Chapter Text
Regulus’ phone binged with a new message.
Christian Channings
Can’t wait to see you x
Regulus smiled at his screen, making his way past several chattering groups of students. The library was empty when he pushed the door open, excitedly walking towards the rows of computers. He looked around the circled area.
“Christian?” he said hesitantly.
His phone binged with another message.
Christian Channings
actually can we meet up at break instead?
“Oh.” Regulus sighed to no one.
To: Christian Channings
Okay 😊❤️
Regulus typed back.
The principal began to speak over the PA.
“Happy New Year, Truman boys.”
Regulus flipped his hand over to read his messily scrawled note.
New form room: B25!
The intercom continued. “Uh, don’t forget there’ll be new students from all school years in your new form groups. I hope you enjoy getting to know some fresh faces in registration each day.”
As Regulus entered the room he could hear numerous people chatting indistinctly. As far as he knew, none of his friends were in this class, so he paid them no mind.
“Oh! If it isn’t Regulus Black. Happy New Year,” Professor Sprout asked jollily.
She was a lively, plump, woman, with curly gray hair that touched her shoulders.
“Hi, Professor,” Regulus mumbled.
“Come to join Hufflepuff House?”
“Apparently so,” Regulus said drily, but not unkindly.
“Where did I put you on the seating plan?” There was a pause as she quickly scanned the piece of paper. “Ah, yes, you’re over there. Next to James Potter.”
Regulus froze, and turned to look at the boy. Of course, the sun was illuminating him from behind, making his gold-framed glasses glint and highlighting the muscles prominent in his crossed arms.
Professor Sprout continued. “He’s in Year 11, so only one year older than you. One of the rugby boys too, I think. I’m sure you’ll get along swimmingly.”
Professor Sprout looked up, noting the distance in Regulus’ eyes. “Or you can just sit in silence for the rest of the year. It really doesn’t affect me whatsoever.”
Regulus hurried away from the desk, eyes on the floor.
He glanced up at James. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
***
“Hey,” Regulus said, finally approaching Christian.
Christian turned to look at him with a sad expression. “Sorry about earlier.”
“It's fine,” Regulus said quickly, so quickly that their sentences were almost connected.
Christian stepped slightly closer. He smiled. “I missed your face so much.”
Regulus laughed. “Really? Did you have a good Christmas?”
“Yeah, it was alright. You?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it was good. Um…” Regulus faltered as Christian stepped closer. “My cousin Andromeda was around on Christmas day and then…”
Christian stepped even closer, trapping Regulus’ lips with his own. He gripped Regulus' sleeve with his hand, but kept their bodies firmly apart. Regulus never really thought much of it, just glad that someone like Christian was with him.
“You’re so cute,” Christian said when they parted.
Christian chuckled, as did Regulus, albeit awkwardly. The school bell interrupted them, and Christian instantly stepped back. There was now at least a meter between them, and Christian was wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
“See you later then, yeah?”
Regulus nodded awkwardly.
“Still don’t tell anyone about this,” Christian reminded Regulus.
“Oh. Um…”
“Bye.” And Christian was gone.
***
Regulus and James had this thing.
Regulus passed James in between classes sometimes. ‘Hi,’ he would say. And James always said ‘hi’ back. This had happened six times already.
Regulus realised he was passing James again.
“Hi,” James said.
“Hi,” Regulus said, a laugh at the tip of his tongue.
“Are you going that way?” James asked.
“Yeah. Maths,” Regulus said, gesturing with his books.
“Same,” James responded. Regulus watched as he scribbled down an answer.
“Are you seriously doing your homework while walking to your lesson?”
James looked at Regulus guiltily. “I…might be.”
“That's very chaotic,” Regulus chose to say.
James grinned, more so smirked, at Regulus. “That's me.”
Regulus hummed in acknowledgement. “Do you want me to do that for you?”
“No, I’m good,” James said. “Remus can always tell. Trust me, you do not want to hear him yell at me.”
“I can tell you the answer instead,” Regulus offered.
“Then I won’t learn.”
“That does not sound like you.”
“It's Remus talking…” James muttered.
“If you’re stuck I can just…” Regulus stuttered as he began fighting James for the pen, causing a few eyes to wander over to them. “Let me just…”
“Get off…!” James called playfully.
