Archive of Our Own ^beta

Scara doesn't know exactly when it started and he's not sure if he's even ready to acknowledge it, but he's in love with his own best friend. The one that he knew since he was 5 years old. Scara never knew what the world was like before Kazuha and he doesn't intend to find out.

Kazuha is everything to him.

"Can I get this for Kazuha?"

"Can Kazuha come along?"

"Kazuha said—"

"I promised Kazuha that—"

Are the kind of words that Scara's moms are used to hearing. Kazuha is the person that Scara looks to for laughs and for comfort. There's not a single thing that Scara keeps from Kazuha.

He's the first person that Scara comes out to as trans and he's the one who bought Scara his first binders as a gift with his own money that he had been saving up.

"I hope you like it...let me know if it's not comfortable or anything. I'm pretty sure about your size but I heard it can still feel uncomfortable if the fit is not right..." Kazuha said shyly.

"Thank you ..thank you..." Scara said before putting it on. He couldn't help his tears after he put the binders and t-shirt on. Kazuha ruffled his hair and gave him a long tight hug.

Kazuha is his truest friend.

Scara doesn't know that Kazuha also started to harbor romantic feelings towards him. Kazuha has had this crush on Scara for a very long time. It started way back when they first met. It was love at first sight.

Scara dropped the bow in his hair after he got off the swing and Kazuha chased him down to give it back.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome...let me help you put it in your hair."

"Okay"

Scara turns around and Kazuha pins the purple bow in his hair, slightly crooked but cute nonetheless.

"Done! I'm Kazuha. What's your name?"

"Kuni" Scara said, it was his name.

They played together after that only to find out they live a few blocks down the road from each other. That was their beginning.

Kazuha only properly realizes it's a crush when he feels a tinge of pain in his chest after Scara told him that he got a boyfriend back when they were in highschool.

That boyfriend didn't last long at all but it was what made Kazuha realize his feelings. He never felt any sort of attraction for anyone else... No one shines as bright in his eyes as Scara is... He's the first person that Kazuha wants to talk to whenever something happens. Talking with Scara feels easy, like breathing. Existing with Scara feels right, like it's meant to be.

But neither of them ever confess these feelings. They never even talk about it casually in the first place. The fear of the unfamiliarity and uncertainties and the fear of losing one another if it turns out they don't feel the same towards each other is too big of a hurdle for them to get past.

'I rather have you than don't at all'

They see each other almost every day but they never run out of topics to talk about. Kazuha stayed in town to help run his family business and Scara picked a local university to go to because he couldn't bear to be separated from Kazuha.

Kazuha always accompanies and drives Scara to get his testosterone shot. It's not that his family is not supportive, his moms are but they're just too busy. Ever since his first appointment Kazuha is the one that had always been there with him.

And they always get sushi takeout after the appointment and eat it in the car at the parking lot. It's their little ritual.

"You know, ever since I started taking T, my dick has been growing. I have a dick now." Scara says with a smile. He couldn't say the changes had all been easy on his body but he is enjoying every moment of it. Just last week, Kazuha taught him how to shave his face while his moms watched from the bathroom door because neither had any idea how to shave faces.

"Oh yeah?" Kazuha replies with a playful tone. "Wanna compare dick sizes?" Kazuha continues. It comes out as a joke, it is in a way, a joke but there's a tiny bit of him that sinks inside his chest. 'what the fuck are you saying?!'

Thankfully Scara laughs.

"Pervert!" He says as he pushes Kazuha's shoulder, making him laugh as well. He laughs but he couldn't deny that he noticed a glint in Kazuha's eyes. He dismisses it.

Kazuha drives him back home after their meal as he needs to get back to work and he doesn't have any more class for the day.

"Stay over at my house tomorrow...moms not gonna be home."

"Grown ass man scared of being home alone."

"No I'm not shut up or I won't cook dinner for you."

"Okay okay. I'll come over after work. See you tomorrow Scara"

"See you."

Just as usual. Their mundane routine, nothing different... Nothing new... Except for that little remark that sticks in Scara's mind.

"Wanna compare dick sizes?"

