheek, did Sendak realize he had a more serious problem on his hands.

“You need to expel that little upstart,” Bretak said with no preamble, “or I’m putting in my resignation. I’d rather serve on the front than deal with that little half-breed any longer.”

“Sit down,” Sendak said. “Did he do that?”

Bretak did not sit down. “Did he-? Of course he did! None of the other cadets would dare attack an officer! He’s out of control, Sir! Every time I have to go break up a fight, you can bet he’s involved. Three fights this week alone, and he already broke someone’s nose. What’s next!”

“What happened?” Sendak asked. Bretak was usually a level-headed, serious man, but he did have a bit of a dramatic streak. Once he cooled down a little, he’d probably be a little more reasonable.

“One of the sergeants was leading the afternoon conditioning class, and she said that the fight just started out of nowhere! She called me and a few others in to handle it, and I’ll tell you right now, that mongrel fights like a feral thing-“

“Half-breed or not,” Sendak interrupted, “I won’t have you using that kind of language to describe any member of the Emperor’s host.”

“Yes, sir,” Bretak said. “So anyway, he threw a punch before I could get him restrained. He can’t stay with the cohort. I’ve never seen so many fights in so short a time, Sir. You have to expel him.”

“I will consider it,” Sendak said. “Send the cadet in, and then go to the infirmary to get checked out. Was anyone else hurt?”

“A few bruises and scrapes. Nothing serious.”

“Good.” Sendak dismissed him with a wave of one hand and turned back to his paperwork. The cadets were kept on the other side of the ship; he had a few minutes before the troublemaker showed up.

Eventually, a sergeant came to deposit the little half-breed into the chair facing Sendak’s desk.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Sendak asked, setting his tablet aside.

The half-breed didn’t say anything, just looked down at his feet, his face flushed that strange red flush. 

Sendak took the opportunity to give him a once-over. The cadet was a little older, right on the cusp of sexual maturity. 

Could that be the cause of this spate of aggression? 

Sendak supposed so, although…

The cadets hands were bruised, his lip was split, his breath came in stuttery heaves, and both eyes were blackened. Red liquid -blood? -streaked down his face and torso, likely from a broken nose.

All of the other cadets were bigger than he was -the little half-breed was, well, little . Most of the others had already reached their adult height, even the ones younger than him. Sendak hoped, for his sake, that the half-breed grew at least another half-head in height. 

“I suspect,” Sendak drawled finally, “that you did not instigate all of the fights.” 

Galra were predators, after all; it was in their nature to single out the weakest of any group, and this cadet would certainly be an easy target. 

He’d shown up to the training rotation already bruised, after all.

“No, Sir.”

“But some of them?”

The cadet hesitated a little longer, then nodded.

“You must find better ways of dealing with such things,” Sendak said. “A scuffle between cadets is one thing, but you cannot attack an officer like that.”

“He started it,” the cadet muttered. 

Sendak wasn’t sure if he heard correctly at first. “What was that?”

“He started it,” the cadet repeated, this time angrily. “He saw some of the other cadets beating me, and when I asked for help, he told me that I should learn to take a real beating, and then- I was only defending myself. He hit me first. I only gave as good as I got.”

“I will review the cameras,” Sendak said. “If there’s anything else you’d like to tell me, now is the time.”

The cadet looked away.

“Very well,” Sendak said. “Go to the officer’s infirmary and get yourself patched up. Expect to hear from me very soon.”

“Yes sir.” The cadet left Sendak’s office.

Sendak pulled up the camera feed from the cadets’ training deck.

Sure enough…

The cadet was only defending himself, with surprising skill, considering his size and the fact that he was outnumbered.

If this kept up… Eventually one of those beatings could be fatal for the little half-breed.

They weren’t supposed to die until after they left the training program, for the glory of the Emperor. 

Sendak would have to do something . 

The cadet was pulled from physical training for a few days, just to make sure his brain didn’t get any more scrambled, and so he was put to work in the flight simulators. 

His scores were astonishing. There were trained veteran pilots who wouldn’t score so high. 

It only cemented the idea in Sendak’s mind that he could not dismiss the cadet. He would be an asset, one day, if he got his behavior under control. 

Sendak first called Bretak to his office, and swiftly reassigned him,  putting another, more senior Lieutenant, in charge of the training cohort. Not Haxus, of course; Haxus really would put his resignation in over that, and Sendak would be totally lost without him. 

And then Sendak called the cadet back to his office.

What he was about to do was practically unheard of, especially for a cadet that was such a handful. Sure, Sendak himself had been personally trained by the Emperor, but that was a long time ago, and he’d proven his loyalty and obedience long before the Emperor had taken an interest in his career.

As far as Sendak could tell, the cadet was neither. Certainly not obedient, anyway, and his loyalty had yet to be tested. 

Sendak was probably just wasting his time. A half-breed could never become an officer, certainly not a high-ranking one. He’d probably be killed a year or two after his training here was complete.

Sendak should just dismiss him, let him make his own way.

But there was no other way, not for an orphan in the Empire, certainly not a half-breed orphan. He’d end up a slave, or starving, or gods-only-knew-what-else. 

If Sendak took him under his wing, trained him himself, then maybe… Maybe he’d stand a fucking chance. 

Chapter Text

“I don’t know why you’re doing this,” Haxus said, standing at Sendak’s side. “I know you have certain…predilections, but surely you don’t have to go through all this effort in order to satisfy them?”

“I’m not doing this for sex,” Sendak said. Haxus knew, better than almost anyone, that Sendak did not have to put in effort in order to get someone in his bed. 

“Then why are you doing this?”

Sendak watched the little half-breed -apparently his name was ‘Keith’ -doing the exercises Sendak had set him to. He was good, though he lacked discipline. Sendak had given him these exercises, which were slow, difficult, and repetitive, in order to teach him some. 

As Sendak watched, he fell from a handstand he’d been trying to hold. From across the room, Sendak couldn’t hear the curse words that he uttered, but it was clear he was muttering something.

Keith picked himself up, walked around for a few moments, shaking out his limbs, then immediately got back into the handstand, even though his arms were shaking with the strain.

“That’s why,” Sendak said. “Look at him. He’s struggling, but he won’t quit. I told him an hour ago he could leave when he was ready, but he’s still here.”

“He’s here because you are,” Haxus said. “As soon as you left, so would he.”

“It’s nearly meal time,” Sendak said. “I’ve got an early meeting tomorrow. Let’s have an early dinner.”

Haxus frowned, but followed Sendak to the mess hall. As they ate, Sendak pulled up the security feed from the officer’s training deck.

Keith was still there, still working on his exercises, though he’d moved on from the handstands.

Haxus scowled. “That doesn’t prove anything. So he wants to impress you, so you won’t send him away. That’ll change in a few months, and by then, you’ll be too attached to do anything about it.”

“I’m not going to get attached,” Sendak said. 

Haxus just gave him a look and changed the subject.

Keith’s days went like this:

He woke up early, before the first shift started, and ran a lap around the entire ship. Then he had the morning meal with the rest of the cadets, wherein he tried to avoid attracting too much attention. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes it made him late to his first lesson of the day with Commander Sendak.

When that happened, Sendak made him run another lap around the ship before they would commence training. 