There was a pause in the fight as James’ pen made contact with Regulus’ skin. Regulus made a big deal out of making a very offended face.
“How dare you,” Regulus said.
“Look…” James grabbed Regulus’ hand, placing two lines above the curve. It now formed a misshapen smiley face.
“Better?” James asked.
“Much, much worse,” Regulus deadpanned.
Regulus then startled, noticing Christian in the hallway. He felt a bit like he’d been caught doing something wrong.
“Hey,” he said to Christian.
“What?” he asked, sounding both angry and confused.
“Oh…uh…Just…’hi,’” Regulus said, brows furrowing slightly.
Christian chuckled. “Why are you talking to me? I don’t know who you are.”
“Right,” Regulus said sharply, glaring at the floor.
James eyebrows furrowed but he didn’t say anything.
“All right, mate?” Christian said to James.
James blinked several times. “Yeah, all right.”
Christian continued on his way, and Regulus turned to James.
“You’re friends with Christian?”
“Well, I mean. He’s in my year. Comes to the parties sometimes,"James answered.
“Oh.” Somehow that hurt more. That really, Christian didn’t even know James, but still acted friendlier towards him.
***
“I did it again. I bought Pandora’s drink. Again,” Barty said, pushing his hair back with one hand.
“Didn’t you do that yesterday?” Evan asked.
“Yes, Evan. Yes, I did,” Barty groaned.
“And on Monday,” Regulus chimed in helpfully.
“She’s my twin. Pandora’s not here,” Evan said.
He even sat down his phone, which meant business.
“I know.”
“She’s not been here all week,” Evan chided.
“I know. I keep forgetting.”
“Barty, you’re allowed to miss her,” Regulus said. “We all do.”
“Okay, fine. I know it’s better that she’s at an all-girls school,” Barty starts.
Evan nods. “Mr. Reed was still refusing to call her Elle.”
“Yeah. Mr. Reed’s a massive transphobe,” Regulus says.
“And yet you’re his favourite student,” Evan says with a grin.
Barty continues. “It’s still weird though. There used to be four of us, and now there’s only three.”
“Are we just going to forget about Dorcas?” Regulus asked.
“She’s always been at the Girls school,” Evan says helpfully.
“Like, four is a group—”
“Dorcas is going to kill you,” Regulus says, but soon becomes too distracted to defend her.
“---three is just a trio.”
“Isn’t that James Potter?” Barty asks suddenly.
“The guy he sits next to in form?” Evan asks.
Barty’s neck twists around fast enough to cause whiplash. “You sit next to him?” Barty then stared at James with a hint of disgust. “He looks like a golden retriever.”
Regulus scoffed. “He does not look like a golden retriever!” He then had to eat his words as James began chasing after the ball had been thrown too far. Barty turns to look at him smugly. “Okay, fine, he looks like a golden retriever.”
“I can’t believe you sat next to rugby king Nick Nelson.” Evan laughed.
"What are you going to talk about?” Barty asked.
“We talked,” Regulus said, crossing both his arms and his legs.
“About what?” Evan asked, one eyebrow raised.
“Regulus, you don’t have a tissue, do you?”
Regulus looked up to see James covered in blue ink.
“My pen just, uh, exploded.”
“I can see that. I don’t think a napkin will suffice though.”
One hall pass later, James was furiously scrubbing his hands while Regulus laughed.
“It's not coming off!” James laughed.
“You’re going to be blue forever!” Regulus called, and laughed at the absurdity of it.
“It looks like I’m wearing blue gloves!”
“You can make it the new school fashion. I’m sure everyone will have it it if the James Potter does,” Regulus said.
“Or I’ll just pretend it’s a tattoo.”
“Well, be careful,” Barty said, while glaring at James.
“What? Why?” Regulus asked. James was the sweetest.
“What do you mean why? Look at them. Look at us. We are a group, no a trio, of the coolest people ever. He is the star player of the rugby team, and he’s friends with a bunch of loud, gross Year 11s. They want to steal our awesomeness.”
“First of all, my brother’s in Year 11,” Regulus said.
“My point still stands.”
“Dorcas is a Year 11, and on the girls’ rugby team,” Regulus adds.
“Still not a boy,” Barty says, clicking his tongue.