Kazuha is joking. Surely he is joking. He said it in his joking tone as well. But maybe...maybe it's the hormones and maybe it's his feelings bubbling up to the surface, Scara finds himself feeling hot at the thought of comparing the size of his tdick with Kazuha.

He gets inside his room, locks the door and takes off all of his clothes and lay in his bed, his hand slipping down towards his sex and he moans softly when he finds how hard his tdick is and how much wetness he's leaking already

"Fuck..." Scara softly curses as he scissors his tdick in between his index and middle fingers. The pressure between his two boney fingers feels good. Scara trails his hand lower to entertain his leaking hole, collecting the wetness on the tip of his fingers and rubs it on the tip of his dick, pulling at the skin and exposing the head. The tingling feeling runs and spreads all over his body like he's being struck by lightning while he's soaked in the rain.

It feels good... Too good... He imagined the size of his tdick against Kazuha's, the way his tips would kiss Kazuha's... how it would feel like to rub it against Kazuha's...

Kazuha

Kazuha

Kazuha

His name repeats in Scara's mind like a prayer as he keeps touching himself until he reaches his peak and his name escapes Scara's lips.

"Kazuha..."

•

"Scara..."

Kazuha groans, sweat dripping down the side of his face despite the AC blasting as his hand strokes his dick faster and faster until he spills all over it. He parked his car somewhere secluded and he's pretty sure no one would be watching but he looked around anyway after he came before quickly cleaning himself with wet tissues.

"Fuck ..this is bad..." Kazuha thinks. What has he done? He just jerked off to his own best friend. In the car, right after dropping that said best friend off.

He couldn't help it. On the drive back to work he couldn't stop thinking about what he said. He was joking of course but he couldn't deny that there's truth in it. He couldn't deny that he thinks about Scara that way too. He couldn't deny that he wants him, in ways that are more than how a friend should want a friend.

He knows that Scara probably doesn't think of him that way and he feels guilty about doing this and thinking of him in this way. He probably needed answers more than he cared to admit or ask for. Not because he's afraid of the answer not being what he wanted, but because he's afraid of losing Scara entirely.

He could live with Scara not feeling the same way, not wanting him how he wanted him but he definitely couldn't live without Scara in his life, as his friend.

•

"I bring snacks!" Kazuha says as he walks in the door. It's unlocked as Scara knows Kazuha is coming.

"In the kitchen!!" Scara answers. He's in his mom's apron cooking up dinner for the both of them.

They enjoy dinner before they head up to Scara's room, taking turns to shower before Scara starts to bother Kazuha to fix his half-functioning projector.

"You really should just get a new one..."

"Yeah but I couldn't be bothered..."

Kazuha rolls his eyes and smiles as he keeps working on the projector. He knows the issue by now. It works and he lays back in Scara's bed as Scara finds the remote.

"Video essays or netflix?"

"In the mood for something juicy."

"Video essays then. I have a few that I looked up yesterday that I think you might like."

"Ooohhh I wanna see." Kazuha sits up and argues for a moment with Scara over which one to watch. They eventually agree to start with something about the curse of creativity.

This is normal between them. This is something they had always done. If there's anything different that neither had yet to realize is the fact that they can't look each other in the eye for once. Streams of words from the video essay run through their mind but neither is thinking about the video. Usually in between the video they'd make remarks but for once...

They're both quiet. Listening, of course to the video but also thinking about what they had done just yesterday to the dirty thoughts about each other.

The first video ended and Kazuha was the one who spoke first.

"Do you ever feel like that? Cursed somehow?"

"By creativity? Well... Not really. I'm not a genius in creative things... But cursed in general... Maybe."

"You mean?" Kazuha asks and Scara smiles and rolls his eyes.

"Like being your friend for example. I like cuddling near you but your body is a million degrees hot." Scara teases and elbows Kazuha away from him to tease him.

"ACK? Me, who's a million degrees hot? I'm taking that as a compliment because you say that but later tonight, I can't even go to the bathroom because you cling to me!"

"Noo I don't cling!"

"Yes you do....you cling and you don't let go!"

Scara takes one of his pillows and smacks Kazuha with it.

"I'm hugging this pillow tonight. Not you!"

Kazuha takes another pillow and smacks Scara back.