The other cadets were working through training programs, already grappling with opponents, armed and unarmed.

Sendak didn’t allow Keith to use the programs. Their training consisted of Sendak showing Keith how to do exercises for Keith’s flexibility, strength, and speed, and Keith doing them until his muscles gave out. 

Sometimes he was allowed a break for lunch, sometimes not. If he did get lunch, it meant he’d spent the afternoon on the simulators, learning how to fly. 

If not, he’d continue his physical training until it was dinner time, and after dinner, he’d do two more laps around the ship, before he collapsed into an exhausted slumber, only to do it all over again the next day.

Keith wasn’t sure this was actually a privilege, though everyone said it was. Sure, he was being trained by Commander Sendak himself, but he didn’t even get to use a sword, like the other cadets. The only fighting he got to do was when the other cadets cornered him, and then he was punished if it made him late for his lessons, even though it wasn’t his fault he was late. Sendak was not a man who accepted excuses. 

But he had nowhere else to go, if he was booted from the training program. He didn’t remember the name of his birth planet, much less where it was. His father was dead, anyway, and so was his mother. He had no one and nothing else in all the universe.

Sendak had given him a second chance, when no one else ever had, so…

So he’d put up with all of it, and he’d excel, and one day maybe he could make something of himself. 

Chapter Text

Keith had been feeling unusually restless for the last few weeks. If anyone noticed, no one remarked on it. Keith tried to remedy the restlessness by working extra hard on the training deck, doing extra sets; when that didn’t work, he tried doing more laps around the ship.

He still could barely sleep most nights, tossing and turning and annoying those around him. 

They usually kicked his ass in the mornings, if he kept them up all night, but honestly, Keith wasn’t the only one keeping people up all night. The cadets were afforded very little privacy, and so a lot of them fucked after lights’ out; some were quieter than others. 

He felt better after fighting, usually. More settled. He usually didn’t win, not when it was five or more against one, but that didn’t matter when there was blood on his teeth and bruises on his knuckles.

Eventually, the fighting got back to Sendak. Keith knew it probably would; there didn’t seem to be anything Sendak didn’t know about.

Keith got called to Sendak’s office one morning, instead of meeting Sendak on the officers’ training deck like usual.

Sendak had a stack of reports on his desk, piled high. 

He looked stern, which was not a change from how he normally looked. His praise was always sparing, and it was difficult for Keith to tell how he truly felt about anything.

“These are all the reports of you getting into fights since I started training you personally,” Sendak said. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I didn’t start any of them,” Keith said. “I can’t defend myself?”

“Unit cohesion must come first,” Sendak said. “I know you are at that age, but surely you can deal with your peak better than this.”

“My what?” Keith asked.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Cadet. I know your first peak is coming up, and soon, but that’s no excuse for this.”

“Sir,” Keith said. “I don’t- I’ve heard the other boys talking about it, but I don’t know what that is.”

Sendak looked at him for a long moment. “You really don’t know, do you?” He said finally. “No one’s ever talked to you about this?”

“My parents are dead,” Keith said. “The orphanage didn’t give a shit about me. No one’s given a shit about me except you. Who was there to tell me anything?”

Sendak nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I understand.”

Keith scoffed and crossed his arms.

“My parents died when I was young, too,” Sendak said. “I know how hard it is out there without a family. But I made something of myself, and you will too.”

“You’re training me so I can go off and die for the empire,” Keith said. “Everyone thinks you’re wasting your time.”

“I know,” Sendak said. “But I am the Commander. Do you understand? Nothing anyone else says matters.”

Keith nodded. 

“Good. Now, since no one else had this talk with you…”

Keith squirmed uncomfortably in his seat as Sendak explained about the Galra peak, when males were at the height -or peak - of their vitality. They were stronger, brasher, more virile. Pheromones were given off, to alert other Galra, enticing Galra of both sexes to fight or fuck or both. Stamina increased far beyond normal.

These peaks were of a cyclical nature, though as a Galra aged, they were less intense and further apart. The first was always the most intense, but most boys were prepared for it, and it passed in time.

“Yours will be starting soon. Find someone to fuck you,” Sendak said blandly, at the end of the talk, before dismissing Keith.

It was really not very helpful advice, as other cadets only paid him enough attention to beat him up. It had actually gotten worse since Sendak had started training Keith, due to their jealousy.

But it didn’t matter. Sendak had said it didn’t matter. Keith had made it this far, hadn’t he? 

He didn’t need anyone else. 

Sendak was doing his daily rounds of the ship, mostly to show that he was watching and available to his subordinates. He knew of Commanders who did not leave their bridge or their office during their duty hours; they never knew for sure what the state of their ship was.

Sendak knew. He made daily rounds of every department, from the kitchens to the engineering bays and everything in between. He listened to his crew’s complaints and did his best to rectify them when he could. He knew the fleet’s gossip -which lieutenants were sleeping together, which sergeant was about to go on maternity leave, who had taken to drinking during duty hours (he’d have to look into that) -and now that they were stationed at dry docks, he was getting gossip from other fleets, too.

He did not involve himself in the interpersonal affairs of his subordinates, other than occasionally inviting one or another to share his bed. The Galra sex drive was high, even outside of a peak, even for a man of his maturity. 

(He wasn’t old , just… not as young as he’d once been.)

Haxus usually went along with him during these rounds, unless his presence was required on the bridge. Sendak enjoyed his company. A Commander was not afforded many friends, but he had Haxus, and he didn’t really need more than that.

A Galra warship could be huge, nearly a mile long, with a dozen or more decks. The majority of the crew these days was mechanical, but a third or more could still be organic. Most of the space inside the ship was taken up by the reactor cores and the engine assemblies; only a few areas of the ship housed crewmembers, and those sectors  were usually situated near duty stations.

They were nearing the cadet sector when Sendak heard a commotion around the corner.

His first thought was of saboteurs; such attacks were not rare, even in the heart of the Empire, but the alarms weren’t sounding, and as he rounded the corner, he saw the cause of the commotion:

The little half-breed, in yet another fight.

There were three larger cadets surrounding him, eyeing him warily. Clearly, they’d bitten off more than they could chew. One already had blood running down his face, and another held one arm awkwardly, as if broken or sprained.

Sendak was half-tempted to watch and see what the little half-breed did, but he knew he couldn’t allow this.

“Cadets!” He barked.

The three cadets jumped and turned to face him. They were lanky, in the way that Galra youths usually were; they’d fill out in time. They looked chagrined already; they knew they weren’t supposed to be here.

“Five laps,” Sendak said. “Three for fighting, and two for being unaware of your surroundings.”

“But-“ One of the cadets began.

“Six laps,” Sendak said. “Go.”

The two cadets that hadn’t spoken up glared at the one who had, and then they set off on their laps.

“And you,” Sendak said, turning back to Keith.

Keith set his jaw -bruised that strange reddish-blue color -and spat blood onto the floor defiantly.

It had been a long time since Sendak had seen such fire. 

“Next time, I expect you to win.”

Keith blinked slowly; it was clearly not what he’d been expecting.

The discipline was helping, Sendak knew, but… perhaps it was time to change strategies. The little half-breed had so much to prove. Let him prove it.