“Remus Lupin, is a Year—”
“Fine, not all of the Year 11s. But at least a fourth of that team is just like the guys that bullied you last year.”
“Sure…but James…” Regulus argues. “He’s different. He’s nice.”
“I bet he’s a whole different person when he’s with his bro dude friends,” Barty warned.
Evan was not paying attention to the exchange, instead texting his twin.
To: Panda
hey i have news from hoggs
Panda
Spill the tea
To: Panda
charlie’s obsessed with some rugby lad in his form
Panda
Oh NO
To: Panda:
why is he like this?
anyway hows higgs, young one?
Panda
I’m older.
Pandora looked up, realising a woman had just cleared her throat.
“Is that a phone Pandora?”
Pandora turned to glare at Dorcas, but of course, she was busy staring at Marlene. This meant she forgot to signal that Mrs. Pomfrey was coming.
“Well?”
“Um…yeah.” Pandora relented, realising Dorcas wouldn’t be coming to her rescue.
“We don’t make exceptions for new students. You can have this back from reception at the end of the day,” Mrs. Pomfrey said.
Pandora glared at Dorcas for the rest of lunch, but it wasn’t as if she noticed.
***
Christian Channings
meet me in the library??
Regulus had met up with Christian again, yet another round of nothing but kissing. Regulus couldn’t help but notice the blue inked smiley face, slightly faded, but still there. And drawn by James Potter.
***
“It’s been quite a while since you’ve hidden in here at lunch.”
“I’m not hiding,” Regulus objected.
“Then what are you doing?”
“Eating lunch,” Regulus snarked.
“Right,” Sirius said. “So everythings okay? No bullies?”
“No. Everything’s fine,” Regulus said. Sirius nodded, adding a stroke to his painting. “Actually there is someone.”
“A bully?”
“I’ve…I’ve got a boyfriend.”
“Oh,” Sirius’ eyebrows raised. “Do tell.”
Regulus cringed. “The thing is…I don’t think he even thinks we’re boyfriends.”
Sirius instantly looked furious, but held it in.
“He ignores me sometimes. He doesn’t even like people seeing us talk to each other in the corridors. He pretends like he doesn’t know who I am. But then when it’s just us two, we’re fine.” Regulus finished with a sigh. Then he looked up to see his brother's face.
He looked murderous. “Right. Well. Lets see…what would Euphemia Potter say…I honestly think she’d be on my side…how about…have you tried talking to him?”
“No,” Regulus admitted.
“Maybe do that then. And if that little—”
“Sirius.”
“Right. Sorry, Reggie.”
“Regulus.”
***
Regulus decided to follow the wisdom of imaginary Euphemia Potter. She was almost always right, after all. The real life version, at least.
Regulus began searching the courtyard for Christian, ready to talk it out. Like adults. Like—Regulus froze. There Christian was, kissing some girl. A nameless, faceless girl, who had unknowingly ended a relationship.
***
At home Regulus typed out dozens of text messages.
Do you have a girlfriend?
I HATE YOU!!!
He finally settled on one.
To: Christian Channings
I don’t want to meet up anymore.
Christian Channings
?????????????
Regulus didn’t respond, instead tossing his phone somewhere near the bottom of his bed. He couldn’t deal with it.
***
The next morning, Regulus was eating his cereal, feeling quite sorry for himself, when he spotted Sirius.
“Morning,” he called out.
Sirius jumped. “Jesus, Reg.” Then he frowned. “Why’s your face like that? More bitchy than usual?”
“Broke up with my boyfriend.”
“Oh. Him. He was a knob. Well done, Reggie,” Sirius declared, then pulled Regulus into a reluctant hug.
"Regulus."
***
“Hypothetically, what sort of boy do you want to go out with?”
“One who doesn’t mind people seeing us talk to each other would be nice,” Regulus said, staring out the window.
“Thats the bare fucking minimum, but alright. Someone who’s also a nerd or do you want the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing?”
“I don’t think I can afford to be that specific, to be honest,” Regulus said.
“Hypothetically though. Dream guy,” Sirius pushed.
“I don’t know, just…Just someone I can have a laugh with. And…who’s nice. And kind. Someone who likes me for the sarcastic little shit I am. Someone who likes being with me.” Regulus turned to Sirius. “I’d probably just settle for someone tall.”