"My curse is hearing you say that, knowing you'd still cling to me tonight." Kazuha said in a deadpan voice that made Scara laugh and hit him again with the pillow. A wave of laughter, shaking the nagging little awkwardness between them away, play fighting like they always do.

Scara laughs as he uses all of his strength to push Kazuha down as he sits on top of Kazuha to overpower him.

"HA! I WIN!"

"Win or lose you'll still cling to this million degree hottie right here later tonight."

"Hottie my ass. Bi but can't even catch a man or woman to date you!" Scara teases again and laughs when Kazuha hits him again with the pillow in retaliation.

"HEYY I can date whoever I want...I just don't want to."

"Uh huh sure... Why don't you want to date?" Scara question. He is quite curious about this.

"Well.... I couldn't care to really date anyone."

There it is again...that answer. Scara had always thought there's something more to it but he never pressed Kazuha for the real answer. He thinks that Kazuha would tell him if he wanted to...

But this feeling he's having towards Kazuha...it's nagging at the back of his mind...pounding in his consciousness... He doesn't usually push... But for once he's going to.

"I don't believe that."

"Why not?"

"I just don't..." Scara says as he sits straight on Kazuha's lap. Kazuha gets up a little, supporting his upper body on his elbow.

"Really? You're gonna say you just don't have a reason why?"

"Well saying anything more would be presumptuous."

"Say it anyway. It's me you're talking with."

"Would you care if it's with me?" Scara says. The words pour out of him too fast for it to be something he thought of at the moment. Kazuha seems surprised. His eyes widened at the question.

"F-forg—"

"I'd date if it were with you..." Kazuha says softly, almost too softly.

Silence... There's a silence in between them

"Why don't you then..?" Scara asks again.. leaning closer towards Kazuha...looking into his eyes, not caring if Kazuha could now see his desires that are burning in them.

"We're..." Kazuha starts... Not moving away from Scara leaning into him..his eyes wander from Scara's eyes to his lips..

"Friends..?" Scara is so close to Kazuha now...the tips of their noses touching.

"Friends..." Kazuha breathes, a little hitched as an attempt at crumbling self control before he sighs and leans forward fast, crashing his lips against Scara.

Their kisses are desperate, passionate and heated. It was as if they've been wanting this for so long now and they finally get it...as if they were travelers on a barren sandy land and they're each other's oasis. Scara never thought kissing could feel so good, Kazuha never thought Scara could feel this right in his arms kissing him.

Kazuha sits up, holding Scara close to him as Scara clings to him despite complaining about how hot his body feels just moments ago. Nothing else matters in that moment but the way they feel against each other, years of pining and emotions pours out in the way their tongues glides against one another, the way their lips slots perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle. Kissing each other feels like coming home to them.

Scara grinds his hips against Kazuha and Kazuha groans in his kiss. Fuck... He didn't realize he had gotten hard. Scara smiles in their kiss and finally pulls away.

"Kazuha..."

"I have two questions..."

"Yes."

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"... Yes...yes" Kazuha answers eagerly and kisses Scara again deeply. "I want to be your boyfriend... I want you..."

"I want you too... I want to be your boyfriend..." Scara says almost shyly even though he was the one who just asked Kazuha to be his boyfriend.

"You're my boyfriend..." Kazuha says with a smile and kisses him again. "What's the second question?"

Scara bites his lips as he contemplates and wraps his arms around Kazuha's neck as he moves closer towards Kazuha's hip until he sits directly on Kazuha's dick. Kazuha tries to not moan then and there.

"Do you still want to compare dick sizes?" Scara asks, looking into Kazuha's eyes for answers.

Kazuha must admit. He's speechless. He stares into Scara's eyes for a moment as he lets his brain process what he just heard.

Scara blushes and looks away after a moment, thinking that he's in over his head, that he's moving too fast. Kazuha tightens his grips on Scara's waist, urging Scara to look back into his eyes.

"Yes.." Kazuha finally answers. Scara feels his chest blooming with joy at the answer.

"You strip first..." He says as he gets up  to give Kazuha space to pull off his sweatpants.