“You may spend the rest of the day on the flight simulators,” Sendak said, a tacit reward.

“Thank you, Sir,” Keith said.

Sendak dismissed him and resumed his daily rounds of the ship.

As soon as Keith was out of earshot, Haxus turned to Sendak. “What happened to not getting attached?”

“I’m not attached.”

“Right, Commander, and I’m an Unilu fan dancer.”

“I’d quite like to see that,” Sendak said.

Haxus glared. 

Chapter Text

Sendak wasn’t a young man anymore, and knew how to handle himself around other males, whether they were peaking or not, whether he was peaking or not. 

Something about the little half-breed was making him lose his mind.

He wasn’t getting attached. Certainly not -Sendak was a professional, after all, and anyway… the little half-breed was much too young for him. 

He’d never admit anything to Haxus -Haxus would only laugh at him -but he found ways to spend time with Keith as Keith’s first peak drew near, as he reached that first blush of manhood.

Most males Keith’s age preferred the company of others their age; Keith had no such connections.

Fighting was all well and good, but nothing beat fucking, not when you were young and peaking for the first time, not when sex was the only thing on your mind, whether you knew it or not.

It had been a mistake, on Sendak’s part, to offer to train with Keith at night when Keith couldn’t sleep. It kept Keith from getting his ass beat by the rest of the cohort for keeping them awake all night, but Sendak definitely should have let Keith fend for himself.

It was sheer coincidence that Sendak’s peak was rearing its head, too (or perhaps not; one peak could trigger another).

Sendak should have known better.

But…

But here he was, on the officers’ training deck, in the middle of the night, alone with the cadet he was personally training.

Keith was good. Fast and agile, disciplined now that Sendak had taught him that. He still had a youthful recklessness, but that would be tempered in time, with experience.

It had been a long time since Sendak had been so exhilarated by a training bout. 

Sendak felt young once more, and that reminded him of his first real love, and…

(This was not the time for such morose thoughts, thoughts of what had and what could have been.)

Keith may have been good, but Sendak was better. After all, he had centuries of battlefield experience under his belt. He’d seen every trick Keith tried a thousand times.

Sendak let him wear himself out, and then he ended the bout by pinning Keith to the decking, those slim little wrists stretched far above his head, one of his  legs pinned between Sendak’s thighs.

There was nothing overtly sexual about it.

And yet.

And yet.

Keith’s body was quivering beneath him, shaking from an excess of adrenaline and energy; Sendak had him restrained too effectively for him to do much more than thrust his hips upwards, in a futile effort to throw Sendak off.

All it did was grind Keith’s cock against Sendak’s thigh.

Keith was flushed all the way down to the collar of his flightsuit, and probably past it; Sendak was overcome with the urge to find out.

Sendak realized where his mind was, and threw himself backwards, scrambling away as if burned.

This was horribly inappropriate. Keith was not only his subordinate, he was a cadet, barely an adult, sexually inexperienced, and vulnerable by virtue of him having no close relationships to anyone else.

”Wait,” Keith whined, and if Sendak had been a weaker man…

“I- You-,” Sendak said, trying to explain himself, trying to… He hadn’t felt this flustered in a long, long time. Practically since he’d been a cadet himself. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” Keith asked. “You said- you told me-“

“I know what I said.” And he’d been horribly blunt about it, too; he had very rarely been in that position before. “I didn’t mean me .”

“Who else is there?” Keith said, finally pushing himself up on his hands, still otherwise sprawled in the decking.

It would be so easy to…

Sendak swallowed, trying to control himself. He shouldn’t be here. He ought to leave, tell Keith to figure it out, banish him from the fleet… anything in order to stay in control.

And yet he found himself pinning Keith back down, his nose pressed against the underside of Keith’s jaw, inhaling the rich pheromones that made Sendak want to take him apart. 

Keith was simply too tiny, too inexperienced, for what Sendak would normally do when he had someone pinned down like this.

Keith still squirmed underneath him, unwilling to fully submit, but not fighting to get away.

“Say the word,” Sendak growled. “Tell me to stop.”

He would, of course; there was no honor in taking another against their will. 

Keith hissed, baring his fangs in a challenge. One that said I can take whatever you give me.

Keith’s fangs were nothing impressive, short and blunt. Sendak doubted Keith could even manage to make him feel them.

Still, he was… cute. Tiny, flushed that intriguing red color, and seemingly harmless.

Sendak knew better. Keith had the potential for greatness, one day. 

For now, he was pinned beneath Sendak, in the throes of his first peak, panting and whining like a feral thing, utterly fearless and, despite his mixed heritage, utterly Galra .

“Go on,” Sendak said, pulling back a little, allowing Keith to pull his wrists free. “Show me your cock.”

Keith’s pupils -oddly and arousingly always round -were huge and dark. That flush deepened, too, but he obeyed, reaching down to release the catches on the crotch of his flightsuit.

Sendak did the same, sighing in relief as his cock everted fully. He’d been half-hard all week, as his peak crept up on him, but he’d been too busy to satisfy himself.

Keith’s eyes widened, and no wonder: Sendak’s cock dwarfed his.

Sendak idly wondered if Keith would develop more in the coming years. He hadn’t reached his full growth yet, after all.

Sendak ran a careful claw up the underside of Keith’s cock; Keith shuddered, his head falling back to the decking, his thighs quaking. 

“Poor thing,” Sendak cooed, watching fluid leak from the tip of Keith’s cock. His cock was oddly shaped, blunt and untapered, lacking ridges, but at least he got wet like a proper Galra. “All pent up like this.”

“Fuck me,” Keith gritted.

“How will you run laps tomorrow if I fuck you?” Sendak asked. “You won’t be able to walk, much less train.”

More fluid dribbled from the head of Keith’s cock. Sendak swiped his fingers through it, then brought them to his lips, savoring the raw, masculine flavor. 

(He was told that female Galra tasted similar, but he had no practical experience with that.)

Keith tasted a little different than the other Galra Sendak had fucked, but not unpleasantly so. 

“Besides,” Sendak continued, “I think I should save that to reward you. Have you done anything deserving of a reward recently?”

Keith gave a breathy little moan as his answer.

“That’s what I thought,” Sendak said. He spread Keith’s legs, slotting himself between them, unreasonably turned on by how small Keith was. He braced himself with his prosthetic, and used his organic hand to grasp both of their cocks.

It didn’t take long for Keith to come. He was young, after all, experiencing his first peak, starved for affection. 

One orgasm wasn’t going to do anything but rile him up more, and so Sendak continued, his mouth on Keith’s throat the entire time, sucking dark bruises into Keith’s flesh. 

Keith clutched at Sendak’s shoulders. Sendak almost wanted to stop and undress them both, so that he could feel Keith’s fingers in the fur of his mane.

But no. Not here.

Sendak stroked them both to that thought, the thought of taking Keith to his bed properly, undressing the pretty little thing, following that enchanting flush all the way to wherever it ended with his hands, his mouth…

He doubted Keith would be able to take him fully, but there were other things. He could fuck Keith’s thighs until they were bruised and tender. Those pretty pink lips would look perfect wrapped around the tip of Sendak’s cock. He could pin Keith down and stroke himself off all over Keith’s body, while refusing Keith any sort of release; Keith would surely writhe and whine in the most arousing way.