“You better not steal Remus!” Sirius called, as he chased Regulus down the steps.
“He’s already mine!” Regulus yelled, accidentally bumping into someone's chest. “Sorry, I have to go find my new husband.”
He did not get to see the bemused expression on James’ face when Regulus said those words, or hear the random thought of ‘I’ll be your new husband.’
***
“Come on, Year 10! We’ve been doing this all year and no one’s beaten Regulus' time yet.”
Regulus largely ignored Coach Hooch, unaware that he’d also caught the eye of a certain star rugby player, who found himself staring at one black-haired boy.
“Come on! Yes! Keep it moving!” Coach Hooch called.
***
“Hey,” James Potter said.
There was a loud bang as Regulus stepped back from his locker, causing several of his books to fall from his criminally small storage unit.
James Potter immediately dropped to his knees and began gathering books as fast as he could.
“Thanks,” Regulus said, pushing a lock of hair behind his ear.
James nodded in acknowledgement, but continued to gather books. Regulus took this time to notice that James wore a singular ring, a thick gold one on his thumb.
“Yeah,” Regulus said breathlessly.
“So, um, I had something I wanted to ask you,” James started, “Regulus…I wanted to tell you that I’m gay too. And I’m in love with you. Do you want to go out with me? I want to be with you forever.”
“Do you want to join the rugby team?” James asked.
Regulus blinked. “What?”
“We have enough players for the team, but we’re not allowed to actually play without a reserve.” James could see he was losing Regulus’ interest. “And I saw you run, like, really fast in PE. So…I thought you might be interested.
“I don’t really know how to play,” Regulus tried.
“That's fine. I can teach you,” James said confidently.
“Aren’t I a bit small and weak to be a rugby player?”
“Oh. Well, we’re just a school team, you know. It’s not that serious.” James tried to reassure.
“So you’re saying I am small and weak?”
“Wait, no. No. I just meant—” He instantly stopped himself when he saw Regulus was laughing. He laughed as well, albeit awkwardly.
“So, do you want to join?”
***
“Please, Regulus. Please tell me this is just another crush," Barty begs.
“It’s not a crush! I don’t just fall for any guy who’s nice to me,” Regulu argued.
“Yeah, you fall for the ones horrible to you as well,” Evan chimed in.
“And you’re sure you want to spend a whole hour with giant, moronic, rugby lads?” Barty asks, ignoring Evan.
“Yes,” Regulus said.
He heard Evan sigh, but didn’t commnet.
“Your funeral,” Barty said.
“Barty, you were literally on Slytherin’s team not even three years ago,” Regulus reminded.
“But the boys at Slytherin weren’t moronic,” Barty said. "See? Look at Evan."
***
It wasn’t until he was standing right outside of the locker rooms that it hit him. That he was going to be training with those boys. He could already hear them talking about him.
“Regulus Black though?”
“Isn’t he in Year 8?”
“No. Year 10.”
“He’s, like, well…skinny though.”
“Can he even play?”
“I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but we actually want to make dece.”
“Does he even like sports?”
“Everyone knows he’s gay.”
There was an eruption of laughter, before Regulus pushed the locker room door open. He avoided the eyes of the unnamed rugby boys, instead making a beeline for James.
“Hi,” James said.
“Hi.”
***
“I know I was joking about being weak, but I’m definitely too weak for this,” Regulus said, side-eyeing the other boys playing. James had taken him aside, to what Regulus thought was one of the goals. Or…score...zones?
“Where’s your can do attitude?” James asked joyfully.
Because of course he was happy to be sweating, standing in the sun, and dying of thirst.
“She left. Long ago,” Regulus said.
“Just try. Tackle me, I won’t dodge,” James assured.
He looked a bit like the standing man emoji.
Regulus rolled his eyes, but charged at James, feeling ridiculous, as they both went falling down. The lucky thing about tackling was that you had a body to cushion your fall.
“Ow. That was perfect,” James said, doing his best to give a round of applause.
“Was it?" Regulus asked doubtfully.
“Yeah. Now, let’s try again while I’m actually moving,” James said, standing up.
He dusted off his shirt (jersey?) while Regulus continued to lay in the grass.
“Come on,” James said, hoisting Regulus up.