Scara swears... If possible, his jaw would be on the floor as he lays his eyes on the thing that is Kazuha's dick. He's neatly trimmed and veiny. Average length but he's... Definitely a stretcher. Scara gulps at the sight of it as he couldn't deny the throbbing he feels on his cunt at the sight of Kazuha's dick.

"You're...pretty big..." Scara says, unable to take his eyes off it. Kazuha smiles shyly before rolling his eyes.

"Shut up...your turn...show me your dick ..I want to see it."

Something in the way of Kazuha saying he wants to see Scara turns him on so much... Scara pulls down his shorts and panties. His oversized t-shirt still covers himself as he climbs back on the bed and straddles Kazuha. Scara looks into Kazuha's eyes before he slowly lifts the hem of his t-shirt, exposing himself to Kazuha. Kazuha let out a shaky needy breath that made Scara feel tingly down his spine.

"What do you think?" Scara asks

"Fuck....fuck Scara...you're so perfect..fuck... I love your dick...."

Scara giggles a bit at the way that Kazuha is looking at him like a starving man presented with food.

"W-wanna try touching it?"

"Yes!" Kazuha answers enthusiastically and Scara gestures for him to go on. Scara can see that his hand is a bit shaky as he reaches to touch Scara's tdick.

Kazuha holds Scara's tdick in between his thumb and index finger, moving his fingers and rubbing it gently up and down.

"Fuck! Fuck... K-Kazuha...g-gentler please...I'm really sensitive..."

"Sorry Scara...is this better?" Kazuha tries a gentler touch and Scara whines, bucking his hips a little to Kazuha's hand.

"Yes...just like that.. like that..feels good.." Scara moans... He's losing it already. How is being touched by his best friend...now boyfriend too... feels better than anything ever.

Kazuha continues to gently tease Scara's tdick, staring at it so intensely and feeling amused at how he's certain that it's growing bigger in his hand...

"It is getting so big...fuck...you're so divine Scara..." Kazuha says as he swipes his hand to Scara's entrance, collecting the wetness that's leaking out of him and rubbing on his tdick, pulling down Scara's foreskin to rub on the engorged head.

Scara feels like crying over how good this feels. The feeling is taking him over, his body and his mind, echoing inside him. His pussy throbs so much that he feels a little pathetic over how needy he is right now.

"I want to suck on it..." Kazuha asks, his eyes still fixed on Scara's dick with the tip of his thumb pressing and rubbing on Scara's tdick and the rest of his fingers brushing in between his folds, adding to the overwhelming sensation.

"K-kazuhaaa Ahh...fuck..don't ...say shit like that if you're not gonna...hmfm"

"I'm serious...can I give you a blowjob Scara?"

"Fuck....fuck yes please" Scara begs and Kazuha kisses him deeply before lifting him up a bit and turning them around to lay Scara down against the pillow.

"I'm going to blow your dick."

"Please...yes.."

Kazuha kisses him again before trailing his lips down his chest to his tummy before he reaches Scara's tdick. Kazuha looks up to Scara before he teases Scara by blowing air to it. Scara feels like crying. He's so sensitive and Kazuha is teasing him like this. His hand holds Kazuha's head and he gently tug at his hair.

"Kazuhaaa"  Scara whines and Kazuha smirks before he sticks his tongue out and traces the tips of it on the slit of his tdick, teasing the skin to open up more so he could reach the head.

"Fuck fuck fuck...Kazuha..."

Kazuha holds Scara's tdick with his index and thumb again doing the motion as if he's giving him a hand job, pulling the foreskin skin down to expose the head. Scara is positively losing his mind, bucking his hips towards Kazuha and Kazuha gently kisses the exposed head a few time before he latch his lips around it, causing Scara to clutch to Kazuha's hair tighter. It hurts but Kazuha likes it.

Kazuha puckers his lips around Scara's tdick sucking on it, eyes closed as he gets lost in the sensation and the sound of Scara whining and moaning needily. Kazuha trails his fingers to Scara's entrance and he feels his own dick twitch at how wet Scara is.

"Can I finger you?" Kazuhs stops sucking for a second to ask and Scara nods enthusiastically, unable to answer properly as needy moans keep on escaping his lips.