(If Keith wasn’t a subordinate, Sendak might have even considered allowing Keith to fuck him.)

“Pretty little thing,” Sendak growled. “Come for me.”

Keith did, moaning loudly, and Sendak finally came, too. 

He was glad it was the middle of the night. There was no one else around to witness this.

This couldn’t happen again.

The pleasure of orgasm faded quickly at the realization. This couldn’t happen again. Haxus was right; Sendak would get attached. The pretty little half-breed was just his type.  Hardly the first Sendak had taken a liking to, and look where that had led.

Keith looked dazed as Sendak pulled away for a final time. His body was limp, boneless, temporarily sated. It wouldn’t last, not while he was still peaking.

He was too pretty, and Sendak wanted to kiss him, wanted to claim him, wanted to ruin him for all others.

He stood and tucked himself away. “This won’t happen again,” Sendak said firmly, as much to himself as to Keith. “Figure something else out.”

And then he fled.

Chapter Text

The whole situation was very confusing for Keith. Sendak was the one who kept pulling Keith closer, and now he was pushing him away, and Keith was only doing what Sendak had asked of him.

Of course, Sendak had asked if Keith wanted to stop, but what kind of question was that, when he was pinned down, grinding his cock against Sendak, in the most arousing encounter Keith had ever had? Of course Keith didn’t want him to stop.

Still, he’d heard enough around the ship to know that Sendak was a man of his word. He considered his honor to be his most valuable possession. He was firm, but fair.

He’d told Keith he’d fuck him as a reward.

Keith just had to figure out what was worthy of being rewarded in that manner.

Someone -another cadet -banged on the locked bathroom door. 

Keith looked away from the bruises on his throat -vividly black and blue -in the mirror, startled out of his reverie.

He left the bathroom. The other cadet sneered at him, and Keith bared his teeth right back. So what if the other cadet was twice his size? Keith wasn’t afraid of a fight.

With his peak still lingering, it was just as likely to end in fucking, and that would be alright, too, he supposed. 

The other cadet wasn’t Sendak, but….

  Well. If Sendak wasn’t going to fuck him, then…

Keith followed the cadet back into the bathroom.

“Sir,” Haxus said. “I warned you about this.”

“I know,” Sendak said miserably.

“You're lucky I’m the only one who saw that footage. As I recall, Sir, you were the one who wanted cameras up in every non-private area of the ship, including the training decks. For security, you said.”

“You deleted it,” Sendak said.

“That’s not the point,” Haxus said. “What are you doing with that little half-breed? If you just need someone to fuck, I know of several discreet brothels that can cater to your…tastes.”

“I have never needed to pay for sex,” Sendak said, affronted, “and I never will.”

“I’ll pay,” Haxus said. 

Sendak glared.

Haxus was unfazed. “You’re going to get hurt,” he said. “He’s never going to be an officer. He’ll get himself killed during his first battle, and you’ll have wasted all your time for nothing.”

“I know,” Sendak said. “But…” He couldn’t help but be impressed by the little cadet. He’d started much lower than all the others, because of his stature and his background, but he was still surpassing them. Every metric indicated he would be an asset to the empire as an officer, and while, yes, he was reckless and hotheaded, with time and experience, he’d grow out of it.

He’d never get that chance. Half-breeds could never be officers. 

“He’s too good to give up on,” Sendak said. 

“You should have sent him to Ranvieg’s training rotation when you had the chance,” Haxus said. “I’ve seen that look on your face before. You get it when you’re about to do something stupid, and it’s my job to stop you, Sir.”

Sendak glared again; this time Haxus rolled his eyes.

“Fine, if I can’t stop you,” Haxus said with a heavy sigh, “how can I help you?”

There had been no real fucking, just some grinding and biting, but it was still good. Good enough that Keith actually managed to sleep through the night, and now he was running late for his morning lessons with Sendak.

Sendak wasn’t there.

It wasn’t so unusual. Sendak was responsible for an entire fleet, and sometimes he ran late. Keith’s training was far down on his list of priorities. 

What was unusual was Lieutenant Haxus.

He seemed unhappy to be there, grumbling under his breath about something; Keith couldn’t quite make out the words. 

His mood got worse when he saw Keith. The bruises on his throat crept up over the collar of his flightsuit, and while they weren’t all from Sendak, most were. It was obvious what those bruises were from, though Keith doubted Haxus knew who they were from. 

“Commander Sendak is unavailable for the foreseeable future,” Haxus said blandly. “He has put me in charge of overseeing your training, for some reason.”

Keith couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He’d thought that Sendak was different. That Sendak wouldn't just discard him like so much jetsam. 

He only wanted a chance to prove himself.

“Start with some warmup laps around the deck, then work on your sword forms until I check on you later. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Keith said, trying to swallow his emotions.

Maybe… maybe he could impress the Lieutenant so much that Sendak would hear about it, and then…

Chapter Text

It seemed that nothing ever impressed Haxus, and no matter how hard Keith worked, how many hours he put in, how tired and aching he was at the end of the day, he never got so much as a ‘good job’ from him.

Which was fine -Keith was very used to not getting his hard work acknowledged -but damn. He’d never worked himself so hard for so little before. 

He was still peaking -it seemed to last forever, the hormones of all the other cadets ricocheting off each other in a vicious cycle -and that plus the normal frustration of being ignored for doing a good job, for working himself to the bone, led him to Sendak’s office.

He wasn’t supposed to be there, of course. He ought to be in his simulator training, not that he would ever be a pilot. Haxus had made that clear; he didn’t know why he was wasting his time with Keith, when Keith would probably be killed weeks into his first post. 

Keith also hadn’t thought about what he wanted to say to Sendak. It had been a spur-of-the-moment thing. 

Didn’t matter. Somehow, one way or another, he’d get some kind of acknowledgment, and then…

He stopped abruptly when he entered Sendak’s office. 

Sendak wasn’t there -not unusual, for this time of day -but someone else was.

Keith didn’t recognize them, which was unusual. He’d been on this ship for five years, and it had been a long time since he’d seen an unfamiliar face.

Maybe that in itself wasn’t necessarily suspicious, but the intruder stopped and stared at Keith, just as Keith was staring at him.

The intruder had dropped some kind of canister, and now it rolled under Sendak’s desk. 

The intruder wore a mask, covering the entire face, making it hard to tell, but…

Keith was almost 100 percent sure that he wasn’t Galra. At least not entirely. There was just something, something he couldn’t put his finger on, and…

Everyone on the ship was Galra, wholly Galra, Keith himself being the sole exception. 

The intruder launched himself at Keith, bearing him to the ground.

Keith’s instincts and training kicked in as soon as he was attacked, bringing his knees up towards his chest, and using that to leverage space between them. He managed to squirm away, casting about for a weapon. He had nothing on him except his flightsuit, which offered little protection against the dagger the intruder pulled out.

Keith dove behind Sendak’s desk. There was a panic button there; maybe the alarm going off would frighten the intruder away. 

He’d barely managed to activate the alarm when the intruder caught him by the nape of his neck and pulled him back.

Keith shrugged out of his grip, turning to face his attacker.