“I’m going to die.”
***
“Go over the top!” someone shouted, and Regulus turned to look at who had the ball.
“James! James!” someone else yelled.
***
The rugby boys had this strange thing, where they'd all gather into a tight circle.
“One, two, three, squeeze!” they shouted in unison, and then they all clumsily drew tighter.
Regulus didn’t participate. He instead watched from afar.
“One, two, three, squeeze!”
***
“Are you taking the piss?” Sirius asked Regulus.
“Nope. I’ve even got the uniform,” Regulus said.
“Dear God. What have you become?" Sirius drew Regulus into a hug abd whispered: "I'm proud of you Reggie.”
“Regulus.”
***
“Come on, mate. We’ve got practice,” one of the rugby boys told Regulus, as he was walking with Barty and Evan.
“Don’t die,” Barty said.
***
Christian Channings
ur at rugby right?
meet me in the music block after
To: Christian Channings
Why?
Christian Channings
please regulus i just want to talk
To: Christian Channings
Fine.
***
Regulus was now standing in the doorway of a classroom, staring at Christian.
“You’re wearing a coat? It’s not even cold.”
“It’s February,” Regulus said sharply.
“Lame.”
“What do you want, Christian?”
Christian took several steps forward, reaching out to touch Regulus’ arm.
“Don’t touch me!”
“God, what’s your problem? I’m trying to be nice,” Christian said, leaning back against the wall.
He rolled his eyes and scoffed, as if Regulus was the one to blame.
“I said I don’t want to meet up anymore,” Regulus said.
“Yeah, and I don’t believe you.”
“What?” Regulus scoffed.
“You’re clearly just scared of being caught,” Christian accused.
“Why would I be scared of being caught? Everyone in this school already knows I’m gay. You’re the one who’s scared of getting caught. You can’t even look at me when other people are around. Not to mention the fact that you have a girlfriend…yeah, thanks for telling me. Oh, wait, you didn’t!” Regulus fake giggled.
“Don’t be angry at me for not wanting to come out yet,” Christian lashed out.
Regulus snapped. “I’m not angry about that! If you’re figuring stuff out, fine. Take your time. I would have been there for you. Don’t you think I would understand you’re figuring out your sexuality?”
“Then why are you angry with me?”
“I’m angry because you never even slightly cared about my feelings! We only meet up when you want to. Where you want to. When you feel like kissing a boy! You don’t care about me at all!”
“It’s not like anyone else is going to want to go out with you, is it?”
Christian started stepping closer.
“Christian, stop.”
He took another step.
“Stop!”
Suddenly, a tall frame was shoving Christian away from him. “He told you to stop.”
James Potter. Standing in front of Regulus, and watching Christian’s every move.
“Go on. Piss off,” James said to Christian.
He went scurrying for the hallway, like a scalded dog.
“You okay?” James asked Regulus.
The anger seeped from his bones, and the usual glint of kindness reappeared in his brown eyes.
“Did you hear all that?” Regulus asked with a wince.
“Most of it.”
“Don’t tell my brother...he already wants to kill him. How’d you know?”
“You just seemed like something was up while we were getting changed, so I…I wanted to check everything was okay,” James said.
“I’m sorry.”
James eyebrow furrowed. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“Sorry.”
“You say sorry a lot,” James noticed.
“So—”
“Don’t say it.”
“Apologies.” Regulus smirked.
“No! I’ve been thwarted!” James called dramatically, swaying on his feet. “We should probably get out. We’ll be locked if we stay much longer.”
Regulus nodded, and hurried to pull open the door for James.
They walked out to the bus stop in silence that was somehow awkward and comfortable all at once.
“I’m going this way, so…” James said, gesturing to where Regulus knew the Potter house was.
“Yeah, I’m that way.”
“Okay. Bye,” James said.
“Bye.”
***
“Good practice, Jamie?”
***
Regulus found himself once again struggling to send a text.
Thank you for being...
I really...
***
“James?”
“What? Oh. Yeah, it was normal.”
“Okay darling,” Euphemia Potter said.
But to her, her son looked lovesick.
***
James' phone binged with a new message, flashing across his Spiderman lockscreen.
Regulus Black
Thank you x
James' eyes zeroed in on the ‘x,’ and he smiled.