Kazuha continues to suck on Scara's tdick, teasing the head around the foreskin as he slowly inserts a finger inside Scara's entrance. He's so wet it goes in so easily. Kazuha bobs his head as he keeps sucking on Scara's tdick, synchronizing the movement with the speed of his thrust before he adds on the second finger.

Wet squelching sounds and Scara's loud moans echo throughout the room, Kazuha's name being about the only coherent thing that comes out of Scara's mouth that Kazuha could make out.

Scara's hand even loses it strengths on Kazuha's hair as he gets closer and closer towards his climax, his tdick throbbing inside Kazuha's mouth and his cunt clenching around Kazuha's fingers tight before he cums hard, getting his wetness all over Kazuha's chin and hand. Kazuha releases his tdick with a small pop before he lays his lips all over Scara's pussy. Kissing it gently and licking all over the wetness that still leaks from it..

"T-that feels too good ..too ....AHH..hmhmh.. too hmhmh..."

"You taste so good Scara....so good..."

"Kazuha..." Scara pulls him up by his face and kisses him deeply, tasting himself inside Kazuha's mouth. He clings to Kazuha and gasps as he feels how hard Kazuha is against his sex.

"You're..so hard...so hard..."

"Can I..try something?"

"Yes." Scara answers without hesitation.

Kazuha sits up in front of Scara and spreads Scara's legs, placing each leg around besides his hips. This way his dick would be so close to Scara's center, resting directly on top of it, heavy and throbbing.

Kazuha holds his dick and presses it in between Scara's slit, making his tips rub against Scara's tdick.

"Fuck!" Scara curses. He's still so sensitive from the way Kazuha sucks him just now.

"I want to frot my dick with yours..is that okay?"

"Yes yes fuck yes please..."

Kazuha presses his thumb on his dick, placing a gentle pressure on it as he grinds his dick on Scara's tdick, rubbing it against one another. Kazuha uses his fingers to hold both his dick and Scara's together and rubs it together. The feeling is intense and the sight of it is obscene with their dicks kissing one other, coated with the slick evidence of their arousal.

"Fuck fuck ..aahhh Scara...scaraaa you feel so good fuck aaghh" Kazuha whines as he couldn't help but move his hips, slotting his cock in between Scara's slit, letting it envelops his length as he keeps rubbing the tips of his cock to Scara's tdick.

"K-kazuhaaa hngng.fuck can..c-can you put it in..please..please..."

"Fuck ..yes .yes.."

He's really about to do this... Kazuha thought. He's really about to fuck his childhood best friend turned boyfriend... His long term crush.

He feels shivers down his spine as he slots his dick at Scara's entrances before thrusting inside him. Both of them moan out loud at the sensation, the way Scara wraps around him, the way Kazuha stretches him out. Kazuha doesn't stop until he's all the way in.

"You're..soo...fuckkk Kazuha so big.."

Kazuha moans as he feels Scara clenching around him. Kazuha pulls out a little and starts to thrust back inside.

"And you're..so fucking tight...fuck Scara...fuck...I won't last long like this .fuck..." Kazuha fuck into Scara, hard and fast. Nothing calculated or organized in the way that he fucks him with all the need and lust that builds up inside him all these years.

Kazuha feels the pressure on his pelvis, he's going to cum soon. He reach his hand low towards Scara tdick and starts to rub it as he keeps fucking into him. Scara cries out at the touch and clenches around Kazuha hard. He couldn't help himself. He's too sensitive and Kazuha feels too good and just right.

"Kaaazz cumming cumm!!" Scara cries out and Kazuha curses as he thrust a few more times inside Scara before he couldn't take it anymore and cums deep inside him.

"Fuck..fuck.." Kazuha breathes out as he looks at the sight of Scara sprawled before him, in all of his glory.

He truly so fucking perfect.

Kazuha kisses him passionately, holding him in his arms dearly.

"God.." Scara says in between kisses. "What took us so long..."

And Kazuha laughs at that...

"We must be stupider than we thought..."

"You're stupid I'm not."

"We're in this together. If I'm stupid, you're stupid."

"Okay I'm stupid too. But you're stupider for not bagging me faster..."

"Okay...that one's on me.." Kazuha smiles and rolls his eyes as he kisses Scara again...

Mine.

Finally mine.