The alarm blared; the intruder was still fighting.

Keith had no idea how long it would take for anyone to come investigate the alarm, and so…

If he wanted to live, it was up to him to hold the attacker at bay as long as it took. 

The intruder was only a little taller than Keith, but his arms were disproportionately short, meaning his reach was about the same as Keith’s. 

Keith wasn’t afraid. He felt… exhilarated, if anything. He’d fought the other cadets before, knew he could acquit himself well. So what if this fight was to the death? 

Victory or death, after all.

Keith liked those odds.

The intruder stepped close enough to slash at Keith; Keith sidestepped and hooked his leg around the intruder’s, bringing them both down to the ground.

The intruder lost the knife in the tumble, and they both dove for it. 

The intruder got there first, and, too quickly for Keith to react, slashed at him.

The pain lanced through him like a brand, a bolt of electricity, and the intruder took the opportunity to strike again, and again.

Keith tried to rally himself, but he made the mistake of looking down, and saw all the blood rushing out of his stomach, dripping and pooling on the floor. 

He wasn’t going to die like this.

He had too much to prove. 

It wasn’t ending like this.

He kicked out at the intruder, snarling in rage and pain, a feral little thing, his vision darkening around the edges, but refusing to go down.

The intruder backed off warily, glancing between Keith and the door, readying himself for-

The door slid open, and the last thing Keith saw before he lost consciousness was Sendak, blowing a hole in the intruder’s chest  with a single shot from his prosthetic. 

Keith did not expect to wake up, but he did anyway, in the sterile gray infirmary.

It took him a few moments to realize that it wasn’t the usual infirmary he went to, with its rows of small cots and no privacy.

No, this was a private room, his cot being the only one in the whole room, which was empty except for the medical equipment and a chair, containing a very sleep-deprived-looking Sendak.

“Cadet,” Sendak said, “report.”

Keith opened his mouth to talk, but realized he was too dry to speak. “Water?” He croaked.

Sendak held a glass to his lips, and Keith drained it greedily, water dripping from the corners of his mouth in his haste to drink.

“Report,” Sendak said again, more gently this time.

‘Gentle’ was not a word usually associated with Commander Sendak.

Keith relayed what he remembered -going to Sendak’s office (leaving out the reason why, of course), finding the intruder, sounding the alarm, and the fight -the best he could. Sendak didn’t interrupt, but his frown grew deeper as Keith went on.

“It was an assassin,” Sendak said finally, once Keith was done. “The canister contained a neurotoxic gas.”

“So I saved your life,” Keith said. 

Sendak pinched the bridge of his nose. “You shouldn’t have been there.”

“I saved your life,” Keith repeated. “Do I deserve that reward now?”

Sendak’s ears twitched, in that way that Keith knew meant embarrassment. “We’ll discuss it,” he said finally, “when you’ve recovered.”

With that, Sendak left.

Keith smiled to himself. Sure, it hadn’t worked out the way he’d thought, but he did get what he wanted. Or at least… he was on the right path.

Chapter Text

One thing led to another, and now Haxus was fucking Sendak into his own mattress, and still Sendak had his mind elsewhere.

Haxus had noticed that Sendak hadn’t been sleeping, something that Sendak denied, though of course Haxus was right; Sendak hadn’t slept since the assassin had been neutralized. 

It wasn't that he was worried or anything. It was hardly the first assassination attempt he’d lived through, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. That was what happened when you were the Emperor’s Right Hand, tasked with subjugating the known universe. 

It wasn’t a particularly creative attempt, nor had it been likely to succeed, even without Keith’s intervention.

“I just- why was he there?” Sendak asked.

Haxus sighed, and stopped thrusting into him. “Permission to speak freely, Sir?”

“You are literally inside me,” Sendak said. Besides, Haxus was one of the few close friends he had, and anyway, it was practically cliche for a Commander to be fucking his Lieutenant. Haxus always spoke his mind, whether he had Sendak’s permission or not.

“Just fuck him already,” Haxus said. “It’s clear this infatuation isn’t going away anytime soon.”

“I’m not infatuated.”

“I didn’t say you were, but if the boot fits…” 

Sendak thrust back against Haxus, an attempt to get him moving again; Haxus didn’t budge. He was stronger than his lanky frame suggested.

Haxus bit the edge of Sendak’s ear. “Fuck him a few times, and once his peak is over, I’m sure you’ll both be able to move on. It’s not like he’s your type or anything…”

“I don’t have a type,” Sendak protested. 

Haxus laughed, and resumed fucking Sendak. “Keep telling yourself that, Sir, and maybe one day it will be true.”

Sendak would have said something in rebuttal, but Haxus chose that moment to wrap his hand around Sendak’s cock, and then he was coming too hard to think, let alone string two words together. 

Haxus came not too long after, and he rolled off Sendak’s back.

They caught their breath in companionable silence.

Finally, Haxus sighed again, deeper and wearier this time. “I think it would be good for you, to move on from-“

“Don’t,” Sendak said, turning away from Haxus’s searching eyes. “Don’t mention him.”

“Alright,” Haxus said. “But- you shouldn’t keep moping like this.”

“I’m not moping.”

“You haven't been serious about anyone in a long, long time. I know you were hurt, but…”

“You said this was a bad idea,” Sendak said.

”It is,” Haxus agreed. “But you’re only making yourself miserable. You’re already attached, and if you keep denying yourself, you’re only making yourself want it more. Give in, have a little fun, and get over him.”

”It’s so inappropriate,” Sendak said.

“Well, you’re already letting your Lieutenant fuck you,” Haxus said drily. “Fucking a cadet isn’t that much of a scandal, in comparison.”

”Thanks,” Sendak said sarcastically.

”Of course, Sir,” Haxus said. “Always happy to be of service.”

Sendak rolled over and pinned him down. Haxus grinned lazily and spread his legs.

Sendak rolled his eyes, but fucked Haxus anyway. It was a good thing Haxus was so good at his job; Sendak would never put up with his mouthiness otherwise.

It took a few days for Keith to be cleared to leave the infirmary. By then, he was practically climbing the walls, bored and restless. Lieutenant Haxus came by, to drop off a tablet with several books on military theory on it, and Keith did his best to absorb the information.

Nothing stuck, and he found himself staring at the screen, having skimmed over the same page dozens of times without actually having read a single word.

Sendak didn’t visit again; Keith didn’t really expect him to. Apparently Sendak hadn’t forgotten what he’d promised Keith, in the heat of the moment, and now…

Surely things were weird between them. 

He was surprised, when he was cleared to leave the infirmary, to find that he’d been assigned his own room on the officers' deck. Lieutenant Haxus had signed off on the reassignment, and Keith had no idea why he’d do that, nor what it meant. 

Did Sendak know? If he did, why not sign it himself? If not, then… What was Haxus up to?

Still, it was…

The quarters were tiny. The bedroom had barely enough room for the bed. The bathroom had a tiny cubicle shower, which would have been barely large enough for a full-grown adult Galra. (It suited Keith just fine.) The study had a desk and an armor stand, with just enough room to walk between them.

Keith had never had a room of his own. His earliest memories were from after he’d been orphaned, and the orphanage only had a dormitory, rows upon rows of thin cots and no privacy. The cadet quarters were similar.

But this…

He didn’t even have to share a bathroom. 

Surely this had to be the very height of luxury. 

The very first thing he did was take a long, hot shower, which was completely free of other people banging on the door, demanding that he hurry up.

Chapter Text

It was going to take Keith time to regain his strength after his confrontation with the assassin; apparently he’d lost a lot of blood, and they’d been unable to give him a transfusion of anything other than fluids, which had helped, but not as much as blood would have.

It meant Keith was winded by things that shouldn’t have been a problem. He’d been fit, prior to the confrontation, as any other Galra soldier had to be.

But now…

Now he could barely get through his sword forms in the morning without a break.

He knew, intellectually, that it was likely temporary, and after time and rest and good food, he’d been fine.

But.

He knew his place here was tenuous already. He was a half-breed -Haxus had made it very clear that there were very few places in the Empire for him, and this was one of them only because of Sendak -he was smaller and weaker than the other cadets, he’d never amount to anything. If he couldn’t pull his weight now and continue proving himself with every breath…

He wasn’t afraid of dying. 

But if he had to die, he’d rather it mean something.  Dying as cannon fodder in some meaningless conflict somewhere wasn’t that, but that was his future if he couldn’t keep Sendak’s favor.

So he pushed himself, harder and harder, every day, no matter how breathless he was, no matter how tired and weak he felt.

What else was he supposed to do?

Sendak caught him one day, early, before the other officers would be wanting to make use of the training deck. 

He watched Keith for a few minutes. “You should be resting,” he said finally. “Doctor’s orders.”

”I’m fine,” Keith said. He knew his face was red from exertion, but he was hoping that Sendak wouldn’t know what that meant. He was pretty sure Galra didn’t blush like that. 

“You don’t have to- You still have five years left in your training rotation,” Sendak said. “That’s plenty of time to claim a good ranking.”

If he wasn’t kicked out before that. If anyone would care what his ranking was, when he was only half-Galra. 

“If I can’t keep up with the rest of the cohort,” Keith said, “then you’ll- I mean, you don’t even want me here, do you? You just need some excuse…”

Sendak pinched the bridge of his nose. “ Haxus thinks it’s a bad idea to keep you here, not because of your obvious talents, but because of- personal reasons. But Haxus doesn’t decide who stays and who goes. I do. And as far as keeping up with the rest of the cohort… They haven’t saved my life, have they?”

”So you’re not going to just -send me away while I’m…?” He wouldn’t say it out loud, because he didn’t want to admit that he was weak in this state, but…

”Recovering?” Sendak finished for him. “No, of course not. Take some time and rest, regain your strength. If you feel you must be productive during this time, then read the books Haxus gave you, or work on the flight simulator, or… I’m sure you could find something to do. Your dedication is admirable, but you’re no good to anyone if you work yourself to death.”

”Does it matter?” Keith asked, looking at his feet. “I mean, I won’t get a good posting, even if I rank first in the cohort.” It was highly inappropriate for a Commander to retain any members of their training cohort in their regular crew, once the training rotation was over; Keith would have to find another posting, outside of Sendak’s fleet, if any would take him. 

“I will find you a good posting,” Sendak said. “Show me this dedication for the next five years, and I will call in any favor I have to to find the best possible posting for you, I promise.”

”You would do that for me?” Keith asked, startled. Nothing was free, and he couldn’t remember anyone showing him this level of kindness before. 

“Yes,” Sendak said. “You deserve it. It’s been a long time since I saw this sort of fire. Work hard, and I will reward you, Cadet. You’ve outstripped every expectation I’ve had of you.”

Keith didn’t know what to say to that. The acknowledgement of all his hard work meant everything to him, but he didn’t want to show weakness in front of Sendak. “Thank you, Sir,” he mumbled. 

“Go rest,” Sendak said. “Tomorrow, I’ll see you here to assess your physical condition, and what we can do to get you back in shape. I don’t want to see you back here until then. Am I clear?”

”Yes Sir,” Keith replied. 

“Good. Tomorrow, first thing. Dismissed.”

Keith saluted and left, his mind churning like an unsettled galaxy.

On the one hand: a weight had been lifted from him. With Sendak’s recommendation, surely his status as a half-breed wouldn’t matter nearly as much. 

On the other: it had just occurred to him that Sendak must have, at one time, experienced some kind of serious injury. You didn’t get a prosthetic arm like this just for fun.

Sendak must know what it was like, to feel so weak and useless, surely. 

It was a revelation that made Keith feel just a little less alone in the cold, dark universe. 

Chapter Text

Keith got to the training room early the next morning, and Sendak wasn’t there yet. Normally, he’d warm up by doing a couple of laps, maybe, then some stretches, but Sendak had said to rest, to wait. 

He didn’t want to disobey Sendak, but neither did he want to seem undedicated, lazy…

Plus, he’d been too still for too long. He was restless, needing to do something with his body, so he didn’t have to think .

Sendak came in, at exactly the time he said he would, and Keith was still standing around, internally debating what he should be doing. He hated being that indecisive, but-

“Good morning, Cadet,” Sendak said. 

“Good morning, Sir,” Keith replied, relieved that Sendak was here finally. 

“Let’s start easy,” Sendak said. “Give me one lap, at a comfortable pace. Don’t push yourself. I want you warm, not out-of-breath.”

Keith nodded, and broke into a light jog. It took him longer than usual to lap the training deck, but it did feel good to be moving.

Sendak looked down at his gauntlet when Keith returned to him; apparently he’d been timing Keith. “Alright, good. Do you feel warmed up?”

Not as warm as Keith usually was when he started, but warm enough. He nodded.

”Let’s go through the basic sword forms,” Sendak said. “No weapons today. I want you to focus on doing each form perfectly.”

The forms were the foundations of fighting, the building blocks for the muscles to memorize, so that when the time came to really fight, one wouldn’t have to think. Just act.

Keith went into the first form, a basic ready stance, his body coiled to spring into action.

”Alright, hold it,” Sendak said. 

Keith had already been starting to move into the second form out of habit, but he snapped back into place.

Sendak walked around him, eyeing his form critically. “You’re used to doing this fast, aren’t you?”

”Yes, sir.”

”But not accurately,” Sendak said. “Arm up. Bend your knees…hold it. Good. A little longer…. Alright, next form.”

Keith’s knees had just started shaking with the strain of remaining static for so long. It was a relief to move, lunging out into the second form, body pointed ahead like an arrow.

Sendak made him hold that one, too, giving him minor corrections, until Keith was sure this was actually some form of punishment.

They went through all fifteen basic forms in this manner, until Keith was sweating, and he was ready to finally move on to something else.

”First form,” Sendak said. 

Keith paused, flushed red with exertion and now frustration and anger. “Sir?”

”First form,” Sendak repeated. “Come on, I don’t have all day.”

”I know all the forms,” Keith said. 

“If I am going to vouch for you personally,” Sendak said, “then you won’t just know the forms, you’ll perform them expertly and precisely, fast as thought itself. First form.”

”This isn’t fast,” Keith argued. 

“Of course not,” Sendak said. “You aren’t ready for fast. Accuracy must come first. First form , Cadet.”

Keit did as he was told, still angry, and Sendak made him hold it for even longer this time, pointing out each flaw in Keith’s form until Keith was ready to collapse.

They made it all the way through the basic forms once more before Sendak sent him on a cool down lap.

”You did well today,” Sendak said, before he dismissed Keith. “I know it seems like I’m being hard on you, but I want you to understand that your life may depend on these lessons one day. The forms should come to you as naturally as breathing.”

”Haxus let me use the training programs,” Keith muttered. 

”Those programs are too soft,” Sendak said. “Real combat is nothing like them.”

”I can’t imagine real combat is like this, either,” Keith said. 

“It’s not,” Sendak said. “Nothing ever really prepares you for it. We’re done for the day. I want you to do some reading, and have a good meal tonight. We’ll meet again tomorrow.”

”Yes, Sir.”

They met the next morning, and the morning after that, and the morning after that…

The routine didn’t change. Sendak would have Keith warm up with a lap or two, and then he’d drill Keith on the forms, still static, until Keith was ready to collapse, angry and frustrated enough that he wanted to lash out at Sendak.

He never quite dared to, after the first time. His life depended on Sendak finding him a good posting, one where he wouldn’t immediately be sent out as cannon-fodder. 

Each day, the forms became a little easier. Sendak made fewer corrections, had Keith hold the positions for longer. 

It still felt too slow for Keith. He wanted to move, to show off, show Sendak want he could really do.

To that end, he spent his afternoons in the flight simulator, at first just because he was bored and unable to sit still enough to absorb any of the reading Haxus had given him.

But then he remembered how much he enjoyed it, and eventually, he started climbing up in the rankings. His sim scores had always been good, but now…

It wasn’t real combat, of course, and so the rankings didn’t really mean anything, but he was ranked third, in the whole empire, by the time Sendak said he was fit enough to move on to more advanced training. 

Chapter Text

Sendak didn’t want to admit it, but he was impressed with Keith. Of course he was; he was recovering from his injuries quicker than any full Galra ever could, and even though Sendak knew he was being tough on him, Keith didn’t complain after that first session. He was still dedicated and focused, always trying to prove himself. His sim scores were incredible…

He’d been down this road before, and as badly as it had ended last time, Sendak couldn’t seem to help himself; maybe this time it would be different. 

He called Keith into his office one afternoon, after Keith finished up his daily sim session.

Keith showed up promptly -Sendak expected nothing less -and waited patiently while Sendak finished up the task he’d been working on.

”Cadet,” Sendak said finally.

”Sir,” Keith said, obviously uncertain as to the point of this meeting. 

He knew Keith had been worried that Sendak would boot him from the program while he recovered, and perhaps another commander would have; Sendak was not most commanders. 

(Maybe if it had been any other cadet, for any other reason, maybe Sendak would have. But it was Keith, and Keith had been hurt trying to save his life.)

”Your performance lately has been exemplary,” Sendak said.

That rosy little flush started blooming across Keith’s cheeks. It was subtle, but Keith’s skin was so pallid that it was unmistakable. 

(Sendak still didn’t know why Keith flushed like that, but…)

”Thank you, Sir,” Keith said. 

”I know you have been frustrated at my approach to your training,” Sendak said, in a tone that allowed no argument from Keith. He knew it was true, even if Keith might want to deny it, even if Keith hadn’t voiced his opinion on the matter since the first session. “I hope that will change soon.”

”Sir?”

Sendak pulled a long, narrow box from behind his desk and set it on top of the desk. “Open it,” he said.

Keith looked at him, hesitated, before carefully lifting the lid off the box.

“Oh,” Keith breathed. “Sir-“

“It’s yours,” Sendak said, “once you earn your commission.”

”May I-?” Keith asked, clearly itching to touch. 

Sendak nodded, and Keith reverently lifted the sword out of the box.

It was, by necessity, noticeably smaller than the standard size of a Galra sword; Sendak had had it made specifically with Keith in mind.

It was also a handsome sword, not merely utilitarian, like a common soldier’s. This was a sword befitting an officer, with its ornate engraving on the blade and stylized hilt. 

Keith turned away slightly, and, carefully, swung the sword through the air, getting a feel for it. 

Pure joy bloomed across Keith’s face.

It was an eerily familiar expression, and Sendak had to turn away. “So the balance feels right?” He asked, after clearing his throat (but unfortunately not his thoughts).

Keith caught himself, and smoothed his expression back out. “Yes, Sir.” Reluctantly, he placed the sword back into the box. “Thank you.”

”Don’t thank me,” Sendak said. “This is not a gift. You’ll earn it before it’s yours.”

”Yes, Sir,” Keith said, barely containing his eagerness. “Anything.”

”You’ll start practicing against the other cadets tomorrow,” Sendak said. “For every bout you lose, you’ll be able to list three reasons why, and how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.”

”And if I don’t lose any?” Keith asked, before he could stop himself. Well, he was still a young man; self-control and discipline would come in time.

”We’ll deal with that on the day it happens,” Sendak said. “I also expect you to maintain your sim ratings.”

”Or improve them?”

”There’s not much room for improvement,” Sendak said. He did appreciate Keith’s intensity and drive to do better, but-

“I’m only ranked third,” Keith said. “So there’s two scores I have to beat.”

”You can try,” Sendak said, “but the record-holder is the best pilot I’ve ever met.”

”Maybe they could teach me,” Keith said. “I mean…you have connections, right? And being ranked first would help me get a commission.”

”I met him a long time ago,” Sendak said, too sharply. “And his ranking did nothing to improve his situation. Now, I expect to see you on the training deck first thing tomorrow.”

Keith knew a dismissal when he heard one. “Yes, Sir,” he said, lowering his eyes as he turned away. He paused before he left Sendak’s office. “Thank you again, Sir. I know you said it wasn’t a gift, but…no one’s ever given me anything before, so…thank you.”

He slipped out of the office before Sendak could muster up something to say, but what was there to say? 

Haxus was right; he shouldn’t have gotten involved. He shouldn’t have let it get this far, to the point where he cared about how Keith felt.

He should put a stop to it now, but he was a man of his word, and anyway, it was much too late for that. 

He could only hope now that he got through the next five years with his sanity and his heart intact. 

Chapter Text

Keith loved the new training regimen. It was far more exciting than doing countless hours of drills.

He got his ass handed to him constantly, but he didn’t even care. He was finally doing something, and he had the bruises to prove it. 

He didn’t see Sendak for weeks after Sendak showed him the sword that would one day be his, but he still did as Sendak asked, and reflected on every bout he lost (which right now was all of them, but not for long!), utterly determined to not make the same mistake twice.

It seemed to be working. The other cadets had more combat training than he did, thanks to Sendak singling him out, so the first few bouts had been…rough.

They were also resentful about the situation. After all, Keith got the extra attention from Sendak, the extra training, his own quarters… 

Keith had expected the beatings he received during the training bouts with the other cadets.

What he didn’t expect was for a handful of the oldest and biggest cadets to corner him on his way back to his quarters,

”Ah,” said the ringleader, “so there’s that mongrel whore.”

The others laughed; Keith pushed past them. 

Or tried to.

The ringleader grabbed his arm. “What? You got somewhere to be?”

”Let me go,” Keith hissed, trying to yank his arm back; the other cadet’s grip was too strong. 

”Maybe,” the ringleader said. “Maybe you should service us the way you service the Commander.”

”Fuck off,” Keith spat, trying again the wrench himself free once more. 

”Would rather fuck that foul little mouth,” one of the other cadets jeered.

The others laughed, and the ringleader stared down at Keith. “So, little half-breed, how about it? We’ll fuck your mouth, and then maybe we’ll let you go with just a light beating.”

Keith didn’t bother saying anything else; it was clear that this was not a negotiation of words.

The ringleader only held onto one arm; Keith swung with the other, striking the ringleader right in the eye.

The ringleader jerked back in pain, letting Keith go. Even so, Keith didn’t like his odds: six against one, all of them bigger and stronger than him.

Still, what else could he do but fight? They’d give him a beating either way; might as well make them work for it. 

It was just a blur after that. The pain from the blows Keith took barely registered. Blood pounded in his ears, behind his eyes, in his chest. 

It wasn’t until he was dragged away by the collar of his flightsuit that he realized it was over. He tried to turn, snarling, but Lieutenant Haxus’s firm command of ‘stop’ froze him. 

The other cadets were similarly held back by other officers, some of whom bore bleeding gashes earned in their attempt to break up the fight.

”Now,” Haxus said, “what is the meaning of this?”

”He attacked us,” the ringleader said. “No reason, he just lost it.”

”Hm,” Haxus said. “Cadet?”

”They wouldn’t let me go,” Keith said. He refused to say the rest of it; he already knew what Haxus thought of him. 

“We were trying to have a little fun,” one of the other cadets said. “Trying to be friendly to him.”

”That’s a fucking lie!” Keith said.

Haxus tugged on the back of Keith’s collar again. “Enough!” Under his breath, he muttered, “This is why I refuse to take the cadet rotation.” Louder: “I will let Commander Sendak deal with this. Follow.”

Haxus hauled Keith to Sendak’s office, which was only a few hallways away. The other cadets had no business being on this deck, which was probably why Keith had let his guard down; he hadn’t been expecting to be ambushed.

Haxus left everyone in the antechamber, under the supervision of the other officers, while he went into Sendak’s office, shutting the door firmly behind him.

The other cadets glared at Keith, but Keith didn’t care. He didn’t think Sendak would expel him from the program for this, not after he’d presented that sword to Keith. Besides, Keith had been in worse fights than this.

If Sendak expelled the other cadets…well. At least Keith wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore.

Haxus came out of Sendak’s antechamber after a few minutes. “You six,” he said, gesturing at the other cadets.

Keith took a good look at them for the first time since the fight had been broken up. Three of them were bleeding from the nose. There were seven black eyes between the six of them. All of them had scratches on their faces or arms or both. One of them limped slightly.

…Had Keith done all that?

The door shut behind the cadets, leaving Keith alone with the officers and Haxus.

”The most gifted cadets tend to be the most troublesome,” Haxus said, to no one in particular.

”Explains you,” one of the officers said. Haxus glared as the others laughed.

”Alright, enough,” Haxus said sharply. “Someone go inform Lieutenant Gnor that he’s losing six cadets. The rest of you stay here to escort them off the ship when the Commander’s done with them.” He turned to Keith, opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, shaking his head.

He left without further word.

The cadets came out of Sendak’s office after a short eternity, their eyes downcast, pale and drawn -Keith supposed he would have felt the same, in their shoes.

As the ringleader passed him, he muttered, “Don’t let your guard down, mutt.”

The remaining officers led them away, probably to go pack what few possessions they had before being taken off the ship in disgrace.

”Cadet,” Sendak called from his office.

Keith entered the office. “Sir?”

Sendak had a stack of files in front of him; he didn’t look up as Keith came to stand before his desk.           

He made Keith wait for a long time, before finally pushing the files to one side and looking up at Keith.

”What am I to do with you?”    

Chapter Text

”What am I to do with you?”

The words hung in the air for a long moment. Sendak could see the color drain from Keith’s face, which was probably a reasonable response. He had to know that the other six cadets had just been booted from the program, and he had no idea the depth of sentiment that Sendak had for him.

(Sendak hoped no one ever found that out.)

“Sir,” Keith began, distressed, “I can explain-“

”What is it about you that always seems to draw fights to you?” Sendak asked, and then: “No, don’t answer that.” He knew why; it was as obvious as the strange pale hue of Keith’s skin. 

He sighed. “If you weren’t so dedicated to proving yourself, I’d have-“

”I know, Sir,” Keith snapped, his face flushing red. An anger response? “You remind me at every opportunity. Everyone reminds me constantly. And I am. What else do you want from me?”

”Stop getting into fights, for one,” Sendak said. “You have the makings of a great officer, but your temper-“

”What am I supposed to do?” Keith shouted. “Let them take what they want from me? I know what the rumors say, but I’m not actually servicing you to get ahead. Gods, you won’t even fuck me, and I saved your life, and now you’re telling me I can’t defend myself?”

Ah, there was that temper.

”Cadet,” Sendak said sternly. 

“You said we’d discuss it when I recovered. Well, I’m recovered enough to handle myself against six other cadets! Maybe I should have let them fuck me. Seems like that’s the only thing everyone else thinks I’m good at-“

”They’re jealous,” Sendak said. “Let them be. But you can’t solve everything by fighting-“

”Yeah, you know what,” Keith hissed, “that’s the only way I know, and it’s not like you’ve taught me any different.”

Sendak knew that the orphanages weren’t pleasant places to grow up, but it had been such a long time since he’d been a scared, lonely child -lifetimes, surely -and he could not imagine that things had gotten better in the intervening years.

But he wasn’t here to coddle children.

He was here to forge soldiers to die for the Emperor, everything else be damned. 

“I ought to send you away for your insolence,” Sendak said. He wasn’t angry; at least not at Keith. If it was anyone else, then he probably would have been, but-

Haxus had been right, as usual.

”Then do it!” With that, Keith stormed out of the office.

Sendak stared after him for a long moment, then brought a hand up to massage his temples. He had never gotten so involved with the cadets, and this was proof enough of why he should never get so involved ever again. 

He ought to dismiss Keith entirely, just as he’d done with the other cadets. They shouldn’t have cornered Keith, and so perhaps they had deserved to have their asses handed to them, but this was not the first time Keith had been caught fighting, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Gods, Keith had already been in an altercation with a senior officer; what happened if Keith actually became a junior officer?

And when something inevitably happened, it would reflect poorly on Sendak. The whole of Central Command would question his leadership, his judgment in taking such a cadet into his training cohort.

Gods, he could lose his command over this, and that was one thing he couldn’t lose. That was all he had now, after all.

Who and what was he, if not Commander Sendak?

So he ought to dismiss Keith, discard his file, and promptly forget about him.

And yet.

Keith took a shower, hot to match his temper, sure that this was going to be his last few hours with such luxury available to him. Might as well take advantage before he was told to fuck off permanently. 

He had, quite literally, only the flightsuit on his back to his name, so he dressed in it after the shower, expecting to have officers come into his quarters to escort him off the ship at any moment. 

And yet, no one came.